#I love my cat but god damn sir please just stop stressing me out

[ashacadence]

Hate to do this but had to bring my cat to the Emergency vet care clinic tonight. He had a ruptured abscess in one of his glands and because of the emergency it escalated the cost and so I am in need of some help. Spread the word and donate even a $1 or $3 (I think that’s the lowest for kofi can go I think if I remember)

I’m full on comms. Might take more but I just don’t want to get swamped or too stressed. Donations are just super helpful right now. I’m thinking I’ll try and do some adopts or ych’s instead first. So thank you. 🙏

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Or

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Or

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

Or

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Or

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

[shigarakislittlepet]

Hooooh boy👀 okay so if you have a character limit just do Dabi and Shinsou (my absolute favourite boys) but if you don't have a character limit I'd also like Aizawa and Bakugou with a s/o who's very obedient and good for them (and ofc good to them) and they're afraid that they're boring because they don't really break any rules or misbehave. Everybody's on and on abt brats and my obedient subby lil ass is over here like qwq obedient subbies aren't boring😤😤 take your time and don't feel pressured oke?? 💕💕

oh my god i love you, you are so so sweet 💕💕💕 I hope I did this request justice, the implications are just !!! So sweet QuQ

no character limit, so i will do all the bbys 🥰

TW: NSFW, Dom/sub themes, light quirk use for sexy times (shinsou), Daddy kink (for Aizawa, I’m sorry lol), some name calling... I think that’s it! Let me know if I missed anything!

HERES MY TAKE ON SUPER GOOD SUBS AND HOW THE HUBBIES WOULD REACT!

-Dabi-

•Okay okay so we all know Dabi is a HARD dom, he has a LOT of aggression to work through in a healthy way, and you help make that happen!

•You’d worry that Dabi would prefer a “bad girl”, a brat that talked back sometimes so he could punish them and REALLY let all that frustration out!

•Once you talked to him about it he would laugh at you. He’s just mean like that lol. BUT once he calmed down and realized it was something that was actually bothering you he’d just look at you and be like “...really?”

•Because what you HADN’T considered is that Dabi spent so much of his life with absolutely no control over his environment, he lived in constant fear of uncertainty. The only certainty he EVER had at home was pain.

•You provide him with total control. You never talk back, you never question him. You do as you’re told and then you say “Thank you Sir” in your sweet little voice no matter what depraved things he’s made you do for him. The absolute control he has with you makes him feel like he’s on top of the world! And you THANK him for it??? Way to stroke his massive ego while you’re at it, damn.

•You give him the stability he never thought he’d have, and the unconditional love and adoration and worship that he never thought he deserved. To him, you’re perfect. His perfect little angel. He would kill and die for you. He would get drunk off of your submission.

•He’d get bored of a brat pretty quickly, not as much of a power trip in his opinion. XP

•I feel like he doesn’t really go heavy on the praise, but when it DOES happen, when you’re on your knees worshipping his cock and using your talented mouth for what it’s MEANT to be used for, and he’s certain your mouth was meant for this, and he slides a hand into your hair grabbing a handful and tugging while his other hand grasps at any stable piece of furniture for some stability and groans out unfiltered praises in his deep gravelly voice??? It feels like you’re both on cloud nine, and nothing is ever going to tear you down from it.

-Shinsou-

• Shinsou would love his precious little kitty cat and shower you with praise and adoration and gifts to reward you for being so good for him all the time. He is a quiet simp, and will the worship the ground you walk on.

• If you voiced your concern about being boring, he would just smile deviously and then back you up against a wall of your shared apartment and start kissing your neck and saying things like “What do you mean kitty cat, don’t we have fun?” And then he will spend the next few hours reminding you just how much fun you have together~~~

• He would make sure that you never worried about being boring again. He would have a wonderful time making you verbalize all the "fun" things you want him to do to you. The fact that he can make you say all those embarrassing things so easily and make you beg for him without a second thought from you makes him so unbelievably feral. He doesn't even have to use his quirk to make you do anything he wants, which makes him feel like the most powerful man that’s ever lived, although whenever you bat your pretty little eyes at him and beg him to "Pleeeaaaassseeee brainwash me and turn me into your puppet? Pretty please?”. He will melt, and he will HAVE to grant all his perfect little kitten’s wishes.

• The reason he absolutely adores your complete obedience and submission is the undying and unwavering trust you clearly have in him. To do all the things he asks of you, no matter how humiliating, without so much as a single complaint? It makes him lightheaded and he will tell you that there is only one feeling in the world better than that, and thats being in love with you. He’s such a sap.

• It's the trust he gets off on. Even after becoming a pro-hero, the media tends to treat him similarly to Aizawa. They have this sort of “scary vigilanty that barely operates within the law” angle on him, even though he isn’t scary at all, and he’s a wonderful hero. The public tends to like him, but in a wary sort of way. Some people are still afraid to look him in the eyes or respond to him at all. So the trust you openly display is intoxicating to him.

• And of course, as is most important, the fact that you trust him enough that you will use your safe word when you need to, knowing that he will immediately put a stop to whatever is going on and hold you tight and take care of you never fails to warm his heart. He is never disappointed when this happens because it shows just how much you TRUST him to take care of you and not abuse his power.

-Aizawa-

• Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

•Okay so Aizawa is a different beast entirely.

•We all know Aizawa is a Daddy, and he expects his sweet little submissive baby to behave at all times. He’s HAD bratty subs before, and honestly, he finds them tiring. He can and WILL correct misbehaving subs with an iron fist, but over time he’s gotten tired of the whiny “make me”’s and the purposeful breaking of his carefully thought out rules.

•He deals with bratty teens all day, what makes you think he has the patience to deal with another brat at HOME? Nah.

•What he enjoys most about your near worshipful levels of obedience and submission is the level of respect you display to him. How much you truly want to please him and impress him. He finds it equally endearing and entertaining.

• You memorized every single one of his rules, every position, every expectation that he had of you, and you never failed to preform beautifully. He would never expect PERFECTION from a partner, per say, he’s perfectly lenient when and if you make an honest mistake, but he tells you all the time how perfect you are for him. He’ll tell you how much he loves the lengths at which you’ll go to please him.

• This man LIVES to tease you about how obedient you are, almost daring you to step out of line. You never take the bait though, you just get adorably embarrassed and pout at him while he teases you more. “Awe, what is it kitten? You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you like it when I tease you.” as he drags his thumb across your lower lip while it trembles, the deep bass of his voice reverebrating through your skull and turning you to mush.

•He layers the praise on THICK when you’ve earned it. Once he’s had his fun tormenting and teasing and edging you, he will fuck you slowly and deeply, agonizingly, and he will tell you what a good little slut you are for his cock and it’s ages before you realize that he’s prolonging your torture by fucking you this way and saying these things to you. He wants to see how far he can push you before you either break down into a pitiful mess of tears and pleas, or if maybe ther IS a needy little brat in there just waiting to come out. It’s always the former though, and he always loves getting you to that point. You’d do anything for him, and he knows it. He gets just a little high on it.

-Bakugou-

•Mans wrote the BOOK on hero worship, and he expects you to worship.

•Pro-hero Dynamight expects nothing but perfection, and he expects you to measure up. He can tell a brat from a mile away, and I genuinely think he actively avoids them. He’s enough of a brat to for both of you anyway lmao

•I hope you like pain, because he’s the type to inflict it for fun and not just for punishment. A true sadist for the truest masochist.

•If you ever talked to Bakugou about your fear of being boring to him, I really hope you’re prepared for the consequences. “What??? You think if you were just some boring shitty extra that I’d honestly waste any time on you? Do you really think I’m that stupid???” Its all in an attempt to reassure you, but he will spend the rest of the night punishing you for thinking so lowly of yourself.

•No matter HOW good you seem to be, getting a praise out of this man is damn near IMPOSSIBLE, even when he IS pleased with you. Getting him to verbalize anything he’s happy about is a struggle, so you start to look for the subtle signs. You notice his hands trail lightly down your back when you handle the paddle better than the night before. The way he brushes your hair out of your face when he’s roughly fucking into you after a particularly frustrating day of hero work, and you don’t even bat an eye at his brutality. The soft smile you almost miss when you KNOW he’s had a rough day at work and meet him at the door, already on your knees in one of his favorite outfits and with dinner already cooking away on the stove. Sure, he usually cooks, but when all he has to do is come home and have you... He’s damn near ready to propose every time you do it because you are just. So. Good to him. Good for him. And on those days, when you’re both showered and warm in bed and he’s stroking your hair and half asleep, you can hear faint praises fall from his lips. You know he means them everyday, but it’s on these days when his stress is melted away completely by your touch and your love and he’s so filled with contentment and just by being with you that his heart and mind are relaxed enough to let a little vulnerability show. As a treat.

• He never thought he would feel like this about anyone. Never thought that anyone would ever measure up to his impossible standards, but you take all his gruffness in stride and throw it back at him by being warm and loving, following all of his rules, doing everything you can to make him happy, and treating him like a god. He can’t think of anything better than spending the rest of his life with you.

[pearl-blue-musings]

Perchance to Meet pt. 3

whoops is it time for a little bit of angst??? i think it’s time for a little bit of angst. 

warnings: cussing, suggestive language, attempted assault, sexual assault, stalking, unwanted advantages,smut, angst, another smut warning cause i haven’t written smut in a HOT minute, please 18+ cannot stress that enough 

masterlist for my writing

Part 4 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One date had turned into three which sprouted into many many more. Despite having challenging schedules, the two new found lovers made time for each other. Aizawa didn’t really think he’d get a chance like this but here he is, standing outside the bookstore he frequents as often as he can with a tiny goofy grin on his face.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

He stutters out a response upon seeing the outfit his girlfriend decided to wear. It wasn’t an easy thing to squeeze out of the man, but after the fifth date and the first time she spent the night at his place the couple made it official. Even his co-workers couldn’t believe the sleepy man had a girlfriend on top of everything he already does… But here she is, wearing one of his favorite outfits of hers as they meet up for a brief date.

“I was about to drop dead if I had to wait any longer,” he whispers as he leans in to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love the way you look tonight.”

(Y/n) looks away embarrassed. Even though they had been dating for over three months now, she still couldn’t get used to Shouta’s flirting and downright cuteness. “T-thank you, Sho. I’m glad you get a few hours before your patrol shift starts.” She looks to him with bright and eager eyes that he could get lost in forever. “So, where are we going?”

It takes a little willpower in Aizawa to hold back a smirk as he enjoys the view of her impatience adorn her features. He’s not sure who will be more excited for the date, him or her.

“You’ll see,” he snickers. Her eyes roll as they stroll along the street. The setting sun ahead of them litters the sky with beautiful purples and oranges; a few clouds line the skies giving the world around them an ethereal feel.

They continue to walk for about ten more minutes, having mindless conversation about anything and everything, from how he’s going to be a homeroom teacher for the next year, how she wants to add a café portion to her bookstore to draw in more people and have more income, it flows seamlessly.

Soon they stop at a store front that is unfamiliar to the woman. Once she sees that her lover has stopped, she looks to the sign and suddenly her face lights up.

“Shouta, shut up are you serious?”

He leans down to her ear, “we’ve walked by this before and I’ve always noticed how your eyes linger here. So I got us reservations.”

The sparkle in her eye is unfazed as the grin on her face only gets wider.

“A cat café!? Shouta, I can’t- I mean you took me? Here? God, you’re amazing! I just-“ she ends her sentence by pulling him by his jacket collar and kissing him lovingly. After his initial shock, he cups her face with his warm hands and deepens the kiss. The feel of his lips on hers is a sense she never wants to tire of; she’s practically addicted to it already.

Aizawa hesitantly pulls away, “as much as I’d like to continue that, we don’t wanna miss our reservation, Kitten.” He kisses her on the cheek and pulls her inside the establishment. Once inside, the couple gets swept up in the ambiance of the place. (Y/n) had an inkling that this date wasn’t just to make you happy, but to make a certain cat lover of a man next her happy too. She had picked up on his love of cats and strays on their other dates and she may or may not attempt to adopt one of the cats as a surprise.

Two hours went by too quickly in the couples opinion, but they had to sadly leave. Their stomachs and hearts full, the two begin their walk back to the bookstore. A deep voice breaks the content silent. “I really don’t want to go on patrol tonight.” (Y/n)’s eyebrows furrow at his statement and silently urges Aizawa to continue. “I want to keep looking at you like this. So happy and content… I wish our schedules weren’t so crazy.”

“I do too,” she breathes, “but that’s how it is and I get it. I mean, we both know each other at this point and know that we’re busy. It’s life, we do what we love and hopefully someone will be there with us you know…”

The momentum of the conversation slows as they reach the bookstore. The words she wishes to say fill up her lungs begging to burst from her lips as she stares at the pre hero before. She gulps whatever anxiety she has and blurts out the words she’s wanted to say all night.

“I love you.”

Black eyes widen at the proclamation and then soften once he sees the shyness and slight fear (Y/n) poses in front of him. He steps up to her, staring at her lips then back to the eyes he can get lost in forever and whispers, “I know, I love you too Kitten,” and softly kisses her lips.

***************************************

“Hey, it’s (Y/n), I mean, yeah it’s me… But where are you? I’ve been waiting outside the club for about 10 minutes now. I know your patrol ended half an hour ago. Just call me back okay?”

(Y/n) grouchily hangs up the phone and pouts. She knew he was out late which is why she wanted him to pick her up from work so she could spend the weekend at his apartment. Aizawa had just finished the first week of school as the new 1-A homeroom teacher and his girlfriend knew he would need sometime to relax. Begrudgingly, of course.

She looks to her phone again and sees that it’s approaching 2:30 in the morning. Normally she doesn’t take closing shifts because of the bookstore, but wanted to align her schedule with Aizawa’s for some time together. After almost a year don’t you think he would have been a little more considerate of this fact? This wasn’t easy for her with the new café being added to her store and having to hire new employees; she needed this one little thing.

“Fuck it, I’m walking by myself.”

Clearly a bad idea. Blissfully unaware, she sullenly walked away from her second job and toward Aizawa’s apartment. The city at night wasn’t always the safest and she knew that, but she had been waiting for more than 20 minutes for Aizawa to show and he hadn’t so she took matters into her own hand. She kept her bag close to her body as she sped walk, attempting to keep her roaring thoughts at bay.

Her phone buzzes which halts her mind, and herself, and she stops in her path. She reaches in a sees a text from him saying “omw”. That’s it? And just now? Barely being on her way, she decides to turn around and go back to their original meeting place.

Bad idea number two. Roughly, she bumps into a stiff being and trips back a few steps. In front of her is a man in a long coat and hat, covering most of his identity. “Excuse me,” she mutters past him, but is abruptly stopped when his hand grips her forearm.

“You don’t remember me.”

“Sir, let go of me.”

“Why don’t you remember me?!”

Panic rising in her, (Y/n) begins to struggle against her assailant. “Sir I have no idea what you want from me! Please let me go.”

The man, clearly hysterical, pulls her into a nearby alley and slams her against the brick wall. The woman winces in pain and tries her best to not cry in front of this stranger. “Please, just take my bag… Don’t hurt me!”

“…Why don’t you remember me? You served me for months at the club. Months! You always made my favorite drink, always made me feel better. I love you (Y/F/n)! I always gave you extra tips when I came in and now I find that you’re thinking of quitting?! Is there someone else? I left my wife like you said I should because I wasn’t happy!”

The more the man rambles, the more she starts to remember. He went by the name Shuichi Oda and from what she gathered had a rough night. Obviously a drunk, it seems like things haven’t been going well for him. She remembers having some brief conversations with him to make her patron feel better but… Damn it! She knew that this was the downside of her quirk, some people took it too personally.

“Look, Shuichi-“

“You do remember me!” He exclaims and pulls her into an unneeded hug and starts to pet her hair. “I’ve been waiting for you to be alone for quite some time. Your quirk made me feel better. You, made me feel better.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she shakily tries to reason, “I’m just a bartender. It’s my job to make people feel better.”

The man hits his head with his fist, frightening the woman. “No! With you, it’s different, see?” After he says he leans in to sloppily kiss her, holding her still against the wall behind her. His hands begin to roam in places they shouldn’t which make tears start to form in her eyes. “Please don’t cry,” he wipes a tear from her face but she moves out of his reach. “Don’t be scared, I love you. And you’re gonna come with me and be with me forever okay?”

“Please,” she screams, “let me go! I have- mmph!”

“Sh sh sh sh, we can’t have you screaming! Others could hear and try to take you away from me!” The hand he placed over her mouth is now covered in tears from her eyes. She bites at him, but his maniacal smile only gets bigger. “I don’t feel physical pain darling, just emotional.” As soon as he says that, his wandering other hand goes toward her breast and he sighs in contentment. “Oh how I’ve longed for this-“

“That’s enough!”

Soon Shuichi is being thrust into the air. He’s wrapped up in bindings and hanging from a nearby streetlamp. Eyes glowing red stare at the apprehended man and pull the wraps tighter, causing him to cough in pain. Aizawa tugs on the wraps to make the man hit his head on the light and pass out. Luckily some sirens are heard closely as someone walking by heard her scream and called for the police. Aizawa was on his way and followed the direction of the police cars hoping it didn’t involve his lover.

An hour later finds the couple walking into the pro hero’s apartment. A strong silver blanket is still wrapped around (Y/n)’s body as they make their way in. They both take off their shoes and settle in silence as the events of the last hour replay through their minds. They don’t even bother to eat anything and start to get ready for bed. Her pajamas are partially on when he sits down on the bed and mumbles, “why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Hm? What was that?”

Sighing louder, her turns to face her. “I said, why didn’t you wait for me like you were supposed to?”

(Y/n) scoffs as she pulls his shirt down her body. “Are you kidding me? Why didn’t I wait? Why were you late?” Her question came out more forceful than she intended but it had been a very long day. “I rearranged my schedule so then we could get off work around the same time for once. Where the hell were you?”

“Don’t give me that,” he states getting louder, “school went late so I began my patrol late.”

“Would it have killed you to tell me that instead of keeping me waiting?”

“Would it have killed you to wait where I wanted you to? Then maybe tonight wouldn’t have happened.”

Her mouth flew open at his assumption. “Are you saying me getting attacked was my fault?!”

Aizawa rolls his eyes as his frustration grows. “If you had just stayed there and waited I was going to get there.”

“Yeah sure! But did you forget the part where that nutjob has been following me for months? He would’ve gotten to me regardless.”

“That’s because you’re too kind. Letting people think that all their problems and issues will go away with just the right fix!”

“You’re ridiculous!” You yell, “Is that really what you think of me and my quirk? Is that what you think I did to you?” (Y/n) moves around the bed to get face to face with him to prove more of her point.

He stands up off the bed to look down at her. “It could be like that for him or any other guy you’re kind to or use your quirk on. All you had to do was wait!”

“And we’re back to where we fucking started. You were late! What was I supposed to do? Wait for the next guy to come along and fuck me over in the middle of the night?”

“(Y/n) that’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Oh is it? Then why do you keep putting the blame on whether or not I waited?”

“Look,” he recedes slightly, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me being late, but you can’t just walk around by yourself like that!”

“Fuck off, yes I can! I’ve done it before why does it suddenly have to change now?”

“Because I fucking love you, idiot!”

Throats hoarse after the shouting match, black eyes shut as he sinks into the bed. (Y/n)’s conviction begins to falter as she follows him onto the mattress. “Shouta?”

He takes a deep breath in attempt to control himself, “I know I should have told you I was late, I’m sorry. But, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. When you weren’t there, I panicked.” He leans onto her shoulder while she rubs his back soothingly. “I was so scared for you. When I saw him touching you, I saw red.”

(Y/n) breathes deeply taking in his words, “Sho…”

“I don’t want to lose you, or have you be hurt because of me. I’m a pro-hero and a teacher at a prominent school, I’m bound to have some enemies.” He sits up to meet her gaze, holding her face in his hands. “That guy hurt you because of you and I wasn’t there.”

“Sho, it’s not your fault.”

Silence falls over them, letting the weight of their words settle into their beings. He brings her forehead toward his as fresh tears fall from her face wetting his skin.

“Kitty cat, I’m sorry for yelling.”

She kisses him lightly, “Me too.”

He kisses her again, and again, and again, Until the light, chaste kisses become deep and full of lust. Her hands find solace in his hair as her lips grant his tongue entrance. He pulls her closer to him, hoping that she can feel his erection through his pants. The feeling of him grinding against her sleep shorts elicits a moan from her mouth that makes him harder. They break for air, a line of saliva connecting them as their pupils dilate.

“Fuck I wanna keep going but you’ve had a long day.” He tries to pull away from her only to be brought in for another breathless kiss. His hands automatically went to her hips. “Kitten,” he moans into her lips.

“We have the whole weekend for me to treat you right. The whole weekend for you to be screaming my name, calling me daddy,” he smacks her ass at that comment earning a hiss from (Y/n) which ended up making her even more wet. “But we need to sleep.”

“Fuck you Shouta,” she whines. “I wanna fuck you now. I’m already so fucking wet for you and I know your dick is itching to be in my mouth or better yet in me.”

Aizawa grunts at the implications but stays strong. “No, sweetie. As much as I really want to, we gotta sleep.”

“Please I want to forget he touched me so please do something or else-“

At that she’s quickly pinned to the bed with the strong man above her. “Don’t forget,” he whispers, “you asked for this.” He slowly drags her bottoms down her legs, exposing her dripping sex to him. It took everything in him to not move too fast. Once her pj bottoms were thrown across the room, he situates himself between her legs, rubbing his hands up her calf, to her thighs enticingly slow. A pressure is felt on her hips as she’s being held in place by her lovers grip.

On instinct her hips buck slightly, eagerly awaiting what’s to come. The feel of his breath on her inner thigh sends her thoughts into a frenzy, only for him to place his lips around the sensitive skin. His kisses are feather light that they almost don’t feel like they’re there, but she’s reminded as soon as his teeth make contact with her skin. A whine escapes her lips at the action, making Aizawa growl.

“Fuck, kitten, you’re so wet for me.”

“Mhm, ah, only for you Daddy- ah fuck!”

All his restraint came undone at the pet name as he wrapped his lips around her folds, sucking and tonguing her with earnest. The way his tongue would flit in and out of her wet hole drove him crazy; it was like she was made for him and only him. He continues to lap at her folds, already starting to feel the pressure build up within her.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna cum for Daddy this early, eh? All I’ve done with eat you out and I’m not full. Plus,” he sneaks a finger into making her hiss and cuss, “I don’t think you’ve had your fill yet Kitty cat.”

Her moans and whines are music to his ears as he doesn’t let up his ministrations. Now two fingers deep into her, he begins to scissor her open while sucking on her abused and pronounced clit.

“Ah, fuck Sho. I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” (Y/n) is breathless as her back arches off the mattress for the umpteenth time. She can feel him smile against her as he lifts up to face her. “Then cum Kitten, cum for Daddy.” His motions speed up and upon hearing her scream out his name mixed with curses, he lets up. God, she looks beautiful like this. Her body is covered in a glimmering layer of sweat, her stomach moving in time with her rampant breathing as she comes down from her high. No one else will get to see her like this, no one. Aizawa wipes away sweat from her brow and leans in to let her taste herself on his tongue. The action alone is enough to make him want to burst, which he is tempted to do.

“Damn, you’re still so wet and slick for me,” he notes swiping a finger against her to reaffirm.

“Babe, rollover. I wanna ride you.”

The lovely man above her lifts an eyebrow at her request, “as you wish, princess.” He is then forcibly pinned, almost like what happened to her not too long ago. “Fuck, you look so hot from down here babe.” He knows that she needs this, to feel to be in charge and take the lead. So he doesn’t help her line up the tip of his hard cock to her entrance, and he doesn’t push himself up into her like he wants.

A wanton moan escapes his lovers lips as she finally settles herself on his cock. She feels the grumble and twitching from her his dick inside her and the feeling is euphoric. The pro-hero’s breath gets shallower as he waits for her to move on him, again holding himself back from taking charge. Once she starts bouncing on his cock, all he can do is whisper and moan out praises and curses. “Fuck, Kitten. That feels so fucking good.”

“Yeah babe? You like the way I’m riding your cock?”

He hisses, “fuck yeah. Please do it more- unf.”

Suddenly he feels a new and ecstatic feeling as she gyrates her hips in ways that have him seeing stars. He’s trying to figure out if there’s some kind of pattern. And then it hits him.

“You spelling your name on my cock, yeah?”

A gasp for air is heard from both of them before she responds, “I’m just, ah, letting you know who this belongs to baby.”

“Ah fuck, Kitten, I’m gonna cum soon. But first,” his voice lowers as he grabs her breast in his hand. His thumb flicks over her nipple, earning another moan before he wraps his lips around it. His tongue continues to work the hardening bud as his hand kneads her mound. His free hand works its way to her clit and begins to rub it fiercely.

“Fuck Shouta, if you keep doing that…”

A slick pop is heard as black eyes bore into lust filled ones. “I know Kitten, we’re so close. Come on, let Daddy cum. Let me cum inside baby.” “Yes, yes ah fuck- FUCK!”

The melodious sound of moans and whimpers fill the once noiseless bedroom as the couple comes down from their highs. They fall onto each other, sweat covered and full of love for each other. Their breathing starts to slow the more they wait out, still being connected by their sexes. (Y/n) is the first to move as she slowly removes herself from her boyfriends embrace, whining at the loss of contact. Aizawa leans up slightly to take in her form and beauty.

“I’ll go grab a towel and some water.”

He pecks her cheek and leaves the room. Once he returns, he sees (Y/n) and fondly smiles. She had finally fallen asleep after everything was said and done. He rolls his eyes but continues to clean up their little mess. He leaves her water glass on her nightstand while he had finished his.

Aizawa pulls the covers over the two of them as he cuddles into his girlfriend, watching her sleep soundly. She looks ethereal right now, no problems or stress on her features.

“I swear I will protect you. Whatever it takes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ha ha hahahahaha it’s so long whoops but yee if the option is there the taglist is open!  @kiribaku-queen @shinsouskitten @therealwalmartjesus @prk-pyo @cupcake-rogue

[atinybitofau]

S A N ⇾ office au

THE TYPICAL BOSS AND ASSISTANT LOVE STORY

      a/n: my god this took so loooonggggggg. hope ya’ll ready for this omg. sorry guys, reposted for the cut. 

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• was it wrong for you to drool over your hot as fuck boss?

• absolutely not.

• not when every other single woman in the company does it.

• you also hate that one of these women managed to snag your position as his assistant the moment he upheld his promise to you.

• in becoming marketing director.

• the days seeing him going by so long, you actually think you’re getting withdrawals.

• “Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.”

• you sneer at Seonghwa when he enters the lounge room.

• a room made by your boss himself.

• who’d rather spoil his employees,

• than have them hate him.

• but you still kind of do.

• “Seonghwa, don’t you have- I don’t know. A company to run?”

• the man loosens his tie and joins you at the love seat. “San invited me to talk numbers, babe. Don’t act like you aren’t happy to see me.”

• you roll your eyes. “I’m clearly ecstatic.”

• Seonghwa chuckles at your response and let’s you leisure for a little in your thoughts.

• see Seonghwa was kind of different from San.

• in a sense that,

• he belittled a lot of his workers.

• to make clear his intentions at work.

• as a deserving entrepreneur.

• also one who was locked down with a ring.

• married to your best friend of course.

• “Hyemi tells me you’re tired of work.”

• you laugh in a half hearted way. “Wonder why she says that.”

• little bitch always has to rat you out.

• “Now I might be wrong but she made it seem like you hate San more than you used to. At least, considering you didn’t hate him at all. In fact, I remember you were head over heels for him. Just doting every check in your crush book.”

• you glare at Seonghwa. “See. That’s why I refused to make a speech at your wedding. You two are out to get me.”

• “Forgive me.” he chuckles at your defense. “But you know the teasing can’t be helped with you. You always find a way to fierce an insult back.”

• “Obviously if you aren’t offended by them, they aren’t insults.”

• “Honestly y/n. Lighten up. You can tell me what you’ve been stressing about too you know.”

• stressing?

• what’s really been stressing you?

• like watching the notorious playboy crush of yours get all touchy touchy with your replacement?

• or the work he forgets to bring you sometimes.

• like,

• did you really not make an impact in his life?

• were you really just one of those single women he knew liked him?

• now that’s a stress.

• “So? What is it?”

• you turn to Seonghwa eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide in curiousness. “Call me crazy but I think I miss being San’s reputationless assistant.”

• Seonghwa snorts. “You can’t be serious.”

• “I’m 100 percent serious, Hwa. Before you got married to Hyemi, I was so happy with pairing you two together, you know? Cause she’s a diamond in the rough. She stands out.”

• “Your point is?”

• “Do I not stand out?”

• “Y/n…”

• Seonghwa realizes,

• not sure why you hadn’t,

• that you were in love with San.

• that it wasn’t just a menial office crush anymore.

• “Wouldn’t being his marketing director be more of an upgrade? You shouldn’t be looking at his assistant with those kind of eyes. You deserve your position. Regardless of San’s um lack thereof…”

• you two speak like he wouldn’t be able to hear you.

• as if his building isn’t hooked up to audio perceptive cameras.

• as if he wasn’t listening to the entire conversation.

• whoops.

• he was.

• “Jane? Get me y/n. And tell her it’s urgent.”

• San saw you as you were.

• a gorgeous and independent woman.

• who deserved the promotion he had given you.

• a woman who appealed to every check mark in his own book.

• dotting out the possibilities.

• even the one he’d refuse anyday.

• the possibility to settle down that is.

• “You wanted to see me, Mr. Choi?”

• you walk in and your voice is as velvet as ever.

• your outfit a reflection of the woman you really are.

• only of his dreams.

• “Yes please take a seat. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”

• you were nervous.

• he’s never called out to you before.

• “Did I do something wrong, sir?”

• “No.” he smiles innocently at you hands folded over his desk. “Actually, I need a favor.”

• you have enough favors you had agreed to commit too.

• a tower of paperwork on your desk.

• “O-okay. Sure.”

• “I need you to accompany me to Beijing this weekend.”

• you deadpan. “Sir?”

• he lightly chuckles,

• staring like an idiot because he missed seeing you as often as he used to.

• “My partners in discussion are spending the weekend there on a retreat. It’s a canny way for us business exec’s to make our bite. As marketing director, I’m sure you know how important that is.”

• course it was…

• just,

• “Shouldn’t your assistant be accompanying you?”

• “Yes. But I would like you to come along. After all, Seonghwa’s already half bitten by you anyway.”

• Seonghwa’s excited about it.

• your best friend having the decency of telling him your plans of joining her husband’s retreat on Saturday.

• but you weren’t.

• weren’t because you were now forced to watch San flirt with his assistant.

• all the way to China.

• “One dry martini please. You know what, make it three.”

• you face plant the counter as you let exhaustion take over.

• the sight of watching your long time crush flirt with another woman not sitting as easy as alcohol would.

• “Well well well look who we have here.”

• you mentally note to murder your best friend’s husband the next time things are on your side.

• whipping around with a vicious glare you say, “Seonghwa would you leave me the fuck alone?”

• your anger falters when you see your smirking boss beside him,

• wearing causal clothes and blatant amusement.

• “Now that’s no way you should speak to your higher ups, y/n. You know better.”

• you narrow a secret glare to the devil himself before bowing to San in apology.

• “Please excuse my language. It’s the only language Seonghwa understands unfortunately. That and I’m off the clock so I’m just gonna-“

• you stand up to find another spot at the empty bar until San justs you in.

• “No, y/n. Please stay. You should join two old friends. We sometimes have nothing to talk about and I’m sure you’ve got plenty of topics.”

• plenty, Seonghwa mouths to you.

• when San turns around you show him a finger of disapproval.

• and a side glare of disgust.

• “Your dry martini, Miss.”

• “Please add it to my tab.” San slips his card to the bartender smoothly. like he’s done it a hundred times before. “I’ll pay for her drinks from here on.”

• “S-San, you don’t need to do that.”

• “San?”

• Seonghwa’s smirking.

• thinking his wife was right.

• that you always seem to find a way to do other people’s work for them.

• “Oh crap, I MEAN— shit. No wait.”

• San chuckles at the fluster and you chug down your drink.

• hoping this all fades away to obscurity tomorrow.

• “First topic.” Seonghwa starts after sipping his whiskey. “We should praise y/n for everything she’s done. I mean, with everything on her plate I’m sure joining us today was a set back.”

• you prick your teeth in annoyance.

• praying Seonghwa would take a god damn hint once in a while.

• “She’s always been more leisure than business to me.” San admits. “Thank you for coming, y/n. I really appreciate it.”

• you forget that you’re a light weight.

• already chugging three martini’s.

• dry.

• “You should really thank your assistant. After all without her, you wouldn’t be here really.”

• both men choke on their drinks.

• shocked by your brutal remark.

• “Excuse me?”

• “I mean, really.” you turn in your chair and hiccup. “Your assistant’s got everything. Your work load, your time schedule, your attention. If not for her, you wouldn’t be this successful.”

• San’s jaw clenches.

• and Seonghwa’s sitting there completely amused.

• teeth showing in awe.

• “Please continue.”

• “Hyung, she’s drunk.”

• Oh, Seonghwa and you both know you really aren’t.

• but he’ll go with it anyway.

• “Listen for once, San. She’s not just an employee of yours, you know.”

• their secret convo is interrupted with your not-so-drunk continuation.

• “L-like. She’s even got the looks! Gets your things ready and of course you’ll give her what she deserves. All those subtle compliments about her skirt that practically rides up her ass.”

• he doesn’t exactly know how to react.

• but he hears you out.

• “And come on, Mr. Choi. You aren’t fooling anybody. We all know what you really need an assistant for.”

• Seonghwa snickers.

• loving this more than he should right now.

• “And what’s that, ms. y/l/n?”

• you grab your bag to leave.

• “You should ask your assistant. Since you couldn’t stop praising almost every little thing about the crap job she does.”

• San stands to chase after you but Seonghwa holds him down.

• “Fucking hell, hyung. Let me go and tell that little—“

• “You know y/n’s in love with you right?”

• he stops.

• staring at his old friend in disbelief.

• “Yeah? Well it doesn’t fucking sound like it.”

• “Cycle back on what she said about you, dumbass. Now think. Was she really ridiculing your lifestyle? Or was she really just trying to get your bloody attention you fool.”

• San sprints.

• not wanting to justify himself this time around.

• but wanting to confess.

• he wants to tell you that you aren’t what you think you just are—

• his old assistant he wanted to replace.

• God no.

• he’s been wanting you back at your desk since the day he signed your new contract.

• that you were once a good friend of his before you stopped.

• not knowing you stopped casually speaking to him because of his new assistant in the first place.

• but he’s been wanting to settle down honestly.

• the chances it be with you sounding pretty damn good after hearing what Seonghwa had to say.

• “Y/n, would you wait!”

• you whip around suddenly not feeling drunk at all,

• martini’s not your best problem solver.

• one that hit strong but settled poorly.

• “You got anything more to add? Maybe that I should be fired for my honesty? Please, Mr. Choi, by all means, if that’s what you’ve been dying to do since day one, you should’ve done that instead of giving me a crap excuse being your marketing director.”

• he’s a little taken aback he must admit.

• thinking you were drunk more than sober enough to argue.

• “Weren’t you drunk just a couple minutes ago?”

• you blink away, swallowing down the last of the intoxication. “Martini’s don’t last too long in my system unfortunately. Just like me to you.”

• he hates the analogy more than he should.

• cause it’s true that you didn’t last long to him.

• though,

• now he’s willing to change his mind.

• he narrows his eyes towering over you like the big executive he is before asking, “If my new assistant bothered you so much, why didn’t you just tell me you wanted your old position back?”

• your heart feels like it’s running in circles.

• racing when unnecessary.

• and falling when when unwanted.

• “Mr. Choi, please correct if I’m wrong, but you intentionally put me as your marketing director because the last one left in terms of finding a better boss. And you replaced me easily after it, sure. And at once, by your side, I thought you had been the smartest man in the game but hell— you really are the dumbest CEO I know.”

• he grimaces before saying, “Were you really drunk just now or were you just trying to get your thoughts across the table without trying to hurt my feelings?”

• there’s fire in his eyes when he asks you.

• feeling torn between hating you and falling more for you than he expected to be.

• there’s a brief silence in you before you retort, “I might have been a little out of my comfort zone drinking those martini’s. But as of right now sir I’m pretty clear on the things I’m saying and the consequences they might have.”

• he’s never once doubted you.

• thought you were a diamond in the rough.

• always stood out.

• always knew how to get his attention.

• right now not being an exception.

• “Then tell me.” he sterns closer to you now that you’re both passed comfort level. “Since you’re so clear on things, what bothers you the most?”

• you stare at him.

• longingly.

• because you’ve spoken to San on more casual occasions than you think.

• more than just a boss in the past,

• this man used to be your friend.

• that though you two were boss and assistant,

• you two fell in love with each other without knowing.

• and here you thought he was just your plain office crush.

• “Maybe..” you pause to make sure you’re completely clear on your thoughts. “Knowing that I was falling for you when you weren’t for me? That.. maybe that’s what bothers me the most.”

• San’s torn again.

• but this time,

• between kissing you and telling you he’s falling for you too.

• “You know better than anyone, y/n, I don’t dwell on fickle romances.”

• your noses touch,

• and you think you can feel his heart beat against your chest.

• “But I stopped knowing you the moment you stopped knowing me.”

• he decides right then to kiss you first.

• wanting things to get cleared before they get past uncomfortable.

• you frown against his kiss.

• thinking it’s half hearted and unimpactful.

• while pushing him away you warn him by saying, “Don’t..”

• and now he feels desperate.

• like the women that pine over for him.

• the way he kind of does for you actually.

• “San, don’t do this because you feel sorry for me.”

• “I’m not.” he almost whines when you reject. “I want.. I want this. Y/n, you aren’t my assistant anymore.”

• you sigh, “I think we’ve made that statement understood by now.”

• “No, you don’t understand. I need you.” he corrects himself hands himself your hips. “My assistant can be many things to me. Helpful at work. Doing the work I should be doing for me too. You know that.”

• your lips taste like the martini’s.

• hoping you are what you say are when you say aren’t drunk.

• so his thoughts go across as clear as you say yours are to you.

• “Where are you going with this, Choi San?”

• “Coordinate me. Out of work.” he insists this time making sure you don’t get away. “No contract necessary. Just… I want you to coordinate me while we date. Pull my strings the way you did at work once before.”

• maybe you are drunk.

• that you’re hallucinating Choi San asking you on a date— multiple.

• “I’m not good at this settling down thing, y/n.” he takes your hands and interlaces it with his. “And you know better than anyone, how to fix my mistakes, don’t you?”

• you’ve always been his favorite.

• despite knowing you were replaced,

• you never did forget that.

• “And what’s my compensation for this look like, Mr. Choi?”

• San sighs in relief.

• also remembering that you were once not only his assistant,

• but the woman he only ever needed.

• “If it lasts long in both our systems, hopefully a ring.”

• now who could pass up that kind of promotion?

.

.

@atinybitofau

[jeromesxreader16]

Such A Joker (43)

Part 42 Here!!!

~o0o~

Jerome POV:

I open my eyes seeing nothing but cemented walls entrapping me. I run my hands along the towering stockades laughing. "Oh, you are incorrigible, but then again, you always were. Oh, wait. Or was that me? Sometimes I get so confused, I... I can't remember."

I look up at the camera and smile widely. "You didn't have to run away like that. I would never hurt you... Xander. I love you. I just know you'd be a good uncle to my future giggling phycos. Can't wait to see ya! You'll get to meet my doll! She's a sweetie, but be careful... She's one hell of a wild card. Did you think about me? I know that you did." I giggle and crawl up close to the camera giggling. "Oh, I'm gonna squeeze you until you pop!"

Jeremiah POV:

"Oh, I'm gonna squeeze you until you pop!" I shiver as Jerome chuckles evilly on the screen. I pour another glass of scotch and sigh. "Your sweetie. Your doll, huh?" I hum watching him entertain himself.

"Let me tell you a little about her, brother." I huff plopping in my seat. "She's the most breathtaking angel I've ever seen. Psychotic and beautiful. If she knew I was here, boy, she'd get really mad. Haven't been home to please the lady, you know how that is." He giggles making me clench my fist.

Does he know? Does he have the slightest clue I've cured (y/n), she's sane, and in my protection?

"Jer?" Her small voice echo's from the cemented halls. I turn off the monitors just in time as she walks into the office. She wasn't supposed to wake for 4 more hours. She was supposed to stay asleep until the job was done.

I smile seeing her half-lidded eyes, baggy shirt, and messy hair. "Come here, love." (Y/n) smiles grabbing my hand and sitting upon my lap.

"You're drinking?" She asks cuddling into my frame. I sigh looking at my drink. "I am." "Why? Are you stressed?" I brush her hair back kissing her head. "Jerome went to visit my office today. Killed a lot of my employees." She gazes down at me with sad eyes. "It's not your fault, Jer." I nod understanding.

"How was your nap?"

(Y/n) lifts her head and kisses my cheek. "I had a dream about you." "Yeah? Was I nominated engineer of the year?" "No. We got married, had a beautiful boy with red hair. He was extremely smart." My heart skips as a smile grows on my face. "You dreamt of that? With me?" "Is that a shocker?"

I cup her cheek in my hand and smile. "I just never predicted I would be as lucky to have you in my life." She leans up kissing me. "Well, Jeremiah Valeska, I'm here to stay." I chuckle basking at this moment.

"Sir, you have visitors pulling into the property range." (Y/n) huffs looking into my eyes. "You're always so busy." I brush her hair behind her ear smiling. "It looks like your father has come to visit," I say looking over to the screen from the outside camera. She gasps watching as the car pulls up and two men exit.

Jim POV:

I bang on the metal door sighing. "Have you heard from her anymore?" Harvey asks next to me. "She called telling me she was with her boyfriend." "And she's safe." I shrug fighting the thoughts of danger in my head. "She said she was." Harvey shrugs smiling. "Alright Partner. I just know she's like you. Reckless."

The door opens and a young blond stands to look at us. I flash my badge, "James Gordon here to see Xander Wilde."

~

She leads us down many long hallways full cemented. "So this whole joint's underground?" "Mr. Wilde values his privacy." "How long has he lived here?" "He finished construction six years ago."

She walks up to a door inserting a code. "Echo. 496."

"Welcome, Ms. Ecco." A robotic voice sounds out opening the door. "He'll see you now."

Harvey and I walk in seeing a man with his back turned. "Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Wilde." "I expected you might come, Captain." He turns around and my blood runs cold as the face of insanity looks into my eyes.

Harvey and I pull our guns out aiming it at Jerome.

"My God. There's two of them." Harvey gasps looking over the Valeska brother.

"Dad! Stop!" I look behind me and see my daughter. "(Y/n). What are you doing here? You told me you were with your-" My eyes avert from (y/n) and land on Xander. "Boyfriend."

Xander lets his lips slip into a tiny smile as he nervously looks at the gun. "May I put my hands down now, gentlemen?" I look over at (Y/n) confused. "Are you kidding me? Put your gun down!"

Harvey and I lower our guns as I stare at my daughter as she walks over and makes sure Xander is okay. "Apologies, Mr. Wilde.

You took us by surprise." He nods and smiles at my daughter. "That's understandable. It's happened before."

"You can call me Jeremiah. That's the name my mother gave me. You solved her murder, Captain Gordon. I owe you a debt of gratitude for that and for putting Jerome in Arkham, where he belongs." (Y/n) holds his hand in comfort as he explains. She's not fazed by him talking about what Jerome did. Has she finally let go and found security?

"He never mentioned you before."

"No, I suppose he wouldn't have. From the letters my mother sent me, he never spoke of me after I left."

"Left where?"

"The circus. They hid me away to protect me from him. See, we were always different, Jerome and I. From an early age, I showed a proficiency for maths and design, and Jerome, mainly the mutilation of alley cats. On my tenth birthday, he held a cake knife to my throat. A few weeks later, he lit my bed on fire. It was like living in a nightmare. I'm grateful he was never able to hurt (y/n). My mother knew eventually one day he would succeed, so one night, my uncle came to my room while Jerome slept, and told me that he was taking me away. I had no idea where, but I kissed my mother good-bye, told her I loved her, and I never saw her again."

"He took you to St. Ignatius."

"Got a new name, a new life. And I was finally able to live without fear. But in my heart, I knew one day Jerome would come for me."

"Well, that day is today, pops," Harvey said walking closer.

"What do you mean, Harv?" (Y/n) asks looping her arm with Jerimiah.

I stand closer, explaining. "We have reason to believe Jerome knows where you are. (Y/n), he's already been by your apartment, and now with you here you're in even more danger. We need to move you both to a safe location until we can apprehend him."

Jeremiah shakes his head holding my daughter close. "That won't be necessary, gentlemen. I've spent the bulk of my life preparing for this eventuality. I am the safest here in my home. I can keep (y/n) safer than any secretive location in Gotham." (Y/n) nods looking at us. "He's right, dad. I feel safer here with Jeremiah than the GCPD."

"Not anymore. Jerome knows the name of your proxy. He got it from your boss just before he executed him."

"I heard about Jerome visiting Allen Hayes. It's tragic, but the proxy's name I gave to Allen was a fake."

(Y/n) POV:

As Jeremiah speaks his arm tightens around me causing me to look up at him confused. Why is he so tense?

"You're lying." It hits me as my father says it. I remove myself from his side looking up at him. "I beg your pardon?" I narrow my eyes at him crossing my arms. A liar knows a liar when they see one.

"Jer? What are you hiding?" As his eyes meet mine I see the panic living in them. What has he done? "Jeremiah. Honey, is there something you want to tell me?" He reaches out for me with a shaky hand. "N-no, love. Your father is just intimidating." I hum patting his chest.

Jim and Harvey walk around the small office scanning over the many things scattered over the desk.

"(Y/n). Come here, please." I walk over to my dad sitting on the desk facing away from Jerimiah. "Yeah?" "Why the hell didn't you tell me before?" I roll my eyes sighing, "He's fine. Lord, he can't even hurt a fly." "Besides the point, overprotective father, we get it! Now, let's dig, anything weird about him? Something he could be hiding?" I look back over to Jeremiah as he paces his office fixing his glasses each time they fall to the bridge of his nose.

"He said he's intimidated by you."

"And you believe that?" I scoff lowering my voice. "Of course not."

"Yeah, there's something about this guy that's fishy."

"What about the security cameras outside." "What about them, dad?" "They were turned on, (y/n)." I look over my should looking at the bank screens of the monitors.

"Jeremiah, how come the monitors are off if the cameras are recording?" My dad asks walking closer to Jeremiah as Harvey walks near the monitors.

"I don't see why that's any of your concern, Mr. Gordon. Now, if you excuse me, I'm a very busy man." Jeremiah says stuffing his hands in his pockets. Harvey touches buttons on the monitors trying to find the right on.

"Please don't touch that."

I stand and walk over hitting the small red button causing the TVs to light up with life. "That's very sensitive equipment."

The screens clear and as the pixels match, I cover my mouth locking my eyes onto the screen. Jerome stands in a small room performing yoga. He looks up at the camera and waves causing me to shutter. I turn to Jerimiah with tears brimming my eyes.

"Oh, yeah. I'd say that's pretty damn sensitive." Harvey says watching Jerome.

I storm the short distance to Jeremiah glaring at him. "Why would you do this?" I sneer at him. He closes his eyes with his head leaning towards the floor. "(y/n). I wanted you safe." "And you think by bringing him closer to me was going to keep me safe?"

Jerome's giggle causes me to focus on him. "You know, brother, it has been a while since I've seen my sweets. Say, you wouldn't be keeping her from me, would ya?" My father glares at the screen shaking his head.

"You need to take us to your brother."

"I can't do that."

"What if he's nuttier than the other one?" "Harvey!" "I'm nothing like Jerome."

"You want me to put you in a cell next to his with zero visitation? Because that is where this is heading!" "Dad, stop! Calm down!" I say grabbing my hair in stress.

"And then what, Captain Gordon? You couldn't hold him. Arkham couldn't. I can. And I will make sure Jerome never escapes again. I am making sure he never hurts (y/n) again!"

"Jeremiah, I am thankful for that, but that's not going to work. Jerome comes with us, and if you want to make this easier on yourself, I suggest you stay the hell out of the way." I push myself between my father and Jerimiah. "I get this is a big deal, but this isn't the way to-"

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The loonies are outside."

Harvey points at the monitors showing Scarcrow, Jervis, and Ecco following blindly.

Jeremiah rushes to the screens panicking. "No. No. How'd they find me?"

"They must have followed Jerome."

The lights shut off leaving us in a blood-red hue from the emergency lights. Jeremiah grabs my hand pulling me close to his side.

"We need to move, now. Is there another way out of here?" "Yes, but we-" "You can't leave, Ecco!" I cry in a panic. "The loonies will use her against us, (y/n)!" I shake my head removing myself from Jerimiah's hold. "No. She's my friend and has done so much for me. I'm not letting her die." My father nods placing a hand on my shoulder.

"She's devoted her life to helping Jerimiah. She's too important, dad." He nods looking at Jeremiah and I. "We get you two out first,

then we can come back for her. Deal?" I nod pulling Jeremiah out into the halls.

"As a child, I was obsessed with labyrinths, so I designed my house like one." My dad and Harvey follow close behind. "You mean this place is a maze?" Jeremiah nods leading the way.

"Easy enough to get in; (y/n) and I are the only ones who know the way out. Stay close to me."

We pass another Conor as the maze twists. "The maze is built on a hundred acres. There are 73 dead ends. I once invited the top

maze designers in the country to try to solve it... one did. It took him three days." "Then how did I do it in an hour?" I giggle jogging ahead.

As I round a wall I see Ecco walking towards me. "Ecco! You're alright!" She grabs my neck and slams me against the wall. "Ec- Stop!" I gasp as she clenches my airway shut.

I kneed her in the stomach pushing her away. "Alright. I can play." She lunges at me causing me to doge and swipe her legs knocking her to the ground. She stands up taking me down to the ground.

"Ecco. What are you doing?" Jeremiah rushes as he sees me on the ground.

"Hey, hey, hey, she's hypnotized."

Ecco charges towards him and knocks Jerimiah down. "E-Ecco, it's me. It's me. Ow!" I stand up punching her in the face and knocking her down once more. Jeremiah looks at me surprised. "I didn't know you could do that, love." I laugh breathlessly turning to him quickly as Ecco fights off my dad and Harvey.

I help Jeremiah up but am pushed into the wall as Ecco grabs him and walks in down the hall away from us. "Gordon! Help!"

"Dad!" I yell looking after them. "Come on."

Jeremiah POV:

"Ecco, please. Where are you taking me? (Y/n) will be alone!"

"I'm taking you to Jerome." He speaks in a monotone voice gripping my arms. "No. He'll do horrible things to me. Ecco..."

"Stop!" Detective Bullock yells charging Ecco. Harvey falls and out of nowhere (Y/n) comes from behind the wall pushing Ecco and knocking her out.

I have to say... It was hot!

"Come on!" I grab (y/n) hand and run towards the exit fearful of the end. "Jeremiah, what are you going to do?" He shakes his head breathing heavily. "I don't care. I just want to get you to-"

"Hello, brother." Jerome pops out in front of Jeremiah halting our tracks. Jeremiah blocks my frame holding my wrist tightly. I peer at Jerome with wide eyes. His eyes meet mine and he smirks growing a giggle. "There you are, dollface. I've been searching for you too. Looks like I killed two birds with one stone, huh?" "Jerome I-"

Jerome yanks my arm bringing me close to him. He holds my waist and smiles down at me. "I've missed you." He leans down planting a passionate kiss upon my lips before throwing me behind him. "Whoa! More of that later!" He chuckles before turning back to his brother who is watching my every move with growing worry and rage.

"So, how ya been? Oh, you look great! To think I used to be the handsome one, right? I see you've been taking care of my doll here... Not cool bro." Jerome glares at Jeremiah.

Jeremiah shutters looking down. "How'd you find your way through the maze?"

"Oh, bro, we might not look the same anymore, but we still think the same. Exhibit A!" Jerome gestures to me cackling. "Plus, you used to draw those stupid things all the time as a kid. I paid attention to."

Jerome throws his head back sighing. "I've been waiting for this moment for 15 years. Ever since you ran away in the middle of the night, like a coward."

"You're insane." Jeremiah states.

"And I tried telling Mom, but she didn't want to listen to me. You blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life. But the truth is, Jerome, you were born bad."

Jerome turns to me smirking. "Why the long face, love? Don't worry our little ones won't be as he so rudely says born bad." He pinches my cheek gazing at me with love. My stomach churns as I fight all the past urges to let go of my responsibilities and be with him again, but I couldn't do that the Jer.

Could I?

"So that's why you made her think that I tried to kill you?"

I look over Jerome's shoulder watching as Jeremiah grew more nervous.

He wouldn't have lied about that, right? His own brother?

"What was it again? What was it? I put a blade to your throat. No, no, no, no, no. I tried to... light you on fire!"

"We both know you wanted to!" "Yeah, that was a funny story, wasn't it?" Jerome sneers at his brother. I step out glaring at Jeremiah. "So you did lie to me. You lied about everything." "N-no, (y/n). Jerome did! He's keeping you locked under his belt! He made you think you were crazy for seeing me! Can't you see he doesn't love you as much as I do? I'm trying to protect you!" He cries out reaching for me, but I pull away shaking my head.

"Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that, but... but I didn't have a choice, and I was right. You killed our mother."

"She did deserve it though. Didn't she, (y/n)? You saw how horrible she was. After that whore hid you away, she gave up on me. Poisoned by your stories. You turned everyone I ever loved it against me. Living proof right here!" Jerom points to me.

I glare at Jeremiah and stand in front of him. "(Y/n)-" I slap him across the face making Jerome laugh and hold me back. "You used me! You only wanted me so you could get back at Jerome! How could you play with my feelings like this? Make me feel like I was crazy? Like I was alone?"

"Alright, firecracker, cool it down! We can talk about punishments later." He pushed me behind him facing Jeremiah again. "Yeah, I guess it's like what they say. We all could go insane with just one bad day. I guess with you, it's more like one bad spray. You'll see."

"What are you gonna do to me, Jerome?"

"Come on. I'm gonna kill you. Of course. But, first, I'm gonna drive you mad. But don't worry, you won't be alone. All of Gotham will be joining you, too. I'll be keeping (y/n) safe, don't worry."

"No, Jerome, Please, let her go and-"

"Must go! Must go! They're after me and the Scarecrow. Sprint with us Ms. Gordon!" Jervis rushes past us grabbing me and pulling me down the hall with them.

"(Y/n)! No!"

As we all jump into a car I can't help but release my pent up laughter. I look over, seeing the other two watch me confused. "Sorry gentlemen. I've had a sane few months. Have to get back into the swing of this!" I push all my emotions of pain and anger away as Jerome sprints towards us.

"Ah, what a night, huh?" He giggles holding me. "What do you say, doll? How about we make this night unforgettable?" I smile at his crazed eyes feeling the light shine within me.

How can I love two men who cause me to act like two separate people?

"I've missed you, Jerome." He cups my cheeks as we drive like madmen down the road. "I sure hope so, (y/n), because you're not leaving me until my end." I lean in sealing the deal with a kiss. "Until the end, Jerome."

[missblissy]

Can I request Alastor, Katie Killjoy, Tom, and Sir Pentious's reaction to having a small cute boyfriend who easily gets flustered and is clumsy and stutters a lot?

((Thank you for sending in this ask!! It’s my first time writing for a couple of these characters so pls forgive me if they seem off!! I will improve with time QuQ))

Alastor: 

Aren’t you just the cutest god damn thing? Alastor couldn’t help but love to fluster you up. The way your cheeks turned a bright red and your words got cluttered together? Oh, how very entertaining.

It didn’t help that you were shorter than him, it only made it easier to look down at you with a smug grin, eating up those rosy red cheeks.

“Red is a very handsome color on you, my love,” He’d tease often. 

You were a little clumsy, so it was a good thing Alastor was always there to catch you should you trip walking on a flat surface. 

A smooth recovery as Alastor would quickly hook your arm with his and catch you, “Be careful, sweetheart, you don’t want to ruin that face of yours when I can do that for you~” Ugh! He’s just too good! You couldn’t stop the blush from rising to your cheeks and the words from stuttering out of your lips. 

Whenever you got stuck on a word, Alastor would quickly finish your sentence. How did he always know what you were thinking?

You loved that he took the time to spoil you in private. Sure he was a teasing asshole in public, but behind closed doors, he was more of a smooth-talking demon who wanted nothing more than to smother you with kisses and love bites. 

Katie:

She loved that you’re small than her. She finds it utterly adorable. She takes a lot of pride in the way she looks, and she likes that you make her look good.

Though she loves you, that doesn’t save you from her temper when she’s angry. She’s flirtatious in a mean why, “Cat got your tongue, sweetie? Maybe I’ll get it next time~” 

You love that however mean and cranky she gets, there is a hidden softy inside. Katie puts up a strong wall but you can see when she struggles and honestly? She’s glad you can, it feels good that she can let her guard down around you.

When you trip she won’t catch you when you fall. Katie would rather scoff and giggle first, then help you up, “Don’t be so clumsy, dummy. I’m not going to keep picking you up if you keep falling over.” That’s a lie, she always will, but she doesn’t want you to know that. 

Whenever she snaps at you she always apologizes afterward, “Sorry... You just know how stressful everything is. I didn’t mean it.” 

She may make a few jokes about you. About how short you are, the way you talk and seem to be a bit of an airhead but you know she’s just teasing to make your cheeks flushed. She loves that. 

Tom:

Man... You thought you were easily flustered? Think again. Tom is probably the biggest perv around and he lives for reactions. He’s gonna torture you relentlessly with dirty words, sexy and dangerous promises and tempting you with intoxicating situations. 

Tom is already a short person as it is, so you stand only a few inches under him. Though he does enjoy those few inches he has on you, it makes it easier to look down at that pretty red face. 

He’s very nice though, he’s always there to help you back up when you trip or drop something. If you ever get hurt do to your clumsiness, Tom is there to kiss it better and talk sweet nothing to you just to make you smile again.

Ironically, Tom has a weird stuttering fetish?? He honestly just can’t get enough of your choked up words. He finds it cute and tempting at the same time. You’d expect nothing less from him, honestly. 

Sir Pentious: 

If you ordered a clinging cold-blooded reptile, then Sir Pentious is your man. He loves every bit of you. He finds you utterly cute and adorable. He doesn’t tease you a whole lot about anything. Not your clumsiness, the way you stutter or get redder than a tomato when flustered. 

Instead, he just compliments you, “You look ravishing today!” and tells you how much he loves you, “From head to toe, you’re simply perfect! I can’t take my eyes off you,” 

Now, what happens when your easily flustered... and your boyfriend is easily flustered too? Good things, fortunately. Sure there is an awkward silence for a few seconds, but then the next thing you know the two of you are laughing together, red-faced and swimming in love and adoration. 

He catches you a lot with his tail whenever you slip or trip. Same goes for anything that you may drop. He’s quick and agile and always comes to the rescue if he’s close enough. He doesn’t tease you though for being clumsy, he’s just worried that you could have gotten hurt, “Darling, please, watch were you S-s-step. What happens if you get hurt?” 

Though there is one way that Pentious makes you blush hotter than a thousand suns. And that's when you wake up in the morning to see him completely and totally entangled around you. He’d be sleeping away but goddammit it, he looked so cute. His scales glistened in the morning light as you watched him lully in and out of his dreams.

[sevenringsblingbling]

Sienna and Colson part 6

Word Count: 2,372

@creatureofthen1ght-v3 <3

When I walked through the door I was so nervous. I had no idea what to expect. It was dimly lit and there were only a few people at the bar, a couple sitting down at one of the tables. I was greeted by one of the waiters. “Hello ma'am. He’s been waiting on you. Please come this way.” I followed behind him. My body was filled with so much excitement and I was just a hot mess on the inside. I still managed to hold it all together doing my catwalk not sure if he could see me or not but I wasn't going to fold in front of him. If he wanted me back he would have to prove himself. The further we walked back the dimmer the lights got. This was so romantic. Then I finally laid eyes on him. I could've passed out right there! He stood up and by this time I was sure my body was in a small puddle. 

“Hi.” Colson bit his lip not sure what to say to break the ice after all they had not spoken in weeks. There Sienna was looking like a goddess in an all black dress and the jewelry he bought for her. “Wow she's absolutely stunning.” He thought to himself. “Hello Colson.” She sat down and he pushed her chair in. Sienna had to play tough but on the inside she just wanted to push all this shit off the table and ride him into the sunset. “Damnn he’s fucking hot.” She thought. “Thanks for coming through. I've been missing you.” He explained pouring her some wine into a glass. He cleared his throat. “You look beautiful by the way. You like the necklace? I picked it out myself.” Sie looked down at it. “Thank you, it's beautiful. You're looking pretty handsome yourself.” Who was she kidding he was fucking beautiful like some type of European model all tall and handsome. Sie wanted him bad but had to hold it together. 

“So how’ve you been holding up?” I picked up the wine glass taking a sip. I wanted to down the whole thing but had to play it cool. “Just been stressing honestly. It’s been rough without you.” I let out a “mhm.” “So rough that you couldn't pick up the phone and call me or at least text?” His eyes got wide almost as if he wasn't expecting that. “I didn’t think you would want anything to do with me after I blew up on you and honestly I couldn't blame you.” Just then a waiter came with our food. “The chicken enchiladas for you ma'am and the steak fajitas for you sir.” The food smelled so good. Colson thanked the waiter. “So like I was saying I didn't blame you for checking out.” “So what changed? I mean why now all of a sudden?” I bite into my food waiting for his response. “Well I realized that I need you. I mean no matter what we go through I want you by my side. Things just haven't been the same without you.”

“I've been trying to get myself together ya know.” I looked over at him. Trying to find my words. “I've been clean since the day we had that fight. I knew I couldn't live that life much longer. It hasn't been easy but here I am clean and sober. Well except for this wine.” I downed the rest of it. “I’m so fucking proud of you and you look amazing by the way.” I nodded in agreement. “Look Sien I want to ask you something important and I hope your answer is yes because this means a lot to me and I want you with me.” He took a shot of what I think was vodka. “Well things have been so crazy and I think a fresh start would help me out of this funk. So I've been thinking and this has been on my mind for awhile now and seeing you here with me just confirmed that I need to do this for my sake and yours.” 

He took a deep breath. “Move to Phoenix with me.” There were a few seconds of awkward silence. I could’ve died right then and there. Phoenix was a big decision to make. So many thoughts ran through my head. “Wow, what? Phoenix? I..why Phoenix out of all the places?” I was stammered. “I need to get away from the bullshit and this way I'm still somewhat close to work but not that close and I can just get a fresh start. Look I’m not moving right away or anything there’s still a lot to take care of but by next year I just want to be the fuck out of L.A. Please say yes.” I shook my head in disbelief. He couldn't expect me to just uproot my whole life to a place I've never been. “I’m glad that you've made a decision to better yourself but Colson I don’t know anybody in Phoenix. I don’t know the first thing about Phoenix,,,well except for it’s hot but other than that.” I shrugged my shoulders. “You don’t know anybody here either. I took a trip to Phoenix just to have a look around and it's not bad at all. You wouldn’t miss this place trust me.” “Well.” I downed more wine until the glass was empty. “This is a big decision..I don't know.” 

“Okay I see you're going to need a little more convincing. Boom let's take a trip out there together after the new year. If you still don't like it then I won’t bring it up again. Will you at least do that?” I nodded. There's no harm in at least taking a trip. “Yeah we can go. Colson I don't mean to rain on your parade but are you sure this is what you want? What about your brothers?  What about work? This all just seems like so much to deal with.” He reassured me. “Yes this a big step but I need this. Everything will work itself out.” I honestly wasn't convinced of this whole Phoenix situation. I really wanted everything to work out but damn Phoenix seemed so far away. 

Other than the talk of moving dinner was good. Desert was a chocolate volcano cake with raspberries inside. “Wow Mr. Baker you sure picked out one hell of a menu for us.” I licked the rest of the chocolate off my spoon. He just licked his lips. “Well a little lady’s gotta eat but for real..” He got in closer whispering. “I want to eat you.” I blushed, having sex was really not in the plan for tonight but I did wax so perhaps subconsciously I did want to fuck him. I hadn't had sex with anyone other than him and my two fingers wernt cutting it. “Let’s go to that hotel down the street and see what happens. We could watch a movie order room service and relax.” “Wait who says I’m fucking you?” “Who said anything about sex? Just sit on my face and let me do all the work.” He brought up my hand and kissed it looking deep into my eyes. I couldn't turn down an offer like that.

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There we were in a hotel suite. I took off that dress and put on a fluffy bathrobe. Even though the dress was beautiful it was cutting off my circulation. We laid on the bed my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He hadn’t tried anything so far, neither had I but I wanted to see where his mind was. I kept my bra and panties on as a lil peek a boo show so whenever I’d reach for something the robe would slip open ever so slightly. “Sie your so fucking perfect. I want you baby.” He kissed me and a makeout session ensued. I remember his breath tasting like chocolate, I just loved that. His hand reached down into the waistband of my undies and started playing with my clit. I was so turned on I didn't want him to stop. “Fuck, baby you’re so wet.” Then he started fingering me. His rings were cold inside of me. He had me like puddy in his hand literally. I closed my eyes just enjoying the feeling moaning and whimpering underneath him.

Then I felt him kissing down my stomach, removing my panties and getting to work. Within the first five or so minutes I was already cumming. I was just a hot mess all thanks to this tall ass daddy. I gripped the back of his head, massaging his scalp. “Oh baby now I see why you've got that long ass tongue.” He laughed. “Mm I’m glad you like it. You taste like strawberries too. I haven't tasted you in so long.” He licked my slit working his tongue up to my sensitive clit. “God damn I’m gonna cum again.” He put two fingers inside at the same time. “Yes baby cum all over my face.” Just then I exploded. I must've lost consciousness because when I came to he was tongue kissing me. “Mm little sleeping beauty is up now. That was sexy as a motherfucker baby. We need to try that again.” “What happened? How long have I been out?” “Well you squirted on my face, which I loved by the way and passed out for a good ten seconds.” Oh my, I was so embarrassed. I wanted to hide my face. “Hey don’t be embarrassed it was fucking sexy and I know you haven't had a good orgasm in a while so it was perfect.” 

“Now I need to give you a little something.” I kissed his stomach stopping a few times to kiss his tattoos. “Wait I want you on your hands and knees.” “Um okay baby whatever you want.” I dropped down to my knees waiting for further instructions. “Sien you look so fucking sexy like that I just want to shove my dick down your throat.” I put my hand on the waistband of his boxers. “Well do it then.” “Walk over to the couch and crawl over to me nice and slow like a sexy cat and put those heels back on.”

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I crawled over to him doing my best impersonation of a sexy cat. “Purr like a kitten.” He wasn't asking this was more a demand. I wasn't exactly sure how to purr like a kitten so it just came out sounding like a motorboat. Hey, I tried my best. When I got near his feet and looked up at him all 6’4 inches I just wanted him in every hole pounding away at my mouth and cunt. He patted my head as I unbuckled his pants. “Stick your tongue out and close your eyes.” Then I felt his dickhead tap on the tip of my tongue a few times. He was so warm and that precum tasted amazing. Fuck, I want him now. “Meow like a kitten for me.” This was something new. Okay roleplay. “Meowww.” “This is so fucking hot, Say your a dirty little slut.” “I’m a dirty little slut daddy.” I looked up at him and licked his shaft. “Mm very good.” His eyes rolled around caressing my head. “Fuck I’m close already.” He let out a laugh. “I want some milk down my throat daddy.” I spit on the head and put his beautiful dick in my mouth. “Oh fuck. Sien...wait..geez god damn girl.” I stopped and smirked up at him. Yes, I am the blowjob queen. Pops collar. He was panting through his words. 

He practically threw me on the bed too impatient to do anything else and stuck all eight inches in at once. I let out a gasp. Not giving me time to adjust. Hello sir! I haven't had sex in weeks give my pussy time to get ready! “You feel so fucking good Sien. You’re fucking wet hmm.” His dick felt so good pounding me like a little whore. I was a whore, his whore. “Deeper daddy. Fuck me like one of your little sluts please.” I moaned lost in ecstasy not sure where the fuck that came from but I was so in the moment. “Alright baby lay down on your stomach.” It took a mere seconds for me to change positions. He ran his dick over my asshole which scared me. He must've felt me tense up because he laughed and moved it down over my slit and rammed himself inside of me and fucked me harder and faster. By this time I had already lost count of how many times I had cum. Perhaps four or five? “Ow oh fuck ow ow Col.” His dick was so deep it was starting to hit my cervix which was sweet pain. He ignored my pleas and kept pounding. 

“Fuck Sien you've got the sweetest pussy, god damn.” He moaned in my right ear. “You know what would make daddy happy? He grabbed my neck gently and whispered “I want another woman to taste your pussy while I fuck your throat.” I nodded. That does sound hot as fuck but actually doing something like that I couldn't be sober. He pulled out and nudged his dick on my asshole. I started to protest “No,,” “Shh shh all my sluts take it in the ass like a good girl.” Love drunk, I agreed. Once he got the head in it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. He kept it slow which helped tremendously. I didn't feel either way about it but I wanted to make him happy “You like that ass?” I looked back at him. He slapped my ass and yanked it. “Fuck yes. Baby I'm gonna cum soon. Can I cum in your ass?” I shook my head no. Now that's where I draw the line. He pulled out and came all over my asscheeks. “Fuck! Fuck! Yesss.” It was hot and sticky. Just how like like it. Damn I wanted to swallow all those yummy babies. Oh well next time. Here I was his lil toaster struddle.

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A/N: Its a double feature!! omg im so excited to see what new adventures await Sien and Col (TWO FREAKS LOL). do yall think she’ll like Phoenix? Also shes sober now (thank goodness) i just hope she doesnt relaspe anywhooooo i truly hope that you all enjoy both chapters. love love love love love love love lol so much love

[linyi-is-dreaming]

Lost Feather - 05

EXO Chanyeol x Y/N

Summary: Y/N was a guardian angel for a long time. She is secretly in love with another guardian angel whose name is Park Chanyeol. When Chanyeol was not paying attention to the woman he was supposed to take care of, everything went badly bad. The one he should have had protected killed Y/N’s one. The judge blamed Y/N for not taking well care of the one she should have had protected. Even though it has been Chanyeol’s fault. He was the one who never went to his boss to tell him that she should not be protected by anybody as she seems to be a very evil person. Y/N on the other hand took the blame and with that she lost all her power. The most painful was the removal of her wings. Now, that she lives a normal life as a punishment, she tries her best to handle everything as well as she can but the unexpected always happens when you least expect it. As she expects her new assistant, she finds Chanyeol in her office instead. Will she be able to forget to forget him or is she ready to move on?

CHAPTER 05

Junmyeon could not be any gladder as his shift is finally coming to an end. Working as a vet is stressful enough most of the time, even without having Chanyeol around. It was even harder for him as he had to remind himself that he is the only one who can see Chanyeol. Even when Chanyeol behaves mischievous every single time. Taking care of the animals whilst listening to their owners and having to make sure that Chanyeol is not doing anything to provoke the animals, has turned out to be even harder than he had imagined it to be. Only a wave with his arm in exhaustion is possible for Junmyeon, as he sees his receptionist coming into the exam room. Her jacket and her purse are in one hand as she waves back with the free hand of hers. Her face shows compassion as she takes a second to look at him before she starts to speak. 

“Mister Kim? Are you alright?”, she asks worried. 

“Uhm... Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”, he answers as he slides down on his chair a little more. “It has been a very busy day.” She nods at his words but his words are not really giving her the feeling of it being the truth. 

“Mister Kim, may I can ask you something?”, she wonders. Normally, she would keep her questions strictly business, but she could not help but wonder, if her boss is truly doing okay. Especially, as some people talked with her about his weird behavior today. They mentioned that he looked at a wall or a chair with a facial expression that parents would give their kids if they are not able to scold them loudly in that moment.  The weird behavior before their shift started, also stayed on her mind as she noticed that there was no phone near Junmyeon when he meant he was talking to someone on the phone. 

“Of course. Is something wrong?” She licks her lips nervously as she wonders if it would be okay for her to ask him what she is about to ask. For a moment, she says nothing as she takes a deep breath. Her actions are making Junmyeon nervous even though he is trying to not let it show. 

“Not directly. I mean, I know you are a very hard-working young man, but is something currently wrong? I do not mean to step on your feet with asking you this, but I am getting worried about you.”, his receptionist explains. 

“Yes!”, Chanyeol cheers as he leans his elbows painfully on Junmyeon shoulders. “She thinks you have gone insane. Tsk, you only have one employee and she thinks you are crazy. No wonder by your pale skin.” It takes a lot of willpower for him to not jump up just to throw a 'my face says it all'-look at Chanyeol. A deep long breath escapes Junmyeon’s lips as he moves his upper body to feel less pain which is caused from the elbows of Chanyeol. 

“Sir, your face... It looks like you are in pain. Are you alright?” Junmyeon nods as he leans forward quickly. As Junmyeon moves his body forward, Chanyeol loses his hold and trips to the side. Even though he tries to grab onto the chair, he misses the arm of the chair as well as Junmyeon’s arm. With the wind that Chanyeol body’s is producing through the small fall, a few sheets on Junmyeon’s table start to move. “Mister Kim, maybe you should walk away from your desk for a moment and just go home to rest.” 

“Nothing to worry about.”, Junmyeon says as he looks at Chanyeol who is just getting back on his feet. “It is nice to know that you are worried about me but I can promise you, I am doing just fine. I am just a little sleep deprived.” 

“Damn! I hit my head...”, Chanyeol announces loudly as he gets up. “That hurts! How can it hurt so bad? I should be immune to pain...” 

“Ugh, a spider!”, Junmyeon states as he steps with full force on Chanyeol toes. 

“Argh! Did you lose your mind? Is that some kind of revenge? My head hurts enough on its own, no need to step on my foot! What the hell is wrong with you?”, Chanyeol wonders as he pushes Junmyeon’s foot off of him. “That hurt even more!” A small laughter escapes Junmyeon’s lips as he watches Chanyeol checking on his foot. The worries in his employee’s face started to become more irritated than worried as she watches him laughing whilst his eyes look towards the floor where the spider was meant to be. As Junmyeon notices the changes on her face, he clears his throat and looks at her with a neutral facial expression again. 

“Like I said. I am only a little sleep deprived. A few hours of sleep and I will be doing just as good as I usually would.” 

“If you say so, Mister Kim. Have a nice evening!”, she tells him slowly with a smile as she leaves his room. Junmyeon hurries to the door to have a better possibility to hear her locking the front door. As he hears her locking the door, he turns back towards his office with a darken face expression. 

“What were you thinking?”, Chanyeol scolds as soon as Junmyeon turns around. 

“That was quick! Did you not just stand over there?” 

“I am in front of you now or am I not? So, how does it matter how fast I got to where?” 

“Good point.”, Junmyeon confesses as another sigh leaves his lips. “If you do this to me again, I promise I will flip out on you!” 

“What are you talking about? You stepped on my foot, if I am allowed to remind you on that.” 

“Every single damn thing that you have done today, Chanyeol! I am talking about every little thing that you have done all day long. Every single annoyance that you see as an alright thing to do, is driving me crazy.” 

“Aww, is the vet angry?”, Chanyeol asks teasingly. The longer Chanyeol laughs, the less happy does Junmyeon look like. The narrowed eyebrows and the darken eyes were already strongly visible but now he can even see the wrinkles on Junmyeon’s forehead. The laughter of Chanyeol is starting to disappear as he does not want to anger him a lot more. 

“You are really about to make me literally crazy, huh?” 

“Come on! It was fun. Two dogs have almost bitten you and the most cats in here wanted to rip off you face. Such a thankful job you’ve got there.” 

“Whatever. I do not have the time for a coffee-talk.”, Junmyeon says as he grabs his shirt from his bag. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To my patient’s home.” 

“To a patient? I almost thought you would go on a date...” 

“No. I mean yes. Yes, I have to drive to a patient home and not to a date.”, Junmyeon says as he puts on the t-shirt from his bag that he hid beneath his table. “I have to check on an animal and I have talk with its owner about a solution that I have found.”, Junmyeon explains as he packs his previously worn t-shirt into the bag. 

“Are you going to Y/N?” A long deep breath leaves Junmyeon’s lips once more as he stops in front of Chanyeol. 

“Wherever I go, please for the love of god, do not follow me.” When Junmyeon sees Chanyeol nodding with his hands up, he decides to get to the car before Chanyeol might follow. Chanyeol watches him leave as he looks up to the ceiling. 

“You might not want me there, but you can’t stop me from going there.”, he says calmly to himself with a smirk on his face. 

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ 

“Yes, I have a solution and I think you will be okay with that.”, Junmyeon explains on his phone as he closes his eyes for a moment to give them some rest. “Y/N, one more thing. Is it okay if I come over to check on the cat? No, you do not have come to the clinic. I am already in my car. Nonsense, that is a part of my job. Okay, I see you then.” As the phone call ends, he moves his arm to the passenger seat to drop his phone without looking to the passenger seat but before he can drop his phone, somebody grabs his wrist. “Argh!”, Junmyeon screams in fear. It took him a few seconds to notice that the hand on his wrist belongs to Chanyeol. 

“What are you screaming for?”, Chanyeol wonders amused. “Look at that woman. What must she have been thinking when she sees you screaming in the car at nothing?” Carefully, Junmyeon looks around to see how many people might have witnessed the situation. “Embarrassing... Isn’t it? Huh, even her baby is looking in your direction.” Embarrassed, Junmyeon lowers his head. As the urge to get away from the parking lot grows within him, he turns the key to start the motor.  As he drives off, he looks repeatedly at Chanyeol who is starring out of the window. 

“What are you smiling for?” 

“I just think it is funny.” 

“Everything is a joke to you... Typical you.” 

“Hey, not my fault if you do not even lock a car.” 

“You teleported yourself into my car! If I had locked it, it would have not helped much.” 

“I have not seeing you so angry since... Oh wow, that is long ago.”, Chanyeol comments as he realizes that he cannot even remember a situation in which Junmyeon had been angry at anything. 

“Have you not seen my facial expression all day?”, Junmyeon asks as he points at his own face. “What the hell do you want from me?” 

“I already told you. Be the messenger between me and Y/N.”

“I can’t do that.” 

“You can.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No. I can’t help you.”, he repeats slowly. 

“Yes, you can and you will.” Carefully, Junmyeon stops the car at the line in front of the red traffic light. 

“For the last time, no! Stop annoying the hell out of me. Just stop asking me to help you! Sorry, but if you need help, find someone who could help you.” 

“Who? There is only you.” “Just shut up!” 

“Make me then.” 

“Chanyeol!” 

“Oh, oh. That driver looks madly at you.” Chanyeol says as he points at the car behind him. “You should have not screamed at him...” As Junmyeon looks out the window to see what Chanyeol is talking about, he can see a big guy getting out of his car. This guy would definitely fit the type of drivers you do not want to mess with. “Oh, he is getting out of the car now. Junmyeon, I hope you got some ice at home. You will need it when he is done with you.” 

“I only screamed at you!”, Junmyeon explains as he sees the man walking to the back of Junmyeon’s car. “Make sure, you are protecting me for whatever will come next!” 

“What do you-” Chanyeol stops to speak in the middle of his question immediately as he realizes that Junmyeon is starting to drive over the cross road by red light. “Junmyeon! Dude! You are about to kill yourself!”, Chanyeol screams as he tries to grab onto whatever he could grab. 

“I said protect me, not scream at me! What are you holding on for?” 

“Stop yelling at me too! Do you want to die? Do you have a death wish?” Junmyeon starts to laugh as he made it safely over the cross road. “What is so damn funny?” 

“Am I not allowed to laugh?” 

“You are more human than angel. Shouldn’t you be at least more careful?” 

“You have no clue what I am, do you?” 

“I asked you, but you did not answer me...” 

“You still remember the nine orders of angels?” 

“I know my spot on it. Why?” Chanyeol eyes widen as he continues to look out the windshield. “Wait a minute.”, Chanyeol says as he looks at the grinning face of Junmyeon. “Did you...? No way!” 

“Uhm, yes and hell yeah!” 

“When did you become number eight?” 

“First of all, not yet. At least not officially, but I am damn close. They already informed me that it might happen soon.” Chanyeol’s eyes narrow as he stares holes into Junmyeon’s head. “Are you speechless or is there another reason that you look at me the way you do?” 

“I thought you meant you already are...” 

“I am in the testing phase. If I am doing well, I will be on rank eight and you will not destroy my chance, you got me?” 

“I already thought they kicked you out as you are working like a human...” 

“That is the damn test phase.” 

“If that is the test phase, why are you not allowed to use your powers?” 

“Chanyeol, that is part of the test! It is to see how long we can last without our powers.” 

“But those we know never returned after the testing phase...” 

“They had other plans than to come back and be on rank eight probably.”, Junmyeon explains. “But that is not the point. The point is that I could destroy my chances by helping you and your little love spark.” 

“Don’t call her that.”, Chanyeol says annoyed. “Y/N has a name.” 

“I can’t believe that you two are finally hitting it off. How long did it actually take you? It feels like forever that you said that the two of you will be an official thing one day.” 

“I think it took me like twelve years to even speak to her.” Amused, Junmyeon shakes his head to the left and right. 

“Since when do you know that you are in love with her?”, Junmyeon wonders as he sees the smile on Chanyeol’s face. 

“By all honesty, when she learned how to use her wings. I stalked her a little because I did not want to miss her smile.”, he explains with an even brighter smile on his face. “Everywhere she was, I was hiding behind something just to watch her. I never told her about me watching her secretly though. She will call me crazy if she does.” 

“Must be like hell to be apart again, huh?” 

“I hate it. I even told her, if I have the chance to go back, I would take it. But I said in the end, I will not take the wings back if she does not either.” 

“She was okay with you being a guardian angel again? Seeing it from her point of view I would have thought that she does not want you to be one again...” 

“She does not want to go be an angel again nor did she want me to one again...”, Chanyeol sighs as he plays with his fingers. “Our boss did not give me any choice. I want her to happy but I do not know if it would make me happy. She wants a family, Junmyeon. A family with kids. Me as a father... I really want to give her whatever she desires, but that is not me...” 

“Oh, wow. I did not know that you already discussed these kinds of things.” 

“How could I ever be a dad? I would not be able to be a father... I am not even feeling like an adult who could take care of such a small human...” 

“You should have it in you. I mean, the parent skill.”, Junmyeon says as he parks the car near Y/N’s apartment. “Every angel does, even you. I am pretty sure about it.” 

“But how do I lose the wings to get back to her? I did not even want those wings back anyway.” 

“Up to you. You know the rules.” Chanyeol takes a deep breath as he watches Junmyeon taking off the seatbelt. “But if it is so troublesome to you, I can make my humanity work and you can watch her raising my child instead.”, Junmyeon says mockingly with a wink.  

“I dare you to even get close with her!” Junmyeon continues to laugh until he is not able to open the car door. He tries it repeatedly, but every single time it feels like it does not work at all.  

“Chanyeol, what are you doing? Unlock the damn door.”  

“Who is laughing now?”, Chanyeol comments with a grin on his face. 

“That is not funny!” Chanyeol ignores him as he teleports himself outside the car.  

“Come on, Junmyeon! Just open the door.” 

“I swear I am going to kill you!”, Junmyeon screams as he tries to open the door again. Chanyeol turns his head to the right side as he hears some footsteps. “Open the damn door!”  

“Y/N.”, Chanyeol says breathless as a smile forms on his face. He watches how she comes closer to Junmyeon’s car as he would be in trance. “Hey Junmyeon, somebody is coming towards you.” His voice has not been loud enough to beat the loudness of Junmyeon’s voice. 

“God damn it!”, he yells. A knock on the passenger window makes him want to take a look why Chanyeol would knock on the window. “What?” As he turns over, he can see Y/N with her finger up as she was just about to knock on his car window again. “Hey Y/N!” 

“Are you alright?”, she asks through the closed window. 

“Yeah it is just the door is not working...” 

“The door does not work?”, she asks as she tries the passenger door. “Uh, that one is still working.” 

“At least his smile is gone...”, Junmyeon mumbles as he gets out of the car.

“I am sorry. What did you just say?” 

“Me? Nothing. I am just cursing at my car.”, he reassures as he climbs out of his car. “Thanks for opening it for me.” 

“Sure thing. The cat is doing better than yesterday, by the way.” 

“Glad to hear that.” 

“She has a very good appetite and seems to be able to walk and play only on three legs very well.”, she explains as they walk into the building.  

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ 

“Tell her I am here!”, Chanyeol repeats again whilst Junmyeon is checking on the cat. “Just say it!” Junmyeon shakes his head to response with a ‘no’ but Chanyeol seems to have none of it. “Please! Her bed smells like my perfume! My perfume is all over her bedroom. She must be missing me badly!”

“Is something wrong?”, Y/N wonders as she watches him shaking his head. 

“No, everything seems alright.” 

“If your friend is not able to correct it, will she be alright with just three legs?”, Y/N worries as she pets the cat’s head. 

“Cats can live very well with just three legs. I see no problem with that but we can at least try to save the leg.” 

“Can’t you just use your power, Junmyeon?”, Chanyeol asks as he steps behind Junmyeon. “You must have some kind of power to heal the animals, don’t you?” 

“Y/N, I am sorry but I would need to use your bathroom. Is it okay, if...?” Chanyeol narrows his eyebrows at Junmyeon as he turns to her. 

“Yes, of course. It is just around the corner. The first door on the left.”  

“Thank you.”, Junmyeon says as his eyes land on Chanyeol. He starts to walk towards the bathroom rather quickly when he notices that her attention is back on the cat. As soon as he is inside, he locks the door. “Chanyeol! Get here!”, he commands quietly. “Do not let me wait!” It took just a few seconds until Chanyeol appears in front of him. “What is wrong with you this time?” 

“Did you call me just to ask me if I something is wrong with me?” 

“No! I wanted to ask you for the last time to let me do my job without annoying the hell out of me!”, Junmyeon yells as quiet as he can. Chanyeol crosses his arms in front of his chest mockingly. 

“Are you finally ready to tell her?”, Chanyeol asks as he watches Junmyeon taking a few deep breaths. 

“I will not!”, Junmyeon whispers. “Stop getting on my nerves! Do you not have to watch over someone?” 

“We both know, that I will not stop and the only thing that could take me go away from here is if my protégé is suddenly waking up from his coma.” 

“Here is a deal for you.” Annoyed, Chanyeol leans in to hear Junmyeon better as he starts to speak quieter. “I will tell her another time but therefore, you need to let me do my job.” 

“Your job is to tell her.”, he answers coldly. “No disrespect, but I cannot wait any longer.” 

“No. Definitely no. Listen, my job is being a vet. Not being your personal messenger!”, Junmyeon hisses in a whispery voice. “Get a bird to bring her the letter or something...” 

“You know how long that takes.” 

“That is thankfully not my problem.” 

“Do I have to remind you that I helped you once? I was the one who dragged your ass into a safe spot just so that our boss would not see your drunk ass. I still do not understand how the alcohol was able to influence you...” 

“That was one time! How many times did I help you?” “Well, many times...”, Chanyeol confesses. Junmyeon moves his hand upward to warn him that he is about to slap him. “Okay, I see what you try to do. What if she hears the slap?” 

“Who said that I will hit you only once?” 

“But how do you explain it to her? How do you want to explain the sound?” 

“There is always another time, remember that, Chanyeol.” 

“Hey, if I did not save your ass back then, you would be in Y/N’s shoes.” 

“I do not care! Leave me alone!”, Junmyeon yells. As Junmyeon grabs the door, he notices that Chanyeol looked the door.

“She might think that you should never use your bathroom again if you are not able to open it...” 

“Stop this nonsense!”, Junmyeon screams uncontrollably loud. “Shit!”, he says as he leans his head against the door. 

“She is coming. Y/N is coming. Good luck!”, Chanyeol comments as he hears her coming. 

“I swear, if this door does not open soon!” As Junmyeon turns over, he sees that Chanyeol disappeared.  

“Are you alright?”, Y/N questions from behind the door.  

“Yes, uhm... It is just that...” Nervously, he looks around to find anything, just anything to have an excuse for being in the bathroom that long. Thankfully, he finds an excuse easily as he sees the hand cream on her washing machine. Quickly, he puts the lotion on his hand. The amount he uses is way too much to sink into his skin on time. “I usually put a hand crème on my hands when I washed my hands. I hope you do not mind.” 

“No, it’s fine. Can I come in?” 

“Yes, you can.” Just as Junmyeon thought, Chanyeol unlocks the door for her. 

“Oh, thank god.”, she says as she breathes out. With an irritated look on Junmyeon’s face, he turns to her. “I did not mean to say it like this... I thought that you might have dropped the hand creme.” 

“Oh, that no. I just took a bit too much from it.” 

“Happened to me before too.”, Y/N laughs. “I should change the handle... I think the knob is not a good idea after using some crème.” Junmyeon laughs along as he walks behind her as she walks back to the living room. 

“Just tell her! Junmyeon, just say that I am right here!”, Chanyeol screams as he jumps onto the couch next to the cat. At first, Chanyeol did not know why the cat started to growl at him until he notices that he sits on its tail. “Sorry, kitty. I did not see your tail. Please, calm down!” 

“Why are you growling?”, Y/N wonders as she steps closer to the cat. “There is nothing there...” 

“You know, some cats can feel souls or ghosts and those kind of stuff we humans can’t see.”, Junmyeon explains. Carefully, Y/N walks up to the cat to calm her down with some slow touches. 

“You mean lying angels like you!”, Chanyeol adds. 

“What I tried to say is,”, Junmyeon continues with a sigh leaving his lips as he speaks. “maybe something is freaking her out.” 

“I wonder what it could be... Maybe the flowers over there?” 

“Maybe.” 

“That’s a shame... My colleague gave it to me as an apology...” Chanyeol’s eyes become big as he starts to think about Jongin. Junmyeon looks away as he sees Chanyeol walking up to him. 

“You must figure out if they are from Jongin.”, Chanyeol begs. “Please! I will break his arm if it is him...” Junmyeon’s face starts to show the worry about Chanyeol’s plans.  

“Did he send you a card as well?”, Junmyeon stutters. 

“Yes, he did.”, Y/N answers as she starts to wonder how he knows that it would be a male who send her the flowers into her office. “How did you know that the flowers are from a male colleague?” 

“Huh? I just saw the card and I wondered who the lucky guy is.” 

“Lucky guy? You can call him whatever but only lucky that no woman has killed him until today.” 

“He is a player, worst kind...”, Chanyeol comments.  

“Well, funny that you say that... I read that by some names, you could tell if a man is a trouble maker. The names mentioned in the article were Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Jongin...” 

“Are you trying to tell me that your name Is written on the good guy-list?” 

“Do not flirt back, Junmyeon!” Junmyeon starts to smile as he steps closer to her. 

“If you like, I can take you out for a dinner. Maybe we can watch a movie in the cinema if you like.” Nervously, she takes the hair strand from her face and places it behind her ear. 

“Sounds like fun.”  

“Do you want to go right now?” 

“You want to go right now? I mean, you just came straight from work...” 

“If you want to go to an expensive restaurant, we might not get a table but if you like simple food, I know a spot to where I can take you out to.” 

“I still have to do my makeup and my hair...” 

“No, you do not.”, Junmyeon says as he puts his fingers threw her hair. “You will make turn heads anyway with your natural beauty.” The blush on Y/N’s face is instantly visible as she smiles to herself. 

“Alright. I will get my bag. I will be right back.” 

“Junmyeon!”, Chanyeol screams as loud as he could. As Y/N is out of their sight, Junmyeon turns to him obviously satisfied with what he had just done. 

“That was a little cheesy but it worked.”, Junmyeon confesses as he smiled mischievously. 

“What on earth are you trying to do here?” 

“I have my own techniques to annoy someone like you.” 

“Cancel it! Say that, that there is an emergency in the clinic.” 

“No, I will not cancel. I have not gone out in a while. It must be refreshing to do that.” 

“Okay, I got my bag.”, Y/N says loudly as she walks into the room. “I am ready to go.” 

“Perfect.”, Junmyeon says as he walks towards the door. Chanyeol watches how both of them are leaving the apartment. 

[cannibalisticshadows]

Nightcall (2/2)

[ao3 Link] .    [Part One]

Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.

The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.

“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.

“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“

Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.

Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.

His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.

Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.

And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?

Well, he’d find out tonight.

He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn’t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.

And he wouldn’t be alone.

Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.

So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”

When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.

The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—

“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.

Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.

Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.

He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.

And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.

Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.

They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.

After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.

Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.

As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.

With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.

“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.

“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“

“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.

“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”

Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.

Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.

“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”

“Mm.”

“But—I… I…”

She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah—s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”

She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.

He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.

The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.

They sit in silence for a long time.

“I’m done,” he suddenly says.

He hears her move around again.

“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…

“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “

She lets out a muffled sound again.

“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”

Roxanne suddenly spits.

Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.

He shrinks in his seat.

“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.

“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—

She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—

Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.

The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—

She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.

“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”

He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“

She sniffles.

He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“

“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”

“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”

“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”

He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”

“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.

As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—

She slaps him in the chest.

He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.

“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“

“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”

This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”

“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“

Her lips are on his again.

Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.

When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.

“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."

What.

"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”

His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—

“You—you what—“

Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”

He jolts in his seat.

“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”

“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”

“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”

Hapless, he stares at his knees.

“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”

“All of it,” he breaths.

Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”

He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!

“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”

She looks at him in confusion.

“You were always falling asleep.”

Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”

“Why.” It isn’t a question.

“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”

“N—!“

She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.

"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.

He wants to bang his head against the wall.

“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”

“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.

“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”

He nods, expecting that answer.

“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”

“O-kay...?”

Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”

“W—“

“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.

This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.

He’s glad he told her.

[magical-awesome-kid]

Platonic Soulmate AU no one asked for

Soulmate AUs are almost exclusively romantic pairings but I give you the ultimate platonic right here and now.

Basically soulmates are still people destined to fit perfectly together but more in that they are reincarnations of the the same soul. They are the pair to you, salt to pepper, pb to j, etc; however, it’s rarely a romantic phenomena and more likely that the person or persons who are your other parts end up becoming closer then any other family or friends.

While only about a quarter of the population has soul marks, this number has increased dramatically over the years. It’s still being understood by science and, of course, there are people who think it should be romantic or is an abomination Blah blab blah.

Basics of soul marks:

Each soul is given a mark but its only visible on the skin of people who share a soul

There is one similarity between all the marks - there is a shape, usually a circle, encompassing the mark that is broken into line segments. The number of lines = how many soulmates you have

Most common number is 2/3 soulmates but there is one story of a group of 8 sharing one soul

They usually show up at birth or within the first five years of life

Soul mates can also share things - writing on skin, feelings, whispers of thought, what they’re listening to, etc, but it’s really random and the jury is still out on why

For the Sides:

Their mark is a rose that starts of as light blue and fades to dark blue, purple, and red. Its encompassed by a black circle broken into four parts

They first realize that random marks will sometimes transfer over when written on skin. Logan figures out they need to write in their associated colors to get best results, but even then they fade out or cut off at weird parts

Doodles always transfer though, and Patton and Virgil are stress doodlers

Patton is really in tune with the emotions thing while Virgil can tell only when someone is stressed or experiencing extreme emotions.

Logan and Roman can catch glimpses through the others eyes from time to time

These strengthen once they actually meet

Logan and Patton:

Logan and Patton met each other first. Logan transferred to Patton’s school district for Freshman year and, sadly, could not escape gym. He showed up in his blue swim trunks to the swim unit with a frown and had .5 seconds from the time he heard a gasp and was tackle-hugged into the pool

Logan’s mark is on his upper back by the shoulder while Patton’s is on his right hip, so as soon as Patton saw the matching mark he POUNCED

Logan gasped for air when he came up ready to give the person a talking to about proper safety but they’re crying and emotions and Logan can’t deal but then when they do get out of the water and he sees the mark he just goes ‘oh’

The next two years of high school they become the best of friends, filling in where the other lacks. Patton is the emotions guru and helps Logan understand other people better (he can do basic emotions but more complicated things go over his head) while Logan helps Patton focus when need be on his studies and bring him down to Earth sometimes when he’s basically on an emotions high (not helped by the empathy thing)

Virgil and Roman:

Meanwhile, at another school district, two utterly opposite boys have been in an unlikely friendship since middle school

Roman and Virgil met when Virgil’s mom told him he HAD to join SOMETHING at school because she didn’t understand his Anxiety and just thought he was sad because friend things. Virgil didn’t like it so he went for the easiest thing he could think of - stage crew. He could sill wear all black and he could paint set pieces and generally stay out of the way

But nope the best sixth-grade singer had a major fashion meltdown twenty minutes to curtain on opening night and Virgil managed to get it fixed with some careful staples and a few pins until intermission when he could actually fix it.

Of course now the kid named Roman likes him and won’t leave.

Roman is very Extra. He’s in a bit of everything but he loves stage the most. He’s always out there with dreams of glory and magic and all, but its really hard for him to put things in perspective sometimes, getting him into trouble he can’t get out of alone

Virgil and Roman just end up sitting together one day when Roman invites Virgil to sit with some of the other cast and crew kids at lunch instead of hiding... somewhere (Virgil often goes to a teacher’s room with a homework excuse). Virgil doesn’t at first but eventually he caves and does it ONCE to get Roman off his back.

It’s not once.

Even long after the winter show is over Roman and Virgil still hang out and seem to compliment each other. They are the sass kings so much so people think they hate each other but then Roman is just like “oh no this is just how we show our love” while Virgil rolls his eyes

Because Virgil almost always wears a pullover or hoodie (even in the summer), Roman has never seen his upper arm and, with the weird placement of Roman’s mark on his outer left thigh, it wasn’t likely that they’d ever show each other on accident

Roman loves his soul marks and soulmates and can’t wait to meet them even if he only knows snippets about one another though random images and lots of doodles. Virgil is, of course, anxious about it. They talk about their soul mates sometimes but because they don’t have the same experience (extreme emotions vs images), it takes them forever to put things together

Eventually Roman catches Virgil doodling little purple cats onto his inner arm one day when he’s really anxious - seriously anxious, hood up and earbuds and practically rolled into a ball. Roman is about to interact to try to distract when he notices little spots of purple on his arms.

Roman looks between the purple marks and the location of the cats. One of his dots gets whiskers

Roman screams, startling Virgil as the boy practically falls over and screams himself, and now everyone is staring as Roman and Virgil are screaming. Roman shoves his hands in Virgil’s face and it takes a hand comparison then more screaming before realizing yes, they’re soulmates, god dammit, and your stuck with me for life Sir Sing-a-lot

Bring it together:

Sophomore year of high school Roman tries out for the speech and debate team and, of course, gets a spot in the humorous interpretation team with his rendition of a funny play. He manages to convince Virgil to take a chance and try out as well, and Virgil gets a spot on the informative 4 minute speeches for his piece on anxiety and coping mechanisms

Virgil is just grateful that Roman sneaks into the room every time and that its only to five or six people. He kind of hates it but also enjoys it because he know a lot of people come away knowing more about anxiety

But then they have to travel to a nearby school for a competition, where a certain blue-tie-loving nerd is giving a four minute on the importance of hydration and a balanced diet (while his best friend is running the bakery table, of course)

Virgil and Logan (and Patton, who snuck away to watch, and Roman, who snuck in to support Virgil) end up in the same room. Logan sort of intimidates the group with his speech but Virgil appreciates it because theres a lot of things that overlap with dealing with Anxiety

Logan walks back to the refreshments with Patton but Roman and Virgil end up following because FOOD and eventually they begin to talk about their pieces. Roman and Logan start a debate on the balance of dream chasing in the mix of taking care of one’s self while Patton is all over Virgil’s jacket because its hand made and can you make me one but CAT???

Logan: You are allergic to cats. 

Patton: But CATS!

Of course, now when Logan and Patton come to the other school it’s like they never left and they’re all back to being besties and sharing stories from the time. Patton insists on needing phone numbers, and it becomes a thing

Junior year Roman invites Patton and Logan to the spring musical when he gets to be Hercules in the play (first major roll, one which is usually given to a senior). They, of course, come, and it’s all a mad house so Patton and Logan see Virgil and Roman for only a few minutes because Roman still needs to get his skirt thing on and Virgil has to fix a sword because some idiot (*Virgil glares at Roman*) broke it trying to impress a cute boy

Roman: But did you SEE him? 

Virgil: Yes, I have eyes, and he’s totally out of your league 

Roman: *offended prince-y noises*

When the play gets going Logan and Patton are enjoying themselves but when Roman comes on stage with his skirt thing both Logan and Patton are staring because right at the edge of his skirt a multicolored rose is peaking out.

Logan spends the rest of the act just trying to see if its a match but Patton’s ready to burst right then and there

At intermission, nothing stops Patton from running back stage and tackle-hugging Roman and, at first, Roman’s like “wow thanks Padre but you haven’t even seen the second act” but then Patton lifts his shirt and shows his mark and is screaming excitedly

Anyone who went to middle school with Virgil and Roman suddenly have deja vu

Patton’s screaming, Roman’s screaming, Logan is just so done with his crazy extraverted soul mates so someone grabs Virgil because he’s the only damn one who can calm Roman down

Virgil: What the HELL is the screaming about???

Roman, clutching Patton: SOULMATES!

Patton: *screaming excitedly*

Virgil, turning to Logan: Please explain.

Logan, adjusting his glasses: Well... it seems Roman is a third to Patton and I’s shared soul.

Roman, eyes blown: WE HAVE THE WHOLE BAND TOGETHER!!!

Logan: What.

Roman: VIRGIL IS MY SOULMATE WHICH MAKES HIM YOUR SOULMATE WHICH MEANS-

Patton has already released Roman to tackle hug Virgil and now Virgil is all flustered and Logan save me from the extroverts

Roman’s second half is more energetic then ever, and he gets a standing ovation. 

In college they end up at different schools but they’re relatively close so every weekend at least one person is visiting another. Patton and Virgil are in the same city, so they just room together after freshman year.

Roman’s moms constantly joke that their son sees his soulmates more then they see him, and he just gives them the most dramatic response by grabbing everyone and bringing them over one weekend. His moms did not sign up for this Roman (but they love his friends)

Roman tries to set everyone up with dates. Some work out but most don't, and that’s ok because he’s never deterred (much to Virgil and Logan’s exhaustion and Patton’s excitement - Patton makes so many friends instead of date mates most of the time)

Patton and Virgil are both together when the huge wave of heartbreak hits them and they instantly call Logan and Roman

Logan just got his heart crushed by a guy he liked, and it was one of his first big crushes so everyone comes in and makes him feel loved

When Patton breaks his leg, Roman and Logan see the hospital sign via Virgil and show up without being called, fearing the worst. Patton’s just sitting there with Virgil doodling on his cast, though, and they were going to call them when they got home if the two hadn’t freaked so much to rush over without all the facts (much to Logan’s embarrassment)

Roman and Logan, of course, stay the night to help (and sign the cast)

Virgil being very anxious about exams and everyone helps - Logan Skypes to help Virgil review and Roman is sending mix tapes while Patton offers sweets and hugs, and it really helps the kid calm down.

Basically even after graduation they’re still in one another’s lives to the point that when Patton get’s engaged he’s got them all there for the full wedding planning. When Roman gets his shot at Broadway, they all come out to see him. When Logan gets tenure, they throw him a quiet but no less fabulous dinner. When Virgil decides to write a book about Anxiety, everyone cheers him on, especially when it wins top of the New York Times.

Just them being there for one another through it all, and it doesn’t have to be romantic its just being them, feeling complete with one another there.

[huffle-poof-blog]

Things the Hogwarts Houses say

(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)

Hufflepuff -

"If you don't start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend" 

 "I swear on my chicken nuggets-"

"Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it's not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-"

"Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please"

"Ah yes, it's 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them"

"You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I'll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME"

"Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there's this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone"

"Sorry I'm late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies"

"Are you awake? Great, let's start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready"

"This is my favourite photo album! It's full of photos of all the cats and dogs I've made friends with on my walks, I've even given them all names"

(crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”

Ravenclaw -

 "Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"

“What? Simplifying equations? No, I can't help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"

"Sorry I really can't go out today. No I'm fine, I'm just stressed I'm doing something important. I'm trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it's important!"

"I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game"

"What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that's not weird?"

"Sir, I don't mean to be rude but I've been doing my own research and you're getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I'm not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I'd love to teach the class my self I've already made a lesson plan, thank you"

"No, I won't come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it's completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren't meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I'll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it's too late, you already invited me. I'm buying our tickets right now, don't move"

"You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I've spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let's fucking go"

"I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it's only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was"

"Shut up? Shut up? I haven't shut up for 17 years and I'm not about to start now”

(crying) "I just want Shakespeare's ghost to be proud of me"

Gryffindor - 

"I'd love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there's a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast"

"Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”

"What did you say? Don't touch it? Alright." (touches it as soon as the person turns away) "Sucker"

"Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn't me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I'm not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!"

"Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can't stop"

"Before you say anything it wasn't me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing"

"Excuse me? They said what to you? ... I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I'm not taking this fork with me for any particular reason"

"Um, did you just tell me it's impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown"

"I am so not drunk! I'm completely drunk! ... Wait shit I meant sober"

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”

“I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”

Slytherin - 

"Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining"

"Sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?"

"Over your dead body? I was hoping you'd say that"

"If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-"

"Don't come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I'm setting a timer now"

"Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn't completely straight? You're gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn't drop dead perfect every day and that I'm not a literal make up goddess I'll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school"

"But keep the one where I'm wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying"

“Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”

“My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”

“I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”

“What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”

[ittybittypbandj]

The Internship - Chapter 2

A multi-chapter Bittyparse fic with fluff and angst! Woot! 5 chapters, weekly updates. Also on ao3. <3

Summary:

Eric Bittle arrived in New York two weeks ago, newly single and ready for a fresh start. This internship was just what he needed to jumpstart his life.

Kent Parson loved his life in New York. He was at the peak of his NHL career. He had friends, the world’s greatest cat, and everything he thought he needed.

He never expected a small Southern blonde to burst into his life and turn everything on its head.

“Lordy, Bun, he winked. Winked! What on earth was I thinking, stayin’ late like I could just make myself at home?”

Señor Bun listened patiently, all floppy ears and non-judgmental beaded eyes. Bitty turned away from the desk, where he’d just finished organizing video clips on his laptop for work the next day, and pulled back the covers to climb into bed. He settled Señor Bun into the crook of his arm and tugged the quilt up around his chin.

“You’re the best listener, Bun.” Bitty nuzzled the worn rabbit and closed his eyes. He hadn’t talked to Señor Bun when he lived with Jack – it seemed too juvenile for his serious-NHL-star boyfriend’s bedroom – but he always felt better after spilling his feelings to his rabbit, and today’s events definitely needed Señor Bun’s comforting touch.

The thing was, Bitty had liked Kent’s wink. Really, really liked it. He’d enjoyed the whole day, in fact. Kent was surprisingly warm and welcoming. He’d been a great host, offering them drinks, chatting with the crew, picking up lunch from the Cantonese restaurant on 10th Ave.

He was also easy to look at, and Bitty wasn’t blind – built like a daydream with his blonde waves and solid muscles. He was only a few inches taller than Bitty, but Bitty would bet he had thirty pounds on him, all pecs and abs and quads, mercy.

But he shouldn’t be thinking about all that. It was too soon after his and Jack’s breakup to be thinking about someone else, and Kent Parson of all people. What on god’s green earth was he doing?

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling in the dark. Sometime last month, he’d stopped counting the number of days since the breakup. One day it just didn’t make sense anymore. It was like he’d looked down at himself and found a millstone in his hands he never realized he’d been carrying, and once he realized its weight, he could finally drop it.

He still had sad days, and little things sometimes knocked him off-balance like a gust of wind. Jack had been his first boyfriend, first real love. Bitty missed a lot of things about their old life. He’d hear a person speaking Quebecois on the subway, or see ducks in a neighborhood park, or smell maple syrup as he walked past a café, and memories would wash over him.

Bitty hugged Señor Bun tighter and sighed, feeling guilty for the little part of him that desired Kent Parson and his muscles. It was disloyal. Kent was the Bad Guy. Wasn’t he?

“We’ll get through this, Bun, just you wait and see. We’ll be courteous and professional. It’s a business relationship, that’s all.”

As reassurances went, it felt a little hollow, but Señor Bun didn’t comment and Bitty let the conversation drop. He closed his eyes, burrowed a little lower under the covers, and focused on his breath until he drifted off to sleep.

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

Kent: [image07194421.jpg]

Jack: Is Kit wearing a Rangers jersey?

Kent: dude

Kent: read better

Kent: it says Purrson 90 on the back

Jack: Hah, you got her a personalized cat jersey. You’re ridiculous.

Kent: you’re just jelly cuz she could own ur ass at hockey

Kent: her FO% is .52

Jack: I repeat, you’re ridiculous. How’s your day?

Kent: her slapshot tops 90mph

Jack: Did you run today?

Kent: yeah but it was muggy as balls

Kent: u?

Jack: 6 miles, 39:50, light hills

Kent: slacker

Jack: What was your time?

Kent: a gentleman wouldn’t ask

Jack: C’mon, Kenny…

Jack: Please?

Kent: haha

Kent: oh man I forgot I ordered delivery. gotta go, food’s here [sushi emoji] [grinning cat emoji]

Jack: OK weirdo.

Kent dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. Ugh, why did all of his texting turn into piles of steaming shit?

He was texting Jack to build their friendship. Back when Kent was seeing his therapist regularly, they’d talked about what Kent would do if Jack started communicating with him again. They’d written down a list of strategies that Kent could use to help rebuild their friendship as adults, without the tangle of hormones, stress, and unresolved mental health issues that led to their first fiery downfall.

This – texting Jack pictures of Kit – was part of Kent’s Being-Friends-With-Zimms List. So far Jack had initiated most of their text conversations, sending Kent his workout stats and asking him for Netflix recommendations. Kent figured it was his turn, and Kit looked hella cute in her Purrson jersey. He wasn’t about to offer Jack his morning run time; he was always faster than Zimms and it wasn’t polite to brag.

He wanted to eventually get around to asking about Eric, since he was pretty sure adults asked each other if it was OK to be friends with their exes. But, like, one step at a time.

And then Jack had called him Kenny in his text. It was the first time since that party at Samwell years ago. Kent called Jack ‘Zimms’ all the time, and Jack called him ‘Parse’. Those were hockey nicknames, Parse-and-Zimms, Zimms-and-Parse.

Kent’s stomach felt twisted in knots. ‘Kenny’ wasn’t a hockey nickname. It was intimate, and a decade ago it would have been followed by desperate, whispered Quebecois. Kent had convinced himself ages ago that Jack didn’t think of him as ‘Kenny’ anymore.

So, Kent totally freaked and aborted the conversation with made-up sushi. Fuck his life.

He sighed and flipped his phone over. This friendship plan was therapist-approved, damn it. He wouldn’t waste his best chance at being friends with Jack on one stupid texting freakout.

Kent: sorry Zimms, the delivery guy was downstairs

Jack: It’s no problem.

Kent: so, tell me about ur run. get passed by any little old ladies?

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

Bitty and Kent emailed frequently in the two weeks leading up to launch. There were a surprising number of details to iron out. They exchanged photos. Bitty sent a list of proposed posts for Kit’s Instagram and Twitter. Kent replied with changes (Kit always wrote in first person, #NYClife was better curated than #NYC, etc.). Bitty appreciated Kent’s thoughtfulness.

He didn’t appreciate sorting through a deluge of emails from Kent, though, and he wished they could do some things over text. Kent had a habit of sending an email half-written, then replying four or five times with additions and random thoughts. Was it weird to give a professional contact his personal number? It wasn’t, right? He had Meesha’s number. But with all the weird history between him and Kent, what if it was a bad idea?

The night before launch, after sifting through another forty emails from Kent, Bitty finally bit the bullet and emailed Kent his cell number.

Tomorrow’s the big day!!!, he wrote. The advertising placements go live at 3am, social media at 9am. We’ll monitor the comments and retweets from the office. You and Kit are going to do great.

Here’s my cell if you need anything. Shoot me a text if you want help replying to Kit’s comments, or if you need me to use the admin functions to block a troll (not that Kit will have any trolls, she’s the sweetest li’l thing and the internet loves her).

Talk to you tomorrow!

Eric

An hour later, Bitty’s phone dinged with an incoming message.

[Unknown Sender]: hey this is Kent

[Unknown Sender]: texting so you have my number for tomorrow

Bitty: Hi Kent! How y’all doing tonight?

Kent: good, watching minority report and drinking wine. Kit’s practicing her autograph

Bitty: She’s such a sweetie [grinning emoji]

Kent: u?

Bitty: I’m waiting for a batch of mini-pies to finish baking, then I’m off to bed. You & Kit should get some sleep too, big day tomorrow

Kent: pie??? [pie emoji] [heart-eyes cat emoji]

Bitty: I’m a bit of a baker. It helps when I’m nervous [blushing emoji]

Bitty: Someday I’ll bring you some, how’s that sound? My blueberry cream cheese pie was first runner-up at the Georgia state fair

Kent: you are my hero

Bitty: Lol talk to you tomorrow Kent

Kent: night Eric

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

“Can I get something started for you, sir?”

Kent stepped forward and smiled at the barista. He ordered a latte and a morning bun. She rang him up and efficiently prepared his order, handing him a to-go mug and a pastry the size of Kit’s head. He squeezed into a booth with rustic benches and a bud vase of daisies, and waited for Eric.

This was Kent and Eric’s first Post-Launch Monthly Touchbase, or whatever businessy name Eric had called it in his email.

The day was gorgeous – cool and dry, which was unheard of in New York in August – and Kent didn’t want to waste it by meeting in an office. He’d asked if they could meet somewhere else, and Eric had recommended this sunny café near Washington Square Park. It was eclectic and cute, and Kent was going to chirp Eric to hell and back over the hipster croissant/bagel hybrid – cragels? bagants? – the café was supposedly famous for.

After ten minutes, Kent spotted Eric through the window approaching the café, tugging earbuds out of his ears and looping them around his thin fingers. He wore a pale yellow sweater over a light blue button-down and navy khakis that hugged his thighs, and Kent silently, sternly reminded his dick that this was a business meeting.

Eric ordered and made his way to the table. He set down a small pastry between them and looked at Kent with his warm, inviting brown eyes.

“Have you tried the cragels? They’re just lovely. I got us one to share, they always sell out.”

Kent groaned.

The business part of the meeting was efficient and smooth, like all of his and Eric’s interactions so far. In the two weeks since launch, they’d texted regularly and kept up with the marketing plan, so really all they needed to do was confirm the advertising placements for September.

Kent enjoyed working with Eric. He was capable and self-assured. Although Kent was starting to discover he was something of procrastinator, if the number of emails Eric sent after midnight was any indication.

Bitty tapped lightly on his phone screen. “Let’s see now, you’re in training camp starting September third…any dates we need to work around before then?”

Kent tore off a strip of morning bun. “Well, we’re already back to training every day, with morning workouts and ice time most afternoons. I don’t think there’s any conflicts though,” he took a large bite and paused as he chewed, “I’ll text you if something comes up.”

Bitty looked up and his lips quirked into a smile. “Lord, I forgot y’all’d be in daily practices already. I can’t believe how quickly I’ve forgotten the hockey schedule. This meeting wasn’t at a bad time, was it?”

Was Eric making a reference to Jack’s schedule or his own college days? Kent wasn’t sure, so he politely ignored it.

“Nah, you’re golden. I started early and did upper body work before coming here.”

“Bulking up for the season?”

“You hadn’t noticed?” Kent asked, fake-sweetly. He flexed comically and Eric laughed.

“Well you keep workin’ on that morning bun, hon. I’m sure that helps.”

Kent gawped. Eric was chirping him. He grinned. It was on.

They joked and talked as customers filed in and out around them. Kent’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Eric’s short hair had gone a little fluffy where he kept unconsciously running his fingers through it. Kent had an irrational desire to grab Eric’s wrist and gently kiss each of his fingertips. He squashed the impulse and rearranged their empty plates in the center of the table.

Somehow the conversation turned to Vegas. It was less weird than Kent expected, although he knew they were both dancing around some of the particulars.

“Why did you move to New York? The Aces wouldn’t have traded you, right? Not right after the Stanley Cup win. I expected them to give you the C or something.”

Kent nodded. “They wanted to. They were ready to re-up my contract, add a no-move clause, the whole nine yards. I just, I never really settled in Vegas, I guess. I’d made a few friends, some guys on the team I’m still close with, but it was hard being all the way across the country. When the Rangers put out feelers – Smith was retiring as Captain, they were looking for something long-term…” He shrugged. “I was interested.”

Eric made a supportive noise. “I reckon it’s nice being closer to family. I know I’d love to have my mama closer than a plane ride away.”

Kent shrugged again. “I’m not really close with my mom and stepdad. It’s cool to be near my sister, though.” He couldn’t hide a grin as he bragged a little. “She’s a senior at NYU, majoring in Biomolecular Science. A total whiz kid. I have no idea where she gets it.”

Eric smiled at him and something warm fluttered in Kent’s belly.

“What about you? How are you liking New York?”

Eric tensed subtly, a tightness in his shoulders and jaw, before he relaxed and leaned forward.

“It’s great. I mean, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, y’know? I always wanted to see the world outside Georgia, and this is my chance.” His smile faltered and he picked at the napkin in front of him. He appeared to be thinking.

“I never really thought New York was where I’d end up, but it’s been a good change. When–”

Eric stopped. Kent held his breath as Eric exhaled and squared his shoulders.

“When Jack and I broke up, I was worried I wasn’t gonna find anything up north and I’d have to move home with my parents. I felt like such a failure. When Shitty – he’s a friend of mine from college – when Shitty helped me land this internship, I was nervous as all get out. New York City, lord. But if this was my chance to stay and make something of myself, I wasn’t going to waste it.”

Kent nodded and watched Eric’s face. This was the most personal conversation he and Eric had ever had – shit, it was the first time either of them had mentioned Jack – and he watched Eric’s eyes for any sign of regret.

Eric glanced up and caught Kent’s eyes, then returned his gaze to his napkin and huffed a little laugh.

“Listen to me, ramblin’ on. You’ve probably got all sorts of important things to do today and here I am, monopolizing your time with my life story.”

Kent wanted so badly to reach out and press his fingers against Eric’s face, smooth the frown from his cheekbones. He squeezed his fingernails into his palms under the table.

“I like your life story,” he offered.

Eric looked up, questioning.

Kent smiled in a way he was sure looked dopey, but whatever. “I mean, I like talking to you. Although your choice in cafes is abhorrent. I’m totally choosing the next location. Us New Yorkers gotta educate you newbies.”

His chirp had exactly the desired effect. Eric’s eyes lit up and he straightened in mock indignation.

“Abhorrent? Mister Parson, this café is adorable. Where would you have us meet, a hot dog cart?”

“Somewhere that respects the sanctity of the bagel, for starters.”

Eric laughed, full and rich. He shook his head as he began to bus their dishes. “Well, you just let me know what New York institution you think I need to try first, and we can meet there for next month’s meeting.”

Kent smiled and grabbed their things. He wants to do this again, his sentimental brain thought stupidly.

When they got outside, Eric turned to walk toward the subway at the same time as Kent started walking the other way. They both stopped and turned quickly to face each other, and Eric nearly collided with Kent’s chest. Kent grabbed Eric’s upper arm instinctively, steadying him as he laughed.

Eric’s cheeks flushed at the contact, and at that moment Kent wanted Eric so, so badly. Eric was handsome and bright. He lit up Kent's day like a ray of sunshine through clouds.

And okay, Kent realized that was a corny metaphor. And the whole 'cloudy day' thing wasn't totally accurate – Kent loved his life in New York. He was at the peak of his NHL career, leading the league in assists and taking his team to the playoffs for three consecutive years. He liked the guys he played with, he’d made friends, and he kept in touch with Troy and Scraps.

Hell, he’d even dated a little, something he couldn’t have imagined as a rookie in Vegas. Neither of his recent ex-boyfriends had been endgame material, but he was proud of himself for the serious therapy that finally helped him feel stable enough for a relationship.

In short, he hadn’t expected a small Southern blonde to burst into his life and turn everything on its head. But right now, he felt like there was an Eric-sized hole in his world, and here was Eric, right in front of him.

Eric’s laugh faded and he looked up at Kent with wide, vulnerable eyes. Kent stared at his eyelashes, flitting open and closed as he blinked.

Oh god, Kent suddenly realized he’d been staring for way too long. Had Eric noticed? He dropped the hand on Eric’s arm.

“I, um–” he started, stopped.

Eric jumped in, “I, uh, I’ll email you about the advertising placements.”

“Yeah, the advertising placements,” Kent echoed.

They watched each other in silence. Eric licked his lips, and Kent’s mouth went dry.

“I have to get to the office,” Eric said finally. He waved a hand in the general direction of midtown, but kept his eyes glued to Kent's.

Kent nodded. “I should get home, feed Kit before she gets hungry and starts hunting the neighbors.”

Eric laughed, and just like that the moment passed.

“Take care now, Kent. I’ll be talkin’ to you soon.”

Kent returned the smile. “You too, Eric.”

He watched as Eric walked away. He lifted his left hand and lightly traced his lips with his fingers. If he concentrated, he could almost imagine the feeling was Eric's lips brushing his.

Fucking hell, he was such a sap. He shoved his hands in his pockets and, when Eric’s blonde head finally disappeared down the subway stairs, he turned and walked toward home.

[curious-minx]

The Art Patron (SHORT STORY)

Somewhere in between purchasing a full set of decorative Simpsons plates, a perfectly cromulent companion to my custard yellow walls, and generating writing prompts for aspiring writers to never do, I made a discovery that will change my life forever. 

My love language is tinsel wrapped gifts of the highest and personal order. I wanted my lady love to have a very special Kansas Day. She wasn’t from Kansas, nor did she care much for the Simpsons. She liked them just fine. Oh! A fellow is offering the artistic service of turning “ME!” into a Simpson! My walls could use all of the soggy rubber ducky yellow art it can get and seeing as the only pictures I have of myself are in the womb I think this would be one step closer to adulthood. Click, yes, sir please Turn Me into a Simpson button. Huh…$500. That’s really steep. I close the laptop and pace  around my small, growing increasingly smaller bedroom, and  I trip over a foam dumb bell. I am black and bruised. I have even made myself start bleeding. Dammit I guess I have no choice but to turn myself into a Simpson now. How else will I remember how I looked before I broke my face, but I don’t own any pictures of myself!

I have been grocery shopping recently at Sal’s Little Big Sega Bodega! She’s surely got me on camera. I huff down the thirty six flights of my storied building and tip my doorman handsomely. Listen to the heels click and clatter, Big City Blues are calling me. Sal’s Little Big Sega Bodega is one of the only approachable monuments to commerce on this fiscally icy block. I waltzed right in through the copyright infringing doors and blast a salutations to Sal herself. Sal puffs on a waterlogged stodgy and turns a page in a dirty magazine about Russian propaganda. There is a man dressed up in a Sonic the Hedgehog suit cleaning up a bloody mess pooling around the cramped store.

The man dressed as Sonic tells me,“Surf’s up, homie.” The gory puddle ripples and soaks. I step around armed with an armful of Clickers, a steady Shenmue stress ball and a  pre-wrapped Alex Kidd Enchanted Castle hoagie, I will have to pick out the pickled capers but it’s still a nice mayo dense sammie.

“Sal, fair clerkess I am hoping you are having a good day.” I am going to crack into the Sal safe one chit at a chat.

“Nope. Keep it moving, kid. Take your change.” She slides my change across the counter and even though I typically despise when people refuse to make hand to hand contact with lending of money I can accept Sal when she does this. She has clearly lived a life.

“I understand, the ToeJam and Earl flavored condoms don’t stock themselves.”

Sal snaps back, “Look-I know you appreciate all of this geeky shit, but this is my livelihood.”

“Sal, I really think you should take an improv class. You would learn not to start all of these customer interactions marinated in sea salt brine saltier than Ecco the Dolphin’s home...I will see myself out.” Damn I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask for a simple favor. An old woman with a brawny  pale tattooed man on leash has entered the store just as I am leaving. The old woman takes off her wig, revealing a bald shiny head and a pistol. She begins shoving the pistol at Sal. Sonic turns on the Jet Set Radio to full blast and slips in the bloody puddle.

I don’t want to call the police, but I call the police.

“Hello, I don’t like you.”

“911, what is your emergency.” The tone of the pig operator is harsh and accusatory. I try to swallow, but I am choking on my enchanted hoagie.

“Bang! Bang! Cops and robbers! 72nd and Pacific Ave! Be here or be square!” I hang up the phone and in my burst of adrenaline have to remind myself to not smash my own phone. I go around the corner and wait for the cops who show up. Hours go by and the Sega bodega burns, robbed and pillage. What a world. The cops finally show up when they finally feel like it and are asking Sal the typical useless questions.

“An old woman and her lackey robbed me blind and you’re just going to file some paperwork?!”

“Listen, sweetheart, this is a big bad world. Shit happens. Buck up.” Office Doomsdairy tips his cardboard hat at Sal and takes a Chocolate Milk that has one of the Super Monkey Ball Monkeys winking on the carton. The cop chugs the whole milk carton and slides Sal a twenty.

“Buy yourself something happy, you look like a miserable bitch. Also, I grew up in a Nintendo household you’re lucky I don’t arrest you for being on the wrong side of the console wars! God dammit! I hate all of these sexual harassment protocols! I used to have a partner I could wisecrack to! Thank you for calling 911, have a nice day.” The cop is leaving and I puff my chest like a mighty Maine puffin and say to the officer, “Wait!”

The cop responds, “Dude, I’m on break. Buzz off.”

“No officer, you should take a look at the security camera footage. You will see that Sal isn’t lying!”

“Yeah, sure whatever.” The filthy cop and I go back inside and now with the Wrong side of the Law by my side I can finally get my security camera footage.

“Why don’t you just take a picture of yourself? You have a phone don’t you?” Asks a nagging insipid voice that sounds rough and grainy against my thoughts. I shove the voice away and continue standing by the dirty Lawman’s side.

“So uh I think I need to see the security livestream. You do have a security camera right?”

“Yes, officer, I have security.”  Sal makes a throat cutting motion over to the Sonic man behind her who sadly puts away his Golden Axe. Sal lifts open her gate for the officer to step through and he immediately turns on the bathroom security footage and begins fast tracking and rewinding the footage stopping at every womanly shape. He does this for a while and clutches at his foam padded pants.

“Hey kid, this technology bewilders me. Maybe you should find the crime.” The cop stretches and scrolls through his phone while I fumble with this alien technology hoping to click the right video feed. I eventually stumble, click onto a feed of the main entryway and rewind to the robbery. I look over and notice that the cop is injecting himself with a violent red powder and kicking at Sal’s managerial locker. I rewind further and find a good headshot of myself prior to my accident. Seeing as I stop in every day it doesn’t take long for me to find yesterday’s beautiful face. I cringe and take out my own phone and take a picture of my image on the security camera display monitor. I fast forward back over to the unfolding of the crime. Another cop appears, Officer Wrathsberg.

“Fuckin hurry up Doom! What’s the hold up? You jerking off to potty pics again? And who the hell is this civilian? Get out of here!” I take my leave and hurry back home with a visage of myself in tow. I tip my doorman again and rush back up my thirty six flights of stairs. Back home. My plants are still wilting, my cat still isn’t back from her shopping trip, and my walls are still the color of Big Bird’s sperm. I upload a picture of a picture of myself and take another $500 out of my savings. I am going to be turned into a Simpsons.

The Simpsonfy me fill out form is of a considerable depth. They want to know a lot of personal information that I am frankly insulted no one has ever asked me about before. Some questions make me reconsider my entire worldview. I am going to be one terrific Simpson. I finish the survey and look for a way to tip the artist, but their cryptic Paypal does not offer a tip button so I add on an extra $25 to the $500. I wait. In the amount of time it takes for someone to open and close an app I get a response.

“Thanks. I will see you tonight.”

“Wait, what?” I say out loud and really wish I hadn’t. Going to take hours to get this kind of negative energy out of my house. I type up, “No thanks, please find attached the photograph of my visual likeness to assist you on what I am sure to be a lovely portrait. Thanks again and I hope you have a nice Kansas day!”

I close my laptop and masturbate because I am grateful for being an artistic patron. I feel what Walt Disney must have felt every time he flexed and brought a new animated confection to the world. The wait for the portrait will be excruciating.

My lady love, who is totally not my sister, Franchesca has returned home! I rush to the front door like a toddler puppy hybrid too cute for his own good embracing the warm glow of the Feminine return, and she grunts out a hello. She peels off every article of clothing off from her body and leaves it behind like a scorned Pompei cast away and excuses herself to the shower. I bend down and sweep up her sticky and sweet bundle of clothes and fold them into the clothing hamper. I wait for her shower and she joins me in the rhomboid rumpus (and rumble) room clad in nothing but her Parisian robe.

“So, how was your day?” asks Franchesca, and I look into the depths of her expansive molasses colored eyes.

“Pretty good! I got you a Kansas Day gift! Do you want to open it now or later?” I hand her the wrapped stack of decorative Simpsons plates.

“Um sure? Kansas Day? Is this because I told  you about that anime convention orgy I attended in Kansas? Either way, it is appreciated.” She unravels my gift which is wrapped in such a way to provide a user-friendly experience. She stares  at the top plate on the stack, Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy saxing together in the moonlight. The best plate. Franchesca puts it down, not even considering the other four plates in the set.  

“Thanks so much! I am sure one of these will look great hanging up on her walls the color of sick lemon. The purples will work real nicely. Now if you don’t mind me I think I will have a nice lie down for awhile. Wake me if you need anything.” Franchesca retires to her separate bed chambers leaving the pile of decorative plates and wrapping paper. I don’t bother picking them up. I don’t know what sort of reaction I was expecting, but this one left me cold. At the very least she could have dramatically smashed one against my head if she hated them so much. I slink away to the liquor cabinet.

I bend down to the  liquor cabinets’ sleepy filigree doors and whisper into them, “I will take one big and brown, please.” I take out a mostly full bottle of pre-made Whiskey Sour. Too many times I have gotten super sloshed making my own cocktails and making a huge mess in the kitchen, and as anyone who has ever met me always leaves with one and only one impression: “I can tell that he’s not the biggest fan of messes.” I messily chug straight from the bottle until I sputter out the synthetic 65% concoction. I pour another glass in a frosted novelty glass of a franchise I don’t even like and sink into my chaise beanbag lounge. At least when I wake up I will finally be a Simpson.

////

My throat is too dry to swallow. My eyes, too blurry and caked over to blink. My arms were too roped and bound to move. I try to speak but only weakness comes out. Every inch of my body feels like it is experiencing a tingly chemical burn. I produce a groan! That’s progress. The room isn’t spinning, but it’s not a stable clear image for me either.

“Congratulations Mister Branche, you’ve officially been made into a Simpson.”

“Dooough.” I am trying to ask what the hell is going on, but my mouth is also too heavily caked over in a rubbery mask to move. My vision is starting to reappear and I am not too sure I want to keep seeing what I am seeing.

“Hush, now do you want an official Simpson name? I was thinking Albert Sacksworth, but I am always open to my clients suggestions. No rush, but I will need a decision in less than twenty four hours if we are going to sign your official Simpsons birth certificate.

“Dooough.” I am trying to say that this is an outrage and as a fellow literalist I am sickened by this criminal negligence, untie me you scoundrel!

I am released into the world as a Simpson character. I only have eight fingers now. I will use all eight of these fingers to climb my way back into my lady loves’ arms.

The End.

[wildroseofarran]

Heart to Heart || Luke & Q

Q: *Q pounces that*

Luke: -Luke falls over and clings-

Q: "Hello."

Luke: "Hey, you." -nuzzles in-

Luke: "My sexy teddy bear."

Q: "I'm a what now?"

Luke: "My sexy teddy bear."

Q: "I'm not that hairy!"

Luke: "You're snuggly!"

Q: "You're snuggly."

Luke: "It's 'cause I'm snuggling you." -nuzzle nuzzle nuzzle-

Q: "How are you doing, gorgeous?"

Luke: "Better now that I'm with you. That cliché to say?"

Q: "Depends on why I'm the relief you need."

Luke: "Had a sucky week."

Q: "Want to talk about it, champ?" he chuckled.

Luke: "Can I have kisses afterward?"

Q: "You can have kisses during."

Luke: "Okay." First kiss now please.

Q: A brief one to start. Oh yes, they were going to escalate. Patience.

Luke: That was just fine. He was a patient guy. "Started on Monday with me breaking a mug and slicing my toe open and it just got worse from there."

Q: "Ah." Another kiss. Just a smidgen slower this time. A nice two second linger. Luke's shirt needed to go away. "How's your toe? I've been meaning to ask when you're going back to Raleigh, now that Peter's back."

Luke: Brief as it was, he was already feeling an enormous amount of comfort.

"I kind of have, sort of," he said, helping Q remove his shirt. "I spent this week there and drove back on Friday. Gonna drive back on Sunday night. Been thinking of doing that every week."

Q: "Living with a relative, or going to invest in two houses?" Time to remove his own shirt and toss it away. "You're going to burn yourself out, Mr. Graham."

Luke: "I think I'm gonna keep staying with Pete. I've missed him a lot and now that he's back I don't wanna go back to only coming here on holidays."

Luke immediately snuggled closer. "Maybe I'll do it every other weekend. Haven't made any solid plans yet."

Q: "Well, you just let me know what you decide and I'll clear my schedule for you." He felt for the throw blanket behind them and pulled it over their shoulders.

Luke: "I feel so special," Luke said with a smile, feeling himself go boneless and relaxed in Q's arms as he settled into the warmth.

Q was another reason Luke didn't want to return to Raleigh full time. He'd gotten so spoiled to being able to see Q at a moment's notice and get bathed in affection and comfort pretty much whenever he needed it.

"Maybe I won't have a set schedule. I could just play it by ear every week. Less pressure that way."

Q: "You have friends there, work, a home. You have family here, but you're going to wear yourself thin if you don't make a schedule. Just my observation." Long fingers stroked up and down Luke's shoulders. "Routines keep most people sane."

Luke: "Yeah, I might." He'd done it before. Law school and the year that followed had been an avalanche of stress and no sleep. "It feels so weird being back in my apartment. Having to take the elevator, looking out my windows and seeing skyscrapers instead of woods."

Q: "You're a city boy. You might have been born here, but look at you." He smiled. "Look at the way you dress, your hair. Nothing about you says townie."

Luke: Luke chuckled softly. "I've gotten so much shit for my hair while I've been here. That's one thing I don't miss when I'm in Raleigh. Seeing twenty people I know and having to make small talk with all of them when I walk outside."

Q: "Does it bother you, seeing me on the street, at the bar, pretending I'm just another face?"

Luke: He kissed Q's jaw. "Seeing you never bothers me. I miss seeing you when I can't."

Q: "Luke," he said the name as tenderly as possible, but with enough inflection to gently demand attention.

Luke: "I don't mean it that way. Just in the 'I like spending time with you' way."

Q: A slow nod. "Okay." He didn't need to tell Luke the obvious. Don't fall in love. He could do nothing for that infliction.

Luke: Q had no cause to worry; Luke and love weren't exactly on the best of terms lately. Not since Dana Tolvin had met his end, and even before that. Hell, that's why Luke had been given Q's number in the first place.

"Didn't mean to freak you out there. I just genuinely enjoy seeing you, unlike other people around here. Small towns are so damn...catty sometimes."

Q: "You didn't freak me out." He began to pet Luke's kempt hair. "I just don't want you heartbroken."

Luke: Luke's eyes fell closed at the affection. "Little late for that," he said softly. "Not because of you of course."

Q: "But because of Dana Tolvin, an Australian missionary man, handsome and rugged." Stacey's big mouth.

Luke: At this point, Luke wasn't even surprised Q knew. Los Angeles gossip had nothing on Edenton.

"Yeah, that's the one. Him. God. Satan probably."

Q: "Satan?"

Luke: "I figure Satan had a hand in whatever happened. Seems like the kind of messed up thing he would do."

Q: "And that's why a certain someone gave you my number." Luke was given a squeeze. "I'm not his replacement by any means, but I hope I've been a distraction."

Luke: "You have been," Luke said with a smile, snuggling even further into Q's embrace. "I'll always be grateful that I was given your number. You've gotten me through some rough patches."

Q: "One day, you'll meet Mr. Right. You'll be ready. It'll be, 'Q who? I don't know who you're talking about, good sir,'" he laughed.

Luke: It was probably a good thing Q couldn't see his face right now; there was skepticism written all over it. The only Mr. Right for him was dead. As far as he knew, that had been his one shot.

"No, you're way too memorable for all that. Me, I'm forgettable. Just a short blond guy."

Q: "Why do you think so little of yourself, Mr. Graham?"

Luke: "I don't usually, only in regard to this particular...area of life. Don't exactly have a glowing record." Not even a mediocre record.

Q: "Having high standards, or...?"

Luke: "Not even that. I guess I'm just unlucky."

Q: "I don't think you are. I think you have low self-esteem."

Luke: "I don't know, I've known--and been with--my share of shitty guys. Maybe my self-esteem is part of that too. Never really thought about it."

Q: "If you think you're shit, then you find people you think will accept shit. Usually, that's shitty people. See that shit cycle?"

A sharp noise from the kitchen forced his attention elsewhere, breath caught in his chest.

Luke: Luke nodded. It made perfect sense. So much so that it surprised him that he'd never thought about it, or maybe refused to think about it. Introspection was a bitch.

"Yeah, I see it. It fucking--" His head whipped up, immediately turned toward the sound. "What was that?"

Q: "Your brother's cat, maybe?"

Luke: It had to be. Pete was in Raleigh for the day.

"Maybe. Midas!" he called. "What are you doing? Did you do something weird?"

A few moments of silence, then--soft as can be--"....Mew."

Q: Q took a breath. Why had that bothered him so? His neck felt sticky with sweat, the hairs on his arms raised. He rubbed them in an attempt to remove the uncomfortably eerie sensation.

"Anyway," he tried to laugh.

Luke: Luke shook his head before returning it to Q's shoulder. "That's a yes. Tiny weirdo scared the hell out of me. Sorry about that. He literally grew up in a barn."

Q: "It's okay." Arms returned around Luke's body, though that obscure out-of-body sensation had refused to alleviate.

Luke: "He probably broke one of the mugs on the rack. And with my luck it was one of mine."

He nuzzled Q, wanting to offer comfort for a reason he couldn't name.

Q: "I'll clean it up. How about you get comfortable in bed and I'll join you?"

Luke: "You're too sweet," he said, softly kissing his faux boyfriend. "Thank you. Don't let him cute himself out of trouble. Give him a stern look."

Q: "I'll give him a stern look for the both of us." A quick kiss. Luke was gently pulled to his feet. "Go on now."

Luke: Luke hummed softly against Q's lips, nuzzling him again before pulling away. "Good. You let him know who's boss."

When Q entered the kitchen, he'd find Midas lounging on the counter and grooming himself with the remnants of a bowl lay shattered at his feet.

Q: "Someone was a naughty kitty." This was a situation he would surely reflect upon one day, why it was his clients trusted him with their house, with their restful lives. Bearing no ill will, it was only as he began to scoop the smaller shards of ceramic did he cross this realization. What if, he wondered, they had allowed someone else in their home, someone with less than honorable intentions?

So many people starving for affection, for comfort, for a reason to remain sane. They existed in a world in which professional cuddlers existed, made bank. People were so in need that they would accept anyone to assuage their yearning. Luke was in need because of death, because of words left unspoken.

Midas was given a quick scratch behind his ear. The debris of his carelessness was placed in the plugged sink. Enough dispiriting thoughts for one night. He still couldn't shake the chill from his arms. He needed Luke's warmth.

Luke: Midas stopped grooming himself long enough to chirp in Q's direction and give him what Pete and Luke referred to as his 'look at me, aren't I so cute and innocent' face. The man smelled like dog but that was okay. Dogs were tolerated. The big ones that didn't really do anything but lay there were even appreciated.

Much like his Uncle Luke, Midas closed his eyes at the affection given to him, watching Q clean up with a very regal expression.

Meanwhile, Luke had made himself comfortable upstairs. He'd rid himself of his jeans, both for comfort and the potential for more....more, before drawing the curtains shut and snuggling in amongst the bed pillows to wait for Q.

Q: Q wasn't far behind, removing what remained of his clothes, save for his underwear, and piling them nearby.

"A bowl, and he seemed pretty pleased about it." Time to climb into bed and play big spoon to his little lawyer.

Luke: "That little shit," Luke chuckled. He almost chirped himself as he snuggled against Q, sinking into his warmth. "Did he give you the face?"

Q: "I got a face. I don't know if it was the face," he chuckled. Now it was time to kiss Luke's shoulder, his neck...

Luke: "I'll bet it was the face. He's very good at it." He probably learned it from his best kitty friend when he and Pete were in France. That was Luke's theory, anyway.

He hummed softly at the kisses, snuggling in even further. "You're awfully good at that."

Q: "You just make it so easy," he whispered in his ear. "Have to get my kisses in before you sleep, Mr. Graham."

Luke: "Don't wanna sleep just yet," he whispered, turning his head enough so he could capture Q's lips with his own.

"Gotta get in some kisses too."

Q: "Yeah?" His signature bright grin was noticeable despite the limited moonlight. "Take as many as you want."

Luke: Luke couldn't help but grin back. "Yeah." He shifted so they were face to face, putting Q's beautiful face in easy reach. "In that case, I'm going to take about....a metric ton." And after nuzzling against his pretend boyfriend, he did.

Q: Q would never tell Luke no, not when it came to kisses. The lawyer was sweet and so human and innocent; he felt deprived of the affection he deserved. He didn't like imagining Luke being neglected, but the reality was there in his mannerisms, his need for those kisses.

"Do you want me to make love to you?"

Luke: With any other person, Luke would probably feel incredibly self-conscious about letting himself give in to his need for affection and comfort and gentleness. But there was something about Q that made him feel so safe and cared for, that made it so easy to let go. For that alone he would treasure Q for the rest of his life.

He'd all but melted by the time Q spoke again. "Please," Luke murmured, not feeling the least bit ashamed of having this need and wanting it to be filled.

Q: Luke would be treated as he had since day one, like a king in Q's arms. One might consider his constant concern to be fastidious, but the word held no meaning here. The delicacy was effortless, more so than with many clients, possibly all clients. His comfort was priority, given with fingers, kisses, entrance, and every thrust. Luke would climax first; Luke would be cleaned first. Q would be the last to bed and would hold his beloved client throughout the night. He would wake first, wait for Luke to follow before beginning their day.

Luke: From where Luke was standing, the way Q treated him and acted with him was nothing less than a godsend. How could a man who was so gentle and so loving and who made him feel so wanted and attractive be anything else?

And this between them? It really was making love. It was always making love when it was with Q, and he made Luke feel so good that sometimes it almost brought him to tears. He could think of no way to repay Q other than letting him know exactly how cherished he felt with breathless moans and whimpers and grateful kisses.

Luke would be a puddle of liquid contentment in Q's arms the entire night, sleeping peacefully in the warm cocoon of his embrace before waking with a very odd--but very Luke--lament about the struggle of wanting blueberry pancakes but not wanting to get up to make them.

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #48: Delivery.

Written: 2/21/2017

Delivering pizzas wasn’t the most exciting job, it wasn’t the most thankful job, it didn’t pay very well, and at the end of the day, if you asked him, Pete couldn’t tell you why he hadn’t quit yet. It was probably his least favorite job he ever had, and he once spent three weeks gutting fish in some run down factory. What Pete had never realized, was that the only reason he had stuck to the job for so long was because it gave him a sense of duty. He came from a military family, where everyone was expected to serve, even the women, however he had a long list of little disabilities that kept him from getting any job in the military. So, in a way that he never understood, delivering pizzas helped tune into that need to serve, and in a way it felt heroic to him. Nobody thanked him, but he provided a much needed service to many people.

At this moment, Pete was nearing the end of a long pizza run. He had already delivered pizza to a man that tried to pay him Canadian money, a couple that was in the middle of a domestic dispute, which lead him to threaten to call the cops, but then the wife told him, “I am a cop, and if you dare call 911 on us I’m going to get every officer that comes over to beat the piss out of you. Then we’ll take you down to the station, and put as many charges on you as we can, to make sure you get locked up for a long time for sticking your nose where it damn well doesn’t belong.” She was waving a gun around as she gave this little speech. They were originally arguing about what breed of cat to adopt. It wasn’t worth the trouble, and Pete went back to his car telling himself that he was a good person, he did the right thing, it wasn’t worth the trouble, who cares how badly the guy was bleeding?

The next stop had a friendly, elderly man who delivered pizzas every day just so that he could have an excuse to strike up a conversation, but Pete never tried to stay around for very long because the man never ate the pizzas, or threw them away, and they were starting to make the house disgusting. Just seeing the inside made his skin crawl, and the smell that wafted out clung to his clothes, for some reason, and the smell of rot would always stick with him for quite some time. If he paid more attention to the man than the house, then he would notice sores and cuts along the man’s legs and feet, which were mainly caused by the rats that had taken up residence with him. Today, as Pete was hurrying back to his car after breaking off a conversation about how the president is turning frogs gay, he saw one of those rats on its way into the house. Intimidating was the perfect word to describe the large thing, and they both stared at each other, wanting to move past, and Pete was the first to step out of the way. Slowly strolling into the house, while the lonely man kept the door open, it showed the delivery boy that it was much more important than him.

After that, he doused himself with cologne and brought several pizzas to a house that seemed very lovely on the outside, but when the door was opened he was greeted by a mountainous skin head with a swastika tattoo under his right eye, like the tear drop tattoos that some inmates have. Looking past him, there seemed to be no furniture whatsoever inside the house, and the only object, that was in immediate view, was a for sale sign that had been tossed in a corner. The man said, “About time”, he said, “wait here while I get my friends.” While the man walked back into the house, whispering some lazy, anti-Vietnamese slur under his breath, Pete decided that it would be best to run back to his car and drive off as quickly as he could.

The next house was on fire, so he sat in his car for a little while, wondering if he should try to deliver it anyways, call the fire department, or just drive away. Delivery seemed like the best option, mainly because he didn’t get the money for the last set of pizzas, and his boss already didn’t like him. Surprisingly, when he knocked on the door somebody calmly answered, and paid for the pizza’s. “You know your house is on fire, right?” Pete said as he tried to look out for the guy.

“Yeah, so what?”

“Well.. Do you want me to call the fire department or something?”

The man grabbed Pete’s face, squeezing his cheeks tightly together, and barked, “Look here pal, I’m a fireman! You call the fire department about this, and I’ll make sure they spray you down with the fucking hose like you were protesting for civil rights.” His smoke detector was screaming nonstop. “You got that?” It was hard to nod when the man was holding is face in place. “Arson laws can’t apply to me if I’ve put out so many fires, you got that? If you put out a fire, you can start a fire of lesser or equal value.” Burning wood began to drop from the second story. “Now get the fuck off of my property before I use those rights on you.”

When he shoved Pete away from his door step, he also threw a twenty dollar bill-as a tip-at the driver.

As he drove to the next house-which he is currently doing, welcome to the present-he began to notice, as he circled around the neighborhood, that the address he was given was a fake. Parking his car, he decided that the best move to make would be to call his boss, and figure out what he should do about it, although he already knew that the pizza was going to be taken out of his paycheck.

While he was busy with the call, he hadn’t noticed a scuffed up, olive sedan that was slowly creeping up behind his car. The driver was the person who had ordered to the fake address, and he had done so to get his revenge on Tony Pepperoni, the mascot of the pizza chain. The man hadn’t been able to sleep for quite some time, and he eventually picked up the habit of keeping several televisions in his house, and leaving them all on at full volume. After a long while of doing this, he began to notice that they all seemed to sync up when the Surfin Pizza commercials would come on, and it was his first sign that something shady was going on. Why had they all come on at the same time, on different channels? The easy explanation, and the real one, was that they were actually all on the same channel, and he was just too sleep deprived to realize this. The explanation that he came up with, was that it was code for some criminal enterprise, shadow government message, or maybe even a form of corporate espionage.

After a hundred letters written and sent to the police, and the chain, to investigate the suspicious activity, after following one of the delivery boys and noticing that he went to the same house every day, after deciphering the secret codes and realizing that Pepperoni Tony was actually the mastermind behind it all, after many other layers of crazy, he finally figured that it was best to take matters into his own hands, and after all was said and done, he’d be a god damned hero.

“Look, I don’t care if the address doesn’t exist, you gotta deliver it somewhere or I’m taking the money out of your paycheck.”

“Where am I supposed to deliver it?”

“I don’t care how you do it, I didn’t hire you not think for yourself, I hired you to get on the front lines and keep all of our customers satisfied. It shows lack of ambition that you wont go out and find new customers to sell that pizza to, and I’m starting to question why I hired you in the first place. I could have hired Franklin Smith you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I could’ve poached him from that lousy Pole down the street, but I had to hire your sorry ass. You know how good Frankie is at his job? I heard he gets a $20 tip every single time, and people will order pizzas wherever he works, just to get serviced by him. Yet I can’t get that from you, can I?”

“Well-” he wanted to explain that his prized Frankie was actually a weed dealer, and the main reason that people tipped and loved him so much was to, well you can figure it out.

“I thought hiring you would’ve made our shop so much more popular with all of these Asians, I can say that right?”

“Yeah”

“With all of these Asians coming over from god knows where, bringing all of their stupid traditions and gibberish way of speaking, and I thought having one of them delivering pizzas would’ve upped my sales, but instead I get some boycott because of ‘offensive comments’ I had made, and all I get is complaints from you.”

The man in the olive car was slowly getting out of the driver’s side, but Pete was too busy getting yelled at and trying to get rid of a stress headache, to even notice the threatening figure.

“Like yesterday, I get some call from some angry man because you offended him in front of his wife. We can’t have you humiliating people!”

“He was-”

“Oh, this’ll be a good explanation. Please, explain to me why you thought it was justifiable to treat a customer that way.”

“He was trying to get me to sleep with his wife, I didn’t-”

“Well, why didn’t you, huh? What do we have pizza boys for if they can’t bone lonely broads every now and then? What’s wrong with you, if you can’t take the time off to-”

“Sir, I’m, uh.. You know I’m gay, right?”

“Well, you’re just scared of pussy is all, if you only-”

And then a gunshot was heard and his rear window was shattered. Then he noticed the man standing behind his car, ready to take another shot, which sunk into the headrest of the passenger seat, before Pete could even get the keys in the ignition. “I want to speak to Pepperoni Tony.” He got the car to start, and shifted into drive, then a bullet fractured his radio. “Take me to Tony, and I wont have to hurt you.” Flooring it, Pete drove off as quickly as he could, not knowing where to go, figuring that the man would follow him. In that moment, he realized that he might die in the line of duty, just like a majority of his family. There was a tradition to have as many kids as you could, because almost all of them would end up dying while they were enlisted, even during peace time.

Lost in suburbia, Pete had no idea how to get out of the neighborhoods and began to repeatedly drive in circles, going about 40 miles an hour. There hadn’t been any sign of his attacker, but he had been trying to escape for five minutes straight. There was a middle aged woman who was watering her lawn with a hose, he passed by her three times, and each time she screamed, “Hey! Slow down! Children play here!” He almost ran into a mail man who had somehow dropped a package in the middle of the road. Not once did he ever see any children out playing. After three more minutes of panicked driving, he figured that his pursuer had not followed him, and he was just being needlessly paranoid, but it ran in the family.

When his relatives died while in active duty, it was hardly ever due to normal circumstances. Very few of them were reasonably killed by enemy soldiers, and more were actually killed by friendly fire. Some suffered worse hazing than their peers during boot camp, which turned out to be severe. Several died in bar fights,  suspicious accidents, were poisoned, or were simply found dead, cause unknown. There was something about them that tended to bring out the worst in people, even though they were typically kind and quiet. There were some theories in the family as to why this happened, but none of them were really satisfying or realistic.

When he finally slowed down, figuring that he should probably pull over and notify the police of the attempted murder, he was t-boned by an olive sedan, but he was lucky enough for it to impact the passenger’s side, so he wasn’t injured too seriously. For a while it felt like time stood still, he could only hear the hissing of his engine, throbbing in his head, and the scream of some children who had seen the accident. The woman had been right. It hurt when he tried to move, but he reasonably assumed that the person who rammed into him was probably his attacker, and if the man didn’t die he should probably seek cover. One of his ribs were pretty fucked up, but it didn’t feel broken. It was a hassle to even get out of his seat belt, and when he finally did he decided to check if the man was actually alive, just so he could know if he should take his time or not. Before he could turn his head, a bullet flew by and shattered his side window, which was a satisfying answer.

One of the theories as to why his family was cursed, was because way back when, hundreds of years ago, one of their ancestors had decided to put a witch in a sack and throw her in the ocean, so she cursed his bloodline. Nobody could really make any sense of this story, but most assumed that it had been distorted as it was passed down generation to generation. Some suggested that the ancestor was actually the witch, and was thrown into the ocean, but that didn’t explain how the bloodline was cursed, especially if the witch drowned and couldn’t have children. On top of that, it would also imply that the family was cursed even before that, and the harsh treatment of the supposed witch only happened because of the curse, if there even was one. The only stories, that predated the one about the witch, were mostly about ancestors who traveled and talked to animals, but those are just another load of nonsense.

Only when he finally tried to get his door open, did he realize that his car was pressed up against a tree. It started to dawn on him that he might be more injured than he first expected, but he didn’t know if he should investigate his wounds or escape danger. When he tried to crawl into the backseat, he realized that he couldn’t move his legs, and on top of that there was a hot pizza in his lap that he couldn’t feel. Questioning how he didn’t notice this when he took off his seat belt, a shot took out his rear view mirror, and the oddness of the way it was torn off made him realize that his vision was actually pretty blurry. In his mind, he had two options: against all odds, try to escape, or sit there and accept death. The latter seemed like the better alternative, mainly because he was guaranteed to get into heaven.

Another theory was related to pheromones, but this didn’t explain why they were often yelled at over the phone, and the relative who brought it up didn’t really know anything about the subject to provide anything accurate. Some people questioned if it was racism, but every time it was brought up this would quickly get shut down, because in Vietnam they were hated exactly as much as they were in America. Most ideas were easy to poke holes in, so most of them just believed that it was probably some curse, origins unknown. The curse also helped explained why psychics, palm readers, and spiritual advisers would always become terrified around members of the family.

Luckily, when the man finally got close and lined up the kill-shot, his magazine was empty, and all Pete heard was click click click. Maybe he would live after all. A man came out of the house, whose lawn contained the tree that Pete’s car was jammed against, and the man began to pull Pete out of the car. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” The broken delivery boy almost responded, but then he realized that the man was asking his attacker.

One shameful thing about their family: incest was actually semi-common. Most family members found it easier to date inside the family, because everyone outside was incredibly toxic towards them. Because of this, when Pete was lying on the lawn, body broken, he thought about a third cousin of his who he hoped to see again.

The rescuer pinned Pete to the ground, and told his attacker to go at him. The insomniac then awkwardly placed his hands around the boy’s throat, upside down, and started squeezing as hard as he could. The whole time he muttered, “I didn’t want to have to do this, but I know you’re important, and I have to send a message. Pepperoni Tony needs to know that I’m coming for him.” The man, who was pinning the unresponsive guy down, spit into the victims face, muttering something about how he didn’t know the context of the situation, he knew that Pete deserved what was happening to him.