#I love how u wrote their subtle interactions and how they both picked up on each others vibes omg

[1-800-i-ship-it]

OMG WHAT FOR ME Im so honored omggg

TYSM <33

And When You Go Away

Batman and Nightwing did not work together frequently. That wasn’t to say they didn’t see each other. Or interact. It was hard, really, as they both worked with the Justice League now, to avoid the other. Just as it was hard, for Bruce at least, to pretend like they were mere acquaintances. Barely colleagues, hardly friends. Definitely not family. Not since Bruce had messed it all up. It hit him especially hard at times like these, when lives were on the line, and everyone was called to action, and Nightwing stepped up to lead. The way he always did. The way Bruce had trained him to. 

“We need a perimeter here, here and here.” Nightwing placed his fingers on the map, derogating quickly.  “Superman, I need an immediate evac of the West side,” Clark nodded, and was out the window in a flash. “Green Lantern help out with that, Flash, and any speedsters, I need you over in the North. We can’t leave any civilians in danger.” Superman, Green Lantern, Flash, the other speedsters, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, all the older, more experienced, founders, all nodded, all obeyed his orders.

“Batman,” At his name, Nightwing finally hesitated, slowed, a break in his otherwise perfect mask. “Batman, you and me will defend the front.” He finally settled on, not looking up from the plans. If any other hero caught the repetition or hesitation, they didn’t show it, zipping off to follow their own orders.

Bruce fell into step beside his son Nightwing as he marched for the doors, heading to the front of battle. “I can be somewhere else.” he offered quietly, barely louder than a whisper, definitely not loud enough to be heard above the din of battle and battle preparations.

Still, Nightwing scoffed, charging his escrima sticks with a quick pump of his arms. “Don’t insult me. I can be professional. Besides, it’d be stupid to waste an asset somewhere else.” Bruce took the blows without comment or wince, merely nodded.

Despite the distance, despite their recent… space, it was almost scary how effortlessly they fell back into routine, fighting side by side the way they used to.

Nightwing called out “Back!” and suddenly he was eleven again, bright red shorts on and a massive smile, as he instructed Bruce to bend forward, the way his father had used to, so he could use him as a springboard against oncoming attackers.

It was a testament to Dicks skills that Bruce hardly felt him, a gentle brush of fingertips on his shoulders and then he was gone, soaring over his head, fists slamming into threats, shredding them apart.

The battle was over quicker than expected, and Bruce almost forgot, almost wrapped Dick in a hug, almost joked with him. But the flash of blue was jarring enough so that he caught himself, pulling away.

“Nice work Nightwing.” He muttered gruffly instead, ignoring the way Nightwing arched at the words, chest puffing out, standing taller on instinct, before he clamped it down, slouching once more.

“Yeah. Thanks. You too.” He bit out, before stalking off towards Flash and Arrow, a dismissal that hurt more than Bruce thought it would, after so many.

He slunk off to the other side, helping to tie up loose ends and clean up, before retiring back to the cave. He almost waited, head tilted to listen for the sound of a roaring engine, before he caught himself, slipping off the mask and cape, and draping them over a chair.

“Did you see Master Grayson today, Master Bruce?” Alfred asked, balancing a tray of tea on the table, trying, and failing, at subtlety.

Bruce rubbed his chin, staring at the empty white lenses of the green mask, illuminated in the display case. The light of the cave reflected off the glass, and Bruce swore the red seemed almost… blue.

“Master Bruce?” Alfred repeated. Bruce started, wiping at his eyes as he cleared his throat, turning.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sorry Alf...” He headed to the table to grab a cup of tea, glancing back only once.

The edges of the mask were crinkled, as though the phantom ghost of laughter still haunted them. “Yeah. I did.” 

@1-800-i-ship-it -you asked for bruce and dick, and you shall recieve! It's not entirely a long fic, or very detailed, but I tried, and was inspired by the song "sunsetz" by cigarettes after sex, i think it really works for Dick and Bruce. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I made your day at least a lil better :) hopefully at least not worse lol

[rev-wrath]

I've seen a piece of fanart about the in-universe Gothamite's guide to ships Bruce is part of and it got me thinking about that with the albatross duo (who are looped together cause have u seen them interacting with each other. like they'd ever break off their bond). The average Gothamite discusses the duo's potential/speculative third on at least a bi-weekly basis cause there's literal no other gossip in the god-forsaken city-

I think the most popular person that they're shipped with is Harvey- both pre & post Two-Face. Older Gothamites remember seeing the three of 'em running about the city when they were all pups and younger ones saw pictures and tabloid articles about Harvey and Bruce and R. Post Two-Face tho... it's childhood friends + doomed lovers and just tragedy all around so it's still a popular ship I think.

Some other ships include- one with that Metropolitan Journalist, Clark Kent- who's the only one to have gotten an interview with both their pathetic lil mew mew Bruce Wayne and his knight R, at the same time. And the fact that he left the grounds of R's mansion wearing very different clothes from when he first came to the city really didn't help. (Batman needed help from Superman for a thing, and one event led to another and ruined all of Clark's clothes. It was only by pure chance that R had spare clothes in the man's size in the storage.)

Another one is with Batman, the city's Dark Knight. Now, R and the Bat think they're being subtle but everyone knows they chase each other across the city's roofs. Some people speculate that R's being unfaithful to Bruce but that's like a minority opinion (Alfred laughs at that when he unwittingly comes across those kinds of posts).

Post JL formation though, the duo- as they're the main investors for the League ofc- would get shipped with. So. Many. Of. The. Heroes. Superman? Yeah, everyone's seen the way he carried Bruce Wayne out of a building princess-carry style. And the way he caught R whilst they were falling from a high place. Wonderwoman? She curls around protectively around the both of them during press conferences. The Green Lantern? The Flash (Barry and R have a laugh at that)? They all play into it tho. Maybe there is an underlying attraction there somewhere or maybe they're focusing the attention (of being many superheroes' 'weaknesses') on R + Bruce bc they can protect themselves.

Post Damian introduction tho, I feel like Talia would become more and more of a popular candidate for their third. She does linger around Bruce and R often, and later on it would be more of a public knowledge that Talia is Damian's birth mother so they all speculate that the three of them were in a secret courtship when Bruce and R were both out of the city.

The kids all have their favourite candidates and they make their picks known on Twitter.

(Did u know I had this ask in my mind last night and I wrote in my notes tell myself to send it to you in the morning bc I know that our short timeframe together is around that time)

I love all of this.

Everyone not involved has a stake in it. R gets dragged into YouTube compilation with Bruce. “The Prince and Knight of Gotham being the IT COUPLE for 6 minutes”. Then it expands into “A Deep Dive into Gotham’s It Couple” which then continues into who they’re potentially dating or hooked up with up. There’s a casual comment from the commentator about how they wouldn’t mind being a third.

The kids hang it over each other’s head anytime something happens. Jason would vote Diana but thinks she’s too good for Bruce so he’s with Damian in the Triple Parent team. Dick is with Clark and always has been. As a bit they do also say Batman isn’t any good for their parents, knowing that Batman is literally one of their parents.

[inkykeiji]

Hi clari im sorry for ur loss, ik its hard nd im sending lots of love and hugs. i hope u dont mind im asking a question i feel so selfish asking bc ik ur having a rough time :/ but im struggling with my anxiety and overthinking lately. the guy i like isnt a big texter; he txts me 1-2 times during the day and at night when he gets home just to say hes home (he is very busy) but i need more reassurance nd im trying to be cool bc ik he likes me too. how do i not be bothered? how do i not overthink?

hello sweetpea, thank you so much, i appreciate that and you a lot <333 that’s alright, i enjoy helping you guys and i also need the distraction!! i wrote u a novel below the cut, but keep in mind that this is just my personal opinion and you, of course, do not need to take my advice at all! <3

okay SO. in my opinion, trust, honesty, communication and compromise are four of the most important things in a healthy relationship—ANY relationship (romantic or platonic etc). if you need more reassurance, you need to vocalize that. he isn’t a mindreader, and he isn’t going to know it’s bothering you if you don’t tell him, right? i know that this can be very scary, and i also know that it’s a delicate subject that must be approached with caution and care. you don’t have to flat out say “i need you to communicate more with me” if you don’t want to, if you feel that’s too blunt or too forward, but (in my opinion) you need to clearly and honestly articulate your needs. and it’s better to do this early on in a relationship as well!! you build habits together, you adjust certain bits and pieces together to make it work—relationships ARE a lot of hard work, and they’re a two-way street; both parties must put in the work to build and maintain it, right??

it’s hard for me to say how you should go about articulating or expressing your needs, because i don’t know this guy. i don’t know if he’s someone who will pick up a more subtle suggestion or if you need to literally spell it out for him—in either case though, be as clear as you can in your communication. tell him honestly that you want to interact more. please, my sweet anon, don’t hold back because you’re worried about coming off a certain way. if this is bothering you, you need to address it—your needs are valid, too. if he truly cares, he will compromise as well. it’s not like you’re out here asking him to text you every minute of every day—you understand that he’s busy, and that’s great!! that is already you compromising in a way, you know? you aren’t expecting too much of him or asking for something impossible here. communication is important!!

so, my advice would be to either (depending on the type of person he is) suggest or overtly bring to his attention that you’d like to talk to him more. think of some ways he can interact with you more without it detracting too much time from his busy schedule—because, in all honesty anon, you deserve someone who will make time for you. you deserve someone who will put in an equal amount of effort into the relationship, even if they’re very busy. my boyfriend and i are currently drowning in work, but we still manage to make time for one another, because we are important to each other.

an example of a suggestion you could make could be a phone call/facetime call a few times a week for like, i dunno, half an hour? 45 minutes? the time is up to you, really. but calling, for example, is a lot more personal than texting, and i think you’ll find the reassurance and satisfaction you’re looking for if you can speak to him like that a few times a week or whatever works best for your current situation. but that’s just one example!!! maybe, instead, you can somehow work out seeing each other more often than you already are. either way, you’ll need to come up with scenarios that work for your specific situation, you know??? maybe you can even come up with them together!! you could say to him ‘i’d really love to talk to you more’ and then even suggest that the two of you brainstorm some potential solutions together. if his commute home from work takes up a substantial amount of time, suggest that he call you on the way home! things like that, you know? if it’s possible, things you can already work into your daily routines. compromise!

i think the biggest and most important point here, though, is that you should clearly voice your feelings. he deserves to know that you’re struggling, and you deserve to remedy this situation and be happy in your relationship. trust that he will understand and trust that the two of you can work together to find accommodations. be honest with him about what’s bothering you—or just that you’d really love to speak to him more.

i know anxiety makes us very scared and often times will plant seeds of insecurity and doubt (and then nurture, feed and water those seeds until they grow into weeds) but ultimately you are in control here; dig those yucky little seeds out before they can start growing and taking root. your anxiety is only one part of you, and you are so much more than that (i tell myself this frequently when it comes to my mental illness as well!! i’m not sure if it’ll help you, because we all deal and cope differently, but sometimes when my anxiety or my illness is really pissing me off i kinda tell it to shut the fuck up and remind myself that i’m in charge of my mind. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t! but it’s the truth). the point i’m trying to make here, though, is that while overthinking is of course not good or healthy, asking ‘how do i not be bothered/overthink’ is just putting a bandaid on an issue that you should work out sooner rather than later in your relationship. honestly sweetpea your guy probably thinks everything is fine and dandy!!! and he will continue to think so until you voice your thoughts, right? he would want you to be upfront about things that are bothering you, just as i’d think YOU would want HIM to be upfront about something bothering him, that way you can work through it together early on and find a solution that works!!

aaah i hope this advice helps you a little <3 i love u and i am rooting for you!!!

[rvmmm21]

Could u please consider a yandere wenseulrene story where Irene and Seulgi are aggressive/obsessive and tries to play nice but eventually just pins Wendy and takes it from her whether she like it or not ? Thank u so much !

oof yes i can try. seulgi’s a new one for me haha. it’s been a little while since i wrote yandere. (i don’t condone this irl! just fiction).

[yandere!seulrene x officegirl!wendy]

tw : noncon, harassment.

...

For the most part, Seungwan could ignore it. The passing compliments, little winks here and there, the ‘accidentally’ brushing themselves up against her when they were waiting for the lift. If it were anyone else, these not so subtle hint drops and attempts at flirting wouldn’t have stood. But Son Seungwan was the kindest girl at work, shy and non-confrontational, making herself the perfect target, heaven-sent, for the disturbing infatuation of her two creepy, obsessive managers.

Bae Joohyun and Kang Seulgi; for two women who worked hand in hand to run a nation-wide corporation, you’d expect them to know how to share by now.

Of course, it was all happiness and sunshine when they had Seungwan alone in their office to discuss the monthly revenue or any potential liabilities; the women were content to share amongst themselves. But it came to a point where any interaction between Seungwan and anyone who wasn’t either Joohyun or Seulgi was downright unacceptable. Stealthy pupils would follow her every movement every day, stalking from the shadows, the sound of someone else making Seungwan giggle or sigh igniting a raging jealousy deep within. Call it frightening naivety, but Seungwan didn’t really pick up on any of it. Not initially, anyway. But very slowly, she began to pay closer attention to what lay behind those eyes, the hidden suggestiveness when they had her in their office for something as simple as a cup of water, the creepiness behind those ‘you look really cute today, Ms. Son’s’ and ‘you should wear that more often’s’ that should’ve been blaring red alarms in her face a long time ago.

However, not having been the subject of an obsession this strong before, Seungwan was at a loss when it came to how she’d handle it. Could she just tell them to bugger off and leave her alone? Of course not! There was no way on earth she was going to be rude to her superiors; plus, personal inclination aside, she really wasn’t planning on getting fired anytime soon.

It was all part and parcel of being an adult in the workplace, wasn’t it?

… …          

It was late, and Joohyun had the younger woman wrapped in her arms as they sat on the sofa, just talking, like they did almost every night. After a while, Seulgi shifted to face Joohyun, who hummed questioningly.

“Unnie… Seungwan seems pretty blur. Have we not done enough? Is she purposely ignoring us, do you think? I’m getting tired.”

Seulgi watched as a familiar darkness flickered in her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Quite probably, yes,” she replied, pushing herself up and away so she had space to think. Furrowed brows, chin in palm and a fixed gaze meant that Joohyun was in action-plan mode, and the other girl couldn’t stop her growing smile as she waited for a taste of her girlfriend’s brilliant mind.

Seulgi waited till Joohyun had finished before chipping in, “Oh my… you don’t think that’ll scare her too much? She seems so fragile.”

“She just needs a little push,” the latter insisted, already devising another potential plan, “sweet girl like her? Probably hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. We’ll show her how it’s done.”

“Hm, okay yeah. Little push,” Seulgi parroted, slowly nodding.

How ‘little’ that push would be, however, was entirely dependent on how easy their victim made it for herself. They were quickly losing their patience, despite having done everything right. They’d been nothing but nice thus far, so if Seungwan still wasn’t chomping down on the bit, they’d just have to yank harder on the reigns.

Enough playing nice.

… …

It was past 5pm, and everyone had left.

Except for Seungwan, naturally. Joohyun had given her work to keep her back late after everyone had checked out.

“Such a good girl,” Seulgi whispered, both of them watching the back of their hardest worker through a creek in the door, “no complaints?”

Joohyun shook her head. “Not one.”

The task she’d been presented with wasn’t difficult. It was just filing. Something they both knew Seungwan was miles too overqualified to do but was simple and time consuming enough that she’d be the last one in the building. If the girl was upset or offended in any way, she certainly did a good job at hiding it, because she’d just accepted the work with a graceful ‘of course, miss’.

Joohyun secretly smiled. Sweet girl really did take whatever came at her.

… …

“All done, miss.”

The bright voice had both women snapping their attention to their pretty little employee, who was stood in the doorway, neat pile of folders balanced in one arm.

“Ah, very good,” Seulgi said, swiftly transferring the folders over to the desk as the other woman rounded it, leaning against its surface, long, lean legs crossed over one another and an imperceptible look on her face. It was an extremely attractive look, no lies, but Seungwan felt a quirk of unease at the way her manager’s eyes were studying her so… thoroughly.

The girl did her best not to let her eyes linger anywhere inappropriate for too long.

“Uh…” she paused to clear the thickness in the throat, anxiously twiddling the sleeves of her cardigan behind her back, “i-if that’s all, may I be excused?”

“Not quite, Ms. Son,” Joohyun said, arms crossed out in front of her, creasing her suit jacket ever so slightly, “please shut the door.”

Confused but complicit, Seungwan did as she was told.

“Lock it.”

“Oh s-sorry, wh-what?”

It only took about two seconds of silence before she ended up clicking the lock into place, the nervous pang in her stomach, wrenching.

Both women approached her in an instant, crowding her, more and more until she found herself backed up against the wall, a hollow thud sounding from where she’d hit her head on the faux wood. Seulgi spoke first.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

The girl in question flinched when Joohyun closed the remaining distance between them, reaching a hand up to stroke her hair, lightly, as if she weren’t touching her at all.

Seungwan bit the inside of her cheek, unsure, “I-I’m not sure I understand, miss.”

She suddenly gasped when fingers dug into her jaw, deeply gripping, hard enough to bruise the soft skin. She met Joohyun’s leering gaze with frightened eyes, unable to speak from how strongly the woman was clamping down.

“Hope you enjoyed yourself, sweetheart. Because we’re done playing.”

She never got to ask what that meant. As soon as she opened her mouth, Joohyun’s lips were on hers. Seungwan’s eyes shot wide open and she immediately renewed her efforts at shoving her away, but the older woman couldn’t be budged, not letting up for a second as she stole the air from the girl’s lungs. She didn’t stop until Seungwan was a dishevelled, flushed mess, the arm across her chest, the wall and the thigh wedged between her legs the only things keeping her upright.

The poor thing was just so overwhelmed; every which way she turned was just more unwanted attention from the two people she wanted to get away from.

They didn’t even grant her the opportunity to catch her breath after Joohyun detached herself from her lips. Seungwan panted, trying to pull away, but that only resulted in a firm grip turning her head to the side. It was Seulgi’s turn. The rising panic caused the smaller girl to instinctively struggle but Joohyun’s free hand had already found her wrists, pinning them painfully into the girl against the wall. The older woman sneered at the sight of Seungwan being ravished like this, the power she had over her, keeping her defenceless, absolutely helpless as Seulgi selfishly took what she wanted.

Just for fun, Joohyun promptly gave her thigh a firm thrust, loving the way it elicited a surprised mewl from her, Seulgi eagerly swallowing every sound she made.

This wasn’t a kiss. She’d been violated. Kisses didn’t leave you feeling the way Seungwan felt; frozen with fear.

Just as she was trying to block it out, a hand fell to her hip, flush against the wood she was pressed into. She couldn’t see whose it was, but did it really matter at this point? Cold fingers slipped past the waistband of her skirt, bunching her panties in a fist and giving it a harsh upward tug. Seungwan jerked at the tightness. Then hands, too many to count, roamed all over her body. The touching, the groping; they were all jagged around the edges, punishing and greedy.

Seulgi grabbed a handful of blonde, roughly yanking sideways, exposing the column of her neck. She moved her attention to the girl’s throat as Joohyun kept up her assault, latching on to suck hard, violent marks into pale flesh, ignoring Seungwan pitifully begging her not to. The spots of indigo would be too fresh, too tender to even touch, let alone hide from her co-workers. But perhaps that was the point.

It didn’t progress any further, though. Clearly this was just the beginning. Seungwan was in for a lot more down the line. This was a sneak peak, as you’d have it.

Joohyun and Seulgi stepped back, composed for the most part, admiring their mess of a victim; tangled hair, lipstick smears, uncontrollable trembling. It was a wonderful thing to behold. Poor Seungwan was incapable of supporting her own weight. Her legs, tired and shocked, gave out, and her backside hit the floor. She gave a weak grunt, shakily glancing up at the lascivious women who had given her a gracious little teaser of what else they had in store.

Suddenly, she felt small and scared and confused and so, so helpless.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Teeth Marks, Empty Nest, Picking Ritual | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote a Moth Work writing update, and so here we are again for the final countdown! Today’s post will be covering everything related to chapter 12, 13, and 14. Let’s start with Teeth Marks, which I wrote probably sometime in February.

Teeth Marks marks the third part of Moth Work, called Wings, and the first chapter back in Harrison’s POV. I honestly can’t remember much of the writing process as it’s been a while, so let’s dive straight into the scene breakdown!

Scene A: 

We start in the doorway of Eliza’s apartment where Harrison stands shook because a) his boi Lonan has answered it (scandal) and his mother, who he has been estranged from for the last four years, is also in this apartment (EXTRA scandal). Eliza ushers Harrison inside (and this is probably the only *nice* interaction they ever have, spoiler alert!)

Harrison is very shook, and also a little angry, and also a little confused! He doesn’t know why his mother is here, and doesn't understand why Lonan wouldn’t contact him to tell him she is here.

Him and Eliza get into a bit of a scuffle where Eliza is protective of Lonan and is like “who are you mate” and Harrison’s like hahahHA pardON. This leads to Lonan kicking them both out even tho this ain’t even his house!

Scene B:

We now move to the stairwell right outside Eliza’s apartment where she and Harrison have been sitting in awkward silence! Harrison notices she’s wearing his guardian angel necklace (which Lonan mistakenly took back in chapter 6).

This scene is instrumental in setting up how these two interact, which in short, is not! fun! for! either! They try to be civil but can’t help but be protective over Lonan for different reasons. Eliza because they are now sort of in a relationship, and Harrison because hahaha he’s been there, and also because Eliza is Lonan’s father’s ex! Why!

Lonan interrupts this conversation and him and Harrison have a lil private moment even tho Eliza is standing right there aahaha. Eliza leaves which prompts Lonan to go after her, and we end with Harrison all alone in the stairwell like a proper sad boi.

Excerpts:

I previously wrote some mean things about this chapter and am editing it out cuz we tryna be positive! Here’s some tender romance because why not! For context, Harrison has asked Eliza how much she knows about the nature of the boys’ relationship (she knows nothing!!)

He could tell her the truth. About the polaroids left back in Boston. What it felt like to kiss him underwater. What it felt like to dance with him, his clumsy instep. What it felt like to trace each notch of his ribs in the off moments he’d sleep and how wonderful it was, to touch the places his hunger would go. 

Some more romance because yesss:

He pretends they’re alone at the cabin, somewhere on the water, sharing a sleeve of crackers, looking at the moon like it’s the other’s iris, somewhere where constellations read less like hieroglyphics and more like sonnets. 

Let us move onto chapter 13, Empty Nest!

Scene A:

Harrison sits alone at the dinner table watching a TV show in a language he doesn’t speak. His mother interrupts this *chillin* and they get into a heated conversation.

This ends badly for Harrison, to which Lonan (who is presumably arguing with Eliza in her bedroom) comforts him and yeets the two of them outta that apartment! Knight in shining armour babyyyy

Scene B:

Lonan takes Harrison to chapter nine’s beautiful place (the cove).

They chat about their (fallen) relationship and Lonan + Eliza’s relationship that is apparently now flourishing (hahah it actually isn’t)

This turns romantical very fast!!! I am guilty of self-indulgence!!

Excerpts:

EDIT: I originally had an edit in here saying I didn’t have the mental spoons to edit this chapter which is why I wouldn’t share a lot of excerpts! This was very true haha, as I was amidst the worst mental health week I’ve had in years, but guess! who! tried! to! edit! anyway! This obviously was not the best idea and I pushed myself too hard. This led to me doing some crying and beyond that, a decision to take a few days off of writing (despite the fact that I didn’t want to). I’m feeling great now which I’m so grateful for, but just a note! Anyhow!!

This excerpt makes me laugh because it gives me “lonely man sitting on his porch in the prairies” vibe:

No one eats together. Lonan and Suzanna have already taken their pick, and Eliza eats in her room. Harrison hasn’t seen Lonan since he followed Eliza’s empty trail back into the apartment, and he hears him now, between the drone of infomercials and advertisements on the Spanish TV station he doesn’t even understand. Coming from her room, he can picture him, the way Lonan argues, competitive like he’s trying to win something. Suzanna sits on the balcony, maybe hiding a smoke, or something more ridiculous, new age, like an essential oil pen. Ribbons of grey luminescing in the neon lights. Maybe it’s more accurate to say Harrison eats alone. 

This is the excerpt that I had a breakdown editing lmaooo I think it’s cute tho!!

Somewhere better is a beach. Hidden in a cove, the stones arched over seafoam. In the moonlight, sand glitters, water trills, a night owl in the distance wails. Lonan leads him to the cove’s heart, a bullet of clearing that reveals constellations neither recognize. Lonan’s brought a basket with him, unfolds the checked blanket across the shore. Harrison sits first, and observes as Lonan travels the cove’s perimeter, collecting driftwood as he goes. He stacks them into a pyramid at the shore’s lip, pulls out a lighter.

He starts the fire easily, cups the flame like it’s a jittering organism, coaxes it until it expands. The flame tints his jaw gold, glares in his eyes so they look like blue fire. The night halos around ­Lonan, burnishes the cove walls, turns the sand into a mirage. As Lonan nurses the fire, Harrison traces his face, the violet impasto around his eye. Lonan has always looked like a masterpiece to him, damp black hair that almost looks navy blue, a smile so subtle, it’s almost acquired. He holds the fire so it toasts his chin, his focus a delicate, paternal thing.

Picking Ritual is chapter 14 of the book! I wrote this during reading break, and it’s one of my faves a) because of the title and b) because Harrison and Eliza FIGHT (I’m here for the tea).

Scene A:

Lonan and Harrison get back from their self-care-gone-romantical escapade to drunk Eliza creepily sitting in the dark!! Harrison’s mother has left, which Eliza uses as cruel ammo (don’t we love her)!

This is where we really get to see Eliza’s other side as she gets gaslighty as a response to Harrison’s very true callouts

Scene B:

Later, Eliza may or may not purposefully leave her bedroom door open while mildly unholy matters occur that’s all I’m gonna say about that!!!

Scene C:

Eliza leaves her room to “get some orange juice” (she’s trying to get a rise out of Harrison, which works). They roast each other endlessly until Harrison asks her to play a game with him.

Scene D:

This game is a game of cards, which is actually Harrison choosing four cards (king of spades = Lonan’s father, queen of hearts = Eliza, the joker = Lonan, and a jack = Harrison) so he can learn more about each one he chooses for her.

This is where the chapter title comes from!

Excerpts:

The following is a self-roast because my house does all the following (besides magnets on ALL four corners of dishcloths, there’s currently just one. ;) Lonan in this scene is Fiona in that scene in Shrek 2 where Shrek and King Harold are arguing over dinner (CW: there’s a description here that could be potentially triggering for self-harm!).

Suzanna is gone when they get back to Eliza’s apartment. No jacket on the coat hook. No shoes on Eliza’s straw-woven welcome mat. The kitchen has been picked over, each plate, fork, back in its strangely correct place. Eliza keeps her cutlery in jars, and her pans in the oven, her dish cloths magnetted to the fridge by all four corners, a pristineness that feels chemical.

Just as he’s about to comment on it, a light from the living area flicks on, and underneath sits Eliza, paging through a book in the dark. Spots like wine stains on her cheeks shine glassy under the harsh lightbulb.

“She has a place twenty minutes from here. By the public gardens,” she says, running her fingernail against the ribbed spine of the hardcover. Harrison can’t make out the title. When he stares blankly at her, examining the patches on her skin until he’s memorized of their surface area, she clears her throat and shuts the book. “Your mother?”

“I know,” he says.

“That your mother has a place twenty minutes from here?”

“That you were referring to my mother.”

“So you didn’t know?”

ugh I love Harrison and Eliza arguing it’s my fave dynamic:

Eliza stands, and smooths the silk of her night dress, though one crease continues to bunch. She folds her hand into a fist, and brings it to her mouth, biting on her knuckles as she paces. Harrison and Lonan watch her, and Lonan’s about to step toward her when she nods and directs her gaze straight at Harrison. “Did that upset you?” she asks, peeling a sliver of skin up between her teeth, letting it snap back. “The way I spoke of your mother.”

“I don’t care about anything you have to say.”

Oof oof tensions be RISING:

Lonan knocks on Eliza’s door a half hour later and doesn’t come back out. Harrison watches the shut door like he can break through it from the couch, how heavy it sits in its frame like they’ve taken turns smearing caulking in its seams.

The nightglow decolours his chin, his eyes, and he stares at the stars as he did an hour ago with Lonan. He touches his lips, hoping something divine will reappear on his fingers, something divine enough to anoint himself with. Nothing does, of course, but he tries, dappling each groove of his mouth. 

Here’s some Eliza being Eliza :)

He should tell her to buy some curtains. The sliding door’s glass opens to her balcony where his mother stood, pouring onto the busy street below her apartment complex. He can almost perfectly replicate the image of his mother with just his fingertip, a familiarity of her unknown, but unconsciously memorized by him. Suzanna has traded her only pair of shoes—a dingy set of floral flip-flops—for boots with silver zippers, steel toes, heels perfected by a designer she has a connection to. He thinks of his mother with sour precision, a sugary glumness that makes his mouth heavy.

He still wears the angel Lonan re-fastened around his neck and examines it against the belly of the two-seater Lonan once slept on.

She’s lost a stone from where he threw it, almost unnoticeably in the corner where her wings meet her back. He runs his finger over the empty spot, a nearly undetectable groove, and wonders how difficult it would be to find it in the tooth of Eliza’s hardwood.

Just as he’s prepared to get up and find out, the heavy door jars open. Wider than he’s expecting, so he can see Lonan from the couch. Arranged against a pillow, his hair disappearing into the dark wood of Eliza’s bedhead. His eyes closed, a tremor that rocks through his forehead every few seconds. And then quickly, Eliza shuffling through the opening. She wears a kimono patterned with koi fish, the fabric rustling against her bare thighs as she enters the kitchen.

Harrison watches her through his eyelashes, her half-up hairdo falling toward her face, the flash of skin pale, like the peel of the moon.

She grabs a glass he washed and fills it from the sink. Once a bulb forms across the surface, she tips it to her lips, and swallows deliberately.

Harrison watches as she checks the sink for unwashed dishes she knows aren’t there. As she adjusts a placement on her table that doesn’t need adjusting. As she spins herself on her toes around the kitchen island, her kimono splaying so he sees flashes of her thighs again. She dances like this back to her bedroom, where she sets her water glass on the dresser, and keeps the door wide open. 

I can’t not share this part I apologize there is some spice but also Harrison’s iconic Gay (TM) takedown at the end brings me so much joy:

Eliza exits the room a half hour later, except this time, doesn’t dance. Still, she steps carefully, her toes taut as she patters against the floorboards. Harrison watches her with his arms crossed, and stays like that, even when they make eye contact.

She startles and re-adjusts her kimono, so the clip of her skin disappears. She’s combed her hair since she and Lonan finished, and it sits gauzy over her forehead.

“Have you ever thought of buying a deadbolt?” he says, watching carefully as she turns and grabs a glass from a cabinet.

The refrigerator thrills when she opens it, a wash of gaudy tungsten yellowing her face. She sucks on her lip as she pulls out a bottle of orange juice, glugging a cupful into her mouth first, and then into a glass. 

“A deadbolt,” she says, a lightness in her voice—false innocence. “Why?”

“I’ve heard good things. Security. Privacy. You live alone, don’t you?”

She juts the orange juice to her lip fast, her chin bucking like she’s taking a shot. “I do.”

“You’re planning on keeping it that way?”

Eliza drains the last of the orange juice and rests the glass in the sink. She flicks on the tap so a stream splashes into its mouth like somersaults, diluting the juice until the glass cleans.

“There must be someone,” Harrison elaborates. He shifts, so his legs hang off the couch’s edge. The hardwood is cold, and for a moment, he feels like he’s stepping on water. “You’re seeing people, aren’t you? You live in Las Vegas. Good job. Decent apartment.”

Eliza shakes off the wet glass and sets it on the drying rack. “Are you interested?”

“I’m gay, but thanks. How does that work, anyway? Dating you. Would I send in an application? Self-addressed stamped envelope and all? Email?”

ugh more iconic Harrison I love him:

Harrison’s eyes focus on the lip balm and he imagines Lonan putting it there, his finger moving across her mouth and then down, like an anointment. “Isn’t that such a coincidence, then? You’re so selective, yet you manage to date two members of the same family.”

Her smile fades. Eliza clucks her tongue and wipes her mouth quickly with the back of her hand. Thoughtlessly, she refills the clean glass with more orange juice, and only realizes her mistake after the liquid sits precisely at the rim of the cup.

“Shit,” she says, wringing her hand out. “Shit.”

“I’ll drink it,” he says, and is already up and at the kitchen island before she puts another hand on the glass. Eliza almost scowls, but chews on her gums when she catches herself. She slides the glass across the granite, and a blip of orange juice jitters onto the surface. Harrison dabs his pinky in it and sucks it into his mouth. “I want to ask you a favour.”

“I’m not doing anything for you.”

He puts a hand against the fridge before she can move past him, and Eliza sighs, weaves her arms haughtily over her chest. “Cards.” The fridge rumbles to life under his fingertips, and Eliza jumps. “Play a game with me,” he says.

Sharing because of Harrison’s roast at the end, it’s really just one of those days:

Eliza’s a good shuffler. Easily, she dices the cards, the hard split of their edges when he usually shuffles almost non-existent. He’s only ever met one other person who can shuffle like her—his mother.

Harrison sips the orange juice as she shuffles the deck. In all truth, he doesn’t need the cards to be shuffled—he knows exactly which ones he needs. But her ease intrigues him, and he can’t help but feel mesmerized with each flitter of the deck.

“Where did you learn how to do that?” he asks after another long pull of juice.

She cuts the deck and continues. “My father.”

“I didn’t know you had parents.”

“I didn’t know your mother had children.”  

“I don’t think she knows either.”

Eliza rests the shuffled deck onto the countertop and nudges it toward him. He hasn’t told her what game they’re going to play, and as Harrison searches for his necessary cards, the prickle of her gaze deadens. He keeps at task, combing each card and pulling out the needed.             

“I would’ve liked to know.” Eliza says this nimbly. “You look like her.”        

Another pick. “Every son wants to look like their mother. What a dream.”      

“I meant that as a good thing.”

“And I meant what I said as a bad thing.” 

What a way to end this update lol! 

I’ll be back soon with an update for the final chapter in this book! I hope y’all have been okay in these times, I know it’s not easy. Let me know what you’re working on!

--Rachel

[itsthatsillygoose]

Kit, a raggedy ass analysis

I wrote an analysis of forthbeam last week and y'all we're dragging the others to hell saying they weren't as complex so let me prove you wrong starting with Kit ft. a lot of Ming. If u want my summery Mingkit analysis it's the last paragraph on this post but I'll post it separately too:

Something that really intrigues me about kit is his capacity for other people’s attention. We see through out the first series that Beam is quite a ladies man and is seen many times trying to hit on the stars of the university but for Kit this is rare. Aside from Pha, Beam and Forth, Kit is rarely seen interacting with anyone one else closely and think that speaks volumes of his personality. He may be stubborn and sometimes aggressive but I think deep down he's compensating for a lack of security, all he really wants is that resounding feeling of safety and he finds that with in the tight knit friendship between him, Beam and Pha; and perhaps that’s what makes his relationship with Ming so infatuating.

Ming is the very definition of what Kit seems to avoid, he is bold and loud, clumsy with his feelings, a stranger. He's a player and doesn't need that sense of security like the other which seemed to be the biggest red flag to kit during their development. Imediately when the two first properly meet there’s a sense of surprise from the shorter when he finds that Ming still remembers him, and straight away he throws up his guard. Through out at least the series so far it's almost like Kit wants himself to hate Ming or at least he feels like he should; he knows Ming is everything he seeks to avoid and so he tries to act accordingly. He constantly seems frustrated around him but rather than being agitated by Ming, I think what's really bothering him is himself and the way he can't help but yearn for these moments of having the other around. Doesn't make sence right? Surely he'd be happy if he actually wanted to see him? Well you'd figure, but perhaps it causes Kit such anguish as he knows while having Ming around he loses control and he doesnt want to give him self the oppertunity to get to know him or like him as even just a friend,,, and so instead he snaps at him. Again I think this was a really subtle and lovely way of displaying Kits issue; he truly is an increadible example of head vs heart.

I loved looking deeper into these two as they appear to have such a typical dynamic of cat and dog, but I really think the second series explored so much deeper into their personalities and character. I think what is really being portreyed by these two is so much more than just a spunky journey of two boys in love. Really I think that we delve into dealing with the concept of searching for trust and a sense of clarity in not only someone else but yourself too. I do think that kit is perhaps the “protagonist’ of this idea. Ming is very much the big scary monster in the dark for him. Whether Kit had had partners before or not I'm unsure but I think the reason why Ming really affected him so incredibly was that he’d never been loved in such a way, so shamelessly and intensely, especially by someone like Ming. Someone he’s so unalike in so many ways. Really I think their arch isn’t about Ming breaking into Kit's abrasive character but rather Kit searching for truth and a reason to believe in ming and the insecurities on both ends of that.

We see many times that kit is appalled by Mings ways, for example the way ming had so many ex partners, this was such a big piece information to just be brushed over; infact its exactly what knocked kit so far from feeling like he could reach out and grasp onto Ming. Again referring back to before, I think kit really yearns for a sence of safety in everyone he brings close to him, a place to relax, someone he can trust enough to not hide behind his front; he doesn’t care to be played with or used so seeing that ming would throw away his past relationships so readily perhaps triggered that insecurity as he rightly so doesn't feel that sense of security with ming. He appears unpredictable to Kit, almost as if he throws his feeling around carelessly, but we know this isn't true and that in fact Ming is increadibly predictable.

We see more of this when Kit storms away at the beach telling ming to stay where he is (which he does). Personally this is still one of my favourite scenes as it's fucking bursting with emotion and crammed with developing concepts i've already mentioned but it really does just get me every time. There's so much to unpick, it really was the turning point for the two- at least in my eyes. It admittedly does just appear as if Kit got short tempered and barked at Ming who then got upset and sulked, but really the scene is a lot meatier. It was really a big eye opener for kit as though neither of them spoke about what happened, it really felt like they both knew Ming was proving to kit that he takes his word seriously, and isn't afraid to commit to him. Kit seemed guilty when the scene returned to him and the others drinking but when Ming was dragged in by another friend Kit seems shocked realizing he probably would have sat there all night if it had played out that way. Maybe he assumed ming had gone back to his room but the fact he didnt was such a slap in the face. I love this cause Ming stares at him sadly, knowing full well he's proven a point. Kit knows he's upset Ming and realises that rather than Ming not taking the idea of a relationship seriously, perhaps he himself was the one dismissing any chance of something real, some clarity. Maybe he was his own scary monster in the dark. He knows full well that Ming is harmless or else he wouldn't have appeared so guilty when returning to the hang out without him.

The whole beamkit scene where beam pulled a doozy on us and pretended he and kit were dating is another obvious telling of his character, (nines expressions in those few seconds were fucking ace btw, the absolute utter panic swirling into sorry eyes, then a punch in the gut and finally regret) in those few moments alone its obvious that he knows he's done Ming wrong, but if you really look closer there's a whole ugly ass betrayal hiding in there. In the chat they just had in a prior scene, Kit makes a point out of not wanting to get hurt by Ming leading him on only to ditch him for another person, but what did kit just do to Ming? Huh?¿?? Exactly, its easily missed but it's an awesome detail i picked up when diving into this and i have to say it was another perfect example of Kit being flung between head vs heart. Kit's been trying so hard to get Ming to use his head rather than his heart, but by using his own head to try and protect him self Kit's only gone and done the exact thing he was so afraid happening to himself to Ming. I think realising this he understands that even though they're so different and worlds apart, they're both just dumb fucking humans and he shouldnt be so hard on Ming, especially when Ming's been nothing but loyal and honest. Perhaps Kit is scared of committing but he's projecting that onto Ming because he doesn't want to admit it, he only sees what he wants to see because thats all he knows after putting up a front for so long when ever his emotional well being is threatened.

Honestly Kit's really just been his own problem this entire show and he really ought to sit the fuck down and let him self live 👏🏻

Thought it was endearing when he took Pha out so he could get drunk. Obviously getting wasted to forget your problems isn't particularly endearing, but like i said about Beam last week, it makes him feel more human. Especially when Beam shows up acting like the whole beamkit couple thing was a joke (when it clearly wasn't) and Kit's just like fuck you you're so annoying. Smh he really is boo boo that fool. He's just so completey oblivious that his best friend in the entire world is head over heels in love with him, so gullible just believing what ever the fuck anyone says. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt seen as he was drunk but Idk it just tickles me that he's always so tense and always so on guard yet the level of dumbassery is just,,,, how's he gonna be a doctor when he's literally a raw nerve on fucking legs. Bless.

He really lets things bother him, but he's much more readable than beam which we know even just from Phana knowing right away what was up. The fact he hid from Ming when Ming entered the bar(?) too really emphasized how completely not as hard as nails he is despite how he tends to act tough. Thought that was a sweet detail in unravelling Kit's personality and how Ming seems already to have completely knocked his walls down; Kit's not even trying to act like he's unaffected anymore.

We all joke about Beam being an emotional wreck but fr kits really not that far behind. He deals with everything horribly and always seems to make shit worse for both himself and Ming. He just wants what's best for everyone but sometimes that's harder than it looks and he really proved that. He goes into panic mode if Ming so much as breaths in his direction which actually does the complete opposite of intended as rather than seeming tough and cold, it just shows Ming that Kit's easily flustered around him, EG, HE FUCKING LIKES HIM, KIT JUST WRITE IT ON YOUR FOREHEAD AT THIS POINT. He thinks he's so mysterious fr, boy the whole world and it's goldfish has you sussed, who do you think your fooling with that attitude?

Can't not mention the kiss and how sweet that was on Kit's end. After all that mess and acting unaffected, as soon as he sees Ming move towards him he imediately melts back into his big softie boyf as if he'd been waiting a life time to kiss him. He literally called him a 'bastard' seconds before, if that ain't some sort of chaotic then what the fuck is he. Jkjk, back to the point, Kit does this thing where he lies to him self, C O N S T A N T L Y. He's forever telling himself that he's in control, he's forever telling himself that Ming's out to get him, he's forever acting as if he doesn't want anything to do with Ming, but this scene was so satisfying cause it really just ripped everything he'd been pretending to be from right underneath him. He kissed Ming so readily and for the first time in the relationship he actually seemed put together and calm and in control. He's never known what to do with Ming's attention yet here and now with his lips on his all he could do was reach out and grasp on to his 'scary monster in the dark' (Side note i absolutely fucking adore how Kit's gone from being so rough and brash with Ming to being so ridiculously shy after the kiss. I think it's forced him to face facts and he finally realised there was no point in keeping up his walls. Ming knows now, theres no need. It's sweet showing his vulnerable side for once, this is some healthy character development i can get behind.)

You'll have noticed this gradually got less formal and is slowly making less and less sense. That's because as i'm writing this it's 5:40am and the brain juice is running low but the next bit should be a pinch more coherent sorry,

What i love about Kit and Ming's relationship is the whole role reverse as the series progressed. At the beginning we see Kit, part of a solid group of friends and he's comfortable and confident where as Ming's just a new student at the university, finding his feet. We expect him to perhaps be naïve or immature, and yes he's a little clingy but really Ming is one of the most stable characters going and exactly what kit needs despite how he first appeared. Not once has Ming changed his goal of pursuing kit, not once has he fucked up, not once has he ever panicked. Ming- even though he's sulky- is really quite mature with his dealing of Kit. He's honest and really does what ever he can to make it work. I loved the example of this where he backed off after the kiss. It was so so sweet considering how clingy he usually is, and it really shows he takes great time and contemplation when considering Kits feelings and that he has a really deep understanding of how Kit's mind actually works and how he may react. He backs off knowing Kit likes his space and that maybe he over stepped the line pretending to be black out drunk, but again i really love this as this creates that safe space and feeling of clarity that i keep bringing up as it meant kit could reach out in his own time and really come to terms with things without any pressure. It meant that for once Kit would have to make the move to communicate and take a step in their relationship and i think for Ming to take that initiative to really somewhat place their fate in Kits hands for a while was really quite sweet and mature of him. We stan our emotionally healthy engineering boys fr. We come to realise by now that perhaps Kit is actually quite bashful and somewhat of a baby dear when it comes to emotions, charging head first into anything but initially losing his footing right off the get go. But Ming is stable, he is collected and cool and surprisingly gentle. Its really quite tell tale that kit spoke so much about ming maybe lacking in commitment when really he was the one too afraid to commit, he was clearly insecure. This arch really was kit heavy and though i already said what i think their arch focuses on, i just want to add that it also explores growth and becoming a better person because of a relationship. They bounce off eachother in such an interesting way, and so intunely that they cant help but work. Kit never knows what to say or how to approach ming but its okay, Ming has that covered and always comes to find him. Ming's very flirtatious, and kit and easy to fluster. Kit needs time and Ming is patient. All these little north and south traits really just pull together and i love how these two were written with such harmony. I know I've delved way deeper than was ever intended for these characters but i think we shouldn't take for granted the complexity of such a wonderful thing.

This is the reason why i think 2moons2 is miles ahead of 2moons the series. Aside from the cringe music, over dramatic zooms and lingering shots which can sometimes make it difficult to watch, 2moons2 really seeks complexity in each character and i admire that itch to bring them to life as i feel 2moons was increadibly 2D in this aspect. I only really believed in Kit when i watched that series, but 2moons2 really forces you to believe and invest in every main character and i just think as someone who writes that it's rather lovely.

What are your thoughts? Do comment if you have time, I'd love to hear more on these two :)

[flowerconcept-blog]

friends 2 lovers!hyungwon

you and hyungwon technically meet for the first time when ur group and monsta x do a radio show together, but it’s in a very formal way and you don’t talk at all

but both of you pass out in the waiting room before you go on air, and ever since then……. the two of you are always sleeping backstage at events at the same time

for whatever reason your groups end up at the same events frequently, and when there aren’t individual waiting rooms you always notice hyungwon napping right before you conk out

somehow producers pick up on it and in the behind cuts for music shows like 50% of the time there’ll be a cut which is like [video of hyungwon sleeping] [pans to you sleeping] and one of their cute captions like “nap time~~”

your members think it’s hilarious honestly but ur like i’m sleeping because i’m busy…. producing our songs and writing my raps…..please let me live……...

anyways you didn’t talk to hyungwon at that radio show, but you did talk to jooheon and changkyun because you’re a rapper/aspiring producer and you really admire them, especially jooheon!!

even though you don’t think much about it jooheon looks you up and really likes your rapping, and the mx guys always share music with each other so he shows them all your live stages

and hyungwon honestly ….. is pretty taken w/ you … he really likes your music but he also finds you super attractive and because he’s a weirdo he thinks it’s cute that you’re always sleeping when he is.…. but he would never admit that to anyone!!!! like the most he lets on is when changkyun or jooheon talk about admiring your rap on reality tv shows and he nods silently in the bg

the reason you first actually interact with hyungwon is because of jooheon! for an end of year stage the two of you get to collaborate and ur really excited!!!!! you have Big Plans !!! both of you are super perfectionists and stupidly…… you guys decide to write and produce a whole new song ……… which is a big time commitment

so you end up at starship whenever you have spare time (thankfully neither of u are promoting) and of course u see the rest of monsta x, but you end up spending the most time with hyungwon

he’s down in the lounge area by jooheon’s studio a lot and you guys hit it off

which honestly surprised you at first….!! he seems kind of … aloof …. and looks like a model and even though you’re an idol you never got used to being around really handsome people like hyungwon

but after spending approximately 5 minutes with him you realize that he’s actually really nice and goofy and your weird senses of humor go super well together ,,,,,, like within a day you guys have gotten each others numbers!!!!

you bring out his more ridiculous side super easily, and even wonho and minhyuk are impressed because….. hyungwon is naturally pretty shy but with you it’s like you’ve been pals for years

hyungwon rly seems like the type to Love memes of himself and you send him embarrassing photos you find like “why did u do this???” and he’s like “make that ur bg”

it’s a great friendship but ,,,,, when you come over to monsta x’s dorms and watch movies with them and you’re sitting next to hyungwon…. you start to realize that maybe? you want more? with him????

so u start dropping subtle hints and flirting a little and......... he doesn’t really react....... and you assume that he’s not interested in you at all and you don’t want to ruin your friendship

but hyungwon ,,,,,,,,, well he also likes you a lot! but he has no idea how to go about showing it

he’s like flirt????? relationship???? how????? so he doesn’t act any differently except when you aren’t looking he stares at u with heart eyes and everyone’s like…….. hyungwon please

at times you catch him you just think he’s spacing out because he has such a dopey look!!!! you joke about it but the boys are rolling their eyes (kihyun audibly groans) because you’re both idiots……..

literally when you and jooheon do your end of year stage hyungwon is there w/ his jaw dropped like trying to process how amazing and attractive you are….. and the cameraman catches him and you still don’t pick up on it you’re like “aw how cute he’s so proud of jooheon!!!”

as you’re both stupidly trying to deal with your emotions you write a song about your feelings for him!!! talking about how you want to be with him!!! because that’s the way you process feelings

it’s supposed to private but you accidentally…… send the wrong file to one of the producers you’re working with for your comeback…..and they reply like “this is excellent, we’re going to use parts of this for the comeback” and you realize that it’s THE CONFESSION SONG YOU WROTE !!!!!!!!

and panic but it’s too late and they don’t like anything else nearly as much……………………. and you just hope and pray that they cut out the parts that are more obviously about hyungwon and that he also doesn’t notice

the whole time when you’re preparing for the comeback you just tell yourself that there’s no way he’ll realize ,,,,,,,, that you can just play it off ,,,,,,, it’ll be fine!!!! haha

in the end they use about half of your lyrics but your solo rap verse…. which is … pretty obviously about your relationship with hyungwon……. is completely intact

but at this point the producers are certain this will be a really popular song and there’s no way you can be like “jk let’s change the whole thing” without providing a reason

so you release the song :-) smiling the whole time in the mv and comeback stages while :-) inside you want to die :-) 

and hyungwon of course watches the music video and is cheesin the whole time because he’s super proud of you

but as he watches it a second time and kihyun looks over his shoulder ,,,,,, he feels like the memory you’re rapping about is familiar ,,,,,, and kihyun is like “hyungwon this is definitely about you”

which normally?? he would deny except kihyun shows all of the other members the lyrics and they’re each like “yeah i’m pretty sure this is about you”....... he realizes that yeah it kind of seems like it is

he obviously doesn’t know what to do about it but minhyuk is like please just text them to meet up…. please….. so he does

u highkey almost avoid meeting him but you find time in your schedule to sneak out and see him at a 24/7 coffee shop between your dorms

and after hyungwon orders for u two (because he knows what you like) you two go outside and he’s like “sooo……….i liked ur new song….”

and ur really Freaking Out but u go “thank u” and there’s this long pause before he asks “is it about me?”

you freeze and as soon as you do hyungwon’s like  …………………. that was uncomfortable……… sry…….. but if it is i like you too……….. i didn’t mean to say that but…………………….. it’s true

and that’s the incredibly horrifying way you guys start dating but everyone is so grateful you finally got your acts together!!!!!!

kihyun honestly was 0.00001 seconds away from snapping and just telling you about hyungwon’s crush

you tell hyungwon A THOUSAND times you didn’t mean that song to ever be released but he’s like yeah… okay….we all know you just couldn’t resist me ;-)

whenever you meet up you just end up sleeping. you can’t help it!!!! you just love being able to cuddle with hyungwon and you love to sleep!!!!!!

ur super weird jokes continue on into your relationship but you don’t have to talk much to have a good time which both of you value because being in the spotlight so much ,,,,, tires your social skills out

you ask him to contribute vocals on a song because you love his voice and he’s secretly super super touched because he’s always a lil insecure about his voice!!!! both of you are very supportive in little ways, you aren’t intense about it b/c neither of you are that type of person, but you both make sure that the other is healthy and happy and it’s really sweet :-(

[imaginesofeverykind]

Quiet || Peter Parker x Reader ||

Characters: Peter Parker x Fem!Avenger!Reader

Fandom: MCU/Spiderman

Request: Hella yeah bless MY FIRST PETER ONE BuT @rafeadderall ur a gem I lov u [can i request a peter parker x reader where the reader is like super shy and reserved in his class or whatever and then he sees her again but on team cap lol? if u can? love u xoxoxoxox] (Requests are always open guys! Send Em through!)

Prompt: You typically keep to yourself at school, however, you have a secret that no one knows about you. You’re different, Just like Peter Parker was different. You both discover each other’s identity during the epic showdown between Team Ironman and Team Captain America. 

Tags: @rafeadderall (if you want to be tagged to get a notification when I post message me!)

Word Count: 2,902

Spoilers: Na, unless you haven’t seen Civil War then

A/N: Yes so my first Peter Parker Imagine, god bless Spider-Man: Homecoming it was such a great movie!!! This however is based off of Civil War so no spoilers unless you haven’t seen Civil War!

PART 2

Y/N sat quietly in her seat in the incredibly silent classroom. The only sounds were the ever so subtle scratching sounds of pen on paper as the other kids in the classroom attempted to nail their Spanish quiz. Of course, Y/N and one other student had already finished the quiz in record timing. That other student being Peter Parker. Both the two were in the top five percent of students who excelled well in any given task. 

They were also the only two students of the entire school to have secrets. Y/N since she was born was incredibly gifted, gifted with enhanced superhuman abilities and given that she was born with that she was able to hide it, hide it a lot better than Peter could despite him doing a well enough job keeping his Spiderman life a secret. Numerous occasions he was almost caught being Spiderman not just by Y/N but others too, like his friend Ned and Aunt May but somehow he still kept his identity well hidden. 

Peter liked Y/N not necessarily in a romantic way, but he appreciated her wits and intellect. He was nice to her but he wouldn’t go as far to say he had a crush on her, sure she was cute and all but it may have been because she was so quiet and to herself that tarnished that idea from Peters mind. Y/N felt mutually the same toward him, appreciating his dedication and smarts. 

The two locked eyes while waiting for everyone else to finish, offering each other a smile before averting their attention elsewhere. It wasn’t long until the others finished and the room was no longer silent and the students were off to their next class. Chemistry. Today’s Chemistry class was a lot different from the others, this time Mrs Cobwell had assigned projects to the class in pairs.

As luck would have it, both Peter and Y/N were paired and were just as awkward as they were when waving to the other down the hall. Now seated next to each other one would have to initiate conversation eventually seeing as both weren’t extroverted enough for that. Peter gulped and opened his mouth to speak. 

“S-so… uh… we could – we could do this… formula…” Peter pointed at his text book, her eyes gazed down to where he was pointing and nodded. “Sure.” The word slipped from her mouth, she was never a really nervous person, awkward for sure but not nervous. Unlike Peter, she didn’t tend to stammer over her words, but she often found it cute when he did. 

Suprised she uttered a word, Peter was left with his mouth agape and couldn’t form a coherent sentence. His eyes were racing around the room to find his friend Ned for some form of assistance, however, Ned had his back facing him as he worked with his partner Michelle. “Uh-um O-okay cool.”

She smiled and wrote down the formula and how they were to break it down individually before experimenting with the actual chemicals involved. The remainder of the class was spent silently working together, only occasionally exchanging words. Despite her silent demeanour, Y/N was one of the few people that actually understood where Peter’s tangents went, what he was thinking and how he was going to calculate things. 

It was a surprising day for sure, while their little interactions would be more frequent, Peter was glad to have been partnered with Y/N. She too had a unique way of thinking and he could most definitely understand how she thought. It was a little step into a friendship that was sure to blossom after the weekend. 

When school finally finished it was always a rush to get home for not just Y/N but for Peter too. For different reasons of course. Y/N lived in the outskirts of Brooklyn and often was quite the trek to get home within a reasonable time due to traffic and the occasional train delay. However today, her rush to get home was postponed by a call from a familiar old friend. 

Steve Rogers. "Hey - Steve? It's good to hear from you, how is everything?..... you know... you're basically a war criminal now..." she whispered the last bit, she was concerned, to say the least. After hearing of the Sokovia accords and Steve going AWOL. He chuckled over the other side of the line, "yeah - well actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Steve Rogers and Y/N had a rich history, he had met her in the aftermath of the Chitauri attempted an invasion. 

Discovering her abilities and offering assistance to her as she grew older. Y/N developed a strong bond with him given that he was able to relate to what she was going through. Steve, however, kept her well hidden from the other Avengers as she was only just a teenager barely sixteen yet. Despite this, he was fully aware that she was capable of much more than an average girl her age. 

She could take fierce punches and also give them, she was built like Natasha, himself and Bucky. 

“Oh... you’re not in trouble are you?” She frowned, pushing past people on the streets as she made her way back to her home. “well... depends on what you mean by trouble... I need your help.” Steve was calm and collected for someone with a bounty on his head by half of the Avengers. Her eyes widened and she stopped in the bustling street of outer Brooklyn. “My Help? What for?” 

“I don’t like asking you to do this, but Tony isn’t going to stop until I'm arrested until Bucky is arrested. I’ve asked as many people as I can to help us, we have to stop this Zemo guy or else a lot of people could die.” Steve felt guilty for asking a fifteen-year-old girl for assistance, but she was more than capable of helping. 

“What do you need me to do?” She questioned, picking her feet up in a much brisker walk as her heart pounded in her chest. “I need you to be able to help stop Tony and whoever he’s got with him, we need to do this. I understand it’s a lot to ask-.” She cut him off and smiled, although he couldn’t see it, “Steve, it’s fine I owe you anyway, after everything you’ve done for me.” 

Steve was relieved, yet remained guilty, he now had to be extra careful knowing that two of his forming two were young teenage girls. They both could handle it, but if anything bad happened it would be on him. “Just give me the instructions and I’ll be there.” She added, finally reaching her apartment building. 

“Pack your things, Clint and Wanda are on their way to you now.” Steve instructed to which she obliged and raised her eyebrow, “Clint? Clint’s back?” She had never met Clint Barton, but she had heard stories of him, much like the stories she heard of the other Avengers. Last she heard of Clint he settled down with Kids. “Just this once.” Steve assured, “I’ll see you in Germany. Thank you again.” 

“Anything for you Steve.” She hung up and raced to her apartment, trying to explain to her parents a feasible excuse to why she was going away for the weekend. 

The van was crammed with Clint, Wanda, Scott and Y/N as it parked in the sixth bay of a parking garage. It was surreal for Y/N to be meeting some of the Avengers. Clint noticed that she appeared to be nervous, chewing on her lip and looking at things to keep her mind at bay. “Hey, Steve’s told me great things about you, kid. You’ve got this.” He assured her, which made her smile. 

“Speaking of, here they come now.” Wanda pointed out as a busted up old car park’s beside them. Scott Lang, laid uncomfortably in the back as he tried to catch some sleep before the anticipated showdown. Hopefully, they wouldn’t need to fight anyone but Helmut Zemo. Clint was the first to get out of the car, curtly nodding to his old friend, “Cap.” 

Both Wanda and Y/N were next to exit the van, greeting Steve, Bucky and Sam. “You know I wouldn’t have called if I had any other choice.” Steve was grateful that so many of his friends came to his aid yet remained guilty. “Hey man, you’re doing me a favour, besides I owe a debt.” 

“Thanks for having my back.” Steve looks to the three kindly. “It was time I get off my ass,” Wanda assured, happy to be free from the confining walls of the Avengers HQ. “You’ve done a lot for me, I’m always going to be here to back you.” Y/N smiled, both Bucky and Sam were surprised to see someone so young, they weren’t sure how they felt about Steve putting so much trust into someone so young. “Where did you find her?” Sam queried looking to Steve. 

“Long story - how’s our other recruit?” He asked, referring to the drowsy Scott Lang in the back of the van. “He’s rarin’ to go. Had to put a little coffee in him, but... he should be good.” Clint opened the door to the van, jolting awake Scott. Groggily he picks himself out of the van, “what time zone is this?” 

Eventually, he exchanges a handshake with Steve, now being definitely alert after meeting his hero. “Captain America.” A look of amazement washes over him, it was strange to see the interaction between him and Steve for Y/N. So many people were amazed by him and yet she only knew him as the man who’s been a close friend of hers for quite some time. 

With all welcomes aside, an announcement rung their attention. Being in German Bucky was able to translate it for everyone who,  “They’re evacuating the airport.” Everyone exchanged a worried glance, Sam eyed Steve, “Stark.” he was positive that they would have to face off in a reluctant battle. “Stark?” Scott questioned, seemingly out of the loop than everyone else.

“Suit up.” 

“Oh I see you’re recruiting little girls now, huh?” Tony taunted, seeing Y/N stand confidently beside him. She was clad in black, a mask covering part of her face courtesy of Steve who didn’t want her Identity known by Tony, knowing he would use that against her. “Wow I pegged you for an asshole but I didn’t know you were a sexist asshole.” The words left her lips, the mask covering her face giving her more confidence. 

“Whatever it takes for you to back off.” Steve warned, Tony was surprised by the mouth on her but he was growing tired of the chit chat. “Anyways. Ross gave me thirty-six hours to bring you in. That was twenty-four hours ago. Can you help a brother out?” Steve shook his head, standing ground. “You’re after the wrong guy.” 

“Your Judgement is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.” Tony argued, his point was rather valid but nonetheless the wrong point. “And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't.” 

Y/N nodded, she always believed in sacrificing a few to save the many, and without The Avengers the world would no longer exist. “Steve... you know what's about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one? And drag a kid into this?” Natasha was selective with her words, of course, she was being a little hypocritical given Tony had a kid up his sleeve. 

“All right, I've run out of patience. Underoos!” Tony Shouted, out of nowhere Peter Parker in a new and improved web slinging outfit flips over Steve and Y/N, successfully taking his shield and tying his hands together. “Nice job, kid.” Tony complimented. 

“Thanks. Well, I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's just the new suit... Well, it's nothing, Mr Stark. It's-It's perfect. Thank you.” Peter rambled on, he was trying his hardest to impress Tony Stark given that he gave Peter this opportunity and a new suit. “Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation.” Tony made clear. 

Steve looked down at Y/N as if he was mentally telling her that she should focus on the kid on Tony’s side. More talking between the two sides ensued, both Tony and Steve reluctant to throw the first punch, but eventually it had to be done eventually. He held his hands up as Clint shoots through the webs and he looks to Peter, “Alright Lang.” 

Now the action and chaos began. “The kids all yours, keep away from Tony. Good luck.” Steve smiled at Y/N before dashing off, she took a deep breath and launched herself quite a long distance, landing in front of Peter. Neither of them recognises each other. “Oh - hey, I don’t want to hurt you! It’s just not cool to hit a girl.” He put his hands up in defence trying to be friendly. 

“Seriously what’s with you assholes? Fine-.” she gritted winding a hand back and sucker punching him in the face with enough force to drive him back several feet and stumble into a car, leaving a dent. “Wow-okay your strong... really strong...” He muttered to himself in a daze, still pressed up against the car. 

She stalked over to him, winding up another punch only he dodge it in time making her punch through the car’s metal exterior. He outstretched his hands and webbed her arm to the car so she couldn’t break free. “Could you do me a favour and just... stay there... I’d appreciate that.” Peter held up his hands and started to slowly back away toward the action elsewhere. 

Y/N shook her head and grimaced, using the adhesive of the webs to help her lift up the heavy car and lobbing it across the tarmac at Peter. “Oh God.” His eyes widened at the incoming vehicle, he just managed to catch it before it could crush him. “That's a -- that’s a nice throw you got there, you play baseball?” He gritted, still holding the car above his head before throwing it off to the side. 

“Need a hand, kid?” Tony’s voice startled both of them, he pointed his hand toward Y/N ready to fire off a shot but she pounced off the ground beneath her and hooked herself onto the back of his suit. Peter’s eyes widened, “Mr Stark!” seeing her trying to pull plates of metal from the armour. “I see you don’t like to play fair.” Tony grimaced and elbowed her in the face, she grunted and loosened her grip on him before falling well over thirty feet. 

Her body hit the ground leaving a sizable little crater around her. She hadn’t realised that the mask she once wore on her face was now gone as she laid in rubble collecting her thoughts. Peter was standing quite a distance away, unsure whether to check to see if she was alright or not, Tony picked up on his hesitation. 

“I suggest you do something before she starts kicking your ass again,” Tony instructed before whizzing over to Rhodey and Vision. Peter slowly picked up his pace making his way over to her, when he was close enough he was sure surprised. “Holy -- Y/N?” He was confused, to say the least. Kneeling down beside her as he examined the blood oozing from her nose. 

She peered up at Peter, still not knowing it was him. She drew back a hand and let her knuckles jam into his face, knocking him back with the force of the punch. “How do you know my name? Huh?” Quickly scrambling to her feet to regain composure. Her eyes were hard on the red and blue figure as he shook his head, trying to get out of the daze he was in. 

Winding up another punch, he stuck his hands up and shook his head, “w-w-wait wait - wait! Don’t punch, it’s me -- it’s me -,” he desperately tore the mask off his head, not wanting to get punched yet again by her, “- it’s Peter.” She stared at him for a moment, letting the situation sink in and she drew back her fist. “Peter? Parker? Oh my god.” She ran her hands through her hair, “you’re Spiderman?” 

Peter was taken back by this, he had never heard her talk so much ever since he knew her. It was almost surreal to see that the girl who was so often reserved and quiet was talking normally and she just kicked his ass. “Y-yeah and you’re... well... not like everyone else...” he pointed out making her laugh in relief and smile. 

In that moment the two no longer had to deal with their abilities on their own. Peter had met someone almost exactly like him and it was the very girl who he’d partnered with in a chemistry project. Y/N also now had someone to trust and confide in when things went awry. Neither of them suspected it, they couldn’t really, but now that they knew each other's secret it was the beginnings of an everlasting friendship. 

[theboykingofhell]

(acting anon from earlier!!) i read ur whole thing and its FILLED with rly good info ty!! im british and im looking to start getting into acting but i always shyed away from it in schools etc cause there's always be a dance side to it and :/ no ty id rather eat nails than dance ever. but im rly interested in the acting techniques n stuff u mentioned and id defo read as many posts abt it as u wanted to write :0 ty for your time!!

OK YEAH now that i actually have time and by that i mean i have no time there’s like three things i’m supposed to be doing rn but i want to stall starting them lmfao I’MMA TALK MORE ABOUT THIS RN

imma be real i cant remember all the things i mentioned in that post i wrote and i cant be bothered to go back and look so IF YOU EVER HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION LITERALLY ASK ME ANY TIME

oooooooooooh... yeah.. love... babe.... go to acting schools lol it’s not even JUST the fact that they literally teach you how to act but. you. need to network. god. especially since you ARE british, acting schools are very important because a lot of companies will pretty much hire you based on what school you went to. just the short amount of time i was there made this VERY obvious that it is VERY hard to get picked up by a company if you haven’t gone to school, and getting picked up by a company is how you get consistent theater work for YEEEEEEARS...!!! also, usually a school will give you a rly good chance to network by having some sort of showcase at the end where you can get in contact with a bunch of agents and the more famous the school, the more agents see your work and try and help you out!!!!

and, like... the whole dance bit is just a hurdle you’re gonna have to jump. it’s def rly important to just partipate in the classes, you don’t have to be GOOD but it gives you just that little bit of awareness over your body and your movement that you might not have had before and that’s rly important, especially on the stage!! i felt the same way about singing but, man, the more you work at it, the more mangeable it gets. and you don’t want to have this grudge on you forever because it’ll really limit your work :/

but i mean man you don’t actually have to, there’s no set way to become an actor! if you find work, you have that work, it doesn’t matter how you get there t b h. i just think it helps and the more skills you acquire, the better of a chance you have to get that work...

(i RLY suggest lamda, it’s a hard school get into but it’s one of the best if not the best and also the education is beautiful and ALSO lamda-trained actors get the most consistent work because the uk just nuts all over itself about lamda-trained actors)

BUT YEAH. ACTING TECHNIQUES. GONNA FINALLY ADD A CUT LOL

i’m only gonna talk about these vaguely cuz tbh i’m not as ~studied~ as i should be because i’ve been far too lazy until now to actually sit down and read acting textbooks but HERE’S THE GIST....

stanislavsky is like... pretty much the most well-known most taught acting technique. so many of the other techniques you learn BUILDS on his work. there’s a huge range of shit that he’s got to offer because his and later similar teachings are SO focused on realism (which tbh is a very new thing in acting), but some of the most important is stuff like emotional recall and objective work aaaaand character building by using yourSELF and projecting it onto the character. it’s a very psychological form of acting and it’s... MY BASIS but not actually my fave!

now, a lot of parts of it is very useful. emotional recall, for one, is SUPER nice. it’s a very good way to build that vulnerability up, tear down a lot of walls and explore how to summon emotions up....

my first exercise with stanislavsky, i remember them making us lie down and pretty much meditate, and then you listened as the teacher described a bunch of things: your favorite beach as a child and what it felt like, all these sensory memories about the smells and tastes and sights of the beach. and then it moved on to the night of your first kiss, your first love, and then your first loss. a nice basic range of basic emotions, and then you build on that.

stanislavsky (and stuff like uta hagan who wrote a RLY great book that i havent finished reading yet but it’s a GREAT way to rly build on the technique) rly encourages taking yourself and putting it into the character. SO!!!! if your character is going through their first break-up, summon the feelings and memories of your first break-up and push that into your lines, so on and so forth.

the big criticism with stanislavsky and all the techniques like them is that it COULD be very unhealthy for you... considering it’s all about reliving and reliving old memories. and i agree, i mean, one of my favorite plays and one of my monologues of choice for auditions is from a play where the main character is kidnapped and raped, and i’ve been kidnapped and raped before so i am CONSTANTLY and purposely triggering myself just to perform that monologue well. THAT AIN’T RIGHT! helps tho! 

(stuff like method acting falls under stanislavsky and his successors strasberg and stella adler, so....! you can see why not everyone fucks with it)

MY criticism about stanislavsky, which is why it doesn’t work as much for me, is that it’s very VERY heavily text-based. uhhh THIS IS LONG ALREADY SO SOMEONE SEND AN ASK ABOUT OBJECTIVES AND I’LL EXPLAIN but they want you to do a lot in the moment that makes it very distracting if you don’t have this process pinned down and that’s AGGRAVATING FOR ME ANYWAY

chekov is another technique that’s interesting, again not a fave but VERY helpful. this one builds character more from the outside in, it’s all about like... a lot of very subtle details that you can add to the background to add color to your performances. a lot of it is about atmospheres, attitudes, body language, and how that affects your character and how your character is thinking through the scene. it’s VERY reactionary and very fun because you don’t have to think NEARLY as much. 

pretty much you form... gestures, or moods for your characters, and instead of perfoming an ‘action’ (stanislavsky thingy, i’ll explain that in another post i guess), you’re using this ‘gesture’ to explain yourself. it is far FAR more abstract than stanislavsky, which is a lot more technique and exact, and it’s very vague, which does make it very hard for people. it also doesn’t stress realism like stanislavsky and company does, so it’s not as popular at the moment!

 meisner technique is my second favorite technique and kind of hard to explain because i haven’t rly gotten a comprehensive course in it yet besides a few workshops and activities, but it’s a technique that stresses STRESSES ‘listening’. that’s something you hear a lot as an actor, it’s one of the hardest things to really get but it’s also, truly, the essence of good acting. you can’t be a good actor if you don’t listen, because if you don’t listen, you’re not in the moment, and if you’re not IN the moment, you’re just... reciting lines!!!

it’s so hard to explain so i’mma link a cute video i just found because it shows a lot of variety and also shows the actors messing up a lot and it’s cute omfg

it focuses a lot of repetition (either of the same one line for each person or they’re both doing the same line back and forth) which forces the actor to not think about what’s being said but how it’s being said. you’re stuck in the moment because you KNOW what you’re gonna say, you don’t have to worry about saying anything else, all you gotta worry about is what the other person does and how you’re gonna react to it. if they suddenly start screaming in your face UHH YOU’RE GONNA SCREAM BACK HOW DARE YOU? and it’s automatic and SO natural and that’s why i love it, because you don’t have to THINK through it. you don’t rly think through your life like they make you do in other techniques, so i adore the ability to not have to do that on stage.

however i’ve never gotten far enough in the technique to find out how to apply it to a set script but it might just be about building that openness to just... DO and BE and let whatever happens happens, which is NICE

LAST THING THAT I’LL TALK ABOUT IS FUCKING GROTOWSKI YE  S. ok so a lot of techniques overlap, so by this i’m also talking about lecoq and peter brook’s acting techniques. it’s all physical theatre which is all about the GROTEQUE and like UGH there’s so many fascinating things honestly just google ‘theatre of cruelty’ because it’s FASCINATING

the emphasis is... not rly on realism altho the acting i’ve seen come out of it is the most realistic i’ve seen? it’s rly gritty and about accessing the most... EXTREME of emotions, it’s about rly grasping human nature and twisting it and bringing it on stage. peter brook especially (who has a book called the empty stage or something like that that i got to read) stresses that... theatre shouldn’t be about costumes and sets and whatever, it should be just about the actor, and that you can do a PERFECTLY GOOD show with a completely empty stage, with just the actor in the center.

it also has an emphasis on YANKING the audience into the show and being very interactive and like... nothing’s held back, it should be hard to watch, THEATRE SHOULD BE CATHARTIC AND FUCKED UP AND YES.

so physical theatre involves pulling emotions from the body through your movement. life isn’t just about the mind, after all, your body holds emotions through it, there’s chemicals and hormones and what your body does on its own and against other bodies and just. again, hard to explain so HERE’S SOME COOL VIDS THAT SHOWS DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND COMPARES THEM ALL

i lied there’s one more technique i wanna mention: it’s called alba emoting! it, again, builds on the idea that trying to access emotions through the brain is UNHEALTHY AND DANGEROUS and that you can, instead, try and access it through the body! how???? cuz emotions are PHYSICAL. you feel sadness and anger and love and whatnot in your gut and chest and through your head and all through every nerve in your body, right????? so why not try and mimic that for the stage???

it’s SUPER COOL because! what you do with alba emoting is: affix yourself a certain way. it involves certain body postures or positions, certain expressions sometimes... EVERY time it depends upon a different breathing pattern... and all you gotta do is do it. and your body doesn’t know better, it gets tricked into it...!

so, if i were to alba emote fear... it’s hard to describe through text rather than do it but this one might be the clearest one... part of the positioning is to have your hands up in front of you, as if you’re trying to ward someone off or shield yourself. you have your mouth open, you have your eyes stuck to the floor in a submissive sort of way, (there’s more that i cant describe but then) you start to make yourself hyperventilate by taking short, quick breaths through your mouth. after a few seconds of this, your body just starts SHOOTING adrenaline through you because it starts thinking WHOA SOMETHING BAD’S HAPPENING I’M AFRAID?FUCKFUCKFUCK

and that continues until you stop! you can stop at any time and then just go. you get left with a ‘residue’ (which is very chekov in nature in that it ‘colors’ your performance) where you can just act and do the lines and do your actions (stanislavsky) without worrying about needing to push any fear into yourself because it’s THERE, it’s PRESENT and whatever happens in the scene will either alliviate it or make it worse!!!

it’s a BEAUTIFUL way to prepare for a scene right before you go on stage too omg. last semester we were doing julius ceasar, and there was a scene where i had to play a servant who just witnessed a murder and just. go in and beg for my life and the life of my master. so i did the fear emote, and then my friend (playing my master at the moment) decided to talk to me in character and give me the order to throw myself in front of the murderers and LMFAO by the time i ran on there i was like fucking in tears i was so terrified HA

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE TOO IT’S SO FUN YOU JUST GOTTA GO AND SEE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU WHOO!!!!!! HOPE THIS WAS FUN AND HELPFUL YES

[tuckerfuckingdidit]

Agent Carolina? 💙

MY WIIIIFE. thank u for this. thank u. this meme’s gonna all be under cuts because omg. you can tell this is the only writing i’ll be doing today, because goddamn, do i ramble.

edit: it is now, in fact, the next day, fml. we are not going to talk about how long i spent rewriting portions of this post. we just aren’t.

How I feel about this character: *raptor screeching* carolina is my fave lady, period. i spent the whole show thinking tex was badass, but lina was the first character i loved. nope, not wash! that title is all hers. she’s the only character i’ve ever based an OC on intentionally because i was too chickenshit to actually write her. those days have since passed. mwahaha.

every time i watch it, i spend the entire freelancer arc rooting for her so hard. she is 100% the main character for me, the story is about her. that chase for the briefcase is one of the few things i’ve seen where every time i’m pulled 100% into it—like if she just pushes herself hard enough, she’ll win this time, even though i know she can’t. the fact that she gets so bitter and then comes out of it, and finds another family that she sticks by instead of keeping to her lone wolf act—like, the fact that she resolves to Be Better, period, is just. *flails* she’s such a personally inspiring character to me, and i am constantly floored by how much of herself she puts into everything she does.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: maine (thanks anne), wash, maine AND wash, kimball, south (!), york, 479er, wash and tucker. tucker could get it alone if she had a single doubt he wouldn’t brag about it for the rest of his fucking life. but since he has no chill, he gets none. she flirts though, but she was probably flirty with half the freelancers, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh, and emily. don’t look at me. i like ships that get off to bad starts. haha. get off. bow chicka bow wow.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: her and epsilon!!! oh my god. i could literally read c-squared dialogue for the rest of my life. any time they appear in fic with Banter™ i am So Alive. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: once she’s no longer at 9000/10 stress levels 28 hours of the day, carolina is tactile. not cuddly, but tactile. it really grinds my gears that due to the nature of everyone always having a gun in their hand in halo, we rarely see characters make physical contact with each other in a friendly manner. people are either hitting/shooting each other, or standing seven feet apart. like, you’re telling me tucker isn’t the type of person to get in someone’s face when he’s yelling at them? the blocking is just… not good a lot of the time. 

carolina strikes me as a playful elbower, a shoulder clapper (sarge too), and, dare i say it, someone who knows how the hell a hug works. it would take her off guard at first, but physical action is not something carolina struggles with. it’s talking about her feelings where she hits a wall. so it’s not overt. she’s not handing out hugs—but she is participating in them once she gets over her shock.

subtle taps to get attention, teasing hip checks/shoulder bumps, turning people’s bodies to make them look at things, dragging them off places when they won’t hustle—that’s carolina to me. she’s very direct. especially aboard the moi before The Angst swallowed her life whole, omg! i can’t see her not making physical contact with her fam when they’re all lying around out of armor before Everything Is Terrible. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that when carolina finally comes out and says the reds and blues are her family (aka finds her place in the galaxy again), she comes out of her shell and starts touching people. i think she’s coming full circle, not reinventing herself.

i’ve also always thought it was fucked up that they wrote her not saying a word to the boys when they were fucking shipwrecked. like, if you’re going to retcon it, retcon it properly?? she also just doesn’t get anywhere near enough on-screen relationship development with the reds and blues before the F-bomb gets dropped—as in “family”, not “fuck”. carolina’s relationships are the department she gets shafted in every time, because the writers only want to put her down when it’s time for her to kick ass. part of this is because the episodes are so short. #rip

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish we’d been able to see her turn on her father. she sides with him, the meta throws her off the cliff—and then she’s just gone. she just told her father “i would do anything for you”!!!! half of the freelancers have kicked up a mutiny; her father is not a soldier. i would have really liked to see carolina go back to her father to try and protect him from what was ostensibly a huge threat, demand answers, search for them herself when she wasn’t given any, and then leave when she knew her father had totally fucked up. carolina as the original recovery one while wash was recovering unfit for duty would have been awesome.

my OTP: fuck. fuck. i feel like i can’t adequately weigh in on this until i have read mainealina, but it also really fucks me up to stan a ship where half of the people involved are dead. like, both dead? okay, whatever. person A having to live knowing they can never bring person B back is an instant moodkiller for me.  that’s too depressing, so i’m voting quasiplatonic carwash. i started to say kimbalina, but [spoilers for season 15] the team leaving chorus after church’s ~death makes me too sad to think about the girls ending their relationship on that note, omg. at first i really didn’t like the idea of the reds and blues leaving, but when you think about the season 13 finale, blue team is going to be pretty fucking demoralized, and retirement elsewhere means no more fewer Blue Team Problems for red team. i suddenly have a much easier time seeing them leaving. [/end spoilers for season 15] no kimball/carolina interaction doesn’t alarm me the same way carwash being split up does.

my cross over ship: not necessarily shippy (see next point), but i think she and john-117/the master chief would’ve been a sight. to. see. (epsilon and cortana tho. omg.) 

a headcanon fact: i couldn’t pick between two, so have both. she’s blonde, looks a fuck ton like her mother, and dyed her hair when she enlisted as an announcement to the world that she was going to be her own person, not a younger allison. 

potentially more controversial: i read carolina as aromantic, toward the “idem” end of the scale. she loves her friends hard, would die for them, but she wouldn’t know for sure whether she has Romantic Feelings for someone if said feelings bit her in the ass. she’s worried that exact thing happened with york and she didn’t notice, but she just. has no clue whatsoever. sexual encounters with friends? cool beans. realizing one of those friends is rOmANtCiALLY aTtRaCTEd tO hEr? then she starts to put pressure on herself that does nothing but stress her out over how to categorize things, how to label her feelings, if things should continue, etc. it’s a mess.