#I may have poor emotional resiliency but in my defense it is not exactly normal for a close friend to suddenly treat you this badly

[the-descolada]

what a rough way for this year to go already.

[fitnesswomenshealth-blog]

Experiencing a Lyme Disease Flare-Up After a Period of Good Health

New Post has been published on https://cialiscom.org/experiencing-a-lyme-disease-flare-up-after-a-period-of-good-health.html

Experiencing a Lyme Disease Flare-Up After a Period of Good Health

Following far more than six decades of debilitating signs and symptoms, which includes two and a fifty percent yrs of an intensive extensive-time period remedy, I commenced emotion very good. Not just a lot less poor, but actually good. I experienced neglected what it felt like to come to feel regular: to wake up feeling rested, to make it by the working day without a migraine, to physical exercise without rigorous pain, to study a ebook, to satisfy a friend for meal, to go to course, to have a task.

In the image higher than, I am satisfied, carefree, out in the sunlight without having a migraine from light-weight sensitivity, just enjoying a vacation.

My medical professionals had told me that even while it was taking much lengthier than anticipated for my treatment to work, I would get superior. I would be cured. Lastly, I started off to believe them. I felt great! A doctor last but not least explained a part of my entire body as “normal, younger and healthier.” I begun eagerly, hungrily, picturing a potential unhampered by illness. I received energized. I got my hopes up.

Right after just about a few blissful months of usual health and fitness, I started out having problems yet again. It came on gradually – just about every couple days, then every other working day, then each and every day. When the migraines flared, so did the fibromyalgia, exhaustion, brain fog and other cognitive deficits.

I panicked.

I restarted procedure, introducing one more medicine on prime of the antimalarials and antibiotics composing my typical cure “pulses.” 4 times later on, I am lying in mattress, flattened by the most intense Jarsich-Herxheimer reaction I have expert in nearly two decades. For all those unfamiliar with the dreaded “herxing”: essentially, as the Lyme and Bartonella micro organism are killed by antibiotics, they struggle back again, and I get ill. Authentic unwell.

At times, battling continual illness feels like dragging myself, tooth and nail, by each and every day, only to eliminate my grip and slide back to wherever I started. From time to time it feels like using just one phase ahead and two measures back. Basically, like limping just one action ahead, then remaining flattened by an 18-wheeler and bulldozed again to square 1. But that is a tiny melodramatic.

I have expert the wild fluctuations prior to, but this time is tougher. I truly considered that the worst times were being behind me, that I would at last be ready to transfer on and stay the lifetime I want, not the one dictated for me by my serious disease. In the previous 7 days, my goals of grad faculty, a job and a household of my possess have flickered and pale. My potential is as soon as again unsure, in a quite distinct way from other 22-yr-olds’. I’m possessing a genuinely really hard time wrapping my head all around this. What if I’m ill permanently?

I’ve put in the past few times reflecting, alternating in a psychological tug-of-war involving hysterics and rationale. I have clawed my way out of terrible intervals of sick health just before, and the imagined of obtaining to struggle like that again scares and exhausts me. What if this is the rest of my life? It’s not good!

But, at the similar time, I have been via this before, and I have survived. I may be getting rid of the fight, but I am successful the war. Via my past fights, I have made the weapons of grit and resilience. In addition to my loved ones, I have recruited a squadron of close good friends who guard my weak sides, no make a difference what. I have a struggle prepare, based on my past experiences: I know what is coming, and I can strategically build up my defenses in advance. I’m ready.

In the earlier six many years, I have uncovered the energy of cognitive reframing as a coping system. Basically, I just can’t command my circumstance, but I can command how I answer to it. What’s the worst that can materialize? I’m ill forever. Ok, fantastic. Say I never ever get better. I still have a potent perception of reason and people who like me unconditionally. If I can hardly ever keep down a comprehensive-time work, I can volunteer and do the job aspect-time. I can get the job done remotely. If I can’t get the Ph.D. I want to satisfy my objective of aiding children with long-term illness, I can discover other means to offer guidance and aid based mostly on my personal ordeals.

So, matters will not work out exactly how I prepared. Which is mainly genuine for all people. And if almost nothing else, continual ailment has taught me that some of the very best encounters in existence happen when the prepare falls to you-know-what.

The working day-to-day wrestle with discomfort and adversity is disheartening. But in the large photo, it does not have to detract from the high quality of my daily life. It could possibly be in just a distinctive body of reference, but I continue to get to come to a decision who I am and what my everyday living will be. And is not that all that any of us, irrespective of wellbeing, can talk to for?

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[thirdnova-kara]

Task 12: Muse Booster

Name: Kara Brookes

Height: 5′4″

Age in Story: 24

Birthplace: San Francisco, California

Hair (color, length, style): Kara’s hair is naturally blonde, and while she usually prefers it short, it’s currently grown a few inches past her shoulders over the years. Keeping it straight is an easier way to style it, but sometimes she’ll curl or wave it.

Race/Nationality: White; American with some Irish, British, and German ethnicity

Regional Influences: California

Accent (voice, style of speech, slang, signature words/phrases): Kara doesn’t have an accent, and she tends to use more relevant, every day slang like “I can’t even,” “on fleek,” and “bae.” She is also pretty known for coming up with pet names for people (her most famous being the name she called Gabe Bradbury, “Bradbaby”). Her voice is kind of soft with a very subtle raspy/rough edge to it. Voice clip here.

Religion: Catholic, but super poor practicing

Marital Status: Unmarried, but dating

Scars/Other Notable Physical Attributes: She does have a few small, faded scars from fights as a Rebel. She also has a few small tattoos. Her first tattoo is a small cross on her right wrist. Her next one is a small 3 on the inside of her right wrist, which she got recently after she became the Third Nova of the Rebel Army. She has the Roman numerals LXXVI (76) on her left side. She also has two small anchor tattoos on each of her ankles. She got these shortly after she joined the Rebel Army, as symbols to keep herself grounded when she was training to gain control of her powers. 

Handicaps (physical, emotional, mental): She’s emotionally very stubborn and a pro compartmentalizer. She’s also a functioning alcoholic to an extent. 

Athletic? Inactive? Overall health?: Very athletic and healthy. She trains and works out every day in the Rebel base, and she tries her best to eat relatively healthy.

Style of Dress: Kara’s style of dress is always comfortable and casual. She likes to feel comfy in skinny jeans/ripped skinny jeans; Sperry’s, Vans, Converse, UGGs; crop tops, t-shirts, or tank tops with light sweaters or cardigans. Sometimes she’ll add a scarf or beanie as an accessory. She’ll occasionally dress it up with a nicer top or sweater with nicer flats or boots of varying lengths. While she dresses in a more casual fashion, she does have a good eye for fashion in general and wishes she could afford top trends for herself to wear on a daily basis.

Favorite Colors: Light blues and greens and silver

How does character feel about appearance? She definitely knows she’s attractive, and likes to keep up her appearance even in little ways.

Any siblings?: Tanner Brookes (older brother) and Zed Avery (older half brother)

Relationship with parents?: Ever since she ran away when she was about 16, her relationship with her parents had been kind of strained. She rarely ever spoke to them, but not because they were bad parents. She respected and admired her parents, and loved them a lot, and she still feels guilty for running off without an explanation. Now that they’re dead, she regrets her past actions and not being able to see them or tell them she loves them before they were killed. 

Memories about childhood?: Kara has very vague memories of her childhood, but she remembers it being mostly a normal childhood. She was happy, and she definitely remembers growing up with Tanner and how the two of them would torment each other but look out for each other at the same time. 

Educational background? (Street smart? Book smart?): Kara is a high school drop out, but she is a good mix of book and street smart, excelling in street smarts. She’s been quietly considering getting her GED and going to college, possibly to study fashion design or business.

Work Experience: Rebel Army Third Nova

Where does the character live now? Describe home. (Emotional atmosphere & physical): Kara currently lives in both the Rebel Army base, and sometimes at Tanner’s apartment. The Rebel Army base has been considered her “real home” for the past few years since she ran away, but she wouldn’t exactly call it a relaxing place to live, especially as an authority figure to the other Rebels. Tanner’s apartment has become a relaxing escape for herself. 

Neat or messy?: Kind of messy in the cluttered sense.

Sexuality: Straight.

Morals: Kara thinks her morals are pretty well rounded. She believes in Metahuman equality and wants to fight for it fairly, but she doesn’t believe in killing or aggressively gaining this equality. She will, however, kill for self defense or to protect someone, but she will still feel guilty about it. 

Activities: Fighting, training, teaching younger Rebels, sketching, drinking wine, reading, sketching

Friends? Pets?: Alice, Deidra, Daniel, Foster, and Ryan are her closest friends. She kind of adopted Aslan, Val’s cat, as her own after the other Rebel’s passing.

Enemies? Why?: Lucien Gaudet. The man tried to kill her, pretty much killed Connor, and took some of her eggs without permission to create the biological daughter of her and Connor as a science project. 

Basic Nature: Kara is definitely tough, witty, and unafraid to tell it like it is to someone’s face. She’s brave and strong, with quite the stubborn streak, and a difficulty in admitting when she’s wrong (but she’s working on it). She’s fiercely loyal and will go to the ends of the earth to keep those she loves safe and out of harm.

Personality Traits: Short-tempered, stubborn, strong-willed, bold, witty, sassy, creative, compassionate, calm, impatient, powerful, maternal, protective, argumentative, authoritative, intuitive, loyal

Strongest/Weakest Traits: Kara’s strongest traits are her protective nature, her wit, and her loyalty. Her weakest would be her temper and stubbornness, since these two traits make her reluctant in admitting when she’s wrong about something, and that has caused tension in her relationships before.

What do they fear?: She fears that the Rebels aren’t doing anything and never will, and that all they will accomplish against C.A.R.M.A is everyone getting killed fighting for Metahuman equal rights.

What are they proud of?: She’s proud of being part of the Rebel Army and the fact that she’s doing something (even if it’s not much) to work towards a better future for Metas and humans living together.

Outlook on life: She’s very realistic and secretly hopefully optimistic about the future.

Ambitions: To help the Rebels “win” the war of Metahuman oppression against the government and C.A.R.M.A without resorting to all-out violence.

Politics: Kara doesn’t feel as if she’s educated enough in most political areas to make an informed decision, but she’s very strongly for Metahuman equality and rights as a political stance. She does find herself slowly becoming more and more conservative with a few liberal values as she learns more.

How do they see themselves?: She likes to think she’s a strong and inspiring leader of the Rebels, but sometimes she doubts herself on doing a good job. 

How are they seen by others?: Sassy, sarcastic, witty, brave, a fearless leader. Some would say she’s incredibly stubborn and argumentative, and that may cause some dislike towards her.

Do I (the writer) like this person? Why? Why not?: Absolutely. Kara’s the kind of person I’d want as my ride or die best friend. She’s fiercely loyal and trustworthy, and definitely someone I’d want fighting for me in my corner.

Most Important Thing About Them: Her strength and loyalty.

Present Problem: C.A.R.M.A and the government are continuing to crack down on the rights of Metahumans, and the Rebels haven’t achieved much of anything except for an increasing body count in the last few years. The Rebel Army’s stagnant progress is becoming incredibly frustrating for Kara and other Rebels.

How it will get worse: There are a million different ways this could get worse, really. C.A.R.M.A could continue restricting their rights as Metas until they are absolutely boxed in even further. Rebels could start going against Nova orders and attacking C.A.R.M.A’s base in Pansaw, thus cementing the fact that the Rebels are terrorists when they aren’t supposed to be. The Nephilim continuing to spread fear and discord with using their powers to harm others certainly doesn’t help the Rebels’ name.

Their goals in this story?: Kara wants to one day live in a world where she can live a normal life while using her powers freely, go back to school to get her degree in fashion design, get married and start a family (after first getting a job and a place of her own, of course), and just be happy. To start achieving this, however, she and the Rebels need to somehow end the war of Metahuman oppression.

What traits will help/hurt them in achieving this goal?: Her determination, strength, resilience, and unwillingness to give up.

What makes them different from similar characters?: I think what makes Kara different is that she doesn’t let her gender define herself in a role of power as a young female leader of a civil movement. She’s strong on her own, but knows when to ask for help, and most importantly, she doesn’t let her love life or any man define herself, unlike a few female main characters. She also freely speaks her mind however she likes, even if some people may say it’s “unclassy for a lady to talk that way.” She literally gives no fucks.

Why will readers remember this character vividly?: I think what makes Kara so memorable is that she’s a strong female character in a position of leadership, and she can admit that she’s not a perfect person. She’s human and capable of making mistakes, and even learning from them, and that makes her relatable and admirable at the same time.

[ce-monds]

Know Thy Solar Plexus: Identifying the Self

Of course, no one knows you better than yourself, although your mother or a partner may argue otherwise. But, how much of ourselves are we acknowledging on a regular basis? After feeling some very strong sensations of losing touch with certain core parts of myself, and after a way-too-long bout (I’m talking years, ya’ll) of poor decisions, I’m moving out of my phase of intense Root & Sacral chakra nourishing. These centers that govern safety, survival, and interpersonal interactions are necessary to ground and protect the self, but what self, exactly, am I grounding and protecting? Though my safety, security, and physical interactions needed some mending (and still do), I recognize that I have not been moving from a place of my truest self. Great things have been happening in my life, but my whole authentic self hasn’t felt free enough to be involved in all of these great things. I recognize that I’ve chosen at least 2 partners in previous years who were controlling and/or needed to be taught far too many things in order for me to feel comfortable in continuing to see them. In the instance I wasn’t teaching, I was holding my tongue and emotions for the sake of their egos or emotions. I attracted a couple more of the same characters, that fortunately, didn’t stay around long enough to get too close. Some of these choices could also be attributed to Codependency, a friend revealed. But, it also really comes down to the discernment of when and how to accept/choose people into my life that I have attracted.  I recognize that I have not been nearly as reflective or written nearly as much as I have when I’ve been myself more fully. My focus on meditation, my creativity, even my decoding of dreams have been at an extreme low. All the while, I’m leading yoga classes, catering to other folks’ mental/emotional/spiritual needs, creating art, getting paid by the city to exhibit, etc. at some strange balance of fabricated capacity. It’s kinda like being a functioning [Insert word for loss of self], which is actually frighteningly normal for many of us in the world. This is why I’m shifting my focus towards my Manipura/Solar Plexus chakra. In this, I’m documenting my process in hopes that some things will become clear enough to create a program as an offering through my healing work. I’d also like for this to be public so that folks who want to explore with me can join in the learning process while I’m creating said program by experience. Be a pioneer on the ground level nshyt!

                  Be like Bey and step out in all your powerfulass glory.

What is the Solar Plexus Chakra?

The Solar Plexus, also called the Manipura (city of jewels), is our power center. It is located just above the navel at the vertical midpoint of the body and it governs digestion, our self-identity, and internal power. Anything from compromised security (including police brutality and systemic racism), constant exposure to trauma, abuse, IPV, unhealthy relationships and friendships, and even being passed over for an important opportunity can contribute to a damaged sense of self. Sometimes this can be minor and easier to heal. Sometimes it is more damaging and can cause us to lose, question, or distrust ourselves. These affect us and cause a disturbance to our power center, so we begin to overpower others or allow ourselves to be overpowered rather than empowering ourselves and others.

The solar Plexus has an element of fire and connects to the sun. Its color is yellow.

Characteristics of a Disturbed Manipura Chakra

Someone with an overactive Manipura chakra might experience: -Excessive control over people and things around you -Extreme criticism of others -Anger issues -Overplanning with few results -Overindulgence and/or overeating Folks with an underactive or blocked Manipura may experience: -Anxiety -Depression/Helplessness -Lack of confidence and poor self-image -Defensiveness -Indecision and/or lack of follow-through -Inability to focus and lack of organization -Lack of responsibility -Little self-control -Poor appetite Physically, pay attention to digestive issues, IBS, gas pains, stomach ulcers, eating disorders, diabetes, indigestion and the like as these can also result from an unbalanced Manipura. I’m sure you can imagine how these imbalances can pour over into all aspect of life; organizing for Black lives, liberation work, building and maintaining relationships, finding community, being effecient at your job(s), home life, maintaining healthy romantic partnerships, etc. If you’re able to see yourself in any of these, GREAT! We’ve got work to do. We all need some Manipura love. It’s always necessary when assessing yourself to remember that you are not a culmination of any undesirable characteristics, but are simply experiencing them as human. Now you must take the steps to remedy those undesirables. They do not define you unless you see them clearly and willfully continue to perpetuate them. This approach also keeps us honest with ourselves. Your assessment is entirely personal; the way you see yourself and your actions, what you observe in your everyday internal dialog, what you feel about yourself and your interactions with people, without regard to how you outwardly present yourself to get around in the world (Example, if you often present characteristics of the strong, Black resilient woman trope, but you know when you go home and close the doors, your willpower is a little weak or you have bouts of helplessness, be honest about that in your self-assessment. No one is going to see that assessment but you.)

Solutions, Please?

So, we’ve identified the imbalances and decided that we need some healing of our power center. Now we need to find out how. This Know Thy Solar Plexus program will lay out a variety of steps to take in order to do that.

First, we’ll start with one of the ways I know best: Breathing exercises known as pranayama. Because the Manipura’s element is fire, we want to work with heat. One great pranayama that builds heat in the abdomen is the Kapalabhati, or Breath of Fire. This one is a little easier to demonstrate than explain, so I’ll give it a go and also provide a good demo video I found online from a woman of color! I’ll get my own video game together one day soon.

Kapalabhati Pranayama

-Sit in a comfortable position with the back straight. -Place the hands wherever they are most comfortable. -Take a deep inhale -Contracting the diaphragm and pulling the belly in towards the spine, quickly exhale in short bursts. -After each short exhalation, allow the inhales to be passive. Your body will do that on its own. -Do this for no more than 30 exhales, and no more than 3 sets at a time.

*Remember that your exhales are active. Your inhales are passive.

I’ve been practicing this first thing in the morning (or afternoon for the late risings) every day to bring my focus into my personal power.

On a good day, go ahead and do this practice outside with the sun shining on you. ❤ *If you have high blood pressure, heart disease, glaucoma, hernia, epilepsy, are pregnant, or have had a recent abdominal surgery, do this practice slowly and with less force or avoid entirely. Don’t worry, there are a ton of other Manipura practices coming up!

Till next time! -Crys