#I love hymm <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

myslodsiewniav · 7 months ago

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Niezbyt fajne jednak reperkusje skargi i kilka innych rozkmin.

14-04-2024

Drogi pamiętniczku... jestem, kurwa, jakimś zdechłym truchłem. Lunatykuję bardziej niż w piątek. Wpuszczam informację jednym uchem i przepuszczam przez drugie. NIC do mnie nie dociera. Działam na autopilocie.

Mam od wczoraj combo: zmęczenie + okres + alergia.

OMG co za zajob.

Wczoraj byłam na zajęciach na uczelni. Okazuje się, że przyjście na konsultacje wcześniej w tym tygodniu do dziekana - mojego love-człowieka na tej uczelni - by wyjaśnić wszystko co chodziło z tą skargą, było strzałem w dziesiątkę.

Bo się pan zaangażował bardzo.

Przywitał się na korytarzu, a potem kilka razy zagadywał mnie na korytarzu. A najlepsze było, kiedy wszedł na te nasze zajęcia z "tą panią prowadzącą na którą napisaliśmy skargę) i wchodząc od razu odszukał mnie wzrokiem, puścił mi oczko <3, "niby "coś przeczytał z informacji oprawionych i widzących na ścianach, pochodził sobie wzdłuż ściany" i wyszedł xD Mam wrażenie, że większość pogrążonych w pracy osób, w tym pani prowadząca, nawet nie zaczaiły, że na zajęcia wsunął się nam cichaczem dziekan xD. Koleżanka mnie szturchnęła łokciem zszokowana i tylko wskazała głową w bok. Ja jej na to "wiem, widziałam, jak wchodził. Puścił mi oczko", a kumpela tylko się uśmiechnęła zadowolona i obserwowała znad ekranu komputera, jak typ czytał sobie ramki zawieszone na ścianach.

Potem Ci, którzy zauważyli obecność dziekana śmiali się z tego dziwnego zachowania, jakby zupełnie nie łącząc faktów, że facet w zasadzie przyszedł by empirycznie sprawdzić jak wyglądają zajęcia na których poziom się skarżyliśmy.

A w przerwie SAM z siebie przyszedł do mnie, po 17:30, gdy siedziałam na przerwie z czołem wciśnietym w swój plecach próbując zarazem się trochę przespać i zarazem zwalczyć efekty alergii - wczoraj zaatakowała mnie tak kurewski mocno, że miałam do wyboru, albo ból głowy, potoki łez i smarków z nosa, albo wzięcie leku po którym mój organizm po prostu się wyłączał, zasypiał, a potem lecieć po kawę, któa przyspiesza metabolizm i przez te 4-5h leki przestają działać, więc znowu: zmęczenie, okres, do tego nasilający się ból głowy i potok łez ze smarkami. Więc druga tabletka i jeszcze większa senność. Siedziałam więc na przerwie taka zmarnowana, aż mnie ktoś za ramię łapie. Zaskoczona podnoszę głowę, a to dziekan, który mnie zapewnia, że mam się czym martwić, że wszystko będzie okay, że koniecznie mam mu dać znać jak poszły zajęcia itp. Wyjaśniam mu, że zajęcia było w porządku, ale jestem rozbrojona przez alergię. Laski z grupy, które siedziały na fotelach obok mnie zapewniają dziekana, że faktycznie jest okay, a on tylko poklepuje mnie po ramionach i zapewnia, że będzie okay i że dam radę.

No to fajnie, bo czuję, że wsparcie przyszło.

Ale na zajęciach nie było tak kolorowo. Pani od skargi ani razu się nie odniosła do tego, że zachowała się ostatnio niezbyt profesjonalnie. Żadnego "przepraszam, zacznijmy współpracę jeszcze raz" itp - nic z tych rzeczy. Jak gdyby nigdy nic po prostu rozpoczęła zajęcia. Te same, DOKŁADNIE TE SAME, które próbowała zacząć 2 tyg temu. Hymm... Tylko, że tym razem my byliśmy stacjonarnie w klasie, a ona miała swój tablet graficzny i komputer podpięte do rzutnika. Widzieliśmy co robi i jak robi. To było spoko. Poproszona o przyjście z pomocą też przychodziła bezpośrednio do stanowiska by pomóc. To na plus.

Ale - czułam się bardzo źle. Pomyślałam, że nie będę siedzieć na tych zajęciach do 20 wieczorem, tym bardziej, że nie tak naprawdę nie musiałam: mam przyznany indywidualny tryb nauki. Nie muszę być na zajęciach wcale, to, że jestem to wyłącznie mój wybór. Dlatego chciałam po pierwszym bloku zajęć przedyskutować z nią warunki zaliczenia mojego IOS - tak jak planowałam, tak jak ustaliłam z panem dziekanem, że zrobię. Przypomnę: mam połowę semestru, pani wykładowczyni odkładała od marca podanie mi wytycznych zaliczeniowych. W końcu odpowiedziała na moje liczne, częste maile z przypomnieniem o konieczności zaliczenia IOS, że te warunki zaliczenia prześle do 15 kwietnia. Mamy dziś 14 kwietnia i NIC nie dostałam, dlatego miałam przyjść na zajęcia stacjonarne (jak ustaliłam to w tygodniu z dziakanem).

Na pierwszym bloku zbyła mnie informacją, że mam wracać na miejsce, że porozmawiamy po zajęciach. Okay. Wykonałam zadanie, prosiłam ją o feedback, o pokazanie wszystkiego - po prostu uczestniczyłam w zajęciach. Nauczyłam się. Było okay, jak dla mnie zbyt szybko i zbyt dużo opcji, poleceń, wiedzy - za dużo, żebym mogła swobodnie powtórzyć w domu - ale faktycznie to była solidna, merytoryczna dawka wiedzy. No i kończymy pierwszy blok zajęciowy. Podchodzę do niej, a ona, że też potrzebuje odpocząć (pewnie też się stresowała) i że porozmawiamy przed kolejnym blokiem. No okay. Więc spakowałam się (bo planowałam po tej rozmowie wyjść do domu, bo czułam się jak zombi w śpiączce, do tego czułam ból) i wyszłam "na przerwę" i wtedy złapał mnie dziekan z pocieszaniem.

Po powrocie na drugi blok podchodzę do babeczki, a ona każe mi usiąść, bo planowała najpierw całej grupie zadać zadanie do wykonania, a w czasie, gdy inni będą pracować ona porozmawia ze mną. Była zirytowana, że musi mi to mówić. To chyba jedyny raz, gdy wyszło z niej to, co zaprezentowała podczas pierwszych zajęć - wkurw, że coś jej nie idzie tak, jak planowała. No dobra. Siadam przy biurku, a ona prosi mnie, żebym włączyła znowu komputer. Westchnęłam, no okay, włączę, bo chcę zobaczyć i empirycznie przeklikać to co ona pokazuje - tak się uczę, empirycznie, powtarzając. Jestem wzrokowcem. Więc jak już jestem i nie mogę wyjść to przecież przeklikam, bo o tę wiedzę mi chodziło idąc na studia. Wyjaśniła nam co i jak przez chwilę. A jak przeklikałam, to wyciągam zeszyt, wyciągam swój kalendarz i idę do niej. Pytam czy teraz ma dla mnie przestrzeń, ona skinęła głową (miło, z sympatią, bez focha - spoko).

Siadam, otwieram notes i czekam. A ona bierze głęboki oddech i wypala "Proszę mi wyjaśnić po co w ogóle pani ten indywidualny tryb nauczania?". Zatkało mnie. Przecież jej to opisałam w wielu, wielu, wielu mailach jeszcze w marcu. Chwilę milczałam, wprawiona w stupor, nie będąc sama pewna czy może powinnam się czuć zlekceważona czy zła? I dlaczego zamiast podawać mi zadania do wykonania ona wystrzela z pytaniem, domagając się konieczności wyjaśniania swoich potrzeb (podważająca ich zasadność!), czyli "po co chcę coś realizować inaczej niż reszta?". Uspokoiłam się. No okay, jednak babeczka będzie miała ból dupy za tą skargę z mojej strony, ale naprawdę się stara tego nie okazywać. Okay, pomyślałam wtedy, że w takim razie mam podstawy by się czuć zlekceważona, bo ewidentnie obszerne i szczegółowe wiadomości ode mnie nie są i nie były przeczytane, a sam fakt trybu indywidualnego (zatwierdzonego przez jej bezpośrednich przełożonych, nie ma z czym babka teraz dyskutować!) jest przez tą panią podważany jako zasadny - kim ona jest by lepiej wiedzieć co mogę ogarnąć w życiu, niż ja? Cierpliwie, skupiając się na faktach wyjaśniłam, że tak, jak wyjaśniałam jej we wiadomości e-mail (musiałam wspomnieć o tych wiadomościach, sorry, nie po to uczciwie pisałam o co chodzi, i to tyle razy by teraz się z tego tłumaczyć) uczestniczę w tym semestrze w nauce na dwóch uczelniach i niektóre zjazdy lub zadania mogą ze sobą kolidować. W związku z tym mam indywidualny tryb nauczania.

A ona mnie zaczyna przekonywać, że POWINNAM przychodzić na wszystkie jej zajęcia stacjonarne. Że POWINNAM rozważyć możliwość wyboru zajęć u niej i z nią, jako bardziej priorytetowe niż zajęcia na drugiej uczelni jeżeli chcę się faktycznie czegoś nauczyć.

DA FAK?

Poczułam się traktowania nie jak dorosła osoba, a jak leser, leniuch, który unika nauki na wartościowych zajęciach.

Zatkało mnie.

Wyjaśniłam jej - naprawdę będąc w szoku i czując się zaskoczona kierunkiem w jaki potoczyła się ta rozmowa - czym jest tryb IOS. Wyjaśniłam jej, że bardzo chcę się uczyć, a ten tryb ma mi umożliwić naukę, a nie zapewnić unikanie zajęć. Że chyba dochodzi tu do jakiegoś niezrozumienia wartości - chcę się uczyć i chcę to realizować w trybie IOS. O tym zresztą informowałam opiekunkę kierunku, a opiekunka kierunku dając tą konkretną panią prowadzącą od grafiki do grupy odbiorców zaznaczyła, że ja mam dostać listę zadań do wykonania i już we własnym zakresie zadbać jak je wykonać, a nauczyciel ma mi wskazać wytyczne tylko. Takie wytyczne na podstawie których zaliczy mi przedmiot jako zdany.

Nie podoba mi się to i WOLAŁABYM być na zajęciach zawsze, ale czasem - tak jak wczoraj, czyli po 2 tygodniach nauki na dwóch uczelniach i zapierdolu totalnego w życiu osobistym, przyprawiona słabością związaną z utratą wielkich ilości krwi i atakiem alergii, nie wspominając o tym, że miałam jeszcze w międzyczasie wstrząs mózgu xD i mam rozmowy kwalifikacyjne, święta itp - po prostu nie dam rady być. I w ramach IOS mam dostać wytyczne jak zaliczyć by jednocześnie się nie zajechać.

Babka na to nalegała - grzecznie i uprzejmie - bym zrobiła wszystko by być na zajęciach u niej. Przyznałam, że na pewno będę, bo chcę się uczyć. A ona na to "a co jak pani będzie miała już wykonane zadanie, które pani grupa dopiero będzie przygotowywać?". A ja na to zaskoczona, że "Nie wiem, pójdę do domu odespać ten zapieprz, który mam od miesiąca?". A na to ta pani "Aha, to w porządku!". I dopiero wtedy mi wyjaśniła co będzie robione na następnych zajęciach. Podejrzewam, że to praca na nawet 3 lub 4 spotkania. Czyli w zasadzie te zadania mogą wyczerpać nasze możliwości czasowe z tą prowadzącą na ten semestr, ale mogą też nie wyczerpać.

Podała mi zadania, ale bez wytycznych jak to zrobić. Okay, tak mówiła, że tak ma być nasza opiekunka roku. Trochę mnie to wkurza, ale luz. Będę musiała poszperać. Mam do wykonania logo, ulotkę, dwa składy poligraficzne i grafikę z elementem photomontażu. Dużo i niedużo. A wszystko w programach, których nie ogarniam, będę musiała się ich nauczyć od zera. Jak będę na zajęciach to suuuuper. Jak mnie nie będzie to mam naprawdę spore wyzwanie.

No i babeczka znowu mnie pyta - jakby nie mogąc zrozumieć - po co mi ten indywidualny tryb? Czy ja nie chcę się uczyć? Czy ja nie chcę faktycznie tu być? Czy ja w ogóle mam świadomość jak to mnie obierze z wiedzy? Mówiła to taka zatroskana, taka ze współczuciem trochę, a trochę z niedowierzaniem.

I myślę, że gdybym była młodsza to by mi weszła babka na ambicje. Że przez indywidualny tryb "oszukuję", że "odbieram sobie szansę na odkrycie swojego potencjału", że to forma wagarowania, udawania zdobywania wiedzy. Ale teraz jestem stara dupa i mnie tylko tym gadaniem wkurzyła - wierzę, że typiara może nie rozumieć moich decyzji (w końcu nie jest mną, nie zna pełnego obrazu mojego życia, obowiązków, wartości, ma prawo nie wiedzieć), ale też kurwa nie ma prawa oceniać. Nikt jej o to nie pytał. Mam IOS, bo CHCIAŁAM mieć IOS. Wygrałam konkurs i jestem z tego powodu cholernie dumna, uważam, że to ważne, że zdecydowałam się podjąć wyzwanie nauki na dwóch uczelniach - to JEST ambicja do cholery!

Więc - pokrywajac irytację śmiechem - zarysowałąm granicę, że wiem co robię i jak robię; że spełniam swoje ambicje i korzystam z szans, jakie mi daje życie. Jestem tu, aby się uczyć, ale też tak, jak tego potrzebuję.

A babka na to tylko wzruszyła ramionami i wyjaśniła mi, że "no jak pani chce". I że jak mnie nie będzie na zajęciach to mam jej te wykonane grafiki przesłać, a potem pilnować na etapie, którego zaliczenia jest grupa xD, a jeżeli przekroczymy zagadnienia, które mi podała to mam przyjść do niej po kolejne wytyczne.

Byłam tak zmęczona i tak wytrącona z równowagi absurdalnością tej rozmowy (większość wykładowców, jak się dowiadywała dlaczego mam IOS gratulowali mi wygranej w ogólnokrajowym konkursie i życzyli powodzenia; podawali w treści maila, w podpunktach, zakres dydaktyczny swoich zajęć na ten semestr, lektury, którymi nadrobię materiał i wytyczne zaliczeniowego projektu. Nikt mi nie mówił, że źle robię decydując się na IOS, który przecież JUŻ TERAZ jest klepnięty - na czas negocjacji i niewyrażania zgody czas był przez wysłaniem wniosku do dziekana, na etapie gdy zbierałam zgody), że się wkurzyłam i przytaknęłam, wróciłam do biurka i chociaż leciałam z nóg wykonałam prędko to zadanie, które moja grupa wykonywała podczas naszej rozmowy i od razu je wysłałam do oceny. Dochodziła wtedy już 20. Więc z zajęć wyszłam o czasie według planu.

Ech.

No nie wiem sama.

Zdecyduję co i jak chyba jutro, bo dziś jestem padnięta.

Nie wiem czy o tym pisać do dziekana czy nie? Nie wiem po prostu co robić...?

Mam zamiar dziś sobie porobić zadanka.

A dziś przespałam ciągiem jakieś 12h, wstałam nieżywa. Jestem jak taki worek ziemniaków, nie mam siły. Boli mnie. Mam piasek pod oczami, jestem wielka i spuchnięta, obolała. I zalana krwią - przeciekł tampon i podpaska. I nie rozumiem co się do mnie mówi. Do tego do czasu wzięcia tabsy na alergię bolała mnie głowa. Jestem jak takie zombie.

Z uwagi na to, że dziś mam zajęcia zdalnie uczestniczyłam w wykładach z łóżka, pół-śpiąc, a potem już słuchając wykładów na słuchawka, jak wstałam, umyłam kwiatki doniczkowe pod prysznicem (mam ich 32 w domu obecnie, dlatego póki co prysznic wzięło 10 doniczek, suszą się na balkonie - kiedy ja tyle tych kwiatków adoptowałam!? Mam zielone mieszkanie, to jest okay, ale ile też to dodatkowej pracy generuje... ech), zrobiłam nam śniadanie do pracy na poniedziałek i wtorek (dopiero jak je zrobiłam to sobie przypomniałam, że mój chłopak nie idzie do pracy, bo mamy urlop...).

Działam na autopilocie teraz. Ech.

No i wczoraj odkryłam coś strasznego na temat jednego z mich ulubionych wykładowców. Światło tak niefortunnie na niego padało, że coś zauważyłam i nie mogłam już odwidzieć. I miałam przez to taaaaaaaką burzę emocji. Trochę nie wiedziałam co ze spojrzeniem zrobić, a trochę czułam się idiotycznie wchodząc w prywatność człowieka, którego baaaaardzo cenię. Ewidentnie -chyba- to nie jest świeża sprawa, ani nawet trochę świeża, to wszystko jest dawno za nim, ALE świadomość o tym co oznacza zauważona przeze mnie rzecz i o tym, że dziś, w kwietniu 2024 roku mogłoby nie być na świecie tak fantastycznego, zarażającego fascynacją wobec świata człowieka mnie zmroziła.

Po zajęciach podeszłam do niego by mu bardzo, bardzo, bardzo podziękować za prowadzenie tak fascynujących zajęć - bo oczywiście, jak już udało mi się zostawić prywatną sprawę tego pana, a wsłuchałam się w wykład to ZNOWU się wzruszyłam wrażliwością i fascynacją z jaką ten pan wykłada. Serio. Znowu siedziałam na jego wykładzie i chlipałam poruszona, że tak pięknie ubrał w słowa opowieść o historii świata. Rozbawiłam go tym. Powiedział - z humorem - że bardzo się cieszy, że tak mnie porusza, chociaż wcale nie cieszy go, że doprowadza mnie do płaczu. <3

Nie wiem czy uda mi się zrobić to zadanie konkursowe - teraz zamiast je robić pisze. ech. Zobaczymy.

Kolejna sprawa - mój chłopak wczoraj wyznał, że od baaaaardzo dawna zbiera się do zadania pytania: zapytał mnie czy przypadkiem, jak piszę tzw "odsiewam myśli" lub "muszę wyrzygać słowa, żeby zrozumieć co czuję, bo czuję za mocno" to czy przypadkiem nie publikuję tego z ubrarwieniem na jakiejś stronce i czy nie prowadzę w sieci drugiego życia, zbierajac followersów. xD

Bardzo mnie to rozbawiło.

Ale też uznałam, że częściej będę pisać pod kłódką. Dla niego.

Wyjaśniłam mu pingera, ludzi których znam i fakt, że nie zbieram followersów, ani nie prowadzę drugiego, tajnego życia w sieci. Ale faktyczne istnieją ludzie, którzy czytają moje rzygi. I że ja czytam literki tych ludzi, których mam wrażenie, że znam ponad 10 lat xD

Ale rozbawiła mnie zupełnie wizja "zbierania followersów" i prowadzenia drugiego, tajnego życia...

Ale on ma prawo tak to intrpretować.

I ma teraz rozkminę etyczną - czy to okay?

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trivialbob · 1 year ago

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I enjoy reading these sorts of posts some of you write. It is only fair if I do one too. Thanks, @find-jupiter.

1. Are you named after anyone?

My uncle is named Bob. Bob's your uncle. I never really thought though that I was named after him. It never came up in conversation. He sometimes reads my Tumblr posts, so I will take this opportunity to let Bob know that I found a six pack of Hacker-Pschorr (Hacker was founded in 1417!) at the liquor store this week and bought it. That beer was sold at my college's student union. I don't think I've ever drank it anywhere else until this week. He mentioned Hacker-Pschorr to me when I saw him at a wedding this summer.

2. Do you have any kids?

Two sons, 27 & 29.

3. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I probably do, and I hope I get it right, where no one takes offense. Not long ago a young cashier handed me too much change. I exclaimed "Oh my God!" as I held up the extra bill. She giggled. The right tone of voice and facial expressions are crucial.

4. When was the last time you cried?

I must have a little bit when my mom passed away in 2021. Sometimes I get teary eyed when I hear a song like Amazing Grace or Battle Hymm of the Republic.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Attitude. It takes a bit longer than recognizing body features, but it's where I seem to focus. Does the person smile and make eye contact or stare at the floor? Answer politely with a full sentence or grunt in annoyance?

6. Eye color?

Blue

7. What sports do you/have you played?

When I was younger: hockey, soccer, and softball. In high school it was track (1- and 2-mile) and cross country (3-mile or 5k). As an adult I played bandy and ran a lot of races from 5k to marathons (about 10 of those). Now mostly I ride my bicycles. I've tried pickleball a little bit as well.

8. Any special talent?

Sadly, no.

9. Where were you born?

Fairview Southdale Hospital in Edina, MN.

10. Scary movies or happy endings?

I'm not a fan of scary movies.

11. Do you have any pets?

Three Miniature Australian Shepherds. The breed is actually called Miniature American Shepherd, but I prefer Aussie.

12. How tall are you?

5'10"

13. What are your hobbies?

Trying different restaurants, bars, and breweries. Bicycling the trails and paths in Minneapolis (which is convenient for stopping at different bars and restaurants along the way).

14. Favorite subject in school?

Math and geometry were my favorites followed closely by English/grammar.

15. Dream job?

I always wanted to be a pilot. I don't have the eyesight for it, but I think I have the right temperament to safely do that work. Other than that I would love to be an expert in a unique field, like repairing a Stradivarius or wrenching on a Ferrari. Yes, I can do that job. The current wait time is six to ten months.

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midnight-star-world · 1 year ago

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#CountryMusic

Darius Rucker - Carolyn's Boy

So today on the MSR (Midnight Star Review), I would like to talk about the latest album from Country Music Singer Darius Rucker. The new album is titled "Carolyn's boy" and was released On Friday October 6th, 2023. But before we dive into the new 14 track project. Let's talk about the Country Music Career of Darius Rucker first.

Some of the biggest hits from Darius include songs like "Wagon wheel" which features his buddies from Lady A, "It won't be like this for long", & "Come back song". And a few more hits from Darius include songs also like "Alright", "Don't think I don't think about it", & "If I told you". He was also Hootie from Hootie & The Blowfish. He has scored 3 number ones on my weekly lists MSR (Midnight Star Report) which combines both CMT (Country Music Television), the Billboard Country Music Airplay Charts, & even myself. The list also used to include GAC (Great American Country) until the list officially retired at the end of 2018. But before we dive too far off track, let's jump back into this new CD and show you some of the highlights I hear.

The current single from the CD is titled "Fires don't start themselves", and a former number one from another project as well "Beers and sunshines". Other songs you should check out are "In this together", "Never been over", & "Ol' church hymm" featuring Chapel Hart. Other songs I liked were "Have a good time", "Sure would have loved her", & "Southern comfort". Darius co-wrote 11 out of 14 tracks from the new project, and he had help from John Osborne (Brothers Osborne), & Michael Hardy (Hardy). The stand out tracks in my opinion are "7 days", "3am in Carolina", "Lift me up", & "Stargazing". Here is the rest of the track list up next.

Track list.

Beers and sunshine.

In this together.

Never been over.

Fires don't start themselves.

Ol' church hymm (Featuring Chapel Hart).

7 days.

Same beer different problem.

Sara.

Have a good time.

Sure would have loved her.

Southern comfort.

3 am in Carolina.

Lift me up.

Stargazing.

And that's a wrap for the track list. And on the MSR (Midnight Star Review), I would give this album a 4.75 out of 5 stars. The biggest question I have with the album is why are we revisiting "Beers and sunshine". But it is a very good album overall and Darius still in my opinion has one of the best voices in Country Music. Thanks for taking the time to read this review. See ya all next time.

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novantinuum · 1 year ago

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20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @picnokinesis! Thank you, friend! <3 I love these sorts of things.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

91 works, spread across five fandoms! (listed in #3)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

368,544 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

(In order of most to least recent)

Legend of Zelda (9 works)

Steven Universe (40 works)

Doctor Who (20 works)

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia (5 works)

Gravity Falls (17 works)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Steven Universe fics here, which isn't surprising:

Hollowed Moon (2,953 kudos)

Crack the Paragon (1,711 kudos)

Shattering Atlas (733 kudos)

Contact (625 kudos)

Misalignment (472 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best to respond to comments when I can, although if I get hit with a strong influx of them I often fall behind on this and respond "late." I like my readers knowing that I do take time to read their thoughts, and that they're not just commenting into a void! Also, I've actually made some new fandom connections through engaging with the AO3 comments thread in the past, so they're something I like to encourage.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So this is a tie between Shattering Atlas and a one-shot I posted in my LoZ Whumptober collection.

Shattering Atlas because... well, it's my Steven Universe: Future Bad Ending corruption fic with zero comfort. However, I do IMPLY an eventual "good ending" in the author's notes, so this is up to audience interpretation whether it TRULY counts as "full out angst."

In my Legend of Zelda Whumptober collection, meanwhile, I have a one-shot that is basically an in-game Bad Ending but permanent, in which Mipha's spirit has to watch Link die horribly to the Blight Ganon in Divine Beast Vah Ruta. That one absolutely has no silver lining, but the angstiest descriptions of it ARE pretty swift and don't linger too long.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This question is a little hard to answer because most of my fics are either one-shots or unfinished, and basically ALL of my one-shots have some falling action or catharsis of some sort. I feel like this is more applicable for authors who focus on multi-chapters, so it's not one that meshes well with my fic catalogue.

That being said, if I have to choose ONE fic, then probably my recent post TotK Zelink fic, A Hymm as Sweet as Memory, which actually contains a very impromptu and rushed proposal, and emotional reunion smooches. I feel like that counts as "happy" ahahah.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Eh... no. I haven't really written anything super "controversial" that would garner flames yet.

Yet, though.

(See below.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do now. Haven't posted it yet, but I have a fic about 75% complete that in fact COULD gain me flame commenters. I don't feel like it will, because I feel like AO3 readers are a bit more chill than folks used to be on Fanfiction dot net, but like. It always Could. It is overtly non-con and is written as an experiment both to explore my own cerebral interest in sex from a very detached asexual perspective, and see how absolutely disgusting a piece of prose I can muster. (Think... slime. Monstrous nasties. Hot, brackish fluid rushing down one's throat. Exploding eyeballs. And... yes, this IS a Gloom Spawn porn fic, what of it?)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written ONE crossover to date, and it was a fusion of Gravity Falls and Trollhunters, where all the characters existed in the same world and things played out quite differently for both plots as a result. A Tale of Two Trollhunters, it was called. Very niche, but I'm still quite fond of the idea. There's a SHIT ton of notes I have for the crossover that I never got around to writing... I only posted 14K of this work, but I have like... another whole 5K of work that's partially finished, just sitting around.

It's honestly one that I haven't entirely discontinued in my mind- I think it could be fun to return to one day should I ever get the inspiration or whim.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Lol YES, and it's with the person who tagged me. We had like... a series of 13th Doctor one-shots about her first episode we were working on for a while, and then life got away with us. Honestly they're still pretty good IMO.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god. Uh... I don't think I can consciously choose a favorite ship, but I CAN choose a favorite ship from each fandom I've been in:

Doctor Who- The Doctor/Clara Oswald, with a particular emphasis on queerplatonic 12/Clara.

Gravity Falls- Stanford Pines/Fiddleford McGucket

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia- The Jim/Toby/Claire trifecta

Steven Universe- Steven/Connie

Legend of Zelda- Zelda/Link (in general, but especially their BotW/TotK incarnations)

My AO3 stats signal that my most posted ships are Connverse and Zelink (3 fics each), but I do feel like spending multiple years writing in-depth Ford/Fiddleford RP, and like easily over 300K words of it, does mean that this ship is especially dear to me even IF it's not represented in my AO3 stats.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Sigh... probably Crack the Paragon. I care about that fic very deeply, but I'm so damned blocked on it and so deep into another fandom right now that I certainly can't see myself returning to it within the next five years, unless there's a really epic Steven Universe interest renaissance coming for me and half the internet soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uh... when I write a super crunchy metaphoric sentence, it sure can be a mean ass, crispy banger of a sentence.

I also feel like I'm decent at establishing unique voices for characters in my dialogue when I try at it. I've been told by some that they can easily hear characters speak the lines when they read, so... I will take those compliments to the bank, I guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue passages that feel oddly disjointed from the surrounding prose. I often end up sketching out bits of dialogue before I can think of good ways to link the segments together coherently, and as a result I feel like some of my dialogue-to-prose and back to dialogue segments come off as disjointed and awkward.

Also I abuse the em-dash. Em-dash my beloved. So sue me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I am only proficient in English, so for the meantime this isn't really something I'm interested in or think I could pull off successfully and respectfully.

The single exception here is that I am trying my best at describing a few signs and emphasis markers for the sign language Link uses in many of my fics. I am bending the rules a little because he is using Fantasy Sign Language and not ASL, but I think there'd naturally be a lot of visual overlap with super basic concept gestures, so I've done research for those and am having fun finding creative ways to describe his expressiveness through his hands and facial features instead of through a voice.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who! I started posting Doctor Who fanfiction on FF.net in 2011, and never looked back. Although that original account I posted on is now inaccessible to me, sadly.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have two.

One is my first fic written for Legend of Zelda... a funky lil second person POV fic called so close, so far... (so familiar...)

I just really enjoyed the writing process of this one, and feel it's one of my most unique works in style. I also think it's probably my most slept on fic of all time lol, like I wish it got more attention than it did for how much I cherish it.

The other is A Memoir of the Marks Unseen, one of the last major projects I finished for Steven Universe. This fic took me about a year and a half to write, real talk. I often get the sense that I HAD to get this one out of my head before I could truly move on from SU as an active fixation. In many ways, it's the culmination of my emotions about my own mental health recovery, all partially projected onto Steven as he goes through a different but still metaphorically relatable experience. I also like... kinda think that my writing peaked here. Lol.

I am tagging only a few people. I am tired. Yeet. Off the top of my head:

@deiliamedlini, @citrusella-flugpucker, @bahbahhh, and uhhh... one more... @michpat6

#jen rambles #tag game

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eloquent-peace · 7 months ago

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I saw a live of my childhood Methodist church. When I was a kid, the choir would stuff jumping! Whether it was the hymms and the flavor they put on that. Or their original songs the choir director put together. They didnt have a drummer at first, just this crazy good organ player that never said a word. The choir itself was full. Enough that you could pit the men vs the women and have a real singing battle going on. It was beautiful, even it annoyed little me.

Now? Now there are only 3 singers. 3! They have a drummer and a keyboard player but they arent playing with any energy. From what I hear, the problem is that all of those who used to sing got old and passed and the church is having a hard time getting young members. Id heard about this problem in the church overall. I even heard about the 50/50 split in the Methodist church. But to see it is so sad. I grew up with different generations in that church. Whenever I would visit, people would remember me and show me so much love. I remember the running around the church before and after with the kids. The big luncheons on first sunday. To see it go out like this (they will be closing the church possibly) is really sad. But theres something to learn from it. What people want for their Christian leaders is changing. To what? Idk. But it is. And its happening in every denomination. And fast. ��

#me #save #church #methodist #god

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haechanhues · 2 years ago

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KPOP FIC RECS

So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.

This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE

1. @/ - ??? | BTS (status : unknown)

This story starts as a mission to take down CEO JK. The mission is successful despite the fact that the two fall in love. There’s also a sequel I desperately want to read but I am unsure whether or not it’s been written or not. I also can’t seem to find the original fic. I remember the layout so clearly but no success. It’s got about three parts. But it’s amazing and I am as excited now as I was then when I found out a next part was coming. I remember reading it the first year I discovered tumblr fan fics and have never stopped thinking about it since.

2. @thedaffodilfields - Hymm Of The High Seas | ATEEZ (discontinued)

So author-nim deleted their account (or they relocated I’m not too sure on the details) and I’ll tell you when I saw it I felt distraught in the way it felt like sand slipping through my fingers. The brief rundown is that this story is about a siren who bonds with a crew of pirates and is I guess going through her own rite of passage to discover her true identity. It was amazing. It was so beautifully written that I can’t help but mourn over it. So beautiful. The setting and the place and the gradual build up of trust and friendship that borders between familial love and platonic love and romantic love. I miss this fic a lot.

3. @yminie - Feedback | BTS (one-shot)

This was one of my first stories I ever read on Tumblr and the reason I continued and started keeping a document tracking all the fics I read because I read a lot of them and my first ever tumblr crush ever. My first love of tumblr, if you will. The fic is so fun and exciting. When I first read it, it was so nasty (in the utmost best way) to me and I related to the main character a lot - the act just never appealed to me until I read it. Not to mention I was being bias wrecked by both boys at the time... But it felt so out of depth for me but I felt comfortable and looked after and it felt fun. I got really into it. Reading it four years later is a whole different experience. I think this fic was an inevitable to me.

4. @najaemism - Heart Can’t Lose | NCT (ongoing)

I found this fic at the very start of the year and very quickly it became a part of my heart and of me. Usually I’d keep the member a secret but as a sunflower, it’s just really hard to keep Haechan’s name out of my mouth. This story is impeccable, the writing, the effort...everything. This Haechan also has this weird hold on me - very college boyfriend vibes and everything. I love all the characters no matter how small of a part or big of a part they have. But I truly felt like I was falling in love with Haechan or at least rekindling. It sounds a bit delulu but it feels like the biggest reconnection of my sunflowerness and to Haechan (which is weird cause i never stopped nor dwindled) but idk it’s an amazing fic and I’m so grateful I found it. Thank you for this Haechan <3 Will never ever forget him nor stop loving him.

5. @luvrbin - Princess’ Journal | THE BOYZ (completed)

My Jelly baby <3 Haven’t seen you around in awhile, I hope you’re doing fine. One thing in particular springs to mind right now; the fact that my tags I had sputtered in the spur of the moment revealed that I was from New Zealand right away (in my defence - those characters really did deserve a hiding) It was amazing to connect through that - I really wasn’t expecting it. I was so so ecstatic reading this story and discovering the person behind it as well. One of the best decisions I had ever made was reading this story and reading the TXT one as well. But this one is really just amazing and I loved it. Love you.

6. @envirae - Have We Met Before? | ENHYPEN (ongoing)

I remember reading the synopsis like wholly fuck yes I have to read that (sorry for the cursing). Every time a chapter is uploaded it feels like a real treat and I re-read it over and over again, rest a couple of days and then read the whole thing. A bit obsessive and unhealthy but we love it no matter how much it hurts. It’s so interesting to find how the story pans out, I have a habit of trying to predict how it goes but am always left flabbergasted. Sometimes it’s like ‘omg I got it right?’ and then a couple of chapters in I get completely blindsided. It’s an amazing series of events and I am so damn whipped over the story. An amaaaazing story and can’t wait for more chapters.

7. @velvetsehun - Born To Die | EXO (ongoing)

This fic brings back memories and I’m currently having another read through and it feels like I’m having a conversation with myself from 2 years ago. It felt like my 2020 was this fic and this fic alone. I read it again last night and I dreamed about mafia! EXO. I read a lot of mafia fics in this time period because of this fic and though there are endless fics that are just as well written, I will always come back to this one and re-read it. There’s just something about this one I can’t explain. I love the main character especially. One of my favourite main characters ever to be written and I’m loving the pull between the two main leads. But I feel like there is a pull between the main character and other side(?) characters and I froth over it. Beautiful. A fic I will stay forever for.

8. @tayegi - Elements | BTS (ongoing)

This is one of the first fics I ever read on this website! I used to use my very old (not even fan one) account so I could read it - which eventually would lead to this one. I love the interaction of different genres - the subtle flirting, the platonic, the fantasy, the school side of things. This fic reminds me why I love these boys so much and that I miss them. It’s been awhile since this fic was updated but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop recommending this or stop raving about how good it is and how every BTS fan (or not BTS fan) should read it at least once. Honestly what a legend.

9. @mistymark - Vigilante/s | NCT (ongoing)

This is another fic I had another re-read of recently! Although the boys are largely emotionally unavailable, you can’t help but give most of your heart to them anyway. It kind of gave me the best of Shameless vibes - like there’s dysfunction but perhaps that’s not a bad thing. That there’s family and there’s love in a different way. I’m also going to take the sunflower opportunity and point out Haechan in this fic has been one of my favourite portrayals of Haechan and it gives me life. Also kind of unrelated but I’m obsessed with your little tidbits into your personal life and your thoughts and your whole entire masterlist. I assure you, any type of fic you gravitate towards Aspen has it (love your name so let’s shout out how much I love it).

10. @santheestallion - Sex Ed | ATEEZ (completed)

Originally, I was going to include ‘His To Take’ but after reading ‘Sex Ed’ I changed my mind. This ATEEZ member is the very definition of warm and I sincerely hope that everyone can find someone in their life that will ignite you in the way that he does. I really hope so. As for the writing, it’s the exact same. There’s a kind of warmth to the words that are written and the person who wrote them. This relationship/connection is one I find so important and it made reading these words almost unconscious. I was at my most relaxed and lighthearted and it felt so good to just feel like a feather floating in the air. There’s an amazing feeling attached to this fic and I want to share it with everyone.

11. @wooyukh - Loved | TXT (completed)

The most chaotic yet loveable couple I’ve ever shipped together. It’s the moods that co-exist for me. Shipping them so hard together that anything but is terribly offensive. Shipping them to the point the relationship is irritating. Like we love honeymoon but cmon my eyes. It was so funny and lovely but so in touch with my inner feelings towards *. What else to say except they’re beautiful - they’re both the same person. I loved every celebration for every minor change. Would I ever do it in real life to my significant other? Hell no. But did I love every single minute of this couple doing it? Yes. In total honesty another fun fic that I feel only good things for.

12. @readyplayerhobi - Flower | BTS (completed)

There was so many options, so many I may have to recommend more some other time BUT I had to put Flower. I had to. The main relationship within this fic is everything, means everything. The way they learnt about each other and learnt how to navigate the other and themselves in a way they’ve never quite allowed themselves to before really touched me for some reasons. I have never been touched in such a way before so it’s a new experience. I don’t know how to articulate it at all but it’s there and it’s wonderful and I want everyone to experience the same. For me it was this fic and I want someone else to find that feeling for themselves.

13. @talkbykhalid - To : All The Boys I’ve Loved Before | ATEEZ (discontinued)

I literally found out it was discontinued today but nevertheless it’s going on here still. I’ve read a lot of this concept but this one stuck. It’s been one of my favourite fics for a long time. I loved all the different dynamics. I love the concept of having different people that influence you in different ways. I’ve always adored it. I will forever adore this story and this author 💕. I’m sad that you’re discontinuing but I’m happy that it’s because its essentially because you’re more interested in others and to plan it. Talk about writing growth and it’s one I support with my whole heart <3.

14. @yeoldontknow - 143 I Want You | EXO (one-shot)

Before this, I was used to smut that was quite vigorous and kinky and all that good stuff. BUT I’ve never quite seen smut as beautiful as this. It’s complete artistry is what it is. Like goosebumps. I can just imagine it. I first read this when I was on my period and it was a game changer. I didn’t know how to act. I also loved the implication on how the relationship played out - it felt very domestic, very loving and very healthy. There was so much to this story that wasn’t smut and I think that’s beautiful. I’m being completely serious about the artistry behind it. It was amazing and will forever be one of my favourites. I’ll scream it out to the choir. I’ll pass the pamphlets. I will hold a Ted Talk just to talk about it i don’t care - I’ll do it.

15. @xherxx - Thesis It? | BTS (completed)

God this story really is some nostalgia. It also has a completed sequel may I add! This was a rollercoaster ride like no other and the fact that it manages to work has me flabbergasted. Actual me would not be able to handle the events of this fic but I’m glad to see there’s a version of me that can. This is one for the chaotic. The wild and the free. I’m actually speechless looking back at it. It still has me in this unexplainable grip. Like I always get excited to get through the fic chapter by chapter, word by word. Like now re-reading it, it brings me back to the me I was a couple of years ago and there’s actually something different and I’m surprised. Woah. It’s been a long ride.

16. @ncteez - Definition of Hate | NCT (completed)

I read this fairly recently and I just immediately added it to this list. I couldn’t fucking wait to write about it. This fic has me frothing since the first chapter and I can’t remember how I found it - maybe I just let tumblr scrolling do it’s thing? In this instance, tumblr is my religion and author-nim my god. I fucking love this fic and I’m going to think about it for a long time. I love the balance of platonic and romantic in this. I love that although the MC has her faults - she’s inevitably loved and held accountable all the same. The writing style is absolutely gorgeous and author-nim I love you forever and ever. Also when I read it - I had the best luck that day? My mum and dad were buying me albums... My cousin paid for my lunch and we had a good hour. Like I felt so happy in a way you just catch yourself appreciating life all the more you know?

17. @cloudykyu - Unstan | THE BOYZ (completed)

Usually I stay away from a fic series/social au until the author is a couple of chapters in and initially that was going to be the plan for this. But I couldn’t help myself obviously and I read it. Author-nim’s writing style is actually so lovely and one of the loveliest I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. A social au you can literally melt through - it’s so lovely. There’s something like a uno-reverse in here that I think is so refreshing and everything’s just pink in the best way and it’s so safe and comforting. I think the vibe of this is very Sunwoo and I think everyone needs to read this whether you stan The Boyz or not (in saying that if you don’t you definitely should). Sad to see author-nim is no longer on tumblr though :(

18. @ahgaseda - To Kill An Empire | GOT7 (ongoing)

Now, this was another hard decision of what fic would go here honestly. I have tons of favourites in all honesty. But, I have to comment on this one - I think. Just the relationship between each of the characters, what they do, how they talk. The character building talent that author-nim has is impeccable and inspires me in the greatest of ways. I love the descriptions and I love scrolling through these stories. It’s kind of romantic almost. Reading this had this like rejuvenated of the Ahgase in me and I’m so glad for that. I also reconnected with a very good friend of mine who is on a very different path to me and I’m glad. I’m so glad for this book and this author and the events that followed after it.

19. @boba-beom - Airport Crush | TXT (one-shot)

Honestly I was astounded by this fic the first time I read it and the second time and the third time. The feeling never dwindled and I don’t think it ever will. I read this at night and I’m actually surprised I (finally) managed to sleep after reading this. I spent hours just lying on my back just thinking about it. It went straight on my naughty list. One of my favourite (light?) smut fics I’ve ever read. I wanted to see if there was a continuation and so curious about the characters and the events that followed afterwards. It was beautiful and romantic even though the status of their relationship is very ‘quick’ and abides by the ‘pining’ trope shall we say.

20. @kimnjss - Strawberry Kisses | BTS (completed)

Ah look! It’s my favourite fic to reread over and over again. This has become one of my favourite fics period, really. It’s basically a comfort read for me. It’s such a fun and lighthearted fic but it also holds a really deep connection that I just want to cherish. This is a fic to be cherished with your whole entire heart and that’s exactly what I did. I think I could probably write a love story about it if I had the time. Please excuse me while I try to sound less like a nutter for this fic but I can’t. I feel like I need to shout to describe how this fic makes me feel and just the absolute masterpiece that it was. So for that, I love and appreciate you.

author’s note : time to run awayyyyyy but do ENJOY THESE

#bts fic rec #ateez fic rec #nct fic rec #the boyz fic rec #tbz fic rec #enhypen fic rec #enha fic rec #exo fic rec #tomorrow x together fic rec #txt fic rec #got7 fic rec #kpop fic rec

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tiredassmage · 3 years ago

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Character Associations

Taking from an open tag from @earthlystar <3 And I shall also pay forward said open tag, soooo... if you see this and you like it, do it!!! I’m a coward and also a picky eater so you still can’t get food related information out of me though, I’m so sorry.

ANIMAL(S): Whitetail Deer, Unicorns, Horses, Golden Retrievers

COLOR(S): Hunter Green, Wine Red, Pale Blue

SONG(S): Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s, Fire and the Flood - Vance Joy, Starting Over - Chris Stapleton, Valedale Hymm - Folk’ Avant, Deep Water - American Authors

NUMBER: One (my number one beloved, as he is ksnfsks)

DAY OR NIGHT: Night, especially a mostly clear, quiet one, or around sunset/dusk.

PLANT(S): Lavenders, Lilies, Pine Trees

SCENT(S): Lavender, herbs and tea, the light musk of the forest, wood

GEMSTONE(S): Citrine, Emerald, Lapis Lazuli, Opal

SEASON: Autumn/Fall

PLACE(S): The Black Shroud, The Hundred Throes & Chocobo Forest, Anyx Trine, The Rak’tika Greatwood

DRINK(S): Tea, hot chocolate

ELEMENT(S): Earth, Water/Ice, Light

ANIMAL(S): Wolves, Dragons, Black Panthers, Ravens, Crows

COLOR(S): Violet, Wine Red, Black

SONG(S): A Little Bit Off - Five Finger Death Punch, Before You Go & Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi, Under Your Scars - Godsmack, To Hell & Back - Maren Morris

NUMBER: Thirteen

DAY OR NIGHT: Night

PLANT(S): Roses, Douglas Fir, Belladonna

SCENT(S): Leather, cigarette smoke, blood

GEMSTONE(S): Onyx, Ruby, Amethyst, Garnet

SEASON: Winter

PLACE(S): Whitebrim Front, The Seat of Sacrifice, The Ocular, Ultima Thule

DRINK(S): Strong alcohol. Worry about him is probably appropriate. Black coffee.

ELEMENT(S): Darkness, Fire, Ice

#ffxiv ocs #character associations meme

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pendraegon · 3 years ago

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after i sent that ask i refreshed my dash and then came your les mis and red webweaving so. also like. o_o because let it burn, faceless, who we are, and hymm for the missing were some of my favorites (the ones i remember listening on repeat). then again i really loved the entire album so. anyways red, huh? (also i was listening to faceless when i read your answer so that was kinda funny) - red anon

red anon you have my whole and entire heart i am giving u a kiss on the cheek<3

#aoskdkJEOFKFOFJFK this album opened up an entire door in my brain i forgot about like HELP #anon #anonymous

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fakeloveaskblog · 3 years ago

Note

Janus, have you and Remus hung out other then when you go to fake therapy? You should ask him out? Keep it open, maybe not outright ask him for a date but to hang out!

(Words: 2140)

Janus: "Oh you know me anon. I am so totally known for asking people to hang out. Yes me and Remus have been eeeverywhere together /s No we have never hung out.......But I suppose you have been very wise so far. So I shall try and go ut of my comfort zone and ask him he would like to spend time together"

They were in that same spot they always stood after the fake therapy. Where they were supposed to part ways. Remus had his phone out, checking the bus times. Janus knew he had to say something now or else yet another week would pass and he would never have the courage to ask.

"Do ehm is you- fuck-" Janus wanted to smash his head open on a rock. He was a idiotic mess who couldn't even say a simple sentence.

"What?" Remus looked at him with a smile. Jan swore he had specifically practiced that smile so it made him melt internally every single time.

"Do you maybe possibly have anything to do today?"

"Oh yeah all booked up with exorcising demons out of old ladies' houses. you know how it is!" He let out a short screechy laugh "Come on Snakey y'know I don't have a job or any plans on robbing banks right now. Of course I'm free!"

"Noted. Then I am totally not asking you to perhaps do something like going to the movies?"

Remus' eyes widened and he shone up into a huge toothy smile "YES!" He grabbed Janus' hand while flapping with his other hand "You gotta be psychic or something! I've been wanting to see this movie made by a director I'm hyperfixating on but I didn't wanna go alone and my sister is still out of town SO this is great!!"

He didn't waste another second. He dragged Janus with him as he began to very quickly walk while continuing to stim.

All Janus could do was stare at their hands. Their palms pressed against each other. His love's thumb brushing up and down his skin. He had never been happier over forgetting his gloves at home.

His cheeks stayed rosy red the entire walk. It was like walking on air. He didn't even realize Remus was still speaking until they got the cinema.

"-And that's why I thought it would have been better if the hamster had died!" He concluded.

".............Fascinating" Janus replied hoping it was a good answer.

"I know right!"

He looked down and realized they were still holding hands. His happy expression instantly dropped as he let go of Janus like he was made of fire.

"Oh fuck buckets! I should have asked if you were okay with like ehhh touch beforehand! Now you're gonna cut my head off!" Remus gasped out.

"Indeed, I do now hate you and I have already hired an assassin to kill you" Janus replied sarcasticly "It's okay, I promise"

Remus let out a breathe of relief in the most cartoon balloon leaking air way possible. "Neat!"

It was 3 pm on a Thursday so there weren't any people in line. Remus didn't even give his friend a chance to pay for his own ticket. He also got a big ass popcorn and a bag of eyeball candies.

He dumped the snacks into the arms of Janus as his eyes caught on a poster on the wall advertising another movie. He jumped up and down while pointing at it, like the excitement was too much to be contained in his body.

"It's my sister! She told me she would be in this one!" The poster didn't show the actresse's face since she had on a cloke to look dark and myserious (tm) "That's her I swear on the last human tooth I have!"

"I believe you. You could be her perfect stunt double"

Remus shoot his arms out "That's what I've been saying too!!! You really are a psychic! Being a stunt double is literally the dream job! I get to pretend to be killed in so many ways! I get to jump off of buildings!! Sadly she mostly does dramas and romances and all that boring stuff"

"Well I for one would love seeing you get stabbed on film" He held his hand over his heart as he said it.

"Omg snakey!! Thank you!! Means a lot!"

He had that wide smile on his lips again. Janus wished he was able to make him smile like that every day.

"Oh the movie is starting soon! Ahhhh exciting! Horror really is the best genre!"

Janus paled "Horror?"

"Yeah! I told you all about the movie on the way here remember? You're okay with horror right?"

"O-Of course! I have watched halloween alien on elm street like 5 times!" He lied.

Remus chuckled "Sure sounds like it"

They went into the screening room. Ads were running on the big screen. They were the only ones there. Remus found their seats right at the back in a corner. He sat down and triumphantly put his feet on the seat in front of him.

"Look at that snakey! We've got the whole room to ourselves! Only...."

His eyes suddenly stopped and shifted to stare out into air. His happy expression slowly disappeared leaving a hollow look on his face. He moved his legs up to his chest and sat completely still.

".....Only us......"

Janus slumped down in the seat next to his. Remus leaned away in his seat so he was further from his friend.

"Indeed. I could poison you and no one would be here to stop me. But I won't...yet" He hoped a joke would make his love lighten up again.

Remus forced a halfhearted smile "Sure that"

The movie started. Janus was already stress eating popcorn from fear by the time the first scene had ended. Which only made him even more stressed over making Remus think he was a fat gluttonous disgusting mess! Which he was! But he didn't want him to know that!!

Whenever he glanced over to Remus he looked just the same, As if the movie was fucking mamma mia or something.

He didn't want to seem unclassy and close his eyes like a 5 year old so he tried to comb his hair in front of his eyes instead. He couldn't stop his racing heartbeat or his unsteady hands though. He didn't do well to loud sounds. Or screaming voices.

He jumped in his chair at an extra gory scare. The popcorn landed all over his body. His cheeks went red enough to be mistaken for a ladybug.

Remus glanced over at him "You don't have to hide that you're scared y'know. The audience reaction is like half the fun"

"Me? Scared? I haven't felt scared since I buried a body in 1967! This is just how I show my appreciation for movies!" He blurted out the lie in a panic.

His love threw his head back as he let out a loud laugh. He couldn't stop as he buried his head in his hands. His shoulders moved in rhytm to his giggles. It seemed to calm his nerves a bit.

"Holy shit snakey that was such a horrible lie! You're such a dork! I say that with affection I promise"

Janus couldn't help but chuckle along "Dork actually means something really dirty. I know since I was practically married to my dictionary when I was youn-"

"WHALE PENIS! I know!! You're the first one who also knows!"

"I suppose that means we're soulmates now" Janus couldn't help but say it.

"Penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "Yes"

In the movie a man's torso was ripped from his body. Remus flapped his hands. Janus let out a quiet whimper.

"I could infodump a bit if that would make you less scared"

Janus leaned closer to respond but Remus instantly flinched back. He made sure to keep keeping his distance "I would love to hear"

He shone up into a smile. It wasn't quite as carefree and happy as the other ones but it was still his smile and Janus had caused it. It made him feel warm.

He started rambling about the director's other movies and how the themes tied in with this movie. About how the director had studied to be a doctor so he know enough about biology to make all of the gore extra realistic. About how the movie soundtrack's added to the scare even though they were often silly. All while stimming. Sometimes he went quiet to focus on the film while Janus curled in on himself and closed his eyes.

Honestly Janus could have heard him go on for hours but sadly the movie eventually ended. And they eventually got out of the cinema. And eventually the snacks the shared while sitting on a bench outside also ended. And the conversation died out.

It was only around 5 pm but the sky had already started to darken. The streetlamps were getting lit one by one, and a few people were standing in line for the next movie. Janus feared having to say goodbye.

Luckily he didn't have to as Remus quietly asked "Could you like follow me home? The apartement is only 15 minutes and a minor murder spree away"

"Of course!" He replied a bit too excitedly.

He made sure to not walk too close as to not make him flinch again. Remus started to subconsciously hymm on a song after some time of silence. Janus couldn't stop feeling over the moon at the fact that he was hanging out with someone! And he seemed to like him!! And he was in love with him no less!!!

"Snakey I think I gotta admit something kinda dorky-"

"Is it the murder in 1967? We've all been there"

"Actually it was in 1987. Okay but really.....The only friends I've ever really had has been my sister and my ex, and some online friends here and there I guess but we lost contact really quickly. What I mean is that I'm really rusty on this whole friend thing and I'm just glad that you don't get annoyed by my infodumping or stimming or....or the whole me!"

Janus' eyes widened and he slowly let up into a laugh "Oh! Oh I have been so worried for nothing then! I've never had any friends, at all! This was literally the first time I ever went to a movie with another person! We're the same!"

Remus giggled "We really are penis soulmates!"

"I am begging you to not let that become a thing"

"Too late! It already is! We're both friendless dorks you motherfucker!! Of course we're penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "I am suddenly so glad we are close to your place so I can get away from you.....That was a lie"

Remus lightly punched his shoulder "Better be. Or else I'd have to kidnap you!"

He stopped in front of a series of building of obviously quite glamorous apartements. Janus was honestly starting to wonder if he had a sugar daddy and or sold drugs. Or else he had no idea how he could afford all of this.

They stopped right in front of the entrance. Remus crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Janus fiddled with his sleeves. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye.

Janus shuly glanced at his love's face. His birtmarks which he so wanted to press kisses to. His fluffy hair he would love to nuzzle into. His full lips which he thought about running his finger over every time he looked at them. He was beautiful. Just beautiful.

"Sooo....I guess I will either see you in hell or in fake therapy next week?" Remus asked.

"For sure"

He awkwardly opened the door "Well I will see you then then!" He did fingerguns "Bye penis soulmate!"

Janus rolled his eyes while waving "Bye.....phallus companion!"

The door closed and he was left in the silence. It took a few second and then

"YES! OH I did it! I survived! Aphrodite would be so proud of me!!"

Janus had to sit down. He was going to explode. He couldn't stop moving his hands around. He was going to pass out. He had never been happier. He deserved a whole soup bowl of ice cream.

He took off his beanie to drag his hand through his hair. He felt breathless from happiness as he stared up at the sky. He had never felt more in love.

He looked at where he imagined you would stand if you had a corporeal body.

"So I suppose your advice worked quite well. It did sound like he wanted to hang out again...So anon....or whatever voice that is in my head that asks me things......Do you have any suggestions on what we should do on our next hangout?"

#remus sanders #sanders sides #janus sanders #dukeceit #demus #ask #its 3 am #im gonna go sleep #mini fic

13 notes · View notes

lighthausen · 4 years ago

Text

tma 191 liveblog below cut feat. lots of pauses and daydreaming about a sitcom starring martin and melanie

omg are they waking up? aw is that martin waking up?

Aw did he have a bad dream?

Oh shit sleeping with his eyes open

Not really sleep? Oh his he actually disconnected from everything? I guess he’s sort of in the eye’s range. I hope so

edge of sleep that sucks tho

“god forbid the creepy ever stops entirely” “thank you” lmao

No dreams at Salesa’s aw

Recognizing Celia! Oh! Martin does know her but he can’t quite remember it!

Oh no, he can’t remember it down here. Oh no he’s not gonna remember when he comes out

Ask if she remembers

“and you are” “nope”

Ummmmmmmmmmm

“is that so” wowwww

Names are how they see you? Oh.

The labels that cut you ooof.

Who doesn’t like fae logic

oh thanks for apologizing Jon that’s nice.

Georgie and Melanie are out

cool black beans.

No statement?

Getting Jon food :)

ARUN AND MARTIN INTERACT

I’m glad Martin’s nice about Arun...

Oh, he also walked through it, sharing their power.

“Yes, you are...” oooohhh

“i don’t know what I see when I look at you”

LMao martin, “rude”

“i’m a poet! i speak the truth” AFDJLKSDAFJ

THis is GREAT

*sadly kicks away the arun having a crush on martin fanfic i wasn’t ever actually going to write*

Arun’s right tho, they are mysterious

------------------------------------

and , okay okay, pausing

Does Arun see something different because they saved him or is there actually something different there?

Melanie and Georgie are unharmed by the whole world. Jon is only harmed by things in a dream logic manner. But Martin... he almost got trapped in a lonely domain.

So. He’s different.

I get Georgie, no fear, can’t get caught. But why Melanie?

And JOn said he couldn’t quite see them at the beginning of the season right? They’re described as a blind spot? Why???

Is it because Melanie removed her eyes? Shit, is this gonna be like... birdbox or something?

Unless Georgie’s just been protecting Melanie. Does Melanie have a domain?

Okay okay here are the facts as I see them: The Eye is fond of Martin, gave him his own domain. Jon is able to See Martin.

He is unable to See Melanie and Georgie. They go out often so it’s unlikely it’s just because they’re in a blind spot all the time. They must be a blind spot.

Georgie is probably unable to be seen because her fear was removed.

Melanie is either like Martin (eye is fond of her) she has her own domain... or... Georgie could be looking out for her. Or both. But why wouldn’t Jon be able to see her?????? Is it because she severed her connection with the institute?

And, are they actually immune? Did Martin only get pulled into the lonely because of dream logic but he’s usually safe? Jon’s described as the only one who can walk, so I assume other avatars can’t travel either???

FUck! Fuck,, i don’t know time to play again.

-----------------------------

They’ve been gone a while

Locals getting restless? Oh no, they don’t like them :(

Fuzziness comes and goes?

HE WON’T FORGET EVERYTHING?? i hope not

the simultaneous “i don’t remember”

Are they gonna help? Help with what. saving the world

a bit too much pressure lol

Makes sense if they don’t help bc if it fails...

Layouts different?

Oh? Things wandering about?

What?

ARCHIVISTS???????????????????????????

wait rewind lemme look at the episode

ok Mag53

Ohhhh ohh okay so my takeaways from reading the wiki are 1. there are multiple archives. or other past archives anyway. and 2. Eye monsters. spoooky.

alright time to play again

oohhohnoh not the first archivist

some lingered?

the panopticon calling? Oh shit

we’re gonna meet more beholding avatars!!

Oh, wait what about the travelling thing? I guess they can travel then, huh. *shrugs*

If- when we defeat the eye :’0

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU

OHH NOOOOOO

we’re having this conversation D:

maybe he’ll survive? best case scenario

auuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhh auhghh

If they find a way to destroy them

i’M NOT GOING TO BE OKAY

SURVIVE BUT LOSE SOMeTHING

LEFT OF YOU WIHTOUT IT

DIE

AHHHHHHhh

STOOOP STOP STOP STOP

DON’T TALK ABOUT IIIIIIIIIIIT

*crossing fingers and holding out hope for a combo of ending 1 and 7* fuck fuck fuck fuck

i keep having to fucking pause

“martin when the time comes i need you to promise me you won’t try to stop me” oh god oh god D’:

“I promise. I love you Jon.” “I love you too”

*crosses off an I love you exchange off the bingo card* fuck, that’s a bit early hope it happens again

“But i’m not going to doom the world over it” ahfhhf,

that’s not what you said to that manifestation of yourself in your own domain, Martin.....

oh no

Bad end number 320235: Martin selfishly dooms the world to save Jon

fuck i hate that nooooooooo

oh i shouldn’t of paused there lol

promise me you’ll do everything in your power to live oh my god,, </3

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa “i promise”

fuck “I promise” exchange

i hate these conversations, me too,

talk about the weather, aww,ww,w

i couldn’t understand that last line i’ll have to relisten

Georgie and Melanie time!

GOING TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT?

WHO?

WHAT

WHat

Really sets the mood

Mood for private contemplation??

Who? WHo’s HEE?

Oh it’s the Admiral

ohhhhhhhh okay

Pull him out like the others?

awww

Dream of a giant muderous tunnel cat

“HON”

OH MY GOD

“’HON”

CANON PET NAME CANON PET NAME CANON PET NAME

uh oh... getting involved will only make things worst.............

I just don’t like him lmfaoooo

rought ime of it

HONEY? HONEY?????????????? AAAAA :D

you’re actually quite similar lol

hate consistantly

----

pausing again to dream about an au where martin and melanie are roomates in a sitcom and martin is pining over jon and melanie fucking hates jon and she’s like “you have such shit taste in men,”

Meanwhile, Melanie has a crush on this podcaster and Martin makes fun of her constantly for it until my gosh, they meet! In real life! And hit it off!

And they work together for a bit and become close friends. And then one time Melanie works up the courage to ask Georgie for coffee. Georgie is ecstatic but she desperately needs moral support so her friend and ex Jon goes with her. And Melanie needs moral support so Martin goes with her. And they show up, and due to sitcom shenanigans Martin and Melanie think that Jon and Georgie are a couple, while Jon and Georgie think Martin and Melanie are a couple and everyone is extremely upset about it. Maybe they try and make each other jealous.

Then everything clears up and they all laugh about it. But will they find out about each other’s real feelings? Find out in the next episode!

---------------

okay okay okay back to the episode lmfao

What can they do for them? OKay can’t find a way

Things down near the stairs?????? THe what??

Doing it again??? Doing what?

Overcompensating, ahhh!

Not even if it was just the two of us aww

Oh, Melanie, even a small change aww

YOU CAN GET BACK TO THE PODCAST DFLJSDFJL

nightmare zone of shitty ad reads

RECORDING ONE WHILE RECORDING ONE

plot twist, georgie caused the apocalypse with that script

ARUN’S LATEST HYMM

bully arun time

jon and martin unsupervised lol

i want my cat back aww

well that’s it. The magus archives is a podcast.

#tma spoilers #wow #tma liveblog

4 notes · View notes

doubleattitude · 4 years ago

Text

Larkin Dance Studio

The Dance Awards, Las Vegas 2016: RESULTS

High Scores by Age:

PeeWee Solo

10th (3-way tie): Josie Lutz-’Walk The Walk’

Didn’t Place

Lillian Brady-’The Show’

Mini Solo

8th: Isabella Jarvis-’Dream On’

9th (3-way tie): Ava Wagner-’Winter’

Didn’t Place

Isabelle De St. Aubin-’A Star Is Born’

Adrianna Crawford-’Roxie’

Maria Neely-’Angel Over Me’

Diego Garcia-’Speechless’

Sidney Leciejewski-’All That Jazz’

Sophia Jurkovich-’Another Way to Die’

Charlotte Bosacker-Kass-’Annabelle’

Cameron Redpath-’The Stage Is Bare’

Kayla Truong-’Bang Bang’

Cecilia Thielen-’Bombastic’

Keira Redpath-’The Greatest Star’

Ashley Braun-’Forgive Me Love’

Melkamie Setnes-’His Eye Is On The Sparrow’

Israel Zion-’Hokey Pokey’

Lilliana Caffari-’Pop Drop and Roll’

Kylie Broberg-’I’m Available’

Ashley Gutz-’Show Off’

Alyssa Truong-’Last Moment’

Isabella Crawford-’Runway Walk’

Corryn Harvieux-’Where Is It Written’

Emily Fleetham-’Word Up’

Alaina Larson-’Beautiful Like Me’

Diarra Chatham-’Control’

Daniela Garcia-’On Eagles Wings’

Rachel Zillig-’Hallelujah’

Grace Frey-’Revolution’

Noelle Bjork-’I Want To Be A Rockette’

Sydney Sticha-’Weeping Strings’

Colin Benning-’Lil Man’

Alaina Bader-’Lily’s Theme’

Junior Solo

10th: Lauren Sklar-’Scherzo’

Didn’t Place

Olivia Penticoff-’Atmospheric’

Kendall Lewis-’Breathless’

Alexa Adams-’Strength’

Elizabeth Perelman-’Quenn’s Speech’

Sara Gutz-’Dangerous’

Miranda Shaughnessy-’Mein Herr’

Mackenzie Hall-’Tens’

Alicia Gan-’If I Had My Way’

Beau Leoplold-’Reflections’

Rachel Harris-’The Last Moment’

Ava Gerst-’Voices’

Ashley Truong-’Turning Pages’

Skyla Ward-’Dreams’

Bennet Espinada-Banick-’For You’

Lauren Olson-’Golden’

Teen Solo

7th (tie): Eva Igo-’It’s A Mans World’

10th (4-way tie): Ellie Wagner-’Hymm A’Lamour’

Didn’t Place

Lexi Heath-’Blackbird’

Alex Arce-’Slip’

Emma Klinzing-’Fly Before You Fall’

Paulina Villanueva-’Secret Garden’ (?)

Catie Sjoquist-’Affliction’

Emma Marx-’Lonely’

Olivia Nelson-’My All’

Kevin Avila-’Miss You’

Joshua Ukura-’Caught Up In the Sea’

Maddie Kasel-’Sands’

Lexus Johnson-’Try A Little Tenderness’

Lauren Busyn-’Long Days’

Sydney Ronneberg-’When Love Goes Wrong’

Ally Nelson-’Eternal Flame’

Senior Solo

1st (tie, $300): Taylor Sieve-’Grief’

7th (tie): Madison Jordan-’Nights’

Didn’t Place

Alex Anton-’I Will Love You’

Aless Abla-’Loves Me Crazy’

Brittney Ayers-’Goodbye My Lover’

Vanessa Tettamanzi-’Goodbye My Lover’

Peewee Duo/Trio

3rd ($100): ‘Odyssey’

Mini Duo/Trio

Didn’t Place

Isabella Crawford, Adrianna Crawford, Isabella Jarvis-‘Confident’

‘Broken’

‘Wind It Up’

‘The Light’

‘I Can’t Do It Alone’

‘Adam and Eve’

‘Tragedy’

‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’

Junior Duo/Trio

Didn’t Place

Bennet Espinada-Banick, Sara Gutz, Ava Wagner-‘Alive’

‘Stations’

‘Pray For Em’

Teen Duo/Trio

2nd ($200): Taylor Sieve, Ellie Wagner-’The Edge’

4th (3-way tie): Eva Igo, Catie Sjoquist, Ellie Wagner-‘The Falling Sea’

4th (3-way tie): Eva Igo, Alex Arce-‘As Long As You Love Me’

Didn’t Place

‘Marathon In Roses’

‘Bricks’

‘Unsteady’

Senior Duo/Trio

Didn’t Place

‘Let It Go’

PeeWee Group

Didn’t Place

‘Glory’

Mini Group

4th: ‘Forget About The Boy’

Didn’t Place

‘Red Dress’

‘Downtown’

‘Listen’

‘Hey How You Doing’

Junior Group

5th (3-way tie): ‘Memories’

Didn’t Place

‘Wild Is The Wind’

‘Breathe’

‘Rule the World’

‘My Faith’

Teen Group

5th (4-way tie): ‘Love Story’

Didn’t Place

‘The Last Word’

‘Hold Me Down’

‘My Squad’

‘Until The Leevee’

‘Confident’

‘Forgiven’

Senior Group

3rd (tie, $100): ‘Now That You’re Gone’

Didn’t Place

‘Strong’

‘Panda’

‘Ne Me Qui Te Pas’

‘Tremors’

Mini Line

4th (3-way tie): ‘Stars and Stripes’

Didn’t Place

‘Azillion’

Junior Line

2nd ($200): ‘Dreaming Awake’

5th (tie): ‘Flight’

Senior Line

Didn’t Place

‘Break The Silence’

‘I Found’

Mini Extended Line

2nd (tie, $200): ‘Better Have My Money’

Didn’t Place

‘Bathing Beauties’

‘Fire’

‘Rotten To The Core’

‘Rhythm Nation’

Junior Extended Line

4th (tie): ‘Liza With A Z’

Didn’t Place

‘Tango’

Teen Extended Line

Didn’t Place

‘No Flex’

‘Shapes’

‘Body Language’

Senior Extended Line

1st ($300): ‘We Have It All’

3rd ($100): ‘Carry On’

4th: ‘Hello’

Teen Production

2nd (tie, $200): ‘FOSSE’

3rd (tie, $100): ‘Icons’

Didn’t Place

‘A Soldier’s Heart’

‘Chess’

High Scores by Performance Division:

PeeWee Lyrical

2nd (tie, $200): ‘Glory’

Mini Ballet

1st ($300): ‘Stars and Stripes’

Mini Specialty

2nd ($200): ‘Bathing Beauties’

5th: ‘Red Dress’

Mini Hip Hop

2nd ($200): ‘Better Have My Money’

4th: ‘Downtown’

Didn’t Place

‘Azillion’

Mini Tap

5th: ‘Fire’

Mini Contemporary

5th: ‘Wild Is The Wind’

Mini Jazz

5th (3-way tie): ‘Hey How You Doing’

Didn’t Place

‘Rotten To The Core’

‘Rhythm Nation’

Mini Lyrical

Didn’t Place

‘Listen’

Mini Musical Theatre

1st ($300): ‘Forget About The Boy’

Junior Hip Hop

2nd ($200): ‘Flight’

Junior Contemporary

4th (tie): ‘Dreaming Awake’

Didn’t Place

‘My Faith’

Junior Musical Theatre

3rd ($100): ‘Liza With A Z’

Junior Specialty

2nd ($200): ‘Memories’

Didn’t Place

‘Breathe’

Junior Jazz

4th: ‘Tango’

Didn’t Place

‘Rule the World’

Teen Musical Theatre

1st ($300): ‘FOSSE’

Teen Lyrical

2nd (tie, $200): ‘A Soldier’s Heart’

Didn’t Place

‘The Last Word’

Teen Hip Hop

2nd ($200): ‘Icons’

Didn’t Place

‘No Flex’

‘My Squad’

Teen Contemporary

Didn’t Place

‘Shapes’

‘Hold Me Down’

‘Until The Leevee’

Teen Ballet

1st (3-way tie, $300): ‘Love Story’

Teen Jazz

Didn’t Place

‘Confident’

‘Body Language’

Teen Specialty

Didn’t Place

‘Forgiven’

Teen Tap

Didn’t Place

‘Chess’

Senior Contemporary

3rd (tie, $100): ‘We Have It All’

4th (4-way tie): ‘Now That You’re Gone’

Didn’t Place

‘Strong’

‘Break The Silence’

‘I Found’

Senior Hip Hop

2nd ($200): ‘Panda’

Senior Specialty

4th (tie): ‘Carry On’

5th: ‘Tremors’

Senior Lyrical

5th: ‘Ne Me Qui Te Pas’

Didn’t Place

‘Hello’

Specialty Awards:

Junior Outstanding Technical Achievement

‘Dreaming Awake’

Best Ballet Performance

‘Passacaglia’

‘Love Story’

Best Musical Theatre Performance

‘Forget About the Boy’

‘FOSSE’

Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design

‘Chess’

Best Performance:

Junior

5th runner-up: ‘Dreaming Awake’

Teen

4th runner-up: ‘FOSSE’

Senior

2nd runner-up ($100): ‘We Have It All’

Best Dancer:

Mini Female

Top 22: Ava Wagner

Didn’t Place

Corynn Harvieux

Sophia Jurkovich

Audrey Healy

Adrianna Crawford

Cameron Redpath

Alaina Larson

Keira Redpath

Grace Frey

Diarra Chatham

Noelle Bjork

Isabella Jarvis

Alaina Bader

Josie Lutz

Maria Neely

Rachel Zillig

Mini Male

Top 10: Diego Garcia

Top 22: Collin Benning

Junior Female

Didn’t Place

Kendall Lewis

Alicia Gan

Bennet Espinada-Banick

Miranda Shaughnessy

Alexa Adams

Sara Gutz

Mackenzie Hall

Skyla Ward

Teen Female

Top 12: Ellie Wagner

Top 21: Eva Igo

Didn’t Place

Charliz Ann Baliaco

Abby Welter

Sydney Ronneberg

Catie Sjoquist

Lexus Johnson

Lauren Busyn

Teen Male

Top 18: Alex Arce

Top 20: Eli Smutny

Didn’t Place

Kevin Avila

Joshua Ukura

Senior Female

Winner: Taylor Sieve

Top 22: Madison Jordan

Didn’t Place

Alex Anton

Savannah Johnson

Sally Franco

Senior Male

Top 14: Nico Lonetree

Studio of the Year:

Winner: Larkin Dance Studio

#las vegas #larkin #2016 #tda #the dance awards

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pipesflowforeverandever · 5 years ago

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If you can do a quick summary of your hymms of struggle au please? I can't read very well and is really long.

No worries!!! I try to tell people that it’s fine if they don’t read it, since it’s so long. Before I get started here, I do want to let you and some other people that might benefit from it that there’s extensions you can get for Google Chrome that’ll read highlighted text to you! As of late I’ve been using that a lot to read fanfics, since I love listening but I need constant visual engagement (video games, videos, etc). I use “Read Aloud: A Text to Speech Voice Reader” and it does a pretty good job!

I’m also starting a podfic of Hymns which you can find here. There’s only one chapter read so far, but I have friends that are recording future chapters and I’ll be working on recording too, now that my illness woes seem mostly cleared up and I can spend my weekends having fun. I got a brand new mic and I’m excited to use it!

Listening to that much in itself is still- y know- a lot, so don’t worry if none of this appeals to you.

So with that all said and done, here’s the summary you wanted. Kind of obviously, spoilers for basically everything about the story.

(This summary did not turn out quick at all so skip to the bold headers if its too much.)

Hymns of Struggle is an AU I started before chapter 4 with it being based only on the canon of chapters 1-3 of the game. It’s about a college-aged woman who falls into the depths of the studio and comes across the circumstances and characters that Henry did before her. But unlike Henry, she becomes convinced that she’s not going to leave anytime soon. So instead of using her willpower to escape- as Henry did- she uses it to survive the experience, especially in an emotional sense. She meets the monsters of the studio and discovers their humanity, and as she holds out hope for them, their bitter perspectives start to turn, and they began to see hope in her in turn.

Sammy is the first to meet her and treats her not unlike Henry; she is prepared as a sacrifice. However, as the ink demon not only ignores this request but heals her injuries (not really but she’s not dying anymore), Sammy comes to terms with this by begrudgingly taking her as his ward, as the ink demon for whatever reason wants her alive. The woman, of course, sticks with him at first only out of fear and morbid curiosity, but eventually they become friends that have genuine cares for each other. A big plot point is Sammy presenting the ink demon as a god before the woman gets any other impression, and so she’s inclined to view him similarly. The other characters- mainly Alice and the projectionist- have a similar arc with her of reluctance before they view her as empathetically as she views them.

The woman is only named in the fic once Sammy asks, which isn’t for a good 20 chapters or so.

Gingie (within the fic simply called the usual Joey Drew) is the main antagonist of the story. About half way through it’s revealed that he is still alive, and not physically changed like the rest, and that the others don’t know about it. Francine has to decide whether or not it is good for the studio to keep it this way, although Joey makes his misgivings very clear. The fic from the second half on shifts to this walking on eggshells of what it means to care about others- if it ignores other kinds of morality like lying and condescending, or if you have to be able to brave for the worst even if you could have prevented it by said lying and condescension.

This is played out in the fact that the ink demon towards the very end is revealed to be an extension of Joey’s deepest desires. Joey can’t control him- in fact often does the exact opposite of what he wants- but the demon plays entirely off of what Joey really wants. The demon makes sure Alice stays where she should. The demon made Sammy blind without his mask of faith (literally and figuratively). The demon fights the projectionist if he decides to leave his maze and find Francine when she goes missing. Joey doesn’t want anyone to be hurt. He’s afraid of what he’s made- the studio being a curse born out of a desire to see his son Henry again, that ended up swallowing everyone inside the building and trapping them for 80 some years. They’re inside his world, and he knows it’s terrifying. He stays by himself, trying to keep himself calm, to prevent something like with Henry happening again to the others and now Francine, who still has her own body, blood, and soul to keep from joining the disfiguring ink.

With Francine there, Joey’s tension builds. He’s both hopeful, as he watches her befriend the others, and he is very, very afraid. It’s not true, but Joey believes Henry is dead from that visit 30 years after he left. He’s so forlorn he can’t bring himself to find his soul in the ink. As Francine finally finds him- the demon bringing her to Joey against the studio itself (another, slightly more controlled extension of Joey’s emotion)- Joey has to decide on the spot to make up a lie that the studio stole his freedom as it stole Sammy’s memory, Alice’s identity, and Norman’s voice. But of course, he wants to know her too. Francine found lovely things in everyone, helped them remember who they were before the ink…who like Joey wouldn’t long for the same?

But as that becomes more and more true with each of her visits, her curiosity about things that don’t make sense become dangerous in his eyes. After Francine pieces together that something must have happened to Henry and Boris (who has never appeared to her), the ink demon abruptly rips her out of Sammy’s arms and at Joey’s feet, where the old man decides that in order to keep what remains of his family- to keep the studio from imploding on itself- she has to stay with him.

With her upset at this, he breaks down and the walls around his chamber fall apart and the others finally see him for the first time. Alice screams at him as he tries to call her his angel, and Sammy breaks down at proof that his god is not at all who he seemed. With everyone all at once screaming at him, Joey uses the curse to push everyone away from him. The remainder of the story is Francine and her friends Sammy and Alice defeating the ink demon, finding out the truth about Henry, and convincing Joey that he can set everyone free after all. In the resolution, everyone becomes human again, Alice/Susie and Francine have their first kiss, and they find Joey curled up and crying in his childhood home, having to come to terms with the fact that he is still alive even after all he had done.

Joey discovers Henry’s daughter, Linda, is still alive and he visits her in a nursing home. Sammy assures Francine that the eyesight he lost in taking his human form again won’t stop him from making her keep the promise she made of showing him every song he’s never listened to.

The series that takes place after is heavily focused on the studio’s survivors recovering from trauma, forgiving, and learning to enjoy themselves. Francine finds herself the caretaker of a real life Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, the young matriarch of people waiting for their surviving families to be found and reunited with them.

LONG STORY SHORT:

Sammy makes friends with a young woman he tried to sacrifice. His memories are forcefully blocked and she helps him find them again.

Alice and the young woman gradually fall in love.

Joey is the secret villain who caused the studio to be cursed and transform people into ink. He loves the studio deeply but assumes a parental role that is toxic- and is the reason Henry left long ago.

Francine gets Joey to realize what he’s doing and he sets everyone free into the modern world, where they have to learn how to live again.

OTHER DETAILS:

How the curse happened was that Joey found a spell that would- in his view- reconnect him and Henry forever. The ritual required Henry’s consent and thus failed; it needed a part of him (like hair or blood) and Joey used the first sketch of Bendy instead. This, combined with his mother’s ashes and his own blood, flooded the studio with ink, created the ink demon, and transformed both the building and the people inside it in a symbolic world of Joey’s unstable, tortured emotions.

Joey/Gingie before the studio’s downfall was very jovial and saw the *most* in everyone. He made people want to make him proud, and Joey believed of himself thanks to his mother that he was obligated to only be the best for the world and his loved ones. This results in a mentality that only perfection and ultimate happiness was good enough, which leads him to success and the beloved role of father/grandfather until Henry saw cracks in the man he laid his foundation/life upon and turned tail as soon as it felt unstable for the first time.

The ink demon is in the role of a god. The story is heavily based on Christian/abrahamic views of religion. Joey is the father, the ink demon is the son, the studio is the holy spirit. All the same, yet all different.

The themes are: the importance of names, being empathetic vs being selfishly loving, religion vs faith, and family. Francine is the color pink, Henry is the color blue, Joey/magic is yellow/gold, green represents the world outside and freedom, and black is the ink demon and the curse.

#long post #ask box #hymns of struggle #hymns summary #tak talks #come on down to recording town #batim au #batim #im doing my best to be done bc i can add more but for a summary i shouldnt afdsdsfsfd #im more than willing to answer questions and expand on stuff if you ever want btw #and if you ever want to read just a little but not a lot? any of the drabbles are fine #theyre all about joey and henry being family before shit gets messy #anonymous #Anonymous #writing musings #summary

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