#I mean I am editing the story posts for this weekend | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

captainreecejames · 2 months ago

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Tale As Old As Time || My Ex is a Footballer OB38 Edition

links [masterlist] [my ex series masterlist]

summary you have a best friend and a boyfriend, too bad you're in love with the wrong one

pairings ex!cole palmer x reader, ollie bearman x reader

warnings cursing, hate to yn,

notes this was born because i realized that I hadn't written the classic friends to lover trope so here you guys go! also the next one will be george because I've had that one in the drafts forEVER so I want to get it out there for everyone!

july 2023

september 2023

liked by kimiantonelli, olliebearman and others

ynusername Ollie that's 3 wins this season!!! I'm so freaking proud of you but here's a reminder of what you looked like to keep you level headed

olliebearman did you really need to post that last one? ↳ ynusername yes bearboy

kimiantonelli 😃😃 ↳ ynusername be careful kimi

username1 ugh, i love their friendship! ↳ username2 yeah... friendship ↳ username1 she's got a boyfriend that's not Ollie ↳ username2 doesn't mean she isn't in love with ollie and playing with the new guys feelings

December 2023

ynusername posted a story -------

ynusername posted ------

liked by olliebearman, bsfinstagram and others

ynusername dates out with you

username11 so she goes out with ollie the night before and now her man... yn they could never make me like you ↳ username12 for real!!! that was clearly a date with ollie last night so she had to post with this mystery man

olliebearman does cole let you win like me? ↳ colepalmer nah mate ↳ colepalmer oh fuck ↳ olliebearman oh fuck ↳ ynusername you both are idiots

username13 COLE PALMER IS DATING YN LN????? ↳ username14 did not have that on my bingo card for 2023 ↳ username13 seriously does she go around collecting sports prodigies?

username15 wait, ollie lets her win in chess? (pouty face) ↳ username16 ollie bearman plays chess????? ↳ olliebearman only with yn ↳ ynusername and contrary to popular belief he only let me win once

username17 not ollie exposing yn and cole ↳ username18 and cole had to really back it up by commenting ↳ username17 if Ollie had just deleted his comment none of this would have happened and we'd still be speculating

january 2024

ynusername posted a story -----

march 2024

ynusername posted -------

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and others

ynusername HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOUVE JUST HAD YOURR FIRAT FORMULA ONE RACE AND YOU SCORED POINTS! I'm so proud of you and this whirlwind of a weekend. Nowhere I'd rather be than supporting you here.

username20 oH MY GOD YN JUST ADMIT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM!! ↳ username21 that hand holding picture???? that is not just best friends i am sorry

olliebearman thank you so much for flying out on such short notice YN! ↳ ynusername you know i had to when you're dad called me!

charles_leclerc congrats again to ollie ↳ ynusername charles!! you were amazing as well

carlossainz55 where's my appreciation? ↳ ynusername thank you carlos for getting appendicitis and then needing it removed so ollie could make his f1 debut and also thank you for showing him around ↳ carlossainz55 you're welcome!

kimiantonelli well done to Ollie, and you yn for surviving that race ↳ ynusername it was hard but I had david with me to help ↳ kimiantonelli ahhh, love david

username22 she really flew out on saturday to be there? yn please

username23 need cole palmer to realize that she really doesn't care about him

June and July 2024

ynusername posted----

liked by premaracing, scuderiaferrari and others

ynusername monza!!!!! featuring some race winners and prema racing or one direction, couldn't be sure

username30 not yn being online enough to know about one direction prema racing>>>> ↳ ynusername i sent that tweet to ollie, it makes me laugh every time

username31 the hand heart??? yn we know what you are ↳ username32 yeah but also she loves charles so idc she can do no wrong now

username33 at least we know that her and cole aren't together anymore

username34 yn magnussen got a race ban!!! is ollie gonna take his seat? ↳ ynusername oh kmags, the fia is just silencing him cause he's too good

ynusername posted----

liked by haasf1team, nicohulkenberg and others

ynusername ollie once again I'm so proud of you! and back in the points as well! couldn't be prouder to call you my best friend and boyfriend

username40 WHAT THE FUCK WE GOT A OLLIEYN CONFIRMATION??

ynusername also you raced alongside lewis hamilton can you get me an autograph? username41 you know what?? she's part of cultLH and I'm gonna defend her forever now

ynusername shout out to kmags for the race ban but I'm gonna miss you next year

username42 OLLIE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!! olliebearman

olliebearman i love you yn, and I'll get you that lewis hat don't worry ynusername best fucking boyfriend ever

francolapinto LEWIS ↳ ynusername LEWIS!!!!! ↳ olliebearman LEWIS!!!!!!!!! ↳ username43 your honor i love them all

#f1 smau #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 smau #ollie bearman x reader #ollie bearman x fem!reader #ollie bearman #ollie bearman smau #read #my ex is a footballer series #danielle writes

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a-b-riddle · 6 months ago

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Can't Stop Thinking About Update 5/18

A bit of an update on what's happening with CSTA.

This week, unfortunately, there will not be an update on Sunday. I mentioned in a previous post I have a UTI and the nausea meds literally knock me out so I got very little writing done today which means there won't be anything to edit and put out tomorrow.

Chapter 9 will now be rewritten at the end of the series. I do plan to rewrite it, but for now, I want to continue the series as planned and having to go back and work on it has delayed further writing. Until then, the unrevised version will stay up.

In the next few days, ageless blogs will be blocked. I do not engage with minors, nor should minors be reading anything on my blog

Finally, I appreciate the enthusiasm with wanting updates, I really do. But if the only engagement you're going to have with me is replying "next chapter please" or messaging me on anon when I'm going to post the next chapter, please don't bother... I am not getting compensation for this. I am doing this for fun. But receiving several comments and messages either asking for the next update or requesting how the story ends is starting to legit piss me off...

I've said previously that the 141 and reader reconcile. Reader can work things out with them and still have a backbone. Just because someone finds it within themselves to forgive someone else (after they have proven they are sorry and rectify their behavior) does NOT make them spineless. Not every FMC needs to have a "eat shit and die" mentality when it comes to being wronged. Stop asking me for the ending you want. Stop telling me how to write my own story.

Again, thank you for the continued support whether its a like, reblogging, reply or even a message. I have over 50 messages right now and how to get through the bulk of them this weekend.

-Riddle

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blakbonnet · 27 days ago

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*DRUM ROLL* This AOTW is the podfic edition of our beloved weekend celebration of great artists in this fandom, and our featured artist this week is none other than @lindie-kninjaknitter ✨ If you're a lover of podfics, you've definitely heard at least one of Lindie's 265 fics either on your commute or because their voice is just so calming. Lindie also agreed to answer some questions for me:

Let's start with the technical: what are the programs you use to create your lovely podfics?

I use GarageBand to record with a ShureMV7 microphone, and I use Audacity for processing and post on SoundCloud.

How did you get into podficcing? Is this the first fandom you've tried it for?

I got into podfic making I knew what a podfic was. The story “No One Would Riot For Less” by sacrificethemtothesquid was a retelling of season one from Ed’s POV. I couldn’t put it down. So I recorded into the Voice Memos on my phone so I could take it with me on walks. When I found out that this was something that people do, I asked the author for permission to post and they said yes, and with the encouragement of some generous kind pirates in the comments I recorded more.

What made you fall in love with narrating stories?

This is the only fandom I’ve recorded although after I did a few stories, I auditioned for some books on audible and have recorded two stories there. It was not as rewarding or enjoyable as recording fanfiction. I love that the audio out there helps people in the ways it does. Folks tell me they listen while they do boring tasks or enjoyable art or their commute. I feel like I get to sit in the corner of a room in so many peoples lives, reading these awesome stories and it makes me very happy.

Any tips for beginners who wants to give podficcing a shot?

Tips for beginners! There are some good resources on AO3, the sapphires project, tree change project… These were designed to try to support new podfic makers as well as get those stories to audio. But I think the most important thing is find a story you want to live in! Something you really, really love, and then record it on your phone or whatever you have. I didn’t have a microphone until I started Hell or High Water.

Sound quality wise the two big things you need to do are to get your voice through a recording device and onto your DAW (digital work station – mine is GarageBand) While at the same time, eliminating other noises as much as possible. Echo is not your friend so a bathroom is your worst option… a place with soft walls blankets carpet on the floor in a quiet corner works great. Or a closet.

What is your favourite podfic that you've narrated?

My favorite podfic is which ever one I’m working on right now! There are some I am particularly proud of the vocal performance. Throat G.O.A.T. stands out… Constellationism, Baddy Zaddy have such sense of place! Captive of the Pirate King was the first one in which I really felt part of a community. I’ve made… 260 so far… each one was my favorite as I worked on it!

What are your personal challenges when it comes to narrating podfics?

I always want to do more than I can reasonably actually record. In choosing one it means I’m unchoosing several others.

I have dyslexia… sometimes I cannot get into the flow of reading which is frustrating.

There are some topics and materials I find difficult to narrate. Often that discomfort is offset by many other things that I love about a story and so I will narrate them anyway.

When I am approaching difficult material, I do a lot of journaling. I take breaks. I record sentences in pieces, then stitch it together and I am pretty sure you can’t tell in the finished recording.

We have a wonderful community of narrators who are there to listen and help each other with things like this.

Why OFMD? 🥹

Why OFMD? I think the underlying story of figuring yourself out later in life really appeals to me. I see myself in many of the characters, Ed, Stede, Jim, Izzy, Lucius… This story and the crew have really helped me understand myself better… feel less broken? (Chapter 25 baby!!!) feel less of an outsider? To recognize that parts of myself that I’ve had to tone down my whole life are worthy of being loud about.

Please head on over to @ofmdlovelyletters to leave your love for Lindie 💕

#aotw #artist of the week #ofmd #our flag means death #aotw podfic edition

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alianoralacanta · 10 days ago

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i've seen a lot of speculation surrounding charles being told to lico and ferrari's intentions behind it. historically ferrari's PU doesn't perform as well in mexico, i think the whole point of telling charles to lico was so they could prevent a problem. also, carlos had a misfire in the beginning if i am not mistaken.

a lot though are saying that ferrari told charles to lico so they could create that 8s gap and sainz could make a safe stop, since he complained about charles who was gaining on him, so sainz could have an easy win. but this made charles vulnerable to norris. maybe ferrari misjudged the pace of norris otherwise they wouldn't have built that much of a gap to carlos, but then again charles was also in management mode. i would like to know though why sainz wasn't told to lico as much? was charles' PU just more vulnerable or something? i remember for a couple rounds straight in the first half of the season he was always switching back and forth between PUs bc there was always something wrong. i think it was miami where both ferrari drivers changed PUs, then for like three (or four?) weekends in a row after that charles was switching back and forth between PUs.

Firstly, a definition: "lico" in this anon means "lift and coast", which means taking the accelerator off later and starting braking later. This leads to periods of time when the car is running on inertia, changing speed slower than usual. It saves the engine, fuel and in some cases tyres. However, it is not the fastest way to do a lap and can also cause other problems, some of which were apparent in Mexico for Charles Leclerc.

I think Charles was more vulnerable in general because he'd had such a disrupted practise and had made less of the practise he had obtained than Carlos Sainz. From the post-race interviews, I get the impression Ferrari worked out early in the race that P3 was as good as it was going to get for Charles, so there was no point stressing out the engine for no reward. After all, the same engine will be needed for other races that will hopefully be more rewarding.

Charles also has a driving style that uses brake/throttle overlap in an unusual way. It's not clear why it works for him but it seems to help him manage tyres, and when he's not allowed to do it, he's more affected by that than other drivers would be. However, in a car and engine that's being preserved for another race, the tyres might not be generating enough heat for Charles' usual style to work anyway. So Charles was getting more wear and less speed from his tyres than usual, which made the P3 something of a self-fulfilling situation. Even if Charles didn't want to get the memo if his defence against Lando Norris was any sample!

I can believe Ferrari's power unit being less reliable at high altitude than others', it has had unreliability in Mexico before. I only got highlights and Carlos' misfire wasn't mentioned, probably because it was an unusually short slot and it ultimately didn't tell Carlos' race story efficiently. It would, however, make sense if the misfire had occurred and then cleared.

The unreliability from earlier in the season will definitely have been on Ferrari's mind. Charles probably has less margin than Carlos - and he certainly has more motive than Carlos to look at the 5 remaining races as a unit rather than as 5 separate possibilities of individual good results. (Charles' title chances may be poor but Carlos' are non-existent). [Edit: excised "almost" because as @things-methinks indicated, he lost the ability to win the title at Mexico. There are now 118 points on the table and Carlos is 120 points away].

#f1 #charles leclerc #lico #lift and coast

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cartierre · 2 years ago

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ANTIFRAGILE | zg24

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU zhou guanyu x fem!kpop idol!reader

disclaimer: i know dating is a whole "taboo" kind of thing in the kpop industry, but for the sake of this story i'm loosening the whole thing up a bit.

♡ liked by jenaissante, _chaechae_1, 39saku_chan and 938,320 others

tagged: alfaromeostake

yourusername thank you alfaromeostake for inviting me to my first grand prix ever! let's hope for some good results this weekend!

view all 12,982 comments

alfaromeostake hwaiting!! ⤷ user1 this has to be the funniest crossover ever

user2 what in the multiverse is going on??

user3 this is the wildest thing i've seen in some time

user4 i just know for a fact so many kpop stans are going to invade f1 now ⤷ user5 watch the (esp. male) f1 fandom crumble under the kpop stans

♡ liked by yourusername, alex_albon, felipedrugovich and 22,391 others

tagged: valtteribottas, alfaromeostake

zhouguanyu24 last race of the season, let's go! #AbuDhabiGP #TeamZHOU

view all 394 comments

yourusername 祝你好运！(good luck!) comment liked by zhouguanyu24

user6 i want a picture of zhou and y/n together rn or i'm suing some people! ⤷ user7 this is such a weird combination i love it

alfaromeostake let's keep the constructor championship up boys!

♡ liked by zhouguanyu24, alfaromeostake, le_sserafim and 1,109,437 others

tagged: zhouguanyu24, valtteribottas, alfaromeostake

yourusername congrats on P6 on the constructors championship! well deserved, awesome race! #VB77 #TeamZHOU

view all 13,659 comments

zhouguanyu24 had an amazing fan cheering us on on the sides! ⤷ yourusername guess i'm your new lucky charm ⤷ user8 is this allowed?

user9 i'm still not over whatever this is ⤷ user10 it doesn't look real, as if someone edited this together ⤷ user11 i never expected f1 and kpop to be in the same room

alfaromeostakes next time we'll visit you at inkigayo comment liked by yourusername ⤷ user12 ADMIN WHAT IS THIS ⤷ user13 whoever is the admin needs a fat pay check for this weekend fr

♡ liked by yourusername, pierregasly, alex_albon and 32,095 others

tagged: yourusername

zhouguanyu24 안녕 서울 (hello seoul)

view all 985 comments

user14 are you telling me zhou is visiting y/n in seoul during his winter break ⤷ user15 i guess they became friends during her visit in abu dhabi?

yourusername you should've told me you were taking a picture! i wasn't prepared... ⤷ zhouguanyu24 you still look very pretty ⤷ user16 LOOK AT ZHOU SHOOTING HIS SHOT ⤷ user17 the shanghai tiger? more like the shanghai rizzer

♡ liked by zhouguanyu24, jenaissante, k_a_z_u_h_a_ and 1,293,084 others

tagged: zhouguanyu24

yourusername revenge ha

view all 15,298 comments

zhouguanyu24 comedian comment liked by yourusername

user18 y/n posting a photo of zhou where he didn't know she was taking one because he did the same to her and she complained is peak pettiness ⤷ user19 i love her being petty. ⤷ user20 she is me, i am her

user21 ARE YOU JUST FRIENDS OR MORE PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW ⤷ user22 i don't think they're in a relationship. y/n is an idol, she has some reputation to uphold ⤷ user23 she doesn't seem to care much about that

♡ liked by 34,293 people

tagged: yourusername

f1wagupdates kpop idol y/n y/l/n photographed outside her hotel in bahrain on her way to the track for the first qualifying of the 2023 season! it's rumoured that this time she's been invited by zhou guanyu personally. do they look like friends or lovers to you?

view all 1,293 comments

user24 how does she have time to be at the gp ⤷ user25 i mean she's probably just there for the qualifiyng and race and then flies back to seoul

user26 if they're not dating, idk what this is ⤷ user27 they could just be close friends? men and women can be friends without any sexual tension ⤷ user28 yeah but y/n's a girly girl, she doesn't just become friends with men. she has almost zero male friends in the industry as well ⤷ user29 that you know of. she's just showing you what she wants you to see. you don't really know her ⤷ user30 so she wants to be seen with zhou? interesting...

♡ liked by zhouguanyu24, pierregasly, alfaromeostake and 1,382,407 others

tagged: zhouguanyu24, alfaromeostake

yourusername back at it again #BahrainGP

comments have been disabled for this post

#zhou guanyu #zhou guanyu imagine #zhou guanyu imagines #zhou guanyu x reader #zhou guanyu x you #zhou guanyu x y/n #zhou guanyu fluff #zhou guanyu fanfiction #f1 instagram au #f1 social media au #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fluff #f1 fanfiction #this is for my zhou girls out there

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blamemma · 22 days ago

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very self-centred, pathetic post, under the cut. just something i need to write i think.

i kinda knew that this day would hurt. and it does. its finality. its 'daniel. daniel please where are you. come on daniel wear a silly outfit and turn up at the paddock please. model ur new enchante for us please". tomorrow will hurt even more. no RIC on the timing boards, or on the onboard camera selection. but for me, i feel like i've lost a little bit of purpose. this year, i've definitely taken a step back from posting. my job has taken me away from a lot of race weekends. but when i am here, i love providing. i love refreshing the photo websites and seeing my guy, and sharing that with you all. just before i sleep, reading through all the fun (and deranged) tags y'all would leave on my posts. it was such joy. i truly never did it for the accolades or anything like that. i did it for the community. and i love this community so deeply. and i feel like today and evermore, what do i provide? i don't write, i don't make gifs, i don't make beautiful soul-crushing edits. my outpouring and expression of love to daniel was in content update. and that feels stupid to say (type) but god, just the unexplainable joy of a new daniel video that was so funny or pretty or anything else, and knowing that so many of u were also going to enjoy that was delightful. and this would hurt any weekend, but especially on cota weekend. i've sat and gone through my archive today, and sobbed a lot at so many videos and photos of him from over the years at cota. however shit the weekend may have been for him, he always glowed so differently at this race. his confidence was unmatched. my fingers twitch to refresh getty and see a new photo of him today and realise this was a bad nightmare. he's still a f1 driver. but nope. and instead its just a weird gaping hole. i loved race weekends. i loved the structure of them. i loved knowing for 3-4days we'd all be here, delighting together in daniel. that....structure. those set in stone dates are gone. and i just feel so weird about it today. not providing. not having something to provide. in the first week of this all, i said to friends, i really struggled seeing us all so sad, and not being able to do anything at all to bring happiness or light to the situation. and weeks on. that still remains. its funny, that the thing that has brought us so much sadness, could be so easily fixed by the one thing that won't happen. him being in that car tomorrow. him showing up today for media day. one photo. one instagram story. of him walking into the paddock today as a driver. for media day. would delight us all. but it just...won't happen. maybe, probably, never again (don't worry, i'm still a lil delulu). idk sorry, there was a point to this, but i'm finding it hard to properly articulate it. i think it's overarchingly, my fear that the community i have built here, on blamemma, might slowly dissipate. and that's okay. but it's also such a shame. we should have had so much more. he should have had so so so much more. maybe we'll get it again (don't worry, i'm still a lil delulu) but this emptiness feels so strange today.

but this is also to say u don't need to have a "purpose" in fandom. those who simply reblog, are the bricks that built this mansion. i just mean all of this in terms of how i have interacted within fandom for a while now.

#and please know i am hugging u all so tight this weekend and administering forehead kisses

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princessvisionary101 · 1 year ago

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Teaser for chapter 2 of Prince Nuada Silverlance x disowned princess reader:

While you two were strolling in the hallways of the palace, you wondered if you could find many records about the Bethmoora clan to pass the time in the library. Afterall, if you were going to read some books while your family discuss business, may as well learn more about the strangers you’ve never heard of then not anything.

Now don’t be mistaken, you didn’t want to learn the Bethmoora clan’s history because of some strategy or something to use against them like you family did for many other visitors or guests; but learning more about other existences than just other similar individuals was enough to imagine exploring the outside world without no care in the world.

(Now to further explain my situation if y’all are curious, if not, you can ignore this message before the keep reading tab but if y’all are curious, then y’all are free to keep reading.)

Now y’all know as a person we all have a lot of responsibilities that we have to focus on before doing anything that we love to enjoy.

For example, I am about to start college in a few days and I also work on the weekends, so I hardly have any time to do anything much less riding stories, playing video games, or hanging out with friends.

But do not worry. I still want to try to finish the story just so that way I can see how far my writing skills can go and because I’ve always wanted to be a fun, loving fanfic writer for characters who hardly get enough Fame or love as they should. But do not fret the chapter is already done. I just need to edit a few stuff to make sense and then I will have enough time to post it before I start college.

I hope y’all enjoy the chapter and thank you for reminding me how much people are patiently waiting for something that means a lot to me.

#the princess has spoken #prince nuada x you #prince nuada imagine #prince nuada headcanons #prince nuada x reader #nuada silverlance #nuada imagines #nuada #prince nuada #nuada imagine #nuada x you #nuada x reader #hellboy 2 headcanons #hellboy imagines #hellboy imagine #hellboy 2 the golden army #hellboy x reader #hellboy 2004 #hellboy

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poisonedspider · 7 months ago

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poisonedspider: INDIE roleplay blog for ANGEL DUST (ANTHONY) from HAZBIN HOTEL. Incredibly NSFW muse. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Spoilers present. Canon divergent. Semi-selective. Medium activity. Multipara/Novella literate writer for 20+ years. Multiverse and multi-ship. Mostly head canon based representation of (one) famous porn star. Mature and triggering content present, must be 21+ to interact. Blog will explore extreme trauma, abandonment, s*xual assault, physical violence, death, etc. Mutuals only, please! Authored by Strode, he/him, 30+. Re-established April 2024 (originally wrote in July 2019). Please read rules under the cut on this post.

Stand-alone blog, not strictly affiliated with the Hazbin/Helluvaverse and community (and certainly not in support of Vivzie). Open to any and all characters and interactions. Let it be known I am NOT AN ASK BLOG. Personals are allowed to follow, but will not be followed back and will be BLOCKED if they keep interacting with my stuff. Do not reblog this post.

Angie's main bitches: @featheredbarkeep, @sirserpentine, @veelentino, @hazbinned, @mothvalentino, @widdlestwucifer, @doublejango, @grimowled, @voxxisms and @hzbinsouled.

Don’t be an asshole. Literally my number one rule, and basically my only rule. This is a hobby. We are nerds writing as fictional characters. I’m too old to feel in high school again. If you don’t like what I write, the block button is a function. Block me, and move along. Forget I exist. I do not participate in call out culture, and will not be forced to choose sides.

Memes are definitely the best way to interact with me. I personally will turn all memes into threads, as I feel that’s the point of them. You don’t have to necessarily continue them, but I’d appreciate if you did because I put a lot of thought and energy into my replies.

Never feel the need to match my length (I write a lot), but also know that I reserve the right to delete a thread if I don’t feel like what you wrote gives me enough information to write a well thought out reply. Also always feel free to delete threads I send to you that you no longer have muse for. This is for fun, it isn’t a homework assignment. You don’t need to explain yourself on your own blog!

I don’t work full-time, but that doesn’t mean I’m not constantly busy. I’m traveling almost every other weekend, and I’m trying to put my energy into being off Tumblr if I can help it. I may not always have the spoons to talk or do replies, even if you see me online. Just please be patient with me!

There will be a LOT of R-rated material on this blog. Almost everything will be NSFW - look at the show content, and especially this character. I do my best to tag all triggers, but please let me know if something specifically triggers you and I’ll edit it to be tagged right away so you can blacklist it. I’m still going to keep writing it, though. This is my blog. It is not my duty to make sure that you have a safe space, and if you don’t feel safe, I will not be remotely offended if you unfollow to keep your dash what you want it to be. It’s kind of impossible to write Angel and Angel’s story without some triggers coming up (Episode 4? Yeaaaah.)

Personals, do NOT reblog things. It already happened from the hour I made this blog, and it will become an automatic block. This is a roleplay blog. Period. I am also not an Ask Roleplay Blog, so while I may respond to some of those things in jest, it isn’t the purpose of this blog. Hazbin fan blogs and whatnot, leave my stuff out of it. If you continue to do this, I will report your blog.

Angel Dust is gay. He will not be having romantic relationships with any females in the show. The only way he would ever be with a female, is if for whatever reason Valentino decided that he needed to sleep with a woman for his porn. Which I can’t see happening but….yeah.

Speaking of Valentino, the way I play Angel is him still definitely within the confines of the contract. He might do things he is ashamed/embarassed of and doesn’t want to actually do because of the contract. Dubcon will probably be explored on here to some degree because he struggles saying no to Val. That doesn’t stop him from fighting back, but he’s going to do some gross things because his soul is owned. Also, my Angel does have love for Val. That doesn't mean I ship them AT ALL. It means that I have no shame as a therapist in exploring the cycle of abuse and toxic relationships, and that this is incredibly important to my Angel's story.

This being said, dubcon would be the only thing I'd put under a Read More because I know other people hate it. I don't really intend to write it out, but people could argue that Valentino using his 'poison' is considered dubious consent, and yeah, I'm going to write that and flesh it out a bit. As for other read mores, I'm lazy and it ain't gonna happen. You followed a character who is a sex worker. There's going to be smut. Murder. Cussing. That's the content of the show. I have no shame putting it out in the open. As mentioned, you can check the trigger warnings on my posts before reading something.

I’m a multipara/novella roleplayer. I’ll do some one liners and crack stuff, but it won’t be as common. I want to have elaborate threads. I want to flesh out this character. I’m going to come up with things about him that Vivzie doesn’t and make him a little bit my own. And that comes from writing, writing, writing. If I don't reply to you, it's probably because I can't work with one liners and I am stumped.

All the graphics and whatnot on this blog were either created or commissioned specifically by/for me. (I know I’m not a fabulous photoshop graphic maker but hey I tried). Do not steal from me. If I find out that you have, I will report your blog for theft. Majority of the graphic work on here is done by both @cerberuscommissions and @17webs.

DO NOT GODMODE. I will literally scream, cry, and throw up (okay, not literally). This is my blog, and I want to control Angel in my way. Please and thank.

I don't necessarily need people to reblog from the source, but if my activity is blowing up with the same person reblogging and reblogging, I'll kindly ask you to stop. If you continue, that will lead to a block because I already have hundreds of drafts and don't have time to swim through activity.

Sorry fam, I don't do Discord. I've had a few people ask, and while yes I do have it, I have it with a burning fiery passion. All roleplaying will be done here and here alone, because I like to have a Tumblr blog as a sort of 'archive.'

As for the mains (listed above), to not be discouraged just because I have mains. I was avoiding choosing them for a bit because I hate how it can feel like favoritism, but the fact of the matter is that there are unfortunately people on here that Angel has much more muse for, and that I talk to ooc almost every day. Those people get first priority. Let it be known that does NOT mean they are exclusives. As mentioned, I will be writing with every single character, no limitations. Nor are there any rules specifically associated with my mains. Mostly just means they get priority on things.

I don't have any triggers. Period. I appreciate people asking me if such and such is okay in a thread before we do it, but really, just do whatever your character feels they would do. I'm a therapist. And sure, therapists have their triggers too. But I've been exposed to so much shit that nothing really phases me anymore.

I do not own the character Angel Dust or any content from Hazbin Hotel. I am not associated with Vivziepop and am in fact an Anti-Viv blog (please don't associate me with her). Shocker, I know. But gotta put that on here.

Tldr; Be chill, have fun, don’t follow if don’t like hypersexuality, severe trauma, or sassy gay men.

#pinned post #poisoned spider #hazbin roleplay #hazbin rp #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel roleplay #angel dust #angel dust rp #angel dust roleplay #roleplay blog #rp blog #literate roleplay #novella roleplay

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laura1633 · 4 days ago

Note

let me tell you a funny story! when i was getting into f1 rpf last spring i decided to check out tumblr after only reading a few fanfics... i saw your account and everybody just casually talking about doing these questionable things to these grown men was a veryyyy bizarre experience (at that point) (my first actual rpf fandom experience)

after months and reading possibly every work under the lestappen tag on ao3 i have to admit im responsible for a few too many unholy asks in your inbox myself

and to imagine people like me stumbling into your account and seeing the things we say is a very funny image to me

you never know until you're in it i guess

i love you for being the voice of everyonee! and i wonder did yesterday's phenomenal performance might mean we still get a preloved chapter this week?? if not that's okay this sport and fia are still corrupted

Haha I can totally see why it would be a strange experience! When I first started answering asks and writing rpf I was also questioning myself but given that I keep all this on tumblr and ao3 I just decided to go full send into it 😂😂

Thank you for sending asks through anon <3

So... it depends. I normally do a lot of the editing on the chapters at the weekend which I just could not focus on this weekend because I was so unhappy with certain things! Unfortunately this next chapter is the one that needs the most amount of editing and re-writes as I am not happy with it at the moment but I have an idea how to fix it (hopefully)!

I am going to try my best to get it done for Wednesday but I don't want to post it until I am happy with it but I suspect that if its not done by Wednesday I will post it by Friday rather than delay it until next week. And then the next chapter will follow Wednesday as usual.

All my other stories are on hold for a couple weeks but I do think I will be back to finishing them off because otherwise what am I going to do in the off season. As much as I hate the corruption I know deep down I will keep watching because of my favourite drivers! And life with some Lestappen rpf doesn't feel right haha!

#laura1633 asks

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macawritesupdates · 1 month ago

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Writing Update 10/5/2024

I'm alive! Just I have been doing more art of late which means not as much writing time! Working on two zine art pieces and trying to finish art I owed for something I forgot about 8'3

Also catch up on Ink event for an art server. Got to do that. BUT progress on writing is being made! <3

JJK LONG-FIC UPDATES

CAREFUL WHAT YOU JOKE ABOUT: EDITING NEW CHAPTER AND IT SHOULD BE OUT TODAY! The outline reworks are more or less done other than seeing how many chapters it takes to reach a conclusion I'm happy with. Chapter count is most likely going to change!

BROKEN IN THE WAYS NO ONE SEES: Next chapter is in the works and is full of fluff like promised <3 Can't wait to share it!

WHEN YOU GET TWO GRANDSONS: Next chapter is nearly done so working to finish that up and then edit and post. Get ready to get some Wasuke character lore! hehe!

SPOUSE WANTED: Next chapter is coming along and again, hoping to finish it soon to post up! Going to be one readers have been anticipating!

CULTURALLY INAPPROPRIATE: The sequel to Historically Inaccurate! Continuing Yuuji and Sukuna's journey figuring themselves out while throwing in meeting other vessels and the Culling Games...what could go wrong.

LESSONS IN ACCIDENTAL SEDUCTION: Next chapter in slow progress! Just a lot of moving pieces to handle as we skip to the twins now being older and being Sukuna's assistants in chaos lol

THE YUUJI FILES: Working on the outline for the next chapter...the long-time fans still sticking it out are going to scream when this chapter drops hehe! WHO'S A GOOD BOY: Slowly poking at it. Need to rework some things to get it where I want. MIRRORED LIVES: Need to rework this story and get it more on its own two legs. It was half-baked and parts of its went to other stories in terms of plot so...gotta really get its own identity down.

LONGFIC UPDATES: MY HERO ACADAMIA

JEALOUSY IS NOT A GOOD FRIEND: Good progress for the next chapter! Hoping to get it out this weekend

UNSUNG HEROES: Want to write it SHO bad! AHhh! Need to make time to work on it…

A RUT TIME OF IT: On the backburner for now c:

ONE -SHOTS

Pull Me Along if I Can’t Move Forward: Deku/Bakugo fic that is so slowly being written....

Heatwaves and Curses Don't Mix Slow boat to being done....

Once Upon a Blob: Sukuna, now Blobkuna, has a plan to get his body back and it involves the old fairy tale cliche of love's true kiss. Chaos ensures.

And That's When I knew It (Might change the title though!): A silly Uraraka/Kirishima one-shot where something horribly embarrassing happens and feelings are had (and spice XD)

Rituals of Ascension: ABO in the Heian era involving bitching and just pwp ….

FICS TO COME

Exploration: ABO Modern Sukuita fic on the slow boat to being written

Unnamed: Kugikuna fic because I'm in a mood to write something for em…

We Wretched Few: Fleshing out the idea and preparing it for pre-producting

Law Meets Disorder: Slowing down on it as I work to get it mapped out properly, but it is in the works for pre-production!

The Dragon Story: I am worldbuilding so much for this one…debating if I might try to manga page draw it? We'll see…

#Maca updates #fic writing inbound #things to come!#so much to write so little time

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dcbbw · 7 months ago

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The Odd Couples

Hi, tumblrs! I’m back with yet another AU of one of my favorite AUs: it’s the DC gang, paired differently.

(I know I haven’t written anything DC AU-related in a long ass five minutes, and I swear Chapter 6 of the original series is practically ready to post, just needs a deep-dive edit)

So, this story is the product of two separate ideas: First, what if I hadn’t followed canon/fanon/personal head canons when pairing the couples up/off? And the second idea comes from the What If episode of Friends where that gang ends up with someone different (Phoebe x Ross, Monica x Joey, Rachel x Chandler).

Side note: Using throwback DC crew (Liam, Riley, Max, Leo, Liv, Drake, Madeleine, and Penelope). Also, check out the link to Leo’s shirt (if you make it that far). It’s the Leo-est shirt ever IMHO)

Side Note 2: Mixing the pairings up means I have/will be writing pairings that others write/have written and are generally associated with said writer(s). While I am fully aware that no one owns ships, I realize this is a fandom and strive to be mindful of those who write rareships and respect their pairings.

This is simply my take on my version of these characters when coupled differently in my world.

To those who read over this story in parcels, pieces, and in whole ...THANK YOU!

For those who do read this fic, THANK YOU! Your likes, comments, and/or reblogs are appreciated more than you realize.

Please excuse any and all typos, missing/extraneous words, and/or grammatical errors. Microsoft Editor rates this piece as 99% error free.

I’ll be back sooner rather than later with a submission for Hana Lee Appreciation Week, an angsty Driam/Riley love triangle, and some Stormholt.

Song Inspo: Moments We Live For (Acoustic Version), In Paradise

Word Count: 4,099

Pairings: SGL x Olivia; Drake x Madeleine; Leo x Riley B; Max x Penelope

Rating: M for Mature themes

SGL x Liv

Liam Rys tipsily followed Olivia Nervakis into the hotel room, hip-checking the door to shut it while Olivia occasionally paused her steps to turn on table lamps. Her black stiletto heels made no noise against the carpet; however, the swish of her highly starched black and white polka-dotted dress sounded scratchy in the silent room.

“Do you have to turn on every light?” Liam complained as he fastened the deadbolt.

“It’s not every light, and not our electric bill,” his girlfriend responded tartly as she flipped yet another switch.

The couple was in Baltimore for the weekend, attending a costume party thrown by Liv’s employer. There had been a buffet; an open bar; and a prize for the best costume, which Liam and Olivia did not win. Carlos Santiago, a member of the Environmental Services team, and his wife and three children came costumed as The Birds and The Bees and won the prize.

Liam and Liv were The Ricardos: Olivia’s red hair was done up in Lucy’s signature poodle hairstyle, and her dress was a dead ringer for the world’s most famous housewife’s iconic frock. He had wanted to wear a tuxedo and carry a conga drum but settled for Ricky’s purple, polka dot silk smoking jacket with shawl collar, black pants, and black velvet slippers.

“I can’t believe we didn’t win!” Liam muttered beneath his breath as he came behind Olivia, arms encircling her waist; his palms splayed against her flat, toned stomach. She responded by leaning against him, her back pressed against his chest.

“Don’t hate!” she admonished. “With those Korean features and Boston accent, no way were you a convincing Cuban band leader. Besides, you have to admit Carlos had a pretty creative idea.”

“Not more creative than my SOCK GAME! I mean, Liv … you gotta admit, it’s damn good tonight!”

He was wearing black, knee-length socks with red hearts inscribed with “I Love Lucy” scattered all over. Olivia rolled her eyes in exasperation at the mention of his sock game.

This man and his socks! Liam thought his sock game could cure cancer and bring about world peace.

“You’re sock game is great as it always is, darling. But it was a costume contest,” Olivia placated in a soothing tone as his fingers began removing bobby pins from her hair.

She spun around, facing her boyfriend as her hair fell in soft curls that framed her face. Her green eyes twinkled as she pressed a quick kiss against his lips.

“You big, spoiled baby,” she teased. “Wanna smoke, take the edge off? I brought a couple of blunts along.”

He quickly shook his head. “No way am I going to be in BALTIMORE off some loud.”

Olivia grabbed the lapels of Liam’s smoking jacket, pulling him closer to her. The tip of her tongue swiped his lower lip. “Makes sense,” she agreed.

Liam pressed his palms against her ass cheeks; he sang softly in her ear as he swayed his hips against hers.

And life is heaven, you see 'Cause I love Lucy, yes I love Lucy And Lucy Loves me!

“My name’s Liv”, Olivia corrected with a giggle as she gently wriggled out of Liam’s embrace. “C’mon, let’s get ready for bed,” she urged as she headed for the bathroom.

Liam stuck out his tongue at her retreating back before glancing around the room. It was a typical hotel room, nothing really standing out or making it different from any other room.

The door that led to the balcony was all glass with a brass doorknob; the hotel promised a 360◦ view of the city’s famed Harbor from the patio. The couple planned to have breakfast there in the morning.

There was a workstation; a large, wall-mounted television; coffee maker and microwave; and the bed: queen-sized, four-poster, and centered against the back wall.

His eyes widened when he saw the wall to the side of the bed. It was covered floor to ceiling, and side to side with a … mirror.

Well, that was different.

Liam approached the bed, kicking off his slippers as he went; he stared curiously at his reflection before climbing atop the bed and resting on his haunches. He then lay on his back, turning his head to continue staring at his reflection.

He impatiently pushed his hair off his forehead before rolling over onto his stomach; pressing his palms against the bedcovers, Liam pushed himself up with his arms, still watching himself. He imagined Liv beneath him, her pale legs scissored across his back as they watched themselves.

This could be fun.

“LIVVY!” he yelled excitedly over the sound of water running in the sink. “There’s a MIRROR! On the WALL! By the BED!”

The water turned off; Olivia sauntered into the room; her face was scrubbed clean of makeup, damp ends of her hair curling, and wearing a red lace bra with matching panties. A sultry smirk curved her lips.

Liam caught sight of her in the mirror’s reflection, and visibly gulped. Liv only wore matching underwear when they were going to have sex.

“Ai yi yi yi”, he muttered as he bounded off the bed and hastily divested himself of the smoking jacket.

Olivia was now standing directly in front of Liam; after guiding him to the other side of the bed, directly against the wall so he could see them both in the mirror, her red-tipped fingernails trailed a path from his throat to his belt buckle before unfastening the belt. She slid to her knees, pulling the pants zipper down with her teeth. Her eyes looked up at Liam.

“Care to hear me do some ‘splaining?” she purred as her hand reached inside the opening and pulled his cock out.

Liam never answered; he was too busy staring at Liv’s reflection as her mouth swallowed his manhood.

Drake x Madeleine

“Open your mouth, and stick out your tongue,” Madeleine demanded.

Drake’s chocolate brown eyes stared up at her before raking over her body, his gaze settling on her chest. “Take off your shirt,” he countered.

Madeleine exhaled a frustrated sigh that fluttered her bangs as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Damnit, Drake! You’re sick, and I need to take your temperature to make sure the meds are working.”

Quickly covering his mouth, Drake Walker let out a series of deep, wet coughs that rattled the congestion in his chest.

“They aren't”, he rasped as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Tits would help. For sure.”

With a horrified look, Madeleine hastily grabbed and thrusted a bottle of hand sanitizer in his face. “WIPE!”

Rolling his eyes, Drake took the bottle; he then complied with his girlfriend’s first request. He slathered the disinfectant over his hands while Madeleine inserted a thermometer under his tongue.

His temperature was 102◦; two degrees lower than it had been three hours ago. Uneasy relief washed over Madeleine’s features.

“You should take the meds on a full stomach. You hungry?”

Drake turned onto his side, adjusting the pillows beneath his head as he did so. “Not really, but we both know you’re gonna harp on it until I give in. I think I have some canned soup in one of the kitchen cabinets.”

Madeleine nodded absently as she stepped into the bathroom to run the instrument under hot water in an attempt to kill the cooties her boyfriend more than likely transferred onto it. She heard Drake’s question when she turned the water off.

“When are you giving up that broom closet you’re living in to move in with me?”

“Don’t start,” Madeleine warned with a shake of her head as she re-entered the bedroom.

“Start what? You’re paying $1300 a month to RENT A ROOM! You could move in here with me and pay HALF that and it would be a whole ass apartment! You could start saving, pay down that credit card debt of yours …”

“I prefer to have my own, Drake!”

Madeleine’s boyfriend rolled his eyes. “You HAVE your own RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! Clothes! Shoes! Makeup! Oat milk! And if we’re talking preferences, I prefer to wake up with you in my bed every morning. I prefer to glare and glower at you from across the room when we argue instead of sitting on the phone in awkward silence. I prefer to not have to wait for make-up sex!”

Madeleine shifted uncomfortably, scuffing the toe of her sneaker against the carpet. Her green eyes peeked up to sneak a glance at Drake, whose bleary eyes stared at her with a mixture of frustration and hopefulness. His fingers idly played in his chest hair.

“Why won’t you just accept this greatness?” he huffed accusingly.

Madeleine rolled her eyes in a here we go again way.

She and Drake were in love with each other. They were the odd couple of the group: The WASP and the Blue-Collar Worker, but they fit each other like a glove. Most of the time.

Cohabitation should have been the next logical step in their relationship.

Madeleine found it nice to come to his U Street apartment after work and find him cooking them dinner while she mixed killer cocktails to help them unwind from their day.

Or for her to be the first one awake and cook them breakfast, making sure to prepare the thick-cut bacon he liked, and brew the dark-roast coffee that was his favorite before sharing morning-breath kisses.

Drake making sure Madeleine had the apricot and cream body wash that cost a small fortune, and high thread count Egyptian cotton towels she insisted upon for her showers.

While their relationship was highly sexual, it was not sexually based. There were debates and discussions covering a gambit from international events and politics to cooking meats with mustard. The only thing they could never agree on was music: Madeleine was a Swiftie, and Drake was 70s rock and country. They shared a love of exercise and the outdoors; weekends usually found them taking day trips to Shenandoah to hike the trails, snacking on the beef jerky Drake loved and Madeleine tolerated.

But people broke up all the time … over the most minute and ridiculous things. And Madeleine knew she could be an anal-retentive pill most of the time. She wasn’t going to be heartbroken and house hunting if things went south with Drake.

Madeleine had been instilled from an early age that God blessed the child that had their own.

“I’m not going to be that chick if we don’t work out," she stated in a small but firm voice as she sat at the foot of the bed; close enough to show support and comfort, far enough away to maybe being in a germ-free zone.

“You’re saying that after I just asked you to move in with me for the 100th time?” Drake huffed before another coughing fit overtook him.

While Drake hacked up a lung, Madeleine looked around the bedroom, wondering if he had any masks around. The couple locked eyes briefly, chocolate fastened on emerald.

“You could dump me at Target or something!” she countered as she alternated between awkwardly patting his back and scooting further away from him.

When the coughing subsided, Drake pointed to the nightstand on Madeleine’s side of the bed.

“Masks. Bottom drawer.”

Drake knew her.

“As for dumping you, you don’t shop at Target; it’d have to be Macy’s.”

So well.

Leo x Riley B.

Leo Rys hefted an oversized, too-full sriracha red snapper taco in both hands before greedily biting into it. He let out a low grunt of satisfaction as flavors and spices exploded over his tongue and crumbles of taco shell fell onto his plate.

Saturday afternoons couldn’t get much better than this: wearing his most comfortable shirt; hanging with his girlfriend Riley Brooks, who was his favorite person in the world; and lunch at his new favorite eatery, Tia Maria Tacos. Bonus: they had scored an upstairs window booth that overlooked the Potomac River.

Normally for the pair, Saturdays were for sleeping in and being lazy; 24 hours of partial nudity and horizontal positions suited them just fine after clocking out of work on a Friday afternoon. Especially if they had worked a full week.

But Riley had been in a funk lately; she had been to five job interviews over the past month; good interviews, where she had been a top-two contender. However, that hadn’t been good enough. Riley had been passed over every time, for each job.

Requests for feedback had not been helpful; hiring managers told her they couldn’t go wrong regardless of who they chose for the position. Riley’s ego was bruised, her esteem low. Despite her having a job that she had worked for the past 10 years ... a job she did damn well ... she was now comparing herself to Penelope, for Chrissakes.

Leo knew he had to do something, so he planned Date Day.

They began at Lincoln’s Waffle House for breakfast followed by a couples’ massage in Cleveland Park. Riley wanted to visit a tarot shop; Leo was agreeable. They both got readings, and she purchased a deck of tarot cards along with a strand of chakra beads.

From there they went to Georgetown, navigating the crowds and perusing shops. A French bakery was offering a European tea meal; Riley looked at Leo with hopeful eyes that quickly filled with dismay at his emphatic refusal. An hour later, laden with bags from a vintage clothing shop, a sex store, and a spice-filled storefront, they decided they were hungry; Leo suggested tacos.

He took a long swallow from his bottle of beer, his gaze fixed on Riley who had a plate filled key lime shrimp, Korean BBQ, and spicy chicken tacos, along with a serving of nacho fries. She felt his gaze and looked up to smile at him before taking a healthy bite of the shrimp taco.

Her eyes widened with surprise before closing in bliss.

“Hmmmmmm, this is soooooo good, Leo! I mean, it ain’t Chinese food but still like, hella good! Thank you for suggesting this place!” she said around a mouthful of food.

“Anytime, boo,” he replied with a wink as he reached into her plate for fries covered in nacho cheese and seasoned ground beef.

“And thank you for cheering me up today. It’s the reminder I needed that the Universe is just doing what it does, and all those hiring managers are just bitches and heifers.”

Leo dragged his fork through seasoned beans and rice. “They weren’t the jobs for you,” he assured her. “YOU are smart, funny, kind, and the greatest asset any person or job can have, and the right organization will recognize that. Not to mention you’re fucking gorgeous, and do you have any idea how hot you are?”

Riley bit into the spicy chicken taco, and quickly took a sip of her Sierra Mist with lemon. She nodded at Leo. “How hot I am? Yeah, I know ... and the answer is not very.”

Leo chuckled as he shook his head. This woman.

He and Riley were the couple that were never supposed to be. Both had had extremely bad luck with love, resulting in deeply rooted trust issues; the issues were more prevalent on Riley’s end than Leo’s.

They were both ambiverts, which loosely translated meant that there was no guarantee that plans made at 10am would still be in effect at 5pm. And you couldn’t be angry about it.

Physically, neither was the other’s type. Leo was a touch too lanky and fit for the buxom Riley; for Leo, Riley had a few too many inches in height, and was a tad curvier than he was used to. They met via Tinder, and it was supposed to be a one-night stand.

But their chemistry was off the charts.

But the sex was too good.

But their pillow talk left them curious to know more about each other while fully clothed.

Long story short … she kept him wild, and he kept her safe.

Before Leo could reassure his girlfriend that she was indeed VERY hot, her eyes trained on someone at a table near the back wall; they narrowed in anger as she tossed her food onto her plate while muttering, “What the actual FUCK?”

Leo looked around puzzled, wondering WHO happened. Because with Riley, it was never a what. If he could change two things about his woman, it would be her incredible grudge-holding talents and her penchant for public confrontation.

Only one table in the far corner was occupied. A Latina, facing them, was excitedly showing off one of her purchases to her male companion; Leo squinted, determining that the girl was proudly displaying a pair of earrings.

He swung back around, a look of confusion on his face. “Who are we hating on here?”

Riley dramatically pointed her index finger at the Latina. “HER! She told me I was a SHOO-IN for that freaking job!! AND THEN WENT WITH SOMEONE ELSE!”

Leo looked even more confused. “Which job? There were five of them!”

Riley didn’t answer. She was too busy scowling at the woman across the room while alternating between shaking her fist and making symbols with her fingers.

“Babe, what are you doing?”

“Throwing gang signs!”

“DC DOESN’T HAVE GANGS!” Leo argued.

“IT DOES NOW!!”

So much for a peaceful outing and letting the Universe do its thing.

Maxwell x Penelope

“I cannot believe you right now, Pen!” Maxwell Beaumont seethed as he rubbed the heels of his hands against his closed eyes.

The Communications and Marketing Director inhaled and exhaled deeply, slowly. It was rare that anyone or anything upset Maxwell, much less angered him; but if anyone could knock him off his equilibrium, for certain it was his girlfriend, Penelope.

His girlfriend stared at him with her wide, pansy-blue eyes before quickly licking her pink-glossed lips. She ran slender, pale fingers through her black hair, then tightened the belt of her pink silk robe. Penelope outstretched her arm, her fingertips grazing the fabric of her boyfriend’s shirt; at his look of frustrated rage, she quickly pulled her hand back.

“Max,” she began in her breathy voice, “I know you’re upset with me, but I HAD to leave that godawful job! The commute sucked and who knew data entry was so … exacting? It’s a miracle I lasted as long as I did!”

By the time she finished her explanation, her hands were gesticulating wildly about, and her tone of voice had become a shriek.

Maxwell turned his back on Penelope to go into their kitchen; still hot Italian food sat on the stove, wrapped in plastic bags. He hollered at her while he began unpacking what was supposed to be a celebratory dinner for Penelope’s new job.

“IT WAS A TELEWORK POSITION! That you were LATE for BOTH DAYS you worked! And it was MAIL MERGE, NOT DATA ENTRY!” He turned to glare daggers at her. “I don’t know what’s worse, the fact you put forth entirely ZERO effort into at least TRYING to become a member of the working class, or that you lied to me the entire week about still having the damn job!”

An angry retort sprang to her lips; Penelope debated continuing the argument but thought better of it. She had known the lie would catch up with her, but she had been hoping it would have been after the dinner. Carmine’s had the most amazing food, and Penelope was in love with their broiled Lobster Oreganata, Porterhouse Pizzaiola, and pasta with meatballs and sausage.

With Maxwell’s back facing her, Penelope quietly tiptoed into the kitchen, trying to neither be seen nor heard. She peered over her potentially ex-boyfriend's shoulder, salivating at the sight and smells of containers filled with pastas, meats, and sauces.

Maxwell felt his girlfriend’s eyes on him and exhaled a silent breath. He should have known from their first meeting that Penelope was not relationship material.

They met at 9:30am on the elevator at the office building Max worked in; it was Penelope’s first day at a company occupying the entire third floor. At 11am, Max was back on the elevator hellbent on a Starbucks run; the elevator stopped at the third floor and Penelope entered, her blue eyes filled with tears.

She had been let go from her new job in less than 90 minutes.

Max was a sucker for a damsel in distress. He dried Penelope’s tears, treated her to a coffee, and offered to take her out on a date. That had been over two years ago, and if the woman had worked a cumulative 40-hour work week since, he knew nothing about it.

He had asked the gang if their companies were hiring; Liam laughed so hard, his drink came out of his nose. Riley, who worked with Max, rolled her eyes as she muttered, “You already know.” Everyone else shook their heads vigorously.

For a brief period, he had even let her be a stay-at-home girlfriend, but that definitely didn’t work out; Penelope couldn’t cook and had no concept of housekeeping. He had to pull from his savings to replace his wardrobe when she tossed his lights, darks and half a bottle of bleach into the washing machine. She was asleep when he left for work, and asleep when he returned home.

Irresponsible was too inadequate of a word to describe his girlfriend. She was a money pit in addition to being careless, thoughtless, and an emotional vampire.

But Maxwell Beaumont loved Penelope Ebrim. She could be sweet, buying him small gifts that brought a smile to his face. She mixed mean cocktails, had a killer sense of humor, and was a terrific dancer. She just needed to find her way.

Apparently, God had chosen Max to help her do so.

“Pen, you have GOT to find and keep a job!” Max stated in a firm tone that brooked no argument as he prepared her a plate of lobster, pasta with garlic and oil, and shrimp parmigiana.

When Penelope saw Maxwell piling a plate with Italian yumminess, she had moved to the cabinets to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. She was setting them on the dinette table as she debated coming clean in her reply.

“I may have found something; I’m supposed to have an interview Monday.”

Max set the serving spoon down as be swung his head to look at his girlfriend in surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I was waiting until afterwards so I could surprise you!” Penelope crowed happily.

“Well, where? With who?” Max’s smile covered his entire face as he resumed plating food.

Maybe things were looking up.

Penelope expertly removed the wine bottle’s cork and began pouring sparkling merlot into the glasses.

“The interview is at The Greene Turtle, and it’s with a temp agency called Daddy’s Little Girl. Basically, I would be having lunches and meetings at hotels with older men for an hourly rate.”

Maxwell had plates in both hands, which he slowly lowered onto the kitchen counter; his every movement displayed his disbelief. There was no way his girlfriend had applied for a job as an escort.

No.Way.

“You’re going to be a prostitute?” he choked out.

Penelope had just taken her seat. She looked up at Maxwell in horror at his words.

“NO!! Why would you say THAT? How could you even THINK THAT of me??’ It’s like lunch meetings or something!”

“NAKED LUNCH! Pen, NO ONE is paying a woman … a PRETTY WOMAN … to just “have lunch”!! And meetings in HOTEL ROOMS? What the ACTUAL fuck?”

“It’s working lunches, sometimes dinners, with out-of-town business entrepreneurs who need someone to take dictation!”

Max’s face dropped into his open palm.

“The going rate is $150 an hour! I was told with my looks and appearance, I could be in huge demand,” Penelope argued.

“WHEN DID THEY SEE YOU?” Max yelled as he threateningly shook a plastic spatula in Penelope’s direction.

“I saw the ad on Craigslist and called the number in the listing, then did a Zoom with the manager.”

Maxwell Beaumont stared at his girlfriend for a long, silent moment before exiting the kitchen and heading for their bedroom.

“MAX! Where are you going??”

“To have a talk with God.”

Penelope stared at his retreating back with a furrowed brow before shrugging and rising to fetch her dinner.

“Tell Him I said heyyyy.”

Max’s response was to slam the bedroom door.

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