#I love that Olli just gets Paul straight away :')

[onlymywishfulthinking]

Paul & Olli - 1x08 / 1x09 

[pxperplxnets]

through the month.

summary: some scenarios and situations ollie and lia went through over their month.

pairing: ollie bearman x lia alfonso

ollie and lia character descriptions

word count: 1851

warnings: language

lowercase intended!

part one - previous part

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lia’s and aurora’s alliance

two days after the dare was placed, lia found herself sitting at one of prema’s garages, headphones on while watching some f3 practice runs.

she had been trying to think about how she was going to approach ollie to win the dare. for it to be an actual win, he had to fall in love with her, not any fake personalities. she was just going to act normal, flirt with him and hope for that to be enough.

just as she decided that, aurora walked into the garage. she talked to a few engineers momentarily before walking towards lia. “hello” she waved, making lia smile at her. they decided to head out to the cafeteria and eat something before the boys joined them.

they talked about everything and anything. aurora told her the story of how she found out that paul liked her back and they had a weird more-than-friends-but-not-dating situation and she didn't know how to approach him about it, it was even weird to talk to him as if they didn't hate each other a few months ago.

“how’s the dare going, by the way?” aurora asked, not wanting to talk more about herself. “well, i’ve known him for three days, so i can't really know what his reactions mean.” lia sighed, moving a strand of her short hair off her face. “oh! i’ve got an idea!” aurora said excitedly, making lia raise her eyebrows “i know ollie like the palm of my hand, flirt with him and i’ll see how he reacts!” it might have been a questionable idea, but at that moment it sounded like the best idea someone had ever had.

later on, when ollie and jak entered the cafeteria, the two girls saw it as the perfect opportunity. “hey jak, can you help me find paul?” aurora asked the younger driver, giving him a look that immediately notified him of the real purpose. “yeah, sure.” he agreed and they both stood up, leaving only to hide on a table far away, making sure that ollie didn't see them.

ollie cleared his throat, trying to ease the silence that sat in between them. “so… how was practice?” the girl asked “it was good. pablo told me you were watching me, actually.” he smiled at the faint blush that adorned her cheeks. “yeah.. i had to leave though, it was getting way too hot” she smirked. he quickly understood that she wasn't talking about the weather, which made his cheeks go red. she smiled smugly at this, making him roll his eyes at her look.

he wasn't going to let her win.

“i think that might be normal around you though, don't you think?” that broke her, she couldn't keep a straight face or help the rush of crimson that overtook her cheeks. she covered her face with her palms, making him laugh faintly.

aurora and jak observed the situation from afar. deciding that lia looked defeated enough, they both stood up and went back to the table. the pair blurted a random excuse about not finding paul and sat down. lia started speaking to jak almost immediately, clearly trying to change the current embarrassed energy that surrounded them.

a buzz from her phone made lia look at the screen.

                                       rora<3

he likes you. i think you have to up your flirting skills tho, you looked more embarrassed than him lmao.

read at 3:07 p.m

lia couldn’t help but smile at the text. she shut her phone, sending a smile in auroras way before placing her attention back on the conversation the boys held.

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discoveries and faint jealousy.

ollie, jak, paul, and dino sat next to a football field. they had just finished filming the wheelbarrow video, and were now waiting for arthur and dennis to finish so they could know who won. they talked while sometimes watching the two boys, laughing at how loud arthur naturally was.

their conversation circled back to the dare lia had proposed, making ollie the centre of the boy’s attention. “okay but question, do you lose if you like, kiss her?” dino asked. “i don't think so, it wouldn't mean you're in love with her” paul shrugged. “why would i kiss her in the first place?” ollie’s question sounded more defensive than it was supposed to, which made his friends laugh. “we know you think she’s hot. don't you want to know if she’s a good kisser as well?”

dino had a point. ollie would be lying if he said he hadn't wondered how it would feel to kiss her, but again, he didn't want to lose the dare.

“she is.” jak’s statement shocked everyone. “wait, what?” paul’s voice sounded as flabbergasted as his face proved him to be. jak laughed at their faces. “dude, me and lia have known each other for forever, we’ve made out a couple times.” he really didn't know if he should be offended or amused at how confused his friends were at the thought of him kissing lia.

ollie ignored the pang of jealousy he felt, deciding to focus on the confusion jak’s confession made him feel. hadn't they said they were almost like siblings?

“i thought you guys were like siblings?” he couldn't stop the words coming from his mouth, he just prayed he didn't sound as jealous as he was. “we are, but there was a summer when we were like 15 that we decided to see if we were actually ‘meant for each other’ like everyone said we were. shocker, we are not, we are just both talented kissers.” jak shrugged, looking directly into oliver’s eyes with a humorous smile.

“imagining you and lia making out just gives me the creeps” dino spoke, making an exaggerated disgusted face “i know, but it's kinda normal though. have you and aurora ever kissed?” jak looked at ollie with a raised brow. “i mean, once when we were like 5 because her older sister married us, and once in 7th grade for a dare” ollie’s eyes went to paul, fearing for murder to find him smiling to himself.

“you got more jealous than paul, that's just shameful” jak laughed, making ollie roll his eyes. “shut up… look they’re finished” ollie found salvation on arthur and dennis reaching the finish line.

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ollie’s realisation.

lia sat in jak’s living room. it was the boy’s free day, and they were both sleeping late.

it was already 12:26p.m when ollie came out of his room, looking sleepy and with a bedhead. “morning, sleeping beauty” lia laughed at his sleepy smile, a fuzzy feeling growing inside of her at the sight. “morning” his hoarse voice made her heart skip a beat. “there’s food in the fridge, by the way” she smiled and turned back to her sketchbook after hearing his small ‘thanks.’

ollie sat on the couch in front of her, soaking in the way she looked while drawing. she looked relaxed. free.

“is the food good?” her voice snapped him out of his trance “yeah” her smile grew wider at his words. it was a simple avocado toast, but he liked it. “i thought i could make you food for once, since you always cook.” he smiled at her fondly.

she looked so proud of the fact that he liked her food that he promised himself to like everything she cooked from that point on. he could eat cardboard and love it if it meant he could see her smile that way.

since when was he willing to eat cardboard for her?

since when was he willing to eat cardboard for anyone, really?

he decided to ignore the thought, focusing on finishing his food as he watched her draw. “what are you drawing?” his curiosity got the best of him “nothing that concerns you” the girl stuck her tongue out at him, smiling mischievously. “wow, rude” ollie faked offence “but really, what is it?” he insisted, making her sigh “i’ll show you once i finish it, okay? pinky promise” 

she stuck her pinky finger towards him. his smile grew wider on his face as he laced their fingers together. lia brought her own hand to her lips and kissed it, maintaining eye contact in between them.

when did eye contact become so hot?

the boy repeated her actions, his brown eyes crashing against her green ones. her cheeks were overtaken by a faint crimson colour before she looked away, untangling their fingers and moving further back into the couch. they proceeded to have small conversations here and there until jak woke up, joining them and breaking the moment in between them.

a couple days later, when ollie had just gotten out of the shower, he noticed a strange paper situated on his desk. he picked it up and saw the most beautiful piece of art he had ever seen. it was a picture of him, looking to the side while wearing his fda shirt. he could only assume it was painted in watercolours, and damn, it was gorgeous.

as he held it closer to the light to see it better, he saw black ink on the other side of the paper. as he turned it around, he found a small note in lia’s handwriting.

i always fulfil my pinky promises, i hope you like it.

                                                                        - lia<3

he stared at the art piece with a lovesick face for a couple seconds before realisation hit him. he had lost. he was completely and utterly in love with lia alfonso.

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lia’s realisation

lia sat on the prema box during the f3 race. her headphones allowed her to listen to ollie’s radio.

he was leading the race and only had 5 laps left when he notified his engineer about the steering wheel filling funny. just as he was going into the box, he seemed to lose control of the car, as it hit a bump and spun into a wall.

a gasp left lia’s mouth as her heart stopped. her eyes filled with tears immediately as ollie didn't answer his engineers calls. “yeah, im okay.” she breathed hard, a wave of relief hitting her chest at the sound of his groggy voice.

oliver was brought back to the prema hospitality, where he was checked for any injuries before entering the room where lia was. the girl rushed to him, enveloping him in her arms, taking him by surprise. the surprise faded when he heard her quiet sobs, only to be replace with a warmth on his heart.

“im okay, love. im okay” he pressed her further into him, kissing the top of her head. “that was so scary” she whispered against his chest when her crying ceased. “i know, but im here and im okay, i promise” the boy whispered into lia’s hair. she separated lightly from him, holding her up her pinky. he laced his finger with hers, kissing his hand before she kissed hers to seal the promise.

when ollie pulled her in for another hug, she realised how scared she had been to the thought of losing him.

fuck.

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authors note:

hello, beautiful people! i have to say i really liked writting this.

i wanted to give ollie and lia’s story a bit more depth so i thought writing small scenarios was a good way to do that. now that i’m done with these i’m going to keep going with the story from where we left off (the conffession)

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

(image description: eight sketchbook drawings of characters holding a variety of pride flags, all nude and posed in ways that match some old fine art pieces. The nudity has been censored with cute digital flower stickers. end description.)

Characters:

Dalmar, intersex man. Kouto, nonbinary. Chacha, agender. Parva, nonbinary. Xulic and Kidron, genderqueer. Obeli (or Abuela) Moruga, genderqeer. Olli, demiguy. Sajak, genderqueer.

Genderqueer is kind of my default for "well, biologically and culturally, they already don't have binary sex or gender, so they kinda default to genderqueer." And I know maybe some people will be bothered by that, but it's just part of the worldbuilding I've written around all these non-human and frequently non-mammalian species of people.

The uncensored version is on my Patreon page. I do have one more drawing to add to this series, but since it's four child characters I will not need to worry about adding any censors and keeping the original image only on my patreon, as they will simply be wearing their pride flags as whole outfits.

The previous part of this, my binary trans characters, can be found over here.

detailed character descriptions and explanations of the pose references under the cut

Dalmar Ubora, a black intersex elf man with short black hair. He is holding his arms up as he holds the intersex flag, mimicking the pose of Virgin Mary from Titian's painting "The Assumption of the Virgin". The shading was washed out by the photo, but his belly is still clearly round from pregnancy. Dalmar is an interesting case, in that he was assigned male at birth based on his outward appearance, continues to identify as male throughout his life, but finds during puberty that what was believed to be an undeveloped penis was actually just a non functional body part. Instead, what actually developed to full functionality was his uterus. He still identifies as a straight cis man, and has come to terms with his body. He is married to a medically transitioned trans woman, and he could undergo operations to change his body if he wanted to. Instead, he has embraced his body and even birthed some children who were conceived via sperm donations. This is why I wanted a Mary pose for him, and this painting in particular is about Mary being welcomed into heaven as a blessed holy woman. Dalmar may not be a miraculous holy figure, but there is a reverence in the way he has come to love his body and chosen to bear children, including the surrogate birth of his brother's child.

Kouto Hayashi-Loryck, a slender nonbinary elf with black hair tied into a bun. They are holding the nonbinary flag and standing in the pose of a statue known as "Apollo Belvedere", which is so old no one knows the artist's name. One arm raised, one lowered, legs in the relaxed contrapposto pose. Kouto is an artist and an art model. Apollo is a god of the arts, and regarded as a beautiful and sexual figure. Kouto is bisexual and admittedly a very sexual and flirtatious person. They did settle into a happy marriage though (actually they are Dalmar's in-law and the sperm donor for the aforementioned surrogate birth.) Marriage has not stopped Kouto's flirtations, merely limited their targets to a singular person. It felt right to give him this pose, from a pretty well known portrayal of Apollo. Beauty, art, and sex, all defining traits of Apollo and Kouto alike, all present in a pose where the figure seems to be reaching for something above them.

Chacha Faraji, an agender black elf with short hair. They are facing away from the viewer, seated on a stool that is covered by the draped agender flag. No physical traits that could betray their agab are visible. Chacha is sitting in the pose of Reubens' painting "Venus at the Mirror". The arm closest to the viewer ends at the elbow, while they hold a mirror in front of their face with their one whole arm. Their face is seen reflected, smiling, little wrinkles visible by their eyes. I chose this painting in part because it did allow me to obscure Chacha's agab. They were my first nonbinary character, and I never really settled on an agab. But also, I enjoy putting characters who have unconventional bodies into poses associated with Venus or Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty. Chacha is missing half an arm, they are getting older and it shows in the wrinkles on their face. Chacha is also Aromantic and Asexual, the full queer triple A battery. The mirror pose has become an independence of beauty. "Look but don't touch." Chacha is beautiful, and they do not need to be beautiful for anyone but themself.

Parva Turbatus, a white nonbinary elf with shoulder length curly hair that has been shaved down on the far side of their head. They are holding the nonbinary flag, standing in the slightly closed off pose found in Paul Gariot's painting "Pandora's Box". One hand on their chest, one hand held out to hold the flag. They have top surgery scars on their chest and a c-section scar on their navel, though all of these have unfortunately been hidden by the flower censors. I chose a pandora pose for Parva because they have one of the most intense tragic backstories of any of my characters. Like Pandora opening the box, they have suffered through many things but came out the other side with Hope, and healing.

Xulic Vos and Kidron Engedi, a drow and a lizard person. They are sharing the genderqueer flag. Xulic has long ears and white hair in a braid, with a white monkey-like tail barely visible behind their legs. Kidron looks like a leopard gecko, and their tail is acting as a visual block in fron of Xulic's groin. They are standing together in the central pose of Raphael's "School of Athens" fresco. Xulic is pointing one hand up to the sky, while Kidron holds one hand palm down towards the earth. Xulic's chest is visibly flat, however I have rewritten the drow as a eusocial people, who's biology has made most of the common population infertile and visibly near identical above the waist. Xulic's agab is unknown to anyone but them, and perhaps their reptilian lover Kidron. Both drow and lizard folk have biology and cultures that do not really support a gender binary, so genderqueer suits them both quite well. I chose the School of Athens pose because these characters are scientists in fields that overlap, and they often get into deep discussions on the matter. Xulic is a paleontologist while Kidron is a geologist, and they have another friend (my protagonist) who studies archaeology.

Obeli (or Abuela) Moruga, an elderly goblin with sagging skin and axolotl-like frills on the sides of her head. She grins as she holds the gender queer flag, partly draped over the tall stool she is seated on. Her pose matches that of John Collier's "Priestess of Delphi" painting, which depicts a woman hunched over herself on a stool. Old Obeli Moruga, whose title best translates to "grandmother" is a significant figure in her community, both because of her more practical role as a leader and wise woman, but also because she has gained immortality and become an incarnation of Life Itself, after she was given the offer of such power when she nearly died in the goblin revolution. There are many figures that would suit her. Poses from statues of goddesses, like Athena or Gaia. Perhaps turning away from the theme of greek and roman figures I ended up with for my nonbinary group (dalmar is his own thing) and using the famous painting of Liberty on a battlefield. But now in her old age, all those poses of figures in more active poses, tall and imposing, simply didn't feel right. A wise old woman, hunched on a stool in a pose associated with the idea of an oracle, a priestess, a prophetess, felt much more fitting. (goblin culture does have specific pronouns for leadership, and in the common speech they have decided this translates best to the feminine "she/her")

Olli Moruga, also a goblin with axolotl-like frills, standing with the demiguy flag in his hands. He is in the pose of Michaelangelo's statue of Bacchus, god of wine, merriment, and madness. One hand up as if to salute with a cup, body leaning and perhaps a little unstable. Olli is a gay demiguy, stepping away from the naturally ungendered state of his people to embrace masculinity instead. He is extroverted, loves a good party, and has definitely been a little over his depth with alcohol on many occasions. He knows this is a problem. He used to act rebellious because of it, trying to be cool and aloof, but he has since admitted the truth to himself and now openly seeks help. His trans lover, Zaire (seen in a previous post) has become a great support to him. Even though it may seem odd to use the pose of a god of wine for a character that is trying to overcome an alcohol issue, I still feel like the vibe of Bacchus or Dionysus fits Olli well. He is not only a god of wine, but also of pleasure in general, a concept Olli embraces. Wild joy, perhaps to the point of becoming a little feral, abandoning tradition for personal fulfillment. It is unusual for goblins to embrace a binary gender, even partially. Gendered pronouns do not exist in their tongue, only being used in cases where common speech needs to be used to refer to certain significant figures, such as a leader. It is also unusual for a goblin to take a lover outside their species, since most goblins live in fairly isolated places and all mate together seasonally, depositing their eggs in a communal nursery pool. Olli stands out on purpose.

Lastly, Sajak, an amphibious person with some fish-like features such as their finned ears and a barely visible dorsal fin. They are holding the genderqueer flag as they stand in a commanding pose, one foot on a rock, one arm held out as if pointing to something below them. This pose is taken from the central Poseidon statue in the fountain of Trevi. Their head, arms, and torso are covered in dark tattoos in abstract designs, and they also have a few natural dark stripes along their arms and legs. The obvious connection between Sajak and this statue of Poseidon is that Sajak is a fish person and Poseidon is an ocean god. If I could have thought of a more medical figure, I may have made a different choice in the art reference. Sajak is primarily a doctor, a healer. They are fairly well known and they were an important figure on their home island, though they did leave eventually. Even so, there is a certain vibe to Sajak that suits the image of a powerful and unpredictable oceanic god. They are steady, intelligent, and careful, but they can become fierce when their loved ones are under threat, and the intense focus they show in their work as a doctor can be intimidating to see. There is a feeling of hidden power within Sajak, just as there is in the ocean when it seems calm. Fish folk, whether bipedal and amphibious or fully aquatic, also fit under my category of "non-mammalian people who are just kind of genderqueer by default due to their biology not fitting into a binary".

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

Notes: My OC Derek Ramos is basically Anthony Ramos (Hamilton) I love him, he is cute and sexy and so freaking talented, and I frankly just wanted to write a story about him, but the In the Heights movie won't be happening any time soon, so I settled for this.

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Chapter 16: Inappropriate

Common sense and logical thinking, as Doctor Florence used to say when you were just a kid, whenever you felt ike you were losing control you needed to found the logical thing to do, and that would calm your anxiety before you have an episode, and usually it worked, most of the time anyway.

What was the logical thing to do now? None of the actions you have been taking the last weeks were logical, and common sense was urging you to stand up and run away from him, but the soft touch of his hands on the small of your back and the warm breath of his mouth were proving to be more calming than any rational thinking.

His lips felt soft on yours and maybe also scared, but he had no hesitation and you have seen the quiet need in his eyes, and you could almost cry since this was the first time in weeks since someone had kissed you, and sadly the first time in months since someone had that actual desire and need on his eyes before kissing you, he doubted for a second the moment you start returning the kiss with the hunger and longing for physical contact that had been denied to you; but he kept you close to him enough for you to feel his heart beating hard and fast on his chest, and you were desperate to know how would it feel under his shirt.

His touch became tighter on your waist and your body was moving on it's own trying to climb on his lap obeying some muscular memory on how familiar it felt, not like they were similar in any way, but he gave you the safe feeling He used to provoke on you, and you finally open your eyes... for a moment you were convinced that a pair of playful blue eyes will receive you with a cheeky grin, but instead there were those sad brown eyes darkened with desire, and logical thinking choose the worst possible moment to start working again.

You broke contact immediately, and felt a little hurt that he didn't tried to stop you when you muttered a little "I'm sorry" and run straight to his room closing thee door behind you and finally letting the tears consume you.

Jonathan's memory deserved better than this reckless and selfish behavior, and Detective Hardy deserved a free woman, free from all the horrors in your past, free from a dead fiance whom you still loved deeply, and free from all the problems you tended to cause. Also you were not entirely sure but it seems like he and Detective Miller had a thing going, and you would never get in between two people, it was a harmful and indecent thing to do specially to people who were as nice and considerate as them.

You could hear him pacing on the hallway outside the door and you wanted to get outside and tell him how much you really wanted to kiss him and maybe more, but you were broken at the moment and how bad idea it was, you wanted to tell him desperately how much you enjoyed kissing him, how his lips bring you back to life and how for a moment all the sadness disappeared, and how much you appreciate all the things he have done for you, and how you bring sadness and trouble to anyone around you so you have to walk away from him before you drag him to your darkness and ruin his life.

Because for god sake Y/N! Your mind told you once he stopped and turned off the light of the hallway, you were a fucking witness/ suspect on a murder case, his bloody career will be in the trash if someone knew that he did as much as looking at you as something more.

No, this was better, you could hide there at least until he left for work the next day and after that... well you will figure it out once the sun were up. You sitted on the bed trying to take Jonathan's disappointed and hurt face away from your thoughts, but two hours later when Daze entered the house you were still awake, ot wasn't until after 4:00 am that the fatigue defeated you and finally closed your eyes.

***

Olly Stevens was waiting outside Ashley Langford's La Boheme deli, holding a tray with two cups of coffee, and saw detective Harford approach him in civilian clothes she pointed to an empty table in the terrace and he followed her.

"Detective, you look as gorgeous as usual, may I offer you a coffee" He said again with exaggerate reverence but before the woman could roll her eyes at him a strong hand took the tray off his hand and gave Harford one of the drinks and took the other for him.

"Oh that's really considerate from you sir" a handsome man with short curly hair and sweet and compassionate eyes sitted next to Katie and offered him his hand. "I'm DC Ramos, you can call me Derek"

"Hi Detective, I'm Olly Stevens, I'm the Broadchurch Eco editor, how can I help you?" Harford smile to his inside since Stevens would act professionally now that other man was in the scene, I was completely ridiculous and insulting, but she had to admit that Ramos had potential and she secretly wanted to spend some more time with him.

"Did you found what I asked you?" She said once he put out a couple folders.

"It wasn't easy, I had to promise a janitor a two page story on how unfair their working conditions are" he said giving her what seemed to be photocopies of a C. Langford medical record.

"And they don't have unfair working conditions?" Harford asked.

"They do, but that doesn't sell newspapers" he said and have her a wink that was received by a dead glare. "Anyway here are the old newspapers you asked for" He said giving a voluminous binder that detective Ramos took. "Now what can you tell me about Jonathan Norbury's case, anything interesting?"

"Absolutely nothing, but we appreciate your collaboration, and once we have something that would sell newspapers you'll be the first to know" Detective Ramos said with a bright smile and Olly couldn't hide the disappointment on his face and after some more small talk he left them alone.

"Did you get the old records that I asked you?" She said once they were on her car.

"I did, they are not digital so is a lot of paperwork he said pointing at a voluminous box in the back "Is gonna take us forever Katie"

"Us? They are not paying us for this you know? I mean you don't have to be here" she said and his eyes went sad for a second and she feared he felt unwelcome when she was actually delighted that he wanted to help.

"Well I know that the files came from a shady reporter, I can't leave you alone now" He said hopefully and she put a serious face for a moment.

"Fine, but I can't take work home, my apartment is tiny and they are renovating the ceiling so is a lot of noise"

"Well you can come to my place, I mean if you want to" he said nervously, and she found him endearing.

"Sure, we can order take out if this gets too long" He smiled with that happiness that reach his eyes and gave her the address so they would start search on Charles Langford's past.

***

"I'm going to beat that bastard" Father Coats said loudly causing a few of the penitent in the church to look at the confession booth.

"Seal of confession father" You said and you could guess the way he was brushing his hair to the back of his head as he used to when he was nervous or angry, or in this case both.

"That only works if I didn't knew who you are" He said sarcastically, since he would have recognized your voice in any place.

"Well then pretend you don't, or better yet, talk to me as my friend" you said to him in the stubborn tone you knew drive him insane.

"If this was a talk among friends I could actually have a word with detective Hardy" He said and you rolled your eyes angry because he was right.

"Well then father, tell me if I'm burning in hell for being a loose woman" you said after a while.

"No more than him" He started and you knew he was joking, was that allowed? For him to make jokes in there? "I can only absolve you if you feel repented, but something tells me you don't, and if that is the case I think there is not such thing as a sin, is terribly inappropriate, and I'm sure if you choose to continue with this you would be jeopardizing Jonathan's murder investigation" He said after thinking throughly the situation.

"Well we wouldn't be the only ones misbehaving right?" You said and you could swear you felt the color rising to his face.

"We are not discussing my personal life here, and there is nothing happening there for your information" He said defensive, he finish with the confession and you follow him outside where Daze was helping some children arrange some flowers for the altar.

"It looks amazing Dasy" you said and she smiled, apparently she pretended to become a teacher eventually and she was searching for opportunities to be around children.

"Thanks Y/N my dad is coming to pick us, I text him we were here" she said and your plan to avoid him fall apart.

"DI Hardy" Father Coats said once he got inside the church.

"Paul" he said with a dry tone, he look sadder than usual and you felt guilty for it. "Are you ready?"

"Can I stay longer?"Dasy said and you wish she could read your mind so she won't left you alone with him, although you hope he would say no, but for your surprise he agreed.

You didn't have time to think when you were already walking towards his car, but before you get back to be reclusive in his room yo thought at least you owe him an explanation.

"Alec I..."

"Y/N I'm sorry..." you spoke at the same time and he immediately shut up when he heard his name on your lips, you haven't call him that yet, but he didn't seem mad. "Go ahead" he said and he stop walking next to the car.

"Can I drive?" You said after a moment and for all answer he gave you his keys and you climb on the driver's seat.

The drive was silent, but relaxing somehow, you had a place in mind to go, and you were sure he knew where were you going but he seemed uneasy once you start walking up towards Danny Latimer's cliff, your pants were now damp by the grass but you didn't care.

You finally reached the top and sited on the grass looking at the ocean, he looked at you concerned but eventually he sited next to you.

"What are you sorry for?" You said finally.

"Well my behavior last night was... " He started taking off guard by the question.

"Inappropriate?" You said remembering Paul words "Well is not like I didn't wanted you to kiss me" you said and you could see relief in his face, and suddenly it was clear, he wasn't mad with you for running away but with himself for making advances on you. "He proposed here you know?" You said fighting the tears and trying to search for the right words to explain yourself.

"Did he?" He said with a cautious tone.

"Yeah, he hated being outdoors, city boy you know?" You laughed remembering Jonathan tired face when you reached the top and he finally put down the picking basket on the floor, and the pain start pressuring your chest "He bring me here because he knew I love this place"

"It's quite nice" he said and offered you a handkerchief.

"Thanks" you took it and clean your eyes smearing some lipstick on the fabric. "I keep thinking about how manny weeks are until our wedding day" You said and he looked confused "I keep questioning me if things had been different... I want to believe that if things had been different I would have ask you your name in one of your appointments with Dr. Florence, and maybe... I don't know maybe I would have postponed my wedding because I was not sure anymore..." you said elaborating the childish dreams and ideas that you told yourself to justify your actions.

"I'm sure you wouldn't have postponed it" he said not understanding where you wanted to go with this.

"Or maybe I would have married him anyway and eventually I would have cheated him with you" You said bitterly "Not like what I did was much different"

"You didn't cheat on him" He said vehemently and he didn't need to elaborate because you could imagine that by now he must know more about Jonathan life than you.

"We hadn't have sex in months and I felt like he was repulsed by me in the end... I'm not justifying him, but that's the truth, I thought that it was wedding nerves, but I was to naive apparently, you must know of course if he cheated on me" you said.

"You know I can't discuss deatails of the case..."He said but that was all the confirmation you needed.

"I know that, and if he was it doesn't make right what I did, I was just not ready to have feelings for someone else so soon, and I feel like by having them I somehow love him less... I should be the one apologizing because I wanted you to kiss me and more..."

"You don't have to apologize, I shouldn't have act upon my feelings, but I'm glad you are not offended by them" he said and you gave him a small smile.

"Why would I? You are a handsome wonderful man, and if I'm honest I feel more free next to you than I have in the last five months of my life, I just wish that maybe the timing had been different"

"I would have asked you your name" he said after a while and you nodded, it was so peaceful up there. "Maybe several months after we met, maybe too late for anything to happen"

"Now what?" You asked standing up after him.

"We go back, and we pretend this didn't happen" he said, and you agreed, logical thinking "and maybe when this over..." he started with hope in his eyes.

"Alec, could you be honest with me?" He nodded as a response "Do you think I did it?"

"I don't" he said, it wasn't a emotional declaration, it was just a fact for him, he was completely sure you didn't do it.

You look straight into his eyes and evaluate the situation, he was right that was the logical, rational, and correct thing to do, but...

"I don't want to be too late" You said and you kissed him, waiting that maybe he would be rational and reject you, but he closed his arms around your back and kissed you with the same intensity of the night before or maybe more, both of you knew this was dangerous, reckless, irresponsible and completely inappropriate, but you couldn't care less.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale @acid-gurkerl

[i-ndil-cuimhne-ar-daniel]

(drawing by @mahanaimacallaris)

@mahanaimacallaris I hope you don’t mind me putting this in a new post, but I figured people would appreciate not seeing that long-ass post on their dash over and over again 😂 But I’ll put a link here to the first post with the other drawings/story: link

Well, this is my two-cents, including a couple of *cough* hints. 

Whatever happens in Munich, stays in Munich

The early morning light fell into the room through the half-open curtains, seducing the lingering darkness into a flirtatious shawdowplay, and Till watched as silhouettes danced across the wall in various shades of darkness – in the shadowplay, acting out your own death, knowing no more, and Ian Curtis offered him the words in that soothingly melodramatic voice, but,

no, not now, go away. The dark was as enticing as ever, but Till was ready to fight tooth and nail to keep himself out of the shadows. It was one of the few times they didn’t have any obligations and they got to spent a quiet morning sleeping-in, and, well, he wanted to be able to experience every moment in the light, not the dark.  

Till carefully wiggled his shoulders to find a more comfortable position, holding Flake tight as the slender man lay sprawled on top of him. His breathing warm against the skin of Till’s shoulder, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against his chest, and, Gott, I love you. Ja,

it was officially a thing, our thing, although Olli never missed a chance to remind them that,

without me your thing wouldn’t even be a thing, so theoretically speaking this is our thing,

and Till had no complaints about that. The more the merrier, right?

Though perhaps Flake would be a tad more difficult to persuade, especially after what I did… Because, ja, there was indeed the tiny thing Till had done. Nothing too serious, I hope, but he expected some trouble out of the keyboard player nonetheless.

Still, I can’t wait…. It wasn’t like it had been formally confirmed, but, they’re going to come through. Not just Olli, but, ja, them too, the mysterious person who had made the drawings of Till in the pink fluffy coat.

I’m not going to tell you, stop with the bribes, Till.

But they’re your favorite cookies. Look. I made them myself,

and Olli had shot him a look.

Fine. I bought them myself. But it was done with love – so much love!

I’m sure it was, and I appreciate it. I really do. But a secret is a secret. I crossed my heart and hoped to die.

You’re not going to die, Olli!

I’m not going to risk it either, Till!

Fine, but can you at least ask them to do another drawing? Please, for me, and Till had tried for the cutest puppy-eyes, and,

stop-would you just…fine, you got me. I’ll ask. Oh Gott, let me guess. This is about Munich, isn’t it?

apparently, it had worked. Olli had promised to ask for the drawing.

Flake is going to make a bit of a fuss, Till was absolutely certain. But most of it is in jest anyway. Spending years with the band, and specifically Paul, had left him more desensitized to outrageous jokes, nudeness, and things that should not be named, than he’d like to let on. He just likes the drama, that extra shiver of attention he got whenever he let out some screams and made a scene.

And he knows Munich was….epic, even for their standards.

It had been a quiet May evening. Tired from the concert and a meet-and-greet with fans, they had all retreated back to their own rooms, Flake following Till to his.

He’d just gotten out of the shower, and they were sitting on the bed with a glass of wine, chatting about things Till had by now forgotten about, when they’d heard a ruckus outside. Curious,

that sounds a bit like Paul,

Flake had gone to the window to have a look, and,

mein Gott, that is Paul! And Richard! And they’re….oh Gott…no!

What is it? And Till had gotten of the bed. Tell me.

No-no! We’re not doing this again, I refuse,

and Till had looked out the window, only to find Richard and Paul chasing Christoph through the hotel garden. The latter neatly in his shirt and sweatpants, but the other two, stark naked.

Oh, scheiße, look at them go, and Till had opened up the glass doors, walking onto the balcony. And of course, Flake had been right behind him.

Together they had stood at the banister watching as Richard and Paul were trying to corner Christoph, he’s actually pretty fast and agile for such a large man, and, thankfully, their efforts so far had been unfruitful.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying though. Throwing all regards for modesty out the window, Paul and Richard had run over the grass, sliding left and right as they tried to make quick turns. Hands waving, fingers grabbing, but Christoph had managed to outrun them every single time.

That’s quite a sight, isn’t it?

and Till had looked up to find Olli standing on the balcony next to his. It sure is. Mein Gott. Any idea what’s going on?

Shrugging his shoulders, Olli had chucked his fag over the railing, eyes still fixed on the spectacle unfolding in the garden below. You remember when they rebuild his drums at the bottom of the pool and left him to retrieve them by himself? Well, you’re looking at the payback. The start of a budding grin had carefully presented itself at the corners of Olli’s mouth. He took all their stuff while they were in the sauna.

The thunder of a hearty laugh had vibrated through Till’s chest. But, come on! Schneider isn’t stupid, he wouldn’t wait for them to get out.

Fully blossoming, the grin had spread itself across Olli’s entire face. Nope. But let’s just say someone still had a little bone to pick with our drummer about a missing container of cookies – and took his room key.

Till had laughed so loud he could have sworn he’d heard the sound echo, but,

Olli had simply smiled dryly. There are things I myself don’t need to see, but, uhm, you enjoy the show. Gentlemen, and on the beats of his farewell, he had disappeared back into his room, closing the doors behind him.  

Meanwhile, the manhunt downstairs had still been in full swing. But as the two firecrackers had decided to, finally, team up, Christoph had quickly found himself in a little trouble somewhere near the edge of the swimming pool. Caught between the covered obstacle and the two approaching fire breathing dragons, Christoph had yelled out at Till and Flake,

a little help here would be nice,

but Till had simply shrugged his shoulders, shouting back, you want to play with fire, you might get burned, while Flake had just stood there and waved.

I’M GOING TO REMEMBE–AHHH,

and both Paul and Richard had jumped him at the same time, cutting the sentence short as Christoph had let out a high-pitched scream.

With Richard’s arm around his neck and Paul’s full weight against his chest, it had only taken a few seconds to get him down to the ground. But Christoph was strong and lifting Paul up with one arm, he had easily plopped him onto the ground next to him.

Getting to Richard had been more difficult, as he was lying underneath Christoph, holding him in a firm choke hold. So, by the time he had finally managed to get a hand between his throat and Richards arm, Paul had climbed back on top of him, using his knees to try and help keep Christoph down.

Now, where up until that point it had only been a matter of some, things, dingling and dangling, now everyone was offered a full view of, everything, really, and,

MEIN GOTT, PAUL LANDERS, I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE!

Hands still firmly on Christoph’s chest, Paul had looked over his shoulder. THAT’S NOT FAIR, YOU NEVER YELL AT RICHARD.

THAT’S BECAUSE I’M NOT FORCED TO LOOK AT HIS, OH MEIN GOTT, ALJOSCHA WAS RIGHT! YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE,

and with a dramatically grand twirl Flake had turned on his heels, marching back inside, although Till was quite sure he must have still caught the,

YEAH, WELL, HE ALSO SAID I HAD A CUTE BUM. SO, TAKE THAT!

It had sent Till straight into another laughing fit, slapping his hand on the balcony railing as he had looked on as with joint effort and a whole lot of gymnastics, Paul and Richard had managed to get Christoph out of his pants as well,

which had been about the time the hotel manager had come running into the garden, another employee with a stack of bathrobes in tow.

And maybe it had been the whole incident happening at all, or maybe it had been just the simple fact they weren’t even drunk when it did. And maybe, well, most likely, it had something to do with their stubborn refusal to cover up in the offered robes, making their way through the hotel buck naked….but regardless of which one it was, verdammt, that guy had been pissed, raving and ranting as he had scolded them like they were a bunch of naughty children.

Luckily some sweet talking from Christoph and a very sad looking Flake letting out a little snicker, it’s a good thing he can cry on command, had convinced the manager to let them stay. For one night. Thus, the next morning they had gotten another telling off from Tom from management, who had to find them another hotel.

It was worth it though, that evening was….epic, Till had no other way to describe it. And now he would have a memento to hang on his living room wall. Flake is going to kill me, having to look at Paul’s naked ass every ti

a quick knock on the door roughly yanked Till out of his thoughts. Who can that be? “Yes?” But there was no answer. That’s weird.

“Wazz tha?” Lazily Flake lifted his head, his chin scraping along Till’s chest as he turned his head to face him.

“I don’t know. There’s no response.” His fingers tenderly caressing the soft skin of Flake’s back, Till leaned up for a kiss. “If you let me go, I can go and check.”

“Nah,” Flake stole another kiss, “I’ll go,” and rolled himself off Till, and off the bed. He stood swaying on his feet for a second, “woo-right, okay,” smiling at Till as he exorbitantly blinked his eyes. “Yep, I’m here,” and he turned to grab his bathrobe off the chair.

As long as you come back to bed after, Till watched as Flake swung the fabric around his shoulders like a cape, walking towards the door, I’ve got plans for you.

“I don’t think we were even supposed to answer,” Flake sunk to his knees, “there’s a paper stuck underneath the door,”

Really? Oh, wait-scheiße, “wait!” Till shot up, clutching a tangle of blanket in his hands.

but Flake had already picked the white sheet off the floor. “What could this-ahhhh, oh no!” In a flash he got up, “Till Lindemann, what have you done,” making his way to the bed. “Whatever happens in Munich, stays in Munich, remember?”

“Easy, calm down,” his hands held up in a half protective/half apologizing motion, Till smiled his dearest smile, “don’t be mad.”

“I just-I, mein Gott, will you look at it?” Flake held the paper out so Till could see. “They’re naked! Again!”

“Now, now, come on. It’s not like you haven’t seen that a couple of times before.” Till let go of the blanket and took the paper out of Flake’s hand. “Look, this is amazing. That’s us again. Remember, that moment we heard the noise outside?”

The corners of Flake’s mouth slightly trembled and,

oh, I’m on to you, Till knew all too well the other was attempting to hold back a smile. All I need to do, is draw it out. “Look, this is-come here,”

with his other hand, Till grabbed onto Flake and pulled him onto the bed, waiting for him to settle himself against his side before he continued.

“Look,” pointing at the paper, “how cute are those bums?”

A gentle nudge against his shoulder,

“and would you look at Olli! Mein Gott, he’s pleased with himself. As he should be! They would have never been outside if it hadn’t been for him,”

and on a sharp exhale of breath, Flake let out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right – you’re right. The drawings are amazing.”

“But?”

“They’re amazing!”

“And?”

Flake let out a soft sigh. “It’s always shenanigans, all the weird shit we got ourselves into. Why not something, you know, sweet?”

Dropping the paper on the nightstand, Till turned towards Flake and took him in his arms. “Because I’ve already got you.”

“Oh, you,” a quick kiss on the nose, “I mean something sweet to put on the wall, next to those other drawings.”

“Like what?”

“Well,” a tender smile, “what about that night at Olli’s house, when you asked me to be yours?”

Oh Flake, that is sweet, it had taken Till a good four glassed of whiskey to amass enough courage to do so, but, such a fantastic night, sitting by the fire pit, looking at the stars. The whole damn lot of them standing watching from inside the house, although Till wasn’t quite sure if Flake had that in mind as well. Then again, seeing them scatter around when we looked their way was kind of cute., so I guess it counts

“Or that time when all of us went for a walk and Richard fell of that rock, and we all took turns supporting him until we made it back.”

Right, ja, that had been the previous year, during one of their gigs in England. Off course, Richard and Paul had climbed some rocks, but Richard had fallen off, hurting his ankle. It had taken them a good five hours to tackle a path that would have normally taken not even three, but they had made it. Together.

“Though the sweetest part was you giving him a piggyback ride for the last two miles.”

“My back was less impressed.”

“I know,” another petit kiss, “but you did it.”

Yes, I did. We did,

“or it could be something happy, like that doughnut eating contest – you know, when Christoph got mad at Olli for making him laugh, and he tried to shove three doughnuts into his mouth at the same time,”

nearly choking Olli, but, well, it actually had been kind of funny. Once Olli had stopped coughing and spitting out chunks of half-chewed dough.

“Oh-oh, or when that lady wouldn’t stop badgering Schneider about the god-awful way he treated his perfectly behaved pups!”

Resting his head against Flake’s shoulder, Till let out a thundering laugh. “Now that would be priceless! He got so annoyed. ‘Let me be, you’ve got no idea what they’re like.’ And Paul just kept sniffing her leg!”

“I still refuse to believe she didn’t notice.”

Another round of laughter. “Perhaps she liked it!”

Flake snorted. “Who knows. He sure did.”

“Stop it,” words carried out on a wave of exuberant laughter, “I can’t.” There’s always something going on with Paul….funnyman.

“Although I think we’ve ventured right back into weird again.”

“Are we ever anything but weird?” Till leaned back, looking Flake in the eye. “Seriously?”

“Nah,” Flake shook his head, “it’s just, some types of weird are definitely more enjoyable than others.”

Ah, “jokes and pranks are the good type of weird, naked bums are the bad kind?”

“Mmm,” a hint of tension built up in Flake’s face, focusing around the ever so lightly narrowing eyes, “that depends on whose bum it is.”

Ohhh, “I see,” tugging Flake closer, Till nuzzled his face into his neck, gently sucking the skin between his lips as he showered it with kisses. “I,” kiss, “like,” kiss, “where,” kiss, “this,” kiss, “is,” kiss, “going.” Till had a whole bunch of ideas that he was sure Flake would classify as, the good type of weird, and, I-

Putting a hand against his chest, Flake pushed Till away. “Are you sure?”

-what? “What do you mean?”

“Because as Olli would say, I still have a bone to pick with you over that Munich-thing, and I’m not sure you’re going to like what I’ve got in mind.”

“I’ll ask for another drawing, I promise!” Reaching back to a sure-fire favorite, Till faintly titled his head downward, looking up at Flake with slightly widened eyes, even pouting his lips to exploit the full potential of the endearing look. “Please be nice.”

“I’ll think about it. In the meantime,” Flake leaned closer, gently tapping Till on the nose, “go fetch the present I brought you. It’s in my suitcase.”

What did you do? “What is it?”

“You’ll know when you see it.”

This should be good, it looked like the morning was going to turn out even better than Till had imagined. Cuddles with Flake, the amazing drawing, and now, what did you bring me? He pushed himself to the edge of the bed,

“And Till?”

turning to look over his shoulder.

“You better be good.”

Oh hell yes, it was going to be a very good morning.  

[korra-the-red-lion]

Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 21: The Banishment.

(Ally + Lyn + Michael)

Lyn.

“You’re going to training camp, aren’t cha, Lyn?”

I looked over at Matt who was hanging off the lane rope, water dripping off his beard. Andrew looked at me quizzically as well as they waited for my answer.

“Probably, yeah,” I said with a shrug. I’d totally forgotten about it, honestly. I’ve been so busy with all this spirit hunting junk that training camp just slipped my mind.

“Good. Kerry and I are going too.” Matt licked his lips. “So, you, Loryn, Kerry, Maddie, Thom, Ollie, and Will. Oh, and me!”

“I’m going to,” said Emma. “So’s Robin and Tams.”

“That’s not too bad,” I commented. “You only got like 7 people last year. You nearly got half the team. Wait, is Gunner not going?”

Andrew shook his head. “Me and Gunner are gonna go home together this year. I think he needs it.”

I looked over at Gunner, who just dove in the water for his heat. We were doing practice races today to work on our spirits and diving techniques. We got out of the pool since they started and walked over to the benches, where we sat and waited for it to be our turn again.

I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes, thinking about all the shit we learned the last few days. I couldn’t believe that old prof was the killer. I didn’t like the guy, but I didn’t think he was capable of murder. Of course, not all killers looked like killers. That’s how Ted Bundy and Paul Bernardo got away with so many killings before they were caught.

We hadn’t told the police yet because we literally had no concrete evidence that he did it. We really only were going off what we’ve seen and what ghosts have told us and done to us. We couldn’t really say much in our defence. Whatever. Tomorrow we were going to get rid of the monstrous Fredrik Moore with the help of Katherine.

Ally told us this two days ago. Then she causally mentioned that she nearly got killed by Kinkly when she went to go speak to the ghost residing in the art building. I swear to God, between Ally and Michael, I was going to have aneurysm. Who the hell causally mentions they nearly died through a text message?? It was a little exhausting to keep up with, truthfully. I only understood so little, yet I was expected to keep up with all the crazy. I was definitely ready for it to be over.

Katherine had sent Ally a list of things that we needed for the ceremony tomorrow, or whatever you wanted to call it. I guess it was basic ghost hunting stuff like salt, iron or silver, special amulets. I didn’t really get it, but Michael was more than happy to find all that for us. Where he got it from, I didn’t really want to know.

“What’s on your mind, Lyn?”

Loryn’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I blinked back into focus. “Just some stuff.”

“Hm.” Loryn sat down next to me. “I can’t wait until this semester is over. I feel like once Christmas goes by, we’ll reset and refocus.”

“I agree.”

I watched Thom glance at Loryn as he walked up to the block. I wasn’t the most observant person on the planet, but I was starting to notice the looks he was giving her. I wondered if he had a crush on her or something. The thought of that brought a cheeky grin to my face.

“What are you doing for winter break, by the by?”

I shrugged. “Suffer until my flight, I guess.”

Loryn rubbed her hands together nervously. “Did you want to stay over at my place? We could leave together.”

“Loryn…” I stared at my friend, emotion building up in my chest. She was watching me with this stupid soppy look on her face too. “I can’t just impose on your family, especially not during the holidays.”

“And I can’t let my best friend go back to a place that makes her miserable,” countered Loryn. “C’mon, dad is totally okay with it. I just want you to think about for real, okay?”

“I will, I promise.”

She reached over and hugged me, and I hugged back. It really did mean a lot to me that she even asked. I didn’t know what I was going to do for winter break. I thought I’d just hang around here until then, but who knows, maybe the ghost problem was still going to be a thing then. I broke off the hug when I realized it was my turn to go up again. I patted Loryn on the head and headed over.

XXX

Michael.

I was so excited to see the list Ally had sent. I knew exactly where to get those things! As soon as my horrid math course ended, I raced down to the Dreaming Mythic. When I got there, Talia was in today. She smiled at me as I pulled off my hat and shoved it in my pocket.

“Mr. Yamamoto! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you last.”

“Yup!” I walked straight over to where the bags of salt were. “I’m here to stock up today.”

“I figured you were,” she said softly as she drifted over. “Katherine told me that you asked her for help.”

I froze. I smiled guiltily at her as I reached for the salts. “Yea’ I did. I hope that’s okay with you. I just got really excited when I saw her reading the spell book.” I did feel bad that I asked her like that, it probably caught her so off guard.

“Katherine is an adult,” said Talia wistfully. “If she wants to help, then she can make that decision herself. I just hope that you children are going to be safe.”

I nodded as I poked around the amulets. “I hope so too. I think that if we get hurt again, Lyn might kill us. And trust me, she doesn’t look that strong but that’s only cuz she’s wearing sweaters right now. She could crush my head if she wanted to. Plus, I’m pretty sure I’m scarred for life now because of this, so I don’t really need to add physio on top of therapy.”

Talia walked into the back room as I continued to poke around. I wasn’t really sure where I was going to get any silver from, but maybe the weird antique store down the road had something. These small towns and their wacky stores, huh? You could always find the weirdest stuff. This whole town had proven to be p r e t t y i n t e r e s t i n g so far.

I walked over to the counter with an armload of things. One could never be too careful when it came to fighting a giant ghost monster that could totally crush you with one hand. Never. I dumped my stuff and tapped my fingers against the counter as I waited for Talia to return. I wasn’t in a rush, so I didn’t mind waiting.

When she came back out, she was carrying a bundle in her arms. I looked at it quizzically as she set it on the counter delicately. My jaw fell open when I saw what it was.

A gleaming silver blade.

“This belonged to my mother, who got it from her father and so on,” said Talia as she ran her fingers on the flat part of the blade. “It served them well. I would like it if you took this to protect yourself. It’s much more efficient than a baseball bat.”

“How…?” I was dumbfounded.

“Mr. Yamamoto, I’m aware of how the minds of you people work,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “Also, I was a student once too, in a house full of girls. We all had our own weapons of choice in case anyone ever tried to break in.”

I ran my hand over my head. “I feel bad if any person ever tried to, after seeing this guy.”

She slid it back into the sheath and wrapped it back up. She put everything in a paper bag and handed it all to me. “Please, be careful. Those are dark forces you’re dealing with. And…” she paused, her face thoughtful. “Never mind. Take care, Michael.”

“Thank you, Talia.” I squeezed the bag to my chest tightly. It meant so much to me that she’s been so awesome this whole time. I can’t think of anyone else who would go to such crazy lengths to help a practical stranger. She really was a great person, no joke.

I smiled one last time before leaving the store. I couldn’t help but feel the nerves starting to creep in. It was going to be really dangerous, we knew that. It’s been dangerous this whole time. I think only when Ally spoke to Amelia was the only time she didn’t get hurt. These ghosts mean business, and their business is to kill.

In some weird way though, we had to do finish it. We were the ones who started this whole thing, really. If we hadn’t bothered to dig around more, then we wouldn’t feel the sense of responsibility to help them all move on. No one else could do this job but us. Sure, it was terrifying and stupid, but I’m happy in a way. I’m happy that we’re going to make a difference. Especially since all the victims were people that thought no one cared about this. But there were people who cared, somewhere out there. I mean, hell, we cared!

I understood their anger, though. I’ve been there. People making offhand comments about me behind my back. Being a biracial kid in Victoria hadn’t been terrible, but there were times that I was all too happy to forget about. I’ve been pulled over more times than I care to talk about because of the colour of my skin. There were times were people asked me if I was visiting people from home, as if my family didn’t live here in Canada. I understood all that. That’s why it was so important to me to help them out. Because someone had to.

So yeah, I was nervous. I was nervous because there was so much more at stake than just stopping Kinkly from killing again. It was about telling these people that they mattered. Because for the love of fucking God, they do.

XXX

Lyn.

When I got back to my room, I was surprised to see a package lying on my bed.

Nura would pick up my mail for me sometimes because she was a sweet and wonderful person. I didn’t order anything for myself, so I wasn’t sure where it came from. With a confused frown, I dropped my bag to the floor, grabbed the package, and opened it up.

A letter fell out, landing gently on my bed. I picked it up, surprised to see Olivia’s name scrawled on the front of it. Feeling even more confused now, I opened the letter to see what she had to say.

Lyn,

I just wanted to apologize again for making you come home for Thanksgiving. It was wrong of me to make you promise something like that when you needed a ride to the hospital. I still don’t know the real reason why you needed to go, but hopefully one day you’ll be able to share the truth with me.

It’s a little early for Christmas, but I got you a gift. It’s not much, and maybe you’ll hate it. What you do with them is your choice, and I’ll be none the wiser on what you decide. Speaking of, if you would like, Travis and I would be happy for you to come and stay for a while. I know you’re probably flying off to Florida or wherever again for your winter training camp. I just wanted to let you know the offer is there for you to take if you wish.

Anyway, I hope that you’ve been well and that all your finals go as you expect. You always give everything 110%, so I know you’ll do amazing.

With warmest love and regards,

Olivia.

I sat heavily on the bed, my emotions conflicted. I reread the letter a few more times, making sure I didn’t miss a single thing. It absolutely meant the world to me that Olivia went the extra mile to apologize for making me go back there. She didn’t have to, but she did.

I reached for the rest of the package and pulled out the box that was inside. It was a shoe box for Converse, and when I opened it, a brand-new brand of blue-green high-tops rested inside. I pulled them gently and examined them. They were my size exactly, and there was another note inside the box.

I know you loved those black ones you have, but since they were bloody, I thought these would be a good replacement.

They were gorgeous. I loved them already. I wouldn’t be able to wear them for while because of the weather, but Olivia made an awesome choice.

I thought back to Loryn’s offer. Now I had two places to go for the holidays, meaning that I wouldn’t be spending them alone, regardless of my choice. I felt warmth blooming in my chest. Maybe later tonight would end horribly for us, but for now I was content to just sit here and be thankful for the people in my life.

XXX

Ally.

December 1st.

If someone had asked me at the beginning of the term what I would be doing 9 days before the first day of exams, I probably would have said pretending that relearning the entire course wasn’t stressing me out at all. Instead, I was going to go back to the swim team’s locker room for the third time this term to hopefully help a ghost move on from this plane of existence. You know, a typical Wednesday.

I stared up at the clouds as I sat outside on one of the benches scattered around campus. It was a really peaceful day. It was cold, and the wood was wet on my legs, but still peaceful.

The nerves I felt were not as bad as I thought they would be. Maybe because we’ve already been through so much already. Scarred, bruised, hurt, but alive. We lucked out twice already, and I know we’ll do it again a third time. If everything went according to our plan, it should be fine.

I laughed to myself. When has anything gone according to our plans?

Still, I dropped my head back, so it was dangling over the bench, we’ll be okay. I have to believe that. I don’t want anything to happen to them. I won’t let anything happen to them.

I wasn’t a physical fighter, but I was going to try my best to make sure we all made it out of here okay. I owed Michael and Lyn that much. I dragged them into this wild world, and I was going to be the ones to make sure they got out of it alive.

“You’re doing your thinking face.”

I smiled as I sat up properly. “Hey. Did you get everything?”

“I totally did,” said Michael as he sat next to me. “Now, don’t divert the convo. What cha thinking about?”

“Just everything, honestly.” I tucked my hands under my armpits. “You know my brain is always running, it never stops.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” he chuckled.

We sat there as I rested my head against him. He put his arm around my shoulders. We took comfort in each other’s warmth. The steady rhythm of his breathing added to the calm I was feeling. There was something about sitting with a friend on a cold winter day that was under appreciated.

The day slowly waned away as we sat silently. I don’t know what Michael was thinking about, but it was probably about tonight. I could feel the anxiety emitting off of him. He wasn’t biting his nail, but he was bouncing his leg away from me quite a bit. I reached down and squeezed his hand in comfort, causing him to look my way. I smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

“Do you really think we’ll be okay?” His voice was small.

“I do,” I said firmly.

He nodded slowly, staring off again. “Do you think it was a mistake to ask someone else to help? I feel more guilty the more I think about it.”

I frowned in thought. “I’m not sure, honestly. I do think that she would have said no if she really was against the idea, though. She’s got spirit, I think.”

“Okay.”

“Hey,” I looked up at him. “Michael, I know you. Don’t beat yourself up over this. We’ll make sure nothing happens, alright?”

Michael closed his eyes tightly. “Alright. I just…I don’t know if I would ever forgive myself if someone got hurt because of me.”

A flashback of Michael smacking into the wall and the blood flying from Lyn’s arm shot through my head. I swallowed thickly as guilt rested heavy in my stomach and said, “Yeah, I get that.”

The sun dipped below the skyline as it started to get dark. It was only 6:00 now, and we had to wait until closing. Stupid winter and shorter days. It was starting to get too cold for me to stick around much longer, so I gently pushed away from Michael and stood up, my body shivering from the loss of contact. I fiddled with my glasses anxiously.

“I’m going to head back to my room for a bit,” I said. “See you soon.”

“See you soon,” echoed Michael.

XXX

“Hey, Ally?” The RA leaned against my doorway. “There’s someone waiting for you outside.”

I glanced at Sarah before pushing myself away from my desk. The RA walked all the way to the door with me before leaving without saying a word. I pushed open the door and saw Lyn standing there, her cheeks pink from the cold.

“Hey! Why didn’t you just text me?”

“Left my phone in my room,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t really want it to get ruined.”

I stepped out of the way to let her in. She gave me an appreciative smile as she came in. I wasn’t sure where we should go, since Sarah was still in our room. I decided on the common area and led Lyn that way.

After a quick look around, I walked in once I saw it was empty. I sat down on one of the sagging couches and Lyn plopped down besides me. She slipped her hat off and ran her hand over her hair to smooth it down. She took my hand into hers, which was freezing, and gave it a quick kiss.

“Are you feeling nervous?” she asked, her eyes searching.

“I’m definitely feeling it, yeah.”

“That’s good,” Lyn laughed. “I’m scared shitless.”

I nodded in understanding. “You’re not alone in that feeling.”

Lyn ran her free hand over her face before squeezing her ear. “That’s great to hear. Like seriously, you do all this crazy shit, and it always amazes me. Well, it makes me want to kill you first, but then I’m amazed. I don’t know how you can keep it up.”

I mulled over that for a few minutes before saying quietly, “Because no one else can. I mean…yeah, I totally scared. I literally think I’m going to die each time we go out, or that I was so stupid for doing this, or for dragging you guys into this. But…” I frowned, scrubbing a hand against my eye, “someone has to do this. I would feel terrible if someone else died while I sat by and did nothing about it, you know?”

Lyn looked thoughtful as she nodded. She didn’t say anything else as she released my hand, instead slipping her arm around me and taking my other hand back. She kissed the top of my head and held me close. I closed my eyes, taking comfort in her presence.

To be perfectly honest, I never would have done this alone. It was only because I had Lyn and Michael that I was able to do this. Not even counting the close encounters, it was really traumatizing to see how someone died. They have been here for me this whole time, and for that, I’m forever grateful. Sure, we’ll all be in therapy because it, probably. But at least it won’t be alone. At least someone I know will always understand what I’m going through, on some level. And hopefully after this was all done, we could figure out a way to stop Kinkly once and for all. Then it would all be over, and we can go back to being normal students. Students who were worried about their exams, not about whether they’ll be haunted that evening while studying in the library.

We sat together like this until it was time to go. My stomach lurched as we stood up, the realization of what we were about to do catching up with me. Lyn squeezed my hand tightly, her jaw set determinately. I could see the fear dancing in her eyes, the way she kept cracking her fingers, but she was ready to go. When she caught me staring, she winked at me with an easy smirk.

“Hey, we’re the Spook Searchers, this is what we do,” she said jokingly. “We search for spooks.”

“I don’t think dealing with monsters and witches is part of the description,” I pointed out.

She rolled her eyes as she held the door open for me. Startling, the wind was ranging outside. Despites my protests, Lyn pushed my back to my room. She was firmly insisting (read: leaving no room for argument) that I put on a pair of pants. According to her, every time we’ve gone there, we’ve had to flee outside and that I wasn’t going to be freezing my ass off just for the sake of my style. She had a point, but that didn’t mean I agreed with her. However, I sullenly complied because it did make sense.

Finally, we left Lukas and made a painful walk to the Athletic Centre, hopefully for the last time. The wind was biting into my face. It felt like tiny little cuts were opening on my skin. The walk only lasted 5ish minutes, but it sure as hell felt longer than that. Michael and Katherine were there when we showed up.

Michael grinned when he saw us, though I could see the tightness in his face. Katherine wasn’t even attempting to smile, instead glaring at us moodily. I gave Michael a quick hug while I nodded to her. She just stared back. Yay, this was going to be really fun.

Lyn patted Michael on the back and gave Katherine a nod of acknowledgement as she pushed the door open. Her friend was sitting at the desk and looked up as we walked over. Apparently, she had spoken to him the other day and told him this huge lie about how she wanted to sneak us into the pool for a secret party. She told him it was totally safe and that she’d lock up afterwards. Her ability to come up with believable lies was really amusing to me. First a camping trip gone wrong now this.

“Just make sure you put everything back to where it belongs,” he said to her nervously as he handed over the key.

“I totally will!” said Lyn in a bubble-gum tone. “Thanks so much for doing this for me, Hassan.”

“You owe me one.”

She gave him a big hug. “Yup! Have a good night, buddy.”

A smile flickered onto his face. “Yeah, yeah, you too, Lyn.”

Lyn cheerfully waved to him as he left the building. After she was sure he was gone, she quickly locked the main doors. Her shoulders were tense with stress as she came back over to the three of us.

“This better go well,” she said as she pocketed the keys.

“I think it will!” said Michael with a fist pump. “I have a really good feeling about it this time. Plus, look at all this awesome stuff I have!” He held his bag open for us to look inside. I saw bags of salts, some knives, and amulets. Katherine stuck her hand in there and pulled out the necklaces.

“I need you guys to put this on,” she said as she handed one to each of us. Michael readily put his on while Lyn stared at hers skeptically. I understand why, since the last time we relied on jewelry it didn’t do much for us. I took mine from Katherine and slipped it on, the weight of it feeling a little strange. Lyn finally shrugged and put hers on as well.

Katherine stuck her hand into her coat pocket and pulled out a small object. I felt my brows raise in surprise as she flicked it open, revealing the blade inside. I winced as she sliced her finger open. Michael’s face went pale, and Lyn frowned, her ears lighting up. Katherine hissed as she pressed the bloody digit to the center of her amulet, and it started to glow brightly. She muttered something under her breath and the brightness dimmed, the necklace reflecting only a warm glow.

“Who’s next?” she asked with her hand outstretched.

Michael tentatively stuck his hand out. Katherine took his hand gently, before quickly nicking the skin open. Michael’s face scrunched slightly in discomfort but otherwise he said nothing. She pressed her finger on top of his before placing it on the amulet. The same light show happened before it dimmed down.

I was about to lift my hand when Lyn quickly thrusted hers out. Katherine glanced up at her before cutting her thumb open, causing Lyn to flinch. She had her eyes closed the whole time Katherine worked silently. After it was over, she sucked on the thumb as if that would help with the pain.

Finally, I was up, and I gave her my hand. Katherine’s eyes searched mine before she took my hand into hers. Her grip was surprisingly gentle as she looked at my fingers. She grabbed my ring finger and sliced the knife against the skin. I felt the tingling in my face from the pain as she pressed our fingers together. I only just noticed now that she used a different finger for each of us, as three of her fingers dripped with blood. Once she was done with me, she quickly stepped away and dug out a clean thing of gauze with her other hand. She ripped the thing open with her free hand and grimaced as she pressed her fingers into it.

“Here, let me help,” said Lyn. She reached over the desk and grabbed the first aid kit. She quickly wiped up the blood and wrapped each of them in a small gauze.

“Thanks,” muttered Katherine.

Michael fingered his amulet with a curious look. “So…what was the point of that?”

“Protection,” said Katherine. “Your blood mixed with a witch’s should be a much better protection against anything that might try to take your body from you. It will do little against physical harm, so you still gotta be careful.”

“Gotcha.” Michael smiled at me. “Should we head down, then?”

“If we’re all ready,” I said with a smile of my own. I certainly didn’t feel happy, but I didn’t want all of us to be freaking out, so I put on a brave face. I did a quick look around and when everyone nodded in agreement, we headed down.

The hall lights flickered on as we walked down the stairs. The pipes were moaning overhead as they settled. I could hear the fans working through the pool doors as we walked by. Michael handed Lyn something that was wrapped up in a bundle, causing her to look very confused.

“What’s this?”

“Something I think suits you best,” he said with a wink. I could see the trembling of his hands but he hid them behind his back so we wouldn’t see his fear.

She pulled the rope off the bundle and let the cloth fall to the floor. She gasped as she held out the sword in her hand. I was surprised to see a weapon like that too. I looked over at Michael with wide eyes, who just gave me a shaky thumbs up. Katherine was eyeing the weapon with a strange look before she looked away, wrapping her arms around herself.

“We should keep moving,” I said, my voice echoing into the darkness.

Our footsteps sounded incredibly loud as we approached the locker room. When we stood in front of it, Katherine frowned in trepidation. She poked around for a bit before sighing deeply through her nose.

“This is it, then?” she asked, looking at us.

Lyn nodded. “Yeah. This is where the big fucking angry ghost in. The other one is apparently in the mirrors where the bathroom and showers are.”

“’Kay.” Katherine shrugged her bag off. “This is going to be a very dangerous thing. Once I start, he’ll fight against me. He’ll probably attack us. I wouldn’t be surprised if the other ghosts around the area get involved. Are you all ready for that?”

I swallowed thickly and nodded. “We know what we signed up.” Ugh, my voice definitely cracked there a few times.

Katherine looked at me for several long seconds before turning away. “Alright. Just give me a few minutes to get ready then.”

Only a few minutes before shit hit the fan, oh boy. Those were going to be a long few minutes.

XXX

Michael.

Watching Katherine work was something weird for sure.

She sat down on the floor and poured a bag of her own salt around her in a protective ring. Next, she set up a few black and red candles around her. She pushed her bangs out of her eyes as she muttered to herself quietly. I wanted to ask what she was doing but I thought leaving her alone was the right move to make. I went over to where the others were leaning against the wall instead.

Lyn looked really pale as she watched Katherine. Her face was devoid of any showing emotion, but I could tell by the way she kept tugging at her ear that she was really nervous. Ally was biting her lip as she fiddled with the zipper of her jacket. She attempted to give me a smile when I stood next to her, but it came out looking grim.

“We’re going to be fine, Ally,” I said. I believed it, too. I had to.

She nodded slowly, her eyes unsure. “I think so too,” her voice was so quiet. “It’s just what happens after that I’m scared about.”

“Whattya mean?” I tilted my head.

“With Kinkly,” her voice cracked at the end. “Sure, we’re helping Fredrik here and that’s really awesome. But what about the actual murderer? We don’t exactly have tangible evidence that says ‘hey, this guy is the killer!’”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” We both were startled by Lyn’s sudden jump into the conversation. She tore her eyes away from Katherine and gave us a tight smile. “We’ve already done so many crazy things together, what’s one more? I’m sure that we’ll figure it out once we have time to think about it. But first, we gotta focus on this, you know?”

We both nodded in agreement. My heart was thudding rapidly in my chest suddenly. The temperature in the hallway started to drop and I looked over at Katherine. Her face was screwed up in concentration as she continued to mumble to herself. Her gaze lingered up and when I caught her eye, she nodded towards the door.

It was time.

Trying my very best to swallow my growing fear, I held out one bag of salt in one hand and an iron knife in the other. Lyn drew the sword smoothly from its scabbard and held it tightly in both hands, her knuckles white. Ally took a deep breath as she held onto her own knife. She reached for the door handle, but it ripped open before she could even touch it.

Fredrik in his monstrous form bellowed at us in the cramped space. Suddenly, I felt the floor shifting beneath my feet as the area expanded. I stumbled a little before getting my footing again. I wasn’t sure what happened, but this wasn’t the locker room anymore. It was, but it wasn’t.

The whole space was distorted. The lockers looked like they were curved and wider than they usually were. The tiles on the floor were red with blood and the walls moved as if they were breathing. The whole area felt alive. Fredrik stood in the middle of it, his mouth drooling bloody saliva. Fiona stood next to him, her expression dark and hard to read.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” she said grimly. “You’ve made a horrible mistake.”

Her face twisted horribly as her own body began to transform. My pulse was pounding in my ears and my hands shook violently. My eyes flickered to Katherine, who was chanting loudly now, her eyes glowing brightly. All we had to do was make sure nothing bad happened to her while she finished.

Fredrik lurched forward, his powerful legs carrying him forward. We scattered away from the attack. He whirled and immediately went towards Katherine. My legs felt like lead. I tried to move but I couldn’t. I looked down and saw that my legs were trapped in a gory cast. I yelled in surprise, stabbing at it with the knife. Katherine was in danger, and I was helpless to do anything for her.

I looked up when I heard Fredrik scream. Lyn stood in front of Katherine, her eyes wide in fear but she held her ground. Fredrik’s face was dripping with fresh blood and the sword glistened with blood.

“That’s for scarring me, asshole!” Lyn swung the blade heavily, causing Fredrik to draw back.

Quickly I cut myself out of the gore cast and was about to run over to where they were when Lyn pointed over. “Go to Ally! I’ve got this!”

That sounded like a lie, but I wasn’t going to argue once I saw that Fiona was swiping at Ally, who was trapped waist deep in a gory hold. I ripped open one of the bags of salt I had and threw it directly at Fiona. She shrieked as she tore at her face. Pieces of flesh fell to the ground with a sickening wet sound as the blood welled on her face. The salt that landed on Ally’s gory prison started to dissolve and she started tearing chunks off with her own knife.

“What is this stuff!?” Ally scrambled back so we were side to side.

“I have no idea, but it felt very…fleshy,” I said with a heavy swallow. I was not going to be sick here.

Ally looked sick at the thought but nodded. “Okay. Okay. We need to stop them from getting to Kat.”

I nodded in agreement. I handed Ally a bag of salt. She looked around before kneeling down and ran the knife through a puddle of something liquid. She stuck the knife in the bag and pulled it back out, the blade now covered in salt. Geez, that was so quick thinking. I was about to do the same thing when Fiona screamed at us.

“YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER FOR THAT, HUMAN. I WILL KILL YOU!” Her voice was distorted, sounding like it was being layered with something else. Her back ripped open with a wet sound as a second pair of bloody arms grew from her back. Her head twisted with a vicious crack as her jaw opened widely like a snake’s, only it didn’t seem to have a stopping point. Ally and I stepped away in fear.

We ran away from her attacks, each punch pounding into the floor with a fleshy sound. The floor kept trying to get a hold of us with its gory prison. Bones grew from the floor like tree roots, and we had to dodge them so we didn’t trip. Fiona was howling behind us like wounded animal. I could see the pain in Ally’s face as she tried her best to keep moving forward. But no matter how far we ran, it was like we couldn’t get away.

I barely felt fear as we rolled away from a smash of her claws. My body was running on instinct to survive. There were nearly no thoughts in my head besides run, survive, get away, dodge. Fiona picked something up that suspiciously looked like a body without a head and threw it at us. I shouted as we fell to the floor. Hands with rotting flesh shot through the floor and grabbed at us, keeping us in place. I struggled against their slimy grip, sweat dripping down my face. Fiona leisurely approached us, her twisted features manic.

“You should have kept your nose of this, Ally,” she said quietly. I could see the pain in her eyes, the agony she was feeling. She raised one hand, claws ready to tear into us.

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes widened in shock. I twisted around to look at Ally, who’s face looked utterly heartbroken.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’m sorry that you’ve been forced to become this thing, Fiona. I’m sorry that they gave up on you and your brother so easily. I mean it, and I meant it last time. What happened to you two was tragic and it’s so horrible that no one tried harder. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through, I really can’t. B-but,” there were tears streaming down her face, “I know you don’t want to do this. I-I saw how David was being controlled.”

Tears sprung to my own eyes as Fiona hesitated. There was a battle of conflict playing out on her face. Ally closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. “You are in control here, Fiona.”

Fiona’s face twisted as she howled. She brought down both arms.

XXX

Lyn.

The sword was heavy in my hands as I swung it.

I thought it would be like a baseball bat, but man was I wrong. This thing was wearing me down so quickly. I could hear Katherine behind me, continuing with the spell. The hair on the back of my neck and arms were standing on end as the pressure around us continued to increase.

There was blood dripping off the sword where I had sliced Fredrik. My hands were covered in it from the splash back. My chest was rising and falling heavily as I panted. My whole body was shaking from the effort of keeping her safe. My heart was racing from a mix of adrenaline and fear. My stomach felt like it was cramping shut.

I was so worried about Ally and Michael too. I saw Michael run off to go help Ally, but I haven’t seen them since. I really had no idea what was going on and it was freaking me out big time. This whole place looked like a fucked-up rejection from a horror movie or something. The walls moved away from you each time you took a step. The floor fucking looked like it was made of human bodies. If I stayed still for too long, rotten hands reach up and try to grab me, or some gory entity does.

Fredrik watched me carefully, circling around. I sluggishly followed him with my eyes, careful to have the sword pointed at him the whole time. He was waiting for me to let my guard down. That wasn’t going to happen.

Katherine gasped loudly behind me, causing me to look back. Fredrik screeched as he launched himself at me. I swore viciously as I tried to defend myself. I really didn’t want another scar to match.

“Step back and swing upwards.” A jolt of panic shot through my whole system.

I did as the voice said, and Fredrik’s claw missed my face by half an inch. I swung upwards and caught him by the chin, Blood sprayed all over me and I blinked it out of my eyes as I stumbled back.

“Duck, then thrust forward.”

Again, I did as it said. The sound of his claws rushing by filled me with dread as I took a huge step forward. I jabbed the blade into his belly. Fredrik shrieked in pain as he doubled over, stumbling away from us.

“Good job. Stay close to the witch now.”

“Who are you?” I asked into the wind.

“Someone trying to help you, darling. I know we’ve never talked before, but you have to trust me.”

I shook my head as I stepped back. I stopped next to Katherine, who was breathing heavily. She pushed sweaty bangs from her face and looked up at me, her face going pale as she took in my appearance. I felt disgusting, so I could only imagine what I looked like.

“Are you finished?” I asked, kneeling down next to her.

Katherine nodded quickly. “It should only take a minute for the effects to kick in now.”

“Thank God,” I muttered darkly.

“Are you hurt?”

I glanced at my hands and shrugged. “I really couldn’t tell ya, honestly.”

“That’s…that’s fair.” She pulled her knees to her chest, her eyes wide with fear. “This place is so fucked. Is this what you’ve been dealing with the whole time?”

I shook my head. “Mostly just insane shit happening in the locker rooms. Though I took a lovely blood shower once,” I said sarcastically.

Katherine opened her mouth to say something when there was a huge roar that shook both of us to the core. Fredrik was writhing on the floor, clawing at his skin. Blood gushed from his self-mutilation. My stomach lurched from the display, and I looked away. But when I heard him howling, I found myself looking once more. Layers of flesh peeled away from his body. Bones became exposed as they crumbled away. Organs were exposed as they melted away into nothing.

“What’s happening to him?” I asked, my voice thick with fear.

“The monster is dying,” Katherine said flatly. “The human soul is becoming exposed.”

I watched in horror at the remaining parts of what was Fredrik dissolve into a frothy liquid. From the remains stood a boy, not much older than Ally or me. He looked scared and confused as he looked around. When he saw us, he tripped over the bones of the monster as he tried to walk over. He stopped a couple feet short of us and fell to his knees.

“You saved me,” he cried. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Katherine softly. “I hope you have a better time in the Shadow Lands, Fredrik Moore. I know this journey hasn’t been easy for you.”

He wiped at his eyes and nodded. “I hope so. Is…is my sister here?”

Katherine lifted her hand and pointed. Fredrik looked over and gasped when he saw his sister standing over Ally and Michael. I felt fear coarse through my veins as I saw her bring down her own claws. I screamed out their names as I tried to get to my feet. Tears left paths down my blood covered face as I stumbled over to where they were.

The plume of dust dissipated, revealing a very stunned Ally and Michael but otherwise unharmed. I collapsed next to them, grabbing a hand from each of them and trying to control my crying.

“We’re okay,” coughed Ally. Her eyes widened as she took in my appearance. “Are you okay?!”

I nodded as I squeezed her hand. “I think so,” I said with a hiccup.

Michael sat up, his face pale and ashy looking. “I’m okay too, in case you forgot I was here.” He said it jokingly, but I could hear how weak his voice sounded.

“I’m glad you’re okay too,” I sniffled as I gave his hand a good squeeze.

I stiffened when I saw Fiona approached us. She was no longer a monstrous version of herself, instead looking like a young woman. There were tears dripping down her face as she bowed her head. Fredrik put his arm around her and rested his head on hers.

“Thank you, Ally…for saving me. He was controlling me, and I couldn’t stop myself from hurting you.” Fiona wiped at her face.

Ally smiled tiredly. “You’re welcome. I’m just glad you are together again.”

Fiona grabbed Fredrik’s hand tightly as she looked around. Both her and her brother looked confused as to where we were. That was not a good sign. Even though my body was physically exhausted, the panic that was settling into my bones was causing me to feel twitchy.

Then we heard the slow clapping.

XXX

Ally.

I looked around, but I couldn’t place where the clapping was coming from. Fiona and Fredrik both looked terrified. Michael sat up straighter as he looked around as well. Lyn’s pupils were wide with fear. Katherine stood wearily next to us.

“You need to get out of here,” whispered Fiona. “He’s coming.”

The whispers of ‘he’s coming’ echoed all around us. I shakily stood up. Lyn and Michael did the same. We instinctually stepped closer to each other. Lyn reached out and even pulled Katherine a bit closer.

“I can’t believe you managed to pull that off, Alexandra,” said his voice all around.

“Pulled what off?” I called out, hoping my voice sounded stronger than it felt.

There was an unsettling chuckle. “Getting rid of me from Fredrik. That required a lot of power. I didn’t think you’d be able to find someone to pull it off. But you proved me wrong.”

“Show yourself, you monster!” I yelled.

The earth shook underneath our feet violently. Fiona and Fredrik ran away from our group, disappearing from sight. The ground split open to reveal beating organs beneath our feet. Michael finally couldn’t hold it in anymore and threw up. Lyn looked sick too, but she managed to keep it down. Katherine couldn’t tear her eyes away from the horror that we were standing on. When there was another chuckle, the ground shook again.

“I’ve been here the whole time, Alexandra. This is my body you’re standing on, after all.”

Shocked coloured my face. How was that even possible? I stepped away from the seeping wounds at my feet, trying to make sense of it all.

Then he showed himself.

Robert Kinkly looked just as he always did. Round glasses, frumpy sweater with crazy wispy silver hair. He smiled at us and gave a polite clap for us. Lyn gritted her teeth and hefted the sword back up. Michael held the knife high as well, his hand steady despite his fear. Katherine looked petrified as she stepped slightly behind us. I didn’t blame her at all. All I wanted to do was ran away and hide away forever.

“Honestly, I do have to ask, how’d you figure it all out?” He tilted his head in that way that he always did when he asked us questions in class.

“I’m not telling you,” I spat out. God, I was feeling a lot braver than I actually was.

He blinked owlishly. “Huh. Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’ll just have to kill you three and make away with all that research you have. It will be tragic, three students losing their lives just before exams. But the roads are icy at this time of year, after all.”

“You’re a fucking psycho,” snarled Lyn. “I can’t believe you murdered all those people.”

“Language, Lyndsey. There is no reason for you to be speaking to me that way,” he scolded coolly. “Besides, I had to kill them. It was the only way for me to survive.”

“But why?” I cried out. “You died! I don’t understand how you’re even here!”

Kinkly held his hand up. “Patience, Alexandra. To be honest, I’m not quite sure myself. I remember when I died, and I remember begging for a second chance. The next thing I knew, I was alive and well. The only issue I ran into was my flesh began to rot away on me. However, I soon discovered I could stay alive so long as I could sacrifice someone else’s life in exchange for mine. And well…” he spread his hands out with a cold grin. “It was obvious who I was going to choose.”

“But…” Michael’s voice cracked with emotion. “How could you do that to innocent people? Amelia and the Moore siblings didn’t deserve that. Dahlia and Jamieson didn’t deserve that.”

Kinkly laughed with a shake of his head. “I didn’t kill Dahlia. She was already here when I died. But the others? Nobody cared when they were alive, and nobody cared when they died. Really, I may have been the way to swing the axe, but I wasn’t the one who killed them. Society did.”

I felt anger bubble in my chest as I took a step forward. “That’s a lie you tell yourself. These people, they had live. They had futures. You are the one who took that away from them, no one else!”

“Please, stop with the dramatics already,” he said with an eyeroll. “I told you so many times to keep to yourself and mind your own business. Really, your own death is on your hands. Shame, too. I thought you had potential.” His face twisted into something horrible. The grin was too large and stretched out, like it belonged on someone else’s face. His teeth were just slightly too pointed to be natural. He laughed loudly and the floor shook once more.

“Lie down and die for me, ALEXANDRA HOLLAND, LYNDSEY HART, AND MICHAEL YAMAMOTO.”

My whole body shook as panic shot through my brain. It was bad for a ghost to know your full name. It was really, really bad. But I didn’t really know why, I just knew it was. I could feel the power behind those words. I closed my eyes, ready for the end.

[secondgenerationnerd]

Broken Arrow pt 2

Author’s note: I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!!

Rating: M (swearing and some implied sexy times)

Words: 4331

If you asked Lian what happened in the three days that followed her parents’ deaths, she couldn’t tell you. Because she doesn’t think much over the next three days. Things come and go in flashes. Grandpa Ollie shows up with Grandma Dinah, telling her not to worry about the funeral arrangements. Jai holding her at night, even though she doesn’t sleep. Damian sitting with her. Jon asking if she needs anything. Irey getting her her favorite food, which she doesn’t eat.

         The first day, she keeps telling herself this is all a hoax. Just a training simulation gone wrong. The second day, she tells herself that Mom and Dad probably lost their memories. They’re coming to find her. They have to come home. The third day. she stops telling herself anything. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t scream, doesn’t talk. She wouldn’t even bother getting out of bed if it wasn’t for her friends. Irey and Mar’i take turns changing her clothes, as the three of them have had to sew each other up so much there’s nothing they haven’t seen. Lian lets them. What’s the point in fighting?

         She lays awake in bed, as the sunlight drifts over the sheets. She can feel Jai shift beside her. She turns over to look at him. Jai smiles at her, reaching out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear,” Hey, you sleep at all?”

         Lian doesn’t answer. Jai kisses her forehead, his arm slipping around her waist. Lian closes her eyes, letting his warmth spread to her icy bones. No one else has touched her in the last few days. Even Mar’i and Irey are careful to not touch her too much when they change her clothes. God, she just needs someone to hold her. She needs someone to hug her, to assure her everything will be ok. But none of them do that. Because in their eyes, when she’s upset, she doesn’t like anyone touching her. Even Jai is pulling away from her.

         “I know today is gonna suck ass, but know that we’re all here for you. Ok?” Lian doesn’t respond,” I love you, Lian.”

         Jai rolls out of bed and heads out of the room. Lian sits up and looks around her room. Titan’s tower has always been a third home to her (behind her house and wherever Uncle Jason was staying). One wall has her guitars on them- from the Gibson Les Paul grandpa Ollie got her for her birthday to the classic acoustic guitar from her dad. A few photos are placed around the room. One of her and the team in their uniforms, taken about a year ago. Another of her and Jai at a prom (was it his or hers, she can’t remember). One of her, Irey, and Mar’i, none of them older than 11, squished in the back seat of a car, giggling like crazy. Another of her and her dad.

         Lian stares at that photo. She’s about four and it’s Halloween. All the other girls in her preschool had come dressed up as princesses. She, on the other hand, had told her dad she wanted to go as her favorite superhero. She’d gone dressed up as him, in a costume that was meant for a little boy, but she didn’t care. He’d even dressed up in his uniform while they were at home. Ollie had taken the photo of the two archers. Lian grabs the photo and slams it down. Her heart pounds in her chest. Why does this have to be so fucking hard?

         She dresses herself. God, she’s been to so many funerals that she knows exactly what to wear and what to do. But then, she hasn’t been on this end before. As she pulls the dress on, she decides that today, no matter what, she will not cry. She won’t give the assholes who hate her, who judge her, who are supposed to be her allies, the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

         Lian looks at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes are brown, like her mother’s. Her hair black as midnight, like her mother’s. She has her father’s nose. She has his smile…well when she can smile. Her mother’s coloring for her father’s features. A sick twist of fate. She looks up at the knock on her door.

         Irey is shocked to see Lian dressed. Lian hates seeing Irey when she’s dressed for a funeral. Her long fiery hair is pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. The black dress doesn’t match her colorful spirit. Lian hates this. Why do they even have to wear black?

         “Oh, you’re ready.” Irey gives her a kind smile,” We’re ready to go when you are.”

         Lian nods. This is gonna suck….

           The church is packed with heroes. Her dad didn’t have many civilian friends. As far as they would know, he’d be on sabbatical until Lian turned 18. Then they’d say he died in a car crash. Or an accident. Or something. A few heroes give their condolences to Grandpa Ollie and Grandma Dinah. Most people avoid Lian. It probably doesn’t help that she gives off ‘talk to me and I’ll rip your fucking head off’ vibes.

         Lian sits away from the crowd. It’s a sad commentary on her life really. But she doesn’t care about most of the people here. Most of these heroes, who’d loved her father dearly, made her a pariah once they learned about her mother. They could go to hell for all she cares. She glances back, trying to find her team. They sit with their parents. Uncle Dick has his arm around Mar’I, the teen resting her head on her father’s shoulder. Is she thinking about her mother’s funeral?  Jai and Irey are squished between their parents, holding hands. Something she hasn’t seen them do since they were 11. When Jay Garret died. Jon and Damian are at their fathers’ sides, both mini versions, both quiet and somber.

         She whips around to the front as her breathing changes. Not now, please God, not now. Grandpa Ollie’s walking to the podium. Lian steels herself for what’s to come.

         “Thank you all for coming today,” he begins,” I wish it were under happier circumstances.”

         Lian listens as her grandfather talks about her father and his past. Surprisingly, he talks about her mom too. She recognizes the story he tells. Her dad told it to her once. Oliver doesn’t paint her mother only as a villain. She was a human who did horrible things and made bad choices, but wanted to change.

         “Now, Roy and Jade didn’t agree on a lot. The two fought like cats and dogs more often than not. One thing that they both could agree on though was how much they both loved their daughter, Lian Alice,” Lian’s breathing stops,” Roy told me once, the reason Jade left was so she could get her head on straight. To be the mother that Lian deserved. 13 years ago when Lian was killed-“

         Lian has a flash of her premature death. Her house crashing down around her. A banister hitting her head. Dust stinging her eyes. Screaming for her daddy to help.

         “-When Lian was killed and before she was resurrected, Roy was devastated. We all were, but Roy Harper loved his little girl more than anything in this world. When she was brought back, Roy cried every night for weeks. He’d been given a second chance with this beautiful girl. He’d often say to me ‘I’m not raising her to be like me or not be like her mother. I’m raising her to be Lian. I’m raising a headstrong, sarcastic, mischievous little girl. If I do my job right, she will still be all those things, but she will know that the world isn’t black and white. She will make her own path and have the strength to move past any obstacle.’”

         Lian’s throat tightens as he continues, this time speaking directly to her,” Lian, sweetheart, I cannot begin to imagine what you are feeling. I can’t imagine what’s going through your head the last couple of days. What I do know, sweetheart, is how much your parents loved you. They were so, so proud of you. Your mom once said in an interview ‘I saw Lian on the news the other day. Little Red Hood. She roundhouse kicked some dumbass robber in the face. Sent him to jail. I’m happy she didn’t end up like me.’”

         Lian can feel everyone’s eyes on her. They’re waiting for her to react. They’re waiting for her to cry. They’re waiting for her to fall apart. They’re waiting. She doesn’t move. She can’t move. The second she does, she’ll break. And she’s not sure she can put herself back together.

         “We lost two lives this week,” Oliver starts wrapping up,” It’s not the first time we’ve lost someone. Every Hero that goes into the field knows the risks. Roy knew this better than anyone and he was always scared about how he would leave things with Lian. So he made her videos. Every time he left for a mission, he recorded a video for her and asked me to show it at the funeral. I never asked why.”

         They look at the screens. Her dad’s smiling face shows up,” Hey, pum’kin.”

         Lian is out of her seat. She doesn’t care that everyone is staring. She stands in front of the screen, reaching out to touch her father’s face. It’s like she’s little again, in an over-sized t-shirt and stuffed bunny in hand, talking to him on the communicators,” I’d hoped you would never have to watch one of these damn videos. If you are then…I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry, squeaker. I’m sorry I won’t be there for your birthday.  I’m sorry I won’t be there to walk you down the aisle or see you holding any of my future grandkids.

         “I am sorry. That’s what I need you to understand. I am so, so sorry. I didn’t want to leave you. Lian feels tears burn her eyes,” but I did. It was my time I guess. And let me tell you, pum’kin. I had a hell of a go. I made a difference in this world. I saved so many lives and touched so many more.

         “Most importantly, I got to see my baby girl grow into a strong, intelligent, smart-ass woman,” Roy wipes his eyes,” God, Li. If I’m remembered for anything, I hope it’s being your dad. You, my magnificent, beautiful, beloved daughter, are a fucking force to be reckoned with. You hold back so much. I know some assholes have given you shit about your mom, which is why I made Ollie promise to show this video at the-my funeral. Because I want you to know I have your back. I saw what they did and I saw how it drove you to be the best. And you are. I am so incredibly proud of you, Lian Alice Ngyuen- Harper.”

         “I am proud of your passion, your temper, your loyalty. I am proud of your perseverance and your drive. I’m proud of all your accomplishments. Doesn’t matter which one, I’m proud of everything you have done and will ever do,” Lian feels something wet dripping from her chin. Her breathing is shaky. Dad smiles at her. With her smile.

         “I love you, squeaker. I love you so fucking much. I have loved all the hugs and kisses you’ve given me. I have loved every day I’ve gotten with you. I’ve loved every Halloween and every Christmas and every Father's Day. I’ve loved every day we spent all day listening to old records and talking. I’ve loved every first day of school and hearing about your newest crush,” He chuckles before teasing,” Maybe not Jai. But he’s treated you right so far. As long as he does right by you, he has my blessing.

         “God, Lian. I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss everything about you. I’ve made this video hundreds of times by now. It never gets easier. So, I’m not saying goodbye. Because I’m not really gone. I’m right next to you, by your side. And I will always be there, cheering you on. If there’s anything I want you to remember, any last-minute advice I can think about, it’s this. Draw the arrow back, breath, then let it go.” Lian releases a sharp breath,” I love you, pum’kin. Don’t you ever forget that.”

         He blows her a kiss. Lian stares at the screen after it’s faded to black. Her heartbeats one, two, three times. Then she’s running. Her heels fly off and she’s sprinting down the aisle and out the door. Someone calls her name. Her lungs burn and her muscles are tight after days of not being used. Her braid hits her back and her dress restricts her legs. But that doesn’t stop her.

         She runs. She runs. She runs. Until she collapses at the edge of Star City. Her feet are raw and every muscle burns. She’s still crying. Why? Why is she crying? She needs to stop. She needs everything to stop. She needs her dad-

         “Lian?” Lian looks up. Mar’i floats down beside her. Lian curls away from her friend,” I would ask if you are ok, but I believe that is a stupid question to ask.”

         “Does it ever stop?” It’s the first thing she’s said since Jason told her she’s an orphan.

         “Does what stop?”

         “Does the…the pain ever stop? Feeling like-like you can’t breathe?” Mar’i is the only person on their team who has lost a parent who was her entire world,” What was it like when your mom died?”

         Mar’i is quiet for a moment,” When my mother died, I did not know what to feel. I was only 8 years old. All I understood was my mother went to bed one night and did not wake up. For days, I waited for her to come into my room. To pick me up and hold me in her arms. Tell me everything would be ok. That did not happen. It was not until I was leaving Tamaran that it…hit me. I cried for days after arriving on Earth. It did not feel like I was unable to breathe. More like I would never be happy again.”

         “Does it ever stop?”

         “It fades. I still have days where I ache for her. I ache to hear her voice sing me to sleep or feel her hug me once more. To tell me she loves me to the ends of the universe.”

         Lian whimpers,” I lost both my parents, Mar. I don’t even remember the last time I talked to my mom and I miss her.”

         “Do you love her?”

         “Huh?”

         “Do you love your mother?”

         “I-Yes.”

         “Then it does not matter what you said. You love her and she loved you. Do not let anyone make you feel as if you are wrong to mourn her,” Mar’i offers her a handkerchief. Lian takes it, wiping her eyes,” Do you mind me asking a question?”

         “Go ahead.”

         “What did your father mean when he said ‘draw the arrow back, aim, and let it go?”

         “When…when he was teaching me archery, I had a habit of trying to aim the arrow before shooting. Then I’d hold it too long. I missed a lot and got really angry. D-Dad told me I was holding on too long. ‘Draw it back, aim, let go. Simple as that, squeaker.’” Lian sniffles,” As I got older, we would say that to each other when things are hard. Life is just getting ready to send us something better.”

         “So he’s telling you not to hold on to all of this?”

         “More or less.”

         “Will you?”

         “I-I don’t know.” Lian shakes her head,” I just…I want to go home. My home. Not the tower. Not Uncle Jason’s apartment. Not Grandpa Ollie’s place.”

         “Okay,” Mar’i stands, holding her hand out for her godsister. Lian accepts it. Mar’i has her friend wrap her arms around her neck before flying into the air. Lian is aware of how warm Mar’i’s skin is, the May sunlight overcharging her powers. It does nothing to the chill in her bones. They stop at her front door,” Do you want any company?”

         “No,” Lian shakes her head,” I want to be alone for a while. Can you tell Uncle Jai and Grandpa Ollie that I’m ok?”

         “Of course,” Mar’i pauses,” I love you, Lian.”

         Lian gives her a half smile that neither of them believes,” Love you too, Falling Star.”

         As Mar’i flies away, Lian braces herself before entering the house. It’s wrong to be here without him. Knowing he won’t be coming home soon. He’s everywhere she looks. In the pictures on the wall, in the boots by the door, the crappy music on the CD rack. Lian stops in the living room. One of his old jackets hangs over an armchair. A few dishes sit in the drying rack. The house is quiet. Then the phone rings. She lets it go to voicemail.

         “This is Joe’s crematorium. You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em- DAD!” Lian's voice laughs on the recording.

         “Ignore my daughter. You’ve reached Roy and Lian,” Her dad’s chuckling,” We aren’t here at the moment, but leave a message and one of us will get back to you-“

         Lian rips the phone from the wall and throws it as hard as she can. It crashes through the window. Lian starts screaming again. She hears dishes shatter on the ground, cutting her feet. She throws books and tips the furniture. She’s not sure how long she sits there afterward. She looks at the shattered remains of her life.

         “Lian?” Jai’s voice calls out as he walks in the front door. He enters the living room to find her sitting on the ground, surrounded by glass shards and broken plates,” Oh, baby.”

         “My dad’s dead.” Her voice is hoarse. Jai steps over the mess and lifts her into his arms,” My dad died trying to save my mom. To bring her home to me.”

         “I know, babe,” He carries her upstairs to her bedroom,” I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

         He sets her on her bed. Carefully, he pulls her dress off. Lian feels goosebumps rise on her skin as the cool air touches it. Jai starts to move away, but she grabs his hand. She makes him look at her,” Don’t leave me.”

         “I’m not going to leave y-“ Lian jumps to her feet, throwing her arms around his neck. The kiss is desperate on her part, pressing her entire body against his. She needs him. She needs something to take her mind off the pain in her heart. Jai gently pushes her back,” Babe-“

         “Don’t,” She begs,” Please don’t push me away. I-I don’t want- I need- please.”

         “Lian, you’re grieving,” Jai is trying very hard to not stare at his half-naked girlfriend’s body.

         “I’m going to be grieving for the rest of my life,” she says bitterly,” No one’s- I need someone to touch me. To let me know I’m still here. I need to not feel empty. Please.”

         “Lian…”

         “Jai. I need you.” She’s desperate. The words in and of themselves are desperate. But they work. She knows she’ll regret it later, but right now she loses herself in the taste of his mouth. Ripping his shirt off, running her hands down his burly chest, unbuckling his belt. Jai lifts her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Lian lets him. She lets him rip her bra and panties off. She lets him lay her on the bed, his tongue in her mouth. She lets him kiss her neck, her breasts, her belly, between her legs. She lets him thrust inside her, taking her the way she needs him to.

         This time is different. Usually, when they have sex, they talk almost nonstop. Teasing each other, obnoxiously flirting, hell they once had an argument about guitars while screwing. But this time, neither of them speak. He’s gentler than normal, which she hates. She doesn’t want gentle. She wants bruises that won’t go away. She wants to not be able to walk in the morning. She wants him to use his super strength as much as he wants. But it works. If just for a while, she forgets everything. All that matters right now is her and Jai.

         Later, she lays on her sweaty sheets, staring out the window. Jai spoons her from behind, pressing soft kisses to her shoulder,” Do you want to talk?”

         “I don’t know,” She turns to face him. He gently pushes her loose hair from her eyes,” I’m sorry.”

         “For what?” He asks, genuinely confused.

         “I don’t know. It just seems like that’s what I need to say here. I more or less just forced you into screwing me-“

         “Hey,” Jai makes her look at him,” I wanted that. I always want you. You told me that’s what you needed.”

         “I just… I don’t know what to do, babe,” Tears start to form in her eyes,” How am I-where am I going to live? I turn 18 in less than three months-“

         “Hey,” Jai holds her face with one hand,” you don’t have to think about that.”

         “But I am. Everyone keeps telling me what I do or don’t have to think about. I am thinking about it. I'm thinking about where I’m going to live. I’m thinking about how I’m going to pay for college. I'm thinking about how my parents died. I’m thinking about it and I can’t stop,” Lian feels Jai wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. She nuzzles her face into his neck,” I can’t stop thinking about everything my dad is going to miss. My high school graduation, my college graduation, grandkids, our wedd-“

         She stops talking. She and Jai have been dating for close to three years now, and she’s more than certain he’s the one. But they haven’t talked very much about marriage. She wants to marry him. She wants to be his wife. But she’s not sure if he wants that.

         “Hey,” Jai makes her look at him,” did you hear him on that video? He’s gonna be at our wedding, Lian, right by your side. He’ll be there with your mom. And they’re going to see their baby girl get married.”

         “w-what?” Lian meets Jai’s eyes. They’re brown, somewhat like hers, but much lighter. Almost golden. She thinks it has something to do with the speed force. Lightning in his eyes.

         “Lian, I’m not proposing. Not yet. But I want you to know I love you. I love you and I can’t imagine my life without you. I know you’re hurting right now and you won’t be ok for a long time. That’s ok. Because I’m not going anywhere.” He gives her a loving smile,” I’m never going to leave you. So, whatever you need to heal, whether it’s being alone or having meaningless sex or crying or screaming or sparring, I’m happy to help however I can.”

         Lian starts crying again. This time, Jai holds her tight. He rubs soft circles on her back, kissing her temple. He murmurs sweet nothings into her hair, assuring her that she’s ok. They’re ok. She’s going to be ok. He’s right there. He’s not going anywhere. She cries into his neck, waiting for her parents.

         She cries for her dad. For all the Sunday mornings they spent watching cartoons. For all of her performances that he came to. For all the fights they had-about boys, about chores, about her mom. For the nights they’d stay up late talking about everything and anything in the world. For the afternoons he spent teaching her archery. For the summer nights when he’d take her camping and teach her the constellations. For the nights he would hold her after she woke up screaming, unable to breathe, having seen her death again.

         She cries for her mother. For the few times they had truly connected. For the look of pride she gave Lian, even when they were on opposite sides of a fight. For the hugs, she’d given. For the coy bits of advice. For the performances she’d come to, leaving a note in her bag afterward. For the few times, when Mom and Dad had gotten along, that she’d make pancakes. From scratch, not from a box.

         Lian cries and cries and cries until she can’t anymore. Her eyes hurt and her throat is raw. Jai gently wipes her tears away with his thumb. She looks up at him,” I love you, Jai-Jai.”

         “I love you too, Li,” he kisses her once before pulling the covers over them. Lian rests her head on his chest. She can feel his heartbeat right against her cheek.

         “Promise me you won’t go. Promise me you won’t leave too.”

         “I promise,” His voice is low, head tilting to the side. Lian lets the sound of his even breathing and forever-rapid heart lull her to sleep.

         In a few hours, they’ll have to wake up. She’ll have to answer all the worried messages from her friends and family. She’ll have to talk to her Uncle Jason and Grandpa Ollie. She’ll break down crying when she talks to them. Jai’ll stop and hold her while she sobs. She’ll have to shower and then she’ll realize how cut up her feet are. She’ll have to clean up the living room and kitchen. Then, maybe not now, maybe not this week, maybe not this month, but she’ll have to go through her Dad’s stuff. She’ll go through it and it’ll kill her.

         But that’s hours away. For now, she’s in the arms of one person who loves her.

         For now, she’s not alone.

         And, for now, that makes all the difference in the world.

[noodle-schrammy]

Panic "fool me my love"

Tills.p.o.v.

The days flee by pretty fast and it seemed that our guitarists cleared there problems as they confessed to us yesterday that they are in an relationship, we assured them we would not throw them out of the band I still can't believe that Paul told us that I mean yes we have some weird ideas but throwing out or guitarists only because they date each other I sighed while setting somethings done for the show today, as the day got around quit fast and everyone was a waiting the first pyro acts while Richard was leaning his head on Paul's shoulders I shook my head smiling as we entered the stage and as the part with the boats was getting closer I gazed how everyone got into there boats while sailing to the smaller stage as I was ready to head with the more hidden way to the smaller stage I counted trough if really everyone was there Ollie, Schneider, flake, scholle....Paul wait where is Paul as the others also noticed the missing smaller man we notices one of the boats there was he "verdammt I can't believe I'm still alive trough the fact how many times paul was being clumsy" I huffed out but got caught up by an other figure crawling up the boat who is that as I gestured one of the roadies to shine the light to the lost boat containing Paul and this weird kind of fan as the light got shifted to the boat Richard screamed something which I couldn't quit catch I made my way as fast as I can to the smaller stage ignoring the fans petting me as I was heading the stairs up I saw how Richard had an expression of an painful déjà-vu printed in his face as I starred back to the boat saw how this woman was trying to get Paul to fall of the boat which wasn't painfully since let's be elastic the fans would catch him with open arms just the way Paul acted was quit unsure for his own person he blankly starred at this woman not moving an inch while we try getting one of the security to this freak was Richard an step ahead screaming ar the top of his lungs to get him an boat as the boat arrived I glanced to Richard who had an lost and anxious face on him squeezed his shoulder while asking him "are you sure you can do this?" he pulled away turning his head to me and telling me with serious tone "yes since the security won't get there fast enough"

Richards P.o.v.

I got into the boat while sailed to the lost boat where Paul was sitting on the edge wildly shaking losing himself and everything around him into the void painfully holding his chest trying to breath through his nose without success, his chest fell and rose up fast faster than normal choking on the feeling of getting strangled, until i pulled him away while paul was pressing his eyes together as i pointed to the main stage where we ended up I was holding Paul near me and got on the small bridge we stumbled out of the stage while Paul grew more heavy as we ended up at the backstage I sank with him down watched him closely Paul opened his eyes while coughing and tearing up an stone fell from my heart as I saw him calming down Paul sat up still shaking looking irrated around until he met my eyes and tearfully smiled sitting up straight trying to breath again normally the pyro crew saw what was happening some called the security to get this freak outside while others called for medical help while an assistant gave Paul water. He got closer to me resting his back of the head on my chest while taking tender sips of the water as we waited while we heard the crowd cheer after the this woman getting dragged out. and till interrupting the cheering with the song finally playing in as we didn't saw anything from the backstage I still sing quietly the lyrics while holding Pauls free hand while one the medical assistant checking up if he didnt got injured after some time had passed was even Paul singing along it was beautiful his lower and mellow but still cheerful voice he got up leading me to the stage we stopped while he squeezed my hand turning around and whispering into my ear "I love you" with an cheerful smile I showed the same affection putting an hand on the back his head drawing his head closer to me ending in an kiss. While the song played out with the flashlights and lighter making it thousand percent more romantic as it already is, the crowd was humming and singing the song while waiving slowly with there hands in the air as our kiss ended I gazed into Paul's with affection filled baby blue eyes while beginning a new to sing the song , as the crowd applauded and the rest of our band was back on the stage shortly hugging Paul and standing again on spot to bring fire into this loving moment of blooming love and affection. The concert ended and we bowed down leaving afterwards the stage but before Paul and I left the stage holding hands tightly squeezing them together I noticed how something got carried to the front row and got handed us by the security an colourful flag we smiled at the gift and both wrapped us in to the flag while leaving the stage.

[junker-town]

Kemba Walker is loyal to Charlotte. Will the Hornets stay loyal to him?

Loyalty has meant everything to Kemba Walker thus far. Will that still be the case as he approaches free agency for the first time?

NEW YORK — Kemba Walker wants to keep some distance from his alma mater Connecticut’s decision to fire mens basketball head coach Kevin Ollie for “just cause” in March. But when asked about Ollie after his appearance at the National Basketball Player’s Association summer youth camp on Thursday, Walker couldn’t help but defend his friend.

“I try to stay away from that, but at the same time, K.O.’s my guy,” he admitted. “I love K.O. Great coach, even better person. Nobody deserves that. I try to stay away from that. But I’m on K.O.’s side.”

That’s a prime example of Walker’s loyalty. If you’re there for him, he’ll ride for you. That same loyalty is extended to the Charlotte Hornets franchise that selected him ninth overall in the 2011 NBA Draft.

Walker’s shown unwavering commitment to Charlotte since then, and he’ll approach his first-ever unrestricted free agency next summer with that sentiment at heart. It’s the same reason why he signed a four-year, $48 million contract extension in 2015 instead of holding out a summer longer to be in position for a bigger contract.

“They believed in me since Day 1. That’s what it’s about,” Walker said. “I’m gonna be loyal to the people who were loyal to me. But at the same time, it is a business, and I do understand that. I see everything that goes on throughout the league with other guys being traded and stuff like that. But [Charlotte]’s just where I wanna be. It’s where I wanna be.”

2017-18 was a season unlike any the 28-year-old guard has dealt with in his career. For the first time, his name was attached to trade rumors that legitimately picked up steam around the trade deadline. All the while, Charlotte posted its second straight 36-46 record, missing the playoffs for the third time in four years.

Hornets owner Michael Jordan eventually said he wouldn’t trade Walker “for just anybody,” and that he would move the All-Star only if a deal brought Charlotte another All-Star in return. But the Hornets did reportedly listen to offers on the guard who said he “put his heart and soul into this team, this city.” Of course the trade rumors bothered him?

“At first, yeah. I mean, who wouldn’t get bothered?” he said “Who wants to hear their name in trade rumors? That was my first time ever hearing about trade rumors or anything of that nature. But you know, I got over it. What can I do? I just went about it day by day.”

The question won’t be ‘What can Walker do?’ next July. It’ll be ‘What does Walker want to do?’”

Walker flashed a cheek-to-cheek smile. Actually, it was longer than a flash. It looked like a thought he’d held in his mind for some time.

After all, his 2019 free agency is fast approaching, and it’ll be the first time in his career that Walker is an unrestricted free agent who can sign with any team. Free agents-to-be rarely know what they’re going to do ahead of time, and even those who have an idea — like Paul George, who desperately wanted to be a Laker before re-signing for four years in Oklahoma City — rarely predict the future correctly.

“I have no idea, man. I have no idea,” Walker said. “I’ve never been a free agent before. I don’t even know how the process works. Whenever the time comes, I guess I’ll go through it. But yeah, I will have an option unless Charlotte gets something done. Who knows? I really don’t know.”

One thing the world does know, though, is that Walker’s from New York. He grew up in The Bronx, played high school ball at Rice, then stayed in the Big East for college at UConn, where he won an NCAA Championship in 2011. A hometown favorite, Walker has been linked to the New York Knicks more times throughout his career than he cares to remember.

He’s said before that he doesn’t think he’ll ever play for the Knicks, and it wouldn’t make too much sense now that they’re rebuilding. But there’s nothing better than playing in front of your hometown crowd.

“Every time I come home — ‘When you coming home to the Knicks?’ — that’s all I get now,” he laughed. “So I don’t know. MSG is a special place. The Knicks are a special team. Of course I was a Knicks fan growing up. Always rooted for the home team. But like I said, I really can’t see myself in a Knicks jersey — ONLY BECAUSE I’ve only been in one jersey. I really don’t know.”

New York has two teams now, though. Are the Nets an option?

“It’s always kind of weird because the Knicks are here, but now you’ve got Brooklyn. But I feel like people don’t know who to root for sometimes,” he said. “I love Brooklyn. I love the city of Brooklyn. There are definitely die-hard fans. That’s one thing about people from Brooklyn, they’re very loyal, they’re die-hard, they believe in their team. I love Brooklyn. I love going there. I love playing there. It always gives me a chance to come back home, too, so that’s why I love it as well. I like the organization, too. It’s cool.”

There’s no organization he loves more than Charlotte, though. This is going to be the biggest decision of his career, and if the Hornets don’t aggressively try to keep him, they leave the door open for Walker to walk out.

After all, at this stage in a player’s career, entering his eighth season and third contract, players begin to prioritize their future and their finances. Charlotte can offer Walker a five-year max contract worth $188 million. The most any other team can offer is a four-year deal at $139 million — exactly what George will make over his next four years in OKC.

The Hornets, though, haven’t put the most formidable team around the franchise’s best talent since Chris Paul. They’ve been to the playoffs only twice since drafting him: a 2014 first-round sweep at the hands of LeBron James’ Miami Heat, and a 2016 Game 7 first-round loss to the Dwyane Wade-led version of the same team.

Charlotte’s offseason moves may restore playoff expectations. The Hornets traded Dwight Howard for Timofey Mozgov, then turned Mozgov into Bismack Biyombo. They poached Spurs lead assistant James Borrego from Gregg Popovich, and Walker said he expects the team to play a lot faster and more up-tempo under his lead.

Charlotte also traded a chance at standout rookie point guard Shai Gilgeous-Alexander on draft day for a player who projects to help them immediately: wing Miles Bridges. And to put the icing on the cake, they added depth to their back court by signing Tony Parker to a two-year deal.

“I just couldn’t believe he left San Antonio,” Walker said. “I think he just wanted something new, especially at the end of his career. We really wanted him, give him a chance to play some minutes. It’s gonna be fun.”

But Charlotte still looks far from competing for anything significant, and that situation has caused many players of Walker’s caliber to look elsewhere. Home is where the heart is, and Walker’s home is New York. But his second home is Charlotte, and that’s where his loyalty lies.

“I just wanna do something special for Charlotte, man. I’ve been there going on eight years now,” he said. “We haven’t really been consistent since I’ve been there as far as winning and getting to the playoffs. I just wanna try to establish that culture at some point.

“Hopefully we can start this year, but that’s what I wanna do. I wanna change the organization to make it even better. I just want to make it a winning organization.”

That faith will be tested. Walker will be one of most sought-after players on the market next summer, and Charlotte will have to pay him to keep him. As of now, though, the Hornets are his clear first choice.

“I’ll be focused and I’ll try to play as best as I can so that when my time comes, I’ll have options,” he said. “But hopefully I wouldn’t have to go through it. I hope the Hornets get something done before anything, before any team even approaches me.”

[spuriusbrocoli]

So rather than wait for someone to dare me to post the first 5 songs on shuffle on my Spotify, I decided to skip the middleman (middleperson?) and just post just that.

“Amazing” by Kanye West ft. Jeezy (”808s and Heartbreak”): While I don’t know if 808s is better than “My Dark and Twisted Fantasy” or “Graduation”, it’s, well, amazing how much better Kanye did Drake even before Drake did. (Seriously guys, Drake sucks.)

“Gun” by CHVRCHES (”The Bones of What You Believe”): This is one of my ex’s favorite albums, and we listened to it quite a bit during what was ultimately a really tempestuous time for us as a couple. And while I can feel “The Bones of What You Believe” as being good in its own right, there’s also that inextricable level of emotionality associated with it. Music is complicated like that. :/

“Ready for You (Acoustic)” by Years and Years (”Communion”): I really like the “Communion” album proper, but it’s bonus tracks are a perfectly good reason of why albums shouldn’t have bonus tracks. I like ya, Olly Alexander, but your angsty whining over boning your ex works a lot better with a dark, sexy dance beat behind it.

“Much Too Late” by Matt and Kim (”Lightning”): Matt and Kim have released, like, four albums and have only made, like, one song. That’s not a criticism, by the way. Also, hearing Matt drop an f-bomb is pretty dissonantly hilarious.

“Shoomp” De La Soul ft. Sean Paul (”The Grind Date”): I’m not a fan of the message of “Grind Date”, but damn does it have a great flow and tight beats. It’s the sort of light touches of R&B vocals adding musical layers that I really love in this song. It’s a subtle reminder that electronica evolved out of disco, and while electronica and more contemporary disco have long since parted ways, song like “Shoomp” remind you of that fact.

“The Truth” Foster the People (”Supermodel”): Mark Foster’s vocals can only be described as operatic twang especially on this track, and the music and lyrics give the appropriate level of grandeur to back up the absurdity of that contradiction while still playing it straight.

“House Sparrow” by Xiu Xiu (”Dear God I Hate Myself”): I was literally wondering if Xiu Xiu would show up in this playiist when “House Sparrow” started. When I first listened to Xiu Xiu’s “Dear God I Hate Myself”, I couldn’t understand why in the fuck critics called them an experimental rock band. After listening to “A Promise” and “Fabulous Muscles”, I got why. In a way, they sort of were precursors to noise rock, but their later worked sort of moved away from it. Anyway, Xiu Xiu is great and this song has a fantastic control of its own oppressive atmosphere and fragmented lyrics. Just don’t listen to them unless you for some reason want to be drunk and sad.

“Intro” by OutKast (”Idlewind”): OutKast has always had an affinity for having people just talk in their album tracks, moving along a narrative that explores snippets of black urban life and culture. And I’m such a sucker for it. Andre 3000 plays pretentious Laurence Olivier remarkably well, walking the line between “impression” and “brutal satire of”.

“If I Could Change Your Mind” by HAIM (”Days Are Gone”): So you guys remember Iggy Azalea? Sorry for reminding you that she exists, but I have a point to make: So HAIM is a white sister trio whose music is heavily influenced by some old school R&B. But HAIM doesn’t put on affects and appropriate AAE to “sound black”, and for that reason they’re a lot more tolerable. HAIM doesn’t strike me as being insincere or appropriative with their R&B influences, and it’s limited to just that: influence. Beyond that, the song is some tight indie throwback. And it succeeds at being just that.

“Little Lover’s so Polite” by Sunset Pickups (”The Shingles Collection”): I feel about this track much the same as I do about the song that got me to listen to the “Lazy Eye”. It has a lot of really excellent buildup without any real climax. And that wouldn’t be a problem with less conventional music, but for the most part Sunset Pickups aren’t that avant-garde, at least not on the songs from them I’ve heard. So yeah, the lack of a driving, pump-you-up climax that indie has gotten so good at churning out does sort of leave you wanting more from the song.

“Sidewalk Sale” by Pansy Division (”Should’ve Taken Pictures”): “Sidewalk Sale” is exactly the kind of song Pansy Division should have just been content to make 200 versions of. It’s dumb and lacking in meaningful composition. It’s short and hinges on exactly one joke. And I love it. It’s exactly the kind of irreverent, sexed-up trash you listen to on a road trip with friends. Which I don’t do because I hate road trips and having friends. But still, you get my point.

[sturmxundxdrang]

die liebe | one shot to mareavera

@mareavera here, hope you like it <3 sorry about any english mistakes or anything xD 

Dark shoes clicked to the cold pavement floor; quick, determined steps towards the high grey building as she wrapped her arms around herself, protecting from the sharp wind. The pale sun started its way down, leaving space to the moon and the stars. With it, the cold of a usual dusk in Berlin.

The short frame pushed the high metal gates open, making her way straight to the door. There was no need to knock, and she knew that they would be there. Quickly, she hung her coat by the door, took her beanie off, before running a hand through her blonde pixie to adjust it. Finally, she closed the door behind her and gave a long look around the house; everything was peacefully organized. A smell of strong coffee came from the kitchen, and the silence was broken by the sound of Beethoven, from the second floor.

"Guys?" She called, raising an eyebrow. How unusual, she thought to herself, they should be practicing by now. With a shrug of shoulders, she started her way up the stairs, following the music. The door to their studio was open, and from the hallway she could already see the six of them.

"Flake, would you please turn it off?" Till asked, with a sigh. "I'm trying to write."

"It's supposed to help." Flake replied. "You can concentrate better."

"With Beethoven doing that mess, it's hard to concentrate on anything." Schneider laughed softly. "Check."

She stopped silently by the door, smiling as she watched the six of them. Flake had his eyes closed, enjoying the music as he shook his index finger slightly. Meanwhile, Till stared down at a few pages, a pencil in between his lips, brows furrowed. Ollie and Schneider played chess, right beside Till. Both of them staring down at the board; it was Ollie's turn, and if he didn't move his King, he'd lose. Paul watched the game over Schneider's shoulder with attention. As for Richard, he was laying on the couch, his guitar on top of him, holding a book to his face as he took a nap.

Paul was the first to notice her, but before he could say anything, she motioned for him to keep quiet, smirking and holding a finger in front of her lips. He immediately smirked at her and shook his head yes. Francesca stepped in silently, held the doorknob, and then slammed the door shut.

"Fucking hell!" Richard jumped awake, sitting down.

Landers had to sit back, laughing and holding to his belly. With the noise, Schneider knocked the chess board over, sending all the 32 chess pieces flying away. Flake got startled, grabbing a mic stand to protect himself, while Till got in front of Ollie, that stared at the door with wide eyes.

"My God! What is wrong with you?!" Schneider stood up, one of his hands on his chest and starting to take deep breaths.

"Mein Gott, I can't believe she scared you all!" Paul laughed, rushing to Francesca's side and pulling her for a hug, as she laughed loudly.

"What was that for?" Flake asked, letting go of the stand and looking around at the other boys. "To scare you!" She wrapped her arms around Paul, looking at her six best friends.

"Well, if that's what you wanted, you did a good job." Till shook his head, taking a deep breath as he walked towards her. "I thought I'd have to fight someone now." He chuckled, pulling her for a hug as well.

"Who would even walk in here?" She raised an eyebrow, wrapping her arms around Till's body and closing her eyes. "You should pay more attention, I stood by the door for a good few minutes."

"We didn't know you'd be here so early." Ollie shrugged, picking up the chess pieces, with Schneider's help. "Everyone was focused."

"I'll never forgive you." Schneider narrowed his eyes at her, but as soon as she walked towards him for a hug, he wrapped his arms around her curvy figure, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Bitte, don't ever do that again." Flake closed his eyes for a second.

"Why not? It's not like you haven't done that to me a thousand times before." She chuckled, hugging Ollie and placing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Did you know I could've had a heart attack?" Richard raised his eyebrow. "What would you guys do if I died?"

"Well, we would buy another Richard." Francesca laughed, knowing well that it would be enough to piss him off. "C'mon, Flakey, where's my hug?"

"I shouldn't." He shook his head no, but hugged her anyways.

"Don't be jerks. That was fun." Paul shrugged, plopping himself on the couch.

"Fun for you, that saw it coming." Richard rolled his eyes, giving Francesca a hug as she approached him. "What are you doing here so early, anyways?"

"Well," she plopped herself on the couch as well, followed by Till, that wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder, "I kinda... Got fired."

"What?" Ollie furrowed his brows, as they sat closer to her. "What happened?"

"Nothing much. My boss was being a bitch, you know what she has been doing." She shrugged, and then sighed, putting a hand on her face. "I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"You should've quit long ago." Richard said. "No one has to put up with someone else's bullshit, y'know?"

"Rich's right." Paul nodded, offering her a gentle smile.

"Besides, she lost a great employee. You can find something else." Flake reassured her, while Till massaged her shoulders slightly. "Yeah, but I need a job. Okay, she was a bitch, but it was paying the bills." She sighed, as she laid her head on Till's chest.

"Sweetheart, we'll help you. You don't have to worry." Till smiled.

"Yeah, it's not like you'll be homeless, anyways." Schneider chuckled, so she raised an eyebrow and chuckled as well.

As she looked around, at all of her best friends, she smiled back at them. It had been a very tiring day, she had argued with her boss the whole afternoon. The older woman didn't want her to leave for lunch, but she had been at work since 9am, and was starving, so she left anyways, and as soon as she came back, the boss called her up to her office, complaining on numerous things. Francesca had been working for her for almost two years now, and even if the guys told her she should quit, she knew it was hard to find a job these days, so she held tight to this one, hoping that one day her boss would change. But she didn't, things just kept getting worse. Wasn't for those six guys standing in front of her, she would be a nervous wreck because of the job.

"Are you going to take care of me?" She asked.

"Of course, Frankie." Till laughed softly, pulling her closer to him and leaving a kiss to her forehead.

"As long as you don't try to kill us again." Richard shrugged, before chuckling and placing a hand on her knee. "Y'know, we'll be here."

"What if I can't pay the rent?" She sighed.

"Well, then you can stay at my place." Ollie shrugged.

"Truth be told, you'll have six houses to choose." Paul chuckled.

"You can move every week." Schneider shrugged.

"Richard lives alone at that old apartment, also." Flake shrugged.

"Yeah." Richard smiled.

"Like I said, it's not like you're gonna be homeless." Schneider smiled at her.

"God, I love you guys." She smiled softly.

"You're our little girl, we take care of you." Till smiled.

"Are you feeling better?" Flake asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." She nodded. "You guys should go and play something for me." She smirked.

"Here you go." Richard shook his head, while the rest of them laughed softly.

"No, seriously." She chuckled. "Something soft... I don't know, what about Roter Sand?"

"Till could sing, we don't need to play." Schneider shrugged.

"If I'm not needed, I'll be downstairs." Richard stood up.

"As long as you bring us some hot cocoa..." Francesca chuckled, while he made his way out of the studio. That was his plan already, but he wouldn't really admit it, so instead of replying, he just gave them a shrug of shoulders.

Paul picked up his acoustic guitar, while Francesca got comfy, taking her shoes off and snuggling up to Lindemann's large body, keeping herself warm, and Ollie grabbed her a blanket, sitting down beside her and covering her with the blanket, that she gladly accepted. It didn't take long before Richard got upstairs, a tray in hands with seven mugs filled with hot cocoa and marshmallows. After everyone picked up their mugs and had a comfy place to sit down, Richard started whistling the beginning of Roter Sand, and then Paul started playing.

Till sang softly with a smile, his fingers playing with Francesca's blonde hair as he looked down at her. She looked up at him, smiling as well, before taking a sip of her drink. She looked at Flake, that had started singing as well, and chuckled, before closing her eyes to focus only in the music. She loved these six guys more than anything, and to have them by her side like that was like Heaven on Earth. They were always there for her, no matter what.

"You should really move in with me." Richard shrugged, as they finished the song. "Living alone kinda sucks."

"Yeah, I should." She chuckled, finishing her drink and yawning. "And maybe you all should sing me another song, just until I fall asleep." She closed her eyes, laying her head on Till's chest.

The six of them exchanged glances, a small smile on their lips as they watched their little girl; knowing about the bad day she had at work, they would do anything to make her feel better.

Richard grabbed his acoustic guitar as well, sat back down where he was, between Schneider and Flake, and after thinking for a few seconds, he started playing Ohne Dich, so the other guys followed his lead. With her eyes closed, Francesca smiled.

"I love you guys." She whispered.

"We love you too." Till whispered, placing a kiss to the top of her head, before starting to sing again.

[kadobeclothing]

How Eddie Large went from performing in a pub to drawing 15m viewers on TV – The Sun

HE got up on stage one night in the pub for a laugh — and 15 years later Eddie Large was one of the UK’s top entertainers, hosting a TV show with his comedy partner Syd Little. At its peak, the Little And Large Show pulled in 15 million viewers thanks to its mix of slapstick humour and Eddie’s cheeky digs at his put-upon straight man. 12 Comedy Legend Eddie Large, right, has died from coronavirus aged 78Credit: Getty Images – Getty12 At its peak, the Little And Large Show pulled in 15 million viewersCredit: Rex FeaturesAnd making fun of Syd was the basis of the duo’s act from the very first moment they unexpectedly found themselves on stage together. In 1963, Eddie was in the audience when he heckled skinny Syd — real name Cyril Mead — who was singing in a Manchester pub. Syd told Eddie, who worked as an electrician at the time, that he should come up on stage if he thought he could do better. So he did — and had the crowd in stitches. Last night Syd led tributes from across the entertainment world following the 78-year-old’s death from coronavirus while being treated in hospital for heart failure. He said: “We were together for 60 years. It wasn’t like having a partner. We were friends.” Ant and Dec tweeted: “He just loved making people laugh” while Jason Manford said: “Such a gentle, funny man.” Matt Lucas commented: “Eddie Large was really lovely and kind and encouraging to me when I was a nipper on Shooting Stars. So sad to hear of his passing.” ‘I cried my eyes out’ Sir Lenny Henry recalled: “Midnight Matinee Great Yarmouth 1978. I’d never heard laughter like it. Rude, raucous and rollicking.” Old pal Tommy Cannon, from rival Eighties comedy act Cannon and Ball, said: “Devastated to hear that my good friend Eddie Large has passed, very heavy hearts at home today.” Paul Chuckle added: “RIP the very talented Eddie Large.” Curly haired Eddie, real name, Edward McGinnis, first found fame with Syd Little in 1971 when they won the ITV talent show Opportunity Knocks. Eddie faced a series of health problems over the years. In 1993 a virus gave him heart failure and he suffered a stroke three years later. He needed a heart transplant in 2003 because he was barely able to walk across the road without getting out of breath. Eddie blamed his health issues on the stresses of the entertainment industry, saying: “I get a tremendous buzz from performing and need it like a drug. “But there are tremendous anxieties and strains, too, and they have taken their toll.” 12 Eddie making fun of Syd was the basis of the duo’s act from the very first momentCredit: Getty Images – Getty12 Ant and Dec were among the celebs that paid tribute to EddieThe comedian’s “the show must go on” attitude put his life at risk. During his performances in the Babes in the Wood panto in 2001 in Hull staff feared Eddie would die on stage and he fainted during a GP’s check up. He also struggled to keep fit, weighing 17st at his heaviest, and in 2013 he was hospitalised with a collapsed lung after falling over a road sign. Born in the deprived Gorbals area of Glasgow, Eddie moved to Manchester when he was aged ten. He grew up in the shadow of Manchester City’s old Maine Road ground and was one of their best known fans. Eddie had trials for his boyhood team, but his dreams of playing football were crushed when a bus ran over his ankle at the age of 17. After teaming up with Syd, the duo toured the working men’s clubs of Britain for seven years before they got their big break on Opportunity Knocks. Another seven years later they were rewarded with The Little and Large Show on BBC1 in 1978. 12 Comedy double act Eddie Large and Syd Little in their BBC variety show The Little and Large Show in 1988Credit: Getty Images – Getty12 Eddie’s daughter Samantha from his first marriage to Sandra Bigwood paid tribute on TwitterEddie admitted they were heavily inspired by their heroes Morecambe and Wise, with Syd even sporting national health glasses similar to Eric Morecambe’s. But fame came at a cost — the breakdown of Eddie’s first marriage. Often away from his home in Bury, Lancs, where wife Sandra Bigwood lived with daughters Samantha, now 53, and Alison, now 49, he was tempted by the opportunity to bed other women. The portly comedian had a string of “flings” before meeting singer and dancer Patsy Scott when they were performing together in pantomime in Liverpool in 1977. Eddie admitted at the time: “When I fell in love with Patsy I smashed Sandra’s life and hurt the kids.” He left the family home in 1979 and moved to a small village near Bristol, where he spent the rest of his days. Eddie and Patsy married in 1983 and they had a son Ryan, now 36. The BBC axed The Little And Large Show in 1991 when audiences dipped to eight million ­— yet the duo continued to be a draw in pantomime and live comedy shows. It was only Eddie’s heart op in 2003 that could bring their 40-year long partnership to a close. 12 Eddie, pictured in 2017, was eventually forced to quit touring due to health problemsCredit: Rex FeaturesRecalling the moment that his health issues led to him quitting, Eddie said: “That phone call to Syd was the most painful I’ve ever had to make. “I was crying my eyes out because I knew I was putting him out of work.” TIFF TIFF HOORAYEastEnders’ Maisie Smith shares snaps as she celebrates 12 years on soapExclusive’EXCRUTIATING’Page 3 legend Linda Lusardi says coronavirus pain left her wanting to dieSAM DESIGNSInside Sam Faiers’ new £2.25m Surrey home with 5 bedrooms and massive kitchenhome sweet homeInside Olly Murs’ Essex mansion with outdoor pool where he’s on lockdownshut downAnt McPartlin closing £20m TV biz as he settles divorce from ex Lisa ArmstrongBIG BIRDEmmerdale’s Isabel Hodgins’ hair drama after she was left looking like ‘Big Bird’ In 2010 Eddie told TV Times magazine that he’d stopped speaking to Syd, although they appeared together on a TV chat show in 2017. Last night his wife Patsy said: “Our hearts are broken. “We are all devastated. I just want everyone to remember him.” 12 Director Edgar Wright was among those that paid tribute to Eddie12 Comedian Jason Manford also paid tribute, remembering the times that he had met Eddie12 Eddie admitted they were heavily inspired by their heroes Morecambe and Wise, with Syd even sporting glasses similar to Eric Morecambe’sCredit: Rex Features12 In 2010 Eddie told TV Times magazine that he’d stopped speaking to Syd, although they appeared together on a TV chat show in 2017Credit: Rex Features12 A heart op in 2003 brought their 40-year long partnership to a close, but Eddie remained in the public eyeCredit: Rex FeaturesComedy legend Eddie Large has died from coronavirus aged 78 Source link

source https://www.kadobeclothing.store/how-eddie-large-went-from-performing-in-a-pub-to-drawing-15m-viewers-on-tv-the-sun/

[markwatkinsconsumerguide]

Consumer Guide / No.70 / Paul Phillips (Driver 67) with Mark Watkins.

MW : What's the story behind the song, ‘Car 67’ by Driver 67?

PP : After three years at CBS Records, and having no discernible success, I was fired for the first (and only) time in my life. By the autumn of 1975, I found myself unemployed and not really knowing what to do about it. So I decided to get myself a pretty decent car and do some mini-cabbing part-time.

Not only did the car I bought prove unreliable, I proved pretty unreliable myself, having no sense of direction, no real knowledge of London, and being absolute crap at reading the A To Z. So I ended up delivering parcels from my wood-panelled Mini Traveller, where time and an impatient passenger weren’t a problem.

So bad was I, that I never even got the radio installed in the car. I had to stop at phone boxes and call in to control for the next job.

MW : Did the song relate to a real taxi, route and driver?

PP : My call sign was Driver 67, but, like I say, I never even got the radio in the car, so I never actually heard myself being called over the air.

One day, I was sitting, waiting for the next job, when this refrain just floated into my head : ‘Hey control this is 67 here, I can hear you loud and I can hear you clear’. I heard the words, the tune, the guitar strum, the drum beat – it was all there in my head.

So, I gave up on that day’s work and drove home and got my guitar and my Revox reel-to-reel fired up and had it written and demoed by the next day. My music partner Pete Zorn, also my brother in law, came down the next night and listened to it.

“It needs something else,” he said, “like this”, and he played a chord sequence – G, E minor, C and D – and he kept playing it until I came up with the words, ‘To tell you the truth, I had a bad bad night, my girl left home in the middle of a fight’.

As I sang ‘the middle of a fight’, Pete changed the chord on the word ‘middle’ to an F, which just seemed to bridge perfectly back into the verse. So his contribution was small, but essential. It transformed the song. If I play the song live (which I’ve done fewer than 20 times, at a guess) that’s the bit the audience always sings along to. (They also sing along on the word ‘do’, in the line, “Is there something else you want me to do-o-o” – it makes me laugh; people like to yodel!)

MW : Tell me about promoting the record on the radio...

PP : I’m a bit of a control freak, and after my experiences at CBS, where the promotion department just ignored the acts I signed, I hired my own plugger for ‘Car 67’. The best in the business at that time was Oliver Smallman.

Usually, the fee for a guy like Ollie to promote your record was £500, which was probably a month’s take home for me. So I offered him the publishing on the B-side. If it became a Top 10 record (which it did), he’d earn nearer £10,000 (he did better than that).

You’d think with that kind of incentive at hand, he’d have been right on it. But he wasn’t. I couldn’t get him on the phone, could never find him at his office, and after a couple of weeks I was pretty cross. Then I found out he worked out at a gym every day. So I joined that gym. It was in Welbeck Street, called the Gym ’n’ Tonic (cute then; clichéd now). I went in, and sort of hid, till he finished his session. Then he got naked and went into the sauna. So I got naked and went into the sauna…

It’s really surprising how one naked man blocking the escape of another naked man concentrates the mind. The very next week, ‘Car 67’ was Kid Jensen’s Record Of The Week, and that started the rise up the charts.

Surprisingly, neither Beacon Radio nor BRMB would play it. Steve Blacknell was plugging to the local stations, and he was quite down-hearted. The one that did pick up on it was one of the smallest – maybe Radio Tees? So we went up there to thank them, and then we went on to Wolverhampton where the guy at Beacon Radio just seemed to want to humiliate me for what he thought was a pretty crap Midlands accent. BRMB in Birmingham felt the same.

But of course, once it got into the national charts, all the independents started to play it. I’ll never forget (or forgive) Mike Smith introducing it on Capital Radio’s Chart Show. It was the first play on Capital, and this was his introduction: “It’s amazing what rubbish people will buy these days”. He’s playing a hit record, on a showcase of the latest charts, and he’s literally telling his audience they’ve got no taste. I thought that was unprofessional in the extreme.

MW : ...and your appearances on Top Of The Pops (TOTP)...

PP : TOTP was horrible. Sorry to crush your illusions. But to the producers and directors of TOTP, the artists and the audience were cattle. All they cared about was what ended up on screen. Which is fair enough, but you can achieve that and still treat people with respect.

When we got there, I introduced myself to the producer, and the guy could not be bothered. “Oh yeah. So you’ll be on stage, playing the controller. We’ll give you a bit of kit and a microphone, and then when everyone else has gone we’ll bring in a car, and you can do the singing bits.”

Wait, what? You want me to mime to talking that has no rhythm or rhyme, on a stage, in front of a bunch of teenage girls. “Yeah”, and then he walked away.

I called the record company and told the managing director what had happened. “I don’t think I want to do it,” I told him. “Well, Paul, I’ll support you whatever you decide but let me just say this. Today, you’re selling 5,000 copies a day. The day after TOTP goes out you’ll be selling 20,000 copies a day.”

Well, what’s a boy to do? So I went back to the dressing room, asked for a cassette player, and listened over and over to the talking bits, writing them down, and learning to mime to them without looking like an idiot. But it was excruciating.

The saving grace for me was Hank Marvin, who made a point of coming up to talk to me and telling me how much he liked the record. “Reminds me, don’t ask me why, a little bit of McGuinness Flint”. Getting a compliment from Hank, who had been a star since I was 11, was really lovely.

But the other artists were either stand-offish, or couldn’t care less. The Doll were too cool for school; Sally Oldfield seemed scared witless; and honestly, I don’t remember who else was in the studio. I was too busy watching 30 or so young girls being herded from here to there to make it look like the studio was full.

Kid Jensen presented the show, but even he didn’t talk to anyone. I’d been his Record Of The Week - but I couldn’t get near to him to thank him.

As for miming, well, that was a joke. The night before the show, we had to make a show of being in the studio where we’d originally recorded ‘Car 67’, preparing a track for TOTP that I would then “sing” over at the BBC.

There was a guy from the union to make sure everything was hunky dory, and a guy from the BBC to oversee. In fact, we took my vocal off the track and played them the backing track. Ollie Smallman then distracted them while we put the vocal back on and sent it to tape, which they took away. It was a game. Everyone knew what was happening; they just pretended it wasn’t. I’d have happily sung live on the show but it wasn’t what they wanted. They just pretended it was.

MW : There’s a bit of a legend that ‘Car 67’ should have gone to Number One, but it never did...

PP : The irony of this story is that, as the record company told me, the day after TOTP aired, orders did go up to 20,000 a day. Over six days, that would have put me at Number One. Instead, it turned out the record company was third down the list at the pressing plant, and they failed to fulfil the orders. The record dropped four places in the chart.

I’d gone down to MIDEM in Cannes (an annual music industry bash) and each Tuesday they’d post the chart. I wandered down with Bruce Welch from The Shadows, who were doing well with ‘Don’t Cry For Me Argentina’. They’d gone up the chart, I’d gone down.

“Bloody hell, Bruce,” I said, “How many did you sell?” “Ten thousand.” “What? A day?” “No, across the week.”

The trick was, all their copies had sold through Woolworths, whose influence on the chart was massive. It took me years to get over the fact I’d been robbed of a Number One by the pressing plant’s priorities; but in the end, if people knew how to game the chart – by selling, for instance, exclusively through Woolworths – then maybe it was never going to happen, however many I sold.

MW : What did you follow-up with, and what happened next?

PP : The follow up was ‘Headlights’. ‘Headlights’ was the song that got Pete and me a deal in the first place. Everyone concerned was stone cold certain it was a Top 10 song. We had more than album’s worth of really good material, and this one certain hit.

When it was released, it jumped straight into the Top 75. But then Radio 1 refused to play it. They actually said so on air. I got a phone call from a friend who said she’d just heard it. “The dj said, if you think Driver 67 was a One-hit Wonder, think again. This is the follow up and it’s going to be a smash,” she told me. “And then after the record, he said, ‘Actually, you won’t be hearing that again, I’ve just been told’.”

No-one could ever explain it to me. One theory was that Radio 1 had decided I was a one-hit wonder and that was that. Another theory was that they didn’t like the story of ‘Headlights’. I wrote it to be like a mini horror film; a girl being chased down a country road by a truck driver. The production and sound of it were very dark, but it was incredibly catchy and hook-y. There you go. All over.

MW : Thoughts on the one-hit wonder tag...

PP : We coulda bin a contenda! We certainly didn’t set out to have one-hit and done. ‘Car 67’ was a chance thing that was written while we were negotiating a record deal. So it had nothing to do with us being signed.

Before the ink was dry on the contract, I played it to Geoff Hannington and Olav Wyper (who ran Logo Records) and they both went ape for it. “We’ll do it as a side project,” which sounded ok to me and Pete. So we booked the studio time, followed the demo, line for line, and made the record for £850, including the B-side. It sold 400,000 copies really fast. But it was also the end of us being taken seriously.

MW : Any regrets during the non-pop years?

PP : Ah!, well, nothing’s quite as simple as it looks. While we were making the album, time came for the first accounting period for sales of the single. The date came and went; no money. Cutting a long story short, I fought for two years to get our money, and in the end I walked away – from the money and the industry. I learned a valuable lesson: sometimes you have to walk away, and it’s important to know when that time has come.

I went back to journalism, lucked into the first UK magazine that covered video (as well as music and books). Within two years I had my own business, publishing magazines about video and video players. I found that all the creativity I had funnelled into music could also be applied to business. And that control freak side of me – the bit that had me hiring my own radio promotions man – did me very well in business.

And also, there were some failures along the way, but I’d had a good grounding in my own ability to survive. All in all, my life just became more exciting, more rewarding, and more fun. I’ve had more fun and excitement than should be legal.

MW : ...moving on to 2012 and ‘Now That's What I Call Divorce!’ …

PP : I hadn’t written a song for 25 years. I’d tried, but it just wouldn’t come. Then in 2008, I was getting divorced but we couldn’t sell the house (remember The Crash!) , and neither of us could afford to get somewhere on our own.

So we split the house up into two distinct areas, and for some reason I just thought I’d drag out my piano, and the guitar, fire up the computer with some recording software and see what happened.

The songs poured out of me. I found a new way to write (if I told you, I’d have to kill you), and being in full control of the process – no musicians, no engineer, no record company – I could take all the time I wanted, and play, within my own limited technical abilities, exactly what I wanted to hear.

By 2010, the divorce had gone through, we’d sold the house, and I’d moved down to Hove (a story we’ll come back to), where I finished the album and self-released it. This year, I recognised that the title, given the content of the songs, was upsetting my children. So I restructured the running order, did completely new artwork, and re-released it as ‘Not There Yet’, which is a reference to my unsatisfied mind, and my constant search for…something. It’s not a recipe for happiness (which I choose not to believe in) but it is bloody interesting, and brings what I call “moments of joy” that transcend anything that I can perceive of as “happy”.

MW : Wolverhampton Wanderers chances in the Premier?

PP : I don’t know! My friend, John Owen Williams – who’s had an extraordinary career as a producer, and is still producing top 10 albums – is also from Wolverhampton. He reckons if Wolves end up in the middle-of-the-table that will count as a brilliant season.

When I was growing up (in the 1950s) Wolves were one of the giant teams, and yet sometimes the players would be on the same bus as us supporters, going to the ground. Success for them was having enough money to open a shop in the middle of town.

I don’t like football today. I can’t stand the professional fouling, the mouthing off at referees, the managers trying to intimidate officials. No question these players today are phenomenally gifted and athletic, but they’re like spoilt children.

Still, I will be watching Wolves’ progress. The write-ups so far this season have been very positive about them.

MW : Did you vote Leave or Remain (Brexit) - reasoning?

PP: I voted Leave, and I need to explain that.

I voted Yes in 1975 to remaining in the Common Market. It all seemed terribly exciting to us young people. And I never had cause to regret that vote; never even gave it a second thought; until the launch of the euro.

One year, I’m on holiday in Portugal and a pot of jam (just an example) is 30p. A couple of years later, I’m back there, and the same pot of jam is £2. Now, as a holidaymaker you can say to yourself, “‘ah well, that’s the end of cheap holidays in Portugal”, but that ignores the fact that that pot of jam has increased in price sixfold, not just for you, the tourist, but for the population of the country. It was bound to cause poverty and unemployment.

Unemployment across the EU among 18-24 year olds is 25%, and in some countries it’s as high as 45%. I can’t tolerate that!

Plus, free movement of labour, and high levels of unemployment, have meant the young have to leave their home countries. Bulgaria is the first country in the EU where you can see its population falling off a cliff. If the young leave, and the old die, who’s left?

Is that the point of a Union? To denude poorer countries of their populations?

I have a real problem with the undemocratic nature of the Brussels bureaucracy. I didn’t vote for a common currency in 1975; it wasn’t on the table, and I didn’t vote for there to be a European Parliament; that wasn’t on the table either. And I certainly didn’t vote for bureaucrats like Tusk, Barnier, and Juncker to be put in positions where they would be pushing around elected Prime Ministers and tweeting insults about them.

Having said that, the fact that we had a referendum that could be decided on a simple majority was a massive mistake. It’s ended up being the most divisive issue of my lifetime. It should have required at least 60% for Leave in order to trigger Article 50.

MW : Current listening & reading & watching pleasures…

PP : I read a book a week, more or less; have done for at least 20 years. Mostly I love crime and thrillers. My favourite authors are John Sandford (I know, you haven’t heard of him), CJ Box (ditto), Robert Crais and John Connolly. Oh, and the Jack Reacher books.

Being an insomniac, the launch of Netflix and Amazon Prime have been brilliant for me. I don’t have to have an eighty quid subscription to Sky, or BT, to get the choice I want. ‘Godless’ on Netflix is the tv series Quentin Tarantino wishes he’d made. I love ‘The Crown’ (although Matt Smith as Prince Philip was a big mistake), and I love anything about drug cartels – ‘Narcos’; ‘El Chapo’; ‘Queen Of The South’. For too long, people in the West have ignored the origins of their drug of choice. Programmes like this should make everyone think twice, three times, 20 times, before indulging.

MW : What's next ?

PP : This year, I released a new album, ‘Breathe’. It’s the best work (musically) I’ve ever done. The fact that no-one is listening doesn’t really bother me. It’s my work, and I put it out there so my great grandchildren and their children know I wasn’t just some old bloke in a photograph that no-one knows anything about.

Next year, I have an album of covers I’ve been working on for some time. My rule of thumb is to record the songs in a way that surprises people, gives them an insight into the song perhaps they haven’t had before.

But the most exciting thing I’m doing is mentoring young artists. I’ve spent ten years failing to get anything up and running businesswise (the digital era changed all the rules of engagement for musicians; journalists; graphic designers).

It’s something I fell into by accident. After I moved to Hove, to be near someone I’d known for about 30 years, we ended up in a relationship, and her young daughter – as it happened – wanted to be ‘a pop singer; “it’s all I’ve ever wanted”. Yes, of course it is. Because at the age of 13, “‘ever” is a long, long time.

Anyway, I called her bluff. Told her I could make that happen, if a) she had any talent; and b) if she was prepared to work really hard.

I bought her a guitar, taught her some chords, and then told her she had to write her own songs. I gave her some tips, advised her never to write a love song (because she’d never been in love; she’s 13; duh!).

We spent five years, her perfecting her art and her facility; me finding out I had transferable skills. Plus I knew to keep her away from sharks and chancers. When the opportunities came, we got the best people, and the best deals.

And she turned out to be Grace Carter. If you haven’t already heard of her, you will. Go to YouTube now. Check her out:-

https://youtu.be/dtWzfRc6uUs

So now I have four other youngsters I’m mentoring, and this is my new career. It will take a while to get off the ground, but I’m only 70 (on January 1, 2019), and I intend to live to 130. So I’m only just past the halfway stage.

It’s great fun, exciting, and working with young people is, in itself, a renewable energy source.

Like I said, my life shouldn’t be legal. There’s been some tough stuff, particularly in childhood, but also in business and in my later personal life. But I’m resilient. Everything is a lesson, and I’m a learner, not a victim – even when a record company withholds tens of thousands of pounds in royalties, or a business partner absconds with all the money (yes, that happened).

Where I came from, Irish, Catholic, working class, poor, the most common thing I heard was: “People like us don’t do things like that”. Well, I’ve done them all, and there’s more to come. I acknowledge no limits, even at my age.

By the way, you can find all the back catalogue of Driver 67 and Tax Loss online as ‘Driver 67: The Album; The A Sides; The B Sides’, along with ‘Breathe’ and ‘Not There Yet’, they’re all available on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Apple Music, and everywhere else you might expect.

© Mark Watkins / October 2018