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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with

having a good time

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed.

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

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obscurest-reference · 3 years ago

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MCR's albums and their concepts

alright so Michael Romance My Chemical Romance released a new song. need to brush up on your history? here's your guide to their albums! this will not be track-by-track, i might mention a few specifically, but this will be the general story of each of their albums.

also, disclaimer: i myself only have a vague grasp on the first three albums (not Danger Days though, i've got the comic for that one and i love it very much), so this also sorta acts as my notes i take as i research (because what i know of the albums' concepts are super intriguing).

Album one: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love

The beginning. The first track, Romance, is actually a cover. Don't ask me what the original is called or who it's by because I can't remember. But basically this album is about two lovers (who some believe are the Demolition Lovers) running away from a hoard of enemies before getting killed in the desert. If you're seeing Three Cheers as the sequel to this story, then only one of them dies. Based on the reoccurring theme of vampires, you could also see the hoard of enemies as vampires chasing after the two.

If you do some more digging, you can see that some songs have different endings for the Demolition Lovers. For example, Drowning Lessons is about a husband killing his wife on their wedding day, while Early Sunsets Over Monroeville is about zombies taking the speaker's lover. Drowning Lessons also has allusions to Three Cheers, with lines like "a thousand bodies piled up" and "tomorrow we'll do it again". Fun fact: Early Sunsets Over Monroeville is my favorite MCR song next to Cemetery Drive, and it's based off a zombie apocalypse movie where the survivors take shelter inside an abandoned mall (the movie is called Dawn of the Dead, btw).

But anyway, the main gist of the first album is, "I ran from the enemies with my lover and now she's dead".

Album two: Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Gerard Way has literally spoken on this album's concept, so here ya go:

"The concept for the record Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, was the story of a man and a woman who are separated by death in a gunfight and he goes to hell only to realize by the devil telling him that she’s still alive. The devil says you can be with here again if you bring me the souls of a thousand evil men and so he hands him and a gun and he says I’ll go do it. That was the idea behind the concept, the record ended up being much more about loss and real life than anything, so I would say it’s a good split."

(source)

This album is also very much influenced by Gerard's and Mikey's grandmother's passing, which is why it's about loss more than anything else. But aside from that, the songs are basically about the speaker losing his lover, then going on that murder spree to be reunited with her, which he doesn't end up achieving-- in I Never Told You What I Do for a Living, after killing 999 evil men, he learns the last person he must kill is himself. If you want to see it connect to The Black Parade, maybe he's The Patient.

Album three: The Black Parade

Ah yes, the classic. This album doesn't necessarily have a storyline per se, but just a general concept. It's pretty straightforward and simple: a man, named The Patient, is at the end of his life, reflecting on his past memories, when Death appears to him in the form of his happiest memory-- a marching band parade. The songs included generally don't connect super well to the concept and are pretty ambiguous, but that makes sense for the narration. I mean, I don't think I'd be able to think straight if I knew Death is coming for me.

Along with this, a lot of the songs (like Teenagers) reflect Gerard's personal struggles. Some people see the album as a parallel to how Gerard was struggling and dealing with certain things.

Bonus: The Black Parade: The B-Sides are songs that didn't make the cut onto The Black Parade (plus live versions of WTTBP and Famous Last Words). Shame, because those three extra songs are, like, some of their best ones. I will fight you on this.

Album four: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Alright gang, buckle up, because this album is *chef's kiss* in terms of concept. Okay, I honestly liked Three Cheers's concept the best, but DD is the most fleshed out (especially because there's a whole comic to go with it).

The concept for this album is this: set in a post-nuclear California in 2019, there is a "company" (more like government figure, almost like Big Brother in 1984) called Better Living Industries, which I'll refer to as BLInd. BLInd has a chokehold on the citizens of Battery City, giving them pills and headphones (and doing... other things) to keep them complacent. The album is focused on the group called the Killjoys, who live outside of Battery City and are battling and rebelling against BLInd. Can you guess who our Killjoys are? Yep, it's the boys!

If you watch the music videos, what happens is our four Killjoys ride around California with a girl (affectionately called The Girl) in tow, killing Dracs (people who work for BLInd) and all that fun stuff. The MVs end with the Killjoys dying, and The Girl surviving, and this is where the comic picks up. Seriously, the comic is really good. Go give it a read. I could talk about Korse and Dr. Death and allathat but I'll spare you.

Bonus: The Mad Gear and Missile Kid is a collection of songs that MCR recorded, and it's what the Killjoys listen to in this post-apocalyptic world they've created. This EP isn't on streaming services. All three songs clock in at under 6 minutes total, and if I'm being 100% honest, I didn't know this EP existed until writing this. I'm listening to it for the first time right now. It sounds like music that would play in a video game or something. Here's a YouTube link to the EP. It's a vibe.

Album (?) five: Conventional Weapons

So this album isn't a true album, it's a compilation album. MCR released these songs in five pairs, spanning from October 2012 to February 2013. This is the album they began recording before DD, until it was scrapped and they decided they wanted to write something else. As far as I can tell, there isn't really a "concept" for this compilation, and if there is, it hasn't been revealed yet. The best guess anyone has is this is the original Mike Milligram story (who was the original Killjoy and protag of Danger Days before they scrapped him and is also the focus of their comic Killjoys: National Anthem), but this hasn't been confirmed.

Bonus: May Death Never Stop You, Living With Ghosts, MCR5

Lastly, we've got these babies. May Death Never Stop You is a final compilation of all of MCR's greatest hit, plus Fake Your Death. I feel like if there was a movie about my life, Fake Your Death would play during the credits. To be honest I don't even think I need to explain Fake Your Death.

(But I will anyway: MCR broke up. They died. But then they got back together! They really did fake their death.)

Living With Ghosts is an album which is literally just a re-recording of The Black Parade done for the original album's 10th anniversary. But! The album also includes demos, such as Emily and All The Angels, that (supposedly) would've been on MCR's fifth album, which was called The Paper Kingdom. This album would've been their darkest yet-- the concept was parents at a support group because they lost their children to violence. Yeah. Supposedly Fake Your Death was gonna be on this album, but the only evidence I have for that is Reddit, so uh. Honestly I'm all for dark stuff, I would love to see this album come to fruition, but then again, I'm pretty much happy with whatever they give us at this point.

---

This concludes my masterpost on MCR's albums! Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta listen to The Foundations of Decay and FUNERAL GREY (by Waterparks) on repeat.

#mcr #my chem #my chemical romance #gerard way #mikey way #ray toro #frank iero #i brought you my bullets you brought me your love #three cheers for sweet revenge #the black parade #danger days #danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #conventional weapons

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fiendishpal · 4 years ago

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hii fiend!!! i literally adore your art its so pretty and it- it just- *inhales* *exha-*💞💖✨💞💖✨💞🙏🛐🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️anyways so- bcz u guided me to the osaaka ship and now im in love w it couldya please offer me some fic recommendations? ok, i just love ur art ur one of ny faves lov u have an amazingly sweet and beautiful day!!! :D

sure thing!!

i’ll put them by category here (i also have some art for some of them, i’ll post them when i’ve got the time)

i’ve put a star ★ beside fics that i’ve read a bunch of times hahaha!

canon-compliant

(fics that i think you should read first. mostly canon-compliant. so these are post-timeskip. after their meeting at the black jackals vs adlers game. these really won’t make any sense if you’re anime-only, sorry.)

stay with me go places by sparksandsalt ★

this fic. THIS FIC!!!!! this started everything for me!!! this is the reason why i started shipping osaaka!!!! the way they handled the characters is sooooo!!! *chef’s kiss* they really stick true to the characters' voices and the care they put into characterizations is impeccable. i also love bokuto and akaashi’s relationship here!! they’re so in each other’s lives that bokuto ends up exposing akaashi’s feelings indirectly and accidentally lmao and also atsumu and osamu’s relationship is so funny and hilarious. they are like how brothers are, atsumu showing his support but also clowning osamu in the process

this fic single-handedly fueled me to create so much osaaka content.

i dont know how many times i’ve read this tbh

wait by sanguinedawns

i love the yearning in this fic. the longing and the waiting and the expectation there. they’re trying to be subtle about their feelings for each other but they’re seen at the end but at 4k it’s narrated so smoothly. i love mutually pining idiots.

in the afternoon by yamaboto

this is so!!! i love this so much!! at 1k we see osamu yearning for akaashi once again. i love how they write this short scene. i could really picture the afternoon light coming in through the traditional panel doors and how the light must feel on your skin.

take what we love inside by yamaboto

this is an established relationship osaaka and how they got together. in the afternoon (the fic above) is a snippet of how warm the writer could put words together. and it really is so sweet there’s a scene where they slow dance and it’s the best. i also love the simple fact that they put in how osamu cannot let anybody go hungry hhaha

shout softly by lostsunsets

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS MADE MY HEART FEEL SO LIGHT AND SOFT AND TENDER. THIS FIC IS SO PRECIOUS OH MY GOSH

i love love loooooooove how the author put osamu's love and passion for food and filling in the pieces on what osamu does to fuel this passion --while in the back burner-- while he was still playing volleyball in high school

AND HOW HE LONGS FOR AKAASHI. THIS IS MAKING ME AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

GO READ IT PLEASE

we’re in au territory

(the setting is not canon-compliant)

sleeping with the enemy by billionairevolleyboysclub ★

the setting is in 2013 haikyu volleyball circuit. meaning they’re still in highschool and are still playing volleyball and they just happen to chance upon each other at interhigh.

i love how sweet osamu is and how he got his crush on akaashi. and it’s lovely how they wrote the budding of a highschool relationship!! and their take on how osamu and akaashi handle ldr??? it’s delicious. dont let the fake/pretend relationship tag fool you this is very cute i love them so much!! i guess the ‘no drama’ aspect is what i like about this a lot bc osamu’s a pretty straightforward guy esp i guess back in highschool. also the second-hand embarrassment is real lmao

welcome in by risquetendencies ★

in this setting osamu’s still the owner of onigiri miya but the au aspect of this is that they haven’t met before. so basically a meet-cute.

and man oh mannnnn the tension written here is good food. osamu is written so obviously into akaashi (i mean who wouldn’t) and akaashi is affected by this greatly and it is!!! wow!! i just love how smooth osamu is here and how flustered akaashi gets bc “omg a hot guy likes me????” (yes akaashi, this hot guys thinks you’re a sexy piece of ass please believe it)

akaashi in a gay panic is literally the best thing.

blood brothers by billionairevolleyboysclub (18+)

miya twins are vampires and akaashi has a thing for fangs. that in and of itself is enough reason for you to read this. i also love how the writer puts a distinction between atsumu and osamu on how they interact with/ feed on akaashi.

like the dawn by eggsan

this fic is actually inspired by my royalty au but im not putting this here bc of that. i really like how the writer introduced their story. i remember telling someone that the atmosphere of how they write is like the voice of a soft-spoken maiden hahaha it's lovely!! think light academia aesthetic. i also love how i get the doki-dokis when osamu, who is essentially a stranger, gets close to akaashi. i can feel akaashi's excitement and trepidation.

forgive the sea, follow the tide by KyryeDuBarie (18+)★

PIRATE AU!!!!!!

i love the fresh twist that they did here on the classic mermaid/pirate au. the twist being akaashi is actually a pearl diver and at the same time being vaguely hinted as a mermaid hhahaha. osamu's a pirate that got shipwrecked and got washed up on akaashi's shores that akaashi, of course, saved.

there's a bunch of cool things that happened too that i cannot disclose bc that'll ruin the thrill of reading this. the plot is solid and the romance between osamu and akaashi is gradual but so so sweeeeet!! i highly recommend this!! but better clear up your schedule bc this hefty boy comes in at a whopping 40k!!!!

keep time on me by yamabato

this fic is based from my zombie apocalypse au!! and even though it’s set in the end of the world, they were still able to write it so sweet and comforting????? i only wish osamu and keiji the happiness they deserve :’)

i also like the whole theme of time in the story and how the story revolves around it. it’s very good!!!

the contest between by batman (18+)

akaashi is a documentary director and osamu is his subject. i love love looooove how the author wrote how stubborn both of them are and how they could clash sometimes but not in the explosive type of way. it’s actually cute and sweet, you’ll see what i mean when you read this hhehehe

AND AKAASHI IS SO LOVELY HERE!!! so lovely!!! and he laughs and smiles a ton and those moments were written in a way that just said ‘look at this angel!’ LMAO idk maybe that’s just me. i love akaashi so much

AND THIS BABY COMES IN AT A WHOLE 75K!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!

#chocomilked #fiend talks #fiendish recs #GIVE THESE AUTHORS SOME LOVE #love love looooove these fics i swear by them!!!!#if i find more i''l update these!!#happy reading tumblr used chocomilked!! hahaha #osaaka #EDIT: added two new fics!!!#let me go around the fics i've read again hhaha

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impalementation · 4 years ago

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spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 1

I said a long ways back that I thought the switch from Angel to Spike as Buffy’s primary love interest represented an interesting evolution in the show’s attitude towards—and interrogation of—romanticism, and I finally felt like expanding on what I meant by that. This is very long, very meandering, and not terribly academic or well-edited, but I hope there’s something of interest in it nonetheless. It is about 20,000 words in total, and will discuss, in more or less chronological order, the arc of the show’s attitude towards romanticism as it is embodied in Spike, Angel, Buffy and Buffy’s relationships with both of them. I was going to release it as one long post, but because it’s so long, I figured a series of posts might be more readable. Here’s the first one.

“When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

Both Spike and Angel are at once capital-R Romantic figures, and lower-case romantic interests, and in both cases that Romantic/romantic duality is what makes them such effective avatars for ideas around romanticism. In the case of Angel, the show is aware from the beginning that he is very much a Romantic idea of something. In “Welcome to the Hellmouth” Buffy describes him as “dark” and “gorgeous”, evoking the “tall, dark and handsome” cliche. He’s mysterious. He gives her a necklace and his coat, gestures out of high school romance fiction.* In “Out of Mind, Out of Sight” Giles lampshades the romance of him: “A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way.” Initially, Angel is basically designed to be a teenage girl fantasy, and it’s no coincidence that his successors like Edward Cullen or Stefan Salvatore conform to similar tropes.

*(Think of how five seasons later, a vampire will give Dawn his letterman jacket in “All the Way”. It’s hard not to read as a deliberate echo of Angel’s gift in season one. Once again, a vampire makes romantic gestures towards a high school version of “Buffy”, and later turns on her. But more on this much later in the series.)

The difference between Angel and those other, more typical Supernatural Romance love interests however, is that the show ultimately attempts to subvert the romance of him. As part of its commentary on Gothic themes, season two makes Angel more Romantic than ever (the Claddagh, the tormented past), and makes the romance between him and Buffy central to the story in a way it wasn’t in season one. And then, of course, the season tears it all apart. The first time we learn what Angel did to Drusilla it’s horrifying, but still somehow abstract. Something that seems more like it’s meant to contribute to Angel’s dangerous, Byronic image. As in, something to make him more Romantic. And then suddenly it becomes real. Suddenly, it’s something that Angel could do to Buffy, or the people Buffy cares about. It turns out that his darkly romantic aura was not just an aura, but genuinely dark all along.

In turn, Angel’s devastating transformation is a metaphor for broader disillusionment about romantic ideas. It’s less to me about a “guy going bad after sex”, and more about what it means and feels like to have the scales fall from one’s eyes in that sort of situation. As Buffy copes with the fallout of Angel’s transformation, and later is forced to kill him, I see it as being about the tragedy of having to see the world in ways that are less simple, easy, or pretty as one gets older. As Buffy and Giles say in “Lie To Me”:

BUFFY: Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get.

GILES: I believe that's called growing up.

For more on this, I recommend this livejournal post on “Lie To Me”, which goes into great depth on the way season two frames stories as pretty lies that one needs to look beneath, and how Buffy’s romanticization of Angel symbolizes that.

The whole arc of the season is Buffy’s failure to see the danger presented by Angel. In this opening scene that danger is foreshadowed. More to the point for this essay, Angel goes on to lie to Buffy about having encountered Drusilla. He doesn’t want Buffy to know about the nature of Angelus – which means that his first inclination is to mask the danger he presents to Buffy. This is one episode after Halloween, where Buffy’s romantic fantasies about what Angel wants (a damsel) nearly get her killed. Nor is she completely over those fantasies, as she notes that the mystery woman talking to Angel had a pretty old-fashioned dress. So against the backdrop of Buffy’s fantasies about her dark and mysterious boyfriend we have the truth about what he is, which is quite horrifying.

Season three then takes this to another level, by not just pointing out the darkness of the romance of Angel, but in fact puncturing his romantic image. Instead of emphasizing his dangerousness, as season two did, season three emphasizes his adulthood. It emphasizes the way that Angel is someone Buffy sees in secret, or away from her friends. He’s not integrated with her teenage, high school life, and doesn’t fit with the peppy, high school movie aesthetic that characterizes a lot of season three. By doing this, the writing indicates that at this point in their lives, Buffy and Angel are ultimately incompatible and holding each other back. Regardless of however much they might care for each other, Angel can’t fully appreciate her teenage longings like dances, and college, and having a boyfriend. And Buffy can’t fully appreciate his adult need to find himself on his own terms. By the end of season three, Angel is less of a shadowy, tragic figure, and more just an adult man who needs to finally grow up a bit.

Season three also starts making jokes where the punchline is that Angel isn’t living up to the romantic aesthetic he embodied in seasons one and two. In “Helpless”, for example, he and Buffy have an exchange where he waxes sincerely about wanting to “keep [her heart] safe, to warm it with [his own]” and although Buffy says the sentiment is beautiful, a second later she deadpans: “Or taken literally, incredibly gross.” To which Angel replies, “I was just thinking that, too.” Or in “Graduation Day, Part 1”, Angel trips on a doorway instead of making a silent entrance and Buffy again deadpans: “Stealthy.” Angel’s romance slips at moments when Buffy herself is feeling weak, either because she has lost her Slayer powers, or she’s investigating the scene of her sister Slayer’s crime. Her Romantic Slayer half is betraying her, and her romantic girlish half is feeling insecure. This is echoed by the reminder that Angel is no longer a straightforward fantasy man--or a terrifying, larger-than-life villain--but a guy who is sometimes both verbally and physically inelegant.

(Notice how one of the few times season two makes similar jokes about Angel it’s in “Lie to Me”, the very same episode that begins to peel off the layers of deceptions and unknowns about him. Angel slumps around Willow’s bedroom and jokes about “honing [his] brooding skills”, he insists that the vampire wannabes know nothing about vampires right before a guy walks by wearing his exact outfit, and Xander runs color commentary, saying “you’re not wrong” after each of Ford’s observations. In “Lie to Me” one of Angel’s hidden faces is his dangerousness, yes. But another hidden face is simply his human awkwardness.)

There’s an interesting Slayage piece by Elizabeth Gilliland that discusses the idea of Angel as a Gothic double for Buffy, specifically connecting him to the story of Jekyll and Hyde. It argues that Angel’s split identities represent Buffy’s fears that her human and Slayer halves are irreconcilable, and she cannot fully control either half. In season three, the fact that Buffy and Angel must continuously resist a loss of control with each other, and are treated as romantically incompatible, reflects this fear.

In Season Three, replete with various factors in Buffy’s life that threaten to put her role as Slayer and girl into imbalance once more [...] Angel once again returns [...]. The season culminates in an attempted attack on Buffy’s classmates during graduation, which essentially forces her to “out” herself to her community and combine her roles as Slayer and daughter, classmate, and friend for the first time publicly (“Graduation Day: Part 2” 3.22). The worst has happened: her secret has been revealed, the entire school knows about both of her personas, and she has not only survived, but emerged with a stronger sense of self [...] Buffy has conquered her first Gothic fear, and proven to herself that she can not only exercise control over both dualities of her persona, but allow them to peacefully co-exist. Thus, Angel’s continuing struggle with Angelus can no longer act as her shadow, and he literally and metaphorically leaves her to continue the rest of her journey.

It’s an interpretation I mostly agree with, and see a lot of evidence for. But in keeping with the focus of this series, I think you could also read Angel as embodying a duality between the romantic and the unromantic. In this view, Buffy’s struggle between her human and her Slayer halves is not just a struggle between personas, but a struggle to see the world correctly. In season one, it’s not Angel that revives Buffy in “Prophecy Girl”, because Angel is a vampire trope just like the Master. He cannot help her, because he is exactly the kind of traditional romantic concept--like a candle-lit cavern, an ancient Nosferatu-looking vampire, or a Chosen Hero duty--that Buffy is trying to escape. In season two, loss of control is specifically associated with passion, romance, and romanticism. Buffy’s human half longs for the romantic, but her Slayer half, and Angel’s vampire half, prove that sometimes the romantic is something dangerous and violent. The fact that Buffy’s Slayer identity and Angel’s Angelus identity both end up being outed by the end of the season (especially to Joyce, a figure of Buffy’s human home life), echoes Buffy’s loss of innocence. Season three then continues this suspicion of passion. Buffy fears that like Faith, enjoying the violence and power and desire of being a Slayer, means that she will go down a dark path. She also fears that indulging in her sexual and romantic desire for Angel will unleash Angelus. To some extent, these fears are even borne out, given that her love for Angel results in her attempted murder of Faith, and near death at Angel’s hands. But to some extent they also aren’t, given that she, Faith and Angel all live.

To me, what really gets resolved at the end of season three is not quite the issue of Buffy’s human and Slayer halves, given that Buffy will continue to struggle with that duality until the end of the show. Rather, what gets resolved is the need for binaries. Binaries are romantic things. When Giles gives his speech to Buffy at the end of “Lie To Me”, it is the language of binaries that he uses:

GILES: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

BUFFY: Liar.

In season three, Buffy thinks she must resist both Faith and Angel. She thinks she can only be either a human girl or a Slayer leader. Many plots in season three have to do with the danger of binaries, whether that’s the witch-hunting parents in “Gingerbread”, Willow dealing with her vampire self in “Doppelgangland”, the various alter-egos in “Beauty and the Beasts”, or Cordy choosing a Buffy-less world in “The Wish”. And no character in the Buffyverse embodies the concept of binaries so starkly as Angel does. Thus by the end of season three, Buffy collapses the binaries within herself by merging the human and Slayer parts of her life, as Gilliland observes, and taking on Faith’s traits. She acknowledges her shadow by kissing her tenderly on the forehead, and bids farewell to the illusions and binaries that Angel embodies. Buffy is leaving that part of her life behind, and starting a new chapter where she can no longer split either the world, or herself, into any one thing or another.

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

#romanticism series #buffy #angel #s1 #s2 #s3 #s6 #gen #spike #btvs

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astrolovecosmos · 4 years ago

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~The Ascendant~

What is the ascendant? Is it your mask, your outer self, your personality, your physical appearance, is it part of your 1st house, it is IN your 1st house?

The ascendant may seem like a straightforward part of the chart but I’ve seen more and more debate about this angle/point in the community over the years as well as more frequency in confusion about it.

First, the ascendant marks the beginning of your 1st house and really your whole chart, it is an angle in your chart or a point in your chart. It is not “in” your 1st house. The sign your ascendant is in will also be the sign influencing your 1st house, this is because it marks the beginning of the house.

The most common misunderstanding or subject of confusion about the ascendant is the difference between the ascendant and the 1st House. Both sound very similar and/or share many of the same meanings. For example you may have heard that the ascendant and the 1st house can tell someone’s physical appearance. While I myself am skeptical of this, I will tell you that I think a planet aspecting the ascendant and/or in the 1st is more likely to influence looks rather than the ascendant or 1st house by itself. This is because planets are active players and energy in the chart whereas the house is just the environment.

Part of the confusion may stem from the fact this is the beginning of the chart - the birth of your chart in a way. The ascendant is surface expression and energy, a symbolic angle/point/division. The houses are environments and areas of life, the 1st house is the development of self and the environment of self. If you are out to find parts of the chart that tell of your physical appearance then both the ascendant and 1st house can come into play but know they are not interchangeable.

“[Ascendant] is the face that a person presents to the world as a shield to protect his or her inner sun-sign self. As the first thing others notice, an ascendant can effectively mask true personality.” - Judy Hall

The ascendant being about your “physical appearance” I think is the most superficial way to look at this part in astrology. Calling the ascendant a “mask” can be somewhat shallow but I still agree with this interpretation HOWEVER I think people may be looking at the idea of a “mask” in very simple terms. The ascendant can represent your outer self and the outer self may be very different than your emotional self or deepest sense of self and spirit but it doesn’t have to be shallow or superfluous. Just try interacting with a Scorpio ascendant!

The mask shouldn’t be ignored or looked over or underrated. Your outer self is still very much a part of you. Many astrologers have made the argument that the ascendant is not “just a mask” but your true personality, maybe even your most pure expression of personality. After all many horoscopes suggest you look at the ascendant rather than Sun or Moon sign. This is due to a few reasons; one because some believe the ascendant is a very accurate and raw description of who you are due to the fact your ascendant is calculated off your specific time of birth - it is more specific than just your Sun and Moon. Another reason is because many ancient astrologers drew horoscopes from the ascendant rather than Sun based on their calculations and methods.

But I think the “mask” and your “true personality” can be one in the same, I think your outer personality can be a very pure expression of who you are. I guess this may be more of a philosophical issue (my sag ascendant 😏) than just an astrological one.

Moving beyond first impressions the ascendant also acts as a way of viewing and taking in the world. Some astrologers even believe the ascendant is the place to look for when determining basic interests. The ascendant is your approach and perception. A Sagittarius ascendant for example may approach the world in an exploratory manner, with optimism and openness. A Capricorn ascendant approaches the world more seriously, looking for meaning or purpose in everything, being more realistic or possibly negative in their perception.

The ascendant is how we are externally and therefore can act as a gate or guard regulating how close others get and how they get to know us. While the midheaven is important for reputation and our “self” in the outer world, this is typically in a more distant manner, how strangers, acquaintances, and coworkers see us and interact with us. The ascendant can be looked at as the method and flavor in which we peel ourselves back, introducing our personality despite reputation and status.

“The ascendant signifies the point of ‘life’ because as the Sun rises here each morning it distributes its life-giving properties of warmth and light to the world.” - Deborah Houlding

The ascendant is the sign on the eastern horizon during your time of birth. In traditional astrology the “Sun is born at dawn” and “dies at sunset”. In this symbolism the ascendant has a focus on the very vitality and power of life where as the Sun travels to other points such as the IC, DC, or MC there is contrast with different meanings.

Because the ascendant actually starts the 1st House you can’t ignore their connection, the ascendant is part of the 1st House but you can’t completely intertangle them. Think of the ascendant as that very first spark of life and then the 1st house your beginning, the way in which the self is shaped. Planets move through the houses where as the houses themselves stay in the same position, they are in a sense passive.

But these angles/points are powerful spots of division and energy. A planet can aspect your ascendant or midheaven but cannot aspect your 1st house or 5th house, only a planet in the 1st or 5th can be aspected by another planet or point.

In summary the ascendant can cover a wide range of topics and associations and shouldn’t always be seen as something shallow OR its “surface level” shouldn’t be seen as something less or be devalued.

Associations and interpretations for the ascendant:

Physical appearance

Basic interests

First impressions and outward energy

Immediate self-expression

Vitality and spirit

Approach to the world

View of the world

Spark of character, intellect, and life

How we handle surface relationships

How we first enter relationships

Boundaries

How we reveal ourselves

Initial development of philosophies/beliefs

#ascendant #rising #1st house #astrology #zodiac #deep dive #rising sign

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alwaysalreadyangry · 4 years ago

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Charlotte, I've wanted to get into poetry for a while but haven't really known where or how to start, mostly because I have this kind of maybe weird tendency to rush through poems like I'm gulping down water. Curious how one actually like, reads and enjoys a poem; would love to hear your thoughts on reading and reception. Also I'm looking for lush, angry, queer, weird poems filled with longing, and would love to hear any suggestions or recs you might have!

ooh this has been really interesting to think about!! have been rolling it around in my brain for a while.

so, first off, a disclaimer: i don’t necessarily think i am a great or even a very good reader of poetry a lot of the time, and that’s fine -- if it’s worth doing it’s worth doing badly, etc. i am easily distracted and i tire out quickly and my magpie brain will focus on like, the language of a poem to the detraction of all else, and unless i’m being paid to write about a book or a poem or something then i don’t think reading in a way that feels wrong or inadequate is a problem on its own. sometimes i just enjoy quickly skimming for the language, and that’s good, that’s fine.

BUT for wanting to read to get more pleasure from poetry: i tend to say to read it like this the first time if that comes naturally to you, as it often does to me. skim, read it through without paying attention to the narrative or syntactical structure, but instead just looking for anything that makes your brain sparkle -- for me it’s going to usually be imagery and/or sound-patterning. see if there’s anything that makes you curious enough to dig in, any lines or sentiments that you like on their own. the surface-level or immediate pleasures with poetry are great and often what makes it worth digging down into the other stuff.

then, if you want to dig into a poem, it’s time to re-read! this time i’d recommend reading with closer attention to the most straightforward level of narrative or meaning: what is the poem most obviously saying? i am not someone who subvocalises, and sometimes my instinctively fast reading speed makes it hard for me to actually do this if the poem is at all playing around with language. in that case, it helps to read out loud, and to only move on from one sentence or stanza (or whatever unit of meaning the poem is using) once i have figured out what it means on a semantic level. depending on the length of the poem, once you’ve figured out as much of it as you can or care to, i’d recommend another quick read through to try and consolidate all of that in your mind.

then -- well, then you’ve kind of got the basics and the stuff that you’re interested in, and it can be fun to look back at the bits you liked in the first place to see what they mean to the rest of the poem, what they mean in terms of what the poem is saying. it could be that a rhyme or a repeated use of assonance emphasises something... you might find that two words are being linked by internal rhyme that don’t seem to have much to say to one another otherwise. is there any meaning there, in that connection? does it change what the poem says? how does the poem and what it does make you feel?

and depending on the poem you then want to just read again looking for anything else significant. is there a part of the poem you dislike? if you reread looking out for that, can you work out what’s going on there and why you dislike that aspect of it?

this will only work with certain types of poem, admittedly. i like a lot of poetry that is more innovative and abstract, where i have no clue what a poem is saying or doing, but i like the language and the feeling of the syntax inside my brain. so i’ll reread those a few times but don’t really have a semantic framework to get into them. it’s more about the language.

and then there’s visual poetry which doesn’t make use of words but of like -- shapes or the relation of shapes to space, and then it’s just about, idk. how i decide to try and “read” those relations and shapes, which i have no real roadmap for. i often just find myself staring at it like i would visual art, or trying to somehow reenact the shapes with my body as i “read” (like when i read a visual poem earlier today that is just a sequence of bells ringing in different directions -- to keep track of it i followed the bell’s movement with my head, tilting it right and then left).

does that make sense? i truly think that we don’t need to understand poetry to enjoy it; that there’s no right way to read or enjoy poetry, and that if we find we’re reading a poem that doesn’t interest us or make us happy, you can just stop. although if a poem makes a reader uncomfortable it can be a good idea to follow this kind of reading pattern to try and work out why! i hope this makes sense -- i’m afraid my answer is essentially just “reread the poems a lot”, but it’s good to go in knowing what to pay attention to each time, even if it’s just “this time i pay attention to what i like” and “this time i pay attention to what i dislike”. my brain needs structure like that because otherwise it is too flighty and sticky and will just roll around one phrase it likes in there for hours.

in terms of poetry recommendations, this is oddly tricky because there’s such an unexpected gulf between UK and US poetry -- i read more UK poetry and while there’s been a big explosion in the amount of interesting & vital queer poetry being published here over the past decade or so, a lot of it is relatively hard to get hold of unless you’re constantly keeping track of all of the new presses publishing pamphlets. so this is going to swing more US-focused but i will see if there’s any UK stuff i can think of too.

so first off, a cheat: i would recommend getting hold of these two big anthologies of trans poetry and having a look through to see if any of the writers grab your attention. hopefully academic libraries will have these or will get them on request? i say, hopefully. there is we want it all: an anthology of radical trans poetics, which came out recently (and i don’t have a copy yet). and then there’s troubling the line: trans and genderqueer poetry and poetics, from 2013. not as politically radical i’m guessing, but still could be worth looking through to see which writers you connect with.

i am drawing a blank on other anthologies right now, but in terms of exploring UK poetry, you can access issues of the zine zarf online here and i recommend it. not all queer but the editor is and there’s a great collection of stuff in there. i also recommend getting hold of their pamphlets as PDFs here, try alison rumfitt and gloria dawson.

second off, these are some poets i think you might like, i will link to some sample poems. mostly contemporary but not all:

dawn lundy martin

CAConrad

jackie wang

robert duncan

jack spicer (PDF)

jay bernard

miriam bird greenberg

sofia samatar

samuel the nagid

vahni capildeo

sophie robinson

frank o’hara

agha shahid ali

i am sure there are many many others i am forgetting but! i hope this is helpful!!!

#answers #poetry

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cheri-translates · 4 years ago

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[CN] S2 Gavin - The STF Filming Project (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a company project which has not been released in other servers!🍒

Do note that this post features S2 Gavin, but doesn’t contain S2 spoilers.

Timeline: The Guardian Project -> The STF Filming Project -> Dangerous Night Date

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

The brilliance of dawn filters through the shutters, illuminating the office.

The fingers tapping on the keyboard are slightly sore. I stretch. Without realising it, it’s already daybreak.

Displayed on the screen is the collaborative filming proposal I’ve been working on for several nights in a row, spanning over a hundred pages -- “A day in the Special Task Force”.

Previously, [MC’s Company Name], the government, and the STF’s collaborative criminal documentary received a surge of good reviews.

The audience also developed a huge curiosity and fervour regarding the daily life of STF members.

I originally wanted to ride on this popularity to produce a program formally introducing the STF. But right after the proposal was submitted, it was rejected mercilessly.

Although it’s understandable, I can’t help but suspect that Gavin doesn’t want to establish working relations with me.

Hence, I pump myself up, heightening my efficiency and working on the proposal in front of me.

MC: I don’t believe that this wouldn’t get approved by STF!

I’ve already sent the latest proposal two hours ago via email. The dawn is just breaking, so I don’t know when I’d receive a response...

My phone on the table suddenly lights up, the screen displaying a number I couldn’t be more familiar with.

I’m in a daze for a second, then hastily press the ‘answer’ button.

MC: Gavin, good morning.

Gavin: For this collaborative film--

MC: Hold on, don’t reject me so quickly! I’ve sent you the most recent filming proposal two hours ago, and added many more details.

On the other end of the line, Gavin is silent for a while.

Gavin: ...I’ve seen it.

I pause, a little nervous as I wait for Gavin’s final verdict.

MC: In that case, do you have any constructive ideas or advice--

Gavin: All right.

MC: What?

Gavin: The STF agrees to the filming.

His response is straightforward and succinct. The drowsiness in my head dissipates instantly.

MC: So it’s agreed! I’ll bring the film crew over to observe the site immediately.

Gavin: ...I’m not done. There’s one additional condition.

MC: It’s all right, I’ll agree to any condition.

The sound of taciturn breathing can be heard from the other end of the line.

Gavin: Hearing this from you is sufficient.

Before I can probe further, he hangs up.

MC: No matter what, these days of hard work didn’t go to waste!

After this, all I have to do is wait for the official filming and that unstated condition.

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

At 7am, the car stops outside the entrance of STF punctually. The officer in charge of receiving us, Xiao Zheng, is already waiting for us.

Xiao Zheng: Please follow me.

After going through a strict verification of our identities and an examination, we formally step into STF’s symbolic building.

According to the rules, we can access areas typically open to outsiders, and a few office buildings. We are prohibited from entering confidential areas.

Even so, the film crew maintains a high level of enthusiasm.

Kiki: Do all the special police have special equipment? For example, something which looks like a pen on the outside but is actually a powerful hand grenade, like in 007?

Minor: I heard they even have spectacles that can obtain someone’s information after scanning their pupils!

Seeing that Xiao Zheng is being put on the spot, I step in to mediate the situation.

MC: We’re just here to present a day in STF to the public. Isn’t a relaxed, mundane side of things even more interesting?

Minor and Kiki nod regretfully. A miserable, shrill cry suddenly drifts from the room at the end of the corridor.

Willow: Is there an interrogation going on? Are we allowed to collect materials on that?

Right after she finishes speaking, the electronic door opens slowly.

A special police officer pounds on his back, groaning as he walks out.

Special Police A: Hey Xiao Zheng, let me use another one of your muscle patches. My old affliction is acting up again. I almost died from the pain when I bent down just now.

The corridor lapses into complete silence.

MC: [coughs] ...actually, this is also a very interesting detail.

I turn towards Xiao Zheng, who is forcing himself to smile, and I give him an encouraging look.

Xiao Zheng: [coughs] ...l-let’s head over there.

?: How much longer were you planning to pore over the files in the office? If I didn’t call you, would you not eat at all?

??: ...I’m not hungry.

Following Xiao Zheng and entering this spacious and bright location, I hear a familiar voice from in front.

Gavin and Eli are standing not afar off. Seeing a line of people with cameras, their expressions grow slightly surprised.

Minor: Bro Gavin!

MC: This place is...

Xiao Zheng: [coughs] STF’s canteen. People don’t usually eat here though...

Accidentally meeting my eyes directly, Gavin faces away from me slightly.

Gavin: I don’t really come here.

Eli: Of course you don’t. You’re either out on a mission or poring over documents in the office.

It happens to be noon, and only a sparse number of special officers are dining in this spacious and bright canteen hall.

The cameras turn, pointing towards the tidy and clean kitchen and the array of healthy dishes behind the glass window. Xiao Zheng starts his explanation.

Xiao Zheng: All our meals are planned by a nutritionist, who takes into account their nutritional value, and prioritises foods that strengthen the body. As for the taste...

Special Officer B: Don’t you find stir-fried carrots appearing way too frequently?

Special Officer C: I think you should be eating more carrots to strengthen eyesight though. You did too poorly in your last shooting test.

Special Officer B: You... If you’re that capable, don’t get me to sneak you fruit pancakes every morning.

Coincidentally, two special officers walk past us, grumbling while carrying their plates.

Xiao Zheng: ...mm, it isn’t that perfect.

Eli and Gavin are seated at a dining table. Minor hurriedly rushes forward, pulling us over to sit opposite Gavin.

I can't help but look at Gavin's plate, and watch as he frowns while picking out the biter gourd on his plate.

Minor: Bro Gavin, you’ve been working really hard these days. I’ll give my chicken drumstick to you.

Gavin blocks Minor’s chopsticks coldly.

Gavin: No need.

Minor: ...I’ll give it to Boss then.

MC: I don’t need it either. I think it’s good to eat more vegetables - it’s healthy for the body.

I chew on the mediocre-tasting broccoli, concealing a smile as I look at Gavin in front of me.

He purses his lips, then suddenly lifts his chopsticks.

Gavin: I’ll give these to you then.

In the blink of an eye, all the bitter gourd on his plate are brought over to mine. This unexpected action causes everyone to freeze.

A period of silence ensues.

Kiki: ...Boss, I’ll give mine to you then.

Willow: Mine too...

Minor: Mine t--!

MC: ...I can’t finish them all!

Looking at the mountain of bitter gourd on my plate, I suddenly understand what they mean by “asking for trouble”.

[Note] MC uses an idiom here - “自讨苦吃” (“zi tao ku chi”), which literally translates to “asking for bitter things to eat” HAHA

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

In response to numerous requests from the female audience, we have collaborated with the STF to produce a special episode on self-defense.

At the seminar venue, there are no empty seats. A few special officers appear, and they are welcomed with cheers.

The program proceeds in an orderly manner. My line of sight shifts from the surveillance camera, and onto Gavin at the side.

MC: No matter what, I have to thank you for coming down today.

Gavin: The position of commander is temporarily vacant, so I’m handling this matter. This is one of my duties.

His emphasis on the word “duties” doesn’t leave any room for ingratiation at all.

I release a sigh in my heart, a little gloomy as I return my gaze back to the stage.

There are two special officers - one is pretending to be a victim, while the other is pretending to be an assaulter. They are currently demonstrating basic self-defense methods according to requests from the audience.

Special Officer: ...use your elbow to hit the temple of the other party. Using your kneecap to strike the abdomen of the assaulter is also a very effective counter-attack. Like this--

MC: These methods look simple. But when put into practice, they should be quite difficult, right?

Gavin: You actually worry about your safety?

Gavin glances at me. He leans against the back of the chair, speaking to me softly while flipping through pages.

I stand up, sneakily heading over to look at what he’s reading. As expected, it’s a stack of obscure, difficult to understand criminal investigation materials.

MC: I really learnt a little about it.

From his expression, it seems as though he doesn’t quite believe me. I’m suddenly struck with an idea.

MC: Actually, a very skilled and very kind person taught me a little. When I was doing a recording once, I met a stranger who kept pestering me. This very kind person stepped forward and helped me resolve the issue.

[Note] She’s referring to Gavin’s Film Studio Date -clutches chest-

The fingers flipping through the pages pause, but he doesn’t say anything.

MC: He even taught me a few self-defense methods. I always keep them in my heart, and am very grateful to him.

A hint of a ripple finally stirs in Gavin’s tranquil expression. He lifts his head, and our eyes meet.

Gavin: Simply learning these things isn’t enough. When facing different scenarios, you have to adopt different responses.

He sets down the stack of materials on the table, and suddenly stands up. The shadow cast by our height difference makes me instinctively take a step backwards.

Gavin: In these situations, what is tested is one’s vigilance and reaction speed.

MC: !

Gavin’s movements are incredibly fast, and I have absolutely no time to see what he’s doing. Both my hands are restrained by him.

My back is pressed firmly against the cold mirror, and countless similar scenes flash in my mind.

Gavin: Did that person teach you how to handle such a situation?

His voice is levelled, and it rouses me from my thoughts.

I take a deep breath, lifting my head to meet the pair of amber eyes underneath strands of brown coloured hair.

MC: ...no.

Even though he’s using very little strength this time, I can’t break free.

The door to the resting area is pushed open.

Hearing the sound, Gavin is slightly stunned and instinctively releases my hands. But it’s already too late.

The sound of laughter from behind instantly vanishes.

Staff: S-sorry for disturbing... we’ve walked into the wrong room.

MC: So... if I meet assaulters who come from behind me, I should counter-attack like this, right?

I raise my volume, desperately hinting at Gavin to cooperate.

Gavin: ...mm.

As expected, the murmurings behind grow softer.

Staff A: That almost scared me to death. So it was just a live demonstration...

Staff B: That’s right, that’s right. Our producer is also a young female, so it’s normal to learn self-defense skills.

Once they leave, Gavin hurriedly turns around.

After a moment of wordless silence, he speaks.

Gavin: ...I need to return to STF. I’ll be off now.

MC: Oh, okay...

I raise my head, and see Gavin looking as though he wants to speak, but he stops himself. Under the lights, the tips of his ears are slightly flushed.

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

The previous shoots have received very good results. On this clear morning, a team from the company is preparing to go along with the original plan to capture some live training in STF.

However, a sudden Evol criminal incident has disrupted the plan. We adjusted our plans, and after obtaining permission, we’ve decided to film this operation.

On the roof of an unfinished building not afar off, there’s a young teenager who is being held hostage by a middle-aged man wielding a knife.

Passer-by A: I heard that this troublemaking teenager hit someone while street racing, and refused to apologise. Who knew that he had crashed into an absconding Evolver criminal...

Passer-by B: I’ve also heard about this fellow’s gang, which rides motorbikes at a breakneck speed. Sigh, kids these days really don’t learn well. This wouldn’t happen if they studied seriously.

I clear my throat, looking at Gavin who is beside me

MC: Continuing this deadlock isn’t a solution. My Evol might be able to help.

I lower my voice, pointing at the criminal, who doesn’t seem mentally stable. Gavin doesn’t acknowledge what I said, pulling me out of the crowd.

MC: H-how about I just stand at a side and watch? That should be okay, right?

The communication device in his ear sounds. Gavin pauses in his steps, his brows furrowing slightly.

Gavin: ...all right, let him take charge of this sniping mission.

He lifts his head, his gaze sweeping past the dilapidated residential building on the opposite side of the unfinished building.

Only now do I notice that behind the water tank on the roof, there’s a figure with a rifle.

Gavin: He’s a new member.

Gavin sees the incomprehension in my face, and lowers his voice to explain.

Looks like this mission is a test for this new member. And the reason why Gavin is amidst the crowd is to prevent anything unexpected from happening.

Gavin: ...the criminal didn’t notice. Prepare to fire.

The criminal is currently standing at the edge of the unfinished building, agitatedly dishing out conditions to the police. He brings his hostage one step forward.

Even though I’ve seen such a sight so many times, I still hold my breath anxiously.

Gavin: Now!

Once the clear and powerful voice leaves his lips, a gunshot is fired, but it only brushes the criminals shoulder, hitting the wall behind him.

Everyone freezes. Following that, another gunshot sounds.

The criminal releases a miserable cry, clasping at his bleeding thigh as he kneels on the ground.

In just a moment, the special officers concealed in the surroundings hastily keep the Evolver criminal under control, and rescue the hostage.

MC: That’s wonderful, this incident was handled without any mishaps!

The new member returns to the ground, his face deathly pale - as though he’s a completely different person from the heroic wielder of the sniper rifle earlier.

He hobbles over to Gavin, his expression slightly ashamed.

Gavin nods, but doesn’t say anything.

Since this is the special officer’s very first actual combat training, mistakes should be forgiven... But as the Captain, Gavin wouldn’t simply let go of mistakes during a mission, right...

Thoughts drift in my mind, and I subconsciously look in Gavin’s direction. He has walked away, with the new member trailing behind him

Gavin’s face is mostly expressionless. He says something, and the new member lowers his head even more.

The conversation ends quickly.

Gavin: Return to your team.

Newbie: Captain Gavin, I joined the STF because of you!

The new member suddenly flushes, exclaiming loudly.

Gavin: [sighs] ...

Newbie: You’ve always been the role-model I’m striving towards, and the idol I learn from! I’ll definitely reflect deeply on my mistake, and will meet your expectations!

Gavin: Enough!

Gavin cuts him off, his face darkening.

Minor: Hey hey hey, if you want to acknowledge Big Bro, you should be queuing behind me, right?

Minor is standing behind me, muttering indignantly.

Kiki: How’s it going, Boss? Have you got all the materials?

MC: Mm...

I hand over the memory card in my hand to Kiki, but my gaze subconsciously drifts to the new member and Gavin.

Under the evening sun, that new member seems to continue berating himself for his mistake, but his complexion looks slightly better.

After he leaves, I walk over to Gavin, and my curiosity causes me to speak up.

MC: What did Captain Gavin say to him? Is it a convenient time for an interview?

Gavin casts me a light glance, and answers in a casual manner.

Gavin: Ten cross-country training sessions, twenty sniper training sessions.

MC: ...STF is truly the strictest in the world.

Gavin: Such mistakes aren’t allowed during STF missions.

...I can now somewhat understand the thought process of those special officers who hold Gavin in veneration despite being around the same age as he is.

MC: ...looks like the people you have your eye on are really in danger.

Gavin seems to think of something. He looks at me, a minuscule smile suddenly surfacing on his lips.

The glow of sunset brings out the beautiful amber in his eyes. Being watched by him in such a serious manner, my cheeks heat up for an inexplicable reason.

Gavin: You should wrap up your work, and not stay here.

MC: Hold on! I still have a question.

Gavin: What is it?

MC: The condition you asked me to promise you on the first day - what is it?

Gavin is slightly startled. From his reaction, I finally confirm that he has completely forgotten about this matter!

And I’m also more and more convinced that this condition was brought up at the spur of the moment. He deliberately brought it up in the event that I cause some kind of trouble!

MC: Do you not trust me that much!

Gavin suppresses a laugh, and his expression returns to its usual calm.

Gavin: You’re thinking too much.

Gavin: But since you remember it, it will be left to be fulfilled in the future.

Gavin: Mm. From today onwards, you still owe me one condition.

- End -

The program is finally complete. From this program, the working relationship between us and STF has taken a step closer. This opportunity has not only heightened my company’s professionalism, but has also inspired future strategic layouts. We see great potential in working with STF in other areas, and hope to have the chance to develop an even deeper collaboration with them in future.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #fluffy goodness for the soul #featuring mc's crew and gavin's crew!

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spiritmaiden23 · 4 years ago

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RULES: repost, don’t reblog. just pick a muse of yours and fill it out.

MUSE: Zelda

— basics

▸ is your muse tall/short/average? She’s average height, which is 5′3″ however in the world of LOZ where most characters are sizes of trees... she’s probably considered on the short side. In fact, she’s actually shorter than almost all of the cast in SS save for a few characters. Especially since she’s around the same height as manlet king Link. As Hylia in her past life, when in her form that mortals can comprehend, because looking at a god is similar to staring into five suns, she was a seven foot goddess. Even bigger in goddess form but by mortal eyes it just looks like a great ball of light haha!

▸ are they okay with their height? It’d be nice if she could be just a few inches taller in order to get books from the highest shelves. And maybe knock a few taller folk’s pegs down... aside from that, she’s fine with it!! Though the short jokes can get irksome.

▸ what’s their hair like? Very soft, super thick and an over abundance of it. It may seem short in that low pony tail she sports but it actually falls to her waist in terms of length. She takes good care of it and tends to style it in mostly low ponytail or other hair styles that keeps it out of her face. Side note: It is a-ok to play with her hair so long as you don’t mess around too much with it.

▸ do they spend a lot of time on their hair/with their grooming? A normal amount of time is spent on it! Gotta take good care of those goldie locks of hers!

▸ does your muse care about their appearance? Of course! To an extent! First impressions are important and all. She likes looking cute as a button if she can help it, thanks! Honestly though she likes to look and feel cute more for herself rather than others. Nothing wrong with loving to wear pink and other pastel colors and simple jewelry that goes with your outfit and junk!!

▸ does your muse care about what others think about them? Hmm. Yes and no! Not nearly enough to completely change herself for others in order to appear better or anything, Zelda is very much an open book and what you see is what you get with this girl. She’s not going to try hard to make you like her or anything. But well, she has that natural charm going for her so :’)

— preferences

▸ indoors or outdoors? Both? Both! She loves the outdoors but staying inside to read or to sew/knit something is also nice to her! ▸ rain or sunshine? Sunshine ▸ forest or beach? Forest ▸ precious metals or gems? Metals ▸ flowers or perfumes? Flowers ▸ personality or appearance? Personality ▸ being alone or being in a crowd? AH hm, both seem very extreme options haha. Either way she doesn’t mind both settings. ▸ order or anarchy? Order ▸ painful truths or white lies? TEAM PAINFUL TRUTHS AFTER ALL THAT’S HAPPENED IN SS HWEOH, she’ll try to make the delivery gentle as possible but well the truth hurts. ▸ science or magic? Magic ▸ peace or conflict? Peace! ▸ night or day? Day, she’s out like a light once the sun’s down lol ▸ dusk or dawn? The dawn!! ▸ warmth or cold? Warmth, she’s been spoiled by the mild weather in Skyloft so experiencing super cold and bitter winter for the first time was like 8D to D8 in a matter of five seconds. ▸ many acquaintances or a few close friends? Few close friends ▸ reading or playing a game? Both! She’s a bit of a bookworm for sure (I mean all those books in her room) however she also likes to have fun too!

— questionnaire

▸ what are some of your muse’s bad habits? COMBINING WORRYWART TENDENCIES WITH BUSYBODY HABITS IS NEVER A GOOD COMBO BECAUSE GIRL WILL TAKE MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS AND WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY EXCUSES WHATSOEVER IF SHE FEELS SOMEONE’S SLACKING ON SOMETHING. She tends to rush into things if she comes to her own conclusions and will sometimes press forward without thinking much on it. When she steps in like this it’s mostly done from a good place and she only does this with nothing but good intentions. She’s responsible to a fault, putting everything and everyone above her own needs first and foremost. And the girl could learn to be a bit more selfish.

▸ has your muse lost anyone close to them? how has it affected them? :’)))))) It wasn’t enough recalling her past life. But gosh, as Zelda? Impa. Without a shadow of a doubt, she still misses Impa and still regrets not being able to say something as simple as thank you before Impa passes on. Of course, there was more that she’d wanted to say but thank you sums up all of her feelings neatly with a pretty bow and all. Zelda is pretty straightforward with revealing her inner thoughts and this increases tenfold once Impa passes on.

▸ what are some fond memories your muse has? Any time spent with Link and in the skies. She also loved spending time traveling around with Impa because of how much wisdom Impa had given her throughout the journey as well as being an amazing friend.

▸ is it easy for your muse to kill? You’d think she’d be used to the idea considering her past life as Hylia but if she can help, Zelda will never ever kill.

▸ what’s it like when your muse breaks down? Tragic. WAIT I’M REALIZING THAT THIS SOUNDS SO DRAMATIC BUT WAIT HOLD ON LET ME EXPLAIN. I’ve mentioned time and time again that Zelda is someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, she’s very expressive and very in tune with her emotions, having no issue with showing whatever thoughts she has out in the open. So with that in mind, she has no issue with expressing what doesn’t exactly make her happy. Once she breaks down it’s mostly when things are finally over. Whether for better or worse, that’s when she just lets loose and lets the water work go. No crying until the very end and all that... honestly... this question needs more context though hweoh.

▸ is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life? EHHH well, yes and no. She believes in giving chances to everyone, benefit of the doubt and all that jazz. And she likes to believe in the best in others, as such she does like to extend trust to them too. But to trust another with her own literal life is a bit much for her ;v;

▸ what’s your muse like when they’re in love? EVEN MORE DISGUSTINGLY CUTE GOD I can guarantee that any couple with Zel is going to be the new grossly in love couple that’s all lovey dovey aka very cute hours. You’re dating Miss. 💝💘💕🎀🎀uwu girl🍬🌸🌸🌷🍭🌺 herself. You more or less signed up for this. That said, it all ties into with what was said above in that she has no issues with expressing herself as such she will openly display her affection once that whole shy period goes out the window after the Confession™ happens. She loves spending time with S/O the most, doing just about anything! Zelda has lots of love to give and she’ll spoil her S/O with it. I’m sorry for any future grossly cute content u-u

#about.#dash games.#phew i think that's all the dash games i have saved up in my drafts uvu #now.... The Drafts!!#i will be gone because writing is a struggle #I REALLY MIGHT ACTUALLY POST SOME WRITINGS AT THREE AM WHEBAHDJBS

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britesparc · 4 years ago

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Weekend Top Ten #472

Top Ten Suggestions for Future Star Wars Games

Concluding an accidental trilogy of Top Ten lists that feature the word “Star”, here we journey back to a galaxy far, far away. This is also one of those lists that’s been bubbling under for quite a while, since the announcement (feels like ages ago now) that Disney have shopped the Star Wars licence around to a number of developers, and we’ll get future games from companies other than EA. But really it goes back even further, because for me Star Wars and gaming are inexorably linked. I associate my teenage PC gaming phase very closely with Star Wars, because it occurred in the mid-nineties, when Star Wars games were truly ascendent. In a run that I would argue stretched from the release of X-Wing in 1993, right through to Knights of the Old Republic in 2003, it felt like just about every genre was getting a nod from the House of Skywalker, and generally speaking the games were excellent. This time also saw the resurgence of Star Wars as a multimedia powerhouse, with the films getting reissued on video (and in Widescreen!) before the 1997 release of the Special Editions, the subsequent DVD releases, and then in 1999, the beginnings of the Prequel Trilogy with The Phantom Menace. You could argue that that’s when the wheels fell off, because even with the “Han Shot First” controversy and mixed reaction to some of the new effects shots, the late-nineties releases had been warmly received, Star Wars felt cool and exciting all the time, and anticipation was building to fever pitch at the thought of new movies. Amidst the Jar Jar hatred there was, I think, a bit more antipathy towards stories set in the Clone Wars, and although there were still some very good games being released (the first LEGO Star Wars came out in 2005!), the spark of the Golden Age was mostly absent.

Could we be entering a new Golden Age, or at least a Silver Age? Maybe; hopefully! I really, really enjoyed Jedi: Fallen Order and Squadrons, even though neither are perfect and both have plenty of rough edges. Now that the Skywalker Saga is out of the way and the franchise as a whole is spreading out into new areas (check out the number of Disney+ shows on the way), perhaps we’ll see all different facets of the galaxy explored in games too. And that’s what this list is: ten possible games, set in the Star Wars universe, that I think would be cool.

For the most part I’m not trying to invent a whole game; rather, it’s “Star Wars in this genre” or “Star Wars with this hook”. There’s probably an exception or two here and there, but you’ll get the drift. Some of these have been in my mental wishlist for years, from right back to when I first played X-Wing on my mate’s Mac, or when I installed a friend’s copy of Dark Forces from floppy disk (we, er, did that in those days). One of the best things about Star Wars is that it contains multitudes; George Lucas really did create a whole galaxy full of weird side characters, intriguing backstory, and funky-looking locations (aided and abetted, of course, by a bevy of talented collaborators). What corner of the universe couldn’t support a game of some kind?

So here’s to the future, to the newly-rechristened Lucasfilm Games, and to ten titles that could all benefit from beginning with those classic blue words on a black background.

Jedi Padawan RPG: I’ve wanted a game like this for about twenty years: a third-person action-RPG where you play a Padawan. You create your character and build your lightsaber, and then follow your master on missions around the Republic, learning the ways of the Force and developing your character. In a way, Fallen Order has adopted some of these ideas; the fact you only use a lightsaber and Force powers, for instance. But in my mind this is more similar to something like the first Fable, or maybe Mass Effect, where you’d have a hub to return to (the Jedi Temple) and then go off on missions that you could choose. All the while there’d be a plot bubbling up, and an arc to follow, and all sorts of quasi-open-world Jedi shenanigans. It’d be cool if they could make lightsabers feel like the really dangerous one-hit-kill weapons they are in the films, or if you could use them to, y’know, open doors and stuff. Maybe this could be set in the “High Republic” era we’re starting to explore.

Deus Ex-style first-person RPG: I suppose this one could be reductively called “Cyberpunk on Coruscant”, but the idea is you’d play someone – not a Jedi, in my mind – going on quests or solving some kind of mystery, shooting people in first person whilst also upgrading your body and abilities in typical RPG style. I wouldn’t want it to be too dark; I don’t like it when people try to make Star Wars “edgy”. But that Mandalorian or Rogue One tone of seriousness interspersed with Star Wars’ typical melodrama and weirdness would be good. I see your character as a small-time crook or maybe a minor mercenary who by circumstance is forced to take missions for either the Rebels or the Empire (or maybe First Order and Resistance); perhaps mirroring Poe Dameron’s journey from spice smuggler to X-Wing superstar. It’d be cool if there was Fallout-style hit-modelling on characters, and if your arm or whatever got damaged, you could have it replaced with a robot one.

Star Wars meets Elite: I even have a title for this one: “Scoundrel”. Basically, like I say, it’s Elite but in the Star Wars universe; you have a ship, you fly from planet to planet, you trade goods or offer passage, you spend your money on upgrading your ship or buying a new one. You’re Han Solo, basically; hence “Scoundrel”. In my mind it’s set at the dawn of the Rebellion, so you can choose where your allegiances – and your ethics – lie. Take on official Imperial assignments? Help their war effort? Stay neutral but legal? Stay out of the politics, but, y’know, smuggle a little bit? Run a bit of spice? Or do you go all-in and work for the Rebellion – even take part in military action? Maybe it could even run all the way up to Return of the Jedi and give you the chance to fight in the Battle of Endor! C’mon, this one has “hit” written all over it.

Clone Troopers turn-based “Tactics” game: by “Tactics” I mean like X-COM or, well, Gears Tactics; turn-based team combat games. I think of all the groups of military characters most suited to this style, it would be the Clone Troopers; they’re a well-organised military force that functions as part of a team. We know there are loads of types of Troopers, with different uniforms for different jobs, so there’s lots of room for customising your team, as well as experimenting with different classes. Plus if they die there’s more to come, they’re just in vats! Get Temuera Morrison to voice them all for added authenticity.

A point-and-click adventure: this was the first ever idea I had for a Star Wars game, because at the time I was really, really into adventures. This could be anything; I’m not too fussed on the plot. Some kind of mystery obviously lends itself to the format. Whether you play as the same character all the way through or switch protagonists (a common genre trope), I don’t mind. But I want it to be a fairly straightforward, old-fashioned point-and-click game, with no action or QTEs. Make it look like Thimbleweed Park, make it look like Clone Wars or Rebels, make it look as real as possible, it’s all fine; just give me a slow-burn narrative adventure story in the Star Wars universe please.

Lemmings, but with porgs: yeah, there’s nothing more to add to this. Maybe you play one of the Space Nuns, or even Chewbacca, and you have to help out all these crazy porgs? They’re just wandering around, getting into mischief, chewing on the Falcon or playing with a lightsaber, and they’ll kill themselves if you don’t help. That’s it. That’s the game. Lemmings, but with porgs.

Rebel base construction/management game: my template here would be stuff like Evil Genius or Two Point Hospital: real-time games where you build different rooms or services in a given play space. So, the Rebels are constantly darting all over the galaxy, setting up shop temporarily and then evacuating when the Empire comes a-calling; here, you have to kit out the different bases, often to service different aims (a recon base, an aerial support base, a training centre, etc), and in different planetary conditions (think Hoth, Yavin, or Crait). Obviously there are essentials: communication, power, accommodation. Then you can build starship docks, weapons arrays, bacta tanks, astromech services, even Jedi training rooms. Instead of attracting “customers” the idea is to be recruiting new Rebels, so the bigger and better your base, the more troops you have. Maybe there can even be some kind of meta-game where the progress of the war is smoother if your bases are better? But there’d be virtually no combat, apart from maybe shooting probe droids or scaring away wampas. Anyway, I think it sounds cool.

Rebel Commandos cover-shooter: I guess this could also be a Clone Trooper game, but we’ve already had a Clone FPS, and I just invented Clone Tactics up the page a bit, so let’s spread the love. It’s basically Gears of War but with the Rebel Alliance. Think about the Battle of Endor or the Battle of Scarif; teams of well-trained and battle-hardened troopers up against superior odds but still kickin’ ass. Unlike the rent-a-clone nature of the Tactics game, this would be more story-driven, with a small team (four, maybe, as it’s a good number for co-op) who have to infiltrate and/or assault heavily-fortified enemy positions. I think this could be good with a nice narrative behind it, fleshing out the Star Wars universe, and maybe offering a bit of those Rogue One-style shades of grey.

Fallout Shelter-style Jawa Sandcrawler management game: utini! Jawas are great aren’t they? Whether it’s electrocuting Artoo, cheering at podracers, or just eating the shit out of a great big egg, everyone loves a good Jawa. How can you make a game about Jawas? Well, what about if you’re this tribe or group or whatever of Jawas, and you’ve got your own knackered sandcrawler. And as part of the game you have to develop it, tart it up a bit, recruit new bands of Jawas, and then, y’know, rob droids and flog ‘em. Like Fallout Shelter, you have to build and maintain different rooms in the sandcrawler to grow your people and earn more cash from droids, but you’re constrained a little by size. The sandcrawler can’t be expanded too much, and although you could upgrade to bigger ones, you have to make strategic decisions about where to allocate precious space. I see this as being quite low-fi and stylised (bring back Yoda Stories!), and working as a kind of chilled-out time-wasting game on Switch or something.

Homeworld, but in the Clone Wars: and we’re back to the Clone Wars again! But here, we kind of have to, as it’s the only war in the Star Wars wars that features two huge and evenly-matched armadas (Rebels vs Empire and Resistance vs First Order are both very much “scrappy underdogs up against vast organised militaries”). Playing as the Republic or the Separatists, you have to maintain huge fleets of capital ships, support craft, fighters and bombers, and go on missions to attack, defend, or escort. It’s probably the best way to recreate the feeling of that absolutely vast battles we see in the opening minutes of Revenge of the Sith. Maybe an add-on could even give us ground battles too, recreating scenes such as the Battle of Geonosis. Anyway, sounds cool don’t you think?

Incidentally – and speaking of the Star Wars of it all – this is the first week that we’re not watching a War for our family movie night. We’ve done ‘em all! All the episodes of the Skywalker Saga, the two live-action spin-off movies, and even (well, me an’ the eldest) the animated Clone Wars movie. I might do another Top Ten ranking them, based on the kids’ opinions; that’d be interesting. Although – of course – we’ve only got a couple of weeks to wait until the two Ewok movies hit Disney+. What a time to be alive!

Now, the Ewoks – there’s a good idea for a game there…

#top ten #star wars #games #gaming #lucasarts #lucasfilm games #jedi knight #fallen order #squadrons

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bookish-bo · 4 years ago

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A snippet of my consciousness

It seems I am on the cusp of finally leading my life as much as anyone can lead their life. Highschool was a straightforward enough conveyor belt, but the end of the belt is unceremoniously inching closer—well I am inching closer to it; how predictable of me to incorrectly consider myself the object of attraction. Suddenly a day will dawn and I’m supposed to know what to do about it. Could the sun just stay still—another incorrect phrasing; I swear I’m caught up on my 5th grade astronomy. Could the Earth just pause enough for me to breathe without worrying whether that was oxygen well spent? Of course the physical repercussions of a paused Earth… probably not the best conditions for deep breathing. Probably time to start freaking out, or rather, amp up the freakiness. You cannot start something that is already occurring.

I had settled hard into my position on the conveyor belt, constantly moving along as outward forces ensured my progression. Now I am to be shoved from the nest with my foe being not gravity, but finding out the meaning of life. Anyways, that’s the foe my brain decided on conquering during last night’s panic attack. And apparently one mentally ill brain is not fit to surpass the musings of many much wiser predecessors. I move from this conveyor belt, reliable if only in it’s pain, to a world where there are no forces invested in my progression. I’d lie if I said I wasn’t going to miss this predictable life. Yes, I inched by without freedom, but there’s enough to stress over when I was making the bare minimum of decisions. When I stubbornly embraced unhealthy coping mechanisms, I was being rebellious. I was ruining something that was—by all accounts—theirs. But soon, soon I was to be given full responsibility for this joint creation that for so long I had been able to blame completely on them.

Them. How to define them? The world. Society (please read as pronounced by JD in the song before his death in Heathers; if you have no idea what I’m talking about, educate yourself you uncultured—though clearly in better mental health than myself—swine). Morris. I’d rather not think about society or the small sliver of it I have to put up with known as Morris, but my thoughts are constantly drawn to her like a moth to a flame. The flame being, in this case, panic attacks, mood swings, moments of numbness, all that lovely stuff. I’d take a flame any day… of course, I sometimes do.

It annoys me that if I live to look back on this time, I’ll be staring down a moody teenager whose make-up—when attempted—always looked like shit. The make-up is understandable, but why must my thoughts be copy and pasted from every child who ever thought they were grander than the rest because they had been cursed with the habit—obsession—of overthinking. This would make for a horrible book I presume. Everything in my life just happens in my head nowadays, I’ve got enough trauma stored up that I simply reflect and wish I could do something more. And it’s not the smart overthinking, like Sherlock’s ability of deducing, or at least the helpful and somewhat entertaining spiral of thinking ten steps ahead of everything. No, it’s just draining my brain of whatever optimism I started the day with by reiterating everything wrong with me, the world, society.

But how do you stop, when this way of thinking is what you consider keeping track of reality? My reality is understanding that my thoughts are unhealthy, uncalled for, and completely accurate.

I am completely useless.

Yes, my GPA would prove otherwise, but my ability to scam the high school system is moot when it becomes apparent that all these stupid little tests have been in an effort to prepare me to contribute to society. It feels like a cruel trick. To view everything as so utterly unimportant only to be smacked by the realization that not caring about the work your teachers have been begging you to become invested in wasn’t a rebellion against them at all; you were screwing yourself the whole time, idiot. I am completely useless. Morris would certainly agree—though not with so many words. Just a degrading few sprinkled here and there that collect until they cover every single thing I touch.

And the other people? They wouldn’t say I’m useless only because I don’t matter enough to form an opinion of. I’m not wrong. And boo hoo, I sit here and uselessly overthink, full of the conviction that I must have significance but refusing to stoop so low as to join the huddled masses that carve out meaning for themselves in this fake world. Everything feels fake, but why is that a problem anyways? Still, I refuse to “fake it until I make it.” To wear a cheeky smile. To conversate with people who grate upon my nerves—who cares about your nerves you are useless. My uselessness does not, apparently, exempt me from thinking I am better than others. Not better, just separate. And separate by my own doing.

Not my own wishes, but certainly by my own doing.

I refuse to branch out, put on a façade, because I am desperate for people to care about me; the true, ugly, twisted root of myself. That’s not fair, but I’ve been nursed to adulthood by phrases reminding me that life is anything but fair—so why can’t that unfairness ever fall in my favor? I just want people to care about me again, even if their care is as the conveyor belt dutifully caring about my monotonous progression. There’s Morris, but she doesn’t count. She cranks my conveyor belt forwards fueled but hate and misunderstanding. Ugh, a misunderstood teen—can I get any more basic? But being cared about, or to be honest being less basic, is never going to happen again. People die, people kill themselves, and the police will bag their bodies while talking about their lunch plans, only to die themselves while an unrelated conversation takes place above their cooling corpse.

There we have it, I’ve come upon the startling realization that people die. Yes, yes, you’re very smart. Now shut up.

This doesn’t make me special. Nothing makes me special because I am useless. But nothing has intrinsically made me useless. This isn’t a condition that has been thrust upon me. I’m too lazy—too scared, too tired, too full of excuses—to change. Should I remain complacent in my uselessness? It sounds lovely, to be okay with uselessness. But something, some flame within me that hasn’t yet been blown out, insists that I keep yearning for more. Are those the blows from moth wings that cause this flame to flicker? The flame isn’t enough to excite change, let alone growth, but it is enough to fuel regret over every minute I waste reflecting. The billions of neurons making up my brain can do the job of a mirror, probably akin to the scratched up kind found in dollar store make-up kits. Great.

The predicament, it seems, is whether I am a moth that, if it were to just set its sights higher, would flutter off after the moon, or if I am the sputtering flame destined to devouring moths.

#writing #overthinking #help #depression

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haillenarte · 6 years ago

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the swallow’s compass;

Here are translations of various Hingan signs, both within Kugane and The Swallow’s Compass.

...That’s the simple explanation, anyway. The full post below involved a lot more research than I expected, but I don’t really know how else I should describe what I’m doing here. I imagine that this will be fairly interesting to those loremongers with a special interest in Doma and Hingan culture, so if you really like Kugane, or you write a Doman character or something, come on in!

...That said, now I have no idea where I should begin.

I guess I’ll start from the top. I’m not sure if this is widely-known information within the “Western” FFXIV fandom, so forgive me if I’m parroting things that you already know, but basically, the the signage in Kugane and Doma utilizes a “Hingan alphabet” that is essentially a substitution cipher for Japanese hiragana. You know how Eorzean works, right? With the Eorzean signage in the game, the letters of the Eorzean alphabet are substitutes for English letters... so with Doman signage, the characters in the Hingan alphabet are substitutes for Japanese characters.

If you can read hiragana, you can check it out yourself at this fansite here.

I should note that the Japanese version of FFXIV doesn’t really utilize the concepts of “Doman” and “Hingan” the way that the English version does, so Japanese fans refer to the “Hingan alphabet” as クガネ文字、 or “Kugane characters.” I should also note that it seems straightforward enough until you realize that a lot of the in-game signage is highly stylized, so reading it is a lot harder than you’d think, sometimes...

Let’s take a look at the sign outside the Shiokaze Hostelry, shall we?

Broken down — and reading vertically from right to left, of course — the characters here read:

youkoso Kugane e

Welcome to Kugane.

Here’s another example: the banners in the Sekiseigumi Barracks! What do they say? Well... they’re not very interesting, actually. This just says:

Kugane Sekiseigumi

At least they’re proud of themselves...

I considered photographing and documenting every instance of Hingan writing that I could find, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of it is very self-explanatory: the sign outside of the Bokairo Inn, for example, just says Boukaisen, advertising the Bokaisen Hot Springs. (By the way, I believe the localization team chose to go with short-vowel romanizations to encourage correct pronunciations among non-Japanese players, so that’s why there’s an extra vowel there.) So it wouldn’t have been very interesting for me to go around taking pictures of every single sign I could find...

One thing in Kugane I do find really interesting, however, is the sign just outside of the Mujikoza theater!

This sign is actually an advertisement for the actors at Mujikoza:

enja (”Performers”)

Maibito Shiranami Narita Rakuyou Gakunin Fuuran

Gakunin Yabusame Narita Ransetsu Narita Yachiyo Maibito Kikusui

I am not sure if these are intended to be surnames or titles. My assumption is that they are titles, because Gakunin is probably 楽人、or musician, whereas Maibito probably means 舞人、or dancer. Unfortunately, I can’t figure out what “Narita” means in this context, because it definitely isn’t the airport. My guess is that it might be a yagou — a stage name, or acting-house name, which you can read about here.

Note that the actors again receive top billing on the roof of the building, where the sign reads:

SHIRANAMI RAKUYOU FUURAN

Yabusame Ransetsu Yachiyo Kikusui

Shiranami, Rakuyou, and Fuuran must be really popular?!

I’ve got one more surprise from Kugane to show you all, but before we get to that, let’s dive into the Hingan text in The Swallow’s Compass.

First, a little background information: The Swallow’s Compass is, in Japanese, called 風水霊殿ガンエン廟 — very literally, “feng shui temple, gan-en mausoleum,” but since the localization has decided to translate feng shui as geomancy, I think the Japanese dungeon title is best rendered “The Palace of Geomancy: Ganen’s Tomb.”

The English description of the dungeon elaborates on this somewhat:

Enshrined within this tomb, his likeness carved on an imposing scale into the cliffside, is the person of Ganen, the great general who united the warring clans of Yanxia to arise as the first king of Doma. A skilled swordsman and mage both, he is credited as the founding father of Doman geomancy.

Anyway, with that background knowledge, let’s dive right into the signage in The Swallow’s Compass. Quite a lot of it is, um, pretty cool, but really very redundant in my opinion — you know, it’s a million different lines about earth and wind and water — so I have to admit I’m glazing over some of it...

Just imagine a lot of stuff like this...

hagukumutsuchi soil nurtures

megurumizu water circulates

hakobukaze wind carries

Notably, this tablet just past the first boss is a quote attributed to Ganen himself:

kaze wo shirite mizu wo seishi chi wo osamuru ganen-ou

Know the wind Contain the water Heal the earth — King Ganen

The tablet to the right of King Ganen’s reads as follows:

mu ni naru kawa ryu ni naru yama yansa no chi doma to nasu

As the river turns to nothing And the mountain becomes a dragon Does the land of Yanxia Form the nation of Doma

Lastly — I have not included screenshots of every single stone, because it would just be too many pictures that all basically look the same — two famous Chinese poems are quoted throughout the dungeon! I won’t get into the whole history of kanshi poetry and the tradition of Chinese poetry in Japanese literature, but suffice it to say it’s a personal favorite subject of mine.

The Swallow’s Compass quotes two lines from “In the Mountains on a Summer Day” by Li Bai, for which I have enclosed two translations (not by me, of course):

夏日山中李白

懒摇白羽扇裸袒青林中脱巾挂石壁露顶洒松风

In the Mountains on a Summer Day, by Li Bai trans. Arthur Waley, 1919

Gently I stir a white feather fan, With open shirt sitting in a green wood. I take off my cap and hang it on a jutting stone; A wind from the pine-trees trickles on my bare head.

A Summer Day in the Mountains, by Li Bai trans. Andrew W.F. Wong, 2014

Too lazy to wave my fan of white plumes; Rather, go naked, ‘neath the greenwood trees, My headcloth undone, on a stone wall hung, Idling, bare-headed, in the pine-filled breeze.

Peresonally, I think Wong’s translation is better by far, and more ambitious with the rhyme scheme and structure, but Waley’s is more well-known, as you might imagine. Oh, and I’ve italicized the lines that are quoted in FFXIV! The rest of the poem isn’t in the dungeon, but it seems silly to only enclose a part of it here.

The Swallow’s Compass also quotes another poem by the master of masters, Du Fu. There are many translations of Du Fu’s “Spring Prospect,” but here’s one that I liked:

春望杜甫

国破山河在城春草木深感时花溅泪恨别鸟惊心烽火连三月家书抵万金白头搔更短浑欲不胜簪

Spring Prospect, by Du Fu trans. John Tarrant, 2014

The nation is broken – mountains and rivers remain. Spring comes to the city overgrown with grass and trees.

Feeling the time – flowers weep, hating captivity – bird calls pierce the heart.

The war beacons have burned for three months now and I’d give ten thousand pieces of gold for a letter from home.

I’ve torn my white hair till it’s so thin it almost won’t hold a hatpin.

With these poems in mind, I’m coming back to the final sign from Kugane that I saved for last...

The wall scroll in Hancock’s office reads:

saihi akatsuki ni izureba shimoyuki no gotoshi

This, too, is a quote from a kanshi poem, but this poet isn’t very well known at all. Instead of another big-name poet like Li Bai or Du Fu, someone on the dev team decided to quote “Keirinsou Zatsuei” by Hirose Tansou — a really very obscure poet better known for being an egalitarian educator.

...Since no English translation of this particular poem existed, I decided to translate it myself. This involved a lot of personal research and time, so I wound up translating a small selection of Hirose’s poetry as the final project for one of my translation classes. I considered submitting my collection of Hirose’s poetry for publication somewhere, but in the end, well... I don’t know, I mean, who would care except for FFXIV players?

The poem itself is a celebration of friendships forged during one’s schooling years. I have enclosed a direct translation and a more structured, syllabic, rhyming translation:

桂林荘雑詠広瀬淡窓

幾人負笈自西東両筑双肥前後豊花��満簾春昼永書声断続響房書

休道他郷多苦辛同袍有友自相親柴扉暁出霜如雪君汲川流我拾薪

遙思白髪倚門情宦学三年業未成一夜秋風揺老樹孤窓欹枕客心驚

長鋏帰来故国春時時務払簡編塵君看白首無名者曾是談経奪席人

Song of the Cinnamon Grove, by Hirose Tansou trans. haillenarte, 2018

(direct translation)

From east and west we travel, carrying our book-boxes, through the plains of Ryōchiku — as fertile and lush as ever. The shadows of the flowers shield us from the sun as intermittent voices rebound and resonate in clusters of sound.

We shall not rest in foreign lands with bitter feelings in our hearts when our brothers here, our comrades-in-arms, will soon become our dearest friends. As we leave the house at dawn, beneath the hoarfrost so like snow, you will draw our water, and I will collect our firewood.

Distantly, I think of gray hair, and my heart presses against the gates — my third year at civil service school, and my work isn’t finished. In the evening, an autumn breeze shakes the ancient trees, and I rise from my solitary pillow, trembling with wanderlust.

And at last, the sweet return, the glorious springtime of our homelands! The time has passed, our work is cleared, and our books are layered in dust. With your hair grown white, you would be nameless to me but for the hours we have passed debating the sutras, side by side.

Song of the Cinnamon Grove, by Hirose Tansou trans. haillenarte, 2018

(structured translation, departs from original)

From east and west, we walk with burdens through the fields of Ryōchiku. The shadows of the flowers shade us as I talk and walk with you.

We shall not rest in foreign lands with bitter feelings in our hearts when we have friends to stand beside us in our study of the arts. And as we leave the house at dawn ‘neath frozen dew that looks like snow ‘tis you for whom I tend the fire, you for whom I make it glow.

As I recall the greying hairs my mother and my father wear, I long to travel to my home, where perhaps I will see them there. Beyond these years of solemn schooling, I have work that must be done, but I rise from my lonely pillow, thinking of the rising sun.

And after all of this is over, someday we will return home with dusty books and whiter hair and fewer, fewer lands to roam; And you would have no name to me but for the time we spent in class, Arguing over the sutras, laughing as we lay in grass.

Why do I think the dev team decided to quote this particular poem? Well... read it to yourself. Doesn’t it remind you of a certain scene, from a certain patch, from another expansion, long, long ago...?

#kugane #ffxiv #ff14 #stormblood

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morkmywords · 7 years ago

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Not Really a Cinderella Story | Royalty au | Exo | Sehun | Part 1

Masterlist | Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 [FINAL]

Length: 5.1k

Note: This sucks a lot partly because I didn’t edit and partly because I'm bad at writing. This is the first time I have written in this style but practice makes perfect right:)

Summary: When a strange string of not so great events somehow land you a job at the palace punching the wrong people can be not so great.

The sunlight streaming through the window of your new home broke through your sleep forcing you to wake up. It was the first day of your new job that you just got yesterday but the craziest thing to you is how you acquired said job.

----

a month prior

your life used to be happy, keyword used too. up until about a month ago your days passed by happily, now obviously they still had their ups and downs but it was never as bad as this. About a month ago you lost the things you held most dear to you, your parents. A fire, that's how they left you, a fire in the small cottage you called your home. It was the middle of the night, and you were out walking the paths through the forest that you knew like the back of your hand ever since you started exploring when you couldn't sleep, they were sleeping while the blaze started and they couldn't escape. You didn't even find out until the house was nothing more than a pile of ashes.

You burst out of the trees after seeing a cloud of smoke rising above the horizon, the glow from the blazing fire felt like it blinded you as you stood there like a statue for what seemed like hours but in reality, it was only mere moments. As soon as you broke out of your daze you rushed to help other members of your town who were awake put out the fire. with tears streaming down your face, you heaved buckets of water onto the fire with a desperate urgency. Praying to all the gods you knew of you wished your parents would make it out alive, but it was no use.

The fire was out but there was nothing left, your house, your parents, and your entire life up until this point was a pile of ashes and rubble on the ground. The townspeople tried to console you but it was no use, everything you know had been ripped away from you and the only thought going through your head was, 'I should have been there too,' Funnily enough after a day no more tears leaked from your eyes, during that day you said nothing and ate nothing, you only thought about what happened and through those twenty-four hours you came to a realization.

There was absolutely nothing you could have done to stop this from happening.

At first, all you thought about was if you had been there you could have stopped this but you weren't there. Instead of letting this drag you into some sort of sad episode you thought about it some more. Things happen and there's no way you can go back and change them so you have to make the best of the situation. Your parents would want you to keep living and not turn into a crazy had wracked with grief. So that's what you did, you kept on living.

You let yourself grieve for a week while you waited to go live with your aunt and uncle. During the time you hardly spoke to anyone and lots of people came by to drop off gifts like food and old clothes seeing as all your old clothes were gone with the fire. Your aunt was your dad's sister, you never really met her and as far as you knew they were never close. She lived in the city with her two sons, her husband died a couple of years ago and that was really all you knew about them. You'd hoped they would be happy to take you but boy were you wrong. When they first arrived she was rude and abrasive insulting everything about you, the village you lived in, and the family you were staying with. As you were getting ready to leave for the carriage ride your departure was filled with many looks of pity and tear-filled goodbyes. Boy was this going to be a long carriage ride.

Once you got there it was a whole different story. The capital city was extremely different from the small town you came from, the streets were dirty and dimly lit, buildings were so squished together they climbed upward like vines trying to find the most space. The cramped townhouse they lived in was small, musty, and definitely needed a good cleaning. It wasn't the Jeweled district where the palace and all the rich lived but it wasn't the Copper district, or the slums as people like to call, it either. All the rooms were occupied so you were forced to live in the attic which was basically like a closet with a layer of dust coating the floor and patches of mould covering the walls, it was gross but you were prepared to make the best out of the situation. Her sons were a whole different story though, they ridiculed you, making fun of your used clothes, hair, or even your face and basically treated you like a sale forcing you to clean and do other household chores.

You told yourself you would get used to it, so you tried to put up with your aunt's never-ending screeching and her sons constant bullying by not giving a reaction and hoping they get bored, but that just seemed to egg them on. They started hitting you, at first it was just a few slaps but then it morphed into things like tying you up and using you like a punching bag, throwing plates and other various kitchen utensils, they even used knives sometimes. It was the last straw, you'd finally had enough so you left. Packing your few measly belongings you stole a loaf of bread and escaped into the night.

----

1 day prior

Now that you think about it leaving that house with only a loaf of bread a picture of your parents, a book, a candle, and two sets of clothes might not have been the best idea but it was better than enduring their abuse for any longer. Now you were stuck wandering the market district looking for a job. You wandered around looking for advertisements for jobs and when that didn't work out you started asking if anyone needed a maid seeing as that was what you had been doing for the past month. You asked from the early morning until late at night with only a small break for a lunch of half of the loaf of bread. it was around nine at night and the only people out were those going to the various bars and those leaving them whether or not they had someone with them. Unfortunately, you ran into some people in a very embarrassing state so you quickly apologized and ran off wishing you could scratch your eyes out and led you here. You were wandering around looking for a relatively decent looking alley to sleep in and so far you were having no luck. You heard a scuffling coming from behind you and being the idiot you are you turned around to investigate, ready for a fight. To your surprise it was a little girl who must've been no older than 7, she looked terrified and starving so you motherly instincts kicked in. You offered her the leftovers of your bread that would have lasted you another day but she obviously needed it more. After eating the whole loaf of bread in what seemed like 3 bites she muttered a quick thank you and ran off again. sighing as you got back up from your crouched position you felt the presence of someone behind you. You spun on your heel, the skirt of your dress and clock gathering around you only to be met with the face of a shocked old lady that seemed to be dressed in somewhat regular clothes.

"Hello?" she asked with a calm mask returning to her face. Flustered, you replied with a muffled "Hello."

"Were you the one saying you would work as a maid earlier in the Market District?" she asked with some emotion returning to her face and voice. _

"yes"

"Good, will you come work at the palace, you will receive fair wages, room and board, and an honest job if you come. of course, the work will be hard so you'll need to be prepared for that," she explained once you answered her previous question.

"W-w-wait, the PALACE, you mean THE palace where the royal family lives palace????" you stuttered out obviously a little shocked by her words _

"yes" she replied shortly with a quizzical look on her face

"You want me to work for the royal family, as a maid, at the palace?" you replied, a little shocked was an understatement now.

She tilted her head to the side, another degree of questioning crosses her face and she asks "yes, do you have a problem with that?"

"N-n-no," You leaned forward urgency flowing through your veins "I would love to come work at the palace."

"Good, the follow me," she said as she turned and brusquely walking down the street.

You followed after her, walking as fast as you could without running to try and catch up with her.

And now you're here, getting ready for your first day working as a maid at the palace. When you had arrived last night everyone was already asleep except for the kitchen staff who were preparing the meal for tomorrow. The old lady introduced herself as Kosho and explained to you that she was head of the maid and kitchen staff for the palace. You were told since you just started you would have more duties than the other maids especially since they were low on staff members. Starting in the morning at dawn you would wash breakfast dishes, after that you would head to the rooms of officials and clean them until lunch, at 11 you would help with lunch prep in the kitchen and wash dishes, after that you would dust, sweep, and help with laundry if needed, once supper started you got a break to eat and rest until you went to sleep, unless of course you were called upon.

While you were eating breakfast before going to clean Kosho gave you a crash course on proper etiquette and dos and don'ts of being a maid. After all the dishes were done and your hands all wrinkly like a dried prune you were taught how to properly clean a room and you were sent off on your own.

The cleaning was pretty easy and straightforward, although some officials left you special instructions which you happily followed. You ran into a few others of the palace staff and you happily introduced yourself and even gained a few friends. The work was hard but you enjoyed it, the head chef in the kitchen was an older fellow who liked to crack bad jokes and had a long silver beard and milky blue eyes. His name was Seon but he let you call him Uncle Seon seeing as he took an immediate liking to you when on your first day of kitchen duty you were the only one to laugh at his lame jokes. You also became close friends with a squire named Konu and his twin sister Mari who worked in the stables.

You were happy here, happier than you ever were with your aunt and you couldn't ask for more. Although you still were washed over with sadness at times your friends were quick to try and cheer you up, Kosho with her motherly love, Seon with his pecan tarts that you absolutely adored, Mari with her soft smiles and horses, and Konu with his sassy remarks and practical jokes. You had a family here, Kosho let you buy a goldfish with your wages whom you promptly named Glenn and love with all your heart.

----

Your night was plagued with bad dreams of fires as the faces of your aunt and cousins floated through your mind. This was a frequent happening and your roommates had grown used to your screams and cries, some were even sympathetic from having come from a not so great background themselves. Tonight seemed worse than usual though, you writhed in imaginary pains, cries escaping your mouth until you wake up breathing heavily as tears rolled down your face. Quickly sitting up you were thankful for the style of the nightgown you were provided with. The high neck, long sleeves, and length covered all the scars that littered your body from your cousins torture. you shuddered at the memory, pulling down the sleeves of the nightgown to cover your hands. You quickly changed into your uniform as you would most likely be awake until the start of your shift. Making sure everything was covered you headed out to roam the halls and palace grounds until the start of your shift

You wandered the halls lost in your own thought as usual when you couldn't sleep you wandered. Most of the night staff knew your strange habits and left you alone most of the time occasionally you would chat with them seeing as standing guard could be pretty boring. Tonight was different though, you stumbled around the halls feeling feverish and short of breath, you just needed fresh air. Through you foggy mind you seemed to find the way to the garden bursting through the doors and immediately inhaling the cool night air. Your whole body calmed as you felt the breeze tickle your skin and the scent of the forest surrounded you. With a sigh, you wandered around the garden calming your senses and your mind. You claimed a spot by the pond cushioned by the soft moss and began humming a tune, a lullaby your parent would use to sing you to sleep.

A small person sat down beside you, startled you stiffened and froze. The girl sighed and turned to you, she had long straight black hair, freckles dotted her nose, but her most striking feature was her eyes that seemed to peer into your soul reading you like a book. Your stay at the palace had only been about a month but you had never seen this girl before. You inhaled sharply as you met her intense gaze, pulling down your sleeves unconsciously.

"Please keep singing," she whispered quietly "I really like the melody, it's calming."

You immediately relaxed and releasing the tension in your muscles and looking at the girl. She gave you a small smile and you returned it, she seemed to take this as an invitation to scoot closer to you and join you on the soft moss. You closed your eyes and began to hum the familiar tune, as you progressed you started letting the words flow gently out of your mouth as well. You could see the girl's eyelids getting heavy and so when she dropped her head onto your shoulder it came as no surprise to you. as you finished the song the girl cuddled up closer to you softly snoring, she couldn't be more than a year younger than you, so you let her rest on your shoulder until dawn.

As the sun rose from behind the mountains you softly lifted the girl's head from your shoulder and woke her gently.she rubbed her eyes and stretched stiff from the position she was previously in.

"we should head back inside, it's morning," you whispered trying to wake her from her sheeplike state.

"mmhmm" was her only reply as she tried to stand, wobbling on her unsteady legs. You stuck out a hand to keep her from toppling over as you two headed back inside. You turned to head to the kitchen praying you weren't late, a hand shot out and grabbed our wrist.

"wait.." the girl said waiting for you to turn around. You whirled around anxious to get your wrist out of her grasp before the scars were exposed.

"what is your name?" she asked as she released your hand. Still shaken up from her grabbing your wrist you blurted out "Y/N." as quickly as you could before turning and running to the kitchen.

You rushed through the kitchen doors almost knocking a kitchen hand to the ground, apologizing quickly you hurried to find something to do before anyone noticed your absence. Dipping your hands in the lukewarm water you began scrubbing the pot caked with the remnants of porridge burnt onto the bottom, thoughts about the mysterious girl drifting through our head. Nobody noticed her absence and the rest of the breakfast run passed in a bustle of bodies brushing past each other and flour in the air. Once the rush had seemed to die down you went back to your room to change your clothes and feed Glenn. After you finished all your business you slipped back into the kitchen to see if you could nab yourself a leftover pastry or an apple. Brushing past the cooks who were leaving you made your way into the kitchen, on the hunt for something to eat when a hand clamped down on your shoulder and you were met with Kosho's accusing glare.

"How DiD YoU MEEt ThE PRINCESS!" she screeched at you. You flinched back away from her shrill yelling, backing up into a cupboard shattering a glass jar of spices onto the floor.

Softening her gaze and tone she continued, "The princess has asked for you specifically to be her new handmaiden."

"The p-p-princess?" you asked confused by what she meant, "I have never met the princess?"

"Then how did the princess ask for you, specifically, by name?"

"I really don't know," you answered and your thoughts drifted back to the mystery girl in the garden, her clothes looked expensive and she did have somewhat of a royal feel to her...

Your eyes widened in realization, Kosho seeming to catch on quickly demanded when you met her and most importantly how you convinced her to demand you become her new handmaiden. so you began your story

"Last night I had a nightmare, I couldn't fall back asleep so I went to wander the garden," you told her leaving out the severity of the situation last night, "while I was in the garden I began humming the tune of a lullaby my parents used to sing to me when I was younger," you smiled fondly at the memory and continued on, "She came up behind me and startled me, she asked me to continue singing so I did. She fell asleep on my shoulder until dawn when I woke her up and we headed back inside."

"YOU met THE PRINCESS!!" Seon exclaimed sitting down on the stool next to Kosho looking at you with interest.

"Yes... and why is that such a big deal," you asked still confused by the situation

"The princess is hardly ever seen, her parents keep her locked up away from the eyes of the public except on formal occasions, even the staff hardly see her."

"really?"

"yes they say she is entrancingly beautiful and had many suitors but the king and queen turned them all down."

"why?"

"Well, the queen isn't the mother of the princess or the two princes, she married the king after the old queen died, she has a hatred for the princess because she resembles her mother so much and the old queen still has the king's heart."

"oh." was all you let out "how come I didn't know this?"

"Well," Kosho joined in, "People don't really talk about it anymore, trying not to get on the queen's bad side seeing as she has so much power."

you replied with "ok I'll make sure not to try and get her bad side but why does she princess want me to be her handmaiden?"

"I don't know, she didn't tell me any detail but we should get going now so we're not late," said Kosho grabbing your hand and leading you out of the kitchen. You waved goodbye to Seon as he shouted a short good luck and you were off to meet the princess.

----

Kosho ushered you into the princess's private sitting room assuring you she would be waiting for you outside, and you took a deep breath and stepped inside. You saw her perched on a cream coloured sofa dress perfectly fluffed reading a book, you dropped down into a clumsy curtsy losing your balance and landing on your butt sprayed across the floor. A flush of embarrassment covered your cheeks hiding your face behind your hair as you heard her little heels clattering against the floor as she rushed over to you. You looked up to see a kind-hearted smile on her face as she sicks out a hand to help you up, you returned her warm smile to the best of your ability as she pulled you into a standing position.

"Y/N!!" she exclaimed and pulled you into a tight hug. You stiffened as a reflex totally unprepared but after a few seconds you willed your body to relax and you melted into her cheerful embrace loving the affection. she held you back at arm's length and happily held your hands.

"I'm so happy your here." she told you in-between giggles as she held your hand " I needed a new handmaiden ever since my old one left to care for her family and when I met you in the garden I immediately knew we would be easy friends." You felt her sunshine like attitude lift your spirit and replied with an almost equally cheery " thank you, your highness, I'm so glad you wanted me here."

"please no 'your highness' it makes me feel old," she said crinkly her nose as you both burst into a fit of giggles.

"what should I call you then?" you asked wiggling your eyebrows.

"Ji-Yoon"

"Princess Ji-Yoon?"

"noooooo." she let out a whine, "just Ji-Yoon."

"Ok, Ji-Yoon I'm y/n." you said sticking out your hand "want to be friends?"

"of course y/n," she replied shaking your hand, "friends forever."

And just like that, you found another friend, who just happened to be the princess of your country.

----

You quickly emerged from the room to tell Kosho everything was all right and you both went back to your respective duties. You spent the next couple of hours talking with Ji-Yoon and getting to know each other, you found out that you two happened to have a lot in common. You didn't tell her about what happened to you and carefully avoided questions about your past but it was ok other than that. At some point during the day, you both realized you were starving and that you had missed lunch, you both headed to the kitchen trying to find somewhat of a late lunch not realizing you were actually with the princess many jaws dropped when you opened the door. There was a chorus of clattering dishes, rushed curtsies, bows, and 'your highnesses. Ji-Yoon quickly asked them to continue working and they did without a second thought, a laugh slipped past your composure at the face of one kitchen boy whose jaw dropped and eyes seemed to bug out of his head before he went back to work.

you sauntered around the counter dragging Ji-Yoon behind you and tapped Seon on the shoulder, startling him before he turned around with a smile and greeted you both.

"So, Seon, the genius cook of the castle, what's on the menu today?" you teased him.

With a mischievous glint in his eye, he replied "well for the two most beautiful young ladies in the castle how about pumpkin soup and a fresh loaf of bread"

"that sounds delicious right now." the princess sighed stomach following with a grumble and you all burst out laughing.

While you were waiting for lunch you introduced her to all your friends I the kitchen and she charmed them all with her soft smile and soothing voice. After you, two were stuffed to the brim and you couldn't possibly eat anymore you wandered to the library. One thing in common you two had was the love of books, becoming infatuated with plots and characters is how you would spend your entire life if you could, but Ji-Yoon, on the other hand, loved the nonfiction books and the intrigue of learning new things with each turn of the page. Once Ji-Yoon found a nice book to read she took a seat in a plush armchair, she assured you she was fine a set you off to let you explore the library.

From the moment you stepped into the library you were enchanted with the tall arches lined with books that hold up the high mural covered ceilings, the rows upon rows of brightly bound books holding stories between the pages each one different from the next, and the large windows lining one wall giving a perfect view of the forest and mountains beyond, the whole place felt magical like it stepped right out of a dream. You wandered through the aisles of books, searching for something that sparked your interest, but nothing caught your eye. After stumbling through the back aisles of the library you almost ran into a ladder, curious you investigated further and found that it led to a secret third floor. Unsure of what to do you mulled over whether you should explore further or return to the princess, your adventurous side got the best of you as you decided to continue climbing almost fully confident the princess would be fine on her own.

The ladder led up to a musty room lined floor to ceiling with books and covered in cobwebs and dust. The room seemed to leak the scent of books it filling your every sense. Trapped in your own world of exploring books that must have been hundreds of years old you failed to realize that another person was also with you in the small room.

A hand came down upon your shoulder startling you, in your panic, your fight or flight sentences kicked in and you whirled around knocking the handoff your shoulder and punching the mysterious person, who seemed to be a man, in the face as hard as you could. He fell to the floor with a loud thud and let out a moan of pain, realizing what you had done you immediately stooped down to asses the damage you had done.

"I'm so sorry, are-are you okay, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to." was the jumble of words that left your mouth. he abruptly sat up shoving you off of him resulting in you knocking your head against the shelf behind you. You both sat the rubbing you respective wounds until your curiosity finally got the better of you and you looked up to investigate the mysterious stranger.

You were previously correct he was, in fact, a man, his strong dark eyebrows framed his chocolate coloured eyes. A layer of shady dark hair fell over his eyes as he shook his head and stood up too quickly and ended up falling back down again. You offered a hand as you pulled yourself up but he just brushed it away and left you staring in shock at the beautiful man in front of you.

"what are you staring at?" he announced breaking you out of your trance. He was now standing in front of you and you could see his full height, he was tall but you were too so the height difference wasn't that much but he would easily tower over someone the size of Ji-Yoon.

"n-n-n-nothing." you stammered out.

He scoffed at you with a smirk adorning his face, you felt a surge of annoyance rush into you at his behaviour.

"I apologized for knocking you over so there's no need to act all high and mighty." you spit out unsure of where that surge of confidence came from.

A look of amusement became a mask on his face, he let out a small chuckle before walking past you, successfully pushing you into a row of shelves, he walked away farther into the rows of shelves. Standing back up you brush yourself off and picked up your book as you walked back to the ladder, trying your best to climb down the ladder one handed you almost landed on the floor again but luckily you caught yourself. Back on the main floor, you traversed the winding aisles trying to find your way back to the princess muttering to yourself 'what was his deal I did nothing wrong and he had to act like such a...total.......JERK!' You were brought out of your angry mutterings by the princess rounding the corner and running to you and pulling you into a tight hug.

----

"Where were you, you were gone for so long I thought you were lost!!!!" she exclaimed demanding answers.

Deciding to make an excuse up on the spot so you wouldn't have to tell her about the secret room or the mysterious stranger you answered "you know, just got so caught up in all the books." cursing yourself for the suspicious sound of your voice. She gave you a smile and forgot about it as she started telling you about the book she was reading about gardening. You were listening intently to the fountain of knowledge coming out of her mouth when someone rounded the corner. You scoffed as you saw the man from earlier rounding the corner nose stuck in a book. Ji-Yoon turned around interested in what you were looking at, as soon s she saw him she broke into a run, heels echoing against the marble as she pulled the man into a hug.

You stood there mouth hanging open looking like an idiot, baffled at what you saw you stood there staring, again. When the princess let go of her tight grip on him she dragged him over to you.

"this is my new handmaiden, y/n." she introduced you to the man.

"y/n this is my brother," she said smiling as she turned to you, "Prince Sehun."

"P-p-p-prince Sehun." you shrieked in disbelief and that stupid smirk returned to his face. You were embarrassed but also furious weren't princes supposed to act like gentlemen so why was he acting like such an uptight jerk.

"what, do you two know each other?" Ji-Yoon asked obviously confused by your sudden outburst. But you didn't answer and just kept your burning glare trained on the prince who was staring straight back at you amusement dancing across his features.

Note: I know this sucked:)

#exo #exo k #exo m #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic recs #exo au #exo scenarios #exo scenario #exo scenario au #exo sehun #oh sehun #sehun #exo royalty au #exo royal au

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Global Warming Truth or Fiction - You Decide

International Warming Truth or Fiction

Worldwide Warming Reality or Fiction is the question we are mosting likely to try as well as resolve today. There are various opinions concerning this subject and each has simply as several point of views to it further making complex the concern. If you are asking yourself what is global warming, do not stress we will certainly get to that. Now while it is our task to offer you with an Un-biased explore the topic, we specify out and right that we think practically speaking man is having an adverse result on the setting, mostly through Co2 Emissions. In our viewpoint the real question need to be just how much are we affecting it, yet that is next to the factor. International Warming Reality or Fiction - Right Here Are The Facts! So what is International warming? As a whole definition, it is essentially the outcome of our all-natural atmosphere decomposing. This decay is supposed to be occurring for a variety of factors; most generally associated with the accumulation of Co2 in our atmosphere. Now let's review the realities of the case as well as after that we can enter into the fiction commonly connected with the principle of the planet obtaining warmer. The Worldwide Warming Realities are quite clear in their interpretation, but let's review them anyway for you to make up your mind on the subject of International Warming Reality or Fiction! It is vital not to be distracted with International Warming Fiction when trying to make an educated determination one means or one more, so here are the facts of the instance. Truth # 1 - The Combustion Engine Considering that the dawn of the 20th century guy has continually pumped Co2 Emissions right into the skies through burning type energy generation. It is approximated that humanity has actually added 1 component of every 10,000 parts of CO2 in the atmosphere in the past 250 years. The invention of the flammable engine has actually unquestionably offered us well, nevertheless with new concepts of power generation being played with daily we may no longer have a need for mass burning across the world in time ahead. What is Worldwide Warming when it comes to Co2 buildup? Co2 is normally in our environment, however nature was very certain in her amounts of particular chemicals. The Co2 from mans burning engine is adding to developed pockets of gas in our ambience; which are in turn weakening our ozone. There are really a great deal of Worldwide Warming Facts, but also for now let's continue with this one. The main problem that researcher are having with making an equivalent to the infamous burning engine is relating its power usage duration. Up until we solve that issue we are stuck to the great old fashion muscle mass that fossil gas offer. Are you any kind of closer now to responding to the concern International Warming Fact or Fiction? Fact # 2 - The Industrial Revolution As a result of the commercial change Humanity has gathered even more than 3.5 billion bunches of "scrap" sitting in "junkyards" around the globe. Many have rubbish that will biodegrade within a rather short duration of time; nevertheless there is an estimated 70% of scrap that could have and also still can be reused. Currently we ask, what is Global Warming in terms of the Industrial Transformation and also what are the International Warming Realities? Placing apart the Co2 generated throughout this period, it is the build-up of scrap from mass production that adds to the start of poisonous chemicals being collected in the ozone. The accumulation of claimed junk is a reality in the Global Warming Fact or Fiction debate; nonetheless it is the result of that accumulation that we are not quite certain regarding when it pertains to the result on our setting when performed over a long duration of time. To list the certain numbers in regards to each classification of junk and how a lot there is of it would certainly be crazy, so instead we selected 3 of the top products of problem in our Junkyards of the 21 century. Plastics & Vehicles The worst point discovered in modern junkyards is plastic. vehicles comes in many various types, sizes, appearances as well as kinds, but it is plastic that overwhelms our junkyards as well as it takes a while to biodegrade. The following point that is afflicting our junkyards is automobiles. It is claimed that there are sufficient squashed, beaten and also damaged cars and trucks in contemporary day junkyards to make it so we would not need to create a "new" vehicle for years to come, minimum, if we simply used the steel and also parts from junked ones. Rubbish The last one on our listing of things of worry in our junkyards is, well, garbage. We have a lot rubbish remaining on our planet that is simply derogatory back right into the planet and who is to claim what effect that is or will carry our ambience. We understand that CO2 isn't that great for ozone, just how concerning the countless lots of harmful fumes originating from the steaming stacks of males utilized treasures. Ideally those truths dropped some light on the Worldwide Warming Fact or Fiction discussion for you to make up your own mind. Now that we have a basic response to the concern what is worldwide warming and also with the realities in hand, allow's look at several of the common fiction or myths about it and its results on mankind. International Warming Fact or Fiction - Here Is The Fiction! The Planet getting warmer is an intriguing topic due to the fact that regardless of males determination to find with each other on this issue one means or the other, we simply do not have the technical ability to make a final determination one means or the other. We understand that the Worldwide Warming Facts are persuading, but let's look at the International Warming Fictionto give some equilibrium. The thing is that the Planet is truly big and it has been around for a long time. Male is recently beginning to scratch the surface of science and also the tricks it holds. Below are several of the most generally linked misconceptions or fiction about Worldwide Warming that we have collected thus far. Fiction # 1 - The Planet Is Gon na Fry In the Global Warming Truth or Fiction discussion the most typical mistaken belief is as complies with. The Earth shedding its ambience in an instant and also becoming a large round of fire is what scares some people when they think about Worldwide Warming and what they interpret it as. Currently while the Earth shedding its environment is possibly possible, with the expertise of understanding what is Global warming, it is extremely not likely that we would certainly all burn to a crisp if it took place in a split second. The most likely result of shedding our safety shield would be every person and every little thing in the world being sucked into the vacuum cleaner of space. Very little far better I know, however when Global Warming is worried we must be OK from being melted to a crisp! If it really did not take place in an immediate nevertheless, then that is an entire various story and also technically Earth might fry over time with a dyeing and also decomposing ambience! Fiction # 2 - The Earth Is Gon na Freeze 2 opposing concepts in the Global Warming Fact or Fiction argument include are we gon na freeze or are we gon na melt? With the power of what is worldwide warming in our collection, allow's take an appearance at the cold facet of the discussion! This concept is extra fiction than reality when it pertains to the Earth getting warmer because allow's claim that our ozone disappeared suddenly. Because circumstances we would certainly all likely be leapt over into deep space. If we shed it in a brief period of time we would all likely burn to death from the added energy from the sunlight being enabled right into our domain name. The Earth freezing nevertheless is a stretch when it pertains to the Earth getting warmer right? It is theoretically feasible that if sufficient build-up in our environment collects then the sunlight can be blocked from our sight and the temperature might substantially lower. Nevertheless when speaking about the Planet and also it obtaining warmer it is far more most likely that instead of obstructing the sunlight an opening would burst creating even more heat as well as radiation to permeate with. International Warming Reality or Fiction In Closing What is worldwide warming? After assessing this report regarding Global Warming Fact or Fiction it is our hope you have a far better understanding of the intricacy behind the questions and currently that you understand the International Warming Realities as well as the International Warming Fiction, you must have a far better understanding. The idea is real and also it is possible that the Planet could shed to a crisp or freeze right into a barren sphere of ice; however it is the means as well as justification that choose whether either one will truly take place. If male advances its existing path with extreme quantities of Carbon Dioxide being pumped into the ambience and also proceeds to lose remarkable amounts of materials each and every single day, then it is possible that we can really see a combination of a freezing impact and a burning impact, who really understands. 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2.05 Kill or Be Killed

I think the lead-in sentence for every episode this season is just going to be me, enthusing about what a good episode it is, full of great themes, complex relationships, and tightly woven plots. Season two, man. It’s basically perfect.

Elena catches Jeremy up on the fact that Mason and maybe Tyler are wolves. She’s promised not to keep things from him, but says she doesn’t want him involved. Stefan sneaks into Elena’s bedroom, she makes sure the door’s shut, because actually she’s definitely still keeping things from Jeremy!, and kisses Stefan. “Hi,” she says. “Hey,” he says, hugging her. “You ready for today?” “No,” Elena pouts into his shoulder, “I hate fighting with you, even if it’s fake.” Stefan reminds her that they need to keep Katherine thinking she’s getting what she wants, it’s the best way to make sure she doesn’t hurt anybody. “Just promise me she won’t get her way with us,” Elena says, “we can fake a fight, we can pretend that her threats are tearing us apart, but none of it’s real, okay?”

Stefan smiles at her, says, “Okay how ‘bout this? Today, when we’re fighting, if I say I can’t do this anymore, Elena, what I’ll really mean is that I love you.” He adds a little extra broody-smolder, she smiles.

“And when I say, Fine, Stefan, whatever – it really means I love you too,” she answers. “Deal,” Stefan says, and they both stop beaming at each other long enough to kiss.

This is a pretty good episode for them, so expect me to run with my rare Stelena feels for as far as they’ll take me.

Caroline signed her mom up for the Historical Society Volunteer Picnic some time ago, and Liz tells her she’s going to go and spend a whole day with her daughter. “Come on, give me one day,” she says. “I’ve been buried in work mode, I’ve barely seen you.” “Well, be warned,” says Caroline snippily, “I’m in a mood.” “Goodie for me,” Liz says wryly, then asks, “Is everything okay with you?” “I’m fine,” Caroline says. “It’s just, lately you’ve seemed…different,” Liz tells her. “I’m not different, I’m fine,” Caroline insists. “I know you don’t think I notice these things,” Liz persists, “but I do. What’s going on with you?” “You know,” says Caroline, “there’s pretending to be mother and then there’s reality. Let’s not push our luck.” Nothing puts strain on a relationship like one party not telling the other that they technically died.

At the picnic, Stefan proposes peace to Mason, who’s understandably miffed given that his own overtures of friendship were so violently rejected, and tells Stefan that Damon should watch his back. Stefan switches gears, reminds Mason that he’s outnumbered and only dangerous once a month. He assures Mason that Damon won’t attack him, and the two shakes hands. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, these moments of Stefan threatening people are so wonderfully funny when you remember Stefan is supposed to be a seventeen-year-old little high-school shithead. Mason leaves; Damon sneaks up on his brother. “What are you doing?” he asks flatly. “Negotiating peace on your behalf,” Stefan says. “But I don’t want peace!” Damon whines. “Well,” Stefan says unsympathetically, “consider it opposite day.” “Stefan,” says Damon, putting his hands on his brother’s shoulders as if he’s about to give him the close-talking-est neck massage ever, “tell me you don’t seriously think a handshake just solved all our problems.” “No, actually,” Stefan says, mock-casually,“I think the first chance he gets Mason Lockwood is going to drive a stake through your heart. And then through mine! All because you took it upon yourself to try to kill him. So thank you, because we don’t have enough problems.” He cups Damon’s face in one hand in a quasi-manly gesture of affection and frustration, shakes him, and then leaves.

Jeremy is sitting in the Grille, sketching Tyler Lockwood. Eventually this gets boring, so he gets up and asks Tyler how he’s been, and Tyler (after a kneejerk-jerk response) thanks him for being a decent person at Mayor Lockwood’s wake. Tyler then invites a couple of girls and Jeremy back to his house to drink and party while his mom’s supervising the picnic. Since this little arc is 85% moonstone shenanigans, this is pretty much all I’m going to say about it: Tyler knows Jeremy knows, Tyler doesn’t kill anybody, Tyler gives Mason moonstone. Bing bang boom. Also, Mason’s sort of with Katherine.

At the picnic, Mason asks Liz to talk about the council. “I know vampires exist,” he says, “and you have two of them living right under your nose.” “Really,” says Liz, impatiently, “who would they be?” “Damon and Stefan Salvatore,” Mason says. Easy as that – every other mini-villain threatened to expose the boys, but Mason just went straight for it. Liz’s eyes narrow. “That’s impossible,” she says. “I know Damon Salvatore, do you know what he’s done for this town? I have watched him kill vampires, he’s an ally, he’s part of the council.” “Think about it!” Mason insists. “When did the vampire attacks begin – when Damon and Stefan Salvatore moved to town?” “No,” Liz says firmly, “Damon Salvatore is my friend.” But of course – Mason offers to prove it. It is nice to hear “Damon and Stefan Salvatore” instead of “Stefan and Damon Salvatore” for a change – Damon is older, after all.

“So, suddenly she’s in the running for mother of the year, just when I’m trying to avoid her the most!” Caroline complains to a very distracted Elena, who has to be prompted to supply the requisite “then what happened”. “Well, I was a bitch,” Caroline admits, “but that’s par for the course with us. So,” she adds, in that terrible fake-casual Mystic Falls Liar voice, “how are things with you and Stefan? Anything?” Elena heaves a theatrical sigh, says, “No, not since the fight. He’s been pushing me away because he thinks Katherine might get jealous enough to hurt me. I just don’t know how to change his mind.” “You said that Katherine’s dangerous,” Caroline says, coming over to sit by her, “maybe he’s got a point.” “Yeah, I know that she’s dangerous, and I know that he’s just trying to protect me, but it feels like giving up, and I just –” She cuts off, fake-frustrated. “Just what?” Caroline asks quietly. Elena makes eye contact with her, says innocently, “I just thought that we were stronger than that.”

I’ve complained before about Stefan treating Caroline like a pawn – feeding her vervain to knock Damon out instead of actually making a move to save her – and again when Stefan and Elena both reacted to Caroline’s being turned into a vampire with “Katherine’s doing this to me”, instead of “it’s awful that Katherine did this to Caroline”. But this is a new low. They’re using Caroline to feed false information to Katherine, while simultaneously guilting her for something they must know she’s being forced to do. I don’t love it.

Damon wanders up to Liz and asks what her chat with Mason was about. “Oh,” she answers awkwardly, “I just asked him to help me with clean-up in the woods.” “That’s what I’m here for,” Damon says, cheerfully, “put me to work! Should I go help him?” “Oh, no, no, you know what, he’s – I’m sure he’s fine,” Liz says, avoiding eye contact, which is a darn shame, because Damon is having an Extra Pretty Eye Day.

“Are you okay, Liz?” he asks. “You seem really upset.” “It’s Caroline,” Liz answers, “we had a moment.” “Is there anything I can do?” Damon asks, sounding genuinely regretful for her pain.

“No, Damon,” she says, “thank you. It’s just horrible parenting skills paying off in spades.” She makes her exit, he watches her go, looking blue-eyed and worried.

Stefan and Elena ogle each other from across the picnic. “Uh-oh,” Caroline says, “longing looks are being exchanged.” “I’m gonna go talk to him,” Elena decides. “No, Elena, I think it’s a bad idea,” Caroline says, but Elena’s already gone. Damon sidles up so that he and Caroline can look pretty and blue-eyed and watch Elena together; Damon asks, “What’s her problem?” “Don’t worry about it,” Caroline says. “Why are you being such a bitch to your mom?” Damon says, with a frankly surprising amount of sincerity behind it.

“Don’t worry about it,” Caroline repeats. The answer should be obvious – she can’t let her mother get too close, or Liz will find out she’s a vampire, and Damon should know that. Everybody’s getting on her case for things that aren’t her fault; she’s in several impossible positions and she’s doing the best she can, but nobody’s helping her. Across the way, Elena asks Stefan, “Do you still care about Katherine?” “Don’t do this, please don’t turn this into something it’s not,” he pleads, which kudos to Stefan, is totally believable! Their fights have always consisted of Elena asking straightforward questions and Stefan doing backflips around them. “So this isn’t up for discussion, that’s what you’re saying?” Elena says. “No, I’m saying this isn’t up for discussion right now, because we have ears on us,” Stefan says. Caroline gets busy painting something, Damon gets busy…staring at the ground? Great job, real subtle, hon. Elena huffs a sigh, asks, “Okay, when?” “I don’t know,” Stefan says. “I saw her, Stefan,” Elena says, her voice starting to shake. “It’s like we’re the same person, how could you hate her and be in love with me?” “You’re reaching,” Stefan says, “I’m not…I’m not Damon.” “How about we don’t bring Damon into this right now,” Elena answers. “You know what,” says Stefan, dropping his voice lower and looking her in the eyes, “I can’t – I can’t do this anymore, Elena.”

Comprehension dawns in her eyes, she swallows. “Fine, Stefan,” she says, nodding slightly, “whatever.” She walks off; Damon murmurs to Caroline, “Relationships are about communication…” This could have been such a corny scene, but you get the sense that as Stefan and Elena are talking, the reality of their situation starts to bleed into the fight. It feels like when they use their code phrases, it’s not to say “none of this is real, like we planned, like we wanted – everything’s okay, and I love you.” But rather, what they’re communicating is that even in the midst of this, even though they’re both really afraid and even a little frustrated with each other, they do still love each other: “Nothing’s okay, and I love you.” Relationships are about communication, and they managed to say exactly what they needed to.

“Heard you talked to Stefan,” Damon tells Mason. “Nice guy,” Mason says. “Way nicer than me,” Damon says, grinning. “Nice is overrated,” Mason answers. “That’s what I think,” Damon says, clapping him on the shoulder. This is very reminiscent of his early interactions with Alaric – as in, the interactions directly before he killed Alaric. Damon, you are bad at making friends. Mason leaves, Stefan zooms over to yell at his brother for shit-stirring. “So what’s up with this faux-drama in your relationship?” Damon asks, point-blank. “What are you talking about?” Stefan says, shifty-eyed as can be. “Oh, come on, Stefan,” Damon says, “you and Elena don’t fight.” He adds, wryly, “Especially not over me.” “Drop it, Damon,” Stefan says. “With pleasure,” Damon answers, and accepts a lemonade from a pint-sized volunteer, which he promptly spits all over, coughing. “What’s wrong with you?” Stefan says, somewhat petulantly. “Vervain,” Damon gasps. Across the park, Liz watches as Stefan sniffs the drink and fusses over his brother. They’ve been caught.

Elena sits at the edge of the creek and rips at grass, angrily. Caroline tries to tell her maybe it’s for the best – and given Caroline’s own decision to break up with Matt, maybe she believes it is – but Elena snaps at her. “I don’t mean to take it out on you, you’re just trying to be a good friend,” she bites out. Elena, quit being an asshole. “No, I’m not,” Caroline says, “I’m not being a good friend at all.” But before she can confess anything, she sees her mother leaving the picnic and takes off after her. They have a very cliched back and forth – “you lasted longer than I thought”, “it’s important”, “it always is” – and then Liz, apologizing, leaves. “Something’s up,” Caroline tells Elena. They climb to the top of a hill and Caroline shushes Elena so she can listen to what’s going on.

Damon and Stefan rassle at the edge of the picnic. “I’m not listening to any more of your give-peace-a-chance crap, he’s dead!” Damon spits. “Alright, I don’t like it, but he’s making threats, he could expose us, we need to put him down,” Stefan says. Man, he caved fast. They take off after Mason into the woods, where they make uncreative threats and then are shot full of wooden bullets and vervain by Liz and her deputies. The brothers are dragged to the old Lockwood estate so they can be interrogated and killed; Liz sends Mason away. He runs into Caroline and Elena above-ground, is smug and condescending. He grabs Elena, tells Caroline, “Don’t be stupid, necks snap easy around here.”

“I can take you,” Caroline says, like she’s psyching herself up; she’s insecurity on crack, and yet – “Wanna bet?” Mason says. “Yeah, I do,” says Caroline, and in a flash she has him away from Elena and pinned by the throat to a tree. “Told ya,” she says, and knees him in the groin.

Underground, Liz is shooting Damon’s knees. She shoots Stefan once as well, but he doesn’t move, and so she goes back to shooting Damon. “I will drag this out painfully,” she tells Damon. “But you’re my friend…” he murmurs. “Our friendship was a lie,” Liz says, “answer me and I’ll kill you fast.” He doesn’t answer; he’s heard Elena and Caroline arrive upstairs. “My mom…she’s killing them,” Caroline says. “We have to stop her!” Elena says, and makes for the entrance. Caroline doesn’t follow; “Elena, I can’t, she’ll find out about me!” Elena leaves her at the top of the stairs, and hits a deputy with a wooden board. “You can’t kill them, I’m not gonna let you!” she tells Liz. Liz barely has time to exclaim before there’s a whoosh, and then Caroline’s taken out both the deputies – one dead from the other’s bullets, and the other thrown aside, neck possibly broken.

“Hi, mom.”

“You need to drink some deputy blood,” Damon tells Stefan, who’s hunched over in Elena’s arms, breathing shallowly. “No, I’ll be fine, it’s just gonna take a little bit longer,” Stefan says. “No, Damon’s right,” Caroline puts in in a small voice, “if there was ever a time to break your diet – ” “He said he didn’t want it, okay?” Elena interrupts. Damon struggles to his feet, declaims, “This is a most unfortunate situation. Two deputies dead. And you,” he addresses Liz, “what am I gonna do with you?”

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Caroline says.

Liz looks away. “Mom?” Caroline repeats. “Mom? I know we don’t get along and that you hate me, but I’m your daughter, and you’ll do this for me, right? Mom, please. He will kill you.” Damon nods, literally snarling. Liz looks up at him, sobs, “Then kill me.” “No!” Caroline protests. “I can’t take this,” Liz says, “kill me, now.” Damon leans over her, says, “But you were going to drag it out so painfully!”

He smirks at her fear, grabs her roughly. Caroline screams “no” repeatedly, Stefan shouts, “Damon, don’t!” as Elena begs “Damon, please!” “Relax, guys, no one’s killing anybody!” Damon says, the malevolent spark in his eyes gone like it was never there, replaced by the usual ironic humor.

Stefan and Elena look relieved albeit flabbergasted. Damon ignores them, turns to Liz, and says gently, looking straight into her eyes, “You’re my friend.” He didn’t overhear her conversation with Mason – he’s not echoing her words back to her in an accusatory way, throwing the label in her face to make her feel bad about shooting him. He’s even saying it again, now that his life’s not on the line. This is really, truly his assessment of their relationship – everyone else thought the friendship was a lie concocted so he could get information on the council, everyone else thought he’d turn on Liz the same way he turned on Caroline when she became a threat. But if Damon is anything, it’s inconsistent.

Caroline arrives on the boys’ doorstep with a giant overnight bag for her mom, who’s staying in the Salvatore Detox Hotel for two-to-three days until the vervain has left her system and she can be compelled. “Hey!” she says to Stefan. “Get some bunny in you?” “Yeah, thank you, I’m feeling much better,” he replies. D’awwww. Downstairs, Damon helps Liz get settled: “It’s not exactly the Ritz, but it’s secure. And I brought you a good thread count.”

Just as Caroline reaches the doorway, Liz asks Damon, “Keep Caroline away from me, please. I don’t wanna see her.” “She’s your daughter, Liz,” Damon says. “Not anymore,” she answers, “my daughter’s gone.” “You have no idea how wrong you are about that,” Damon says, solemnly. But Liz doesn’t answer, and when he meets Caroline’s eyes on the other side of the door she drops the luggage and flees.

Up until now, Caroline’s vampire-experience has been straightforwardly paralleled with Stefan’s – he’s the one helping her, teaching her, trying to make sure she doesn’t suffer the way he did. But here, just for a moment, Damon puts his oar in – like Caroline and her mother, he had a complicated relationship with his father prior to turning. Unlike Caroline, and unlike Stefan, he never got the opportunity to resolve that – but he knows that the destruction of that relationship after turning is what pushed Stefan over the edge. So, he does his best – after all, he’s already been low-key trying to fix Caroline’s relationship with her mother all day.

Stefan stops at his fridge o’ contraband, contemplates a blood bag. “Katherine took a little vervain every day and built up a tolerance,” he tells Elena. “I could do the same with blood, learn to control myself on it.” “But you can’t, Stefan,” Elena says, “you don’t have to.” “I almost died tonight, Elena,” he says, “because I was too weak. I told you I was gonna find a way to stop Katherine, and this is it.” She taps her ear, says, “Can we talk about this later?” “He can hear us wherever we are, because he drinks this!” Stefan shouts. “This is the only thing that can help me.” “Are you serious or are you pretending to fight, because I can’t tell,” Elena says, shaken. “No, this is real,” Stefan says, “no more pretend.” She stares at him like she’s not seeing him, like she’s remembering every awful thing they went through last time he drank human blood – and then she runs.

Caroline confesses to Elena that she’s scared to go home because Katherine will be there; Elena admits that she’s known and she’s been angry, but then she thought about it and realized Katherine had to have threatened someone Caroline loved – “Matt,” Caroline sobs, “she threatened Matt. Why is she doing this? What does she want?” “That’s the million dollar question,” Elena answers.

This resolution is more than a little unsatisfying – Caroline sensed something was wrong, Caroline tracked the disturbance, Caroline took down Mason, and Caroline saved the Salvatores, risking her life, committing as many as (1) murder, and exposing her undead identity to her mother in the process. Stefan and Elena assumed Caroline was most useful kept in the dark, an unwitting double agent – but hasn’t she proved in the course of the day that she can hold her own? Why aren’t they apologizing to her? Why aren’t they thanking her?

Elena crosses paths with Damon on her way out, says “Caroline’s sleeping on the couch.” This, by the way, is ridiculous – it’s a boarding house, they have spare rooms up the wazoo. “I heard,” Damon whispers back, “and you?” She gives him a look I can’t decipher, says, “I’m going home.” But she stops at the front door, turns back around and says to him, “What you did for Caroline’s mom…?”

“That’s the Damon who was my friend.” He blinks, offers her the slightest acknowledging smile; she turns to go. “Hey,” he says. She turns. “Stefan didn’t drink the people blood, if you were curious,” he says, keeping his voice light. “But he needs to, and deep down you know that.”

She stares at him – this is the first time, since Jeremy, that they’ve looked at each other like this, torn open and vulnerable and visible. He nods at her, and leaves her alone – he’s given her the distance she asked for all episode, and even now, he takes her words to him for what they are, and doesn’t pressure her for anything more.

Elena stands in Stefan’s doorway, asks, “You really think you can control it?” “I don’t know,” he answers. “I think it’s worth trying.” “So do I,” Elena says, “but I don’t want you to do it alone.” She pricks her palm with a (truly ostentatious) letter opener, and sits opposite him. “It’s you and me, Stefan,” she says, “always.”

It’s the two of them against the world, holding each other through every trial, each acting as the anchor point so that the other doesn’t slip away. This is the final movement away from the Miss Mystic Falls era of the show dynamics – it’s not the Damon and Elena team, anymore, bonded by their shared love for Stefan, working together to keep him safe and on the straight and narrow. Now, it’s Stefan and Elena, facing the thing that they couldn’t before, ready to stare it down by the strength of their bond. Damon provides the push – but then he steps aside.

Music Moments: Kris Allen’s “I Need to Know” plays over the last two scenes with Damon and Elena (are you leaving me / or are you leading the way? / can you hear what I'm saying? / I need to know), and Stefan and Elena (feels so far away / I want to see your face / are you even there? / can you show me? / can you make me believe?).

Previously: 2.01, 2.02, 2.03, 2.04

#2.05 #tvd #kill or be killed #rewatch

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