#I mean it wasn’t as devastating as I thought it was going to be but OW OW OW | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stvolanis · 7 months

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Now i know you better

PAIRINGS: Alastor x Fem!Sinner!Reader

WARNINGS: ANGSTTTT, mean!Alastor, cheating w/ Lucifer, probably inaccurate time line idk, foul language,this is honestly kind of poorly written I’m sorry, manipulation, abuse, Alastor owns Readers soul, toxic relationship, possessive!Alastor, pet names, brief mention of suicide

NSFW WARNINGS: dubcon, slapping, hair pulling, choking, forced cream-pie, degradation, dacryphilia, p in v sex, knotting, humiliation, blood if you squint

SORRY IF I MISSED ANYTHING!!!

˚ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ˚

It wasn’t your fault that your grave was dug the moment you stepped foot into the fiery pits of hell.

It wasn’t your fault that it was dug by Mimzy when she introduced you to her dear friend, the Radio Demon who, oh so casually, casted peoples screams for hell to hear.

Mimzy, known to drag people into her messes when shit hits the fan, had deeply embedded you into an on-going war with one of the various overlords, simply by seeking a place to lay low for a few days. You didn’t expect Alastor to show up, that damned smile engraved onto his face.

And it most definitely wasn’t your fault that you laid in said grave.

He was charming, and charismatic. A lethal combination when a sense of confidence and dad-humor was thrown into the mix. The way you met wasn’t the most ideal, especially when he basically bombarded through you, inviting himself into your wrecked home to find Mimzy himself without a word.

His smile, then, seemed aggravated. He did little to hide the annoyance she had somehow caused him, and the way his voice grew in static when he spoke showed that. He was scary when you had watched his figure enlarge, his once normal, slim body now turning into a tall, beastly, and lanky figure with protruding antlers and dilated pupils.

Dread set into your core that day when he directed his wrath towards you. His tall frame stalking over you, a hand quickly shot to your throat. Your back hit against the wall as you were lifted from the ground, gasping for breaths of any air you could possibly get.

His breath was drug out and uneven as his chest moved up and down at a surprisingly slow pace. Even though he seemed to be filled of fury and unease—he had a sense of control over his calmness to an extent. Eerily, he had glided his mouth along your neck, inhaling your scent.

A harsh groan, almost as if he were in pain had slipped past his lips. It rumbled deep in his chest, and your eyes watered as your vision began to fade. Only then, did he release you and let your body fall to the floor. You held your throat gently as you finally got what you were begging for.

“Maybe you’ll listen, since sweet Mimzy won’t.” He began, his voice deep and contorted with static and brute. “You will fix the mess she created, and restore what was mine to begin with. Your soul will be mine until you have fulfilled your duty as said.” He finished.

Your mouth gaped. He had presented it to you like you had a choice in the devastating matter, but you knew better. You sobbed as your curled into a ball, and watched as he raised a hand towards your frame that wracked with sobs. “Hush now, girl. You will be under my care so long as I’ll have you.” He ushered with a grimace as he watched you wipe your nose with your wrist.

You longed to object. To scream and yell out that never in a million and one light years would you ever agree to such a thing. Your freedom was yours alone, and you liked to keep it that way. He’d have to drag you through hell and back for you to allow that to happen, yet as you took his sharp hand into yours, it was all said and done.

A bright light consumed you, and just for a moment, you thought maybe it was the light shower everyone talked about up in heaven. The bright beacon of a light so blinding that cleansed you of all your wrong-doings, took away all your pain and replaced the emptiness with a euphoric feeling of content.

Warmth spread throughout your body, and that moment of hope ended when you felt thick, heavy metal of chains cling around your throat and wrists. Alastors smile haunted you. It crept up on you in your dreams, and ate away at the only good things you had left to hold onto.

The life you once cherished, even in hell, soon faded away till it was nothing but a faint distant memory of someone you once knew that was yourself. It was replaced by an evil demon, in the form of a gentleman who disguised plots and alterier motives with wide smiles and laughs.

but again, you knew better.

The person you once were was stripped from you, and you were bare before him to bend and mold how he saw fit. And so, he did. You became his his underboss of sorts, a quiet and submissive being who did as told. They always said behind every powerful man, there was a woman. And it was you. Everyone got the good side of Alastor, yet it was you he took his frustrations out on when the day was said and done.

It was you who endured his aggressiveness when everyone was fast asleep in their bedrooms, dreaming of a better life you knew you’d never receive.

You were his lap dog, and his favorite toy to play with whenever and however he wanted to. It was unofficial, and confusing to others, but you somehow managed to find yourself in some sort of situationship with Alastor. You were his. body, mind, and soul.

You tried your best to please Alastor, constantly seeking his approval that he so generously bestowed upon others. You chased your tail around, and ran in laps, jumping through hoops just to earn a small nod in approval for him.

He wasn’t always bad. He cared for you, in his own fucked up way. He cared in way that he would never let something bad happen to you, and would protect you at all costs. You were his delicate little flower, how could he ever allow anyone who isn’t him to inflict any kind of harm onto you? He’s a bitch, but to an extent.

He loved you, yes, but only when he was in the mood to love you. When he loved you, he’d hold you close to him when you were perched on his lap in the hotel lounge. He’d whisper sweet nothings to you as he kissed along your neck, making giggles vibrate through your chest. He’d run his fingers through your hair till you fell asleep against him at night after a particularly hard day.

And on days when he knew he went to far, his classic water works he only had in store for you would come into play. He couldn’t bare his favorite toy hating him. He didn’t know how to deal with the colder shoulder and short-answer responses from you. It aggravated him that only you could get under his skin without doing much, so when you were heavily upset, only then would he drop down to his knees and kiss the inside of your thighs lovingly.

Tears would align his eyes, but his smile never once wavering, and beg for your forgiveness. He’d tell you how much he loved you as he rubbed your sensitive bud, and wash away your worries with so many orgasms, you forgot why you were mad at him in the first place.

Yes, he owned your soul and tended to be abusive, but he wasn’t heartless.

He’d tell you he’s sorry, and that he’d never hurt you again. It’s always a lie, and each time you allowed yourself to stupidly believe it.

But the truth was, you didn’t know what else to do. You hated to admit it, but you were nothing without him. You spent so long shaping yourself into the person he wanted and needed you to be, that you forgot how to be yourself. You forgot what your previous hobbies were, or what else made you happy besides him. Your world revolves around him, and without him, it felt like your world was coming to an exaggerated end.

So, you put up with it. Each and every time.

It wasn’t till today, the day of Charlie’s fathers arrival to the grand hotel Alastor managed to put together and run, that you’d ever seen him so genuinely with any sort of nerves.

The moment Lucifer walked in, in all his glory, Alastors personality took a flip. He went toe to toe with the ruler of Hell himself, all because he was afraid of someone who he knew had more power than him. But Alastor wasn’t a weak man, not at all, and that’s why he made it his mission to piss off Lucifer as much as he could.

You’d never seen him this way before. With you? Yes, but with other people? Never. He was cunning and every word he spat at Lucifer dripped with malice and confidence. Alastor knew he couldn’t beat him with power, so he hit him where he knew it would hurt. His family. Specifically, the only one he had left.

What Alastor didn’t expect, was for Lucifer to become completely and utterly smitten with you. From the moment he laid his eyes on you, he’s been all smiles and giggles with you.

He listened when you talked, even the little small words or sentences no one cared to listen to. His lips against the top part of your hand when you first met was the only thing that circled your mind for days. His lips were plush and warm, soft and tender. It was a contrast to the kisses Alastor left you of pity and forgiveness.

He was sweet, and undeniably handsome. He made you feel ways you’d never felt before. He made you feel like you had a choice. A voice that wouldn’t be spoken over and genuinely listened to. He was charismatic, in a way like Alastor, but it was real. His smiles were real, as were the sweet nothings he said to you.

For weeks, you snuck around with Lucifer. At night, when Alastor was fast asleep, you’d sneak out from under his watchful arm and find your way to Lucifers room. His arms were more welcoming, and warm. His kisses sweeter than honey and his love as gold and bright as they come.

His voice was soft, and vibrant as he hummed against your ear. The fingers that raked through your hair were gentle and soothing, calmed you to your slumbers that comforted you through the night. His smell was intoxicating; cider and musk, like an orchid full of ripe apples. The two rosey spots on his cheek shined in hue when you’d enter the room.

I didn’t take long for Alastor to notice. He want a dumb and oblivious man. He was a ruthless overlord who couldn’t afford to look past the little things. He noticed the stares that the two of you sent when in a room full of people. The lingering touches no one else noticed when you brushed passed each other.

And most of all, they way you’d slip from his grasp in the dark of the night like he was stupid.

He knew, of course. He knew the whole time. And he let you let yourself believe that there was any other choice besides him. He allowed you, from the goodness of his heart, to feel a speck of the freedom you longed for. He let you grasp it and cradle it with all your might, just to draw you back in by the chains that shackled you to him for eternity.

He liked knowing that he controlled you. It fueled the god complex he had, knowing that no matter what you tried to do, you’d always be his. His to love, his to fuck, his to torment.

He mocked you for it, too. Rubbing it in your face that you were chained to him for as long as you’d live in hell. Suicide crossed your mind a few times, the only way you saw yourself out of it—yet, you knew that no matter what life you had next, you’d still always belong to him in some way, shape, or form.

You should’ve known better. Should’ve known that you could never be happy. Should’ve known that Alastor knew the whole time. Yet you were naive enough to think you were smart enough to go behind his back with a person he detested the most. The one person who could easily kill him with a blink of an eye.

Alastor would never say it out loud, because he knew deep down that he would never win against Lucifer. So, he did what he does best, and he took it out on you.

Tonight wasn’t supposed to be any different from any of the other nights you left Alastors bedroom.

You lay in another man’s arms, his chest rising and falling beneath you as soft breaths slipped past his pale lips. Lucifer looked especially beautiful like this. His white skin glistening in the dull lighting of the room, and his streaky blonde hair ran through messily against the plush pillow.

You wished you could stay in this very moment forever. You’d rather spend an eternity admiring Lucifer for all his greatness, than suffering in Alastors darkness miserably.

You never told Lucifer about the way Alastor treated you behind closed doors. You knew that if you did, Alastor would be dead without a second thought. It crossed your mind a few times, obviously. How could it not? It was your only way out. The only thing that stopped you was the fact that Alastor wasn’t always like this.

He wasn’t always a bad person towards you. In the beginning, he tried to make you as comfortable as possible. He made you happy, and lively. His presence didn’t make you want to cower away in a corner, and his stare made you flush red, as bright as the color of his hair.

After all he’s put you through, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt shoot through you each time you looked back at Alastor asleep in your shared bed. He never cheated on you. The one of many things he’s never done, yet here you were, every so happily cheating on him. You felt like a two-timing snake, and you knew if he found out that he’d feel betrayed.

With that thought, you slipped from under Lucifer’s heavy arm, watching with soft eyes as he muttered under his breath at the loss of your warmth against him. You kissed his cheek and whispered a goodbye as you exited his room, softly shutting the door behind you. Your finger glided along the walls of the hallway, all the way till you found yourself outside of Alastors room.

You inhaled deeply, reaching for the doorknob, twisting it ever so slowly. Your entered the dark abyss of the room, shutting the door softly behind you with a wince as it creaked lightly. Damned this old ass building.

What you didn’t expect, was for Alastor to press against you from behind.

His breathing was uneven, and sharp as his chest still moved up and down slowly. You froze. You felt your dead heart stop as if you were alive. It seemed like oxygen didn’t exist anymore as you gaped, jaw slightly fallen slack as your eyes lined with tears. Your body shook as his hand traveled to the bed of your throat, craning your neck back to meet his eyes painfully.

“A-Alastor—” you gaped. He clicked his tongue. “Hm, silly girl. You really thought I was unaware of your whore-ish activities?” He chuckled out, his breath warm against the shell of your ear. “Wait, please—” you began, but you didn’t get a chance to think of what to say next as he slammed your back onto the bed.

You tried desperately to crawl away from him, but within a second, chains tied you down to the bed frame. You wracked with sobs and please of despair. He stood silently for a moment, watching the way you crumbled so easily without him even having to really do anything.

“How dare you.” He hissed out after a moment. Climbing on top of your tense frame, he pinched your cheeks together and watched as tears ran down your cheeks pathetically. “I give you everything you could possibly need. I make sure you’re alive with a roof over your head and out of the clutches of hells streets, and this is how you repay me? By sleeping around with men?” He growled through his sharp teeth.

His smile was formed still, but more into a scowl of displeasure. His antlers were grown and prominent as he began to shift to his demon form that you hadn’t seen since the first time youd met him that fateful day. He was like a rabid animal, drool slipping through the cracks of his jagged teeth as his body became large and monstrous.

This was it. This how your soul would finally be put to rest. By the claws and bared teeth of a monster with the facade of a charming, hotel manager. Not the way you’d want to go out, but hey, at least your were gonna get out of it, right?

Or so you thought.

His claws, sharp as knives tore through your shirt, ripping it off of your figure and discarded onto the floor. Your white lace bra on display in front of him. Your pajama pants adorned with cheesy pandas torn to shreds alongside your favorite sleeping shirt. But all you could think about was the abnormally large bulge hard and prominent against your inner thigh.

God, you hated yourself. You danced along the line of lust, fear, and hatred. Hatred for him, mostly. You hated that you loved Lucifer—yet your body yearned to be used and played with at the hands of Alastor.

The sweet sex, praises and butterfly kisses Lucifer showered you was amazing, but this—this was different. The way Alastor fucked you was different. Yes, he was rough and fucked hard—but this was his way of showing you that he loved you. It was peculiar, to say the least. A man so easily able to use his words to fluster anyone couldn’t look you in the eye to tell you that he loved you.

So he fucked you like he hated you. But you knew what he meant.

His finger hooked under the middle of your bra, effectively slicing upwards to cut it in half. Your breasts sprang free, and your nipples hardened under the tense, cold air. You squirmed as his breath fanned against them, his long tongue shooting out to lick against them tenderly.

He played tricks on you. It was his favorite game. Giving you false hope. Dangling things he knew you longed for in front of you, only to yank it right back. Killing every last good thing you had left till you had absolutely nothing but him.

So you should’ve known better than to trust his soft tongue kitten licking your nipple. His sharp teeth bit down—hard enough to draw specks of blood around it. You yelped out in pain as your eyes lined with fresh tears waiting to be spilled over. The pain was dreadful, but god, did it feel good.

Alastors thumb trailed to lower, tracing down to your stomach till he reached your cotton panties, dampened with your arousal. “What a slut. Getting off on this. You should be ashamed of yourself, darling.” He mocked out with a cunning smile. He didn’t think twice before ripping your panties off.

He fumbled for second with his pants, unzipping them before letting them reach low enough just to pull his cock out. “Now, I’m gonna fuck this cunt till I’ve had enough, and after that, you’re going to go into the small-dicked-duck fanatics room with my cum dripping down your thighs and tell him just how good I fucked you.” He growled out, his hand finding it’s way back to your throat, squeezing tightly as he lined himself to your entrance.

“Alastor, please just listen—i” his cock bullied is way into you. Long, and thick. 9 inches of pure, heavy meat sat snugly inside of you, playing with your insides. He was perfectly trimmed, and his balls heavy balls slapped against the underside of your pussy with each agonizingly perfect thrust he delivered into you.

“Oh, oh fuck!” You moaned out, head thrown back as your hand clenched onto the chains that bound you to your bed post. “Tight little pussy. Tell me, does he fuck you like this, baby?” He panted out as he watched the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

He always thought you were the prettiest like this. Underneath him, writhing in pleasure, cock drunk and hungry for him. The only time you didn’t resent him. The only time you wanted him. He cherished this, not that he would ever say it out loud.

“I asked you a fucking question.” He said, slapping the side of your face harshly, leaving a painful sting behind. You whimpered at the familiar impact. “No, Alastor!” You all but screamed out as his cock kissed your cervix.

The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed loudly, and the smell of hot sex was in the air. A distinctive, vile smell. Your body was lined with sweat, as was his, and your breasts bounced each time his hips met flush against your ass. All you could think about was him.

He consumed your thoughts, plaguing your mind. You couldn’t escape him. And as of right now, you weren’t sure you even really wanted to all along.

Some sick part of you enjoyed this relationship you were in. The part that liked to be put in your place, and told what to do in return for praises of affirmations. A relationship that never got boring, and always kept you on your toes no matter what. Traumatic? Definitely. Toxic? 100%. But, this is what you had to endure. The least you could to was learn to like and deal with it.

You clenched down tightly onto him as his hips slammed into yours repeatedly, his dick hitting every right spot, including the little nerve of your g-spot inside of you. The angle he had your hips positioned in hit it better, and he could tell you were close when your cunt began to pulse around him.

“Please, please, I’m gonna cum!” You babbled on and on, drunk on the feeling of him inside of you. He chuckled as he pulled your head up by the root of your hair, just enough to have your lips crashing down onto his. “Fucked you stupid, honey, i know.” He cooed out against your lips.

He tasted bitter. Like whiskey and old cigars, mixed with a strange tea refreshment. It was an odd combination, but one that suited him indefinitely. His tongue swirled and glided against yours as they fought for dominance in a sloppy, and surprisingly passionate kiss. One that said what he didn’t have to out loud. ‘You’re mine’. He won the fight for dominance, and he sloppily suckled your tongue into his mouth.

The kiss was nasty, sloppy with saliva dripping down your chin and a few cuts on your lip from his sharp teeth clashing against them, but it was the least of your concerns as he rested his forehead against yours, nearing his end.

“I’m gonna fill this pussy up. Nice and full so everyone will know in dues time just who the fuck you belong to.” He growled out through clenched teeth. You shook your head back and forth, your eyes widening with fear. “No, don’t! Please don’t!” You begged, on and on, but to no avail.

His thrusts became harsher, and more demanding. Chasing his high aimlessly as you begged and moaned out his name underneath him. It was then that you felt it. His cock balls deep when you felt it began to swell up inside of you.

You gasped in shock as you were stretched painfully to your limit, the bulge in your lower stomach large and prominent as he pressed against it, triggering your orgasm. Your juices flushed out of you and all over his lower abdomen, and he groaned at the sight. You clenched down onto him impossibly tighter and he felt like he was gonna lose his mind.

“Pull out. Please pull out.” You desperately tried to reason with him, but he didn’t care as he sat snug inside of you, his knot finally emptying inside of you. It was warm, and you could feel it drip down your ass when his cock finally fell flaccid and limp, slowly pulling out of you.

“Maybe now, you’ll learn your lesson. You must be a fool to think that anyone could ever love you like i do.” He said, shaking his head. He bit his lip with a satisfied smile as he watched his mounds of cum pour out of you. “Milked my cock so well.” Was the only praise that slipped past his lips the rest of the night.

He didn’t allow you to clean yourself, only letting you thrown on a pair of panties from the drawer in his bedroom. Your inner thighs were slick and sticky with his warm, salty cum. “Run along now, dear. Come back when you’re finished.” He said in a singing tone, knowingly.

A flame rose in your core of embarrassment as you waddled out of the room, the uncomfortable feeling between your thighs growing by the second. It was humiliating, doing the walk of shame down the hallway, all the way to your now past lovers room.

A soft knock was laid on his door, and after a silent, dreaded minute of standing there, his door fell open. There you stood, in nothing but panties. Bite marks around your nipples and your neck prominent with a lingering bruise from the grip he held on your neck. His eyes trailed down to the cum slick between your plush thighs.

His eyes widened.

“The fuck happened to you?”

˚ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ˚

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seafarersdream · 1 month

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Kiss, Marry, Kill? (Tom Glynn-Carney x Y/N)

It’s just a harmless game right? But who knows where it could lead to.

TW // Strong language and profanities.

The cast of House of the Dragon was in the midst of their whirlwind promotional tour, and today was no different—yet somehow, the stakes felt higher. Maybe it was the lights, the throng of people, or perhaps the sense of anticipation as they took their places on the plush, velvet couches. Tom Glynn-Carney slouched back, legs spread wide, his usual confident smirk playing on his lips as Ewan Mitchell settled beside him, more reserved but with an unmistakable twinkle in his eye.

The interviewer, a seasoned pro, knew how to work the room. She had them loosened up within minutes, firing off the usual questions about the upcoming second season. But then, with a mischievous glint, she leaned forward, practically rubbing her hands together in glee as she announced, “Alright, lads, let’s play a quick game of Kiss, Marry, Kill.”

Tom’s brows shot up, intrigued. He was game for anything. Ewan, seated to his right, nudged him with an elbow, a quiet laugh escaping his lips as the interviewer continued.

“I’m going to give you three names,” the interviewer said. “And you have to decide who you’d kiss, marry, or kill. Simple as that.”

Tom cocked his head, his smirk widening into a grin. “Go on then, hit us with it.”

The interviewer paused dramatically, milking the moment. “First up: Y/N L/N.”

Tom’s grin faltered for just a second, and then it came back, but this time there was a hint of something else in his eyes—something far less cocky and far more sincere. He could feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck. Y/N wasn’t just a name to him. She was a fucking icon, an absolute goddess on screen and off. He’d been following her career for years, from her stellar performance in Succession to her recent, jaw-dropping role alongside Cillian Murphy in Oppenheimer. And damn it if he didn’t have the biggest crush on her—a full-blown, no-holds-barred crush.

Ewan noticed the shift in Tom’s expression and snickered, leaning closer. “Oh, she’s got you good,” he muttered under his breath, loud enough for Tom to hear.

“Come on, mate, don’t be shy now,” the interviewer urged, eyes dancing with mirth.

Tom leaned back, pretending to mull it over, but he already knew his answer. He always did when it came to her. “Alright,” he drawled, dragging the word out, “Y/N L/N, you say?”

Ewan was practically vibrating with laughter beside him, and Tom shot him an exasperated look. “I’d kiss the hell out of her, that’s for damn sure,” he said, his voice low, almost reverent. “And, honestly, fuck the game—I’d marry her too. I mean, have you seen her? She’s fucking brilliant.”

The room erupted in laughter, the interviewer included, but Tom wasn’t done. “As for kill,” he continued, a wicked grin stretching across his face, “I’d kill anyone who tries to get in my way.”

Ewan clapped a hand to his chest, feigning injury. “I’m wounded, Tom, absolutely devastated,” he said, playing up the dramatics. “I’m not even in the running, and I feel like you’ve killed me already.”

Tom just shook his head, a playful snort escaping him. “Sorry, mate, but Y/N’s got me all tied up in knots. Can’t be helped.”

“Christ, you’re smitten,” Ewan teased, leaning back with a grin of his own. “She’s going to see this, you know. You’re basically handing her all the power.”

Tom’s eyes darkened slightly, the playful bravado giving way to something more intense. “Good,” he said, voice rougher now, more serious. “She deserves all the power. She’s earned it. And if she ever wants to cash in on it, I’m here. Hell, I’d be on my fucking knees if she asked.”

The room went silent for a beat, the weight of his words hanging in the air. It wasn’t just a schoolboy crush. It was full-on, can’t-get-her-out-of-his-head, utterly besotted admiration.

Ewan broke the silence with a low whistle, shaking his head in disbelief. “And here I thought this was just going to be a bit of fun. You’ve gone and made it deep, Tom.”

Tom shrugged, unapologetic. “Can’t help it. She’s fucking perfect.”

The interview wrapped up soon after, but the mood had shifted. Tom had bared more of himself than he intended, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. If Y/N ever saw this—and he hoped like hell she would—he’d own every word.

As they left the set, Ewan threw an arm around Tom’s shoulders, still laughing. “You’re in deep, mate. Good luck with that.”

Tom just grinned, eyes distant, already thinking about Y/N. “Yeah,” he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else. “Good luck, indeed.”

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Le Grand Rex in Paris was ablaze with lights, the red carpet a river of scarlet against the darkened streets. The premiere of Oppenheimer had drawn a star-studded crowd, but even among the brightest, Y/N L/N stood out like a rare gem. Draped in a sleek, custom-made gown that hugged her curves in all the right places, she moved with the confidence of someone who knew exactly who she was and the power she held.

As she made her way up and down the carpet, cameras flashed, fans screamed her name. Y/N was in her element, all smiles and waves, pausing to sign autographs and take selfies with fans. The night had been a blur of interviews, compliments, and chatter, but there was still an infectious energy about her that refused to wane.

Then, as she paused to speak with yet another member of the press, a journalist—a wiry man with glasses perched on the edge of his nose—grinned conspiratorially. “Y/N, have you seen the clip of Tom Glynn-Carney from the House of the Dragon interview?”

She blinked, caught off guard. “Tom? No, I haven't had a chance to catch up on much lately. It’s been nonstop.”

The journalist’s grin widened, sensing an opportunity. “You really should. Someone in the crowd can show you. It’s—well, it’s something.”

Intrigued, Y/N glanced over at the crowd, where several fans were already excitedly pulling up the clip on their phones. She motioned for one of them to come closer, leaning in as the screen was thrust towards her. The surrounding crowd hushed, everyone eager to see her reaction.

As the clip played, Tom’s voice filled the air, his brash, unapologetic confession spilling out as he talked about her. Y/N’s eyes widened slightly, then narrowed in amusement as Tom proclaimed his undying crush, his wish to kiss and marry her, and the sheer intensity of his words.

Her reaction was immediate and unfiltered—a laugh, rich and full of genuine delight, bubbled up from her throat. She wasn’t one to shy away from a little flirtation, especially when it was as earnest as Tom’s had been. As the clip ended, she looked up, her smile broadening into something that was part teasing, part genuinely flattered.

The crowd around her erupted into cheers, phones held high to capture every moment. Y/N wasn’t done, though. She knew exactly how to play this game, and she had no intention of letting Tom’s boldness go unchallenged.

She placed a hand on her hip, adopting a mock-serious expression as she addressed the cameras. “Glynn-Carney, if you’re watching this—and I hope you are—why don’t you go ahead and hit me up? Let’s see if you can live up to all that big talk.”

Her playful tone sent the crowd into a frenzy, laughter and cheers echoing down the carpet.

The journalist, sensing there was more to be mined from this moment, leaned in with a sly grin. “Y/N,” he began, “I have to ask—House of the Dragon is all about the Targaryen civil war, right? Team Black versus Team Green. Where do you stand?”

Y/N didn’t hesitate, her eyes lighting up. “Oh, I’m Team Black all the way,” she declared, her voice ringing with certainty. “Rhaenyra’s got that fire. I mean, who wouldn’t want to ride a dragon into battle and claim what’s rightfully yours?”

The crowd roared their approval. Y/N soaked it in, but she wasn’t done yet. She shot a playful, almost daring look at the camera, the one she knew would find its way to Tom eventually.

“But…” she continued, drawing out the word as she placed a finger thoughtfully against her lips, her expression turning wickedly amused. “Maybe Tom could do something to sway me to the Greens. I mean, he did say he’d marry me, right? That’s a pretty tempting offer.”

The crowd erupted once more, and Y/N couldn’t resist pushing it further. She leaned in, pretending to whisper into the camera but making sure everyone could hear.

“Here’s the thing, Tom,” she said, “I’m a tough sell. But you never know, I might just let you win me over. You’ve got your work cut out for you, though—dragons, crowns, and maybe a little more of that sweet-talking from you.”

She straightened up, giving the camera a wink and a dazzling smile. “But I’ll tell you what—if you can make me switch sides, I’ll wear green just for you.”

The crowd went wild, and Y/N laughed, clearly enjoying the chaos she’d just unleashed. She waved to the fans as she turned to continue down the red carpet. The internet was going to explode with this, she knew it.

As she moved on, continuing her walk down the red carpet, her mind briefly wandered to Tom. He was probably watching this somewhere, maybe even laughing as she was now. She couldn’t help but think that if their paths crossed—and she was sure they would—things might get very interesting.

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The next morning at the set was unlike any other. The usual pre-shoot routines were thrown into chaos as cast and crew buzzed with excitement, their energy crackling through the air like wildfire. It wasn’t just any morning; it was the morning after Y/N L/N’s premiere clip had blown up the internet.

Tom stepped onto the set, still bleary-eyed from a lack of sleep—who could sleep after a night like that?—but the moment he saw his co-stars’ faces, he knew he was in for it. The teasing began before he even had a chance to grab a cup of coffee.

“Oi, Tom!” Emma D’Arcy called out, their voice dripping with mock-seriousness as they waved their phone in the air. “Got any plans to defect to Team Black? I hear Y/N might be open to negotiations.”

Tom felt his face flush, but he couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. “Fuck off, Emma,” he shot back, but there was no venom in his words. He was too giddy to be anything but amused.

Rhys Ifans leaned in right next to him. “Tom, I reckon it’s time you took this to the next level. Send her something, maybe—oh, I don’t know—a bouquet of green roses? Subtle, yet effective.”

Fabien Frankel clapped Tom on the back, his grin as wide as anyone’s. “Honestly, mate, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. The internet’s gone feral, and it’s all because of you two.”

Tom could barely keep up with the barrage of comments. He was trying to play it cool, but inside he was practically vibrating with excitement. It was surreal—no, it was fucking unbelievable that Y/N had not only seen the clip but had played along so brilliantly. And now everyone knew about it. The entire set was alive with it.

Phia Saban sauntered over, raising an eyebrow at Tom. “You know, Tom, this could be your chance.”

Ewan Mitchell, who had been laughing since Tom walked in, finally decided to join the fray. “I told you, didn’t I? You went and made it deep, and now look where it’s gotten you—straight to the top of her radar. You’ve got the whole world watching now, mate. What’s your next move?”

Tom ran a hand through his hair, trying to process everything. He still couldn’t quite believe it—Y/N L/N, the Y/N L/N, had flirted back on camera, in front of the entire world. He felt feral, like a wild animal caught between disbelief and pure, unadulterated joy.

He let out a loud laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “Next move? Christ, I don’t even know. How do you top that? Maybe I should just show up to her next premiere with a bloody dragon.”

Emma patted him on the shoulder, their grin wicked. “That’s the spirit, Tom. But seriously, you’ve got to strike while the iron’s hot. The fans are already shipping you two.”

Just when Tom thought the teasing couldn’t get any worse, Matt Smith strode onto the set, coffee in hand and an amused smirk already playing on his lips. The moment he saw Tom surrounded by the cast, all of them still buzzing from the morning’s revelations, Matt knew something was up.

“What’s all this then?” Matt asked. “Looks like I’ve missed quite the party.”

Olivia Cooke, always quick to catch Matt up, beamed at him. “Oh, you’re going to love this. Tom’s little schoolboy crush on Y/N L/N just went global, and she’s dared him to do something to win her over.”

Matt’s eyebrows shot up, and then he laughed—a loud, unabashed sound that filled the entire set. “You’ve got to be shitting me! Y/N L/N? As in, the Y/N L/N? Tom, you poor bastard.”

Tom groaned, running a hand down his face, but there was no hiding the grin that threatened to break through. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Matt. This is my life now.”

Matt shook his head, still chuckling. “I can’t believe it. I’ve worked with Y/N before, back when she did that one season on The Crown. She’s a bloody force of nature, mate. All or nothing with her. If she’s daring you, it means she’s already intrigued. But you better be ready to deliver, because Y/N doesn’t do things halfway.”

Ewan leaned in, eyes glinting with mischief. “Matt, you’ve got to tell him—what’s she like when she’s got her sights set on something?”

Matt set his coffee down, crossing his arms as he considered Tom with a gleam in his eye. “Let me tell you something, Tom. Y/N is the kind of person who, when she decides to go after something, she doesn’t just dip her toes in the water. She dives headfirst, no second thoughts, no holding back. And she expects the same in return. If you’re thinking about going after her, you better be ready to put everything on the line.”

Tom could feel his heart pounding, not from fear, but from the thrill of the challenge. “Fuck,” he muttered, grinning despite himself. “Sounds like I’m in for one hell of a ride.”

Matt clapped him on the back, his grin as wide as ever. “That’s the spirit, Tom. Just remember—don’t half-ass it. Y/N doesn’t play games unless they’re the high-stakes kind. But if you go all in, who knows? You might just come out on top.”

Fabien, who had been listening intently, couldn’t help but chime in. “Honestly, Tom, the whole world saw that clip. If you don’t do something epic now, you’ll never hear the end of it.”

Tom nodded, feeling a surge of determination. “You’re right. I can’t just let this slide. I’ve got to do something that’ll knock her off her feet.”

Matt grinned knowingly. “Good lad. And remember, she might be all or nothing, but if you go for it—really go for it—you’ll have her respect, if not more.”

As the cast began to prepare for the day’s shoot, the energy on set remained electric. Tom felt like he was on the cusp of something huge, something that could either be the best or the most terrifying thing he’d ever done. But one thing was for sure: he wasn’t about to back down.

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As the day’s shooting wound down and the cast began to peel away, heading back to their trailers or the waiting cars that would whisk them off to their respective lives, Tom found himself in a bit of a daze. The entire day had been a rollercoaster of teasing, planning, and more than a little anxiety as he contemplated what his next move with Y/N might be.

He was leaning against the side of the set, sipping on a bottle of water, when Matt walked over, still wearing that trademark smirk of his. Tom looked up, sensing that something was coming, and he wasn’t sure if he should be excited or terrified.

“So, Tom,” Matt began, his voice casual but with a hint of something mischievous beneath it, “I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s never a good sign,” Tom shot back, but his grin didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was still buzzing with nerves.

Matt laughed, shaking his head. “You’re going to love this, mate. Turns out, I’ve got plans this weekend to meet up with Y/N at a pub. Just a low-key thing, some friends catching up, you know?”

Tom’s heart skipped a beat. “With Y/N?” he repeated, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. “You’re meeting Y/N this weekend?”

“Yeah,” Matt confirmed, his grin widening. “And I was thinking, why not bring you along? You know, give you a chance to show her just how charming you can be in person. It’s the perfect opportunity, Tom. No cameras, no pressure—just you, me, and Y/N with a few pints.”

Tom’s heart pounded so hard he could feel it in his throat. The idea of seeing Y/N in person, outside of the spotlight, was exhilarating. But at the same time, the thought of it made his stomach twist with nerves. What if he fucked it up? What if he got there and couldn’t string two words together?

“I don’t know, Matt…” Tom began, trying to find a way to express his uncertainty without sounding like a complete wuss. “I mean, what if it’s weird? What if she doesn’t even want me there?”

Before Matt could respond, Ewan, who had apparently been eavesdropping (and who was never one to let a good opportunity for chaos pass by), sidled up next to them. “What’s this?” he asked, his voice dripping with mock concern. “Tom getting cold feet? I never thought I’d see the day.”

Fabien, who had joined them as well, crossed his arms and gave Tom an exaggerated look of disappointment. “You’re not seriously backing out, are you? Come on, Tom. You’ve been handed the perfect setup, and now you’re going to chicken out?”

Tom opened his mouth to protest, but Matt cut him off, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, Tom, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Y/N’s cool as hell, and trust me—if she didn’t want you there, she wouldn’t have thrown down the gauntlet like she did. She’s daring you to show up, mate. You can’t just ignore that.”

Ewan’s eyes narrowed playfully. “And let’s be real, if you don’t show up, you’ll regret it. For the rest of your life, you’ll be that bloke who had a chance with Y/N L/N and didn’t take it.”

Fabien nodded, his expression turning serious. “This is your moment, Tom. Don’t overthink it. Just show up, be yourself, and let things happen. Besides, Matt’s got your back. You’re in good hands.”

Tom looked between the three of them, feeling the pressure from all sides. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go—he did, more than anything—but the idea of sitting across from Y/N, trying to impress her without making a fool of himself, was daunting as hell.

Matt, sensing Tom’s hesitation, gave him a reassuring smile. “Look, Tom, I get it. But trust me on this. Y/N’s not just some untouchable A-lister—she’s a person, same as you. And she’s already interested, or she wouldn’t have flirted back the way she did. Just show up, be yourself, and have a laugh. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Tom swallowed hard, nodding slowly. “You’re right. Fuck it, I’ll do it. I’ll come.”

Ewan let out a whoop of approval, slapping Tom on the back. “That’s the spirit! And hey, if things get awkward, just remember—Fabien and I will be waiting here to take the piss out of you when you get back.”

Fabien grinned. “And don’t forget, Tom, you’ve got a job to do. Make sure you convince her to change her allegiance to the Greens.”

Tom rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Right, because that’s what this is all about—winning her over to Team Green. Piece of cake, right?”

Matt chimed in with a snort. “Like hell.”

Tom steeled himself. “If I come back empty-handed, you lot better be ready to deal with the aftermath.”

Ewan clapped him on the shoulder again, his grin widening. “Don’t worry, Tom. Whatever happens, we’ve got your back. Just go in there and be yourself. The rest will take care of itself.”

And as Matt sauntered off with a final salute, Tom couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, he had a shot at making Y/N see the appeal of the Greens—whether that was Aegon’s colors or something else entirely.

#tom glynn carney #tom glynn carney x reader #tom glynn carney imagine #tom glynn carney one shot #hotd fandom #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd #hotd s2 #hotd season 2 #tom glynn-carney

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zer0wzs · 1 month

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"𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙤"

[ gn!reader ] jason todd does not know how greatly positive the impact of owning a dog is wc: 1232

AN: i whipped this up just randomly my apologies if its kinda just . eh??? i still like it to some extent and oh!! this is my first jason pov fic

“That’s Milo, I’m guessing?” Jason mused.

“Yeah! Isn’t he the cutest?” You grin, pointing at the four-month-old beagle. It’s Jason’s first time meeting the dog. He’s only known him through pictures so far, but you’ve only had him for a few days anyway. “Gosh, he’s the absolute cutest.”

Like a slightly dismissive father, Jason wasn’t too keen on the idea of getting a pet. Rent is high enough as it is, even in terms of Gotham’s cost of living, and as wonderful as the idea is, it would only dent his schedule.

You, however, go against his views (Not that he ever forced it on you) and adopt a rescue puppy from a nearby shelter.

“I don’t know. You might like the dog more than me.” He joked.

He’s still on the fence about this. Though you live on the more well-off side of the city, the neighborhoods here still aren’t the safest place to walk dogs. He’d hate to see you devastated if the dog got hurt.

“Aww,” you pout, giggling as you walk up to him and pinch his cheek—Milo cuddled in one arm. He’s perplexed, for sure, but he doesn’t reject this affection at all. Hell, he likes it for sure. “My pretty Jay is jealous.”

He scoffs, not knowing how to reply. His snarkiness is wiped. How embarrassing. He felt his cheeks flushing and eyebrows cinching. God, this was embarrassing. You’re kind of embarrassing. He wants it no other way, though. “No, I’m not? I did not say anything like—”

“It’s okaaaay,” you hum, swaying on your feet as you put Milo back on the floor. You pull his cheeks and sway each other back and forth. “You’ll always be my number one.”

He feels a kiss on his cheek, and his body pulls him back to look at it. It has its own mind that is disposed of you at this point.

The faint smell of your citrus shampoo is less notable. It’s been slowly replaced by the eternal fuzzy dog smell Milo, like any other dog, holds. He doesn’t hate it. Although he loves your usual scent, this is nice too.

“What do you think?” You ask, breaking the silence one more. He sees the way your shoulders freeze a little and the way your eyebrows worriedly pull up. “Do you think he’s cute, or—”

“I think Milo is very lively. Very energetic. I like him.” Jason assures you with a hand holding your face, thumb caressing the cheek. “I’m just worried that it would take a toll on—”

“I know, I know,” you sigh. “I got this, though! You know how long I’ve been preparing for this.”

And he does. He’s seen you do the research. He’s seen you visit the shelter multiple times. He’s seen you saving up the money for the puppy—including food, vaccines, medicine, toys, and whatever things you fear the dog may need. He’s seen it all, and he questions why he’s even doubting you.

You’re smart. You’re strong. He comes to the conclusion, though, that he still holds the position to worry. He believes in it. At the end of the day, your safety and comfort is his responsibility.

You two are walking Milo—or, rather, you are; Jason’s just more than happy to accompany you.

He declines your many offers to hold his leash. He fears losing something that means so much to you or hurting him with a simple tug because of his sheer strength. He’s calculated, sure, but he’s not cut for this simple life. He knows roughly how much it would take him to bring down a squad of armed men, but he does not know when a batter is over or undermixed.

You don’t know that, though. It’ll stay that way, he thinks.

“I think this is it.” Your voice snaps Jason out of his thoughts. He looks at you and sees that you’re radiating, no, buzzing in excitement when you spot the sign that says, ‘dog park. “Here, Milo!”

You step inside the fenced area, and the puppy is more than eager to explore the new territory. Unclasping the leash from his collar, you give him a kiss on his snout before he runs to the pack of dogs—some big, some small.

He sees your caution that borders on uneasiness, watching if the dogs are friendly to him or not.

“He’s adorable,” he says to break the tension, watching him play with his friends.

The worry on your face is lessened as you look at him. “Well, they do say that pets look like their owners.”

“Mmm, I see it,” he hums, pulling you closer by the chin and giving you a peck on the lips.

“You really think so?” You bury yourself to his side. Your skin is an awful lot colder than his. He supposes, though, that it's just his body. That it simply overheats.

“Mhm.” He nods, pulling you impossibly closer to him with your head tucked right under his chin.

“Aw, thank you.” The two of you stand like that for a few minutes.

Jason thinks it's sweet. He feels a foreign tenderness that’s only known to you. He’s learned to like it.

This feeling brings him close enough for him to imagine a family with you. The two of you are parents, and Milo is a son—your son.

Too soon? His eye twitches as he sweeps the dream under the rug.

“Jay, look!” You grinned, pointing to Milo and some other dogs.

He’s surrounded by a pack of dogs, but they are clearly far from fighting. He definitely is an outgoing pet, something he probably got from you—or would get if-, yeah.

“I’m glad he’s getting along well. For a second, I was worried that the dogs would be hostile towards him.”

“I don’t any man or dog could be angry at him. He’s too cute to be mad at.”

You nod, resting your head on his shoulder. “I totally agree.”

Jason is sitting by your kitchen island figuring out a jigsaw puzzle you got him when he hears you giggle uncontrollably.

“Milo, Miiiilooo,” You cooed, cuddling the puppy closer and closer to your face. He licks your face, teeth faintly grazing the tip of your nose. You’re only giddy about it. “I love you.”

It’s right then and there, after that interaction, where everything clicks: Jason realizes he does not want, or rather cannot, be with anyone else.

Ever so gentle and ever so kind, you are. It only shines through with how much heart you can and do pour into this puppy. No matter how many shoes he tears through, the rolls of tissues he makes a mess out of, and the times he’s chewed through your hair, it seems that your love is always bountiful and dedicated.

He realized how shallow this sounds. Maybe it’s just the way he was raised. To be grateful for any semblance of gift you had.

“Darling,” he calls out.

“Yes?” You answer, lying on the floor while petting Milo.

“I love you.”

Jason thinks that he wants to be more than welcoming to the small creature. Getting a dog might be a good idea.

Certainly, you seem confused, and he’s almost scared that you’ll reject it. He knows that that won’t be the case (or, at least, he listens to you tell him that).

“I love you too, Jay-love,” you smile.

#zero's writing °｡⋆⸜ ✮#jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you

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jenscx · 2 months

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LUCID DREAM — ning yizhuo

it’s been years without ning yizhuo in your life. it feels surreal; the day you walked out without an explanation. but just the thought of being able to see her again, it draws you back into the endless loop of loving her.

TAGS — angst, exes to ???, insecurity, model!ning, ambiguous ending, mentions of alcohol, making up, jmj wedding (we don’t actually get to witness it tho)

WORDCOUNT — 7.4k

you stare at the wedding invitation, written neatly at the top, the invitation is addressed to a ning y/n. you want to cry. the invitation clearly stating your ex’s name makes your heart clench uncomfortably. it’s a blaring reminder that your relationship ended and you’re no longer living in your childhood fantasy.

“fuck,” you swear, “fuck you, kim minjeong.” you want to murder minjeong, but who were you to ask minjeong to stop reminding you of your bitter ending? especially since it was your own impulsiveness that had ended the relationship. you could have been more understanding towards yizhuo, could have tried her best to resolve your conflict, but no. instead, you ran. ran like the coward you were.

you remember the brokenhearted look on yizhuo’s face, the devastated glimmer in her eyes before she had flipped her expression to another, like a switch. or more like a broken one, your brain offers unhelpfully. of course, the quiver of her lips had given yizhuo away almost immediately. you had known yizhuo for a third of your life, obviously you could tell when your soulmate– or in this case, ex, was about to break down.

you wish you had stayed, and simply comforted your soulmate like old times, but you couldn’t bear to watch yizhuo cry, because of you. you remember the look on your friends’ faces when you told them that you broke up with yizhuo, all the words they had yelled at her for betraying yizhuo. you remember the anger directed at you by yizhuo’s parents when you had sent them an apology letter. through the post, yizhuo had told you, letters felt more sincere than emails.

but perhaps the worst reaction wasn’t from any of them, it was simply from your own cat. meowing viciously when you had picked him up, bringing him together with you. the scratches lining your arms only serve as a constant reminder. mao, your british short haired, was desperately attached to yizhuo (and she was the one who named him too. what absolute luck.) his hostility could only be reasoned that he knew his owner had hurt yizhuo. if a silly little cat knew the extent of the breakup, what could that mean for you?

“wallowing in your grief again? that’s not good for you,” you peer up at chaewon, the only friend that somehow wasn’t connected to yizhuo. chaewon takes a quick glance at the invitation and giggles, “you’re going? i hope you survive, you haven’t paid this month’s rent yet.”

you merely sigh.

“the place’s gonna be filled with people who hate my guts, you really think i’m going? minjeong probably only sent this to piss me off.”

chaewon frowns, “you don’t seem pissed off, just sad. honey, you have to let me know if they’re bothering you, like actually. it’s not your fault, well– maybe it is, but you’re suffering too. it isn’t nice for them to do this to you.” you shrug in response. you deserve it. you deserve every stab in your heart, you deserve the tears that escape in the middle of the night.

“let’s drink tonight, okay? we’ll put on titanic or something and cry about life while eating ice cream,” chaewon offers. maybe it’s the thought of getting drunk, or titanic, or crying in your friend’s arms, but the offer is appealing and you find yourself agreeing too soon.

you can hear chaewon do a silent cheer. it makes you smile slightly and gives you enough energy to pull yourself up from the floor.

“i’ll go get the soju, just lie on the couch and relax!” you follow as your friend says and lie on the sofa you had picked out together after mao’s claws had sunk into the leather, ripping it to shreds. the cat was a brat.

doesn’t this remind you of something– or someone? the voice in your head quips. you groan, why couldn’t your head shut up sometimes? your heart drops as you recall the conversation between your parents when you had told them you broke things off with yizhuo. you remember your mother’s expression; disappointed and upset, a stark contrast to when you had told her that you finally found someone. the proud look on your father’s when you introduced yizhuo to them, god, why the fuck was yizhuo such an amazing girlfriend?

you caused this. you want to scream ‘no’. you’re the one who dumped yizhuo. who are you to be upset over thi–

“y/n? hey, stop thinking about it,” chaewon pouts, “don’t make yourself even more sad!” you blink back into reality and at the sight of chaewon puffing her cheeks out, holding two bottles of soju and a large bowl of popcorn, make you want to coo at the girl. you push the thoughts of yizhuo to the back of your head as soon as the opening to titanic appears on the screen.

you two laugh sometimes, mostly chaewon, but it’s quiet throughout the movie and you can’t tell whether you’d rather have chaewon’s comments about how cute the actors are or the silence that allows you to delve deeper into your thoughts. you take a sip whenever chaewon mentions how in love jack and rose are.

when you blink, it’s already at the part where jack allows rose to get onto the wooden door, while he stays in the freezing water. chaewon throws popcorn at the tv, apparently already drunk, screaming at rose to quote, “fucking move her ass,” for jack to get on. you take a large gulp of soju in the midst of chaewon’s sniffles.

“y/n…i can’t believe it… she just let jack die!” chaewon cries out, “the love of her life, she just let him go! how could she just let him die?!” you nod, trying to drink the already empty bottle of soju.

when you stand up, the whole room swirls and you stumble back onto the couch. “don’t let her go, y/n!” you jump at the close proximity of chaewon’s voice, “don’t let the love of your life go!”

you hum in agreement and scream, “i won’t let her go!” determined, you pick up your phone and the selfie of you and yizhuo greets her. you miss her, don’t you? of course not. you don’t miss her at all. change your homescreen then. you wouldn’t.

you roll your eyes and enter kakaotalk.

y/n [11.38pm]:

i kiss you

i miss you*

read [11.39pm]

“i did it, chaewon!” you exclaim, “i didn’t let her go!”

drunk you is apparently an idiot, since we all know, if a ‘i love you’ can’t solve a crack, obviously a ‘i miss you’ wouldn’t be able to solve an earthquake.

i miss you too. i miss you so much it hurts. but how could you say that, when you’re the one that left me first? yizhuo doesn’t cry as much anymore. she doesn’t sob into her pillow in the middle of the night anymore. the couple posts that appear on her instagram feed doesn’t make tears well up in her eyes anymore.

it still hurts. hurts as much as it did before. and yizhuo might just have to live with that pain everyday. the misspelt word makes her heart throb, in affection and pain, because she could imagine your voice in her head. are you hurting as much as she is? it doesn’t make the stabbing pain in her chest any better to know that the one she loves is suffering.

yizhuo stares at the glaring light from her phone. i miss you. really y/n? she wants to scoff. you were probably drunk out of your mind and sent that text on a whim. or maybe it was meant for another girl. the thought makes yizhuo want to cry.

is there someone else you call ‘baby' now?

fuck, you think, oh fuck. the read blaring on your phone, as if mocking you.

“shit,” chaewon groans, holding her head, “what happened last night? did we accidentally kill someone?” you wish you did. you take a deep breath, and scream. if the neighbours show up the next moment, it’s totally because of the night before, and not your scream at 8 in the morning.

you calm down. eventually. you calm down after chaewon grabs your shoulders and wiggles you back and forth, yelling for you to get your shit together. it only worsens the raging headache the both of you have. if rent wasn’t so high nowadays, you would have immediately fled and lived alone. kim chaewon with a hangover was not a good sight.

“whatever! you drunk texted your ex! whatever! hashtag yolo right— ah fuck, the room is spinning,” chaewon shrieks, “ugh, why did we drink so much?! but! your life isn’t over! so what if you texted her? it’s okay, we stay delusional and pretend things never happened!”

despite the wacky talk chaewon gives, it actually helps. texting yizhuo, while drunk, was a mistake. you nod hastily, “i get what you’re saying, but please let me go.”

chaewon loosens her grip, pursed lips as she huffs, “the most badass thing you can do now is go to the wedding.”

your eyes widen, “what the hell? kim chaewon, are you crazy? no, you’re insane.”

your roommate only grins lazily, “it came with a plus one invite, right? i’ll go with you. it’ll be okay! and don’t you wanna see your friends again?”

“i do, but most of them hate my guts,” you wince, recalling the angry messages left by aeri and minjeong, none from jimin, that probably speaks for itself what she thought of you, “they were yizhuo’s friends first, and mine second. when it comes to things like this, they would, rightfully so, take yizhuo’s side.”

chaewon whistles, “yeah it’s not looking too good for you right now.”

you flop onto the couch, sighing, “if i see yizhuo, i’ll freeze up and make a fool of myself.” your hands fly to rub at your eyes, groaning miserably, “i guess i’m not over her.”

chaewon slides into the space next to you, scoffing, “you think? having her number saved and pinned is crazy and the last time we talked before this, you were in love with her. what happened?”

your heart constricts painfully. you never spoke about your breakup to anyone, only asking chaewon if she still needed someone to split rent with. the moment you had uttered those words, you had left the shared apartment with yizhuo, not turning back to watch the love of your life collapse.

“i…” your throat dries up, “i was in love with her, i guess i still am. i don’t doubt that she felt the same for me, but maybe not anymore. our relationship was the best thing to ever happen to me. the happiest years of my life were when i was with yizhuo. she made me feel alive.”

tears prick at your eyes involuntarily. chaewon’s gaze is full of pity and comfort. sympathy. no one else gave you that.

“she wanted to get married, chaewon,” you whisper, “she was ready for marriage. i wasn’t.”

“oh.”

“i saw her looking at engagement rings one day and god, it was like, how have i never noticed before? she always shows me videos of weddings and how she would want her wedding to be like, but i never stopped to think whether i wanted marriage. i didn’t know what i would say if yizhuo just proposed. would it have hurt less for her if i said no rather than breaking up with her?”

chaewon presses a comforting hand to your shoulder, sighing, “i’m sorry, i literally see two of you right now but i’ll try to articulate this as best as i can.” her words draw out a hollow laugh from you. “you just weren’t ready yet, and yeah, you should have communicated that to her before jumping in to break up, but have you ever thought that you weren’t ready because you didn’t love her enough?”

you swallow, tears flowing down your cheeks freely, “n-no, i love her. she’s my favourite person. i love her so much, too much even. but getting married? that’s a lifelong commitment. i just didn’t know if she was sure that she really wanted to spend the rest of her life with… me. she has her whole life figured out. she’s a rich model who could have anyone else. we were childhood friends first, before girlfriends. and now she’s certain that she wants to marry me? what if there’s someone better for her out there? she’s only been chained to me because we got together so young. i just… had to let her go.”

“commitment issues,” chaewon states, “you have severe commitment issues.”

“i guess so,” you let out a watery laugh. your roommate chuckles, “you want her back?”

“yeah, i’m desperate.”

“let’s go to the wedding.”

you send a small smile to chaewon, “thanks, roomie.”

“i saw the invite by the way, and damn, are your friends rich? don’t get me wrong, i’m going as your moral support but the free buffet too—”

“i’m literally going to strangle you.”

yizhuo twirls the pen in her hand, watching it glide across her fingers and abruptly landing on the wooden table with a thud. she couldn’t stand seeing all the wedding preparations and chose to hide in jimin’s study. the door creaks open, a figure stands by the doorway.

“hello jimin unnie, aren’t you meant to be looking over the finishing touches of your wedding?” yizhuo asks, her smile dimming as she thinks about marriage. jimin frowns, “minjeong’s doing that. she told me to come check up on you.”

“me?”

“i know how you feel about weddings. we all do,” jimin says bluntly. yizhuo’s lips fall into a thin line. of course her friends were aware. they helped pick out the ring for god’s sake. the weight of a velvet box lying in her bedside table haunts her dreams.

yizhuo stands up from her desk, inching closer to jimin, a faux smile on her face, “you don’t have to worry about me. it’s your special day after all.”

“not yet, but let me worry about my friend for a while more before i get married,” jimin mutters, “minjeong sent an invite to y/n.” yizhuo’s whole body tenses up. a blurry image of you appears in her brain. she immediately shuts that down.

biting the inside of her cheek, yizhuo turns away from jimin with folded arms, “and? did she say she was coming?”

yizhuo hears jimin’s hesitance.

“just say it.”

jimin clears her throat, “she’s coming with a plus one.”

a distant thought forms. a plus one. your new girlfriend? did you find someone else? were you coming to the wedding to flaunt your new lover? yizhuo wasn’t dumb, she knew that her friends disliked you, heavily. minjeong most definitely sent out that invitation with disgust. jimin told her what minjeong had said to you. aeri had barely brushed it off, saying you weren’t worth her time scolding, despite the chain of messages she sent. she knew that you were aware they hated you. why would you come to the wedding?

“i-i’m not sure what’s their relationship, but her name is kim chaewon and oh my god, minjeong’s gonna kill me, y/n requested for a shared hotel room,” jimin utters out nervously. yizhuo’s eyes turn into slits. a shared hotel room?

“i see,” yizhuo says indifferently, contrasting the feelings bubbling inside her, “that’s good to know.”

jimin places a hand on yizhuo’s shoulder, “hey, it could all mean nothing, i don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“does it matter when i’m already like this?” yizhuo retorts back.

“i hope you don’t do anything stupid. before everything, you’re still my friend. if y/n showing up makes you uncomfortable, i’ll tell her she’s not invited,” jimin says softly, “minjeong will understand. you come first.”

“it’s your wedding, jimin. i won’t be a burden to you guys. it’s your day,” yizhuo mirrors jimin’s frown.

jimin’s shoulders slack.

“it’s not about that,” the older girl retorts, exasperated.

“what is it about then?”

“i don’t think minjeong will stay neutral and be calm when she sees y/n,” jimin groans, “she’ll probably pick a fight with her and i don’t want my wife to be stressed and angry on her wedding day.”

yizhuo can’t help teasing jimin, “wife, huh?”

jimin smirks, “yes, wife. you know last week, minjeong called me—”

“oh kay! i think you should go!” yizhuo yells, saving herself from the details of her friends’ intimate lives. jimin cackles maniacally as she leaves the study. yizhuo sighs and leans her head against the wooden door. jimin’s footsteps can be heard as she walks downstairs, along with the voices of her friends. they’re all scattered and anxious, she hears the distant shouting of minjeong and aeri. despite the noise around her, yizhuo feels somewhat at peace. for now. she doesn’t know what she’s going to do the moment you come to the wedding.

because despite what everyone else says, yizhuo cannot move on. you were literally half of her life and more. when you had uttered those words of devastation, it was like the world had ended. a terrible nightmare that tortured yizhuo every single day. was she too overbearing? sometimes— well, last time, you had mentioned that she was a very affectionate and clingy girlfriend. was that the sole reason? yizhuo frowns. no, that couldn’t be. you were equally as physically needy as her.

maybe you had found someone new? the plus one that was coming? that didn’t seem plausible either. if you were cheating, yizhuo would most definitely know and you abhorred cheaters anyway.

as she wrecked her mind for reasons, a common past time she developed after you had left, the constant rewinding of the conversation had been engraved in her brain eternally.

(yizhuo had just gotten off work, a smile on her face as she entered the house, heels clacking against the floor. the thought of you waiting at home impatiently for her only brought her smile to widen. maybe you would run up to her and embrace her warmly, complaining about how long she took. yet, neither of those happened and she’s left staring at you, hunched over, at the dining table, a suitcase packed by your side.

“what are you doing?” she had asked curiously. were you going on a trip? begrudgingly, you had gotten up, a sombre look on your face as you whispered, “yizhuo…”

that ticked yizhuo off. you never called her yizhuo. it was always baby, honey, sweetheart. but never yizhuo. it sounded so foreign and cold coming from your lips.

“what’s wrong? is everything okay?” she asked.

your face contorts into one of utter desperation and heartbreak, “i think we should break up.”

yizhuo’s mind had gone blank. she had never anticipated hearing those words from you. break up? that wasn’t in her future with you. her heart clenched uncomfortably against her ribcage and her throat constricted, to the point she couldn’t mutter a single word.

taking advantage of her silence, you run your fingers through your hair, the hair that yizhuo would so lovingly comb through every night as she whispered words of devotion into your ear, “i want to break up.”

“no.” is the only thing yizhuo can say. wide-eyed and stupefied, “no.”

you look as stunned as she is, yet the stark difference between the two of you, are the tears that threaten to tip over at every passing second in your eyes.

“yizhuo,” you pleaded, “i’m sorry. i can’t.”

“why are you doing this?” she croaked out, demanding an answer. the weight of the velvet box in her purse felt like it was dragging her down to the darkest pits of hell. she couldn’t imagine something like this ever happening. you were meant to be her happily ever after.

“i—”

yizhuo couldn’t stand it anymore. “tell me why you want to break up!” she yelled, the confusion and fatigue of her body overwhelming everything.

“i… please… don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“you don’t love me anymore? you found someone else?” yizhuo accused. of course, none of these were the true reasons. you couldn’t even look at yizhuo in the eye before murmuring an apology again and grasping the suitcase in your hand.

“i love you,” you had whispered at the door, “i’m sorry.”

yizhuo doesn’t even respond. pure shock overtaking her as she watched you leave. the moment the door had closed, sobs took over yizhuo as she collapsed on the floor, heartbroken and devastated at losing the love of her life.

if you truly loved her, you wouldn’t have left so easily.)

that statement plagues yizhuo’s mind for the next few years. it replays in her head repeatedly, like a broken mantra. she knows that it’s unhealthy; to be thinking of you every night before she succumbs to a dreamless sleep. yet, sometimes, yizhuo prays that she might be dreaming, and when she wakes up, you would be right by her side. jimin thinks she should get a therapist. but yizhuo doesn’t want to get over you. she fears that you might just become a hazy memory, lost in anger and grief. she doesn’t want that to happen. because despite everything, the pain you have caused her, she still loves you.

it’s strange, the way love works. yizhuo hates you for doing this to her; ruining her for anyone else because if they even bore a similar trait to you, she would just break down. like the blind date aeri had set her up on long ago. fresh out of the breakup, and with extreme bribery and convincing, yizhuo had met shen xiaoting, one of aeri’s friends, over dinner. aeri had said that maybe yizhuo needed someone closer to her culture, and with the homesickness she felt constantly, the lack of comforting words that you provided, yizhuo agreed.

that date was the whole reason aeri stopped asking yizhuo to go on blind dates, for when xiaoting had mentioned that she liked cats, yizhuo had started bawling, the memory of you playing with your own pet cursing her mind.

it was embarrassing to say the least, and even more embarrassing to explain to xiaoting that it wasn’t her fault. the poor girl had thought yizhuo had something against cats. aeri apologised endlessly as yizhuo cried, with an awkward xiaoting patting her shoulder. at least they became friends.

maybe, with the support of her friends, yizhuo would be able to stand the sight of you at the wedding. it would be totally fine! and if she sees you with someone new, maybe, just maybe, it would give her the motivation to finally get over you.

honestly, screw everything. you literally hate chaewon right now. thankfully, jimin and minjeong had provided a one night stay at the hotel. your apartment (and mao) was being taken care of by sakura, one of chaewon’s friends. there was apparently a party before the actual day. you assumed they would just want a shared bachelorette party. however, your self-proclaimed wingman was cozying up to one of the guests. by her straight posture and gentle expression, she was probably nakamura kazuha from high school. yizhuo was friends with her, you remember.

you couldn’t believe that all those words of encouragement had flown out the window the moment chaewon locked eyes with the ‘love of her life’. you roll your eyes, already annoyed with your friend. somehow, you still hadn’t spotted yizhuo amongst the crowd.

most of them, you didn’t recognise. some, from high school and college. the rest, probably family members. maybe some faces stood out, like shin ryujin from history class or jang wonyoung, the valedictorian. but mostly, unrecognisable. from the various mops of hair in the crowd, you spot uchinaga aeri’s infamous smirk. you wonder where the rest of the group are.

you sigh, taking a lonely sip of the champagne they provided. at least it was good.

chaewon’s obnoxious laughter fills the area. it’s loud and irritating, or maybe you’re just easily annoyed right now. kazuha just stares at her, all confused. it’s a little funny.

“y/n.” a steely voice rings out from the crowd. you whip your head, heart racing at the familiar but dreadful tone.

“oh,” you whisper, horror-stricken. you weren’t prepared to meet them now!

the older girl merely stares at you, before you bow your head hesitantly, “congratulations on your marriage.”

jimin visibly loosened up, her eyes twinkling and shining with adoration, “thank you.” perhaps out of all of yizhuo’s friends, jimin was the one who hated you the least. she didn’t bother scolding you or cursing you out, only choosing to glare at you.

“i think we should talk,” she finally says after a moment of silence. you wholeheartedly agree with her. if you were meant to see yizhuo tomorrow, you definitely needed another friend that wasn’t chaewon.

she brings you out of the function room, the starry night sky being the only company outside. jimin takes a long gulp of her champagne.

“why’d you really break up with yizhuo?”

the patiently and dedicated stitches of a sewed wound are ripped apart, directly exposing your bleeding heart and emotions. everything comes falling apart the moment she asks. you can only stare at her.

“i… i made a mistake,” you shake your head, “i wasn’t ready.”

jimin, patient as always, hums, urging you to continue.

“she wanted to get married. i didn’t,” you say, with grief and regret lacing your every word, because everything would be fine if you had just talked to yizhuo.

“we helped her pick out the ring,” jimin adds. you only feel more guilty.

“i can’t give her the life she wants, unnie,” the endearing term of intimacy slips out, a cry filled with desperation, “she deserves the world and i can’t give her that.”

“you were her world. it’s that simple. she only ever wanted you.”

hurt gnaws at your heart, it’s palpitating with raw stabs that echo of your heartbreak.

“i don’t deserve her,” you sigh, “i had to let her go. i couldn’t bear to see the look on her face if i refused her engagement.”

jimin nods, “i understand your fear. but i hate the fact that this could have been solved with an explanation.”

you groan, anger coursing through your veins. you were so upset and narrow-minded at the time. the only solution was to seemingly break up with yizhuo. it would spare her the everlasting pain from a rejection of her proposal.

“i know, i just couldn’t at that time.”

the older girl tries to smile. it’s akin to one of those encouraging ones she would give right before an exam or test. it sparks a shiver of nostalgia.

“jagiya, where are you— oh.”

jimin quickly straightens up, swiftly turning around to face minjeong with a grin, “hey, mindoong.”

you tense up, your fingers wrapping around the glass tightly.

“glad you could make it,” minjeong’s eyes flicker up and down your body, venom evident in her tone as she hisses, “y/n.”

nodding, you reply, “thank you for inviting me.”

the tension is overbearing; with minjeong’s glares, jimin’s beaming smile and your awkward shuffling, you couldn’t wait to retreat to the comfort of your hotel room.

“where’s your girlfriend?” minjeong suddenly asks. you stare at her, confused, “my what?”

jimin’s eyes widen as she hastily pulls minjeong aside, frantically whispering in her ear. but like the past, jimin has never been a good whisperer. you catch phrases like ‘she might not be her girlfriend’ and ‘what if yizhuo hears?’. a looming sensation brews in your stomach.

“kim chaewon? is that her name?” minjeong asks harshly, “didn’t take you to like korean girls, i thought you liked chinese girls instead.”

you’re visibly taken aback. what was minjeong saying? chaewon? your girlfriend? since when was chaewon your girlfriend?

“uh,” despite your fear of minjeong yelling at you, your words come out firmly, “chaewon isn't my girlfriend.”

minjeong falters slightly before scoffing, “yeah right. you don’t have to lie now. we all know that you left yizhuo for some other girl.”

your heart stops. what?

what was she saying?

leaving yizhuo for another girl?

“i— i would never… that’s—”

“minjeong unnie, that’s enough.”

you’ve thought of this moment forever. every single day after the break up. you’ve thought of running back into her arms, apologising endlessly for even thinking of breaking up with her. you’ve thought of how she would accept you graciously with murmurs of comfort, because that was just how she was. a gracious and generous girl who deserved the world. you’ve thought of her bright smile and gleaming eyes.

you’ve never thought of her staring at you, a dull and saddened look on her face.

“ning—”

“minjeong unnie,” she pleads, “please.”

the watery gaze must have swayed minjeong over. you would know, having fallen prey to her puppy eyes before. yizhuo slides the door open, watching intently as minjeong and jimin leave.

“good luck,” jimin whispers just before she steps away. you think you need all the luck in the world right now.

yizhuo lets out a heavy sigh once the door slides closed. she gazes at you for a second. you’re taken back to your younger days, where every day was spent just staring at yizhuo. you had proclaimed confidently that yizhuo was the most gorgeous girl on earth. you aren’t wrong. the years you spent apart from her had done her generously. it had only been two, yet, yizhuo looked more mature and sure of herself.

“did you really find someone new?” she whispers, shattering the glass of ignorance. you swallow, shaking your head, “no.”

yizhuo thinks back to the drunken message you had sent.

“was that on purpose? that text you sent,” she asks, eyes wide and afraid of your answer.

you shake your head again, “i was drunk. i’m sorry.”

“i hate you, you know that right?” yizhuo says. before, you had imagined the piercing stab of pain that came with those words. you had thought it would be the end of your life, with the girl you loved the most saying she hated you.

it’s understandable now, and inevitable.

“i know,” you whisper.

yizhuo continues to stare at you. somehow, this all feels like a fever dream, one that she’ll wake up from soon. it feels unreal to have you in front of her again.

she takes in the sight of you, memorising every detail for if you leave again.

“why’d you come then?”

there are many reasons that you can say, with varying degrees of truthfulness; to congratulate jimin and minjeong, to see your friends again, to just visit your hometown.

“i wanted to see you.” it’s the truthest thing you’ve ever said.

“you can’t,” yizhuo inhales sharply, “yo-you can’t just show up like this.”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

your head hangs lowly.

“tell me the real reason why you left.”

you had expected this.

she would want closure.

your throat constricts uncomfortably.

“i… yizhuo…”

“tell me.” it feels similar to your past.

yizhuo looks as beautiful as ever. she’s the only thing you can think of right now. her lips are moving, yet you don’t hear a single thing.

“i didn’t want marriage.”

oh.

the girl’s eyebrows furrow. her eyes turning into slits of anger as she takes in a deep breath. you know she’s about to start tearing up. maybe you should quickly explain yourself.

it’s your only chance.

“i saw you looking at engagement rings and i knew i wouldn’t be ready if you got down on one knee. you’re a model, for god’s sake. you had a prospering career, being tied down to someone like me wouldn’t bring you any benefits,” you finally say. it’s not the full reason why, but you hope yizhuo would understand even a semblance of your choice.

“i know that it’s a shitty excuse. i know that i’m a coward. but what else was i meant to do?”

yizhuo huffs.

“talked to me. you could have talked to me.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“would that stop me from breaking your heart?”

the love of your life stands before you. yet, it seems like the only words of devotion you’ll exchange is how devoted she is to hating you. yizhuo crosses her arms, frowning, “yes. i’d much rather have a minute of heartbreak than years of it. you’re such a prick.”

“yizhuo—”

“no, you don’t get to do this,” she points a finger at your chest, prodding the area where your head resides ferociously, “you can’t just come back, explain yourself with an extremely stupid reason, and expect that i would be okay with it. you sent me a drunk text, saying you missed me. how come i don’t feel anything?”

“i love you, yizhuo. i just did what i thought was right in that moment—”

the only thing you can hear is your heart shattering into pieces at the sight of tears falling down her face. yizhuo sniffles, her voice becoming shrill as she adds on, “you’re an asshole. you think you’re the only one in this relationship? you didn’t even explain yourself properly. you think you’re making the right choices for us? for me?”

you continue to stare at her blankly.

the next words come out like a gunshot, “then you don’t know me at all.”

it snaps onto your skin, leaving a scathing burn and engraving ning yizhuo’s name into your body. your insides coil up painfully. hearing yizhuo’s cries as you left years ago had been torturous, but nothing beats her breaking down in front of you right this instant. you’re overcome with a striking urge to pull her into your arms and whisper words of affection into her ears, promising her to never leave. the pet name leaves your mouth quicker than you can think.

“baby—”

a sharp stinging sensation sears in your right cheek. you can feel the affected area heating up, scorching hot and red. yizhuo’s handprint is evident, singed in your skin.

an onslaught of tears rises, but you’re determined to not let them fall.

“okay,” you whisper, unable to say anything else to the equally stunned yizhuo, “i’ll leave. i’m sorry.”

the girl just stands outside in the cold, her eyes bloodshot and cheeks rosy from the wind. before you go, the slight shiver that runs through her body makes you hesitate. the comfort of your jacket feels like a heavy burden now.

maybe you would get slapped again. but at least yizhuo wouldn’t be cold.

gently taking it off, you encase yizhuo in your jacket, biting your cheek (which still hurts!) to resist a smile at how it covers her small figure. she gazes at you like a deer caught in headlights. you sigh and try to move your legs, but they feel like jelly. with much difficulty, you finally make it to the door, using the frame to stabilise your wobbly walking.

when you turn back, yizhuo isn’t staring at you, but she’s staring at the night sky, more specifically, the moon. you take one last look at her. the weight on your shoulders is gone now. and all that is left is a longing feeling to have yizhuo back in your arms again. but maybe, you could live with that.

sliding the door open, you go back into the function room. the crowd had dispersed, leaving just a few people chatting around. you spot jimin and minjeong talking while drinking. aeri’s at the bar, engaged in a conversation with a waitress. chaewon, god bless her, is relatively nearby, while kazuha is nowhere to be found.

“chaewon,” you breathe out, relieved. she turns to you, startled, “oh damn, what happened to your face? you look a little…”

“i know,” you laugh dryly, “i think it’s time for us to leave and go to sleep now.”

chaewon doesn’t argue and instead nods, her eyes drawn to the reddening mark across your cheek. even in the dark light, she could still notice the imprints of someone’s fingers.

“she slapped you?” she asks while you head towards the elevator.

“yeah,” you scratch the back of your neck, “we kind of… argued.”

chaewon laughs heartily at your misfortune. you’re glad at least this brings someone joy. maybe minjeong too. she would love to see you in pain.

“i think you should get some rest buddy,” she pats your back. you nod, feeling as if sleep was just an arm’s reach away.

the conversation with yizhuo had drained you significantly, both mentally and physically. and maybe you should put some ointment on the red area too. you might wake up with a bruise or something tomorrow.

the urge to flop into bed is too strong as chaewon slides the keycard into the slot. the door opens, revealing a luxurious hotel suite with a king-sized bed. you remember requesting for a shared room. it was to mainly prevent yourself from doing anything reckless when drunk. you’d have chaewon to keep you grounded.

“did you get kazuha’s number?” you ask as chaewon throws her face cleanser at you. the girl giggles, “yeah. she’s so cute.”

you subtly cringe at the lovestruck look in her eyes.

groaning, you head into the bathroom. your eyes widen as you prod at your cheek, shocked that yizhuo landed such a heavy hit. damn, has she been going to the gym lately? the yizhuo back then barely had any strength to resist your tickles. there wasn’t any surging hot anger left from yizhuo slapping you, just a dull and yearning hope for her. maybe you should calm yourself down by taking a cold shower.

after dowsing yourself with water, you padded out of the bathroom, only to discover that chaewon wasn’t hunched over her luggage anymore.

you check your phone.

chaewon [10.27pm]:

zuha texted me, staying w her for the night

there’s ointment on the bedside table

for ur stupid face

bye :p

wow. chaewon had managed to do that within a day. staying at a girl’s hotel room? you whistle lowly. maybe she was onto something. but with her departure, the hotel room feels too quiet now. only the breezing and fluttering sounds of the airconditioning accompanying your thoughts of self-loathing. collapsing onto the bed, you reach out for the ointment.

just as you unscrew the cap, the doorbell rings. you don’t recall ever ordering room service. maybe it was chaewon and she forgot something?

you turn the door knob, not bothering to check who it was.

“chaewon—”

ning yizhuo stands before you, glassy eyes and a look of desperation that you’re familiar with.

“oh.”

she shuffles awkwardly, gesturing at your cheek, “are—is it okay? does it hurt?”

gulping, you shake your head.

“can we talk?” she asks, in the quietest voice ever, her words coming out shaky and breathless.

you open the door wider.

yizhuo mutters a soft, “thank you,” as she enters the room. you quickly send a text to chaewon telling her not to come back.

“did you put any cream on it?” she asks.

“no, not yet. i was just about to,” you reply quietly. the tension from the heated argument from before had disapparented, only leaving a strained relationship behind.

“can you sit down?”

you follow her instructions dutifully, sitting right at the edge of the bed. yizhuo lifts the ointment up, squeezing a bit on her finger before gently rubbing it into your cheek. it hurts, but the softness of her touch heals the area.

wincing as she applies more pressure, you can only stare at the girl.

“i’m sorry,” she whispers.

“it’s okay.”

you want to pull her into your arms.

you want her to lean onto you.

you want the feeling of her skin against yours.

“i was really hurt.”

“i know.”

yizhuo sighs, her hands dropping.

“i can’t believe you left me so easily.”

your chest tightens at the devastated tone in her voice. it wasn’t easy, you want to say. but it doesn’t feel right to defend yourself now.

“i thought it was the right thing to do.”

yizhuo lifts her head up, “why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to get married?”

“i don’t know,” it comes out in a hushed murmur, “i didn’t want to tie you down. you had a lot more things to accomplish.”

“i’d rather have you and nothing than losing you and having everything.”

the confession goes unsaid. because you’re her everything.

“i’m sorry. you just had your whole life in front of you and i was in the back. i… i didn’t fit into your life.”

the girl takes everything in. you were just so afraid then. scared that once you said yes to her proposal, yizhuo might realise that you weren’t the one for her. you’d rather be away from her, than be with her and make her unhappy. you didn’t want to live a miserable life where you hated each other.

“you don’t get to make that choice for me.”

“i know, yizhuo.”

yizhuo’s eyes are brimming with tears. her raven hair covering her face partially, but you can feel the pain radiating off her.

“you know that i would have been happy just being with you?”

“i know.”

“god, you still left like it was the easiest decision of your life.”

no it wasn’t, you again want to protest.

“you know that even in another life, i would choose to just have you by my side, even if i lose everything else? don’t you understand the extent of my love for you?”

it’s so surreal— the way yizhuo is practically begging for you to realise that leaving her was the worst possible choice for you to make.

“i love you too much.”

“then why’d you leave?” she asks.

through tears, you shakily breathe out, “because i love you too much.”

the lack of past tense doesn’t bother you, nor does it bother yizhuo. it’s a given that you’re still madly in love with the girl, and vice versa. it only leaves the question of what will happen now. yizhuo doesn’t say much afterwards. it’s the truth. you love her too much that you couldn’t bear to see her suffer because of you.

“i was so ready to marry you, i bought a ring,” yizhuo mutters, shedding tears. her sniffles aren’t concealed by the low humming of the air conditioning. it feels too real.

“forgive me, please,” you say.

“i can’t.”

the hotel room goes quiet.

“that’s okay,” it’s hard to say. you want to protest against everything, beg yizhuo to take you back and you could live your happily ever after with her.

it doesn’t happen. you don’t fall to your knees and plead.

you only stare at yizhuo in a mix of fear and longing affection. it pains you to see her so broken, and it only drives the knife further into your heart to know you’re the reason why.

“i’m so tired, y/n.”

you nod, feeling the fatigue seep in.

“me too.”

“can i sleep here tonight?” yizhuo asks softly.

you nod. there were still things to talk about, but you think you’ve done a decent job so far. pulling the covers over your bodies as yizhuo slides into the bed, you relish in the warmth and comfort of having her beside you again.

she turns her head to look at you, uncertainty filling her voice, “let’s talk more in the morning. i’m tired now.”

you agree with her wholeheartedly, inching closer to fit against her back.

as yizhuo’s eyelids flutter shut, you caress her skin tenderly. your index finger writes against her back, strokes lining her skin.

我爱你.

i love you. it’s one of the many phrases you’ve picked up throughout the years of being with the girl. she only taught you silly words and swears, but yizhuo had insisted you learn how to say and write those very words.

it’s fitting, because it’s all you ever feel for her.

because of yizhuo, you’ve had the opportunity to experience having a soulmate for almost your whole life. because of yizhuo, there’s no lingering doubt of being unlovable. because of yizhuo, you get to spend your days filled with happiness.

because of yizhuo, you understand what love is.

you just hope she understands you too.

#aespa x fem reader #aespa x reader #ning yizhuo x reader #yizhuo x reader #ningning x reader #aespa #ningning #ning yizhuo

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loveindefinitely · 9 months

Text

༊*·˚ FOREVER WINTER (IF YOU GO) — task force 141 x reader

01 — TOO YOUNG TO KNOW IT GETS BETTER

featuring. simon 'ghost' riley + johnny 'soap' mactavish + kyle 'gaz' garrick + john 'bravo six' price + (non-endgame phillip graves)

warnings. nsfw, fem!reader, fmmmm, enemies to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, ghostsoap, pricegaz, alerudy, heavy angst, requited unrequited love, graphic violence

series masterlist. read on ao3. fanfic playlist.

<- previous part | next part ->

You almost worshipped him.

It wasn’t because of his status – although, that certainly played a role in it all – and it wasn’t because of his bank statements.

No. Phillip Graves was one of the best men you’d ever known.

Or so you had thought.

Turns out, no matter how well he looked after his men – his ‘girl’ – and no matter how charismatic he was, that wouldn’t, couldn't change his roots. And, at those very roots, was decay. Evil in its most purest of forms; a tantalisingly devastating mix of every sin.

The most prevalent one?

Greed.

He was a greedy, greedy man, and he would stop at nothing to have it all. Even if he knew the fall out; even if he knew that he could never go back to the man he once was.

Phillip Graves didn’t care. Not in the slightest.

And it was you that would pay the ultimate price.

Rain beats down your back in heavy sheets as you stand, the harsh night littered with flashlights and car sirens.

It’s cool, just this side of too cold, and it has the hairs on the back of your neck rising with the temperature.

The temperature, and…

“Yup-yup,” the two men to your right call into their comms. You remain silent, but it goes unnoticed. Your eyes are trained to the paved street, rippling with the rainwater, littered with streaks of red.

Blood stains this town, and you haven't done anything to stop it.

“Let’s go.”

Raising your head, you meet the eyes of the operative who, ranks-wise, is below you. Really, you should be reprimanding him for his quip, but you understand the annoyance. You’re being quiet – something quite unusual for your normally direct and authoritative nature.

Tightening your grip around the shiny, water-slicked gun in your hand, you give him a sharp nod in response.

Seemingly satisfied, he turns, and you follow him along the sidewalk of the narrow, stone streets. Shops line either side of the area, their front-windows smashed and the products inside thrown about.

It’s like your heart has launched itself into your throat, the constant thrum of it setting your nerves alight.

“Three-zero, I want you and your two to find those Brits. We’ve got the cops. Copy?”

That once reassuring, adoring voice is now cold, void of any emotion he used to have. It makes tears burn at the back of your vision – if you were a weaker woman, they’d have fallen. Instead, you press down the button for your comms.

“Copy, Sir. Three-zero out.”

The fact that you manage to get those words out is a feat in and of its own.

It feels as though you’re lost at sea, with nothing to hold onto. Buoyant, but barely – every wave threatening to pull you under for good. To smother your silent cries for help, for guidance, for something to keep you grounded.

But there is no sea, and there is no support.

“You two go up ahead, I’ll search the house here,” you say, voice thick with demand. You didn’t have to decide anything right now. You just had to be the leader you were, and do what you’ve always done.

“Copy,” your two subordinates say, moving up further.

With their absence, you find that you can breathe – as if a weight has been lifted off of your chest, and you can finally fill your lungs.

You’re alive. You’re alive. You’re alive.

The mantra helps, surprisingly, and you hold onto those two words like they’re your only lifeline.

Through the thick of night and rain, you can see the door to the house on your left. It’s been left open, which means that either it’s already been searched – which you doubt – or… Someone else has been in there.

Gun secured in your grip, you move to the door with soft footing, quiet enough to not be heard over the shouts of other shadows just a few ways away. The constant pattering of the overhead storm clouds slow, just the slightest, allowing for a bit more sight.

Using your shoulder to further open the door with a creak, you take note of your surroundings immediately.

There’s a flickering light to the room on your far right, a living area, most likely. To your left is a short hallway, but none of the doors alert you of any occupancy. The place has been torn apart, pictures scattered along the wooden floor, shards of glass decorating the space along with it.

It sends a pang of guilt through your chest.

These were families being torn apart by your commander, your company. And for what? What was Graves’ angle here?

You’d been left on base to keep things running smoothly while Graves and unit one worked with the 141 and Las Vaqueros. You knew very little about any of this, and when you’d been called out to Las Almas, to aid with this?

This wasn’t what you fought for. This wasn’t what you would ever support, not in a million years.

But going against direct orders was going against your commander, and your livelihood. Shadow Company was all you’d known since your childhood. Having been hired when Graves was merely a young-upstart with big dreams, you were quickly swept up in the community of it all. They were your family, and Graves was the only semblance of a ‘loved one’ you had.

And now?

Now, he was sending you on a bounty hunt, for two men who, from your limited knowledge, didn’t deserve death. They were the good guys, and although most of your existing bias towards the two was due to rumours back on base, your intuition said that they were good men. And your intuition had never steered you wrong, not once.

Your mind feels like a never ending turbine as you move through the house, eyeing the barren walls and smashed vases.

Exhaling a low, deep breath, you tighten your hold on your weapon. It’s more of a comfort, at this point. Which is odd, considering that its sole purpose is to kill and destroy.

Through the dim light, you manage to find a set of stairs. They’re dingy, and the patterned carpet is mildew-riddled as you make your way to the next floor with slow, careful steps.

You’ve decided to keep your flashlight off, just in case it brings any extra attention to you.

As soon as you make it to the last step, a sense of… wrongness settles in your system. Something’s off, and it’s almost as if there’s an alarm ringing in your ears at the realisation.

Someone’s here.

Grounding yourself, both mentally and physically, you prepare to push through the hallway.

Setting aside your mental dilemma, you remind yourself that the physical battle is far more vital to your life right now. If you lose that, you lose your life.

If you lose your morals?

You just suppose you lose yourself.

The sound of a radio switching on has your senses alerted like a switchboard completely alight.

Stepping into the hallway, your chest constricting, you snap your gaze to both of your sides. With the little-to-no light, you can barely make out your limbs, let alone your surroundings. Your spatial awareness was solid, but with conditions like this? Near impossible.

The entire corridor is shrouded in shadow, the incessant rain outside and the screams of the cartel’s policemen ringing in your ears.

It reeks of death and despair, and your skin is coated in a thin sheen of chilled sweat.

The third door to your left is creaked open, just the slightest sliver, but it catches your attention like a moth to a flame. Keeping your frame encased in the darkest of the shadows, you move with patient, skillful steps towards the door.

A moment passes, tense and nerve-wracking in a way no other mission has ever been.

A breath in.

A breath out.

You push open the door, gun raised, ready for anything –

Nothing.

Quickly checking over the room to your right, you see nothing but bashed up mattresses and blood-stained carpet.

Just as you’re about to turn to check behind the door, two things happen at once.

One, you get slammed to the ground, your head knocking against the hard flooring and sending a burst of pain through your temple, your gun skidding across the floor to your left.

Two –

“Fuckin’ Christ!”

A man – scottish, that much is prevalent – whisper-shouts. You squint, the pain of the sudden fall throwing you off.

Not a second later, however, you manage to roll, shoving him off of you with a grunt. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness, but you manage to make out the impossibly muscled frame of the man who’d just fallen on top of you.

He’s tall, not as giant as some of the men you served alongside with, but tall nonetheless. That’s all of the visual information you manage to gain before he sends an elbow to your gut, evoking a hiss through your gritted teeth.

You wriggle away, kicking out with your right foot and hitting what you think is his chin, considering his pained grunt.

“You bloody bastard,” he snaps, hand wrapping around your ankle and pulling you.

Your responding squeak is likely the most undignified sound you have ever made in your life, but it gives the man pause. Enough of one so as to allow you to wrench your leg back and careen it back into his face.

“Shut the fuck up!” You hiss back, all too aware of the likelihood that your men will show up and shoot first, ask later.

“Are you feckin’ stupid, lass?” He retorts, although his tone is dutifully lower as he scrambles to grab your legs once more, his fist finding your belt and pulling you towards him.

Your attempts to dig your heels into the ground to prevent yourself from being pinned by him are fruitless, his strength undoubtedly superior to yours. That was a fact all too common when it came to your hand-to-hand fights, but luckily, it was just one factor of many.

“Are you?” Your shock is palpable as he gets his other hand around the other side of your belt, using the grip to pull himself over you.

His torso is pressed against your own as he goes to pin your hands, but with one quick manoeuvre, you wrap your legs around his waist and turn.

Utilising your lower body strength, you’re able to reverse the position, your hips pinning his to the ground. In one sweep of your hands, you collect both of his wrists and force them into the carpet. The room fills with your harsh, panted breaths, the outside commotion only a distant soundtrack.

“Yer supposed to kill me now, Shadow,” he says, a torment, a threat.

You swallow, once, an unsure thing.

He’s right, of course. He should be dead by now, bleeding out onto the floor. You should be comming to your fucking Commander, and telling him that one of the men he’s after has just been reported KIA. That’s what should be happening.

So how come it’s not?

“I know,” you say, the words falling through your lips despite the internal conflict in your head. “You should be dead.”

He mirrors your confusion with raised brows, and it’s then that you can feel the blood trickling onto your hand. He’s bleeding down his arm, you realise with a start. He’s wounded.

Flitting your gaze to the floor up ahead, you catch sight of your gun, only a few steps away. One shot is all you’d need. One second, and that mouth of his would never open again.

The sole window in the room flashes with a burst of lightning, and that short second of light lets you catch sight of his features. Blood coats his jaw – from your kicks, maybe – and he’s got dirt caked onto his cheek. His stubble has clearly missed a few shaves, and his mohawk isn’t gelled.

“Still waiting, Shadow,” he says. And although he’s quiet, the words feel like a yell in the tense room. Like a shout directly into your soul, screaming for you to sort your shit out.

You go to respond – with what, you’re not sure – when the man underneath you manages to rip his hands from your grip and swing them around the back of your neck. He pulls you forward, your neck fitting into the crook of his elbow as he squeezes.

When you try to inhale, you end up choking on a cough. He’s strangling you, you realise, with his fucking biceps.

There’s mere moments for you to make a decision before you pass out, or he breaks your neck. Moments for you to decide what the fuck you can do.

Balling your right hand into a tight fist, you punch into his nose, a sickening crack making your teeth slide together. He swears, rapid-fire, a few Gaelic-sounding words slipping out along with them. It’s enough of a distraction to let you wrench out of his hold with a cough, wincing when you claw at his arm and draw blood. Thank fuck for fingerless gloves.

Crawling forward as he brings a hand up to his now-bleeding nose, you’re just a breath away from reaching your gun when his hand grabs into your hair and pulls, eliciting a cry from you.

It’s a dirty move, but this is a dirty fight.

“Fucking – let go!” You grit out, the pain of the tightening on your scalp unique and not at all tolerable.

He just pulls tighter in response, and as you try and reach the gun, your fingers fall just millimetres short. It’s maddening, your emotions out of whack and your mental compass skewed beyond belief.

He should be fucking dead. He should be fucking dead.

So why wasn’t he?

You realise that he’s using his grip on you for leverage, to move himself closer to the weapon. Reaching towards his bare arm, you manage to catch your hand around it, nails digging into his wet skin.

He lets out a pained groan, and it becomes quickly apparent to you that he’s been shot in that arm. Moving your fingers, your index finger pushes into the open wound.

His grip on your hair goes lax, and he stops moving towards the gun long enough to allow you to move on top of him once more, pinning him underneath your weight. You’re both evidently weaker than the last time you were in this position, and you’re about to do something, something, something –

“Johnny? How copy?” An urgent, oddly panicked voice echoes around the room. It’s crackled, in only the way a radio’s can, and the two of you stun yourselves into freezing. His communications have been dislocated, and now they’re loud and clear for both of you to hear. “Johnny, what the fuck is happening?”

“Shit,” Johnny curses, head falling back against the ground in exasperation.

You’re not sure when you’d laxed your grip from his wound, your hand loose around his arm. You’re not sure when you’d subconsciously started avoiding fatal moves.

At this point, you’re not sure about anything at all.

Although it’s hard to see, you’re sure that the two of you make eye contact.

Neither of you make a move.

“Soap!”

Slowly, Johnny moves his hand to the communicator in his vest, pressing the button to allow for his voice to carry over to the man on the other end.

“A little occupied, Sir,” he murmurs, tightly.

If you move your hand to his throat, or use this as a distraction, you could have him dead before the other man could even register his words.

“I can’t get a visual on you,” the other man quips back, voice laced with thinly-veiled worry. “Johnny, if you die, I’m fuckin’ killing your ass.”

You bite back a slightly crazed chuckle at that statement, and by the shift in Johnny’s chest, he does too.

Johnny doesn’t turn off his communicator. The other man – Ghost, if you’re correct – will be able to hear everything you say.

Ghost and Soap.

Jesus H. Christ. Soap – Johnny MacTavish – the 141 operator you heard whispers about throughout your unit – he was underneath you. He was on the run from your commander. He was the man you were assigned to fucking kill.

He’s alive.

You’re alive.

“Shadow Three-Zero, what’s your status?”

Oh, fuck. Fucking hell.

Both you and Johnny’s eyes dart to your own communicator – the earpiece scattered along the floor just as his had been.

Graves’ voice. It sends a shiver down your spine for all the wrong reasons, and the lump in your throat doubles in size. If it’s at all possible, the rain outside grows louder, and more gunshots echo in your ears.

“Shadow Three-Zero. Have you got ‘em? Don’t go two-timing me now, babe.”

How he’s – how he’s being so light, so carefree while storming these streets and murdering fathers, brothers, sons in cold blood – it cements a thought in your head. Out of the storm of them, the endless noise of them all, one becomes concrete. Factual. A single truth in your world of lies.

You press down your communicator button.

“Haven’t found them yet, sir. Wouldn’t dream of going against you.”

“Atta girl,” he responds, a light chuckle carrying over the radio. “After this is all done, we can have a celebration of our own, hey?”

Your mouth is barren of moisture, your tongue a heavy weight that feels all too useless as you reply once more. It doesn’t go unnoticed how neither Soap, or Ghost over the comms, say a word.

“It’ll be my pleasure, sir.”

You rip off your communicator, throwing it across the room. It sets the course of the rest of your life, you’re sure. You still do it.

All the while, you hold Soap’s gaze.

He hasn’t killed you. He could’ve, you realise, he really could’ve. He had the opportunity. Still does.

But.

You’re alive.

And so is he.

“What’re you doin’, Shadow?” Johnny finally asks, equally suspicious and curious. His tone is tight, almost as much as his body is against your own.

You’d almost forgotten that he’s underneath you. Weaponless, and bleeding out. Wounded.

On the run.

Your eyes are wide, manic, maybe, as you say with shaky breaths;

“This isn’t right. I – I don’t fight for this. You guys, you,” squeezing your eyes shut, if only for a brief moment, you continue, slower, “This isn’t the Graves I know. I’m not going to be on the wrong side of history. I’d rather betray him than stand by his side with blood on my hands.”

Soap must sense your conviction, your wobbly words holding such truth and capability in them, because he nods, sharply.

“Johnny,” the radio chimes in again, the man’s tone a warning. “Don’t.”

Soap works his mouth, a crease forming between his blood-stained brows. If you were at all a poet, you’d akin his blue eyes to a storm-brewed sea. But you’re a soldier, so they’re merely obvious in the window’s scarce light, a stark contrast to the reds and darkness all around you both.

You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. You’d clearly hit your head too hard when Soap had crashed into you, or you’d been drugged earlier.

“I have intel,” you blurt out, like a crazed lunatic. That description is, unfortunately, a little too fitting to your current state. “I’m – I’m a fucking good fighter. You help me, I help you.”

“We don’t need your help,” Soap quickly, almost automatically, retorts. But his words seem weak, his certainty nowhere on your own.

“You’re shot and on the run with no weapons,” you reply, slowly. Words. You were good at words, at debates. You could survive this. Maybe. “I know Graves. I know my men. And I know that I’d rather be a traitor than a war criminal.”

That’s maybe the most true thing you’d thought, or said, since you’d first been asked to head to Las Almas with an order to kill.

There’s silence.

A few beats pass before you open your mouth once more, tone just this side of pleading, “I’ll help you guys survive this. If you help me take down Graves, and support me – if you give me the assets I need. That’s all I’m asking.”

“We don’t trust you,” Soap says, and you nod.

“I don’t exactly have faith in you either. But it’s this or we all end up dead.”

Ghost inputs something, this time. “If you two make it to the church, we’ll consider it.”

That’s the most you can ask for. The best possible outcome from you being the biggest fucking idiot to walk this earth. You were lucky that Soap was… merciful. Which was, all things considered, the weirdest component of this entire, messed up equation.

It seems like agreement passes through you all, like a sort of handshake. An invisible one, but a symbol of truce nonetheless.

“Get yer ass offa me,” Soap groans, breaking the tension of the room.

Scrambling off of him, but keeping your wits about you, you realise that you’d virtually been laying on the man your entire conversation. Your ears burn in embarrassment.

“...Right. I’m taking my gun,” you murmur.

Which is, obviously, the worst thing to say.

“Are you feckin’ serious? Dinnae wanna work with an idiot, Jesus,” Soap immediately hisses out, getting up with a hand on his knee, bringing his other to press against his bullet wound with a wince. You think that Ghost says something similar, but it’s drowned out by Soap.

“I’m best with close-range, and I’m not the one wounded,” you immediately bite back, hand wrapping around said weapon and holding it to your chest, checking over the room for any more supplies. Luckily, unlike the man in front of you, you still have all of your supplies and gear. His top is thin, you think, and soaked through with both rain and blood. Your standard Shadow Company uniform still fits you like a second skin, and although wet, doesn’t soak into your bottom layers. Your tactical knife, still strapped to your thigh, is secure and perfectly in place.

How you’d not used it in that fight was a testament to your mindscape more than anything.

“How do I know ye won’t just shoot me when my back’s turned?” Soap shoots back, his tone a weapon in its own right.

You raise a brow, and you hope that he can see it. “I would’ve done that already if that was my plan. And you’re calling me an idiot.”

“You’re a right ass,” he retorts, not unlike a petulant child.

“And you’re a right dickhead.” And, alright, you realise that you’re not much better, but it’s deserved.

“And you both need to hurry the fuck up.”

You and Soap both have the decency to wince at the man’s words, and you both shut up as you finish checking over yourselves. You, focusing on checking your straps and belt, and Soap, hissing about his wound.

…If this camaraderie lasted the night, you’d think about apologising for that move.

Checking over your gun, you move to slowly open the door as Soap fixes up his radio, putting his earpiece back in its place. You are, admittedly, a bit annoyed that you won’t be able to hear Ghost’s callouts, but again, you had a gun.

“Let’s go,” you softly say, tilting your head towards the door. Soap nods, clearly ready to meet back up with his Lieutenant and get out of here.

As you slowly open the door, guns raised and eyes alert, you let the reality of your situation settle over you like the world’s coldest blanket. You’re going against everything you’ve ever known, all because of your morals that had always been slightly off-centre. Came with the job, you supposed.

But this was uncharted territory. Directly betraying your unit, your men, your Commander, and helping the men you’re assigned to kill? Asking them for their help in return?

“Clear,” you softly report to Soap, who acknowledges your order with a low noise. Following you with silent steps down the stairs, you keep your gun raised as you check over the bottom floor, before signalling for him to exit through the front door with you.

As the two of you enter the laneway once more, your breath catches in your throat as you assess the damage.

You spot several bodies littering the streets as rain hits you once more, the presence of it oddly comforting throughout it all. A truck up ahead has its lights on, the red of the brakes shining against the wet pavement like the pools of blood not three metres away from it.

“Steamin’ Jesus,” Soap murmurs from behind you, and you can’t help but agree with his sentiment.

This was pure bloodshed, at the hands of the one man you thought you could trust.

Betrayal tastes oddly sour in your mouth. Betrayal like this, on all sides, it’s like being suffocated by two cloths at once. Two very bloody, very assaulting cloths, at that.

Soap seems to be communicating with Ghost as the two of you make your way down the street, considering the back-and-forth whispers from Soap. He seems almost. Flirty. Which is a stark realisation, and truly, the least of your worries right now.

“If you can find bandages, or something close to it, I’ll get that arm of yours fixed up.”

You keep your tone low, careful of your surroundings as you see Soap nod, albeit almost in shock, in your periphery. Keeping your gaze forward, you move along the sidewalk.

The beauty of these shops, and this community, has been tarnished by the massacre of your Shadows. Your heart aches, seeing it all – the smashed windows, the blood, the distant sound of screaming and crying.

You and Soap make it about a block in silence, before flashlights ahead have you grabbing onto Soap’s shirt and pulling him into the open door of the shop to your left, heart beating rapidly in your chest.

“Shadow Three-Zero’s gone silent,” you hear a familiar voice say. Your subordinate – one of the two you’d sent to check the houses up ahead. “Reckon she’s dead?”

Soap, for his part, is silent where he’s been pushed up against the wall, your head meeting his collarbone.

“Nah. She mighta slept her way to the top, but she’s good. Probably gone dark so she can suck Graves off on the side or something.”

Your breath comes out in a sharp exhale, your fists tightening unknowingly onto the fabric of Soap’s shirt. He doesn’t even breathe in response.

The other chuckles. “Fuckin’ slut. Can’t believe she gets to order us around when we all know why she’s here.”

And, oh, does that make your stomach turn. You were many things, but you were not one to abuse a position like that. They knew nothing of your struggles, or your relationships, or –

“Fuckin’ cocksuckers,” Soap grumbles, and that shocks you. For a man in the military to recognise misogyny like that was, really, unheard of.

You ignore that thought.

“Shut up.”

He does.

The two Shadows continue walking down the street, and you quickly peer out of the front window to watch them head down another sidealley, taking their thoughts with them.

“Come on,” is all you say, and Johnny follows tightly behind you as you continue down the way you were heading.

You find an alleyway to your left, and you decide to follow it. You can see a flashlight scanning over the street further down. Shadows were everywhere, but they were pushing forward like a tsunami over a coastal town, leaving nothing but destruction in their wake.

Soap follows you without question, which is odd, but you’re not about to complain.

“Ghost says that there’s underground tunnels – we can get to the church through ‘em,” Soap murmurs as he taps your shoulder. You nod, not looking back as you search for any telling of where the best route would be.

After a few minutes, the two of you find yourselves nearing the tunnels Ghost had spoken about.

It’s when you’re about to head into the deep end – quite literally, considering the flooding – that an all too familiar and bone-chilling voice yells out from the right of you both, down another street.

“She’s gone dark – you will find her alive, and if she’s dead, you will be too!” Graves roars, and your heart skips a beat. “She could be hurt, or captured – she is your top priority now, Shadows!”

There’s a chorus of agreement, and if you look down, you’re almost certain that you’ll find your stomach laying at your feet.

A greedy, greedy man. That was what Phillip Graves was – now, more than ever.

If you were a weaker woman, a civilian, maybe, instead of a seasoned soldier, you’d have vomited by now.

Instead, you shoot Soap a look.

“Ghost still at the church?” Is all you ask.

Soap nods. “Yeah. Lt’s talkin’ my ear off,” he says with an eye roll, but his lips quirk into a half-tilted grin more resemblant of a satisfied pup.

“Didn’t think the 141 was so close,” you reply, and you could slap yourself for how nosy you sound. You’re not, not in the slightest – all you cared about was surviving both Graves and them.

Soap’s eyes hold an indecipherable gleam to them when he responds, a touch domestically, “You have no idea.”

You itch to delve deeper, to unpack that statement that seems to hold so many layers, but you keep your mouth respectfully shut.

And you prepare to meet Ghost at the end of the tunnel.

a/n. cutely drops this and hides!! jk but umm idk man this fic idea has been nibbling at my brain and GAWDDD smth about it just. got the juices flowing. this is my personality now thanks gn. if you guys enjoyed please comment or reblog or follow!! ty so very muchly ily all <3

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stargirlrchive · 10 months

Text

ROOMMATE!SIMON

cw: simon riley x fem!reader, toxic simon, cunnilingus, fingering, he’s an ass :((( (i want him), jealous simon

one - two - three - four

it had been a few weeks since simon had made you come on his fingers, and he had neglected you. purposely avoiding to touch you, knowing that it would cause your desperation for him to grow.

and it was working.

the way your eyes would light up when he finally got home, or the way your hands greedily trailed over his skin when you’d get close enough to touch him.

he went as far as getting home later than normal, just to grunt out that he was going out again, “just back home for a shower, don’t wait up.”

but you did, or tried to anyway. he always found you curled up on the couch, wearing his hoodie and deep asleep by the time he got home.

however, his resolve almost broke last night. you were sitting up on the couch, barely awake but you perked up at the sound of the door swinging open. wearing your brightest smile for him.

but it was instantly wiped away as your eyes met his, his fingers digging into a strangers hips as he held your gaze while he kissed her.

he kicked the front door closed with his foot as he guided her towards his bedroom. and the look of utter devastation in your eyes as he shut his bedroom door behind him made him shudder. guilt webbing into his heart as he heard your hurried footsteps rush to your bedroom and close the door.

he wasn’t being fair to you, and he knew it. but simon was in this for the long haul. and if he needed to pull away for a bit to show you what you’d be missing, then so be it. it would be worth in the end.

that’s what he kept telling himself at least. he’s doing this for you, after all.

that plan came crashing down the very next day. when he pushed open his front door, ready to finally indulge you in affection, but he heard the sound of your laugh.

whispered words mixed with your soft giggles coming from the kitchen and his brows pinched together. who the hell were you talking to?

he kept his steps light, purposely being careful to keep quiet. but white hot rage blinded him for a second as he found you caged between the kitchen island and some man.

“who’s this?”

a soft yelp left your mouth at the boom of simon’s voice, jumping softly as you turned to look at him.

simon’s eyes narrowed into a nasty glare as your companion tightened his arms around you as if trying to protect you from him. he could’ve ripped his jugular out that very second.

your face grew flustered as you blinked up at him, and gently pushed the man away from you, “you’re home early.”

his eyes finally flicked up at yours and you shivered at the icy rage behind them. “tell him to leave.”

“simon-”

he growled out, “now.”

your fingers wrapped around the man’s wrist and you guided him out of the kitchen. he could hear you apologizing softly and then the soft click of the front door.

you shuffled over nervously to stand in front of him, squirming under his gaze, “i thought you were going to get home late again.”

“and that makes it okay for you to have strangers over?”

“he’s not a stranger, simon. he’s my coworker.”

“he’s a stranger to me.”

you frowned up at him, crossing your arms over your chest defensively and simon’s cock stirred. you had never been so defiant with him and he could feel his cock hardening.

“you brought over that girl last night, why can’t i have someone over too?”

“that’s different.”

“how so?”

“because it is.”

he could see your frustration bubbling and everything in him was screaming to soothe you. this was not part of the plan.

he was supposed to find you waiting on the couch, wearing his hoodie and happy to see him. and he’d apologize for neglecting you with his face between your thighs.

“you’re being mean to me.”

the sniffle you let out had his knees buckling, moving towards you before he wrapped you up in his arms.

your face tucking into his neck as he pulled you closer, petting your hair as he apologized quietly.

“just don’t know what i did to make you be mad at me and ignore me-”

your tears were hot as they ran down your face, wetting the fabric of his shirt. guilt consumed him as he pressed a kiss to your temple, pulling you closer.

“m’not mad at you, baby-”

“yes you are! been wanting you to look at me, and touch me-and ever since that night you’ve been avoiding me.”

and simon would’ve been angry with himself for making you so upset if those words hadn’t tumbled out of your mouth.

you wanted him to touch you, you wanted him.

it had worked.

“you’ve been missing me, sweet girl?”

you sniffled again, fingers fisting at his shirt as you nodded, “so much.”

simon’s fingers tangled into your hair, gently tugging as he pulled your face from his neck. your tears falling freely had his heart thumping wildly, leaning forward to press a kiss to your mouth.

you sucked in a breath and kissed him back instantly, gripping his shirt tighter as you leaned in even closer.

his tongue swiped against your bottom lip before prying its way into your mouth. his tongue rolling against yours as his fingers dug gently into your hips.

and the desire began to pool between your thighs, a soft whine falling from your lips when he pulled away.

“i’m gonna take care of you, love. gonna make up for leaving you lonely.”

and simon doesn’t miss the way your thighs clench, scooping you up and placing you on the island. letting his hand slip into the waistband of your pants to press his fingers against your clit.

a broken moan left your mouth as you gripped onto the counter, your thighs trying to close but being unable to because simon had placed himself between your legs.

“poor baby. barely started touching you and you’re already soaked.”

you could feel your skin prickle with heat out of pure embarrassment, “s’your fault. left me all alone.”

and he laughed, one that had his shoulders shake before he slipped his hand out. pinching the side of your bottom and then tugging down your pants.

your hips rose to aid him, letting him shimmy you out of the material that separated you two.

“i know, princess. i’m sorry, needed you to realize just how much you needed me.”

your brows pinched as if you were confused, but simon was laying you down against the cold surface, his mouth licking at your pussy over the fabric of your underwear and that thought flew out the window.

“course i need you, si’.”

and he moaned, sucking on your puffy clit as if to reward you. your legs trembled as you tangled your fingers through his short hair, crying out softly when he rolled his tongue against the swollen nub.

you jumped lightly at the snap of fabric, your panties ripped off of you, “simon-”

his nose pushed against your clit as his tongue lapped around your folds, grunting softly as he pushed your legs up towards your chest.

his tongue circled back up towards your clit before he sucked, your body tensed as your hips bucked upwards.

“fuck-”

and when he pulled away, you whined in protest. his mouth kissing and nipping at your thighs, “were you going to let him fuck you?”

“what?”

he bit down onto your skin, your body jolting.

“you heard me.”

you had, you just couldn’t believe he was asking that with his face between your thighs.

you hesitated, frowning softly before you shook your head ‘no.’

“good girl.”

his mouth was on you once again, circling your entrance with the tip of his tongue before pushing in. delivering shallow thrust into you.

your body thrashed under his, groaning out in frustration. you wanted more, needed more.

“need more, si’. please.”

he replaced his tongue with his finger, only giving you a few seconds to adjust before slipping in a second. his eyes fixated on how easily they slipped in.

“this what you wanted?”

you whined, shaking your head, “no, want your cock.”

a grunt left his mouth, pumping his fingers in and out of you quickly as you squealed in pleasure.

“not yet, baby. gotta work you up to it.”

his lips sealed around your clit, sucking harshly as he fucked his fingers deep inside of you. your back arched off the counter, hips undulating against his mouth as a sob ripped from your mouth.

he was too good. consuming every part of you and you both knew it.

he lapped at your clit; sucking and rolling his tongue once more before his fingers curled. rutting against the spot inside of you that had your bones turning into liquid pleasure.

“simon, gonna come!”

his name tumbling out of your mouth like a prayer as you came. his fingers relaxing in speed, but still pumping into you, providing gentle sucks to your swollen clit as he aided you through your orgasm.

“good fuckin’ girl.”

your mind was in a daze. body lax and plaint against the counter as you buzzed with excitement over his praise.

you sat up, trembling softly from the aftermath of your release. with shaky fingers you went to undo his belt. simon’s cock was hard, and your mouth watered in anticipation.

but your excitement was short lived, he caught your wrist and pulled them away, stopping you from undressing him.

“but-”

he cut you off with a kiss, a lazy smirk on his face as he gripped onto your hips to pull you closer.

“not yet, sweet girl.”

and you would’ve whined in protest had his fingers not slipped between your thighs once more.

#simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x reader smut #simon riley x female reader #call of duty #cod #cod smut #call of duty smut

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euthymiya · 4 months

Text

the fontainian weather forecast ft. neuvillette

in which your boyfriend is excited to share his newest hobby with you—but it doesn’t go according to plan. unfortunately, the poor people of fontaine must pay the price through the treacherously rainy weather until you do something about it

contains: gender neutral reader ; takes place during lantern rite after neuvillette visits qiaoying village ; ceramics master neuvi bc he’s a cutie ; sad neuvi :( and mentions of his status as hydro dragon and influence over the rain ; fluff ; established relationship ; reader is a bit of tease but it’s cute i swear

in fontaine, there is no such thing as a light drizzle. when it rains, it pours.

like the gods almighty during the war, the rains pelts down in harsh blows angrily, fiercely, so unforgiving. but unlike the gods during the war, the reason behind the rain is a much gentler source. one you know exceedingly well, like the back of your hand and the lines of your palm.

neuvillette is sad again—you sigh fondly at the thought as you approach his door, knocking once, twice, then a final time before you call, “neuvillette? may i come in?”

“of course,” comes a quiet, croaked out reply. his voice is much too evidently strained. enough so, that you cautiously open the door just enough to slip in, but not enough to allow any possible wandering eyes outside his office to catch a glimpse of his potentially crestfallen face.

and, sure enough, he looks undoubtedly devastated.

“it’s pouring, my love,” you hum, closing the distance between the two of you as you walk across the room, instantly reaching to cup his face with both hands, “look at me, i’m drenched. is that anyway to welcome me when i’ve come looking my best to see you?”

you inspect his face, noting the downturned lips that present the most heartbreaking frown, and the helplessly miserable eyes that look up at you as he lets out a soft breath and leans into your touch.

“i’m sorry, my dear,” he mumbles, his own hands curling around your hips as he pulls you forward. not many people would imagine the iudex as one to be so emotional, let alone pull you close enough to slump against your figure and press his cheek into your shirt.

your fingers smooth through his hair, stroking the locks gently as he inhales your scent and sighs. “and what would the cause be of my little hydro dragon’s woes? surely, the sunny day just moments ago wasn’t my mind deceiving me of your good spirits.”

“well, i was quite looking forward to seeing you,” he says quietly, arms wrapped around your waist as he hugs your form against him, “your visit has been much anticipated all day.”

“i see,” you nod, “so then you must’ve changed your mind, hm? dreading seeing me, is that it?”

“of course not,” he pulls away, frowning as he looks up at you with a troubled look on his face, “there is not one moment i don’t desire to be in your presence. i mean it.”

you giggle, pinching his cheek as he looks at you slightly confused. sometimes, you think the most endearing quality that he possesses is his lack of awareness regarding human customs. affection is new territory, as is the practice of courting—but your favorite part is his frequent ability to miss every bantering joke you make. his innocence makes your heart sweet double the size.

you look at him with an amused grin as you tease, “i’m most relieved to hear that, monsieur. now tell me what’s on your mind.”

he relaxes a bit at the title. as bad as he might be with the ever complicated social cues that humans seem to endlessly create, neuvillette has mastered the art of understanding you. by now, he’s very familiar with the fact that monsieur is only a title you use when you’re being playful.

“i’m afraid a rather…unexpected turn of events has declined my mood for the day,” he mumbles, staring up at you with a slight curl to his lips. you fight the urge to poke them with your finger as you hum and gently trace along the horns on his head with a delicate touch, encouraging him to continue.

“and what might that be, darling?”

“i made a gift for you,” he explains, letting out a sad, disappointed sigh before he continues, “it was during my trip to qiaoying village.”

“you mean your trip that lasted half a day? honestly, neuvillette, surely you must be out of your mind. who takes a trip for less than a full day?”

“i still have many responsibilities for the day,” he insists, “but i had the time to stop at a stall that offered tourists the chance to try their hand at the ceramic arts.”

“well,” you raise a brow, “did you give it a go?”

“i did. it was most enjoyable—i intended to gift you my creation.”

“well, what’s stopping you, silly? i’m sure it’s lovely.”

for a moment, you wonder if his spirits have been dampened by lingering doubts of whether or not you’ll like his gift. you think it’s absurd—you’ll love anything from him, but your question seems to add to his low mood when the rain hits the glass of his window harder, making you quickly glance outside at the worsening weather.

for a fleeting moment, you heart goes out to the poor, unsuspecting victims that walk the streets of fontaine without an umbrella—they must be soaked to the bone with the intensity of the current rain.

“i thought so too,” he says woefully, looking up at you with such dejected eyes, you pout at him and lean down, kissing his lips softly in reassurance.

“then what seems to be the issue? with your mood, you’ll wash the streets empty of any people left at this rate, sweetheart.”

he pulls away from you, slowly opening the drawer of his desk and taking out what looks like two ceramic pieces. you catch a glance of a few different hues of blue, smiling to yourself as you note how the colors will certainly remind you of a certain man you happen to love any time you use his gift.

that is, until you realize the pressing issue.

the gift, which you realize is now a ladle, is broken into two pieces, cracked down the middle of what would have been a very precious dragon shaped ceramic.

neuvillette stares down at the pieces in sorrow as he murmurs, “i’ve regretfully had a moment of clumsiness and knocked it off my desk with my elbow. it’s broken now.”

“oh, honey,” you huff out a quiet chuckle, hands cradling the sides of his face as you turn him to meet your gaze, “is that what’s made you upset? this unfortunate little accident?”

“yes,” he averts his gaze back to the pieces in his hands, pressing them together to fit where they’ve cracked so you can both see what it once was. “i was rather eager to present it to you.”

“such precious sentiments,” you smile, leaning down and peppering kisses along his cheeks, trailing down and focusing extra attention to the corners of his mouth until they seem to uncurl just a little and lift. “i’m flattered you’d think of me during your trip to bring me back something.”

“i always think of you,” he whispers against your mouth, smiling slightly when you peck his lips with a sweet grin of your own. you’re not sure if you’re imagining it, but the rain pounding against the window almost seems to ease a little.

“do you now? then i must be the luckiest citizen in all of fontaine.”

“i only wish you could’ve seen it in its proper glory. i quite enjoyed the art of making it.”

“then perhaps we can visit the stall together when you next have the time. you can show me your new hobby while you make me another—we’ll be extra careful bringing it back.”

“really?” he pulls back slightly, looking up at you with significantly brighter eyes as you stifle a chuckle and nod, “you’d like to try it with me?”

“of course, you silly thing,” you trace his cheek with your thumb, smoothing the pad of your finger against the soft, warm swell of his skin as he relaxes into your touch. “although, this time, perhaps you’ll grant yourself at least a full day of your time to spend properly with me.”

“i will prepare to work my duties ahead of time to account for such a trip immediately,” he nods, a charming, dazzling little smile tugging at his lips as his hand clasps the back of yours, keeping your palm in place against his cheek.

the rain has stopped, you note—and really, you think the people of this nation owe you their sincerest gratitude. you’re almost certain your ability to keep a happy dragon has saved them from a number of devastating floods.

it’s not hard work, though. neuvillette is far too easy to keep happy and content in your presence.

“you really don’t need to,” you sigh wearily, “a break is certainly not the end of the world. but regardless, i look forward to it.”

you lean close once more, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead—the rays of sun through the window are bright and warm almost as soon as your lips meet his skin, earning a light snort from you as you eye the glass in amusement.

“feeling better?” you tease.

this time, he isn’t so ignorant to your playfulness as he flushes, looking away while he clears his throat and chuckling as he replies, “ah…yes, i suppose i am feeling much better indeed.”

bonus:

you can feel the rhythmic rise and fall of neuvillette’s chest under your cheek, counting his breaths in your head as you lightly trace shapes into his skin. it’s quiet, in your shared bedroom, the slow beginnings of tiredness pulling you into a sleepy, half conscious state.

he breaks the silence before you can fully make the transition to slumber, however.

“while we’re on our trip,” he murmurs, voice clear with excitement as he continues, “i’ll have to take you to taste the local spring water. it’s much purer in flavor when fresh from the source.”

you blink, registering his words for a moment before huffing out an amused, breathy laugh.

“i take it you tried it during your stop?”

“of course,” he confirms, arms pulling your closer as he relaxes deeper into the sheets, “it was a lovely experience.”

“wonderful. i simply cannot wait to be a water connoisseur with you, my love.”

he hums happily, entirely missing the playful bite behind your words as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

you think fontaine is due for quite a few sunny days back to back, thanks to your valiant and tireless efforts.

this is so silly and random lols i just thought neuvi was so cute during that ladle exchange and i think about it often but of course i had to taint it with some reverse comfort because thats what i do best LOL

#writing tag #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #neuvillette fluff #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact fluff

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d1xonss · 3 months

Text

Fuck it, I love you

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader

✧ Era : Season 11

✧ Pronouns : she/her

✧ Genre : ⚠️ Smut (18+) / Angst

✧ Word Count : 7.8k

AN ~ This request was sent in by @daryladdixon, thank you again for the idea! I’m so sorry it took me so long to write, I’ve been having a lot of things going on in my personal life. But it’s finally finished! I really tried my best with this one and I hope you like how it ended up turning out!

(ps- I really want to make some new friends on here, so please dm me if you want to chat! xoxox)

You had been through a lot together. Ever since Atlanta. It was a long time if you really thought about it; years and years of having all kinds of different shit thrown at you. But surprisingly, the two of you made it side by side, the trauma you both endured only bringing you closer together.

Though now as you stood there, screaming and arguing back and forth with each other as a few of your people were in danger, you couldn’t help but wonder how the hell you got here.

When the Commonwealth appeared seemingly out of nowhere with open arms for new people, you couldn’t help but be weary of it. You never trusted them, not really. It was like a dream, something that was too good to be true as they seemed to offer quite a lot, but that only made you more cautious. And the events that followed only proved how right your instincts truly were. So, when the time came, you quickly jumped back on the opportunity to leave and go back to live in Alexandria, knowing that place would always truly be your home. You didn’t even have to think twice on the decision.

However, when you heard that Daryl would be staying behind, wanting to continuously be a part of Judith and RJ’s lives, you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. You understood his need to be there for them, you would always understand that. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t miss him greatly when you finally pushed forward to move back with Aaron and Gabriel.

Although something that you didn’t expect, was Daryl’s slight resentment toward you.

When you told him the news about how you’d be leaving the Commonwealth, he was surprisingly taken aback and a little hurt. He even began to raise his voice at one point, not meaning to yell, but to try and show you how devastated he was that you wouldn’t be around. It wasn’t often that the communities visited each other anymore, not like they used to anyway. And that alone told him that he would hardly ever see you anymore.

He hated it, but his reaction to your leave drove a small wedge between the two of you. He was upset that you were leaving him, and you were upset about how he reacted, knowing that he of all people should have understood your reasoning the most. But that was the last time the two of you had spoken, the last time the two of you had even caught a glimpse of the other. And it truly had taken a toll on the both of you. Though you two were far too stubborn to admit it, the truth was you missed each other greatly.

Daryl felt almost empty without having you around. He would spend his free time with the kids, see Carol here and there, along with meeting with some of the other acquaintances he had grown closer to. But he dreaded coming home every day, knowing he would be stepping into an empty and oddly quiet house. It just wasn’t the same without you there. He even caught himself a few times glancing over toward the living room, expecting to see you curled up on the couch with your nose in a book. But there was nothing. Hell, even Dog missed you, tugging on Daryl’s heartstrings a bit as he noticed the canine always looking around the space like he was waiting for you to come home.

And back at Alexandria, you were no better than him. Though you had a lot of things to occupy yourself with, you were going through the same heartbreak he was as the two of you hadn’t been apart for this long in years. A part of you assumed that this would be the new normal. That the two of you now had your separate lives and you would just move on from each other, even though it was far from an easy thing to do. You could now grow as individuals and learn to not depend on one another as it seemed neither or you were ready to have the awkward discussion on how things were left. You could move on.

That is until you received quite the urgent message.

You were in the kitchen of your small home when you heard someone just burst through the front door, causing you to freeze at the sudden noise. “(Y/N)?!” you could hear Aaron’s frantic voice call out.

Immediately you sprung forward towards the front entrance of your home, looking at him with concerned eyes, “What? What’s going on?”

“It’s Lydia and Elijah.” he breathed, “Apparently they didn’t make it to Hilltop. It’s been way too long, they should’ve been there by now.”

Your stomach dropped as you processed the news, “How long have they been gone?”

“They left two days ago.”

That only caused your concern to grow, knowing in the back of your mind that there was no way they could’ve gotten lost or side tracked. Something was wrong, and all you were able to think about was how you would be able to find them. You remembered they took a car, picturing what it looked like in your head as you racked your brain for which route they could’ve taken to the community. The fact was however, you couldn’t track to save your life. Even from the small bits and pieces you had learned in the past, you knew it wouldn’t be enough to find them on your own.

But that’s when it hit you. The small things you had picked up on, you learned from only the best tracker in the world. And in the back of your mind, you knew there was no way to do this without his help.

Soon you found yourself racing towards the Commonwealth without a second thought, telling Aaron to cover for you at the infirmary whilst you were gone. The man asked you multiple times if you were sure, if you really wanted to be a part of this knowing how much they relied on you back at home. But you didn’t have to think twice, you didn’t want Daryl to have to take this responsibility on his own. Though you knew he would do it in a heartbeat for his people, it didn’t matter to you. They were your people too.

You made it into the Commonwealth in record time, the guards on watch allowing you inside the second they recognized who you were, watching your vehicle speed down the road as you left a cloud of dust behind. The area was quite busy today as everyone seemed to be out and about and enjoying the nice weather, feeling a slight shiver run through you as you suddenly remembered why you hated this place. Too many bad memories to even count as living here felt like the longest few weeks of your life.

The car made a screeching sound as you brought it to an abrupt halt, causing quite a few heads to turn upon your graceful entrance as you pulled the keys out of the ignition, stepping out of the car to find him. Though you froze about halfway out of the vehicle as finding him was apparently a lot easier than you thought it would be, seeing him standing off with Carol as the two of you locked eyes immediately. He wanted to say he was happy to see you, happy that you were still alive and healthy, having not seen you in what felt like forever. But the look on your face said it all.

The man didn’t hesitate as he grabbed his crossbow and strapped it across his shoulders, not even bidding Carol a goodbye as he jogged over to you, squeezing past a few people in his way. You instantly tensed a bit, almost as if to prepare yourself for what was to come as you watched him get closer and closer, not even knowing what to say to him. All that time you spent in the car you thought over the different things you wanted to say, the things you wanted him to know. But now as he was coming up to stand in front of you, your mind ran completely blank as you just stood there like an idiot.

He took you in for a moment as he slowed to a stop, trying to read your expression as he could clearly see you wanted to say something. But when all he received was silence, he didn’t hesitate to pull you into him, embracing you tightly as he instantly sighed upon feeling your touch again. Your eyes widened at his actions, clearly not expecting that after how things were left between the two of you. But that didn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around him in return, your eyes falling shut as you buried your head into his chest. It was an old habit you had done many times in the past, but you heard Daryl’s breath hitch as he felt your small but familiar action. One that he had never forgotten.

“You okay?” he asked softly into your hair, squeezing you a bit tighter.

You let out a soft breath as you shook your head, “I need you.” you whispered.

After that, he was all ears.

You filled him in on everything as he was the one to take the wheel, driving just as fast as you once were in an attempt to track down the car Lydia had previously taken out. He silently listened the whole time, nodding to show he was still paying attention as he rubbed a hand over his chin, processing your words. The two of you were very clearly trying not to panic, but when it came to the people you both cared about, it was harder to stay calm than you would think.

But then there was just silence. An awkward silence. Neither of you uttering a word after you told him everything he needed to know. You slightly fidgeted with your hands that sat in your lap as you tried not to look at him, your mind only seeming to focus on how weird things were between the two of you now. That, and you kept thinking back to the very last pleasant conversation you had with him right before you stormed out with a slam of the door. A part of you regretted flipping out on him like that, mostly because you knew the reason why he snapped at you in the first place. It was because he didn’t want you to leave, and all you could do in response to that, was to yell right back out of sadness.

But what you weren’t aware of was that he was thinking the exact same thing. Great minds think alike after all. There was no doubt in his mind that he regretted everything he said to you that day, not knowing that it would tear this big of a hole in your relationship. Though he did have a reason as to why he acted so poorly, and that was simply because the man was incredibly in love with you. And it frustrated him that you couldn’t see that, but it frustrated him even more that you left him like it was nothing.

You then cleared your throat to speak much to his surprise, “So…how’ve you been?”

He briefly glanced over at you, shrugging his shoulders with a huff, “Same old, same old.” he brushed off, a beat of silence passing before he bounced the question right back to you. “How’re you?”

“Good…” you nodded, “I’ve been good.”

His eyes glanced back over at you again, taking in your appearance, “Ya seem happy.”

A small smile made its way onto your lips, “I am happy.” you confirmed.

Though it was partially a lie. Sure, you were happy back at Alexandria, living in the familiar home that you had fallen in love with, spending your time at the infirmary helping people. But there was always something missing, and that something was him. You found you were never fully happy when he wasn’t around, no matter how great your life could’ve gotten.

“Ya still changin bed pans?” he asked, a slight teasing tone to his voice.

You rolled your eyes with a small scoff, “Yeah, I guess I am. You still babysitting?”

He chuckled softly with a nod, glancing over at you again as if he couldn’t stop looking at your face, “Guess I am…” he confirmed.

You hummed, “How are the little gremlins anyway?”

“They’re doin alright.” he nodded, “Judith’s made a couple new friends since Gracie moved back, and uh…RJ’s startin to wear that old busted hat now…passin the torch I suppose.” he paused for a moment, “...They ask bout ya a lot.” he added quietly.

You smiled a little at that, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” he nodded, “It’s hard for them to shut up bout ya. They’re always sayin shit like…bout the movie nights we used to have. Or how uh…you would do Jude’s makeup every once and a while. Believe me, I haven’t been a good replacement.”

A small laugh escaped you once he said that, not even wanting to imagine Daryl’s makeup skills as he didn’t have much of a steady hand as you did. “Didn’t work out too well?”

He shook his head, “Nah. M’ better at paintin her nails then paintin her whole damn face.”

You hummed as your eyes moved to glance at his hands, noticing the black chipped nail polish that still lingered on his fingers, “I can see she talked you into getting yours done.”

The man followed your line of sight, turning a bit red in embarrassment as he grumbled to himself, “Yeah…it’s hard to say no to her sometimes.”

“She just knows you're a big softie…you’d give a lot to make her happy.” you said with a small smirk.

He scoffed as he briefly glanced over at your face, “Whatever.” he mumbled.

You laughed softly to yourself before it went quiet again, only this time it was a lot more comfortable than before. With some of the tension out of the way, you felt like you could finally breathe properly, seeing as he was the exact same way you left him. It was almost as if no time had passed.

Though you couldn’t help the ping of sadness you felt as you thought over what he had told you, the kids missing your presence would never fail to break your heart. His words only brought the memories flooding back, thinking about how you once would nearly spend every waking moment together, like an actual family, and you loved every second of it. You now only wished everything hadn’t gotten so messed up, not knowing if things would be the same since your absence. If you were given the chance to redo that moment in time, you would do it in a heartbeat.

Daryl then glanced back over at you, seeing your mind wandering, his face forming into a bit of sympathy as he could only assume what you were thinking. He was never good with words, but a part of him wanted to reassure you somehow.

“I missed ya.” he mumbled quietly.

Your heart leapt a little in your chest as you heard his quiet words, looking back over at him to find that his gaze was already on you. You smiled sadly, reaching over to give his arm a squeeze. “I missed you too.”

He smiled back at you, fighting back a shiver as you reached out to place a gentle hand on his arm. It was a moment the both of you needed. And perhaps you weren’t the only one who needed the reassurance, seeing as he was visibly relaxing after your reciprocated words.

But it couldn’t last forever, no matter how much you wanted it to. The two of you sitting up a little straighter upon seeing the familiar car veered off to the side of the road, the front tires planted on the grass as if they had somehow crashed, yet there was no damage from what you could see.

Daryl immediately pulled off to the side, the car slowing to a stop before the two of you got out with your weapons in your grasp, approaching the vehicle with caution to peer through the slightly darkened windows. Though upon glancing inside, there was nothing. No bags, no weapons, nothing. Confusion with a mix of dread seemed to pool in your stomach as it was hard to tell how they disappeared, though you prayed you were wrong about what you originally assumed.

“Aye.” Daryl’s voice called out.

You glanced up at him from over the hood of the car, seeing him gesturing down to the ground in front of him for you to come and see. From your perspective, all you saw were a bunch of messed up and sloppy footprints that could’ve been there for days if you had to guess. But Daryl saw something much bigger. Though he didn’t want to scare you, he silently knew that there were a few strangers involved with their sudden disappearance, knowing he had to be careful on your next move.

“Our best bets that way.” he muttered as he nodded toward the treeline, not even waiting for you to respond before he started moving in that direction.

You tried to keep up with his long strides as he moved quickly through the woods, his eyes staying to the ground as he tried to pinpoint every direction they turned. It was honestly amazing to you how he could do this without hesitating or second guessing himself, he just knew where he was going as if he was following some kind of string that led straight to them. But in a way he was as you began to notice a pattern in the leaves and dirt.

Although you couldn’t help but notice that the closer the two of you got, the more rigid and tense he became as he stopped speaking to you entirely. He didn’t make a single sound as he walked, only occasionally glancing over his shoulder to make sure you were still following right behind him. The feeling in your stomach began to worsen as you quickly picked up on how much his body language seemed to change, as if he were screaming at you without saying a single word. You knew there was something he knew and you didn’t, but you couldn’t bring yourself to understand why he wasn’t telling you. You were in this together after all.

However, your silent thoughts were suddenly brought to a halt as you were too busy looking down at the ground to realize that Daryl had stopped, instantly running into his back with a small oof. But he hardly seemed to notice as his sole focus was on the small cabin in the distance that seemed to be completely abandoned. Though both of you knew better than to believe that.

“You stay right here.” Daryl’s voice commanded softly, removing his crossbow from his shoulders as he loaded a bolt into it.

Your eyes slightly widened at his suggestion, “I’m sorry?” you spoke in disbelief.

“Ya heard me, I said stay here.” he replied a little more harshly, “We dunno what’s waitin for us in there, alright? I’ll get em out.”

“I’m not just going to stand here while you throw yourself into the lion’s den, fuck that.” you replied with a scoff as you pulled out a weapon of your own.

He grumbled in slight annoyance, “Dammit (Y/N), ya ain’t comin with.”

“Like hell I’m not.” you quietly snapped, “We came out here together to find them, and now we’re going in there together to get them out.”

The man then got up into your face, as if trying to intimidate you enough so you’d stay behind like he asked, “M’ not messin around girl, I ain’t takin no for an answer.”

“Yeah, neither am I, jackass. You’re not going in there by yourself, that’s just stupid.”

His face contorted into obvious frustration and anger as he was clearly losing his patience, “Why the hell do ya have to be so goddamn stubborn all the time, huh? Why can’t you just listen for once?”

You huffed to yourself at the irony, “Well, I guess you can say I learned from the best.”

“Shut the hell up.” he snarled.

“I wanna know why,” you retorted, “Why won’t you let me go in there with you and back you up on this? You really think I can’t handle myself?”

He growled, “I never fuckin said that.”

“Then why?” you snapped, equally losing your patience just as much as he was. At this rate, whoever was in that cabin could probably hear the two of you arguing with one another with how loud your voices seemed to rise.

“Because.” he huffed.

“Why?!”

“Because I love ya too damn much ta lose ya in there! I just want ya safe!”

In an instant, the world went silent. The two of you were breathing a bit heavier from all the yelling, looking at each other with equally wide eyes. You were shocked that he said something so vulnerable, while he on the other hand was terrified that now he might’ve ruined what he had with you. It wasn’t an easy thing for him to come to terms with his feelings, but admitting them out loud felt like an entirely different ballpark. The man now just stood frozen, trying to anticipate your reaction as if he was expecting something negative.

But you surprised him.

“And I love you too damn much to let you do this by yourself.” you said, your voice now unexpectedly soft, “We’ve had each other’s backs for years…and this isn’t any different.”

Daryl stared at you with slightly wide eyes after you said that, not only because you refused to listen to him again, but because you said you loved him too. You loved him. He never in his wildest dreams ever thought it would be physically possible for you to love someone like him, but here you were, pouring your heart out just as he was. Neither of you had been very good about expressing how you felt for one another; there was never really a need for words as you both silently already knew. But now as everything was laid out on display, it was a new kind of uncomfortable that you both just wanted to crawl away from.

Though in the midst of all the tension, Daryl finally allowed you to come with him towards the cabin with a nod of his head, both of you preparing yourself for the sight you would see. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as you were expecting.

Both Lydia and Elijah were tied up on opposite ends of the small house, all of their supplies and weapons completely missing as they were left with nothing. Both of you were quick to untie them, taking them by the arms as they began to tell you that they were held at gunpoint by a few bandits, demanding that they give up all their things to them. And to make sure they wouldn’t follow, the bandits had apparently tied and locked them up inside for God only knows how long. You felt awful as you saw the minor injuries on them from the experience, but mostly you were just thankful that they were alive.

You spent the car ride back to Alexandria in the backseat of the vehicle, comforting Lydia as she leaned against you, telling you bit by bit of what she could remember. It was surely traumatizing for the both of them, and you wanted her to know that you were there to listen to whatever she needed to get off her chest. Even Elijah chimed in a one point once he was comfortable enough, needing to talk about the scary experience just as much as she did. But as for you and Daryl, neither of you uttered a word, not forgetting about the small moment you had just seconds before you found them.

The sun was beginning to set by the time the four of you made it back to the community, many people waiting in anticipation at the gates. But they were soon all filled with great relief as soon as they saw the two young adults step out of the car, receiving hugs and reassuring words the moment they realized you had brought them back safely. Though you were quick to usher the two of them back towards the infirmary when you got the chance, wanting to make sure the minor cuts and bruises would heal properly as you offered to clean them up before they went home for some much needed rest.

Occasionally you glanced out the window to see Daryl and Aaron still talking near the front gate, part of you wondering if he would just go home. Leave without uttering a word about the argument that happened between the two of you. Daryl tended to run from these kinds of things, you knew that better than anyone, but you couldn’t lie to yourself and say you wouldn’t be a little heartbroken if he did this time. You didn’t want him to go, not knowing the next time you would even see him. But another part of you didn’t even know what to say if he did decide to see you one last time.

Eventually once you were finished up you cleaned up the station you used, wishing Lydia and Elijah goodnight as you hugged both of them tightly. All was quiet in Alexandria as there were only a few stragglers left outside, the sun now finally nowhere to be found as you slowly made your way home. Though without even realizing, you subtly kept an eye out for Daryl. He could’ve asked to spend the night in one of the spare homes since it had gotten late, assuming he would want to leave in the morning. But then again maybe he just wanted to get out of here, go home to his own bed with Dog who was surely missing him by now.

But he didn’t even say goodbye.

Your chest felt a bit heavier at the thought, mindlessly walking into your darkened house as your mind continued to spiral at the events of today. Although you stopped completely in your tracks when you noticed the light illuminating your living room, swearing you hadn't forgotten to turn it off just earlier today. Hesitantly, you peered around the corner to see none other than Daryl sitting on the couch, seemingly lost in his own little world as he stared down at his hands. Though he sensed your presence almost immediately, his head snapping up as he quickly stood to his feet, feeling a bit awkward now realizing that he had just come into your house without your permission.

He then cleared his throat, “I uh…I didn’t wanna leave without sayin goodbye.”

You didn’t know why, but something seemed to snap inside you once he said that. Knowing that he was just going to run right back to the Commonwealth without a second thought. “Really? You’re going to rush back there tonight? Just like that?”

He gave you a look, “Don’t…don’t do that.”

You scoffed with a shake of your head, “Don’t do what? I’m just calling it like it is. I don’t see you for months, and this is how you want to leave things between us? With some pathetic goodbye, not knowing the next time we’ll see each other again?”

“Hey, you got no right sayin that shit to me.” he said with a slight raise of his voice, “Yer the one who left, remember? Not me.”

You laughed bitterly, “You can’t blame me for that. I was miserable there, and I know you were too! And yet you’re still living there day after day-”

“M’ stayin there because of those kids!” he cut you off, “You know damn well how important they are to me, so yeah, I’ll be miserable if it means I can still be there for em. I ain’t gonna just leave em there.”

“I’m not asking you to leave them Daryl! I know how important they are to you, you practically raised them. But that doesn’t mean you get to just shut me out of your life completely. You give me this whole sob story in the car about how much they miss me, and you miss me, but if I recall, I haven’t seen you put in an effort to visit me once!”

“Oh you gotta lot of damn nerve sayin that to me.” he spoke with an edge to his tone, both of you getting more worked up with each comment you spat at each other. “You only came back because you needed my help, like m’ yer fuckin errand boy or some shit!”

You let out a sound of disbelief as you point towards him, “Don’t you dare go there! You’re no better than I am, and you know it. You would’ve never stepped foot back here unless there was some kind of emergency.” you spat, “You never made an effort, not even once! And after everything you said to me…”

A certain fire ignited behind his eyes once you said that, “How the hell else you expect me to react when yer tellin me yer leavin, huh?! What am I supposed to do with that?!”

“Be supportive!” you yelled, “Be happy that I’m finally going back to doing what I love! That’s what you do!”

“Why’re we fighting again?!” he suddenly questioned in frustration.

“I don’t know!”

It had been nothing but back and forth between you two since the moment you saw each other, battling with your own overpowering feelings. It was weird to think about how you never used to be like this, you never so much as argued playfully in the past, and yet now here you are at each other's throats. The silence had never been so loud in the small dimly lit house, waiting for someone to make some kind of move.

But then suddenly, Daryl seemed to make up his mind as he stepped forward. He didn’t want things to end with you like this, the last thing he wanted was to see you upset. And the urge to just finally allow his feelings to unleash was getting more and more overwhelming, needing you to know how he really felt.

He approached you in record speed, not even giving you any time to react before he gently cupped your face, capturing your lips with his. Your eyes widened at how fast everything seemed to happen, quickly pushing his shoulders to get him off of you. He instantly backed away when he sensed your discomfort, now looking like a deer in headlights as he came to the realization that he made a huge mistake.

“I…m’ sorry, I didn’t-”

“No,” you cut him off, “I don’t want you to kiss me, just to make all of this magically go away. I want you to kiss me, because…because it actually means something to you.” you breathed.

His eyes softened as it clicked in his mind what you were trying to say. You didn’t push him away because you didn’t want it to happen; you pushed him away because you were scared it was completely meaningless to him. But that wasn’t true. It wasn’t true at all.

Daryl slowly stepped closer to you again, hesitating slightly before pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to your forehead, “It means everythin…” he whispered against your skin.

That was a fantastic answer.

The moment you heard his confirmation, you leaned up to kiss him passionately, your arms looping around his neck as you pulled him into you. He took a moment to recover from your movements, but soon he found he was kissing you back with just as much eagerness, gripping your hips tightly. His mind went hazy as he was on cloud nine, almost not believing this was really happening. He had pictured this moment in his mind a hundred times before, but truly nothing could have prepared him for the utter bliss he was about to experience.

The two of you quickly grew more desperate for each other as the gentle kiss turned into something much greater, your tongues now fighting for dominance as you let out soft sounds of approval and desperation. Without even thinking, the two of you inched closer toward your bedroom on the main level, already clawing desperately at the fabric of your clothes.

Your knees eventually hit the back of the bed, causing you to stumble a little as you fell back onto the mattress, pulling him on top of you as you didn’t want your lips to part for even a second. Daryl could already feel the fire building in his stomach, the strong urge spreading throughout his body as he began to crave you. His hands moved everywhere he could reach, as if he wanted to memorize every inch of your body, every dip and curve was some kind of uncharted territory.

You then felt him pull back slightly to break the heated kiss, needing to taste more of you as he left hot, open mouthed kisses across your jawline, making his way down at an incredibly slow pace. A whimper was pulled from your lips as his teeth grazed your skin, gently nipping at your flesh to leave a trail of love bites to your exposed neck. The stubble on his face that scratched against your skin somehow made it even better, tickling you slightly as it sent a shiver up your spine.

Daryl smirked to himself as he felt your muscles twitch, moving his mouth to drag his tongue along your chest, before he lowered his head even more to slightly lift your shirt, kissing along your stomach. Your hands grasped the hem of your shirt as soon as he pulled it up, easily tugging it up and over your head to toss it carelessly somewhere on the floor. He groaned as his eyes scanned over your new exposed skin, feeling you sit up slightly to unhook the back of your bra, before shrugging it off just as fast.

His lips parted, his eyes hazy and filled with lust as his hands came up to brush across the sides of your breasts, “God, you drive me crazy…” he muttered under his breath.

You couldn’t help but smile up at him, leaning in to kiss him again as his hand moved to gently massage your breasts, squeezing them with the perfect amount of pressure. You gasped softly as he rolled your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, easily getting a rise out of you as your back slightly arched in response. He could feel your chest rising and falling rapidly beneath him, your impatience growing as you could feel your arousal pooling against the fabric of your underwear. Your hands then moved up to blindly undo the buttons on his shirt, your nimble fingers struggling a bit as you tried to keep up with his sloppy kiss.

He then grunted at your attempts, breaking away from you momentarily to rip his shirt off his chest. Quite literally. Your eyes widened as the buttons flew everywhere, the navy blue top now looking more like a piece of a fabric sample than an actual shirt.

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly as your hands reached out to feel his toned chest, “Hm…I wish you had another shirt just so I could watch you do that again.”

He smirked, “Don’t worry...I got plenty of other ways to put on a show for ya.” he spoke before he gave you a wink, his hands reaching down to tug on your jeans.

Your excitement grew as you sat up on your elbows, watching as he swiftly undid the button and the zipper of your pants before pulling them clean off your legs in one swift motion. He seemed to be very efficient, that's for damn sure. Though a wicked grin crossed the man’s face when he saw the small wet patch on your thong, his thumb teasingly running over your clothed core. You sucked in a soft breath as he gently pushed on your clit, your head rolling back and your toes curling at the shockwave sensation.

“This all for me? Hm?” he practically purred, his southern drawl bringing goosebumps to your skin as his thumb continued to tease you.

Your hands gripped the sheets beside you as you nodded your head with a small “mhm”, silently begging him to keep going.

He seemed quite pleased as his lip quirked up in a smile, “Mm that’s my girl.” he muttered softly as he placed a few lingering kisses on your stomach, his words causing you to spiral. You never thought he would say that to you, hell you never even thought you wanted him to say that to you. But now that he had, you never wanted him to stop.

His mouth then hovered over the elastic of your underwear, his teeth moving down to bite at it before he tugged the piece of fabric off of you using only his mouth. Well if you weren’t turned on before, you sure as hell were now.

Daryl then couldn’t wait any longer as the sight of you bare beneath him was beginning to be too much, his movements frantic as his belt jingled when he began to unbuckle it. Your eyes watched his every move as he tugged his pants and boxers off in record speed, kicking them off of his ankles to see he was already throbbing for you. The sight was enough to make you whine quietly, squirming in anticipation as his large frame hovered over you.

But although he was practically drooling to finally please you the way you deserved, he still couldn’t help but tease you a bit. And maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed torturing himself a bit as well. He dragged his tip through your soaking wet folds, the friction being enough for your hips to rock up in a sudden jolt. The sounds coming out of you were utterly sinful, and he loved it. Your hands again gripped the sheets below you, fidgeting relentlessly as he continued to tease your entrance, occasionally circling your clit which caused you to moan.

“Ah!” you cried softly as he barely pushed inside you, before pulling himself out just as quickly, “Please...” you whispered breathlessly.

He groaned lowly as he saw you practically falling apart for him already, leaning down to place a few kisses along your cheek, “Use your words, baby. Tell me what you want.”

“You.” you said instantly, “I want you…”

He smirked to himself, “I want you too sweetheart.” he kissed along your neck as he muttered those few words into your skin, “So much…”

The excruciating wait was finally gone in what seemed like a split second, not being able to hold back any longer as Daryl finally pushed himself into you. Your mouth dropped as your head fell back onto the bed, hearing him let out an exaggerated groan as he felt your tight walls already clenching around him.

“God…you feel like heaven sweet girl.” he mumbled as he fought to catch his breath, his mind swirling with ecstasy as he was completely drunk off of you. He couldn’t wrap his head around it, how you felt so perfect as if you were made for him.

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, squeezing your legs around his waist, “Keep going...” you practically begged, physically needing him to move.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He slowly began to pound into you at a steady pace, watching your facial expressions to try and find what felt the best for you. You moaned sensually as his hips began to slap against yours, feeling the length of him moving in and out at a steady pace. Your hands then moved to trace up his bare arms, feeling his muscles flex underneath your featherlight touch as they landed on his shoulders, needing to feel more of him.

His breaths grew heavier as they came out in short pants, gradually speeding up, completely enamored with how your breasts bounced with each thrust he gave. Your hands began gripping his shoulders a bit tighter as your eyes squeezed shut, whimpering as you could already feel your orgasm begin to pool in your belly. How he was able to do that with little to no actions at all, you had no idea. But you didn’t care. It was like all the longing the two of you had felt for each other was just spilling out all at one time as you finally gave into your desires.

“Faster.” you panted, “Please.”

Your words spurred him on as he instantly began to pound harsher into you, the bed frame squeaking against the wall as his movements were quick and sharp. The pornographic sounds easily slipped from your lips as you felt him rock even deeper inside of you, causing your nails to scratch and grip against his skin. He groaned deeply as he felt your hands digging into him, only urging him on more as he rolled his hips whilst thrusting into you, a sharp gasp escaping you as he tickled that sweet spot so perfectly.

He liked that sound. He liked it a lot; rolling his hips against yours again and again in order to pull more of those beautiful sounds out of you.

You cried out blissfully as you felt yourself clench against him, the familiar tingling sensation vibrating through you as your legs squeezed around his waist to keep him locked in place. He felt a bead of sweat pool down his face as he groaned, leaning down to gently nip at your collarbone, hearing your moans of pleasure right next to his ear. He could tell you were getting close, feeling himself following right along with you, but a part of him wanted to be at your mercy. A part of him wanted to see you riding out your high on top of him, needing to snap a mental image of the most perfect thing he could ever lay his eyes on.

You were taken off guard as he suddenly slowed his movements, flipping you over so you were straddling his hips as he laid flat on his back. Your dazed and confused look made him want to chuckle, but he didn't. Instead, he spoke.

“Use me however you want…” he panted as he continued to gently thrust himself into you, “I’m yours, baby…completely yours.” he said softly, wanting you to be in control of him.

Though you didn't expect the sudden change of events, his words surprised you, and it turned you on. More than you were ever willing to admit.

After the initial shock wore off within merely seconds, you didn’t hesitate as you began to bounce on top of him, the new angle making your legs shake wildly. His big hands held your hips perfectly in pace as he matched your rhythm, silently thankful that you lived alone as the volume in the room was growing louder with each passing second. You watched as he threw his head back with a soft whine, keeping his eyes on you the whole time as you slowly started to find your release.

“That’s it sweetheart…that’s it.” he spoke soothingly as he leaned up to place wet kisses across your stomach, his thumb finding its way to toy with your clit to send you over the edge.

You cried out loudly as that was all you needed to come undone, your muscles twitching as you rode it out as long as you possibly could. Feeling you clench around him mixed with the lustful sounds that came out of you was all Daryl could take before he reached his own climax, swiftly pulling out of you as he groaned lowly against your skin.

You didn’t know how much time passed as the two of you were in a complete state of bliss, trying to come down from the incredible high you just experienced. You felt his hands trace soothing circles against your hips as his face was now buried in your breasts, feeling the heat of his breath dancing against your bare skin. A content sigh left your lips as you found yourself wondering why it had taken you two so long to do this. But then again you assumed it was never the right time, and in your opinion it was worth the wait. You couldn’t think of anything more perfect than this.

Daryl then began to come to his senses as his heart finally slowed down to a steady pace, his lips beginning to trail up towards your collarbone lovingly. Your fingers ran through his messy, tangled hair, growing a bit sad as you looked down at him, reality coming back to remind you that this couldn’t last forever. But a selfish part of you wanted it to.

“Don’t go.” you whispered.

He looked up from what he was doing, seeing the slightly distraught look on your face that instantly made his lips morph into a frown, “What’re you talkin bout?”

You shook your head, “Stay…stay here with me. Don’t go.”

His eyes softened as he raised his hands to gently cup your face, “Hey, I ain’t goin anywhere sweetheart. M’ stayin right here.”

“But…what about Judith? RJ? I can’t…I don’t want to make you choose.” you said softly, fearing that in the back of your mind, things would just go back to how they were. Regardless of the passion you shared.

He smiled softly, “Baby, you ain’t makin me choose. We’ll figure somethin else out together, alright? Because I do know one thing…I sure as hell don’t want us to be apart like that ever again.”

You slowly nodded your head in agreement, “I don’t want that either…you have no idea how much I missed you. Leaving you was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.”

“It ain’t gonna happen again. I promise.” he said before leaning in to gently kiss your lips.

You didn’t know how, but his words mixed with the gentle kiss seemed to slowly melt your worries away as you couldn’t think about anything else but him. In the end you knew it would work itself out, feeling more content in this moment with him than you had felt in a very long time. Daryl made a mistake on letting you leave, his own frustration stopping him from preventing you from walking out that door, telling you how much you meant to him. Though he couldn’t change the past, and all those long months you missed out on with each other, he sure as hell could plan for the future.

And he was never planning on letting you go again.

~ Thanks for reading!

621 notes · View notes

imaginestuffs · 17 days

Text

phases- Tyler Owens x F!Reader

Word count:3,721

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

Summary: Reader thinks over moments in her relationship with Tyler. All the good, and of course the bad.

A/N: I don't usually put an author's note, but I thought I should this time. This isn't my best writing honestly. I wrote this on my phone on a long drive. It all just kind of spilled out of my brain, and I liked it, but it's kind of all over the place. So, if you're willing to ignore some flaws, and bear with me I thank you!

(gif not mine)

You never knew what it meant to love and be loved; by the one person you had waited for your whole life.

The moment you met Tyler your life changed, your perspective was altered, so much so that you couldn't remember what it was before him.

Every shade of sky, every mood, you had experienced with him—frustration, fury, embarrassment, love, admiration, and best of all acceptance.

Through him, came your found family. The group of people you had the pride and honor of knowing and loving. Just being with them gave you a sense of freedom, respect for the unknown, and an acceptance of what's to come. No matter the difficulty you'd have them to pull you through.

Before you met Tyler, you feared the storms, it didn't matter how many you weathered. The chance they could take everything from you in seconds was terrifying to you.

He held you through the night. being your shelter for as many storms that made you tremble, and grip him tighter than you ever had.

---

Your fear of storms originated when you were a little girl. You could remember the sirens going off and having to hide in your basement. You weren't able to get outside in time to get to the shelter. So your father rushed you into the basement. it was completely dark as your father guided you to the pipes he knew were in the corner of the pitch-black room.

He instructed you to wrap your arms around them, and no matter what happened not to let go.

You weren’t sure how long you were down there. But every slam against the house rang in your ears. Each creak of the foundation caused a jolt of fear to course through you.

You could hear the raging wind decimating everything in its path. You knew that so much that you loved would be swept away. The town you grew up in would be devastated, it would never be the same.

When everything went completely still, no wind could be heard, and all things seemed to have stood still, your father gently pried your hands from the piping.

Your hands shook from how hard your grip was. Even now, they still shake during storms.

You hadn’t told Tyler about what happened when you were a little girl. Thinking that if a storm came you would cover up your fear. He had told you that he was a storm chaser but you hadn’t gone on any chases with him. So he was never around for storms.

But it seemed that wouldn’t be the case for this one. You saw the dark clouds looming in the distance and the air smelt of rain. You just knew there was no avoiding this. You’d just have to do your best to hide your fear.

Tyler walked into the kitchen and saw you looking out the window. He padded across the floor to wrap his arms around your waist.

You felt his arms twist around you and jumped. You heard Tyler chuckle and felt him press a kiss on your cheek.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” you heard the smile in his voice. You forced a soft giggle and placed your hand over his.

He could tell that something wasn’t right, there was no quip or witty response to him. You were tense, and he felt your hands shaking.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Tyler's breath warmed your cheek as he spoke to you.

Your heart began to race, “Nothing. I’m-uh-I’m just fine. Are you excited for the storm?” you turn in his arms to face him.

You reached your hands up to play with his hair and you felt the slightest bit of relief as he looked at you so softly. Yet you couldn’t stop the tremble in your hands. His hand moved a strand of hair from your face as he studied your behavior.

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?” his hand rested against your face and you leaned into his touch. You nodded at him, “I know Ty,” you assured him with a kiss on his palm.

The first clap of thunder sounded and you yelped, your hands covered your face and you slightly shook. The sky sounded off again and instead of sliding to the floor, Tyler pulled you close.

“C’mon (y/n), let's get to bed now huh?” his voice was calm.

“You’re not mad at me?” Tyler could hear the nerves in the way you spoke.

He took your chin between his pointer finger and thumb gently having you look at him. “I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you,” he nudged your nose with his. You smiled weakly, and he guided you up the stairs and to your bedroom.

His shirt lay discarded on the floor along with your sweats. He knew you hated wearing too much to bed. You had always said it made you feel too closed in. So there you were lying next to him in one of his shirts and your favorite polka-dot underwear.

He allowed you to wrap yourself around him and promised that he would show you there was nothing to be scared of when he was there.

The thunder rolled and lightning struck. Rain pelted the roof and windows. The wind blew and whistled through the old oak outside your window.

Each boom caused you to shake. Every gust of wind and blinding flash, had your heart pounding against your ribs.

But there he was, secure, steady, and warm. Whispering assurances in the dark. Holding you close, unwavering.

Your face buried in the crook of his neck, and his hand warm and rough against your back.

His lips soft against your hairline, "I've got you, sweetheart. Nothing's gonna hurt you." He breathed out.

A particularly strong gust of wind rattled the window. You let out a cry and wrapped yourself around Tyler.

He felt warm tears drip on his skin. He lightly tugged you away so he could see your face.

"Please don't, please don't let go," your voice broke. His heart ached at your plea.

"I'm not going anywhere. Look at me," he said. Softly brushing a piece of hair from your face.

You didn't budge. "(Y/n), baby, look at me. You've got nothing to be afraid of," he said and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

He gently did his best to coax you out of your hiding spot.

"C'mon sweet girl, I've got you," he reminded you. Slowly but surely you shifted so you could look at him.

He saw the tear stains on your cheeks and the fear in your (e/c) eyes. His gaze softened, and he leaned forward to kiss your red nose.

"I'm sorry Ty," he heard your uneven breathing.

He placed his hand on your cheek and rested his forehead against yours. His lips were just a whisper away. He placed a messy kiss on your mouth. Your breath hitched at the soft gesture.

"You have no reason to be sorry," he mumbled before he pulled you back in for a real kiss.

Albeit short, it was enough.

---

Now after 2 years of being with him, your fears lessened. Still, there were times you got scared, but with his hand in yours you never felt safer. Even when you weren't in the truck with Tyler. Dexter and Dani would have an arm around your shoulder. They knew watching the live streams made you nervous.

You’d always cheer and celebrate but once the sky cleared you let out the breath you were holding.

---

You stood next to Dani who had their arm secure around your shoulders.

You saw Tyler, Boone, and Lily getting closer to the oncoming storm. The sight was still as unbelievable as it was when you first saw it.

Looming dangerously close to the people you loved. Even so, the smiles on their faces, and how they shouted in excitement spoke volumes. Eyes wide with a sense of wonderment.

The all too familiar fearlessness etched on your boyfriend's face. It brought a smile to your face.

As they anchored the truck into the ground, your heart raced. You shouted along with Dani and Dexter. You heard the fans around you cheer too as they shot fireworks up into the funnel.

You watched as the sun came back into view, and they jumped out of the truck. You let out a sigh of relief.

"Woo! Did you see that?!" Boone shouted and you laughed. Dani laughed out loud and picked you up in excitement. You held on tight to them and laughed as well.

"She was gorgeous!" Tyler shouted. "Just like you babe!" He pointed at the camera and you knew he was talking to you.

You blushed and smiled.

As soon as the group reunited, you leaped from the RV.

"Tyler!" You shouted as he stepped out of the truck.

He quickly turned toward you with a huge smile. "Hey, baby!" He held his arms open and let you run into them.

What he didn't expect was you to jump into his arms. He caught you and laughed, your face was buried in his shoulder and he placed a kiss on your neck.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, he held you up underneath your thighs. You looked at him with a big smile, that mirrored his.

He set you on the tailgate, before bending down and pressing his lips to yours. One hand traveled to your hip, the other hitched your thigh higher over his hip. Your slender fingers ran through his hair, gently tugging at the strands. Your thumb affectionately stroked his cheek.

A low whistle sounded behind you and you smiled against Tyler's lips.

"We know it was a good chase but damn, didn't think you would be that excited." Dani teased.

You giggled and hid your face in his chest. He looked down at you in adoration. He let you go and helped you hop down from the bed of his truck.

The group looked at the two of you knowingly. Boone winked at Tyler who rolled his eyes.

"Use protection!" Lily shouted as you pulled Tyler up the staircase, and to your room for the night.

---

Sometimes things got rough. For a brief moment in time, you felt forgotten. Forgotten by the one person you never thought would forget you.

You thought it was over.

---

Tyler woke you up one morning. He was already dressed and ready to head out the door.

"Where are you going T?" You asked in confusion. Trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.

Tyler looked over at you with a sad smile.

"What's wrong?" Your voice had grown concerned.

"I'm going to check on Kate. She left in a hurry, and I'm worried about her." He said and fiddled with the arcade ring on his finger.

Your brows furrowed together, "what?" Your voice was softer than usual.

He shut his eyes and ran a hand over his face.

"She went through hell last night. Dexter remembered her name from the paper a few years ago. I'm going to see if she's ok," he sighed.

"Alone?" Wondered aloud. He shifted his weight. "Were you even going to tell me? Or were you just gonna leave?" Your voice shook.

"I was gonna leave a note..." he trailed off and cringed at how shitty that sounded.

"Fine, go." You said and pointed at the door.

You did your best to hold back your tears, of both frustration and hurt.

He tried to take a step toward the bed but you pushed yourself further back.

"Baby, please understand, she needs someone right now,"

You huffed and shook your head. "Right, then leave. It's not like anyone here needs you," you mumbled.

He watched as you stepped past him and walked into the bathroom. The door wasn't slammed shut but closed softly in a way only you did when you were hurt.

Tyler stepped up to the door and placed his hand against it. "I love you (Y/n)," he said.

With no response from you, he walked out the door.

Having heard the door shut you let a few tears fall. You didn't want the team to see how upset you were so you pulled it together.

You slipped into your jeans and a tank top before heading out the door.

The door shut behind you, and before walking down the stairs to greet everyone you plastered on a smile.

"You guys ready to chase some storms?!" You called down the stairs. The group turned to face you and they all whooped as you jumped the last few steps.

You ran over to them and asked if there were any possible storms.

As soon as you asked Dexter shouted. "I've got one! This cell to the east is looking strong, we gotta go!"

You all piled in the RV as best as you could. It was nowhere near comfortable but it would have to do.

Staring at the sky turning gray, and the horizon being blurred by the tornado picking up speed. The thought of Tyler running off to comfort a girl he barely knew, was eating away at you.

Despite not being able to drive straight into it Liliy's drone picked up all you needed to see.

You wanted to jump out of the RV, let the wind whip your hair and the rain lash your face. You wanted to scream until you couldn't anymore, but if you did your friends would surely know that there's something wrong.

You stayed silent as the tornado dissipated.

It had been 2 days since you had seen or heard from Tyler. You had put on the performance of a lifetime. Each time Boone or Lily asked about Tyler, you just told them that everything was fine. You acted as if it was no big deal, and continued to smile.

"Tyler! Man, where have you been?" Boone cried down the phone. Your head turned to see him on the phone.

"Wait, wait. Kate did what?" Boone questioned in confusion. He went silent as Tyler spoke to him.

"Where do you want to meet?" Boone listened to his friend's instructions.

He called everyone over and explained what was going on before rallying you all into the RV.

Everyone chatted about Kate's plan, and you chose to stay silent. You didn't have much to say. All you thought about was Tyler, staying with her for 2 days. Her riding shotgun while they chased a tornado.

They hugged and celebrated the rush of adrenaline after the storm passed.

Before you knew it you arrived at the place he told you to meet him.

Everyone exited the vehicle and went to greet Tyler. You stepped out of the RV and made your way over to the group.

Tyler saw you hanging back and smiled softly trying to break the tension.

"Hey Sweetheart," he said and opened his arms hoping you'd run to hug him. He knew he had messed up the second he reached Kate's house.

He didn't know why it took him so long to realize the actual damage he had done to you. But he couldn't have turned back then. It was too late, you were already hurt.

You sent him a curt nod before Kate came walking toward you.

"Finally ditched the losers huh Kate?" Boone grinned at her and she smiled.

The rest of the team greeted her with smiles and open arms. She looked over at you and tried to send a smile your way.

You weren't a terrible person so you, just like you did with Tyler, gave her a curt nod.

You listened as she and Tyler explained their plan to you all. You understood, and couldn't lie that you were impressed. But it didn't hurt any less when he smiled at her excitement.

Seeing her work so easily with everyone made you insecure. It took you a while to settle in when you met everyone but with her, it seemed like they had known each other for years.

You leaned against the back of the RV as you tried to get a moment for yourself.

You didn't hear his footsteps until they were right next to you.

You looked away from him and did your best to not let your emotions get the best of you.

His shoulder bumped yours as he leaned back. His hand brushed yours and your heart jolted.

"(Y/n), will you look at me?" His voice was soft.

"Why?" You shrugged still avoiding his gaze.

"Because I want to talk to you. I need to hear your voice," it came out almost as a plea.

“If you wanted to hear my voice, you should’ve called. You should have stayed,” you refused to look at him.

“I know, I messed up. I was an asshole and I-I” he didn’t know what to say.

The sound of his voice made your stomach turn. "Please," he tried one last time.

You reluctantly turned to look at him. The man you loved.

He could see the dark circles under your eyes and you looked like you hadn't truly rested in days. His heart lurched at the thought of this being his doing.

"Baby..." his eyes filled with concern as he reached up to place a hand on your cheek. You stopped his hand before it reached your face.

"Now you care?" Your voice was harsh. He could see the hurt and frustration in your tired eyes.

"What do you mean, "now"?" He narrowed his eyes at you.

You rolled your eyes and laughed bitterly.

"You were going to leave me in our motel room, with a note telling me that you went to be with a girl you hardly knew because she needed you. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You went radio silent for 2 days." You barked.

You threw your hands up, and he began to speak up.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I admit what I did was stupid, but look where we are now. We can help, we can make a difference!" He raised his voice.

"I guess you found your match huh? Someone as smart as you. Not some girl who doesn't always understand what you're talking about. You found someone to make a difference with. You don't need a stand-in for the right person anymore." You didn't mean for your voice to waver at the end, but you couldn't help it.

His eyes widened, and you could see what you said hurt him.

"That's really what you think? You think you're a stand-in, you're just temporary?" His heart broke.

Tears threatened to fall, as you looked at him.

"That's exactly what I think. You've acted differently ever since you met Kate, and now I realize that you found the one you really want." You stated.

He threw his hands up and ran them through his hair in frustration.

"You're crazy, you're actually crazy." He looked at you in shock. Shocked that you believed he thought of you as a placeholder while he waited for “someone better”.

His words broke the dam of tears you'd held in since the moment he left.

He saw tears pour down your cheeks and grabbed you to pull you close. His arms were wound around you tightly and no matter how much you tried to push him away. No matter how much you struggled he held you.

"Let me go, Tyler!" You cried but he didn't let go. "I'm not letting you go." He stated.

"I love you." He said and looked down at you. Your face was wet with tears, and he could see how much he hurt you. But with his words you let yourself fall against his chest. Your tears soaked his shirt, and you clung to him. You didn’t know how much you needed to hear that until now. After feeling second best since Kate showed up, all you needed to hear was that he loved you. Just you.

He pressed his lips to your head. "God, I love you so much, Sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I love you," he whispered in your ear. He felt your frame shake in his hold, and he didn't know if it was possible to hold you any closer.

You pulled back and looked up at him to see tears in his eyes.

"You're so fucking stupid Tyler Owens. I should hate you, but I just can't," you said and pulled him down to kiss you. His hands immediately found your waist.

He kissed you as if his life depended on it. Like you were the only thing he needed to live.

Your hands touched him anywhere they could. Wanting to memorize every part of him.

He gripped your hips, ran his hands under your shirt, and traced every inch of your skin. Grabbing at the flesh of your waist. Doing anything he could to commit your body to his memory. His lips wandered to your cheek and left a trail along the column of your throat. He savored every sound, every sigh, every whisper of his name.

The slam of a car door snapped you back to reality. He pulled away from you, with a soft smirk on his lips. You knew you must have been a sight.

"Help me?" You asked him. He knew what you meant, and immediately ran his hands through your hair, as you wiped your cheeks.

He fixed the collar of your shirt and smiled before leaning down once more to kiss your plush lips.

"You still have a lot of making up to do," you pointed at him.

"I'll do anything for you," sincerity dripped from his words.

"Alright, love birds. We get you made up but we have to go!" Boone yelled.

You chuckled as you ran towards the truck. Tyler helped you in, kissed your hand, and rounded the truck to get in the driver's seat.

---

Things after that day had changed drastically. Tyler had done everything he could to gain your trust back.

He took a week off from chasing to stay home with you.

The time was spent tangled in sheets. It was spent in sundresses having a picnic in the field by your house. It was spent falling in love all over again.

---

-Hope you liked it alright! thanks for reading if you made it this far! <3

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