#I made a case report file
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chericherilvr · 2 months ago
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when I say I am trying to write thriller murder mystery in mind, I mean it.... now.... my theatrics will never go away....
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no Quinn, murder on the dance-floor wouldn't be a good musical theme song, he was murdered on a LAB!!!
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purple-fangirl · 8 months ago
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#although all joking aside I can absolutely see Bruce setting this up for Jason in the backyard after adopting him#partially passive aggressively#partially because he feels like maybe Jason actually does just ??? enjoy tires??? and wants to make him happy#‘of course kids like tires my son tried to steal mine the first time we met’#and of course it’s not like jason would say NO#it’s still sitting out there#Jason likes to read on it sometimes still#jason todd#robin!jason#bby ♥️#robin#batfam#dc#fanart
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What Jason Todd REALLY planned on doing with those tires
#what if he made a little drawing of this and tried to hide it because he wasn't SERIOUS#but then Alfred found it by accident and thought it was cute#and it made its way to Bruce#and so Bruce was like oh okay great bonding idea#one day he just tells jason to come to the cave with him with no explaination#and they start taking the batmobile tires off together#and now jason's kind of sweating a bit because he doesn't understand what's going on and is this a test? is this a sign he's getting kicked#out soon?#but then Bruce collects the hubcaps and the rims and directs jason to “roll that one over there chum”#and they start lining them up in a way that looks uncomfortably familiar#and jason's like “no way this happening I'm tripping is he actually making it a swing”#bruce has to ask for clarification on the design#because he only got a brief look at the drawing and well jason's right here lemme just ask him “where do you want to hang it?”#jason folds and just lets it happen and they assemble the tires into a little throne and set it up by dick's gymnastics equipment#jason is so embarrassed and bruce is pleased with himself#“it's okay chum I can always get new tires” (rich)#and jason thinks it's stupid but then whenever he has a case file or report to read the tire swing is the perfect place to curl up and read#bruce doesn't have the heart to take it down much later when tim and steph take a liking to the perch#and certainly not if cass finds it pleasant too#when jason finally comes home again he's too big and they have to add more tires to make it work#Jason likes to read on it sometimes still#jason todd#robin!jason#bby ♥️#robin#batfam#dc#fanart
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feminist-space · 5 months ago
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"Balaji’s death comes three months after he publicly accused OpenAI of violating U.S. copyright law while developing ChatGPT, a generative artificial intelligence program that has become a moneymaking sensation used by hundreds of millions of people across the world.
Its public release in late 2022 spurred a torrent of lawsuits against OpenAI from authors, computer programmers and journalists, who say the company illegally stole their copyrighted material to train its program and elevate its value past $150 billion.
The Mercury News and seven sister news outlets are among several newspapers, including the New York Times, to sue OpenAI in the past year.
In an interview with the New York Times published Oct. 23, Balaji argued OpenAI was harming businesses and entrepreneurs whose data were used to train ChatGPT.
“If you believe what I believe, you have to just leave the company,” he told the outlet, adding that “this is not a sustainable model for the internet ecosystem as a whole.”
Balaji grew up in Cupertino before attending UC Berkeley to study computer science. It was then he became a believer in the potential benefits that artificial intelligence could offer society, including its ability to cure diseases and stop aging, the Times reported. “I thought we could invent some kind of scientist that could help solve them,” he told the newspaper.
But his outlook began to sour in 2022, two years after joining OpenAI as a researcher. He grew particularly concerned about his assignment of gathering data from the internet for the company’s GPT-4 program, which analyzed text from nearly the entire internet to train its artificial intelligence program, the news outlet reported.
The practice, he told the Times, ran afoul of the country’s “fair use” laws governing how people can use previously published work. In late October, he posted an analysis on his personal website arguing that point.
No known factors “seem to weigh in favor of ChatGPT being a fair use of its training data,” Balaji wrote. “That being said, none of the arguments here are fundamentally specific to ChatGPT either, and similar arguments could be made for many generative AI products in a wide variety of domains.”
Reached by this news agency, Balaji’s mother requested privacy while grieving the death of her son.
In a Nov. 18 letter filed in federal court, attorneys for The New York Times named Balaji as someone who had “unique and relevant documents” that would support their case against OpenAI. He was among at least 12 people — many of them past or present OpenAI employees — the newspaper had named in court filings as having material helpful to their case, ahead of depositions."
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specialgradefckr · 4 months ago
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Cutest Girl Alive~
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tw: explicit content. brat!reader, gojo is not a brat tamer he is a brat enjoyer, hate sex vibes, very very tsundere!reader, gojo is hilariously oblivious about how annoying he is, reader is kinda mean (not without reason...)
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satoru gojo who just doesn't know what your problem is.
he really doesn't! suguru doesn't believe him, of course, but it's true - he didn't do anything. at least not anything that would warrant you asking if his "inbred, illiterate ass is too important to file a report".
ichiji said it was just because his paper backlog made things difficult for everybody. but the inbreeding comment was uncalled for!
his mom is super hot, though. he told you as much, and offered to set up a date, just in case you swung the other way.
unfortunately, the only thing that swung was your hand against his face, which didn't make contact, but it still hurt his feelings!
(you'd looked him dead in the eye. "good." walked away.)
and that wasn't just an isolated incident!
he'd caught you at the vending machine, bent over. satoru had politely refrained from slapping your ass and loudly announced how hot it was.
perfect gentleman!
whereupon you had turned around, smiling tightly, and offered him the soda.
"see," he teased, cracking it open, "i knew you could be nice if-"
the soda sprayed all over his face. your smile looked a little looser, a little realer, and your laugh - while awful and wicked - had been terribly adorable.
when he started to laugh with you, though, you just glared. rolled your eyes, and walked off in the middle of the conversation.
and just. random moments! your face falls into an admittedly cute pout (suguru says it's a grimace) whenever he walks into the room.
"how's your day been?"
"good, until you got here."
like, he's not crazy here. you're just being mean.
honestly, it's kind of funny. or it would be funny, if it didn't kind of hurt a little.
suguru doesn't get the same kind of response. when he begs, pleads, and bribes suguru into asking you what you don't like about him -
"if i had to say... everything."
whereupon suguru had burst out laughing.
mean!
but that's the thing, though. you were nice to suguru, to everyone else.
you're not a bitch. you're a bitch to him.
he's special.
you don't treat anybody else like this.
why is that, satoru ponders. why do you especially dislike him?
suguru says it's his shitty personality. joke's on suguru because his best friend has been some guy with a shitty personality for about a decade now! loser.
anyways, he comes up with a plan. he texts you from another phone and number, something perfectly random and polite. a picture of a cat he found on the street.
(you love cats so you'll definitely respond. he knows because he's been popping in on you for several weeks now. it's not stalking because he doesn't follow you! and that was so rude of suguru to say!)
the conversation that follows is perfectly pleasant. sweet, even. he enjoys it, right up until -
mean girl <3: hey could you do me a huge favor actually? satoru gojo: anything 4 u kitten!! mean girl <3: kill yourself gojo
his number is blocked.
whoops. wow. do you have a built in satoru gojo detector or something? what is he missing? what gave him away???
suguru looks over the texts and just stares at him blankly at the question.
"well? what could have clued her in?"
"oh, god... satoru, if you can't tell, just forget about it. and stop trying to fool her."
he probably should. stop, that is.
he's not following you but he's definitely teleporting into places he knows you'll be. trying to run into you. constantly. daily. hourly, even.
he likes to stay updated on all your missions. your favorite restaurants. maybe he watches you a little.
there's just something that draws him in. your quick wits, your derision. the way you look at him with all that fire.
you want to laugh at him. he wants to laugh with you.
and yeah, he gets rock hard when you yell at him. he'd let you slap him but you don't bother trying anymore after hitting his infinity that one time. bummer.
it's a late summer evening - sun still up, orange on the horizon. he's stuck filling out reports, you're stuck grading papers.
in silence, as always. you'd never speak to him unless it was to insult him.
"hey," satoru says all the sudden, "you wanna fuck?"
the silence that fills the room is colder, harder -
"are you fucking serious?" insulted, outraged - that's about what he expected.
but... if he looks with the six eyes... if he glances at your sympathetic nervous system, if he squints really hard and swears three times over, maybe he can convince himself -
"you're not totally against the idea, are you?" he draws himself up from the table, smirking.
hooking a finger in his blindfold like he's trying to remind you just how long they are.
you stare at him.
"dead serious," he confirms, "right here right now. i can be fast."
"i don't doubt it." oooh, there's that bite again, "i doubt i'd enjoy it."
his smile bares teeth.
"wanna bet?"
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and fuck, just look at you now. look at you!
with all six eyes he is. and satoru likes what he sees.
hunched over, teary eyed. face bright red. you used to scowl at him with that face, that pretty face, all hard lines and snarled lips -
and look at you now! so cute and precious and soft! so sweet he wants to take a bite out of you.
you even yelp, adorably, when he nips at the inside of your thigh. sensitive, twitchy.
he's dizzy with it. with the taste of you, of your cum. your high pitched little whimpers in his ears are still ringing in his ears, along with your mean retorts.
"where's your smart mouth now, baby?" he teases, lips glossy with your slick.
and god, it's even fucking hotter watching you try to glare while blushing and trembling and blinking away tears of overstimulation.
"sh-shut up and put your dick in me, gojo," you bite out, "if you even know how."
you jolt when he kisses your cunt, looking you in the eyes while he does it.
"awh, you poor thing," he cooes, crawling up your chest to go face-to-face, even as another hand goes to dig his cock out of his pants, "so impatient."
he can tell it riles you up. that you don't know what to do, trapped in his gaze.
"fuck off, gojo."
"i'll fuck you," he says with a snicker, kissing your throat. like he knows you won't let him kiss your lovely little pouty face.
how could he not have seen it before?
(well, he had his blindfold on for one. but the principle of you being unsettled by your attraction towards him still stands!)
he lines himself up, nice and easy. feels your unsteady hands reach, cling to his shoulders, and that's almost as hot.
you look down to avoid his gaze, but then your eyes widen at the sight of his cock. huge and pink and throbbing.
"yummy, right?" he croons, "you can have a taste after if you want. you're so sweet, you deserve a lick or two."
you make this sharp gasp, the most adorable, helpless noise, your whole body jerking as he plunges into you, and satoru nearly cums just from that.
cute. cute cute cute cute so fucking cute he's gonna go crazy.
he bites at the place your shoulder meets your neck just to sate himself. soft skin, tender flesh. salty and slick from sweat.
you melt in his mouth. around his dick. whimpering and sniffling and mewling little demands.
"get on with it, gojo, fuck, is this your first time - "
"first time fucking a cunt this wet?" he purrs between sucking marks on your neck, "yeah, baby. it's crazy, how much you want me."
"you went down on me for like," another high-pitched squeak as he nips your ear, "t-ten minutes, dumbass. of course i'm wet!"
your hands claw at him, trembling just like your voice.
he shoves himself in, all the way to the hilt, disintegrating any coherence you had left. all you can do is cry out, wailing when his long fingers brush over your poor, swollen, tender clit.
"awh, baby, you can take it," he croons. his heart does a little delighted flutter when he sees your (utterly kissable) lips purse in annoyance, only to fall apart again when he pumps back into you.
"run out of nasty things to say, huh, baby?" satoru swears he can feel your pretty little clit twitching and pulsing at his touch, just like his cock throbs inside you.
his eyes glitter as he thrusts in and out. god, your hot fucking body tensing and shuddering against him, the exhaustion warring with pleasure and aggravation on your face.
there's not a single part of you that isn't utterly fixated on him. in this moment he's the most important thing in your world.
and it's glorious. your cunt is clenching him like a vice, unraveling him almost as far as he's already unwound you. little moans spill from your mouth, music to his ears.
that face, god, that fucking gorgeous face that's always frowning at him. so pretty now.
"look at you," he pants, close so close, "god, you're - such a bitch all the time - you just needed a good fucking, huh?"
satoru snatches your face by the jaw, looking you straight in the eyes.
they're all wet and messy and a little bit red. he's so close he has to press hard, fast circles into your clit to get you closer, closer -
"f-fuck," you sob, "fuck, hngh, you-"
he licks your tears off your cheeks, "just needed some good cock, huh? that's all it takes to shut your mean little mouth?"
clawing at his back. he feels you squeezing him for all he's worth, milking him -
"fuck, i'm cumming," he groans, bursting hot and liquid in your tight cunt.
you gulp down heavy, airy breaths. delicate noises as you tremble in his arms.
fuck, you're so gorgeous. satoru lays you back, your lashes fluttering, face flushed, spread out on the desk all limp and exhausted.
his ravished beauty. his little spitfire.
"see," he cooes, cupping your cheek, "all sweet for me now that you're filled with my cum. see how nice it feels when you're good for me?"
your hands shoot up, slapping his hand away, covering your face.
"your mouth is literally only good for eating pussy."
he laughs, leaning in to hold you against him. "and yours is only good for talking shit."
"maybe if you weren't such an asshole you'd know better." you snap, pulling back, sliding him out of you with a little gasp that gets his cock twitching again.
he whines at the loss of you, "awh, come on, don't be like that."
you roll your eyes. it's pretty incredible how well you're composing yourself, fixing your clothes and hair. taking a deep breath as you pointedly ignore his pestering and prepare to leave.
his bitchy, pretty baby. so much less intimidating when he's seen you moaning and cumming in his mouth - but he thinks you're even more adorable now.
"i gave you more than your fair share of orgasms, didn't i? show me what else it's good for~" he sings, staring at you the whole time.
you ignore him until you're dressed again. glancing at him from the corner of your eye. turning away.
"...next week after class." you say, stopping just before you leave, "i don't like owing people."
"heh." satoru watches you dart out the door, shutting it briskly behind you, smiling to himself.
maybe you thought he couldn't see it - as if he isn't always watching your face - but just before you left, he could tell.
the faintest dusting of pink on your cheeks...
you really are the cutest girl alive, huh?
(megumi tells him to stop whistling that day - he doesn't stop for an entire week.)
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flwrkid14 · 5 months ago
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Tim Drake’s Unhinged Power Move (ft. Marriage, Ra’s al Ghul, and an Uncomfortable Batfamily)
No one really understood how it started. One moment, Tim Drake was Red Robin—tired, overworked, and fueled by caffeine. The next, he was dropping a bombshell in the middle of a routine debrief:
“Oh, by the way, I married Ra’s al Ghul.”
The room froze.
Dick’s dumbbell hit the floor. Jason choked on his beer. Damian’s sword slipped from his hand. Bruce, staring at Tim like he’d grown a second head, barely managed a strangled, “Tim. What did you do?”
Tim took a sip of his coffee, utterly unfazed. “It’s a power move.”
Jason, wheezing with laughter: “Oh my god. You married Ra’s out of spite? Replacement, I’ve never been prouder.”
Tim smirked. “Something like that.”
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It wasn’t really spite.
Ra’s had been obsessed with him for years. The offers of succession, the constant attempts to lure him to the League—it was never-ending. Tim was tired. Tired of being hunted, tired of the games. So, one day, he called Ra’s’ bluff. If Ra’s wanted him so badly, he’d have to deal with all that came with it. Including Tim’s unrelenting need for control.
Ra’s agreed.
And just like that, Tim Drake became the most terrifying in-law the batfamily had ever seen.
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Talia didn’t know what to think at first.
She’d seen it all before—people manipulated by Ra’s, twisted into tools for his will. But Tim? He didn’t play by those rules. He sat at Ra’s’ desk, sifting through League reports like they were Gotham case files. He didn’t bark orders; he made suggestions. And then, the soup happened.
Talia returned from a mission, bruised and exhausted. Tim, barely looking up from his paperwork, said, “Sit. You’re hurt.”
She scoffed. “I don’t need your pity.”
“It’s not pity. It’s soup.”
Talia stared. “Why?”
Tim shrugged. “You looked like you needed it.”
It became a routine. She’d return from missions, and Tim would be there. Not with judgment. Not with manipulation. Just quiet support. He listened. He offered advice. He treated her like a person, not a pawn.
Somehow, they started having regular bonding time. Shopping trips. Quiet conversations on the balcony. Tim became a person Talia could trust—a concept she hadn’t believed possible.
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Damian was losing his mind.
“Drake!” he hissed, cornering Tim in the Batcave. “You’ve… corrupted my mother!”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “Corrupted? She’s thriving.”
“She smiles at you!”
“I’m very charming.”
Damian’s finger trembled as he pointed. “This makes you… my grandmother.”
Tim smirked. “Respect your elders, grandson.”
“I REFUSE!”
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Bruce was spiraling.
“Tim, this is dangerous.”
“Relax,” Tim replied, sipping his coffee. “I’ve got it under control.”
“You married one of our greatest enemies!”
“Think of it as an undercover op,” Tim said, voice calm and unyielding. “I’m playing the long game.”
Jason, from the sidelines, grinned. “He’s playing 4D chess, and you’re still on checkers.”
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The Real Chaos?
Tim didn’t marry Ra’s to make him happy. Hell no. If anything, it made Tim sick to his stomach knowing Ra’s was smug about it. But if putting up with Ra’s al Ghul meant protecting Talia, stabilizing the League, and giving Damian a family that didn’t break apart at the seams?
He’d endure.
Because Talia was healing. Damian’s mother was smiling. And Ra’s… well, Ra’s thought he’d won.
But the real winner? Tim Drake.
Gotham’s most unhinged vigilante had just become the League of Assassins’ terrifying step-parent. And honestly? It suited him.
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Damian, whispering to Alfred: “I need… therapy.” Alfred: “We all do, Master Damian. We all do.”
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jihnari · 9 months ago
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hey hi, that's over 80% of people reading on a handheld device (phone or tablet). so ao3 html writers, why do you insist on writing exclusively for pc?
just a thought! maybe code for phones instead!!
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reidswrld · 4 months ago
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me & you together song.
❛ i’ve been in love with her for ages, and i can’t seem to get it right. ❜
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spencer reid x reader.
summary: you’ve always assumed spencer reid’s love language was acts of service. flowers left at your desk. notes written only to you. every tuesday, he gave you your favorite bagel from downtown. you knew he was like this with the rest of the team, too. you didn’t sweat it. you were focused on your job, and your job only. but when multiple instances occur over the course of a case, it’s hard to ignore both of your feelings for each other.
tags: grumpy fem!character x sunshine!spencer reid, friends to lovers, everyone knows but them, the bau literally bets when they’ll get together, no use of y/n, afab character, found family if you squint hard enough, spencer’s obsessed with her but won’t admit it to the public (the public is morgan), based on me & you together song by the 1975 btw, i wrote this while eating a doritos loco taco
word count: 2k
notes: i asked my best friends to give me a character and a trope. happy first post!
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When you first landed the job as an agent at the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, you first told yourself not to get too attached. This was a job, after all. A career. A high risk one, that could end in fatalities and wounds that might never heal, cuts that will always bleed for the rest of eternity. Once you made it clear to yourself that you were to be civil with your coworkers —close enough to be friendly, but not enough to go out for drinks on Saturday nights— and most important of all, do your job, and do it damn well, you poured yourself a glass of wine and watched the rest of the season of the sitcom you’ve been meaning to finish.
However, with all of the ups and downs your job gave you, it could not have allowed for you to expect the boisterous chaos that were your coworkers. They welcomed you in not only with open arms, but open minds. They respected your boundaries, your ideas, everything about you. Your attempt at remaining just civil became useless after months, but looking back, how could you have tried any longer? Penelope gave you a big kiss on the cheek every week, exclaiming that she loved your outfits and needed to go shopping with you right that minute. Morgan ruffled your hair whenever he brought you coffee (despite your incessant dismay that now you needed to brush it again). Hotch, though not a fan of public displays, would murmur a reassuring, you’re doing well every time he returned a file back to you. And then there was Reid.
Spencer Reid.
Well, what was there to say about him?
Over time, you’ve assumed that his love language must be acts of service. He brought you a bagel every week, sometimes more, from your favorite bagel shop downtown. Every Tuesday, a poppy seed bagel with extra plain cream cheese, extra toasted, cut in half so you could eat the middle dollop of cream cheese first. He made you mugs of tea whenever it grew past five pm because you told him that you had trouble falling asleep once months ago. Sometimes, small bouquets of wild grown flowers were left on your desk. At first, you thought it was Penelope being extra kind to you, or even Morgan playing a small joke on you. Both denied, but still giggled as you walked away. Whatever that meant. Behind your back, they secretly slipped each other five dollar bills.
You were sure he did the same for the rest of his coworkers, too. You’ve seen him refill coffee pots whenever Emily mentioned starting a new brew, and work extra hard on his reports in his free time to make sure Hotch or JJ didn’t stay too late. You were on the same page, anyway. Friends. Civil. It didn’t matter.
You huffed as you walked into the BAU, which was deemed more of a half jog, half marathon sprint. You hadn’t bothered to check the weather before leaving, and on the walk from the subway station to the office, it had started downpouring. The sudden drops of cold from the sky had caused you to drop your half empty cup of coffee, and you had forgotten to grab the breakfast you made yourself the night before in the fridge. Not even Harry Styles’ album blaring in your ears could have stopped you from turning the morning around. You grumbled simple good morning’s to everyone as you shook off your coat. Expecting to see your desk surrounded with papers that you were too tired to file in their intended drawers yesterday, you instead found a clean one; the papers were stashed in their designated places (in alphabetical order), the pens were compiled in the pouch you bought at Daiso years ago and cherished, even the trash under your desk was taken out. The only thing left to be seen on the wooden desk was a small brown bag that smelled of heaven and happiness and a folded piece of paper. You reached inside to find your usual poppy seed bagel the same as it always was. To make your Tuesday better. For you, always, the note read. You didn’t need to decipher whose scribbles those belonged to. You forgot it was Tuesday.
“Where’s my bagel, lover boy?” Morgan’s voice boomed as the man sat on top of your desk, snatching the bag with a grin. Spencer only swiftly passed by the desk with ease, choosing to make eye contact with the carpet.
“Good morning, Dr. Reid. Happy Tuesday.” Spencer’s eyes divert to yours quickly. He only nods, responding with the same greeting. Happy Tuesday, honey.
Morgan’s laugh carried throughout the room, swinging his legs as he spoke. “You two make me sick, that’s for sure. Can I have some of your bagel?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You furrowed your brow in annoyance, which only made Morgan smile widely.
“Do you need to get your glasses checked again? You know, there’s an optometrist across the street—”
As you started to speak, Hotch walked from his office, announcing a new case and to meet in the room immediately. You got up swiftly, grabbing your bagel from Morgan’s hands with a muttered asshole falling from your lips. It only made Morgan cackle loudly. You remind yourself to write a psych evaluation on Morgan after the case is over with.
On the first day of the case, you realized it was going to be a more difficult one than usual. You didn’t panic. You never do. The second day, you worked harder than ever only to see little to no result. You continued not to sleep. It was like clockwork. Work, coffee, repeat. After three days, the case was far from settled. In fact, it seemed to only be getting worse with no ending in sight. Everyone was continuing to work in hopes that they would be home for the weekend. The fourth day, though, seemed to be the worst. The killer was getting more spontaneous with their kills, and the team seemed to keep showing up minutes after the kill had occurred. You were running on little to no sleep and were getting more frustrated with each move the killer made in silence. Near the end of the day, as you stared aimlessly at the wall in front of you, hoping it would make some sort of answer appear in front of your eyes, Hotch put a hand on your shoulder, You jumped slightly, trance be gone, when he told you to get back to the hotel immediately.
Immediately, you persisted. “I’m fine. I’ve almost got something. I’m sure of something.”
“I’m not asking you.”
“Hotch—”
“I’m ordering you, not only as your boss, but mostly as your friend. Your dark circles are getting concerning.” You tried to budge once more, but as Hotch gave one of his stern glares, you knew you were done with work for the day. “I’ll get someone to drive you back. Wait here.”
Within seconds, Spencer appeared, replacing the previous figure of Hotch. Gently tapping your shoulder, he signaled for you to get up. With a flick of a wrist and a soft grin, he spun around a set of keys around his fingers. “Hotch is letting me drive.”
You smiled. “Don’t want Morgan to ‘vibe it?’”
“His definition of ‘vibing it’ is just turning on the sirens when he doesn’t want to stop at a red light.” You walked side by side to the car. Your shoulders brushed ever so slightly due to Spencer’s hands in his pockets, but you didn’t mind. You welcomed the warmth.
“Your definition is turning the volume up to 13 and calling it loud.”
“I would like to be able to hear when I’m old, thank you very much. Any decibel over eighty and poof. Hearing. Out the window.”
“I really don’t think playing Queen at any volume above 13 will kill you, Spence.”
“You never know, honey.” Spencer opened the door for you, ushering you in before closing the door and getting in on the driver’s side. He pulled a cassette tape from his bag and pushed it in the radio; it started to softly play Queen while Spencer messed with the volume, setting it at 13 before driving away. It made a soft smile appear on your lips as your head leaned against the cool glass. Between the constant, soothing movement of the car or the way Spencer’s lips mouthed the lyrics of Good Old Fashioned Boy, it was hard to tell when the lines blurred and sleep drifted you away. The only thing you recognized before falling asleep were the unmistakable words that left Spencer’s mouth.
“Good night, honey. Love you.”
You woke up with a start the next morning. You had no idea how you got back into your hotel room, or how you were wearing your favorite sports shirt that you find comfort in sleeping in all of these years, though your mind directed each question back to the same person, of course. Your mind wandered to the night before; it was the most relaxed you had been all week, even if it was just the simple act of driving with Spencer. You had done it before in past cases —even driven him back to his hotel at times— but this time felt different. Maybe it was the words that left his mouth.
“Oh, good. You’re awake.” Spencer suddenly walked in, holding bags in his arms. He set them down on the table, pulling out various assortments of breakfast foods and handing them to you. “No bagel shops around here, but I did find some good pancakes if you want to eat now.”
“Spence.” You suddenly sat up straight, as if a revelation hit you.
“What? No pancakes? It came with hashbrowns, too.”
“Spencer.” You emphasized, getting him to look at you.
“Yeah?”
“Why do you do all of this for me?”
“What?” His head cocked to the side, not understanding.
“Why do you… I mean… you go out of your way to do things for me. Unnecessary things. I need to know why.”
“Unnecessary…?”
“You… you leave me flowers that are like, hand picked from a garden or the forest, or something not from the city. You clean my desk for me when I’ve left it too messy. You make me my favorite tea when I’m at the office too late. You write me notes that are alluding but you won’t say what. I mean, Spence, you get me my favorite bagel every Tuesday. Why?”
His face suddenly turned serious as he sat next to you on the bed. “You want to know why?” He repeated.
“I know you do these things for the rest of our team, but I just, I just don’t get it.”
“Because I’m in love with you.” Spencer stared at you. “I’ve been in love with you. I think I’ll always be at least a little in love with you, if I’m being honest. I thought you’d catch on by now.”
“…What?”
“Yeah, honey. I thought I was pretty obvious.”
“So you meant what you said last night, then?” You said softly.
“I didn’t mean for you to hear that. Really. I would’ve said it better if I had known you were awake.”
“But I did.” Your face grew closer to his. “And I’m not upset about it. Because I’m in love with you, too.”
Just as your lips began to brush, Spencer began to smile. “You know what day it is, honey? It’s our day.”
You smiled, too. “Happy Tuesday.”
You both tried to be subtle about it for the rest of the case. Weeks had passed by without the team knowing, but one slip up of a kiss on the cheek from Spencer on a Tuesday morning had led to an entire office full of chaos (and a meeting on workplace romance and consent from Hotch). You two didn’t mind, though. It was bound to happen. Until Penelope turned to Morgan and yelled at him to cough up the fifty dollars he owed her, of course.
Happy Tuesday.
930 notes · View notes
chithereader · 5 months ago
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playing it cool / aaron hotchner
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[credits to the owners of these photos!!]
word count: 1.9k
pairing: aaron hotchner x f!reader
genre: fluff!!!!!!
cw: sickeningly sweet and soft aaron x reader, so much of aaron’s thoughts because we know that man thinks soo much more than he speaks!!
a/n: hiiii this is my third post so far and tbh i was so nervous to post the first two as that was my first time ever posting any of my writings anywhere!! but i’ve been getting so much more love on those than expected and i just really wanted to say thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs <33 i was honestly only expecting less than 10 notes as a newbie and reaching up to 200 is so so so wonderful. and especially for the love of hotch i– ugh!!!!! i already love u all 
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The team had worked a straight 5 weeks worth of cases prior, which had warranted Strauss to grant them all a mandatory 3-day rest. This simply meant that for 3 whole days there are no cases, no deadlines, and no new case files. They could come to the office at whatever time they’d like as long as they finished some reports at the end of the day. 
Aaron being Hotch the boss man still aimed to arrive at the office at a reasonable time– 7:30am. To be fair, this is an hour and a half later than when he usually arrives at the office. And in his mind, the earlier he arrives, the more he can get done, and the more he gets done, the earlier he can come home. 
This is the only reason why he is up at 6:00am on a supposed rest day. He did expect that he’d struggle a bit more to drag himself out of bed, knowing you’d be keeping him hostage with limbs that wrap around him in ways he can’t begin to understand, but to his surprise, you weren’t there. 
Dragging his feet across the carpeted floor, his pajama pants hanging low on his hips and white shirt fitting him oh-so-snugly, he tries to find you. He’s rubbing the sleep of his eyes as he peeks his head into your shared bathroom. No sign of you. 
He’s covering his mouth as he yawns when he quietly opens the door to Jack’s bedroom–still no sign of you. Remembering his son has been nursing a stomach bug since yesterday, he opened the door further to check on him. No fever. No chills. No sign of discomfort. 
When he’s sure Jack’s okay, he turns around to go back to find where you went. He even checked the backyard as he passed by a window to see if you’re at your favorite swing reading, that perhaps you just woke up early and wanted to feel the morning sun because you claimed it lightens you. 
He smiles a little to himself as he treads downstairs, finally hearing your soft murmurs as you spoke with someone presumably over the phone. As he neared the kitchen he realized that the person on the line was your colleague and friend Tilly, and that she was on speaker phone making it easy to listen in. 
He slows down his steps as he nears the landing and pauses when he gets behind a wall near the kitchen. He doesn’t know what came over him. He doesn’t usually sneak around to eavesdrop, nor did he ever feel the need to especially when it came to you. You tell him everything, prompted and unprompted. 
But perhaps it was the haze of the morning or the curiosity of what could possibly get you out of bed this early when you’re usually the one snoozing away as he’s getting ready for work– he stayed quiet behind that wall and made it his mission to understand the conversation. 
He clears his mind and strains his ear, going as far as making his breaths slow and far apart. 
He hears Tilly giggling, “Don’t get me wrong, Adam from Finance is really cute but.. isn’t he just a little too serious? He’s always got that frown going on.” 
You sigh a little loudly, obvious that it’s a sigh to humor and not of exasperation, “Tilly, you know I love you, but every day you complain about being single. And every other day there’s a decent guy who you always always find that one flaw in that just crosses them off for you forever.” Tilly lets out a sound that’s a mixture of a laugh and a gasp. 
“That is so not tr–” “Oh, Hugh’s just too clean. And Frederick’s too hard, it’s like- scary. Yes, veiny hands are hot but there’s veiny and too veiny, and Jason was just a double too veiny.” 
Aaron momentarily pauses his listening and looks down at his hands, suddenly conscious where he fit in that category. Factoring in his age, his work, and the action he gets from the field– these all show. He tried thinking of a time you could’ve shown any dislike or disgust towards his hands but all he could think of was that one night when he cupped your face and you leaned towards it more, turning slightly to take his thumb into your mou–
He’s shaken out of his thoughts when he hears Tilly asking about you leaving, “What time are you getting to the office by the way? I just don’t want to get there without you. Adam might ask about that second date and I just need you as my bluff, my beautiful girl.” He makes a mental note to message Jessica before you both get ready for work. 
“Riiiight. Remind me how many guys have I scared off for you now? And how many times have I helped you scare them off? Besides, I can’t go today and I’ve already told Bobby I’m on leave.” 
In a slight surprise and panic Tilly whines, “What?! Why? You’re such a traitor. You know damn well I get so bored without you.” Aaron didn’t even know you were planning on staying home. You hadn’t mentioned anything about it last night which made him even more curious what made you decide. 
He hears your soft laugh, “Don’t be so dramatic. You’ll manage a day without me. I mean you have to– my son caught a stomach bug yesterday so I just want to make sure he’ll recover completely.” 
Aaron can hear Tilly responding, something about soup and warm baths, but his heart has just stopped so he’s not really processing any new words at the moment. 
My son. My son. My son. My son caught a stomach bug. 
He feels lightheaded. His heart kickstarts again, his pulse is ringing in his ear. He can feel his chest pounding to his heart’s beat. The words that rolled off your lips so effortlessly, so mindlessly, echoes in his head. 
Jack may be young but he is smart. So so smart beyond his years. And he has grown to understand what had happened to his mom Haley, but not once has he– and even you allowed Jack to forget who Haley is and how much she loves him. 
Images of you joining in their traditions of honoring and remembering Haley plays in his head in flashes. You helping Jack arrange a bouquet for Haley’s death anniversary. You helping Jack make a card for her birthday. You mixing the paint to get the right shades as Jack paints a portrait of Haley for his Mothers’ Day homework. 
Aaron had told you everything there was to know about Haley and you’ve listened. He knows you adore her. You adore her for the same reasons he adored her. You understood the space Haley had in his life and in Jack’s life, and not once were you ever jealous, immature, or selfish about it. Even though he would’ve completely understood if you were. 
You were nothing but supportive, and understanding, and loving. Even when he didn’t deserve it. Even when you deserved better. Admittedly, there was a point in time when he struggled with coming to terms with falling in love– with you nonetheless. You’re young, ambitious, brilliant, talented, insanely beautiful, and unfairly kind. 
When the two of you had met, this was his profile: divorced with a kid, recovering from trauma that stemmed from being stabbed multiple times in his own home, emotionally unavailable, annoyingly serious and fatally dull– which really makes him wonder what made you fall in love with him in the first place, and even more so what made you stay even when he was bafflingly dense about how you felt about him.  
He didn’t know how long he was standing there, like a deer caught in headlights. Replaying your words and his memories over and over again, slowly coming to the conclusion that you’re absolutely perfect and he’s absolutely gone for you. 
Slowly coming to his senses, Aaron becomes more aware of the silence. The call must have ended while he was having realizations about things. He rounds the corner silently, getting a feel of where you’re facing. Luckily he guesses right, that you’re facing away from him. 
You were rummaging through the fridge– the vegetable drawer if he had to guess, judging by how much you’re slouching and reaching, and the sound of the glass containers you use to prolong their freshness. 
He quickly surveys the scene- your phone is on the counter, beside it is a chopping board with carrots and onions, a carton of chicken broth, Jack’s favorite dinosaur-shaped pasta, and chocolate milk– the one drink you both know can make Jack feel instantly better, happier. 
His heart pinches again. You got up early to make sure Jack had something to eat for breakfast in time for his medicine. You got up early even though you aren’t planning on going to work. You aren’t going to work because you want to stay with Jack. You called Jack your son. 
With so many things running in his head, he stands quietly observing you finding god knows whatever vegetable. Maybe it's the intensity of his stare or the volume of his thoughts, or maybe he started to breathe loudly– but suddenly you knew he was there. He could tell. 
You slowly straightened your back from when you were leaning. Your hands have stopped rummaging through the drawer, and he could see the goosebumps on your legs and shoulders from the way the sunlight hits you through the kitchen window. 
You turn around slowly, as if you were just caught doing something you aren’t supposed to be doing, “I’m so sorry, did I wake you?” grimacing as if it was a crime to be hot and cute and gut-wrenchingly-sweet. 
“No.” His voice is groggy. Deep and rough given that he just woke up minutes ago and hasn’t really used it since. Looking at you through studying eyes, he clears his throat “Uhm, I woke up to get ready for work and you weren’t there.” 
Aaron suddenly feels a little cold. The thin material of his shirt and pajamas doing little to contain what warmth he has left in his body. Or maybe it’s you, maybe his body has sensed that you’re near and is now craving your warmth, making him feel a magnified amount of its absence.
“Oh.. I’m sorry I just wanted to get ahead of cooking so Jack can have soup before he takes his medicine at 8 and since I was also planning to do some work though I’m on leave, it just made sense to get an early start…” You slow your words, noticing how Hotch is studying you tenfold in the moment, as if you were an apparition, “Are you okay? Did you want soup too? I can pack you some before you go?”
His silence makes you panic a little. You can’t really tell if he’s upset about something or if he’s sleepwalking, “Or you can eat here. I mean– you live here, of course you can eat here. I mean like instead of bringing it to the office– not that if you eat here, you can’t bring some anymore.” 
The longer he stays silent, adoring you, the more you scramble to fill the silence, “I’m just– you know you can do whatever you want. You can eat here, there, anywhere. Unless you don’t want soup. I mean we still have leftover steak, I cou–” 
You pause your rambling because you can see a smile starting to form on his face. A real, big smile. Laugh lines and dimples and all, which makes you smile. Realizing how stupid you were sounding and how funny the situation was becoming, you started giggling.
And just as you think he’s about to join the laughter to make fun of you, his smile softens and he says, “Marry me.” 
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part 2 here!!!!!
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hotchnerwrites · 18 days ago
Note
“Enemies to lovers, but only one of them thinks they're enemies. The other has been entirely obsessed since the beginning.” Saw this concept on here and got me thinking—reader works at the bau and thinks hotch hates her, but in reality it’s the opposite and she’s misreading his signals?
Mixed Signals
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: SFW, idiots in love, good ending, swear words
A/N: Hi hi hi hi!!! sorry for the long wait!!! finally have some time on hand from exams and im getting all reqs done!!! chose to go down a dry humour/funny route for this. honestly reminded me of my olive branch fic, except it's reversed ahahah. anyway, thank you so much for your patience. i hope you enjoy this!!!! so much love, mwah mwah mwah <3
My requests are open. Send me stuff! Please read the rules before asking, and be advised there is a slight wait time right now. But I will post for sure. :)
ps- i kind of maybe forgot to proofread so let's pretend any errors don't exist 😬 
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At the end of the day, it was just work.
You all were colleagues— professionals selected for their skills, all crammed together into one bullpen and expected to play nice. That didn’t mean you had to be friends. People were allowed to dislike each other if they wanted. It happened. Tensions flared, personalities clashed, and someone always ate the last yoghurt tub.
And if Aaron Hotchner happened to hate you in particular, well, that was his right. It was just part of the job. And you were aware of it. Oh, so aware. Acute, constantly and embarrassingly aware.
There was no question about it: he hated you. Not disliked. Not tolerated with professional indifference. No— this was loathing. Cold, calculated, deep-in-his-bones hatred. 
You felt it in your blood every time Hotch walked into the bullpen and skipped over you when saying good morning. It radiated from his office like a laser death ray whenever you laughed a bit too loud. 
It wasn’t paranoia. You’d done the math.
Morgan? A nod of approval. Prentiss? Professional respect. Reid? Indulgent patience. Rossi? Best friends. You? Fuck all.
You were sick of the stone-faced silence. And that look he did. That little glance from the corner of his eye, paired with a crease between his brows. Like your presence caused him physical pain. You’d once made a joke in the SUV, and he sighed. Not laughed. Sighed. It was actually quite impressive, how consistent he was about it. 
You’d retaliated by calling Hotch all kinds of names. Mentally, of course. It was childish and dramatic, you know. But no more dramatic than the way he had once corrected your paperwork with a red pen, and hadn’t even told you— just left it on your desk like a cursed object. 
You tried not to take it personally. For a while, it worked. But then he started doing this thing— this new thing— where he’d enter a room, and leave as soon as you walked in. It had only happened twice, but it had been the same excuse both times: that superiors called him away. Suspicious.
So you did what any well-adjusted and emotionally mature adult would do. You went straight to Garcia’s office and told her that your boss hated you and you were going to get fired because he could smell your weakness. She’d gasped, handed you a bejewelled stress ball, and offered to hack into some database on your behalf (you declined, but it was nice to feel loved for a change).
Still, you couldn’t shake it. It seemed like he couldn’t be in your orbit for more than three and a half minutes without the need to file an HR report.
So when the moment came, you weren’t prepared.
●・○・●・○・●・
You were in the briefing room, finishing up your notes after everyone else had gone. The case had closed. People were smiling. Even Hotch had smiled at someone. (Not you. Obviously. But still.)
You were alone now, sorting through crime scene photos, muttering under your breath about timelines, when his voice startled you.
“You missed lunch.”
You jumped. Clutched a photo like a weapon. “Hotch—you can’t just sneak up on people like that.”
He looked vaguely alarmed. “I knocked.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I did,” he insisted, like someone trying to explain doorbells to a raccoon.
You narrowed your eyes. “What do you want?”
He paused. Then, slowly, he stepped forward and—without ceremony—placed a sandwich in front of you. Neatly wrapped. Labelled with your name. From your favourite place.
You blinked. “…What is this?”
“You didn’t eat.” A beat. “It’s been a while since the brief ended.”
“I— I was going to—”
“I’ve noticed.”
You stare at the sandwich like it’s a bomb. Then at him.
“You got me food?”
“Yes.”
“Because you hate me and you’re trying to poison me?”
He blinked. “What?”
“It’s fine,” you said, hands raised in mock surrender. “I respect it. A clean kill. No one would suspect a thing.”
“…Why would I hate you?”
You let out a single, disbelieving laugh. “Are you kidding? You avoid me like I’m radioactive. You only talk to me when absolutely necessary, and even then, you struggle. You sigh when I speak.”
Hotch looked absolutely, entirely baffled.
“I sigh at everyone.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do. It’s a thinking thing.”
You scoffed. “Well, you don’t think around Morgan that much, apparently.”
He exhaled. Then, before you could launch into Exhibit D (the Unspoken Broom Closet Incident), he said:
“I’ve always valued your insight.”
You blinked. “What?”
“Your reports are consistently the most thorough. Your geographic profiling is precise. You’re one of the most detail-oriented agents I’ve worked with.”
You stared at him. “…So you don’t hate me?”
“No,” he said quickly. Too quickly. “Quite the opposite.”
Silence.
You opened your mouth, about to ask what the opposite of hate even meant in Hotch-speak, but he was already turning away, clearing his throat.
“Anyway,” he said, suddenly very interested in the wallpaper, “I thought you might want lunch. That’s all.”
And then he was gone. Just—left. Like he hadn’t just lobbed that cryptic grenade over his shoulder and walked away.
●・○・●・○・●・
You don’t eat it right away. Not because you’re still suspicious—it’s from your favourite deli and has your name written on the brown paper in what can only be described as Hotch's weird, neat serial killer handwriting—but because you're too busy mentally disassociating.
Quite the opposite.
What on earth did he mean?
The rest of the day passes in a weird, slow-motion haze. JJ gives you a weird look when you accidentally sit in her chair. Reid asks if you’ve seen his recent paper, and you blink at him like you’ve just returned from war.
Because you’re thinking. Hard.
Like:
That time Hotch asked if you were staying late and then looked weirdly panicked when you said you were walking home.
The morning you came in limping from breaking your ankle, and he said, “You shouldn’t be here,” in the flattest tone imaginable.
How he called you by your first name once, and you almost fell out of your chair because he never uses anyone’s first names. You chalked it up to a lapse. 
And then. Then, the worst one.
Last month. You’d been coughing like a maniac during a briefing. He had placed a bottle of water in front of you with a dull thunk. At the time, you had taken it to be his passive-aggressive way of saying please shut the fuck up right now. Only to find out later from JJ that he’d actually gotten up and left mid-meeting to get that water for you.
Now you're sitting at your desk rewatching it all in your head like the twist ending of a psychological thriller.
●・○・●・○・●・
You don’t see Hotch again until nearly 6 p.m., and when you do, he’s at his office door, jacket folded over one arm, clearly intending to head out.
You’re not even thinking when you get up and intercept him halfway down the hall.
He stops mid-step when he sees you. “Everything alright?”
“I… need you to clarify what’s going on.”
He exhales like someone who just got caught by airport security. “About what?”
You try to keep your expression neutral, but your heart is pounding like you’re about to ask your boss if he’s mad at you—because that’s exactly what you’re doing.
“You’ve been… weird,” you say finally. “With me. For months.”
Hotch tilts his head. “Weird.”
“You barely speak to me unless it’s about a case. You avoid sitting near me on the jet. I brought cookies in last week, and you took one, then put it back. Who does that?”
He has the audacity to look mildly horrified. “I didn’t mean to put it back.”
“That’s not the point.”
You’re spiralling and he knows it. You can tell by the way his jaw tightens like he’s trying not to laugh. You, on the other hand, are mortified.
“I just need to know,” you continue, quieter now. “If I did something wrong. If I’ve annoyed you somehow, or if you genuinely just… can’t stand me.”
There’s a beat of silence, just long enough to make you want to crawl into the floor tiles.
Hotch runs a hand down his face. “I don’t hate you.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“I—” He pauses, and then, with all the charisma of a man giving a congressional hearing, says, “You make me nervous.”
You blink. “Sorry?”
“You… distract me,” he mutters, like he’s admitting to tax fraud. “I didn’t mean to be distant. I thought it would help.”
“Oh.” It comes out stupidly small, because your brain is too busy cataloguing every single interaction the two of you have ever had and realising, oh no, he was just emotionally repressed and completely, tragically bad at this.
You swallow. “So… you don’t think I’m annoying?”
“No,” he says, almost immediately, and then after a pause, “Not even a little. Not even when you talk over me in briefings.”
You almost laugh. “That’s because you talk like we’re in court.”
“And you talk like you’re arguing with your GPS.”
Now you do laugh, and something about the way his shoulders ease tells you this is maybe the most honest conversation you’ve ever had with him.
You look at him for a second longer, searching his face. “You’re really bad at this.”
“I know.”
“You could’ve just said you liked me.”
“I’m saying it now,” he says, softer.
And okay—maybe Hotch didn’t confess it with a rose in his teeth and violins playing in the background. Maybe it came out like a man filing paperwork for a broken heart. But it’s still something.
“You want to get coffee or something?” you ask.
He nods once. “Yeah. I do.”
You don’t know what this is yet. But it doesn’t feel like work. And this time, he didn’t glare— so, by your standards, that was basically a proposal.
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Thanks for reading! I appreciate any likes/comments/reblogs/follows. Constructive criticism is welcome. Do not plagiarise my content and/or post it anywhere without crediting me.
Dividers by @/cafekitsune
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655 notes · View notes
helaintoloki · 3 months ago
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Somethin’ Stupid
part two
pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
warnings: angst, lots of pining, eventual fluff
notes: part two is here! ty guys for the support and hope you enjoy <3
summary: being forced to go on a mission together allows bucky and y/n to come to an understanding
*part one
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You wake up with an awful hangover and a broken heart.
A part of you had hoped that the events that had transpired last night were merely figments of a dream, a peek into some alternate dimension where you had misjudged your tolerance for alcohol and completely humiliated yourself in front of the man you were hopelessly in love with. But the glass of water paired with a bottle of aspirin and a note from Natasha excusing you from training today proved otherwise.
All it took was a single drunken confession to completely obliterate one of the most dearest friendships you had. How could you ever possibly face him after this? Not only had you completely misread his intentions, but he had responded less than enthusiastically to your profession. You’d seen it in his face, the guilt that swam in his eyes and sympathetic smile that he wore so beautifully despite how badly it hurt you. Though Natasha had cut him off before he could offer a full response, you had enough sense to know what had been coming next.
“I’m sorry kid, but I don’t see you that way. You’re just not my type.”
The mere thought has you reeling all over again as you fight to keep your nausea at bay and clumsily reach for the glass of water. You’re grateful that you’ve been given the green light to essentially lock yourself away in your room and hide in your shame for the rest of the day, but you know that eventually you’ll be expected to go back out there and resume your daily routine. But Bucky was part of that routine, and you feel absolutely pathetic as you realize just how much you’d centered your life around him.
It’s obvious that logic is not your strong suit when it comes to these situations, so it made sense that you felt the only natural solution was to simply avoid Bucky for as long as humanly possible. You’d spar with someone else, maybe ask Natasha to join you for a movie instead, and chase away your own nightmares from now on. Surely this would help you get over him once and for all.
At least that’s what you hoped.
However, you were only successful in avoiding Bucky for a straight week until Steve decided you two were the perfect candidates for a recon mission.
You’d followed Steve around the compound pleading your case as soon as he’d handed you the mission file, but the man was adamant that you were the only one right for the job.
“You’re the only one who can see inside the building without actually having to step foot in it,” Steve had reminded you, his stance firm and his arms crossed over his broad chest as he spoke. “We need to know if these guys actually have any stolen Stark tech on their hands before we risk going in there. Your vision can give us the layout of the building and determine their inventory without them even knowing.”
“If my enhanced eyesight makes me the most qualified then why can’t I just go on my own?” You adamantly protested before handing the file back to him. “It clearly states in the report that I’m not expected to go inside or make contact with any hostiles, so why do I need a partner?”
“You’re going to be too busy scanning the building to watch your own back, so you’ll need someone else there to watch it for you,” Steve reminded you with authority, his tone indicative of the fact that as Captain he had the final say. With a softer tone, he placed a firm hand on your shoulder before giving it a comforting squeeze. “Besides, I think this will be good for you both. A team only works if everyone’s on the same page, so it’s important to me that you two figure things out. Understood?”
“You got it, Cap,” you finally relinquished with a discontented sigh before excusing yourself to prepare for the mission.
You end up in the car garage a few hours later anxiously waiting for Bucky’s arrival. A part of you had considered leaving without him and worrying about Steve’s wrath at a later point, but you knew better than to test your luck. He was right about needing someone to have your back, but you just wish that someone could have been anyone else on the team.
The sound of heavy boots making their way towards you prompts you to lift your despondent gaze towards their own. Despite only having been apart from him for a week, you still find your breath catching in your throat and heartbeat speeding its pace by tenfold as you lock eyes with his stormy gaze. You have no idea what he’s thinking, and you desperately wish your x-ray vision could allow you to look into his head and read his thoughts, but unfortunately that’s Wanda’s speciality, not yours.
“Hey,” he greets with a barely visible smile that makes your chest tighten with longing. You’d think that after being rejected you’d be over him by now, but it turns out it’s true when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
“Hi,” you murmur meekly, absently dragging the toe of your boot along the ground. The air is thick with tension as you both engage in an unwelcome staring contest and wait with baited breath for the other to address the obvious elephant in the room. After a minute, you finally speak, “Thanks for coming along.”
“No need to thank me,” he assures you in the softest tone he can muster, almost as if you’ll run off again if he doesn’t choose his words carefully. “You know I’ll always have your back.”
His reply has you swallowing harshly while your stomach twists itself in knots; this week had been miserable for you, and yet you’d never stopped to consider how Bucky was fairing in your absence. Even if he did only view you as a kid, you still had formed a close bond with the man, and it must have been jarring for him to spend his days unused to your absence. You’d essentially iced him out without worrying about the repercussions, and now here you were forced to face them head on.
“We should go,” you state suddenly in an attempt to avoid any further awkwardness. Bucky opens his mouth to protest but instead chooses to keep silent and grab the keys for his motorcycle. As much as he’s been dying to talk to you about what had occurred at Tony’s party, he knows you both need to be focused on the task at hand, so he instead chooses to offer you a helmet before starting up the bike.
The world almost feels whole again when you seat yourself behind him and wrap your arms around his torso in a tight hold as he begins to speed off to your destination. You’ve missed this closeness, his warmth, the scent of his cologne and the comfort it brings you to rest your cheek against his back as you watch the scenery pass you by. You’re not sure if your relationship with the super soldier will ever be the same, and a part of you wonders if it’s possible to borrow the time stone from Dr. Strange so you can go back and stop yourself from making such a horrid mistake. You’d feel better if you could at least know what Bucky was thinking.
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky was thinking about a lot of things.
Though everyone around him could see how stupidly blind he was to your adoration for him, Bucky legitimately had no inkling of your romantic feelings for him. The shock on his face that night had been genuine, and your confession left him dumbfounded as he scrambled to come up with the right words, but Natasha had whisked you away before he had been given the chance.
Bucky laid awake for hours that night reminiscing on all the times you’d shared together- evenings spent talking for hours until the sun came out, playful teasing over your earpieces during missions, letting you crawl into his bed at odd hours because it helped your night terrors. He could say he was simply being a good friend, a good teammate even, but he knew he’d only be kidding himself. Bucky would do just about anything you asked of him, and he knew it was because deep inside he loved you too.
The word kid had slipped out, but it was meant to be viewed as a harmless pet name. If he knew just how upset it would have made you he never would have used it, and it haunted him every single day you ignored him. He wanted to make things right, but that would only be possible if you gave him the chance.
And right now, it didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon.
~~~
Your eyes are laser focused on the building before you as you nestle into the high branches of a tree and ignore the biting cold from the snowfall. Bucky is perched beside you, gaze constantly shifting as he scans the area for any potential threats to your safety. You’ve been at this for about an hour as you meticulously scan each floor in search of any weapons as well as intel regarding how many people occupy the building. Your eyes are starting to burn from the amount of strain your powers put on them, something Bucky picks up on as he places a hand on your shoulder to get your attention.
“I think you should take a break,” he prompts with worry clear on his features. Though a part of you agrees, you’re too stubborn to relent to his suggestion. This mission is your chance to prove to him that you’re not just some kid he has to babysit; you are just as capable as anyone else, and you want him to see you not as a mentee but as an equal.
“I’m fine,” you insist indignantly before returning your gaze to the weapons base, “you’re breaking my concentration.”
“Y/n, if you put too much pressure on your eyes you’re going to have a crushing migraine for weeks and Steve will have no choice but to bench you from missions,” he reminds you, and though Bucky is only trying to be helpful you feel as if you’re being reprimanded like some child.
“Are you not listening to me? I’m fine,” you grit through clenched teeth. The pressure is getting to you, and this conversation certainly isn’t helping.
“Look, just stop to use the eyedrops Dr. Banner gave you and then-“
“Oh my god, would you stop?! You’re not my babysitter, Bucky!” You finally cry out in exasperation.
“Hey!” A third voice interjects before Bucky can respond, prompting both of you to turn your heads just in time to see a man below raising his gun in your direction. You’d both been so engrossed in your debacle to notice a guard had been sent to search the area, and your little outburst had just given away your hiding spot.
Your head is pounding from the overexertion of your powers, and you’re barely able to register Bucky yelling at you to duck. The man begins to shoot before Bucky can draw his gun, and you’re not quick enough to duck out of the way when a bullet comes in your direction. It shoots straight through your shoulder blade, the force strong enough to hinder your balance and throw you off of the tree branch.
“Y/n!” Bucky cries out, eyes wide as he shoots a hand out for you. He’s barely able to graze your fingertips before you go falling straight to the ground with a strangled cry. The last thing you see is his horrified face before you hit the floor with a defeaning thud.
Everything goes dark after that.
~~~
The lights of the infirmary are blinding as you will yourself to peel your eyes open with a groan. A dull throbbing fills your head as you lift your hand to shield your eyes and attempt to sit up only to be gently pushed back down onto the bed.
“Easy there, slugger,” a voice reprimands teasingly, “Bruce says you shouldn’t be making any sudden movements for the next few days. You didn’t break anything, but you’re bruised up pretty bad and need to be on a five day medication regimen to keep the migraines at bay, and that’s not even mentioning the bullet hole in your shoulder.”
“Natasha?” you murmur hoarsely, barely making out her figure through squinted eyes. Your mind is reeling as you try to recall the events of your mission, and your stomach drops as you recall that you hadn’t been alone when you’d been ambushed. “Where’s Bucky?!”
You try to sit up again only for her to push you back down with one hand while the other uses the control pad to dim the lights in the room. You’re grateful for the pressure it alleviates, but your racing heart does nothing to help your anxious state.
“Bucky is fine,” she reassures you, “he left to get you some water, but he’s been in this room all day since you both got back.”
“What happened? I-I remember arguing with him, getting caught, falling out of a tree…”
“You hit a couple branches on the way down which is why you’re all banged up, but luckily the snow helped break your fall and prevented any further damage. Barnes was able to get you both out of there unscathed, and thankfully Bruce was able to remove the bullet out of your shoulder with minimal scarring. But… I have to say, I’ve never seen Bucky look so worried before.”
“God,” you whine in embarrassment, palms pressing into your eyes as you hold your face in your hands. “It’s like I’m incapable of not making a fool of myself every time we’re alone together.”
“Look, just stop dragging your feet and face the issue head on. You two need to work this out,” Natasha reiterates, her eyes subtly shifting to the man that enters the infirmary with a bottle of water in his hands. “The sooner the better.”
Bucky looks like a dog caught with its tail between his legs as he approaches your bedside, swallowing nervously as Natasha moves past him with a “good luck” leaving her lips as she exits the room and allows you both some privacy. You take the bottle from him with trembling hands and a quiet thank you before finally willing yourself to look at him.
“I’m sorry… this whole mess is my fault,” you murmur remorsefully, fingers fidgeting with the paper label on the bottle, "if I had just kept my mouth shut that night-“
“I’m glad you said it.”
“What?” You breathe out in surprise, unsure if you heard him correctly or if it was just your migraine skewing your perception of reality. Bucky swallows nervously before seating himself beside your bed, a bashful smile playing at his lips as he meets your gaze.
“Look, I know I reacted horribly in the moment, but it was only because I thought you were too drunk to mean it,” he confesses almost shamefully, a flash of guilt present in his features. “It’s hard to believe a woman as wonderful as you would want a tired old man like me, and I assumed it was a spur of the moment thing. But I have cared for you the moment Steve introduced you to us as a new member of the team, and I don’t go out of my way to protect you because I think you’re some incapable kid who needs my help. It’s because… well, it’s because I love you too. And I’m sorry it took me this long to say it.”
Your lips are parted in shock as you process Bucky’s words, your mind racing to catch up as you realize the man you’ve pined for so long is now confessing his love for you. A part of you is scared that this is some sort of concussion dream and that you’ll wake up to find it wasn’t real. But the feel of his hand carefully cupping your cheek says otherwise, and you nearly melt into his touch at the feeling.
“You love me?” You repeat again in quiet astonishment. Bucky lets out a small chuckle in response.
“Of course I do, sweetheart,” he reassures you with an adoring smile, “it killed me to be away from you for so long, and I hate that it took us being shot at for me to finally tell you that.”
“I guess we just operate better on chaos,” you weakly joke, smiling when it earns you another laugh out of Bucky.
“It certainly is our specialty,” he agrees with wry grin. Then, tone more serious now as he moves to take one of your hands in his own, he says, “I love you, y/n, and I’d be honored if you would give me the chance to take you out somewhere nice to makeup for this whole mess I put us through.”
With a soft smile, you give his hand a gentle squeeze and answer, “I’d love nothing more.”
And then, in the privacy of the quiet infirmary, Bucky leans in and steals the first of many kisses from you.
| tags: @cjand10 @wamefou @g1g1l @yes-ilovetowrite @greatenthusiasttidalwave @shanksstrawhat @vicmc624 |
914 notes · View notes
mariasont · 3 months ago
Note
hey girlie, first of all absolutely adore all of your hotchie fics no one writes him as well as you do!! second of all i am dying to read bimbo!assistant! x hotch smuuuutt (only if ur comfortable, pls ignore if not!!) i feel like that would be the only time hotch would have her completely and utterly speechless (idk why but i literally cannot get hotch w a breeding kink out of my goddamn mind!!!!!!) anyways hope ur having a fab day, and thank u for feeding us over the last few days 😘
Space Between Distraction & Indulgence - A.H
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summary: bimbo!assistant!reader want’s aaron’s attention. aaron wants to finish his case notes. too bad for him, you always get what you want
masterlist
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pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
warnings: 18+ MDNI, explicit stuff going on here, fingering, p in v, no condom (bc we trust hotch is responsible but you shouldn’t be), dirty talk, hotch is a boob man sorry not sorry, after care with a side of psychoanalysis bc he can’t help himself
wc: 6k (got a little carried away my b)
a/n: thank u sm for requesting ugh!!!! u all r going to give me a god complex if you keep talking about how i write hotch LOLOL i love u sm hope u like the fic!!
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Saturdays with Aaron had a way of making time feel like something slippery and golden, something you could almost touch before it vanished between your fingers. The mornings stretched long and languid, a lazy kind of indulgence that should have felt endless, but somehow, with him, it never was.
You woke up late. Very late. The kind of late that made you blink at the clock in mild disbelief before flopping back against the pillows. And then there was the warmth. Not just the heat of the blankets, but something deeper, something winding low in your belly.
Oh. Right. The dream. You swallowed, biting your lip as if that might make the memory dissipate. It wasn't outright filthy, but it had been suggestive enough. Annoying. Frustrating. Embarrassing. It was the kind of thing that made you wish Aaron was still in bed.
He wasn't, of course. That would require Aaron Hotchner to do something reckless and irresponsible, like relax. If he wasn't keeping the country from total collapse, he was finding something equally as urgent to fix, probably buried in reports right now, coffee in hand, eyes scanning the page like national security depended on it. And maybe it did. You didn't know.
What you did know was that you'd been circling him all afternoon, orbiting like some needy little planet trapped in his gravitational pull, and he still hadn't acknowledged you. A small part of you, one you didn't want to name, had hoped he'd notice you by now. That he'd glance up, see you, reach for you. But he hadn't. And that was okay. Really. You weren't needy. You weren't desperate.
But you noticed him. You always noticed him. And this version of him, the weekend version, was particularly hard to ignore. The casual clothes, casual for him, anyway, stomped all over your ability to think straight (not that you had much to concentrate on in the first place).
The grey crewneck he had on stretched across his shoulders, molding to the shape of him like it had been made for him. His jeans, worn in all the right places, settled on his hips in a way that made you feel like a pervert just by looking.
Even his hair had you practically drooling. Not messy, of course — Aaron Hotchner didn't do messy — but it was softer than usual, a little mussed, like he'd dragged his fingers through it one too many times without bothering to fix it.
It made him look almost touchable, like someone who should have been stretched out next to you on the couch, letting you mess it up even more, not hunched over a pile of paperwork like the case files were going to disappear if he blinked.
His forearms flexed every time he turned a page, his muscles shifting subtly every time he moved. You didn't even realize how blatantly you were staring until his fingers skimmed up to his jaw, scratching absently at the stubble there. Because now all you could think about was how it would feel under your fingertips, under your lips, under — okay. Enough.
The magazine in your lap was technically open, fingers flipping through glossy pages filled with designer gowns and scandalous headlines. Normally, you'd be all over it, sipping coffee as you devoured the who wore what and who was caught with who. But today, you weren't really reading, you were just holding it, turning pages for the sake of it. Something to occupy your hands while you definitely didn't stare at Aaron.
He had started keeping these around after you mentioned, offhandedly, how much you loved them. You hadn't even meant it as a suggestion, but the next time you visited, there it was, sitting on the coffee table like it had always been there.
He hadn't spared you so much as a glance since you walked in, not even when you'd practically drifted past his desk, close enough that he should've felt you there. He had mumbled a good morning, sure, but his eyes never left the page, his attention locked onto whatever was in that file.
You sigh, loudly. Pointedly. The kind of exaggerated little huff that normally earns you at least a glance, maybe even a what's the matter, sweetheart? There was no reaction today. He just flipped another page, one hand smoothing over the text, the other tapping against the desk like you were completely invisible.
You toss the magazine onto the table, just a little too hard. Then you stretch out on the couch, shifting just enough that his button-down rides up, baring more of your thighs than should be considered decent. The air against your skin makes you hyperaware of what isn't there, only your favorite panties. The tiniest scrap of fabric between you and absolute obscenity. If he so much as glanced in your direction, he'd have the perfect view. But he doesn't.
You sigh again, softer this time, just enough to sound absentminded, like you're not trying to get his attention (even though you absolutely are). As you push yourself off the couch, you stretch a little, giving yourself an extra moment to watch him. You make your way toward him, steps slow, letting the hem of his shirt brush against the tops of your thighs as you move. His fingers flex against the page.
You settle against the edge of his desk, bracing yourself on your elbows, making a very intentional point of pressing your tits together. It's the kind of thing that should be subtle, just a natural consequence of your posture.
Months of Aaron have taught you more than just the way he takes his coffee or how he organizes his files. You've studied him, memorized him even. And one thing has become crystal clear:
He's absolutely a boob man.
You realized it gradually, the subtle stiffening of his posture whenever you leaned a little too close in the office, the way his fingers flexed when your blouse had just a bit too much give.
Then, when you started dating, it became even clearer. His hands never just grabbed, they claimed, like he was making up for all the times he couldn't touch.
His voice would go low, reverent, when he murmured, so pretty, sweetheart, his thumb brushing over your skin like he needed to feel it. And your bras, he had thoughts about those, much to your surprise. Which ones were his favorite. Which ones he hated because they got in the way.
But it wasn't until months later, when he had you spread out beneath him, his mouth hot and urgent against your skin, that he admitted it. His voice was rough, breathless, his grip tightening as he groaned, been trying so fucking hard not to look at these for years. And then, just to prove it, his mouth sealed over you like he had years to make up for.
"Do you need anything? Water? Coffee? Maybe lunch?"
His eyes lift — quick, practiced, almost indifferent.
Almost.
Because before they settle back down, they pause, just for a fraction of a second, right there. Right at the collar of his button-down, where the top buttons are hanging loose, where your skin is warm and soft and practically begging for attention.
But then, before you can revel in it, he's already looking back down. "No, I'm fine, sweetheart."
You bite your lip, actually contemplating throwing his stupid case file out the window. He's either knows what you're trying to accomplish and ignoring you on purpose or he's just that focused. You weren't sure which was worse.
You shove off the desk, but you don't step away. Instead, you step closer. Your hands find his shoulders first, sliding down to his chest as you lean into him, pressing against his back. The shift is immediate. He goes still, his spine going ramrod straight, like his brain has just caught up to what's happening.
Your shirt is paper-thin, your nipples are pressed right against him, and unless he's suddenly gone completely numb, he feels it.
You sink against him, letting your chin rest on his shoulder, breathing him in. Gods, he smells good. Clean, sharp, like something expensive.
You recognized it as the cologne you bought him. The one you picked, the one you dabbed on his wrist in the middle of a department store and grinned, telling him, This. This smells like you. This is the one.
Your fingers skim over his collar, your nails just barely catching against the heat of his skin.
"What are you working on?" You let the question drip from your lips, your voice all honey, sweet, but not innocent.
Aaron hums low in his throat. "Case notes."
"That's boring. Is there anything I can do to help? Your assistant is very willing to be of service."
His fingers pause and your stomach flips. But then, before you can savor it, he moves. His hand finds yours, lifting it with patience. He presses a kiss to your knuckles, featherlight, frustratingly  chaste, before setting your hand back down like you're some good little thing that's been successfully pacified. And then you catch it, the tiniest twitch of his lips.
"Thank you, honey, but I've got it under control."
You make a noise, half scoff, half petulant whine, and shift your chin against his shoulder, angling yourself just enough to shoot him a pointed glare.
"You always say that. What's the point of having such a capable assistant if you're not going to use her?"
"Hmm. So that's what you want? For me to use you?"
"I don't know. Is that an option?"
Aaron's laugh is low, the kind that rumbles through his chest without much warning. It's never loud, it doesn't have to be, but it still manages to send your stomach into a ridiculous free-fall.
"There's just some stuff I need to finish up."
You groan, letting your forehead drop to his shoulder, arms squeezing around him like you can physically hold his attention. Like you can will it away from the pages in front of him and back to you where it belongs.
"Is that your way of telling me I just have to sit here and be patient?"
Aaron's pen doesn't pause. "Mhm."
You huff. "And you think I'll be able to do that?"
His answer is immediate. Too immediate.
"You've survived this long," he says, and you swear you can hear the smirk in his voice. "I think you'll manage."
"Fine," you say after a moment, stepping around the chair before sinking into his lap, giving him plenty of time to stop you, but he doesn't. He never does.
You shift until you're settled, one leg draped over his, chest brushing his. His breath stutters — just a little, just enough to tell you that he feels you. His fingers flex against the desk, pressing harder into the wood, tension rolling through his back as he goes perfectly still beneath you, like he's waiting to see what you'll do next.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing," you hum, arms draping easily over his shoulders as you sink against him. Your cheek brushes his, lips just close enough that if he turned his head, just a little, you'd be right there. "You said you had to finish working. Don't let me stop you."
A slow inhale, a slight tilt of his head, then his pen moves again, like nothing's changed. Like you haven't changed anything.
You exhale against his skin, hiding your smirk in the crook of his neck, fingers idly tracing slow, featherlight circles along the nape of it.
He's humoring you, and that's fine.
You let him pretend for a while, content to exist in the space between distraction and indulgence. You shift in his lap, weight pressing into his just enough.
His body reacts before he does, muscles tightening, his breath slowing like he's thinking too hard about not reacting.
"Sit still."
"I am still," you reply, the words light on your tongue, but the slow curve of your hips tells another story.
"Sweetheart."
You lean in, close enough that your noses brush, your forehead pressing to his as your lips part ever so slightly. "What? I'm not doing anything."
Aaron's breath comes out sharp, ragged, the sound scraping its way from his throat like he's been holding onto it for too long.
His chest pushes against yours, every inhale pressing you closer, every exhale heating the space between you. He leans back, just enough to create the smallest sliver of distance.
You roll your hips again, slower this time, savoring the friction that sends a shudder through you, tightening every muscle in your body with anticipation. The feeling sparks through you, sharp and intoxicating, sending heat pooling in your stomach.
His gaze drops, heavy-lidded, to where your bodies fit together, the rise and fall of your breath syncing with his.
His hands land on your hips, thumbs pressing in, not enough to stop you, just enough to remind you he could if he wanted to. When his eyes meet yours again, there's no rush, no immediate reaction. You knew exactly what it meant and what usually followed, he was just waiting for the moment you tip the scales too far.
"Do you want to tell me what exactly it is you're trying to do?" he asks, his voice low, the kind of tone that makes you forget your own name for a second.
You push against him again, grinding just enough to feel the press of him, the heat of him, and god. Your fingers curl into his shirt, and suddenly, you can't remember what your original plan was.
You shift forward, your body molding to his, your breath fanning against his skin as your lips brush his ear.
"I'm just feel a little... overlooked." Your fingers tighten where they rest, nails digging in to make sure he feels it. "Is it so bad that I want your attention?"
His grip tightens, harder this time, his fingers digging into your hips with a kind of warning you'd be stupid to ignore. The heat of his palms seeps through the thin fabric of his shirt, scorching into your skin like a brand.
"You have my attention." You don't believe him. Not really. You press your lips into a pout, brow furrowing just slightly. "But if you keep moving like that, I might now be so nice about it."
Your hips shift, an instinctive little squirm, testing to see if you can push past his hold. You can't. "I can't help it."
"You can't help it?" he repeats, almost thoughtful, like he's turning the idea over in his mind. "I think you can. You just don't want to."
You want to argue, you really do, but nothing comes out, only a sharp inhale that never quite makes it into words. Because he's right. He knows he's right.
The little noise that escapes your throat is purely instinctual, frustrated but breathy, like your body is already conceding before your mind catches up.
"I told you to stop," he murmurs. He mirrors you, crowding in, his breath skimming your ear. His palm presses into the small of your back, slotting you back into place. "But you don't listen, do you?"
You shake your head without even meaning to, the deafening roar of your pulse making it impossible to think clearly.
"No, you don't," he murmurs, his tone dipping lower, turning darker, more intimate. His hands flex as if to remind you of the control he holds. Then his lips graze your jaw, his breath fanning over your skin. "You push. You test the boundaries. And then you pretend to be shocked when I hold you to them."
His fingers slide down, dragging over your thigh with an almost excruciating slowness. He pauses to squeeze there.
"First, you sprawled out on the couch —" his thumb sweeps over your skin, "like you didn't know exactly how that would look."
Your breath stutters, catches, knots itself into something tangled and messy as his hand moves, sliding higher, pressing firmer, stopping just shy of where the ache blooms.
His eyes darken, the heat behind them smoldering with something deep, something that settles like fire in the pit of your stomach.
"Then you leaned over my desk, practically shoving these —" His hand moves before the words fully land, cupping the curve of your breast. His thumb rolls over your nipple. "— right in my face."
Your breath catches, your hips lifting, your thighs parting like you're meant to be touched. Like you need him there. But he doesn't give in. He just moves lower, slow and taunting, until his palm covers the heat between your legs, pressing lightly over the thin fabric of your panties.
His fingers flex, testing. Feeling.
"And now this," he murmurs, and gods, his voice, his voice, is like a razor wrapped in velvet, smooth and cutting all at once. "You squirm and pout like you don't know exactly what you're doing. But I know better, don't I?"
Suddenly, you don't feel like you know what you're doing. Like you're the one pulling at a thread you don't quite understand, but it's already too late to stop.
A shiver rolls through you, bone-deep, leaving your muscles lax, your body melting into his like you were always meant to be here.
"I'm sorry," you murmur so quietly, you're not even sure if he hears it. "I just... I wanted you to notice me."
Aaron's hum is low, deep, almost amused. His thumb finds your jaw, sweeping along the curve of it as he tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.
"Oh, I noticed you. I always notice you. In fact, you're all I ever notice." His hand slips away from where you want it most. "But if this is the only way you know how to ask for my attention, sweetheart, then I think we have a problem."
His hands settle on your hips, demanding, guiding you over the hard line of his cock, forcing you to take the friction, to feel every inch of him through the layers still between you.
The friction is blinding, sending heat licking up your spine, setting every nerve in your body on fire. Your legs tremble, a sharp, choked sound escaping before you can stop it, and you clutch at his shoulders, nails sinking deep into muscle as pleasure coils tight and insistent in your belly.
"Aaron," his name slips from your lips, high and uneven, like it costs something to say it. Your head bows, forehead pressing into his shoulder, hands trembling against his chest. "I wasn't trying to be bad. I just... I didn't know what else to do."
"No, sweetheart," he murmurs. "You didn't think, did you? And now look where that's gotten you."
His words should sting, but they don't, not when his hands are so gentle, smoothing down your spine like he's soothing something raw inside you. And then his voice, warm and promising, settles over you, "But I'll take care of you now."
And gods, you need him to. He's so hard, the thick length of him pressing against you through denim and cotton, teasing, tormenting. Everything burns — your skin, your stomach, that deep, pulsing ache between your thighs. Your head swims, feverish, your mind caught between more and please and I can't take this. But he knows. Of course, he knows.
"Do you feel that?"
"Yes."
"Good. If you want to keep going, you'll take care of it. Go ahead."
Your hands move with the kind of urgency that betrays just how badly you need this, need him. Your fingers trail down, brushing over the tight muscles of his stomach, and it's almost enough to make you dizzy, just touching him, just knowing what's waiting for you beneath layers of fabric.
The button of his jeans fumbles beneath your fingers before finally popping open. And then you're pulling him free. He's thick in your hand, burning hot against your palm, and something about that, about feeling him like this, for you, makes something feral sink its teeth into you.
And then he finds you.
His fingers slip under your panties, gliding through the obscene slickness there, and you don't mean to react so violently, don't mean to moan so loud, but it rips out of you before you can stop it.
"Oh, honey," Aaron murmurs, almost thoughtful, like he's just now realizing the full extent of your undoing. "I didn't realize you'd gotten this worked up."
Like it's an observation. Like it's fascinating.
His fingers push, stretching you open, teasing just the right spot, and you jerk against him with a sharp, strangled moan. Your grip around him tightens, your strokes turning sloppy, uneven, desperate.
"Aaron —" His name tumbles out high and needy, your head tipping back, eyes fluttering shut.
"I didn't mean to —" Your voice shakes, a hitched little gasp tangled between syllables. "I just —" Your breath stutters, heat climbing, overwhelming. "I didn't know what to do."
"You don't have to know what to do." His fingers slow just enough to let you catch his breath as he murmurs. "You just have to let me take over. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"
Your nod is frantic, almost mindless, as his words echo in your ears.
"Please."
His fingers thrust deeper, and the shock of it rips a gasp from your lips, straight into his kiss. It's messy, frantic, all clashing mouths and stolen air, your breaths coming too fast to match his, like you're afraid if you let him go for even a second, he'll pull away.
Your grip on him tightens without thinking, your fingers flexing around his cock, but the sensation barely registers now, drowned out by the wetness pooling between your thighs, the slick drag of his fingers against your walls.
You can't keep up. You're chasing something that feels just out of reach, your hands leaving his cock, fumbling for something solid, something real. They find his face, fingertips brushing over the rough stubble of his jaw, trying to find yourself in him, in the way he's ruining you.
You kiss him like you can tell him everything that way, like he might understand the ache better through lips and tongues and the way your body trembles under his hands.
And then — he stops. His fingers slip free, and the sound you make is a whine, a protest, your hips tilting, seeking, trying to drag him back in. But he doesn't move, doesn't give you what you need, just smirks against your lips like he enjoys watching you squirm.
"You're so impatient," he murmurs against your lips.
But before you can protest, before you can tell him that yes, yes, you am impatient, please just give it to me, his hands tighten on your hips. And then — oh.
He lifts you, positioning you just right, and then, lowers you down.
The head of his cock pushes inside, and your breath catches, lips parting in a broken gasp. The stretch is devastating, inch by inch forcing your body to open, to yield to him. He's so deep, impossibly deep, and for a second, you forget how to breathe, how to think, your only thought being how does he even fit?
It feels endless, your thighs shaking against his as he takes his time, forcing you to feel every slow, torturous inch. Your body clenches around him, your nails dragging over his scalp as you bury your face against his neck.
"Breathe," he murmurs, voice thick, lips grazing your temple. "That's it. Let me take care of you. You just have to let me in, sweetheart."
"Okay, okay," you whisper, voice shaky as you bury your face against his neck, arms wrapping tighter around him.
His other hand moves, dragging up your spine before wrapping around your waist. And then — he presses deeper.
The air leaves your lungs in a sharp, punched-out gasp. He doesn't stop, doesn't let you breathe, just sinks in, stretching you open until he's fully seated inside you. Until there's nowhere left to go.
"That's it," he groans, voice tight, his mouth ghosting along your jaw. "So tight. So warm. Fuck, sweetheart, you know this is what you were made for, don't you?"
You try to think of something, something teasing, something bratty, something that might tip him over the edge, but your body betrays you, trembling around him, squeezing down so tight you feel him shudder.
"God, you're tight," he mutters, his fingers pressing into your hips, hard enough to leave bruises. "I can feel every little tremble, every squeeze. You feel that, sweetheart? How perfectly you fit around me?"
"It's like you don't want to let me go. Is that what you want, honey? To keep me right here?"
Your body clenches down instinctively, like you're answering him without meaning to, and his breath catches for just a second before his lips curve against your skin. You nod, frantic, a little dazed, a little wrecked, and his chuckle is pure sin.
"Good. Because I'm not going anywhere."
He pulls back just enough to create the kind of unbearable friction that makes your breath catch, your body tightening like a bowstring.
"Every little sound you make drives me insane." His breath drags over your cheek, his lips just shy of touching, like he's teasing himself as much as he is you. "Do you even realize what you do to me?"
You try to answer, you really do, but your lungs don't work properly anymore, your body focused on the pleasure threatening to snap at any second. Your fingertips tremble against his shoulders, your thighs quiver, and Aaron knows exactly what that means.
"That's it. I can feel you trembling, sweetheart. You're so close, aren't you?"
His words strike something deep, something primal, and the fire curling between your thighs roars in response. Your head tips back, your breath breaking apart as your hands scramble for purchase, fingers sliding to his face, thumbs brushing over the roughness of his jaw. You pull him into a kiss that's all hunger, all desperation, your lips parting to let him devour you.
He groans into your mouth, a sound that vibrates through your chest, and then his hips snap up into you. The stretch is suffocating, the sheer fullness of him sending sharp pulses of pleasure up your body with every deep thrust.
"I've got you," he murmurs against your lips. "You don't have to hold back. Just let go for me, sweetheart."
It crashes into you harder than you expected, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. Your moan catches halfway, tumbling out in pieces as your body convulses, clenches tight, gripping him in a way that makes him hiss through his teeth.
He thrusts deep, brutal, final, and then he's gone, his head dropping back as a groan tears from his chest.
He fills you in thick, pulsing waves, each pulse making your thighs tighten around him, making you gasp at how deep it settles. The feeling is overwhelming — the heat of him, the weight, the way his cock still twitches inside you, like he’s unwilling to let a single drop go to waste.
You're not sure where your body ends and his begins, your limbs heavy, useless, boneless as you slump against him. Your breath stutters, still uneven, every exhale pushing against his chest as the last waves of pleasure roll through you.
"You take every drop so fucking well," he murmurs. "Meant to keep you full."
His fingers press into your hips, just a little tighter, just enough to make you feel how deep he still is.
"Don’t move yet."
Your breath stutters, the words landing deep, something fluttering tight in your stomach.
"Just a little longer," he murmurs, his hands absently smoothing up and down your spine. His voice drops, lower, rougher — "I want to make sure it sticks."
You shudder, pressing closer, your face tucking against his neck as everything —the fullness, every drop of his cum —settles in.
Aaron exhales, his chest rising beneath you, and suddenly, he shifts. His grip on your hips soften and slide up, like he can feel the way you're trembling against him. 
"Breathe, sweetheart," he murmurs. "You can do that for me, can't you?"
You try, you really do, but when you inhale, it's a stuttering, gasping thing, barely controlled. Your thighs still shake, your body still throbs around him, and you can feel the way he exhales, like he enjoys this, enjoys feeling you like this, soft and trembling in his arms.
"Easy," he murmurs. One hand slides up your spine, cupping the back of your head, fingers threading into your hair. "That was a lot."
You nod, or, at least, you think you do. Everything feels floaty, light, warm. Your head feels like it's filled with pink clouds. Your limbs feel soft, useless, like you're some well-loved doll that's been played with for hours.
He tilts your chin up, catching your gaze.
"You okay?" His brow furrows slightly, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone.
You blink slowly at him, lips parting, trying to focus.
"Mhm," you hum, then pause, frowning just slightly. "Wait, no — hold on."
His jaw tenses immediately, but you reach up, poking his cheek with a weak, clumsy finger.
"You didn't kiss me," you mumble, like it's the most important fact in the universe. "You're supposed to kiss me after, 'cause, like, you love me and all that."
His head tilts, just barely shaking, like he's in mild disbelief of you. And okay, fine, maybe you do say a lot of dumb things. But this wasn't dumb. It was valid. It was scientifically proven that post-sex cuddles should include at least one (1) I love you and one (1) kiss, and you were simply holding him accountable.
"Of course I love you," he murmurs, like the answer is so obvious, so unquestionable, that it almost makes you feel silly for asking. And then he kisses you.
It's deep, drawn-out, the kind of kiss that makes you forget where you are. 
You're still in his lap, still tangled in the ridiculous, oversized leather chair, but you don't feel like you're anywhere. Not in his apartment, not even in your own body. Just floating, existing in between his lips and yours.
When you finally pull back, it's not even voluntary — just the sad, unfortunate reality of needing air.
"Wow," you murmur, your fingers lazily brushing over his jaw.
"Wow?"
"Mhm." Your tongue darts out, sweeping over the kiss-swollen curve of your bottom lip, like you're trying to catch what's left of him there, trying to savor it. "Like... I feel very wow."
A smirk tugs at his lips, but his hands don't stop moving, don't stop tracing, don't stop feeling. His fingers smoothed absently over your hips, up your spine, his palms blending into your skin. Like he's checking for something. Like he's making sure you're here with him.
And for a second, you think he's about to kiss you again. He looks like he wants to, his gaze flickers to your lips, his hands flex just slightly, his body leans in just a hair. But then his gaze flickers, his lips part slightly as if he'd just remembered something.
"You said something earlier."
You blink again, brain lagging behind slightly as reality creeps back in, still floating somewhere in bliss. Which you felt was a more pressing topic than whatever he's about to say.
Your face scrunches up immediately, like maybe if you look cute enough, he'd drop it. 
"I said a lot of things earlier," you rush out, voice a little too high, a little too hasty, your hand flapping vaguely in the air. "So many things. A real stream of nonsense, actually. I was just saying words, you know, as one does —"
You shift slightly, suddenly painfully  aware of the position you're in, and he doesn't even blink.
"Aaron," you say, narrowing your eyes. "You're literally still inside me and you want to have a conversation right now?"
"Yes," he says simply, like of course he does, like this is completely reasonable, like you aren't still wrapped around him, skin warm and sticky from what you just did.
His brows furrow slightly, and his head tilts in that very specific way that means he's already pulling apart the words, unraveling them like a thread, and working through them with that brain of his before you can even begin to take it back. 
"You said you felt overlooked," he states plainly, like a fact, which you guessed it was. "If that was something you just said in the moment, we can drop it."
His eyes narrow, studying you like he already knows the answer. "But if you meant it, then I want to understand why."
Your mouth parts, ready to push out something easy, something light, something that won't lead to the very real, very terrifying act of actually admitting things.
He was serious. Not angry or annoyed. Just serious. And concerned.
You exhale, suddenly very invested in dragging your nails lightly over his chest, watching the way they disappear into the fabric of his shirt, how his muscles shift slightly beneath your touch.
"I mean... it's not a thing," you mumble, barely glancing up. "More like a thing-adjacent."
"Sweetheart." The firmness in his voice made your stomach flip. It's not a scolding or a warning, just his way of making you hear him. "I'm not interested in whether you think it's a thing or not. I'm interested in whether it's true."
"I mean, I guess... maybe a little."
His fingers flex, like he's taking that in. He nods once, slowly. "That makes sense."
Your brows furrow. "It does?"
"Yes," he states plainly, like it's obvious. "You pick up on subtle changes, even the ones I don't intend to project. And when I get hyper focused on something, I shut everything else out. Not just you. Everyone."
"It's a defense mechanism. A way to compartmentalize. It doesn't mean I don't notice you. It means my brain assigns the highest level of urgency to the task at hand, and everything else, everything outside of that, is temporarily shut out. When I do that, it makes sense that you would feel like I'm not paying attention to you," he continues. "Because in those moments I'm not."
Your breath catches. He says it so matter-of-factly, so plainly, that it almost doesn't sting at first, it just lands.
His grip tightens ever so slightly where his hands rest on your like he already knows how you're taking it.
"But that doesn't mean I don't want to be paying attention," he murmurs, fingers brushing slow, absentminded circles against your skin. "It doesn't mean you don't exist in the back of my mind, even when I'm caught up in something else."
Aaron leans in a fraction, his eyes holding yours.
"Do you know what I did last night after you fell asleep?" he asks.
You blink. "Uh... sleep?"
He smirks. "Eventually. But first, I checked the thermostat. You always get cold at night, even when you say you won't."
Your face warms. "That's just —,"
"And before I left for work last week, I moved your car closer to the building because I saw you left your umbrella at my place."
"I —,"
"And when I'm out of town, do you know what I do every morning?"
You swallow.
"No."
"I think about what you're having for breakfast," he murmurs. "Not consciously. It's not something I try to do. It just... happens."
"You always eat something sweet," he continues, his thumb brushing over your jaw. "It's usually a pastry or something covered in chocolate. Sometimes cake, if we're being honest."
Your scrunch your nose again and he smiles.
"So, tell me," he murmurs, tilting your chin up. "Does that sound like someone who overlooks you?"
Your lips part but nothing comes out. Your heart aches, not the bad kind, but the kind that makes your chest feel too small for everything inside it. Because he's right. He notices everything. Not in the big, showy romance-movie ways but in the little things. In ways that matter.
You inhale a little too hard, blinking quickly, but the stinging in your eyes isn't going anywhere.
Aaron sees it immediately. "Sweetheart."
You shake your head quickly, sniffling.
"I'm not crying," you announce, even though your voice cracks on the last word, which kind of ruins the effect.
He smirks. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," you say firmly, poking his chest. "I just, I feel very loved and now I have to process that."
"Okay," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Do you need time to process, or should I just assume you're going to be attached to me for the foreseeable future?"
"Oh no, you're definitely stuck with me," you declare. "Like, you might need to call someone if you ever actually want me to let go."
His smirk is instant. "You're saying I should alert the authorities?"
You nod sagely. "I mean, that would be the responsible thing to do. But by the time they arrive, I'll have already made a compelling argument about how you should just let it happen."
Aaron huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "I'm sure you would."
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taglist: @readergf @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @broadwaytraaaaash @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @crouchingapple @navia3000 @aaronlovesava @bakugocanstompme @pansexualhailstorm @averyhotchner @looking1016 @everythinglizzy @sky2nd @alexxavicry @spencerssatchel @candyd1es @storiesofsvu @pleasantgardenwitch @kodzukenmaa @hiireadstuff @dilflover-3 @spennciesslut @phoenix-le-danseur-de-pole @jstcln @just-here-to-read13 @c-losur3 @wondergal2001 @oliver-1270 @ssahotchbabe @savagemickey03 @justanotherbimboslxt @imoonkiss @estragos @khxna @de-duchess @raysmayhem-72 @piinksdoll @justyourusualash @whimsicalpolitical @kcch-ns @cool-light32 @reidfile @sugarbutterbailey @ssamorganhotchner @persephonestears @moonyxstars @spookyysinsanity @proxxyshouse @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @imsonotweird @jungchloe @she-wont-miss @duchesz @may-machin99 @historicallyweirdandqueer @in-the-kosmos @lcvealwayss @p13rc3-th3-m4tt13 @babyhoneybyhs @reire11
taglist is closed for now until i can figure out the best way to include more than 50 mentions :(
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xinganhao · 18 days ago
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cherry on top 🍒 mafia boss!seungcheol x reader. (3)
being in a situationship is already pretty hard. being in a situationship with a petty mafia boss who has never dated before? much, much harder. previous chapter + masterlist.
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💰 Expense report filed by mafia financial officer, Lee Seokmin
SUBJECT: Personal Expenditures – S.Coups re: Civilian Target
CATEGORY: GIFTS / SURPRISES
Custom Silk Scarf (Monogrammed with "S.C.") – $1,350.00 └ Ordered from Paris boutique. Civilian target wore it once, commented: "It's soft, but why is his name on it?"
Limited Edition Vinyl Record (Frank Ocean – Blonde) – $880.00 └ Gifted after argument #7. Civilian target was seen smiling while playing track 14.
Midnight Ice Cream Delivery – From Rome, Italy – $4,700.00 (incl. private courier) └ Civilian target said: "You could've just gotten Häagen-Dazs." Boss replied: "This has basil. It’s romantic."
CATEGORY: DAMAGE CONTROL / APOLOGIES
Floral Arrangements (x12) from 12 Different Florists – $2,160.00 └ Delivered over 48 hours post-miscommunication re: "flirting waiter" incident. One bouquet was left untouched in the hallway. The rest were used as Instagram story props.
Therapist Retainer (Anonymous Booking, Civilian Target) – $3,000.00 └ Civilian target has not claimed these sessions. Boss insists it's "just in case she realizes she needs help processing me."
Reimbursement for Civilian Target’s Broken Mug (accidentally knocked over during jealous argument) – $25.00 └ Mug was shaped like a cat. Boss replaced it with an expensive glass tumbler. Civilian target was not amused.
CATEGORY: SMALL & QUESTIONABLE EXPENSES
Custom Engraved Bullet Pendant ("So You Think I’m Scary, Huh?") – $300.00 └ Intended as ironic gift. Civilian target laughed, wore it once to annoy him. Boss framed photo.
Spotify Premium (Family Plan – Only One Member) – $15.99/mo └ Boss created 17hr playlist titled "if i die it’s her fault but i’d still thank her." Civilian target unknowingly listens to it often.
Gluten-Free Baking Class (Online, Gifted to Civilian Target’s Aunt) – $220.00 └ She mentioned her aunt wanted it. He took notes. Civilian target unaware of mafia-funded culinary education in progress.
Donation to Shelter Where Civilian Target Volunteers – $5,000.00 └ Made anonymously. Boss requested they name a puppy after her. They did. Civilian target unsure why a rottweiler named "Beloved" exists.
CATEGORY: UNAUTHORIZED PERSONAL SPENDING
Rental of Entire Rooftop Restaurant for "Casual Talk" – $12,000.00 └ Civilian target refused to show up. Ate ramen alone at home. Boss sat through three-course meal with two phones: one for business, one specifically for her texts and calls.
Suit Tailoring (New Lapels for Better Hug Experience) – $900.00 └ Boss: "She said my suits were stiff. I made them hug-friendly."
Jet Fuel Surcharge – Roundtrip to Seoul, 3 hours total visit – $15,700.00 └ Purpose: "To see her smile."
TOTAL EXPENSES TO DATE: $49,250.99
RECOMMENDATION/S: Immediate financial intervention or a mandatory sit-down with Boss regarding boundaries, budgets, and basic human dating behavior.
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👂 Surveillance transcript filed by mafia soldier, Chwe Hansol
DATE RANGE: ███████████-███████████ LOCATION: Civilian Target's Apartment, Unit 13S BUG #7: Living Room Lamp (Active)
TRANSCRIPT 001 – 23:43 HRS
S.COUPS: Why is there a toothbrush that’s not mine in your bathroom? YOU: Because I live here. And sometimes people visit me. It’s called having a life. S.COUPS: Who visits you? Give me names. Socials. Blood types. YOU: You are so exhausting. [SOUND: Footsteps. Fridge opens.] S.COUPS: Don’t change the subject. That toothbrush has a blue handle. Blue is a masculine color. YOU: Oh my god, are you jealous of a toothbrush now? [SOUND: Prolonged silence. Soft muttering.] S.COUPS: ...It’s suspiciously ergonomic.
TRANSCRIPT 004 – 07:12 HRS
YOU: Why are you folding my laundry? S.COUPS: Because you do it wrong. YOU: What does that even mean? S.COUPS: You mix textures. Cotton with wool. It’s chaos. This is what chaos feels like. YOU: You literally blow up cars for a living. S.COUPS: Yeah, but strategically.
TRANSCRIPT 008 – 14:09 HRS
YOU: Why is there a bag of gummy bears on my pillow? S.COUPS: You said you liked them. YOU: Once. In passing. S.COUPS: I take notes. On everything. You also like your coffee with oat milk and you talk in your sleep about octopus documentaries. YOU: That’s creepy. S.COUPS: It’s called “caring.” YOU: It’s called surveillance. [SOUND: Muffled laughing, presumably from YOU.]
TRANSCRIPT 015 – 00:03 HRS
YOU: Did you pick a fight with your own underboss because he liked one of my photos? S.COUPS: He put a heart and a fire emoji. That’s a double reaction. It’s aggressive. YOU: You are so—so emotionally constipated. S.COUPS: You say that like it’s a bad thing. YOU: It is a bad thing! [SOUND: Struggle noises, unclear. Presumed YOU threw a pillow at S.COUPS and he retaliated by tackling YOU on to the couch.] NOTE: Possible physical altercation turns to intimacy. Redacted for discretion.
TRANSCRIPT 017 – 01:26 HRS
YOU: Stop staring at me. S.COUPS: I’m memorizing your face. Don’t make this harder than it is. [SILENCE FOR 13 SECONDS.] YOU: ...Why is there a tiny blinking light in my lamp? S.COUPS: Oh no. YOU: Did you seriously bug my apartment?! S.COUPS: Okay, first of all, you’re being very judgmental right now. YOU: Because you’re a lunatic. S.COUPS: I'll give you one guess as to whose fault is that. YOU: Take the damn bug out of my lamp, you psycho! NOTE: S.COUPS neglected to turn bug off. Argument ensued; redacted for discretion. Intimacy ensued. Also redacted.
END OF AVAILABLE TRANSCRIPT. ADDT'L NOTE: REQUESTING TO BE MOVED OUT OF SURVEILLANCE DIVISON ASAP.
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📓 Therapy session notes filed by Dr. Boo Seungkwan, licensed psychiatrist affiliated with ████████ Syndicate
SESSION: 3rd of prescribed 10-week cycle
INITIAL OBSERVATIONS: Patient arrived precisely on time, wearing a tailored black suit, slightly wrinkled as though he'd been pacing before arrival. Hair unkempt, hands clenched for most of the session. Eyes noticeably tired. Declined water. Brought a half-eaten bag of gummy bears, claiming "They calm me down. She likes them too."
Presented with guarded posture, alternating between overconfidence and sudden emotional vulnerability. Exhibits hallmark signs of high-functioning control dependence, paired with emotional suppression and limited interpersonal processing tools.
SESSION THEMES
1. Obsession with Control: Patient admits to bugging the civilian target’s apartment ("It was for her safety") and maintaining a detailed log of her daily habits. Claims these measures are a form of care. When asked what he fears would happen without this control, he replied, "She might stop needing me."
Expressed frustration when civilian target expressed autonomy: "She does things without telling me. Like she has a life or something." Tone was sarcastic but undercut with genuine confusion.
2. Difficulty Processing Emotions
Patient struggles to name his emotions beyond anger and protectiveness. When prompted to describe how he feels when civilian target smiles at him, he paused for 47 seconds before muttering: "Like I'm about to combust, but in a good way?"
Displays discomfort with perceived emotional weakness. Used humor and territorial possessiveness to deflect.
Quote: "She called me emotionally constipated. That's unfair. I feel things. I just don't show them. I'm not a chihuahua in a sweater." (Analogy unclear.)
3. Devotion to Civilian Target
His attachment is intense and deeply internalized. He referenced at least eight specific events he organized to make her life easier, ranging from "tailoring suit lapels for better hugs" to "funding her aunt’s gluten-free hobby."
Refers to her as "the only thing that makes me think twice before pulling a trigger."
Appears to be undergoing identity shift: from feared mafia boss to a man attempting—often poorly—to be emotionally available. Indicates willingness to grow, albeit via unconventional and often unhinged methods.
Notable Quote: "I don't know what being a boyfriend means. But if it means checking all her windows are locked and ordering her ice cream from Italy when she's sad, then I'm already trying."
TREATMENT PLAN
Begin cognitive restructuring around concepts of emotional intimacy vs. surveillance.
Introduce grounding techniques for obsessive behaviors.
Assign weekly "emotional vocabulary" journaling.
Strongly recommend cessation of all illegal tracking devices.
PROGNOSIS: Patient displays exceptional loyalty, obsessive commitment, and a deep desire to improve for the sake of the civilian target. Progress will be slow, as foundational emotional processing tools are underdeveloped. However, signs of potential are present.
Patient left session saying, "Don't tell her I cried. But also, maybe do. I don't know. What would make her like me more?" Then insisted that I forward these notes to her, threatening to cease sessions otherwise. Will have to consult with mafia leadership.
DIAGNOSIS: High-functioning attachment disorder with control dependency and romantic maladjustment. Currently treating with compassion, sarcasm, and an iron will.
NEXT SESSION SCHEDULED: ████████
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› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao
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importantpuppystarfish · 1 month ago
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Punishment for disobedience by Hanni
Managers x Hanni
Warning: BDSM, very hardcore & rough, humiliation, degrading, triple penetration, bruises, destroying the body, whipping, sadism, metal rods, total mess, gangbang, anal, treatment like a slave.
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Note: please this is all just a fantasy for reading and stuff, this can be uncomfortable to read so if ur weak hearted or a fluff enjoyer, typically do not read.
Hanni stood at the heart of a lively fan event, her long dark hair framing her delicate features as she forced a faint smile, her right hand raised in a peace sign for the cameras capturing her move. She wore a light green satin dress over a white long-sleeve shirt, paired with black sneakers, her youthful and polished appearance captivating the crowd of adoring fans, her growing fame as an idol under HYPE, one of the most powerful agencies in K-pop industry.
At 18, Hanni had already endured intimate stuff and coercive history with her 8 managers, who had subjected her to sexual encounters since her trainee days, a practice that, while normalized in this universe’s industry, had left her deeply scarred.
As She had grown up, she had seen this as an unavoidable part of her rise to fame, but the cumulative trauma had finally driven her to take a stand—she had reported the managers to a court, hoping to expose their sexual activity with her and break free from their control. She also planned to leave the agency.
Unbeknownst to her, the managers had just received word of her legal action through their extensive network of industry connections.
Today there was a fan meeting of Newjeans. Hanni was there, wearing the same outfit in the picture..
The manager's rage was a palpable force as they watched her interact with fans, their eyes burning with a fury that promised a brutal reckoning. Hanni felt their gazes on her, a shiver running down her spine, but she maintained her idol persona, her smile a fragile mask hiding the terror that had consumed her since filing the court case, her mind racing with the fear of what they might do if they found out what she said in the court.
As the fan event concluded, the 1st manager, a 50-year-old with a commanding presence and a reputation for ruthlessness, approached Hanni, his face a mask of professional calm that barely concealed the storm brewing beneath. “You did well today, Hanni,” he said, his voice low and laced with venom, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her stomach churn.
“But we heard about your little stunt in court. You think you can betray HYPE and get away with it?” Hanni’s heart pounded, her fingers trembling as she clutched the edge of her dress, her voice quivering with fear as she tried to explain. “I… I just wanted it to stop,” she said, a little amount of tears welling in her eyes, her voice barely audible over the lingering chatter of departing fans. “I didn’t mean to betray anyone… I just couldn’t take it anymore… the things you’ve done to me…” The 1st manager’s eyes narrowed, his tone icy as he stepped closer, his presence looming over her. “You’ve made a big mistake,” he snapped, his voice a low growl. “HYPE owns you, Hanni. You’re our slave, and tonight, we’re going to teach you a lesson you’ll never forget. You’ll wish you’d never stepped foot in that courtroom.”
Hanni’s stomach twisted with dread, her mind racing with memories of the sexual encounters she’d endured at their hands—encounters that had started as coerced “bonding” sessions but had grown increasingly violent over time, leaving her body and spirit scarred. She knew their anger would lead to something far worse than anything she’d experienced before, but HYPE’s influence was absolute, and her attempt to seek justice had only tightened the chains that bound her to her managers. She tried to run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moment the fans had dispersed, and she tried to escape, the managers’ demeanor shifted from professional to predatory, their rage boiling over as they grabbed Hanni, their grips on her arms bruising as they dragged her out of the venue and into a waiting black van parked in a secluded alley.
Inside the vehicle, the 2nd manager, a 47-year-old with a sadistic glint in his eyes, immediately backhanded her across the face, the force of the blow splitting her lip and sending her crashing against the van’s interior wall, her head spinning as blood dripped down her chin. “You thought you could betray HYPE?” he roared, his voice filled with venom as he punched her in the stomach, making her double over, gasping for air.
The 4th manager, a 46-year-old with a brutal streak, joined in, grabbing her hair and slamming her face against the van’s window, the impact bruising her cheek and causing her to cry out in pain. The 5th manager, a 42-year-old with a penchant for violence, tore at her clothes with his hands, ripping her light green satin dress and white long-sleeve shirt to shreds, the fabric tearing with a sickening sound as Hanni’s cute screams (AHHHhhh) filled the van, her body exposed in her underwear as the managers continued their assault. The managers smelled her underwear, it seems it was already wet, it smell good. The 6th manager, a 45-year-old with a cruel smirk, forced his mouth onto hers, kissing her with a brutal intensity that bruised her already swollen lips, his teeth biting down hard enough to draw more blood, his tongue invading her mouth as she gagged, her cries muffled by the violent kiss.
“You’ll learn to keep your mouth shut,” he growled against her lips, his voice dripping with malice as he punched her in the ribs, the crack of bone audible as Hanni sobbed, her body trembling from the relentless beating in the confined space of the van, the journey to the hotel a prelude to the horrors that awaited her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon arriving at a private penthouse suite in a luxury hotel, the managers dragged Hanni inside, her torn clothes hanging off her in tatters, her body already bruised from the beatings in the van.
The suite was dimly lit, a large bed dominating the center of the room, surrounded by a table laden with sinister tools: a bullwhip, belts with heavy buckles, some knifes, a cattle prod, a basin of water, a small branding iron with the HYPE logo, multiple metal rods of varying sizes, a spiked dildo, and a metal gag for oral torture.
A mirror was positioned to reflect the bed, amplifying the sense of exposure and dread that consumed Hanni as she was thrown onto the floor, the door locking with a heavy click behind them.
Her breath caught in her throat as the 1st manager stepped forward, his voice a chilling growl that echoed in the oppressive silence. “You thought you could go to court and expose us?” he began, his tone seething with anger, his fists clenching at his sides.
“You’re nothing but our slave, Hanni, and tonight, we’re going to break you for your betrayal. You’ll never think of defying HYPE again.” Hanni’s eyes filled with tears, her voice trembling as she pleaded, her body shaking uncontrollably, blood dripping from her split lip. “I’m so sorry… I just wanted it to stop… please, don’t do this! I’ll drop the case, I swear!”
But her words were met with a cruel laugh from the 2nd manager, his fingers caressing the bullwhip with a twisted fondness. “You’ve crossed a line,” he sneered, his voice dripping with malice. “You’re going to wish you’d never opened your mouth in that courtroom.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It began with a ferocity that left Hanni reeling, the managers’ rage over her court action fueling their power to unprecedented levels.
The 2nd manager smashed the bullwhip with savage force, striking her back, each lash splitting her skin, drawing bruises, the sound of the whip cracking against her flesh mingling with her screams of agony.
She stumbled forward, her hands reaching to shield herself, but the 4th manager grabbed her arms and held her in place, his grip like iron as the lashes continued, her back becoming a mess of welts and open wounds.
“You think you can betray HYPE?” the 2nd manager roared, delivering another lash that left a deep welt across her lower back which left a high amount of huge open wounds in her back.
“You’re nothing, Hanni! You’ll pay for this!” Hanni sobbed hysterically, her body trembling as she gasped, “I’m sorry… please, stop… I’ll drop the case!” The 1st manager watched with a cold smile, his voice cutting through her cries like a blade. “It’s too late for that. Keep going—forty lashes. Make her bleed for her betrayal.”
The whipping continued, each strike tearing into her flesh, her cries echoing through the suite as the managers unleashed their fury.
The punishment escalated as the 4th manager released her arms, only to deliver a series of brutal punches to her stomach and ribs, his fists slamming into her with such force that she doubled over, gasping for air, her body wracked with pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 5th manager joined in, landing a vicious punch to her face, splitting her already swollen lip further and causing a very little small amount of blood to gush down her chin, her head snapping back from the impact, her cheek swelling instantly. “You thought you could ruin us?” the 5th manager snarled, his voice filled with rage as he grabbed her hair and punched her again, this time in the jaw, the crack of bone audible as Hanni cried out, her face a mess of bruises and saliva coming out from her mouth .
The 6th manager kicked her legs out from under her, sending her crashing to the floor, where he and the 7th manager, a 41-year-old, began beating her with their fists and feet, targeting her face, stomach, thighs, and arms, leaving bruises and welts on every inch of her exposed skin.
“This is what happens when you betray HYPE!” the 7th manager shouted, his voice a mix of anger and sadistic glee as he stomped on her stomach, making her retch from the pain, her body curling into a fetal position as she begged, “Please… stop… I can’t take it…”
But the 1st manager’s voice was unyielding. “You’ll take everything we give you,” he said coldly. “You’re our slave, and you’ll learn your place.”
This took darker turns as the managers focused on Hanni’s mouth, their rage manifesting in a brutal assault on her oral cavity, determined to punish her for speaking out in court.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 3rd manager grabbed a metal gag from the table, forcing it into Hanni’s mouth and securing it tightly, the rod stretching her jaw painfully wide, her muffled cries filling the room as drool and some blood began to drip down her chin, her lips already swollen and bleeding from the earlier punches and forced kissing in the van.
“Let’s destroy her mouth for talking to the court,” the 3rd manager sneered, his voice filled with malice as he motioned to the 2nd manager, who stepped forward with a sadistic grin.
The 2nd manager forced his dick into Hanni’s mouth, the metal gag preventing her from closing her jaw as he thrust deep into her throat, the deepthroat causing her to gag violently, her eyes watering as she struggled to breathe, her throat burning from the punishment.
“Choke on it, you little traitor,” the 2nd manager growled, his hands gripping her hair as he thrust harder, the tip of his dick hitting the back of her throat with brutal force, her gag reflex triggering repeatedly as she retched, vomits and saliva mixing as her throat was ravaged.
The 5th manager joined in, forcing his dick into her mouth alongside the 2nd manager’s, the two of them stretching her mouth to its limits, her lips splitting further from the strain, vomits gushing as they fucked her throat with no regard for her suffering.
“Look at her mouth—ruined for HYPE,” the 5th manager laughed, his voice cruel as he thrust deeper, making Hanni choke and gag, her face turning red from lack of air. The 6th manager grabbed a small whip, using it to lash the sides of her face as they deepthroated her, the strikes leaving red welts on her cheeks, her muffled screams vibrating against their dicks as they continued their punishment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 8th manager then took another thin metal rod, and forced it into her mouth, the metal searing her tongue and the inside of her cheeks, her muffled screams intensifying as the heat blistered her oral cavity, her mouth destroyed by the relentless fucking, beating, and deep throat fucks, lots of vomits and saliva pooling on the floor beneath her.
Looks like the punishment escalated further as the managers turned their attention to Hanni’s body, their sadism reaching new heights.
The 4th manager stepped forward with a belt, the metal buckle glinting ominously, striking Hanni’s stomach and thighs with the buckle, the sharp edges cutting into her skin, leaving jagged marks and deep bruises, her body jerking with each blow as she lay on the floor, still gagged and choking from the deepthroat assault. The 8th started fucking her, searing pain making her scream "AAAA noooo" through the gag, the sound muffled but piercing as the smell of her body filled the room, her body convulsing as the beatings left a permanent scar, marking her as HYPE’s property.
“You’ll always belong to HYPE,” the 8th manager said, his voice devoid of empathy. “You’ll never escape us now.” Hanni’s muffled screams turned to whimpers, her mind reeling from the pain as she gasped through the gag, “Mmmph… mmmph… I’ll die.. Please i'm sorry, I,'ll tell the court I lied…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But the 1st manager’s response was merciless. “You’ll take it all, Hanni,” he said coldly. “You’re our toy to break for what you did.”
Hanni’s cries were incoherent through the gag, her body limp as the pain overwhelmed her.
The punishment took a darker, more sexual turn as the managers removed the gag, leaving Hanni’s mouth raw, blistered from the deepthroat and metal rod, her lips swollen and torn, her throat so damaged that she could barely speak.
They forced her onto the bed, positioning her on her hands and knees.
Now, they tied her up in the bed. Her wrists and ankles tied to the bedposts with rough ropes that cut into her skin, leaving her spread-eagled and vulnerable, her bruised and weak trembling as she begged for mercy, her voice barely a whisper through her destroyed mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Let’s show her what happens to traitors who betray HYPE,” the 1st manager said, his voice dripping with malice. The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th managers positioned themselves at her lower end, their intentions clear as they prepared for triple penetration in her vagina. Hanni’s eyes widened in terror, her voice a desperate plea through her ruined mouth. “Please, no… I can’t… it’s too much…” But her cries were ignored as the three managers forced themselves into her pussy simultaneously, the sheer size and force of the three dicks tearing her apart, her vagina stretched beyond its limits, she started to pee as she could not control.. Her urine went mixing with the dicks in the triple penetration, mixing with her cries as they thrust brutally, their movements synchronized to maximize her pain. Hanni screamed in agony, her body convulsing as the pain ripped through her, the triple penetration a new level of torment compared to the sexual encounters she’d endured in the past, her vagina is destroyer profusely as they fucked her more deep.
“Take it, you little whore,” the 2nd manager growled, his voice filled with sadistic pleasure. “This is what you get for going to court!”
Simultaneously, the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th managers focused on her asshole, their punishment reaching new heights as they forced four dicks into her anus at once, which is not logically or scientifically possible, but they managed to do it, gaping her asshole off to human limits, the sheer volume and force causing excruciating pain as her asshole was stretched beyond capacity, the pain far worse than anything she’d experienced in their previous encounters.
Hanni’s screams turned to guttural wails, her body shaking violently as the four managers thrust into her shithole with no regard for her, their anger at her betrayal driving their brutality, their dicks filling her anus completely, the pressure causing her anal walls to tear, feces seeping out as her asshole was destroyed. “Look at her shithole stretch,” the 5th manager laughed, his voice cruel. “She thought she could betray HYPE? Let’s destroy her!” The 7th manager added, “Keep going—let’s see how much she can take before it breaks.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The relentless fucking tore her anal walls further, the pain so intense that Hanni’s vision blurred, her mind fracturing under the assault, the four dicks in her asshole creating a scene of unimaginable part, her body unable to cope with the sheer volume and force. The pressure and damage caused her bowels to release, her feces leaking out onto the bed, mixing with the fluids as the managers continued their punishment for Hanni, their laughter filling the room. “Disgusting little traitor,” the 8th manager sneered, thrusting harder. “Your shithole is ours to ruin.”
This continues as her asshole intensified as the 6th manager grabbed a large, spiked dildo from the table, its surface covered in sharp protrusions designed to inflict maximum pain, and forced it into Hanni’s already destroyed shithole, the spikes tearing into her anal walls as he thrust it in and out.. Hanni screamed the loudest in agony, her voice hoarse from the earlier deepthroat. “Feel that, you little bitch?” the 6th manager taunted, his voice filled with sadistic glee. “This is what happens when you betray HYPE.”
The 7th manager then took a metal rod, heating it over a flame until it glowed red-hot, and forced it into her anus alongside the spiked dildo, the burning metal searing her anal walls, causing Hanni to scream louder than ever, her body convulsing as the pain seared through her, the heat blistering her insides as more liquids poured out from her anus which left gaping and unusable.
The 5th manager grabbed another heated metal rod, forcing it into her vagina, the burning metal searing her vaginal walls, the pain so intense that Hanni’s screams turned to incoherent wails, her body shaking uncontrollably as the heat blistered her insides, the penetrations and burning rod creating a scene of unimaginable sadism, her vagina and anus both destroyed by the relentless fuckings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 7th manager dragged Hanni’s head to the edge of the bed, positioning her so that her head hung off the side, her mouth forced open as he and the 8th manager took turns deepthroating her again, their dicks thrusting into her throat.. They took 3 large dildos and tried to insert it on her mouth too.. two dicks and 3 dildos stretching her mouth to its limits, her lips tearing further, vomits and saliva mixing with the burns as they fucked her throat, her gag reflex triggering repeatedly as she choked, her face turning more red from lack of air. “Look at her mouth—completely ruined,” the 7th manager laughed, his voice cruel as he thrust deeper, making Hanni choke and gag, her destroyed mouth.
The scene is still the same, Hanni on her hands and knees, tied to the bedposts, her body a mess of her body waste, bruises, and burns. Three managers—the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th—were at her lower end, their dicks triple-penetrating her vagina, then after that they insert a heated metal rod forced in, burning her vaginal walls and again taking it out as they thrust brutally, her pussy torn.
Similarly Four managers—the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th—were at her anus, their four dicks filling her shithole, a spiked dildo and another heated metal rod forced in as well after, tearing and burning her anal walls, liquids and feces leaking out as her anus was destroyed.
The 7th and 8th managers were also at her head, their dicks deepthroating her alongside the 3 dildos burning her mouth and throat as they fucked her face, her lips torn and blistered, vomits and saliva gushing as her mouth was ruined, the mirror reflecting the scene of 8 men destroying her body in every way possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally to end it, the 7th manager dragged Hanni to the toilet.. There was a bathtub of water, they took her there, tying her hands behind her back, her swollen lips and destroyed mouth trembling as she begged for mercy through her ruined oral cavity.
He forced her face onto the bathtub full of water, poured more water over it, waterboarding her until she choked and gasped, her body thrashing in panic, the water mixing with her destroyed mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Feel that, Hanni?” the 7th manager taunted, pouring more water as she struggled to breathe. “This is what happens when you betray HYPE. You’re nothing—just a toy for us to destroy.”
Hanni’s voice was a desperate wheeze as she begged, “I can’t… breathe… please…” The 5th manager, still recording, laughed coldly. “Keep going. I want to capture her breaking completely.” The waterboarding left Hanni trembling, her mind fractured by the terror of near-drowning, her body soaked and shivering as the managers moved on to the next torment. Hanni was feeling like she was getting drowned in a river.
The managers then pissed onto the water bathtub, further more degrading Hanni as they forced her face inside the water more, letting her drink the water mixed with their piss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The final layer of torment was psychological, designed to shatter Hanni’s mind as thoroughly as her body. The managers forced her to face the mirror, making her watch as they continued their acts, her reflection of the image of her in waste, burns, bruises, blood, a destroyed mouth, and a ruined gapped anus . The 5th manager played back the recorded footage on a screen, forcing her to relive her screams and cries, his voice mocking as he spoke, the camera zooming in on her swollen lips and blistered mouth. “Say it, Hanni,” he demanded, his tone cruel. “Say you’re a worthless slave who deserves this for betraying HYPE.”
Hanni’s voice was a broken whisper through her destroyed mouth as she repeated, “I’m… a worthless slave… I deserve this… for betraying HYPE…” The 4th manager laughed, his voice dripping with contempt. “That’s right. You’re nothing without us. You’ll never forget this night.” They took turns degrading her, calling her vile names and forcing her to beg for more pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hours later, the punishment finally ended, leaving Hanni a broken shell on the floor of the suite, her body a canvas of unimaginable horror—deep welts and lacerations from the whip, jagged cuts and bruises from the belt buckles, punches, and beatings, a branded HYPE logo on her hip, the word “HYPE” carved into her thigh, burns from the electric shocks and heated metal rods, a destroyed mouth with swollen, and blistered lips and a throat raw from deepthroating and burning, a vagina torn and burned from the triple penetration and metal rod, and a ruined anus that gaped open, from the four dicks, spiked dildo, and burning rod. Her body was a testament, every inch of her marked by their cruelty. She was barely conscious, her mind shattered by the psychological torment, her voice reduced to faint whimpers as she muttered through her ruined mouth, “I’ll be good… I’ll do anything…”
The 1st manager is satisfied. “She’s done,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion. “We’ve broken her completely. She’ll never betray HYPE again.”
the 2nd manager smirked, putting the whip away. “She was fun to break. Too bad she’s such a mess now—hope she can still perform.”
The 5th manager stopped the recording, his voice smug. “This footage will keep her in check. If she ever tries to go to court again, we’ll release it. She’s ours forever now.”
The 7th manager glanced at Hanni’s broken form, his tone indifferent. “Get her cleaned up enough to move. We can’t have her like this on us yet—she’s got more events to do for HYPE.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The managers called in a private doctor loyal to HYPE, who patched Hanni up —cleaning her wounds, bandaging the worst cuts, stitching her torn lips, and giving her painkillers to dull the agony, though her destroyed anus, vagina, and mouth were left untreated, the damage too severe for immediate repair. They did care about her long-term recovery but as for now, they only needed her for her next scheduled appearance, her value to HYPE tied to her ability to perform, even in her broken state.
They dressed her in a long-sleeved outfit to cover the marks, applied heavy makeup to hide the bruises and swelling on her face, and told her to act normal at her next event, using the recorded footage as leverage, the images of her destroyed mouth, body, and leaking anus a constant threat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Days later, Hanni was forced to attend a small fan signing session, ofcourse she was not able to walk.. Haerin, Daniellie, Hyein are confused why Hanni was acting weird.
her body still in agony, her wounds fresh and some infected, her anus, vagina, and mouth so damaged that she could barely sit or speak. She was heavily medicated with painkillers and sedatives, her movements slow and her expression vacant, but she gave a weak smile for the fans, her hands trembling as she signed autographs, her swollen lips making her speech slurred and barely intelligible.
A fan approached, her voice bright with excitement. “Hanni, you’re my favorite! You looked so happy at the last event—I love your peace sign pose!” Hanni’s voice was monotone as she replied, her words barely audible through her ruined mouth, “Thank you… I’m glad you liked it…” Her mind flashed back to the punishes, her body aching beneath the makeup and long sleeves, the pain in her destroyed shithole, pussy, and mouth a constant reminder of her punishment. The 1st manager stood nearby, his voice a harsh whisper. “Keep smiling, Hanni. Don’t let them see what a mess you are. You know what happens if you betray HYPE again.” Hanni nodded slightly, her voice barely audible through her swollen, blistered lips. “Yes, sir… I’ll be good…”
667 notes · View notes
eimiette · 8 months ago
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late nights
࣪★ ⋆ ˙ ۪ ݁ 𓈒 ── SPENCER REID
SUMMARY: in the quiet moments between solving cases and late night paperwork, you and spencer blur the lines between friendship and something more, navigating the unspoken tension with stolen kisses in dark corners of the bau evidence room. GENRE: smut with plot, idiots in love (again, sorry) CW/TAGS: soft!dom spencer (duh), exhibitionism?, piv sex, oral f!receiving, lots of banter, est!fwb relationship, reader is referred to as a girl, praise asf.
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the bullpen was nearly deserted, save for you and spencer reid, who were still chained to your desks, slogging through the seemingly endless pile of paperwork. the hum of the overhead lights and the occasional rustle of paper filled the quiet. everyone else had long since headed home, but you were too stubborn to leave until the job was done—and spencer was, well, spencer.
you glanced over at him, amused by how intensely he was concentrating on his work. his brow was furrowed, and his pen moved quickly over the report, as if he were solving a puzzle instead of filling out the same tedious forms as you. the sight made you smirk.
“hey, genius,” you called out, breaking the silence. “you got a second?”
he didn’t bother looking up. “for you? always,” he replied, his tone so casual it almost sounded sincere.
“great. i need your help in the evidence room,” you continued, stacking up a few files on your desk. “figured you could speed things up with that supercomputer brain of yours.”
he finally looked up, quirking an eyebrow. “and what, exactly, do i get out of this arrangement?”
you grinned. “the satisfaction of knowing you’re contributing to a more organized workspace. and, you know, my eternal gratitude.”
spencer sighed in mock resignation, setting down his pen. “fine. but only because i can’t stand to watch you fumble around in there any longer.”
you laughed as you led him down the hallway. “oh, please. we both know you live for this stuff. reorganizing the evidence room? it’s like christmas came early for you.”
he rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked up in a small smile. “if this is your idea of christmas, remind me not to accept any holiday invitations from you.”
you reached the heavy door of the evidence room and pushed it open, flipping on the overhead light. “i don’t know, i think you’d have fun. nothing like a little chaos to keep you on your toes.”
“or give me a migraine,” spencer muttered, stepping inside and taking in the rows of shelves filled with boxes and files. “alright, what’s the plan?”
“simple,” you said, setting the files down on a metal table in the center of the room. “we’ve got to merge these old case files into the new system. you’re a walking rolodex, so i’m counting on you to make this as painless as possible.”
he shot you a sideways look. “i see. so i’m just here to do all the thinking?”
“you got it,” you replied with a grin. “and i’m here to provide moral support and keep you entertained.”
“lucky me,” he said dryly, but there was a spark of amusement in his eyes as he crouched down to examine the boxes on the lower shelves. “i hope your idea of entertainment is better than your idea of organizing.”
you crouched down beside him, nudging him with your shoulder. “you wound me, reid. i thought we were in this together.”
he snorted softly. “yeah, together in the sense that i’m doing all the work, and you’re supervising.”
“hey, i’m contributing,” you shot back, pulling a box toward you. “i’m providing witty commentary. keeps things interesting.”
he shook his head, but his smile grew. “i’ll give you that. it’s definitely not boring.”
you fell into an easy rhythm, working side by side as you sorted through the files. the banter flowed naturally, the quiet hum of the evidence room providing a backdrop to your back-and-forth. every now and then, you’d catch spencer watching you out of the corner of his eye, and each time, he’d quickly look away, like he’d been caught at something.
at one point, you both reached for the same box at the same time, your hands brushing. you felt a spark of something—maybe it was just static, maybe it was more—and you glanced up to find him looking right at you, closer than you realized.
“careful,” you said with a smirk, your voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “people might think you’re trying to hold my hand.”
he didn’t move his hand away. instead, his eyes held yours, the corner of his mouth lifting. “like what? that i’m trying to be helpful?”
you chuckled. “or that you’re trying to get handsy.”
he smirked. “not sure that’s a compliment”
you scoffed, shaking your head. “it’s not. but you know, you keep this up, and someone’s gonna catch on.”
“maybe,” he replied, his voice low, “but that didn’t stop you last time.”
you rolled your eyes, leaning in slightly. “last time, we were off the clock. think you can pull this off at work?”
reid's eyes hung low,“i’m a fan of multitasking. besides, you always say i need to get out of my comfort zone.”
you gave him a playful smirk, leaning in closer. “is that what you’re calling this? because it feels more like you’re trying to test your luck.”
reid’s eyes widened, feigning innocence. “i’m just here to help you with the evidence. if you’re reading anything more into it, that’s all on you.”
you raised an eyebrow and he let out a soft chuckle, his hand lightly brushing your arm. “i promise, i’m just focused on finding those files. though if you think my intentions are less than professional, well, maybe you’re the one with a wild imagination.”
you let your hand trail lightly along his chest, raising an eyebrow. “oh, i’m sure you’re ‘focused,’ but i don’t think it’s on the evidence files.”
reid’s smile widened, his gaze dropping to where your hand rested. “noticed, did you? guess i can’t help but be a little distracted when you’re this close.”
you held your breath as reid gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering to cup your cheek. the touch was soft, but the way he looked at you made your pulse quicken.
“you know,” he began, his voice low and earnest, “i’ve been thinking about you all night. can’t seem to focus on anything else.”
you raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “oh? and why’s that?”
he let his fingers trail gently down from your cheek to your waist, his touch making you shiver slightly. “partly because you’re wearing that skirt. it’s just... distracting.”
you felt a jolt at his touch, his fingers brushing lightly under the hem of your shirt. “distracting, huh? how so?”
reid’s gaze dropped to where his hand rested on your waist, his fingers barely grazing your skin. “every time i tried to work, all i could think about was how you looked—how you’ve been driving me fucking insane since you walked in.”
his fingers trailed lightly under the bottom of your shirt, his touch gentle and deliberate. you held your breath, feeling the heat of his hand against your skin.
“you’re making it really hard to stay professional,” he continued, his voice low and husky. “i keep imagining what it’d be like if you were closer, if i could...”
you felt a rush of warmth at his words and his touch. “and what if i don’t mind a little distraction?”
reid’s eyes flickered with a mix of desire and appreciation. “if that’s the case, then i’m more than happy to be distracted.”
without warning, reid’s body pressed against yours, and you could feel the raw heat emanating from him. his lips were soft yet demanding as they captured yours, and your hands instinctively reached up to entangle in his hair. the sensation of his lips moving against yours was electrifying, making your heart race and your skin tingle.
reid's hands found your waist, gripping tightly as he maneuvered you backwards. your back collided with the smooth surface of a nearby desk, papers scattering to the floor unheeded. in one fluid motion, he lifted you onto its edge, positioning himself between your legs. the wood was cool against your flushed skin as reid pressed his body flush against yours.
his lips broke away from your mouth, trailing a searing path along your jawline. you tilted your head back with a soft gasp, granting him better access as he kissed down the column of your throat. his breath was hot against your skin, each exhalation sending tingles of electricity coursing through your body.
reid's voice was low and husky as he murmured against your neck. "you're so pretty," reid whispered, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. his lips brushed against your skin as he spoke, the sensation igniting sparks of pleasure. "been wanting you all day beautiful."
his hands roamed your body, leaving trails of heat in their wake. you felt yourself responding, a familiar warmth building low in your belly. reid's fingers danced along your curves as he continued murmuring praises and promises.
"’gonna make you feel so good," he purred, nipping gently at your earlobe.
your breath hitched as his words and touch inflamed your desire. you pressed closer, craving more contact. a soft moan escaped your lips as reid's hands found sensitive spots, expertly stoking your arousal.his hands slid up your thighs, pushing your skirt up to expose your bare skin. his fingers dipped under the lace of your panties, tracing tantalizing patterns. he leaned in to kiss you again, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. you could taste the sweetness of the coffee he'd had earlier as his tongue explored your mouth.
with a growl, he tugged at your panties, sliding them down your legs and tossing them aside. the cold metal of the desk against your bare skin made you gasp, but the shock quickly dissipated as reid's fingers found your slick folds. he stroked your clit, eliciting a breathy moan.
your body arched involuntarily as his fingers brought you closer to the edge. "fuck, spence..."
reid smirked, his eyes dark with lust. "god, you're so wet already," he groaned, his voice husky with desire.
he leaned down to kiss you again, swallowing your moans as his fingers continued their maddening rhythm. his other hand cupped your breast, squeezing gently through the fabric of your shirt. you were lost in the sensations, your body moving in sync with reid's.
he broke the kiss, his eyes raking over you hungrily, “"i want to taste you so badly."
without waiting for a response, he knelt before you, spreading your thighs. his lips grazed the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, causing a rush of pleasure. his breath was hot and intoxicating as he worked his way up, teasing you.
“spread your legs baby, that’s it… wider.” his hands slid up your calves, his palms rough against your skin. his fingertips danced along your thighs, sending waves of electricity coursing through you.
his voice was low and commanding, sending shivers down your spine. you obeyed, your knees falling apart, revealing yourself to him.
reid's tongue traced along the crease where your thigh met your hips, teasing you.
“spence…” you whined, arching into him, craving his touch.
his hands slid higher, pushing your skirt further up and exposing your soaked center. he licked his lips, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"fuck, baby, you look so good like this." he leaned in, his lips ghosting over your core. "so pretty and wet... so ready for me."
a whimper escaped your throat as his breath washed over you. your hands tangled in his hair, tugging gently, urging him to continue. he complied, his tongue flicking out to trace the outline of your lips. you shuddered at the sensation, your hips bucking involuntarily.
reid's fingers dug into your thighs, holding you in place as he lapped at your center. you moaned, your head falling back against the desk.
"tastes so good," he groaned, his breath hot against your skin.
you rocked your hips, grinding against his mouth, desperate for more friction. he responded, his tongue circling your clit, teasing you.
"spence..." you panted, your voice hoarse.
his eyes flicked up to meet yours, his pupils dilated with lust.
"yes?"
"i need... please..."
"what do you need, baby?"
you bit your lip, struggling to form words.
"please, spence, i need you. i need you inside me. please."
your words sent a visible shudder through him. he pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with desire.
"since you asked so nicely..."
with a groan, he stood, undoing his belt and zipper with frantic urgency. his cock sprang free, hard and aching. you reached for him, wrapping your fingers around his shaft, stroking him slowly. he pressed his lips to yours, capturing your mouth in a heated kiss.
reid's lips never left yours as his hand shifted to his back pocket, smoothly pulling out his wallet. his movements were quick but deliberate, fingers deftly sliding inside to retrieve a condom. as he did, you began unbuttoning his shirt, your fingers working swiftly down the row of buttons, each one exposing more of his skin. his breath hitched slightly at the sensation of your touch, his focus torn between getting the condom and the feel of your hands on him. you could feel his muscles tensing under your fingertips as you pushed his shirt open, and he held the condom up with a small, breathless grin, his eyes locked on yours.
he tore the wrapper open and rolled the condom onto his cock with practiced ease. with a soft moan, he positioned himself between your thighs, his erection pressing against your entrance. you gripped his shoulders, lifting your hips slightly to meet him, impatient and eager.
he pressed his lips to yours, his tongue darting out to taste you. you moaned softly, returning his kiss, your tongues dancing together.
"spence, please."
he nodded, his eyes fluttering shut as he pushed into you.
you gasped at the sensation, your body arching off the desk, desperate for more. he was hot and hard, stretching and filling you, setting every nerve ending on fire. he began to move, slow and steady, his eyes locked on yours.
"you feel so good, pretty girl," he groaned, his voice husky.
he gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh, guiding you as he increased his pace, “"wrap your legs around my waist."
your body complied without thought, locking him into place. the change in angle had you gasping and moaning as the delicious friction sent waves of pleasure coursing through you.
reid's eyes fluttered shut, his head falling forward, his lips brushing against yours. he guided your back to the desk top and held you there, thrusting into you, his pace relentless.
your breath was coming in short, shallow gasps as the pressure built inside you. your fingers dug into his shoulders, anchoring yourself to him as you climbed toward the peak.
"don't close your eyes, baby. look at me."
you forced your eyes open, meeting his gaze, losing yourself in his brown eyes.
"that's it, beautiful. so fucking beautiful," he praised.
he shifted his weight, changing the angle once again, his hips grinding against yours.
the sensation was too much, and you felt yourself tumbling over the edge, your orgasm ripping through you.
spencer buried his face in the crook of your neck, groaning as you clenched around him, milking him. he thrust into you once, twice, and then he was coming, his body shuddering with pleasure.
the two of you collapsed in a sweaty, panting heap, reid's weight pinning you to the desk. you lay there, his heartbeat thudding against yours, his breath hot on your skin.
sitting up from the desk, you felt a gentle, lingering warmth from the moment as you stretched. reid stepped closer, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the side of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. his touch was tender but filled with the lingering heat of the encounter.
with a gentle hand, he guided you to your feet, helping you up from the desk. as you stood, your legs trembled slightly. you pulled up your skirt as spencer also redressed. “so,” you teased, nudging his side, “is this where you quote some obscure fucking statistic about how good sex improves cognitive function or something?”
reid chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with that familiar spark of mischief. “actually, studies show that it releases a significant amount of oxytocin, which can enhance bonding and trust. not that you needed an excuse.”
you rolled your eyes, helping him button up his shirt “trust you to turn this into a science lesson. oh my god you might as well give a damn ted talk on the benefits of cuddling?”
“maybe i will,” he replied, his fingers gently massaging your back. “did you know cuddling for 10 minutes releases enough endorphins to improve mood significantly?”
you let out a dramatic sigh, though a smile tugged at your lips. “spencer reid, you are a fucking nerd, and i mean that affectionately. but at least you’re a nerd with good hands.”
he grinned, shifting a little closer. “i’ll take that as a compliment. besides, i think i deserve some credit for that multitasking earlier.”
you laughed, your head resting against his chest. “okay, fine. you did okay. maybe even a little better than okay.”
“a little?” he scoffed, feigning offense. “i think i deserve more than ‘a little better than okay.’”
reid’s expression turned serious, though his eyes were still light and looked at you with affection. “as much as i’d love to bask in compliments, we do have paperwork to finish.”
you sighed, lifting your head to meet his gaze. “i’ll deal with hotch’s scolding in the morning. for now, how about we skip the paperwork and head to my place?” you pouted, pleading with your eyes and held your hands behind your back, feigning innocence as you waited for his response.
reid’s smile softened, clearly charmed by your playful act. “you know, i don’t think i can say no to that.”
you grinned up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “this is exactly why you’re my best friend.”
reid smirked, his arms encircling your waist. “glad i’m still in the running for that title.”
he leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead before pulling back with a fond glint in his eyes. with a shared laugh, he guided you out of the office. as you both made your way to the parking lot, your giggles echoed in the hallway like a couple of a couple of teenagers sneaking out past dark.
1K notes · View notes
gf2bellamy · 1 day ago
Note
Hear me out…reader on Spencer’s glasses and he’s struck by how pretty she looks. Or, reader puts her glasses on at work after her contacts dry out, and the team tease her for her glasses, but Spencer can’t help but find them adorable
pretty — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: fluff a/n: i went with the first idea !! such a cute one <3
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Spencer Reid took off his glasses for two seconds.
Literally.
Just long enough to scrub the sleep from his eyes, to blink away the exhaustion that clung to him after hours of staring at case files. The team had been working nonstop, and even his brilliant mind was starting to fog over. He set the glasses down on the table, rubbing his face with both hands before letting out a long, slow breath.
And that was all the opportunity you needed.
You had been bored out of your mind—stuck in the same chair for what felt like eternity, flipping through the same reports, waiting for something to happen. So when Spencer’s glasses sat there, unattended, you acted on impulse.
You snatched them up before he could even register they were gone.
Spencer didn’t notice.
He was too busy yawning, his jaw cracking as he stretched his arms above his head, his eyelids heavy. For a second, you thought he might actually slump forward and pass out right there on the table.
Grinning to yourself, you unfolded the glasses and slipped them onto your face.
The world immediately blurred.
Wow. You hadn’t realized just how bad his eyesight was.
Everything beyond your own hands was a hazy mess of shapes and colors. You blinked a few times, adjusting, but nope—still useless. How did he function like this?
You were still grinning when Morgan walked in.
His sharp eyes landed on you immediately, and a slow, amused smirk spread across his face.
“Well, look at you,” he said, voice loud enough to make Spencer jolt slightly in his seat. “Looking all nerdy.”
Spencer turned toward him, squinting—which was generous, because without his glasses, he could barely make out more than vague blobs of color. But then his gaze shifted to you, and his breath hitched.
There you were, his glasses perched on your nose, your lips curled in a playful smile.
“How do I look?” you asked, tilting your head.
Spencer’s mouth fell open.
He didn’t answer. Couldn’t.
Because you looked nice.
No, not just nice.
Pretty.
Really pretty.
Something about seeing you in his glasses made his chest tighten in a way he couldn’t explain.
Morgan dropped into a chair across from you, his smirk deepening as he watched Spencer’s dumbstruck expression. “Took the words right out of his mouth. Literally.”
You giggled, reaching up to take the glasses off, but Spencer’s hand twitched forward before he could stop himself.
“No—you, uh. You can leave them on. If you want.”
Your eyebrows lifted.
Spencer swallowed, heat creeping up his neck. “You… uhm. You look very pretty.”
The words came out in a rushed mumble, barely audible, but you heard them. A soft warmth spread through your chest as you bit back a smile.
“Thanks, Spencer,” you said, deliberately ignoring Morgan’s quiet chuckle from across the room.
But then you carefully slid the glasses off anyway, holding them out to him. “I think you might need these more than I do.”
Spencer’s lips twitched into a subconscious pout before he could stop himself.
“You know,” you teased, “to see things.”
He turned even redder, suddenly mortified by his own words. Why would he tell you to keep them on? He obviously needed them to see.
But before he could spiral further, you leaned forward in your chair.
Spencer’s breath caught.
Your fingers brushed against his temples, gently sweeping his hair back as you carefully slid the glasses onto his face. You nudged them up the bridge of his nose with a light touch, your fingertips lingering near his skin just a second too long.
Spencer stared at you, wide-eyed, his pulse hammering in his throat.
“You look pretty too with them on,” you murmured, your voice softer now, almost intimate.
Both of you were silent.
Spencer stared at you. Wide eyed. Mouth hanging wide open.
And then Morgan cleared his throat.
“Is he still alive?”
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aliteralsemicolon · 9 months ago
Text
I'll wait for your love - 18+
See part 1 | See Part 2 | Part 3 of We can't be friends (wait for your love)
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The only thing you’re sure of is that you don’t want things to go back to the way they were and Spencer agrees that change may be for the best.
Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW and contains graphic depictions + detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact!  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. 
WARNINGS: Panic attack mentioned, slight PTSD depictions, case details (barely) mentioned, alcohol mentioned like once. Smut (not the focus at all): making out, nipple play, clitoral stimulation, praise, use of pet names (angel, pretty girl, etc). Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 10.4K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
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Avoiding Spencer wasn’t overly difficult on the flight back to D.C. You weren’t entirely sure how to face him after he risked his life for you, so you just pretended to be asleep the whole time. You even took a separate jeep from the tarmac to avoid a car ride back with him, and almost made a clean getaway to your car in the parking lot when Hotch stopped you. 
“I’m sorry to hold you back, but I do need the Anchorage report on my desk before tomorrow morning. It can’t be put off any longer.”
He looked extremely apologetic and you understood. You’re grateful he gave you as much time as he has. That’s how you ended up stuck at work til the later hours of the evening. Besides the few workaholics, security guards and janitors roaming around the corridors, the only other person there with you is Spencer, oddly. Even Hotch has gone home. You’ve spent more time stalking the doctor work through the pile of case files on his desk than you have writing in the one on yours. Only when you're caught do you look away. 
“Everything okay?” The innocent curiosity in his big eyes further reddens the hot embarrassment in your cheeks.
“Fine.” You mutter, dipping your head back down to the open page.
You’re never going to get this damn file done if you can’t get him out of your head, and him being barely three feet away from you doesn’t help. It’s very difficult for you to get your words from pen to paper. Anchorage wasn’t haunting you like it did at first. It was a traumatic event, yes, but alone isn’t the cause of this…block. Obviously the reality that you’re leaving is starting to dawn on you. Somehow your mind has linked this case with your departure and finishing this report makes it more official than your actual resignation. 
Plus, as much as you definitely hate Spencer, you do did care for him. The shock of him almost getting himself killed in front of you is another thing occupying your mind. It’s barely been twenty four hours since then, it’s still fresh. You can see him stand and grab his satchel in your peripheral vision, he’s preparing to leave. There are a lot of memories attached to that brown leather bag. 
Things he would carry in there for you when you forgot your own bag. 
You don’t make it obvious that you’re watching him gather his things in small glances. 
He bought extra hair clips for you to keep in there because you would often forget those too. 
It’s over now. No point in dwelling on it. You shake your head once he’s out of sight, trying to force him out of your thoughts. Now that he’s gone you’re hoping to actually be able to get some work done.
He taught you chess with the mini chess set he keeps in there. You discovered that you actually quite liked chess and would ask to play with him all the time. It was also his ‘secret’ weapon to help you calm down. 
You roll your eyes to push back the tears from the memories that refuse to stop playing. This can wait until you get home, it’s not important. 
It wasn’t the chess set that helped you feel calm. Spencer could win chess against you in just a few moves, but he would deliberately stretch out the game so you could have room to breathe. The longer the game, the more time you had to spend focused on the moves and slow down your thoughts. You could open up at your own pace. He would let you feel in control.
It doesn’t matter if he’s near you or not, Spencer has a way of invading your headspace wherever he is. Your train of thoughts is interrupted with a light thud on your right. You covertly roll the tears away again and turn to examine the source of the noise. A mug of coffee placed on your desk by
“Spencer?” You sputter breathlessly. 
“Sorry. I know you told me to stop. This is the last time I promise.” 
You don’t fully comprehend what he’s going on about, not expecting him to be here at all. 
“I thought you left.”
“I did– was. I was leaving, but I thought I’d make you some coffee before I go. Since you’ve been here a while.” He awkwardly explains. 
You steadily direct your attention back to the mug, reeling in what was happening. 
“Before you get mad, this really is just a cup of coffee from a colleague who thought it might help keep you energised if you’re planning to stay late. There’s no ulterior motive…”
He continues rambling but you’re not mentally present to hear any of it. 
He made you coffee. 
Even though you’ve been nothing short of an absolute bitch. Granted he was a bitch first, but the point is that he’s still thinking of your well being regardless. You can’t hide your tears from him this time. It’s the soft buzz of your name that draws you back to him. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you! I’ll take the coffee–”
His panicked sentiment is cut short when you jump out of your seat and shove past him. The breakdown you’ve been avoiding hits you like a ton of bricks. You run into the nearest empty office and he runs after you, making it past the door before you can lock him out. 
“Spencer p–please get out! I’m fine.” You’re pacing in the same spot, fanning away the stream falling down your cheeks, hyperventilating.
He doesn’t respond to you, instead cautiously taking your hand in his. You’re in too frenzied a state to care. He guides you to sit on the couch against the wall and you blindly go along with it, still trying to get yourself together. 
You want to stop the tears, but you can’t do that until you get your breathing under control. He slowly wraps his arms around you and you slump into him, head buried in his chest. You should try to fight it, you should push him away, but you can’t. Right now, surrounded by his scent, held in his arms, you don’t want to move. It’s not something you can properly explain, but the feeling is so comforting that nothing else matters. All you know is that you’re safe and that’s enough for you to allow yourself to finally break down. 
The first few sobs are loud, like there’s not enough air in the world to stabilise your lungs. They fizzle out into silent whimpers and you grasp onto the fabric of his sweater, balling it in your fist, just letting yourself feel. Spencer still hasn’t said a word. His right hand is rubbing circles on your back and his left hand is gently scratching just above the nape of your neck. 
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You stay like that for a while, even after you’ve stopped crying. It’s been so long since you’ve been in this little bubble with him and you don’t want it to end. You pull away when you feel the strap of his satchel across his stomach as your hand drops to his lap. He visually follows every move you make. 
“You’re still wearing your bag.” You sniffle, leaning back. 
“I am.” He whispers, understanding that you no longer want to be touched. 
He stays in his original position; facing you, but now with one arm resting on top of the backrest and the other idly in his lap. You’ve moved so that now you're facing ahead with your back leaning against the cushions, pulling your knees into your chest. You had never found comfort in silence until the first time you experienced it with Spencer. Staying huddled, you divert your eyes towards him. There’s a distinct wet patch on his shirt. It’s less visible on his sweater-vest, but it’s there. 
“Your shirt’s wet now.” It’s almost impossible to make out what you’re saying with your mouth muffled against your arm, but of course, Spencer manages anyway. 
“It’ll dry.” He smiles, tone delicate. 
“But– germs.” You choke a little due to your previous crying. 
“It can be washed.” He’s using his comforting voice again. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
The silence resumes. Neither of you dares to move, trying to freeze this moment. It’s obvious that you didn’t grasp how badly you craved each other’s presence. 
“D–do…” The initial sound grabs Spencer’s full attention again. You take a deep breath, hoping he wants to stay here as much as you do. “Do you still carry that little chess set with you?”
A small, airy chuckle comes out from him. 
“Would you like to play?”
“Please.” 
He creates some more space between you and begins to set up the board once he’s pulled it out of his satchel. You move to accommodate the set up, now facing him with your legs crossed on the couch and shoes abandoned on the floor. You wait for him to make the first move. After the opening moves the game doesn’t seem to get any harder and you know he’s throwing the game. You’re okay at chess, but he’s obviously a lot better. 
“You’re going easy on me.” You mumble.
“Because you’re not even trying.” He replies blithely.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Like I said, you’re making it too easy.” He gently teases.
“Not that. Helping me. You hate me, remember?” You say it like it’s the most casual thing in the world. 
“I don’t hate you.” 
“You literally told me that you hate me.” You chuckle, numb to the hurt that sentence once brought you. 
“So did you.” He counters in defence, trailing your hand as it carelessly moves your queen to her demise. 
“I was angry.” 
“So was I.” He spared your queen, in turn leaving his king vulnerable. 
“It doesn’t matter now…” You don’t finish the rest of your sentence but Spencer still hears it.
You’re leaving soon anyway.
“It matters to me.” If he left something unsaid you choose to ignore it. 
“You’re letting me win.” You whisper, feeling the urge to cry some more, but there’s no tears left. 
He doesn’t make a move, bringing the game to a halt. He’s waiting for you to meet his eyes. You know what he’s going to say. 
“Spencer, don't.” You beseech.
“Why?” If you looked at him instead of the board you’d see the way his eyes are pleading at you. 
“There’s no point.” This time it’s your voice that cracks. 
You're looking everywhere else and it makes you too aware of your surroundings. Like how the couch is lined up directly under a window that anyone could peek into. 
“Leaving is not the only option.” He solicits. 
He regards your discomfort and closes the blinds from where he’s sitting, pulling you back into the privacy of your bubble. 
“There’s nothing that you can say to make things go back to how they were.” You bite the inside of your cheek, fiddling with a random pawn. 
It’s not a proper two way conversation. You’re talking to yourself just as much as Spencer’s talking to you. You’re both trying to convince you of what you’re saying. 
“Things don’t have to go back to how they were.” The squeaks in his soothing tone are starting to melt any resolve you have left. 
“There’s no reason for me to stay.” You oppose, trying to make any argument stick.
“I can think of more reasons for you to stay than for you to go.” 
There’s an underlying tension bubbling. Neither of you notice it over your desperate tug of war. 
“I don’t think there’s anything that you can say to get me to stay.” Another baseless sentence meant more for you than for him. 
“Give me one chance. One chance to convince you.” He can see your internal struggle at his request and he throws out one final plea to sway you. “For nothing more than closure.” 
Closure.
You’ve spent months in turmoil over the hows and the what ifs, trying to conjure answers to questions that wouldn’t stop pestering you. You couldn’t turn him down even if you wanted to. 
“Closure?” You repeat, eyes finally latching onto his.
“Closure.” He whispers back in reassurance. 
“Even if you can’t convince me?” You caution, not wanting to give him false hope.
He doesn’t say anything, thinking over the scenario in his head. He simply nods and you mimic the action, blinking away the blur in your vision and dragging around chess pieces. It takes Spencer a second to figure out that you were moving them back to their default places.
“Okay new game.” You announce. 
Spencer blinks in confusion, waiting for you to elaborate. 
“I can ask you any question I want and you have to answer honestly. If by the end of the game I’m not convinced to stay, you back off for the remainder of my time here.” You pause for him to interject, but he doesn’t. “That means we stay away from each other, only talking when needed for work. Even then as cordially and professionally as possible. No more trying to make casual conversation or bringing me coffee or anything like that.”
“Till the end of the game?” He studies you. 
“Yup.” You smack your lips together. “Til one of us checkmates the other.”
“This means you’ll actually give me a fair shot?” 
“Between the two of us, I’m not the one known for cheating at games.” You jab, trying to ease the tension you could definitely feel now. 
“I meant a fair shot at convincing you. As in you’ll seriously take what I have to say into account.” He discards your attempt.
“No, I know. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.”
He can tell you’re trying to hold back a laugh from the small smile on your lips. It’s as adorable to him now as it was the first time he saw it. 
“Any rules before we start?” He asks, unable to hide his own smile.
“Only that we have to be honest.” You answer, immediately dropping your smile.
“Okay.” He agrees, smiling slightly wider.
“Okay.” You nod again.
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When he finally makes the first move it hits you that you don’t actually know where to start. Theoretically, you know what you want to ask, but don’t know how to ask. You don’t know if you should jump straight into the questions or start with some ice breakers. Nothing is said for about four to five moves when Spencer pauses the game. 
“Are you going to ask any questions or have you decided that you just want to play one last game for your closure?”
“Huh?” You snap your vision away from the board. “Oh, sorry. I was thinking.”
“Do you want to return to the game after thinking of a few questions to ask?” He raises his brow and relaxes his jaw.
“No, no, we don’t need to do that. Let’s keep playing, the questions will come to me.” You brush off his suggestion and motion for him to continue with his turn. He doesn’t.
“What?” Your voice raises and you scrunch your nose from perplexity.
“Sorry, it’s just that you’ve put us on a time limit and this is how you’re using our time?” He airs, failing to conceal his amusement.
“Well excuse me if I don’t exactly have a list of questions ready to go for you.” You narrow your eyes in annoyance. 
“Why would you suggest this if you don’t have any questions?” He tries to hold back his laugh and ends up snorting as a result. 
“I have questions!” You jabber, unable to maintain your annoyance. “I don’t know what– where do I even start?”
“Start with whichever one comes to you first.” He shrugs, finally making his move. 
A lot of things come to mind when you think about it. The thing that screams the loudest twitches a nerve and you become instantly irate. 
“Okay.” You nod, tone harsh and flat. “Let’s start with whatever the fuck possessed you on the last case. What was your thought process when you put your life in danger like that?”
He almost gets whiplash from the change in mood, his face literally reads ‘are you serious?’. 
“He was going to shoot you.” He states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 
“I was wearing a vest, I would’ve been fine.” You contend. 
“I wasn’t willing to take that risk.” 
“Risk?! You literally put yourself in danger for no reason!” 
“I think it was a pretty good reason actually!” 
“Spencer that was–” You stop yourself with a grumble, inhaling deeply. 
“It was instinctual, okay?” He softly explains. “I saw him aim the gun at you and I just reacted.” 
“Well it was a stupid reaction!” You whine. 
“I’m not going to apologise for it.”
The glare you give is piercing, you bite the inside of your cheek to hold your tongue before you say something you can’t take back. Spencer throws his head back and sighs. 
“But I will promise not to do it again.” He adds, not fully intending to keep it. 
This was slowly turning into another argument, both of you shooting back too fast with your responses. You aren’t in the mood for another argument. So you redirect your attention to the game. 
“Check.” You mumble, buying yourself time to think of another question. “Why are you here so late anyway?”
“I wanted to finish some work before tomorrow morning.” He replies, moving his king to safety. 
“Yeah, what’s up with that? You could’ve done those tomorrow as well.” Your voice softens out of curiosity. 
“I wanted to get them finished in case there were more tomorrow.” It’s not his best excuse. You don’t know what he means by that. He doesn’t know what he means by that. He’s lying to you. 
You scoff, poking your tongue against your cheek. “Wow. You really can’t not cheat during a game, can you?” 
“Right, sorry.” Spencer clears his throat after the initial confusion clears. Complete honesty, it was your only rule. “I wanted to be here.”
“For…” You egg on, purposely rolling your ‘r’s to prompt him. 
“I wanted to make sure that you were okay.” He admits, looking away from you. 
“Why?” You’re genuinely puzzled at the admission. “You’re the one who almost died. I mean, it was stupid and your fault, but still. If anything I should be checking up on you.”
“Check.” That’s the only response he gives you. He hopes that you don’t push further, but he knows that you will. 
His lack of response only forces you to think about the possible reasons by yourself, using context clues to figure it out. You are a profiler, after all. 
“Is this because of the panic attack?” You note how his jaw twitches when he swallows at the mention. “It is! You seriously chose to spend your night stuck at the office because of that?” 
“What else was I supposed to do? It’s not like you would talk to me, you literally refused to even look at me!” He gripes. 
“Spencer I think anyone would panic if they got tackled to the ground by a six foot man without warning. I’m fine.” You giggle.
“What happened to complete honesty?” It’s his turn to glare at you.
“I am being honest!” You protest.
“Lying by omission is not being honest.” He rolls his eyes.
“Okay Mr. know-it-all, what am I lying about?” You challenge.
“Seriously? You don’t remember?” His approach is doubtful and he just stares at your dazed expression.
“Fucking spit it out already, Spence!” 
Any sarcasm he had geared up for a response dissipates at your use of his nickname. He’s heard it plenty in the last few months, but not from you. For a moment things feel like they never changed. It stings in a bittersweet kind of way. 
“You sc–screamed– uh–” He clears his throat and rapidly blinks, his nose twitches in the process. “During that panic attack, you repeatedly asked me to stay with you. Y–you, uh– you said you didn’t think you could li–”
“Stop. Stop. Stop talking.” Your voice quavers and you hold your hand up, ears burning up. “I don’t wanna know.”
You don’t know why it makes your heart race the way it does, you don’t even remember it. He waits a while before speaking up again, wanting to be careful about how he goes about the topic without you shutting down.
“May I ask you a question?” He voices professionally, trying to make the conversation less personal so you don’t feel cornered. 
You nod, moving your king out of check.
“Is there anybody you will talk to about Anchorage? Without pushing them away?” He keeps the game going as he speaks to provide you with a distraction. 
“Woah– Anchorage? Where is that coming from?” You titter.
“I want you to remember that we promised to be honest and I won’t push if you ask me to stop, but I know for a fact that you aren’t okay.” He waits for you to stop him but you don’t, even though you know roughly what he’s going to say. “Panic attacks aside, your avoidant behaviour around the topic, inability to focus, being easily startled, you’re showing signs of PTSD.” 
“Spence, c’mon. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I already passed the psych evals.” You attempt to make light of the situation with carefully chosen words so you’re not lying. It was a futile attempt, you know he’s not willing to budge when he doesn’t give you anything more than a blank stare. 
“Why does this matter so much to you?” You sigh in defeat. “Whatever happened…that’s a part of the job, you know that.”
“I also know, first hand, that it takes over your life. You can’t run from it, no matter how much you try to.” His tone is soft as he speaks, yet you feel like he’s accusing you. 
“I am not running! Why would you say I’m running?” You object with a high voice, shrugging your shoulders. “And it’s not taking over my life. Also, check.”
“Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to deal with something.” He states point blank.
“Woah– so– that was entirely unnecessary.” You stammer, unable to deny it. 
“I’m not criticising you. I just happen to know you and I know that you have a tendency to run from your problems. And it is taking over your life.” 
“You’re profiling!” You gasp.
“You know that it’s not something we can just turn off! No matter how much we pretend like we can.” He waves his hands defensively. 
You can’t argue with that, your lips twisting to the side. 
“You want me to be honest?” You murmur sheepishly. 
“Always. Please.” He responds gently, wanting you to be as comfortable as possible.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I spend a good chunk of my day actively avoiding thinking about it, but somehow I always end up thinking about it anyway. At times it’s like I can almost feel…” You breathe in instinctively. “This is the first time in months I’ve been able to do anything without it lingering in the back of my mind. Can we please talk about it another time? I would rather talk about other things…”
Another time. 
“...right now.” 
You’ve implied that there will be another time to talk and he definitely caught it, even if he pretends that he hasn’t. You don’t even know if what you said is true, you got too comfortable with the familiarity of his friendship. It was something you said out of habit from back when you two actually were friends. Not even a full hour's worth of conversation with him and he’s already worming his way back in.
“Um–” You drag yourself further back on the couch, creating more physical distance. 
“That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it at all.” Spencer senses your urgency to leave the situation and jumps into damage control. “It’s your turn.”
“No, um, I should– I should go. Thanks for doing thi– helping me.” You turn away from him, aiming for your shoes and ready to bolt.
“The game’s not over.” He points out.
“Yes it is.” You declare, still in the process of putting on your shoes.
“You said til checkmate.” He huffs, shifting out of his seated position. 
“I forfeit!” You throw your arms out in a shrugging manner, standing up after him.
“I can’t believe this. You’re going back on your word!” He doesn’t even raise his voice. He’s just hurt. 
“What’s the point, Spencer? Closure doesn’t mean anything, I’m still leaving! You can’t magically change my mind!” You yell, getting louder with each sentence. 
“I disagree. I think that you’re running again!” He blocks your way and yells back, maintaining his volume throughout. 
“Maybe you should think less!” You suggest, still yelling. Sarcasm is your defence mechanism when you have no actual defence. 
“You know what else I think?” He continues, emphasising the word ‘think’ every time he says it out of spite. “I think that you agreed to this thinking I won’t be able to convince you, but I am!”
“I don’t care what you–”
“I think you don’t want to finish the game that you started, because you’re afraid to ask the harder questions!”
“Stop.” You command, but it doesn’t deter him.
“I think that you’re scared to hear my answers because then it all becomes too real for you–” 
“Stop!” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you choke them out. “You’re wrong.” 
“If I’m wrong then prove it. To both of us.” He sits back down and motions to the board. “Ask the real questions.” 
“I don’t need to prove anything, you’re wrong.” You uphold.
“So leave.” He challenges, knowing that you won’t be able to. 
If you truly believed that he’s wrong you wouldn’t feel the need to prove it, but you do and he knows that. You walk back over to the couch, head nodding from irritation, tongue poking your cheek. You kick your shoes off with a bit of force and return to your earlier position across from him. 
“Your move.” He reminds you as you settle in.
You don’t reply yet, but move your rook to set him up for the next move.  
“Check.” He smugly states.
“Who was she?” 
You don’t move, examining him close for any change in his behaviour. He obviously didn't anticipate that question first, snapping his sights back on you. 
“Sorry?” 
“The woman who greeted me at your door. That night at your apartment.” 
“Charlotte.” He replies, holding your gaze to show you he’s got nothing to hide. “We met at the library a week before.”
“Are you guys together?” You break away first, diverting your eyes to the chess board and trying to seem unfazed when moving your knight. 
“No, God, no.” He denies immediately. 
“I don’t know, she seemed pretty cosy for someone you met a week prior.” You don’t mean to sound as snide as you come across.
“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” He shakes his head. 
“You sure? Because I’m pretty sure I saw her mark you up with a kiss on your cheek before disappearing.” You don’t look at him, examining a captured pawn as you wait for him to make his move. 
“Mark me up?” He cognizes it instantly. “Are you…jealous?”
“What? No!” You vehemently deny, your voice rising in several pitches. 
“You are!” His eyes widen. 
“I am not jealous.” 
His jaw slacks and he lets out an amused scoff. He doesn’t say anything, making you feel the need to fill the silence. 
“I only bring it up because…I know you have a thing with…germs.” Your words falter because of your own uncertainty and you want to dissolve into the fucking floor. 
Spencer tries to suppress a smile by poking his tongue out slightly. If the atmosphere was lighter he’d tease you about it, but he doesn’t want to make you take off again. Still, he feels the need to clarify the events of the night. 
“I don’t know why she kissed my cheek, it was completely random.” He takes his time saying it, still fighting a smile.
You swallow nervously and purse your lips to the side in response. One question answered and you only have new ones in its place. Did she stay the night? Did she sleep on the couch or on his bed? Did he see her again? 
“I drove her home right after you left.” He can almost hear your thoughts. 
“Was it a date?” You softly gulp again, unsure if you even have a right to know.
“Yes.” He hesitates. 
“Oh.” 
“I wanted to try out casual dating for once.” He chagrins. “I honestly don’t know how you did it, it’s not even fun.” 
“No it’s not.” You chuckle dryly. “So no second date, I presume?”
“Definitely not. I was just stressed the whole time.” He chuckles with you. 
“Take a shot of tequila before you go next time, it helps settle the nerves.” You joke, jumping to give him advice you hope he doesn’t take. You can’t help it, it’s what you’ve always done. Even if it goes against what you desire. 
“While moderate consumption of tequila can help relax the nervous system, I will not be turning to alcohol for stress relief.” 
“Then blast classical music while you get ready and give yourself a pep talk out loud, it’s actually really efficient–”
“There won’t be a next time. For a really long time, if ever.” He interjects, miffed at your insistence. 
“You willingly plan on committing to lifelong celibacy?” You exclaim with a puzzled look. “Why?!”
Spencer laughs at how raw your reaction is. He didn’t plan on giving out any more details but, with that prompt he decides that it’s now or never. 
“I don’t think any future dates will appreciate me picturing someone else in their place the whole time.” 
Oh. 
Both of you lock eyes at the same time. This is not a road you’re prepared to go back down, even if that’s literally the whole point of this conversation. You’re too stunned to reply and Spencer uses this as an opportunity to be elaborate. He doesn’t want any misunderstandings this time. 
“I couldn’t stop pictur–”
“Shut up.” You blurt out the sentence in almost one word. 
Your heart’s racing like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff. You’re flustered, every part of your body is heated from how terrified you are.
“Y–you don’t have t–t…you don’t owe m–me an explanation.” You try to elaborate, contradicting yourself and stumbling on your words.
“I want to.” He reads that you’re apprehensive but pushes regardless. 
“Please don’t.” The tears that you thought had dried out were building again.
“Why ask if you won’t let me answer?”
You don’t have anything to say to that. Did you want answers? Yes. Still, you didn’t expect how hard they’d be to hear. He whispers your name and you scramble to think of your next move, and not in chess. You’re unable to even think about the game right now. You want to bolt, but you can’t even get yourself to move. So you deflect. 
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
“I disagree.” Although his tone is subdued, the pace of his wording is faster. “I think it does matter and that’s why you’re afraid to hear it.”
He’s right but you can’t bring yourself to agree. This is only going to over-complicate an already complicated situation.
“It’s not enough.” Your voice cracks.
“How can it be if you won’t even give it a fair shot?” 
“Fair?” 
It comes out louder than you intended. His words trigger resentment within you and you snap. 
“Nothing about any of this is fair! I mean, fucking hell, Spencer, four years. That’s how long we’ve been friends. I mean I’ve shared shit that I thought I would be taking to the fucking grave with you! You were my best friend for four fucking years and all it took was like, five seconds?”
You sob, softer than when you were first crying, but the frustration is clear. He reaches out to touch your hand, but you push his hand away. 
“No!” You choke, sobbing harder when you try to compile your thoughts. “Five seconds to destroy all of it! It makes me wonder if everything we shared, our friendship, was it ever even that strong?”
Your anger simmers to sadness, as evident with how your yelling fades into whispering in the last sentence. 
“I can’t even tell you when exactly those five seconds were. I mean, I know…but…I don’t. Where did it go wrong, Spence?” 
“I don’t know.” Is all he can say after a beat of silence.
He knows exactly where it went wrong. 
“Yeah, me neither!” You sniffle, immediately wiping a single tear that manages to escape. “So again, it doesn’t matter.” 
“When you took it back.”
“What?” 
“That’s where everything changed for me. You showed up at my apartment drunk, after your date with Nathan. Your exact words were ‘I mean as an amazing friend’.” His voice strains like he’s forcing himself to speak. 
Your gaze falls, eyes darting everywhere as you try to jog your memory beyond the one sentence you remember. 
“I don’t understand.” You croak.
“You know, if I wasn’t who I am, maybe you could love me the way I love you.” He chuckles bitterly, fighting back tears of his own. “That was– that was, uh, what you said before you took it back.”
“Spence, please…” You whine without sound, tilting your head back and chewing on your lip as a final attempt to stay composed. 
“No, you wanted to know where it went wrong.” He laughs falsely to downplay his tears. “You can say it doesn’t matter all you want, but the fact is, it does matter. It matters to me and I won’t let you run from it anymore.” 
You can’t look at him. Not with tears free falling down your face. You cup your hands together in your lap, pressing your fingers and nails together. 
“You told me that I couldn’t love you.” You struggle to sound your words. 
“I’m an idiot.” Another chuckle, but he sounds defeated. “When you said that, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to say that I do love you.” 
You tearfully laugh at this admission. 
“I only took it back because of what you said. I panicked. I thought I’d ruined things…which I guess, I still did.” Another laugh from you.
Spencer responds with the same regretful sound. 
The irony spurs another fit of giggles amongst you, this one slightly longer and infinitely more rueful than the last. You look anywhere but at each other until it grows quieter. 
“If you loved me, why the fuck would you tell me that I couldn’t love you?” You sound just as, if not more, defeated than him. 
“Love.” Spencer corrects without missing a beat. 
Your brows twitch up and your heart jumps. 
“I was so hung up on every single part of your sentence that I didn’t know what to say first.” He proceeds to answer you without leaving much room to process what he said. “I wanted to tell you that I do love you. I love you as you are. Not as somebody else.”
“But you didn’t say any of that.” You ignore all his admissions, not fully comprehending. 
“Like I said, I’m an idiot. I was in so much disbelief and that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.” He sullenly huffs.
You don’t reply, sniffling with your head down. 
“For like a second, I had everything I wanted. Then you took it back and it was like my whole world had been ripped out from under me. In those five seconds, you’d given me a taste of what I’d spent four years convincing myself I couldn’t have and I just– I couldn’t go back after that.” He adds after a stillness. 
After a short while, your focus shifts from your hands to the board in front of you. The game’s been long forgotten. You’re immersed in the conversation, in spite of how strenuous it is. 
“I understand why you were distant, even mean, at first.” You snivel. “But after a while you just became downright cruel.” 
Spencer doesn’t shy away from your gaze when you do look at him. His skin is as drenched from crying as yours is. 
“I mean ‘I don’t want to see your face’? I know that I don’t really have a leg to stand on anymore, but, what the fuck Spencer?” 
He doesn’t cringe any less with every reminder. He’s truly regretted the words since they left his mouth. 
“I wanted to hurt you.” He reveals. “I thought you were being deliberately cruel and I wanted you to feel exactly how I was feeling.”
“Deliberately?” 
He nods, hanging his head.
“I thought that you knew how I felt and were just trying to be funny or something.” 
“Well I didn’t. I wasn’t.” You cut him off with a constricted voice.
“Even if you did, it’s not an excuse.” His eyes are glistening from the outpour of tears, but he still lifts his sights back to you. “I’m sorry.” 
You don’t know how to acknowledge his apology at all. You’re not even angry anymore, all you feel is sorrow and regret for the way everything happened. An entire friendship down the drain due to an unfortunate set of circumstances. 
“This is so fucked up.” You say with another mordant laugh. “All of this could have been avoided if we just talked about it.”
It stung less when you had somebody to blame for it. Your vision blurs and you make no effort to clear it, letting yourself cry openly. 
“We’re talking about it now?” It’s almost a squeak, the way it’s spoken.
“Yeah, but,” your shoulders slump, defeatedly, and you have to pause to control your sob, “what good does it do now? I’ve already lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me in the most pathetic way possible.”
“I’m right here.” He counters in such a small voice that it gives your goosebumps. 
“Spencer, too many things have been said…”
“When you first joined the team, I instantly knew I liked you.” 
He chews on his lip and darts his eyes around while he contemplates if he wants to continue. 
“I thought it was because of your kind nature. You were so sweet to everybody.” He decides he does, but his voice shakes throughout. “You have this gift…you make people feel so good about themselves. Whenever you spoke to me, I felt like the most important person in the world. It was impossible not to like you.”
You want to pretend like you don’t know where he’s going with this. You want to stop him, but your voice is stuck in your throat.
“It wasn’t until you bought me coffee for the first time that I realised just how much I liked you.” He chuckles again, as he reminisces in the memory. “You didn’t even get my order right until the fourth time, but it was still my favourite cup of the day.”
“You make me sound like a saint.” You finally choke out, attempting to play down the confession so it doesn’t crush your heart. “The only reason I even started bringing you coffee is because you learned how I like my coffee first.” 
“Not a saint, an angel. I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that there are times where it genuinely feels like I’m in the presence of an angel.” 
It’s stated with such sincerity that it knocks the wind out of your pipes. Your eyes are widened and you’re biting your tongue with your mouth closed, staring at him with your chin tucked. He seems so confident, even with the glistening from previous tears in his eyes.
“I wanted to be in your life in any way you would have me. Even when it meant that I had to accept you with other people. And it was bearable, until…” His reminiscence only ends at the memory of the night that changed everything. “Like I said, I couldn’t go back.”
The last part fades into another whisper, only then do you find the courage to speak up. 
“Exactly.” You stick to your denial. “It can’t go back to how it was before.”
Your heart is so sure of what it wants, but your head is blinded by fear. You’re at a crossroads, except one path, the path that leads to everything you long for, is clouded with a fog of uncertainty. The other path is so painfully clear, you can practically see what’s on the other side. A fresh start, where the risk of fucking up further doesn’t exist. What you don’t see is Spencer.
“Good. I don’t want it to go back to how it was.” 
Spencer’s waiting for you to enter the fog. He’s going to be there holding your hand every step of the way. 
“I’ve already handed in my resignation.”
“That matters less than everything you’ve claimed doesn’t matter.” He leans in, intensifying his eye contact. 
“I’m pretty sure Hotch is really close to confirming my replacement.” You comment half-heartedly. 
You’re trying anything to dissuade both him and yourself from acknowledging the obvious, but he doesn’t plan on letting you avoid it. 
“I love you.” He whispers softly.
“Spencer…” You begin when he takes hold of your hands and whatever you had to say disappears from your tongue. 
“I love you. With every atom that makes up my body.” He repeats himself with further elaboration to instil it in your mind.
“I’m scared.” You whisper back with a sob, finally accepting it. 
“Why?” His voice can’t be any softer, but it still cracks a little.
“Because, you can’t guarantee that it’s going to end well.” You allow your vulnerability to peek through. “And that’s going to hurt more. I’d rather leave now than fall deeper.”
Although you didn’t say it back, it’s an indirect admission that you love him too. And it’s enough for him to fight harder.
“I know that my credibility isn’t the greatest,” he coaxes a small, sad scoff out of you, “but I truly believe that this, us, we’ll work. Because I know that I’m going to do everything I can to make this work.”
He feels bolder when you don’t pull away from his touch, folding your fingers into your palms and cupping over them. You observe the sight as it unfolds in lieu of a verbal response. 
“I’ve spent four years judging any man that comes into your life, wishing I was in their place, swearing I would treat you better than all of them.” 
Spencer feels the need to fill in the silence and he lets honesty guide his confession. He leans in further as if he’s indulging his deepest secret. 
“Four years wasted wondering what could be, cursing out those idiots, but taking no action to make it happen. And that makes me the biggest idiot out of all of them.”
When he speaks like this, with his big, imploring eyes and prayerful tone, it melts your heart to a point where it almost hurts. The more he talks, the more you begin to lean in, opening yourself up to him.
“It took losing you to realise how badly I fucked up and for that I will never forgive myself. I know that I have no right to ask you to waste any more time on me…”
There’s no more resistance against the pull you both physically feel to each other. 
“...but I’m begging you for a chance to do today what I should have done way before yesterday.” 
Your faces grow closer by the second, you can feel each other's breaths against skin.
“And I’m going to spend every tomorrow proving what I said today.” 
The likelihood of him changing your mind with one conversation wasn’t very high, both you and Spencer knew this when you got into it. You’re not entirely surprised when he somehow manages to overcome those odds too. You take the step to close the gap and lightly press your lips to his. 
It starts off soft, there’s no lust, no ulterior motive behind it. It’s a simple confirmation that you’re both present and this is real. Spencer doesn’t shy away from the kiss, not that you’d call this a kiss. It feels more intimate, more unguarded.
Spencer pulls you onto his lap as he shifts and leans back against the backrest to allow more room for you. You wrap your arms around him and the kiss deepens. In the midst of you straddling him, he slides the entire chess board off the couch and the pieces scatter on the floor. It’s only when you feel that the kiss can’t bring you any closer to him does the lust emerge. It fuels a desire to prove that you both whole-heartedly belong to each other. 
There’s no pinpointing when the switch happens. All you know is that the feeling of his lips against yours is no longer enough. You cup his jaw in your hands, swiping your tongue on his lower lip and it causes his grip on your waist to tighten. He parts his lips for you and it starts what you can only call a dance with your tongues. 
Your breathing grows hotter, your hips subconsciously grind against him. There’s a prominent bulge that brushes against your heat and you whine into his mouth. Spencer grunts your name in response and then abruptly pulls away.
“Wait, wait, wait, slow down.” He breathlessly whispers against your lips. 
“What?” You whisper back with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He gazes into your eyes, afraid that you might regret this later.
“I’ve never been more sure, actually.” You’re confident at first but the look in his eyes makes you pull back further. “Unless…you’re not sure?”
“No, don’t misunderstand me. I want you.” His tone rises just above the previous whisper with his clarification. “It’s just that the last thing I want to do is take advantage of you when our emotions are running high.”
“Four years, Spencer.” You lean in again, just brushing your lips against his. “The only reason you should be making me wait is if you’re not sure.”
He shuts that idea down by crashing his lips on yours. The kiss is so hungry, so desperate, it’s everything both of you have longed for and denied yourselves everytime you’ve been in each other's presence. It doesn’t take long for hands to start to roam. He traces the curve from your waist to your hips, stopping just at the hem of your shirt, tugging it like he’s asking for permission. 
You rush to undo your buttons and he meets you halfway, starting at the bottom. His fingers brush against yours as you two reach the final button and you pull the fabric off yourself. You do the same with his shirt, lips remaining locked, except for the small gasps of air you take in between. It requires a bit more manoeuvring with him, but you’re both soon shirtless. 
His mouth travels to your jaw and you shut your eyes from pleasure as he continues down to your neck. The stubble on his chin tickles your skin. You cup it, gently pushing him away with a giggle. 
“Forget to pack a razor in your bag, Dr. Reid?” Your voice is teasing, more playful than seductive.
He chuckles, airily, hiding his groan. He knows you’re being sarcastic, but the use of his title, with your voice in this context, catches him off guard. You moan as you feel his growing bulge against your heat when his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you into his kiss. You swiftly undo the clasp of your bra, but before you can take it off, Spencer grabs you from just below the hips and lifts you up off him, gently laying you down on the seat of the couch. 
There’s no room for hesitation as his lips find your neck again and he nips at the skin. Every suckle earns him short gasps and the grip in his hair tightens as he travels lower. He stops just above your breast, pulling himself up to sit on his knees. You stare up at him with a heated gaze, the nail of your thumb resting between your teeth with your lips parted to make up for the loss of his lips. 
He reaches for your bra strap and begins pulling slowly, searching your eyes for any signs of you withdrawing consent. All he sees is how beautifully they sparkle when you give him a light nod. It’s been too long since he’s seen the stars that you hold in your eyes, stars he accustomed himself to before he even got to properly know you. 
Gazing into his eyes, you’ve never felt more sure, more safe. You trust him implicitly and you’ve never wanted anything more. His constant need to make sure you're comfortable sends shivers down to your core. He slides the garment off you and Spencer’s beyond grateful that he’s already on his knees, knowing that if he was standing he’d fall to them because of the sight below him. 
His eyes don’t falter once, he’s trying to permanently etch this moment into his brain. He hovers his fingers above your body, thumb brushing against your hardened nipple and you softly whine. He looks awestruck, almost like he doesn’t believe what’s happening. You can’t help but wonder if he thinks your boobs look weird. 
“Beautiful.” The words fall out of his mouth in a whisper, as if on cue. He’s really just thinking out loud.
Before you can respond he lowers down and plants a small peck to your sensitive nub before taking it into his mouth. You gasp again, head lolling back in pleasure. One of your hands goes for his hair, while the other clings to his hand that’s already holding yours. He switches between sucking, pulling and squeezing; rolling it between his tongue and uses his teeth to squeeze ever so slightly.
“S–spencer.” A strangled moan falls from your lips. 
You tug his hair, whining and moaning as your hips roll against the strain in his pants. When your motions become continuous, he lets out his own strained groan and is forced to release your nipple with a small ‘pop’. 
“Angel, I really need you to stop doing that.” He murmurs in your ear with a gentle, gravelly tone.
As soon as the nickname reaches your ears your hips involuntarily buck up again, making his hips automatically push down against yours. His cock presses against your core and you both moan, his head falling against your shoulder.
“Spence, more.” You quietly whine in against his ear. “I need more.” 
“More?” He echoes back, turning his head so that your lips brush past each other when speaking. 
“Mhm.” You nod weakly as he brushes a strand of hair out of your face and weakly connects his lips with yours.
Even when he’s got you vulnerable and at your most compromised, he’s still as gentle as ever. You don’t feel him undo your pants or sneak his hand in them, but you definitely feel him press the pads of his fingers against your clothed clit. Air escapes through your nose in a huff of surprise and you hum in his mouth, hips jolting at his touch. He can feel your slickness through your underwear. 
“Oh, my pretty girl.” He sighs, breaking the kiss and directing his whispers in your ear again. “All wet for me?”
“Please..” Even with your broken whimper you beg him for more. 
“Like this?” His deft fingers swipe your panties to the side, fingers landing directly on the clit this time. 
They feel cold at first. The contrast against your heated body makes you squirm and you groan in a soft, high pitch. 
“What are you feeling right now?” He pries a verbal response from you, circling your bud lightly. “Tell me.”
“Good.” You sigh, eyes shut as you try to savour the pleasure. 
“Good?” His voice is still soft against your ear.
“Mhm.” You nod, one arm draping against his shoulder and the other hand running along his scruffy jaw. “So good.” 
“And this?” He adds pressure to his movements. “Does this feel good?”
Your hips buck again and he feels rewarded when you moan. There’s no doubt that the sound of your voice is his favourite. He especially loves it when it’s directed at him. Whether that be in the form of a laugh or your sweet moans. It makes him somewhat dizzy. His lips attach to the skin just under your jaw in an attempt to coax more. 
It’s very effective. Fingers working your bundle of nerves, circling and flicking while changing the pressure, and mouth kissing and sucking near your pulse. It makes your back arch, hand gripping his shoulder so you don’t float away. He’s careful not to leave any purple traces of him on your neck, mindful of you being bombarded with questions from your colleagues.  
“I love how reactive you are, Angel. You sound divine– fuck.” He can’t help the grunt that escapes him. “You are divine.”
His touch alone is enough to make you feel electric, but the sweet nothings he’s whispering in your ear will be what send you over the edge. It’s a foreign feeling, being reminded that he values you for more than just your body. Just under an hour ago you had incredibly high walls built around you and none of them are left standing as you exposed under him.
Spencer’s not the first man to touch you, but he is the first that loves you. It’s something you’re not at all used to and it feels as overwhelming as it does good. It transcends the want, no, the need for the man on top of you beyond lust or love. You plan to show him just how strong that need is tonight. 
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The carpeted floor is littered with your clothes, carelessly thrown around and tiny chess pieces scattered around the abandoned chess board. Spencer’s comfortably lying on the couch, facing the ceiling and you’re lying directly on top of him with your face buried in his neck. 
You run your fingers back and forth along his jaw, scratching his beard in slow streaks. He’s enveloped you in his arms, one around your lower back and the other playing with your hair. It doesn’t feel as peaceful as it seems, both of you are afraid of being the first to speak. You know you can’t stay like this forever and you decide to bite the bullet. 
“Spencer?” 
You only get silence from his end. You know he’s awake because his motions in your hair don’t stop. You push yourself up to face him, trying to study his face. The sudden movement brings him back from wherever he was zoned out to. 
“Hm?” His features jump.
Does he regret it?
“What’s wrong?” Your voice shakes from worry. “You have this look on your face.” 
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking.” 
“About…?” 
“How bad we are at communicating.” He chuckles. “It’s concerning when you think about how all we ever do is talk.” 
Hearing this makes you snort and you fall into him again. It sends both of you into a short fit of laughter. 
“Oh that’s promising for the success of this relationship.” You giggle, sarcasm evident. 
Hearing relationship makes Spencer inhale sharply. 
“So you’re staying?” 
“Well obviously, Dingbat.” You scoff playfully at the question and shift upright, straddling him. “But we really do need to get better at the communication thing for this to work.”
Spencer mounts his weight on his hands by either side of him and pushes himself up to you, stealing a deep kiss. 
“Yes, we absolutely do.” He whispers, breaking away for only a second. 
The kisses fizzle in you a plethora of smaller kisses. 
“Spencer, I’m– serious.” You voice in between, loosely draping your arms on his shoulders. 
“I am too.” He says in a hushed tone as he pulls away. 
“I want to take it– this,” you motion between the two of you with your finger, “us, slow. Not four years slow, but, like, by a couple of months at the very least.”
“Okay.” He agrees, his eyes scouring your face with complete adoration. It’s not ideal, but he understands where you’re coming from. 
“That means that we start again. Romantically. We have to talk about a lot of things first.” 
He shifts his body out from under you, resting his back properly against the couch and pulls you back into his lap in one swift motion. Both of his hands graze from your shoulder to your wrist.
“How about…you come over this weekend,” He suggests, wrapping his arms around your waist for a hug, “we’ll do snacks, a movie, maybe an actual game of chess.” 
“That sounds like a date.” You wrap your arms around his neck to return the gesture and lean your forehead against his. 
“It’s not a date. Not yet, anyways.” He whispers. “I’m asking you to come over this weekend so we can talk about things properly, because frankly, I don’t think either of us is in the right headspace for it right now.” 
“Should I be offended at that?” You giggle, not entirely sure what he’s alluding to. 
“No!” He snorts with a high tone. “Dopamine aside, our Norepinephrine and Serotonin levels are too high right now for us to have a proper conversation about this.” 
“I’m not saying that you’re wrong, because you’re not, but I also think you’re just using science to try and confuse me, so that I agree to wherever this speech is heading.” 
“It’s times like this where your attentiveness puts me at a disadvantage, because this tactic has a hundred percent success rate on everybody else.” He grins and you chuckle, both leaning in for another kiss. 
“Can we hold off on starting over? Just for tonight.” He reluctantly voices, not wanting to push any boundaries. 
You draw back and raise your eyebrows with your eyes widened. 
“Spence, I have waited for years for this. You’re insane if you think I’m giving that up without relishing in it for at least a night. We’re not starting over until we’re both officially back on the clock.” 
“Okay.” He heaves from relief, leaning in for another kiss, but quickly withdraws with a new question. “Don’t you think the team’s going to be suspicious when we’re not fighting tomorrow?”
“Forget them, what am I gonna say to Hotch when I ask to withdraw my resignation?” You huff out a tiny groan. “He’s gonna hate me for all this paperwork.”
Paperwork reminds you why you’re here to begin with. You audibly gasp, jumping off Spencer and scrambling to put your clothes back on. 
“Fuck! Spencer, get dressed!” 
Spencer doesn’t share your panic, but adheres to your demand. You mutter a continuous line of obscenities as you throw on your clothes and when you don’t seem to be getting calmer, he intervenes. 
“Hey, hey, hey!” He coos as he steps towards you, still undressed on the upper-half. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that we’ve been here for hours!” You shriek, now fully dressed. 
You push past Spencer and grab his shirt, deciding that he was too slow on his own. He lets you dress him as he probes further. 
“That’s okay. No one’s going to notice this late.” 
“No– Spence–” You sigh, throwing your head back. “In less than four hours, Hotch is going to walk into his office expecting the Anchorage report on his desk. I’ve barely been able to get half of it done in weeks, how am I going to finish it in four hours?”
You shake your head and begin working on his buttons. He grabs your wrists, urging you to look at him. 
“You’ll have it done in less than one. I’ll help you!” His voice is light, airy, soft and accompanied with a chuckle.
“Spencer, you’ve already been here later than you need to be. It’s okay–”
“Let me help you.” He resorts to pleading, releasing your wrists and cupping your face.
You don’t have it in you to argue, his eyes staring back at you with sincerity. He wants to help. There’s no point in pushing him away, because as scared as you are about being too vulnerable with your trauma from that case, you trust him wholeheartedly. You know he won’t push for more than what you choose to share right now.
“Okay.” You nod and smile into the kiss he leans in for after the confirmation. 
“Okay. Now, you go and start some coffee.” he instructs softly with a wide grin, waving to the scattered chess ensemble. “ I’m going to clean up here and join you.”
“I love you!” You lean for another kiss and hushedly exclaim as you break away, receding towards the door. 
It’s Spencer’s turn to lose his breath. He’s affirmed his love for you countless times tonight and this is the first time you’ve verbally reciprocated it. He knows that it won’t be the last time either. That, to him, makes him the luckiest man in the world. He stops you from going any further by your arm and gently yanks you in his direction, crashing his lips with yours. 
“I love you too.” He whispers after the kiss, letting you go. 
Heat rises in your face again and you struggle to hide a huge dopey smile, one that Spencer has too. You’re floating on cloud nine, finally out of the blurry hurricane you’ve endured for months. There’s still a lot of things that you need to work out, but the thought of them doesn’t make you feel dread like it once did. 
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love." - Socrates
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Spoilers: Yapperoni (so much dialog in this chapter), BAU! Reader, enemies (kinda) to lovers, hurt, comfort, love confessions (they might be a little too sappy, idk, I was sleep deprived), the praise made me giddy at some point, smut but I edge you by not writing out everything, happy ending.
AN - I have a little tiny fear that people (me) will nawt (I don’t) fuck with this monstrosity, but out of all my drafts, this felt like the most natural course of action. I thought it would be really fun to go from friends to enemies to lovers. Now, literally nobody talk to me about writing fics after this. Uni’s started, so I’ll be very inconsistent for a bit. Casual reminder: I am not Spencer Reid. I don’t have an IQ of 187. Any facts I make him spew could very well be bull-shit and he only spews them for the purpose of the story. I also have no knowledge of how the FBI works and lack a ton of common sense. A lot of things were made up for the purpose of this story.
A comment today keeps semicolon away (from showing up to your house and eating all your snacks).
Thank you for reading!
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