#I love the golden girls

[quotes-from-cybertron]

SCENE - RATCHET & FIRST AID talking as they work together to reattach RODIMUS'S arm

FIRST AID: I mean how many mechs can a grumpy overworked medic have dated?

RATCHET: 56.

FIRST AID: What.

RATCHET: I had about 56 lovers. Of course that was before the war. I probably would have had more but once I started running the clinic and got promoted to Head Medic I had bigger concerns.

FIRST AID: 56? 56?

RODIMUS: Oh, Primus. This is amazing. I have never been so glad to be injured.

FIRST AID: What do you mean you had 56 lovers?! You told me you hadn't ever fully interfaced until Drift! He was your first serious relationship!

RATCHET: You can see someone without going straight to swapping cables, popping panels, or flashing you Spark, kid.

FIRST AID: No you can't!

RATCHET & FIRST AID: (stare at each other)

FIRST AID: If that were true Ratchet–that would–that would mean you were a slut.

RODIMUS: (exaggerated gasp) Aid!

RODIMUS: How can you say that! So RATCHET had 56 lovers in a single orn. He isn’t a slut.

RATCHET: (eyes him distrustfully)

RODIMUS: (catches his gaze and grins) He is THE Slut. He is the Prime of all Sluts. The Party Ambulance that always rides at the end of the night. He is the easiest mech in this room.

FIRST AID: You take that back.

RODIMUS: THE SLUTS (gestures to himself and FIRST AID, grinning widely) ARE DEAD LONG LIVE THE PARTY AMBULANCE!

[hootybal-lecter]

Damn, I'm watching the spinoff of The Golden Girls and it ranges from moderately funny to painfully unfunny 😩

[astronnova]

doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday

[tabithatwo]

I relate to lottie because if I had to soothe a group of cannibal teens in the wilderness who for some reason depended on my guidance, I too would probably just start throwing out fucking dbt ass name five things you can see techniques and pray none of them knew what it was

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

chinese hanfu models

[clementartz]

unspoken truth

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

back on my golden girls bullshit lads

[ddarker-dreams]

mini love report — gojo satoru

relationship health diagnosis — 70%*

symptom one — permanent honeymoon phase

he's obsessed with you an (ab)normal amount and makes it everyone else's problem. satoru loves seeing how many compliments he can get in before you're swatting him away from embarrassment. he'll capture your wrist, smother your pulse in kisses, then continue his praise. it's not always suave either. he alternates between having decent game and coming off as cringe. you have no idea how he says half the things he does.

satoru gushes about you to everyone. poor ijichi, mortified higher-ups, the elderly lady sitting next to him on the train; no one is safe. his chest swells with pride every time he remembers that he managed to pull you. it doesn't matter if you're teenagers sharing your awkward first kiss or if you've been married for decades, he'll be singing your praises until the end of time.

symptom two — weirdly possessive

satoru isn't possessive in the traditional sense. when others encroach on you, what troubles him runs deeper than simple jealousy. his smile becomes strained and he physically inserts himself between you and the offending party. you're then whisked away, regardless of how rude the abrupt departure comes off. this isn't limited to instances where you're being flirted with outright.

it's actually amplified when the other person holds some unique position in your life that's exclusive to them. satoru prides himself on the fact no one knows you better than he does. so it's disconcerting when another person has access to information and memories entirely detached from him. he's overwhelmed with the urge to prove you belong to each other — no one can come close to the bond you share. this acrimony lingers even after the interaction ends.

gojo satoru is a greedy man. he might not be the type to insist you cover up if your outfit is revealing, but he does experience this antipathy toward people who fulfill a niche he can't.

symptom three — obnoxious

you deserve a reward for putting up with him honestly. he wasn't wrong when he described himself as having a terrible personality. while it's rarely malicious, he isn't the most considerate person when it comes to others. he'll speak what's on his mind without a second thought. zero filter. if you're around, he's a stunning 10% nicer so you'll chew him out less. the number could be higher but he finds that disciplinary side of you hot. this is a direct admission from him.

he likes your attention and will pursue it relentlessly. as he grows up, he slightly improves this habit. or, to be more specific, he hides it better. he feels he's way more interesting than whatever book or video game you're playing. shooing him off so you can get stuff done is a commonplace occurrence. on the upside, when trudging through chores, he helps with the passion of a thousand suns if it means having you all to himself sooner.

primary area of concern

satoru's seemingly infinite (heh) supply of pep often doubles as a shield to deflect uncomfortable emotions. he isn't one to linger on negative events, the pace in which he seemingly moves on is concerning. the innerworkings of his mind are shrouded in mystery for such an open individual. getting him to open up about his fears or past hurts is almost impossible. he won't dodge your inquiries outright, that'd prove too suspicious. he'll throw a few crumbs your way and hope that's enough to satiate your worry.

the word vulnerability isn't in his vocabulary. this isn't owed to a lack of trust on his part — if anything, the care he holds for you makes it tempting at times. however, taking that first step toward opening up is daunting. you'll have to be patient with him. if it doesn't pertain to your relationship, it's unlikely he'll have an extensive heart-to-heart about the specters haunting his mind. rather, those aforementioned crumbs become more substantial. a late-night conversation will unexpectedly veer toward a sensitive subject.

it'll be fleeting. you don't have to shower him with platitudes, simply grab his hand and squeeze. it's an unspoken message that he isn't as alone as he sometimes feels.

prognosis

gojo satoru can be too blunt, he struggles with emotional intimacy, and he's shameless in getting what he wants from you. he's a mess but he's your mess. you don't revere him like a god among men, you make him feel human. you're his best friend, his soulmate (he keeps the latter description to himself, it's one of the few sentiments that embarrasses him). he'd do absolutely anything for your sake. when you enter the room, it's like everyone else ceases to exist. he brightens up and chases after any laugh, smile, or flustered expression he can get.

he believes meeting you altered the balance of the world more than his own birth.

*the universe has tried (and failed) to wrench you apart (0-20) your friends are praying that you'll break up (21-40) 'well it could/has be worse' bargaining mindset (41-60) a lil messiness as a treat (61-80) pure and wholesome (81-10)

[mothstiel]

i’m gonna die all alone next to you in this piece of shit town

[spenglerstwinkie]

Requiem for a Traitor

[yesmaddyposts]

@gender-kenvy here

argue with THE WALL (this one was tough tbh)

Ryan Gosling Character Alignment Chart (3/?)

[spite-and-waffles]

FUCK YES STEPHANIE IS THE JASON THAT NEVER WAS PANDA YOU ARE THE HERO THIS FANDOM NEEDS BUT DOES NOT DESERVE PREACH THE GOSPEL OF STEPHANIE AMEN

[schroedingerscryptid]

concept: when around other people, dr ratio and aventurine have the biggest case of "we're going to debrief this later" glances/subtle side-eyes everytime they hear class-a bullshit

[fakier]

he's truly decked out

[cheesecakeonthelanai]

Iconic Golden Girls Things (as voted by you!)

#7: Wishing I had Blanche's self-confidence (4.5%)

[skillbattle]

thank you for being a friend 🍰