#I miss my wife tails (want to read Worm again)

[meowmeow1meow]

when ur chilling with ur teammate but then accidentally start looking at eachother

[dudeandduchess]

Sweetest Sin [Rengoku Kyoujuro x F!Reader] Chapter 3

Rating: SFW Characters: Rengoku Kyōjurō x F!Reader Chapters: 5/5 Summary: A written collection of all the times when Rengoku proposed to his then-lover, who eventually gave in and became his wife. Chapter Word Count: 3,167 Tags: Smut, Fluff, Short Series, Fingering, Creampie, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposal, Mild Manga Spoilers (Very mild, I promise), Impregnation, Finger Sucking, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Light Dom/sub, Light Bondage, Tsundere Reader, Angst

Note: Hello, everyone! This chapter has a different tone compared to all the other chapters. I guess you can say that it's a bittersweet chapter. So, just a word of caution if you're not feeling up to reading something angsty. Thank you so much for reading! Hope you guys like it. <3

***SFW***

It wasn’t like Oyakata-sama to have made a mistake, so surely (Y/n) believed that he had sent her there for a reason. She had heard that he had the power of foresight, and even if that weren’t true, he would never willingly put her in danger.

‘So there must be a logical reason,’ (Y/n) thought to herself, as she looked up the snowy mountain that used to be her home.

Fear immediately gripped her heart when her crow told her to head to the eternally snow-covered mountain, and she couldn’t help but think that the worst had happened while on her way there.

Because she might have been estranged from her family, but that didn’t mean that she stopped caring about them. And to have been sent there because of a demon attack was enough to shake her to the core.

She had wanted to talk to Rengoku before she left, as she lived close to his home, but he wasn’t there when she arrived at his house. Senjurō was the one who had answered the door and, with a blush, she accepted the letter that her lover had left for her.

In the letter, he said that he had to leave for a mission of his own, and that he regretted not being able to say goodbye to her. But that was usual for him; what was very different with that letter, was the fact that he had included an omamori with it. 

She had to suppress a smile when she saw that it was a charm for a healthy pregnancy.

True to her answer, she had been seriously thinking about his proposal. Of course she wanted to get married to him, but she had to figure out a way to make it happen— even without her father’s approval. 

And that was when it clicked inside her head: she never would have come back to her home, had Oyakata-sama not sent her there on a mission. So, after steeling her nerves, she marched towards the thicket of trees— back to the little snow-covered town where she grew up. 

The trip up the mountain was longer than (Y/n) remembered, or maybe it had to do with the fact that the last time she was there, she had been running down the steep slopes, hand-in-hand with Rengoku.

She could still remember that day like it had just happened yesterday, even though it had already been three years since that day. She was seventeen back then, and very in love with the boy she had practically grown up with.

During the harshest winter storms, she and her siblings— along with their mother— would go down the mountain to live with her mother’s parents; in the same town where the Rengoku family lived.

At first, she tried to avoid the exuberant blond who kept following her around, but he inevitably wore down her defenses and wormed his way into her heart. Years passed and they were practically glued together when (Y/n) stayed with her grandparents. 

And eventually, she had to move in with her mother’s parents so that she could get a proper education— which only brought her and Kyōjurō even closer. She thought that the attraction she felt towards him was merely nothing more than that but, eventually he confessed to her and asked her to choose him.

To stay with him, so they could grow old together. 

And of course, she pleaded with her father to let her be with Kyōjurō; but things didn’t exactly work out in her favor, so they opted for their last option: to run away together.

They didn’t get very far until (Y/n)’s grandparents and Kyōjurō’s father caught them. But (Y/n) was adamant about staying with her young love, so she was put in her grandparents’ care. Until they passed away three years ago.

She thought that she was going to have to permanently move back to Yukiyama because she would no longer have caretakers, least of all a house to live in, but she was proven wrong when she found her grandmother’s will. 

The house and all of their other possessions were all handed down to her. Not her mother, but her.

Because, as her grandmother had said in her letter, she deserved to be happy with someone who loved her just as much— if not more— than she did them.

Slowly, the faintest of smiles tilted up the corners of the (h/c) haired woman’s lips, until it was wiped away by the putrid stench of a demon nearby.

Instantly, (Y/n) got her naginata from where it was strapped across her back, before ducking down into a defensive stance. She didn’t know what kind of demon she was up against, but it couldn’t have been a weak one if Oyakata-sama had to send a Kinoe to dispose of it. 

Yet, she was proven wrong when she wrapped up the demon in practically no time at all. One stab at it with the spike at the other end of her naginata did the trick, as the sharp end had a small chamber where it was constantly being fed with wisteria poison. 

So, it seemed that she wasn’t there for the demon, after all; but for a much riskier challenge. 

The challenge of talking to her father.

(Y/n) wanted to turn tail and run, but was tethered to where she stood by the motivating idea that she could finally say yes to Rengoku, after she finally renounced herself from her family.

It was the only solution she could think of, as securing her father’s approval would be more difficult than defeating Kibutsuji himself.

And so, with a determined stride, she traversed the familiar path towards the temple at the edge of the town.

 ***

 Everything looked to be the same as it was years ago. The courtyard was still well-maintained, and the winter garden crops were still in the same order. It seemed like nothing had changed in the time that (Y/n) was gone; she was the one who had changed.

For a few minutes, she stayed rooted to the spot— just surveying the area and taking every detail she could to her memory; because she knew that it was the last time that she was going to see them. Even if the last memory she was going to have of that place was of it being bathed in moonlight, then she would take it.

���State your name and business,” A chilling voice from behind (Y/n) hissed out. And she, in turn, raised her hands up to the sides to show the person that she meant no harm. 

“I’m here to talk to (L/n) Daichi. The name’s-” She was about to utter her own last name, when she remembered that she was there to renounce that last name. So, she went with the next best thing: her future last name, “Rengoku (Y/n).”

The new name left a pleasant tingle on her lips, one which almost made her smile— had it not been for the fact that the tip of a knife was pressed against her back.

“Walk,” The man behind her instructed, and she followed suit— walking towards the main house that she knew like the back of her hand.

The lights were still on, which meant that everyone was still wide awake. It came as a surprise to the (h/c) haired woman, as she used to have a strict lights-out policy enforced upon her when she lived there. 

“Seiji-dono,” The stranger called out towards the closed front door. And not even a minute later, the exact male copy of (Y/n) came bounding out of the house in a yukata. It seemed that he was about to turn in for the night, as his hair was already in a top knot— which (Y/n) had taught him all those years ago. “Kneel, woman.” 

(Y/n) scoffed at that, before answering, “Why would I kneel to my own brother?” 

With that, she quickly whirled around and knocked the knife out of the man’s hands, as it had been getting annoying with the constant poking against her back.

“(Y/n)!?” Immediately, the aforementioned woman was tackled into a tight hug from the side. Seiji tried to gather her closer to him, as if to make up for all the lost years, but she merely smiled and patted his back softly.

She would never tell him, but she had missed him. “You’ve gotten taller, Seiji. How have you been?” 

“You’re asking me? I should be asking you that! I haven’t seen you in years!” At that point, tears were streaming down her twin’s cheeks, and it was made more evident by the thickness in his voice. “You just disappeared! You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Well, I’m here to say goodbye. For good, this time.” The wistfulness in (Y/n)’s tone wasn’t lost on Seiji, who pulled away from her to look into her face. When he saw nothing but seriousness in those features that were identical to his, his expression fell as more tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Why?”

Slowly, a sad smile tugged at the corners of (Y/n)’s lips. She then moved to cup her brother’s face in her hands, and proceeded to wipe his tears away. “You’re still a crybaby, I see.”

“Why are you leaving again?” 

“Because I want to marry Kyōjurō. And I can’t do that if tou-san doesn’t give us his approval.”

“(Y/n)…” Seiji’s eyes widened, and his expression fell even more as he stared at his sister. He didn’t want to have been the one to break it to her, but it was necessary at that moment. “Otou-san passed away a year ago.”

Wide-eyed, (Y/n)’s hold on her brother fell until her arms were pressed awkwardly between their bodies. “W-what?” 

In response, the younger of the siblings relinquished his hold on his sister, before taking her suddenly-clammy hands in his own. Her hands were even chillier than the snow around them, yet he still pushed himself to tell her what she needed to know. “He suddenly got sick, and he tried to get you so that he could say goodbye, but you always seemed to elude whomever he sent to get you. 

“So he gave up on that idea,” Seiji continued, “But he did leave something for you.”

“What about okaa-san?” The words left the woman’s lips in a hushed whisper; as if she was afraid that voicing them out would ultimately give her the answer that she dreaded to hear. “She’s already asleep.” Seiji rubbed her hands to warm them up, before pulling her along with him. “Come in, it’s chilly out here. I’ll prepare some tea for you.”

(Y/n) was stuck in a numb state; she could do nothing but stare blankly down at the cup of tea in her hands, as her brother told her about all that had transpired while she was gone. 

Apparently, he had taken over their father’s job as a kannushi, and he and their younger siblings still tended to the place. A handful of aspiring kannushi were employed at the temple as well, and a few of them served as guards at night— especially since the demon attacks started.

And when he had slid over the pristine white envelope bearing their family’s crest, the tears that (Y/n) had felt bubbling up inside her started to prick the backs of her eyes. 

With unsteady hands, she picked up the weighty letter and opened it.

Once she unraveled the folded sheets of paper inside, the first page made the tears in her eyes slide down her cheeks.

Because that first sheet was an unfinished marriage registration form for her and Kyōjurō, which bore his seal of approval.

 ***

 The trip back to her home was slow, because she felt her guilt weighing her down— even though her father specifically told her in his letter to not feel guilty for the things she had done. 

She had read through the letter so much that she had already memorized it word for word: 

 My Dearest (Y/n),  

I hope this letter finds you well.

Seiji must have already told you what happened to me. You can call it anything you want, but I would like to consider it as karma.

I wasn’t the best father to all of you, and I deserve what I have been dealt. And you have every right to be wary of the men I send to take you back.  

But (Y/n), I merely wanted you back so I could apologize for all the wrong things I’ve done. You and your siblings are all special to me, but I never realized it up until it was too late. I was a horrible father, and I will own up to that fault eternally.  

Enclosed in this letter is a marriage registration form with my seal on it. That boy, with the flame-hued hair, came by three years ago to ask for your hand in marriage. Of course, being the close-minded man that I was, turned him away and told him never to return.

But he was back the next day, and the day after that.  

He was nothing more than a mere low-ranking Demon Slayer, so I thought he would not be able to protect you. But he proved me wrong by coming back as a Hashira. Yet I still said no. 

It wasn’t until a month later that I came to realize that he had finally proven himself worthy of you. And this is my way of admitting that I was wrong.

You are not to blame for any of this happening. I hope you will never regret the choices you have made up to this point. Some may say that you have sinned, but to do things that would make you happy, while not hurting anyone, is not a sin.  

I’m sorry, my darling daughter, for not being the father you deserved.  

With all my love,

(L/n) Daichi

  Her father’s words kept running through her mind, which pulled her even deeper into its tight clutches. Her feelings were so suffocating that they were physically weighing her down; making her movements reluctant and sluggish.

She almost wanted to sit by the side of the road to try to compose herself; but the thought of seeing Kyōjurō again and being in his arms motivated her to keep walking.

And when she did manage to arrive at her home, she almost cried at the sight of her lover standing by her front door, with that ever-present smile on his face.

Only, when Rengoku saw the state she was in, his smile immediately dropped, as he hurriedly gathered her in his arms. “What’s wrong, (Y/n)? Are you hurt?” 

It wasn’t like (Y/n) to lose her tight leash on her emotions but, at that moment, she couldn’t care less as she let that tight control slip. She wrapped her arms tightly around her lover’s torso, before burying her face in his chest. 

Kyōjurō didn’t know what to do. It was the first time that his lover had ever reacted that way, and he was at wit’s end trying to find out what was wrong with her. Instead of pressing her though, he wrapped his arms tighter around her shoulders, then nuzzled his cheek affectionately against the top of her head. 

Her tears and quiet sniffles were practically wrenching his heart open, but he knew that he had to let her cry everything out first; before he tried to understand what had her so sad. 

His usual enthusiasm and boisterous words of encouragement would have worked on any other person, but not with (Y/n). Despite her tough exterior, the Hashira understood just how delicate the love of his life really was. She didn’t require jovial reassurances, but a gentler approach. 

She required his silence and empathy, and he was more than happy to give it to her.

 ***

 “How are you feeling, my Sweet Flame?” Rengoku asked softly, as he set a cup of tea in (Y/n)’s hands. He leaned down to get a better look at her face, and frowned when he saw her puffy eyes, and red-tinged cheeks.

He wanted to make something heartier for her— like nabe— but he didn’t want to risk burning down her kitchen. The full extent of his cooking knowledge ended at tea; and that was only when he was lucky enough to not scorch the tea leaves.

(Y/n) eyed the tea in her hands, before taking a dainty sip and snapping her gaze up to her lover. Softly, in a raspy voice, she commented with the beginnings of a sad smile on her face, “This is horrible, Kyōjurō.”

The Hashira chuckled in turn, then moved to get more comfortable from his seat beside her. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’ll try to be better next time, okay?”

Gone was the loud, boisterous tone that Rengoku usually held. And in its place was an equally jovial, but quieter tone, that served to make (Y/n)’s heart race. It was a tone that was reserved only for her, which was pretty damn special in her book. 

“What had you so sad earlier?”

(Y/n) hesitated, before setting her tea cup down on the tatami mat and fishing out the folded letter from her right pocket. “It’s from my father.” 

Rengoku’s eyes widened at the letter she held out to him but, nonetheless, he accepted the wrinkled envelope and leafed through its contents. His heart raced inside his chest, yet his face was a mask of impassiveness as (L/n) Daichi’s words sank in. 

He remembered the strict man perfectly. Only an idiot would forget what such an imposing man looked like. He looked nothing like his daughter, except for those sharp eyes.

A chill ran down his spine at the memory of him practically begging for (Y/n)’s hand in marriage. The (L/n) patriarch had immediately shot his question down, and asked him the very words that urged him to become a Hashira sooner.

‘How would a low-ranking slayer like you be able to protect my daughter? Simply having a blade is not enough; you need the skill to prove it. Come back when you’re actually worthy of her.’  

He wasn’t a bad man for wanting to marry his daughter off to someone who was more capable of taking care of her; he was just a father who wanted the best for his daughter.

Rengoku understood that now; and it seemed that (Y/n) did as well.

With a simultaneously heavier and lighter heart, the Hashira folded the letter and stowed it back into its envelope. When he looked up at his lover, it was to see that she had more tears in the corners of her eyes.

And when one of them escaped and rolled down her left cheek, he reached out and wiped it away with his thumb. “Don’t worry, (Y/n). I’ll take care of you.”

“You’ve been doing that for years.”

Rengoku chuckled. “I’ll take better care of you, then.”

At that, a small smile tugged up at the corners of (Y/n)’s lips, which made the Flame Hashira’s heart practically blaze with fire. Even with her tears, she was still the most beautiful person in his world. “I’ll be in your care… goshujin-sama.”

“G-goshujin-sama?” Kyōjurō’s tone rose up in incredulity, which (Y/n) couldn’t help but grin at. “You’ll marry me!?”

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

[willow-salix]

Isolation update!

Day 74 of Isolation on Tracy Island

“What on earth are you two doing?” Gordon asked, popping up out of nowhere like a tropical jack-in-the-box, his shirt flapping in the breeze, making us both jump.

We were doing nothing more exciting than stretching out on the couch, where I had forced John to settle by laying on him and then demanded he read to me. And since that was actually a pretty normal occurrence, I was at a loss as to what he was referring to. Knowing him he'd just declared today to be "eat with your toes day" or something equally ridiculous and was annoyed we weren't playing along.

John stopped reading to glare at him. I lifted my head off his shoulder to join in with the glaring.

“We were trying to have a quiet moment without constant interruptions,” I told him. Why did he have to have so many brothers?

“I told you we should have gone up to Five for a few days,” John sighed, picking up the book again and continuing to read from where he had left off. I snuggled closer to listen.

“This supernatural soliciting

Cannot be ill, cannot be good. If ill,

Why hath it given me earnest of success,

Commencing in a truth? I am Thane of Cawdor.

If good, why do I yield to that suggestion

Whose horrid image doth unfix my hair

And make my seated heart knock at my ribs,

Against the use of nature? Present fears

Are less than-”

“That! That’s what I meant. What are you doing?” Gordon interrupted again.

“Trying to read Macbeth, obviously,” I grumbled.

“Why? It’s rubbish. No one reads that sort of thing any more.”

“Sure they do. Did you not read Shakespear in highschool?” I asked.

“Only when I had to, not for fun," he sneered that last word in the same tone people use when they have just trodden in something disgusting or realised there is no milk left in the house.

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” I told him.

“You two are so weird, there are billions of books out there and you are reading one so old that hardly anyone can even understand it any more.”

“We understand it, or we wouldn't be reading it,” John sighed. “It’s not our fault that it’s too intellectual for you.”

“I could understand it just fine if I wanted to!” Gordon protested. We snorted in disbelief. “Hey! I can be an intellectual too, I can be smart. Move over!”

He shoved our legs out of the way, forcing us to sit up and dropped down next to me on the couch.

“Do you have to be here?” John asked.

“Yes. I’m going to prove that I’m smart, keep reading.”

John sighed but continued where he had left off, obviously knowing that there is very little point arguing with him.

“Are less than horrible imaginings.

My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical.

Shakes so my single state of man.

That function is smothered in-”

“Nope! I can’t do it! It’s just so boring!” Gordon wailed.

“Heathen!” I smacked him with a cushion.

“Out of my sight! Thou doth infect my eyes!” John flicked his forehead.

“What was that?” Gordon asked, beginning to laugh. “Did you just insult me in your weird Shakespear language?”

"Yes, because we invented old English," I sighed.

“Thou art a dull and muddy-mettled rascal.”

“Did you just call me stupid in old english?”

“Yep,” I grinned. “He did. It isn't boring, Shakespear is a total G.”

“Yeah, right, still sounds boring to me.”

“Macbeth is a masterpiece, it's about a Scottish dude and his mate who meet these three witches and they, out of the goodness of their hearts, give him a prophecy telling him that he’ll become king of Scotland but that his mate will father a whole line of Scottish kings but won't be king himself. Feeling like this is totally his destiny he isn’t prepared to wait it out and see what happens, he wants to be king now, so, with the urging of his wife, he kills the king and his mate. He is crowned but he becomes overwhelmed with guilt and paranoia. He goes back to the witches and they tell him that he must beware of some other dude named Macduff but that Macbeth is incapable of being harmed by any man born of a woman. So Maccy B, he gets a bit cocky and thinks it's all good for a while, even though Macbeth’s wife is going a little cray cray and taking the whole handwashing thing a wee bit too seriously. But then Macduff gets in on the action and brings an army with him, they storm the castle and Macduff tells old Bethy that he was born by cesarean-”

“Untimely ripped from his mother's womb,” John added.

“And Duffy beheads Macbeth and this other dude named Malcom that I forgot to mention, becomes king. See? It’s great!”

“Love, you just butchered Shakespear so badly that even I didn’t understand half of what you just said.”

“It’s my gift to the world,” I shrugged. “My ability to sum up a plot so badly that even I’m not sure if it makes sense. But I thought I did OK with that one.”

“Yeahhh, not so much,” Gordon teased. “I tuned you out three words in.”

“John, insult your brother for me, I am no longer talking to him.”

“Thou yeasty folly-fallen bladder.”

“How dare you, sir! I have no idea what that means but it sounds bad.”

“That’s kind of the point.”

“What’s the point?” Scott chose that moment to walk in, catching the tail end of the conversation.

“John is insulting me!”

“What did you do?”

“Insulted him.”

“I was asking Gordon.”

I cracked up laughing, Scott always has our backs.

“He said that Shakespeare was boring and then was mean to me after I took the time to explain the plot to him. Now I’m not talking to him.”

“Did you explain it the same way you explained The Witches of Eastwick to Virgil? Because I’d seen it and I didn’t understand that either.”

“My talents are wasted on you all,” I nudged John and quirked an eyebrow in Scott’s direction. He rolled his eyes but dutifully dragged out a premium insult.

“Sense sure you haven else could not have motion; but sure that sense is apoplex’d. ”

“Oh my god, you can still do that?” Scott laughed in amazement.

“Do what, insult people?” Gordon asked, clearly confused.

“John was in a Shakespearean insult team in highschool, they actually took part in competitions, he was obviously the champion, won them the league and a bust of Shakespeare’s head as a trophy.”

“Obviously,” I agreed, patting his hand proudly. “Dude got mad skills.”

Gordon's eyes flicked up to the bookshelf on the balcony above our heads where a small gold bust sat.

“You are so weird.”

“So you frequently tell me. Now, will you two kindly go away and leave us in peace?”

“Oh no, no way,” Scott laughed. “I want to hear more, in fact, I’m calling the others.”

And that’s the story of how John spent more than three hours blowing their minds and damaging their egos with a never ending volley of insults as they goaded him into more and more outlandish attacks. Here are some of the best.

Thou hath not so much brain as ear wax - to Gordon because he’s not intelligent enough to appreciate old english.

Thou qualling ill-nurtured lout - to Alan who kept chanting “me next, me next”.

Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat in respect of a good piece of flesh indeed- to Virgil because he was in the middle of trying to tame his hair when he was summoned.

Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy - to Scott because he was brave enough to attempt to insult him back.

Thou fawning spur-galled harpy!- at me when I stole his coffee

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so- to all of them.

Your face is a book, where men may read strange matters- to me, because I’m a strange, strange lady and asked for another insult.

Thou fusty onion-eyed nut-hook! - at Virgil, no reason at all.

Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out- after flipping a certain finger at Scott.

Thou wimpled bat-fowling puttock- at Gordon because it was his fault that John was stuck insulting people when he had just wanted a quiet afternoon.

Thou currish bade-court hedge-pig- at Alan while examining his chin growth.

What, you egg! Young fry of treachery! - at Alan when he sided with Gordon.

Assume a virtue if you have it not- at Gordon when he protested his innocence.

Thou artless tickle-brained haggard! - at Virgil when he compared John’s nose to Shakespeare’s massive hooter.

Thou villainous weather-brained barnacle!- at Gordon, just because, and now everyone is calling him a weather-brained barnacle.

Get thee to a nunnery- to me when I said his Shakespearean accent was strangely hot.

Thou puny rampallian baggage- at Gordon, for no reason other than he’s short.

Thou art some fool, I am loath to beat thee- at Scott when he attempted to start a Shakespearean rap battle (don’t ask, it didn’t last long)

Thine face is not worth sunburning- to Virgil who thinks he’s too cool for sunscreen and has a red nose because he fell asleep in the sun again.

You yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am if like a crab you could go backwards- at Jeff who wanted to know just what the heck was happening in his lounge and why we were all screaming with hysterical laughter.

I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue away!- at Alan when he tried to steal one of John’s cookies while he was distracted.

Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you filthy bung, away!- At Gordon when he also attempted cookie theft.

The insult lashes came to a halt when Grandma called us for dinner.

“Hey, John?” Gordon whispered as we bundled down the stairs to the kitchen

“Yeah?”

“I dare you to insult Grandma’s cooking.”

“No, my love, it’s not worth it, think of the children!” I gasped.

“What children?” he asked, genuinely perplexed.

I shrugged. “Our non-existent children, I just thought I'd go full movie heroine for dramatic effect. You do what you want, you’re all crazy.”

He narrowed his eyes as he thought about it, then nodded. I should have known, no Tracy can resist a dare.

Grandma plonked down plates of something that might have been chicken, but also might have been sausages in a gravy for gruel straight out of a Dickensean nightmare.

I watched John out of the corner of my eye. Would he actually do it? He took a deep breath, as if psyching himself up for it. I couldn't blame him. He pushed the plate away and opened his mouth.

“Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish! Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”

I think John’s grounded now, but the boys still haven't stopped laughing...

[purralyth]

How have things been going with Chariot and crew? Maybe I missed some things, but it feels like it's been awhile since I last heard of their shenanigans! Has the gf been helping out? Any crisises? (In the world around them or emotional?) What is the DEALIO I am ready to hear it!

haHAHAHA i’ll be honest i don’t talk much about their emotional/world crises because they are happening All the time. our dm wants to see us suffer. but let’s have a small summary shall we, i’m actually going to put this one under a read more bc we’ve done That Much

so first things first, the gang got shunted into the feywild, i talked about that much. that’s where we picked up our lovely little tiefling monk Fuarthas (Silence, back then) from his awful hag grandmother rosie, found chariot’s masked mom, and then got taunted by a fey demigod in his Hell Maze and he proposed to fuarthas and now they’re engaged because he’s a warlock now it’s fun shit. anyway. we get back to toril with the crew (and chariot’s masked mom’s ship, lovingly dubbed Eri’s Chariot after her daughter and her dead boytoy, that we thought we might have to leave behind) and we find out that in the MAYBE month-long period we’ve been in the feywilds, 2.5 years have gone by on toril. meteors have fallen from the sky, which is now a permanent blood red, people are chanting at these meteors embedded in the city like possessed cultists who attack anyone that threatens to take them out, and the worms coming out of the meteors are like kind of sort of turning people undead?? it’s messed up. Cool Stuff. but chariot’s aunt mom Serenity and uncle dad Patience opened up an orphanage so that’s cool

So we got some magic tattoos in some downtime (Chariot got 2, one on the back of her neck that lets her understand Undercommon, and another on her chest that gives her a free use of Mage Armour per day) and met up with some new NPCs, one of  which is traveling with us now as our cleric-fighter and is dating(??) our big tiddy big heart half-orc barbarian Lockjaw, and left our aasimar monk’s kickass wife behind to run her tavern bc she’s expecting. we go to look at some funky stuff going down in the town cemetary. first thing we do is go see erran, our moon elf friend we took into the feywild and hates us now for it, and he takes us into this portal and shows us this weird temple thing his supervisor or something had just discovered. there’s these murals on the walls of meteors striking the earth, and a flood, and some figures sailing on a ship through the sky, and then 7(?) figures, that like kind of seem like Us but not quite on par, so fun stuff, and these two HUGE statues in the main chamber. somebody presses a button and this fantasy Alexa bitch floats down from the ceiling and is like oh shit presences detected. and starts listing these titles, like Sufferer, and Guardian, and Exceptional, and then locks onto jia and is like ABERRATION DETECTED FUCK THOSE SHITS and tries to kill her so she has to run. basically without making this too long we find out that we (chariot, frazier, lockjaw, fuarthas, and frazier’s daughter) are descendants of some ancient heroes that saved the world once, and we grave rob just a little and get some cool magic items, and there’s this prophecy that we’ll stop the apocalypse or something?????? shit’s wack. we go back out to see jia and chariot’s trying real hard to cover for her but she’s like well i cant rly hide it anymore. hey guys i have an illithid tadpole In my brain and it didn’t develop so now i’m also part of a separate prophecy that i’ll wipe out all the illithid. but look at this i can float but chariot and i did some research and the only way to not have it be a problem anymore is to destroy my skull and then resurrect me. so that’s a lot of fun!!!!!

still in that cemetary, we find a trail of meteor worms. follow them into a secret passage that leads to the lair of Sunshine, masked mom’s dead assistant that chariot one-shot, but it turns out she’s a necromancer! she kicks our asses to unconsciousness even after chariot polymorphed into a t-rex and sells us to Neogi in the underdark, which if you don’t know what they are, google them, they’re fucked up spider giraffe eels that are evil incarnate and basically were slave trading us & psychically torturing Jia the whole way!! which made chariot throw cantrip after cantrip at them to try to hurt them so they just mind-control enslaved her over and over so that’s fucked her up good :)

we get sold to some drow after a week. beefy boys were sent to work manual labour til they die, and the rest of us were set to be sacrificed to Lolth, so we go haha we have to get out of here asap. chariot disguise selfs into a drow guard (a man bc i was very stupid) and gets caught 2 seconds out the door by a cleric of lolth, who sets up some mix between a dick appointment and an ass kicking for later bc chariot didn’t like. idk acknowledge her. fuck drow. she and fuarthas (who she was pretending to transport) skedaddle into a side chamber and a drow guard captain comes in. she goes to beat up fuarthas so chariot attacks her and a wild magic pops off and they fall mutually head over heels in love and lust with each other, which is MESSY. chariot convinces her to help round the gang up, but everywhere they look everyone’s gone missing (frazier and lockjaw got into a fight down at the manual labour camp and jia turned into a fish and shrieked so she’s gone) so chariot ends up wined and dined and tries desperately not to let this drow captain Do Her and does not take a long rest bc she has to stay awake and make sure this woman doesn’t wake up and see she’s not actually Erran the Drow Guard. but when everyone wakes up a shadow dragon is attacking this drow camp. cool. yes. awesome. fantastic. hell breaks loose, chariot and zarra (the drow captain) find frazier and jia in a stairwell, zarra kisses chariot goodbye and runs off to do stuff after a hefty persuasion check, jia gets Understandably Angry, we run like hell to find our magic items they bought with us and get the hell out of dodge With Lockjaw’s new orc army he’s recruited and the drow dude we found that’s a part of Frazier’s old order. shadow dragon finds us, holy shit she’s frazier’s adopted mom, she offers us a ride back while chariot very desperately tries to tell jia she doesn’t know what’s going on and why zarra kissed her and why she feels like this (she didn’t know it was a charm !!) and generally feeling Very Shitty. we get to frazier’s old monastery and the charm wears off, chariot and jia have a very long talk and chariot breaks a couple times, chariot steals a bottle of wine to try and feel better, she gets in shit for it and frazier takes the fall, he gets whipped as a punishment which just breaks chariot even more, she puts herself on house arrest for a full week, jia finally starts talking to her again 3 days into that, they do some drugs, chariot makes a deal with shadow dragon mama to split the cost of a teleportation circle and the gang blows up at her but she’s like nah it’s cool. at this point she is using her +9 deception to pretend she didn’t just break for a whole week and nothing happened and she’s totally good now guys dont even worry about it.

side tangent from All That, we go to deal with a giant problem for the monastery and there’s corpses strung up with the symbols on chariot’s palm all over. lots of combat yadda yadda, trap one giant in a room and ask her questions through the door, get some cool insight on chariot’s magics that she still has no idea how it works. turns out there’s a third queen of the feywilds, the queen of night and magic if i remember correctly, and she was shunned for her beauty and her and all of her subjects were made to be ugly and misshapen or some messed up stuff. chariots like oh fuck we were just there and no one said shit about a queen that apparently everyone hates that she has the symbols for on her Hands and honestly on her cape as well half the time. but ok cool that’s some new info sweet.

jia’s still guilting chariot for kissing zarra (even though it was a CHEEK KISS and she didn’t do it) because chariot’s been feeling awful that jia got into a romantic relationship (WITH FRAZIER’S DAUGHTER WHO JOINED JIA’S CULT, FUNNY ENOUGH) on her like 10 month leave bc she assumed she’d never get to see chariot again, but that’s a whole can of worms. lots of emotional fuckage though, chariot feels even worse that that happened bc jia hadn’t even been charmed, etc etc etc. but she’s never gonna say any of it bc she’s terrified jia will leave a second time and bringing any of that up might be what triggers it So!

we get told the neogi are selling slaves to jia’s old god, Ool’zakgothool the Aboleth who has been the Big Bad since like session 3-5, so we need to go stop that shit so we can go take down this aboleth and get frazier’s daughter back. but first we have literally no money bc we got sold and had all our shit stolen so we have to sell the like 700lbs of elven armour and weaponry we stole from a navy outpost place thing in the feywild. so we get to solve a little murder mystery in a gnome town so that’s fun. go back to the monastery, pick up some stuff, get some cool magic items made by our new artificer friend Jokk who’s part of the same prophecy we are, and head out again to fuck up these neogi. but on the way jia suddenly sprints ahead and gets like hug tackled by 5 kids who she apparently raised in her cult, and we get lead back to the marketplace where we plan on staking out the neogi and following back to their camp, but uh oh there’s 100 cultists here who swarm us and there’s some midsommar shit and we just fight the neogi right then and there and that’s basically where we’re picking up now. they enslaved lockjaw who oneshot chariot bc she’s a weak little bitch so jia kicked him in the ribs it was fun. and now we’re holding the elf that threatened to cut chariot’s tail off from our Neogi Cage Days hostage to tell us where the shiny gold head hauncho went bc he dimension doored out while chariot was paralyzed and couldn’t counterspell and we want him Dead. to be continued

[boyfriend-kisser]

Episode 5: 

> How fucking old is Glimmer jesus 

> Also yay Bow's there 

> "With She-Ra and a boat, we can conquer anything" bitch wdym just use She-Ra as a boat 

> JESUS CHRIST I FORGOT ABOUT HOW ANNOYING THE INTRO IS DONT JUMPSCARE ME LIKE THAT SKIPSKISPKSIPKSIPSKIP 

> Wow those boats float like, in the air those old boats DO float they're dope 

> Omg Bow is adorable he loves everything he's always so happy I love himso much if anything happens to him I will cut my ligaments off 

> Bow: No pirates? 

Glimmer: No pirates. 

Bow: *Sad arrrr* 

i love him 

> That green lump can sail? 

> Nvm they meant whoever he was arm wrestling with 

> Wow Sea Hawk is hot 

> Uh oh he's a narcissist 

> Bow is also feeling the gay vibes for him so Im not in the wrong 

> Sea Hawk dresses like Papyrus in that AU where sans dies instead of him?? Yknow?? And he's wearing sans's's' jacket and shit??? 

> Yes Adora, show him that he's retarded. Show him how retarded his sexy face is. 

> Bow grr I love you 

> AHAHAHAHA ADORA BEAT HIS ASS WITHOUT EVEN NEEDING TO USE SHE-RA 

> Oh yes, lay the sass on thick Catra 

> Omg Scorpia's hAIR I LOVE IT 

 > oMG SCORPIA'S A  BIG FRIENDLY GIANT AND SHE HAS LOBSTER HANDS AND LITERALLY ALL I'VE HEARD HER SAY IS "KITTY! JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M A HUGGER" AND I ALREADY LOVE HER 

> HAhahahaha cat on boat 

> Scorpia's great nnn please tell me she stays being great forever 

> wTF Sea Hawk set his own boats on fire this DUDE I like him already 

> Okay updated favourites list: 

1) Bow (with or without flowers)

2) Catra (she got promoted back up the favourites list again but I'm still mad at her) 

3) Scorpia 

4) Flower princess 

 5) Sea Hawk

> SHANTY TIME HECK YEAH 

> Aw nvm

> OMG BOW IS ALREADY TYING KNOTS HE'S SO SMART LOOK AT HIM GO 

> GUYS BOW BLUSHED HE HAS A HUUUUGE CRUSH ON SEAHAWK GUYS HE'S SO CUTE 

> SPARKLE TELEPORTS AWAY he called her sparkle im crying 

> Adora fucking showing Sea Hawk who's boss by unfurling the jib by herself heck yeah 

> Sea Hawk's trying his best guys come on be nice 

> Omg Sea Hawk's singing 

> OMG HE'S HOLDING HANDS WITH BOW 

> BOW HAS A VIOLIN 

> Aw the song's over :( 

> Bow's so supportive of Adora as she beats Sea Hawk's ass AGAIN 

> *CRASH* 

Sea Hawk: aHA WE'RE HERE 

*CRASH* 

I love this show 

> Oh yeah adventures with Sea Hawk and WHAT THE FUCK GIANT OCEAN WORM 

> Lmao you can just hear "FOR THE HONOUR OF GREYSKULL" in the background 

> AWWW THERE WAS NO EPIC TRANSFORMATION SCENE :( 

> Omg she jumped off the boat wow epic hero moment 

> Lol she's dead 

> Sea Hawk isn't phased by this at ALL 

> HE'S SO MAD THAT SHE-RA'S COOLER THAN HIM 

> "adora GET IN THE BOAT" 

lmao I dont see how anyone could be scared of Glimmer 

Her name is fucking GLIMMER 

And she's so small and pink 

> Catra MAD WHY HAVE WE STOPPED 

> lOL SHE JUMPED ON HIM 

> There's a Force Captain Orientation???? 

> Also hi Scorpia I missed you and your lobster arms <3

> Catra's hot 

> Omg is Scorpia lesbian 

> I agree, very impressive captain yell 

> Mermaid land is PRETTY 

> AHAHAH Mermista (is that her name? fuck i already forgot) looks so fucking done with Sea Hawk I love it >I like Mermista's outfit tooo she's pretty wow 

> Please don't tell me she keeps that attitude for the entire show 

> SEA HAWK I LOVE YOU BUT STFU YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE 

> I'm TRYING to talk to my new friend Twinkle 

Glimmer: bITCH WHAT DID YOU FUCKING CALL YOU I'LL SHOW YOU A MOTHERFUCKING TWINKLE 

> No dont get rid of your guard or else... Aaaand Sea Hawk is sitting on your throne 

> Ok I like Mermista because she stood up and seems a little (lITTLE) more energetic and less bitchy now 

> S E A  H A W K  SHUT THE FUCK UP THE ADULTS ARE TALKING AND THE PLOT IS ADVANCING

> Don't sit in her lap that's rape 

> Why does Sea Hawk set everything on fire 

> Have I told you how much I love Bow yet? 

"That's Adora, she has a magic sword :)" 

> Oh yeah Adora, READ THE OLD WRITING 

> AWWW BYE SEA HAWK i actually feel bad he got flat-out rejected and like he's super annoying so i see why but still he just wants people to like him :( 

> THEY SKIPPED THE TRANSFORMATION SCENE AGAIN NOOOOOOO please say there's one later :( 

> Fuck yeah Mermista BE impressed bitch 

> Ffs Bow I love you and youre adorable but hushh 

> Tf Sea Hawk where u going 

> GLIMMER TAKE BOW WITH YOU SO HE CAN HELP YOU TALK TO SEA HAWK BC HE'S NICER THAN YOU 

> Sea Hawk's little scream made me laugh really hard 

> Aw, poor Sea Hawk feels useless (he kinda is but dont tell him that hes very fragile) 

> He charmingly set boats on fire omg I love him this is actually really sad 

> OK THANK GOD GLIMMER'S BEING NICE 

> When your powers are shparkles 

> NOBODY CAN GET HER FUCKING NAME RIGHT I'M CRYING GLITTER 

> Yes I knew Sea Hawk was one of my favourite for a reason 

> YAY THEY'RE FRIENDS 

> Aw he looked so happy 

> OK BACK TO SHE-RA LAND 

She's still using a sword like a gun to turn a hologram blue. 

> Hi Bow I love you 

> Bow why do you look scared??? 

> OH SHIT IT'S THE HORDE THAT'S A GREAT REASON TO LOOK SCARED 

> Oh it's Catra 

> AND SCORPIA 

> I love them both a lot 

> Holy fuck Mermista got a TAIL 

> Catra just wants to see her girlfriend 

> OMG BOW'S BOW CAN BE USED AS A GRAPPLING HOOK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? 

> He's so cool living out his pirate dreams 

> FUCK THEY MANAGED TO MAKE ME BA ATTACHED TO BOTH THE PROTAGONISTS TEAM AND THE ANTAGONISTS TEAM AND I DONT KNOW WHO IM ROOTING FOR 

> Im rooting for Bow. 

> Half of this si just me screaming about my love for Bow 

> NO SCORPIA THREW BOW IN A BLENDER NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO 

>THANK FUCK SEA-HAWK SAVED HIM 

They're having a gay moment 

 >Set your ship on FIRE 

> Im excited for flmaing boat time

> HE LOOKS SO HAPPY ABOUT SETTING HIS SHIP ON FIRE IM GOING TO CRY 

> Catra and She-Ra are having a conversation I'm so happy (even if Catra's being mean) 

> Catra just sitting atop She-Ra's sword is so cute to me 

> Ouch Catra scratch 

> She-Ra's so TALL 

> NO CATRA DONT fIGHT YOUR WIFE THIS IS DOMESTIC ABUSE 

> Speaking of lebians, where's Scorpia? 

> MERMISTA'S GAY SHE'S BLUSHING OMG 

> Oh, THERE'S Scorpia 

> I wanna cosplay Scorpia 

> SEA-HAWK AND GLIMMER YAY THEY'RE GREAT 

> I kinda wanna cosplay Sea-Hawk as well 

> FUCKING FLAMING BOAT ATTACK I LOVE IT 

> Aw Catra in the water sad 

> Scorpia will rescue you Catra it's ok 

> Yay the gate's fixed and WOW yeah it's beautiful 

> OMG SEA-HAWK HIT THE JACKPOT HE GOT A REALLY NICE SHIP FROM MERMISTA THAT'S GORGEOUS WTF 

> Hes so happy :) 

>HAHAHAHAHA 

Merm: Don't set it on fire. 

Sea-Hawk: nO PROMISES 

> Aw Sea-Hawk's being useful he's actually kinda cute I love him 

> YES MERMISTA'S IN YESYESYESYES 

> sHE-Ra get's all the bitches (except Catra) 

> Is everybody gay in this show??? 

> oMG BOW'S SINGING A SHANTY ABOUT THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH HARWEFYGYERWABFYIHHWUIFHIEWJNFBIHWQF 

> tHAT WAS a perfect ending to that episode Bow's so cute