#I mean poor Kate but also poor Javi

[tempesttamers]

Imagine how awful it must have been for Javi to not know what was going on with his friends, calling out over the radio but never receiving a reply. How long was it before he learned he lost three of his best friends??

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Hey CJ, you mentioned that you disagree with a lot of your old TWDG opinions, any that stand out you wanna share? Also i agree with what you said about wanting to play the series for the first time again with no prior knowledge - i would love to meet louis character for the first time again.

Yeah, some opinions have changed with time and moving on from being a hardcore, active fan in the fandom. I'm pretty sure I've talked about some of them more recently, like how I used to not like Jane but now I've become something of a "Jane apologist," if you will.

I was also super vocal about hating the Clementine comics when the 12-page comic dropped, and I'm pretty sure I was shitty about Tillie Walden... which I look back on now and feel embarrassed. In fact, I specifically remember calling attention to the fact that Skybound turned off comments on the first book trailer and on their instagram, twitter, etc. and being like, "look at these COWARDS! they know we hate the comic and that Tillie's a bad artist, they're trying to shut us up!" ........but then I heard they turned them off because Tillie was getting threats, and it caused me to dig around and see the vile shit fans were saying.... It gave me pause to think things through and I feel very differently about it all now.

I've also changed my mind on Minerva. Like Jane, there was a loooong period of time where I didn't like her, but now? I think she's great. A real tragedy.

In fact, real talk, I think my perspective on most of the female characters in TWDG has shifted dramatically. I've done a lot of thinking on this just in general; I'm much harder on female characters than male characters. I can pretend like noooooo I was always soooo fair... but no, not always. I'm sure it's from some deep-rooted, internalized misogyny I have that I'm working on, but I also think the games sometimes neglect those characters, too. Which makes it easier to brush them off as just "poorly-written" and "bad characters" if I don't like them when that's not always the case.

Or let's be real, we all know how this goes; the games give us a flawed male character and fans are like "he's my blorbo, here's a 50k essay about why he deserved better and a list of my headcanons and the twenty AUs I've written for them-" but then a female character's just as flawed and fans are like "lol she's poorly written, here's an essay on why-"

Don't look at me like that. I know I'm guilty of this. I know y'all remember Mitch. Back in the day, Mitch was my boy and I used to write about him all the time but like... god forbid I put that much effort into writing about Violet or Minerva, right?

Or even look at Kate, for example. Past CJ would've talked about how much she doesn't like Kate and she hates the forced romance with Javi, she's just there as a way to make David and Javi fight, etc. But you ask me about Kate now and I'm like, "Girl, ANF did you so dirty, you didn't deserve this."

Or how about Bonnie in S2? We all love to hate on Bonnie, but like... she's such an interesting character?? She's a recovering drug addict so desperate for a place, and you can see Carver's manipulation at play in the way she talks about him to Clementine. It takes seeing him physically beat Kenny within an inch of his life before she's like "Yeah no, fuck this, we're leaving tonight." And we give her shit about Luke's death and being mean to Clementine but frankly? Yeah, she's mean to Clementine and that's fine.

What, it's okay for Kenny to lash out and call her a stupid kid when Sarita dies because he's your poor meow meow and it makes his character soooo morally gray and complex? But Bonnie lashes out about Luke's death and suddenly she's just a massive piece of shit? No complexities or anything? There's no grey morality? No underlying motive or emotions behind the choice to abandon the group with Mike and Arvo?? She's just a bitch??

And do I even need to talk about Sarah? Hmm? We all know how Sarah was received and how fans still talk about her. Again, Sarah has a complete meltdown over losing her father and people get hurt, and fans wish death upon her... but Kenny has a meltdown and brutally beats up Arvo or threatens to smack Clementine or a number of things.... "that's fine, he's just really upset, he lost his family, y'know? everyone keeps trying to GASLIGHT me that he's bad but if you really think about it, Arvo totally deserved to be abused and it's actually Clementine's fault Kenny hit her because she tried to stop him-"

I just... the lengths we go to justify and defend this violent, toxic character but then act like Jane is the worst, I can't-

It's so funny to me whenever I see someone in the fandom complain about wanting more morally grey, flawed female characters because like... y'all couldn't even handle Jane. Or Lilly. Or Sarah. Or Bonnie. Rebecca. Eleanor. Christa. Minerva and Violet, in a lot of cases. So like... what do you actually want?

Note that I'm guilty of this, too, and I've asked myself that question... haven't fully worked out the answer yet.

That's the major thing that comes to mind about opinions I had that I've changed my mind about. I think a big factor in that is letting twdg go and getting invested in other fandoms, doing a lot more reading, getting back into writing, etc. Obviously I've really gotten into the Dragon Age fandom and that's what triggered this "journey of self-reflection~" when it comes to how I perceive female characters. Like, you want flawed, morally-grey ladies? That's your series... assuming you can actually handle it.

But I also recently finished a playthrough of Fallout New Vegas and remembered my love for Veronica Santangelo, like... I don't care that the game doesn't technically have romance, that's my girlfriend, I love her. Then the other night I finished my first playthrough of Life is Strange True Colors [I know, where the fuck have I been, right?] and I spent 40% of the time looking at flowers, 10% being sad about Gabe, and the other 50% trying to figure out who I liked more, Steph or Ryan.

I've also been reading a lot of wlw novels which is just..... THAT'S a whole mess I won't get into because this is already long enough and you didn't ask. Just know that's also another factor in this reflection.

And to answer the other part of your ask: I miss Louis. I would love to play TFS again for the first time again, that was a fun time.

[castle-dominion]

5x11 under the influence PLOT HEAVY more like plot Javi. But it is not really plot heavy more like backstory heavy. Like the ike thornton episode.

Wow they just went around her for josie lang making her sound old hoodie kid? labelmaker playlist

captions say Zito & he is leaning on the cement all comfy You should lose two turns ryan pretty, esposito also nice shirt Shut the up (also how young of a girl scout, kinda sus) 11-midnight? How did she work the party until 1? (btw that tarp is way to square to have unwrapped a body)

lol KILLER party

check by the pool XD

starting the morning with... booze? It can be good for a hangover but... Ah she left early that's how she died before she was scheduled Good response from Regina: Great. Now I feel bad for complaining.

Becks is pretty enough with that turtleneck Oof. I mean music saves ur life like that!

What is dripping from her hair? KFC has more MSG than most chinese places

KR: If Tyrese is such big time, why is the entrance to his studio in an alley? JE: Because. Celebrities don’t want paparazzi taking their picture all the time. (he looks over to see KR: run a hand through his hair and he stops short) Yo. Did you just do the hair thing? KR: What hair thing? JE: Every time you’re about to meet a celebrity or a pretty girl you run your hand through your hair. KR: (he ignores that) TMZ said that Tyrese was at that party with Josie Lang. He’s producing her new album. JE: Yeah well, she’s no Regina. KR: I understand the image of her as a girl scout is seared into your memory, but Josie is a real vocalist. JE: Whose fan base consists of 12 year old girls … and you.

KR: Hey, since Josie was at the party I should probably take her statement, right? You got this, right bro? Thanks. XD

Been shot like seven times!?!?

"kev" & also jenny uwu

that was JUST for this year's awards!? What has he done before that!?

Unless you my momma

Nice rings on this man tho fancy shirt poofy hair lol The bitch had an assistant bitch? Reichle probably had fun "different girl" like that one tiktok audio "leah, amy, you know why we call her brianna right?" XD good it helps my street cred My man brought a lighting guy for his mugshot?

Wow that is a lot of money!

Kinda rude but she paid u anyway & was "helping her cousin" so that's good Variety in the "this one that one" stuff

mayb ethey haven't FOUND anything missing yet people are GOOD at ignoring hired help PRINTS

Ooh hooeey becks is pretty af today!! didn't holly grow up in a bunch of different places? foster care?

RC: "Monster." Now that sounds like the kind of ganged up thug that would shoot you dead and leave you in a dumpster someplace. Probably half man, half mountain, full of prison tats. Or is he quietly dangerous? Like Javier Bardem in any movie where he’s got weird hair. JE, while walking beside him: *kind of smiling/frowning at the same time* *it's a kid*

Oof mama commit suicide? the drug od was bad enough. how does this poor boy already have priors a kim long? Careful becks he is still nicknamed monster As an FNMI person this episode just... oof

KB: Hi Joey, I’m Detective Kate Beckett. Joey Malone: A major hottie is what you are. you're 14 lmao JM is just not talking at all double negative Ah he was chill denying it before this but then when murder came up he was shocked. I believe he did not do it. *camera focusses on esposito*

& then another flash to esposito Nice how he plays viddy games sito's right, you have a pimp/agent/manager JE: The brains behind this operation, that’s who. A kid like Joey goes from smash and grab to stealing a half a mil in jewelry? I don’t think so. Someone put him up to this. KR: No, it makes sense. Some savvy criminals use minors to do their dirty work. RC: Of course. A Fagin to Joey’s Oliver Twist. KR: And if Holly’s involved, that makes her the Artful Dodger. Or the Artful DJ. RC: Ooh, nicely played. also ryan is pretty you GET this kid. Yeah man. I love getting a little backstory. I just wish one of these characters was native, & I mean technically esposito is native, but I mean like, I want an iroquois person maybe. or a cree person. Heck a Metis person would be mind blowing.

JM; Hey, where’s the super hot detective? JE; Oh, you’re lookin’ at him. XD

Yeah genuinely. That's what they are like. Frickin cops. (& esposito's face kind of falls, possibly bc he was planning on saying that, possibly bc he feels for the kid & joey has been thru this before & cops made empty promises too) I p much never make promises.

So you admit there is a "he" Yeah lol this kid

Beckett & esposito are the ones talking to her hhh Yeah family is usually the best place to go for foster care temporarily while the parents get their crap in order. Heck this is why icwa exists. Tho I heard the other day that they were overturning that or smth Real prize.

KB: What about his uncle? Where is he now? Ms. Cooper (social worker): We’re trying to track him down. He may be in AC. He’s a card player. JE: Guy sounds like a real prize. CSW: You want the best option for these kids, and sometimes all you have is the least bad option. Which brings me to the issue of what to do with Joey. Are you charging him with theft? KB: We were hoping not it. CSW: (nods) So. I’ll put him in temporary foster care. JE: Whoa, whoa, whoa. He’s not safe out there in the world right now. The guy that we’re after killed a woman. He could do the same thing to Joey. CSW: Then you can put him in protective custody in juvenile hall. JE: I - I can’t just throw him in juvie. I’m trying to gain his trust here. KB: Ms. Cooper, this boy is the key to us solving a murder. CSW: Well, I’m sorry, but those are the choices. JE: hesitates. He catches sight of JOEY outside the room. JE: What if I take him? KB: *turns to look at esposito, surprised. Who is this man?* JE: That way he’s not locked up and I can keep him safe. (to KB) And I can continue to work on him. KB: * turns back to cooper* It’s an idea. KB: What about that? CSW: (sighs, shakes her head) I – I suppose I could delay his paperwork. But this would be for one night. And it means that Joey Malone is your responsibility. JE: That’s cool. I got this. The kid doesn’t have a father. He probably just needs someone to connect with. lmao sure bud like that's going to work out. I mean you may be right but u've also had years to figure out what it means, this kid might not even know.

Ok I have three clips here, but I flilmed the second two at once

INT – ESPOSITO’S APARTMENT JE walks in and stops to pick up the mail. JM follows him. Also neither of them remove their shoes. ew. JM: I’d rather have a pajama party with the lady cop. ((XD)) JE: Yeah well, it looks like I drew the short straw. ((still a little bit of bad cop in there, love it.)) JE, lookin at this teen: Literally. ((XD)) JE: hits the lights JM: looks around JM: Man, no wonder you’re single! JE: JM: No woman would spend time here unless it was against her will. ((u’r 14. But I mean 14yos date, heck I had classmates who had sex)) JM: starts hitting a sparring bag which is just in the middle of espt’s apartment, like yeah no girls wouldn’t like that JE: Yeah? What about you, Martha Stewart? What’s you place supposed to be? Shabby chic? Emphasis on shabby? JM: It’s a dive. But it’s not my fault. My uncle would rather blow all of his money at the tables. JE: Must be why he’s too busy to call us back. JM: Don’t wait by the phone. He only cares about claiming me as a dependent. makes himself comfortable on espt’s couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. JE: My parents split up when I was 5. ((lol ok trying to connect)) JE: pushes Joey’s legs Man, get your feet off my table! (they share a glare.) Dad moved to Florida with his new wife. Most I ever got after that was a phone call and a post card. JM: Post card? JE: (nods) Yeah. JM: How old are you, anyway? ((bruh.. I send postcards still,, like if I’m traveling)) JE: Ancient. he looks dead & deadpan JE: But I’m young enough to remember what it was like. (he is quiet for a second) JM: smiles & looks off to the side ((btw I’m glad that the 14yo has acne, that’s what being 14 is like)) JE: Must miss your folks. ((bro don’t try to dig too much)) JM: … JM: After my dad died, my mom kept going. You know, she tried to pretend that we were still a normal family. She did her best to take care of me until … she couldn’t do it anymore. JE: Now you take care of yourself. ((Good line. Also sounds like experience there)) JM: Yeah. (his attitude changes) Look, man. I know you didn’t have to do this. Take me in, I mean. So uh, thanks. JE, nodding: I’ll go grab you a blanket; pillow. JM: Hey, at least you didn’t skimp out on the audio visual budget. ((Heck yeah. We love video games in this house. Well & board games. & all play, adults need play too, dogs never really outgrow their need for play, why should humans?) JE: You know that’s right. Oh, and I’ve got Assassin’s Creed 3. ((& a bunch of other stuff I assume?)) So go ahead and knock yourself out. ((Nice art btw)) JE: Oh, and uh … put it on dual player mode so I can come back and school you. He’s in the closet pulling linens for Joey JM: $20 bucks says you won’t make it past level 1. ((OMG I NOTICED HIS VOICE CHANGED DURING THAT PHRASE– HE WAS LITERALLY IN THE PROCESS OF IT AS HE SAID THAT,, POSSIBLY TO IMPLY HE WAS STILL IN THE ROOM)) JE: (scoffs) You’re crazy. Leaves the light on JE: comes back into the living room with a smile but stops short. It’s empty. Joey’s gone, but the window is open. Esposito sighs heavily. He is so annoyed

Oh gosh darn! When I copypaste smth from my ctrl-h google doc (where I change the names from ESPOSITO with a bunch of blank lines between the phrases like the transcript to what u see on tumblr) to tumblr, the * maked it italicized! Crud!

INT – TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN JE walks in with JM handcuffed to his wrist. KR: … gives the setup an odd look. JE: Sit down. Joey does, and Esposito transfers the cuff from his wrist to the desk. KR, spinning his chair to face them: O~kay. Care to explain? JE: What? The handcuffs? KR: No, no. The stylish shoes that you’re wearing. Yess, the handcuffs. JE: Well, junior here tried to pull a Houdini on me last night. JM: Who the hell is Houdini? ((espt was not born in the late 1800s idiot)) JE: (harshly) Shut up. KR: Out the window? JE: Yeah. *sits* KR: Down the fire escape?? JE: Yeah. And then on to a moving garbage truck. Then on a skateboard for five blocks that took him all the way to the L-train. ((Whose? Also where was this kid going?)) JM: *picks up a signed baseball from espt’s desk* ((Kid has some neat gloves)) KR: (smiles) How’d you keep up? JM: He didn’t. JE, turning to face him so he can talk to him: Shut up. (sees the baseball) What the – (he grabs the baseball) Give me that. (he puts the ball back) Commandeered this dude’s bicycle. ((YOU KEPT UP TO A MOVING GARBAGE TRUCK AND SKATEBOARD ON A BIKE?)) KR: *Nods & smiles so big & bright, checks his nails while listening to the story* JE: Then he lost me in the subway. (Joey laughs) But then I caught him. At the next stop. Kid’s wily. But I’m wilier. KR: * just is enjoying the story with a smile* Wow. Just like The French Connection. JE: ..?

Kid just sitting there biting his nails You will go canvass? With esposito? alone? with a uniformed officer?

KB: Unless he gave you a name. JE: Uh … no. Not exactly. wdym not exactly?? Whata does that Look Between Them mean?

JE: Looks like he got his first taste with a B and E when he was 11 years old. Oof KB: He graduated to burglary when he was 12 when he broke into a mom and pop corner store along with an unidentified adult male. Ooof (also how mom+pops are off limits)

Shane Winters HER FILE TOO? also beckett's pretty shiny shirt <3

JE: This dude’s dabbled in everything. Or maybe castle, she did not clean herself up & get herself out, he stopped using her when she turned 18

Ryan's back! (btw every member here is pretty rn. Castle only as pretty as normal tho. ryan also only as pretty as normal but dshkjdh. becks all shiny & espt nice shirt too.) & castle knows the car RC: Yeah, and a roomy trunk for all your body moving needs. Esposito *just walks away* (no explanation anything he just thought for a split sec & then Left)

Poor LT lol he's on babysitting duty ALSO EW SHOES ON THE COUCH *awkwardly tapping his thumbs. It must be a patience test for interrogations when you become detective, he tells himself* JE: Where’s Shane Winters? JM: Where’s my soda? LT is just happy to be out of here he doesn't care that he's on soda duty

Love how espt picks him up like that. Sometimes you need a rough hand. JM: I'm not a rat ... Valid? But bro? Ok what is in it for you? You get a cut of the earnings? you get his protection in terms of him bailing you out...?

JE: Meh, I just want to wring this little bastard’s neck right now. So valid bestie JE: Freakin’ kids, man. (to castle) I don’t know how you do it, bro. RC: Oohhh. No, no. I lucked out with Alexis. At a certain point you realize you’re just dealing with someone who hasn’t been around as long as we have. ((THAT IS SO TRUE)) They have to find their way. JE: The problem is, he’s already found his way. He just doesn’t see where it’s going to put him. ((or maybe he thinks he's Built Different))

Garcia, new name!

"roll" *plays with keys* On your own babe? nice toss. also do they each have their own car or,,?

Boobies. Beer. Western vibes. Cant in the camera. Interesting movement too. Wow big buff guy. *looks him down* ... A bag of ice? It depends on whether it is good for the plot or not if they can beat ppl up or if they get beat up. Everything ends with a kick to the balls. My man must be wearing steel toed boots or knee guards or smth. Or just good aim. man's not having kids any time soon that shaking breath ohhh & "excuse me" lmao

How does he know his name hangin out lol Yeah too loyal. But I respect Monster. Put them on yourself? Esposito is using power & dominance to control the situation. Love it Holy crap the way he PUSHES on the handcuffs is so good! I remember playing with plastic handcuffs like that as a kid

"soft spot for kids" did not come out right hun Weird lighting. This room needs to be brighter; one way glass needs one room to be brighter than the other golden and diamond encrusted NO-- NO NO NOOOOOO (but will fdny find an accelerant?) but whasnt' that car expensive or smth? A minute alone...? Esposito, Javi my man hold on what are you thinking? & ryan agrees to leave? CLOSING THE CURTAINS...

tablet? Joey genuinely looks sad JE: Now I’d beat your skinny little ass for being stupid if it’d change anything Oh computer r u lying? da wanting to try him as an adult? u haven't even charged him... SW: Look, man. The kid did the crime, he’s gotta do the time. SW a couple minutes ago: I have a soft spot for kids (which is why I bailed out the teenager) Did joey malone really think that shane would protect him? carried heat as in gun? Yeah no Monster of COURSE he'd kill her

Yeah he can buy an alibi at least u know it came from his TYPE of car WHERE is her gun? I still say bling...

Ryan's hair lol it REALLY looks like mine Poor chinese line cook lol just doin his job & these detectives are holding open his door & getting in his way near the dumpster Is that blood or is it just gross?

Ah! Temporarily missing! that's why it was on the phone! *cuts himself off* oh god... heeheeHEE this is GOOD

well he's obv /accessory/ to murder espt so angry I can't tell if I'm remembering the ending or if I'm figuring it out but could it be the other musician? the one josie called old?

I love this man with the hat he seems cool Regina: Have you ever tried changing into skin-tight leather pants? It’s time consuming. ((true)) *Judging by their expressions, both CASTLE and BECKETT are intimately acquainted with skin-tight leather pants.* I like how beckett is wearing less makeup this episode than she does in s6 in my family watch Did she have a license to carry?

I love the OTS view going into the bar *lets him in while covering himself* SW: You keep showing up here like this, the boys are going to think you’re sweet on me. XD JE: Not anymore they won’t. he says while smiling.. *gulp* *puts down the gun* I can't remember what I thought the first time watching this. Is he disarming himself so they can have an honourable fistfight? Does he want to prove he's armed? are they going to count down & reach for it? & then I see the second gun. I thought maybe duel then. Also nice gun, rly small. When he says the gun is "yours" I am more sure it is a duel. (btw I think that one on the close side is the personal gun, not the police gun, & the one on the far side is the one he pulled from his boot a couple episodes ago. Like. ten.) His face when he says this. He says it in past tense as if he is in an interview, as if he's quoting himself from the future. That fear on his face. "I HAD to defend myself!" as he shakes his head with wide eyes... So he threatens to kill the guy & cover it up bc he is a detective & he can legit say "I arrested his crime boy so he wanted to kill me" & have it be true except esposito that is your gun... Unless he specifically acquired an unlicensed gun so that he could pretend it was shane's unlicensed gun (but also esposito my man how will you KNOW he recruits another kid? I might like a sequel except I don't want esposito to kill someone even if I agree with his values) Again with esposito using dominance in this play. Slid the gun over to him. I mean, Winters can afford a bodyguard, he may be a crime pimp, but he directs kids & adolescents, not people he considers his equal. No wonder he is so easy to threaten like this.

HPD criminal history information MISDEMEANOR arrest/charge information arrest date: XXXXXX ((so august or is that a random number of Xs?)) XX, 20XX 07:27 PM ((so he must have been under 18 in the year 2000, 17 in y2k at the oldest)) - Name: ESPOSITO/JAVIER ((I can't see if there is a middle name)) - Date of Birth: XXXXX X, 19XX ((april or march 1-9)) - Sex: Male - Race: XXXXXX ((Latino)) - Age at the time of the crime/arrest: XX ((10-17 but often they try 17yos as adults)) - Address: 941 E. 11TH ST/NEW YORK, NY 1009 - Fax Number: 5521250 - Place of Arrest: HPDPD, 021 - ((cropped)) Crime: November 6, 1989 ((unless this is the date of the crime so he would be under 18 in '89 at the oldest, so born in what 1972 at the oldest? & 1990 at the youngest if his age was in the double digits by y2k))

the good old days XD XD

Cycle 1 Arrest date XXXX XX 20XX 07:27 PM ((this one has 4 Xs so june & july except I think this implies that the Xs are not relative to the letters in the blackout, at least that is implied since these are both at 7.27pm, they are both the arrest date)) Court Information Court: Criminal Court New York Case Number: 322((cut off)) Initial Report Of Docket Number: XXXX XX, 20XX

November 19, 1989 ((nearly two weeks after the other date)) ASSAULT PL 160.10 Sub 01 // Class C Juvenile // HCIC 1299 RESISTING ARREST PL 160.05 // Class D Juvenile // HCIC 1299 ((transf?))erred To Superior Court November 19, 1989 UNLAWFUL POSSESSION ((of what?)) PL 160.10 Sub 01 // Class C Juvenile // HCIC 1299 ASSAULT PL 160.05 // Class D Juvenile // HCIC 1299

I love how as Joey reads them out loud esposito cringes. We see him cringe just a bit (wrinkle his nose & squint) at resisting arrest but [cringe like: that inhaling hiss between your teeth out of the side of your mouth] at unlawful possession & he shakes his head

Joey straight up: You were a mess ((coming from u tho? ur priors are a mile long according to the show so u can't say much))

JE: Yeah. But it’s all I knew. My dad was gone, my mom was working two jobs. In my neighborhood, you had to do what you had to do to survive. Not everybody made it. ((Yeah man... this story hits & my life wasn't even that bad)) JM: Is this where you tell me to man up and get my act together like you did? ((no pls no)) JE: No. It doesn’t work like that. ((Yes!! Thank you! Yes!)) JE: You need help. ((cringe but true)) For me it was one of my teachers. ((stereotype. But also,,, so true. My baking teacher, the staff in my special needs class, the FNMI guidance counselor, my culinary teachers)) Saw a future in me that I didn’t even see in myself. But it was up to me to make a choice. To pick which road to go down. I talked to your school counselor – ((first of all ew school counselors I know I lucked out but I don't trust em, second consent much? talk to joey first, except he'd say no so idk bro)) JM: What? ((See?)) JE: She’s going to call me if you keep ditching. ((esposito dad moments, I wish we got to see him with Timmy or Tommy or whatever ike's kid's name was)) JM: C’mon, man. JE: And I’m going to call you once a week. Check in. ((Do you do that for Baby Thornton too? y'all should become friends lol, he's only a year or two younger than you. Baby thornton was what? 10? it has been 2 or 3 years since s2? joey is 14? Yeah 13 & 14 is the same age)) JM: *smiles, then nods* JM: All right. I’ll go. ((go where? to school?)) If you agree to get new furniture. ((making a deal, he really is an adolescent, not a child, & esposito treating him like an adolescent, someone worth talking to, is awesome & important, even if he also knows that adolescence is not complete adulthood & he called the counselor w/o talking to joey first)) JE: *scoffs* JM: You can’t get laid on the regular with that junk you have. ((this man made fun of ryan for alley shopping)) I’m just looking out for you. ((who is looking out for whom now?)) JM: *pats him hard on the shoulder* JE: *does the thing he always does when someone touches him: he looks at where they touched & then back up at them* JE, handing Joey his business card: Here. If you need anything, day or night, call me at that number. ((do you not have your phone on silent overnight...? Maybe "at THAT number" is his other cell phone, one that he doesn't turn off at night idk bro)) JM: Okay. (he unbuckles) You’re all right. For a cop. ((lmao what a mood) JE: I know. Now get out of my car. ((see? sometimes you need that roughness. Btw I think this was the first time I noticed the car in my family watch, but I had seen it before on my binge watch. I didn't know if it was esposito's personal car or what)) JM nods to JE, JE nods back, but also in a gesture like "get going now I already told u" & JM leaves. JE smiles & watches to make sure JM gets inside ok.

I like how they closed loose ends with the winters guy & joey.

Ok but I need an episode in the future that shows that these two have indeed kept in contact! Esposito has been half raising two kids now, Ike's kid & Joey, why can't we SEE THEM?

Also uh in my math earlier I said I'd watch 6 episodes per day, well the thing is I didn't watch 6 yesterday I only got five. The first one was the season premier & I watched it earlier.

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 6

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count: 6,417 words

Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, SMUT (with some fluff/ Soft!Javi), mild violence (Javi punches someone).

Masterlist

Summary: You and Javi talk about where your relationship is headed. There is a significant time jump, but don’t worry I fill in you on what you missed during that time.

A/N: This chapter was a little difficult to write, as I struggled with a few details. However, I’ve enjoyed seeing the Reader’s and Javi’s relationship evolve in this chapter, and I hope you feel the same. Thank you again for all the love and support! Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my tag list! Chapter 7 coming soon! Also, translations are at the bottom.

Your POV

You played with his hair as he rested his head in your lap. It had been a long couple of days, and really the only time you saw each other was the night before Kate left. He brought home dinner from his favorite restaurant and two bottles of wine for you. You still hadn't had the chance to talk about whatever this was. He opened his eyes up and looked at you with a wide grin on his face. You leaned down and lightly kissed him. When you pulled away he frowned. "What’s wrong?" You asked.

"I haven't taken you out on a proper date. If my father knew that, he'd ring my neck," he laughed, running his down your cheek.

You sweetly smiled. "Are you asking me out on a date, Javier Peña?"

His grin turned devilish. "I am, but only if you say yes."

You sighed and looked down at him, still running your fingers through his hair. He hummed and closed his eyes. You knew he was exhausted. After everything that happened, Escobar brokered a deal with Gaviria and began building La Catedral. Connie and Steve were in the process of adopting a little girl whose mother was murdered by Escobar’s men, and you were starting work next week. Javi was stressed about all of these sudden changes and dealing with Escobar’s prison. He told you this was a bullshit deal and Escobar had basically won. He was hardly even getting a slap on the wrist. Javi felt like all of their hard work to bring the narco down was all for naught. 

So, you did what you knew best and just held him. He looked so peaceful in your lap as he smiled with his eyes closed, relaxing under your touch. You didn't want to bring up your relationship, stressing him out more, but you didn't know when you would have another chance. “You still haven’t answered me,” he said, eyes still closed. 

You laughed at him. “Yes, Javi, I will go out with you.” You saw him smile, and your heart stopped. No man had made you feel this happy in years. As you reflected on your relationship with Michael, you realized, you both were miserable in the last few years. You stayed together out of convenience. Now, you were truly happy. However, you had to know where this was going. “Javi?” You started.

“Hmm?” He replied, lost in your touch and almost asleep.

“We never actually talked,” you said.

His eyes slowly opened and he stared up at you. “I know. I just don’t know how to say it.”

“Say what?”

He sighed and grabbed your hand, running his fingers through yours; his head never leaving your lap. “You know…”

You kept running your fingers through his hair. “No, I don’t. I’m coming off a long-term and very serious relationship. I need clarity. I like you, Javi, but if this isn’t the same for you, I need to know. I’m not about to get hurt again.”

He kissed your palm and then the inside of your wrist. “You know,” he began, “several years ago, I had a fiancée.”

Your eyes were gaping at him. “What?”

He nodded and continued to play with your hand. “We were high school sweethearts. I just got a job at the DEA and was assigned to come down here. I knew how dangerous it would be to bring my new family, and I couldn’t put her through that. Now? I couldn’t even imagine.”

You stopped playing with his hair and stared at him. “What happened?”

He took a deep breath and looked up into your eyes. “I left her at the altar.”

Your heart stopped and you were instantly upset with him. “Javi! Do you know how humiliating that had to have been for her? Standing there, realizing you aren’t coming, and then having to tell everyone the wedding is cancelled.” You had flashbacks to having to tell your friends and family the wedding was cancelled. So many of them pitied you, and that was the last thing you wanted. You couldn’t imagine how this poor woman felt.

“I know,” he said, “just let me finish.” He took a deep breath. “I knew what I did was wrong. I was a moron and betrayed her trust. I have no idea if she moved on, or what. But the thing was, as guilty as I felt about leaving her, I also felt relieved. We had grown up and became different people together. We were no longer in love. It was just convenient.”

You looked down at him, wanting to kiss him. It was like he read your mind, and you smiled. “That’s how the last few years felt with Michael, before he cheated on me,” you said softly.

He reached up and touched your face. “He made the biggest mistake of his life when he did.”

You kissed him lightly and then pulled away. “Why did you tell me that?”

“When I left Lorraine, I thought, how could we have been together for so long and I just not love her anymore? Was I incapable of love? I felt empty and lost, and I tried to fill that gap with frivolous sex. So, for years, that’s what I did.” You saw him swallow a lump in his throat and return his attention back to your hands. “And then you walked into my life and all of that changed. I don’t want to go to my apartment with some random woman, whose face I wouldn't remember once she left. I want to come back here, to your face that lights up when I see you, looking at me like I’m a hero. You make all the shit I have to go through worth it.”

You were almost certain that your heart burst. “Oh, Javi,” You cried. Tears streamed down your face. He finally sat up and pulled you into his arms, wiping away your tears. You looked up at him and kissed him. “I’m sorry I ever doubted…”

“No. You never have to apologize to me,” he said delicately kissing your cheeks.

You relaxed back into the sofa and he laid back down in your lap, so you could continue massaging his scalp. “I don’t deserve you,” you said.

He looked up at you and smiled. “Hermosa, you deserve better than me. I’m the one that should figure out what I did right to deserve you.”

You smiled at him and shook your head. Your fingers ran through his hair, and he started to doze off in your lap again. If you could have frozen time, you would have done so in that moment. “I was thinking we could go to that club you like so much,” he said, eyes closed.

“No,” you replied, “I would much rather go to your favorite place in Bogotá.”

He smiled and nuzzled your stomach. “Then it wouldn’t be a date, because that’s right here.”

You tugged on his hair a little, and his eyes opened. A dangerous fire burned behind them, daring you to tug on his hair again. “Other than right here, Peña,” you growled, tugging his hair again.

Faster than you expected, he flipped around and had you pinned under him. “I’ll give you a reason to tug my hair, if you keep doing it.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, daring him to follow through with his threat. You grabbed the back of his head and kissed him, balling his hair into your fist and tugging. 

He moaned into your kiss and pulled away. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said, scooping you up in his arms. 

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him. “You better not hurt me,” you warned.

He winked at you, “Only the good kind. You know, where you won’t walk straight for a week.”

You gasped and slapped his shoulder. “That’s the spirit,” he laughed.

The phone rang.

“Ignore it,” he said, “the machine can get it.”

You wiggled until he let you go. “It might be important,” you replied.

He sighed. “If you take too long, I will start without you.”

Laughing, you shook your head and walked to the receiver, Javi disappeared into your room. “Hello.” Your voice sang, looking into your room where you saw Javi seductively sitting at the end of your bed. 

“Thank God it’s you!” The voice exclaimed.

You froze and the smile faded from your face.

His POV

He saw the smile disappear from her face completely, and he felt his heart race. He moved off the bed and walked to her. He could hear a masculine voice at the other end of the line.

“Kate kept hanging up. She wouldn’t let me talk to you at all. Saying something about how you’re finally happy with a real man in your life.”

“I told you to stop calling. Who gave you my number?” She said, her voice quaking. 

Javi immediately knew who was on the phone, and he felt his blood boil. “Hannah got it for me.”

She scoffed. “Is that all she did for you?”

“Come on, Y/N. I told you it was a mistake. I fucked up. Come home so we can talk.”

“No.” She said dryly. Javi’s heart had been racing the entire time he stood there, terrified she would change her mind and want her ex back. But her simple “no” gave him hope.

“There is nothing for you in Colombia. Your family and friends are here. Come home.”

“I have a life here. I love my new life, because it hasn’t decided to fuck me over. I’m happy, finally, and if you actually cared for me the way you claim you do, then you’d leave me alone.”

He heard Michael sigh. “I can’t do that. I don’t want to go through life without you. You’re my best friend. I was just scared. Marriage is a huge commitment and I was afraid I wasn’t ready.”

Javi saw tears form in her eyes. He worried they were tears of joy as opposed to anger or sadness, but in that moment he decided that whatever her decision was, he would respect it. He promised that he would never hurt her. “Michael, I don’t care what you say. I’m staying here in Colombia with my new apartment, job, and boyfriend.”

His heart stopped at the title and he smiled at her. “Boyfriend? Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N? Did the last ten years mean nothing to you, so you had to go jump into the first guy’s bed that gave you a glance?”

“Are you fucking kidding me with that bullshit, right now?” She yelled into the phone.

Javi had enough of this. He took the phone from her. “Listen here you motherfucker, leave her alone. She doesn’t want you anymore, and if you so much as dial the first three digits of her number again, I will personally fly up there and beat the shit out of you myself.” He slammed the phone down on the receiver so hard that it fell off the wall, taking some drywall with it. He bent down to pick it up and place it on the counter. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

She stood there with her hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes. She leapt into his arms, and he felt his heart start again. “Don’t ever apologize to me,” she smiled, quoting him, “you’re perfect.”

He smiled and kissed her deeply. “Now,” he replied, scooping her into his arms, “where were we?”

“You wanted to make sure I couldn’t walk for a week,” she laughed.

“Right,” he said, tossing her on the bed. She bounced and laughed. “So,” he added as he climbed over her. “I’m your boyfriend?”

“I-I just wanted him…”

Javi kissed her. “I like it. Say it again.”

She laughed and smiled against the kiss she planted on him. “Tú eres mi novio.”

“Solo tuyo,” he replied. 

He ran his hands down her sides of her shirt until he reached the hem of it, slowly lifting it off her and throwing it somewhere behind him. He trailed his kisses down her neck and jaw, spending a little time at the valley between her breasts as he reached under to her to unhook her bra. She let out a sigh and ran her fingers through his hair. She pulled his face to hers as she undid the buttons on his shirt before pushing it off him. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, kissing him deeply. He again trailed down her body. His warm mouth was a welcomed surprise to her breasts as he teased them mercilessly. She moaned his name loudly, only making him work more thoroughly. He kept doing it until they were sore from overstimulation, and then he continued his way down. 

Javi grabbed the hem of her shorts and underwear and slowly slid them down and off her body before returning to his job. He knelt down in front of her, kissing and sucking on her inner thighs. He threw her legs over his shoulders, opening her up more for him. Her scent was intoxicating; from that alone, he was afraid he was going to come. He bent his head forward and let his tongue do the work. She immediately grabbed a fist full of his hair and cried out. He hummed against her, sending another wave of pleasure coursing through her body. “You’re so beautiful,” he said without picking his head up. His eyes met hers as he ran his tongue up and down her center. 

“Javi,” she breathed, “please.”

“More?” he asked, with a large smirk on his face.

All she could do was nod. He licked one of his fingers and inserted it in slowly, stretching her out before sending in another. He curled them against her, moving them in slow circles as he continued pleasuring her with his mouth. He felt her legs shivering on his shoulders and her body clenching around his fingers, telling him that she was close. “Come for me, hermosa,” he said. 

He curled his finger again and slowly ran it down the inside of her. She cried out in pleasure, grinding her hips against him for more, and he didn’t stop. Her body shook as he continued with his ministrations, sending her into another orgasmic wave of pleasure. She cried out even louder this time his name as he finally came up for air, cleaning her off his fingers. He stood and removed his pants, showing that he was more than ready for her. She started to sit up, eager to return the favor, but he stopped her. “Not right now. You can return the favor later,” he winked.

She smiled and laid back down, waiting for his body to envelop hers. With ease he slid into her, “Fuck,” he said into her neck.

She let out a gasp, remembering how good he felt inside of her, filling her completely. “Don’t move, yet,” she said. 

He laughed. “Why?”

“I just want to feel you.”

He’d never felt this way before, his heart bursting at the seams as he leaned down to kiss her. “You feel so good,” he said.

She slowly grinded her hips into his. “You feel even better,” she replied, kissing where his neck met his jaw. He growled and grabbed her hair, pulling her head back just a little to expose more of her neck as he returned the sentiment. He started with a slow agonizing pace that caused her to involuntarily grind into him more begging for him to go faster. “More, Javi,” she whined.

He smiled and picked up the pace just a little. She dug one hand into his back while the other held on to his hair. She wrapped her legs around him so she could pull him in closer, deeper. “Oh, J-javi,” she cried as he thrust a little faster, unable to control the pace as much as he wanted to. She bit her bottom lip to stifle a cry, but failed as he moved his thumb down to her clit for extra friction. He continued his thrusts and applied more pressure to her as she finally came. She cried his name and tugged on his hair, dragging her nails down his back and finally resting on his ass to help drive him deeper. Her hands were enough for him and soon he was coming for her.

Javi rested on his forearms just above her and smiled. She ran her hands up his chest to his face and lightly kissed him. “I don’t care what Michael says, I’m never leaving here,” she sighed.

He rubbed his nose on hers. “You can’t now,” he said, “I’m not letting go of the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Y/N blushed at the compliment and kissed him again. He rolled to the side and pulled her against his chest, his eyes feeling heavy. “Did I wear you out?” she laughed.

“Don’t worry,” he said, kissing her head, “I’m not finished with you tonight. I intend to keep my promise.”

Your POV

You woke up early the next morning before Javi and quietly rolled out of bed. You stood up to stretch, and you felt an ache in your muscles. Dammit. He made good on his promise, because you were sore. It was a good kind of sore though. It was a deep muscular burn that gave you chills all over your body every time you moved. Images from that night flashed before your eyes as you grinned. You picked up his button down and slipped it on as you headed out of the room. When you reached the bedroom door, you turned and saw him still peacefully sleeping on what was normally your side of the bed. His hair stuck out in all directions, making him look a little boyish and innocent. Your heart swelled when you saw his arm reach across the bed for you. 

You started a pot of coffee for both of you, but mainly for him as you started making a quick breakfast. You mixed together some scrambled eggs and fried up some bacon. Just as you were starting the toast, you saw your bedroom door crack open and a very sleepy Javi appeared in the doorway. “What are you doing?” he asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

You smiled and fixed him a plate and cup of coffee, setting it in front of a stool at her counter. “I made breakfast,” you said.

He walked into the kitchen in his boxers and saw you cooking in only his shirt, and he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you against him. “So, you’re telling me I’ve got a woman who can cook?”

You leaned back into his arms and craned your neck for a kiss, which he gladly gave. He took in a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t know about you, but I am starving.”

You made your own plate and set the skillet in the sink. “Why do you think I made breakfast? I worked up quite the appetite.”

He watched you walk around the counter and sit down. “I told you I would make good on that promise,” he grinned, taking a bite of eggs. 

You leaned into him and sighed. “I hope that’s a promise you intend to continue to keep.”

He finished eating and went to grab the rest of his clothes. As he walked back into the room, fastening his belt, he said, “Necesito mi camisa, hermosa.”

You gave him a coy and slowly walked around the counter, putting it between the two of you. “Ahora es mío.”

The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to surprise a smile. “¿Cierto?”

You moved around the counter away from him, ready to bolt if he tried to lunge at you. “Tienes que atraparme.”

He fell right into your trap and lunged at you. Squealing, you ran around the counter and into the living room, placing the couch between you. “Hermosa,” he said in a low baritone that almost made your legs fall out from under you. He jumped forward at you to go over the couch, but he failed. Instead he stayed there on the couch, feigning an injury. You slowly walked over to him to gloat in your victory when he sat up fast and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you down into his lap. He kissed you and undid each button on the shirt. 

There was a knock at the door that stopped both of you. Javi let out a low, frustrated sigh and looked at the door. “If that’s Murphy, I might kill him,” he said.

You laughed and stood up, still wearing his shirt. “Peña!” You heard Steve’s voice through the door. 

Grumbling, Javi stood up to answer the door. He opened it and glared at Steve. “A little busy here, Steve.”

Steve laughed when he saw you standing in the living room, trying to make sure his shirt covered the important bits. “Grab your shirt, and let’s go.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do,” he said, giving you his usual devilish grin over his shoulder. 

“I told you, man, it’s all over once she claims your stuff. You’re never getting it back.”

Javi looked back at Steve and sighed. “I’ll be down in five. I need to run to my apartment to change.” He closed the door and turned to you.

You grinned and slowly walked up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I’ll keep it safe for you,” you said, leaning up for a kiss.

“That’s my favorite shirt,” he laughed, “but it looks better on you.” Kissing you lightly as he walked down to his apartment to change.

***

Months had gone by and you were happier than you’d ever been. Because Escobar was in his “prison” things had calmed down with Javi’s job. You were working at the hospital as a resident, but terrorist attacks by the cartel had subsided for the time being, and thus work was slow. You and Javi were able to spend time together, like a real couple. You went on dates; you spent Sunday afternoons tangled in each other’s arms. After four months you had been together, you had asked Javi, “why don’t we ever go to your apartment?”

He sighed and rested his head on your stomach, running his fingers in circles on your bare flesh. “Because I’m not that guy anymore. That apartment is for the womanizing fuck who fucked up his life.”

You smiled and ran your hands through his hair. “Is that why you only sleep there when I work night shifts?”

He held on to your tighter. “Except I can’t sleep worth a damn in that bed,” he replied.

“Oh yeah? Miss me that much?”

He rolled over on his stomach and looked at you. “Yes.”

Your heart stopped, and pulled his face to yours to kiss him. “Then, I have something I would like to give you.” You tried to roll out of bed, but he held you. “Javi, I will be right back.” Reluctantly, he let you go. You walked into the kitchen and dug in your purse for the item you were looking for. You were nervous about this, as it was a huge step in your relationship, but you wanted to move forward. You crawled back into bed and curled up next to him before handing him a key. “This is my spare key.”

He froze and looked at the small metal piece in your hand. “For your apartment?” he asked, voice shaking.

You nodded. “It’s fine if you don’t want it,” you replied as you started to pull it away, but he stopped you, taking the key into his hands.

“No,” he smiled, looking at the key, “I want it.”

You kissed him and then rested your hand on his chest. “That way you can come and go as you please.” He looked at you, his eyes full of apprehension. “What?”

“I-uh…” he started. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while, but I just never could find the right moment.” Your heart was beating fast, but you sat patiently and waited for him to finish speaking. “I-uhh...I...well there really is no other way to build up to this,” he took a deep breath, “I love you.”

You gazed into his eyes and smiled. “Say it again,” you whispered.

“I love you, mi hermosa.”

You grabbed his face with both of your hands and kissed him. As you slowly pulled away, you said, “I love you, Javi.”

He kissed you back and smiled against your lips. 

That was eight months ago, and you had plenty of “i love you’s” between the two of you since. Now, he was practically living in your apartment, with most of his clothes in various drawers in your dresser and his own half of the closet. He was completely domesticated, and loved every element about it. You were sitting down at the dining room table he bought for you eating dinner when he walked in from work. He slid down in the chair adjacent to yours and sighed. “Long day?” you asked, getting up to fix him a plate.

“Turns out La Catedral is the farce I said it would be,” he said. You set the plate down in front of him and then stood behind him to rub his shoulders. “Moncada and Galeano went into the prison yesterday afternoon, and never came back out.”

At this point in your relationship, you were familiar with every member of the Medellín Cartel. Sometimes Javi would bring work home with him, and sit at the table frustrated and half drunk. You’d committed names and faces to memory, just in case you heard or saw anything while you were at the hospital. So, you were familiar with Moncada and Galeano. They were running the cartel for Pablo while he was “inside”. “Are you sure they went in?”

He nodded. “We have pictures of them going in.”

“So what does this mean?”

Javi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Steve and I leave for Medellín tomorrow.”

You always hated when he left. Your apartment seemed so empty without him there. “For how long?” You ran your hand down his chest, and he held it there for a minute, relishing in your touch.

“I don’t know.” He kissed your hand. “Hopefully not long, mi vida. I should be back before Wednesday.”

He remembered. “I’ll come drag your ass back if you aren’t,” you laughed.

“And miss our anniversary? Not a chance in hell.” He leaned forward and started eating the dinner you had prepared. 

Never in a thousand years would you have ever pictured yourself here: a man who loves you sitting at your dinner table in a beautiful foreign country you now called home. Only three more times since the last time did Michael call you, trying to ruin your happiness by making you feel guilty. And each time, Javi was prepared to jump on a plane to shut him up once and for all, but you had managed to calm him down and talk him out of it. Despite the reminders of the heartache you had suffered more than a year ago, you knew that without it you would never be as happy as you were in that moment. 

His POV

Three days. Three fucking days he’d been stuck in Medellín with nothing but photos to show for it. Tomorrow was his anniversary with Y/N and he was not about to miss it. He had important surprises planned for her to celebrate her bringing him back to life. He leaned back in the car and sighed, looking out at the dark streets. “I’m tired of this shit. We aren’t going anywhere. We have proof that he isn’t even living in a prison!” he exclaimed.

Steve looked at the pictures again. “Fuck it,” Steve replied, “We’re going back to Bogotá, and if the government isn’t going to do shit, then we’re turning these into the press.”

Peña smiled. “It’s about time you had a smart idea.”

“Fuck you, Peña.” 

Peña put the vehicle in drive and drove them back to their complex that the Embassy bought them in the city to catch some sleep before heading back home. “We’ll drop these photos off in the morning,” he said. 

They walked in and he looked at the phone. He usually called her every night, but it was later than usual. “Do you think she’s still awake?”

Steve was already asleep on the couch. Peña rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone. It rang several times with no answer, and he began to grow very anxious. Finally on the fifth ring, he heard it stop. He assumed it was the answering machine until he heard her groggy voice on the other end. “Javi? Is everything alright?”

He smiled. “Everything is fine, mi vida. I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed, and to tell you I’m coming home tomorrow.”

He heard her gasp and could tell she was smiling. “I’ll be wearing your favorite button down when you walk in,” she said, “and nothing else.”

Heat flushed his face as images of the two of them together danced across his memory. “Well, now you’re just ruining everything else I had planned.”

She laughed. “Well, it’s exactly what I had planned.”

Javi grinned. “Te quiero, mi vida.”

“Te quiero, mi amor.” When she hung up the phone, he held it to his ear for a second longer, as if he was still absorbing her voice through the receiver. 

***

After they dropped the pictures off, bright and early in the morning, the story ran. People were outraged and demanded the government do something about this. Javi ran to the Embassy before going home, but Steve headed on home. He was there for several hours, cleaning up the mess the news article caused before he was able to head home. “Javi!” one of the secretaries came running after him.

“What is it?” he asked, turning around.

“Connie’s on the phone for you. She says it’s urgent.” 

He felt his stomach drop and ran back to her desk to take the call, praying you were fine. “Connie?” he said into the phone.

“Javi!” she sounded panicked. “I was walking outside, and…” She stopped to breathe.

“Is she okay?”

“Y/N’s fine. It’s Steve. Someone took Steve!”

“What? No, I just…” he stopped, “Okay, calm down. Tell me what you found.”

“The car was outside the garage, still idling, the keys still in the ignition.”

Peña’s stomach dropped and he thought he was going to be sick. “Did you call embassy security?”

“No. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Good. Don’t.”

“Wait,” she said in a much louder tone. “Why not?”

He sighed and tried to calm her. “Nothing. I just… I don’t want to ring any alarms before I check things out.”

“What are you guys up to?”

“Connie, just try to relax, okay?” he said in the same soothing voice he used on Y/N before. “I’m sure everything’s fine. I’m going to take care of this. I’ll find out where he is, all right? Y/N has the day off today. Go there so you’re not alone.”

“Please find him, Javi,” she begged.

“I will.”

***

He spent hours trying to find Steve, and just when he was about to tell the Ambassador everything, Steve appeared in the embassy. “Steve!” he exclaimed, running to his partner, “where the fuck have you been? Connie’s been worried-”

“Where the fuck have I been? How about with the goddamn Cali Cartel? That’s where I’ve been.” He seemed angrier than normal.

“What did Herrera say?”

“What’d he say? What’d he say?” He grabbed Peña by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the wall. “You fucking gave him that information. He’s got pictures on me, he’s got tape on me, Javi.” He slammed him against the wall again. “Answer me.”

“What?!” he asked in disbelief.

“Did you give that shit to Herrera?”

Hurt by the sudden accusation, he replied, “Do you think I would do that to you?”

“Are you playing with Cali, Javi? That your version of ‘all in’?”

He felt his blood beginning to boil. “I got one goal: Get Escobar.”

Steve was growing angrier by the second. “That’s not an answer. Who gave him the fucking photos?”

Peña stared at his partner, angered by the sudden lack of faith and trust between them. He refused to answer the question, knowing no matter what he said, Steve wouldn’t believe him. 

“Fine. See ya around, Jav. I’m gonna go call my wife.” He let go of him and left the hallway. 

Javi shook his head and made his way home to the one person who would believe him no matter what. He shuffled his way up the stairs and fumbled to get his keys out of his pocket. He opened the door to her apartment and stopped in his tracks. Sitting on his couch was a man not much younger than him looking distraught. He could tell he was American with his sandy blonde hair. He’d seen this man before in pictures. He was the bane of his existence. He looked around for her and found her sitting at the dining room table crying. As soon as she saw Javi, she ran to his arms. “You’re home! Oh thank god, I was so worried,” she exclaimed, “After Connie...and Steve.” She peppered his face with kisses, but he stopped and set her to the side.

“Who’s this?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

She turned to the man on the couch, and her demeanor changed from ecstatic to annoyed. “You need to leave,” she said to him, “I don’t care how shitty you feel. I don’t care about you anymore. Leave, Michael.”

As soon as Javi heard his name, something in him snapped. He’d had a rough day as it was, and this made it worse. He stormed over to Michael and picked him up by his shirt. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m your worst fucking nightmare. Get out of our apartment.” Javi’s voice suddenly became deeper and more aggressive than he’d ever been before.

“Are you living with him now?” He shot a glance over to her. “Baby, just come home. You don’t need to ‘find yourself’ any more.”

“Don’t look at her. Don’t speak to her. She’s not your ‘baby’.”

Michael looked Javi up and down and sneered. “She doesn’t love you,” he said, “you’re just a rebound. She’s going to come back to me. She always does.”

“Fuck you, Michael. Get out.” Tears streaming down her face again.

Javi had enough of this man breaking her heart. He hit him with his right hook, causing him to drop on the ground. “Get the fuck out,” Javi said.

“Fucker! I think you broke my nose,” he said, trying to catch the blood running out of it.

Y/N stood off to the side, watching Javi do what she couldn’t. “If you bother her again…” he felt his voice shaking, “I know ways to make you disappear.”

Michael crawled to the door. “She won’t stay with you forever, man. She’ll come back to me like she always does. There’s too much history here for her to just forget.” He looked at Y/N. “You know where I’m staying.”

Javi started to storm over to the door, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him, wrapping him in her arms. It made him forget why he was mad in the first place. He looked behind her and watched as the piece of shit scrambled down the stairs. He stood in silence taking her in before kissing her. “I’m sorry that our anniversary is almost over,” he said.

“I’m just glad you’re home,” she breathed.

“What was he doing here?” he asked, not really wanting the answer.

She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. “He said he figured giving me space was for the best, but now that I’ve had time to cool down, I was finally ready to hear his side of the story. He figured the best way to do that was to tell me in person. He’s been here for about three hours, and we argued the entire time.”

He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face up so he could see her. “He’s gone now. I’ll make sure he never bothers you again, mi vida.”

“I hate him so much. I hate what he does to me. He shouldn’t still have this power over me,” she said, crying again. Javi bent down and kissed her tears away before planting the softest kiss on her lips.

“The only thing I like about him,” he said, “is that he gave me you.”

She melted in his arms and kissed him. “Te quiero, mi Javi.”

He rubbed his nose on her. “Te quiero, mi hermosa.” His eyes soon turned devilish. “Well, all of my anniversary plans got shot to shit.”

She laughed and pushed him away. He watched her seductively move her hips as she walked to the door to close it. Slowly, she locked the deadbolt and leaned against the hard wooden surface. “That just leaves more time for mine,” she said, bending her finger for him to come to her. 

Obediently, Javi walked over. “I think I’m in trouble,” he said, pinning her to the door.

“And why is that?”

He kissed where her neck and shoulder met. “Because you’ve taken away my free will. Last year, when you came downstairs in that red dress, you looked at me through those long eyelashes and doe eyes. From then on, I knew you had me. I was yours the second you said ‘Tú, si no tienes cuidado.’ That’s the moment I fell in love with you.”

She swooned against the door and held him to her as she kissed him more passionately than earlier. He’d missed her more than anything over the last few days he’d been gone, and he planned on making it up to her for ruining their anniversary. After all, everything he did was for her.

There was a knock at the door, and Javi rolled his eyes, trying to contain his anger. He looked through the peephole and saw Steve standing there. “What do you want now?” he asked, cracking the door.

“Escobar’s escaped.”

“Wh-what?”

“The hunt is on. He’s fled La Catedral.”

Translations

Tú eres mi novio. - You are my boyfriend.

Solo tuyo. - Only yours.

Necesito mi camisa. - I need my shirt.

Ahora es mio. - It’s mine now.

¿Cierto? - Is that right?

Tienes que atraparme. - You will have to catch me.

Te quiero: I love you

Tag List

@larakasser​ @magneticbucky​ @pedropascalownsmyheart​

[luvtessascott]

SOI Hamilton Write-Up  Part 1/2 (Day/Show)

Hey guys!!! I can’t believe this weekend is already over, but even before starting to write this I have a smile on my face rather than the often the little bit of a post-event sadness. Much of that is because I got to spend the weekend with @makeitcountmeggy & @danelledo. I had such a fun girls weekend with them--hanging out, having life chats, talking skating, eating dessert, drinking wine, painting pottery, karaoke car rides, staying up till 4am, laughing, getting ready, going out. I can’t explain how much these two girls mean to me but the glow of this weekend in the words of @makeitcountmeggy was an energy in kind of feel; all around infectious positive energy.

We attended the Hamilton show on Saturday evening. @makeitcountmeggy & I sat together while Danielle went off to do her magic. Just as we were walking to our section we saw Kate siting in the aisle just across from us. Later she was joined by Alma and Cara and a bunch of other family/friends. Our seats were to the right of center on the long end, row 3. These were actually amazing seats, it’s the first row of the stands which makes you elevated from the on ice seating and row 1-2. You could see the entire ice the only thing that obstructed the view was the CBC video camera-- not an issue for me, because I much prefer the intimate venue for Hamilton compared to the ACC. BY THE WAY Y’ALL, guess who’s photo creds is in the SOI program **cough danielle cough**. We both bought programs to get signed at the M&G.

The show starts with the intro to Raise Your Glass. What a fun number, lots of energy. I love a good skate in formation with emphasis (not even sarcastic). The moment where Tessa, Gabi, Kaet, go up to Scott was on the way other end of the rink so I couldn’t see much but I still got it on video but it’s the back angle. Oh also, I hated those costumes on the boys, they just weren’t my cup of tea they were oddly...geometric? Lol sure, lets go with that word.

I’m not going to go number by number but I’ll give some of my general thoughts on performances for non-TS numbers. Jeff Buttle, is such a great performer. He did this program to another song from Dear Evan Hansen and it really was like a Broadway number and he carried it through the entire performance. Meghan and Eric-- I don’t think after watching them rise to the occasion at the olympics after such a tough last few season I’ll ever be able to watch them without a sense of pride. When you watch them skate, you remember all the work they put in to pave their own path despite being a partnership that no one thought would work. Their programs were entertaining and fun with some really cool elements-- I love when they do the throw into the side by side jumps. Gabi, she’s got so much energy and her jumps are so powerful I want to see her let go emotionally and give more in her face. Kaetlyn, she’s so well rounded loved both of her new show numbers she has great command of the ice. Javi’s second number was really great, I love seeing him do something slower and a bit uncharacteristic for him. Patrick’s Hallelujah was so powerful-- show patrick is my favourite patrick. While he skated I kept having flashbacks to him skating it at the olympics-- it was a beauty.

Boys number-- I love that song! It makes me want to get up and dance every time. The boys did really well with that performance but I promise you even without trying your eyes are drawn to Scott. He commits to the character so well and just has a blast out there. He lets it all go and really acts at the hype man for the other guys. When they were skating in a circle you could see him animatedly mouthing words to keep everyone motivated. Some will say that he’s too extra but he honestly looks the best out there because he gives it everything he’s got. Also poor eric sliding right off the ice,oopss! 

Girls number-- I’ve seen pretty stellar review for the girls number however while it’s pretty and the costumes were great, I found it underwhelming. I just thought they could’ve done more than pretty girls skating to pretty music. Give it a theme, make it more intricate, ect.

You Rock My World-- So I didn’t watch any videos before the show. It was hard but I love being surprised. I thought the number was great!! So fun, so jazz, they totally nailed the Michael Jackson theme. When I first saw the costumes online, I didn’t love them however in person they’re much more striking and sparkly. They skated the number with so much attitude and energy. Scott sang the whole time it was so precious. Chemistry was off the charts as usual. I actually feel like I need to re-watch videos of it now to properly take it in because of how fast it moved. TS are such performers, I know this is the second time I’ve mentioned committing to the role but this is another prime example. They both feed off each other and give it everything--every move having intention and purpose. Overall great number!

Shape of You-- I’d like to thank God, Jeff Buttle, and Tessa and Scott for this number where for lack of a better descriptor TS can feel each other up for three minutes RIGHT on my side of the rink, UH-MAZ-ING. The costumes were so striking and looked great on everyone one. TS totally committed to the routine were vibe-ing so well with the music and, of course, each other. Hella chemistry, geez! They play of each other, flirt with their eyes--it’s hypnotizing to watch.

Fields of Gold-- this number was so simple yet so powerful. I loved the choice of music and the lighting. I wish that Gabi and Kaet got their own entrance and that the piece was a bit longer, it ended much too soon. There was a easy sense of pride as the team was announced as Canada’s Gold Team Medalists and a roaring standing ovation took over. I loved the cute little choreographed group hug because you know that the team is thinking back to that moment on Olympic Ice--huge feels.

Moulin Rouge-- So again with not having watched any videos, bless @makeitcountmeggy for agreeing to film for me so I could just watch. I didn’t know what was coming for the intro but all my friends insisted that I would scream. The long time running with the cbc video was so cute, there was lots of ‘awww’s’ from the audience. I glanced back at Kate and I saw her with that proud mom teary eyed look. The second the lights flashed on for Moulin Rouge, in my direction first. I screeched, IT WAS SO BRILLIANT. It was totally visceral, who ever came up with that was genius. The program itself was so great, TS were really bringing it with their facial expression and totally committed to the program. It was probably my second favourite time seeing it-- nothing will beat nationals however the epic lighting and just how close we were sitting made it a close second. I thought it was great how they incorporated the little bit of the short dance into it, it totally fit perfectly. I also loveeeee that team event dress, it was so sparkly. The performance easily brought on a standing ovation. 

You Will Be Found--- I personally thought this number was a little over hyped. It was great music and it was fun when they all skated forward at the crest of the music but I just found it repetitive. The little TS bit at the end was very pretty. Also I loved that after he kissed T on the cheek and went to skate away he had this moment of ‘wow’ looking at and feeling the energy from the crowd he really feeds off it.

It was also nice to meet up with my other friends and get a squad pic at intermission, we hadn’t met up since nationals so it was fun to all touch base :)  @icevirtuemoir @canadianvirtues @tessavirtueandmoir

Part 2 will include the outtakes discussion and my meet and greet :)

Part 2