#I mean it sounds gay but I dunno

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

i’ve fallen face over ass into a (mostly) dead ship

[canthelpit0]

Girls

Pairing: Billie eilish x reader

Wordcount: 1.2k +

Summary: Billie lowkey has a crush on her childhood bsf. And she doesn’t realize it and accidentally comes out to finneas

Warnings: FLUFF, wlw, (mentioned) sexual tension, coming out, it’s around 2023, mentioned Tourette’s, Billie has a bf, finneas is in this

(A/n: I do not have Tourette’s don’t come for me)

“I just don’t understand” Billie groans rubbing her face in frustration.

She’d just been hanging out with her best friend. Her childhood best friend. You’d been at her house just watching a movie while commenting on the scenes and laughing together while eating popcorn.

You say something stupid about the main character, mocking his voice and the monologue currently displayed.

Billie can’t help but laugh at the poor impression. She isn’t even looking at the TV anymore, she’s just staring at your pretty face while little giggles leave her lips.

You keep mocking the main characters voice. You turn your head and your eyes land on Billie. Billie could swear her heart literally stopped. She licks her teeth as she desperately tries not to burst out into laughter.

You laugh, and suddenly Billie is laughing.

Billie, being the touchy ass person she is leans over casually putting her head onto your chest, more aggressively then needed. Her eyes close as laughs rack her body. Her hand unknowingly places itself on your chest while she laughs, burying her face into your shoulder.

After a while your laughs quiet down, the movie forgotten. It had just been playing without any of you paying attention while you laughed and neither of you could find it in yourselves to care.

Billie lifts her head, your faces entirely too close. She doesn’t move. Up until she realizes her hand is rest in on your boob.

Her eyes widen just slightly as she takes her hand off of your tit. She keeps looking at you tho, all while her face is pink with her blush. She feels like a coward as she moves back, too fast, too abruptly. But she plays it off and stuffs her mouth with popcorn as she starts watching the movie again, trying to ignore your warm presence next to her.

“…She’s just so pretty, it literally hurts, you know what I mean” Billie says after a long pause.

So what if she is venting to her brother? She needs to talk about this or she feels like she’ll combust.

“Sounds a little gay of you” finneas replies dryly. His face is blank, the sarcasm in his tone plain as day. Billie just groans at his words. He’s supposed to actually help, or shut up and listen.

“Fuck off finneas. It’s not gay to appreciates some ones looks” Billie scoffs loudly. She burries her face into her hands as she sighs loudly.

“No, it’s just that her skin is so soft. And her lips just look so soft and pink and plump and-“ she cuts herself off. She figures she should shut up.

“Billie, you have a boyfriend.” Finneas reminds her as if she doesn’t know. How could she not know. And really that had been the only thing holding her back from kissing her best friend earlier, right? Well… that and the fact that her best friend would probably push her away because they’ve been best friends for too long… and damn that would be weird right?

Billie’s neck jerks slightly, her Tourette’s flaring up slightly from the stress of her brain working overtime. She frowns staring at her lap.

“I know, it’s just that…” she pauses for a second. She looks up at finneas, but averts her eyes again, his gaze is too sharp, like she knows something Billie doesn’t. And Billie doesn’t like that. “I dunno.”

“I just don’t think I’ll be with him forever.” Billie says slowly, her eyes going back to her brother as she frowns.

She’s sat on the couch in finneas’ basement studio. While finneas is sat on his desk chair. Watching Billie, almost amused

“I don’t know, it’s just that” Billie rubs her temple as she talks. Slowly, as if testing the words out. As if saying it out loud would be like admitting something to herself that she had known for a while. “I can’t see myself being with him forever. He’s just… a waste of my time, a backdrop?”

Billie goes quiet. There is nothing more she has to say about him. Sure she is dating him, sure she is loyal. But she never, not even at the start, saw herself with him forever. Because forever is a long time.

“Well then you shouldn’t be stringing him along.” Finneas says after the prolonged pause. “That’s not fair to him.”

“Mhm” the hum is halfhearted as her brain is already drifting off. She lets the silence settle in, she can’t help but think about her pretty face. Her beloved best friend.

She’s always thought she would always be in her life. After all, they’re best friends, right? She always imagined that you’d be neighbors. Billie had her husband, you have your husband, your kids are best friends, you always hang out while your husbands are at work. She’s always pictured you in her life, forever.

“God, I can’t help it, she’s just so, so pretty.” Billie blurts out. She doesn’t look up to finneas’ questioning gaze. She knows he is probably confused about what she is talking about now.

“I mean she always wears those cute ass button up shirts, and I just wanna-“ Billie purses her lips sighing. What does she want. She wants a lot of things.

She wants to crash her body into her best friend, to hug her and never let go. To burry her face in your chest and stay there. To have you play with her hair, and rub her scalp. She wants to touch you, feel your skin. She wants to unbutton the fucking buttons of those button ups you wear. She wants to kiss all over your neck. She wants to feel you, to hug you, to be with you.

Her eye twitches slightly as her brain gives her a list of things she wants to do. Billie groans loudly putting her head in her hands. She tuggs at her hair slightly trying to get herself together, even tho she can feel the burn of the blush creeping onto her face.

“I don’t know, I just really really want to be with her, and hug her and never let go. I want” she deliberately pauses. “Her.”

Billie’s head snaps up, her eyes meeting finneas’ amused expression.

“Fuck-“ Billie whispers loudly, as if she’d accidentally shared a secret. “Am I gay?” She asked, her tone disbelieving, but she isn’t stupid, she heard how her own thoughts and words sounded. And it sounded pretty fucking gay to her.

Finneas bursts out laughing. Like fully doubles over laughing. Billie can’t help a small smile as she is still really confused staring at her brother as if he has all the answers.

Once he calms down he lets out an amused sigh “sounds like it”

Before Billie can even think of a reply finneas keeps talking “well” he says dramatically, dragging the word out. “I wouldn’t say gay, but it does sound like ‘In love with your best friend’. “

Billie lets out a loud high pitched embarrassed sound as she, once again, hides her face in her hands. She feels hot.

Billie knows she falls in love quite easily, but falling for her childhood best friend was on a whole another level. Well not really. But it’s still a lot to realize on a random Saturday.

Masterlist

‼️please dont copy my work/idea‼️

A/N: this idea was so cute, i literally had to write it. if you wanna be put on, or taken off the taglist, tell me !!

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life , @h3arts4harry , @whosthislyssbitch , @jamiesturniolo , @sturniololover-09 , @zayyluvz , @sturnzsblog , @jetaimevous , @imwetforyourmom , @yoongslvr69 , @ilovethesturnstriplets , @obsessionsarenotfortheweak , @mininishiriki , @bigbootyjudyyyy

[eddiestightywhities]

“Shit.” 

Eddie mutters the curse under his breath when he can't seem to release the clasp on his St. Christopher chain.

He'd plopped himself down next to Buck after arriving home from dropping off his fourteen-year-old budding socialite at a friend's house, having already kicked off his boots and hooking an arm around Buck's still crossed-at-the-ankle legs, getting comfy with them resting over his lap—well, his lap and the arm of the sofa, because Buck has the longest pair of pins in the whole frickin world.

“Nope, I'm afraid shit can't possibly be the answer to seven down, Eddie, because even though it starts with an ‘S’, and the third letter is definitely an ‘I’, twelve across has got to be 'Skating', which would make the second letter a ‘K’,” Buck says with mock-seriousness as Eddie is still attempting to take off his chain. “And anyways, I don't really think the answer to the clue ‘Dermis’ could legitimately be shit, not by any stretch of the imagination; ‘Dermis’ sounds too… I dunno. Scientific? Medical?”

Eddie snorts his amusement at Buck, and Buck grins back at him with that particular twinkle in his eye that Eddie has come to think of as belonging to him.

He really tries his best not to be possessive over his best friend, knows he has no right to anything like that, but Eddie can't help being in love with Buck, no matter how much he wishes he wasn't.

Eddie's been fighting his desires his entire life, regardless of the fact he knows there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay. But growing up in Texas, with a family as traditional as his own? It means Eddie hasn't ever felt entitled to getting the things he wants in life.

Buck must notice Eddie struggling, then, because he immediately drops his pen and the crossword puzzle book Eddie picked up for him yesterday at the newspaper stand near the firehouse, and is now swinging his legs off the sofa so he can scooch further up to Eddie, until he's almost on top of Eddie, and is saying, “Here, let me get that for you, Eds.”

Eddie freezes.

He knows he should shoo Buck away like he's supposed to, do the right thing, but ever since Buck started dating Tommy—and ever since Buck broke up with Tommy—Eddie's been pretty bad at being well-behaved around Buck.

Buck doesn't exactly make things easy, though. Never has, truth be told. He's always been a really tactile kind of guy, and right now his tactile nature is trying to murder Eddie, dead, dead, dead.

“Lemme just…” Buck's tongue is poking out of his mouth and resting against his bottom lip in concentration—and Eddie knows he should look away but can't—and then he's leaning right into Eddie's space, like he goddamn belongs there and, oh god, Eddie can't take this. He can't. He can't fucking breathe let alone act like this isn't bothering him, like it isn't turning him on like he's a horny teenager again, like this isn't everything he wants and has dreamed of. “Eds, just… lean forward a little would you, so I can—a little bit more, man, c'mon, don't be shy, I just need to…”

Buck really is on top of Eddie now, big arms wrapped around Eddie's head, musky cologne in Eddie's nostrils and warm breath in the shell of Eddie's super-sensitive ear and fuck, he's practically straddling Eddie now, right thigh pushed up against Eddie's junk, oh hell, and Eddie is panting softly and only about two seconds away from moaning his best friend's name like the pathetic hot mess that he is, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Got it,” Buck mutters, and just as he goes to lean back and pull away from Eddie, Eddie hears his internal monologue say: Yeah, I've got it real bad. 

Then something just—snaps inside of his brain before it's shutting down completely and his heart is in his throat as he finds himself whispering, “Screw it,” while he grabs onto both of Bucks biceps with purpose because he's terrified that if he doesn't, they might leave him forever.

“Wait,” he says. Pleads. 

Buck's right thigh is snug against Eddie's left one, the other still in Eddie's lap, his gorgeous face right there next to Eddie's, so close Eddie can almost feel the prickle of Buck's stubble.

“Eds?” Buck whispers, and his breath is mingling with Eddie's and Eddie hasn't prayed for a long, long time, but he's praying now; praying that he's not about to fuck up the best thing, bar Christopher, that has ever happened to him; praying for redemption; praying that Buck might want Eddie even just a fraction of the amount Eddie wants Buck.

His voice breaks when he says the only thing he can. “Don't go.”

Eddie wants this so, so badly, just this one thing, that's all he's asking for, and he's willing to beg for it if he has to—swears he'll never ask for anything again as long as he fucking lives.

“I'm not, Eds, I'm…” Buck trails off, frowning a little. He swallows audibly and licks at those sinful lips that are right fucking there and then says, “What, um—w-what exactly do you mean by 'don't go', Eddie?”

Eddie's heart is thumping so hard against his ribcage it feels as if it's going to burst right out of his chest, and Buck has to be able to feel it too because his solid chest is pressed up firmly against Eddie's, and Eddie can't believe he's doing this and seriously might just pass the fuck out any minute now—

“I don't…” Eddie shakes his head.

Fuck.

Is he really doing this?

“You don't know? Or you don't want me to go—like, as in go home?” Buck's asking. Eddie can't breathe. “Or do you mean, like, go, uh, g-go away from—from right here?” Buck swallows again and Eddie has never wanted anything more than to lick a long stripe up that prominent Adam's Apple of Buck's. “Do you mean don't go from this, Eds? From… from you.” And that last part doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like Buck gets it, and like he isn't horrified by the idea or amused by it or as if he's pitying or mocking Eddie.

Unbelievably, it actually sounds a little like Buck might just want Eddie, too.

Eddie screws his eyes shut, and all he can manage to say is, “Yeah, Buck. The last one.”

Buck is then slowly, gently, sliding his cheek up and down Eddie's, and Eddie finally knows exactly how it feels to have that stubble dragging against his own and there is no fucking way on Earth he could hold in the almost sob-like breath that leaves his lips as Buck's line themself up with Eddie's trembling mouth.

He's gripping Buck's arms so tightly he's scared he might leave bruises there but can feel Buck smiling as he says, “Can I, Eddie? Please?”

Is this really happening?

“Fuck yes,” Eddie urges, and then Buck is kissing him; slowly; gently, and with so much of something that feels like it could be love that Eddie wants to cry.

Then Buck's pulling away, yet not really away because it's only barely enough to let Eddie swallow the boulder-sized lump in his throat and try to catch his breath—only he doesn't quite manage to catch the tear that escapes the corner of his left eye. Somehow, though, that's okay, because Buck kisses that, too—and Eddie finds himself letting it all go, then, and smiling back at the man he's been in love with for almost six years as he cries, because he can finally feel all the colours of the rainbow on his face.

“Eddie, you have no fucking idea how long I've wanted to do that,” Buck chuckles, and Eddie leans in and tilts his own head back slightly and Buck's down a little to press lips against Buck's birthmark, smiling like a fool through his tears.

Buck puts his arms fully around Eddie's shoulders and hugs him, tight.

Eddie just breathes him in until he feels settled enough to look at Buck without welling up again.

“Skin,” Buck says then, bringing his hands to Eddie's face and holding it, brushing thumb pads along Eddie's cheeks and drying his tears because he wants to, and can. Eddie squints in slight confusion at the word, before Buck's revealing the meaning behind it, telling him, “Seven down, Eds, it just came to me: It was the word skin. Yours is—man, it's even smoother than I'd imagined. So, so beautiful. You're beautiful.”

“God, I fucking love you, Buck,” Eddie blurts, because he can't help it. “I'm—I'm in love with you, Evan, and I just—I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you that, taken me too long to get my shit together and pull my head out of my—”

“Beautiful, insanely perfect ass,” Buck laughs, and then he's kissing Eddie again, like they've been doing this forever, and Eddie's kissing him back and laughing, too.

“Stay,” Eddie begs between kisses. “Stay forever, Buck.”

Buck looks at Eddie like a man in love and says, “I'm in love with you too, Eds. So, yeah, sure, I can do forever,” he promises.

And Buck always keeps his promises. 

.

happy pride to my beautiful firefam 🌈

(unedited pls forgive me!)

[emeline2020]

Somethin’ Stupid - D.DIXON

DESC : After a few too many drinks at a get-together in Alexandria, Daryl finds you slightly drunk outside of the Grimes house.

CONTAINS : fluff, romance, love confession (kinda???), alcohol and drunk reader

SEASON 9

You rubbed your thumbs against the cool glass, feeling the indents and patterns made onto the bottle. Not much liquid was left at this point, and this was around your third bottle.

It was a warm night, a full moon and a sky of stars beamed down on you as you sat on the porch, the little wooden bench a bit uncomfortable.

You were outside the Grimes House, taking a break from the now dying-down party Rick had thrown. Just about everyone was in attendance, and just about everyone was drunk out of their minds, and they began to stumble back to their own homes in Alexandria.

You laughed, watching Rosita wobble with an arm over Gabriel’s shoulder as they walked down the dark gravel paths of Alexandria. The two of them were all laughing and smiling.

The bright lights from inside the house through the windows were the only things providing illumination on your surroundings.

You could hear Michonne’s familiar laugh from inside, the sound of bottles being gathered for disposal. Then, the door creaked open.

You looked up, the added light coming from the door making the buzz in your mind a bit more painful. You scrunched your eyes and nose, staring at the figure exiting the Grimes Home.

It was Daryl, with his long shaggy hair and angel vest. Your lips quickly curved at the sight of the man. His steps were more even and firm than most, clearly not as intoxicated as the vast majority including yourself.

“Hi.” You smiled, still clutching the beer in your two hands.

“Hey. Wha’cha out here for?” He asked, the sounds of a plastic water bottle crumbling in his hand as he made his way over to you, taking a seat next to you on the wooden bench.

“Too bright in there. It’s giving me a migraine.” You explain, bringing the brown bottle to your lips. He reaches for your right hand, holding it in his as he carefully and slowly pryed the bottle from your hand. Clearly trying to avoid riling you up.

He moved the brown bottle next to him on the ground, and unscrewed the cap off of the plastic water bottle and placed it in your hand, “Ain’t too bright. Ya just drank too much.”

You would’ve argued for the beer back, but it seemed like too much work. You made a grumbling noise, taking a sip of water. Daryl chuckled softly, rubbing a hand on his stubble and watching you.

“Are you a moon guy?” You asked suddenly, leaning back on the bench and staring into the dark night sky. Daryl raised and eyebrow, but mocked your position, leaning his head back to see what you were seeing.

“Huh?”

“Are you a moon guy? Or a sun guy? You seem more like an asteroid guy if I’m being honest.” You stated calmly, clutching the plastic bottle.

He turned to glance at you. You were still staring up at the sky, so he turned back to the sky, “Dunno. Sounds like somethin’ stupid.”

You furrowed your eyes, sending him a glare, but quickly turning your head back to the sky.

“What are you?” He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“No clue. I can never decide.” You sigh, your eyes moving from star to star.

Daryl paused, turning his head to the left, still at a horizontal angle the same way yours was. He just watched you for a few seconds.

“Stars.” He said, his gruff voice gentle and soft sounding.

Your eyes widened a bit, you turned to face him, but now he was staring at the sky, “You think I’m stars?”

“Mhm.”

You raised an eyebrow in thought but made a humming noise, seemingly accepting his answer.

“Okay then. We can be binary stars.” You shrug, a happy tone in your voice.

Daryl sits up, giving you a weird look with a raised eyebrow, “I ain’t gay.”

You sit up, and can’t help but scoff a laugh, “Not what that means, hun.” You take another sip of water, staring at the specs of light just above the gate to Alexandria. Daryl follows your gaze, staring at the same stars as you.

“Wha’s it mean, then?” He sounded confused, reaching an arm around you. He carefully avoided making contact with you, but he still held his arm over the back of the chair, hoping maybe you would lean back onto his arm.

“Binary stars are stars that spin around each other. They get so close, that they appear as one sometimes.” You smile widely, staring into the black above you.

Daryl just watched you.

“An’ you think tha’s us? Two stars tha’ circle each other?

You turned to meet his eyes, drunk confidence flowing through you.

“Yeah.”

And that moment, the moment you nodded your head with such faith in what you said is when Daryl Dixon knew he was in love with you.

He watched you for a few seconds, before turning and shaking his head.

“Tha’s somethin’ stupid if I’ve ever heard it.” He mumbled, rubbing his right hand over his eyes and face. He was worried that if he didn’t spit out some sort of judgement or insult, he would say something even stupider.

Something stupid like him admitting just how in love he was.

[bifuriouswaterbender]

@steddieholidaydrabbles is doing some warm up rounds. This is for the Round One prompt "High School or College AU," rated T, 685 words.

"You sure your roommate won't mind?" Robin had asked.

"No," Steve had answered automatically. "He's cool."

Maybe that was proving incorrect because while they'd already been asleep curled up together in Steve's bed when Eddie got home, this morning he was being incredibly weird about it.

"You didn't leave a sock or text me or anything," Eddie hissed in his ear when Robin was using the en-suite bathroom that Steve praised for existing every single day.

He'd done the communal shower thing for sports in high school. He didn't mind avoiding it now.

Steve just shrugged and kept digging in his dresser for a shirt he knew Robin had jokingly tucked in his bags before they'd moved in. "I didn't need to. We weren't doing anything but sleeping."

"Right." Eddie sounded doubtful, but Steve ignored him.

He knocked on the bathroom door. "Got a shirt for you."

It opened a crack and Robin's arm stuck through like some kind of little raccoon. Steve laughed as he handed it over.

The door shut firmly behind him, he turned back around, surprised at the look on Eddie's face. "What?"

Eddie shrugged and flopped down in his desk chair, barely avoiding hitting his head on the underside of his bed. "I dunno, I guess I'm just surprised."

"By what?"

Eddie's eyes darted to the door before settling back at Steve. "I mean this definitely doesn't feel like it was a random hookup or anything."

Steve snorted. "It definitely wasn't."

Eddie nodded, his face grim. He dropped his voice as he said, "And that means you've put me in a fucked up and really awkward place, man. You talk all the time about going out and maybe finding somebody at a party to hook up with. I don't think you really have hooked up with anyone, but am I supposed to keep that a secret from your girlfriend?"

Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times before getting out, "Girlfriend?" Then he lost it.

The bathroom door opened behind him, and Steve heard Robin move closer. "What's so funny?" she asked.

Eddie looked stricken, but Steve managed to get out between his chuckles, "Eddie thinks we're dating."

Steve turned to see her face directly, and the priceless way she wrinkled her nose in disgust sent him into another wave of laughter, this one hard enough to force tears from his eyes.

"What the fuck," Eddie deadpanned.

"Sorry," Steve sputtered, even as Robin shook her head.

"We're not dating," she said flatly.

"I, um, am gathering that," Eddie said, his eyes rapidly flicking between them.

"Platonic," Robin said.

"With a capital P," Steve added, still wheezing.

"Besides," Robin continued, "I'm not interested in men. I'm a lesbian."

For a moment, the room was still. Then Steve found himself throwing her into a hug. "I'm so proud of you! Oh my god, you said it in front of someone!"

Robin's face turned pink, but she hugged him back. "Yeah, and you're kinda ruining that moment, dingus."

Steve sobered up immediately. He pulled back but didn't let go of her completely. With the way she leaned against his side, Steve had to assume she approved. "Sorry." He turned his gaze back to Eddie. "Well?"

Eddie, clearly unsure how he was supposed to react, blurted out, "I'm gay."

"Really?"

Robin elbowed Steve in the side for that, but he stayed focused on Eddie's panicked expression.

"Is that going to be a problem?" Eddie asked. He moved like he was trying to sound tough, but it did not come out that way.

Steve felt a stab of guilt for making him think he might be in danger.

"No, absolutely not!" Steve insisted. "I'm bisexual!"

This time Robin squealed. She was in his face before Steve could even process Eddie's reaction. "And now I'm proud of you!" she declared. "Have you told anybody but me? That's so awesome!"

Steve made eye contact with Eddie around her as a slow smile spread across his roommate's face.

"Yeah," Steve said. "I think it is."

With the way Eddie was looking at him now, it was going to be.

[idiopath-fic-smile]

i dunno if that counts as a wip, but personally i've been thinking abt the "conversation at the dinner table of enjolras' family" series for years now so i gotta jump on the oppurunity

oh my gosh, sure thing! when i checked my WIP folder, i learned i'd actually already written a second whole installment (and then completely forgotten about it) so i'll post that too, and then my new chunk after it.

first bit is here. throwing this under a cut bc it's not short!

Two

“So,” said Dad as he ladled the first round of Saturday morning pancake batter onto the griddle, “tell us about this boy you’re dating?”

Enjolras consciously steadied his hands, took a sip of green tea to stall, and reminded himself that if the relationship was real, he would have been dying to share everything he knew about the boy in question. With an unpleasant lurch, he realized this was almost nothing. He wasn’t even sure what grade Grantaire was in.

“He’s…great,” said Enjolras, hoping that with any luck, his panic could be read as lovestruck embarrassment.

Mom curled her hands around her coffee cup and leaned in, conspiratorial. “Is he cute?”

Between Friday afternoon and now, Enjolras had dedicated a staggering amount of thought to the situation, but he hadn’t made much forward progress. Any time he tried, his mind tended to get snagged, or caught in loops, or lost on wild tangents like, Did Grantaire really mean it when he said he would be okay kissing for the sake of this pretense? How could he possibly be alright with that? Was he kidding? But it honestly didn’t seem like he was kidding. But how would it even come up?

One of very few conclusions Enjolras had reached: he needed to find a way to lie to his parents as little as possible. The thought of deceiving them on purpose for months already made the pit of his stomach feel heavy.

“Yeah,” he said weakly, “he’s…got cool hair.” This was true, if asinine. “And um, a good smile. A really good smile.” Also true, although Enjolras mostly saw it either accompanied by a lot of sarcasm or directed at other people.

“So.” Dad craned around to face him, spatula in hand. “Good at smiling. What else?”

Really, Enjolras thought, he should have been able to anticipate this. He could’ve drawn up his talking points beforehand, like he had with the detention. Set aside the time to brainstorm something better than ‘cool hair,’ for crying out loud. He wondered what Grantaire himself would’ve thought of this conversation, the face Grantaire would’ve pulled at Enjolras’s ludicrous attempts to sound like a person with a boyfriend.

Come to think of it, he wondered what Grantaire was telling his own parents about the whole affair. Maybe nothing. Probably nothing. Grantaire didn’t strike him as the kind of kid to spend weekends bonding with his family. Besides, given the demographics of the area, it was unlikely that they’d be supportive of Grantaire’s—fake coming out? Real coming out under fake circumstances? Enjolras didn’t even know whether or not Grantaire was gay. On one hand, it was a pretty outrageous thing for a straight guy to do. On the other hand—well. It was a pretty outrageous thing for a closeted gay guy to do, too.

With no conscious input from his brain, Enjolras’s memory rewound itself, yet again, to the sight of Grantaire calling his name yesterday in the cafeteria—eyes flashing under that mop of wild dark hair, back straight, fists clenched at his sides like he was about to take on the whole school in one go and win.

Enjolras had seen him and thought, ‘This is why Nicolas Sparks books work on people. This is why half the songs on the radio are the same insipid story over and over again.’ Novelists and songwriters wasted all those words trying to capture a sensation and tame it into words but really it was just Grantaire—smartass Grantaire who was annoying and disruptive and weirdly moody sometimes, who refused to take anything seriously, who didn’t even like Enjolras—it was just Grantaire striding forward with Enjolras’s name on his lips, fury on his face, throwing away every scrap of popularity to back up a cause he had bitterly ridiculed just days ago, for no reason Enjolras could see.

It was a lot to think about.

God, Enjolras was in so far over his head.

“Are you blushing?” said Mom.

“No,” said Enjolras.

“Frank,” she said, “Frank, he’s blushing.”

Enjolras slumped down in his chair. “He’s—funny,” Enjolras blurted, because any line of inquiry was preferable to this, even admitting out loud that he wasn’t totally immune to Grantaire’s jokes. More than once, Enjolras had walked out of a meeting with a raw spot on the inside of his cheek from an hour of trying not to laugh at his most recent shenanigans. If anything, it was more of a liability than a point in Grantaire’s favor. He never would have been able to bring everything grinding to a halt by just shouting out quotes from Family Guy or whatever passed for humor among most of their peers. He was quick and clever and creative—and he used it to make everything infinitely harder than it needed to be.

He’d been different at lunch, though, Enjolras thought, squinting unseeing at the syrup. Once the initial shock of are these the next two and a half months of my life had started to wear off, one of the first things Enjolras had noticed was how much energy Grantaire put into making the table laugh.

“Sense of humor,” said Dad. “That’s crucial.”

“Yeah,” said Enjolras. “And—a good artist.” This was something he only knew from Jehan, since the contents of Grantaire’s notebooks were apparently top secret to the rest of the world. “A really good artist,” he added. It might’ve been true, at any rate. Enjolras couldn’t picture Grantaire concentrating that hard at anything but maybe he had natural talent. “He can draw anything. And he plays the drums.”

“A musician!” Dad called over his shoulder. “Let us know if he has any gigs coming up.”

“What did you say his name was?” Mom asked.

Enjolras told her. She grimaced around a mouthful of coffee.

“What?”

“I’ve met his mom,” she said. “She’s in my Jazzercise group. She’s—well, maybe he takes after his dad.”

“Why,” said Enjolras, “did she—” He frowned at his empty plate, but of course there was no way to end that sentence without scraping too close to the truth. Try to make you feel ridiculous for caring about anything? Roll her eyes at you for reacting? Mock and defend your friends in the same breath?

“What?” said Mom.

“Nothing.”

Mom pursed her lips. “I want to be fair, maybe I caught her on a bad day, but she—struck me as pretty phony. A very Stepford feel. Plus, when I told her I had a teenage son, she laughed and said ‘I’m sorry,’ which—you know how that kind of thing burns me. Like, look, lady, I’ve got a kid I feel great about, who I love spending time with. Don’t project your issues on me.” She took another sip of coffee. “I thought her son was younger. She didn’t really mention him but she had one of those middle school honor roll bumper stickers?”

“Does he have a little brother, maybe?” Dad suggested, flipping pancakes with practiced ease.

Enjolras shrugged.

“How did you meet him?” said Mom.

“He’s—he goes to all the meetings, for the ABC,” said Enjolras, because stressing their shared history of detention felt like an unwise move and anyway this, too, was technically accurate, just in that slippery politician way that Enjolras hated—dropping breadcrumbs and letting the listener fill in the lie for themselves.

“He’s dedicated, then,” said Mom.

Completely dedicated. Not dedicated at all. I have no idea. “Yeah,” he said. “And smart.” Truthful, if misleading. “And—nice.” Maybe truthful? Enjolras seemed to be the only person he went out of his way to annoy, at any rate. “I don’t know,” Enjolras mumbled, which was, he thought wryly, the most honest claim he’d made so far. “I just—I just like him a lot,” he finished, and nothing in the words or how he said them was an act.

That was the problem.

Three

“So,” said Mom brightly, “how was Joly’s party?”

Enjolras chewed his black bean burger and fought the urge to tug up the neck of his T-shirt over the completely obvious bite bruise blooming slightly north of his clavicle. 

He swallowed. “Fine,” said Enjolras. “Good.”

“How are things with Grantaire?” she added and okay, yes, only a fool wouldn't have seen this coming.

Enjolras set down his bun. He couldn’t deal with Mom or Dad thinking he had been pressured in any way. The thought was not only abhorrent, it was completely out of character for Grantaire. Who, regardless of where he actually sat politically, had way more principles than he’d let on.

Enjolras summoned up all the sincerity he could muster. “Great,” he said, thinking of how Grantaire talked to Joly, goofy and kind, without an ounce of condescension. He could feel himself starting to smile. “Really great.” Dad cleared his throat. “You know,” he said. “When you came out to us as asexual, we assumed it meant we could skip over some conversations, but now, uh." Mom and Dad exchanged the slightest of looks.

"It's a spectrum," said Enjolras, face flaming. He hadn't articulated to them where exactly he sat on that spectrum, because for one thing he hadn't known for sure, and for another thing he could think of nothing more painful that tracing the exact topography of his attraction with his parents, for crying out loud.

"Well, there's no harm in knowledge, right?" Dad continued. His voice had the slightest practiced quality to it. Enjolras could imagine him going over his argument out loud before dinner, searching for the best way to make his case. Enjolras found this obscurely comforting. "Plus, you know," said Dad. "Kids talk about these things with each other and there's so much misinformation out there; you might appreciate the chance to be a resource for your friends. About dating or relationships, or the things that happen in a relationship. Is it okay if we go over a few things?”

Enjolras swung his foot under the table and carefully didn't think about Grantaire determinedly giving him a hickey in the kitten-wallpapered bathroom of Joly's basement.

"Sure."

"Great," said Dad, relief rushing into his face. He stood. "If it helps, I have some handouts I can go quick print out."

[ar1mas]

- a rant

no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???

ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...

theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.

okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).

so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.

that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.

.....or so i thought.

because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.

what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.

WHAT.

WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.

correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.

note how im saying 'would have'.

because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.

so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.

...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.

now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.

the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.

so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.

im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-

youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?

...oh.

YOU.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-

inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.

i hate him. i hate him so much.

if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??

'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.

a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!

(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)

ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:

this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.

i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺

unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.

which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-

"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."

"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."

hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-

"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."

"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"

...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.

unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.

and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.

"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."

"you gave up your revenge for me?"

a chance... for what?

"life begins anew."

"shall we get to work?"

and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.

so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.

nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.

so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).

tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.

have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-

[cosyvelvetorchid]

Not quite sure how to go beyond the setup for this. Probably Buck 1.0 era, maybe later. Could really use more actual dialog.

Buck, Hen and Chimney are out drinking, Bucks been getting hit in a lot at calls as usual but it’s really ramped up. Somehow Buck decides he’s a little bit bored by the chase, they’ve had a few drinks, Chimney jokingly, mostly, bets Buck he can’t get a guys number. Always up for the challenge, Buck accepts. chimney spots a familiar face and decided to double his entertainment and ups the ante that he gets to pick the guy. Jokes on him - he doesn’t know Tommy is gay, Hen does. Hen just stifles a laugh and watched the 2 fools.

Basically Buck starts off just looking to win a bet but ends up leaving in Tommy’s arm, blowing kisses at Chimney and Hen, and Chimney spilling his beer all over himself.

Sorry for the delay in getting to this. Thanks for sending it 🩶

***

Buck gave a polite smile to the tall redhead. “Thank you, uh.. but I’m not, uh, I’m not dating right now “

“You break a girls heart.” She replied, jutting out her bottom lip for effect.

“Sorry. Nice to meet you.” He nodded and made his way back to the table where Chimney and Hen were waiting.

“Are you sick?” Hen asked, placing the back of her hand to Bucks forehead.

“What? No. Why?” He gently swatted her hand away.

“Because that’s the 4th woman who’s hit on you tonight that you’ve turned down.” She told him. He sighed.

“I know, it’s just.. I dunno. I’m just bored of the chase I guess. I mean, it’s the same game every-time: we talk, I make a joke, she smiles, we both laugh, our shoulders touch, there’s a moment, I lean in a little closer, she doesn’t resist.. one drink, two compliments later and we end up in bed together having totally meaningless sex.” Buck complained, to which Chim couldn’t understand.

“Yeah that sounds awful.” He replied.

“I’m just saying I want, I need, something different. To get off the hamster wheel, ya know.”

“You could always date a guy.” Chimney suggested. Buck looked at him with a raised brow. “Well you said you wanted something different.”

“I love women. I’ve always loved women.” Buck told him.

“True. Plus you couldn’t get a guys number anyway.” Chim said sipping his beer.

“Uh, I could get anyone’s number.” Buck argued if a little arrogantly. But he absolutely could be charming as hell when he wanted to be, and he had had plenty of men hit on him over the years.

“Wanna make that a bet, Buckeroo!” Chim asked.

“What’s the bet?”

“You get a guys number. I’ll do your hose maintenance checks for a month.” He said.

Buck scoffed. “Easy.”

Chimney caught sight of a familiar face stood at the bar and smirked, deciding to make it more interesting. “But I get to pick the guy.”

Buck raised an eyebrow again. “Who do you have in mind?”

“That guy.” He pointed with his beer bottle to the tall, muscular man at the bar. Buck looked over the the man with deep cleft in his chin. There was something about a cleft that always intrigued him. Sometimes he found himself wondering what it would feel like to put his pinky into one.

“Alright. Prepare for boring hose maintenance, Chim.” He downed the last of his bottle and walked over to the bar.

“Chim?” Hen questioned

“Yeah?” He answered watching Buck walk across the bar.

“Why did you pick Tommy?”

“Because he’s the straightest man in the room. No way Buck will get his number.” He laughed. Hen looked at him with incredulity. “What?” Hen opened her mouth to speak but thought against it.

What Chimney didn’t know was that just before Tommy had left the 118 he’d come out to her. She decided not to say anything to Chim because she didn’t know if Tommys sexuality was public knowledge yet and didn’t want to out him to anybody else, even if it was her best friend.

“Nothing.” She replied, leaning back in her seat to watch Buck.

Buck found his heart rate increasing as he got closer to the man. He stood next to him, eyeing the bottle he had in his hand trying to think of an opener.

“Hey, uh.. what’s that beer like?”

The man’s eyes met Bucks and blinked in surprise for a moment at the dirty blonde in front of him.

“You thinking of changing things up?” He asked.

“I mean I’m happy with what I usually drink, but, I want to keep my options fluid. Have some fun .”

Tommy laughed. “You need to raise your bar, kid.” He smiled and Buck found his stomach doing a weird swoop thing. He dipped his head and looked up at the man. Tommy couldn’t help but smile at the adorable man in front of him.

The man’s smile was soft and honest and Buck felt a surge of guilt. He felt like he was tricking the guy and that wasn’t fair on him.

“Okay, full disclosure, this is my first time flirting with a guy. Don’t look, but my friend Chimney bet me that I couldn’t get a man’s number.” Buck admitted. A look of familiarity came across Tommys face.

“Chimney? You mean Howie?”

“Yeah! Wait you know him?” Buck asked in surprise.

“Know him? He saved my life.” Bucks eyebrows raised in surprise and Tommy explained. “Back when I was at the 118. Big methane leak. He carried me out of the building.”

“Wait, I remember him telling that story.” Buck said remembering.

“Tommy, by the way.” He held out his hand.

“Evan.” Buck shook his hand and held longer than he usually would. Tommy looked down at their joined hands then back up to Buck who blushed and released his grip.

“So, Evan. I think you’ve been had.” Buck looked confused. “I’m gay.” He said plainly.

“Oh.” Buck, for an unidentifiable reason, felt a feeling of relief at hearing that.

“Is that a problem?” Tommy asked.

“What? No! I-I’m an ally. Every year I put a rainbow on my instagram.” He said excitedly.

“Good to know.” Tommy said. “So what do you get if you win the bet?”

“Chim does my hose maintenance checks for a month.”

“Interesting.” Tommy responded before finishing the last of his beer. “Well, Evan. If we’re giving full disclosure - I think you’re adorable. So I’m going to help you win the bet.” Buck found he had to make a little more effort to breath.

“Yeah?”

“Is Howie watching you?” He asked keeping his face towards the bar. Buck subtly looked across at Hen and Chim.

“Yeah. They’re still watching.”

“Good. Hand me your phone.” Buck pulled his phone from his pocket and unlocked it, handing it to Tommy.

“I am going to put my number in your phone. Then, just to mess with him, you’re going to take my arm and walk out of the bar with me. That okay?” He said handing Buck his phone back. Buck felt a whoosh of butterflies come alive in his stomach.

“Y-yeah. That’s o-okay.”

“Good.” Tommy replied taking a step away from the bar. “You ready?” He asked and Buck nodded. He slid his arm around Tommy’s, turning his head to meet the eyes of Hen and Chim. For extra measure he winked and blew them a kiss. Hen had a knowing smile on her face while Chims mouth was agape having no idea how the hell Buck had managed to win the bet.

Ten minutes later Bucks entire world was being flipped upside down by Tommy’s tongue grazing softly along his own as Tommy had him pressed against the door of his car.

[certifiedsexed]

hi! Im 19, a trans man (he/him), and just really confused about my sexuality, and cant find anything on it so im asking you!

My problem is that i know that im attracted to men. Trans men, cis men, im ur regular gay. But the problem i have is that im also attracted to trans women, but not cis women. I see trans women as women and are attracted to their femininity, but i also cant really picture myself with a cis woman. In the same way.

I feel bad for working this way, because i dont want anyone to see me as seeing trans women as men, bwcause i dont, but i also really am not attracted to cis women. Am i a transphobic trans guy??

Hi! I'm not sure how much I can help but I'll do my best, Anon.

Well, I'm not going to discount the possibility you have some transphobia to work through. That could definitely be true and it's always wise to keep working through that and your transmisogyny to keep them in check.

But if you asked me, it just sounds like you like trans people and cis men. Maybe with a preference for men in general. It's okay to say, "Hey, I'm into trans people of any gender and also cis men.", there's no requirement for you to also be into cis women. I know many trans people who's sexualities work like that.

I dunno what that means on how you specifically name your sexuality but I do know that that's perfectly fine. It's fairly common for trans people to be attracted to other trans people, even if they're not attracted to cis people of those genders. Some trans people aren't attracted to cis people at all!

So, keep transmisogyny in mind, always, but there's nothing explicitly wrong with what you're talking about with your sexuality, Anon.

Hope something here helps! Let me know if you have any other questions! <3

[wolfythewitch]

Jesus with a pride flag? Isn’t being gay a sin though? (Genuine question, sorry if it sounds like I’m being mean)

Shrugs. I mean in the current version of the bible, sure, but you have to keep in mind that it's undergone hundreds of revisions (human revisions) as well as translations. There's talk of how the original versions were condemning pedophilia and not homosexuality, so dunno. Not only that but the bible as we know it now might not even be the full collection of texts, there were tons of gospels that were rejected or considered non canon by the church for either not aligning with the current version (or in some cases being written by a woman lmao) Either way, it's hard to subscribe to a belief that a god that supposedly loves all would condemn the LGBT+ community. If you were made in his image, you need not not call it a sin. If anything, it's for me and hundreds other queer christians who constantly have to grapple with that conflict lmao, we like to think Jesus would have been an ally, that he would have loved us

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Medic x M!Reader || Unreliable Nurse

[Hurt/Comfort] [Understanding Medic] [Period Accurate Homophobia/Xenophobia towards Gays/Germans] [Coworkers to Ambiguous] [GORE WARNING]

You were a mercenary. You were hired to kill people day in and out for the gratification of your superiors and you were not allowed to stop until the day your contract ended. Every morning should have been the same- wake up, gear up, shoot up.

So why the hell were you holding your Heavy's torso open with spreaders while your Medic bug around in his organs?! You were supposed to end lives, not mangle them back to life!

"Medic, why am I even here?" You grunt in disgust as Heavy's organs squish against your bare palm. They are disgustingly alive. Should intestines move like that on their own?!

"Well someone has to hold the ribcage open, and my hands are rather busy at the moment!" Medic responded cheerfully. He was right though; both of his hands were what you could only describe as groping Heavy's lungs and heart with a sadistically pleasures look in his eyes.

"Eugh, you look like you're getting off to this." You growled as Medic finally seemed satisfied with his curiosities. The lungs he had installed in Heavy were significantly bugger than your head- would the torso even close up?

"Nonsense, I am a professional- er, mostly." Medic chuckled to himself. He waved your hold away as he healed Heavy back up to his usual hulking self. Well, at least someone seemed happy about the surgery that wasn't an absolute psycho.

You had no idea why you helped Medic clean up after the surgery, you could have left at any time, yet you didn't. Maybe it was because you held a burning question on the tip of your tongue that begged to esca-

"Do you actually get off to like, gore and stuff?"

Shit.

Medic perked up, a quizzical look on his face as he flushed the blood into the storage bags. "Do I really give off that vibe?" He sounded rather genuine in his question too. Fuck, you felt like the world's biggest asshole.

"I mean, Scout seems to think so- plus uh, you do this thing with your face that kinda well-" you stumbled over your words as you swept up the bone fragments into the dustpan at your feet. Bending over, you finally finished your sentence. "I dunno, it just looks like you're some kinda sadist."

Medic shook his head as he placed the bloodbags into the fridge. His eyes flickered over where the Spy head used to be before the enemy Scout stole it back. He was a rather funny conversationalist.

"No, not a sadist in the regard. You all are perfectly safe from me!" Medic attempted to joke. You nodded and gave him a small laugh of acknowledgement.

"Well, I suppose I should tell Scout the good news. He's been spouting about how you've been trying to inject him with homosexual serum to see if you can turn him." You informed him. You and the team knew that Scout was spouting bullshit, but your curiosity to Medics reaction was what pulled you to tell him.

Medic slammed a fist down onto his vivisection table, his expression rather grimly stern.

"I've had it with that ungrateful little brat." He muttered. He looked to you, but when you nodded in understanding, he started to vent. "He's always getting himself into shit, then begging me to fix him back up!" Medic threw his hands up, mocking Scout's voice. "always 'Oh medic, heal me!' 'Oh medic! I broke my arm again!'" Medic growled as he slicked his hair back and sighed. "All while calling me a goddamn nazi when I prioritize Heavy!"

You let Medic rant. Clearly this had been on his mind and weighing on him, if the nervous pacing and dramatic gesturing was anything to go by. Yeah, you had heard Scout make a few jabs about the SS and war camps to Medic, but you never really had gotten involved before- it wasn't your business anyway and Medic could handle himself- so you thought.

"I'm not a fucking nazi! I was sixteen and drafted as a Medic!"

You interrupted Medoc with a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at you, shocked and clearly hurt in his brow.

"Yeah, I'll bust him up for that. Didn't know it was that bad, if I knew I woulda stepped in." You apologized- at least, this was your version of an apology. Medic took a calming inhale before he tried to return you a weak smile.

"I try not to let the words of the youth get to me too much. Hell, do you think he was alive for the war?" Medic laughed weakly.

"Isn't he about 25? Probably was born just on the outskirts of it." You mused. You were a few years older than Scout was, but Medic outmatched you with the streaks of grey in his hair. He shook his head softly with a muttering of "Ah, the blissful ignorance of the young."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I don't think you're a nazi nor do I think you're some weird psychosexual freak trying to turn us all into homos." You promise with a playful punch to Medic’s shoulder. "Besides, you can't turn what's already there, yeah?"

"You're-"

"Mhm, don't go telling anyone though, I could lose a job if that info came out."

You thought it was only for that you were open to Medic, since he was gracious enough to be honest with you.

"I thought I was the only one!" Ah, there was that excitedly happy chirp you were scaredly fond of.

Maybe being an impromptu nurse wasn't so bad after all.

[thelampisaflashlight]

Lakeside

[This got longer than expected. Dew gets introspective with Rain.] Below the cut.

Dew lays sprawled out on the dock, legs dangling off the end just above the water, a hand thrown over his face to block out the sunlight filtering through the clouds, turning his head slightly when he hears Rain approaching and giving a little huff of acknowledgement.

"Feeling alright?" Rain questions, crouching down beside his friend, deliberately leaning over him to cast his shadow over his form.

"Not really, no." Dew mumbles, "I came out here to get some fresh air, but... I dunno. Head hurts from thinking too hard about bullshit, and I just... It's nice out here, cold, but nice. Calm, quiet..."

"Did something happen?" Rain asks, moving to lay down next to him.

"Ehn... Yes and no." he says, closing his eyes and letting his hand fall slack at his side, "Talked to Aether about some stuff... feelings stuff. We're good."

"But?"

"...When you..." Dew bites his lip, "D'you think Mount and me come off a-a certain kind of way?"

Rain rolls onto his side, propping his head up with his palm.

"Like, gay?"

"I mean, I guess that's what I'm..." Dew makes a grumbling noise in the back of his throat, "If I said that wasn't the case, what'd you think?"

"That you're not gay or that the two of you aren't an item?"

"See that's-" The other ghoul finally sits up, running a hand through his hair, "It's not that I'm NOT, ya know, into dudes I'm just... It's complicated, and, like, with Aeth, people thought we were a thing for a while but we weren't, and then with Mount, we're buddies and all, but he isn't into me like that, and he's not totally my type, and I just..."

Dew shakes his head.

"Why is it that when it's ME in these kinds of situations that people think I'm dating my friends?"

Rain shifts and sits up as well, shrugging, "Honestly, I couldn't tell you why. I guess, maybe, people see that you're happy or comfortable around someone and they just assume... You know. That you're into them, maybe."

"But they don't do it when I'm around Cumulus or Cirrus, now do they?" Dew points out, "Why's it only when I'm friendly with a guy?"

The water ghoul clicks his tongue.

"What?"

"Real talk?"

"Noo... Don't do this, come on-"

"Dew, I'm gonna have to level with you." Rain starts, placing a hand on his shoulder, "When you like a woman, it's obvious, yeah?"

"Yeah...?"

"When you like a guy... it's really, really obvious."

Dew scoffs, "No it's not-"

"The waiter at that restaurant in Spain, who you kept eyeballing all night."

"Now hold on, I just wanted free tapas-"

"That time that guy at the bar rolled up his sleeves and you almost passed out because all the blood rushed from your head to your-"

"Hey, that was objectively sexy-"

Rain snorts, "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just saying that compared to how you treat women -which, you know, you're respectful and that ain't a bad thing- you treat men more like... like something you wanna fuck, I guess... I dunno, I wanted to put it more eloquently than that, but that's pretty much the most straightforward way I could think to put it."

Dew tents his fingers, deep in thought.

"So what you're saying is that because I don't objectify women, but DO objectify men... people think I'm gay?"

Rain tilts his head and then shrugs.

"Are you saying you're not gay?"

"NO!" Dew shouts immediately, "I mean, no, but... maybe-Augh! I like both, I guess, I just... with women it's like... Women... ya know? And with men it's like... men."

Rain blinks.

"Jesus Christ..."

"Oi, no need for that kind of language now." Rain jokes, then clears his throat, "I kind of get what you're saying, I guess... You like women, you're attracted to them, but with guys it's more... physical, would you say?"

Dew makes a face and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of pink.

"I mean, yeah... Yeah, that'd be..." he swallows, "When you put it that way, it just sounds so... Don't tell anyone I told you about this."

Rain mimes zipping his mouth shut.

"Your secret is safe with me." he says, "But, Dew, there's nothing wrong with liking men, even if your attraction to them is different from the kind you feel towards a woman..."

"Thanks..."

"No problem."

Rain leans back on his hands.

"Question though."

"If you say something stupid right now, I'll smack you like I did Aether."

"When you think about yourself with a guy-"

"...Are you seriously asking me if I'm a top or a bottom right now?"

Rain gives him a once over before meeting his gaze.

"I was actually asking what your type is, I can already hazard a guess as to-OW! YOU BIT ME-"

[archangeldyke-all]

Sev with a ver nerdy reader. Very loser vibes with glasses and all. Could you write about how they meet and get together? How their relationship would be and what would other think or do about such a contrast couple?? Xxx love youuuuu

aweee i fucking love this

men and minors dni

singed is a mad genius, you'd never deny that. but mad geniuses tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of their revolutionary thoughts and creations, and they leave behind important things like, you know, numbers. or studies. or a general respect for the scientific method.

so while singed spends his days tinkering in his lab, you spend your days sitting beside him, trying to decipher his discoveries into a language people who aren't mad geniuses can understand.

this is just to say: you're a glorified lab assistant.

you don't know how you caught sevika's eye. you're polar opposites.

sevika fights for a living, she can command a room with a single look, and she's got women swooning for her everywhere she goes. you scribble calculations in a basement for a living, sometimes you and singed are so focused that you don't even speak to each other for days at a time, and you're aware that your glasses, frumpy clothes, and lack of awareness when it comes to style don't exactly make you sexy.

but... somehow, you've enchanted her.

you first met a few months ago, when singed brought you along to a meeting with silco to have you help demonstrate a new varient of shimmer.

typically, singed takes these meetings alone. he likes to keep his science life and his shady dealings as separate as possible-- plus, he knows how nervous you get. but, the new variant required at least two pair of hands to properly prepare, and you were kind of hoping to meet silco's elusive kid-genius foster daughter. singed sings her praises on the daily.

jinx, unfortunately, didn't show up, but sevika did. and you nearly shat yourself, because the woman didn't take her sharp gaze off you for the entire demonstration.

afterwards, when you were packing up in the empty office as singed and silco chatted in the bar downstairs, sevika tracked you down. "hey."

you screamed as you turned around, dropping a vial of shimmer on the ground. she chuckled. "f-fuck sorry." she said, holding her hands up. "didn't mean to sneak up on you."

you pushed your glasses up your nose and just shrugged. "'s okay. i-i'm just jumpy." you whispered.

"you're cute." she'd said.

and then, because you've never been able to be normal about anything in your life, you passed out.

so, the start of your and sevika's relationship was a bit tumultuous. she had to spell it out for you, many times, that she finds you endlessly endearing and adorable.

"during that first meeting. singed read something off his notes but didn't understand, so you explained it to him. just you rambling a bunch of nerd shit, but you made it sound so simple, and you had this sweet sparkle in your eye-- i dunno." she shrugs, then pushes your glasses up your nose for you.

you guys actually balance each other out really well. sevika encourages you to have a bit more of a backbone, you help her see the softer side of things.

she's obsessed with your constant nerdy ramblings. she learns so much from you. she can point to anything and ask you about it, and you'll have an answer.

she'd also never admit it to anyone, but she loves your fantasy books. the nerdier and more complex the better. sometimes, she'll have you read whatever book you're reading outloud, and more times than not, she falls asleep within ten minutes to the sound of your voice.

she's constantly pushing your glasses back up your nose for you. if she notices a smudge, she'll gently take them off your face, clean them with the hem of her shirt, then push them back on your face.

she's obsessed with eating you out while you read or work. she likes to watch you struggle to maintain your focus-- which is usually so laser sharp.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676

[shrewfern]

crestfallen

sirius black x reader page count: 3 word count: 1386 /// ‘...and so, we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly —’ “OH, GROSS!” a voice cried from the stairway as the slamming of a heavy door echoed.  Remus inhaled and just as deeply exhaled, the sound of footsteps pounding their way down the stone stairs. Less than five seconds later, a traumatized James appears at the foot of the threshold.  “Moony!” James wailed as he pointed to the stairwell, the annoying aura of that one gross, sticky, smelly kid who wore that zip-up creeper hoodie from elementary school palpable, “Moony, they’re snogging agai-ai-aiinnnnn!!!” “I know,” Remus sighed, putting his book down. And he did know, he’s accidentally walked in on Sirius and [y/n] making out more times than he can count. Be it in the dorm rooms, the common room, the Forbidden Forest, the Quidditch pitch — everywhere! Every-fucking-where! They were practically glued at the tongue! “I know,” Remus repeated with the air of a soldier who buried his heart with his fallen country. “I know.”

Normally during breakfast, Remus could hardly keep his eyes off Sirius. Strangely, though, as of the past few weeks, when [y/n] infiltrated the Marauders, he couldn’t keep his eyes off them. But he didn’t feel the same way he did when he looked at Sirius. No, no, when he looked at Sirius, he felt…warm. Happy. Content with life. But [y/n]?? Fucking [y/n]????? He wanted to tear out their spine and shove it down their Sirius-sucking throat! Like, actually. Who the bitch do they think they are? But, he kept that to himself; it wasn’t very socially acceptable to tear off your boyfriend—I MEAN BOY BEST FRIEND's partner’s nails. So, he sat there, hunched over his...his… What—what is that? Beans on a bagel?? God, British people are a bunch of freaky deakies.  Okay, okay, so he ate his bean bagel and by god was he royally pissed at the mere thought of  Sirius wrapping an arm around this hoe. But that they were actually doing it???? In front of him???? What the actual skibidi toilet??? Sirius should have his arms wrapped around HIM — wait that’s kinda gay tho.

Despite his eternal rage, time moves on. During Potions, Sirius helped [y/n] cut their dandelion roots, even though, “THEY’RE TOTALLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT THEMSELVES,” Remus explained in a loud “whisper” to James and Peter. Somehow both of them were totally oblivious to the fact that [y/n] was clearly taking advantage of his lover – I mean their age-old friend. Yep, friend. Friend, friend, friend. That’s what Sirius is to Remus, a friend. Golly, what a weird word, “friend”. Like, friend? I barely know her! Friend…Sounds weird haha. God, [y/n] is such a fucking dickwad.

Transfiguration. Turning a rabbit into a bo’oh’o’wa’er. Easy, right? WRONG! I dunno, man, shit’s hard when some stupid fucking hoebag is busy fucking giggling in your goddamn ear! “Wdym ‘in your ear’ they’re literally in the seat adjacent to you,” James said plainly. Where the hell James learned the word “adjacent” is a concern beyond Remus’ line of sight. This bitch is literally high-key on god no cap so annoying. Like actually. It’s the kind of annoying where the people in front of you are walking slowly but there’s no way to walk around them so you just have to try to not push them over times a hundred. “Lupin, your rabbit!” A girlish voice behind him squealed. In his train of malicious thought, Remus nearly suffocated the poor thing…It was [y/n]’s fault, though! If they weren’t shrieking like a maniac whenever Sirius breathed in their general direction, he wouldn’t have been so pissed off.

“Ummmm…” [y/n] hums, turning Remus’ porcelain teacup clockwise, glancing at a book every so often. They were reading each other's tea leaves, and for whatever reason, the Divination professor must hate Remus. Why else would she pair him with [y/n]? Fucking [y/n]!  At least they weren’t able to manipulate Sirius now, but still… God damn, [y/n] is such a stupid asswipe. Looking up at him with those STUPID eyes, they said, “Well, here you’ve got a…a spider web over here,” they looked back at their book, “That could represent jealousy…” DAMN RIGHT. “But in it,” they went on, “is a heart.” They looked from the drenched tea leaves to Remus. “Are you jealous of someone?” they asked innocently. Well, innocently enough; Remus could see the snakeish gleam in their eyes — the serpent that lies beneath the innocent flower.  ���ArE yOu JeAlOuS oF sOmEoNe?’ NO YOU DUMB BITCH THAT’S STUPID. Being jealous is for pussies, and by god Remus is NOT a pussy. But y’know who is? [y/n]. Honestly, he could bitchslap that dumdum right here, right now. Who knows, it might be like in the cartoons when someone gets hit in the head a second time and they go back to being themselves. “No, that’s silly,” Remus replied calmly, looking into their pink porcelain teacup.  Crack! Remus is holding [y/n]’s cup so calmly, he accidentally cracked it! Once again, this is obviously [y/n]’s fault! If they weren’t so stupid, he wouldn’t have strangled the cup. I mean, hell, if they didn’t exist, all of the world’s problems would be solved! No more hunger, no more war, no more dating Sirius — Sirius would be single and ready to mingle. Ready to mingle. Ready. To. Mingle. Mingle. Mingle with Remus — wait what. 

The rest of the day continued in a similar fashion: Sirius and [y/n] h*ling h*nds, Remus strangling whatever he was holding, and James and Peter trying to calm Remus down.

Honestly, who the hell do they think they are? (“Remus, a word?”) “You look very pretty today [y/n],” Sirius cooed. (“Remus.”) Remus couldn’t see the appeal. (“Remus?”) Maybe if they ate all that makeup instead of smearing it all over their face, they might actually look tolerable on the inside — “REMUS!”  Remus snapped his murderous gaze from [y/n] to James. “Remus,” James said, gesturing to a corner (the same one Sirius and [y/n] were making out in exactly three hours, twelve minutes, and forty-two seconds ago), “a word?” No response. “Now?” “What?!” Remus hissed once they made it to the corner. “Dude what the actual hell??” “What do you mean what the hell?!” “Moony, you’ve been a total bitch all day!” “Nuh-uh!” “Yes the fuck you have been!” James whispered loudly. “Honestly, you’re being a jealous bitch!” And it was true: Remus has been a total beta all day. In fact, it was more than all day; he’d been a total beta all last week, too. And the week before. And before…and before… Then it hit him: I’m in love with Sirius.  He looked at [y/n]. They were in Sirius’ lap, a loving smile plastered across their stupid face. But it wasn’t just their lips curled in adoration, it was their eyes too. Their eyes were love-sick as they looked at Sirius.  Remus’ heart fell; Sirius had the same look on his gorgeous face when he looked at [y/n]. At [y/n].  And so, there Remus stands, the ugly scowl that crossed his horrendous, scar-drawn face when he looked at [y/n] tilted into a frown. The eyes that had gone green with envy softened as water threatened to break through them. He loved Sirius and couldn’t stand the thought of him being with someone else, yet here he is. He clumsily picked up his heart as it lay there dying.  Honestly, why was he even making such a big deal about any of this? He was a werewolf for crying out loud, a werewolf! Who on this god-forsaken earth would want to even think about being with him — hugging him, holding his hand, welcoming him home after a long night’s work with a warm smile, placing a kiss on his scarred lips. Why would someone even think about laughing at his stupid jokes, dancing the rainy night away to some slow jazz, holding him late at night, not caring that he was a grotesque beast.  Why would anyone even think about looking at him…looking at him the way Sirius looks at [y/n]? Remus loved Sirius, but it was too late. With a defeated sigh, Remus turned his pitiful gaze from his fargone lover to James. “I know,” Remus murmured, burying his heart with his fallen love.

[nonotnolan]

Soul Stones: The Easy Life

“Jordan-- I mean, Alfie-- what are you doing here?”  It was weird seeing my roommate’s body on the couch, playing videos games.  It had only been a few days since my roommate somehow swapped bodies with one of the team’s official tutors, and I was still struggling to get his name right.  "Do you think being an athlete is easy?  Just because Football season’s over, it doesn’t mean you get to slack off!  I thought you were going to the gym today?”

He responded by rolling his eyes at me.  “I did, okay?  I drank the stupid shake, and I lifted weights for... I dunno, fifteen minutes.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of a round?”

“No, you’re not excused!”  I grabbed the remote, shut off the TV, and threw the remote back onto the couch.  “What happens when Jordan gets his body back, but he loses his spot on First String Defense because you’re too busy playing fuckin’ Fall Guys, of all games?”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started talking to me without making eye contact.  Dunno if he was too nervous to make eye contact with me, or what, but since the real Jordan would have been up close and in my face yelling at me, it really hit home that I was dealing with a different person.  “Look, Tanner... I’m doing my best, okay?  I don’t know what I’m doing!  I don’t know how to gain muscle-- how many reps, how much weight, what routine, which foods?  I’m an Engineering student.  I don’t know the first thing about Health Science, and I can’t even ask for help because no one will take me seriously when I look like this!  Also, in case you had forgotten, I’m not the one who absconded with someone else’s body.”

“I... Alfie, I’m sorry.”  I had to admit, he had a point.  I just assumed he would know enough about fitness to keep Jordan’s body in shape, but... why would he?  Alfie was a super skinny dude.  “Look, what if... I’m done with classes today, right?  What if we both go to the gym?  Everyone will think we’re just two bros talkin’ gym talk, and I can teach you what you need to know.  Sound good?”

A wave of relief washed over him.  “I would really appreciate that,” he said, smiling at me.  “It actually seems kinda fitting.  With as much tutoring as you’ve gotten from me, it feels a bit like a trade.”

-----------------------------------------------

The proofs from my first professional photoshoot were back, and I was loving the results.  In my old life, the only time anyone ever wanted to photograph me, it was for the football team.  Massive shoulders, threatening posture, harsh expressions, deep shadows... everything I hated about masculinity.  But here?  Here I was slender, stylish... and handsome.  Cute, even.

All I ever wanted was to make people happy.  Growing up in the Texas suburbs as I did, that meant playing football.  By the time I figured out the difference between what I wanted and what others wanted for me, I was already 200 pounds of solid muscle.  And once I figured out that I was also a gay man?  Well, I didn’t see the point in getting disowned by all of my friends and family until after I had a steady career to my name.

So when the weirdo at the antique store told me about the body swapping stones, I couldn’t help but daydream about being someone else.  I mean, of course I was skeptical... but they were only $5.  Honestly, I had forgotten they were even sitting on my desk until Alfie asked me about them.  Tanner’s Chemistry mid-term was the next day, so Alfie was in our room, trying to give him a crash course on the five weeks of material he’d skipped.

I just told him they were paperweights, of course-- who’s dumb enough to believe in magic?  But when he picked one up and started tracing the grooved carvings with his thumb, well... maybe I was dumb enough to believe.  I hadn’t told anyone else about them, so if they didn’t work, no one would have any reason to laugh at me.  But if they did work... if there was even a chance... this was my moment.  I took a deep breath, and pressed my index finger onto the polished agate.  By the time Alfie realized he was no longer sitting next to Tanner, I had grabbed the other stone off of my desk and ran out of the room.

I don’t even feel guilty about it, to be honest.  We had followed each other on Instagram back at the start of the year, so I’ve been able to use that to spy on Alfie as he lives my old life.  That is not the face of someone who is unhappy with the way things shook out.  He’s even managed to bag a girlfriend so, like... good for him.  I wish him the best.  It’s the least I can do for stealing his life.

As for me?  Well, I really hadn’t thought too far ahead-- honestly, I’d kept the stones in case I needed a safety net-- but it turns out that Alfie’s parents are crazy loaded and crazy supportive.  When I told them I was thinking about changing majors to something in the Fine Arts, they didn’t even blink.  Hell, they bought me a new apartment downtown, and offered to pay for the transfer to a different college next semester.

I think I might still take some business courses, just in case I need to fall back on something a bit more dependable, but... in the meantime, I’ve been trying to pursue both modeling and photography.  Maybe I’ll hit it big, maybe I won’t... but for once in my life I’m setting aside the grindstone and putting my happiness first.

[p4rallel-universe]

brokeback

(Lip Gallagher x male reader)

summary: when Ian leaves the club for good, he brings home a friend from work to crash at the Gallagher house for a bit. Lip is drawn to him a bit more than he'd like to admit, and he isn't sure what it means.

"who's this?" Lip questions as he enters the gallagher house to find Ian on the couch and next to him, another guy of a seemingly similar age. a few bags are on the floor between them. the guy looks sheepish as Ian speaks up.

"this is Y/N, we worked together at the club. left that place for good and he decided to join me. he's gonna stay here for a bit, i'll take care of him though. don't worry about it." Ian explains and Lip nods, lighting up a cig as he walks to the kitchen. "good to meet you," he mumbles as he walks off, and you sigh in relief.

you felt awful, really, intruding on your friends house like this, but when Ian announced he was sick of being thrown around like a piece of meat at the club and was going to leave for good, you figured you'd follow. tips weren't nearly as good as they used to be, so they stopped making up for the whole starving-yourself-just-to-be-groped-by-old-guys thing. you didn't have a plan for leaving. no family and no friends who weren't in similar situations, so Ian suggested you crash at his family's place till you figure it out. Ian could be crazy unhinged, but he was a damn good friend.

Ian invites you upstairs and you pick up your stuff, it isn't much, but it proves to be quite heavy. you see Ian's brother - you're sure his name is Phil or something - in the kitchen. he's in an off white wife-beater drinking orange juice from the carton and you notice his arms are pretty nice. then you realise lusting after your friends brother who you're staying with for the forseeable probably isn't smart.

you decide to get an early night, Ian helps you settle in and says goodnight. you can't thank him enough for it all, really. he leaves to head downstairs as you try get some sleep.

"so, new friend, huh?" Lip asks Ian as they share a cig on the back porch,

"yeah, he used to be a dancer at the club, same as me," Ian explains as he takes a puff,

"so we got another gay under the gallagher roof then?" Lip jokes with a bit too much intensity and he cringes, because he doesn't mean it that way, "i feel like a dick, you know, not saying hi or anything."

"nah don't worry about it, he's just glad you didn't throw him out the second you saw him." this makes Lip smile and he doesn't know why,

"cool." he says, tossing the burnt-out cig and heading inside. and when he walks past his old room where Y/N is asleep he pretends he doesn't want to crack open the door and check on him. and when he tries to sleep he hopes the fact he can't stop thinking about another guy doesn't mean anything.

the next morning Y/N comes downstairs ready to make a better impression, Lip is at the breakfast table, just about the leave when he sees you.

"hey," Lip nods to you and Y/N greets him back, "you want some of this? i gotta leave soon anyway."

when Lip passes Y/N the plate their hands brush and Lip's lingers for a bit longer than it maybe should've. when Y/N looks right in his eyes he feels too strange not to leave right there. so he does, and Y/N is left at the table, flustered and very confused. and maybe a bit too hopeful.

Ian is outside on the porch drinking a beer when Y/N finds him and sits with him. Ian offers the bottle and Y/N takes it, taking a sip and grimacing.

"tastes like the club." you joke and Ian chuckles taking another swig, "so, your brother- Phil?"

"Lip." he corrects,

"yeah, Lip, what's his deal anyway?" you ask, trying not to sound too curious, and the look Ian gives you makes you think you didn't do a very good job.

"what d'you mean?" he looks at you, puzzled,

"i dunno, he seems...edgy? like nervous, he practically threw himself out the door when i came down for breakfast." you joke and take another sip of the cold drink you're sharing,

"huh, doesn't sound like Lip...maybe he's into you" Ian gives you a look and you both burst into a fit of laughter. Ian is laughing because the idea of his own brother liking another guy AND getting flustered around him is a joke in his mind. Y/N is laughing because he's not sure what else to do when he can't help but feel drawn to his new temporary roommates very attractive, very enigmatic, very straight brother.

on the other side of the city, Lip throws a book across an empty room because he can't get you out of his head. when he picks the textbook up off the ground, he isn't sure if he recognises the hands infront of him.

that night, Lip gets home late. it's dark outside and in the Gallagher house. dark and strangely, quiet. Ian's already upstairs in bed, having an early night. Lip sniffles from the cold and takes his jacket off, throwing it over the couch, when he flicks on the room light, he sees Y/N sat at the kitchen island.

Lip nods to him because he's not sure what else to do, "couldn't sleep", Y/N says and offers the cigarette in his hands over to Lip, who walks over and tentatively takes it, bringing it to his lips. he's still close enough now that when he exhales, the smoke blows into Y/N's face. Lip's eyes shine bright in the still-dim light.

Lip flicks the cig away, not caring where it lands and Y/N's brow furrows until Lip grabs his face and slams his lips onto his. it's rough and messy because Lip is scared and Y/N is surprised. it would hurt a lot more if they both hadn't secretly craved it for days. when Lip pulls away his blue eyes look apologetic and just as he plans to brush the whole thing off, apologise, it was his bad, and take off upstairs or outside or anywhere else, Y/N grabs his face again and pulls him into a much more gentle kiss.

it's still a bit aggressive, but deliciously so. Lip's hands aren't sure where to go until they find themselves on Y/N's back. and he feels steady, and strong. and okay. this is okay. when Y/N's hands tenderly tangle themselves in his hair they both smile into the kiss.

when they finally part, their eyes both shine in the dim light with the kind of happiness you can only get from a night like this. with dim light, and a guy you can't stop thinking about. and everything smells and tastes of cigarette smoke.

and when they both go to sleep that night, they can finally close their eyes.