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smolfangirl · 7 years ago

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Say my name and everything just stops

A sound so sweet, of you and me - 11 - First name

Oookay, here we are. It’s been such a stressful day (don’t start world wars, people!) and as a result, I can’t focus on anything so I can’t promise this chapter will be as closely proofread as the others... anyways, this contains guarenteed more fluff than this week’s episodes ^^

Story: In a world where you only know who your soulmate is by calling them their first name, Matteo soon finds that the smallest words can be the hardest to say.

Word count: 3.3k

Ever since his couch had found it’s place in Matteo’s room, he loved it. But he never loved it quite as much as now, with Luna laying on top of him like a big kitten – a kitten that smiled into his chest and curled up closer instead of purring.

“You know, you make a really good pillow”, she mumbled as he gently let his hand wander over her back. “Maybe I should take you home.”

He pressed a kiss on her forehead. “Maybe I’d let you.”

Luna tilted her head, her eyes finding his, full of happiness and joy and maybe, just maybe, she’d start purring for real any second.

Leaning forward, he stole a kiss from her nose.

She flinched. As he moved, her hands suddenly laid on his stomach, supporting her and by the look on her face, his abs didn’t go unnoticed. (The extra exercises definitely paid off.)

“If I took you home, you’d have to meet my parents. For real.”

Matteo’s hand kept wandering over her skin. She was already so close – he was literally covered by her – yet he wanted, needed, to feel more. Like a junkie always searching for a bigger hit.

“I know”, he replied.

“You seemed pretty nervous about it the other day”, she teased. “And my parents are actually nice, they won’t eat you or something. The only Italian they eat is pizza. Sometimes pasta, but not on weekends.”

Matteo hummed in agreement, a joke on his lips but then she shifted, her hips jolting against his and all his thoughts fell silent while his stomach lit up in flames.

Luna smiled at him. Her hand stroke his abs, moving along to the sides and it left trails of fire behind. He loved everything about this. Her smile. Them being wrapped up in each other, how she had to stretch to kiss him. How she made him happy, happy, happy.

“You realize that I’m falling in love with you, my little moon, right?”

Maybe it was selfish of him.

Luna deserved her name to be said, she deserved it coming out of his mouth. She deserved everything he could give her and so much more than that.

Yet, it never came across his lips.

Sometimes he imagined saying it. When they skated, and he felt like floating in the air. When she snuggled him, her curls tickling the skin on his arms and the touch of her body warming the coldest bits of his soul. The word would form in his throat every time, only to get exchanged for a nickname in the end.

Again, and again, and again.

Sometimes he caught her wrinkling her forehead now. Other times she only smiled like no cloud ever appeared on her very own, very blue sky. It bugged him, the feeling he disappointed her, but at the same time he just didn’t want this irrevocable proof, this shattered dream and the hauling demons lingering in the broken pieces of it.

So, he never said it.

It must have been selfish for sure. Luna gave and gave, she was like his personal Santa Clause all year long, and slowly he reached a point where he unpacked her gifts with the itching sensation that he got much more than he earned, deserved.

But she did it with a smile – he loved that smile, so much – so he spilled out how happy he felt around her and how he admired her until she replied by smiling even brighter.

In these moments, Luna’s aura burned the slightest shade of darkness in the world, burned the shadows until he only saw light.

In these moments, he slowly realized it would be okay.

He’d taken her out for ice creams. Just like that, for no other reason than to surprise her. Or that’s what he told her.

She loved those casual dates. Whether in school or at the rink, their friends lurked by closely, always in plain sight or hearing distance. So, getting Matteo all for herself was something special, like a weekend trip, and Luna enjoyed it just as much.

“Does it really bother you?”, he inquired in the middle of her second strawberry scoop.

A tiny pink dot landed on his cheek as she spoon-fed him, and when she laughed, he frowned.

Luna held in. “What does?”

“That I haven’t said your name yet.”

Her spoon clinked against the cup, with the ice cream falling right back into it. She had expected him to avoid this topic the same way he tip-toed around Gastón’s (inevitable) puns. Even now, with his question hanging in the air, she expected him to look away or fidget with the menu or stare on the menu – any sign of impatient anxiety, really.

She was wrong.

Instead of avoiding any eye contact, his eyes took her in, scanned her, studied her detail by detail. No anxiety, no fear, at least not for her to see.

“Look”, she rested her hand on top of his. “I don’t understand it. But it’s okay, it’s your decision and I will accept whatever you want to do. I’ll be fine either way.”

(Maybe she was wrong about something else too. Maybe he cared more about soulmates than she believed.)

“Sure?”

“Sure.”

Finally, Matteo smiled too. His gaze wandered to their hands while he played with her fingers. “Oh, just one more thing”, Luna added after she finished her ice cream.

“What?”

“Can I have one more scoop? Please? Just one!”

Matteo shook his head only to break out in laughter. “You’re insatiable.”

“Matteo, can I borrow your notes from physics class?”

“Why? You sat right next to me”, Matteo answered while he waited for Gastón to finally change from his PE clothes into his school uniform.

“I wasn’t paying much attention, besides that woman writes too fast to keep track. And you were writing the entire time, I thought I could just ask you.”

How incredibly unfortunate. “I wasn’t taking notes.”

Gastón completely did not approve of this. Matteo knew that before his best friend paused mid-changing his shirt to send him a distasteful click of his tongue.

“You can’t judge me, you said yourself you weren’t listening”, Matteo defended himself. “And hurry up, I don’t want to be late for lunch again only because of your slow ass.”

“Nina likes my slow ass.”

He rolled his eyes. One more minute and he’d take care of Gastón’s stupid tie himself. This laid-back fumbling made him nervous. “Yeah, because she’s your soulmate.”

“You’re my soulmate too.”

“Touché. Still, hurry up.”

Finally, Gastón grabbed his bag and walked towards the door. “I’m going to ask Ramiro for his notes. Dude copies faster than a printer. But what were you writing?”

They stepped outside into the air that felt even warmer compared to the air condition in the locker rooms. A few students relaxed on the grass, the younger ones chased each other around. Above them all, right in the middle of the sky, Matteo found the moon, lost in between the bright blue of the day. He smiled.

“I started writing a new song.”

“Uh, what’s it called? Ode to the moon? Moonstruck?”

“I can’t tell you often enough, you aren’t even half as funny as you think you are.”

Gastón crossed his arms in front of his chest, huffing, “Duh, I’m punny.”

“Not even that.”

It took Luna a good moment to pin-point the difference in Matteo’s room.

“You changed the sheets.” Dark blue and cotton replaced the satin. Very soft cotton, she found out when she let her hand wander over the fabric.

“Well, drunk you didn’t like them, so yes, I changed them.”

Drunk you. To her own surprise, she remembered that evening pretty well, though cuddling him turned out to be the most vivid memory. (It had felt as if he put a flame in her chest, but that flame was also what made her feel more alive than skating or singing or anything else she’d ever done.)

“I’d rather we not speak of drunk me again.”

Matteo let himself fall on the couch and pouted at her but waved her over at the same time. “I liked drunk you. Sober you doesn’t compliment me half as much.”

Luna climbed on his lap. “Sober me has to protect the world from your ego, that’s why.”

In the end, she had to kiss his pout away. Not that she minded.

Luna sat on his lap. His shirt had magically found its way on the ground and her hand cradled his hair. At first, her other hand gently rested on his cheek, but soon she caused goosebumps all over his skin. Featherlight kisses on his jawline, on his mouth, on his neck deleted any coherent thoughts, and he tried to get a hold of whatever was closest to his own mouth. Her nose brushed against his jawline before she went for this little spot behind his ears that just felt so good.

Matteo almost giggled when her knees pressed into his sides at her attempt to get closer but there were her lips on his and he could only pull her in.

“I really like that you have the whole house to yourself”, she whispered in between slow kisses.

He slightly nodded as to not disturb her in her mission to kiss as many spots of his face as possible. “I really like that your parents let you stay over.”

As she left more pecks on his cheek, he felt her grin. Her fingers painted the lines of his body in glorious colors, like an artist created a masterpiece, leaving behind a trail of her love wherever she touched him.

“The only reason they let me is because you finally had dinner with us and convinced them you don’t just want to seduce me.”

Matteo chuckled. Even in case he planned to seduce her – one look from her and he’d do anything she wanted.

“I even had to have this embarrassing ‘We hope you are staying safe’ talk”, she went on. A blush slipped on her face.

By the stars, he’d take in the sight of her for the rest of time without getting tired.

“And?”, he asked, pretending they hadn’t had this conversation yet. “Are you? Staying safe?” His hands ran along her spine. She arched into him, resting her head on his shoulder. At the sensation of his lips on her hair, she sighed.

“Let’s see – I’m alone with my boyfriend in a huge house. His shirt is off and we’re making out on his couch…”

“So?”

Luna grinned into his shoulder. “I think I’m good.”

He began to draw circles on her back, sometimes sneaking down to the hem of her top. “They’re probably happy to hear that.” Luna wrapped her arms around his neck. “And your parents?”

A huff escaped before he got the chance to hold it in. “They’re not too invested in my life and this time, I’m actually glad about it.”

Within a moment, she sat up enough to meet his eyes. She opened her mouth, perhaps to say she felt sorry for him – either way, he didn’t let her and kissed her instead.

More kisses. Calm and steady, like rain drops against his window on a summer night. His legs eventually lost all feeling, which didn’t matter. Luna made him feel so many things, so many more things than he’d ever imagined, that numb legs wouldn’t stop him from tasting her lips.

Luna simply was intoxicating.

And tired. She broke away to yawn loudly, then rubbed her eyes.

“I think we should go to bed”, Matteo said, caressing her cheek. A smile, sluggish yet warm. “Only if you keep your shirt off.”

Darkness. His blanket. And Luna in his arms, peacefully breathing into his chest.

Matteo knew he should feel happy.

He did. Mostly. Because this one thought, this one crippling fear of his, grew louder and stronger the more time he spent with Luna.

First, it only hovered in the back of his mind, kept in check by all the light she radiated. The darkness now lured it out of that corner, until he felt like he’d explode if he didn’t ask her.

“Are you awake?” he whispered into the silence.

Luna shifted, a soft groan on her lips. “Hm? You okay?” Her voice reminded him of her drunk version. Perhaps – hopefully – she’d be just as honest.

“Would you leave me? If you find your soulmate?”

“What?”

Surprise, even shock filled her tone. “No! I’d never leave you.” As if to prove it, she wrapped her arm around him and robbed closer.

His doubt remained, and he hated himself for it. “What if… what if you only think that now?”

She caught his lips, but he was certain he left a bitter taste, and she pulled away soon. “Listen”, her finger poked his chest, tapping it with each word she spoke. “I’m not waiting to meet someone who might not even exist for all I know.”

Matteo breathed in deeply. The nausea slowly faded from his stomach pit, the oxygen flew into his lungs more easily.

“I don’t even know if that person is real or if I have seen them before or even know them already, and I don’t care”, Luna continued. “I don’t care, because I don’t want someone else and you are not a puffer until I meet my soulmate. You’re not second best. This is my choice, and I choose you. Got it?”

In loss for words, he hugged her. (If you could hug a person you laid in bed with and they already were in your arms.) “I choose you too. Thank you.”

This time, when they kissed, she didn’t pull away. He did, but only to worship the soft skin of her neck.

“What are you doing?”, Luna asked, her voice hoarse now, an indistinct moan hidden in it.

“Nothing. But you might wanna use your scarf tomorrow.”

“Matteo!”

Of course, meeting Gastón by the rink the next day ended up in an awkward situation. For Luna, anyway. Her idiot boyfriend grinned so hard his mouth almost formed a circle.

“I see you’re wearing my scarf.” A satisfied smirk and wiggling eyebrows, always the wiggling eyebrows. “Nice.”

His closet was gigantic. Literally, and ridiculously gigantic, both Luna and all her clothes would fit into this monstrosity ten times. She never even imagined the possibility of someone owning a closet like that, except for Ámbar, of course.

How was she supposed to find a blanket in here?

“It’s somewhere in the lower drawers”, Matteo told her while he put his shirt back on.

When she opened the first drawer, she found no blanket.

She found something much better.

“I can’t believe you own hoodies”, she gasped, her mouth even formed this little ‘o’ but then, she snickered, “Or wear them.”

He muttered something that she failed to understand. Maybe some Italian curses? At least he showed no intention of stopping her, so she dug further. Between two dark blue hoodies, one piece of cotton looked weirdly familiar.

“Hey, I think I know this one! You wore it before, no?”

No answer.

Her brain sorted through her memory, in eager search for the right moment. It must’ve been months ago… Only after a few seconds passed did she remember. “Oh, I know, when you were skating with Gastón in the park and I ended up watching you!”

Matteo groaned. Although the first three buttons of his shirt weren’t closed yet, he shot forward to get the hoodie away from her.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so”, Luna laughed, the hoodie tightly pressed to her chest. “You can have it back when you answer me one question.”

“What question?” “You were so cranky that day, and I always wondered what was wrong.”

A pout unfolded on his face. “It’s embarrassing.”

When she simply waved the hoodie in front of him, he sighed. “I didn’t expect you to be there, and I hadn’t put any effort whatsoever into how I looked.”

For a second, she believed he was joking. Matteo always cared about how he looked, regardless of where or who he was with. Always. That was just a part of him, end of it.

But a soft – the softest pink – spread over his cheeks, and it blew away her doubt. She stood on her toes to press a kiss on his blush. “Aww, that’s really adorable.”

“Can I get my hoodie back now? And can you get this blanket, so we can go and pretend this never happened? Please?”

“No.” With a grin, Luna pulled the hoodie over her head. The cotton felt soft on her skin – whoever took care of the laundry surely used fabric softener – and when she buried her nose in it, it still gave off the scent of his perfume. (Or deo, Luna wasn’t sure.)

“I don’t need a blanket, I’ll just wear this.” It fit her like a blanket anyway. “Oh, and don’t forget these open buttons”, she added, chuckling. “No one wants to see you half-naked.”

Finally, this sparked a smirk on Matteo’s lips. “Didn’t seem like that earlier.”

Every word failed to grasp the color of the sunset in front of him. Not really pink, not really orange, only these vibrant last rays of the sun against the baby blue sky leaking through the clouds.

A beautiful sight, truly, still his gaze ended up stuck on Luna.

“Sure you don’t want a blanket?” he snickered as yet another shiver ran over her spine.

“I can use you as one”, she replied, robbing closer until her head rested on his chest and her hands sneaked between their bodies. He felt the coldness coming from her skin through his clothes. When he slightly shook his head at her, she only snuggled closer.

“But now you can’t see the stars.”

“I can look at you instead”, she whispered, “You are so beautiful.”

“Not as much as you are.”

In her eyes, he found a reflection of himself. The fondness in them rendered him speechless, it warmed his bones better than any tea or blanket ever could and it was all he could focus on in this moment.

A part of him continued to struggle, struggled to believe he deserved so much happiness. That he got to lay here, with her in his arms, and that things were perfectly fine, that they fit like a puzzle he’d been trying to solve his whole life. Luna’s words rang in his ears, resonating in his heart as well – I choose you.

They weren’t soulmates, but for the first time, the thought didn’t bother him. It didn’t awake any fears or doubts, it was nothing but a thought. And, compared to all the other beautiful ones she evoked, it crumbled into a minor, unimportant one.

“Don’t fall asleep, you hear me?” He let his hand run over her arm, carefully so he wouldn’t disturb her in case she already drifted away behind her closing eyes.

“Mh-hm”, she mumbled. Eventually, the movement of his chest bothered her enough to lift her head. “What?”

Another smile on his lips. She looked so adorable, and his heart calmly beat in his ribcage and he felt at home, like he belonged right here, like every other place he’d ever seen only existed to lead him to this moment, to her.

“Nothing. I’ve just been thinking.”

“You can do that?” She laughed and flipped his nose. He snorted, glad she couldn’t see the grin his mouth formed. “And what were you thinking?”, she wanted to know but before she gave him the chance to reply, she kissed him. Her hand cupped his cheek and when she pulled away, her eyes outshone the brightest of stars sparkling above their heads.

He knew with every fiber of his being that this was the perfect moment. The one golden opportunity.

“I’m in love with you, Luna.”

#soy luna #lutteo #my sl fanfiction #a sound so sweet of you and me #I love the chapter title bc it's the most accurate one ever #anyway I hope you enjoyed it :D

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elizabeatrice · 4 years ago

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Feeling Blue, Seeing Red (Chapter 69)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #5

Updated: 19/8/2020 (more thoughts)

Bea is back with the lame punny titles~

Warning: !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 69 !!! Duh.

Soooo I opened the raws this morning. Saw the spicy and went 'ohh shoot'. Then some of y'all say that some folks are hating Akane bc of this chap. I proceeded to panic, because fandom war is scary af. So I translated the chap for myself. And I just gotta say:

Aoi, Nene, your boyfriends are idiots. Y'all gonna be punching and headbutting the idiocy out of them for the rest of your lives and I'll be willing to pay for your karate classes.

The teen drama made me laugh so hard ahahahaha I guess this is what you get for hoping sensei will drop a bomb this month lmaoooo.

P.S. Teru you little shit

Man I don’t even know where to begin. This chapter is oozing doraaaaama and I can’t take it seriously no matter how much I try. I remember thinking, “Shoot, this is the ‘I hate you, I hate you too, proceed to make out’ trope in JSHK’s classic ‘oooh serious moment, eh? PSYCHE!’ style,” before bursting into laughter.

I swear I’m not making fun of it.

Because it’s already fun to begin with. Ahahahaha.

I do however, take seriously the long-awaited insight into Aoi’s mind. I hollered in joy, y’all. ‘Cause like ... finally!

(Also like ... ngl the development of Aoi and akaoi in this arc might come into play in my Shrek AU. Pls don’t ask. Yet. That’s not the official AU name I swear I just wanna confuse my readers ahahaha)

Back when chapter 64 came out I wrote something that was supposed to be the first of the Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga series but I ended up not posting it because I wasn’t sure about a bunch of things. Here’s an excerpt from that post, titled ‘Aoi and Her Blues’:

I mean, what did the minions do to her? ‘Remove unnecessary things’. Someone said they removed her inhibitions (I’m terribly sorry I forgot who said this because it’s been so long so I can’t put the link here, but if you know, feel free to send me the link).

But she has to be brainwashed, right?

She remembered enough about Nene. Enough to call her out on her feelings (that she still denies btw lol) and recognize Hanako from Nene’s wonderful description (or because Aoi could see him all this time and never said anything, who knows?).

Most importantly, she remembered Akane.

So apparently they weren’t unnecessary enough to be erased from her memory. Which I’d beg to differ if I were going to make this girl willingly sacrifice herself.

Would she let her best friend fall down into a pit full of giant insects, or let her childhood friend get impaled? I mean this is the same girl that cried when Akane and Yamabuki got together (by accident) and when Nene started talking to herself like a madwoman.

So yeah. Definitely brainwashed. Pretty sure now.

The one thing that bugged me is what she said though.

“I’ve always wanted to go somewhere far away.”

“Nothing will stop me from getting my wish.”

Btw these aren’t accurate word for word I’m just drawing from memory.

Is that a wish forced upon her by the brainwashing, or has Aoi been depressed all this time and ... y’know, therefore thought about ‘going far away’? I’m personally leaning more towards the first, but it still got me thinking.

Remember back in The Clock Keeper arc when she said there was something she wanted to tell Nene?

Can some creepy hands showing up in the gardening club’s album photos really warrant that kind of expression? Is it just me who got disappointed when the thing she wanted to tell Nene ended up being just that?

But if she did have such thoughts, why?

Maybe she was lonely? I mean Nene got so busy with supernatural shenanigans. Akane’s busy with student council stuff (and school wonder stuff). Though I don’t doubt for a second that he’d drop everything for Aoi, but Aoi’s not the kind of person to do that. And to be honest, I feel like so far Aoi hasn’t been shown having genuine interaction with anyone aside from Nene and Yamabuki without the other person being completely enamored by her. And even with Yamabuki that was just in that After School chapter.

So I guess my hunch wasn’t that far off. Still though. Still though. Is she or is she not brainwashed? Because as much as Aoi likes-but hates-but actually kinda likes Akane, I still don’t think she’s the type of person to stab her childhood friend until he’s got a hole through his fucking torso.

Throwing Nene into the bug pit I guess makes more sense if Aoi knew all along that the pit won’t lead anywhere too dangerous, and that Hanako wouldn’t leave Nene’s side. Nene’s perfectly safe with him. Sorta. She did get kidnapped and were about to be sacrificed after all. But heeey Hanako still showed up to save her in the end.

Stabbing Akane like that tho? Even if she knows he wouldn’t die in a boundary especially in his school wonder form? It just doesn’t feel like Aoi, man.

Then again she did say no one really knows her, and that anyone who does would end up being disappointed in her.

I’m really happy to know that she does not, in fact, appreciate all the attention given to her. Comedy framing aside, constantly having some random guy approach you to ask you out presumably every day is ... annoying at best. Kid deserves better.

So ya girl got some extreme trust issues. Strangers, even Akane and Nene, I could understand. But her dad tho? Is something going on in the Akane household? Bruh ....

How long has Aoi not been able to trust anyone enough to let them get close to her? Because if she’s been feeling like that about Nene all this time, Imma be super sad bruh. Nene is one of the most genuine kids ever (perhaps only second to Kou).

I understand that Aoi’s disappointed because Nene’s been keeping secrets, but honestly, who would believe you if you come up to them and say, “Hey so I summoned a toilet ghost and now I’m stuck as his assistant. The rumors about supernaturals are like, totally real, and can endanger everyone in this school for real, too. Also I turn into fish when I come in contact with water.”

Sensible best friends would either a) not believe you, or b) try to get you as far away from supernatural shit as possible ‘cause hello? Ya ain’t Miles Morales ya can’t just blast What’s Up Danger when monster of the week shows up.

Even if Aoi does let it continue, wouldn’t she wanna get involved? Would Nene let her get involved when Tsukasa’s still around? Ya girl got cursed, thrown off the top of a boundary, sent to literally nowhere and everywhere, almost got her body stolen by mirror monsters, kidnapped and taken into a fake world, and now trapped in literal Grim Reaper’s realm. Honestly, who would involve their best friend in this sort of shit?

It just makes me sad to think that all this time Akane and Nene have genuinely cared about her but she didn’t think they were. Aoi, my girl Nene literally threaded hell boundaries and high shallow water to save you!!!

Unrequited platonic love hurts just as much as romantic ones, y’all ....

Speaking of romantic love.

Hey, uh, Akane. For claiming to despise Hanako and calling him a slimy pervert, y’all kinda act the same way with your respective girlfriends when things get a bit heated up, huh? Even the teasing part.

Boy, you’re dumb af. You deserve that.

There it is y’all, it’s official. We got punches for akaoi and headbutts for hananene.

You deserve this too. But Teru’s face here is really annoying, I’ll give you that. Teru you little shit.

At least you’re finally gonna be useful. Let’s just see.

Hmm I guess I have to address the thing now.

Ahem. The thing. The pushing (pulling?) Aoi down, grabbing her neck thing.

Yeah I don’t get it either. Whether it was a creative choice taken in consideration to the actual character’s state or to just pander to the trope that seems to be marketable in Japan or both, I don’t really know.

I do however, have to remind you that none of these kids are in their right mind. One is possibly still recovering from the effects of brainwashing and dealing with not only extreme trust issues and insecurities, but also the sight of a gaping hole on her childhood friend and perhaps crush’s torso, not to mention having to deal with this in the middle of nowhere. The other one is the said person with a gaping hole on his torso, who almost lost his life-long crush, and even got stabbed by her in the first place.

They’re lost. They’re tired. They’re emotional. They’re frustrated. They’re two hormonal teens.

I think Akane thought Aoi wouldn’t listen to him unless he makes her. Which is why he went with exposing her by saying he hated her. Which is still a dumb move in my opinion. But Aoi rightfully got back at him. And honestly I didn’t think he really hurt her. I mean, it’s Akane after all. *shrugs*

The way I see it, the entire thing was a result from not only their current condition but also the uh ... not telling each other how they really feel all this time. Aoi with her issues, Akane with his secrets. They’re a ticking bomb. It’s horrible that they ended up hurting each other because of this (physically and emotionally), but I could see why it went like this. These two are flawed. Most importantly, they’re teenagers. They’re bound to fuck up in this equation.

Heck, I’ve fucked up worse in less endangering situations before.

But heeey once things get cleared between them they fall right back to each other. Sure things aren’t entirely resolved. But they’re gonna be okay. Teru’s there. Should be fine. Probably.

The thing is we as the audience who come into the story with a clear head can easily figure out the best, most sensible way to deal with the characters’ problems. But these problems affect the characters in (physical, physiological, psychological, emotional) ways most of us can’t immediately empathize with, which can make their bad decisions frustrating for us to see. We know it’s wrong. And when these characters have calmed down and healed, they’ll know that it’s wrong, too. If they’re not dicks, that is.

You know how it feels when you’re fighting with someone, and you know the best thing to do is to talk it out, but you just can’t bring yourself to? It makes things worse, right? And you’re frustrated, right? Unfortunately that’s just how humans are.

Even I let my emotions get the best of me when I judged the villagers’ actions back in chapter 68 hahaha (but I still think they’re awful).

It’s just my opinion tho.

And whooo everyone is officially here but Yamabuki (and Sakura and Tsukasa, but they’re bound to show up)! Catch up soon, my citrus child.

Lastly, I have the moral obligation to remind you that if akaoi’s confrontation ended up like this, imagine how hananene’s would be.

I’ll leave you to your deductions.

As always, feel free to discuss. Just ... don’t fight, onegaishimasu.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk manga spoilers #tbhk manga spoilers #aoi akane #akane aoi #minamoto teru #yashiro nene #let's talk about jshk manga #bea rambles #just in case it's not clear i'm not supporting physical abuse okay #i have really morbid sense of humor #and i still love my sons no matter how idiotic they are #i do tho pity my daughters #(this is about the karate class comment at the beginning btw)

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azoraahai · 5 years ago

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alrighty i was tagged by my fav bb @emiliachrstine so here it goes!

author name

joey: https://www.fanfiction.net/~elctraheart

fandoms you write for

mostly marvel, but spn, dceu, and other fandoms.

where you post?

ff.net and wattpad ( under electraheart- and whittymores )

most popular multi-chapter story

Death Ringer - my steve rogers x oc fic that’s a part of my series which can be read here ( wp ) and here ( ff.net )

favorite story you wrote

definitely death ringer since it’s the only fucking story that has more than one chapter lolz

story you were nervous to post

lowlife since it deals with topics i never had to deal with such as addiction, really messed up relationships, and other stuff. it’s definitely hard to write for it because i’m constantly researching and asking mutuals for advice on how to portray it as accurately as i can.

how do you pick your titles?

by using song titles 99.9% of the time.

do you outline?

for some things, yes. i have chapters planned for certain things, but i don’t write out every single thing i want for each chapter. i try to plan it as best as i can, but i’m not afraid to go with the flow for other stuff.

how many of your stories are complete?

lol define complete.

in progress?

death ringer.

coming soon?

all of the above lol i suck at juggling stories

do you accept prompts?

i’M TERRIBLE at doing them bc..... pressure.... but some stuff i’ll write if i know it’ll most likely fit with my canon ideas.

upcoming story you’re most excited for?

tbh, i fucking love writing for dom so i’m excited for act 5 and 6 ( iw and ae ) since we get to see dom being the most badass she’s ever been like i love it.

tag 5 authors to answer these questions:

okay okay so @httpscoot @freakingbradleys @fleetwoodmcs @scm-wilson and @peterparcour

#this was supposed to be posted forever ago whoops!#but anyways feel free to ignore this #thanks emilia for tagging me #tagged 💫#joey talks

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blue-dream-rhapsody · 6 years ago

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kugo-centric brave souls CFYOW campaign screaming

bc like what do you guys expect from me at this point

So with the first part of the campaign coming out in brave souls, likely more or less serving as the “official” translation, we’ve already got some interesting bits, both new things I’ve noticed and variances from the fan translations we’ve gotten so far (huge credit to missstormcaller for her work!! what’s been put out, she’s already translated wonderfully)

[any differences I point out between Brave Souls and fan translations are NOT criticisms/insults to the fan translators’ efforts. The BBS team likely has access to the original intentions of any line they put in, which means they could know for sure if they were presenting lines accurately. BBS also cuts text and minor scenes, so while it’s good for getting the basics across, there is also a lot of nuance that it will miss. Even if you play Brave Souls, read the fan translations. They’re much more in-depth.]

-oh real quick, Aizen at the start was interesting, when he talks about Tosen with Hisagi. Because there’s far less of his usual derision or condescension when he talks about Tosen. And even though what he says is incendiary to Hisagi by its very nature, his intention doesn’t come across as goading so much as a sign of respect. At first I thought I might’ve been seeing things differently without surrounding context and nuance (since BBS doesn’t describe things like facial expression or tone and uses stock expressions). But one of the very last chapters of the actual novel actually confirms this—Tosen held a genuinely special place in Aizen’s esteem, and was the only person he could ever confide in even remotely (like, keep in mind who we’re talking about here). He calls killing him an act of mercy not because it’ll get under Hisagi’s skin, but because that’s truly what it was, particularly in the mind of Tosen himself. It doesn’t make Aizen anything close to an uwu innocent babby but what it does do is make a character with no attachment to anything infinitely more interesting. After all, what fun is a stagnant god?

-And about the event story, it seems like Grimmjow and Nel’s second stages were supposed to be drawn out by Aura? Tokinada talks about her “puppets” being effective, and while she had a part in Hikone’s creation I think Hikone acts on their own here and isn’t being strung by her, so I don’t think they’re the puppet. Don’t know if I’m misunderstanding it, and if I’m not I don’t know if this implies the other Espada’s second stages will be her doing, too. And maybe she’s not drawing out the power itself and is just making them appear and disappear, and the Kyogoku/Valley of Screams makes them go into second stage somehow. (or it’s just an event story and means absolutely nothing??)

-Kukaku just casually called Shuhei’s eyes handsome and idk why that’s so funny to me

-Okay yeah there’s this thing, which could have some implications depending. The fan translations have Shuhei say he heard Kugo didn’t go to Hell, but Brave Souls has him say he’d heard Kugo had escaped from Hell. And uh, big difference. Like listen I love my boy but even I don’t think he’s powerful enough to rip himself out of HELL and crawl back to the Soul Society. It’s not that I don’t think there was reason enough to send him there, but I had always been under the impression that he had been spared from it deliberately, thanks to Ichigo and/or Ukitake (or perhaps Hell’s Sinner Detector™ knowing how fucked over he was and just not taking him).

-You know thinking about it, Shuhei does call this a rumor. And there are a metric fuckton of Soul Reapers who would be pretty pissed off if they found out Kugo Ginjo, Soul Reaper Hunter, was just hangin’ out in Rukongai. They’d probably go nuts trying to kill him, and tear down Kukaku’s house in the process. I wouldn’t be surprised Kugo’s identity and presence in the Soul Society has been kept very secret among a few Captains (at the very least Yamamoto, Kyoraku and Ukitake, and Kurotsuchi who can find out fucking anything), or at the whole Captain level. Everybody else who asks just gets told he’s in Hell where he belongs. There was probably a sighting at some point which started rumors he got out.

-“Shu... Shu... SHOOT, IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH LIEUTENANT?” Ganju stop covering your tracks it’s okay we know you forgot

-Ganju says he won’t allow bad blood between Soul Reapers and the Shiba family (not “friends of”) and thereby kind of implies that the Fullbringers are members of the Shiba family. Kukaku says she accepts Kugo and co. for who they are, and calls him “our freeloader” (not “the”). Considering Kugo’s apparent lifelong lack of a place to belong, this little kind of thing hits me dead in the kokoro.

-It also sounds like Kugo makes a differentiation between a half Soul Reaper and a Substitute Soul Reaper, the first being a “biological” state one is born with and the second meaning someone given Soul Reaper powers while alive. This would mean Substitute and Deputy aren’t interchangeable: “deputy” is solely a rank for a sanctioned non-pure Soul Reaper, and they have to either be half or Substitute before they can have the “deputy” title. Both Ichigo and Kugo became Deputies specifically when they were given official passes. Kugo seems to say he was always a Substitute, as in someone given Soul Reaper powers while alive, whereas Ichigo’s Substitute powers were cut off by Byakuya early in the series and the ones he then regains are entirely his own from his father’s ancestry. So between his first Hollowfication and his getting the badge, Ichigo was neither a Substitute nor a Deputy. He was a half (or third or quarter or however it works out), and remains as much through the end with his Deputy status tacked on. (And presumably Kugo has lost his Deputy status, but I’m fairly certain he still remains a Substitute.)

-Use of the word “friends” instead of “comrades” or “allies” makes the masscre story sting worse. I consider this permission to use it in all my commentary now and spread the pain.

-Also, he makes it sound like they were killed by more than one Soul Reaper. Meaning he could’ve been outnumbered when they attacked, or they might’ve been scattered around targeting Fullbringers and he was only able to catch up to the one that he killed. Like, thanks! I hate it!

-Here he seems to say he learned about the pass at the point this happened, as opposed to figuring it out before and then surmising that that was how he was found. Literally I just wrote a part about this, why do you gotta play me this way.

-I should’ve realized this like forever ago but HE SAYS UKITAKE DIDN’T TRUST HIM FROM THE BEGINNING. BUT HE’S GONNA FIND OUT HE TRUSTED HIM LONGER THAN ANYBODY. KILL ME.

-Also oof, “But aside from me, why did my Fullbringer friends have to die, too?” Like, implying if he had to be killed because they didn’t trust him, then fine. Plus he was willing to die killing Ukitake if that’s what it took—because it’s not about himself, or him winning, or him being more powerful. It’s purely retribution for the lives taken, whatever the personal cost. You look me in the eyes and tell me this isn’t a man with a lot of guilt inside him.

-I’m mad they didn’t have Kugo and Shu’s little exchange (or Ganju and Kukaku’s) after Hisagi leaves, since there were like five story-free chapters while Shuhei bikes back to the barracks that they could’ve put something into. but fine I get it I know that’s not why most people are here it’s fine

-but you know what I do appreciate? They really kept true to Giriko’s role in this adaptation, very carefully portrayed him with as much weight as he has in the proper novel. I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing where he’s concerned. So yeah if you need me I’ll be over here bleeding out in the corner

#bleach #bleach brave souls #can't fear your own world #ginjou kuugo #im hoping thisll be the longest one #except maybe for the reveal toward the climax #BUT YALL KNOW ME RIP

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pumpkins-s · 6 years ago

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4-7, 11, 12, 14, 15 for SLAOS!! ((I love SLAOS and will always wait patiently for the next update

aaaaa sorry I didn’t get to this sooner!! I’ve had a really long week that was Really Awful in some parts, and just Plain Ol’ Busy in every other part. But thank you for sending this ask! It was fun to talk about SLAOS. It’s been a while.

Fanfic Ask Meme:

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

It’s technically a dialogue exchange, but I still love “Promise me you’ll never leave.” “Never love, never.”

5: What part was hardest to write?

Oh!! The Lance & Hunk conversation in Chap.10 -- “Listen (Learn)” -- it was a Bitch to write. I really love Lance and Hunk’s dynamic, but because canon gave us a tragic pittance of scenes where they interacted one-on-one in a truly serious manner, trying to characterize them in such an important, serious conversation was difficult.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Hhh...Hmm. I think what’s special to me about SLAOS is that it’s so independent from the canon source. I don’t love it because of Voltron, I love it because of the McClains, because of my version of Lance. Of the fanfics I’ve actually written, it’s the only one I’ve considered (heck, pretty much decided at this point...?) adapting to an original story.

7: Where did the title come from?

Lol I thought most everyone knew this... The title is a line from Halsey’s Colors, which is the song that originally inspired SLAOS! For me it’s an almost perfect representation of the story, and of the characters. There’s plenty of lines I associate with certain characters, (For example, if I ever wrote a Mavis-centric spin-off fic, it’d be called “Never Be Forgiven (Til’ Your Boys Are Too”) but for me “Spilling Like An Overflowing Sink” was the easy choice when it came to titling the story itself, and all it entails.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

How the time span shapes character dynamics! It’s super fun and interesting to explore Lance’s life and how it changes over the span of a near decade, and how that impacts his relationships. There’s so many different sides to Lance, and each character -- from his mother, to Hunk, to Ritzie, to Mavis, to any of his sisters, and of course to Loraine -- brings out a different part of him. I love working with that. I love how things change.

12: What do you like least about this fic?

Phew.... This is more of a love/hate thing, but how complicated I allowed the story to become, because it made it so much more of a burden to write. The original version of SLAOS was meant to be 35k and seven chapters! Now I estimate, if I managed to do it properly, as intended, and finish it, I’d be in the 120-150k mark...

At the same time, though, that change is so much fun. I never pictured what this story would become when I started it, and that shows in the story description alone (I actually once wrote a more “accurate”/updated version of the description, once, but never put it out there bc my ex didn’t like it haha...)

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Mmmm...Family is complicated. Family is complicated, everyone has a story, your past does not have to define you, the love of your life can come in many forms, and the world will try to tell you who you are -- but you should never let it. That choice is yours.

And that, sometimes, the things we lose have a way of coming back to us, even if not how we expect them to.

And we can be broken, so many times. But, with love and with time, we can always be put back together. A little damaged, maybe. A little dented, or with chips, but always able to be put back together.Always.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Sometimes the story you think you’re going to tell isn’t the one you need to tell. Sometimes you will learn what actually needs to be said (written) as you go along.

#SLAOS talk #ask meme #thank you for this really #it was so nice to think and talk about SLAOS #I know it seems like I abandoned it #but I treasure that story #I really do #and I hope things will work out that i'll manage to finish it one day #preferably sooner rather than later?#Anonymous #asks #questions for Nik

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starspatter · 6 years ago

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WIP Challenge

Tagged by: @summertime-children

Tagging: @astrologista, @atsushishelteredinmoonlitjasmine, @benditlikegumby, @cryptoriawebb, @ibmiller, @iceperialprincess, and @otherwise-uncolonized

Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I'll also do what deta did and post comments + short fragments. (Be warned it'll be very long though, and most of these are actually Pokémon fics since I was a much more prolific writer when I was younger, and that was the fandom I wrote mainly for.) I also won't be including "Heroes and Thieves" on here (or any DC/superhero stuff really since I’ve essentially “done” everything I had planned for now), as *technically* it is all already completed in draft form, and I'd like to keep things a surprise for whenever I do end up posting~

Hero and Seek

“Well, we’re all together now, so let’s have some fun, all right? Don’t worry, it’s really simple. One person is the ‘demon’, and the others have to hide from him.” “Eh? A ‘demon’? But that’s scary!” Three pairs of eyes turned up to her in fear. Those eyes, which screamed and streamed the stark color of blood the first time she saw them – not just from tears, but from the ‘monster’ they believed dwelled deep within. She thought for a moment, then removed her scarf. “How about this then? Whoever’s the ‘hero’ has to find and rescue the others. It’s a very important Blindfold Brigade mission!”

I’ll start with the one Kagepro fic I did attempt at least, which I described previously here, but is basically about Ayano + the Meka Trio playing “Hide and Seek” for the first time. (I actually had it originally titled as that but just came up with this new version on the spot lol I’m so clever~) For some reason I’ve always been hesitant about reading/writing Kagefic, but I actually got a fair bit farther in this than I thought, so perhaps I should try to finish it someday... Princes and Frogs

“K-Koizumi-senpai… Um… Please go out with me!” Itsuki stared down at the tiny underclassman, watching a rose mantle spread slowly over her cheeks as she gazed back with shy, but determined hope in her bespectacled eyes. The older boy could make out his own handsome face reflected off the lens, a virtual image embellished by sparkling hearts and stars. With dim satisfaction and relief, Itsuki ensured that his bright, patient smile betrayed no hint of the weary sigh that whispered behind it.

This is an intro excerpt of the first chapter I planned to write for an ItsuHaru fic from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, which I only ever posted the prologue for. ItsuHaru was my first obsessive OTP, and I still think about returning to this story someday (especially since I have now proven to myself I *can* finish a full chapter fic if I put my mind to it), but it’s been so long I feel like I’d need to refresh my memory of the whole series/am still holding out hope for a Season 3 to motivate me again. *shot*

Fall to Pieces

As Itsuki stared at Yuki’s vacant visage, his resentment kept building. His hands clenched, rigidly gripping the edge of the table. Somehow, it just didn’t seem fair. That she could so easily ignore the madness fate had dealt them, never reveal any signs of suffering or bitterness towards her situation, and yet always, always wear the same damn expression on her face. How could she possibly stand it? He can’t stand it. (any more)

An ItsuYuki one-shot, where Itsuki basically blows up at her from pent-up frustration over having to wear a mask all the time and his hidden feelings for Haruhi. The two start to form a connection over their respective “unrequited loves”/understanding of each other’s pain, and one thing leads to another... Like “Heroes and Thieves”, this is in fact technically “complete”, since I actually used the leftover steam from the former towards finishing at least one thing I started a long time ago - although I’m still not sure I’m totally satisfied with it/kinda want to wait to figure out what I’m doing with my other ItsuHaru fics before I publish it by itself. (Incidentally the working title comes from an Avril Lavigne song lol.)

Little White Lies

“Perhaps the best thing for the princess would have been to fall in love. But how a princess who had no gravity could fall into anything is a difficulty--perhaps the difficulty.” -George MacDonald, The Light Princess - Haruhi Suzumiya was walking on air. Itsuki could tell by the way she glided into the clubroom, sailing like a paper airplane – or a balloon with an inflated ego to match.

...Yeah that’s as far as I got with this. This was meant to be a “White Day” story, which is Japan’s “answer holiday” to Valentine’s Day, where guys reciprocate by giving gifts to the girls who gave them chocolates. I always wondered how the boys actually responded in-universe, and I imagine Itsuki secretly stressing out a lot about taking care to not upstage Kyon, but at the same time wanting to sincerely express his genuine appreciation and feelings towards Haruhi - whatever they may be. In the end, he settles on a copy of “The Light Princess” by George MacDonald, which I highly recommend reading since it reminds me so much of this pair, and in general is such a fun and snappy “tongue-in-cheek” take on the fairytale genre. Sora in Wonderland

But wait- this one was a bit different from all its brothers and sisters. For one thing, it was wearing a fancy waistcoat with pockets- and sleeves that were far too long for it. As soon as it passed by her head, it stopped and slowly turned its head around to stare directly at her with its huge circular yellow eyes. Sora stared vacantly back for a full five seconds before the information registered in her brain and she suddenly yelled, “Hey!”, and sat bolt upright. The Heartless panicked upon hearing her voice and fled at top speed across the white sands, headed towards an opening in the rocks; Sora jumped down off her perch and immediately chased after it, no longer caring about the heat. The Heartless hastily disappeared inside the cave, and Sora soon followed after, determined to catch the freaky little thing and ask it some questions, like what it was doing on the island at this time, and where on earth did it get a waistcoat.

OKAY SO I TOTALLY FORGOT THIS WAS A THING but apparently I tried to write a Kingdom Hearts parody of “Alice in Wonderland” lmao. I’ve never actually played the games (aside from half of CoM), but it was probably inspired by a crossover art my friend drew? ^^; Also Sora is a girl in this bc that’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. XP *shot* Note: The following fics are all Pokémon-related so I’ll just be listing them in roughly chronological order (from most recent to ancient, although they’re all pretty old at this point). Stranger

The elder slowly rose to his feet, gazing at the boy, the champion, the stranger. “In all this time, why didn’t you come back? You could have seen for yourself how she was.” Lance wanted to yell something defiant, like a child. But he wasn’t a child. Children were forgiven for their mistakes. And he didn’t want to be forgiven. The professor’s ancient hand came to rest on the boy’s shoulder. “It’s the way this town works. We don’t talk about things that happen outside our own world. Maybe it was too long ago – too late for you to understand.” Lance didn’t say anything. “At least talk to Delia. She’s been wanting to see you.” “Sorry. It’s too late.” “You’re a bastard.” “I know.”

So this looks to be among the last things I’d written before taking a long break from fanfiction circa... 2007, jeeze. Over 10 years, huh. But, I think it speaks a certain amount of maturity that it’s the piece I liked most upon rediscovering. It’s based on an idea I once had that Lance was (unknowingly) Gary Oak’s father, and he was friends/rivals with Ash’s father, who originally won the title of Champion but relinquished it so he could be with his “wife” and kid (or rather, then-pregnant teenage girlfriend). *Something* happened though (I forget what I had in mind) and he ended up dying, leaving Lance bitter and depressed so he refused to return to Pallet Town because of too many painful memories. (Though he *cough* “comforted” their other female childhood friend for one night of drunken grief before he left. ;() What I like most about it honestly is the parallels bw Lance’s relationship with Ash’s dad and their sons’, and that amidst all the angst I enjoyed portraying the earnest energy and optimism of Ketchum(?) senior (”like father like son” after all). I was definitely inspired by Mitsuki’s father in Full Moon wo Sagashite/Maes Hughes from Fullmetal Alchemist by making him a total “dork dad” who’d brag about his (illegitimate) family on national TV during the championship tournament lol.

Ihavenoidea

Either way, I get the feeling this really wasn’t what I had in mind when I made my decision to quit training. I mean that in an intuitive sort of way. Like, sometimes I feel as if I’m not meant to be here, like my life should have ended up differently someplace else. Perhaps this is just one of those weird inconsistencies I told you about. Perhaps not. Even after all that’s happened to me recently, I still can’t really be sure about it.

...No seriously, I have no idea where I was going with this. As far as I can tell it’s written from the POV of Gary Oak, whom I’ve always had a lot of... “complicated” feelings towards. It probably has something to do with another concept I’ll discuss next, although for some reason it sounds like I was going for some sort of AU? *shrug* By contrast to the above, it reads like a whiny teenager complaining about his life - which makes me cringe but is probably an accurate portrayal of who I was at the time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This one was actually dated a little after the previous, so my best guess is it was some kind of vent rant where I would “give up” writing/creating and “childish” ideals for a while, as I was wont to do - but I still always come back to it somehow... RainbowMolly

Molly stepped out from the car and onto the dusty road, her heart beating wildly. She could hardly believe she was actually here, of all places. The ride had been long and mind-numbing with anticipation, and now that they’d finally arrived at the destination, it all felt somewhat surreal to her. A small bear clambered out from the vehicle, joining her as she stopped to take in the rustic view that met her bright blue eyes. She smiled and picked up her Teddiursa, cuddling its warm, fuzzy body close to her own. Her gaze traveled down the road which stretched in both directions, houses lining up against its margins. She followed it with her eyes towards a hill in the distance, on top of which sat what looked like a quaint little farmhouse with a windmill, turning in the summer breeze. She breathed in the country air, catching whiff of a faint salt smell from an ocean in the distance. So this was Pallet Town.

...Why I didn’t actually name the file “Chasing Rainbows” - which was the title I had planned for this - I don’t know. This dates back to an old idea I had where I believed Molly Hale from the third Pokémon movie was secretly the true “God” of the Pokémon world - in the sense that the entire universe was an unknowing fantasy of her own creation, similar to Haruhi Suzumiya (ok fine this was totally a crossover/rip-off of the same concept so sue me OTL). In a place where children never seem to grow up and can go on grand fantastical adventures forever, Gary always struck me as an anomaly who willingly *chose* to forego such a life to pursue more “adult” interests by becoming a researcher. So I saw him as filling the role of “Kyon” - the cynical narrator who was destined to ground “God” and bring her back down to earth, but at the same time be won over by her innocence and charm and learn to appreciate “kids’ stuff” again. However, the Legendaries were actually aware of the power Molly holds, and so saw Gary as a threat to their very being - as by “waking” the dreamer and having her face reality meant erasing their kinds’ entire existence. As the “apocalypse” nearly occurred in the third film, Mew and Celebi took on human disguises (in the form of May and Max respectively) to investigate Ash, who was able to calm Molly and “save” the world by “perpetuating” the delusion (and whom Molly totally has a crush on btw *shot*). So it’s a bit of a love triangle lol, with Mew and Celebi (*cough* an alien and a time traveler, get it? *shot*) acting as mediators/interference. (Although Mew might’ve secretly shipped Gary and Molly herself. ;O)

Betrayal

And these blades, these damned scythes that attached themselves to my arms when I was born, a curse upon me since birth, though it had not been apparent up until now. They were covered with blood, the vital crimson liquid that flows through our bodies, now dripping down the steel surface in a webbed pattern, drops beginning to splatter the pure, emerald grass below. The arm felt heavy and weak as I tried to lift it, as if it did not belong to me, but that was only a wishful thought. I gazed calmly at it, inspecting the intricate designs the flow of the substance had created, as if it were an abstract piece of artwork. Tentatively, a pink tongue rolled out and caught a small droplet of it just before it fell from the sharp edge, just to convince myself that it was real. The semi-sweet, metallic taste confirmed this. I had indeed taken these men’s lives, just as I had taken hers.

So I remember this was written from the POV of a Scyther who seemingly went on a murderous rampage. I only know that I wanted to give him an “Edward Scissorhands”-like story, since the idea of having such sharp objects attached to one’s limbs so that one could never directly “touch” another without being a danger is pretty tragic. I suspect “her” was someone (a human?) he cared about but killed by accident, and after that he was only seen as a symbol of power/treated as a tool to incite fear before eventually rebelling against his “master”... Roses

“If you love someone, you should give them something that’s yours. That shows how much you care for them.” In the darkness, I pictured his smiling face, explaining to me as he wrapped a present for his girlfriend. His blue eyes were shining with a sort of spirit unfamiliar to me; I guessed, a feeling of love.

Another “dark” take on a Pokémon’s biology (I really liked writing explorations of those back then lol), this time of Roselia. The idea was that a Roselia was so in love with her trainer that she would do anything for him - including allow him to cut off her arms so he could give them to his girlfriend. I actually ended up turning it into a poem at one point:

Love is like a rose they say, And affection leads to grief they warned. For in the end love betrays, Its Beauty maimed by a poisoned thorn. You gave me pure water with a smile. Your cheerful face became my sun. I offered up my blood to you, And in return demanded none. Chop off my wrists, and tie them together. I’ll gladly bleed myself to death. In order to give you that which I hold most dear. My dear, my dear, Won’t you accept this bouquet? You take it, smiling warily. A blush creeps onto your face. And in those eyes I can see A garden of roses stretched out, Composing a wondrous place. Then you bound my hands in lace, And brought them to the girl next door. You presented them to her with grace. … My blood continued to pour.

Fanfic

She smiled at me, although something about her expression indicated something wasn't quite right. I watched as she glanced over towards the west, her gaze lingering momentarily on the setting sun. The glowing, orange sphere was slowly sinking behind the distant mountains, peaks cloaked in a pale, lavender haze illuminated by flickering beams of gold and scarlet cast across the horizon.

More accurately, I found this buried in a “catch-all” file where I had several (mostly finished) fics saved. This was meant to be from the POV of an Eevee who had just evolved - supposedly into an Espeon due to happiness and bond with her trainer, which is what both wanted. However, since it took place at sunset, she didn’t realize she had become an Umbreon instead, and her trainer ended up abandoning her for it. ;( It was a warm

Children’s shrieks and laughter echoed across the park as they flocked towards each other, and soon were chasing one another round the playground, weaving in and out between the swings as they partook in an innocent game of Tag. One child was It; she was trying desperately to catch one of her friends so that they would take over the job instead. Then it would be her turn to run away, for none of them wished to play the loathsome role of It. Or was it because they feared being tainted by the person’s touch? It must have been one of the two, for while she would struggle to reach them, catch hold of them, they would only flee, thoroughly enjoying the fact that they were vexing her. Twice she nearly caught one. Her fingertips were almost within reach of one of the other girls’ dresses, whose russet tresses were flowing wildly from the rush of movement and shining with golden highlights as the rays of the sun struck individual strands. The target shrieked and shook her head, whisking her skirt free in time to escape capture, laughing with glee at the sight of the girl left behind, miserable and alone.

Yeah I totally just went with the default beginning of the first sentence lol. I guess this comes full circle with the first Kagepro fic I mentioned (although I’m not even sure I was aware back then that the Japanese version of the game literally called “It” a “demon”, which is even more fitting). I believe this was part of a Pokémon series I was writing involving a creepy little girl and Mewtwo who would bring about the end of the world or something like that, but generally I guess I was just going for a “Catcher in the Rye” feel. *shrug* Golden Lights

The pale, rosy fingers of dawn were filtering in through the Granite Cave entrance, basking a small area near the opening in pinkish illumination. Just out of reach of its expanse sat little Mika, huddled in the gloom of the shadows, watching the light creep steadily towards her as the glowing ball of fire rose slowly towards the East. She knew about the Light that came from Outside. There were plenty other small apertures broken into the cavern walls and ceiling that allowed some thin streams of gold brilliance to trickle through. She had always done well to avoid them. The brightness was like poison to her skin. But they weren’t the Lights she’d had described to her by the old Crobat that always resided now deeper within the underground chambers, dozing now, most likely. He wouldn’t awaken until night came round, and she did not wish to rouse him and perhaps disturb him from a pleasant dream. She was very wise about things like that, being the young child that she was. Still, she would have liked to hear a story to comfort her just then.

Last one I could find, about a Sableye who, like Icarus, literally “flew too close to the sun”. In this interpretation I imagined that Sableye were creatures who could not stand sunlight at all, as it would cause their skin to burn. But Mika (pronounced like “Mica”) always dreamed of going outside to see the “Light” anyway. She was eventually tempted by Mew to leave the cavern under her angelic PROTECTion and step into the Light, who was acting as Ho-Oh’s messenger to “recruit” souls to “live eternal as an element of Ho-Oh’s Guarding Flame“, as the PROTECT faded and a “holy fire” began to spread. I guess I was going for a Biblical/”Rapture”-esque reference. (...Man I sure was obsessed with the endtimes as a kid. *shot*)

#Kagerou Project #Tateyama Ayano #Mekakushi Trio #Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu #ItsuHaru #ItsuYuki #Pokemon #Gary Oak #Molly Hale #fanfiction #starstories #astrologista #atsushishelteredinmoonlitjasmine #benditlikegumby #cryptoriawebb #ibmiller #iceperialprincess #otherwise uncolonized

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girl-with-a-quill · 6 years ago

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CHAPTER 7 Notes-The Journey To Us

These are the notes for Chapter 7, chapter that you can find here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8273341/chapters/37275146

NAME ORIGINS (with a side of head canons):

Ife: a name common in Ethiopia, meaning ‘Love’

Halima: A name with Arabic roots that means ‘gentle and humane’. Halima is part of the Omo tribe, within the Boudalan, who descended from the Ethiopian contingent. They adopted part of the traditional clothes the real-life Hamer tribe from the Omo River valley, since this is what the performers trapped with them were using. Halima doesn’t know, but she is a direct descendant of the kind Captain Ife Salim, whose name was later used as a title for the advisor and ‘second’ of the Gen. The Ife’s main function is to remind the Gen of the core values of their people when she has to make hard decisions, particularly those relating to fairness and solidarity.

Faizah: A name with Arabic roots that means ‘victorious’. The current Gen was fierce since she was a child and is considered a mighty warrior who has won many battles.

Nuru: An Ethiopian name that means ‘born during the day’, but in this iteration of my made up ndeshonasleng it means more like ‘the awakened one’. Like all Blinkas who inherit the strange extra-sensorial perception abilities passed down from the group that came out of a lab in Delphi (chapter 6), she had the milky film on her eyes when she was born, so her mother named her accordingly. Her father was from the MasMas tribe (descendants of the Maasai dancers and the Kenyan contingent) and her mother was Ndeshona (the Zimbabweans), so she wears the blue and yellow colors of her mothers’ tribe (that Ndebele women still use today).

Nyanga: what spiritual healers are called by the Zulu. In Zimbabwe, the Shona call them N’anga, but it’s pronounced similarly. Nuru is the Blinka of the Boudalan and was trained as such just like Sybil, but also carries out many of the customs a Nyanga would have (the closest equivalent would be a shaman).

Gen: the real word for leader the Boudalan kru uses is ‘Ishe’ which means chief and Lexa used to address her at first, but the people kept the nickname Gen in reference to their first leader, the General of the peacekeepers.

RANDOM TRIVIA STUFF:

Ndeshonasleng: The ndeshonasleng is a made-up language for this story, though it stems primarily from Shona and Ndebele spoken in Zimbabwe, with some Swahili, common English and the weird English the Subjects created mixed in. My headcanon is that with time, the different languages merged a bit, with Shona and Ndebele being the most predominant since those were the languages the General and the historian/cultural attaché spoke. The latter in particular would’ve made a conscious effort to keep their history, culture & languages alive by teaching the children that were born. She would’ve ended up using her own languages more often, though obviously the others (Swahili, Arabic, Oromo) became a part of it. It’s supposed to be a bit of a fusion but also borrowed some linguistic structure from Trigeda if that makes sense? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ LOL

Ishe Komborera: The Ishe Komborera Africa song they sing when they arrive at the mine is a song that was the national anthem of about 5 or 6 countries in Africa at different times, so it’s a very recognizable tune, regardless of what language they sing it in. Due to my parents job, I lived in Zimbabwe a couple of years when I was a tiny kid and used to sing this almost daily at school. It’s the only words of Shona I kinda remember, lol Here is how it sounds (with the most hilariously random video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTjurMoqdYE

Libraries, maps, roads and knowledge in the ancient world:

Records: When William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy, conquered England in the 1066 and became its king, he later commissioned the Domesday Book, a massive survey that recorded the population and ownership of every piece of land in England. Not unlike Lexa’s effort to map and create registries of everything in the Coalition. The Egyptians and the Romans were other civilizations that rose to such heights in part because of their almost obsessive and meticulous organization and effort to keep record of things: land, population, crops, etc.

Maps: The same crazy Normands eventually also were behind the famous Tabula Rogeriana, which was a world map with descriptions of each territory, created by the Arab geographer, Muhammad al-Idrisi, in 1154. Al-Idrisi worked on the commentaries and illustrations of the map for fifteen years at the court of the Norman King Roger II of Sicily. The text incorporates exhaustive descriptions of the physical, cultural, political and socioeconomic conditions of each region and each of the seventy sections has a corresponding map. It was a compilation of maps of the known world that remained the most accurate for 300 yrs! So what Lexa did in the previous chapter and is briefly mentioned here, with mapping out all the clans and lands, is not at all impossible and in the tradition of great visionaries.

Libraries: Ancient Egyptians wanted the Library of Alexandria to house all human knowledge and to do that, they did some pretty crazy things. They invited and funded scholars from Greece and elsewhere to come live there so they could produce more manuscripts. They made a law that all ships docking in Alexandria had to turn over all books aboard, so they could be copied by the scribes and then they would return the copies and keep the originals, lol. They hired book hunters to sail all over the Mediterranean to find more books to bring back. They even stopped exporting papyrus to other countries so only they could centralize the making of more manuscripts and scrolls! Also, the library not only housed scrolls, but also had lecture halls and classrooms, as it was a center for learning and producing knowledge. They did all this in 283 BC, that’s 2,300 years ago! Though the ancient library is gone, they built a new one on its supposed site and its magical. I went there once and had a super nerd-gasm.

Egyptians not only had the greatest library in the ancient world, with the library of Alexandria, but they also had a place called the House of Life. It was where priests learned to read and write, the place where scribes were trained, and where the children of the rich and the elite went to school to learn economics, law, astronomy, geography, mathematics. It was where the interpretation of dreams was taught. And, it was where papyrus with medical texts were housed and medical students would be taught by head healers, priests and scribes. You had to be a scribe first to a be a doctor, and they had both male and female doctors, mind you. I only recently found out about this House of Life, looking for examples that could demonstrate that the Library in Polis, the Keeper of Words, the scribes and judges training in Delphi, all that, could be plausible in less ‘advanced’ civilizations like the grounders if we were doing this way back in the day!

Roads: The via romana was the network of roads built by the ancient Romans throughout their history, some of which was so well built, parts of it still exists in many places throughout Europe and all the way to the Middle East. At its peak, there were 29 military highways radiating from the capital, and the late Empire's 113 provinces were interconnected by 372 great roads. The whole comprised more than 400,000 kilometres of roads, of which over 80,500 kilometres were stone-paved. It’s where the expression ‘all roads lead to Rome’ kinda came from. If the Romans can do it, so can Lexa! p.s. the map bellow just shows the main roads (during Hadrian’s period) to give you an idea of the enormous scale of the whole thing.

Boudalan cities: they’re inspired by the style of construction of Great Zimbabwe, the amazing 11th century city that was the capital of the Kingdom of Zimbabwe for about 3 centuries, built by the ancestral Shona. Because the peacekeepers were in a mine with rocks and mining instruments, they used what they had to build the wall of their first ‘bunker’ and given that Amos, their engineer, was of Zimbabwean heritage, he used it as inspiration for the settlement they built after outside and then that became their style or sorts. Except even more grand given his knowledge of modern engineering, etc. At least, that is my head canon.

CheMin: The CheMin, short for Chemistry and Mineralogy, is an instrument on current Curiosity rover on Mars. It identifies and quantifies the minerals present in rocks and soil. It can tell if there was water involved in their formation, deposition, or alteration, and also to find potential mineral biosignatures or indicators for past habitable environments (where life could have existed basically). At least, that’s what google tells me. What do I know?!

XRD: It’s an instrument that uses X-ray powder diffraction to determine the atomic and molecular structure of a crystal without destroying it to do so. It would be the type of thing that is used to determine if it’s a carbon-based crystal, for example, though I don’t know if portable ones exist.

Mines: You know there is an actual Mine Museum in Butte, Montana. So if there is ever a nuclear apocalypse and you’re in the vicinity, you might try your luck hunkering down there LOL😂

#clexa #clexa fanfic #commander lexa #clarke griffin #TheJourneyToUs #TJTU #NotesChapter7

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indelible-stars · 7 years ago

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So I finished reading ‘I Was Born For This’ by Alice Oseman and it was superb. Brilliant. A masterpiece. From the moment I heard about this book and what it was about I was intrigued. I’m so, so glad I won one of the giveaways and got the chance to read it early. It certainly lived up to the hype. The characters were loveable and real as Alice’s characters always are and I loved them all dearly. I wrote down my thoughts while reading so below is my stream of consciousness on what happens throughout the book.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD BEWARE

MONDAY

ANGEL

• This is such a realistic meeting of two internet friends • Omg how could you do this Juliet? I'd die if this happened to me. I'd just combust on the spot or sink into the ground and stay there forever.

JIMMY

• I love,,, them? Yes boys • I want all their outfits • “If we can talk about anxiety we can talk about poo. They’re basically the same thing.” Sure sure true that true that • I love how Cecily says babe all the time. She's an icon • Our girls like our boys I love it • I already love the boys friendship so much and it's only Jimmy's first chapter

ANGEL

• Mac is such a basic bitch. There's so many guys like him that think they're original bc they like really popular slightly old bands. You're not that edgy stop.

JIMMY

• Bliss is Rowan's girlfriend???? I didn't expect that to be her role. I thought she was gonna be a fan.

ANGEL

• Mac can you go??? Or at least shut up • I like how realistic Juliet is. Like I'm annoyed on Angel's behalf but I get how she is. • I thought the ship was going to be Rowan and Lister!!! Ah but Jowan makes sense and I'm interested in how this will play into stuff • Convincing evidence...yeah they're totally together Angel...you keep telling yourself that sweetheart

JIMMY

• We're like brothers • I would actually love this band. The angel wings and aesthetic? Yes bitch fuck me up • Oh I'm glad Jimmy likes something about being in his band • I was born for this... title reference complete

TUESDAY

ANGEL

• Ah what cute platonic cuddling. Eh guys? That's what you're freaking about isn't it? Their beautiful friendship? Also it's really creepy that someone got pictures of them sleeping in their apartment. Like what? It's gross that celebrities have to go through that • I don't think you should base your point of living on a fandom relationship Angel....that might be unhealthy....Do you perchance think there's something else going on here?

JIMMY

• Note to self: never read the start of this chapter when on a plane • How Jimmy logically knows that he's not as likely to die on a plane than so many other things but is still panicked is super relatable. Like logic and anxiety do not coincide. Anxiety knows no reason • Ah what's on the iPad has been revealed! A photo taken out of context and ridiculous article • Two whole months? Damn Rowan's a tough one. I'd be annoyed at Lister too but he shouldn't have to be really careful. It's shitty that one photo can be posted and Jimmy is forced to come out. • Aw no Lister :( aw no Jimmy :( how gross and invasive that someone else took it. Fuck man. I'd be terrified • Ro Ro. • No I just want my boys to love each other and be happy and safe :(

ANGEL

• Your dad might be getting at something Angel.... • Angel and her dad are cute. I like them • Everyone watching B99 all the time. Good choice in TV show. They know what they're doing • Yeah they just might not be thrilled at the situation girls.... • That sounds like a bloody long fanfic and how could it be a fave when the prospect of solo careers is involved?!?

JIMMY

• Shit I would not want any of those worst days. They really do sound awful • A secret for 2 years? That's pretty good going. Cecily well done • “Do you think if we hired a full-time bodyguard they’d do the hoovering for us?” bitch meee. Lister has his priorities in order. • Ah yes Alex you treat Jimmy as a person. The way he deserves • That new contract doesn't sound fun...not something that Jimmy will like... • Oh god Lister you mess • Ah this interview. Make it stop. I'm clenching up for them • Go away Dave! Give them a break • Breaking news: a fictional interviewer found dead by the hands of me

ANGEL

• I read Muliet as mullet and honestly? Same thing • “I think the truth is that everyone in the entire world is confused and nobody knows much of anything at all.” Angel speaking the goddamn truth. If I've never heard a more accurate statement. • Oh god Angel has balls I'd never be able to tell someone that I think someone they like's annoying • Oh is Juliet moving away from home...is that why she feels uncomfortable talking about parents? Did something blow up for her? • Ah Angel is a big name fan account. Why am I not surprised? • J2O my drink. My go to. My one true friend. • Omg is it Bliss? Why is Bliss there? • IT IS BLISS! • I love Bliss. It's been like 2 paragraphs but I love her! • "The world's a bit shit. Can't save it all at once." • “I learn that Bliss is bisexual. She says it with such extreme confidence that I'm suddenly jealous." Angel I relate. If it ain't me. • I wonder who your boyfriend’s best friend is Bliss.... • Well shit man... Angel sweetie how can you not believe love exists if Jowan isn't real? If only you knew you were saying this to Rowan's gf • Yeah it's ironic...it's not like it's actually Rowan or anything... • Omg Mac. Dude. • I can't believe they just left without her. Well, actually I can. • Alice is so good at writing nuanced sad moments. Like you ache for the characters and it's not even like they're balling their eyes out. Their feelings are just so real and shown in such simple ways.

JIMMY

• I love the transition with the flickering lights on both sides. Jimmy's grandad sounds ace and their apartment sounds lit! • ffs Lister. I couldn't live with him • Okay I need to state my love for Bliss again • Aw no my babes. Mummy and daddy are arguing. How dare fame ruin their relationship • Oh a cute X factor winner. Intriguing • Okay never mind he can get to fuck. Piss the hell away forever Magnet • Ooh Lister and Jimmy tension. Don't fight my boys. And I really wanna know what's up with Lister. • Honestly Jimmy is me if I ever became famous. Which is why I don't want to be. I could never handle it • I love Piero with all my heart • Ohmygod Jimmy my baby imma cry

WEDNESDAY

ANGEL

• Wow Tuesday was a long day. Never mind the rest of them. I'd be collapsing by now • Fuck. No. It wasn't her! No Bliss don't think it was Angel. Oh god poor Bliss. Who leaked it? I'll bloody get em. Is it someone in there life that has access to photos that's leaking them or something?

JIMMY

• Don't take this out on Lister! • Dave can actually die. I'll kill him yet again • Why must my boys hurt like this? Give them happiness goddammit!! • Screw getting big in America that contract sounds awful

ANGEL

• Yes Angel help the poor girl. I know it's a terrible circumstance but I'm happy they'll see each other again

JIMMY

• My boys no. In pain. No. Stop treating Lister as such a third wheel you don't notice him. Stop it all. Happiness only please

ANGEL

• "I will try to remain between you and the group of scary men at all times. Most of them are shorter than me. And I'm wearing heavy boots. If they get near us, I'll just kick. Like a giraffe." • Bliss and Angel? The ultimate friendship • Yasssssss @woman tripping the paps

JIMMY

• B99 mention number 3 • Ah yes some Jimmy and Lister quality bonding time. This is what I needed • "At once?" OMG I died haha. • “Druggie bisexual slut.” • The extremely famous girl band member is someone from Little Mix I bet • Does Lister like Jimmy? All these signs. I thought I was being tricked but does he? • A 32 year old woman? Fuck that's awful • Aw lister baby no :(

ANGEL

• “Is the word you're looking for "gay? It ain't poisonous.” • Did I mention I love bliss? Her every line is iconic • Mac’s been booted

JIMMY

• B99 again • Jimmy just stand outside in the rain don't go on a walk. Please be okay. Oh god • All the adorable old people in this book. They're so pure • This is so sad. My heart is aching

THURSDAY

JIMMY

• Jimmy and Angel are gonna meet! They're gonna meet!!!! I’m kinda scared about what will happen. • #LetListerWearTheBinbag2K18 • I want Jimmy's clothes. All of the things he just mentioned? I want • Yes Rowan fuck it up with that dress!! • I love the cape moment. My boy • How can you forget your birthday Jimmy? Ah • Oh I love the boys being happy and having fun and being...boys. Yes you dance to the Killers

ANGEL

• Love isn't a lie Angel!!!

JIMMY

• Why Lister whyyy • Lister does like Jimmy! Oh jesus. So much drama. I want Jimmy to like him back. I want there to be happiness. Don't kiss him while you're in the bathroom and drunk Lister! Oh god. Fuck

ANGEL

• Something bad has happened with Juliet and probably her parents. Why don't you see that Angel? • Piss off Mac. He has a point but I still wanna punch him • Jesus so much drama. Poor Juliet. Poor everyone. Why can't they have a second of a break?

JIMMY

• I'm nervous now. What's going to happen? Something big probably is going to happen when Angel and Jimmy meet or idk

ANGEL

• WTF WTF WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO ROWAN? WTF

JIMMY

• Someone threw a brick? What? Oh Jesus no! That girl can go to hell! Fuck. How did she even manage to get away with having a brick with her?? • Make this stop. Make this stop • Cecily! Save them! • They're meeting this is it. • Oh god • She's not going to hurt you Jimmy!

ANGEL

• Ah no • Don't be scared of each other • By god I think she's got it! Yes a panic attack Angel! A panic attack. Help him please • First Bliss and now Jimmy. Angel really is the saviour • Fuck man that was one hell of a meeting

JIMMY

• Your fans aren't monsters guys. I mean some of them are but they're real people just like you. Of course they'd help you in that situation

ANGEL

• Why can't my boys and my girls all just have happiness? Give them happiness goddammit. At least some peace • My,,,heart,,,Is,,,aching

FRIDAY

ANGEL

• All the emotions in this book are so real. I feel them in my gut • No Angel don't leave this way! • Mac. It's Mac. Time for a heart to heart • Juliet my girl my gal she deserves better. I want to hug her. I can't believe some parents can just do stuff like that. • She did take the knife! This is how they'll meet again though. The knife will bring them together

JIMMY

• They never have time my boys. They need to talk to Lister about his relationship with alcohol. Rowan deserves a relationship not affected so deeply by fame. Jimmy deserves so so much and it's not getting more anxious. They need to not sign the new contract • Rain rain so much rain • Jimmy that probably isn't a good idea..... but y'know what! Run. Go.

ANGEL

• Yes Angel you choose Juliet! • Or y'know Jimmy can message you... • Angel you be his bodyguard!!!!!

JIMMY

• He asked her to stay. Oh my babies. They're going to see Piero together ;_; • I love seeing Angel from Jimmy's perspective so much

ANGEL

• This whole section I just my heart is swelling • His grandma was called Joan. I'm going to cry • Piero my man I love him. He's adorable • Piero is wise. Piero speaks the truth. Jimmy and Angel both need to sort their shit out my babes

JIMMY

• No Jimmy please don't leave the ark just get a better contract. Idk. Ah this is so sad.

SATURDAY

ANGEL

• It's the boys. "I've got a bone to pick with you." Lol. Angry • This is certainly one way to meet your favourite band your obsessed with

JIMMY

• Jimmy noooooo • This isn't Angels fault Rowan. Just because she's a fictional protagonist so ends up in all these wild situations. • That's right Piero you tell em

ANGEL

• Angel you really gotta stop leaving without telling people • Yes Angel talk to your mummy. Is every interaction in this book going to split open my heart? • I wanna hug Angel so badly. I wanna hug them all • Statement of my love for Bliss again

JIMMY

• They're jamming like they used to. I'm going to cry. I never cry at books but I think I'm going to cry. • Why are they all so broken? Why do they have to break up? My heart it can't take this • Juliet is coming. The gang will be complete

ANGEL

• "I'm going to need another glass of milk" • Yes you definitely should care about yourselves more

JIMMY

• NO don't fight and leave NO • I'm going to need this fighting and hurt to stop now please. Time for happiness. Chip chop • Exactly don't let them leave Piero. It needs to be bloody resolved • Goddammit Lister. Just. Goddammit • Lister definitely has the knife doesn't he? • I'm so sad and there's not much left. This better get resolved enough for me to be smiling by the end or help me god

ANGEL

• Where's Lister? Jesus it just keeps coming. This needs to stop • Yes Juliet you snap at your idol. Don't take any shit girl

JIMMY

• Why do Angel and Jimmy both think everything is there fault. Stop it. Just. Ugh. My babies no • This weather is dramatic • Oh fuck. Oh no. Lister!!!! No. Why ah my heart no fuck no. Why the hELL would you do this to him? Why write this? Ahhhh • What the fu k? What the FUCK? WHY?

SUNDAY

ANGEL

• Yes yes yes. Angel would make a great band manager • I want Angel and Jimmy to stay in touch. I love their photos. I love these characters. It's nearly over and I'm not ready

JIMMY

• Yes guys you do whatever you want! Fuck the contract! Live your life! Be the band you're meant to be! I love them so much and yeah they're all a right much of weirdos • And I'm finished. My heart has gone through so much. I love all these characters. I want more of them. I don't want it to be over

damn that was a good book! @chronicintrovert well done!!

#alice oseman #iwbft #wow this is bloody long jesus

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artificialqueens · 7 years ago

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party chapter thirteen - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - i know it’s been so long. in fact, it’s been about eight months. it became difficult for me to continue this fic after it coming under fire so much. i was told it was cheap and stupid and as a fairly young writer, it got to me. i lost all motivation.

but we were so close to the end. we were moments away.

it’s short. but this is how i envisioned it. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much to anyone who read this. it means a lot <3

Their cab ride back home had been spent in a relatively awkward silence. For one, it seemed as though Sharon was slightly more rattled from running into her ex than she wanted to let on. Her knee was bouncing, the bones prominent through the thin fabric of her jeans. Alaska just needed a moment to mull over what had just happened, from the encounter right up to the impromptu confession she’d made.

It wasn’t a big deal, right? That was what the whole debacle spanning several months had been about. Alaska loved Sharon. Sharon loved Alaska. It had, essentially, ruined a tour, Sharon’s health, and the peace of mind of nearly all of their friends. So it wasn’t a big deal, that much was clear now. They were in love.

And yet it still felt like one. Mark’s words rang in her ears incessantly.

You’re good at brainwashing people, Aaron.

Sharon wasn’t a bad person. A four year relationship and a friendship afterwards had cemented that fact in Alaska’s mind. But that didn’t change that Sharon had an ugly side, a darker side, beyond the one that was revealed under the influence of illicit substances. There was the side of her that was nihilistic, offensive, the side that didn’t give a shit because she didn’t have a reason to. That side of her was rare, but it still existed.

Surely Sharon wasn’t lying, though. They’d been through so much together. No matter how cheap and stupid it may have seemed, the hard times had brought them together. It had been a wake-up call in many circumstances, from relationships to just plain health. It wasn’t something Sharon could lie about.

As they walked towards the front door – Sharon having paid for the ride and taken hold of Alaska’s hand as soon as they stepped out – Alaska started to relax again. She was just getting stressed; it was natural after such a weird turn of events. To walk hand in hand in the streets of Pittsburgh, a city now infamous thanks to the pair of them, that in itself was enough to skew her mind a little bit. Mark and his stupid little mind games were just the cherry on top of the stress cake.

Sharon flung herself down onto her couch as soon as she got inside, too tired to even properly take her shoes off. Instead, she opted to kick and shake them off as best as she could as she sank into the cushions, pulling Alaska down with her.

“So, you just said you loved me.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.” Sharon persisted. “I heard it. I heard it come right out of your little mouth.”

Alaska chuckled at the childish game. “You must have me confused with someone else.”

“Like who?” Sharon laughed. “Who could I possibly have you confused with?”

She pretended to think. “Hmm. A boa constrictor?”

“I prefer feather boas.” Sharon muttered decisively. “They’re prettier. I know I heard you, Lasky. I even said it back. Don’t deny it.”

“Well then,” Alaska replied smugly. “If you know you heard it, why do you need to mention it again?”

Sharon puckered her lips for a kiss. Alaska gladly obliged.

“To make extra sure.” She said. “You don’t think I spent so many months worrying about this not to double check it, did you?”

Alaska softened. “The worrying can stop, Noodles. No amount of ugly exes, past relationships or overdoses are gonna stop me from loving you. I’m not encouraging any of those things, but… they won’t stop me loving you the way I do. Things turned out okay in the end, didn’t they?”

Alaska knew the saying was ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, but she wanted to change it. Stronger was perhaps a better word. They’d broken each other down and built one another back up again over years and years, and if anything, their hearts were stronger than they’d been before. More in tune than they’d ever been before. It seemed a break was all they needed, and that was all it had been; a break, not a break up.

The pair were comfortably silent for a while. There was no need to dive on top of one another, ravaging each other with kisses and sex and hickeys and everything that the love novels suggested. Rekindling a fire never encompassed dumping a bottle of gasoline and a box of matches onto the wood. Like a fire, it needed to be dealt with slowly, carefully, bit by bit until they got it right.

They had all the time in the world.

(7) New Messages

Willam: Alaska

Willam: Goddammit you fucking snake why are you never awake when important news is breaking

Willam: good luck when you wake up bitch

Courtney: bill! This is serious!

Michelle: Not sure if you’ve seen Instagram and Twitter, but I’d hurry there if I were you. I’m guessing you’re not awake, but…

- Michelle Visage has sent a link –

It had been so comfortable, sat next to Sharon on the couch in silence, that Alaska wasn’t even aware the pair of them had drifted off until she suddenly awoke. Sharon’s hand was resting on her thigh, her head on her neck, and in Alaska’s right hand her phone flashed continuously. Stirring herself cautiously, so as not to wake up Sharon, she unlocked it and groggily read her messages.

Oh for fuck’s sake, she thought to herself. Not again. Why is it that the moment I’m happy, the moment anything good happens, something appears online?

A feeble part of her brain tried to convince herself otherwise. Maybe it wasn’t what she thought? Maybe it was just some snotty club cancelling one of her gigs, another article proclaiming Sharon to be a drug-obsessed Nazi – something standard and easy to brush off. There was a good chance it was another fan taking a stab at finding proof of ‘shalaska’, which again was fairly easy to ignore, if slightly amusing. Some of their theories were wild and some of them were, well, hilariously accurate.

Feeling a little blasé about the whole thing, Alaska opened her twitter. Nothing unusual. Mrs Kasha Davis spreading her positivity. A naked black guy with a gigantic cock, with a small ‘liked by Coco Montrese’ at the top of the photo. Katya spouting strangely ominous nonsense. Phi Phi interacting with fans. Ultimately, nothing seemed out of place.

She clicked trending. Various idiotic topics greeted her as usual. A sporting event, the resignation of a famous player who played… something, a funny hashtag about describing your boss with a movie title, and –

Oh.

That was what they meant.

Despite the words seeming frivolous, Alaska’s heart rate sped up upon reading them. #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty was one of the few trending topics, with a couple of hundred tweets about it.

Heart suddenly filled with dread, Alaska clicked. The first tweet, the most liked and retweeted one of all, was from an oddly familiar source.

Mark - @thatmarkman – Feb 1st

Imagine your already-shitty boyfriend leaving you to go date/fuck the ex that he abused #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty @SHARON_NEEDLES

-picture-

Enlarging the image, Alaska saw it was of herself – blurry, and from the back, but most definitely her. Her hand was entwined with the hand of somebody who hadn’t quite made it into the picture, but she knew was Sharon.

She swiped. This time the two of them were in it, still holding hands, at a side angle that would easily clear any doubts over the first image. Sharon’s side profile was abundantly clear, Alaska’s face almost fully visible. It was incriminating evidence.

angie<3 - @katyasbabyslut2004 – Feb 1st

WHY IS @SHARON_NEEDLES TRYING TO RUIN ALASKA’S CAREER JUST LIKE HERS >:( #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty

Ben||3 days - @delanoactzamomattel – Feb 1st

Wow i sure do love unstanning racist nazi cheaters! #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty

Victoria Ulgard - @trixyalaska49 – Feb 1st

Sum1 tell me this is photoshopped #sharonneedlesisoverparty

56 days - @adoorcilantrosplaid – Feb 1st

Feel like ive waited years for this damn hashtag to be a thing #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty #FINALLY

AB - @kimorasblackk – Feb 1st

Ew shalaska really? #gross #sharonneedlesisOVERparty

Leon :D - @leoshakesqueere1 – Feb 1st

Can someone explain whats going on omg i thought they broke up bc it was abusive?? #shalaska?? #sharonneedlesisoverparty

They went on and on, each one slamming Sharon, or Alaska, or both of them. A few were kind, clogging up the negative tag with positivity, but it did little to fix the issue.

Everything was now out in the open.

This was the last thing Sharon needed, and Alaska knew it. The recovery would be, and already had been, rough. It wasn’t going to get any easier anytime soon, and she didn’t need the added stress of seeing people going bananas over something that didn’t involve them. Sharon was more private than she liked to let on – this would only stress her out.

“Lasky?”

Alaska had been so caught up in scrolling through the madness that she didn’t notice Sharon stirring on her shoulder until the older queen spoke. She was squinting, her glasses having fallen off into her lap, and her brow was furrowed down at her own mobile.

“Why is Michelle texting me?”

A heavy sigh escaped from Alaska’s lips. She couldn’t lie about it. It was inevitable that Sharon would find out; she might as well deliver the news as gently as she could.

“…Your asshole of an ex told the world about us.”

She waited for the reaction.

After a couple of seconds of silence, Sharon nestled down into Alaska’s shoulder again, her eyelids still heavy from sleep.

She yawned. “Is that it?”

Alaska shifted her arm to pull Sharon closer to her, appreciating the calming warmth of having another body by her side. Sharon dropped her phone into her lap, not caring about it, and opened her eyes momentarily to gaze into Alaska’s.

“The thing is…” She began sluggishly, clearly still half-asleep. “It doesn’t fucking matter… ‘cause, I love you baby. ‘N you love me too. The whole world don’t have to love us.”

Within seconds of soliloquising, her eyes were closed again, her body growing heavier against Alaska’s. She sounded so sure, so certain, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It didn’t matter, she was positive. All that mattered was their love shared, right?

Alaska wasn’t as convinced as she wanted to be. “I don’t know, Sharon… this could have repercussions. It’s so soon…”

“Trust me, pumpkin… you lose a gig, I lose a gig… doesn’t matter. We’re famous ‘n involved in a scandal. We’re hot shit.”

The words were so painfully Sharon that Alaska couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe she was right after all. Logically, she knew it wasn’t going to get any worse than this. Mean tweets, or perhaps a rude comment, or something snotty on Reddit – that would be the beginning and end of their troubles. Of course Sharon’s overdose would remain a problem, but at the same time, the news was dying down. It seemed as though, when it came to Ru Girls, everything flared up for days and then dissipated again.

It was cliché. Beyond cliché. But that didn’t matter. Alaska switched off her phone, putting it face down on the coffee table and gently stroking Sharon’s hair.

Gigs didn’t matter. Mean comments didn’t matter. Unkind tweet and speculations didn’t matter.

What mattered was happiness, love and health.

Happiness. Only months ago, Alaska had expected she wouldn’t find proper happiness again. Confusion shrouded her mind from the obvious, pulling her away from her instinctive thoughts. She stopped following her gut and started following her head, knowing in the back of her mind that this was the same head that caused her self-depreciating thoughts. The head that caused the meltdowns, the tantrums, the angry fits that made her appear overly-competitive and petty. In hindsight, she needn’t have listened to her head. Her heart knew what it wanted. Her heart knew what it needed.

Love. That had been the difficult one. She hadn’t even wanted to recognise the way she was feeling, and had just silenced herself in order to keep up the illusion. In a hotel years ago, she’d decided to listen to her heart and break away – and in another hotel later on, she’d decided not to. For so long she denied herself the very idea; love doesn’t die when a relationship does. It had taken a while. And maybe, just maybe, it didn’t feel as explosive and all-consuming and fiery as it had when they were young, dumb and broke. Maybe, just maybe, the gentle warmth and softness between them, the delicacy of Sharon’s sleeping face and the weight of her body next to her, was enough. Maybe, just maybe, that was love too.

Health. Admittedly, they weren’t doing too well at this one. But it was a start. Sharon was starting to get better. The problem was acknowledged, and being tackled. After one of her many mood swings from angry to guilty, she’d told Alaska she was going to limit her cigarette intake. Originally, she’d decided to quit completely – a resolution that lasted all of five minutes before a craving struck her. Still, it was something. Drugs were out of the window and cigarettes were slowly disappearing. It was something. Progression.

It wasn’t perfect. They would never be perfect. Alaska would always be sensitive, a perfectionist, and prone to reacting negatively when things didn’t always go her way. Sharon would always want to find solace in a bar, to block out the bad feelings with a substance or two, and revert back to her old ways. They would never be perfect. And love certainly wasn’t going to fix that.

But there was nothing they could do to change the imperfections.

So, with as much blasé as she could muster, a brief imitation of her old old friend, Alaska smiled to herself.

Party.

#shalaska #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #party #purecamp #rpdr fanfiction #submission #party by purecamp

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beanabouttown · 7 years ago

Note

do you have any super fluffy flinthamilton fic recs? its one of /those/ days

do i EVER (yes, yes i do)

super fuffy fic rec list down below! (since you said flinthamilton i have only included james/thomas fic, but let me know if you want some fluffy flinthamiltons fic and i can direct you towards some good stuff!)

Like a ghost. by LittleHouseMouse

It’s the first morning on the plantation after the reunion and Thomas Hamilton is awoken by a sound.

it’s short but sweet and im always here for fic about the first time james and thomas wake up together after the reunion

I Want To Take Care Of You by Magnetism_bind

James is ill and Thomas just wants to look after him.

post-reunion fluff! flashback to london-era fluff! this fic just makes me happy, and it’s got thomas reading to james, which is always a good thing

Moments by TheAssassinsGhost

“'I can’t believe the days turned into years. I hate to see the moments disappear…‘”

15,743 words, 4 chapters, one of my all-time favourites! various snap-shots into james and thomas’ life after leaving the plantation

Reorienting by Palebluedot

“Thomas grabs ahold of his holy apparition with both hands and keeps him there, draws him nearer. Let them hold each other until they both bruise, he thinks fiercely, for tenderness needn’t always step light. Love owes them kind wounds.”

this fucking fic - it’s one of those ‘oh god this is the best fic i’ve read in weeks’ fics. im going to rec a lot of audrey’s fics and they are all as good as this one

Too Fondly to be Fearful by Palebluedot

“A hint of youthful mischief blooms in Thomas’s crow’s-feet as he brushes their toes together beneath the bedcovers.

“Fancy a moment’s fresh air?”James grins.

Outside, the scent of the roses hangs heavy as perfume, mixes sweet with every breath of cool night breeze. Thomas settles next to him on the step, barefoot and smiling, his arm warm around James’s waist.”

james and thomas stargazing in the middle of the night, post-reunion. it’s fucking beautiful and i love it so much

Things That Grow by Palebluedot

“Weeding, pruning, watering – though the tasks seem never-ending, it’s pleasant, welcome labor, working at a gentle pace, James’s voice as constant as the sun on his back, the sweetness of the roses he tends.

~+~+~+~+~

Something of a companion piece to “Too Fondly to be Fearful,” but can easily be read separately.”

james reading to thomas! happy post-reunion fluff!

Pathos and Logos by Palebluedot

He should have been on his way ten lost minutes ago. With a sigh, with a parting kiss to the corner of Thomas’s mouth, James at last rises, and the sheets wind tight around his legs. The mattress dips behind him just as his feet brush the floor, and unseen fingers loosely encircle his wrist, keep him perched on the edge of the bed just long enough for a clinging shadow to press against his back, hold him fast about the waist.

“Stay a moment longer,” comes the sweet whisper in his ear.

happy London-era fluff - thomas trying to stop james leaving the bed. the first day this fic was posted i read it something like ten times

Tactile by Palebluedot

“When Thomas opens his eyes, they stare and stare and seem to shine. “I wondered often how this might look,” he murmurs, pushing an errant lock behind James’s ear, fingers tracing over the shell. He looks down at James, adoration writ plain across his face, warm as the candlelight, and this is all still so strange to James, so new.

~+~+~+~

Inspired by bean-about-townn’s post: “Imagine the first time Thomas sees James’ hair out of its ribbon” and a related conversation with blanketed_in_stars.”

okay basically i should just say at this point that audrey (@brightbluedot) is the queen of fluff

Homecoming by Palebluedot

“That smile grows, and Thomas shall never find the strength to disentangle himself now, so he holds on all the tighter – three months, three months stranded with only the memory of James’s face, God only knows how he survived. But no matter. Now that he’s home, Thomas intends nothing less than to reclaim each and every intimacy the sea stole from them.”

look. if you just ignore the fact that thomas is taken away to bethlem right after this, it’s the fluffiest fic you are ever going to read in your life.

…but if you read it with that in mind, then it will break your heart. so be warned!

Something Old by Palebluedot

““Do you remember the first time I brought you home for Christmas?”

“The only time, you mean.”

Thomas grins, eyes sparkling with a fondness James doesn’t recall that battlefield of a holiday deserving. “Fifteen years later, that’s still one of my favorite memories of you.””

modern au fluff after james and thomas get married!

Eye of the Beholder by Palebluedot

“Open your eyes for me, love,” Thomas reminds him, voice husky, and when he does, the first thing he sees is Thomas’s reflected grin, hungry as the gaze that caresses every inch of skin from James’s parted, panting lips down to his flushed and leaking cock. “Just look at you,” he sighs in James’s ear before he trails imprecise, open-mouthed kisses back down to James’s throat.

~~~

alternatively, that time bean was like “so what if they fucked in front of a mirror” and I was like “shit what if they DID”

i still maintain that this 100% happened at least once. (porn. really, really amazingly written porn. and so very fluffy)

A Stranger at his Door by theflowercrownedking

“Silver comes looking for Flint. Thomas answers the door.”

not one for fans of silver, and i fucking love it. thomas is clever, thomas isn’t expected to forgive silver for selling james into slavery and leaving them both in the plantation, and it ends with james and thomas snuggled up together in bed. what’s not to love? (i saw this fic just when i went to go through my bookmarks on ao3 to make this list, and im gonna be honest with you anon, i read it twice through before i could get back to putting together these recs)

Keeping him Safe by theflowercrownedking

“In which James manages to keep his werewolf nature a secret, right up until the moment he has a nightmare and shifts in Thomas’ arms.”

i mean there’s some angst when it changes to james’ pov, but thomas, as always, is a ray of sunshine who illuminates james’ tragic life and it’s beautiful

The Throes of Fever by theflowercrownedking

“In which James is feverishly sick, and convinced Thomas is an angel sent to care for him.”

…i went to try and find a quote to put here to show how wonderful this fic is, but. it was all so good i couldn’t pick a single thing, which means you will just have to take my word for it!

Cache of Gems: Tumblr Ficlets by AstronautSquid

“An ongoing collection of the occasional short scenes I write for tumblr.

Varying ratings, check the chapter title!”

second chapter is brilliant porn, but the first chapter is fluff and i love it so much - and only partly bc it’s a little bit my fault

i am absolutely happy to read fic of James just staring at the back of Thomas’ head for an hour. who isn’t??

kinky nsfw ficlet 1 by @complaininginthedark

Anonymous asked: for the kink thing - cockwarming, if youre into it? your writing is amazing btw

aaahhhhh thank you so much!!!! I’ve already played with the idea of cock warming for these two simply because I think James is a little touch starved most of the time and is easily overwhelmed and needs grounding a lot. So here is my take on it.

it’s so very fluffy and i love it

“I’ll keep you safe” by @complaininginthedark

bean-about-townn asked: ooh, 66 (“I’ll keep you safe”) for flinthamilton, which would. also be great for aftercare after the reunion (sorry im obsessed with the concept now. ur last fic was too good i can’t stop thinking about it)

aaaaaaaaah i prompted this and it’s still one of my favourite bits of writing in the fandom

Vulnerable by khazadspoon

James needed to feel the sharp sting of his hand, the bite of his teeth, the grip of ropes at his hands and feet.

And Thomas would do anything, anything, to give James peace. Even if that peace was brought through pain.

– Post series, Thomas takes care of James after a rough night. Aftercare and comfort because I love these two too much –

it’s so fluffy and beautiful and it’s one of my all time favourites. no explicit sex, though the implication is there

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! by NahaFlowers

It’s snowing outside and Thomas wants to go out and play in the snow, despite it being the dead of night. James’s protests are feeble at best - he can’t deny this man anything. Just cute fluff. Written for penflicks on Tumblr.

look. let’s be realistic. it doesn’t get much fluffier than thomas carrying james to bed

Till Death Us Do Part by Palebluedot

And there’s that ache, and there’s that sweetness, and lord, James really would swear in the eyes of God that he cannot bear to live without him, wouldn’t he?

~+~+~+~

Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder: a triptych.

james thinking about marriage in london, nassau, and after the reunion. the first and third parts are the fluffiest fluff ever to fluff, but the middle will break your heart in the best way

Something like Home by enthugger

Sober, James thinks that Thomas Hamilton is brilliant. He is safe and warm and his presence is a soft glow that brightens the ridged structure of James’ mind. Drunk, he believes that Thomas should own the goddamn world.

imagine me making a sound akin to the sound one makes when seeing a particularly adorable kitten, and you’ll get an accurate idea of my reaction to this fic

you are a constellation by ohCaptain (AngryPirateHusbands)

fluffy porn about thomas appreciating james’ freckles, absolutely lovely!

im sure there’s more but im tired now. i hope your day gets better soon anon!

#Anonymous #flinthamilton #james flint #thomas hamilton #black sails

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aibrechts · 8 years ago

Note

Would you do a Tyki/Allen reclist??

YES, i certainly WILL HAHA

if you know me then you know i love my tykillens 100% consensual and thats. That’s a bit tough, cause not many in the fandom seem to agree with me lol. it’s a bit of a wasteland in ao3 not gonna lie but the tag there has recently been blessed, and I’ll dig out some old gold too

Honestly it’s uh. It’s probably gonna be easiest to organise this by authors and then I’ll like. Pick a couple of my favourites from each of them, and link a few randoms i like at the end.

Moonswing: I love the way this author writes them - the dialogue especially is quick, witty and so so fun, and the ideas they come up with are

Loves Company is the first poker pair fic i read that gave me hope for this ship. it’s so light and funny and good and went a long way to inspiring me to continue writing for the pair.Some Minor Issues looks like it’s only just been started and I honestly cant wait for more. Modern AU where Tyki is the son of a mob boss, the best trans Allen i’ve ever read (in a world of fem!allen i have finally found an oasis of casual and accurate representation). definitely excited to see where it goes, if it goes, idk if it’s gonna be continued or what but !!!!Reapers is another new one, and the title kinda says it all lol. Allen and Lavi are reapers working for the Earl, and Allen is designated Tyki’s personal servant ahahaha

hiat:Not gonna lie i haven’t actually read a LOT from this author, but what I have read has been exceptional

A Small Reprieve is wonderful, especially considering it’s the author’s first smut like. Damn. It’s sweet and a little bit sad, but this is Tykillen so what did u expect lmaoFondant and Fakery is so cute and sweet like omfg ahahaha it’s all the lighthearted Tykillen fluff i ever neededWorlds Apart is probably my favourite from them, but im not sure if it’s ongoing or if they’ve abandoned it? Another mob AU and i really really hope they continue it because !!!!! im in love with this fic ahahaha and want to see more

ArbitrarySpaces:oohhh boyyyy //rubs hands together

While You Sleep is somehow the only soulmates au (that i know of) and i love it?? its amazing and cute, where each Allen and Tyki sees through the other’s eyes in their dreams.Mr. Poker Face is super funny and lighthearted - i love the flow of dialogue, it’s so quick and witty and them I honestly yelled a lil when I saw it’d been updated with a second chapter.How to Build a Life Together depicts snapshots of Tyki and Allen, uh. Building a life together i guess lol. Each chapter is a different point in their relationship, starting from the point where Tyki gives Allen a rock (and not in the traditional sense. That comes later lmao).

rustandstardust:they’ve got some damn good shit i tell ya

it’s all a game is so ???? good ??? casino au where allen’s a tease and tyki’s a sucker, everything feels so lavish and indulgent and i love it!connection I haven’t… actually…. read. But! it’s on my agenda tonight tbh and I have high expectations lollove me like you mean it is also really good, like. I don’t know what else to say lmfao it’s just… good.

CandyCrackpot:I am shocked and appalled by the fact I almost missed them because they’re like. Like. If there’s a holy trinity in this fandom then they’re god. just. Just straight up they’re a fucking god okay.

Gamble got me on the bottom!tyki hype train and i have yet to follow through - mostly because i’m intimidated by the quality of writing and characterisation that went into this 100% rly fukkin good would recommend.//squints// and uh that’s all for them??? but they have a HEAP of other fics for this fandom ((if ur looking for some soft papa mana and baby allen fluff then Smile is def the place to go))

Hurryup:every time i think about them my chest gets tight and my hands start shaking like ???? is this love ?????????????? fam help i think im dying honest to god

shutdown is… its, uh. I honestly can’t put it into words. It’s the best Tykillen fic I’ve ever read. It’s beautiful, subtle, quiet, so bitter and sweet, but somehow not bittersweet and i honestly. i dont know how to explain how that’s possible but it is and it’s perfect and i will scream from the top of mount fucking ararat about how good it is til the day i drop dead okay like. if you read only one fic from this list, let it be this one.idk why i thought they’d written more tykillen than that, probably because it was so fucking good and the characterisation was flawless, but for the life of me i can’t find any others for this ship by them so…??? but lots of link/allen if ur into that. i haven’t read them personally but if shutdown is any indication they’re gonna be lit like a talking bush.

—Assorted—

Chinchirinoda’s fic Worship gave me a hand kink. No kidding, it’s short and sweet and quiet and sad and lovely and one of my OG favourite Tykillen fics

I haven’t actually read Allen’s worst Struggle by slaying_dragons, or Night of Truce (new author on the block what up) but I have the tabs open and im prob gonna get to those tonight too lol

Let’s Do Something Wrong by kittybandit is a super cute collection of super short super sweet prompt-drabbles. Like condensed milk. Or a shot of straight cordial. Or cocaine. The yoga one is def my favourite, but they’re all amazing

autumntea is the kind of cruel where they’ll write 700-ish words and every single letter is perfect and amazing and makes u want MORE but then like. there isn’t. there isn’t more thERES NEVER MORE AND I WISH THERE WAS BC IT’S ALL SO GOOD. all of it. Every tykillen fic they wrote is a dicktease and i want MORE, DAMMIT

If you want crack (and for some reason Kingdom Hearts characters working in a casino ????), Sin City Dreamers by The_Button_Harlequin is lit the most well-written shitpost i’ve ever had the experience of reading, like. I lit couldn’t stop laughing while reading it it’s… No, i can’t explain it, you have to read it yourself to understand lmfao definitely worth it, I promise. i promise.

And, uh. I dont mean to toot my own horn (i totally do bruh look at my ego okay) but if you’d like a chef’s special then i recommend make it out alive for smut, and Pilate saith unto them, behold the man for ‘fluff’ (so far as fluff goes in my vocabulary) and Mutually Beneficial for Tyki’s big dumb crush.

—

There you have it !!! that’s. That’s pretty much the entire consensual Tykillen tag right there. And it’s all good like idk how yall do it but ur fukkin masterminds okay im honestly in shock, still in shock actually after reading Hurryup’s fic last night like. fuck i wanna cry just thinking about it lmfao it’s so perfect and beautiful and sad like jesus fam let me breathe.

I know you’re going to find something in here you love and if you don’t then im. i don’t know what to tell u man lol this is the best of the best so i hope u enjoy yourself

#poker pair fic rec #anon #dgm #d gray man #allen #tyki #allen walker #tyki mikk #poker pair #tykillen #fic rec #i got so carried away im not even sorry #I LOVE THEM OKAY #I LVOE THEM A LOT #THE PAIRING AND THE FICS #JUST #ALL OF IT #I LOVE IT

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littleshopofreaders · 8 years ago

Text

What inspired you to write your first book?

My first book was a collection of erotic short stories with various supernatural and fantasy themes, and I was inspired to write them after a friend gave me a Black Lace collection and I realized “WOW! You are allowed to write this sort of naughty stuff!”

The first book of this trilogy, Cover Him With Darkness, started life as a short story that appeared in Mitzi Szereto’s collection Red Velvet and Absinthe, and the publisher at Cleis loved it so much that she asked me to write what happened next.

Do you have a specific writing style?

Madeline Moore called me “hardcore and literate.” I love that!

How did you come up with the title of your current book?

“In Bonds of the Earth” is a quote from The Book of Enoch, which is an apocryphal BC text not included in most Bibles, but which is all about fallen angels: “And from henceforth you shall not ascend into heaven into all eternity, and in bonds of the earth the decree has gone forth, to bind you for all the days of the world.”

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Right and wrong is not about following any set of laws, it’s founded on empathy.

How much of the book is realistic?

It’s a contemporary paranormal about fallen angels, but I put a LOT of effort into making the settings and details accurate. A big chunk is set in Ethiopia for example – so I went to Ethiopia for 20 days. The description of the rock-hewn churches is bang-on accurate…right up to the end of Chapter 9.

Are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

My real life is not that eventful, believe me!

What books have most influenced your life most?

“The Lord of the Rings.” I’m a geek; I started playing Dungeons and Dragons when I was thirteen. I think everything else has come out of that.

If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?

Angela Carter influenced my writing style and themes from the start.

What book are you reading now?

“The Tiger and the Wolf” by Adrian Tchaikovsky. It’s an excellent fantasy with a really unusual setting.

Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?

Samantha McLeod and Sonni de Soto.

What are your current projects?

I’m writing the sequel to In Bonds of the Earth, and the final part of that trilogy: The Prison of the Angels.

Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.

I’ve found the erotica writing community (which is mostly female btw) incredibly supportive, intelligent, and friendly.

Do you see writing as a career?

No – I see it as a vocation, and as my purpose in life.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

I wish I’d made it clear that all fallen angels are left-handed. Too late now, lol.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

I always wanted to write, I think.

Can you share a little of your current work in progress with us?

Egan came up behind me without a word and slipped his arms round my waist, kissing the top of my head, breathing the scent of my hair. Goddamnit; to cut him some slack, I’m fairly sure he didn’t know the effect that had on me– my insides were doing that flip-flop thing that hurt so good. “We need to talk,” he murmured. I knew it! Here it comes. Mr. Rationality. Mr. Consequences. My stomach tightened up like a knotted fist. They were so different, my two loves. Azazel was a creature of appetite and the moment, living for his desires—but Egan lived in the battlemented ivory tower of overthinking, fending off the armies of his libido. Only when he was undermined by illness or exhaustion or drink did he ever fall into recklessness. And me? I was much more like Azazel. I went with my gut instinct. None of this would have happened if that hadn’t been the case.

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

After 15+ years of writing erotica, the most challenging thing is writing orgasms without just repeating myself!

Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?

I have many favorite authors, all wildly different, but the one thing they all have in common is that they have their own creative vision and they don’t compromise it or write to a market formula.

Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?

I LOVE travelling, and use the places I’ve been to all over the world as settings or inspiration for many of my stories and novels – even ones set in imaginary worlds.

Who designed the covers?

The cover of In Bonds of the Earth is by Deranged Doctor Design and I’m delighted with it! The publisher and I put a LOT of discussion into getting something we’d be proud of. In fact, input into cover design was my first stipulation in my contract!

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

Writing the main antagonist/villain, in a way that makes it clear they’re awful, yet understandable.

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

Every time you think you know your characters, they suddenly reveal another layer of complexity.

Do you have any advice for other writers?

If you have an uncomfortable truth to tell about your protagonist, put it in the mouth of an antagonist.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Read critically. Don’t assume that everything a protagonist says is correct, or is projecting the author’s own opinion. We sometimes write characters that we think are getting it badly wrong.

What were the challenges (research, literary, psychological, and logistical) in bringing it to life?

I was brought up in a Christian (born-again Protestant) family but I’ve had to do a lot of research for this trilogy into other Christian theologies – Catholicism and Serbian Orthodoxy in particular, since my two main human characters belong to those traditions. There are surprising and significant differences that affect how they see the world.

Rapid Fire

Coffee – Tea: BOTH, IN STRICT TURN Boxer – Briefs: BRIEFS Jeans – Sweats: JEANS Silk – Cotton: COTTON iPhone-Galaxy: I DON’T OWN A SMARTPHONE! Rightie – Leftie : LEFTIE Soda-Water: TONIC Cake-Pie: CAKE Rock n roll – Country: ROCK Mountains – Beach: MOUNTAINS Cat -Dog: DOG

Favorite Movie: A Muppet Christmas Carol Favorite TV Show: Game of Thrones Favorite Car: Anything that can fit two greyhounds in the back Favorite Color: Midnight blue Favorite Male Film Star: Tom Hardy Favorite Female Film Star: Eva Green Favorite Fast Food: Chinese Favorite Cocktail: Mojito Favorite Musical Band: Rammstein Favorite Singer: Freddie Stevenson Favorite Song: “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel

Excerpt from In Bonds of the Earth:

Wrapping the cheap cotton throw from the foot of the bed around my bare body, I padded through to the doorway. The Archangel Michael stood in the middle of my small apartment, looking about him at the book shelves and the pictures. A paperback copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo slipped from his hand back onto the low table. “Hello, Milja. Nice place. Has he moved his toothbrush in yet?” It was like waking to find a giant bird of prey in my tiny living room; he looked wildly unsuited to a domestic setting and way too big for it, even with wings furled. In fact, with that Roman nose and those unblinking amber eyes, there was something distinctly golden eagle-like about him. If he stretched out he could knock over walls, I thought. “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked. “This is my home. You can’t just come barging in!” “You’re right,” he said, looking startled. “I have to have your permission. No, hold on, wait…that’s vampires. Shame.” I pursed my lips. “Well, God certainly did not hold back on the sarcasm when he made you guys.” He smirked. If you’re that good-looking, even a less-than-warm smile can be a weapon of devastating charm. Turning to the couch, he sat down with arms draped over the back and knees spread. It was not so much an invitation as a claiming of territory. “What do you want?” I kept my voice hard, even as I thought of the icon of Saint Michael that had stood guard over the key in my father’s church. That holy painting had always made me feel nervous as a child, and he was no less intimidating in the flesh. His piercing gaze rested lightly upon me, with all the gentleness of a sword-point. “Nothing.” His rigger boots were caked in dried mud, I noticed, and flaking on my rug. I wished he would blink. It still creeped me out, even though Azazel should have inured me to it. “Angels aren’t supposed to lie. What are you doing here?” “Waiting.” “So, what…you’re sitting guard over me until Azazel comes back? Is that your plan?” “He’s too much of a coward to face me. Runs every time.” “If that’s the way you want to call it.” He looked at the kitchen door. “I see you have a kettle. You got any tea? I like that Earl Grey stuff. Tastes like flowers.” “I know the rules, you know. You can’t actually do anything to me.” “True enough. And I’m not stopping you leaving, if that’s worrying you.” “I can move out. Get a new place.” “That’s fine, I’ll find you. This apartment’s a bit small for the two of us, to be honest.” I clenched my jaw, weighing my options. “Okay,” I said, and dropped my wrap to reveal my naked body, in all its post-coital salty glow. That wiped the smile off his lips. “Don’t play those games,” he growled, sitting up and looking away from me. Love is Azazel’s weak spot. Shame is theirs. They’re terrified of their own human flesh. “What? Does this make you uncomfortable? That’s a pity, seeing as how it’s my house and I like to walk around it naked.” “You are shameless.” His gaze was sliding all over the place, not daring to settle on me. “I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” I hefted my breasts and jiggled them. “They’re my tits. In my apartment. If you don’t want to see, clear out.” “Put your robe back on,” he rasped. “Oops,” I said. “Did I drop it?” Turning my back to him, I spread my feet and, straight-legged, bent over to pick the fabric up again. Nice and slow… He moved so fast he’d launched me across the room and onto my bed before I even realized he was out of his seat. The abused mattress twanged in alarm. It knocked the wind out of me—and more than that, shocked me half to death. I wasn’t in the least bit hurt, not even bruised, but I hadn’t expected him to touch me at all, under the rules. Maybe the Boatman sailed closer to the wind than I’d bargained for. “Don’t do that, whore!” he barked, leaning into my face. He looked furious. I knew why. It takes a human decades to learn how to deal with all the things that come with an adult body—all those hormones and instincts—without losing control. Angels never had the advantage of a gradual introduction. I had two choices: surrender or fight. I bared my teeth and snarled right back at him, matching his rage and contempt. “Or what? You’re going to rape me? ’Cause I think that might just count as a fall from Grace, don’t you? And then you’d be royally fucked, Mister Michael.” He recoiled, drawing himself up in undisguised horror. I took advantage of the gap between us to roll over and pull the drawer of my bedside cabinet open, pulling out the silicon rabbit sex toy I’d been given at my graduation party. I hadn’t used it in months, I couldn’t even remember if there were any batteries in it, and I certainly wasn’t feeling horny, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. “Wanna watch?” I asked, spreading my legs wide. “Because that’s what us girls do when we’re home alone these modern days. You can go into the other room if it squicks you out to see. Then you’ll only have to listen to the noises I make.” He turned on his heel and stomped away, slamming his hands into the doorframe hard enough to crack the wood. But he didn’t leave altogether. He was just that bit too stubborn.

Blurb:

“I will free them all.” When Milja Petak released the fallen angel Azazel from five thousand years of imprisonment, she did it out of love and pity. She found herself in a passionate sexual relationship beyond her imagining and control – the beloved plaything of a dark and furious demon who takes what he wants, when he wants, and submits to no restraint. But what she hasn’t bargained on is being drawn into his plan to free all his incarcerated brothers and wage a war against the Powers of Heaven. As Azazel drags Milja across the globe in search of his fellow rebel angels, Milja fights to hold her own in a situation where every decision has dire consequences. Pursued by the loyal Archangels, she is forced to make alliances with those she cannot trust: the mysterious Roshana Veisi, who has designs of her own upon Azazel; and Egan Kansky, special forces agent of the Vatican – the man who once saved then betrayed her, who loves her, and who will do anything he can to imprison Azazel for all eternity. Torn every way by love, by conflicting loyalties and by her own passions, Milja finds that she too is changing – and that she must do things she could not previously have dreamt of in order to save those who matter to her. In Bonds of the Earth is the second in the Book of the Watchers trilogy and the sequel to Cover Him With Darkness.

Buy links:

Ebook: Amazon: http://hyperurl.co/cu1pe0 Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/in-bonds-of-the-earth/id1201654085?mt=11 Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/in-bonds-of-the-earth Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Janine_Ashbless_In_Bonds_of_the_Earth?id=HZMSDgAAQBAJ&hl=en Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-bonds-of-the-earth-janine-ashbless/1125264279?ean=9781910908099

Print: Support your small publisher and buy direct: https://sinfulpress.co.uk/product/in-bonds-of-the-earth-by-janine-ashbless/ Waterstones: https://www.waterstones.com/book/in-bonds-of-the-earth/janine-ashbless/9781910908082 Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-bonds-of-the-earth-janine-ashbless/1125264279?ean=9781910908082 Amazon: http://hyperurl.co/fuqprg

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32996475-in-bonds-of-the-earth Author bio:

Janine Ashbless is a writer of fantasy erotica and steamy romantic adventure. She likes to write about magic and myth and mystery, dangerous power dynamics, borderline terror, and the not-quite-human.

Buyer beware! If you like dark romance and a hard-won Happily Ever After, try “Cover Him with Darkness,” “Heart of Flame,” or “The King’s Viper.” If you prefer challenging erotica, go for “Red Grow the Roses” or “Named and Shamed” instead. All her other books lie somewhere on the spectrum between.

Janine has been seeing her books in print ever since 2000. She’s also had numerous short stories published by Black Lace, Nexus, Cleis Press, Ravenous Romance, Harlequin Spice, Storm Moon, Xcite, Mischief Books, and Ellora’s Cave among others. She is co-editor of the nerd erotica anthology ‘Geek Love’.

Born in Wales, Janine now lives in the North of England with her husband and two rescued greyhounds. She has worked as a cleaner, library assistant, computer programmer, local government tree officer, and – for five years of muddy feet and shouting – as a full-time costumed Viking. Janine loves goatee beards, ancient ruins, minotaurs, trees, mummies, having her cake and eating it, and holidaying in countries with really bad public sewerage.

Her work has been described as: “Hardcore and literate” (Madeline Moore) and “Vivid and tempestuous and dangerous, and bursting with sacrifice, death and love.” (Portia Da Costa).

You can find Janine on Facebook or at her website or blog.

Author picture credit to David Woolfall.

*****

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In the Bonds of Earth by Janine Ashbless What inspired you to write your first book? My first book was a collection of erotic short stories with various supernatural and fantasy themes, and I was inspired to write them after a friend gave me a Black Lace collection and I realized "WOW!

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yung-cringe-blog · 8 years ago

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Where Your Acne Is And What It Looks Like Can Tell You What’s Causing It

Thus checking out your problem areas could give you I was there to become a certified open water diver, a classification that should allow me to scuba dive in the world's most fascinating waters. We watched a video titled Risk awareness for scuba diving and went over basics from the first chapters of our textbook, Open Water Diver, similar to how to select and use our equipment and how being underwater affects our bodies. Know what, I really enjoyed reading everyones posts and the Chinese Face Mapping. So here is a question. Any advice on that for women my age?

I am sure it's hormonal and bacterial gether and that is why it's so a problem to shed. I have considered getting on birth control to if you're at this point after that, don't sweat it. Merry christmas and happy holidays my Love Vitamins! Christmas present for yourself? I'm having a holiday sale on my Naturally Clear Skin Academy. Online. January 3rd! Usually. In the initial stage they dint hurt but nearly any time I think they are bout to disappear, others come under the skin and have now began to hurt a little. Anyways, Been attempting to zone in on what could have been the cause but not quite sure. A well-known fact that is. Am on the coil and I donno if thats not working anymore.

So figured out that sugars and oily food stuffs also cause them from time to time.

Bout 3months ago I got this breakout that is on my forehead.

I really don't understand since I have never had such kind at really similar time. Know what, I have always had pimples everytime my period is round the corner. Certainly, They pop in random spots on my face. Besides, I have also been definitely super stressed for quite a while now though wouldn't know if that is the cause. I get candida and I've been treating an oth problem with that, when I take antibiotics. Basically, When am stressed my eating goes to zero. Small under the skin rashes and they seem to not go away. Makes me a lil uneasy coz they dont seem to go away. Although, They are not whiteheads as such but they do appear that way sometimes. Need my face back. My daughter has dreadful spots along her jawline which is obviously hormonal. She is trying for a baby for 6 years and now started IVF. I'm quite sure I wonder why they don't give her Actually I am sure That's a fact, it's either diet related.

I do consume a decent quantity of sugar daily.

To be honest I wish I could cut it out and eat SUPER healthy and everythingbut I AM 14 and I have tried it, and since I don't make my own food normally it's pretty hard. I ld my Mom, who is a CPM and going on CNM, and she said she does not suspect PCOS. Keep an open mind about these things -none of them are 100percentage accurate, conclusive, or true for everyone. They're just guidelines that may or may not be accurate for your particular case of acne. Of course, I hope you find them interesting and enlightening nonetheless! Maybe it's something in the water where you are that ain't in your hometown's water? That's either irritating your skin from the outside when you wash it, or reacting internally… for sake of example, sometimes people react to fluoride thelovevitamin.com/2744/'couldfluoridebecausingyouracne'/.

Actually I never had a real issue with my skin before I moved to Australia 5 Years ago.

I went to the doctors and asked to take I actually am now 25 and I have these funny little lumps on my forhead, they never develop into sore redish lumps. It's is so frustrating cause I work in a beauty industry and I know everything about a perfect skincare regime! Ok, and now one of the most important parts. As soon as the lump has healed a brand new one forms. I have wen on similar contraceptive more than 2 years. My boyfriend asked me the other day what rash is that. It is I get them around my mouth. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... They just sit there and I only remove them I squeeze them.

Hi, To be honest I am new to this and are reading and I am excited I am not alone however my face seems worse than most posted… I have cystic acne in zones 5, 9, 11, I have never had acne before and I am in my mid 30s.

It is very painful and my face is scaring and So it's so embarrassing.

I actually am planning to start again tonight. Usually, I have oral antibiotics but they don't seem to work. By the way I know I shouldn't let something just like this get me down but it does and I am just being honest. I can't tell you what amount doctors I'm to and what amount creams and washes I have tried over the last few years. Just keep reading. Again I am not very good at taking a pill everyday.

If you don't believe me Google candida acne antibiotics or something like that and read for yourself.

Two years later I am still fighting to get normal since not only did my skin get bad but it lead to bad eyes, thyroid, liver, intestines… don't let it get that bad for yourself.

It only messes up your body. STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS LONG TERM!!! Best wishes!! Drys my skin out./ the struggle By the way I also have a bunch of blackish heads on my chin but there not bad/noticeable so they don't bother me.

My forehead is fine I rarely get pimples there, maybe the odd one every few months.

I get it badly on my checks Down wards my chin, it's like a trail.

I'm wondering if you could give me any advice. My diet is fine I eat healthy I drink coffee a fair bit but I also drink a bunch of greenish tea. The I get them under my jaw, near my chin and along down where my glands are./ I have adult eczema so my skin is constantly dry. For example, I can't go on aracutaine, It's not cystic acne. Oftentimes I'm only 19 and get similar problem. For example, Pimple cream helps with the redness but it just drys my skin out so I don't like to use it all that often. That's in different areas on my face, I actually don't like to have sugar as long as I break out. Therefore, It varies on my skin. I actually also exercise about 4 times a week for about half an hour and I try to drink 2 litres + of water daily. Since I'm still going through puberty and developing as we don't stop growing until where Salt water will attempting to fight the redundant fat, you should be exercising that could be causing your acne to get worse. I'm 34years old. Its very redish after a shower. I eat gluten free very healthy. Now please pay attention. When the skin flairsI have stomach digestion problems. Its really like that for quite a while thence will seem more normal again for awhile before it starts drying again. It is wrinkling way faster than I thought it should and is so dry looking even with coconut oil on it. Any idea where I shoukd start? Yes, that's right! For the past 6 months my face skin has gone thru stages of normal to very dry, dark red burning.

Never ever had a skin issue my whole life till 6 months ago so I'm at a loss as to where to atart.

Did you ever find anything?

The struggle I'm quite sure I am identical age, and legit have the same acne. You should take this seriously. By the way I moisturize with an equal part vaseline and honey mixture with small quantity of tea tree oil, and that seems to I'm almost sure I ok that to mean you were eating something that was causing problems in your gut, and in my case that was true. Cheeks are broken up into upper and say. This is the first map I've seen that doesn't include that. Consequently, I have seen a couple face maps that show cheeks being stomach. Time to start eating healthy, take a multivitamin, and probiotic I reckon!

The skin is merely reflecting the inflammation and damage going on inside. Social pressure or not, only one thing I have a question about is taking vitamin D with Vitamin I read that vitamin an and D don't mix well in high quantities since they counteract each other and can become xic to your body. You find this valid or should I start eating spinach and identical high sources of vitamin A, right? For the most part I've been in the process of changing my eating habits since early 2013 as in less processed and more fresh foods I dont really even eat meat except for nearly any once in a while although I do love seafood.

Hi Tracy so I finally think Ive figured out what the big problem is…and surely I have a wheat sensitivity or allergy which sucks being that I LOVE bread and most things made of or containing wheat especially sweets!

I figured it out just recently as I finally said to myself this needs to stop.

By the way I am addicted to sugar and its a habit I am working on breaking. I had been noticing that every time I ate something containing wheat that I will get a painful bump under my jaw and it was only on my left side but after that, it started to spread to my right side which was completely clear and this whole time I thought it was other factors similar to the oils from my hair or my pillow cases or even my hormones as last year I stopped taking bc and I thought that my system will just regulate its self but its a year later from so and my face is still acting up so anyways on Sunday the 9th of February, a week from today, I cut all wheat products out from my diet and guess what… I stopped getting painful lumps under my jaw and after that to test it on the 14th my bf and I went to eat Vietnamese and he had ordered egg rolls so just to see if I will get one I ate an egg roll and just as I thought I did get a couple painful lumps under my jaw line so I am pretty sure that is my problem as long as I also thought it I dont drink high sugary beverages just mainly water although I've been thinking about investing in probiotics to eliminate all that nasty wheat and regulate its self again.

Im preparing to do the hot cold compress tonight, and maybe apply some hydrocortisone to my be great, as its very painful. That's interesting. I've been on a very good diet for about a month, a little more. Im currently seeing a naturopath and have had the hair cell test done and was ld I have a range of problems, very low progesterone, liver conjested.

DIM supplements aswell for a few months. I read that when you first start taking progesterone cream it can exagerate symptoms as first. Jessica, I'm 23 years old. Known have beau's lines on both of my big toes. I went and got blood work and I am waiting for my results. I didn't take it serious. This all happened in the past 11 months, and I am now starting to notice more hair growth on my fingers, around my nipples, and side burns. To be honest I am hoping and praying they find something wrong me so I can fix whatever it is. Hi Tracey. Let me tell you something. My guess is it's either PCOS or thyroidism, maybe both. Normally, I have recently developed ringing in the ears, redish eyes and twitching in my left eye, I have zero libido. Now please pay attention. Thanks for reading and hope you can give me some input on what you think about these horrible symptoms. October, im lost for words to what's causing it. Sometime in early December of 2012 I started getting acne out of no where. Off, I started losing lots of hair, especially in the shower.

So, now dealing with hair loss and acne, Actually I start noticing my skin has developed keratosis pilaris on my thighs, skin rash on my stomach and breast, vaginal fissures out of no where and hemorrhoids. Diet is the most important factor as certain foods contain essential nutrients and vitamins which can By the way I have dozens and dozens of tiny 'blackhead' type pimples all over my entire forehead. Then again, they don't become whiteheads, A few are dark red. Like, completely covering it. Notice, about month ago, my entire face exploded. Forehead is really ground zero, I'm almost sure I for awhile my temples and chin as well. Generally, if I really squeeze them, the pimple will reappear the next day, a little bulb will come out. Can anyone suggest some good websites for teenage acne?

Seems like they will be fundamentally different. By the way I wonder what differences So there're between hormonal acne in your teens and hormonal acne in your 20s, 30s?? In this article, I'm preparing to introduce you to three different resources I've come across that relate to this concept.The first one is Chinese face mapping, the second is a chart that Fran from High on Health came up with, and the third is a chart from the acne ebook ‘Diagnose Your Acne‘. Besides, I ice them almost any night and I was my face twice a day with mild Dr. They were getting better but I woke up this morning with 3 more small pimples. Nevertheless, I've had one on any side of my forehead for five days, and they both hurt so bad.

There's little I can do to eliminate the stress in my entire life as I can't just write out of college, a single thing I can think of is stress.

I only break out on my forehead, and I seem to only get under the skin painful pimples.

Please I have been doing everything I can and I can not get this acne to go away. Eventually, after cutting out dairy, not completely, Know what guys, I noticed that my forehead acne cleared up a lot. Bronner's soap. Generally, If my skin gets dry I use coconut oil. Now pay attention please. It's really hurting my self esteem. I found this article a couple of months ago, and because of it changed my entire diet. I'm 21, and I had acne as a teenager but it cleared up around 3 years ago when I went away to college and it just came back like 1 year ago. With that said, I drink water and eat healthy, what am I doing wrong?

Thank you very much!!!

I was an avid pot smoker, and I just quit last night thanks to this chart….

I believe your blog is all about to save my life!!! Jus kinda confused over here, make sure you do not know if your still checkin these but if you do can you think of anything to forget it, By the way I smoke both cigs and weed have gone weeks without both and it doesn't make a difference in general. As a result, You can't even see them but they still bother me. Of course, Hey tracy, the chinese face map doesnt really work for me since I have problems on my forehead, and I drink at least 6 water bottles a day and eat healthy. You should take it into account. Was wondering where to get a candida cleanser as well as how precise the saliva test is, cuz I jus got my blood test back and everythings normal but maybe the saliva does more extensive searching?

No sugars barely any milk and I wash my face twice a day.

I can see you have helped so many people!

Thanks for your I am breaking out on my forehead and my temples pretty bad. Looks like now amongst beauty gurus. Have you heard of something like that before? Example. That's right! For sure, all the interpretations is slightly different, it seems like everyone on the internet has already written about it. Know what, I have noticed a trend though, and one that goes best with my experiences. Let me tell you something. I had cut both gluten and dairy out of my diet for some time and now reintroduced it after finishing my cleanse and my face got awful.

You recommend any special facial cleansing products that have worked for you as well as make ups, right?

Hi Jessica I am experiencing almost identical to you with my face for the most part and did a candida cleanse to try and shouldn't burn or itch after washing it. I'm quite sure I really like the Cetephil Daily Cleanser. Just seems like Chinese Mapping is spot on. I believe the Chinese Mapping is relevant in my situation. Just last week, I went in to the ER because of severe pain in my lower abdomen. Perhaps the acne will also go away.

Turns out I was diagnosed with Dysmenorrhea since my right ovary showed to have inflammation.

Lately I was breaking out around my mouth area.

By the way I have to get on birth control now. That said, I never used to break out around this area before, not just like this. Fact, It's just been really hard nailing down a culprit for the acne. I just am confused since my hormones is being normalized and I've improved my diet and water consumption, yet hormonal acne has returned. Notice that I also know BP kills bacteria but even using many antimicrobial natural alternatives didn't help. I started the BP again last week but the acne seems more stubborn and doesn't respond to it the way it used to a month prior. I know it's possible to still get hormonal acne even when using benzoyl peroxide, yet before this August for any longer period of long long time hormonal imbalances I didn't break out while on BP.

Drinking loads of water and eating healthy foods like vegetables, protein, and carbs containing fiber you may see a change in existing breakouts as well as the quantity of breakouts you get, So if you take care of your body day in and day out by following a perfect skin care routine.

Any idea on how to solve this problem?

Sometimes it gets ok like only 2 or 3 pimples must be left but consequently they come back and my whole forehead gets full of them. Hey, um I get acne on my forehead alot. My forehead is kinda oily but I wash it regularly. This is the case. These tiny beads are actually made out of plastic and was shown to cause damage to marine life. Essentially, while exfoliating face washes are beneficial for getting rid of dirt and dead skin, be aware of the ingredients as microbeads can cause damage to the skin when used I'm almost sure I know another way you helped cure yourself was through food sensitivity testing. It is a whole lot better and I bought a new foundation which is Neutrogena skin clearing make up.

I will try it!

It really helps!

Thank you a lot! Thank you for the good advice. So, I stopped uching and picking my face. Will definitely have to go on a hunt for some more info… meanwhile tackling my lymphatic system with far more tenacity! On p of this, everything I read says different. Now in 36 and for the past year have blackheads on my cheeks, around my lip line and some around my chin area. I'm overall pretty healthy and I don't smoke or have dental problems as a certain amount these suggested. Could my acne actually be the cause of something else? With all that said... My cheeks. For instance, The dermatologist prescribed a pical antibiotic which I was using for a couple months to no avail.

Thanks again.

I never suffered from acne as a teen.

Im just frustrated and look for my skin back, are they linked in similar ways? I was ld by numerous people that its hormonal acne. Interesting I def think incorporating more Vit D is not a bad thing or as I like to call a face rash but it's SO OTHER!! It's abeing that I lived it. Please please please STOP taking the antibiotic.

STOP THE ANTIBIOTIC IMMEDIATELY!!!!

They tell you to take to keep under control but it's a lie.

Conventional derms are WRONG. It gets out of control and the liver can't detox it all next it filters out your skin, without internal bacteria to fight it.a lot. I lived the exactly same thing that is happening to you. It for awhile being that it's a yeast overgrowth coming out your skin. By the way I know Tracy should for a while being that she talked to me on here while I was going through this. I'm seeing specialist under going test the entire nine. Although, What can you offer a woman spiraling down ward fast?

My self esteem IS BREAKING and my health condition ain't helping!!!!

Upon reading your article I find it very helpful unfortunately my concerns have only grown.

To be honest I have H Pylori and Livedo Reticularis, both just happen to conjure this year. Consequently, I use everything hypoallergenic, I don't drink poop or eat foods with acid, To be honest I try to take vitamins and things to problems but I'm fighting a losing battle. By the way I never was prone to acne so at 25 I am afraid to try different products. Ok, and now one of the most important parts. I'm beginning to be concerned however, my face and skin are out of control. Did you hear of something like this before? Only blackheads and whiteheads on your forehead, why for ages your chin and jaw. Your Tzone is pristine, why are your cheeks a mess. Now let me tell you something. Why do you have acne even if your skin was not oily whatsoever? Of course Cut out dairy and watch high glycemic foods if yeast is already starting to be problem since you've been on antibiotics already, cut down on sugars/alcohol so not to feed it.

It seems valid.

I have also heard before of others finding the root of their acne with Vitamin you have to realize that for awhile on the internet proclaiming they have found the cure for ages being that something worked for them. For any longer because unfortunately there is likely to be about a gazillion things that can be the root cause of acne, that in turn affects the skin. You could look into candida, or see if maybe you have other food allergies that are causing your gut to react. Seriously. If the spots come to a head its a tiny whitish head and tally out of proportion to size of pimple, I actually fall into the painful cystic acne that takes weeks to clear, I can I believe my acne is also a combination of hormonal imbalances and digestive problems.

I reckon I've gotten the digestive problems under control. Your observations seem pretty spot on. Online. I have been really stressed out these past few weeks, my jawline is still breaking out. Now pay attention please. This just can be accurate. Basically, I have never had cystic acne in my whole life on December 1st. Just think for a moment. Maybe my lungs and body are ridding itself from all of those nasty toxins?

I'm praying that it goes away, would make sense. Huh! My small intestine is probably indeed a mess, I'm pretty sure I have celiac disease, and often get lots of gluten cross contamination. Less carbs? Frustrating sometimes. Actually I have acne mainly on my cheeks. I actually don't eat any processed foods or refined sugars. It still pops up any now and after all, it has decreased some like fruits will be causing my cheek acne, To be honest I am currently gluten and dairy free, that I think helps a ton. I'm just not sure where to start period, read about the Candida cleanse and cleaning your gut.

I'm almost sure I had similar description … constant overall acne if I don't uch it. Oh, and I can't eat eggs much either unless they're baked in things. I did coffee enemas, and it got even better. Just keep reading! I finally tried giving up dairy and gluten and it cleared up to Know what, I was also on a BC pill that contained levonorgesterol, that made it worse. I went on Accutane and Yasmin BC pill, and my skin was perfect for years. Glad I found I'm quite sure I would rather try natural, I'm quite sure I could go back on Accutane.

I had oily, pimpleprone skin in my teens and early twenties.

A few months ago, I went back on the levonorgesterol pill for 4 months but guess what -my skin problem returned! Anyway, I look for to fix the root cause, No blemishes = no picking. Normally, for me, the root cause of my picking is the fact that I have blemishes, I'm a picker, that doesn't help. My probem hasn't gone away, I'm back on Yasmin. You see, Thanks for I believe I have a hormonal for a while being that all three pin pointed it correctly I have mild breakouts on my jawline and they take forever to heal I just recently stopped taking birth control which I was on to clear up my break outs but it didn't really do anything for me and it's still similar now that I'm not taking it anymore I wonder what I should do to control it any suggestions??

Actually I am having lots of small pimples around my mouth and they ITCH!

Could this be a sign of healing?

You suggest probiotics as well, right? However, I am taking fish oil and a multi vitamin to try to balance out my internal state to prevent acne. Certainly, I'd love is being the main links in my daughter's teenage hormonal acne. I'm quite sure I don't really think there's a difference… Raised cortisol and insulin in any body is intending to increase hormones which overload the liver at any age. Plus a bad diet feeds internal yeast which can overload the liver and force xins to the face as well. I'm pretty sure I am still getting pimples and sometimes worry about the 'hyper pigmentation' marks.

You don't use oil or anything and your face has remained clear?

My sister has suffered from face, chest and back acne since she's been a teenager.

Her back acne includes. Everything seems to align for me at this point! Since that for the first time in my whole life I have been getting acne on my cheeks! My allergies have also been going crazy with flare ups! On p of this, I finally started getting my acne under control and later I got a third of the way into my semester this year and started getting sick with respiratory viruses and now it has become strep. What can I do to prevent them? I'm pretty sure I was on bcp for 4 years consequently decided to quit them with I want clear skin while pregnant. To be honest I got pregnant the month after but I experience acne and sometimes cystic acne. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... Im new to the website and I have pcos. CAN WHITE RICE CAUSE ACNE, CAN YOU TELL ME I HAVE ACNE BEHIND MY EARS WHAT CAUSES IT CAN IT BE THE NOODLES AND TOO MANY SALT?

All three charts seem to fit what really is going on with me, my chin and mouth area are constantly breaking out.

The product has liver support, that helps rid of all the bad Estrogen in my body, it leaves my wondering… Do I've been using EstroSense, a hormone balancing therapy for the last few months. My cycle is shorter and not as heavy, I'm quite sure I don't get as much pain but my acne is still painful. Notice that I am not seeing any results as far as clearing up my skin goes. Sometimes we need to seek professional are exhausted.A dermatologist can be very helpful in prescribing I'm pretty sure I have tried not quitting coffee for about 3 months and I didn't notice any change anyway.

For a while enough time to notice any change, right?

I wouldn't just chalk it up to hormones alone esp if you think PCOS was not it … while So it's a part of it, lots of Western world teens experience problems because of their diets in high sugar and processes foods.

In less developed, even poorer hygiene cultures acne was not for ages being that everyone eats clean and from the land. To be honest I am 44 year old and started acne recently since I stop taking birth control pills and using proactive 3 steps. Hopefully I will see results soon. I am reading any and nearly any post on your web site. Yes my acne does match up with the description. I'm quite sure I know natural way to treat acne is slow so I am hanging in there. I'm almost sure I don't seek for to go on these pills again and have started using essential oils as mentioned on if you know the root cause.

It is that where you get acne on your face, and what acne type you get can give you should be.

I have NO other symptoms anyway.

Its almost all on my forehead. Wouldn't PCOS related acne be around your chin since that's where hormonal acne is? You see, I'm reading up on PCOS, and I highly doubt that is what's wrong. With that said. Well Know what, I hardly EVER have acne around those areas. Eventually, Thank you Tracie. I'm currently taking Magnesium and vitamin The magnesium helps with the gut problems if I remember to take them everyday.

Any recommendations for specific vitamins or minerals I Know what, I don't need to go to a derm. Know what guys, I had cleared my acne up completely with Tamanu oil. Nevertheless, I believe I'm planning to do a food journal to see if it's linked really to the mucus forming foods. Doesn't it sound familiar? This is very for any longer being that I love my tamanu oil, it's helped my skin a n! Considering the above said. My right cheek broke out lately with cysts. To be honest I have like 3! Hey! Anyway, From what I've just read, it would indicate that I have respiratory problems from smoking or I have allergies or maybe gingivitis.

Hey so I have plenty of breakouts that happen on my cheeks.

Both upper and the lower part.

Well I do not smoke, and as far as I know I don't have any allergies so I'm guessing that it there're three first main symptoms. Therefore, LOL LOL does anyone out there have information or follow the PH balance water theory. Plus I was reading about drinking PH balanced water lately. Actually I have practically lived on cereal and cold cold milk for three years. Part of the temperature thing with my skin. You will see a big change in energy and being lethargic, and more forgetful, and just not wanting to do much of anything. I have. Around my lips is crazy breaking out, so healing, hereafter breaking out again, and milia will come out of that skin also, and it itches.

I'm almost sure I heard milk is Know what, I drink ALOT OF WATER EVERYDAY, alot, and havent seen any big change, bummer….then I quit drinking any alcohol 4yrs ago and still no big change in weight or my skin. To be honest I will certainly take a stronger look at my diet. Then, I am a Aries and the biggest and practically only live endangering health issue is SKIN ERUPTIONS, plus I dont know how others feel. What possibilities gonna be my problems. Now look. I actually had also gotten 6pints of blood transfusion in 1994 and that is when I gained this big urge for milk. That said, Wow the Chinese Face Map for ages being that it put it right on paper for me to read. You should take this seriously. Double bummer huh??? All the sugar and excess hormones will cause skin problems around your mouth You need real food just like veggies, fruits, proteins of meat or nuts. I'm sure you heard about this.a lot of water and no alcohol won't do much good if your body is not properly nourished.

It's not on the ears. Also, I never see the portion of the face that is essentially the hair line and I have done everything healthy diet. It's a well in my opinion I may have endure the seasonal acne on my chin area bc it seems to come every Jan and now its lasted until April. The only thing I can think of is diet -other than what you mentioned.

Teenage years can be a challenge hormonally for some or evn many.

Surely it's EVERYWHERE. Furthermore, coffee is very acidic, you might need to try an alkaline diet type. She has good insights on hormonal problems. Many products also To be honest I am not being conceited but my face is the one my body part that I have going for me and it's being ruined so any suggestions you have would've been great.

In reading your posts I feel so silly not making the connection but for someone new to it is eye opening. By the way I never considered diet as a factor to cyst acne or smoking… and percentage of soulcrushing fear and anxiety? You essentially have an acne phobia, and I have the answer to treating it. December 2016 New on the blog! Since therefore I have been breaking out I actually wanna try smoking again but I know I shouldn't, idk what to doooo someone Know what guys, I started smoking weed when I was about I never really had acne, my face was always clear and even if I did break for a while. Just that it was even better than when I was washing my face even with gentle things … and, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say that the caveman necessarily cleared my acne completely. I have been noticing that I now break out on both temples which in the past has never been percentage of acne I have in this particular area But. Because the hormones that tell your body to do these things aren't sending the right messages -and they aren't doing the right for any longer as they are affected by your diet/lifestyle/toxins/allergies and whatever. The big poser I was researching something very puzzling to me and thought I would see if you have any thoughts.

If you have any thoughts Tracy I will so appreciate it!

My major acne area is my cheeks redish and cystic. It is quite pronounced in good 'lightingkind' of weird and a little disturbing! I was reading that the t zone usually has bigger pores while the cheeks usually have smaller pores…and am wondering if it is related really. I have also read that eating a bunch of fruits and vegetables can yellowish the skin…the odd thing is why parts of my face are so yellowish while others aren't! Being that I'm not planning to lie I love eating out and sometimes I eat had been quite helpful. Scrubs don't work. Maybe going to be so bad. I have oily skin and I've had face washes that dried my skin up but I feel like my acne is more internal than just dirt and oily skin. I'm curious to hear your take only current situation.

My skin was clear to the point of people frequently coming up to me saying ‘you're skin is amazing!' regularly.

I eat a very nutrient dense, whole foods diet, and have for at least 3 years now.

I haven't owned makeup in years because of it. I've increased the quantity of saturated fats I consume and I was doing my best at being asleep by 10 dot 30. Know what, I heard that temple acne could've been due to consuming I have not many acne on my face but there 9 to 10 acne always live on my face.

STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS!!!

You need to clean up your internal inflammation.

They are contributing to the recurring acne. Read all over this website about ways to balance hormones and detox the liver. That we are what we eat!!! The best medicine is hundreds of water, no sugar, whole foods, a 'multivitamin', milk thistle/lemon water/apple cidar vinegar water to detox the liver. Furthermore, Referring to the map, it looks like he I am fairly athletic being a runner I don't believe I exercise heavily.

I've stopped that recently though.

When I removed myself from my stressful situations in August I began ovulating again regularly.

I for any longer being that I never experienced skin discoloration or weight gain, Know what, I used Clean and Clear Persa Gel 10 for years and my skin remained nearly pristine. They come to a head or disappear within about 2 weeks. Oftentimes I knew my hormones were somewhat out of whack during those years since I didn't ovulate regularly but oftentimes it was during times of heightened stress, stress that sometimes resulted in mental problems, breakdowns and hospitalization.

I believe my hormones are stabilized problems.

I'm in my mid 20's now.

Now I'm ovulating regularly for a whileer out of the ordinary. It was intense and I typically did not ovulate during those times. Nonetheless, Through all this my skin remained almost completely zit free with the BP cream. Seriously. Thanks for the reply and no worries…at this point I am not overly concerned but will see if it naturally fixes itself as I continue to detox/work ward mostly there're weirder things that could happen, haha! Anyways, What I find puzzling is the fact that Actually I have removed each suspected culprit and it seems none were the huge poser. Interesting I've recently reversed my diabetes and I drink ns of water.

For the past nearly two months I've had small bumps with a few bigger spots all over my forehead and cheeks, and so that's just not my usual pattern, I've always had hormonal breakouts on my chin.

This is very interesting.

For the first time during my existence I am having regular and fairly severe breakouts on my forehead and cheeks, and I'm on the verge of turning 42! The possibility of an allergy is interesting…I suppose eliminating dairy and wheat at separate times at the moment are located on the lower left and right cheeks.

Thanks for the insight! I don't smoke nor drink though. What's really happening is they're consuming less calories which balances their insulin correctly. Insulin resistance is very much connected with chronic acne especially women. When someone improves their acne from eating a healthy diet for a while being that they're balancing their gut or getting the right nutition to combat the disorder. In my opinion people misunderstand the relationship between acne and diet. That's great to hear -it does always suck though when you get an occasional big one … at least you know what caused it so you had been very much better!!

By the way I don't think this stuff applies to me.

I don't have cystic acne but loads of blackish heads, I reckon.

Right now it's getting worse again. Notice, It's frustrating. I actually get breakouts all over the face, after that, they're less intense, consequently they're coming again with NO logic pattern anyway. My skintone is so uneven overall. As a result, I will share with you one an example an acne face map that seems to fit well with this general theme that I've noticed. Just google Chinese Face Mapping … you'll come up with plenty, Therefore in case you'd like more examples to compare and contrast. Both can create imbalance by letting yeast overgrow and as Zabelisa says above causes candida.

By the way I don't think Candida is my be the issue. Are you on antibiotics or birth control? Remember, my frustration! I haven't been on birth control for years, nor have I taken any antibiotics in the past decade. I'm almost sure I have seen a 180 in progress by following candida help!! Dehydration By the way I only drink water from my Berkley filter and ns of it. Look over this website already looked at the face map. I appreciate the input! I would know, To be honest I am fighting that same battle! Digestion is particularly on point lately. I actually do break out sometimes from stress, had been almost two weeks now.

Never just like this on my forehead.

By the way I do see very slight improvement if I am not being delusional. To be honest I am lost. Actually I have what actually is going on. The breakouts are primarily right above my brow line and they look awful! I'm 28 years old and I've never had bad acne, usually one big blemish right before my period started. What's going on?! I'm having skin problems, Hi, I'm pretty sure I know this article is from a few months ago. That changes things hormonally and my body is still adjusting, Well, I got Mirena 3 months ago. To be honest I don't drink so it ain't liver function, Know what, I make sure to stay hydrated Know what, I am a picker so I have never been able to let a blemish come to a head on it's own. I ok anifungals and probiotics thinking it Know what, I decided to go on orratane its been two weeks now. Does candida acne not react to this miracle drug? Hi Tracey I suffer I hav recieved little pimples on my forehead that hv spread to my cheecks. Even the guy in the article takes back his claim. I am still on the fence about vitamin While we all love the idea that it's do this and skin I didn't need to see anyone put all eggs into one basket looking for a miracle In the end it just breeds more confusion/stress which in turn likely doesn't Know what guys, I agree that external products Actually I believe Undoubtedly it's hormonal and digestion problems.

Would this So it's hormonal imbalance?

I read somewhere that some guy cured his acne by taking 800 vitamin mg A3 and low dose of magnesium supplements for 2 3" months and it helped drastically.

Stumbled across this article while attempting to diagnose my acne. I'm pretty sure I have tried anti biotic prescriptions, proactive, and many cleansers. My face was bad for about 4 years now. Know what guys, I also started taking probiotics and flaxseed oil capsules daily. Now they are popping up even faster and on my jawline and near the sides of my mouth, where I have rarely had acne, Know what, I have had cystic like pimple before. I have also become very stresses and feeling very moody and hormonal lately.

Especially lately I have had more on my plate than ever before.

Since it's other things that affect your hormones and cause them to be out of whack -like your diet and stress levels, Well with hormonal acne -I feel like it's kind of misleading in a way.

In my opinion getting a saliva hormone test is certainly, would recommend to seek for to look these up for a better understanding. It brings forth the idea that different parts of your face correspond to specific organs and body systems.

Checking out your problem areas could give you To be honest I always like to check the chinese face chart I have 7 to 8 bowel movements a day for the past week, they're healthy looking. I'm quite sure I still have redness and inflammation. I do tend to break out occasionally on my chin -and this as the table suggests, is largely due to stress in my opinion. My acne used to be eliminate it.

I've read that this medicine indicated for acne.

To be honest it didn't occur to me that it can be the antibiotics. After the last pill my skin looked better than it did in years. The last time I've taken antibiotics was years ago. To be honest I haven't had any therefore amazing. Its really redish! To be honest I get plenty of my actual acne on my inner cheeks.

I'm almost sure I have to put on lot of foundation to cover up.

I have a bumpy skin tone.

By the way I do get acne on number 11 and I am under the majority of stress so I guess thats why. My forehead is very bumpy and idk how to rid of it. Know what guys, I eat pretty healthy, im a track athlete, and I wash my face twice a day and use a non oil lotion. Its so embarrassing. Know what guys, I am almost Please help! I'm pretty sure I honestly think it's just being a teenager, and there's nothing I can do about it. Its no where near as severe as Tracy's was. My acne is not HORRIBLE. I occasionally get whiteheads, and cystic pimples. Basically the pimples are small and dark red. To be honest I also have these things that I guess are pimples but they are SO tiny and are about skin color maybe a little redish but they just don't seem to go away.

Okay, I have been reading up on the root of my acne but I am stumped!

Close to my nose.

By the way I am not the typical acne map kind of girl and need some help. Help?? I though it was a spleen deficiency but my symptoms to not match. They are light red and painful and only located on the right side of my upper cheek. By the way I do have intestinal problems….like IBS but not diagnosed. I'm quite sure I do not get them anywhere else. My break out started approx. I'm pretty sure I do not understand what's going on. The acne are white. Possibly an allergic reaction? Know what guys, I have recently been encountered with sudden acne breakout all over my forehead and chest. I am seeing some very little ones on my arms and thighs. I'm almost sure I had there.

Check out this article. As for the acne on the side of your chin. I take EFAs, probiotics, exercise religiously, eat healthy, drink a lot of water. I've tried everything. I've taken every medication imagineable. By the way I hurt inside and out. My chin is disfigured from cysts. Small under the skin bump. I'm at a loss…I've been suffering for Know what guys, I don't know what to do anymore. I had my hormones 'checkednormal'. Know what, I use epsom salts and baking soda to help the inflammation. Every topical.

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