#I may be a little inactive for a bit
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You mean to tell me that I slept until 4:45PM.
#what cramps do to a mf#also hella drugged up on pain medication rn and my heart is beating so fast#what a not day#anyways#I may be a little inactive for a bit#hella out of it and I haven’t drawn anything but toxic furry yaoi#rambles
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[!!!!!!BLOOD TW!!!!!!]
have a timtim sketch ive been wanting 2 post for a bit but hes part of a comic strip that is taking foreverrr 2 finish cus of school >:[
#tim drake#red robin#i may be a little burnt out but wateves heres a lil sketchie#mark my words this loser will have his lil loser comic sometime this month if its the last thing i do 😡😡😡😡#tim drake fanart#hes not actually rlly hurt in this hes jus like “wtf why am i on the floor”#banterdraws#ALSO MOOTS IF U SEE THIS SRRY 4 BEING INACTIVE 4 A BIT I ALMSOY GOT DETENTION AND HAD TO LOCK IN
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Sometimes you just find quotes from historical figures that make you go "yeah, they may not have been particularly the best person ... but the specific thing they point out right there, big mood"
#this is from one of Erwin Rommel's letters to his wife during the French campaign#I kinda started reading more history books again since I got one for my birthday not long ago#but it's also a state I find myself in way too often these days and I don't think it's healthy💀#i'm in this picture and i don't like it#I wonder though if he meant he was genuinely fine or more in an 'this is fine' meme way😭#but now that I think about it this is also kinda Firmus Piett core😭 he's not canonically married but he might write that stuff in his diary#how do i tag this#erwin rommel#history#quotes#random#selnia talks#but yeah just so you know whenever I'm being a bit inactive or distant#it's probably because I'm once again relating a little too much to how Rommel felt on May 11‚ 1940
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just a random edit I made
LOL SORRY FOR NOT POSTING MUCH I AM SLOWLY LOSING MY MOTIVATION RN💀
#gacha#gacha club#gacha oc#my oc#my persona#tsutsuji’s edits 💖(♡ ‿‿♡)💖👌#creator💖✨👌#Sry for being inactive a little bit lol#I may end up going on hiatus but idk🤷♀️#Also I added too many effects lol#Fun fact abt me I actually had a scar on my eyebrow after falling off of something
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some random screenies
#sims#sims 4#ts4#the sims 4#gameplay#fam:stratton#might be a little inactive for a bit bc bg3 comes out and i dont wanna be sad (or spoiled) so ill be playing smth to keep my mind off it#bc i can only play on xbox but i may have to wait until next year to play :(#i wanna see my slutty little bastard man astarion!!! :(((
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i'm gonna close requests for a little while so i can catch up on current ones and just make some stuff for fun!! i'll put a list of what's currently in the inbox below, if you don't see your stimboard request here then the ask might've gotten eaten/lost somehow by this hellsite but you can definitely send it again when i reopen requests.
current stimboard requests:
vermilion city from pokemon
papyrus from undertale
waffles from the owl house
twyla from monster high (g3)
nico yazawa from love live school idol project
pim from smiling friends
figment and dreamfinder
halloween at disneyland
rf wally from welcome home
#star.txt#not a stim#i know this may not sound like a lot of requests#but i start to feel bad if i'm taking too long on them lol#and i also don't wanna accidentally burn myself out and go inactive for months again#so yeah just gonna close reqs for a little bit so i can work on these
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I have never transcribed a video before, but this one feels too important not to.
Transcript:
"Hi, I have a degree in political science with a concentration in politics of different regions of the world, but I don't need these credentials to be able to explain to you why saying "both parties are bad" in this election in particular is wild.
Full disclosure, I was like a C student, I spent most of my time doing Theatre Club at the Air Force Academy - as you can see, I followed my bliss.
And listen, to preface, I've already told you about my experience in the military (for context, she has separate videos about her time in the military under Trump), I told you about how the climate in the military changed once the Tangerine was elected - such as the trans ban, such as getting rid of diversity and inclusion, such as the number of members from certain types of groups joining the military increasing, and that y'all should care about how it impacted the military - whether you like the military or not - as it is a group of American citizens that the president has direct control over. It is a preview of what he would do if he had direct control over the civilian population.
And for accounting my experiences and giving all of these facts as to why it would be dangerous to let this guy back into the White House again, some of the DMs I received were spicy.
Some person in particular called me a house slave.
They were not black.
I'll leave you to that.
And, uh, that person was not right wing either.
Very interesting to see what people have become comfortable with saying to us lately, and I'm a little heated, my hand is shaking cause I just read a little piece of Project 2025. So let's get into it.
Also, if you have anything to say about me being a black veteran, a former military member- I got something for that ass and I will embarrass you. Don't do it to yourself.
Okay, "Both parties are bad! Both parties are bad!" So I'm a political scientist, I understand. I realize that both main parties pander to marginalized groups, usually as a tool to get elected and nothing more. I know that candidates from both prominent parties very often make promises during their campaign that they don't end up keeping in their term. In the past elections people have used this as an excuse to stay home and not fucking vote.
Here I would like to introduce a term that I learned in dialectical behavioral therapy called Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance means observing the facts, examining your feelings about it, and realizing that you have to make choices based on how things actually are, not how you wish it were right now. It doesn't mean lying down and giving up on a different or better solution - it means you're gonna have to do the best that you can do right now.
In a given election you are never going to get to choose between Superman and Lex Luthor. The nature of politics is grimy. Even if a viable third party just rose out of the ground at some point, it will also never be delivering you your picture-perfect-morally-pure candidate.
I've been seeing a lot of content over the last few months about how a lot of far left rhetoric mirrors evangelical Christianity. I feel like this is kind of an example. Your Messiah is not coming. Sometimes you're going to have to choose between Lex Luthor and the Joker. If those are the only two viable options, guess who I'm voting for. Lex Luthor may be corrupt, but the Joker blows up hospitals.
Also hot take - given that the nature of politics is grimy and dirty; given that the United States of America has accumulated a lot of sins over the course of its existence; given that the nature of geopolitics is complicated and we are living in a world that is basically held together by the promise of mutually assured destruction to its several nuclear powerhouses, each having the ability to clap this planet's cheeks with a push of a button - it's not exactly an environment where one country can just go and unfriend another country on Facebook and just block and mute on TikTok - given all of that, Kamala is actually a decent candidate. You don't have to like that, you don't have to like her, but that resume is pretty strong for this job application - including the part where she is the sitting vice president.
By the way, this is not candidate worship, by the way. We really need to do something about the collective brain rot that has made people somehow unable to understand the concept of nuance- a word that makes me lose 10 brain cells every time I have to say it on this app, cause people love to engage in bad faith. Perhaps y'all have just become accustomed to seeing how the members of the Tangerine Club act; now you think that it's that or nothing at all.
You are allowed to be excited about a candidate. You are allowed to support a candidate and also be a little skeptical and also hold them accountable. Oh, you're allowed to have expectations of them and then when they get into office and if they don't meet those expectations, you're allowed to be disappointed. Showing support for a candidate does not mean that you have now joined a Scientology-like cult that you just can't get out of. You're allowed to change your thoughts on things as time goes by as you get new information. That's how people that voted for the Tangerine last time are gonna vote for Kamala this time. You know how that works?
Oh it's comical to me when people come into my comment sections about videos that have, actually, nothing to do with politics and they'll be like, "oh you voted for Biden, you voted for Biden! How's that going now, how's that going now? Do you regret it, do you regret it?"
No.
No. Me voting for Biden did not automatically anoint him as Jesus Christ, just that I had to choose between him - who had been the vice president of the United States before - and the guy that literally threw our country into a trash fire for four years and is a criminal and a predator. Yeah, that was an obvious choice for me.
Even though identity politics have not been part of her campaign, she has laid out her policies pretty clearly, but y'all are gonna say identity politics anyway because a black person- a black woman existing in any other context that a- any other kind of person exist can, just, automatically be seen as political. As a black woman, I'm allowed to be excited about the prospect of the first black woman President of the United States.
When Obama got elected, I was a teenager and I was being raised by a conservative, black, self-hating father who was a preliminary member of the Tangerine club - I was not allowed to be excited about that. It was not safe in my father's house to be excited about that. And his reasoning was actually, comically, the same as a lot of far leftist reasoning, that "it's not enough to just put a black person in there if he's not a good president, then it just doesn't count, it just doesn't count. If it's not perfect, then it's not really progress." Yet it's a standard that no construction paper colored man has ever been held to in pursuing this office. Another mirroring of toxic evangelical Christianity - moral purity.
You can hold space for both skepticism and excitement. You say you stand for progress, but then you turn around and do exactly what the far right does - hold people of color to an impossibly higher standard.
I'm gonna hold space for both skepticism and excitement and I'm going to allow myself to be excited about this - no one's taking that away from me again.
Dad if you can hear me from down there, I hope that just gave you heartburn.
"Oh both parties are bad!" I'm so glad that we still live in a reality where a qualified black woman can be considered as an equal choice to an unqualified Tangerine - but originally construction paper colored - predator, felon, treasonous orange, with no qualifications for the job, but alas he was given the job before anyways - because construction paper colored men - and sucked at it.
And y'all were all there.
The repeal of Roe v Wade, Covid- we were all there, we all saw the same things, did we not? He has literally laid out every terrible thing he wants to do if you allow him to have this job again. And some of y'all are really like 'mwemeh.'
Some of you may be too young to remember when it was actually sane to be able to say "oh both parties are bad" in an election. The impact that this guy has had over politics over the last few years - We are in distress!
This is a code red - Do you understand that? We don't have time for this.
During the Obama and McCain race, obviously those who were left leaning - "oh you want Obama, you want Obama, right?" - But no one was talking about leaving the country if McCain won!
You get what I'm trying to say here?
Pessimism is not only annoying- it is not productive. It is dramatic and unfruitful.
"Voting doesn't work anyway" - voting doesn't work as quickly as you would like it to. It's something that you have to continue to do over time to affect change, you have to have a consistency.
If voting doesn't do anything, well I guess that our ancestors who fought and died for us to have that right just died for nothing, right?
Okay!
Last point - if all of this seems a little too 'kaka!' to you, let me submit to you this: the United States is the biggest military power in the world. It is a lethal weapon, a missile, a bazooka. Whether you decide to get your ass off that couch and participate in November or not - that bazooka is going to be handed to somebody in January. Like it or not, there are only two actual options of people to hold that bazooka. Who do you want holding that bazooka? Hmm?
Keep in mind that one of those people wants it to be an option to be able to turn that bazooka onto us.
I just can't stop thinking about the things that black women have been called over the past few weeks. I can't stop thinking about somebody calling me a house slave. How, pray tell, do you expect to be able to keep on bullying black women into being beasts of burden for every single one of your social justice issues if we have less rights of Protection than we already do now?
Food for thought."
We don’t have time for “both parties are bad” this time - Nicque Marina
youtube
You can't build a better country or world, solar punk or otherwise if you don't have the freedom to do so. Citizens of the United States of America are responsible for the impact our policies have on the world. The previous Republican administration dismantled the government organization focused on dealing with pandemics and then COVID spread and killed so many world-wide. That is just one of millions of reasons to vote against the Republicans. It's easier to focus on mutual aid and community gardens when we aren't living with long COVID and burying our family and neighbors. Vote blue 🔵 and buy humanity a little time.
#If someone knows how to properly emphasize and add tone to text plz take what I transcribed and make it better jdklfajdsaf#if you're on the fence about voting or have decided not to vote#plz watch this video or read the transcription#and at least consider what she has to say#I also don't really want to vote for either party and I believe we deserve better#but this is what we have right now#voting Kamala is miles ahead in the better direction than voting for Trump#so either vote for the lesser evil or come up with a better way to enact change#not voting at all/doing nothing is voting for the status quo#if we choose inaction we choose to let things continue on the trajectory they're headed in#and we're currently on course for collision with the fucking sun#voting may only shift our trajectory a tiny bit#but if we keep shimmying#little by little we can eventually steer ourselves towards a better future amidst the stars and not into one
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R U MINE? feat gojo satoru (II)
gojo satoru has got to be the picture definition of a stereotypical college frat boy. he’s cocky, loaded with his daddy’s money, and dangerously handsome. it seems like common sense to stay away from him since you’ll never get more than a one-night stand out of it.
that’s why you choose to turn a blind eye once you’ve come to the horrific realization: you’re in love with him. and you’re just itching to ask…
“are you mine tomorrow? or just mine tonight?”
IMPORTANT: this is part TWO (and the final part) of the r u mine? mini series. make sure to read part one of this fic before proceeding! :)
content: 5.4k words, afab!reader, rich college frat boy gojo, SMUT (fingering & unprotected sex.. wrap it before u tap it kids!) ANGST, (i listened to deftones while writing the breakup era LMAOO i was in my feels 😔) gojo "everything reminds me of her" satoru is really going thru it, idk how to feel about the ending tbh, cheating implications, kinda proofread ig, more emo gojo (u luv to see it)
author's note: guys. where do i even start?? first of all, thank u for all the support on the first part of this mini series!! we also hit 100 followers on this blog so tysm for supporting me n my writing <3 here's the long awaited part two (n also the finale) as i promised that i would get it out over the weekend! just a quick announcement that i may be a little bit more inactive from here on out.. mainly because classes r starting again nd im starting to get busier. i do have more fic plans though, (and a geto smut in my drafts? 👀) so i'll make time to write when i can! happy reading and thank u for all the support on this silly little series :)
tags: @soley613 @feariteriu @bear-likes-mushrooms @96jnie @keilaq1 @whydohumansss @luftyluft @fatbootymuncher (bold = i'm unable to tag u)
reblog and interact for a kiss ;)
everything’s been hazy.
you don’t really remember how you got home– you either waved down a cab or walked until you somehow found your house. either way, the alcohol is worsening the pounding in your ears. the straps of your dress are clinging terribly against your skin–you want to take it off, you want to wear something more comfortable, you want to just go to sleep, preferably forever… but you can’t bring yourself to.
you can’t even bring yourself to move.
so the rumors really were true? but why did gojo pursue so far just for you? why did gojo say those words to you when you spent the night together? why did gojo try so hard to convince you that night that he wanted to have sex with you because he loved you–and not solely because he wanted to have sex?
why did gojo lie to you?
another series of pings sound throughout the room, and you finally move to silence your phone. the noise is all so overwhelming. why the hell is your phone blowing up?
you check your notifications–mostly dms from people you don’t know, either asking if you and satoru were dating, or questioning you about what the hell happened at the party. you know that you’re gonna be the subject of gossip once you’re back at campus, and you hate it.
you were surprised at the numbers once you scrolled down your notification list a little further. ten missed calls from satoru, accompanied by a series of fifteen panicked messages. you open it, and you stare sadly at his contact photo and name, remembering the fond memory behind it. once you two actually started dating, you were merciful enough to add a heart next to his name, and even updated it to “toru”. he was elated at that.
you think you can barely even call him gojo now.
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the most recent message was barely sent a minute ago. like it was on cue, you see the bright headlights pull up outside of your door. you wanted to sink into your couch and never resurface ever again.
you hear suguru’s car door open and close, and then frantic knocking outside. you walk to the door while sniffling, looking through the peephole just to confirm your suspicions. it was satoru.
“i can hear you crying through the door, y/n. i know you’re there.” he takes a deep inhale, and the tears start rolling down your cheeks again once you hear the complete and utter vulnerability in his voice. you just don’t know what to believe anymore. “shit, i’m crying too. well, i’m gonna explain myself even if you don’t care enough to listen to me. uhm, believe it or not, what happened at the party wasn’t my doing… at all. when you went to use the bathroom, this girl went up to me and started flirting with me, like she was waiting for you to leave or somethin’. i was g’na tell her to go fuck off but she pushed herself on my lap and before i could do anything about it you walked in and it was just all horrible timing and- god. i know it sounds unbelievable, right? you must think i’m terrible right now.”
“you don’t have to believe me. if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t know what to think either. i’m just… explaining what happened.”
there’s a long period of silence between you and satoru, aside from the occasional sniffling on both ends. you don’t know what to say. you want to believe him. you want to do nothing more than to open the door and let him hold you in his arms again, but you just don’t know what to think anymore. you poured your entire heart out to a man who you knew you shouldn’t be messing with, and now you don’t know who or what to believe. you feel like a fool, and you’re just tired. so damn tired. the silence feels asphyxiating, like it's tearing your relationship with satoru further and further apart the longer it draws on.
satoru is the first one to break the silence. “i’m guessing from the silent treatment that you don’t believe me. it’s okay, y/n. i’ll wait an eternity for you to forgive me because i’ll always choose you- fuck… over anything, and i hope you know that.”
your mind is a mess, and satoru’s words make it even messier.
i’ll wait an eternity for you
i’ll always choose you over anything
you put your head in your hands and sob. it hurts.
a minute passes–gojo hears you get up from where you’re sitting behind the door, and his heart fills with hope.
“i just… i just don’t know how to believe you, gojo.”
his heart breaks when he hears the door–presumably to your bedroom–open and close, leaving him alone with his shattered heart. his heart breaks when he takes in your voice, noticing how weak and exhausted you sounded. he wonders how much you’ve cried just from this past hour alone. his heart breaks once he realizes that he’s alone with his thoughts again, alone with the voice in his head that was berating him for not being able to prevent all of this if he hadn’t frozen up and just pushed her away the second that girl started flirting with him. finally, his heart breaks once it registers that you called him gojo–the last name that he shares with his corrupt and money-crazy family… the family he tries so hard to get away from. it was also the name you called him during the days that you barely trusted him.
now, he’s back to square one, and he has none of your trust again. this time, satoru swears that he’ll do anything in his power to get it back once more.
you didn’t come to school today.
there’s been nothing but radio silence on your end. gojo has sent you countless messages over the weekend asking how you’ve been, with the occasional desperate voicemail where he tells you that he loves and misses you. you’ve turned off your read receipts, so gojo doesn’t even know if you’ve seen his texts or listened to his voicemails. he’s concerned for you, even though he knows that he’s the reason behind all of this. he was hoping to talk things out with you today.. but you weren’t even here.
one thing gojo knew about you is that you cared deeply about your academics, and you wouldn’t miss attendance even if you were sick. it pains him to know that he was the reason that you weren’t here today. you were avoiding him, and he felt helpless.
he’s talked to geto—and the best advice that his best friend could offer was to “find proof that you didn’t cheat on her.” he’s right, though. the last thing you had said to gojo was that you don’t know how to believe if he’s telling the truth or not. gojo has absolutely no idea how to prove his fidelity to you, since words clearly weren’t enough. it frustrates him to no end.
gojo now knows that he feels absolutely lost. all when he’s not with you.
it feels nerve-wracking to walk the halls.
he remembers telling you the night that you slept together that he’d learned over time to drown out the rumors about him. he learned not to care about what other people thought about him, and he eventually became unaffected by the school’s gossip.
however, this time was different.
this time, he finds it difficult to drown out the rumors when he hears your name in them. he flinches every time someone whispers your name and his as he walks the halls, feeling that all eyes are on him. “i heard y/n and gojo broke up…” “they were dating?!” “yeah.. i didn’t believe it at first, either! apparently he…”
he doesn’t want to hear it, so he walks a little faster. it hasn’t felt this suffocating to be on campus in a while.
maybe that’s partially why you didn’t show up. rumors are hard to ignore if you don’t know how to shun them out.
gojo lets out a sigh. he decides that he’s going to ditch the rest of class. you weren’t here, he couldn’t talk to you, and he felt he was gonna go mad if he heard your name spoken by someone again, so he turns to leave, but flinches as he feels a hand lightly tap his shoulder.
“gojo-san?”
he turns around, with a girl that he’s never seen before standing in front of him… not that he pays attention to them in the first place, though. he raises his eyebrow in question, and the girl looks so nervous she might pass out. “i have to tell you something-“
“if it’s a love confession or whatever, i don’t want to hear it-“
“-no!” she flushes a deep shade of red, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes. she coughs awkwardly at his expression. “um, no.. it’s not that. please, just give me two minutes in the library. i have something to tell you.”
he decides to entertain this girl for a bit. he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious about what she had to talk to him for. gojo sighs and says, “two minutes. that’s all you’re getting.”
“this is about the party last friday, no?” he says while taking a seat near one of the tables. he feels sick just being here. he’d never gone to the library before meeting you–as he had no reason to go here at all. then, he started accompanying you everywhere as he tried to win your heart. “study dates” were frequent here, and he even remembers forcefully changing his contact name and number on your phone during one of your dates.
gosh, everything literally reminds him of you. he can barely live like this.
she takes a seat across from him, and she shamefully nods at his words. “i went to the party on friday, and i just want to say i’m sorry-”
gojo gets up to leave. he can’t do this. he doesn’t need anyone’s pity. pity can’t change the fact that you still won’t talk to him. she panics as gojo is about to walk away. “wait!”
the librarian tells her to quiet down, and she mutters an apology. still, she persists. “please, just wait for two minutes… i need two minutes to explain myself. you promised you’d give me that.”
she stares at gojo, who hasn’t left yet, and takes that as her opportunity to speak. “i was a friend of… her,” he doesn’t need an explanation to know who she was talking about. “the reason why she came up to you was because of a dare i told her to do. she’s had a crush on you for a while now, so of course she was willing to flirt with you.”
“um, that was the dare, by the way. my friend told me to record it, because we were all drunk, and we thought it would be funny. just another memory to laugh at in the future, right? we didn’t know you were dating the girl you were with at the party. sorry but, we assumed she was just a fling… or something… we didn’t know she was your girlfriend.”
“yeah, i was dating the girl at the party.” gojo scoffs, and he feels his anger bubbling up again. “then your friend had to do that stupid dare, and she won’t fuckin’ talk to me now.”
“i’m sorry-”
“i don’t need your apologies. is that why you came up to me? to apologize so you don’t feel guilty about what happened anymore?” gojo sneers. he was right, though. guilt is ridden all over her face, and she can’t even meet his eyes. he’s about to leave, thinking that this entire conversation was useless, but gojo thinks back on what she said earlier.
“...my friend told me to record it…”
he turns back to look at her, which surprises her, to say the least. “hey, you said you recorded the dare, right?”
“uhm, yes.”
“so you still have the video?”
“it should be in my camera roll somewhere-”
“if you came here to apologize to me, then you should send me that video.” she looked a little horrified at his words, and gojo could almost laugh. “what? i’m not gonna do anything bad with it, god.”
she thinks about what gojo’s intentions could be with that video, and her eyes light up in recognition as she connects the dots from what he said beforehand. i was dating the girl at the party… then your friend had to do that stupid dare… and she won’t fuckin’ talk to me now.
she nods in understanding. this is the least she could do for him. she pulls out her phone, looking for the video, and says, “i hope you two make up soon, gojo-san.”
gojo satoru walks- no, runs out of that library with determination. determination as he finally has the video evidence of what happened at the party–his saving grace so he could finally get you to forgive him.
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you miss him.
you miss him like hell, actually, and you blink at the messages he just sent you in complete disbelief.
you didn’t show up to class today because you were afraid. you were afraid to see satoru again, yes, but you were also afraid of what everyone else would say about you. the party was one thing, but the after-effects and the rumors were something completely different. you didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that, unlike satoru, so you stayed home. all because you were afraid of what would happen on campus.
you just wish things would go back to how they were before… all of this happened. you didn’t want to admit it, but you’ve read all of satoru’s messages, and you’ve listened to all of his voicemails. you’ve cried to them. and it hurts because you’re still torn apart in the midst of your own feelings. and now, satoru wants to talk to you, because he’s been wanting to do nothing but fix everything between the two of you.
the doorbell rings, and you almost jump out of your skin.
you didn’t even know if you would open the door or not. despite that, you felt your body moving on its own, like you were relying on your own instincts. you washed your face to get rid of the dried tears on your cheeks, brushed the tangles out of your hair, and dressed into something more presentable. the next thing you know, you’re leaning against the wall next to the front entrance. your shadow is visible underneath the door, so satoru knows that you’re here.
“hi, y/n..” he sounded so nervous that you almost laughed, but you felt equally as terrified as him. “i have something to show you… uh, on my phone. if you don’t want to see me, it’s fine, i’ll just send it to you, but i’d really prefer if you open the door and we’ll talk about this inside-”
your hand is already reaching the door knob before you can even think about it. it’s such an impulse decision that you look at him in surprise once you open the door. it’s the first time you’ve seen him ever since you were at the party. it’s only been three days, but you can’t help but notice how his eyebags are more prominent, his eyes are a little redder, and he looks nothing short of exhausted.
“hey,” he manages to breathe out, his eyes meeting yours. “can i come in? please?”
you nod, too stunned to say anything, and he exhales in relief as he walks in. the two of you sit on the couch, and gojo notices how you’re keeping your distance from him. it breaks his heart a little.
he looks for the video on his phone and gets ready to show it to you. this is it. his last ditch effort for your forgiveness. he’s really fuckin’ hoping that this works. “i got this video from a girl who came to the party. it’s a recording of, um, what happened.”
he hands the phone over to you, and you take it skeptically, still choosing to keep silent. you press play, and you watch the recording. a shaky hand holds the camera, and the person behind it says, “holy shit, she’s actually doing it!” they're presumably talking to their friend, and the camera focuses on a girl walking over to gojo. your heart is pounding, eyes widening in recognition as you stare at her... the one who caused all of this in the first place.
the all too familiar girl comes up to him, saying something out of earshot. when gojo looks at her, completely uninterested, she pulls that move. the scene you saw at the party before you ran out. tears fill your eyes again, and you almost want to stop the video, but your interest is piqued at the next part.
..this… this part was something that you didn’t see. gojo angrily reacts at the girl’s move, with her falling on the floor as she looks at him, stunned at how furious he looks. the person behind the camera gasps, continuing to record out of shock as a crowd of people turn to stare at the two. geto eventually comes into the frame and takes gojo away from all the chaos. the video ends there, and you grip gojo’s phone shakily.
holy shit.
tears roll down your face, but this time, they’re tears of relief. you waste no time in hugging satoru, crying your heart out as you bury your face in his neck. you’re happy. you’re so fucking happy, and so relieved knowing that he didn’t lie to you. of course he didn’t.
“m’sorry-” you sniffle into his shoulder. gojo is so shocked at what was happening that it takes him a second to hug you back, but when he does, he starts crying. “m’so fucking sorry i didn’t believe you-”
“shh, it’s okay, it’s okay…” he says, and you only hug him tighter. “m’so tired, you know that? these past three days fucking sucked. i’m just so glad you’re in my arms again, fuck-”
“-i love you, i love you, i love you so fucking much, toru.” you repeat, laughing as you kiss him all over his face. it’s been a while since you said that to someone. you wipe his never-ending tears away, still in disbelief, and whisper, “you’re real. right? you’re actually here with me right now ‘nd i’m not dreaming, right?
“i’m very much real, baby.” he says, putting his forehead against yours as you take in his features again. “god, i missed that pretty face so much.”
he finally closes the gap between you two, pulling you into a much needed kiss. it’s a kiss filled with so many emotions–desperation, happiness, relief. satoru thinks his heart is finally whole again. he’s missed you. he’s missed you so fucking much, and you’ve missed him too.
you’re like an anchor to satoru. the light of his life that keeps him grounded. and god, he’s been apart from you for too long.
you reposition yourself as you’re deepening the kiss. you’re on his lap now, and you wrap your arms around his neck, tugging on his hair in desperation. “oh yeah? ‘y gonna do anything about it?"
“of course i am,” he says, hands roaming underneath your shirt as he caresses your bare waist. fuck. he needs you. right now. especially after thinking that he was about to lose you forever–for something that he didn’t even do. “i’m gonna show you just how much i missed you, baby.”
gojo can’t let you go.
you’re in your bedroom, and both of you waste no time undressing each other. he takes you in–all of you, in awe of every crevice of your body as he trails his hands further down your waist.
god, you’re so beautiful. “i can’t believe i almost lost you.”
his words are shaky, like he’s still uncertain that you’re real and you’re in his arms again. he can’t seem to break himself away from you, almost like you’ll disappear if he lets you go. “but i’m here now, toru.”
“i’m here to stay, and i’ll never let you go again… ‘m yours,” you whisper, and your words set a fire in him, fueling his body with nothing but desperation. desperation to have you right here, and right now.
he wastes no time in plunging two of his fingers in your cunt, and he groans at just how wet you are. “satoru-”
“fuck, you’re so wet… and it’s all for me,” he mutters, spreading your legs effortlessly when you try to close them, thighs shaking in pure pleasure. he adds another finger, and you already feel stretched to the brim, and you haven’t even taken him in yet. the thought of his cock inside of you makes you even wetter than you already are, and you look up at satoru with eyes full of lust and desire. “missed you so much, baby. missed you and your pretty little cunny,”
his fingers are long, and you whine at how full you feel right now. you’re so loud, and you don’t even care. right now, it’s just you and satoru finally feeling each other again. it’s only been three days, but it feels like you’ve been apart for years.
everything about this was filthy. from your erotic moans and the way your cunt squelched against his fingers… not to mention the vice grip you had on them- fuck, satoru thinks he can cum untouched just from watching you like this.
“haa-” you whimper when his fingers curl and hit that spot in your cunt that you can barely seem to reach on your own. it’s exhilarating, and only fuels the growing heat in your stomach. “toru- don’t stop- please, i’m close-”
“really?” he taunts, and it feels so fucking good–your head is numb, and the only thoughts filling your head are thoughts of satoru. the pleasure is too much, and you try to get away from him, but he keeps you in place, curling his fingers faster as punishment. “don’t run away from me, baby… be a good girl and just take it, yeah?”
“toru- fuck- i’m gonna cum, please-” you’re on the brink of release, but suddenly, he stops, ruining your orgasm. “no- wait-”
he pulls his fingers out, and you whine at the loss of stimulation. you were so close–why did he take that away from you? you try and swat at his hands, but he just takes his fingers and puts them in his mouth, locking his eyes with yours with a sly smile. “you taste so sweet, i can’t help it,”
“aww, is my baby mad ‘cause she didn’t get to cum?” he coos sarcastically, caging you in between his arms as he tilts your face up with his finger. “too bad… the only thing you’re cumming on tonight is on my cock.��
and with that, he eases his painfully hard member into your walls. your insides hugged him perfectly–it was like you were made just for him. you gasp once he’s fully sheathed himself inside of you. his fingers were already a lot to take in, but his cock was something completely different. he moans your name, barely keeping his cool. “fuck- you’re squeezing me so tight,”
“missed everything about you, baby. i need to hold you, please,” he pleads desperately, clasping your small hands against his. the size difference alone between the two of you almost makes him cum, but he holds himself back, choosing to bask in this intimate moment. he’s missed every part about this. “you ready f’me?-”
“-just fuck me, satoru, please-” he doesn’t need another confirmation from you.
he can’t bring himself to hold back. next thing you know, he’s fucking you into the mattress, and you feel the headboard shake at how fast satoru is going. fuck–you feel every part of him, every part of his cock as it slams against your tight hole. he’s so big, you feel yourself gasping for breath, and you moan out loud as you notice the prominent bulge forming in your stomach. it’s him, it’s all him, and it’s driving you mad.
satoru follows your eyes in the midst of all of this, and he watches everything in fascination. he decides to be a little mean, and presses his free hand against your stomach–it feels so good, you could almost scream at the pleasure. “you feel that, baby? that’s all me inside of you, hmm?”
“please-” the onset of pleasure feels so overwhelming, and tears fill your eyes. you feel an oncoming orgasm coming, and you know your release will hit you like a tidal wave. your heart is pounding, but satoru only grips your hand tighter and fucks you even harder. “oh, fuck!”
“m close, baby. are you g’na cum too?” he manages to say between pants, and you somehow nod, mind hazy and your release only coming closer. you feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “cum inside of me, toru- please- i need to feel you-”
gojo groans at your words, and you both cum together. you ride out your high, screaming as you spasm around his cock, the pleasure overfilling your senses until you’re trembling from it. he fills you up, staying inside of you as the two of you catch your breath. everything’s hazy, and you’re barely aware of your surroundings… it takes you a few minutes to recover.
“angel, are you with me?”
“yeah, fuck, just… give me a second.” you say, and gojo thinks that he would gladly give you all the time in the world if you needed it. he pulls out of you with a hiss, and his warm seed drips out of your cunny. it makes his cock twitch, but he knows that you’re probably not considering a round two right now.
when you come to your senses, you notice satoru–who put his clothes back on already, wiping your legs down with a rag. his touch is so soft, like he’s afraid to break you, unlike how he handled you just a moment ago. you look down and notice the bruises starting to form on your legs and waist. satoru looks guilty as he stares. “i didn’t go too rough with you, did i?”
“not at all,” you reassure him, and you see him soften up a little. “it felt really good, actually… thank you, toru.”
“s nothing. you know my girl only gets the best,” he teases, and you laugh. “i’m gonna go get you some new clothes and some water… i’ll be back, okay?”
you nod, closing your eyes again as satoru leaves the room. he’s back in two minutes, and he’s gently changing you into new clothes that he found in your drawer. you’re so tired that you can hardly move, so you let satoru do all the work. he caresses all of your bruises, apologizing again even if you already said that it was okay. he’s so gentle, a swift juxtaposition to what just happened beforehand, and so soft with you. once you’re clothed again, he brings a glass of water against your lips, and you greedily gulp it down as he keeps a hand on your back. he places it on the nightstand once you’re finished, and you grab his wrist after, tugging him back to the bed. “lay with me for a bit, toru.”
satoru doesn’t hesitate, laying down next to you on the bed and placing your head against his chest. your breathing is back to normal, and you feel his heart thumping against your ear. you wrap your arms around him, and satoru thinks that this moment is so domestic that he can’t help but daydream. he looks at your face, memorizing every feature about you with a lovesick look in his eyes. you’re so beautiful, so perfect, and he’s just so fucking glad that he didn’t lose you.
satoru thinks he could wake up to this everyday.
“you’re starin.” you say with an amused look on your face. gojo doesn’t even try to play it off. “what’s on your mind?”
“nothing. i just… love you so much, y/n.” he says, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead. satoru would trade anything if it meant that this moment wouldn’t end. “m so glad you chose me.”
“i think it’s the other way around,” you tease. “you chose me. ever since you saw me at the party, you’ve done nothing but try to win my heart.”
“how could i not? there was just something different about you compared to everyone else.” he reminisces about that night at the party, and how far he’s come with his relationship with you. he remembers that night like it just happened yesterday.
you sigh, almost like you were thinking about that night too. you pull him into a kiss, finally finding the courage within you to say a proper “i love you.” to the man who meant the world to you.
“i love you too, angel.” he says, and you snuggle into him tighter. “you know i’ll always choose you…”
“..from this life and into the next. i’m so glad you gave me a chance, y/n. i’ll forever be grateful to now be called your husband. i’m the luckiest man ever knowing that you let me into your life, and i’m the one who gets to read these vows to marry you. i cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. i love you so much, y/n gojo.” he’s crying. gojo satoru is crying, and he’s hardly ever cried before. though, that changed after he met you.
the last time he cried was during pre-k, and now he’s done it time and time again… all because of you. he cried once during your first argument with him, another during the night he thought he’d lost you forever, and then another when he finally had you in his arms again once he proved his innocence… and now, during his wedding, when he finally gets to call you his wife.
and when you share your kiss at the end of the ceremony to symbolize your togetherness, you hear all your friends cheering. mainly shoko, utahime, and geto. if you showed this very scene to shoko during your university years, she’d call you crazy, saying this would never happen. gojo satoru was once a man who’d never willingly committed in a relationship before, but you came into his life and you changed everything about him. it was like magic.
you pull away from the kiss, wiping his tears away and whispering against his lips, drowning out the crowd, “thank you.”
for memorizing all my favorite foods so you could buy them for me. for walking me to class every day. for making me fall in love with you that one day at the park. for waiting for me to slowly love you even when i was scared to love. for waiting for me even if i didn’t trust you. for loving me. for proving those rumors wrong. for proving that satoru gojo is actually capable of falling in love and pouring his heart out to the one he loves the most.
for everything that you have done to love me.
it was like gojo could hear all of your unspoken words. he smiles, letting one more tear roll down his cheek, and says, “it’s all worth it if it’s for you.”
thanks for reading <3 -kami.
#kami writes#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru comfort#gojo x reader angst#gojo angst#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo smut#gojo x you smut
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hiii tumblr i'm back i hope my mooties find this
A little bit about me: I'm Ani (she/they), a 20 year old digital artist who had a tumblr for a bit but went inactive. I'm returning now with a fresh account to keep things simple. You may remember me as @/aaliendna with my old acc, or know me from twitter or TH as @/dollyinspace!
I mainly post fnaf related stuff; I've been in the fandom for several years now but I mostly just take the basic concepts of fnaf and run with my own aus, as opposed to theorizing or getting into the actual games. lmao. I also may occasionally post other fandoms, nonfandom OCs who are very special to me, or advertise adopts or OCs I'm selling. I'm excited to be back and find some old and new friends! 💗
(attached is a cute doodle i did awhile back, for engagement! enjoy!)
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#toy chica#withered bonnie#my art#artists on tumblr#blah blah#through our eyes AU
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First Dates with Curtis Gang !! (HCs)
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(These might sound a bit ‘inaccurate’ to some, but I personally think everyone would be a bit nervous/shy on a first date as well as being more soft. I mean, it’s a date with just the two of you, trying to look tough isn’t their biggest worry lol. I try to keep everything as accurate as possible. I also tried to keep these as gender neutral as possible but I am a cis fem so I can really only see scenarios through my own eyes. I’m trying!)
Warnings - Just fluff, how I think a first date situation with each member would go
Author’s Note - I GOT THREE FICS COOKED UP IN MY DRAFTS WHICH EXPLAINS MY INACTIVITY !! ENJOY 🫂
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.* *.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.* *.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Ponyboy
He would lose his mind trying to make everything perfect. I feel he’s not the type to ask someone out without being friends or at least acquaintances first, he has to know you. He needs to know some of your interests, things you dislike - basics. He’ll curate the date and try to incorporate things he knows you’re into to create better conversation.
He definitely thought he was going to get rejected when he first asked you on the date. He mentally rehearsed what he was going to say for at least a week until the date planned finally arrived. He purposefully tried to look his best that exact day to impress you further.
Ponyboy would sooo take you out on a movie date ☹️. He would go for someone who shares similar interests as him - the love for movies a big one on his checklist. He would save up to buy tickets for the both of you to look good instead of just sneaking in. He might even bum Darry of a few cents to ensure he had enough.
“So… how’s about we go see a movie tonight? Tickets for two, on me.”
He definitely smiled like a complete idiot after the question was posed, feeling embarrassed already.
His biggest accomplishment of the night would be to ‘subtly’ hold your hand. He’s too scared to straight up grab it, so he would try to work his hand towards yours as the movie progresses.
He felt more mature than usual. A first date with you was probably his first date ever so it was probably an even bigger deal to him than most.
Johnny
He had his eye on you for a good while before he finally found the right opportunity to ask you out. I can see him watching you from afar in class or somewhere during school, sitting there and drowning in admiration. He would give little side glances with a straight face so that nobody would think he was looking your way. He is Mr. Nonchalant at its finest 🙁🙏🏻
He would finally break it to Dallas he’s got the hots for “some kid at school” and ask how he should make a move. Obviously Dallas would tease him a bit, only to give him tips Johnny would never use. “You go up to ‘em, tell ‘em where the date is - introductions later. Add a little kiss on the cheek and there ya go.” Johnny would probably force a laugh or something and make a mental note to do the exact opposite.
HE WOULD ASK YOU TO A DINER !! I literally can’t stress this enough, Johnny needs to be able to be a listener at times and the speaker at others. He would strategically plan this shit out and eliminate any other ‘typical first dates’ besides going out to eat. Conversation gets awkward? He’s planning to shovel some food in so you feel obligated to talk more. This gives him a good opportunity to get to know you more and ask for your opinions on the food there, which flavor of milkshake you prefer best, or small talk about school and things you may have in common. He’s such an observer and he’ll find lots to talk about when it’s just you two.
Similar to Ponyboy, he was probably so worked up about thinking of asking you on the date. I can see him picking at that little area of skin beside his nails while he asks you, giving you a lopsided smile because he felt stupid. He’d try to think of some excuse to talk to you before asking you out.
“So I was thinking if you, y’know… wanna get something to eat later…? We could go to that diner if you’re up for it.”
He would literally not stop smiling when you accepted the offer. Johnny would do a good job at hiding the flustered feeling pretty well, but hiding a smile that big is hard for him.
I honestly don’t see him as the type to try to impress people. He is who he is and he wants someone who will actually be interested in his normal self. I don’t see him trying to fancy himself up or anything along those lines.
During the date he would try to sneak as many little glances as possible without trying to show it. Obviously he finds you attractive if he’s desperate enough to ask you out, but he doesn’t want to seem too obsessive.
He’d offer to walk you home and be the bigger person even though he doesn’t like to roam around alone at night anymore. He’d be a little hesitant, but he wants to feel protective of some sort and what better what to show it than walk you home and keep you safe?
Dallas
Surprisingly, if Dallas truly has interest for someone he won’t be so bitter about it. He can’t control how his own personality is perceived by others, but he’ll surely tone it down a bit just for your sake.
Social anxiety is afraid of Dallas. He’ll be in the middle of the most mundane task when he notices you. I can totally see him at a gas station, filling up Buck’s car, or attempting to steal some cigarettes from a corner store when he bumps into you. Unlike the others, I feel as if he goes solely off of looks before personality. He’s so raw and isn’t afraid to speak his mind.
His flirting style is a bit aggressive but it surprisingly works half the time - if the attraction is mutual of course. Dallas would say some corny pick up line or straight up call you some pet name before posing the question. He’s definitely the persistent type for sure. If you turn him down he’ll try and persuade his way into the date becoming an official plan.
“Damn, baby - I forgot all about our date tonight,” while proceeding to show he’s checking you out, no hesitation. While you’re over there confused out of your mind, he’ll laugh to himself and attempt to get you to play along.
“I’m serious. Be over at Buck Merril’s Roadhouse at ten.”
I can’t see him doing anything cutesy or romantic on a first date. He’s like the opposite from most, he’ll save the sweet stuff until he’s comfortable and knows he can be more vulnerable with you. His idea of a first date is something he would most likely do with friends.
Dallas would invite you over to lay down with him and get to know your personality better. He’s not so excited to know all of your interests and desires yet, but rather how you are as a person and your morals. He’d probably try to put on a movie in the background while inviting you to share a blunt in bed. He finds conversation to be what reels him in most, and he knows the best conversations flow when high.
He would be such a tease the entire night. He would let small comments slip, even small touches and gestures to help ease you into growing more comfortable with him. He’ll make it his goal to have you wanting more and more of him - hopefully leading to more dates to come.
Sodapop
He probably fell in love at first sight and immediately knew the two of you would have chemistry.
I just know he saw you at the DX and waltzed right up to you with that big, charming grin on his face.
Soda is definitely more bold when he asks somebody out because he knows he’s handsome. Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t reject him.
“Name is Soda, Sodapop actually,” while he proceeds to introduce himself to you and converse for a few minutes before asking the big question. I feel he’s such a friendly and kind person so he’d definitely be good at making interesting conversation and let it flow naturally before he even attempts to mention a date.
“We should totally see each other sometime. Like - soon.” followed up with a sweet smile while he waits for your response.
I feel like he’s such a family type of guy. He would have to make sure you love his friends as well as Ponyboy and Darry only because he sees them as brothers too. I feel like Soda would have a big hangout with the gang where he invites you and weasels his way into claiming it’s a ‘date’.
I think of something casual and fun like a bonfire where you all chit chat and make s’mores, huddled up against each other. This seems more of like a fall/winter type of date but HEAR ME OUT!!
So of course, you accept his offer and head over to his place where you meet the others and accompany them while sitting beside Soda.
He would for sure tell them about you before hand and try to make them get their act together because he feels as first dates are more important than others. Leaving a good first impression is vital. “Just be cool, we’re gonna have fun, don’t embarrass me this time... please?” with a cheesy ass smile to seal it in.
STOP BC SODAPOP IS SUCH A KISS GOODBYE TYPE OF PERSON !!
Soda would try to get all cuddly and shit by the fire the whole night, progressively getting more bold. He would start with small compliments and smiles, moving towards looping an arm around you, etc. By the end of the night he feels like he’s made enough progress to get a little goodbye kiss from you, even if it’s a small peck on the cheek.
“Aw, come on, no kiss?” as he gently places his hands on your upper arms.
Steve
Steve seems like such a sweet guy once you get past the whole ‘tough guy’ exterior he likes to keep up. He would definitely have to know you a bit before asking you out, so I think you would be somewhat friends with him previous to the big question.
He lovesss people with that natural spunk so I can see him taking you out to some party for kicks. Nothing crazy, but some small venue where music is bumping and the two of you can just share a good time without having to worry about much else.
OKAY SO Steve is definitely more of a bolder type of person when it comes to asking someone out. He’s not shy or nervous or anything - more so expectant.
He gets a bunch of attention from all kinds of customers at the DX although they usually rush to see Soda first.
He gets a lottt of tips from Soda on how to shoot his shot and not get flat out rejected.
Steve would probably have been crushing on you for a good while before making a move. I can see the two of you are engaging in the gang’s typical activities, hanging out or chit-chatting in the lot. Steve tries to subtly have some alone time with you when he executes the big question. I just know he asked Soda and/or Dallas to help distract the others 😭
He’ll try and keep his cool even though he’s beyond excited to finally spill it. I’m talking like clearing his throat and uncontrollably smiling seconds prior.
“What do you say to maybe goin’ to some party with me come this weekend?”
All goes accordingly and here comes the day of the date. He’ll try his absolute best to look spotless just to further impress you.
He would offer to pick you up and everything as he tries to seem like a gentleman.
Once you arrive, he would break the ice immediately and take you by the hand to dance, not caring enough to waste time being stuck in that awkward phase.
I just know he would get so flustered when you come in close contact or have some form of physical touch within a specific dance. Steve Randle is touch deprived. He loves that shit.
During upbeat songs he would actually kill it and own the dance floor with you with no shame whatsoever.
Whether it’s an upbeat and groovy song or a more slow one, he’d make the most of every moment with you and try to make this night one to remember in hopes you’ll want to go out again sometime soon.
Darrel
Darry would be the best boyfriend to ever exist, lemme tell you right now.
He’s definitely a big family guy as well, so it’s not surprising he would want someone who’s willing to commit and have intimate and vulnerable moments with.
Since he’s 20, I feel this is a time for him where people his age start to forget about having a stupid high school relationship and begin looking for a serious relationship.
I’m getting ‘friends throughout teenage years, lovers as young adults’ kind of vibes from Darry. The two of you most likely kept in contact and see each other here and there since senior year ended.
Darry would have mentally prepared himself to ask you out for a date at least a week in advance after noticing he’s caught feelings for his high school buddy.
He was most likely pacing around and trying to script out his lines before he finally gathered enough courage to call you. Since seeing each other face to face is harder to get around with work and watching out for his brothers, he resorts to calling you late at night when Soda and Ponyboy are asleep.
He wouldn’t stall or try to linger on about the topic, he would get straight to the point, just like ripping off a bandaid.
“Hey, it’s been a minute since I last saw you and everything. How does a date sound? I’ve been eyeing that restaurant downtown for a while…we might enjoy it.”
I know he would be giggling and smiling nonstop after you accepted his offer 😭
Come the day of the date, Darry had saved up enough to make a reservation at the somewhat fancy restaurant he mentioned on the phone call. (It’s canon that Darry would most likely be a soc if it weren’t for the gang so I’m envisioning this date based off of that.)
He would so give you his jacket/blazer before he sat down on his side of the table. I’m talking like wrapping it around your shoulder type of thing.
The restaurant is definitely more fancy than the usual diner he’d buy some cheap fast food from, but not fancy like some banquet. He would try and make everything run smoothly by planning it beforehand with the booking, nicer outfit, and picking you up to drive you there.
During the date he would sit and admire you from across the table as you awaited your food, loving the sound of your voice as you rambled on and on. He would’ve planned this whole thing out, trying to come up with a date where you could get to know one another without having to do much else. The point of the date is to talk, not have fun and goof around - but maybe catch up on life together.
Two-Bit
He isn’t one to settle down and usually goes after someone on a lonely night or just for kicks. When he does fancy someone for a long period of time, he makes sure you know it.
I get a lot of ‘friends with benefits’ kind of vibe from him because he seems to be the friendly type who can get along with pretty much anyone. Since he finds you attractive and a pleasure to be around, you settled for this weird arrangement.
Weeks into this situationship type of bond, he realized he may want more than a casual flirty friendship.
He’s definitely bold too, like BOLD.
Two-Bit wouldn’t be shy or anything when asking you. I think he would straight up say something blunt like “Let’s go on a date. Sound like fun?” And then proceed to list date ideas to you.
HE WOULD TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE FUN!!
I can see him taking you to a car show or something and being able to crack jokes and show off his knowledge on cars to you. He brings the good vibes and fun, so even if the date doesn’t sound too appealing to you, you’re guaranteed to have a good time with him.
At the show, Two-Bit would definitely gasp and fawn over every pretty car and continue on and on about the make, model, and how unique the style of it is. He would make small comments and flirtatious suggestions just to make you smile.
“Like that one? Imagine all the fun dates we could go in that!”
Y’all might flame me for this but I think he loves hugs 😭. By the end of the date he would initiate a semi-long hug and smile smugly while you caved in and hugged him right back.
Also gonna get flamed, but he would call you cute names and things super casually. In the middle of a sentence he’ll refer to you as “baby”, or “darling” even though the two of you aren’t dating.
He’s a sweetheart deep down and yall know it. He would go the extra mile when he genuinely likes somebody. He would act a gentleman and share his interests with you. HE CARES!!
#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders imagine#ponyboy headcanons#ponyboy michael curtis#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#dallas winston#dally winston#darrel curtis#darry curtis#soda curtis#sodapop curtis#keith mathews#steve randle#dallas winston headcanons#johnny cade headcanons#outsiders headcanons#headcanons#the outsiders headcanons#sodapop curtis headcanons#two bit matthews#steve randle headcanons#the outsiders darry#johnny headcanons#headcanon#the outsiders fandom#the outsiders x reader#the outsiders x you#the outsiders x y/n
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Maybe some optimus, metroplex, or tfp ratchet pretty please🙏 I have no special reason bc you always make sure we're fed regularly I'm just addicted to them💅 *looping around your legs like a cat and you're holding the treat bag*
Also I am floored over some(all tbh) of the other characters recent chapters and just how many different paths all these stories are on and how well they all flow like do you somehow have extra storage space in your brain??? Where can I get the update installed for myself😂how the hell are you sorting all these bc you may pump them out fast but thats still like a lot of things to track😅 plz tell me you have a comically large brick of sticky notes you're slowly going through bc otherwise real talk if youre just rawdogging this all by memory plz ignore the request and give your brain a rest🙏we ly but plz make sure to take breaks with lots of snacks and sleep💗
Nah, I just keep track of them in my head. I’m weird like that 😅 I’m doing better now. First day I’ve woken up without a headache in two weeks
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I Can Feel You Pt 11
Metroplex x Reader
• Rasping softly, brows creasing in frustration that he can’t speak. Still. Keeps his head turned toward where you’re sitting on a table with Ratchet’s tools as the medic works to repair the drone’s damaged systems. To give him a voice again. Something pulls, hurts and there’s a burst of staticky noise. “Little one,” he says, not his voice, but his words. And you stand, little fingers fisted in the blanket Ratchet has given you. “I think everything should be back online now, but take it easy. This drone’s been inactive for centuries,” Ratchet says. But he’s not listening, focused on you as he mass shifts the drone to your size, the energy strain slamming through him in drowning pain. Crippling him and severing the connection to the drone. Hearing Ratchet’s frustrated, “What did I just say?”
• Visor dimming, the drone sags. “Metroplex?” Looking from him to Ratchet when the medic vents tiredly. “Is he gone again?” Nodding, the medic slams down a tool a bit rougher than necessary. “Can I sit with him until he comes back? Please,” you add as he frowns at you.
• “Probably not a good idea. Any involuntary movement could hurt you even at that size,” he mutters so you content yourself with sitting on the edge of the table, legs dangling. “We should at least get some answers,” he grumbles. “No matter how much damage we repair, he’s rerouting energy somewhere and staying critically low.” Hesitating as he begins cleaning his tools, he looks at you, expression critical. “Hound told me you’d said the Titan was speaking to you.”
• Face heating at the memory that speaking isn’t all you’d done, you shrug weakly. “He was lonely. I started talking to him first.” Because you’d been lonely, too. Overlooked a lot of the time by the Autobots just because you’re so small, an after thought most of the time. Easily forgotten. But Metroplex had heard you, seen you. Reached out in return. Echoing your loneliness and halving it.
• Again. Frustrated as he retreats deeper into himself, knows he needs to build energy again. Be patient. But the drone is there with you. It’s mass displaced. These are steps forward, not stumbles. He just has to remain on course. You’re waiting for him. You’ll be right there. He needs to believe it, desperate to hold you in his arms even if they’re borrowed. To recharge with your heartbeat against him, to hear your soft voice and to be able to answer. Wants to hear about your day, your dreams, everything. And he’s getting closer to that goal. Closer to you.
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Amusing myself all the way to Pier Park leaving notes
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looking through your eyes + nine
authors note: i know i've said this before, but this one might be my favorite. there are a few subtle hints spread throughout as well.....
i also listened to the song i named the story after while writing most of this chapter, so maybe recommended listening?
if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw: fluff, angst, language, inebriation, character being triggered, references to past csa, and suggestive themes
song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes
masterlist
words: 12k (i can't be stopped, clearly)
And I see a girl Who is learning to trust
---Leann Rimes
In many ways, Roman is a simple man. The kind that believes obvious gestures, actions, or even lack of inaction should speak for itself. That there are some things that are just so clear as day, it doesn’t make sense for him to have to explain himself.
For him to have to repeat himself.
Well, that’s gone out the window as of recent months, because he’s constantly found himself having to do just that. And his day is starting off no different with a surprising and unwanted guest showing up at his office demanding to speak to him.
Bayley stands across his desk with her arms crossed and an almost glare on her face. “I’ve been texting you.”
The fact that she even has his number is an issue in and of itself, but he’ll tackle that another day. “I’m aware.”
The avoiding of said texts is that obvious thing that she seemingly doesn’t understand the why behind.
Bayley nods, very visibly keeping in a comment she’s at least smart enough to not make to the head of the Bloodline. Friend of his wife, or not. “Well, I would like to talk to you.”
Roman rolls his eyes, moving up from his desk to his filing cabinet to swap out expense reports he was trying to review before her rude, unwanted interruption. “I bet you would.”
“Seriously?” Ignoring her once again is the plan, Roman hoping that’s all it takes so that he doesn’t have to lose his temper before he even has his first meeting of the day. “It’s about Solana.”
And that is what finally catches Roman’s attention. He’s quick to turn around, expression suddenly hardened. “Talk.” She has his full attention. “Now.”
Bayley takes note of how easily it is to gather Roman’s attention with the simple mention of Solana. It’s surprising to say the least and telling as hell to say the most, but she keeps this little observation to herself.
“We’re having a Cinco De Mayo celebration at my family’s restaurant tomorrow night.”
“What does that have to do with Solana?”
Roman watches her hesitate for a second. “I want to invite her.”
For a split second, Bayley thinks she may have hit a stroke of luck when Roman doesn’t immediately shoot down her request. He seems to actually be thinking about it. And then he asks the question she knew would be the nail in the coffin. “Will Escobar be there?”
She’d like to just say no, as it’s highly unlikely he will attend, Bayley unsure if her cousin is even in the country. But, lying to the man before her has never turned out well for anyone, so she answers as honestly as she can. “I don’t know. You know he pops up at random times—”
Roman doesn’t even need to hear the rest. “My answer is no.”
She can’t be too surprised. Bayley wisely anticipated getting Roman to budge would be damn near impossible, if not entirely impossible.
“Roman—”
“Why the fuck would I allow her to be anywhere around that son of a bitch?”
To be fair, Roman’s relationship with Santos Escobar is tamer than most. They’re not allies, certainly not friends, and he doesn’t hate the man. It irritates him a bit how Escobar is a stubborn bastard and refuses to pledge loyalty and allegiance to the Bloodline, but that anger is eased by the fact that Escobar gives an even bigger middle finger to the Nightmare Factory.
His loyalty is to himself and the Legado Del Fantasma. That makes him a wildcard and potentially dangerous.
Roman won’t have Solana anywhere where danger could be present.
“You know as well as I do that while both you and my cousin have this weird ass Qué en es más macho thing going on, there’s all but a ceasefire. You've never attacked one of his men the same way he’s never attacked anyone in the Bloodline. That’s not going to change overnight just because your wife is present at a chorcha.”
Roman isn’t too full of himself to admit when someone has made a valid point, but as this involves Solana, the standards are a bit different. He won’t give Bayley that much. “Why should I even take the chance? You want to do something with Solana, take her somewhere else that’s on Bloodline or neutral territory.”
“My family’s restaurant is on neutral territory.” Bayley is happy to have another point of his she can counter. “And contrary to what the average, ignorant American thinks, Cinco De Mayo is an important part of our culture and our heritage, Solana’s heritage. I think she would really enjoy herself, that it would….that it would help her feel close to her mom.”
Roman is excellent in the way he remains absolutely unreadable even at Bayley’s point that has him seriously reconsidering his prior answer.
He has no doubt that would help her feel connected with her mom, being around reminders and in a space that’s so representative of half of who she is, who her mother was. He can’t see her not enjoying herself, which is something that doesn’t seem to happen a lot in her life thus far.
Just as he continues to mull over the options, Bayley adds on another defense. “I get where you’re coming from with the safety angle, but I’ll be there and Naomi will be there. Between the two of us, no one will touch her.”
Roman easily reads between the lines and identifies her unspoken request. “You don’t want Solo there.”
On one hand, he can understand it. Bayley not wanting his Enforcer there. Solo’s presence could be seen as him potentially scoping versus the real reason of serving as Solana’s personal guard.
Bayley doesn’t seem to be backing down, reminding with all the confidence in the world of her capabilities. “Like I said, Naomi and I got this.”
Roman will give her that. Bayley and Naomi could fight on his team any day. They’re just as brutal as the men, if not more when pushed. He knows they’d be able to keep Solana safe if need be. It’s that realization as well as the concern of depriving her of something that could make her happy that brings him to a revised answer.
“Fine, she can go.” Roman is quick to add on as an ominous warning, borderline threat, “but if anything fucking happens to her while she’s with you—”
“It won’t,” Bayley vows. “She’s our friend, and she’s family to Naomi. We look out for each other.”
Roman believes that. Believes that Bayley has seemingly pledged a loyalty to Solana that matches that of Naomi, and while he’d never fucking tell her this, he’s grateful she has someone like Bayley to talk to.
At his fill of socialization with people he doesn’t like, Roman is quick with the dismissal. “If you don’t have anything else to discuss with me about Solana, you can get the hell out of my office.”
Bayley is actually surprised she made it this long without being kicked out, so it’s under her breath she mutters, “a true gentleman.” She’s halfway to his door when manners get the best of her. “Hey, Roman.”
He’s back at his desk, gaze as irritated as when she first stepped in. “What?”
With a nod of respect and appreciation, she simply says, “thank you.” Whatever his response, or lack thereof, is after that is unknown because Bayley is out the door and on her way to invite Solana to what is sure to be a night of fun.
________
“Man, I tell you every dish Solana makes seems to get better and better.” Jimmy is rubbing his stomach as he places the now cleaned plate on the coffee table. “Where she been at all our lives?”
Once upon a time, Roman had a nice, quiet house that was his and his alone. Now though, it’s shared with a wife who really isn’t an issue, two obnoxious cousins who need to start paying rent at this point, and a dog who’s currently at the sliding door leading to the backyard having a one-sided bark off with a squirrel.
“Why are ya’ll always fucking over here?” Roman’s question is said with all the irritation manifesting in his muscular body. At the same time, he stands up from the sofa to retrieve the puppy he doesn’t feel like yelling at to shut up.
She might piss herself in fear or something.
“Come on,” he grunts, leaning over and taking up Dulce who is almost instantly quiet. “Making all that damn noise for nothing.”
Roman places Dulce in her bed in the living room and returns to his previous seat on the sofa when she hops up and walks her ass right over to lean up on the sofa to stare at him with her unspoken request.
Jimmy is the first to notice this. “I think lil Nacho Libre likes you, Uce.”
Jey chimes in between bites of whatever Solana’s latest dish is that she’s made for them. “She know English yet or Soso still got her only speaking Spanish?”
“Man, the dog can’t speak.”
“You know what I mean, motherfucker. Damn.”
Roman ignores the two imbeciles currently freeloading in his house and relents to just letting Dulce on the sofa. He’s not sure why she’s downstairs with them instead off on the second level where the girls are getting ready, but she’s already here now, so no sense in transporting her.
Dulce seems satisfied with her placement right next to him.
“I still can’t believe we weren’t invited.”
“I can get why they didn’t invite us, but they could have at least given Nicki an invite.”
Jimmy is quick with the obvious answer. “You know Nicki don’t fuck with Naomi like that, or Bayley, and definitely not Soso.”
“Cause she’s fucking psychotic.” Roman has zero issues with his cousin’s wife having little to no interest in getting to know Solana. It’s for the better. As he said, the bitch is psychotic.
“Once again, Big Dog, you ain’t gon keep disrespecting my wife like that.”
Roman is as unfazed by Jey’s threat as Dulce is.
“I gotta agree with Uce on that one. Nicki ass crazy as hell. One minute she love you, the next minute she pulling a Left Eye and burning your shit.” That emits a chuckle from him. His cousin's sneaker collection being burned in the backyard that one year was pretty funny.
“Look, that was during a rough patch. That’s all.”
“Damn bruh, ya’ll must got a whole goddamn quilt then, cause your relationship been nothing but rough patches since we was in high school.”
“So what, you and Naomi never have no issues, huh?” Jey lives up to his hotheaded reputation, jumping into defensive mode. “Ya’ll just got the perfect marriage, right?”
“Of course we got issues, man, but never to the point where she turned into a lil arsonist!”
Completely disinterested in hearing dumb and dumber argue, Roman grabs his phone and shoots out a text.
Roman: You almost ready?
Solana’s reply comes in less than five minutes later.
Solana: Just about…..is Dulce by you?
Roman: Yeah. Sleeping….as always.
Solana: Lol….sorry about that, I meant to grab her before we got started.
Roman: It’s fine.
Roman: I need to talk to you before you leave.
He’s not surprised by the longer time it takes for her to reply. He can imagine she’s reading too much into his text.
Solana: Okay....I can come now?
Solana: I just have to put my shoes on….
Roman: I’ll come to you.
Roman knows better than to ask the bumbling idiots to watch Dulce. Their attention span when they get this heated is almost non-existent, so he opts to just take her upstairs with him, figuring he can deposit her in her bed in Solana’s room and that’ll be it for the night.
One down.
Two more to get rid of.
Roman is standing outside of Solana’s door ready to knock when it’s ripped open, and he’s met with an instantly smiling Naomi.
She’s smiling at the damn dog, of course.
“There you are, Dulce.” Roman has no issue whatsoever with letting her take the puppy, talking to it in that weird ass baby voice everyone seems to use around Dulce. He doesn’t get it, but it’s not something he desires to try to get anyway. Naomi calls out over her shoulder, “I’m gonna take her out to pee.”
Bayley shouts from inside the room, “I’ll come with you.”
Roman also has zero issues with that as well. He wants to be alone with Solana before she heads out.
Naomi is heading to the steps when Bayley walks past him, throwing out a rushed, “tell her she looks nice.”
That’s a given, but he gives her a nod, easily stepping in and closing the door behind him. He looks around the room, eyes settling on the connected bathroom where the door is suddenly swung open.
“Guys, are you sure I should wear—” Solana stops when she sees that Bayley and Naomi are no longer present, just him. “Oh, sorry, I thought—never mind.”
Roman would call her out on her apologies, both in the text and just now, but his attention is on something entirely different.
Solana is fucking stunning.
Her dress is orange, thin sleeved and hugs her in a way that makes his jaw clench and dick stiffen. It’s more low cut in the front than he knows she’s probably comfortable with, but if anything, it accentuates just how fucking nice her chest is. There’s a slight split on the side of said dress that shows off her thighs, thick and soft to the touch, he’d imagine. She also has her hair down, something he hasn’t seen in some time, makeup that covers the scar, and lips painted in a teasing red.
Roman has to catch himself because for a brief second, he’s tempted to completely change his mind. She looks too good to leave the house, especially without him present because there’s not a single doubt in his mind that she’ll turn heads.
She always does.
Finally, he’s able to get words to leave his mouth that aren’t as filthy as the thoughts he’s trying to keep locked in the back of his mind. “Jesus, you look amazing.”
Roman has noticed an increasingly difficult time in restraining himself around Solana, not in the sense where he’d completely ignore her trauma and try to touch her in a way that would trigger her. Never that. More so in the way he fantasizes about her in that way, dreams of having her in that way, solely because of his growing physical attraction.
Granted, it’s always been there.
Anyone could see her beauty even in how she would dress down and try to hide her figure, but now that Naomi and Bayley have been encouraging her to be less conservative in her appearance, it’s increased that difficulty exponentially.
“Thank you.” The makeup on Solana’s cheeks helps to mask her growing blush at Roman’s unabashed compliment. She suddenly looks down, nervously running her hand down the dress. “Is it….is it too much?”
Not at all. He might not want anyone else looking at her, but Roman could see her dress like this everyday and never grow tired. Still, his approval isn’t needed nor should she ever look for it. “Do you think it is?”
“I always think it’s too much.” It’s an honest answer, one that’s followed up with a caveat he’s surprised but pleased to hear. “But….but, I do like it.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
Solana’s smile does something to him. She looks even more beautiful when she’s smiling. “Look….” Roman steps closer to her, trying to ignore her perfume, sweet and soft, a dangerous combination that matches her perfectly. “You need anything tonight, you call or text me, alright?”
She nods and asks. “What about Solo? Isn’t—isn’t that his job?”
It’s not a conscious in as much it is a unconscious thing when he steps even closer to her, moving his hand to the small of her back. Roman gently tugs her toward him, and to his surprise, she doesn’t tense under his touch. “You’re my wife, Solana. My job is always to protect you. He just guards you when I can’t.”
She looks like she’s trying to memorize this piece of information, storing it for future use as necessary knowledge. “Do—do you want to come with us?” Solana’s hand resting on his chest is as surprising as her question. “I could talk to Bayley.”
Roman has never been a social person. To say he hates most people isn’t necessarily an exaggeration. So, the thought of being around a bunch of people he doesn’t know or like outside of Solana and maybe Bayley—she’s not entirely awful—is not appealing as well. That doesn’t stop him, however, from considering the question at hand.
He’s tempted to ask her if she wants him to come, because Roman can find it in himself to withstand socialization for a couple hours.
He’ll do it for her.
But, there’s another part of him, a larger part of him that thinks she needs to do this on her own. That she needs to establish a life and something for herself that doesn’t include him. It’ll be good for her.
“No.” Is his final answer, delivered much gentler than if she was literally anyone else. Roman reaches and plays with a piece of her hair. “Not my scene. Too many people.” Not to mention that his presence would draw too much attention, potentially not good attention. He won’t do that to her. Won’t’ risk ruining her night. “Go. Have a good time.” Again, for good measure, he reminds, “but I mean it. Something is wrong. You call me.”
She nods, and he readies to remind her of his need for words when she answers, “okay.” She then adds on, “I already gave Dulce dinner, so she should mostly sleep, but if you could take her outside every so often….”
“I got it.” He’d much rather sacrifice the couple minutes it takes to bring her outside than risk her shitting or pissing somewhere in his house. Granted, he has to give credit where credit is due. She’s doing great with her potty training. Solana takes great care of her, but that’s not surprising. It’s obvious how much she loves the puppy. “You should be back by midnight, though.”
It’s more a strong suggestion than a demand. Solana is a grown woman. He’s not going to dictate what she does and doesn’t do. She’s had enough of that in her life. He had to give his approval for her to go with Bayley because of safety issues, but this, he wants to leave up to her as long as she understands the later she’s out, the riskier things can get.
After a certain time, only bad or not so great things can happen.
“Of course.” She seems to understand this clearly, but he’d also bet that’s her preference to be back earlier than later. Solana grabs her purse and walks towards the door, having to pass him in the process. Roman catches her, arm around her waist.
She looks up, curious, and he makes note of how she again doesn’t tense under his touch. That’s happening less and less, it seems.
He likes that.
“Text me when you get there.”
She smiles, and Roman suddenly feels a layer of his irritation with his cousins melt away. “I will.” Solana gives him one more glance before walking out the room.
Roman scratches his beard, a part of him wondering if he made the right decision to let her go alone. Granted, he knows he would have never even initially agreed if he didn’t trust Bayley and Naomi’s abilities.
They’d defend Solana as ruthlessly and violently as any of his best men.
That helps to chip away some of his second guessing along with the fact that this is something she clearly wants, and he wants to give her that. Give her anything he can that makes her happy.
She deserves that much.
Granted, that temporary peace is short-lived with the shout from one of his cousins who are apparently still present.
“Ayo, Big Dog, did you change the WiFi password again!”
________
Roman needs a new house.
Maybe have Solana let him know what she likes as far as interior designing goes and have something built with an impenetrable wall around it.
That seems to be the only thing that will keep his annoying ass twin cousins from being at his place so much.
Roman just knew that when the ladies left, they’d leave too. But no, that’s too good to be true, because they’ve been gone almost an hour, and their asses are still here.
Even Dulce is sleeping peacefully like the unemployed bum that she is in her bed kept in the living room.
And as always with them, they’ve been talking damn near the whole hour. One would think Roman straight up ignoring them as he works on his laptop would be a clear sign they need to go the hell home, but that would be too much like right.
He either needs an Excedrin or for his cousins to leave, the latter being preferred most. It’s especially needed when they seem to be watching whatever dumb ass Tok or Reel video over and over again.
“Wait. I know that song,” Jey announces, face scrunched up as he tries to recall the name. All Roman knows is that it’s in Spanish and repetitive as hell on top of being played on repeat. Annoying as hell too. “That lil freak from Miami I used to mess with used to have this shit playing at her crib all the time.”
Jimmy sucks his teeth, asking. “What happened to her?”
“Man, she moved.” Jey shrugs. “She went to go be a freak in Cali.”
Finally, Roman snaps. “Would ya’ll use some damn headphones or something?”
Jimmy is the first to speak. “You might want to watch this, Uce.”
“I don’t care.”
Jey slaps Jimmy on the arm, knowing how to get his cousin’s attention. “Yeah, why would he want to see a video of Solana?”
At that, Roman lifts his gaze.
Jimmy smirks knowingly. “Naomi sent some videos. Check your phone.”
That would explain it. Why Roman was out of the loop. It wasn’t from Solana.
He’d selected a specific text and ringtone notification for her, so he wouldn’t be unnecessarily checking his phone. Hence why he hasn’t checked it since she text that they’d made it to the restaurant.
Opening up the thread that has himself, Naomi, and the twins, he sees the set of messages and videos.
Naomi: Having a blast! Solana especially. I kinda feel like the odd one out cause clearly I don’t know none of these dances 😩 I kinda got the Bachata one, but Merengue and Punta are killing me.
Naomi: Bay and Solana keep trying to teach me, but it’s not going well lmao
Roman watches them all. Every video shows Solana smiling and laughing as she dances with Bayley and Naomi. One of the videos shows her and Bayley trying to instruct Naomi who seems to be failing miserably at learning what he’d guess are traditional Hispanic dances. There’s even a clip of her trying to help a little girl learn whatever dance they’re doing, and she looks just as patient as he’s seen her with the kids she reads to at the library.
She looks fucking gorgeous and happy.
He likes that for her. After everything she’s been through, she deserves all of the happiness.
But, it’s in watching the last video with the song that he kept hearing on loop from his cousin’s phone that he understands why they have it on repeat.
It’s a different kind of dance Bayley and Solana do together along with other women he doesn’t know or give two fucks about. What he gives a fuck about and focuses in entirely on is the way Solana’s hips and ass move, rhythmically, teasingly, drawing out an uncomfortable tightening in his pants.
Fuck.
Roman does his best to push his erotic thoughts away, still trying to figure out how to balance his sexual desire for Solana with the knowledge of her sexual trauma. It almost feels wrong, to feel and want her in that way when he knows how traumatizing that subject is for her. It doesn’t stop the desire though.
“Damn, I knew it had to move, just not like that.”
“Like water.”
It’s probably a combination of his pent up usual, general and sexual frustration, but the dangerously slow way Roman lifts his head and equally slow way he sets his murderous gaze on his cousins is all they need to see to know they’ve gone too far.
And they know it.
Jimmy is instantly on damage control. “I meant—Bayley—you know, cause she—she’s also thick.”
Jey coughs awkwardly, hitting Jimmy on the arm. “I think, uh, we should—we should head out.” And Roman is just as slowly rising from the sofa when the twins literally almost trip over their feet and make a mad dash for the door.
It takes a couple minutes for him to calm down, and he too suddenly finds himself watching said video, casually commenting to Dulce, “about time they fucking left.”
Dulce barks in agreement.
________
Solana laughs along with Bayley and Naomi as they plop down in their seats after an almost four minute song of full out merengue. All are reaching for their respective drinks as Bayley playfully nudges Solana.
“Aren’t you glad you came?”
Just then, Juanita Escobar walks over, Bayley’s mother who carries the same dimple and friendly disposition. She places her hand on Solana’s back, reminding in Spanish, “you must come back and see us again!”
Solana smiles, agreeing, “I will.” She then looks over at Bayley. “If that’s okay?”
Bayley waves her off. “Are you kidding? With how soft and girly you are, you can come be my replacement any time”
Juanita glares at her youngest, muttering to Solana, “maybe you can rub off on my Bay, hmm? Never wanted to do girl stuff. Always wanted to fight with the boys.”
Bayley chugs back some of her drink. “Hell yeah.”
Solana thinks she’d prefer the fighting too. Maybe then she could have defended herself better. Defended her mom even.
Juanita shakes her head, looking at Solana. “Yes, come again, child. You look so much like someone, but I can’t put my hand on it. I’m sure my husband would know. He knows everyone.”
That doesn't necessarily make Solana want to come back, meeting someone, a man specifically. However, if he’s anything like Bayley or Juanita, maybe…maybe it won’t be so bad.
And maybe…maybe she could ask Roman to come with her. That’d make her feel moderately to significantly better. Safer, even.
Juanita is soon pulled away from the table by a customer at the same moment Solana’s phone rings.
Roman: You good?
Solana: Yes.
She bites down on her lip, contemplating if she should hit send on her message. It feels like a risky thing to say, but it’s also how she feels.
And he’s always telling her to be honest with him.
So she is.
Solana: Kinda wish you would have came.
Her fingers nervously tap against the table as she wait for his reply that ends up coming almost immediately.
Roman: That’s your world. Not mine.
Roman: Do you not feel safe?
Solana: No, not that. I guess…...Nvm.
Roman: Tell me.
Again, more hesitation, and she’s not entirely sure where this desire to be honest and almost vulnerable with him comes from, but she does her best not to push it away, almost welcoming the slight discomfort that comes with sending such a risky text.
Solana: Idk, I feel better when you’re around.
He doesn’t reply after that.
Bayley and Naomi share a knowing expression, having watched Solana quietly for the past few minutes. Naomi ends up being the one to lead the conversation. “So how are things going with Roman?”
The question takes her off guard, Solana trying her best to think just how to handle said question.
Roman no longer confuses her. Not nearly as much as her feelings about him confuse her.
She wasn’t lying. She does feel better when she’s around him. And it’s not even that she feels unsafe currently. It’s just that he makes her feel safe in general. That’s such a foreign concept. One she hasn’t experienced in such a long time.
If ever.
Because the truth of the matter is that while Solana felt an indescribable amount of happiness with her mother, there was never really safety. Not with her father’s wrath always waiting around the corner.
So while this is new and unfamiliar, it’s also nice, and she finds herself enjoying his presence. She likes being around him beyond the safety aspect. The way he talks to and with her, like he genuinely enjoys their conversations. When he meets her for work and asks how her day was or finds her in the house to see how her day was, it makes her feel like he actually cares about what she has to say.
Like he actually cares about her.
It’s such a stark contrast of how she sees him interact with others. Always on edge, it seems.
He’s never made her feel that way though. Maybe at the beginning, but that’s starting to feel less like anything he’s done and more like her own trauma.
Trauma….
That’s also been an interesting experience. For the past few weeks, she’s worked out of The Courage to Heal, reading every page as instructed. And it’s been….an emotional time, to say the least. Definitely tears. A lot of them. Mostly shed in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep or on the bathroom floor as she sits against the tub, reading and writing, Dulce right beside her, offering that unspoken emotional support.
It’s been therapeutic and challenging and awful having to confront her demons but also freeing in a strange sort of way. Especially the poems. The words of other victims who express so eloquently and hauntingly beautifully what she still cannot.
One of the things she’s really latched onto and tries to remind herself of is that there are different kinds of touch. Because of the assault, her brain has naturally associated any kind of touch as dangerous, which isn’t always true. Especially in the past few months.
So, there’s been a conscious and active effort to remind herself when Naomi and Bayley hug her or playfully bump her, that it’s safe. That she’s safe.
Especially….especially with Roman.
Especially with how touch between them has seemed to also increase over the past couple weeks. Or maybe less increase in levels and more in frequency. She’ll find his hand on the small of her back, or him taking her hand in his, and sometimes, if they’re close enough, Solana also finds herself reaching for him, for his hand, her hand on his chest.
It’s all so innocent in presentation but something much deeper for her. A level of comfort she’s developed with him that she never had in any prior relationship.
She likes it.
She likes him.
“Solana.”
Jumping at being pulled from her inner dialogue, Solana remembers the initial question being posed.
She clears her throat, finally answering, “umm….good. It’s—it’s good.”
“He’s not being an ass to you, is he?” She asks, almost protectively. “I mean outside of the natural ass that he always is.”
Immediately, Solana is shaking her head, almost feeling a duty to defend him. “No. No. He–he would never. He’s….always nice to me.”
Bayley nearly spits out her drink. “Nice?” She coughs a bit, also shaking her head. “Are we still talking about Roman here? Roman Reigns? That man has never been nice a day in his life.”
Naomi shrugs. “I mean, she has a point. I don’t think I’ve seen him be cruel to her.”
Cruel….Solana also could never find it in her to use that word to describe Roman’s disposition towards her. Maybe others, but never her.
Bayley sits on Naomi’s point, suddenly sharing to the table, “you know what, now that you mention it, when I went to go ask him if I could invite you tonight, he was ready to bite my head off for bothering him. But, the minute I said it had something to do with you, he was all ears. Like an instant switch.”
Solana is also all ears, slightly intrigued. “Really?” Doubt and insecurity creeps in as she weakly suggests, “he was probably like that with Samantha too.”
At that, Bayley and Naomi laugh aloud, Naomi nearly in tears.
“Now that is funny. Solana, Roman don’t give a fuck about that girl. Not outside of sex.”
Solana must look unconvinced, so Bayley points out, “think about it. She’s been around for years, and it’s not her he took down the aisle, so…..” She then adds, “arranged marriage or not.”
The girls bringing up their points takes Solana back to her run-in with Samantha in the bathroom and Nia’s jaw-dropping information.
An idea appears, and Solana is instantly torn on whether to pursue or pop it. Something tells her it’s a bad idea, that she should take his information to the grave, but there’s also that side that feels like she can trust Bayley and Naomi to keep it between the three of them.
Sitting forward, Solana decides to take a risk. “Can I—can I tell you guys something?” Nervously, she stipulates, “but it has to stay between us.”
They look expectedly worried. “Solana, if it has something to do with your safety—”
“No, no that.” Solana almost feels confident enough to say that she’d go to Roman if that was the case. She trusts that she could talk to him if it was something like that.
“Of course, then.”
“Solana, you can tell us anything.”
And for some reason, she knows this to be true. It’s why she battles against her trepidation to open up. “It’s—ummm. I….I found out that when….when Roman was…..having sex with Samantha, he….” There’s a pause caused by the discomfort of such a discussion, but Solana manages to push through. “He said my name.”
Both Bayley and Naomi wear shocked expressions, the former of the two whispering harshly, “holy shit, what?”
Bayley then asks, “wait, how do you know?”
“Nia told me.” Solana has zero desire to wholly revisit that night in the bathroom with Samantha, so she only provides the important part. “She said that Samantha told her friend, I guess. T something?”
“Tiffy.” Bayley rolls her eyes. “Makes sense. That girl can’t hold water.”
“I don’t get it then. He obviously was imagining it was you and not Samantha, so why go fuck her and not you?”
Naomi’s question makes all the sense, but Solana doesn’t really know how to tackle it. This conversation is already difficult enough for her.
But her face must give it away, Bayley seemingly putting two and two together.
“You two haven’t slept together…..have you?” Solana simply shakes her head, unable to verbally confirm and slightly mortified that it’s reached this level of detail.
Solana is certain they must have a million thoughts floating around their head, starting with the how and why. That part…..that part she doesn’t know if she is ready to discuss.
An ironic thing considering she’s just started the chapter in her workbook on sharing her story with trusted people.
The irony.
But instead of invasive questions that heighten her anxiety, Naomi places a comforting hand on her arm.
“Look, I’ve known Roman my whole life, and the guy has been a dick the entire time. He would never hurt a woman, I know that, but he’s also never given a fuck about any of them either. So for him to be the way he is with you when you two haven’t even had sex……there’s something there, Solana.”
“I agree,” Bayley cosigns, saying what Solana has struggled to admit even to herself. “I think he really does like you. In his own Roman sort of way.”
Solana can’t deny the fact that it’s getting increasingly difficult to push away that possibility, even if she still can’t understand the why.
Just what has she done to deserve him liking her?
Maybe it’s not like. Maybe he just tolerates her better than he does others for some reason. Whatever it is, she can’t negate the fact that it must mean something if Naomi, who’s known him her whole life, believes that something is there.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Solana just needs to get away. Just for a couple minutes. This conversation took a turn she wasn’t expecting, and she needs to settle her emotions.
Bayley seems cautious. “Want me to come with you?”
“No.” The rejection is paired with a kind smile. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”
And before she can get any pushback, Solana makes her way through the dancing crowd and to the back restroom that she’s grateful to see is vacant. Closing and locking the bathroom door, she goes straight for the mirror.
Despite the unexpected amount of dancing and slight sweat, she still looks relatively the same.
The same….
Same.
Even with the makeup and tight little dress, she’s still the same person. She’ll go home tonight, take off the makeup and remove the dress to find the same damaged, scarred girl who can never have something like what Jimmy and Naomi have.
Even if Roman does like her, it won’t last.
She can’t please him.
She could never make Roman happy, could never truly satisfy him, satisfy his needs.
She’s too broken for that.
It brings tears to her eyes.
Unable to withstand the sight of herself, Solana grabs a couple napkins to blow away her tears, tosses them out and heads out the bathroom. Instead of heading back to the table, Solana makes a beeline for the bar.
She’s only had white wine, but white wine isn’t enough. She recognizes where her emotions are taking her, and it’s nowhere good.
Solana refuses to ruin this night for Bayley and Naomi.
The bartender is a young girl, pretty, early to mid twenties. She asks in a friendly, deeply accented voice, “what can I get you?”
Solana is naive to this, to the great array of alcoholic options that litter the counter before her, so she answers the best way she can. Thinking back to the few events she’d be forced to attend with her father and brother, the drinks she always heard people order before getting drunk.
“Vodka and Gin, p—please.”
________
Meanwhile, Bayley and Naomi sit at the table still partially stuck on this unexpected news. But also not entirely surprising. With how sittish Solana can be at times, they have a good, albeit depressing guess as to why sex hasn’t happened between them.
It does bring up a valid question though.
“Wasn’t the whole marriage for the purposes of giving Roman an heir? How is that—”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Naomi murmurs. “But, I think we both know it’s obvious Solana has some trauma. Touch is clearly hard for her.”
“I know.” Bayley frowns. “I guess I’m just surprised Roman of all people has been so….patient with her.”
“You and me too.” Naomi blows out a breath before again reiterating what she said to Solana. “He must really like her.”
“It’s just hard to tell with him. He’s so damn stoic, but….I think you’re right. I think she likes him too. She’s just…..scared.” Fear is also something Solana deeply struggles with, though Bayley and Naomi both can recognize the progress she’s making towards overcoming those fears.
With a gasp, Naomi grabs her phone, directing Bayley. “Get your phone.”
Bay is confused but follows suit just as Naomi says, “I know who may know.”
Less than a minute later, Bayley’s phone dings with a text notification from a new group she’s in that includes herself, Naomi, Jimmy, and Jey.
Naomi: Sooooo, Bay and I were just talking, and between the four of us, how do you think Roman feels about Solana?
Bayley: And please be honest.
Bayley quickly ensures. “We’re not going to tell them what Solana said, right?”
“Hell no. We could never betray her trust like that.” Bayley is relieved but also not surprised.
Naomi values loyalty just as much as she does.
Jey: Man, I think he really like ole’ girl. Bruh got her a dog, seems to drop whatever he doing when she needs something, and I don’t think I ever heard him say nothing bad about her.
Jimmy: He was definitely annoyed at first when Soso had her lil breakdown at the Warehouse, but that didn’t last long at all.
Bayley: Plus Roman is always annoyed with something or someone.
Naomi: Except her 👀
Jey: Why ya’ll ask?
Naomi: We think Solana really likes him too but is scared to push on it because of her past and just don’t want to encourage her to give it a chance if he’s just gonna hurt her. Ya’ll know how Roman is.
Bayley: A certified ASSHOLE. And a hoe.
Bayley: But, it seems like that’s not the case with her.
Jimmy: I would say he definitely likes her too.
Jey: I mean they are married so….
Naomi: It was arranged. That doesn’t count.
Bayley: Do we know if he’s still fucking around? Primarily with Samantha since she’s been his go-to the past couple years?
Jimmy: I don’t think so. Matter of fact, I guess she said some smart shit to Soso in the bathroom on NoC and Big Dog wasn’t having it.
Jey: He’s apparently planning to pay her a lil visit….with Nia.
Naomi: Oh my god, is he finally gonna let Nia kill her?
Jimmy: Naw, just fuck her up real good, I think.
Naomi: Damn.
Bayley: That’s wild for him to cut her off like that after all this time. Def sounds like he likes Solana to me too…..
Jey: Ya’ll really think he about to admit that shit though?
Naomi: No more than she is. He’s stubborn, and she’s so insecure.
Jimmy: Ya’ll thinking what I’m thinking? 👀
*Jimmy changed the group chat name to Operation RoSo*
Naomi: Bae, what is this damn title?
Jimmy: It’s our latest covert operation. We gotta get Roman and Soso to admit they like each other!
Jey: And just how the hell is we supposed to do that? Like Bay said, Uce is an ass sometimes.
Bayley: All the time unless you’re Solana….
Naomi: I mean, not to be vain, but if you look like Roman, you can kinda get away with being an ass. To some extent.
Bayley: You’re not wrong. He is gorgeous. 😮💨
Jimmy: He alright, I guess. His ears kinda big.
Naomi: Bae, I love you, but let’s not lie. Your cousin is an asshole, yes, but he’s also fine as hell.
Bayley: That’s not the only thing said to be big…..
Naomi: Girl….
Bayley: They can’t all be lying.
Jey: ANYWAYS!
Jey: What if they’re coming together at they own pace and we should just leave shit alone?
Jimmy: 😐
Jimmy: That’s about the dumbest fucking thing I done heard all day. What next you gon say, huh? That they just magically gon fall in love on their own too? No! They clearly need our help!
Naomi: Maybe less help and more a shove in the right direction?
Bayley: A gentle push!
Naomi: Yes!
Jey: All I know is if shit backfires, I’m not taking the heat for none of ya’ll asses. Ya’ll gon have to deal with Big Dog.
Jimmy: Then we’ll just put Solana in front of us. He can’t hurt us then!
Jimmy: See…..I’m smart with this shit. That’s why Imma be the brains of this operation.
________
“What do you mean she’s drunk?”
Roman’s night suddenly went from uneventful and quiet, his preference, to unexpected and infuriating, all with a walk from upstairs to downstairs where he finds Solana awkwardly standing in the living room. Bayley and Naomi wait at the bottom of the steps with nervous expressions.
Good.
They should be scared shitless, because one glance at Solana, the gloss over her eyes, and he can tell she’s all but wasted.
“You were supposed to be watching her.” Roman is fucking irritated. He knew it was a bad idea to leave these two in charge of Solana.
Bayley, however, seems unbothered by his anger. “She’s not a child, Roman. Were we supposed to stop her from drinking too? We had no idea she asked for something stronger.”
It’s an excuse, and Roman doesn’t do excuses. “What happened?”
Naomi answers this time around. “We don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” One. They’re lying, and Roman hates liars. Two. They’re lying, and Roman has literally killed people for less. Three. They’re lying, and he wants to know why. “You’ve both got less than a minute to give me the truth—”
“Look, we talked about some things, and we promised to keep it between the three of us, so I’m not telling you what exactly it was, but I can tell you she’s not in danger.” Bayley is smart. She must know that he’d literally torture the information out of her if it had anything to do with Solana’s safety.
“It was just…some stuff about her past. I think it may have been too much, and she decided to get drunk to not think about it.” Naomi’s suggestion makes sense and pans out, but Roman can’t stop thinking about just what she shared with them.
Was it the rape? But why? He remembers her terror in the locker room that day, the fear and pain in her eyes and voice as she pleaded with him to not make her talk about it. It doesn’t make sense why she would suddenly share it.
Even with how close she seems to them.
“Just leave.”
Roman will deal with them later. Right now, his priority is getting Solana settled.
They seem to know better than to push his patience, asking that he at least keep them updated on how she’s doing in the morning.
He neither agrees or disagrees. It’ll heavily depend on how fucked up Solana is.
Once they’re gone, Roman walks into the living room to find her laid on the sofa, eyes glazed over from her drunkenness but that same beautiful smile on her just as beautiful face.
“Solana.” She’s so gone that it makes him wonder even more again just how upset she must have been. “I need to get you to bed.”
He needs sleep too, feeling the length and weight of the day starting to take a toll.
She’s protesting almost right away. “I’m not t–tired.”
“Maybe not, but you will be tomorrow.” Roman knows she’s in for one hell of a hangover.
“I don’t—I don’t want to sleep.” She’s almost pouting, brows caved together as she stumbles through more words. Solana suddenly stands up, and he naturally moves closer to her, noticing the almost sway she does onto the floor. “I just—have bad dreams and—and you’re just—just gonna leave once I sleep anyw—way.”
“What do you mean by that?” He asks. Getting answers from a drunk person usually isn’t the best or smartest thing in the world, but something tells Roman that Solana is the type of drunk person who ends up spilling secrets. And he’s certain there’s a lot she’s probably still keeping in.
She then issues an unexpected accusation. “You—you’re—you’re gonna go be with Samantha—that’s who you want.”
Roman finds her question slightly ironic considering he’s been letting Samantha think she got away with whatever disrespectful shit she said to Solana on the Night of Champions. He’s letting her think she’s safe and waiting for the right moment to set her ass straight, Nia tagging along to deliver the physical message he can’t.
“Af–after all.” Solana continues, surprising him with her openness that’s most definitely fueled by her inebriation. “Why—why would you want me?” She points to herself, voice taking on a softer, vulnerable tone. “Why—why would anyone want me?”
He’s silent for a good minute, sitting on such a heavy question. “Is that really what you think?” It’s asked in a low voice, and he’s not entirely sure if it’s more him thinking aloud or if he genuinely wants to know if that is how she really views herself.
She shakes her head, nodding in a way that further signifies how drunk she is. “It’s like you said, I’m mentally u–unstable.”
For a second, Roman’s confused, but he quickly thinks back to their wedding night, to his hurtful words to her. Words he’d give anything to take back now.
With an almost frown, he acknowledges his fault. “I was wrong to say that to you, Solana. You are not that.” Truthfully, with all she’s been through, even if she was, he couldn’t fault her.
With a family like hers, she never had a fucking chance.
Solana seems almost confused by his apology, taking him back with the next thing that leaves her mouth. “Is it—is it true you—you said my name when you were with S—samantha?”
He definitely wasn’t expecting that, has no idea how she even knows that. Is that what Samantha told her in the bathroom? Why would she? It does nothing to make her look good. Regardless, drunk or not, Roman sticks with his word that he won’t lie to her.
“Yes.”
Even drunk, he can tell how shocked she is by his admission. Shaking her head, she says either to herself or him—he can’t really tell. “I—I don’t get it.” Before he can say anything else, she starts on this train of self-hatred. “She’s pretty and—and—skinny and—she’s not—broken like me.”
That does something to him, Roman moving closer to bring one hand to the small of her back and the other to her face. “You’re not broken, Solana.”
“Yes–yes, I am. You don’t—you don’t know what—what happened to me.” Her bottom lip trembles as she shakes her head, hands on his chest. “I can’t—I can’t do what—what she does—can’t—give you t–that.”
He shifts his hand to the back of her head, forcing her blurry gaze to stay on him. “Baby….” It tears him the fuck up hearing her acknowledge the lingering trauma he’s certain she’ll always carry to some extent, but even more to hear how lowly she really thinks of herself. “I don’t—”
“I can’t—I can’t because—” Her voice cracks, her eyes focused everywhere but him as she almost comes to this heartbreaking realization that her drunkenness briefly helped her escape these thoughts that have now returned. “—b–because they r–raped me, and now I don’t—I don’t know how—how to be with anyone.” She gasps and sniffles, shaking her head. “I should—should have f–fought h-harder—”
“Don’t you ever fucking say that, you hear me?” Roman’s voice somehow contains all the conviction yet gentleness he can muster. Hearing her even think that makes him feel something he can’t fully describe. It’s heavy as fuck though. “You were a child, Solana. It wasn’t your fault.”
“You were a kid.” He has to say it again, because that’s the hardest part in all of this, knowing how young she was. “You should have been protected, and you weren’t, and I’m going to make sure every son of a bitch involved in what happened to you pays for that shit. I promise you that. The same way that I promise with my life, I’ll never let anyone ever hurt you again.”
She’s clearly taken back by his words, by his vow. “I don’t—I don’t—understand w–why? Why—why would you do that?”
Roman isn’t sure he has an answer for that specifically, but he does have something else he can provide her, a small part of him knowing, hoping maybe, there’s very little from tonight she remembers come tomorrow morning.
“Because someone needs to protect you.” Roman swallows, adding before he even realizes what he’s saying. “Because I don’t want Samantha.” He brushes his thumb over her cheek, intentionally wiping her tears. “I want you.”
And suddenly, it’s so much easier to say it aloud, to voice to her what he still doesn’t entirely understand, why he feels drawn to her in ways he doesn’t understand. There’s a connection almost, a connection of mutual loss that’s formed some sort of bridge Roman is unsure just when he started crossing
She looks more stunned at his admission than anything else he’s ever said to her. Still, she seems to try to discredit him. “But—but she—”
“She’s not you.” His voice unintentionally softens. “No one’s like you.”
Selfishly, he hopes she doesn’t remember much or any of this conversation, less painful for her, more time for him to figure out what it is about this woman that he feels so deeply drawn to.
Again, she tries to downplay her worth. “I can’t—I can’t—give you what you need.”
And somehow he knows exactly what she means. What she’s referring to.
“I don’t need that from you.” Truth be told, he doesn’t want to need anything from her. Needing anything in general has never been his thing. He just knows that, for some reason, he wants her around.
He likes having her around him.
She’s blinking again and places her hand against her head, sharing, “my h–head hurts.” It’s not an intentional deflection, he’s certain, but it’s appreciated.
This is a much deeper conversation than he anticipated having tonight.
“You need to get to bed. The sooner you can start sleeping this off, the better.” He eyes her skeptically, asking, “can you walk?”
He should have already known the answer, because the minute she tries to pull away from him to walk, she sways almost immediately, Roman going right back to holding her. “Come here.” He expects her to tense up as he moves to lift her up bridal style, but she doesn’t. She just continues to look confused, clearly overwhelmed with all of her emotions.
Roman doesn’t say anything as he carries her up the stairs and doesn’t think twice about taking her to his room instead of hers.
He needs to monitor her tonight, and that’s easier done with her in his room.
She looks around still confused but doesn’t say anything as Roman lowers her down on the edge of his bed. Naturally, he’s on one knee before her.
“I’m gonna take these off.” He refers to her heels which could largely be a contributing factor for her to inability to walk. She nods, and he quickly unstraps and tosses the heels to the side. “Do you want to change?”
She nods and then adds, “I don’t have—my clothes….”
Roman is at his dresser, pulling out a shirt that he reaches to her. “You can wear this for tonight.”
She accepts it from him, turning to walk to the bathroom, Roman relieved to see the removal of her heels helps her to at least make it without falling.
While she’s changing, he heads back downstairs to get Dulce.
He knows she’s used to sleeping with Solana and will probably throw a fit or spend the night crying if that doesn’t happen, so a small sacrifice is made as he also brings up Dulce’s bed from the living room and places it on the side of his bed.
One night of her sleeping in his room won’t kill him.
It’s then that Solana walks out the bathroom, changed out of her dress and her face free from the makeup.
“I washed my face….hope that was o–okay.”
“It’s fine, Solana.” Roman is half expecting to have to instruct her to lay down, but she again stays with the theme of surprises tonight and walks over to the bed, pulling back the covers and climbing in.
He’s again ready to explain that he’ll be in the guest room across the hall but will be available if she needs anything. He’ll still be checking in on her occasionally, regardless.
But, before he can explain as such, she asks in the softest, most vulnerable voice, “will you lay with me?”
It’s an extremely unexpected question with an easy answer.
Roman’s answer is to move into the bed with her, half expecting her to freak out in one way or another. This close proximity is so unlike her, a complete contrast to what she’s usually comfortable with.
However, what he doesn’t expect is the way Solana moves her body close against his, pressing herself into his side, arm over his stomach and head on his chest.
In a switching of roles, Roman is the one to initially tense. This is more physical contact than they’ve ever had, and there’s not a doubt in his mind that if not for the alcohol in her system, she’d have a fucking meltdown touching him this much.
But in her drunken, highly intoxicated state, that’s not an issue. She wants to be close to him, wants to be pressed up against him.
She’s looking for comfort.
And truthfully, he wants it too. Roman likes the feel of her next to him, actually uses his other arm to tug her closer, noticing how she adjusts her head on his chest.
Her hand is planted against his chest, and he starts to tell her to rest, to encourage her to sleep this off. But, she once again beats him to it, asking yet another question.
“Why—why are you doing this?”
To be fair, Roman only answers her truthfully because he’s betting on her being so close to the edge of sleep that the chances of her remembering this rare shred of vulnerability are slim to none.
“Because—because I know what it’s like to not have anyone.” There’s a sense of hesitation and discomfort as he verbalizes what he’s never once openly discussed with anyone. “Because I didn’t just lose my mom when I was ten. I lost my entire family. My parents. My aunt. My uncle. And all of my siblings. I—I was the only one who made it out alive that night, and I spent years not knowing why, why I was left alone.”
Roman doesn’t want sympathy, doesn’t want people feeling fucking sorry for him. He never has. But the way Solana lifts her head to look at him is a look of something else, something that likens understanding and compassion.
The latter of which is almost an unfamiliar concept.
“I didn’t—I’m sorry.” She lays her head back against his chest, moving even closer. She then murmurs into him, almost reassuringly, “you don’t—you don’t have to be alone anymore.”
Roman doesn't know what to say to that, so he doesn’t.
He says nothing.
________
Waking up in Roman’s bed wearing only his shirt is the last thing Solana expects along with the fact that the minute her eyes open, she’s hit with instant throbbing of her head.
She winces, confused about so many things as she forces herself to sit up, mind immediately wandering to a single question.
Where is Roman?
Her question is easily answered when she spots the notebook on his nightstand. She reaches for it, squinted eyes reading over his words.
Solana,
I’m sorry I had to leave. I have a meeting with the Elders I, unfortunately, can’t miss. I’ll be back right after.
If not for that, I would have stayed with you.
You most likely won’t remember last night, but you got drunk. Very. You’re gonna wake up with a nasty hangover. Take the Aspirin. It’ll help.
I gave Dulce her breakfast and took her outside. She should be fine.
I also let your job know you’re not coming in today.
Rest.
Roman
There’s so much to process in such a straightforward letter. What did he mean by stay with her? Did—did they sleep in the same bed?
For some reason, that’s not as anxiety inducing as she imagined it would be. She doesn’t know the why or how, but it doesn't bring that heavy weight on her chest.
The drunk part triggers brief memories of the night prior. Bayley and Naomi. The celebration. Dancing. Fun. Happiness.
A switch.
At some point in the night, her mood shifted into something else. Solana remembers asking for a drink, but she doesn’t remember much after that. Glimpses. An almost sympathetic look from Roman. His arms around her. Him holding her.
It makes for a confusing story she doesn’t really have the wherewithal to deal with. She instead reaches over and swallows the Aspirin.
And she goes right back to sleep.
________
Roman finds himself completely bypassing his office, clearing his schedule, and moving his phone’s status to Do Not Disturb.
He’s not in the mood to deal with any of that shit today. At least not for a couple more hours. He needs to make sure Solana is situated first.
Thinking about her resurfaces his earlier level of anger at how the meeting with the Elders ended.
“What of the girl?”
This was the part of the hour meeting that caught his attention the most. Everything else was trivial and, in his opinion, a waste of time. But, it’s when Elder Aleki brings up Solana that Roman’s focus is recentered.
“What about her?”
He’s not stupid. Far from it. Roman knows exactly where this is headed. It was partially expected. What he didn’t expect was the anger that’s already brewing at just how Solana was referred to as ‘the girl.’
Aleki is bold with his questioning, jumping straight to the point. “Is she still not pregnant yet? It’s been almost four months.”
Roman’s jaw clenches, and he finds himself squeezing the armrest of his chair as he does his best to keep his voice somewhat subdued. “I’m aware of how long it’s been.”
Another elder, Sione, decides to join in on this conversation that Roman is about to shut down in less than a minute. “Perhaps she should have another medical evaluation. By one of our doctors—”
“The hell she will.”
Rikishi shoots Roman a warning look, quietly, muttering an equally pleading, “language, Uce.”
Roman straight up ignores him. Rikishi still adheres to those outdated traditions that just because someone has more years on this earth than you that they automatically deserve respect. Fuck that. Roman gives respect when it’s earned, and Aleki and Sione have been on his shit list for years.
He’ll never forgive them for their behavior after the death of his family, their questioning of Roman’s birthright to the throne.
Aleki releases a heavy sigh, and Roman has to restrain himself from not bashing the old man’s head into the table. “All we’re saying is if she is incapable of producing a child to continue the Bloodline, then we have no use for her and should seek to find you a better—”
That’s when Roman has enough. To suggest Solana be examined again. which would no doubt be triggering as fuck for her, is one thing. But, it’s an entirely different thing for them to have the unmitigated gall to suggest he get rid of her.
Over his dead fucking body.
Roman shoots up from the chair. “My wife isn’t going anywhere nor is anyone at this fucking table going to make her do shit.”
Rikishi shoots more than just his subtle warning this time around. “Roman, please—”
Roman’s not trying to hear that shit from him, though. He’s not trying to hear shit from anyone.
“Our marriage is nobody’s fucking business but our own. That includes when she gets pregnant. We’ll share it when we want to.”
Truthfully speaking, this isn’t something Roman has thought much about, an intentional thing. The fact that the marriage was originally and solely arranged so that she could give him an heir is irrelevant to him right now, regardless of what they think.
That’s not a priority.
“You may be the Elders, but I sit at the head of the table.” The Bloodline has always been successful and profitable, but it’s no doubt exceeded any and all records and expectations since Roman became the head. That’s an indisputable fact. “Don’t fucking forget who made this table what it is today.”
The ending of the meeting is still playing in the back of his head like a bad song on repeat. If not for his semi level of respect and acknowledgement of their standing as Elders, he would have put a bullet in their heads the minute that disrespectful shit started leaving their mouths.
In no fucking universe is anyone taking Solana from him. He doesn’t give a flying fuck whatever the original reason was for their marriage. She’s his now, and nothing is changing that.
Roman makes active efforts to calm himself before walking back into the house. After last night, the last thing she needs is to be unintentionally triggered.
He finds her on the sofa, writing in her journal, Dulce right beside her sleeping peacefully without a care in the fucking world. Roman halfway expected her to be out back on the patio, a seemingly favorite spot of hers.
But the sunlight would no doubt exacerbate the remnants of her hangover he’s certain she’s still battling, so it makes sense she’s indoors. It’s when she looks up, noticing his presence that Roman also realizes she’s still only wearing his shirt.
For some strange reason, he likes that. Likes seeing her in his clothes.
“Hey…”
“Hey.” Roman sits on the sofa opposite from her. He takes her in, watching her set her journal to the side and as he notices her hair is pulled up. “How you feeling?”
She shrugs, making a face that suggests some level of discomfort. “My head still kinda hurts, but I guess—that’s to be expected.” He starts to ask her if she’s drunk enough water, recognizing the importance of staying hydrated a night after heavy drinking, but she’s suddenly pleading with him almost. “Please don’t be upset with Bayley and Naomi. It’s not their fault.”
To be fair, he hadn’t thought about them until now. “They were supposed to watch you.”
“They did. I—I got back fine.” She seems almost worried for them, for their safety. He would never actually kill either woman. He’ll just probably never trust them to take Solana out again in life. But no murder would actually happen. Still, it’s the part where Solana says she got back fine that irks him. He does his best to mask that irritation though.
“You weren’t fine last night, Solana.” She was far from it, more emotional than he’s seen her in some time, if ever.
Her shoulders drop, almost in shame. “I don’t—I don’t remember much of it.”
He’s thankful for that. For the both of them. “You were upset.” It’s not a lie nor is it specific. It’s just the truth.
She then asks with almost hesitant curiosity. “W–what did I say?”
Roman shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He doesn’t like being dismissive towards her, doesn’t like being dishonest, something he swore he wouldn’t do. But, she was an emotional wreck last night, and the last thing he wants is for her to go through all of those emotions yet again.
He doesn’t like seeing her upset.
But then she looks at him, studying him almost, a sad, almost tearful chuckle leaving her mouth. He watches as she brings her legs up to her chest and rests her chin against her knees. She asks, volume barely over a whisper, “I told you last night, didn’t I?” Roman realizes it’s less a question and more a heavy realization. “That—that I was raped. Didn’t I?”
It’s a bit of a lose–lose situation. Either he tells her no and risks her feeling bad for sharing something she didn’t have to or he confirms what she already knows and still feels not great.
They’re both shitty options, but he ultimately goes the route of honesty. “Yes.”
“It’s weird. I—” She looks away, eyes shutting for a minute before she unexpectedly explains, “I’ve been—I’ve been working out of this book for people who were…assaulted like me, and I’m–at the part where its recommended I tell at least one person because—because it’s not healthy to keep it to myself.”
Roman knows exactly what book she’s talking about. It was the key that led to him figuring out just what happened to her. That still fucks with him. Still makes him fill with silent rage at her piece of shit family letting that happen to her.
“You’re now the first person I’ve ever told.” Roman hates that even more.. Hates that someone like him is who she ended up breaking her silence with. He wishes it was either Bayley or Naomi. They’re much better at this sort of thing. The feelings thing. “I don’t—I don’t like talking about it.”
“You don’t have to.” He isn’t sure he’d be able to control his anger hearing details, hearing anything about it to be honest, not coming from her. His rage would be intractable.
She nods, almost appreciatively. “That's why sex is—it’s hard for me.” He fully understands that, and a small part of him hates how he tried to initiate that with her on their wedding night. He figured her nerves were because of her naturally anxious personality. Never once did it cross his mind that it was because of something much darker. “And it’s not—it’s not like I don’t think about it sometimes, about being close to someone like that, I do.” This piece does surprise him, but he works hard not to think too much about it right now. He wants to be in this moment with her. “ I—I have. But, every time I try, I just—I get flashbacks, and I can’t.” She ends on an almost whisper, Roman’s stomach tightening as she quickly wipes at a tear.
He doesn’t like seeing her cry.
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Solana.” Not him or anyone else, for that matter.
She doesn’t say anything for a good minute before asking, “what happens now?”
That’s a great fucking question, and he almost has the same towards a lot of things. He’s curious though what she’s specifically referring to. “What do you mean?”
Solana seems almost frightened as she asks, “are you—are you gonna send me back to my father?”
Yeah, he could have never in a million years guessed that. “Why would you ever think I would do that?”
And he suddenly hates asking, hates seeing the way the emotion builds back up. “I’m not—not a virgin, and—” Her eyes close, her grip around her legs tightening. “You….you only married me because—”
“I don’t care about that.” This is his second time today having to face some level of this discussion, but this round is significantly gentler. Roman does his best to illustrate the conviction in his voice while also being mindful of her emotions. “What do you want, Solana?”
He has no idea what she’s going to say, but he does know for a fact he would never send her back to that hellhole. It would be like sending her to her own death.
She seems to really think about his question, think about something he’s certain she’s never had a lot of.
Options.
Finally, after what feels like hours, she answers. “I want to stay here.” Roman’s unsure why he feels a small sense of relief at her answer, like anything other than that would have made him uncomfortable or upset. Solana wets her lips, continuing, “I like—I like living here.” And in an even smaller voice, she adds, “I like being with you.”
He doesn’t say anything, and neither does she. Roman is certain it’s because they’re both trying to process and register what this may mean, what this new piece of information means for them moving forward.
Roman sits forward and motions with his index and middle finger. “Come here.”
He sees it instantly. The initial hesitation, the brief flash of fear, but it’s gone before he can offer reassurance. Solana lowers her legs and walks over to him, Dulce remaining sleeping and unmoving. Not once does Roman remove his gaze from her as he takes her hand, giving a gentle tug to guide her down on the sofa next to him. He slides his arm behind her, holding her body against him, his tattooed forearm across her stomach.
Roman watches the way her eyes close, recognizes that she’s trying to manage her emotions. He sees the little nod she gives herself, as if assuring herself that she’s safe. And he swears he sees her mouth as such.
Mouth the word ‘safe.’
Solana moves her hands to his forearm, as if holding onto him for some sense of comfort.
He does his best to reassure her. “Relax…”And it seems to do something to help her, offering such a simple yet strong form of solace. “I’d never send you back there. Ever.” And that’s a fucking promise. “You’ll stay here. With me.”
“I’m—” Her voice is less emotional than before. It’s still there, but he can tell it's waning with each second that passes, her comfort level growing. “I’m supposed to give you an heir. What if—what if people start—”
“I’ll take care of it.” And he will. He already started with the Elders earlier today, but she doesn’t need to know that.
She angles her head up to look at him. “But—”
Roman brings his hand to her face, gently palming her cheek. “I’ll take care of it.” He moves his thumb over the apple of her cheek and part of her scar. “Alright?”
Solana nods with her acknowledgement but says nothing else as she lays back against him. He notices the absence of tension and discomfort. She’s fully relaxed against him, and Roman acts more out of instinct than anything as he presses lips against her temple for a brief kiss, still mindful of her comfort level. “I’ve got you…”
Everything happening in the past few minutes has been both unexpected and confusing, but there’s nothing confusing about the way Solana suddenly turns her body into him, laying her head on his chest. He watches her eyes close, signifying another layer of fear being peeled back.
He sits there for who knows how long with her, holding her, noticing the slight rise and fall of her body against his, a sign that she’s fallen asleep. He lets her sleep, lets her rest, lets her stay close to him, under him, with him.
Roman thinks back on his question to her about what she wanted. He’s not sure what he would have said if she said she wanted to leave, because the truth of the matter is that Roman’s starting to think that he couldn’t let her go.
That he can’t.
Even if she wanted to leave.
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i'll be loving you for quite some time !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them pretending as if they aren't back together and having just a little bit fun with everyone.
or
for when you know it'll be them till the end. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lando norris x fem!reader
prequel - i bet you think about me ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - hiiii!!!! so sorry for being inactive i have midterms :/// posting rn bc i js couldn't wait!!!! i hope u like this <3 i love u thank u so much for reading <3
tagged @marsdreamworld @luvrrish @ccallistata @eviethetheatrefreak @f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, alex_albon and 689,625 others
yourusername seeing him tonight it's a bad idea right
6,728 comments
username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS
username MOTHER????? HELLO??????
username ahahahahahahahaha hey there!!!!!!
username she's actually so ❤️
username HELLO THE CAPTION WHAT
-> yourusername i js love my daughter oliviarodrigo
-> oliviarodrigo mom 🫶🏼
username the absolute lack of petty posts we've had from lando and y/n..........
-> username no bc WHAT ARE THEY COOKING 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️
username pls get back with lando and put me out of my misery 🙏
username what the fuck is going on
username THE CAPTION??? Y/N WHAT.
username no bc i need them BACK together like asap 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
danielricciardo very bad idea
-> yourusername he's annoying
-> danielricciardo very true
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username ahahahahahahahaha!!!!! what.
username js one chance i will never shade u like lando did
username no bc i need them back together before valentine's bc i CANNOT miss on their posts for each like
-> username "here's to my forever valentine, ur annoying and i'm in love ❤️" IM CRYING
-> username istg i will never get over them ://
username FUCK IT IT'S FINE
*liked by yourusername*
charles_leclerc again, listen to me and don't go
-> alexandrasaintmleux shut up
-> yourusername fr
-> charles_leclerc WHY AM I BEING BULLIED
username all the grid is plotting against lando and im here for every second of it
username may god bless the dinosaur that died in order to create the fossil that was processed to fuel that took the car to bring her mom to the hospital to give birth to her
-> yourusername wow
username if she's seeing lando i will SCREAM
username all jokes aside, if they really REALLY broke up then i hope that everyone leaves them alone bc imagine everyone bringing ur ex (the one whom u dated for such a long time) into everything like if i were her that would RUIN me
-> username fr like i love them both but if they really broke up then i hope people leave them alone
username mother is mothering so hard
maxverstappen1 do you not remember what happened the last time?
-> yourusername it wasn't that bad
-> danielricciardo yes it was
-> charles_leclerc yes it was
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-> carlossainz55 yes it was
-> pierregasly yes it was
-> lewishamilton yes it was
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-> yourusername oh my god
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username earth is weirdly off it's axis since ur break up pls get back with dad ❤️
username no bc lando better be on all fours if he wants her back like nothing less is VALID
username HER.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 796,426 others
landonorris feels like a taylor swift song
8,728 comments
username LANDO NORRIS WHO IS THAT.
username TOO MUCH TO DISSECT THE LYRICS THE PHOTOS
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-> mclaren fix yourself landonorris
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-> username admin is done with his shit
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username babe wake up new y/n and lando lore js dropped ❤️
danielricciardo interesting choice of photos
-> landonorris thank you ☺️
username i will not sleep until i get answers
username we !! need !! answers !!
username genuinely on the edge of my seat fr like WHATTT
username the lyrics speak VOLUMES
username no bc if this is not y/n i will in SHAMBLES
-> username FRRRR LIKE WDYM MY COMFORT COUPLE ARE OVER
username guys i know it was for funsies before but it's getting a bit silly now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
-> username fr like y'all can stop pranking us now thank u.
charles_leclerc i hope she leaves you. AGAIN.
-> landonorris what have i ever done to you.
-> charles_leclerc ate my pasta
-> maxverstappen1 no offense but the day someone eats your pasta, it's the pearly gates for them
-> landonorris facts
-> pierregasly never eat charles' pasta
-> alex_albon it's deadly
-> charles_leclerc STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PASTA
-> charles_leclerc lando i hope she dumps you
-> landonorris you taKE THAT BACK
username LANDO WE NEED ANSWERS
username what the fuck is going is
username nice joke 😐😐😐😐 hard launch NOW.
username no bc that's y/n i don't take any criticism
username where tf are the twitter girlies they need to play detective rn
username lando this is ur last chance at confirming if that's y/n or not or else im hugging a tree at 178 mph
georgerussell63 you don't even listen to taylor swift
-> landonorris i'm a changed man
-> georgerussell63 you're barely a man
-> landonorris BLOCKED
username i live for the grid violating lando at every possible chance
username this has to be illegal they're playing with my blood pressure
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 713,729 others
yourusername date night but it's js me telling u about my succulents and my cats
8,137 comments
username DATE NIGHT
username mom r u done with dad be so honest
username WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDERN (us)
username stay together for the kids ❤️
username SHE'S SO ANGELIC WHATCTHEBFUCK
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alexandrasaintmleux pretty baby 🤍
-> yourusername i love u 🤍
username forever in awe of her likeeee
username im so in love i might stop breathing
username u can talk to me about plants any day of week!!!!!! i'll even bring my plants and they can have a little photosynthetic date!!!!! and u and i a humanistic one
username i am coming for u mclaren
danielricciardo i wasn't aware of you going on a date - lando (PLEASE UNBLOCK ME)
-> yourusername yeah it's js with this loser 💔 (no.)
-> danielricciardo wow and to think i chose your favourite place tonight UNBLOCK ME
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danielricciardo real daniel here please unblock him
-> yourusername lando give daniel his phone back
-> danielricciardo FUCK YOU
-> yourusername this isn't getting u any brownie points
-> danielricciardo I DON'T WANT ANY I WANT YOU BACK
*danielricciardo deleted this comment*
-> username OH I SAW THAT OMG
-> username lando in his redemption era we love to see it
username i love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lilymhe gorgeous 🫶🏼 you can talk my ear off any day
-> yourusername lily i ADORE u <3
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-> username real
username my pronouns are she not her bc i'll never be HER
lewishamilton please unblock him he's about to cry
-> maxverstappen1 tears are welling
-> charles_leclerc he's sniffling
-> carlossainz55 eyes have glossed over
-> oscarpiastri holding them tears at bay right now
-> pierregasly can confirm
-> alex_albon please unblock him
-> georgerussell63 he's genuinely sobbing right now
-> mclaren we can hear the cries
-> yourusername LANDO GIVE EVERYONE THEIR PHONE BACK ISTG
-> scuderiaferrari UNBLOCK ME FIRST
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username genuinely in ruins rn
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francisca.cgomes love 💌
*liked by yourusername*
username im so.
username ???? DATE ????
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, georgerussell63 and 798,528 others
landonorris she's kinda okay
9,728 comments
username WAR IS OVER
username OH MY GOD
username "kinda okay" don't like u weren't in SHAMBLES bc of her
username world is spinning again god bless
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username SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCKKKKK
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charles_leclerc "kinda okay" you cried when she blocked you
-> landonorris OH MY GOD STOP
-> username LMFAOAOAOAO
-> username PLEASE OMG
username im here for every second of this
username YESSSHSHSHSHS
username i just fell to my knees at home depot
username OH MY GOD????????
lewishamilton stop being weepy now x
-> landonorris tell her to stop being mean to me x
-> lewishamilton she said nothing wrong x
-> landonorris SHE CALLED ME A MCDONALD'S CLOWN
-> landonorris x
username THE WAY IM GRINNING RN
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username they got back for ME
lilymhe you break her heart, i'll nail gun yours. got it?
-> landonorris yes ma'am.
-> username lily u will always be famous ❤️
username THEM.
username the biggest sigh of relief js left me
username NAHHH THIS MFS ARE EVIL LIKEE I ALMOST BROKE DOWN BC OF THEM AND THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE JS SEEING EACH OTHER
-> username bitches (affectionate)
username missed my parents ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭
username LET'S FUCKING GO
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-> username oh my man's gonna be motivated
alexandrasaintmleux don't make me pull out the 25272828 messages from u saying how much u love me and those ESSAYS u sent me - y/n
-> landonorris first, DON'T do that
-> landonorris second, why are you using alex no. 2's phone?
-> alexandrasaintmleux first, DON'T tell me what to do
-> alexandrasaintmleux second, i'm blocked???
-> alexandrasaintmleux please don't call me alex no. 2 - alex
-> landonorris first, noted
-> landonorris second, i unblocked you???
-> landonorris sorry alexA force of habit
-> alexandrasaintmleux oh
-> username nah they forced my girl alex to sign off as "alex" on her OWN acc 😭😭😭😭
-> username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS CONVO
-> username the two things i've inferred from above are 1) y/n is not blocked on lando's acc she js chooses to comment from other ppl's phone and refuses to elaborate and 2) lando calls alexandra alex no. 2
-> username this is a WILD place to be
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by kellypiquet, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 799,152 others
yourusername yeah i'll be loving u for quite some time or whatever taylor swift said (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, danielricciardo and 825,826 others
landonorris happier than ever
11,638 comments
username LANDO NORRIS U ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE
username nah not him using the same caption that he used to shade her
-> username it's almost poetic in a way
username I JUST SCREECHED WHAT THE FUCK
username WAR IS OVER 😭😭😭😭😭😭
username the way i collapsed omg
username THE CAPTION HELP??????
username this is life altering
charles_leclerc not a funny caption
-> landonorris have a sense of humour
-> charles_leclerc i have you as a friend and you're a joke so, i do, in fact, have a sense of humour
-> landonorris you're getting reported for that
-> username LMFAOAOAOAO
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username im sooooo here for this
username brb checking if my toaster is waterproof or not
-> username i'll join u!!
username SCREECHING OH MY GOD
username i feel like i've js managed to make two toddlers quit fighting and feel like such a proud parent
-> danielricciardo that's exactly how we feel
-> heidiberger_ so true
-> maxverstappen1 absolutely
-> kellypiquet they were worse than actual kids
-> sebastianvettel they're stubborn
-> scuderiaferrari the amount of times we've had to stop y/n from smashing his car is insane
-> mclaren we had to stay indoors with locked doors scuderiaferrari
-> susie_wolff it was horrible
-> landonorris every single one of you is horrible
-> carmenmmundt fuck u all i hope u step on a lego - y/n
-> landonorris FOR THE LAST TIME YOU'RE NOT BLOCKED yourusername
-> carmenmmundt idc
username life has meaning again
username omg
username THE WEEKND LYRICS OH MY GOD
-> username im folded
username SCREAMING IM SOOOO HAPPY
username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username they're actually so taylor swift coded it's INSANE
username brb gonna cry some more
username i used to PRAY for this
danielricciardo could've chosen a different caption - y/n
-> landonorris IT'S THE THOUGH THAT COUNTS
-> danielricciardo terrible thought
-> landonorris i take it back
-> danielricciardo ❤️
danielricciardo this is sweet
-> landonorris thank you
danielricciardo I LOVE YOU
-> landonorris I LOVE YOU MOREEE
danielricciardo bf
-> landonorris gf
-> username what in the world am i witnessing
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username sleepover on highway !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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danielricciardo nice jacket in the last slide
-> landonorris yeah it'll look even better on your floor
-> danielricciardo mate what the actual fuck
-> landonorris NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
-> landonorris WHERE'S Y/N
-> danielricciardo SHE GAVE ME MY PHONE BACK
-> landonorris OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY
-> heidiberger_ wow
-> yourusername i guess it's js us now heidiberger_
-> heidiberger_ ❤️❤️❤️
-> landonorris NOW YOU CHOOSE TO BE ON YOUR OWN ACCOUNT yourusername???
-> yourusername yes ❤️
-> username this is CRAZY
-> username i genuinely have a whiplash
#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris imagines#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris insta au#lando norris fluff#lando norris au#lando norris blurb#lando norris
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Artificial Paradise ➵NSFW MDNI ˎˊ˗
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➵Pairing: soft dom! fyodor x afab! reader.
➵Summary: fyodor helps you with your studies, but things start to get a bit heated between you two.
➵Tags and word count: 1.8k nsfw, minors dni, fluff, smut, soft dom! fyodor, teasing, explicit language, rough sex, gentle aftercare, light biting, praise, mutual desire.
➵A/N: @charkvc 's request, sorry pookie, i accidentally deleted the ask by mistake (。・-・), but hyg, thank you for the sweet request i'm always down for fedya's big brain.
you sigh in frustration, rubbing your temples as you stare at the dense pages in front of you. how on earth are you supposed to write an entire analysis on hamlet in just one day? the play feels like trying to run a marathon in quicksand, and hamlet’s constant overanalyzing seems to stretch endlessly.
you notice your lover's presence in the room immediately, feeling his slender fingers gently resting on your shoulders. his touch is ever so gentle, soothing even as he begins to knead the tension away.
“fedya, how am i supposed to finish this?” you murmur, glancing back at the daunting stack of papers scattered across the desk.
his lips curve into a soft smirk that you can feel more than see. “you’re overthinking it, my love. hamlet is just like you—burdened by choices, unsure of the right path.” his fingers press into a knot in your shoulder, and you exhale in relief, the stress momentarily forgotten.
“you’re making it sound too easy,” you sigh.
he hums, lowering his lips closer to your ear, his warm breath brushing against your delicate skin. “let’s start with the basics. what does hamlet fear the most?”
“death?” you answer, almost instinctively.
“not quite.” he gently holds your arms from both sides, rubbing them softly. “it’s not death itself he fears… it’s the uncertainty. the unknown.”
you pause, your mind working to decipher his words while he continues to massage you, each touch making your skin tingle.
“he fears what comes after?” you murmur, leaning your head back to look up at him. he looks ethereal in his black half-sleeved turtleneck, his hair tied back in a low, messy ponytail, with a few strands softly framing his face and one resting between his eyebrows. his amethyst eyes, half-lidded, gaze tenderly over you.
he chuckles lightly, his soft tune ringing in your ears. “exactly. now, let’s use that. how does it relate to his indecision? and how does shakespeare weave that into the soliloquy you’re struggling with?”
“well, uh..” you mumble, feeling your mind finally beginning to understand the coded texts, “he’s caught between acting and inaction because… he doesn’t know what’s worse—suffering or the unknown suffering that may follow.”
fyodor smiles softly. “excellent my dear. now, why don’t we dig a little deeper into that?”
his hands move along yours as he leans slightly from behind, hovering over your seated form. slender fingers gently take hold of the pen between your fingers, while his other hand rests on your left shoulder. he guides the pen smoothly, highlighting a few key lines.
“let’s explore how this fear of the unknown impacts his decisions,” he says, “look at how shakespeare contrasts hamlet’s contemplation with his actions. the more hamlet fears the future, the more paralyzed he becomes. we see this tension play out in the soliloquy.”
you nod, trying to follow up with him as he writes 'action' and 'inaction' in a beautiful cursive handwriting. the connection between his fear and his hesitation starts to become clearer, and the analysis begins to take shape.
but as you work, you can't help but find yourself distracted by how close he is. the way his body leans against yours and how his expensive cologne filling your senses. you gaze at him, admiring how effortlessly beautiful he looks. his features seem almost ethereal, and you can’t help but think how perfect a kiss would feel right now, completely forgetting the assignment.
“you’re distracted,” he says suddenly, glancing up and catching your admiring gaze. “focus on the text, my love. we need to get this done before 7 pm tomorrow.”
you try to shake it off, your attention returning to the marked passages, but it’s futile. the way the soft candlelight flickers against his skin, the delicate curve of his lips, the slow rhythm of his breath—it’s too much. your heart flutters every time his fingers brush against yours, guiding the pen, and the assignment feels like a distant memory.
he notices that you’re still not responding to his questions, and his smirk returns, teasing yet knowing. “you’re still distracted,” he murmurs, his voice lower this time, more intimate. his eyes, a deep shade of amethyst, meet yours as he pauses his explanation, leaning in just a fraction closer.
you swallow, pulse quickening, your gaze drifting to his lips. screw the assignment, you think, as the temptation becomes unbearable.
“fedya...” you whisper, the sound barely escaping your lips as your hand moves instinctively to his cheek, pulling him gently toward you.
he doesn’t resist. in fact, his smirk widens, as if he knew all along that this moment was inevitable. his hand slips to the back of your neck, pulling you in as his lips press against yours—soft, warm, intoxicating.
the pen slips from your fingers, forgotten, as your hands tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer. his other hand finds your waist, gripping you firmly. the world feels like it’s spinning, and all you can think is that you never want it to stop.
your hands clutch at his shirt, pulling him closer as if you’re trying to fuse your bodies together. the taste of his lips against yours makes your mind fuzzy. the soft brush of his tongue occasionally meeting yours in a sloppy slow kiss. you feel his fingers tightening around your waist, his other hand cupping your cheek, completely getting devoured by him.
the candlelight flickers casting erratic shadows on the walls, mirroring the rare intimate moment. your focus narrows to the sensation of him—his warmth, his taste, the way he clutches you as if you’re the only anchor in a storm.
he pulls back just slightly, his lips brushing yours as he pants softly, orbs completely dilated with lust. “milaya,” he murmurs, “this isn’t helping with your assignment.”
you laugh breathlessly, “i think… i think we’ve found a new way to procrastinate,”
he grins, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “well, at least you’re not distracted by the texts anymore.”
he smirks before gently closing the gap between you, cupping both sides of your face as he presses his lips against yours again.
with ease, he lifts you and places you on your desk, the papers crumpling beneath you and pens tumbling to the floor. the fact that he rarely gets aroused like this only heightens your arousal.
you both share a series of hot, open-mouthed kisses, tongues exploring and breaths mingling in a heated exchange.
he slips his hands under your shirt, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over your head tossing it aside. he leans down, kissing a trail down to your breasts, humming in delight as he inhales your sweet scent—flowers mixed with a hint of fruity lotion—oh how he adores the way you smell.
his soft, wet kisses continue down your skin as he expertly unclipped your bra with on hand, while the other holds you closer to him, the warmth of your body presses against the cotton fabric of his turtleneck shirt.
you press your hips against his moving in tight circles that elicit deep groans from both of you.
his hand that was holding you tight slides down to tug at your pants, and you eagerly help him get it off of you.
“this needs to come off,” you say with a half-chuckle, gesturing toward his turtleneck.
“giving orders now, milaya?” he replies, a teasing smile on his lips as he lifts the shirt over his head, revealing his pale, perfectly soft sculpted body. unable to resist, you lean in, kissing and licking along his chest and neck, your warm breaths brushing against his skin. soft mewls escape his lips as you explore every inch of him.
taking his time, he slowly removes the rest of your clothes, revealing your bare skin to him. soon, both of you are completely naked, your bodies molded together as you share another heated kiss. the warmth of your skin against his makes him harder every passing second that he thinks he might just cum from just being this close to you.
you feel his hands glide teasingly over your drooling cunt before he chuckles and pulls away slightly. "oh my love, look at you— hardly need my preparation"
before you can utter a word, he swiftly lifts you by your ass, sliding you along the desk and sending the remaining papers cascading to the floor. at this point, you hardly notice. he carries you to your shared bed beside the desk and sits down, pulling you to straddle his lap.
"my lovely darling, are you going to take your pleasure and ride me?" he murmurs against your lips and you whine softly humming in response.
his slender fingers guide your hips to grind against him as soft mewls escape your lips burying your face into the prominent crook of his neck.
you lift your hips to guide his tip into your slick entrance. even though he slips in easily, your walls stretch around him, yearning for the fullness you haven't felt in nearly two months.
sweet sweet soft moans escapes his lips, as your legs tremble trying to hold yourself up, only to sink down more on his cock. he spreads your ass cheeks with both hands helping you slide down on him easier.
you pull your head away from his neck, only to see the blissful sight before you—his eyebrows furrowed, eyes tightly shut, and jaw slack. as you quicken your pace, your moans blend with his soft mewls, and you both glisten with sweat while you bounce up and down on him.
"ngh- moya lyubov, let me hear your sweet voice," he murmurs, "ah- I missed you so much, milaya," his soft moans—oh those lovely soft moans, how he mumbles in his native tongue when he's too spent.
he starts thrusting up into you as you bury your face again but now into his chest, moaning against his skin feeling his cock twitch and pulsate before a sharp groan leaves his mouth.
his thrusts quicken, each one leaving you breathless for a moment before the next one knocks the air from your lungs again, your body rendered completely paralyzed by the picked up pace, his tip brushes against your g-spot repeatedly, sending waves of pleasure through your entire body.
then you feel the familiar heat coiling in the pit of your stomach, your ears growing muffled by the sound of your heartbeat. "fed-yyaa i- i'm coming aahh-"
you can’t help but grind against him, striving to keep pace, feeling him twitch inside you before he shoots thick streams filling you completely, throwing his head back with a deep moan. "bozhe! chert voz'mi da da" (translation: jesus! fuck yes yes)
he collapses back against the sheets, trying to catch his breath. you slide off him and join him, stretching your arms before resting your chin on his chest.
“you look so handsome with your hair in a ponytail like that,” you say, biting your lower lip to stifle a teasing giggle.
“ah, it has grown a little indeed... I’m thinking about trimming it down a bit.”
you lightly hit his hand, exclaiming, “don’t you dare!!!”
he giggles, pulling you closer to place gentle kisses on your hairline. “anything for you, milaya.”
#fyodor smut#fyodor bsd#fyodor x reader smut#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor x y/n#fyodor x you#fyodor x reader#fyodor bungou stray dogs#bsd fyodor dostoevsky#fedya dolokhov#bsd smut#bungou stray dogs#bsd x you#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#bsd x reader smut#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd x female reader#bungou stray dogs smut#bsd#bungou sd#bsd rp community
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Mizu Dating Headcanons
A/N: Im still working through a chapter rn, so have this to feast on while you wait. I’m trying to keep up with writing, drawing, and moving into my new space so I’m sorry if I just kinda go inactive for like a week at some point.
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-100% Super protective over you
-Literally never wants to leave your side
-abandonment issues
-despite never wanting to admit it, she is constantly afraid you’re going to leave her for being a demon.
-You’d have to reassure him a million times before she actually believes you, and even then it's a fear that sticks with her.
-She still lets you be your own person, she’s just extremely cautious for at least the first few months into being together.
-she’d let you do her hair if you asked
-it would take a little bit of convincing first but once you actually started she would relaxing into it almost immediately
-after the first time she would try and discreetly hint at you doing it again
-spicy moments would be common but those or headcanons (And possible stories) for another day
-she flirts through fighting and showing off
-she would constantly show off her skills without actually trying to seem like she's showing off
-she spars with you but she takes it easy on you especially if you have no prior knowledge of how to fight.
-She just likes teasing you
-Has 100% pinned you down and kissed you before, and probably more than once
-If you show interest she would teach you how to use a certain weapon if she knew how
-While she often doesn't do much more than a slight smirk or smile, you can catch her fully smiling usually when she's having fun while fighting or just enjoying herself with you.
-if she catches you wearing literally anything of hers she’ll tease you about it, especially if you didn’t think she saw you
-does not matter how big or tall you may be she is always the big spoon when you guys are sleeping.
-she enjoys having you in her arms more, she feels like you can’t really leave her
-she would never kill someone for such a silly reason as flirting with you, but oh god would she think about it
-the poor girl grew up being fed insecurities for breakfast, there’s no way she wouldn’t be at least a little overbearing without setting boundaries first
-it’s either she’d be overbearing or super detached, there’s literally no in between
-I choose to focus on overbearing more because it’s just more fun too thinking about ❤️
#x reader#mizu my love#mizu my wife#mizu come home the kids miss you#mizufics#mizubrainrot#bes mizu#mizu x reader#mizu#mizu bes#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu headcanons#headcanon#headcanons#probably ooc#blue eye samurai x reader#it’s 2am#i’m too tired for this
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how it feels having a fourth/eighth/twelfth house mercury, earth or water mercury, moon-mercury, water moons, earth moons, scorpio placements (especially moon and rising), mercury-saturn, 2h or 3h connected to 4h/8h/12h, south node-mercury
gonna start explaining my little random posts!
fourth house is the least visible house in the chart due to this house being associated with midnight/complete darkness/the void, which is why it also gets the association of inactivity or resting (we tend to sleep at night). these people may hold back from letting their thoughts be shown
eighth house is the house of inactivity, so similarly to the fourth house placement ... combined with the fact that the eighth house is invisible to the asc ... these people may be a bit quieter or at least selective / controlling over how they speak. and again, basically same reasons for the twelfth
earth and water being "feminine" shows receiving rather than giving energy. thoughts are more often internalized. similarly for moon-mercury. i think lunarians can be quite chatty but it depends too much on the environment. moon is still elusive - even when the moon is visible, half of it is in eternal darkness. so even when lunarians do speak, they not giving alllll the info ... there's still mystery.
and the moon does rejoice in the third ! so there's some sort of association between the moon and communication / socializing. the moon is the mind - some people put their minds on their sleeves, others ? not so much
scorpio is obvious, that's secrecy. but scorpio moons in particular because of that lunarian thing i was talking about except the moon is in fall ... scorpio moons are secretive as hell. i also specify scorpio risings due to the third house in capricorn (shows restriction on communication)
mercury & saturn is similar to that: restriction on communication
2h or 3h connected to the 4/8/12 ... similar reasons. 2h is vocal chords and 3h is lungs/words, connection to these houses can show inactivity, reluctance, privateness, and secrecy
south node decreases so someone with south node influencing their mercury tends to also be on the quieter side !
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