#I mean he probably has moral reservations but it being more of a private thought vs how upset he's at Dongrang is so funny

[offshore-brinicle]

Objectively funny that through so much of Canto IV Yi Sang is critical of K Corp and completely off-put and disgusted by Dongrang's callous behavior to the point that animosity is everywhere in their actions until the end of the dungeon but then with Dongbaek and the Technology Liberation Alliance he has zero reaction to them bombing and killing beyond speculating about how she convinced all of these people to join her in the observation logs and instead blames K Corp basically

Like literally everyone else are the ones pointing out how the TLA it's fucked up and arguing with them but dude has nothing to say and doesn't really criticize Dongbaek for what she does other than point out things and even lowkey goes "if I was in her place I'd probably do that too" in his logs. Yi Sang is a devout advocate for Women's Wrongs

[aliwritesfic]

Night Shift Part 3 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Summary: Yours and Frankie’s weekends take very different turns

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Emotionally abusive relationship, very brief mention of drug use, drinking, T*m D*vis makes an appearance

Part 1 Part 4

Frankie slept better that week than he had in months. Every night was long, uninterrupted, mercifully dreamless sleep. The diner had done exactly what he had hoped. When he awoke that Saturday afternoon, he felt better than he had in ages. He hummed while he rummaged through the refrigerator, grabbing out some leftover padthai and throwing it in the microwave.

Each night that week, a routine between you and him had formed. You’d work, barely exchanging words until the dinner rush was completed, then you’d make him a coffee and he’d make you something to eat. You’d requested something different each night, and each night you’d spoken to him a little more. Some nights you were in a better mood than others, but he quickly realised it wasn’t personal against him.

He found he was a little disappointed when he woke up that afternoon and remembered that it was his day off. If he was being honest with himself, he’d grown to enjoy your company. Something about you intrigued him, made him want to get to know you more.

Frankie spent getting stuff together for poker night with the boys. It was his turn to host, so all he had to do was make sure that his dining room table was clear and his portable speaker was charged. 

While he got ready, his mind kept wandering back to you.

He thought of the way you had a different smile for certain customers. The truly genuine one was reserved for only a select few of your favourites. He felt himself hoping that one day you’d give him one of those smiles, instead of the one that didn’t really reach your eyes and disappeared quickly. 

He thought of how when the diner was quiet, you’d lean against the counter and sip your coffee, your gaze firmly out the window. 

He thought of how when your shift ended and you checked your phone, your face would change for just a fraction of a second before you’d say goodbye and rush out the door. 

Jesus fucking Christ, he thought, do I have a crush?

Frankie hadn’t had a crush since high school, when he had finally had the guts to ask out Portia Inglewood. That relationship had lasted until he left the military, and brought all the emotional baggage with him.

A loud banging on the door knocked him out of his thoughts. 

“Cat!” Benny didn’t wait for Frankie to open the door. “We’re here, and we have beer!”

“You know where it goes,” Frankie called back. 

Santi grinned at his best friend and handed him a beer. “How’s the new job?”

“It’s exactly what I need right now,” Frankie told him. Santi nodded in understanding. They all had their own ways of dealing with what they carried. “Plus, the extra cash doesn’t hurt.”

Frankie didn’t want money - he had plenty from when he’d do private jobs with Santi. If he ever became desperate, he knew he could just join Santi on his next job. 

“Well, extra cash or not, I’ll always be the hottest person you’ve ever worked with,” Santi winked, making Frankie roll his eyes.

“Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, man.” Frankie laughed. 

The night progressed in a haze of pizza and beer and poker. Will lost money to Tom, and Tom promptly lost it all to Benny. Santi told the group about the new girl he was seeing, some French expat over stateside for a few months. Benny double checked everyone was coming to the fight next weekend. Tom revealed that he and the girls were moving to Ohio to be closer to Molly’s parents. The boys promptly began planning a going away party, which would basically just be another poker night but with more beer and possibly a cake.

Any worries Frankie held seemed to melt away on nights like these. At one point, he briefly wondered what you were doing and if you were thinking of him too. Yep. Definitely a crush.

~*~

You didn’t like Kurt’s friends. Unfortunately, you were stuck spending your Saturday night with them crowded in your apartment, loud and disrespectful as hell. It didn’t matter to them that you’d asked time and time again could they please go outside to smoke, could they please put their beer bottles in the recycling bin, could they please not use your nice plates to do coke on. 

If your grandfather could have seen you now, he would’ve called you a push-over. You hated that you had become this person - afraid to stick up for yourself in your own home. Hell, you didn’t even know at what point you’d become this person. It just seemed to happen over the five years you’d been dating Kurt.

You had lost yourself in trying to be what he wanted.

With a sigh, you sealed yourself away in the bedroom with a bag of Doritos and your phone, wishing you could call your grandfather. You still had his number in your phone. Occasionally, you’d look at it, the numbers seared into your brain. 

Instead of calling the now disconnected number, you settled for messaging Sara. She was one of your only remaining friends from high school, and knew as much about your feelings as you were willing to let on. The thing was, you knew what she would say if you told her how you felt every single day. How lost, how hopeless you felt. She’d tell you to leave, forget Kurt and all the years with him, but to you it wasn’t that simple. 

Part of you still loved him, despite everything, and that part remained hopeful that you and Kurt could fix the fractures in your relationship. Plus, a voice in the back of your head told you he was right when he said he was the only one who could ever love you. 

Being alone, unloved, was one of your deepest fears.

This was one of the nights you actually missed being at the diner. You missed the lemon scented countertops, the radio that seemed to be permanently set on the oldies station, hell, you even missed Frankie and his amazing food. He’d been working with you less than a week but he had already wedged himself into your stomach. But, it was just two more nights until you were back there. It struck you that this was the opposite of how most people thought. No one you knew actually wished to go back to work. 

It was almost dawn when you were woken out of your half sleep by Kurt stumbling into the room. 

“Baby,” he slurred, crawling into bed beside you. “Baby, I love you.”

“I love you too,” you mumbled, moving over so he could fit in the bed easier. He reeked of sweat and booze. 

“I’m sorry,” he planted a sloppy kiss on your neck. “I really try to be good.”

“I know,” you ran your fingers over his head. He liked his hair cropped short, in an almost military like style. “I try too.”

“Can we go back to how we were?” Kurt continued kissing you, his hands moving drunkenly over your body. You bit back a sigh, knowing where this was heading.

You decided it would be easier to let him do what he needed, despite how badly you wanted to sleep. The only saving grace was you knew Kurt would only last a couple of minutes before it would be over. 

~*~

“So, what’s the new guy like?” Manny asked. You were seated outside, at one of his favourite cafes. The sun shone down warmly on you both, brightening your mood.

“I like him, I think,” you said. “He’s nice, quiet.”

“And pretty cute, right?” Manny wriggled his eyebrows. 

“I hadn’t noticed,” you lied. Of course you had noticed. It was impossible not to notice. 

“Don’t feed me bullshit, I can tell when you’re lying.”

“Ugh, fine. He’s good looking. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

“That’s the thing lover, it only means something if you want it to.” Manny took a conspiratorial sip of his drink. “And I didn’t get a gay vibe from him.”

“Oh good, because the only thing holding me back from jumping his bones in the kitchen is that I didn’t know his sexual preference.” You rolled your eyes, deciding to quickly change the subject. “Anyway, how’s the new job?”

“I’m loving it!” Manny lit up. “Everyone says teenagers are the worst group to teach, but it’s like they forget middle school exists.”

You smiled at Manny’s happiness. It thrilled you to see someone you considered your best friend so happy. If anyone deserves the whole world, you thought, it’s him. But he wasn’t going to let you change the subject that easily.

“You know, maybe you could invite Frankie to one of our lunches,” Manny said slyly. “It could be a night crew thing.”

“That would mean inviting the weekenders,” you reminded him. Manny held a grudge against the weekend crew, but you could never figure out why.

“No, weeknight crew only. Come on, lover, it could be fun! Plus, I want to get to know my replacement a bit better. Make sure I’m not handing the spatula to someone I don’t approve of.” Manny pouted and switched on his puppy dog eyes.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll ask,” you conceded, “but don’t be surprised if he says no. The man probably has a life.”

“It can’t hurt to ask though, and I will bother you about it until you have an answer.”

“What are you planning?” You knew that look all too well.

“Just on making a new friend,” Manny said innocently. “Lover, you can never have enough friends.”

At that moment your phone buzzed with a text from Kurt.

Where r u?????

You grimaced and sent a quick reply, hoping it wouldn’t lead to what it usually did.

At lunch with Manny from work. I’ll be home in a couple hours, do you want anything?

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” Manny asked, watching you carefully.

Is he the gay 1?

Yes, you met him and his husband last year.

“It’s complicated,” you said. You didn’t have anywhere to go. You were terrified of being alone. Part of you still felt like you could salvage what you had. The one and only time you had tried to break up with him, he had threatened to kill himself if you left. 

“You deserve better than that,” Manny said. You remained silent, not sure if he was right. “You’ve been unhappy for ages now.”

“I’m happy!” You protested.

“No you aren’t. Don’t fucking lie to me. You’re miserable with that douche bag, even James agrees.”

“I haven’t seen James in months! How the hell would he know!” You were getting defensive, but you still managed to keep your voice lowered. 

“Lover, I talk that man's ear off every chance I get. Because I love him. Because he likes to hear me talk about my day and the people important to me.”

“I’m important to you?”

Manny rolled his eyes and threw his napkin at you. “Of course you are, you’re a sister to me. Stop trying to change the subject.”

“What subject!” You scoffed.

“The subject of you for some reason wanting to stay in a relationship with a man who makes you miserable,” Manny’s voice softened and he gently held one of your hands. The gesture almost made you tear up with its gentleness. You merely shrugged.

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Manny nodded. “Just please think about it, for real. I couldn’t sleep at night if I never said anything to you about it.”

The walk home was slow, you took your time to sort out your scrambling thoughts. Manny had offered to drive you, but it was a nice day, and you wanted to enjoy the sunshine. You pushed the issue of Kurt to the side, knowing either way the outcome would be the same unless you magically grew a spine and a few extra zeros in your bank account.

Instead, you thought about Frankie and how best to ask him to Sunday lunch. Honestly, if there was going to be a night shift tradition, it just felt downright rude to not at least extend an invite. And if Frankie said yes, well, that was even better. It was like Manny said - an opportunity to make a new friend. Just a friend.

So why did your stomach flip at the thought?

Tagging @hnt-escape if you’d also like to be tagged just let me know <3

[trashogram]

You are my only ryukxreader provider, bless you 😢

So how about a ryuk x fem!reader when she has a death note but refuses to use it, ryuk is ofc upset bc he wants to see some human drama but he gradually fall for her and her quirky personality.

*Salutes* I shall continue to supply you with Ryuk x Reader as long as I am able, my friend! 

Small drabble under the cut:

Ryuk had been so sure that you would change your mind from the very start that he hadn’t bothered with convincing you to relinquish the notebook. Humans were notoriously self-righteous, despite being just as quick to turn on whatever flimsy moral code they claimed. And the power of the death note was something no man could go uncorrupted by. 

A human had once broken down in front of him, bawling like an infant and pleading that ‘it was complicated’ or some such thing. The tears weren’t convincing in the slightest while the man’s brother lay on the ground at his feet, neck broken in several places. It was a violent end, written down with such detail and animosity. 

“I’d never kill anyone.” Your certainty was so adorable that Ryuk couldn’t help but snicker in advance over what was to come. 

He wondered, mildly, if the notebook would use you up, make your flesh sink around your eyes and cause your hair to thin and drain your pouty lips of all color. That would be a shame. 

****

“So you’re actually going?” 

“Yes.” 

“Even though you don’t want to?” 

“Yup.” 

“Even though you hate him...?” 

You slowly and gently applied your lipstick. “Uh... Huh.” 

“... Are you gonna bring the death note with you?” 

“Mmm...” Your lips smacked together lightly with a little popping sound. “Maybe.” 

Ryuk’s incomparably broad shoulders slumped as he sighed, exasperated. “Maybe means no.” 

You rolled your eyes before turning from side to side in the mirror, looking for any visible mistakes that might mortify you in front of your family. God help you, but even at a wedding where you weren’t the bride, your aunts would surely make a scandal out of your eyeliner being uneven. 

You hummed, unsure.  

“What do you think?” You turned away from your vanity to face the shinigami at your back. He was right behind you, and yet you knew that you wouldn’t be able to make eye contact with a being that had no reflection. “Do I look presentable?” 

Ryuk’s claws flexed subconsciously at his sides, as though he were physically trying to grasp the right words to use. He got so nervous around you whenever you postured just for him. 

“You’re really... pink.” 

You laughed, feeling that unusual sensation that came with being painted over with cosmetics. Makeup wasn’t a part of your daily routine, so when you put it on, you felt restricted in your expressions. Nonetheless, you couldn’t help the smile that reached your eyes at his bashfulness. 

“Is it that god awful?” You pressed, smoothing out the wrinkles on your dress. You looked like a stepford wife’s dream barbie and you knew it, decked in pink from your head to your toes. It wasn’t your style, but some people were into this sort of thing. Probably. 

“You don’t need it to be pretty... presentable.” Ryuk hovered closer, drawn to you like a magnet. Your heart squeezed in your chest at his words, although you didn’t call attention to them for the god’s sake.

But still, three months in and you still had no idea how an ominous god of death could be so cute.  

“I didn’t choose the theme.” You chided him. “It’s just for the night, though.” 

‘A really boring night.’ Ryuk thought dejectedly. He didn’t know if he was just so bored that he’d been driven to creativity or not, but he could practically picture you killing the groom for this wedding thing right before the ‘I do’s’. It would be so fucking funny, but Ryuk knew deep down that you wouldn’t go for it in spite of that. 

It was in moments like this where he teetered toward asking for the notebook back. It wasn’t strictly law-abiding to do so, but neither was ‘subtly’ goading you into using it, as he’d been doing more and more often as of late. The shinigami could not remember a time when any human under his possession held out this long on using what was essentially a divine weapon. Under your care, however, the death note was collecting dust. 

If worse came to worst, Ryuk might as well just kill you and try again. Privately, he pushed away the indignant voice that decried such a solution, citing your kind praise and pretty smile. How you made him laugh and the ease with which you rested against his chest as you both took turns on the switch, and how you sliced up apples and pressed heart-shaped cookie cutters into them, giving ‘your heart’ away to him and giggling.     

Even now, you were looking at him warmly, with the kind of fondness that was reserved for human lovers. 

“Come here.” You beckoned him to you and Ryuk obediently came to you, hesitating for a mere moment before following along as you cupped the sides of his face and pulled him down to eye-level.  

There was no grand preamble or tentative fear in your actions. You simply kissed the reaper between his bulbous eyes then leaned back.

“Hey, pink looks really nice on you.” You nodded at the lipstick mark you’d left on his deadened skin, either not noticing or pretending not to notice how your companion’s eyes glazed over with bliss. 

No one was going to die tonight, not by your hand at least. And definitely not by  his. 

[catherdrashepard]

Red Rising/Persona

I’m a huge fan of the Persona series and pretty much anything Atlus has done. I am ALSO a huge fan of Red Rising (blame that on @hyena-frog) So, the natural conclusion is that I should determine which Persona the main RR POV characters would have. As well as a couple extras. Pictures will be included with credit to the artist when applicable. Please let me know if I forget to credit someone. (https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_Persona_5_Royal_Personas) Here is the website I’m using. Spoilers for the first three books and probably a little of Iron Gold. Also a spoiler for the Faith Confidante in Persona 5: Royal. Avoid the Lysander paragraph if you want none of that. Disclaimer: I have not finished Dark Age yet so some of my thoughts might be lacking complete information.

Darrow: The main characters of the Persona series always start with a Persona from the Fool arcana. It doesn’t necessarily stay that way depending on the players personal preference. That being said, Darrow does fit the Fool arcana very well. It’s considered to be the beginning arcana or one without a number. It represents innocence, divine inspiration, madness, freedom, spontaneity, inexperience, chaos and creativity. These traits I think describe Darrow pretty accurately, especially in the first two books. Considering the story revolves around his journey, it makes sense to label him as a character of beginnings. Persona-wise, I think the one that fits Red Rising and Golden Son Darrow would be Satanael. This Persona is basically the equivalent to Lucifer, the angel who led a rebellion against God. But also that isn’t all that Darrow is. I also think the Death arcana is fitting for him, from Morning Star and beyond. Death is an arcana roughly in the middle of the tarot deck and it’s one that represents metamorphosis and change. Literal interpretation aside, Darrow experiences a change in himself after his capture at the end of Golden Son and his rescue in Morning Star. Not to mention, his entire purpose for becoming a Gold in the first place was to provoke a change in the current system of government. For his Death Persona, I would give him Thanatos. Because he’s my favourite, but also he’s considered the harbinger of death. Perfect for the Reaper. I don’t think Darrow completely loses Satanael in favour of Thanatos; I could definitely see him using both depending on the circumstance.

Virginia/Mustang: By Persona standards, because Mustang is Darrow’s main love interest, she would be the Lovers arcana. However, and this was incredibly difficult because she could really fit more acana, I think she could be both the Judgement and the Empress arcana. The Judgement arcana, I feel, fits her Sovereign persona (ha). It’s associated with a deep understanding of life, a balance of light and darkness, and characters who are well-aware, and intelligent. Not that this doesn’t fit her in her private life as well, but it seems more prevalent in her dealings as the Sovereign. The second arcana is the Empress. This one is more associated with mothers and women of authority. As we saw in the first trilogy, she went to great lengths to protect her family, i.e., working for Octavia, being with Cassius, the whole incident in Lykos. Choosing her Persona is tricky, mostly because Personas can shift arcana depending which game they are pulled from. I think the one to go with is Astarte. This is more of a feeling rather than definitive “proof”. She is identified as the goddess of war, hunting, love, sex, horses and possibly the morning star; her symbols are thought to be the lion, panther, and an eight pointed star. This is also the ultimate Persona of Haru in Persona 5, who awakens her initial Persona in defiance of her father and his corruption, which also feels apt. That being said, Astarte is from the Empress arcana and I could not find a Judgement arcana Persona that I felt fit her well enough.

Credit for the picture of Astarte to: Machia McMadlass on Amino

Sevro: Sevro was very easy to choose a Persona for. One in particular stood out to me. I think Sevro could fit both the Fool arcana and the Devil arcana. I think the aspects of the Fool that Sevro embodies are the madness, freedom, spontaneity, and creativity. The Devil arcana represents the urge to do selfish, impulsive, violent things. However, it also can represent a healthy bond and commitment.  Sevro is a wild card from the beginning, killing Priam in the first book being a prime example. Both he and Darrow were very unexpected successes in the Institute. This is something that also describes the protagonists in the Persona games as well. They all just kind of show up out of nowhere and completely shift the paradigm, especially in Personas 3&5. As for the Devil arcana, Sevro reminds me of the Devil confidante in Persona 5. Their goals are not the same, but both characters are very focused on what they want and make every effort to push through despite any obstacles in the way. As for the Persona, the one I chose was sort of picked for superficial reasons; Bugbear. Its name comes from the Celtic word bugs which means evil spirit or goblin. It’s also considered to be something of a boogeyman, a creature that lurked in the woods to scare children. Also, it’s essentially a stuffed bear filled with skulls, which seems to fit Sevro’s weird tastes.

Victra: With Victra, one arcana stuck out in my mind immediately, the Chariot. This arcana represents victory, conquest, self-assertion, self-confidence, control, war, and command. When first introduced to Victra, she does seem very sure of herself and what she wants. She strikes me as a shoot first and ask questions later type, which is something she has in common with the video game characters who share this arcana. Like Sevro, she could also fit the Devil arcana, especially during certain events in Dark Age that she pursues very single-mindedly. Although, I would say Victra is more Devil leaning than Sevro. As for the Persona, I think Pazuzu would fit her style pretty well. What really struck me as fitting Victra was the description of Pazuzu as an evil spirit that drives away other evil spirits, and protects humans from plagues and misfortunes. Also, despite trying to stick with the arcana placements of Persona 5 Royal, I think it’s worth noting that Pazuzu was summoned by a character in Devil Survivor who seeks revenge for death of a loved one.

Cassius: While perusing the arcana descriptions, the one for the Lovers immediately reminded me of Cassius. The Lovers is usually reserved for the “canon” love interest in the games, barring player preferences. However, Dassius jokes aside, what really made me think Cassius is that this arcana symbolises two paths a life could lead to and, standing at a crossroad and needing to make a decision. I think this describes Cassius’ personal journey throughout the books to a T, especially in the climax of Morning Star where he makes the decision to join Darrow in taking out Aja and Octavia. The other arcana that Cassius would be is the Star. This arcana is said to represent hope, self-confidence, faith, altruism, luck, generosity, peace and joy. I feel like self-confidence, faith, and altruism fit pre-end of Morning Star Cassius very well. He was considered the pinnacle of Golds and I think, at least until he learned what was actually going on, that’s all he wanted to be. The game characters with this arcana are teachers or mentors to the protagonist. Characters that are very good at what they do and offer some form of training. A sort of outlier to this is Teddie, from Persona 4. While he does have more experience than the main character dealing with the enemy (both Cassius and Teddie are part of the group the protagonist fights against), Teddie doesn’t take a combative role until later in the game. This is only possible because Rise, who replaces him as support, makes him question his identity or the “real” him. This is very similar to what happens to Cassius in the first three books. Darrow becomes what Cassius thought himself to be and it causes Cassius to question who he really is. Although, unlike Teddie, I think Cassius chose to heavily lean into being the perfect Gold specimen until the end of Morning Star, where he makes a choice to be the “real” Cassius. As for the Persona, I could easily see him with Sraosha, who represents the highest virtue of humanity, obedience to and submission to Divine Law. I think his motivations for using this Persona would change, however. I imagine at first, he would use it to keep the Society functioning how it always does. But, after Morning Star, I bet it would shift to be more about protecting his own ideals and the submission aspect would relate to Cassius’ personal morals and sense of justice.

Lysander: I really wanted to avoid using the arcana that are not present in a standard deck, and added for a specific game. However, one of the arcana that stood out to me for Lysander is the Faith arcana. This arcana symbolises, in the positive, belief in others and in oneself. Negatively, it represents blind faith misplaced in something that does not deserve trust. From what I understand of Lysander’s story, his personal journey seems to mirror that of the game character who shares his arcana. It is revealed later that she is a fake, and her memories were overwritten by another character. I have not finished Dark Age as of writing this but, I am under the strong impression that Lysander has been brainwashed and that some of his memories have been replaced or erased entirely. And while he does have some misgivings about the Society, I believe he is blind to how fucked up it really is. But it also holds potential for Lysander to overcome this indoctrination. I had a bit of trouble with what the second arcana would be but, I think the Moon fits Lysander pretty well. You could say he’s a….Moonie. But in all seriousness, the description that struck me as Lysander-esque was "They often tend to have trouble accepting themselves for who they are and, because of that fear, try to correspond to an ideal person. And like the arcana, there is a hidden depth as to why they act in their behaviours." Lysander was definitely sheltered and isolated, by both Octavia and Cassius (he tried his best). And perhaps by Atalantia to some degree. He is a fed a narrative and doesn’t really get a chance to analyse his own perceptions and why they may be incorrect. The characters of the Moon arcana in the game often struggle internally with themselves which, to be honest, is a trait most of the POV characters have. But what I think Lysander lacks in that case, is self-awareness. As for the Persona, I ended up going with Cendrillon. This Persona is based on Cinderella, which is a little different from some of the other ones. As much as I like to make fun of Lysander for his poor choices, it’s hard not to see him as a victim. I don’t necessarily think he’s a hero or that he’s entitled to the kind of happy ending Cinderella gets. However, I do feel that, like the fairy tale princess, some of his circumstances were as a result of situations that were out of his control. Also, a line really stuck with me from the initial awakening for the Persona that really made me think Lysander; “Well, if those really are the shoes you've chosen... Then we'll dance to the end.”

Ephraim: Ephraim suffers a lot throughout the books, and I feel like that reflects heavily on what arcana he is. I think the first one that fits him well is the Tower arcana, which is associated with a fall from grace. His story reminds me a lot of the Tower social link character in Persona 3. Both Ephraim and the game character lose their family and turn to substance abuse to numb the pain. People of the Tower arcana seems to suffer a lot of internal pain which they fail to cope with healthily and thus turn to less savoury means until and outside force steps in to help steer them in a better direction. The other arcana I believe fits him well is the Hanged Man. What makes me think Ehpraim is that the appearance of the Hanged Man can be seen as advice to take the time to reflect over one's upcoming actions, which is something I think he needs to learn how to do. They can also be self-sacrificial and are often notable for being stuck between two different stages of life. Also, much like the Tower arcana characters, their journey seems to revolve around some kind of loss that they are failing to cope with. As for the Persona….this was a bit tricky. I have a few I like but one comes with a bit reluctance because of how it plays into the plot of Persona 4 and how it would reflect on Ephraim’s character. But, my gut is telling me that Magatsu-Izanagi is the way to go. What is making me think of Ephraim when I see it is the symbolism behind this Persona. It represents emptiness, impulsiveness, poor judgement, obsession and frivolity. There are also some similarities between Ephraim and the character who wields this Persona in Persona 4. They both exhibit little tact and seem to be playing some sort of game with the other characters. However, Adachi (Persona 4 character) seems to do this because he’s a psychopath whereas I think Ephraim is this way as a terrible coping mechanism. In Persona 4, the arcana where this Persona fits in is meant to be the reversed Fool. And while I’m trying to stick with the Persona 5 Royal placements (which for Magatsu-Izanagi is the Tower arcana), I think the implication here is that Ephraim has a lot of potential to be something so great if he can just reverse the path he is going down.

Lyria: I love Lyria. I think she’s a wonderful and interesting character. I love that she highlights the ramifications of undoing a toxic form of government. She gets so much development that it was easy to see what arcana she fit into. The first one I thought of was the Hermit. It represents wisdom, introspection, solitude, retreat and philosophical searches. In the beginning, she has very strong opinions about Darrow and the rest of the Rising. Which is entirely understandable considering her entire way of life was stripped from her without a way to cope with the changes. But, unlike Lysander, she’s willing to re-examine herself and her perceptions as she is presented with new information. She also tends to try and keep under the radar if she can, which is another trait of the Hermit. What’s interesting to me is that other characters of the Hermit arcana are victims of circumstances out of their control, but they see their own victimization as a result of a flaw in their character. The other arcana is very tricky for me, as there are parts of Lyria’s character that I don’t know yet. After much discussion and deliberation with my resident expert, the second arcana for Lyria is the Priestess. This arcana is a symbol of hidden knowledge or other untapped power, wisdom, female mystery and patience. The characters of this arcana also take more time to open up to the protagonist than others. Which also fits Lyria as she needed time and introspection to really understand Darrow and Mustang. As for the Persona, I’m actually going to cheat a little with my choice. I try to keep the arcana placements from Persona 5 Royal but for Lyria, I’m choosing Hariti whose arcana is Priestess in Persona 4 and Persona Q. Hariti is a protector of children and childbirth after going through a significant change in perspective which, from what I understand and have been told, is also something that Lyria does.

[codedredalert]

Provocation [Golden Kamuy, Tsuki/Ogata] -- part 1/2

Tsuki/Ogata || could-be-canon pre-series || 3,254 words

Second Private Ogata is nothing but trouble, and no end to infuriating. Tsukishima is determined to treat him fairly nonetheless.

(GK fanworks exchange prompt 27: Ogata dealing with the "wildcat" jokes and consequential reputation in the army, Tsukishima somehow protecting him.)

Warnings: canon-typical violence

(On Ao3) (part 2 on tumblr)

===/\==

.

Tsukishima isn't meant to hear it, but he does. He pulls two men aside to warn them for being late, and as he is walking away, he hears one mutter, "that shitty wildcat, this is his fault".

"Wildcat?" Tsukishima asks, because predatory animals near the camp are a significant concern.

"It's nothing, sir," Second Private Nikaido (he's not sure which one) responds after a moment too long and a shared look with his brother. In hindsight, that look is why Tsukishima remembers.

.

.

He doesn't think much of it until he walks into the main tent just as a fight nearly breaks out. There's shouting that abruptly cuts off as the men catch sight of him and turn to salute instead of throwing punches. Still, the tension in the air is palpable, and almost everyone is throwing dirty sideways glances at one man in particular. He's not new, but somehow, Tsukishima has yet to speak with him. His face was both familiar and less familiar than it should be, with big, dark eyes and eyebrows that turn down at both ends. He's built on the smaller side, though still taller than Tsukishima himself.

Tsukishima sighs and gestures for the men to stand at ease.

"There will be no punishment, but I need to know what happened here," he says. Most of them bow slightly in acknowledgement, though the newer men look apprehensive. No one volunteers, of course, so Tsukishima is forced to single someone out. "The Second Private in the sheepskin vest, what's your name?"

The big, honest-looking man, one of the new reserves, steps forward.

"Tanigaki Genjirou, sir."

"Second Private Tanigaki." Tsukishima nods. "What happened here?"

"I'm afraid I was not following the conversation, sir. I can only say that it appears that Second Private Ogata and Superior Private Tamai have had some disagreement."

Tsukishima turns to Superior Private Tamai expectantly.

"Second Private Ogata is just being his usual offensive self, sir. His words are not worth repeating."

"Ahh," interrupts the man with the big, dark eyes. His voice is soft with a slight rasp, almost like a purring cat. "The Superior Private and Second Private Tanigaki are giving me too much credit. I only said that having more snipers might give us more tactical options, and it's a pity that no one else in our unit is suitable. Superior Private Tamai took that as a criticism of his leadership or marksman abilities."

A collective rustle of discontent goes through the men, but no one says anything further and Tsukishima dismisses them. Then all at once, noise and movement return and it seems the men can't contain themselves anymore, speaking in agitated whispers.

"He really is a wildcat, did you hear him?"

"What a liar!"

"Shhh, the Sergeant can hear you."

"Forget the Sergeant, that bastard Ogata might hear you."

… so that's what they meant. Tsukishima thought of one particular cat back in the fishing village he once called home. A cat with a hanging belly that belonged to no-one, meowing pitifully to beg for food. Tsukishima had fed it until one fisherman had laughed at him, and told him "that cat isn't pregnant— he's just fat, and a good fraud."

He finds himself staring, and Second Private Ogata looks up and smiles.

.

.

He soon learns that there's more to it than that.

The nickname catches on with unusual speed and enthusiasm. Outside of formal channels, Second Private Ogata is almost universally referred to as "wildcat Ogata", "that wildcat", or a mix of expletives. It's compromising the order and morale of the men. Tsukishima has more pressing things to think about, but there are enough rumours that it earns its place as an item on his mental checklist of problems to deal with.

One night, when intelligence indicates that an attack by the Russians is unlikely, an air of cautious optimism pervades the camp, and men and officers alike take full advantage of the respite.

"Sergeant Tsukishima, you're slow to the party!" Someone calls to him from a group seated around a fire. "Come drink with us, Second Lieutenant Hanazawa just donated his share of sake."

Tsukishima takes his seat with them, more than readily takes the sake passed to him—he's long learned not to refuse anything that might ease the weight and reality of war— and joins them in raising a toast.

"To Yuusaku-san! May you have a long life, so your generosity can continue to bless us!"

"Empty the glasses!" someone roars amongst the cheers and uproarious laughter. "Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Tsukishima echoes, raising his drink and nodding to Second Lieutenant Hanazawa. The handsome young officer laughs along with everyone, waving away the thanks modestly. That just gets him another round of cheers, and even some pats on the back.

"Yuusaku-san, you're really amazing! Brave and generous and virtuous. Your father, the Lieutenant General's blood really shows!"

A chorus of approval and agreement, indistinct. The atmosphere of relative safety and normalcy, the comfortable warmth of the fire, his accumulated fatigue, and the sake all softened the noise and going-ons around him until Tsukishima heard someone say: "Eh, no, no, that can't be right, otherwise that wildcat would also have some good qualities instead of fucking around all the time."

And then the conversation suddenly related to A Problem, and Tsukishima was too dutiful to ignore it. Holding back a sigh, he dredged up some willpower to pay attention.

"You're right, it must come from his mother's side. Or Yuusaku-san must have taken all the good parts from the Lieutenant General."

"It's true, how are they even related?"

"Simple! The child of a wildcat... must also be a wildcat!" The man who says this pronounces it with a dramatic sweep of his arm and a great deal of pride at his own cleverness, the others burst out in drunken laughter, all except Tsukishima and Second Lieutenant Hanazawa. This doesn't pass unnoticed. Not wanting to exclude their benefactor, Lance Corporal Takahashi slings his arm around the Second Lieutenant, and with all the social acumen of an injured bear, he helpfully explains.

"Ah, of course our dear flagbearer wouldn't know! Wildcat here means geisha, especially of the sort that… is willing to take some extra appointments, if you catch my meaning."

He leers so lecherously that his meaning is completely unmistakable. Second Lieutenant Hanazawa blushes, and then very rapidly goes pale. He looks like he wants to say something, but the flag-bearer's duty to camaraderie and harmony of the troops shackles him.

The same did not apply to Tsukishima.

"It does you no credit to speak ill of your fellow soldiers or their heritage," he says sharply, "—or to imply ill of your Lieutenant General."

Tsukishima speaks like the sergeant he is, so his voice carries, even if he's not trying to be particularly loud. Most of the noise in the group dies instantly, and the people at the fringes quickly quieten as well as the ones near them nudge them to lower their voices.

The Lance Corporal who was speaking does a double take, swaying slightly, drunk but not drunk enough to miss the sudden uncomfortable hush and Tsukishima's obvious disapproval.

"Ahh Sergeant, it was only a joke, a joke."

"A poor joke in bad taste," replies Tsukishima and the person's smile becomes visibly more strained, but Tsukishima doesn't care about popularity, he's a dead man returned to life by a man who outranks everyone present. Even if he were shot tomorrow, it was all borrowed time anyway, as far as he was concerned. The funny characteristic about people when they've already made their peace with death was that they cared very little about what the living think of them.

"—but—" Lance Corporal Takahashi starts to argue.

"It is also an insult to the Second Lieutenant, which is a poor way to repay him for his generosity," Tsukishima adds and as expected, that is what makes the Lance Corporal stop, glancing to the side where the Second Lieutenant is smiling uncomfortably.

"And in any case," Tsukishima continues, "it hardly matters when we're all here fighting and dying in the same war for the same country."

The mood instantly sobers, the temporary illusion of warmth and normalcy dropping away, the weight of the war they were on the front lines of returning tenfold

Tsukishima is suddenly more tired than when he first joined the group. So much for having a bit of respite this evening. He should have gone straight to the baths and stayed there.

"I've said everything I have to say and I'll stand by it, with all the authority I have. But it's late now. Excuse me, I'll take my leave." He turns to the Second Lieutenant, gives a shallow bow, probably more shallow than is polite but his body is too heavy for him to care overly much. "Thank you for the sake, sir."

He leaves. Behind him, he hears Second Lieutenant Hanazawa softly taking his leave from the table of now subdued officers. Footsteps follow him, and the young officer's voice calls out, "Wait!"

Tsukishima stops and turns, and Second Lieutenant Hanazawa jogs to meet him.

"It is good to see that the high praise I have heard about Sergeant Tsukishima is well-founded. Thank you for your defense of my elder brother."

"Second Lieutenant Hanazawa, you're being far too kind. Anything I said was merely for satisfaction of my own principles."

Tsukishima wants to turn and leave, but the Second Lieutenant looks like he has more to say, and the mix of decorum, rank, and actually not disliking the young man keeps Tsukishima standing there.

"I thought they might treat him better if they knew we were related," confesses Hanazawa, "but that provoked people's curiosity. In the end, I seem to have made more trouble for my elder brother."

From the little Tsukishima is aware of, he rather thinks that Second Private Ogata makes most of the trouble himself— there couldn't be that much smoke without even a spark of fire— but as with most situations where he doesn't know enough, he keeps his mouth shut.

Suddenly realising that he was keeping Tsukishima standing in the cold for a personal conversation, Second Lieutenant Hanazawa startles.

"I've said too much." Second Lieutenant Hanazawa bows again. "I beg for your discretion with this information."

"Of course, sir," Tsukishima replies. When Second Lieutenant Hanazawa smiles widely in relief, Tsukishima doesn't have the heart to tell him that he is just closing the doors after the horse has bolted.

.

.

That conversation haunts him, annoyingly mundane amongst the greater horrors he has to deal with. It invokes memories of his home being mocked as unclean, a murderer's dwelling-place, and the murder of a kind girl for no reason other than the appearance she was born with and the misfortune of his affection. Tsukishima takes the old nightmares in stride, as he takes everything, but every time he sees the cloaked figure of Second Private Ogata huddling near a fire or brazier, the thought returns to him, an incomplete task.

It doesn't sit well with him.

The gods give him his chance a few days later, when Second Private Ogata walks by and gives him the mandatory salute. Again, Tsukishima is struck by his big dark eyes, true black catching a small gleam of light, intelligent and strange. If all-seeing eyes existed, they must be like his. Ogata glances over Tsukishima, but his eyes don't settle, don't even linger, like he's seen all there is to see and has already dismissed it with a flick of dark eyelashes, already looking for something else.

He is a sniper. Tsukishima had looked at his records. An unnaturally good one too. It made a man wonder what those eyes could see.

"Second Private Ogata."

"Sir."

"It has come to my attention that these 'wildcat' references are an insult to your private matters and parentage. I don't stand such things. If they bring up that distasteful joke again, let me know."

A blink from those big dark eyes.

"I can deal with it," Second Private Ogata starts to say, but Tsukishima cuts him off before he can go on to make the obligatory polite refusals. He's in no mood for the song and dance of social niceties. The memory of dark hair in unusual curls and a murderer called father are too close to his thoughts today.

"This is a matter of principle. Insulting a person for their heritage has no place in this regiment." Tsukishima surprises himself with how forcefully the words come out, though that is probably not noticeable to someone who does not know him well.

"If it's not about me, then I wonder why the sergeant decided to talk to me?" Ogata's tone, normally flat with disinterest, curled ever so slightly with curiosity now. "Just make an order or punishment, as you please. Sir."

He makes a point, and somehow Tsukishima does not like the question. Still, he answers.

"An order might confirm the information and disservice you and Second Lieutenant Hanazawa more. But if that's what it takes, I will make the order and enforce it with my own two hands if I must."

Something changes. Ogata's eyes feel like they finally focus on him, even with the strange sensation that they are too big and taking everything at once, at least now that includes him. Ogata comes to some decision, lifting his chin.

"I can deal with it, sir. No need to trouble yourself."

His eyes are unreadable.

.

.

The atmosphere in the regiment becomes more vicious. As Tsukishima investigates, small misfortunes start making sense.

Superior Private Tamai's rifle sight rusts on a perfectly dry night. Second Private Tanigaki's uniform buttons go missing. Lance Corporal Takahashi's trigger finger is shot off.

No one knows for certain that it's Second Private Ogata, but everyone knows.

.

.

"You wanted to speak to me, sir?"

Ogata reports as he is required to, but from his carefully blank expression, it's clear he doesn't intend to cooperate. Tsukishima looks up from where he is writing a report and puts down his pen, sits back, more upright.

"I was under the impression we had an understanding," he says grimly, "that you'd come to me regarding those insults if necessary."

"It was not necessary," replied Ogata, just this side of insubordinate, and with a very neutral expression he goes on to say, "But I appreciate the Sergeant's special attention."

"Then it would befit Second Private Ogata to show his appreciation via his conduct."

"What conduct do you suggest?" he asks blithely with an innocently straight face and his too-big eyes and his purring voice. He's far too aware for that ignorance to be genuine.

How irritating.

"Report to me instead of acting on your own," Tsukishima says forcefully. "Or if you don't wish to bring the matter to me, you are free to go to the Second Lieutenant if you prefer. He is more than willing to help you." That gets the first involuntary reaction he sees from Ogata, a definitive rise in his shoulders, a slight lean away from Tsukishima, as if he could physically avoid the suggestion.

"If I don't go to the Sergeant, how could I go to the Second Lieutenant?" asks Ogata, insulting while somehow still staying just this side of appropriate enough to avoid penalty. "As I said, I can deal with it. There's no need to trouble yourself, sir."

.

.

Three more men trade their trigger fingers for a ticket out of the regiment.

There is no evidence that it is Second Private Ogata.

There is no evidence that it is not Second Private Ogata.

.

.

This time, Tsukishima does not send a missive, he pulls Second Private Ogata aside himself.

"I told you to come to me," Tsukishima starts without preamble.

"I don't know what you mean," says Ogata with a straight face.

It takes everything in Tsukishima not to react visibly to that.

"Antagonising our own unit members is bad for morale," replies Tsukishima flatly. "And some actions are outright sabotage, or treason."

"Is Sergeant Tsukishima suggesting I would do such things?" Ogata has the gall to look surprised, and even slightly offended. Tsukishima doesn't buy it for a second.

"I am trying to be fair to you. Stop putting me in a position where I have to punish the people you provoke."

"Mmm, Sergeant Tsukishima has been very patient and generous, all for me." The words in themselves are perfectly polite, but something in the way he says it twists it to mockery. It stops all sound but the blood rushing in Tsukishima's ears.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Tsukishima challenges. A spark lights in Ogata's eyes, and he tilts up his chin, looking down his nose at Tsukishima.

"Obviously the sergeant doesn't care that much about me. So the sergeant must be personally invested in this type of insult, right?"

The protest "I'm not" dies unsaid in Tsukishima's throat as patently untrue. He looks at Ogata, unable to find something to say in the varied mess of emotion struggling to resolve into something comprehensible. Disbelief, irritation, anger, sadness, profound regret, longing, something a little bit of all of these and yet none of them.

Ogata looks at him as Tsukishima's silent struggle grows, and at length, Ogata speaks.

"You already know how the unit talks about me," Ogata says. He is unbearably smug and insubordinate despite the formal address. "So this show of yours must be because you want to make sure they don't talk about you behind your back. Do you want to know what they say about you? Or is that too 'inappropriate'— it's true that I can take it better than you, just judging from your reaction."

Tsukishima's emotions resolve decidedly into fury, which he holds back for a moment before thinking — why not and swinging, landing a good hit right in the face. His fist crunches into Ogata's nose satisfyingly, makes contact with the hard socket and soft tissue of Ogata's eye. His knuckles sting slightly from the impact, tingling with the blood in his small capillaries, with the satisfaction of justified anger finding a deserving target.

Ogata's eyes have a victorious gleam of malicious amusement for a passing fraction of a second as Tsukishima swings, then he goes staggering into a tree.

"You really bring out the worst in people," Tsukishima mutters under his breath, not intending for Ogata to hear but Ogata's expression turns even more smug and even more infuriating. Tsukishima has met the worst of men, has the blood of one in his own veins even, but Ogata is something else— he thinks he's invincible and untouchable and the only real thing. He's vicious for sport and everything is a joke, even in the middle of a war. He wants to watch the world burn.

He's a liability.

With this realisation, Tsukishima knows what he must do. He looks down at Ogata where the man lays on the floor and doesn't even attempt to get up, and Tsukishima tells him, "Your attitude has become too big of an issue. I will have to bring your matter to my superior officer."

"A big issue," Ogata repeats slowly, smiling at the words as if Tsukishima had just cracked a joke instead of informing him that a disciplinary matter would be escalated. He sits up, and looks up to Tsukishima, blood dripping from his nose, the beginnings of a bruise already showing around his eye. It'll be swollen shut before tomorrow. "Please mention me favourably then, Sergeant Tsukishima."

.

===/end of part 1\===

(On Ao3) (part 2 on tumblr)  ( patreon ) ( kofi ) ( paypal )

[itsgrishaverse]

BEAST OF PREY | ANDREW DOLAN

author’s note— knowing that there’s still no given personality and full plot of the character itself yet, this is an alternate universe with its own story.

based on the idea of Andrew being a single father, a man with questionable past and twisted desires. You fall in love with him when befriending his daughter in criminology, only to regret it or maybe, desire him more.

warnings— sexual and violent content.

Word count 2k.

tag list! let me know if you’d like to be added or removed. if i’m not in yours yet, add me!

@jimmason @theneverendinghunger @chickyjess19 @angelicmichael @michaellangdonstanaccount @apocalypsebarbiee @elfilibusterismo @thewarriorprincessxo

listen to sandman by SYML.

Flames of passion arose between the unseen and shadows, embracing two bodies that same night. Despite them never touching. She, in her dreams. A fragile veil that every human touched with closed eyes. And he, in the bliss of a sadistic and unseen act. Both tangled up within a hint of pleasure and passion, for different reasons.

In her dreams, someone claimed her. A firm hand wrapped up around her throat, squeezing — just enough to bring her that certain satisfaction that ran down her body as shivers, covered by a thin veil of sweat and the male’s lips attached to her skin. Marking her. He claimed her like no one has or had she felt. His thrusts would earn whimpers of pleasure, a mess of careless sounds. It was all for the man who had her wrapped up around his finger, despite she not knowing. Perhaps she knew it. Perhaps the reason why she allowed to close eyes in such an intimate illusioned moment — with a gentle tilt of head backwards against pillows — was because she was already aware of the sight before her. It was the man with disheveled brown hair and cold eyes. Green  eyes that spoke of truth and yet hid it. Those cold, striking eyes could be easily forgiven by such a warm and cunning smile.

She woke up with a gasp, alone in the shadows of her room, fingers digging into the silk of her blankets.

In real life, that same night, Andrew’s lips claimed someone else’s skin. A female he had crossed paths with only a couple of hours ago; it carried shared drinks and compliments between each other. He invited her to head back towards his place. Only half truth dripping from his words. It was his place, but not where he currently lived or would ever have the thought to do so. A piece of land bought outside of the city a couple of years ago, unknown by his daughter, for certain reasons.

Reasons that he couldn’t speak of. Ever.

Lucky, (the name she had shared with him. Ironic, he had thought upon hearing it. A little inner joke. He knew that she was heading towards everything, but luck.) had her arms wrapped up around him, Andrew’s hand finding its way around her neck.

“What do you think Mr. Sandman will bring you tonight?” The question must have brought her confusion, the moment her eyes opened to meet his gaze with a blink. Followed by a furrow of eyebrows.

“W-what?”

It was the confusion that brought him further pleasure, in fact. Questions like this would kill the moment and he was fully aware of it. It was why he did it. There was only one allowed to taste joy out of this act and certainly, it wasn’t her. Sandman was a joke dragged for a long time now. A story that most people knew of. He heard it at its own time because of his mother, someone who brought it up to him at a younger age.

They never spoke about his mother.

“I said.” He licked over his own lips. Briefly. The grip around her neck tightened, accenting his following words. “What will he grant you tonight, Lucky? Is it luck?” The thought made his lips part; revealing a bright smile. White teeth. Mocking tone. “Your life, sex, an orgasm or dream?”

That night, a choked gasp left the woman’s lips.

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

“I can see that cute ass of yours from here.” Iris’ voice rang from the phone, causing (Y/N) to come to a brief half. Steps trailing off. The second she gave her surroundings a quick glance in the crowded place for an attempt to spot the familiar silhouette, she heard Iris’ gentle laugh on the phone.

“Where are you?”

“Right where you are at.” Iris answered with that usual sweet tone she often used for (Y/N). And she, with Iris. It was a bond that became deeper within the last months of friendship. Despite the social differences between both and likings for things in general. There was one thing that bonded them more. fashion.

“Right.” With a turn of direction, her head tilted to the side, still holding the phone close against her ear. She then spotted that familiar long brown curls that belonged to no else, but her friend. Standing outside one of the boutiques. She made sure to cross glances before allowing a playful malicious smirk. “Why don’t you come closer then? So I can kick your ass?”

It was her way to tell her that she was just coming from one of her preferred classes. self defense. Not that she was the best at it. Just yet.

“I think.” Her friend tapped her chin, thoughtful as the other made her way towards them. “You better come closer.”

Both phones hung up and a brief yet warm hug was shared between them. Iris chose to wear, as usual, a short dress adorned by white flowers. (Y/N) wore a pair of tight blue jeans with a black top. They wore the matching black ankle boots most of the time and that day, it was one of those times.

“I have news. Good news. It’s why I haven’t stopped calling you, if you would only answer the phone!”

It was true. She had been avoiding her phone, but for certain reasons. There was always one reason.

“I’ve been busy. Busy, investigating.” With a gentle shrug of shoulders, (Y/N) attempted to come across with a lack of interest. She knew that it’d fail before their eyes. That look coming from the other female said it all. She gave in. “And before you attempt to say something about it — NO! I won’t just leave it. It’s not my thing. It's not me. It’s not why I am studying for. I don’t care if the police haven't found anything, that’s why we have brains of our own. I have the right to think differently than everyone else.”

A sigh issued the brown-haired female’s lips, but she remained still. Listening. If there was something that passionated their friend was just that. The mystery. The horror of minds and behind acts. But she was aware that it wasn’t the main reason why they were so invested in attempting to prove something. Not to be the main one in the class or be seen as a potential future criminalist, but to release themselves. She hadn’t met (Y/N) yet back through one of the darkest times of her life, when her ex girlfriend disappeared four years ago. Since then, people going missing became worse in their city and yet, police still found nothing. Last week, someone else was reported missing. It was a pattern that she kept following, studying, getting invested in on her own. But it was something that brought her pain too. Even if they didn’t speak about that part.

“And you know that I respect it.” Iris commented, wanting to change topic. Something lighter. “Good news is that we have reserved spots for a private meeting! And you won’t believe where. Mr. Hearst’s place.”

Mr. Hearst was one of the most known men. And that meant other known people would be there. It was clear the way she didn’t see it coming.

“How?” (Y/N) whispered. Attempting to hold back the amazement. It could be the change of her life, if the right move was given. A step to something else if the right one was met. Something which Iris answered, easily.

“My father.”

Of course Andrew Dolan had something to do with it. It was both his own reputation and money that had its way into things. Her thoughts were dragged back to last night and the dreams she shared, in the dark, only with herself. The sight of Andrew in her mind; touching and claiming her had hers cheeks heat up so easily that she disliked it— not truly. 

It was just a dream. 

Of course.

Andrew was easy on the eyes and probably one of the most intelligent men she had the pleasure to meet. Iris’ father. There was something else about him; along with his remarkable features that would catch anyone’s eye. Was it the fact that he looked younger than he probably was? Or the way he’d smile and look at you with a pair of intense eyes, letting you know that he was listening to you? That his attention was on you only. Perhaps the way his long fingers would rub along his bottom lip when he seemed thoughtful or rub over his stubble.

He was always elegant despite not wanting to wear suits unlike others and polite, yet with the balance to allow himself to be playful. Banter with whomever he pleased.

In the palace of her mind he was everything, but that to her.

They walked in the store, and new clothes were bought for the upcoming night.

━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━

“Is this Ms (Y/L)’s place?” The male, with chocolate curls, asked from the back seat of his car. The sight of a gray building met him, as soon as he glanced from the window.

“Yes, sir.” His driver answered with a gray tone. Politely. “It was the address given by your daughter. She asked to be picked up.”

The thought he had never been at her place before just struck him. Not that he had reasons to. (Y/N) was a friend of his daughter, thus he treated her for who and what she was. Iris held her close to her heart; he had seen it, thus she was close to his too. As long as she treated the one he cared about most right. To treat friends meant there was an invisible line that shouldn’t be crossed. It was something he could control, but his mind couldn’t.

To be aware there was a line, professional and probably morally, didn’t mean he wouldn’t think of her as the woman she was. Beautiful. Intelligent. Light of heart. The woman he had witnessed a few times and the one Iris would speak of. They are just young adults, he had thought to himself. Two friends. You shouldn’t think of her more than you should.

Truth was that he wouldn’t think of anyone in that certain way. Iris’ mother was a bad experience, but the man he allowed himself to date a few years later, was even a worse experience. Pleasure was a tasteful, truly tasteful piece, but being emotional wasn’t.

“I see. Stay here, I’ll go and get them myself.” He reached out to open his door, and stepped outside.

For the first time at the night, the sight of the moon met him. How much he found himself fond of it. The night would be illuminated by the streets lights and moonlight along. He wore a silk dark orange shirt, with a pair of black boots and pants. It matched his belt. A few of his buttons were unbuttoned, given allowance to little of the ink on his chest. A tattoo that claimed part of his chest, but most of his side. The fingers that had traced it before told stories.

He gave his golden watch a quick glance. It took Andrew just enough to ask and find the door to her apartment. A knock on the door and step backwards. Awaiting. The Andrew that had allowed himself to think of her before was no longer there, but the man they all knew him as. The father.

It opened, letting him have the pleasure of (Y/N)’s sight in a large, tight black dress. Her hair fell on her shoulders. She was speaking to her someone on the phone— but for a brief second, just a brief second Andrew didn’t care what was supposed to be said. There was no greater purpose at the moment, but to stare at her. To take her in. If the palace of his mind would keep a picture, it would be her like this. His gaze traveled from her feet, up her curves to meet her gaze. It would be the end of him to be attracted to things that shouldn’t happen. 

He held his breath back upon realizing all the time along, they were holding his gaze. Perhaps she didn’t stop staring at him either, perhaps she didn’t look away from his eyes.

She didn’t. It was the way she always looked into his eyes; how professional she felt around him. It was soft, but strong, firm. She never flinched away or looked away from him— neither did he. That’s why he always found himself intrigued. As much as she did.

And at that moment, just for a breath, that shared gaze held more than words would ever. It was unspoken. Attraction. Desire. Attention. Mutual.

He broke it first with a polite smile. A raise of eyebrows.

“You look beautiful tonight. Iris sent me your address. I’d expect both of you to be ready to leave by now. I don’t mind if we run late, but certainly they would mind.”

It took her a moment to bring herself back from it.

She didn’t look away from him, he noticed she still had her phone against her ear.

“Yes, Iris. He’s here right now.” Andrew’s eyebrows furrowed at her words. Confusion touched him as she kept talking. “Do you want to talk to him— no? oh. okay. I’ll tell him.”

There was a certain glint within eyes at the thought that he was alone, there, with her.

“Mr. Dolan! You look —- elegant.” That smile made him feel things he didn’t want to. “Iris isn’t here, she wanted to let you know she’ll be there later. Someone else will pick her up.”

Oh.

He tried another smile.

Pleased.

Wouldn’t it be a long night after such a turn?

“Then, it will be just you and I for now.”

[jcmorrigan]

Do you support anti-harassment and pro-shipping?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: This is an issue I’ve been monitoring and grappling with for a long time, and I feel like while my core philosophy has been the same for a while now, the nuances I’ve held shift every so often. I don’t identify as an anti. I just don’t. I think shipping things - be it incest, adult/minor, or one of the many flavors of abusive - is an ENTIRELY separate issue from wanting to do that IRL. I think sometimes people just want to write taboo topics for various reasons. Because the topics themselves are taboo and that’s interesting, because they offer methods of coping, even because some people are kinda into projecting upon the person on the losing end of the power dynamic and being dominated and kicked around, since that’s not something you should really chase in real life (unless it’s during a roleplay with a network of safewords).

There are many ships I think are gross, but I don’t want people to stop shipping them because I don’t like them. I don’t like ships that involve anyone under 13 with anyone over 18. I don’t like ships that involve anyone under 18 with anyone over 30. (Aging up is a whole different matter; if you write the younger character older and legitimately have them behave the way you think they would as an adult, it’s all good.) I REALLY don’t like ships where a character is either confirmed homosexual or only shown onscreen to be attracted to the same gender in a big-deal reveal sort of way (if the character has crushes on many genders or the creator uses Word of God to say they’re bi/pan, it’s fine) and the ship involves putting them with someone of the opposite gender (shipping them with enbies is fine). And no, I don’t think it’s a double standard that I sometimes like to do same-sex ships for characters who are coded very very straight. But this is all to do with my tastes and beliefs, not with what I think the rest of you all should do. If you like something that falls in my personal no-no category, then go ahead and do it. I’ll decide how much I want to interact with you, and that says more about our potential chemistry as a unit than it does about you as a person. And if you have boundaries yourself - if age-gap ships skeeve you out - then that doesn’t make you a bad person or even an anti! Just block as needed, talk to friends if you feel betrayed by them, and recognize what it is you don’t like and that you don’t have to like it.

Selfshipping? Do what you want. Again, I might personally have reservations about shipping with somebody too young (I actually perceived my own main f/o as in his twenties when I first watched his source, then saw Word of God say he was NINETEEN actually, even though that invalidates many many jokes about how he’s bad at adulting, so I just said “fuck it” and he’s at least 24 to me because that makes more sense and is more of my comfort zone). But what I like shouldn’t dictate what YOU do. I might give you a little side-eye if you’re shipping with somebody young, but I don’t know your reasons for doing so and I don’t have the right to judge. I might distance myself from certain situations if I’m feeling skeeved out. Or I might not feel skeeved out depending on how it’s handled. I also again would raise a brow if you’re selfshipping with an opposite-gender gay character, but same principle: you have your reasons, you shouldn’t stop because some rando (me) has an issue with your ship, and if I have a problem with how you handle it, I’ll just peace out on my end and not make a deal out of it.

A lot of this comes from the fact that I have mega OCD and I already try to moralize everything I do and hyper-analyze my choices to make sure I am being a Good Person. If I try to follow the “rules” to make my ships palatable to everyone, then I start worrying that any deviation makes me unforgivable. The vast majority of ships in my deck are squeaky-clean and have no problems, but sometimes I’ll get, like...Ventus/Papyrus, where Ven is 15, and Papyrus is in age limbo but I always thought he was at least 18, and then I don’t want to spiral into a moral crisis because I really think it would be cute to put the anime boy with the skeleton and I think they’re both asexual anyway. Or when I aged up Zevon from Descendants in order to make him make more sense as Yzma’s son, and then I had to give him a ship with an adult and I found one I really like (Kamdor from Power Rangers). And this is not even scratching the very complex issue of “The writers of this piece of fiction were ACTUALLY horny for incest and I can see the subtext for it and now I gotta figure out what to do with this mess because I like the series and I do want the characters to have partners who will treat them right.”

That said...up until recently, I looked up to the more extreme proship community, even so far as to kinda be more of an “anti-anti.” But as time went on, that...didn’t seem to fit. I’ve unfollowed a few of those blogs now because first of all, proshipping as a “political party” seems to come with some things I don’t believe in, such as forming a parasocial relationship with AO3 or saying that freedom of fans to ship what they want means the creators of mainstream media should be allowed to portray whatever they want and that being “critical of media you consume” is an automatic dogwhistle for bullies. More importantly: I have at least one friend who I know leans more anti, and I value her a lot and I think it’s valid for her to have her boundaries. After a while, the things that anti-antis did to protect themselves from bullying started to feel a little bit like bullying right back. I can’t really call myself a traditional proshipper anymore, even though I’m definitely not an anti. But I don’t want to be an “anti-anti” either. Because actually, I USED to be an anti on a different social media platform long before Tumblr, and though I can’t tell you exactly why I was that way, I can understand what it’s like to feel that strongly about things that gross you out and want to get them out of your face. I don’t want to say I’m against a whole bunch of people who are probably as varied in intensity as proshippers are.

At the end of the day, what I want is for us all to CHILL OUT. Can we please, PLEASE just focus on having fun in whatever way that comes - problematic ships or no - so long as people IRL aren’t getting hurt? Can we respect that there are probably a LOT of people with OCD on social media who spiral easily if shamed too much (which is probably how the anti movement rose in the first place - I’m sure my anti phase was fueled by my secular scrupulosity)? Can we not assume that people who ship weird age gaps are Actual Pedophiles, which is an entirely separate issue? (Listen...I grew up in the Age of AkuRoku. I hated AkuRoku. But if all the AkuRoku shippers turned out to be pedos, well, the news sure didn’t cover it. I’m saying the majority of them didn’t. And it’s been a decade.) Can we not spread the fear of being cancelled or that having a certain fictional preference will ruin a budding friendship? Can we communicate with one another in private if a friend says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, such as shipping something that makes you question their moral stance? Can actual legitimate creators of media not take sides in the goddamn pro/anti war, thereby making groups of their fans feel alienated from being welcomed by the source? Can we just have fun PLEASE?

Also, just...stop fighting about Reylo. That’s the dumbest thing to fight over and we managed to somehow get the actual SW crew in on that dumbass fight. Some people like Reylo and some people hate Reylo and THAT’S IT. WE’RE DONE HERE.

It sure says something that I worry, before hitting the Post button, that this might ruin some of the relationships I have or inspire a mass exodus of the followers whose names I come to like seeing in my notifications. But it’s ultimately better for all of us if I’m honest.

[jisungsmochi]

not my boyfriend - na jaemin

sort of based off the ariana grande song ‘boyfriend, but also sorta based off this post soo yah. 

summary: it was just harmless fun, until feelings got involved and emotions were in whirl wind. but he wasn’t your boyfriend, despite how badly you wanted him to be. you wanted to cherish moments in life, but na jaemin challenged the nature of these moments. 

lots of mentions of making out (i’m an innocent baby so no suggestive stuff hehe) some angst, ALOT OF FLUFF WOOO

words: 6.5k (oh she long long i’m so sorry its probably poorly written and there’s probably some mistakes woops) 

p.s: please feel free to send in requests because i honestly can’t think of many ideas hehe. now enjoy this imagine!! 

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it was one stupid mistake. a mistake that led to one of the most confusing situations of your life. a harmless game of seven minutes in heaven, at lee jeno’s 18th birthday party, involved you, and acquaintance, na jaemin, making out for four of those minutes.

once the bottle head landed towards you, your eyes widened in shock. not because you didn’t want to play the game, but because of who had spun the bottle. jaemin smirked, his eyes landing on you.

“shall we?, i mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to” he shrugged, playing it off.

“of course she has to! it’s no fun if she backs out of it!” haechan grumbled, everyone ignoring his comment due to his drunk demeanour.

you rolled your eyes at the drunk boy, slightly shoving him so that he fell to his side. you stood up, jaemin following your actions as you both moved to the closet under jeno’s staircase.

once you both had situated yourselves in the closet, you decided to start small talk.

“pretty romantic huh?” you joked, watching as he fiddled with the sleeves of his denim jacket.

“uh yeah i guess” he furrowed his eyebrows at you, not breaking eye contact.

“so are we actually going to do this?” you didn’t mean to come off as nervous, but how could you not?

na jaemin was arguably one of the most popular boys in the grade, and you were locked in this closet, with six minutes left on the clock.

you two used to be friends, of some sort during primary school, but drifted due to difference in cliques. you both silently had each other’s backs, always waving or just smiling at eachother in the hallways. but this was all new to you. so what if you kissed him? would things even change?

“we don’t have much time, i’m just going to kiss you, and you can choose to continue, alright?” jaemin stepped closer to you, supporting your sides as your back leaned against the wall. you didn’t know where this sudden burst of confidence came from but your heart beat wasn’t slowing down anytime soon. you nodded slowly, his hands reached to cup the side of your face. his lips lingering slightly, before flashing you another smirk and pressing your lips together. your hands instinctively reached for his shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze, before he pulled away abruptly.

you needed a moment to process what just had happened mere seconds ago. you wanted to kiss him again, the remaining 5 minutes wasn’t enough. you pulled his shoulders closer, his lips landing on your again, as you continued what he had started. it was messy, but it felt good, you couldn’t deny it. his hands roamed your sides as you played with his hair. you didn’t want it to stop.

a knock on the door interrupted you two,

“1 minute to go!”

you both pulled away, trying to regain some sense of what had just occurred.

“i uh, that was, really good” you muttered, wiping at the sides of your mouth.

“yeah it was, i would like to do it again sometime” he spoke barely above a whisper.

“wait what? do you like me or something?” god you felt so stupid, after his reply.

“uh no, but i like the way you kiss me. it’s kinda hot. if you ever want to do it again, just hit me up. kinda like friends with benefits, but not with the actual sexual acts” he came closer to you, his hand stroking your hair softly.

his proposition went against all of your morals as a person. why would you make out with someone you aren’t dating? it was so bizarre. you couldn’t wrap your head around it.

“so what you’re saying is that, we can make out and stuff but we aren’t going to be boyfriend and girlfriend?” you needed to clarify, incase this was some weird prank.

“yeah pretty much, i think you’re cute and all but i’m just not into that whole dating thing.” he shrugged before continuing “how about this, meet me at the back gates after school on tuesday, if you have thought it over and agree”

you bit your lip consciously. he was giving you a choice.

“and times up!!” jeno opened the door, eyes landing on the awkward position of you leaning against the wall with jaemin folding his arms and smirking.

“think about it, i kinda hope you say yes” jaemin turned to you before shooting you a smile and walking to join the rest of the group. he left you struck with confusion.

what has he done?

later that night when you were in bed, your mind drifted to that moment. the more you thought about it, you realised that jaemin hasn’t actually been in a serious relationship. he did have one last year but, it was clearly one sided, leaving the poor girl in shattered pieces. jaemin wasn’t completely heartless, from what you were aware of, he was just unable to commit to anything really. he wasn’t a bad person, at least, you truly hoped he wasn’t. if you were to agree to his bizarre proposition, how would that reflect you as a person? you continued to think to yourself, what if people found out? would that affect both of your reputations? and the final question that kept occurring, would you end up falling for him?

you still weren’t sure if this was a risk you were willing to take. so on the next monday, the day before you were to tell him if you had agreed, you tried to approach him, to test the extent of your classmate relationship. he was standing alone, leaning against a wall outside of a classroom. you debated whether or not to approach him, or just walk past smoothly and see if he approached you instead. you decided to go with the first option as the second seemed to be a bit of a stretch.

“hey! jaemin” you smiled at him widely, watching as he looked up from his phone and slid it into his jacket pocket.

“oh hey y/n, how are you?” he politely spoke, crossing his arms while shooting you a small grin.

“i’m good, uh are you waiting for someone?” you leaned over his shoulder to see inside the classroom.

“ah yeah, jeno is asking some questions and is taking longer than expected. at this rate he may as well just stay there for the whole lunch break” jaemin rolled his eyes.

you nodded, unsure of how to continue. you really didn’t think this through that well.

“not to be rude, but why are you talking to me right now? i mean, we haven’t spoken to eachother at school since like, the eighth grade” he chuckled softly, causing you to become speechless. how were you meant to say that you wanted to bait him into talking to you before you confirmed your crazy decision to agree to being his secret kissing buddy?

“oh yeah i know, i just uh, since the party and everything i thought we should just start talking again. if that’s okay with you” you avoided giving him eye contact, opting to stare at his shoes, which were quite clean with barely any marks.

“that’s okay with me, considering we will be spending a lot of time alone, right?” his words caught you off guard. were you being too obvious? too desperate?

“uhh what do you mean by that?” you played along, feeling the heat in your cheeks rise.

“you know what i mean, the deal still stands. tomorrow. back gates. hope to see you” he winks before, as if on cue, jeno bursts out of the classroom.

“why do we need to use geometry? it’s pointless” he groans before noticing you.

“oh hi y/n! wanna join us for lunch?” he smiled at you softly.

“it’s okay, thank you for the offer, bye guys!” you quickly blurted before turning and walking away swiftly. damn na jaemin and his good charisma. it almost sealed the deal.

the end of school on tuesday, signalled a moment of uneasiness for you. after placing your books into your bag, you made your way through the halls. many students rushing to get home, but you, were debating on where to go. as you trailed to the back exit of the school, your heart was pounding. you didn’t want to regret anything in your life, but this was a massive gamble. it would have been safe to say that when you were kids, you did have a silly crush on jaemin. but that came naturally, almost every girl in your fifth grade class had a crush on him. he was grown now. taller, more reserved, more handsome. you did want to kiss him again. you really did. but was it worth all of this?

jaemin’s figure came in sight, he was tapping away on his phone, probably playing some mobile game. he didn’t notice you initially until you were centimetres away from him.

“you scared me” he jolted back a bit before letting out a soft chuckle. he locked his phone before making eye contact with you.

“i’m assuming you’ve thought it over” he got straight to the point. you clearly weren’t the only one thinking about it.

“yeah, i have. and, i do want to take you up on the offer” you began, feeling anxious on his response. “but not without some concerns!” you avoided looking at him, but still felt his eyes focused on you.

“we can only make out in private, given that you don’t want it to seem we’re in a relationship and all” you began, looking over at him to make sure he was listening. he nodded gently at your words, waiting for you to continue.

“and i guess, just, don’t hurt me. if you don’t want to continue with this, please tell me. i really don’t want to feel used, so also respect my decisions on how this goes as well! because you can’t be the only one who dictates everyt-“

your eyes widened, your posture stiffened as jaemin smashed his lips onto yours. he pulled away instantly, watching as you stared in shock.

“you talk way too much” he mumbled, face still close to yours.

“well, that’s a good way to keep me quiet” you almost whimpered, shocked at how he had so much power over you. yet, you enjoyed every second of it. you decided to kiss him back this time, repeating the exact actions as previously in the closet.

what have you gotten yourself into?

after that day, jaemin started hanging around you at school more. it wasn’t too often that people would suspect you two were a thing, but enough for them to acknowledge that you were friends. you both had haechan as a mutual friend. he was surprised to see both you and jaemin conversing next to your locker.

“yeah honestly i don’t like going to the soccer games but the boys make me go because jeno is playing” jaemin starts ranting to you, causing you to laugh in response.

suddenly haechan approaches, you noticed, rolling your eyes awaiting some sort of teasing from him.

“well what do we have here? jaemin and y/n actually becoming friends?” he lightly joked, shoving both of your shoulders.

“yeah very funny” you groaned before crossing your arms.

“didn’t you know? y/n were hella tight back in the day, right?” jaemin fed off of haechan’s comedic energy, making you softly smile.

“that’s right, i remember when you forgot your swimmers at home at my pool party in the 5th grade so you had to wear your undies” you let out a loud chuckle, causing haechan to also laugh, whilst pointing at jaemin.

to your surprise, jaemin also let out a small chuckle, running a hand through his hair “ah yes, one of my proudest moments, you forgot to mention that your best friend also confessed to me on that day” he retaliated back, damn he was good. haechan also laughed in response to his words,

 “you two are hilarious, i’m glad we can all hang out now! y/n, come to jeno  soccer game this friday! let jaemin pick you up since you guys are now besties” haechan insisted. you shot your eyes to jaemin.

“yeah sounds good” jaemin complied, resulting in haechan to nod in response before bidding a goodbye and running off to get food.

“i thought you said you didn’t like going to his games?” you turned to jaemin who was fiddling with his sleeves.

“uh yeah, well i mean, maybe it’s time to change. might also give us an excuse to make out”. this would be one of the first times you would make out, outside of school, it was an understatement to say you were looking forward to friday.

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“y/n! someone is here to see you!” your brother, chenle, yelled from the front door. he was slightly pissed off due to being interrupted from his video game. you rushed to the door, bidding a quick goodbye to your brother, telling him that you’ll bring him back a corn dog or something. jaemin smiled at you in awe, but quickly masked it with asking you,

“do you know much about soccer?”

you contemplated for a moment before answering, “i guess the basics, sometimes chenle watches it on tv but he usually watches basketball”

jaemin watches you with every word, not realising you both had reached his car. he shook himself out of his short daze and opened the door for you to enter the passenger side, he wasn’t sure why he did it. usually he would let people just open the door for themselves, but he just wanted to do this for you.

once he entered the car, he looked at you, giving you a small smile before leaning in. your heart was pounding, you knew what was coming. he placed his lips on yours like he had many time before, pulling away after a short five seconds. you smiled into the kiss, pulling him back which made him let out a small giggle that just made your heart flutter.

“hey we can’t get carried away, jeno will be grumpy if we show up late!” jaemin muttered, before starting the car. he always seemed to be the one changing the subject, but you didn’t mind, there would plenty of opportunities for you both to continue.

it was half time of the game, haechan and renjun went to the bathroom and grab some food, leaving you and jaemin alone. it was fairly cold that night, which you didn’t expect, as you wore a large grey hoodie and some shorts. jaemin had placed his jacket into your lap, making you blush.

“come with me” jaemin whispered in your ear, sending a small shiver down your spine. he grabbed your wrist gently, leading you towards the car park. you learn against the back of his car, as he began kissing your cheeks. you softly giggled, interrupting him,

“it’s getting cold, put this back on” you referred to his jacket in which he complied. after putting his jacket on, you grabbed the collar of the jacket and pulled him towards you.

“nice move” he mumbled, not wasting time as he leaned in. your hands were tangled in his hair, his hands placed at the top of your hips, slightly rubbing your sides. your back started to ache due to the pressure of being pressed against the car but you didn’t really care at this moment. your head moved to the right as did he, everything just fit in place. he pulled away momentarily, placing his forehead on yours,

“god you’re so pretty”

your mouth opened, a wave of surprise taking over you. he hadn’t really complimented you before, nonetheless look so deeply into your eyes whilst saying such sweet words.

before you could even have a chance to respond, he pulled you close to him, stroking your hair softly.

“let’s get back, the others might be suspicious” he whispered, letting your arms slowly intertwine, as you walked back to the bleachers. na jaemin was gorgeous. confusing. yet, he was the only person that could have ever made you enjoy this situation.

a few weeks had passed since the soccer game. you and jaemin weren’t talking as much as you had hoped, but there was plenty of kissing involved.

he had began to be more touchy with you, which you didn’t mind at all, but it always led you to believe there was something more, until you were hit with reality.

haechan’s birthday party was coming up soon, and you were pretty excited. you were hoping there would be another game of seven minutes in heaven, only with jaemin. he told you that he would pick you up once again, in which you honestly didn’t have any other choice. you were finishing up putting on your shoes, when jaemin rang your doorbell. you opened the door, rather too quickly, causing the corner to hit your toe. you groaned in pain, causing you to fall forward, resulting in jaemin holding you up.

“i’m so clumsy, sorry” your face flushed a bright red shade, jaemin smirking at your adorable reaction. you closed the door behind you before jaemin wrapped his arm around your shoulders. you couldn’t deny the ecstatic feeling you got when jaemin was affectionate with you in the slightest ways. from simple hand holding, when no one was looking, to small brushes of your elbows, any sort of contact made your heart swoon. 

you both arrived at the party, feeling many eyes on you two. jaemin still had his arm wrapped around your shoulders, leading you into haechan’s house which was already a mess. he led you both to the kitchen, where jeno was furiously shoving people away from him in order to grab some water.

“oh there you guys are! i’ve lost haechan, he’s gone wild!” jeno panted, before sipping from the water bottle he tried so hard to obtain.

“ehh he’s probably having the time of his life” jaemin shrugged, moving his hand down to attach to your waist. this caught jeno’s attention, causing him to cough awkwardly.

“i’m gonna go find him, incase he’s throwing up somewhere, have fun you guys” he smiled brightly before rushing off. jaemin pulled you closer to him, his back leaning against the side of the counter with you standing in between his legs. he tangled your fingers together, holding onto them gently.

“why are you suddenly being so soft huh?” you decided to tease.

“i mean, i can stop if you want me to” he retaliated, letting go of your hands dramatically. you laughed at his childish ways, before grabbing his hands again. you placed a small kiss on his knuckles, which made his heart stop. he couldn’t deny the feelings he had for you, but things don’t always go his way. he’d rather have you as just a temporary thing, than someone he had to commit to, putting him at risk of jeopardising the relationship. you stared up at him, watching as he rubbed you surface of your hands so softly. he brought one of his hands to cup your cheek, before leaning in and giving you a soft kiss. you were going to continue, when suddenly haechan came up to you guys, clearly drunk.

“come upstairs, we’re gonna play spin the bottle”

you looked over at jaemin who just raised an eyebrow before guiding you along with him to go upstairs.

to avoid any more suspicions from people at the party on the status of you and jaemin, you both decided to sit at opposite sides of the circle. jeno sat next to you and renjun was on your other side.

haechan span the bottle first, as expected of the birthday boy, landing on the class president, siyeon. it was an unspoken rumour that they had a thing, but never really acted on it, until now. siyeon made her way over to haechan before smashing her lips on his, catching him off guard. everyone just ended up clapping, as they both made their moves.

next it was jaemin’s turn to spin. you were internally praying it would land on you. the bottle span so slowly in your mind, frustrating you as you were curious of the outcome. it finally came to a halt, but to your loss, it landed on nayoung. she wasn’t just any girl. she was the girl who his friends always thought he would end up with. his ideal girl, subjectively. before you and jaemin started your thing, you always saw him and nayoung around school together. rumours always spurred that they were dating but nothing more came from it. so when you were seated there, as jaemin leaned to kiss her. you felt a small fraction of your heart crack. you watched as her arms wrapped around his neck, just like how yours did mere minutes ago. you watched as his continued kissing her as if he couldn’t stop. but then you realised. you two weren’t serious. this whole agreement wasn’t meant to make you feel hurt like this. you weren’t meant to get jealous. you weren’t meant to feel like you were literally going to have an emotional breakdown. but you just couldn’t detach your emotions from the physical affections of na jaemin. and that was your own fault.

jeno noticed how uncomfortable you had gotten, leading him to tap your shoulder. tears glossed over your eyes, you wiped them away quickly before looking at him.

“do you need some air?” he offered, anything would be better than being here right now. you nodded before getting up from the circle, taking one last look at jaemin who was glaring at jeno, who had put his arm around your shoulder.

jeno led you to the front of the house, and sat with you on haechan’s porch swing.

“you don’t have to answer me but are you okay?” he gave you a solemn look.

you hesitated answering, unsure of what his intentions were but you were so distraught, you needed to blow off some steam.

“i’m not sure to be honest. i want to be okay, but everything in there was too much” you tried to be as vague as possible.

“was it nayoung and jaemin?” you heart ached again. why couldn’t it just stop?

you didn’t want to respond, jeno noticed, deciding not to push any further.

“just so you know. jaemin isn’t as horrible as he seemed up there. yes, what he did, was really unfair to you. and yes, we’ve noticed that you two seem to have some kind of thing going on” jeno let it out to you.

“we don’t have a thing” you denied.

“don’t lie to yourself. there is something there. he would never have brought someone to his friend’s party, with his arm slinging around them.”

you didn’t know what to say back to him. jeno just kept looking at you, searching for some type of reaction.

“well it doesn’t look like there will be anything soon. i’m going to end it. it hurts too much” you merely whispered, tears falling at this point. jeno rubbed your shoulder gently, comforting you in the best way he could.

“you’re never going to tell him how you feel?” he pleaded.

“why would i? i don’t want to deal with rejection. can you just take me home?” you sighed in frustration. jeno decided not to talk about it further and drop you off at home, where you ran to your room and sobbed for the rest of the night.

screw na jaemin.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

unfortunately you had contracted the flu due to being out in the cold for that night without a jacket. you subjected to your mum’s warnings as she continually scolded you on always bringing a jacket. chenle chuckled at your scoldings, causing you to throw a pillow at him, eventually missing each time.

“hey you rat, throw the pillow at me again and i won’t buy you any bubble tea when i come back from school” chenle threatened. you rolled your eyes before groaning, “fine that’s fair, and i would like an earl grey milk tea with pearls thank you very much!” you shouted as he was already one foot out the door. you sighed before scrolling through endless posts on instagram. you stumbled on some photos from haechan’s party, many were just drunk teenagers posing in the most awkward positions you had ever seen.

suddenly, your phone started ringing, an unknown number appearing. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before answering.

“hello?” you asked hesitantly.

“hey, is this y/n?” you recognised that voice, it was renjun

“yeah it’s me, what’s up?” you continued, interested in what he had to say.

“there’s something you need to know. since you’re not at school today, you aren’t witnessing the wrath of jaemin. last night after you left, jaemin pretty much beat up jeno, thinking he was trying to hit on you or something. i’m not too sure of the facts. but anyway, jeno is busted up at the moment and jaemin is just treating us guys like trash, can you please tell your boyfriend to come to his senses?” renjun was clearly irritated with the whole situation, as were you. jaemin had never been the violent type in your eyes. sure he presented a ‘dark’ and ‘edgy’ image for himself. but you had never imagined something like this to come from him. also, renjun calling jaemin your boyfriend, had you even more stunned.

“he’s not my boyfriend” you groaned.

“yeah well tell him that, you need to talk to him. i just thought i should tell you so you don’t hear fabricated lies when you come back.” he let out a short sigh at the other end, clearly at a loss for words.

“thank you for telling me, i appreciate it a lot. i’ll talk to jaemin but i can’t guarantee anything” you were being honest. even though jaemin was soft and cuddly around you, didn’t mean he listened to every single one of your concerns. and last night really didn’t help your relationship at all. this was going to be a mission.

when you returned to school, two days after the phone call, jaemin almost immediately walked up to you and pulled you aside. you took a minute to process what had happened.

“uh hi?” it came out more like a question, as you didn’t expect him to even talk to you, especially at school.

“where have you been? you haven’t been at school” he asked you, with a stern tone.

“i had the flu” you shrugged, not sure where this was going.

“why didn’t you message me? i was waiting for you” he slightly pouted , causing you to pout back.

“i’m sorry, we just really need to talk face to face” you admitted. he nodded in return, walking you to his car. you both sat inside of it, memories of that night rushing back to you.

“okay first off, i’m just gonna come clean and tell you that i beat up jeno. i’m not proud of it. i’ve treated the guys like shit because i can’t get myself to apologise. god what’s wrong with me?” he let out, slamming his hands on the dashboard. you remained calm.

“at least you could admit you were at fault. just let the steam cool off before you go and apologise. they don’t deserve to be treated that way. what was it all about anyway?” you hoped he answered truthfully.

“it was about you. i kinda got mad that you and jeno went to talk. i just thought that, he was going to make a move on you or something. and i heard he took you home which just made me even more mad. i don’t know why. i don’t know what came over me” he admitted. he was so vulnerable, so innocent. you didn’t know what to make of it.

“but did you literally forget that you kissed nayoung right in front of me?” you retorted, slightly fed up with his blame on others.

he opened his mouth before closing it again, remaining silent.

“that’s what i thought. jeno was comforting me because i was upset about you kissing her. i know we both said that feelings wouldn’t get involved but quite frankly i can’t help it. every time you hold my hand or kiss me i feel like i’m over the moon. i get so happy when you message me at night to sneak out so we can make out in the back of your car. i get excited when you hold my waist while we walk in public. i like the way you kiss me like there’s no one else in the room. but that night, made me realise how delusional i was. i think we should just end this whole thing. it hasn’t been such a positive experience for the both of us. i’m sorry, jaemin, that i couldn’t detach my emotions from our physical connection. i hope you’re okay with that.” and before he could say anything back, you got out of his car and walked to your first class, tears threatening to spill, but you had to hold it in. why did it have to be like this?  

days and weeks went by with no contact from jaemin. you had checked up on jeno to see if he was doing okay, and he assured you that jaemin had apologised to him and his friends. which only left you. you felt selfish for expecting an apology from jaemin. what did he need to apologise for? you were the one who caught feelings, even when he stated he probably wouldn’t reciprocate them. god you felt so stupid.

you noticed that he didn’t attend many of his classes, specifically the ones you shared together. it made you worried, even though you hated to admit it. but you cared for him. and you weren’t stopping anytime soon.

it the the final soccer game of the season. jeno was pumped for it, and invited you to come and watch. you decided to go, just to spend some time with the rest of the boys. you lowkey wanted jaemin to come, but unfortunately he had told jeno he wasn’t going to attend. you felt slightly disheartened, expecting that maybe, just maybe he would come to see you. but that was you trying to believe in something that didn’t exist.

as you watched the game intensely, haechan and renjun were shouting beside you, cheering for jeno. you laughed at their silly chants and funny faces they were making at him. these were the moments you wanted to cherish. you received a notification at the moment, taking out your phone:

jaemin: meet me in the car park, i’m standing outside of my car. i need to tell you something

you stared at your screen intently, unsure of what to do next. they two boys noticed, worried due to your expression.

“what’s wrong?” renjun asks.

“jaemin wants to talk, he’s here right now” you told them, they looked at eachother then back at you.

“you should talk to him” haechan suggested, renjun nodding along 

“yeah what’s the worse that could happen” they both shrugged. 

you sort of agreed before getting up and saying goodbye to them. you made your way to the car park, heart pounding out of your chest. jaemin came into view, he leaned against his car. his hair was parted to the right, his skin was illuminating under the lamp post, his jacket draped over his shoulders effortlessly. gosh he was stunning. but he wasn’t yours.

“hey” you approached him quietly.

“oh hey” he almost seemed shocked to see you in front of him. it would have been almost three weeks since you had properly spoken.

“what did you want to talk about?” you stepped closer to him, wanting him to hold you in this cold weather, but you were sadly disappointed when he shot you a confused look.

“i think i just need to be honest with you” he sighed, accepting defeat in the battle of his emotions.

“i had a crush on you when we were in primary. you were the only girl that was ballsy enough to invite me to her birthday party, which just made me so happy that, wow, this little girl had some confidence!” he smiled so widely, it made your knees weak.

“i knew i wanted to be friends with you for the longest time. and we did, but then life just got in the way and we never really got to be close. i had always admired you from afar, that sounds so creepy but uh, i just would always pay attention to you in class. and whenever someone spoke badly about you, i was always on their case. i don’t know if it was out of annoyance or the fact that i may have still had a silly crush on you. but there was just something about you that i just wanted to get to know.” at this point he couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“nayoung was just a distraction for me. i sound like such a dick for putting it that way but i just wanted to get her to help me stop thinking about you. i was so cold to you, prior to jeno’s party. when we got chosen to go in the closet i just went out on a whim and hoped that i would be able to kiss you at least once in my lifetime, even if it was in a stuffy closet” you both laughed, you stepped closer to jaemin, making him look you in the eyes.

“and when you agreed to kiss me whenever i wanted and let me hug you and hold your hand, god i thought my heart was going to explode. i tried so hard to put up this front that i didn’t want to commit because well, i was scared. i’m scared of fucking things up with you. i knew it would be my fault that we didn’t work. and look what happened. i fucked up by kissing nayoung, i wanted to prove to myself that i really had fallen for you. i didn’t feel a single spec of a spark with her. but every time i kissed you, it was like, a thousand bolts of electricity shot through me, okay that was hella corny” he chuckled, before resting his hands on top of yours.

“so what i wanted to tell you is that. i’m not scared anymore. the last time you spoke to me just really impacted me. i needed to reevaluate everything as soon as i could. i’m so sorry it took me this long to finally apologise to you. but i am so sorry for hurting you. that was the last thing i wanted to do. but i wouldn’t take back what i did, because it wouldn’t have led me to this moment. y/n, i have fallen for you. pretty damn hard. you’ve made me cry, made me jealous and made me even beat up my best friend. i’m so crazy for you and i just want you to still feel that for me. do you?” he stared into your eyes with such vulnerability and fragility. you rested your palm to his cheek, wiping away a single tear that shed from his eye. you nodded a bit too aggressively.

“who said i ever stopped?” you smirked before going on your tippy toes to pull him into a short but sweet kiss.

“i truly don’t deserve you. please forgive me” he whined into the kiss, making you smile even more.

“of course i forgive you. even though some of the things you did were completely idiotic and made me want to yank out your hair. i can’t deny that i have strong feelings for you. and i would really like to see how we can be without having to sneak around and only make out. i want to go on dates with you, na jaemin! i want to meet your family and go to cute cafes and eat so much food we both develop food babies! i want to go on an adventure with you, whatever the risks are. i’m willing to take it” you spoke with such emotion, you both ended up crying. jaemin pulled you in for another kiss, this one wasn’t filled with such tension as the first time, but this time it just felt right. he was finally yours.

[ 2 months later ]

you were all hanging out at jaemin’s house, watching a silly children’s movie and critiquing it to the core. you were snuggled up against jaemin’s side, with his arm over your shoulders. he would give you small pecks on your forehead throughout the film, making you blush each time. you would bury your head into his shoulder whenever you felt tired which just made his heart flutter ecstatically.

jaemin decided to throw some popcorn at renjun who had fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position. you were all giggling at the situation, causing renjun to stir awake from his sleep.

“ugh, y/n can you please tell your boyfriend to stop annoying me?!” renjun irritatedly groaned.

“hes not my boyfriend!” you decided to joke.

“hey!!!” jaemin pouted from bestie you, crossing his arms.

“i’m kidding” you whispered to him before pulling him in for a kiss.

“gross, why did we encourage them to get together?” haechan rolled his eyes before throwing a pillow at you two.

“let them be!” jeno retorted before throwing a pillow at haechan. you all erupted into a fit of laughter before continuing with the agenda for the night.

after the boys had left jaemin’s house, you prepared to sleep over, as it was the first time, you were more than nervous. jaemin came up behind you and hugged you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“whatcha thinking about?” he mumbled into your skin.

“you” you flirted, turning to face him. he smiled widely, pulling you closer to him so that your chests met. he leaned down, capturing your lips in his. he led you towards his bed, both of you collapsing onto the mattress. you both positioned yourselves to face eachother in bed. he pulled you into his chest, softly rubbing up and down your arm.

“jaems” you whispered.

“hm?” he looked down at you.

“i just wanted to tell you that i love you and you’re super cute” you blushed while looking to see his reaction.

“i-i love you too” he engulfed you in a hug before kissing you all over your face.

“and you are super duper cute!” he giggled, before resuming his attack of kisses on your face.

these were the moments you cherished the most.

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part ix

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii

And here we’ve got part ix! This will be the second-to-last part of the series, I’ve got some thoughts also running around for a possible epilogue if that’s something anyone would be interested in reading. As always, there’s literally nothing writers love more than hearing from you all, so don’t be afraid to come and tell me what you think - my inbox is open, comment on the post, reblog with your thoughts!

part ix

April 27 (tues)

Mat’s mind was racing. If he was honest, he hadn’t been able to concentrate worth a damn since Cass had dropped the news about her job offer. Hong Kong? He knew she was brilliant, knew that her skills could and should take her anywhere in the world she wanted to go; the thought that she might leave New York, leave him, was still terrifying. Becoming more worried by the minute, he pulled out his phone, dialing the first person he could think of that might be able to help. 

Tito answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, Tito. What’s up?” Mat asked nervously. 

“What’s wrong, Mat?” He immediately asked. Mat cursed under his breath; even over the phone, Beau was always able to read him like a book. 

Mat grimaced. “That obvious, huh?”

“Mat, we see each other pretty much every day. Not to be a jerk or something, but you don’t really call me unless something’s wrong. What is it? Did you and Cass have a fight?” Mat could imagine him crossing his arms on the other end. 

“Not exactly,” he said, scratching his head as he wandered aimlessly around the park. “She got this job offer, and it sounds like a really exciting opportunity, but…” He trailed off. 

“But?”

“It’s all the way in Asia. It’s in Hong Kong.” 

Tito sucked in a breath. “Oh, wow. That’s a big one. Big move. Has she said if she’s going to take it?”

“Not really, she hasn’t decided.” Mat shook his head, not realizing Tito wouldn’t be able to see. “We talked through it a little, they’re offering a really good starting salary and she likes the company values, but it’s such a huge jump that she’s not ready to make the call yet.” 

“Did you talk about what it would mean for you as a couple?”

“A little, though not as much as we probably should have,” Mat admitted. “Neither of us would want to break it off just because it would be long distance, but logistically it would just be a nightmare. It’s something like a 15 hour flight from New York, so it’s not like either of us would ever be able to make that more than once or twice a year. Did you know that it’s a twelve hour time difference from here?”

“No,” Tito said, “and it’s obviously not like I know exactly what you’re going through. Paige is a kindergarten teacher, so it’s not exactly like her job would suddenly pick up and move to another country. But it’s obviously a different story with me.”

As distracted as he was, Mat felt compelled to respond. “You know they’re going to resign you, right? It would be a terrible move for them if they didn’t.”

“Yeah, I mean that’s what I’ve figured,” Beau responded. “And my agent told me to expect negotiations to start in the next month or so, but still. I could be sent to Winnipeg or Phoenix or Vancouver pretty much without notice, and I wouldn’t want to ask her to just pick up her whole life and follow me. So, I get the feeling.” He paused for a moment. “How do you feel about it?”

“Mixed feelings,” Mat answered honestly. “I’d never want to hold her back from anything, that’s not the kind of person I am and it’d be a dick move regardless. She’s her own person and deserves to be able to make her own decisions. And I would never want her to grow to resent me if she decided to stay for my sake. That would almost be worse. I just..I really love her, Tito, and I would hate for us to never be able to see eachother because of her job. Or worse, for this to mean the end of us because the distance was too hard to deal with.”

It took Tito a minute to respond. “I know you love her, Mat. It’s pretty obvious. You look at her like she hung the moon. But if they all say that things will work out if you love each other and talk it through, then what are you so worried about?”

Mat took a deep breath before answering, trying to gather his thoughts as best he could. When he spoke, his voice wavered. “Because I’ve never been this gone for a girl, Tito. What Cass and I have...I don’t even know how to describe it. I’d stop the Earth turning if it made her happy. It’s just...she’s it for me. I’m done looking. And the idea that I could be 13,000 kilometers away from her isn’t even something I had considered. I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.”

“Wow. That’s...that’s big, Mat. You serious?”

“As a heart attack,” he replied. 

“When do they need to hear back by?” Tito asked.

Mat looked down at his watch, checking the time. “Not for a few weeks. She’s got some time to decide, which is almost worst.”

Tito hummed sympathetically. “Just talk it through. I can’t pretend like I know what’s going to happen, but I have faith in you. It’s going to work out.”

“I hope so.”

 May 13 (thurs)

 It was nine days before Cass graduated, and if she was being honest, her time may have objectively been better spent studying for her finals, the first of which was Monday. But this was Mat, and this was the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and she supposed that her studies could wait for a night while she spent her evening at Barclays. It was Game 5 of the Eastern Conference final, and there was no way she was going to miss her team’s chance at the Wales trophy. The tone in the arena was tense from the moment she stepped in; ever the optimist, Cass liked the Islanders’ chances, but the fact remained that they were down 3-1 in the series after a 4-0 rout by the Lightning in Game 4. The series had started off with forward momentum after winning the first game at home, but the three-game losing streak had done little for the fans’ hopes and even less for the team’s morale. 

The only bright spot, if she could call it that, was Mat’s return to the ice. He knew as well as anything that the recovery time was for his own good, but he wasn’t made to be cooped up in his apartment for nearly two weeks straight, save only doctor’s appointments and short trips to the complex gym. Per his usual dramatic fashion, Mat had been cleared in time for Game 7 of the second round, returning to raucous cheers and scoring two goals in the eventual 4-2 win over the Capitals. She had caught up enough on her work to be able to make the game, and it was one of the great joys of her life to be up in a box surrounded by her friends when the love of her life scored the goal that sent the Islanders to the conference finals for the first time in nearly thirty years. 

That kind of a dramatic win had made the losing streak that much harder. Game sevens are always exciting, especially with someone coming back off of injured reserve. While the win hadn’t made the team cocky by any means, the confidence had carried over into something more closely resembling complacency. They won Game 7, they won the first of the next series, so some of the team — mostly the younger players who hadn’t yet cut their teeth in the league — had made the mistake of assuming that the rest of the round would be smooth sailing. They should have known better, Cass thought ruefully as the Lightning scored two minutes before the first intermission to even the score at 1-1. Why couldn’t this be the round before, filled with confidence and coordination and laser-focused passing on every line? Why couldn’t it have been the celebration after? 

---

May 3 (tues)

 Winning a game sometimes called for going out. Winning a series almost definitely called for going out. And winning a series in Game 7 that sent your team to the conference finals for the first time in recent memory called for going out, and going out hard. As much as Cass would have loved to get as hammered as the rest of the group, especially considering the stress she was under with finals and graduation and her job offer piling up, they didn’t want a repeat of the afterparty from the All-Star Game, and Cass still had school the next day. So, she had committed to limiting herself to three drinks. “I want to be tipsy, not shitfaced,” she had explained to Paige on the drive over. Tito had driven his car over, Paige volunteering to DD so the boys could let loose and everyone could let off some much-needed steam. 

Someone had already opened up a tab for everyone by the time their car had gotten there, and it wasn’t ten minutes before they had claimed a few couches in the corner and Cass had a caipirinha in her hand. She was a little worried that Mat’s tolerance had tanked in the past few weeks; he hadn’t really drank since before the concussion and it was their first time at a bar in a few weeks regardless. Mat noticed her nervous glances out of the corner of his eye. “I’m fine,” he reassured her. “I specifically asked the doctors if I was good to drink at my last appointment and they said I was in the clear.”

Cass giggled, sipping her drink. “You asked your doctors if you could drink alcohol?”

“What can I say?” Mat shrugged. “I wanted to go out and get lit with friends, can you blame me?”

Cass’ giggles had evolved into full-on belly laughs. “Lit? What are you, sixteen?”

Mat’s cheeks reddened in what was probably a combination of alcohol and embarrassment. “My cousin said it once.”

Cass headed back over to the bar a few minutes later for another drink, leaving the boys to talk amongst themselves with the occasional interruption from an excited fan. On a high from the win, the team were more than happy to take photos and have quick chats with anyone who stopped them, and thankfully weren’t mobbed by the crowd inside the bar. For the most part, Cass and her relationship with Mat had been able to fly under the radar — well, as much as she could being Mat Barzal’s other half. Her Instagram hadn’t been private since college, and while a fair few fans and fanpages followed her, it had all remained mercifully low-key. Waiting at the bar, she resigned herself to scroll through Twitter for a few minutes, knowing it would be a little while before the bartender got to her. 

“Are you Cassidy Shaw?” Cass’ head turned slowly towards her right, where a short blonde girl looked at her with a shocked expression. 

“Cabrera Shaw, but yes?” She answered slowly. 

“Sorry!” The girl apologized, “I didn’t mean to be weird or anything. I follow you on Instagram, it’s just so weird to finally see you in person.” Cass gave a nervous laugh. She had fans? On Instagram? Who were excited if they met her in real life? 

“One Southside and whatever your favorite IPA on tap is, please,” Cass said to the bartender who had just leaned over the counter to get her order. “Thank you? You’re welcome?” Cass smiled awkwardly.

“I just wanted to say that I think it’s super cool how you’re not a typical WAG or anything. My name’s Sierra, I’m a junior at St. John’s. I’m applying for law school next year. It’s just, like, awesome to see a woman being successful in her own right apart from her partner, especially when they’re in such a visible position and it’s not what’s expected of them. I’m sorry — I’m rambling, aren’t I?” 

Cass laughed, a genuine one this time. “No, you’re totally good. Don’t worry. That’s really sweet of you to say, thanks a lot!” She sipped the Southside the bartender had just handed her, sliding Mat’s beer over. “Yeah, I have so much respect for the other women who choose to do more philanthropic work or be stay-at-home moms, but that’s not what I feel pulled to. Right now, at least.” 

“Right, totally,” Julia said, grabbing what looked like a rum and coke from the other bartender. “Anyways, I should let you get back to the celebration. Tell the team congratulations, it was a great game to watch!” 

Cass picked up the other glass, nodding. “I will. Thank you for your kind words, that was sweet of you to say.”

“Anytime!” Julia chirped happily. 

Cass walked carefully back over to the group, keeping an eye on the drinks. She handed Mat’s beer to him. He looked up curiously, taking a sip. “Something hold you up at the bar?”

She shook her head, then nodded, then shook it again. “Kind of? I think I just had my first fan encounter.”

He laughed, leaning over to plant a kiss on her cheek. “Comes with the territory, babe.”

---

The game was scoreless through the second period, which didn’t help the tension in the stadium or Cass’ blood pressure. She and Paige had decided to get actual seats for the game, which Mat and Tito were more than happy to arrange. The Islanders were doing well through the first half of the third period, other than a little bit of messy passing the lines were good. But good wasn’t good enough sometimes, good wasn’t close enough to score and give them the lead. Cass’ heart sank as soon as one of the defensemen, she wasn’t sure who, made a turnover in the neutral zone to give the Lightning the puck. Kucherov picked it off, skating past the defenders and around the goal while the rest of the line nearly tripped over themselves trying to skate back in time. 

She was on the edge of her seat as he wrapped around the goal, silently praying that Varlamov would somehow be able to get a piece of the puck with his blocker or that it would have one of those one-in-a-million deflections off of the post. You could hear a pin drop in the stadium as everyone waited for the shot; tall of the sudden, time seemed to move like molasses. And then the puck went in, the red light went on, and the scattered sections of blue-and-white clad Lightning fans threw their arms up in celebration. 

Cass allowed herself exactly ten seconds to hold her head in her hands. There was still seven minutes, thirty nine seconds left. There was still time. Then there was five minutes, forty-two seconds left, and Maroon got two minutes for tripping, and that was their chance. That was supposed to be their chance. But then the penalty came and went, and it was three minutes left. Two minutes left. They pulled Varlamov at one minutes fifty-eight seconds left, and then it was the last shift. Forty-nine seconds left, and it was time for a Hail Mary. Out of habit, Cass’s lips began moving in the prayer. Hail Mary, full of grace...It was a holdover from her lacrosse days, when they were down in the last quarter with seemingly no hope in sight. It didn’t always work, but it sometimes did. It didn’t work that night. It didn’t work because the clock ticked down to zero, the score was still 2-1, and the Islanders had lost. They were out of the playoffs. Fans began shuffling out of the rink, shoulders slumped and heads down, as Cass bit her lip and tried not to cry. The team had worked so hard for this. God, they had worked so hard. And if she was taking it this badly, if it was affecting her this much, then she couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like for the guys on the team. 

Paige turned to her after a few minutes, when there were only a handful of people still left in their seats and the Zambonis had come out to resurface the ice one last time. “We should probably get down there, do you think?” She asked softly. Cass nodded. She was referring to the tunnel, outside the locker room where everyone usually got to greet their partners with kisses and hugs and words of congratulations, but where the mood would be profoundly different on that night. Cass grabbed her bag and straightened out her jersey, squeezing Paige’s hand. Neither of them really knew what the environment was going to be like after such a devastating knockout; Paige had started dating Anthony the summer before, and Cass obviously had even less experience. They had dealt with losses, they had dealt with disappointments and losing streaks and points droughts, but this was something new entirely.

They rode the elevator in silence before walking down the corridors to the room, where the rest of the WAGs and other family had congregated. Kerry rubbed her shoulder sympathetically as Lauren walked over. “We in the Islanders family have a lot of experience with getting knocked out of the playoffs,” she said with a weak smile, trying to crack a joke, “so here is how it usually goes. The guys should be coming out in a few, it takes longer than usual because the media typically has some end-of-the-season wrapup questions and Trotz and Anders will probably make speeches or say something. Some others might too.” The two women nodded. “Don’t treat it like just another loss, but it’s also no good to hover too much. It’s obviously a real disappointment, so it usually takes a week or so before most of them bounce back to being their normal selves. They know what coping mechanisms work best for them. Most will hit the gym more, read or cook if they’re into that, something to get their mind off of it. Obviously they’re still players and still want to know how they can get better, so they might want to go over tapes of the games and make notes of where they went wrong. That’s fine, but don’t let them beat themselves up about it too much. This was a hard series, and Mat especially,” she gestured towards Cass, “tends to be more than a little bit of a perfectionist.”

“I’ve noticed,” Cass said. 

“One last thing,” she continued. “Let them process, let them cope, but a loss not an excuse for them to treat you any worse, any less kindly. Be understanding, of course. But don’t take any crap from them, regardless of the circumstance.”

“Thank you,” Paige said gratefully. Cass echoed her sentiment. The next ten minutes were filled with checking emails and making half-hearted conversation before the team started to trail out of the room. Embracing their partners and families, most couples exchanged no more than a few words before turning down the hall that led to the players’ parking lot. Paige left with a squeeze to her shoulder and a promise to get coffee the next week before grabbing Tito’s hand and guiding him towards the cars. 

Unsurprisingly, Mat followed right behind. He hadn’t combed his hair after his shower, the top button of his dress shirt was undone and only haphazardly tucked into his pants. Mat had been on the shift when Kucherov scored, and if there was anything she knew about her boyfriend, it was that he’d take it personally. He dropped his bag on the ground as she embraced him, and the thud against the concrete floor felt as if it could echo all the way across the Long Island Sound. 

“I’m so proud of you, Mat. So, so proud. I know this didn’t end how you wanted it to, but you worked so fucking hard to get here, and that’s what I see. That’s all I see,” she whispered. 

Mat wasn’t crying, but his breathing was labored nonetheless. “I just feel...I feel like I let everyone down. I wasn’t supposed to be that far up on the ice, and if I hadn’t, maybe I would have gotten back in time to steal the puck, or check him or something, or…” He trailed off. 

Cass sighed. “I know, chou, I know how you feel. But just try to remember that this is a team sport. You win with the boys, you lose with the boys. Do you get mad at Tito when he makes a bad play? Or Jordan, or Anders?” Mat shook his head. “It’s the same way with you. They don’t stop being proud of you or think you’re any less of an incredible player because you made a bad decision. Bad decisions get made all the time, and it doesn’t have to reflect on the person who made them. It’s a hard game, love, but you did your best and that’s all anyone ever has a right to ask of you.” 

Mat’s thumb rubbed against the small of her back. “I know I’ll be fine, eventually. I mean, we’ve all dealt with this before. It just seems different this time, because we were so close to actually making the finals. It seems kind of silly to say since I know I’m only 23 and I know I’ve got so much time left to play, but,” he took a shaky breath, “I look at all the veterans, all the amazing players whose entire careers have gone by without ever having gotten the Cup. Lundqvist and Thornton and Marleau and all of these legends. And it sounds kind of selfish and naive, but I don’t want to be one of them.” 

They stood like that for a few more minutes, just holding each other, before either spoke again. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” Cass murmured to Mat as she carded her hands through his hair. She felt a tiny, almost imperceptible nod against her shoulder. Her bag had her laptop, books, and chargers. She had a whole drawer in Mat’s room by then, a combination of stray shirts that were his-turned-hers, a few pairs of leggings — they took up an entire drawer of their own back at her apartment — and balled-up socks from her one unsuccessful attempt at doing the laundry in his building. She had a spare box of tampons in his bathroom, her floral shampoo next to his 2-in-1 Old Spice. No matter how hard she pushed, Mat remained oblivious to the benefits of having separate shampoo and conditioner. 

He pulled away, reaching into his pocket and handing over his keys. “Do you mind driving?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. Whatever you need.”

The ride back home was about forty minutes, and it was almost halfway through before either of them spoke, the lull of the 80s rock channel filling in the silence. “Where’s your head at, Mat?” She asked carefully. 

He was looking out the window, distracted. “Hm?”

She repeated the question and he tensed slightly, leaning back into the passenger seat. “Just feeling kind of...confused about the whole thing. Seems like I’m being pulled in a thousand different directions one day, but then all of the sudden something like this happens and I’ve got nothing. It’s overwhelming. I know I have a life outside of hockey, I know it’s not all of who I am, but sometimes it seems hard to believe that when it seems like that’s all I’m recognized for.” Keeping one hand on the wheel, Cass reached over to cover his hand with her own. His fingers held onto hers like a lifeline. 

“You’re right, you know?” She said as they passed into the Queens-Midtown tunnel. 

“About?”

“Being so much more than people perceive you to be. I get that, it’s like that for me too sometimes. And Mat, you are so much more than ‘just a hockey player.’ You’re a good son and an amazing brother to Liana, and an awesome friend to Tito and the guys on the team and everyone back home. And,” she added, cracking a smile, “you’re a pretty good boyfriend too.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Just pretty good?”

“I didn’t want to fluff your ego too much,” Cass said. “But seriously, Mat. You’re incredible entirely on your own merit. You care so deeply for the people in your life and you love so hard, and it’s an honor and a privilege to be able to witness that firsthand.” 

Mat bent down to the center console, brushing a kiss over her hand. “How do you do it?”

Now it was her turn to question. “Do what?”

“Always know the right thing to say.”

“I don’t,” Cass admitted. “And sometimes I get it wrong. But I know I love you, and I don’t want to see you hurting if there’s anything I can do about it.” The car exited the tunnel into the dotted lights of a Manhattan evening. 

“Well,” he cleared his throat, “if there was an Oscar for pep talks, I’d have to give it to you, hands down. No offense to any of the guys on the team.”

She laughed, stopping at the light. Right on red wasn’t legal in New York City, a rule she found out the hard way two months after moving. “I’m glad it helps.”

“It does,” Mat said softly. “It means the world to me that you care enough to do it. You mean the world to me.”

Her cheeks heated. “You sure know how to flatter a girl, eh, Barzal?”

“I meant every word.”

---

May 20 (thurs)

 She was done. After three years, six semesters, dozens of classes, and hundreds of hours studying, Cass had just finished her last final of law school. Her classmates stumbled out of the lecture hall, not entirely believing that all of their tears and heartache and hard work had come to a head in such an anticlimactic fashion. Turning on her heel, she walked south. It was just before seven, and her friends had a group reservation at some ridiculously extravagant French wine bar. It was Les’ idea, who had a penchant for all things expensive and who had made the reservation months prior because “you never know, John Mayer could book the whole place up and as much as I love dollar slices, we don’t want that to be our only option for what’s supposed to be a very prestigious celebratory dinner.” Les, Fiona, and Samaira were coming, along with Daniel, another editor on the law review, and Robin, one of Cass’ friends from first-year criminal law and the president of the Women’s Law Association. She had initially been wary about inviting Mat; it wasn’t that she didn’t think he’d get along with her law school friends, but she didn’t want him to feel out of the loop. After Les had announced that he was bringing his boyfriend, Xavier, Cass had extended the invite to Mat as well. 

It was only a ten minute walk, and the hostess directed Cass to their table, where she realized that she was the last one to arrive. “Don’t worry,” Robin said, “we’ve just been interrogating your man.” 

Cass scooted in next to Mat, kissing him quickly before rolling her eyes. “I hope you haven’t been too hard on him.”

Mat smiled. “Nah, they’ve been good. But being questioned by six lawyers who all seem very adamant that I don’t deserve you —”

“You don’t,” Samaira cut in, though it was clear she was joking. 

“Was more than a little intimidating,” Mat finished, handing Cass the menu. 

“Order whatever you want, I’m paying,” Daniel said as he flicked through the wine menu. “Well, technically, my parents are.” Daniel came from money; his mom was a partner at a firm in Chicago and his dad was a law professor at the University of Chicago. “If they’re going to insist on sending me to law school and sheltering me my whole life, the least I could do is take advantage of their generosity,” Daniel said, plunking his credit card onto the table. Fifteen minutes later, the group was sharing plates of escargots, crab tartine, and roasted cauliflower; twenty minutes after that, entrées were served. Mat had recognized the waitress’ accent and was chatting to her in French in between plates. Cass sipped on her wine, a pinot noir, and took a moment to look around the room, a moment to relax. Two more days, and she graduated. Everything that she had worked so hard for was finally coming to fruition. She still had to pass the bar in July, sure, but for one night — for a few days, really — she was going to let herself finally rest in the ability of her accomplishments. 

Dessert was maple bourbon crème brûlée with Sauternes, and Mat may have had a little too much fun breaking the caramelized sugar. Cass was full of good food and conversation; after everyone was done it was after nine. Les, Daniel, and Xavier had decided to get drinks, but Robin had barely slept at all that week, Samaira was going to watch a movie at her boyfriend’s, and Cass and Mat had to wake up early to get her grandparents from the airport. Mat took her hand as they walked towards the subway station. He had parked a few blocks away and offered to drive Cass back to her apartment, but she didn’t want him to go out of his way and all things considered, taking the subway at night had become something of a routine for her. 

They walked down Manhattan Avenue, resting in the kind of comfortable silence that only came with being with someone who really gets you. Cass had decided not to take the Hong Kong job the week prior. It was just too much distance from her family and Mat, and while the job seemed interesting enough, it wasn’t the kind of position she thought she could really be happy in long-term. “Have you figured out what you’re doing yet?” Mat asked as they turned the corner. “I’d say you should just move in with me and become a full-time housewife, but something’s telling me that’s not exactly the kind of opportunity you’re searching for.”

 Cass laughed, bumping him with her shoulder. “Tempting offer, the housewife thing, but I think I’m going to have to pass. Plus that would necessitate you wifing me up.” 

Mat kissed her head. “All in due time, pretty girl.” “But anyways, about the job search.” Cass said, a smile playing on her lips. “I was going to wait until graduation to surprise you, but since you asked…” She paused for dramatic effect. “Chris offered me a job. Permanently.” 

Mat stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Chris? Like Islanders Chris? Lawyer Chris?” 

She giggled. “Yes. Islanders lawyer Chris. You’re looking at the new Associate Counsel for the New York Islanders, Mat.” Mat damn near hollered in celebration, picking Cass up and spinning her around before pulling her into what was very possibly one of the best kisses of her life. Cass barely took notice of the tourists watching them from the side or her own public display of affection. It was New York City. They had seen weirder. 

It felt like a weight had been lifted off of Mat’s chest. He was being honest when he said that he wouldn’t have done anything to get Cass to stay, it just wasn’t his place. But he also would have been lying if he had said it would be anything but heartbreaking to see her leave. It was like he told Tito. Not even giving the future a chance to work itself out would be worse than a breakup. And with any luck, they’d never have one of those either. They rounded the last corner, steps down to the subway in sight, when Mat remembered what he had wanted to ask her but had been interrupted by her news. Her incredible, perfect news. “What would you think about spending some time in Canada this summer?”

Cass, seemingly oblivious, answered, “Oh? Like as a vacation?”

He shook his head. “No, like in Coquitlam with my family.”

“You want me to spend the summer with you and your family?” Cass asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah, only if you want to, of course. And I’m not sure when the job with the team starts, or…” He looked down.

Cass smiled. “I’d love to, but are you sure it isn’t too much? I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding on family time, I know you don’t get a lot of time with them since you’re here most of the year. I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to bring me around just because we’re together.”

They stopped by a lamp. Cass leaned up against the post. “Cass. My parents have made it very clear to me that you’re family, and that they’ll have my head if I’m ever dumb enough to let you go.” She snickered. “Just so we’re clear, I don’t intend on ever letting that happen. My family loves you, my sister thinks you’re way cooler than me.” 

“She’s got good taste,” Cass said, tilting her head.  

Mat laughed. “She does. She told me you guys were texting the other day about the guy she’s interested in, giving her advice. Sure, it was my idea to invite you, but they were so on board from the moment I mentioned it. Plus, my friends back home are getting annoyed with me because they haven’t met you yet with how often I talk about you.” 

She bit her lip. “How long were you thinking of staying?”

Mat shrugged. “Leave in a couple weeks, I usually stay two months or so, so until sometime in August?”

“I’d have to fly back to take the bar in July, and I’d still need some time to study while we’re over, but my contract doesn’t start until the end of August, so…”

“You’ll come?” Mat smiled hopefully.

She nodded. “I’ll come. I’ve never been to Canada before, did you know that?”

He shook his head, leaning in and brushing a kiss on her hairline. “You’re going to love it.”

[clairecrive]

"Insecurities" - Eames x reader (Part 2) [Requested]

I'm sorry for the long wait. I made it super long to make up for it. Anon and @kingarthurscat I hope this is what you had in mind when you made the request or that at least you like it. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

requests are always open!

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog (let me know if you wanna be added)

A/n: Prompts are in bold.

The very reason you had been picked to be a part of the group was your ability to became whoever they needed you to be. It wasn't quite like Eames who could really become that person, it was more like an interpretation of a character. Like an actor would do, only you wouldn't be performing in a movie or a theatre. Usually very shy and stubborn you weren't so keen on putting yourself out there the way they had asked you to. But the need for money and your acting skills collected through the high school years as a way of getting more credits did the trick and with a little convincing on Dom's part, you were one of them.

Tonight was no different, you left your shy and awkward self in your hotel room, ready to be Sandy, a confident outspoken entrepreneur, for the rest of the night. The job was very easy to be honest, even though you usually hated when they used you just for your "womanly weapons" as Dom called them. However, being the only woman on the team, your input was required and there wasn't much you could do.

The plan was very simple: distract the wealthy, sneaky Arabian entrepreneur while Eames took whatever information he needed and then make your exit quickly and smoothly when Eames would give you the signal that it all went according to plan.

Flirting with wealthy men was quite the same every time. If you asked them about their job or a thing they have that makes them proud you could have them talking for hours on end. You would just have to throw a smile or a small laugh at the right time and that would be it. Easy job right? The fact that sometimes the men would be smoking hot it's just a bonus. They were boring but at least they were pretty to look at.

Much to your delight, this night, Azir was not only very handsome but he had a few interesting ideas too. Maybe you had been enjoying yourself too much, really engaged in a conversation with him, that you didn't notice Eames trying to catch your attention at first.

Over the years, you had come up with a complex sign language that would allow you to communicate in tricky situations without making a sound. Just a movement of an eye or a finger and the message or warning had come across. So when you noticed the English lad walking towards you while scrunching his nose, you knew that he needed a diversion.

"What is happening here?" He approached you and Azir that was quite startled by Eames' appearance. Thinking he was going for an angry/jealous boyfriend you played along.

"What are you doing here?" You asked feigning a shocked expression.

"I told you that I had a business meeting tonight, but you failed to mention that you'd also be here flirting with a stranger." He explained getting worked up.

"First of all, this is not a stranger, his name is Azir. Second, I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd have cared."

"In what twisted universe I would not care about my fucking fiancée flirting with a man that's not me?!"

"Wait, what? What are you talking about mate? She doesn't have a ring." Azir chimes in, apparently disturbed by the idea of being accused to flirt with an engaged woman. Nice to see you have morals Azir, not just a pretty face uh.

"Where is your ring Y/N?" Eames inquired staring intently at your naked ring finger

"Funny you should ask, still keeping up with this game I see. It's not endearing anymore, cut it."

"What the hell are you on about?" He looked at you as if you had suddenly grown three heads, glancing towards Azir for support.

"I was so thrilled that after eight years you had finally found the guts to propose to me, that I couldn't wait to share the news with everyone I have ever shared a word with. Also to let them see the beautiful ring you gave me. Imagine my surprise when Karen comes up to me and say: "Do you know that the diamond in your engagement ring is fake?" Of course, I didn't believe her, she had always been jealous of me. But she insisted so to prove her wrong, I stepped on it. Diamonds, real diamonds, are unbreakable. But the one you gave me fell apart like a bread crumble." For added emphasis you turned to Azir, "can you believe it? A fake engagement ring!"

The poor lad had been swapped in this mess and was so lost that if someone had asked him his name right now, he probably couldn't be able to answer right.

"So what if the diamond was fake? My intentions behind the gesture were not."

"Do you even still love me?" You asked scoffing at his words. Noticing three bulky men storming into the hall you were in, you gather your things and without glancing towards both men, you stormed off into a hallway on your right knowing that Eames was hot on your trail. You turn around to see if you were safe but before you could check his hand wraps around your arm and drags you into a dark room to your left. The door closed behind you leaving you standing in the dark catching your breaths.

"Were they still behind us?" You whisper just in case they were close. You couldn't see him in the dark but even if you felt him close to you, when he put his hand on your mouth to shush you it still caught you off guard. Well then, I'll take that as a yes. Even if you couldn't see his face, being this close to him that you could feel his breath on your cheek, made your mind wander and suddenly you were thankful for the dark otherwise your reddening cheeks would sorely stand out and Eames would tease you endlessly.

Turns out that you spoke too soon seeing as, while you were lost in your daydream, he must have drawn out his phone, because a light suddenly shone in the room. It was a janitor closet because at your feet there were cloths and buckets. It was indeed a small space as you've presumed, your chests were touching and if he wasn't taller than you, your noses or worse mouths would too. This realisation certainly didn't help your blushing situation.

"Is there a reason why you're blushing like that?" He asked and really, you knew it was coming.

"Can we get out, please? I think we're safe." You said trying to play it cool. The twinkle in his eyes made his amusement very clear to you, nevertheless he spared you and moved his hand to the door handle. Much to your dismay, it wouldn't budge, even when he tried with more force. Eventually, he had to stop and admit defeat. He turned to you and almost as if you had rehearsed it you exclaim at the same time:

"Well shit."

Groaning you lower yourself to the ground while he wrote something on the phone, probably asking for some help but you know that you'd be here for a while if you had to wait for one of the guys to rescue you. Sensing your discomfort he sat beside you and you knew that he was going to confront you about your weird behaviour. Being observant was part of his job, nothing went past him unnoticed, he was the best in his field for a reason after all.

"So, since we have a lot of time to spare, will you tell me what's wrong darling?" As you predicted he asked softly. Having worked alongside one another for quite some time together with his observant self, made Eames one of the person who knew you best. It wasn't something you were happy about but it was a fact.

"Oh that was Sandy, Eames. Don't need to worry about a fuss over a fake ring." You joked trying to deflect. Classic textbook move and he knew it.

"That was a good stunt out there, not going to lie, but you know I wasn't talking about that. You've been acting weird since we've come out of the room." He insisted. You knew Eames so you were conscious that if you told him to let it go he wouldn't press you but for some reason, you needed to know if he saw you. I mean even if he did, it wasn't a big deal right? No one was perfect and as you were painfully aware of his annoying habits now he knew that you hadn't a perfect body. You could live with that. Conforming to the standard norms of beauty wasn't something you had to do. Besides, nothing was ever going to happen between you. So even if you had a crush on the man and your constant bickering was more subtle flirting, why do you care so much about what he thinks of you? Yes, he probably has been with a lot of breathtaking women but that didn't mean anything. You couldn't compare yourself to other, imaginary in this case, women. It's not a healthy thing to do and besides everyone is beautiful in their own way. You knew that it's just that most of the times you have trouble applying that way of thinking to yourself.

Well then, here goes nothing. This pep talk is pointless if you don't address the elephant in the room. And so gathering all your courage, you did. But wait- how exactly am I going to go about this?

"So, you know that I'm usually very quiet and reserved right?"

"Yes, I know how important your private space is to you. I promised I've not touched anything." He said reminiscing that time when you literally went ballistic when you saw him entering into your room without your permission.

"I know you've learned your lesson don't worry, I wasn't referring to that."

"Then what's the matter?" 

"I'm not saying you did it on purpose but have you, by any chance, stumbled upon a very naked me early today in the bathroom?" I finally let out not meeting his eyes. I think it's a fair question to make, sure the answer won't change the fact that he saw me if he did but at least I'll stop wondering about it. However, Eames was known to be very unpredictable so you hoped that he wouldn't feel offended about it nor that he'd tease you for it. For a little while, he didn't say anything but you could feel his eyes on you. Knowing him he was probably studying you and thinking about what to say.

"Will you go mad hatter crazy on me if I tell you that I accidentally took a peak? I honestly thought that you were done and telling me that I could enter when you opened the door. However, I didn't do it maliciously or anything. It just happened, I'm sorry." He explained confirming your assumptions. So he did see you. Now what? However stupid it may sound, you believed him when he said that it was an accident. How different could my body from others anyway? Pretending to not be affected by his confession you just shrugged your shoulders muttering a quiet "it's okay". Needless to say, it was not okay. How were you going to look at him now that you knew he's seen you in your most vulnerable state? Ugh, why did you have to be so complexed? Couldn't you be just as easy going as Sandy? Life would surely be easier.

"If it's okay, then why won't you look at me, darling?" He insisted. Gosh, why won't he let this go?

"There's literally no light in here, how do you know if I'm not looking at you?"

"Because I know you and apparently this held a deeper meaning to you than you want me to know. You should know by now though, that I notice everything. Besides, how can we still work together if you refuse to look at me?"

"I can pretend to be a different person then so there's no problem." you mutter jokingly

"There's no need to pretend with me. We're room buddies!" He said making you laugh. He could be so silly sometimes.

"You can always be yourself with me you know. To be honest, you should never be afraid to be you but I know that that's a tough thing to do. However, I thought I was part of the gang now. That you trusted me and all."

"I do trust you, Eames. I wouldn't be working with you if I didn't. And yes you're part of the gang but neither of them has seen me naked you naked."

"And that changes things how?"

"You have seen me in my most vulnerable and truest form. No filter, no pretending no anything. I can't imagine I was a very pleasant view. I'm just ashamed, that's all."

"You shouldn't be. I didn't think you'd be so insecure about yourself, that only proves how good at your job you are, honestly, but if it makes you feel better, I really like what I saw." 

"Yeah sure. Don't need to flatter me to make me feel better. I'm not delusional."

"No, but it seems that you're blind. I thought that my scandalous and obvious flirting was a dead giveaway of me liking you."

"Oh shut up, you flirt with every living thing. It does not make me special." You sassed because it was true. You actually thought he was into Arthur before realizing that he was like that, flirting seemed to be the only way of communication he knew.

"You don't need my validation to consider yourself special. You are no matter what I or any other guy says. Although, you shouldn't really question me. You know I'm always right."

"Could your ego be bigger?"

"Hey, I'm trying to help you here. No need to insult my ego. But it's not the only big thing I have if you know what I mean."

"You know what? I really appreciate your wise words but I think it's best if we wait for whoever you called in silence. Your ego is already sucking up all the air in this cubicle." you said nudging his shoulder letting him know that you were joking. Who would have guessed that he could manage to make your doubts disappear just with a few silly words?

He seemed to have understood because he wrapped his arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder, getting comfortable beside him. The silence between you now wasn't uncomfortable but very welcomed, you knew he wouldn't be quiet for long so you enjoyed it while it lasted, your insecurities long forgotten.

[turnaboutimagines]

s/o and miles getting in a heated debate about what the best episode of steel samurai is except the argument ends up playing out like a courtroom debate. maya and pearl get brought in to "testify". phoenix wants to leave.

idk the gang goes to get some ramen and this happens!  I took some creative liberties for blocking purposes, but I tried to stay true to the request.  ^^  this is super silly and long and I had a lot of fun writing it out, but i hope that’s what you were looking for, pal.Setting for this one is between 3 and 4 during a hypothetical visit from Maya and Pearl. 

“That sure was tasty!”  Maya claps her hands in front of her, looking all too pleased with herself.  You give her a disbelieving look, as Edgeworth, Pearl, Phoenix, and you were all only halfway finished with your bowls.

You see a spark light up her eyes and you’re uncertain if it’s mischief or genuine interest.  “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now, but what’s your favorite Steel Samurai episode?”

“That’s… a really hard question,” you say with a small sigh, mulling it over for several moments as you set down your utensils.  “I suppose… it’d probably be the episode where the Pink Princess meets the Steel Samurai properly for the first time?  The fighting scene climax of it is especially iconic, plus it was just a really well made episode…”

“Ooh, that’s a good one!  The way they use their super special combo move for the first time together is super cool!  The Evil Magistrate totally didn’t see it coming!”

You’re about to ask which one is Maya’s favorite when you become aware of your significant other’s glare from across the table… and it’s directed at you.  Raising a brow, you turn to him and can practically see the veins popping out of Miles’s forehead as he restrains himself from getting involved in this conversation.  Clearly, you’ve said something he disagrees with, but he’s still so reserved about his Steel Samaniac status… unlike you and Maya.

“Do you have something you’d like to say, Miles?”

His eye twitches for a moment before he turns away with a scowl on his face.  “Ngh… no, of course not.  Why would I have anything to say about a simple children’s show?”

“Come on, Mr. Edgeworth!” Maya says with a Cheshire grin. “You did say that you were a big fan of his work and later got an autograph from him, too!”

His face flushes at the accusation and his pointer finger begins to tap away.  “I-I did no such thing…!”

You snort, knowing full well that he has it framed in his bedroom, and he gives you a rather stern glare, warning you to not breathe a word of it.  Still, you have his attention and perhaps you could still rope him into this because you are curious about whatever it was he’d gotten so worked up about…

“Well, I only asked because you looked like there was something you wanted to say and I was simply curious.  Still am, actually.”

“Hmph…  Well, I suppose there was something, actually…”

“Oh?”

“…The episode you cited involves the Pink Princess, which anyone would know is not from the original series, Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo.  And thus is an invalid answer to the question Ms. Fey posed.”  He shakes his head, giving you a smug little shrug.

“But the Pink Princess is the immediate, spiritual successor to the original Steel Samurai show!  It’s a part of the cinematic universe, so… I don’t see why it shouldn’t count?  Plus, I still think it’s a better episode than any of the ones in the original series…”

This is the first he’s heard of this opinion of yours and he frowns, gesturing at you with his pointer finger rather emphatically as he speaks, “Well, from what I’ve heard from critics of children’s media, the finale episode of Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo ended up being a masterpiece—in spite of all the issues with production leading up to its release.  Additionally, the critical final battle with the Evil Magistrate of the series was hailed as a phenomenal climax.”

“But the scene in which he gets to battle side-by-side with the Pink Princess for the first time holds so much more plot significance than another close call with the Evil Magistrate!  Even if that’s one of the most significant interactions between them, it’s still not comparable…!  They finally find each other and find a true sense of family and belonging!  It’s the major moment of that series for that reason!!!”

“Objection!”  Miles leans on his forearm across the table, grimacing as he launches into a rant, “It’s not just ‘another close call’…!  The moral conundrum the Steel Samurai is placed in that fight is essential to his character growth for his appearances in the Pink Princess series and it sets the stage for their interactions with the Evil Magistrate, as well.  It adds significantly more complexity and layers to the story than the episode you’re incorrectly suggesting is superior.”

“How could you say that!?” you ask, slamming a hand down on the table.  “The relationship between the Steel Samurai and the Pink Princess is the key to both of their character arcs!  The themes established in that episode are far more prevalent in later seasons, plus it marks the beginning of their better later arcs…  I get that you—erm, critics—prefer the original series because it came first, but the other series have a definite improvement in writing quality!”

As the two of you glare each other down, Phoenix continues to loudly slurp down his noodles—wishing that he hadn’t agreed to… whatever this group meal has become.  He’ll have to pick Trucy up from school pretty soon, so at least he has that excuse to leave and spirit the Feys away from your bizarre lovers’ quarrel.  Edgeworth’s covering the bill anyways

You finally break the stare down by turning to Maya right before Edgeworth was going to refute your counter argument.  “You started this with your question!  So, which one do you think is better?  We need you to testify to break the tie.”

She freezes, wide-eyed at your question before finishing slurping up her noodles and flashing you both another smile. ��Neither!”

“N-Neither?!”  Miles and you both shout in a unison of disbelief.

He recovers before you do, crossing his arms over his chest as he delivers an unintentional glare at her.  “Ms. Fey, what do you mean by ‘neither’?  In terms of emotional significance, those are the two episodes with the greatest impact…”

“Those two are both all right, I guess, but my favorite’s the episode where the Steel Samurai busts into the Evil Magistrate’s headquarters to save the Pink Princess after she’s been kidnapped,” she says, balling her hands into fists with a determined look on her face, absolutely unfazed.  “Only to find that she’s already busted herself out and is wiping the floor with his henchmen!  It’s the best fight scene and it shows how awesome the Pink Princess is!”  

“…And what about you, Pearl?” you ask, hoping that you’d have a tie breaker yet.  “Which do you think is the best episode?”

Pearl wilts under your’s and Edgeworth’s expectant gazes, she looks toward Maya for courage.  “O-Oh, um… I-I have to agree with Mystic Maya from what I’ve seen.  We’ve watched that episode a few times and it’s, um, very good.”

You and Miles simply stare at them both, absolutely dismayed that you’d both.

The young girl bites her thumb, sensing that she’s only worsened the situation and turns to Phoenix in the hopes that he’d save the day again.  “U-Um, but what about you, Mr. Wright?  What do you think?”

Maya waves a hand before Phoenix could so much as get a peep out.  “He’s still as much of an old fart as always, he’s only ever seen a few of the episodes and doesn’t even appreciate how cool it is”—she puffs out her cheeks as she continues—”but he’s been watching Sailor Moon with Trucy, which isn’t fair!  Steel Samurai’s a way cooler show!”

“…Well, it sounds to me like Maya won this argument, two-to-one, and earned some more noodles to boot,” Phoenix says with a small chuckle before standing up and ignoring Maya’s comments, glad for an excuse to finally leave.  “But speaking of Trucy… I believe it’s time that we get going.  I need to pick her up on our way back to the agency.”

Wait, noodles?  You look down and realize that she has, indeed, swiped both your noodles and your boyfriend’s while you’d been arguing.  While the two of you stare in shock at the place where your food had been only minutes ago, the three of them get up.  Maya and Pearl wave at you and say their goodbyes, but neither of you really process it in your confused surprise.

Phoenix lingers for a few more moments, flashing his old rival a lazy grin once he looks up at him.  “And here I thought you didn’t like the Steel Samurai, Edgeworth.

Miles’s face flushes red, finger beginning to tap away at the crook of his elbow as he averts his gaze once more.  “I…!  Nnnghrk… this was entrapment.”

“Ha ha…sure.  Well, I’ll see you guys around, then…  Thanks again for the food.”

He leaves the two of you alone and a few moments of before you both share a chuckle over the ridiculous events that had just unfolded.  When the laughter dies down, you reach a hand across the table as a peace offering.

“Truce?”

“…Truce… for the moment, at least,” he admits w, gently taking your hand in his own and giving it an absurdly formal shake.  It’s simultaneously very endearing, but frustrating because you know when he says ‘for the moment,’ he means it.

Not having any reason to linger since your meals had been polished off for you, you decide to head back to his place to spend the rest of his rare day off having a Steel Samurai marathon… and continuing your argument in private as you started by rewatching the two episodes in question, purely for evidence, of course!

[anotherisodope]

Master List of Fallout Canon and Canon AU Muses

Fallout 3

Charon

A gigantic, forbidding-looking, brainwashed badass of a ghoul whose protection, and combat services, are tied to the holder of his very high-ticket contract. Nobody knows who the organization was that Ahzrukhal purchased his contract from, how long he was in their service, or what horrors he was subjected to in the process of making him what he is. He isn’t talking, if he remembers at all. But despite the mental cage he is in, Charon constantly seeks ways to assert himself, follow his personal code, and prevent his own exploitation--or avenge it. A highly trained commando with a preference for mid-range weapons such as his combat shotgun, he lives for a good fight, and becomes bored and restless if his guns go cold too long. He’s got great instincts and is very protective--but is mentally and socially stunted, is observant enough to recognize that on some level, and is frustrated by it and his captivity, making him grumpy and sarcastic. He uses very formal language, sometimes with painstaking effort, in part as an attempt to be better understood. Will cause unmitigated chaos to save your life in a fight, then yell at you because you attacked an innocent shopkeeper. Probably not good to give him too many explosives.

Fallout New Vegas (or wherever)

Robert Edwin House (postgame AU)

One of the most brilliant men ever to be born into the prewar world, Robert House is the owner and primary programmer and inventor of RobCo Industries, which is responsible for everything from Fallout’s programming language, to most of its robots, to the PipBoy. Calculating the coming thermonuclear war down to a one-day window, House leveraged his tremendous wealth, influence and genius to save his beloved Las Vegas. This included preserving his body on life support while wiring his brain straight into the city’s network and defensive grid. Though not entirely successful, he survived and was able to eventually recreate and defend a walled-city version of the Las Vegas strip: New Vegas. 

The AU

In a twisted version of a Good Karma Courier House playthrough, House won but was convinced by the Courier to make more merciful and thoughtful decisions. However, the Courier then betrayed them at the eleventh hour and murdered House’s physical body, leaving everyone convinced that House had died. Details can be found here. However, House had used another contingency program stored aboard the Platinum Chip to enable him to upload his mind to his own network. The Courier ended up fleeing New Vegas. (I am currently working on a description of the fates of various factions in this AU).

After the events of Fallout New Vegas and his takeover of the Hoover Dam, this version of House used code hidden in the chip to make the following changes from current canon:

Recreate a nationwide wireless Internet using freshly activated networking capability in every single Robco product

Make this Internet publicly available through the persona of the benevolent hacker Snow

Escape onto this newly created Internet, gaining access to and potential control of all RobCo products

Use this to access various new bodies, eventually including a pair of comatose synth bodies from failed Railroad memory wipes

Since then, he has been hatching plans all over the former US to steal Institute and Brotherhood of Steel technology--and reclaim as much of his own as he can. While doing this, he is acting through multiple personas. These include two Gen 3 Synth bodies he stole from the Railroad’s comatose “failures”. 

House’s aliases (besides Snow) include 

Edwin “Ed” Case (Gen 3 synth body, former infiltrator), a brilliant repairman and roboticist operating in the Commonwealth who recently did a lot of repair and upgrade work at the Memory Den. Closest to House in voice and diction, but significantly less of an asshole. Always has at least two combat-capable robots with him. 

Daniel Mason (Gen 3 synth body, former courser), recently arrived in New Vegas. Not well known, as this body is largely used for physical infiltration and social engineering, or when House wishes to oversee robotic combat units more directly. Sounds nothing like House but still talks like he ate a thesaurus, though in a much more cool and reserved way. House being House, he has no idea why this body gets so much attention. Armed and dangerous. He is currently acting as House’s lieutenant and enforcer in New Vegas, along with his force of upgraded Securitrons.

He is still working on his Robert House synth body, which needs to be perfect of course...

Because of his activity in the Commonwealth and his ability to reach anywhere his network reaches, House can be interacted with by literally anyone in the Fallout universe circa 2287. Unless your character is in a memory pod or other full-interaction environment, however, you will be interacting via text, via robot, or via one of his two synth personas.

Vulpes Inculta (postgame AU)

One of the most wicked and bloodthirsty of Caesar’s commanders, this former head of the Legion’s Frumentarii was one of the most infamous men in the entire Mojave. Thoroughly and hopelessly indoctrinated in Caesar’s depraved and brutal values, he carried them out with terrifying zeal, sometimes resulting in the destruction of entire communities. Always cool, calculating, wily and in control, he never let anything get in the way of his duties--including his own needs, desires, and safety. His loyalty to Caesar was almost worshipful, and rooted in the belief that he served the actual Son of Mars.

To this end, he even plotted with the Omertas to release poison gas in the opening volley of an attack on the New Vegas strip. Forcibly stripped of any independent moral thought on the matter and thoroughly indoctrinated, he never thought twice about such actions. He served the son of a god, how could his actions not be righteous?

And then Caesar died. And Vulpes lost everything except for his life. And that was only the beginning of his comeuppance.

The AU

After brutally murdering Caesar upon learning that he had lied about his divine heritage and was afflicted with a mortal disease, Lanius took over, and promptly ordered Vulpes’s execution. Vulpes, who had anticipated this, fled, getting as far as he could from the Mojave. He knew that under Lanius’s hand, the Legion would first become a monstrous shadow of itself, and then would fall.

Illusions shattered and shamed by having to run, Vulpes spent years traveling with caravans in disguise as he sought a place to settle. Landing in the Commonwealth, he started carving out a place for himself, but his sense of purpose beyond survival and security was gone.

Worse...with it had gone his certainty that his depraved actions had been necessary and for a good cause, Doubt had crept in, and it kept growing and growing as he reconciled the differences between Caesar’s words and the reality he had lived through. Left to his own thoughts for far too long, and realizing that any remnant of the Legion that still exists will be hunting him, he is starting to crack.

He is very good at hiding this, however, being forced to learn to keep his cool in all kinds of bad situations. And so he has set himself up as a high-end, “independent problem-solver” in Diamond City, handling the kind of bloody and unethical work that would horrify Nick Valentine. But even as a showdown with his horrific karma is brewing internally, so too are external problems and temptations as he gets more and more deeply entangled with the Commonwealth’s Underworld.

Vulpes is a cold-blooded, scheming, psychopathic asshole with a volcano of repressed emotion that really only comes out when he fights. As he does not drink, date, use chems or confide in anyone, violence is and has been his only outlet, which leads to him often charging into dangerous situations with ripper in hand. When he is better under control, he deals with targets through stealth kills of various types. Unlike the vast majority of the Legion he is comfortable with most technology (science as a tagged skill), and has taken even more of an interest since fleeing East. For some reason, neither animals nor wasteland beasts will attack him when he travels alone.

His primary motivation while he wrestles with his many inner demons (which he will never let on about to anyone) is survival. He believes he will soon be the only one left who remembers what the Legion once was, and the higher aims it once strove for (through horrible means, but he doesn’t see that). While he is now hunted by the Legion’s remnants, he believes that he has a duty to survive, and maintain his discipline and his traditions before finding others to spread them among. The problem is, instead of going straight for taking over a settlement or raider gang, he’s dealing with growing doubts about Caesar, who was revealed to be mortal, and what Caesar taught him. This has made him hesitate. However, he is still using the time to gather as much information as possible about the Commonwealth, its people, its factions, and of course, their weaknesses.

Vulpes’ alias: Victor Renard

Victor Renard is a new Upper Stands resident who moved into the Latimer residence after both father and son were presumed killed by Triggermen outside the city. He has a part stake in the Colonial Taphouse, which has recently had a change of management, and is often found there, brooding over a glass of watered wine. He has a developing reputation for being very private, likely very dangerous, and being some kind of high-end mercenary. He generally wears a black suit and carries concealed weapons--at least, inside the city walls. He and the mayor/security team have a strained but polite relationship...so far.

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

A highly talented Chicago detective, on loan to Boston PD, whose original life came to a crashing end after crime kingpin Eddie Winter murdered his fiancee and disappeared. Traumatized by the loss, he was ordered to seek treatment at a facility that was run by what would become the Institute. They scanned and copied his mind and memories, and he then died in the nuclear bombardment that soon followed. When he woke up on a trash heap in a damaged robotic body around a century later, he was left with no context or explanation for his bizarre “reincarnation”. That mystery would haunt him, like the mystery of Eddie Winter’s escape from justice, for another century. After wandering the wastes for a time, and slowly acclimating himself to his new environment and interactions with modern humans, he settled in Diamond City as a handyman after returning the late mayor’s missing daughter. Eventually, he became a trusted member of the Diamond City community...and took back up the mantle of a detective. Nick stoically carries a lot of trauma, and a lot of outrage. He works to provide peaceful, rational alternatives to the constant violence around him, and tends to be smarter and more competent than most, especially when it comes to computers or investigation. He is a bit of a curmudgeon, with a dagger-sharp wit he’ll sometimes overuse when sufficiently angered. He smokes, though he gains no benefit from it, as a tie to his human past. He tends to feel divorced from his own body to some degree, and that plus his distrust of most roboticists has caused him to forgo repair thus far.

John Hancock

Mayor of Goodneighbor and a self-styled revolutionary hooligan who is usually high on something, Hancock has more layers than you might expect, and a tragic history. Born John McDonough, he grew up in a shack with his parents and brother on the Boston waterfront. His brother was something of a bully, but not particularly wicked. They started growing apart as they grew up, with John sneaking off to Goodneighbor regularly to party and do chems. Empathetic, and significantly smarter than most people, he was able to see the suffering and inequities all around him, even after his family moved up in the world and ended up in Diamond City. John realized that his brother had...changed...when he decided to run for mayor. Running on an anti-ghoul platform, he capped off his inaugural speech by announcing the banishment of all ghouls from the city. John watched in horror as the ghouls fled with their few belongings, being brutalized by citizens and police the whole time. After confronting his brother to no effect, he forced himself to act, successfully leading several families to temporary safety in Goodneighbor. Most did not survive, however, leaving him despondent and forever loathing his pogrom-promoting brother, who is still Diamond City’s mayor. That night changed something in him, and it wouldn’t go back to sleep no matter how many chems he took. Finally, on learning that Vic, the gangster running Goodneighbor, was letting his men gun down drifters, he had a bizarre, chem-fueled epiphany. He discovered John Hancock’s coat and hat in the depths of the State House, and suddenly realized what he needed to do. He took on the clothes and cause of John Hancock, and after brutally liberating the town from Vic’s people, gave an inaugural speech declaring Goodneighbor to be “of the people, for the people”, regardless of who those people were. He took on the persona of a daring, reckless, ferociously protective folk-hero Mayor and started the long process of turning Goodneighbor into a safe haven for all. But even that wasn’t enough for him. Less than a decade ago, he discovered an experimental serum intended to turn the user into a ghoul. Sick of the face in the mirror, and motivated by half a dozen different reasons, he completed his “remaking himself” by becoming the same sort of being that his evil brother so loathed. Now, having consolidated power, he has found himself in a rut, spending most of his time putting out fires and dealing with challengers to his position and to Goodneighbor’s safety. Constantly wrapping himself up in his role and work when not carousing, however, has left a lot of painful unfinished business in his life to fester.

[jaehyun-eclipsed]

Before I Met You | Three

Updates: Sundays and Thursdays, 8 PM EST

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas…) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Warnings: Some swearing

Before I Met You Masterlist

Prev | Next

Winter Ball seemed like a dream. In a matter of a few hours, my expectations for how life could occur were shattered. How often is it that you have a fantasy about a guy you like that actually comes true? Lucas inadvertently raised my bar for how my love life was going to go for the rest of my life. He proved to me that the things in the movies really can happen. And unfortunately, I don’t think that’s the best way to go about life because it presents too many opportunities to end up disappointed.

For several days, concentrating in class was difficult, to say the least. My mind was constantly replaying the events from the weekend, trying to decipher whether or not I had a real chance with the guy. My next hope was to go to prom with him. I hadn’t had a date the year before and I really wanted to have that experience for my senior year. But in the back of my mind, I was afraid that I would have to ask him myself. I suppose that wasn’t a horrible idea, but since I had never asked anyone out and, like everyone else, I feared rejection and was terrified to do it. So for the next few weeks, in addition to preparing for May exams and waiting for college acceptances, I tried to increase my interactions with Lucas. I frequently texted him new songs to listen to, spent time in the senior parking lot with him, and talked to him more in our volunteer club.  

Valentine’s Day was on Saturday and various clubs had been advertising their Valentine-gram fundraisers to send to friends, significant others, and crushes. You had the option of sending messages with candy or flowers. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to receive one from Lucas after the dance, but I made sure I didn’t get my hopes up on the Friday before when all of the Valentines were being delivered during my physics class. It was a good thing because I ended up not receiving anything anyway. However, to my surprise, Doyoung texted me with news of a different experience.  

Doyoung [1:25 PM] I think Heejin likes me

My forehead creases in confusion. What is he talking about? I already knew that.

Me [1:26 PM] What do you mean?

A minute later, I receive a picture of the inside of a Valentine’s Day card filled with bubbly writing.  

Doyoung,

So I thought the card was kinda cute, but also kinda creepy but anyway Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thanks for dancing with me at Winter Ball and not letting my clumsy-self fall to my death!

Enjoy (or try to) the rest of senior year! Hope we get to hang out soon, don’t be a stranger. Call me up sometime, like maybe this weekend if you have nothing going on.

♥, Heejin (xxx-xxx-xxxx)

I cover my mouth in an effort to keep myself from laughing out loud. My physics teacher was currently going over a PowerPoint with the lights off. Laughing would have been inappropriate.

I told you!

Me [1:30 PM] I told you she did!

Doyoung [1:30 PM] When?!

Me [1:31 PM] A couple weeks ago, in the car after winter ball because she danced with you!

Doyoung [1:32 PM] No you didn’t!

Me [1:33 PM] Yes, I did! I even told you again when we were sitting in biology the following Monday!

Doyoung [1:34 PM] I don’t remember that

I roll my eyes. No one listens to me. I pause, a realization hitting me. Wait a second… If Heejin pulled Doyoung to dance and she likes Doyoung… Lucas pulled me to dance – does that mean…? That must mean Lucas likes me too!

Right?

Does the transitive property work here?

“Which room are you in?” Doyoung asks me.

“A3, I think. You?”

“Damn, A1.”

This evening, we were required to give a presentation in front of our classmates about the various service and volunteer hours we had been completing over the past two years. I was hoping that I would end up in the same room as Lucas, but students were assigned randomly and Lucas was in the same room as Doyoung.  

“Hey!”

I turn around to see Lucas running up to me.  

“Oh hey, Lucas.”

“What room are you in?” he asks.

“A3. You?”

“A1.”

“Where did you park?” I ask.

“On this side,” he says, pointing towards the back of the building.  

Idiot. Why did I park in the other lot on the opposite side?

“Oh, I parked on the other side.”

“Why did you park over there?” he asks, confusion marking his tone.

“I don’t know…”

I figured you were going to park where you usually park, but I forgot that you’re lazy. So that’s way too far to walk, obviously.

“Hey so, I listened to that song you sent me,” he says, walking along a row of lockers with me towards the other end of the building. “It was good.”

“Oh yeah? Good.” I smile. “Are you going to the reception afterwards?”

“Probably for a little bit. Where is it?”

“Library.”  

“All right, well I’ll see you later,” he says as we arrive at the other side of the building and part ways to our respective rooms.

“See ya.”

The next hour is torture as we sit in a classroom with ten other students and some of their parents, each droning on about their favorite and least favorite volunteer experiences. The interaction prior clouds my thoughts. It was nothing, but he wanted to talk to me. I mentally scold myself as my mind starts on its irrational train of thought, reading into everything that could possibly be another sign. The excitement from my thoughts appears to express itself during my presentation with too many smiles and an extraversion that was normally restricted to my inner circle.  

“I think I sounded more excited than usual, huh?” I whisper to Seungwan after finishing my presentation.

“Yes, you did.”

At least I’m self-aware.

When our presentation session ends, I walk to A1 to see if they had finished. The door is open and it is still filled with students. Seungwan waits with me briefly.

“I’m going to wait for Doyoung,” I lie. “You can go to the reception first; I’ll meet you.”

She walks off as I continue to pace in front of the room.  

Honestly, what are you doing? You are so desperate.

After a few minutes, I look up when I hear shuffling from the room and see Doyoung and another classmate walk out, engrossed in conversation such that he doesn’t he even see me. They quickly exit the building when Lucas walks out and pauses at the entrance when he locks eyes with me.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Hey.”

“You wanna go to the reception?” I ask.

I look over Lucas’s shoulder when Siwoo walks out of A1 and smirks at me. I ignore him and return my gaze to Lucas.

“Uh sure,” he hesitates. “Yeah, I’ll go for a little bit. Let’s go.”

I repress a grin and lead the way out of the building. We exchange brief small talk, but mostly walk to the library in silence. I pull out my phone to see a text from Siwoo.

Siwoo [6:02 PM] Get your prom date now!

I roll my eyes and quickly put my phone back in my pocket.

We enter the library and Lucas quickly walks over to Sicheng, Yang Yang, Seulgi, and several others.  

Well that was short lived.

I make my way over to the refreshments table and fill a cup with some juice and grab a cookie before joining Seungwan at a table with her parents. We chat about school and the presentation, giving an opportunity for Seungwan’s parents to scold her for not having officially submitted any of her volunteer hours.

I glance over at Lucas who is busy with the boys, Seulgi, and Sooyoung. Siwoo walks over to me and asks to discuss a history project. It doesn’t take long for the topic to switch over to Lucas.

“So do you have a prom date?” he asks with a grin.

I glare at him. “Of course not. We didn’t even really talk on our way here.”

“I’m pretty sure he likes you. He used to talk about you a lot in class last year.”

“Yeah, well, that was last year,” I say. “How are you and Mina?”

“Eh, we’re okay. You wanna go chat outside? I need to tell you something.”

I raise an eyebrow, wondering what could be so private that we need to discuss it away from everyone else. I shrug and follow him, stopping just outside the side entrance of the library when he turns to look at me, a concerned expression looming over his face.

“It’s been super awkward with Ara around. I think she’s jealous and it’s been putting a strain on Mina and me.”

Well no shit.

I let him talk, occasionally interjecting with a comment about Ara’s reactions to be expected in this situation. Let’s face it, if I were Ara and my ex started dating my best friend, I wouldn’t be too happy either. Siwoo is an interesting character – he is very loyal to me, but in my personal (and crass) opinion, his moral compass is fucked. How someone could be so careless the way he is, is beyond me, but I digress.

“Anyway, I think Seulgi is jealous of you…”

I grimace. “What does that have to do with Mina and Ara?”

“Nothing – well, not exactly nothing.”

“Now why would you say that?” I ask, incredulously. “She probably thinks she’s prettier than me and she has all of these guys fawning over her for validation of that.”

“But it’s not like you’re not pretty…” he says. “Plus you’re smarter than her. And, I mean, Ara and Mina are jealous of you.”

I think for a moment. I can understand why Ara was jealous – she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend even though I wasn’t doing that at all and Siwoo was the one who couldn’t keep his feelings to himself. Given that Mina and Ara used to be best friends, Mina is probably aware of that situation and has the same reservations about Siwoo. But these are different issues compared to what we’re talking about.

My face sours. “What? But they’re not like Seulgi… they don’t run in the popular crowd and they don’t… have guys chasing after them left and right.”

“So?!” he exclaims. “You know that Yunji hates you, right?”

Yunji is another one our classmates. I didn’t speak to her much. We had several classes together and I sat next to her in Korean class. She seemed fine, though she was often overdramatic in her relationships.

“I’ll never love again!” she claimed one day, shortly after her boyfriend broke up with her during our second year.

I frown. “What did I do to her?”

“Nothing, I don’t think…” He pauses for a moment before shaking his head, deciding whatever he was thinking is no longer relevant. “She’s very fake. She saw me talking to you one time and after you left, she came up to me and said, ‘You know, I really hate Y/N.’ I asked her why and she said, ‘Because she’s too pretty.’”

I burst into laughter. “Are you serious?!”

“Yeah! I wouldn’t lie to you about that!”

“That’s why she hates me?” I ask in between laughter. “What a stupid reason to hate someone. What did you say?”

“I just said something to try to defend you, but we switched the subject.”

I’ll admit, I was flattered after that confession, but also disappointed. If you’re going to hate me, at least hate me for a legitimate reason.

“So anyway, that’s why I think Seulgi is jealous of you. Yeah, she’s pretty, but you’re pretty and smart; she probably thinks you’re better than she is. So she probably thinks you’re trying to steal Lucas.”

Just like how Ara – and now, probably Mina – think I’m trying to steal you.

How foolish of them.

On the other hand, Seulgi wouldn’t be wrong…

“You know,” he begins, “when Ara and I were dating, she said something weird because she hated you too.” 

I scoff. “Humor me.”

“We were waiting for the bus one day and she was watching you and she said, ‘I bet Y/N is really bad in bed because she’s so callous. Like she just lays there with no expression.’“ 

I start laughing again. “What kind of insults are these?! Weren’t we like fifteen?”

“Yeah.”

“All right.” I bite my lip, fighting a smile of amusement. “Whatever makes them feel better, I guess.” 

A cold breeze makes me shiver. “It’s cold. We should go back inside,” I say.

I turn my head and look through the open door at Lucas and the rest of the boys who are all sitting in chairs next to the entrance. As Siwoo and I walk through the doorway, all of the boys simultaneously turn their heads and stare at me. I momentarily freeze before regaining composure and head directly to a table on the opposite side of the library.  

“Did you see that?” I ask as Siwoo follows slightly behind.

“Yeah, they all looked at you.”

“Okay, just checking.”

The following week, my biology teacher announces a group project; we had to teach the class a chapter in the book. He begins assigning group members by numbering off the class from one to four. Doyoung and I groan in annoyance. Sitting next to each other meant that we would not be placed in a group together and were subjected to luck. I am placed in group three and Doyoung in group four. We turn around in our seats to see the rest of the numbering.  

“Two, three, four…”  

Lucas is assigned to group two.

“Wait, who’s two?” asks Lucas.

“Two,” Mr. Cho says as he points to the boy sitting next to Lucas. “Lucas, you’re three.”

I maintain an outward look of nonchalance. Now what are the odds of that? Internally, I’m surprised at the turn of events, wondering how this arrangement occurred so easily.

Lucas suddenly looks at me. “Y/N, what number are you?”

His face lights up when I hold up three fingers. “Hey we’re in the same group!”

I want to be excited since I now have an excuse to talk to him more, but I can’t help but remember my academic opinion of him: he selectively uses his brain, assuming he uses it at all. He’s not reliable when it comes to school work as he has a tendency to be overconfident in his abilities.  

“Okay, everyone, get into your groups to discuss what you’re going to do.”

Lucas, Seohyun, Kibum, and Sooyoung maneuver over to my side of the room, filling the recently vacated seats. Lucas jumps up to sit on a lab bench next to my desk.

“All right, group, what we need is bitches!” Lucas says jokingly.

He and Kibum chuckle at each other. My forehead creases, unimpressed by his immature joke. I force a small smile in an effort to go along with it, but when I was truly unimpressed, it was hard to mask that emotion. Fortunately, he pays no attention to me, exchanging several more jokes with Kibum.

“So what section does everyone want to do?” I ask, interrupting their conversation.

We were assigned a chapter on the kidney and were instructed to make a PowerPoint presentation.  

“I’ll do the intro,” Lucas chimes.

Of course – the easiest part.

Doyoung and I decide to watch How to Train Your Dragon during math class. My attention is pulled away when a girl walks up to Mr. Lee and hands him a stack of square, gold envelopes.

Prom invitations.

I stare at the envelope as it is placed in front of me, my name written in red capital letters next to a character from The Legend of Zelda on a label stuck to the front. I glance over at Hyojin who is engaged in a conversation with Sooyoung; a previous conversation flashes in my mind.

“Do you know if Doyoung is going with anyone?” Hyojin asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I really want to go with him…” she quietly admitted.

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“No way! Do you think you could ask him to see if he would even be interested?”

“Sure.”

I bite my lip. It’s almost comical at how often I seem to be running into this problem. Of course, I already know that Doyoung isn’t interested in going with Hyojin; but again, I have to play along. To put up the front, I knew he was more likely to go with Taeyeon since they were friends and she knows his secret. But I told Hyojin I’d ask, so I will keep my promise.

“Are you going to ask anyone to go?” I ask Doyoung.

“Probably.”

“Who do you think you’re going to ask?”

“I don’t know – probably Taeyeon.”

“How about Hyojin?” I ask innocently.

He presses his lips together, his facial expression clearly displaying a lack of appeal. “I don’t want to go with Hyojin.”

As expected.

“Yeah, I don’t know who else you could ask. Seungwan?” I suggest, giving additional alternatives to keep things casual.

“Nah.”

Well, I tried. Why do all of these girls like him and come to me asking for help trusting that I’m not going to tell him?

I shake my head in frustration and sigh.

Now the question is: how am I going to get my desired prom date? Speaking of which –  

My mind drifts back to the biology presentation. I pull out my phone to send a text.

Me to Kibum, Sooyoung, Lucas [10:15 AM] Do you guys think we should meet up this weekend?

Sooyoung [10:16 AM] Yeah that sounds like a good idea!

Kibum [10:16 AM] Do we really need to?

Me [10:18 AM] It might be a good idea for doing all of the organization. How about Saturday?  2pm?

Lucas [10:19 AM] Yea! I can do Saturday

Kibum [10:19 AM] Saturday is fine

Sooyoung [10:20 AM] I can do Saturday too

We didn’t really need to be meeting up in person to do a PowerPoint presentation. Quite frankly, I was just trying to create a better opportunity to get Lucas alone. Now that prom invitations had been handed out, I was hoping that he would ask me. But there was a thought lingering in the back of my mind that I might have to ask him myself if I wanted to have him as my date.  

I walk through the parking lot to my car during my free period at the end of the day to go home. Lucas’s car is parked in the space in front of me to the left; he’s already sitting at the driver’s seat. From my periphery, I can tell that he’s watching me as I open the back door of my car to throw my backpack in and change into a lighter jacket. I check my phone and respond to a text from my dad asking if I can stop by the grocery store before going home. Glancing over my left shoulder, I meet Lucas’s intense gaze as he continues to watch me, becoming increasingly self-conscious of my actions.  

Why is he just sitting there watching me like that? Y/N, it’s fine. He’s probably just thinking about where he wants to go.

But maybe, you can go up and talk to him about prom…

I close the door and turn my head to the right when I hear a car driving by; Lucas’s Honda Accord speeds through the parking lot.  

Dammit, he left. That was a bit odd though.

I sit with my dad in his office and start working on the biology presentation.  

“Do you think I’m going to have to ask Lucas to prom myself?” I ask.

“Probably.”

Crap.

“You could do it on Saturday,” he suggests. “Sort of wait for everyone else to leave and then ask him.”

“I feel like that’s not going to work; he’ll leave at the same time Kibum leaves.”

Maybe I can suggest we get frozen yogurt and then tell Lucas to go with me to the garage when we leave. Then I’ll ask him there.

Yeah, that’s stupid.

Saturday morning, I send a text to everyone to make sure they were coming.

Me to Kibum, Sooyoung, Lucas [11:28 AM] Everyone still good for 2pm today?

Kibum [11:30 AM] Yeah I’ll be there

Sooyoung [11:31 AM] Same

Seohyun was unavailable and had already finished her part of the project. Unlike the rest of the group, I trusted her with group projects.

Kibum and Sooyoung had confirmed they were going to come, but Lucas was taking an awfully long time to respond. It reminded me of my birthday dinner that Hana tried to plan a few months ago. She had asked him if he wanted to attend in person and he agreed, but when she tried to text him to see if he would be going, he said he had to babysit.  

Lucas [12:30 AM] I have to babysit

I stare at the text and sigh.

Of course you do. I like how you don’t explicitly say you can’t come. You just say you have to babysit. How convenient. I guess I don’t have to ask you to prom today either.

Kibum and Sooyoung arrive a short while later. After working for a couple hours, I suggest that we get frozen yogurt. Kibum declines; Sooyoung says she’ll meet me at the yogurt shop.  

As I’m driving, I think about how Lucas and Sooyoung run in the same circle.

Maybe I can somehow ask her about who Lucas is thinking about asking to prom.

Unfortunately, Sooyoung is known for running her mouth so if I were to bring up anything, I had to be ensure that I brought it up casually. Otherwise, everyone would find out and that was the last thing I really needed.

“I’m annoyed that Lucas decided he didn’t want to show up last minute like that,” I say as I eat another spoonful of my strawberry frozen yogurt.

“He tends to do that. It’s really annoying. He usually uses the excuse that he’s babysitting.”

“Does he even have anyone to babysit?”

She shrugs. “He does have two younger half-brothers, but I don’t think they’re that young.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m gonna kill him. I know Mr. Cho doesn’t really care, but we’re still being graded on this. I’m not letting him screw up my grade.”

“I know! I don’t know how Seulgi puts up with him.”

I suddenly recall that Sooyoung has a strong dislike towards Seulgi. This would be a good time to ask about both Lucas and Seulgi since she was “friends” with both of them – on the surface, at least.

“Does Seulgi still like Lucas?” I ask.

“I honestly don’t know. If I had to guess, she probably does,” she says, annoyance in her tone. “She acts like she hates boys, but she actually loves all of the attention she gets.”

“Mm, yeah, I’ve noticed.” I click my tongue and maintain an expression of indifference. “Does Lucas still like her?”

“Probably,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Is he asking her to prom?”

“No, he already has a date.”

I freeze. What?

“Really? Who?” I ask, trying not to act surprised.

“His friend, Yuna – she doesn’t even go to our school.”

I believe in fate to a certain extent. I believe that some things happen for a reason. Perhaps that’s my optimism speaking for me because if I choose to believe that, then I can choose to believe that I’m supposed to reap some kind of lesson from the things that happen to me – that it’s not just some negative occurrence to set me back. Or maybe it’s to protect me from even more severe negative consequences. I don’t know, but I will say that it has allowed for me to retain my sanity.

I wonder if that was a coincidence that he didn’t come… It prevented me from asking him so I didn’t even have to make the risk of getting rejected because I absolutely would have been rejected.

“How does he know her?”

“I think they’re both into anime or something.” She shrugs. “They go to those anime conventions together.”

“Why on earth would he ask her?”

“I have no idea. I thought he was going to ask Seulgi.”

I hesitate for a moment, thinking back to Winter Ball and deciding I’ll make the risk with Sooyoung.

Maybe I can pass this off as a mere curiosity or confusion.

“So there’s something that I’ve been wondering about…” I begin. “At Winter Ball, Lucas came up to me and grabbed me to slow dance with him.”

“He did?!” She looks at me, wide-eyed and in disbelief. “That’s so weird! Why would he do that?!”

I shrug. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m wondering what in the world is going on with him because I always thought he liked Seulgi. Then he danced with me and now he’s going with whoever this Yuna girl is. Why would he do that?”

I notice Sooyoung’s forehead crease briefly. My heart jumps, realizing that she may have suspected that my curiosity in Lucas is more than just a passing interest.

“Hmm, yeah, I don’t know. His thing with Seulgi is really weird.” Her face becomes bitter. “I hate the way she treats him – it’s like he’s her slave.”

I return home, displeased with my newly learned information.  

“Lucas has a prom date already,” I say to my dad. “Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out today.”

“Maybe…” He tilts his head and shrugs. “Who knows, maybe it would have been worse if you had gone with him. This prevented that from happening.”

“I couldn’t ask him since he didn’t show up, which is good because I would’ve been rejected anyway.”

“Who’s he going with?”

“Some girl named Yuna. She doesn’t even go to our school.”

“How does he know her?”

“Sooyoung said they go to anime conventions together.”

“Do you know who Seulgi is going with?”

“I don’t think she has a date yet…”

“Huh,” he remarks. “I wonder why he wouldn’t ask her then.”  

I had no idea why Lucas didn’t ask Seulgi, but I was also wondering why he went out of his way to ask someone else who didn’t even attend our high school. To me, that’s the easiest way to avoid any kind of potential drama or judgement from anyone. If no one knows Yuna, no one can have any opinion. If he went with Seulgi, people probably wouldn’t be surprised. But on the other hand, if he went with me, that would surely become the subject of some major gossip. We didn’t run in the same circles and I surely wasn’t “popular.” I was just “the smart girl” that rejected “the smart guy” last year and I guess that makes me a bitch. 

Regardless, all I knew was that I wasn’t going to have a prom date, which was fine; I didn’t want to go with anyone else anyway. I also wouldn’t have to work up the courage to ask the boy myself anymore. It was a bit of a disappointment, but it saved me the anxiety.  

I continue working on the presentation and doing other homework until late into the night. Half past midnight, my phone screen lights up.

Lucas [12:30 AM] I’ll do my part tomorrow I was busy today

I roll my eyes.

I’m gonna kill him.

“So did you ask him?” Hana whispers to me during our physics class.

“He didn’t even show up. He said he was babysitting and would do his part of the project yesterday.”

“Babysitting?” She uses her hands to form air quotes. “Or babysitting?”

“My guess would be the latter.”

She frowns. “Did he at least do his part of the project?”

A look of displeasure washes over my face. “What do you think?”

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Oh, Lucas…”

“We’re supposed to meet in the library today during seventh period to finish it before I have to go to Academic Olympics.”

“Hopefully he finishes the presentation.”

“Honestly, Hana, that’s all I want.”  

I pull out my phone and see that I have a text. Upon checking the single message, my jaw tightens and it takes me a bit of self-control not to throw my phone across the room.

Lucas [1:45 PM] Y/NN I have to go home to meet my mom. Can you text me pics of my topics?

“I’m actually going to kill him,” I say, pushing my phone onto Hana’s desk.

She deadpans. “Are you serious?” She looks at the message again. “What the – he even spelled your name wrong.”

“I’m gonna kill him! He doesn’t even know his topics?” I growl through my teeth as I pick up my phone to type in a quick response.

Me [1:46 PM] *Y/N

Lucas [1:47 PM] Auto correct

A picture follows his response; it’s a screenshot of our message thread, showing me that my name is spelled correctly in his contacts. I scoff and put my phone in my pocket right as the bell rings.  

“I’ll see you at A.O. later,” I say to Hana while tossing my backpack over my shoulder and making my way towards the parking lot to my car.  

I am parked next to Lucas and realize I would likely see him as he “went home to meet his mom.” Opening the trunk of my car to put my backpack in, I hear footsteps coming in my direction.

“Hey! Did you get my picture?”

I roll my eyes before glancing at him. The audacity…

“Yes.”

“It was autocorrect.”

“I know, I got it,” I say curtly.  

I pull out my biology notes to find the list of topics for the presentation. I make a point to slam down my belongings, ensuring that he would be aware of my annoyance.

“You said you needed pictures?” I ask.

“Oh! Yeah!”

I roll my eyes again. I wasn’t thrilled that the project was due in two days and the idiot didn’t even know what he was supposed to be presenting. He should’ve had the list already, but knowing him, he probably misplaced it. I just want him to do his part because I don’t want to do it myself. I’m not here to give him an A.

I point to the list. “It’s these four.”

He pulls out his phone to take several pictures.

“Oh okay. Thanks. But yeah, it was autocorrect.”

Jesus. If you keep saying that, I’m going to punch you.

“I know, I’m just giving you a hard time,” I reply, monotony filling my tone.

I suddenly feel an arm wrap around me and I’m sure that if it were possible, my irises would be replaced with flames.

Are you fucking serious, Lucas? You’re giving me a hug?

“Thanks for the pictures. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Are you trying to kiss up to me?

“Okay,” I grumble.  

“QUIET! You’re just reading off the slides! This isn’t why I assigned the presentation! You guys need to actually learn this stuff because when the test comes in May, you’re not going to know anything! Do you know how many people in this class I’m not worried about!? Three – four of you, maybe!”

Doyoung and I exchange an annoyed glance at each other and sigh. The first group had presented and Mr. Cho was scolding the entire class on the single group’s unsatisfactory performance. Once he was finished, Lucas walks up to Kibum and me.

“Guys, I’m so glad I slacked because now we have to redo the whole presentation.”

What the fuck? No, we don’t.

I am seething. “Uh, no, we don’t. Just don’t read everything you write,” I spit back.

Lucas looks at me, his face expressionless. I feel myself returning a stern look, attempting to temper the fire behind my eyes.  

“I’ll meet you in the library today, Y/N.” Lucas says.

“Okay.”

“Is Lucas meeting you in the library?” Hana asks.

“He better be.”

I pull out my phone to send Lucas a text.

Me [1:30 PM] Are we meeting in the library after 6th?

Lucas [1:30 PM] We can

We can? What do you mean ‘we can’?

Me [1:31 PM] Okay, well, we are

Lucas [1:32 PM] Ok cya then! :3

“What the hell is this?” I growl, showing Hana the text.

She laughs. “He’s just trying to be cute.”

I couldn’t believe myself. Prior to Lucas sitting next to me in biology last year, he was never my favorite person. I always thought he was attractive, but largely thought he was a lazy and arrogant idiot. I changed my mind later on when we would work together, but I was starting to feel that my first impression had been, in fact, correct. Lucas was all talk. No action. No commitment. Yet, I was silly enough to fall for his good looks.  

I walk to the library after class and sit down at one of the computers. I sigh as I pull up the presentation; the only empty slides are Lucas’s. He only had to do the introduction – it should have been easy to complete in a short amount of time.

Glancing at the clock, it was ten minutes past the time class ended. Lucas’s last class was the same distance away from the library as mine was; he should have been here by now.

It’s fine. Calm down. Worst case, you do it yourself.

Suddenly, chatter between two boys can be heard from the main part of the library. I turn my head as Lucas and Yang Yang walk into the computer area.

“Hey, what’s up?” Lucas greets, resting his hand on the back of my chair.

“Hey, so here’s the presentation. You’ve got the first few slides.”

He turns around to reach for a chair at one of the nearby tables.

“You know, why don’t you sit here?” I interject, getting up from the chair in front of the computer.

He remains silent as he sits down. I decide to stand directly behind him, crossing my arms like a supervisor overseeing a terminated employee gather their personal belongings before leaving. I watch him as he slowly uses the biology textbook to copy down information to the slides and add accompanying photos from the internet.

So you were just going to copy and paste from the textbook and you thought we had to redo the whole presentation? And it takes you this long to get it done? Pathetic.

He asks me for my opinion on the miscellaneous photos he uses to supplement the text on his slides – making a point to emphasize how the GIFs he chose were of superior quality.

After forty-five minutes, he finishes his section.

“I think I’m done! It looks good, right?”

I click my tongue. “Yep.”

He stands up, overly pleased with his work and slings his backpack over his shoulder.

“All right, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

I remain displeased, my tone monotonous. “See ya.”

I sit down in the previously vacated chair and save the presentation, quickly closing out and packing up my things to go home. I am indignant as I make the realization that I practically had to babysit him to get him to do his work. It wasn’t even like he really did any work considering he just copied and pasted from the textbook.

Great, he knows shit about the topic that we have to present on tomorrow. Fantastic.

And since he knew nothing, he was likely going to do exactly what Mr. Cho said not to do – i.e. read directly off the slides – because this is how he does everything else in school.

“Oh I barely studied for this test, but I’m really good at this subject,” Lucas would say right before we began an exam.

When the exam was returned, you could hear from the back of the classroom, “Shit! I got a C!”

I roll my eyes and push those thoughts away. Being angry sapped away my energy and quite frankly, I wanted to conserve it for something worthy.

I walk to the parking lot and see a shadow in my periphery as I near my car.

“Hey! Long time no see!” Lucas calls.

Please just shut up.

I don’t respond and keep my focus straight ahead. He jogs over to me and begins to match the pace of my gait as we walk to our respective cars.

“Are you going home?” he asks.

“Yeah, but I’m going to wait for the traffic to clear out before leaving.”

“Oh, me too.”

We reach our respective cars and put our backpacks in the backseat. He proceeds to sit in the driver’s seat of his car and starts browsing something on his phone, leaving the door open with one leg resting outside the car. It was another facet of his personality – he did always try to act like he was cool.

“Hey, you like scarves, right?” he calls from his car.

I furrow my brows. What a strange question. He keeps his gaze on his phone, continuing to scroll through Instagram when I appear next to him.

“Yeah, why?”

He shrugs and tilts his phone towards me, a picture of a young woman wearing a Burberry cashmere scarf on the screen. “Was just thinking about how you wear them a lot.”

But why?

I attempt to keep my expression neutral. “Oh, well, that one looks nice,” I say. “I have an imitation Burberry scarf.”

He continues to stare at the photo. “Yeah, I remember. It’s nice.”

I blink several times, shifting my gaze around the parking lot in confusion.

“I really like scarves too,” he says.

Uh okay, that’s cool…?

“I think you’d look nice in this one,” he says, tilting his phone towards me again.

The day of our presentation, Lucas is late to class again. Normally, I wouldn’t be concerned because Lucas could just present when it’s his turn, whether he’s late or not, but since he’s supposed to do the introduction, we have a little bit of a problem.

“Do you know if Lucas is coming today?” Kibum asks.

“Nope, but he better be here because he has to speak first.”

“Which group is presenting today?” asks Mr. Cho.

“Ours, but we’re waiting for Lucas.” I reply.

Mr. Cho sighs and walks out of the classroom. I take the opportunity to set up the presentation on his computer. I turn my head towards the door when I see Lucas walk in shortly afterwards. It takes some effort on my part not to roll my eyes into the back of my head when he arrives, announcing to the class that he had trouble finding something to wear that morning to explain his lack of punctuality. I shake my head in disapproval as I head towards the front of the classroom to stand by the projector screen; the rest of the group members follow my lead.  

“You guys ready?” Mr. Cho asks as he walks back into the room.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Lucas sits on a lab stool across from me and begins to describe the basic functions of the kidney. I widen my eyes in surprise.

Holy shit, he actually knows something.

I control the remote to transition to the next slide and Kibum starts explaining his portion of the project. I shift my gaze when I hear Lucas chuckling and making slight hand motions to someone in the class. Following his line of sight, Yang Yang was making faces and hand gestures at Lucas from the back of the classroom.

Typical.

Soon enough, it’s my turn to speak. I explain a diagram of the Loop of Henle, trying to recall the notes I had made the night before. In the midst of turning to make eye contact with the rest of my class, my head stops short when I meet Lucas’s gaze. He carefully watches me as I speak.

He’s probably just watching me because I’m speaking. The best way to assess this is to watch his behavior while everyone else is speaking.

Surprisingly, I’m fairly decent at presenting even if I’m thinking about other things. Every time I turn to look at the audience, I pause on him briefly to check that he’s still looking, quickly turning away every time to make sure the rest of the class doesn’t catch on to my blatant staring. Without fail, he continues to watch me throughout my section of the presentation. As the presentation transitions from me to Sooyoung and Seohyun, Lucas’s eyes wander around the classroom, a look of disinterest on his face. He was no longer making faces with Yang Yang, but he wasn’t paying attention to the presenters anymore either.  

“Congratulations, Y/N!” I look over my shoulder to see Sicheng shouting from across the parking lot.

I raise an eyebrow. What’s he congratulating me for?

“Thank you!” I call back as a formality.

Oh, maybe it’s about –

“Hey!” a voice shouts from behind me.

I pause to let Lucas catch up to me.

“Hey, what’s up?” I greet.

“Congratulations on getting into UCLA!”

Yep, it’s about that…

“Thank you!”

I was surprised both he and Sicheng knew about my acceptance, but realized that Kibum must have told both of them. Kibum, Hana, and Doyoung were the only people I told since I had received the news.  

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“I was going to the other parking lot to go to my car to leave. Why?”

“I wanna show you some music!”

“Oh, sure!”

It was stupid of me to give in so easily after his clear demonstration of laziness and irresponsibility. But for whatever reason, I never opposed more bonding time with him unless it was over something dumb, like babysitting him while he did his homework. And on the bright side, it appeared that he didn’t take my anger at him too personally if he still wanted to show me music.

He turns around and I follow him to Seulgi’s car where she has her trunk popped open. He sits on the edge of the car trunk next to Seulgi while she talks with some of her friends. I lean against the car next to him.

“So my friends and I are practicing this dance…” he says as he types something into YouTube.

“What for?”

“We’re gonna compete in a K-Pop dance competition.”

You’re gonna what? I didn’t realize you danced…

“Oh really? That’s cool. How’s it coming along?”

“It’s all right; BTS has choreography that’s really complicated.”

“I’m not really into BTS – not a huge fan of rap and hip hop.”

The music video for “Boy in Luv” by BTS began to play. I sit and watch silently. I wasn’t a huge fan of the song, but as always, their choreography was amazing.

“He’s cute,” I remark.

“That’s Jungkook. He’s my favorite too.”

He continued to show me videos for the remainder of the lunch hour and convinced me to stay during my free period instead of going home. We discussed school a bit and my acceptance to UCLA. I thought my prospects with him seemed to be increasing, but I knew it would never last. I was leaving in a few months to go to college in California and Lucas would likely be staying here. Aside from that, the whole presentation issue wasn’t a good sign for long-term commitment. And even though I knew having a crush on Lucas wasn’t really worth my time, I couldn’t help it. But in the back of my mind, I was constantly reminded of the fact that he was going to prom with someone else that didn’t even attend our school. And unless something crazy happened, I probably wouldn’t have my chance for another dance.

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Before I Met You Masterlist Masterlist  

[fuwafuwamedb]

A Cursed G Pt 19 (Hakuno, Gilgamesh, Rin, Sakura)

Previous Part: One - HakuPOV / GilPOV, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

_____

“Hakuno.”

She was doing her best not to touch him today.

The moment that the morning had come, she’d found him lying atop her. He’d begun kissing along her person, taking his time about getting up when she’d noticed the hour.

They were running late.

In fact, seeing the time in the car, she’d surrendered her first class and simply skipped. They walked in with their usual drinks in hand and gone to her next class. This time, when he pushed a candy her way, she forced herself to take more notes. When she found his hand close enough to hold, she kept her hands occupied.

She held her notebooks with both hands when they walked from one class to the next.

By lunchtime, she’d known he’d figured her out.

“Hakuno,” Gilgamesh said again, setting her bag on the chair next to Rani and glaring at her. “What are you doing?”

“I-I don’t know what you mean.”

They both knew that was utter bullshit. She could see that gaze promising swift punishment for that boldface lie.

“I am just trying to focus today. I have exams coming up and there are other things we need to be thinking about.”

There were so many other things that they needed to be thinking about. The more she thought about it, the more the things seemed to pile up. With her magic, she had an edge. Perhaps, if she could just harness that magic a bit more to her own aims, maybe win some contests or something…

“You’re worrying alone. I thought we had worked through that.”

She tensed a bit, grabbing something from the lunch line and finding Gilgamesh picking something else. Her plates were becoming quickly filled with him next to her.

This conversation really wasn’t doing anyone any good.

“We should talk about this later.”

“Or we could talk now and I could avoid the headache that is you avoiding me for the entire afternoon.” The man glanced at her, narrowing his gaze a bit. “Is it fear for your own body that makes you do this or did something happen while I was asleep? I did not sense anyone come in.”

“It’s neither of those things.”

“It’s something.”

She glanced his way, paying for their food and heading over to the table.

They listened mostly to everyone else talk today.

Rin was having a heated debate with Rani over something from class. Rani was complaining to Emiya about leaving a light on in her vehicle and killing her car battery. Sakura was looking exhausted…

“Are you alright?”

“I had a case of mistaken identity happen yesterday,” she told her. “I thought I saw Rin, but the woman was just… Have you ever met someone and just instinctively thought they were a bad person?”

Oh boy, Rin lookalikes with bad person written all over them?

Hakuno gave a nod.

“You should go home,” Gilgamesh told the girl.

“I would, but we have our test today,” Sakura told him.

Shit.

Hakuno glanced at the others, finding them caught up in their conversation.

She’d forgotten about their test today. It wasn’t hard to believe since she’d been stuck handling the whole ‘my cat is actually an ancient king who has a very, very deep love for cuddling’ situation, but that was not going to be a good excuse.

Gods, she didn’t believe that excuse for a second. She’d been all too happy to toss her studies onto the backburner. At least, all of them but the ancient civilizations class.

That, she was doing remarkably well in.

“Sakura,” Hakuno grabbed her hands. “Can I see your notes?”

“Hmm?”

“I forgot to study.”

Emiya snorted. Gilgamesh scowled at her more, spurring Cu Chulainn soon enough to become involved in Rin and Rani’s argument.

“You forgot to study? What about last night?”

“I was busy.” Cuddling.

“The night before?”

“Something came up.” It’d been Gil’s mouth against her.

“What did you do over the weekend?” Sakura asked.

“I had… the engagement.” She’d had Gilgamesh become human and there had been a great deal of things to do to get him acclimated enough to not be a menace to her life in any truly obvious manner.

Sakura clicked her tongue, pulling out her notebook from her bags and handing the golden information over.

“Hakuno,” she chastised. “I know it’s exciting, but if you want to graduate and get a good job, you really need to study.”

“She will be fine,” Gilgamesh argued, turning away from his entertainment to butt into the conversation.

“What? Are you going to make her a housewife?” Emiya asked.

“I find it so interesting when your mouth moves,” Gilgamesh purred, narrowing those red eyes of his and watching the man on the other side of the table. “You seem to actually dare to give enough effort to allow speech to come forth. It reminds me your audacity far exceeds your self preservation.”

Hakuno stopped the argument by kicking Emiya.

The man gave her a look before scoffing.

They really needed to learn to get along.

She would need to make that some kind of stipulation. Gilgamesh did like bartering. And he did get along with Cu Chulainn in terms of the work that the other was doing on construction projects. Maybe if she could find something that Emiya and him had in common-

“Hakuno?”

Hakuno glanced over at Sakura.

“I ah… I was wondering if Gilgamesh knew anyone around here. You both are going to your classes, but I was wondering if he was thinking about attending or if he had business that he did here.”

Shit.

Why did Sakura have to ask good questions? She couldn’t just accept like the others did.

Emiya glanced over at Gilgamesh, nodding at Sakura’s question.

“She does bring up a good point. How exactly did the two of you run into one another?”

Damn it all. She sucked at lying!

“The library.”

Everyone, including her, looked at Gilgamesh. The man himself pulled one of the books from his bag and set it on the table.

It was the tacky version of the Epic of Enkidu that had some cuneiform in it. She’d gotten it for translation purposes.

“I am a collector. Unlike many tasteless merchants and people these days, I have enough money to not need to work and I looking into getting this book for personal reasons when Hakuno attempted to snatch it from me.”

What?

Cu Chulainn snorted at the thought. Rin and Rani raised an eyebrow, already judging her for that bold move.

“So you fought over a book?” Sakura asked.

“Hakuno managed to chase me out of the building and we ended up arguing straight to my dinner reservation.”

“And then…“

“And then I found a woman daring to argue with me in a five star restaurant about something that no one else would care about without any cares to her appearance or her person,” Gilgamesh purred. “She was more than happy to complain to me up until the moment I pulled out a chair for her, threw her into it, set the book before her, and told her to eat with me.”

The table was quiet at that.

“Naturally, I went back to my hotel for a while, but I found I quite like the domestic life. The early mornings tangled with one another and the feeling of Hakuno’s-“

“OKAY!” Rin waved her hands. “I don’t want to hear about this. Nice story. Good to know the wedding budget will be nice and large.”

“Hey, Rin-“

“Don’t even bring up that time, Cu.”

The woman sighed, but Hakuno simply turned her attention back to Sakura’s notebook.

She could see Gil’s hand nearby.

Without even needing to be asked, he’d lent a hand. She was being difficult and he was bearing with her.

Her hand wrapped around his as she turned the page.

No one deserved to have someone be bitchy when they were being polite. She’d settle down, unless he tried to be impossible.

They ate after she studied for a few minutes. Once that was done, she went ahead with bringing Sakura’s notebook to her next class.

The test, as she found it, was a mystery of questions she felt lukewarm about.

Perhaps she’d done well. Perhaps she’d bombed it.

Her face pressed against Gilgamesh’s chest the moment they left the room. She had to wait for Sakura to get out so she could return the girl’s notebook.

“That hard?”

“It was awful.”

Gilgamesh made a noise before wrapping his arms around her. His lips met her forehead as she looked up at him. Her nose was the next thing he kissed.

The test may be bombed, but she did have a meal ticket.

Strangely enough, Gilgamesh was apparently some private citizen with more wealth than brains. She’d ended up hitting the jackpot in saving the poor fluffy cat from being devoured by hounds in a back alley on her way to her home.

“Stop frowning so much,” the man complained.

“Stop complaining,” she countered.

The man laughed, pulling her tighter to him.

Maybe, once she got him back to Uruk, she could get a few tablets and things from the man. She could have him place them somewhere where they’d age and be preserved and she could go find them and sell them so she’d be set for life. Or maybe, since Enkidu was clay and not human, they could have Enkidu find her with those valuables and give her all the money she needed so she could just have some fun instead of studying forever.

Ah, but get rich quick schemes were always fraught with problems.

Probably best off here.

The thought of being able to enjoy her studies more without the weight of responsibility felt nice though. It felt especially nice with Gilgamesh’s lips moving to hers now, the magic between them sparking to life.

It had been a while since she’d done anything with her abilities.

“Even if you have failed, the test was unimportant.” His hands moved along her back. “Such frivolous debates over morals are things that are set forth to distract from what’s important. You can spend a lifetime arguing your place and find that you have accomplished nothing more than cry like a child. It won’t bring food to your place nor pleasure to your soul.”

Was he really comforting her?

Hakuno went to speak when she caught sight of the door opening.

She handed Sakura her book and thanked the woman quickly before turning away. She kept her hand in Gilgamesh’s own as they headed back out to the car.

He pressed her against the vehicle a moment before Hakuno sighed.

She just…

She liked everything about this; the attention, the companionship, the comfort, the comradery, the fact that she had someone to open up to and talk to, the fact that Gilgamesh seemed to be all too happy to tear down any silence between them. She liked the way he fell asleep with his bangs falling into his face, making him look more innocent than he was. She liked watching him practically preen when she used the blowdryer on him.

Her mouth moved against his.

Her arms and legs wrapped around him tightly.

There was nothing else she could do but enjoy the ride.

The fact echoed in her head as she pulled back enough to tell him that they should head home. It echoed in the back of her mind when they read through the books he had and headed to the library for her to work.

She found herself thinking about it when they went to bed that night, with Gilgamesh’s head coming to rest against her chest.

Two more days of this.

Two days were filled with her hand in his and her mind slowly filling more and more with things she liked. He had a way of making a woman really like pleasure. He had a way of making someone feel important. Perhaps it was the fact that he was just so damn prideful and particular that it made him being less of an ass something unique.

That was why.

That had to be why.

Hakuno stared at her reflection, listening to Rin and Sakura chattering away on the other side of the dressing room with the store attendant.

The white fabric hung close to her person, hanging just off her shoulders. The lace and the detail on the dress caught her eyes, but not as much as seeing herself in the strange attire.

What am I doing?

The white dress with its hugging, flattering cut and trim alongside the white gloves on her hands said she was actually marrying this man.

She didn’t need to marry him.

They would find a way to get him home and back to his people. He had about a couple hundred wives, to a point where they didn’t matter. He sent them off to be temple maidens and wives to others once he grew tired of them. The man himself had simply ignored that statement about the wives when she’d said she’d known he had them.

There is a higher position…

He’d mentioned something more than a wife.

The only thing she could think of was a consort queen. Someone to marry into the royal family of Uruk as his equal… but that couldn’t be possible.

A knock came at the door.

“Hakuno?”

She opened the door, watching Rin grin at the sight of the dress.

“Perfect!”

Sakura took one look before snapping her fingers. “We should get a bouquet for you to hold! I’ve seen that in the movies!”

“And a veil!” Rin called after her. “GET A VEIL TOO!”

She wasn’t used to this.

Sakura returned and Hakuno found herself trapped as the two handed her the flowers and set the veil into place. The conversation resumed being about the wedding day.

Walking down the aisle of a church…

Reciting vows of loyalty and devotion to one another…

Becoming husband and wife…

The room was getting warm at that. The two glanced her way and grinned.

“You know, Hakuno, you look even better in the dress with the blush on your face,” Sakura told her.

“We’ll need to make sure to do that. I want to see that arrogant jerk cry. I know it won’t be easy, but ohhh, it’ll be so worth it,” Rin told them bluntly. “Cu actually told me his advice was better than mine the other night.”

“It’s construction though, Rin,” Sakura reminded her.

The woman waved a hand. “I know, but this is about showing a little comradery. He should know better than to simply say that Gilgamesh knew better.”

Hakuno moved to find a seat, turning away from the mirror.

The other two stopped their debate to move closer to her.

“Are you alright?”

“I think…” Hakuno glanced at the two, her mind still on the image that the two had conjured up. “I think I love him, guys.”

The two glanced at one another before laughing.

It wasn’t funny though.

She could already see him waiting at the altar, glancing her way as she headed for him. She could already see that knowing smirk on his lips, hear him stating in that oddly cryptic way of his about how he would be there. How they would simply be going to his home.

Gods, but she could imagine having him in her home as her husband.

He’s not even from this time!

“Hakuno?”

Rin was waving her hand in front of her, but she couldn’t focus. She was busy thinking about this. She was actually marrying Gilgamesh. The records would show her as Ms. Gilgamesh. Her life would always have that detail included.

“I think she’s having those wedding jitters,” Sakura stated.

“I think so too. Go get some of that champagne that they were pouring in the other room,” Rin bid, waving her off before she moved a bit closer.

She loved someone who was married to literal dozens of women.

She loved someone who was determined to go back to a time without medicine or internet or anything.

“Breathe, Hakuno.” Rin pat her shoulder, awkwardly looking around a moment before she pulled her close. “You know… It’s just embarrassing to think about now… I’m sure it’ll be fine when you’re actually there. Just… Don’t think about it. Avoid it at all costs and just enjoy the moment.”

Great.

She had the one woman who avoided relationship talk talking to her about her relationship.

“Just don’t think about it,” Rin cooed again, running a hand along her back. “You’re just having another day… but in white. It’s fine.”

“Rin, I can’t actually imagine being without him.”

The woman blushed hard, turning her face away. “That’s… Let’s not worry about that.”

“We’re like you and Cu.”

If her face could become any redder, her sweater would need to be returned for being a knock off attempt at red. The woman stuttered for a moment before Sakura returned with liquor.

“There we are,” Rin cooed, standing up and grabbing a glass. She set a glass in her hands. She took a glass for herself.

Together, the three of them clinked their glasses and glanced at her dress.

“…I like this one,” Hakuno told them.

“It’s very pretty,” Rin told her.

“I liked the mermaid one,” Sakura complained.

They drank through three bottles.

Not only did they drink through the entirety of three bottles, they went straight to a bakery for taste testing. The three of them hiccupped and Hakuno found herself crying again as she bit into some of the most delicious cake she’d ever tasted.

Her friends found themselves patting her back once more, telling her to stop thinking about it.

Because avoidance was the key word on their foraging for wedding things.

The two dragged her home stuffed, dry eyed, and slightly suffering from a hangover. The door opened to Gilgamesh glancing at her, no doubt noting the red rimmed eyes, the fatigue, and the slight flush to her features at the sight of him.

Because… she really liked this guy.

“You’re all done today?” he inquired of the two.

“Yeah. We’re done,” Sakura beamed. “I’m taking Rin home before turning in. I think we did enough damage this evening.”

He raised a brow at that, but he pulled her in.

Hakuno wrapped her arms around the man.

“You smell like food,” he told her.

“We were looking at caterers,” she murmured into his shirt.

“I don’t know what that means, woman.”

“Food.”

The man pulled her to the couch, setting her down a moment before he went to get her a glass of water. No questions. No judgement. He wasn’t even getting after her about being brought home in this state. Gilgamesh was just kind enough to bring her a glass of water and settle onto the couch next to her.

She wasn’t even sure how to put what she thought into words.

What could she say that would sound different from his wives?

Over a hundred women. A hundred; all of whom had had their own wedding nights with this man. They’d all thought themselves important and worthy of their own stories. Then they-

“It’s been a few days since I saw you like this,” Gilgamesh told her simply. His thumbs wiped at her cheeks a moment before he leaned in close. “If you are rethinking about our agreement, you should know I do not appreciate anyone who goes back on their word-“

Hakuno grabbed his shirt and kissed him hard.

The smirk could be felt on his lips.

She could feel him lowering her back against the sofa, sliding her under him and taking his time about kissing her again.

She pushed a little of her magic through her system to get the alcohol through. She wanted to kiss him sober. Maybe if she was sober, she could get things into perspective.

Maybe-

A knocking came at the door again.

She could see Gilgamesh move to stand up, his hands holding-

He’d gotten her halfway undressed already.

“Do not move,” he warned her, tossing her bra into a corner of the room. “I’m coming back to this.”

Hakuno listened to the pounding on the door and shook her head. They didn’t need to be bothering with the door.

“I am going to hate whomever is on the other side of this-“

“Gil.”

The man paused, almost to the door.

Hakuno motioned towards her room.

“If we go into my room and close the door, we won’t be hearing the pounding on the door. We can continue this.”

Whatever this was.

“You don’t have to answer.”

“And if it’s important?”

Hakuno pulled out her phone, showing the blank screen lacking of notifications. The image of him as a cat was still there, with him fluffed up after a blowdrying.

They didn’t bother with the door.

In fact, they went straight to her room and Hakuno found herself fighting to hold back the words that now echoed in her mind when they touched.

She really loved him.

She had a dangerous soft spot for this king.

There was a chance, a very dangerous one, that she’d actually try to go to Uruk with him. Even if it was only for a few days, there was a strong chance she’d try to stay by his side.

“Stay with me,” Gilgamesh murmured to her as they fell asleep together, her body alive and her nerves dancing with the need for more touch.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Hakuno told him honestly.

Her mind flickered to him showing the same sleepy smile he had now at the altar of a church.

Her mind danced around that ‘I love you’ confession once again.

In the end, she settled for simply holding him close and running a hand through his blonde hair, remaining awake just long enough to ensure no Sumerian love goddesses would come to harm him. 

 He was hers, after all.

[junipershill17]

twelve Things You Should Consider When Acquiring Your First Condo

1) Analysis the Builder:

Not all building contractors are alike. Many create high quality condos and have some sort of track record of success, while others slice corners and build substandard condos. Aside from reviewing the general contractors webpage, one should also carry out an internet search for watchdog studies, lawsuits and discussion boards to get proposed and existing accommodations. One thing to look out with regard to is whether the builder who is project you are interested in, has a background for completing their assignments on time. I had a client who have purchased with a builder (who shall remain nameless in this particular article) that habitually forced back completion dates. Our client was promised typically the keys a little under 36 months after purchasing the unit, plus the builder delayed possession thrice from their original projected conclusion date. After many irritating delays, he final acquired the keys a whole a couple of and a half years after the authentic scheduled completion date. This specific tied his deposit funds up for an a total regarding 5. 5 years. It was almost considered like a 2 . 5 12 months interest free loan on the builder! In retrospect, as a possible investor, he would have loved to invest in another project from 15% deposit, then take other 10% and rescued another 5%, and put that money into one more project, returning him probably double the return, including 2 . 5 less yrs. This is why it pays to research often the builder!

2) Choose the form of condo that meets yourself:

Not all condos are likewise. Some have age constraints, and rules about animals. Other condos are more loved ones friendly in terms of the unit measurements and amenities. Still other folks cater to retiree's. A good way to decide this is have a look at the number of bachelor's, one, two and a few bedroom units in the complete building. You may also contact the house manager for the condominium to be able to verify whether it is a lifestyle condo catering to a certain demographic. People fewer two and several bedroom units will likely not appeal to large families. juniper hill

3) Identify financial status:

If you are a newbies buyer, getting pre-approved to get a mortgage is a must. Contact your loan company to determine your buying ability, and get a firm commitment page from them locking in the level, and approval amount. No-one wants to be left around the closing day without a mortgage loan approval after you already produced the purchase. I have acquired countless past clients that have been given what they thought has been an approval from their bank, exactly where in fact it was nothing more than a new verbal agreement. Some people have gotten credit issues in the past which could warrant a more difficult endorsement process, and possibly at a increased rate. It is always better to understand that you received a formal pre-approval before you fall in love with a home you can not afford.

4) Talk with local real estate agent:

Real estate agent's can give you statistics of which condominiums are appreciating well in Mississauga as well as the most popular unit sorts, and floor plans. This will likely help you to make a direct assessment between different condo properties in order to establish the true associated with the unit you are interested in. Don't merely settle for any real estate agent. Once more, not all real estate agents are the same. Make an effort to work with a local expert that are experts in the type of properties that curiosity you. After all, why can you work with a realtor that markets mainly full sized residences in the suburbs, when you are seeking purchase a condo in the metropolis? It is like going to the dental office for your flu!

5. Carry out your own research:

If you plan to get a home without a real estate agent, you ought to look into the sales of the adjacent area yourself. Again, these kinds of resources will be less obtainable to the general public, but you could have access to the asking rates of similar properties. That does not mean that those prices will be the market values for that certain property, or even necessarily whatever they sell for. Be careful while information gathering. I have experienced a number of past clients reward me after their hunt for educating them on location values, and explaining to these what to look for when they are searching. Why don't get the assistance of a regional expert, when they're providers are free?

6. Find out modification capability:

Although freehold qualities allow the owner to carry out restorations without anyone's consent, condo properties have restrictions on what may be altered for each unit. A standard rule of thumb should be to request composed permission from the property supervision before making any renovations. The house managers consent is always needed to various degrees depending on the residence. Usually renovation work that requires removing a wall or maybe upgrading bathtubs and baths will have limitations on what can easily, and cannot be done. Several require that a detailed reconstruction plan be submitted into the condo board for agreement prior to the renovation taking place. It will always be better to be proactive. An individual wouldn't want to reverse the actual reno back once it is completed! I had a client who all removed all the carpet inside their unit, to replace with wooden. She did this to boost the value of their unit before selling it, only to learn that management had to agree to any floor renovations. The lady tried to then sell the system thinking that hardwood wood raise the value of her unit. That did increase the value of your ex unit, but in failing to utilize and receive consent from your property manager, she was could possibly be renovation restrictions in the developing. It was later found that will she did not use the appropriate sound-proofing underpad beneath the hard wood. The condo corporation regarded that this would hinder the particular enjoyment of the unit owner immediately below hers because of sound. Consequently, she had to split out the hardwood, install fresh underpad, and then replace the wood. This ate into just about all her profit, and your girlfriend investment, and time was certainly not rewarded. The moral in the story is to always check into these renovations with the rental property manager before you begin. It could save you lots of money!

7) Ask for a disclosure statement:

The developer as well as builder of a new terme conseillé is required to have an information report giving details of the building, along with the legal terms under that this condominium will operate. The particular booklet is available immediately after typically the Agreement of Purchase along with Sale is signed. With resale units, this "Condo By Laws and Declarations" booklet is always made available through the 10 day conditional interval when you purchase a unit. It is placed on the status certificate that may be forwarded to your lawyer regarding review. Your lawyer and then has 2 business days and nights to review the certificate, in addition to consult the purchaser together with his/her findings. If almost everything checks out, the buyer may progress with the purchase. If there are usually red flags in the documents, often the purchaser always reserves it is your right walk away within the conditional time.

8. Ask for a site program:

It is important to know if the model that you want to purchase is in the 1st, second or third period of development so that you understand any future construction which could block your existing look at. Of equal significance will be knowing when, and everywhere more development may take place around this building. New improvement adjacent to the building will influence the use and enjoyment of your house due to noise, vibration, unpleasant construction, dust and nasty smells. It is also good practice to master where your unit will be inside proximity to the elevator, rubbish disposal room, and services, as units near these components usually have a stigma installed on them in the resale industry. Besides, who would want to scent the garbage room after a very long day at work.

9) Establish development plans for the associated with area:

Many condos can be purchased under the premise of a very clear view to the Lake, scenery, or green-space. To ensure that the lovely view will be maintained in the long term, an easy trip to the Planning Department will let you ask if any other innovations are planned nearby, and have a look at the architectural pictures. The planners should be able to assist you to understand the types of developments which can be proposed around you. I have got many calls from people that bought privately through the creator units with south landscapes of the lake as an investment property. These investors would hold the unit until they obtain the keys, and the building subscribes as a condominium corporation. At this time, they would try to resell it, only to be shocked which a new condominium just commenced construction in front of they're system, obstructing their perfect to the south view. The investors blunder was being too excited during the buy process, without taking a take a step back and asking the right concerns up front.

10) Review service details:

If the developer provides a swimming pool, it is important to really know what size and whether it is inside or outdoor. The same is true of party rooms, exercise locations, gyms, sports fields, doctor offices and lockers. Find out how huge, how many, and where will have them located.

Again, these 12 considerations can affect both your entertainment, and the resale value of your current condo. It is always better to research before you buy upfront, and then enjoy the returns of your hard work once you have shifted in!

References Apartment

[chaniters]

Cellmates

Awan and Elyise have time to talk, as they seek to escape their cell.

Part 13 of @kruk-art‘s Awan Cormac’s fic, and the longest thing I’ve written so far. The end is nigh though.

___________________________________________

“Are you awake?!” A voice says to your left. 

You turn lightly, to notice Elyise chained to the ceiling, her feet dangling over the ground.

Looking up you realize you are similarly restrained, and that you are dangling just as she is. 

“ARE YOU AWAKE?” she insists. 

“I think I am” you state.

“About time” she grumbles.

“What’s going on…?” you asks just an instant before your mind decides to reboot and provide all the missing memories. “Oh. Reaper is a jerk.” Your suit seems to be still on, and there’s a pair of burn marks where Reaper shot you. So this is where you ended up it seems.

“Precisely.” she nods. 

“He got you too?” you ask rather calmly. By your standards, being suspended is pretty tame… unlike the farm’s numerous pressure tests. 

“No, I just came to stretch my arms… OF COURSE, HE GOT ME TOO, GENIUS!!” she states dangling to the side furiously.

“Ugh, don’t yell, my head’s killing me” 

“He’s the one who’s gonna kill us if we don’t do something”

“Relax. If he wanted us dead we wouldn’t be even talking up here” 

“RELAX? You want me to relax?!”

“I’m the one who should be mad, you’re darn liar, remember? What the fuck is your deal, Elyise?”

“My deal? Getting out alive is my deal, always!”

“You worked for Hollow Ground, you had links with the Loanshark and then you helped Reaper? What side are you on?!”

“I’m on my own side ok?. Someone has to be,” 

“You could have mentioned that YOU HELPED KILL HOOD!”

Oh, that struck a chord. She turns to you, angrily. 

“Do you think it was my idea? I don’t know what you heard, but I was FORCED to help in that.”

“You could’ve said NO!”

“Because that was a great choice for me, right?  If I hadn’t helped Hollow Ground would have thrown me out for mom to find. She had precogs in her little cult. Wouldn’t have lasted a day on my own”

“You also helped Reaper murder a ton of people just to keep your secret!”

“Those people? They’re SCUM! And I don’t know if you noticed but everyone in their right mind approved of what Catastrofiend did”

“So if you’re so happy about it, then why aren’t you helping Reaper anymore?!” 

“BECAUSE HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT YOU GUYS, OK?  I DONT KNOW WHY HE DID THAT! HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD CATASTROFIEND TO LEAVE WHEN YOU SHOWED UP. I QUESTIONED HIM AFTER OUR CHAT, AND HERE I AM!”

“Hurting us, huh? That’s what bothered you? What about, oh I don’t know DATING CHARGE for example? Did someone force you to do that too?!

“I knew this was about it! You never liked me around him! I saw how you looked at us!”

“That’s not...”

“Admit it already!” You’re definitely NEVER going to admit something like that. 

“You know he worshipped Hood, and you’re accessory to his murder! Don’t you think he had at least the right to know about something like that?!”

“...” she starts to say something, but her voice breaks and she looks away.  You won the argument, clearly.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought!” you say annoyed, looking at the binds. Maybe you can find some way to get out and leave her here.

“...I just wanted to be normal, ok?” she says after a while, turning back at you. 

“Normal?”

“He talked to me about so many things… And he listened… And I… I had never been with anyone before… and he was so darn nice I just… I just wanted to be happy”

“Don’t. Just don’t! Don’t you dare... No.. don’t you… crap” you say looking at her teary eyes.

It’s not the physical crying that does it but the inner mess of emotions. It actually shuts you up, mainly because you understand where she’s coming from all too well. 

Are you just being one big hypocrite? 

You escaped the farm to kill someone in the first place.

Shit, she’s making it harder to hate her. 

“What?” she says as you fall silent “aren’t you going to go on about how am I a total piece of shit?”

“... No…” you grumble

Silence. Only interrupted by the clinking of the chains.

If only you could walk out of the room and have some time to think about it… But no. You have to return to reality. 

Realty being you’ve both been captured by a skull-faced homicidal maniac

“Listen… I assume you’ve tried to get us out with your telekinesis?” 

“I did. There’s some sort of security system that prevents it. 

“Can you show me?”

She nods slowly 

“This cell gets even funnier when I try that”  You can sense her concentrating and…. 

The walls start shinning in bright blue, the room filling with static, followed by a deafening booming sound from every side, stronger. She screams something… and then you’re screaming something too… so loud… 

Until it all dies out, your ears still ringing echoes of it. 

“Ugh, this is a nasty one… Sonic pain inducers” you yell.

“WHAT?” she yells back, still half-deaf.

Probably on par with some of the Farm’s tests. Just your luck, Awan, you say to yourself. 

A console lights up on the far end, with Charon’s logo on it…

“For the fourth time Prisoners, I advise you not to attempts that again. This room can be electrically magnetized and will counter any telekinetic attempt to escape. It is also equipped with sound blasting technology that will castigate unruly behavior.” The console shuts down soon after the last word is said. 

“Shit!” you say

“I know. Do you have any skills to escape something like this?”

You study the binds. They seem simple chains and manacles and you’ve got nothing to pick the lock with. THere’s no other mind than Elyise’s close enough for you to reach either.

“Nope”

“Then we’re royally fucked” she states.

“Indeed” you sigh.

“Distract Charon. I will try to send a telepathic message to the rangers” you send the words into her mind so Charon won’t overhear. She seems startled, but nods in silence. 

You start clearing your mind for the task at hand. Never attempted communication at this range, and there’s no guarantee that it would work at all even if you had been practising. It doesn’t help that there are millions of people in Los Diablos and you want to find a single mind.  

Piece of cake, Awan.  

________A few hours later._______________

Your arms hurt like hell from dangling and you’ve lost track of time, but you’re not giving up, repeating the message over and over… impossible to tell if you are being heard or not.  

“HEY CHARON!” She yells. Elyise has been doing a superb job of distracting the AI. You wish she wasn’t that good because it distracts you as well. 

The screen turns on, and the display comes online once more. If AI’s had human personalities you would say Charon is surprisingly gossipy. He probably doesn’t get many people to chat with since the Defenders Society disbanded. 

“What? I’ve already told you I’m not going to let you go”

“Just wanted to ask you when did Reaper decide he wanted to kill all those drug-dealers”

“Whatever do you mean? Master has killed drug-dealers many times in the past.”

“Oh c’mon! He hasn’t killed anyone in almost a decade!”

“It’s true… he took a long hiatus after retiring from the crime-fighting life. His focus fell almost entirely upon charity projects after his cancer got worse”

“Was it hard, overcoming it?”

“He did not overcome it.

“What do you mean? He told everyone he was doing great!”

“That was a lie he repeated many times. His doctors gave him months to live and he dismissed them. And then the Hauswald foundation burned down, sending him into a deep depression”

“What?” you interrupt. Elyise gives you an angry look, her mind telling you to focus on your own thing. She’s right… back to send your signal.

“Months to live? Is he dying? I saw him standing up earlier!”

“He was dying, right until he wasn’t. My research into the subject he brought in changed everything!”

You can barely hear what they’re saying… you’re picking up something… something getting closer...

“You mean my mother?”

“Affirmative. The subject possessed impressive regenerative properties never seen before on a boost. I theorized that a series of transfusions could heal him by making his own tissues more competitive than the cancer-cells”

It’s clear now. Someone picked up your message and is very close to Reaper’s complex… 

“He has… my mother’s blood?”

“Indeed. He was reluctant, thus I had to administer it hidden in his medication.”

“You… gave it to him without him knowing?!”

“Indeed. I would do anything to preserve my master.”

“Aren’t there secondary effects?”

“Oh yes. Many in fact. I discovered most of them after the third transfusion took place”

“What side effects?!”

“Psychological mostly. Sharp aggression increases, self-restraint, almost nullified. Morality ambiguity and…”

Someone’s walking up to the Manor’s gate… with a vengeance. You sense some sort of fight taking place. 

“I am sorry. Someone’s being rather rude at the main gate. We can finish this conversation later” the screen says before turning off.

“Did you get someone?” she asks

“I think so?”

“Who?”

“I’m not really sure… I think it’s…”

The sound of fighting interrupts you, along with blaring sirens.

There is only one presence in the complex asides from her, and it doesn’t take you long to figure out who. 

“It’s Anathema!” you say. “They’re fighting a lot of security drones”

“about time we got some good luck. Guide them to us?!”

It’s not hard to send Anathema a signal they can follow. They’re used to working with you. 

Finally, you can hear the noise coming up to your cell, with gunshots and skittering of metallic legs and the sizzling of acid.

“CEASE AND DESIST INTRUDER! THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY AND YOU ARE TRESPASSING!”

“I’ll give you trespassing and then some, you dumb toasters!”

“GET AWAY FROM  THE PREMISES!”

“Will you shut up already? I can’t hear my own thoughts and I think I’m getting some that are not even mine…”

“Get out before you are hurt human!” 

“Hurt? You know your spider-things can’t hurt me! I’ve gone through three dozens of them already!”

“Losses are meaningless. I have an immense reserve of combat drones!”

“And I have like the worst case of reflux in mankind’s history, so give me a break will you?” he sounds like he’s just in front of you now… 

“HERE! WE’RE IN HERE!” You shout out, with Elyise joining you.

“About time! I thought I was going mad with all the talking toasters”

The door starts smoking and dissolving under the acid shower from the other side. 

Soon, Anathema steps in, looking up at the two of you. 

“Oh, so you’re doing some stretching up in here?” he jokes, looking relieved.  

“Very funny” you answer. 

“Yeah, hilarious”  Elyise adds

“Oh c’mon, It was a good one-liner!” he grins looking up at the chains. “Now how do I get you out without dripping acid on your hair…”

“Can you deal with that box on the corner?” Elyise says looking down at it. 

“Can do” Annie states, letting a few drops off at it. Always amazes you, how it goes through almost anything.

Elyise inhales deeply and puts her powers in motions, both sets of chains bursting open to pieces. She floats gently to the ground…. While you land less gracefully.

“Ouch,” Anathema says helping you. 

“My poor arms” Elyise complains, stretching some. Yours do too, but you’re a bit more used to this kind of stuff.

“How long have we been here?” you ask. 

“A day and a half? I realized something was wrong when you didn’t come back… But I expected you were behind it all” Annie says looking at Elyise. “No offense”. 

“I do get that sometimes…” she sighs

“It’s not her Annie. It was Reaper all along”

“R… Reaper? Are you for real?”

“Afraid so…”

“RETURN THE PRISONERS AND SURRENDER!” Charon’s voice reaches from afar, the sound of metal legs coming in closer.

“Ahh crazy computers, love me. Ok, you two stay behind me, and don’t step on the acid, ok?” he says grinning.

The way out is plagued with spider terror drones but they are simply no match for Anathema, who marches you to the exit without a hitch. You find your gun on the way out along with the data rod. Elyise gives you a terrifyed look as you take it, but you don’t say a word about it to Annie. 

Not yet, at least. 

___________________________________________

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.