#I mean he's been mean to Akutagawa but he wouldn't be CRUEL right after he died for him

[sskk-manifesto]

If Bones had to change the Atsushi / Ango scene they could as well have told us what it's been of Rashomon

[lnkedmyheart]

thoughts on the akutagawa and chuuya stage play scene? i've seen people say while it was harsh of chuuya to say, it was a reality/wake up call for akutagawa.

This is such a complicated thing to answer, because of everything that happens in da. It'll be a bit long.

If you ask me, I think its just how Chuuya is. He isn't this gentle calming presence people present him as, he's confrontational and rude and sucks at communication. As I keep saying about Dazai, Chuuya is a mentally unstable guy who has no concept of being open and vulnerable with people. He doesnt sit them down and talk to them. He is the aloof older brother who cares about you and tries but sort of sucks at pep talk so he just shoves you in the right direction but he'll be there to catch you if you fall. The softness people want from him? That's just not him.

In the da stageplay Chuuya tries to get Akutagawa to realise that Dazai is once again not the be all end all of his existence. That he doesnt need to fixate on getting his approval. The problem with Aku is that he has this idea of Dazai in his head and looks upto Dazai because he gave him and Gin a shot at life. Chuuya then tells Aku to go and kill Dazai because Dazai is directly involved with Shibusawa, note that Chuuya is well aware that Aku cannot actually kill him considering Aku's ability has seperated from him and Dazai is immune to the fog. Aku insists that that isnt true because Dazai wants to save the city not destroy it so clearly he cannot be working with the enemy. And then Chuuya laughs at him because Aku genuinely believes he knows Dazai better than Chuuya. I feel like the mission to kill Dazai is symbolic in that Aku needs to kill the desire to please Dazai, or atleast kill the idea of Dazai that he has in his head. Aku is putting Dazai on a pedestal, stripping him of all his faults. Except Chuuya (and the audience) knows that Dazai is infact involved with Shibusawa and was partly responsible for the events of da even if his end goal was good. Chuuya then tells Aku that he doesn't understand Dazai because there is a darkness inside Dazai that he refuses to see and is instead idealizing the guy as having flipped a switch and become a good person. (This darkness btw pops out whenever Dazai interacts with Aku even post defection since he is still cruel to him and instead of seeing this as a flaw in Dazai he sees it as his own personal failure). Finally Chuuya tells him that the reason Dazai probably doesn't acknowledge him is because he is just constantly running after Dazai to gain his approval and that he himself has never looked up to Dazai.

Again note that Aku knows that Dazai, despite their banter, acknowledges Chuuya as powerful and capable. Regardless of whether or not he is aware of the sheer intensity of their actual dynamic its kinda hard to act like people wouldn't have noticed how capable Dazai considers Chuuya. And Aku does look up to Chuuya as well.

And Chuuya then taunts him because Aku tries to attack Chuuya for mocking his obsession with Dazai. Aku then says he will fulfill the mission and promises to come after Chuuya next. He's finally been motivated to focus on himself instead of Dazai now. The thing here is that Chuuya is harsh. He is deliberately being harsh because Aku is so deep in his own head that he needs to be shaken up and needs reality to smack him in the face (think the dhc punch Dazai needed to snap out of his spiral). Dazai is not this perfect dude just because he left the mafia, Dazai's own demons (the darkness/monster within him) will always exist to a degree and that doesn't mean Dazai's mistreatment of Aku is due to a personal failure on Aku's end but rather a Dazai problem.

I think there is a general disconnect between Aku and Chuuya when it comes to Dazai. Chuuya usually doesnt make excuses for Dazai. He says it like it is. He knows Dazai is fully capable of doing good but he also acknowledges that Dazai has a darkness within him that sometimes guides him to do shit that is very much not okay. He doesn't see Dazai as a monster but he knows there is something messed up within him. Aku refuses to see that. Much like how Dazai refused to see the darkness within Oda and put him up on a pedestal.

I also think its important to consider that Chuuya doesn't actually want Aku to kill Dazai, its more just a symbolic speech and an attempt to get him to see sense, start acting like his own person rather than someone desperately seeking Dazai's attention. Especially cause Chuuya literally risks everything to save Dazai's life later.

And its just hilarious how people ignore the final part of their da stage play interaction. When Aku shows up where Chuuya is post fight he is still a bit pissy and its Chuuya who smiles and reaches out to him. And this time he is pretty gentle with him. Dazai has been saved, Yokohama is safe, Aku has proven his strength by focussing on himself, not Dazai, and getting back his ability.

Chuuya then jokes about how Aku still seems mad about Chuuya calling him weak and Aku pretends to brush it off. Chuuya then tells him that Aku was always a part of Dazai's plan against Shibusawa, aka Dazai relies on him and therefore does think him capable. When that doesnt do much he tells him that as Dazai's partner he knows Dazai approves of him despite not showing it. And even if Dazai didnt, Chuuya will always see him as capable.

Dazai and Chuuya are not opposites. They understand each other because they are that similar. Just because Dazai was a shitty and extremely harsh mentor doesn't mean Chuuya would be the ideal mom figure. Chuuya is also harsh and sucks at communicating and just as much of a mystery.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Someone on Twitter said its possible that atsushi and akutagawa will have to fight to the death not because of their agreement but because Fukuchi will make them regardless of their wishes. What are your thinking thoughts on this matter

I mean, isn't that literally what's happening right now???? At least half of it is, because Akutagawa is definitely fighting Atsushi to kill. On this front, I find it kinda poetic actually: Fukuchi already tried to make Akutagawa kill Atsushi once, and Akutagawa refused of his own free will, and now Fukuchi stripped Akutagawa of his ability to make decisions to force him to kill Atsushi once again. It's cool, thematically. It also highlights how Akutagawa would never kill Atsushi of his own accord, which is something nice to be remembered about.

I think it'd be very cool to see them fight because sskk fights are always juicy and it's been the longest time since they actually fought against each other, so I wouldn't mind that; but I don't think it'll end with either of them killing the other right now because... Idk, it'd be anticlimatic and kinda meaningless. Atsushi definitely can't die right now because he is the kinda-protagonist. Killing Akutagawa would feel empty because, I mean, he's already dead, and anyway it would result a bit cruel on Atsushi's end, after they've just remembered the readers how Akutagawa sacrificed himself to let Atsushi live. And besides, I think if sskk really have to fight to death, it needs to be a fight to close the manga, because... They're so complementary, I just can't see the manga going on without one of the; that's still my main argument against Akutagawa not coming out of this arc dead, because really, although technically it doesn't make any sense for him to survive, from a narrative standpoint for the story to go on without Atsushi's other half would just feel very lacking and unsatisfactory. But then again, I'm a sskk enthusiast, so please keep in mind I could be misleaded in judging how important the sskk bond is to bsd's core ahah.

Rambles aside, right now by the looks of it it seems like they're going for the route of Atsushi calling Akutagawa out of his slumber, rather than having one of them kill the other. That would be satisfying, thematically; to have Atsushi save Akutagawa like Akutagawa saved him, so that they're even, perfectly complementary like they're meant to be <3

[hanemiso]

REMEMBER ME .

… akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader .

synopsis … akutagawa has been struggling to come to terms with your accident. he can’t seem to face you, so he resigns to watching over you while you sleep.

genre … angst, fic

a/n … this was inspired by the song “happy accidents” by saint motel. i really do think akutagawa is perfect for this kind of angst and i was genuinely so excited to write this one.

“Why have you been coming here and watching me sleep?”

You stare at the individual remaining in the shadows of your hospital room. Within the confines of darkness, his face almost fit to resign in anonymity. But the sliver of moonlight drawn across his pale features reveals someone you don't recognize, yet your heart blooms with familiarity.

“Even with your memory gone, you ask the most unnecessary questions.”

Akutagawa didn't mean to get caught. On most nights, he was the most cautious, more so than he was on missions. He doesn't know when or how, but it seems that you had been anticipating his visits. Only tonight did you confront him, and he was forced to face reality; the cruel world he is forced to reside in, once again mocking him in the wake of happiness. No such thing can exist in this world curated for him. He knows it well.

"You say that like you know me." You raise a brow at him.

A crack stirs in an already shattered frame. Yet, he expected no less. Though he hadn't imagined this scene playing out in his head before, Akutagawa knew what was to come. And though he did— he does— know you, he lets the comment blow through the air.

To Akutagawa, this room is a weight he's tethered to. No matter how many times he walks away, he always returns. It's like the red thread he was bound to cut ties anew, reinforcing this god-forsaken hospital takes hold in his mind.

He doesn't have anything to say to you, nor did he ever have the desire to find the right words. Yet, he cannot seem to hold back the burning question in his mind.

"You don't remember."

"Remember what? You? Am I supposed to?"

Your answer did not lessen his concern, though it was direct enough to confirm his thoughts. A growl bubbles in Akutagawa's throat as the frustration builds. It had been quite some time since the last time he had relished in your loving gaze, yet he can remember it like it was yesterday. It was something he always took for granted, but he'd rather eat his own shoe than admit it.

Akutagawa never thought he'd fall victim to unrequited love. He hated it. He loathed the idea of love alone, claiming it foolish for a man to wish upon; and yet, he resigned to it. You found him, and you wouldn't leave him alone, even when he threatened you. And soon, he found himself enjoying your presence. He opened up his obsidian heart enough to let you in, though he never found it possible before.

But not even his worst nightmares could've prepared him for this. It hurt like hell, not being recognized by the one you love. It ached more than the coughs that racked through his body. It was more damaging than a bullet wound. A wound of the heart— a vital organ, it was the most foolish Akutagawa had been.

To succumb to a weak heart's desire; how shameful of him.

His silence raised your suspicions. You slowly sit up straight in bed, moving as if cautiously gauging a predator's aggression. Though he wore a glare as cold as ice, his pursed lips held secrets to his true thoughts.

"Wait...do I know you?" You ask.

He narrows his eyes at you. A question so innocent, yet it taunts him as an everlasting reminder. In this very moment, Akutagawa wishes he had never met you. He had pondered it before, if things would've been better if you two had never met. And now he was sure. He wouldn't be able to feel such things if you had just passed him up. He wouldn't have to remain in this hospital room and face your foreign gaze if you would have stayed away from him.

After a couple seconds of silence, Akutagawa scowls, "Tch. Forget it. This is a waste of time."

He shouldn't have come here. He should just walk away for good, like he has tried so many times before. But killing his emotions proved to be harder than it used to be, when he finds your mug sitting on the kitchen counter. Or when he sees your clothes hanging in the closet. When he smells your perfume lingering on his coat.

“Then why are you here..?”

Akutagawa goes quiet; why is he here? He wonders the same.

Staring at your vacant eyes, holding no remnants of him, he can’t bring himself to answer. He wants to walk away again— it’d be best for you both— but he can’t.

This is when Akutagawa can’t stand his own stubbornness. His unmoving heart can’t find the right words to say, but his mouth moves faster than he can think.

“You love me…but you don’t know it yet.”

It comes out like a whisper in the wind, but you can faintly hear it. It was a mistake to come here, he knows this. And it was foolish of him to express these emotions wallowing in his aching bones.

It was a vexing tale that neither of you knew the meaning of. The words pounded in your head, as if a heavy stone had now been placed in your mind.

The pain in his voice makes it hard not to believe him. But before Akutagawa can reveal anymore, he's gone from your eyes. The window curtains sway in the wind, the tail of a black coat catching your eye as it vanishes.

He knows it in his heart of hearts, why he always comes back. It's because he simply can't forget you, the way you forgot him.

taglist … @anotakugardener @qupiidx @pcytheeve @glumii @darlingimawitch @youha-x @sonder-paradise @allisonlol @nameless-shrimp @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15 @rirk-ke @beomluvrr @pompompurin1028 @nullified-kiss @sebtomm @missrown @jadegreenimmortality @chuuyasboots @scul-pted @yoriyoimiya @tamakislover @irethepotato @arixsux @beautiful-is-boring

[parkchuuya]

Foreword: The interpretation better known as unpopular opinion by the blogger seeks to give the reader another point of view but mainly to share the blogger's thoughts. It does not necessarily mean to disregard other opinions from the experts. The blogger is just a casual fan who in many reasons can't put down a pen. It may or may not resonate with your own interpretation. If it doesn't, I apologize. Just scroll down. But if it does, welcome to the club.

Date Written: June 3, 2020

Atsushi and Akutagawa has always been ride or die for Dazai.

Dazai's kids are more rampaging than Odasaku's orphans. They just don't go well together. In fact, they would be willing to kill each other when lazily pushed. But these two no matter how much hatred they have, they could create a blast when they work together, so yes Dazai being a fan of "teamwork makes the dream work". But it was not that these two were made for each other to be a younger version of Double Black. In fact, their representation to their senior is much more than just a Shin Soukouku. They both reminded Dazai of his past and present and possibly future.

Back in his Port Mafia days, it's always been fight or die so Akutagawa had to be strong or stronger in order to live because that's Port Mafia. Imagine having the power to control the underground, you have to be strict and merciless and more authorative. Akutagawa's health is crucial that's why Dazai had to break his bones before anyone could kill him for good. This rather cruel treatment Akutagawa received from his mentor crafted a somewhat goal to him as his motive to fulfill the standards Dazai had set. It became his ultimate goal that later gone wrong and bloomed a feeling of anger and hatred. This became more intense when Dazai had gone MIA, abandoned his mission, and left Port Mafia. It's as if Akutagawa had lost all strands of hopes he was willing to build to get that approval and of course who wouldn't get hurt like that. He's ghosted.

But did he really not care about his eldest son?

I think Dazai purposely left that kind of impression to Akutagawa so he would hate him and continue to get stronger and one day prove to him how he gotten strong; and that he would match his soon-to-be partner in crime, Atsushi my baby. That's why whilst fighting his own demons, Dazai managed to escape before anyone could notice that he's sinking... and he wanted Akutagawa to apply all he has taught him since day 1 and one day, be able to finally realize what it meant to be "strong".

On the other hand, Dazai had to tame the beast and recruit him to become a member of Armed Detective Agency. While Akutagawa is in the dark side, Atsushi with his naive, innocent and pure posture needs to be on the lighter side since opposite attracts. Dazai knows Akutagawa will do everything to surpass his goals so he thought he should be fine in the Port Mafia- secretly hiding his intention of preparing the two as mini double black version for the bloody battle against Fyodor the rat Dostoyevsky. As a detective, Dazai's treatment to Atsushi is soft compared to Akutagawa who sufferred in a lot of killings. By murdering people, Akutagawa had somehow found a reason to live not for himself but also for his sister, Gin. Unlike Akutagawa, Atsushi was more vulnerable, more tender that if he's been told to kill himself, he would arguably, eventually rather do over a period of unfortunate time. So Dazai had to carefully mold him and build barriers to Atsushi's fragile vessel sans giving him the idea of being "privileged".

That does mean different treatment means biased?

I don't think that's the case.

Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era, Chapter 3

In the Dark Era, when Odasaku asked Dazai about his subordinate Akutagawa I was convinced that Dazai already  "approved" Akutagawa's strength because if not, then there's no need for him to passively invite him in Port  Mafia. There's no need to waste time of hard training without special treatment. And the question still lingered at the tip of my tongue waiting to recall of what we known as an excuse or "reason". I think Dazai saw Akutagawa in him. No emotion at all. Just a powerful stray dog running around the alley slums, doing everything to survive. He's filled with anger and revenge and that's what keeps driving him to hold on. Even if it's cruel, even if it's painful. Back to history, Dazai Osamu appreciated Ryunosuke Akutagawa and he looked up to him so bad that it affected him when the latter committed suicide. This drove the aspiring author to follow the footsteps of his idol. In BSD, their roles are reversed. It was Akutagawa who was longing for Dazai's appreciation and Akutagawa seems not a fan of his mentor's suicidal habits.

The rather odd truth I found by their relationship was simply assuming. The retrospect taught me to look again in another point of view. Akutagawa is Dazai's past self, emotions, feelings, even boredom. He reminds him of what was the smell of bloodlust and violence again before he realized it was too late. It seems he "hates" Akutagawa because he still could not forgive himself for what happened though no one was saying it's easy. But after the exasperating fight with The Guild, he pulled off his mentor status and finally after a long period of time, he delivered the words by himself in person, "You've gotten strong", a few words enough for Akutagawa to realized Atsushi was right all along and his view of the world was twisted and wrong. Dazai knows it was the only resolution to pave a way for Akutagawa's character development and it needs to be him as his superior.

I think the miscommunication between these two were  notably shown. It was like:

For Dazai: Action speaks louder than words; but

For Akutagawa: The pen is mightier than the sword.

Akutagawa's jealousy or should I say, envy as we follow the chapters and the episode was enormous that it blinded him from the very path he wanted to take. The paces became blurry and muddy it was like he stepped directly on a quicksand and he forgot what he should do at times of chaos that killing is not always the right solution. This is why Dazai could not reach him in the first season's ending song. He does not know when enough is enough and because they were both a shadow of darkness in the past, there was only one boat eligible for one person and Dazai chose to save no one nor himself. This could also explain at least for me, when Dazai touched Atsushi's head, Akutagawa cried in blood. The blood represents his anger saturated with confusion and betrayal. Why did it have to be Atsushi and not him. But this could also explain that the both of them were submerging and they needed someone whose heart is strong no ability could ever tear, someone whose soul is pure and innocent. Someone who understands both good and evil but proceeded with kindness. He did not choose between them. He simply sought salvation and by faith, he met Atsushi.

Changing the focus to Atsushi, who's been tortured in his childhood, tormented, and broken, he was way unfortunate than the both of them. For the sake of his mental health, Dazai had to guide him into the light even though it means staying with him in the present. He even let himself captured by the Port Mafia to obtain information regarding the 7 billion bounty put on Atsushi's head. If someone asks me, I think he's already melting the brick facade he built for himself and Atsushi was the only one who notices that he's trying to get better. Atsushi is the living proof of Odasaku's last words, to be on the side that saves the poor because his life will at least get better, that is... if you're trying to live. Why did he obey Odasaku aside from the fact that he was his only true friend? Wasn't it because he felt guilty or he's just sentimental? No. It's because... he actually wanted to taste how living actually is. And he did. Now, things are going to change. For him, for Akutagawa and also for Atsushi.

And for Dazai, he caught himself tangled by Atsushi's healing abilities. He reminds Dazai of the beauty of the world without violence. Atsushi's view might find argumentative but at least it's philisophical. Atsushi always find the right words whenever Dazai talks to him. A simple nod, and "yes" brought a slight suprise to him. It's Atsushi's nature that even knowing the good and evil, Atsushi wish to perceive good and kindness. And to this extent, the rotten past Dazai was trying to conceal felt a permission to be forgiven. It took only one touch in the forehead for him to approve of Atsushi and as he tried to get along with him, he is also learning and developing. Atsushi might open doors for Dazai and also for Akutagawa to completely move forward.

After the war shin sokoukou had gone through, Dazai showed us that these two when guide together, is like a perfect harmony that without realizing, compliment each others' strength and value thus also discrediting his contribution, for us to realize that one does not need any appreciation or recognition to realize your own worth.

You are worthy and it's something you should NEVER ask validation from nor apologize for.

That's all for today, I'm beat, notice me Chuuya senpai ;-;

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