#I made myself watch a httyd clip to get that last one

[darlingfella]

There are two wolves inside of me ✨

(He/They)

[tenebrius-excellium]

I was looking for the Sandbuster/Deathsong amber scene on Youtube, and watched several RttE clips. And gosh. That hurt. RttE is beautiful. RttE is so well made, and I am telling you that I have honestly not seen anything decent made since the end of the Httyd era. The Httyd franchise is such a good story, and I miss it dearly. Douxie from Wizards was a short glimpse, a quick and sudden spark of something that could have become amazing. But he was gone as fast as he had popped up, and nothing since has been lasting or worthwile. 

I feel spoiled, and privileged to have had 10 years of the best story in the entire world to myself. I admit that I don’t know who I am without it. I want to be part of it. I want to be an animated figure in that world; I want the world to function and abide by the laws of the Barbaric Archipelago. Httyd made life so much easier. It was a clear compass of love that helped navigate so many of my decisions.

I constantly think about Hicctrid’s conversation in Httyd3 about how “everything is going to be a lot harder now”. But then, if it wasn’t true, why did the Httydverse ring such a unique bell within me, making me believe that this is the kind of love the world wants? Httyd made me feel so loved. There must have been some truth to it. It remains the ideal I need to see in the world, even though so much has changed and I feel like a mess since the third movie. I feel very vulnerable. 

I want the kind of stability the Httydverse had. Where you make your own adventures, are guaranteed to win if you just try hard enough, and where luck is on your side. Idk, sickness in the Httydverse for example is mostly self-inflicted/ avoidable. There’s poison, losing limbs due to dragon bites or accidents, and there are sharp blades. There are clear culprits. But there is no inexplicable cancer, or arthritis or sudden shortsightedness or dementia; y’know, stuff that you didn’t do anything to deserve yet still can’t prevent from happening to you. Httyd assumes that you decide the level of danger connected to your fate yourself. There’s more control. Astrid’s unexpected blindness in Blindsided is the one event that broke this in-universe law and tbh I would have liked to explore her dealing with that a bit more. Cuz where’s the hope in staying blind?

Anyway, just thoughts. The Httyd movieverse manages to give a lot of hope and I’ve been missing that. However, like I just explained, it conveniently happens to exclude some of the more dire turns of life that are exactly the downward vortexes stealing mankind’s hope. Anyone can get over Httyd’s problems since they have to do with your own actions and decisions, like, your mindset. However, there are those injustices in real life that prevail and that continue to rob hope because they cannot be fought against by a single person. And as soon as Httyd arrived at those problems in the third movie, it ended. Dayum. 

Just stuff that I’m thinking about.

[sage-nebula]

7, 8, 11, and 12?

7.) Have/Want any tattoos?

I currently have two. On the back of my right shoulder I have the Gerudo mark, and on the back of my left shoulder I have “Bad Wolf” in circular Gallifreyan. I kind of wish I didn’t have that one since I’m not as into Doctor Who anymore, but I still stand by what it means (that “you don’t just give up, you don’t just let things happen; you make a stand, you say no; you have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away”), and it does still look cool, so I don’t mind as much.

I do want more, though. I want to embellish the Gerudo symbol one to include the whole Triforce, as well as the Sheikan Eye of Truth and the Master Sword. The Gerudo symbol would end up in the Triforce of Power; the Sheikan Eye of Truth would go in the Triforce of Wisdom; and the Master Sword will go in the Triforce of Courage. I’m also thinking about having Din’s, Nayru’s, and Farore’s symbols drawn around the Triforce, but we’ll see.

I also plan to get the moon symbol from The Dragon Prince, drawn against a dark, starry sky, to represent the fact that I am naturally nocturnal and draw power from the moon, and that I should embrace and accept this part of myself rather than resenting and feeling embarrassed by it. I also want to get a nice arcanine tattoo at some point, as well as perhaps a cool charizard tattoo, but I don’t have those ones planned out as much.

All that said, tattoos are expensive (and rightfully so, given that someone is inking something permanently onto someone else’s body, so you want to make sure they’re paid well so it looks right), so it’ll be a while before all these plans come into fruition, haha.

8.) Have/Want any piercings?

My ears are pierced, and have been since I was a child. Even when I went years and years without wearing earrings, those piercings never closed. I don’t have any other piercings and I’m not really planning on getting any others, though I’m considering piercing the cartilage of my ear, as well as along the lobe. That said, I’ve got some clip-on earrings for those parts of my ears coming in the mail, so we’ll see how well those work (i.e., if they hurt too much to wear for long then I might as well suck it up and get the piercings lol, but if not then this can save me money and pain).

11.) Top 3 songs?

GOD, this is honestly the hardest question. I like so many songs and have such a broad taste in music that it’s incredibly hard for me to ever pick just one, or three, or even ten. But if I had to pick three that have had staying power with me for a long time . . .

“Canta Per Me” --- Ange Noir: This song is actually originally by Kajiura Yuki, but I prefer this cover by the band Ange Noir because of the percussion used in it. I’ve loved this song for years and listen to it all the way through (usually singing along) whenever it comes up on my iPod, never tiring of it. It’s so good, fam.

“Bring Me to Life” --- Evanescence: I don’t care how much mockery this earns me, because the honest truth is this: If it’s a version of “Bring Me to Life”, I’m going to like it. This has been true for every single of this song that Evanescence has released: The original Not For Your Ears version, the most well-known Fallen version, and the newest Synthesis version. If it’s “Bring Me to Life”, then I not only rock out to it, but because I know what the song is about, I find meaning in and really love the lyrics, too. This song has stayed with me since I was about thirteen. I don’t think it’s going anywhere any time soon.

“Ichirin no Hana” --- HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR: This is a song I’ve adored since high school, and even though I went a few years without listening to it, when I rediscovered it I was able to sing every single lyric on point. (I even sang it at karaoke when I went to Japan last summer!) This is the song that got me into HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR, which was my favorite band for a while, and it still goes just as hard now as it did back then. Mmm, I love this song. 

Those songs mentioned, three songs that I’m really into right now are . . .

“Come As You Are” --- Nirvana: I’ll be honest: I used to dislike Nirvana on principle because they’re my older sister’s favorite band, and she and I have had a tumultuous relationship to say the least, and on top of that when I was younger I could never tell what Kurt was saying, which turned me off them as well. But I heard this song in Captain Marvel, and now that I’m older I really like the way it sounds. It’s a good song.

“Are You Happy Now?” --- Michelle Branch: I rediscovered this song recently, and I’m really happy I did, because I honestly forgot how hard this song went, and I spent too many years not enjoying it as much as I should have.

“Imperfection” --- Evanescence: I was not really a fan of either The Open Door or the self-titled Evanescence album, and so I thought I would only ever be a fan of their older work. But this new track from Synthesis? This track kicks ass. If they keep making music after this, I hope they continue with this new style. I really like it.

And top three four songs from my favorite band, 10 Years:

“Picture Perfect (In Your Eyes)”

“Seasons to Cycles”

“Running in Place”

“Phantoms”

I always have to put 10 Years in their own category, or else they dominate everything, haha.

12.) Top 3 movies?

And this one is hard for the opposite reason, haha. I don’t watch many movies. But if I had to pick . . .

How to Train Your Dragon 1 + 2: The first two HTTYD movies honestly tie as my favorite movie of all time because I can’t choose between them. I love them both equally, for different reasons. And I’m so glad that these were the only two made, and that an “ending” to the “trilogy” was never made that completely destroyed the messages of the movies that came before it. It’s really good that these movies exist as a perfect duology. I love them so much.

Mulan: For years I’ve been torn over what my favorite Disney movie is, because there are quite a few I love a lot, but I think I have to give it to Mulan, given that Mulan is the Disney movie I’ve seen so many times I can practically recite the entire script by heart, it never gets old, and I often turn it on when I need something comforting to watch that I don’t have to pay strict attention to. It probably helps that Mulan is the Disney hero(ine) most like me (honestly, we’re so alike it’s uncanny), but I just really love everything about this movie.

Spider-Man: Homecoming: And now for my favorite MCU movie. To be honest, Captain Marvel came close to unseating Spider-Man: Homecoming, but instead it just unseated Thor: Ragnarok to take spot #2, lol. Spider-Man: Homecoming is fun, heartwarming, and heartbreaking all in one movie. I love everything about Tom Holland’s performance as Peter Parker, the twists they put on the Spider-Man mythos, and especially Peter’s relationship with Tony Stark. This is the movie that made me say, “I love Spider-Man.” And while I do love Peter Parker, I specifically love this Peter Parker. I’ve never loved a version of Peter like I do this one. He’s my fave Spidey, hands down.