#I miss our fights so baaaaad

[the-punforgiven]

God I miss sparring with friends so much

[spell406]

So, a friend of mine basically forced me to watch at least one episode of Netflix Castlevania.

(Disc - I am new to tumblr and had a little problems with posting this thing correctly. Sorry for spam)

So I watched one. And then another. And another… When I finished it was 3 a.m., my eyes were burned out, my brain fried, and my soul forever forfeited, but whatever, who need it anyway.

I am new to the universe, and I know that I am something like 10 months late to the review party, so instead I decided to just share a bunch of thoughts of mine. [UPDATE – Because I am extremely heavy procrastinator and it took me almost two weeks to write this thing I am already at 50% of SoTN right now I’ve finished SoTN by now]

First of all – Castlevania looks like anime, but shares almost nothing common with it. It was a relief, to be honest, as I was a little afraid of show being just another shounen with specific set of clichés and similarities that might quite not bad (or even enjoyable), but I’ve seen them too many times before – better or worse executed – to watch without a mild nausea another Bleach/Naruto in a darker scenario.

I would never demand a fantasy world to be realistic. Like, who would do, fantasy world is supposed to be… fantasy, right? I am fine with lack of realism but I can’t say the same about lack of common sense, and there is a matter of logic that I personally find quite funny. When you are about to fight in close quarters with someone, with both of you lives on stake you’ll want to use every possible advantage. In general there are two kinds of battle armors – first one is focused on providing maximum protection (like typical medieval plate armor) and second one designed to grant freedom of movement especially critical in usually legwork-heavy duels. And here are our “battle” priests in gowns. Gowns, that manage to provide neither aforementioned advantage and downsides of both. Heh. It just bothers me too much, honestly.

I really love the flow of narration; the way that every character including antagonists has its own set of motives and reasons, even Carmilla has her own background that is convicting to justify her bitchery (Well, she has seen it before, right? And Dracula wasn’t even trying to hide his apathy, so why would she like to watch as dead man wages his hollow war)(Is it only me or Dracula shows typical signs of severe depression? Apathy, lack of strength to take any decision, not taking care of himself, loss of interest – even in his own war – well, to be honest he has a good reason to do so).

Animations. Ah, that one is unquestionably excellent, although you Powerhouse Animation guys could have make use of an additional 4-5 fps – from time to time I had a feeling that there is a cat sitting on my keyboard’s space bar, pausing and starting show over and over - it happened something like two or three times. If it comes to favorite scenes – for me, it would be first meeting and fight between Trevor and Alucard. The dialogue and music is so good at reflecting rising pressure and tension between those two – let put oneself in Trevor’s boots – just day before he was rather concerned about getting some food/drink and move on and now he is standing against something that he now considers to be last boss of his life, or perhaps not, he doesn’t even know how does Dracula looks like and he doesn’t seem to be openly aggressive, or perhaps yes, he is obviously vampire and he seems to doesn’t like Belmont name, on the other hand even lesser vampire might be not so easy foe and he is kinda out of practice, and Sypha doesn’t feel like helping out, at least for now… It is all just perfect, and the sound track alone is stuff of legends. (Season 2 OST on Spotify WHEN??”)

Second best would be first phase of Dracula fight – the way which they are team working fluently to not let eachother get killed pleases my inner maniac in best possible way, although the 1 vs 1 part is kinda downgrade - but still ok.

But there is one thing that really stands out in best possible way from things I’ve seen before and that’s utilization of facial expression and body language. Like seriously, this combined with really outstanding voice acting bring interactions between characters to another damned level. (Unfortunately, national translation and voice acting is so awful that I couldn’t bear myself to finish even first season). There are few thing I consider more important in creating credible character than combining overall expressiveness and voice acting, the ability to tell words without actually using any (Finding Ciri cinematic in Witcher 3 is perhaps best known to me example) - and Castlevania does it just soooo good.

Dracula generals. When they were shown for the first time I was like “oh boy he has summoned generals, (Generals! Master tactician, the artists of war!) the oldest, most cunning and powerful beasts from entire world, now things are going to get rough.” And how did it turned out? I can understand that Dracula tasked his forge masters with overseeing the war (Although his reasoning was kind of ok, good job Dracula for nominating for executives two people, that knew least about proceeding war) Did they were incompetent so much? Then how did they managed to get their titles, if they were just a bunch of endlessly whining mischief-makers? They were supposed to know how war looks like, and how to do one, but instead they did literally nothing for war effort! If you ask me, that is at least one risen eyebrow. Excluding Godbrand, the only member of council that did anything more than grate his teeth in silent anger, killed some civilians and got taken care of quite effortlessly. Also, Godbrand wasn’t made to be the sharpest knife in a closet, but he still was bright enough to ask himself “What will we do when we’ll win a war?” Also, he managed to notice that there were no real plan to follow... That is +1 to you Godbrand, I’ll miss you my vikingy boi. In the end, if they were meant to be just a background, they did get a little too much of screen time, and if they were not, they got faaaaaar from enough of it.

By the way – not sure if it’s only me but I personally think that Trevor might be keenest (or – at least – not dumbest) of protagonist trio. He might lack classic education, but he is careful watcher (he noticed fresh oil in torch and overall state of Alucard’s hideout), he correctly chosen and quite successfully executed strategy at Gresit square (isolate, divide and destroy) and quite steadfastly shrugged  off Alucard bickering (well, most of times). Also, his plan for battle with vampire generals was quite logical – avoid close quarter cause humans are in general more fragile than vampires, and Alucard as frontline. My inner maniac was most pleased.

As I said before, I really enjoy Castlevania’s overall character design but with an exception of bishop of Gresit. There is no reason for his work, I know that he is insane and reasoning usually does not apply to those like him but I feel like there is no reason in villainy (this entire talking about making a God’s own country – well, I don’t buy it), aside of being genuinely baaaaad, which kinda stands out in negative way in comparison to the rest of characters.

To highlight the issue, lets do some roleplaying here:

The night creatures are ravaging the land that you had sworn to protect in unholy war against humanity, killing women, men even your subordinates alike. The citizens are growing restless, and demand taking an action. How do you proceed?

a) Find the last descendant of family known for their prowess in fighting those beasts; but be wary – he doesn’t seem to like you very much after you branded him as heretic, exterminated his entire family and burned down his home (probably with some of aforementioned family still inside it). However, if you nicely ask for help, reverse the curse, apology for making mistake and return the estate it actually might work. (to be honest that could be quite interesting moral choice for Trevor, to help people of Wallachia and let bishop take all glory or decline the bishop proposition and screw people over in the process)

b) You can fight them, you are the Holy Church after all. You have access to unlimited supply of holy water, relics, you have enough money and authority to arm and train people’s militia properly. Your knowledge of those beasts might be as wide as Belmont family, but at least should be sufficient to minimalize the damage. Killing the Dracula, however, might be impossible for you.

c) You spent most of your time on biting, trashing, or looking for anyone to cast entire blame upon; it doesn’t matter who is that poor bastard as long as it is not you. In addition, you…

AAAAARGH I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF ANY LONGER! BROTHER, I DON’T FEEL LIKE I AM   WICKED ENOUGH! I REQUIRE TO SEE SOME SUFFERING OF INNOCENT TO FEAST UPON! WHAT DO YOU SAY, BROTHER? I CANT HEAR YOU OVER RAGE BOILING IN MY VEINS! WHAT, SPEAKERS? OF COURSE THEY WILL DO RAAAAAARRGARGAJGIOGJIHKBYIUOL

Oh well.

Well, looks like I am done here. By the way, sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker (If I’ve commited any spectacular crime against vocabulary/grammar let me know on priv).

Now I’m going back to rewatching show and torturing SoTN

No TL:DR, just read it if you want, it is not an entire book, you know.

[mentallydatingahotcelebrity]

I Couldn’t Think of A Title But This is a Rant About Ragnarok

I was trying not write write another long-winded spiel about Thor: Ragnarok. There are just SO MANY FLAWS with the film that I find it hard to touch on one specific subject without thinking about 3 other subtopics that relate to the discussion.

Buuuuuuuut. . .

I had to crack my knuckles and pull up my keyboard once more because I keep seeing people go on this “If only Ragnarok had gone such-and-suchly” route. And the way it should have gone, according to many, is still not how it should have gone (even if these ideas are better than how it did go).

First of all, when people say Ragnarok should’ve been “different” they usually shell out some form of this:

1. Thor learns Odin is a despicable asshole

2. Thor discovers Asgard’s terrible past in colonization and decimation of other nations and becomes ashamed of his realm

3. Thor unites with Loki to combat what’s wrong with Asgard’s political views, etc.

NO

NO NO NO

PLEASE, CAN WE CEASE WITH THIS COLONIZATION BUSINESS?!?!?!

I know it’s important--I’m not trying to say it isn’t--but for this film it is a FICTION created by an idiot who didn’t bother to invest time in the source material.

Thor already knew that Odin had conquered realms. That his grandfather had conquered realms. This isn’t news to him whatsoever. We LITERALLY got a prologue in the very first film featuring him and Odin and Loki discussing conquering. AND THEN ANOTHER in The Dark World.

Thor knew that bad things had happened, that all of Asgard wasn’t holy, pure, and good. That Odin was flawed. He REALIZED THIS at the end of his first film and in the middle of his second film.

OR HAVE YOU ALL FORGOTTEN THIS SCENE:

"If and when he [Malekith] comes, his men will fall on ten thousand Asgardian blades." "And how many of our men will fall on theirs?" "As many as are needed! We will fight! To the last Asgardian breath, to the last drop of Asgardian blood."

-- Odin and Thor, Thor: The Dark World

If you watch closely, (unfortunately I have no pictures) Thor stares at Odin with a look that is one of dismay and disappointment as his father walks away. In that moment Thor understands how much Odin is blinded by prejudices, and illusions of things that will not work anymore; that are archaic in their mode and frail in their means. As frail as the old man he suddenly understands his father has become. And then suddenly, Thor--faithful, dog-loyal Thor, who respected Odin so highly and sought in the first film to “make you proud, father”, understands that he can no longer make his father proud and do what he knows is the true right thing to do. It’s subtle, almost entirely beneath the surface-- Expressed through only a single facial movement and an air of disappointed shame which is quickly segued into the cutscenes of Thor following through on his own plan and recruiting Loki, who he now understands is right--at least about Odin’s failures as king.

THIS IS CINEMATIC POETRY AT ITS FINEST.

Thor goes to Odin to petition him to let him find a safe way to end Malekith’s plan, only to discover that Odin is narrow-minded, obtuse; refusing to alter his views or even really LISTEN to Thor. Thor is awakened to the realization that this isn’t what a good king does-- and I think that’s why he turns down the throne at the end when Loki-guised-as-Odin offers it to him.

Thor’s seen Odin for who he really is, what he became. He does not want to be that, so he goes off--Hoping to see more of the realms and to gain a better understanding of them.

“There are Nine Realms. The future king of Asgard must focus on more than one.”

-- Lady Sif

We don’t need some big moment (a waste of footage) where Thor confronts Odin about these errors. We don’t need Thor to say “We colonized and this is bad and I’m going to change it and be a better king” because that’s extra and doesn’t add to the character or the fictional sci/fi-fantasy universe he lives in. It’s literally just a waste and pandering to a bunch of ridiculous themes in our own universe that we really shouldn’t be impressing into Thor’s.

No, I’m going to mention something that in the hype of Ragnarok everyone seems to have misplaced:

THERE WAS A KING BEFORE ODIN.

HIS NAME WAS BOR

AND HE’S THE ONE WHO BUILT ASGARD.

I am so mentally exhausted with all of this “Odin built Asgard on the backs of slaves and brutally colonized scores of planets in the Nine! HE IS EVIL, EVIL! BAAAAAD!!!!!”

NO!

shhh ShhHHH SHHHH!

STOP IT.

It’s farcical lies. All of it. Just kill that ideology now.

Odin did not build Asgard. Like Thor, he inherited it. Premade. Already golden.

Because King Bor did all of that.

The only reason we’re thinking anything else is because we had a clown in a pineapple onesie fuck with the Order of Things and Not Pay Attention to Past Source Material. Taika literally ran over the fact that there was a monarch before Odin, that Odin isn’t creator of Asgard. Hell, did he even read the origin myths for Asgard!?!?!?

It goes:

Ymir the giant. From him came Buri, from Buri came Bor and from Bor came three sons: Odin, Vili, and Ve (in what birth order we know not).

King Bor built Asgard; built it up as the highest realm (highest as in = most glorious of them all), and THEN went out realm-conquering or whatever. Mostly he just stopped the giants from killing a lot of people and stopped other races from killing one another--however he also got into a fight with Vanaheim, which makes me think that Odin and Frigga were an alliance through marriage (given that Frigga is Vanir).

I really would like to know where the slaves came from, Taika. I really would.

Because:

Vanaheim was equal to Asgard (though the two realms did have a lot of quarrels, they never took one another as slaves, at least in the mythos).

Nornheim only has the 3 Norn sisters living in it protecting the Well of Urd.

Niffelheim is cold and dark and icy and barren; the realm before Helheim.

Helheim is the land of the dead and those who go there (usually) are never to return.

Jotunheim is the land of Frost Giants; and while Odin might have subdued them to keep them from destroying other realms like how the Allies stopped Hitler from destroying other countries), he certainly DIDN’T make them his slaves.

Muspelheim (as we saw) is full of fire-demons and Sutur to rule them.

Midgard was left entirely to its own devices after a few decades of visiting, we can plainly see. Not to mention that Asgardians seem to consider them “weak” and “puny” so they wouldn’t be used as slaves, since the composition of Asgardian matter is probably substantially different compared to Midgardian matter (especially given how Thor and Loki could just rip through Midgardian objects like paper in Avengers: Assemble).

Alfheim is the realm of the Light Elves and ain’t none of them gonna be taken as slaves. They practice M A G I C for crying out loud!

Svartalfheim is the only one that I could maybe probably see as being slave-material, but they got this insane idea to wipe out all of the light in all of the Realms so Bor Odin’s dad if you forgot had to destroy them.

Not for any reason to do with superiority, BUT BECAUSE THEY WERE TRYING TO DESTROY ALL THE REALMS!!!

If you notice a pattern here:

Someone tries to meddle in the affairs of the realms to a harmful extent. Asgard heaves a great heaping sigh and steps in, defeats the threat, and retires to their golden city.

NOWHERE IS THERE COLONIZATION AND INVASION.

The Dark Elves LITERALLY tried to make the light go away.

The Frost Giants LITERALLY tried to wipe out all of Midgard.

Bor (then Odin with the Jotuns) stepped in to protect other realms. Either realms that were weak or realms that simply weren’t aware of the problem (because why cause a panic when you can just deal with the problem? *looking at you, Dark Elves*).

To sum up:

I’ve done the research and nowhere do I see slaves.

Thanks, Taika.

I mean, yes, I’m sure there were slaves somewhere in the Nine Realms, I’m sure it happened. But I think that with all of these realms, with thousands of planets in each realm, and so many of them being “advanced” that the idea of slavery would be mentally slow to them. And of the few planets that were in that number that used slaves, Asgard would certainly not be counted.

Because why the actual solitary hell do we have to have every single fucking universe in fiction be slave-holding? God, that really makes Americans sound like butthurt assholes. I know it’s supposed to be some sort of allegorical symbolism and warnings to not let that stuff happen again and other epicness, but if they really wanted to do that

WE HAD BLOODY SAKAAR TO PUSH THAT MESSAGE.

THERE WAS EVEN AN EGOTISTICAL AMERICAN ACTOR PLAYING THE LEADER OF THAT PLANET.

AND TAIKA MISSED THIS.

Of course he couldn’t make Sakaar unique, no. (What, are you dull? The man has zero imagination!) Waititi had to go and poison Asgardian history with slavery and colonization yada, yada, yada *vomits*. Because he has no imagination and no idea how to write fantasy worlds. Which is clearly defined in his total lack of understanding and ability to embrace the fictional world of Thor.

Waititi couldn’t ever allow himself to really get a good grasp on the universe of Nine Realms, so he made it into a farce. He couldn’t put faith in fantasy so he destroyed it with a blowtorch and kitschy 70s/80s sets that were really garbage bins in disguise. Because he can find a foothold in bad comedy more readily than he can catch on to high-fantasy.

We already know that Asgard has problems. We didn’t need Taika to make that more obvious. It would’ve been nice that instead of saying “oh, heey, lookie, more problems than you thought initially!” he brought SOMETHING NEW to the scene.

Something with substance.

Colonization is nice and all, and a strong allegorical message, surely, but Asgard was doing just fine being bad without that idiotical and unnecessary leap. Thor was feeling like shit about Odin’s kingly choices In The Past without needing to “discover” what he already knew lmao this underworld side of the realm.

It was dramatic enough that Hela is really the first-born in line for the throne. We didn’t need any of that realm-conquering/executioner horseshit to fog up the fishtank.

In all honesty I would’ve loved to learn that Loki was Hela’s son with Laufey but was unsatisfactory so she tried to sacrifice him for more power over killing things but Odin came in, put a stop to the Power Couple of Death and Destruction and saved his grandson, thus giving more validation to the line “your birthright was to die!”

Anyway, I’m out. Most likely to go puke because I’m so very ill and then come back and cringe at this insanely plot-holey post.

[four-loose-screws]

Fire Emblem 5 Umemura Novelization Translation - Chapter 5 Part 4

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

“We’ll be there soon.” Carrion stopped his horse.

“We will? In that case, we can handle ourselves from here. Thank you for leading us this far.”

Carrion stared at Leif and didn’t say a word.

“Um…… What is it?”

“I’m not going back. Please allow me to come with you to Tahra, and then help you retake Leonster.”

“Why would a Thracian side with me……!? Why do you want to see Leonster rebuilt!?” Leif’s eyes opened as wide as they could. His entire body started shaking.

“General Hannibal knew everything. The moment he saw you, he realized exactly who you were.” Carrion said while jumping off his horse.

He did? Surprise and fear shivered through him. He thought back to the smile that had been on Hannibal’s face. If he knew who I was, then why did he let me go? Leif tried to think of an answer, but it only made his head spin in circles.

“I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings. There was no hidden meaning in his words. He really does want to help influence the rebellion against the empire. The best proof I have of that is… me. I’m from a family of Leonsterian knights.” Carrion kneeled before Leif.

Leif stared down at him in complete shock.

“And the next place I want to take you to is where Dorias and the other Leonster supporters are hiding……”

Leif’s clouded mind cleared in an instant. “W-What did you just say?!” His voice was louder than he had expected it to be.

Carrion stared at Leif, just as surprised himself.

“Did you say Dorias?! I’m not dreaming, am I?! You said Dorias, right?!”

“Yes, of course.”

“He’s alive! Dorias is alive!!” Leif put his hands on Carrion’s shoulder and shouted. He remembered that fateful day when he was young, when he watched Dorias run back to the castle. Suddenly, he started crying. “Please, take me there right away, Carrion!”

“That’s exactly what I was planning to do.” Carrion bowed deeply, then stood up and got back on his horse. “Let’s go!” He said and unsheathed his sword.

“Why would you need your sword…?”

“We’re about to enter bandit territory.”

“Hold on a minute!” Orsin stomped over to Carrion. “The old man and the others changed their ways a long time ago. Now, they’re living a peaceful farm life up here.”

Carrion looked at the ranting and raving Orsin with a calm expression.

“He’s right! Dagdar isn’t a bandit anymore!” Leif added.

Carrion looked over at him and let out a short sigh. “That was true until recently. Now, a new leader has taken over, and has begun attacking the nearby villages.”

“So what happened Tanya and the old man!?” Orsin looked at the top of the mountain and started grinding his teeth. “C’mon, Prince Leif! I got a baaaaad feeling about this!”

“It’s not just a feeling. If what Carrion says is true, then things are definitely bad.” Fergus frowned.

“Yeah. Dagdar and the others must be worried about us too. We need to hurry! Orsin, do you know how to get to Dagdar’s mansion?”

“Yeah! I’ve been there before, so I remember! ……Um…… maybe.”

“Don’t worry, I remember.”Halvan sighed and put his hand on Orsin’s shoulder.

“Great! Alright then, let’s move out!” Leif ordered.

Everyone formed a line and started climbing Mount Violdrake.

-

When they neared Dagdar’s mansion, they noticed a number of people surrounding it, who all appeared to be bandits.

One of them noticed Leif and the others. “So you wanna pass through here, huh? Ha ha ha, what a bunch of idiots!” He sneered and picked up his axe. “But hey, I’m a nice guy. Just hand over all your money, and no one dies.” He said with a twisted smile on his face.

Leif heard Orsin start grinding his teeth again.

“Orsin, no……!”

Before Leif could turn around and stop him, Orsin dashed past him and towards the bandit. Orsin’s axe cut deep into the bandit’s throat.

The bandit didn’t even have time to react before he fell to his death.

“Orsin! Orsin!” Leif’s cries did nothing to stop Orsin from proceeding further towards the mansion. He furrowed his brow and stared at Orsin’s back. “There’s no reasoning with him right now. Move out, everyone! Our goal is to rout the enemy! But please, capture them alive whenever possible!” He yelled back to the others while starting to chase after Orsin.

-

An arrow pierced Orsin’s arm. He gasped and fell to a crouch.

The bandit that had shot the arrow started laughing triumphantly. “I did it! I shot someone! That was a poison arrow, you know! A poison arrow! Soon, the poison will start spreading throughout your entire body! You’ll suffer and suffer until you die! Gah ha ha ha ha haaaaa!”

Orsin pulled the arrow out and glared at him.

He winced.

Orsin pounced on him.

His face was frozen in fear as blood gushed from his chest and he fell over.

“I don’t have time to deal with the likes of you!” Orsin spat out before continuing forward.

“Wait, Orsin! Calm down!” Leif grabbed his arm.

“Lemme go, Prince Leif!”

“Orsin!”

“I said, let me go!” Orsin freed himself and tried to start running once more. However, his knees gave out. The poison had begun to take effect.

“C’mon, you need medical treatment. Calm down. Dagdar and Tanya can handle themselves.”

Orsin glared at Leif, then suddenly closed his eyes and sighed. “You’re right. Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Don’t mention it. Just calm down, and hurry along.”

“That’s a tall order for me…” He furrowed his brow and twisted his mouth into a pained smile.

*

“C’mon, Gomez! Open your eyes! Stop embarrassing us already!” Dagdar looked up and glared daggers at Gomez, a man with a square face covered in stubble.

Gomez’s face looked even more warped and angry in the flickering light of his torch. “Oh, so you think I’m embarrassing us?” The ends of his raised eyebrows started to twitch. “No, YOU’RE the one embarrassing us!”

“What!?” Dagdar tried to stand up and grab him, however, one of Gomez’s bodyguards stabbed him with a pole. He fell on the floor.

“Dad!” Tanya ran over to him and helped him sit up.

His body was covered in countless wounds from fighting off the bandits trying to capture them. But because he was trying to both protect Tanya, and fighting what used to be his men, he didn’t care about his injuries.

“And YOU’RE the one who needs to open his eyes! Surely you’ve realized it, too! If we continue living like we have been, we’ll soon have nothing left! That woman tricked you!”

“Don’t you dare talk about Eyvel like that!” Dagdar tried to lunge at Gomez again, but the bodyguard stabbed him again, this time in the shoulder.

The bodyguard held him back by digging the pole into his wound.

He swallowed his spit and glared at Gomez.

“She really does have you by the balls. You’re done for, you old pervert!”

“Enough already, Gomez!” Dagdar stood up once more. The bodyguard’s pole stabbed him in the chest. He pushed through the pain, turned towards Gomez, and raised his arm.

The pole broke with a snap.

At that same moment, they heard a loud noise as the door was smashed to pieces and a bandit went flying through the room.

*

“Outta my way!” Orsin grabbed the bandit blocking his path by the throat and flung him forward.

The bandit flew into the room with the destroyed door and landed on the floor.

Orsin saw the stunned bandits, Dagdar, and Tanya through the hole in the door. “Tanya!”

“Wait up, Orsin!” Orsin was already running into the room, and Leif was frantically trying to chase after him.

“Orsin! What the hell are you doing here!?” Tanya yelled.

“Saving you, that’s what!”

“I didn’t ask for you to save me! And first of all, this is my house! You can’t just come barging in here!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m gonna save you now, so be quiet!”

“What did you just say!? Do you even listen when people are talking to you!? I said you don’t have to save me!”

“I got it, now be quiet! I’ll be done in a minute!”

“You just proved my point! You’re always like this, doing whatever you want…… saving me…… Why!? Why are you like this!?” Tears suddenly started pouring down her face.

“Hey, whoa, what’s the matter? Why are you crying? C’mon, don’t cry!” He started panicking and squat down in front of her.

She buried her face in his chest, wiped her tears on his shirt, and continued crying.

“Orsin, you take care of her, and stay out of this for now.” Dagdar said with a pained laugh before standing up. He looked at Gomez and grabbed his hammer.

“Dagdar. You used to say that if we don’t steal, we can’t live. Stealing is what brought us together. Don’t you remember? Do you really think you have any right to blame me for what I’ve done?”

“That was a long time ago. I thought we had all realized that was no way to live, and given up our bandit ways, together. And yet, you still did this to us.”

“But no matter how much we plant here, nothing grow! If we don’t do something, then we’ll all starve to death!”

Dagdar raised his hammer. “If we don’t steal, we can’t live. That’s true.”

“Then more and more of us will starve to death!”

Dagdar swung his hammer down.

Gomez closed his eyes and braced himself.

The hammer stopped right in front of his forehead.

“I’m disbanding the group!” Dagdar turned his back to Gomez and shouted. “You can all go where ever you want. But know this. I will never forgive a bandit. If I catch any one of you stealing, I will show you no mercy.” He declared, glaring at all the bandits around him.

“Dagdar!” Leif ran up to him.

His expression softened in an instant. “You been stayin’ safe, Prince?”

Leif nodded, but Dagdar ignored him and started looking around.

“Where’s Eyvel? I haven’t seen her yet.”

“I’m sorry…… She’s……”

“Spit it out! What happened to her!?” He barked.

Leif couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Hey, old man. I’ll tell you everything. It’s still really hard for Prince Leif to talk about, so don’t make him do it.” Halvan said while slowly walking up to Dagdar.

Dagdar frowned and looked down at Leif. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“……I’m gonna try to save Evyel…… no, I will…… I will save her! I promise!”

Dagdar gently put one of his large hands on Leif’s head. “So she’s alive, then. Don’t worry. I’ll help you. And we’ll save her. Won’t we, Prince?”

He nodded, feeling the warmth of Dagdar’s hand on his head.

[zosterops-montanus]

Adding see sea shanty folk hits

-Theres a Baaaaad storm coming (and it's symbolic)

- I am an alcoholic because I'm very sad about women.

- I am an Evil Pirate who Does Evil and It Is A Lot Of Fun

- I am a Goodly Merchant and Here is how I Murdered the ever loving fuck out of some pirates

- Johnny lost him got damn legs (and sometimes his arms)

- An old man does some things (has horse stolen, wakes his wife, tells sailors to find prostitutes, etc)

-My captain is dead and I have no legs (I am crying and drinking)

- RUM. RUM. RUM. BEER BEER BEER

- Sally brown is SO hot and sexy and powerful and amazing god I hope she notices MEEEEE (and her dad likes me)

- I am Having Fuck (and hijinks ensue)

- I miss my Wife so bad

-Killing whales is fun (and I miss my pregnant wife)

- I, a woman, am disappointed by men and am sailing away

- Prostitutes are amazing (and go to heaven)

- I hate the fucking English so much I am trembling.

- Story about the aftermath of fights (we loot the bodies)

- God Jesus above kill me so I don't have to do any more work please

- we are working and doing our jobs (which we hate)

- We are drunk

- oddly specific details about the devil.

im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever

[enkisstories]

The android cemetery (Chapter 6)

Gavin jumped off the couch. “Call Tina, tell her we changed our plans for the weekend and that she needs to bring a shovel! Because tonight we’re going to be baaaaad cops and violate municipal law! We’re getting us a shut down PL600 from the junkyard!” he announced.

Daniel looked upwards, skeptical.

“From my perspective”, he said slowly, “that equals digging up a graveyard.”

Gavin shrugged. “Graverobbery is nothing I would have considered before I met you, but here we are”, he replied. “Come on!” Gavin pulled Daniel off the couch. The android being lighter than a human of his height and build it didn’t take much effort. “Let’s pretend this is our weird Goth phase!”

“I don’t know…”

Gavin pouted. “That’s a polite way of saying No”, he complained.

Adorable as his “meerkat” was looking in this state, Daniel knew he should be honest with Gavin. As Daniel’s lifemate the human deserved it and so the android nodded and said: “Okay, sorry. A “No” it is.”

It didn’t have the intended effect. Instead of letting the matter rest, Gavin pushed his agenda, now that he was feeling he had scored the first blood in a duel of wills.

“Oh? A No for real?” the man sneered. “What is this? The What-triggers-Daniel-this-week show? First it was the humans, then it was pistols and now you are afraid of dead androids?!”

“Of course I am!” Daniel yelled. He adjusted his posture subtly, most notably trying for a more stable footing. It was a subconscious thing and Gavin registered it in the same part of his mind, the survival suite that was always running in the background. Conscious of it or not, Daniel was preparing for a fight. The android shouted: “Since you are afraid of living ones!”

“I’m not afraid!” Gavin protested

“I’m not “getting triggered”!” Daniel shot back.

“No, you are only going trigger-happy…”

“Oh, look who’s trying to be witty again! If only you used your brain for thinking!”

“I am doing that! It’s you who’s only ever feeling! Fuck ey, am I accidently going steady with a girl here, maybe?”

“You might find yourself alone sooner than you think if you don’t drop this RIGHT NOW!”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of!” Gavin was shouting on top of his lungs now. “Why can’t you see that? I don’t want to lose you so badly! I want to keep you in my life forever! And if you ever walk out on me, I want to know that you’re still there, alive and miserable. Real! Miserable!” At this point the human needed to catch his breath. “Look, Daniel”, he gasped, “I’m not suggesting this expedition for the fun of it. You are running a real risk of your cover getting compromised. And then it’s Camp Five for “study”. How long do you think you’d last there? You, of all people?”

The deviant glared at his partner. “I’d have the guards disarmed and dead on the floor before they realized what was happening!” he hissed. “Then I’d take one of those convenient identity-concealing helmets and…”

“…get offed by an automated security system that you didn’t even notice. Poof! That’s exactly what I mean. I give you twelve hours at max. before it’s the landfill for you. Only in a different way than the one I proposed.”

Finally Daniel seemed to see his friend’s point, because he said nothing. At the very least he had stopped insulting… insulting back. Whatever.

“You know”, Daniel said, with a grin on his face, “I could kinda warm up to you proposing…”

“Hear, hear, who’s being witty now!” Gavin laughed.

Tentatively they took a step towards the other. Daniel ruffled his hair nervously, but Gavin wanted to be the one to do that now. He tilted his head to the side a little, what made him look even more than the burrowing mammal Daniel sometimes pictured him as. The android opened his arms wide… and heard his partner’s phone ring. It was the ringtone assigned to work calls, so after a quick apologetic nod Gavin picked up the phone.

“Lt. Reed here. Who…? Oh. - It’s Connor on the phone.”

“Connor?”

“Connor.”

“What the fuck? Can you summon him now on demand whenever you are getting out of arguments?”

“Shhh!” Gavin hissed, then listened to the android on the other end of the connection. “Still there, Con’? You need to tell me WHAT? - Say that again! - Oh my god, be blessed, sweet digimon! You’re the best! - What? No, I haven’t been sampling from the confiscated Red Ice. What makes you even think so? Is asking moronic questions part of CyberLife’s “oh, so lifelike” selling campaign or what?”

“Here!” Gavin forced the phone into Daniel’s hands. “Hear it from Connor yourself. Brandon tried to be helpful. It researched the case and noticed the missing files.”

“Brandon…?”

“Red Ice Brandon, not Villareal Brandon. Mine, not yours. Troublesome things either way, though!”

Daniel raised the phone to his ear. He was still looking angry, and getting angrier by the minute. But when he ended the talk it was obvious that the deviant’s wrath was directed at neither Gavin nor Connor anymore.

“Alright, meerkat”, Daniel sighed. “Looks like we need to go to… that place, regardless of how I feel about it. You… you are still my meerkat, are you?”

“Always, slide rule.” They hugged. “Always.”