#I might have destroyed your childhood and I'm truly sorry for that

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GALE DEKARIOS *  assorted dialogue from baldur's gate 3

is that... is that truly you? i thought i might never see you again.

i love you, more than i've ever loved anyone. and you've proven your love for me in more ways than even the greatest mathematicians would dare to count.

you licked a dead spider. dead spider. you licked it. that is something that happened.

i think we need to get you some air and perhaps have a long talk about unresolved childhood issues.

stop licking the damn thing!

i see the art of eloquence is alive and well.

i'm awed, impressed, and a little bit scared of you right now.

nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit.

i've never wanted to kiss you more than i do now.

right now, i need nothing more than a kiss.

tell me you feel the same way. tell me you want what i want. please.

i'll always have you.

you really would prefer me as i am?

do you doubt me?

you put the stars to shame.

let's sit here another while - i want to drink you in.

there you are.

you led me down this path.

i don't know myself anymore.

all this... it's not who i am. around you, i'm not who i want to be.

you really are absolutely heartless, aren't you?

i was hoping you'd spare me a moment.

this seems as good a time as any for me to stop babbling on.

i think you're rather wonderful. and that's not a word i waste on anyone unworthy of it.

go. enjoy your evening.

i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities.

i promise we'll make it work, if you'll have me.

what are you doing? stand back! now!

i thought i meant more to you than a sacrificial lamb. clearly i was mistaken.

you've brought me right where i need to be. i have no right to ask more of you.

you're plotting something, aren't you?

i go where you go.

i'm telling you, this is a mistake.

don't worry too much. a handful of powerful spells go a long way.

hold on! it's not too late to settle this without bloodshed.

mercy is not your strong suit, is it?

well... so much for my previous sentiment.

the choice is yours. there's really no good decision to be made here.

i'll be delighted to see you try... from a safe distance.

how generous of you.

there has to be a way to stop this thing!

i have no desire to end your life. you know that.

i see the glint in your eyes. you've a strategy in mind. the same one as me, i'd wager.

well, now that we know what it is, i suggest we leave it well alone.

better be careful around here.

i'll miss you, friend. your companionship has been quite the education.

i won't lie. i miss our group.

don't worry, i'll handle matters from here.

i'm ready. are you?

we must discuss it privately.

have you lost your wits? you must not do this!

we can't afford to let that happen.

they say madness and genius are separated by but a hair's breadth. perhaps the same is true of madness and stupidity.

you make me sound like some preening peacock.

i'm taking notes. making observations.

you're adorable even when you're teasing me.

you know what, i think i've clearly had far too much wine. and you've had nowhere near enough.

don't worry about me. i'm quite content to enjoy the party from here.

don't let me drag you away.

that, my friend, must remain a secret.

i do hope you know what you're doing.

might be the wine talking.

why am i doing this?

i'm sorry it had to come to this.

i'm going to bed. perhaps this was all a mistake.

careful. you don't know what i'm about to ask.

kill me, and i'll destroy the city anyway.

i want it to be perfect.

stay with me a while, will you?

i'm in love with you.

i'm many things, but coy's not one of them.

listen, i need to speak to you.

i might need you to be more specific.

i regret many things in life.

we all have our burdens, one way or the other.

i am as honored as i am enamored.

i am not the only one who longs for you... yet you chose me.

my time is yours. what do you need?

tell me, what can i do for you?

you need me?

you look... comfortable.

[farfromstrange]

New Year's Day | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You recount your history with Matt and the highs and the lows of your relationship.

Warnings: Fluff, descriptive writing & lack of dialogue, mentions of blood, but this is mostly very tame

Word count: 2.5k

A/n: This One-Shot is dedicated to my bestie, @blackshadowswriter. I'm a bit late, and I'm sorry for that. It took me a bit to finish. I just want to tell you how much I love and appreciate you. I also know you love Taylor, so I thought "why not write a fic and use as many song references as possible? She's going to LOVE that!" You're my favorite person in the world and you deserve this. I love you. I'm all out of words because I'm anxious as hell about showing you this. It took me two days to finish. I wanted it to be as good as I could make it. I'm still not 100% sure, but I never am when it comes to giving gifts. I hope you like it <3 (This is also why I'm not tagging anyone else because this is a gift for my best friend and I intended it as such)

From the moment you bumped into him on the corner street of your favorite café, you knew that he was the kind of chance that would only come around once in a lifetime.

It wasn’t like you, at least not back then, to buy a stranger a coffee. And it was even less like you to give him your number afterward.

You had never been big on dating at that point in your life. You used to take things exactly the way they came to you, and dating never really seemed to fit into that narrative.

You preferred to lose yourself in your own world, a world where no one could touch or hurt you the way you’ve been hurt so many times in the past by people who claimed to care about you—people who claimed to love you, and in the process, you lost sight of the fact that there are still a handful of good people out there.

No one can blame you for thinking like that though. Your heart has been broken one too many times, and not just by broken relationships. 

Deep down, you craved to find someone capable of understanding all of you, not just the pretty parts. You almost felt pathetic for pretending you didn’t need it and still thinking that way.

But deep down, you craved to find someone who wouldn’t be afraid of sticking around, someone who would never leave you because life tends to get hard.

It seemed nearly impossible to find a person like that without breaking your own heart, so you decided to retreat into your shell. Better to keep your heart safe and protected than put yourself out there and be broken all over again, right?

Those stupid love songs on the radio and the endless romantic stories of your friends’ dating lives, however, fueled your need for the same kind of connection only a few songwriters know how to put into words.

You wanted to fall in love, find the right person, and heal. You wanted to figure out why love wasn’t like the burning red of sex and passion but golden, like daylight. A love living for. A love fighting for.

You felt so stupid, secretly pining for an innocent childhood dream that eventually got crushed after years of heartbreak, but that is what happens when someone becomes chronically lonely. You turned to daydreaming because at least in your head, your life could be perfect. Not just good, not just livable, but filled with love and happiness.

Truth be told, when you’re your own worst enemy and have an inner saboteur set out to destroy everything that could be remotely good for you because you truly believe you don’t deserve it, it’s hard to allow yourself to be open. So perhaps that is why you chose to lock yourself away and live in delusion instead. Not facing reality became standard procedure in your way of life.

You tried blaming it on your past, your broken relationships, and disappointments, and while that played a big part in your trauma, you also slowly started to realize that you might have been hurting yourself so you wouldn’t have to open up ever again.

In an attempt to erase all the problems, you became the problem. You became your worst enemy, someone chasing ghosts that stayed long in the past and only came back to haunt the living shit out of you. But that’s a survivable condition. 

You tried therapy, you tried turning your life around and starting anew, and while that helped you find a job you love, find a nice group of friends, and make peace with what’s been broken, nothing else seemed to change. 

You had barely started putting yourself back together again when you bumped into him. You were late for a meeting, so your focus was on your phone instead of the street before you.

It was your fault. He was just trying to make his way over the sidewalk, his cane tapping in a steady rhythm to make his way forward, and you stepped right in the middle of it. 

You remember him grabbing your arm, catching you before you could fall. He wasn’t even irritated. When you looked up in shame, seeing the red glasses and the came, you begged for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t looking. Are you okay?”

But before you could go on a rant about your stupidity, he cut you off, and in the silkiest voice possible, he said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. Are you?” 

“What?”

“Are you okay? You seem in a bit of a rush. Don’t want you to accidentally bump into a car next.” He chuckled, adjusting his glasses. Blood rushed to his cheeks. “That was a bad joke, sorry.”

You just about melted. “It’s okay,” you found yourself chuckling. “And so am I. I was too focused on my phone. That was my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself. It happens,” he said. He was so calm about it, unlike other New Yorkers you’ve met before.

Maybe the fact that you found him extraordinarily attractive and easy to be around compelled you to ask if you could buy him a cup of coffee to make up for bumping into him, completely abandoning your plans to make it to your work meeting five minutes late.

He introduced himself as Matthew. A lawyer. Not one of those rich defense attorneys who simply do it for the money. No, he does it to help people, and you fell for him right then and there. 

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was destiny, or maybe it was just dumb luck, but that day, when you got home after work, his number in your phone and a stupidly giddy smile on your flushed face, you knew that you’d somehow been enchanted to meet him. 

You never believed in love at first sight until you bumped into Matt Murdock, but the second you did, your life flipped upside down and changed in ways you could have never predicted. 

It is possible that the song playing over the speakers in the café right before you bumped him played a part in how you perceived the interaction. You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. Nothing is ever accidental, and neither was your meeting. It couldn’t have been. 

You found each other when you needed someone, anyone, both of you, and it stuck. Thankfully, it did. 

Summer that year was cruel with New York drowning in an excruciating heatwave. You’d been meeting up with Matt for a couple of weeks, but you didn’t have it in you to put a label on whatever delicate thing was starting to build between the two of you. You didn’t want to wrap your hand around it and accidentally shatter something you could see growing into something more in the future. 

He was unlike anyone you’d met before, and he treated you in a way that made you believe, finally, that you are worthy of love. Not just giving but receiving because Matt himself struggled to see his worth after years of being disappointed and being there for everyone but himself. 

Love is a fragile thing though, and you have never been quite good with fragile things.

After a night of drinking away your sorrows at a nearby bar, you made your way to his apartment. You took a cab, too wasted to find your way there by yourself. You remember that you were crying; you were miserable and loathing yourself for several reasons that didn’t even make sense to you then.

When you arrived there, you knocked on his door. You didn’t get an answer. Just as you started to turn around and make your way back outside, you could hear a thud from the other side of the door. Panic settled in. You didn’t even hesitate before you opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and made your way into the dark interior of his apartment. 

Finding your blind, catholic not-boyfriend in a pool of his own blood, wearing a leather-clad suit with the horns of the devil had not been on your to-do list until that night. Reality hit you just as fast and knocked sobriety back into your senses as the adrenaline started to take over. 

He let out a grunt. Your name passed his lips. He sounded so weak, so fragile, and you just stood there, your heart pumping too much blood for your body to handle. 

“What the fuck?!” you said. You didn’t yell, you didn’t snap, you simply didn’t know how to process this information. 

You were well aware of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen parading outside at night, beating up criminals and giving them a good fright—Matt did not fit the picture you had of the guy until you saw him lying there, obviously injured. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” he said hoarsely. He tried to roll over, but the pain turned out to be too severe. 

Needless to say, he passed out on you without a proper explanation, and you somehow had to use what little you could remember from first-aid to help this bleeding mess of a man. You feared that you would lose him that night, and that was when you realized that, on top of falling for him, you didn’t care who he was, you only needed him to live.

When he woke up to you hovering over him, he groaned. “I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I’d understand if–”

“Don’t talk,” you cut him off with a finger on his lips. You wouldn’t let him push you away. Not after everything you’d been through.

He tried to sit up. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“It’s not exactly something you lead with on a first date. I get it. What I don’t get…”

“I didn’t lie,” it was his turn to cut you off. You remember looking up at him, and you heard him out. You had to. In your mind, there is an explanation for everything, and you were once again proven right at that moment.

He bared his life story to you, how he survived through tragedies no human should ever have to face. How he turned blind, how his senses heightened, and how he lost the one person he could always count on. When his father died, something changed in Matt. He tried to go straight, to do his father proud, but he couldn’t ignore this desperate need for justice forever. He felt cursed. So, he became someone who could make a difference, and not just as a lawyer.

He expected you to walk out, but you didn’t. You saw him for who he was, and you accepted him.

“I think I’m falling for you, and it scares the hell out of me,” you blurted out that night.

He stared at you, his unfocused eyes bewildered, his lips moving soundlessly as he tried to find an answer.

Just when you thought he would break your heart after putting your trust in him, he let out a shaky sigh and he kissed you.

He wasn’t ready to say it back just yet, but he spoke to you through actions that made you feel confident in what you were growing again.

You somehow already knew back then that Matt Murdock would be the man you one day would marry and spend the rest of your life with. 

The truth is, you two have been through a lot throughout your relationship. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t worth it. 

From the moment you met him to the countless dates, sharing coffees over empty takeout containers, kissing in the rain, Daredevil, fighting over the beautiful women in his life that almost broke you, and fighting over his desperate need to push those away who only want what is good for him because he is own worst saboteur.

It all led you down a journey that turned out to be harder than expected and not at all the love story you envisioned, but it still turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. He is the best thing that has ever happened to you. 

You used to run away from happiness out of fear of getting hurt, and Matt did the same. He feared to admit it, but then he met you and he finally realized that running was of no use because you were more than ready to stick around through everything. Through every disaster and heartache—through every broken bone, you stuck around.

You saw something in him from the moment you met that no one can ever take away. You got a taste of heaven from the devil himself, and even though he was darker than the sunshine you wished for in your life, you managed to find a way to bring some light into his life. 

You are sunshine, even on your worst days, and he’s midnight rain. But you love the rain. You love him. 

Your first kiss happened in the rain. He took your hand and asked you to dance, and you did. You danced to the sound of the raindrops pattering against the asphalt beneath your feet, and it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen—Matt engulfed in the soft moonlight, his hand in yours, and a big smile on his irresistible lips. 

You want more of those nights. Even the nights you’ve had to patch him up or hold him as he broke down from all the weight he often enough carries on his shoulders, you want more of those. You want all of them.

You want him and all the strings attached to him, no matter how painful because ever since he can remember, people have walked out on Matt and hurt him in ways you can only fathom. You don’t want to be that person. 

He opened up to you. He decided to be vulnerable. He stood with you through everything and fought for you when you thought you two wouldn’t last.

He gave you his best smile and his tears, and he laughed with you every night that you waited up for him to come home safely. He quickly became the moonlight to your sun—it is a different kind of light, but it is a light that sustains you nonetheless. 

You want all of his laughter and never miss it again. You want his smiles. You want his tears. You want to spend every waking second with him. You want to miss him and welcome him back home after an agonizingly long night of worrying. You want to cheer him up in court and be his lucky charm. You want to wear his initial on a chain around your neck, in Braille, because he got it for you on your birthday. 

“I know I don’t own you,” he said to you, “but I love you. And I know you. I want you to carry me close to your heart the same way I’ll always carry you close to mine.”

And his, you are. You’re no one else’s but his, and even if that sounds a bit territorial, you don’t care. You want all of it and more because it’s Matt you’re talking about, no one else. Not a stranger but the man you love so desperately it hurts sometimes.

All the girls he loved before don’t matter because he’s got you now. You forgave him more times than he probably deserved. You held on when he barely had any strength left. In return, he has shown the same kind of devotion to you time and time again. How can you ever say no to any of that when you are so in love? 

All those memories replay in sudden flashing sequences right in front of your inner eye. You love him more than anyone has ever loved him. You pulled him out of a very dark hole. You saved his life. And he saved yours. 

As he’s kneeling in front of you now, your hand in his and clutching the small, velvety box in his other, your life passes by before your eyes. Your life alone and your life together. You recount every memory in a millisecond, too shocked to even comprehend what is happening. But it is happening. 

Matt Murdock is kneeling on the floor before you, the glitter, confetti, and sticky champagne someone spilled earlier most likely leaving a stain on his good dress pants, but he remains unwavering in his decision to open that little box and show you what he’s been hiding for a while. 

It’s a diamond ring, something he probably took months to save up for. It’s small yet elegant, and it’s staring right at you. He’s taken his glasses off to try and do the same. You would marry him with paper rings, that much is true. 

Matt says your name oh-so-softly. “Will you marry me?” Four words that stop your heart and restart it at the same time. 

He sees right through you. You see right through him. Even in your worst times, you were there for each other, and now he’s asking you to spend the rest of your life with him. Together. To give him all of your days and nights and he will give you all of his in return. He is asking you the question you’ve been wondering if he would ever ask it, and he did. 

The fireworks go off in the distance, in your stomach, everywhere. The new year has rounded the corner. People are cheering and celebrating around you, but you don’t pay attention to them. 

The clock strikes midnight and with the softest smile, you say, “Yes.” You don’t need to tell him that you would do it a million times over because he knows. He knows your heartbeat, and he knows that you would never lie to him. 

He doesn’t waste time to pull you into his arms and kiss you softly, passionately, as if both of your lives depend on it. 

It’s a bit cliché, to get proposed to on New Year’s Eve. To start the new year with the man you love and a ring on your finger. But that only means that you will still be together on New Year’s Day, and all the days after that. 

Matt chose you. You chose Matt. You chose a life together that is as unpredictable as they come, but at least you have each other to hold onto. 

And he will never be just the stranger that you bumped into in front of your favorite corner café ever again. You have him now. Maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you are the mastermind he knows that you are. None of it was accidental. 

And now, Matt Murdock is yours. Forever and always. 

[taegularities]

tw: super vague, non-descriptive mentions of toxic relationships and childhood trauma

so i will fully admit that cmi inspired this and then my brain just ran with it. i grew up in a house where my parents had (and still have) just a very toxic, unhealthy marriage, and i developed a lot of childhood trauma around that. ironically, it turned me into a hopeless romantic, and i very much clung to love stories in books and movies as a means of proving to myself that "love" didn't have to look like that, and now my love of love stories is, i feel, fundamental to who i am as a person.

i didn't know much about forget-me-nots before cmi, but their meaning of truest love, devotion, and respect just RESONATED, hence how i arrived here. i meant this as a tribute to all of the love stories that have kept me going, but it's always gonna remind me of the cmi babies first and foremost since they inspired it. 💙

are. you. fkn. kidding. me.

ari 😭

look, i'm so sleep deprived and this week was long, so i'm already vulnerable af.. so imagine how our local crybaby (it me) might be looking at her phone rn. LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS, this is the best thing ever, it's as if you pulled a cmi!jk by doing this?? how truly romantic and sweet is that 😭

and ugh ari, i so understand what you're talking about. my family and i have an incredibly loving and respectful relationship with each other now, but there were incredibly rough times growing up and i know they shape us as people.. like i still feel affected by them. so i'm so sorry you had to go through all that, but i'm also so proud that you didn't let it destroy you as a person, that requires a shit ton of courage and you've always struck me as strong af — and so lovely and emphatic. staying true to your tattoo, never forget who you are, how fond you are of those stories and how they affect you.. they're truly so much more valuable than one might think.

god ari, the way i'm trying not to answer this entire ask in capslock. no seriously, i am so fucking flattered and honoured and i will never, never take this for granted. i never knew cmi would ever have such an impact on anyone, so to know it's able to give so much comfort and stay in y'all's memory is.. absolutely insane. thank you for this, i am genuinely lost for words :((( i love you so much and i hope you're living your best life with the healthiest relationships; will always remember this lil bit gesture :(( 🤍

[amazing-spiderling]

For the asks: ❤️💚 and 🖤?

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

Apparently you have to like... write words in order to have written something. That just seems far-fetched to me. ((Sorry XDDD I already answered this one and I'm fresh out of hot takes. IDK what theories people even have.))

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

If you don't like MCU Spider-Man because he's too "uwu baby innocent" then... you're doing it wrong. Yeah, I admit fandom has babyized him, but one of the defining characteristics of Spider-Man, along with power and responsibility and all that is his *anger*. He's either constantly channeling it into something positive, suppressing it, or letting it get out in ways that inevitably destroy his life.

We don't see MCU Peter in that position for most of the movies, that's true- but if you view the trilogy as a long form origin story (as I think it's meant to be), then I think it's reasonable that he doesn't reach his breaking point until May dies in NWH. We see that he's not perfect, not wholly innocent, he's just never been tested in this way- and if he wasn't stopped by a version of himself who had made the mistake of letting his anger take over- he would have done exactly that.

No, MCU Peter didn't kill Norman Osborn. But he wanted to. He *tried* to. He was stopped from doing so, but he still has to live with the reality that it was something he absolutely would have done, and figure out how to make sure he doesn't ever sink to that level, especially when there's another way out.

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

Alright, here's the thing- there is this guy, and like, I get it. On paper, he seems great. Hometown hero, wants to make the city a safer and better place for people to live. Came from nothing but he worked tirelessly to get where he is, despite a difficult childhood and a lifetime of keeping secrets from others that made it difficult for him to get truly close to anyone- (except maybe that one guy he works with). And everybody - they eat this up! They love it! They think, oh he looks so sad, we should give him a chance, listen to him, he just wants to help. But here's the thing, he's lying to everyone! He is NOT a good guy! He might wear fancy suits and have a fancy vocabulary but he is no stranger to violence and he's not above using it to accomplish his goals! And people overlook this because he's wellspoken and charismatic but you should NOT LET YOURSELVES BE FOOLED. DO NOT VOTE FOR FISK IN THE UPCOMING MAYORAL ELECTION! THE FATE OF THE CITY DEPENDS ON IT!!!

[utilitycaster]

Hi! I'm sorry if you've already talked about this, but I was wondering what your thoughts were on Caleb's becoming a professor at the Soltryce Academy? As compared to what some fans thought he would do (going rogue and taking down Cerberus Assembly)

Hi anon,

I don't know if I've talked about this, and I don't think I have at length if I did, so I'd like to thank you for asking me and providing the opportunity for the rant below. If you were simply looking for a brief answer that is only about Caleb, then I do have to ask whether you are familiar with this blog and my whole deal. But also the brief answer is "I think it's beautiful that Caleb carves out a place for himself that harkens back to his childhood dreams, in a world he once thought he would have to remake entirely in order to ever feel at home. The idea that this is somehow a failure, and that the secret good ending is him turning into Batman or perhaps a moderately sympathetic Agatha Christie villain seems unfathomable if you are not stupid and lack all media literacy. Unfortunately being an idiot with no media literacy is somewhat in vogue these days. In this essay I will - "

(and here's the essay)

The ending of Campaign Two felt horribly abrupt when announced: I was among the people who thought so, and who thought so loudly. Yet it finished, after a marathon session, with an ending that, at every turn, showed how profoundly the cast cared about and understood the arcs of the characters they had built and the story that they had told. They truly did, as the advice Brennan repeated recently goes, surprise us with the inevitable. I would not change a thing.

Caleb Widogast, like any good character, was more than the sum of his parts. Yes, he was a sensitive portrayal of a character who had undergone traumatic child abuse and who still was dealing with the aftermath. Yes, he was an equally sensitive portrayal of someone who is primarily speaking in one's second language. Yes, he was a wizard, which rules, and bisexual, which also rules, and he had a magic cat and a great sense of humor. But most of all Caleb was the realization of a coherent goal that was deeply tied into the setting not just of D&D 5e but of Exandria, of Wildemount, of Zemni Fields, and of the Soltryce Academy.

He was once a young man who dreamed of something better and who had a gift for the arcane, and he managed, so he thought, to find a way to rise above his humble origins. His dream was to become a teacher. Trent had other plans, you know the rest, and he woke up in his late 20s, a fugitive, with the magic powers he'd had in his mid-teens, and a life he felt he had nigh irrevocably destroyed. For a time, he lived mostly not because he wished to be alive, but because he felt his death would not serve his goal: his moonshot, to undo the mess he'd made of his past. Along the way, he met a goblin, and then he met a few people more. He started to laugh again, and to become more powerful, and encounter new ideas, and fall in love, and inch by inch, begin to heal - all without yet undoing his parents' death. He made arcane breakthroughs that had nothing to do with altering time and all to do with helping his closest friend. He tentatively found that there were other wizards he could trust, and learn from, and perhaps even care for.

And also, along that path, he learned there were others who pursued secrets about time, and possibility; there were wizards he could not trust but from whom he might have been able to learn. And he sometimes chose not to do so, because somewhere along the line, the plan changed. I don't think Caleb even realized it had until he was faced with his chance. It is worth noting that Caleb's murderous rampage through Vergesson Sanatorium, and his decision to leave Trent Ikithon alive, were separated by no more than a week.

Caleb did not end the campaign fully healed. That's not how this works; that's not even a meaningful or measurable statement. But he did end the campaign having told himself, inch by inch, that moving forward cannot happen while also moving backward. He let go of so many things, recognized they were not to be, and then he finally stood in a room with Essek with an ancient machine that said "you can do it. You can have what you've wanted for so long." And Caleb had planned this, planned it carefully, no paradoxes for him, just his parents living a quiet life half a world away, and he could have done it. In a way, it would have felt inevitable too. And he hears Essek say "Will you do it? I will help you." And he hears Essek say "But I accept my regrets, my thoughts now, and I'm here today with this knowledge, in this moment with you, because of those mistakes." And he hears himself say "Because you're not my cat. My cat is dead." And he sees himself with Frumpkin around his shoulders like a scarf in the tiny hut in the middle of the tundra. And he hears himself say "Yeah, he's always been one to control narrative. And that is a big part of holding onto power, controlling narrative." And he drags some dust up his arm, and disintegrates everything in the room, and burns what's left.

***

My brother works in a middle school (I promise this is relevant). My brother is also an openly gay man with rainbows plastered prominently on various laptop and backpack surfaces. As one might guess, he's had multiple kids come out to him. I think about this when I think about what Caleb said, about how, when the guard changes, will he and Astrid "mangle more children to feed the fields of Wynandir." And I think about what it means to the Assembly, who we know benefited from Trent's actions, who in some cases were well aware of them, to not only have one of his former victims among their number, but to have one in the very school they used to recruit. What it means that both these people publicly gave testimony. What it means to the Soltryce Academy students that there's a teacher they know will believe them.

Caleb has already struck down what he needed to of the Cerberus Assembly.

It's simple. Sometimes happiness looks like a return. Sometimes happiness looks like a boat heading towards the horizon. Sometimes happiness looks like a place to rest. And I think that it's not out of the question to say that to some, happiness does come after a righteous round of revenge. But does not look like that for Caleb, and what's more, while he took the whole campaign to discover how it might look for him - to even believe that it was a thing he could still perceive and one day have - it never, at any point, did.

[sor-vette]

#9.5 Jimin's History of Having Bad Birthdays

“It’s a refurbished student housing,” you explain as they trail after you like ducks in a row. Even if they don’t understand what you’re saying, they seem to be clinging to every word. Wherever you look there’s always at least one pair of doe eyes staring expectantly back at you a.k.a. what do you do when you open your doors and find a certain retired boyband for some reason wants to move in

▶ type: ot7 x fem! reader (poly)

▶ word count: 2.8k

▶ t/w: toxic masculinity, internalized homophobia, implied eating disorder, throwing up, anger issues, mention of sex, implied cheating, brief mention of Covid, a whole new layer of angst

▶ series’ masterlist

▶ other works

▶ a/n: this is the third FOURTH SEVENTH time trying to post this and I'm already there in wanting to throw eggs at the staffs building. Sorry for not adding read more but I have to edit on the app now because of error on laptop and there's no option to do that here :( Despite everything though, this is my personal favourite chapter yet, don't know why though

Jimin was four when it happened. The Curse.

...

Okay, so he might be embellishing a little bit but he was four and back then losing a friend felt like an entire world crashing around. His friend - a fellow four-year-old, named Sung-Ho - had to move because his father found a better job. They had put up an apocalyptical tantrum. Jimin particularly was inconsolable… up until two hours later when he was given a new toy. Though they both promised each other to write there were several things to consider:

- They were four

- It was the late 90's

- They didn't know how to write

Still, as Jimin grew older and Sung-Ho's face became but a vague memory documented in a few, faded childhood photos, he still reckons that this was when the tradition of having bad birthdays began.

On his 5th birthday, he hit his head and had to spend the day in the hospital.

On his 6th birthday, no one from school would come to his birthday party even though Jimin handed out quite a few handmade invitation cards. At least, he didn't have to share the cake that his mother had spent hours making.

On his 7th birthday, he got beat up. Whether for looking a certain way or behaving a certain way, didn't really matter, not to the bullies at least. Jimin though hated his body, too weak to protect himself.

On his 8th birthday, the bike that his father bought got caught up in a car crash and was destroyed. His father was alright and after the frightening sight of his mother becoming deathly pale when hearing the news, he didn't care much for the lost present.

On his 14th birthday after a series of violent altercations and one very tense meeting with a counsellor, he was given the judgment of poor anger management. He pretended it didn't hurt him. What was so bad about it? So he was hot-headed, many people were, nevertheless, at home he cried himself to sleep, muttering through shallow, panicked breaths that he wasn’t a bad kid. He wasn’t.

He thought that the 14th birthday would be the worst to come.

He was wrong.

Perhaps this thought was heard and not by kind ears because the universe immediately set to work to truly make the most horrendous birthday two years later.

It’s October 12th, 2012, very, very late evening and he along with the rest, save for Jungkook, found themselves standing in front of a weathered tarot shop, near Daehangno. He tried so hard to remember it later, clung to every detail that the old witch spewed in front of a crystal ball but near sixteen-year-old Jimin was an arrogant little punk and hadn't listened much to her. Had adult Jimin had the chance he’d choke the little bastard. Because of him, his life was very sour.

Soulmates and red is all he remembered.

A woman clothed in red, their last soulmate. They laughed at her and at the notion. Ignored her hexes for not listening and unkindly told her to stuff it. Shit was crazy. They were all soulmates and had to find the eighth one, yeah right. Jimin was actually the loudest to laugh about it then even if he secretly thought it would be a lovely idea - to be meant to love someone and be meant to be loved. They’d be tied to him and couldn't leave like his many “friends” had. Of course, after a brief shake in the rain, he scoffed at the proposal.

Soulmates.

What girly bullshit meant to be discussed in between giggling circles. He was a man, he was not meant for this! Especially to love other guys. What a preposterous idea. But because the universe doesn’t tolerate fifteen-year-old brats running their mouths too much about the divine order, no less than thirty minutes after Jimin is forced to eat his own words. To choke on them, to hack, to later die because of them.

He turned from his cup of noodles, to see why Jin had suddenly started shaking and found red. So much red. So bright.

He couldn't look away. It was raining and murk had enveloped Seoul like an impenetrable dome. Everything black, everything dark, even the light of the corner store seemed somehow muffled but not the red. Not you.

They were all scared. Terrified out of their minds by the woman in red. Jimin presumed that at that moment they did believe, for maybe a second they believed that there was a reason for all of this but unfortunately the second passed and they were left to make judgments. A stupid, braindead decision, bred and nestled in fear.

Jimin spent years silently screaming at all of them for that night. They'd done nothing, hadn’t even moved and after a fleeting glimpse, your red melted away. Back into the night of the world, never to be seen again.

Still reeling from the experience they left Daehangno and Jimin glanced at Jin’s watch. 00:05. October 13th. Means you left his sight at exactly 00:00. The Curse had worked.

So Jimin did what he knew then best - he got angry.

He hated you. Everything was your fault. If he slipped, it was because you distracted him, if he messed up it was because he was thinking of you, if he loathed every inch of his body, it was because of people like you, who taunted him every waking moment. He cursed you with words he wouldn’t dare repeat to anyone living or dead. From morn to evening, from day to night if he would do so much as bump his knee, he would put all the world’s blame on you. And most of all he hated how you possessed him. It drove him up the wall that when he talked to a girl, he wasn’t thinking of a smooth pick up line, no, there was just you. What would you look like? Would you tug your hair like the girl in front of him did? Did you wear pleated skirts or were you more of a tomboy similar to the one who threw an empty cola can when he tried to smooth talk her into sparing some money.

On his 17th birthday, he is hunched over the toilet bowl, cold sweat clinging to his forehead. He’s exhausted, bone-thin, having just finished vomiting the bare slivers of food he ate and yelling at the rest of his "soulmates". He spends his birthday in the company of the toilet. One would think this was his worst birthday but it wasn't. Once again Jimin goes rabid with rage because even in this state, you dare to make him think that losing you was worse.

On his 18th birthday, he's balls deep into a very pretty stranger he met at the bar. It should be a happy day but it feels hollow. He can't stop thinking about how Jungkook will have those big eyes filled with hurt when he smells a different perfume on Jimin's clothes, how Taehyung will give him a disappointed sigh and Yoongi will pretend he doesn't exist. He can't stop thinking about whether you were in this situation, pressed against someone, moaning and writhing in the expert hands of a similar faceless stranger.

He grips the headboard of the hotel bed and starts ramming into his partner so fast and so hard they stop faking it. (Jimin wasn't entirely oblivious). After they leave, he goes to drink again. The bottle of his beer has a vague outline of a lady in a red coat. He cries upon her figure for so long and so desperate he had no soul left. He cries all his hatred out and when the thought comes, of how would he feel if he ever had to hear what he threw towards you, he wants to die.

He holds all the red he can find - napkins, pens, notes and wails in front of them like a sinner facing an altar.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

You were an innocent person, what had you done to deserve this? He felt like a monster. If the universe was fair he would never meet you. It would protect you from the hands of this wretched creature wearing his skin.

After that evening his birthdays are neither bad nor good. Monotonous. Years piling but their marking remaining as lifeless.

He gets better. Goes to the therapist and stops hating everything that touches his way. Stops hating his body and finds that his fingers are not claws, his ribs - not proverbial horns to be crushed. His form is not a putrid blob etched like an ink spill across the many straying lives. He was just Jimin, in his faults and his blessings.

He is the third one to embrace the fact that they were soulmates or maybe fourth. The first and second was the obvious choice, the third one typical in his fashion remained mysterious. Jimin, however, is the first to verbalize it, his therapy sessions made him acutely aware of the words and their connotations.

The word "soulmate" was tainted for them, by their fear, from that night, so Jimin makes it his mission to change it. He does so lightly, cracking jokes about Taehyung being his soulmate. Hoseok nearly flings himself off the chair when he lets it casually slip by. They, of course, don't mention it, the entire thing remains unspoken and maybe that's the problem. Jimin found it easier to breathe, once he accepted it as though the World had stopped hammering it into his skull and was now patting him down for being a good boy. And after some time, after much growth, none of it easy, but necessary, they begin to speak about you, about being soulmates - with no malice or scorn.

They accept that they're each other's home, whether meant to or not. It happened to be so. But home was unfinished and as they grow older the draft through the rooms of their being flows too heavy to be left unnoticed. More often the thoughts of you are spoken aloud. At first, in pairs of two's. Would you like the coffee they were drinking? Would you like this lake in New Zealand that they travelled to? Would you laugh at the mushroom-shaped retro wig Jin had to wear for a photoshoot?

Then gradually, nevertheless with recklessness, the yearning spills from their mouths more and more until every conversation is about you, every longing, heartbroken lyric is about you. Late-night drives where there is just them and the dark are dedicated to you, dedicated to the long discussions they revolve around the questions of your existence. Editors have to suffer for hours, cutting every little curious, pining, regretful remark from the archives of their never-ending film.

Jimin was happy to hear it. Happy to smooth some balm over the wounds he carved on your name. He was the one with the Curse yet he felt you must be an exceptionally unlucky girl, had to be stuck with their poor excuse of soulmates.

When his 26th birthday comes around, the world is a mess. Everything has turned upside down and now there is a new layer added - fear. Fear for you. It was no small chance that you could get sick, that you could die without ever knowing that there were seven people breathing worry about your safety.

That birthday was as unremarkable as the previous, or the next one will be, he presumed. Jimin walked along the bridge, candle and cupcake in hand. He blew, snuffing out the single beam of light in the night. If there was anyone listening and if they could find some pity in their hearts, his only wish was just to see you, to know that you were alright. He asked of nothing more, just a single glimpse and he'd be gone out of your life for good. He dared not to dream of more, to plead for your love. After everything he'd done, he did not deserve it.

But one thing was thinking alone on a bridge in Seoul, another to stand in front of your door or rather lie in Jimin's case. He spots the familiar red suitcase in the corner of the empty hallway and gives it a soft smile as if to say "hello, old friend".

The reality that you were here, you'd become true regurgitates in the forefront of his awareness that the giddiness just doesn't stop. They're drawn to you like moths to a flame, like bull to a red flag. Even Hobi who right from the start insisted that they had no right, no right to invade your life, to drag you into their mess when they cast you aside, even he could not stay away. He fought, fought to all his might but in the end strayed not a single step outside your orbit. And Jimin who tried to remember that he doesn't deserve this, couldn't stop craving.

They did think they should leave, they yearned and whined with such ardour, it only drove you away but then you came home drunk that one Friday and they saw the full extent of what their fear did to you. When they were coddled up in warmth, no matter how denied, you were alone. Alone in the cold. Not even waiting, you had not known they would be coming for you.

Bad circumstances, bad people, bad decisions seizing your days, year after year. They were surprised you were even here. No wonder you wanted no one.

That night was the worst they've ever had. They spoke little but thought a lot and in the morning light, they settled for atonement. They'd pushed you on a hopeless path once, now they would build you a better one instead. And if you told them to fuck off when push came to shove, they'd bid their heads gracefully and exit stage left.

It's another October 13, Jimin's birthday, and he scarcely begins to believe the Curse is lifted. You don't understand why is he so happy, it's written all over your face, but Jimin vibrates with joy. He doesn't care that every lungful smells of fish or that there is nothing glamorous lying around. Right now to him, this small wharf is a piece of Heaven he hadn't dreamt of seeing.

He hides in your neck when the movie comes, not because he was scared, the "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" wasn't what he considered as dread-inducing, but because he could. He could feel the warm skin underneath his lips and a steady beat of a heartbeat, very much alive, very much so undeservedly kind to him.

He still can't say what he needs to. He has to respect the decisions of others but moreover, he doesn't know how to say it. How can he put into words literal years of both insanity and adoration, of worship and slander? The last thing he wants is to hurt you and the truth will hurt. He thinks that it might just destroy you, the way it destroyed him in that hotel room.

He spins a hypothetical tale of this someone, some one, The One. Semantics, wasn't it. And you tell him, it's okay, the filth...it didn't matter because it never made it real in the physical sense but Park Jimin if anyone, knew how much words hurt, sometimes even whispered in your own ear.

You touch his heart and he wants to give it to you, in a gory, self-sacrificing way but he settles on more socially acceptable hand-holding. You don't know yet that this heart beats for you - it aches, it breaks and it can't look you straight into the eye. There's so much that neither you nor Jimin know. Like his next birthday. Perhaps it will be even better, or perhaps he will be once again weeping red. No one knew where their paths could lead, especially if they were so goddamn stubborn about it.

"I'm such an idiot," you utter, bathed in sunlight and Jimin could swear you were not made of this Earth but of stars, so distant and lovely.

"I didn't bring you a piece of cake or a candle. You could have made a birthday wish by the seaside."

Jimin cares not for any more wishes. He'd made one, back in Seoul, and it was sitting right next to him.

He shrugs as the last light of the fading sun, disappears over the horizon, his birthday candle if he wanted.

"Don't worry," he smiles, cataloguing every bit of your face to memory, building his finished home. "It came true."

previous ⟷ next

[monstrouslyobsessed]

HELLO !!! not really a question or something but thank you for your works 🙆 they truly satisfy my hidden monsterfucking kinks 🤭 ANYWAYS PLEASE DO CONTINUE WRITING ): I REALLY LOVE THEM SAUURRR MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR NEW WORKS SOON !!! keep safe and mwah w/ consent 🙏🏻 —anonymous

🥰ahw tysm for reading my works!! i'll do my best, even though i'm slow as shit about it, aha. i'm forever grateful for all your support and it is super appreciated!! <3

Hi, I'm over 20 college student who loves reading dark writings or yandere concepts and just recently found your blog and amazing works. Although requests are closed and I don't want to cause you any trouble, I'm curious whether you're still open for Alucard(Hellsing ) writes,, I have fallen in love with Hellsing and most of all, Alucard and your last writing of Alucard as Vlad the Impaler was so fantastic,, I was hoping to see a prequel version of it(like, HOW Vlad met the reader, and judging from her POV it's likely that the reader was unwilling to become a vampire, let alone become his bride)... it's been quite a while since you wrote Hellsing but I wonder if you're still willing to write a piece of Alucard later on??? Your work of Alucard was truly a masterpiece, and it's sad to think that this is the only Alucard piece in your amazing blog.—anonymous

tbf i kept the backstory between alucard and his turned darling super vague because idk myself tbf;;; there's too many possibilities, from a victim of slavery, war, orphan, childhood friend, etc. possibly! i'm down to write specific animes and whatnot i'm familiar with, i'm just more comfortable writing one-off ocs and monsters because i always just sort of felt like i'd be doing the existing characters wrong somehow?? plus i haven't been reading or seeing many medias these days (not a huge tv show watcher;;; my attention span is that bad, been trying to pick up reading books and mangas again though, personal distastes about certain popular shows aside). yeah i live under a rock.

that said, i do see alucard forcing his darling to hibernate and stashing them away in hiding somewhere when he sensed he was being hunted after and that they will destroy his darling, be it using them up as a gruesome science experiment or just outright killing them. supposed the darling was found and being used as a lab rat though...

we'll see if i ever get around it lmao i have a long to-do list 😭thank you so much for your kind words!

The drawing is definitely ok and you’re an amazing artist 🥰 —anonymous

daw thank you! i really should draw more, huh? <3

I can't stop reading your work! It's amazing. Can I request a continuation of the Pyramid Head fic? —anonymous

i'm not open for requests, sorry! that said, im not sure how to write a continuation for him exactly. i shared some headcanons somewhere in my blog about the fate of his darling and him. plot wise? its still vague to me. other than never-ending smut and, well, 'creating' bunch of monstrous creatures from all the breeding the butcher is doing to his darling, i'm still chewing on ideas.

i'll take notes tho to consider it some more though, ty for your kind words <3

status update: writing is slow. got stuck at where to go in the male ursula knock off piece so i might go and find another wip to work on just to publish something. anyway, concept and headcanons are open. maybe writing something sfw would knock the writers block out.

hope yall are staying cool and safe for those who are dealing with the horrid heatwave! please drink some water to stay hydrated <3 for the others doing ok with their weather, be good to one other, mwah!

edited: missed a question, whoops.

[richmond-rex]

Honestly, idk why people focus so much on Edward as the 'strong hot young warrior king™' when the most interesting thing about him is how the inexperienced young king became a successful ruler, his policy making, the way he attempted to cement his dynasty in terms of the 'iconography' of English monarchy. The warrior king image is just boring tbh, and not really an accurate representation of him imo.

As for Richard, he is more interesting to be because of his personality (as much as we can glean), the coup and the murder of the princes; I laugh when people treat him like this innovative ruler who was centuries ahead of his time. Like, sure, he was a competent administrator and a successful duke, and it would have been fascinating to see how the policies he inaugurated would have turned out had he reigned longer. But he reigned for such a short time, unintentionally destroyed his own house - dear God, John was technically a better king than him. Basically all he has going for him in terms of fascination is being a schemer, and white washing him into a Byronic hero just makes him totally boring. Plus I'm always really uncomfortable with Ricardians pushing the 'young hot ruler' narrative, because whilst he died at an objectively young age and probably wasn't unattractive, they're almost always doing it to distract from his scoliosis, which is a) super abelist b) how he must have felt about his scoliosis at a time when disability was thought of a sin, how he dealt with it and became such a formidable warrior despite chronic pain - is the most interesting speculation to be had about him.

Can't stand how Yorkist fans treat George, Elizabeth Woodville, Warwick (the most interesting figure of the wotr, imo) and his daughters - and they are the ones in the Yorkist camp! The way they write about the Lancastrians, especially the women, is revolting - I'm a classicist and the way they treat Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort respectively is very similar to how Fulvia and Livia are portrayed, I guess misogyny is just endemic in history huh. Plus, how are there so many stories about Anne Neville mooning over Richard at a time when she would at most have felt friendship and maybe a childhood crush for him, and none on Margaret of Anjou, you know, being overjoyed to be reunited with the husband she hadn't seen in literal years. I feel like the HVI-MoA love story is do under explored because God forbid a non conforming woman and a disabled man love eachother I guess. (The way Yorkists/Ricardians Talk about HVI's disability is just disgustingly abelist tbh)

Idk how people can be so unobjective when studying history? Like, obviously people will have specific figures they find fascinating, but you can't study a period by treating it like a fandom.

Anyways, here's to Ricardians making me feel ashamed of being interested in Richard-the-Bitchard. Sorry for ranting in your inbox, it's only because I love your blog and you always have the best responses. Have a nice night xx

Adding the last message to this ask because I think it's the same anon who sent it. Truly, what else can I add to this message, I agree with so many of these points. I think that instead of highlighting Edward IV's awesome hotness over and over again it would be interesting to point out how incredibly traumatic his coming-of-age was. He was a teenager thrust into a civil war who was forced to carry the banner his father had raised and bear the heavy weight of his father's legacy in that process. He was barely on the threshold of taking command of his own earldom of March because he was still a minor at the time. He lost the brother who had grown up alongside him (Edmund of Rutland) and was forced to avenge his father in bloody battles where he had to command people to kill and die. He was barely allowed to be a young man before a crown was presented as a duty and avenging avenue for him. And that violent coming of age and sudden loss of carefree youth might inform so much of his kingship and personality. Truly, the discussions we could have about it all!

I think I've said my thoughts about Richard III before. I agree about his ambition being one of the most interesting things about him. I disagree about him being a good administrator—he made many crucial mistakes but I won't be talking about them here. There's this idea that he invented bail (he didn't), freedom of speech (William Collynbourne would like to have a word), and some other equally ludicrous claims. There was some degree of reformation laws that were passed during his reign but as Pollard (who has studied parliament in 15th century England) pointed out any laws debated in parliament were the result of decades of long discussions, and hardly the will of a single reigning monarch. I agree that Richard III's disability—when people are even conceding to call it that—should be discussed more instead of erased or summed up as: 'he could walk just fine without a limp'. I wish people would talk more about the debilitating aspects of mental illness when discussing Henry VI too.

The rest of the members of the house of York truly get the short end of the stick. It's incredible how much antagonism I've seen directed not only at George of Clarence and Richard Neville (incorrigible traitors in their eyes... as if the Duke of York had not been a traitor himself, the irony is lost on them apparently) but also, somehow, Anne Neville! Some people seem to think she simply wasn't good enough for her husband, be it either because she 'died on him' or simply because she didn't give him more children. Misogyny for the win! If someone made Richard III look bad, just like Elizabeth Woodville did, then they're little better than the scum of the earth. Misogyny truly is endemic to all areas of study (and society) unfortunately so it's not surprising to find it when discussing history but all the same, it's disappointing. Thank you for providing that parallel with Fulvia and Livia, I will look more into it.

I don't think the problem is exactly the fandom approach to history—I mean, I think I understand what you mean, the partisan approach to history is counterproductive and creates abominable takes like the ones we've been discussing, though fandom, as a community for the creation of works of art, discussion, and general sharing of knowledge and love can be a powerful force for studying history. The problem is that some people still don't understand it's possible to have favourite subjects without pissing on everyone else's. Also, I would like people to discuss history from an enlightened 21st-century point of view and not as if they still believed in the divine right of kings or if they were medieval Englishmen talking traditionally nasty things about the Scots, the Welsh and the French because xenophobia is cool and acceptable to them.

Please, don't take anything I've said on this blog as a reason for you to be ashamed of being interested in Richard III. I don't think it makes anyone an inherently bad person to like him, and a single interest doesn't define anyone as a person. How people act towards that interest, though, that's what it's important. Unfortunately, I've had too many people come to yell at me about Henry VII's horribleness and Richard III's 'true kingliness' not to be a bit wary, though.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts again! And for letting me know you appreciate this blog (and my answers)! 🌹x

[lovemxnot]

Worth the burn | Hwang Hyunjin

Firebender! Hyunjin x Avatar! Reader

Letters burned the scroll in your hand, reassuring words etched on them, scorching their presences into it.

“The city is great, they greeted me with much fanfare, and I’ve been having fun with Hyunjin and the others, like old times.

I feel more like myself than ever. Don't worry about me, mom and dad, I'm fine. I feel like I'm truly, finally healing.”

A pang of guilt surged through you, but you shoved it away, ignoring its lingering presence. Sealing the envelope, you gave it to the man standing impatiently next to you.

“The fire nation, I’m assuming?” He sighed, Referring to all the past letters you have sent.

“Wouldn’t bet otherwise.”

You were healing, perhaps not the same way you had mentioned in all of your letters, filled with nothing but the pure lies, but you were searching for a way- a way to forget, forgive, and move past what was done to you.

Forgiveness never came easy to you. Everyone around you pestered you into accepting the situation that you may never be the same avatar you used to be. But they had no idea what you were going through; no one did- after all, you were the only avatar alive.

It was humiliating how every day, you got up to move only for your legs to fail you despite daily visits to the most skilled healers.

At one point, you had hope, you could feel your legs again, and day by day, you were getting better until eventually, you learned how to walk again, but it all crashed once you tried combating and could barely throw a punch without images flashing, looming shadows engulfing your vision, sending you straight back square one, flashbacks so strikingly vivid it made you quiver down in terror. You were so ashamed, felt so weak and... helpless. How the once-great avatar’s mind turned against her becoming her gravest nightmare.

But You’ve had enough of wallowing in self-pity. You left your parent’s home, leaving the fire nation to sail to republic city, the city where your nightmare was born, the city where your friends reside, in hopes of confronting your fears and healing. And that was truly your plan, but it went astray.

“The match starts in five minutes, move to the ring,” the announcer reminded you.

You pulled yourself out of your head, wrapping the bandages tighter on your hands. Getting ready for your next match. You can feel the ground shake. The roars of the people at the stands pump your blood.

Today’s opponent was a new one. Never heard of it before; fresh meat. New to the game, alas, putting you at a disadvantage as you knew nothing of them or their bending element. Hopefully, it's not another lava bender. Those injuries of that fight alone had another nightmare simmering in the process.

And although you've mastered all four elements, you choose to fight with the one you were naturally born with-fire.

You stood behind the metal door, secluding you from the ring, hands going up to position, feet grounded, breathing in, then out. It wasn’t your first match, but it always feels like it is, no matter how many times you tried to nerve up.

As soon as the bell sounded, the doors slid open you shot a belt of fire to where you knew your opponent stood. Hoping to catch them by surprise.

Your opponent, on the other hand, skillfully blocked your advances while remaining idle in his place, silky red hood up- the signature of the fire nation, hair covering his eyes, shadowes concealing most of his face.

“What's wrong pretty boy? Afraid to fight?” You baited. The crowd's yelling got louder. They loved it when opponents ridicule each other. You surged another blast of fire their way, but they, once again, blocked it as if they already knew your next move.

“Come on, you know you gotta use your hands to fight, right?”

Nothing.

“Here, let me help” you looped a hoop of fire around their hands - or at least tried to before they counterfeited the attack and sent you flying. Body slamming the jagged wall with a thack that pales compared to thunder. But you were used to it by now.

“Alright, now you want to play, pretty boy? "

Using the tiniest amount of airforce, you air bended your way to them faster than they could blink and attacked. But all you were met with was hands blocking your every move.

Their movements were so familiar to you, you obstructed all of their attacks just as well as they blocked yours. It was more of a dance than a fight at this point, every move mirroring the others.

There was only one person that knew you that well. and oh god, did you wish you were wrong about this.

The red streak you glimpsed on his cheek supported your thoughts even more. There was only one person you knew that had that scar. A harsh exhale - laced with a little bit of airbending- blew his hood off, revealing what you wished was not true.

The tiny breeze blew his dark locks out of his face. Giving you a glimpse of his face.

No.

No. No way.

You knew those dark locks. You've run your hands through them enough times to know how they feel even without touching them.

"Hello Y/N"

“Hyunjin...? what are u doing here?!” You knew someday you might run into one of the figures of your past. It was inevitable after all, but not this soon and definitely not him.

“Why, when I heard the avatars look-alike was fighting in underground battles of the lower rinks of basingse I just had to come and get a glimpse myself!” Mockery slid fluidly through his sly smile, “and would you look at that? You do look like her! If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought it was you.”

He was furious, you could tell, even though he masked it with amusement in his voice. To the average eyes, it looked like nothing other than two old friends reconciling. But to you, you knew his blood was boiling by the crinkles of his eyes, the air so thick between you that even airbending it wouldn't help,

Hyunjin was your childhood best friend, and your firebending mentor's son.... and boyfriend. Well, technically, your ex-boyfriend now, seeing as you disappeared on him after the incident, didn't write any letters back for the past year letting him knew you were still breathing.

“Get out of here, I'm not going to fight you” you let your arms rest, blood running cold, fire distinguishing from you. Back turned, you head back outside the arena. You can faintly hear the crowds gasp in shock over the thoughts running in your head. Speaking of your head, it almost got completely scorched with a blast of fire sent your way had you not sensed it early enough and twisted on your hands to get out of its reach.

“Oh no, you don’t. You don’t get to run away. Not again ” He was heaving. He hadn’t moved a step, but he was seething. Another burst after burst was shot at you. “I waited a year y/n! " Oh, how you longed to hear him call your name for so long, but not when he was saying it out of resentment "a whole year just to hear something- anything from you! “

“Hyunjin- stop. I'm not going to fight yo-“

“I. spent. Two. Months. Searching. For .you” fire punctuating every word.

“ Hyunjin i-"

“I thought you were dead !” He punctuated with a blast. This one was charged with so much grievance that the fire was a searing blue. You were not as lucky as before at dodging it, mind catching on to the malice dripping from his voice. Had you not been burned, you would have noticed the tears welling up his eyes.

“Ah,” you hissed in pain.

“You never wrote me back!! But you wrote to Felix?!”

Felix was a mutual friend of yours. A non-bender that you’ve always been very fond of. A younger brother you never had.

“I didn’t know what to say!” You fired back this time, making it his turn to dodge, body ablaze with so much heat you felt it coming out of every limb.

“A simple ‘ hey I'm still alive, by the way, I want to break up with you’ would’ve done!”

“That's the avatar?” “ no way” “ they have a bounty for her head” the mob outside the arena started to murmur, but none of it registered with you.

“ i - I couldn't.....” your resolve faltered, arms dropping. Forgetting completely about the stupid match and the bystanders.

“But you could ghost me for A YEAR and three months?” He scoffed, “ not that I was counting or anything.” He added sneeringly.

“Ever thought I didn’t want to be found?” You snapped back. You had no right to at all. But it just... everything made you snap after the incident. Blame it on insomnia or the delusion or whatever, be it. It drove you crazy. Everything irked you, the sounds of footsteps, the numb feeling you would get in your legs sometimes, the breathing of the person standing next to you- everything aggravated you, you felt your resolve holding on to a thin thread.

Hyunjin, filled with so much fury, lashed on you once again. This time you blocked it, but it drove you roughly back into the unpolished wall. A rock that was jutted out of the wall struck you exactly where you were terribly injured in the attack that incapacitated you. A jolt of electricity crept through your body.

Pictures, more vivid than ever played before your eyes, legs feeling numb, horror swimming in your blood next to the burn of lighting that struck you. Body lying limp, you felt soft hands reach for your face.

“Y/N!” It was the same.

All the same.

You pushed Hyunjin out of shot, and it struck you midair.

The same face that found you after being utterly destroyed, peering over you, with terror and tears etched so deeply in his scarred face.

“ I'm sorry. I’m sorry,” he kept repeating like a mantra, hugging your figure closer, face resting in your neck.

“Please,” he sobbed, “ come back to me.”

Everything was foggy. Was it your eyes or the arena? You had no clue over the video looping in your head.

Lighting, as beautiful as it was, struck you so hard, slipping so gracefully out of your opponent’s fingers, dancing in your nerves, jolting your heart to a stop.

" I'm here." A soft voice pierced through the fog, glints of black and red becoming clearer the more the voice spoke. "I'm always here."

Hyunjin’s pained scream filled your ear” No, No, Chan- please do something! Heal her !”

“I can't lose you again, Y/N.”

Deep brown eyes broke through the fog, followed slowly by the rest of his figure. Hyunjin. That was hyunjin talking to you. The boy you were madly in love with. The boy that never gave up on you. Your eyes welled up seeing him so close- feeling him up so close again.

Fingers softly held your cheeks, your own clenching onto his silky red robe. He didn’t have to speak; his eyes spoke a thousand words. You hid from them in his neck.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," you mumbled into him, tears spilling.

His arms wrapped tighter around you, afraid you’d slip right through if he loosened an inch.

“Let’s go home.”

He didn't need to take you anywhere because right now, you felt more at home than ever.

[lukah-o]

atla rant

bare with me through this little rant as i try my best to explain myself lol. as you can see from my other posts, i'm not the best when it comes to articulating my thoughts. several years of school has done nothing for me unfortunately.

but first, i would like to get this out of the way, i still do believe atla is one of the few good western animated series especially at story-telling. and yes, i understand that this is a "kids' show" but i think it would be beneficial for everyone if they went into more depth on the consequences and process (?) of colonization. she-ra is also a show that fails horribly (in the end) to do the same as well. anyhow...

i rewatched atla a couple of months ago and i was left pondering and angsty over its entirety. i'm so not sorry. i just have to get this off of my conscience. i do not like uncle iroh one bit and i hate how they wrote his character. i hate how they made it as tho he's such a gentle and tea-loving old man.

he's literally a war criminal omfg!!!!! and then he had the gall to be shocked that his son was killed...while he was trying to colonize and destroy a group of people's culture/land/lives. like duh after going from tribe to tribe, pillaging and killing people, that everything would turn out in your favor?!!? i- just wow...and i'm still in shock at this. and the fact that he's able to, in the end, live peacefully and comfortably...wtf?!!! idc about him feeling guilty. he, as well as the other fire war-criminals should face some type of harsh consequences.

and yes i have a soft spot (somewhere) for zuko, but there was rarely ever a scene (especially in the beginning) where i wasn't rolling my eyes in annoyance. i mean...he was such a brat and it seemed as though he lacked any critical thinking or a backbone for gods sake. and he also should've faced some consequences in the end. i mean, he might not have done it as long but he also went around terrorizing innocent people, too.

now...onto my next victim...aang

now don't get me wrong i love the guy and i love him like i adore kutaang...and that's a lot (zutara slander is more than welcomed). i love how they've written him as a pacifist. it's so in line of what i imagined an air-bender would be. i love his childlike nature and just all of him. he's so adorable and idk...his character kinda resonates with you once you think about it. however, it was just that...him being a pacifist was too much and it interfered with his duties as the avatar. anyhow i truly don't have much to say for aang. especially for the fact that he's the last of his kind...that really sucked after letting that alone resonate.

now...for my last victim...just kidding. i've said my piece with the cast (for now), but i would like to give my appreciation to the best of the best *ahem, drum roll please* toph and hama. now i'm sure you don't need yet another introduction to toph and why she's perfect...but HAMA on the other end...she deserves so much more!!!! she was robbed by the gaang themselves. i'm angry at it as i'm writing this. the fact SHE of all people and i mean even out of all of the actual WAR CRIMINALS was IMPRISONED!!!!! I'm still upset to this very day. i mean...yeah she had a few screws loose but she wasn't wrong!!! and she had every reason to do what she's done. that simple fact is why i can't ever hold atla to the same light i originally did.

it's just crazy how your childhood shows had so much wrong with them once you view them later in life...

[nuravity]

During one of the moments where Ochako had to leave the security room to fix the generators, something was heading her way. Having a robotic sound as it moved, it was clear that it was one of the animatronics. However, when it was close enough to be seen, it was an animatronic being she never saw before. It was small, the size of a child like Eri. Instead of looking creepy, it was rather cute. It was more like a toy than a killer robot. The weirdest thing about this little robot was that it wasn't designed after Mineta; it was designed after Deku from his childhood. It was dressed like a butler, and gave Ochako a bow before speaking to her.

"Greetings, Lady Uraraka. Rest assured I'm on your side. Though my creator wishes to remain anonymous, they have the same goal you and the one who calls himself 'Phone Guy' have; to defeat the Baku and free you from this nightmare. As for what you may call me, 'Toy Deku' will do just fine..."

Around that time, Mangled Mineta popped out of the air vent and was about to destroy the generators again.

"Excuse me, good sir," Toy Deku said to the mangled abomination, "But would you be so kind as to not destroy those generators, thank you very much?"

Without so much as a complaint, Mangled Mineta gave the diminutive Deku robot a thumbs up and retreated back into the air vent without touching the generators.

"Yes, my creator gave me the ability to command the animatronics. You were probably tempted to destroy them with your quirk, but they need to be around for what comes tomorrow..."

Toy Deku looked around to see if the cost is clear.

"Come, my lady. It's best we return to the security room. I'll explain everything I can there."

...

Back at the security room, Toy Deku continued his explanation.

"Phone Guy is truly a trustworthy ally... But unfortunately, his power and knowledge is very limited here compared to my creator. He can guide you and send you things, but can't enter this dream and help you directly. But my creator has info and power Phone Guy doesn't have. It's not limitless, though. That's why I was only able to be made a few minutes ago to help you. I'm terribly sorry I couldn't assist you sooner..."

Toy Deku noticed one of the Mineta robots trying to head towards the security room.

"Excuse me, my lady..." Toy Deku said, before teleporting away and telling the other animatronic to go somewhere else, which it did without any resistance. Toy Deku then teleported back into the security room.

"You might have noticed that some of the animatronics have been breaking the rules. Even though you were looking at all the cameras, one of the Minetas nearly got you the other day. It's because the Baku now sees you as a threat and wants to stop your progress at all costs... Even kill you if necessary. Seeing this, my creator knew you needed some help and made me. If this were day one, I wouldn't be able to help you for very long. But since you have two more nights after this, I can help you reach the final day the best I can.

"Now, let me tell you about what's to come tomorrow. This new enemy will be the worst one yet. He's so powerful and wild, even I can't control him. No one can. He's called Nightmare Mineta. According to his backstory, he was once a normal Mineta animatronics like the others you see on stage... Well, as normal as perverse robots who attack attractive female security guards at night can be. However, this particular Mineta robot seemed to take more risks than the others and actually exposed itself as a perverse killer robot. There was an incident known as 'the Grope of 93.' While the Mineta Band began singing their... Very tacky song, one of them just jumped off stage and attacked a poor young woman around your age, violating her by... Well... Groping her. The poor girl did not survive the Grope of 93, and that Mineta robot was thrown into the furnace. That didn't destroy him, though. He came out as just a robotic skeleton, and then found spare parts to upgrade himself into a monstrous version of itself. And what's worse, it's anger and hatred made it go insane, and it will attack anything that moves... Including the other animatronics. That's why we need the others to be around long enough to stall him from coming to the security room. Looking at him on the cameras won't work, and not looking at him won't stop him, neither. He is a feral monster who's only motive is to destroy whatever gets in his way and to attack any girl he finds beautiful... And you are very beautiful, Lady Uraraka, so he will try to come for you if nothing is in his way to stop him from reaching you. So allow these other animatronics to stall Nightmare Mineta until 6AM. Even he can't stay out longer than that. That's our best shot at defeating him. Trying to attack him directly is suicide. He's far too fast and far too strong. By the time your in his field of vision, he'd have already torn you apart before you could throw something at him...

"I'm sorry you had to be dragged into this. My creator and I wish you were never struck by the Baku. You don't deserve this. But you may be the key to defeating the Baku once and for all, and thus saving everyone from him. You see, the reason why no one has ever seen him outside the dream world is because he's actually trapped in the dream world, and he traps others in Nightmares for entertainment as well as spite. He can't be happy himself, so he brings fear and misery to others..."

Ding Dong.

It was 6AM.

"Well, my lady, my job is done for now. I'll see you again tonight..."

Toy Deku shut down afterwards. As if on cue, the phone rang.

"I... Don't know for sure what's going on. I didn't expect an ally to help us. I didn't even know someone had that kind of power to counter against the Baku. I wonder who this mysterious creator of Toy Deku is...

"Well, whoever they are, they made night three much easier. But night four, you'll have to deal with Nightmare Mineta. I really wish Toy Deku could control him as well, but it looks like you'll have to outsmart it somehow..."

People began entering the pizza plex, and the dream was ending.

"Well, even though we've got a powerful foe to deal with next time, we've made it this far. And I'm sure we can outwit a feral beast, especially with our new ally. Two more nights. We can do this. See you tonight, Uraraka..."

The dream ended after that.

Everything seemed to go smoothly with the exception of walking around a lot...before she heard footsteps approaching her and she whipped around. She froze but remembered to use the suit but as she waited in slight fear, she noticed this robot looked not like the others. "Deku? Is that you?" Or was that a toy? Why was he a child...and dressed like a butler?

While those questions weren't answered, he did tell her he wasn't going to harm her and that even the 'Phone Guy' didn't seem to know about him. Who was his creator? Could he help her for the rest of the remaining nights?

Then, she noticed movement behind her and to her horror, it was that mangled up robot! "Watch out!" she called out but was surprised when the Deku lookalike addressed the robot...and the robot listened to his command and turned away. "You managed to stop him! How did you do that?" she asked stunned. With him as her ally, she could easily get through the other nights too! He told her to follow him and she nodded, feeling a little safer before doing so.

Back in the security room, she listened to the rest of his explanation. "Who is your creator, Toy Deku?" she couldn't help but ask. He seemed to possess so much more knowledge than that 'Phone Guy' if he knew how to make those robots listen to Toy Deku. "I'm so glad he made you! I don't think I'd be able to survive any more nights without his help!" She wished she could thank him in person! Then, to her surprise, she saw Toy Deku excuse himself and teleport himself away. "H-he can teleport too!?" It didn't take all too long for him to teleport back and although she was still wondering, she didn't ask how he did this.

"Yeah, the 'Phone Guy' also noticed it too. I didn't even realize!" She had been lucky honestly. And the worst part was that it was only going to get harder from here on out! Tired physically and mentally, Ochako dropped onto the chair before listening to the toy continuing to talk. The bad thing was that he didn't have any other goal than to get to her but the good news was that he would be also fighting among the other robots. Ochako had to raise a brow at the history of it though. "How can someone die by being groped?" But she guessed that most dreams didn't make any sense.

She heard the small toy apologize to her and she waved him off while yawning. "Don't worry about it! It's that Baku's fault. Besides, I have to...thank you for helping me. Tell your creator I'm thanking him too," she said while yawning once more before the toy shut off. She grabbed some water but before she could drink it, she was once again forced to answer the phone.

"I'm surprised you didn't see him coming unless it was the Baku changing the script." Would that be possible? "Though...he seemed too nice and I don't think it'd make sense to change the script to my advantage." She was as clueless as him. "But...I think we can get over this with his help," she smiled and drank the water.

She noticed people coming inside and she groaned. "Please just let me sleep...or wake up or whatever. I'll talk to you later," she mumbled before resting her head onto the desk. "Goodnight..." Ochako woke up soon after.

[tipsyreads-female]

Hello hello my sweet Darling 😋💕

Here we go into the second round of reviewing of your amazing Ihy Ily Series and my desperate try to keep up with it! 😂😅🙈

Hopefully I am able to read the third chapter soon, so I can move on to the fourth chapter that will get posted today!! 🙈😍

Also, your response to my latest review on Ihyily chapter 1 made me all sad and soft... I know how fucking long and intense you worked on IhyIly the last months and put all of your blood, sweat, tears of passion into that story. I just can poorly imagine how discouraging it must be not to receive the feedback you hoped for... so I am trying my best to keep you up and give you at least a little bit of all the feedback this mindblowing story truly deserves! I may be forgetful or sometimes really slow to read your stories on time but I want you to know that I love and support you the best way I am able to! 🤧💕 Love you Bestie ❤

ANYWAY, let's move on with this review and to point out all those nice scenes that you've written!! Idk if I remember everything chronological but I am trying my best not to mix everything up... 👉🏻👈🏻🙈💕 Love you Sweetie and I am so thankful for you posting this amazing story ☺💕

First of all... I can't believe how fucking curious Yoongi and Jiwoo are... honestly, my first thought was "Tratsch im Treppenhaus", oder was?? (engl. "Gossip in the staircase")

How Yoongi says all gently and lovingly, that Jiwoo is overdue with her period and might be pregnant... WHY THE FUCK IS SO CUTE I CAN'T 😭🤧💕

When the Reader and Tae drives to the Sunday Dinner and he exactly knows that the Reader isn't allowed to drive a car bc of stupid gender roles and he literally pours salt into the wounds... KIM TAEHYUNG YOU'RE MEAN 😡😤 DON'T DO THAT EVER AGAIN!

Mrs. Kang... I FUCKING LOVE HER SO MUCH, Mrs. Kang/Mrs. Choi/Mr. Choi... some of the best side characters! 😍😘

Taehyung literally running into the Reader's Dad arms and having und of the worst times of his life 😂😂 Karma~

Jungkook and the Reader are so sweet and cute, I caaaan't!!!🤧💕

...when they say that they want to have some private time in their bedroom and her parents looks at each other, thinking they're gonna fuck in her childhood room... Thank you for this unpleasant mental Image, Sibi 🤢🤮

When they're alone in her old room and Tae is frustrated, angry, annoyed (and annoying...🤦🏻‍♀️) and just talking back without being cooperative in any way... TAEHYUNG YOU'RE NOT 5 YEARS OLD ANYMORE, JESUS CHRIST

...but THEN you just threw helpless and vulnerable Beby Tae bc he didn't brought ans clothes over in and I'm all soft for him again

...AND THEN THIS CHILDISH ASSHOLE TAEHYUNG DECIDED TO BE ALL BITCHY AGAIN, LIKE WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH YOU TAEHYUNG??? ALL GRUMPY AND MOODY😤🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

I still can't believe it that he just drove home afterwards so they can sleep seperated... he's truly a drama queen

...the sex scene with Jungkook... fuck... that was way too hot and that attacked me... I WASN'T PREPARED THAT'S GONNA BE THIS HOT EVENTHOUGH YOU STATED IT IN YOUR WARNINGS-

...and then everything got destroyed because she said Taehyung's name and Jungkook realized what he just did there... having sex with a married woman (or as Tipsy said it "a married wife!" 😂)

the fucking business magazine interview that turned out to be more unprofessional than some cheap boulevard magazines

I am just saying... the Hickey

Really, that scene was a different breed of " the cherry on top of unprofessionalism" like wtf was that?!

...I almost spit too, my dear reader... not only you! 😳😩🤯🤮

...the fact that it went even worse...

I am so sorry for Taehyung... that must be the fucking worst feeling and his anger and Jealousy is absolutely berechtigt (my english just died, I am sorry)

...the fucking car ride back home was... was... was... I can't even put my feelings for that into words!

...his anger is so hot, don't ask me-

....THE FREAKING SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM

...when Tae provocates her to really use and fuck him, just like she wants to...

UNBUCKLING HIS BELT AND LOOSING HIS TIE, NOT TO FORGET OF HIM OPENING THE TOP THREE BUTTONS OF HIS DRESS SHIRT! 😩🤤💕

...after she pulled back and denied his "avanches" he didn't cared about closing his open dress shirt...

BOOBS. TAETIDDIES EVERYWHERE I AM JUST SAYING! 😤🔥

I mean... is that a fucking joke to you?? 🥵🤤👆🏻

...as you can see and read, I enjoyed the second chapter freaking much and I am very curious to read the third chapter but I am not ready how you're going to torture us now- 😩💕

Love you so incredibly much, whore! ♡ If other readers can't give you the feedback you deserve, I will do that 😤😡❤

↳ Index [Chapter 02 - Cut the Cameras]

Warnings: sexual tension, suggestive themes, talks about sex, fighting, hickeys, jealousy; also minor Jungkook x Noona!Reader, mutual masturbation, dirty talk

Wordcount: 8.9k

a/n: This chapter still haunts me in my dreams omfg 🥵

“So?” Jiwoo and Yoongi slip into the booth beside you, “Now that you have managed to go through a month without killing Taehyung, how is your marriage going?” she asks.

You send both of them an annoyed look.

“And here I thought you invited me over for drinks”, you grumble.

“We did”, Yoongi says and waves the waitress over, “but we are still curious”, he places his hand on Jiwoos upper back and rubs little circles on it.

You watch his gesture for a moment, clicking your tongue afterwards.

“Well, we are most definitely not doing that”, you say, nodding your head into Yoongis direction.

“Care to enlighten us?” Yoongi cocks an eyebrow up at you.

Just this moment the waitress arrived at your table.

“What can I get you?”

“A mojito with double the rum for me and a bowl of peanuts”, you tell her.

“Whiskey neat”, Yoongi orders his signature drink.

“Just a glass of water for me please”, Jiwoo says and it makes your ears perch up.

The waitress scurries off with your orders scribbled down in her little notebook.

“Jiwoo, did I just hear you right? You order water? Uhm, what is going on?”

Yoongi and his wife exchange a look, smiling so goofily it is gag inducing.

“Our little Chaeyoung may be getting a sibling”, Jiwoo says.

“Whaaat?” you gasp.

“We’re not sure yet, Jiwoo’s a few days late so we don’t want to risk it”, Yoongi explains, cheeks wearing a rosy tint to them.

“Okay damn”, you chuckle, “you two are really going at it. But congrats, I really hope that you’re pregnant.”

“Thank you”, Jiwoo sends you a smile, “speaking of pregnancies. I hope you and Taehyung are busy too.”

“Me and Taehyung?” you gag dramatically, “I would rather get it on with a stray dog to be bloody honest.”

Yoongi and Jiwoo exchange a look.

“You do know that you need to fuck in order to produce an heir, right?” Yoongi says so annoyingly bluntly.

“I know that too, thank you very much”, you snarl, sending daggers his way.

“So? Fuck him”, Yoongi throws back, cocking his right eyebrow up.

“You don’t tell me what to do”, you spit.

Weiterlesen

[montgomerylvbe010-blog]

I'm talking about the racing game Farm Expert 2017 Free

As a child, did you actually dream of extending up to become a farmer, spending the period charging near your rear yard with the toy tractor and trying to capture sheep in the nearby field to bring home with you? No, right us? Anyway never mind, even when that became the childhood ambition, Farm Expert 17 provides the opportunity to held also process the very own farm! The sport is nicely varied, with you having to fully prepare fields before plants can be extended, to ensuring you go livestock or they receive too older and fail, this activity will undoubtedly boost your organisational skills.

Farm Expert 2017's been buried, cultivated and produced by Silden and sold on the local produce market with PlayWay S.A.,FE17 definitely gives a few initial appeal for those who have a good simulation game. The game boasts some fairly clear impression as far as the weather is concerned, a right soundtrack when you hop in your tractor and plenty of to do and keep you tiling away for hours on end.

However, all these pieces are allowed overcome next to certain unfortunate and chronic bugs, together with some fairly horrendous curb and physics for the automobiles. And it is very varied, it goes through from the lack of depth which could leave a little underwhelmed. There is besides a multiplayer side to the game, though moving this to run remains much more akin to brown magic than computer games.

With no tale to talk about let's walk right into the nitty-gritty of what you can do from the entertainment. Since there is quite a bit. Now earlier I right start, I first want to come clean up then influence that was the primary ever really farming sim game (unless I could count Stardew Valley?) so I just want to step early then articulate sorry for any really noob-like comments. Push with…

Setting up is rather cool, after pack in you're satisfied with a menu asking to produce a report which is just a material of making a brand then go away from there. FE17 control a couple of modes you can choose from entering Free Journey and Multiplayer (I'll speak more about the multiplayer in a time). For me, however, the first go-to space lived the Article. There's somewhat of the language screen with some incorrect period and grammar, but after you move history to that all pretty straightforward. It worked out, still, carry everyone almost twenty seconds to figure out the way to help repeal since I stupidly thought it was a clean WASD setup rather than having to press Z first in order to change course. But following these hiccups, I did get myself enjoying the game. There's something strangely satisfying about having to undergo the motions of reversing up to a piece of equipment, hitching it in place, folding this left and then merrily tootling together toward the subject for a day's work.

After I had learned the basics of really turn and farming, I jumped even in work my own fully-fledged farm. You get several options to take from, basically ranging from Easy to Hard. Naturally, as a great amateur, I indicated the Simple option. Thanks to our choice I started off with a great total of currency and a good healthy sum of procedures already in my possession, so I could push right on with believe our former field, gathering a few plants and dealing with work. I found myself rather having my time as a farmer, finally achieving the target of determination a tractor.

Yet, I slowly started to notice a few mechanisms. For starters, the naming of the devices is just not up to scratch, specifically on the route that you'd think will be even but for some ungodly reason cause your vehicles to bump along constantly. The game and makes seem to factor in the swollen weight of things which you hitch upon your tractor, allowing you to accelerate in much the same time as you normally would. After a while, I discovered that the physics from the entertainment might produce some pretty horrendous cock-ups.

And later on, I too discovered that the farmsimulator.eu/farming-simulator-2013-titanium-edition-download/ ground actually took no influence on the swiftness of your car, allowing you to charge full speed up high mountains then carry on your own mini-adventure…

So of course, the true physics of the competition give something to be needed. But the real gameplay is beautiful varied. So if you don't want to really need in yard and collecting crops all the time, then no worries! You can go into animal husbandry having a couple of different options that animals to keep and ensuring that to hold them fed as well as selling them for meat just before they die of other age. Before you may grow orchards to make your delicious fruit, having to fertilize and obtain the products yourself, and even have to carry the pack to the trailer! But you do want to remain with clear old-fashioned crop farming, in which case you have to take your crops depending on the season, carefully cultivate fields properly and then make sure not to help process them over or otherwise they'll be destroyed!

There's also vehicle preservation with attention to take into consideration, so that you have to cram up your own tractor with fuel and keep that working, make sure it's good and fresh (as apparently, that is chief for tractors?) as well as repair or increase that right away also over again to make life easier.

Pretty varied, just? Right. Unfortunately, that class does not translate to power or order. So sure, you can strengthen the plants, care for being and multiply fruit orchards. But there's no form in charge in the looks, so there's no need to research for improved accept or trade rates like every shop will give the same results. That lack of economy frankly lets down the main practice. Your dogs do need food, but not any run or time away from their pens. You don't still have to feed them yourself so something you buy gets automatically transferred to the pencils plus the beast somehow gain admission to the food themselves. And with orchards, after place and fertilizing them there's nobody more you really need to do until they're ready to be gathered. That lack of depth turns the game into more of an calendar watching experience.

You can hire a staff to help you out, watching them go about the job is vaguely interesting at first, but soon loses the novelty. Other NPCs in the sport don't provide any connection and generally, action to truly hear and give the world a resemblance of lifetime. Without success, I must tell.

There is too supposed to be a multiplayer element to the activity, but lord only gets how we may actually meet people. I've trawled many forums with news say similar problems with no resolution forthcoming. Multiplayer is there a little that is created last minute, so perhaps it will be improved in the future?

The first thing I'd state is how the game does not really have the most impressive image, with some of the textures looking pretty bitter and a significant few popping issues going on. But I'd consider the vehicles looked quite decent generally, and the weather effects were fairly well done. There's something oddly fascinating about watching puddles form with a subject while that raining.

It also gain several terra-forming effects as well, so when you're making the take some of the machines you use actually kind trenches and other alterations from the ground, which changes how the vehicle can operate over them, that is pretty nice. And also since what I understand by making a bit of examining, something that doesn't take place now Farming Simulator activity or different competitors. Character styles are fairly bland and forgettable, but aside from the unnecessary NPCs, there's not really enough characters around to take much notice.

I personally achieved the soundtrack really enjoyable. There was something a little entertaining about the music starting up when you shot in your own tractor. The fact that the thud of the engine changes counting at whether the within or outside of the vehicle was sweet cool too. However, once you noticed the cycling positive make, that begin as a bit annoying. And, when you got out of the tractor your individual would for some reason believe they were leap and reach the appropriate sound. As well as this a handful of the vehicles which got no doors still played the door shut sound each time you got off. A problem for me, but still a virus.

Due to the lack of exposure to previous farming sim games, I found myself enjoying Farm Expert 17 at first, but after I had partaken to all the varied tasks I found myself getting bored fairly swiftly. With eventually a number of the germ can attest to be significantly frustrating. If that match survived a little more developed then obtained selected degree put into it, i would indeed rate it higher. The multiplayer certainly feels tacked upon then the main experience just becomes somewhat of a drag eventually.

[sage-nebula]

hey so i was wondering! i'm sure this has been done before, but is there a GOOD version of a chorobin au where robin's mother doesn't escape with them/cowards out and never leaves and so you have robin being raised up as plegia's tactician and they still manage to play off chrom relatively well despite essentially being leaders of opposing factions? i have vague ideas that crop up every now and then (1/?)

like plegia!robin still being a relatively decent person because while their mother didn't have enough courage to flee they still had their own small rebellion by instilling ethics in their child while raising them? but this results in robin keeping said tendencies under wraps. also shit like validar using robin to worm into plegia's royal authority along with aversa b/c robin being this perfect tactician gives them a way better rep with the public than gangrel?also like. this version of robin going along with their father's plans to revive grima but only so they can get themselves destroyed permanently in the process and through that end they're orchestrating seemingly perfect plegia victories but also guiding chrom and others to complete the fire emblem? idk. i have thoughts. but i don't know if this idea has ever been done right. what would you do with a plegia!robin chorobin au because i have seen your chorobin fics and i am curious lots

I’m actually not sure if that exists! I haven’t written it, and I haven’t actually read any fics for this fandom, haha. So it wouldn’t surprise me if an AU like that exists somewhere, but I haven’t seen it myself.

As for my own thoughts . . .

I feel like we can’t actually say that Robin would have been raised as a tactician had they remained in Plegia. Yes, Robin is incredibly intelligent and has a fondness for strategy (something that I headcanon they studied on their own while growing up, for kicks), but again, Robin was the child of Validar, who was the leader of the Grimleal, and it was Robin’s destiny to be raised as a sacrificial lamb for Grima. The entire point of Robin’s birth was so that they would be a perfect vessel for Grima. I seem to remember a line of dialogue about how the Grimleal had been trying to give birth to a proper vessel for Grima for decades (if not centuries) prior to perfecting that with Robin. If that is the case and I’m not remembering incorrectly, that means that Robin was bred like a prized dog until they finally had what they wanted. Why on earth would they risk Robin’s life by sending them off to the military? Why would they ever risk Robin in battle? Validar had no choice but to face Robin in battle throughout the course of the game because Robin had joined the Shepherds of their own volition; but I think that, had Validar been able to raise Robin as originally intended, there’s a high probability that Robin would have never seen battle. Validar had no reason to send them. Instead, Robin would be deeply entrenched in the Grimleal until the day came to carry out the ceremony at the Dragon’s Table, at which point Robin would fulfill their destiny of becoming Grima’s vessel so that the Fell Dragon would rise once again. That’s my take on it, anyway.

also shit like validar using robin to worm into plegia's royal authority along with aversa b/c robin being this perfect tactician gives them a way better rep with the public than gangrel?

Mmmh, well, the public’s opinion of Gangrel was complicated, though. The military / people didn’t really start to turn on him until Emmeryn’s sacrifice (and she was killed off for real, all right, I refuse to allow IntSys to cheapen that with the paralogue / DLC), because they were touched and moved by her words. Before that things were certainly bad and there were definitely people (e.g. Tharja, Henry) who wanted out, but at the same time there were a good number of Plegians who (understandably) loathed Ylisse, and so they weren’t wholly against Gangrel’s desire to crush Ylisse under Plegia’s boot. So while I do think that Gangrel would take all the tacticians he can get and, as such, might not object to both Robin and Aversa (though again, I have doubts that Validar would allow his perfect vessel anywhere near war if he could help it), it’s not as if the whole of Plegia was always against Gangrel. If anything, I’d say it’s more likely that the general Plegian was against the war in general, but seeing as how Ylisse had already ravaged them when Chrom’s father was in control, it’s not as if their lives were going to magically get better if Gangrel stopped inciting hostilities between Plegia and Ylisse. I always got the vibe that there was a lot of hopelessness and despair in Plegia, which is what drove them to the Grimleal in the first place (something that was only furthered once Gangrel was killed and Validar stepped up as next in line to the throne, which I’m assuming means that even though he wasn’t king beforehand, he was regent or some such).

(And another side note---this is one thing that I really, really like about Awakening that Fates fucked up on hardcore. Yes, in Awakening, Plegia is shown to be this dark country that’s ruled by an evil cult and yadda yadda, whereas Ylisse is a halidom with a much more benevolent goddess. However, it’s revealed over the course of the plot that Chrom’s father was a horrid tyrant who made life worse for people in both Ylisse and Plegia, and that Plegia’s current actions are a direct result of what Chrom’s father did. Neither Plegia nor Ylisse are painted as wholly evil or wholly good, and I really enjoyed that about the game.)

So with all of that said . . . I think that, if we had an AU where, say . . . Robin’s mother was captured as she was attempted to flee, put to death for high treason (and the kidnapping of Validar’s child), and Robin was raised in Plegia . . . there’s a high probability that Robin would be raised believing that it’s a good thing that they would be used as a vessel for Grima’s resurrection. It’s all they would ever know; they would think that this is how destiny is supposed to play out, that this is the role they were born to play, that everything in their lives is leading to that one, singular moment because that’s the way the universe works. No doubt they would still have questions---they are Robin, after all---but when you’re raised to play one specific role and that’s all you’ve ever known, then any questions you might have about having a different future or different possibilities are all very abstract. It’s like---have you ever played Tales of Symphonia? In that game, Colette Brunel was raised as the Chosen One of Sylvarant. She was raised knowing exactly what her fate would be and why. And though she loved the days when she was allowed to have fun and play with her friends, although she would sometimes dream about a life where she lived beyond her destiny, she grew up accepting her fate as a sacrificial lamb because she thought she had to. She never truly considered alternatives because, due to the way she was raised, she didn’t believe those alternatives realistically existed. And I think that Robin would be very much the same way if raised by Validar; not only would they be brought up believing in the Grimleal’s belief system wholesale, but they would also have a sort of hopelessness about it, particularly if they were told that their mother had tried to escape with them, only to be captured and put to death. Clearly fate is not something that can be changed or avoided. Robin will be the vessel for Grima, and . . . in the end . . . isn’t that for the best?

So then the question becomes: How do we get Robin and Chrom to meet? If Validar doesn’t want to risk Robin by putting them out on the battlefield (and why would he, when Robin is his one chance to resurrect Grima?), then that means we’d have to have them meet some other way . . . and that other way might be Tharja.

Tharja was a member of the Grimleal who also served in the military. We know this, because this is how we meet her; she’s on the battlefield when Emmeryn is about to be put to death, even though she doesn’t want to be there and wants a way out. Although Tharja is very deeply entrenched in her magic and studies, her actual belief in Grima is shaky at best. If that’s the case, then it’s possible that if she met Robin much earlier on---say, in childhood---and developed the obsession that she has with them early . . . and if she learned that it was their destiny to be used as a vessel for Grima . . . then it’s possible that Tharja, much like Robin’s mother, could ultimately develop strong feelings of “no” for that and seek to get Robin out. Of course, as we see in game, Tharja won’t leave without a real opportunity to do so. So that said, it’s possible that Tharja would sneak Robin to the battlefield with her on the day of Emmeryn’s execution, and in that way they would both encounter Chrom there. If Tharja had already been planting seeds in Robin’s mind about escaping their destiny---and if Robin, like so many other Plegians, was inspired by Emmeryn’s last words . . . then it’s possible that they could both join the Shepherds on that day, only this time Robin would have full knowledge of who they were and who they were supposed to become, which I feel would probably change things significantly.

Of course, assuming the Shepherds would survive long enough to make it to that point is a bit of a long shot, considering they would probably be relying on Virion to be their technician, and he is not afraid to sacrifice large chunks of the army if it means winning. =/ So there’s always that, haha.

But yeah, those are my thoughts on it. Sorry if any of this is disjointed ramble; it’s a lot to think about.