#I may mourn what was lost but I don't have to pay for it. I may fret about the future (though that's not recommended)

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

(religion discussion tw, probably inferrable as negative to xtianity but mostly just me being BAFFLED.)

tl;dr I am SO glad the gods I follow don't blackmail me for their forgiveness. And so very grateful my goddess doesn't demand repayment for making mistakes.

I didn't realize it until recent years, but one of the things about xtianity that bothers me at this age is the whole thing that's like... "sin must be paid for in blood to be forgiven."

That doesn't feel like forgiveness.

That feels like PAYBACK.

"Eye for an eye, blood for blood."

Is that really what you want to base your morality on? You know that phrase that goes, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"?

"You made this deity mad, so now you have to sacrifice something (or have something sacrificed for you / indulgences / etc.) to be able to have the eternal life this deity promised you."

Like?

???????

I don't have good words for this and I'm not writing a collegiate essay here, I'm just kind of venting New Thoughts. Reblogs are off because I don't want bad-faith engagement with this.

I don't even want an eternal afterlife (I believe deeply in reincarnation), but if I *did*, when I did, why would I want an afterlife based on vengeance and repayment?

I had the revelation not too long ago (a year, two years ago?), while reading... something from a recommended reading list for believing in yourself, something that was written from an xtian perspective (The Dream Giver maybe?), and I realized...

My religion has NEVER used fear to control people.

My priestess doesn't make threats to coerce her people into decisions.

There's more freedom of will than xtianity has ever given me, because I am not making my decisions for fear of the consequences.

I am making my decision with true FREEDOM. With truly my OWN judgement. Truly, deeply, absolutely 100% free to make whatever decisions I want.

And she won't try to stop me!

Yes, there will be consequences, whatever I do. But I'm not staking my entire soul on them.

I can make a mistake, and I don't have to prostrate myself and beg forgiveness for it to pass by and allow me to grow.

I can make a bad decision, even one that flies directly against my creed, and I don't have to lean on blood sacrifice to promise me I'll be okay.

I am my own redemption.

It just bemuses me very deeply, the more distance I put between myself and the xtian faith, that this religion that claims to be of compassion and forgiveness is truly about blood sacrifice.

Like, that's the whole Thing with the Christ in Christian, Jesus's Blood Sacrifice.

Because your God wouldn't have forgiven us if something didn't shed blood over it. Whether animal or man or demigod.

He had to sacrifice his "only begotten son" to forgive the world for its sins.

Of being human.

Of making mistakes.

Of being a species that is forever learning and striving and toiling, and which has emotions and limited perspectives and shortsightedness built into our amygdalas, whose powers of reason and kindness can be overcome by the most basic functions of our sympathetic nervous system.

Supposedly he made us that way, and then got mad at us for it?

I could never follow a god that does that.

Granted, my "goddess" at this phase of my life has a bit of a.... hands-off approach. And I think I function best like that. Give me guidance when I seek it, but don't meddle in my affairs. I'm certain there's Something she's working in my life. I'm not entirely sure what she's trying to do, but I'm determined to figure it out! She gives me pretty free rein with the whole Life Mission thing.

I know that she's working through me, and I know that in recent years I've strayed a bit. There's been a lot to process...

But she doesn't make me "make up for it". She doesn't scold me, or smite me, or demand groveling.

Granted, I actively sought her out. (There's some Weirdness with my spirit guide kind of being the whole reason, but like. There was fondness there through her long before I was actually TAKEN there...)

Anyways, my point is, even choosing to follow her lead has been My Decision, made entirely of My Own Free Will. There was no threat upon inaction, no carrot and no stick, no call for blood to be spilled (quite the opposite, actually-- a call to AVOID it!).

And now that I have escaped the internalized Looming Threat of Disapproval From On High, I can look at it and wonder where love fits into that picture.

I never respected my parents for punishing me for making an honest mistake.

Why should I be asked to respect that from a god?

[convenientalias]

Why Nirvana in Fire Wins at Revenge Story with Identity Porn

Nirvana in Fire was my first ever cdrama that was a revenge story with identity porn. Since then, I've seen many other dramas along similar lines. A League of Nobleman. Blood of Youth. City of Streamer. Fighting for Love. Legend of Anle. Long Ballad. Princess Weiyoung. Rise of Phoenixes. Sword Dynasty. Weaving a Tale of Love. Word of Honor. Some of them are quite good but none of them really hit the same way. So, apart from the fact that it was the first one I ever watched, I thought I'd made a brief list of reasons why I think Nirvana in Fire is the best.

Lin Shu's Identity

I just appreciate that when shit went down and Lin Shu's whole family and army and many of his friends were killed and he became a man on the run, he was a full-grown man (okay, still pretty young, but definitely not a child) with his own life and even an army position.

A lot of these identity porn dramas will have their MCs meeting ppl for the first time in many years, in disguise, but they only knew these ppl when they were children. Childhood friends are great and all that, but can they hit as hard as the complicated, fleshed out relationships that Lin Shu had and lost? He had a friendship of many years with Jingyan. He had an engagement and a longstanding friendship with Nihuang. He has friends from the army, younger cousins playing the role of "we don't even understand what happened back then and maybe that's better", older friends and relations who he actually knew as an adult.

Simultaneously, his past identity increases the threat of discovery for Lin Shu. He's a known factor to many, many people in the capital. Yes, they think he's dead. But small things like a hazelnut allergy or his mannerisms or his previous friendships with people are still memorable enough that even with a completely different face, if he's not careful, he might give himself away. He's not infiltrating a group of strangers or people who only knew him as a kid. He's infiltrating a group of people who were close to him for many, many years of his life.

HOWEVER. Lin Shu's identity is not so important that everyone in the capital is still obsessed with him twelve years later (with some exceptions). This isn't Mysterious Lotus Casebook where we're all still pining for Li Xiangyi, because...

2. The Chiyan Case Wasn't Even About Lin Shu?? (Also, No One Cares About That Ancient History Anymore (Jingyan, Sit Down))

The Chiyan case wasn't about the Lin family at all, really.

No one specifically wanted Lin Shu dead or had a big grudge against his dad or anything. It's all about power, military and political. For some conspirators, it was just about getting a leg up in court. But mostly, it was about Prince Qi, the previous crown prince. The Lin family just happened to be friends with him and ended up in an uncomfortable (highly murderable and frameable) position.

Lin Shu may mourn his family, but for the majority of the show, he doesn't talk about it. He doesn't talk about his mother and his family back at the capital either committing suicide or being killed indiscriminately. He only mentions his father's name a handful of times in the whole show. Lin Shu's drive is that his father's ARMY was killed, tens of thousands of men. That's the weight on Lin Shu's shoulders: the death of all these innocent men because they were in the way. The Chiyan Case; the Chiyan Massacre. The denouement of Lin Shu's victory (not to give too many spoilers) is not just his father's name being cleared of a treason charge. It's when there's finally a memorial put up for the Chiyan Army, with memorial tablets that he can publicly visit to pay respects.

Why does this make it a better revenge story with identity porn? A couple reasons. First, Lin Shu is very much the center of the story and has very personal beef, but he treats himself like a tool and his objective isn't about himself or familial connections (they're part of it but they're not everything). He doesn't even know all the people he's avenging. That's fine; he'll still carry that weight. I just think it's neat.

Second, the fact that the Lin family (and the whole Chiyan Army) were really just collateral damage for getting rid of Prince Qi really emphasizes just how careless the current regime is of the value of human life.

Third, as Meng Zhi says when Lin Shu comes to the capital, everyone at court is busy with their own little power struggles and no one has time to care about Lin Shu or protect him. Lin Shu's like yeah that's fine :) I'm not anyone's focus anymore and the Lin family has been swept under the rug like we never existed :) and no one even talks about the Chiyan case anymore for fear of being accuse of treason :) that's all okay because I'm about TO MAKE THIS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM ANYWAY and honestly the fact that everyone's trying their hardest to forget will just make them more oblivious when I come to fuck them up.

3. All Of This is Whose Fault, Again?

That's right, folks, we're in a show that knows that when shit goes down at court and your family gets framed for treason and the emperor orders them executed, sure, you can blame the conspirators who framed them all you want, but also, YOU KIND OF DO HAVE TO BLAME THE EMPEROR.

People have said enough about how great this is on a thematic level of accountability but seriously I've seen so many shows dodge this. ~It's not the emperor's fault bc he was misled by these conspirators~ or ~the emperor is only a puppet emperor, if he actually had power instead of this evil person, he would put everything right.~ Or, if they dare to blame the emperor, maybe he's just an evil emperor and was bad all along. NIF says yeah, he was lied to on many levels. There was a whole complicated conspiracy going on and many people to blame. But he could have taken things slower. He could have required better evidence. He could have trusted people who had supported him for many years, at least enough to listen to their side of the story BEFORE KILLING THEM. And why didn't he? It's not because he's an idiot. It's because he's an emperor, and emperors don't like seeing other people gain enough power to even potentially become a threat. It's because he wasn't looking for the truth, he was looking for an excuse to kill. And he's not unusually evil for that; this kind of callousness towards murder and grasping for power at all costs is more the norm at court than any kind of honor or morality.

The Emperor's a nice guy sometimes! He used to fly kites with Lin Shu when he was young! His sons give him a headache, but honestly, relatable, they'd give you a headache too! He likes Consort Jing and honestly, who wouldn't! And he killed one of his sons, one of his closest friends, and an entire army, and he would do it again without hesitation. He's not especially evil. Being an emperor is bad enough.

4. Other Bad Guys

It's worth mentioning that Lin Shu's opponents are not stupid.

Xie Yu and Xia Jiang, Prince Yu and the Crown Prince, even the Empress and Noble Consort Yue: They aren't all geniuses, but they aren't idiots flailing around in spite. They're pretty smart, and if Lin Shu wants to take them down, he has to be smarter.

It's also worth mentioning that this is not one of those shows where the protagonist happens to take down his opponents mostly by standing still and just defending himself when they lash out at him. This seems like an obvious thing in a revenge drama, but the number of times I've seen the opposite, the protagonist swearing revenge and then just struggling with self preservation.... but no. Lin Shu has A Plan. He is going to be proactive and actually take his enemies down. Admittedly he will do this by revealing their past misdeeds but this isn't a case of "the misdeeds will just happen to pop up". This is a case of "I will actively unearth skeletons from where you threw them in a well in an abandoned manor".

TO SUM UP

Without going into the things that make Nirvana in Fire a great show in general (great acting, good pacing and plotting, good costuming, and so on and so forth) I think the main things that make it hit for me as a revenge story with identity porn are 1) letting the MC's past identity be that of a grown man who actually had a life (more connections to the past, but also more to lose and more danger in the present as a result), 2) the fact that the offense that the MC is avenging wasn't even like a personal thing to the offenders (bc! it's fucking infuriating!), 3) the fact that the drama is willing to face the root of the problem (the problem is both corruption at court and the fact that the highest arbiter is flawed, not just individual conspirators), 4) the supply of multiple good antagonists, and 5) LETTING THE MC ACTUALLY, ACTIVELY PURSUE REVENGE AND THAT'S THE MAIN PLOT AND WE AREN'T SPENDING MOST OF OUR SCREENTIME ON SIDEPLOTS AND ROMANCE OR MERE SELF PRESERVATION. These may not seem like large things but my friends, you would be surprised how many revenge dramas I've watched at this point that can't do them.

ok I'm done ranting. Feel like most of this is actually stating the obvious but I'm just in a mood and had to get it out. (...also possibly I've been let down by some revenge dramas lately but I won't get into it. it's okay. we can't all be Nirvana in Fire; only Nirvana in Fire can be Nirvana in Fire.)

[eddiediaaz]

hi guys, i am kind of ashamed and embarrassed to have to do this, but i figured it can't hurt to ask. basically i am really struggling right now (i know a lot of us are). i need financial help, so i set up a ko-fi page ☕

any kind of help would be so appreciated and i am so grateful for anyone taking the time to read this little post.

long story short: because of situations completely out of my control, i lost my job in vfx after almost 8 years and i am now forced to switch careers. i'm going back to school and can't find a part time job even tho i have been working non stop for 15 years. financial aid will only cover my rent, so i absolutely need to work 20 to 30 hours a week to cover the rest of my living expenses, but it's really hard to find a job. i am also currently over 10k cad in debt from my film school loans and credit cards.

signal boost would be appreciated, if you can 💕

my situation in more details under the cut for those who are curious

i was working in the vfx industry as a 2D compositor since 2016 (i have worked on over 40 films and tv shows), but in december of 2023 i lost my job due to the hollywood strikes (as expected, and as it should—i fully support the strikes). this was supposed to be temporary for a couple months where i could get unemployment benefits (only 45% of my usual salary though). unfortunately, on may 31st 2024, my government announced that they are significantly cutting the funding & tax credits for the vfx industry where i live. what does this mean? mass lay offs. thousands of canadians and other people in the world working in the industry are losing their career, including me. there will only be about 20% vfx jobs left where i live by 2025. vfx shops and production houses have already started to close doors here. i'm still mourning this career i have been working in for 8 years and loved, even tho it's been difficult and demanding at times (lots of overtime), but there are just no jobs right now (unless you are a senior vfx artist with decades of experience) and the future will only get more bleak. i could move abroad and follow the industry that is already moving somewhere else, but i don't want to do that on my own (i am already super lonely as it is!!) and i can't afford it.

my unemployment benefits will run out by the last week of september. in 4 weeks. i've been sending resumes everywhere, both online and in person, but i am just not getting anything in return. even tho i have over 15 years of experience working in various jobs and i have never been fired from anywhere. even tho my resume and cover letters are solid because they have been approved my professional counselors (a free service for people under 35 where i live). so much for they're hiring everywhere...

since my vfx compositing skills are very niche and not really applicable to much else, i decided to go back to school, taking college classes in the admin and excecutive assistant fields, since it's something that i think would be good for me and there are lots of jobs for that here. i will be getting some financial aid, but it's nowhere near enough to survive. it will only cover my rent, and that's because my rent is super cheap for my city. my college classes start on september 30 and i am excited for it, but also very stressed because i still don't have a part time job.

i've been living on my own with a small salary for over 10 years now, but it truly is the first time that i'm struggling this hard. i honestly don't have anything worth selling except some taylor swift perfumes, which i sold this week. i also have over 6k of credit debt and another 4.5k of school loans left to pay. at the bare minimum i will need about $1.000 CAD/month to cover my other bills and expenses after rent, hence why the need for a job ASAP. i am desperate and my mental health has been a huge mess. this is why i decided to open my ko-fi accounts. not that i'm expecting much, but anything can help, i think.

i don't have much to offer in exchange, except gifs? i'm wondering if (cheap, low price) gif commissions are a thing? i have no idea know, but i set up a poll on my ko-fi page to see if anyone would be interested.

thank you for reading if you've made it here, it's appreciated 💖

[sickuma]

ORPHIC (2) — A Simon Riley fic.

❱ This is the last part of HIRAETH ! I don't want to drag it any longer than this. It's so much fun writing this and exploring more words to add to my vocab! Everyone's been nice (except when they give me their therapy bills) I love you guys srsly, You make writing so much more fun <3

I should have gotten this done HOURS ago, but I had to do stuff and just finished working out T-T but hey, writing block isn't killing me rn.

ꜝ？This fic may contain heavy topics such as death, depression and melt-downs, if any of those are not to your liking. Please do so exit the fic. Angst warning!

➴ SYNOPSIS — Ghost mourns of what's lost; reminiscing of the memories, apologizing, begging for you to hear his desperation for your presence as he sat Infront of your tombstone.

QUERENCIA — (n.) A place from which a one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

“Relationships in the military,”

He spoke, pausing to stare at your eyes. Searching for hesitance,

“They tend to be tragic.”

“But we’ll be together, no?”

“look , kid, it's not as easy as it sounds—”

“Do you feel the same way?”

You cut him off, not giving him the chance to speak. Catching ‘the’ simon ghost riley off guard, “Yes.” he breathes out.

“Then I don't see the problem, lieutenant, I love you, you love me. That's what barney said.”

He stares at the void, remembering yet again another memory he kept special in his heart. He wondered if you had not pursued him at that exact moment. Would he still feel the raw pain that plagued his heart now? Would it still hurt all the same?

If you hadn't stubbornly shown him how determined and real your love for him was, would he still be in this position, dreading every day that comes knowing the person he needs the most was taken from him.

throwing his gear onto the side. Making his way back to his quarters without giving anyone a second glance,

Ever since you've been gone, the base has been awfully tense. The rest understood his situation, trying their best to be there for him, all while attending to their own duties. The past few weeks had been the hardest, They could tell Ghost had been on edge.

He’d only speak to them if it's necessary, otherwise he’d be kept to himself. As if the past had repeated itself, there appeared a gap between his friends and him. He was mourning, and he plans to keep mourning,

If that means having you on his mind,

Then he’ll mourn forever.

“Ghost?”

Price’s eyes widened at the sight of Ghost, 

It’s the first month since you've passed away and the rest of the team planned to pay you a visit to show respect and also let you know how missed you are, not just by them, but also by Ghost who seemed to have shut his whole world out.

He saw how Ghost shown a tough facade when he would hear him call for her,

At night, when everyone slept, Ghost cried and wept for you to come back. Begging aimlessly for your return,

Begging endlessly to feel your arms around him again.

Price didn't expect him to be joining them. He hadn't been. The team visited your resting place a couple of times before, he’d invite him but he’ll make up reasons not to go. Price figured he still hasn't accepted that's where your body lays,

The ride to their destination felt almost eerie, the tension leading the hour long drive. Nobody dared to speak, not a single word.

Ghost’s mind resides elsewhere, watching the scenery they drove past. Chest heaving up and down as he struggles to fathom that he’d finally visit you, 

No—he was more occupied with thinking about how it’s only been a month.

It felt longer than that. It felt longer than his training days. He felt more exhausted, more agitated, and more angry. He resents every breathing thing he comes across to,

He knew it sounded cruel, but why do they deserve to live and you don't? You have been the kindest, and yet you were taken first. He couldn't understand,

As a soldier he’d lost multiple comrades, having to face funerals—visit the cemetery, and deal with death itself. Though yours felt unreal,

It felt as if his bones were crushed. He knew how pathetic it seemed, clinging onto someone who's never coming back, but he'd rather cling onto the past if it means having to hold you close to his heart forever, where you belonged.

、 

Everyone got out of the car,

Everyone but him.

Price sighed, not planning to pry. If his breath felt shallow just by being here, he could only imagine what Ghost felt at this moment, considering it was his first time to ever be here.

A few minutes passed, and the three sat quietly at first until soap had cracked a dad joke, lifting the atmosphere just a little bit. They spoke as if you were there, sitting with them, price would constantly glace at Ghost, who sat quietly in the car. He wondered what ran through his mind.

“We should give him his own time to talk to [name].” Price groaned as he stretched when he stood up, the two following closely behind him. “He needs this.”

Ghosts' eyes caught them approaching. He felt his stomach sink. He knew he planned to wait until they finished before he took his turn as he expected himself to break down and shed tears. He didn't want them to see that. And yet he still felt his heart beat faster when they came back,

Price threw him a small smile, a smile of empathy.

As if that's his cue, he jumped out of the car. Taking slow strides towards ‘your’ direction. He never thought he could ever despise a cemetery so much in his life,

The only thing he could think of was the way you laid down there, away from his grasp.

No matter how slow he walks, he soon finds himself in front of ‘you’, oh well—a stone that only proved to him that you're gone. “Have you been waiting?”

He couldn't believe it,

He was talking to a mere stone.

But he’ll take what he can get.

“Wake up.” he stared down with an expressionless face, “enough laziness, [name]. Get up from there.”

“You can have all of the shirts you want from me, you can pluck my eyebrows, do it, you can get a puppy. Anything you want just— just wake up.”

His voice betrayed him the more he spoke, 

The longer he looked at the stone, the way he kept reading the credentials written on it, the more it felt real. Every passing second is just another evidence of your disappearance,

“You always call me mean,”

He swallowed,

“Yet you're the one who left first.” his cold gaze softened, the more he looked at the ground. Under the ground where your body laid.

Where the body of his lover slept eternally.

“How do I find you now? Now that I'm stuck here?”

He recollects his promise, the promise to reunite in your next life. It all pierced through him. He’s a soldier, yet he finds himself worrying about the most ridiculous thing. What if you'd reincarnate before he passed?

What if you leave him behind again,

What if this time you find someone else to love?

What will he be then?

“Remember when you'd go on tangents about how fascinating reincarnation and universes are? I believe you now, okay? So— so wait for me.”

He sat down, quietly enjoying the breeze. He couldn't deny the pain of the piercing ache that developed in his chest. It never really went away. He would simply distract himself.

“I find it hard to sleep again, love.”

“The bed feels colder without you in it. Do i sound cheesy? Do not make fun of me. I want to be honest. Maybe doing that would lessen the overbearing hurt in my chest. It’s just—it’s only been a month since youre gone and im already a fucking mess. I mean, look at me,”

He chuckled,

“I look rough, dont i?” he sighed, “would you still find my eyes pretty even when i tire them out by crying?”

He looked away, observing the serenity of the cemetery. He wondered how many souls wandered around, and if yours were one, and if you stood close to him.

“I feel—just terrible. When I woke up, I thought I'd finally lose it, well I did. I caused price trouble, you'd have scolded me. I really did it this time, pushing everyone away as if you'd come back to tell me off. That's not ever happening, and that's what hurts the most.” 

He spoke slowly, yet he felt out of breath.

“It feels suffocating—you know? To live without you.”

“I don't know why I woke up, I wished I didn't. Maybe then I'd be with you.”

“It’s scary, [name], so scary.” he whispered, the rasp of his voice sounding more evident. “I have no certainty if we’ll see each other again; and I need nothing more than to hold—to feel you again. To hear your voice, to take in your scent. If I have to give everything up for that, I will.”

“Anything just to have you back to me.”

He stared at the words engraved on the tomb,

“but if i have to wait decades or centuries—i will—without hesitance, without a blink, i will. For you, I'll keep being patient.”

“That's how worthy you are [name]. So wait for me please, no matter how long it takes for me to find you again, please wait.”

He spoke lowly, but certainly, no matter where you are, he hoped you'd recognize him, hoping you’d recognize his eyes you loved so much,

“Even if it means i'll have to die again and again, i’ll keep searching for you until we’re back home until i can hear your voice call my name again.”

“Wait for me, [name].”

Hoping you’d recognize your Simon.

、 

Somewhere along the memories,

、 

Somewhere along the universe,

、 

Somewhere along life and death,

、 

Somewhere along—

、 

“Simon.”

“Pardon?” he looked at you, puzzled expression written all over his face. “Whatd you just say?”

“My simon.”

We're home.

[markantonys]

My Mom Reacts To: wheel of time season 2 episodes 1-4 (season 1)

episode 1

"if i had to carry water all that way for a bath, i'd get a smaller bathtub" you know what? that is a very fair point. just get a smaller tub, moiraine!

mom, #1 Lan Stan: so, he doesn't have any powers, right? except cunning and strength and loyalty of course me: of course

mom: so liandrin wants nynaeve to become red because she........doesn't want her to have a warder? me doing a great aes sedai truth-telling: nynaeve is really powerful so liandrin wants to recruit her for her own team

my dad predicted moiraine was scamming bayle domon and loved it when it was revealed that she was. as always, not too much commentary from him because he remains silent and seems to not be paying attention for most of the time, only to randomly come out with a completely correct prediction or read on a scene.

"i don't think it's true that neat and tidy things can't be worthwhile 🙄" clearly my mom subscribes more to the Egwene School Of Thought than to the Alanna School Of Thought

lan to moiraine after she is Mean to him: make dinner yourself mom: GOOD FOR YOU

when lan brings her the plate later and puts it on top of the maps: "what if he gets greasy food all over her maps?"

"ugh i hate dark scenes where i can't see anything" [scary fade appears] "okay maybe it's good that i can't see"

episode 2

my mom got all confused about rand's dream of him killing his friends and wondered at first if it was real, please pray for her when tel'aran'rhiod is introduced later

"HE'S BALD??????" all of us when we first saw s2 rand's new look djkfgjh

"they must like him here if he gets free food" my boy, beloved wherever he goes :')

she wasn't particularly fond of mat last season, but he's gotten quite a few laughs so far this season! (notably the moment when we ALL fell in love with New Mat, when he was miming liandrin locking the door)

she gave an annoyed TUH! at elayne dissing egwene's room, but didn't comment further, possibly because i'd just told her 20 seconds earlier that elayne was my favorite character and she didn't want to offend me jdkfgh

she was like "wait, is she blue or green???" during a scene where alanna was wearing a slightly-darker-than-normal green outfit, so i think it was definitely a good call by the show to dress aes sedai in their ajah colors always. hard to keep track otherwise!

after moiraine had her hand on her knife when verin revealed she knew about the dragon: "what was she gonna do?? just stab her right in front of all the others??? that's ridiculous!" djkfjg points were made! poor moiraine just kinda panicked and lost all her braincells for a moment there.

my mom was a randgwene shipper last season so i thought she was gonna be pissed about rand hooking up with a strange new woman whilst egwene mourns his death, but she has not said a single word about that situation yet! i did once catch her reading lanfear's wiki article which she'd gotten onto after reading lan's because "i just want to know what happens to him and i'm not going to read all those books" so maybe she retained some info from lanfear's article that made her suspect something fishy with selene?

she recognized min from s1 right away and hastened to add her to her handwritten character list, when other characters needed a couple scenes to get that honor, and i remember she laughed a lot at min's lines last season and she did again today. guys, if my mom becomes a min stan, i may never recover lmao (i'm mostly kidding, show!min has done nothing wrong and is cool. MOSTLY kidding.)

re: the list, i told her she wasn't allowed to google and print out a list of characters because she would see spoilers, only to accidentally spoil her myself last season by instinctively writing liandrin's name down in the "bad guys" column and making her ask "wait, so she's ACTUALLY a villain, not just mean??", rip (but i played it off as "oh she's just unfriendly to moiraine so that's why i put her there" so we shall see whether or not she ends up being surprised by the black ajah reveal)

when min was saying how she sees glimpses of the pattern, my mom made a connection to perrin seeing the past earlier, which i thought was very interesting! (since we hadn't yet learned that what he saw was actually a sending from the wolves.) min's viewings and wolfbrothers are the two major magical powers that have nothing to do with the one power, and it always minorly bugged me that they don't Fit In to the rest of the magic system (despite my apparently-hypocritical mocking of people who get hung up on lore rules etc haha), so i just thought it was neat to think of them in conjunction with each other.

mom, shocked and dismayed: MAT'S GOING TO KILL RAND???????? me: [vibrating with glee over The Great Cauthor Stabbening]

when nynaeve is taken to the arches: "so is she getting a promotion?"

there was some line during the moiraine-lan divorce that got a big offended gasp from our #1 Lan Stan, but i forget which one it was (it wasn't "we were never equals" it was an earlier one)

my dad just laughed when they first showed suroth and her redonkulus getup jkjfg the correct reaction to the pomp and ceremony of seanchan high blood

episode 3

when the aes sedai were saying nynaeve was ready to take the test my mom was like "NO SHE ISN'T!!!!" and was pressed about them rushing her into it

during the bandit attack in the test: "boy, i wouldn't want to live in this world!"

when nynaeve left the tower my mom was like "is this what happens in the books?!" and i couldn't reveal yet that it was still part of the test so i just instinctively said "you'll see" which is my response to everything, and she was like "no i won't, i'm not reading all these books" lmao

my dad during the version of mashiara playing during the lanaeve reunion: why is "somewhere over the rainbow" playing

sheriam: she wasn't ready mom: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!!!!!!!!!

she was genuinely very upset for a moment because she thought nynaeve was dead, but i think she then guessed pretty quickly that It Ain't Over Yet

scene transition from nynaeve being left in the arches over to the seanchan: "we're going from bad to worse!"

i was dithering over uno's impending death because i didn't want to spoil them but i thought my mom might want a trigger warning, and thankfully my dad went "that horn looks like it's in a dangerous spot" when they first made uno kneel, so i was all clear to say "yeah this is about to get gory" lmao

my dad wondered if suroth was the dark one which fascinated me! i think everyday negroes had the same thought, iirc. i guess it IS the logical conclusion when you know that ishy is the dark one's right-hand man and in this scene we see him being suroth's right-hand man!

my mom thought elayne might be evil or a spy! how could she! i guess she isn't accustomed to wheel of time strangers just being friendly without an ulterior motive djkfg i didn't outright say her theory was wrong because i'm not about to be a booksplainer, but i'm sure i was so visibly baffled at the idea of elayne being evil that i shot down the theory nonetheless haha

when liandrin goes to visit mat again: "how does she have time for all this? she has her sick son, she has mat, and she has whatever else she does at the tower"

when liandrin blames mat for nynaeve's death: "this lady is CRAZY!!"

mat's "is that an 'i'm here to murder you' stare or a 'light i never realized how handsome you are' stare" line was a big hit! love to see my boy getting some appreciation in this house

...............which he promptly squandered when he a) initially left his cell without freeing min too, and b) did not go comfort egwene. but i pointed out that liandrin's been psychologically tormenting him for months into thinking his friends are better off without him, because i couldn't bear to see them judge my boy!

"it's like we're in 18th century france!" was the first thing out of my mom's mouth when they went to the cairhienin party, i'm sure the costume designers would be thrilled!

mom: how did this lady from the poor district get them into a fancy party? and how could she afford these clothes? 🤨 me: 🤷👀

when logain pours out the wine: "AFTER ALL RAND'S HARD WORK TO GET IT!!"

why did my dad laugh when the inn was on fire jdkfg maybe he just likes to see rand have a bad time

mom: jeez, maybe rand shouldn't stay in other people's houses anymore me: i'm sure rand's thinking the same thing

mom at the end of the test: it's so sad that they keep getting glimpses of the nice lives they could've had 😔

episode 4

mom 2 seconds before the camera reveals who the visitor is: is her little sister moiraine? [camera shows moiraine] mom: I GUESSED SOMETHING FOR ONCE

"it's pretty rude to show up to someone's house and then say 'i don't have time to hang out with you'!"

selene: the fire wasn't your fault rand mom: well it kinda was actually

there was some moment where my dad referred to "sneezing and burning down an inn, or whatever he did" and it killed me, i wish i could remember the context bc it was even funnier in context

"i speak with the amyrlin every time i open my mouth" was also a hit! as was perrin asking if he would turn into a wolf and elyas saying "don't be stupid"

mom when moiraine waltzes into the foregate dressed to the nines: i thought she wanted to keep a low profile

just earlier that day we'd been bemoaning the lack of pockets in women's clothing, as one does, so my mom was like "[delighted] now THAT'S a pocket!" when moiraine fit a whole-ass knife into the pocket of her fancy dress. WOT costumers understand the importance of giving girls pockets! lanfear's outfits have a lot too

my dad said "she seems like a bad guy" about selene during the mountaintop scene, he been knew! but he ended up falling asleep and missing the reveal that he was right

meanwhile, mom: "i'm just waiting for a monster to crawl up that cliff and get them"

when alanna & co go through lan's bags to get the poem: "aww, i thought they were his friends! 😔"

mom: too bad moiraine won't just ask her sister about rand, she talked to him at the party! anvaere: so if you want to know where that redheaded boy is, you'll have to ask me very nicely over tea mom: [just as smug as anvaere]

when ishy shows up at min's room: "how is he EVERYWHERE????"

she didn't seem TOO surprised when liandrin attacked the girls, and she clocked that liandrin was working for ishy after this scene with min (or rather, she asked me if that was the case and i said "you'll see")

she let out the fondest chuckle when rand was like "[choking back tears] i'm going to leave now, thank you" he is BABY YOUR HONOR!!!

as the Lanfear Reveal started my mom said "i just knew she was evil" so that must be why she was so silent on the relationship and so un-judgmental of rand, she must've clocked selene's Bad Vibes from the start! or else she retained something from reading lanfear's wiki article a while back lmao

even so, she went "OH MY GOSH!!!!" and clapped her hands over her mouth in shock when moiraine slit lanfear's throat, which i think is one of her biggest reactions to anything in either season so far! the initial stabbing, zero reaction, but the followup throat-slitting, freakout.

the "i'm a monster too" line + Undead Lanfear Moment has her CONVINCED that forsaken are some kind of creatures or zombies, i'm trying to explain they're just humans who are really powerful and evil haha

at the final shot of lanfear: "i'm going to have nightmares! i'll have to go read my murder mystery to calm down before bed." duality of woman

[skayafair]

The thing about Hilbert that doesn't let me move on from this character is The Uselessness/Pointlessness and everything it brings into the picture. Because it was his end, but it also became the center idea of his character somehow? It ties everything into a whole and it's devastating.

Because he made his research or, rather, his aim to create The Cure (pure hubris if you ask me, how bad should one have it to actually believe... goodness gracious) the only thing that mattered. Hilbert discarded everything - his name, his life, his own affections (because as I've noticed on the relisten, to my surprise, he stated that he was actually very fond of the 1st Hephaestus crew more than once, and he obviously respects Eiffel at the very least), his morals (which he still very much has but deems irrelevant unless there's actually room for moral principles to be applied without becoming an obstacle to the research, like belatedly getting Eiffel's consent for the tests), - all in the name of success and saving humanity.

And yet, all of this was for nothing. His virus didn't work despite all the deaths he wanted to justify by succeeding. Instead of creating an ultimate cure he created an ultimate weapon potent enough to threaten an alien civilization on an entirely different level, able to wipe out all the humanity in record time. This is the opposite of what he was pursuing, the opposite of his whole life and its meaning. Like... it's hard to imagine a failure worse than that.

This alone would have probably be enough to keep me stuck for weeks - I mean, what a cruel irony, right?

But what has me hooked even more is the fact that even with all this in mind, I can't say his life or Hilbert himself are pointless or useless. Because even despite his failure at what he deemed to be the only important thing, he still made an impact. People who were supposed to hate him for all he's done were mourning losing him - not too deeply, or it wasn't shown, - and yet Lovelace came to respect him, in a way, and care a bit before his death, and it was him who Minkowski had an imaginary conversation with when having a hard time. Eiffel insisted on having a proper funeral for everyone lost even when Hera was opposed to including Hilbert in it.

It's another layer of irony that the actual impact, his actual legacy he's remembered by turned out to be what he didn't pay much mind to - just... his day to day life and personality.

I know a lot of people are afraid to disappear without a trace, without leaving some noticeable impact on this world. I don't understand this fear on a personal level (please, we'll all be forgotten sooner or later, like millions before us, and the humanity in whole doesn't matter on a cosmic scale), but this is another reason why Hilbert stands out to me. He failed spectacularly in his sole aim he sacrificed everything to, made a lot of people suffer and die, and yet there was a trace left, one he didn't even think and probably didn't know about. You just never know. It's just... no matter how worthless one may feel, they may still be remembered by something good, completely unaware of this. Isn't it reassuring?

[sweethoneyrose83]

Dialogue prompts for Mrs. Afton inspired by the world of Five Nights at Freddy's:

Protective Concern: "Michael, I’ve always told you to stay away from that place. There’s something wrong with those machines, something your father won’t admit."

Tragic Reflection: "I tried to keep this family together, but how can you fix something when the cracks run so deep? He lost himself in those monsters… and now I fear it’s too late for any of us."

Quiet Warning: "You think you know him? You don’t. William’s secrets are buried deeper than you can imagine. If you want to survive, you’ll need to stop digging."

Grief Stricken: "They’re gone… my babies are gone. I never thought this would happen. He promised me it was safe… But nothing is safe around him."

Haunted Presence: "They talk to me, you know. The children. Their voices are faint, like whispers from the shadows. I’ve tried to block them out, but they won’t leave me alone."

Bitter Betrayal: "I stood by him through everything, even when I knew… I knew what he was doing. But I was a fool. A fool to believe love could change a monster."

Confrontation with William: "You said it was all for them, for our family… but all I see is blood on your hands, William. When did we stop being your priority?"

Seeking Redemption: "I have to find a way to make it right. I may not be able to bring them back, but I can stop him. Stop this cycle of death and pain."

Sinister Knowledge: "The machines remember, Michael. They remember everything. Your father might control them, but they’re not loyal to him anymore."

Final Plea: "You still have a chance to escape this nightmare. Don’t follow in his footsteps, Michael. Please, I’ve already lost too much."

Maternal Anguish:

"Do you think I don’t feel it too, William? Every night, the whispers of our lost children haunt me. But I refuse to believe they’re truly gone. Not yet."

Confrontation:

"All those nights you came home late, you thought I didn’t know? The lies, the blood on your hands… I’ve known for far too long, William. And now, it’s time to make you pay."

Regret:

"They trusted us. Their innocent faces, their laughter… it was all supposed to be safe. But now their souls are lost, because of you… because of us."

Determination:

"I will find them, our children. No matter what it takes, no matter how far I have to go. Even if it means facing the very monsters you've created."

Breaking Point:

"Do you think I don't see them, standing there in the dark? I hear their cries, William. Every. Single. Night. You can't ignore what you've done anymore."

The Mother’s Vow:

"They will not rest until you’ve paid for your sins, and neither will I. This ends now, William, one way or another."

Mourning:

"I still see their faces, our little ones. I can almost hear their laughter… but it’s hollow now, distant, like a memory trapped in a nightmare."

Resentment:

"You said you were doing it for them, for our family. But look what you've done. You tore us apart, you tore me apart, all for your twisted experiments."

Reflection:

"What happened to us? We were supposed to be a family. Now, we're nothing more than ghosts in the machines you built."

Final Confrontation:

"You can’t run from this anymore, William. The truth will catch up to you, just like it caught up to me. And when it does… there will be no escape."

Confronting William Afton:

"You promised me, William. Promised you’d leave it all behind. But all I see is your obsession consuming us—our family."

Caring for Her Children:

"Michael, Elizabeth, you stay away from that place. I don’t care what your father says. I’m protecting you both, even if he won’t."

Discovering the Truth:

"I saw the blueprints, William. I know what you’ve been doing. How many more children need to disappear before you stop?"

Ghostly Lament:

"I never wanted this. I wanted a family, not… not monsters. But now I can’t leave. Not until justice is done, for them, for all of them."

Final Goodbye:

"You could have stopped this. You could have chosen us, William. But now? There’s nothing left of the man I loved."

Confronting Michael about the Animatronics:

"I know you’re trying to fix his mistakes, but this path… it will destroy you too, Michael. Please, don't follow in his footsteps."

Reflecting on Elizabeth’s Fate:

"I should have kept you away from that horrible place, Elizabeth. You wanted so badly to be like him, but you deserved so much more."

Haunting William in the Afterlife:

"You think you can hide behind those metal monstrosities, William? But I see you. Even here, I see you. There’s no escaping what you’ve done."

Seeing the Animatronics for the First Time:

"These… these things are your creation? You’ve made them look like children’s friends, but I can see the darkness lurking behind their eyes."

Addressing the Spirits of the Children:

"I don’t expect forgiveness, not from any of you. But I will help you find peace, however long it takes."

[bl-recs-and-reviews]

Hellooo! May i ask your help for something rather silly? Hahahaha. The thing is that i have just finished my internship at a hospital, i was there for a full year, barely existing at all and without seeing my family nor friends, but now i'm a doctor yay. And before that, BL helped me so much with my mental health because it was so light and helped me clear my mind, but since july 2023, when i entered the hospital, i lost total connection with it and i wanted to see if you could tell me what happenned ever since hahahaha, what were your favorite series since then? was there some groundbreaking series like "I told the sunset about you" or "180 grades of solitude passes between us"? What happenned with GMMTV and their actors? like i used to know everyone on the agenda, and now i see that the 2025 pilots are on and i feel lost I used to have full knowledge of your schedules and the shows on air (thanks to you, also. You were my main source of recs) but now i don't know where to start. If you can help me it would mean the world to me :))

Hi anon!! Of course, I'd love to help. This message made me super happy :)

If this was your source of recs then it means the blog is working as it should. So it'll be a pleasure to help you ❤

First things first, welcome back! And congrats on becoming a doctor!

BL recs from July 2023 to now

A lot of things have happened. There's so much BL out there that you'll have to pick and choose what to see. So I'll give you my favorites and I'll highlight some that have gained attention and praise

BL-recs-and-reviews picks

Laws of Attraction

You might recognize them from the bl lakorn Khun Chai. They had a very nice comeback with this legal adventure (or however you wanna call it) show. It has a righteous mourning uncle, an unhinged and shameless lawyer and a very nice grandma. Nice side couple too. A crazy lawyer works together with a righteous man to get justice for the killing of the righetous man's niece.

Be My Favorite

You might already know this one. We were all pleasently surprised by Krist's BL comeback. A great show overall. It was one of the interesting ones that stood it's ground until the end from GMMtv. A man gets a time traveling decive and ends up getting a partner.

Taikan Yohou/My Personal Weatherman

One of my favorites of 2023. To this day I'm still obessing over them. A Must Watch. Japanese BL with BDSM dynamics between the leads. Great and amazing overall. If you don't know what to start with, start with this one! A porn manga artist cohabitates with a weatherman. He takes care of the house chores in exchange for not paying rent. And they have sex whenever it's sunny outside.

I Feel You Linger In The Air

This one has become a classic. It's historical, it has angst and it makes you feel things all the way through. An architect gets thrown into the past and falls for an aristocrat. Time travel and reincarnation stuff is happening.

Love in Translation

The first series that gave us the amazing pair that is DaouOffroad. Lakorn vibes with some iconic NC scenes. A chinese immigrant needs a Thai patner to open his conveniece shop, but they don't really like each other. Shenanigans ensue.

Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite mo ii / If it's with you (aka NaraKoi)

A nice and warm Japanese mini series. These two are the sweetest and cutest babies. They deserve everything. It's once again Japan doing its thing. Teenager love in a very fluffy way. A young gay boy moves to his grandmother's house and gives a chance to love when he meets the nicest local boy.

Utsukushii Kare Eternal - The Movie

If you're a fan of UtsuKare, know that the movie was released for international audiences. It was a great watch and a nice ending for this series.

7 Days Before Valentine

This one I think you might like. It's has the same director as 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us. Similarly not a lot of people watched it, but those who did had quite a treat. A supernatural being appears in front of our protagonist when he's heartbroken and tells him he can erase whomever he likes from this earth.

Ossan's Love Returns

Talented, Brilliant, Incredible, Amazing, Show stopping, Spectacular, Never the same, Totally unique. We LOVED this show. No need to have seen the first season to watch this one. Just about people and their relationships, and loving each other. Big BIG recommendation. Haruta and Maki have trouble adjusting to living together as a couple and end up getting a helper in the house, who just happens to be Chief Kurosawa.

Love for Love's Sake

Lately Korea has been doing great things. This was tiny show that broke and healed our hearts. Pain and happiness hand in hand, with a happy ending. Very deep messages about loving oneself and others. A guy enters a game where he has to make the main character happy.

Unkown

I haven't seen it yet but everybody was loving it on tumblr. It seems to be a solid show that nails the landing. We say "thank you Taiwan". The love story between two brothers (not by blood) who struggle with their feelings for one another.

25ji Akasaka de / At 25:00 in Akasaka

Another Highlight form Japan (am I biased?). It's got 2 emotionally stupid men feeling big feelings and hiding them constantly. Misunderstandings of the good kind and a satisfactory ending. It's so good. Two actors that used to be in the same Uni are now playing lovers in a show, and decide to pretend to be lovers to get into the roles.

Century of Love

We got DaouOffroad back at it again. Giving us a great lakorn-y fantasy show. With some iconic side characters and everything one can love and get from a reincarnation love story plot. A young man's lover dies protecting him on the night they were escaping her imposed marriage, so he uses the power of a goddess to stay alive for the next 100 years vowing to find her again and fulfill their love. Or he dies. But when he finally founds her, she is now a man.

Mr Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Another Japanese highlight. We got a great cast, great food, great characters, and a great plot. Great stuff overall. We have an age gap romance with a charming middle aged man and an earnest young man. A newbie magazine reporter gets to eat the food made by the renowned cook who's articles he's publishing. Feelings ensue.

4 Minutes

Another iconic show. It was the latest Be On Cloud project. Great production and interesting premise. The ending was a bit weak but it did give us some unforgetable scenes. Involving Bible's things. Pretty nice. A rich brat suddenly has the power to see 4 minutes into the future. There's also muder mysteries.

Happy Of The End

Japan being great again. Another one to the pile of unforgetables. This was such an amazing show. Sad hopeless people finding one another and giving each other a reason to live. A guy who sleeps around to live in his lovers's houses get beaten up by another dude and ends up deciding to follow him.

Jack & Joker

The long awaited return of YinWar. It ended recently, so you might be aware of it. Based on an MV they did a while ago they finally got to produce the series. Despite it not being perfect it was great and a fun time. Joke is a thief and cons naive Jack in his youth. Years later after getting out of prison he want to make it up to Jack, but he wants nothing from him and is now a ruthless debt collector.

Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo

The new series from the one and only Hwang Da Seul, Korea's bestest (to my star, etc). A show that had us stuck to the screen for weeks. Here we have a painful love story between two flawed people who despite their surrounding dificulties manage to find their little bubble of peace with each other.

Love In The Big City

This one is a rare thing from Korea. Based on an (almost?) autobiographic novel of the same name it shows us the love life of a gay man in Seoul, and the hardships that come with it. Pretty groundbreaking.

Other remarkable series from Thailand

Wedding Plan: a series from Mame, that has a very different vibe from her usual stuff.

La Pluie: A great show with an interesting side couple. I didn't love it all the way throught but it was a great production and has been widely discussed on tumblr. 🌟

Only Friends: you probably know of this one in one way or another. P'Jojo's show about messy gays. It gave a lot to talk about and everybody has different opinions on the ending. But, for me, the particular highlight was Neo's character, Boston. 🌟

Be Mine Superstar: If you're a fan of JaFirst, know that they did another show. It was cute but not as intense as their other stuff, with very different characters.

Naughty Babe: The long awaited story of MaxNat's couple from Cutie Pie. It was exacrly what was expected and had some iconic CGI and plot points xD

Twins: A less-known and smaller production. FrameRyan gave us great chemistry in a volleyball court with some questionable plot points. But hopefully we will see them again in something else. (also height gap)

Last Twilight: P'Aof's latest project. Looked very promising but the ending was very unsatisfactory. It did the rounds on tumblr but we were all left with a bitter taste in the mouth because of some plot choices.

The Sign: An ambitious project with fantasy and the police. Genres that require a thourough planning and might not have been totally up to the task. However, no other BL has had this type of mythological fantasy before and we got a lot of iconic characters, good and evil, and iconic butts in showers. BillyBabe are now a well know ship. A great watch too. 🌟

Pit Babe: The 1st live action Omegaverse! Wow, what a ride. It was a lot. The omegaverse traits were tweaked enough for it to work out. Unforgetable for many reasons. Pretty good. 🌟

Playboyy: This show was about sex workers and sex. And a dissappearance. I ddin't get to watch it but it was another one of those shows we won't forget for a while.

Cooking Crush: One of the 2 OffGun shows we got. It was cute and fluffy. Not my cup of tea but a lot of people seemed to like it.

Cherry Magic Thailand: The return of TaiNew. It was a great success and they managed to tell the story in a very Thai way, with some very funny scenes.

Dead Friend Forever: Be On Cloud's other project that was released. It shares a lot of its cast with 4minutes and we got a bunch of interesting pairs and actors from it. Drugs, murder and revenge. Interesting to say the least. 🌟

1000 Years Old: Another small production. Featuring a very nice vampire that only wants to find love and show off his umbrellas. It was very cute. Similar to IWKY in vibes.

Knock Knock Boys: Another show that made the rounds around tumblr. The couples were cute and we now love Almond and Latte. Recomended if you want nice fluffy times.

Love Sea: The show that features FortPeat (from LITA) as the main couple. It's adapted from a Mame novel so it has her usual tropes. I think it was overall liked.

The Trainee: The 2nd OffGun show we got this year. It was a great ride with a somewhat ok closure. Very nice way to learn about filming productions.

Two Worlds: Another show made by MaxNat, parallel dimensions, incurable sicknesses and gangsters. It was fun but also confusing. Had a bunch of nice parts.

I Saw You In My Dream: Small production with a bit of a supernatural plot. I haven't finished it yet but what I saw I liked.

The Hidden Moon: Another small production, that I think only one person I follow was posting about it. It has ghosts and supernatural stuff, and it seems to have been pretty great and emotional.

Monster Next Door: This show is a very traditional boys in uni type of show between an introvert and an extrovert. It gave us the pair BigPark who are now getting a second show.

Every You Every Me: Also finished recently it's a show that tells a lot of different love stories but with the same actors. Pretty interesting watch.

Other remarkable series from Japan

One room angel: A heartbreaking story of 2 people finding each other. An angel with no memories and a lowlife. It made us cry, and holds a special place in my heart. 🌟

I Became The Main Role in a BL: Cute, short and fun. Lots of pinning. The happy comedy version of At 25 in Akasaka

Perfect Propose: A cute show about an overworked salary man and his childhood friend who's crashing at his house. It was cute.

Cosmetic Playlover: The story between 2 make up artists and their rivalry turned love story. It had some nice moments, but isn't the best ever.

Takara's Treasure: This one also made the rounds on tumblr. Hiking, a social awkward junior in love with his cool senior. Cute overall, with some deep feelings as Japan knows how to do.

I Cannot Reach You/ Kimi ni wa Todokanai: A guy discovers his closest friend is in love with him and panics, but might also be ok with the idea. It was very cute and emotional. 🌟

Living with him: Two childhood friends who move in together to attend university. One has been in love since forever and the other is discovering feelings. Similar vibes to I Cannot Reach You. 🌟

Hidamari ga Kikoeru/I Hear the Sunspot: Had a solid start but kinda fell apart towards the end, sadly.

Other remarkable series from Korea

Sing My Crush: I haven't seen this yet, but I've seen it be praised over and over. Teens and music. It looks great. 🌟

Love Class s2: This one is not related to its first season, and it has a bunch of couples and a lot of iconic scenes. It is also pretty short.

Why R U Korea: I haven't seen this one yet either, and despite the low buget it seems it's pretty good.

They also have been doing a lot of reel format miniseries, and webseries like Blue Boys and Grey Shelter.

Other remarkable series from Taiwan

Kiseki: Dear to me: This was pretty talked about, the second couple ate.

First note of love: Cute, seen before faces making a comeback.

The on1y one: Made everyone insane. The ending was open, hoping for a second season. Some people were pissed.

Currently Airing

If you want a full schedule I recommend checking the website World of BL. Here are some of the series that are currently airing and that you probably have seen or will be seeing on your dash these days.

See Your Love (Taiwan) (cute and fluffy, pretty unserious)

Love in the air - Koi no Yokan (Japan) (it's a very nice remake and the second couple's story just started)

Caged Again (Thai) (they cuties of the month, animals that run human. We're having a blast)

Your Sky (Thai) (another pair of cuties, very fluff. Has a lot of people writing about it. Started recently)

The Heart Killers (Thai) (We are all OBSESSED. Do tune in, it's fun and silly. It's 10 Things I hate About You thai bl version, sort of)

Fourever You (Thai) (it has Earth and Bas)

Miseinen (Japan) (THE Japanese show right now. I am obsessed and we're all losing it every week)

Perfect 10 liners (Thai) (I don't even know why I'm watching but I'm watching, it's fun and lighthearted but will have too many episodes)

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thai) (Adapted from a Sammon novel, it's murder, euthanasia and gays. It just started and we're seated!)

Things that have happened since July 2023

I recommend checking the tag doreen's monthly bl breakdown where you will find, at the end of every post, the news of the month related to the BL industry. But here are some news I think are pertinent to recent days...

Big unforgettable stuff

The same sex marriage law passed in Thailand!

We're getting a second season of Pit Babe! And everyone is equaly curious and worried.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 started as a very nice season until halfway through it went sideways because of an amnesia plot.

In a surprising turn of events Tul (from MaxTul who left for the US) and Mew (from TharnType) revealed they were dating and recently got engaged.

GMMTV actors stuff

JoongDunk (who I'm assuming you know of), our guys from Hidden Agenda (which was an ok show with some great scenes but a bit forgetable) have been getting a lot of traction are getting a lot of series. I am loving them in The Heart Killers.

There was a sudden transfer of most of the WabiSabi actors to GMMTV. BounPrem, Ohm and Sammy are there. GMMTV also took charge of some of their projects, like the vampire BounPrem one.

The couples in My Rommance Scammer are Ohm (form uwma) and Fluke (from My Ride), and JuniorMark (whothe side couple in Cherry Magic Th and are starring in Perfect 10 Liners.

Dangerous Romance looked promising but it got lost in itself and not even Chimon and Perth could save it. Unfortunately a disappointment. Also, Chimon is on leave for mental health issues, so now Perth is paired up with Santa (from My Only 12%). They're starring in Perfect 10 Liners (where Chimon was supposed to appear but not anymore) and have their own show for 2025: Love You Teacher.

The mains in GMMTV 2025 Head 2 Head, SeaKeen, debuted previously on Only Boo this year. And it was particularly well received, hence why they got a second show.

The main leads for Memoir of Rati are GreatInn who previously starred in Wandee Goodday. Solid start. Weak end. The highlight was the side couple with ThorFluke. Fluke is also starring in one of the stories of Mu Te Luv.

GeminiFourth, from MSP, did the Thai adaptation of My Love Mix Up Th but I think most of us dropped it halfway through.

Recently the show Kidnap ended, featuring Ohm with his new partner Leng. The show was silly and unserious but I think a lot of people dropped it. I didn't watch, but I think it had some success. They appear in GMMTV 2025's OF: Dream on and Mu Te Luv.

Singto is back in GMMtv and scheduled to have a show with Krist again called the Ex Morning.

P'New has made a bunch of show that were disappointing and for GMMTV he had made to ensemble shows: We Are and Perfect 10 Liners. Featuring a lot of couples. In We Are we had PondPhuwin, WinnySatang (from MSP, also have their own show in GMMTV2025), AouBoom, and MarcPoon. In Perfect 10 Liners we have BookForce, PerthSanta, JuniorMark and MarcPoon. Marc got paired up with Poon after the Pawin got accused of physical abuse.

We're still waiting on a lot of shows that were announce in GMMTV 2024's event, so I'm sure you can check the trailers of the ones that haven't been released yet. Or wait until we get the official trailers.

Domundi's stuff

Bed Friend was a success and we got the ship NetJames from it. Until James decided to pursue other things and Net is now with a new partner and they will appear in The Next Prince (the new ZeeNew show, with european royalty looks we're all looking forward to. Also Jimmy is back with a new partner too)

Middleman's Love and Battle of the Writers are 2 shows that starred TutorYim, who were a side couple in Cutie Pie. They've gotten pretty famous.

Other news

We were all hyped for the show Shadow, starring Singto and Fluke (from uwma). The first half was promising but iirc the second part was a little disappointing. I couldn't finish it due to Real Life interruptions.

Ohm (from uwma) starred in a show called Bake me Please, with Guide (who played a side character in I Feel You Linger in the Air) which was ok. In that show we also got to meet Poom, as the rejected second lead.

Poom was the main character of a show called My Stand In, paired with Up (from Lovely Writer) and they play the toxic love between a stunt man and a selfish rich guy.

Tunku Shower no longer exists, it became a different project. No we get our montly japanese bl throught different companies.

China dared to do Wuxia BL with Meet You At The Blossom.

Derived from the succes of Pit Babe, the side couple got they own show in This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans. It was okey.

Thailand did some more adaptations of other countries BL like Addicted Heroin Th. And a remake of Lovesick is still airing.

Ending remarks

If you made it until here, thank you for your patience. I had to do a lot of pick and chose, so I did not include any GL in this post. Just know that there is a lot of that going on too. There are a bunch of posts on tumblr with all the current and planned GLs, and I've reblogged some of them. If you're interested browse the tags #gl news or #gl stuff on my blog.

I think, despite everything, I managed to cover most of it. I'm sure there's some shows that I've missed and we might have different tastes on which shows are better or worse, so do check whatever chatches your fancy. My blurbs are very summarized so do check the pages on MDL or even the trailers if you're curious about them.

This is a lot on information so I hope it's not too overwhelming and it can help you get started on your journey back to BL .

Good luck! And enjoy!!

[noroi1000]

Lost sparkle in the eyes 2

SatoSugu x reader

Warnings: mentioned disease

Words: 2k

@yukiji7w7

"Do not get up."

Satoru rushed over to you, grabbing your sides. Holding you, he gently placed you back on the mattress. Pillows under your head.

"My back hurts, Toru..."

"Give you a massage? More pillows?"

"I'd like to get up..."

"You can not."

"But..." You stopped.

Why are you arguing with him? You're not going to win against them anyway...

You still feel bad about what you did to them... But they... They forgave you, didn't they? You didn't want them to forgive you...

You wanted to die.

And they, as always, prevented you from decorating something bad...

"Shoko has forbidden us to let you get up for any length of time. You can only get up for a minute a day. That's all for now. You cannot exercise. Because you're too weak, and your body hasn't healed yet."

"I feel better now..."

"Better? Better?! You're on drips, we gave you blood because you nearly bled out! You fell 30 goddamn meters! You had broken limbs! Skull! Ribs! Damaged internal organs! I can't forget what I saw! I can't forget what Shoko said about your body! You have a spinal injury that cannot be repaired...! If we tried, the reverse cursed technique could accidentally damage your spinal cord! You would die! That's what you call feeling better?! It is not so easy to recover from this, even for sorcerers!"

His hands hit the mattress next to you. His mouth twisted in anger as he approached you.

"Is it really good for you? Can you really feel better after all this so quickly? No you can't... Because I still can't feel better. Do you think we can trust you after all this?"

"I wouldn't want you to trust him... I wanted you to hate me... If I were dead, I wouldn't need to trust you now... But you... Why must you always take care of me... Why always prefer me over you?"

"Shut up! Don't say anything!" he shouted. His jaw clenched.

Perhaps it was your hoarse voice, but it annoyed him. That you said...

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I did this to you... But it was the only way to make you hate me... Because if you hated me, it would be easier for him to kill himself... Without the remorse that you will mourn for me..."

"If you don't want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, listen to us, okay?"

You nodded.

"Oh, baby, we really mean well for you." He leaned in to kiss your cheek.

"I know."

"Don't be angry with us. We just don't want anything to happen to you. Especially now when something could happen."

"I know."

"(y/n)..."

You looked at him as he said your name.

"Remember we love you." He kissed your lips softly before getting up and leaving the room.

As his tall silhouette disappeared behind the wall, you began to cry, wiping your tears with your hand.

What was it for?

Now you can die in their hands...!

You will live in pain!

Why did you do it anyway? Why did you want to die?

Now there won't be any moment where you can indulge yourself with fun... You won't be able to fall because you might get worse. Especially when you fall on your back.

If you don't listen to them, you'll be in a wheelchair.

If something happens, you'll be paralyzed at least from the waist down...

At what cost did you have to hear that they love you?

It's not fair that you had to pay almost your life to find out that since they take such good care of you, you are the most important thing to them.

You had to die in their hands to know that they love you.

Once you overstrain yourself, you may never get up on your own again.

And because you thought they'd never love you, now you regret your mistakes.

You can't stop them from loving each other.

Especially since they love you just as much.

You put your hands on your face to hide your tears.

And at that moment, Satoru entered the clothes room.

"(y/n)? What happened?" he asked, panicking a bit.

He walked over to you, stroking your head.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad!" He said seeing your shoulders tremble.

He sat next to you, leaning in to hug you.

"Sorry."

Your hands shot out to hug him.

"I'm the one who's sorry... I don't want to live like I have to..." You moaned, pressing your face into his neck.

"We can't turn back time. If we could, we would. For us, the most important thing is that you are with us. Whole and safe. And that we know you'll live. Without the threat of losing you forever..." he said softly. "You want to go outside?"

"I can't feel my legs..." you muttered.

"I'll carry you. To get some air."

As he said this, his hands gently grabbed the needle that was stuck in your vein and pulled it out, turning off the drip.

He pulled you out from under the covers and put shoes on your feet. And also a jacket.

You didn't know if it was hot or cold outside.

But you know for sure it's not winter.

You guess...

He lifted you up gently, being careful not to put pressure on your back.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him as he pulled the hood over your head.

You felt like you were a child and he was making sure you didn't catch a cold.

Was it that cold?

He also put on his thin jacket. However, he walked in it all the time. It was his sorcerer's uniform.

You sat on his forearm as he held you with both hands.

And when he came down the stairs with you, he opened the door to show you that the garden was covered with a cold white fluff.

Why was there snow here?

How long have you been in a coma? How long have you been home?

"I'm kind of happy to finally be able to take you outside, but I'm also worried." He said with a small smile. "Tell me if you feel cold."

"...Is it winter already?" You asked quietly.

"You know... It's been half a year..." he said with a very slight smile.

You widened your eyes.

"We've been waiting half a year for you to regain your strength. And also for you to finally smile at us."

He looked at you with a gentle smile.

Half a year?

How has half a year gone by?

Have you really lost track of time?

You were barely conscious for a while when you woke up. That's all you remember. But so much time has passed.

"But at least you're smiling at us now." He said happily.

He stared at his face.

So happy, but sad at the same time.

You leaned in and kissed his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder.

"What?" He asked.

"what?" you giggled as you cuddled up to him.

"If you wanted a kiss, you could have said."

You lifted your head and he placed his lips on yours.

So that later you can lay your head on his shoulder again.

"You're not too cold?"

"No... I want to stay a while longer..."

"Suguru will be back soon. Probably in a while." he put his jaw on your head, giving you some warmth.

You hid your hands in the sleeves of your jacket.

His hands were so warm on your body...

"Shall we wait for him?"

"Will you last that long?"

"Will you give me a bath later?"

"Yeah."

For 10 minutes he walked with you in the snow-covered garden so as not to stand still.

It wasn't snowing, so you could be outside.

Plus, you were lying on top of him, his warmth giving you some warmth.

You were silted up.

You reacted to everything with a short delay.

Even when Suguru came back and approached you.

You saw them kissing to say hello.

You wanted too...

And then you waited.

Suguru's lips were placed gently on yours.

"Good morning Baby. I'm back." He said placing his forehead against yours.

You smiled slightly at him.

"Let's go back home. She's a little cold." He said placing his hand on your cheek while your nose was slightly red.

"Can you take her? I promised her a bath." Satoru said once you were inside.

Satoru's hands were replaced by Suguru's as he sat down in the chair, taking off your shoes and his with one hand as you sat hugging him.

Not once did he put his foot on the floor.

You took off your jacket with his help.

And then he went with you to the bathroom. You saw that the large bathtub was full of hot water, the water was tinted slightly pink with bubbles.

"What do you think?" White Haired man asked, reaching over to start taking off your clothes.

As he reached for your shirt, you clenched your hands around Suguru blushing.

They laughed at your reaction.

"Honey, we've been dressing and washing you for almost six months. We've seen you naked many times already." Geto said, whispering in your ear.

You put your head deeper into his shoulder.

Giggling quietly, they slowly undressed you.

Then, when you were naked, you landed in Satoru's arms, and you curled up with a red face.

As you looked back at Suguru, you quickly turned around when you saw that he was just standing there naked.

You heard the splash of water.

And then Satoru moved your body, and before you could do anything, he handed you over to Suguru sitting in the tub. It's like you weigh nothing.

You held onto his arms tightly as you feared you would fall.

But to put you gently in the tub, he sat on the edge, and he didn't hold you with his hands alone.

That's why you didn't fall out on him.

But Geto's hands took you over.

And you were gently placed in the warm water between his legs.

You wanted to pull away because when you were close to him you could feel something touching your back. And you knew what it was...

But he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting you against his broad chest as the water came up to your shoulders.

Gojo next to him was undressing. That's why you turned around again. And then you couldn't because the water rose as he stepped inside the tub.

His knees came up as he sat in front of you.

Suguru's legs were slightly bent, underwater.

Satoru's legs over Suguru's legs.

And your legs were placed on Satoru's thighs for you to lie down.

While they wash your body gently using the foam that was in the water.

"You look lovely." Satoru said.

You thought he was talking to Suguru, but he was looking in your direction.

Maybe it's because you blush all the time?

Yes. This is definitely it...

"You have a lovely face. You don't have to be ashamed of us." He said as he stretched your one leg out of the water and washed your thigh with foam.

And Suguru was moving his arms around your sides.

"She looks like she's about to fall asleep, Sugu."

"She's practically falling asleep on top of me already." Suguru chuckled softly, feeling you lean against his body, lying motionless on top of him.

Your eyes were slightly closed as their hands moved pleasantly over your skin.

Satoru pecked your lips suddenly.

"Good night honey. We love you."

"I love you..." you mumbled in your sleep, making them smile.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

The Shadow Falcon | Hidden Depths

ik it’s only been a hour but i need a part two to the shadow falcon, cause im so invested ??!!!? also remus has got to explain why he was like yes beating him almost to death is what you do when you see your long lost brother for the first time in eight years – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: descriptions of past presumed character death

Pairings: intrulogical

Word Count: 3713

The next time Roman wakes up, he's still sore, but mobile. He's just about to try and set his feet on the floor when the door swings open and in walks—yeah, no, he's still not quite wrapped his head around the fact that Logan Hoskins is a.) holding him prisoner, b.) not currently torturing him right now.

"None of that, now," the man in question tuts like a disapproving parent catching a sick child trying to get up, "you're nowhere near ready to do anything more than simple movements."

"Most would consider being able to get out of bed simple."

Logan just gives him a scolding look and crosses the room, setting his hands on his hips until Roman slinks back under the covers and props himself against the pillows. He rolls his eyes—still with that fond exasperation Roman can't quite figure out—and draws over a nearby chair, taking a seat next to the bed. "I'd ask if you needed anything, I'm fairly certain I know the answer. Some food is on its way."

"How generous of you."

He arches an eyebrow. "I am, in fact, being quite generous."

"I didn't say you weren't."

"I'd like to think there's enough mutual respect between us that you won't insult my intelligence by implying I don't understand inflections and tones of voice, thank you."

"Whatever you say."

And yet, Logan doesn't do anything more than lightly swat his less injured shoulder before leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. He tilts his head to the side and, try as he might, Roman can't suppress the small shudder that goes through him at the thought of being under that gaze, already injured. Judging by the way Logan's mouth quirks up just a bit, he may as well have shouted it for the world to hear.

"Remus really did a number on you, didn't he?"

Roman just shrugs. "I did say I didn't blame him."

"Why?"

"I'm pretty sure I said this too—"

"Yes, you feel responsible for his supposed death, and you'd take any sort of pain he inflicts on you as punishment in an attempt to alleviate your own guilt, I'm well aware—"

Wow. Okay. Didn't expect to be in the shrink's office this morning. Also, since when the hell did Logan Hoskins know enough about either of them to—?

Ah. Right. Remus works for him. Might have conveniently forgotten that little part. Does that send a new wave of fear and uncertainty through Roman's body? Perhaps.

"—but that doesn't explain everything."

He snaps himself back to the present. "Are you expecting me to explain everything to you now, then?"

Logan smiles. "See? Despite what you believe, you are capable of being reasonable."

"Didn't take this as your preferred venue for conversation, is all."

"I do mourn the days where one could have a nice cup of tea and a civilized interrogation, but we must adapt to our times. So…" And here he gestures for Roman to speak.

Roman takes a deep breath—or as deep as he can with his cracked rib—and lets it out slowly. "I'd tell you I wasn't expecting to see Remus at the Shadow Falcon, but I think you'd also take that as insult to your intelligence."

The corner of Logan's mouth quirks up again.

"I was on an unrelated mission. Seeing Remus again was…rattling. I wasn't prepared for the emotional consequences." He huffs. "And I also wasn't prepared for you, but—"

"That's not exactly uncommon."

"Rude."

"But accurate," Logan says lightly, "and you're dodging the question."

"What exactly do you want me to say? You already seem to know why I let Remus beat me up, what else do you want to know about it?"

"Why didn't you look for him?"

Roman scoffs and pays truly no attention to the protest of his ribs. "Now who's not operating at the same level of mutual respect?"

Logan tilts his head. "Your brother, your dear, departed brother, vanished in front of you and you didn't so much as look for him, I'm not sure—"

"Did he tell you that?" Roman shakes his head. "It's not true. I don't know what he's told you, but—"

"Careful, now," and just that, just that slightly icy tone has Roman right back in that room, hanging by his wrists, "let's not make this any more uncivilized."

"I'm telling you the truth. I don't know what he's told you—but I can probably guess, based on how you're treating me and how you treat him—"

"What would you know about how I treat him?"

Roman levels him with a glare. "I'd like for you not to insult my intelligence either."

There's a pause. The fans hidden in the ceiling momentarily kick on again. Logan taps his fingers on his knee until he sighs, uncrossing his legs and standing.

"Food will arrive momentarily. Do try and eat it, you'll need to regain your strength."

"Hey," Roman calls as he turns to go, "you haven't explained what you want from me yet."

Logan pauses, glancing over his shoulder with a hand on the doorknob. He smirks again. "What sort of interrogation would this be if I let you know precisely what I wanted?"

"The kind where the likelihood of you getting it increases because I'm not exactly in a position to do much of anything about it right now."

"Keep telling yourself that, little hero." Logan winks and disappears through the door.

Roman sighs, slumping back into the pillows. So. Still a hostage, still don't know what the hell is going on, still trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that Remus is alive.

Holy fuck, Remus is alive.

He forces himself to take deep, slow breaths, trying to keep the machines from going haywire and summoning who-knows-what back to his room to figure out what's going on. He'd done a pretty good job—okay, maybe a halfway decent job—at keeping his cool in front of Logan, he'll be damned if he fucks that up now.

He stares at the wall as he calms himself down, trying to figure out what to do next. HQ would know, no doubt, that he's missing by now, but he's not going to delude himself into thinking any of his trackers are still on him or even remotely near him.

So now he has to play the hostage game.

Great.

***

"Is he awake?"

Logan chuckles as he closes the door, coming to sit next to Remus at the breakfast bar, taking a cup of coffee with him. "Awake, back to his normal quip-throwing self, yes."

"Good."

Logan eases himself onto the bar stool, sipping from the mug as he glances at Remus. He's sitting hunched forward, one hand tapping restlessly on the counter, the other fiddling with the nails on his thumb and index finger as he stares a hole into the stove top.

"You really did do a number on him," he says softly, trying to cross the distance between them.

"I know."

"Not that I don't understand why you did it, but was such a harsh treatment really necessary?"

"I had to be sure."

Logan huffs a laugh into his coffee. "Do his ribs break a certain way that only his brother would know? Are his bruises only formed in a pattern you can recognize?"

"Only Roman would be a big enough fucking idiot to let me beat the shit out of him and then be upset because he can't hug me when I'm done."

Just like that, the humor leaves the room as Logan places a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder. He lets out a shuddering breath and his eyes flutter closed, head tipping forward. After a moment, Logan's hand shifts to card gently through the hair at the nape of his neck. Remus's hand trembles slightly.

"Did you ask him?"

"I did."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me now who wasn't operating at the same level of mutual respect."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, dear."

"Can we find out?"

"I have people on it. We'll figure it out." Logan shifts to scratching lightly at his scalp. "You know, you could try asking him yourself. He's not seen you in a long time—"

"I know he hasn't seen me in a long time, that's the whole fucking point." Remus pulls himself away and paces up and down the length of the bar, twisting his fingers together. "I'm not fucking ready for him to just stare at me like the answer's fucking obvious when he just abandoned me to—"

"Shh, shh, darling, you'll work yourself up." Logan takes Remus's hands in his and gives them a squeeze, looping them around his neck. "I'm not saying you have to like what he says, or even that it'll be the truth."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Roman loves you enough to nearly dislocate his wrist trying to give you a cuddle after you cracked his ribs, perhaps he loves you enough to be honest with you too."

Remus looks at him for another long moment, before he sighs, tears hanging heavily behind his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can," Logan coaxes, giving his hands another squeeze, "I know you can."

"What if it goes wrong?"

"Then we'll just kill him." Remus's head jerks up so quickly for a moment Logan frets he's hurt his neck, so still he may as well be a statue, and he chuckles. "I'm only teasing, dear."

"Don't fucking do that."

"I know, I know, that was in poor taste, I'm sorry." He cups Remus's cheeks and kisses his forehead. "I didn't mean it, you know I'd never have your brother killed. We'll just rough him up a little and throw him back to the kennels."

"He's stubborn."

"Believe me, I'm aware. That's a trait that runs in the family."

"He'll…he might not want to go back—I—it's just—"

Logan frowns when Remus keeps stumbling over his words. "It's alright, dear, say what it is you want to."

"I don't want to lose him again," comes the whisper, "and I don't know how to keep that from happening."

"That's what we're trying to do, isn't it?"

"But Roman never chooses this." He gestures around at the room, between them, at the little pin with Logan's calling card affixed to his lapel. "He's so fucking noble."

"Everyone has a weak point—I think it's been well established by now that you are our dear little hero's."

"That didn't stop him from abandoning me last time."

Logan sighs, stepping closer to pull Remus's face into the crook of his neck. He runs his fingers through his hair, the other smoothing up and down his back. Remus's hands curl hesitantly into the fabric at his sides. He hums an encouragement. Remus inches forward until their chests are flush together, breaths still stuttering just a little.

"You won't be alone," he whispers into Remus's ear, "never again, my dear. I'm right here, I won't leave you."

"You better promise."

"I promise, Remus." He pulls back just enough to kiss the tip of Remus's nose, now suspiciously red, and rest their foreheads together. "You're bound to me just as I am to you. Nothing short of death will change that."

"Then you'd better not fucking die either."

"That's what I have you for."

Remus laughs at the familiar joke, relaxing a little into Logan's hold. They stand there like that for a while, the soft music coming from the radio filtering the worst of the city's background noise. For a moment, they could be any other couple enjoying a quiet morning together, swaying in the kitchen, until Logan's phone buzzes and he regretfully pulls away.

"I have to go," he murmurs, "but I won't be gone long."

"Will you be there, when I talk to him?"

"Of course, my dear."

***

"Ro?"

"Re?" Roman's head lifts slowly off the pillow, eyes widening as he sees Remus sitting on a chair next to the bed. "Remus!"

"Hey, Roro. You doing okay?"

"Little bumped and bruised, but yeah, I'm okay."

Remus snorts. "Okay, your gift for fucking understatement clearly hasn't gone anywhere."

"Yeah, well."

"That's not a fucking answer!" Roman just shrugs, grinning up at him until he shakes his head. "You're a bigger disaster than I thought."

Still, nothing quite hides the way their hands stutter for a moment as Remus pulls his from under the covers, tucking it under his chin again. He can feel Remus's pulse against the back of his hand, can feel the way his fingers are still callused, still worn, still alive. He lets out a shaky breath and Remus gives his hand a little squeeze.

"Aren't you two sweet?"

Roman jerks his head around as Logan comes in, taking a seat on the other side of the bed. He sets a glass of water on the nightstand and ruffles his hair. Remus huffs.

"Yeah, he's not really good at turning off the whole villain-jump-scare thing."

"I've noticed."

"Hush, the both of you." Still, he offers Roman a small wink before sitting back in the chair, seemingly content to let Remus…do whatever.

Ah.

Wait a moment.

"Is this…the rest of the interrogation?"

Remus's grip tightens a little. "Yeah."

"I see." He's not going to let go of Remus's hand until Remus wants to, though, so he just takes a breath, tries to relax against the pillows and squeezes. "Well. What do you want from me?"

"Why didn't you look for me?"

Wow. Don't ease into it or anything. Though he supposes that little chat with Logan this morning might've counted. "What did Logan tell you?"

"Does it matter what Logan told me?" Remus glares at him. "Answer my fucking question."

"I thought you were dead, Remus, I couldn't—"

"So, what, they just told you I was dead and you bowed your head like a good little boy and said yes, sir? No fact checking, no nothing? Were you happy to be rid of me?"

Now, see, Roman was not, in fact, known for his ability to keep his emotions in check. So much so, in fact, that he's pretty sure there's a note in his file not to bring up his brother in any way, shape, or form. Said brother, of course, would be unaware of this fact, and so he gets treated to a very surprised expression on Remus's face when he yanks him forward by his collar.

"Don't you ever," Roman hisses, "say that again. I was not fucking happy to be rid of you, I almost fucking died trying to follow you. They locked me in a room with your fucking corpse, Remus, I was not fucking thrilled about that!"

"They did what?"

Roman makes himself take a deep breath. "That night. You went to train. Middle of the night they woke me up with a blaring alarm and forced me down to the cells. You were there."

"No, I fucking wasn't—"

"I know that now. But Re, you—" don't get stuck there, don't get stuck there, don't get stuck there— "there was so much blood. You were there. You looked—you were so hurt, I stayed there all night trying to do CPR to bring you back, even when I knew it was—they had to pull me off you and sedate me."

Remus is staring at him now, eyes wide with horror. Roman's breathing is too heavy. He's broken the cardinal rule of interrogations. He doesn't give a shit.

"I tore that fucking morgue apart when I couldn't find your body again. That body was you, Remus, they got everything right. Your birthmarks, your scars—"

"What do you mean, 'they got everything right?' What the fuck are you talking about?"

It's Roman's turn to pause. "You don't remember? That whole thing about the body duplicator?"

"The what now?"

Roman turns to glare at Logan, only to see him looking equally confused. He heaves a sigh and eases his grip on Remus's collar, wincing as he does so. "There was a rumor about duplicates going around. Victims turning up dead many times over. They were trying out this new hallucinogenic that made you see the body as someone else. Took everyone way too fucking long to realize the call was coming from inside the house."

Logan's eyes widen in recognition. Remus splutters. "Wait, wait, wait, what? Lo, what's he talking about?"

"The Director was replaced nearly a decade ago, a few months after your…disappearance," Logan says slowly, "but I had no idea he was…"

"A mad scientist plotting a sadistic takeover via emotional blackmail and murder?"

"…quite."

He looks back at Remus, who's staring at him in that lost way that he did before and oh, fuck, his brother's alive. "I never meant to abandon you, Re. I swear to god."

"Is this fucker still alive? You said he got replaced—who found him out?"

"Who do you think?"

Now Remus's eyes truly go wide. There's suddenly a lump in Roman's throat.

"Did you really think," he croaks, "that I'd let something like that just go? I thought he'd murdered my brother. I wasn't about to let him live."

"You killed someone. You killed the Director. You did that…for me?"

"Remus, the entire agency is different because of you," Roman says desperately, "the Director—the handlers, fuck, the training—I—you have to know I wasn't the only one fucking furious. There are so many safeguards in place, now, there's so many contingencies—you're the first name on the Wall of the Fallen in the facility garden, you—"

"The what?"

Don't cry. Don't fucking cry. "In…in the middle of that big garden, you know the one with the—with the fountain?"

"And the benches?"

"Yeah, that one. There's a, um…there's a monument to all the people we should've been able to save and couldn't—people who lost their lives in the line of duty or in service to the agency. I…might've thrown a fit when I learned that there wasn't any way to make sure you were remembered."

Well, fuck. He's made Remus cry. And that definitely means he's about to cry and this is the worst he's ever done in any interrogation ever and they're gonna rake him over the coals for this but he doesn't care because Remus just threw his arms around him and he's sobbing into his neck and he can actually hug back this time and he's—

If Logan has a problem with either of them bawling into each other like children, he doesn't say anything about it.

At least until Roman gets too exhausted to hold himself up and when Remus tries to lay on him, he accidentally lays right over the cracked rib.

"Easy, dear," Logan says softly, standing up to brace a hand on Remus's shoulder, "you'll hurt him like that. Come over to this side, yes, that's it, come lie down next to him over here."

Remus just crawls over Roman on the bed and flops down, arms around him again. Logan chuckles, but Roman doesn't give a shit. And wow, what sort of day is this turning into where he can afford to not give a shit about Logan Hoskins?

"I didn't know you were alive, Re."

"Yeah, you've made that pretty fucking clear." Remus wipes his nose and mashes his cheek against Roman's good shoulder. "I forgive you."

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

"I think you've broken our little hero," he hears Logan say distantly with something that might be concern, but Roman's head is still ringing with those three little words.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

"R-Re—"

"Oh, come here, you big sap," Remus grumbles with his voice all thick and they're cuddling again, Roman's hands shaking as he holds onto his brother.

***

"So," Roman says hoarsely when they've both cried themselves out, Remus dozing on his shoulder, "what now?"

Logan picks up the water and hands it to him. He manages a few sips before he has to give it back. He sets it back on the table and folds his hands. "Well, I believe we've reached a slight impasse."

"…where I want to go back, Remus wants to stay here, and we both can't deal with the idea of it?"

"Astute as always, little hero."

He looks at Logan. Really looks at him for a few seconds. "You know, I always thought the Director was awful before I really knew how much of a shit he was."

"Oh?"

"I never wanted Remus to be in a room alone with him. I tried to stand between them. I tried to make sure he'd never get the chance to get at Remus without going through me."

"And I suppose you're regretting that you never had the chance to stand between me and him?"

"Nah."

He gets the distinct pleasure of catching Logan off guard. "Really?"

"You care about him. You actually do care about him. Am I thrilled about it? No—" Logan stifles a snort— "but you…you're not actually trying to hurt him."

"I could be."

"I thought we agreed not to insult each other's intelligence. No one leads with 'you don't know how he sleeps at night' and isn't holding onto first-hand knowledge of that. You weren't exactly being subtle."

Logan chuckles. "I suppose not."

Another pause. Remus snuffles in his sleep and Roman squeezes his hand just as Logan reaches forward to card his fingers through his hair.

"This is gonna be a big fucking mess, isn't it?"

"I'm sure we can work something out. What," he laughs when Roman eyes him, "I did say I was capable of being reasonable."

"What do you get out of this?"

"Aside from the potential of a very convincing deal between me and that pesky agency?"

"Yeah."

He sighs, brushing his thumb over Remus's temple. "A chance to bring him some modicum of peace."

"I can work with that."

"Splendid."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[inafieldofdaisies]

(WIP) Music (not) Monday | Tagged by @nightbloodbix

The rules: Post a song that is relevant to your WIP or inspires it. I’m also including the lyrics

Can you hear us? The sound of a million forgotten souls Screams in the distance, cries from the mountains, our voices echo Their hands painted scarlet Hidden in shadows so nobody knows They'll pay for the bloodshed Legends are made from the stories untold Through the fire Under the gallows Facing a trial Justice will follow Can you hear them? The sound of their lost, unforgiven souls Voice of the victims roars through the valleys, now everyone knows What's done in the darkness, deep in the shadows, the light will expose There's nowhere to go Dearly departed Sins of the heartless Legends are made as the stories unfold Through the fire Under the gallows Facing a trial Justice will follow

Signs on my skin Plying lines where your hands have been Scribing me So tell me what it's for Why the wilds want you, Riverborn All our bodies shorn But the dust adorns you, ever more Pines on the brim And in time the storms will snow us in But believe-- And believe-- That i know what it's for Why the waters mourn you, riverborn Both our bodies formed from the dust that haunts you, ever more Just tell me what it's for What the wines afford you, Riverborn All my solace torn That I may never know your winter's morn

They do what we do They might look crazy From a low point of view Yeah that's why we're doing it For the thrill of it When you find the thing that Puts a smile on your face Don't try to fight it Let yourself be embraced Yeah that's why we're doing it For the thrill of it

Hello, my love, the wind is weeping Stars on the ceiling, guide you into the unknown Beautiful to the bitter end In the night you call out to me Oh, the sound of your voice is crashing like waves down, waves down In my dreams Oh, in the night it's harder to breathe Oh, I wish you could know that nothing's the same now, same now Since I lost you You You

Tagging, @socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @strangefable @strafethesesinners @dumbassdep @florbelles @aceghosts @direwombat @onehornedbeast @simplegenius042 @macs-babies @thesingularityseries @cassietrn @kyber-infinitygems @finding-comfort-in-rain @carlosoliveiraa @fourlittleseedlings @voidika @theelderhazelnut @josephslittledeputy @trench-rot @josephseedismyfather @g0dspeeed @henbased @corvosattano @simonxriley @marivenah @captastra @la-grosse-patate and anyone that would like to share some songs this week <3

[crownmemes]

Loss Sentences, Vol. 1

(Sentences from various sources for muses that have lost something or someone. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I don't know what to do with myself half the time, and the other half I'm pissed."

"Loss changes us in ways we can never fully comprehend."

"Grief is strange. It comes at you from odd angles."

"Death is a hard thing to deal with; murder's close to impossible."

"We mourn not only for what was lost but also for the future that will never be."

"The day you lose someone isn't the worst - at least you've got something to do. It's all the days they stay dead."

"People are starting to worry about you, you know that?"

"Sometimes now I forget what happened for five minutes, maybe ten. Sometimes it brings me to my knees."

"You're not going to go through this alone."

"It doesn't pay to dwell on the past."

"You can't bring her back."

"Staring at her picture won't bring her back."

"Falling in love with someone isn't supposed to be the same experience every time. Someone else will be someone else."

"I'm not drinking to get drunk."

"Sometimes you have to talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable."

"You can't blame yourself for what happened."

"The past is the past; I wish to move forward."

"I know what it's like to lose a great love. It can change you - force you to make bad decisions."

"I can't remember their voices..."

"Love may come and love may go, but to have someone that really understands you... That's nothing that no one can take away."

"Do you close yourself off to people and deny yourself things that might bring you pleasure because it's some sort of penance?"

"No matter how hard we try, time cannot heal all wounds."

"No love, however brief, is wasted."

"I'm hurting, but I'll manage."

"One is quite alone when the last one who remembers is gone."

"I don't want to talk about the past."

"If you are ready to talk about it, I'd very much like to know, but I'm not going to ask you about it anymore."

"Time heals all wounds. Sometimes it just takes a larger dose."

"You're not fine, I know. I know because I've been where you are."

"To lose someone is to carry a piece of them within us forever."

"Were you two close?"

"Your loss would break my heart."

"We all have to live with ghosts."

"I don't speak of it because I find the matter painful."

"You're chasing phantoms again."

[elgatt0]

Inside Wolves

Hoie ^3^)つ

I always liked the villain/evil AU theme, and after reading this wonderful fic by @tashilover, I decided to put into practice an idea that was hammering in my mind for a long time!

⚠️Note: the following story will tackle some topics that may not be suitable for everyone (death, blood and such) But I promise to hold back and not leave anything too absurd. I will try

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

======================

Chapter I

"Rabbits that live in burrows dug by wolves do not spend on burials"

==============================

Legend pov

"It's late. The sun sets and darkness rises, we better stop here." Mr. blue scarf speaks very politely.

Everything he does is always politey, I'm sure he's like that even when he shits.

To be fair, Mr scarf is a captain in his era. He fought in wars and led troops, so barking orders and having nice hair is his second nature...

Being a bastard is the first.

Everyone knows, he knows and seems to be proud of it, I wish hylia have mercy when that vain being starts talking about women.

"We're not going to use a bonfire tonight" he still didn't get tired of talking "Terrain is unknown, as well as the monsters here. The strong flames will attract unwanted attention, an oil lantern should be enough for us." I hate to admit it, but he's competent at what he does.

"Now that you mentioned , we've been walking through the forest all day , strange that we haven't encountered any monsters...or anything alive" Someone comments. Little guy, being observant as usual. If the trees could hear I'm sure they'd be offended by that last sentence.

Ah yes, new adventure, new faces, same name. But I already solved the last problem.

"Strange don't you think? It seems as if the forest is mourning" Cloud head agrees "It doesn't match at all what the villagers told us."

"Not only words, nothing was matching in that village."

The old man, many things with him don't match either. The tattoos that go with that pale eye emanate something ancient, dangerous, maybe divine? I don't know, I feel a strange sense of unease about them. But that doesn't matter, for now.

Everyone in that village was hiding something, far beyond secrets. I felt like I could find a corpse at any moment.

"I think we were fooled, one way or another" Looks like I'm not the only one who feels this way.

All the others fell into silence as morbid as the forest, lost in their minds as they prepared for the night. I bet that just like me, everyone is processing everything that happened these last days.

Having your butt ripped out of your house through a dark portal and thrown into a totally unknown place with 8 other incarnations of your spirit to travel aimlessly and fight demons is a really wonderful experience, I don't blame them.

May Hylia pay my therapy.

It hasn't been long since we started this journey, despite knowing that we have shared the same spirit, yet we are not the same person.

It feels like we've become more strangers than allies with each passing day. Not hating each other but not fully trusting either.

I shake my head as if to throw my thoughts away and toss my bag and boots aside. Lying down, I don't bother to take off the extra layers of my clothes. I'll likely wake up sore, but I don't care.

Behind me, the sailor brat seemed uncomfortable with the silence. Not enduring these calm seas, he decided to break the awkward silence and started talking about food, which seemed to liven up the tense atmosphere a bit. But I wasn't interested in joining, eating now seemed cloying.

Using my hands as a pillow, I gaze up at the dark starless sky. It's odd, we are in the middle of nowhere far from any dazzling light from towns or villages, I should be complaining about the brightness of the stars, not the absence.

I keep facing the darkness until an apple shakes my thoughts out of my head, again. I sit up, rubbing my aching forehead and look at the one who will wake up with a mouth full of ants.

"Stop the drama and eat. I bet the poison that comes off your tongue is more potent than anything I could put in food" Forget the ants, I'll smother him with his damn fancy scarf.

"And I bet my kick can make that butt flatter than it is" I don't normally put salt on the wound...

I use oil and set it on fire.

And it burned badly, leaving the captain's face flushed a pure red. "Why, you little s-"

"Enough" The old man intervenes with a firm voice "Veteran, eat. Hunger won't do anyone any good" I think about arguing until he gives me that look which reminds me that I have more important things to do.

Mister Blue Scarf snorts, a bit awkward after being scolded. "Your little shit" He mutters as he turns his back and stomps out, not being much polite in hiding his annoyance.

I salute the captain with my middle finger as he leaves, even I can be polite sometimes. My good manners elicit a few giggles and eye rolls.

That sharp eye was still piercing through my skull, so I decided to pick up the apple and eat it, not caring if it's really poisoned or not.

It's not like I need to have worries in the matter, the captain may be a bastard, but he has strong morals. He would never kill me like that, his death language is sword against sword, I respect that.

That damn wolf is what really worries me.

Wolfie gives me a strange feeling every time I see him, something wrong. Those eerily human eyes, the way him appears from the shadows no matter what era we're in, the beast always follows us. A wolf that herds sheep.

I remember the time the crazy cook said it was okay, he knew that wolf. Apparently, Wolfie acted as a guide on his journey, a kind of divine beast. I'd say it's about time he got some glasses, 100 years in darkness takes away anyone's eyesight.

There's nothing divine about that beast. The brutal way Wolfie shatters his victims and the pleasure he seemed to take in it was so wrong, I've seen demons be more merciful.

"Wolfieeee! You're back," the Sailor exclaims happily. Perfect, just as I was thinking about demons. I wonder if whispering his name three times will make him appear too.

I watch Wolfie approached slowly, each step calculated and deliberate. His claws dragged along the ground, producing a low, grinding sound. His tail wagged in excitement, making large arcs in the air.

Why is this so familiar? Where...when...who?

I don't know if it was because of tiredness, the low light from the lantern, or even if everyone needed glasses too.

There's no way anyone didn't notice the fresh blood that adorns the wolf's fur and stains the ground.

There's no way anyone didn't notice fangs ripping off sailor's throat.

AO3//Next>>

[cinderkaliningrad]

The Winternight: If you catch their eyes. (Boys)

Pyotr Vladimirovich (if you like DILF's):

Pyotr will always love Marina, his first wife. We have to live with that fact. He will prefer that you do not physically resemble Marina or that you do not remind him of her in any way, and if you do, he will find it hard to get over the memory. Pyotr is a good man, with a good heart and proud of his family. If you treat his children well he will keep his arms open for you and you will be one of the family.

Nicolai "Kolya" Petrovich (I know he's married and he has a son, let's say that he's single):

First you have to be someone who stands out from the crowd. Beautiful or with good attributes. He looks at the body first. He will openly flirt with you, and probably torment poor Sasha with endless flattery about you. He'll get a bit angry if you don't pay attention to him.

Aleksandr "Sasha" Petrovich (aka Aleksandr Peresvet):

Sasha has probably never noticed anyone. You will be the first and therefore special. Someone brave, fearless who can follow you on your adventures. Be patient with him, the boy is a bit restless and quite reckless. He is clumsy in giving affection and will feel bad because he would be betraying his vows as a monk. Patience and more patience. Especially with his more conservative side, don't worry. Eventually he will understand that you don't think like him and he will respect you. But he will be faithful to you and would live and die for you. You respect his freedom and his desire for adventure. If you are lucky he will take you with him on the horse.

Aleksei "Alyosha" Petrovich:

He will love you with all his heart, he will be afraid of losing you as he lost his sisters (who left) and his mother. He will want to keep you close and protect you always. He will understand everything you tell him and will always listen to you. Good match, good husband, good friend. He will be sincere with you, he will like to have little moments in the woods and fields.

Dmitri Ivanovich (I know he's married too):

He will see you behind his wife's back. His heart is with you. He will look at you first for aesthetic reasons, just like Kolya, you must stand out in his eyes in any way you can. Get her attention. Sasha probably knows about this, but he will have to turn a blind eye. He will let you call him Mitya (his childhood nickname). He'll give you expensive gifts, he'll show off in front of you a lot to show off and impress you: Dmitri Ivanovich, your heroic prince in shining armour. He will show you his snake-hilted sword, his skills, etc.

Konstantin Nikonovich:

Obsession, obsession everywhere. He wants you and now, now and for him. The toxic blond of the novel has arrived, ladies and gentlemen. First he will feel guilty for thinking about his priestly vows. Little by little he'll get over it, he won't need you to convince him like Sasha. You'll get his attention no matter what you look like, just your personality and if you're a witch, you've got him. He may try to abduct you and harass you a bit. If you want to stop him, call Medved to control him.

Medved:

If you are creative, sing well, paint well, or are good at some kind of art or activity of some kind you will catch his attention. The same way Konstantin did. He will chase you until you leave to a place where he can't follow you (Death). He's going to pick your brains and manipulate you a bit, but deep down he'll care about you. And if you die, he will mourn for you and miss you. He'll be the monster in your wardrobe (literally because he's gay/bisexual) or under your bed if you want. His bear form is furry, he might let you sleep on top of him if you let him.

Kasyan Lutovich:

YOU DON'T WANT THIS GUY TO LAY AN EYE ON YOU, believe me... Just frienzone him and if he gives you problem call Vasya.

Morozko is not here, because here we respect our Queen Vasya.

[araneitela]

🌿 Author portrait. Get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.

Basics.

Name/nickname: Manon/Sae (see Lauri, I told you I share it by default) Age: I'll turn 35 only days after summer begins (... in the northern hemisphere that is) Pronouns: She/her Years of writing: I've always written little tidbits throughout life, and most of it in school notebooks. It's not something that I did consistently, but it started roughly around early high school, which is when I was twelve years old. Granted, I also did always, always keep a diary when I was young (one of those with a lock and key and all, I loved I dearly— it was also an extra way of how I was taught about privacy, and how all of us were entitled to it), which held not just writings about my day, but drawings, and thoughts of when I was as young as 5/6. I mourn having lost all of these really, but you can't take many things with you when you move abroad. As for when I started writing on Tumblr? Since 2012, and I started in the Vampire Diaries fandom.

Reflection.

Why did you pick up writing? It was a natural thing to do, because I'd always had this craving to write about things that I didn't know about and wanted to hypothesize on, so I'd write little stories of what life 'might be like one day', for example. But more specifically, I often finished watching films or shows, or concluded a book series, and simply wanted more of it and its characters. I wanted more chapters. And so I dabbled in writing little extensions of scenes that always get cut off too soon, or I'd write things that I knew would surely have occurred in between things, or simply hypothetical situations that made sense within canon. But it always drove me insane how this wouldn't be 'canon', which I think is why I always kept at it, as if I thought that maybe if I did good enough of a job, I could read it as if it was part of the canon itself (though of course I'm not the author so it was unattainable, but I could dream when young!) But maybe that's why I always seem to come back to wanting to be 'canon strict' within my writing. It's to try and do the most justice to peoples' creations in some way? I don't know. I just know authors make me feral, and it's like I want to pay my respect to them for having done that for me.

Do you have any writing routines? I've been thinking about this for a while, because my routines have always kind of changed over the years. But one thing I realized I always do, is that I like to find the instrumental (more often than not) that I'll be writing to, and reread the thread in question until I don't just see the the muse in my head, but hear them, hear their breath, how they sigh, or the way that they're smiling or laughing. If I can't hear any of those fundamental things, then it's difficult to get into writing them. And when that's happened, I kind of... I don't know, automatically envision my muse's current reaction, and condemn them when they show me a glimpse of a reply that's two, or three replies down the line that usually emotionally destroys me.

What's your favorite part about writing? I saw Lottie mention this in her reply, and I kind of want to jump on the bandwagon: being able to get into the headspace of someone who's so vastly different from myself. I've always been intrigued by what I don't know and don't understand, so it's only logical that I ultimately gravitate to those who're so different from myself. I like figuring things out, I like problem-solving, I love research. So while sometimes there may be overlapping commonalities between my muses and myself, it's always relegated to being no more than specific elements.

Three things you like about your writing.

One. This isn't about my writing directly, but it is what ultimately fuels a lot behind it as it's an intricate part of my muse portrayals, so I think that it stills counts: how much my brain will cook and cook on lore and references, without going 'outside' of the realms of what canon gives me. It's the intense need to dissect and understand. And I like to think that it ultimately adds a semblance of realism to my portrayals and thus, hopefully, my writing when I do my best to integrate all of it into, well, the thing that, well, 'presents them to the masses'.

Two. This is a tough and mostly weird one, but I want to mention this because I think being able to do so is a big one in terms of 'self-positivity', I suppose. The fact that I'm able to actually... like my own writing, is something that I like about it. It takes a long time, and I've been out of commission so much in the last 3 years that I don't like a lot of what I write. But when I get back into it, a few replies down the time, I can write something that I'll actually be happy with, or I'll look back at random replies I wrote a month ago, a year ago, and sometimes I go 'you know what, I like this', and I wasn't able to do that when I'd started. But I can do it now, my writing has gotten to a point where sometimes I actually can say that I like it. It's not consistent by any means, and not lately, but I know that I can and will get there.

Three. I like to think that my writing changes a bit voice-wise to fit specific characters, not overly much so, but enough so that I don't tend to struggle or get intimidated by voices. I either take to a certain voice immediately (Tony Stark, Guizhong, Jace Herondale, etc.) or it can take me numerous weeks (Yelan/Kafka, Dorian Pavus, Ezio Auditore), but they all inevitably seem to settle according to my writing partners. So while outward dialogue is always the thing that I struggle with the very most and longest, I think that when it settles, it might be one of my stronger suits.

A question for the next person.

Write a question for the next person to answer. Once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer.

What do you find the most difficult to write (eg dialogue)? I've always answered one of two things for this in the past, one being dialogue but I'm kind of getting over that nowadays. The other mostly stems from the fact that I have difficulty getting sentences to flow properly, it's the transition of one sentence to another. It's that no matter how much I may speak English out loud conversationally nowadays, it's this mental discrepancy I have between it and my native tongue when it comes to creative writing because I write so differently from how I speak. It's really the thing that'll motivate me to rewrite an entire paragraph sometimes, and also why one reply can take so excessively long. I'll reread and it sounds like one sentence is so far removed from the one that came before it, that I shake my head and redo it. It's quite honestly the bane of my existence. Flow, flow, flow.

New question: When life throws you lemons, and gets you down, does writing become something that you're drawn to as to get you through it, or do you feel like it does the opposite?

Tagged by: @daybreakrising (muah, Lauri! And thank you Aven for making this lil thing) Tagging: @spiderwarden @delusionaid @aventvrina @astrxlfinale and whoever else who wants to do it; feel free to steal it from me and tag me.

[valanvar]

50 dialogue prompts set in the dark, high-fantasy universe of Tolkien, inspired by Middle-earth’s intense struggles, deep mysteries, and complex characters. They lean into the darker themes, exploring the shades of betrayal, loyalty, loss, and the consuming nature of power.

𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖘𝖊, 𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖒𝖊 𝖆 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖎𝖈 𝖓𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗.

"This road leads only to ruin... yet it is the only path we have left."

"If you wish to see the dawn, cast away the ring, for it will end us both."

"They call me kin, but I know the gleam of greed in their eyes."

"Not all shadows are cast by the Dark Lord; some are born within our own hearts."

"Do you truly believe these stones remember? That they hold whispers of ages past?"

"You swore no oath to the light; will you then take one for the dark?"

"In war, we lose parts of ourselves that no magic or power can restore."

"The elves may sing of peace, but even they sharpen their blades in secret."

"I have walked among the dead, and even they fear what stirs in Mordor."

"Not every hero wears armor, and not every villain bears a crown."

"What good is victory if we become the very darkness we fought to defeat?"

"Do you not hear the mountains mourn, the rivers weep, for what is to come?"

"Your blood is rich with power, but power has a way of devouring its master."

"Once, I fought for honor. Now, I fight only to survive."

"You think love can save us? In Mordor, love is just another weapon."

"The stars fade, the trees die, and even the earth trembles. What hope have we?"

"Darkness has many forms, but the worst is that which lies in the heart."

"They say no one escapes the mines of Moria, but I have… at a terrible cost."

"There is no throne worth sitting upon if it’s bought with the souls of the innocent."

"The wise speak of light and dark, but they forget that shadows give both shape."

"To rule is to destroy, whether by peace or by war."

"I saw the fires of Mount Doom and felt the weight of eternity pressing down upon me."

"It is not the sword that wounds most, but the choice to wield it."

"Elves may dance in moonlight, but they leave death in the shadows."

"These stones were once proud, now they crumble, just as kingdoms do."

"Do you feel it? The world grows colder, and not from winter alone."

"Some battles are not won by strength, but by the silence of a shadow."

"To seek immortality is to walk hand-in-hand with madness."

"Even Sauron was once noble; do not let your heart follow his path."

"It is not the fire that consumes, but the spark that ignites it."

"The wind carries whispers of betrayal, and even the trees cannot be trusted."

"For every sword raised in courage, there lies a thousand hearts broken."

"Once, I trusted the light, but now I see it can blind as surely as darkness."

"The line between enemy and ally is as thin as a sword’s edge."

"When all you hold dear is lost, tell me then, what price would you not pay?"

"In the end, the strongest weapon is neither sword nor spell, but despair."

"I remember when this valley was green… now it reeks of decay."

"The One Ring may be gone, but evil does not die so easily."

"Every victory costs a piece of our souls; what shall we have left?"

"How long can a heart bear the burden of hate before it becomes what it despises?"

"They say the Shire is untouched… but shadows creep, even there."

"To be mortal is to suffer, and to be immortal is to watch suffering without end."

"Magic is neither light nor dark; it is only as twisted as the hand that wields it."

"The fire in the mountain may sleep, but it has not forgotten its rage."

"Even the bravest fear what lies beyond the veil of death."

"They call it victory, but what they don't see is the cost yet to be paid."

"Beware of those who offer help in dark times; even shadows seek companions."

"Hope is the cruelest gift of all; it leads you onward, even unto ruin."

"I have walked the long path of sorrow; tell me, what would you give to walk another?"

"Evil lies not in power, but in the hands of those who would use it."