#I luv how this could totally be canon for her since in the books she did break in the pantry just to eat raspberry jam

[diballydumbloo]

Something abt Ann holding comically sized alote is just so precious to me <333

Like someone in the house just left it on the counter and while no one was looking Ann just took it and ran off

My girls 🩷

[loracarol]

I may or may not do a Proper Review of the Twisted Tales series at a later date, but here’s my brief summary/review of the first three. This WILL contain spoilers. 

Also @fantastic-nonsense​, have you heard of/read any of these? I know that fairy tales are kind of your jam. :V

A Whole New World

Easily my favorite of the three by far

Really leans in to the whole “the same Disney Movie You Know but with One Twist” thing they claim to have going on

Jafar gets the lamp

And that’s where it all goes to shit

Everything builds off of this one singular change in the timeline - while things are built up/expanded in the past, frankly it’s nothing that goes against the actual movie. 

For example, the King being little more then a man-child ignoring the problems in his city. Not specifically mentioned in the movie but given the King’s personality/the slums we see, it’s not out of the realm of possibility. 

Building on Aladdin’s past friendships - again, not something we actually see in movie, but not necessarily ooc either.

Also Jafar kills the Sultan, uses magic to raise the dead (the genie can’t do it, but Jafar uses his newfound power to look for a way around that.) 

BUT YEAH there are zombies all of a sudden, including children. 

This book was baller, 10/10 would recommend, even if just for the Holy Shit What The Fuck-ness of it.  

Once Upon A Dream

Middle of the pack IMO. 

I don’t actually have anything against the idea of the plot.

Aurora is highly different from her movie counterpart. It’s not necessarily bad IMO, but it was Distracting. 

Aurora and Philip were cute, though. 

Aurora’s parent’s get killed before she gets a chance to meet them. :( 

But then?? She/the plot seems to agree with Maleficent that it was all their fault for sending their child away?? 

And, of course, ~Maleficent~ wouldn’t ever do something like that

Ignoring for the moment that they sent her away because Maleficent had put a curse on a fucking baby that was supposed to kill her 

and it was only because another fairy intervened that she didn’t die

Maleficent, you don’t get to police how other people deal with that shit when it’s your fault  they have to deal with it

And also you killed them and it’s your fault Aurora never got to meet her parents. 

I was worried they were going to pull a Maleficent at the beginning with the framing device that Maleficent was the good guy and the three good fairies/the King and Queen were the bad guy, but the twist was nice

Not my fav, and while I did laugh out loud at some parts, I ended up feeling like I was reading about two OC’s who’d snuck into the plot rather then the Disney versions of the characters. 

This was especially annoying bc the part where the book “twisted” the tale was around Aurora pricking her finger/Maleficent dying - aka the end of the friggen movie.  

6/10 wouldn’t recommend but wouldn’t anti-recommend either. 

As Old As Time

This book was very... Yikes

Yikes Yikes Yikes

Okay, maybe I’m overthinking this - I’m not actually Jewish, but it felt like this book appropriated/exploited a lot of Jewish historical suffering? 

This one is under a cut bc potential antisemitism

Twist is that Belle’s mother was the Enchantress, but honestly, that didn’t feel like enough of a twist to justify everything that happens in the book

Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a kingdom. This kingdom had many people within it’s borders, including a number of Jewish people magical folk. Belle’s mother is one of those Jewish people magical folk, only she’s a good Jew magical person with her “Aryan” looks blonde hair and light eyes (tbh I can’t remember if they were green or blue). 

Among Maurice’s companions include a man who hates his Jewish heritage magical abilities and thinks of magic as unnecessary/evil. 

Belle’s mother settles down with Maurice and has a baby with him, but things are starting to go poorly for the Jewish magical people. A plague arrives and the magical people (you get the point so I’m going to stop now) are blamed for it. Belle’s mom goes to the castle to try and bargain for help and because she is a Good Magical Person she casts a spell of protection on all of the children in the castle. 

Meanwhile, magical folk are disappearing, but no one knows where to. To combat this, a series of people - including Mr. Potts - run a smuggling ring to get magical people out of the country. This is Important as things are continuing to go Wrong and the magical people are being blamed for all the countries ills. 

In the end, the bad guy is the man who hated his magical abilities. He’s also Monsieur D’Arque - the asylum owner. He experimented on his brain (like, actual brain surgery) to get rid of his powers, and he’s been kidnapping and torturing magical beings since in order to try and figure out how to destroy all magical beings. Let me be clear, he is pretty much a Disney Fanfic Version of Josef Mengele. His experiments were horrible. Belle’s mom was one of those taken*, and she was tortured so badly... It’s horrifying, reading the description. 

*As one of her last spells, she had removed everyone’s memories of her connection to Belle & Maurice to protect them, and that’s why D’Arque didn’t go after them at first. 

There are other things, too, little bits here and there that really made me feel uncomfortable, like the book was appropriating this historical persecution of Jewish people for it’s own ends, but again, I’m not Jewish, and therefore not qualified to make A Statement on Antisemitism. I’m just noting the things I noticed.

That’s my Number One Big Problem with the book, and why I’d probably give it 1/5 stars, if that. That being said, that wasn’t my only problem with the book. The thing is, it wasn’t a good book that used unfortunate metaphors, it just felt like really really really bad fanfic on top of that. I don’t mention the following because I think they’re equal to what I noted above, I mention the following because these were other things that really annoyed me, and I wanted to rant about it:

Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with the beast? 

You know how, in the movie, when the Beast knows that Belle is a chance to break the curse, and he still is an angry asshole to her even though realistically being kind would be more likely to cause her to fall in love with him & to break the spell.  

Yeah, forget all that. 

Belle touches the rose, learns about the curse, remembers her mother, and knows that she’s unlikely to fall in love with him now that she knows she “has” to.

The Beast, in return, turns into Bad!Fanfic!Draco/Zuko. You know, the kinds that show up in bad Dramaione/Zutara fics. (I’m not saying they’re all bad, but come on, you know what I mean when I refer to Bad Versions Of Those Fics. 

You know the archetype. 

Despite finding out that he may be Cursed Forever he puts on a tablecloth like an apron and helps Belle cook. 

................................Yeah. 

I read a Miraculous Ladybug fanfic that was Beauty and the Beast and something similar-ish occurred, but there it made sense. There it was in-character. 

Also there’s a scene where the Beast is literally groveling on his hands and knees to get Gaston’s help.

Do you see what I mean about “bad fanfic”? 

Anticlimax

The whole mob @ the asylum ends because LeFou recognizes his aunt (?) as one of the patients and that’s pretty much all it takes to turn people’s minds around. Maybe this could have worked with better set-up (LeFou’s POV book?) but... Yeah............

Anticlimactic Gaston

You know all that power he had over people in the village? How he was so well-liked he had his own theme song? How he was able to get everyone to set up a wedding in like... A day? How he had girls swooning over him? How the tavern was his house of worship? How he was able to get a mob going to attack a Dangerous Beast by sheer virtue of Who He Was in the village? How it took him plunging to his death to stop his cruelty? 

Yeah, there’s none of that in this book. 

People start recognizing the people in the asylum, and that’s just... It. They don’t turn on him, but they do turn away from him, and he just kind of... Takes it. It’s like they gave canon!Gaston valium. Why wasn’t he angry when he lost control? Why didn’t he rage when people betrayed him? Those are canon actions even before Belle meets the Beast! It just doesn’t make any sense that he’d just lie down and take it. 

And the Furries Rejoiced 

Belle doesn’t break the curse, but her mother has enough power to break part of it. The Beast somehow Stops Losing His Humanity because Luv (??) but that’s not enough to actually break the curse. The Beast asks the enchantress to break the curse on his people instead, and she does, leaving the Beast totally fine with being trapped in an alien, monstrous body. There is hope - if they can gather other fairy tale creatures to his palace*, they might be able to band together to break it. And like, I get it. People seem to have a hard on for the beastly form, but the book totally glosses over his canonical frustration with his inhuman form. See again, the cooking, and turning into LeatherPants!Draco/Zuko. It’s frustrating - again, that’s something that could have genuinely be fascinating, but it just felt like a cop-out so that the book could end with him still a furry. 

Like, do that if you want, but actually make it a consequence with some emotion behind it rather then just being kind of... Meh.   

* His palace was magically hidden & that part of the curse didn’t break meaning that it has the potential to become a haven for persecuted magical beings.

[candypainted-rogertaylor]

Harry Potter Tag

I saw those questions on Tumblr somewhere and thought I’d just answer them straight away. Feel free to do it too!

Favourite book? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Favourite film? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Favourite female character? Ginny Weasley

Favourite male charakter? Ron Weasley

Favourite character in overall? Because the question is about one character I’d say George Weasley but I love Fred Weasley too. I’m just a diehard Weasley in general haha

Favourite animal (e.g. Hedwig, Buckbeak, Crookchanks)? I’m torn between Hedwig and Buckbeak. Hedwig was so loyal and Buckbeak is my definition of freedom. I really don’t know.

Favourite magical creature (e.g. Thestral, Hippogriff, Dementor, House-elf)? I love house-elfs so much (but I’d never use them as a servant)

Favourite subject? Must probably be Defence Against the Dark Arts because of Dumbledore’s Army

Favourite teacher in overall? Professor McGonagall

Favourite DADA teacher? Remus Lupin!!!!

Favourite villain? Narcissa Malfoy because of her motherly love and her courage to turn against her husband and lie to Voldemort even though she could’ve known it will be his end but Draco was more important to her.

Favourite quote? “Give her hell from us, Peeves”, this one is quite important to me because this day the twins became legends and it was one of their greatest achievements they were still able to make together.

Favourite scene? The conversation between Fred and George after Georgie lost his ear. Or the one as they stand on the tower and George asks Fred if he’s okay. I can’t decide, I always tear up at both of them because of all this brotherly love.

Favourite scene/event/thing/character that wasn’t included in the films? Since it is my favourite quote “Give her hell from us, Peeves” and Peeves saluting the twins afterwards is a thing I’d have really loved to see in the movie.

Your house? Gryffindor af. Sorry for being boring and cliché but Pottermore’s and myself’s opinion is that I’m definitely a Gryffindor

Your Patronus? I got a Mogrel Dog on Pottermore that I’m pretty satisfied with since Ron got a Jack Russel Terrier, George got a coyote and Fred a hyena which are all somehow related with each other.

Your wand? Alder wood with a Dragon heartstring core, 141⁄4’’ and Slightly Springy flexibility

Favourite spell? Accio. I mean how easy is everything with that spell?

Death Eaters or Dumbledore’s Army? Dumbledore’s Army all the way

Favourite horcrux? Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem was cool

Favourite Hallow? The Invisibility Cloak. You could curse so much mischief!

Favourite snack/dish/drink? Chocolate Frogs probably

Favourite Potion? Amortentia.

Favourite canon couple? Ron and Hermione are the cutest couple ever , sorry not sorry

Favourite non-canon couple? Neville and Luna for sure

Durmstrang or Beauxbatons? Beauxbatons because these girls are lit

Hogwarts or Ilvermorny? Hogwarts of course duh

Least favourite character? Bellatrix. She’s still lit but killed Sirius and tortured the Longbottom’s. No mercy for this…. and Lucius Malfoy. He’s an ass.

Least favourite book? I love all of them so much but uhm maybe Chamber of Secrets? I DON’T KNOW

Least favourite film? Deathly Hallows part 1. I like the films after all but this one’s the most boring to me.

Least favourite teacher? Umbridge the lil shit

What would your job in the wizarding world be? I’d help George and Ron with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes or have my own little shop in Diagon Alley. Oooor I’d become a teacher at Hogwarts.

Would you  play Quidditch? If yes, which position? I’d love to if I got the abilities. I’d like to be a beater then.

Favourite extra-book (e.g. Quidditch through the ages)? Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them hehehe

Favourite place (could be anything: Hogsmeade, Grimmauld Place, Forbidden Forest, Diagon Alley etc.)? The Burrow. That’s all I have to say.

List the houses starting with the one you are most sure to get into, finishing with the one you are least likely to be in. Gryffindor → Hufflepuff → Ravenclaw → Slytherin I feel like I’d have some kind of Harry-situation at the Sorting Ceremony, that the hat doesn’t know where to put me but I wouldn’t want to be sorted into Slytherin and then it would probably just turn out to be Gryffindor.

Would you join the Triwizard Tournament? I think I’d put my name into the goblet but I wouldn’t be too mad if it didn’t chose me. I’d just support my favourite participant hardcore then.

One character you would bring back from the dead? Sorry to Sirius, Dobby, Dumbledore, Remus, Tonks & Co., you’ve been good, friends but I’d bring back Freddie Weasley. I can’t stand that George doesn’t get over his twins death and I don’t wanna imagine how sad he must be.

Your blood status? I don’t really care because I don’t think it’s that important but I’d most likely be a half-blood probably. I could imagine my granny and mummy be great witches, a bit Molly Weasley-like but my dad would totally be a Muggle haha

Who would you want to go to the Yule Ball with? George Weasley. Or Ron perhaps *innocent grin*

What would you see in the Mirror of Erised? Me and all my loved ones being genuinely happy and alive.

What would be your Boggart? A spider perhaps? Or Voldemort….

What would you feel if you smelled Amortentia? The salty sea, old but also new books, bonfire, burnt paper, after-rain air

Favourite gift from the series (e.g. Firebolt, the Weasley jumper, the Triwizard Tournament winning)? Weasley jumper!!!!!!

Favourite Marauder? Sirius my luv

Team Jily or tem Snily? Sorry Severus, you’ve been a great one but I’m team Jily. They fit  so good.

Any moments that made you cry? I cried as Sirius died, as Dobby died, as Dumbledore died, as Snape died, as Remus and Tonks died, I cried at Snape’s memory. As Fred died I cried a fucking river, goodbye.

Is there a film you preferred to the books? No. Not at all. I mean who would??

Favourite song from the OST? God I really don’t know there are so many but I love the ones from Deathly Hallows part 2 “Lily’s Theme”, “Courtyard Apocalypse”, “Statues” and “Harry’s Sacrifice”. Oh and “Do The Hippogriff” or “Magic Works” from TGOF hahaha

Which character do you think you’d instantly become friends with? The Weasley-twins hehe

Favourite Weasley? George (and Fred)!!

How did you start your journey with HP? My older brother was obsessed with it and pushed me right into it with him.

Were you happy with the ending? Yeah I liked it. Just all those deaths were so sad.

How much does Harry Potter mean to you? I can’t express that in words. Harry Potter means the world to me. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for Joanne writing those masterpieces and fuck… All this whole universe has always been some kind of escape for me. When I spend my freetime with it I can forget about all the stress and it just helped me through a lot of tough stuff. Like I said, I can’t express what I feel for all this in words. It’s everything to me.