#I mean it's a hero ship too so yeah make it bright

[freshmangojuice]

ever think about how ace's ship is the only other red ship we've seen besides red dwarf?

[portraitofadyke]

what's been bugging me is how some people, especially steddyhands shippers, seem to ignore Stede's complete blind spot that is Ed. I've been rereading some post s1 fix-its, and it's amazing how almost every one of their reunions had Stede blaming Ed for marooning the crew and attempting to kill Lucius (same with ppl's expectation that there would be some sort of physical fight). And then he just. Doesn't.

Stede obviously cares for the crew. A lot. But the moment Ed's well being is in the picture, he becomes hyperfocused on Ed and Ed only. Obviously the crew told him about being marooned, but we don't see him mention that once in his letters. They reunite with Lucius, and yet all Stede talks about is Ed (and his poor portrayal on his wanted posters)- Lucius confesses about Ed throwing him overboard, and all Stede does is question 'why?', because he knows Ed wouldn't just randomly attempt to murder Lucius. The moment Lucius tells him Stede broke Ed, Stede is back to blaming himself, never Ed. He clearly cares about Lucius, because later in the ep, he tries to reconcile with him by giving him 'dating advice' and trying to save him from what happened to him and Ed, but Ed comes first.

We actually see it in s1 too, if only briefly, in s7 when Stede desperately tries to keep Ed abroad and becomes oblivious to the crew's concerns and problems and we get the iconic line "Eat and apple, for God's sake!" Stede cares, but Ed is at the front of his mind and it's hard for him to understand what could be more important.

In s02e03, he gets his ship and the rest of his crew back, but Ed is nowhere. Izzy is literally missing a leg and Stede just tells him to piss off.

And I've seen people questioning why Stede never questioned that, why he never bothered to ask about Izzy's missing toe or back scars or why he didn't care about the leg more. Izzy clearly lies again and tells Stede Ed shot it off because he told Ed he loves him, and yet stede just. Doesn't care.

And i mean, that question is valid. Because people see Stede as someone who's much more caring, more hero-coded. But Stede is far more a romantic hero to Ed than he is your general hero to the rest of the characters. Stede is selfish. Stede is blind-sided. Stede is willing to abandon his morals when it comes to Ed.

I think there are two reasons Stede doesn't question Izzy's Ed-inflicted-injuries, or any other, for that matter. First one is, Stede's blind spot for Ed. Yeah, Izzy got his leg shot off by Ed (not entirely true, but I digress), but there must have been a reason why. Yeah, Izzy got his toes cut off and hand-fed, but Ed had a reason. Stede knows Ed is not violent by default, so he knows something must have prompted him to do that. Is it completely justified? That's a differenr convo about people trying to portray Izzy as a victim rather than someone who kept pushing Ed over the edge until they were both too far.

The second is... Yeah, Stede just doesn't care. Especially about Izzy. Lie it's been pointed out, Stede just thinks izzy is a dick. He misnames him. He's rightuflly mad at him for selling them out to the english. He literally dreams about killing Izzy for that. Stede blames himself for abandoning Ed and everything that happened after (and yes, Ed's actions are Ed's actions, but that's how Stede sees it), but he clearly also blames Izzy for setting them up.

So, Stede sees Izzy's missing leg? Probably deserved that. Back scars, missing toe? Eh, probably deserved that, too, Ed would look absolutely lovely in a braid. Is that morally correct? No, but Stede isn't written to be a moral character. That's what makes him so real, and that's why so many other actors than Rhys would struggle making Stede sympathetic and likeable to the audiences.

That's not to say Stede doesn't see Ed's wrongs. He absolutely does. He just. Doesn't care that much in the end, because his love for all of Ed is that bright, to the point of being absolutely, utterly selfish. DJenkins said it from the beginning; this show is about Ed and Stede's relationship. Stede doesn't question Izzy's injuries bc in the end, it just doesn't matter to him when Ed is in the picture

[rynnthefangirl]

Thoughts on Squid Games season 2 (spoilers):

1. That Pentathalon was brutal and one of the hardest games in either season. Seriously if even ONE person chokes you ALL die and it is so easy to choke at games like that under pressure. Should have killed way more people tbh.

Also I have been obsessed with Gonggi since watching that episode. Don’t have the real pieces, but I’ve learned to do level five with dice😎

2. Gi Hun and Player 333 defender, y’all don’t get them like I do🙌

Player 333 ate when he stabbed Thanos, you go pookie🥰

Also Young Mi’s death wasn’t his fault😞

Okay maybe I just think 333 is cute💕🤭

Gi Hun making sacrifices to try to stop the games for good is not and never will be on the same level as the game makers running the games in the first place, wipe that smirk off your face Mr. Frontman😠

Also his plan wasn’t terrible, he just didn’t know 001 was the Frontman. Maybe he should have known they’d try something like that again, but he probably figured they thought they’d beat him when they took out the tracking device. He got so close to the control room and could have won if he wasn’t betrayed!

Gi Hun could have left it all behind but instead he willingly put his life on the line to try to stop the games for good!!! He’s not “playing the hero” he IS a hero!!

I mean I’m not saying he is perfect or makes all right choices, but he has a noble goal.

3. It breaks my heart how different Gi Hun is😢 he was so bright and full of life in S1, now he’s quiet and broken. Powerful character development, but I miss my wife😭

4. Didn’t really think of 457 as a ship while I was watching, but seeing it in the fandom… yeah it’s a good ship. Gotta love a solid hero x villain, and the idea of Jun Ho finally finding the island only to realize his evil brother is psychosexually obsessed with Gi Hun is hilarious😂 457 is a great ship name too.🫰

5. I miss Sae Byeok💔

6. Player 120 and Player 149 carried this season, I’m glad they survived and am excited to see more of them!

7. I feel for Dae Ho, but I don’t think I can 100% defend him purely because he should not have volunteered to go back for the ammo. Like his reaction is totally understandable and looked like a PTSD attack and I don’t blame him in the slightest for getting out of that situation. But let 120 go back for the ammo!!! She already volunteered and she had it!!!

Although in his defense the others really should have seen that he wasn’t in a good state of mind for that mission, so that’s on them as well.

8. Player 390 was the hardest death for me, he was a good dude and Gi Hun has already watched too many friends die😭 to know it was his plan that got him killed is so much worse too.

[br1ghtestlight]

"This is a plane. But don't think of it as a plane. Think of it as a superpower, 'cause in 1920 if you were brave enough to fly one of these things, to even go up in one—you were kind of a superhero. The subject of my report gets to go on her first flight as a passenger when she's 23 years old. And she decides right then and there that she wants to be a pilot. Amelia Earhart got her pilots' license in 1923. In 1932—already famous but determined to prove herself as a pioneer, she flies solo across the Atlantic. The first woman and only the second person to ever do this. Her most ambitious goal, however—to be the first woman to fly around the world... this goal she would never achieve.

Her voice on the radio during the final part of that journey would be the last anyone ever heard from her. Ever. Yeah, I know! Imagine my surprise when I found that out. It was so badly planned. They didn't bring the right kind of radio. Nothing. No ship, no Howland Island, and no land of any kind.

They were exactly where they weren't supposed to be. Over the open ocean, with nothing but fumes left in the gas tanks. When they realized just how bad things were, Amelia and her navigator must have talked. But what is there to say? Oops?

I imagine that she made a graceful landing on the water. I imagine that they climbed out up onto the nose of the plane. I imagine that the plane was sinking... but not quickly. The body of it would fill with water and slowly become too heavy for the empty gas tanks' and the wings to hold up on the surface. And I picture Amelia really facing her fate. No planes in the sky. No ships on the horizon. And she would have known that soon she'd be treading water. The great flyer was now a floater. Fish food.

Amelia Earhart didn't fly around the world. And some people may think that makes her a failure. And those people might say that loudly while standing next to you with hot breath. And sometimes, yeah—people with louder, deeper voices get heard more and that's really annoying. But that doesn't make me want to make my voice lower and deeper. That just makes me mad.

Look what Earhart did. She saved her money and she bought her bright red Lockheed Vega. That was her saying 'Hello. This is what my voice sounds like.' That thing had a 450 horse-power engine. That basically means that the engine is strong, and is loud, and is 450 horses all mushed together. And it could fly. If you wrote a book, and you invented this character, this dashing lady-pilot—you might become a famous author. Well, she was that character. She wrote herself.

Okay, so we know what probably happened. But who knows, right? When you're that far out into the world there's more magic. That's true. It's like that in the North Pole, and in the jungles. Maybe after she'd made her peace, just before she got too tired to keep afloat—maybe some of that magic lifted that plane right back up underneath her. And maybe she got to fly it back up into the air, and maybe she never had to land again. Maybe she dropped Fred Noonan off in navigator Heaven and then kept going.

I like to think of her flying around up there right now. She makes me want to write a story for myself that's as big and as freakin' cool as hers.

That's why Amelia Earhart is my hero."

— Transcript of Louise's presentation on Amelia Earhart

[franklyshipping]

Tickle-Hungry ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

Here we have our next glorious anon prompt, this one pertaining to an interesting ship between the snazzy Bim Trimmer and courageous Silver Shepherd! Let's explore this cute union and DO THIS!

TAGGING: @bimlee-trimmer @bim-trimler and @silvlee-shepherd

Silver Shepherd, as usual, was being a complete and utter sweetheart, and Bim Trimmer was smitten. The charming gameshow host had taken a swan-dive into the whole “new year new me” vibe, and had begun this process by giving his studio a complete revamp in anticipation of a new panel show he was going to be filming. All the basic decorating had been done and everything he needed was on-site, but now it was a case of getting all the heavy apparatus and props in position… and the workforce he normally used had all come down with the flu! Naturally of course, Silver Shepherd was eager to jump to the rescue and be the hero of the hour, and for the past few days had been placing podiums, installing rows of seating, as well as positioning heavy cameras and light fixtures.

Bim was helping too of course… though mostly by bringing Silver drinks and snacks whilst he himself mostly watched the hero at work. Silver didn’t mind, and honestly was glad because the last thing he wanted was for Bim to pull a muscle! So he accepted the sustenance and chat happily, honestly loving having Bim’s constant company… and the occasional subtle flirting that came with it. Silver pretended not to notice, but he saw how Bim would glance over at him (or sometimes just straight up stare) whenever he stretched or flexed amidst his work. Silver found it very flattering, and as a result had slowed his pace a little, just to make the fun last.

‘Where do you want this camera going?’

‘Just over there please, we’ll use that one for the wide podium shots.’

‘Okey dokey!’

Silver went about moving it, his shirt raising as he did so, and Bim had to bite back a grin when he got the chance to catch yet another glimpse of Silver’s delectable midriff. Bim didn’t know what was coming over him, but something about spying Silver’s adorable tummy or waist made him feel–

‘So what’s it about?’

‘Huh?’

Bim blinked at Silver, realising Silver was stood in front of him, smiling curiously.

‘The new gameshow! Is it a quizzy one?’

Bim used all his willpower not to blush as a charming smile appeared on his face, and he laughed lightly.

‘O-Oh, hah, yeah yeah it is.’

‘How will it work?’

Silver asked, his eyes bright with curiosity which made Bim feel like his heart was going to melt. Bim subtly neatened his hair as his smile grew, subconsciously trying to look smart and charming as he replied.

‘Well um, the questions are in different categories. If you answer enough questions in one category you can get prizes related to it, and there are a list of themes people can pick from. For example if someone went with the theme of Italy and they answer three questions right, they’ll get a dinner for two at a 5 star Italian restaurant. Answer six questions right they’ll also get a six year supply of authentic gelato, and if they answer all ten questions correctly then they also get an all expenses paid 4-night holiday to Florence! Also all the questions are multiple choice, so it’s not super hard.’

Silver looked utterly awestruck, mainly because the prizes sounded so generous!

‘Woah, that sounds so cool!’

‘You really think so?’

Bim asked, and Silver nodded as his beaming smile grew.

‘Yeah! I mean… I think all your ideas are awesome.’

Silver’s words hit Bim like a freight train. Bim was used to compliments, he got them from colleagues and fans practically every day… but to hear words like these from Silver just got to him in a totally different way. Bim couldn’t hold back the warmth blooming on his face, and when Silver saw he’d made Bim blush he himself felt his own cheeks turn rosy. But of course that’s fine between really close friends! Silver figured it was totally normal that his tummy was full of flutters and that his fingers were twitching with the urge to play with Bim’s hair and stroke his face– oh boy. Silver blinked, getting his thoughts straight, and opened his mouth to ask what Bim wanted moving next.

But he didn’t have a chance to get his words out, because Bim too had been swirled about in his own head. All he could think about was how damn kind and sweet Silver was, how generous and selfless… but also how goddamn pretty he was. I mean he was a superhero for goodness sake! Not only that, but he was so strong, so soft looking… and that midriff was a whole treat all by itself. Bim couldn’t resist anymore… and so he pounced.

‘So shall I do one of the podiums next or–AHH!’

Silver’s words were cut off as he suddenly found himself pinned to the floor, eyes wide. As he locked eyes with Bim he spotted a twinkle… a very, very familiar twinkle. Silver had been tickled by Bim before, so he knew what his ler mood looked like… but for Bim this was even more than that. There was something feral in that twinkle, and for a moment Silver could have sworn he saw his eyes flash violet and his teeth momentarily gleam with sharpness.

‘B-Bim what the heck?!’

Silver giggled nervously as he squirmed, but Bim’s hold was strong as he kept him playfully pinned down. Slowly he leaned in and whispered in the hero’s ear.

‘Do you have any idea… how tempting you are?’

Silver’s pink cheeks suddenly darkened to a distinct red as he stuttered.

‘T-Tempting? H-How?’

Bim chuckled fondly down at him, and gently lifted up Silver’s t-shirt to reveal his stomach and waist. With a few fingertips he started tracing the bare skin, and he purred in a low voice.

‘Soft, sensitive… tasty looking…’

Silver’s eyes went wide as he realised what Bim was getting at, and the traces already got his giggles started. Bim’s way of tickling was legendary in the manor…in the most wild and chill-inducing way. Bim slowly licked his lips, grinning and revealing his teeth as his face hovered closer and closer to Silver’s stomach.

‘N-Nonono Bim Bim w-wait yoou know I c-can’t take it when you–EEEEP!’

Bim pressed his open mouth against Silver’s stomach…and started nibbling. In an instant Silver was struggling wildly as he giggled and snorted, his blush creeping down his neck and he started babbling.

‘Nohohoho stahahahappit! Yohohour teheeth ahare shahaharp!’

‘Mhmm, all the better to tickle you with!’

‘Nuhuhuhuhu!’

Silver giggled even harder as Bim nibbled all over his soft, plush stomach. He wasn’t leaving any marks to speak of, but those canines in particular was just impossible for Silver to ignore. Plus with Bim holding his hands down, their fingers interlaced together in a totally normal friend way, there was nothing he could do to fight back!

‘Mmm, has anyone ever told you that you taste as good as you look?’

Silver was flustered into near speechlessness as he gazed up at Bim, gaping and stuttering.

‘Wha–…I…’

Bim laugh, giving Silver’s lower belly a nip as he growled warmly.

‘Aww, did I embarrass you?’

Silver resumed his wild giggles and little shrieks as Bim’s teeth continued their tickly feasting. The rest of the hero’s energy translated into him frantically kicking his legs as he replied.

‘Why ahahare yohou dohoing thihis toho mehehehe?!’

‘I already told you, because you’re just so tempting!’

Bim retorted, nipping at one of the hero’s hips to make Silver squeal and whine.

‘Buhuhuhut why?!’

Silver’s eyes were wide with cute confusion, and Bim hesitated as his own cheeks got hotter. He decided to hide his face by bowing it to nip Silver’s hip again – but even as the hero squealed… he caught the edge of Bim’s smile as it turned noticeably shy.

‘Maybe I… like you.’

Silver’s breath hitched and both men went still. Silver’s smile didn’t fade as the tickles paused and Bim gently released his hands, sitting up and clearing his throat softly as he glanced away from Silver. Bim’s heart and head were racing. Did he really just say that? Would Silver be happy because of what he said? Would Silver know exactly what he meant when he said that he liked him? Bim’s mind was threatening to run away with him, until he felt a squeeze on his hand.

‘You like me?’

Silver whispered, and when Bim looked at him he saw an expression full of a smile, a blush… and hope. Bim cleared his throat softly, gently resting his chin on Silver’s tummy as he nodded, looking at Silver tentatively. The Silver’s face was hot as his mind raced with his own thoughts. Was this really happening? Did Bim say what Silver thought he said? Did they both have the same feelings? Silver knew how he felt for Bim, that’s for sure… he’d felt things for Bim for such a long time, but a lack of confidence had always gotten in his way. Until now. Silver reached out and gently stroked Bim’s cheek, encouraging him to look at him.

‘Maybe… maybe I like you too.’

Bim’s face lit up, and he instinctively pressed his cheek against Silver’s hand. One look in his eyes told him that he and the hero were on the exact same page. Bim also saw that the smile on Silver’s face was vibrant, and a tad cheeky. Flirty. Bim grinned, and leaned down to nuzzle Silver’s already pink hip – he figured there was no harm in flirting back, just a little.

‘Oh really?’

Silver squeaked with surprise… but didn’t push Bim away as he continued to softly nuzzle along his waist. He hid his face in his hands as he giggled, nodding as he peeked at Bim through his fingers. If Silver had been looking for confirmation of their relationship, this was definitely it. Bim chuckled, showing of his pearly whites as he grinned broadly. This was the best day ever.

‘I think you like it when I nibble you, don’t you?’

Silver got butterflies in his stomach at the thought of admitting that of all things… and he also liked the thought of keeping up that subtle cheeky streak he had bubbling in his chest. He snorted softly as he mumbled.

‘Mahahahaybe…’

Bim smirked at that, raising a playful eyebrow. He could tell Silver was playing coy on purpose which he thought was adorable… and he knew exactly what the perfect response would be. Bim took a deep breath, and started blowing raspberries along Silver’s exposed waist as he chuckled.

‘Only maybe? Are you sure?’

Needless to say, Silver was an absolute giddy mess of shrieks and yelping-laughs as his eyes widened cutely.

‘WAHAHAIT WAITWAITWAIT BEHEHE NIHIHICE!’

‘I am being nice, I’m giving you one of your five a day!’

Bim continued his raspberries as Silver kicked and batted at him. Though he didn’t fight back with any genuine force, it didn’t take long for the one-sided tickles to transform into a full-blown tussle of pokes and half-hearted wrestling. Neither man could stop smiling.

‘Yohohou’re ahaha meheanie!’

‘You take that back!’

‘Nohoho!’

‘Oh you’re really gonna get it now!’

Silver’s giggles were bubbly and full of squeaks as they continued wrestling, and Bim’s giggles were similarly unstoppable. He leaned in close with a growl, and the hero shrieked and flails when he felt a sloppy raspberry against his ear.

‘AHHH NONONOHOHOHO!’

‘Ooohhh, I didn’t know your ears were so ticklish!’

‘LEHEHEAVE THEHEM AHALOHONE!’

Bim laughed, and playfully grazed the shell of his ear with his teeth.

‘Aww, so sensitive and delicious! I think these might be my new favourite snack!’

Silver was a mess of flustered laughter, but once again wasn’t truly trying to push Bim away. In fact, he was doing the opposite. His arms were wrapped around Bim’s waist, keeping him snug and as close as humanly possible, which was keeping Bim’s heart racing with delight. He treated both of Silver’s ears to a load of nibbles for a while, before he dimmed down to more soothing kisses, until finally leaning up and having mercy. Silver was panting as he giggled residually, and he beamed when he saw the shy smile return to Bim’s face.

‘Was that… okay?’

Silver giggled, and didn’t hesitate to nod.

‘Yeah… more than okay.’

Then, before he could let his nerves cloud his judgement, Silver leaned up and gave Bim a peck on the lips. Bim’s face lit up, his eyes flashing with those magical glints of violet once again… and he kissed Silver back. They were connected, warm and soothed for a few sweet moments before they briefly parted for air, and Silver whispered.

‘Do you still want me to move stuff–?’

‘Nope.’

‘Are you sure–?’

Bim cut him off with another kiss, making the hero giggle and melt – if he had to pick between moving light fixtures and kissing the most handsome gameshow host in existence, he was going to choose the latter every time. Especially when said gameshow host pulled him to his feet with a grin and a growl, holding his hand and pulling him out of the study and he mumbled about still being hungry. Silver figured his grin was probably permanent now, and his step had a skip to it as he interlaced his fingers with Bim. After all, he wasn’t the only one hungry for tickles – and that, darling readers, is the greatest prize of all.

WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DID! WOOO LUV YOUS!!

[its-the-zcu]

I honestly never thought I’d see Rachel/Diamondback in the MCU, so l'm very surprised that she’s gonna be in Cap 4! There are two things I hope they DON'T do with her:

1.) make her a one-and-done villain that has a 5 minute fight scene with Sam and then she's never seen again cuz she either got killed off or sent to the Raft

and 2.) make her Sam's love interest just cuz she was with Steve in the comics and the writers are too lazy to do their research on Sam's big love interests.

I mean yeah, she did flirt with Sam a few times, but they were never on a “OMG I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU" level. But I really won’t be surprised if the MCU does put them together. I just hope it doesn’t affect SamMisty in the comics.

And fandom-wise, l'm nervous for Rachel. SamB*cky stans might hate on her cuz she "gets in the way of their ship” and it'll be the Sharon/Emily and St*veB*cky chronicles all over again 😭 I DO NOT want a repeat of that shit!

But if the MCU writes her as a villain-turned-hero, I could see her having a lot of fans cuz most people love characters like her, which would be nice! I also hope us Sharon stans won't have to see any Rachel stans using her to hate on Sharon, but some were already doing that long before she joined the MCU, so there will no doubt be an increase in that behavior by the time Cap 4 comes out. I’ll do my best to ignore it 🙄 Most of the Rachel stans I’ve seen are pretty chill.

Anyways, I can't wait to finally see Rachel in live action with her bright pink ass wig (or maybe she'll dye her hair)! Rosa Salazar is going to act her ass off and I hope us Rosa/Rachel and Emily/Sharon stans can get along!

Also, FUCK SABRA!

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

ttwt episode 7

“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: our thirteen remaining players were let loose in the Dandenong Ranges in southern Australia with no supplies, no maps- nothing but each other! Even though Team Mojo hit a rough patch while Team Yaoi pulled themselves together for Julia’s sake, it was Albert’s environmental expertise that pulled the Mojos to the finish line, and landed Team Yaoi back in economy. Will they continue to stick together to defend their fellow castmates against Patrick? Will Team Mojo ever stop getting lost in every location we drop them in? Find out now, on Total Takes World Tour!”

Early morning light sifts through the open windows of the first class cabin, awakening everyone bright and early. At this altitude, there are no clouds to filter out the sunshine, let alone trees and houses, so it’s up and at it for Team Mojo. 

Michela yawns and helps herself to the breakfast buffet set up across from the mocktail bar. Chris’ off-limits hot tub bubbles in the background, and the faint sounds of the flat-screen television in his private quarters makes its way through the silence in first class. 

Albert shifts up next to her, taking up a paper plate and sorting through the assorted vegan options (which, albeit, aren’t very impressive). 

“I honestly don’t get how you can just not eat like that,” Michela smiles, helping herself to a large heaping of bacon. “I’d probably starve to death.”

Albert chuckles. “It’s an acquired taste, I suppose. But it’s for the greater good,”

“Does that stuff really make a difference? I mean… no offense, but you’re just one guy,”

“We were taught that no change is too small,” he shrugs, pouring himself some hot water for tea. “I try to live by that.”

Patrick peers over the back of his plush seat from the seating area, eyes narrowed. After a few moments, he plops back down and leans over to Sha-Mod. “Those two are awfully chummy, aren’t they?”

Sha-Mod adjusts the paper napkin tied over his face. “What? I mean, I guess, but they’re just friends, right?”

“‘Friend’ is just a longer way of saying ‘ally’,”

Sha-Mod takes a moment to count on his fingers. “Oh, yeah. Guess that’s right,”

Patrick puts an arm around Sha-Mod and roughly pulls him closer. “Listen, buddy, you get it. We’re two lone wolves, standing apart from the pack!”

“Um… I guess,”

“I always thought you were the best of the Takes Three,” 

“Huh… really? Cause we always agreed McLovin carried. He’s the best at Guitar Hero,”

Patrick grits his teeth and then forces a smile. “Yes. You could go solo if you wanted, they’re holding you back if anything,”

“Really? Cause-”

“That’s not the point! I’m trying to say that you and I should krck them before they krck us,” he says, slashing across his throat with his finger. “The chick will definitely make merge, but the guy’s vulnerable.”

“But Albert is nice,”

“B-but Albert is nice,” Patrick mocks. “That’s what you sound like. You’re the most vulnerable player on the team, since you’re not in an alliance.”

“But you aren’t either!”

“Please,” he says, slicking his hair back. “I’m unexpendable.”

---

PATRICK: “Talking to him is like trying to teach a can of sardines to sing opera,”

---

Mal snaps a quick picture of Bonnie and Max as they sleep beside each other and quickly giggles to herself as she uploads it to her blog. 

“Bonmax is so trending on Twitter right now,” she squeals maniacally. “People are having discourse over whether it’s moral or not to ship them, since they’re so mlm/wlw solidarity-coded.”

Ass massages their temples. “I don’t know what any of those words mean. Stop talking to me,”

“Isn’t it weird to ship them since they’re both in relationships?” Courtney asks, yawning. "I mean, rpf is-"

“As if. It’s called fanon interpretation,” Mal crosses her arms. “My mutual is a total Maxulia shipper and he’s got like 1.3k followers.”

“A WHAT?” Julia shouts from down the bench. 

Across the cabin, Staci stretches and turns to the rest of the team, who are still fast asleep. 

---

STACI: “Okay, so, a part of my undergrad program is about leadership- I was hoping to take the hit points by really overcompensating on my participation and my exams, but... maybe this show would be good practice,”

---

“Up, up, rise and shine!” she shouts, pacing up and down the bench and clapping their hands. “Let’s load up on breakfast and then hit the books for strategy!”

“Hm?” Kelly mumbles, half-awake. 

“What books?” Max asks, rubbing his eyes. “The Art of War?”

“That’s an excellent suggestion,” Staci says, bouncing a pointing stick in their hand. 

---

STACI: “So, in most groups, everyone will assume the role of a communication maintainer- but since our team is so divided, I’m just going to try to do all of them before everyone gets on board. First up: Social-Emotional,”

---

“Does anyone have any more ideas? I’m all ears!”

“Ooh, me! I do! I have lots of ideas!” Phillip says, picking up his notebook and rushing over. “Do you want to hear a poem?”

“I would love to!” Staci smiles, watching as Phillip leafs through several crude crayon gore drawings to get to the poems. 

“Who died and made her queen?” Max grumbles. Bonnie elbows him and he rolls his eyes. 

---

MAX: “Okay, admittedly, I haven’t exactly been picking up the slack here. But who could blame me? This team is hopeless! Besides, I have… other things to worry about,”

---

“Good morning, passengers! We’ll be landing in about twenty minutes, so buckle in and hold on tight!” Chris shouts. 

Everyone who’s up scrambles back to their seats and straps in as the plane begins nose-diving, much to everyone’s horror. Bonnie and Max hold onto each other as they head straight down, and Mal makes sure to get and upload and picture before returning to screaming with the rest of the cast. 

At the last second, Chef pulls up and the plane lands smoothly on the tarmac and the doors open with a hiss. 

The morning is crisp, cloudy, and chilled as everyone steps down the rickety stairs and onto the pavement. 

“No amount of first class perks will ever make up for these landings,” Sha-Mod says, rubbing his back. 

Patrick follows him out, cracking his neck and grinding his teeth. 

“Welcome one, welcome all, to Wales!” Chris says, gesturing to the rolling green hill behind him. 

Mal looks from side-to-side. “Where?”

“Here, you idiot,” Ass snaps, putting their hands on their hips. 

“No, where are the whales?”

Courtney sighs and pinches the bridge of their nose. Julia just rolls her eyes. 

“Nice team you’ve got there, sweetheart!” Patrick yells from across the tarmac. She grits her teeth. 

---

PATRICK: “Now that Julia and I are back to sworn enemies, we make quite the pair of rivals. I mean- she’s her team’s leader, I’m my team’s leader, she’s cunning, I’m brilliant, she’s decent, I’m gorgeous… like a match made in Hell,”

---

“Wales?! We’re only an hour from my grandma's house!” Sha-Mod says merrily, jumping with joy. 

Michela raises an eyebrow. “You’re from Wales?”

“No, England is right over… there, somewhere,” he gestures vaguely off into the distance. Michela shrugs. 

“Your first stop is Cardiff. To make things a little more fun- for me- we decided to make it a little scavenger hunt,” Chris says, pulling out three slips of paper. “These will have the clue to your next location.”

“Um,” Courtney says, reading Team Yaoi’s slip. “Are these-?”

“These are in WELSH!” Ass says. “None of us can read this!”

“Too bad,” Chris shrugs. “Shoulda thought of that before you came to Wales, huh?”

“YOU BROUGHT US HERE!”

“Beautiful language, isn’t it? I love the use of W's. Well, see you at your next stop!” the host says, waving goodbye and walking into the plane. Ass groans. 

Julia sighs and ropes in the team. “Okay, so Mal can run Google Translate on her phone. That’ll give us a head start, but we gotta stick together, okay?”

Courtney looks up to Mal, who’s happily typing away. “Where did Mal get a phone? I thought I trashed hers back in Chicago?”

“I think she steals them, but that’s not important. Let’s just avoid fighting. That’s all I ask of you,”

Staci watches the scuffle from afar and shakes her head, grinning. 

---

STACI: “Authoritarian much? Everyone knows you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,”

---

“Okay, team, let’s all go around in a circle and brainstorm. I wanna hear ideas from everyone,” Staci says sweetly. “Kelly, why don’t you start?”

“Maybe it’s a code. Ooh, does anyone here speak hieroglyphs?”

“That’s a great point, Kelly. Does anyone here speak hieroglyphs?”

Max grits his teeth. 

“No one? Okay, Bonnie?”

“I can get back in the plane and grab my tablet. If I can connect to the internet, we can-”

A loud whoosh and a strong current of air blows past the group as the plane takes off. Bonnie sighs. “Okay. I’m out,”

“Max?”

“Murder-suicide,”

“Okay, well, I’m not sure that’s very helpful, but thank you for sharing,” Staci says. “Phillip?”

“I actually had a dream about this once, except I was in an airport that was also a petting zoo, and it was in China but everyone was speaking in Arabic, and I had to get to the pretzel stand but no one could hear me because I was invisible,” he pauses once he notices everyone’s blank expressions. “I have prophetic dreams, by the way.”

---

PHILLIP: “They all hate me,”

---

“And then I was suddenly in my grandma’s house, but the dishwasher was in the bedroom, and my buddy Eric's Uncle Dale was there, and then-”

“Okay, ENOUGH,” Max says. “Let’s just find someone and ask.”

“Now there’s an idea! I knew this would work eventually,” Staci claps. Max glares at her. 

---

MAX: "Staci's always been a little high on her own fumes. Which is to say, completely and utterly detached from anything that resembles reality,"

---

Team Mojo trudges through Cardiff, Michela leading the rest of the group behind her like a mother duck and a line of ducklings. She holds up their slip of paper to street signs, restaurant names, and any Welsh she can find. 

“Anything yet?” Patrick says. “I didn’t do my 4k gold face mask last night and I’m feeling puffy.”

“Calm down, your royal highness,” Michela snaps. “Unless you have a better idea?”

Sha-Mod scratches his chin, looking around the city. A strong breeze blows past them, pulling off Sha-Mod’s face napkin. He screams in terror and runs after it. 

“We lost him again,” Albert says, turning as Sha-Mod runs off. 

“He’ll find his way back. He’s like a pigeon,” Michela murmurs, walking ahead. 

---

SHA-MOD: “Two seasons ago, I said that I would never show my face on TV- and I meant it! I have withstood lakes, small, vicious animals- Scary included- explosions, and hurricanes- I guess the stress of being alone this season was just too sha-much for Lightning,”

---

Sha-Mod walks back in frame with a bag of chips tied around his face. Patrick rolls his eyes. 

“Hey, guys! We found a match!” Michela says, bringing the group back towards her. She holds up the paper under a sign off in the distance. “National Museum Cardiff, up ahead!”

---

“I think I’m doing pretty well,” Staci says, leading the group behind her as they walk through the city. Kelly nods. “You’re doing great!”

“We’ll have this team put back together in no time!” she says confidently. “Just a little Social-Emotional nurturing, and I’ll bring together a safe and welcoming environment. That’s the first step- I learned it in communications class.”

“Wow, impressive! College must be fun,” 

“It is, I’m learning a lot. Honors is tough, but I’m tougher, right?” they grin. “That’s what my mom says.”

Kelly nods. Max rolls his eyes from behind them. 

---

KELLY: “Watching our little friend group grow has been a real treat- I know not everyone gets to do that. Austin is in a relationship, Staci is in university, and I’m… well, I’m here!”

---

“Miserable,” Max mutters, kicking a rock along the road. He sighs loudly. Bonnie tries to ignore him. Then, he sighs again. Louder. Bonnie grits their teeth. He sighs again, groaning a little this time, and they finally give in. 

“Okay, fine. What’s up?”

“It’s about… well, you-know-who,”

“Figures,” they mutter. “What now?”

Max fidgets with his tie and looks at the ground. “I was given an… anonymous tip… to watch out for them. For him, I mean,”

“An ‘anonymous’ tip, huh?”

He shrugs them off. “Unimportant. I just don’t get why she’s being so distant about it,”

“You trust her?”

“Yes, yes, of course, but… at the same time, do I?” Max thinks aloud. “I want to. It just feels like she’s keeping something from me. I can’t stand being lied to.”

Bonnie grumbles to themselves and then sighs. “I’m… sorry, I guess. What’s your damage? I mean, what’s your deal? I mean… you get what I mean,”

He shifts slightly. “Michela isn’t the first person I’ve been with,”

“Huh. You don’t say,” Bonnie scans him over, raising an eyebrow. “Well… I’m all ears and no lips. The only person I’d tell is stuck in a studio in Toronto.”

“I went to a pretty religious private school. My family isn’t Christian, but it was top in the province, so… well, you know,” he says, looking at his feet. “Before I… um, looked like this, there was a girl I used to see. She couldn’t tell anyone, obviously,” he rolls his eyes. “But it was like she couldn’t tell me anything, either. I guess it was embarrassment, or something, but it was always distance and secrets with her. I could never figure out if she was upset and lying, or being honest, or implying something, and no matter what I did it was always the wrong thing… I’m not an oblivious person,” he insists, pointing sharply. “But I’m not always good at this romance thing. I guess it just makes me paranoid now.”

“Well, damn,” Bonnie says. “So, you don’t think Michela is lying but your train of thought is-”

“Working overtime to convince me she is,” he sighs. “I know it’s irrational but it doesn’t make me sleep any easier.”

“Couldn’t you just talk to her about it?”

Max raises an eyebrow. “Don’t make me pull out the Caesar card again,”

“Okay, but in my defense- not talking about it just forced him and I to spill the beans on live international TV in front of all our friends and peers,” Bonnie says. “Would you rather it be that?”

“I get the point,” he sighs. “I just can’t get this feeling out of my stomach.”

Bonnie lightly punches his shoulder. “We’ll get you there somehow,” 

---

“This is the place,” Courtney says, walking up the steps of the National Museum. 

The rest of the team hovers behind them, watching cautiously as they approach the large double doors. They reach out a hand and grab the handle. The door doesn’t budge. 

Courtney pulls at it again, then turns around. “It’s locked,”

“Try harder,” Ass cups their mouth and shouts. 

“How will trying harder unlock a door!”

Julia sighs and steps between the two. “Shut up! Both of you! Chris might be somewhere around here, or this is some kind of… I don’t know, puzzle. But arguing about it just wastes time and destroys my brain cells!”

The team grumbles to themselves as Julia scans the exterior. Ass storms past Courtney and tries the door again. 

“You’re not going to open it,” they say, watching with an unamused expression. 

Ass struggles, pushing against the floor and leaning back as far as their body will allow them. “It’s just stuck,”

“That’s a funny way to say locked!”

“Not everyone has a weak grip like you, princess!”

Ass roughly yanks the door, shaking it slightly while they and Courtney bicker. After several minutes of scuffling, they release the handle and shout in frustration, kicking the base. 

A slip of paper unlodges itself from the crack between the wall and the door and floats to the ground. Ass grins, swiping it off the stone. “There. See?”

“See what? You didn’t open the door!”

Mal types rapidly on her phone and smacks her gum loudly from the base of the stairs. “Ohhhh, yeah. Forgot to mention, Google says the museum is closed on Mondays,”

Courtney and Ass glare. “That information would’ve been helpful BEFORE WE GOT HERE!”

“Whatever,” Julia says, swiping the next clue from Ass’ hands. "Where to next?"

---

“Sheep?” Max asks as the slightly-annoyed local walks off. “We have to-”

“I know, it’s not my favorite either, but it’s what the clue says,” Staci says. “I’m positive you’re gonna do great, Max!”

He blinks. 

---

STACI: “The next role is the supporter, which is basically just what it sounds like. Let’s get motivated!”

---

Team Friendship rushes to the ends of the city, meeting a large road leading out into the country. Off to the side, sure enough, are three herds of sheep. 

“This is ridiculous,” Bonnie sighs. 

“Sheep farming is an important economy, so I’d watch your tone,” Chris says, dropping in on a jetpack and startling the sheep away. “Glad to see you’ve made it this far- you’re just a few hours away from your final destination. While it’s currently in England, many scholars argue that it was first built right here in Wales- you’re going to Stonehenge!

“Thank you for explaining that, Chris,” Staci says sweetly. Her team unanimously gives her odd looks. 

“You’re welcome,” the host grins. “Now, I’d get to rounding up your herd and setting off- I hear Team Yaoi is hot on your trail.”

---

“Okay, edge of the city- let’s go!” Michela says, pointing ahead. She and Albert run while Patrick walks casually behind them, picking at his cuticles. 

Sha-Mod lingers behind, looking from side to side before hurrying to catch up with the group. 

---

SHA-MOD: “Who am I without Lightning? Without Takes Three?! Am I anyone? AM I STILL SHA-FABULOUS?”

---

Team Yaoi arrives just as Team Friendship sets off, leading two other herds of sheep behind them. The four look between each other nervously. 

“Okay, it’s just some sheep. We can do this,” Courtney says, picking up a stick off the ground and waving it around. “Get! Get! Come on!”

“That is so not how you do that,” Ass crosses their arms. Julia shakes her head and sighs. “We need a herding dog, or something,”

The two stop and turn to Mal behind them. 

---

“Yeah, I don’t know if this is really for me,” Patrick says, chuckling to himself as he watches Michela try to get their sheep's attention. “I’m more of a wolf, not much of a dog, if you know what I mean.”

Michela snorts. “You’re more like an inbred cat with IBS, but sure! Now, move it!”

Albert tries using a stick to guide them, but the sheep graze on, unbothered. He shrugs to her, and she groans.

“I don’t get it. I’m trying everything I learned about,” he says, tossing the stick behind him. A few sheep bleat nervously and walk away. “What! What am I doing wrong?! Animals like me!”

“Maybe these sheep are just neurotic?” Michela mutters. Patrick smirks. 

Seconds later, Sha-Mod comes tumbling out of the city behind them, landing chips-first on the ground. When he stands, the plastic bag is deflated and partially open, and crispy potato wedges are falling from the top. 

Sha-Mod sits up, groaning, and sees the entire herd surrounding him. He shrieks. 

“No! No, it’s okay! They want the food!” Albert says cautiously while he and Michela watch with wide eyes. “Get up very, very slowly, and walk towards us.”

Patrick chuckles. “You’ve got to be kidding. These dumb animals won’t hurt you! If anything, you need to assert your dominance as the more intelligent species through fear! Watch,” he storms over to an ewe, shaking his fist at them. “Listen here, lesser species. I have the upper hand, and I-”

The sheep bleats and walks over to him, nuzzling against his pant leg. A few join afterwards, going in circles around his legs and playfully nipping at him. He screams in terror. “GET THEM OFF ME!”

“No! They like you!” Michela palms her forehead and then whisper-shouts. “Don’t scare them! Walk over here, slowly!”

Patrick whimpers in fear and edges forward, shuffling his feet towards Michela. Albert watches in horror. 

---

ALBERT: “All those hours studying, camping with wildlife, volunteering at free-range farms- and it’s Patrick who’s the better shepherd. This is… what’s happening to me?”

---

Patrick finally reaches Michela and throws himself in her arms, crying. She rolls her eyes and pats his back. “There, there. They’re not going to hurt you,”

“Do they bite?” he asks shakily. 

“No,” Albert says from afar. He turns to Sha-Mod, who’s still surrounded by the rest of the herd. “Let’s go.”

---

Team Yaoi walks alongside each other, panting as the day wears on. 

“Wish we could ride these useless things,” Ass mutters. “What are they even good for?”

A sheep angrily bleats at them and they back off. Courtney rolls their eyes and leans in to pet one. “I dunno, I think they’re kinda sweet,”

“Whatever,” they murmur in response, earning another eye roll from Courtney. 

Julia hangs at the back of the group, watching the two up front. Mal darts into frame for a moment, running around her ankles and barking before circling the group once again. 

The sound of laughter and sheep appears from behind the team and Julia turns a bit to catch a glimpse of Team Mojo following them up the crest, sheep in line and following Sha-Mod and Patrick in the front. 

The latter grins and waves as they pass by. “See you at the finish line, sweetie!”

Julia grimaces, but waits til the team disappears up ahead to make comment. 

“I hate that guy,”

“What’s your deal with him, anyway?” Courtney asks. Mal pops up out of nowhere, covered in grass and dirt, and states matter-of-factly: “Exes. Messy breakup, but even messier relationship,” and then she ducks back to the ground to run around the herd again. 

Julia rolls her eyes. “Yes, thank you, Mal,”

“Ooh, fun. Any juicy gossip to share?” Ass asks, crossing their arms and grinning. 

“Well, I-”

The familiar ringing of the song bell sounds and she grits her teeth. “No way am I going to-”

“It’s sing or lose!” Chris says, popping into frame on his jetpack. “And from the looks of it, your team can’t risk losing you. So get singing! Oh, and for the challenge, why don’t we throw some Welsh in there?”

Julia palms her forehead and sighs. “I love Wales in the springtime, rwy’n caru Wales in the fall,”

“Good job, Jules, keep it up!” Courtney cheers on. 

“It’s the country of love in the summer, but now it’s just a bummer! Cause-”

Far up ahead, Patrick clears his throat. “Julia broke my heart and chewed it up and spit it out and then stepped on it and threw it down a sewer and called it names and then laughed!”

Michela rolls her eyes. 

“Oes, my friends, you must never trust a girl!” 

Julia goes on front behind. “Oes, my friends, he’ll make you wanna hurl!”

“Oes, my friends, she will,” Patrick pauses to take a deep breath. “Break your heart and chew it up and spit it out and step on it and throw it down a sewer and call it names, and then laugh!”

“Oh, brother,” Michela mutters. Albert nods in agreement. 

Far ahead of them, Team Friendship picks up with Staci: “Oes, my friends! We are gonna make it through!”

Max grits his teeth as their sheep run off again. “Um, no, my “friend”, we just lost another ewe,”

Back to Julia: “Oes, my friends, I’m telling it to you,”

“Oes, my friends, now I’m telling you the truth,” Patrick says up ahead. 

Julia takes a deep breath. “If you date a boy you met on TV and then break up with him, and then break up with him again, and then finally actually break up with him, even though you were nothing but nice, you will still-”

Patrick picks up as the tempo changes. “We end up on TV! She won’t even see me! And the girl won’t even admit I dumped her FIRRRRST!”

“Is it over?” Michela asks, holding her head. Albert nudges her. “We lost Sha-Mod again.”

She grabs his arm weakly. “Can you please. I feel sick,”

Albert looks around her to where Patrick is humming to himself and leading the herd. “I don’t know if I’d feel good about myself leaving you with him,”

“I’ll be fine. Just go deal with Sha-Mod,”

He sighs, but walks off anyway. 

---

Team Friendship arrive first at Stonehenge, despite their sheep going AWOL around them. As soon as they reach the finish line, Max collapses in the fetal position on the floor. 

“YAYYYY, we did it!” Staci pumps her fist. “Go, team!”

Kelly squeals and claps their hands. Phillip watches as Bonnie sits down next to Max’s lifeless body and pokes him with a stick until he moves. 

“Do we win something,” the goth asks, balancing their head in the palms. 

Chris, sitting in a plush chair and enjoying a cup of tea, shrugs. They grumble to themselves. Team Yaoi arrives next, looking around. 

“I guess we lost them,” Julia says with barely-restrained joy. 

---

JULIA: “Would Patrick being gone solve all my problems? No. But it’d be sooooo satisfying, wouldn’t it?”

---

“I guess you did, but we can’t do the next part of your challenge without all teams available, sooooo…” Chris says. “Time to wait!”

The teens groan. 

---

“Sha-Mod!” Albert yells, wandering the rolling green plains. “Sha-Mod? God, how can anyone get lost out here? There’s nothing!”

He takes a step forward and hears a loud crunch. He winces. “Please don’t be a snail,”

“Nah, just me,” 

Albert looks down and sighs in relief. He lifts his shoe off the bag of chips and steps off of Sha-Mod, who’s buried in the dirt below him. “Dude. You have to get up and come back to the team,”

“Why should I? I’m no one,” 

“You- okay, you have to get up. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this,”

Sha-Mod rises from his shallow grave and sighs. The bag of chips slips off his face and is carried off in the breeze, and he shrieks. “My crisps!”

“Here,” Albert says, taking off his windbreaker and tossing it over Sha-Mod’s head. “Now let’s go.”

Sha-Mod crosses his arms and turns his head, the windbreaker swaying. “No,”

“Why not?”

“I’m no one. No one needs me,”

Albert takes a long, deep breath. “Okay. Fine. What’s wrong?”

“I lost my Lightning,” he sniffles. “I’m no one under that picture.”

“That’s not true. You have a face,” he pauses. “You… you do have a face, don’t you?”

“A dumb one,” he cries. 

Albert shakes his head and sits down next to him. “I guess I know how you feel. I’ve been feeling like a failure lately, too. A nobody,”

“Did you also go on a reality TV show for three seasons without showing your face and then realize no one really knows you?” 

“Um… no. I just meant more in a symbolic sense,” Albert says, raising an eyebrow. “I just lost my job, my whole life. I don’t really know who I am without it.”

“Oh, I see. I guess I get it. Lightning was my job,”

“Your job was… Lightning?”

Sha-Mod nods. “Now who am I? A sweaty windbreaker?”

“It’s not… never mind,” he mutters. “So, you don’t want to show your face, but you also don't-don’t want to show your face?”

He nods. 

“Okay. Makes sense,” Albert murmurs. “What’re you afraid of?”

“Well, originally I did it because I didn’t want my likeness to be on international TV in front of millions of people, but eventually I just couldn’t take it off! It was like a part of me… now, who am I without it?”

“You’re Sha-Mod. I mean, whatever your real name is,” Albert says. “You’re not a piece of paper.”

---

ALBERT: “There are a lot of things I’ve said today that I’d never imagined myself saying before. And yet, they make perfect sense. What is wrong with this show,”

---

Sha-Mod sniffles. “Or a windbreaker?”

“Or a windbreaker,” Albert says reassuringly. “Maybe it’s time to face the world, Sha-Mod. Show us the real you.”

“Um… I don’t know. I think I’m just going to keep this on. I like it,” he says, standing. “Let’s get back to the team.”

Albert sighs, but stands and follows anyway. 

---

Team Mojo arrives at Stonehenge last, trudging themselves and their sheep behind them. 

“FINALLY!” Ass snaps. “We thought you got eaten by… whatever lives out here!”

“British people,” Kelly whispers. Staci nods. 

“Welcome one, welcome all to the final round of your Great British Race-Off!” Chris says, then leans into Chef to whisper. “We’re allowed to use that, right?” Hatchet shrugs. 

“Your final task is simple- a delicious, traditional British feast in front of the scenic Stonehenge,” the host goes on as Chef disappears and comes back pushing a table with a few covered dishes. “Each team will select the player with the strongest stomach- last man standing, wins.”

“It’s British food,” Ass puts their hands on their hips. “How bad could it be?”

“Your first dish: Jellied eels!” Chef shouts harshly. “Now eat up!”

Silence. Ass blinks. “I volunteer Mal,”

“I second that!” Courtney says. Julia shrugs. 

“Um, so… who’s gonna…” Kelly asks slowly. “Cause I’m on a vegetarian diet this week!”

Max rolls his eyes. “Convenient. I say we make the prince of darkness over there do it,” he jabs his thumb backwards to where Phillip is cowering in fear from the rays of sunlight coming out from between the clouds. 

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Bonnie crosses their arms. Phillip shouts Hey! Before scampering behind Chef for shade. 

“C’mon, guys! We can reach a solution that makes everyone happy if we work together!” Staci says. The team glares between each other.

---

STACI: “Role number three: Harmonizer. Preventing and mediating conflict. I can do that, no problem… right?”

---

“Okay, if no one else wants to… I’ll do it,” 

No one on Team Friendship argues, much to Staci’s horror. Across the lawn, Team Mojo isn’t faring much better. 

“It can’t be me. I’m vegan!” Albert says, raising his hands defensively. 

Patrick grumbles. “I have a fragile palette,” 

“I’m British intolerant,” Michela says. 

As the three bicker, a hero emerges from the fog. “I’ll do it,”

Everyone turns. Patrick holds back a laugh. “You’ll do it?”

“I’ll do it! It won’t phase me!” Sha-Mod insists. “I’m immune! And thanks to my new best friend, Albert-” Michela turns to Albert with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs and mouths talk later. “-I know I can do anything I set my mind to, with or WITHOUT my sha-swag!”

Team Mojo stares for a few moments before Patrick shrugs. “Better him than me. Go get ‘em, tiger!”

---

Sha-Mod, Staci, and Mal sit side-by-side at the long table, staring at their uncovered platter of gelatin and eels. 

“Mmmm, eel-icious!” Chris chuckles. “You’ll get five whole courses of delicious, top-tier British dining. The last man standing- or alive- wins first class and immunity for his-or-her-or-their team. Ready?”

Sha-Mod nods confidently. Mal scrolls through her phone. Staci is pale. 

“Dig in!”

Sha-Mod starts off courageously, shoveling in forkfuls of eel. Mal chews casually, typing something with her free hand. 

Staci pokes at the meal with her fork. 

“Come on, we don’t have all day!” Max shouts. Kelly elbows him. 

“You’ve got this, girl!”

Staci smiles nervously, and then takes a very slow, very cautious bite. She immediately gags and coughs. Albert winces from nearby. “I don’t know if I can watch this,”

After a grueling ten minutes (most of which was waiting for Staci to finish) Chef rolls out the next course. “Black pudding, a staple of the classic English breakfast,”

Staci sighs with relief. “You know, pudding actually sounds good,”

“Oh… noooo…” Sha-Mod mutters. Their smile drops. 

Chef pulls off the silver covers on their dishes, revealing black hockey-puck like pellets. “Pig’s blood and fat, a la mode,”

Albert goes pale and turns around. 

---

ALBERT: “I don’t have a problem with other people eating meat. When it’s, you know, not condensed into a black disk and made of blood,”

---

Sha-Mod tears into his pudding like a wild animal. Staci squirms and looks back and forth between their plate and their team behind them. Kelly gives them a thumbs up. Max rolls his eyes. 

By the time Sha-Mod and Mal finish, Staci takes her first bite. 

“Course number three: dressed tripe! While its popularity has wavered since the Victorian era, some places still enjoy this yummy meal of boiled and bleached stomach lining,”

Sha-Mod is beginning to cough and wheeze as he barrels through each platter. Staci is gagging between each bite. Max rolls his eyes. 

---

MAX: “Better her than me, but at the same time: I’m glad to see little miss perfect isn’t such a genius, after all. Her little dream of leading the team is cute, but come on- she’s the human equivalent of a marshmallow,”

---

Mal slurps up each bite with ease, popping in a pair of earbuds to watch YouTube while she eats. Team Yaoi watches, bewildered. 

---

MAL: “I’m used to eating whatever I can find. For the last six days of my fifth annual One Piece binge, I survived on canned tuna from the Cold War era and rainwater,”

---

“Next up, pork pies!”

“Oh, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Staci says, looking to Sha-Mod. He shrugs. Chef rolls out a thick pie, full of pink meat and she whimpers. “I-I don’t know if I can…”

“Don’t you dare lose!” Max shouts. “You need to set a good example for the team!”

She frowns and takes a cautious bite. Albert, now a sickly shade of green, leans on Patrick’s shoulder for support. He quickly swats him off and Max grins as Albert lands in the grass. “How’s it taste, Staci!”

“Bad!” she shouts back. “It’s too much meat!”

Albert groans. 

---

“Well, well, well. I’m impressed!” Chris says, pacing between the three. “Not a single chicken yet. Since you’re all still here, we’re making this a race to the end!”

Chef brings out the final platters, setting them before each player. “First player to finish wins! Welcome to your final round- stargazey pie!”

“Aww, that’s so cute! Are they shaped like little stars?” Kelly asks. 

The host grins widely. “Not… exactly,”

Chef pulls off the silver covers and reveals three perfectly normal pies- but each is full of fish heads gazing towards the sky. Staci goes pale. 

“Ready? Set? Eat!”

Mal twirls her fork around her fingers and takes a deep bite without looking away from her blog. Staci swallows deeply and begins cutting up the meal while Sha-Mod peers down at it from under the windbreaker. 

“Sh-Sha-Mod!” Albert says from the ground. “My coat! Please don’t get anything on… my coat…” and then he faints again. 

Sha-Mod pauses and thinks for a moment. Then, he stands. 

“You’re right, I don’t need this anymore!” he says. 

Patrick holds up a finger. “I don’t think that’s what he meant,”

Sha-Mod ignores him. “It’s time to stop hiding. I don’t need to be anyone but myself!”

He tears off the windbreaker, tossing it to the side. Everyone gasps as Sha-Mod reveals himself to be… a perfectly average white boy. 

“Are you kidding me!” Ass shouts. 

Sha-Mod takes a deep breath. “It feels good to breathe. And I can finally see you guys!”

Michela massages her temples. Patrick shakes his head sadly. 

“All this time, I’ve been hiding- initially, I was afraid of being seen humiliating myself- but I think I was just afraid of being myself. Well, I’m not afraid anymore. I’m Sha-Mod, and I’m going to win this thing!”

A loud ding rings out and the camera pans over to Mal, who’s just finished her meal. She pushes the plate back and posts a Tweet. 

“And Team Yaoi has won… again!” Chris says. “Since Sha-Mod’s plate is untouched, we’ll be seeing Team Mojo at the elimination ceremony.”

Team Yaoi cheers. Once the fanfare has died down, Julia grins and waves goodbye to Patrick. 

---

JULIA: “Now, all I have to do is convince the team that Patrick has got to go. Not that it’d be hard. I mean… look at him,”

---

Julia peers around the corner of first class, looking both ways before creeping down the hall. She stops outside the bathroom confessional and waits for a moment before Albert walks out. 

She grabs him by the windbreaker and quickly covers his mouth, looking around for witnesses again before pulling him away. “We’ve gotta talk,”

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” he whispers sharply. 

“Shut up. Listen, I think we can all agree that Patrick is doing nothing but being a big baby drama queen, as per usual,” she says. “I want him gone. You want him gone. Your little girlfriend wants him gone. This is a no-brainer.”

Albert raises an eyebrow. “What do you get out of this?”

“Satisfaction,” she scoffs. “I know Patrick. If you don’t get him first, he’ll get you.”

Julia releases him and walks off quickly. 

From around the corner, Patrick glares. 

---

“Team Mojo- not looking too great, huh?”

The four remaining players look between each other. Chris continues. “Michela, you’re safe. Albert, you too,”

“Patrick- you’re not exactly a fan favorite here. And Sha-Mod, your revelation cost your team the win,” he goes on. Patrick smirks and crosses his arms tightly. Sha-Mod looks nervous, his expression visible for the first time. “Patrick….

You’re safe. Sorry, Sha-Mod.”

“What?” Michela asks, standing. “That’s impossible, we all voted for Patrick!”

Chris shrugs. “Hey, I just count the votes. Don't shoot the messenger,”

Albert guides Michela back down to her seat. Patrick looks back. “Some team, huh?”

“Why are you surprised! We hate you!” Albert hisses. Patrick glares. 

“Well… I had fun,” Sha-Mod says, strapping on the chute. “Thank you, Albert. My boyfriend and I’ll write a song about you!”

Albert forces a smile and a double thumbs-up. Sha-Mod walks to the plane door, salutes, and jumps out backwards. “Don’t forget to pre-order our Christmas albuuuuuuum,”

“What an exit,” Chris says. “Well, off to the hot tub!” and with that, he leaves the contestants in the cabin. Patrick stands shortly after, making glaring eye contact with both Albert and Michela, and then disappears. 

Albert glares back. 

---

ALBERT: “I had a sort of... revelation today. Sha-Mod is right- everyone’s hiding behind some kind of mask. While his was… well, literal, mine was my job. And now that it’s gone, all I’m left with is me,” a long pause follows, and he smiles widely. “I guess what I’m saying is that no one is prepared for what’s coming.”

[thenixkat]

Go, Ted! Handpicked to help defend the multiverse. Also chosen to represent the Earth 4 heroes in this crossover event

Again, Ted is strong as hell. Holding up a whole grown man's full weight with one arm

Isn't that the fucker that was fighting dr fate in the Rebirth Blue Beetle run? also 45,000 years b4 the present… a bit overestimating how long humans have been around

superhero mentality I swear. Just cause you got attacked after being invited/forced to go somewhere doesn't mean it was a trap/set up on the part of the inviter

also, the only things that actually hurt the shadow demons have been shown to be the Scarab, the Green Lantern's light, and the lights in the Monitor's ship turned up to full brightness

ok yeah, that Atlantean is the same character but… he's an antagonist in the rebirth Blue Beetle story for… reasons. And looking at his wiki he was not a fucking villain until post-crisis stuff

also fucking superheroes assuming the Monitor lied to them b/c things are going to shit and not dude had a plan but it isn't working like he thought it would

mfers really be jumping to conclusions and wanting to fight someone about it

local asshole villain Dr Polaris really said 'fuck yeah! let's kill some Nazis!'

while Ted would also like to kill some Nazis, he's focused on the mission they got sent there for. Also, the Ted being a mama's boy thing has come up twice this far in this crossover. That is entirely fucking new, Ted never mentioned his mom in his og comics

so man got brought over to the DC universe and they made him more flirty and a momma's boy

of course, I do have to question why in this fight the shadow demons get zapped from just touching Beetle while in the first encounter that didn't happen

of course, it hurts like hell just to get touched by the shadow demons

the Monitor is disappointed that the Beetle doesn't work as effectively against the demons as he thought the Scarab would so he sends the fucker home, really?

Also, I guess Jaime would be plowing through these demons like tissue paper then if he were in this

also, Ted having the Scarab in the first place is another retcon but it's a very minor change, he's still a tech hero since it doesn't actively give him powers

but the passive protection from demons is fascinating

cause like from Khaji Da's narration at the end of the Reach arc it did bond to Ted too, it was just too damaged to do shit for him

of course, we need superheroes to fight so now Ted thinks that he'd been kidnapped and fed lies

hey someone aware that this fighting and these thoughts feel forced

the Anti-Monitor boosted Psycho Pirate's powers and is making him influence people on the 3 remaining Earths to fling themselves into the antimatter waves and fight the heroes that try to stop them

heheh Ted really the cosmic representative of Earth 4. He's literally just... a guy but apparently he was that popular

Khaji Da listening to this in Ted's pocket: The Oans have no equals… what are we chopped liver?

I'm just picturing the Reach and their kin on the other side of the known universe seeing shit go down and just going 'ugh, we're gonna loose so many days of productivity over this' and just phase shifting into the Bleed and watching the Oans and lanterns get their shit rocked

again I'm just imagining the Reach watching all this fuck shit going on and going, that is not my problem

will finish reading the issues with Ted in them remaining for this crossover later. It's given me a bunch of thoughts

also, just the Spectre is fucking useless, yer telling me it goes after fuckers who've escaped the vengeance of man and there's a whole league of supervillains just sitting there unsmote

Superheroes said you are not allowed to retire from being a superhero even if we know that you are actively dying every time you use yer powers

the cosmic treadmill can do shit but none of the magic users that's wild. Fucking run fast enough and you can travel across dimensions

Wild that we can time travel to save the universe when the plot calls for it. That we can create a massive time paradox to save the universe when the plot calls for it. But Booster Gold can't be allowed to use time travel to save his best friend Ted Kord from getting shot.

combining the forces of many heroes and villains fuckers are going back in time and across the universe to 'defeat' (read kill, everyone is ok with killing this time) the ANtiMonitor.

Also, imagine DC Comics buying you out so they can have yer characters and then kill off all but one of yer characters in a crossover event.

Also, why did observing the Big Bang lead to the creation of the antimatter universe in the first place or open a second antimatter gate when someone did it again?

The superheroes without powers applicable to fighting cosmic beings really just here for moral support, huh?

[emodialisse]

The guy from GamingWins really gets me, used a whole video just analyze the stupid little details that I tend to notice too.

Not sure about hater, but yeah, it's a bit sad. But at the "bright side" Doc Ock and Spider-Man's origin stories had a bit of instinct to it since the beginning (get it? Animal analogy, hah), both suffered from a radioactive accident that changed their lives but decided to follow their own path after that. And it's amazing how the game managed to bring this together rather than just implying like the comics did.

The exception is that one Tom DeFalco story where he decided to write Otto as someone who views his and Spider-Man's conflict like a cord primal thread to hold their relationship together, something that gives him purpose, to look forward to the next day.

Like Scott Snyder said in a comic con panel on his story "Death in the Family" that Joker sees Batman and him as "these two halves where he says, you love me the way I love you, and they're essential parts of one conflict and it's the only conflict that matters in Joker's mind".

So the game offers us a chance to connect with their relationship, through their mutual project together. And makes sense that said project will always mean something to them even though the concept is deep covered in many layers of hate and regret.

Yuri Lowenthal is really the perfect Peter Parker voice imo. And yet he's totally humble about it. He said in one episode of the podcast Super Conversations With Hero Mentor that he felt "terrified about playing the part and wake up everyday feeling like he was going to screw up something".

I saw many people compare this scene to Far Cry lol. Anyway, it's one of my favorite sections from the game and I have the dialogue between Otto and Peter memorized because I tried to find this full scene in other gameplays.

It's really on the nose, but I love how the sequence changes when we go further into Peter's self degrading subconscious, Bill Salyers voice acting as Doc Ock and my boy Scorpion being a creep.

I think takeout's on Otto, and Peter brings the coffee. He knows the place well, it's the Coffee Bean after all, they give him a good discount.

He gets my humor too. Call me later?

If I stop to talk about this I will get a little Pepe Silva insane, yeah. Like the first scene with Otto, he gets off the power damperer and Peter scorts him away from it, the camera pans out and instead focus on these two as to say "this is their story, yeah the Octopus arms are a product of it but give your attention to these two first".

Or when Otto first rises with the help of his arms, he prefers to hover over Peter instead of talking to an eye level, because when he does it's to give Peter false reassurance. Otto thinks his place is above everyone else, which is why is cathartic to him "for the first time in my life, I don't feel like a failure, I feel like me".

Or the many moments the camera goes back and forth to Peter and Otto like they have some sort of synergy together. Anyway, you get my point.

"I have a father, his name was Ben Parker" lol, sorry. Look, I'm not gonna call out anyone, this just my opinion, but I don't understand why people would view Otto as a father figure to Peter. It's a bit cheeky coming from the guy who ships them, I know. But it's not because of some personal vendetta I have against the trope or fanon headcanons, I just don't see the appeal. Their relationship is already pretty interesting how it is portrayed in comics and I don't think a father/son connection really brings much to the table except being pretty boring.

What I see in their relationship is something entirely transactional, until they start to see each other beyond employer and emoloyee. Otto is a very lonely guy, companionship is important to us dumb humans, so he would love to have someone like Peter to take care of to some extent, to share his knowledge, etc, someone he can be close to.

I kind of get it how the writers twisted some screws to throw in a father/son dynamic, just like Spider-Man 2 did. Not gonna try to argue against it, it's just my preference to think of them as friends and enemies with some benefits. Not saying I'm not into that father/son shit, but it's in the gross way. Sorry not sorry.

So, on the topic of their friendship imma show you another guy, this time WritingOnGames, who sums everything I said better than I can articulate here.

(Meme not exclusive from the video)

Otto has stated in an audio draft from the game that he doesn't want Peter to think he's his assistant, but his equal partner.

Although, there's still that invisible barrier, right? I don't think they use to hang out, that's for future fics I didn't finish writing, but I'm certain their socializing takes place mostly through phone calls, e-mails and their Brokeback Lab. He's Peter's boss anyway.

But the way they met was very unusual. Otto didn't even have an internship program, he just followed the word of an old friend (May).

He took interest in Peter and so they spent two years together and have shared many personal stories and dreams with each other. Peter is aware of Otto's habits and personality and vice versa:

Couldn't have said it better myself.

It shows their relationship doesn't revolve just around their work.

And once he finds out Peter is Spider-Man, he doesn't anchor himself on Peter's superiority to humankind right away. He did that later to prove his point right, to make Peter stick to his side.

Otto genuinely shows appreciation for Peter's efforts and genius, but he also admires his good will to do the right thing. In return, Peter strives to make Otto proud of him, but also wants to protect Otto from himself. Which is why he walked so many lengths just to try to take back the Otto he once knew, because it's better if he hears Otto says it was just a miscalculation, right?

Peter knows Otto did wrong to him and everyone else in New York, but still wanted to talk some sense to him, even though Otto insisted he was doing it for the greater good. They're weird, complicated and I love them.

[frozen-fountain]

Find the Phrase

I was tasked by @vcaudley to find the phrases - or vibes that match - "I didn't mean to hurt you" and "What do you stand for?" in my fics.

In turn I tag @bowieandthemickjaggernauts, @ourspecial, @morgan-diablood, @danceswithdarkspawn, and @between-a-ship-and-a-hard-place to find the equivalent of: "It wasn't supposed to end like this".

The first is taken from Into the Night Uncharted; Yuffie is not the type to apologise and admit a mistake directly (though she does a moment later), but badly hurting a friend during combat prompts her to make amends the best ways she can.

“Made it 'specially for you,” she said, pushing a cup towards him. “It's medicinal and stuff.” He sipped from the glass, the tea burning his tongue but sweet with a touch of smoke, like bonfires. “It's good,” he said, placing the cup back on the tray. “Thank you. I assume the bandages are your doing, too.” She nodded. “I keep some on me, just in case. I couldn't work out all the buckles to do it properly.” Vincent returned her nod and took another gulp of tea. They sat in silence, Yuffie cradling her own cup in bruised hands and staring off into the heights. A pair of long-legged birds strode into the water, pecking at something unseen under the surface as a cold wind from the mountain hurled the flowers from the trees. Spring coming to a close, all the world preparing for the bright and dry onslaught of summer. Yuffie rubbed her arms and pulled the robe tighter, pink petals collecting in its folds and spilling to the ground. “Called in Leviathan to help clean up back there,” she said, smoothing the spread of the silk around her on the grass. “We should be cool now since I left the offering.” “Never had you down as the praying sort,” he said, tilting his head a little. She wrinkled her nose. “Hell yeah, I pray. I've seen what the gods can do.”

And the second is taken from You Grow the Flowers Yourself. I don't want to spoil anything for those who might eventually want to play with game (and have somehow avoided this particular cornerstone of nerd osmosis), but if you are familiar with FFVII canon, it's probably easy to guess what just happened:

“All of you,” she snarled, the fire of a gun in place of an arm and the mako-clouded eyes of the SOLDIER boys glimmering in her own. “All of you, you're all the same, ploughing through our lives, flaunting whatever you have that lifted you up like it couldn't -” Her knees trembled, and she gasped for air. Tuesti had a hand on the door frame, too, crying and shaking his head. “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.” Elmyra clenched her fists, her useless hands made for holding brooms that had never protected anyone. She grabbed him by the tie and pulled him down to meet her eyes. “You're all the same,” she snarled. “In here, out there, playing hero around the world. All of you. You have your talents and gifts that the world was good enough to put into your hands and you don't think, you don't imagine for a second what it's like to be trampled with the rest of us!” She pushed him away, pointed fingers jamming into his chest. He stumbled back with a hand reaching out to touch her shoulder. She jerked away and fell back, tumbling to the floor.

[lemonadesoda]

For the OC ask!

Tev: 10, 26, and E!

Nanami: 3, 31, and H!

Lemel: 8, 29, and G!

Thanks Rose!

Tevane

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

He is most likely to lie to his parents or sometimes his boss lmfao, though he prefers lies by omission or downplay rather than blatant untruths because there's more plausible deniability so uhh probably his most frequent lies were things like "Work is too busy, I haven't had a chance to visit or keep in touch" when his mom would bitch to him about coming home for family events. Not exactly *untrue* in that he technically could have taken leave for things but he never did, for personal reasons or otherwise. Does it haunt him? Not explicitly, but it shows in his shit awful mental health so-

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Spaceship! Especially if personally piloting. He looks and acts like an accountant but turns into a specific type of Car Guy while piloting a ship.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

It's a tough question. I think I would like hanging out with him if I managed to get past his shell and if he acted like himself, but unlike Lemel, I'm probably not nosy enough to get there and neither is he, so we would pass each other like ships in the night. On the flip side, I think he would appreciate my good time management and attention to detail but would be ultimately kind of understimulated lol I don't think I'm insane enough for him. Our worksonas would NOT get along however! Captain mode is an uptight bitch LOL

Nana!! Yeah let's talk about Nana!

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

She likes when Tevane reads to her. I can totally see her digging like Tamora Pierce or something. She loves hero stories and chosen ones and creative worldbuilding ideas.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Hmm, this is sort of hard to answer since I haven't figured out the full plot of her story yet, but nominally I'll say Tev and Lemel in her main story because those are the strongest relationships she has and her family of choice etc. I suppose it's valid to say because the story does partly revolve around her realizing they are the people she's most glad to know.

H. What trait do you admire most?

Her creativity and vision! Can be a bit pie in the sky about things, but not everything can be driven by pure rationality and it's important to dream big and paint with bold bright strokes.

Lemel

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

Stop taking things apart (did not stop this, just figured out how to put the things back together). Stop walking out of class just because you don't agree with the teacher (reluctantly stopped this).

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Ooh, this question would make them fidget. I think they're not personally sure. Deep down, they're a bit insecure about whether they do what they do because of a strong sense of ideals or if it's all just selfishness with a thick coating of justification. From an outside perspective though, I think they're doing as well as any person could in terms of living authentically. No one is ever going to match up to what their personal vision of a perfect person acts like but I think some people are far more consistent with their own values than others and I think Lemel is one of them. They believe in fairness and freedom for everyone, that everyone should be empowered to live their best life and that inherently means no one should be able to restrict others' empowerment. So they instinctively rebel against things that impinge upon autonomy and personhood.

G. What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Like as a person? I think they're too overbearing of a personality for someone like me who really doesn't like chaos. Like I can see myself finding them annoying LKDJSFLJD but they're not Bad with people so they might read the room okay and be more chill and we could talk about science. On a meta level, nothing really bugs me about them, I feel like their flaws are important to their character and I like them better for having them and for being complicated and a bit bitchy and a bit of a disaster at times.

[grymmnox]

weekly fic recs #25

i’m a day late again but let’s just pretend i’m not OH I ACCIDENTALY POSTED BEFORE IT WAS FINISHED at least i didn’t lose the entire post

fandom(s): bungo stray dogs, my hero academia (some crossovers, the usual)

ship(s): soukoku, shin soukoku, fyozai, higugin, some gen fics, and there r prob a few background ships here and there

Oneshots

(Life) Turning Around; CheetahLeopard2 - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.1k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Based off of this twitter post: https://twitter.com/daazaaai/status/1175035317583261697?s=20 " Chuuya joining ADA

Kunikida: on the file you filled it says you’re married

Chuuya: yeah

Kunikida:

Kunikida: it’s sort of hard to believe

Chuuya: *turns to dazai* you hear that? our marriage is surreal

Kunikida: *breaks his pen in shock*" But reworded a bit

negotiation breakdown; setosdarkness - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.9k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Dazai and Chuuya bump into each other, descend to a screaming match, and end up as… boyfriends? Husbands? Whatever the hell they are?

“Enemies to Lovers, 1600 words, Fast Burn,” whimpers Atsushi, horrified by the duo’s strange mating rituals.

Crazy Cat Lady in the Making; RayvnAshes (IronScript) - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 2.5k words | chuuya/dazai, dazai & oda, atsushi & dazai

summary:

When Dazai found a litter of kittens abandoned in an alleyway, all he intended to do was keep them alive long enough to take them to a vet and then animal shelter in the morning. But of course he had to get attached.

Street Rat; RayvnAshes (IronScript) - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.1k words | chuuya & dazai, dazai & kunikida, dazai & kyouka, dazai & yosano, chuuya/dazai

summary:

As time goes by, people start to pick up a few things about Dazai's past from before the Port Mafia.

let’s never do this again; elijay - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.6k words | ADA & dazai

summary:

“Dazai,” Atsushi asks one day, “how did you come to be here? At the Agency, I mean. How’d you join?”

/

“I was there, you know,” he remarks all the sudden.

When he doesn’t continue, Kenji prompts, “Where?”

Dazai’s eyes darken, and redden. “When Mori killed the old boss.”

(standalone)

Misery Loves Company; Kevy_Grace - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 10.3k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

“Are you sure? Maybe you weren’t hiding, maybe you were trying to find a box to stand on!” Dazai posits, all too cheery about insulting Chuuya’s height, as he contently drums his fingers.

“Hah?! I don’t need a box to see over the counter!” Chuuya vehemently argues, his cheeks a light shade of pink, as Dazai maintains his smirk.

“Mm, are you sure about that?” Dazai repeats as if he already knows the truth and it only makes Chuuya turn even more red. “A pint-sized garden slug like you needs all the height he can get,” he adds on with a faultless, beaming smile and, honestly, Chuuya can’t decide whether he’s insulted or enamored. Maybe a bit of both.

Or: What if Hanahaki were contagious? What if Chuuya is pining, but Dazai is choking on flowers?

into continents and cars; halfbloom (diphylleias) - bungo stray dogs

mature | 25k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Running from everyone and everything he's ever known with nothing but a duffel bag and the hat on his head, Chuuya hesitates when a stranger covered in bandages offers him a ride for free—all fake smiles, sharp edges, dark eyes. Maybe, he thinks, he isn't the only one trying to escape the ghosts of the past.

Your Love Is Worth More Than Its Weight In [Mari]Gold[s]; architect_of_stars - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 10.3k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

For years now, Osamu Dazai has been trying to die. So when he finds out that he actually is, he should be happy, relieved, victorious even, but he’s not. Because nestled in his bandaged hands are marigold petals, blinking back at him in bright orange.

In which Osamu Dazai suffers from the Hanahaki disease.

like a bed of roses (there’s a dozen reasons in this gun); blueoysterkit - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 7.2k words | chuuya/dazai, dazai & yosano, akutagawa & dazai, chuuya & kouyou, chuuya & dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

Dazai scoops the flower up and tosses it in the toilet bowl. The blob of orange and black swirls away with the water, and he swallows against the ache in his throat.

This is not the way he thought he would go out. He knew he’d have to face Chuuya again after leaving the Port Mafia, but he didn’t expect…

Well. Dazai supposes he is going to get that lover’s suicide after all.

~~~

The Soukoku Hanahaki AU no one asked for.

Canon Divergence.

my soul is too much charged with blood of thine; soupthatistoohot - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 10.4k words | chuuya/dazai, dazai & kunikida, chuuya & kunikida

summary:

Chuuya had a working theory: only weirdos went to the grocery store after 8pm on the weekend.

So should he really be so surprised that on one particular evening Dazai Osamu happens to be one of them?

OR:

Chuuya and Dazai accidentally meet after not having spoken since they broke up in high school four years prior — and then Dazai refuses to leave Chuuya's life again.

i hate auditioning for anything; yuki_MXIVo - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 5.2k words | dazai & kunikida, ADA & dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

Dazai knew, before he set a single step into the agency, that they did things differently. He would not be allowed leniency with murder, nor would torture be a method to extract information, so on, so forth. Don't punch orphans—whatever. These are all things he was expecting. The...vegan thing was not.

mid autumn; yuki_MXIVo - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 3.2k words | dazai/fyodor

summary:

“But you tried to kill each other! How could you possibly be married!? You really tried to kill each other!”

“Yes?” Fyodor raises an unimpressed brow. “Romance is not the center of everything. You're surprisingly close-minded, I see.”

/// several months after the decay of angels case closes, Fyodor shows up at the agency seemingly out of the blue. He'd been thought dead.

bleeding stitches; calysland - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 3.7k words | dazai & yosano | READ TAGS

summary:

Not finding the mental strength to deal with it himself, Dazai finds himself in the agency's infirmary, arms dyed in the crimson of his own blood and covered in slashes. Convincing himself to call Yosano for help was hard enough, but the two's meeting and conversation in the middle of the night causes some old wounds to open up and it hurts more then the actual cuts covering his body.

The worst thing is, the wound is shared, and it hurts both of them.

Complete

once a killer, always a killer; elijay - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2 chapters | 984 words | ADA & dazai, chuuya & dazai, atsushi & dazai, chuuya/dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

“Hmm?” not-Dazai (because Dazai would never do what this man has just done in front of them, he would never, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t-) hums. Without a response, he continues blithely, “Well, what did you need?”

(standalone, part of a drabble series)

What’s Your Name?; Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity) - bungo stray dogs

explicit (sexual content) | 51 chapters | 261.1k words | chuuya/dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

"I said, what's your name?"

Dazai snaps to attention to see that Chuuya is staring right at him, and suddenly his mouth feels like sandpaper.

Jesus. Who has eyes like that?!

“Ozai—"

“Huh?”

“Dazoo—"

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Dazai Osamu.”

Sometimes--the worst introductions can last a lifetime.

(High school AU, slice of life, growing up together.)

still still still; icedlightroast - bungo stray dogs

mature | 21 chapters | 112.5k words | chuuya/dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

Finally, Chuuya eloquently said, “I don’t want to date you.” Dazai huffed. “Yeah, well, I’m not too thrilled at the idea of having a crazy rockstar boyfriend. But you got us into this mess, you need to help us get out of it.” Had Dazai gone insane? Nakahara Chuuya and Dazai Osamu, dating? Had Chuuya not made it clear through the dozens of direct and indirect meetings that he despised Dazai with every fiber in his body.

Featuring: drunk tweets, falling in love, horrendous song writing, cheesy interviews, learning how to "fake it," and Chuuya getting over the headache that is Dazai. Not necessarily in that order.

diving back in time; kurigohan_to_kamehameha - bungo stray dogs

mature | 8 chapters | 17.5k words | atsushi & dazai, fukuzawa & ranpo & yosano | READ TAGS

summary:

Atsushi teams up with Akutagawa under Dazai’s command on a simple mission to clean up after a time-traveling skill user, but things go south when he accidentally walks into a trap and finds himself transported eight years back in time. There’s only one thought on Atsushi’s mind when he wakes up in his ten-year-old body: find Dazai and get him to nullify the ability so Atsushi can get back to life as he knows it.

But how is he supposed to search for a single fourteen-year-old boy whose past he knows next to nothing about? Desperate for help, Atsushi finds himself making his way to the only place he can think of to rely on in a time like this — the newly established Armed Detective Agency in Yokohama.

the uncanny valley swings low and deep; Ch_ee_rios - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 6 chapters | 8.1k words | dazai & ranpo, dazai & kunikida, dazai & yosano, dazai & fukuzawa, atsushi & dazai, ADA & dazai, chuuya & dazai, chuuya/dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

When Dazai Osamu first appeared on the agency’s doorstep with an incomplete application and a halfhearted recommendation, Ranpo’s first impression was ‘kill it with fire.’

His second thought was ‘it can’t join the agency.’ Much like a stray cat, Ranpo could see in the thing’s desperate, starved eyes that if it were given a scrap of affection, it would curl up in the nearest sunny spot and never leave. He didn’t need his (an) ability to see that.

(Fukuzawa’s love for strays, unfortunately, devastatingly, rubbed off on them all.)

Or: Five impressions of Dazai and one that happened years and a lifetime ago.

Incomplete

business ventures, and other things like that; tissuebocks - bsd/mha fusion

teen and up | 4/? chapters | 19k words | dazai & Q, eri & hagakure, chuuya & the flags, aizawa & nemuri & yamada, dazai & hagakure, eri & Q, kunikida & midoriya, katai & kunikida | cw in notes

summary:

Nezu smiled pleasantly, but the image was disturbed by the presence of his pointy little teeth. Shouta sometimes forgot that Nezu wasn't human, even within the expanded definition of Mutation Quirks.

"We'd be sorely disappointed to miss an opportunity to begin an… alliance, of sorts, with the Port Mafia. With both them and the MPD attempting to find Kawabata-jukeisha, it’d be perfect timing to secure a certain cooperative attitude with Yokohama—with Yuuei acting on behalf of Musutafu, of course.”

(or: class 1-a and their assorted instructors meet yokohama, mori definitely has something up his sleeve, chuuya is done with everything, and dazai is dazai.)

playing the hero; FallenNiji - bsd/mha fusion

teen and up | 23/? chapters | 118.9k words | ADA & kyouka, akutagawa/atsushi, chuuya/dazai, gin/higuchi, gin & kyouka, ADA & PM, class 1-a & kyouka, kyouka & shinsou, kyouka & poe, aya & kyouka | READ TAGS

summary:

“How’s U.A.? Does it live up to the general public’s expectations?” Ranpo, walking with his hands crossed behind his head, wondered.

“I literally witnessed an attempted murder, discrimination, bullying and experienced a Villain attack in the first month here, Ranpo-senpai,” Kyouka deadpanned.

“Is that a yes?”

(or: izumi kyouka, reformed assassin turned detective, infiltrates u.a. and more or less willingly surrounds herself with well-known pro-heroes and other such law-abiding citizens. what could possibly go wrong?)

[bokettochild]

I did my best, but Aryll stole the show, so sorry about that! I hope this satisfies your cravings!

Ao3 version

-

Link hasn’t been home in a very long while. 

Aryll has been watching, dutifully, from the lookout, and nothing has even come close to approaching the island in ages. Nothing that’s not the normal trading ships and fishermen anyway. She’s seen Tetra’s vessel from a distance, but it’s so very far off that it���s only barely big enough for her to recognize it at all, and then it always disappears again. 

Link left months ago with the pirates. He’d said there was something that had been worrying people that he needed to go look at, and he’d asked her to keep watch over the island for him while he was gone. She’d wanted to go with, but Granny doesn’t like sailing and neither of them want to leave her alone. Not when there's no one else around that they’d trust to keep an eye on her for them anyways. So, she’s been sitting here, keeping watch and protecting the island and hoping Link will return. 

And he finally has. 

The ship sailing towards Outset isn't one she knows, but the figure perched on the deck, peering through her old spyglass at her, is most unmistakably her brother 

“He’s back!” Her feet dance just the slightest bit as she turns to the flock of seagulls that have settled about the lookout with her. “Link’s home, guys!” 

The seagulls don’t appear to care. 

She does though, and she knows Granny will too, so she slides down the ladder like Tetra showed her before and books it for the house, calling out to everyone she passes (what people she does pass) that “Link’s home! Link’s back!” 

They smile and there are some cheers, but none of them is as excited as she is. And why would they be? Link is the hero and Link is their friend, but Link is her big brother, and only her big brother! Only Granny loves him as much as she does, and only Granny will be as truly excited as she is. 

As predicted, the news has the old lady up and out of her chair in a moment, eyes glittering with warmth as she takes Aryll’s arm and hobbles for the door. Their dear Granny is getting older, and she’s not as fast as she used to be, and she needs more help these days than she dd last year, but Aryll is happy to give it. The soft coos of “what a good granddaughter" have become commonplace, but they still make her preen just a bit as she helps her grandmother around and does chores. 

Link used to be the one everyone said that about. Since he’d started sailing and exploring though, he’s known as “a noble lad” or “a brave young man” instead. That’s okay though, because she’s here to take care of Grany, and if that means they trudge slowly down to the beach, then that’s alright, because it takes forever for Link’s ship to dock anyways. 

When, at last, the ship has reached the docks, she and Granny are there and waiting, waiting and calling to Link as he darts about the deck, eyes bright and smiles brighter as he and the other people on the ship help to dock her properly. The moment the last rope is tied though, he’s swinging down off the deck, darting over, and wrapping them both in a warm hug that’s suspiciously tearful. 

“Are you crying?” She asks the shoulder she’s been pulled against. Link’s arms pull her ever so close and she’s not nearly strong enough to hug back as hard, not yet anyways. 

“No, I’m not,” her big brother huffs, sniffling.  

He is. 

Link holds onto them longer than he really needs too, and while she’s missed him too, it’s still a bit longer than she’s really sure what to do with, eventually pushing him off with a little pout. “I'm telling Tetra you’re being a softie.” 

“Yeah?” he chuckles, sitting back on his heels and staring down at her. She hates that he’s still taller. He’s only four years older, it’s really not fair he’s so much taller than she is! “And what’s she going to do about it? Tetra’s a big softie too!” 

“I’m telling her you said that.” 

“No, you will not!” He sputters, already flushing all the way up to his ears. Behind him, someone laughs, but Aryll’s not sure who they are, they're someone she hasn’t met before.  

“I will too!” 

“Do, and I tell her that you’ve called her ‘sweet’,” Link warns, crossing his arms and lording those precious five inches over her again. Maye she should ask Tetra if heeled boots are something she can try getting, the pirate captain got some recently and she looks so very much taller with them on. Even taller than Link is. 

She doesn’t have an answer to the threat though, so she just pouts. 

Granny laughs at them, patting Link’s arm (it’s the closest thing in reach) with a warm smile. “I’m glad you’re home, Link.” 

He swoops down to pull their grandmother into a hug. “Me too, Granny.” 

And while Link clings to Granny, sinking into her arms just the slightest bit, as if he hasn’t seen her in years (and she gets it, being away from Granny is awful) she turns her own attention to the people climbing off the ship behind him.  

There’s a couple of sailor folk that stray off towards the island, but there’s eight men who stand and wait, watching her big brother with various expressions, but most of them are smiling, warm and gentle. They’re pretty, she thinks, nothing like the rough sailors that her brother usually spends his time with, and even the older looking man is remarkably beautiful. She didn’t know men could look like that. Is that what Link’s going to look like when he’s older? Will he be pretty too? 

Glancing at her sibling, she quickly shakes her head. No, it’s simply not possible for Link to be pretty. He’ll probably turn out like everyone else they know, and Tetra will get all the good looks (gosh, is Tetra pretty!) 

These strangers though, she can’t help but stare shyly at them. They’re smaller than a lot of the men she’s met before; most of Tetra’s crew are all big and burly, and these men are...slight in comparison. They look strong enough though, shirts just the slightest bit tight in the sleeves and the shoulders, but they’re so...small. Pretty though. They’re very pretty.  

The oldest looking one has strange markings on his face that curve and sharpen close to his eyes, drawing her attention to them. Only one of them is open, but it’s as blue as the sky on a peaceful day, glittering like the sea and the faint smile that touches his face is like a great fairy’s, all gentle and warm. 

 The one behind him, the other one with face markings, has dark hair that drifts over dark eyes. Eyes like midnight skies, glittering with stars. They’re so dark, his hair is pretty dark too, and against his lighter skin it makes him look like some pretty doll or painting. He’s at least somewhat burly though, although much less than Gonzo, or even Nudge, but he looks like he could handle a tiller alright in a bad squall. 

And then there’s the tall man with the shiny hair. He’s....he’s remarkably pretty. Not more than the others, just...more noticeable? He looks like he should sparkle, and his blue eyes, blue like the fire of a priestess's torches, seem to flicker and dance with the perfect smile he’s wearing. He’s taller than the other one, thinner too, but he’s got a good set of shoulders for lifting with, and even if they are smaller than the pirates’, they’re less slumped too, more like Gonzo’s. 

And those are just the tall ones! There’s one with skin almost as dark as hers, with soft honey-brown hair that hangs over sapphire eyes so bright they might as well glow! He’s softer than the others, his face and shoulders and everything less pronounced and angular, but he still looks like he could handle a storm, maybe even brave it as fiercely as her brother if the way the wind dances around him means what she thinks it does. 

The other people though? They’re small. They’re very small and they look like the wind would just blow them away, or the waves crash their pretty doll faces to pieces if they tried sailing it. Freckles dot two of their faces like constellations, and one of them has scars stretching across one side of his face, light patches around his eyes on the other. The shortest one has eyes that glitter in different colors, nose a tiny button shape and face a little heart. The one with pink hair has pinched up features, but they’re like Tetra’s in that she’s sure they’d look so much prettier if he’d smile; sharp cheeks and jaw and heavy lashes over dusky purple eyes. The scarred one’s eyes are like the fairies in the fountains, blue and green at once and glowing almost, smile a bit wild, crooked, but still so delicate, like he’s some fairy creature walked out of the forest. And the last one! With golden freckles on warm skin and fluffy brown hair over forest green eyes, he looks like a tree spirit of some kind, like what Link told her he met in his adventure! 

She’s never seen such pretty people before, and she can’t help but stare openly. 

 Link doesn’t notice, thank Hylia, and if the men do, they don’t say anything. Rather, one of them, the one with the colorful tattoos, crosses his arms and looks down at her brother (and she can’t help but delight in that they all look to be taller than he is, except the very smallest, who’s maybe just an inch shorter). “Going to introduce us, sailor?” His voice is nice too; rich tenor with warm timbre that makes her wonder what it sounds like when he sings.  

Link turns at the words, releasing their grandmother to smile at the stranger, bright, warm, almost like he does towards Linebeck, although without any of the irritation. “Right of course!” And then, to the group as a whole, he motions to her and Granny. “Guys, this is my baby sister, Aryll, and my grandma!” 

Various greetings are offered from the group in front of her, some tipping heads, others tugging a lock of hair and some bowing slightly. They all seem nice enough though. 

“Grandma, Aryll, these are the heroes of courage I’ve been traveling with, otherwise known as the heroes of Hyrule!” 

Wait. “Like the old country?” She asks, glancing over them. They don’t look that old, but Hyrule drowned ages and ages ago, so how could they come from that place? Unless they’re ghosts like the king boat Link said he’d sailed on? But they look perfectly alive, if a bit tired. 

“Yes...” comes the answer, a little hesitant as Link rubs at his neck, awkward as he looks at her and tries to explain. “It has to do with time travel.” 

“Well, that makes plenty sense then,” Granny announces, clapping her hands together and looking at all the strangers with an eager expression. “Do they have names?” 

Link’s laughter is bright and clear and squeakier than she remembers it being. Is his voice breaking? Does she finally get to tease him about that like Tetra told her to? “Yes, they do, Grandma. They’re all Link!” 

She blinks. Granny blinks. Link just laughs.  

“We have nicknames though, based off of the heroes’ titles we’ve been given,” it’s the tall one with the glittering smile that speaks, setting a hand on his chest as he introduces himself. “I’m the Hero of Warriors, so ‘Warriors’, or ‘Wars’ if you’d rather.” 

“I’d rather,” she giggles nervously, staring up at him. Her ears feel hot. Link stares, eyes darting between her and the one called Wars. He’s starting to scowl just slightly, brows pulling together, just seconds from gnawing at his lip like he does when he’s trying to best determine how to scold her for something. Preferably, she’d like to avoid such a scolding, so Aryll turns her attention to the rest of the men, bouncing slightly on her feet as she peeks around them to look at everyone in the back. “What about the rest of you?” 

The soft looking one smiles, it’s like sunbeams and clean air whipping off the sea, like standing high in the crow's nest and looking out over the whole world spread beneath them. “I’m Sky, hero of the sky lands.” 

“Skylands?” her jaw drops. There’re places in the sky? 

Her brother huffs, rolling his eyes playfully. “You know this, Aryll. Our ancestor traveled into the sky lands, remember? To meet with the Wind People?” 

For some reason that makes a few of the men grin, some look confused, but the one with pink hair snorts a bit, setting a hand on his hip and staring down through lidded eyes at her brother. He’s maybe an inch taller than Link, and she can almost imagine how much that must irk her big brother. “So, the wind runs in the family?” He scoffs the words, cocking a brow. His voice is nice too; sweet and rich, like the golden goop Gonzo brought her once from one of the far away islands, she thinks he called it honey or something? 

His companions don’t seem to think much of his behavior though, and the one with midnight eyes huffs, gaze falling flat on the pink-haired man. “Ledge, please, be nice.” 

“That’s Legend,” Link introduces, “and beside him is Twilight. This here,” he motions to the short one with delicate features and jewel eyes, “is Four. That’s Hyrule,” the one who looks like a wood fairy, “he’s called Wild,” the one who looks like his name, “and this is our leader, the Hero of Time!” 

The eldest man smiles, bowing his head slightly in greeting. Granny’s mouth has dropped open, and Aryll herself can’t help but feel struck with awe. The Hero of Time? Like from the stories? 

Link seems delighted, thrilled, smug even, as he tells them that yes, it’s the hero from the stories, eagerly chattering about the man and the rest of his companions as they make their way up to the house. Even after they’ve got there though, she and Granny are brimming over with questions. The heroes indulge them, or at least, the eldest four do. The younger ones all seem less certain about how to answer things, or how to treat her, and she gets the impression that the one called Hyrule isn’t very used to people smaller than himself, or at least, not little girls. It’s okay though, the Hero of Twilight seems willing to answer all her many, many questions, or tell her who might know the answers if he doesn't himself. 

They’re nice. 

One thing she notices though is that every time she tries to walk over and talk to the pink-haired one, the one they’d called Legend, one of the others will stop her. 

“He’s a bit harsh,” Twilight warns, smile tight, “he probably won’t appreciate all the questions very much.” 

“Why?” 

Glances are exchanged between the men as they enter the house, the pink haired one not following, instead stopping outside and staring out over the island. The others don’t answer her until they’re inside and the door is closed, and then the one called Wars does, sighing as he rubs his neck in the same way Link does. “Vet’s been on a lot of adventures, and it’s made him a bit of a grouch.” 

“He doesn’t tolerate people easily,” Twilight adds, “and we’re not sure how he’ll respond to...kids.” 

“I’m not a kid!” She protests, setting fists on her hips and scowling up at them. She’s got to tilt her head back to see their faces than she does with Link. “I take care of the island and Granny, and I’ve been sailing with the pirate crew too!” 

“Well,” the glittering smile appears again on the face of the war hero, “and how old are you, little lady?” 

“I’m ten!” She puffs her chest out a bit at the words, standing as tall as she can and flushing again as he laughs, warm and bright, smile just the same. 

“Indeed, you really are getting to be a young woman then, aren’t you!” 

- 

The heroes are nice. Wild helps Granny with the food and the rest of them sit with her and Link and listen as she tells them about what’s been happening here, about what news has been brought back by the trade ships and the other vessels that have stopped over on the island. She gets the impression that, for being heroes, they’re all remarkably different in comparison to each other. A wild assortment of people drawn to the same fate as her brother. 

Warriors is like the knights in shining armor from her old storybooks; well mannered, polite, charming, and utterly dashing, but with a stern side to him and, when he thinks the younger ones aren’t looking, his smile seems very sad and lonely.  

Time seems stern and quiet, but there’s laughter in his eyes and a fond light that glitters down at the others. He seems like he’s happier with his life than the knight, or maybe his is just nicer altogether. He says he has a wife, but no kids “yet” and they live in a nice little house in the country, so she supposes it would make sense that he seems so content. 

Hyrule is playful, wary, not friendly exactly, but he tells good jokes and his laughter is like bells. He’s guarded around her, like he thinks he’d break her, or maybe she’d do something to him (she’d never), but he doesn’t scowl at her at all. 

Twilight is amazing. He and Sky are warm and friendly and playful and open. They answer her questions happily and they seem content to sit with her while the others chatter or work. Twilight says he has a little brother around her age, as well as a baby sister. Sky doesn’t have siblings, but she thinks he’d make a fantastic big brother; he’s got all sorts of amazing things to tell her about, he’s funny (although he doesn’t tell his jokes out loud for everyone to hear, just whispers them soft under his breath) and apparently he’s very strong too, so he’d be good at doing work a little sibling can’t, or helping them when they need it. 

Four is quiet. He doesn’t make attempts to talk to her much, but when he does it’s with warmth and a polite sort of regard that makes her feel less like she’s being talked down to, as with some of the older ones and more like he genuinely cares about what she has to say. He’s awfully pretty from up close too, eyes glittering and changing colors like diamonds in the sunlight, and the crooked little smile he flashes from time to time does weird things to her heart.  

She doesn’t get much chances to talk to the other two though. Wild doesn’t sit still, and when he does look at her, talk to her, it’s with this pained little confused look. He keeps shaking himself too, smiling and apologizing and asking her to repeat things because he didn’t hear her the first time. He seems absent, in a weird way, whenever he’s not cooking or helping with the meal, and towards the end of dinner she gives up talking to him altogether. It’s just too much work trying to get him to listen, his mind seems somewhere else, so he can just let it stay there if he’s not going to listen. 

She wants to go talk to the one called Legend, but Link pulls her down beside her before she can reach where the pink-haired hero is sitting and staring out of the window at the sea. He looks sad, wistful, like he wants to be out there on the waves. He reminds her of the old stories Granny used to tell her when she was little, the ones about seal people who can look like hylians and live with them, but which return to the sea unless they're stopped. Big, dark, sad eyes and pretty voices, Granny had said, that's how you’d know a seal person. She’s old enough now to know it’s all stories, but the way he stares at the sea... it looks like he misses it, or maybe something under its waves. 

She wants to ask. She wants to talk to him so badly, and every time someone stops her it makes her want to walk over and ask him even more, ask him why he looks at the ocean that way. 

Granny stops by next to him, setting a hand on his shoulder, making him start as he turns to look up at where she stands over him. She asks something, likely if he’s okay, maybe because she sees it too (Granny sees everything) but he just nods, a polite little smile touching doll-like features before he turns back to staring out of the window, picking at his meal absently, like he forgot it’s something to be eaten. 

She tries asking the other heroes. “What’s wrong with Legend?” 

They share another look, and Link wraps an arm around her shoulders, squeezing a bit. “We’re not sure. He’s been off ever since we came to the Great Sea.” 

“I think he’s homesick,” Sky murmurs, staring over with a similar sad smile at the smaller man. “We haven’t been to his place in a while.” 

Midnight blue eyes dim some, Twilight shaking his head. “I doubt it, did you see that cottage? There’s nothing there but old trophies and tools. If I had to guess, he’s probably just wishing for some peace and quiet, away from all of us for a bit.” 

It’s said like a joke, but she gets the idea that there’s something between the farmer hero and the pink haired one. She doesn’t ask though, because in the end, she doubts they’d explain it all to her. Even Link has glossed over what he's doing with them, guarded and bright, like a glittering door locking away secrets. She doesn’t like it, but she’s getting used to him doing that. So, instead, she listens with half an ear to the heroes who smile at her and watches the one who watches the sea with sad eyes and a pained little smile, one that reflects back at him in the glass of the window. 

For a moment, in the dim reflection of the glass, her eyes catch dark, seal-like ones, ones that look like the ocean at night, all deep and endless and reflecting the stars, but then he looks away again. His lips twitch in a bit of a smile though, and after a moment more, his reflection stares back at her again, weak smile holding just long enough to glitter at her before it falls and he’s staring out again. 

She doesn’t get it, he seems nice enough, why doesn’t Link want her to go and talk to him? 

She stews on the question up until Granny announces that they’d all better head to bed. Most of the heroes don’t seem tired yet, or at least, not ready to sleep yet, but they don’t argue, just help her and Link clear away the low furniture in order to lay out their bedrolls or sling hammocks for those who’d rather. They don’t say much as they work, all knowing Granny’s already gone to bed with kisses for each of them (even the heroes) and wishes for sweet dreams.  

Legend helps sling their hammocks up, working with Link, and he does it like he’s done it a million times. She wonders, as she watches him tie the knots, what sort of places he’s sailed to, if the ocean where he’s from is like theirs. 

(Maybe it’s deeper. Maybe it has seal-people. Maybe he’d learned to tie those knots while watching sailors, peeking up over the waves before ducking down under again before he’d get seen. Maybe he doesn’t sail on the sea, maybe he just came from it.) 

- 

The heroes seem to take forever to fall asleep. Link had allowed her to come sleep with the rest of them, curled up in her hammock in the main room, letting the older ones use their beds. Link had insisted the Hero of Time took his bed, since he’s old and doesn’t handle sleeping on the floor as well as the rest, The others had curled up in a mess on the floor, bedrolls and blankets twisted all around. The one called Hyrule had taken the extra hammock after she and Link had taken the other two, curious and now snoring peacefully, curled up like a baby in its embrace. 

Most of them snore, she’s disappointed to find. Not that the pirates don’t, and goodness knows she’s lived with Link all her life, she knows he snores like the engine on some ships but having that multiplied makes for a difficult time sleeping. It’s fine though, she’s still thrumming with excitement from having Link home! 

He probably won’t stay for long, he didn’t say much about it, but it sounds like he’s on yet another adventure, and those always take a bit. She’s glad that he’s got friends looking out for him though, helping him. Although, watching them over the side of her hammock, it seems his new friends aren’t necessarily the best cut out for this work either. 

Most of them sleep with screwed up expressions, a hand on a weapon or twitch and shiver in their sleep. It’s not the whole night, but they’re all strung tight and restless looking sleepers. Granny said once though, a very long time ago, that there are some people who aren’t used to the sound of the waves, so maybe it unsettles them. Maybe the new noise makes it harder? Which makes her wonder- and she can’t help but glance over to where pink hair peeks out under a blanket- does the one called Legend struggle with the sound of the waves lapping at the beach, or does he sleep peacefully? And she finds herself pleasantly pleased to see that his pretty face is smoothed out, peaceful as he sleeps, and, just as predicted, far prettier without his brows knitted together so harshly. Honestly, it’s a huge improvement, and it makes him look years younger. No wrinkles and stress lines, just soft cheeks and long, dark lashes that kiss freckled skin, lips parted some as he slumbers peacefully. 

Link would call her weird for watching his friends sleep, but they’re in her house, danggit! And what else is she supposed to look at in here? She can’t sleep, it’s normal to look at new things and people and Tetra would probably agree with her! (Never mind that Tetra isn’t very good with people or being normal, but she’s cool, and Aryll would rather be cool than normal!) 

Legend seems to welcome the sounds of the waves though, just as he’d stared out at them sadly. Maybe to him, they are a familiar lullaby, just as they are to her and Link. Deep in the dungeons and cages of the Helmorock King, they hadn’t been able to hear it, and the lack of the familiar sound had set her nearly as ill at ease as the strangers and the danger and the giant monster keeping them trapped. The other heroes seem unsettled or uncomfortable, but he slumbers peacefully.  

She’s glad. 

She spends hours humming softly to herself, swinging slowly in her hammock. She should sleep, she knows she should, but the new people around her and the return of her big brother are all too exciting to let her mind rest. She can sleep again tomorrow night, or nap later, now that she doesn’t have to keep an eye out for her sibling’s return. She spends her time staring, inspecting, learning the faces of her brother’s friends, guessing where scars come from and wondering about their fancy clothes and what the patterns on them mean, what the tools they’d set aside do. 

The Hero of Legend has lots of jewels, and while she doesn’t know for sure they’re magical, they don’t look like they’re for show either. So many pretty rings, and past his loosened collar, she can see a chain with little medallions on it too, each etched with symbols she doesn’t know. 

She falls asleep trying to figure them out. 

- 

She’s not sure when she wakes up, or how much sleep she’d gotten, but soft sobs are what wakes her up. It’s a familiar noise, unfortunately. She and Link and Granny all struggle in the aftermath of Link’s adventure. Granny will think they’re both gone again and she’s alone, that they’re in danger. Aryll finds herself dreaming of the Helmorock King’s talons, of the cage, of dark dungeons and scary monsters that would snap and growl at her and the other girls if they made any noise at all. And Link... Link dreams of losing them, of battles gone wrong, and all sorts of things she knows he’ll never tell her about.  

So really, the sound of sobs, the little whimpers that ring about the house, they’re not new. She isn’t expecting though to sit up and find that they're not coming from Link though. No, because her big brother is also blinking awake, eyes turning immediately to her, only to frown in confusion when he sees her awake as well. 

The crying is coming from someone else. 

They turn at once to look down at where the heroes sleep on the floor, and she’s not sure why, but seeing them all blinking awake as well, already struggling so to sleep with the sound of the waves that the slightest sound extra has them all starting up as well, doesn’t surprise her. Nor does finding that the little cries are coming from the Hero of Legend shock her. He’d looked mournful earlier, sad and lonely, longing even, and the whispers that escape him as he curls tight twisted up in the blankets reflect it too. 

“Don’t leave... please-” he’s shaking, and the other heroes are staring, wide eyed, still half asleep, and all apparently off-footed at the moment as they run hands through hair and scrub at their eyes. One bejeweled hand reaches out, unconsciously she thinks, like Link does when he’s sleeping sometimes, on nights when she usually climbs into bed beside him, so he knows she’s there, so she knows he’s still there. The pink haired hero’s fingers twitch, trying to grasp. “I- please! I can’t! Please...!” his face contorts, tears streaking his cheeks, making it shine a bit in the faint rays of moonlight that peek through the windows. “Please....” it’s softer that time, “...please...don’t wanna be alone...not again.... can’t...don’t go...” another little breathless sob, “please...not again....” 

It hurts, hearing the little sobs. What bothers her more though is that no one is doing anything about it. These heroes are friends, right? Link had said they’re like brothers, so why isn’t someone getting up to help? When she has nightmares, she usually wakes up with her face buried in her brother’s chest, or his hand holding hers at the very least! Sometimes it’s Granny sitting at her bedside, sometimes it’s all three of them curled up together, but there’s never a night where she wakes up from bad dreams to find herself alone, and when Link has them, she always hurries to his side. Why don’t the heroes do that for their brother? 

Another little sob, Legend curls tighter in his blankets, tearing at them with shaking breathes, clawing at his throat as shuddered sobs escape. 

Aryll’s feet hit the floor. 

It’s cold, and she wishes she’d pulled her blanket down with her, but she doesn’t turn back. One of the heroes starts towards her, just like they’ve done all evening, but this time they’re too slow, too far away, to keep her from moving closer to the sad-eyed hero. 

His tears are hot when she reaches out to wipe them with the corner of his blanket. He doesn’t wake, not like Link would, but when she grabs his hand, gripping softly, he stills. His own fingers hold tight onto her own, strong enough to fight a storm, strong enough to hurt, but she doesn’t let go. 

His sobs have stopped. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers, like Granny would, patting the scarred and gnarled hand in her own. “You’re not alone.” 

He whimpers. She doesn’t like it. That pretty doll face shouldn’t look so sad. She wonders who made him that way. Who did he lose? Heroes deal with lots of hard things, she knows, but the other heroes had said that Legend has had lots of adventures, more than even Link, so that means there were probably lots of hard parts too. Maybe he lost lots of people. She doesn’t like the sound of that. Twilight said his house was empty too, and that’s bad, that’s... don’t the other heroes have any family? Mr. Time does, and Twilight does, she knows because they said so, but being alone after an adventure.... it was scary not being able to be around Link while he was gone, but seeing him when he came home, imagining him without them there to love him and listen to him when he came back- it sounds awful. 

She reaches down, wrapping her arms around the hero in front of her, just like Link would do for her. “I’m sorry,” she didn’t do anything wrong, but it feels right to say. 

A jeweled hand falls on her back, grip tight on her nightdress, clinging. She doesn’t mind. 

“Aryll-” Link looks worried, but she ignores it. Instead, she worms her way under the blankets and wraps her arms as tight as she can around Legend. She’s not as good a hugger as Link is, but none of the other heroes are trying anything, so it’s left to her to do this. Link said the heroes are his brothers, so that makes them her brothers too, and if there's no family waiting for them at home, then she’ll make sure they’ve got a granny and sister here at least, waiting to love them when they come back again. 

Legend’s arms wrap around her too. He's bigger than her by a lot, but he curls up around her, one hand settling gently in her hair as he shudders, tears stopping as she starts humming like Granny does. 

In his sleep, Legend hums along. 

Link closes his mouth, worry furrowing his brows, but he doesn’t finish what he was going to say, instead settling down, staring. The other heroes do the same. Some lay down again, others stare for a bit and then lay down to start snoring or tossing and turning again. Eventually, she thinks they all probably fell asleep, but she’s not sure. She drifts off holding onto Legend, listening to his heart thump softly, steadily and just a bit faster than Link’s does, as he hums, sweet and rich and mournful, to a song she remembers Link singing when he came home from his last adventure. It’s pretty, prettier in his voice than her brother’s. It sounds like it was made for him to sing. 

Distantly, she wonders if that’s what seal songs sound like. 

- 

When the morning dawns, she’s still wrapped up tight in strong arms, blankets tucked close about her. 

Link is staring. She knows he’s staring even before she opens her eyes, but she can feel her big brother watching her even as voices murmur softly around them. They sound confused, worried even. 

“Is he even still alive?” She thinks that it might be Warriors, confusion and incredulousness touching his words. 

“Captain, please,” Four, “as if Legend would go that quietly.” 

She hears shifting, rustling clothes or blankets. The kettle is on in the kitchen area. “If you think that was quiet, smithy, I hate to hear what you think loud sounds like,” Sky laughs softly, tense. He sounds worried, or like he’s trying to hide his worry. 

She doesn’t like that. How come no one is checking if they’re so worried? How come there is so much distance? 

Why do they look at Legend like they think he’s going to bite them? 

“Aryll.” 

She stiffens a bit, and it draws a soft sound from the hero curled around her. Legend's pretty face creases, the arms around her tightening some, warm and surprisingly safe, almost like Link’s own, but somehow stronger. 

A heavy sigh sounds over her, and she can almost feel the breath, warm and fond, touching her ears. “I know you’re awake, Aryll.” 

“Legend’s not,” she mumbles into the chest her cheek is squished against. 

“Yes well,” she can almost see the confused, worried, somewhat flustered or frustrated look on her sibling’s face, “that’s sort of not normal.” 

“He’s alive,” she grumbles. He’s alive and very warm, and he gives amazing hugs. She’s missed Link’s hugs, cuddling up with him, and this is soothing that want (although she will of course make sure to cuddle with her brother as well later). 

Link tweaks her ear, making her start, the top of her head colliding with Legend’s chin in a way that startles both of them up. There's a knife in bejeweled hands before dark, lonely eyes even flit open, and she finds herself held very close indeed as the blade stops not even an inch from her brother’s throat. 

He’s even faster than Tetra. 

Luckily, that makes no difference, and Link just blinks, before grinning awkwardly. “Morning to you too,” he huffs. He’s used to Tetra, he’s used to pirates, knives and threats and similar things when he wakes people up don’t phase him as much anymore. “Mind letting go of my sister?” 

The pink-haired hero starts, before looking down to where he’s holding her, blinking rapidly with a look of utter confusion on his pretty face. 

She smiles up at him, all warm and bright and hopeful as she can. “Good morning!” 

The hand on her back lifts and the hero starts back like he’s been burned, staring, wide eyed, and blinking slowly at her like a confused fish. 

Well, that’s just rude! She didn’t do anything wrong! But then again, he’s doesn’t look mad. He doesn’t even look upset, just very, very confused, lost even. Like a fish out of water, she thinks, or a seal inside a house. 

Link snorts, laughs a bit, arms wrapping around himself as he chortles loudly, the rest of his friends all follow after with weak little chuckles. “I said let go of her, not to throw her across the room!” 

Freckled cheeks paint themselves as bright as the hair that brushed over them, dark eyes dating away as the knife is hidden up a sleeve, tucked carefully out of view just as Granny comes back into the room, smiling warmly at all of them and asking how they slept.  

“Just fine, ma’am,” Twilight answers. Well, isn’t he just a big pretty liar? Aryll literally saw him tossing and turning half the night and pawing at his ears. The bags under his eyes even prove it! 

Legend’s just opening his mouth, probably to give a similar lie, and she won’t hear of it. “I think Legend had a bad dream.” 

Granny’s dark eyes turn immediately on the now flustered hero, all concerned and caring as she reaches out to brush a burning cheek. “Oh, you poor thing!” She clucks and fusses, and the flush just grows and grows even as the hero fumbles to answer or insist some sort of lie to make her stop. A gentle pat to his cheek stops him though, Granny’s sad little smile probably killing any urge to lie to her. “I’ll make you some tea, how would you like that?” 

“I’d appreciate it very much, thank you.” 

The other heroes are gawking a bit, but Link just sniggers into his hand, waiting until Granny’s back is turned before whispering “Granny’s magical like that.” 

Like what? Sweet and warm and kind to everyone? She knew that, but why do the heroes stare? Have they never met a nice granny before? 

Legend’s flush doesn’t fade even as he pulls himself to his feet and straightens out his rumpled clothes, tugging his collar properly closed again, almost too tight, and then moves to fumble with the blankets and bedding. He doesn’t touch the blanket still tangled around her though, just moves on and starts folding, even as the other heroes tease and laugh like there’s something actually funny about the situation. 

What on earth is she missing? 

Someone needs to write for me because my writing skills suck,I only do art

Someone please write this for me because I'm getting delusional

Legend sleep talks in the middle of his dream,let's say he was dreaming about Marin leaving him

Somehow,he was the last one to awaken,even when the others are awake,he was still asleep,muttering words saying "don't leave" and "I don't want to be alone"

Hahaha I want to make myself cry when someone writes this for me and I read it

(It depends on the writer on which duo or relationship to use)

[quirkless-accident]

Pre!accident Danny: im going to be a space themed quirkless hero!

Post!accident Danny who is forced to be ghost/supernatural themed hero: DAMNIT!!!

"What kind of hero do you wanna be, Sho?" Danny asked as he hiked his backpack higher. Shouta just shrugged as he lazily kicked a rock as they walked.

It was a bright, sunny day, but the breeze kept it from being to hot. The smell of spring was in the air, and Danny couldn't help but take in a big, deep breath before letting it out, satisfied despite the way the movement made him wince from the cut around his eye.

"I don't like people," Shouta said after a moment. "Or the media. I don't care about being big and famous and rich. I just want to help people without all of the theatrics."

"There's a category for that, isn't there? What are they called again?"

"Underground heroes," Shouta answered.

"You'd be perfect for that. Especially with your quirk, it's probably best suited for that kind of stuff anyway."

"What about you?" Shouta asked, dodging the compliment. Danny's face split in two, because if there was one thing he enjoyed talking Shouta's ear off about it was being a hero. Or an astronaut. So the answer that came from Danny's mouth wasn't really a huge surprise to him.

"I'm gonna be a cool space themed hero! I don't care for the media either, and I'm quirkless so I won't be able to fight in big villain fights like All Might or anything. Maybe we could go underground together? We could be an underground duo!"

Shouta did not point out the fact that that was practically unheard of. All underground heroes worked solo for the majority of their careers, only ever teaming up due to circumstances beyond their control. Still, though, Danny was strong and fast, and much more calculating than he gave himself credit for. It wouldn't be a bad idea to do their hero work together.

"What are you gonna call yourself?" Shouta asked. "If it's space themed then maybe after a star or planet?"

"I was thinking maybe Mars? But I don't know if I look good in that shade of red, you know? Maybe moon themed, but there's a million heroes out there that are moon themed. I don't wanna accidentally get confused with any of them."

"Why not that space ship you're always going on about?"

"I go on about a lot of space ships, Shouta. You're going to have to be more specific."

"The-I don't know. They made it into a movie forever ago?"

"Oh!" Danny said excitedly. He flapped his hands excitedly as he bounced in step next to Shouta, who was giving his friend a tiny smile. "You mean the Apollo 13! That could totally be my hero name! I'd need a cool underground costume, though. Maybe one with lots of armor, and-oh what if I had a cool mask, too! I can make it like the oxygen masks that they used and it could filter out gross stuff and sleeping gases and stuff. Shouta, you're a genius!"

Shouta did not agree to the statement, but he knew better than to say such a thing in front of his friend, lest he receive his aggressive unconditional love.

"Yeah, whatever," Shouta said, rolling his eyes and failing to hide his smile. "Just don't pick anything to bright."

-----------

"Well," Shouta said as he looked Danny up and down. It had been a month since the accident, and Danny was finally starting to get a hang of his powers. "I'm sorry, Danny."

"What? Why?" Danny asked, confused as he floated closer towards Shouta.

"You won't be able to be a spaced themed hero anymore."

He watched as Danny's face speedran through the five stages of grief before circling back around to stop at anger. His whole face contorted as he grunted in frustration.

"Fuck!"

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,” you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”

[hope-to-hell]

Campfire Stories. Steve Rogers x Reader. Smut, handjobs, wound treatment, my first outing with this fella. The world didn’t get better when the Snap was undone. But this time Steve sticks around.

—-

When all around is pain and death and nothing is right anymore, there’s still Steve. You know he dropped the shield when it no longer meant something bright and good and hopeful. One day he looked around and all he saw was the fading afterimage of what he’d wanted to protect. He gave the finger to the old symbols— yeah, even the golden boy knows a thing or two about rudeness, he is and was a soldier and he will die with his boots on— and he walked into the dark.

There’s stories about you, ya know. Like the one where you disappear into the past.

To do what? It’s another rough night and Steve’s got blood in his beard. Some of it is his. Though he tries to play it off as nothing much, he can’t help grimacing when you press fingerprints into the grit caked onto his flesh.

To make sweet love to some pretty girl, I hear. Steve snorts and it sends a rivulet of blood down his chest; the stitching-up is better than the debriding but either way it’s a lousy time. They say you left without looking back.

This house is a burnt-out husk but the walls still stand; you’ve got a clean sheet and a dirty mattress to hold its beating heart. Steve reclines and the springs squeak; he breathes and little creatures scurry off into the dark. When the last stitch is placed he looks down and almost speaks. The work is neater than it’s been before but the stitches still stagger drunkenly down his chest. It’ll be better the next time and the next, despite your best hopes that this time will be the last. He may have put down the shield but that means his body bears the brunt of enemy fire.

I used to be shorter, you know. He doesn’t say weaker because that would be a lie; his body may be thick and hard and vast now but it’s never been his strength. He is stubborn, and kind even when he isn’t nice, and he loves with his whole heart. That is where his strength lies.

Glad you grew. Otherwise I’d be wrapping you in a winding sheet instead of stitching you up. As it is, we’re gonna have to stay here for a while. When everyone came back the world was supposed to be better; it was supposed to be hugs and kisses and warm crusty bread with jam. It wasn’t supposed to be hunger and war and chaos. It wasn’t supposed to be worse. It wasn’t supposed to be digging shrapnel out of Steve’s chest, telling stories to distract him from the pain. Hey. Wanna hear another one?

Shoot, sweetheart.

I heard that when the world lost its shine you joined the mob. You had polished shoes and rings on your fingers and a different girl riding your dick every night.

Sounds exhausting.

And a little hot?

And a little hot.

Rest is at a premium; he dreams of a little place by the river where he can watch the ships go by. He dreams of sketching your naked shoulder as you lean against the porch rail, and the way the light changes when it rains. He dreams and knows that he will likely never see any of it. Even giants fall. One day he’ll be a little too slow, and that’ll be it. So for now he puts aside all his fresh hurts and listens to your campfire stories.

Wanna hear another one? Stars shine through gaps in the roof and are reflected in his eyes; he looks less of a hero and more of a world-weary traveler. He smells like blood and sweat and the musk of an unwashed man; the hair of his armpit tickles your face when you settle in close. Like this it’s almost possible to forget that everything around you is a catastrophic mess. All that matters is his warmth and bulk and the way his breath catches when you lick at him under his arm, tongue running over some old scar or other that he doesn’t talk about. This one’s great, you’ll love it. One time I heard you learned sorcery and made yourself invisible. Then when the bad guys showed up you’d just blast them into orbit and they never saw it coming.

Do any of your stories have a happy ending?

Sure, plenty. There’s one where you become a professor of art; you wear lots of cozy sweaters and sit by the fire with your lover in the evenings.

You made that part up.

Caught me. You really spend the whole time making passionate love on every available surface. It’s a good story and a soft one, the sort of life that seems farther away every day. Steve leans down far enough to brush his beard over your forehead; his hand finds yours on its journey south.

I don’t think I can—

It’s okay. Lie back and let me take care of you.

Your hand is warm and wet with spit and it curls over his flesh with a burning drag; it’s not enough and he moans out here. Give me your hand. His tongue plays counterpoint to the rasp of his beard, taking in saliva and salt and the blood that never quite comes off. He licks and suckles and leaves your palm sloppy wet; droplets shine like stars and he is breathing hard before he lets you go. Fuck. Ah, fuck. Stings a little. And yet, he guides your hand back down with fingers curled delicately over your wrist.

Tch. You gotta relax. I’ll tell you another story. It’s better this time, friction reduced to a sweet insistence; with every pass of your palm over the head, the muscles of his belly twitch. When the world was young, we learned how to fuck. It was messy and filthy, right there on the shore where we first crawled from the sea. We traded bits of ourselves and we were happy, for a time. Steve is watching, eyes bright against the filth still crusted on his face. He starts to speak, but falls apart on a gasping breath.

I don’t know where this fight will lead. Probably nowhere good. But we have to try. I have to try. He helps to clean away the bitter salt from your hand; it coats his tongue and yours as you trade this part of him between you, and afterward you tuck yourself against him, surrounded by his scent and taste. Thank you, he says. Maybe it’s for your touch, or your company, or for something more. I want to tell you a story now. Once upon a time, there was a house by the shore.