#I mean literally mins before
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Sometimes working through religious trauma is a heartfelt hour talking about reclaiming your bodily autonomy after being sexualized and shamed from a young age with your religious trauma coach and other times it's this text message from your therapist then a caption suggestion to "show my tumblr friends":
#for context my therapist is jewish#and he likes to point how Jesus was too but JC's whole story is only really told from a christian perspective#basically saying I don't have to conform or suffer for someone else's narrative#and y'all already know 'gayboy' is my favorite thing to call Jesus 'gayboy' Christ#so naturally he combined the two#But I had a great conversation about childhood neglect with my religious trauma coach today#And how overcontrolled my body was as a whole#from my hair to my health#everything was a sign of my sin somehow#even when I first got acne I had an intense fear that people would think I was having sex or dirty somehow#because my family constantly pointed out my acne#and my church at the time's girls' group taught us girls that had oral sex had acne around their lips#My medical needs were neglected#my autism was ignored or punished#etc etc#and this conversation was right after the texts from my therapist#I mean literally mins before#my car broke down so uh that's fun#and I had to switch from an in person to virtual appointment with my therapist for tomorrow#and he was like 'uh no this actually a punishment from The Lord. jk lol yeah I'll send you the telehealth link now'#and I was like 'I called Jesus 'gayboy' too many times and now I'm in Hell (my schools' shuttle system 🤢)'#[he graduated from the school i'm currently in undergrad for so hes seen the decline in our shuttle system's quality.#Ive been left for using a walker and told 'glad Im not as bad as you yet' when in a wheelchair]#and that lead to this message as well as the caption he wanted in quotes under it and ^ for tumblr#he calls yall 'my little tumblr friends'#hes so Offline I love this man#I told him tumblr will love it so yall better not make me a liar /j#this was so much information I hope y'all enjoy my lil journal entry for the day <333#ex christian#religious trauma
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AROUND (time): 30 minute window before and 30 after. BEFORE (time): the specified time is the absolute cutoff, bordering on late, so arrive somewhere in the hour before. AT (time): be punctual and be there or be square at the time. BY (time): something STARTS at the time specified and arriving at the exact time does not count as late. This is my take. I am not taking criticism at this time.
no dude bc I think you lowkey nailed it
#EDIT: JUST BC I ANSWERED THIS ONE DOESN'T MEAN I WANT A FLOOD OF ASKS ABT THIS i just think this queen was onto something#since it can't be improved on i don't need other definitions of on time for various phrasings of timed plans#At and By sound kind of the same but i think i'm seeing the divide. kind of. maybe#like By would be good to arrive early but At has absolutely no benefit to showing up w 30min to spare bc you'll just be waiting#I think is what the vibe is#but your Around is just as forgiving as my Around and i'm glad for that bc what the hell is this 10 min before 10 min after bullshit!!#do you have any idea how short 10 mins is!!#it could take 10 minutes to literally find my good bra...#sergle answers
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WAOT WERE U THE ONE TSUKASA COSPLAYER AT MIKUEXPO GIVING OUT MIKU STICKERS TO THE PJSK FANS
THATS ME!!!!! i didn't mean to just give them to pjsk fans help but i severely underestimated how many i should've made and cut out .. so i just ended up giving them to cosplayers or people who said hi to me .... T_T
THERE'S ALSO THIS SUPER CUTE BRACELET SOMEBODY RAN UP TO ME AND GAVE ME AND I TREASURE IT SO I NEED TO ADD IT TO THE POST AND SHOW IT OFF .. WAH!!!! ITS SO CUTE LOOK!!!!!!
#again WAS NOT MY BIRTHDAY. MIKUEXPO TORONTO FELL ON TSUKASAS BIRTHDAY IN JAPAN TIME. SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.#i love your icon cause i saw a garf miku cosplayer at mikuexpo toronto too IT WAS SO AWESOME#i saw snother tsukasa cosplayer in hid school outfit and they had cute star glasses i Need some.#in the future n for cons i think i'll just order stickers to hand out .. cutting them out by hand was so much .....#especially when i did the whole pjsk cast. 10 or so of each of them. my best friend helped and it still took like 2 hours#<- I DID THAT FOR ANIME NORTH I MEAN i think i forgot to post about it here. anyways#i dont plan on tabling at cons or snything cause i just like attending them so much. but#In the future i think i'll just pay to get Nice little prints or stickers made and shipped to me to hand out ...#Sorry they arent actual stickers they're just laminated with tape i did them the night before while crunching for the con the week after.#alliellama#ask#sorry to go on but mikuexpo really was such a good time#when we first got there i was in the merch line w my friends and skmeone came up and said can you do the tsukasa laugh right here right now#but everything we said echo and i was like T_T no im shy ...#and then 2 hours later i heard there was a saki cosplayer there and started running around the venue shouting SAKI. SAKIII. SAKI.#WE FOUND HER IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS which is impressive because there were a lot of people. by god.#it was so fun. we had such a good time i could go on. everyone was so FREAKING NICE. AND GAVE SO MANY FREEBIES. AND COMPLIMENTS.#but i literally only had like ..30 mikus. to hand out. i felt SO BAD. CONSERVING THEM.
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hey girl...........................
#i mean th-- ...wait...#love notes#himym#love notes: barney ♡#💕 Our love is LEGEND ━ wait for it! ━ DARY! ✨ LEGENDARY! ✨#god let me be In Love for a second.#it is 4:24am and ill probably queue this for uh. whenever#and i am in Love albeit briefly so i am documenting my In Love Feelings so i remember i felt somewhat OK for 5 mins#he is literally just some guy. Just Some Guy!!!!! and he's an asshole!!! yet i LOVE him#i think i feel such a sentimental attachment to him bc ive loved him since i was a teenager#and i remember watching the finale when it aired in march 2014#so. wow yeah its been TEN years at least since i've been self shipping with barney. wow#maybe it's been 11 or 12 yrs bc i do remember i started watching himym before the show started s9#so... however long its been at least 10 years. and that is a long ass time#im so tempted to just shove this into my drafts but then ill forget abt it and itll get buried. so here! take this!
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loving all the people being confused as to why Varric has like darker hair now instead of being ginger, not knowing thats what can happen to redheads when they age lol
tumblr users discover aging: more at 11!
#it literally took me 3 seconds to look that up guys cmon#this is literally what I mean by taking 5 mins to think about something before we post like 90% of your questions about this game#will be answered by that#worth saying its not ALL redheads#just some#iirc the game is set around like what 9:50ish dragon?#the mans in his 50s now! ofc he isn't going to look the same as DA2 or Inquisition#and like the dwarven lifespan isn't confirmed but if its anything like the other races its like what? 70-80 years?
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This just in: Woman is woken from peaceful sleep by realisation that Stede Bonnet aka Rhys Darby is the voice of Coran from VLD and has only just put two and two together upon hearing his voice in a fucking tv commercial
#dude you can’t make this shit up#I’ve literally just woken up and realised where I’ve heard Rhys’ voice before#I’ve never watched ofmd n I’ve been really wanting to#but I’d never heard his voice—only seen his name#until he recently did a commercial for British television n I recognised him as Rhys and recognised his voice but couldn’t think where from#then it hit me a few mins ago n I was like ‘Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wai-’#and lo and behold#Rhys Fucking Darby is the voice of Coran Coran the Gorgeous Man#and Hypno-Potamus for all you rottmnt fans#bruh this is groundbreaking information for me#fuck#anyway#rhys darby#ofmd#our flag means death#stede bonnet#taika waititi#vld#Voltron#voltron legendary defender#Coran#vld Coran#coran coran the gorgeous man#rottmnt#hypno potamus
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my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)
#it! is! so! annoying! just! be! normal! *screams*#genuinely i did piss myself as a kid a LOT until i was like. 10. no lie.#bc i would not know - at all! no inclination whatsoever! if i went anyway nothing would come out! - i needed to pee#until we hit 'you are going to piss yourself immediately'#just 0 to 100 in 0.35 seconds#and i did not have the control or muscle strength or whatever to not just. piss myself if i wasnt in immediate reach of a bathroom#i went though two. years. of 'bladder retraining' therapy#which is MEANT to retune you into signals or whatever so you know you need to pee with a fucking resonable amount of warning#spoiler: it did not do this#it did not improve the signalling at all whatsoever#what it DID do was develop the necessary strength and control to become doubled over with sudden OH GOD RIGHT NOW pee pain#BUT be able to hold it off for 5-10 min if necessary#which to the adults around me was a success bc it looked like i knew how to pee properly now#i don't. i just know how to NOT pee MYSELF and make it embarrassing. difference.#look man i'm 33 presumably there will literally never be a point in my life where i will know 'oh i kinda need to pee' an hour before#i will always be playing Highway To The Danger Zone every day forever#i just live like this#CHRIST it's so FUCKING annoying though#i mean this applies to all functions i have no internal signalling for anything until it is Super Right Now Urgent#my body notify me of anything at all ever challenge (impossible)#god if this aint the most annoying one though
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she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!
#like have some shame omg . have some respect#shes soooo certain i will date her she keeps saying shes not worried she doesnt care etc etc bc she knows i want to date her#not even that. she Declared we were dating. like when i was like do u even want this. not just going on dates but acc dating. and she was#like wdym? im already dating you . like ok??? i wasnt informed ig#anyway i said she was arrogant and she said she knows so.#also she did several things when she was drunk that i found cringe/i personally would b embarrassed if i was her but she just found it funn#like genuinely does she have no sense of shame#also her reasoning is that shes too hot to be rejected and since im talking to her instead of... not that makes her certain that#no matter what i say i wont reject her#WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO REJECT HER. DONT TELL ME WHAT I WANT OR WHAT TO DO. UGH.#I WANT TO FIGHT HER FR MEIN GOTT#also i want her to be more romantic i literally told her im not asking her out on the next date lmao#also if we do end up dating properly i have to swear and oath never to argue w her and just communicate slowly and clearly bc imagine#lawyer and philosophy student get into an argument and theyre both scorpios. insane combination imo#INSUFFERABLE. she was also 40 mins late and tbf she did warn me and keep me updated but i was still rly mad at her bc#i was waiting for so long . and i was like . listen im gonna leave. and she walked thru the door. but anyway she apologised but also she#said no ones ever threatened to leave her b4. what do you mean before?? anyway i told her to respect my time more and she was like i cant#believe im being told off by a 21 yr old like bitch ur literally 24 stop acting ancient fuck off#UGH SHES SO IRRITATING. WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ME MORE.#crushposting
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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i'm like 5 mins into mcelroy family clubhouse ep 2 which is travis' absolutely unhinged stardew valley game complete with pokemon and a druid aghklghdalkhgdalkhgadkl
#im like literally dumb i have played through the entirety of stardew valley before and i didnt realize#before watching this. i dont even want to say it. i will though i am frequently stupid in public#i didn't realize you could get recipes from the TV ;__; and i turned this on the other day for a min and learned that#and ive been doing it ever since ;__; tragically stupid#so i mean theres some merit to watching other people stream games#personal#i dont watch these straight through though bc i have adhd and i cant. i cant watch someone else play stardew for an hour straight lmao
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haven't got energy to be on here with all the work load this week but i hope everyone's doing good 🥺💖
#literally didnt have a single spare minute on work and on my days off im just sleeping 😭😭😭#i came home dehydrated starved depraved of basic beeds and overstimulated by communicating too much at work 😩#i mean i come home like that every shift but today man i havent eaten for 9 hours before i was able to sit my ass for 3-4 mins to#gulp down the cheap coffe and a little waffle 😭😩#i ate my lunch too early today so i was starving for the rest of the shift 🤦♀️💀
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listening to call your mom rn (god it feels wrong spelling it like that)
gripping u by the shoulders. this song is everything to me.
#OKAY STORYTIME THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR:#do u guys remember that girl that was basically my bi-awakening and we had the very stereotypical#intense homoerotic friendship that traumatised the both of us? yeah her#well basically i still have a lot of love for her and we're still friends like she's in my hometown friend group so when i talk about them#i still mean her and out of our entire group she's the ONLY one who didn't go to uni and me and my other friend spoke recently#about how unhappy we know she is bc she got abandoned by us in this awful hometown and we dont think she loves her boyfriend#so much as she stays with him bc she literally has no one else until we come home her life is literally just waiting for us between terms#and i worry about her all the time and one thing that happened a while back was she did drugs w this one guy by the river#and she completely whitied like it was just weed but she was 17 and had never done it before and turns out she's like me#where edibles just do NOT agree with her on a good day let alone when she took as much as she did and she was with a random boy#by the fucking WIER (basically a big dangerous waterfall) and we were all at our mate's house that was a 40 min walk away#and she RANG ME. i was the one she rang. that still sticks with me. and omg it was so scary bc she was so out of it on the phone#and all i managed to get from her was that Something Was Wrong (didnt know what) and that we needed to pick her up#so we did. we got on bikes and fucking RACED to this girl and we picked her up and in the end she asked for her mum#and i was the one to take her to her mum and knock on the door and stand there with her daughter's arm around my shoulder#barely conscious her sick on my shoes and explain what happened. like WHAT#& yeah basically i still have so much love for that girl and i know she struggles with shit hence why that even happened in the first place#and it's like. im still here. i still love you. i'll call your mum. i'll come and get you. just ring me and i'll pick up. stay on the line.#so yeah this song did unimaginable damage the first time i heard it. literally gives me chills and transports me to my 17 year old self#we were young and didnt know what we were doing and the town was suffocating us#AND WE WERE BOTH DROWNING AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO SAVE EACH OTHER BUT THERE WAS AN UNDERSTANDING THAT WE WERE DROWNING TOGETHER#ask#noah kahan
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Have officially begun the process of moving all my content onto the new blog bc my faith in support to actually fix the issue does not actually exist.
If it gets fixed I'll keep using this blog like I've been and just consider the other one a backup. Otherwise I won't be deleted this blog, but I won't be using it regularly (if I continue to), and not for posts meant to go into tags.
I'm not following people yet bc I'm still in the process of moving posts, which means mass reblogging, which means 200 posts straight per day until I'm caught up.
#DCB Comments#a couple of y'all followed me anywhere when I was doing a test run for smth tho LOL#you two are gonna get swamped until I catch up sjhkfgsj#and I mean y'all are free to follow the new blog. just. like. you're gonna get buried in the reblogs for now lol#I'll still post my DCB runs stuff for now since that was always just a personal tag#but big kid meta/discussion posts will be on the new blog bc apparently I'm also not showing up in people's notifications#when I reblog stuff/reply to it. no point in trying to have a conversation when my blog is like#80 percent shadowbanned. :') I can still send/receive messages but#that's basically the last functionality left that I seem to have for ppl who get shadowbanned#which apparently usually happens bc of logging into the blog on a VPN and it blacks you automatically for that#unfortunately my Opera browser has a built in VPN that is usually on#and while I don't usually use Opera sometimes I have to bc my comp physically cannot handle#going onto people's (user).tumblr.com versions of their blogs on Chrome#it will literally freeze the computer for at least a solid ten to twenty mins and then either the page will crash#or the entire browser will crash. started to happen kiiiind of recently? but yeah. sometimes I just#have to check actual blog pages on other browsers and I've had to use Opera for that before#so my VPN would've been on and... yeah. can p much guarantee that's what got my shadowbanned#apparently staff can take up to several weeks to even respond/resolve the issue so I ain't waiting#at least not to move my stuff bc I'd rather it just be done and over with if I end up using the blog#instead of having to do it all once I'm actually ready to use the blog#most of the stuff I'm reblogging rn is the oldest stuff from the sideblog lol#like back when I moved things from there to here. it's easier to do now since I'm just clicking my previous tags but#I'm still gonna hit a daily dead end unfortunately so may as well get started now
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you know it's bad when you hit the 30 tag limit
#like shut up i wasn't done#i feel so unbearably hurt and betrayed like how can i be SO. unimportant to him so less of a priority that he's literally organising his#desk instead of talking to me taking five mins to talk to an agent book a ticket in tatkal#i told him i had to be back by 20 even before coming here on like 5th#and ive been reminding hin this everyday since after diwali#still he just. doesn't care?#and im his daughter? am i his daughter? does it even mean anything?????#ive never felt more alienated from my family than today#isn't it sad i don't even expect anything from mom all she does is tries to lighten the mood by making jokes#im so sick of her even the sight of her her voice makes me want to shout at her#i don't do it ofc but still#everyone is so selfish she's so selfish too she's always complaining about how i don't love her how i don't give her a chance#but that she'll stay away from all important thinhs that actually matter to me like what's the point of having a mother then??? i have my#siblings to listen to me i have my friends you i need u to be an adult and fucking help me in real terms#nvmind that path is just hopeless#anyway in tired of my small fucking life and my same small fucking problems and my own fucking self#everything would be okay if i just studied a little bit harder#idk ive been practicing saying it out loud that i can't study more than tui and after seven times i can say it out loud now#without crying or my voice watering#so hopefully it will go well#tho in my experience i never actually get to sya the stuff i practice to say to him because he dominates the convo so early so fast im#left speechless and shocked and on the verge of tears AGAUN#it's fine im calm now#but after crying headache ugh i did not miss u at all going back to storing all breakdowns in a bottle
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went to boygenius last night, got hit with cake lucy was throwing into the audience and i said Thank You
#anyways it was literally. i’m still buzzing. i was SO close#going to a show in new haven means you pay $50 show up 45 min before doors open#and end up like Right up at the fucking front of the floor#.txt
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look im not saying anything but like... ichigo’s dad when he was a soul reaper you know when he met ichigo’s mom & all...yum
#sleepy talks#im like finishing the thousand year blood war 13 eps#and i LOVE isshin#im sorry ichigo your dad? dilf before he was even a dad#u can keep orihime imma just literally go for ur dad this is the ONLY true moment where u can fuck someone's dad#anyway im so happy they made the stern ritter saga in anime cuz damn. i mean hueco mundo was fucking LIT. bleach deserves being animated#im sooooooooo crying every 5 min#bleach fans unite
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