#I miss Celaena so much (she just had a name change why am I like this)

[tinasshelf]

y’know maybe Chaol was onto something because I too loved Celaena Sardothien with my whole heart and disliked Aelin Ashryver Galathynius for a while till I came to terms with the fact that this is just how she is now and I have to learn to like it

[knittingdreams]

Fireheart - Chapter 22

This chapter is super precious to me! I loved writing it and I love re reading it every once in a while! It’s probably because Sam is in it *-* You might have guessed by now, but I have a thing for Sam <3 haha

Masterlist: HERE

Ao3 and more chapters: HERE

Tiny tag list: @tillyrubes10 (just leave a comment if you wanna be added to it)

TW: loss

CHAPTER 22

Sinking

“That was not the deal!” Dorian crossed his arms over his chest, clearly annoyed.

“Well, I said I was going to the party with you, I never said anything about how long I was going to be there for.”

“You’ll miss out on the best part! After the boring but delicious dinner and speeches, that’s when the dancing and drinking starts. If you leave early, who am I to dance with?”

“Well, that is not my problem, is it? I will go to dinner this Saturday as promised, but after that, I will be gone.”

“And you won’t even tell me why or where you’re going.”

“Exactly. Now please, it’s Friday night, I have things to do and places to be, so if you may.” Celaena gestured with her hands for Dorian to move along, but he shook his head.

“You can’t just-” She slammed the door shut on his face, and walked towards her room as she heard Dorian cursing out loud in the hall.

Celaena slumped on the bed and covered her face with a pillow. She had 24 hours left until the next fight, and she knew she should head to the mansion for some training, but she couldn’t get herself to do it. After tossing and turning in bed for a while, she decided to go out. She put on a pair of jeans, her black leather jacket and headed out on her motorbike.

She drove around town for a while, not knowing where she was going, trying not to think about anything, but thinking too much about everything instead. When she turned towards the outskirts, she finally realized what she needed, where she was headed. 

It had been long since the last time she had visited.

Celaena parked her bike in an alley and walked a few meters towards the water. She sat down by the shore, the water getting so close that it was almost touching the tips of her boots. It was the spot where she had washed ashore; where Arobynn had found her. She couldn’t remember much about the moment, but she had made Arobynn take her there a few years after she was found, and had come back several times ever since.

There was no other way for her to be close to her parents. Their remains had been returned to Terrasen, and she hadn’t been back there; ever. And sometimes, she even wondered if she’d ever go back.

“Hey, mum,” she said quietly into the night. “Hi, dad. I’m sorry it’s been a while, life hasn’t been particularly easy.” She knew they couldn’t hear her, but she had spoken to them so many times as a child, it was almost like thinking out loud. “I promised you I’d find who did this to you, and I assure you I’m working on it… I’m going to avenge you. I just… I just don’t know if I know how to do this. I have a plan, I do. But I feel like I keep running into dead ends, and the lies keep piling up... I’m afraid I don’t know who I am anymore.”

She sat in silence for minutes, contemplating the water, listening to the soothing sound of the waves crashing, and watching as the stars started shining brighter in the sky and reflecting on the surface. She had lost the only friend she had ever had, she wasn’t speaking with Sam, and she was fake dating a guy she didn’t even trust.

“How am I supposed to run the business after all this is over if I don’t even know who I am?”

Celaena grabbed a rock from the shore and threw it into the water.

“How will I run it, when all I’ve ever done is fight?”

She grabbed another rock, spun it between her fingers, and threw it as hard as she could. She watched the water rippling for long, listening to the water, the wind, and the crickets chirping in the distance.

“I don’t even know who I am.” The words seem to be stuck in her head, consuming her with doubt.

She heard the steps behind her before the familiar voice replied.

“I know who you are, and I’d be happy to remind you if you let me.” Sam showed up by her side, extending a hand towards her to help her to her feet. She looked at it for a while before taking it begrudgingly.

“What are you doing here?”

“I come here sometimes,” Sam’s voice was soft but certain.

“What for?” She raised a single eyebrow at him.

“As a reminder… I have nothing left of my past, of my parents, or who I was. But I know who I am now, and a lot of it, a lot of me, began the day Arobynn brought you to the house. I come here to think, same as you do.”

Sam pointed with his head to the side and started walking slowly along the shore. Celaena followed him, letting the silence between them settle into a calm and pleasant feeling while she thought about Sam’s words.

“I’m not sure about anything anymore.” It was the biggest truth she had spoken in a while. “Who am I? I am not Celaena, I am not Aelin anymore, and I don’t think I can stand up to the Fireheart title either.” She paused for a second before dropping the second painful truth. “They beat me up, Sam.” Her voice almost cracked admitting it out loud, and she had to swallow hard. “I won the fight, but they came after me... I barely made it out. I feel like a fraud.”

Sam looked at her as he kept walking, his eyes traveling to her brow, which was now healed, and then back to her blue eyes. He had known something was wrong, but he couldn’t hide the surprise when hearing her words.

“I’ve missed those eyes, you know,” he said after a while, surprising her by the change of subject. “Not that brown doesn’t suit you, everything does, but the darkness in those eyes… Sometimes I forget about the light that shines within, and I think you do too.”

“What are you even talking about, Sam?” He wasn’t making sense, and she was already getting annoyed at him. She had laid out the biggest truth, had opened up in a way she hadn’t done in years, and Sam was talking nonsense instead of acknowledging what she had told him.

“I’m sorry you got beaten up, and I’m here to talk about it if you want. I can only imagine how frustrated you might feel. After all, you are a fighter, and losing is not something you’re used to. But you are still here, still showing up, still fighting. You might be hiding behind those dark eyes on the daily, but the light that shines within is still there.” Sam looked up to the sky and the almost full moon, lost in thought for a moment while she waited for him to finish talking. “You are Celaena, as much as you are Aelin, and you are also Fireheart. Names are not important, names do not define us. You are not the name, but the person that wields it. You are Celaena, because you are that girl that’s showing up at school and making friends, the girl that joined the cheerleader team and is kicking ass in practice. You are also Fireheart, I don’t doubt that for a second. You are fierce, and you have a passion inside of you that burns so bright, you could light up the whole world if you wanted to.” Sam stopped walking and turned around to look at her, the silver moon making his eyes look bright as he held her gaze.

“Sam, you don’t… you can’t-”

“Don’t you dare say I don’t know you. You can try and hate me all you want, but I can read you better than you can read yourself, Aelin. Because you are Aelin too. You are still that fragile girl that I met so many years ago, and that’s what terrifies you. You are scared of being vulnerable, and that’s why you keep pushing me away. But I won’t back down. I’m here for you, like it or not, and you need to eventually let someone in. I don’t care if that someone is me, or someone else.”

Sam’s hands had traveled to Celaena’s shoulders, and he was holding her at arm’s length, looking intently into her eyes. She looked down, thinking about the past. About how every time she had fought against Sam, he had still been there, silently by her side. How he had been there the first few nights when she woke up screaming, the nightmares haunting her. He had learned how to fight by her side, and always pushed her to be better, to fight as an equal, and not treated her differently for being a girl.

“What happened that night?” She hadn’t let him explain himself and had always believed he had betrayed her out of jealousy or mistrust. Celaena didn’t know if it was all she had lost in the last week, or the uncertainty after being so close to losing everything, but she was finally ready to listen to Sam, to hear his side of the story.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask this for so long, to give me a chance to explain.” He let go of her shoulders, and ran a hand through his hair, looking up into the sky again. “I will never forgive myself for it. I didn’t know what you were up to… I knew you had been keeping a little extra money here and there, don’t look at me like that,” he said as Celaena raised a brow at him. “We worked closely, and you know I pay attention, I knew you’d been stealing from Arobynn for months.”

“Why didn’t you rat me out?”

“Because I didn’t know why you were stealing, and why would I, anyway?”

“You don’t want to know what I wanted the money for?” Celaena started walking again, and Sam followed her as they walked back along the shoreline.

“I do, and you know I won’t tell a soul if you decide to share it with me. I’m done being Arobynn’s spy, I mean it.”

She considered the answer for a long moment before replying. “I wanted to hire a private investigator.”

“To look for your parents,” Sam added.

“And to find whatever I could on Arobynn... To take him down.”

“What?” Sam stopped walking altogether and took a step back. “Are you crazy? Why? No, oh, no, no, why are you even telling me this?”

That was a good question, and one she didn’t think she was ready to answer just yet. “You know he owns us, and even if I get my family’s company back, Arobynn will still own my life, he will be able to get money out of me for the rest of my life with the secrets he knows. I will not be able to rest, even if I get my way. You know that. But that’s enough about my motives, I want yours.”

Sam was shaking his head, one hand furiously scratching the back of his head and messing his hair even more. Celaena kept walking, not waiting to see if he’d follow or not, she knew he would eventually.

“Okay, fuck,” he trotted over to catch up and walked by her side. “That night when you disappeared, I thought the worst. It was just after we had done that raid in the big mansion, and I thought security might have found a trail on us. I went around looking for you, and when I couldn’t find you anywhere, I panicked. Arobynn found me pacing around in your room, waiting to see if you’d show up. I had found your stash, and it was lying on top of your bed when Arobynn walked in.”

Celeana slowed down and headed towards the shore, stopping so close that the water was licking the soles of her boots. Sam stood by her side, his hands in his pockets as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“So he found you there, my stash on the bed… And you told him everything.”

Sam looked down, and kicked the rocks and the sand, making the water ripple around them and splash their boots.

“No,” his voice was almost a murmur, but they were standing so close together, she could hear him perfectly. “I… I told him the money was mine.”

Celaena looked up at him, his profile a perfect silhouette being drawn against the moon behind him. “You did what?” There was no way she had heard that right, why would’ve Sam defended her like that?

“I’ve known him for longer than you, Aelin, and I’ve seen the darkest sides of Arobynn. He will only show you what he wants you to see, and he has always wanted you to see the good parts of him. He wanted you to think he was caring, and that’s why he’s always giving you gifts. All he ever gave me was discipline and punishments, and I was scared of what he might do to you for stealing, so I lied.”

Silence took over as all Celaena could do was look at the man standing in front of her. The boy she had grown up with, the one she had always pushed away, and the same one that had tried to help her all along. She knew now that side of Arobynn Sam was talking about, she had suffered it that awful night, when everything for her had changed.

“Why? Why did you care? I tried so hard to push you, and you-”

“Aelin,” Sam turned around to face her and reached over to hold her hands. His hands were warm against her skin, and she almost pulled away, but Sam’s eyes were so intense, that she couldn’t do it. “We have grown up together, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try to push me away, I will always be there, because-”

“Sam, don’t-”

“No, you fucking listen to me, I’m done with pretending I don’t give a shit and letting you hurt my feelings over and over again. I love you, Aelin.”

Celaena stepped back, getting her hands off Sam’s as fast as she could. No, he didn’t, he couldn’t, she couldn’t deal with that.

Sam started laughing, a relaxed and genuine laugh that was so inappropriate for the situation, that it almost made Celaena laugh as well.

“For fucks sake,” he said when he finally stopped. “You are so scared of people caring about you, that it makes you so blind to so many things.” Sam was shaking his head, and Celaena was lost for words, not having any idea of what was going on anymore. “I love you like a sister, Aelin. You are the family I never had, the one I always wished I could have. And just like any brother would, I sometimes want to kill you and punch you in the gut for being so stubborn and a pain in my ass; but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, or that I wouldn’t do anything for you. You are my only family.”

He had always been there, he had stood up for her, tried to defend her, to take the blame for her mistakes. Sam was like the brother she never had.

“Sam…” 

She had always known it, but had denied her feelings for so long, so scared that caring for him would mean losing him the same way she had lost her parents and everyone else she had ever cared for. But how could she keep running away from him, when he was opening up his heart right in front of her?

“You don’t need to say it back, I know you care for me in your own twisted and fucked up way. And I’ll say it one last time, I’m not going anywhere.”

Going against everything Celaena had ever trained for, every instinct she had learned to develop to survive, and every impulse of running away she felt, she closed the distance between them and laced her arms around Sam’s neck.

As Sam hugged her back, Celaena told herself she was Celaena, but also Aelin. That girl hadn’t completely died that night she washed ashore, and she could still be her when needed, she could still rely on her every once in a while.

“If you ever tell anyone about this, Cortland,” she said as she squeezed him hard and then let go of him altogether. “I will chop off your balls and serve them to Arobynn on a silver platter.”

Sam laughed out loud, a beautiful and heartfelt laugh that filled the space between them, making Aelin laugh with him.

“I wouldn’t doubt that for a second.”

[mrsren]

March Reads + Sticky Tabs

There may be spoilers for all of these in under the line! 

(These are in the order I read them)

The Assassin’s Blade (Throne of Glass Novellas) by Sarah J. Maas

I knew that Sam had been killed before Celaena went to Endovier. I knew that. I knew that and somehow still ended up so invested that my plans to not be invested in everything that is Sam Cortland were derailed so massively. 

It’s not a secret that Celaena irritated me a lot in the first book (majorly improving in the second) but these were really helpful to learn her character. The novellas are really a book of their own, and I will always read it after Crown of Midnight now (except for that one page that I know word for word because I was thoroughly traumatized.) 

My name is Sam Cortland and I will not be afraid. 

No, I’m not okay, your honor. 

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab

After buying this last year, it has been one of my most anticipated reads ever since. I wanted so badly to love every aspect of this book, but I didn’t. And the reason why is really just convoluted, and only annoys me. I do love every part of this novel. Schwab is truly a master storyteller, and she writes an incredible villain. (Please, I don’t care how problematic it may be, I would like a Luc of my own.) 

I loved every part, but I didn’t necessarily love them all together. I had issues with the pacing, and keeping my attention on the novel. A few times, I wanted to close the book because it wasn’t doing it for me. That changed once I met Luc, and I’ve told quite a few of my friends that I was really reading for Addie and Luc, but also as close as I could get to Addie’s resolution as well. 

It may not be a book I reread often, but it sticks with me. Given what the book is about, who Addie is, and the lengths she goes to in order to leave her mark on the world, I think that may be even more important. 

Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass #3) by Sarah J. Maas

I had my worries. I really loved that love interest in book two, and I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t love Rowan. I was wrong. Again. Surprise. 

I’ve been told that the first few books were slow and HoF is where it picks up. In comparison, the first two books are slow but they’re actually packed full of action. 

I think about the slow thaw between Aelin and Rowan all the time. They stick in my head. My family and boyfriend are annoyed that I’m still talking about Rowan and playing his song on repeat weeks later. Sucks for them. 

Queen of Shadows (Throne of Glass #4) by Sarah J. Maas

Arguably my favorite book of the series so far, but I have one more to go. 

I read the scene where Aelin and Rowan reunite ten times before I moved on. 

I love Lysandra so much, when I thought I would hate her. 

Still love Chaol, but want to throttle him more now. 

I just want Dorian to be happy and safe. 

I have the biggest ever crush on Manon Blackbeak

Where Dreams Descend by Janella Angeles

DNF around page 200. It wasn’t doing it for me, but I tried to love it. 

Empire of Storms (Throne of Glass #5) by Sarah J. Maas

I am in so much pain. 

QoS may be my favorite book but this one has some of my favorite scenes. 

From Blood and Ash (FBAA #1) by Jennifer L. Armentrout

WOW. Listen, I recognize that there may have been some problems with the plot, pacing, or whatever I’ve seen on Goodreads but I actually am so in love with this series. 

So in love that I might have ordered several bookmarks for it and I’m not sorry. 

I don’t like dystopians, but this has a very dystopian feel but I love it so much. I haven’t been able to read vampires (it’s basically vampires, right?) for years but I LOVE THIS. 

Two days and I haven’t stopped thinking about Hawke for a second. 

A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire (FBAA #2) by Jennifer L. Armentrout

I loved the sequel even more than the first one. Now I have to wait for book three, and I’m having withdrawals. 

 I love a couple that fights but uses it as their way to create a barrier. I love a couple that says “this is just pretend” when I know damn well this is real. 

Please, JLA, can I have book three. 

Tower of Dawn (Throne of Glass #6) by Sarah J. Maas

I missed Chaol so badly in EoS and I was so happy to see him again. I guess it’s an unpopular opinion to love him, but I still do. What I loved even more was reading his character heal and develop while also reading him accept how things ended with Aelin. 

(Still wanted to strangle him in QoS but I’ve always loved Chaol.)

I struggled to get into Nesryn’s storyline because I was so busy looking forward to when I would see Yrene again. By the end though, I more than loved Nesryn and Sartaq. My eyes were getting watery at a certain part for the two of them. 

MARRIED. OH MY GOD. 

HEIR. 

I haven’t even started Kingdom of Ash yet and I have no idea how I will be able to close the book when I finish it. 

To Love and to Loathe (ARC) by Martha Waters

I wasn’t sure if I would like historical romance, but it turns out that I do! I admit there were some terms I didn’t recognize but they were pretty easy to put together. 

Diana’s antics and scheming are absolutely laugh out loud funny. I enjoyed her immensely as a protagonist. 

My favorite part of romance novels, or movies, is always the scene where they cave to their feelings. And this one was no exception at all. 

I liked the book so much that I ordered the first book about another character in the universe!

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: The Assassin’s Blade, Ch 1-2

Book: The Assassin’s Blade

Author: Sarah J. Mass

I chose to do this book because I’ve barely seen anyone critical of T0G talk about this book. I remember relatively liking it when I first read it, but I also liked Q0S on my first reading, so well. You all know how well that turned out. So let’s dive back into hell!

First, I wanna point out the cover of this novel uses the exact same model as T0G for Celery but throws a shitty purple cloak over her.

That’s totally not lazy at all! And it totally doesn’t add to my suspicion that The Ass’s Blade was rushed out to make a quick buck, nope nope! Also I only wish I could have a thigh gape that big, holy smokes Celery, eat some carbs.

This prequel book is made up of several short novellas before the events of the first book. The first one is Celery and the Pirate Lord.

Seated in the council room of the Assassins’ Keep, Celaena Sardothien leaned back in her chair. “It’s past four in the morning,” she said, adjusting the folds of her crimson silk dressing gown and crossing her bare legs beneath the wooden table. “This had better be important.”

Oh god, we’re back when Alien was Celery.... Well, tbh, they’re one in the same, Alien just splooges about herself more often. Who knows, maybe this book will change that.

“Perhaps if you hadn’t been reading all night, you wouldn’t be so exhausted,” snapped the young man seated across from her.

Love how Celery is a supposed badass uhmayzing assassin, but she stays up all night reading as opposed to... training? Getting some rest for missions? Anything that might not hinder you in your job?

[Celaena] ignored him and studied the four other people assembled in the underground chamber. All male, all far older than she, and all refusing to meet her stare.

Jesus Christ, it begins already. Of course they’re all older than her. Normally this wouldn’t bother me all that much but it’s SJM, so I’m immediately suspicious. Also Sam is in the room and he’s just barely a year older than her, how is that “far older than her”???

When Arobynn summoned you, you didn’t keep him waiting. Thankfully, her sleepwear was as exquisite as her daytime wardrobe—and cost nearly as much. Still, being sixteen in a room with men made her keep an eye on the neckline of her robe. Her beauty was a weapon—one she kept honed—but it could also be a vulnerability.

Just... this entire paragraph. I wish SJM would stop playing into the notion all men are dangerous rabid beasts who can’t control themselves and just wanna rape every woman they lay eyes on. It doesn’t even make sense here, Celery knows all of them and aside from creeper Arobynn, none of them have ever sexually harassed her so why is she suspicious? And gotta that lowkey sexism implying that all beautiful women are delicate flowers who can’t look after themselves.

“Gregori’s been caught,” Arobynn finally said. Well, that would explain one person missing from this meeting. “His mission was a trap. He’s now being held in the royal dungeons.” Celaena sighed through her nose. This was why she’d been awakened? She tapped a slippered foot on the marble floor. “Then kill him,” she said.

Man, Celery is... actually acting like an assassin? I mean, when you’re an assassin, the mission takes top priority. I wonder how long that’ll last, though.

She’d never liked Gregori, anyway. When she was ten, she’d fed his horse a bag of candy and he’d thrown a dagger at her head for it.

I mean yeah, that’s really sadistic. She’s a literal child and he tried to murder her? Granted SJM destroys what little sympathy I have by then explaining Celery caught the dagger and threw it back, giving him a scar on his cheek. Even when she was a literal child, she was the best assassin evah. Gag me.

“Kill Gregori?” demanded Sam, the young man seated at Arobynn’s left—a place that usually went to Ben, Arobynn’s second-in-command. Celaena knew very well what Sam Cortland thought of her.

Sam is the only other young character in the room so yeah, obviously he’s gonna be her love interest for this book. Henceforth, they do nothing but bicker for the first 70% of the novel.

The location of the Assassins’ Keep was a well-guarded secret, one she’d been trained to keep until her last breath. But even if she didn’t, no one was likely to believe that an elegant manor house on a very respectable street in Rifthold was home to some of the greatest assassins in the world. What better place to hide than in the middle of the capital city?

So you’re saying literally no one questions who owns this huge fancy elegant place? That the king never goes, “Huh, someone who has wealth to rival mine has a huge ass manor right in the middle of the Capital” and he never checks it out? Nobody questions it? Okay.... if you say so......

The firelight cast the smooth, elegant panes of Sam’s face into light and shadow—a face, she’d been told, that could have earned him a fortune if he’d followed in his mother ’s footsteps.

Considering that his mother is a courtesan...... gross. Stop sexualising your characters so much, please.

Turns out, Ben was also killed. Oh no, not the guy we literally never met before! Celery is pissy that they didn’t retrieve his body.

“If we’d grabbed his body,” Sam said, refusing to back down from her glare, “it would have led them right to the Keep.” “You’re assassins,” she growled at him. “You’re supposed to be able to retrieve a body without being seen.”

I mean, you should be able to retrieve a body given that you’re assassins, but eh, who am I kidding, I care little for the conflict of Retrieving Ben’s Body.

Since Arobynn is apparently the only mature guy in the room, he tells them to stop acting like children.

Sam kept his gaze on the floor as he strode to the far side of the council room. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the stone wall. She could still reach him - one flick of her wrist, and his throat would spout blood.

Holy shit, Celery, that’s murder!!! Like Sam just disagreed with you, that doesn’t warrant you imagining yourself slitting his throat!!! How the fuck are they gonna end up in love I have no idea.

Celery throws a pity party for herself and stomps off to retrieve Ben’s body. Sadly, she does not perish while doing so, and Chapter 2 begins.

Two months, three days, and about eight hours later, the clock on the mantel chimed noon. Captain Rolfe, Lord of the Pirates, was late.

Given that the actual Pirate Lord story begins here, the first chapter was, you guessed it, utterly pointless and could’ve been cut altogether.

Celaena, concealed behind a far-too-stuffy black cloak, tunic, and ebony mask, rose from her seat before the Pirate Lord’s desk. How dare he make her wait!

How dare the entire world not bend over backwards to accommodate Celery and her agenda! Fuck you.

“With every minute he makes us wait,” Celaena said to Sam, the mask making her words low and soft, “I’m adding an extra ten gold pieces to his debt.” Sam, who didn’t wear a mask over his handsome features, crossed his arms and scowled.

???? So why is she wearing a mask??? Does she have a pimple she’s embarrassed of??? Why???

Neither of them had been particularly happy when Arobynn announced that Sam would be sent to the Dead Islands with Celaena. Especially when Ben’s body—which Celaena had retrieved—had barely been in the ground for two months.

So how did she, a skinny sixteen year old, possibly carry a thirty year old man’s body and do it discreetly enough when the place was supposedly swarming with royal guards? How convenient that the first chapter ended so SJM didn’t have to explain this.

She raised her brows, but realized he couldn’t see. The mask and clothes were a necessary precaution, one that made it far easier to protect her identity. In fact, all of Arobynn’s assassins had been sworn to secrecy about who she was—under the threat of endless torture and eventual death.

Wait a minute, what the fuck? What the fuck... why...

Okay, I’m gonna do lay down for a bit, scream out my frustrations, the like. I’ll be back in a bit.

Alright.

What the fuck?? So you’re telling me she’s a famous assassin who uses her real name?? That her face is so recognizable she has to wear a mask??

THAT’S NOT HOW ASSASSINS WORK!!! The whole point of being an assassin is that nobody knows your real identity, you’re supposed to hide your name so you don’t get caught!!!! If you’re a famous assassin, you’re probably known by like, a cool nickname that isn’t your fucking name!! This makes no goddamn sense!! My assassin rebel leader from my dinosaur WIP is facepalming at what a dumbass Celery is.

All that the world knew about Celaena Sardothien, Adarlan’s Assassin, was that she was female. And she wanted to keep it that way. How else would she be able to stroll the broad avenues of Rifthold or infiltrate grand parties by posing as foreign nobility?

So is her face a giveaway or not?? She can’t show Rolfe her face, but she can stroll down the street and go to parties without concealing her face? This is beyond fucking stupid.

Rolfe shows up, and Sam demonstrates that he’s the only character with a brain in this novel.

Sam stood, bowing his head slightly. “Sam Cortland,” he said by way of greeting.

Meanwhile, Celery just fires sarcastic and ‘witty” quips one after another.

Rolfe’s eyes gleamed with the challenge. “You’re in my city, and on my island.” Only a handbreadth separated them. “You’re not in any position to give me orders.”

Slay her Rolfe!!! I stanned Rolfe in E0S, I’m gonna stan him here, because he is as sick of Celery’s bullshit as I am.

With two deft flicks of his wrist, Rolfe sliced open both envelopes with a letter-knife she somehow hadn’t spotted. How had she missed it? A fool’s mistake.

Lmfao, what a noob. Maybe if Celery wasn’t busy stuffing her nose up her own ass, she’d notice important shit like that.

Rolfe reads the letter which details Arobynn asking Rolfe for some slaves, and at least Celery has the decency to be disgusted by that. Strange that she was the capacity to care about someone other than herself, but I’ll at least give her points for that.

[Rolfe] pointed toward the door. “I have two rooms prepared for you.” “We only need one,” she interrupted. Rolfe’s eyebrows rose suggestively.

I mean, gross to sexualise your characters even more, but Celery does realize saying they only need one room does sort of imply she and Sam are a thing, right? Like she gets so pissy that Rolfe interprets it that way, but like, it does lowkey sound like they’re an item therefore she doesn’t mind sharing a bed with him? Whatever, who cares.

Celery wants to punch Rolfe in the dick but doesn’t and the chapter ends. So begins another tidal wave of absolute bullshit.....

[longsightmyth]

Queen of Glass, Chapter 9

Celaena’s very expensive clothing is glossed over except to say that there are more shoes than she cares to count, which I do not believe. When Celaena realizes that the dress is incredibly tight, she’s understandably angry.

I told him to make them larger! I told him five times to make them a size bigger!

Sometimes I think this work gets it.

But she bore the smallness of the dress well, even if it did make her feel as if she would faint.

I am proven wrong every time.

Celaena hates all of the petticoats, not because they impede movement but because she thinks they make her look like an upside-down umbrella. She does like her hair.

We’re informed that Celaena hasn’t eaten breakfast or lunch (she’s fullnamed for this line, far too late for it to be effective) and that she’s not sure she could eat anything in a dress so tight.

Chaol shows up out of breath, having forgotten to send a guard to get her in time and apparently to even let Celaena know that anything was going to happen today, because she’s unaware that she’s meeting the other ladies. I quote, “Lateness is not a virtue that they hold in high regard!”

Uh-huh.

Anyway he gives her her cover story as they run to the meeting room. Cover story includes the tidbit that she didn’t have any brothers so “he sometimes treated you like a son - which is why you can now handle weapons so well.” Her mother is dead. In the published version they at least establish that earlier, but in the published version her name was also Lillian Gordaina instead of Lithaen Gordaina. I wonder what prompted the change?

He gave her a moment to catch her breath and regain her countenance. Her insides were surprisingly shaky. Her freedom was to be decided as soon as she entered this room. How pretty were these women in comparison to her?

It’s fine, Chaol assures her. She’s “ten times prettier than any woman in that room.”

I’m sighing a lot while I type this, y’all.

Celaena enters a room with a few rows of chairs, not all of which are filled yet. So much for worries about tardiness, I guess. The chairs fill in the next five minutes, and the girl next to Celaena is “pretty, but looked rather weak and fragile. It was hard for Celaena to imagine a girl like this killing anyone.”

You know, I was looking forward to more women being around in this version, but I’m starting to rethink that. Also, Celaena is an assassin and should know the benefits of looking pretty and fragile and then poisoning someone to death. She has no imagination.

Madam Tul’rouse enters, “...large and old - with a dress that was so pressed and crisp that Celaena thought that the woman could have passed for a board of wood. Her posture was impeccable and her movements were so graceful that it made her width decrease.”

I’m not sure what that means, but okay.

“Welcome, ladies,” [Madam Tul’rouse] said with a smile that displayed her dazzling white teeth. “I am madam Tul’rouse, your professional advisor and educator on the art of court etiquette and beauty.”

Celaena wasn’t sure if she considered court etiquette an art, but she kept her mouth shut and tried to act interested.

This is a woman who eventually wants to rule a kingdom, and she thinks court etiquette isn’t an art. Honestly this is a problem with more things than just Queen of Glass or Throne of Glass (because it’s in there too until the court etiquette is all about how to make Celaena happy) but I happen to be talking about these two works right now.

Anyway, Tul’rouse informs them that she is going to eliminate ten of them right away on the basis of looks, which is quite frankly stupid: however YA wants to sell us on the idea that there is one ideal beautiful woman, in the real world plenty of people have different tastes even if there is a conventional beauty standard.

Also, I’m tired of how attractive the main character is to men being the most important thing about them.

Tul’rouse starts walking down the aisle, saying yes or no with barely any consideration. Kaltain is a yes. The girl sitting beside Celaena is a no.

The woman had scarcely looked at Celaena before she exclaimed, “Exquisite!” and smiled at the assassin, turning to Elise [her assistant] to say, “Yes.”

Celaena comments after the nos leave that when the other yeses (though one appears to be missing) look at her, “she could see the layers of makeup they had put on”. Go suck on a cactus, Celaena.

Anyway she introduces herself as Lithaen Gordaina, to which Tul’rouse replies, “A beautiful name for a beautiful lady.”

Kaltain glares at her, and Celaena calls her a bitch in her mind. I legitimately hate the word, but that’s a personal thing. In the published version there isn’t quite as much praise for Celaena’s beauty, but there is exactly this amount of girl hate. Granted, in the published version they hate each other because of a boy and here they hate each other because they appear to be the other’s best competition for a job, so idk.

Though I guess technically Kaltain sees Celaena as competition for the job of queen in the published version? IDK.

Celaena felt anger boil in her stomach, and she reigned in her temper and desire to lash out and snap the woman’s neck in half - which she could have done with ease.

Slow your roll, Celaena, she glared at you. Also, promises, promises. Also, incorrect form of reign vs rein direct from story.

Kaltain’s name in this is Kaltain R’ompier. Celaena thinks about what a pretentious name it is. The quote:

[Kaltain’s] name was just as pompous as her attitude.

Sure, Celaena Sardothien aka Aelin Ashryver Galathynius aka Elentiya aka Lillian/Lithaen Gordaina, Kaltain has the pretentious names and the pompous personality. I do side-eye the apostrophe, in fairness.

Tul’rouse goes on to note, amongst some bullshit about never letting on that you know you’re beautiful, that “One’s reputation among the low is almost as important as one’s reputation amongst the high.”

Celaena fought to keep a straight face.

What utter nonsense! Do ladies actually think like this?

At least Celaena’s habit of occasionally paying lip service to the trodden-down while not actually caring about them at all remains constant here and in the published version.

Tul’rouse keeps talking about propriety. Celaena continues to be a hypocrite, re: clothing standards. Tul’rouse tells them their schedule and lets them go.

Kaltain tries to make conversation. Celaena tries to leave. Kaltain catches up and continues making conversation as if Celaena hadn’t been rude, because Kaltain has apparently payed attention to the court etiquette lessons.

She also tries to bond (while scoping out the competition and checking into Celaena’s story), especially once Celaena gives her the cover story about being a merchant’s daughter. Kaltain is also a merchant’s daughter, it turns out, and so she was shocked when Perringtonn talked to her and then told her about this competition.

Of course we get sexism regarding women doing ‘men’s jobs’ and then over the top racism about people from Wendlynn drinking children’s blood when they run out of milk.

Celaena tells her that Wendlynn is actually great and that they don’t eat blood with their morning toast.

To be honest, I kind of appreciate this even if it’s suuuuper heavy-handed. If the author had some more subtle bigotry here and used it to show that Celaena is not only Not Awful, but also has more info about the customs and day-to-day routines of Wendlynn since her mother was from there, this would be a good scene.

Anyway, Celaena extricates herself and runs into Chaol, who walks her back to her room arm-in-arm. Celaena is irritated that the other women are looking Chaol over:

It made her feel sick with disgust to see how they regarded him as little more than chattel - a possible accessory for their fine gowns and jewels.

Presented without further comment.

Celaena hates all the other women and says so, and when Chaol tells her that Perringtonn is infatuated with Kaltain says that any child Kaltain and Perringtonn had would “probably have to be strangled in the cradle to save this world from their foul presence.”

She says it out loud, just for that touch of light-in-the-darkness class.

Also Kaltain has small rooms with tiny windows and no balcony because she hit on Dorian and Dorian decided he didn’t like it. Chaol and Celaena think it’s hilarious.

Chaol leaves Celaena in her rooms.

Calling for her servants to undress her, Celaena was still smiling by the time she slipped into a well-needed, hot bath.

Comma abuse direct from story. I note that Celaena has gotten used to the servants pretty quickly, which could have been used to cue us in about secret royal childhood.

End chapter.

[natalie-larsen]

practice challenge two

my writing sucks, but here it is anyways. sorry i haven’t been active i have schools and finals are coming up. i wrote this once and it sucked and made no sense so i had to rewrite it again today. i haven’t read it over so mistakes will be there. yeah that’s all. 

word count 1591

Due to me becoming a selected, the media presences has been a bit much. The Principal of my University has come to the conclusion that going home would be safer for everyone. So here I am standing outside the palace car, with all my bags saying goodbye to my favorite people.

Lola squeezes me tight, “don’t miss us too much!”

I laugh squeezing her back, “I’ll miss you way too much.”

She lets go, “have some much fun, keep us updated!”

“Don’t worry, I will,” I smile at her and walk over to Hattie, “ah,” I give her a big hug, “I’m going to miss you.”

“No, you won’t.” She says sarcastically in my ear.

“I will and you know it.” we let go of each other and look up at her, “if anything happens between you and Garrett notify me right away!”

She chuckles, “of course.” I walk over to the Matt and Garrett and give them each a hug, both telling me if the prince treats me wrong they will be the first to yell at him. Then I walk over to Adrian who looks sad.

“It’ll be okay, you still have them,” I say rubbing his arm.

“But they aren’t like you.” He says with a slight frown.

I curl my lips in thinking, “just text me if you need anything.” I smile up at him and pull him in for a hug, he just holds me for a while. I let go and turn to the rest of the group and give one last wave and get into the car. I look down at my phone

Adrian: I miss you

My two year old nephew, Oden and I are hiding in the pillow fort that we just made. “What color is that?” I ask pointing to the square in the book.

“Yellow!” He says looking up at me with a smile.

I smile back down, “good, what about this on-” I start to ask when my brother walks into the room.

“Nat, have you seen the news recently?” my brother, Eli, asks with an unreadable expression.

“No… not really. Why?”

“You might want to,” he says pointing to the living room. I stand up taking Oden with me to the other room. I first see Prince Benjamin’s name, but then I see the picture. He’s kissing someone, and just days before I leave. My moods just falls.

I squint my eyes trying to see if I miss seeing what is in front of me. “That can’t be him…” I say slowly, shock in my voice. I turn around to see my father looking very disappointed in his chair, giving me a very sincere look. I look back towards the screen, “it could easily be an old picture and someone’s just trying to start drama, right?”

“I could be, but who knows.” Eli says shrugging. I set Oden on the floor next to some toys, and walk confused back to my room. Start scrolling through multiple different apps trying to find something that says this is all fake, just a setup. But nothing. I lay on back on my bed, resting my phone down next to me and stare at the ceiling. Does he already have a thing with this girl Rosie? How long have they known each other, or had they just met? Does he even want the selection to happen? Am I just going there to be sent right back home? I’m brought out of my thoughts when I feel a buzzing next to me.

Adrian: Did you see

Me: Yeah

Adrian: Sorry

Me: It’s not like he’s kissing you

Adrian: Are you still going to go

Me: Well yeah

Me: Why wouldn’t I

Adrian: Idk hoping you changed your mind

Me: I’m still going to give him a chance

Me: People make mistakes

Adrian: I think he did more than make a mistake here

Me: It’s whatever I can always ask him about it

Me: Well obviously later on

Adrian: You would

Adrian: I miss you

Me: I miss you guys too

Adrian: It’s boring here

Adrian: It’s quiet

Me: So much is going on here. People are everywhere all the time

We drive up to the city square and see hundreds of people waiting for me, all cheering. I look out at the crowd and turn back around at my father with a worried look. He nods, letting me know that it’s okay. I open the door and see the mayor there waiting for me. The next thing I know is I’m at the airport introducing myself to the other girls.

“I guess introductions are in order. I'm Amalia!” says the brunette next to me.

“I’m Natalie.”

“Aria, from Columbia.” says the texting blonde in front of me. “Who of you is from Likely?” I raise my hand, “lucky, you didn’t have to be in a car too long.” She chuckles.

“I just hope the plane ride is short. I may or may not have a small fear of flying.” Amalia says.

I lightly chuckle, “oh don’t worry, Angeles isn’t far at all. It’s like two hours tops.” I say trying to somewhat comfort her. We keep talking as we board and take off about the places we’ve traveled, our fears and favorite carnival rides. When I wanted to get their thoughts on something that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. I look over quickly to them, “so, I’ve been dying to ask you guys. What do you think of the whole kiss thing?” Aria gave off a look a couldn’t quite place.

“I have a feeling it was pretty spur of the moment. I mean being the Prince must be pretty stressful. Maybe he just broke.” Amalia says.

“Maybe,” I quickly look towards the window biting my nail. I really hope it was.

“What do you think of it?”

“I don’t really know. I was kinda more shocked and confused.” I didn’t know what I thought of it. If it had happened before the selected were announced it would’ve been fine, but since we were already picked I felt unsure. I just didn’t expect that from him.

“Every magazine is going to give it its own spin so....There’s no real way to understand it from what they’re going to say.” Aria pauses, “it’s probably someone he didn’t even know…” she pauses again, thinking, “and he was drunk. I mean, probably.” nervous chuckle, “just a guess. We can’t really know…” she stops talking and starts to look at something in her bag. She knows something that we don’t.

I give her a strange look, “yeah, you’re probably right.” I lean back in my seat thinking.

We arrive at the palace, from what I could see before quickly being rushed into a room of people just running around with the strong scent of hairspray everywhere the palace was beautiful and could easily get used to it. I look around the room and see so many familiar faces, Glimmer Starr, Stella Carrington and Celaena Abbot. I kinda just stand there watching everyone before I am thrown into the crowd. “Over here, darling!” A maid tells me waving me over to her. I walk over to her, “you are so gorgeous, I know exactly what look we should go for.” She says has three more girls all join her in doing my hair, nails, makeup before they throw me into a navy gingham two piece dress.

We are quickly given a tour of the palace, but we can later adventure on our own. We make it to the second floor where are rooms are all located. Mine is the closest to the stairs, which is really convenient, but maybe not when I hear all the girls chatting walking down them. I start walking towards my door when I get distracted by the piece of art next to it when I feel a sudden pain hit my face. I reach up to touch my face, “ow.”

The brunette next to me moves the door, “oh my god, are you okay?”

I nod removing my hand, “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Well, I didn’t get hit by a door, so yes.”

I let out an awkward chuckle, “true. Sorry I was in your way anyway.”

She responds with her own awkward laugh, “I feel so bad.”

“It’s totally okay, I’m Natalie by the way,” I say with a small smile on my face.

The girl offers her hand, “Raven, so” she gives me a look over, “a two?”

I take her hand a give a quick nod, “yeah, and you?” I really dislike it when people call me a two, I’m not like the rest of them. My parents just have two level jobs. It’s not like I dislike my caste, it’s just that I dislike what people amuse of me. ‘Oh look, there goes another two, thinking the world owes her’

Raven slightly hesitates, “a five, actually”

“So, what do you do?” I ask curiously.

“Singer. I play some instruments too.” she rubs arm, “You?”

“I'm currently studying to be a pediatrician.” I curl my lips in, because people always react oddly.

“A doctor?” she raises her eyebrows.

I give a small nod, “yes.”

She seems slightly confused about it, “how’s that working out for you?”

“Really good. I love it” I respond.

“Hey, do you want to hang out in the Women's Room?”

“Totally, but maybe tomorrow. Today's been a bit crazy.”

Maybe this whole thing won’t be so bad.

[tmiquotepage]

11 Questions

Rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own, tag 11 people.

Thank you, @randomfinny​ for tagging me!

1. If you could have the life of a fictional character for a year, whose life would you choose?

FUCK I HATE THESE KINDS OF QUESTIONS. So.... I’m gonna be a nerd and say one of my own characters because I know what their lives are like for the next year or so. Intimately. But even then, I’m stuck between choosing Melinda Dormer (Time Catchers) and Willow Danson (The Dynagyn Chronicles). I think I”m going to go with Will because Lindy’s life is pretty much downhill for the foreseeable future. Will’s is terrible and has issues, but she’s got magic powers and a level head, so I think she’ll be able to handle it more. I will. Am I my own mind in these characters’ lives, or am I just an observer as they make decisions and live? (God I’m maing this so complicated. Lol)

2. If you had to listen to one song on a loop for three hours right now, what song would you choose?

I Will Never Die  by Delta Rae!

3. Favourite ice-cream flavour?

I generally dislike ice cream, but I do love birthday cake flavor. Sometimes. In small amounts.

4. Do you prefer watching movies/tv shows/cartoons/animes/etc. in silence or do you like commenting on them?

TV! Like, I’m a tv writer by profession, so I get TV writing more. On that note, whenever I’m watching TV, I always do live CinemaSins-style comments and miss important things and have to go back and watch them again... So yeah, watching any kind of TV or film with me is insuffereable because I”m the film stdent, the filmmaker watching and picking things apart.

5. Weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

This is so hard to qualify. As a writer, most of my stories have come from dreams, so that’s hard to say. I write some weird shit. But the weirdest dream ever... Um... Maybe the time that I dreamed Ian Somerhalder was my brother (because I was abandoned as a child and then adopted by my family) and I went to visit him on set at Vampire Diaries and he got so mad because my real family hadn’t abandoned me, I’d been kidnapped, and so he decided to take me back and adopt me and become my best friend and then there were spies involved and I ended up killing somone. It was like brother-sister spy stuff with James Bond-level gadgets and action. It was weird. But to this day, I still call Ian Somerhalder my brother as an inside joke with my family and closest friends.

6. If you had to spend an afternoon with the main character of the last book you’ve read, how would you spend it?

Okay, so I’ve been rereading Throne of Glass, but I don’t know if rereads count. If they do, technically the main haracer or the book I was reading was Celaena Sardothien, so I’d spend my day with her fighting and training probably. Talking about reading while trying to stab each other with knives.

If we’re not including rereads, the main character of the last book I read was Laia from A Torch Against the Night, in which case, I’m not sure how I’d spend the day. Probably telling her not to bother falling in love with anybody that surrounds her because I don’t like any of the characters in this series for her. None are worthy. But also, I’d probably slap her and tell her she doesn’t have to do everything herself. IDK. Maybe I’d just wrap her in a blanket and take her away from this world that doesn’t deserve her.

7. If you could write an episode for any tv show (running or already cancelled), which tv show would you write for?

Eyyyyyy my kind of question! Okay, so I have written episodes for TV before (spec episodes, never produced), so I’m a little biased. I’ve written one for Pretty Little Liars. I have an episode of Shadowhunters that I worte (I’d love to be in that writer’s room, but I also heard that the showrunners don’t respect the women in the room nearly enough and pretty much dictate the way they write their episodes, so idk about that). I love the show Stitchers, so that’s be a cool assignment. Of course, none of my shows have been picked up yet, so I can’t say any of those. I’m also writing my own version of the Thone of Glass tv show pilot, but that’s fan fiction. It’s different. I think, if I had to choose, I’d say Once Upon a Time (but in a world where I could keep the old characters and plot, not this new reboot BS) OR an episode of Castle. That was my all-time favorite.

8. If you could have the home of any fictional character, whose home would you want to have?

Another fucking impossible question. Um... I’m going to avoid saying any of my characters (even though I loooooove Lindy’s loft in Time Catchers and J.D.’s house in the woods in Deep Six) and say probably Feyre’s in A Court of Mist and Fury/A Court of  Wings and Ruin. All of her houses. The House of Wind, the townhouse in Velaris. Anywhere where Rhysand is in my bed when I come home....

9. Last tv show, movie or book that you’ve discovered through tumblr?

Through tumblr? Maybe Jessica Jones. I don’t normally find TV shows through tumblr anymore. 

10. Sightseeing or hiking?

I have been fat all my life, so I am going to be lazy and say sightseeing. 

11. If I gave you a little chicken (I don’t know why I would, but let’s just go with it), how would you name it?

I would name him Heihei. I’m a sucker for Moana and that name was the first to come to mind. I had a friend who named her chicken “Duck.” He was adorable, and I might consider doing that, but I think I would ultimately end up with Heihei. 

Tagging just a few friends because this was FUN! @gryffindor819 @vampirchen96 @myfandomtopia @canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit @thenearsightedfeminist @amoraeternusforyou @red-queen-em-for-a-dream @clumsybutawesomefangirl

For you, my loves, the questions are: 

1. What was your first fandom, how old were you when you joined, and what drew you in to it? (Yes that’s all one question!)

2. What is one line/section of a novel or other literary work that you can remember changing you in some significant way?

3. What TV show have you heard is the absolute best, but either haven’t gotten around to watching it, or you have and were throughly unimpressed?

4. Biggest book series/tv series finale dissappointment?

5. What’s your favorite trope in fiction?

6. Do you read with absolute silence around you, or with a lot of noise?

7. What is your dream career?

8. Favorite female filmmaker!

9. What’s a movie you absolutely love that everyone else hates/is indifferent to?

10. What book series/tv series do you wish more people watched/knew about?

11. Top 5 most underrated young adult actors you can think of!