#I love waking up at 7:30 only to wait 4 and a half hours for class

[cloveracity]

I recently made this playlist that is full of songs that make feel like a magical boy/slice of life protagonist. I’ve been listening to it a lot lately lol, I’ve just been needing pick-me-up music.

I still have two hours until class (ough) so I’m going to try to speedrun my way through hiragana and katakana, then see if I can do any kanji. I figure since I get to campus so early, I might as well.

We’ll see what happens today. I’m feeling kind of tender for reasons outside of my control www. I’m trying to just push through today so I can get to my bed as fast as possible.

Also, I ordered a clover bracelet! It should be arriving sometime this week, so I’m really excited to show it off! It’ll be nice to have that reminder always with me, y’know?

[sturnstvs]

eras tour - matt sturniolo

summary: matt takes his best friend to the eras tour but maybe a specific song will bring out their true feelings for each other

warnings: use of y/n

requested: no

note: this is part 2 to birthday surprise

after waiting some long months, it was finally may meaning that it was also finally eras tour month. matt was glad that it was finally here so y/n would stop talking about it. he loved his best friend however hearing her talk about a concert 24/7 can be exhausting. it also didn't help that y/n lived with them to, so he couldn't escape it.

y/n decided she wanted to go all out, I mean everyone was. she started making friendship bracelets and planning her and matt's outfits as soon as she got those tickets. she was making bracelets almost everyday, she probably had almost 100, which matt thought was ridiculous but she kept saying that this was important as she was doing it for the "girlhood" part of it. so matt let her. he didn't want to ruin the girls happiness.

it was now may 4th and matt and y/n were on their way to the airport after saying their goodbyes to nick and chris, which took longer then y/n would like. (matt loves his brothers what did you expect?) once they got to the airport they put their bags and such through luggage claim and about a half an hour later they got onto the plane.

(I'm kinda making this up Idk how airports irl work)

the plane ride wasn't too long which matt and y/n were grateful for. they got off the plane quickly grabbing their luggage before getting an uber. after their uber came they got to the hotel not long after.

it was around 7:30 when they finally got to the hotel, so the two were quite hungry as they haven't eaten yet, but y/n and matt thought it would be a good idea to get some dinner and enjoy being in nashville for more then just a concert.

after dinner y/n and matt got back into their hotel laughing at a funny story they heard on the way back from dinner.

"we are so going to have to tell nick that story" y/n giggled

"oh trust me he will definitely want to here that" matt agreed.

"I'm a bit tired I'm going to go get ready for bed" y/n told matt shortly after their laughter had died down

"already? but its only like 10" matt voiced

"yes, I'm very much aware but we have a long day tomorrow" y/n reminded him coming out of the bathroom for a moment still washing her face

"were just going sight seeing and to a concert" matt told her confused

"yeah, a three and a half hour concert, plus we need to wake up early enough to go sight seeing then get back to the hotel to get ready. and we need to leave at like 4:30 to get an uber to get to the venue, and hopefully get merch and watch the openers, which I love gracie by the way so we are not missing that, then her actual concert starts at 8 and we will leave around midnight, so yes matthew we will have a busy day tomorrow, so get some sleep" y/n exclaimed while finishing washing her face, while matt just stood there with a shocked face

"wow, I didn't realize this is going to be literally a whole day" matt voiced

"yeah it is, now let me finish getting ready" y/n finished before shutting the bathroom door

by the time both matt and y/n were done getting ready for bed and in bed it was around 11:30. the two were sharing a bed because they thought it would be better sense there's only two of them, and they slept in each other's bed's all the time anyway.

the next day they woke up at around 7 in the morning to get breakfast. it was wired for matt, he was so used to not sleeping until like 4 or 5 and walking up at like two, but unfortunately they had things to do.

the two ate their breakfast quickly before getting dressed for sight seeing. they toured nashville and the good tourist attractions and had quite a lot of fun. they took pictures and videos to show chris and nick later.

around 2 y/n told them they should leave which matt agreed with. for y/n 2 was already pushing it. the got back to the hotel around 2:30 and y/n was quick to start getting ready.

the girl was in the middle of curling her hair when she threw matt's outfits at him

"what the fuck is this?" matt asked

"your outfit for the concert" y/n shrugged

matt just rolled his eyes in response going to put on his outfit.

y/n finished curling her hair and putting it in a ponytail with a purple bow in it. after her hair was done she did her makeup. which was her simple base with false eyelashes and glitter eye shadow. after her makeup, she quickly went to grab her purple dress in her suitcase before seeing matt sitting on the bed on his phone waiting for her.

"well don't you look handsome" y/n teased slightly meaning it

matt froze hearing y/n's beautiful voice.

"oh thank you" matt responded with a smile

matt was wearing a purple button up with some khaki pants. y/n thought it was simple but good enough for matt.

grabbing her purple dress she put it on quickly as it was already nearing 4. after that she only had a few more things for her and matt.

grabbing nail polish and eyeliner she wrote a thirteen on her and matt's hand. after, she grabbed her sharpie and wrote some lyrics on her arm. if you couldn't already tell speak now was the album y/n was going for.

grabbing her bag of friendship bracelets and her and matt's clear bag to take into the arena they were headed out of the door.

matt and y/n took an uber to the stadium (which took a little longer because of traffic) getting out of the uber they started walking to get in line, well matt waited in line while y/n went to go get some merch from the stand. matt got into the stadium quite quickly and he couldn't help but be impressed by first, the amount of people that were already there and by how big the stage actually was.

y/n got to matt soon after holding merch and having bracelets now all over her arms. y/n had gotten stopped a few times to trade bracelet's with some people that knew her from the internet.

they went through the openers quicky and matt could tell y/n was already having so much fun. once it hit 8 taylor came on stage and the concert started. y/n tried explaining to matt a little bit about everything in the car and showed him a little bit during the concert as well, but she was having too much fun to really show him.

once the end notes to bad blood played y/n started screaming louder knowing that the next set was the surprise songs.

taylor got to the microphone and the whole stadium was cheating excited for what song she was going to play.

"um so I've been planning something for a while, and um you know how I love to plan things, and then you know how I love to surprise you with the things I've been planing, its like, its just something, its my love language with you, you know, I plot, I scheme, I plan and then I get to tell you about it. so, I think rather than me like speaking about it um..." the crowd cheered louder thinking about what she might do while taylor just stood there and let them scream, giggling every once and a while.

y/n started tearing up. if this was what she thought it was, then she couldn't be happier. some people would say she was overreacting but this meant more to her then anyone could imagine.

"I thought I would just show you, so if you would direct your attention to the back big screen, that we have" and with that the words speak now taylor's version available july 7th showed up on the scream and y/n started shouting and bursting into tears. matt was a bit confused but cheered anyway considering this was important. he also filmed y/n's reaction the whole time, going to tease her about it later and probably post it to tiktok to, with y/n's permission of course.

everyone continued cheering, once the cheering slowed down taylor stared singing her first surprise song of the night but not before saying

"speak now comes out July 7th"

as the first words to sparks fly came out of her mouth y/n and matt looked at each other in shock.

this was their song.

"oh my fucking god! this is our song" y/n screamed at matt trying to slow down her tears of joy.

as the song continued matt couldn't help but think maybe this was his chance. his chance to tell y/n how he feels.

"y/n I think this might be the perfect time to say this and If I don't say this right now I might not ever get the courage again. I like you a lot y/n...no scratch that I love you like really love you as more then a friend, and I know you probably don't feel the same way but I needed you to know that" matt confessed while y/n had more tears in her eyes. her makeup was definitely off for the night

putting her arms around matt's neck as the song came to a close y/n smiled.

"I love you as more then a friend to matt" y/n muttered and sealed their lips together with a kiss. a kiss that spoke more words then actual words ever could.

matt and y/n enjoyed the rest of their night together, with a newfound sense of comfort in both of their hearts. man did they have a lot to tell nick and chris about

as they were leaving the stadium once the lights were turned on y/n was checking her phone and saw that someone air dropped a video to her. curiously y/n clicked on the video confused at what it could be.

it was a video of her and matt's whole reaction to sparks fly and their confession. soon after y/n felt a tap on her shoulder.

"you guys are so cute! you 100% deserved that tonight and congratulations" the stranger who took the video said.

y/n thanked the girl before she asked for a picture of her and herself to commemorate the night which she agreed to.

matt never thought that some silly tickets he thought would be a nice gesture for y/n would turn into a full on love confession between them and he couldn't be happier

note: this is not always going to be this taylor swift heavy but I thought it was cute 😊

if you want to be on my taglist comment on that post. you can find it on my pinned post

[craby-bouquet]

Warm Winter Promptlist

We're back with a new Warm Winters!

I started this series in 2019 to fight winter blues with fluff! You can find the whole Warm Winters series here!

You can find the prompts under the cut. So...

Send me a Seventeen or BTS member and 1 or 2 prompts and I will write a short, fluffy story using your prompts and your man!!

Warm winters 2023-2024

1 "Take mine, I don't need it anyway."

2 "You're cold, aren't you?"

3  "There's… only one bed."

4 "Your love will keep me warm."

5 "Those lights are beautiful there."

6 "You bought me a present? I thought we weren't gonna do presents this year."

7 "no I won't be your fake partner to your office Christmas party, don't you remember what happened last time!?"

8 "Don't lie. You hate it."

9 ""You've been laying on my arm all night and I can't feel it."

10 "Yeah so, funny story, I actually thought you would maybe give me a new years kiss? But I guess not, which is fine! Don't worry. I didn't really care anyway." 

11 "...Wow. You look like a princess."

12 "Dance with me."

13 "I… I didn't know you could play the piano."

14 "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

15 "Sing for me?"

16 "It'll be a blue Christmas without you."

17 "I miss you."

18 "All I want for Christmas is you."

19 "I really can't stay."

20 "Baby it's cold outside."

21 "That's a tad too optimistic for me."

22 "Why are you awake right now?"

23 "Wake up! Please wake up! It snowed!"

24 "Is there a reason you're blushing right now?" 

25 "Have you seen my hoodie? You know that one with the blue stripe in the… Wait, you're wearing it, aren't you?"

26 "Are we on a date right now?" "No. We're snowed in." "Ah… so it is a date then?"

27 "I'm not blushing, I'm just cold -or warm. or… whatever. But I'm not blushing."

28 "I think I'm in love with you."

29 "You want hot chocolate?"

30 "The moon sure does look beautiful tonight."

31 "All I do is drink hot drinks and say bad words."

32 "Your feet are so cold!" 

33 "I'm too sober for this."

34 "Wow! I didn't know you could sing."

35 "We'd both warm up faster if we would take off our clothes." "Fuck off."

36 "A water fight? Are you crazy? It's way too cold for that."

37 "I'm the reason you got sick in the first place. So yes, I am indeed going to take care of you."

38 "Can you put on anything other than the Spotify Christmas playlist? I'm sick of it."

39 "It's January! Why are you still listening to Mariah Carey?"

40 "So… valentines is coming up…"

41 "Santa left a lot of presents this year."

42 "Wow, I asked for you, and I actually got you. That Santa guy really is amazing."

43 "I don't want that, I just want to finish my book."

44 "I wanted to say 'I love you' for the first time on Christmas Eve…  but I guess you were a step ahead of me."

45 "Tell me that when you're sober."

46 "Who thought I'd find my soulmate on new years eve?"

47 "You've been giving me bedroom eyes for the last half hour."

48 "“All I want is to sleep by your side.”

49 “I didn’t get soaking wet and ice cold by walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

50 "I missed you."

51 "Are you trying to seduce me?"

52 "How can even still see out of your glasses? They're so dirty!"

53 "I always wanted a Christmas wedding."

54 "Kiss me."

55 "I'll cry." "Is that meant to be a threat?"

56 "That's starting to get on my nerves."

57 "Okay, answer me honestly. Are you, or are you not, Satan himself?"

58 "How can you not like christmas?"

59 "Will you marry me?"

60 "is... Is that a mistletoe? Now that's good timing"

61 "You should have told me sooner."

62 "That might actually be the best present I ever got."

63 "I didn't know you could play the piano."

64 "Are you seriously wearing a donkey onesie?"

65 "no I'm not drunk and yes that was a serious question!"

66 "Wait! Hold that thought! I really, really need to pee. Be right back."

67 “Are you an angel?”

68 "I hope our baby looks like you." 

69 "Don't be so gentle. You can hug me tighter y'know- I'm not going to pop or anything."

70 "I'll run you a nice, warm bath." "Excuse me? Why don't you run us a bath? I'm not gonna bathe by myself, that's boring."

71 ""Happy Valentine's Day"

72 "This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me."

73 "Who would have thought I would find my soulmate on new years eve?"

74 "Your nose is so red, you look like Rudolph. Are you sure you're okay?"

75 "Look, it's a full moon tonight."

76 "I know we're engaged but I'm so in love with you."

77 "You outshine the stars."

78 "Did you mean that romantically this whole time?"

79 "Look, The blossom is coming through already."

80 "You made it."

masterlist | warm winter masterlist

[nathank77]

4/27/24

10:59 p.m Edited/Added to

So I had heart palpitations when I closed my eyes again last night... luckily they passed and fell asleep on just the half MG of xanax. I didn't need any other drugs, thankfully.

I woke up around 12, that's the longest I've slept straight through the night since psychosis minus after microsleep, while I was smoking weed. The nights I didn't microsleep during October I could sleep through like 7-10 hours. That was only like 4 or 5 nights between October 10th and November 3rd... and then when I started sleeping regularly again I was able to sleep like 6-10 hours straight when I was smoking pot. Then I quit pot and insomnia got terrible...

And before Xanax when I finally fell asleep after, "black heading," for hours I could stay asleep longer like 6-10 hours but it took so long just to fall asleep and some nights I never did...

Then I started Xanax and I've been able to fall asleep but usually i wake up ever 2-3 hours...

Anyways I took benadryl at 12 and then passed back out. Woke up at 2 p.m and then fell back to sleep without benadryl and slept until about 3:30 or 4 p.m idk bc microsleep fucked with my ability to know if I slept or not... all I know is that's why I keep a sleep tracker...

I decided not to do my laundry... I need to do my bedding and I've been putting it off bc my hoodies pile up so fast from Contamination.. and I need to have them to use the sleeves to grab stuff, so i have to plan to do my bedding the day after I do my clothing and towels bc otherwise I have a huge pile and can't do it all in one day.

However I needed a day with limited to no bathroom time. My laundry machine is in the bathroom, and even if it wasn't, doing laundry triggers major OCD. So I just decided to have a red bull day aka two 12oz red Bulls in a day and play video games.

I'm glad I made that decision. I'm playing bully and working on chapter 5. I am cooking dinner and taking a break. I should have that finished and uploaded prob around 3 or 4 a.m depending on how slow my MacBook is bc I've had to piece together the video bc of breaks... I'm taking pictures so I can submit them to apple so I can get my computer looked at and have a case at the apple store but I have to do it over the phone first and submit pictures. To combine a 1 hour video I have to wait 20 minutes it's ridiculous.

Anyways, I got my sneakers, I love them but the right shoe squeezes my baby toe strangely I've been fucking with the laces but I can't seem to get it right. Idk if this is one of those beauty is pain things or what but I might return them bc it's uncomfortable and if I get lines in them, they won't take them back but we see. It's actually both toes when I walk... I might do a return.

I'm hoping I can get some good gameplay today. Unfortunately I'm stuck on my old Xbox one s bc my stupid cloud saves won't transfer over to my series x which is fucking obnoxious...

Idc about most of my saves but I care about some-

1) Silent Hill 2 bc of my 10 star thank God that transferred over.

2) far cry 2 bc I have a over 20 hour save file and I'm half way through the game but it won't transfer to my new system......

3) Bully bc I have almost a 100% completion save file and one achievement left for 100% but it won't transfer.....

4) Minecraft bc of my castle which I've invested over 36 days working on thankfully that transferred over.

5) Silent Hill Homecoming bc I unlocked all the endings but whatever I can live without it even though it's obnoxious.... it won't transfer..

Anyways I won't play fc2 on my old system bc I'll easily play over 20 hours on the second half so I have to troubleshoot it..... I already tried for hours last night.

I'm sucking up bully for now to finish my playlist and I may accept losing the 100% completion save file which is fucked.

It's nice trying to relax but technology is a bitch and yea... I only picked Bully bc it doesn't trigger my OCD.

Also I've noticed at least in one way my hallucination has improved. When I played bully months ago the entire experience was intruded upon by the hallucination... however I think the last time I played it was like November when it was much worse.

There is a lot of dialogue so it helps drown it out. I've noticed with games with dialogue I can enjoy them mostly.

[shop-korea]

🌈 HER - DAUGHTER - EITHER HALF

PINAY - KOREAN - DAD BUT SPEAKS

KOREAN - WELL - KIDS - AND - MANY

LANGUAGES - THEY - DO THAT WELL

SO - DID - I - GEMINI - JUNE - BEST IN

LANGUAGE - RETENTION - WELL - MY

NOSE - SIDES - BOTTOM - HURT - BAD

SWOLLEN - HARD - 2 - DEAL - WITH

FINAL - COLDS - BLK - MALE - WAS

TRYING - 2 - PEAK - IN - MAKING FL

CERTAIN - WHO’s - INSIDE - SELF

PROCLAIMED - MAYOR - OF THE

HOMELESS - NEAR - THE TRACK

RAILROAD - 2ND - AMENDMENT

RIGHT - 2 - KEEP - BEAR - ARMS

MIAMI POLICE - MALE - WOMAN

WAS - FRIENDLIER - GLAD - I’M

HOMELESS - AGAIN - AND BACK

OF - WALMART - EXIT

NORTHSIDE - METRORAIL - AND

AGAIN - TONIGHT - TRAIN - BOTH

WAYS - CLOSES - AT - 8P EST

SHUTTLE - BUSES - MUST BE

THERE - FINAL - HOUR - FROM

7P - TRUE - LOVE - THE - TRUE

SQUISHY - FEELING - VELVET

TWIN - AIR - MAT - REAL THICK

MANUAL - WAS - HARD AT THE

END - REAL - DARK - THOUGH

THE - WIRELESS - LAMPS - AT

AMAZON - BECAME - $49.99

SELLERS - WHO - WON’T US

MAKE - IT - REMEMBER THE

TESTIMONIALS

JORDAN WELCH

$6 MILLION

KAI - SOON - MADE - MORE THAN

HIS - PARENTS - $4,000 - DAILY US

DIDN’T - SPEND - ANY - MONEY AS

HE - UPLOADED - 2 - VIDEOS

DAILY - AT - TIK TOK - REALLY

CAN’T - WAIT - BUT - OTHER - GUY

1 ITEM - OF - JORDAN’s

$1 MILLION - LESS THAN - A YEAR

SELLING - AT - SHOPIFY

JUST - 1 ITEM - THIS - IS EXCITING

JUST - MY - CALVIN KLEIN - HUGE

NAVY - COAT - 4 - WINTER SHERPA

NECK - AREA - FELT - SO GOOD AS

MY - COMFORTER - 4 - VERY - THIN

THE - BLANKET - OF - MOTHER 

TERESA - TOILET - CAN’T - FLUSH

SO - USED - CHLOROX WIPES ITS

ILLEGAL - BROOM - MOP - WHY

CAN’T - EVERYONE - DO THEIR

OWN - ROOM - EACH - ALL - AT

SAME - TIME - SHARING

WHY - ONLY - 2 EACH - ONE JUST

HALLWAY - AND - STAIRS - ( 2 )

ME - BROOMED - WHOLE - FLOOR

EXCEPT - 1 ROOM - BEDS - UNDER

OTHER - MOPPED - OUR - DAYS

ASSIGNED - MINE - WAS - FRIDAY

SHE - WANTED - ME - 2 - MOP TOO

THE - KITCHEN - ANOTHER - DID

WHILE - BLK - FEMALE - JUST

BROOMED - AND - TABLE WAS

DIRTY - BLKS - LAZIEST

AND - I - ASKED - HER - 2 HELP

ME - ACCUSED - OF - LOUD

NOISES - 8P - 5:30A

HISPANIC - WOMEN - AND - BLK

WOMEN - FIGHTING - 4 - THEIR

RIGHT - 2 - DONUTS - BREAKFAST

DINNER - CHICKEN - AND - YUCKY

RICE - DIFFERENT - RECIPES

RIGHT - 2 - FLAT - PILLOWS

THIN - BLANKET - NO - AIR CONDI - 

TIONING - BUT - DUSTY - HUGE

FANS - IS - ILLEGAL

WOMAN - PRUNE - BAG - WORKS

ILLEGALLY - 7 DAYS SHE SLEEPS

THERE - NO - ONE - CAN - WORK

7 DAYS - OR - 6 DAYS - PRESENT

NO - SHOWER - MORNING MANY

WAKE - UP - EARLY - 3:30A - 2 YES

SHOWER - OR - DO - THEIR TRUE

THINGS - YET - I - WAS - SAID - TO

MAKE - LOUD - NOISES

GLAD - THEY - DON’T - KNOW - ME

CAN - SING - I - WILL - ILLUSTRATE

IN - MANY - CHILDREN’s - STORIES

ABOUT - MISSIONARIES - OF 

MOTHER - TERESA - 10 MIN - YES

SHOWERS - ILLEGAL - ALL - TRUE

TAKE - MORE - THAN - 30 MIN - IN

THE - BATHROOMS - NO - LOCKS

ILLEGAL - THAT - THERE - ARE NO

BATHROOM - LOCKS - EVERYONE

CAN - SEE - NUDITY - IN - AWFUL

WAY - BROTHEL - OF - MOTHER

TERESA - VULGAR - WOMEN AS

I - SAID - NEVER - GO 2 SPANISH

COURT - ALREADY - GUILTY

SPANISH - PRISON - OFFER $$$$

CASH - YOU’RE - FREED - EASY

I - NEED - 2 - GET - MY - EIN

TRAINS - SUPER LOUD - WHEN

QUITER - AT - NIGHT

APRIL - WHEN - I - TURN - AGE 60

WALMART - HOPE - SALES STILL

SAME - BIG - FOLDABLE - TABLE

ALUMINUM BROWN - WAS - $10

$15 - 2 PROPANE - GAS - 16 OZ

EACH PACK - $2.97 - JUST - PUT

ABOVE - AND - BOTTOM - ONE

BURNER - 2 - COOK - POT ALSO

NEEDED - MAKING - BURGERS

BECAUSE - CHICKEN - HUGE 2

NUMBERS - 2 - FRY - FRY CAN’T

WAIT - THAT - TABLE - 2 - COOK

CHAIR - ALSO - ROSS - NEARBY

2 - BUY - MY - CHAIR - $12.99

WITH - CUSHION - BUT - WILL

THINK - ABOUT - TEMPERATURE

OF - TENT - ABOUT - PROPANE 2

[gorewh0re90x-blog]

diary entries...

TW: substances, ed, TMI situations

1/7/2024

6pm

im so tired. i havent been this tired since i quit doing dope 7 months ago. i still miss her almost everyday. my one true love. she was with me through everything the last 12 years. our relationship was toxic as hell but she will always be the one who got away. even if (when) i relapse and run back to her it will always end. it might end in death or just another rehab but it will always end. thats the thing with her, no matter how many times i run back i always have to leave, even if its for a little bit. theres no way around it. i start doing good in life and i run back to her warm and beautiful arms. the beginning is always the best, the honeymoon phase, but it doesnt last longer than 6 months. she always asks for more and more. more time, more money, more attention, more destruction. we lay in bed all day and all night as she whispers sweetly in my ear 'you dont need any of this..not this job, not this money, not your friends, not your family, not the outside world..you only need me..' and i always agree because its true, i only need her to be ok with being alive. no matter how many times we go through the same notions, i always listen to her..how can i not? when im with her nothing else matters, nothing means a thing. she makes me feel so safe, so warm, so invincible, so beautiful, so amazing.. its only her, always and forever.. until she takes everything away from me, as she always does, and drags me to rock bottom where the only choice i have left, is to leave her again..

9pm

idk whats wrong with me the last few days. im so tired and feeling like crap. it cant be not enough sleep because im sleeping. it cant be not enough food because im eating. im tired, my stomach hurts, im cold until I get in bed and under the covers and then im hot. my head hurts. my body aches, although that could be just me trying to work out too much. it feels like im constipated but im still going a little everyday. consistency of soft serve ice cream, which is super foreign to me. ive been constipated for the last 12 years, going once a week, if i was lucky, and when i did go it was like pushing out baseballs made out of rocks. this whole thing is just strange and exhausting. i just feel like I have the flu. i took dulcolax, my savior, an hour and a half ago and im hoping it clears out everything i ate the last 4 days and not just little swirls of crap that take 10mins of wiping to clean up. gross, i know. i just want to sleep but i don't want to wake up at midnight and be wide awake til i get back from the clinic at 6:30am. maybe ill be able to sleep for the next 6 hours and then just work out some until its time to head to the clinic at 5:30. i took an hour nap earlier around 5pm and had a weird dream.. it had to do with 2 guys breaking in and trying to shoot us unsuccessfully and ended up with me stabbing one and the other getting shot. hopefully its not some premission.. im gonna try to nap.

1/8/2024

12:05am

i decided to let myself get an oreo mcflurry every sunday since ive been doing so well with my diet and exercise. i figured that since i burn more than the 510cal thats in the dam thing every day anyway, i can be a fat fucking pig and have one. theyre just so dam good 😩 cutting out all sugar has been a nightmare over the last month. ive spent the whole time i was an h addict living on sugar so its been rough. it will be totally worth it though. i should reach my current goal weight of 100lbs in the next 10 months or less as long as i keep doing what ive been doing. i cant wait to be thin and beautiful. i dont need drugs as long as im thin 🖤

1/9/2024

1am

i ate that slice of cheese pizza i said i wouldnt touch..378cals. 378!! im such a fat pig. disgusting. it doesnt matter that i burned twice as much in calories today. the only thing that matters is that i didn't have enough self control to not eat that dam slice of pizza. i hate that my husband eats the foods i cant have every freaking day. i know me needing to lose weight is not his problem but it still sucks to be put in these situations everyday. if its not pizza its cookies and sweets and danishes and everything else I cant eat. fuck this sucks so bad! starting tomorrow i need to burn more than 700-900cals each day. i need to walk more than 10-13k steps. i need to eat less than 1400cal each day. idc if im technically still losing weight. its not enough. i need to do better and damnit i will do better.

11pm

i ate less but didnt get to work out as much as i wanted to. i guess tomorrow will be better. it better be at least. i need to get to sleep before 3am tonight so i dont sleep til 5pm tomorrow.. i have to be up at 530am to go to the clinic 5 times a week and by 11am im so exhausted i need a freaking nap or im falling over on my feet. i think they need to lower the dose on my medicine. this is getting super annoying. i just wanna be thin already. fml.

1/11/2024

12:36am

today was good. i walked over 13k steps, worked out for an hour, burned about 1000cals and only ate about 800cals. definitely getting a hang of this. didnt have a headache either. got a decent amount of sleep too. im definitely gonna ask my clinic to lower the dose on my medication because im sure thats why im tired all the time. im super sore from the gym the other day but tomorrow i have to go either way. hopefully it wont be too crowded because i get really bad anxiety and paranoia around strangers. i hate going outside. goodnight my lovelies, i hope youre all staying on track and getting closer to your ugw 🖤🚬🦋

1/13/2024

5:16am

i had a good day yesterday but not a great night. i burned around 1200cals and had a 90min work out plus 15k steps. less food as well. ordered some stuff off amazon ive been wanting since beginning of december so i was super happy until my husband decided to drink and be..not great. he hasnt been drinking since we moved states 7 months ago except 1 or 2 previous occasions because he gets wasted and acts a fool. he was doing good until he wasnt. it just wasnt a good experience but hes finally asleep. im exhausted from not getting more than 3 hours of sleep the previous night and having to deep clean the whole house and do my workout and now being up all night. i want to go to sleep but i have a few things to worry about due to his drinking so its not looking so good right now.. i fed the stray cats i take care of just now and im gonna lay down and listen to some creepypastas and hope for sleep to come. hope everyone is doing well 🖤🚬🦋

[collsfilmblog]

Scene Recreation mega post!!!

Hey, this post should give a brief overview of sections I have covered already on my blog and will go more in depth into the rest! 

HOW DID WE DO IT??!!

Okay so to start off with I've already explained a little bit about our film choice. We had a somewhat hard time choosing which film to do but after going through everything from Nosferatu to Baby Driver we ended up with… spuds interview from trainspotting??? Not an obvious choice but we all loved the scene, it’s very funny and seems achievable whilst still posing some challenges we would have to overcome.

Once we had chosen the scene we sprung into action looking for locations and actors. Cole, Dylan and I went to the City Cafe to ask about possibly filming there. Cole gave them his email and communicated with them. Whilst there I noted any possible risk like the small spaces and scoped where might be best for filming. The whole group then met up at Merchiston where we searched the campus, and then Craiglockhart campus for a suitable location.

We found many rooms we thought would be good but after a conversation with Andrew we realised just how accurate it had to be(WHICH IS VERY!!!!!). We looked at a couple halls and churches, really anywhere with an open space but everywhere was either very far, expensive or not accurate enough.

Some of the locations we considered

We settled on the Out of the Blue Drill hall as it had a music practice room that felt like the right atmosphere. Cliona was also confident in dressing the set so we went for it!! David booked it out and we had access for a few hours.

The day before the shoot we met up in the common room to do a camera test and to try and get all the framing and lens choices right. We had very little time on the actual sets so we wanted to make sure we were not messing around with lenses and knew roughly what framing to use. We also got to practise the dolly so we knew how we would do it on set. These are notes David and Cole made for the lenses they were going to use for each shot -

SHOT 5 - 24 SHOT 3 - 24 SHOT 4 - 24 SHOT 2 - 24 SHOT 1 - 24

SHOT 1 - 14mm SHOT 2 - 24/35mm SHOT 3 - 24 SHOT 4 - 14/24mm SHOT 5 - 24mm SHOT 6 - 35mm SHOT 7 - 24mm SHOT 8 - 24mm, could be 14mm

Shoot day

Waking up at 5:30 for a shoot is not very fun… especially when there's no hot water so you end up in a cold shower. A quick bit of breakfast and down to meet the group. Its dark, freezing and we were all tired but nevertheless morale was high. We stuck all the kit in an uber and cole and I got there by 6:30. We had half an hour to wait but decided it would be a good use of our time to start making sure camera settings were right, and to set up the tripod.

A very early start

We only an hour and 45 minutes at the City Cafe which ended up being an hour and 20 minutes after we set up and we had to be done by 8:45 so the cafe could open for 9. Needless to say it was stressful. For me atleast, a combination of a couple hours sleep and the time constraints was causing me to be a little stressed out and constantly let everyone know how much time we had. I think I did well to keep everyone on track as we got the last shot right on time before we had to pack up and leave. Cole and David were doing a really good job making sure everything was right. We did end up messing with lenses on the day but it was all okay in the end. Hope and Logan did a good job too meaning we didn't have to do many takes after setup which saved us a lot of time.

The drill hall was a much more relaxed shoot for me. We had a few more people which made lugging the kit around a bit easier and alot more time. We had a couple more shots but after seeing how well Hope knew their lines I was confident they weren't going to cause any problems schedule-wise. We had to move things about a lot during the shoot and kind of cheat the room to make it seem bigger and due to the fact that there was only one plain white wall as the other had a tv on it. This shoot also went well and I think the whole team was very happy with how we had done. Cliona did a great job on the production design with fake doors and everyone in the right costume, Cole and David did well making sure the framing was right and the actors performances were correct and Dylan did a good job on sound especially since it was his first time. 

What did I do???

Alright Coll enough just saying what happened nobody really wants to know. What IS important to the grade is what I did!!! And I know it sounds like all I did was get stressy and remind people of the time but I did other stuff too!

Risk assessments 

I did a risk assessment for both locations. Initially I had done it wrong when booking everything but putting two different projects in one risk assessment so I went back and created two separate risk assessments, one for the City Cafe and one for the practice room at the Out of the Blue Drill hall. I also made sure everyone on set was aware of the risks, especially when using lighting as a few people got close to touching a very hot light without any gloves on.

Call Sheet

I wasn't sure how call sheets worked when doing two different locations so i just put them all into one as it's still one shooting day with a very long break in between. I tried using the call sheet template that is on moodle but it genuinely started boiling my blood trying to edit the title thing. I’m not sure why but it just wouldn't work. I was on a test shoot for a grad film that had a nice looking and easy to read call sheet that got sent out so I decided to just use that as a template. I like it much better than the example on moodle but if this is the wrong way to do it im very sorry!! I’ll do it the right way next time. 

Schedule

I also created a loose schedule to follow. I knew we werent going to be hitting these marks exactly because some shots would take longer than others due to random issues but it was good to have goals, especially when we had such a short time to film in.

Booking Equipment 

I sat down with the group after doing the risk assessment and went through Siso looking for anything we might need. We might have booked a bit much and were more conservative with what we brought with us compared to our previous shoot for film narrative where we brought EVERYTHING. But we did use nearly all of it at some point or another.

Location agreements

I had to talk with the managers of the City Cafe and make them sign location agreements. I say make them sign it like I had a knife to their throat, it was more asking them very nicely but they seemed a little apprehensive. I’m not sure if location agreements are something you need to have at this stage but I figured it’s probably good practice and wouldn't hurt to have. 

On set

I was essential on the set too!! Apart from telling people we only had 15 minutes left, I was made a human C stand. In the cafe I was holding black flags and bounce pads as well as setting up most of the lighting. I also helped change lenses occasionally or helped Dylan with the sound equipment. 

At the drill hall I served pretty much the same purpose of human stand and assistant. I was also a contortionist as I had to hold the mural whilst being out of shot which meant twisting my body in some painful ways. But all is well and I have since recovered. Oh I also spent hours in the library trying to figure out how to print in colour so we could have the fire escape and no smoking signs which was fun!!

(This genuinely took me ages and is part of the reason I hardly slept the night before the shoot)

I'm really happy with how the recreation turned out, I think everyone did a really good job with their own areas and in terms of the recreation, it’s pretty accurate. I was very happy with the feedback we got and whilst its not EXACTLY the same, everyone agreed we got the tone right which is one of the trickiest things. I think we can put that mostly down to Hope but with us too!!

Anyway sorry there's so much to read I had some time to kill so pretty much wrote my thoughts. Heres a link to our production documents which are all in a nice big happy google drive together!

[caitlin-scstudyabroad]

Post 7 : Lisbon

This week my sister came to visit me for an entire week during her spring vacation! We planned to travel to Lisbon, Portugal for the weekend, and spend the remainder of the week in Barcelona. We went 4 of my other friends that are also studying abroad in Barcelona. We stayed at Hostel WOT, which was an interesting hostel fit with a huge ball pit for the guests to play in!

This hostel was in a great location and was only a 10-15 minute walk from the city center. We spent the first day exploring the hilly paths of Lisbon, many of which were filled with cool trinket shops and unique cafes and squares. My main food mission on this trip was to find the best Pastel de Nata in all of Lisbon. Pastel de Nata are custard filled pastries that are native to Portugal and they are now one of my favorite desserts. Another aspect of Lisbon that intrigued me was their transportation system; they have overground cable cars that run around the city. 

We found many markets filled with tasty treats and tapas - similar to Barcelona. We finished the day with a sunset boat cruise which was one of the highlights of this trip. It even had a fabulous DJ, setting the ambiance for the duration of the ride.

One of the various things I love about Lisbon is how beautiful it is. They have an abundance of unique streets lined with authentic tiles on the exterior of practically every building. One of my favorite streets was called “Roa Verde” which in English means Green Street. It was decorated with interesting green decor and tiny restaurants and shops. 

The most famous street is … Pink Street! One of the coolest streets I have ever seen with rainbow umbrellas overlooking the entire street. At night it becomes even more crowded with people hopping from restaurant to restaurant grabbing tapas, drinks, or mingling with other people. It is the perfect place to go if you want to meet new people- everyone is so friendly and kind.

But, this trip seemed to good to be true - and disaster struck! Sunday was (supposed to be) our final day in Lisbon. With our flight taking off at 7 am, and a 4 am wake up call, we arrived the airport early and awaited our flight. We then received an email that our flight had been delayed due to “weather.” With a clear sky outside, we patiently waited in the airport for a Vueling email to update us on our flight. Until the flashing red letters spelled out “CANCELLED” on the airport screen. We tried to find a customer service ticket desk, but there was none inside our terminal. We had to leave the terminal and go the Vueling desk - which simply did not exist. While frantically trying to find the imaginary desk, we received an email saying that our flight had been rescheduled to 7:20 pm that day. With our stress relieved, and the time reading 6:30 am, we headed back to the streets of Lisbon! We sat down for breakfast, and planned our unexpected 12 additional hours in Lisbon. With some food in our body, we went to check in for our 7:20pm flight, and realized that they had scheduled the flight out of …. Seville, Spain, instead of Lisbon, Portugal. 

Our stress levels returned to an all time high, as Seville was a four and half hour Uber ride costing $400 or a 7 hour bus ride. Chaos began to brew as we tried calling Vueling customer service, which again - did not exist. We then, traveled back to the Lisbon Airport to figure out what to do because we simply could not make it to Seville in time. Luckily, we went to a different agency and they helped us get on the next flight back to Barcelona at 11 pm that evening. We then went back to Pink Street (AGAIN) for a nice dinner, it was only 2 pm and we still had nine hours left to kill.

Although it was a hectic day, we made the most of it. Traveling to pink street a total of 4 times in one trip. This will definitely be trip I never forget!

[celestialrry]

stood up

3.5k

hello everyone!!!! I've been awol for literally weeks because i had absolutely NO motivation to write but i finally finished this piece ˊᗜˋ so YAY. ALSOO thank you for following me, liking, and reblogging my pieces (it encourages me somuchsothankyouireallyappreciateit-- and remember reblogging really helps us writers :))) )  here’s a hug for all ur patience and feel free to send me asks or requests i love talking to you guys! ε(♡'-')з

summary: Harry keeps standing Y/N up. (request from @ballerinrry! thank u love)

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and sex, angsty but with a happy ending cause for some reason i can never let them end on a bad note

Y/N was excited.

It had been a while since Harry had asked her to go on a date, it was always the other way around recently. She couldn’t blame him though, Y/N knew just how busy Harry always was, and it wasn’t like he was purposefully not asking her to go do things, he just had a lot on his plate.

That’s what she kept telling herself anyways. 

It’s what she told herself when it had been 2 weeks since they had even eaten a meal together, and given the fact that just a few months ago Harry had come back to London for a while, that was rare. So, Y/N asked him to grab lunch on a Saturday while they were lying in bed together, and when he agreed, but failed to show up, leaving Y/N sitting at the cafe, her lips morphed into a frown and her eyes not focusing on the phone in front of her, she told herself he was simply booked up with meetings and studio time and such. 

Thats what he told her when he got into bed that night to apologize for accidentally standing her up. She forgave him, of course, and suggested they could just get dinner the next week. He agreed, even walked around to his calander her to show her he was marking the date off in his calendar with a heart, her first initial, and 7:00 PM etched into the little box with red sharpie. 

So, the week passed with quick kisses of good mornings and good nights, and while Harry was gone Y/N had on a black dress she had been excited to wear for a while now, with those little mini silver heels and a coat strung over her shoulders as she sat on her couch waiting for Harry to swing by to pick her up. She shot him a text that simply asked “You otw? xx”

He was not.

It took about 30 minutes of waiting on their couch to realize he was standing her up, again. And it took until the next morning for Harry to see her text (his phone had been on do not disturb while he was at the studio and he ended up spending the night at Sarah and Mitch’s after a few beers), and for the guilt to seep through his veins. 

He apologized, again. And Y/N forgave him, again. 

Only until it got to the point where Y/N no longer remembered the amount of times Harry had stood her up, for being at the studio, or sleeping after a meeting, or simply just not paying attention to his phone, she knew there was a problem. 

Harry was fully aware of the problem too. He knew that this was no way to ever treat a partner, and if someone was doing this to him, he’d dump them— well, he’s never been one to end a relationship unless it was necessary, so that’s an exaggeration, but it’s the principle of the thing. 

Which is why when he got home one day around 11 PM, gave her a kiss to the forehead after she sat up in their bed to give him a hug, and a soft  “Can we talk?” escaped her lips, he knew he had to fix this. So he asked her if they could talk over dinner the next night, he just wanted to sleep but also wanted to fix things with his girl, asking her if she was free of course, before telling her he’s gonna make a reservation at that nice restaurant the two of them used to go to quite often, because “it’s been a while since I’ve taken my favorite girl out”.

A grin broke out on her face because he had asked her! And if Harry was planning it, there’s no way he’d cancel or stand her up. 

 So yeah, Y/N was excited.

She woke up that morning with a smile on her face, and something akin to a what she thinks a rainbow would feel like running through her veins. It had only been a few months since she’d last been on a date with her boyfriend of almost 2 years and a half in person, and she was going to make the most of it. Because after this date, things would change. They’d spend more time together again and it would be like this little bump (that neither had acknowledged) never happened.

Y/N did, well, everything to prepare. Took a long shower, shaved, put on that coconut lotion Harry likes— he tended to dig his face in her neck when he smelled it while holding her—, brushed her teeth more than 3 times, dug in her closet to find that one patterned soft purple dress she bought ages ago but never had a change to wear it, until now, put on those really cute heels Harry said he liked once (“Looks like something you’d wear on a runway pet, I love ‘em.”), and even styled her hair differently than normal.

He had told her he would swing by at 8 on the dot after the studio, and soon enough, it was 8, with no sign from the man who made the promise himself. Y/N thought maybe there was traffic, he was just running late, texted him a quick, “Can’t wait to see you!! xxx” and put her phone on the coffee table, waiting on their couch. 

8 turned to 9, 9 turned to 10, 10 turned to 11, and soon it was midnight. Y/N doesn’t think she’d ever felt more empty than how she felt then, walking to their shared room of a year, slipping off her heels and tossing them towards the closet, as well as pulling her dress over herself and letting it fall to the floor behind her, grabbing that one t-shirt she always wears when she needs comfort (which just happened to an extra 2018 Live on Tour shirt Harry had laying around that she snatched just 3 months into them dating), and flopping into bed.  

She couldn’t fall asleep, and instead spent her time curled up in their bedsheets, a steady flow of tears making their way down her blush covered cheeks.

。:°ஐ

Harry usually didn’t make mistakes.

Sure, he had his moments, grabbing the wrong coffee off the counter when his name was called at the cafe, forgetting to text Jeff that he actually couldn’t make it to a meeting that was scheduled in a few hours. Just little things, things that didn’t matter that much, and could always be fixed. He didn’t usually make mistakes that weren’t easy to fix. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

Until, he was.

Harry loved Y/N. He loved having her around, loved spending time with her, loved loving on her, loved kissing her, loved touching her, loved the way she went about almost everything. He was so in love with her, that hurting her was out of the question. He never wanted to be the one to make her cry, make her bottom lip quiver before the tears rushed out like he’d seen many times before, due to movies, his songs (which as sadistic as it sounds was an ego builder to have someone so close to him so affected by the music he wrote), her school work, or even her friends that weren’t being so nice.

In fact, he was so in love with her, even being so afraid of commitment (it took him over a year of them dating to ask her to move in), all he wanted to do was blurt out those 4 dreaded words. “Will you marry me?” It was a bond for life, and he was terrified of that, but with Y/N all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his living days with her.

When Harry had come back from being in L.A. for so long and finally being in the same city as his girlfriend back at their home, all they did was spend time together. Every time he saw Y/N all he wanted to do was say those 4 words that he hadn’t even fully come to terms with himself. It was dangerous, and Harry’s self control when it came to Y/N was lacking, so he simply did was every normal person would do in his situation.

He stood her up. 

Many more times than he could count, and of course he felt like the shittiest person in the world— shittiest boyfriend in the world—but at least now she can’t possibly be under the impression that he wanted to marry her, which is what he wanted. Or thought he wanted, until Sarah called him up one day after he had stood Y/N up for dinner the night before and told him off. Told Harry just how fucking terrible he made Y/N feel, how unwanted she thought she was, how she felt like they were loosing their relationship, and Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. (Of course Y/N had sobbed to Sarah about it over the phone while she was drunk off the wine she opened 40 minutes after Harry said he would be there, so she really didn’t even remember the conversation).

And later that day Harry had come home, heard her wavering voice asking if they could talk, and decided in his head he would tell her how he felt, how sorry he was, and how he wanted to be with her forever and love her forever if she allowed him. He had a few expectations for their dinner, that Y/N would probably tell him how he’s made her feel, and Harry would apologize, tell her why he did it, explain he thought it was no excuse, then tell her he plans on marrying her (obviously not proposing just yet, but finally bringing up the conversation they had never had even though they were in a serious committed relationship) and they’d go back home, have the most amazing sex ever, and forget about the whole thing. 

What Harry didn’t expect was to get a call from Jeff around 5 asking him to come to the studio to fix few vocals, then end up nailing down 2 songs in one night, go to a bar with the band to celebrate, get drunk, then pass out at Mitch and Sarahs flat. 

But that’s what happened, according to Mitch, who woke Harry up the very next morning. 

“Good morning man, wakey wakey,” Mitch’s teasing tone echoed through Harry’s (what felt like full of vodka) brain as he groaned and squinted his eyes. “Why are you waking me up at this hour in the morning?” Harry asked drearily, sighing and simultaneously regretting last night as a whole because the last thing he wanted to do while hungover was be up before at least 9 AM.

“We’ve gotta go to meet with Jeff about tour in like a hour, H” Mitch stated .

At Mitch’s words Harry sat up on their couch, eyes wide in fear. “Wait mate, I thought tha’ meeting was on Wednesday.”

“It is Wednesday H, god how drunk did we let you get last night…” Mitch said, beginning to recount some of Harry’s antics the night before. Harry however, couldn’t hear a thing with the blood pumping through his ears. If today was Wednesday, that meant yesterday was Tuesday, and he went and got trashed at a bar with his friends Tuesday night when— when he was supposed to be on a date with Y/N, when he was supposed to confess his intentions, when he was supposed to apologize for standing her up over and over, yet instead he went and did it again.

Now this, this was a mistake.

“…H. H. Harry? Are you there?” Mitch’s voice came back into focus and Harry shook his head. “I- fuck, I was supposed to take Y/N out last night.” Harry said, his voice trembling.

‘I’m sure she’ll forgive you, it’s just one night.” Mitch tried to make Harry feel better. He knew Y/N was a very forgiving person, she would get over this in no time.

“No, she won’t. I-I’ve stood her up for the past month and a half, Mitch.”

At these words, Mitch stands straight up  making pained eye contact with Sarah in the kitchen who was overhearing most of this conversation with her eyes wide. She had no idea it was this bad. “Month and a half? I thought it was just that one time a few weeks ago, Harry what the hell is wrong with you?” Harry simply shook his head and didn’t reply. He had absolutely no idea how to make it up to her. “I-fuck, I don’t know Mitch!” Harry raised his voice. “I need to see her and apologize, now.” Harry said, standing up and rushing over to the front door and slipping on his shoes. 

“This meeting is mandatory Harry, as much as I want you to see her too, she’d probably still asleep, and I don’t think this can be solved in under an hour.” Mitch said calmly, already knowing Harry was close to walking out his door. Harry stayed silent for a moment, weighing the options. Either go apologize to his girlfriend, or prioritize himself over her again. 

“We can do it another day, I’m sorry, but I have to go see her, tell Jeff I feel sick.” And he walked out without another word.

。:°ஐ

The morning after Harry stood Y/N up again was brutal. 

She stayed up all night, replaying moments with Harry in her head, analyzing if he wanted to be there with her, wondering if maybe he felt like he had to stay with her out of pity. It was torture, and the pain seemed to turn into numbness as time went by, and eventually the sun came up, and she stayed in bed, her motivation lost.

A loud crash and “Fuck!” woke her up, swollen eyes fluttering open to the invasive noise. Y/N furrowed her brows, her mind connecting everything that happened yesterday and unfortunately reminding her of the unbearable pain she went through the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she sat up and flung her legs out of her bed sheets that had been flung off the bed in the middle of the night.  She began grumbling to herself as she made her way downstairs, ready to tell Harry off for making so much noise.

Her mouth stopped moving, and instead remained in limbo as her eyes met Harry’s. His mouth opened to speak, but his words were caught in his throat as he saw the state she was in. It was when her mouth pressed into a line that he could begin talking. “Y/N, baby, please I know you don’t wanna see me or talk t’me right now but I’m so fuckin’ sorry, love. So so sorry, it was an accident, I went t’ the studio to fix a few things then got hung up on the songs and by the time we went to celebrate I completely lost track of time, and I was too drunk to drive home so I crashed at Mitch’s.”

Her mouth fell open at his words. Everything was happening too fast. Hearing that he stood her up to drink at a fucking bar to celebrate himself, then coming home and accidentally knocking over a glass in their kitchen (which she put together was the crash earlier after seeing the shards of broken glass on the floor) frustrated her to no end. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him any longer, and Harry had stopped talking after realizing what he just admitted to her. Without another glance, instead of looking at Y/N’s tear stained face, all he saw was her back, walking up the stairs to their room. 

“Fuck,” He said to himself before following her up the pink stairs. “Y/N, love wait-please, I’m so sorry, I just need to talk to you, I need to explain myself, please.” He begged as she shut their bedroom door in his face, his voice turning into a desperate whine at the end. 

。:°ஐ

It’s been 3 days since then, and she hasn’t spoken to him. He would leave in the mornings, kissing her forehead and mumbling an “I love you” and telling her exactly what time he’d be home, before leaving and coming back on time to find an empty plate in the sink and her lying in their bed, whether it be reading, scrolling on her phone, or typing on her laptop. He would apologize many times, reaching his hand out for hers and she would simply situate herself in their bed and lay down, back turned to him. 

Harry just couldn’t take it anymore. 

It was when she had finally let him kiss her forehead goodnight that he decided to take his chance. “Y/N.” He spoke softly, with no response or anything to indicate she heard him. “Baby, can we please talk- or I’ll talk and you listen, I just- I really need to say some things.” 

She was still faced away from him when he leaned against their headboard and he decided to keep going. 

“I- um. I’m sure you know how sorry I am, but I really am- sorry I mean. Not just for tonight but for every other time I’ve stood you up. I’m so sorry for not showing you how much you matter to me, and how much the things you do matter to me.”

It was then that she slowly sat up next to him and looked at him, eyes begging him to continue. He blushed at her intense eye-contact that he had barely gotten over the past few days and took a breath, opting to look at his hands fidgeting in his lap.

“We’ve been together for 2 and almost a half years, which is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and it’s no excuse to treat you this way, but I had just been thinking about how things progress even further than now,” He coughs. “Which is marriage, and when I finally came home, all I wanted to do was ask you to marry me- I don’t- m’not proposing right now, I just- I got really scared because wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone is crazy to me,

I’ve never thought that way about anyone else until you, I didn’t even really want to get married before you, and I started to distance myself before I ended up telling you this, but obviously that blew up in my face.” He chuckled a bit, locking eyes with her unreadable ones for a moment and lifting a hand to run through his hair. “What I’m trying to say, is that I love you, so so much, and I plan on marrying you�� obviously if you want to too, of course— and I’m so sorry for trying to make you think that I didn’t care about you anymore or love you any less, because it’s the complete opposite of that.”

His eyes were watery now, as he started down at his interlocked fingers, and his eyes widened when her hand was gently placed over his own. “Harry,” Y/N began. “Look at me, please.” 

His head lifted to see her facing him, her brows knitted and a small smile on her face. “I forgive you, okay? I could tell you were kind of scared of commitment when we first started dating, and I wish I could say your reason for standing me up is surprising but it’s not.” They both chuckled a bit at this. “I- I’m still upset at you, I need you to know that, because 2 months of thinking the love of your life is avoiding you doesn’t feel all too great, so you suck for that,” she said, planting a quick kiss to his cheek which quickly turned pink. “But Harry, even if you asked me to marry you a year ago I would have said yes. I love you, so much, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you as well. I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, it was… unnecessary and immature. So, thank you for apologizing. I love you.” She confessed again.

“S’okay, I deserved it, and I love you too. Maybe even more. So um, we’re okay?” Harry asked, a hopeful smile on his face. 

She nodded with a smile and pulled him into a much needed hug and pulled away only for him to bring her into an even more needed kiss. “If you ever try to pull that shit again, I’m breaking up with you.” She laughed and he tackled her into the sheets hiding his face in her neck.

“Duly noted, love. Duly noted.”

[rynnaaurelius]

Titan’s Curse But Make It Time Loop: Nico di Angelo Edition

-Okay so I’m at work and not doing much and who wants to actually edit your shit drafts for your actual WIPs so that they’re less bad? No one, that’s who

-So I had an idea: The Titan’s Curse. Also known as the book where people start to die. It sucks to be a demigod in this book--for the first time in the original series, it really does.

-Not everything is fixed, not everyone is saved, and people start to have to make really tough decisions.

-So we fix it. Not by throwing Percy, or Annabeth, or Thalia, or, hell, even Bianca or Grover into the mix.

-Throwing the marginally more grown-up, more trained, and more knowledgeable demigods into the fire, who’d get everyone alive and safe by the third time ‘round? Nah.

-We’re making Nico fix this.

-Because here’s the thing about Nico di Angelo: Sure, he grows up to become a major badass, the Ghost King, so on and so forth. But not yet.

-For now, Nico is baby, a ten-year-old whose experience with any kind of fighting consists of one (1) Capture The Flag game and who’s still half-reliant on Mythomagic to explain what the fuck is happening.

-He’s also got the worst knowledge makeup possible! He knows he’s a son of Hades, which is bad, he knows to stick monsters with the pointy end of swords but nothing else, he knows that Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace are Very Big Deals (But also doesn’t know why beyond parents), and he’s, at best, vaguely aware that there’s some kind of bad prophecy hanging around.

-Also by the end of the book, he’s just been told his last immediate family who isn’t Hades is dead in one of the worst ways possible, and he--pretty irrationally IMO, but Nico’s a kid who has been through a lot recently, so we’re not holding that against him--blames Percy Jackson.

-Literally, you probably can’t pick an angstier or worse choice to run through the time travel trope. I love it.

-We’re making this kid save Bianca’s life via time loop, which happens due to. . .hmm, we’ll say the Fates did it.

-So, Loop 0 = Canon, only at the end of the day on December 21st, after the conversation with Percy, Nico falls asleep only gods know where only to wake up the day he meets Percy Jackson:

Loop 1:

-Nico doesn’t actually change anything meaningful at first.

-Spends most of it shellshocked and not unconvinced the last week (For him, anyway) wasn’t a horrible nightmare; shellshocked and staring at Percy Jackson, anyway.

-(Percy’s wondering what’s up with the silent kid his sister had talked up as a cheerful chatterbox)

-It’s only when Bianca agrees to join the quest for Artemis that he starts kicking up a fuss; demanding to go, screaming that she can’t leave him even more, not again.

-(Bianca hesitates; briefly, enough to remind Nico that she loves him. But she’s not their mother, and she needs this)

-Bianca still dies. Percy comes back pale and guilty. Nico doesn’t yell at him when he returns--he already knows. He accepts the Hades figurine so that he can throw it into the lake.

-He slinks off back into Cabin Eleven and falls asleep, hoping desperately that he gets a third chance.

Loop 2:

-He does.

Loop 3:

-After a very painful death at the hands of Dr. Thorn, Nico, generally being a straightforward person at this stage of life, takes the obvious path this time around: He tries to tell Bianca--who brushes it off as a dream.

-Annabeth still goes over the cliff when Nico takes the initiative of attaching himself and his sister to Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace at the dance. He tries to tell Percy and Thalia when Bianca still joins the Hunt, promising Nico that whatever he saw, she’ll be extra careful.

-(Bianca’s fearful of what Nico's saying, and thinks that if these sworn sisters can’t keep her safe, who can?)

-Artemis gives Nico a speculative look but agrees when he begs her to protect Bianca at all costs.

-He doesn’t get on the quest. Being a reasonable demigod of questionable parentage, he sneaks out of camp.

-He gets caught, because despite being aware of his awesome new powers, he doesn’t know how to use them, and is still a ten-year-old who can barely hold a sword the right way.

-He gives Percy the puppy dog eyes and shows off said awesome new powers. Percy forces him back.

-Nico follows him.

-Repeat until Percy dies saving Nico from the Nemean Lion in Washington, DC.

-Nico can’t find it in himself to be terribly sad--especially when he doesn’t make it much longer.

Loop 4:

-He’s really stuck like this, huh?

-Oh, Di Immortales.

-(Before Percy gets his chest ripped to shreds by a lion and Nico meets skeleton cats, he learned how to hold a sword properly and curse fluently in Greek. Percy probably only meant to teach him one of those things)

-In unrelated news: Having a big crush on a guy who thinks he’s only known you for a couple hours? Terrible.

-Trying to hate the guy who let your sister die when he’s that stupid and nice? Even worse.

-That stupid lion.

Loop 5, 6, 7, 8, 9:

-Nico repeats: That stupid lion.

-Somewhere in Loop 7 he starts to steal supplies out of the camp store when he follows Percy following the quest.

-They forcefeed the lion enough trail mix and frozen ice cream in Loop 9 that they don’t die this time.

-At least until someone called the General shows up and Nico’s dead before he can raise his sword.

Loop 10:

-Nico wakes up in his and Bianca’s room in Westover and starts crying. Bianca tells the headmaster they’re both sick and Nico lets her hold him all day.

-They fall asleep and Nico swears he won’t let her die again.

Loop 11, 12, 13:

-He wakes up and he still can’t get out of bed without feeling that blade cutting between his ribs, burning like it’s on fire.

-Gods, he’s so sorry, Bianca. Dispiace tanto.

Loop 14:

-He can get up without feeling like he’s about to die again. Bianca fusses but assumes it was just a bad dream.

-Nico is caught stealing and can’t follow Percy until it’s too late.

-Everyone assumes this means he’s a son of Hermes, however, and Nico can’t correct them without opening his mouth and letting the sobbing laughter out.

-Figuring he’s about to get another chance next round anyway, he takes Travis and Connor Stoll up on their offer to learn a thing or two so that he doesn’t get Cabin Eleven slapped with kitchen duty from now until Doomsday.

-He likes the Stolls. He spent most of the time, pre-looping, actively avoiding everyone at camp as he waited for Bianca and Percy to come back, but they’re not that bad.

-Percy comes back with the figurine and no sister and Nico remembers why he’s stuck.

Loop 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23:

-After Loop 12 and being killed in Washington DC again, Nico realizes: He needs to learn how to fight.

-Unless he gets killed early or refuses to leave Westover, the loop resets after seven days. So, he has seven days to train each time.

-He gets to camp, finds the arena, and meets Clarisse La Rue. He demands she teach him how to kill monsters.

-She laughs, and tells him that attitude in his size will make monsters easy to kill, they’ll laugh so hard.

-Clarisse teaches him how to swing a sword each time--but only after mocking his unamused face.

-Somehow, Percy coming back with news of Bianca’s death only hurts more each time.

Loop 24:

-Nico wakes up before Bianca this time. He looks over at her bed and knows. He’s got to try this time.

-It’s disturbingly easy making friends with Percy Jackson after the last loops.

-Bessie’s new. Cute, but new.

-Nico wonders just how much he’s missed in the past--he thinks of Annabeth Chase, and hopes she hasn’t been dying each time.

-Percy doesn’t even argue when Nico shows up in the stables with a bag slung over his shoulder, and the sword he’s been stealing out of the shed strapped to his hip.

-Nico suggests the ice cream--again--to Percy in DC before

-Nico might be getting the hang of this.

Loop 25:

-Nico is not getting the hang of this.

-Zoë Nightshade’s refusal to accept Percy and Nico on the quest--violating a prophecy, and gods, Nico’s curious if that prophecy ever mentioned this--has so far gotten them attacked and killed by spartoi once.

-And again. As Nico bleeds out on the floor, he watches a panicked blond man--a demigod--plead for mercy.

-Isn’t he on the other side?

Loop 26:

-His name is Luke Castellan and he apparently wants the gods dead.

-Nico can relate at this point.

-The General is Atlas, and Nico knows enough about Greek mythology, real and wrong, at this point to know that is bad.

Loop 27:

-Twenty-six tries, but they finally make it out of DC. Threatening the questers with Atlas killing them all is more than enough.

-For the first time, Nico doesn’t know what happens next. He glues himself to Bianca’s side and glares at anything suspicious.

-With help that Percy refuses to name, even when Nico tries his hardest, they go to New Mexico.

-There’s a boar and it’s so close, they make it to what the others are calling “the junkyard of the gods”.

-Nico sees the Hades figurine on the ground.

-Bianca grins in delight and picks it up, calling for him.

-He can’t help it.

-Nico starts screaming.

Loop 28:

-His sister’s murderer was never Percy Jackson.

-His sister’s murderer was a force of mechanics that makes Nico fully understand, for the first time, what the gods are, beyond stats on a card.

-Talos.

-Nico is going to destroy him.

Loop 29:

-She dies.

Loop 30:

-Again.

Loop 31:

-Again.

-Loop 32, 33, 34, 3536373839FortyFo r t y O n  e--:

-Again. Again. Again. Again again againagainagainagainAGAIN--

Loop 42:

-Nico gets out of bed. He finds Percy Jackson at the dance, hugs him, and tells him he’s sorry.

-Nico walks outside and waits for Dr. Thorn in the snow. He can feel the shadows curling at the edge of the wood like a sixth sense, now. Waiting for him to summon the restless dead out of them.

-So many attempts to save his sister, ranging from sacrificing himself to sacrificing Percy--not that Percy needs the push, Nico has found--to any and all members of the quest.

-She dies. Always, always dies. Whatever Nico does, that junkyard is full of the death of Bianca di Angelo.

-He tried avoiding it. Once. Loop 33. Nico threw such a fit he’s surprised he wasn’t sent back to Camp Half-Blood by the Hunters, but it kept them out of the junkyard.

-He tries not to remember how little was left of his sister’s body by the monsters that time.

-Son of Hades. After all this time, Nico’s beginning to wonder if this is what it means. Death and death and death.

-Dr. Thorn walks outside, and Nico can feel a ghoulish grin crossing his face that has no place on a ten-year-old.

-One of them is going to die, this loop. And Nico will not go to New Mexico.

Loop 43:

-Nico wonders if there was a past life of his he needs to remember. Who could he have made this angry?

-He lies to Bianca and they stay in Westover again this time. Better than death, anyway.

Loop 44:

-Nico tries a different tack this time. A more roundabout way of things.

-He takes Bianca and throws the two of them in the way of the battle with the manticore.

-After all this time, he still doesn’t know much about Annabeth Chase. She gets kidnapped and returned safely to Percy every time, to the best of his knowledge.

-Nico dies holding up the sky, but at least Bianca lives, under the protection of Artemis.

Loop 45:

-Nico looks in the mirror and studies the new grey streak with fascination. And, maybe, some hope.

-Things can change.

Loop 46, 47, 48, 49, 50:

-Nico gets kidnapped a few times. Once, he’s killed in a rage by a Titan with horns, but it’s quick. Mostly, he holds up the sky to get Artemis out.

-She looks at him strangely each time and Nico wonders if she can see what he’s done.

Loop 51:

-They figure out he’s a son of Hades. They offer him Olympus. Olympus and Bessie--the Ophiotaurus, rather.

-Nico says no.

Loop 52:

-Nico says yes.

Loop 53:

-Being on the verge of overthrowing the gods and keeping everyone he’s grown to care for--in the case of several Hunters, against his will; in Percy Jackson’s case, Nico loves him as much as he hates him at this point--doesn’t do much, apparently.

-Nico stays in Westover again. He resists the urge to tell Bianca that would-be destroyers of Olympus don’t need to brush their hair, whatever she says.

Loop 54:

-Nico goes over the edge of the cliff again, but with Percy Jackson.

-This isn’t the first time; in Loop 46, Percy had taken the sky for both the sake of Artemis and Nico until it killed him.

-What’s different, is Nico’s in the middle of what’s become the usual panic attack when he’s about to die for the hundredth time, and his powers react.

-Percy holds him close and calls him cousin. Tells him he’ll never leave Nico.

-You have no idea, Nico whispers. You can’t leave me.

-You think I want to? Percy whispers back. You’re not alone, Nico.

-Nico’s sobbing sounds like laughter.

Loop 55:

-Nico tells Percy the truth for the third time. This is the first time he hasn’t told Bianca first.

-They’ve just found the Erymanthian Boar, Thalia’s told Nico his goth needs work--whatever that means--and Nico’s bracing himself for the junkyard again.

-Getting kidnapped by the Titans really gets old after a while.

-He still has the grey streak, and no number of excuses will fully soothe his sister, but the Hunt’s a good distraction from it.

-Nico doesn’t blame Bianca anymore for it. He thinks.

-Nearly a year into this loop and Nico’s finding it hard to blame anyone for much of anything, anymore. Especially when he sees what she’s faced. Again. And again.

-For now, this time, Percy Jackson is staring at Nico with wide eyes at what Nico’s told him--through these loops, Nico’s starting to wonder if he now knows more about Percy than Percy’s own best friends--and says he believes him.

-Once, Nico would’ve exploded from joy. Now, he just sighs and nods.

-Percy tells him how to condense the conversation for the next loop. He advises Nico to research Talos, “like Annabeth would.”

-He advises Nico to warn Percy’s next loop self about Annabeth’s kidnapping. Nico wonders if he’s gone insane that he’s considering it.

-Bianca dies.

Loop 56:

-Nico makes the executive decision this time to try and befriend Annabeth Chase. As such, he takes Percy’s advice.

Loop 57:

-It takes him two tries to befriend Annabeth Chase and learn about Talos.

Loop 58:

-Three times.

-But the nail. The nail in the ankle of Talos.

Loop 59:

-He hangs back at camp again this time and meets Charles Beckendorf, head of Cabin Nine, and son of Hephaestus.

-Nico figures that short of finding the god himself and committing temporary suicide--not that it hasn’t crossed Nico’s mind--his son will have to do.

-(He’s tried his hand at summoning ghosts, but Daedalus refuses to show, for some reason)

-Beckendorf frowns and tells Nico he would have to see Talos himself.

-Nico hadn’t realized just how much cursing he had picked up off of Percy and Thalia until that moment.

Loop 60:

-Nico knows what the prophecy says. One shall be lost in the land without rain.

-He knows it’s why he’s been failing so much.

-The trouble is, he no longer cares.

Loop 61:

-It took him a try, but he gets Beckendorf on the quest, prepared to defeat the Talos prototype.

Loop 62:

-Strike that, two tries.

-Nico really hates the Nemean Lion.

Loop 63, 64:

-Nico has solved half a problem: How to defeat Talos without putting someone inside the robot.

-The other half of the problem is now that they are all electrocuted by a dying automaton for their efforts.

Loop 65:

-Beckendorf’s crush--girlfriend? crush, they’re both insisting--Silena Beauregard comes along this time. Nico won’t complain over the extra manpower, even if he’s positive that eight campers and Hunters are patent overkill for one quest.

-Silena pulls Bianca out of the wreckage. Nico’s heart stops.

-Silena’s crying when she mentions that if they had been a bit earlier, she could have been revived.

-Nico wonders if Thalia’s going to stab him as he starts whooping. And takes notes about where Talos falls.

Loop 66:

-Nico swears, if Percy Jackson tries to sacrifice himself for Annabeth Chase one more time--

Loop 67:

-Bianca.

-I found you, he sobs. I found you.

-Gods damn the Hoover Dam.

Loop 68:

-And again.

-Despite having the distinct inkling at this point that he doesn’t much like like girls, Nico could kiss Silena Beauregard and Thalia Grace when they manage to revive his sister each time.

-She’s shaky and leaning on him and was dead, he could see her soul floating away--

-But she’s there.

-Nico refuses to let his sister out of the sight at the Hoover Dam and Percy befriends the Naiads this time.

-At least, until the Titans--who Nico made the very big mistake of taunting at DC--sends monsters he can’t control.

Loop 69, 70, 71, 72, 73:

-They keep dying in various combinations at the Hoover Dam now that Nico’s figured out how to save Bianca.

-At least, until he gets separated from Percy in Loop 73 and he meets a redheaded girl with a penchant for calling Nico pint-size.

-Athena dislikes Percy, Nico, Bianca, and Thalia in equal measure. Having learned of the Great Prophecy in Loop 16 and Percy’s mooning over Annabeth in. . .well, every loop, Nico can’t quite blame her.

Loop 74:

-Her name is Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Nico likes her. She takes none of their shit and if it weren’t for the fact that they already have eight people on the quest, he’d want to take her along.

-Bianca gets in a fight with the Old Man of the Sea. Thalia electrocutes him when he throws Bianca in the bay.

Loop 75:

-Nico wakes up in Westover with the distinct feeling that he was drowned on dry land.

-He stays in bed shivering, that day.

Loop 76:

-Atlas is the father of Zoë Nightshade. Nico learned this around Loop 50. He had realized around five loops ago that this probably meant she was going to die “by a parent’s hand.”

-He hadn’t realized that it was going to hurt to watch.

Loop 77, 78, 79, 80, 81:

-Now that he’s figured things out to about San Francisco, it seems the world is out to get him. The number of fights or mistakes that he either makes himself or has to head off are ridiculous.

Loop 82:

-Nico is so very tired. And wishes he felt ten years old again.

Loop 83:

-If Thalia gets in one more fight with Nereus, Nico's going to walk into the sea.

Loop 84:

-He wanders off, in this one. Grover had been killed in Hoover Dam, so Nico’s waiting for the reset at this point.

-In the meantime, Nico figures there are worse things to do than enjoy a good afternoon in San Francisco. He even meets a boy in a purple shirt.

-His name is Jason and he has hair like the sun.

-If he ever fixes this, Nico wants to find him.

Loop 85:

-Nico’s not fast enough in the junkyard.

-In San Francisco, he tries to find the ugliest, biggest trouble he can find.

-He finds a pair of teenagers in armor who yell Latin at him instead.

Loop 86:

-There’s a dragon that will attack them in the Garden of the Hesperides if they make it angry enough and Nico is so tired.

Loop 87:

- Zoë Nightshade is dead. They’ve won.

-Funny definition of “win”, considering they’ve all almost died this loop about a dozen times each, and Nico can’t explain why he’s crying on the body of a Hunter he only met a week ago, in their eyes.

-She hates him, some loops. More loops, she looks at him with ghosts of old grief in her eyes and hands him a knife.

-The gods execute Bessie, and then, Nico watches as his father turns to him and Bianca with sorrowful eyes.

-Nico should’ve figured, after almost ninety loops.

Loop 88:

-Luke offers one of them the entrails of Bessie again.

-Nico takes them.

Loop 89:

-For all the good it does. Nico wakes up as he does every time now: Powerless, in bed, and with only a grey streak to show for his efforts.

Loop 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98:

-Nico doesn’t know how to save Zoë Nightshade. Bianca, he could trick and fight his way into it. Beckendorf and Silena and Percy and a loophole in lost could save his sister.

-Her, she just. . .dies. Sometimes in DC, sometimes in San Francisco, sometimes on the hills of Mt. Tamalpais. Always at the hands of Atlas.

-Always, being murdered by her father.

-It’s not as gutting as watching his sister die, but it aches more in his chest, somehow.

Loop 99:

-He sticks close to Zoë this time. Same as he’s done with Percy, Annabeth, his sister, Thalia, and Grover, time and time again. But not her, Nico is realizing. Not the clinging he’s achieving now.

-Hoping for. . .something.

-He knows better than to tell the immortal Lieutenant of Artemis the whole truth. The loneliness is enough.

-She’s less frosty to him from the start than to, say, Grover or Percy, after Annabeth goes over the cliff again. When he shows up in DC, she’s much less angry than he’s seen her.

-Along the way to New Mexico and then San Francisco, he listens. He’s grown better at it, this far in. When the others are asleep, when Bianca is being fussed over after Talos, when everyone but them is asleep by the fire, he listens.

-And she tells him about her sisters. About her father, when the world was young and Atlas had looked on every daughter of his with pride. She tells him, pride glistening in her eyes, of the battles she has seen, the hunts she has overseen at the command of a goddess, the monsters she has killed, and the epithets she has been given.

-He doesn’t ask anything of her. Not until they’re in the house of Annabeth’s father, drinking lemonade the night before the battle, and Nico knows she is about to die again.

-What do you want, he asks. You’ve done everything. What’s left?

-She stopped, ice seems to creep over her again, and Nico wondered if he’d hit some sore spot.

-He’s opened his mouth to make his apologies when she answers, so quiet and quick he thinks he’s imagined it.

-To be remembered. When my lady has taken another lieutenant, as she must, and I have gone to where all gods go when they die, I wish for my memory to remain. And. . .

-Nico waits, and ignores the sudden, terrifying thought that he no longer knows what he wants.

-I wish to see the stars again. I was born a nymph of the sunset; starlight is precious to me. I want to see it again.

-Nico dies to preserve the memory of Zoë Nightshade.

100:

-Nico di Angelo wakes up in Westover Hall. He hopes for the last time.

-He does everything right: Annabeth goes over the cliff, his sister joins the Hunt, Percy is soon his friend, and he convinces Silena and Beckendorf to join the quest.

-The Nemean Lion never stands a chance, and Nico is glad to be rid of it.

-His sister lives.

-Nico watches Percy watch Rachel Elizabeth Dare go, looking like he’s just taken a frying pan to the face, and fights the urge to snicker.

-Thalia doesn’t start a fight with Nereus, but Percy certainly does. Nico could’ve sworn he saw the boy with sun-hair again, watching with curiosity.

- Zoë Nightshade dies in the arms of Artemis and is made into the stars she loves so dearly. Nico promises her soul that he will remember.

-For, he has found, the dead have a tendency of remembering things they shouldn’t.

-Annabeth and Percy now have grey streaks to match Nico’s, and Nico can’t wait to spend the rest of his life trying to explain that.

-It’s closer than he would like, but much less close than other lives with Olympus. The Ophiotaurus is alive and safe, and they are all alive.

-As Nico walks out of the council, he looks off to the side. By the fire is the familiar girl with red eyes--the Lady Hestia, looking much closer to Nico’s age than that of the Olympian she is.

-Besides her are three old ladies. Nico’s heard about them from Percy, in Loops 26, 53, 61, and 62.

-One lady holds a ball of string that is the color of a warm umber. The other is knitting what looked suspicious like socks. The last. . .

-Scissors, in one hand. Just as expected. Nico swallowed.

-In the other, was a knot of burnt string, tied to the socks. Behind her, Nico could see discarded string of all colors: an electric blue, a stormy grey, a black that seems to glisten with the promise of a storm, string the soft, hopeful pink of love, yarn run through with bright copper.

-Glowing threads that Nico could only describe as the color of starlight.

-As he walked out, firmly between Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace, the Hunt of Artemis behind him, Nico hears one last promise:

It is done, Nico di Angelo.

[another-fantasy-world]

hi could you please make another alice cullen x fem!reader?? i really really love your last one you made, it was so beautiful <3

||AN|| Thank youuu! I'm happy you enjoyed my last one, also, thank you for requesting!

 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆      ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Pairing: Alice Cullen x Fem! Reader

Summary: Alice with a human girlfriend who’s more vampire-like than her.

Warnings: None? Fluff. Happy Couple.

Word Count: 2,084 words

GIF isn’t mine

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆      ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

You were always the night owl, lived off coffee and good books and you only wear dark colors. Your routine includes waking up at 10 pm, Cooking and eating your dinner at approximately 11:30 pm, Studying until 6 am, Taking a shower, Make your coffee, and be at school at 7:00 am where you meet up with you too-bright-and-jolly girlfriend, Alice Cullen. After school you then either head home to your own house, or to the Cullens household, either way you crash into anything soft and just ultimately pass out, and your cycle repeats. Sometimes your girlfriend would join you in studying even if she didn’t need it, Sometimes you’d do other things with your girlfriend, some of the things you do aren’t appropriate for a house full of vampires with super hearing, and not to mention her nosy brother who had the ability to read minds. 

“Get out of the way before I pummel you to the ground asshole.” You grumbled to the guy who’s blocking your way and was staring at your girlfriend like she’s a piece of meat. You hated that but you couldn’t do anything. One, pretty sure it’s illegal to kill someone even if you’re thinking about all the ways you could and Two, you miss you girlfriend’s cold hand holding yours.

You see him shiver before grabbing his things and scrambling away, his goons hot on his tail. 

“You have the most creative mind I have ever come across. Really? Using his blood as paint after you use gamma rays to blow up his uhm. Yeah. Where would you even get gamma rays?” Edward scrunches his face as they all approach you.

“Pretty sure Carlisle would hook me up with some.” You smirked then kissed your girlfriend’s forehead, You held her hand in yours as she giggled, getting out of her trance like state.

“Carlisle denied.” She kissed your cheek before dragging you inside the school, where they all separated like the goddamn sea in that one bible story.

Safe to say, you were pretty feared in the whole town. Socially isolated, always has a cup of coffee in hand, dark marks under your eyes, a blank looks often settles on your face,always had earphones in, glared at people who made your family uncomfortable, scared people without trying and a student could’ve sworn he saw you drink someones blood which he says was inside your coffee cup. It was beetroot juice since you ran out of coffee but needed something hot to drink, so you made beetroot juice, with lots and lots of sugar. You were dubbed as a vampire or a witch, which was hilarious considering your girlfriend is a vampire. A bright, happy, sparkling vampire who doesn’t sleep in coffins whatsoever. 

“Have a good day baby, see you at lunch.” Alice kissed your cheek before bouncing in her classroom followed by Emmett who winked at you and Rosalie who raised her brows at you and told you to behave.

“I always behave!” You argued with a small pout on your lips, barely noticeable but Rosalie just smirks before walking gracefully into the room, sitting in between Emmett and Alice who just shooed you away. 

“It’s never a good day.” you whispered while walking away, fully knowing that they could hear you.

Lunch came so slow that by the time you sat at your usual spot, you already had thoughts on murdering your history teacher who ‘unintentionally’ spat at your face and drizzled her spit on your face like a waterfall.

“It’s only been half a day Y/LN, You’ll get through it.” Rosalie slides her tray of food over to you while petting your head.

“i don’t understand why you choose to go through this over and over again.” You groaned, laying your head on Alice’s shoulder. They just laughed and proceeded to talk about things that you don’t even bother to listen to.

“You’re coming over today right?” Alice asked you with that bell like voice that you so loved

“Hmm? Oh yeah, Cuddles?” You whispered to her, internally groaning at how soft you’ve become for your girlfriend. 

“Yes please. You’re warm.”

“And you are freezing cold.” You retorted, stealing some of her fries

“It comes with the package. Now come on, I’ll walk you to your room.” She pats you head while moving away, packing her things. Which low-key made you whine.

“But I always escort you to your room.” You complained

“That’s true, but I figured you wouldn’t be opposed to change.” She smiled, offering her hand which you took.

“Edward?” 

“Nope. Not telling you. I am not going on another shopping spree with that little devil of yours.” He sped walked away, dragging Bella with him

“I think you traumatized him real bad, Ali.” You chuckled

“Good.” She exclaimed

12 midnight, and you just woke up to Alice holding you while reading a book, She smiles at you before tapping her lips, asking for a kiss. You shook your head no, trying to get out of her arms to brush your teeth.

“Nope, kisses first before brushing.” She grips you tighter

“Eww. Morning breath. Alice please!” She just grins before showering your face with kisses.

“There. You can go now, Esme just finished your dinner.” She beamed at you, pushing you into the large bathroom that she has before sitting on the sink.

“Uhm...” You stare at her, confused

“What?” 

The both of you took an hour long shower, you didn’t even need to shower, Alice just persuaded you into doing so. Earning you different looks from different vampires the moment you walked down the stairs.

A suggestive smirk from Rosalie and a laughing Emmett A smirking Jasper A confused Bella with a disgusted looking Edward A smiling Esme holding a bowl of food  And lastly, A laughing Carlisle.

“Oh my God.” You groaned, walking to the dining room, thanking Esme for the food. 

“Really Y/N?” complained Edward who’s cuddling a still confused Bella

“What? Just because you decide to wait until marriage does not mean I have to.” You smirked, winking at Edward who would be blushing if he was human.

“Don’t talk while your mouth is full.” Scolded Esme who’s also trying to keep her laugh in

“Yes Mom. Anyways, Bella I love you, but you look like you’re about to shut down and ready to be pawned like an old computer.” You told her, biting into a chicken leg

“i’ll take her home.” Edward says, grabbing his keys and waits for Bella.

“Why is she here anyways” Grumbled Rosalie, who everyone ignored while you just tapped her head

“Let’s play chess when you get back!” You shouted after him

You finish your food quickly and washed your plates, much to the distaste of Esme, leading your giggling short girlfriend to the couch beside Jasper.

“Jasper~ Wanna watch documentaries of wars and judge everything they did wrong?” You ask Jasper who’s nodding at your request. Alice plopping herself on your lap as she stares at you laughing and smiling with her family.

She’s really happy to have found you the way she did, She reminisced the time when the two of you first met. You were browsing racks and racks of clothes, taking black colored blouses, shirts and button-ups that are your size before walking into a dressing room. While you were in the room, she started to have a vision about the two of you together, having dates and you carrying her shopping bags in this same store, making her all giddy. She was with Rosalie at that time, who just stared at her with a look of slight confusion as she basically bounced to you. You at first was taken aback that someone was actually talking to you, and it was a cute girl at that. Alice greeted you with a smile and a hello before handing you a green blazer and tie, telling you emerald green compliments your eyes and outfit before paying for what you were buying, writing her name and number on the receipt, leaving you dumbfounded at the store

At first she thought that the both of you wouldn’t work out, especially because of all the chaos that recently happened to her family and leaving forks. But you made the effort of always texting her little notes and telling her how your day was, even if she didn’t reply, slowly she felt herself fall more in love with you, letting herself reply and indulge in the visions that she had that involved you. Once she told her family about you, they were a bit skeptical, especially since Carlisle tended to your knuckle wounds one too many times. But upon seeing the love sick look on both your eyes and the loud complaining of Edward at how sickeningly cute your thoughts were of each other, they eventually accepted you as one of their own despite being human. 

And now she stares in awe as you spent about 2 hours criticizing documentaries with Jasper before Edward comes home, and when he did, you played a couple rounds of chess (You always lost, which made Edward laugh every time.) before she decided that she’s bored with you losing to her brother every round and just decided to pick you up and dash to her room. 

“What was that for love?” You ask her when she settled herself in your arms

“I just. I was bored and I realized that it’s been too long since we cuddled.”

“It’s literally been 4 hours since I woke up bumblebee.” You ran your hand through her hair

“I missed you. 4 hours is too long.”

“Awe. I missed you too. Want to pick up where we left off on How to Kill a Mockingbird?” You ask her

“Yes please, I love hearing your voice.” She puts her face on the crook of your neck as you read to her, one of your hand intertwined with hers.

Even though she can’t fall asleep anymore, she loves the way your voice sounds, it calms her down and she could easily compare the “peace” she feels right now to the “peace” she could remember feeling when she was asleep. She really did love you and she doesn’t hesitate to let you know. In multiple various ways. 

Like now, she cut off your reading when her soft lips touched yours. You immediately let go of the book to hold her face lovingly as you put all your feelings into the kiss like you always do. You always felt like your words are never enough, so you always try to express your feeling through physical affection.

As if remembering you need your air, she slowly pulls away, her forehead touching yours as you catch your breath.

“I love you” she whispers, kissing your nose

“I love you too.” You smiled, pecking her lips

Your moment was then ruined when Emmett started banging his fists on the door, loudly exclaiming that you all have to get ready for school. You growled lowly, rolling your eyes.

“Alright! Geez.” You grumpily picked up the book that was tossed to the floor before walking to Alice’s closet where you also keep some of your clothes in...

Only to see that they weren’t there.

“Uhm Alice? Darling? Where are my clothes?” You ask her

She walks to where you are, peeking in slightly before pecking your lips.

“Oops. Accidentally sent all them to your house. Guess you have to wear my clothes then.” She smirked at you, pulling out a lemon yellow trench coat, a rosy pink turtleneck and hot pink pants with a blue belt.

“Baby, Alice. Love. Darling. Bumblebee. Please don’t do this to me.” You pleaded but she just shook her head, handing you the clothes before threatening you with no kisses and cuddles for a week if you refuse.

Your shoulders sag with defeat as you change into the clothes Alice gave you, pouting while walking down the stairs of the Cullen Household. Alice smiles brightly as she hooked her arm around yours. Chuckles and giggles erupted the moment they saw you which made you grumble and murmur underneath your breath as you sip your cup of coffee made by Esme.

“You-” 

“Not a word.” You growled out, blushing furiously as you laughing girlfriend holds your hand while walking through the halls of Forks High school. 

Your girlfriend can be annoying at times, add that to her chaotic family, but you would never trade it for anything. Ever.

[zenyye]

[Do NOT read this if you aren’t ready to hear about suicide. I’m venting. do not put yourself in that position and care for your own well-being.]

first week and a half of sophomore year! (In order)

1.Got catcalled in a michaels parking lot - michaels. The art store.

2. Found out a friend might’ve tried to commit. Again.

3. Guy tried to take me home with him and his two friends and followed me around while I was trying to get in touch with my friend

4. Wake up and call the police on said friend to do a wellness check, spend 4 hours talking to them and RA’S, find out friend is no longer enrolled on campus

5. Get a call from the police saying they’ve spoken with friend’s parents and he’s at his girlfriends

6. Spend a day wondering why the fuck he hasn’t called or texted me when I actually blew his phone up the night before

7. Find out he is not in fact ok and did kill himself, the parents lied to the police cause they’re catholic and ashamed and don’t even want their family to know

8. Wake up at 7:30 on my birthday to drive an hour and a half to his funeral (held 4 days after he committed) in a Catholic Church with less than 20 people there staring at the casket while they avoid saying ANYTHING about him as a person and instead talk about god and redemption

9. Meet his twin sister at the funeral and find out I was the last person to call his phone and she saw my calls and she said she was so sorry for not picking up

10. Watched his mother open the casket and hug his limp body before they put him in the herse

11. Drive back and pretend to be ok the whole day because we aren’t sure if telling others is ok yet

12. Sit through his birthday (two days after mine) seeing no one post him despite only like 5 people knowing he’s gone

13. Field a call from my school 5 days after his funeral informing me “oops! He’s dead” and “we have a counseling center but can’t actually do anything to help you! Sorry about that”

14. (Current) wait for my therapist to get back from vacation so I can talk about literally anything and process that this is the 4th person who’s done it in the same way as the rest and I might’ve actually been kinda in love with him 😁

[0bsess3d]

lies | j.m. | part two

masterlist

JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader x Best Friend!OC

A/N: It took me so long to finally get to rewriting this. But, here it is, I guess. I’ll probably start on writing the third part tmrw.

Warnings: Cursing, Lying.

Word Count: 2.0k

Summary: Instead of rejecting your friend, you tell him you’re taken, which is a complete and total lie. Now that he’s asking to meet this so-called boyfriend of yours, you’re going to need someone to play the role of your imaginary love interest.

You woke up the following day, almost forgetting about the mess you got yourself into. Not only did you lie to your best friend, but you also had to pretend to date your brother’s best friend to back up said lie.

What in the hell have you gotten yourself into?

You reached over to turn over your blaring alarm from your nightstand, groaning. You laid there in bed for a second, giving yourself time to fully wake up before you reached over to check your phone.

You had a couple of notifications from apps that you barely even use anymore and a couple of unread messages. Some were from friends, just saying “hey” or “good morning.” But, there was one from JJ:

JJ: What time do your friends want us over there?

To which you replied:

(y/n) : Kassi said 7, so you should probably come over here at around 6:30.

JJ just replied a simple “okay” You just laid your phone back down on your nightstand, standing up to get ready for the day.

--

Soon enough, you were in your kitchen, fixing yourself the third bowl of cereal this week. John B soon emerged from the doorway, his hair clearly not brushed this morning. “Morning.” He murmured to you, his voice raspy as he had probably just woken up.”

“Good morning.” You mumbled back, pouring the milk into your bowl of fruit loops. Then, you watched as your brother poured himself a glass of orange juice, putting the milk back into the refrigerator.

“So,” John B started, “when are you and JJ going over to your friend’s house?” He asked, watching as you took the first bite of your cereal.

You allowed yourself time to chew and swallow your food before answering him, “He’s coming to pick me up at 6:30.” You simply told him, taking another bite of cereal.

John B nodded, finishing off his glass of orange juice and placing it in the sink. He moved over to lean against the counter beside you as you ate. “So, how long do you think this whole charade is going to last?” he asked you, crossing his arms over his chest.

You shrugged, having not really thought about the answer to that question. “I don’t know. I guess just however long it takes for Julian to stop liking me.” You chuckled a little at the end of the last sentence.

“But what if he doesn’t?” he questioned.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about all that.” You shrugged again.

“Well, you’ve got to. You can’t just keep lying to your friends forever (y/n). One day, all of this is going to come back to bite you in the ass. And, when it does, I will be right here to tell you ‘I told you so’”

You just rolled your eyes at your brother, putting away your empty bowl and spoon. But, honestly, you knew he was right. You were well aware of the fact that you dug yourself a deep hole that you may struggle to get out of.

--

Before you know it, it was 6:28, and a knock sounded at your door. You had spent the entire day on your phone or watching tv, and to be honest, you weren’t ready at all for the events ahead. You opened the door, revealing JJ, his signature smirk spread out on his face. “Hey.” He greeted, walking past you into your house.

“Hey,” You greeted back, watching as he moved to sit on your couch. “I was just finishing up getting dressed. I’ll be ready in a sec.”

Just as you were about to turn around and go into your room, JJ stops you, “Oh, wait, here.” He threw a red hoodie, one that you have definitely seen him wear before, at you. You quickly caught it, looking down to see what it was before giving him a confused look. “You know how girls usually wear their boyfriends’ shirts? I thought it would be more convincing if you wore one of mine to the movie night thing.” He ended it with a simple shrug.

“Okay, yeah, that’s actually really smart.” You laughed before disappearing into your room.

--

Around a half-hour later, you were both on the doorstep of Kassi’s house. Kassi lived in between the cut and figure eight. She lived in a nice house with a nice family. She wasn’t as poor as the pogues, but she wasn’t as rich as the kooks either. She was in the middle. Finally, the door opened to reveal the pretty blonde girl that was your friend. “(y/n), hey!” She hugged you before looking over at JJ. “And you must be (y/n)’s boyfriend.”

“Yep, that’s me. My name’s JJ.” JJ shook her hand with a friendly smile.

“Nice to meet you, JJ. Come on in, guys. Julian and I already ordered pizza, and we’re looking for a movie to watch right now.” As she spoke, Kassi opened the door wider to let you and JJ inside.

You walk in to see Julian sitting on Kassi’s couch with the TV remote in his hand. Not gonna lie, you did feel kind of awkward seeing him for the first time after you rejected him. And, there was a small part of you that regretted lying to him.

He was wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, and his brown hair was messier than it usually was. He looked good.

As soon as he noticed you two walk in from the corner of his eyes, he finally looked in your direction. For a moment, you could see a hint of jealousy in his expression before he quickly hid it with a friendly smile. He stood up as you and JJ approached the living room. “Hey, man. I’m Julian. You are?”

“JJ.” The boys shook hands before everyone piled on the couch. You and JJ were cuddled up together, Julian was on the other side of the couch you two were on, and Kassi sat in the recliner by the couch.

The room was silent besides the sound of the remote clicking as Julian searched for a movie to watch. “So, how did you guys meet?” Kassi asked, trying her best to save the awkward silence.

“Oh, uh, JJ’s friends with my brother.” You answered casually, only earning a nod from Kassi. This question was easy. It was one of the few questions you’ve actually thought about.

“How long have you guys been dating?” She asked.

“About to be four months,” JJ answered this time.

Julian’s head snapped in your direction. “You hid a relationship from us for four months?” You could tell he was hurt, and that made you feel even more guilty if that was even possible.

“Julian, I’m sorry, but we couldn’t risk people finding out about us.” You tried your best not to get into a fight with your best friend of 4 years over a stupid, fake relationship.

“Oh, yeah? And why’s that?” Julian asked, his arms crossed. You and JJ looked over at each other, not knowing how to answer this question.

Okay, so maybe you should have thought this through a little bit more.

Just as you thought you were going to be caught in your lie, Kassi spoke up. “Julian, you know how protective her brother is. He wouldn’t let you hang out with her for a year unless someone else was there with you. So how would you think he’d react to finding out his best friend is dating his sister?”

“Exactly.” You agreed, nodding at Kassi.

“Maybe, but why couldn’t you at least tell me?” Julian asked, now turned towards where you and JJ sat with a hurt expression painted on his face. JJ just sat there as you did the talking, not wanting to get this guy mad at him and make everything worse.

“Because you could have told Kassi, and Kassi can’t keep a secret for the life of her. No offense, Kassi.”

“None taken.”

“Okay, I guess that’s understandable,” Julian muttered with a sigh, but you could tell he was still suspicious. “Now, what do you guys want to watch? I can’t find anything.”

--

Once the movie was over, everyone was exhausted and ready to go home. You all helped Kassi clean the living room before saying goodbye and heading out the door. “Bye, guys! It was nice meeting you, JJ!” The sweet girl shouted from the doorway, barely able to keep her eyes open.

“Nice meeting you too.” JJ smiled back, walking in front of you to his truck. You and Julian waved at the blonde girl before watching as she shut the door.

Just as you were about to catch up to JJ’s truck, Julian stopped you, “Wait.” You turned around to face him, giving him a questioning look. “I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“Well,” Julian chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t necessarily believe that JJ existed.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head to the side a bit.

“Like, I thought you were lying to me about having a boyfriend.”

“Why would you think that?” You chuckled nervously.

“Well, I don’t know. You’re just so sweet. I thought that you were pretending to have one just so my feelings wouldn’t get hurt.” Julian laughed as if what he was telling you was stupid. If only he knew.

“What? That’s crazy.” You laughed with him. “I would never lie to you, Julian. You’re my best friend.”

Julian nodded, smiling. “I know, and that’s what I love so much about you.” After that statement, the silence between you two became extremely awkward. “But, uh, I like JJ. He’s cool. You should invite him to hang out with us more often.”

“Of course.”

Julian glanced behind you at JJ, who was sitting in his truck waiting for you. “I’ll let you guys get back home. But, first, uh, one question.”

“Yeah?”

Julian lowered his voice to an almost whisper so JJ wouldn’t hear from the truck. “Does he know that I, uh, asked you out?”

You immediately shook your head no. “Of course not. I wouldn’t want him to get mad at you, especially since you didn’t know I was in a relationship.”

“Thank you.” Julian gave you a small smile, starting to head towards his car. “Good night, (y/n).”

“Good night, Julian.”

--

During that whole car ride, you and JJ talked and talked about just about everything. You laughed about the movie and about conversations that happened earlier. It was like you could never get bored when you were around JJ.

All good things come to an end, though, and JJ finally arrived at your house. “You spending the night tonight?” you asked him, your hand on the door handle.

“No, I think I’m going to stay at home tonight.” He told you, tapping his fingers on his steering wheel. “But don’t worry, you won’t have to miss me for too long. I’ll always be here in the morning,” He told you, making you smile.

“Can you walk me to the door?” You asked, only earning a nod in response as you both got out of the truck and headed to the front door. “Oh, I almost forgot. Julian said that he likes you and to invite you to hang out again.”

JJ smiled, putting a hand on his chest dramatically. “Well, I would be honored.” You both laughed, now standing on your front porch. “Just let me know when you guys are planning on hanging out again.”

“Will do. Good night.”

“‘Night.”

You were about to walk inside, and JJ was almost off the porch when you turned back around to add something. “Oh, one more thing.”

“Yeah?” JJ turned around to face you.

“Thank you.”

“For what” He furrowed his eyebrows, confused as to what you were thanking him for.

“For agreeing to, you know, pretend to date me. I would have been in so much trouble if it wasn’t for you.” You explained, causing JJ to give you a small smile in return.

“It’s no problem.” The sweet smile on his face soon turned into a cocky smirk. “But, remember, you’ll owe me one.” The blond boy winked before walking off to his truck and driving away.

You watched him drive off while rolling your eyes with a grin on your face. “Asshole.” You muttered to yourself as you entered your home and went straight to bed.

--

a/n again: so, I didn’t really change that much because I realized that I don’t actually hate it that bad, and I was just overthinking it as usual. It is definitely longer, though, so I guess that’s a plus?

taglist: @is-it-really-a-secret (sorry for tagging you again lol)

[watermelonlipstick]

Dreams, Chapter 7

If you haven’t read this series before, you might want to start on Chapter 1, or check out the Dreams Masterlist! Here’s the series description:

When Dean dies for good leaving Sam and his girlfriend (the reader) behind, they must figure out how to carry on without him. Alone, reeling, and unsure what to do next, trying to honor Dean’s memory and follow their hearts gets even more complicated when their nightmares become dreams that feel a little too real.

Title: Dreams, Chapter 7

Pairing: (past) Dean Winchester x Reader, (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 4184

Summary: Life moves toward normalcy for Sam and the reader, regardless of emotional turmoil.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, s l o w  b u r n

          A few days later the Kaisers came into the bar for a nightcap and asked you and Sam to come to their house for dinner. You couldn’t think of a reason not to, and honestly thought maybe it would be nice to have something to structure the week around. It had been quiet, just barely beneath solemn while the dust settled and Sam stayed mostly silent while you moved around each other throughout the day. At least at the Kaisers’ Sam would have to talk to you, maybe even sidle up close to you during waking hours to keep up the couples’ charade. A little zap of guilt moved through you as you politely agreed to a time, that the second thought you’d had was about getting closer to Sam under this guise. In any case, the Kaisers were kind, it wouldn’t hurt to have a nice meal with someone else, and if you were going to stay here, it would be a good idea to avoid appearing standoffish. You bought their last drink and were waving after them when Sam came upstairs from changing a keg.

           “We’re going to the Kaisers’ for dinner tomorrow,” you offered, trying to keep your voice even and making a point of not staring at Sam too long. It was a challenge; since Sam had kissed you and even more since he’d divulged that longing was part of the tangle of emotions he was feeling, it was on your mind nearly constantly, adding a murky stripe to the ever-present grief.

           “Oh, uh, okay.” Sam jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans like he didn’t know what to do with them. “What time?”

           “They said 7:30. Don’t let me forget; I think we should bring a bottle of wine or something, so I can grab one tomorrow.”

           “Yeah, that works.”

           You wanted to drag out the conversation but couldn’t think of any way to that wasn’t cloying or desperate. If this (hopefully temporary) emotional distance was what Sam needed, it was unfair for you to try to take it from him. A quick nod and you returned to washing glasses.

           The rest of the shift passed agonizingly slowly. Sam put on a podcast about Jonestown for the drive home.

           You’d decided to walk over to the Kaisers’ with Sam the next day, bundled up on top of a presentable sweater that you hadn’t worn in a few years. Biting wind sliced through your jeans and seemed to creep into your coat even as you dug your chin inside the collar like a turtle, and when Sam noticed he threw an arm around you. His side blocked a bit of the wind and he rubbed your shoulder to warm it with friction. The impulse to curl up into his ribs was fierce, but you fought it down to wrap your forearms around the bottle of red wine that looked the fanciest of the midrange bottles at the grocery store. Where seconds before you had been wishing the walk were shorter, now you could’ve stayed out in the ice forever if it meant Sam would allow himself to be close to you again without being asleep. You’d made peace with the want, trying hard to decide that feeling crazy on top of your grief wasn’t helping anyone.

           “Ready?” Sam asked with a tentative smile at the doorway. The Kaisers lived in a version of your cabin, in the sense that many of the houses in the area were log-hewn and rustic. However, they were clearly here to stay. Window flowerbeds filled with pinecones for the season and delicately carved shutters framed warm casts of light streaming onto the snow through gauzy ivory curtains, and their door opened to a tiny front porch where yours simply had a small ungraceful cement platform. For a moment, you thought about how comforting it would be to come back here at the end of a shift. It didn’t feel like somewhere as darling as this could have a half-broken boiler that rattled all day or plastic-coated countertops. This was a home and not a hideout.

           You gave Sam what you hoped was a reassuring grin and watched as his long finger pressed an old-fashioned doorbell encased in wrought iron.

           Mike answered the door. He had on a fuzzy pullover that made him look even more like a teddy bear than he normally did, nubbly wool spanning his belly like fur. He had the kind of rosy full-cheeked smile some jolly men combined with their booming voices to seem like the Ghost of Christmas Present, and a well-groomed beard with two starkly delineated streaks of gray-white dropping straight down from the corners of his mouth. From previous neighborly hugs, you knew he smelled like piney aftershave. He was a little taller than average, and built former-linebacker solid. You would’ve bet anything he was the perfect dad to call to help move you into a college apartment or scare an ex-boyfriend, and the thought of it made you cheerful and sad all at once. The hand not holding the doorknob had a pint of dark beer. “Great, you’re here! Babs, they’re here,” he added over his shoulder, gesturing an arm to welcome you into the home.

           Sam waited for you to go first, shuffling his feet along the doormat in tandem with you as Mike closed the door. You followed Mike’s socked initiative and gently toed your boots off while you handed him the bottle of wine somewhat shyly. For all the years you’d been on your own, there was something so decidedly adult about bringing wine over to the dinner party of a middle-aged couple that felt like those first few meetings of your parents’ friends after college, when you’re not sure whether to call them by their first names or resign yourself to a life of Mr This and Mrs That. Mike seemed to pick up on it, thoughtfully appraising the bottle and squeezing your shoulder, humming about how you didn’t have to bring anything. He clapped Sam on the back and asked him how he was doing before teasing gently about how long his hair had gotten, and you took in the house.

           It was bigger than the cabin you were staying in, the staircase to your left suggesting an upstairs that yours didn’t have, but what was far more striking was how warm it felt both in mood and literal temperature. A fire crackled straight through the main room in front of you, surrounded by giant river rock stonework that offset caramelly beige walls. A deep, plush canvas sofa faced the fireplace, flanked by two equally overstuffed armchairs upholstered with burnt sienna stained leather. Quick visual survey gave you a count of 4 throws in the room of various weights and patterns.

           The kitchen was over to the right through the dining room. Barbie was wearing an apron covered in piglets and appeared to be basting something in the oven, turning toward you and absentmindedly wiping her hands. Fluffy, soft-looking hair was held back from her face with a pair of no-nonsense tortoiseshell barrettes. “Oh, perfect! I thought I hadn’t left enough time for the roast, but it looks about done. Can I get you two a drink?”

           Sam’s soft, encouraging smile was enough to make you feel a little weak in the knees. “Sure! It smells great in here.”

           “How about an old fashioned? We’ve been working through a great bottle of bourbon.”

           “Works for me,” Sam agreed, and you nodded as well.

           A few moments of small talk later, Sam offered to help Barbie with the food. She graciously accepted, giving him some job you knew she could’ve easily done herself as a way to make him feel more comfortable. Mike noticed you looking at the variety of pictures on the wall and started talking about their kids, putting names to each cheerful face. They were a good-looking family, the Kaisers, all big beaming smiles and limbs protectively wrapped around each other over the course of different seasons and major events. You’d had to let go of this idea years ago, long before Dean was gone, but it still made you ache in a nondescript way to see a family so happy and so each others’, not only in the way they loved but also in the way they so obviously belonged. Mike and Barbie were good people, and they deserved this. You tried to focus on the affection in Mike’s face as he talked, asking a few clarifying questions as he went. A few moments later, Sam came up behind you.

           “Barbie says we should go sit down.” There was a pinkness to his cheeks and you couldn’t tell if it was the warmth of the kitchen or residual windburn from your walk over.

           The table was one of those single-plank, live-edged ones you’d always coveted and knew were far more expensive than they looked. It fit the elevated rustic feel of the Kaisers’ house and the delicious, rib-sticking meal you were eating off of it. As you fawned over the roast and Barbie did the requisite Midwestern dance of ‘oh it’s nothing I’ll give you the recipe’ it was easy to fantasize about belonging somewhere like this, having parents like this, pictures of your cousins and nieces and nephews lining the walls of your childhood home. Indulgent, clearly, even more so than the rich food and smooth liquor, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel guilty about it.

           “So, have you two always worked in the bar industry? That always seemed so fun to me—but I’m too old to do anything like that now,” Barbie asked.

           “Oh, come on, you’d be a great bartender,” Sam insisted, always coming down on the exact right spot between flattering and politely flirtatious. “But uh, no. This is the first bar I’ve worked in for more than a few weeks, actually.”

           Mike raised his eyebrows in an indication to continue but Sam artfully avoided his gaze. You couldn’t tell what the cue was—how honest was Sam planning on being? An old classic, the technically-true, seemed like the best option. “I worked as a bartender through and a little bit after college.”

           “Silly me, I guess I had always thought that’s how you two had met; you seem like such a good team there! How did you meet, then?”

           You artfully popped an entire fingerling potato in your mouth to force Sam to take over. “Uh, our, ah, families were friends.” In the sense that Bobby had been like an uncle to you both, maybe. A complete non-answer that sort of encompassed the barebones of the situation if you squinted at it right, but neither Mike nor Barbie seemed to recognize the opacity of it.

           “That’s great. I bet your parents were excited then, seeing you get together,” Mike suggested before taking a sip of bourbon. Both you and Sam smiled affirmatively—not together, many of those parents long dead before we had even met—and hoped the moment would pass. “How long has it been, then? Since you got together?”

           That one you couldn’t even guess what the right pretend answer would be and prepared to joke ‘too long’ before Sam said, “About two years. We knew each other for a long time before that, though.” It made sense, as far as answers went. ‘About two years’ since Dean was gone, since your lives changed, but it still ripped through you like an electric shock and sent you reeling. You could have spent an hour looking at that statement from every angle but snapped out of it when Barbie gave you a basket of rolls to pass to Mike.

           “So that explains why she doesn’t have a ring,” Mike winked, playfully knocking Sam’s arm with his fork still in his hand. “Two years isn’t that long.”

           Two years is a lifetime. Sam blushed and looked down at his plate. “Be nice. Kids don’t get married at 20 like they used to,” Barbie teased from across the table, smirking at her husband with so much love behind her eyes. You couldn’t help but wonder if you would’ve looked at Dean like that across some dining room table if things had been different and your mind flashed on the kitchen counter a few nights before, silently clinking rocks glasses together over pie and wanting to hold Sam until the world got more fair.

           The plates were cleared and an amazing, sticky bread pudding was brought out. Mike and Barbie coaxed each other into telling stories that made you genuinely belly laugh until finally you couldn’t suppress a tiny yawn and the final drink was poured with a joke about how it wasn’t like you were driving home, so what was the harm? You all moved to the living room in front of the fire, sitting next to Sam on the couch when Mike and Barbie took what must’ve been their normal spots in each armchair. Old cushions folded up around you comfortingly and rolled you slightly into Sam’s weight next to you, lining up the firm stretch of his thigh along yours. Warmth from the fire and Sam, the pleasant sounds of your hosts’ voices and Sam’s answers to them rumbling through you as vibrations when he spoke were so sweet and heavy under the bourbon, and your eyelids began to droop.

           Sam’s hand gently covered your knee. “Ready to go?” he asked, low with a private smirk.

           You made a conscious effort to sit up straight. “I’m so sorry, I can barely keep my eyes open! Where are my manners?”

           Mike laughed a big belly laugh from his armchair. “Babs, we’re outlasting the bartenders!”

           Everyone chuckled as you all got up from your chairs, Sam accepting a Tupperware of leftovers before the at-the-doorway conversation of people who didn’t want to go and hosts who didn’t want them to either. You’d been so nervous about the dinner and now you didn’t want to leave, honestly hadn’t really wanted to leave the sofa, just doze against Sam in the heat and company like a child. It had seemed before like maybe Mike and Barbie were just asking you for dinner because it was the thing to do, but they had been genuinely welcoming and you realized that these were the first non-hunter or hunting-related relationships you had made in literal years as you zipped your coat up all the way to the top and followed Sam outside into the quiet night.

           “Man, they are really nice,” he remarked, walking closely enough next to you that your sleeves brushed together.

           You could barely see his face when you looked up to him. “Yeah. We should have them over sometime.”

           “Our place looks like a flop house.”

           You giggled, the sound falling softly on the snow around you. “We can fix it up first.”

           “No real point in fixing it up if we’re not staying here for a long time.”

           “Maybe we could stay a while.”

           Sam looked down at you, slowing to a stop even as the icy wind whipped around you. “You want to stay?”

           “I mean, I—yeah, I think I do. Unless you think we should go somewhere else.”

           “No, I just…I guess I hadn’t really considered it here, the whole “roots” thing.”

           “It’s fucking freezing, can we talk at the cabin?”

           Sam’s laugh rang out across the woodsy surroundings as he clapped an arm around you and shuffled you both home.

           That night you tucked your cold toes between Sam’s flannel-clad legs and tried to imagine Dean as an old man.

           If you’d thought December and January were bad, the intense cold snap of February sent you for a loop. Something about the months of darkness and frozen fingers was making you more stir crazy than normal; the idea of coming home to the cabin seeming less and less enticing as the days went on.

           And then the boiler broke.

           Well and truly broke, not just making the horrible clanging sounds it was prone to, but no heat at all. It had only been a couple weeks since going to dinner at the Kaisers’ and the experimental conversation with Sam about investing time into the cabin which had since fizzled out. A lack of heat at the border of the Upper Peninsula in winter was obviously untenable, and it forced the topic again as you grumpily helped carry in the remnants of another dead tree Sam had felled to heat the home with firewood.

           “Is it worth fixing or is this a sign?” you huffed through the tiny clouds of steam coming out of your mouth. “How much would it cost?”

           “I don’t have a ton of experience with boilers, but I’m pretty sure it’s the heat exchanger. And I have no idea how much it would cost to fix, but I can try to do it myself if the parts aren’t too much.” Pragmatic, genius Sam with the patience for machinery that you didn’t have. He snaked a long arm out from the bundle of wood he was carrying to open the door and hold it for you to scurry under his arm before closing it after both of you.

           Generally, you thought a landlord would probably fix this kind of thing but it always felt a little scary asking him for anything, knowing you paid cash every month and the owner had never asked for a background check. It could have been fine, but every potential conflict seemed like it might be an opportunity to be unceremoniously evicted. Better to either leave before it could happen or solve the problem yourselves. You put a hand on Sam’s chest before he could go back for another bundle of wood. “Let’s talk about it for a second.”

           Sam put his hands on his hips and it accentuated the broad span of his shoulders in his thick jacket. “Okay, right. What do you think?”

           “Well, I mean, do you want to stay here? Or do you want to go somewhere else, or start moving again or something? We haven’t even really talked about it.”

           He seemed to be weighing the options before biting his lip. “Here seems as good a place as any in a lot of ways, you know? Off the beaten path, probably not going to get spotted by anyone we know—knew—and the money is honest.”

           You cut him off with a flippant wave of the hand. “Right, but I’m not talking strategically. Do you want to stay here? Do you like it here?”

           A moment of silence fell as you searched his face for clues. “I—yeah, I do. I like being in the woods, I like the bar, I like people like the Kaisers and Steve and Jake. Maybe I’ll feel differently in the summer but right now I do.”

           The grin cracked open your face slowly. “Good. I like it here too. Do you think the hardware store would have the stuff you need to fix it?”

           “Definitely the first place I would check.”

           After getting the rest of the wood inside and leaving it next to the small fire already burning to dry out, you started to follow Sam to the car before he turned around a step before the door. “Where are you going?” he asked as you almost bumped into him.

           “Hardware store, I thought?”

           “Nice try, we can’t both leave with a fire going.”

           “Oh, I get it. So you get to go sit in the warm car and hang out in the warm hardware store while I turn into a popsicle over here.” You were half-joking, but it was genuinely freezing in the cabin, even with the fire going. Sam rolled his eyes over a smirk and strode around you, pushing the couch tight to the fireplace before retrieving the down comforter from the bed and throwing it on top. He grabbed a rinsed plastic bottle from the top of the recycling bin and filled it with water hot from the tap before throwing it in the microwave for a second.

           “Unless you feel like learning a lot about boilers today, then yes.” He gingerly pulled the bottle out of the microwave and tightened the cap back on, deftly shifting it between hands before tossing it under the comforter on the sofa.

           You were having a hard time holding onto your anger as you watched him make a cup of peppermint tea, still wearing his boots and coat as he moved around the tiny kitchen. Reluctantly, you shuffled over to the couch and removed only your boots and gloves before getting under the blankets, tucking your socked feet around the poor man’s hot water bottle and finally smiling only when Sam brought over the steaming mug of tea with more than a touch of affection under the exasperation coloring his face. “Fine?”

           “Fine.”

           When he came back, you were well into a worn paperback and had put two more logs on the fire already. “Do you need help?” you called over your shoulder from within the comforter cocoon.

           “I think I’ve got it, thanks.” His words came into the room on a gust of cold air while he tapped snow off of his boots.

           “Think you know what you’re doing?”

           “Actually, yeah. The woman at the hardware store—you’d recognize her, Diane I think—knew a fair amount about it. I’m pretty sure I have it under control.” He brought a paper bag weighted with supplies over to the utility closet you knew held the boiler and got to work.

           It was nice watching Sam in this element, always had been. As much as Dean had loved doing little projects and fixing things, both Winchesters were far handier than your average bear and Sam’s natural interest in learning lent itself well to tinkering with all kinds of things. Evidently boilers were not an exception. He shucked his coat off to lie flat on his back, looking up  at something you couldn’t see with his hands gently resting on his ribcage before reaching to grab a wrench. The twisting motion raised his elbow and tugged his shirt a bit up his torso to reveal a few inches of Sam’s lower abdomen, the trail of hair tracing to his belt buckle in slightly sharper contrast to the taught skin around it given the consecutive months spent without sun. It made you blush and you quickly looked back to your book, grateful for the heat that the fireplace was bringing to your cheeks as cover.

           About forty minutes later, Sam tapped your shoulder and startled you out of the goofy historical fiction of the paperback. “Wanna see if it works?”

           He had a stripe of oil or something on his cheek but you resisted the impulse to swipe it off, instead nodding and extricating yourself from the heat of the blanket and couch around you. When you turned it on, the boiler clicked loudly twice in a way you thought might be a bad omen before going silent again. You let an extended beat pass and placed a palm on the side. It was already on the edge of being too hot to touch and you momentarily forgot that you and Sam had decidedly not been continuing your new normal level of comforting affection lately before throwing your arms up high around his neck excitedly. He chuckled into your ear and closed the embrace, forearms crossing your ribcage and hoisting you off the ground as he stood up in your hug. You could feel the fingers of one hand splayed out over your back and side through your jacket, the other still holding the wrench tightly.

           “Okay, no promises it’s going to last, but I think that was it,” Sam offered as you released each other.

           “Crank it! I want it to feel like the Caribbean in here.”

           “You say that now, and in 3 hours you’re going to be whining about how hot you are,” Sam grinned, clearly feeling a little proud of himself even if he wouldn’t admit it. He tapped the wrench absentmindedly against his palm for a moment, considering whether he wanted to say something. “When I was at the hardware store she said our landlord might be open to cutting our rent if we offered to fix up the place.”

           “Who’s we?” you teased, holding your frozen fingers close to the boiler like it was a campfire.

           “I thought you might say that. But seriously, I know you don’t like the color of the walls or the shower pressure or whatever, could make it feel a little less…sterile.”

           You tried not to remember that the last time you’d picked out paint was for a bright pink bedroom at age 12. Sam was right, it could be nice. Even more than that, it would be great to have some leftover cash around, and an extra project to kill a few hours of daylight wasn’t a bad idea.

           “I kind of like the sound of that. I’ll talk to him about whether he’d be game.” Sam squeezed your shoulder before massaging your neck, admiring the boiler distractedly when you continued. “And seriously, thank you for fixing it.”

-

Continue to Dreams, Chapter 8

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[theoreticslut]

The Truth that you Deny // Part 5

pairing: fred weasley x reader x george weasley

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none

A/N: i’m honestly so sad that this is the last part to this series guys :( I had so much fun writing it and have had such amazing feedback on it, i’m not sure i want to give it up. I have thought about doing a small drabble or two of the story further into the relationship, but i don’t want to drag it out too long. If you guys like it enough and would like a sort of epilogue, let me know and I’ll definitely think about doing one. thank you to everyone that’s been reading this as I post it and giving feedback and/or reblogging. I am eternally grateful for you guys <3 out of the previous 4 parts this story has a total of about 400 notes which is actually crazy. so just, thank you! i love you guys Xx

Taglist: @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @yikesyikesyikes95 @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog @msmimimerton

You woke up christmas morning excited to spend the day with the people you considered family. You felt that you had gotten them all some great gifts and couldn’t wait to give them to each of them.

Even thought it was only 7:30 in the morning you couldn’t help but be awake. You knew most everyone else was still sleeping save for Mr and Mrs Weasley.

You decided that you’d like to have a shower before everything got started today so you quietly got yourself out of bed and found yourself some clothes to wear.

Stepping into the hall was oddly uncomfortable since there was no distant chatter from downstairs or someone’s room, but nonetheless you made your way to the bathroom which was just down the hall from Fred and George’s room.

Neither of them would be up for at least another half hour which was plenty enough time to shower.

You started the water and waited for it to warm up as you stripped down naked.

Stepping into the shower you shivered at the sheer temperature difference, but you happily welcomed the warm water on your skin.

You washed your face and shampooed your hair, finishing it before adding some conditioner. You started shaving and as you did so you started humming, getting lost into one of your favourite songs.

Eventually you finished shaving and washing your body, able to rinse the suds from your skin. You sighed as you shut the water off and stepped out into the bath mat.

After drying off and getting dressed in a pair of jeans and an older sweater, you picked up your mess and put everything back the way it was, throwing your towel into the basket Mrs Weasley had left in there for them.

Opening the door you were surprised to find George sitting on the floor against the wall.

“George?”

“Hmm? Oh, are you done?” He asked, lazily looking up at you from the floor.

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “Uh, what were you doing out here?”

“I had to use the bathroom but you were in there so I figured I’d wait right here. But I’m still a bit tired and you sing really nice.” He smiled, taking your extended hand to get up.

“Oh, uh, thank you. I’m sorry I kept you waiting, but it’s all yours now.” You smile as he nods, smiling back at you.

As you walk away he can’t help but notice how great you smell, which is only more intense in the small bathroom.

~.~

As you appear downstairs, you’re greeted by Mrs Weasley as she makes a pot of coffee.

“Good morning.” You smile.

“Good morning, dear. Would you like a cup?” She asks as you stand next to the table.

“Yes, please.”

“Is anyone else up yet?” She asks.

“I ran into George on the way out of the bathroom, but I haven’t heard or seen anyone else. George doesn’t even look like he’s ready to be up yet.” You chuckle, taking the mug she hands out to you.

“Typical.” She smiles, sitting down at the table and motioning for you to do the same.

“Have you talked to Fred and George yet about everything?” She asks, taking a sip from her mug.

“Not yet. I didn’t want to make anything awkward right before the holidays, but I’ll tell them soon”

She nods and takes another drink from her mug.

~.~

After sharing a cup of coffee and a good half hour conversation about school and what you’re thinking about for next year, Mrs Weasley asked if you would wake everyone up.

First you went and woke Ginny as she was closest. She didn’t quite want to be up yet so you left her and made your way to the twins room.

You knocked on the door, not hearing anything from inside.

“Fred? George? Time to get up.” You knocked again, but still didn’t hear anything.

Carefully, you opened the door and peered around to see the two of them still fast asleep. You sigh, but smile nonetheless.

You make you’re way into their room to shake them awake. You start with Fred to which he just groans, turning around.

“Come on you two. It’s time to get up.” You huff, trying to pull the blanket off George as he fights you.

“You two are impossible.” You sigh, shrieking when Fred grabs you from behind and pulls you down onto the bed with him.

Both of them laugh as you huff, trying to wiggle your way out of his grasp.

“Your hair is cold.” He points out as his face rests on it.

“I showered this morning and it’s still damp.”

“I can’t imagine my hair taking that long to dry.” He says and you roll your eyes.

“Can you let me go, please? You know that your mum would kill us if she found us like this, right?”

He hummed, not really giving you an answer but acknowledging your statement.

“I really don’t feel like dying on Christmas.”

You can hear the both of them chuckle, but you still don’t get a response.

“Are you guys falling back asleep?! For Merlin’s sake” you groan slapping Fred’s arms and when that didn’t work you steal one of his pillows from under his head and hit him with it.

“Just ten more minutes, that’s all we’re asking.” George mumbles, already half asleep again.

“No! Get your ass up.” You huff, throwing Fred’s pillow at him.

After another few minutes of struggling you finally get them both out of bed and you sigh in exasperation.

With them finally awake you work on waking Ron and Harry, and then waking up Ginny for real.

~.~

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” Hermione greets as she makes her way in the house that afternoon.

“Merry Christmas, ‘mione.” You smile, taking her bag for her so she could take her jacket off.

“Have you guys done gifts yet?” She asks, hanging her coat on one of the hooks by the door.

“Not yet. We’ve been waiting for you. We can all sit in the living room and get started if you’re ready.” Mrs Weasley said, carrying a tray filled with mugs of cocoa for everyone.

Hermione nodded and followed you into the living room, taking a seat next to Harry, Ron, and Ginny. You take your place  between Fred and George, both of whom smile as they pass you a mug from the tray.

About an hour of opening gifts, you were nearing the last couple gifts. So far you had received the traditional Weasley sweater with your initial on the front, a pair of sparkly yet simple teardrop earrings from Ginny, a book about one of your favourite classes from hermione, a notebook from Fred, followed by some nice quills from George, a mixtape both of them had put together for you of some of all your guys favourite songs. You had also gotten a new maroon scarf from Ron and some candies from Harry.

You had given Fred and George their gifts from you; a notebook for each of them to keep track of all their crazy inventions, a few joke toys you were certain they’d never seen which made each of them laugh, and a promise to buy them each a butterbeer on your next trip to hogsmeade.

Everyone else seemed to enjoy their gifts from you as well which was nice to know. You loved getting people gifts and it was always so much nicer when they liked them.

“Okay, I think this is the last of them and it’s for y/n from Fred and George.” Mr Weasley read.

You looked at them, gingerly taking the small gift as it was handed to you. You looked between the two twins wondering what else they could have gotten you as you had already gotten enough from them.

“Stop looking at us and open it.” Fred chuckles.

“Why did you get me something else? You both already gave me enough.”

“Just open it, please.” He smiles, rubbing his neck.

“I’m a little scared, nothing is going to pop out at me is it?”

“Nothing will pop out at you. We promise.” George says, looking over to his brother as you finally get the wrapping paper off the small box.

You open it up and gasp. Inside lay a beautiful silver locket with intricate detailing on the face of it.

“It’s beautiful” you whisper, looking between them.

“Open it up.” George urges.

You do as he says and your mouth falls open, your hand coming up to cover it.

“Fred, George...” you whisper, tears forming in your eyes.

On the inside, there was a picture of the three of you from earlier this year on the side that would lay against your chest. In the opposite side there was an engraving of a heart and the words ‘we love you, f & g’

“Do you like it?” Fred asks, trying to catch your eye as you’re still looking down at it.

You nod, trying to keep from crying.

“I love it.” You say, clearing your throat as it had gotten groggy holding back tears.

“Good,” Fred smiles. “We really like you, like a lot, y/n.”

“We have for awhile.” George adds.

“We weren’t sure how to tell you, but then we saw this locket and knew.” He smiles as you watch him.

“Yeah, we knew you would like wearing it, even more so when we got the engraving and picture put in.” Fred says.

“Like we said, we really like you, y/n.” George starts.

“It’s actually more than just liking you. We’ve both loved you pretty much since we all became friends.” Fred adds, the two of them seeming to ramble at this point.

“We know you were worried about hurting one of us, but you don’t have to. We don’t care what anyone else might say, we love you and we’re going to be with you for merlin’s sake.” George smiles, watching your face for a reaction.

You chuckle as tears are starting to spill over your cheeks. You pull both of them into a hug, sighing as you feel their arms wrap around you.

“It’s about time!” Ginny cheers, causing all of you to chuckle. Well except for Mrs Weasley who shushes her.

“It seriously is though. I’m glad you all finally admitted it.” Hermione says, smiling.

“Yeah, congrats guys.” Harry says.

“I love you, guys.” You whisper, smiling as they both kiss your cheek.

“This does mean you’ll be our girlfriend, right? And maybe even someday, our wife?” George asks.

You pull away and chuckle as you try to wipe your eyes.

“Yes. Merlin are you two dumb.”

Fred and George both smile at you, admiring how gorgeous you look sitting there as theirs, even when you have tear stains across your cheeks. It took a while to get here, but now that they were, they wanted to keep it for as long as they possibly could.

[tlou-1]

Joel x Reader - Homes (Chapter 8)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 TBA

Warnings: for cussing and smut/sexual content 

Chapter 8 - Telling Ellie 

That night you and Joel weren’t gentle with each other. As soon as he closed the door to the house you could feel him behind you, pushing your hair out of the way to be able to trail his mouth along your shoulders to you neck. “You drive me crazy” he murmurs against your skin. You would do things to get this kind of reaction from him, knowing he couldn’t do or say anything to you in public you sometimes found yourself bending down slowly to reach for things in the bar knowing he was looking right at you.

Both of you simply just want each other there and then. Joel pulls you from the hallway to the kitchen. No way could he wait till carrying you upstairs to have you. He pulls down your clothing so you’re only in your panties as he hoists you up on the counter. He starts with his hands as he moves and reacts to your moans against his shoulder. You push him back slightly so he is looking at you, before you go any further 

“When will Ellie be back?” You pant.

“Don’t worry I said she had to be home for nine tonight, we got time” he grabs your hips and pulls you closer to him. 

You pull at his belt trying to undo it whilst you he removes his shirt. Once you do and he is finally free of all his clothing, he teases you “What do you want?” Putting his finger under your chin to look up at him. 

“You know what I want, I want you” you plead as you put your hand to the back of his head trying to pull him closer. 

“God I just love it when you say it” He smirks as he swiftly enters you making you call out his name in response.  

You are both damp with sweat and red in the face when Joel goes stiff and quickly pulls out. Both of you are left panting trying to catch your breath. “That was fucking close” Joel mutters to himself. There wasn’t much birth control going about in post apocalyptic world so you mostly had to rely on Joel pulling at the right time but you trusted him with your life on patrols and you could trust him with this. 

“Do you want to stay tonight? He asks pulling his shirt back on. It was rare you ever stayed, maybe if Ellie was staying at a friends but that wasn’t often. 

“What about Ellie? What if she-“ before you could finish Joel takes your hand in his and brushes the inside of wrist with his lips.

“Just come to bed, I am exhausted after that. We can talk there”.

You pull one of Joel’s shirts off their hangers and climb into bed propping yourself on top of him. Joel wouldn’t sleep until he knew Ellie was home safe but she still had over half an hour and she was rarely back early now she had her friends. He begins to trace circles on the outside of your thighs and adjusts himself so he is sitting up slightly. 

Joel clears his throat “I think we should have a talk with Ellie about us”. You are slightly taken a back, you knew you would have to talk to Ellie at some point but you had always thought you and Joel would have spoken about your relationship first. 

“Don’t you think we should talk about us first?” You asks tilting your head at him.

“Hmm, well. I think your sister seems to have some idea fo what’s going on. I see the way she watches us both and if Molly thinks she knows, I am sure Jessie knows along with Tommy.” He pieces together. 

He wasn’t wrong and to top it off there had been a lot of eyes on you both tonight which would undoubtably lead to talk tomorrow. “Okay but what do we tell them all?” You sigh. 

“Well I do feel too old to be calling anyone my girlfriend” he laughs but then a gentle ernest look washes over his face “but I know that I haven’t met anyone like you Y/N in a hell of a long time, maybe not ever. You are pretty fierce thing, you’re witty, you keep me on my toes and I feel at home when I am with you” he finishes and you slip both your hands at the back of his head again. 

“We can tell her tomorrow that we are together” you say before pulling him in for a kiss. 

Both of you curl up next to each other, Joel’s eyes watching the alarm clock on the bedside, 20:30. You knew he would stare at that clock for another fifteen minutes before he got overly tense or worried about Ellie’s whereabouts. “She’ll be here Joel, you know she always cuts it close to curfew” you mummer against his back. 20:45 and the door finally open and closes shut “Joel!” Ellie calls out in a loud whisper out of breath from the bottom of the stairs. 

“Ellie I swear to god another 10 minutes and I would have been out in town looking for you” he calls back. 

“I was only at Dina’s and you said nine o’clock tonight! I am on time” she says, you feel like you can hear her rolling her eyes and can’t help but let out a small laugh against Joel’s back which seems to make him take it easier.

“Just go to bed kiddo, its late and I want to talk with you in the morning”.

You wake as Joel shifts in the bed, your turn in closer to him as you feel the cool morning air let in from the moving duvet. He pulls your arms closer to him and he kisses the top of your head, his beard grazing your forehead. “Morning darlin” he says into your hair. 

“Good morning” you reply and you burrow your head further into his chest. You never understood how people could stay in bed all day, you hadn’t really seen the appeal before Joel.

“I know I could stay in bed too but I need to get up and speak with Ellie before she hears anything from someone else” he smiles back at you as he gets ready for the day. You loved watching him dress for the day, there was something so mundane about him getting dressed for the day but it was something only you got to see. “Do you want me to come with you” you ask sitting up.

“Not just now, I heard her get up. Give us a few minutes and then come down and join us” he sighs, you could tell he was a bit nervous. You grab his hand and pull him in for a quick kiss.

“She’ll be fine”. 

After a while you begin to get yourself dressed and ready for the day. You could hear Ellie and Joel had speaking for a while but you really didn’t want to invade this private moment between them. It sounded quiet enough when you began to make your way downstairs, peering through the kitchen doorway you can see Joel and Ellie sat at the table. “Come on YN. We are all done now” Joel smiles. Ellie turns her head around to see you “Morning Y/N, have fun last night?” She laughs. “What?” Both you and Joel say in unison shocked. Ellie looks between you rolling her eyes “Last night? Heard you knocked some guy out. Bad ass”. You and Joel both begin laughing and Ellie joins in as you sit down to you first of many breakfast together.