#I mean granted I've already heard people like that before

[blimbo-buddy]

Oh also going on about the california stuff, as much as I genuinely have the most mixed feelings about california, a part of me gets really worried that one day I'm gonna run into someone on here whose post bashing it has weirdly racist undertones towards latinos

[autisticrosewilson]

What do the other Wilson family members think of Jason?

I assume you're talking about in the context of him being shipped with one of them, I've shipped him with all of them at least once so I'll go down the list! Tell me if you want specifics on a particular ship or au though.

Suggestive content ahead, the Wilson's aren't exactly known for being normal sex havers

If he's dating Slade:

Grant (if he's alive) - Frothing at the mouth mad. He thought Slade was homophobic this whole time. Particularly upset it's Graysons brother. Sidenote: I don't see Slade fighting the Titans without Grant's death as a factor, so Dick would be Grant's nemesis.

Joey (if he's alive) - dating his ex boyfriends brother should be illegal. He used to babysit that little gremlin. Calling his mom to complain. Shaking crying throwing up. Keeps trying to get Jason to find someone else, anyone else.

Rose - HER EX BOYFRIEND ARE YOU BEING REAL. Betrayal on all sides. She gets over it eventually but that doesn't mean she's happy about it. Her brothers - if they're alive - being horrified by it make her warm up to it. She's a menace first and a person second. She's working closely with Dick to break it up though.

Adeline (if she's alive) - Heard about it from Joey, disappointed but not surprised. Sneers at it being a college boy, but after learning more about Red Hood she's mildly interested. She's impressed that anyone would choose to put up with Slade, but as long as he STOPS FUCKING CALLING HER she'll let it be. Could be persuaded into a threesome far, FAR in the future after a couple years with Jason has made Slade more tolerable.

Billy - smug, he TOLD Slade it would be more than just sex but no one ever listens to him. Also extremely tired, part of Slade being more tolerable is that the jobs he's willing to take slim dramatically. He gets huffy about it but he's definitely lowkey salty they haven't asked him to join yet.

If he's dating Rose -

Slade - Canonically their biggest fan. Jason has barely started flirting back with Rose before Slade is acting like he's already Jason's father in law. 50/50 on whether he's genuine or doing it to fuck with people. Shows his approval by challenging Jason to armed combat routinely and inviting him on jobs. Keeps asking when he's getting grandkids.

Grant - over protective but pretends he's not. GRAYSONS LITTLE BROTHER?!? Abhorrent. Is reluctantly bribed by Jason's cooking. Only starts warming up to Jason when he realizes that Jason is like, made of house husband stay at home dad material. Like an hour into a house call informed him that Jason is so hopelessly in love with Rose it's almost pathetic.

Joey - FUCKING FINALLY!! He's been here since day one, plotting, scheming. Carefully manufactured scenarios for them to spend more time together. Best man at the wedding, he wrestled Grant on the ground for it. Video called Dick with TEARS IN HIS EYES to tell him the news.

Billy - Normal father in law. Takes Jason on fishing and hunting trips. Reconnected with Alfred at the wedding and they're both ecstatic. You'd think it would be Slade who'd be gunning for the number one grandpa title and you'd be wrong, Billy is clawing his way to the top of that list.

Addie - Who? What? Oh. Fine. Reluctantly showed up to the wedding. Admittedly charmed by their dynamic. Mildly jealous at the sight of a non failing marriage but she's got enough self awareness not to be upset over it. Leaves the best gift by far, and she does end up trading recipes with Alfred by the end of the night.

If he's dating Grant:

Slade - Not exactly mad, but he is annoyed. He rolls his eyes but looks away when Red X is chasing the second Robin around Gotham, but he draws the LINE at his son giving up mercenary work to be Red Hood's lieutenant. Especially because it looks,,, serious, and serious means he'll be related to the bat sooner rather than later. 98% sure they're doing it to upset him specifically (he's wrong it's only like 25% for that)

Joey - In counter to Dick and Rose, he's actually pretty supportive. He thinks it's cute and he's glad that Grant has a good influence, but he'll be near the front of the line if Grant fucks it up. He's not as supportive about the pining stage they go through, mostly because he's the first person Grant laments to.

Rose - her bestie dating her BROTHER. Disgusted, betrayed, plotting their downfall. Absolutely thinks Jason can do better. She comes around to it faster than Dick only when she's entirely sure she can't do anything about it. Still bullies them both though.

Addie - Well. There are worse options. The real bonus here is her newfound connection with Talia. World's most controlling mother in law, loves Jason like one of her own sons though. Unfortunately that means he gets treated just like her other sons... Quality of the treatment is debatable.

If he's dating Joey -

Slade - Definitely the most upset in this scenario. That's undeniably his favorite kid and Jason... isn't the kind of person he thinks is good enough. Not that he thinks anyone would be. He doesn't go out of his way to drive Jason away per se, but he does put him through the most vigorous "tests". Begrudgingly respects Jason for passing most of them with flying colors.

Addie - Mother hen in law. Planning the wedding since day ONE. What's the equivalent of like, a sister in law but for the mom's of the spouses? Is that a thing? Regardless, she gets very close with Talia very quickly. Bruce Wayne's third biggest hater, she makes his life HELL.

Rose - Better than Grant. Still not happy, but she accepts it more easily. Maid of honor but she swears up and down they're cringe and she hates it. Complains to Dick about it but they're both secretly fond.

Billy - Never booking a hotel without soundproof walls with them again.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Another sagau reader hearing someone insulting characters and going apeshit but when someone insults reader are like "......hmm shodul I drink hot chocolate or tea today?" This time ganyu( becose I still pissed at one guy who insulted her i her own story quest) bennet and nilou (another chance to make azar feel terror)

COMING RIGHT UP, ANON. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING OMG 💀 I have been too dead without these requests, fr.

Click Me For Part 1!

When Someone Insults Ganyu, Bennett, and Nilou vs When Someone Insults Reader...

(Disclaimers: Might Be OOC, Mentions of Violence, & Quest/Genshin Impact Lore Spoilers!)

Ganyu

Okay, first of all: Yes, I am adding that stupid idiot cough Xin Cheng cough into this.

You were just following the Traveler and Paimon, joining Ganyu's Story Quest which, for some reason, was not completed yet. So, you decided to tag along to see Ganyu!

You weren't hyped when that beggar came out of nowhere and started to do all that fairytale stuff even you don't approve of—and you were someone that sticks themselves into your own head, thank you very much.

So when this man started to gain the audacity to insult Ganyu, you knew you had to step up and do something. No one, and you quite mean it, was going to insult her and get away with it.

"Hey!" You came out from your hiding spot (you're the Almighty Creator, you know it'll make the situation worse). "Just what the hell do you think you're doing, huh?"

Xin Cheng pales at the sight of your enraged figure. He stutters to make an excuse, but you cut him off. You're having none of it.

"Get your useless self out of here, before I decide to kick it down the mountains myself!"

To say that Ganyu was shocked that you were getting angry over a mortal was an understatement. She was beyond surprised that you even stood up for her.

But she did have to intervene with your threatening—after all, she is still an Adeptus. Protecting the people of Liyue was still her duty.

"Your Grace...Please let him go. I'm sure he already understands his mistake." Ganyu's soft voice only made your anger increase—she sounded so upset!

"Y-yes, please, Your Grace! I understand what I've done wrong, I—"

"Silence." You glare down at the mortal. Your turn back to Ganyu, and considered your choices. While you wanted to wreck absolute vengeance on this man, you also didn't want to hurt Ganyu's feelings more.

Guess you were going down Trauma Lane, then. You sigh, and stomp your feet as you turn around to glare at Xin Cheng, catching his petite form by surprise.

"If I ever see you do this again..." Your eyes narrow. "Believe me when I say it—you will be granted no mercy by any adeptus nor Rex Lapis himself. Now SCRAM!" With that, he was running for the hills. You weren't entirely satisfied, but you'll take it. For now.

What would Happen if Ganyu heard you get insulted? Well, first of all, she would gasp quietly to herself. What was this blasphemy? She's utterly horrified.

Ganyu thinks she might faint once she realizes you were nearby, checking out vendor goods next to where the gossipers were spilling terrible insults of your image.

"Y-Your Grace! Please accept my apology on behalf of the people of Liyue." Will literally run up to you and apologize for them. While she may not be the one who did it, she's still cares about the People of Liyue—and thus her reasoning as to why she's askign for the mercy of the Almighty Creator.

Your puzzled look turns to Ganyu. "Who are you apologizing for?" Ganyu blinks.

"The, uhm—the gossipers..?" You're still confused, until your eyes shine once recognition hits you like Truck-Kun.

"Ohhh, those dudes! Yeah, don't worry about them—they're pretty boring, saying the same thing like a broken record. Say—wanna shop with me? I'm paying, of course."

And that's how you got Ganyu to be more comfortable around you! :D

Bennett

Ah, our unlucky yet optimistic adventurer! This boy—he is good. He's cool, and he's rather awed by most of the kids in Mondstadt.

He was hanging out with Razor and Fischl when someone decides to insult him. this genuinely upsets him—after all, they were insulting his ability and his position in the Adventurer's Guild...

Already, Razor and Fischl were already up to defend him, but what they didn't expect is for the Almighty Creator (aka you) got to it first.

"I beg your pardon," you say through gritted teeth. "How exactly is having a bad luck aura got to do with ANYTHING related to being an adventurer?" You're glaring so many daggers you could practically say you were breaking all the walls. "Perhaps we'll see just how lucky you are when I send you to Dragon Spine and watch your dead corpses FREEZE TO DEATH?"

The insulters were paling the more you went on. Razor and Fischl aren't sure what to do—you're already there, dealing with the situation.

But Bennett? Well uh, like usual, his bad luck got the best of him, and he accidentally stumbles towards you (miraculously). He bumps into you, and you shift your gaze onto him.

"Uh—Sorry, Your Grace! I really didn't mean to bump into you, I swear!" Poor guy is scared because his bad luck affected him at the worst time of all. He thinks he might get killed.

You though? Oh, hell nah. Your gaze already soften, and you decided to show favoritism! You pull the boy into a hug, glaring at the insulters one more time as a warning to scram, before you go back to enjoying giving the boy affection!

But when Bennett hears you get insulted? Well, first of all, screw his bad luck because the insulters were quite literally telling him how bad of a Creator you were!

He immediately tries to avoid getting too deep into the discussion, trying to sway the topic elsewhere to no avail, and he pales when he realizes you were literally a few steps away from them!

And it seems his bad luck gets in the way again, because you just turned right as he was staring at you with shocked eyes!

However, instead of being mad, you were actually beaming when you see him. You wave at Bennett, smiling.

"Bennett! Help me choose some flowers, yeah?"

"Uhm—uh, Sure, Your Grace!"

And that's how the insulters were hiding in their homes for the rest of their lives as you merrily dragged Bennett out of that horrendous conversation.

Nilou

Honestly, do I need to say who decided to insult this amazing dancer?

Yes, it was fricking Azar again. What is up with this crazy old man, nobody knows. Perhaps you should put him in prison for a while until he's gained a sense of appreciation for the Arts. ALL of the Arts.

Apparently, when you had drilled fear into this man, he thought it only applied to flipping Nahida. As much as you love Nahida, you are not going to have Azar twists your words and make it seem like you grant him permission to snark down other people—especially the people of Zubayr Theater.

So when Azar finally decides to have scholars gain the nerve to insult Nilou on behalf of his stupid brain, you (of course) just had to get yourself involved with this.

"Excuse me, but since when did you have the audacity to judge someone else's profession of art, simply because it isn't 'academic' in any way?" You spat. "Where I come from, Art courses are necessary in order to move on in your academic life." When Nilou hears you, she, first of all, is grateful of you stepping up for her, and, second of all, very scared of what might be happening next.

The scholars pale, but they seem to have taken your comment as a debate.

"With all due respect, Your Grace, the Arts are anything but educational—"

"Was I looking for a second opinion, dimwit?" You narrow your eyes. "Besides, have you yourself ever tried the Art of Dancing or the Art of Music before?"

"Well—uhm, no, but—"

"Then shut up, then." The scholars begin to panic as your voice becomes low and dangerous. "You don't have an excuse to be judgmental if you haven't even tried this stuff yourself."

"Ex-Sage Azar told us to say this!" They blurt out, and that only increases your rage. Seeing that things might escalate, Nilou steps in.

"Your Grace, let's not be too harsh!" She exclaims, waving her hands frantically. "I'm sure they understand what they did wrong. There's no need to have them punished." You narrowed your eyes in disagreement, for a half second, Nilou thought she made the situation worse.

But when you sigh heavily, she knew you relented. You glare at the scholars again.

"Tell Azar if he does this again, to ANYONE, I'll cut his head off, and there's no more excuses there. In fact—bring me to him. I'll have a talk with him myself."

Yeah, Azar got traumatized again :)

But when Nilou hears you be insulted? Quite literally behind your back? She thought she was going to faint from the gossiper's comments alone! You being there to listen it to it all only made her feel worse.

She was about to confront them, until she saw other people nearby dealing with the situation. So, Nilou decides to check up and see if you were okay...After all, those comments weren't nice.

She was pretty shocked when she realized you were contemplating over wares instead, completely unbothered by the drama going on behind your back. Nevertheless, she was still going to apologize in case you were just hiding your emotions.

"Uhm, Your Grace—I would like to apologize on behalf of all of Zubayr Theater. We should've done something earlier." You look at her, confused.

"What are you apologizing for, Nilou?" You ask. She blinks.

"Uhm, the gossipers, Your Grace..?" Your eyes widen, before you bark a laugh.

"Oh, those dudes! Yeah—don't worry about them, honestly. Say—help me pick: should I get hot chocolate or tea from this lovely store?"

Let's just say you had a fun time hanging out with Nilou for the rest of the afternoon :)

AND THAT'S IT! WE ARE DONE! I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING INACTIVE AND TAKING 30+ YEARS TO FINISH THIS, BUT IT'S HERE! :D I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED IT!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: To anyone who's waiting for The Lost Shining God of Celestia, yes I have been writing on it. However, due to personal life problems and other IRL circumstances, it's taking a little longer than expected. I am sorry, everyone!

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[elklounge]

Werewolf Lore Book found in The Quarry Game

Okay, where do I start? A few days ago I was playing The Quarry and trying to get screenshots of Travis. However, while in the Hackett House, I saw this book. I was curious if it said anything. Part of me wondered if it was just gibberish since the player can't really see it and it would just be for dressing the set and making the room look full. However, as I squinted I realized it said Curse of the Moonlight. I began to try multiple different methods to read the two pages of text. I couldn't find it in the game files and searching book didn't get me anywhere. However after some clipping and eye strain through using my glasses as a magnifying glass. Maybe this has already been discovered if so that's okay. I still just wanted to point this out. I am unsure which character was reading this. I want to say Chris Hackett since there are cigarettes present and the only other time I've seen them is in Chris' office as he smokes.

The text reads as the following:

Before the creation of the curse more than 23,000 years ago, the people of the old town, recognized the presence of an evil spirit, which successfully escaped from hell, broke all the spells which imprisoned it since the initial establishment of the Earth. Mankind had been struggling to fight and hopelessly defend themselves before the cruelty and the brutal behaviour of the beast. Finally, through all the tears and bloods, prayers and desperation, mankind lost to the creature and vanished. However, becasue of the vital impact and the destructive damage the conflict resulted, the Mother of Nature abandoned it from the ground, kept it in captivity under thousands of earth layers, for million of years.

The curse is supposed to be timeless. But unfortunately, some unconscious individuals summoned the beast with a deadly ancient magics and spells. Following the guide of the devils, they were forced to wake the monster from the deepest place that the humanity may ever know. Hence, every night when the moon shines the brightest, it will rise and hunt for human lives, as many as he can find, as much as he can fulfill the hunger through so many years, just until the sun rises to the fullest. And that became the story, which is then conveyed and spreaded from ears to ears, about this enigmatic forest.

Once upon a time, there was one said every journey is always full of unexpectancies and moreover, inevitable incidences. Stories have been told through centuries and decades, from villages to towns, from the elder to the youth. But not as the generations pass by or as the time fades, the curse has never been once broken. Whenever the reading is started, the moon will shine and the untamed creature will be released from your worst nightmare. Danger is triggered. And death follows.

Now, one is here in this place, reading these ambiguous is and wondering about everything. But he did not even noticed the wind has begun to blow harder and colder. The surroundings are frozen, not because of the weather, but due to one thing which is coming for the thirst of blood. The shelter is no longer a place to settle. It is now a deadly hunting area, dangerous obstacles, damaged constructions and mysterious blood stains.

In every step he takes, the traces will stay to wait for the beast. Like the last footprint he left during the last moment of his life. His scream will not be heard and his prayers will not be granted. He may survive but the terrified soul will last forever. His curiosity was the cause of the unfortunate event. And now he has to pay the bloody price and no savior would come to rescue.

Every moment he has now is priceless and vital. His life and the journey of survival depends on how he uses his last breaths. Which means now is the time that he needs to start to run.

My most insane attempt to read it which got me 2/3s of the way down the first page.

[bigtittiecomitte]

What are your thoughts on this video?? This was recommend to me and I watched it and I didn't really care for it..maybe it's just me but it feels like this person seems more salty about V not getting together with N instead of giving actually criticisms of why he didn't like the finale, in fact I've seen most people act act this way when it comes to the finale..it's been mixed since it released and more people have lately been finding reasons to find Nuzi *Problematic* and a bad ship with saying the whole N is dating is "sister" (Cyn) because of Uzi and the solver being in one together in the same body even though that's NOT the case!! Idk, part of the reasons I was never able to fully ship Envy was because of some of the toxic fans and V fans and how they treated Uzi as a character..even after the finale Uzi is still getting undeserved mistreatment and hate and it's truly unfortunate. People need to see and realize that although Nuzi is canon people are still allowed to ship whatever they want canon or not, and just because Nuzi is canon doesn't mean anybody can be a dick and jackass. People also shouldn't be sending threats to Liam and Glitch because of the finale, yes the finale was flawed but that doesn't make it okay to to doxx or hass the studio or creator, MD is Liam's show and he should allowed to do whatever he wants with this show, I've said this in my own post but I think many in this fandom truly took this show for granted and didn't really deserve it..although I'm grateful for Murder Drones and will forever cherish it as it's my comfort show, this fandom is truly a mess and I know that's all fandoms..but the MD community is just so toxic and I wished it was a much better and healthier fanbase. :(

https://youtu.be/mQ5xnKYHGoc?si=6bSwQpiPV10beX-b

I saw the video and holy fuck Media Literacy is DEAD

I’m all for hearing people’s opinions but it really does piss me off when people just start saying crap without properly understanding the characters they’re talking about

For anybody not wanting to check out the video, basically the guy is saying that N and V should’ve gotten together and N and Uzi should’ve just stayed friends or even have a “sibling dynamic” (pretty much stuff we’ve already heard before lol). The issue is that if you have been watching the show with your two eyes you would know that N and V getting together in the end would actually be WORSE for N and V

N and V’s relationship is very catered to the past, present and future. In the past, N and V had a thing for each other in the manor (maybe even dated) then we have the present where N and V are now genocidal robots with the intent of killing worker drones for oil. N still has a crush on V prior to meeting Uzi while V tries to protect her and N by continuing on their path of death due to her trauma of Cyn and everything that happened in the manor, she tries pretending to forget his name and hides secrets from him, which makes him upset and lash out on her. Then we cut to the future, N and V are now friends and living in the bunker with the rest of the worker drones, they’re healing but they’re doing alright now that there’s finally no hiding secrets from one another

The problem with a lot of people complaining that Envy should have been canon instead is the fact that their entire relationship throughout Murder Drones is all about moving on and the fact that not all romantic relationships end with them being happy together. N and V could never have what they had in the manor again because not only have they moved on from each other but they’re also building up their platonic relationship brick by brick. N and V were never proper friends and never got the chance to rekindle until Uzi came along, which another thing I want to talk about

I see so many people hating on Uzi for being the reason as to why N and V didn’t become endgame but if it wasn’t for Uzi. N and V would’ve never ended up where they are today like if they never met Uzi then they would just end up killing all the worker drones and dying after all the oil is gone, N and V wouldn’t even get to rekindle their relationship because it would be stuck to how it was before Uzi came along. The reason as to why Nuzi became endgame and not Envy wasn’t because Liam favoured one ship than the other but because N and Uzi were actually communicating. They were friends and understood each other’s trauma and feelings, which is what made them work. N and V didn’t have that until N lashed out on her and she got her character growth

The only part I can somewhat agree with is that we should have seen V apologise to the real N (she did apologise but it was to a fake N instead) but I’m at least happy that real N was there to know that she was being sincere with her words. They’re all traumatised characters, none of them deserved what they went through

He says that Uzi should’ve stopped having a crush on N which leads to N and V getting together and I just full on stopped the video because how are you seeing the interactions between N and Uzi and thinking that Uzi should have just stopped having a crush on him when N’s feelings for her were also the same, them not being canon would have actually made no sense because of all the moments we had got of them, hell even them implied to be dating in Episode 7 lol. N and V getting together in the end would have been way more rushed than the ship of what some envy shippers actually claim to be rushed

Not only that but him calling V “jealous” of N and Uzi being in love because apparently that’s what she wanted with N, like hell did V tell you that? She’s happy for them even if she doesn’t look like it (I mean I don’t like seeing couples in public either lol)

Nuzi being canon doesn’t mean you have to stop shipping other ships that you find better and it’s totally ok to be disappointed that Envy wasn’t the main ship. But it doesn’t give people the right to just make fake screenshots of Liam’s twitter and blaming Nuzi shippers for the reason as to why Nuzi became canon (apparently we all did a meeting and pay for Nuzi to be canon lmao). Remember that fanfiction and fanart exist my dudes, support your local AU’s too

Basically Envy is a very tragic ship and it was always written that way and guys please stop mischaracterising V it hurts

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Inheritance

Summary: Rhaenys goes into the mountain in search of her Meleys and finds Daemon already there. The cousin she loves and hates in equal measure. Their conversation touches on dragons moving through the family, war, and people long since lost

Rhaenys and Daemon are a set of characters whose relationship has really intrigued me from the beginning and I've been wanting to write fic about them for a while now! Here's a small attempt at exploring part of their long history with one another, about 3000 words :)

She had to venture deeper into the tunnel than she had expected. On and on, into the pressing darkness beneath Dragonstone. She could feel the weight of the rocks above even as the tunnel was large enough for a dragon to pass through it. The air was warm, and unlike in other caves the temperature grew higher the further down she came.

The dragon keepers could have brought Meleys to her, yet Rhaenys had not called for it. She had taken a torch and gone into the caves. Wanting to do it. Wanting the distraction, the thrill of the darkness. There was so much to think about that simply disappeared down there. That didn’t matter anymore as she was surrounded by the stone and the strange heat.

Around a twist in the tunnel she saw the warm gleam of fire and immediately took a step to stand against the wall. If the dragon making that fire was to come her way she would not have much to put against it. Meleys would not breathe fire her way, she knew her scent from far away. It was another dragon, currently laying claim to Meleys’ favourite cave.

Though as she waited there, waited for whatever dragon it was, she realised the sound accompanying the light was not a deafening roar, but calm breaths. Nor did the light ever fade. It was not dragon fire.

And so Rhaenys pushed forward with her own torch in hand. No sooner has she reached the turn before she saw the source of the warm light. She also saw the dragon beyond. 

Daemon sat on the floor, leaning back against the wall of the cave. Meleys was beyond him, seemingly asleep. Her large figure did not move apart from her slow breathing. A magnificent beast she was, her Meleys. Crimson like blood and crowned with sharp spikes.

”This one is not yours, Cousin” Rhaenys said. ”Not once have I ever found Caraxes here.”

Daemon must have heard her before that, her steps had echoed as she walked, though only then did he turn his head to look at her. 

He looked tired, weary. But then who among them was not?

”I know where to find my dragon” he responded. 

”Then how come you are in the presence of mine?”

Meleys had grown lazy in the years past, though like every dragon she was not without aggression. Why did she allow Daemon in her lair while she was vulnerable and asleep?

Meleys had stirred at the sound of Rhaenys’ voice, opened her eyes and lifted her head slightly. Apart from that she did not move. 

”Do you think I mean to steal her?”

The dry amusement in Daemon’s voice would never grow any less irritating. It had always been the same with him. Always.

Rhaenys passed him without another word, approaching her dragon instead. Her beautiful Meleys. The one she had come down into the earth for.

She was careful not to burn Meleys with her torch, held it as far away from her as possible as she put her hand against her scales below her left eye. Looked into the large amber eye, met the gaze of her dragon. There was fire in that gaze, soft fire.

Never did she know peace as with Meleys. Never did she feel whole as with Meleys. No one else granted her that. Perhaps the children had brought her that, once. Though her children were dead and she could not know anymore. She knew only Meleys.

”It’s fitting” Daemon said behind her.

She had a feeling of that she would have to humour him with an answer or he would keep at it until she did.

”What is?” she asked, holding Meleys’ gaze.

She was warm under her hand. Warm as only a dragon could be. Wondrously so. And Rhaenys felt the vibrations of her rumbling breaths.

”That yours should be the Red Queen.”

There had been a time in her life when some foolish part of her had believed they would be queens together. The Queen of Westeros and the Red Queen. Though in the end only one of them was queen, and her cousin was gloating.

”And you ride the Blood Wyrm.”

Daemon only snorted at that. 

”It is a wonder she accepted your presence” Rhaenys continued, unable to help herself. 

Meleys had again closed her eyes, though remained with her head so that Rhaenys could stand with her hand on her.

”You forget yourself, I rode her long before you did.”

Rhaenys remembered that, and had heard the story afterwards many times. Her Aunt Alyssa had put Daemon in swaddling clothes and taken him into the sky on Meleys when he was mere days old. She had done the same with Viserys, though then Rhaenys had not been old enough to remember it even as surely her father had muttered about it.

”And I rode Caraxes.”

While she had not been as young as when he rode Meleys her father had taken her into the sky on Caraxes. She remembered that fondly. Remembered the thrill of her first flight and her father’s smile. And then Father had died and Caraxes had taken Daemon for his rider. Daemon, the very opposite of Aemon.

Rhaenys would have liked to hold both of her palms to Meleys. Would have liked to have her entire body to Meleys, embrace her as well as she could. And so she backed away a few steps, carefully set her torch down on the ground and then did what she had wished to do. 

”They say we claim the dragons, it is not the truth” Rhaenys mumbled, her cheek against Meleys. ”The dragons claim us.”

The dragons were their own. Most of them were under Targaryen control, though they were also very much their own. 

”Did you not choose Meleys?”

”I could not have done it if she had not chosen me. And so I wonder why my father’s dragon chose you.”

What in Daemon was it that had drawn Caraxes to him? Why had their souls bonded?

”Then am I allowed to ask the same question? Why did my mother’s dragon choose you?”

Alyssa Targaryen had not been too different from Rhaenys. She remembered Aunt Alyssa, did not think herself so very unlike her. It was not the same with Aemon and Daemon. Daemon had a rage in him that had never been there in her father.

”Why did my father’s dragon choose Laena?” Daemon went on, his voice rising as anger crept into it. ”Why did Laena’s dragon choose Aemond?”

Why had Laena’s dragon chosen Aemond? Why was it, that should it ever come to fighting between dragons, Rhaenys would have to stand against her daughter’s beloved Vhagar? How happy Laena had been to claim Vhagar. In her final moments it had been Vhagar she went to. And now it was Aemond that rode Vhagar.

”Vhagar was once Visenya’s dragon” was all Rhaenys could say. ”She’s a war dragon. She favours warriors.”

There had been a warrior’s spirit in Laena, even as she was a woman. Corlys would tell Rhaenys that she had given their daughter a dragon rider’s heart. That had always made her laugh, until suddenly they had found themselves gazing upon Laena’s burned remains. Then Corlys had never again mentioned it and the laughter had died.

”Aemond is no warrior! He’s a boy, a pretender that has not known true battle. And a cunt, at that.”

Rhaenys could not claim to know him. Viserys’ sons were all more or less unknown to her. King’s Landing had long since ceased to be the place she called home when they were born, and she had had little interest in them. And rarely had her family come to visit High Tide. Though Aemond’s skill with a sword was well known, she had heard of it. Death he had certainly brought.

”Aemond killed Luke” she reminded him.

Luke had not been her grandson, not in blood. There had been nothing of Leanor in that boy, just as there was nothing of Leanor in Jace and Joffrey. Though he had been raised as her grandson, he had been Corlys’ heir. Lucerys Velaryon, dead long before his time. A boy, sent on a peaceful mission. The poor thing.

”Not by sword, by dragon.”

Had it been by sword then at least there would have been a body to burn. Perhaps Arrax would have lived. Rhaenyra could have remained in Dragonstone instead of going on a pointless search for the lost boy. There was nothing left of him, Rhaenys was certain of it. Nothing left of his dragon, either.

”How many have you not killed with Caraxes rather than Dark Sister?” she had to ask. ”I heard that in the fighting over the Stepstones many perished in his fires.”

”And you mean to equal that with the murder of Luke?”

It was as if he misunderstood her on purpose merely to fight. Perhaps he did. It was hard to say with Daemon Targaryen.

Rhaenys left her dragon’s side, took up the torch that had remained burning, and then went to sit by Daemon. It was no comfortable resting place, the floor of the cave. A chamber not dug by human means. Though there she would sit all the same.

”The murder of Luke disgusts me, I’m beyond sickened by it” she ensured him, looking at him for the first time since their conversation began. ”I meant to ask if you take responsibility for those deaths, or if it was Caraxes that killed them?”

Had Aemond killed Luke? Had Vhagar killed Luke? Did it matter or was it all the death of a young boy? A death that could plunge the entire realm into war?

Daemon did not look back at her. He leaned his head back against the cave wall, stared at Meleys.

”Was it you who killed all the peasants when you fled King’s Landing, Cousin? Or Meleys?”

Those deaths had not been by dragon fire. They had been unfortunate casualties when Meleys crashed through the floor.

”You cannot answer my question with a question.”

”I can do whatever I like.”

There was silence then. Or, rather, it would have been silent if it had not been for Meleys’ rumbling breaths. Rhaenys could feel the vibrations even as she no longer touched the dragon. So powerful was her presence.

”That is not the truth” Rhaenys eventually said. ”You are not the king. You believe Dark Sister and Caraxes mean you answer to no one, though you do answer to Rhaenyra.”

Some men believed themselves to be above others. Most men believed themselves to be above their wives. Daemon’s wife was the queen, and he was no king. Merely a consort. How it had to burn in him, how he must have resented that Rhaenyra had been chosen over him.

”Rhaenyra is not here.”

”I know. And so you must follow the instructions already given to you.”

The dragons were only part of their power. The dragons would not be what resolved the conflict. The dragons would be their ruin.

”If you and I were to fly to King’s Landing we could—”

”We could kill Vhagar. Or we could fail in our attempt to kill the largest dragon alive, and so bring dragons into the war for nothing.”

She was tired of speaking of that. He had brought it up time and time again. Always Vhagar. Never Helaena’s Dreamfyre or Aegon’s Sunfyre. Never the small dragons of Aegon’s children. Never Daeron’s Tessarion, the Blue Queen to Meleys’ Red Queen. 

Daemon would not say anything to that, and so Rhaenys pushed forward.

”There are other dragons in King’s Landing. Dreamfyre, like Vhagar, is older and larger than both Meleys and Caraxes. Sunfyre may be young, though he is large for his age and his rider is reckless and dangerous. And while Daeron may not be in King’s Landing he also has a dragon of fighting size.”

Continued silence from her cousin.

”I have no wish to die. I also have no wish to unleash our dragons upon the realm because then the destruction of it will be set in stone and history will be written with our blood.”

She saw how Daemon’s fist tightened around his torch, saw his knuckles whiten.

”Vhagar must die” he insisted. ”Because we cannot move on King’s Landing as long as the old bitch is guarding it!”

He sounded strained, as if he had to force out the words.

”Or because she was Laena’s?”

Because he had ridden Caraxes while Laena had ridden Vhagar and now Vhagar belonged to Aemond instead? Because the dragon, incapable of understanding it, had betrayed them? 

“Because she’s a living reminder of my daughter? Believe me, Cousin, I have mourned Laena. I have mourned her more than you have, more than you ever will."

There was an anger in her suddenly that she had not known would be there. It did not burn, no, the fire had died out years ago. It was a cool anger.

Laena had died trying to birth Daemon’s child. She had died to bring forth life for him. In a city so far away from her home, so far away from her family, she had perished. And then barely had her body cooled before Laenor was also dead and Daemon was wed to Rhaenyra. 

“I watched you walk over the corpses of my children– oh, do not deny it!”

He had opened his mouth as if to speak, she could not listen to it then. Whatever he had to say would not be good enough. It would only serve to anger her further.

“I watched you walk over the corpses of my children for Viserys’ girl” she began again, careful to keep her voice down. “I hated you for it. Part of me still does. So do not disregard Rhaenyra now when she needs you, do what she asks of you. Do not make me believe it was all for nothing. Because gods help you if I should ever get the notion that it was.” 

Her children dead for nothing. Pointless deaths. Disrespected days after having been laid to rest. And for what? For Daemon to place their grandsire’s crown on Rhaenyra’s head with his own two hands and then not follow her orders? For him to try to take the power of that crown for himself?

”I had nothing to do with Laenor’s death” Daemon scoffed.

Not in a way that they could prove.

”You wed his widow before his body was cold.”

His body, almost as badly burned as that of his sister. Rhaenys had not been allowed to so much as look at their faces before they were placed in their coffins and pushed into the water. There had been no features to look down upon.

”Rhaenys.”

The use of her name came as a surprise. When had she last been ’Rhaenys’ to him? When had she not been ’cousin’? Had she ever been anything but that? Not that she could remember.

”Daemon.”

”You and I are all that remain of our generation now that Viserys is dead. Aemma died years ago. There were only four of us, now it is the two of us.”

When she entered the cave she would have laughed at the mere thought of Daemon beginning to reminiscence about their generation. 

”We do have at least three bastard cousins across the Narrow Sea” she reminded him. ”Courtesy of our Aunt Saera.” 

Did she live still, Aunt Saera? Surely not.

Daemon gave a wry smile at that and she felt how she herself followed suit. Even as the anger still simmered in her she smiled. 

”Maybe we should pay them a visit” he suggested. ”Our dear grandsire is long since dead, after all. Who is he to keep us from it?”

As long as Jaehaerys had lived no one had been allowed to speak of Saera. Not within hearing of him. Not within hearing of anyone that could tell him of it. 

”Vermithor is without rider. Perhaps he’ll claim one of them.”

To keep with the dragon tradition of choosing a new rider that would make the previous one start rolling in their grave.

Daemon laughed then. And Rhaenys laughed. She laughed and hated herself for how good it felt to laugh.

Daemon. The cousin she had loved and hated in equal measure. The only one of her true cousins that remained.

”Would you take pleasure in knowing it would have driven Jaehaerys mad to have one of Saera’s bastards ride his Vermithor?” Daemon asked once the laughter had died down a little.

”Had you asked me just after Harrenhal I would have said yes” she confessed.

Though not anymore. Some small offence remained, though not enough for it to be significant. The throne had passed her by and she had learned not to think of it. Corlys pondered it far more than she did. Though just after Viserys had been named Jaehaerys’ heir the indignation had been complete. That the question had been raised in the first place had been an insult.

”Though not anymore?”

”No, not anymore.”

She did not know if that was something he could understand. If he would have survived the slight the way she had. Viserys might have, though there was hotter blood in his brother. They had been different as night and day, Viserys the Peaceful and The Rogue Prince.

Rhaenys' torch would burn out soon. Daemon’s was dying. She had found Meleys, she had been given what she wanted. There was a world outside she needed to return to, a bright and airy world full of concerns that would weigh down her spirit once more. 

”I shall be leaving now” she announced as she began pushing herself up using the wall behind her.

When she stood upright Daemon still had yet to move.

”I’ll stay” he said when she looked at him. ”You interrupted me in my thinking.”

”You’ll be left in darkness soon.”

”I find my way around down here."

For some reason she did not doubt him.

”Good day, then.”

Rhaenys had reached the entrance to the cave when she realised there was a point she had to emphasise. One that might have been lost in their shared laughter.

”I did mean it” she said, turning to face him again.

”What?”

”That if you walk against Rhaenyra after what became of my children I will bring you a fate much worse than dragon fire when we meet again.”

She had not yet decided what that fate would be, though she believed it would come to her if needed. Inspiration would strike when it was necessary. She hoped it would never go so far, she hoped Daemon would for once fully serve someone that was not himself.

And with that she turned her back to him. To Meleys. And began making her way back through the tunnel.

[spacelazarwolf]

I mean this in genuine good faith and am asking because my family isn't historically Ashkenazi but has been operating as such since they left France/French Rite died out. How do you go about keeping an Italian rite when afaik there isn't an Italian rite shul outside of Italy and Israel? I'm learning judeo-french and uncovering family legacy via really old siddurim but as far as anyone can tell me I cannot be Zarphatic without a community. Since there is obviously no community anymore, I am told I have to pick a dominant rite instead. Do you do this for shul and then privately do something else? Is there an option I'm missing? I am based in Europe, so idk if that's part of it. I was just curious seeing that you're posting about being a USAm and also italki. I know it's a different situation because there are no french rite shuls outside of some that are influenced (interestingly especially in parts of Italy)!

this is a good question!

i am not as familiar with how jewish communities function in europe, or how your specific community functions, so i can only speak from my own perspective as an american in a primarily ashkenazi community.

you are correct that there are no synagogues that follow the italian rite outside of italy and israel. italki jews make up only about 0.3% of the global jewish population, and our population is pretty evenly split between italy and israel. i don't know of any other italki jews in my area, or at least any that are practicing.

i am very lucky in that my synagogue is already pretty multicultural, as one of our founding rabbis is sephardic, so we don't really follow one specific rite. we have our own siddur that incorporates ashkenazi and sephardi traditions, as well as a bit of our own personal flair. you will often hear things like "please rise or stay seated, according to your tradition" during services. because of this flexibility, it's pretty easy for me to infuse my personal practice into my communal practice.

some of the ways i've been able to incorporate my own rite in shul is to use italian hebrew pronunciation white reciting prayers. it's easy and most people don't even notice i do it. i'm not sure if there's a french equivalent. i'm also planning on teaching our friday night regulars the italian rite kiddush (which is much easier than the ashkenazi one because the cantor/leader does most of the work lmao) and incorporating some italian jewish music into our services. i also have a few projects in the works, including planning an italki seder as well as a weekend/shabbat program where our friday evening, saturday morning, and havdalah services will all be in the italian rite, feature italian jewish music, italian jewish traditions, etc. and of course accompanied by italian jewish food.

granted, this is all pretty easy for me to do, not just because of the diversity of my synagogue, but also because they're chill as fuck. if your synagogue is not as chill and you don't want to/don't have the option to find a different one, you will likely need to follow whichever rite your synagogue does at shul, and your own at home. obviously this is not ideal, but learning about french jewish music, judeo-french, french jewish history and traditions, etc. and incorporating as much as you can into your personal practice will still be very rewarding.

in terms of how you identify, literally do whatever you want forever. i don't know much about french jews and how they identify, but if you want to identify yourself in a particular way regarding being a french jew, you should have the autonomy to do that. people might not like or understand it, and that's ok because it's not their life. others will be very fascinated and excited to hear about traditions they may have never heard of before, and for me those are the best moments.

[positivelybeastly]

X-Men #5

Late, but who cares? Let's go.

So, I've made no secret that I thought Kwannon wasn't really being given enough to do, these last few issues of X-Men, and it's for the same reason I'm happy to see Greycrow here - Zeb Wells' Hellions was amazing. It was one of the few Krakoa era titles that actually bothered to examine the moral double standards of the era, that really took advantage of its unique status quo, that looked at mutant resurrection and thought, okay, how can we mine this, not for obscure background cameos that will make a person on Twitter happy, but for actual drama? It was a truly great series, and I was hoping it would be followed up, if only in small ways.

I do like that Kwannon and John have a cabin together. With how they left off, it felt very personal and intimate between them, like they truly didn't need anything else to be content with one another, and neither of them struck me as people who need action to be fulfilled - or, rather, they don't see action as a means for enjoyment. As Kwannon says here, it merely gives them purpose. So far, so good.

Wasn't expecting an Amelia Voght callback, of all characters. Then again, this is a Jed MacKay joint.

Psychics and death, name a more iconic X-Men duo.

It is interesting that we get kinda sort of confirmation that Quentin remembers being a head, since I would've figured that the Cerebro cradles were down and he'd have lost those memories, but I suppose it's also possible he could have just heard about it second-hand and been like, wow, I got turned into a head in a box? Weird.

Yeah, no, you don't get to call Scott Slim, Quentin. Only Hank, Bobby or Warren get to do that. And Jean, if she's feeling quirky.

Can I also say something? I actually dig Quentin's fit? I don't know if that says something about my fashion sense or what, but I actually like this look for him more than . . . pretty much any other look he's had. Granted, that's not saying much, given his other uniforms were black blazer with t-shirt, the 60s retro-futuristic mutant fascist attire, or the bland melange that was his X-Force uniform, but I do actually like it. Purple and checker pattern work.

So, this whole issue is an homage to New X-Men #121, which was part of Marvel's Nuff Said initiative, and it, along with all the other issues published that month, had pretty much no dialogue in it, it was all told purely through art. It's not a direct homage, of course, since dialogue is happening, but I appreciate the lampshade being hung on it here, with Quentin both pointing out that this isn't like the other homage, and then not-so-subtly pointing out why it isn't like them.

Because Quentin can't shut the fuck up.

Honestly, that's a fun spin on it. That's how you iterate on something you've seen before.

I'm a sucker for mental landscapes. Always have been, always will. I just like getting to grapple with a character's psyche in a tangible way, it's why I like series like Silent Hill or Star Trek's many telepathic episodes. And if I had to break down why I like them?

Well.

Pretty much.

You really could've just called this New X-Men volume 3, Jed, and I don't think anyone would've objected. That being said - I couldn't have given less of a shit what happened in Marauders volume 2, so seeing that Cassandra Nova is back and wasn't consigned to the dustbin because of that series is a win in my book. She's a top tier villain, tbh, one of the best new X-villains of the last 20 years, and her particular incisive methodology for breaking down heroes' psyches feels like it's perfectly suited for the team of this book.

As she demonstrates.

Ahhhh, good foreshadowing earlier, good stuff. And I have to say, Stegman's Sabretooth is fucking top tier. Excellent rendition of the big man himself (whom I already miss, even if he does have a miniseries coming up very soon).

This is a great sequence, tbh. Like, poor Quentin - this is actually the most anyone has made me feel for Quentin since Aaron, about ten years ago - but in terms of threat and character exposition, it's very good, with some excellent art and very Nova-esque deconstruction. I also particularly like this panel composition.

His head is in a smaller panel. His head is literally in a box.

Good stuff, tbh. Again, this is the most useful Quentin feels like he's been in a while, because if he did anything of real worth in X-Force other than die, I'll freely admit that I do not remember it.

Hank, Scott, do you . . . wanna get them some paper towels, or . . ?

Overall, not a bad issue - definitely not as memorable as the original psychic rescue, though.

Now, originally, I was gonna say, you can't hold that against it, it's not easy to match Morrison, that's just common sense, but then again, most writers don't directly invite the comparison, so, I really hope Jed is cooking up something long term and satisfying, because constantly referencing Morrison is all fine and dandy, but it needs to go somewhere.

Still, I'd say the title has been squarely good thus far, and it still has room to get better and better, so I'm gonna give it time to breathe.

Also?

Our expert panel of judges have concluded that Hank McCoy once again wins the title of Original X-Man with the Dumpiest of Dump Truck Asses. Thanks for trying, Scott, but, uh. Your nickname is Slim for a reason.

Conner, you and I are gonna fight.

Damn right. It's not Hank's fault comics readers don't read anything from before 2010 . . .

[sunnimint]

The Super Sonic × Reaper Metal AU refuses to leave my mind. So, I'm going to word vomit.

For reference, the S!Sonic × R!Metal AU is now officially named the Golden Grim AU. Here's some background info on how it all started!

Before we get into it, I want to emphasize that the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald in this AU are somewhat sentient- that’s what changes everything.

When I say Sonic goes super for the first time and couldn't change back, I really mean it. Following the events in StH 2, Sonic stays in his super form, the Chaos Emeralds refusing to part with a perfect vessel. This means the only people who have met and known Sonic as a blue hedgehog is everyone who was already introduced before StH 2's release. I'm taking some liberties, since I've heard that Sonic CD takes place before StH 2 (possibly canon?), meaning Amy and Metal have met Sonic first in his regular blue hedgieness. This means that Sonic didn't turn Super in Sonic CD too.

Super Sonic is, at first, very ecstatic to have godlike powers. He doesn’t mind not turning back, not at the beginning. Therefore, at this stage, S!Sonic is content to be running/flying around as a golden hedgehog with unlimited strength. The world is at S!Sonic’s fingertips, and he brings Tails with him wherever he goes. Tails, whose admiration for Sonic grows tenfold because of his super form. People around the world have taken notice of a powerful golden hedgehog. This marks the beginning of S!Sonic’s religion.

Following the events of StH 2, Eggman crash lands onto Angel Island, but the whole shtick in StH 3 & Knuckles is different. Knuckles, upon meeting Super Sonic (who even after he punches, still remains in his Super form) relates S!Sonic to the mural in the Hidden Palace. Thus, a rivalry is not formed and Knuckles struggles to keep believing Eggman because Knuckles believes S!Sonic is a supposed chosen one/a prophet/divine being. Eggman is therefore forced to leave but concocts a plan for the Master Emerald in order to replicate Sonic’s power.

With Knuckles trying to become S!Sonic’s servant/get 'guidance' from S!Sonic, he is distracted enough to not notice Eggman once again back on Angel Island. Alone with the Master Emerald and having brought Metal back from Little Planet, Eggman has Metal use the Master Emerald in hopes that he will become super like Sonic.

The Master Emerald, however, does NOT like to be used by anyone it deems as unworthy. Eggman is unworthy. Metal, who wants nothing more than to destroy Sonic, is also deemed unworthy. The Master Emerald punishes them both, granting them their wishes but at a cost.

Reaper Metal is born but his origin is a tragic one. Upon his new form, R!Metal is content to have a power that rivals S!Sonic but the feeling is short lived when he notices his surroundings. Everything in R!Metal’s vicinity is, essentially, lifeless and dark. Eggman, who was next to Metal, is nowhere in sight. There are no animals or insects chirping in the background. Everything has gone silent around R!Metal. The Master Emerald has made R!Metal a personification of death, destined to be alone with no one’s company but S!Sonic, his loathsome copy.

The Master Emerald also, as punishment, gave empathy to R!Metal. R!Metal can feel the life being snuffed out of every being that comes close to him.

[marshmallowprotection]

I've been meaning to ask: there's a call on day 3 (?) i think, of Saeran's AE and the option is "i remember how i used to starve", what does he answer if you pick that option? I've never wanted to say that to him but i also want to know ;;

Okay. This is specifically an outgoing call you can get on the second day right after Jumin wakes up from the Elixir Gas. I'm going to give you the answer to every option the game gives you because I don't think I've seen anybody share the answers before in any threads online. You can tell him... four different answers to his question. This is what it will look like in your call history once you have it.

I'm putting everything under a cut because there's a lot of images.

Saeran is speaking to you for the first time since you were dropped off at V's house in the mountains, and he wants to ease your fears. Granted, I do think he's trying to ease his own fears, too. Reminiscing seems to be the best way to do that in his mind at that point. "This is the first time that... we've been separated since Magenta, isn't it?"

So, you can respond to him in four ways. Here are the options that you can choose from at that very moment. Most people... do not click the one that talks about starvation. Personally, the first one I clicked on my first walkthrough, of course, to take my breadcrumbs for Ray. But! I have the answers to all four!

Do y'all want me to say as much as I'm thinking about Ray when we've already heard it a billion times since he first appeared in the game from me? Probably, why else would you be here? It is appealing to me GE Saeran is capable of pointing out that Ray and Suit Saeran both are trapped in cages, though. Now that's what I call growth and reflection.

The two of them and their experiences cultivated who he is as a person and understanding them both at a core level shows a lot of perspective into how he feels about those two. He carries their love, mistakes, fears, hopes, dreams, nightmares, and everything in between.

So these little comments as few as they are in this DLC, are the breadcrumbs you want to see.

In this statement, it is the reflection that stands out to me. It is a fact that he is able to understand what went wrong back then. How Suit Saeran thought he was doing what he needed to do to be strong and have the things he wanted, and how those things were not the same as what he intended.

He understands strength does not come from anger and animosity. True strength comes from devoting yourself to the right thing not because you know it gives you a reward, but because it was the right thing to do.

In contrast to the starvation comment, you can tell him you warmly remember all of the food Ray made during that time. Ray put a lot of thought and care into making sure that you were able to have something delicious.

In fact, if you've ever read his diary, you would very well know how long he spent trying to learn different recipes since they are outlined in the diary itself. I don't know, I prefer this more if only because it shows his devotion and care toward you.

Yeah. I don't know what I expected from the "I remember how I used to starve." option, but it crushed me emotionally. Not only does it do the worst in reminding him how he used to have food withheld from him as a child, but it also brings the guilt of knowing that even if you did forgive him for what happened with Suit Saeran, he still isn't able to forgive himself yet. It's proof that GE Saeran wants to be better at every chance if you wish to have him in your life.

He'll fight to be a better man every day.

[halojalex]

Lets hear that essay

oh man i kind of wasn’t expecting to get any replies to this LMAO bUt here we go. strap urselves in this is gonna be a long one

i won’t share the whole document i wrote bc it’s really long and i go off on a lot of tangents but here’s the general idea

for starters, i believe g&c is absolutely about jalex. we already know it's about a gay couple, so with this in mind, alex telling jack that it's about him is enough to at least consider what that means. granted, i know many believe that he was joking, but i've always thought his tone and general demeanour seemed far too sincere for him to be joking; we've seen how alex acts when he jokes around with jack, and this was different.

furthermore, it's also worth pointing out that jack and alex specifically wrote this one song on their own in a cabin (?) away from everyone else; i know this may not seem important on its own, but it's always worth keeping in mind. ie why would two friends go off to write a song about a queer relationship on their own?

adding onto this, there was that interview with kerrang where alex talked about wake up sunshine as a whole and how it’s about discovering yourself and coming to terms with who you are (i’m paraphrasing but that’s the general idea), so to have a song about a gay couple on an album that’s all about alex discovering who he is seems to me like he wrote it from personal experience.

secondly, i feel like it's important to note that, while jack and alex have always been closer than the average friendship, always bordering on acting like a couple, this closeness was especially apparent during the time that alex was separated from lisa and was living with/near jack. people have commented before on how 'dependent' they were on each other back then, so it's clear that the bond between them was especially strong at that time. of course, i'm sure many will say that it could've been bc alex needed jack's support/bc he was living close by so spent more time with him/whatever, however i feel like there's more to it than that, given all the other reasons. i think they were more than friends.

i'd also like to bring people's attention to one particular incident - that photo of them spooning on a beach. frankly, i've always been a little surprised that so many people have skipped over this without blinking, bc that photo to me has always seemed so intimate and domestic, i find it really hard to believe that many friends would casually sit like that.

and of course how can i forget to mention alex's bday post for jack in 2021? that caption haunts me. "what's there to say that isn't already tremendously obvious? you're a bright light in this weird world my dude. love you times a million" how does that not scream a bday post for a partner? "love you times a million"??? bye they ruin me. all of it just seems so,,, romantic?? idk but i feel like if my closest friend wrote something like that about me i'd find it just a little too much. but maybe that's just me. but also i've seen/heard people say that that caption sounded a lot like something they would write/have written for their partner so,,,,,,, make of that what you will.

ofc honourable mention of the time they went to a gay bar together and karaoke. i realise it’s only from word of mouth that we know that it was a gay bar, but it seems a well-enough-known fact that i feel like i should include it.

i’m sure there’s more i could say, it’s just hard to keep track of everything, especially without making this ten pages long. but another thing i believe is that jack has always had feelings for alex, long before they ever got together. granted, that on its own doesn’t necessarily mean that he and alex dated, however it’s important to note. one thing that sticks out to me with regard to this is how andie once made a post commenting on how jack never looked at her the way he looked at alex. this is interesting to me bc it just seemed like she was implying that she was competing with alex in a way. maybe it’s just me, but i can’t really see that post any other way than that tbh. i mean why else would she have said it? if jack didn’t have feelings for alex, then why would it matter how he looked at him?

furthermore the fact that jack wasn’t alex’s best man at his wedding fr keeps me up at night (i mean not literally but u get the idea). like everyone knows how close they are, alex has literally called jack his “best friend in the whole world” (brb while i cry over that), so why wouldn’t he choose jack, his closest friend, to be his best man at his wedding? i always feel like he did that intentionally to spare jack’s feelings. as if he’s always known that jack has feelings for him, and as such he knew he couldn’t put jack through that, as presumably the best man would have had to give a speech etc. just something else i think about a lot.

anyway, all of this was probably very confused, i hope it makes sense as i have a tendency to waffle sksjsksj but yeah, this is my general idea! lmk if anything doesn’t make sense djskdjsk

[hairybirthdayclown]

iv. astrology notes

*(not a pro. just for fun)

• the sign ruling your 5H shows what kind of art you're interested in (because the 5H represents pleasures, joy & art is a form of what brings us those things) but musicians, artists, writers with the same moon sign as you constitutes to who you relate to the most (a bunch of astrologers have pointed the moon sign observation out) or find most calming & emotionally stimulating. singers/artists who have the same sign as your 5H in their charts are those you could listen to the most as well. planets in this house are responsible for your taste in art too.

Lana Del Rey has a scorpio ASC, Tyler, the Creator has a scorpio Moon which overlay my friends 5H in which they listen to most of the time. my sibling has a capricorn Moon, same as Nina Simone, who they listen to from time to time (heard them say they listen to her when they're overwhelmed & having a rough time emotionally). i have Mars in my 5H & i listen to music with a lot of profanity & that is quite sexual - loud music with a lot of drums. i occasionally find myself listening to heavy metal. i also appreciate art that is provocative & has sexual motifs.

• Mercury RX natal tend to overexplain due to the fact that they have been misunderstood before & might continue to be. in my observation, some might not even express themselves through speech but find an outlet that perfectly suits them like writing or painting. if they do choose to speak as of means of communication, they're usually very well spoken as they've mastered articulation.

• *theory still in the works* i don't know how i can get my point across. if your Sun sign is more prominent in one of your parents chart then it's likely that they're the one that named you. the Sun represents your identity & attention (your name being called out is what gets your attention lol). i've seen a total of 9 charts to confirm which parent named their offspring. the ruler of the sign/aspects to planets can show what influenced their choice of your name.

for example, i'm a sagittarius Sun. i was named by my father who has sagittarius placements. looking at Jupiter in my chart (ruler of sagittarius) it's aspecting the Moon which represents a maternal figure. my name is just a shortened version of my mothers & it also translates to 'god' (Jupiter represents religion). Pluto (represents power) is also aspecting the Sun & my surname literally means 'power' - my sibling & father also have this aspect except my mother (not her maiden name)

just have a knack at this theory & tell me if it resonates in your birth chart. i'm still trying to piece it together & observe other people's charts so bear with me. if someone else has already thought of this, please say.

• i don't know why but i usually see people who have gemini/virgo influence lead seemingly fulfilling lives & usually take it for granted - not stepping out of the pool of thoughts in their heads to observe their surroundings. it's good to award yourself for the great things you've accomplished (message for gemini). don't forget you're human before you are a self-improvement project. allow yourself to make mistakes (message for virgo)

thanks for reading :)

09/05/23

[inthisrace]

Behold, Cease Striving!

Many people believe that serving God is a hard task. I've held onto this belief for years. The idea of reaching out to others, immersing myself in the Bible, and fully committing to Christianity seems like a difficult challenge. I often find myself wondering what more I can do to honor the Lord. However, I must confess that I've never truly intended to seek His guidance. Instead, my thoughts and reflections have remained more of a personal contemplation rather than a sincere conversation with Him. I've never genuinely asked God what He wants from me; rather, I've created my own plans and assumed they align with His will. I've mistakenly believed that merely performing actions in His name is enough to please Him.

Eventually, I found myself feeling completely drained. I couldn't even muster up the energy to keep going with the tasks I had set out to do. It became clear to me that I have a habit of starting things with a lot of excitement, only to lose interest as time goes on. This constant cycle left me feeling overwhelmed with guilt, as if I could never quite make God happy. Feeling frustrated and in need of direction, I finally turned to God and asked, "What am I supposed to do?" I was genuinely seeking an answer, but none seemed to come. My mind was filled with so many thoughts that I couldn't really focus on my desire to serve the Lord. I tried different strategies and approaches, hoping to prevent myself from stumbling over and over again. Then, finally, He got through to me. He said, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world."

For many nights, I couldn't shake off that statement. It was like, "Yes, I've heard that many times since my childhood: 'Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world,'" but I never truly understood it. I tried asking God, but in the end, I also tried to provide the answers to my questions myself. Until I surrendered. So I asked Him, "What does that mean?" And a still, small voice whispered from within, "Behold, cease striving." Immediately, I searched what "behold" means and found out that it actually means "gaze at." Immediately, I stopped everything, got onto my knees, bowed very low because of the realization of how much I have taken Him for granted over the years, and failed to catch His gaze.

When the verse from the book of John declares, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" (John 1:29 NKJV), it's more of a call to "Cease what you are doing!" What are we so busy about? We can be in the church, busy doing things for His kingdom, but we forget about the King. The way Mary left everything just to be seated at the feet of Jesus is what He wants from us. Martha could be so busy preparing things for the Lord but lost sight of the most important thing. It's not about doing things for the Lord that He requires from us; it's about forsaking things upon hearing the sound of His voice. So, Behold!

Indeed, Behold! Jesus might be standing before us, yet we fail to recognize His presence because our gaze is fixed on other things. So, behold. "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world," declared John the Baptist. We are called to behold and cease striving this time, to halt everything once and for all. We need not struggle to feel His presence; but, we can yield to the Holy Spirit by fixing our gaze on Jesus and never look away.

He is the Lamb of God, the perfect sacrifice, the most worthy offering for you and me. Despite never feeling worthy of His love, I ended up being changed through the blood of the Lamb. The most holy sacrifice laid down His life for us. It's so ironic knowing that people like us, unworthy as we are, had to be saved by the only worthy person to die on the cross just to restore His perfect will over our lives.

So, loving Jesus isn't a burdensome task; it's not a complicated process because He has already prepared the way for us. He plans each step for us and waits for us to look to Him. We need to stay focused, as Isaiah said, to make a clear path for the Lord, even when life gets tough. When we do this, we understand His love and purpose for us even better.

[foster-the-world]

Life stuff

Took the kids to Coney Island this weekend. It was so much fun. Weather was good. Way over priced but that's life, I guess.

Read "the Wives" this weekend. A memoir about a liberal women whose husband joins the special forces. Wild. I cannot imagine. I'm surprised she was able to share so much information. Her husband is still in the military. I was pretty enthralled. Now I want her husband to write a book.

The PTA election was odd. Normally we are lucky to get one person for each position. As of a few weeks ago no one had agreed to be the President. A few people were asking the current person to do it again. As of a few days before she was saying no. Plus, she hasn't been too responsive to issues recently. Its a big job so I could understand being over it. I was already Secretary for two years so was opting out this year. Anyway, at the meeting the President listed some nominations she had received. Including for herself and the current Treasurer for President. She was the one who nominated the current Treasurer for the President role. Then she says she was nominated for the Treasurer along with one other new women. As there was someone else willing to be the President I thought for sure she would turn down the nomination. Or turn them both down. I quickly turned down my nomination. Nope she accepts both the President and the Treasurer nomination. It was very unorganized. The poll on zoom was not working so she tells people to send her their votes. I point out we should send them to the Principal so it can remain anonymous. She claims she is "supposed" to see the results. Who wants to message her to vote for someone else. We agree the Principal can see the results. She wins the election. So then we are like great that means the other person will win the Treasurer election. She then claims no we must hold both elections and then she will select what job they want to do. She says this all as if it is some written policy - rather then something she is making up as she goes along. Why would you insist on holding both elections? The other President nominee is her friend and the person she nominated. Why would you want her to go through not winning if you aren't going to accept the role. Anyway, she doesn't win the Treasurer role. I'm not sure if it makes sense written out but it was all odd. The person who won Treasurer writes me directly to say the "chaos of the election givers her pause." I'm not sure chaos is the right word but I can understand her hesitation. I like both the current Treasurer and the current (and future) President. They are both at the school constantly and do a ton of unpaid labor. However, everything is done last minute. Any attempts I made to make it more organized didn't go over well. I was not about to spend the year arguing with anyone so I just went with it. It all worked out. Also, I don't want to be President so I am in no position to judge how anyone else does it. Just confusing to claim you don't want the role for weeks, ignoring emails/work about the current position, and then accept two nominations. Anyway I'm glad to be out of it. I love the school. I love the community. I will still do a ton of work but I'm happy to do it in an unofficial capacity. No reason to sit through meetings.

I've applied for about $90K in grants that we haven't heard back from. If we get any of those I'll help the current Treasurer as grants can be a pain in the ass. I'll still run Teacher Appreciation week. I'm planning end of year Glow parties for the classes that don't get a graduation. If those are fun this year - I'll do it again next year. I'll volunteer at all of the events. I'll just skip meetings and drama.

[kayla-marie-writes]

I have too many fic ideas. I put them in my drafts and work on them, publishing and/or updating as I please. I have one with Zain going to university, but it's sort of like Nevermore... with humans in the mix. He has two monster-hunting dads and a badass uncle. As in Nick. But I've got to do more world-building with it. And yes, I'm showing my age with the play on "Werewolves in London." I regret nothing. Here's the cover.

The Prologue:

-ZAIN-

A lot has changed in the last two years. Almost losing your father to parasitic vampires can put things in perspective for you. I'd always thought that I'd lose him to the war. I thought I had when he left some time ago on my eighteenth birthday, and he hadn't come back. When I saw my gift on the table and heard the whispers of one last stand against the Americans, I put two and two together.

Imagine my surprise to hear from him about a day or two later, telling me that not only was he alive, but he had been quarantined and that there was someone he wanted me to meet. Someone who has saved his life over and over again.

An American named Jason Kolchek. I didn't trust him at first, but once my father came home, they told me the truth about the temple of Naram-Sin. He told me the government had granted him asylum for defecting against Dar, who I had never cared for.

When I went to University, he split time between the United States with Jason and London with me. They also paid my father and the other survivors off. I met another American, Nick Kay, who my father told me had met him with kindness in the temple. Jason admitted that it had taken him time. I appreciated being told the truth. From then on, I vowed to do better. I stopped stealing. I focused on my studies and the admission process.

Once I started classes, I buckled down. I got a job at the University Library, and I stayed out of trouble. I made a few friends here, and Tariq visited occasionally, but I kept a low profile...even as I saw signs of the supernatural all around me. For my father's sake, I made the choice not to get involved, even though he hunts with Jason and Nick. He wanted me to focus on my studies before I made any decisions. I understand and respect that.

I've noticed that the second-year students went off campus at all hours of the night to face these threats. There are all kinds of people here: werewolves, witches, vampires...all sorts of beings, and the humans who haven't been turned (as some can be born) or choose not to wield magic trains to be hunters.

I tried to ignore it, for my sake and my father's. I knew that after what he had gone through, it would be selfish and foolish of me to put myself in a similar situation. He hadn't been given a choice. I have one...but now, bodies were starting to pile up. Their hearts or throats had been torn out. People disappeared without a trace, as well. I followed every article I could because I felt drawn to the case. I'm not sure why.

My friends and I had gone out to the pub after classes let out to celebrate going to second year. This is when you decide what you wanted to major in, so to speak. I had no idea about this when I applied to study Mythology, but thanks to my family, I know what I want. I'm going to be a hunter. I want to protect people from the things they went through.

"Zain," Tariq hails me, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Do you know what you want to major in, yet?"

"I'm going to be a hunter," I tell him.

"Well, you've already got a head start!" Aiden shrugs. "I mean, your family survived the House of Ashes two years ago. That's impressive."

Aiden is a vampire and my roommate. Thanks to enchanted objects provided by the witches, vampires can walk in the daylight and enjoy human food. They still need blood sometimes, that's provided by willing donors. Vampires who refuse to live this way, and kill innocent people are considered rogues. They are hunted down. They have to be.

When we met, we talked about everything, and he assumes that the parasites in the temple are ancients, and they may have been dormant for centuries until the aliens landed. Under close supervision, CENTCOM was studying them, as the parasites are key to vampiric origins.

"Heh," I chuckled. "Before that, they were Marines, and my father was..."

"We get it," Kyle gently cuts it. "He didn't have a choice."

Kyle doesn't like her first name, and to this day, I don't know what it is. She's been able to wield magic at an early age, so unless she takes us by surprise, that will be her major. Granted, each class is still able to hunt down rogues, but choosing a major for it gives you specialized training and your position if you join an organization or hunt on your own.

Kyle risked expulsion when we first met two years ago. When I first arrived, and I was looking for directions, I ran into some xenophobic students. Considering my training with Jason and Nick, I knew I could handle them...if I'd gotten the chance. Kyle overheard them and she was pissed. I witnessed magic firsthand that day. We've been close ever since. Since Ravensbourne has a zero-tolerance policy for prejudice, she was put on probation...I think the dean was impressed that she knew how to hex people before her second year.

"Thanks, Kyle," I tell her with a smile.

"No problem," she replies, giving me one in return.

"So how much longer are the two of you going to play this little game?" Luke asks.

"What game?" Kyle and I ask in unison.

"Really?" Aiden smirks. "The late-night study sessions without us, going into the city together, that one time Zain met your family-"

"-That was coincidental," I broke in.

"We share a lot of the same classes," Kyle says next.

"Oh, come on," Tariq laughs. "It's too obvious!"

Luke is an interesting one...he's a werewolf from one of the oldest pure bloodlines of wolves, a select few Native American tribes. Unfortunately, they had to protect what was left of their bloodline, and the existence of werewolves wasn't tolerated back then, so they couldn't help their people as much as they wanted to. I've been fascinated by his ancestry. Contrary to the Hollywood myths about vampires and werewolves, he's also dating Aiden.

I've learned a lot about people, love, and sexuality in the past few years. I'm tolerant, and I embrace, support, and am close to many members of the LGBTQ+ community, but I never understood the struggles until my father had come out to me, and I paid closer attention to what he and Jason were going through. They both came from a world where they were made to feel wrong for loving each other...

"There's no game," I assure the group. "We're just..."

"...Seeing where things go," Kyle finished with a shy shrug.

"Well, good!" Aiden chuckles. "I mean, I just. You two are adorable!"

Kyle hides her face in her hands while Luke, Tariq, and Aiden tease her. She's right, we've gotten closer, especially in the past year. Her mother works for CENTCOM, as it turns out and she's worked with my father and uncles.

That's not why things have changed between us. That happened naturally. I'm drawn to her gentle nature. Unless her friends are being harassed or you provoke her, she typically stayed to herself. She's soft-spoken and intelligent...beautiful.

"Hey, Tariq," I begin, to give Kyle some relief, even as she scoots closer and I wrap an arm around her. "Have you heard back from Admissions yet?"

Tariq decided to apply after I told him the truth about what happened to my father. He stayed over for a few days, and it had been maybe a week since my father had been released from quarantine but Jason had to tie up some loose ends in America...so he wasn't home when my father had a nightmare.

Tariq and his mother helped us through it, and I couldn't lie to him after that. I know I can trust him. Once he found out, and I told him what Ravensbourne does, he wanted to join and fight. You can do that, and get an education at the same time.

"I have the envelope here," Tariq admits, pulling out the familiar cream-colored paper.

"Open it!" Luke insists enthusiastically. "Let's see what it says!"

Aiden, Kyle, and I lean in, too. I hope he got in. Tariq and I worked hard on my breaks. His grades are already great, but I wanted to give him the same advantage I had with having Marines for my uncles. We trained for hours until he was where I am now. He took his entrance exam and a physical test a week before he flew to visit me.

Tariq took a deep breath before he opens the envelope. He scans the words without giving anything away until he lets out a sigh.

"What is it?" I ask urgently.

"Did you get in?" Luke wonders.

"Do I need to visit the dean?" Kyle jokes.

"NO!" Aiden and I protest at the same time. She'll set his desk on fire or something.

"I got in," Tariq grins, flipping the letter around to show us.

"Hell yeah!" Luke crows. "Who did you get as your roommate?"

"....I haven't gotten there yet," Tariq mutters, reading on.

"Who did you get-"

Aiden was cut off by a familiar, grating voice.

"Oh, great, another charity case," Chase Frost announced his presence in a bored voice. "They're letting anyone in now..."

"That explains how you got here, aside from Daddy's pockets," Tariq shot back.

Son of a bitch. Chase is an asshole. He's not xenophobic, but he's a narcissistic jackass who thinks he's better than everyone else. I wasted no time kicking his ass in training. Ever since then, there's been this hostile, competitive energy between his friends and mine. I assumed that people outgrew this in grade school...Tariq clenched his jaw, and he got up to meet Chase.

"Cute," Chase snorts.

"Yeah, I thought so," Tariq shrugs earning a few giggles from the girls at a nearby table.

We didn't intervene. Tariq doesn't need us to, he's always been quick on the draw. Unless his friends showed up, we let Tariq handle this guy.

"Let me guess," Chase mused. "You're going to be a hunter? All brawn, no brain..."

"Come on now, Frost," Tariq quips. "You shouldn't be bitter because you don't have either one! You should be honored...you make snowflakes!"

Those same girls laughed openly now, and Chase flushed with embarrassment. Back home in Iraq, girls would flock to Tariq. He never showed any interest, but he never intentionally hurt anyone, either. I wondered if he would be interested in anyone here. Not that relationships define who you are as a person...I guess I'm just curious...

Chase specialized in water magic, which also translates to ice magic. Not all witches can hack it as a hunter, but I'm sure there are things that I'm not good at. When we had our attribute exams, something happened, and Chase's hailstorm turned into snowflakes.

It was all over campus, and we all heard how his father laid into him over the phone for failing to meet his standards. So what Tariq said was a low blow, but I had no sympathy for him. Being unhappy with your life doesn't give you the right to mistreat others.

"Do you know who the hell you're talking to?" Chase snarled.

"Elsa?" Tariq frowns. "I mean, I know you're a Disney character, but I figured you'd grow out of childish behavior!"

Our table erupts in quiet laughter. Chase sneers before stalking off. Tariq waits until Chase is gone before he joins us.

"He watches too many of those American shows," Tariq comments.

"He's a walking cliche," I agreed.

"Enough about him," Kyle shrugs. "Who do you have as your roommate, Tariq?"

"Luke," Tariq grins.

"Yes!" Luke crows. "We're all in the same building!"

"I think we should put in a request to switch," I announced. "That way, Luke and Aiden can share, and I won't risk walking in on you two again."

"I...am still...so sorry about that," Aiden winced.

"It's no big deal," I assure him. "It just makes sense at this point."

"Mr.Gordon is pretty cool, it shouldn't be an issue," Luke nods.

"That's something we can request tomorrow," Aiden decides. "You probably need to send for your things from Iraq, right?"

Tariq responds, but the alarm went off on my phone. My father and Jason were going to call soon.

"I'm gonna head back," I tell the group.

"Now?" Kyle frowns, checking her watch.

"I'm getting a call, and Jason and Baba are in the States," I explain.

"That's cool, tell them we said hey," Aiden smiles.

"Be careful," Luke warns me. "Whoever the killer is, it's a wolf, but no one has caught the scent."

"Yeah, I will," I assure everyone before leaving.

**************************************

Looking back now, I don't remember much about that night except that it was a full moon, and I had been halfway to my dorm when I had been attacked. Nick had been training me to fight, but I was no match for whatever this was. It was stronger than anyone I've sparred with.

I remember feeling like someone or something had been watching me all night, so I didn't drink much. Maybe it had been Chase? For someone who shows us disdain at every turn, I can't figure him out. I felt like I needed to stay sharp.

I couldn't shake the feeling...I remember the burning pain of sharp teeth gouging into my shoulder when I'd taken the shortcut into the alley-the guttural growls. Muscle and coarse fur...glowing eyes.

Luke had been right...holy shit. Werewolves. In London. The irony...Jason and I watched that movie once. I remember having that fleeting thought as I felt blood pour out of the bite. Then I thought about my family and Kyle. What would Nick or Jason have done-the wolf threw me down and I remember feeling its teeth tear my flesh as it did so. How the hell I hung on, I'm not sure...

Someone had leaped in front of me as I lay out in the alley. A woman...I saw her fight the wolf that bit me, and I passed out. When I'd come to, I must have been brought to her apartment. I didn't feel pain anymore...and my bite had disappeared. She must have found a clean shirt for me. Her scent-whoa that was weird-was all over it, and the apartment.

"You're awake," she sighs in relief. "Sometimes, people don't survive the bite...how are you feeling?"

"Uh..." I'm not sure how to respond. My senses were on high alert and it was a bit overwhelming.

"I didn't make it in time," she sighed as soon as I sat up. "I'm sorry. But now you've become a part of this."

"A part of what?" I asked.

"There's been a war between the wolves for the past few months," she explains. "We used to be at peace."

"What happened?" I asked her.

"There was to be a marriage to unite the packs," she explains. "They were mates...so things would have been resolved. No matter what happens, mates are meant to be honored. But someone killed them before the union could happen. Whoever it was...they covered their tracks. They used human methods to do it. No scent. So the two sides have been fighting ever since."

"...Where do you fit into all of this?" I ask her.

She considers me for a moment. I remember that her wolf is the color of caramel. I see it in her skin. The chocolate edges of her fur reflected in the shade of her hair that flowed down to her waist in thick waves. Her eyes are a piercing amber with flecks of yellow. I caught myself staring, and I looked away.

"You can trust me," I assure her. "I'm, uh, well I'm not an expert, but I know enough about wolves."

"Amara was my sister," she reveals, pain darkening her voice. "They were in love. I refuse to believe that his pack did this. Killing each other's mates...not only is it forbidden, but it takes a toll on you to break a bond like that. Whoever did this isn't in their right mind...but no one wants to hear me out. So I've been trying to solve this on my own."

"Maybe I can help," I find myself saying. "You've already said I've been brought into this, right?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Both sides have been trying to add to their numbers...I appreciate the offer, umm.."

"Zain," I introduced myself. "Zain Othman."

"Amaya Graves," she nods. "You're taking this well, by the way. It's odd. Refreshing...but odd."

"I study mythology at the university," I reveal. "I've noticed patterns of werewolf activities, but..."

"Which university?" she asked, her eyes flashing.

"Um, Ravensbourne University London," I tell her. "Why?"

"Be careful," Amaya warns me. "You can't trust everyone there."

I checked my watch. Shockingly, I haven't missed my call with my father.

"I understand," I tell her. "I need to go...and I'm going to speak to my father about this."

"I-wait, I'm sorry, what?" she stutters. "Why? That's dangerous. It's one thing to tell him that you've become one of us, but-"

"-He's stronger than you think," I gently cut in. "He survived the House of Ashes."

"...Really?" she gasped, her eyebrows rising. "No human ever has, and the rest of us stay clear of it. The Ancient One is the oldest of vampires."

"My father killed him," I reveal. "Along with other survivors."

"...Wow..." she murmured. "That's impressive...Are you sure you want to get him involved in this?"

"He's going to want to hunt down whoever bit me, regardless of what I say," I tell her. "If not him, then his boyfriend will...or my uncle."

I could almost hear him now...bold, angry, impulsive but protective. I remember the way my father had spoken of him before we met. Once Jason made up his mind, there was no turning back.

He also has an uncanny knack for knowing what you're thinking, even over the phone. I couldn't keep this from him, even if I wanted to. Nick's approach is more...ruthless. Unforgiving. I'd have to make sure he has all the facts first. But I know he'd be willing to help.

"Fair enough," Amaya nods. "I'm going to escort you back. You're a new wolf, and it will take time for you to adjust."

************************

I can hear, smell, and damn near taste everything. Amaya was right. It felt like sensory overload, but she taught me to breathe and remain calm. Colors are sharper. Richer. I'll focus on that later. Right on time, my laptop chimed, and I pulled up the video call with my father and Jason.

"Somethin' is different," Jason observes as soon as I log on.

How the hell does he do that? I hadn't even spoken yet.

"What's goin' on?" Jason asks.

"I-how do you do that?" I demand, momentarily thrown off. "And I thought baba was hard to fool..."

"I have to get very creative," my father admits. "But he's right...what's going on with you?"

"Uhh, so don't freak out..." I began.

[ticklish-touch]

... BRUH HOW THE FUCK DID YALL KNOW I'VE BEEN RAMBLING ABOUT THE SMILER ON DISCORD

Seriously, I've been on a Smiler kick on Discord servers for the past 2-3 days ever since I realized that the theme is the song I heard at a scare-house last Halloween that sent me into Lee Panik like almost nothing ever has before

Hypno, laughing gas, tickle machines, a bit of doctor-play with Happiness injections... hhhgvjjgkg Lord Mercy

This terrifies me in the best way

As for the Deities... Sweet jesus don't let Rags find out about this. Those two would get along like a house on fire and enable each others' chaos, and bounce ideas off of each other on how to make the whole world permanently smile and laugh their heads off.

He'd be so fuckin mean and make as many of his human friends ride it as possible. Granted, he wouldn't let it permanently alter their brain chemistry, he knows other emotions are important for people to process. But he'd still let them be euphoric, fill them with adrenaline and dopamines, overloaded with tickle-pleasure, and giggle-drunk for a few days after 😈

Kenni might not approve tho. He already doesn't like coasters and the methods are a little... Intense for his liking, lmao

But still, sign me the fuck up, it seems like a genuinely fun rollercoaster and amusement park 👍