#I love ranting in the hashtags too much lmao

[ruskatuskapuskasapuska]

A lil mysta(-shitpost)-dump cuz wääääähhh (you can't just get me into vtube-hell and just leave me like that, what the fuck dude?? /j)

Also here's mystakes with mouths that I quickly drew on phone and sketch/lineart of that colored one:

[inkbirdie]

the gayly prophet is one of my all-time favorite podcasts! it’s absolutely hilarious and the commentary is always on point. an excellent for queer hp fans to consume fandom content ethically in a way that supports trans, queer, and BIPOC creators. i love listening to new episodes (and eps of the queer movie podcast, another fave) on my walks. i often find myself laughing out loud with Lark and Jessie and hoping no one around notices lol

one of my personal favorite aspects of the podcast is how Lark points out the egregious amount of semicolons, ellipses, and general lack of good punctuation and grammar that scoundrel jkr exhibits in her writing. as a writer and someone who hates terfs, it’s very funny and therapeutic.

i highly recommend the gayly prophet to anyone who likes harry potter, a good time, queer people, NOT terfs, or is just into the delicious asmr-like paper turning sound effect when they move between topics. they also have another podcast about buffy the vampire slayer, and although i haven’t listened as i have never watched the show, i’m sure it’s also wonderful!

so yeah that’s my gayly prophet rant, now everyone go listen!! hashtag ruthless for life 😎

the gayly prophet

I can’t believe I don’t see more people talking about @thegaylyprophetpodcast. it’s such a fantastic gem. it’s like listening to your friends talk about gay harry potter shit while you’re comfy on the couch next to them.

you don’t have to start at the beginning. they go through the books chapter by chapter and talk shit about jkr and do tarot readings and scream. they’ve done at least one episode per chapter for PS/SS through POA. pick one and go.

it’s a podcast so I know my adhd babes out there are gonna struggle but it’s my favorite thing to listen to while I’m doing an easy task. folding laundry, cleaning, driving, etc.

just trust me and give it a try. so fucking precious. if you need a starting point, try “Proving Love is Real with Chuck Tingle.” bring tissues.

also they have adorable merch like this:

[ID: two stickers on a gold glittery surface. left sticker is a black outline of a star and the words SUPPORT TRANS WITCHES on top of the star. the words are pink, white, and blue. second sticker is a comic book-style spiky speech bubble outlined in black. over it are the words HEX TRANSPHOBES in red.]

[luci4theminorannoyance]

hi pookie wookie mcshmookie bear 😈

can i request price with reader who was taken hostage by shepard and shadow co. and the 141 got sent a video of shepard just trying to be big and tough but at the end- shepard threatens the 141 and shoots reader lmao

-your resident soccer fan ⚽️

a/n: I- wha- I cried my eyeliner off while brainstorming for this one, btw this is like a Drabble and I took some Inspiration off of other fics like this one so- kudos to whoever wrote the things I took ideas from (comment so I can tag you if you have).

Price:

He had stayed up late at nights trying to figure out where they were keeping you, although told the team it wasn’t anything serious. He knew telling them he couldn’t find you would ruin them way worse then already.

One of said nights, price got sent a video from a number containing purely hashtags- he immediately called in the team and played the video.

it mostly contained Shepard, ranting and boasting in his usual fashion, bluffing about all he would do to torture and kill off 141.

he thought it was simply shepherd bluffing, he thought you were at least going to be safe and he could be able to find you and bring you back home-..

he was wrong.

as the video replayed of you getting shot after being dragged into frame as if you were cattle or something as worthless as a piece of dust; all of team four one held in sobs or collapse, agony and anger radiating off price like smoke.

the flash of the gun against your head, the look of fear in your eyes- it was too much for him to bare for long.

he stayed up every night. Living off caffeine, whiskey, and the desire for any form of Justice he could get. It was his fault he couldn’t find you in time, right?

he finally got his revenge a few months later, killing Shepard the same way Shepard had killed you; a bullet straight to the head.

prices body couldn’t really take any more after that-..

he did what he wanted to do, he killed the person who shot the love of his life. His body collapsing on the spot like a rag doll, finally at peace.

He finally got your Justice, at the cost of his own future.

[rv2xlga]

sigh.

i realize i dont rant here enough like as much as i should. i should be drawing and not spending time being a fucking idiot ranting on TUMBLR at 2 am but shuake is just too serious for me

CUZ yall don’t understand my level of. crazy. my level of insane my level of obsession its been like 7 months of just straight up fixation and i always find the same things to feel the new feeling of love again for them. saw someone talking about their short film like a little summary on what its abt and the inspiration, a little love letter to their lover of sorts saying how the film is abt genuinely loving someone who is good to you for the first time, “This was the first time I would say "I love you" to someone, and it not come from a place of fear or a toxic one. This film is a celebration of vulnerability, and letting pure, secure love in without the constant impulse to self sabotage” I’ll quote and bc i cant think of love without immediately thinking of shuake (its a genuine problem lmao😭), i HAD to just think about them and yk what. idegaf their love is so beautiful to me. i think the idea of akechi having bpd and the same mental issues and disorders as me finding love in someone who is also very similar to him in some sense, like them both being autistic and such, just really speaks a lot to me.

im definitely not an opposites attract person, although they technically WOULD be opposites i think the whole troupe of “enemies” to lovers is the fact that they arent really enemies and actually have a lot more in common than first thought, at least when done well anyway so to me, they aren’t opposites when it comes to like. the things that matter like personality and the things that make people connect and become closer like the things u cant control ig lol but anywho, bc i hc (its basically canon) akechi having bpd i think thats why it means SO MUCH more to me and i love his character sm. he’s not my favorite, but bc that’s the first time i see a character like that be represented with something so similar to me and not be treated like a villain or just be really extreme like akechi is definitely. well. extreme but he’s not like, let’s say, like yuri level from ddlc like i wouldnt even consider that bpd she just straight up crazy😭 like idk, i just really relate to akechi so i really see him having bpd and bc ive always felt soo left out bc of my bpd even in spaces you would THINK would be safer, i always feel singled out somehow and although i still dont really know why, ig i see myself in akechi a lot and even akira too so the idea that parts of me could find that love and care like the fact that parts of me could find other parts of me, ig im not broken lmao like its all a little puzzle :)

okkk lore drop🔥🔥 got so hashtag emo there BUT that meant something i promise!!! that whole idea of feeling like ur missing something or theres just something wrong with u or ur unloveable or whatever, the idea that akechi felt that and FOUND it in akira makes my heart melt like a fucking fangirl i hate everything. i always think abt shuake and their love bc people always say how they are so toxic blah blah blah, and yk what, lemme not lie, that’s probably the truth! but i cant see them being soo toxic like that especially with how young they are like akechi was like. a few months of just turning 18, akira was 17 like they arent full grown adults even tho akechi was definitely aware enough to know what he was doing was wrong (even at 15 or however old he was when first helping shido i would say), you wouldnt understand the FULL severity of it like its a lot to explain but HOPEFULLY i make sense lol😭😭 and i think just being so young and growing through so much like im already. off. and i dont even live a life CLOSE to that EVER like of course he’s gonna be a little. off his rockets🤩 i mean what did yall expect😭 i keep using this phrase but yea!! so the idea of him meeting akira and finally being able to feel that youth and enjoy parts of life that typically teenagers get to live is si sweet to me.

mind u, im not saying that him living that “teenage life” is the way it HAS to be lived bc i think my life is better without those things as a teen myself and its most definitely not necessary but to me, akechi is just like. a very much stan twitter gay guy😭 he has his little bit of nerd (WHICH I LOVE^_^) but like anyone, of course he would want and need that friendship, that connection. do i believe he wouldn’t really care abt friends and shit? yea bc look, i dont really care for that myself but i wont lie to you and tell u i would love just ONE good connection in my life like yk, a friend i actually want but im not gonna be all friendless here so back to akechi!😊 he’s just very normal high schooler to me, ONE THING I LOVE ABT HIM AND SUMI ACTUALLY. i feel like with sumi, because ae doesn’t know like anything abt akechi’s past and what’s he’s done and stuff i feel like akechi just gets to live a “regular high schooler life” with sumi, yk? like everytime akechi and sumi would hang out (i like to believe they would hang out pre royal idgaf🥱) and akechi would complain or talk akira, sumi would just think “ah he’s on his crush thing again” like ae has NO CLUE he’s gonna shoot him in the head and yk what. that connection definitely means something bc that would be the first person akechi has ever met his age who ISNT involved in his “work life”?? like isn’t involved in his cases and shit like. a genuine healthy friendship🤯🤯🤯 and thats ANOTHWR reason i love sumigoro (make fun of me all u want but i seriously do not. gaf😜😝) bc i think akechi would really go and mess that up, he’d be like “wait. do i actually like sumi” all bc of the fact that they have a good connection and akechi isnt used to that

WHICH brings me to what i was GOING TO bring up (sorry for the crazy detour) but YEA, the whole idea of having a love and always feeling the need to self sabotage reminds me smm of shuake. akechi going and ruining their connection even though there was definitely ways he could’ve gone abt killing shido…. with the phantom thieves’ health possibly👀👀???? i feel like that was the prime explain of self sabotage, guilt and the fact that he wasnt even actually processing what he did and HAS done. like that one scene after 11/20 where he’s in the studio filming and their asking him abt the pts and he gets slient and thinks abt some shit like abt the pts and sorta feels guilty (idk if thats the undesirable child scene i think it is but im not sure lol) but yeah that, that is the PRIME explain of processing and guilt. after killing people and doing all that shit for so long i think that was the first time it actually hit him like “oh shit wait. i’ll never see these people again” like the idea that it hit so close to home, these were kids HIS age, even younger too and.. what EYE like to believe, people he thought probably deserved more life than even himself (like the after thought of it) bc u cannot convince me he really sent his ass over to shido’s palace just to tell joker some shit like girl. and getting himself killed too like naww that’s embarrassing as shit😭😭 like ik thats talked abt and thats what the whole scene is abt but like. EXACTLY he felt guilt for his actions and felt he needed to atone!! HE HADNT REALLT PROCESSED ANYTHING IF HE WAS FEELING THAT NOWW ofc he was going to get innocent people killed like. YEA😭😭 but he’s a fucking kid like what did u expect him to do, even if i had that power even with the current knowledge i have☝️🤓 i wouldnt even realize wtf im doing like yk ur doing something bad, but as a smart kid too.. its all abt competition lol, but in all seriousness tho and they show that in the game

ok sorry got off track again but yea, self sabotaging his love with akira all for the competition of it all, clearly i will never just flow into it naturally so ill state it plainly, self sabotaging his love and overall genuine connection with akira bc thats all he was ever thought to do, from his own mother and obviously, his own father. had to sabotage the love he had for his mother bc well. she ended up kwording herself😭😭 and had to sabotage the love for his father (which didnt exist to me idc) bc he had to kill him, i mean. he was awful😭😭 so having that constant battle between that, thats one thing i LOVE like ADORE ABOUT SHUAKE i love the idea that they could be vulnerable with each other i also love akira and his personality cuz he compliments akechi so well in SO MANY WAYS whoever wrote and made their characters and storylines personally ate with their yaoi deliverance😍😍 LMAO that was a joke but honestly. gave us such a good ship TY🙏 atlus at least for SOMETHING ur good at like like the thing i quoted said, THE WAY THAT IF ATLUS WOULDVE GAVE US AN I LOVE YOU BETWEEN THEM. aside from the fact i would’ve killed myself and died and then fell off a cliff and then kill myself again and killed myself a 3rd time just to make sure i also would’ve cried SO BAD, ik thats asking for WAYY TOO MUCHH but let a girl dream smh like IT WOULDVE MESNT SO MUCH AND HAD SM WEIGHT, it truly would’ve been akechi’s first ily that would’ve came from a genuine good place or would’ve been the first ily he ever heard that didnt try to manipulate or gain smth out of him!! which is. BEAUTIFUL ALL WAYS U LOOK AT IT like they definitely had their ups and downs (shuake i mesn) but the fact akira still wouldve loved him and seen him through everything is just so. something abt the unstable and the unstable but a little more stable dynamic😍😍 but seriously tho lol, i love their connection. again, it just speaks a lot to me SO PERSONALLY i hate everything

one thing i love abt royal is how we got to see akechi’s character a bit, i do like the royal writing a lot for this reason, some parts felt like aww yk lol and kinda reminiscent to the beginning of the game which felt a lot more genuine even tho royal’s writing felt more fanservicey, it had SOME sense of like, ok the characters arent written toooo bad here like the middle of persona so i appreciated it and u can tell atlus put a lot more work on the royal trio scenes (the fanservice was crazy in that part😭) so i also loved that too lol bc again, we got to see akechi’s character and the effect joker had on him and how like. less of an asshole he was like i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of him. again again i just LOVE dynamics like shuake and seeing characters grow and shit and shuake just does it so well UGH i hate them😭😭

[treesap-blogs]

Review for “Ophelia After All” by Racquel Marie!

Hello, Tumblrians! I’ll try to publish at least 4 reviews this week. If I go on another unpredicted hiatus, at least I can have all this writing to make up for my sudden absence? 

Real talk though, I’m sorry about the inconsistent schedule. I get pretty self-conscious about this Tumblr account (there’s a reason I don’t use hashtags anymore), and also I’ve been kinda exhausted in the last week. I already told you guys about South Carolina. (There was originally gonna be a 540-word rant after this but I cut it. That was definitely for the best!)

I really gotta set realistic standards for myself. I keep thinking I’ll be prepared to upload reviews for this account but then I get hit with anxiety paralysis and just never upload anything. It feels like a chore sometimes, even when I made this for fun. I know not many people follow this, because I stay out of hashtags and the people who actually choose to follow me ‘cause they saw my reviews somewhere and liked them leave because I’m inconsistent. I’m sorry for repeatedly disappointing you all.

Okay! Time to actually start my book review! 

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie follows 17 year-old Ophelia: daughter of an Irish English professor and a Cuban immigrant, she’s spent her whole life being a passionate rose gardener, gossip lover, and hopeless romantic with a crush on nearly every boy she meets. But a few weeks before prom, when she undeniably falls for a female classmate named Talia, she begins to question the identity she’s developed over time—and how much of it was because she wanted to appease the people around her. 

I really loved this book! Ophelia was a realistic teenage protagonist, and especially liked the dynamic she had with her friend group (which was one of many relationships paramount to the story). They teased and supported each other, called people out on their shit, fought and later made up, like a lot of friend groups do. While I get that not everyone likes to read about teenage drama, it was resolved by the end, and it didn’t take the melodramatic approach. There was also an interesting examination of Ophelia getting used to being around guys and not necessarily liking them romantically! Maybe it’s because I’m gay but I appreciated that too.

Anyhow! Other things I liked: Talia and Ophelia’s friendship! Ugh the embarrassment in the middle though😬 (WHY OPHELIA). I did like that even after everything they maintained that platonic relationship, though. I was expecting for it to be a romance because a lot of the YAs of this variety I read typically are, this is the first one I’ve read where the MC didn’t get the girl and learned to deal with that! (Also, Talia was sweet.) The multifaceted discussion of Ophelia’s identity was cool too, mixing together discussions on heteronormativity, culture, and dealing with the future in a coming-of-age story. I also just really love queer contemporary stories! It’s something about the light, sometimes snarky but overall honest writing style of basically every single one I read that leaves me whizzing through several hundreds of pages in under a day.

And of course, you can’t go wrong with the additional rose anecdotes sprinkled throughout the story.

(Sidenote, though: I was reading this the same week I was reading and listening to Bianca Torre Is Afraid Of Everything, so there was this weird coincidence between the two where both MCs had Shakespeare-obsessed moms who named their children after lady characters from his plays, assumed they were cishet, and initially weren’t trusted in their coming out journeys lmao?!) 

Uhmmm I don’t know what else to add on, except for that I just really liked that although everything was resolved there were still consequences and (eventual) self-awareness, and this and Felix Ever After are probably my favorites of the “messy coming-of-age” queer contemporary subgenre! (Which isn’t actually a real subgenre, but it should be considered one, right?!) My positive reviews are always very short, lol. Just look at my When The Angels Left The Old Country one, I remember I was going in circles? So I’ll cap it off here!

Book rating: (predictably) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 Finished 06/07/23.

(Book content warnings: Homophobia, lesbophobia, racism, outing, mentions of aro/acephobia and islamophobia.)

-Paz, signing off! ^^

[thebigbidea]

Media I've obsessed over throughout the years!!

2010-2019: My Little Pony: FIM

Was definitely my favorite show. I still love that show sm. Definitely has the most active fan base of them all. Making art for this show definitely inspired me to be the artist i am now. -- This show rased me, and raised me good. The older fandom is questionable, there's definitely some generational trama given to us Gen Z by them, but it was a very pro-lgbt space, and i loved this so sm.

Favorite character then: Fluttershy / Now: Trixie

2017-2021: DuckTales!! (Woo-hoo)

Always kinned Louie, and always will. I mean hell, i named my first MLP OC after Lena!! -- I really loved the episodes Quack Pack and GlomTales! (the latter if wich being because is was A. it Louie centered episode, and B. he proved to his mother that his scamming isn't all bad which i was proud of him for). I think i loved him sm just bc, well one, my favorite color has always been green, but two he's so relatable. Like the episode where he wasn't so sure and up to the idea of Della suddenly coming back and being his mom when he'd never even spoke to her once was just so good. Now i can look back and see how it was relatable, but even then when i didn't know what ik now i found him to be the most logical person in that situation.

Favorite character then: Louie (maybe i liked Lena a lot too?) Now: Louie

2019-2023: The Owl House

When MLP ended, this was the show that came in and swooped me up. As of writing, the shows only been officially over for about an hour. And while yes, DuckTales was there when MLP ended, it still definitely made me feel like something was missing. It did take about a season for me to realize TOH was filling that feeling but it got there. This show has probably effected me about as much as MLP. Like through the episode “Lost in Language”, apon watching some reviews and theories on the episode, i found out Luz was bisexual. At the time i hadn't really heard the term b4, but only about a day of finding it out, i was already comfortable going by it! It just fit too well!! I also got my preferred name/s from Emira and Edric!! Sigh, i could write sm about TOH since it literally just ended, but i don't want to be here all day.

Favorite character then: Hunter, Now: The Collector. // Kinnie: Edric and Emira all the way, baby.

2023-???: Welcome Home! @:3

And now we're here. I already know this will be the thing i obsess over for the next 3-4 years, i can smell it. If things wrap up before 2026, i know the fandom will still be alive. Like idk maybe I'll laugh at my naivete in like two years rereading this post but come on!! Everything lines up way too well!! When MLP ended, TOH was there. Not TOH is ending and, oh, what's that?? WH!? I don't think its too unrealistic to think this story can take 3 test to make.. look say DHMIS, The Mandela Catalogue, and the Walten Files!!

...And well i mean if not, South Park has been going to 25 years and strong!! So I'll probably love that.

Favorite character: Julie!!!! (And Frank) // Don't make me pick favs from SP bro they're all so great. :')

Bonuses!!!

2021(-2023?): Loki

Bc of this show, i discovered i was gender fluid :]] I also found a wonderful community from it, and i love all of those people i met!!.. except for J***. You know who you are. Lmao, jokes. But yea, I'm no marvel fan or anything, but i love Greek/Norse mythology.. so it's no surprise i love Thor and Loki as much as i do!

Fav: Owen Wilson.

2021-2022: Inside Job (+ the 2000 other animated shows Netflix cancelled after one or two seasons..)

Yes there are shows that ended justly, like Kid Cosmic and CentaurWorld. They only planned on having two seasons so they ended great and with a banger. But like,, Dead End, and Glitch Techs, and give BNA another season, goddamn it!!

Fav: Brett 1000%

2020(-2023?) And 2021-2022: Animatics and The Cuphead Show respectively

I decided to add these two after ranting in the hashtags bc i just had to. :] Not much to say, i rlly love these shows. Made some art in my sketchbook and sh/t.

Fav: Wakko // Muggsie.

There's so many more shows (on tv, steaming, or online!) I'd live to acknowledge but I'm bored as hell do I'm calling it. Buhbies!!

[transsexualhamlet]

After i watched the movies recently bc we have them at home ( i never watched them before lmfao), i started reading and i'm 150 pages into the first lotr book and am finished with the hobbit. planning on reading the silmarillion afterwards. not much yet, i know, but still wanted to check out if u got any thoughts on the stuff i know already. Id also gladly read ur hyperfixation essay on sauron if it isnt too spoiler-y

ohhhh yeah very valid! (is so normal about someone getting into my hyperfixations) I must warn you the silmarillion is written an ENTIRELY different style than lotr and the hobbit. It's more like if you were to read a book of like, norse mythology. Like the content is interesting, but it reads like it's been passed down through the ages orally and thus includes almost none of the fucking details while LARPing as a hashtag true lost history book. Tolkien did this entirely on purpose because he's Insane and I think it's very well done and enjoyable nonetheless but it's like. Reading it is like taking a history class on a country you've never fucking heard of before and doesn't exist anymore lmao. not just doesnt exist anymore politically like its fucking. under the sea forever. damn global warming (it was very much not global warming and tolkien is batshit crazy)

I literally cannot recall if I've ever written anything about the main works other than the fanfiction (which. I definitely. I definitely have that and you'll definitely catch my opinions on that you could so read it pleading emoji pleading emoji) other than a rant i never posted which was basically just me saying frodo is just like joan of arc. you know the gist. i love calling lotr men women because it would make tolkien lose his shit

as for the sauron essay its like????? i can't really say it has any spoilers for lord of the rings he's not really like. he's not really a person by that point of time hes just yknow. a fucked up angry eye but if you were concerned about spoilers for the silmarillion and its related works you're definitely shit outta luck there.

[vonlipvig]

Hello jules, it's me anonymous suzerain chatter and now returning as a fan of Not for broadcast. I just watched their latest DLC the time loop two or three days ago and i was shocked i didn't watch this last month when it was still relevant. Like i was super late but hey i found a new favorite like Adrien Blimey, he is so cool like even Peter is being replaced by a douche bag of a politician along with Julia on a coalition government like the way he chews on the politicians in a short amount of time so good and how he also tears apart about doctor magnus and his machine on using to general population and other dark stuffs he doesn't hold back. And my god it was such a curse to see the Nowverse of Not For broadcast like Jeremy Donaldson in the modern era along with Megan wolfe saying hashtag and subscribe. My stomach can't handle the pain i got when i saw them. And the crew member. I think he is a fantastic addition to the Timeloop casts. And it was so cursed that an alternate version of Megan wolfe kissed the crew member and Jeremy Donaldson on the lips. Like oh my god... this is wrong, What's this? Nope you two are best friends. Besties. Jeremy is with Jenny while Megan wolfe is for... I honestly dunno. But the almost ending where Boseman called every single guest to help Doctor magnus and the other professor woman to matchmake and confess their feelings to each other. And Alan James fucking brilliant addition to the chaotic guests. Also can i say how much i freaking hate Jeff Algebra?! Like brother ugh... what's that this man ranting about? Just stop. Take the temporary restraining order and never show your face and personality ever again. But anyway it was a fun DLC and I'm loving it.

Hi anon! How have you been?

Oh my god YES, the Timeloop DLC was so good, it was truly everything I could have asked for as a fan. Not gonna lie, I think seeing THE Adrien Atkinson-Blimey was like, the most surprising thing to me, I was NOT expecting that! He was always that background character you'd hear about during the intro speeches, getting into increasingly wild situations, but I never thought we'd actually see him, and in Incisors, of all things! Goes to show that there are other serious people working for Channel 1, lmao.

YES, wasn't the Nowverse so fun? I'm too bisexual so I gotta say it, but the trio absolutely SLAYED, they looked so hot there lmao. But yeah, poor guys having to do the whole 'like and subscribe' spiel, especially Jeremy, he's not meant to know what technology like that is like!

Oh, Colin is an icon, but we knew that already #colinsprongfan. I loved that he had his time to shine during this DLC, he really deserved it (and of course, it's totally hilarious that he's immune to the multiverse, cause of course lmao). But GOD YES MEGAN KISSING THE GUYS WAS SO CURSEDDDDD SHE'S A LESBIANNNNNN SHE'S FOR THE GIRLSSSSS (and oh, a JeremyJenny shipper? I see you're a person of culture, anon).

And yessss, the ending was so fun and sweet to me. I lovedddd the whole matchmaking shenanigans, Alan was absolutely amazing there with the kiss assist lmao. And oh god GEOFF YOU ALMOST RUINED EVERYTHINGGGGG LET'S KILL HIMMMMMM (but ok, he was funny, he gets to live for now...).

But yeah, it was sososo good. Everyone go play Not For Broadcast and the Timeloop DLC NOW.

[aspiring-artist-em]

Hi lovelies, if you're on tiktok, PLEASE REMEMBER SOME FUCKING INTERNET DECORUM.

Call me a bitch, but I'm about to bash some people rn. This shit is making me mad.

For privacy reasons, I'm not showing u usernames. Don't go bullying these people. I'm using them as an EXAMPLE.

But before we get onto that, please read this.

NOW GO BACK, AND READ IT AGAIN UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THIS GUY'S WISHES

Onto my angry woman rant now

COMMENTS LIKE THIS ARE NOT OKAY

Like do you see the problem?

No?

Let me point it out to you.

The first two have the same problem

"This is my second coming of Christ, I missed Zar so much"

"OMG?!? WE ARE SAVED"

Really? Your second coming of Christ? You're saved? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Dawg, the reason they left is because people like you were being fucking selfish omg. Get it through ur thick skull. Like genuinely shut the fuck up and touch some grass. Authors are PEOPLE. WE'RE NOT CONTENT FARMS, NOR ARE WE FUCKING ARCHANGEL GABRIEL STANDING IN YOUR BEDROOM WITH A BAGILLION EYES AND PROCLAIMING UR BABY IS JESUS. We're literally just people and the whole, "omg im saved" thing is really unhealthy and like, fucking problematic. It's also like, fucking creepy in a parasocial black mirror kinda way. Like imagine bullying and idolizing someone into leaving a fandom, and then bullying them and idolizing them into coming back, TO TURN AROUND AND DO IT SOME MORE OMG. Like be so fucking fr rn. Can't you see the problem in this!?? It's fucking creepy ass shit dawg. Idk who authorized you to go and run amuck on tiktok but pls for the love of god, go the fuck outside and talk to people so you know how to fucking talk to people you admire without comparing them to FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. And maybe, just maybe, STOP BRINGING UR EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION "omg ur back I'm so glad I was so sad u made me so sad bc u left me and I took it personally even though shit like this is why u left and imma keep continuing to do it again but I'm so glad ur back 🥺" BS INTO THIS. Maybe just stop and FUCKING THINK AND REMEMBER THAT YOURE TALKING TO A PERSON WHO IS LIVING AND BREATHING.

Onto the third comment, it's short, simple, to the point and absolutely THE WRONG THING TO SAY IN THIS SITUATION.

"FINALLY!!!!!"

All I have to say, is authors don't owe you shit and ur acting entitled. Check yourself babes, this isn't the take you think it is. Maybe you should "FINALLY!!!" check your attitude towards writers bc shit like this is why zar left in the first place and why the comments are turned off on his works.

SOMETHING ELSE I SAW: people using his deadname as a hashtag

Quite literally, why am I sitting here and having to explain why that's bad. Like that's fucked dude. I don't even wanna talk about it and I can't because I don't have experience having a preferred name, but like, that's so fucked up dude. Like come on. Maybe just don't. And no, I'm NOT posting a screenshot because that's his fucking DEAD NAME OMG HAVE YOU NO SHAME.

An example of an okay comment is something like this

Isn't this beautiful? And good behavior, I applaud them. Yes, it wasn't phrased the best, but they A) respected Zar's wishes and didn't SEEK OUT THE FIC, and B)they expressed their happiness that CR is back without like, idk, calling zar FUCKING JESUS CHRIST????? Kudos to them for doing the bare minimum and being respectful 💜

Self explanatory, honestly me too. Kudos to you both ����

And finally, something that made me a let out a little laugh when i read it

A joke so bad that it's good LMAO

Okay, I shall now get off my high horse and take off my shining armor, but I just wanted to say this real quick and reinforce my statement that AUTHORS ARE PEOPLE, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Edit: the "war is over" sound, really? Really?? Fucking war? Babes, you didn't get to read a Jegulus Hunger Games au; u didn't actually fight in the hunger games or in the fictional hunger games war. Like just stop pls.

Crimson Rivers, is it back? What now? Does that mean Zar is back?

So, like a normal, sane reader, when I get an AO3 notification, I immediately drop everything and check it out. In my little tiny brain filled with angst and smut, I was thinking that it was maybe a chapter being updated, or maybe someone I love replying to a comment I left about how their writing is so fantastic and giving them vivid descriptions of how I wish to burn it into my brain because how good it is. Turns out, that was not the case.

It was a fucking notification about Crimson Rivers being posted.

I sat on my bed, and just stared. My brain wasn’t working. I was halfway though a bag of chips that my dog really wanted and staring at an email that bizarrestars fucking posted Crimson Rivers.

And Best Friend’s Brother.

And Just Lovers.

And all of those fics I was dying to read were back. All the fics that had me frothing at the mouth with want and the insatiable urge to consume everything he put back out into the world. And so, I followed the link in my email and oh my god-

They were back.

All of them. 

Every single one of their fics was back up and I was fucking psyched because I have an AO3 account and I have access to it again. Me, along with many other fans of his works and readers in this fandom, texted friends and loved ones. We smiled and downloaded the files, swearing that we will never lose those works again. 

___

So, like a normal, sane author, when I get an AO3 notification, I immediately drop everything and check it out. In my little pea brain filled with ways to torture my readers and ways to get them off through my words, I was thinking that maybe someone had kindly left a kudos on my work, or maybe even comment on it. All my works are ongoing and to be honest, I was a little scared to open my email because what if it’s a negative comment? What if it’s someone telling me that they hate me because I’m sick and twisted, writing the filth I do. What if it’s someone telling me that they hate how I made a certain character bisexual because in their mind, bisexual women can’t also be attracted to women? What if it’s someone telling me that the trauma I write about is misrepresented and that I am an awful person for romanticizing it when I swear I’m not, when I know that I’m drawing from experience. What if it’s someone saying the aforementioned trauma is too dramatized, and that the way that I write it as something to be worked through, doesn’t fit their “one kiss and all the bad memories go away” narrative they have in their head. What if it’s someone telling me I should be ashamed, telling me that I am disgusting, telling me that I shouldn’t write what I write even though I have hyperlinks embedded in my fics and even though I have additional warnings per chapter and even though I have so many tags the plot is given away. Turns out, that is not the case.

It was a fucking notification about Crimson Rivers being posted.

I sat on my bed, and just stared. My brain wasn’t working. I was halfway though a bag of chips that my dog really wanted and staring at an email that bizarrestars fucking posted Crimson Rivers.

And Best Friend’s Brother.

And Just Lovers.

And all of those fics people were dying to read were back. All the fics that had people online frothing at the mouth with want and the insatiable urge to consume everything he put back out into the world. And so, I followed the link in my email and

oh my god-

They were back.

All of them.

Every single one of their fics was back up and I was filled with fucking dread, because all I could focus on is how there’s a shiny new prongsfoot fic right there on the top of their page, the first thing people will see. All I could think about is how they talked about people not respecting their wishes with their fics  and how people on the internet are fucking relentless. All I could think about are the videos I will see with people complaining that they can’t read it because they don’t have an AO3 account and people attacking them for the two chapter prongsfoot fic right there, and how people fucking idolized the guy, putting him on a pedestal and hailing him as the “best fanfic writer ever, right there along with misskingbean (who may or may not be Taylor swift (I swear, Taylor is NOT misskingbean))”All I could think about is the exit he, and MANY OTHER authors made because people got ahold of their work and were fucking rude about it. All I could think of is someone who was practically pushed off the internet for doing what he loves so well that people started hating when he wrote what he wanted to write, and how now, he’s back and honestly, it scares me a little bit because he didn’t deserve the hell people put him through.

___

Crimson rivers, is it back? What now? Does that mean Zar is back? Short answer, yes, yes, and yes. Long answer, yes but only if you have an AO3 account and ONLY IF people can be fucking nice this time around and maybe remember that zar is a fucking person with fucking feelings and something called a fucking mental health to take care of. Authors have feelings too, we aren’t some mindless fic generator. If you want that, go to chat gtp or some shit. We put our hearts and souls into our work and share it because we want to put it out there, not because we want to get bullied.

Now, I know what you’re going to say, “oh, but I just really loved the guy, he was like the second coming of christ with his words like I just really wanted to read more because I loved him so much, like I forgot he was a human because I just loved him and a little love never hurt anyone.” 

But like, that’s also really fucking problematic and actually obsessive. Just think about it. Like this guy is a person and like, maybe you shouldn’t treat him like he is anything more OR ANYTHING LESS. Like honestly, he probably didn’t start posting his work to gain fame, like this was probably really unexpected for him. AND EVEN IF HE DID, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO TREAT HIM LIKE A FUCKING PRODUCT GOD DAMN. Like, this is a PERSON. Imagine if your best friend or little sibling came to you and was talking about people putting enormous pressure on them and being obsessed with everything they do and how they feel like they have to be perfect and please everyone because if they don’t, they’ll get harassed online and like, it’s genuinely damaging their mental health. Like, imagine if that happened to you. What would you tell them? Well, hopefully, you would tell them that those people are fucking obsessed and that they need to take a break and maybe, just maybe remove the works so they could put their mind to rest, because that’s better than this. Like come on everyone, can’t you fucking see the problem with that? Idolization and bullying go hand in hand and the poor guy has been though enough. 

Also, remember, be kind to the guy and like, idk, treat him with fucking human decency? Don’t deadname him maybe? Don’t like, idolize him? Don’t get mad when he writes what he wants to fucking write because you don’t like it? And maybe like, respect his wishes? It should be pretty fucking simple tbh, but apparently it’s a difficult task for some of you. He isn’t a fucking god and maybe like, before you comment, actually sit there and reflect on what you are going to say to him.

SO MAYBE, BEFORE YOU COMMENT SHIT, REMEMBER THAT ZAR’S, (and, for the record, every other author’s) MENTAL HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A 800K WORD STORY ABOUT DEAD WIZARDS. LIKE PLEASE, YOU CAN FUCKING LIVE WITHOUT ONE SPECIFIC FIC WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER FICS OUT THERE, AND SO MAYBE LIKE, REMEMBER TO RESPECT THE AUTHORS WHO WRITE YOUR STORIES.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, BEFORE YOU SAY SHIT, THINK ABOUT WHY HE FUCKING LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE, DEAR GOD.

[kimmkitsuragi]

FUCKING FINALLY it’s over like i can sleep like a normal fucking person instead of not sleeping for 3 days every other week and fucking up my mental and physical heatlh everyday

[mizumoues]

your turn, tell me about your favorite mutuals!

had a lot of trouble choosing a few but here goes 💀 this has a lot of inside jokes lmao

@shotorozu— i had to start with the one real user shotorozu, i am in love with your writing omfg. pretty sure we're gonna have known each other for more than one year soon, one of the few coolest people i know on here and they're so nice and funny ?? literally me but introverted and more laid back but also clumsy and smart at the same time which is not me 😋 has recommended half of the animes and mangas i've read and watched which is why i'm like this today

@uxavity — you're the 1% dumbass on my blog, breathe and exist if you fully agree <3 you're sweet and nice and you're also dumb as fuck and hilariously idiotic but we love you for that monkey mora. thanks for being who you are and loving who you love and bullying me and making me more of an idiot than i already am and leaving me to do the dishes while you and nez go on a date and for stealing my expensive car when i flirted with you 😐

@keiidot— gonna restart your y/n era with this <3 LMAO WHERE DO I EVEN START. one of my closest and also dumbest mutuals <3 kei idiot, kei toe, kei shoulder, you are my trash buddy for life and you will forever have my monkey heart (amora go away) and ash tray, only makima liker permitted on my blog yeah. your writing is so cute and you should go for it and make that other blog you were talking about cause i'm excited asf now and your cat is adorable and chaotic and better than you. dilf dandom forever 😩 /j

@akirine — hashtag rine supremacy actually. best older sibling so true. only smug person that i like 💀 /lh our first actual convo: chaos n confusion n disgust. you're so cool and i aspire to be badass like you when i grow up 🥺 jokes aside you're seriously one of the coolest and most supreme beings i have met on this app. your themes amaze me every time and your shit posts are gold on another level. thanks for listening to me rant about school <3

@shoyotime — when are we gonna kidnap oikawa and leave him at bermuda triangle and go somewhere (amora pays)? one of the best writers on here fr (congrats on 4k btw) 🤩 so much to say, but to keep it short — you're smart, exceptional and amazing and one of the mutuals that's actually kinda relatable <3 i would compliment your themes but they are really good idk what to say. you have soft but chaotic n confident n comforting vibes and i love that

@kiiraes + @cosmonettica — the iconic siblings go together. you two bully me most of the time but i'll allow it since you're both cute 😒 will never forget rae's peppa pig thing and will also never forget ris's "ris x ash" reply to my ask that i'm too lazy to find and copy paste. thanks for bullying me (ig you're the type of people who bully the people you love) and loving me you cute weirdos who're smart and talented and amazing and dumb

love you all <3

[lovelylogans]

:o Please please rant about the 100 and Bellamy!! I was only marginally into it so I don't know much but I love to hear your meta on literally everything!!

all RIGHT. spoilers for the 100 past this point! also i’m gonna go ahead and preface this with a warning about racism, and also that a lot of this is based off stan twitter, but like. they aren’t Wrong.

oh, also, i’m gonna go ahead and drop my stan twitter: i rarely make original posts, but, ya know. it’s a jumble of content. feel free to follow if u want.

also! there’s this whole thread of hiatus drama, if you want a fuller picture than what i’m giving you.

so a quick, general sum-up of some plot that goes into this Whole situation: the sixth season of t100 took place on a different planet, after t100 spent ~5 seasons on earth, so this introduced new characters and also the concept of interplanetary travel. in the season six finale, hope (the daughter of a character, diyoza, who was still pregnant with hope, because ~time travel~) stepped through what’s called “the anomaly,” says “i’m sorry,” and stabs octavia, dissipating her into green mist. bellamy, octavia’s brother (who has had Issues and a Lot of storylines centering around octavia, which is a whole other topic of conversation (ft. bellamy’s storylines centering around white women (bob morley, who plays bellamy, is half-filipino) octavia’s treatment by fandom vs bellamy’s, and you can probably tell which side i’m on by how loudly i screamed “YEEEEEESSSSSSS” when bellamy said “you’re my sister, but you’re not my responsibility anymore” after SIX SEASON of—okay you see, i’m getting off topic) 

anyway, the season closer was that octavia went through the anomaly, which (this is important!) a fair amount of the main characters saw (gabriel, hope, echo, and bellamy, namely) bellamy, in that same season closer, was running through the woods alone, yelling for octavia. season ending. good hook!

and then.... nothing.

seriously. the hiatus between season six and season seven of the hundred (the LAST season of the show, EVER!) there was next to no promotional material. no bts pics, no tweets from cast/crew, nada. nothing. which stirred up quite a bit of complaint in the fandom—one, it’s the last season, can we not have some promotion, and two, it’s the last season, and there’s no promotion by cast/crew/the cw, why is this happening?

seriously. the season seven teaser clip that got aired between episodes on the cw was released before the trailer. it became a meme, how long we were waiting for the trailer. like it was... what, 19, 20 days before the season aired, and all we had was like a stitched-together character poster?

there was also some drama throughout the hiatus, ft. the fandom getting on the news for not getting content in the hiatus, jessica harmon (who plays a guest role, nylah, and whose brother plays murphy) getting snappy at fans on twitter for asking for promotion, and isaiah washington, who played thelonious jaha (a character that died in s5) telling a minor (and also going into their dms!) that he’d call the fbi on them, good times, the 100 fandom is a Disaster and i live a nightmare every day

and then. the trailer drops.

which starts “where is bellamy?” like. people. were SEARCHING for bellamy. people were trying to be optimistic, but rapidly people were also coming to, like, the worst conclusions. however as always t100 fandom did have some jokes, so like, ya know

people were looking forward to other promo: the poster, and also, there’s this tradition of countdown bts photos for the show, and since bob and eliza (who plays clarke, the female lead) just got married, people had high hopes! 

and then came the poster (which had no bellamy, or characters at all) and then the OFFICIAL poster (which had characters, but still no bellamy) which started the hashtag #whereisbellamyblake, because, seriously, he’s the male lead and it’s the last season. also bonus screengrab of this from jroth (the lead writer’s) mom’s twitter lmao

so people rightfully had questions: the excuse that was being given was that including bellamy would be “spoilery,” except, like, it’s a poster? and the only shot of him in the trailer was him being dragged along the ground despite the fact that he was the thumbnail for the trailer? like, okay, which led to some twitter meltdowns, and some more, and again people were fearing the worst, because like, see lexa, jason has a BAD track record when it comes to fan-favorite ships. people were HEATED, people were RANTING, it was a MESS

also. the edited posters were pretty funny, okay, then bob and eliza, bless them, dropped some a+ twitter content, and things calmed down a bit

and then, countdown days started. usually, the order goes bob on one more day, and eliza on show day. except this year? eliza was one more day. which. people were going nuts. because it was a tradition! and keeping BOB out of a behind the scenes where there weren’t any spoilers? it just seemed unprofessional—especially damning, given jason’s past history with ricky whittle, who played lincoln, and was bullied off the set. people were worried that, one, this was affecting bob’s storyline, and two, well. remember that thing about fan-favorite ships? here’s a whole thread of that, btw. and a video of ricky whittle, here.

it is a genuine fear of a lot of the fandom that jason will, in all his pettiness, not give in to bellarke. which is kind of nutty, given that it’s the core relationship of the show, and he himself had said that he’d been foreshadowing it. bellamy and clarke are literally “the head and the heart” of the show.

oh, yeah. so hard cut to the showday pic.

cast. crew. writers. everyone.

except? no bob.

people lost their gotdamn MINDS.

there’s a lot of subsequent drama; the fact that apparently they’re pushing through clarke/gaia (even though there was ??? no previous evidence of this??) still no bellamy for four episodes (seriously, it took clarke, like, two episodes to even cotton onto the fact that he was missing at all)  a lot of criticism of jason (he’s shamed shipping and also, lmao, is trying to push through a spinoff?) and just. Yeah. 

i’m really burnt out when it comes to the 100 fandom; i’ve unfollowed a lot of the t100-centric tumblrs i used to follow, once the show is over i’m gonna unfollow a lot of the twitters and just, yeah. i care about bob and eliza, and i care about bellarke, but the fandom wears me out and the unprofessionalism of a lot of what’s gone down has kind of just? made me lose interest? they’re recycling storylines (esp centering around octavia and bellamy) and continuity doesn’t seem to really be a priority. i just... yeah. i mostly care about bellarke and the fact that i bond a lot with one of my real-life friends through this show. if bellarke doesn’t happen, i’m gonna be like Really... disappointed, mad, irritated? like. imagine. it’s literally So Easy. the actors got married, ffs, you’ve gotten in trouble for ending two ships via very tragic death (in the same season, even!) like how is this Not Clicking

anyway that’s my (entirely too long) rant about t100!!!!

[serenagaywaterford]

This episode made me ship them more. The whole scene with them fighting and trying to hurt each other was great. The cinematography was on point plus the crying made it so much better. I really love your take on the scenes your hashtags are the best. Also honestly nick is boring asf but I guess they are giving him some backstory but idk he might turn out to be a horrible person and I don’t think I would sympathize with him if they did. There is only room for one horrible person in my heart.

LMAO. “There is only room for one horrible person in my heart.” BIG MOOD! That section of my heart is also completely full. No more space. We’re at capacity! Serena is so horrible and also tall that I can’t fit anybody else in.

And, yeah, that fight scene was just so intimate that I was like “OooOoooOo”. How could I not ship them after that PASSIONATE FUCKING SCREAMING MATCH? I thought 3x01 was peak, but that may be even more? (Nah, 3x01 was peak simply cos they hugged afterwards. But this was... something else. In a good way.) I know often huge fights like this discourage people but man, if they feel that strongly about each other to fight like THAT, there’s a lot of fucking shit here to work with. And the actual words?! They’re the shit people say to lovers, or I guess family and best friends sometimes. Either way, it’s not the sort of shit you just fling at at a person you don’t really care about. And you certainly don’t cry about it or then lash out back at them.

It was a beautiful scene, all in all. I’d take that, even with all the pain and anger, over something like that Nick/June ...thing any day. (What was that? Honestly, Nick is so fucking boring. It’s like trying to converse with a boiled cabbage. Poor Lizzie.)

It’s no secret that i am no fan of nick. i’ve never really liked the guy. i full on was turned off him in 1x08(?)... whatever episode his backstory was. Like he’s just a fucking sketchy ass dude. he rubbed me the wrong way cos he’s such a Nice Guy TM. fucking fedora-wearing human porridge. god, i can’t stand him lmao. (and my dislike--beyond just how boring he is--was solidified in s2 when he’s just as selfish as anybody else complicit in Gilead). his fans can miss me with the insane mental gymnastics they do to excuse every single shitty thing about him and keep him a precious bb uwu. i’ve said it a million times: i appreciated his role in s1 cos it served a purpose but past that, i don’t even know why he’s even still around... other than ratings and this asinine concept that “omg we need a love story to balance out all the shitty stuff! we need hope and nice things!!” oh grow up. real hope is seeing these women topple gilead, get free, and reconnecting with loved ones. there are plenty of things in the meantime for hope too like i dunno, strong friendships! alliances! flashbacks to good times! fun musical cues! ...please anything but “hope means the main female character getting boned by some mediocre --at best-- male”. sorry, didn’t mean to rant!!!!!

i just wanted to say that IF serena (and the swiss lady) isn’t lying, that makes nick SLIGHTLY more interesting to me simply cos they’re developing shit they hinted at in s1, and even s2, if you’re watching without rose-coloured nick-glasses. he’s shady and always has been. making him integral to the rise of gilead is an excellent direction to take his character. and no, it’s not coming out of nowhere. the seeds were there for this. but that said, i would still have no sympathy for him lol. i don’t have sympathy for any man in THT really. (ok mayyyyybe luke to a limited degree. but no gilead man. especially no gilead man that actively works for gilead lol)

(if my heart has to be broken cos of what they’re doing to serena despite everything they promised, people who like nick can be broken-hearted too lmaoooooo.)

[kyunsies]

WAAAAH i just realized i never responded 😭😭 i’m sorry. i too wish i had know about kpop in high school, i was very much into 1D and bieber 🙃 i transitioned from CNCO and reggaeton to kpop….that was a ride going from spanish to korean 😂 but anyway i agree about 3rd gen music being so timeless, i do love it very much.

about 4th gen they really are getting younger and younger. every time i see their ages i audibly gasp, they’re younger than my sister (she’s 03). i personally think they shouldn’t be debuting any younger than 19 but i’m considered ancient to kpop stans so who am i to have an opinion lol but i keep thinking of all the discourse over shohei, the new sm rookie and ppl complaining about him being 96 line. personally I AM ALL for him debuting!

anyway i do hope ppl migrate back to tumbly bc twt is so ehhhh. i mean i use it a lot but i barely follow anyone except the groups i stan. though it would be nice to have more moots lol but only good ones

HI AGAIN LINA !!!! i hope u have been doing well these past few weeks we didn't talk!!! ITS TOTALLY OKAY !!!! i've been a bit busy so absolutely no worries, you just take your time <3 but LSDKFJ STOP i was such a hard core directioner in high school it's not even funny ;____; listened to all their albums kept up w everything they did all that jazz lsdkfj :') but ooooooh spanish music too!!! that's cool that you have experienced a lot of fandoms tho skldfjs it's always interesting :) and YEAH i don't want to sound stuck in my ways all the time and ofc i think there is talent all over the place, 3rd gen will always just have a special place in my heart <3

and yes 4th gen just keeps on getting younger and younger and like, i do think that it's cool that ppl are recognizing talent at a young age! but i agree with you in that there has to be some sort of system behind this stuff lol like, i think i've heard somewhere that nct has some new SM rookies and one of them is a 98 liner or something (which is my age lmao) and like !!! fans are getting mad that this is considered 'old' like,,,,,,,how messed up is that?? sorry i don't think children should be exposed to the crippling industry that is entertainment where you are basically being stripped from your core under the eyes of millions of ppl SLDKFJ ;____; i'm sure i'm considered ancient for kpop fans standards (i turn 24 this december hhh) but it's literally crazy how the younger generation has such a warped idea of what is "old" and in kpop it's no different,,,,, like did anyone give other ppl crap for liking one direction at literally any stage of life ?? i don't think so !!!! i am ranting at this point i am SORRY SLDFKJ but i just think it's getting really toxic that so many younger fans are putting like, an "age limit" on how to enjoy things that genuinely make us happy and that the younger you debut is the better when it's like no you need to become a resilient older individual i think !!! AND THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS LOL i completely agree w you lina !!!!!

and PLS DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THATTT after wonho left there was such a huge migration from monbebe tumblr to twt because of hashtagging and stuff but i was surprised mbb never migrated back here :( tumblr although is a hellsite LMAO gives you much more creative freedom not to mention the algorithm just makes SENSE. i hate twt besides being updated on stuff as well kdsjf <3

[theday]

hello! as 2017 is ending nd 2018 is starting i thought i’d do a mutual appreciation post like many others are doing/have done because wtf i love my friends [dowoon voice] hey! and yes thats me down there bc hashtag love myself hashtag love yourself - big time rush, 2017 

heres some (hopefully) short sappy story lads,, so ive converted this blog 3 times from a 5sos one to an aes blog and now we’re here! ive had this as a kpop sideblog since the start of july and i never expected to make as many friends as i have now and it still wows me so much wtf... i love all of you im gonna throw myself off a cliff into a sea of love 

legend: ☆ - people i love a lot, ☾- the most important to me!, bolded for trusted mutual

short message to my moon people alright hopefully i dont write an essay

☾ @softshouyous: falen waht the fuck u know when u told me we were only friends for a whole year and a half i didnt believe it ;-/ i thought we were pals for longer thats just how close we are i guess ive done so many falen love essays so ill be repeating myself lmao youre one of my greatest friends on here and twitter and i just wanted to say thank you, for a few things!! first for staying strong and being here today!! second is for following (back?) on twitter which lead us to not Dying off u kno...,, third is for being someone i can rely on whenever i need to and talking to you makes me feel the safest bc i know.. i know u rly like being my friend ur my safe friend my special place i love u :D 

☾ @briwoon: hey boxy!!!!!!!!! i dont remember how we became friends but i have a lot to say to u why didnt u send a tree in dhhdh u dont have to bc ill be professing my love for u here b*thc ! dude ok i always say this bc im basically a broken record but thank you sososososoosososososososoosososo much for introducing me to day6 because damn without you i wouldnt be here and i dont know how id have managed to survive the rest of the year without them so really- thank you so damn much i love u the mostest :( i know u might be going through some tough times but please know that i am here for you (so is bell!) so feel free to talk to us anytime!! another thing, thank u for introducing me to mx as well you really brought happiness into my life bc of everything..! ur imapct my dude!!!!!! this all happened bc of you! this is happening bc of you and i just want you to know that youve given me a reason to smile everyday nd im hoping one day youll have a reason to smile daily too! im glad astro are helping you out too and that you like them :-( i love u 2 the moon and back! 

☾ @tokayhk: bell just 2 start off ill be saying no homo duhdjhdh just kidding i love u so much okay i know we havent even been buddies for that long but it feels like ive known u for more! !!!!! ur a friend i can rant to (and be extra shady with) and youve also helped me accept reality (thank u god) even tho i did hate u for like 1 minute but im over that please dm me any time to tell me 2 wake the fuk up bc sometimes i need it ;-/ despite being a youngin youre super mature which led me to think u were like 18 but thats clearly not the case jdjs its okie though ur doing amazing for a [redacted] year old!!!!! please i love ur humor so much and every time u say ur not funny i wanna punhc u but with love bc ur the funniest person i know :-( u always make us (the hq) laugh and pleas its amazing ur presence in the gc rly brightens the whole place up i love u also ur impact ive been using the phrases u say a lot more often now i shld start crediting u in the tags or smth (c) bell ! also! im glad u got into astro bc before boxy u were the only person id be yelling to on twitter about astro im glad u like them too wtf ! i love u so much and thank u for being my friend and being born :-0 i already told u like a few lines back but u rly are funnie and also ur art i mcdie every time huhuuhu i miss ur streams but idk when im free ;-( ur streams rly made my day we became friends through that and the gc is thriving its been a good year ! 

ill stop there bc this post would get super long if i didnt now on 2 my buddies!! (?? how many alphabets are there)

A-L:

@astrofireworks / @briwoon ☆ / @ckyun / @chaekkung ☆ / @cinnamoonbunbin ☆ / @dalkkong ☆ / @eggkyun / @eunrocky / @gothhyungwon ☆ / @heybinnie / @hokidan / @hyyh-pt2 / @ikyh / @imchangkyute / @ilovedowoon / @jianhyuk / @jinwooes / @jooheun ☆ / @kihyunswife ☆ / @kimkyungsoos / @kiwirn / @leedongmlns ☆ / @ljh-94 

M-guys i cant do the fucking hashtag what the fuck pretend its there:

@m1nhyuk ☆ / @minhyukt ☆ / @mxgoth / @myunghjun / @mxrays / @minhyukwithagun ☆ / @monbeebs ☆ / @morningcallz / @nubebe ☆ / @oikawayylmao / @parkminhyuksegg / @softki​ / @softshouyous​ ☆ / @space-triangles​ / @smileyrocky​ / @tokayhk​ ☆ / @vmxns​ / @whonpil​ / @warmhyungwon / @04yeol / @1showho ☆ / @15hyungwon / @94honeyluv 

if you werent added in here (aka my dumbass forgot) just like this post and ill add u immediately!!! also dont worry if you werent bolded/starred i love everyone!!!!!! all of you have made my 2017 a little bit better and brighter and i hope we’ll be able to stay friends/mutuals in the next year as well 

feel free to unfollow/break the mutual anytime though!! :D your dash should be filled with things you want to see/love! this should be posted at 12am my time so happy new year (eve, for most) i hope everyone has a good day/night! thank you once again for making my year better ♡

i neevr shut up but another thing,, good job to everyone for managing to make it through another year!! im proud of everyone okie i love u guys :_) oh ya god can i shut up but shout out to my secret santas!!! miss cryptic if ur out there thank u for being an awesome ss i hope ur doing well !! 

[justanearth-boundmisfit]

(1) y'know it's so funny seeing the positivity police make all these posts about how they're stating their opinion abt the show that destiel is endgame & they never actually mean it bc they don't know anything but yet continue writing 58482923625 million metas on the color shirt dean is wearing & that one beer label that has the bi flag on it and how jack is uwu gonna bring his daddies together uwu like lmfaooo that's why we're calling ur shit out bc younger fans eat this shit up and start

Hi anon! Under the cut it goes the reply, you know, it got long as usual….and wanky. 

(A note after an asshole tried to police me: don’t like my rants or me venting or fandom wank and above all criticism towards the show: go away, this is not for you and it’s tagged properly.)

I agree with all that you said. But let me tell you this: before this year I never had a problem with what metas wrote about spn, Cas or destiel. After all internet is full with metas and fan theories about every show out there and every movie ever made. There are crazy as fuck theories that I’ve read and moved on, because everyone has a right to have a reading about the show they are watching. I was never against that. In fact there were some metas in the fandom that I truly admired because they were on point and they shared all of their thoughts with us. Kudos to them.

But then these new metas started to arrive with only one objective in mind: to prove that destiel is going to be canon no matter what. And again, ok, they had their readings, they hoped for something, I didn’t agree, but it was not my place to say anything. Suddenly all these people started to say that Cas being dead was a good thing. They were happy about it in fact and I was wtf? Really confused there, because no matter how much you love a ship, if you really like the characters you can’t be happy one of them is dead! And we have already so much shit from the show and the haters towards Cas, than to see “fans” clapping for his death… yeah I just couldn’t shut up. Not going to take well people cheering about my favorite character dying you know? 

After that, when a bunch of us said: hey that’s not ok, wtf are you saying that is good that Cas is gone? The mocking started. And I don’t follow any of them, but I’ve seen the posts ok? Because people shared them with me. I’m not fucking lying, I don’t need to. So, we bitter Cas fans not only had to put up with the haters but now we were also being mocked by some of his “fans” as well. I let it pass too, because I don’t like going to blogs to police people you know? I don’t do that. I vent and rant in my blog, but to go to their blogs to start shit as they were doing…nah, didn’t worth my time, really. But of course then, their policing began. I mean, I’m here, on my little corner, with my people, sad and bitter about not having Cas, and I see the positivity police going everywhere telling us: “you don’t know how to watch the show! Why don’t you like Jack? Why are you being so negative?! You do know that this is a drama right? I went through your tags and I’m baffled you are so wrong in everything!” And I’m not exaggerating here, these are things they said to us. In our blogs, through messages, or tagging us directly, reblogging us. So right there was the moment when I reached my fucking limit. Sorry not sorry. 

I have to put up with more than half the fandom cheering that Cas is dead or gone or absent, but also I can’t be sad or bitter or angry about that? What.the.ever.fuck??? I’m not having that shit ffs! I don’t care if they have 2423242 titles on their walls, nothing gives them the right to tell other people how to feel, or how to see things. We can exchange opinions, we can disagree or agree, but to police me about how I feel for my favorite character or if I watch the show this or that way, or to tell me to stop watching because I only like Cas,  who the fuck gave them the right? 

And now they are upset because we say that they are not really Cas’s fans. After they were really happy for his death, because endgame! Cry me a river! Don’t believe in their shit for one minute. I’ve never saw any fans happy about their fave dying, another exclusive and horrible thing spn fandom has now. I can’t fucking believe it. And all because of a ship. So they can’t tell me they like Cas if they prefer him dead, because of a sick notion that that is what is going to make destiel canon after 9 fucking seasons. If they prefer a placebo!cas because aaaawww dadstiel!! If they say that Cas being gone and captured is a good thing. They are so full of shit and themselves that I can’t believe how many people are buying their fucking lies and twisted readings. 

Which brings me to the poor people that believe in them and parrot everywhere their lies. I’m sorry for them really. I know the majority are new to the fandom and to the ship, and want to believe and be positive. And well I can’t feel anything but sorry for them. They are buying not only tptb lies, but also the bs these metas are spewing everywhere. And look I want a big happy ending for Cas too ok? Of course I want that! So I get it. But how that is going to happen if we only have Cas for a few minutes and then no Cas at all for months? If every time we saw him this season he was either dead, talking to the empty, on a fucking out of place cowboys cosplay episode and then saved by asshole Lucifer and on top of all that, being captured by a demon? How? And I didn’t need 2423423422 words to resume how Cas story line has been this season, to show you how crappy it is. It’s just there! I can’t be blind ffs! After all these years what purpose it serves being blind as fuck? 

Fandom being so happy with Cas being absent or clapping about placebo!cas, and not shouting to the rooftops how unfair that is, it’s what is going to give us even less Cas. A lot of us said it last season. And now here were are. We didn’t even saw him for the mid season finale. And I’m not fucking happy about being right. I surely hope with every season that I’m wrong as all fuck about my thoughts about Cas’s story and where they are taking it. Seriously. Last season a bunch of us saw Cas’s death coming, we wrote about it and how sad it was, and we got shit for that. Again. And I cried rivers watching Cas being stabbed on the back ok? Even if I knew it was going to happen I was really upset. I’m tired of seeing him hurt, bleeding, tortured, without powers, or with powers but treated like a weak angel (remember the I couldn’t kill a vampire? wft?), a fool that despite having all this pop culture in his head thanks to Metatron, doesn’t know who Beyoncé is, that goes to suicide missions that make no sense at all… I’m tired. And sad. And angry. And I have a right to express that on my fucking blog.

*sigh* And then they give me the discourse of “spnfamily!!” Lmao! Give me a break! hashtag only love! my fucking ass! This fandom has some good people ofc, but it’s also full of hypocrites. Don’t give me the peace! speech if you started shit in the first place, threw the rock, and hid the hand. Why people in this fandom can’t accept criticism towards a show that is mediocre at the best of times I will never understand. Now we even have “Cas’s fans” policing everywhere when we should stick together loving him. And wanting him back. You know, instead of wanting him dead, because of a fucking ship.

This got reaaaaally long, XD. Sorry! I guess I’m venting after a week or reading so much bs. 

Take care anon!