#I mean it would absolutely destroy Dean

[im-some-lionheart]

I think when dean and cas finally kiss for the first time, dean moans into it an embarrassing amount and he also cries his eyes out.

[tpwk-formula1]

OK, BIG order here! Lando Norris (frat Lando if you're up for it), gluten-free, red sauce, artichokes, cilantro, sausage, sweet tea, lemonade (reader giving), pink lemonade, and no aftercare. In my mind, this is a college scenario and y/n absolutely can't stand Lando, cuz he's a cocky player who gets all the girls, but he somehow wins her over, and when he gets her, he absolutely dominates and humiliates her. Sorry, I just want to think about Lando completely owning me and being so arrogant about it lol

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

Gluten free Enemies to lovers red sauce rough sex artichokes "Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut" cilanto "stop crying and fucking take it" sausage "better not waste a drop" sweet tea dumbification lemonade body worship (reading giving) pink lemonade degrading kink

TW - MEAN Lando, degrading (like a lot), slight mention of dumbification, rough sex, face fucking, multi orgasms, cum swallow, spitting into mouth (once at very end), NOT PROOF READ

WC 2600+

AN - Okay so I am writing this more in USA ideas of fraternity and sorority as that is all I know about.

Y/N POV

"Literally go away Lando," I rolled my eyes at the boy in front of me. Lando and I had met on our first day of freshman year where he proudly told me he had never been told no by a girl before. From that moment on I hated him. I always seemed to find him on campus with his tongue down another girl's throat. It has never been the same girl more than once or twice really playing into his Playboy persona. Now in our senior year of university, he was still trying to get with me.

"Y/N just give me a chance. I'll have you cumming on my cock within minutes," Lando replied back still following me through the sorority house that he happily invited himself into. No one bat an eye as he was the president of our "brother" fraternity and being the president of the sorority it wasn't all that weird to see us talking.

"Lando, I have no issues cumming with literally anyone else," I reply back before walking into my room hoping to close the door in his face. I could hear Lando scuff softly at the lie I had just told. Lando had other plans because instead of staying on the other side of the door like I had hoped, he was pushing his way into my room before closing the door and locking it with a soft click.

"Get out," I tell him trying to make my way to the door to unlock it and open it but he quickly moves in front of me blocking the door before he roughly grabs my hips and turns me around so my back is pressed against the door and we where now facing each other face to face.

"Lando, please stop," I whisper not trusting my voice to stay stable if I talk any louder.

"Y/N come on. We have been going at each other's throats for years. Just one night. Let me destroy every wall you have built between us for the past four years in one night. Let me fuck you, please," Lando replied back not making any movement just staring into my eyes waiting for an answer.

"Why?" I ask with a raised brow. I had thought after our freshman year Lando would drop the idea of getting into my pants but as the years went on and the rejection kept coming for Lando it only made him more persistent. I won't lie and say I haven't been curious. I had heard the whispers of how big his dick was, how good he fucked, and the biggest rumor of all how deliciously mean he was.

"Y/N be real with me. You're the president of the top soroity on campus, your father is the dean of the school, and you're still the only girl to reject me. You're the girl every single guy on campus wants. You have won every battle between us but today, I need to finish this war. I need you to let me fuck you," Lando replied back essentially begging to let him in. I knew if right here and right now I told Lando no he would walk out and go back to his house but the part of me that has been getting weaker recently wants him to stay and wants to put the rumors to rest.

"One night? That's all this is," I reply back and the second the words leave my mouth Lando is on me like prey.

His hand was instantly tangled into my hair and pulling me in for a heated and rough kiss. Teeth clattering against each other and tongues fighting for dominance. It was rough and messy but god did it make my knees grow weak with need.

I think Lando and I both knew one day it would come to this. I would finally break and let him ravish my body like it had been his for the taking all along, and truthfully I think it has been his all along.

"Get on you fucking knees now," Lando pulled back saying while pushing my head down. I instantly drop to my knees looking up at Lando almost waiting for him to tell me what to do next.

"I hear some of the brothers talk about how good you are with your mouth. It's like you intentionally let them fuck you so they can talk about it letting me know all about the things I've been missing out on for the past four years. So don't be fucking dense with me, out that mouth of your to use," Lando snapped at me when I didn't do anything. I was instantly clawing at the fly of his jeans trying to get it zipped as quick as possible not wanting to piss him off more than I had previously.

When his pants were unbuttoned and zipped down I softly tugged them down his legs where Lando finally helped by kicking them off the rest of the way discarding them somewhere across my room.

"It's big," I whisper while keeping my eyes trained on the hard bulge under his briefs. While I still can't fully see just how big he is I can tell he's fucking massive he is because the tight white briefs leave far too little to the imagination.

"I'm sorry what was that? I need you to speak up a bit more," Lando says with a smirk written all over his face. It was clear he had heard me but enjoyed the praise far too much.

"I said it's smaller than I expected," I replied back with false confidence. Something in Lando snapped in that moment because one second I was on my knees getting ready to suck Lando off and the next I was being dragged by my hair towards my bed where he roughly through me onto it before positioning me so my head was hanging off the side of the bed upside down.

I was dizzy from how quickly the mood had shifted from two rivals arguing and bickering to me being upside down waiting to get my face fucked by said rival.

Lando made quick work of pulling his briefs down before he roughly shoved his massive cock into my mouth. Lando gave me hardly any time to adjust to his length that was filling my throat leaving me a gagging mess under him.

When Lando starts thrusting into my mouth I can feel his balls starting to slap my nose making this moment all that more embasrrassing. How I had ended up with Lando fucking Norris's cock shoved down my throat and his balls hitting my face will always amaze me.

Suddenly I feel Lando lean down slightly making the angle all the more rough before he was tugging at my tight tank top pulling it up to expose my lacey bra too him. I could feel his big hands gripping and pulling at my tits all the while still fucking my face in such a brutal pace I could barely breath.

While one final rough thrust down my throat he holds himself there for a few seconds cutting off my airflow completely before he roughly pulls out and steps back to see me slightly rolling to my side gasping for air and coughing from the brutal attack.

"God, you're such a fucking whore. Took that so well," Lando says with a smirk before shoving two fingers down my throat to watch me gag again. I can feel Lando whiggle his fingers around slightly making me gag more before he rough pulls them out to watch me struggle for fresh air again.

"You know, I'm happy to know that your mouth isn't just good for talking," Lando says before roughly taking a handful of my hair and turning me around slightly so my head was no longer dangling off the bed but rather my legs where dangling.

I was still fully dressed but that didn't last long as Lando completely pulled my shorts and thong down in one go before pulling off my tank top so roughly he ripped it slightly. I feel Lando reach under me before unclipping my bra and roughly pulling it off my body. I had gone from completely clothed to naked as the day I was born within 30 seconds or so.

I watched as Lando fulled his shirt off leaving me to gawk as the tanned 6 pack he was sporting. While I had spent my years trying to avoid him I still had eyes and could see how hot he was.

"See something you like," Lando asks with a smirk making me wanna roll my eyes but I reframe not wanting to piss him off.

"Ya," I just whisper back too embarrassed to admit the thoughts I was thinking. Cursing myself for making him wait all these years when I could've had him all along.

"God, you're a fucking whore. I haven't even touched you are you're already starting to soak your sheets," Lando announced making me trail my trail my eyes down where I can't see much but I could tell how soaked I was just by the way my pussy lips where coated.

"Lando fucking do something," I snap not having the patience to be stared at like I was some kind of artifact on display.

"Hm, I wanna hear why you want it so bad all the sudden. For years you were adiment I would never bed you but here you are begging for it," Lando replied while slowly running his fingers up my thighs and stomach where he landed on my left nipple which he took between his fingers and gave it a tug making me moan at the pleasurable pain.

"Lando, please I just need you to fuck me," I reply with a face still covered in tears and spit and I hadn't had a chance to wipe it off.

"You beg like a proper slut you know, but I still wanna know why," Lando replies still teasing my nipples having moved his attention to my right one now.

"Fuck you, you're fucking hot. You're one of the hottest guys here, I want you to fuck me and ruin me for anyone else," I finally submit to Lando being too weak to continue to try and fight.

"Oh, so all along you've been wanting it. God, you really are a slut," Lando mutters before finally slipping into my tight pussy with so much for I'm left gasping for air.

"God you're so fucking tight. Tighter than I would've thought given everything I've hear," Lando groans once he had filled me completely. He gives me just a few seconds to gather myself before he start thrusting his hips.

"Oh fuck, Lando," I whine and moan out not really sure how to act. I had been fucked before but I have never quite been fucked like this.

I can feel Lando's pace picking up in speed and roughness leaving me gasping for air. He was getting to a point where he was being so rough it was making tears well up in my eyes.

"Stop crying and fucking take it" Lando groans when he sees the tears starting too form.

"Too much," I gasp before digging my nails into Lando's chest making him hiss in slight pain.

"It's not too much, you can fucking handle it. I can feel your pussy clenching around my cock wanting more," Lando says while delivering slow yet painfully pleasurable thursts hitting my G-spot each time.

"Lando I'm close," I whisper knowing if I talked any loud I would stutter given how much pleasure was coursing through my body.

"Do what all good sluts are for and cum," Lando says while picking up his pace sending me into a blissful land where all I can think about in the orgasm that is leaving me shaking on Lando's cock,.

"Oh, fuck," I whine starting to come down from my orgasm but not fully being able to as Lando is still sending brutal thrusts keeping me overstimulated yet still edging towards another orgasm.

"God, you just fucking came and you're already clenching for another," Lando teases out clearly being able to read my body far better than he should be able to.

"Fu-ck n-o Lan," I'm whining and trying to get away but not being able to form full sentences as the pleasure is mounting far too quick.

"Awe did I turn you into a dumb whore norm," Lando says with a smirk before sending down a rough slap right on my clit throwing me straight into another orgasm. I just scream, thankful that none of the other girls were home.

"No," I whisper coming down from my orgasm while Lando is slowing his thrust slightly.

"can't" I whine.

"Speak up and use your fucking words," Lando says clearly getting fed up with the dumb slut under him.

"I can't cum again," I finally force out a sentence once I've come down from the orgasm mostly.

Lando pulls his cock out without saying anything. He leans over placing a soft kiss on my lips throwing me off slightly before he's roughly gripping onto my hair and hauling me off the bed and back onto my knees.

"You know what to do," Is all Lando tells me while he watches me slowly grip onto his dick which is absolutely soaked in my pussy juices before bringing my mouth to his cock.

"Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut," Lando says while I start bobbing my head on his dick making sure to take him as deep as I can without gagging too much.

Lando grips the back of my head before he starts to face fuck me. I can feel the tears streaking my face, my spit rolling down my chin and all I can hear is the sound of my gagging and Lando's groaning ringing out through the room and if I'm being honest, I have never been more turned on in my life.

Lando finally releases the grip he has on the back of my head letting me do all the work now. I was thankful as it was becoming increasingly more difficult to breathe.

I pull my mouth off of Lando's cock making sure to keep jerking him off, while looking up at him. He was already staring down at me watching me like a hawk.

"Thank you, Lando," I whisper softly.

"For what," Lando groans clearly getting close to blowing his load so I slow it down slightly wanting him to cum in my mouth.

"Fucking me so good," I whisper while trailing kisses around the lower part of his toned abs and into his trimmed pubes before taking Lando back into my mouth and bobbing my head so rough that I am consistently hitting my gag reflex.

I feel Lando starting to tense letting me know he was close before he gave one final rough thrust into my mouth and held my head there before unleashing his massive load into my mouth and right down my throat.

"Better not waste a drop" Lando groans when he pulls out of my mouth watching me as I swallow his cum. When I'm done swallowing I open my mouth and stick out my tongue showing him I had swallowed it all. Lando just leans down slightly before spitting right into my mouth and walking away to find his clothes.

Once Lando was fully dressed I was already comfortably in bed too exhausted to do anything but melt into my pillow.

"We will do this again," Lando says matter a factly before placing a kiss on my forehead and then lips and walking out of my room presumably to go back to his house.

[chevroletdean]

sibling!reader dealing with demon!dean headcanons (req.) ── ✮⋆˙

Pairing: None, just platonic Winchester!Reader (fem) and her brothers Genre: Angst, fluff To note/warnings: Hurt/comfort, grief (temporary character death, as in Sam and Reader think Dean died), canon level violence A/N: A great way to start the year is definitely getting a cool request by @midnight--raine! Tysm, dear, your praise means a lot to me <3 and I 100% agree, Demon!Dean is terrifying. Still my favorite arc ever, because I’m a sucker for the nitty, gritty, dark and scary, but yes. Credit & links: dividers ──〃★ request here

Sam’s heart breaks twice that day. For one, there is the crushing grief that comes with watching the life disappear from his brother’s eyes. Then the realization: How could he possibly tell his sister what happened? Dean’s death is tearing him apart, and he knows it will absolutely destroy her.

There’s no easy way to deliver the news. But, alas, he’s spending a good amount of time sitting alone in the Impala, Dean’s lifeless body in the backseat. The ride back to the bunker was the hardest ever, the silence nearly driving him insane. Sam is thinking back and forth on what to say, what to do.

He knows waltzing in, carrying the corpse is not an option. If anything, Sam doesn’t want her to see Dean like that at all. Though he figures she’ll probably want to see for herself.

She probably already knows something bad happened the second Sam enters the bunker. Of course she does, her brothers have trained her to stay alert 24/7, to look at her surroundings with a keen eye — Dean would be so proud of her people reading skill right now. Sam’s by himself and his expression… he’s devastated, though he tries to keep it together for her sake. It can only mean one thing.

It feels wrong right away. She can tell. It’s obvious when he doesn’t answer her questions. “Where’s Dean?” Silence. It speaks volumes. “It’s not funny, this is a dumb prank.” Sam still can’t bring himself to speak up.

She runs past him, straight outside to look for Dean, even when Sam tries to stop her.

Sam’s glad he thought of draping a jacket over Dean’s body before talking to his sister. She shouldn’t have to see her brother so lifeless, after all. This view alone, even just through the car window, is enough to traumatize her.

What happened isn’t his fault, but Sam still apologizes over and over again. He can just stand there and feel guilty while he’s holding her shaky form.

It’s not their first rodeo with death and while it doesn’t make it any less sad, her tears convince Sam even more that he has to fix this, somehow.

That night she can’t sleep. Nothing can console her, not even Sam. Though she is grateful to have him at her side.

It’s the same for Sam, honestly. With both of them restless, they dig through the library, they try to find anything to bring Dean back.

In the end, she’ll probably fall asleep right at the desk, her eyes heavy and sore from crying and reading. It’s not a peaceful slumber by all means, it’s more like her brain and body just shut down.

Sam carries her to her room, but the second he tucks her into bed and wants to leave again, she wakes and sobs again.

She’s terrified to spend the night alone, nightmares haunting her. If it were for her, she’d be up and in the library again, but Sam manages to make her agree to a compromise: She will try and get some rest and he will stay with her.

None of them get another wink of sleep that night, she’s staining Sam’s shirt with tears while he’s busy brushing his fingers through her hair.

The next couple of days are rough. The bunker feels like a graveyard, Dean’s presence is definitely missing.

She finds herself wanting to prank her brother like every morning — she’d always exchange his shampoo bottle with the ketchup bottle, shed secretly put a Celine Dion cassette in the Impala. Now, there’s no point for any of that.

Instinctively she grabs onto any piece of Dean she still has. She takes one of his shirts to wear, his scent still lingering in the fabric. She doesn’t touch the piece of pie in the fridge, which she’d usually steal, but she wants to keep it there, preserve it, just in case Dean will magically return.

When Dean’s body disappears, it’s like losing him all over again at first. He’s suddenly gone, again, and panic sets in. And it feels even more permanent. However, it’s also a glimmer of hope, right? He has to be somewhere, so is he alive after all?

Sam’s more reluctant to get his hopes up high. He’s dealt with heavy losses before. Seeing his sister motivated to find Dean is a double-edged sword. It’s the first time since Dean’s death that he sees her eyes sparkle again. But he’s also scared she’ll break down even more when this turns out to be another tragedy.

It’s because of that very reason that Sam’s working on this without telling his sister. He hates keeping secrets from her, he hates lying to her, but he can’t bring himself to feed into her delusions only for her to end up even more hurt. So, when he’s able to track Dean down, he’s not telling anyone.

It bites him in the ass. While Sam’s out trying to find Dean, Dean’s already on the way to find her.

She looks like she’s seen a ghost, honestly. Wide eyes staring at him and filled with tears. Suddenly all her hunting skills are out the window. She doesn’t care to throw holy water at him, she doesn’t think of nicking him with silver. Demons, skinwalkers, none of it exists to her in that moment. All she can think about is her big brother being back.

She jumps right into his arms, scolding him, whining and sniffling and hugging him with a death grip.

Dean’s quiet, eerily so, but that’s not enough to make her suspect anything just yet. Maybe he’s tired, maybe she’s confused, it’s so much all at once. She refuses to let go of him, afraid he’ll slip away again, so she drags him to the kitchen and happily presents the piece of pie to him.

Dean doesn’t even touch it. Hell, he’s not even looking at it.

She quickly texts Sam, letting him know Dean’s back at the bunker. Then, when she looks up from her phone again and sees Dean not eating, she’s starting to get doubtful.

Dean not digging into pie? Is he sick or something? “You okay?”

There’s a grin on Dean’s lips that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and it feels off. It feels dangerous. “Never felt better.”

The wheels are turning in her head and her blood runs cold. She didn’t do any of the routine checks. Why didn’t she do any of the routine checks? Sam and Dean have taught her better, but she was so caught up in the moment and…

Her phone buzzes and Sam’s reply is simple. ‘That is not Dean.’ Her eyes widen. ‘Demon. Get away.’

The three or four seconds she spent looking at her phone are what almost gets her killed. It’s plenty of time for Dean to grab the kitchen knife and aim it at his sister instead of the pie.

She manages to dodge, somehow, although Dean makes it sound like he just enjoys playing with his prey. As his eyes turn jet-black, she knows she’s in trouble.

“I’ll give you a headstart, sis,” he hums and even his voice sounds so twisted, so wrong.

“Headstart?,” she echoes. “Dean, please, you don’t wanna—”

“Ten… Nine…”

He absolutely wants to. Sam’s right, this isn’t Dean. Not their Dean.

She bolts out of the kitchen as fast as she can. The bunker is big, but the problem remains that they all know it inside and out — where can she possibly hide? Should she lock herself in the dungeon? Should she ditch the place altogether?

“Six… Five…”

Panicked, she just makes a run for it, not knowing where to quite yet, but knowing it had to be away. As far away as possible. She scrambles to find a weapon, anything to fend off a demon, though she hates the thought of fighting against Dean. Not only would she not stand a chance against her brother, she could never bring herself to harming him or his vessel.

“Ready or not here I come.”

She’s definitely not ready. He could’ve given her a minute, an hour, a freakin’ year, nothing could prepare her for such a chase.

Stupidly, she decides to hide in Dean’s room. It’s far from the safest option, but it’s where her feet have carried her. She can’t really think of any room in the bunker that could protect her from the demonic version of her brother, but here at least, she’s surrounded by happy memories, right?

She’s holding her breath, clutching Ruby’s knife in her trembling hand.

It’s only through a trick that she’s able to survive. Of course, Dean finds her, but she’s fast and able to (a) distract him long enough to make preparations and (b) then lure him to the dungeons.

Dean’s not dumb, he knows there’s a devil’s trap. But he didn’t know there were two of them. She’s haphazardly drawn one he didn’t see until he is standing in it.

Bless all the times she has cursed in the past. She has complained to Sam so often whenever he had forced her to practice drawing pentagrams. She’ll make sure to thank him for it later.

Speaking of the devil, Sam returns just a bit later. He must’ve broken several traffic laws racing back to the bunker, but between that and his sister’s safety, she obviously came first.

He thought she’d be pissed at him for lying to her, but she has a priority too right now: Turning Dean into a human again.

It’s definitely not an easy task. More specifically, it’s downright nauseating to witness the purification process. Dean’s clearly suffering, the pain must be agonizing, but they are able to heal him.

Dean’s back, and he’s human again and it’s all she could’ve ever asked for.

Now, for Dean? Shit, he won’t be able to look into the mirror for a very long time. He always sees himself as the family’s protector. His siblings are his world and to think he attacked his baby sister? It’s killing him.

He feels so guilty he’s not able to look her in the eyes, let alone talk to her or touch her.

Which is why when she hugs him, clinging to his form sobbing, he thinks he doesn’t deserve that kind of trust. His greatest fear is that she’s now scared of him. She’d have every right to be, he attacked her with a damn knife.

“It wasn’t you. It was your body, but not your mind. I mean, that thing comes up with all sorts of dumb things, but not that kind of dumb.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that, of course she’s already back to sibling banter. How she manages to pretend like nothing happened is beyond him.

The events stick with him for a very long time, they never fully disappear from his conscience. He wishes he could wipe the memory of your panicked eyes from his brain, but that image will still haunt him in his grave.

Something has changed though. His shampoo is shampoo and his cassettes are his cassettes. There’s always pie in the fridge and she’s not playing any pranks on him anymore.

It makes him feel even worse. Especially when she explains to him that she’d rather be nice to her pain-in-the-ass brother and have him alive than be mean and have him dead.

“You know one thing doesn’t have anything to do with the other, right?”

It almost sounds like she’s blaming herself. As if Dean’s death was her punishment for bickering 24/7. It’s not right, if anyone should be feeling guilty, it’s him. And he does. God, he does.

It’s very obvious that she’s more afraid of losing him again than she is of the monster he’s become.

He’s set out on playing double the amount of pranks on her then, in hopes of getting some normalcy back. Of reminding his little sister that he’s still here, he’ll always be there. He’ll always be her pain-in-the-ass brother that’ll look out for her and keep her safe and play pranks on her.

When one morning he finds his toothbrush in a jar of pickles, bristles soaked in the vinegar-y liquid, it’s a small victory. Her post-it note with a smug smiley drawn on it is a step in the right direction.

Dean Winchester Taglist (Put a green heart 💚 in the comments to be added to the Dean x Reader taglist): @ladysparkles78 @ariasong11 @winchester-whiskey @whormotional @spacecowgirl126

@zepskies @calibootsgirl @hot-and-confused @spookyfunhottub @berryblues46

@midnight--raine @emmy21842 @whichwitchwanda @foxyjwls007 @lyarr24

@whump-loverz @cassieriddle713 @ilovedeanwinchester4

Sam Winchester Taglist (Put a book emoji 📚 in the comments to be added to the Sam x Reader taglist): @s7nburn @whump-loverz

Please note: Ageless blogs will only be tagged in fluff and angst posts!

[monstermoviedean]

the rupture is both their faults, actually, and i'm going to yell about it now

here's the thing. the breakup scene in 15x03 once again starts on cas' terms, same as the argument in 15x02. dean has just gotten done wrapping up the ghost business by checking in with stevie, then he checks in with sam and tries to console him about losing rowena. then he goes to pour himself a drink, and that's when cas shows up and starts the conversation. i can't gauge his intention here, but his actions back dean into a corner. even if dean doesn't want to have this conversation for very good reasons, cas is going to make it happen.

consider that dean doesn't know what went down in the crypt. he has absolutely no clue what happened between cas and belphegor. cas has given him almost no detail about what happened. here's what dean knows at the start of this: cas killed belphegor, and the crook was destroyed. that's it. cas reveals during this conversation that it's because belphegor was lying, using them, and planning to suck up all the souls, which is why "the plan changed."

coupla things here. one. someone lying to dean, using him, and then sucking up a bunch of souls to get power and become a new god? yeah, dean has seen that before. that is beat-for-beat what cas did in season 6. i don't think that's lost on dean. i think he's remembering right then and there how he stuck up for cas then, how he refused to believe cas could have betrayed them when everyone else had given up on cas already. and how he was wrong. not to mention what followed.

that brings us to chuck. i cannot overstate the importance of the chuck reveal as context here. dean is questioning literally everything about his life. that includes cas. chuck pulling the strings could mean chuck is pulling cas' strings too. dean is wrong about this - he's being very paranoid and it's not good for him or anyone. but it also makes sense in context because the context is horror after horror after horror.

and that brings us to mary (and jack, and ketch, and rowena). are any of these deaths cas' fault? nope! but dean can trace all these deaths back to cas breaking the trust between them by not talking about his concerns about jack. dean feels that cas has broken the trust between them, and even though it's unfair to blame cas for this whole situation, it's perfectly fair for dean to feel betrayed on some level.

snapping at cas in the moment is not kind and not fair. under (relatively) normal circumstances, dean would quickly and sincerely apologize. but right now he's at his breaking point. and i can see why he's sick of extending trust and getting burned.

now cas' response. "you used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt." it's true! but cas isn't recognizing that his actions affect this trust. cas is not automatically entitled to dean's trust. trust is earned, and it needs to be reciprocal. cas also needs to trust dean, and dean is wondering if cas does trust him if he didn't trust him enough to tell him about jack. we know cas trusts dean, but dean doesn't necessarily know that, especially when his faith in everything is at an all-time low. but in spite of that, cas is placing the burden here on dean, blaming dean for not granting cas his trust and the benefit of the doubt. i don't think that's especially fair either.

then he brings up his powers failing - it's an odd segue because they haven't really talked about this. this has not been made clear to dean or to the audience. then it's about dean not talking to him. can this be chalked up to lingering resentments from season 14? maybe? because if cas is talking about trying to talk to dean over and over in season 15, we only have two examples. 15x01, dean asks if cas is okay and when cas answers, dean ends the conversation. dean starts this conversation so it's not a great example of cas "trying to talk about it." and then 15x02, where cas corners dean and starts talking - just like this conversation in 15x03.

i'm not saying that if someone talks to dean when he doesn't want to have a talk, that all bets are off and dean can do whatever he wants. nope, not at all. but it's been a pattern for the last few seasons at least that dean avoids a conversation he's not able to handle -> someone else decides they need to have the conversation -> they force dean into it -> dean either walks away, beginning this cycle over, or he expresses upset, which makes him look like the bad guy.

"you don't want to hear it" may be fair. but "you don't care" is absolutely not fair. the problem is that dean cares too much and it's choking him. he's lost almost everyone. he is not able to bear it. he's retreating because he can't bear it, and then cas is accusing him of not caring at all at the first sign of dean not bending over backwards to care for cas. (as stated above, he is actively caring for sam, and everyone else he usually would care for is dead. so this is about cas)

finally, cas leaves when dean doesn't immediately apologize and talk to him and say he trusts and believes in him. cas turns and walks away. he has every right to do that, but he is an independent person with autonomy and he is making this choice. dean contributed to cas making this choice, but he's not solely responsible for it.

let's say their relationship is a bridge over a chasm. this is not a case of dean burning the bridge, though you can read it that way if you want to believe dean is at fault for everything. this is dean and cas retreating to their own sides of the chasm rather than meeting on the bridge. dean is very often the one to walk out on that bridge. this is one of the only times he doesn't, and cas takes that as a personal betrayal. but cas isn't walking out onto the bridge either.

[420technoblazeit]

was thinking recently about an au where crowley fully commits to becoming human and takes the cure and like. i mean he'd probably be a witch right. we've seen him use spells and rituals and hex bags so i assume he'd learn more advanced witchcraft without his demon powers

and i'd like to add that despite rowena being one of the most powerful witches in the world i think he'd definitely have too much pride to ask her to tutor him. like what you're 400 years old and you're going to go to your mom to learn magic? absolutely not. i think he'd just suck it up and comb through the bunker's library looking for different spells to learn. and it'd take him a while to figure out it out but eventually he gets the hang of it and starts practicing a completely different branch of magic to rowena's and even making his own spells

but i also think that with sam being rowena's apprentice and also the most type a bitch alive he and crowley would get SO competitive about it and it'd devolve into a rivalry where they try to one-up each other with increasingly convoluted dangerous spells. and eventually this escalates into a full on witch battle where dean and cas are cowering in the corner as crowley and sam hurls spells at each other and completely destroy the war room casting shit like oblivion laser or smth. dean is frantically calling rowena for help. little does he know that she's watching the whole thing with a scrying spell and placing bets with some other witches on who's going to win. she's got 200 bucks on sam, he's just been turned into a rat and he's going for crowley's ankles

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

It’s Rant Time Again, Friends!

And today’s rant is brought to you by the silliness that came scross my Twitter feed this week in the form of an absolutely pointless question, but even more so by some of the asinine answers I saw. Some of you probably already saw this (and responded) if you’re on Twitter, so I’m not screenshotting it. Besides, people are allowed to ask (stupid) questions. But, I’m also allowed to comment on how dumb the questions are.

The Question:

“If it came down to saving Sam or Cas, who do you think Dean would save first?”

Question Issues:

If someone watched the show at all, the answer to this question is more than obvious. But the question isn’t even just “who would Dean save” but “who would Dean save first?” I mean the answer to both is the same, but surly even the “found family” crew of fans should be able to recognize that Dean will always try to save Sam first. The ones who claim otherwise have to be knowingly lying, because if not … I fear for society that people are that lack that much media literacy.

The responses:

So, here’s what gets me even more than the “innocent” question, the responses. Of course the vast majority of reposts and replies are saying some variation of “Sam, obviously.” Because it is obvious. The show has showed us again and sngsinghdt Dean would put Sam’s life above his own, his parents, his friends, anyone.

But what’s really amusing/annoying/sad is seeing people twisting themselves into pretzels just to avoid having to admit the truth. These are the ones saying things like:

“Dean would find a way to save both of them!” - Would he though? When “Zeke” gave Dean the ultimatum between sending a penniless, powerless, helpless and hunted Castiel out into the world on his own … or him leaving Sam, stopping the healing and potentially (only potentially) resulting in Sam dying, there is no hesitation. Dean clearly feels bad, but he tosses Cas out on his ass in a blink. What does he not do? He doesn’t try to arrange something so they are both safe. Hell, he doesn’t even give Cas anything to help feed, cloth or protect himself. He just sends him out into the world to try and figure shit out on his own.

“Dean would kill/sacrifice himself, if it meant he could save Cas, too.” - Umm, where have we ever seen him put Cas above himself? Would he risk his life to save Castiel? Of course he would, but he would also risk his life to try and save a complete stranger. That sort of comes with the territory of being a hunter. But the only person Dean has ever directly and intentionally sacrificed himself for is Sam. I saw some argue that he was willing to kill or himself to bring Cas back after Chuck snapped everyone away in Season 15, but that’s a misinterpretation (selective listening), common among hellers and Cas stans, of what Dean is actually saying. Dean and Sam say they will kill each other if Chuck will bring everyone back, including Cas. They are not offering to do this just for Cas, it’s for the world. Besides, in his scenario I get the feeling that the intention is for both Sam and Dean to die, so they’ll go out together to save everyone else.

“Dean would save Sam, but his life would be over, or he’d give up after without Cas.” - LMAO. No. Unless you want to argue that a smiling happy and content Dean is secretly trying to drown his sorrows in the finale when Sam is the one to bring up Jack and Cas, and Dean is basically like, “yeah sure, losing them was sad or whatever, but like we gotta live Sam. Now let’s destroy this pie.”

And my personal favourite…

“It totally depends on what season of the show we are talking about.” - Bitch please, it would make no difference. There isn’t a single episode, let alone whole Season, where Desn would try to save Cas before, or instead of, Sam. See my examples from Season 9 and 15 above. There are so many examples of Dean not doing much to save Cas, vs him begging, pleading, or trading humans to save Sam.

[saphronethaleph]

Stare Decisis

“All right, that’s all the spells I can think of,” Hermione said, lowering her wand and inspecting their new camp in the Forest of Dean.

“Which probably means there aren’t any spells left to cast,” Ron noted, wincing. “Ow. I hate splinching… so, uh. What do we do now?”

He frowned. “You know, we’d better win at this point, right? Because I bet Hermione could pass exams anywhere in the world, but you and me, Harry, we’re comparatively buggered.”

“If we don’t win we’re absolutely buggered, not just relatively,” Harry replied, groaning. “So, we’ve got a horcrux… now we need to destroy it, right? And find the rest.”

He looked up at Hermione. “How do we destroy them?”

“We need to use something powerfully destructive, powerful enough to break the magical protections on the horcrux,” Hermione replied, considering the locket they’d retrieved at such peril. “Unfortunately, there aren’t many such powerfully destructive kinds of magic – the only one we know is basilisk venom.”

“Oh, we’re fine, then,” Harry said, relieved. “Sidney can help.”

Both his friends looked at him in some confusion.

“...Sidney?” Hermione asked, eventually.

“Yeah,” Harry agreed.

“Who’s Sidney?” Ron said. “Is he one of your cousin Dudley’s mates?”

“What?” Harry asked. “No. Why would my cousin be friends with a basilisk? You’ve met him.”

“Have I?” Hermione asked. “I don’t think I have. If I did, it was so brief I don’t remember it.”

“I think we need to go back and start this conversation back at a bit where I understood what was going on,” Ron suggested. “I hate splinching. What do we do now?”

“Sidney,” Harry said, firmly. “Sidney is the solution to all our problems.”

He rethought.

“Sidney is the solution to some specific problems, one of which we have right now.”

“Who is Sidney?” Hermione asked. “Please, let’s not get distracted.”

Harry rummaged in his pockets, paused, rummaged in a different pocket, and pulled out a small red and gold bag.

“Alohomora,” he said, touching his wand to the knot, and it unravelled in a trice. “I still love that I can just do that instead of spending a minute undoing it.”

Smiling slightly, he pulled open the bag, and poured out approximately six inches of greenish snake.

The snake hissed slightly, mumbling something about nap time, and rolled over.

“...Harry?” Hermione said, slowly. “Is that a basilisk?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed.

“Why?” Ron said, not unreasonably.

“Well, I had this idea,” Harry explained, making sure not to look at the serpent in question while actually talking. “See, after I had to kill the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets I got to thinking about how it actually really sucks that there was someone a thousand years old in the school and I had to kill her, and also how actually there can’t be someone who’s just evil because of how they’re born, because there can’t be someone who’s just good because of how they’re born either, and I know people in the magical world think snakes are evil but they’re clearly wrong because the first snake I ever met just wanted to visit his homeland.”

Hermione and Ron looked at him, then each other, then back at him.

“You realize that’s enormously illegal, right?” Ron said, in an interested voice.

“Yeah, I didn’t tell anyone at first because of that, but at this point what’s one more crime?” Harry asked. “I’m already guilty of Being Harry Potter in the first degree.”

He stroked Sidney’s spine with a fingertip, then glanced up. “And, honestly, he’s been kind of helpful in my not going completely insane once or twice.”

“Not going completely insane?” Ron asked. “So, um, how come this Sidney is still alive, anyway? Hagrid’s got his cockerels back.”

“Silenced bag,” Harry explained. “It’s got a warming charm too, he likes it in there. I’ll probably have to get a bigger one or expand the inside in a decade or three.”

“...um,” Hermione said. “I was actually hoping for this topic to come up, but how old is Sidney?”

“About… four?” Harry said, frowning. “Yeah, he turned four not long ago. He’s a lot smarter than a human four year old, I assume, I haven’t actually met many of them but he’s better conversation than I was at eleven.”

“Oh, I see,” Hermione realized. “Didn’t you say the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets was fifty feet long?”

“Easily that!” Ron said. “I don’t see.”

“Fifty feet long, but nearly a thousand years old,” Hermione pointed out. “So that’s about twenty years a foot.”

“Say what you like about Salazar Slytherin, but he was a long term planner,” Harry noted. “Though he did hatch out at about four inches… all right, sleepyhead, wake up!”

Sidney mumbled something, burrowing into his own coils.

“Can’t basilisks kill you with their gaze?” Ron asked. “I assume you’ve got some kind of answer for that, just saying.”

“Yeah, at this point a prolonged staring match causes a headache,” Harry replied, as Sidney finally accepted that he wasn’t going to get back to sleep any time soon and yawned. “Hey there, mate. Got something for you to bite, it’d be a real help.”

“You’re sure it’s okay?” Sidney asked, tilting his head and yawning again. “Because I remember you were quite firm about the rules.”

Harry nodded.

“I know,” he agreed. “This is an exception because it’s a bit of the soul of that person who tried to kill me about… it’s got to be at least a dozen times by now.”

“Oh, that’s probably all right, then,” Sidney decided.

“Hagrid is going to love this,” Ron said, as Harry held out the locket and Sidney gave it a determined nibble. “Once you tell him, anyway.”

There was a sharp crack, and a kind of black mist flew out of the locket before dispersing.

“Ew,” Sidney said, doing the snake version of making a face. “How many more pieces are there? Because that didn’t taste very nice at all.”

“There might be a few more, but not many,” Harry said. “Want to go back and have a nap, or meet my friends?”

“If you’re being open about my existence, why not?” Sidney said, flicking his tail in something like a shrug, then coiled up into a little spiral.

“I’m almost sure I recognized one of those words,” Ron muttered.

Hermione was already on her second page of notes.

(so I saw a post about something similar to this, and decided to one-scene snippet it)

[theyonlyhadeachother]

i have so many bookmarked midam fics its insane. i dont know if i've read all of the midam fics on ao3, but i've def read a very large majority of them

just a few of my absolute favorites are below the cut. none of them are rated E, but if anyone is interested in some of those, shoot me an ask and let me know

----

Gen, 3,693 words, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1/1 chapters

bound to the marrow of how it feels by paradisecas

Summary: Ask any kid what their superpower would be, nine times out of ten the answer will be flying. Adam, son of a nurse and a bit of a goody-two-shoes, was always the odd one out choosing the noble imaginary superpower of healing people. If Adam could go back in time—and technically, he could—he’d change his answer. Not to flying, and not from healing; he knows now that he can have it all. He’d like to kneel down in front of baby-Adam and say, hey kid, someday you’re going to have everything anyone could ever want at your fingertips, and you’ll be sharing it with the love of your life. You’ll fly straight through the atmosphere and fix broken bones with a snap of your fingers and sit invisible in the corner of a room you’re not allowed in. You’ll eat until you can’t anymore and still have room for seconds. You’ll be able to pick up a car to save a baby, if that situation ever arises, and it won’t even be adrenaline that does it. He wants to say, no matter what nightmares come your way, something good is waiting for you too. You’ll share your body with someone who loves you. You won’t ever be alone again. You’ll always be warm.

Tags: Michael/Adam Milligan, Michael (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), Post-Canon, Michael Possessing Adam Milligan, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, michael dies but he gets better tho

hook and eye series by thishazeleyeddemon

Series rating of Mature, 19,945 words, No Archive Warnings Apply, 2 fics (2/2 and 1/1 respectively)

Tags: Michael/Adam Milligan, Michael (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Sam Winchester, The Empty | The Shadow (Supernatural), Witch Adam Milligan, Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Grief/Mourning, Bitterness, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Break Up, would you all like to hear about Michael essentially getting his ex to get back together with him, of course you would, Emotional Manipulation, Self-Esteem Issues, Adam Milligan is Not Forgotten, Adam Milligan is So Done, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Adam is such a bitter bitch in this one, it's okay y'all they'll get through it, I just was like Adam can have a little Being Mean and Unreasonable. As a treat, Men of Letters (Supernatural), more tags for Part 2!!, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, THE PROMISED. HAPPY ENDING., I REWROTE THIS SO MUCH I AM GOING TO BED, prays the rewriting paid off, Michael Steals From The Rich, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Angelic Grace Kink (Supernatural,) arguably - Freeform, Body Horror, although Adam would gut you for saying such things about Michael, obviously Michael is beautiful and perfect no matter how many eyes, Consensual Possession, Making Out smidgeon of angst. just a spicy dollop, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, by virtue of being a hook and eye-verse fic

Summary of the First Fic: you fit into me like a hook into an eye a fish hook an open eye - Margaret Atwood Michael succumbed to his Father's manipulations. He never wanted to destroy the Earth, but it was so hard, so hard, to find the words to fight back against his father when he was all alone. He never wanted to do that. He never wanted to leave Adam. Adam doesn't know that.

Two Weddings and an Engagement by lumpy_space_princess

Teen, 7,812 words, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1/1

Tags: Michael/Adam Milligan, Gabriel/Eileen Leahy/Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester, Michael (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Gabriel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Rowena MacLeod, Kevin Tran, Charlie Bradbury, Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Post-Canon Fix-It, Minor Castiel/Dean Winchester, Midam at the Destiel wedding, Midam at the Saileen wedding, Everybody Lives, This is crack so don't think too hard about it, Adam & Kevin & Charlie & Claire & Kaia Michael & Gabriel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Seriously everybody knows it but them, The Love Is Requited They're Just Idiots, They work it out in the end though

Summary: Adam massages fingers over his temples, and tries not to look morose. "Listen. You're not exactly telling me anything I haven't told myself. But there's just - there's baggage there, ok? It's been hard to look at the future when we've barely gotten used to having a present again." He huffs. "Anyway, I don't think he'd even want that. He's an-" "-an archangel, yeah, you've said. It was crap the last time you said it, too." Kevin props himself on his elbows, gazing intently at Adam. "How will you know if you don't try? How is it fair to him, that you just decide what he feels without asking him about it?"  Charlie nods. "Would you want him to treat you that way? It's obviously weighing on you. How would you feel, if he was keeping something this important from you?"  ----------------- Or: Michael and Adam, bless their hearts, are mutually in love. Strangely, they're the only ones who can't seem to see it.

the past is made of stardust (the future's shifting sand) by Anonymous

Teen, 30,461 words, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1/1

Tags: Michael/Adam Milligan, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Adam Milligan, Michael (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), The Empty | The Shadow (Supernatural), Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), Post-Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), Post-Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't in Heaven, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Non-Chronological Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, The Empty (Supernatural), Adam Milligan Saves Michael from the Empty, Michael Possessing Adam Milligan, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Kinda Fluff, Temporary Character Death, i am going to rewrite this. i mean it.

Summary: Adam knocked on the door and waited. And waited. And waited. He knocked again, and then it opened to Sam brandishing a gun, Dean behind him with a knife and a bottle of whiskey. When they saw him, they didn’t relax, but they didn’t attack either. “Adam?” Sam asked, hesitantly. “Or… Michael?” Adam knew he had to look ridiculous. Before, they’d seen him while he still had an archangel maintaining his body, but after the last day and a half? He was sweaty and sunburnt and dehydrated and he could almost feel the bags under his eyes. But another gift of the Cage was losing the ability to give a fuck what he looked like. “Michael isn't home right now,” Adam said. “And I’d like to know why.”

Mirror Of Change by QuicksilverCastiel

Teen, 2,127 words, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1/1

Tags: Michael/Adam Milligan, Serafina (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Raphael (Supernatural), Serafina is going through it, Or at least she's bluescreening on account of Michael's heart-eyes at Adam, Also Heaven ecology yay!, they/them pronouns for Raphael

Summary: When all is said and done, God defeated and the world righted again, Serafina takes on her biggest challenge yet: Going back to Heaven. Not to stay, but to see if the rumour of it 'changing' have any truth to it. Turn out, at least some archangels have definitely changed. And it may be because of another Adam.

your mother's son by darkmillennium

Teen, 10,633 words, No Archive Warnings Apply, 1/1

Tags: Michael/Adam Milligan, Michael & Adam Milligan, Michael (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Alternate Michael's Grace-Enhanced Monsters, POV Adam Milligan, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life, Fluff and Humor, Post-Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't in Heaven, Michael Possessing Adam Milligan, Adam Milligan is So Done, Developing Relationship, Romantic Tension, listen they're in love with each other we've all seen it, this is just 10k words of michael and adam living life, Enochian-Speaking Adam Milligan, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Summary: Adam wants a normal life. He really does. He wants, at least, as close to a normal life as he can get after spending ten years—a thousand years—in the Cage. And he’s got it, mostly. He’s got an apartment and a job and a closet full of clothes that aren’t the clothes he went to Hell in. He thinks he’s been managing pretty great, all things considered. But one day, Michael warns him that he’s sensed a pack of werewolves move into the area, and then people start dropping dead with their hearts ripped out, and.. Life isn't going to be as relaxed as he'd like it to be, is it?

[littleleaves13]

‼️ Supernatural season 5 spoilers ‼️

Hey what the fuck is up with Supernatural's portrayal of other world religions and pagan gods. because I'm not a fan? It's honestly just disrespectful and so ridiculously not researched. Full disclaimer that I'm coming at this from a Hindu standpoint.

In 5x19 "Hammer of the Gods" there's a convention of a bunch of other gods in the world, and I can't speak for all of them but Kali and Ganesha are so awfully portrayed and what is up with them all being cannibals lmao. The Hindu gods are canonically vegetarian and Kali Ma is the destroyer of bad, evil things and protects people (especially women) who can't stand up for themselves. Kali Ma is an avatar of Parvati, the Queen Mother, and she's absolutely badass and takes no one's bullshit. She's angry and vengeful but she only dishes it out to people who deserve it, and definitely not innocents caught in the crossfire. She's a goddess. She knows right from wrong. Even Shiva, known as "The Destroyer," is the destroyer of evil things, but Western media just depicts him as an evil god. Ganesha is the most peaceful god that we all pray to as the Remover of Obstacles and he's just a sweet kid whose head got cut off and replaced with an elephant head and he eats sweets and plays harmless little pranks on all the other gods. And the fact that he's a full fucking elephant in this episode is ridiculous like...do your fucking research? The blood spell stuff is ridiculous too like, if Kali Ma wanted you dead you'd be dead.

This is just infuriating and it's a theme that's come up a lot before in Supernatural. Dean is always like "oh I'm gonna gank you bloodthirsty motherfuckers" as if they're not gods? I know the show is years old but it's annoying and misinformed. The fact that they include pagan gods and gods of other world religions (Hindu mythology, Norse mythology, etc) is so cool and there is genuinely so much potential for it. In the episode at one point Kali Ma said that there are billions of people who aren't Christian and that other religions and other gods have existed for thousands of years before Christianity, and that if there's anyone who gets to destroy the world it would be them and she's so right for that? There was so much potential for exploring what the Apocalypse means for people who don't believe in Christianity and having a whole convention of powerful gods of other cultures could've genuinely been an arsenal against Lucifer if they'd bothered to do their research. Instead they're all "primitive" and "chimps" (Dean's words) and eat people.

Honestly, the angels are just as awful and they have even less regard for human life so if Sam and Dean want to kill a bunch of bloodthirsty murderers it should be them.

I love Supernatural and it has it's silly goofy moments of awful writing but this is just one thing that pisses me off to no end.

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Supernatural, Season 8 Sam Musings (Ranting):

There are many things I love about Season 8, like The church scene in Sacrifice, or the four (four!) brother-hugs we get throughout the season, or the moments of Dean trying to take care of Sam (even though Sam fights it), or having side characters that I actually like (for the most part … not Amelia), or the good moments of bad-brother-communication (there are some), but what I absolutely hate is the sacrificing of character for "story" that we see in this season.

So, shocking as this will be to the few who follow me or have read my thoughts (rants) before, but I’m a Sam-leaning brothers fan. And as someone who is Sam-girl adjacent, the beginning of Season 8 makes me ragey. Ironically, it was partially the "abuse" of Sam's character by the writers (among other things) that actually confirmed my tilt towards Sam because it forced me to think more deeply about Sam and his motivations. The writers also pulled some shady crap with Dean's character.

So, you can find my ramblings under the cut, if interested …

So, let’s tackle Sam's oft considered worst offense first: Sam not "looking for" Dean. What the actual fuck was this? I mean, I get it in theory; they brought Sam low in the start of the season, making him "betray" and "fail" Dean again, in order to high ten his rise to Savior Sam 2.0, but it was lazy writing, and almost unforgivable in two ways, out of character actions and failure to meaningfully explain said actions.

First, I’m sorry, but it’s just out of character to have Sam—Psychotic Without Dean—Winchester not look for his brother. We have so much canon proof of this that him not looking for Dean in season 8 is almost offensive. In "Faith" when Dean is going to die, Sam finds him to a "faith healer," and when it turns out another life was exchanged for Dean's, Sam obviously isn’t happy about it … but, I don’t exactly see him wishing to undo it either. In "In My Time of Dying," Sam is totally distraught throughout the entire episode because Dean is dying, even willing to embarrass himself in front of Dean by pulling out a "talking board" (or whatever it was called) just to try and communicate with him, and he wanted to save him so badly but didn’t know how. These two episode alone show us that Sam would not be okay with just "loosing" Dean, and that if Sam thinks there is even a hope of saving Dean, he isn’t just going to shrug and walk away. So, at the end of Season 7, if he thought Dean was still alive, the Sam we know should have been exhaustive,y hunting for Dean.

Second, if Sam thought Dean was dead, which I think was what the show was suggesting but could have made it more explicit, Sam should have been going insane, as he’s done in the past. In Mystery Spot, Sam basically becomes a revenge-driven automaton, even stabbing Fake Bobby in hope of getting Dean back. And when Dean is killed by the hellhound in "No Rest for the Wicked," Sam is destroyed. Season 4 shows us that Sam tried to trade his soul for Dean's, just an instant trade, but the demon wouldn’t deal. We see that Sam was full-on suicidal after losing Dean, basically attempting suicide by demon, drinking and taking pills. If Ruby hadn’t intervened (for her own evil purposes, but still…), he would have gotten himself killed, not might have. When none of the immediately self-distractive options worked, Sam once again went into full-on revenge mode. Sam without Dean, or at least Sam without a Dean alive somewhere in the world, is not okay. He is desperate and frightening.

Arguably, he’s not actually okay in Season 8 either, but his distress after losing Dean was too subtle, to the point that it almost makes him look a bit cold. So, to me at least, not seeing Sam very obviously fucked up, in some way beyond dating Amelia, over Dean's disappearance/death is a disservice to the character.

On the other hand, if the writers just needed Sam to not look for Dean because the drama was just too delicious for them … more important than, you know, staying true to character … then they should have bloody well shown us why. And showing us Sam shacking up with a bitchy pain in the ass Veterinarian was not giving him anything like fair treatment or good characterization, or understandable motivation.

Now, the subtext is that there was more going on in Sam's head than, "Oops, I hit a dog and met a rude vet. I guess I’ll just give up wondering if my brother is alive and move in with this woman who isn’t even particularly nice to me." He even said that hunting had gotten everyone he loved killed, and he that just "ran," in the first episode of the season. So, to me, this means Sam definitely thought Dean was dead, but the show doesn’t actually make it explicitly clear, at least I don’t think so. And this matters because there is a big difference between thinking Dean was lost and not looking for him VS thinking Dean is dead and not trying to sell his soul (or something else mystical and dangerous) to bring him back to life. It’s actually breaking the cycle and healthier for Sam to believe Dean is in heaven, and try to move on, but the show frames his actions, through Dean and Bobby as this huge failure of character. Also, Sam choosing running away from hunting (which has gotten everyone he loves killed) VS giving into revenge and basic insanity again, while not healthy in its escapism, is actually better than becoming an obsessive psycho. So, not just the fact that Sam didn’t look for Dean that is the problem, it’s the execution of how and why he didn’t look for Dean, or lack of exploration around these issues, that I’m especially annoyed by.

So, because we got what we got in the start of Season 8, my explanation to make it work, or headcanon, is that when Sam thought Dean was killed (not just missing) in the explosion of dick 😏, he utterly fell apart. As in, he collapsed in a heap and lost himself in his own head for a while. Maybe he even went a little insane again, sure that he was having a terrible hell-ucination again, even though Cas had supposedly taken his insanity onto himself at this point. Maybe he even feared he was still in the cage after all, and living through yet another nightmare scenario. So, Sam shattered. When he finally pulls himself together, he realizes he has two options, lose himself again in revenge and obsession over trying to bring Dean back to life, or give up the life that has brought him nothing but pain (and Dean, but Dean's gone now). So, he goes with the latter, thinking surly Dean would prefer that he try to live a normal, non-hunting life rather than utterly losing himself in suicidal behavior and revenge again … right?

What the show doesn’t bother to address either, and what many fans seem not to consider or care about, is that pre-Season 8 Sam has only had the devil out of his head for a matter of weeks/months at this point, and he’s still chalk full of fairly newly recalled hell trauma from being stuck in the cage with said devil for over a hundred years. Dean still wasn’t okay in Season 5, a season after getting out of his 40 year stint in hell, and the show addressed this pretty clearly, which is good. With Sam, the show doesn’t bother to remind the audience of his trauma or link it in any meaningful way to Sam's decision to give up hunting and not try to get Dean beck.

I think that’s the most unforgivable part of the first half of the season for me, not showing us in a way that, while some fans might still not consider it a good enough reason, the audience can at least understand why Sam made the choice he did. If the writers wanted Sam to make a decision that was not consistent with what we have seen of him this far, then they needed to show us why he acted differently this time. The show gave us a buttload of flashbacks (often not smoothly), so they could have very easily given us a few flashbacks of Sam falling apart, choosing to try to live without going insane over Dean, grieving his brother. We could have seen these things and still had time for him to meet and stay with a woman (not Amelia) for even, say, six months before Dean gets out of purgatory. Dean could even not be satisfied with Sam's explanation, or Sam could get defensive and not tell Dean how bad he was doing at first, so the brother drama could still be in tact, but at least the audience would understand Sam's motivations more. In a show where Dean usually gets the benefit of the doubt due to being our more regular POV protagonist, the narrative, and his protectiveness, it was a poor choice not to flesh out Sam's decisions more.

Season 8 was one of the rare times we actually see things from Sam's POV fairly often, and they wasted it on an unlikable love interest and half-explained motivations. The way the season is structured, it looks like it’s actually trying to argue that Amelia was the reason Sam gave up hunting (and Dean), but then it depicts her as incredibly harsh, annoying, and, frankly, not worth giving up Dean for. Giving Sam this particular love interest, one he has no chemistry with, makes it even harder to empathize with him because we (or most of the audience) don’t like her.

The real reason Sam gives up is essentially that hunting cost him too much, and he was too broken to carry on after losing Dean. But, the emphasis on the relationship, even though it’s explained that Sam and Amelia were basically just two broken people pulled together by their pain, doesn’t do enough to actually make it appealing, or to make me buy that Sam even loves her. I get that the show isn’t on the side of Sam living a normal life, and that’s actually fine, but making the relationship so … lame just helps stack the deck against Sam.

Meanwhile, Dean's friend-who-isn’t-Sam is incredibly likable, so we sympathize with Dean giving up Benny for Sam mid season, but most of us have been waiting for the moment when we no longer have to see Amelia being grating all over our screens since pretty much the first time we saw her. Thus, Dean's jealousy, dismissive remarks regarding Amelia, and his casual cruelty in letting Sam think she’s in danger just to get him out of the way, have less weight with the audience because so many of us don’t like her anyway. Whereas, Sam's sudden hate for vampires when he’s always been the more sympathetic brother when it comes to monsters, feels like it comes out of nowhere. And he ends up looking like a dick because the audience knows that Benny is a good guy (vampire), even though Sam doesn’t. Dean is no less jealous of Amelia than Sam is of Benny, but it comes across as more unreasonable in Sam's case. And he seems to be the only one who is often considered to be acting petty.

Here too, I feel the show does a bad job showing Sam's motivations. Sam has an instant hate-on for Benny, and his stated reasons are pretty much … he’s a vampire. And when arguing with Dean, the show has Sam bring up Amy. I mean, sure, Amy was a more recent monster and issue in their lives, but she isn’t a fitting Benny parallel, in my opinion. To me, Benny was to Sam, what Ruby was to Dean. They are both monsters: vampire VS demon. They both saved a brother’s life: Ruby saved a suicidal Sam VS Benny saving Dean in a land of Monsters. Both fought alongside a brother for a shared goal: Sam killing Lilith vs Dean getting out of Purgatory. Both monsters caused jealousy for sort of replacing the other brother: Sam chose to trust Ruby over Dean regarding Lilith VS Dean literally telling Sam that Benny (unlike Sam) has never let him down, and he lies to Sam to protect Benny. Sam should have brought up the mistake of trusting Ruby in their argument, if he thinks Dean is wrong to trust Benny. Of course, if Sam so much as said "Ruby," Dean would probably just fixate on Sam not listening to him back then. The thing is, looking at the Benny issue in relation to Ruby, it’s actually fair that Sam distrusts Benny. Of course, i do I think he’s also jealous and feels guilty.

Anyway, the season then sort of tries to make up for Sam being hard to sympathize with, by making Dean be straight up cruel to him a few times, which I don’t love either.

[mooseleyfics]

“I ship it.” “Oh, we’re actually together.”

“I ship it” “Oh we’re actually together”

“Thanks for coming to help,” Sam smiled at his friend, earning a playful pat on his shoulder as she grinned at him. 

“You kidding me? When you and Dean mentioned a demonic virus spreading online, I was hooked!” Charlie shook her head. “Although, I think we’re dealing with more than a demon if I’m being honest. Doesn’t add up,”

“Yeah. Dean and I found this,” Sam pulled out some more notes, passing them to his friend. “We’ve dealt with cursed objects before because of a ghost attachment, but what if something else placed a curse on an item, rather than attach to it?” 

“Hm,” Charlie hummed out loud, glancing at the obscure runes and etched symbols. “A witch…that makes more sense,” Charlie was pulling out her laptop, furiously typing away. “But what would a witch gain from working with a demon…” She was talking to herself as Sam moved beside her, pulling more notes out to help her. 

-

“So get this,” Sam’s brows were furrowed, finding the exact symbol Charlie was examining on her laptop. “This symbol was used by witches in the Dark Ages to extract demons that were possessing humans. It ended up extracting the soul of the human too,” Charlie makes a face at that, tapping her lips in thought. 

“What I’m hearing,” Charlie begins, staring at Sam with a look of pure confusion. “Is that this demonic curse virus thing is dangerous to demons too,” She said, scrunching her nose. “Why would a demon work with a curse like that, knowing it could hurt them or their kind? If it’s that powerful of a sigil…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “It makes me wonder if this curse has a specific target in mind. Why else would you risk other demons coming into contact with this curse? I mean, everyone uses the internet, right? I imagine that wouldn't exclude demons..." She blinked, watching the different expressions flicker across Sam's face.

Sam felt like an absolute idiot, his lips parting as his eyes widened in understanding. Charlie reeled back when the man lunged for his phone, his movement shaky as he brought the phone to his ear in a matter of seconds. She closed her laptop, watching the tall man in interest, especially when he slumped and gave a long sigh of relief. 

“Hey, Crowley,” Charlie’s eyes nearly bulged out her head at the name, looking at Sam like he had three heads. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” She watched as the corner of his lips turned up in a small, but fond smile. “I think you might be in danger though,” 

It’s quiet for a moment and Charlie watches in intrigue as a small flush spreads across his face. A huff escapes from him as he fondly rolls his eyes again, lips quirking even more. 

“Two words. Your mother,” Sam said nonchalantly. It was quiet again and Sam snorted softly. “Okay. See you then,” 

When Sam hung up, Charlie was looking at him with even wider eyes. 

“When you say Crowley do you mean…”

“The king of Hell,” Sam finished for her, earning another look of awe from the woman. 

“What a day,” She mumbled to herself. 

-

“Thanks for the warning, Moose,” Crowley was smirking at him and Charlie couldn’t help but notice the softness in the hazel eyes. “I have to admit, this plot was more creative than the last,” The cursed item was completely destroyed, no longer posing a threat to anyone.

“Let me know if you need help with her,” Sam mumbles back, flushing as the demon smirks at him. “Dean still has a grudge against her,” Crowley hums softly, his eyes briefly flicking down to look at something that Charlie can’t see. “And I do too,” There is a strange beat between them, and Charlie swears that the demon has glanced at her for a few seconds. It's brief, but she swears the demon had held Sam's hand for a split-second before he completely moved away from the hunter, a flippancy in his movements. 

“Looks like I have a mess to clean up in Hell. Remind me to reward you for all your hard work, darling,” Crowley sends Sam a playful wink before vanishing with a snap. 

“So that was Crowley,” Charlie speaks up, coming to stand beside Sam with her arms crossed, her expression one of concentration. Eyeing the flush on Sam’s face, Charlie can’t help but be reminded of Dean and a certain angel. 

“Yeah. He’s a great ally to have. He's like family,” 

“Uh-huh,” She said, grinning mischievously at him. “I ship it,” The flush that spread like wildfire on Sam’s cheeks was amusing, and she was about to laugh when the man cleared his throat, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Oh, we’re actually together.” Sam awkwardly confessed, earning a gasp from Charlie as she gripped his shoulder. 

“Oh my god, Sam!” She grinned widely at him. “At least one Winchester isn’t too afraid to be gay,” Sam choked on her words, listening with fondness as she ranted about Dean and Castiel on the drive back to the bunker.

[coffe-book-club]

i love you so 𓍢ִ໋🍂₊˚୨୧⋆｡

info: toxic tom kaulitz x sweet fem! reader

summary: not all that glitters is gold.

disclaimers: toxic relationship, bullying, mention of anal sex and blood, love bombing, handling, emotional dependence.

with this one-shot i'm absolutely not saying that tom kaulitz is a bad person, this is a figment of my imagination.

a month has passed. at first tom he seemed like the sweetest and most loving guy ever, he always wanted to carry my backpack, he always wanted to go to my favorite coffee shop, to get beagles with avocado and scrambled egg inside. always showed up at my door with a bouquet of beautiful flowers, to then prepare a dessert and then cuddle on the sofa watching gilmore girls, or simply spending the afternoon making love. write me love letters... in short he seemed like the perfect guy. but when we decided to let me get engaged again... he became the toxic and bad guy he always was again, as if he had transformed.

i wanted to give tom one more chance, because i still loved him. but he hasn't changed at all and will destroy everything that i build in this month. he made me believe that he was sweet and loving, while he was just manipulating and brainwashing me to have power over me again. my biggest mistake was to believe that he could really change.

he made me believe that he loved me, so that i would fall for him again. and this is the ultimate proof that he will never change. every time i give him a chance, he will break my heart once again.

i have always worked very hard at school, always taking a lot of notes during lessons and studying a lot at home and doing the homework assigned by the teachers. wanting to go to a good university, always getting the highest grades in the class, the professors and the dean always rewarded me in some way. but the only thing that has always mattered to me is making my parents proud and every time I show them my tests or go to parent and teacher interviews, they always come home with a twinkle in the eyes.

i work very hard in order to achieve my dream of studying at the best university in the country. i want to be able to make my parents proud too. and as my grades are among the highest of my class, my parents support me with everything. they want their daughter to be successful and also see how hard i work for it. i spend long hours, learning at home on my own, just to be successful because i know that it will make my parents proud. i want to achieve this dream of mine, at all costs, even if it means sacrificing much of my time and life.

after a long session of angry sex, where tom put me in every possible and imaginable position and with as many sex toys. now i'm lying on my stomach, with my legs still shaking. while tom is lying on his back, smoking a joint. while we are still naked, while with his free hand he continues to spank me. i observe his well-defined body. his beautiful face and his chest, his big cock, still perfectly hard and erect... “uhm... i feel so so good and satisfied. but i didn't even think that anal sex would hurt so much the first time”

“shut up! you are disgusting and no one cares about what you want or what you feel, fuck” i'm still lying on my stomach and tom is lying next to me. the bed is covered in my blood and sweat, and i can feel how much of an absolute failure i am. he looks at me with disgust and i remember the feelings i had only a few hours ago. i feel so ashamed of myself.

i feel a shooting pain in my chest, at the height of my poor heart. now too broken. numerous tears form on my eyes at his mean and cruel words.

i turn my face away, so i can watch the gray sky, from my window next to my bed. my sheets are slightly stained with blood and cum. afterwards i will have to wash them well by hand and then put them in the washing machine. “i'm so sorry”

“you should be sorry. you are the worst mistake of my life!” he still looks at me with disgust. he doesn't care that my heart is broken and that i feel so bad right now. he doesn't care that he completely destroyed me again, without any reason at all. he doesn't care about me or my feelings, he never has and never will. “you really thought i loved you and changed? you can only disappoint me” he says to me in a hateful way.

“but... but it's you who have returned to me, not i to you” my long hair falls on my white sheets with little blue flowers, while tears roll down my chubby cheeks slightly red from the long sex session. the sadness persists in my poor heart, now too broken and destroyed. from the person with whom i'm unfortunately still madly in love.

he chuckles in a cold way and shakes his head slightly. “tou always believed every word i said and believed in every lie that i told you. you always went back to me. it wasn't me who returned to you” he smiles at me, but his smile turns into a cold and hateful expression when he says the following words.

“i could never love you, you useless hoe” he just wanted to break me, to get me back to him, so he could destroy my self-esteem and confidence once again. i close my eyes, letting my salty tears roll down my cheeks, not saying a single word. i had given him my heart right away. i had given him all my love and sweetness, thinking that he could love me too. but i was wrong. i close my eyes and the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. i'm so sad right now and i feel so broken. he doesn't care at all what he's saying and how he's hurting me. “you are useless, you can't do a single thing! you are not good for anything at all”

the words hurt me deeply. and i think about how i always tried to make him happy, but it was never enough for him. i sniffle, then get out of bed and sit down with difficulty. my butt hurts really bad, but the pain in my heart almost makes me forget the pain of the long anal sex session. i bring my hands closer to my cheeks, to try to dry them. under her expectant gaze and his cold heart.

“you are so stupid! you have wasted everything i have said to you. and that little brain of yours will never be able to change. you are a stupid ho and will always be one” he says to me, his expression not showing a single emotion. i hear his cruel words, which only break my heart more. i still remember how he said he loved me and now i feel so stupid, because i believe his words again. i didn't learn a thing from the last months.

i look down, observing my sheet where in some places it is stained with blood and others with cum. saying nothing, remaining silent and heartbroken. all my attempts to make him happy and loved always went up in smoke. my treatments have never been of any use, as well as my love for him.

he smiles at me again and kisses my forehead, while my tears roll down my cheeks and my butt hurts so badly that i can't even stay still anymore. “it's always your fault. you are the reason for all the bad things that happen to you” he strokes my hair gently and still gives him that loving look. my biggest mistake was to give him another chance. “i only wanted the best for you, but you always ruined everything...” he says to me, with such a calm and loving tone in his voice. he kisses my forehead softly, stroking my hair. trying to manipulate me further, trying to make me believe that it's only my fault. “i'm... i'm so sorry”

i answer him with a trembling and extremely sad voice, continuing to look at my sheets, which until a few hours ago were clean and fragrant. i just want him to hold me in his arms, kissing my head, caressing me with love. telling me that everything is fine and that he apologizes for his mean words and for breaking my heart. but i know that will never happen and that i will always have to apologize.

“oh, my lovely sweetheart...” he strokes my hair again and then caresses my face gently, while he looks into my eyes. “i'm so sorry, that i said the things i just said to you. i shouldn't have. you are the sweetest, most caring and loving person i have ever met. i don't deserve someone like you...” he tries to manipulate me once again. and it works perfectly. “please forgive me, my sweet angel” i move closer to his warm body, resting my cheek on his shoulder. wrapping my arms around his waist, sobbing over and over again. knowing deep in my heart, everything he's telling me, he doesn't mean it.

now i'm back where i always end up when i'm with him. i'm broken and i cry and he comforts me. he gives me the love and affection i so desperately need right now, but which he will take away from me again within a few days or a few hours. “shhh, everything will be fine, y/n” he kisses my forehead and strokes my hair gently, while i cry in his arms.

small sobs leave my lips, as tears roll down my cheeks and lightly wet his shoulder. you hold him tighter to my body, seeking that warmth of love that i desperately need. in need of his love, which i will soon no longer receive, because it is a matter of moment. for those few minutes or hours, i can feel loved again. he gives me that affection and that warmth that i crave so much. i'm in each others arms again and nothing could make me happier right now. “how much i love you...” he whispers softly, while i hold onto him even tighter. i know that this feeling i have right now won't last long, but i don't care about that right now. all that matters right now is that i feel happy, loved and appreciated again. i miss him so much and this is the proof that i still love him.

i bring my lips close to his neck, kissing him softly and with love. “i love you so much, my little moon” i speak to him softly, sobbing from time to time, tears still streaming down my face, crying in his arms. “please stop crying, my baby. i don't like seeing you so sad. you don't deserve to be sad...” he looks at me with the sweetest expression imaginable. he strokes my hair again and kisses my cheek, while he tries to convince me that he loves you once again.

“i'm so sorry for my earlier mean comments...” he says to me, smiling in a loving way, while i still cry in his arms...

hii 💌 how are you? these days i'm more at work, than at home or with my friends. in my old profile 'i love you so' there was a mini-fic, so i think i'll publish the other parts here too ☺️ next week i will publish more headcanons, especially on georg listing and gustav schäfer, because they deserve a lot of love too. i apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors, but english is not my native language. xoxo flo.

[episodeoftv]

Round 1 of 6, Group 1 of 4

Propaganda is under the cut (671 words) - may contain spoilers

summaries (pulled from imdb or wikis)

propaganda

Chén Qíng Lìng/The Untamed - 1.50 Episode 50

The mastermind who plans everything has appeared. He's not someone who wouldn't think he would be the one who is behind everything, including Wei Wuxian's comeback. Who would that be?

I nominate this final on grounds of CCP information control, censorship and homophobia. They were so scared of the power of wangxian that they ended up banning ao3 in china and in the show they have to inexplicably have them part ways just to hammer home the no-homo. Plus the show is just kind of objectively bad.... but it rewires your brain all the same

Supernatural - 15.20 Carry On

cw: suicide

After Chuck is defeated and someone takes his place, Sam and Dean go about their life of hunting, but things don't turn out as expected.

1) you know why 2) god. where do i fucking start. this episode completely ignores this large cast of characters that were considered family in order to make it the "just two brothers" show again, scrapping basically every shred of character development shown throughout the course of the show, cutting out incredibly important characters at the last second (i.e. eileen being replaced with blurry wife for no fucking reason, cas not being there at all despite the whole love confession/ dying for dean that happened just two episodes before). in the penultimate episode the boys fight god. the finale? a random vampire from an episode of season one, who up until this point had never been mentioned again. then we have Dean being impaled on a very phallic looking spike and, after a speech about it just being about the brothers, dies. he then goes to heaven, where his father figure tells him his abusive dad is just down the road. he hops in his car (also in heaven, somehow) and drives for the next 60 odd years waiting for Sam to die. meanwhile, sam is moving on with blurry wife and i shown with a son named dean (as seen stitched onto his clothes), and we eventually see sam, now old and clad in the crustiest looking wig i have ever seen, die in the hospital. he goes to heaven, meets Dean on a bridge, and the last shot is the entire cast and crew on the bridge saying goodbye, completely shattering the fourth wall because fuck it, who cares anymore. and this isn't even mentioning everything that happened after. just an absolute mess the whole way through. 3) Random villain from season 1 kills one of the main characters, he goes to heaven and drives around while the other main character gets a montage of growing old a horrible wig. And that's not even all. 4) It abandoned 15 years of series theme and character growth, veered away from the natural story line and failed to resolve major plot threads. Dean deserved better, and so did Cas. See also Jared's terrible wig, Dean jr, Dean driving through heaven for five minutes... 5) Dean dies in the most anticlimactic way, cheap wig, blurry wife 6) There was no Castel :( 7) I mean... 8) destroyed every character arc in one fell swoop. the guy who tried to kill himself and struggled with depression throughout the show ended up killing himself anyway! was cas’s death even important? who was blurry wife? why was the absolute ugliest toddler imaginable cast to play Sam’s son? but in order to truly grasp how decimating this finale was, you have to understand the queerbaiting between 15.18 and the finale. why did Misha post that pic in the onion field with Uriel. why was Misha originally credited to be in 19 episodes of the final season on IMDb. why was . Hrrgghh. 9) Do I even need to write propaganda for this one? Even though it was the series finale we are still here after 3 years 😂 Title said 'carry on', but the fandom said 'nah, time for season 16'. 10) Bad old man makeup and no castiel 11) Everything had been neatly wrapped up in the previous episode. Then they decided "Hey you know what would be great? If we just killed one of the main characters." They killed him for no reason. He deserved to live a full life, have a family, retire, but nope! He met his match in a RUSTY NAIL. Not to mention that there were terrible wigs, blurry wives, and subtextual incest vibes involved.

+ After it aired, one of the actors unfollowed everyone who had anything to do with the episode.

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Maybe I’m the odd one out here but What is and What Should Never Be always absolutely destroys me. I weep for almost the entire episode.

Dean has a home. He has someone who loves him. His life is normal and safe. And I cry.

The way he looks at Mary when he sees her for the first time. The way he nearly crumbles when she says “I told you angels were watching over you”. And then he hugs her with everything he has. He’s so happy to be back with him mom, back in his childhood home. His mom makes him lunch and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He gets to mow the lawn like a normal person. The trunk of his car isn’t full of weapons. He’s just ordinary, and he’s so happy about it. So I cry.

And the way he hugs Jess? He only ever met the girl once but he knows how much she means to Sam. And he knows that losing her almost killed his brother. And so he hugs her as tight as he can, because he’s so thrilled that she’s alive and Sam is happy. And I cry.

But what also kills me is the way that Sam and his mom talk about Dean. They’re always asking if he’s been drinking. They’re suspicious of all of his actions and his affections. Maybe the version of Dean from this life wasn’t exactly on the straight and narrow, but they talk about him like he’s a deadbeat. So I cry.

Jesus Christ, and when Dean goes to talk to his dad at the cemetery?

“It's like my old life is… is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?”

He doesn’t say “why can’t I have the life I want?” Sure, he asks why he has to be a hero. But he makes it more about Sam and his mom. Because he wants them to have the lives they deserve. And this moment just gives us another look at what a bastard John was. Dean knew how dismissive and rude John would be. He knew that John would never choose his own son’s happiness over the lives of strangers. And he’d probably scream at Dean for even considering the “selfish” option. The way Dean says that his old life doesn’t want him to be happy also kills me. Because it’s like, no matter where he goes or what he does, he’s destined for misery. So I sob.

And so Dean goes to hunt the Djinn. He chooses the lives of others over everything, like he always does. And he realizes his new life isn’t real. He realizes he’s been unconscious this entire time, and that Jess is dead. His mom is dead. Carmen doesn’t really exist. And I cry.

So he’s ready to kill himself, but the way that his family tries to convince him to stay?

Oh my god. Spiegel im Spiegel starts playing, and Sam asks “why’d you have to keep digging?”

Mary tells him to put the knife down. She says it doesn’t matter that this life isn’t real, it’s still better than anything he had before. And that yeah, in real life, he will die in a few days. But it will feel like years. And there will be “No more pain. Or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety,” none of which Dean has in his real life

But Dean still chooses to return to his life, because he cares more about our saving people than he does about his own happiness.

And he tells Sam about the fake life the djinn created for him. About how Sam was happy with Jess. And their mom was going to have grandchildren. Sam commends him for having the strength to fight it, to leave it behind. And Dean says, “But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've... sacrificed so much.”

and it’s like, damn. Why can’t Dean ever be truly happy? Cause even in this “happy” version of his life, everything was tinged with pain and sadness and grief. And I just wish he could get a break. So I cry and cry and cry and cry.

[mr-nauseam]

Hi , so you asked if I have any dean highbottom thoughts and will my view of him is mostly empathic

( keep In mind that I'm a movie only fan and I heard that in the book he's supposedly a lot worse but also I'm literally the worst in analyzing complex characters)

Now I agree with your post that he probably used to be extremely dehumanizing towards the districts if coming up with the hunger games was more or less supposed to be just a dumb joke

What makes me empathize with him the most is that when the dark days ended he could have chosen to become resentful of the districts but he didn't instead he tried his best to stop the games and felt guilty the moment the first child was killed and I am willing to pay for finding out the things he did to try to stop the games I want to learn more about his efforts in doing that

It's also just the absolute worst nightmare to be in to be known for something you didn't mean to create and it causes immense suffering and to not only be credited for it but to have to be the public figure for it every year like I don't blame him for turning to morphling and the fact that he is mocked for it is really missed up because addiction is no joke

I also adore him for being mean to Coriolanus ik there are people who hate on him for it but anyone who's mean to Coriolanus has my absolute respect you can't get me to empathize with this blonde Twink even if you held me at gunpoint

This is random but I have been thinking about an interaction between him and ginnee

Sorry if this is all over the place

This will be an interesting conversation because I am a single book fan!!!! The movie is ok but as a Sejanus Plinth fan I can't with everything they cut out of him (his relationship with Marcus, his family scenes, and a long list of etc). I usually joke that the movie is Snow propaganda in fact. Everything is done to make him look better hahaha! Although Casca from the movie is probably one of my favorite portraits!!!

It's I think a good visualization to what Casca would look like if he wasn't so dead inside and out. Especially on the outside. I wouldn't say as someone who rereads the book almost daily that Casca is worse in the book in fact I would say it's easier to have sympathy for him. The miserable worm (Coriolanus, especially this guy SUCKS SO BAD IN THE BOOK), Gaul, Livia, Arachne, Grandma Snow and maybe Lucky are the characters I think are worse in the book 😭, the rest come off quite a bit better in the book than in the movie!

Casca is simply more clearly a man destroyed by guilt and addiction. He looks sick, he looks BAD!!! As you say his addiction is no game and I think this is made very clear in the text but there are some pretty good scenes about him like the interview he has with Lucky Flickerman! Where they say ON NATIONAL TELEVISION THAT THE CHILDREN OF THE CAPITOL AND THE CHILDREN OF THE DISTRICT ARE NO DIFFERENT!!!

I'm glad you agree with that idea because I think it really makes everything more interesting about him and I think we have a good basis for believing it. Even if Casca didn't go around like Crassus saying hateful things every 5 minutes I do think he was indifferent to the pain of the districts (Like most people in the Capitol really). I don't think he would lose sleep or care to think about the hardships they faced, he didn't care because they seemed like unimportant issues and it was easy to have such pessimistic ideas about humanity until the war happens.

I think it was in fact the dark days and what he saw that made him understand that in the end they in the Capitol and in the districts were people of equal worth. It was just seeing the worst of humanity that broke down this very intriguing belief that somehow they were better because they weren't.

Casca still has pessimistic ideas I mean he changed his focus to self-destruction but it did go a long way to understanding that people in the districts are people. The responsibility of the games as much as it tortures him is what I personally believe made Casca have to confront that ugly truth that he had the power to do something and didn't in the past because he didn't think the situation in the districts was something worth worrying about before!

I think that's why sometimes I'm kind of mean on Casca hahaha bc while he did not want to create the games as we know them, he does have a responsibility because he comes from a privileged and probably powerful position to some extent. I don't think he had a Snow's influence but he was far from a working class citizen whose circumstances are bigger than him. No. No. No. No.

Casca should have known better if he had cared to know better. He could have done something but he didn't. He didn't do it or think about it until it was quite late and his guilt was undeniable. The bloodletting was already on his hands.

(And never in his complains to Crassus he talked realky talk about how morally wrong the proposal was from their part but more of a "You used me damned!" Pluriblus the neutral narrator show us this. Which is a valid feeling but there's that thing and in general to have been friends with Crassus so intimately. Terrible terrible choice Casca! I forgive you because you kinda react he sucks at a decent age but still...)

It also strikes me that he is still so angry with Crassus. I mean the fault is Gaul's about the games. And Casca is no fool, he is well aware of that, but still he is angry and resentful. Is for other reasons that he's bitter enough to be a bitch with Crassus's son (which btw I support 100% his RIGHTS AND WRONGS. He shouldn't be annoying a student yes but is Coriolanus the student so he have rights and its fun as hell everytime he do it 😆)

I have always wondered if it has to do with this issue that the responsibility for a project he did not want to happen or devise fell on his shoulders when that responsibility might not have been his alone -or not his at all- if Crassus was alive and other feelings of their complicated relationship.

Sometimes I wonder Casca would have fought so fiercely if he was not in the eyes of all the culprit of the games? I don't know but it's interesting to think about it. And in the Canon, he do try to fought before his addiction get worst. Which is A LOT!!!

I too would kill to know what he tried though to stop the games. I personally believe his position as dean is influenced by his attempt to make a change. I don't know how safe it is to make this claim but at least Snow implies that Casca has been the dean all the years he studied at the academy so I think there is a good chance he will be the one to accept Sejanus into the academy.

Before he lost his prestige and good reputation I think it would make sense that Casca could convince the others that Strabo's funding to the academy was worth allowing his son an education. Perhaps he thought this could influence the students in a good way. If they met someone from the district when they are young and more capable of change... although it end up be a totally failed plan. (But it's worth saying that I don't remember Casca ever being rude to Sejanus. He even seemed concerned about him a little bit!

Ginee was a tribute from D6 isnt? I WOULD LOVEEE HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS. Since Casca give Lucy Gray MONEY AND APOLOGY!!! I think he would be very kind with these children. Probably one of the few who treat them as that: children.

[ohanny]

more of anny's pit babe season 2 plans that'll never come true

so before i go full delulu let's set up a basic premise of belief i have for season 2:

tony is dead-dead. we will see him but only in flashbacks or as a hallucination because lord knows he has fucked with our boys enough to do some ptsd ghost fuckery.

way is fake dead. he has the perfect power to make it believable and come on, what's one more fake death in this show? like he totally thought he would die but when he didn't, he was disappointed and thought a clean break would still be better for everyone and then, with nothing to lose, started a bit of a rampage but more on that later.

anyway. this would mean the second season needs a villain and while way will definitely be in that mix… we still need actual evil. now, if i was in charge, i would pick the prosecutor. even better if the prosecutor was a woman. because someone had to be in charge of handling the mess of tony’s deeds and the prison trio and oooh, a state prosecutor would be so tasty, because hear me out:

tony had his greedy, criminal fingers everywhere. he had to. he bribed and he did business - both regular crime and selling kids crime - with all kinds of people, including high up government officials. see our boy way would go on a shadowy mission to destroy and expose tony’s network, using his powers left and right to make people admit to their part in the atrocities. this would quickly become a huge problem to all those politicians, law enforcers and justice department members who were very happy to just sweep the entire mess under the carpet.

which is why the prosecutor, a bit corrupt herself, would use her power to get kenta, winner and dean out of prison on the condition they would hunt down way. they worked with him, right? considered him family? they know how he operates and not only are they expendable, but they're very willing to do her bidding for the price of freedom and clean records. (having their prosecutor show up in the prison yard would also explain those looks dundunduu.)

and this is where it would get spicy.

pete would have also been suspicious of way’s death from the start and after certain people connected to tony start ruining their own lives seemingly out of nowhere, he becomes convinced way is out there and starts looking.

the prosecutor tells the trio this is all about locating way and then the police would handle the rest but it becomes obvious - at least to kenta - not all of them got the same memo.

pete and the prosecutor having a tense, overly polite meeting where a handshake immediately sets pete on edge. he seeks out kenta afterwards, only to find out he doesn't need to convince his brother of anything because kenta looks at pete and says “she's plans to have winner kill way before he can talk.”

the prosecutor absolutely playing into babe’s trauma, creating a rift between some of the x-hunter members. imagine her holding his hands and looking him in the eye while softly confessing she believes way is doing all of this for babe, to win babe back, fueling his paranoia and ptsd and taking advantage of that vulnerability to manipulate him.

both charlie and kim smell a rat when they look at the prosecutor - charlie hates the way she speaks to babe and kim has a nose for this kind of thing. but since charlie is busy taking care of babe and keeping the hag away from him, kim volunteers to do the actual sniffing which would relate to my earlier season 2 hc about how kim ends up somewhat reluctantly teaming up with the prison trio and reporting to pete.

so the entire season two would be like a cat and mouse game between self-destructive, unhinged way, team lover boys and the corrupt claw of the law featuring babe’s fractured mental health, charlie’s guilt about causing it and if we want some added conflict between alan and jeff, well... i could see alan, busy trying to keep his family and the garage together, blindly trusting the law and jeff thinking he's being naive and feeling his concerns are being dismissed. and boom, you have all the drama and action you could hope for!

additional things i wouldn't mind seeing:

i know everyone raves about the northsonickim trifecta BUT jeff and north unexpectedly bonding as the two omegas. like jeff saving / stopping north from doing something stupid because north is shit wasted and heartbroken and all alone because sonic left and now kim’s ditched him as well. or have one of them go into a heat with the other being the only one present because everyone else is too busy playing detective or pretending there is no problem.

kim and pete sharing screen time. kim being cagey about pete’s powers and pete being curious about kim’s motives. the sexual tension of these two circling each other while discussing kenta!

winner and dean hate fucking and, once they're done, laying side by side, smoking and talking about their future. dean talks about getting ordained to pay for his sins. winner having a moment of guilt because dean still thinks he's doing the right thing here and this will help way.

jeff trying to seduce alan but alan falling asleep on him for the sheer comedic audacity.

that grave reunion being episode 10 aka the one before shit truly goes down. sonics back, it's a good day, but pete knows way is close by, winner is stalking the grave site with a gun, way is in the bushes...