#I might start saying it other other way de vez en cuando

[wrought-tweaks]

BRO WUT. IT'S SHORT FOR PREVIOUS. SO I SAY THE PRE AS IT WOULD BE SAID IN PREVIOUS.

/ˈprēvēəs/

RIGHT!?!? PREEEEEEEEE

though new spelling means new pronunciation so if it were just "prev" outside of the existence of previous, it would be a short e

...

what

[spanishskulduggery]

Hi! I'm studying B1.2/B2 level Spanish and I want to learn * words to express things more*...(recently I learned,, conectores del discurso,, and some ,,frases hechas,,)

I'm sorry if you already posted something like this, I'm a new follower and I just saw that you have this account since 2013! (P.S.between it's hard for me to study words for any language; I have to write 1 word 10 times to memorize it,and others just read it once)

Have a great day!🌸

So I'm going to attach some of the (what I call) academic connectors. They're just words that I find really helpful for explaining things or especially in oral exams or written exams to sound more coherent and link your sentences together.

I suppose the more correct term is something like particles of speech or something along those lines, but they're the kinds of phrases you will want to know if you have any intention of writing in Spanish and especially if it's in an academic setting:

de hecho = in fact, as a matter of fact

no obstante = nevertheless, regardless

de todas formas = in any event, regardless

sin embargo = however, nevertheless

con respecto a (algo/alguien) = regarding (something/someone), with regards to (something/someone)

en cuanto a (algo/alguien) = regarding, with regards to

por lo general = in general generalmente/normalmente = generally / normally

mayormente = for the most part, mostly, mainly en su mayoría = mainly, in its majority, for the most part

en realidad = actually, in reality

actualmente = currently, nowadays hoy en día = currently, nowadays, today

antiguamente = formerly, in the past, previously

por lo tanto = therefore, as such

a su paso = “in its wake”, “in its path”

a medida que = "as", "while (something is/was happening)"

ya que... = since, given that...

así = like that, that way

así que... = so..., that being the case...

pues... = then / since..., that being the case...

entonces = then [in a sequence of events] / then, consequently

por consiguiente / consiguientemente = consequently, as a consequence

de una vez = for once de una vez por todas = once and for all

por enésima vez = "for the umpteenth time", "for the hundredth/millionth time" [hyperbolic]

al principio = in the beginning, at the start

al fin = at the end, in the end, at last, finally

lo primero es lo primero = “first things first”

por último, finalmente = lastly, finally, ultimately

dicho eso... = that being said...

susodicho/a = aforementioned

de antemano = beforehand

a lo largo de (periodo de tiempo) = throughout (time period)

durante = during / for

últimamente = lately, recently

según (algo/alguien) = according to (something/someone) / as per

de acuerdo con (algo) = as per (something), in accordance with

por lo visto = apparently, "it would seem..."

desde luego (que) = of course, surely

en absoluto = absolutely not, in no way

a pesar de (algo/alguien) = despite, in spite of (something/someone) pese a (algo/alguien), despite, in spite of (something/someone)

a partir de = starting (at a point), since, from a partir de hoy = starting today, from today on a partir de aquí = from here on out a partir de ahora = starting now, from now on a partir de entonces = from that point on, from then on a partir de mañana = as of tomorrow, starting tomorrow

de ahora/hoy en adelante = from now on, from this point on

en tal caso... = in that case...

por defecto = by default

principalmente = for the most part, mainly, mostly

además = furthermore, in addition

por casualidad = by chance, coincidentally

al azar = at random, randomly

al menos / por lo menos = at least

al contrario = on the contrary

por el contrario = by contrast

en cambio = in contrast, by contrast, conversely

al revés = upside-down, inside-out, topsy-turvy

(todo) patas arriba = “upside-down”, “everything in chaos”, “turned on its ear/head”

de igual manera = in the same way de igual forma = in the same way del mismo modo = in the same way igualmente = likewise, in the same way

de manera diferente = differently de otra manera = differently, in a different way de otro modo = differently

tal y como = just like, exactly tal y como es = exactly how it is

de/en cierto modo = in some way / in a sense de cierta manera = in some way / in a sense

en algún sentido = in a sense en cierto sentido = in a sense

de una manera u otra = one way or another de una forma u otra = one way or another

apenas = hardly, barely a duras penas = hardly, barely

a secas = plainly, simply

en lugar de, en vez de = instead (of) [you’d phrase this as en lugar de algo “instead of something”, or en su lugar “in its stead” or “in its place”; it takes some getting used to]

por accidente, accidentalmente = accidentally, by mistake

todavía = still

de vez en cuando = “from time to time”

a la vez = at the same time, simultaneously

en promedio, como media = on average

por las buenas = “the easy way”

por las malas = “the hard way”

de corto plazo = short-term

de largo plazo = long-term

a cambio (de) = in exchange (for)

a propósito = on purpose, not an accident

por cierto = by the way

a/en todos los efectos = for all intents and purposes en todo sentido = for all intents and purposes

mientras tanto = meanwhile

hasta = until, up to / even, including hasta que + subjuntivo = until (something happens; subjunctive)

incluso = even, including

al pie de la letra = “to a T”, exactly, precisely, “by the book” tomar al pie de la letra = to be very precise and methodical

(tomar algo) a la ligera = (to take something) lightly

por dondequiera / por doquier = “everywhere”, “every which way”, “all over the place”

de cabo a rabo = completely, through and through

al fin y al cabo = “at the end of the day”

por (el) otro lado = “on the other hand”

que yo sepa = as far as I know que tú sepas = as far as you know que nosotros sepamos = as far as we know [follows conjugation rules for subjunctive saber]

es decir (que)... = that is to say..., in other words...

o sea... = in other words...

And obviously por and para which are their own issue but they come up a lot. Which is understandable but they’re a big hurdle even for people in the C levels

There are others that are better understood with examples because it’s not enough to just write it. So:

aun vs. aún -aun with no accent is “even” and is synonymous with hasta or incluso -aún with the accent is “yet” and is synonymous with todavía

o sea -The expression o sea is used as “in other words”; do not confuse it with óseo/a which is “osseous” or “bone-related”, an adjectival form of hueso “bone”. Some people do write it as one word “osea” but it really should be separate... and sea is technically subjunctive ser

certain expressions with femenino de indeterminación -a solas “one-on-one” or “privately” -a sabiendas “knowing full well” -a ciegas “blindly” or “in the dark” -a escondidas “secretly”  And many others, some of which were in the longer vocab list above

subjunctive phrases [use with care] -There are many phrases with subjunctive that you eventually need to know and they can be helpful in essays, though again this is its own topic. Things like para que “so that (something will happen)” or con tal (de) que “as long as (something happens)” are sort of subjunctive phrases of unmet conditions... things like “unless” or “until” things happen are subjunctive in many cases. Some like aunque become “although” with indicative and “even though / even if” in subjunctive... I say use with care because this is more of a functional vocab list not a grammar lesson.

solo, sólo, y solamente -solo/a as an adjective means “only/single/a single person” or it means “alone” -solo as an adverb is synonymous with sólo. The accent mark there is a vocal inflection so it’s like “ONLY”. You use either as “only” or “just”. Since it’s an adverb, solo will not change for gender/plural -solamente is “solely” and is synonymous with solo/sólo

pero vs. sino -pero is “but” when you’re changing the topic or providing different information; no es de Alemania pero habla alemán “he’s not German but he speaks German” -sino is “but rather” when you’re correcting someone’s statement; no es alemán sino francés “he’s not German (but rather), he’s French”

I would also say it’s worth understanding how ya works because it’s got a lot of uses

I’m also going to attach some links to my tags that will help you navigate and find more of what you might be interested in:

Vocabulary

Idiomatic Expressions (especially the older entries tend to be more universal; the newer ones are expressions I tend to find and am interested in sharing so if you go into my archive and look for the tag “idiomatic expressions” or “expresiones idiomaticas”

Grammar ...which is probably not what you need right at this moment, but in case you want to peruse my stuff on different grammatical concepts I have everything from present tense to imperfect subjunctive

[sapphirewolf1122]

¡¿Por Qué Eres tan Flaco?! (Why Are You So Skinny)

Request/Summary: Fatgum/Reader fic where Reader owns a Latin restaurant that Fatgum frequents and reader sees him in skinny form and pretty much yanks him into her restaurant and holds him captive at a table that she fills with food for him and she pretty much mother hens him and by the end of it he's just like "marry me"

Word Count: 1,268

A/N: So this was a request by @gemstoneconstellations that I finally got around to; sorry for the long wait, hermana. Thank you to @crazythypoon for helping me with the translation, as well as your patience and encouragement. Also, this takes place in the Vigilante timeline; idk why I chose to do that, it just felt right. 

~~~~~~~~

Propping open your restaurant door, you started setting up the sign that listed your special of the day. Today, you were offering pernil relleno con mofongo with a choice of either maduros or arroz con gandules for a side. 

When you’d first decided to move to Japan and open a borinquen restaurant, most of your family had had their doubts and strongly discouraged you. Even you half-expected to be returning home after barely a year with your tail between your legs. But the response had been a lot better than anybody thought it could be; it helped that you had no problems learning the language. You had to admit though, your success wouldn’t have been half as great if it weren’t for your star customer. 

Right now, you were working on getting your liquor license. When it came time for the holidays this year, you wanted to be able to sell some coquito. You were even looking into getting some moonshine from home...God, you missed Puerto Rican moonshine. 

You also had some recipes you wanted to try out, but those you would run by your favorite customer. He’s been your biggest supporter since coming here and you liked to test dishes on him. But you hadn’t seen him in a while…

As a hero, it wasn’t abnormal for Fat Gum to seemingly disappear for days at a time. But you still worry, him being the brawler that he is. Last you heard, he was helping with some sort of investigation. Something about the instant-villain drug that had been circulating recently.

Sighing, you stood outside your shop, hands on your hips. Scanning the crowd, you started wondering whether to send out the cart today. The weather was good for it. Plus, it might be a good way to check up on Fat...ugh, perhaps you were obsessing too much. It’s not like you were his girlfriend…

Shaking your head at yourself, you turned to go back inside and tell your employees to prep the cart but the sight of someone stopped you.

Walking towards the shop was a man covered in bandages in a yellow hoodie, reminiscent of Fat Gum’s; it even had the signature black F and G on the bottom. In fact, with the mask, hair color, and the fact that he was currently munching on takoyaki, you almost thought it was Fat. 

Except he was too skinny. Everyone knew that Fat Gum’s quirk was fat absorption, so he had to keep his body fat percentage high. This also meant he had a pretty big appetite. The amount of times he had caused you to sell out from just a single visit…

Yes, there was no way this was Fat...he would have had to expel a great deal of energy in order to reveal his skinny form...but he was known to be a brawler…

The man had caught sight of you and, with a large smile, waved at you. Your eyes widened in horror.

Before you knew what was happening, you were running towards the hero, yelling at the top of your lungs.

"¡¿Que carajaro le paso a tu goldura bello! ¡¿Quien te hizo esto?! ¡Estas tan desperdiciado! Como pudiste ser tan inconsiderado de ti mismo. Tenias que venir directo a donde mi, te hubiera volvido a tu ser usual en menos nada! Esto es lo que te pasa cuando te pones a peliar en vez de defender, idiota. Ven te voy a dar tanta comida que nunca mas vas a poder volver flaco otra vez! Como pudiste dejar que esto pasara... " 

As you approached, Fat froze, out of shock or fear, you weren’t sure. “___, you okay? I can’t understand you, you’re not speaking Japanese. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you using your quirk?”

Your quirk was languages. After listening to a native speaker only a few times, you were able to speak the language perfectly yourself. It’s how you managed to get by in a whole new country. But when you got angry, you lost control and reverted to your own native language.

Once you’d reached the hero, you started inspecting him, poking at the large hoodie. Not a bit of fat left...in fact it was all muscle...shaking your head, you glared up at Fat Gum, momentarily regaining control of your quirk. “What happened?”

He shrugged, which only infuriated you more. “I told you I had a mission and the situation called for the full extent of my quirk. And before you say anything about brawling, there was a bomb; I had to absorb the explosion before people got hurt.”

The next part came out with a chuckle. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard your accent so thickly before…your quirk normally masks it so well.”

Scowling, you replied, “That’s because you’ve never seen me angry before. ¡Vamos!”

With that, you grabbed him and started dragging him into your restaurant, grumbling the whole time.

"Idiota, te tienes que cuidar mas. ¡¿Y si un villano te encuentra asi! AHH!?, estarias indefenso ."

You ignored the bystanders gaping at you; they seemed to know better than to interfere though. There was something about an angry boricua that made others cringe in fear. Even Fat Gum accepted what was happening and stopped struggling. 

Once inside, you started barking orders at your employees. 

“Start preparing everything on the menu. And I mean everything! I want alcapurrias, todas las empanadas, sorullitos, emparedados, bacalaitos, tostones, las entradas y postres también! ¡Ahora!”

Knowing better than to argue with you, your staff got to it. Placing Fat Gum at a table in the back, you told him to stay, whether in Japanese or Spanish, you weren’t sure. But he seemed to get the message. With a stern nod, you waved one of your waiters over to get his drink order. While they did that, you went and closed the door, locking it. No one was coming in until you got this sorted. 

With that, you rushed into the kitchen, putting up your hair and grabbing your apron. You were going to make sure your gordo precioso was going to get the best there was out of this restaurant. 

You served him all of his favorites and more. You started with the aperitivos, then onto las entradas. You swelled with pride at the look on his face when you brought out the pernil relleno con mofongo. This wasn’t a special you served normally. You also went all out with arroz con gandules and arroz amarillo con habichuelas. 

After that, you moved onto desserts. Guava cakes, bizcocho de batata borinquen, flan in almost every flavor, tembleque, arroz con coco; even guava empanadas. 

It was hours before you finally stopped bringing out food. Watching as he finished the last of the desserts, you nodded in approval. He was finally looking like his proper self. 

“Feeling better, Fat Gum?” Though still kind of thick, your accent had lessened considerably now that you’d managed to regain full control of your quirk.

The BMI hero looked up at you, his usual large grin back on his face. “Greatly. And please ___, call me Taishiro, even Toshi.”

Your mouth dropped open. “B-but I thought first names were reserved for those close to you in Japanese culture. Forget nicknames.”

“Yes. And you have definitely earned that right. In fact, ___,  I have a very important question to ask you.” The grin suddenly disappeared from his face as he stood up, towering over you. But you didn’t have time to process the look before he suddenly dropped to one knee, his big hands grabbing hold of one of yours, practically making it disappear. .

“Will you marry me?”

Wait...what?!

~~~~~~~

A/N2: Please note that I though I was able to do the foods and such on my own, I had help with the large translations. Here are the English translations as I originally wrote them; the foods you can either ask me or Google. 

-  What the hell happened to your beautiful fat? Who did this to you?! You look wasted away! How could you be so reckless?! You should have come straight to me, I would have gotten you back to your normal self in no time...this is what you get for being a brawler...you’re coming with me, you idiot. I’m going to feed you and make it so you’ll never be skinny again. That you could let such a thing happen…

-  Idiot, you need to take care of yourself. What if a villain caught you like this, huh? You’d be defenseless…

Thank you for reading!

[angrypixie-sarisa]

Just friends

Piedras rodantes pt.21

Sam xMexican!Witch!fem!readerx Dean (polyamorous)

Summary: ever since the trip to San Salvador, Dean has been thrilled with the extenses of your magic, making you feel quite burned out. That and also combined with the fact that Crowley got something brewing up. And to top it all up, we have some delicate jealousy. All to make the perfect disaster, altough something might be missing, or rather someone.

“Hey! We should go to Guadalajara.” 

You sighed and placed the knife you were holding down besides the cutting board that presented some cucumber and jicama already cut in long skinny pieces. You turned around to watch Dean enter your kitchen from your supplies closet. You never thought he'd be the one insisting in using this magical shortcuts but boy, you were wrong.

"Again? What do you want from Guadalajara now? We've just went a month ago."

"Exactly, it's been a month, it's too long."

You rolled your eyes and went back to place your vegetables in a bowl and prepping them with chile en polvo and chamoy, whilst murmuring "not long enough". 

Just as you were going to bring him back to earth, his cellphone rang. You closed your eyes and let your head fall back to your shoulders, you took a deep breath and whispered a thank you to whoever had blessed you with the interruption. 

“I gotta go.” His voice sounded closer than before. His finger tapped you in the arm, bringing you back to reality. 

“See ya.” He said before placing a kiss in your cheek. Act that left you astonished, but he didn’t have the chance to see it, because he quickly went back to the place he had come from. 

You sighed and closed sloppily the portal. You placed your hand on your left elbow, your hunger already replaced by nausea. You took the bowl filled with your snack and placed it in the fridge for later. Then you messaged Diego to open a portal for you, which he did gladly. 

He was waiting for you at the other side, reaching for you as soon as you stepped through the veil and into his room. He hugged you and placed a kiss at your temple. It seemed that it was something that had been repeating itself. 

“Cuidado.” You whispered. 

He let you go and watched your figure go as you made yourself comfortable in his bed. He studied your aura, your energy’s radius was short and it seemed that a greyish green was taking over all the colors surrounding you. 

He closed the portal and went to take out his pipe and weed. 

“What happened? You’re always real careful not to overwork yourself.” He prepped one pipe and went to prep the next one. 

“Tengo un corazón muy estupidamente grande.” You groaned onto his pillow. 

“¿Sí? ¿Por qué es eso?” He sat next to you, waiting for you to sit as well, before handing you one of the pipes and lighting it up. 

You took a drag, before answering. “Tal vez, sólo tal vez, I’ve been opening too many portals this past months.” 

“Months?!” 

You shrugged, letting the smoke out. “He’d never seen the beach or another country. He has never experienced something else than hunting.”

“You did this for him? Just him?”

“I suggested I’d plan for them a family trip but he reclined it.” 

“Selfish.”

“Mucho.” In unison, both of you took another drag and let out once again the smoke from your mouths. 

“Just today he came to me, asking if I wanted to go to Guadalajara.”

“Did you turn him down?”

“Didn’t get a chance. Lisa saved me, I guess.” You placed your head on his shoulder and he patted it softly. 

“Ay niña.”

You sighed. “Ya sé; tendré que hablar con él… Cuando no me duela el brazo.” You took in a deep breath, coughing a little bit at the tingle in your lungs. 

“¿Y tú? Me saludaste muy amoroso cuando entré.”

You both waited to finish smoking so the conversation would flow easier. 

“Te extrañaba.” He took your hand in his, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. 

“¿Y?”

“Tyler fue a pasar el fin de semana con su familia.”

“¿Y son buenos?”

He shook his head. 

“Sí pero podrían ser mejor. Sabes son de esos que dicen que está bien pero no están dispuestos a escuchar de la relación. Except for his brothers and cousins. And I’m… I’m just a little worried for him.” 

You groaned in disapproval. 

He slipped down and turned so he would hug your waist, placing his head on your chest. You started playing with his hair, careful not to maneuver your left arm too much. 

“Don’t you feel like the energy is a little weird right now?”

“Thank you for saying that, I thought I was the only one who felt it.” You said, squinting your eyes. “It’s as if something isn’t quite in place. You know when you’re completing a puzzle and you use a piece that fits physically but in the picture it’s something completely different?”

“Yeah. It feels like that, right?”

“It feels exactly like that.” You both sighed. 

“Well, we only have to endure it.” Diego said. 

“If it were something natural we would, but it feels…”

“Supernatural?” 

You nodded as your head started to ache. Recently, you were having constant headaches and you thought that it was only the beginning of something worse. 

“Where are you going?!” Lisa called back as Dean stood underneath the doorway. 

“I need more supplies for the new job and…”

“And you thought of stopping by at Y/N’s?” She was already by his side, sweet smile on her face, even though her thoughts weren’t as sweet. 

“Yeah, why?” He asked nonchalantly, as if it was obvious. “I asked Ben if he wanted to come, but he said he wanted to hang out with his friends and you have that dinner you wanted to attend to.” 

“Right but, I wanted you to come with me.”

He frowned. That was weird, when it came to couple’s stuff usually it meant a night in, in the comfortable intimacy of their home. It wasn’t as he wasn’t excited, but she had never invited him before. 

“Oh. that’s new.”

“Yeah, is that alright?” 

He smiled affectionately at her. “Of course it’s alright.” He dragged her close to him as he kissed her sweetly on the lips. She hummed at the affection in the kiss, which made all of her insecurities drift away, for the moment. 

“You really are playing with fire here, little one.” Crowley’s voice sounded behind you. You didn’t even flinch; instead you sighed and continued spraying water to your plants. 

“And why would that be?”

“Please, don’t tell me you’re not seeing what’s happening here.”

You shrugged and placed your spritzer on the coffee table. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  You said as you went to get your cup of wine, which you left at the other side of the table. 

“Oh, come on! Another Winchester? I thought that with your friend’s warning it would be enough, but it seems you are really stubborn.”

You sighed, sitting down at your couch, kicking your feet up the coffee table. 

“It was fate, not me, okay?”

“That's the oldest cope out ever." He said as he sat beside you, crossing his arms. 

"It's not a cope out. You know better than anyone the lengths I went through so I wouldn't find him coincidentally again, you know after the shadow travel thing." 

"Yeah, I'm still mad about that." 

You glared at him. "You and I both know you cannot stay mad at me." 

He resisted the urge to shove your face in the opposite direction so he wouldn't have to endure your gaze. "Shut up." 

You giggled and hugged his arm, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Why are you so worried?" 

He sighed and tried to avoid the stiffness that wanted to take over his body. 

"I just don't want you to get hurt. And I know that if you get stuck with the Winchesters you will end up badly broken." 

You skipped a heartbeat at his words. He said Winchesters, plural not singular. He knew something that you didn't, you were sure of it. Your intuition kicked in and suddenly, the dots started to connect slowly. Something was coming and whatever it was, it was part of Crowley's plans. That's why he kept warning you over and over again to get away from Dean, he didn't want you to get in the middle of the cross-fire. 

You sighed, hugging him tighter. You always did that, but not even him could tell the difference between a tight sweet embrace and a stiff calculated one. 

"I love you, Crowley. But I'm not a child."

Your phone rang just after you ended meditating. You sighed massaging your temples before answering, thinking: Perfect timing, Dean. 

“Hi.” You said groggily. 

“Hey. Did I wake you up?” He asked, a little thrown aback, he wasn’t expecting you to be asleep so early. 

“No, I just came back from meditating, I’m a little groggy.” 

He frowned, not getting why you would come back groggy from something like that. 

“Okay, hey, Lisa and I are going out, could you watch Ben tonight? If it’s not too out of the bat.” 

You took in a deep breath. Normally you wouldn’t hesitate but recently everything just felt wrong, like nothing you did had the result you were expecting and you that you had a lack of control over the simplest things. Your intuition had a rough time ass well, the only good kick it had so far was when you were with Crowley. That demon had something boiling up and you were determined to find out, something you wouldn’t ever do, because you’ve never cared enough. But this time, he was really messing up with the big stuff that it had a direct effect in the whole world. And you been connected to the world, well, it affected you and your coven in an awful lot of way. 

“Or do you have plans tonight?” He asked. You had no idea you had disconnected from the conversation.

“Oh, um, no, I mean I don’t have plans, I’ll gladly watch Ben.” I hope this doesn’t backfire, I already have too much in my plate. You thought. 

“Great, thanks.” you could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but giggle. 

“You’re welcome, Winchester.  But I expect something in return.” You teased. 

“Oh yeah? Like what? I ain’t helping you get rid of that creepy spider.”

“What Eugenia? She’s chill, she helps me not get bitten by mosquitoes, I would never kick her out.” 

He rolled his eyes, of course you would let a creepy potentially venomous spider stay at your home. Although you would probably argue that almost all spiders, if not all, are venomous just in different dosis. 

“Alright, then how?”

He thought you would be shrugging, he had a feeling you were shrugging. “I don’t know, I’ll think of something.” 

“Y/N.” He warned you 

“What?! Maybe I’ll ask for a lift someday, you don’t know that. But I can assure you it won’t be something out of the other world. ‘kay?” 

“Fine, but I expect the right to refuse if it’s something too wild.” He saw Lisa enter the living room with a smile that faltered for a moment when she saw him on the phone. 

“Of course, I’m not that cruel. Expect me there in a minute, maybe two.”

“Alright, bye.” He hung up the phone, reaching immediately for Lisa, planting a kiss on her lips. 

“So, you were talking to Y/N?” 

“Yeah, I asked her to watch Ben, she’s already on her way.” Her breath hitched a little bit, but she managed to stay smiling and nod. 

“Great.” She fiddled with her fingers at the back of his neck. And curse him and his keen eye, because he knew something was not right. 

“Wait, what’s wrong?”

She hesitated, fiddling with her fingers a little bit more before answering. 

“I don’t like it when you spend a lot of time with her.” 

He gulped. “Okay?”

“It’s just, I feel, every time you spend too much time with her… I don’t know, it’s like you-” She bit her lip before continuing. “-like you forget about us for a moment. And it’s the tiniest moment-” She rushed as she saw him open his mouth to answer. “-but it happens. It’s not like a I don’t like her, I do, but I think we could step back a little bit. She has her own life after all. Not everything’s about friends, she could be dealing with other things too.” And it was true, she did think of that too, but that didn’t hide the fact that she was growing a little jealous. It would be a lie to say that she didn’t have a little pride for being one of the people Dean trusted in. So when she saw him open up to you as well, it was like a hit in her ego. And she knew it was ridiculous, although you would probably say that she was entitled to feeling that way. As you had said once, a little jealousy was okay, it was when it was getting out of hand that it needed to be taken care of. 

He took a deep breath in. He did had his head deep in magic since he found out of the doors. A little bit of grounding would be good for him. “Okay. I guess, uh, I got too carried away, huh?” 

She laughed, relieved to hear those words coming out of his mouth. “Just a little bit. But we…” She kissed him in one cheek, then the next, before lightly her lips to his. “...can fix that.” 

“Listen here, buddy! If you think you will win this hand…” You arched your eyebrow at Ben, who was laughing his ass off at your funny faces. He tried mimicking them once, but he just looked funny, not in the purpose of the faces but just in a failing manner. 

“...Then you’re right! Dang it!” You said, tossing your cards on the table, revealing your pathetic hand. 

“Yes! The treasure is mine!” He screamed as he claimed the m&m’s in the center of the table. 

“Alright, alright. Calmed down, Smaug. You won’t be eating those before the pizza gets here.” 

“Smaug? Pssss, what a nerd.” 

You gasped, making your most offended face ever, before smiling. “Thank you! That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Nerd.” 

“What?! I’m not a nerd.” 

“Sure, sure, let me just ask you something. How did you know Smaug’s a nerdy thing?” You saw him blush and stamer as he tried to justify his nerd ass. 

“You read the Hobbit! You’re a nerd just like me!” 

“Shut up! I had nothing to do and I already had finished all my videogames and…”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. You certainly didn’t care enough to learn the name of the characters. Oh, wait…” You laughed and he tossed candy at you, intending it to hit you, but you just made it land in your mouth and ate it. 

“Dang it! Stop it, Y/N, I want it to hit you!” 

You shrugged. “Sorry, you just have to have better aim. He, he.” And just as he was opening his mouth, the doorbell rang. “Pizza!” You both yelled. 

It was more late than they normally arrived. Ben was already asleep up in his room. You however, were reading on the couch, trying not to sneak glances at the window with every passing shadow. Now that you knew it wasn’t something specifically caused by you, like your own paranoia making you see things that weren’t there, you had a better way of thinking and analyzing the situations. 

Just as you almost complied and looked through the window angrily, you heard the lock of the front door turn. Dean and Lisa entered and you sighed in relief. Perfect timing. 

Lisa’s gaze was the first to land on you. And you perfectly saw how her smile faltered for the slightest moment. 

“Hey.” You whispered, not knowing why but you didn’t want to speak to loud. 

“Hi. Is Ben already…?” 

You nodded with a small smile. “Yeah.” She nodded with a smile like yours before telling she was going to head upstairs to her son. 

When she was upstairs, Dean came into the living room, stopping in front the couch you were at. 

“Hey.”

You arched your brow at him. “Hi?” 

“Uh, can we… Can we talk?” 

You frowned and shrugged. “Sure.” He motioned with his head towards the door, before heading there himself. You followed him, picking up your stuff as you made your way out. 

“Qué paso?” 

He scratched the back of his neck, looking at the pick up, the grass, the porch, anything but you. 

“Dean? What is it? Surely it can’t be that bad.” 

“It’s just…” He sighed, rubbing his temples. 

“Lisa’s… a little bit jealous.” Then he looked at you and your surprised face. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” You said whilst hugging yourself. It was surprising, you never thought she could get jealous, after all Dean was a friend. Just a friend. Did she think you wanted to screw up her relationship with him? 

“She just thinks we spend too much time together.” You nodded for him to continue, but that was it. He shrugged. There was nothing else to say. 

“Okay, then. So we spend less time together.” You shrugged, surely it wouldn’t affect you, that way you could get a break from the overwhelmingly use of your magic. 

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…”

You smiled, laughing to yourself as those words escaped his lips. “Ah. So you’re bothered by this.” 

“Only by the idea that she’s jealous. It’s… it’s not like we spend that much time together or that I would do anything or you for that matter.”

You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest. “I know, but we have to respect her feelings. And just make it clear that we’re…”

“Just friends.” You both said, and you couldn’t help to smile at each other. 

“Jinx, you owe me, Winchester.”

“Oh come on!” 

You shrugged as you walked away from his porch. Something told him that you were shadow traveling home. “Ni modo, mijo. ¿Pa’ qué se duerme?”

You checked your purse as u exited your home. Everything that you needed was there. You turned around and locked your door, recasting every security spell that started to wear off. You were meeting Dean at a bar, you’re meetings had become less frequent for Lisa’s sake and he had told you that it actually helped. This time in particular had been quite long since you two had hang out together so it was refreshing to see him again and hear his stupid jokes. 

Just as you were heading out, you heard a rustle near your bushes at the side of your house. You neared them cautiously. Maybe it was a cat that wasn’t Shcrödinger. But it didn’t feel like a cat. 

You were a few steps away when… “Don’t!” Impossible. You turned your head but your vision turned blurry, you could only make out a tall figure running towards you, but that voice. 

“Sammy?”

[sleepwalkcollective]

While We Were Holding It Together* // Mientras lo mantuvimos a flote*

We’ve just spent the last four weeks caught up in a kind of online RnD, with a group of collaborators - in Spain, the Czech Republic, the UK - as an attempt to re-create and re-imagine the residency we were supposed to be doing in London during this period, to develop and preview our new show Swimming Pools. It’s been weird and dreamy and long but also kind of miraculous-feeling, sometimes, the sparks of revelation and connection and closeness and even just the carrying on - despite everything - in itself. And so I thought it would be good to share a few of the things we’ve learnt while we were trying to hold it (and ourselves…) together, in the hope that this might be useful - and even encouraging - in these strange and difficult times.

I want to acknowledge first the fact that we’ve been hugely lucky, in that we were able to maintain much of the support (and funding) committed to the original residency, which is a luxury at this point although it shouldn’t be; and I also want to join the chorus of voices saying You Do Not Have To Work, not right now; not every crisis should be seen as an opportunity, and however you're finding your way through this is the right way. But for anybody who does feel able to continue, somehow, to work - or just to think, talk, imagine - maybe some of this will feel helpful.

Work collaboratively. I cannot emphasis this enough. Even if you don’t normally work collaboratively, find people who you can share this process and experience with. When working at a distance, in the middle of a crisis, it can be phenomenally difficult to maintain a coherent sense of what you’re doing while you’re actually doing it, so divide the labour where you can - appoint somebody to think without doing, so that everybody else can do without thinking. Set each other tasks, provocations, limitations; whatever will allow you to do something, however small, and to feel accompanied in that doing. And above all, make things for each other - audio messages, phone videos, texts, notes, photographs, whatever you can - and send those things to each other like they’re distress signals, love letters, secrets, dreams. Try to find a way to be with each other, hold each other, carry each other, at a distance.

Don't pretend you're rehearsing. You don't even have to think about the fact that you're making a show. If you try to treat this like a rehearsal process you will only notice the things that you’re lacking. Instead, embrace and engage with whatever forms you actually have available to you. Whatever medium you’re working in and through - if you’re working for camera, for example - don’t treat this like you’re “documenting” performance material, let it be whatever it actually is. Pretend you’re a video artist. Pretend you’re a poet. Engage with processes and technologies that you’ve never worked with before and don’t understand, and see what happens. Make a mess, and then send that mess - with love - to somebody else, and see what they can make of it. Let yourself get carried away. One day, when this is all over, you’ll find yourself back in a rehearsal room again and all these things you’ve done - however strange, tangental, aimless-seeming, un-theatrical - will speak to you.

Be excessive rather than productive. Make whatever you can think of to make, do whatever you’re able to do, but don't think about it too hard. You don’t have to understand what you're doing or why you're doing it, you don’t even have to try to yet. That can come later. Your work, in this moment, doesn't have to be productive, coherent, ”good”. That too can come later. For now just accumulate, generate baggage, pour out your thoughts and feelings, however chaotic they may be. And put it all somewhere safe, so you can come back to it later, whenever things start to make sense again.

Your work doesn’t have to “respond” to the crisis. You don't have the offer solutions, critiques, analysis, a call to arms, you don’t even have to offer comfort. Your work is whatever you want it to be, and your responsibility is to attend to whatever that is. At the same time, we have found it useful and creative to let circumstances gently shape the process in unexpected ways, and to ask questions of the particular experience and of the moment in general. We have asked ourselves: what have we lost here? And can we re-find that, somehow - can we recover a sense of intimacy, an emotional and even physical closeness - through the things we make for each other? And maybe along the way we’ll catch a trace of what this moment was but quietly, carefully, not an opinion, something smaller than that, more tangible, something real.

Keep it private, if you want to. You don’t have to create products to share instantly. You don't have to make a show for Zoom, unless making a show for Zoom feels like a natural part of the process, something that will feed it, you. For the moment you’re allowed to let whatever you’re doing stay secret and vulnerable and confused, let it get lost whenever it wants to get lost, nobody’s watching. This will all be a show one day, but it doesn't have to be a show yet.

Be good to yourself and each other. This should be obvious. Recognise, for yourself and others, that working online (or through any other remote medium) and having to articulate and share your thoughts and ideas with other people at a distance can be intense and exhausting and sometimes overwhelming. Recognise the sadness and anger and stress and grief of living through these times. Be forgiving. Allow space. Allow emotions to get in the way of the work, if they want to. If you’re setting work for others to do, make sure they have multiple options, so they can chose on any given day, and in any given moment, what they feel able to engage with, what they have energy for. And let somebody else carry the work on the days that you don’t feel able to. You have time.

Finally and more generally: support from venues and organisations right now needs to be generous, open-ended, responsive. Ask artists what they actually feel able to do right now, and how you can continue to support that. If your only response to these extraordinary times is to ask artists to create (cheap, hastily-made) Digital Content for you, all you're going to have when we eventually come out the other side of this is a bunch of iPhone “performances” that nobody's going to have any reason to watch anymore. But if you use this time to invest in and support and encourage artists in their actual creative processes - even if that's not going to give you an instant product that you can stick on your Twitter account - then when we eventually come out the other side of this what you'll have is, you know...actual shows...

Thank you to all the artists and teachers and students who we’ve spoken to over these last weeks, for helping us to articulate and understand what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. Thank you SJ and Alex for accompanying us through this. And thank you Camila, iara, Nhung, Rebeca, for the strange and beautiful adventure you've all taken me on.

Sammy (May 2020)

*The title of this post was stolen, of course, from THIS beautiful show by Ivana Müller.

ESPAÑOL:

Acabamos de pasar las últimas 4 semanas sumergidos en una especie de I+D (investigación y desarrollo) virtual, con un grupo de colaboradoras confinadas en España, la República Checa, y el Reino Unido, como intento de recreación y re-imaginación de la residencia que se suponía que debíamos estar haciendo en Londres en este período con el objetivo de desarrollar y mostrar un primer boceto de lo que será nuestro nuevo espectáculo Swimming Pools. Ha sido extraño, intenso y ensoñado, pero también algo así como milagroso, a veces: las chispas de las revelaciones y la conexión y la cercanía e incluso el simple hecho de seguir (a pesar de todo), como acción en sí misma. Y he pensado que sería bueno compartir algunas de las cosas que hemos aprendido mientras intentábamos juntos mantenerlo a todo (y a nosotros mismos...) a flote, con la esperanza de que pueda ser útil, e incluso alentador, en estos tiempos extraños y difíciles.

Me gustaría reconocer primero el hecho de que hemos sido muy afortunados, ya que pudimos mantener gran parte del apoyo, financiación y compromisos, destinados originalmente a la residencia, algo que es un lujo en este momento aunque no debería serlo; y también quiero unirme al coro de voces que dicen “No Tienes Que Ser Productivo, No Ahora Mismo ”; No todas las crisis deben verse como una oportunidad y, sea cual sea la forma en la que estás navegando esto, es la forma correcta. Pero para cualquiera que se sienta capaz de continuar, de alguna manera, trabajando o simplemente pensando, hablando, imaginando, tal vez algo de esto sea útil.

Trabaja de forma colaborativa. No puedo enfatizar esto lo suficiente. Incluso si normalmente no trabajas de forma colaborativa, busca personas con las que puedas compartir este proceso y experiencia. Cuando se trabaja a distancia, en mitad de una crisis, puede ser extraordinariamente difícil mantener un sentido coherente de lo que estás haciendo mientras lo haces, así que divide el trabajo: designa a alguien para que piense sin hacer, para que todos los demás puedan hacer sin pensar. Proponeos tareas mutuamente, provocaciones, limitaciones; lo que sea que te permita hacer algo, por pequeño que sea, y sentirte acompañado en eso. Y, sobre todo, haced cosas las unas para las otras: enviaos mensajes de audio y vídeos por teléfono, textos, notas, fotografías, todo lo que podáis, y enviadlos a modo de señales de socorro, cartas de amor, secretos, sueños, inspiraciones. Tratad de encontrar una manera de estar juntos, de sosteneros, de llevaros a cuestas unas a otras, a distancia. 

No finjáis que estáis ensayando. Ni siquiera tienes que pensar en el hecho de que estás creando un espectáculo. Si pretendes tratar esto como un proceso de ensayo, solo podrás percibir las cosas que te faltan. Trata en cambio de ser permeable, abraza y entrégate al formato y recursos que realmente están a tu disposición. Independientemente del medio en que estés trabajando (por ejemplo, si estás trabajando para la cámara) no trates esto como si estuvieras "documentando" material escénico, deja que sea lo que realmente es. Imagina que eres un cineasta. Imagina que eres un poeta. Aborda y déjate atrapar por procesos y tecnologías con las que nunca has trabajado antes y las cuales no comprendes, y observa qué sucede. Crea una chapuza y luego comparte esa chapuza, con amor, con otra persona y observa qué puede hacer con ella esa otra persona. Déjate llevar. Un día, cuando todo esto termine, volverás a encontrarte en una sala de ensayo y todas estas cosas que has hecho, por extrañas, tangenciales, aparentemente sin rumbo, poco teatrales que parezcan, te hablarán.

Sed excesivos en lugar de productivos. Haz lo que se te ocurra hacer, haz lo que puedas hacer, haz lo que sientas que quieres hacer pero no pienses demasiado en ello. No tienes que entender lo que estás haciendo ni por qué lo estás haciendo, ni siquiera tienes que empezar a intentar entenderlo todavía. Eso puede venir después. Tu trabajo, en este momento, no tiene que ser productivo, ni coherente, ni "bueno". Eso también puede venir después. Por ahora solo acumula, genera equipaje, derrama tus pensamientos y sentimientos, por caóticos que puedan ser. Y colócalo todo en un lugar seguro, para que puedas volver a todo ello más tarde, cuando las cosas empiecen a volver a tener sentido. 

Tu trabajo no tiene que "responder" a la crisis. No tienes que ofrecer soluciones, críticas, análisis, ni un llamamiento a las armas, ni siquiera tienes que ofrecer bienestar. Tu trabajo es lo que quieras que sea, y tu responsabilidad es atender y cuidar de lo que sea que es. Al mismo tiempo, hemos encontrado útil y creativo dejar que las circunstancias moldeen suavemente el proceso de maneras inesperadas, y hacer preguntas sobre la experiencia particular y el momento en general. Nos hemos preguntado: ¿qué hemos perdido? y, ¿podemos volver a encontrar eso, de alguna manera?, ¿podemos recuperar la sensación de intimidad, la cercanía emocional e incluso física, a través de las cosas que hacemos las unas para las otras? Y tal vez en el camino podamos encontrar un rastro de lo que ha sido este momento, pero de manera silenciosa, furtiva, con cuidado, no como una opinión, sino como algo más pequeño que eso, más tangible, algo real. 

Mantenlo privado, si quieres. No tienes que crear productos para compartir al instante. No tienes que hacer un show para Zoom, a menos que hacer un show para Zoom parezca una parte natural del proceso, algo que lo alimente, algo que te alimente. Por el momento, se te permite dejar que lo que sea que estás haciendo permanezca en secreto, vulnerable y confundido, y que se pierda cuando quiera perderse, nadie está observando. Todo esto será un espectáculo algún día, pero no tiene que ser un espectáculo todavía. Sé bueno contigo mismo, contigo misma, y con los y las demás. 

Esto debería ser obvio. Cuidaos. Reconoce, para ti y para los demás que trabajar online (o a través de cualquier otro medio remoto) y tener que articular y compartir tus pensamientos e ideas con otras personas a distancia puede ser intenso y agotador y, a veces, abrumador. Reconoce la tristeza, la ira, el estrés y el dolor de vivir estos tiempos. Sé indulgente. Permítete espacio. Permite que las emociones se interpongan en el camino del trabajo, si así lo desean. Si estás configurando el trabajo para que otros lo hagan, asegúrate de que tienen múltiples opciones para que puedan elegir en cualquier día y en cualquier momento, con qué se sienten capaces de participar, dónde pueden o quieren colocar la energía qué tienen entonces. Y deja que otra persona se encargue del trabajo los días que tú no te sientas capaz. Tienes tiempo.

Finalmente y como nota más general: el apoyo de los centros, organizaciones e instituciones en este momento debe ser generoso, receptivo, abierto. Preguntadles a los artistas qué se sienten capaces de hacer en este momento y mirad cómo podéis continuar apoyando eso. Si tu respuesta a estos tiempos extraordinarios es pedirles a los artistas que creen contenido digital (barato, hecho a toda prisa) para tu programa, todo lo que tendrás cuando finalmente lleguemos al otro lado de esto serán un montón de "actuaciones digitales” que ya nadie tendrá razón alguna para volver a ver. Pero si usáis este tiempo para invertir y apoyar y alentar a los artistas en sus procesos creativos reales, incluso si eso no te da un producto instantáneo que puedas colgar en tu cuenta de Instagram, entonces cuando finalmente lleguemos al otro lado de esto lo que tendrás es, ya sabes... trabajos reales.

Gracias a todos los artistas, amigos, maestros y estudiantes con quienes hemos hablado durante estas últimas semanas, por ayudarnos a articular y comprender lo que estábamos haciendo y cómo lo estábamos haciendo. Gracias SJ y Alex por acompañarnos en esto. Y gracias Camila, iara, Nhung, Rebeca, por la extraña y hermosa aventura a través de la cual me habéis llevado.

Sammy (mayo de 2020) 

*El título de esta publicación ha sido traducido, después de robado, de ESTE hermoso espectáculo de Ivana Müller.

[thegoldenyears-memories]

I HAVE DIED EVERYDAY WAITING FOR YOU, a bertram (ft. rosalind) mix

𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒊 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓? 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅

                                                            ( listen / download )

01. CREEP de radiohead ( when you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye. you're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry. you float like a feather in a beautiful world. i wish i was special, you're so fucking special. but i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo. what the hell am i doing here? i don't belong here. i don't care if it hurts, i want to have control. i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul. i want you to notice when i'm not around. you're so fucking special, i wish i was special. )

02. I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND (THE BEATLES COVER) de t.v. carpio ( oh please, say to me you'll let me be your man. and please, say to me you'll let me hold your hand. and when i touch you i feel happy inside, it's such a feeling that my love i can't hide. )

03. BAD IDEAS de tessa violet ( i hope you don't think i'm rude but i wanna make out with you. and i'm a little awkward, sure, but i could touch my face to yours, oh. and no one ever called me smooth but i just wanna see the grooves between your hands, your teeth, oh, tell me, do you think about me? i just wanna kiss you, and even if i miss you at least i'll know what it's like to have held your hand, oh! no-o, hey! bad ideas, ay (oh!) i know where they lead (hey, oh!) but i have too many to sleep and i can't get enough, no. i wanna kiss you standing up, oh, no! and if tomorrow makes me low (oh!) well it'd be worth it just to know, 'cause i can't get enough, no, i wanna kiss you standing up. i don't know what compels me to do the very thing that fells me, i wake up, still high on you but by the night i'm crashing through. so why'd i wanna kiss you even though i miss you, guess i just wanted to know what it would feel like, oh! )

04. I WANNA BE YOURS de arctic monkeys ( you call the shots, babe, i just wanna be yours. secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought. maybe i just wanna be yours. )

05. ALL THOSE PRETTY LIGHTS de andrew belle ( the wind blows through your hair, as you're walking people stare up the block and down the street to north king's highway. and there's a beating in my chest and it's seeming to suggest that before this day is through it might go my way. and so i sit back in my seat, i scribble down something that's sweet about a boy, a girl, an endless stretch of scenery. 'cause it's like falling to your knees before a stranger on the street, i did it just the other day, you should have seen me. oh and i wanna remember this night, and how my words never came out right, it's just my patience that keeps me alive, just like all the pretty lights in the sky. there's something to be said about the colors in your head and how they mix to form the perfect shade of sadness, not because of things i've done or any of the songs i've sung, it's just the story of our lives. and i remember we stayed up way past your bedtime, up on the second floor, down by my sliding door. just innocent kids in a victimless crime, trapped in a metaphor, hoping for something more. )

06. CAN I BE HIM de james arthur ( you walked into the room and now my heart's been stolen. you took me back in time to when i was unbroken. now you're all i want and i knew it from the very first moment. 'cause a light came on when i heard that song and i want you to sing it again i swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me like it was a private show. but i know you never saw me. when the lights come on and i'm on my own, will you be there to sing it again? could i be the one you talk about in all your stories? can i be him? i heard there was someone but i know he don't deserve you. if you were mine i'd never let anyone hurt you. i wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips, it's all that i've been thinking about. )

07. DON’T GET ME WRONG (THE PRETENDERS COVER) de lily allen ( don't get me wrong if i'm looking kind of dazzled, i see neon lights whenever you walk by. don't get me wrong if you say hello and i take a ride upon a sea where the mystic moon is playing havoc with the tide, don't get me wrong. don't get me wrong if i'm acting so distracted, i'm thinking about the fireworks that go off when you smile. don't get me wrong if i come and go like fashion, i might be great tomorrow but hopeless yesterday. )

08. BRUISES de chairlift ( i tried to do handstands for you, but every time i fell for you i'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you. i got bruises on my knees for you, and grass stains on my knees for you, got holes in my new jeans for you, got pink and black and blue for you. )

09. WHAT I WOULDN’T DO de a fine frenzy ( if we were children i would bake you a mud pie, warm and brown beneath the sun. never learned to climb a tree but i would try just to show you what i'd done. oh what i wouldn't do if i had you, babe. if i were old, my dearest, you would be older, but i would crawl upon your lap. wrap a blanket round our frail little shoulders and i'd die happily like that. it was now and we were both in the same place, didn't know how to say the words with my heart ticking like a bomb in a birdcage, i left before someone got hurt. )

10. ERES (CAFÉ TACVBA COVER) de kas sand ( eres lo que más quiero en este mundo, eso eres. mi pensamiento más profundo también eres. tan sólo dime lo que hago, aquí me tienes. eres, cuando despierto, lo primero, eso eres, lo que a mi vida le hace falta si no vienes, lo único precioso que en mi mente habita hoy. ¿qué más puedo decirte? tal vez puedo mentirte sin razón. pero lo que hoy siento es que sin ti estoy muerto, pues eres lo que más quiero en este mundo, eso eres. eres el tiempo que comparto, eso eres. lo que la gente promete cuando se quiere. mi salvación, mi esperanza y mi fe. soy el que quererte quiere como nadie, soy el que te llevaría el sustento día a día, día a día. el que por ti daría la vida, ese soy. aquí estoy a tu lado y espero aquí sentado hasta el final. no te has imaginado lo que por ti he esperado, pues eres lo que yo amo en este mundo, eso eres. cada minuto en lo que pienso, eso eres. )

11. A SKY FULL OF STARS (COLDPLAY COVER) de twinkle twinkle little rock star ( instrumental )

12. JUST ANOTHER GIRL de the killers ( all of my friends say i should move on, she's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart so hard. and all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be, and it's a great big world, she's just another girl. i could be reeling them in left and right, something's got a hold on me, tonight. well, maybe all of my friends should confront the fact that i don't want another girl. she's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart, boy. )

13. SWEET DREAM de greg laswell ( if i could write out my own dream for the next time that i sleep, you'd be the first one that i see and i the last one that you keep. the dream would go on and on while we sway against all things thrown our way. and the morning would be so cruel when it came with sunshine and warmth to blame for announcing the end of my sweet dream. )

14. MELTING de kali uchis ( you are my church, you are my place of worship. when you're around, my insides turn inverted. my blood start to rush when i see you, darling. i know you're nearby and i know your purpose, take one look at you, you're heavens incarnate. what is this spell baby, please show some mercy. melting like an ice cream when you smile. melting, you're a daydream, stay a while. i pray that i can learn to be funny, i am watching every stand-up comedy just hoping that it will rub off on me, so you will smile at everything i say. you got some soft lips and some pearly whites, i wanna touch them with the dead of night. your smile ignites just like a candlelight, then somehow i know everything's alright. )

15. NIÑA ROJA de adanowsky ( niña roja, mírame, dame besos y quédate, en mis brazos piérdete, niña roja, sígueme. niña, sólo por ti lloro, tengo lágrimas de oro, quiero que te lleves todo, róbame, soy tu tesoro. en mi corazón tatuada te llevaré hasta mi muerte. cuando mi cuerpo se disperse serás el viento en mi espalda. )

16. MAPS de yeah yeah yeahs ( wait, they don't love you like i love you. )

17. A THOUSAND YEARS (LULLABY) de christina perri ( heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave? how can i love when i'm afraid to fall? but watching you stand alone all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. one step closer. i have died everyday waiting for you, darling don't be afraid i have loved you for a thousand years, i'll love you for a thousand more. time stands still, beauty in all she is. i will be brave, i will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. every breath, every hour has come to this. one step closer. )

╰  ❄  feliz navidad y año nuevo, emma.

—; de: golden ( @thegoldenyearsrp )

—; para: emma ( @bcrtramaubrey )

Que tal, Emma 8D. Soy yo, el Main. Así es, quizá sólo me vea como otra página en internet, pero soy mucho más que eso. Te he hecho este mix de Bertram sufriendo por Rosalind, pobre amigo. Me dio risa y pena, ya que deje de ser emo. Disfruta de esta colección darks de canciones, y recuerda, el Main te quiere mucho, al igual que todos aquí 8D.

P.D.: *El Main golpea a Bertram*

                                                  — golden. 🎅

[like-it-was-yesterday]

NaNoWriMo 2018 Prep

English version under the cut.

Hace muchísimo tiempo, cuando estaba en el colegio y tenía tiempo libre hasta para regalar, solía escribir seguido en un blog sobre los proyectos que quería terminar. Novelas. Sagas. Trilogías. Tenía tantas ideas, y ciertamente tomé toda esa inspiración por sentado y ahora más bien tengo que luchar conmigo misma para escribir un simple drabble (además de la constante lucha entre la universidad, procrastinar, y ser productiva con mi escritura). En ese momento también era capaz de sentarme y leerme un libro en una sola tarde, aunque luego me lloraran los ojos y me diera migraña--ahora más bien con costos leo.

A lo que quiero llegar con esto es a que tomé muchas cosas por sentado cuando era una chiquilla. Pensé que siempre tendría tiempo, que siempre tendría la misma pasión por escribir que en ese momento, que leer siempre sería parte de mi vida e incluso que no había forma en que me equivocara a la hora de elegir carrera. Y, por supuesto, me equivoqué en todo. Todavía tengo las ideas que tenía en ese momento, las historias, los personajes... Todo eso sigue en mí, en mi corazón, y no lo he olvidado. Quizá un día vuelvan a apasionarme tanto como lo hicieron en ese momento, no lo sé.

Cuando era más joven y escuché por primera vez lo del National Novel Writing Month recuerdo que me emocioné en demasía. No tenía idea de qué era, pero eso de dedicar un mes entero a escribir una novela me parecía excelente. Claro, volvemos a que tenía todo el tiempo del mundo y mi mayor preocupación era no quedarme dormida en clase de Religión con la Hermana Josefa. En ese momento no tenía idea de lo que era realmente NaNoWriMo ni todo el proceso que conlleva, pero ahora sí.

Este va a ser mi segundo año participando (luego de perder magníficamente el año pasado). Y aunque no le he puesto las ganas y empeño que le puse antes, por alguna razón me siento más confiada. No voy a intentar llegar a 50k palabras, porque aunque no es imposible, no estoy en el mejor momento para desperdiciar tiempo escribiendo (que no es tiempo desperdiciado, pero la adultez pide prioridades y prioridades tengo). Mi proyecto de este año es algo que ha estado gestando desde años anteriores, y me tiene muy emocionada poder empezar esto.

恋の予感 (Koi no Yokan) es una expresión japonesa que podría explicarse como Amor a primera vista, pero va más allá. Koi (恋) significa amor (sustantivo), y al combinarse con Yokan (予感), que significa premonición, se vuelve el sentimiento de conocer a alguien y saber que inevitablemente te enamorarás de esa persona. Como la mayoría de cosas en japonés, es un significado sumamente poético, y tal vez por eso es que me gusta tanto. Duré mucho tiempo en elegir un título porque ya de por sí soy indecisa por naturaleza, pero no encontraba nada que tuviera el sentido que necesitaba. Pensé, incluso, en llamarle 赤い糸 (Akai Ito) por el Hilo rojo del destino, pero me pareció demasiado cliché. Así que me decidí por este.

Koi no Yokan es una historia larga, que se desarrolla principalmente con el prompt de la reencarnación. Seguirá a una serie de personajes a lo largo de siete vidas, todas con distintos eventos que los unirá o separará. Almas gemelas que están destinadas a encontrarse cada vida, pero no todas son lo suficientemente afortunadas para estar juntas. Empieza en el Sengoku Jidai, la era de los lords y terratenientes en Japón, donde el amor tomará desprevenida a la protagonista y le dará un giro inesperado a su vida.

Estaré posteando sobre mi avance en mi Writing Blog, y quizá suba algunos moodboards sobre personajes y momentos específicos en Instagram. También, si están interesados, hice una playlist en Spotify sobre la novela.

English version:

A long time ago, when I was in highschool and I had abundant free time, I used to write often in a blog about the projects I wanted to finish. Novels. Series. Trilogies. I had so many ideas, and certainly I took all that inspiration for granted and not I even have to fight myself to write a simple drabble (aside the constant fight between college, procrastinating and being productive with my writing). At that time I was also able to sit down and read a whole book in one day, even if my eyes cried later and I got a migraine--now I barely read.

What I’m trying to say with this is that I took a lot of things for granted when I was younger. I thought I would have time, that I’d always have the same passion for writing that I had at the time, that reading would always be a part of my life and even that there was no way I’d be making a mistake when I had to choose my major. Of course, I was wrong in all of them. I still have the ideas I had at that time, the stories, the characters... Everything is still here, in my heart, and I have not forgotten it. Maybe some day I will be passionate about them again, I don’t know.

When I was younger and I heard about National Novel Writing Month for the first time, I remember I was super excited. I had no idea what it was, but the thought of dedicating a whole month to write a novel seemed amazing. Of course, we go back to the fact I had all the time in the world and my biggest concern was not falling asleep in Religion class with Sister Josefa. At that moment I had no idea what NaNoWriMo really was, nor all the process it had, but now I do.

This is going to be my second year participatin (after failing greatly last year). And even though I have not prepared as much as I had before, for some reason I feel more confident this time. I’m not going to try to reach 50k words, because although it is not impossible, I am not in the best moment to waste my time writing (that it might not be a waste, but adulthood asks for priorities and priorities I have). My project this year is something that I’ve been planning for years, and I am very excited to begin this.

恋の予感 (Koi no Yokan) is a japanese expression that could be explained as Love at first sight, but it goes beyong that. Koi (恋) means love (noun), and when you combine it with Yokan (予感), that means premonition, it becomes the feeling of meeting someone for the first time and knowing that you will inevitably fall in love with them. As most things in japanese, it is a very poetic meaning, and perhaps that is why I like it so much. It took me a very long time to choose a title because, aside the fact I am indecisive by nature, I didn’t find anything that held the meaning I needed. I even thought of naming it 赤い糸 (Akai Ito), for the Red thread of fate, but I thought it was far too cliché. So I decided on this one.

Koi no Yokan is a long story, that will developt mostly with the reincarnation prompt. It will follow a series of characters along seven lives, all of them with different events that will either bring them together or separate them. Soulmates that are fated to find each other each live, but not all of them are lucky enough to be together. It starts in Sengoku Jidai, the period of lords in Japan, where love will take by surprise our protagonist, and will give her life an unexpected change.

I will be posting my progress on my Writing Blog, and maybe I’ll post some moodboards of characters and specific moments in my Instagram. Also, if you are interested, I made a playlist on Spotify about the story.

[exxotiquegourmet]

In Spain You Don’t Need to Order Food - Only Drinks! (they all come with food)

Primero, if there is one conclusion that i have come to during my most recent visit to Europe (and good lord! this is my LAST [and only 2nd, so far] European excursion for a long while) it isssss….. that servers always , always , ALWAYS appreciate un poco propina (ALWAYS!). i don't care what bourgeoisie member, what aristocrat, what rich pig tells you otherwise. Y tambien no creo que (that) of all the American things that have been exported & have caught on around the world the good ol' tip is not one that every damn camerero the food & bev world over would not find something to do with, some laundromat to use it in, some vending machine to snack on it.

So, give tips, yall- even when the cheapskates & tour guides say it really isn't necessary/ or that it is offensive or lo que sea. People need money out here (especially in the service industry.) No es like automaticamente the servers in España or Portugal have way more money than those in the States or occupy some super high status just because they wait tables in Europe.

Por lo menus, servers worldwide work just as hard as any "suit," they occupy a lower status & therefore make an "okaay" living but not very glamorous and certainly not luxurious. Servers often are the tour guides, the direction-givers as well - so, shake em some change while your'e traveling! Don't be cheap/ stingy/ ungrateful for having a meal sans spit. :-)

APPRECIATION: incluye las cosas pequeñas , no solomente los grandes.

PSA>>>>>>>> When in Rome - don't smoke the cigarettes! It's still bad for your health, niños! Even though it might seem cooler to smoke in front of ancient European cathedrals & ruins.... I understand.

SPANISH FOOD in my opinion:Simple, regular, count -on-able goodness - not necessarily fresh all the time (ahem, boxed milk) y tambien falta un poco de sazon o sal (a veces) too (pero comida buena - cada. vez.)

Let's be real, Portugal y Espanya are close enough geographically that their languages, customs & cuisines (the intended subject of this article) are not drastically different, they are not, so i will talk/discuss them together for the purpose of this essay & anyway, i traveled to those 2 places together/during this trip so their comparison is fresh. 

Alor…1st impressions: Portugal, Darling...you don't have enough porto o madeira to maintain your name.  I was aghast at how little Port was around, how rarely it was mentioned or pushed on me. I traveled to Portugal expecting to drown in the sweet, sappy goodness!

Segundo, the effortlessness with which you offer/provide pastries Y perfect (!) coffee astounds an American like me who is accustomed to doing LOT for a little bit of good coffee & bread (you share this trait with Espanya.)

In Spain y Portugal, there is a distinct feeling of self-ingratitude or self non-appreciation, self-discounting, self-sabotage (especially w/ the drinking & nonstop cigarette smoking) self-debasement, self pejorativation, bueno…many words i could create for this feeling but i hope you get the idea--a lack of self-esteem which I believe is the reason why Spain y Portugal give themselves away for less (ladies! i hope you hear me!) & by extension, are somewhat looked down upon by some of the other countries in the EE.UU. Bueno quizás it all started bc these countries seem to cheapen themselves! This is very interesting to observe as it is in direct contrast to the American "Puff Fish" mentality - a culture young & hallow that self aggrandizes to cover for a lack of substance, lack of pith, lack of history, lack of self-knowledge or genuine self-belief. Now maybeeee, this is a very dramatic overstatement of a social observation.

Back to food- bueno! I believe, this self-depreciation leads to 2 things :

1. Giving away more for free (snacks que vienen con cada cerveza, vino or the tiny muffins that comes w/ coffee)  

2. Lack of self-confidence that holds the cuisine in a status quo sin experimentation (the "spiciest" food (read: most interesting food) that i experienced while traveling was Mozambican in Lisbon) ------- i was craving/wondering what the "New Spanish" chefs were creating! But alas, tricky to find those “wild,” experimental restaurants.

Spain & Portugal me parecen muy traditional en muchos aspectos: la comida, la sociedad, los planes de la ciudad. Pero al reverse perhaps it is this tradition, this belief in how things are & have been that allows the cafeterias y cafes to offer a no-buts-about-it, killer product without pretense, without a need for tip or confirmation (they know what they've got! Been serving' it for years!). Knowing that it is good porque tortilla espanola is ALWAYS good (& it's somebody's Grandma's recipe from 1937). But of course this traditional mindset no funciona as well in our times today (i use the word "our" to speak of us youngsters/millennials/kids that want that new-new all the time)

Culinarily, it must be said that traditional approaches to food are generally established on the mistreatment/ over consumption of animals (Did you know that the bullfights still END with the murder of el Toro?! Yo no sabia before this trip.....que triste) For this reason - the traditions. must. change but also our times usher in an exciting space where we require algo nuevo de quality, algo exotic pero mixed with lo que es familiar Y friendly. Our desires are brand new! Complicados? (no), profundos, frescos, diferentes. What we want needs muchos colores y sentidos pero todos los sentidos must feel gooooooooooooooooooood.

Of course, for me as an enjoyer at the end of the day, traveling is a joy & i loved everything that I was blessed to eat- the food & the excess of olive oil pleased me mucho (it's so good for the hair and skin!) & it's so comforting with hot, crusty bread!

There is an overall feeling of generosity & hospitality that comes w/ free food in Spain even with the confused & supercilious looks of the locals as I walked down the street in my very ostentatiously American clothing. No dish really blew me away but every dish pleased me at least. I did leave Europe COMPLETELY unconvinced of buying food in upscale, "white tablecloth" restaurants for what they offer in status/look-at-me they could never provide in realness or feeling of how things really ARE in a place. Give me that real shit! Vale, Espanya  y Portugal gracias por tu hospitality y basic goodness espero cuando nos reunimos sepáis mas que valor tienen!

Postres + crema

Calamares

Vino + Patatas

Jamon + Queso

Pastel de nata

Pulpo

Bacalao

Pimientos

Tortilla española

Cafe con leche

Pan! Pan! Pan!

Aceite de oliva!

Aceitunas!

[nurializ]

“Live free or die”

I believe that there is some sort of beauty in every place, and that’s why I like traveling. Living in a country like the US offers endless posibilities when you look for new places to go, but sometimes everything you need is right next to you.

This past February I found myself craving from fresh air and wanting to take a break from New York, so I opened a map on my computer and started messaging my friends to see who would be willing to come with me on a small roadtrip to whatever place we decided. I have to say that I’m lucky enough to have a group of friends who rarely say “no” to new adventures, so if they see a trip coming they will probably make it happen. We thought about the Carolinas, Maine and Vermont, but none of them were close enough for a three-day roadtrip. And then I remembered a place that one day had a meaning for me: New Hampshire. That almost forgotten state caught between Vermont and Maine was going to be our destination for the next few days. And a state whose motto is “Live Free or Die” is always worth the visit.

It was Friday very late at night when we left New York after getting lost in the roads of Chappaqua. It was kind of a long drive until we got to Salem, where we were going to spend the night before arriving at Portsmouth, our first destination. It was cold and cloudy when we arrived at this small coastal town, and there was something familiar about it; something that reminded me of the little towns of the UK. Its paved streets, its architecture, the small cafes and small handcraft shops took me back to England without leaving the US. We wandered around the small streets which took us to a local brewery called “Earth Eagle Brewing”. It was a very small place but one of the best breweries I’ve been too. If you are not good at making decisions, you might have to try the sample board to taste 6 of their delicious beers! After the brewery we looked for a place to try the classic lobster roll and clam chowder, and we find a beautiful place called “The River House” where you can enjoy the view while eating or having some drinks (or both).

As much as we wanted to stay in Portsmouth we had to get on the road to arrive at our next destination, a small town in the lake region called Wolfeboro. We didn’t expect to find such a beautiful town surrounded by frozen lakes. We drove past dozens of lakes of different shapes and sizes, most of them completely frozen. Sitting in the docks of Lake Winnipesauke looking at its peace and quietness has been one of the most captivating moments I have experienced in all my travels. We witnessed one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve seen so far: a strong pink coloured sky contrasting with the pure white snow and the light grey of the frozen lakes.  

We saw the lights fading away as we drove north to our next stop: North Conway. We got there just in time to visit one of its most popular restaurants: The Moody Moose. This place is everything you can expect from a restaurant in the mountains: a wooden cabin-shaped place with a big fireplace, good food and good beer. It was everything we needed after hours of driving; a warm and homey place were we could spend some time together at the end of the day without worrying about anythig else.  

The morning surprised us with a snow storm that didn’t seem to be very strong at the beginning, so we decided to take the Kancamagus Highway to get to Lincoln and its Ice Castles, on the other side of the White Mountains. The experience of driving through this scenic byway was simply amazing: seeing the mountains covered in snow, streams running on both sides and small cabins in the middle of nowhere, was certainly one of the highlights of our trip. We got to Lincoln around noon just in time to see the Ice Castles and having a drink in one of their local breweries before heading back to New York (One Love Brewery is a German Lager House that is a must if you visit Lincoln).

We could see New Hampshire’s motto one last time on our way to New York: “Live free or die” and I couldn’t help myself when thinking about how traveling sets you free in so many different ways. It sets you free from prejudice and comfortability, from acceptance and routine, from many things that prevent us from living. Traveling creates memories that you will have forever, and the more challenging the trip is, the bigger the reward will be.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Siempre he pensado que todo sitio tiene su encanto, y por eso me gusta tanto viajar, porque rara vez me decepciono. La ventaja de vivir en Estados Unidos es que tienes infinitas posibilidades cuando buscas un nuevo sitio al que ir pero a veces no te das cuenta de que lo que necesitas está a pocos kilómetros de ti.

El pasado febrero me di cuenta de que necesitaba salir de Nueva York, necesitaba aire fresco y un nuevo sitio que me permitiese desconectar de la ciudad, así que me encontré a mí misma abriendo un mapa de Estados Unidos y buscando sitios que estuviesen lo suficientemente cerca para un viaje de tres días. Escribí a mis amigos con la esperanza de que dijeran que sí, y tengo la gran suerte de poder decir que estoy rodeada de personas que rara vez dicen que no cuando de viajar se trata. Pensamos en viajar a las Carolinas, Maine o Vermont, pero todos esos sitios estaban muy lejos para un fin de semana. Y entonces me acordé de un sitio que un día significó algo para mí: New Hampshire. Ese pequeño y casi olvidado estado que se encuentra entre Maine y Vermont iba a ser nuestro destino de los próximos días, y un estado cuyo lema es “Vive Libre o Muere” merece la pena visitarlo.

Era viernes por la noche cuando salimos de Nueva York después de perdernos por las carreteras de Chappaqua. Fue un viaje más o menos largo hasta que llegamos a Salem, donde pasamos la noche antes de llegar a Portsmouth, nuestro primer destino. Hacía frío y estaba nublado cuando llegamos a esta pequeña ciudad costera, y había algo familiar en ella, algo que me recordó a las pequeñas ciudades del Reino Unido. Sus estrechas calles de piedra, su arquitectura, las pequeñas cafeterías y las tiendas de manualidades me llevaron de vuelta a Inglaterra sin salir de allí. Caminamos por sus pequeñas calles hasta que estas nos llevaron a una pequeña cervecería local llamada “Earth Eagle Brewing”. Era un sitio muy pequeño, pero sin duda una de las cervecerías más auténticas en las que he estado. Había tantas cervezas que era imposible decidir así que terminamos pidiendo una tabla de muestras para probarlas todas. Después, buscamos un sitio donde probar el clásico sándwich de langosta y la crema de marisco y encontramos un sitio precioso llamado “The River House”, donde comimos justo al lado del agua.

Aunque nos hubiese encantado pasar más tiempo en Portsmouth, tuvimos que volver a la carretera para poder llegar al siguiente destino en nuestra lista: un pequeño pueblo en la región de los lagos llamado Wolfeboro. No esperábamos encontrarnos con un pueblo tan bonito rodeado de tantos lagos. Pasamos al lado de muchísimos lagos de distintas formas y tamaños, la mayoría de ellos totalmente congelados. Estar sentada en los muelles del Lago Winnipesauke mirando a sus tranquilas y casi congeladas aguas fue uno de los momentos más especiales de todos mis viajes. Allí vimos uno de los atardeceres más bonitos que he visto hasta ahora: un cielo rosa fuerte contrastando con la blanca nieve y el gris claro de los lagos congelados.  

Vimos el sol ponerse poco a poco y las luces desapareciendo mientras conducíamos hacia el norte, hacia North Conway. Llegamos a tiempo para cenar en uno de sus restaurantes más conocidos: The Moody Moose. Es todo lo que puedes esperar de un restaurante en las montañas: una cabaña de madera con una chimenea, comida tradicional y cerveza local. Era todo lo que necesitábamos después de haber conducido durante horas: un sitio acogedor donde pasar tiempo juntos sin tener que preocuparnos de nada más.

La mañana nos sorprendió con una tormenta de nieve que no parecía muy fuerte al principio, así que decidimos coger la carretera de Kancamagus para llegar a Lincoln y a sus castillos de hielo, al otro lado de las Montañas Blancas. La experiencia de conducir a través de este paso de montaña fue increíble: las montañas cubiertas de nieve, pequeños ríos a ambos lados y cabinas de madera hicieron de esta ruta uno de los mejores momentos de nuestro viaje. Llegamos a Lincoln al medio día justo a tiempo para ver los castillos de hielo y parar en una cervecería local antes de volver a Nueva York (One Love Brewery es una casa alemana de cervezas a la que es obligatorio ir si se visita Lincoln.)

Pudimos ver el lema de New Hampshire una última vez antes de salir del estado: “Vive libre o muere”. Y no pude evitar pensar acerca de cómo viajar te hace libre de muchas maneras. Te libera de los prejuicios y la comodidad, de la aceptación y la rutina, de muchas cosas que nos impiden vivir. Viajar te proporciona recuerdos que llevas contigo siempre, y cuanto más difícil es el viaje, mucho más grande es la recompensa.

[spanishskulduggery]

Hi, is there an easy rule as for when to use el Subjuntivo?

I would say yes and no. There are easy parts of subjunctive, and there are more confusing parts of subjunctive. The subjunctive mood encompasses a lot, it’s like asking if there’s an easy rule for indicative and I’d be like “well maybe present tense is kind of up front about what it wants, but preterite/imperfect aren’t always easy to understand”… it’s like that.

The only mood that’s really easy to understand completely is the imperative [commands] because it’s “do it” or “don’t do it” and it’s a lot of conjugation and practice but it’s not like things change or get weird.

But subjunctive. Anything I try to explain about when it’s used is a big oversimplification so just bear with it because not everything perfectly lines up.

But in general there are maybe 5 or 6 general ways that present subjunctive is used, and I’ll explain them all in more detail:

Expressing desire/opinion/imposition of will/wish fulfillment and opinions based on emotional input

Subjunctive phrases

Subjunctive possibility

Ignorance, doubt, or disbelief

Politeness [and the subject of politeness also includes #6 which is “indirect commands” or “a politer way to ask someone to do something]

There’s also some overlap between them, because like I said it doesn’t all line up perfectly into little boxes or categories all the time. I’m also arranging them in order of things most needed to know before you go on to the next part.

Also please keep in mind this is specifically present subjunctive, but I will go over imperfect subjunctive a bit because there is some overlap but also imperfect subjunctive can be more particular.

When you’re talking subjunctive most people will lay out subjunctive in terms of #1 and that makes sense because it’s a good starting point. When you’re talking about subjunctive in this sense, it’s primarily made up of two causes with the first clause in some kind of indicative and then following it is a subjunctive clause.

The clauses are then normally connected with a que or sometimes there’s a de que or a que depending on the verb. Some verbs use specific prepositions, it’s not like the meaning is suddenly different exactly.

Quiero que pongas la mesa. = I want you to set the table.

The quiero is in present tense [indicative], while pongas is present subjunctive. This would be something like a desire or an imposition of will.

The yo wants tú to do something, and by imposing their will on that person. 

It can also be used impersonally [without a person, talking about an inanimate object]:

Ojalá que no llueva. = I hope (to God) that it doesn’t rain.

Espero que nieve. = I hope it snows. 

Deseo que haga buen tiempo. = I hope the weather’s nice. [lit. “I hope it makes good weather”]

These sorts of things sometimes cross into subjunctive possibility, but the idea is that you’re wishing or wanting something to happen, and the thing that is “to happen” is then in subjunctive.

In its base form, subjunctive is “someone wants something to happen” and it’s divided between “someone wants [indicative] + that/to [que] + to happen [subjunctive]

And in this form, it’s very important that there be two different subjects in two clauses. You CANNOT have subjunctive in this particular sense without it or it would come up as indicative:

Quiero que te vayas a dormir. = I want you to go to sleep.

Quiero irme a dormir. / Me quiero ir a dormir. = I want to go to sleep.

A yo cannot really “act on itself”… you’re just expressing a desire. It’s not an imposition of will if it isn’t someone else’s will… it’s just an expression of will.

So in other words “I want you to set the table” is a yo working influence over a tú. But quiero poner la mesa “I want to set the table” has no conflict of influence.

The next part is opinion and particularly emotional opinions. I say emotional since they’re usually done with words related to emotion, but what it really means is subjective. Subjective is subjunctive.

In other words someone/someone is “happy/sad/afraid/curious/scared/worried” that “something will happen”. They aren’t always emotions, but they can be done with subjective opinions like “important/interesting/curious” etc… It also includes me gusta(n) or me gustaría(n) though me gustaría normally indicates imperfect subjunctive.

These do sometimes exist with imperfect subjunctive because of things happening in the past but for the purposes of explaining these will all be in present subjunctive.

Me alegra que hayas venido. = I’m glad you could come.Me alegra que vengas. = I’m glad you’re coming.

Es triste que no sea así. = It’s sad it’s not like that.Es triste que diga eso. = It’s sad that he/she would say that.Me entristece que lo haga. = It saddens me that he/she/it would do that.

Es curioso que nadie quiera ir. = It’s curious/strange that no one would want to go.

Es importante que escuchen. = It’s important for them to listen.

Es interesante que lo menciones. = It’s interesting you mention it.

Qué bien que estés aquí. = I’m glad you’re here. [lit. “how nice (it is) that you’re here”]

There are times when people will use indicative instead of subjunctive, but predominantly subjunctive is the most applicable and polite.

#2 Subjunctive phrases is a very overarching kind of thing. It shows up in a lot of the other categories. But basically there are many words or expressions that generally (and sometimes always) indicate subjunctive. Some of these include…

a menos que = unless (something happens)

con tal (de) que = as long as (something happens)

hasta que = until (something happens)

a no ser que = unless (something happens)

antes (de) que = before (something happens)

después (de) que = after (something happens)

hacer que = to make (something do something else)

para que = so that (something could happen)

sin que = without (something happening)

tal vez / quizá = maybe

puede que = it might/could (be that)

ojalá* (que) = I hope to God / hopefully (something happens)

*I mentioned it before but ojalá is a word that literally means “I hope to God” or something like “God willing”. It comes from Arabic most likely something like “inshallah”, where “Allah” comes out as Alá in Spanish.

This list also includes es importante que, es curioso que, es triste que and others. There’s also no pensar/creer que which I’ll cover more in the part on doubt.

There are also verbs that generally imply subjunctive when used with a que

pedir que = to request that (something happen)

desear que = to desire/want that (something happen)

querer que = to want that (something happen)

obligar a que = to force/obligate (someone to do something)

exigir que = to demand that (something happen)

sugerir que = to suggest that (something happen)

mandar que = to order that (something happen)

lamentar que = to regret/lament that (something happened)

preferir que = to prefer that (something happen)

esperar que = to hope that (something happen)esperar a que = to wait until (something happens)

I should say that there are some phrases that ARE NOT ALWAYS subjunctive, depending on use. The big example of this is después que which can be subjunctive or indicative.

They make most sense in subjunctive when the thing hasn’t happened yet but still might. This is also going to use imperfect subjunctive because a lot of the indicative examples of them do happen in past tense. I will say that’s more common with después though.

Me voy a dormir después (de) que me llamen. = I’m going to bed after they call me.

In this case it makes sense to have subjunctive because it implies that the “they” hasn’t called yet. This crosses into possibility. There’s a possibility they won’t, or they might. But the yo doesn’t know when.

For indicative it would have to be after it had already happened:

después (de) que me llamaron = after they called me

While you do see something like después (de) que me llamaran which is imperfect subjunctive “after they had called me” or “after they would call me” it’s harder to translate without proper context.

Let’s just say that generally when it has already happened, it’s indicative for después.

#3 Possibility. This one is the hardest to explain because English’s subjunctive is conjugated like indicative, which makes it harder to spot in English when it is being used.

Possibility is somewhere between doubt and subjunctive phrases, but it means that it gets used with unlikely events. These are usually hypothetical situations or things that haven’t happened yet but might later on but you don’t know when.

Espero a que llegue el tren. = I’m waiting until the train arrives.

In this sense, you don’t know when the train will arrive, but it’s something like a possibility.

The most common one is puede que which is used as “might/could”:

Puede que llueva. = It might rain.

Puede que haga sol. = It might be sunny.

Puede que vayan a la playa. = They might go to the beach.

Puede que se queden en casa. = They might stay home.

Puede que tengas razón. = You might be right.

Puede que tengan hambre. = They might be hungry.

The use of puede que is kind of like a guess or a supposition.

You can also say puede que sí “it might” or puede que no “it might not” as complete sentences.

Possibilities like this can sometimes be translated with words involving -ever like “whenever”, “however”, “whoever/whomever”, “wherever”, “whatever”:

lo que sea = whatever

Sea lo que sea. = Be that as it may/were. / Whatever it is.

A quien corresponda… = To whom it concerns…

Quien lea esto… = Whoever reads this…A quien lea esto… = To whomever reads this…

dondequiera que estés = wherever you areadondequiera que vayas = wherever you go

como quieras = as you wish / whatever you sayHaz lo que quieras. = Do whatever you want.Haz lo que te dé la gana. = Do whatever you want.

en cuanto puedas = as soon as you can

pase lo que pase = come what may

Sometimes whether it’s indicative or subjunctive depends on your style or personal mood:

Cuando tienes tiempo… = When you have the time…

Cuando tengas tiempo… = Whenever you have the time…

Using subjunctive here just means that you’re kind of like “no rush” and you don’t expect them to get back to you very soon.

They can also be used in the sense of contrary to fact or denials of reality. This I find makes the most sense with aunque

When aunque is used with indicative it’s roughly “although”. When it’s subjunctive aunque is often “even if/though”

Aunque sean de piedra… = Even if they’re made of stone… / Though they be made of stone…

Aunque sea verdad… = Even if that is true…Aunque fuera verdad… = Even if that were true…

Aunque digas la verdad… = Even if you tell the truth…Aunque no digas/dijeras la verdad… = Even if you don’t tell the truth…

Aunque tengas razón… = Even if you’re right…

#4 Ignorance is kind of the same as those above, but it’s a little more straightforward. You don’t know what you don’t know, so ignorance or doubt or disbelief are uncertain by nature. It’s that uncertainty that makes things very easy to understand.

Dudo que sea así. = I doubt it’s like that.

Dudo que llueva. = I doubt it will rain.

Que yo sepa. = As far as I know. / To my knowledge…Que tú sepas. = As far as you know.Que ellos/ellas sepan. = As far as they know.Que nosotros/nosotras sepamos. = As far as we know. / To our knowledge…

A very common confusion exists with no creer and no pensar and no estar seguro/a, and their affirmative counterparts. But it’s very simple: firm beliefs and certainty and thoughts are indicative, and being unsure or uncertain or not believing are most often subjunctive:

pensar que = to think that + indicativeno pensar que = to not that thing + subjunctive

creer que = to believe that + indicativeno creer que = to not believe that + subjunctive

estar seguro/a (de) que = to be sure that + indicativeno estar seguro/a (de) que = to be unsure that / to not be certain that + subjunctive

The affirmatives show confidence, and the negatives show uncertainty:

Pienso que es importante. = I think it’s important.No pienso que sea importante. = I don’t think it’s important. / I don’t think it would be important.

Creo que es importante. = I believe it’s important.No creo que sea importante. = I don’t believe it’s important. / I don’t believe it would be important.

Estoy seguro/a (de) que es importante. = I’m sure it’s important.No estoy seguro/a (de) que sea importante. = I’m not sure if it’s important.

Basically the lesson is that your thoughts and beliefs when phrases affirmatively are indicative. English is a little wishy-washy in that we sometimes say “to think” in a more doubtful or uncertain way, but Spanish is very clear that it’s indicative unless you add a negative to it:

Pienso que no es posible. = I think that’s it’s not possible.

No pienso que sea posible. = I don’t think that’s possible.

#5 Politeness

There are times when you use subjunctive for politeness. I would say in general when you’re asking for something or ordering food, it’s normally fine to use present tense, and then if you want to be VERY painfully polite you can use conditional.

Subjunctive however is sometimes used to soften what might be considered too blunt or direct in indicative or imperative. This is how you get something like cuando tienes tiempo vs. cuando tengas tiempo, or something like si es posible vs. si sea posible

The subjunctive can imply a kind of uncertainty or deference in those situations, but that can sort of read as you being insecure or possibly insincere, like it’s possible to see subjunctive and read it as sarcastic… Sort of like “do what you want” can be turned into a more subjunctive “do whatever you want” and that can make a sharp distinction.

But since we kind of covered that already above, I’ll talk about subjunctive politeness in terms of what’s known as indirect commands.

An indirect command is a murky halfway point between subjunctive and imperative mood.

While imperative mood is affirmative or negative commands [“do it” vs. “don’t do it”], the subjunctive kind of takes any rough edges off of that. 

There are times, even when it’s polite, that a command might feel too direct. And there are also times when you’re wishing for something to happen on someone’s behalf, OR you’re asking someone to tell someone else to do something.

That last one is really the full definition of “indirect”:

Canten. = Sing. [plural; direct]

Diles que canten. = Tell them to sing. [di being the tú command of decir]Que canten. = Have them sing.

Instead of telling someone directly to “sing”, you can tell someone “hey, you go tell them to sing”… thus making it indirect.

The use of que + subjunctive is very common for indirect commands and it’s not always specifically politeness, but it reads as impersonal or indirect:

Que así sea. = So be it.

Que sean felices y coman perdices. = “And they lived happily ever after”.[lit. “may they be happy and eat partridges”, where partridges were the kind of thing a noble might eat so it’s like “let them be happy and be wealthy”]

Que no llueva. = I hope it doesn’t rain. / Let it not rain. / “Let’s hope it doesn’t rain”.

Que tengas un buen día. = Have a nice day. [tú]Que tenga un buen día. = Have a nice day. [formal]Que tengan un buen día. = Have a nice day. [plural]

Que haya luz. = Let there be light.Que exista luz. = Let there be light.

Indirect commands always use the subjunctive in these cases.

Also please note that present subjunctive can sometimes be read with a future kind of tone. It’s because present (even in indicative; especially in indicative) has a kind of declarative sense, and a kind of short-term future sense.

So there are times when you see present subjunctive used even though the translation uses something closer to how future tense would sound:

No me importa (lo) que digan. = I don’t care what they say. [present declarative]

No me importa (lo) que digan. = I don’t care what they’re going to say. [short-term future]*no me importa lo que digan is also correct

This is also more generally present subjunctive because it comes across as “what they may (or may not) say”.

In general subjunctive isn’t so difficult once you’re able to recognize the different situations and scenarios that require subjunctive. It’s only really confusing when there are times when you can use either indicative or subjunctive and they change the implied meaning... not enough to change the ENTIRE meaning, but enough to add certain nuances.

It can be like walking a tightrope but when you get more experience, subjunctive isn’t as hard and daunting as it is when you first come across it.

[imperfect subjunctive to follow at a later date]

[therealpolyglot-blog]

My Worst Language Learning Habits.

The whole point of this blog is, to be honest, so as much as I love sharing all of the good stuff I feel it is also very important to share all of the things that I am not the best at. It is good to recognize what isn’t going as good as you think so you can change your language learning habits to better ones. Personally, I don’t think it is healthy to hide all of your mistakes. I mean, I won’t be going around telling everyone about my flaws but I will recognize them if I think that it will make some good. It is liberating to talk about these things and to know that, we are not the only ones that do these things. Maybe you will feel identified or you will think I am really lazy, I am ok with whatever you think.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

- Sticking to a schedule -

I try to! In fact, I love schedules but sometimes my emotions get in the way and I end up doing nothing. I can’t really get as much done as I would want to, I need to take shorts breaks between one activity and the next, I can’t go directly from editing a video to study Italian, even though, that would be the most practical thing to do. I will often procrastinate from one activity to the other, that’s why I convinced myself that before starting to study a language I have to do a “warm-up session” that gets me into the language learning mood. I try not to focus so much on these things but honestly most of the times I feel overwhelmed because I would like to be more productive. I would love to stay focused for more time, I would love to jump from one thing to the other, multitasking is my dream ability. But that’s not me and I have to work with what I have. I know I am great at other things and have to find my own way of doing stuff.

- I don’t know how to commit -

This has been my main area of growth this year. It is so hard for me to stick with one thing and really commit to it. I have to constantly tell myself that I just can’t add another language to my routine, I barely have time for the ones that I’m already learning. I have to come up with ways to keep committed and motivated to all areas of my life and sometimes it drains my energy, but I know is something that I have to get used to if I actually want to achieve something in life! I can’t finish a book, but I love myself a good challenge, so I bought a book in Dutch I know if I bought it then I would have to read it rather if it was just from the library. I have it as a reminder that I have to finish all that I start. Commitment has always been my issue. I don't stop myself from exploring languages I crave, in fact, I follow many of the tips that my dear friend Chrissa shared in her last post. I give myself the opportunity to enjoy new languages but commit to as little as possible because that's all I can handle right now. I'm learning to be better in this area, and I give myself as much time as I need to learn. Honestly, if you aren't patient with yourself, who is going to?

- Learning grammar -

I definitely have a love/hate relationship with grammar. I need it because I love to speak correctly. Grammar is everything. But I get so bored with textbooks, I really need more practical ways to learn it. Maybe it is because so far I have only learned languages in an immersion environment or maybe is the fact that I get distracted so easily. I still have to figure out what's the deal between me and grammar. I really want to learn more but I don't enjoy it as much. This is the reason why you will hardly see me talking about textbooks. I think I might even stick with sentence mining and just have a quick check whenever I have doubts. I do feel better sharing it with the world and definitely will try to work on them. I have to say maybe the secret thing we have prepared for you in June will help me get better at these. Soon you will know what that's all about. Anyway, for now, you get that we all have our issues. Did you felt identified or think I'm just lazy? Mari

Mis Peores Hábitos de Aprendizaje de Idiomas.

Una de las cosas más importantes de este blog es que mantengamos la honestidad, y aunque me encante compartir con ustedes todas las cosas buenos creo que es importante compartir también todo aquello que no hago muy bien. Es bueno reconocer lo que no esta andando como quisiéramos para poder cambiar estos hábitos de aprendizaje de idiomas que te estan estancando, a unos hábitos más productivos. En lo personal, no considero que sea saludable ocultar todos tus errores. O sea, no es que yo vaya por ahí hablando de mis defectos con todo el mundo, pero siempre intento reconocerlos cuando creo que me puede servir para mejorar. Te da un cierto sentimiento de libertad el hablar de esto y saber que muchos de nosotros hacemos las mismas cosas. Quizás, te sientas con lo que diré ahora o quizás pienses que soy demasiado floja, de cualquier forma, me siento bien con quien soy y con lo que sea que pienses.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

- Mantener un horario -

¡Lo intento! de hecho, me encantan los horarios. Pero a veces mis emociones se me atraviesan en el camino y término en casa sin hacer nada. Realmente no puedo hacer tantas cosas al día como quisiera, además necesito tomarme descansos cortos entre una actividad y otra. No puedo empezar a estudiar italiano el minuto después de haber editado un video, aunque eso sea lo más práctico de hacer. Suelo procrastinar entre una actividad y otra. Es por eso que me inventé el “calentamiento de idiomas”, cada vez que tengo que estudiar y estoy de un lado a otro hago algo que me de los ánimos para aprender idiomas, así dejo de procrastinar. Intento no presionarme mucho con esto pero honestamente a veces es abrumador porque la verdad es que me gustaría ser mucho más productiva. Me encantaría estar concentrada por más tiempo, me encantaría saltar de una actividad a otra sin problemas, el multitasking es mi habilidad soñada. Pero eso todavía no es parte de mi y tengo que trabajar con los recursos que tengo. Se que tengo otras cualidades, solo debo conseguir mi propia manera de hacer las cosas.

- Problemas con el compromiso -

Este ha sido mi área de crecimiento este año. Para mi es dificil elegir una sola cosa y enfocarme solo en eso. Debo repetirme a mí misma constantemente que no puedo agregar otro idioma a mi rutina, a penas me queda tiempo para los idiomas que ya estoy aprendiendo. Tengo que buscar la manera de mantenerme de mantenerse motivada y comprometida en todas las áreas de mi vida y a veces es agotador pero sé que es algo que tengo hacer si quiero conseguir algo en la vida. Se que me cuesta hasta terminar un libro, pero me encanta un buen desafío. Así que compre un libro en holandés. Sé que si lo compraba iba a sentir la obligación de leerlo en lugar de si lo hubiera tomado de la biblioteca. Es un recordatorio de que tengo que terminar todo lo que empiezo. EL compromiso siempre ha sido mi mayor debilidad. Pero eso no quiere decir que me prohibo aprender idiomas que me llaman la atención, de hecho, suelo seguir los consejos que mi querida Chrissa compartió en el post anterior. Me doy la oportunidad de disfrutar nuevos idiomas sin profundizar mucho en ellos. Estoy aprendiendo a mejorar en este área y me doy todo el tiempo que necesito. Honestamente, si yo no soy paciente conmigo misma ¿Quién los será?

- Aprender Gramática -

Yo definitivamente tengo una relación amor/ odio con la gramática. La necesito porque me encanta hablar correctamente. Es super importante. Pero me aburro muchísimo con los libros de texto, necesito una manera más práctica de aprenderla. Quizás es porque hasta ahora solo he aprendido por inmersión o quizás sea el hecho de que a veces me cuesta concentrarme. Todavía tengo que a averiguar qué es lo que me pasa con la gramática. Tengo aprender más pero es que a veces no lo disfruto tanto. Esta es la razón por la cual casi nunca me has visto con libros de texto. Es más creo que intentare hacer mas sentence mining y revisar la teoría cuando tenga dudas. Me siento mucho mejor compartiendo esto con ustedes y obviamente voy a buscar mejorar en estos aspectos. Quizás la sorpresa que Chrissa y yo tenemos preparada para junio me ayude con esto. Pronto te contaremos más al respecto. De todas formas, por ahora simplemente concluyamos que todos tenemos áreas de mejora. ¿y tú? ¿Te sentiste identificado o solo piensas que soy floja? Mari

Meine schlimmesten Gewohnheiten beim Sprachenlernen

Der Sinn dieses Blogs ist ehrlich zu sein, denn so so sehr ich es liebe, all die guten Dinge zu teilen, empfinde ich es aber auch als wichtig all die Dinge zu teilen, in denen ich nicht die Beste bin. Es ist gut zu bemerken, was nicht so gut läuft wie du denkst, so dass du deine Gewohnheiten beim Sprachenlernen zu besseren ändern kannst. Persönlich, denke ich nicht, dass es gesund ist seine Fehler zu verstecken. Ich meine, ich laufe nicht umher und erzähle jedem von meinen Fehlern, aber ich erkenne sie wenn ich denke, dass ich einige von ihnen dadurch verbessern könnte. Es befreit einen über solche Dinge zu reden und zu wissen, dass wir nicht die Einzigen sind, die diese Dinge tun. Vielleicht kannst du dich damit identifizieren oder du wirst denken, dass ich wirklich faul bin. Für mich ist es OK, egal was du über mich denkst.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

- Sich an einen Plan halten -

Ich versuche es! Eigentlich liebe ich Pläne, aber manchmal kommen mir meine Gefühle in den Weg und am Ende mache ich gar nichts. Ich erledige nie wirklich so viel wie ich gerne würde. Ich muss kurze Pausen zwischen einer Aktivität und einer anderen machen, ich kann nicht direkt vom Editieren eines Videos übergehen zum Italienisch lernen. Auch wenn es das Beste wäre es zu tun. Ich prokrastiniere oft zwischen einer Aktivität und der nächsten, deswegen habe ich mich selbst überzeugt, dass ich, bevor ich eine Sprache lerne, eine “Warm-up Session” machen sollte, die mich in den Sprachlern-Modus bringt. Ich versuche mich nicht zu sehr auf solche Dinge zu konzentrieren, aber um ehrlich zu sein, fühle ich mich die meiste Zeit überfordert, denn ich wäre gerne produktiver. Ich würde gerne länger fokussiert sein, ich würde gerne von einer Sache zur nächsten springen, Multitasking wäre meine Traumfähigkeit. Aber das bin nicht ich und ich muss mit dem arbeiten, was ich habe. Ich weiß, ich bin gut in anderen Sachen und ich muss meinen eigenen Weg finden Dinge zu tun.

- Ich weiß nicht wie ich dran bleiben soll -

Das war das Hauptgebiet, in dem ich dieses Jahr gewachsen bin. Es ist sehr schwer für mich, mich an eine Sache zu halten und wirklich dran zu bleiben. Ich muss mir dauernd sagen, dass ich nicht noch eine Sprache zu meiner Routine hinzufügen kann, ich habe kaum Zeit für die, die ich ja schon lerne. Ich muss Wege finden, um dran zu bleiben und auch motiviert zu bleiben, in allen Bereichen meines Lebens. Manchmal nimmt dies mir meine ganze Kraft, aber ich weiß, es ist etwas an das ich mich gewöhnen muss, wenn ich wirklich etwas im Leben erreichen möchte. Ich kann kein Buch beenden, aber ich liebe neue Herausforderungen, also habe ich mir ein Buch in Niederländisch gekauft. Denn ich weiß, wenn ich es gekauft habe, dann lese ich es eher als wenn es einfach nur aus der Bibliothek wäre. Ich habe es als Erinnerung daran, dass ich alles beenden sollte, was ich anfange. Verpflichtung war schon immer eins meiner Probleme. Ich halte mich nicht davon ab ein Verlangen nach andere Sprachen zu haben, eigentlich befolge ich viele der Tipps, die meine liebe Chrissa in ihrem letzten Beitrag geteilt hat. Ich gebe mir selbst die Möglichkeit neue Sprachen zu genießen, aber ich verpflichte mich so wenig wie möglich, denn das ist alles, das ich momentan bewältigen kann. Ich lerne besser in diesem Bereich zu sein, und ich gebe mir so viel Zeit wie ich brauche, um es zu lernen. Um ehrlich zu sein, wenn du nicht geduldig mit dir bist, wer soll es sonst sein?

- Grammatik lernen -

Ich habe eindeutig eine Beziehung aus Liebe und Hass mit Grammatik. Ich brauch sie, denn ich möchte gerne richtig sprechen können. Grammatik ist alles. Aber ich langweile mich mit Textbüchern, und ich brauche wirklich praktischere Wege, um es zu lernen. Vielleicht liegt es daran, dass ich bis jetzt Sprachen nur durch Immersion gelernt habe oder vielleicht ist es die Tatsache, dass ich mich sehr leicht ablenken lasse. Ich muss immer noch herausfinden, was es mit mir und der Grammatik auf sich hat. Ich will wirklich gerne mehr lernen, aber ich genieße es nicht so sehr. Das ist der Grund, wieso du mich selten über Textbücher reden sehen wirst. Ich denke, dass ich womöglich bei “Sentence Mining” bleiben werde und nur kurz eine Nachprüfung anstellen werde, wenn ich Zweifel habe. Ich fühle mich besser es mit der Welt zu teilen und ich werde definitiv daran arbeiten. Ich muss sagen, vielleicht ist die geheime Sache, die wir für Juni vorbereitet haben, eine Chance für mich besser darin zu werden. Bald wirst du wissen, worüber all dies ist. Auf jeden Fall, für diesem Moment, wirst du verstehen, dass wir alle Probleme haben. Hast du dich damit identifiziert oder denkst du ich bin faul? Mari