#I mean stories where the main focus is a fully fleshed out separate thing and romance is a subplot

[asteria-argo]

the thing about being aromantic while also liking romance in fiction is that I actually don't like romance in fiction, because no one ever does it right

[angievores]

PIT BABE, The hot mess.

I feel like the story was just adapted from novel on surface level and they didn't really creat much changes except giving some screentime to side characters. Way was the same friend as novel but they write flashbacks so people would feel little sympathetic about his death. But things got turned how they turned because Nut acted too fabulously out of his character. His eyes always expressed a sadness that it created a past story which wasn't written in script and made people feel for him more.

On the other hand ( don't hate me for this) ,Charlie actor didn't delivered his character on the same level. And so in the end people end up sympathizing with Way more. Like whenever Way looks at Babe, anyone can believe this man is sadly pining after his 10 year one sided love. Whenever Babe looks at Charlie, love droops from his face and it's in his sparkling eyes that says Charlie means world to him. Whereas, Charlie most of times he appears as.... yk reading the script.( swallow the bitter pill) . Even in supposedly emotionally charged scenes like in ep 7 confrontation or in ep 9 him saving Babe, his expression just doesn't appear as much compelling or convincing. At most he was just a prop while Pavel carried their whole love arc emotions. ( It might be different for novel readers as they had context but I as just series watcher felt so. Tbh, I see more chemistry in PavelPooh bts scenes or events and interviews than on screen. Their visual slays. ). That might be why I couldn't get into main cp scenes and was about to drop at ep 3, but then restaurant scene of Way and Babe in ep 4 caught my interest and the chemistry ( even as friends) was spotted there and I continued to see more of how Way character or his dynamic with Babe is gonna turn out. ( And AlanJeff happened and so saved the show for me. Sorry not sorry. )

But actors acting skills doesn't really make that much difference as most of the times script compensates for it by NOT writing any chemistrying scenes with any other character.

So, I don't understand where the directors were going with when they gave so many emotionally charged scenes to Babe and Way. These two were fabulous prettiest criers as ice on cake. And their toxic codependent homosexual friendship/relationship was very well fleshed out. Babe got a new boy, and we saw all of Way jealousy, pining, manipulation, loneliness. Babe going to him after Way is upset, their fight, his constant ' you're my best friend, I love u. ' Their slow falling apart, ugly betrayal, past betrayal relationship and apologies and end death.

Like after finale there might be something we felt we didn't got from fixed pairs , whether BabeCharlie, AlanJeff, NorthSonic. But there isn't anything that could be felt lacking from Babe Way relationship ( whatever more than friends less than lovers, toxic but wanting, torturous/ codependent / possesive friendship not friendship their relationship was ) . This relationship arc was fully delivered in all of it's gloriously doomed tragedy.

So it kinda felt like Way and Babe were main characters and their tragic story was main focus. But since tragedies doesn't attract people, they pretended Babe and his love for Charlie was main focus. ( yes, Change lied till the end).

Yeah, i also don't wanna believe this, but there wasn't any step we didn't see of their relationship. Way pinning after his friend for a decade, doing everything to separate him from other lovers but never confessing himself. Taking care of him, by his side always, waiting , snapping when finding himself at the edge and with one decision ruining everything, ignoring the love of another men, then dying saving his only love.. Like can you see MY LOVE MIGHT BE TOXIC BUT IT WAS TRUTH AND MAYBE WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU And Babe crying, forgiving other of everything in instant, , saying I won't be angry at you anymore. Crying I love u three times at the end when Way was taking his last breadths, if that was what all Way wanted to hear Babe would say it, in desperation for other to not leave him anyhow. Even after receiving worst and most hurtful betrayal of his life, still not letting go of other. Wishing to meet in next life. Can you see this MY LOVE MAYBE WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU BUT IT WAS TOO DEEP FOR ME AND TRUE TO ITS ENDS.

Did you see it? THE CINEMA. 💀

I mean i also get that sloppy writing mess, illogical death instead of good redemption arc, undigestable instant forgiveness from Babe, pointless Pete Kenta triangle. But if we take what show delivered, that's what ( Way Babe) they served us on gold platter. We just ignoring it bcz our fave ships. Trust me I was also too immersed in pete way myself but you see when Way got shot Pete didn't come running to him and was holding Charlie while Tony delivered that monologue. Pete ( the man who is supposed to have good body balance and never missing his targets) couldn't shoot Tony and was listening the blabbering while Way was bleeding on floor. Like 🙃💀 I'm sorry, His death scene was written so bad. 😭. They all cried but no one pressed on his wounds, neither anyone called ambulance. He was alive for like ten minutes to talk to Babe. Atleast they should have given him a good death scene 😭. Way deserved that much atleast.

[yuniemaki]

A peek into my workflow for canon fics!

Got quite a few questions lately about how I plot longer fanfics, so here's a proper writeup on my current workflow.

One thing to note is that canon is always easier to work with because the worldbuilding has been done for you, and you really only need to focus on setup and payoff as well as the narrative themes. With an AU, you need to build the world and supporting characters as well in order to deliver a similar impact. An AU is closer to plotting an original story, except you don't need to work so hard on the character dynamics.

As such, my plotting differs slightly from canon to AU fics. Since I haven't finished an AU fic yet I'll share my process for canon fics for now (using Trust in the stars - mind the spoilers!).

Hope this helps other fanfic writers out there :) And remember, all these "rules" exist to be broken, as long as you find a way that works for you.

Fics based in the canon universe have no need for worldbuilding aside from your own headcanons, so I typically focus on driving impact through the narrative itself.

First off, I note down the characters that will show up in this fic and try to summarise the main theme in a one-liner (the one liner can be done after you finish everything, that's why I highlighted it in yellow - I only wrote this after I finished a first plot. This one-sentence summary will guide your main theme and ensure your story ends on the right note).

This is how Trust in the stars began:

No details at all at this stage. After this, I used the three act structure to nail down the key moments of the fic. These are usually scenes I've been brainrotting on in full detail; they are usually drabbles or rambles for epic/emotional scenes I envision.

Using the structure, I slot them into the right places and then figure out how to build up to it. Because, as we all know, there is no impact without setup and payoff. And for setup and payoff to work, we need to step back and see the entire story from an organised perspective.

I'm not a fan of breaking down stories into percentages - I prefer to just look at all the acts and its key points, and see if they make sense and build up to each other. Act 2 can be the shortest act for all I care as long as it successfully sets up for the "crisis" that leads into the climax.

(If you have other key scenes that you were brainrotting on, write them down on a separate doc first or at the bottom of the plot doc, but keep the plot by itself for now.)

You'll notice that there are quite a few differences in the final fanfic from this plot, and that's normal. This simple structure just helps you to see the main climatic moments in each act and how it builds up to the final climax.

Again, no details - don't know what kind of poison, don't know what kind of sus activity, no idea what trap Ningguang sends Beidou to.

This is basically my "first draft".

From this draft, I can already tell that there may be issues with "prototype modified ruin guards" in act 2 because:

The climax, where Liyue is defended from a ruin guard army, doesn't seem linked to Ning & Pantalone negotiating

It also doesn't satisfy the aftermath of Ning & Pantalone accepting each other as equals,

Nor does it fully tie back to the one-sentence summary ("rekindles passions for Beidou").

That means I'm missing the central theme I want the story to have - ultimately Trust in the stars is a story of Ningguang and Beidou daring to trust each other, to fall in love.

So just looking at this, I know I need to:

a) rework the climax and potentially make it less epic (so that it becomes personal)

b) after reworking the climax, adjust act 2 to build up to it

After I'm happy with the key moments, I stay on this doc and start fleshing out main story beats for each section of the act. This is an example of how the beats for Act 1 go for the first 2-3 chapters:

These beats help to iron out the smaller questions - for example, what are the characters doing and thinking? What's their motives for each arc of the story?

I never believed in "giving" your characters obstacles to overcome; they will meet and become obstacles simply because of their motivations and beliefs, that are shaped by the circumstances they experience, just as we are shaped by our experiences in life.

That's how they will drive your story towards its ending. Things happen, but all things happen because someone willed it to happen.

Ruin guard army? Dottore was building it because he loves his little experiments. The law is his obstacle; he's doing it in secret. To build experiments, he needs funding, too, and that's why he has an interest in working with Pantalone.

Pantalone beefing with Ningguang? He must want something that she has. Wealth, power - whatever floats your boat. Ningguang is his obstacle because she's gonna say no.

Beidou running errands for Ningguang? It's part of their contract that's been ongoing for years, never mind her interest in Ningguang. The contract itself is an obstacle to the story's goal: falling in love. Business partners to... lovers?

Ningguang ordering Beidou to collect intel? It's part of her vested interest in knowing what's going on in other nations, because she needs to protect Liyue from political threats. The potential danger Beidou faces becomes an obstacle for Ningguang, as she struggles between needing to send Beidou out and fearing she doesn't return.

Ningguang baiting the Fatui? The intel her network delivers has alerted her to suspicious ongoings and she wants to remove this obstacle asap.

Yelan investigating the Fatui? Ningguang ordered it, and Yelan is working for her (plus she likes her job and danger). What Yelan finds also becomes an obstacle for Ningguang as they try to figure out what's going on.

Ningguang ordering Yelan to do that? She must suspect the Fatui are making moves. And she's trying to clear the obstacle of "lack of knowledge" so that she can make her move.

Why does Ningguang suspect the Fatui is making their move? Because Pantalone wants something from Ningguang and has made it clear through sending Dottore to take the bait. Obviously she won't want to give him anything. She becomes his obstacle.

Dottore getting involved? Pantalone got Dottore to work with him with the promise of gaining knowledge or making experiments, which is Dottore's passion anyway.

Not the most flawless example, but see how each character's motivations is based off what they know from another character's goal, and how their reactions drive the plot forward?

I digressed. Anyway...

After I've finished the beats for the whole fic, I build out the points into actual chapters. Having the beats fleshed out for the full story helps immensely with weaving forewarning into early chapters, because I already know what's going to happen in xx chapter and I have all the turning points in mind.

I find that if I start writing without finishing the plot, I find it hard to continue because I simply don't know what the ending is going to be. It's like driving a car on a road without a destination.

I made this mistake once, and that fic is gonna stay at 1/? for a very long time, I assure you...

Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk. Let me know if this was useful ily 😭

[treybriggsthewriter]

This makes me nervous, but I’m going to post it. I’m going to try my best to achieve my goals. I’ve put in a ton of work already, so I’m looking for additional help. 

From the campaign:

My name is Trey Briggs, and I'm a black woman who writes paranormal horror, speculative fiction, and other types of fiction. You can find my stories at MaybeTrey , Astrid the Devil , and on Instagram , Medium , and Wattpad .

My stories are aimed at black people who want to read dark stories that focus on original black characters that are complex and interesting. I genuinely believe Black audiences deserve a variety of genres to delve into, and I want to introduce them to paranormal horror, dark romance, and fantasy that they haven't gotten enough of in the past. I also believe that this can be done across multiple mediums, and I spend my money with black creative professionals to make these experiences extend beyond my words. For the last two years, I've run my stories on sites and Instagram to great reception. I like to craft complex experiences that offer looks at character backgrounds, side and backstories, full websites for each title, and more. I also provide encyclopedias, maps, audio journals, and other ways to get into each world. During these last few years, I've run into a lot of walls, jumped a lot of hurdles, and tried my best. I've worked with amazing black artists, voice actors, and actresses, musicians, designers, and more. I trust my ability to run a project, especially when it comes to planning and finding talent. My overall goal is to run a team of black creatives that crafts novels, graphic novels, audio experiences, and animated series for a dedicated audience.

Why I Need Help Long story short: I have the skill, I have the marketing/website building/business experience, and I have the drive. There's a lot I can do on my own, but there's also a lot that gets left behind because I don't have the money I need to proceed at a steady pace. I need help with funding so I can focus, hire the right people, and craft these stories the way they deserve to be crafted. I have thus far spent over $60,000 of my own money on my projects over the past two years - the writing and site-building are easy for me; the rest has to be hired out. I have art, site costs for hosting, domains, templates, specific plugins, and maintenance, audio (and vocal artists to pay), musical, and editing costs. I'm by no means rich or even particularly financially stable. I have taken on tons of extra clients for my digital marketing business, transcribed hundreds of hours of audio for dirt cheap, and taken out personal loans. I even worked a second full-time job along with my full-time business last year to afford to produce the content I love. It's starting to take a toll on my mental health. I plan on continuing to fund these projects out of pocket (and finding ways to do so), but having financial help, however big or small, would allow me to move a lot faster and with less stress. It would let me flesh out ideas and concepts that I have had to scrap because I can only physically handle so much extra work. I run a full-time marketing business from home, homeschool my autistic 10-year-old, and generally have a busy life. Some of the strain is taking a toll on me, and I don't want to give up. Having some financial backing could allow me to drop a client or two after a few months and focus on the work I love to do.

How You Can Help I mainly need a start—a sort of base. I want to emphasize that I plan to continue to provide the main bulk of funding for my projects. I know my goals are ambitious, and I know each step will take time and money. I welcome any help to make the process smoother and to get around the initial hurdles. I'd like to have ebooks and novels offered on my site by the end of the year (along with the free serials and stories). Funding means that I can broaden the projects, include more free aspects to my sites, and secure direct financing through sales of ebooks and audiobooks sooner. It also means that I can offer MORE stories, whether they are online only or fully fleshed out novels and sites. I am swamped with trying to work enough to cover all my bills and creative projects, so I lose a lot of time I could spend plotting and writing. If I have better funding, I can get my stories out quicker (and with fewer mistakes).

The Initial Stories Let's talk about my stories! If you're familiar with my work already, you can skip to the next section. My main story site is Maybe Trey . Currently, I have two big titles and a bunch of smaller ones that I am seeking help with funding: Astrid the Devil

Astrid the Devil is the complicated story of a girl who inherits not only her family's features and DNA, but their fears, struggles, and fights. It's the story of a condition called Devil Syndrome, the women who suffer it, and the monsters that devour them. It's the story of the fight to save the people you love at the expense of innocent lives. At its core, Astrid the Devil is the story of a woman who inherits the chaos of three generations before her. It's a look at what is truly passed down to our children, and how they're left to fight our battles in the aftermath of our failures. It's the tale of an indescribable monster and the women who struggle to defeat it. It's a journey into how their every decision could save or destroy an entire world. Astrid the Devil is the story of Astrid Snow, but her story can't be told without the story of the women before her.

Vicious: On MaybeTrey  and The Vicious site (in progress)

Somewhere, a war is brewing.  That's the only thing that's for sure to Junnie Gorton, a young horned girl suffering from a debilitating disease called Horn Rot. She typically dealt with her low survival rate and abnormally large horns by escaping the world with her best friend, Lewish. Now she's forced to figure out which side is which, save her entire species, and find out the truth behind the sudden uprising in her home. Horn Rot, a highly contagious and violent disease spreading through horned people, is causing mass amounts of madness and death. Normal horns grow in ways that will pierce, suffocate, and maim their owners, and the only one who can stop it is Junnie's mother, Lyria. As Lyria falls deeper and deeper into an anti-social revolt, the country reels. While Junnie broods, her entire species must prepare for mass extinction. Her brother plots with a group of people with less than good intentions and Lewish is quieter than usual. In a civilization brought up on extreme violence and competition, Junnie and Lewish try their best not to get swallowed by their culture, their lives, or their horns.

Bunni and Bosque :

Bunni lives. Bosque dies. We all know how this story starts. Bunni is obsessed with destruction and death. She comes from the healthiest Horned family in her country. She's from the oldest, purest bloodline in the world. And she's bored with it. Bunni spends most of her time trying to escape her duties as a pureblood. She wants things dirty, messy, foul, inconsistent. Having parents that are willing to kill to keep their bloodline pure is annoying. Knowing that she'll live a long, full life, produce more perfect children, and die unscathed is agonizing. Bunni wants something to mourn. We all know how this story ends. Bosque is destined to die an agonizing death, alone on his family's land. He's watched everyone he loved and grew up with perish. Sometimes it was because of their disease. Sometimes it was because of the malice and hatred of others. While he's absolutely withdrawn and satisfied with his life, Bosque has never had a chance to live it. He spends his days basking in the sun, bathing in wood baths, and contemplating the end. Bosque isn't interested in joining the rest of the world. He'd rather die out, alone, where his family belonged. Bosque wants to go peacefully. But neither expected to meet each other one day in a supermarket. Neither expected to fall in love, lust, and every vicious and dirty thing between. Neither expected to be so right for each other, all while being wrong for everyone else. You know the end of this story. Bunni lives, Bosque dies. But maybe something will change.

My smaller titles, Bunni and Bosque /Aite and Jude, can be found at Maybe Trey .

The Business Plan

The initial phase of my business plan is to get the sites populated with ebooks and audiobooks for sale. I also have prints that can be sold. Right now, I am in the audience-building phase while I save up for editing the full novels. 

In terms of an actual business with which to publish the stories, I already have a registered publication company in Illinois: Wolfless Studios LLC. I took this step earlier this year with plans to self-publish Astrid and Vicious. So that is paid for and done.

I have also gotten initial editing done on the first six chapters of Astrid, though it will need to be edited from the beginning again once everything is said and done. I've spent over $1000 on that so far, and it would go a lot faster if I didn't need to save up to edit each chapter.

Astrid the Devil is fully plotted, outlined, and only needs the last three chapters. Bunni and Bosque and Vicious are newer, but plotted and already deep into character development (all being shared across social and Wattpad for audience growth). Aite and Jude and other shorts are plotted, and three other unshared stories are plotted and at the editing phase.

Other costs and ways I would use the funding (I would still put in my own money and do as much on my own as possible):

Initial $30K

$6000 - $7000 Line and Copy edits for Astrid (currently at 250000+ words/expecting over 300000 at $0.02 rate)

$6000 - $7000 Line and Copy Edits for Vicious

$3000 - $4000 Line and Copy Edits for Bunni and Bosque

ISBN Purchases (Separate ISBN for each format for each book) - https://www.myidentifiers.com/identify-protect-your-book/barcode

Covers for Astrid/Vicious/B&B Print Versions

Site Hosting Costs and Maintenance for 2 Years

Site completion for all stories

Initial store and app development

40K - Marketing and Graphic Novels

Social, Print, and Web ads

Email Marketing Campaigns 

Booths at Decatur Book Festival (depending on COVID)

Social ads and promos

50 to 60 pages

First two chapters offered as free promo with email sign-ups

Audio journals for each character

Situational audio journals

Encyclopedia for Astrid (finishing up)/Vicious

65K - Hires and Next Phases

Ability to hire a Full-Time Editor 

Audio Series for each (professionally done)

Vicious Graphic Novel

Additional Title Added

Short animations for both Vicious and Astrid (with plans to fund more with book sales)

Fleshed out Story Sections (Novellas for each character of each series)

Short comic series with Astrid and Vicious side characters

Possible to plan out monthly subscription service with new stories and 'story package' deliveries

75K -

Astrid the Devil Graphic Novel

Vicious Graphic Novel

Astrid the Devil Animated Short

Ability to hire part-time Web Developer

Additional bigger title

Anything Over - I ascend into pure light. And also, I can add titles, cover more mediums, and eventually expand my publishing to other black creatives.

From there, I should be able to handle the funding via sales of books, comics, audio, and more. Again, I will always offer mostly free content across the sites.

I believe in proof of concept, and I have diehard fans on my social platforms. With no outside funding, I've been able to a lot on my own. I'd love to expand my business into one that does the same for other black authors, artists, voice actors, and animators somewhere down the line. 

Thank you so much for your consideration. I appreciate all my readers, present and future, and I appreciate any help!

See incentives and more on the actual campaign: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-trey-publish-black-paranormal-horror-stories

Thank you so much!

[ghcstvalleychief]

Not gonna lie, I feel like instead of a season 2 of kinnporsche, they should have made a vegaspete season and only focus on kinnporsche this season so we could have full focus on kinn and porsche because as someone who don't care about vegas and pete, FOR ME the show is lacking of KP focus for their 4 last episodes. You see, After the scene with kinn porsche and korn, we had vegaspete for a long while and I couldn't even focus on them because all I wanted was to be shown whats happening with the main story and couple. I mean it's not nothing it's literally the final act for them so I just can't be interested on VP now I'm sorry. And Im afraid with only 2 eps left and the preview being only vegaspete things aren't gonna be explore with KP as best as they could have without VP storyline. And as you said vegas would have made a good vilain for this season if if was only shown as a vilain. + VP stans would have been happy with their season and not annoying about KP everytime they are on screen. I'm worried for the lack of KP for the two last episodes I know it's dumb but yeah.

I'm gonna keep it 100 with you, friend. That's the easiest way for me to stop watching this show. No, I'm dead serious - I would absolutely cancel my iQiyi subscription because I only got it to watch KP and I would have no way to justify the added expense if that were to happen. But to answer your question, I may know the reason.

Here's what I think the problem is - when the writers of a show think themselves too ambitious, they automatically assume they can juggle multiple couples in one show but that's not true. Most shows fail at properly balancing two couples, but three couples? Forget about it! VP is what people are talking about these days due to the influx of fandom drama, but people tend to forget about KC in all of this too. There's not enough time to fully develop and flesh out three separate romantic couples in a way that would make sense to the audience and in a way where it won't seem rushed.

This got long again. Sorry!

I'm in the United States, right? So, I grew up on American TV shows where the shows would have multiple seasons and a single season would average about 20 episodes. Or at least they used to do that but they've moved away from that in the last decade or so. But that's what I'm accustomed to. My point is - the shows that I'm talking about that fit this criteria were usually able to juggle 2 or 3 couples at a time because they had more seasons to flesh out these characters and their relationships and they had more episodes so they didn't have to actually rush and force everything to fit into this short season. They had more time to do this.

This show being a single season with a 14-episode count was never going to be enough to juggle 3 couples properly. Properly being the key word here. That was never going to happen. Granted, this show has a longer episode count than most shows within the genre but still not enough for what the writers were probably going for. You can't dedicate enough time to the romance and development of each individual pairing and still have enough time left over to flesh out the overarching plot. From a controversial standpoint, I'm gonna say something - there shouldn't have been any side couples included in this show. Period. I'm not just saying that because I'm biased towards the main couple of this show. I'm saying it because it's true. Side couples take away from the flow of the episodes and the season by default. It literally fucks up the equilibrium of the show and that's probably why some people feel like this show is too choppy or too all over the place.

Think about it - you have V & Pete doing whatever weird shit they're doing; meanwhile, Porsche is finding out that Korn knows his mother and knew her well enough to spend time with her and her family. But only the latter part of this actually moves the plot along. V & Pete bonding over whatever does not move the plot along; not to mention the fact that it's not going to matter once Pete goes back to the main family because there's not enough time to show any of Pete's trauma resulting from that entire thing. You had Kim 'seducing' Chay to find out information on Porsche but he's never actually did anything with what he found out. He didn't come to Kinn to discuss it. Nothing. But you see, none of these things served to actually progress the plot.

The rest of the season has to be dedicated to investigating and revealing the Korn connection. It has to be. That cannot be a loose end unless the writers planned it that way and wanted to continue further exploring that bombshell in the following season. Which very well could be the case.

Honestly, I'm not concerned about the lack of KP. Contrary to popular belief, the show does revolve around them. I saw that rumor that claimed the last 4 episodes would revolve around VP, but has it? In the last couple of episodes, did we see KP? Did we get meaningful moments between them? Yes. Was most of the episode about them either individually and/or as a couple? Also, yes. So, I wouldn't fall into that trap of believing what some hopeful shippers have set because nothing tells me that the last 2 episodes won't be about KP. The VP scenes were teased in the trailer for next week's episode because they probably couldn't tease the actually important stuff - you know, the fact that Porsche knows that there's something even more fishy going on than he thought in regards to his parents, their death, and Korn. I think the KP relationship will most likely be fine, but I don't know how the overarching plot will fare. The overarching plot may completely fall apart and/or be anticlimactic. That's the thing that may happen.

But you are right about one thing: VP should have been in the second season. This first season should have been about KP and Porsche's family secrets. Honestly, that's one of my biggest pet peeves about this show. I don't like or pay attention to side couples because the side couples are rarely as interesting as the main couple, unless the main couple is horribly casted with bad acting and zero chemistry. If that's the case, sure. But even then, I wouldn't watch a show just for the side pairings and most people generally don't. Why waste that much time just to live off of crumbs for a ship that may not even be in the episode because they're not that important enough to be in every episode?

[kyndaris]

The Next Right Thing

The theme of grief, learning to ‘let go’ and a megalomaniac as the final villain - where have I heard this plot line before? But while Scarlet Nexus did it first in its charming anime style mixed with confusing story threads that were never fully explored, Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy upped the ante with its careful writing and the banter shared by our erstwhile heroes. Execution is everything. Whereas I couldn’t have cared less about Karen Travers and his obsession with saving Alice, the concept of The Promise and what it could bring back for our ensemble cast had a much greater impact. No wonder then, that Guardians of the Galaxy picked up the award for best narrative of 2021.

Separate from the cinematic universe, the Eidos Montreal’s version still centres on familiar faces. There is Peter Quill, AKA Star-Lord. Rocket. Groot. Drax the Destroyer. And Gamora. But while the game works great in fleshing out the other members (and I love that it does this), the main focus of the story still remains solidly on the human: Peter Jason Quill. After all, he’s the leader of the motley crew. The jam that brought the others together though they may have differing views and clashing personalities. 

As such, it should come as no surprise that the prologue of the game begins with Peter on Earth. It’s his 13th birthday. After listening to the great fictional band Star Lord in the depths of his basement room (and reading a very in-depth review about their album in the Rolling Stones), his mother, Meredith, comes down to find him. Why? Well, how else does someone celebrate the date of their birth? With cake and presents. Just as Peter opens the door to his room, he wakes on his ship. Drax looms over him and the scene transitions to the rest of the Guardians as they prepare for a mission into a Quarantine Zone to make some units and build up their reputations as mercenaries for hire.

It’s a great setup for the actual narrative and showcases the various dynamics inherent in the team. The dialogue is quippy even as it helped to guide me as I played through the area. Better, it called me out for exploring all the nooks and crannies of the carefully crafted levels. After all, one never knows what one might discover - what with outfits, items and archival correspondence to collect.

After competing with Rocket for the glory of knocking down parasite nests (and winning with a decent margin), Peter sees something shiny drop down. When he picks it up, however, it burns his hand and he immediately lets it fall. No mere mortal can wield an Infinity Stone. Unknowingly, though, he has unleashed Magus. And thus, the seed of the adventure ahead.

What became clear in my playthrough of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy and Scarlet Nexus was how the plot remained centred on the main characters. Yes, sometimes outrageous things happened but they fit into the universe created by the developers. There were no left-field revelations that did little to push the plot forward - even if the fight with Fin Fang Foom felt a little forced. Still, that narrative beat was hinted at with Drax’s insistence in the earlier chapters for trying to take on the legendary dragon to appease the Monster Queen of Seknarf Nine.

Everything fitted well into the story. Better yet, it was fun. As someone that has watched almost all of the MCU films, the vibe in the game was reminiscent of the irreverent ways of the movies. Tackling serious issues doesn’t mean that the game needs to be dark and sombre. As Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy shows, humour too can help push back the darkness. Slowly but surely, the pain that we’re left with by the loss of someone doesn’t hurt as much. With time, it scars. And that’s something all the characters must learn by game’s end. Letting go is never easy. Time cannot be reversed, no matter how much one wishes it.

In that way, Nikki’s situation was very sympathetic. It was hard to see her as a villain - caught up in a desperate hope for the impossible. The game also makes it very easy to bond with her in one of the earlier chapters as well. After an explosion on the Hala’s Hope, both she and Quill fall into the depths of the ship. Together, they manage to reach safety. 

Karen Travers, in contrast, never has that opportunity to connect with Yuito and Kasane. He’s already presented as a hero - one that is incredibly and needs no help. Nor do the characters get to journey with him for any significant period or fight with him. Karen is always just out of reach. For that reason alone, he isn’t as easy to connect to or like. 

I also liked how the confrontation with Nikki was a battle but a conversation with a girl grieving the loss of her mother. And just like that, I was transferring the skills I obtained as Alex Chen, empath extraordinaire to Peter Quill, therapist-in-training. Maybe this is a sign that I’m in the wrong profession and maybe I should become a counsellor. Or, at least, give out more unsolicited advice to those around me. I mean, I’m pretty great at it when it comes to pre-programmed AIs. How hard will it be to help actual real life people? (Probably really hard and it’s not as if there are preset dialogue options. Get a grip, Kyndaris!).

But while the narrative and the music (both licenced and original) rocked, the gameplay wasn’t as spectacular as I had hoped. The different elements meant that I could mix them up against the mindless mobs by game’s end, but by then most of my strategy had already cemented into place. And even unlocking new abilities for the crew sometimes felt underwhelming - particularly when Groot and Rocket already had such excellent crowd control abilities right from the start.

The combat then became fairly repetitive and there wasn’t much variety between enemies. Oh, a humanoid with a colour-coded shield to indicate what they’re weak to! How creative! More weird worms? Sure.

Considering how much a flop Marvel’s Avengers had been (which, thankfully, I never bought because after reading up on what the gameplay would be about and watching a few trailers, I never felt quite enamoured by what it offered), I’m glad that Guardians of the Galaxy felt like a return to quality gaming experience with the Marvel brand. Even if the combat could use some work and a few of the triggers for certain in-game actions could have been tweaked. My goodness, I was about to give up on one of the outfits in the Cotati Caves until I finally managed to luck out. The writing, too, was on-brand and carried true to the ones I saw on the silver screen.

Here’s hoping for future entries and maybe a Nikki Gold cameo in Volume 3 of the MCU films.

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM Manga Chapter 147 Review:  Toxic

Story: Preview to a catastrophe

I’m going to do something a little unusual.  Rather than give a summary of what happened, I’m going to save everything else that happens that for the meta and focus the story itself on just one thing.  Garou’s return.

For a guy of many many words, Garou here is wordless, a creature of instinct, rage, and an unstoppable desire to put down any hero he encounters. Social niceties be damned.

no, Fubuki, you don’t belong in this battle

Bomb realises very quickly that this isn’t going to be a fight that he can afford to not engage fully with.  He wastes no time unleashing his trademark long-range offensive move, although he’s no slouch in close- up fighting either.  I love how the panel below superimposes several snapshots in time in a single image, as if the cameraman hasn’t enough time to separate the action into individual frames. It sells the speed and fury of the fight better than many blurry images.  Also Murata is flexing on us with regards to his portrayal of fight choreography, he’s allowed. :)

For his own part, Garou flows effortlessly from conventional to unconventional in his fighting, bending improbably out of the way one moment, parrying in an orthodox manner the next.  Eventually the seeming balance between the two breaks inexorably in Garou’s favour, leaving Bomb marvelling at the former’s incredible evolution.

Nothing for it, there’s no choice but to kill Garou if possible. Bomb hides a hand behind his back as he readies his iron-cutting fist one last time.  It’s unfortunate that Garou has long since intuited how to do the same when he faced off against the Monster King, half a day ago ( I know, it’s been years for us), and does exactly the same, matching up timing and intensity perfectly with Bomb’s, thus cancelling it out.

Bang finally catches up to where the two are fighting to find his elder brother defeated.

Just as at the end of chapter 83, master and disciple face off.  But the atmosphere between the two could not be more different, and the stakes are about as high as they could possibly get.

What new awakening will come from the next fight?  Portents are dire.

Meta: Elsewhere

What doesn’t kill me has made a tactical mistake

For a story whose big schtick is that surviving what should have killed one makes one stronger,  it’s surprising the amount and variety of mileage it gets out of that idea.

Making light of the idea, we have Genos literally rocketing back to his feet and casually dusting himself off after being smashed into a hole in the ground by Black Sperm.  After being thrown into or through so many bits of masonry and earth, getting up with elan is nothing to him.  Damn, he’s become tough! Awesome.

On the opposite side, making dark of the idea, we have Fuhrer Ugly, whose strength of hatred and rage is such that he keeps continuously reforming despite being continually digested by Gums’ digestive fluids... and has turned that into a new ability, able to melt anyone who touches him, kill with his spit, and reform after being cut.  Terrifying.

And on the other other side, a perfect hypotenuse of awesome and terrifying, we have Garou.  He has disinterred himself from the remains of the Monster Association base and while apparently fighting more by instinct than reason, his moves reprise everything he’s learned to date through his life-and-death fights with incredible fluency.

And of course, there’s Tank Top Master whose tank top seems to have magically preserved his life.  I wonder what Fubuki has in mind for Pig God to do to help her help Tank Top Master.

Anyway, talking about serious injury...

Let’s talk about gore, baby

I’ve said before that I’m tired of all injuries accruing to either Genos or Zombieman and wanted some flesh-and-blood to be mangled.  I don’t take that back: share the pain, baby!

But even for my evil heart, hoo, the brutal suddenness with which Fuhrer Ugly ended Zambai’s life was yikes!  Heroes may never die, but those next to them have no such protection.  I’m sorry man.  You paid the highest price for supporting a hero.

Heroes may never die but that doesn’t mean they can’t suffer horribly.  If Tank Top Master being turned into a human patty wasn’t grisly enough, finding out that SuperAlloy’s famously resistant shine isn’t chemically resistant is enough to give one a shudder of horror/disgust:  his hands have been defleshed down to tendon and bone.

Never mind fear; it’s going to be a while before  SuperAlloy *can* fight at all. And with his chest being burned as well, I think that he will be lucky not to come away with disfiguring scars.  He might start wearing a shirt after this...

  ONE, have some mercy for your heroes or half of them will never work again. But not too much mercy, they’ve had it too easy for too long.

There’s more to help than rescue

If you’d told me that this day would see Genos earning the trust and respect of the heroes he has called the bitch and the witch respectively, and that feeling would be mutual, I’d have told you to stop fantasising.   I’ve spent enough words talking about the unexpected compassion he showed to Fubuki when the latter was beside herself with worry for her sister.

Tatsumaki has internalised the advice Blast gave her so thoroughly that she’s come to think herself as being beyond help.  But there’s more to help than haplessly accepting rescue.   Help can also be someone intervening only when you most need it, respecting that you can generally take care of yourself.  Help can be sharing the burden, enabling you to achieve more, more easily.  Help can be having your back so you can fight without fear of ambush.  All of these forms of help Genos has provided to Tatsumaki from the moment the battle pitched high into the sky.  And she’s had his back too.  Seeing her consciously acknowledge that and lean into it was an amazing gift I didn’t know I needed. 

from allies in name only to comrades-in-arms, what a fearsome pair!  Gambatte!

Of course it can get worse

The heroes’ situation seems to be getting worse and worse.  Their number is being whittled down to size: Tank Top Master is out for the count, Bang is tied up, Superalloy Darkshine is maimed, Atomic is out of his main weapon, Child Emperor is lost somewhere and Puri Puri is looking for him, Zombieman and Amai Mask are still pulling themselves together, and Tatsumaki and Genos are standing more by spite than strength. 

On the other hand, the monsters aren’t out of monster by any means.  There’s still lots of Black Sperm, Evil Natural Water is surely sloshing around somewhere,  Vomited Furher Ugly is a pungent threat, and Homeless Emperor is watching proceedings with an amused eye.  I called the monsters the sundew monsters for a reason -- they waste heroes by outlasting their efforts.

The standing heroes are going to need respite, or a diversion, or reinforcements pretty soon or they’re going to all die for real.   Preferably all three.  We’ll take two out of three.

Further notes:  The Cyborg is Listening

The first thing Kuseno says to Genos when the latter comes back after a bruising encounter with a monster is ‘are you alright?’  That we know.  The second thing has to be ‘did you bring me good data?’  Everything that happens to Genos, everything he touches, everything he sees, everything he hears, all that information is recorded for later recall and distillation into useable data.   We’ve been admiring how capable and tough this new upgrade has proven to be.  It’s all hard-won insights, built one on the other.    Does that mean I’m discounting what Genos does?  Hell no.  It’s his extreme courage and willingness to step into the most hopeless situations that has enabled this valuable data to be gathered in the first place.  And it’s his using these wonderful upgrades to push as hard as he can despite the risk that makes it worth Kuseno’s while to stay up late to craft them.  Now I’m super-interested in finding out what new insights the pair will glean from today’s fighting.

...polite engineer for ‘fuck you’

Sure, like many serious things in One-Punch Man, it initially appears as a gag,  but if you’ve not been paying attention to date, hear this: good data is like gold dust in this world.   And people will kill for it.   As we watch the dissipating contrails where Drive Knight was as he carries his precious samples home, don’t way you weren’t warned.

[sonofsallyjackson]

Heroes of Olympus should have been in first-person.

@jo-march-is-a-lesbian​ wrote a really wonderful post about how “Percy Jackson and the Olympians is better than Heroes of Olympus…because it understood simplicity and character development.”  It highlights some reasons I also found HoO less rewarding namely that it was an overcomplicated story with limited character growth, lacked a common thesis, and was super jarring when it switched perspectives.  

And with that my little brain went: I can fix this.  Which frankly is ridiculous.  I can’t come up with a compelling thesis like “The idea that we should place our hope in our loved ones, our friends and our family, and if we do that, we won’t be tempted to give up hope again.”   But I can imagine a simple change that would have solved some of the issues and also played to Rick’s strengths as a writer:  Each book should have been written in first person and narrated by a different character.

With so many people on the quest, I often felt like I was watching a bunch of one-dimensional characters fight for their right to be the main character.  I didn’t know who to focus on but I was also dissatisfied.  There were all these new wonderful characters in front of me who I wanted to love, but I didn’t feel like I actually knew them.  I mean I don’t feel like I know the Stoll Brothers either, but I’m not concerned about that fact because they are side characters.  When everyone is painted as the main character,  I have certain expectations for growth, personality, and voice.  The story would have been better served if the characters took turns narrating the action, allowing us to settle into their perspective, see their growth, and better understand their personality.

Plus Rick kills first-person.  While I’m not particularly a fan of Trials of Apollo, it’s not because I don’t know the characters.  Apollo is so very different than Percy. Their voices, even though they can both be jokesters at times, reflect their different life-experiences, thought processes and provide massive insight into their characters.   If the Seven (and Nico and Reyna) got the same treatment, I would be absolutely giddy.  

I recognize that rewriting the HoO series in first-person is something a talented fanfiction writer with a lot of time on their hands could actually do.  But I am not talented like that and I certainly don’t have the discipline to actually write that much fic, especially if I was trying to keep the events vaguely the same just with different narration and pacing.  So instead I’ve included who I think should have narrated each book below the cut.  I’d love to hear any opinions people have regarding this idea, especially who they would have wanted to see to narrate each book.

In addition to picking the narrator, I’ve highlighted what should be the “quest” so to speak of each story.  Personally, MoA, HoH and BoO are kind of a blur to me despite reading them all recently.  It’s hard to distinguish what happens in each book because it’s all one massive quest with a whole bunch of mini-quests.    While the different narrators would obviously make the books more distinctive, splitting the series into seven books would also help simplify each book’s individual goal.  Eight books would have allowed for better integration of the plot to find the physician’s cure, but with the prophecy of seven, it seemed like seven books was the best option, if I was going to be doing something as blasphemous as splitting books.   

As a note, I ran out of steam as I went so not all opinions are fully fleshed out. 

Book 1:  The Lost Hero The Quest: Rescue Hera/Juno Narrator:  Jason 

Why this would be cool: 

He is literally Juno’s chosen sent on a quest to rescue her.  It’s poetic enough to give him the book.

Jason’s journey is just as much about rediscovering himself as it is about saving Juno.   Of the new characters, I feel like I understand Jason the least. Mainly because I felt like I was missing the entire first half of his story.  Jason, like Percy and Annabeth, is a hero of the Titan War. I know some of his accomplishments, but I don’t have any bearing on what his life was like or how he felt about it.   He doesn’t seem like the type to relish Praetor-ship since he doesn’t have the same intense need to get back to his camp as Percy.  Was he just hoisted on his comrades’ shields after killing the Titan without any real choice in the matter? Give me Jason’s memories coming back slowly over the course of the quest (with potentially a fractured memory of a mistake he made in the Roman’s final Titan battle that makes him doubt their ability to both rescue Piper’s dad and save Hero but he makes the decision to anyway because he can’t just hurt his friend like that.   Let me understand how Jason is the person he is today.  Give me glances of the Roman Camp with emphasis on the heavy expectations that have always followed him as the son of Jupiter and foreshadow why he eventually chooses to design all the shrines for the minor gods so he can have his own place in the world as a figure between the two camps.

Let’s dive into those feelings of anger/guilt/resentment when people at camp are disappointed with him for not being Percy or in Chiron’s case are nervous about what his presence means. 

I want to dig deeper regarding Jason’s feelings about reconnecting with Thalia.  He knows that if the gods hadn’t been determined to keep the two camps completely separate, he could have grown up with his sister. 

What does telling the narrative like this sacrifice:  

We miss some of the internal turmoil regarding the fact that Piper’s Dad has been captured and she must betray her friends. 

We also don’t feel the tensions of Piper’s relationship with Aphrodite. I don’t see Piper bringing up the conversation with her mom saying that her mist memories were so strong because she automatically sensed the potential of a romantic relationship with Jason.  

We don’t have any of Leo’s conflicted feelings regarding rescuing Hera or his fear of being made an outcast for his fire abilities.  Jason has to go with Leo to discover Bunker 9 and Festus.  

Leo doesn’t actively save the day with the Cyclops. 

We don’t know how Piper feels about her charm-speak or see her defeat Madea (as the boys are in their weird trance thing). 

Knowledge about Gaea’s involvement in wrecking Leo’s life will come later.  

Book 2: The Son of Neptune The Quest: Free Thantos Narrator:  Hazel

Why this would be cool: 

The stakes are so incredibly high. Hazel is literally risking her second chance at life by agreeing to go on this chance.  She’s going to the place she died to fight the monster she created. She also has to deal with the trauma of knowing she may have bought the world time with her first sacrifice but it now means nothing if she can’t succeed again.  

We get to see Camp Jupiter from the view of someone who loves it but doesn’t really fit in.  Hazel joined Camp Jupiter just after the final battle.  She enters a community that has learned to fight as a well-oiled machine but that has lost people.  Dakota or the others may remark to her about how things were before or the people who are missing.  Hazel sees a community that she’s not quite a part of both because she didn’t fight in the war and because she’s in the fifth cohort with a feared godly parent.

It would explore her relationship with Nico more (because I love their dynamic and I want more).   She knows she can’t replace his real sister, but she feels comfortable and happy at the opportunity to have a brother, especially one who is out of time like she is.   

What does telling the narrative like this sacrifice:  

Frankly, the largest pushback would be from the fans who expected this to be Percy’s book since we just watched Jason rediscover who he is.

Percy’s phone call to his mom doesn’t have the same intensity.  

Frank’s relationship with Mars and how desperate he was to be claimed but now he doesn’t think he can live up to his father’s expectations.  

Frank and his grandmother.  We aren’t in Frank’s head as he changes shape till later.  

Book 3: Mark of Athena The Quest: Close the Divide Between The Two Camps by finding Athena’s statue and Rescue Nico Narrator(s):  Annabeth and Leo

Why Annabeth: 

So I can have all the emotions at the reunion with Percy.  

Annabeth’s relationship with her Mom has never been great, but imagine beginning the book with Annabeth being given the Mark of Athena. They haven’t left for New Rome yet and her nerves are already all over the place.  Then Athena/Minerva comes, gives her an impossible quest, and breaks her hat.   Annabeth wants to prove to her mother that she’s worthy because despite everything she still values her mother’s opinions.  Also her fatal flaw of hubris makes her believe she will succeed where everyone else failed.

Much of the book already follows her in third person limited so we just get things with a little extra emotion.  

Why Leo:  

Leo has to grapple with the fact he started this war by being the one to fire the cannon even if he didn’t have any control.  He is motivated to fix it

If we’re going to include the Sammy plot, we need to do it now.   Leo doesn’t like being the odd one out on the ship but he certainly doesn’t like the feeling of being notable because of his grandfather.  

We still need to get into those feelings of abandonment and anger at Gaea for killing his mom.  

Nemesis 

Leo comes into his own with the discovery of the Archimedes sphere and the decision to value people over objects.  

What does telling the narrative like this sacrifice:

The aquarium shenanigans 

The fight between Jason and Percy in Kansas needs to happen differently so that the others are present and try to stop it.  

Neither of them went ashore to meet Hercules.  

I think we might need to move up the Calypso meeting to this book, but that also kills some of the suspense since Frank will have the fireproof coating prior to his adventures in Venice when he gains faith in his abilities.  It also might mean Leo opens the fortune cookie from Nemesis unless for some odd reason he doesn’t have it.  There’s a lot more narrative weight for it coming later, but in order to get in as many book events as we can in, it might need to come earlier. 

Book 4:  House of Hades Pt. 1

The Quest: Survive Tartarus Narrator(s): Annabeth and Percy

The first time I read House of Hades, I read it out of order (reading all the Percy and Annabeth chapters until they were on the elevator out of Tartarus before going back and reading the others), because I couldn’t handle the back and forth.  I felt like the tension would build, I’d be invested in this plot and then we’d switch to the other plot. Plus I was very concerned for my children.  So I feel fully justified in saying that there is more than enough material to give the two of them their own book.

I just feel like all the feelings would be magnified.  

Percy’s commentary slowly losing its humor because he can’t anymore.

Annabeth’s guilt at having pulled him in being extra loud.  

Downsides beyond adding an entire book: Just imagine all the outrage at two cliffhangers in a row, because you know the book would end with them in the elevator remembering Bob’s words about the stars.   

Book 5:  House of Hades Pt. 2

The Quest:  Close the Doors of Death Narrator(s): Frank and Hazel

Frank and Hazel experience the most growth on the quest to close the doors so this book is all theirs.  Hazel learns to control the mist.  Frank experiments with his transformations.  I want nothing but them growing into themselves and their abilities.  

The good thing about turning the two warring storylines from House of Hades into separate books is that we lose very little plot.  

Book 6:  House of Hades Pt. 3/Blood of Olympus Pt 1 (Personally I would call this one Ambassador of Pluto)

The Quest:  Unite the Gods’ Personalities. Narrator: Nico

To clarify what I mean by HoH 3, I just mean anything done with the intention of trying to cross paths with Reyna, including the adventure with Cupid, in addition to the existing Nico&Reyna plotline in BoO.  

Nico dealing with all the emotions and his most recent near-death experience.

He kept the secret of the camps so the world wouldn’t end in chaos, but now that the world is in chaos he will be the one to fix it.  

In the short time he’s on the Argo 2, Nico realizes that even though this wasn’t his quest; this is his family and he needs to protect them.  

The reader has a pretty good idea Nico is gay, even if the word isn’t explicitly said from the descriptions (his guilty Percy thoughts - he let down the man he loves even if he won’t admit it.) This means that Cupid’s forceful outing is potentially less surprising so the reader can be properly outraged at Cupid.  

Downside: Reyna definitely has adventures when Nico is passed out, especially the whole waking up with the Hunters, but I think it’s excusable for a whole book from Nico’s perspective.  

Also, the battle between the camps and gifting of the statue needs to happen in this book, but we shouldn’t find out if the gods have regained control of their forms yet.  We alleviate some tensions because Camp Half-blood is likely to be overrun with Octavian’s monsters instead of the Roman armies and Gaea could awaken any second, but there’s an odd moment of calm and an uneasy truce.  (Octavian is potentially taken under custody to be held for trial only to escape in the next book.) 

Book 7:  Blood of Olympus Pt 2 (and the aftermath)

The Quest:  Like The Last Olympian, the final book’s focus is entirely on defeating the series’ big bad, in this case, Gaea.  Leo’s quest for the Physician’s cure parallels Percy’s River Styx visit.  

Narrator(s):  Leo and Piper

Leo has his death hanging over his head.  He has decided that he will be the one to die not any of his friends.  He got the cloth from Calypso so the “fire” portion of the prophecy applies to him and not Frank.  (Yes I know you can’t control prophecies, but do you think that’s going to stop Leo.)  

It’s the ultimate revenge for killing his mom.  We can have memories of both the happy times with Esperanza and the fear he felt for thinking he caused the fire. 

Piper’s perspective is necessary as we need to be with her during the fight with the giants.   

This series began with Piper, Leo, and Jason.  It ends that way too with the three of them killing Gaea and the two of them narrating.  

Downsides: 

The Percabeth I love you-the feud is over scene remains in Piper’s perspective.  

Since we’re not following Reyna’s delivery of the statue concurrently we don’t know when to anticipate the healed gods appearing in the battle with the giants.  

The book can still get away with not showing us Percy’s reunion with Sally or forcing Leo to tell the others he’s alive so they’re all grieving. 

[scripttorture]

in the interrogation as torture post you talked about the ticking bomb scenario and said that torture takes a long time what would you suggest as an alternative to the ticking bomb scenario then? even if you could do observation and investigation what if you only had three hours or so or something and not enough time to do either of those methods? what would be the fastest way of getting information?

If your characters want information fast they should use Google.

 In seriousness- I’ve read a fair bit about interrogation and investigation of terrorism. I’ve lost count of how many things I’ve watched, read and listened to. I’d estimate it’s in the hundreds, possibly thousands.

 I have encountered something close to the fictional ‘ticking bomb scenario’ only once.

 The only reason I encountered anything close to it at all is because researchers looking at torture have been actively trying to find something close to a real-life ‘ticking bomb scenario’ for decades. (The real people involved chose not to use torture and it turned out there was no bomb).

 The truth is that the ‘ticking bomb scenario’ was invented in a work of fiction by a French torturer in Algeria as a way to make himself look like a Tough Hero Doing What France Needed. (I don’t want to name him and boost his ‘work’ but Rejali covers the incident in detail).

 It’s about as realistic as a character jumping off a ten storey building, doing a backflip and landing unscathed on their feet.

 In real investigation people never really have ‘three hours’ and a plausible source of accurate information at the same time. It would be like having your winning lottery ticket get struck by lightning: technically possible but so unlikely no one really considers it seriously.

 So given that; let’s get back to fiction and what authors use the ‘ticking bomb scenario’ for.

 This isn’t something that’s stuck around purely because it’s apologia. We, writers, keep coming back to it because it’s an easy and cheap way to create dramatic tension. It stress tests our characters. It provides a plot the audience will understand in a few seconds. It draws people in.

 I suggest that instead of the ‘ticking bomb scenario’ and a focus on short time limits we all look for other ways to create that tension.

 Part of that means considering what you want to use the ‘ticking bomb scenario’ for. An honest examination of why a problematic trope appeals will help you. Because once you know why you find it interesting you can start coming up with ways to keep that interesting element.

 You mentioned the time limit aspect, so I’m going to come up with a few examples of other ways you can get a count down or a time pressure into the story. Hopefully this will also be helpful to authors who like the scenario for different reasons; it gives you an example of how to think through what appeals and brainstorm different ways of getting that into your story. :)

 The first thing that comes to mind for me is inter-character conflict.

 Skip the ‘three hours to find the intel’ bit. Let’s assume instead the characters know they have three hours because someone came in, gave them all the information they needed and told them they have three hours.

 It would all be simple and they could save the day-

 But their chief rival at work doesn’t want the main character claiming the credit for something this big and is actively sabotaging them.

 If you’ve got multiple organisations or groups in your story and you’ve built up a lot of conflict between them- this would be a really good way to show it exploding and tripping everyone up. If you’ve got petty, spiteful little rivalries and competition going on in your story capture that and show how it can ruin everything.

 Another way would be to use the time limit as the amount of time the investigators have access to the character.

 If that sounds less pressured remember what I said about how long a proper investigation can take. Usually an investigator would have access to a witness over a long period of time. They’d be able to conduct multiple interviews and if new evidence surfaces they’d be able to come back and interview the witness again.

 If that can’t happen- If they’ve only got one shot that could make for a very tense scene.

 Especially if both the investigator and the witness are working without all the relevant information. Because then the investigator doesn’t know exactly what they need to ask, the things the witness is stressing don’t seem relevant- yet. On the other side of the table the witness doesn’t understand why the investigator keeps steering away from this important point or why they keep asking about that really trivial detail. A detail that might later leave the witness in danger.

 There are probably quite a few ways you could put a serious time limit on character interactions. Off the top of my head the witness could be: undercover and unable to communicate with this investigator, due to be deported, in danger if they’re caught communicating with the investigator, under someone else’s control.

 In a piece of historical fiction you have a ready made time limit: miscommunications.

 The time it took for messages (and evidence) to travel between cities could easily result in a situation where bad instructions have been given out. A disaster is now on the horizon and the main character is now in a race against those orders to try and prevent the worst.

 My final suggestion is actually another kind of classic trope: having the heroes break into the villain’s home or workplace looking for recorded information. The time limit is then created by- whatever they’re doing to ensure the villain is out at that moment.

 Those are the most fully fleshed out examples I can think of but if you’re looking to put a time limit into your narrative it’s probably helpful to think about where else it can go.

 The ‘ticking bomb’ makes that time limit entirely about getting the information. That’s not the only place it can go.

 Consider how time pressures might effect the following: interpreting information, acting on information, communication between characters, access to evidence, access to witnesses, collating information from separate sources.

 Consider also that a time pressure gives a character plenty of motivation to do a rushed job. In investigations (much like my own field) that usually means a bad job.

 If your character genuinely believes they have less then three hours to talk to a witness, even a cooperative helpful witness, then that investigator is probably going to miss things.

 And those things could turn out to be really vital to your plot.

 I hope that helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[angstywriterangst]

If you love gothic horror/gothic romance and are looking for a spooky Halloween treat, The Haunting of Bly Manor will certainly satisfy your spooky sweet tooth!

Spoiler Free Review (followed by representation statics that may be considered a bit spoilery by some):

Themes: What I loved about this show was that it wasn't just jumpscares like Boo! 👻 BE SCARED! It was so much more, it's themes as deep as the rippling waters of the lake it centered around. At it's heart, it's really about love. It's about falling in and out of love, different types of love, and the grief and loss we go through trying to stumble on in life after losing our loved ones. Individuals take many paths in love and grief, and even amongst the joy, ecstasy, and pain, these paths can lead to heaven or hell (I mean this semi-metaphorically, no brimstone here). In a way, love and grief arent so different.

Story structure: The other thing I loved was the fantastic foreshadowing/payoff pacing. As an audience I had a lot of fun making predictions and observations and getting satisfying payoffs, and sometimes I was right, sometimes wrong, but it was all satisfying. The writers really kept your interest stringing you along with these breadcrumbs. Everything was connected, no throw away lines or random scenes or unnecessary characters. It was a lot of story to tell in only 9 episodes with an ensemble cast, so it had to be tight and didn't have any wiggle room for meandering, especially because there were some different time lines.

Characters: I found each one crafted thoughtfully and with care, and loved every single character. Even the most sinister were pitiable or sympathetic in some manner, they felt like real people. Some redeemed themselves, some not, some you just were never sure if their motives which was super fun. Each had an individual character arc that was interesting and fully fleshed out, growth, struggles, and satisfying endings.

Scares: As for the scares, I will preface this by saying even if you aren't a horror fan, don't judge it just by it's genre. You will enjoy this if you like mysteries and that gothic atmosphere of foggy English gardens and beautiful old manors (just watch during the light of day if your chicken like me lol). There were some jump scares, but not as many as other horror I've seen, that wasn't the focus. The mystery and gothic ambiance was where most of ominous feeling came from, in otherwords the imagery, which was absolutely gorgeous. There wasn't buckets of blood or gore, the effects were simple but effective. And I also have to really applaud the physicality of the actors and stunt doubles (idk how many scenes were done with doubles, but if there were the physicality was consistent for the characters and the stunt ppl did a great acting job too). A lot of the horror came from the reactions of the actors to their surroundings.

Representation statistics:

Definitely passes bechdel test!

1: adapted and written by a woman, with 7 female main cast members and 6 male main cast members! The focus was definitely feminine, with a large variety of ages (7- 50 something in the main characters), and the male characters were just as varied (age ranged 8- 60).

2: The cast had 5 white main female characters and 2 black, and 4 white male main characters with one Indian. Not the most colorful, but the poc had plenty of screen time and were major players, their ethnicity wasn't their whole character. I think the casting felt fairly colorblind, and two relationships were interacial, one white and black, the other both poc.

3: There was one major gay relationship and 3 straight relationships central to the story.

Bly Manor is the second season in Netflix's horror anthology The Haunting series. The first season was The Haunting of Hill House, but these two stories are completely separate, you do not have to watch Hill House before tucking into Bly Manor. I thought both were excellent though. I have some friends who thought Hill House was a bit confusing but said they found Bly Manor easier to follow, so if you're also in that camp, give Bly Manor a try even if you weren't a fan of Hill House. Also, fans of AHS season 1 will definitely love this.

Have a fun and spooky Halloween everyone! 🎃

[dlkardenal]

A new project! Lovecraftian gothic horror sold as adult dark fantasy

Hey there, traveler!

Dar here with exciting news: we started a new project! First, let’s see if I can entice you, then we’ll do a deeper dive into the how’s and why’s.

A lovecraftian horror / adult dark fantasy in a land that sunk beneath the Earth’s surface around 1000 A.D., and a curse turned half the people into vampires. The order of the day is gloom and despair, human kingdoms are stuck in a perpetual war while the vampire clans toy with powers they barely understand, threatening to unearth an ancient eldritch entity hell bent on consuming the world. 

Are you on board? Good, here we go!

I. Prelude (skip forward if you’re only interested in the WIP) The story of this WIP starts back in 2015, when me and a good friend of mine we shall call Niel got out of high school and into two distant universities. We still wanted to keep in touch somehow, so instead of chatting on facebook like normal people, we created a play-by-post roleplay forum in a dark fantasy setting. This was a land of many races, among these the aforementioned vampires and human kingdoms, but also elves, dark elves, half-angels and more. We created our characters and invited many other players through various channels, and in a few months, we got ourselves a quite populated internet playground. For a fun fact, this was how I met Lory for the first time and we fell in love through roleplaying and chatting on this forum. Years went by, we played many characters but eventually had a falling out with the players, so last fall we left. However we had a really fascinating story cut in half basically with three vampires and the world was just too good to be left alone. After months of trying to recapture the same feeling elsewhere, we just bit the bullet and decided to make it into a grandiose adult fiction novel. Yupp, this is a co-production of three indie writers sticking their heads together to write three distinct point of views around the same conflict. So, what’s this about exactly?

II. The vampires There’s a thing I want to nail down at the beginning. Our vampires are different from most fiction, they do not reproduce by biting people nor do they need blood for survival. They are a new species born from the descendants of an almost forgotten army that tried to invade a new, fertile land but got into such a bloody conflict God punished them with two things. First the very earth broke asunder under them, sinking the land under the Earth’s surface and at the same time a curse struck, making sunlight harmful for them. They hid in caves or perished in the open, only coming out at night, but over centuries they created an entirely nocturnal society and separated from their old enemy, the humans who missed the curse by praying really hard (it’s a bit more complicated, but that’s for a later time). They created the Towers and the Families, colonies of vampires picked by their profession, resulting in entire clans of only hunters, soldiers, physicians and mages. Yes, mages. Because after a while they realized their Curse can tap into a dark power source, creating grotesque magic effects like manipulating living flesh, sewing shadows into solid objects or creating living creatures out of stone – but this came at a price. And that price was blood. The Curse would only lend them magic if they drank blood, so they started enslaving humans to use as a source for magic, forever condemning themselves in the eyes of the southernmost human kingdom and their Church.

III. The characters So, the story follows three characters. 

Aura is a half-blood with a vampire mother but human father, now serving as a low-ranking member in the Thesantei Tower, a family dedicated to maintaining social relationships. She deals with the previously mentioned human slaves and tries to form a bridge between the humans and the accursed, all the while trying to prove herself to be a rightful member of the Thesantei. 

Laetitia, on the other hand is as pure as vampires come. The youngest daughter of the lord of Nerinai, a feared vampire clan of physicians capable of manipulating blood and tissue at will, she arrives at the Thesantei Tower to learn about the only organ her family knows little about: the mind. Only her research doesn’t only tears down the borders of sanity, but her curiosity leads her to dark paths.

Arion is fully vampire, yet far from pure. He’s the bastard son of the Nerinai head dissector – a servant of much higher lords – but his mother is a prestigious Ataris noblewoman, from the family of vampire mages. He left the Nerinai tower when they denied him the right to practice as a physician, now he tries to treat the outlaws and lowlifes of Eschatia, a human kingdom that tolerates him. However his mission to heal requires deeds much more dire than he’d first imagine.

That’s the main three. Their story starts off separate, but after a shocking event that turns the already dark and hopeless land even worse, their fate intertwines in a desperate attempt to save what’s left to be saved.

IV. Where’s Lovecraft in that? I mentioned there’s a Church. We based it on the real life orthodox beliefs, mainly to mix up the usual Spanish inquisition style fantasy religions with something creepier and less known, but also because it has a strong focus on angels.And let me tell you, if you read the Bible literally, angels are anything but pretty. Most angels are many-dimensional horrid monstrosities, with maddening shapes and mind-bending voices – which means they are perfect for cosmic horror feel. I think it isn’t much of a spoiler if I tell you we focus heavily on these eldritch-looking angels, not just as antagonists but all over the spectrum. As I said, this will be a clearly adult fantasy, so it will be chonky. Like really chonky. Drama, politics, horror effects, family bloodlines and dark secrets are a-plenty, and there isn’t enough space in a blog post to touch everything. And if I did, where would be the fun in that? If you’re interested in more details, feel free to comment, I’ll try to address every question!Until then, stay sharp!

Dar

[p-and-p-admin]

Writers’ Weekends Lesson 2.

Welcome to the second class in our Writers’ Weekends series.

Lesson 2. Plot Beats

What do we mean when we talk about story structure?

A story is a complex thing comprised of many interconnected parts. To turn those pieces into a narrative, some sort of organising principle must be imposed by the author.  The result of the organising of the material is the story structure.

Certain structural markers are obvious to the audience, such as chapters in novels. Elizabethan plays are typically divided into five acts. A film script is broken down into acts, sequences, and scenes.

The beat is the smallest unit of story, below the scene in the structural hierarchy. It is the space between an action and the reaction it causes within a scene.

Beat

Scene

Sequence

Act

Story

 Scenes and acts are defined in screenplays, like chapters in novels. But stories have structures that are not usually made obvious or explicit.

This lesson’s focus is on setting out the bare bones you are going to going to hang the flesh of the story on. For the purposes of this lesson, I will be talking about stories that follow a three-act structure.

In screenwriting, it is often called “beating out” the story because you are making sure your story hits the key beats in a three-act structure required to be psychologically satisfying to your audience. The beats have various names depending on which text you read (looking at you “Save the cat”) but ultimately it doesn’t matter what you call them - so long as they are there!  

The key beats you should have for a story to feel complete are:

1. Opening image and The Set-up.

In screenwriting, we always like to have a super-strong “opening image” that sticks in the mind and looks great in the trailer, but in terms of fanfic, I say it is important to weave a really vivid image into that first chapter so it sticks in the mind of the reader - enough so they will click into the next chapter, or hit follow.  It is often an image that relates to the tone of the story and might provide a “snapshot” of the problem the protagonist will face once the adventure begins.

The other part of this beat is The Set-Up (sometimes called “The world at rest”), and it establishes for the reader the general world and situation of the protagonist before the events of the story enact change. This beat will often (but not always) include some iteration of the story’s central theme to the protagonist, who as yet unchanged by the coming story does not understand or accept it.  

2. Inciting incident or Catalyst

The moment where life as it is changes. This is the point in your piece where the events of the story begin to change for your protagonist. It is the visit from Hagrid saying “you’re a wizard Harry”, It is allowing the killer into the house to use the phone, or meeting the true love of your life or discovering the body of a missing person etc. The “before” world is no more, change is underway.

3. First act turning point and Break into Two.

Some people separate these as two distinct beats and you are more than welcome to do that if it makes your planning easier. I tend to find in my writing the first feeds pretty naturally into the second so I tend to beat them together.

The first act turning point is the beat in which your protagonist debates which way to go in reaction to the inciting incident. It is the moment for the protagonist to choose a course of action the consequences of which will play out through the rest of the tale.

For example, if the inciting incident was the bombing of Pearl Harbour the turning point might be the protagonist debating whether or not to enlist in the army and leave their family or not.   

The Break into Two (meaning Act Two) is when having made the choice we see it go into motion.

So again using the above example, having decided to enlist, the protagonist says goodbye to his family and leaves for Boot Camp. It is where the protagonist leaves behind the world of The Set-up and enters the unknown world of Act Two.

4. Subplot and B story

This beat is not always included as key, but I like to use it as a check-in point for myself.

A common complaint about subplots - especially romantic subplots - is that they feel shoe-horned in or tacked on.  This is because they are too often added without thought for how they prove (or disprove) your premise (see lesson 1.) Every scene, every sentence, every bit of dialogue should serve to illustrate the premise of your tale.  It is a common error to write the romantic elements as a completely unrelated thread to the main thrust of the plot.

To avoid that, I use this beat as a palate cleanser. It gives your reader a moment to switch gears between the world of the first act and the coming onslaught of action in Act Two. 

It often manifests as a discussion which features the theme of the story – the central nugget of truth. Usually, this discussion is between the main character and the love interest. It is often the moment you look back on in a movie or series as “the moment” the two characters begin to see one another differently or even start to fall in love.  Obviously, it need not have romantic connotations. Say if your premise is about family bonds, this moment might be a reunion of a father and son through shared labour building a fence etc. but its purpose is the same.

5. The Plot in Motion. (Sometimes called The promise of the premise)

This is where you get into the meaty, juicy part of your plot! Fun! It is where your detective will find the most clues or your action hero will dodge the most bullets. The protagonist is fully engaged with the changing world and the audience will be entertained by the events the protagonist encounters so long as they deliver on the premise.

6. Midpoint

The middle point of any story is (almost always) one of two extremes.

Everything is “great” or everything is “awful”.

The main character either gets everything they think they want (“great”) or doesn’t get what they think they want at all (“awful”). But not everything we think we want is what we actually need in the end. (E.g. The heroine wants the promotion overseas, it isn’t until she has it she realises what she needs is the support of her small hometown community and the love of the boy next door.)

Generally, the tone of your intended ending will indicate which option you are looking for here. If you are writing a romantic comedy with a happy ending, for example, this is the moment your heroine has a fight with her date, goes back to the office and due to her upset, blows her presentation to the Boss and then goes home to find her beloved dog has gotten out of the yard and run away. The remainder of the story is the climb back.  However, if you are writing a tragedy this is the moment when victory is so close and everything is wine and roses and the remainder of the story is the protagonist’s fall into darkness.

7. Second Act Turning point.

The forces of the villain and/or antagonist begins to be brought to bear. Physical and emotional obstacles appear to defeat the main character’s goal, and the main character’s “great”/“awful” situation disintegrates. They face a second choice in course of action, the consequences of which have high stakes and drive the story forward into the final act.

8. Break into Three

Thanks to a fresh idea, new inspiration, or last-minute Thematic advice from the B Story (usually the love interest), the main character chooses to try again. 

9. Climax or Finale

The villain and protagonist meet head-on (figuratively or literally depending on genre). This time around, the main character incorporates the lessons they have learned throughout the story. Having gained insight and strength from discovering the truth of the premise their fight for the goal is a more even and winnable fight because they have experience from the main plot and context from the subplot

10. The New World (Sometimes called Epilogue State) and Final Image. 

This is the symmetrical beat which opposes where we began. It shows the world and the protagonist in their new state of normal, changed by the events of the story. It does not need to be a literal epilogue it can just be the closing paragraphs of a tale which gives the audience a sense of the future that awaits our protagonist and cast of characters. It closes the loop of your story and creates a sense of balance and continuity.

The final image is your last chance to leave something imprinted on the mind of your audience.

It’s Thelma and Louise driving off the edge of the cliff or the “What’s in the box?” ending of Se7en. 

It is a well-accepted truth of screenwriting that audiences go away remembering the first few minutes of a film and the final few minutes of a film and that those “hooks” are what they tell other potential viewers about.  I think this is similar to the way people discuss fanfic - you can’t necessarily differentiate by characters so saying “The one where Hermione hits Bellatrix with a blood-boiling hex” etc. is common. Giving your audience a couple of memorable images will help with expanding the ability of people to find your work when it is recommended.

SUGGESTED TASKS FOR LESSON TWO.

Write a sentence or two for each of the key beats of your story.

Be firm with yourself, don’t try and cram in too much plot. This is just a signpost for each KEY beat. We don’t need every bit of plot or story yet.  

[siirkaian]

its about time i actually started designing the antagonists instead of just daydreaming about where the protags occasionally meet them

i dont generally put warnings here but. some talk of suicide below def. worth the heads up............ the read more is just because its Fucking Long tho lmao

this one has actually been slightly fleshed out in my mind? they dont have a name yet, and its hard to know what Rank they are since ive been moving the story away from violence and A Coming War for a few reasons, most recent one being my friends story (tho they dont know about mine) has gone down the route of having a war at the end.. mostly tho i want to explore telling a good and worthwhile story without a focus on just who can beat up the other team better. The main protag Barren, for example, im bringing down the route of using their visions and ability to see inside peoples minds (in cryptic, symbolic landscapes and stuff) to take down people from the inside out, generally by working through their reasoning and traumas and whatnot to enable them to see clearer and with more empowerment........  and then one protag (Kindle) who joins later knows how to fight, and the third protag (Stardust) keeps them out of trouble, but later reveals that, well, spoilers that have already been seen a million times, hes actually one of the gods who fought in the huge war that happened in the past, and when thats revealed its when he has to fight again but......... he avoids it due to carrying the trauma and issues surrounding that war, as well as his own virulent self doubt and self hatred. so. this character to get back to the point? Wouldve been like a general or something, but im not sure how far I want to take them away from that, maybe to being a high priestex or something? the gods are supremely important to the story, and, spoilers, the main goal of the main antagonist is to bring back the original creator deity of the world, Siirka

I actually have a lot of appreciation for this particular antagonist character, they werent involved with Barren’s mistreatment when Barren was raised in their city by their masters so..... Theyre very much blinded to whats going on, I guess when youre raised in a city which glorifies what the leaders are doing and you get the chance to work for them, and you havent seen the depths of their evil youre going to work extra hard and...... push little red flags out of your mind............ They were extremely loyal and fully or. Mostly. on board with everything happening that they were told about, and worked super fuckin hard to get to the rank theyre at, always pushing boundaries and training and improving and grasping for any sort of genuine praise and signs theyre doing good that they can get, wanting to do their absolute best for the cause and. be worth something to someone. it gets very obsessive, especially as doubts and red flags start actually encroaching on their goals

As Barren and co start causing more trouble, this character’s storyline actually develops separate to the protags. Definitely influenced by them and their continuous defying of the antagonists, which doesnt plant seeds in their mind but waters the ones that are there....... They start realising things arent as peachy and golden as everyone was teaching them it was, they realise their betters either dont really know what theyre doing or may have selfish intentions, or, god forbid, intentions that could land everyone in a fucktonne of trouble - basically all the views they were raised on start having major cracks and Plot Holes in them and they have to come to terms with that. They do a lot of inner work struggling both with their crumbling view of reality and with the fight between either breaking it down more or trying to patch it up with lies, the sort of lies that even the person telling them doesnt know are lies. They get more and more frantic, more detached from reality as much as they try to hold on, struggling with their own identity and with dissociation, and with their mental state unravelling under stress and the inversion of what they were taught as right being morally dangerous, and what they were told to hate being morally good, until finally their boss is killed to further the protag’s goals......... before the protagonists can get to him............ by them. and then they end their own life to prevent themselves being tortured and imprisoned by their masters. I had a scene in mind where the protag’s spend a little arc trying to get to him because they need to take him out, and this character knows theyre coming, so the protags finally get to him at night and find him dead with this character standing over him. They get a brief chat before telling the protags to run, that theyll take the blame for it and the protags will get away without being harmed if they go quick enough, and then they step out of the window BUT its very fuckin important that its made clear that theyre left with no choice - or, more importantly, that theyve finally made their own moral choice in life with their own mind and own feelings - that theyre in their right mind/not acting on despair and need to go before theyre captured - both for theirself but also so they cant be interrogated and have no chance to spill that the protags were there. They basically redeem all the bloodshed and indoctrination theyve had a hand in - and oh, i forgot this bit of important context. Because of the whole staying away from violence thing, they do it to redeem themselves, to stop at least their boss spreading anymore shit, partially also to get revenge for all the lies and stuff, but also importantly because they dont want that on the protag’s conscious. They can handle it, and since they intend to die, they will bring it to their own grave. Death happens rarely in the story, because I want it to be as heavy and serious and soul-destroying as it is irl. They do the traumatising act of having to kill someone and live with the blame because theyve already planned out that they’re going to die to avoid capture. 

Im really.......... wary of portraying suicide in Siirkaia but given Stardust is heavily implied to be back from the dead (having the god of death, Mercy’s, black hair which only he has, though for most of the story its ambiguous as to whether hes working for or is Mercy ((its neither they were lovers lmao))) and Barren and Kindle’s mother Inferno also killed herself its............... im just gonna have to cave and realise im gonna need to address it. I mean, the protags already show (as being the grandchildren/children of and a suicide victim) that its a fuckin tragedy not a solution to anything, but, look. the story is intricately tied to my own mental health and thats shit ive dealt with for years so its going in the melting pot baybey! Also. as if i will EVER write this....... but i still want however i portray it to make clear that..... its a fuckin tragedy and honestly Not The Right Choice IMO

Basically, as a character theyre very hardworking, very Very ambitious, slightly obsessive, and i guess Unhinged because oh boy i am just giving out free personal issues to these characters huh. Their story is ideally going to be a bit more fleshed out than the other antags, because theyre meant to be a bit of the protags in that side of the story. Theyre like.... a case study in the complex and not black/white concept of redemption. The Demos, the people of the story, are at their core defined by submission and being led to terrible things. They were all originally created by the terrible god of life and chaos Siirka to be entertainment. Siirka had passed by Earth and took a liking to the pain and suffering of humanity, specifically loving the way they scream, and so built a fake Earth out of his own substance/power (in universe his body and hair) that was an unoriginal almost exact copy of Earth with.... absent details, like all the animal species being just identical copies of one example of each species, in all white, and a submissive race that looked like humans so that he could rule over them..... The Demos have since been taken from Siirka’s reign, since Siirka was banished in a war by Mercy and the trio of Stardust/Moonshine/Midnight (Siirkaia until i change it roughly translating to “Siirka’s absence”/”no Siirka”/etc), but its still central to the story of the world that the Demos are susceptible to being taken advantage of - though strangely they arent Super different to humans - and to being oppressed, since thats what they were made to be............. Like, Cool Backstory Bro, but its central to everything, it represents whats happening now both metaphorically and literally, the race thats susceptible to being betrayed and used is now starting to be betrayed and used again. Cycles of abuse continuing, learning the worth of the spirit, thats all the story of Siirkaia. The protags of the story represent the spreading empowerment, thats what Mercy gave to the Demos, the power to choose, to exist, to create your own path........ And this character represents that right to choose. Theyre a flower beginning to bloom in a garden full of frost. Theyre hope, and hope taking root and being received and acted on, showing that even if your actions just help one person they were worthwhile. Of course other Demos receive that enlightenment, but this character represents the hope in the Demos, but also the “good” in the “evil”, that, while most of the antagonists’ actions are unforgivable at worst and in no way exempt from criticism at best, theres a reason people are driven to do evil things, and theres a lot of corruption of the mind and personality that happens to drive people to those points. People can act in horrible ways, but its always for a reason, whether its their own trauma or not....  Even “I wanted to” has heavy implications of reasons behind it. This character is one of the few that did the work to begin to escape the cycles they were born into and its important they have their part in the story be heard

as much as i want them to be understood by everyone, as a schizotypal person i see that most people............ do not even try to Start understand people they find slightly odd, so making them “understandably mad” as in showing them show some of the Odd traits of being detached from reality/humanity with the reasons those things come about, and, you know, with the appreciation that its not just “ooo crazy random, unpredictable, youll never know what theyll do next!!” its....... actions that just seem different to those who dont do those actions..... Either way, however i push their character in regards to being misunderstood, i really want their end to be understood, or rather. I want them to be understood in the end. Barren can be incredibly empathetic and understanding, id really love for their final moments to be..... mutual? They did what had to be done for things to change and get better, and in the moments where they meet Barren/Kindle/SD, they finally get seen for what they are, they finally get seen as an entity beyond all the lies pushed onto them, a person who was led astray, who had the goodness in their heart and found the strength to multiply it, to try and right their wrongs, who was, although it looks on the outside like they had it all, actually been manipulated and mistreated by their higher ups and used as a pawn so they didnt have to get their hands dirty, they could just pass on the work to someone else. I really want them to, while they cant really be redeemed because of the damage thats been done, have a few moments of actual peace at the end of their story

.............................or maybe they could run away with the main trio lmao but no, that cant........ really happen because of the important dynamics and the personal (as in interpersonal not about me) nature of the protags and also. while i want the Demos to be revived again at the end, they do get swept away into Siirka’s hair when hes brought back through the big boss of the antags, Ka-UrenKa-, oo spoilers. so. i dont really know if i want to kill a protagonist it seems cheap (the main trio survive because they werent made by siirka........... literally a long fuckin story) because. at current, Siirka being brought back happens out of nowhere, and while the audience technically know its coming should they piece together the symbolism of Barren’s visions, its supposed to be unexpected and. idk man. 

anything else? Oh yeah i think they were originally conceptually conceived to Brutus by the Buttress so you fucking KNOW that i couldve skipped ALL this writing just to put that song in but hey. i would say its their theme song but while inspo was taken from theme and lyrics its actually not accurate to their life beyond a few lines?? and also the overall fucking Mood

[eggoreviews]

9 Things That Need to Happen in Breath of the Wild’s Sequel

Just as I was getting over my intense love for Breath of the Wild, Nintendo go and drop that trailer on us at E3 and stop my whole ass heart. Hi, I’m two months late to the party on this one, but I’ve had a lot of time to think over what this sequel can learn from its predecessor and the rest of the series, as well as what brand new stuff can be brought to the table to make this sequel as spectacular as the first. Without further ado, here’s my list of 9 things Nintendo should do to make this amazing, as well as my own personal theories on what they could do to make it happen. Enjoy!

Spoilers for Breath of the Wild ahead!

1. Ditch the shrines

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the shrines in Breath of the Wild, I loved how difficult some of them were to find, how they brilliantly utilised each and every mechanic in the game and testing you on everything you’ve learned. These shrines were the ultimate compliment to a game that really wasn’t about holding your hand. But I think they’ve had their time, and it might be a nice idea to go back to some of the larger, more traditional dungeons of Zelda past. I’m not saying to go back to the old way of ‘you get given an item, it’s useful for one dungeon and that’s all’, I’m saying they need to definitely keep the massive variety of ways you can approach dungeons to keep that sense of freedom intact, but at the same time give us whole new types of dungeon with more visual variety. Abandoned forts, weird Lorule-esque dark versions of dungeons, towers, there’s really any kind of location they could explore when designing a new set of dungeons. Oh, and I adored the divine beasts, but I’m hoping for something completely different and surprising when it comes to main story dungeons this time around.

2. A whole new world map

If there’s one thing I think basically everyone agrees on, it’s that Breath of the Wild absolutely nailed its world. A huge, sprawling map with a variety of locales to explore and all of it packed to the brim with extra content and adventure-y fun. But we all know this world inside out, and even if they strip it bare and fill it with brand new secrets, it’ll still feel too much like something we’ve seen before. So from what we know from the trailer, it seems like Link and Zelda will be delving into the underground in this latest installment, so a fairly safe theory would be that they’ll uncover a whole new world down there, perhaps a forgotten and buried civilisation from thousands of years ago, now overgrown with Ganon’s influence and bizarre plants and animals that don’t exist on the surface. If they’re going full Majora’s Mask on this one, I think Nintendo’s best bet is to fully embrace this new darker tone they’ve shown to us and give us a world that is as twisted as that trailer.

3. Keep Zelda’s importance to the plot

I could honestly make a whole separate blog post about the evolution of Zelda as a character throughout the series, from her literally being asleep the whole time in Zelda II, to her role as more of a quest-giver in Ocarina and more recent games like Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword where she plays a much more active role in the plot. In Breath of the Wild however, they did something completely different that I adored; they made her into her own person. I mean sure, she was never completely devoid of character, but between the games where she wasn’t really there and the games where she’s outshone by every other character, Breath of the Wild really felt like her time to be properly fleshed out and have enough depth to be remembered. Sure, Zelda doesn’t turn up in the flesh until the end, but you spend the whole game with her voice guiding you, with you finding memories of your past with Zelda; how she seemed to have only contempt for you at the beginning because of Link’s fulfilled destiny compared to hers. You form your own opinion of her through her actions and how the champions perceive her (Urbosa as her sort of mother figure, Revali sees her as ever so slightly inferior for not being able to access her power and the mutual respect between Mipha and Zelda). Then you watch their relationship grow and change into something neither of them can really understand, but they become so close and so integral to each other that Zelda is the one to finally make him open up about himself. And that makes it all the more heartbreaking that Link has had all these memories snatched away from him and, of course, all the more gratifying when he finally gets them back so him and you, the player, both understand that you’re not just fighting for the safety of a realm you’ve been shoved into with no recollection of what’s happening, you’re fighting to be reunited with Link’s closest friend. Very probably more than friend, considering that final memory in Korok Forest. Nintendo did a brilliant job of laying the groundwork for Zelda not as a plot device or a damsel in distress, but a real, complex human being who enriches the story and makes the world you’re living in and what you’re fighting for feel more alive. So build on top of this! Keep developing Zelda, ask those questions of how Zelda feels now she’s free of Ganon and her constant fear of her power failing, how 100 years alone facing a demon has affected her mental health and, most of all, how everything that happened in Breath of the Wild changed their relationship. Are they together now? Do they have any idea what they are really? Do they just pick up where they left off or do they have to make an active effort to regain that close relationship they had before? I don’t know, but I’m really hoping we find out.

4. Ditch the sheikah slate

Get rid of it. Do it, cowards. Make Link drop it over a ledge in the first 10 minutes or something. Much like the shrines, the sheikah slate was such a fantastic idea and gave you 4 brand new powers to play around with in the massive sandbox world full of puzzles and it was great fun! But again, we know those powers too well now; we know how they work and how they can be exploited when you think outside of the box. What I want is for Nintendo to keep that brilliant creativity when it comes to gameplay mechanics, don’t just give us bombs and an ocarina again, give us something unique to this experience! I mean yeah, they could just give us an updated sheikah slate; a different model perhaps that dates back even further than the original one that has some weird abilities (maybe even a slate that’s somehow been infected with Ganon’s influence, that’d be funky), but my hopes are riding on Nintendo pulling something completely different out of the bag for this one. Making Link lose everything and only be able to use whatever he can salvage in this ancient, evil place is surely going to have a whole host of ideas behind it so I’m curious to see what they can come up with.

5. Embrace the darker tone

This sort of goes without seeing considering what we’ve seen so far, but I really want them to go full in with this darker atmosphere they’ve shown us. I mean, Breath of the Wild was never a ‘light’ game so to speak, but most of the games darker elements were masked by its beautiful landscapes and huge array of colourful characters that made Hyrule feel alive. There hints here and there of a much more macabre side to the realm; destroyed battlefield littered with rusty weapons, old structures covered in Ganon’s malice and the general feeling that Ganon was always watching you from the castle that you can see basically anywhere on the map. I want them to take that mild dread they instilled and turn it up to eleven. And one way that can be accentuated is through the plot. For example, we know a fair amount about the Sheikah tribe at this point, but what if there’s a side that was never explored? What if there’s a much more sinister reason why the Sheikah tribe were suddenly shunned by the royal family all those years ago? Or maybe the Sheikah found something under the castle as well as the divine beasts that they left buried down there and hoped no one would ever find it. Oh, and I’ve heard a theory that Calamity Ganon was just a puppet of the real Ganondorf, who was hiding underneath the castle all this time, which is absolutely terrifying if you consider what the puppet managed to achieve on its own. Not just plot stuff like this, but the music (keep that ambient style they went for before that knows when to amp it up and make it epic, but with a creepier vibe to match the tone of the world), the visuals, the sounds you hear while exploring. Nintendo need to make it clear that we aren’t in Kansas anymore; no more soft piano melodies while riding through beautiful valleys on my horse, make it spooky!! Unsettling, distorted notes playing through dark, twisted woods with trees gnarling into each other and shiny eyes peeking out at you from the canopy. Or something. Who knows, I just wanna be spooked.

6. A much fuller story

One of the main criticisms I always hear for this game is its lack of story content, which I suppose is true to an extent. But I don’t think this let the game down at all really. The game was far less linear than previous titles, so it makes sense that the story they were telling was much more general, but I don’t think this kind of approach would fit as well in its sequel. Nintendo told us just enough in Breath of the Wild to keep us guessing; we were introduced to this particular version of Hyrule, its inhabitants and what Ganon’s up to etc. But they’ve deliberately been extremely vague on what could possibly be explored in a sequel, as well as where/if these two games even fit into the overall Zelda timeline. They deliberately lifted focus off the narrative to make the world and how you traverse it the central point of your adventure. But now that they seem to be plunging us into a much darker world and have given us so many unanswered questions, I reckon its time to dial the narrative back up and give us a bit more of a beefy story to go with our hell exploring.

7. Change in characters

Slightly vague subtitle, but here’s what I mean. As I mentioned beforehand, Breath of the Wild is full of colourful characters that populate the towns as well as the general landscapes, from merchants to adventurers and shield-surfers to Beedle (I love Beedle). And for the most part, these characters all want to help you along on your journey by giving you helpful advice or sending you off on quests to find more shrines. And while I’m not saying this sequel should do away with all helpful NPCs, I do think there should be fewer of them. When designing new towns and settlements, they could give us the odd helpful citizen here and there, but for the most part, how would the inhabitants of this forgotten underground place treat Link? I think it would add to the atmosphere really well by having some of the characters that populate the world deliberately unnerve Link when giving him advice or telling him something helpful and then mocking him at how ineffectual he is at completing his quest. Or if they really want to go a bit overboard, they could even have occasional encounters where talking to the wrong NPCs can end in a random fight, in the same vein as the disguised Yiga in Breath of the Wild. But of course, you don’t want to only populate a world with characters that hate you (that’s what MediEvil is for), so some form of guide would maybe be a welcome addition. If not Zelda (I would definitely welcome the idea of her being along for the ride, though I fear it would take away some of the nerves if you have Zelda as an anchor of familiarity), then perhaps the ghost of a Sheikah from thousands of years past that never agreed with what his tribe were doing or was responsible for something in his life that he now deeply regrets and he can’t pass on until Link helps to finally defeat the real Ganon. Who knows what they’ll do with the characters, but as long as they leave Navi and Tatl back on the N64, pretty much anything will do me.

8. Keep the stamina wheel

As much as I’ve bleated on about everything I want them to change or add in, this is something I most definitely want them to keep. The core gameplay, while I can’t imagine them really changing it, is integral to the sandbox world they created. Having Link be able to sprint, jump, climb up literally anything is what gave players such a sense of freedom; being given this whole massive world to explore and being able to access absolutely all of it. And while I’ve talked a lot about how much I’d like this sequel’s tone and approach to narrative and a bunch of other things to change, this game absolutely needs to keep the same sense of unabashed freedom we had in the first game. And the most integral part of that freedom was the stamina wheel. Short segment I know, but that’s all I really had to say on that one. Let me climb things, Nintendo.

9. Switch up the monsters

In Breath of the Wild, there was an excellent balance of amazing new designs for old favourite monsters, as well as a whole host of new ones (the guardians and the moldugas getting a special mention here). But I reckon what this sequel needs is some brand new monsters to add to the pile; a larger variety of monsters to encounter out in the wilderness would enrich this new darker world we could be exploring to no end. Also, while I really loved all the main story bosses in BotW, I feel as if a larger design variety of story bosses would benefit this sequel. Imagine the potential for whatever ancient monsters are down under the castle to give Link a hard time and what kind of an epic fight is Ganondorf going to put up when we finally get there?? Just as a little idea to throw out there, maybe undead Sheikah will make an appearance as an enemy, woken from the dead and forced into Ganon’s service after being infected by malice. And hey, the Yiga Clan never really got full closure! Yeah Link gets rid of their leader, but the Clan is very much still alive and kicking by the time of Calamity Ganon’s death, so perhaps they’ll play a central role once again now that Ganondorf seems to have come back into the picture. What would make the Yiga even more menacing is if this were their plan all along; knowing that Link very well could defeat Calamity Ganon and then, after retaking the castle, be drawn underground to free the real culprit. Nobody knows what direction Nintendo are going to take with any of this, other than ‘it’ll probably be kinda spooky’, but I am way too excited to find out.

Got any cool ideas or theories of your own? Anything you want them to add or take away in this sequel? Drop it down below in the comments! I’d be v interested to hear if you have anything to add. Thanks for reading and let’s hope the wait isn’t too painful!

[the-colony-roleplay]

OCS, SKELETONS & AN ALL NEW NWRF EXTRAVAGANZA

Okay guys! We come to you with another really exciting announcement! 

As you probably know, Lottie and I are always working hard behind the scenes coming up with ideas for future plots, and potential changes/expansions that will help ensure the longevity of the Colony’s life. And we have lots in store for you guys, things that we hope to release or expand over the next year, but our current project and focus, especially since we’re not able to get into the next Games Live Play until Game season is back upon us in the verse, is to do with helping to foster an actively played, NWRF presence at the Colony. 

After some discussion about the current environment of the game, and the kinds of things that might help to make it continue to prosper as well as it has been these past couple years, we’d like to help strengthen the active conflict dynamic within the RP. As of now, the verse has plenty to work with, which has helped us immensely in the last three years, since the drop of the NWRF plot. However, we’ve been thinking that since we’re all one big happy family just trying to play a cool game, what kinds of tools can we introduce to help make the game even better and more accessible for everyone? So....

Introducing ‘Plot Device’ Skeleton bios! 

Starting now, we’re going to start working on and rolling out skeleton bios specifically designed for characters that will help move the plot forward, and open doors for new and exciting tension and content! For the time being, since this is essentially an NWRF themed promotional festival (lol, the irony is obscene), all of these skeletons will be NWRF, with potential for other roles and bio types in the future. 

These skeletons, however, will come with their own parameters for activity and play, which will hopefully help make filling these roles more feasible, and make the gameplay more exciting and fun for the whole group! The parameters will be as follows: 

Skeletons (or ‘skeles’ as I’ve taken to calling them) will be designed in such a way that they can be temporary, if need be.  That is to say, if we’re in need of someone on a temporary basis to help make a certain plot more interesting or dynamic, these characters can be played on a temporary basis. Of course, hanging onto them is always encouraged too! If you fall in love, who are we to take them away from you! :) 

Picking up a skeleton will not count towards your character count. 

Muns will not be specifically required to write paras on skeletons, UNLESS it’s for a big/action heavy plot, etc.  Essentially, we will always encourage paras, especially since half of y’alls chats are basically long enough to be paras—but with these skeles, you will not be expected to para in the same way you are with regular bios. The exception to this will be applied when you’re participating in a plot where the content sort of demands para format anyway. 

Skeleton bios will have an extended activity limit of TEN days.  We know that NWRF type characters can be a heavier load sometimes, in terms of muse, and the weightiness of threads. But these skeletons are designed more to be sort of part-time characters, whose appearances on the dash will really help shake things up, but don’t necessarily have to be as present. That being said, goodness gracious, if you can be as active on them as your other characters please do so. We are not suggesting you can’t dedicate as much time to these guys. Just that they are designed to be more flexible, so more people feel they have the time to pick them up, which will help add cool versatility to the active player plotting opportunities. 

Similarly, Skeles will not be expected to have as many on going interactions at one given time.  So, yes, we still want people to RP with a variety of characters and members, and try to experience plotting and threading with everyone eventually. But you will not be under the same expectations to have that many threads going at one given time, or to reply to as many starters, etc. We still hope for diversity, but as ‘plot-device’ characters, our goal for them is to add range to the dash that will be beneficial to the plot and for people’s muse, while not bogging down our muns or be quite as large of a commitment.  (We may set a minimum number of 3, but these rules will be solidified in the future). 

Skeles will only have suggested FCs (some requirements accordingly, like POC, etc) age ranges, +/- traits, and general summaries.  Like most skeletons, these will be character guides that we would like the muns to get creative with and flesh out in their own way. We will provide character labels, (rather than full names), job titles, a small summary of the character, and some general aesthetic/moods. From there, you will be free to do the rest. This also means that the application will be different for these bios, and that will be released at a later date. 

Skeletons that are dropped will be handled on a case by case basis much like any other bio. They’ll either be closed and written out of the story, reopened to be played again in the future, or potentially reopened as a full bio, if the mun decides to release it as such. 

Skeleton bios will only be available to current members.  This is strictly because if you are going to be a member of this RP, you should start with a fully committed character, with regular activity requirements and participation. We want new members to get the most out of their time here and to really be a part of this community, and these particular skeletons are fashioned in such a way that the requirements wouldn’t be beneficial to you as a new member. However, if you are a new member and you’re interested in NWRF roles, keep in mind there will always be the full NWRF bios, as found on on our open masterlist, as well as the possibility of writing OCs! And finally, if you’ve absolutely fallen in love with a skeleton, and want to apply for it as a full character with normal activity requirements, that’s certainly something that could be discussed, and we encourage you to come to us about that if you’d like! 

NWRF OOC Blog

One of the challenging things about playing NWRF characters is their connection to the main plot, which is largely executed and controlled by the admins, so communication is essential, and across so many players in so many different timezones, it can sometimes be confusing. So, starting this week, we’re going to be introducing a secondary OOC, that will be specifically reserved for plotting and sharing information between NWRF reps, guards, lab techs, etc etc etc, with regards to the goings on in the Colony. It will be where you can easily plot and drop notes and ideas, so you all have one place to communicate together where timezones won’t be an issue, and things won’t get too cluttered like they might in a group chat. 

The separation of this is only to be able to retain a bit of fun and mystery when it comes to Lottie and I not wanting to spoil event ideas and plot drops for everyone, but needing to loop in some of the NWRF for their own character dev or what have you, etc. This OOC, however, will never be for socializing, because we have no intention of splitting up the family in anyway.  It’ll exclusively be for plotting and the sharing of NWRF related info, etc. We’re hoping this method will help facilitate an easier and more cohesive system to playing an NWRF character. 

 Opening NWRF OCs

We’ve been on OC ban for some time now, and we had planned to do another stint of opening them up for a limited time. We have decided, however, to simply fully open NWRF OCs. (Not to worry, there will be more opportunities to apply for non-NWRF OCs in the future, but if anyone is interested in that, come chat with us about it off anon!) For now, however, since our current goal is to focus on getting more NWRF up and running in the game play, and we didn’t necessarily want to go on an NWRF exclusive ban, we figured this was a great alternative! 

The NWRF Incentive! (Better than it sounds!!) 

So, in the interest of boosting our NWRF presence here at Col22, we’re sort of rolling out a Bay-Day-Sale type promotion (haha). So, for a limited time only, anyone who applies for a FULL NWRF OPEN BIO (as in not a skeleton) will get to enjoy an extended activity limit of 9 DAYS for the first 3 MONTHS after their application. This is purely promotional, and will not be offered forever, but for the time being, it’s a little extra incentive for you guys to get your bums in gear! We also figured since the Skeleton bios will have a more lax activity limit, we may as well boost our full NWRF bios as well! The more the merrier, right!?

In Closing...

Obviously, the roll out of the skeletons themselves will take some time, and will be gradual. Lottie is about to go on a hiatus for about a week, and obviously I’m working stupid film hours, but hopefully we’ll get some posted for you next weekend! We just really wanted to give everyone the news now, so people can start thinking about it. 

If you have any ideas of things you’d like to see as skeletons, definitely let us know, and feel free to pitch us your ideas! And as always, if you have any questions at all or things you want clarified about this, don’t be afraid to hit us up here on the main blog! Please refer to the Ask Box so we can reply publicly and benefit everyone! 

Okay, that’s all for now folks! So much love to you all from the both of us,  and so very proud!!!

xoxo

Col!Mods

[fantroll-purgatory]

hi heres a thing. 

(She sure is! This profile is frankly pretty sparse, so most of my comments are going to be vision-focused as opposed to character-focused.) -SA (Design-wise I think she’s pretty solid, though I would recommend making her scheme a bit darker. Alternian trolls reallllllly like using Black for everything, but otherwise she’s totally in line with the Indigos we’ve met via Troll Call, especially the white accents.)

Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?: Alternia Name: Vikter Physus Vikter is the troll version of “Victor” (reference to Victor Frankenstein) (also yeah i was that one anon) and Physus because…science (i didn’t have any other ideas)

(I talk about over-commitment to gimmick a lot, which is the source of a lot of the problems I find with fantrolls. However, with Vikter, I think your main conceptual problem right off the bat is a lack of a focus. You have a stock character here: Zany Scientist, that you’ve converted into a troll, but you haven’t done a ton with it to expand her as a character.) (I think this starts in the name: Maybe it’s my own background speaking, but people don’t really do all science. “Science” is so broad that you can’t do it all. You claim to base her off of Victor Frankenstein, but very rarely allude to the things that Sir Frankenstein was into- Alchemy, Immortality, Playing God, and the Creation Of Life Ex Nihilo.) (I think you should focus a bit more on the Chemist Motif you have playing through her character- focus a bit more on alchemy (and later in SGRUB, Alchemization maybe?) to help keep her together.) Age: 6 Sweeps Fetch Modus: Chem. Modus You have to combine the right elements to get your items 

(This but with some classic Adventure Game Moon Logic. She’s got like, the tears of a clown, solid mercury, and a screaming duck. Good luck.) Strife Specibus: Not sure

(An easy option is to have her make concoctions and throw ‘em at people! Helps keep her chemistry focus relevant.) Symbol and Meaning: Sagipia (Indigo + Derse + Light)

(Since this character has so little meat to her, I’m not going to suggest alternates to this: I’m going to give you guidelines to make her fit this.) (Indigos have a habit of being a bit job-obsessed, theming themselves around a particular occupation. Vikter’s got this in spades. However, they’re also known for being a bit full of themselves and self-important, coupled with an unfortunate lack of tact. While ordinarily I’d recommend straying a little from this to make your character more unique- Vikter’s Mad Scientist shtick wants all of these traits. A little powermad, more than a little pride...) (Derse Players are tumultous. They can’t sit still and let things pass them by. For Vikter, she’d need a bit more dissatisfaction, a bit more rebellion boiling in her blood. Victor Frankenstein was a Derse player, probably. He was constantly trying to push the envelope, trying to defy God and create life without divine intervention from the bodies of the dead. The fact that he succeeded should probably tell you a little about the drives of most Derse players. Derse players also don’t like revealing their true selves- perhaps there’s an element of artifice or pretension to her Mad Scientist self? Maybe she puts it on as a way of getting attention, of stealing the spotlight from other researchers?) (This leads me into my next point: Light players. Light player want the spotlight, even in passive classes. Sometimes it just kind of happens to them, but more often than not they seek it out and revel in it. Vikter’s going to need a bit more megalomania, I feel. She’s a Noble Blood AND a Light player? You know who was ALSO both of these things? Vriska. Vriska is the prototypical light player for good reason. She does it all, and with style. But if you want other Dersites, look no further than Rose Lalonde, Derse Seer of Light, who’d rather throw herself to the Void than give up her spot on the center stage.) Pesterchum: superciliousTechnologist (ST)

(Here’s where I come back to a lack of focus: Technologist? When? Where? Nowhere in this profile does it hint at Vikter being into tech of any sort, even if it’s been seen in Indigos before. “Supercillious” draws a point I made before: a need for this character to be a bit haughty and self-important.) Quirk: Letters are separated into squares like elements on the periodic table. [T][h][e] [Q][u][i][c][k] [r][e][d] [F][o][x] [J][u][m][p][e][d] [O][v][e][r] [T][h][e] [L][a][z][y] [D][o][g] (While this is thematic, I worry this would be a NIGHTMARE to type, and it doesn’t scan super well. Perhaps we could change her surname to a specific element, and have her bracket those? Like “Ferous” for Iron and [Fe] for the letters?) Lusus: A Bear, because they represent knowledge n all. (...Do... do they? Where is this coming from? I have never heard this in my life: Bears are often culturally symbols of strength and guardianship. You say this offhand like it’s obvious but? I have zero idea where this comes from.) (From what we’ve seen as well, Indigo lusii tend to be ungulates, things like Horses and Zebras and Goats.) Personality: She’s eccentric, but a bit self centered. She only really acts violent when it’ll benefit her (ex. experimenting on trolls). She’s only close too a few trolls, and cares deeply for those said few.  (Bluebloods don’t usually have that kind of self-control. Aradia became violent just from having blue blood running through her robot body, remember. Is there a reason her self-control is so good? You could build a story here instead of discarding it.) Interests: Science of course!, and debating.  (This NEEDS to be separated into Chemistry, first of all. What other parts of Science intrigue her? Ethics? Transhumanism? Biology? Athletic Science?) (I like the idea of her liking to debate people as a method to shout them down and prove her superiority. I bet she loves yelling at people on Troll!Twitter.) (What else is she interested in? Remember that Equius also was a blueblood with a love of science, and yet that wasn’t his entire thing. He liked robotics, and converting people to his view of the hemospectrum, and bodybuilding, and archery...) Title: Maid of Light (Maid. Interesting. Maid forces you to write her as someone who CREATES the spotlight around herself who provides and is self sufficient. I don’t have enough here to tell you that it’s a good or bad idea, but if you flesh her out more, I think she could grow into it. Inversing to a Bard of Void, passively destroying doubt and mystery by relentless SCIENCE! seems like a solid game plan.) Land: Land of Sparks and Theories Dream Planet: Derse (Check my Sign Comments for this.) (By the way, I would love to see an expanded form of Vikter in the future! Hopefully my comments here and there will give you a springboard to broaden her and make her a more cohesive, fully realized character!) -SA