#I made myself so late finishing work to make this aaa

[casdeans-pie]

There he is

What flavour is he???

--------

He's not perfect but I seriously tried sooo hard. I don't even attempt realism with an actual pencil, why did I think Yeah let's put Cas's profile on a coffee using milk foam! ??? What was I thinking??

........ hey wait don't drink him !

[guppybibi]

Late WIP Wednesday ..

(aaa km not sure if i should finish this, it started off strong but just fell off and now my brain isnt working)

Simon’s home & marriage was his refuge, until it wasn't. He knew something wasn't right when you were coincidentally prepared for his return, all dolled up when you greeted him with an “I miss you” kiss. No, he was sure it wasn't you when he saw that the dinner table was prepared with a generous spread of food on it.

There was no reason for you to come this prepared, everytime he comes home from deployment is a surprise. So..how exactly are you this ready? It didn't sit right with him, the whole thing felt like it came out of a painfully obvious scripted reality TV show.

But food was food and after countless weeks spent eating barely edible MRE’s, a home cooked meal was all he needed. Sluggishly, he sat down at his unsaid designated spot at the dinner table. He closely watched if you would sit down at your designated spot, if you didn't; that’d explained a lot. You do end up sitting at your spot, it wasn't all that hard to do though. Dinner with you was unsettling to say the least, all of the small talk you were making felt forced, it’s barely been an hour and he already feels like he's going crazy.

He knows more than to question you upfront though, having gone through enough interrogations to know that he should take his time and that you could get hostile if things don't go your way. You could be a threat for all he knew, and it's better to be safe than sorry. Unsure if it was the right decision, he starts out some sort of small talk himself, asking you some seemingly innocent questions.

“What were yer up to while I was gone, luv?” He asks mid chew. “Oh not much, I just picked up a new hobby actually. Clay sculpting! I've been watching online tutorials, I could say I’ve been getting the hang of it if I do say so myself.” Liar, was all he could think while he subconsciously nodded to your words. You hated clay, not fond of the texture it had and the way it’d get stuck under your nails. Perhaps it was another one of your impulsive decisions, jumping into conclusions should be the last thing he should be doing. It could cost him more harm than good, so he lets it slide. For now at least.

“Sculpting eh? That's new, have ye finished any?” He pauses, swallowing his food. “I’d love to see them.” A spark lights up in your eyes, but it didn't look right. There's a lit candle in there but it's far, far away. The lack of life in your eyes makes his stomach spin like there's a guinea pig rolling around in their wheel in there, it made him want to puke. He wasn't the biggest fan of prolonged eye contact anyway, so he’ll just avoid looking you in the eye to prevent making a mess. “Oh yeah I actually do! They're already displayed on top of our shelves, I’ll show them to you after.” You exclaim, if that was you anyway, which it wasn't.

Dinner passed at an uncomfortably slow pace, Simon swore he could hear each individual tick and tock of the clock, the scraping of utensils against the porcelain plates and each chew you took. He’s gone through debatably louder things than this, the booms of the explosions were unforgettable after all but this somehow takes the cake. Wanting to distract himself further, he helps with washing the dishes which you normally did but you specifically chose today to help do the other minor chores. Water, that was your weak point. He noticed it, you didn't drink water after dinner either. What kind of monster doesn't drink water to hydrate after eating roasted pork?

To test out this thought of his, he decided to ask another question. “I'm heading to the shower, luv. Care to join me?” Meekly, he suggests to you, deep brown eyes staring intently as he awaited the already expected answer. “Oh I..actually already showered earlier dear. Maybe next time.” A dishearteningly dismissive reply, just like he expected. “Alright, suit yourself luv. I'll be back.”

He thought about it, almost forgetting about the bubbly soap running down his body from how deep in thought he was. There was no doubt about it anymore, everything about you being you, pointed away. At this point, he didn't care what the fake you was anymore, rather where you actually were. You could've been dead for all he knew, replaced by the soulless woman that now roams around his home.

This was beyond cruel, beyond the pain physical torture could've caused. It was like the universe was a cat and he was a yarn ball, being played by it meticulously. The whole thing was definitely planned out by a certain someone he knew, the both of you are fairly private so it couldn't have been a random person. He couldn't handle this alone, as much as he’d hate to admit, the situation was way bigger than him to do alone. So, he decides to call a trusted someone.

“You tellin’ me ye think your wife got abducted or something..and a doppelgänger replaced her?” A gruff voice questions, lightly tapping his cigar against the side of the ashtray. Price, him and Kate are the only members of the Task Force so far that Simon allowed you to meet. Well, it unfortunately looks like the sergeants won't get to meet you under these circumstances just yet. Strangely enough, the clocks inside the pub weren't working. Must be a malfunction. The masked man nodded, sighing through his nose when he got a whiff of the alcohol-filled air in the bar.

“I feel so.” He grumbled. “Couldn't she be just having an off day? We all have those, Simon.” John opposes it, it was an unquestionable possibility they couldn't simply ignore. “No, I know my wife. In my years of being with her, she's never acted this way.” Ghost hissed back, a hint of crystal clear impatience seeping out from his words. The lack of respect in his tone wasn't intended, but what could he do when his wife is apparently kidnapped and replaced so seamlessly? “I guess you have a point, but you need to confirm it Simon. You shouldn't make any decision on impulse, if the woman in your home really isn't your wife then this is a bigger issue.”

Then the plan was set, still a little all over the place but there really wasn't any time to lose. Simon would further observe the woman who's allegedly ‘you’ to make sure he isn't making things up, then if he was incredibly sure it wasn't you, he’ll head to the police and file a report for a missing person. In all honesty, it wasn't hard to do, having gone through missions more intense than this. Yet the fact that you were involved made the bugs inside of him crawl, this was totally his fault.

He didn't hide you away from the world enough, he should've just kept you locked inside a cage like the little birdie you were to avoid any danger coming your way. Simon wasn't stupid though, that was inhumane, you were one of the only few people who has managed to make Simon feel less of a ghost and more of a human. So doing such a thing to you was unethical and out of the books, but how could you blame him for subconsciously letting his possessiveness and worry take over when you're literally so far from his grasp? Being so near before that he could easily grip at the back of your top, now so far that the trace of your scent is long gone.

It makes Simon feel sick, his core being left to rot. He comes from the pub to what felt like an empty house, not home because nothing would feel like home without you there. He’d rather be living in a pile of rocks and plywood with you than in a giant mansion without you, that would be the real hell. “Bloody hell..where are you?” He murmurs under his breath, stressedly rubbing his creased forehead. If he could, he’d pry at every surface that comes up within his sight just to find you.

“I’m back.” He whispers, unsure if the fake you was asleep or not. Anyone, human or not wouldn't be happy being woken up from their slumber. “Welcome home, hun. You alright?” Looking up from your cup of tea, you ask. “Yeah, just spoke with the Captain. That's all, no alcohol.” Simon was so used to you being a worrywart about his alcohol intake, telling you that he didn't have any alcohol is practically ingrained into the wrinkles of his brain. But the woman in front of him didn't seem to care less about his health, let alone him in general. The lack of nagging that usually filled his ears to the brim didn't feel right, he would've much rather gone through another one of your yap sessions about how constant alcohol intake affects him in the long run than..just silence.

He feels the desperation inching up on him, eating him whole. At this point, he's willing to admit he doesn't want you. He needs you. He needs to hear your fretful complaints about him getting deployed, knowing you’d shut up because you were used to it by now. He needs you to tell him to include more vegetables in his diet because he's not some kind of carnivore to be eating that much meat. God, he just needs you with him. Whatever bloody thing came with you he’d take like it was on a stupid Black Friday sale.

“Not yet..” He’d think every single night, eyes wide open as he prevents himself from making a rash decision. The woman sleeping soundly right next to him, if that was you..But it wasn't, even if he stared at the unfamiliar woman for ten hours straight, she wouldn't just magically turn into you. Well sure, she was a carbon copy of you from head to toe but she simply just didn't scream ‘you’. Whatever and whoever you were anyway.

“When all is said and done, I think it'll end well Simon. My gut feeling tells me so, it's rarely ever wrong so I’m pretty sure we should trust it.” You ramble on and on, the little amount of alcohol taking over your lightweight self. Simon was still courting you here, yet he remembers it like it's been replayed in his mind like a broken record. He trusted your gut, and he could consider that as one of the best choices he's ever made in life.

But..trusting you now? While you're probably out, all shivering & teeth clattering from the immense cold night? Impossible, he’s fully aware that you're a capable strong woman however..how far can his trust go? How far do you have to venture into someone’s soul to gain their fragile trust, something that can be easily broken with your own bare hands? Ghost doesn't trust you, but Simon does.

“You're a strong gal, you can hold on for much longer.” He supposes, deep in thought while he flipped around in bed. The fake you hasn't set off any red flags yet, acting normal. Too normal. He knew ‘you’ had a purpose for being here, one with malicious intent, though what exactly? One wouldn't simply come in here and replace his wife with a fake one just out of spite, unless they were a little cuckoo. Tossing aside to check the time, he presses the ‘on’ button on his phone. Weird, the time didn't show up. Maybe it's just a glitch in the system.

“Simon, Hey? Simon, wake up. Hurry, you need to get up.” A voice shakes, lightly nudging him in order to awake him. It's your voice, he can instantly sense its meekness. With one eye and another, they flutter open, still full of sleep in them. “Oh thank goodness, you're awake! But you seriously need to wake up, like right now.” You crooned, hoping he’d fully wake up to the sound of your voice. Groaning, Simon sat up, a few joints popping in the process. “What..? Yeah, I’m awake luv. Whad’ya need me for?” He questions groggily, eyes opening further once he gets a closer look at you. It's actually you, he can tell! The way your eyes meet his, connecting like a bee landing on a precious flower. The way your voice lilted to him like a mother bird nursing her hatchlings, it really was you.

“Wait–luv? You're here? Bloody hell, you actually are–Did you see the other gal who looked just like you? Tell me I’m not losing my shit please.” Then you shushed him, convinced he’ll continuously go on and on if you didn't. “Please listen to me closely, Simon.” You pause, noticing how his eyes bask in yours like it was long overdue. “You need to wake up, hurry.”

[fandoomrants]

Bruuuuh, just finished ep 8 of aaa, can't wait to watch ep 9... In 3-4 hours after work 😭😭

All I wanna say, I excuse all of Agatha's war crimes. She never did anything wrong, hands down.

ANYWAY, QUICK SPOILER-Y THOUGHTS ABOUT E8 UNDER THE CUT:

I just... Love how everyone was like: Teen is Billy! Rio is Death! Billy/Teen/William made the Road same way Wanda put Westview under a spell.

And for all of these I was like "Oh, yeah. Makes sense. Anyway, I don't believe until I see.... 🙃🙃

Also. Confession time: I didn't think Jen's an interesting character, tbh. Only started appreciating her sass in ep 7 and now in ep 8. I'm ashamed of myself. Thoo, I was starting to believe she would really have a bigger role. What was that?

On this trail of thoughts. Jen and Billy/etc discussing Agatha and Rio's relationship? DIED (like Agatha). They really said the stuff people had been saying out here all week.

Idk why I was surprised Rio and Agatha are so toxic.... I KNEW THEY ARE.

But ngl, I really, really felt bad for Agatha. She... She really hated Rio. By the end, I wasn't sure if I wanted to see that kiss... :/

Still happy we got it, thoo.

Despite everything. Rio. The woman creature, you are!

She did love Agatha and wanted her dead so she'd be with her, huh? She was sooo hurt.

Also, again. KNEW IN THE END IT'LL BE A CHOICE BETWEEN BILLY AND AGATHA!

And omggg, I was right! Agatha's never walked on the Road before, lol. Because everyone else was right and it's a scam, it doesn't exist.

Love how she played along, thoo.

Back to what I said about Agatha's war crimes excused??? Yeah, laughed soooo much when I heard she's the one who did this to Jen. Awful but. Come onnnn. Crazy woman. I LOVE HER.

And the whole "idea" of the Road is that you get what you want and... Then you die?! I mean... Sorta poetic.

Ughh. Agatha's ending :/ Saw it coming, still sad. Good ending, though. And well. We got that Aharhario kiss. BUT AT WHAT PRICE!? Rio seemed sad too... Was chasing Agatha around her crazy type of foreplay?

Love how she made her corpse flowers.

Is it bad it was so bitter yet I still ship them? Probably. Now I know I'm not only into milfs but batshit crazy people too.

And Billy's ending??? Honeyyy. EVERYTHING FROM THE ROAD WAS IN YOUR ROOM. YOU DIDN'T FIND IT STRANGE?!

And that laugh in the end?? Whaat??

One last thing before I'm late for work!

KNEW THE ROAD GAVE ME WIZARD OF OZ VIBES WITH THE PATH!

[facet-project]

october devlog!! (two days late, thank you tumblr for glitching out on me on halloween :/)

AAA. OKAY. finished a big thing today since i was like "this update is going to be late Anyway i might as well fix this one issue before i upload"

but before that. did you know i've been working on this project for One Calendar Year??? i feel like it hasn't been very serious until this latest build but maybe that's recency bias talking. anyway cool stuff below the cut

anyway! what i did this month... unfortunately there was a hardware snag in the music production thing, and i've gotten it fixed! which is technically music progress but not in a way that is exciting. so instead i actually went and finished the basic player character movement!

this thing was a MEAN BITCH to code in for like. a lot of reasons. which i won't get into right now unless someone's super curious. but trust me when i say this took so long to actually Get The Way I Wanted

(sorry she's walking on a blank grey background... i don't want to show the testing field Just Yet)

just a little up/down/left/right walk animation for now!! there are still some tweaks i need to do to the animation manager and the controls - of course, i will be doing this Forever And Ever. especially when i start making other things to put on the map. and as i was testing this i realized there were a couple spare pixels out of place (shoutout to the magically growing shirt collar on the walking upwards animation)

(and i'm still trying to figure out if i'm going to make a bespoke running animation or if it's just going to be making the player faster and having things like the ponytail flow farther behind... it doesn't really matter for now that can be a Later Decision)

but also, i made a promise to myself that i wouldn't post about any game characters until they're In the game. and the player character for nightshade mode, which is what i'm building first, is a character... so i might round up some of her concept art and make a post about her sometime this month.

i'm going to stop promising what i'm going to work on Next Month because it always seems like i have to change directions midway through?? maybe that's stage fright since i'm Posting about it. but i do want to finish off some of these player animations and get some other ones in there, like the ones where you're using tools and sitting and such. but also i need to fix a save bug too... we'll see what i actually get to doing this month.

but as far as Next Longterm Goals... it took me about eight months to get from Zero Code to the end of the prototype build... and then after that i've been spending these months kind of organizing what i need to do next

so Next is... doing the same thing i did last year, but with more knowledge and purpose this time.

i'm hoping to get another one-week build of the game done by june, but with all of the game's systems in place and without placeholder text or visual assets. i'm going to measure how feasible that is at the end of the year before making another pact with my brother to hold me accountable for doing that, see if i need to adjust the goalposts, but i think i can do that. (and then after that, it's making all of the content for spring, summer, fall, winter... but for now we're sticking with spring)

[nsuyeula]

Today is finale day for Nancy Drew.

I've attempted to keep myself busy, not let the sadness envelope me at the loss of somthing so precious to me. But at some point you have to stop moving, so I thought I would be sappy here on main cos so many other fans are, and reading everyone's experiences has shown me that I'm not the only person this show has touched so deeply.

I was rather late finding this show. Here in the UK, we don't have the CW network, though to be honest I don't watch a lot of cable anyways. It was simply by chance that a gifset was reblogged onto my dash, one of the morning-after scenes from 3x13. The softness of Nancy and Ace in that scene melted my asexual heart, and then I read the tags and saw it was from a show called Nancy Drew.

The Nancy Drew games were some of my earliest experiences with video games, my aunt for my Birthday and Christmas would buy me games from a site called Big Fish and install them onto my PC, and one of the ones she brought was a Nancy Drew game. Visual Novels, Point and Clicks, and Mystery Games are still a core part of my tastes as a gamer, even as I branched out into more modern, AAA games and the growing indie market.

So I downloaded the show, and watched it while running raids on an MMO - and I was instantly in love. It's difficult for me to find the mental capacity to consume media - particularly anything new - but the story telling, mystery and characters kept me hooked and guessing every episode, and by the time I had finished watching it, I was inspired in a way I had never been before.

At the time, I was working a corporate admin job, one I had been working ever since I had turned 18. I was a collage dropout with no grades, complex mental health issues, and PTSD from abuse, which caused me to lose a good few many years of my life just trying to stablisie. This show came into my life when I was starting to find a footing, and wanted to do more after all those years lost.

I began writing, creating narratives for characters I long had ideas for; fanfics that made me connect with fans; and fanart I used as opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone of drawing.

It made me realise that I was discontent with where I was, and that what I wanted to do was create. I left my job to pursue art. Things didn't go according to plan, but the show was there for me throughout it and I kept writing and drawing even when I was in recovering from almost dying thanks to pancreatitis - 7 fics in 7 days is something I will forever be proud of but will never repeat.

And then I made the decision to apply to Uni, despite my disabilities and having no grades. I applied with a portfolio that featured the fanart and fanvids I made for this show, and I got accepted - now I will be going to learn how to make games, with the aim to make ones like the Nancy Drew games that got me into gaming as a kid.

I found a fandom that I wanted to engage with, even when I was bad at doing so.

I made my own merch because I was sad there was nothing official.

And now, even with this show ending, I will keep going forward with the spark this show ignited within me - and maybe I'll get to tell my own tale with this crew someday, you never know.

Thank you to the cast and crew, and to the fans, for quite literally changing my life

[productsreviewings]

Historically talking, Home windows computer systems have been a staple of gaming for so long as I can keep in mind. I nonetheless have some fond reminiscences of typing away on my dad’s previous Home windows Vista with our very unreliable web connection, taking part in previous flash video games, and generally Starcraft when our dial-up connection really stayed on-line for greater than 10 minutes at a time. Quick ahead to over a decade later, and I nonetheless personally take pleasure in gaming every now and then.  As an grownup who does work and goes to a college, I simply purchased myself a shiny new Macbook final week, and if I’m being trustworthy, it’s my first expertise with it. Now now, earlier than you boo me out of this website, hear me out. It’s a succesful performer, and generally life simply throws you a curveball. I by no means in my life anticipated myself to make use of a Macbook, and that shock extends to my really having fun with it. However this text isn’t about that in any respect.  Should you’re like me, or are a Home windows person planning to leap ship to the Apple camp for no matter purpose, then chances are you'll be questioning and asking your self the burning query that led you to this very article within the first place. Are you able to play League of Legends on a Macbook Professional? Additionally learn: Is MacBook Air Good For Gaming Why Not? As timeless as a cultured MOBA sport League of Legends is, even I need to admit it’s getting up in years. It was round after I was in highschool, and I nonetheless play it to at the present time. So it’s no shock League of Legends runs on virtually something in need of potato lately. However because the saying goes, “simply because you possibly can, doesn’t imply it is best to.” So how does that translate to us Macbook customers? Let me provide the quick reply: fairly nicely, whether or not you’d prefer to consider it or not.  Earlier than we proceed, let’s get one thing out of the best way. There are numerous variations of the Macbook Professional, and we’re going to have to ascertain the present in addition to the earlier lineups, in addition to deal with their hardware and software program limitations.  Something older than the earlier technology of their lineups will nonetheless run it, however could or could not run into some issues, be it software program assist from Apple itself, SSD learn and write errors, storage, and even simply the battery.  Figuring out and these elements will assist us perceive why the Macbook Professional is definitely a good performer – nicely, for a sport of League of Legends, that's – you gained’t be taking part in AAA titles from this yr on this machine, no matter what the value tag implies. The M1 Chip and Rosetta On the time of this writing, Macbook Professionals mainly run on Apple’s proprietary M1 chip, which is identical throughout the board for his or her base fashions of the Macbook Air and Mac Mini (even this yr’s iPad Air 5 runs on the M1 Chip, so is it attainable for us to see some Mac-compatible video games on iPads quickly? Please, Apple).  So why does that matter, you ask? Properly, mainly, Apple ditched Intel chips and mainly made their very own. Now, on the upside, they can optimize each the hardware and software program on their laptops. The draw back?  Properly, apps aren’t actually optimized for Apple’s in-house silicon chips. In truth, on the time of this writing, few apps – together with League of Legends – exterior of the official App Retailer formally assist it.  There are workarounds, although, and fortunately the heavy lifting is finished with Apple’s personal software program. With out being unnecessarily sophisticated, Rosetta 2 is mainly a translator that converts this system mumbo jumbo into Apple’s personal native language, and let me let you know proper now… It really works superbly.  The Macbook Professional has built-in followers, in order that mixed with the ability from the M1 actually delivers an awesome gaming expertise.

It’s so good that at medium settings, the M1 Macbook Professionals ship over 100FPS on common throughout the board, no matter display measurement and RAM configuration. Sure, that features the fashions with 8GB of RAM.  That is much more spectacular while you have in mind that League of Legends is definitely meant for Intel, which implies they're attaining these speeds and stability whereas utilizing a translator, virtually successfully in real-time so far as the end-user is anxious. Additionally learn: Finest Fighters in League of Legends Fast Notice: The Finances Choices Now that we’ve established these M1 Macbook Professionals are positively greater than able to dealing with League of Legends correctly, I simply need to deal with the elephant within the room: the Macbook Air M1 and the Mac Mini M1.  In actuality, the goal demographic for League of Legends who occur to be Apple customers will extra possible be rocking these as an alternative of their pricier older brother. And sure, each run League of Legends virtually as nicely, however the Macbook Air specifically doesn't include a fan. What does this imply? Properly, Macs normally have been by no means meant for gaming, and whereas the M1 is definitely environment friendly for protecting cool to the contact with no fan throughout CPU-intensive duties, the identical can't be stated about video games and GPU-related duties. Sure, it may possibly deal with them nicely, however the lack of a fan will possible trigger thermal throttling (mainly decreasing the efficiency by pressure in an try and decrease the interior temperature) throughout prolonged classes.  That being stated, even essentially the most inexpensive base mannequin of the Macbook Air can run it at 60fps on the very least with excessive to max settings. The Mac Mini, whereas cheaper, doesn't undergo from this downside, and shouldn’t have the aforementioned throttling points. What Concerning the Intel Macbook Professional? Unfurrow your brows, as a result of proper now I’m going to let you know it runs rather well on the Intel-based Macbook Professional. League of Legends was designed for this, and with out Rosetta 2, it ought to run even higher… at the least, on paper.  In actual life, relying on the configuration, you shouldn’t see a lot of a distinction. If triple-A titles and hardcore, story-rich, graphically intensive video games are your factor, chances are you'll need to look elsewhere. Nonetheless, for League of Legends, you shouldn’t run into any issues in any respect. Additionally learn: Finest Counter Junglers Conclusion To sum all of it up: sure, it runs very nicely on the brand new and former technology of Macs throughout the board, which incorporates even the Intel-based Macbook Air, and can run fairly nicely for even older gadgets, relying on the compatibility software-wise. As soon as extra, I've to reiterate that Macs have been by no means meant for gaming.  They're, nonetheless, glorious gadgets for basic functions issues like faculty, work, some processing, or just since you are locked into Apple’s ecosystem. For followers of League of Legends, you possibly can relaxation simple realizing that League of Legends won't simply run on it, however run at respectable speeds.  #Play #League #Legends #Macbook #Professional #LeagueFeed

[lilacslovers]

💎 Lilac x Gordie {Royalty + Royal Guard AU Fic} Chapter One | The Meeting 💎

aaa i’m so happy! i’ve finished a fic of the first meeting of my s/i and gordie in the royalty au <3

yes it does say chapter one but. idk if this a proper series, its possibly a figurative ‘lets start from chapter one !’ its also just. omg it’s just a chapter like. not even a drabble. just a whole chapter HSJSND

but i truly hope you guys enjoy this! :0 (fic is in the keep reading !! ^^)

•••

The dark oak-stained carriage rattled around Lilac with every prance of Rapidash transporting it, the tight space and cool, pillowy seats barely making up for the sheer cold she was moving into.

In her gloved hands lied a handwritten letter from the Royals in Circhester; a neat cursive paragraph requesting her and her other guard apprentices to protect their home. After all, they would need good protection to hide their most precious jewels in the family, and they required the best of the best. In a way, it flattered Lilac to know they wanted her to assist them.

She folded the letter back into her sac tied at her waist, cuddling into her cape in shock from the sudden Circhesterian chill; she wasn’t too far from the castle now, and wished that they could’ve made her Royal Guard uniform more cozy inside. Perhaps they considered this weather late spring or summer temperatures...

Off guard, the shrill of Rapidash’s cry as it finally came to a halt nearly catapulted her into the rock-hard wood in front of her. She gasped in relief to have caught herself in time, straightening herself to correct such unawareness.

A crunch came from the snow as she dropped down from her carriage, a bag with her necessities slinged over her armoured shoulder. Walking to the near entrance, she turned to the coachman.

“Brr, it’s quite cold around here! You better stay safe in that house, Lilac!” he said, smiling cheerfully.

“Thank you, coachman.” she replied, turning next to the Rapidash, stroking its soft mane.

“And thank you, Rapidash.” she grinned at the Pokémon, in which it whinnied gleefully in response.

Walking across the tiled road to Circhester Castle, the snowy bushes brushed up against her, gorgeously grown flowers to withstand the eternal cold peeked their heads out of the fluffy hedges. Already employed guards outside were gossiping to each other about the family; perhaps they were new guards, like herself. Lilac halted, gaining the attention of the two guards at the grand door they stood up against.

Lilac decided to break the tension between them.

“I am incredibly sorry to interrupt. I am Lilac. I am here to sign myself into the occupation of Guard. I have a letter from the castle itself if you were to want it-“

Before her quiet voice were to finish her sentence, the doors loudly creaked open, revealing the Queen herself; the entrance surprised all three of the guards, yet they all retained the same serious face to show their composure. The Queen gave Lilac a stern look...

“Oh!” came the cheery exclamation of the Queen Melony, holding her hand to her face. “Welcome, dear! I suppose you must be the new Indoor Guard, correct?”

“I- um,” Lilac mumbled, clearing her throat to free the words she had before being surprised. “Yes, your Majesty. I have brought your letter. It is an honour to work with you.”

“Come inside!” invited the Queen. “‘Tis warmer in here, after all! I’ll show you to your position here in the castle.”

“Ah, thank you, your Majesty.”

•••

The warmth of the castle quickly defrosted Lilac’s freezing arms, and the sudden relaxation couldn’t help but make her stare in wonder at the details within: the castle walls were extremely high, regal tapestries hung. Across the tapestries came multiple family portraits from popular artists, and looking closely at the painting would reveal details drawn ever so to-the-point, it made Lilac ponder how someone could even make such a realistic piece in a time limit...

“Oh, I must say,” the Queen began to state. “My children can be quite the troublemakers, hoho... My youngest, a daughter and three sons, I believe they sometimes choose whom they like to see more often, more with my sons, I think. But... my oldest...”

She stopped in her tracks, and so did Lilac.

“... Well, he’s heir to the Throne, now. He possibly cannot choose who he works with, hoho!”

“I see, your Majesty.” Lilac lightly smiled to match the emotion of the Queen’s conversation. “I shall wish the Prince congratulations on being first to the Throne.”

“Oh, he would simply love that,” the Queen chortled. “He is quite the sensible man. I do hope he is excited to rule... I’ve had quite the years around here.”

It was hard for Lilac to decipher who this Prince was; after all, the long generations of family portraits across the wall couldn’t help Lilac’s imagination at all.

Queen Melony pointed to a space by a door, where Lilac stationed herself onto.

“Perfect! Your routine will to be to guard at this area, as well as to watch the household members around here if needed.

You will also patrol around here with other guards around 12 to 1 o’clock PM. Is that understood?”

“Yes, your Majesty.” Lilac agreed, straightening herself stoically. The Queen promptly smiled, and as she went out of sight, another guard poked their head out from the corner.

“Psst, hey. New guard.” they squeaked.

Lilac made eye contact with the other new guard.

“Have you seen Prince Gordie yet?”

“Who?”

“Prince Gordie!” another guard peeped. “C’mon, ‘who?’ Like, the Prince that is, like, constantly just... around? And cool?”

“I really don’t mean to be out of the loop, but...” Lilac held her chin to think. “I haven’t heard anything about any Prince Gordie... All I heard back from my town was when the Queen of Circhester came to visit, and when she did, it was never a ‘visit’ visit, only a ‘come to check out the best carriages’ visit.”

“Oh my Arceus, the Prince...!” yet another guard joined the conversation. “He looked shortly at me once. I just... I felt so seen...”

Oh, brother. Lilac looked away, until the commotion of the group caught her attention once again.

“Ah, look, there he comes...!”

A man came from the depths of the hallway, and suddenly it felt like everything was going slower - or perhaps Lilac was imagining things...

The man had his soft hair tied into a well-kept short ponytatail, as well as his soft and cute lapis eyes kept relaxed and sensual.

He walked with such confidence only a prince could ever have, his cape drifting gently across the satin carpets below. A slight jingling sound came from his minimalistic, yet beautiful necklace around his collar, the pendant resting on his chest where his relaxed blouse shaped the area around such jewellery.

His shoes lightly skipped across the satin carpets to not make even one noise, yet his heels made an dull tap that satisfyingly echoed across the area.

Whatever decent vision Lilac had of the Prince completely went from her mind; the Prince of Circhester, in her eyes, was indeed quite more handsome than she thought.

The guards squealed in delight, making all sorts of gestures to make Prince Gordie look over.

“Gordie! Could you please have a quick discussion with us? We need to talk to you about something?”

... And suddenly, all light the Prince had in his eyes disappeared as soon as he looked at them.

“... Gordie?” his deep, muttering voice repeated, his eyebrows furrowed. Lilac could see the optimism drain from the group, herself shivering along with them even if not involved.

“Never, in all my life, have I heard a stranger call me only by my first name. From what I recall, my title here is ‘Prince Gordie of Circhester’. Is that correct?” his angered voice paused for a while to let the guards rapidly nod their heads, truly attempting to not get into trouble.

“Yes. Now, all I want to hear from you few now is to refer to me as ‘Prince Gordie’. If you cannot, then ‘your Highness’, but if you can’t even manage a formal tone with a prince, you shall expect to be evicted from this castle. Is that understood?”

The guards nodded once again, mumbling out a few ‘Understood, Prince Gordie’s out from their held breath.

“Now. Don’t you have some patrolling to do? It is, after all, 12 o’clock. Go.”

The guards scurried away slowly, cowering from the unfortunate interaction.

Lilac, afraid herself of getting into an altercation, began to steadily inch her way around one corner.

“Please wait.” the Prince interrupted in a much normal, albeit naturally deep tone. Lilac hastily straightened her back once again, turned to face him.

“I did not mean you, I apologise for any confusion.” he stated, grinning. “It’s not actually 12, I just wanted them to leave, hehe.”

“My complete mistake, your Highness.” Lilac replied. “That is quite a tactic to make somebody leave, it’s certainly impressive, your Highness.”

“Hm,” Prince Gordie hummed, taking his chin with one hand. “Tell me, what is your name?”

Lilac paused, finding herself quite confounded at his question; oftentimes, asking for a guard’s name would be informal, as was taught in training.

“Ah, um, if you want it, It’s Lilac, your Highness.”

“Lilac, eh?” Prince Gordie grinned to himself. “A fitting, lovely name for a lovely guard.”

Lilac’s heart struck from the compliment, trying not to show any emotion upon her face, but the Prince began to speak again.

“I must go. I have quite a lot of errands to do.” he sighed, flicking his hair away from his vision.

“But, I do hope to see you again... Lilac.”

Prince Gordie gave a wave as he walked back out of the corridor, Lilac waving goodbye at the same time. As soon as he went completely, she faced the brick wall, intensely pondering the peculiar conversation she had had...

Surely...? Surely, he wasn’t trying to get her into trouble...? But, why would he take interest of only getting her name? Perhaps he was... No, absolutely not, Princes don’t form relationships with their servants...!

Unless, Prince Gordie wanted to?

Nevertheless, Lilac herself had duties to do. But, as she began to walk away, she couldn’t help but think as she rested her palm on her blushing cheek...

[knight-queen]

𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐘𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐌𝐮𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐋𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞 – (𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭)

[Chapter O2]  [Chapter O3]  [Chapter O4]  [Final]

Main CG used in this Route -

—

Yui: (I must have to get back my heart….!) 

Place:  山中 / Mountain / Yamanaka

Yui: (I must have to get back my heart….!)

Yuma: From now on, we gotta solve this problem, huh?

Yui: Sorry...Yuma kun.

Yuma: Haa? Why are ya’ saying that? The person called Earl or whatever, it’s all his fault, right!?

Don’t make such a annoyin’ face! C’mmon! La-u-gh?

*Yuma gets closer*

Yui: Ouch...I-it hurts…!

(I think he puts all his strength into stressing my face.)

Yuma: Hee? That face was also good...ha-haha!

Yui: Laughing like this….it’s not fair!

*Yuma backs off*

Yui: (By the way, what should we do from now on)

(I think I saw something in the dream...Maybe I can figure out something if I think about that.)

Yuma: ……..*Sighs*

Yui: (Why is he looking at me putting on such a scary face…?)

Yuma: Making such a stupid face for a while, I am saying that everything’s gonna be fine! HUH?

Yui: You are wrong...It’s not something like that…

Yuma: I am saying it, which means I am correct!

Yuma: Haa...Looks like I have to make you understand it thoroughly….haa!!

*Yuma hugs Yui*

Yui: Kyaa!

(He’s hugging me out of nowhere…!?)

Yuma: Don’t be so dumb. It doesn’t matter where we go so, hold onto me tightly!

Yui: Eh?! Gh! Kyaaaa!!

*They are flying*

*Sound of Wind*

*Screen black / Yui closes her eyes*

Yui: (This feeling...Could it be that we are…!)

*Opens her eyes / screen comes back*

Yui: (Flying…?)

(We’re just going up and up! At this rate, it looks like we will reach the Moon...!)

Yuma: Kuku! Make sure that you hold me tightly!

Yui: You have suddenly started to fly! I was scared, y’know?

Yuma: Even if I wouldn’t fly suddenly, you would be scared to fly anyway.

Yui: That’s true though…

Yuma: So? Can’t you think of anything other than scaring?

Yui: Eh?

Yuma: For example, shooting stars or the lights of the parade venue. What about those?

Yui: Yes, they are beautiful…

(I am seeing colorful lights far below...ah, there is an amusement park over there. That wagon is selling something, I think?)

(That was the parade venue from the earlier, right? It’s very lively and pretty.)

Yuma: No-w, where shall we get started? What ‘bout starting from attractive places all the way through?

Yui: Eh?

Yuma: Ruki said it, right? Earl Walter can be anywhere that we don’t even know.

If that’s so, that we should use our feet for searching without thinking about anything!

I think it’s best to ask people here about this world. There may be other information out there ‘bout being stolen of your heart.

((A quick reminder that Yuma is extremely rude, and I am trying my best to translate in his type language. But he is always RUDE! He is not formal at all))

Yui: (Definitely…)

Yuma: That’s why, let’s play & have fun while collecting the information!!

Ah! That amusement park will be a perfect place! We are gonna’ ride every single one!

Yui: Y-yeah…

(Looks like his main intention is to have fun rather than searching for information.)

(I also want us to have fun together, but…)

Ne~ Yuma Kun.

Yuma: Aah?

Yui: If I don’t get back my heart...I will end up dying, right.

It would also work if I don’t have this body...but that’s…

(It’s difficult to have fun while holding these feelings.)

Yuma: Oi, haven’t you noticed anything. I am not planning to have fun around by throwing out your main problems.

Yui: Eh?

Yuma: Tch! You are very poor at guessing!

I haven’t gotten any other choice but to yield, I guess?

It’s obvious to get depressed at the same time, but even if we don’t have fun, you’re gonn’ be anxious anyway.

That’s why I’m sayin’ that I am gonna make your face unconcerned just like I have!

Yui: (Yuma Kun is...thinking about me.) *Blushing*

(Yet, I was just concerned about me.)

I am really sorry...I wasn’t planning to doubt you or something…

I was just feeling washed away...I didn’t even watch my own words...as a result I ended up being teased by you

Yuma: Exactly.

Yui: (I was so depressed lately. I haven't fixed it. First of all, let’s keep in mind that I have to make myself cheerful.)

(Alright, beware of your smile...)

Yui: Yuma Kun! Can I company you?

Yuma: ….!?...

Yui: Yuma Kun?

Yuma: You, making such a face….damn! Don’t say cute things! *Blushing*

Yui: Eh? Ah…!

*Yuma undresses Yui*

Yui: (He embraced me, he’s digging fangs in my neck….!)

Yuma: Don’t think that I’ll stop if you say ‘sorry.’ Give me a thank you using your feelings. 

If I bite ‘ere, then those vampires won’t bother me.

Yui: (Could it be that, he was planning to fly for this….from the beginning…!)

Yuma: At first, I’ll do it from here….nh…*Licks*

Yui: Don’t…! *Blushing*

Yuma: Your makin’ such a face before I even dig my fangs. Don’t you still have some hope…!! (( He has used 期待 -> means hope or expectation.))

Yui: Please...don’t…!

*Sound of shooting magic*

Yuma: Hm? I have heard somethin’...HAAA!?

Yui: Eh?

(A black object is approaching this way!)

*Another sound*

Yui: (What a speed...we are going to collide!)

Yuma: A meteorite!? Why is coming straight towards us! Tch, as this rate —

*Another sound*

Yui: (We’ll get hit…!)

Yuma: Can y’ easily bum ito us...Aaaa!!

*Yuma aparts from Yui*

Yui: Ah!

(I am separated from Yuma Kun…!?)

Yuma: Yui!!

Yui: Kyaaa!

*Sounds of wind*

Yuma: *Unclear Voice*  Ugh! Extend your hand!

Yui: …!

(Can’t, my hand can’t reach him…!)

Yuma: Guh!...Damn! You’ll…!

Yui: (I will?...Die...I thought it’s gonna be positive with me….but)

*Screen black / closes her eyes*

(I am sorry Yuma Kun)

Yui: …..nh?

(—What...This touch...it is very soft….and sweet smell.)

Yuma: No good, I can’t control this speed!!!

UWAAAAAAA— —!!!!!!??

Yui: Nh!? Yuma kun!

Yuma: Ugh...what’s this...it’s hurting and...ugh…

Oi, can you move?

Yui: It’s… kinda impossible….

Yuma: Haa? What should I do then?

So, where’re we? I’know it's a parade venue, but...I can’t see anything like that.

Yui: You are right….

(It's a very noticeable place…)

Clown D: Haa...I was going to finish up today’s work. Are you guys substituting my candles or what?

Yui: Candles? Umm...what you mean —

Clown D: Oh my, oh my. You guys are festiving too much in the name of parade~

Yuma: Isn't it weird to hear something like this from a clown?

Clown D: It’s not weird~good grief! You are really a hopeless couple. Here, I will help you, gimme your hand.

Yuma: Yea, counting on ya’.

Yui: Thank you so much…

Place: サントノレパーク通り /  Saint Honoré Park Street

Yuma: Ha— we had face somethin’ awful!

Yui: (I am glad that everything was okay, but...)

(No way, it’s more likely to break a giant cake of the parade celebration.)

We are really really sorry.

Clown D: A—….It’s okay, it’s okay! I’d like to say...nope, I give up~

I will make it over again. Even though I’ve made the cake with great efforts, y’know~!

Yuma: Haa? It was you who cooked, huh? You have a great taste!

Clown D: Eh, Really!! Even though it’s not true, that makes me so happy!! But, A—aah~

Yui: (He’s feeling so down. I am sure that he was preparing that taking a long time…)

(A lot of people will be gathering here. If we don’t cooperate, he may not be able to finish making such a big cake….)

Umm…

Clown D: Hm? What is it?

Yui: I don’t know whether you’ll be able to make a gorgeous cake or not, but, we will compensate for you!

Yuma: Haaa—?

Yui: Because, it was all our fault after all. We must have to do something.

Yuma: I’know what you mean... but how can we compensate somethin’ like this?

Yui: That’s—…

(There should be a way…)

...Sorry, I can’t think of it right away.

Yuma: Anyway, my whole body is sticky and sticky for the cream, it’s unpleasant.

Sorry but I'm someone who’ll get tension for this, right?

Since it’s a parade, I am looking like a display object or something like that….Let’s go for the bath right away.

Clown D: Saying this means you’re planning NOT to come back, right~?

Yuma: Well, if I would be the only then I wouldn’t come back. But, if I do so, this good-person won’t forgive me.

Yui: Listen...Of course we will come back! We will absolutely pay back your debt, so please trust us!!

Clown D: Let’s see...— Um...I don’t have faith in this big brother, but I can trust this big sister!

Yuma: Aaa—? Tch!

Yui: Thanks a lot! By the way, would you mind telling us where we can have a shower….?

Clown D: I’ll lead you to a familiar hotel. If you like then, I may give you the tickets!

Yui: Eh, is that okay…?

Yuma: Is that ‘cuz there’s an acquaintance there and you keep an eye on us so that we won’t run away?

Clown D: Listen—…!

Yui: (But that way, we also can proof that we keep our promise, right?)

Yui: I got your point. Of Course we’ll come back. We were really sorry.

Clown D: Well—That wasn’t my intention. First, I will say that, don’t be slow~

Yuma: Got it. Let’s go then.

Yui: Yeah.

Place: ホテル・モーントシュタイン  バスルーム / Bathroom of Mortstein Hotel

*Without dress*

Yui: (Phew….)

(Nevertheless, we completely spoiled the cake…)

(I did something like this in a dream when I was a kid. I think I wasn’t happy at all for doing that...)

(Anyway, it’s Yuma Kun’s turn now)

*Turns off the shower*

*Puts on dresses*

Yui: (Okay, all I have to do is to just fix my fair. Shall I call him out?)

Yuma Kun, thank you for waiting. I am coming out, just a little, okay?

*Yuma opens the door*

Yui: Wah?

Yuma: I’m tired of waiting — Haa! How annoyin’. These clothes’re stuck with me.

gh...ugh...—I still can’t take these off...guh… *trying to take off*

*He takes off his clothes*

Yui: —! Kyaa!

Yuma: Aa? Shut up, why screaming, huh?

Yui: *Blushing* Wa-wait! Let me move backwards!!

Yuma: Why are y’ being damn noisy. Y’can move anywhere so be quiet!

*Yuma turns on the shower*

Yui: Uuh— I wiped my hair perfectly... I must get out…!

Yuma: ...Nh...What the hell is this, such a sticky! ...—Oi!

I can’t remove dirt from my hair, you gotta help me!

Yui: Eeh! But…

Yuma: I wrap a towel ‘cuz you’re such a noise! Hurry up and help!

Yui: (If it’s so...then I may lay him a hand.) *Blushing*

(To tell the truth, he had fallen down in the cake to protect me, right?)

*Turns into CG*

Yuma: —Ah...by the way, wash more gently there, and also the right side…

Yui: *Nod*

(Uu—It’s embarrassing….I must not look at him….)

Yuma: ...—What it could be that was hittin’ us during flyin’ in the sky.

Is that a meteorite?

Yui: May be...A—

Yuma: Uwa—Oi! Are you blind or what? Watch carefully!

Yui: Ah! Sorry!

Yuma: Whatta pain! Are you embarrassed for that! Usually, you used to be more close to me, right!

Just—like this!

*CG turns where Yuma’s sucking*

Yui: Kyaa!!

Yuma: It reminds me that I couldn’t suck during flying...kuku~ I’m gonn’ get it back!

….—Nh…..hn…*sucking*

Yui: Ah…

(His fangs are digged deeper….!)

Yuma: Kuku...Such a good face. Lemme taste it more.

Nh—...ha...nh…

Yui: (No...I am losing my strength���)

Yuma: Like always….your are having a sloppy face….hah….lean on me.

Yui: Ah...—Yuma kun,....I can’t—

(Even though I was done with bathing….I am feeling dizzy.)

Yuma: What now? Do you want me to suck from here? I’ll do it.

Haha, dropping tears...all I see is that you just want me to continue.

Raise your face…

Yui: Uh—…

(If he still continues….I will lose consciousness…)

Yuma: Nh…*Kiss*

Yui: (Lips...he didn’t...bite?...)

nh...Yuma Kun…?

Yuma: I am glad that you didn’t die…

Yui: Eh…?

Yuma: It’s nothing. C’mmon give me more. These blood’re just coming out. I won’t waste it.

Until I am satisfied...I won’t let y’ go...nh...nh...mn..

Yui: (Enough already...at this rate…!)

Stop...we have to go back to the plaza. We promised to Clown San…!

Yuma: Aaa?

Yui: (If he still continues sucking, we can’t keep our promise. I can’t allow something like that...!)

*Yui moved back*

Yuma: Aah? Wait!

Place: ホテル・モーントシュタイン  客室 / Guest Room of Mortstein Hotel

Yui: (I’m sorry for Yuma Kun, but it’s good that I managed to escape somehow. I must go back to that place, as soon as I can!)

Yuma: ….Oi! What’re you actually planning to do somethn’ for that big cake?

Yui: It’s obvious! It was your fault....If you wouldn’t fly then, we won’t have deal with something like this.)

Yuma: Aaa? It was those meteorites’ fault! You were expecting my fangs, didn’t you?

Yui: I didn’t! By the way, let’s go back to that place.

Yuma: Even if you say that. You’ve almost forgotten your most important work.

Yui: Eh?

Yuma: To remake such a big cake, how can you buy such an amount of time?

If you do it, then we may lose your heart!

Yui: Ah…

Yuma: Your face’s telling that you’ve completely forgotten...hah, as I thought, you should just lie ‘bout it.

Yui: *Nod* I can’t. When I imagine people’s sad faces out there, I just can’t do something like that.

(If we escape away, then I am sure that we’ll regret it later. More than that, I don’t want others to be disappointed.)

Yuma: Well, it’s true that I also did something horrible.

Yui: Please Yuma Kun, let’s go there together?

Yuma: It can't be helped. Then hurry up and finish making that cake.

Yui: Really?

Yuma: I can’t hear if you’re sayin’ something. ….That kind of attitude of you still hasn’t washed away, this stubbornness.

Yui: Not really. It’s very normal. 

Yuma: No, you are not normal. Hehe, you easily get swept away by the things that make you feel good.

Yui: —No, you are wrong!

Yuma: Hehe, you are red all the way to the neck.

Yui: (—! There are many things to say, but...it’s good that he accepted my favour.)

Place: サントノレパーク通り / Saint Honoré Park Street

Yui: (There’s a lot of traffic. People walking in the road also disguised themselves to have fun.)

Yuma: Oi...Don’t get lost from me.

Yui: Yes, Ne~ Yuma Kun. Did you remember about the carnival that we visited before?

Yuma: Huh? Very strange situation. It also remembered that. ...However, the situation right now is completely different from that.

Yui: Eh?

Yuma: At that time, it was a problem when those vampires got addicted to your blood, right?

Yui: If it’s so, then it’s completely different now.

(A human like me....no one is noticing me, even if I walk around them...It was a little mystery…)

Yuma: Perhaps….since your heartś replaced with a stone.

Yui: (I see...Earl has replaced my heart with a gem. For this, they are thinking that I am not a human, may be itś the reason for that…)

Ne, did the taste of my blood change?

Yuma: Haa...you’re looking so serious. Are you worrying ´bout it?

Yui: Huh?

Yuma: You said that you won´t feel comfortable like in the past, kukuh! Are you disappointed?

Yui: Itś not something like that…!

Yuma: Aah? It’s a bull’s eye y’know? But, don´t be worried. I don’t care ´bout taste or something like that.

For me, to make you feel better is more important than suking your blood after all, kukuh

Yui: Enough-...!

*Blushing* (Saying something like that...may me that’s a part of his kindness…)

(As I thought, I have to get back the heart as soon as possible.)

*After a while*

Yui: Ah, Clown San!

Clown D: Oh, you two huh~ Good to see that you come back after all~

Yuma: That was obvious. So? Did you make that cake?

Clown D: No way! I am just a clown out here, so I can´t make something like that~

Yui: You made it then?

Clown D: It’s a sweet shop-keeper~!

Yuma: What about getting that guy to make the cake over again?

Yui: Yuma Kun, it’s not fair to say something like this.

Yuma: Aah? But it's impossible to make it for an ordinary person, right?

Yui: That’s true, but…

Clown D: At first, go there and tell that ¨ I am sorry.¨ Spoiling such a huge cake, I can´t say something from my position, yḱnow~

Yui: Okay, we are going to apologize.

Yuma: Letś make it.

Clown D: I don't know whether it goes that easily, but good luck~!

Place: ザフィーア 菓子店 / The fear confectionery shop

Yui: (Waah! The sweets are lined up! How cute…!

(There’s also something called eat-in.)

Yuma: Oi! We haven't come here to eat sweets or something!

Yui: Umm...excuse me. I have heard that hereś the person who had made a giant cake in the plaza.

‘The fear’ store’s manager: Aah! That was my self-confidence work! That was a very splendid cake, right?

Yui: Aah...yes…

(Uuh, itś hard to cut out this topic…)

Yuma: Yup, that was tasty. The sweetness level was perfect.

‘The fear’ store’s manager: Aah, I am so glad to hear that! Come to think of it, who are you? How do you know the taste of that cake?

Yuma: Haa? By eating, ofcourse.

‘The fear’ store’s manager: Eeeeh!!??

Yui: That’s...many things happened and as a result, we broke that cake. We are really sorry!

‘The fear’ store’s manager:  Wawawa - What did you just say!? You broke that cake! That cake was specially made for the parade!

Do-do-do...Do you even know how much materials and time I had to spenk for that!!!! I won´t easily...forgive you!!

Yuma: Shouting like this, itś useless now to get angry for that.

‘The fear’ store’s manager:   What’s up with that attitude! You have broken my masterpiece cake...how terrible...uuuh!!

*The manager collapsed*

The fear confectionary assistant: Manager! Please hold on!!

Yui: Manager!?

The fear confectionary assistant:  Haah...first of all, I will listen to your conversation. Please continue if from the very first.

Place: ザフィーア 菓子店   厨房 / The fear confectionery shop, kitchen 

Yui: (Waah! The smell is very sweet. Thereŕe a lot of designers here! Everyone looks so busy…)

The fear confectionary assistant: Until recently, every members were just focusing on making a huge cake.

fear confectionery assistant: It has such a big size, so itś very didfficult to to arrange the materials, to bake and even to decorate…

This is why...when the cake was done, we were so happy that we held our hands in hands together.

Yui: Is that so...umm...we are really sorry.

Yuma: ….But, the paradeś is still continuing, right? That open place won look good if thereś no cake out there.

The fear confectionary assistant: We are getting so much advertisement from our customers...I want to do something.

Yuma: So, let’s start making the cake. Looks like a lot of workers are here. I am somehow excited.

Yui: Um..we will also help you out since we will pay your debt!

The fear confectionary assistant: Before the manager gives us the permission, I can make sure that we will be able to gather necessary ingredients.

Yuma: Haa? Are y'all gonn´ use rare ingredients or something? 

The fear confectionary assistant: It’s not like that. We are in the middle of the parade, so sugars won´t be available everywhere, and it will be harder to get.

When the sugar of our shop was out of stock, we were about to close the shop…

Yui: That’s…

The fear confectionary assistant: Did you notice that there are so many street halls, itś very unusual. There are so many…

Yuma: Well, I don´t get it well, but there's no other problem if you get the sugars, right?

The fear confectionary assistant: Yes...Flour, eggs and raw cream are still affordable.

Yui: (Sugar...I have no idea how much sugar we should get, but...we can´t give up.

We will manage the sugar but please make that big cake one more time!

Yuma: Haaa….

Yui: Please!

The fear confectionary assistant: Understood...I will pass your words to the manager. I am also requesting you to get the sugar.

Yui: Yes!!

Place: グリンマーストリート  表通り/ Glimmer Street, Main street

Yui: (Even though she told me the amount of sugar I have to get...but I didn’t imagine that they’re gonna need such a huge amount…)

Yuma: *Sighs* … … …

Yui: (He is being irritated for searching. Of Course the necessary amount of sugar is something to be shocked.)

Yuma: You! Y’re a completely stupid! Lastly ending up asking the necessary amount of sugar...what have you done, haa!?

Yui: Anyway, I want us to try out searchi individually  where sugar is available

Yuma: Haa? If we search individually, then the parade is gonn’ be over! Let’s steal those  from somewhere!

Yui: We can’t steal! We have to explain our situation and ask others!

Yuma: Damn! Y’ come up with such a lame idea!

Yui: I am sorry...

Yuma: We gotta finish up dealing with this. So? Where should we get started?

Yui: (Where should I say...)

SELECTION ー

Sugar House (Correct +)

Sugar making factory

Yui: What about Sugar House? Since it’s right over there, I am pretty much sure that there’s a lot of sugar stocked.

Yuma: Hehe, it sounds like a simple step.

But, those are very rare...don’t you think it will be a waste to ask them mashed sugars as they put such an effort?

Yui: You are right...maybe we should try going there...they will probably gonna distribute the unmashed sugars…

Yuma: Well, there may be restricted sugar which’s specially produced for parade.  ‘Kay, let’s go!

Yui: Mhm

Place: グリンマーストリート 表通りワゴン前 / Glimmer Main Street Wagon Street

Yui: (Phew...they didn’t understand our excuses pretty well, but they distributed sugars to us one by one.)

(People of this demon world are unexpectedly nice with me...may be because my heart is now a gem.)

(More importantly, Yuma Kun also helped me out...I also gotta do my best!)

Yuma: What’ are ya’ barging about, Sow? Watching me sweating while pulling the rear car, it’s funny to see, haa?

Yui: Y-you are wrong! I was about to thank you…

Looks like we are about to gather our target amount of sugar. Umm...next up isー

*Something sounds like wheel blusted*

Yui: (Hm? What’s this sound…)

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Aaah, that’s weird. I heard that it will get fixed by hitting, but I am not sure it will end up working or not…

Yui: “Cotton Candy”...I didn’t assume that there are such stores in the parade.

Yuma: This trouble...looks like I’m not the only one who’s experienced it.

Yui: Mhm…

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Oh, customers? I am really sorry for this...I am going to repair it right now.

Yui: Not really...Are you fine with it. We can help if you would like to.

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Oh, really? Thank you!

I heard how to fix it when I got this machine...but it’s making me scared now…

Yuma: Ah….As I thought, I know how to fix that.

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Eh!? Is that so? Can you help me out, brother?

Yuma: Kuku~ Leave it to me ….Haah!! 

*Yuma hitted the Machine*

*A huge sound of being damaged*

Yui: (This sound...could it be…!)

(Oh no...cotton candies just bounced and popped out from there…!)

Yuma: Ugh...Oi! Pick those up before more of those come out!

Yui: On it!

(He got such strength....anyway, let’s pick these up as much as possible!)

*After a they are done with picking candies*

*Repairing sound*

Yui: ….Hah..ha...Yuma Kun...I have reached my limit…!

Yuma: Tch! Get fixed already!!

*Yuma hitted machine more time*

Yui: Ah...looks like we did….

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Oh, looks like we’re done with repairing...Thank you so much!

Yuma: Np, I just hitted, that was all. Is that ‘kay?

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Fufu~ It was a great help. Take my cotton candies as a gift.

Yuma: That’s fine though, but if possible, we would like to have sugars.

Yui: For many reasons, we must have to gather some sugars...Please, can you accept this request?

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: But...due to this circumstance, if I finish up using my extra sugars, then it will get tough to recover the crisis...

Yuma: Oi! Who do you think you get rescued from this circumstance? If you’re grateful, then give those!!

Yui: Yuma Kun, dont! We are so sorry for being rude.

Yuma: You!

Yui: I didn’t really intend to help for getting thanks or something. It was just about hitting afterall.

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: I’m really sorry…

Yuma: ...ugh...Let’s go.

Yui: (It’s good that I convinced him. Now, let’s regain our mind, and go for the next step.)

Place: ザフィーア 菓子店   厨房 / The fear confectionery shop, kitchen 

Yui: (After all...we couldn’t gather the perfect amount..)

(But, we must do something...I should try out by requesting them)

‘The fear’ shop’s manager: I refuse!! I won’t make the cake unless I get the necessary amount of sugar, I told you, didn’t I?!!

Yuma: THIS - IS- WHY Make something using these, even though a small one!

The fear shop’s manager: No-no-n-n-n-o-! Stop speaking cocky despite being a lay, ‘cuz it’s just… The things can’t be done, means can’t be done!

Yui: Calm down Yuma Kun...But we still managed some sugars, right? Can’t you even barely make one?

The fear confectionary assistant: I know your feelings, but it’s still not quite yet.

Yui: But somehow…

*Someone Opens the Door*

‘The fear’ shop’s manager: Who’s there? Getting into the kitchen without my permission? What does that mean!

???: Oh, I thought there's a crisis of sugar in this shop...I get some sugar for you. Aah! It’s you guys.

Yui: Eh!? Why are you here…

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: That’s to you that, my shop improved a lot! You were really a great help.

I announced to all the stallholders in the acquaintance for sugar and fortunately, I managed to get some...Here you go.

Yuma: Haa? This is too much! You can use it for cotton candy or yourself!

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: I also thought about that for a while...Somehow I remembered that you guys were working so hard.

Yui: Really, thank you! How can I thank you? I don’t think I will be able to do anything for you…

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: It’s fine! You said earlier, right? “ We’re not helping to receive thanks.” Those feelings of you made me happy.

Yui: (Ah…!)

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Fufu~ Seeing this kind woman to smile...I am so glad to see it. 

*Yui blushes*

Yuma: ...Earlier...That was my bad.

Cotton Candy Shopkeeper: Nope. By this, your problem has been solved, right?

‘The fear’ shop’s manager: Since, the perfect amount of sugar is collected, then we got no other choices but to make one.

Yui: This means…!

The fear confectionary assistant: Fufu~ Looks like we'll be busy for a while. Now, it’s time for the workers to get started. You guys, feel free to have some rest.

Place: ホテル・モーントシュタイン  客室 / Guest Room of Mortstein Hotel

Yui: (While waiting, they already prepared the cake…!)

*Sound of spoon*

Yui: This tart (French dish cake) is delicious! Ne, Yuma Kun, what ‘bout having a bite?

Yuma: No…

Yui: Eh? Kyaa!?

*He gets closer*

Yuma: You’re...really cool.

Yui: *Bushing* For any reason...?

Yuma: It was impossible. But...you made it possible at the end. Wonderful...As expected from my woman.

Yui: Embarrassing…!

Yuma: Then, I’ll make it more embarrassing...Nh..*KISS*

Yui: *Kisses back* Nh...nh… 

Yuma: ...kuku~....*kiss*...kiss*...I knew...you’re a perfect woman…*kiss*

Yui: (I am already embarrassed...But for now...I will be like this…)

Yuma: Gimme the tart. I want to eat it.

Yui: Here it is…

Yuma: Umm...tasty! Today, we have eaten only sweet stuffs *eats*

Yui: Yes…

Yuma: It’s fine in a while. Gimme one more.

Yui: (Today I was so exhausted but...I am so happy to have met with many kind people…)

— 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗢𝟭—

[whootwhoot]

»»——"𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯" 𝘫𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 —««

- character: jahad/data jahad (to be spesific) 

- series: tower of god

- genre: fluff, office worker and manager 

- “Worker’s confession” jahad x reader one shot

- (author’s note: I’ll put the banner up later, I don’t have the right photo right now aaA, also I’m so sorry if I butchered your request this is horrible lmAO and it took so darn long, I’ll improve my writing skill and re-write this if possible) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It’s a regular weekday, you are alone in the office trying to finish up your shift for the night. It was a quiet night, the only thing beside your presence was just your desk light. 

“Finally…” you lean back in your chair and stretch your stiff shoulders. 

You’ve been sitting in the same positions for hours and your body feels like a heavy rock. While rubbing your eyes, you get up and start to clear the stationary on your table. 

You look towards your manager’s room, upon realising that the lights are still on, your eyes light up and your mouth instantly forms a cheeky grin. 

You take a deep breath and turn the door knob, flinging the door open to greet your boss.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand they enter the room, surprising Jahad!” you narrate while entering 

Jahad was sitting at the desk, in front of his computer, with his head in his hands. He jerks his head upwards and plasters a small smirk on his face. 

“Hey Miss Y/n.” 

“Are you done with work yet?” 

“Also everyone’s gone just call me Y/n.”

“Okay, Y/n. Is it a worker’s business to know what their boss is up to?” he asks while raising his eyebrows.

“Shift is over so the worker status doesn’t apply now.”

“According to who now?”

“Well, me.”

“So? Are you done or not.”

“You sure are impatient.”

“I’m craving for some food, and I know a great barbeque plaza nearby.”

“It’s 12am.”

“Who cares? It’s food!” 

“And why are you asking me?”

“I thought maybe, just maybe, my boss might be up for some late night supper.” 

Jahad stands up while shuffling the paper in his hands, avoiding any eye contact with you. You slowly moved towards the door, turning your head back to ask one more time.

“Soooo, you coming?”

“Of course.”

----

“Freedom!”

Jahad gives you a dismissive head shake as you yell and skip down the path in front of the office. This isn’t the first time you went for supper or eat together with Jahad, although it was usually on rare occasions where he invites you to eat with him. It was usually just for companies meet and greets. 

The aroma of the meat makes your stomach growl as the two of you approach the barbeque plaza, it growls louder after you finish ordering the mouth watering food on the menu.

“Y/n, That was you wasn’t it.” 

“How hungry are you?” 

“Me? No, I’m fine.”

Right on que, your uncooperative stomach growls yet again, gaining you a glare from Jahad.

“I might’ve skipped dinner…” 

Jahad’s glare seem to pierce through your skin as he asks

“Again?” 

“Last time, I promise!” 

“That’s what you-”

You are saved by the waitress as she places the tray of food on the table. 

----

While eating, you try to fill the awkwardness in the air. The relationship between you and Jahad are way past workers and managers. Despite you being not subtle at all, Jahad seems blindy oblivious to all this.

“Jahad… you don’t have a girlfriend right?” 

His reaction makes you giggle as he scrambles to get water while choking on the food in his mouth. 

“No, is it a mandatory thing among workers and bosses to know about each other’s love life?”

“I’m just interested in what kind of girl you’d be into.”

You twirl the ends of the strands of your hair while lowering your head. 

“I don’t have the answer to that.”

Silence was filled with the sound of clanking plates and silverware for a few minutes.

“How about you, how's your love life like?” 

Jahad glances at you while rubbing the palm of his hands together.

“It might sound silly but I have a crush on someone right now.”

“You do?”

Jahad sits up with his back straightened, directly looking at you with his golden irises enlarge.  

“I- I mean yeah, why do you sound so surprised?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Who’s the guy?”

“Am I supposed to answer your questions about my love life or?”

“Oh, oh- yeah, ok right.”

Jahad clears his throat and adjusts his tie while you scramble in order to find another topic to talk about.

“Oh yeah, congratulations on getting Khun’s Company to seal the deal for our newest project! I wasn't sure if it was going to work out but I'm glad I trusted you Jahad! ”

“Trust me?”

“I've always trusted you since being an intern here.”

Jahad adverts his gaze, clenching his fist while flashing his signature small smirk. 

“The khuns… they're pretty cunning so it’s good to get them on our side.”

“This reminds me, do you- I mean like, between Khun Aguero and you, do you have some sort of thing going on?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“You two seem really close during the party.” 

“Let’s see… he walked up to me and praised me for being able to handle such a cold hearted boss and that’s all.”

“Do you think I’m cold hearted?” 

“NO! Of course not, I mean you built a pretty thick wall around you so others might think that way.” You give a bitter laugh as Jahad stands up and excuses himself to the bathroom. 

You lightly slap the sides of your face after your hands run through your hair. 

Why is he so oblivious? Maybe you aren’t obvious enough… No way you told him that you trusted him and you don’t think he’s cold! Why did you bring up relationships? Just how desperate are you?

A shadow falls over you as a familiar voice rang.

“Let’s go.” 

You intentionally close the gap little by little as you and Jahad walk down a long path to get to his car. 

“This is it, I’ll tell him right now.”

“Jahad” “Y/n”

The both of you stop walking at the same time and look directly at each other, letting out a small laugh. Jahad places his hands in his front pockets while letting out a harsh breath.

“I’ll go first, Jahad.” 

You squeeze your eyes shut, clenching your fists 

“I like you, like, like like you. I know the whole no dating in the office thing but I can’t help it… you were such an amazing friend and that's so unfair! People say your cold, but you make me laugh! Since you’re as dense as a brick, I end up talking to you about so many things and well, you just listen and-”

Jahad’s gentle arms wrap around you, you feel his body pressing onto yours, the indescribable warmth around your chest. One hand softly stroking your head while the other strongly gripping on your waist. 

“I’m sorry…” his sentence came out as a whisper 

Your cheeks were tainted with light pink, sinking into the warmth of his body. Feeling each other’s heartbeat as he tightly holds you in his arms. The world around you freezes as you squeed him back, not wanting the moment to end. 

“Y/n… I like you too, I just never really noticed that feeling before I saw you laughing with Khun at the party.”

“That smile made me realise I wanted it all for myself, I want to be the person to make you laugh like that.” “Only your smile can warm the depths of my chilly heart.”

Jahad jokes while laughing as he pulls away from the hug.

“Am I dreaming...? I don’t really know what to say.”

“It’s all right, your lovely smile says it all.”

He reaches for your face and his thumbs stroke your cheeks.

“What happened to you, how are you so cheesy all of a sudden?”

He laughs lightly while you stare into his eyes, specks of gold seems to shimmer brighter now that his feelings are confessed. 

“You did.”

[evanescentdawn]

5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23!

thank you so much for the questions! ♥️♥️

5. Show me your favorite under-appreciated fic; why do you wish it got more attention?

mmh. difficult to answer this question now since I don’t… feel that about any of my fics right now? like sure I would love if some got more attention but it’s not that I feel they are under-appreciated though.

11. Do you have any writing rituals you do before (or during when) you write?

I have to have music on! well, 99% of the time. it really helps with the writing, especially when I am jumping through fandoms/ships.

during writing, I scroll through tumblr/discord/Twitter for a breather. I can’t really work in one setting for long because I find it to focus for that long so I jump around. The problem is that sometimes I don’t back lol

i don’t think I any other ‘rituals’ other these

12. Where do you commonly find inspiration for your stories?

god, this question. literally everywhere?? ANYTHING can give me inspo. like I literally got a inspo from a typo I made once.

but when inspiration is really hard to find, I go to fics. they really help with igniting inspo. it doesn’t even have to be about the thing I want to write (though it would be helpfull) I literally go to my fave writer and reading their stuff usually instantly give me inspiration. because for some reason, when I read super awesome stuff it make me want to write too haha

17. What’s your overused word/phrase that you have to keep an eye out for when you edit?

I have so much of these.

it is usually:

though, just, absolutely, realise

and I deff more but it’s harder to recall them like this

and oh yeah, lately I’ve been finding that I use ‘but’ a lot and have to watch myself haha

20. Do you enjoy editing? Why or why not?

hell no. I have many wips that are completely unedited just because I don’t have the effort to go over and edit it. like literally, some of finished and just need editing lol

sometimes I won’t even edit on wips physically but edit mentally as I reread through them because I am lazy and really, really just don’t want and try to remember these edit changes I want to have the next time I have to go and work on the wips……… but I, of course, forgot most of the edit changes I wanted to do lol

but also, there are times where editing is fun but it is rare. very rare.

and aaa it’s super annoying when there’s is a conflict in editing because I want both variations but of course cant have it or when — a edit means that this part I really like can’t work anymore. or when.

though! editing as in thinking about the story as a whole and changing the plot as I discover things — that is really fun, even when it gets difficult. the challenge is fun.

23. Would any of your stories make a good movie or TV series? Tell us about it, particularly what might stay the same or change?

mmmmh.

hard question!

okay actually I just realised that fic wip I made up yesterday would be perfect for it. it’s like. a domestic-with-some-plot about these eight people living in one house and being in a poly relationship and having sex but they haven’t addressed ‘feelings’ yet and so they are all in these weird limbo of not-feelings and acting like a family. I have so much side-stories idea that’s just them living their lives and having some powers and shenanigans.

writing asks

[dani-studydiary]

hello! love ur blog

do u have any tips for a freshman archi student who's been having trouble organizing projects and assignments and literally gets no sleep?😩 as much I love architecture but professors really are going though on us, it's the first semester ffs :(

Hey there :)) I had a rough time with my professors too in my first year, only later on you realize that they do that to show you the basics of working on a project and where to start; but in the meantime it’s really annoying ahah I made so many changes on my first projects and I had many group projects to coordinate, I nearly went nuts.

In hindsight I can say that doing these simple things kept me sane while working: 

- I don’t live in the city where my university is so I took the train, before the covid situation, and I could revise a bit in that half hour commute. In this situation I suggest getting up just a half hour early, nothing extreme, to revise the material of the last lecture so the knowledge is still fresh in your mind for the new lecture of the day.

- I create a weekly/monthly schedule so I can start planning in advance the time I need to work on a project or its specific parts, I usually had projects due at the end of the year so for both the semesters every week/months I gave myself a deadline on a part of the project, usually the week before Christmas I had to finish working on the plans, before march I had to finish working on the renders and the virtual model and a couple of week before the exam I could make the actual 3d model without losing sleep; so prepare in advance.

- Often my lectures consisted of theory lessons and revisions on the progress of the project. I recorded every theory lecture so I could both work on my project and repeat the materials listening to those recordings; I even recorded the revisions as back-up, so I could concentrate on what the professor was changing in the project and why instead of trying to write it all down and then later trying of make sense of the professor’s scribbles on the sheets.

- If I had to work with other people on a project I had to speak with everyone even if I’m not the most extrovert or charismatic person on earth. The only way to survive group projects It’s to communicate with others. If you don’t like something your friend proposed tell them and propose an alternative solution; always bring solutions to an argument and not problems, even if your solution still need some work. I could have avoided lots of inside fights if the people in my group talked to each other instead of doing stuff without a group talk first.

- Set a bedtime. It’s not worth working on a project late into the night, your brain is not really concentrated, and you could make a lot of mistakes that takes double the time to correct the next day. It’s better to sleep and wake up early, drink a lot of water and just work in the morning.

- If you have oral exam work with a friend or a study buddy, you can explain stuff to each other so you’re forced to speak with the correct terms and you can improve your speech skills.

- Name your layers, your recordings, folders and your files. This saved me from re-doing a whole plan cause i couldn’t find the damn file and from losing my mind in the ocean of photoshop layers my friend named a, aaa, yellow, asdfgfh, concept2. >-<

- Lastly, if coffee start losing its effects, start swapping that for tea or ginseng; use energy drinks as a last resort.

That’s it, these simple advice really helped me in my last years. I wish you good luck in your studies anon :)) ✨ 

[tsumusamu]

asks :D

sorry i took so long to answer these! i just put them in one post so i wouldn't spam too much

Um I read both your series recently and I just wanted to tell you omg I love them so much I couldn’t put down my phone I got so invested into it and if it’s not a bother if you could add me to the tag list for Amorentia and Call you mine🥺💜👉👈

of course! it’s not a bother! i’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the series! <3

hello, i just want to ask if you have any haikyuu fic recommendations (preferably abt bokuto or atsumu)? Or know any other acct/s that write them? im currently on a fic hunt and i just want some writing that’s as good as yours 🤧

hi there! honestly i havent read many haikyuu fics as of late but alkhale on ao3 is probably my favorite author of all time. they have explicit fics but their rated t fics are just as good. i admire them so much!!

I LOVE UR WRTING omgosh am looking forward to the next part of call you mine SO MUCH u have no idea !!! heheh take ur time will be patiently waitinggg <3 take care!!!

i’m so happy you like my writing it means so much! you take care as well ok <3

My emotions went everywhere!! can you add me to the Call you mine taglist please?😆

Of course!

Omg omg omg I really enjoyed the most recent chapter of ‘call you mine’!! I know you were stressed about writing/publishing it but GIRLL IT WAS AMAZING AND HEART-WRENCHING - and it was a great read! Keep up the awesome work, and I’m looking forward to seeing reader and Atsumu’s interactions in the future like UGH MY HEART. PLEASE, YOU LOVE BLINDED IDIOTS. Take care, lovely!! <3 stay healthy and get some good many hours of sleep! :)) 

GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!! yes i dont think it was my best work but i will do my best to keep writing in the future! they are such idiots that i felt myself cringing so hard while writing LOL </3 i will take care of myself and i hope you do too!!!

can I be tagged in the next update of Call you mine? 

yes!

you are such a talented writer and i just love “call you mine”. i saw that you apologised for making part 4 12k words long, but honestly write as much as you want to bc we all need as much of this series as we can get. (btw i saw that you said you don’t know when you’ll post the next update, but i kid you not when i say that i’ll check your blog daily to see if you’ve posted another part of the series and to check our your other content as well 🤭) 

YES HAHA sorry i do get really long winded sometimes hence the huge chapter that i posted a few weeks ago LOL the last chapter will be even longer so prepare for that....... sorry abt my inconsistency that i cant tell you when i’ll update next but thank you for being so patient and supportive!!

could i be added in the taglist of both atsumu fics 🥺

yup!

i am speed

and would love to be added to your general taglist whenever you update any of your fics!! thanks🤍

of course! <3

can i be tagged for the call you mine 🥺 

yes i’ll tag you :)

i’m in love with the hogwarts haikyuu au! i think it’s an amazing idea that needs more stories

ME TOO ANY HOGWARTS AU HAS ME GOING INSANE I THINK IT’S ONE OF THE MOST ENTERTAINING AUS TO BOTH READ AND WRITE. i will definitely be writing more hogwarts haikyuu in the future!!

i forgot to add to that last post that what you’re writing is wonderful and amazing and can’t wait for part 4!

thank you so much for your support!

call you mine is such a masterpiece, you’re such an amazing fucking writer (like the plot and everything???? GENIUS) and i can’t wait for the next update sndnkejdh 

AHHH ANON thank you im so happy that you liked call you mine uiefdiasifua im currently working on the update rn thanks for being patient!!

Hi i was the ao3 reader who discovered you and wanted to drop by and say i am sooo excited to read your latest chapter!!! i also wanted to say I love LOVE major love your hogwarts au fic! idk if you know james potter but you probably do seeing as you made an au but atsumu reminds me soo much of young james potter!! i read some fics of james potter and i find him and atsumu so alike in a a way i would love if you could do more takes on your hogwartsau!!! i could send you the links if you want!!

OMGJOIJAI I hadnt even thought of it that way?? now that you mention it james and atsumu in my story do seem to have some similarities but i hope i didnt make atsumu too much of a dickhead D: i will definitely be writing more for hogwarts haikyuu!

can i mayhap get added to your general taglist? your writing is AMAZING, never fails to send me into the stratosphere from how good it is.

sure thing! i’m happy you’re enjoying my work thank you for your message <3 pls dont stay too long in the stratosphere though it’s kinda hard to breathe up there LOL

hiii!!! can you please add me to call you mine taglist?? 

for sure!

IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 5 OF CALL U MINE AHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE IT WILL LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!

Hello!!! Can I please be added to the Amortentia and Call you Mine taglist please? ❤️❤️ I think about them all the time, Atsumu brain rot for life!

Also super hyped for your upcoming Osamu fic! You’re amazing, I hope you’re not too stressed! Stay hydrated and get enough sleep you wonderful human being ✨✨✨❤️❤️

YES OF COURSE U CAN AND ATSUMU BRAINROT FOR ME 24/7 AS WELL. i hope i’ll be able to finish that osamu fic soon aaa thank you for being patient <3 please take care of yourself as well!

Will ch.5 be the last chapter of Call You Mine?

yes!

i just wanna say 'call you mine' is 10/10. your writing? *french kiss* i love how you go into detail - we see both atsumu's reader p.o.v - it gives depth to the characters! it's so realistic too. reader's hesitance is very valid - like how can you be sure of atsumu's feeling, when he's getting his dick wet everyday LOL! thank you for writing this, i am enjoying it so much! <3

HDSUUFHASUHF ANON PLS AHHH IM SO HAPPY THAT UR ENJOYING IT and also atsumu will get his dick wet one last time in the final part... u will see ;)

HELLO AMORTENTIA AND CALL YOU MINE ARE SO NICE im gonna cry my favorite tropes + one of them is a hogwarts!au + your writing 🥺❤️

HELLO HELLO THANK U FOR READING MY WORK!!!

i can’t wait for part 5 of call you mine. this series of yours is literally so GENIUS

i really hope that it will be satisfying!! thank you for your kind message!

I wanted to say that your writing is absolutely perfect. The way you capture these characters I’m truly speechless, and each chpt it just gets better and better 😭😭💛 could I ask to be added to the call you mine taglist? Truly, thank you for ur amazing writing !!!! 😭

AHHHH IM LITERALLY BLUSHING... THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM T___T yes of course you can be added to the taglist and thank you for reading my work!

ALSO YOUR TAKE ON TSUMU IS GOLDEN. IT IS CLASS. PERFECTION. GRACE. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. Anywayz CATCH ME CRYING OVER CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N 🥲😭💛

PLS ATSUMU IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING MY TAKE ON HIM. IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE ENJOYING THIS TSUMU. AND YES... CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N LITERALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY THEY R SO DUMB BUT I CRY WHILE WRITING THEM

Hi there! I love your Call You Mine atsumu x reader fic so much, it’s so well written! Would it be possible for me to be added to the taglist please?

thank you! and yes you can be added!

hi, just caught up with call you mine! i know this might be an odd comment on it but i'm currently going through a similar situation with my best friend as reader is (gray area, we haven't talked in a while) and reading both of their perspectives really brought me comfort. anyway thank you for writing it :)

ooo wow :O i really hope the situation you’re in gets resolved soon im wishing you good luck!! im happy that my writing was able to give you comfort <3 thank you for reading and supporting my writing!

your video edits are just *chefs kiss* my friends and I have been laughing at them for days in our gc and have even inspired memes of our own 😅 hope to see more them, they’re too good istg sending you love from three art school kids from Europe 🥺💕✨

??!#())(!@ OMG HAHAHA i would love to see some of the memes you guys came up with LOL sending love right back at you <3

hi love !! can i be added your gen tag list if you have one?

yes, i’ll add you!

Hello! Sorry for the bother but I’m suck a HUGE fan of your smau! And I’m talking about “Call You Mine” it’s so good and depressing...but that isn’t the point! I know you are busy with something else but I would like to ask if it’s be alright if I made a small fic about that story? If not, that is completely fine and understandable!

Thank you for your time and cya next time!!

yup yup that series comes with an angst tag for a reason! you’re not being a bother don’t worry! i would prefer for no fics to be made based off of the story, i’m sorry :( but thank you for asking!

I just discovered your blog and I love your writing so much.

I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list for call you mine with atsumu x reader? This story hurts me so much and it's written so well.

Thank you and have a nice day 🧡

hi! thank you for supporting my writing! yes you can be added to the taglist and im sorry it hurts </333 hope you have a nice day too bb

When do you think the next part of amortentia will be up? It’s my favorite series 😫 (no rush though!!!!)

hmmm im really not sure unfortunately :(

Sorry to bother, but I literally went through every part of Call you Mine just now AND I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Oh my goodness it hurts how much I love it. The friendship and the unspoken love for each other that leads to a long yearning for each other is literally my fanfic bread and butter. ITS SO DARN GOOD and I felt like I needed to tell you that. Anyways, I hope you are having an amazing week, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re safe and healthy! Thank you for what you do! 🤗

IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LOVE IT. GENUINELY. KNOWING THAT PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING MY WORK MAKES ME SMILE SO BIG. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS. please take care yourself as well, and thank you for your ask!

Hi! I recently saw your atsumu x reader fic on ao3 (Call you mine) and I haven't read it yet but I've seen others talk about it on tumblr so I was wondering if I could be added to a tag list for that fic (if you have one ofc). Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't have one or it's full!

yes i can add you the taglist! i hope you’ll enjoy the fic whenever you decide to read it! <3

[tabooneko]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LUNATIC PARADE – SAKAMAKI LAITO – CHAPTER 2

Hello, DL fans, you still alive~? Sorry for not being active during holidays, a lot of happened irl. But my friend is back to translate LP, so here is chapter 2.

It’s probably the first route where I feel that it’s actually Laito who is pretty poor here haha. He has to deal with Yui’s naivety even more than normal xD

Translation: @kiruriru-art QC: TabooNeko

PLEASE DON’T REPOST!

Enjoy~

Place: Mondstein Hotel, Guest room

 Yui: Nnnu ... nnn?

       (Laito's not here...?)

       (Somehow I'm feeling a little dizzy... . He might have drunk a little too much...)

Laito: A, Bitch-chan. You woke up?

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Though it would be good if you'd still be sleeping. Yesterday I got a little too excited. Nfu ♪

Yui: (… The way he says that...!)

Laito: Well, either way, let's relax a little more while we eat.

Yui: ...Fruits?

Laito: Yeah. I asked hotel's employees and they brought them for us.

           There, Bitch-chan. Open your mouth~. I will fe-ed-you.

Yui: E … But …

Laito: It's ok, it's ok. Don't feel shy. Here, aaa.

Yui: A, aaa …

       (… It's a really sweet strawberry.)

Laito: How is it? Delicious?

Yui: … Yeah.

Laito: Hmm. Then, I'll taste it a little too. Nn …

Yui: … !

Laito: Uun. It's sweet … Really tasty.

           Then, here goes another one ♪ Aaa...

Yui: Nn …

Laito: … Hm? What's that? I've got strawberry juice on my finger.

           … Will you lick it and make it clean for me? Here …

Yui: Eh?! L-lick it … ?!

Laito: Hey, hu-rry up …

Yui: (U … resistance may be pointless … )

         …

Laito: Nfu. That's good … Somehow it started to feel a little erotic …

           Hey, if you like it, let's stay all day on bed like that … Nn …

Yui: … That's no good! If we don't go looking for Earl's clues...

Laito: Ugh … Even though it started to feel good, Bitch-chan, it really is difficult to get you into the mood…  

           But, that's right. What to do about Earl's case.

Yui: …We're not going to that boy we've met yesterday?

Laito: Won't it be enough if we just let it be? I said it, right? He's scheming something for sure.

           That's why, even when we'll go looking for clues we have to go ask someone else.

Yui: …

           (It's true, it was a little suspicious that he could say so many helpful things … )

           (After all, like Laito-kun said, it's better not to trust so easily … )

Laito: There's no other way. First of all what about we go to town and ask around about Earl?

Yui: …

       (Ether way there's still a lot of things that we don't know about Earl, it would be good if we do it...)

       (If it go well, there might be some people who know Earl's whereabouts...)

        … Then, should we try it?

Place: Glimmer street

 Yui: … I see. Thank you very much.

Laito: Uun, It's no good after all. But I knew it all along.

Yui: …

        (I asked a lot of different people but … )

        (Even though all of them heard Earl Walter's name or knew that he's living in that castle,)

        (They didn't know any specifics about him … )

        (… It's troublesome … What should we do …)

Laito: Hey, Bitch-chan. Why don't we finish here and go check another place?

Yui: Another place?

Laito: Un. A place where there is more people than here, hm?

Place: Saint nore Park’s street

 Yui: … Hey, Laito-kun … A Place where there is a lot of people is …

Laito: Nfu. Obviously it's here. Saint nore Park!

           Hey, look around you. There are a lot more people than yesterday, right?

Yui: … That's right but …

Laito: What's more, yesterday we only had chance to check that maze, right?

           That's why I thought we should have fun again why we're here doing research ♪

Yui: Eee … ?

Laito: Come on, let's go~!

Yui: A! Hey, Laito-kun! Wait … !

***

Laito: Haa, it was fun! You really have the feeling for go-kart, don't you?

Selection:

-        That’s not true.

-        Fufu. Is that so?

 ----------------------------------------------------------------

Choice: That’s not true.

 Yui: T-That’s not true…

Laito: Whaat~? Don’t be so humble~

Yui: (I don’t intend to be…)

  ----------------------------------------------------------------

Choice: Fufu. Is that so? (+)

 Yui: Fufu. Is that so?

Laito: Un. Your handling of the steering wheel while cornering was above everyone else. It really surprised me.

Yui: (He's praised me)

  ----------------------------------------------------------------

           (And … I'm glad Laito-kun seems to have fun … )

           (That being said, I'm having fun as well but …)

           (Now we're looking just like people who came only to enjoy the parade...)

           (...I wonder if it's ok...)

           (But, there are no changes in my physical condition … And the jewel is properly working, right?)

           (Either way, we don't have any clues regarding the Earl...)

Laito: A, Bitch-chan! Next is this one! Let's ride this!

Yui: E, which one?

Laito: Jet coaster! If you're in amusement park, you can't miss it, right?

Yui: Jet coaster …

Laito: Nfu. It's ok if you're afraid. I'll be with you, right? What's more …

           I would like to see your cute face miserably distorted by the wind pressure on the jet coaster.

Yui: Eeh … !?

           (That kind of goal is it even… ?!)

Laito: That's why, please. Let's ride it together. Hm~?

Yui: (… Saying that he's already going to the place where the ride is … ?!)

Place: Jet coaster's Boarding Gate

 Laito: Aaa, it was so fun~!

           The feeling of being cornered bit by bit by nearly falling from the sky was quite overwhelming … !

Yui: (Ah … It's finished somehow … )

Laito: Now, let's check the photograph...

Yui: Photograph?

Laito: That's right. You know, on this coaster there are cameras set in the most scream-worthy points...

           And in that moment, they take perfect photos of faces crooked in scared or pained expressions.

           So? Don't you think it's a really amazing service? Nfu ♪

Yui: (Th-That kind of mechanism … )

Laito: Hm, but what's that? Bitch-chan, you have the same face every time …

           That's boring. Hey, let's ride it one more time?

Yui: Eeh?! One more time?!

Laito: Nfu, Why not? I'm not satisfied.

           Then, let's go for round two!

Yui: Wait… Laito-kun… !

Laito: Uunn, that pale expression... it's good! That's it! That's what I was looking for...!

Yui: …

       (After that, how many times did we ride that... I can't anymore...)

       (… Somehow, I don't feel so good...)

       Ts...!

Laito: Bitch-chan?!

           What happened so suddenly? Are you not feeling well? Hey!

Yui: I just felt a little weak... after...

       (Ts... That weird feeling near my chest...)

       (Could it be...)

       Ts...

       (That's bad... I feel like fainting...)

Laito: Bitch-chan! … Bitch-chan!!

Yui: U...nn...?

Place: Diamant's fountain

 Laito: A! That's good! You woke up!

Yui: Laito-kun...?

           (That's right... I didn't feel good near the entrance to the jet coaster...)

Laito: You fainted so suddenly, it really surprised me...

Yui: Could it be, that you carried me here...?

Laito: Well yeah. It's not like I could just let you lay there, right?

           I was wondering if I should carry you to the hotel or if I should contact Reiji.

           ...You Ok now?

Yui: Yeah, I feel good now. Thank you...

Laito: You know... I'm sorry about earlier. I was having so much fun it seems like I got carried away.

           I was thinking what would happen if you didn’t wake up.

           What the hell happened?

Yui: … That's …

       I myself don't know for sure...but it could be the jewel...

Laito: …it’s weakening?

Yui: ...It could be that.

Laito: …Then, there's no time to fool around.

           We have to meet the Earl as soon as possible and ask for your heart back...

Yui: But, what are we going to do without any hints...

Laito: …If you worry about the hints, we have plenty of them so it's ok.

Yui: Eh...?

Laito: Then, follow me. … Can you stand up?

Yui: Yeah... it's ok but...

Laito: Ok, then let's go.

Yui: (Laito-kun, what on earth is he planning...)

Place: Glimmer Street, Aizen Alley

 Yui: (Here is... If I remember right, here is the place where Mrs. Aji's shop is...right?)

Laito: I think it's around here but...

           A, just like I thought... Bitch-chan come here. We're going underground.

Yui: Underground...?

Place: Underground passageway

 Yui: (What is here...An underground canal...?)

           (feels a little eerie...)

Laito: I think the 'underground passageway' that kid was talking about is here.

Yui: …

----------------------------------------

Young vampire boy: It's up to you if you trust me or not.

           Anyway, if you're interested in what I've said, just come to the underground passageway.

----------------------------------------

Yui: (Could it be that Laito-kun decided to trust that boy...)

           Hey, Laito-kun...Is it possible that what that boy from yesterday said...

Laito: Since we don't have any other hints, I thought we could see him and try to dance as he plays.

           What's more, I'm worried about the condition of your body so we have to hurry.

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Then. Yui-chan, come closer to me. Whatever happens you can't leave my side.

           ...You know, this place is especially lawless even in the out-lawn Devil World.

           Even I can't tell what can happen here and it would be really troublesome if something bad happened to you.

Yui: U-un... I got it...

Laito: Then, let’s go.

           …

Yui: …

       (I feel like we walked quite a long distance, but because the surrounding is the same all the time I lost my sense of distance....)

       (No matter how far we go, it's just the same canal...)

       (Is this boy really here...)

???: Fufu. You’ve finally come.

Laito: Uwa!?

Yui: Laito-kun!?

           (From above, something...!)

Laito: …Ouch... . Hey! What the hell was that!

Young vampire boy: You were late, weren't you. You made me wait.

Yui: (...This boy...!)

Laito: Hmph. Unlike you, we are a little busy, you know?

Young vampire boy: You're saying that but you just haven't found a way to get into Earl's castle, right?

Laito: ...We came all the way to meet you, so you'll tell us how to get in there, right?

Young vampire boy: Ok. But it's not like I'll tell you right now.

Laito: Ts... Why? The deal was different.

Young vampire boy: It wasn’t. I told you, haven't I? If you do as I say I'll help you...

           Earl Walter is famous for his sharp ears. If I just tell you the way to get there here

           We may get forestalled and won't be able to go inside the castle. That's why...

Laito: I got what you're trying to say. But

           even though I think I understand, for now, I can’t trust you at all.

           To begin with I don't even know where, to whom and what you are doing, it's obvious, isn't it?

           That's why, first I need a proof that you are someone that can be trusted.

Young vampire boy: Proof...?

Laito: Un. First of all, I want you to show me proof that you're not Earl Walter's pawn.

Young vampire boy: Hmph. Unlike this miss there big bro is quite suspicious.

Laito: Nfu. Sorry but it seems like that's the case.

Young vampire boy: But, unfortunately I don't have any proof like that.

Laito: Hmph... I see... It looks like in the end we can't trust you and do as you say...

Yui: ...Hey, Laito-kun...

        That's enough, let’s just trust him...

        We don't know any other way and sometimes you need trust to move forward...

Laito: Uun, it's obvious that you would say something like that.

           But, unfortunately, I can't just unconditionally trust anyone.

           Unlike you, right? It's nothing new, right?

Yui: ...

        (...That's right. Laito-kun has a reason not to trust people...)

        (...I’m sure it’s because he knows better than anyone else the bitter feeling of being betrayed...)

        (Laito-kun was that deeply hurt in his childhood when he was betrayed by Cordelia-san.)

Laito: …Yui-chan? What’s wrong? Grabbing my hand so suddenly...

Yui: ...It’s nothing...

Laito: Hmmm ... But I somehow do understand what you’re trying to say.

          Since I am your servant for eternity...

Yui: Se, servant?!

Laito: That’s why, no matter how unwilling I am, I have to follow your orders.

           That being said, fine. We’ll do as the kid says. That’s fine, right?

Yui: Laito-kun... Laito: So... take us wherever you want. We’ll do as you say.

Young vampire boy: Ok. Then follow me.

Laito: You heard him. Let’s go. Yui-chan.

Yui: Yeah.

       (I don’t know if this is really the right thing to do...)

       (But, Laito-kun...)

       (No matter what’s in front of us, I will never betray you.)

       (I swear.)

Young vampire boy: Ok, both of you sit here for now.

Yui: Here...is this your home?

Young vampire boy: Well, something like that? Anyway, we can talk safely here.

Laito: We don’t really have time to sit and relax at your home.

Young vampire boy: Don’t be in such rush, big bro. ...First of all, look at that.

Yui: A map...?

Young vampire boy: This is the secret map of this underground passageway.

            Right now we’re here. And...

           Here are the secret doors... meaning the entrance to Earl Walters’s castle.

Yui: The entrance to the castle...

Laito: May I ask something?

Young vampire boy: ...What?

Laito: That map...is the thing you got from Aji yesterday, right?

Young vampire boy: Tsk...yes, so...?

Laito: Hmmm. So you got that map thanks to us, right?

          I just have one doubt, would Aji give up such a valuable map that easily?

         Could it be that you... have tricked Aji as well...?

Yui: ...?!

Young vampire boy: Tsk...how annoying. That’s right. But, it doesn’t matter, right?

           You two, thanks to that you got to know where is the entrance to the castle, ain’t that right!

Laito: Well, yeah. As a result.

Young vampire boy: If you keep saying unnecessary things I won’t tell you anything more. Is that still alright?

Yui: ...Laito-kun...

Laito: Eh...I got it. Do continue. And then?

Young vampire boy: The doors were certainly at that place. I checked yesterday and there’s no mistake. But...

           The doors are sealed by some unique magic. A special crystal is required to open them.

            Firstly you have to go to the mountain and get that special crystal.

Laito: ...Could it be, that you’re telling us to go and get that crystal or something?

Young vampire boy: That’s right!

Laito: ...You heard him. So, what are we going to do? Bitch-chan

Yui: That crystal... Is it hard to get it...?

Young vampire boy: If it was easy I wouldn’t ask you guys, duh.

Laito: Haha, that’s logical.

Young vampire boy: I think you got the gist of it but...

            Trying to go inside earl’s castle is reckless enough by itself.

            If you can’t even do such a simple thing, we have nothing to talk about.

Yui: (That’s true, it could be like that...)

Laito: ...Haa. We have no other way. Let’s do it.

Then, do you know where exactly we can find this crystal?

Young vampire boy: Of course. Inside the mountain is a cave made out of selenite crystal. The crystal is deep down there.

             But, as you proceed down that cave, you’ll meet a lot of tests and trials.

Yui: Tests and trials...what does it mean...?

Young vampire boy: Who knows. I don’t know that. I told you all I know.

Laito: Anyway it looks like we just have to go and find by ourselves.

          Shall we go then? Bye~! Thanks!

Yui: Ah, Laito-kun...!

Place: Glimmer Street’s back road

 Laito: ...

Yui: (Laito-kun is silent since then...)

        (Looks like he’s lost in thoughts...)

Laito: ...I’ve already said that before but I really can’t trust that kid.

          Look, just think about it a little. Why do you think, would he tell something like that to some strangers like us?

          I’m sure he’s plotting something.

Yui: ...

       (As I’ve thought, it’s like that...)

Laito: ...That being said, there’s nothing we can do now but go and find that crystal as that kid said.

           Ne, by the way, your body’s ok?

Yui: ...Eh? It’s fine, but why...

Laito: That’s good then. Anyway, for us to save you, it doesn’t matter if there is something fishy with this kid’s motives or not.

          We have to hurry up and open said doors to retrieve your heart from earl’s hands.

Yui: (So he is worried about me...)

        Laito-kun... About that... I’m sorry that I got us mixed in such a troublesome case.

Laito: Good grief. Why earl’s had to get his eyes set on your heart of all things...

          It won’t be worth it if you don’t do everything I say after all this is settled.

Yui: ...Un, that’s right.

Laito: Huuh? That way of talking... Could it be that you want to do as I say?

Yui: Eh...? That’s...

Laito: Nfu. Then I look forward to that. You got me so eager right now.

          I would this to you...and that...aaaah...just thinking about it is unbearable...!

Yui: (W-what the heck is he imagining...!)

Laito: Ne, Bitch-chan. When we get your heart back, to begin with would you get dressed in that?!

Yui: And “that” is...?

Laito: The costume that you can see on that display!

Yui: ...T-that...?!

       (But it’s so extremely skimpy...!)

Laito: It would be absolutely amazing if you wore it and swung a whip or something.

          And while we’re at it high heels, ok? And then, right...

Yui: (Somehow it seems I made some dangerous promise...!)

Laito: As for now, I’ll take today’s night to think about the requests~.

         Then, let’s prepare for tomorrow. Today, let’s go back to the hotel early.

         You’re tired and tomorrow a great adventure in the mountains is waiting for us.

         For the time being I’ll be patient. Nn... *kiss*

Yui: ...!

Laito: Nfu. I’ll remind you to be sure but, it’s for the time being, ok?

           Then, let’s go.

Yui: A! Don’t pull me like that...!

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “Contingency Plan” [ 2.07 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows) || S2 Tag || Official Page

JUST IN CASE – In preparation for the looming pressure of senior year, Eric meets with each junior for a mandatory check-in. Unwanted attention sheds light on areas of weakness. Contents under pressure can only bend so much before they break.

70 Minutes (20K words) || CONTENT WARNING: suicide attempt (not shown); suicidal ideation; depictions of anxiety. Take care of yourselves and read with discretion.

[ ← Trapped ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Got A Lotta Livin’ To Do → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “A Million Dreams” as performed by The Greatest Showman Original Cast || Performed by Eric Matthews (feat. Angela Moore)

From the back, we open on a young student sitting backwards on a chair underneath a gleaming spotlight. As they launch into the opening notes of the number, something about the voice is vaguely familiar albeit a much higher tenor than we’re used to. As the camera eases in a circle around them…

We come to face YOUNG ERIC MATTHEWS (16). He’s fresh-faced, excited, sporting his ridiculously good ‘90s hair and with a layer of baby fat on his cheeks. He’s in the role all of our protagonists are in now, the world he once occupied -- a hopeful performing arts student, dizzyingly proclaiming all of the dreams he’s going to accomplish.

There’s something truly charming about his youthful performance. An unwavering belief in his passion, an electric energy as he dances across the stage that has matured into something deeper as he’s gotten older. Undoubtedly, he’s also good, really good -- just as good as any of the students at AAA despite not attending some fancy academy for the arts.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

When the vocal tenor shifts in the middle of the song, younger Eric spins and the camera goes with him, transforming into ERIC MATTHEWS in present day. He’s still singing the same song, reprising the number on the AAA stage. The junior A class sits scattered in the audience, visible mostly from the back of their heads like how young Eric was first viewed.

A surprise guest joins in, ANGELA MOORE floating onto the stage with gusto. The A class performers react accordingly to this, excitement in their features at their former coach making a grand return. On the line “share your dreams with me,” she smiles and holds her hands to her heart -- MAYA HART emulates the gesture in the audience, obviously so happy she’s back.

Angela and Eric finish out the duet impressively, reminding us that the faculty at AAA certainly hold an understanding of what their students are currently living through. They round out a spin together and fall into a hug as the piano takes the song out, before walking to the front of the stage and clasping their hands together in front of themselves.

HARPER BURGESS jogs onto the stage to join them as the A class applauds, completing the trio and matching their stance.

Harper: Welcome to check-in week.

As they go on to explain, this is the annual week in the midst of each class’ junior year during which they meet with Eric -- and this time, maybe Angela! -- to discuss what their current goals and plans for the future are. Colleges, auditions, the real world is just around the corner, and it’s time for them to start preparing for it.

The response to this impending reality is decidedly mixed. Some seem excited, invigorated, whereas others look reluctant or just plain scared. Off these varied emotions --

Cue title sequence.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

The diva crop of performers are together again, Maya leading the discussion as she, ZAY BABINEAUX, NIGEL CHEY, YINDRA AMINO, and ISADORA DE LA CRUZ eagerly discuss the content of the week. Maya has every detail of her life seemingly planned down to the wire, more than prepared to chase that elusive dream by every single choreographed move.

Yindra and Nigel add in their two cents, the former claiming she wants to jet-set straight to Los Angeles to start trying to break into the music industry. Maya scoffs at this, claiming that’s a pretty risky business venture. Nigel notes that he wants to attend one of the theater schools in New York before jumping the ocean to study / start up some roles in London at the West End. Every great actor gets their start in the West End.

Zay and Isadora are particularly quiet. As Zay listens to his friends verbally shoot for the stars, he contemplates that maybe he’s selling himself too short or approaching his future too modestly. Isadora feels totally lost, way behind on the performer uptake and not even sure what she wants to pursue once they graduate.

Nigel: Well, better to have many talents you can’t choose between than be tethered to one that may or may not pan out.

Maybe so, Nigel. Maybe so. Isadora smiles half-heartedly, averting her gaze as they jump back into daydreaming. She notices FARKLE MINKUS seated a couple tables away by himself, excusing herself softly.

Oddly enough, Farkle is suddenly… looking and acting a lot more like his former self. He’s back in his more polished fashion from season one, despite how it doesn’t fit right anymore with his height gain and weight loss. His hair has been swept back off his forehead into what could be considered a coiff… if you squint.

More than that, what’s so jarring about it is the fervor that seems to have taken him over. He’s spent much of the school year being uncharacteristically listless unless provoked, and now he’s suddenly back to work at a ferocious pace. He’s bent over his laptop and a notebook, meticulously crafting his “future” presentation for Eric.

Isadora raises her eyebrows as she approaches, keeping the table safely between them.

Isadora: Well, didn’t realize future week meant we were throwing back to the past.

Farkle: [ lifting his head, glaring ] What?

Isadora: I’m just… you’re looking…

[ She isn’t sure what to say. Communicating is hard. ]

Isadora: You’ve certainly made a return to form, that’s all.

Farkle: Well, if nothing else is going to change then I don’t see why I should. The assignment for the week reminded me that nothing is more important than our goals -- that’s the only reason we’re at this school in the first place. And I guess something just… came over me.

Isadora: Yes, the ghost of Farkles past.

Farkle, unamused: Are you done wasting my time? And yours. Surely you would be better off spending your energy trying to figure out your paradoxical existence and decide which part of yourself you’re going to cut out to fully devote yourself to a set future at the age of sixteen.

Isadora honestly has no idea what to say. Partially because Farkle is being so waspish, and also because he sort of hit the nail on the head. She backs off without further comment, only glancing back over her shoulder once before marching away.

INT. AAA - CORY’S CLASSROOM - DAY

RILEY MATTHEWS is having lunch with CORY MATTHEWS, wisely avoiding the overwhelming atmosphere of the junior lunch period this week. As the two of them discuss her future potential, Cory is predictably all about one thing -- the dream. To him, Riley unequivocally has what it takes to make it, and she shouldn’t be giving that up for anything.

This is an uplifting take, and it’s nice that Cory believes in her so faithfully. But it’s not necessarily helpful, and doesn’t give Riley much to work with when it comes to outlining her plans in a tangible way for Eric to judge them.

She gives him a smile, turning back to her food as it falters somewhat.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

As Riley heads back into the hall, she accidentally runs into CHARLIE GARDNER. They exchange apologies, Riley attempting to strike up conversation about check-in week. But Charlie isn’t all that talkative, politely claiming he’s running late for a meeting and really needs to go.

Riley watches as he jogs away, finding his behavior a little odd. He’s Charlie, and he’s always been odd, but now Riley is more attuned to it since they’re tentatively rebuilding a friendship.

She lets it drop for now, but the expression on her face makes it clear she isn’t finished with it.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay is already warming up when Charlie arrives for their typical practice. Both of them are obviously a bit on edge due to the nature of the week, but at different levels of willing to talk about it. Zay laments how stupid the whole week is, whereas Charlie isn’t ready to give it any thought whatsoever.

Charlie can tell that Zay’s attitude goes deeper than annoyance, however, so he nudges him into talking about it. After a moment, Zay admits that he feels like maybe his approach in being realistic has instead turned pessimistic, and he’s being his own worst enemy.

Zay: My parents are both very logical people, okay? They totally support me and Jada in whatever we want to do -- and of course, we both chose artistic and ridiculous passions --

Charlie: True test of supportive parenting, they should be prepared for it.

Zay: But there was always this logical caveat nested in my brain. Like, I could do it, but it would take planning and perseverance and tons of hard work.

Charlie: And that’s wrong?

Zay: I don’t know. Just listening to everyone else talk about it, they’re all thinking big moves. They’re giving themselves the credit to be able to jump to another city or step up for a major audition on a whim. And I always thought I was as bold as the rest, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m selling myself short before I even go on sale. And I have no idea how to not be that way.

Charlie assures him that thinking logically and realistically isn’t a bad thing. They need a balance of both, he thinks, to actually survive a life in the arts. But if Zay wants to push his own boundaries and think bigger, then he needs to start by reaching as high as he can.

As if to demonstrate the notion of pushing boundaries, Charlie braves taking his hands when he comes to stand in front of him. Despite the fact that they’re at school, and anyone could walk into the dance studio at any moment. Zay glances down at their hands while Charlie asks him to think bigger, to think about what he thinks the highest bar he could reach might be.

They do the exercise back and forth for a bit, Zay saying something in his possible post-graduate trajectory and Charlie instructing him to go even grander. It escalates until it gets truly ridiculous, Charlie laughing as Zay says something like usurping Beyoncé fresh out of AAA and going on a world tour.

Sure, that’ll never happen, but the exercise does what it’s supposed to. It opens them both up, and Zay thanks Charlie sincerely.

He then tries to return the favor and allow Charlie the chance to talk about his future anxieties, but he’s not having it. He slips from his grasp, claiming they should really get to practicing.

Charlie: Can’t usurp Beyoncé if you’re not in top shape.

INT. BLUE’S APARTMENT - DAY

Isadora goes to visit BLUE NGUYEN after school, settling into his apartment. She’s eager to discuss the week’s assignment with someone who knows her well but is a removed neutral party, but it seems as though Blue is distracted. He’s got stuff going on with his new job -- since he can’t afford to go to college yet on his own -- and although he still attempts to be an avid listener Isadora can tell his mind is elsewhere.

She changes tracks instead, asking him what he’s working on. He seems grateful for the chance to talk about it, Isadora nodding along with a tight smile.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY

Riley isn’t getting much work done on her own future outline, distracted by Topanga’s incoming visit for family dinner. She’s fixated on picking the perfect outfit and trying to seem put together, obsessively fixing her new short hair in the mirror.

Maya is on a completely different page, erecting a whole moodboard for her meeting. It’s like a flashy, diva science fair board, and she’s lovingly adding pieces and tweaking them to perfection. She questions why Riley is so panicked over the meal while adding a photo of Britney Spears to the collage, right next to Valerie De La Cruz under “career inspirations.”

Riley: You’ve never had dinner with my family, okay? Especially not recently.

Maya: Really hyping this up for me, honey.

Riley: Besides I… I don’t know. I just have this… there’s this feeling…

She can’t articulate it, but she trusts her gut. She knows the other shoe has to drop eventually, although she’s not sure in what regard or what that might mean for them. How the hell is she supposed to focus on the future when her present is such a disaster?

INT. BABINEAUX HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Zay is leaning against the kitchen counter, lamenting his future troubles to DONNA BABINEAUX as she bustles around making dinner. She essentially echoes exactly what Charlie told him, albeit with her own touch.

Donna: Look, you work hard. You work twice as hard as the rest of the divas in that class to earn half the respect, and you’ve got the accolades to prove that you’re some of the best they’ve got. So to hell with reservations, you should not be concerned about reaching too high. Worry about the fall when you get there.

Convincing argument. Zay contemplates, nodding and gearing up to rearrange some things in his presentation for Eric.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

The full clan is assembled along with Maya, TOPANGA LAWRENCE avidly holding conversation with AUGGIE MATTHEWS. Cory mostly remains quiet as usual, smiling where appropriate and speaking when invited by others. Riley is quiet as well, unusually nervous.

Topanga lights up with a thought, remembering that there was something she wanted to let them all know. She happily declares that she’s decided where she wants to relocate permanently -- upstate! Out of the city, where her practice can really thrive and she can maybe expand.

But also hours away rather than minutes by train. This is a bombshell revelation, and Riley barely gets the chance to react to it before Topanga is already changing the subject again. She pulls Maya into conversation, wanting to know more about her and hear all about her time at AAA as compared to Riley’s.

Maya glances at Riley before taking up the conversational slack. Riley looks to Cory, wide-eyed, but he doesn’t have any optimism to offer. As this heavy reality settles over this dinner…

INT. GARDNER HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The more distant future is up for discussion at the Gardner table. ELEANOR GARDNER and AMBROSE GARDNER are curious to hear what this “check-in week” entails at AAA, and excitedly wonder what Charlie has thought about in regards to his future. ROSAMUND GARDNER and DAISY GARDNER listen plaintively, grateful it’s not them in the hot seat.

This is an uncomfortable topic, because Charlie doesn’t feel like he has any grasp on a future for himself. He barely knows who he is right now, he can’t fathom the future. He tries to give them something to chew on anyway, admitting that he loves dance a lot, but isn’t sure what he wants to do with that.

Rosie: Why are you at dance school then?

Charlie glares at her, kicking at her under the table. She sneers back, waiting until both parents aren’t looking to stick her tongue out at him. Eleanor jumps back into the brainstorming session Charlie never asked for, eagerly suggesting that he consider theology school if he isn’t sure what else he wants to do.

Eleanor: They have a great institution, Aggie loved it. They even have a performing arts major, which would be fun and still aligned with your interests.

Daisy, under her breath: Bridal college...

Ambrose laughs lightly, playing off of Daisy’s comment.

Ambrose: There you go, Charlie. Daisy’s onto something. You could get yourself a future and a wife, nice two-for-one.

Charlie: Oh, perfect. All figured out then. Ha ha.

Charlie’s words do not match his expression. He looks like he’s going to be sick, stabbing at his peas and forcing himself to swallow a forkful.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Before Charlie’s fork can hit the plate again, Maya’s moodboard hits the surface of Eric’s desk. She launches into professional and compelling presentation mode, giving a thorough, impassioned, and somewhat overwhelming explanation of how she’s outlined the next fifteen years of her career.

It all starts with arts college, of course, to which she’s selected a list of five in preference order that she will be applying to come next fall. From there, she has about four branching plans for each school that accounts for even the smallest details, creating an elaborate future tree that all eventually leads to the inevitable -- her name in lights, doing what she was born to do.

In the midst of Maya’s monologue, a classic AMBITION montage throws other juniors into the chair across from Eric to discuss their futures. Nigel makes commentary about how he just wants to act, but he figures going to AAA has given him plenty of practice for dealing with the drama of the industry. Yindra explains that she wants to head straight to Los Angeles, maybe major in music production but predominantly focus on building connections.

Yindra: Rumor has it you have a younger brother in the music industry. Want to share contact info, Mister E?

LUCAS FRIAR takes the chair across from Eric, and from the (: expression on his face we can tell that he’s not going to be making this easy for the well-meaning counselor. He essentially answers all of his questions with non-answers, spinning the question or throwing it back in his direction.

Eric: Come on, Lucas. It doesn’t have to be difficult. What exactly have you been thinking for your future?

Lucas: What have you been thinking for your future, Mister Matthews?

Eric: I’m sorry?

Lucas: You know, social security is running out. I’m doomed for retirement, but you still have a chance and should consider your options.

Eric: I don’t --

Lucas: In fact, you could be contemplating retirement right now.

Eric: How old do you think I am?

Lucas: You know what, you’ve got a lot to think about. Let me just get out of your hair. Best of luck with this next phase in your life, sir. Save a little social security for the rest of us provided climate change doesn’t kill us first!

Lucas slides out of the seat, propelling himself through the doors before Eric can even register what just happened. He rubs his face, totally confused.

A couple other A class students follow after.

Darby: I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this thing, you know? Sarah is always telling me I’m just a follower, but the world needs followers too, doesn’t it? Who would become social media influencers if there was no one to influence?

Eric: It’s okay if you don’t want to pursue the arts.

Darby: I mean, but what am I going to do instead? Follow in the footsteps of my mom? I won’t survive veterinary school, Mister E. And you can only cure lung cancer once!

[ Haley takes the seat next. ]

Haley: All I know is I want to stay in New York.

Eric: Why’s that?

Haley: Well, Clarissa is staying here because she wants to go to Juilliard to study music. I think she wants to be an orchestra or general music teacher, which would be so good for her. She’s like, sweet and patient but also sassy, and kids will like that. But I don’t wanna go too far, because we’re best friends and we’ve never been that far apart.

Eric: Uh huh…

Haley: Also, I guess if I want to try and be an actress and stuff, this is the place to be.

Eric: Do you want to try and be an actress?

Haley: Yes. I mean… not particularly. Maybe? It just feels like I’ve been following the path for so long it would be a major disappointment to have gotten this far and end up not following it through. It kind of... [ a beat ] It kind of feels like my whole crush on Charlie thing. It’s like, if it doesn’t end with us eventually riding off into the sunset together, then what was the whole point? [ a beat, then panicked ] Oh, God. Do you think I’ve been running on false hope this entire time?

Eric: Well, I wouldn’t say that --

Haley: You’re right! You’re right, haha, I’m just jumping to the worst case scenario. I’m going to stick with my flower shop with Clarissa plan and wait for Charlie to finally come around and come buy flowers for me and it will all work out. Thanks, Mister Eric.

Eric: … you’re welcome.

What a mess. But that’s every check-in week. It’s somewhat of a relief when Zay Babineaux walks through the door next, Eric greeting him cheerfully at the prospect of actually having a calm, rational conversation with someone.

Although a little nervous, Zay does a good job of laying out his new plans to Eric. The counselor listens eagerly, nodding along and seemingly impressed with some of the bolder ideas he has for paths to pursue post-graduation. When he finishes with an exhale, Eric applauds his creativity and ambition. Of course, he supports him considering he knows how hardworking and talented he is, and it’s obvious that his heart and soul went into thinking about this.

But on the other hand… Eric is obligated to point out the lack of back-up planning. Zay clearly has a lot of drive and ambition, which is excellent, but in throwing his reservations out the window to redo his plans he might’ve thrown them too far. What if he discovers he doesn’t want to pursue the arts after all? What if those high-reaching conservatories he applied to don’t accept him?

Fair points, but a difficult conversation to have with someone already feeling overlooked and stuck. The commentary hits a nerve and Zay grows defensive, arguing that Eric didn’t have all this criticism to give Maya. In Maya’s defense, she had fourteen thousand alternate routes mapped out, but that’s not what is really bothering Zay.

And so, for the first time, Zay has his diva meltdown. As he goes on to say, this is just more of the same that he’s endured since the moment he showed up at AAA. They’ve chosen their favorites and who they plan to back, and that’s clearly never going to change. He’s never going to be good enough for them.

Eric frantically tries to assure him that isn’t the case, but Zay is already marching out of the office. Yet another victim of the pressure of check-in week. As the grungy bass beat floats in...

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Consideration” as performed by Rihanna & SZA || Performed by Zay Babineaux

It’s been a while since we got some classic R&B funk from Zay Babineaux, and the frustration that is finally bubbling over the surface is the perfect catalyst to bring it. Zay does Rihanna proud as he saunters through the halls, angrily spitting out the tune. He does some light freestyling as he goes, expertly dancing around other students as they pay him no attention walking to their next class.

Still overlooked. Will you ever respect me? No…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Charlie is on stage between run throughs, conversing with Haley and CLARISSA CRUZ. After some offhand conversation about how stressful the week is, during which Charlie is notably quiet, the girls claim they have to get changed before lunch. Each of them give him a quick hug.

While embracing Haley, Charlie seems to realize something. He’s hugging Haley -- and Clarissa -- because they’re friends. And no one is thinking anything of it. They bid him farewell, heading down the hall.

Charlie contemplates the matter as he finishes gathering his things. No one is watching his every move, calculating every single thing he does and trying to pick apart his motives. If that can be true for his friendship with them…

Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true. Riley enters the wings and stops as the girls are finishing up their hugs with him, observing curiously. It bothers her that he seems so completely comfortable with them and yet continues to act so weird with her. She chews her lip, frowning.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

By the time she’s made it to lunch with Maya and Isadora, Riley has made realizations of her own. In her mind, there is obviously something deeper to the whole weirdness between her and Charlie that she’s not in on. There’s a greater conspiracy at play, and she’s going to get to the bottom of it.

Isadora: Riley, you know I love a good mystery. But this… is crazy.

Maya: Yeah, what do you think you’re going to “uncover?” This is Charlie Gardner we’re talking about.

Isadora: I repeat. You’re being crazy.

Maya: The most shocking thing you’re going to end up finding out is that all his GAP fare is actually from Banana Republic.

Riley is adamant, though, and a little miffed that they’re not supporting her. Maya points out another truth to the situation.

Maya: Do you think maybe you’re… deflecting a bit? With everything that’s happening with your parents --

Isadora: What? What happened now?

Riley: No, no, that has nothing to do with this. This is a long game, okay? Charlie has been weird with me since the day I showed up at Triple A, you can’t deny that.

Maya shrugs, already losing interest. Riley goes on to highlight how uneven his relationship has been solely with her, and she feels she deserves answers. She’s fixed and figured out problems before, and she’s going to get to the bottom of this one.

Isadora and Maya exchange a look, opting to leave Riley be. She’s happier when she has a project anyway, and happiness is in short supply these days.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The techies are assembled in the back section, idly discussing the progression of check-in week. JADE BEAMON asks Nate how his meeting went, and he scoffs.

Nate: Easy. I could feed Mister E anything and he would’ve approved it. We all know they only really care about their superstar performers and their fast tracks to fame.

Doesn’t look like any of them are going to disagree. ASHER GARCIA mutters about not wanting to step into Eric’s office ever again, since every time they end up in there it leads to eventual disaster. DYLAN ORLANDO asks DAVE WILLIAMS if he’s thought about what he’s going to say in his meeting.

Dylan: Do you know what you want to do once you blow this popsicle stand?

Dave: There are popsicles here? Why am I only learning this now?!

Nate clarifies, meaning what does he want to do with his future. Dave pauses, thinking.

Dave: Might be nice to help combat the impending danger of climate change and issues with renewable resources by studying environmental sciences or maybe aeronautical space engineering in pursuit of space materials that could be used as new energy sources.

Jade: … oh?

Dave: Yeah. Ooh, or a rodeo clown!

The rest of them exchange content looks. There it is. Lucas arrives just as they’re moving past the nice moment, Nate turning the question on him and asking how his check-in went. Lucas scoffs, putting out an air of smugness as he claims he totally blew it off. Eric probably doesn’t even know what hit him after their meeting.

Whereas this sort of behavior from Lucas is usually brushed off, the pressure of the week (and well, the whole year) has worn patience thin. So rather than just rolling her eyes, Jade actually questions whether or not Lucas doing such a thing was a wise decision. Or a polite one, at that.

Lucas: Do you really care what the hell I do in my meeting with counselor Eric?

Jade: No, I’m only saying is being rude to someone who’s just trying to help guide you really something to be proud of?

Oh. There’s a tension to the techie brigade that hasn’t ever really been there before. Dylan clears his throat and tries to alleviate it, saying diplomatically that he doubts it’s a big deal. But Lucas isn’t used to his fellow techies stepping to him, least of all Jade, so he can’t let it go.

Lucas: Do you have a problem with me, Jade? Because if you are, you can just say it to my face.

Jade, defensively: I mean, I am, but to be fair you’re not really listening to anybody right now.

Nate whistles, grimacing. The conversation quickly escalates, Lucas trying to defend himself in a group that’s supposed to be non-confrontational while Jade -- and eventually, JEFF MONROE -- step up and argue against how bad his behavior has been this year. To be frank, it’s obnoxious, and more than that they’re concerned. They’re his friends, and he hasn’t been treating anybody much like friends as of late.

The frustration is valid and the intentions are good, but Lucas isn’t ready to be criticized. He deflects, feeling cornered and essentially hissing by telling them to back off before storming out.

Dylan and Asher immediately leap up to go after him, the former disappearing quickly but the latter not making it out before they come for him, too. Jeff points out that they’re not really helping with Lucas’s attitude when they back him up all the time.

Asher: Well, what am I supposed to do? Nothing?

Jade: No, but do you think you’re making anything better by just enabling his shitty behavior? I know you don’t -- you’ve told me you don’t. If you’re really his best friends, you could be doing more to combat it and make him… I don’t know, check himself.

Asher blinks, absorbing the blow from his other best friend. Knowing that she’s right, hating the fact that she is. Then he huffs, following the same pattern as Lucas.

Asher, sharply: Let me handle my own problems, alright?

Asher whips around, jogging after Lucas and Dylan. Jade shakes her head, exchanging an exasperated look with Jeff. Dave reaches forward and pats her on the shoulder.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Riley meets with Charlie at his locker, cheerfully greeting him and suggesting that the two of them partner together for their English assignment. Crazy, to still have other homework in the midst of all this chaos, but oh yeah, they’re also high school students. Charlie agrees, liking the prospect of working with Riley again even if he’s super stressed about everything else.

She accepts his agreement as commitment, happily telling him she’ll text him with ideas before flouncing off. She’s being a bit too peppy, even for Riley, but before Charlie can think on it too much he’s delivered an entirely new distraction.

Zay is marching down the hall, in a clearly worse mood than he normally lets show at school. Charlie frowns, jumping out to catch him from passing him by and pulling him back towards the lockers. He tries to get him to talk to him, asking what’s going on.

Zay recaps the gist of the meeting with Eric, getting worked up all over again. It’s obvious how deeply this hurt runs, regardless of how well he’s buried it down over the last three years. Charlie attempts to talk him down but he’s beyond that at the moment, totally emotionally overrun. So Charlie braves a different approach entirely, taking his shoulders and pulling him into a hug.

A hug. In the middle of the hallway. Where anybody can see. Zay tenses up at first, glancing around them with trained hesitation.

Zay: Charlie, man --

Charlie: It’s okay. [ a beat, softer ] It’s okay.

It’s okay, because he decided it’s okay. Charlie said it’s okay, and so it is. Zay hesitates for a moment longer before sinking into the embrace, actually gleaning comfort from it. Charlie closes his eyes, Zay tucking his head into his shoulder.

The rest of the school passes them by, not even giving them a second glance.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Angela is in the black box conversing with Harper, the two of them carrying on a rather pleasant conversation. When Angela asks about how she’s faring working with her admittedly stubborn boyfriend, Harper is spared from having to comment when Maya shows up early to class. She exchanges an enthusiastic hug with Angela, the latter commending her on her extensive and impressive future itinerary. Not that she had any doubts Maya would come correct.

When Angela shifts gears and quietly asks Maya about how she’s handling Katy’s relocation, she deflects and claims with diva levels of confidence that she’s fine. Unideal, but she’s trucking on regardless. Nothing to worry about here.

Other A class members begin to filter in, including Zay and Charlie. Zay catches the soft, fond exchange between Maya and Angela, another subtle reminder of the favoritism that has always existed in their class.

As Maya settles into her seat, she looks around before tapping Riley’s shoulder.

Maya: Where’s Izzy?

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Isadora is skipping performers lecture, wandering into the auditorium to try and catch the techies. If she’s having trouble finding an anchor elsewhere, then maybe a return to form is exactly what she needs.

She only finds four of them, Lucas, Dylan, and Asher still MIA. They’re hanging around on the stage, mood deflated and unusually quiet after their earlier conversation. Jade is focused on fixing a costume piece, but her hands are trembling as she works with the needle and thread.

Isadora’s arrival is a surprise to all of them, and she completely misreads the tone of the room. She makes a joke about how uncharacteristically grim they all are and it doesn’t go over well. Nate makes a backhanded comment about how she loves to just float back around to say hi whenever it’s convenient for her, and Jeff subtly seconds the notion by asking Isadora what she’s even doing there when she should be in class.

Isadora: Oh, so what, suddenly we’re all saints who never skip class? Didn’t realize how much could change in such a short amount of time.

Nate: Yeah. No kidding.

Isadora: … okay, what the hell is up with you guys?

Keeping it short and sweet, essentially, Lucas sucks. Isadora is like okay, tell me something I don’t know, but that doesn’t settle well with Jade.

Jade: Actually, Isa, you don’t know. Because you haven’t been here spending all year with him. You dropped him when you dropped the rest of us and haven’t had to deal with it since.

Whew, Jade is on fire today. Isadora blinks, wondering if all of them are seriously upset with her. She argues against dropping them, struggling to find a defense and stating once again that she didn’t completely drop tech.

Jeff: Okay. Sure.

Isadora: I didn’t. I told you guys, I’m doing both --

Jade: Are you? Really? Because I haven’t talked to you in like, months. You didn’t contribute any tech work to the last four weeks of performances, and we built all of the materials for Into the Woods on our own, including after someone destroyed it the first time around.

Isadora: Well, if you want to get pissed about that --

Jeff: You haven’t sat with us for lunch since the end of last year. You don’t participate in the group chat.

Nate: Which is dead anyway, considering everyone is in such a pissy mood with Lucas being a fucking demon since you totally dumped him for the spotlight.

Isadora snaps, growing defensive. She states she’s not going to take responsibility for Lucas’s horrible attitude, but she admittedly has trouble taking responsibility for her own faults too. Turns out pride runs just as deep in the techie brigade as it does in the performers, at least when they’re fracturing apart and no longer a united front.

Isadora: I tried to tell you all, I’m doing both --

Jade, harshly: No, you’re not, Isa! You’re not doing both! You dropped your tech responsibilities and you know it. [ choked up ] And you dropped our friendship too.

Isadora shakes her head, but no words come out to argue against her. Jade’s eyes are glossy, and she chews on her cheek to keep it together. Nate delivers the final blow, crossing his arms and scoffing.

Nate: Like mother, like daughter.

That’s one step too far. Isadora’s hurt flares to anger in an instant. She marches forward and steps up onto the acting block in front of Nate, putting her at the perfect height to land a resounding slap across his face.

There’s a second of silence, and then all hell breaks loose. Isadora seems to only recognize what she’s done as the heat of the moment passes, her emotion shifting to blank horror on her face. Jade jumps up to pull Nate away from her, attempting to make sure he’s okay until he shrugs out of her grasp in embarrassment.

In spite of everything that’s been said, it’s Dave -- normally cheery, oblivious Dave -- who ends the confrontation. He glares at Isadora over his shoulder as he jogs over to catch up with Nate.

Dave: What the hell are you still doing here?

The four of them storm out in a flurry, leaving Isadora standing alone on the acting block. The doors slam, and then she’s surrounded by the imposing silence of the auditorium. Alone on the stage, an island of isolation that she’s somehow created all by herself. No way to escape it.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Waving Through A Window” as performed by Dear Evan Hansen Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Isadora De La Cruz

Isadora starts the ode to feeling alone from her spot on the acting block, tiny against the vast setting of the empty auditorium. She spends the first verse trapped on it, seemingly struggling with how to dismount from the position she’s found herself in. Her Converse -- the same black ones that Lucas said were her favorite -- toe the line from stumbling off the edge, but she can’t bring herself to step off in any direction.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

As the number progresses, Isadora makes her way dazedly through the halls as classes are in session all around her. She’s on the outside looking in of every classroom, every social setting, separated by windows from her classmates.

She starts to pick up her pace as the bridge swells, ending up running down the hallway. Quiet settles for just a moment…

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

Until it explodes into the final third of the performance, Isadora giving the impassioned solo her all. A light snow is falling, sprinkling the scenery in frost. She’s spinning and dancing on the constraints of what used to be her and Lucas’s usual table, close ups of her Converse depicting that same risk of slipping right off the edge multiple times only to step back to safety at the last moment.

This time, the conceit of being on the outside looking in has been inverted. All around the windows looking into the courtyard, Isadora’s classmates and other AAA students glare at her through the glass as they fill in the background vocals. She can’t communicate with any of them, she can’t connect -- she’s simply on display, able to be ridiculed or criticized without any sense of how to get back to join them.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

As the song comes to an end, Isadora is back on the acting block. Out of breath, obviously emotional, staring down at the ground from where she stands only a couple of feet above it.

Still, she can’t bring herself to move, frozen with uncertainty.

INT. MINKUS HOME - NIGHT

Farkle is still working on his presentation, spread out on the dining room table. He’s working obsessively, unable to keep still as he researches details for his career trajectory and adds them to his poster board. Even while he’s thinking he’s moving, fingers tapping against his arms or shifting from foot to foot.

Either way, it’s an abrupt shift from how lethargic he’s been, which seems like a relief to JENNIFER MINKUS. She asks him how it’s going as she comes out for a quick snack before heading to bed, suggesting he not stay up too late. He waves off the concern, but his investment in the project is loud and clear.

Farkle: Everything else going on right now doesn’t matter. I’ve been stuck on -- and it’s all -- it’s meaningless. What matters is this. The dream. [ ripping something off the board without hesitation ] If I get this right, then everything else won’t matter.

A bit single-minded, but passionate. Passion is a good thing, so this is an improvement if anything. Jennifer gives him a quick kiss on the cheek that he lightly shrugs away from before she heads off, leaving him alone again.

Despite how much progress he’s making, the longer we stay with him the more obvious it is that he’s struggling. He has energy, that’s for sure, but it’s all over the place. He can hardly focus, restless and growing frustrated over nothing in particular.

He takes a second and covers his face, sliding his hands up and tugging at his hair as he exhales. Glancing forward, the spark of an idea glimmers in his eyes.

INT. MINKUS HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Rattles and bumps accompany a handful of pill bottles hitting the countertop. Farkle is digging through the family pill cabinet, searching for something in particular.

Finally, he finds it. A bottle specifically for ADHD, prescribed to Uri Minkus. He opens it and pops a couple of them, tossing everything back into the cabinet haphazardly.

Just has to get through the week. Just the week…

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Lucas is using his brick of a laptop again, room otherwise dark as he works. He’s got a few pamphlets on the bed next to him, and his browser has a dozen or so tabs open with different college sites.

He’s trying to actually take the future seriously, but it’s too much. His focus goes to key words on each page like “prestigious,” “well-rounded,” and “tuition.” The expectations and prices always feel far too high, making him frustrated.

Other words jump out to him too, none more intimidating than “passion.” College is for people who have ambition -- who have potential -- and Lucas knows he has neither.

But he knows this isn’t just going to go away. He switches back to his school email tab, a message open from Eric on screen. It mentions how poorly their first meeting went and requests that Lucas come in for another meeting as soon as possible so they can have a more constructive discussion.

Lucas scowls, slamming the computer shut. He pushes it off the bed along with the pamphlets, falling back onto his mattress. He yanks his blanket towards him and curls up towards the wall, hiding from it all.

Riley, pre-lap: You really don’t think we can do any better than that?

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley is picking away at her assignment as well, but she’s on the phone with Charlie as she works. They’re discussing their English assignment, and from the sound of it they’re not giving it very much effort considering everything else going on. Charlie suggests they keep it simple, but Riley makes a point of still insisting that they meet up after school sometime to work on it.

Charlie: Is it really that important to you?

Riley: … I just like to work face-to-face, that’s all. You know, collaborative communication.

Maya rolls her eyes from her spot on her bed. The conversation is interrupted when Cory raises his voice from the living room, making both girls  jump. Topanga matches his volume a second later, Maya sitting up and locking eyes with Riley.

Riley: I… gotta go.

Riley hangs up without further explanation. Before she can say anything Auggie arrives at her door, looking wide-eyed and concerned as to what is going on out there. He asks Riley what’s happening, and she quickly pulls him into the room out of trouble before rushing out to investigate herself.

Awkwardly, this leaves Maya with Auggie. She glances at him and gives him a tight smile, nodding a ‘sup at a loss of what to offer otherwise.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Riley leans around the doorway to the living room as Topanga and Cory escalate in their argument, obviously both impassioned over it. She can’t even find a time to jump in and try to break it up -- she doesn’t know where to begin.

It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem, however.

Cory: You can’t take them from me. You’ve already taken everything else. You can’t just decide you want to hit the reset button on your life and then take my son with you!

Topanga: Don’t be dramatic, Cory. I’ve told you exactly why but you’re refusing to listen -- the schools are far better upstate, and he’d have a far more stable lifestyle in a neighborhood that’s not the middle of Manhattan.

Cory: [ with a derisive laugh ] Stable? You’re talking about stable?

Topanga: Cory --

Cory: You’re the one who disrupted all of our lives in the first place! So don’t talk to me about stable, Topanga!

So that’s it, then. Topanga isn’t just removing herself from the equation of the Matthews family -- she intends to take Auggie with her. Riley is stunned, stepping into the room but not sure what to even say.

Topanga is done with the discussion anyway. She criticizes Cory’s theatrics again, pulling back on her coat and heading towards the door. She stops once she’s opened it, saying her last piece.

Topanga: I hope this won’t become a big thing. I am the litigator, remember. I think we know who would win a case.

This hits Cory hard. There’s silence in the room after she closes the door behind her, Riley watching her seemingly frozen father warily.

Riley: … dad?

And then it’s over. Cory collapses into a full break down, all of the emotion over the separation that he’s been trying to compartmentalize for the sake of everyone crashing down on him. Riley jogs over to help him and guides him towards the couch, doing her best to comfort him.

But it’s clear Riley doesn’t know how to deal with this development either. Her expression is blank as she hugs her father, totally forgetting about everything else piling up on her plate.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Isadora is in the seat across from Eric, finishing up her discussion about the future. Although she does an excellent job of maintaining a poker face, the conversation between the two of them seems to reflect everything else she’s feeling conflicted about -- where she ends up depends on what she wants to do, and what she wants to do depends on who she is, and how does she begin to figure out who she is when she feels like she’s being pulled in a hundred different directions?

There’s a lot she could choose to dissect about the situation, but Isadora chooses to seek help for none of it. She merely nods along to Eric’s tentative guidance about her choice in schools, but she makes an escape when he tries to get her to talk about what else might be going on. The aloof mask might be fooling others, but it doesn’t fool him.

Today seems to be a particularly difficult day for meetings. SARAH CARLSON acts nonchalant in her one-on-one before bursting into tears, surprising Eric and causing him to cautiously pass the tissue box across the desk. Jade is already on thin ice emotionally and basically refuses to talk at all, speaking only about her future college programs for costuming. Her voice warbles even in discussing that, and Eric is sure if he asks her anything else there will be waterworks.

Dylan is a mess all his own, but more for Eric than himself. All things considered, Dylan is actually quite well-adjusted and happy with his plan for the future -- which is to say, he hardly has a plan at all.

Dylan: I might go to college, but also I don’t know. Seems like a lot of money, especially when I don’t really wanna do anything, you know?

Eric: … what are you hoping to do in the future, then?

Dylan, excitedly: Well, the main thing is to be a good partner, father, and homemaker. My dad had to do that all on his own when my mom died, you know, so he instilled the importance in me from an early age. Then I guess if I have time, I’ll keep making my videos. You’ve seen my vlogs, right? [ with a shrug ] As long as that keeps being fun, I figure I can do that along with being Asher’s number one fan.

Eric: … and you don’t… Dylan, I’m just wondering if… [ quickly ] you’re banking your entire future on Asher, and you don’t think maybe that’s a bit short-sighted?

Dylan: Actually, I’m near-sighted. But I wear contacts.

Eric looks as though he’s going to start crying.

He’s still carrying that exhaustion when Farkle gets in the hot seat, expressing far more “vision” than Dylan. He bullets through his presentation, speaking with confidence but also as if he’s out of breath. He’ll start sentences and then stop them or backtrack to start a different thought, nervously pulling at his hair when he gets distracted.

Once he’s finished, Eric offers him a bright smile. It’s a great plan, lots of ambition and forward-thinking, and he loves to see that. Farkle also clearly put a lot of heart into it, and Eric commends that. The future certainly isn’t worth investing in if there’s no heart.

However… he has to point out the fact that he lacks alternative options. He’s set himself up to have one path, and it’s clear that Eric is concerned about what happens if that path doesn’t work out exactly as planned.

Farkle, blankly: … what?

Eric: Again, I’m not saying that this isn’t an excellent plan. It just lacks periphery, that’s all. You want a contingency plan -- your options that you’ll consider if this one-way ticket doesn’t go as planned.

Farkle: I don’t -- this is the plan. This. There’s nothing else if -- I put a lot of hard work into this.

Eric: I know that, and I’m not saying this won’t work. I’m only suggesting that --

Farkle: I put everything into this. Everything. It’s going to -- you can’t tell me that it -- this is my future!

Eric can tell he’s not taking the conversation well. He attempts to placate, speaking delicately and stating that he’s proud that Farkle has such a sense of belief in what he was meant to do. Many people don’t have that drive, and that’s amazing. But it’s only wise to consider a contingency plan in the off chance that the dream… remains a dream.

Farkle seems as though he might actually have another diva meltdown, it’s written all over his face -- when suddenly he goes completely calm. He thanks Eric for his guidance shortly, gathering his things in a flurry. Eric encourages him to sit back down so they can discuss those options, but he claims he’s heard everything he needs to hear.

Farkle: My future is clear to me now, Mister Matthews. Thank you for your time.

He delivers the sentiment with disarmingly cool confidence. Then he spins on his heel and exits without another word. Eric looks like he’s going to go after him, but a phone call pulls him back to his desk. He assures the teacher on the other line that he’ll be right there, obviously having to go put out another fire.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Farkle walks at a swift pace away from the counselor’s office, but he doesn’t seem to have a set direction. Whereas his facade held up in front of Eric it’s starting to splinter now, his body trembling and breathing shallow. He dumps his presentation materials in the trash without looking, clearly desperate to be rid of them.

Haley: Don’t throw another tantrum.

Haley is just the first voice to address him, Farkle glancing over his shoulder as she passes him. But the glimpse of her is blurry, like it’s just out of the corner of his eye.

Charlie: Guess this isn’t turning out like you thought, huh?

Yindra: Only got yourself to blame that you’re unstable.

Harper: You’re nothing new.

Farkle flinches with every word thrown in his direction. He spins to try and catch them digging at him but whenever he turns to look they’re long gone, evading his anxious glare.

He walks faster, more sentiments from his classmates that have echoed in his head for three years following him through the hall.

Maya: Coward.

Farkle whips around as he slams right into someone -- Maya herself. She tosses him a sneer and tells him to watch where he’s going, only her expression shifts when she gets a better look at him. She hesitates, venturing another word.

Maya: Farkle… are you okay?

Farkle: I -- I’m --

He stares at her, as if just realizing she’s actually there. Then he pushes past her without further comment, jogging towards the auditorium. Maya spins to watch him take off, debating whether or not she should go after him.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The accusations and voices are growing louder, what feels like the entire A class waiting for him in the auditorium as he stumbles in through the wings.

Lucas: Go on, keep spiraling for attention.

Isadora: As if he has a shred of decorum not to.

Clarissa: Hasn’t he had enough drama for a lifetime?

The word “enough” seems to echo particularly strong, leaving a ringing in Farkle’s ears. The jeers continue from all around him, spinning him into a frenzy.

Lila: God, you are such a disease.

Eric: Did you really think that this was going to work out? After --

Riley: Everything you’ve done?

Farkle, breathless: No… no, you forgave me.

Riley: And you think that makes a difference? You think that’s enough?

Farkle screws his eyes shut, turning away from her. He covers his ears but it doesn’t do any good, only accenting the blood pounding in his ears.

Harper: That horrible attitude of yours isn’t --

Farkle: Enough --

Stuart: And when are you going to start thinking seriously about --

Eric: Your future?

Lila: If you’re going just going to waste your existence --

Riley: Running your mouth --

Maya: Consumed with inferiority --

Angela: Do you remember what I told you, Farkle?

Jennifer: I’m sure your friends are --

Maya: Done.

Farkle: Enough --

Asher / Dylan: You don’t even know who you are!

Lucas: Should’ve known this is exactly how things would go.

Stuart: A fad.

Angela: Otherwise it’s just --

Eric: Lacks periphery --

Isadora: Fucking isolated --

Maya: Monster --

Zay: Is it finally --

Farkle: ENOUGH!

His fraught exclamation clears the chaos until there’s nothing but silence, resounding and somehow more imposing than the constant sound. Because it leaves him alone -- and he’s so tired of being alone.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Santa Fe” as performed by Newsies Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Farkle Minkus (starting at 00:22)

Farkle stands center stage, trembling, staring out into the empty house. Standing in the place he’s always felt destined to occupy, only now it doesn’t feel like he belongs there anymore. It’s a dream, nothing more, and he’s a nothing never meant to get it right.

It’s this cold realization that provokes the rawest and most spectacular performance from Farkle Minkus. As he barrels through the desperate plea to escape, it's as though we’re watching him go through the five stages of grief towards the dream that he let totally consume him for as long as he can remember.

And what it leaves behind is a broken shell -- without the dream, he decides, he’s nothing. Empty. “Trapped where there ain’t no future, even at sixteen.”

By the time he makes it to the last few lines and the volume drops to a soft piano, Farkle is back at center stage, right under the spotlight. His eyes are shining in the lights, seeming more fragile and smaller than he’s ever seemed before. As he riles himself back into the final emotional crescendo, he drops to his knees and expels everything he has left in him into those final notes.

Then he collapses in on himself, a huddled form isolated under the spotlight and otherwise surrounded by darkness. The song ends, sending us back into the quiet of the auditorium.

The only sound is Farkle’s muffled sobs, shoulders shaking as the screen smashes to black.

INT. GARDNER HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Charlie is still working on his assignment, drawing a blank as his notebook page is completely empty. How is he supposed to paint a picture of his future when he can barely paint an accurate picture of the present?

He straightens up when his father enters the room, exchanging a comfortable back and forth with him as he settles into the armchair a few feet away and opens the newspaper to read. Charlie hesitates, chewing on the end of his pen before he braves the question of asking Ambrose for advice on his assignment.  

Charlie: I know we already talked about it at dinner the other night, but I’m… I’m still having trouble. I was just wondering if you had any other thoughts or... words of fatherly wisdom?

Ambrose: Well, it’s funny that you think fatherhood comes with wisdom.

Charlie cracks a smile as Ambrose chuckles at his own joke. Then he gives it some thought, clearly taking the matter seriously. It’s easier to talk about it, just the two of them, rather than with the whole family.

Ambrose: Honestly, bud, I think that the most important thing is you choose what makes you happy. You don’t want to spend your whole life doing something that doesn’t feel true to you. Do you know what I mean?

Charlie, tightly: … yeah, I do.

Ambrose gives him a smile, going back to his paper. Charlie drops his head back down to his notebook, expression growing grim. His own father doesn’t even know what’s true to him. If that’s the key to a good future, then he knows he’s damned.

Charlie swallows hard, shutting the notebook.

INT. FOSTER HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Isadora is at the sink, doing dishes for the house even though she clearly would rather be out of sight and out of mind. She’s gritting her teeth as she cleans, on edge from all of the pressure of the week.

STEPHEN VAN HERSCHING brings in the last of the dishes, giving her a grateful smile as he passes them to her. In an attempt to be an attentive parent and work on repairing his relationship with Isadora that seems to have been deteriorating lately, he innocently ventures the question of how school is going. She answers shortly, explaining the gist of the week.

Stephen is interested, eagerly inquiring as to what she’s been thinking about. Only he doesn’t phrase it all that well, and it comes off more like an interrogation than soft interest. Isadora doesn’t keep her mask intact after holding it up all day, snapping.

Isadora: I don’t know, okay! I! DON’T! KNOW!

She starts to go into a meltdown, trying to escape the conversation as KAREN VAN HERSCHING enters the room to see what all the commotion is about. She incidentally also criticizes Isadora for her noise level, stating that she’ll wake her younger siblings. The whole argument turns into a huge miscommunication, the foster parents mistaking her emotion and meltdown for increasingly rude behavior whereas Isadora just really needs space.

It continues to escalate until JERICHO TORRES sees what is going on and runs to get BEATRIX TORRES. She steps in and pulls Isadora out of the situation, flatly telling the Van Herschings that she’ll handle it.

Isadora: I don’t need to be handled! Stop talking about me like I’m not here! I’m here! I’m here! I’m not invisible, I’M HERE!

Beatrix doesn’t take it personally, persisting in removing her from the room. Karen and Stephen share a loaded look.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley has forgone the future entirely and is throwing herself into her new investigation. She scours through Charlie’s social media, currently on Instagram and scrolling way back into last year to look for any sort of indication as to what’s really going on with him. She knows for a fact that he’s all about promoting false narratives, but she doesn’t see where that involves her or when the lines are drawn.

Unfortunately, she makes the cardinal error of lurking. She accidentally double-taps and likes a photo from last year, letting out a loud oh, shit as she frantically unlikes it.

INT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

That doesn’t stop Charlie from getting the notification, though. He’s just getting ready for bed when his phone lights up, displaying that Riley liked his photo. He frowns, opening the app and checking which photo she liked.

It’s a photo from around the time of Les Miserables, so a long way back. Even more concerning, it’s a photo of him and Zay during the phase where they were spending a lot of time together. Riley lurking is confusing enough, but someone zeroing in on him and Zay in particular…

Eric, pre-lap: Why do you think that is?

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Charlie is staring at the desk, seated across from Eric. He’s startled out of his daze, blinking and coming back down to Earth.

Charlie: What?

Eric: You said you were having trouble figuring out your plans. I asked why you thought that might be.

Charlie: Oh. Um, probably just the uncertainty of it. Lots to um… consider.

Charlie is not doing a good job of appearing in top shape like usual. Eric pauses, cautiously shifting gears and attempting to question if there’s anything else going on that Charlie wants to discuss. He mentions a couple of other issues his fellow students have been having in vague terms, gently finding ways to allude to possible identity issues that he might be having. He can remember being in the closet himself, and he evidently wants to help Charlie even if he’s not sure how to go about it.

Evidently, it doesn’t come across as intended. Charlie gets the message, but it only instills more paranoia in him that people are onto him. Riley and Eric are connected after all, and if they know, who else is going to end up in the know?

Eric tries to smooth things over and focus on the positive, highlighting how when Charlie graduates he’ll find a sense of personal freedom and maybe the future won’t seem so complicated to figure out. But with his anxiety, all Charlie can focus on is the here and now, and right now he knows he needs to escape. He thanks Eric for his help, getting up to go.

Flipping back to Eric, he poses a new question.

Eric: You’re absolutely sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?

As we rotate back around, it’s no longer Charlie in the hot seat, but Asher. He’s maintaining his composure, voice even and expression neutral as he confirms that he has nothing to discuss.

But Eric has had Asher as a student for three years, just like the rest of them, and he knows tells when he sees them. Asher might be shy, and has anxiety, but he’s cheery and pleasant more often than not. Usually when he’s in the chair opposite him, the conversation is enjoyable -- far from the strained, succinct exchange they’re having now.

When he rephrases the question, Asher states that he did the assignment and presented it, so he doesn’t know what else he’s expected to be discussing. In fact, he gives him the short version again, speaking slowly and clearly without tripping up once. Rehearsed, practically perfect. Eric relents, but he gives him a piece of advice before he goes that lands.

Eric: You’re well aware of your own limitations and needs, I know that. You demonstrate immense maturity, outshining many of your peers in that regard despite being younger. And you’ve never been trouble -- in fact you’ve helped prevent trouble on a number of occasions. That doesn’t go unnoticed. [ a beat ] I merely suggest that avoiding trouble doesn’t have to mean staying quiet. If you have something you think you need to say, then by all means, you should speak up. In fact, it may do more good than the harm you think it will.

For the first time all meeting, Asher’s neutral demeanor cracks. Uncertainty flashes across his features for half a second, then he pulls it back together and offers a nod.

Asher: Thanks, Mister Matthews. I’ll think about it.

Whether or not he actually will is impossible to tell.

A couple other students occupy the chair opposite him, Eric growing more flustered as they progress. It all culminates with Lucas’s second meeting, and he’s changed his approach from avoiding the topic entirely to going absolutely batshit with his proposals. He’s totally in his element too, acting like he owns the place. He’s got his feet up on the desk, arms behind his head and speaking with a breezy nonchalance.

Lucas: I looked into “space cowboy,” but as it turns out you need a degree in aerospace engineering as well as a license to boy cows, and that seems like a lot of work. So then I thought, well, if I don’t have the capacity to work, what else is there in this capitalistic hell we call society? Sure, I could probably enter myself in human cage fights and scrap to death for spare change, but I think that would hurt after a while and to be honest, I think I’d feel a bit like a piece of meat if I took up that mantle. Who would I be fighting to impress? The bourgeoisie? Hard pass.

Eric: I --

Lucas: But after some deep, probing soul-searching, I finally hit the one. [ a beat ] Trophy husband.

Eric: That --

Lucas: Now, I know what you’re thinking. To accomplish such a grand ambition, I’d have to get someone to like me. And that’s a pretty hefty task, believe me I know, but I’ve devised a work around. This is, as Dave would say, galaxy-brained thinking, Mister E. [ holding out his arms ] I’m going to put an ad on Craigslist.

He’s finally done it -- Eric Matthews is at a loss for words. He’s completely stumped as to where to take this conversation, as Lucas has driven it right off the cliffside and effectively derailed any meaningful discussion.

Lucas: My only trouble is that I cannot decide whether I should advertise myself as “seeking companionship,” or if I should just forgo that entirely and tell it like it is -- that I really don’t have anything to offer and I’ll pretty much do whatever as long as they pay me. But does that make me sound trampy? I’m white trash, yeah, but I do have standards, you know?

As much as he’s enjoying giving Eric an ulcer, Lucas’s fun comes to an end the moment the door opens behind him. His eyes widen as JACK HUNTER enters, immediately glaring at him with his feet up looking so high and mighty. He snaps at him for wasting all of their time, knocking his legs off the desk.

Jack: And get your feet off the table, who do you think you are?

Lucas: [ straightening up, sheepish ] I thought this meeting was a one-on-one.

Jack: It was. But you had your first chance, and as far as I can tell it looks like you’re fumbling this one too. So here we are, third time’s the charm. Don’t strike out.

Jack crosses his arms, standing next to Eric and watching as the counselor tentatively attempts to explain to Lucas that he brought him in because he was having difficulty getting an honest conversation out of him. He thought if he had another mentor present, he might be willing to take the discussion more seriously.

Lucas: [ under his breath ] Don’t flatter him.

Jack: Well, either way, I’m here. So let’s talk, shall we? Do you want to talk about why you’re insisting on being such a --

Eric: Thoughtful words, thoughtful words…

Jack: … why you’re making things so difficult for no reason, or do you just wanna jump right to the part where we try again?

Bravado dismantled, Lucas gets bristly as Jack forces him to actually consider his options for the future. With actual pressure to deliver, the issue becomes plain as day pretty quickly -- Lucas doesn’t want to think about the future because as far as he’s concerned…

Lucas, snapping: What do you want me to say? I don’t have any plans! [ cracking ] I have no talent and I have no drive, so what’s the fucking point? You want my future? Great, here it is -- I don’t have one!

Lucas jumps to his feet, knocking over a bunch of stuff before storming out. Eric flinches, obviously reaching an emotional breaking point himself this week. Jack frowns, clambering over the stuff on the floor to call after him.

Jack: Lucas! LUCAS JAMES!

He’s long gone. Jack turns to look at Eric over his shoulder, shaking his head in disbelief.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Loser” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Asher Garcia & Dylan Orlando (feat. AAA Juniors)

Lucas storms down the hall, passing right by Dylan leaning against the wall. He’s strumming the guitar opening to the number, only he doesn’t quite… look like himself. The discrepancy is in how he’s dressed, sporting a lot of dark hues for the kid who wears bright yellow at any given opportunity.

As the camera pans away from him, it slowly finds its way to Asher. He’s following the performance dress code, dressed completely unlike himself in dark jeans and a grungy long sleeve crew neck. However, it’s the snapback that gives it away -- they’re both channeling Lucas, some sort of weird representation of him rather than actually themselves.

Asher kicks off the song, Dylan sauntering up still playing his guitar as they stride through the halls. They both look directly at the camera, the breaking of the fourth wall creating a pointed discomforting feeling. They look away at the end of the first verse, turning to face one another with the same sullen expressions on their faces. Dave and Nate join them, dressed similarly, Dave delivering the “yo,” before they launch into the rest of the song.

From there, the general conceit of the number becomes crystal clear. Wherever Lucas is -- in class, in the booth, walking through the halls, the crew of them are right behind him echoing the same exhausted sentiment. He can’t escape it no matter where he goes, and as the song progresses, more and more of his classmates join the throng. I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me? Why don’t you kill me?!

In the bridge, as the music seems to play backwards and in warped tones, the image of the A class becomes warped as well. They’re seated along the edge of the stage, looking towards the booth, but it’s all jarring close ups and looped moments. It’s familiar, but it’s not reality. A representation of how easily someone’s perspective can be bent...

Back in the hallway, there’s one potential light moment of reprieve, when Dave seems to forget the message and changes into more positive thinking (“I’m a driver, I’m a winner,”). But Lucas glares at him, then shoves him out of frame.

By the end of the song, what feels like the entire student body of AAA is marching behind Lucas as he moves through the halls, a resounding chorus asking why no one will kill them.

It only comes to an end when Lucas finally snaps, whipping around and shouting at them.

Lucas: Oh my God, could you SHUT. UP?

Only when he spins and marches away, Dylan, Asher, and the rest of them aren’t there. The hallway is completely empty.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas isn’t the only one who feels like he’s losing his mind. Charlie is on edge as he makes his way through the halls, nearly bumping into people and apologizing offhandedly.

Zay is waiting for him by his locker, noticing his odd demeanor immediately. He straightens up and asks what’s going on and if he’s okay, but Charlie isn’t focused on that.

Charlie: What are you doing here? You can’t just stand at my locker.

The statement isn’t said harshly (distractedly would be a better descriptor), but it still stings. Zay tries not to take it personally, instead trying to figure out what the hell is up with him. Charlie is over it a second later anyway, starting half of a conversation while glancing over his shoulder. He spins his locker combination but doesn’t open it, hands shaking.

Zay takes his upper arm and gets him to look at him, asking again if everything is okay. Charlie hesitates, examining him and trying to decide whether to talk about any of it. But he knows Zay is already having a rough week, and he doesn’t want to burden him with his stupid bullshit that he still hasn’t been able to get over after eight months. He’s already being unfair to him and he knows it, not to mention he fears that if he starts opening up, he won’t be able to stop.

So he deflects instead, claiming everything is fine despite every obvious sign that it isn’t. Distracted and without thinking, he leans forward and gives Zay a kiss on the cheek before jogging off to get away.

Zay is stunned, freezing and absorbing the moment. He looks around them to make sure no one else noticed, then looks over his shoulder with a bewildered frown at the direction Charlie ran in. But he’s already long gone.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - DAY

Charlie darts into the dressing room hall, running right into Clarissa and Haley. They greet him, asking him how his meeting with Eric went. Clarissa notices his weird behavior first, pointing out that he’s sweating. They ask him if he’s okay and he breathlessly states he’s fine, although his delivery is not convincing.

Haley: Are you sure? You look kind of pale.

Clarissa: We can walk you to the nurse?

Haley: Or we can talk about --

Charlie: I can’t. I can’t talk -- I can’t talk right now. I’m sorry, I have to --

Charlie darts away from them, pushing deeper into the auditorium. Clarissa and Haley exchange hesitant looks, obviously wondering if they should go after him or leave him be. This week has everyone in hysterics, after all.

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Charlie doesn’t find sanctuary until he gets to the costume loft, relieved to find that no one else is around. He lets out a painful exhale and stumbles onto the platform, legs shaking so much that he basically collapses into a pile of costumes. He starts to push himself back up but then pauses, giving up and laying back against them in defeat.

He presses his palms to his eyes, trying to talk himself down from the panic. The words start as variations on telling himself to breathe and transform into a prayer, Charlie murmuring a plea for God to be with him before repeating a Bible verse he’s got memorized like the back of his hand. He continues to mutter it to himself, until he can breathe and the room stops spinning.

When he finally pulls his hands back from his face, Charlie stares listlessly at the ceiling. Wondering how he ended up like this, fearing that it’s always going to be this way.

That he’s never going to be able to properly breathe again.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Exhale” as performed by Sabrina Carpenter || Performed by Charlie Gardner

Whereas the other performances of the episode have been surprisingly grand and a bit of a spectacle, the power of this request for a reprieve is in its simplicity. There’s no fanfare, no blurred lines between what’s real and what is not, just Charlie and his soft tenor and his sheer, utter exhaustion.

The entire first verse and chorus stay solely on Charlie, slowly easing out of a close up until we’re further and further away from him, making him feel smaller than he is. The second verse takes us back into the darkened auditorium, Charlie walking behind the back curtain along the wall where all of the Class 2 x 4s are.

Every year, the freshman class adds their plank of wood to the wall, signing with their initials. It’s an AAA tradition, and it’s what Charlie focuses on as he wanders aimlessly. On “try to keep a sense of knowing who I am,” he lightly brushes his fingers over his own initials from two and a half years ago. His expression twists as he sings “I try to be an angel but I don’t think I can,” holding back tears as he slouches back against the wall to finish the verse.

He rounds out the number back in the costume loft, managing to push himself into a sitting position and propping his elbows on his knees. He forces himself to breathe as he finishes out the song, then puts his head against his knees and shuts out everything else.

Breathing, for just one second, as if that’ll be enough.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas is at his locker, a storm brewing behind his eyes. Riley spots him from down the hall and jogs over to join him, seemingly happy to see him. She starts talking to him eagerly, lamenting how crazy the week has been and how relieved she is that it’s almost over.

Searching for a safe place to vent, she almost starts talking about her parents given how that has been weighing on her all week as well, but unfortunately Lucas is far from stable ground right now. He interrupts her, voice dull.

Lucas: Why are you talking to me?

Riley: … because I -- I thought we talked about this. I thought when we talked during group week --

Lucas: Well you thought wrong. You’re wasting your time, and I’m wasting everybody else’s, so don’t bother.

Riley: … what are you talking about? Lucas --

Lucas: Riley, I...

He locks eyes with her, the sentiment hanging unfinished between them. She holds his gaze, wide-eyed, waiting for him to speak.

One step forward, two steps back. Whatever he might’ve said, he chooses not to, too embroiled in the chorus of negativity echoing in his own head. Riley could do much better than him, he knows, so it’s about time she realized it too.

Lucas, half-heartedly: Just leave me alone.

He shuts his locker, marching away from her. Riley stares after him, completely dumbstruck.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Zay is in the auditorium, looking for Charlie. He happens to run into someone else on the hunt, Angela entering through the wings and greeting him. She questions whether or not he’s seen Farkle, as she has been trying to catch him all week and seems to be constantly missing him. Zay claims he hasn’t.

Whereas it seems like he wants there to be more to say, Angela thanks him and starts heading out. There’s a moment where it seems like Zay might just swallow the dismissal, like he always does, but this time something in him snaps.

Zay: Don’t you have anything you’d like to say to me?

Angela whips around, a bit surprised. She pleasantly asks if there’s something he wants to talk about, which seems to frustrate him more. At first he brushes off the question, but then doubles back and states that there is. That there’s a toxic, broken culture here at AAA, and in some ways it's her fault.

This kind of declaration is unusual coming from Zay, and Angela is understandably taken aback. She tries to defend herself but he doesn’t let her interject, growing more worked up the more he gets to speak. He laments the fact that this school is so built on favorites, and Angela has been feeding that culture since day one. She’s still doing it, making a point of enthusiastically greeting Maya and making special time to catch up with Farkle while saying fuck all to the rest of them.

Zay: Don’t you think that I might want to catch up with the teacher who was supposed to have been fostering my talent for two years? Don’t you think Yindra, or Nigel, or Haley or literally anybody else other than the Diva Twins might want a scrap of your attention?

Angela: Zay, I fully believe that all of you --

Zay: It’s easy to say you believe in someone, Miss Moore. Showing up for them is a different story. [ a beat ] And you chose who you’re backing from the first time we set foot on this stage.

He says his piece, storming past her. Angela absorbs the blow, knowing that the emotion is somewhat misdirected but still feeling the sting. She stands alone on the stage, overcome with nostalgia and wondering if the impact she left behind was all that good after all.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Riley is at a limit of her own, breaking down in the chair across from Eric. This meeting has nothing to do with the future -- this is all about right now, and it’s clear that Riley is losing her ability to cope. Still, there’s nothing she hates more than crying in front of others, so she’s a sniffling, embarrassed mess as she laments the state of affairs. The tissue she’s gripping in her fist is less tissue and more so just shreds after so much crumpling and twisting.

She admits that she’s been using other people as her distraction, but the fact is she can’t keep running from it. Her life is in shambles, and now her family is legitimately falling apart. She’s been trying to keep things together, but whenever she gets one thing straightened out another just crashes out of nowhere and she can’t keep up with it. She can’t do it anymore.

Eric frowns, getting up from his desk. He pulls over the other chair against the wall, sitting next to her instead of separated behind administrator lines.

Eric: I’m swapping hats for a second here. Counselor out, uncle in. I’m very versatile, I don’t know if you knew.

Riley can’t help but laugh, although it’s weak. Eric goes on to say that he genuinely can imagine how she’s feeling. This week in particular has been a challenge unlike anything he’s felt in a long time, and there are days where he wishes he didn’t have to come in and face it.

Eric: But, and I know this isn’t what you want to hear, the only thing I can say is to keep doing your best. Keep being compassionate, even when it’s hard.

Riley: How? I mean, how do you do that?

Eric, with a shrug: It’s the only thing I know how to do. I can’t imagine moving forward without it.

An honest confession, and something that seems to resonate with Riley. And if Eric is still going after all these years, then she supposes she’ll be able to as well. Somehow.

She dabs at her eyes, offering him a smile when he reaches out and pats her shoulder. A sorely needed moment of unity amidst all of the destruction.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

Asher and Dylan have followed Lucas into the tech booth, the latter still in a foul mood. Dylan is doing his usual approach of trying to lighten the mood and echoing Lucas’s derisive commentary about how stupid all of this is, but Asher is hanging back. He’s hesitant as Lucas collapses into the rolling chair, once again bluntly claiming that his future is shit anyway, so why should he even bother?

Asher, after a moment: Well, don’t you think that’s a bit self-defeatist?

[ The booth goes quiet. Lucas glances at him, obviously surprised he’s arguing the counterpoint. ]

Lucas: Huh?

[ More quiet. Asher glances at Dylan, who is staring at him, wondering what he’s going to do next. ]

Asher: I’m just saying. By deciding prematurely that you have no future, you’re sort of inherently guaranteeing that you won’t have one. Self-fulfilling prophecy, we learned about that in English.

Lucas: You think I pay attention to anything Matthews has to say?

Asher: [ with waning patience ] My point is that if you don’t take the time to really think about what you can do, then you’re right, you won’t do anything. And I think that would be a pretty big shame.

Lucas, with a snort: Please, tell me how you really feel.

There’s an odd tension in the air that’s never been there between the trio before. Or perhaps it has, growing more and more potent the longer they’ve elected to ignore it. The dismissive comment only exacerbates it, Asher frowning. He steps past Dylan and approaches the lighting board, standing face-to-face with Lucas.

Asher: You want me to tell you how I really feel?

Lucas: If you think you can.

Asher: Fine. [ dropping his bag on the table pointedly ] I think you’re being stupid.

Lucas scoffs, but Asher isn’t done. He elaborates, pointing out all of the ways that Lucas has been sabotaging himself this entire year when it feels as though things could improve even a fraction if he just cut it out. It’s an impressive catalogue of points, being delivered expertly from someone who has clearly been paying close attention and bottling it all up.

Asher: You’re being stupid about this assignment, when if you just took it seriously you might realize you could actually do lots of things with the right resources. That’s what Eric and Jack are there for.

Lucas: Yeah, well --

Asher: You’re being stupid about Riley, who has been nothing but nice to you despite you treating her like garbage.

Lucas, defensively: Don’t talk about her --

Dylan: [ with a nervous laugh ] Guys, come on --

Asher: And you’re being stupid about the way you treat everyone else, including people who just want what’s best for you. You keep pushing, and pushing, and it’s like you want the rubber band to finally snap. [ exasperated ] Look at that and tell me it’s not fucking stupid!

Lucas: Well, what do you expect? Who are you talking to?

Asher: That’s the worst part about it! That’s what’s so frustrating is that I know you’re not stupid, Lucas. I know that, but it’s like you don’t. Either that or you just don’t care, and I don’t know which one is worse!

The can of worms has been opened, and it’s not going to be put away so easily. Dylan attempts to deescalate the discussion but it just keeps spiraling, Lucas and Asher’s voices rising the more they go back and forth. Asher complains that all they’re trying to do is support him because that’s why they’re friends, and all he’s doing is rebuffing them. Lucas finally rises from his seat, glaring at him with at least his height dominance back intact.

Lucas: Oh, you wanna know why we’re friends? [ flatly ] It’s because you wanna fix me.

Asher: What the hell are you talking about?

Dylan: Guys --

Lucas: Come on, we both know it’s true. You’re the reasonable one, put together and perfect, and I’m the trainwreck. It’s great, too, because it’s like a double win. I get you to do all this crazy and ridiculous stuff, and for five seconds you feel cool. Then you get to go home to your perfect house and your perfect family and forget about it, until the next time you want to let loose. I make you feel good about yourself.

Dylan: Hey, seriously --

Asher: Is that seriously what you think?

Lucas: [ mockingly ] It’s what I know! I am just like the most fascinating little mess for you to tidy up, to placate to that incessant, neurotic need you have to put everything in perfect order. Only now I’m not doing it right, I’m not running right anymore, and isn’t it so annoying when your perfect little toy train won’t run off the tracks exactly the way you want it to.

Asher, voice cracking: I can’t believe --

Lucas: Well, I’m sorry, spaghetti! I’m sorry that you have to settle and deal with one thing in your life that isn’t absolutely fucking perfect!

Dylan, harshly: HEY!

Dylan has moved forward, nearly stepping between them and holding out a hand to keep Lucas back. It’s as if his presence snaps him out of it, Lucas staring at him and realizing just how intense the situation has become. Dylan is looking at him with wide eyes, his anger only lasting as long as it took to get them both to hold off and having faded to shock.

Asher’s expression is harder. He’s glaring at Lucas, eyes glassy, clenching his jaw. Lucas hesitates, clearly wanting to say something, but Asher moves before he can speak. He snatches his bag off the table, clutching it close as he marches to the steps and exits out of the booth without another word.

Dylan whips around and watches him leave, mouth hanging open slightly. Lucas stares after him, expression shifting to something like hurt, before he spins away from the door and crashes back into the chair. He stays facing away from Dylan, who is still standing frozen in the middle of the booth.

Lucas: Well? Aren’t you going to go after him?

There’s a pause. Dylan blinks, returning to a state of impressive calm in spite of the chaos. He shifts back towards Lucas, eyeing him sadly.

Dylan: Yes. But I want to make sure you’re okay, too.

Lucas: [ snorting ] Why?

Dylan: … because I know you don’t mean it. I don’t know what’s going on, but… I know you didn’t mean it.

Lucas can’t look at him. He chews the inside of his cheek, picking at a hangnail.

Dylan: We’re friends, Lucas. We care about you. Asher wasn’t lying about that. [ a beat ] And when you decide you want to do something about this, we’ll be there. When you need us... we’re going to be there for you. No matter what.

Lucas has picked at the hangnail badly enough to draw blood. Dylan doesn’t wait for a response, looking at him for a moment longer before descending down the steps and leaving him alone.

Lucas curses under his breath, hiding his head in his hands.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Maya’s phone lights up on the bed, Katy’s picture filling the screen. Maya enthusiastically moves away from her future moodboard and reaches to grab it, picking up and excitedly greeting her. They catch up on how Katy is settling in back home in Vermont, and Maya gives her the low down on how insane the week has been but how bright her future feels. She boldly assures her mom that she’s great when she asks, repeating how well the week went for her.

But that’s not what Katy is asking, really. She knows her daughter better than she knows herself, and she knows how good she is at deflecting. So when she questions once again is everything is really fine…

The walls come down. Maya chews her lip and tries not to let the tears fall but they do anyway, the facade crumbling as she lets out a shaky “no.” Then it’s spilling out of her, all of the things that are far from going right. How it feels like her entire class is imploding, how she’s willing to do whatever it takes for the dream but being cut throat has become exhausting, how no matter how obsessively she outlines her future she’s gripped by the fear that it isn’t going to pan out. That she’s going to be a failure, just like her father and like 90% of the people who walk the halls of Adams.

Most predominantly, more than any of that, she misses Farkle Minkus.

Maya, tearfully: I know I said I was done with him, I told him we were… but I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. He hurt me, and what I’ve always thought is that when someone hurts you, you get rid of them. That’s what we did with dad, basically. [ a beat ] But then… I don’t know.

Katy: Baby girl, few people in your life are going to hurt you like your dad did.

[ Maya scrunches her face, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. ]

Katy: I wish I had the right answer, but things like this are never going to be obvious. There will always be pros and cons to every decision. But from what you’re saying to me… it sounds like you don’t want to say goodbye quite yet.

Maya lets out another whimper, pressing her palm to her eyes. When she resurfaces, she lets out a sigh and shakes her head.

Maya, weakly: I wish you were here.

Honestly, don’t we all. Katy returns the sentiment, Maya settling back into the corner of her bed and staying on the phone with her mom for a while longer.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Riley and Charlie are working in the English classroom, the only two still around after school on Friday. Riley has lost her investigative fire after her conversation with Eric, treating the project as exactly what it is and nothing more.

For what it’s worth, this seems to loosen up some of the awkwardness between them. For once, they’re not both trying to pick apart one another’s every move. They actually work quite well together, diligently getting the work done and even exchanging some tired but entertaining banter while they go.

Once they declare they’re pretty close to finishing, Charlie claims he needs to go run and grab his dance duffle from the practice room where he left it. When he gets back, they should be able to wrap this thing up. Riley nods agreeably, focusing back on the final touches while he jogs out of the room.

The quiet is disrupted by Charlie’s phone, vibrating on the table top. Riley glances at it, but then forces herself to ignore it. She’s done snooping after all… only the contact name that lights up the screen catches her interest.

After a moment of indecision, Riley glances at the door before gently sliding the phone closer to her so she can read the lock screen. Over the saved background of Charlie with his younger sisters, a couple of messages from Zay sit unread on the screen.

“Hey couldn’t find you after school, you still here? you seemed a little out of it yesterday. hope everything is okay”

“Craziest thing happened with miss moore, i’ll tell you all about it. in the usual studio”

The last text message comes through as Riley is taking the phone into her hands, shock taking over her features as she reads it.

“Love you”

Riley is staring at the phone, speechless.

Charlie: What the hell are you doing?

She shoots her head up to find Charlie standing in the doorway with his duffle. He’s staring at her, mortified, and she’s mirroring his panicked expression to a tee.

Busted.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Zay glances up from his phone just in time to avoid ramming right into Harper. Both of them apologize, laughing off one another’s pleasantries. She asks if he has a second to talk, gesturing him into the black box.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Harper is calm as she explains that Angela told her about their confrontation on the stage. Zay jumps into defensive mode, claiming that he doesn’t regret what he said.

Harper: I understand, Zay. I agree with you.

Zay: Well, I -- oh. Oh, good. [ a beat ] Really?

Harper cracks a smile, sauntering back over to join him at the desks. She settles into sitting on top of one, admitting that she knows exactly what Zay is talking about and she thinks Angela knows it too. When she told her about what happened, she did not seem like she was denying her fault in the situation.

Realizing that this environment might be safer than he thought, Zay hesitates before really getting into what’s been needling him all week --and really, all year.

Zay: I just don’t get what else I’m supposed to do. It’s like, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to. I’m trying and I’m trying and giving everything I’ve got. And all I know is that when I went out there in the real world, when we put our stuff to the test, I came out on top. Kossal looked at all of us and chose me, I was identified as the top player.

Harper: Rightfully so, I’m sure.

Zay: I was the one worth acknowledging, worth accolading, worth… stepping up to be proud of. So how can that be true, but in every other way it’s the opposite? I’m still just shoved into the background?

Harper empathizes. She states she knows exactly what he’s talking about -- favoritism, especially in their industry, is as old as time itself. Not to mention the layers being a person of color adds to that struggle.

Harper: I recognize it, believe me. You work three times harder than everyone else, and no one respects it. You have to be ambitious and driven like the others, yet also be kind and well-liked and not ruffle any feathers.

Zay: Courtesy is the deadest art form at AAA, yes.

Harper: The unfortunate truth is, teachers aren’t perfect. [ off his eye roll, smirking ] Shocking, I know. But we make mistakes just as easily as students do, and unintentional favoritism is likely the most common offense. That has nothing to do with you, though, as you’ve clearly figured out.

She goes on to explain that the other unfortunate truth to an industry like theirs is that sometimes, even your very best is never enough. There are always factors you can’t control, people more talented or better connected than you, and a million reasons to write you off versus the handful of people will choose to acknowledge to uplift you. It’s not an easy world, as she’s sure he’s well aware.

Harper: I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but the truth is it all comes down to endurance. How long you can take it, how long you can stick it out until it ends up being your shot. The true test of who lives the dream is who hangs on… and who gives up.

Not all that inspiring, but honest. Zay evidently appreciates it as he nods, thanking her for taking the time to listen. Despite how rough the transition has been, he does think she’s a good teacher. The comment seems to resonate with Harper, who gives him a grateful smile.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Charlie breaks the ice first, dropping his duffle bag as he darts into the room. He snaps at Riley for looking through his things, snatching the phone out of her hands in a frenzy. She flinches, trying to regain her bearings on the situation. She stammers out an apology, Charlie turning away from her and reading the texts that she saw for herself.

Silence settles over the room again. Charlie stays turned away from her, no longer breathing. Riley slowly rises to her feet, not sure what to say next.

Riley: That… um. [ tentatively ] Are…  are you -- ?

Charlie: You can’t tell anyone.

Charlie whips around, locking eyes with her. His eyes are wide and he’s shaking again, already on the verge of another panic attack. Only this one is bound to be worse, because the looming fear that he’s going to be found out is now a very real threat.

Charlie: Riley, you can’t. You can’t tell anyone.

Riley: I wasn’t going to --

Charlie, hyperventilating: You can’t. Riley, you can’t. You can’t tell anyone, okay, you can’t -- !

Riley: Charlie. Charlie!

Riley reaches out and takes his arms, getting him to stop cold. She holds his terrified gaze, aware of how he’s literally shaking in her hands.

Riley, sincerely: I would never tell anyone.

There’s an excruciatingly tense moment between them, Charlie having to determine whether or not he believes her. Neither of them move, neither of them breathe. You could hear a pin drop.

Then he lets out an exhausted exhale, nodding and muttering an affirmation. He slips from her grasp, stepping around her and collapsing back into his seat at the desk. Riley stays where she is for a moment, attempting to process what the hell she just learned.

Once she catches up, she spins back to look at him with his face hidden in his hands. She lightly claims she knows what he’s going through -- well, not exactly, but being pansexual definitely gives her a sense of what he might be experiencing. She knows she was lucky to not have many factors keeping her from sharing that side of herself, and she’s sorry that he feels like he does.

Riley: I can’t imagine what that must be like, trying to hide such a big part of yourself. What you might feel like you have to do, like holding things back and… [ realizing ] controlling the narrative.

The Confessions posts. Suddenly, it feels glaringly obvious.

Charlie, under his breath: Fucked. It’s all fucked

Riley frowns sympathetically, cautiously sliding back into her seat next to him. She looks at him, searching for something to say that might be easier to discuss.

Riley: So… Zay?

Charlie takes a deep breath, still hiding in his hands. But after a moment, he nods. Riley smiles.

Riley: That’s great. Honestly, that’s amazing. It’s about time someone appreciated Zay for how wonderful he is. I guess I noticed he had been happier, actually, I just wasn’t sure… [ a beat ] How long?

Charlie lifts his head, inhaling slowly. When he speaks, although he’s backed off the ledge, his voice is shaky.

Charlie: Eight months. [ softer ] But feels like longer.

Riley’s eyes widen, stunned. That long and nobody knows… but on the other hand, it’s hard not to be endeared. It’s so obvious from how delicately he talks about it how much the relationship means to Charlie.

Charlie: I know it’s so stupid. All the stress I’m putting myself through.

Riley: It’s not stupid.

Charlie: It is. Like, maybe it’s not, but it is. I’m just still trying to… I’m not sure how this is supposed to work. It’s like I’ve got this one version of reality, where like… everything is in black and white. There’s good and there’s bad and there’s black and there’s white, and it’s my job to stay clearly on one side. And I do, I do a good job of it, and that’s why the show goes on. It’s not ideal, but it’s manageable. It’s what I know, and you can settle for what you know when you don’t know any different.

Riley listens attentively. Charlie is clearly working through these thoughts for the first time, hesitating and grimacing and stammering over the words. The next statement, however, he says with breathless certainty.

Charlie: Then, there’s Zay, and it’s like… we’re in technicolor. [ a beat ] How are you supposed to go back to settling for black and white when you’ve seen the rainbow?

Riley smiles again. Her voice is soft when she tells him that it’s going to work out, and he’s going to figure it out. When he questions how she can be so certain about that, she admits that she isn’t, but it’s kind of her thing, being hopeful. As someone important reminded her, it’s really all they have.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Rainbow” as performed by Kesha || Performed by Riley Matthews & Charlie Gardner

Riley starts off the duet tentatively, transitioning pretty smoothly from their conversation (“I used to live in the darkness / dressed in black act so heartless / but now I see that colors are everything”). She carries through the first verse, smiling lightly and encouraging Charlie to relax and allow himself a smile as well. In this moment, they’re safe. It’s okay.

Charlie picks up the second verse. He brings a little more emotion to the arrangement, clearly needing the catharsis of finally getting to be open for the first time in what feels like his entire life. The two of them pass the harmonies back and forth, performing well as a duo when the situation isn’t forced in some unidentifiable way. Finally both on the same page.

As the last verse wraps up, Riley reaches forward and takes his hand. They keep their fingers joined together straight through to the end, the camaraderie obviously a relief to Charlie.

Focus hangs on the hand hold, a symbol of coming together when it feels as though everything is falling apart.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Isadora swings by Eric’s office, poking her head in and a bit surprised to find him still around. When he greets her and asks what the expression on her face is for, she admits that she figured after the hell week they had, he’d be running off to escape for the weekend faster than anyone else. He certainly would’ve earned that right, at least.

Eric laughs, nodding in acquiescence. But he’s survived this week for years now at AAA, and he figures he’ll survive a handful more before retirement comes to free him. He turns the tables and gently asks Isadora how she’s feeling at the conclusion of this week -- he got the sense she wasn’t being entirely forthcoming during their structured meeting.

Isadora hesitates, then caves. She admits he’s correct, sauntering in and slowly settling into one of the chairs. He keeps the atmosphere casual, coming to lean against the front of his desk. She states that things aren’t going all that well at home, but she figures the social worker must’ve already passed that intel to him.

Eric: And the future?

Isadora: … honestly… I don’t know. I don’t even have right now worked out. I’ve been thinking about it all week, hoping that a clear path would just emerge. But instead I just fell down a lot of sinkholes instead.

Eric: Any injuries to report?

Isadora: Maybe internally. [ a beat ] But they’ll heal.

Eric: And so…

Isadora: And so… right now, I don’t know. Nigel said it was better to have lots of options rather than one or none at all, so I guess he’s right. As for which one is the right one… no idea.

Eric: And you know? That’s totally okay.

Eric goes on to state that the point of the week, despite its reputation, isn’t to get them to make definitive irreversible decisions about their prospects. It’s just to get them thinking about it, to get those wheels turning so that when that time does come around, hopefully they’ll already have a little bit of clarity.

Eric: And considering you’re Isadora De La Cruz, I am positive you’ll work it out.

Isadora accepts the compliment shyly, offering a small smile. Then she asks him how he’s faring. He had to carry everyone’s baggage even more than usual, and that can’t be fun. He seems touched by the fact that she’s asking at all, and he admits that he’s got some things going on in his own life that aren’t helping matters.

Isadora: Well, can I offer you some advice?

Eric, with a laugh: Sure.

Isadora: Whatever you’re struggling with, maybe it would help to get to talk about it with someone who can help, too. I feel better after coming in here and talking to you, so maybe you’ll feel better if you go and give yourself the same opportunity. If it’s with someone who can actually address the things you’re grappling with, even better.

Not bad advice. Eric jokes that maybe Isadora has a career in counseling in her future, which earns a snort out of her. She gets up and thanks him one last time, heading towards the door.

Eric: No… thank you.

Isadora nods, disappearing from the doorway. Eric takes a moment to breathe, glancing at the office around him. Having survived another week, for better or for worse.

INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY

Angela finds SHAWN HUNTER hidden away in his cramped office, the two of them exchanging jokes about how it’s typical for him to stay out of sight during check-in week. In his defense, he claims, his presence sometimes only adds stress. Angela can’t argue with that.

She comes to sit with him, settling casually onto his lap. She gently approaches the topic of what happened with Zay, and the conversation she had with Harper afterwards. She feels bad for having made their students feel that way, and she’s realizing that maybe the way the two of them approached working at AAA isn’t the only, or even the best, way to go about things.

Maybe, Angela concludes pointedly, it might be better to stop combatting the change and embrace it for what it’s worth. Harper might just surprise him. Shawn is reluctant simply due to embarrassment for his behavior, but Angela softens the blow by giving him a quick kiss.

Much to consider moving forward, that’s for sure.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay is in the studio as he said he would be, working hard as usual. Not yet spooked away from his passion, Harper’s talk with him giving him more perspective than acting as a deterrent.

Charlie finally makes it there, and this time it's his turn to hang in the doorway and watch Zay dance. He crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe, expression softening and a light smile blooming onto his face. It’s the most content he’s looked all week.

When Zay spins out of a dance step he spots him, expressing relief. He asks where he’s been -- he feels like he hasn’t seen him all day. Charlie apologizes, sauntering into the room and asking what happened with Angela that he wanted to tell him about. Zay pauses, then shrugs.

Zay: Nothing. It’s not important. Miss Burgess is pretty cool, though.

Charlie: Yeah?

Zay: Yeah. Nothing like Miss Moore, but maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.

Charlie shrugs. Seeing as they’ve come up on Friday, Zay playfully questions if Charlie has figured out his grand plans for the future. He shakes his head, clasping his hands together in front of him as he comes to stand in front of his boyfriend.

Charlie: I don’t think I can know what I’m going to be then until I like… know myself now. Or feel like I know myself more consistently than I do at the moment.

Gently, Charlie reaches for Zay’s hands. The latter hesitates, examining him curiously and well aware that they’re still in public school property despite how much this studio feels like their own safe haven. But Charlie seems comfortable with the gesture, dipping his head down to look at their joined hands.

Charlie also quietly informs him that Riley now knows, which is major news. Zay immediately asks how it went, how she reacted, but from Charlie’s calm demeanor he can only assume it didn’t go horribly. He confirms it, admitting that it wasn’t the end of the world. As for what that means for the future...

Charlie: I just hope that… I don’t know. I hope that when I get there, I’ll be… happy. Content, at least.

Zay, lightly teasing: Big ask.

Charlie: I know. Feels like it, but… [ locking eyes with him ] I know it’s possible. I know it when I feel it.

The subtext of the message goes without saying. Zay smiles, rubbing his thumbs over the back of his hands. Charlie takes it a step further, leaning forward and starting a soft kiss. It’s tentative, new for different reasons, like being in a place where potentially anybody could see. But it’s sweet and it lingers, Zay smiling when they pull apart.

Charlie presses his forehead against his, staying in the moment while he can. Holding onto the safety of this thing, this place right now, when the future remains wholly uncertain.

Eric, pre-lap: Thanks for being here with me.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric finishes filling a mug from his coffee maker. The cup is steaming as he hands it to Jack, who takes it with a tentative but grateful smile. He admits he’s surprised Eric invited him to come do their usual tradition of ending this hell week with one another, considering how… off things have been between them.

Eric acknowledges that, admitting that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about that. He starts to apologize but Jack beats him to it, murmuring about how he knows he shouldn’t have kept things from him. He does trust him, and he values him more than anything. There’s no one better at what he does -- this week alone is evident enough of that -- and he’s grateful that he’s there keeping the ship running with him. He regrets what he said to him, and hopes he’ll believe him when he says he’s sorry. He let his emotions get the best of him is all.

Eric, after a moment: Well, I’m not one to say that a little emotion is ever a bad thing.

And like that, the tension is gone. Jack smiles, taking a long sip of his coffee.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Lullaby” as performed by Sleeping At Last || Performed by AAA Juniors

The a capella humming of the junior class floats over the scene, underscoring the rest of the episode. It’s delicate, pretty, but the slightest bit haunting. Heavy with the context of the week.

Jack asks Eric how he thought the week went overall, in spite of the trainwreck he was there to witness himself. Eric shrugs, admitting that it’s always hard to tell. Talking about the future is never easy, and the additional uncertainty of this career path that they all think they might want doesn’t soften it.

Eric: I just hope that… I hope they realize this isn’t the end of the world. The future is so malleable, and it will take them in directions they don’t even know are options right now. I mean, look at me. I was just like them at this age. I thought I was going to be a star.

Jack, jokingly: [ behind his mug ] Still have the theatrics to prove it.

Eric gives him a look, but it melts into a smile after Jack shrugs pithily.

Eric: Did I ever think this was where I would end up? No. But life has a way of getting you where you’re supposed to be. [ looking at Jack ] And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Jack claims he’ll toast to that. The two of them clink their mugs together, taking a sip and settling into the quiet.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - AUGGIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Cory is tucking Auggie into bed, taking his time with it considering how the times he’ll get to do so are numbered. He gives him a kiss on the forehead, smiling when Auggie says something silly to him in response.

Riley leans against the doorframe, watching with a bittersweet smile on her face. Not wanting this to change…

INT. FOSTER HOME - NIGHT

Isadora grows tired with helping Jericho with his homework, excusing herself and skirting around her other siblings to escape to her room. Stephen and Karen watch her from the kitchen, exchanging knowing looks.

INT. GARCIA HOME - ASHER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Asher is seated on his bed, doing his practice of journaling down all the good things that happened, then writing down the bad and crumpling it up so he can metaphorically throw it away. But he’s already got a couple of paper balls littering the floor at his feet, and he’s tear-stained as he rips another page out and crumples it.

He gives up on all of it, letting the journal and the crumpled page fall off his lap and onto the floor. Dylan emerges from the window, slipping inside the room and coming to join him.

They don’t say anything. Dylan simply climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around him from behind, Asher closing his eyes. Dylan kisses his cheek, then his shoulder, tucking his head against it.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Alternatively, Lucas’s bedroom is cold and empty. His window is still open to the fire escape, letting in frigid February air.

EXT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He’s not on the fire escape either. Drifting upwards, we pass a few more floors until we find him, huddled up on the roof of the building by himself. He’s shivering, but he doesn’t move. He’s looking at the city, sprawled and twinkling in front of him, but his expression is blank.

I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you…

INT. SUBWAY STOP - NIGHT

The train doors open, Zay and Charlie emerging onto the platform. It’s still bustling for a Friday night, the two of them just another part of the crowd. Charlie takes his hand, the two of them exchanging a meaningful look before Zay begins to lead the way through the masses.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Maya is tweaking her future moodboard, rearranging some items and changing it up. She’s making it a little more personal rather than so cold and calculated, aiming for the future she wants to lead rather than the one she feels like she has to in order to survive the industry.

She picks up one of the photos on her bed, hesitating on it. It’s a polaroid of her and Farkle, goofing around in the auditorium during spring semester. She brushes her thumb over Farkle, obviously contemplative.

Then she looks back at the moodboard. Perhaps it will find a place in her future after all…

INT. MINKUS HOME - HALLWAY - NIGHT

STUART MINKUS approaches Farkle’s door, lightly knocking and asking if he can come inside and chat. Jennifer informed him that he passed on dinner, and hasn’t emerged from his room since, so he wanted to come see what’s going on. His mom said he seemed like he was feeling better this week? Is that the case?

Farkle doesn’t answer, so Stuart sighs and settles for hanging outside. He speaks through the door instead, struggling to find exactly what he wants to say but doing his best to get it out.

Stuart: Listen, I… I’ve been thinking a lot about that discussion we had during the holidays. The things we said to each other… I think you had some points. Smart as you are, of course you did, but… when I said what I did, I was only trying to look out for you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, considering I’m not always… you’re right. I could afford to be around more, and I guess I just needed you to confront me with the truth of that to recognize it as such. [ a beat ] I’m sorry I made you feel like I don’t notice or care, Farkle. I do. I do, and you make me proud every day. Even if I don’t quite understand it, I know you’re making strides in what’s important to you. And I want to be there for more of that. Genuinely.

A really nice sentiment, one long overdue. Still, Farkle doesn’t give him anything in return. Stuart sighs in frustration, knowing they can’t make any progress if he won’t even hear him out.

Stuart: Farkle, come on. Can we just chat about this --

INT. MINKUS HOME - FARKLE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Stuart gently pushes open the door, searching the dimly lit room for Farkle so they can talk face to face. But he’s not at his desk or on his bed, and it takes a full scan of the room for his gaze to drift to the floor.

First confusion passes over his features, then a moment later, panic. Sheer, absolute panic.

Stuart, choked: Farkle? [ bursting into the room ] FARKLE!

Stuart drops down to the ground, kneeling just in front of the camera. He immediately descends into hysterics.

Stuart: Farkle, come on. No -- Jennifer! JENNIFER, CALL AN AMBULANCE!

The last notes of “Lullaby” take us out as the screen goes to black.

Stuart, broken: Farkle!

END OF EPISODE.

IF ANY of the content in this episode has been triggering, please reach out and talk to somebody you trust and who can help you. The following links are resources including hotlines, prevention organizations, and international numbers.

Suicide Prevention: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

List of Suicide Hotlines: https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines https://suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

[bro78-sis83-blog]

Sis and I

This is how the first time I took advantage of my little sis Brie became a 30 year incestious affair. It all started we i was 10 and she was 6. Let me say that I did not go after her because of her age it was puberty and availability. I will explain how it all happened in story below. Please keep in mind this is based on our lives. I am sure I will enhance some because memory is memory. Brie and I still get together to pleasure each other on a regular bases. We are both married and have families of our own. We both love our spouses and children. Her husband has no idea that anything is happening now or in the past between the two of us. My wife is aware that Brie and I had something when we were younger but no clue that it still is happening. In saying that here is the story.

Like I said this happened when I was 10 and Brie was 6. It was New Year’s Eve 1988. I was in early puberty and recently started playing with myself. I was looking forward to this night because mom and dad were going to be at a party until late. My brother was spending the night out at a friends. Brie would be in bed early so I would have the main TV with cable all to myself. I had looked in the TV guide and found there was going to be an adult movie that started at 10:00 on showtime. I was super excited mom and dad left around 8:00. I was constiantly watching the clock for it to be nine o’clock the designated bedtime for Brie. Meaning I would have an hour for Brie to fall asleep before the movie started. When it was finally Brie’s bedtime. She whined and complained I finally convinced her by saying go lay down. By me saying I will check on you in an hour if you are still awake I will let you come back down.

After watching the slowest clock of my life up until then. I turned on showtime and went quietly up the stairs to check on Brie. I opened her door and sitting at her play table just starring at the door was Brie. She hopped up and said I am still awake you said I could come down and watch TV with you. I was in shock she was still up and didn’t react when she pushed by me. She was halfway down the stairs when I realized what was on the TV. I turned and sprinted by her. But it was to late by the time I got to the remote. Brie said you aren’t suppose to be watching this. Our parents having lecture our brother and me about adult movies when we got the movie channels. Brie was there and heard the lecture to. I shot back and said well your suppose to be in bed. So we both are in the wrong. I won’t tell if you don’t. When she didn’t respond I looked at her. She was sitting on the floor watching intently. I said do we have a deal you don’t tell I won’t tell. This snapped out of it. Looked at me and nodded.

I noticed her eyes looked down and I realized that I had a boner and my shorts were sticking out. I quickly sat down hiding it. Brie having two older brothers knew what it was and asked why do you have a boner. I said because of the movie makes me horny as a lady moans even louder at that point. This is were if I was a better person I would have changed the movie and changed the subject. I was not a better person. I was puberty driven kid who had a boner, porno playing, and a girl right in front of me. Brie was still looking at my crotch as the woman from the movie was getting louder. I said you are starring at my boner do you really want to see it. She nodded and I said you can not tell anyone I let you see it. She had got up on her knees and was shuffled over. I said you have to promise because I can get in a lot of trouble. Brie a nodded and I said say you promise she looked up and said I promise.

I was really horny and the sex scene had ended so. I stood up and pulled my shorts down letting my 10 year old cock free. I was very proud of my dick because my other buddy who was in puberty was only half aaa big as me. So standing there presenting my dick to my sister who kneeling right in front of me. I said if you promise not to tell you can touch it. She looked up and promised not to tell. Her tentative little hand reached out and with one finger touched the head. That brief touch sent electric shocks through me. I said since you already promised not to tell you can touch it more. She again tentatively reached out this time keeping her finger on it longer. I said go ahead feel it. A little more confident she reach up and wrapped her hand around it. I moaned not letting go she looked up at me. I said your hand feels amazing on my dick. If you want to make it feel even better you can stroke it. Brie looked up and said what do you mean. I reached down and guided her into stroking me. When I let go she continued and I couldn’t hold back. Having her be the first person besides a doctor or me to touch my dick. I moan and thrust my hips saying keep going I’m going to cum. She kept doing it and then I exploded. With all the build up I shot a huge load of what I later learned was just precum not really cum.

Well Brie was kneeling right in front of me. That is where I was aiming and the load hit her all over but mainly in the face. I actually saw a blast go into her mouth as she gasped from the shock of it. When I finished shooting cum all over my little sister guilt started in. I start apologizing and reminding her about the promises she made. I specially apologized and it going into her mouth. Brie quietly said its okay you didn’t mean to. I asked how did it taste. She scooped up more and put it into her mouth. This brought my dick back to full salute. Watching as she thought about it and she then said not bad. She then noticed I was hard again and reached back up. As she stroked me I said with your promise not to tell would you let me do other things. Brie’s eyes glued to her hand stroking my dick nodded yes. I said you need to let me go and let’s get you pj’s off so we don’t get more cum on them. She let go stood up and pulled off the nightgown and even though I didn’t say anything she pulled her panties off. As soon as Brie was naked she grabbed my dick again.

I asked you like playing with my dick. She nodded yes. I said would you want to suck it. Her eyes snapped up to mine looking a little scared. I said you don’t have to just asking. She looked relieved. I noticed the guy on the movie was rubbing is dick on a pussy. I said can we try that pointing. Brie watched for a few seconds then looked back at me and nodded. I had her lay on her back and spread her legs. As I got in position and while looking at my first real life pussy. I looked up and said can I taste you. You looked tentatively down at her pussy and back up at me. I said you got to taste me and added if you don’t like it tell me to stop. As Brie started nodding I buried my face in her little pussy. Licking all over and around it when all the sudden I hit a spot that caused her to jump. I looked up and said sorry asking if she wanted to stop. Quietly she said no so I went back to going to town enjoying her taste and aroma. I hit that spot again and she again jumped. I looked up and said do you like when I lick that spot. Brie whispered yes so I went back at it until I found the spot by her jump. I went to work with my tongue on that spot. After about another minute Brie was breathing heavily. Then she clamped her legs on my head as she twitched and then her little pussy got really wet. The aroma and taste had me diving back in to suck it all up. But Brie said stop.

I stopped immediately and she released her legs from around my head. I looked up and asked if she liked that. She nodded very energetically. So I said if we are alone and you keep you promise we can do this a lot more. I said can I still rub my dick on it. Still in a daze Brie said yes. I crawled up between her legs but realized it wouldn’t work. So I picked her up and put her on the coach. It was the right heighth. I slowly started rubbing my aching dick up and down Brie’s pussy. Between my saliva and her juices it was well lubed. I was also leaking precum making it even more slippery. When with a thrust on my part, a shift by Brie, and the mixture of all our juice acting as lube. The tip of my dick lined up perfectly with Brie’s pussy. I started cumming shooting my load directly into Brie. Brie jumped breaking the prefect alignment. Causing me to spray the next two blast to shoot all over her pussy. I was still working my duck trying to find the perfect line up because it felt amazing. Brie was shifting her hips to. The line up didn’t happen because I finished cumming.

We were both breathing hard. When we both claimed down. I asked her if that was okay. She nodded at me. I stood up and Brie whimpered. I said I am going to get a towel to clean up my mess. When I came back she was playing with the cum. I gentle wiped the cum off her little pussy. When I noticed a little glob coming from inside her. I said what did you like most about tonight. She thought while I continued to wipe up my cum leaking out of her pussy. She then said I like when you lick my and pointed at her pussy. I said I liked that too. She said I also liked when you rubbed your thing on me. I nodded that I like that to: I asked did it hurt when I shot my cum into you. She said no it felt good. I said can we do that again she nodded as she spread her legs. I looked up at the clock and saw it was around 11:30. I said why don’t we clean up down here turn everything off and go up stairs to play. After cleaning up I noticed that Brie was barely able to keep her eyes open. So I helped brie upstairs into her bed. As she was dozing off I reminded her about keeping our secret. She almost asleep said if we keep it secret we can play more. I agreed and she was out.

The next morning when I got up I was so nervous. I saw Brie’s door was open meaning she was already down stairs. I went down and saw mom and dad reading the paper while Brie was eating breakfast. When mom saw me she asked how the night went. I told her it went great. Mom said Brie told us you let her come back down to watch TV after not going to bed. I shrugged and said she went to her room for an hour to try and go to sleep. When she couldn’t I let her come down. Mom nodded and went back to reading paper. I went to get breakfast and Brie with a huge smile whispered I kept our big secret. I smiled and with a quick glance at mom and dad leaned down and quickly kissed her on the lips. She smiled and giggled as I went to get food.

This is how it all start for me. It took until summer until we got to play again. Because we were constantly busy. I will start working on that story.

[mrmeriwether]

This has been the single hardest thing to learn since becoming a creative professional, and it sucks that most every single creative has to face it themselves at one point or another. The comic illustrates it beautifully and this breakdown gives even clearer context! Thank you for putting this out here.

To add my own experience as someone who went to an art school and has now been working in AAA games for 7 yrs... It's especially tough because burnout/overworking is one of the very first things I was warned about. But! It's so, so easy for that message to get drowned out. I was also told my field is hyper-competitive! To do my best on small-scale projects for grades at a time in my life when I first tasted independence and didn't know what to do with it. I was building toward that One Big Moment (finals/graduation).

For the first time, I could stay up ALL NIGHT working on something, and literally no one would stop me. Sure, I'd feel gross seeing the sun rise while I'm still staring at a screen, but I was tough! I could take it if it meant I got that sweet validation of a finished product! I was incredibly proud of those extra hours, and my professors praised me for my effort. The warning grew quieter, and long-term effects were impossible to see. I just needed to make it through college, I could overwork myself a little, right?

Plus, it wasn't just about external validation. I was doing what I loved! How cool that I could throw myself in entirely to my creative passions.

Then, all my hard work landed me a dream internship, which became a dream job!! And suddenly, the pressure cranked up! The stakes for everything were higher now -- I NEEDED my work to stay great so I could pay for food and rent, and to prove to myself that I deserved to be here. I was surrounded by folks with my same passions, but also with years of extra experience and honed talents. It was intimidating! It was exciting!

Plus, now I could be paid OVERTIME! When work got busy, I could buckle down, stay late an hour or two (or more) polishing my work, and pocket some extra cash? For those of you keeping score at home, this is how crunch culture is made. What doesn't get mentioned as often is that being in the middle of crunch is as exciting as it is miserable. There's a weird mix of adrenaline and camaraderie -- we can get this done, if we all work together! Once again, that old warning conveniently gets brushed away in the moment. Part of you knows you shouldn't put yourself through those extra hours, but another part WANTS to, and another is scared what might happen if you don't.

And then you ship a game. And it comes out and (hopefully) people play it and enjoy it. And it gets good reviews, maybe even gets nominated for awards. You did it! This thing is out there, and it is loved, and your name is in the credits as proof that it couldn't have happened without you.

....and your hands have been hurting way more than they used to. And your car is at the shop now because you couldn't find time to get an oil change. And you've brushed some people aside for the past few months (wait, when did it turn into months?). And your relationship didn't survive this one. You knew things were getting rocky, but you were going to focus on that next, just as soon as you got through this last bit of OT! You didn't realize the release date was going to get pushed back. You didn't realize just how much of yourself you placed in this project. You can't remember the last time you've been to the doctor. Your boss gives you a few weeks off, as a reward for all your hard work. You use it finding a new place to live. You get a promotion. That extra OT money goes to rent, since there's no one sharing the bills now. Your hands really hurt. And then...

You realize you have to do it all over again.

For me, I had to live through the consequences before I finally remembered that first advice I got back in school, finally allowed myself to bring it to the front of my mind. In the moment, it felt like I was working extra hard as a temporary measure. Project-based creative work has that allure to it, it feels so final at the time. But there's always another project. Your team talks excitedly about a sequel, and you finally realize that THIS IS IT. This is your life, and it is a continuous thing, and the industry you're in will be more than happy to eat you up and spit you out if you let it. You start to see your older coworkers in a new light, realizing your ferocious drive wasn't necessarily a badge of honor. You begin to understand the high turnover rates in your industry.

I started stepping back more, allowing myself to do Good work instead of The Best work, if it meant going home at a normal time. I still feel that pull though, and I'm still learning and healing. It's a long process. Not the kind you push through with your head down, consequences be damned. The kind you'll carry along with you for the rest of your life, gently, but with purpose. The art will still get made.

I’ve gotten enough questions about my “Rulebreaker” comic that I really wanted to clear it up, so here’s a little peek at what I was trying to say! Thank you for your patience, and interest in these comics, it means so much <3 

(The comic referenced is linked here):

https://www.tumblr.com/maddiesharafian/642329764808540161/rulebreaker?source=share