#I love how his mind seems earnestly changed and not like he's scared of his wife or anything

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watched ‘Charades’ - The Vulcan/Human stuff wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be tbh. Typical Star Trek bioessentialism which I expected. (EXCEPT THE BACON BULLSHIT. WHY DID THEY HAVE HIM EAT BACON? AND THEN PLAY IT FOR LAUGHS??? Of ALL things they had him eat Bacon. It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth since Leonard Nimoy was jewish and seems to have put a lot of that into Spock.) Love T’Pring no notes for T’Pring you were so sweet the whole time. Her holding his hand and subtly giving him tips to make the ritual go smoothly...AAA!! Christine/Spock things sooo boring on their own but as angst for T’Pring? Very good. She wasn’t even gone a DAY before they made out. DUMP! HIS! ASS <3 The phone operator please-hold aliens were very cute to me, I liked them!  Also it introduced the concept of a sacred Vulcan familial roast sesh which is honestly so fucking funny and I adore it. Five minutes on the clock to devastate your future son-in-law, better make it count. The mother-in-law-is-a-bitch and ‘henpecked husband’ thing is SOOOOOO boring though. Boomer comics. The funnier and more interesting option is that they are both equally pretentious but T’Pril is just more committed/has a better eye for things to complain about. 

[arent-i-the-fairest]

hii oh my god i fell in love with your writing lol

would it be too much to ask for Epel, Ace and Deuce and their progression of developing a crush on Yuu (separately)? ♡

𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

author’s note : it wouldn’t be too much at all!! and what an adorable prompt~ i’m a sucker for sweet ones like this. ♡ i’m so glad you like my writing!

dorm leaders ver. here!

who ever would’ve guessed he would end up feeling this way?

ace trappola

you and ace definitely had a bit of a rocky start. he just has a knack for pissing people off, which usually leads to rivalry, which is what happened between the two of you—but the odd thing is that the hatred formed into a friendship. it’s beyond ace how it happened.

he started recognizing pretty soon that he had a crush on you… and god, was he embarrassed about it. when he first met you, he was tryna make an enemy out of you! not for you to become his crush, and for him to enjoy your company, admire how you laugh and how you looked today, and—you get the deal.

so here he is today, wondering when and how he should confess, or if he even should. truth is, he’s kind of scared to. whether or not he’ll do it? only time will tell.

“so why am i here painting roses with you again?” you grumbled as you wiped some sweat off your forehead. it’s far too hot for this. “did you forget that riddle asked for you to do this—and you alone, ace?”

“oh come on, prefect! you owe me, don’t you?” ace asked.

“owe you? if you’re talking about that time i made you hold my books while i went to the restroom for 3 minutes, no. i don’t think i do. that isn’t fair at all, y’know that?” you pouted. of course he knew.

the real reason he was making you do chores with him?

“i’m starting to think you’re having me do this just so you can spend some extra time with me,” you teased. ace’s breath hitched as his face grew red. “you just love being around me so much.”

you have no idea how right you are.

“blech. as if!” he smirked, taking his paint brush and flicking the bristles towards you, effectively getting splotches of red paint on your uniform.

“h-hey!” you gasped, frantically trying to rub it off as he laughed. “you’re in for it now, ace!”

deuce spade

it took deuce so long to catch on that he saw you as more than a friend, but when he did realize it, he literally immediately tried gaslighting himself and telling himself that he was wrong. you were only a friend.

he only started accepting it once you two had this heart-to-heart talk. he poured everything out—his shameful past, how he wants to change his ways… how he just wants his mom to be proud of him and happy. how he never wants to see or make her cry ever again.

he kind of regretted telling you at first. he didn’t wanna concern you with it, but all that regret washed away soon enough. when you expressed that you understood him, wanted to help him, and told him the words ‘i think you’re already someone worth being proud of!’ while looking at him so fondly… he knew he was in love.

“prefect!” deuce called your name, catching up to you with a test paper in hand. “i did it! a 90%! it’s the highest grade i’ve gotten yet!”

your eyes widened, and you gave him a pat on the back.

“i’m proud of you, deuce. it looks like my tutoring helped,” you hummed, closing your locker.

“it really did!” he said earnestly as he fumbled around with his test paper. the nervous habit was unlike him.

“you seem nervous. is something up?” you asked.

“no, it’s just that… c-could—would you mind continuing to tutor me? i’m pretty sure my grades will start looking up even more if you do, and…” ‘i really like being around you,’ is what he would’ve added if he had the guts to.

epel felmier

the first time he could recognize that he liked you was when you defended him against vil. he watched you with admiration in his eyes, happy that you were able to tell the dorm leader what he was too afraid to.

from that point on, you two bonded a lot, and his crush developed even further. he found himself comfortable and open around you. he didn’t have to suppress his real self. he could be improper, be more expressive and loud, and of course, bring out that accent.

hearing a ‘ding!’ from his phone, epel quickly checked it and smiled upon seeing it was you. you were just on time, as always.

he cracked his door open just a bit, and looked left and right down the wide, fancy halls. with the coast clear, he tiptoed out. he was cautious for any signs of rook. or even worse, vil.

epel managed to successfully sneak out without a hitch. hah, of course he would! he’s no beginner at this. he’s been sneaking out to see you a lot recently, and he’s gotten the hang of it by now. you could call him something of a pro.

what kind of shenanigans would the two of you get into this time?

[narutogwriting]

I’m Ready

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: SLIGHT nsfw, cavity inducing fluff Length: 2.9k+

Summary: You and Naruto have been dating for a year now. After having to be seperated for so long, the war is finally over, and Naruto knows he wants to stay by your side forever

Could be considered a sequel to “Touch Starved” or stand on its own

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

Two days. The Fourth Great Ninja War had only lasted two days, but it felt like a lifetime. Maybe because of everything that happened leading up to the war. It was hard to picture it all now, the smaller battles, the trainings, even the way your friendships had been built up over the last few months. The war only lasted two days, but it was years in the making.

And now it was over. Lives were lost and the world was forever changed, but somehow good had triumphed the way it did in all the books and movies. 

Well, not somehow.

Winning the war was a team effort, every person in every village had done their part, even gave their lives, but you knew what you’d always known.

None of it would have been possible without Naruto.

Ever since you’d met him when you were both twelve years old, you knew there was something different, something special about Naruto Uzumaki. By the time you’d met, everyone else was starting to figure it out too, but you knew right away. You couldn’t have imagined just how special, how important, Naruto would be to the world, but you’d had no doubt in your mind right off the bat that Naruto was going to do great things.

When Naruto asked you to be his girlfriend when you were both sixteen, you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. You couldn’t believe that Naruto wanted it to be you by his side as he took on the world. That spot next to him had always been occupied by you anyways. You wouldn’t have known how to step aside if he were to love someone else.

But it was you he loved. Things had moved so fast between the two of you. One day you were best friends and by that night, you were his girlfriend, falling asleep in his arms and kissing him goodnight. You’d already lived together at that point; it already felt like you and Naruto were spending your life together.

It wasn’t even a full week later that Naruto had let the “L” word slip. The two of you were at the training grounds, but you hadn’t been in the mood to train. You went with Naruto since he wanted to work on target practice, but you had decided to sit back in the shade, writing in your notebook as you leaned against a tree. 

“Did you see that!?” Naruto had called. You glanced up from your book to see that he’d hit the bullseye dead on, and he was grinning excitedly at you.

“Good job, Naruto. But you always hit the bullseye.” You gave a small laugh, glancing back down at your notebook. You missed the pout on Naruto’s face.

What Naruto had been asking you if you saw was the backflip he’d done as he threw the kunai--he had to challenge himself after all. But you were hardly paying attention to him, too caught up in your writing. Well that wasn’t going to stand.

A moment later, you felt wind past your hair as a thud came from the tree above you. You looked at the tree to see a kunai lodged in the trunk just over your head before looking back at Naruto to see a smug smirk.

“Naruto!” You snapped, closing your book. “Are you crazy!?”

He giggled like a child, rubbing the back of his head. “Like you said, I always hit my mark. I wasn’t gonna hit you!” But you were already on your feet, charging him and tackling him to the ground. Naruto’s back hit the floor with a thud, and you could hear the air escape him. Straddling him, you placed your hands on his chest and stared down at him.

“Did you really need my attention that badly?” You asked him curiously, tilting your head. Naruto was looking at you with those wide, beautiful blue eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. He stared at you so intensely, so earnestly, that it made you blush. “What?” You muttered, glancing away in embarrassment. 

Naruto sat up, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you close to him on his lap. Slowly, you turned your head back to look at him, captivated by all that was Naruto. You were feeling more shy than you ever had before, but Naruto looked and felt as sure as ever as he took you in. “I love you is all.” He grinned at you, leaving a big kiss on your cheek.

There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you were fully, completely, totally wrapped up in Naruto. You didn’t think you’d ever get free, and you knew for a fact that you never wanted to. 

It was later that night that Naruto took your virginity. It was slow and sweet and awkward and clumsy--everything a girl could hope for for her first time. Naruto kissed you everywhere his lips could touch, his eyes took in every inch of your body. You don’t think you’d ever been so nervous in your life.

But it was Naruto, and like everything else, he made you feel brave. You couldn’t help but wonder how he knew what to do so effortlessly. You had no idea how anxious the whole thing made Naruto because he was so attentive to your needs.

Naruto would later admit to you sheepishly that he’d done a lot of research to make sure he didn’t hurt you. He took it slow when his fingers pressed inside you for the first time, pumping and curling experimentally as he listened to your body to know when he was doing it right.

His thumb clumsily circled your clit as he slid inside you slowly, taking his time despite the urge to just sheathe himself completely. Your fingers gripped his shoulders as you rocked into him despite the pinching pain. And then, suddenly, it didn’t hurt anymore, and your stomach began to flutter. It didn’t last long, with Naruto spilling inside you sooner than he would have liked, but you felt satisfied, on cloud nine, nonetheless.

You couldn’t figure out if it was a blessing or a curse the way your and Naruto’s relationship progressed so quickly, because as soon as everything seemed perfect with the two of you, everything else began to change.

Naruto took the world by storm just like you always knew he would, and the two of you were separated more and more. You wanted to be with him at every point, but you were both ninjas with different roles. You did your best to keep focused, but you missed Naruto terribly when he was gone, and you always feared that he would forget about you. He was quickly gaining the respect of not just the village, but the whole world, just like he’d always wanted. Now that he had everyone else’s attention, would yours matter to him as much?

But when Jiraya died, Naruto wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. There was no one else that could have brought him back from the brink, that darkness that had seemed so overwhelming. You weren’t there in his fight with Pein, you couldn’t be, but he wished you were.

When he meets Minato, finds out that the Fourth Hokage is his father, he can’t help but tell him about you, how despite how miserable and alone so much his childhood had been, he’d do it all over again as long as it led him to you. And his father tells him how happy he is, that if he and Naruto’s mother couldn’t be there for him, that at least you had found Naruto.

And Naruto smiles at that, because you did find him, right when he needed you. He’s confident that in any time or place, any lifetime, you would find him again. And he would find you.

When Naruto meets his mother, it goes much the same. He learns how Kushina and Minato fell in love, a story he never would have imagined he would get to hear. Kushina doesn’t miss his blush when she tells him to find someone like her, and he tells her that he already has. Shyly, Naruto tells his mom about you, how you were his constant, and how much he loves you. It brings them both to tears, because neither of them ever imagined they would have this moment.

And Naruto can’t wait to tell you about it all, but your time together is so few and far between, and you spend most of it in each other’s arms. Every time you touch him again, the relief in you is almost violent, because every time one of you leaves, you’re not sure if you’ll see each other again.

Many lives are lost in the time leading up to the end of the war, but by some miracle of the universe, you and Naruto are left standing. Even so, as he and Sasuke laid barely on the brink of consciousness, both short one arm as Sakura cried over them, you kept your space. It was a scene you knew Naruto had been dreaming about for years, his one real wish to have Sasuke back.

So you’re happy, excited, relieved for Naruto to have his best friend home, but you’re scared too, terrified, really, of what this will mean for your relationship. Now that Naruto has the one thing he’d been dreaming about for years, would that change the way he felt about you?

You’d had enough foresight to buy birthday presents for Naruto early before any stores became a casualty to the battle. With so much destroyed, Naruto couldn’t believe it when he woke up in the hospital surrounded by balloons and streamers, and of course you. “Happy birthday, Naruto.” You smiled from your seat by his bed. And Naruto wasn’t ashamed by the fact that he was crying, because you loved him, and you were here, and even if one day he lost everything else in the world, he had you.

In the days that follow the war, Naruto hears stories of what everyone had experienced in the Infinite Tsukuyomi. He wonders what he would have seen had he been trapped inside. Sasuke being home was a given, and now it was reality. He didn’t have to dream.

He knew for a fact that you would have been in it. And he would be with you forever. That was his dream, what he wanted even more than becoming Hokage one day. He couldn’t imagine his life without you, and he hated how much time he had had to spend away from you for the past months. He never wanted to have to go a day without you again.

It’s only a week that Naruto was in the hospital. Tsunade wanted to keep him in for longer, but Naruto couldn’t stand to spend another night not laying in bed with you. Which meant that he was almost completely bedridden for another week after he came home, with you waiting on him hand and foot.

“You did this on purpose,” you teased him, helping him sit up as you fed him ramen. “You just wanted to make me take care of you.” Naruto just grinned at you in response.

“Having a beautiful girl feeding me ramen? That’s like, the ultimate fantasy!”

You still thought it was too soon, but Naruto was up and moving by week three, eager to get back to training. “You’ve missed all the cool things I’ve learned, too. I have to show you.” Naruto bragged. 

Poking the stub that was his right arm, you laughed. “Better let Tsunade fix this then, if you want to show me anything new.”

Naruto pouted. “But I’ll have to be in the hospital overnight…” He protested. You gave him a soft peck, rolling your eyes at him. 

“I think we can survive one more night apart.” You made a move to pull back, but he secured his arm around your waist, kissing you again. 

“Just one more night?”

~

Naruto had gone in the night before to get his new arm. He’d pouted and tantrumed and tried to put it off, but finally told Tsuande he was ready.

“It’s just one more night,” you’d promised him as you said goodbye, wrapping your arms around him. 

He kissed your head. “Fine. But promise me something?” he asked. You nodded, looking up at him. 

“Of course,” 

“Meet me tomorrow on the hokage heads at six?” 

So that’s where you were heading now. The sun was beginning to set, lighting the sky up with beautiful hues of purples, oranges, and pinks. You smiled as you climbed the stairs thinking of all the days twelve year old you and Naruto had spent sitting up here, talking about your dreams. You were so young then, neither of you had the foresight to imagine you would be where you were now.

As you got to the top of the mountain, your heart leaped seeing the setup Naruto had waiting for you. A blanket was laid out on the ground, surrounded by lit candles. Plush pillows filled the blankets for comfort as well as glasses of sparkling champagne with your favorite dessert.

He stood there waiting for you with his bandaged hand, and you realized you’d never seen anything as beautiful as Naruto, and you found yourself running to him, jumping into his arms and kissing him deeply as you wrapped your legs around him. 

Laughing, he kissed you back, holding you to him tightly. “I missed you too,” he laughed when you pulled away.

You beamed at him, and it made his breath hitch. You were so gorgeous. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that someone would look at him the way you do, and his eyes started to well up realizing just how lucky he was to have you. 

As he set you down, you gave a small laugh. “Naruto, are you crying?” You asked him, reaching up to touch his cheek. 

 He scratched the back of his head as he stared down at you. “I can’t help it… I just love you so much…” You smiled at him, but he wasn’t done yet.

“Ya know, all that time we spent apart, I thought of you almost every second. Even when I got to talk to my mom and dad… I just wanted to tell them about you…” He took your hands in his, looking at you with a level of admiration that made you blush.

“And, ya know, I know you think it was silly that I didn’t want to go get my new arm cause I didn’t want to spend the night at the hospital, but I just don’t want to have to be away from you again. Not ever.”

You looked at Naruto almost curiously as butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “I’m not going anywhere,” you assured him.

Naruto gave a soft smile, so different from his usual animated grin. “I know,” he said quietly as he began to drop down to his knee. Your jaw dropped as one hand went to cover your mouth. 

“N-naruto… What are you doing?” You asked.

“I love you. So much. And for so long, since we were twelve.” He said, looking up at you. “I never really realized how much I was missing all my life until you came into it. And it was all worth it, all my loneliness, all that time I spent feeling like an outsider… Because when you came into my life, all that pain turned into so much happiness, I thought my heart would burst. I didn’t know I could survive being so happy after being so alone for so long.”

Tears were falling freely from both of your eyes. You didn’t know when you’d started crying, but now you couldn’t stop. 

“We’ve all been through so much in such a short amount of time… I could’ve lost it all. I could’ve lost you. But I didn’t, and I’m so lucky I didn’t.” Naruto continued, smiling through his tears. You tried to quiet your sobs so you could hear him better. “And it’s because of that,” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. “That I want to make sure I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you forever. Will you marry me?”

Disbelief. You couldn’t believe this wasn’t your imagination, that this was really happening. “Naruto… We’re only seventeen, we’ve been dating for like a year!” You laughed, and he just grinned confidently.

“I know,” he told you. “I know we’re young, but I know that I love you, and I know that I want to be with you forever. I’m ready. What do you say?”

He almost dropped the ring because you were on him in a second, tackling him to the floor, peppering his face with kisses. “Yes,” you cried between kisses. “Yes of course! I love you. I love you so much.”

“Wait, the ring!” Naruto laughed, waving around the box. “I spent a lot of money on this, ya know! You should at least look at it!” But you just kept on kissing him.

“I’d marry you with a paper ring,” you told him before pressing your lips to his. “Any time, any place. As long as I get to be with you.”

Naruto wiped at his cheeks, staring at you through his blurry eyes. Every time he thought he couldn’t get any happier, you proved him wrong. 

He finally was able to grab your hand and slide the ring on it. “Now you’re never gonna get rid of me.” He told you before giving you another kiss. 

“Promise?” You asked him with shining eyes?

Naruto couldn’t understand it. How had he ever gotten so lucky?

“Promise.”

[petewentztiddies]

Can't Stop Staring At Those Ocean Eyes | Anidala Oneshot

(hey here's some Anidala fluff nobody asked for!!)

Can't Stop Staring At Those Ocean Eyes | Anidala Oneshot

Warnings: discussion of pregnancy, otherwise it's just fluff with some angst sprinkled in idk

(it's honestly just pillow talk-y fluff let's be real)

She settles in his arms, a welcome respite from the cold night air drafting in through the window.

"Anakin...if we chose to have children, how many would you want?" She asks, tracing lazy patterns across his bare chest, absentmindedly tracing a fresh scar.

"I dunno,” He answers honestly. “I suppose I don't mind kids. Some of the younglings at the temple are nice enough...except that Grogu," he adds with a grumble. "I suppose I wouldn't mind one of my own. Why do you ask?"

"I still don't understand why you let yourself get harassed by toddlers," Padmé giggles.

"Don't laugh!" Anakin pouts. "Grogu and his...toddler clique stole my lightsaber earlier," he appends with a grimace.  

Padmé, meanwhile, attempts to stifle her laughter. The mental image of Anakin being bullied by a bunch of toddlers was thoroughly entertaining.

"Okay...but seriously, why are you asking? Is everything okay?" Anakin asks, genuinely concerned. 

She sighs, locking eyes with him. "Don't panic, but my cycle is late. Don't get excited though, it's probably nothing. It just...made me think, you know?" She says softly, letting her mind wander. She could almost see it now - a child that was a perfect mix of the both of them. 

"Oh," is all he can say. How was he supposed to react? Padmé could be pregnant. “But it’s probably nothing, right?”

“Yes, I’m sure it’s fine,” she responds smoothly. "Don't let this...hang over your head. It's fine, I'm sure. You watch, I'll get it tommorow or something," she chuckles lightly.

"So...it's not for certain? We're okay, then?" He asks, unable to hide a bit of anxiousness in his voice.

"Mmm-hmm," she pauses, trying to think of something to change the subject. "Hey, are you going back to the Temple tomorrow or tonight?"

She can feel him relax a bit at the distraction. "Probably early tomorrow morning. I'll be gone by the time you wake up. We ship out for Cato Neimoidia tomorrow afternoon, and then after that, we're going to Anaxes. But I bet you I'll be back soon, I don't see either of these campaigns taking long."

"I sure hope," Padmé yawns. "I hate how often you're gone. It seems more than usual lately," she snuggles closer, holding him one last time. "I wish I didn't have to go to sleep,"

I know," he responds with a sigh. "I'll be back, I promise."

"Promise?" She asks.

"Yeah, I promise." He kisses the top of her head gently, wishing he could be there when she wakes. 

Sadly, that was a luxury neither of them had.

"I could leave, you know," he blurts. "I would do anything you asked if it made you happy." he says, earnestly, grasping her hand.

"I...you don't mean that, Anakin. The Jedi need you. The clones need you. The Republic itself needs you! You can't leave,"

"But I would," he presses on. "I would. Say the word and I'll leave it all behind."

His deep blue eyes are boring into her soul; nearly asking her to say it. 

"I..." she trails off. She knew that all she had to do was ask him to leave, to leave all of his responsibilities behind - and if she asked, he would leave it all behind in a heartbeat.

Something flickered in Anakin's eyes: he could feel her wavering resolve, but he remained silent. 

It didn't matter, anyway; she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was selfish, and it wasn't how it was meant to be - at least for now, anyway.

..But was it really selfish to want a normal life?

Perhaps it wasn't. They had both known the repercussions; they knew what was going to happen if they pursued a relationship. 

Resolutely, she decides she can't say it. It wasn't fair of her to ask him to abandon what he had worked most of his life for, even if he would just for her. "...I love you, Ani." she finally says. 

He sighs contently, pulling her closer. "I love you too," he says without hesitation.

"Would you be..." He pauses, attempting to figure out how to word his question. "Would you be upset? If you weren't pregnant, I mean."

"I'd be more relieved if anything, but...it would be nice though, huh?" She murmurs quietly as she gently lets her fingertips trace a scar on his side. "A little version of you and me running around."

He laughs at that. "I don't think you'd want a mini-Anakin running around." 

"Maybe not," She snorts. "But you know what I mean, right? A little baby...the perfect combo of you and I." her hand unthinkingly moves to her lower abdomen. 

"Yeah, I know what you're saying," he says, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Sounds scary, if you ask me," he half-jokes.

"And so I've found the one thing the 'hero with no fear' is scared of," she teases. 

"Oh, yeah?" He tickles her side in retaliation, making her squirm as she tries not to laugh. 

"Anakin!" She manages to squeal, even as she finally gives in and attempts to wiggle away from him. He kisses the side of her head gently before letting her go. 

"Okay, okay, I'll give you your space," he says with a grin. "I win."

She tilts her head. "Is that so?" before Anakin can react, she darts her hands out to his sides, attacking him with relentless tickles. 

Anakin quickly realizes that she's fighting dirty, tickling him near his ribs and trying to keep him from retaliating, but to no avail. “Hey, no fair!”

"No fair?" She replies. "You started it!"

Anakin tries to bat Padmé’s hands away, but nearly falls off the bed while doing so.

She stops for a second, “Oh...whoops.” She mutters, before she realizes she's gotten the high ground in this situation. “Ha! Gotcha. I win."

"Okay, okay! You've made your point!" He says, laughing as he gets back on the bed.

They sit in comfortable silence for a minute, before finally, Padmé yawns once again, settling into his embrace as they wordlessly lie down. "I... I'll miss you, Ani." She breathes.

"You know I can't stay away for long, Padmé. And before you know it, this war will be over. I promise you." His hands trail through her hair, tracing soothing lines along her scalp. 

She sighs, her eyes growing heavy. "And once it's over...we can be free then. We could go to Naboo," she says dreamily. "Maybe then, we could start a family." 

"Yeah," Anakin agrees. "I like that," 

That night, Padmé goes to sleep dreaming of what could be. Maybe, she really was pregnant. Maybe, the war would be over soon and they could go back to Naboo.

She knew the perfect spot at the lake house for a baby's room.

In her mind's eye, she could see picnics, could see her and Anakin teaching their child to swim, could see a future that wasn't so full of war and chaos and stress. 

Their relationship wasn't normal; it wasn't the typical relationship you'd see with normal couples who could freely be in love. 

Perhaps someday, things would be different. Perhaps someday, they could get that happy ending on Naboo.

But for now, it was little moments like this that made it all the more worth it.

-----------

mini taglist this time!!! @thereblogcrusader @haydens-moles because frankly they were the only ones I can think of atm that noticed my other fluff fic so yEah, also @anidalalover99 would enjoy this methinks :v

comment or rb if you enjoyed idk y'all know the drill and I'm frankly exhausted bcs its 3:10 am so do what you wish

oh yeah I'm gifting this to @stillmourningtonystark bcs I read some of her fluff and it was just 🥺 it killed me and I was like "I need to write fluff now" so uh yeah check her out

[gintrinsic-writing]

Some of us were talking about why Time and Malon haven’t had children yet aaaaand this happened. Angst: The True Baby 

-

The single bedside lantern cast warm light across Malon’s features as she crawled into bed. “I wish I could have those boys here all the time,” she told Time. “I loved having such a crowded dinner table. And all the help around the ranch! It sure was nice of them.”

Time beckoned her closer, smiling warmly. Truthfully, neither of them had really stopped smiling since their conversation with Twilight. “I agree. Getting to know them all has been a blessing.”

Malon interlaced their fingers together, humming softly. She leaned closer and kissed Time’s jaw, then glanced up at him through her lashes. “I can’t wait to have little ones of my own,” she murmured, looking hopeful. “Maybe… we could try soon?”

Shame suddenly burned its way through Time. He forced himself not to look away, but it was a near thing. “Maybe,” he replied, squeezing her hand affectionately. Malon searched his gaze, her smile dimming as the seconds passed. He didn’t know what she was looking for, but he feared she wouldn’t find it.

“We’ve been married a few years now,” Malon said, still looking at him earnestly.

“They have been the best years of my life,” he assured her. He needed Malon to trust this, needed her to know just how much she meant to him.  

Malon’s smile returned briefly, and she planted another kiss on the corner of his mouth. Her touch was light, but the warmth of her lips lingered even after she drew back. “You told me you wanted a family, back when we were still dating.”

“Yes,” he said quietly, unable to deny her the truth.

“And you seemed so—so proud of Twilight tonight. So happy to know he’s our descendent.”

Time closed his eye and nodded. “Yes.”

“Link,” she whispered, gently laying her free hand on his jaw and angling his face toward her. When he opened his eye, she traced her thumb across his cheek. “Talk to me. What’s bothering you? Have you… changed your mind?”

“I haven’t. It’s just…”

“Is it me?”

Time flinched, eye widening. “Goddesses, no! That’s not—Malon, I promise, you’re perfect,” he hastened to say. “When I saw you this morning, when you kissed me—my entire body felt warm. You’re my home. It took everything in me not to carry you upstairs immediately and rid you of your—"

Malon cut him off by pressing her index finger against his lips, giggling. “You hush, now; these walls are too thin for that tonight.”

“Oh?” Time asked coyly, nipping her finger for good measure.

“Yes,” she answered, shoving at his chest weakly. “And besides—no distractions, Fairy Boy.” Her expression sobered, and she took his hand again in both of hers. “Please, talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Time stared at their wedding rings, trying to center himself. Self-consciousness weighed his tongue down and made his whole body feel tense. “I worry…” He let out a harsh sigh, frustrated with his own hesitation. Thankfully, Malon was patient. “I want to be a father,” he told her quietly, words barely above a whisper. “But I’m scared I won’t be a good one.”

Malon blinked, then blinked again. “What?” she blurted. “Why?”

Unease settled like ice in the pit of Time’s stomach. Memories flashed to the forefront of his mind—fleeting images of a cold and silent tree house, of war torn Hyrule, of broken families and broken bodies, of dawn dawn dawn and the painful stretch of his own soul as he stared up a grinning moon.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. The words tasted sour.

“Truly?” she asked, looking worried—and he knew the worry was for him, he knew, but a small, vicious part of himself wondered if it weren’t also for their future.

“I was raised by a tree,” he joked mirthlessly. “The boys tease me about being sixty but I—I don’t even know how old I am, at this point. Sometimes, I dream about swimming through coral reefs, or tunneling through caves, or putting down literal roots, Malon. Sometimes, my body doesn’t—” He took his hand back, trembling a little, then cleared his throat. After a steadying breath, he reached for her again. “Sometimes, I think those masks kept parts of me.”

Malon drew him into her arms and held him tightly. “I love you,” she said fiercely, voice thicker than it should’ve been. He tried not to feel bad about that, too. “You silly man. Those masks—I think it’s more likely they left parts with you.”

He thought of the Fierce Deity mask and bit the inside of his mouth to keep himself from arguing. The lines on his face burned regardless, as though mocking him.

“You are so, so good with those boys,” Malon continued quietly. “It’s glaringly obvious how much they look up to you. I think you’d be an amazing father, Link.”

Time felt himself sag against her. He breathed deeply, pressing his forehead to her throat. He didn’t know what to say.

“I love you,” Malon said again, stroking his hair.  

“I love you, too,” he replied, because that, at least, he knew to be true.

[lire-casander]

chapter #5 — second verse

Their first official date doesn't take place until the following weekend, given Carlos' tight schedule of classes and time with his daughter, and TK’s own crazy life with interviews and photoshoots. They text for six days straight, at almost every waking moment — TK has to stop himself from reaching for his phone to check his messages during the times he knows Carlos must be teaching, but other than that he thinks this is going smoothly.

It also helps that Jonah seems to be taking this whole new adventure of TK’s life way better than he took him marrying — or even dating — Alex.

His brother has been exceptionally cheerful that TK’s been photographed with Carlos Reyes; TK should be worried that he’s this giddy about his love life when, merely days ago, Jonah had been very vocal about how much he despised Alex. Before the whole cheating debacle, TK had thought that Jonah might have been jealous in the way kids sometimes become when an important adult in their life begins dividing their attention between the child and whoever has come into the adult’s life.

But now Jonah seems completely happy with TK dating someone completely anonymous, and he’s even coyly suggesting places for their first date.

"Have you thought about bringing Buttercup to the date?" Jonah asks on Thursday, two days before Carlos is supposed to be picking TK up. "I bet he would love to be there with you."

"I doubt a bar is the best place for a dog," TK replies, looking up from the book he's reading to stare into his brother’s eyes. There's never a moment that TK isn't surprised by the uncanny resemblance between Jonah’s stare and that of their mom's.

"Is Carlos taking you to a bar?" Paul asks from his spot on the other couch. TK rolls his eyes so hard that it almost hurts; Jonah chuckles as he climbs up besides TK and sits on his leg. "Where has he been living these past years? Under a rock? Doesn't he know about—" Paul cuts himself off before saying anything else as he eyes Jonah, who's frowning at him.

"I bet Carlos doesn't know you don't like bars, T," Jonah says slowly. "But maybe we can tell him, and he can change his idea and bring you to the mini-golf. You could bring Buttercup with you!"

"What's with taking Buttercup on a date with Carlos?" TK questions his brother, finally putting his book aside. "What's going on, J? Why are you so insistent on me bringing Buttercup along?”

“I’m not—” Jonah shakes his head and kicks at a nonexistent bump on the floor. “I just don’t want you to go on your own. There could be bad guys anywhere.”

TK understands what Jonah isn’t saying; his brother has always been very protective of him and the life they both lead has always been peppered with threats, coming either from the fact that sometimes fans can be crazy or from the fact that Enzo’s been putting away criminals with very powerful friends out on the streets. It makes sense that Jonah might be worried about a new person barrelling into their lives out of the blue. “Are you scared that Carlos might be one of the bad guys?”

"I’m sure he isn’t," Jonah says earnestly. TK frowns at him; he doesn’t understand the thoughts that might be running through his brother’s mind; one second he’s so intent on not letting TK go out on his own and the next he’s changed his mind completely. "It feels like I already know him."

TK shakes his head. His brother has been making remarks similar to that one for the past four days; he knows it's just a way for Jonah to ensure he doesn't get left out of TK’s life ever again. He doesn't think that introducing his baby brother to a complete stranger on their first date is the perfect course of action, though — he wants to make sure that Carlos isn't really some psycho, and after Alex he doesn't want to expose his brother to just anyone who crosses paths with him.

"I was right about Alex," Jonah whines. "Don't you want to know my opinion on Carlos before you go on any more dates?"

"I swear, this kid," Paul laughs. "He's right, though. You should introduce Carlos to him. See what he thinks."

"He gets it," Jonah tells TK matter-of-factly.

"Still not happening this weekend," TK states. "Not bringing Buttercup with me either. You need someone to protect you while I'm away."

"Judd’s going with you," Paul says at the same time as Jonah asks, "Judd will go with you, right?"

"Yes, he will," TK admits with a huff. "You guys can be draining."

"That means we're doing our job well," Paul stage-whispers, leaning over the arm of his couch to high-five with Jonah, who giggles and stretches his hand out. "It's almost time for your call with Enzo, buddy," he notes, checking his phone. "I'll get going. Have fun on your call!"

TK shakes his head as his friend leaves the penthouse. Jonah sits properly and makes grabby hands at TK, who's in charge of the kid's phone whenever he isn't at school. As if on cue, the device starts beeping with a FaceTime call, and TK hands it over to his brother, muttering, "I'll be in the kitchen making dinner if you need me."

"Aren't you staying?" Jonah asks. "I bet Dad will love talking to you."

"Maybe later," TK tells his brother. "Now, pick it up. It's way too early in Tokyo for you to miss this call."

He disappears into the kitchen, letting out a long sigh as he leans onto the counter. He doesn't want to face Enzo right now — he's been avoiding him since he left for Japan on Monday — the same way he doesn't want to talk to his own father. TK knows they will both be supportive of this new adventure; Enzo already voiced his assent to this crazy idea before taking off to Asia, but Owen Strand is on a whole new level. TK fears that Enzo will try to convince him to talk to his father, and he's not ready to face that music yet. He'd love to enjoy the small mercies of life with Carlos — get to know him, take him on dates, maybe even kiss him — before sitting down and telling his father. Who, by the way, TK is pretty sure already knows, because Carlos' face has been splashed all over the Internet, and because Owen Strand, ever the impatient man, has been calling nonstop for five days straight. Which is as long as TK has been avoiding his own father.

"T!" he hears from the living room. "Dad wants to talk to you!"

He breathes in deeply and makes his way out of the kitchen in time to hear Jonah mumbling, "Dad, don't tell him, okay? It's a secret!"

"What's a secret?" TK asks as he flops down on the couch next to Jonah. "Hi, Enzo."

"Nothing important," Enzo says brightly, waving at him from the other side of the screen. "Hi, TK. Jonah will tell you right before the parents' meeting at school next month, won't you, son?"

"I will," Jonah says begrudgingly. "You're mean."

"Yeah, I know," Enzo dismisses his son's words with a shrug. "How are you, T? How's the fallout from the show? I'm sorry I had to fly out of the country right away."

"It's okay, you know it is. Nobody could have foreseen what happened," TK says, ignoring the way his brother scoffs by his side. "I'm doing fine. Promise."

Enzo pins him with a sharp look before changing subjects. TK’s never been more grateful for his brother’s father, and he's never been more amused when Buttercup makes his appearance and steals the whole show by barking hello at Enzo.

Saturday comes fast, much to TK’s equal dismay and excitement. He wishes he’d had more time to get ready for his first date after the Alex debacle, but he’s also thrilled that he gets to see Carlos in the flesh again. The teacher, ever the gentleman, texts him that he’s going to be picking TK up at seven thirty sharp. TK freaks out in his room as he tries patterned shirt after patterned shirt, and not a single one feels right. From the bed, where he’s perched with Buttercup and a bowl of popcorn, Jonah giggles and points out another shirt.

“That one, T!”

“That one’s plain black,” TK observes. “I’m trying to prove a point here.”

“That your fashion sense is atrocious?” comes Grace’s voice from the door. “Because if that’s what you’re aiming for, I’d say wear the palm patterned shirt. But if what you want to do is, you know, impress a certain teacher, I’d go with the plain black one.”

“I think he’d like it,” Jonah says, far too smug for his eleven years of age. “Trust me.”

“Now you’re an expert in what teachers like?” TK asks incredulously.

Jonah squirms uncomfortably under his gaze, but comes up with, “I’m sure. He’ll like it.”

“And I’m sure Carlos will like anything you wear,” Grace states. “Just not a patterned shirt, please. And you know I am an expert here.”

“Why?” Jonah questions, craning his neck to the side to observe Grace with his big, almost transparent eyes.

He splutters and glares at Grace. They’d agreed they wouldn’t mention Grace being friends with Carlos, and now Grace has blown it up with just one line.

“I’m an expert in what men in general like,” she tries to save.

Jonah isn’t buying it, much to TK’s chagrin. “Maybe you’re an expert in what men like to see in a woman,” he says. “But Carlos likes T, so he doesn’t like women.”

“About that, J—” TK begins, but he’s cut off by Marjan’s voice calling his name. He’s so regretting handing out copies of his door keys to his team. “Sorry, sounds like I’m needed. I’ll just wear this one,” he adds, grabbing the black shirt and fighting to put it on as he steps out of the room, leaving behind Jonah’s whoops of victory and Grace’s attempts at chastising him for yelling.

“Your boy’s here,” Marjan announces as TK reaches the living room. He looks around, panicking, but Carlos is nowhere to be seen. “Not here here, but Erik’s called to let us know he’s coming up.”

“Erik as in the concierge?” TK almost screeches. “He was supposed to keep Carlos back there and call so I could go down and—”

“Oh, you’ll be going down alright,” Marjan jokes, winking at him.

“Don’t be gross, Marj,” Paul admonishes. “As if TK puts out on the first date. Second—”

“You two are impossible and I hate you,” TK mumbles, looking around the place — which is in complete disarray despite the fact that TK’s tried to keep it tidy just in case — until he locates his black jacket and grabs it. “How am I looking?”

“Breathtaking, if I may say so,” says Carlos, startling TK and making him almost drop the jacket. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. The door was open and I—”

“It’s okay,” Judd says, standing up from his seat near the television. Such a bodyguard, TK thinks. “I opened the door when Erik said you were coming up. We were expecting you.”

TK huffs. He hadn’t been expecting to land eyes on Carlos Reyes so soon, and certainly not while in the middle of his very messy living room. He takes a brief moment to watch Carlos, admiring the way the long sleeves of his maroon Henley hug his biceps. He definitely does not notice how his jeans fit his silhouette perfectly.

TK shakes his head.

“I think we should get going,” he says. He doesn’t even waste time in greeting; he just wants out of his apartment, away from the knowing glances of his team.

“Just a second,” Marjan intercepts him as he walks by her. “Let’s take a selfie,” she says, lifting her phone. “Now, let’s post it with hashtag Calvin Klein hashtag Levi’s hashtag off on a date. C’mon on, Carlos, now it’s your turn. Let’s show you two off together! Who are you wearing?”

“I really don't feel comfortable,” Carlos says, blushing. By his side, Judd hesitates; TK’s gaze jumps from his bodyguard to Carlos, and the teacher looks so lost that it’s all TK has in himself not to wrap his arms around Carlos’ waist and hug him tight.. “I don’t think this is my world.”

“It's natural. You’ll get used to it,” Marjan continues, checking Carlos’ Henley in search of a brand that she obviously doesn’t find, if TK has to judge from the disgruntled sigh she lets out.

“Why don’t we all take a moment to breathe and relax?” Judd offers after a beat, when it’s evident that Carlos’ shuffling on his own two feet is coming from a place of discomfort rather than nervousness. “Take five, make sure we are all on the same page? And that we are all comfortable?”

TK has never been more grateful for Judd than at this moment. Marjan backs away for a second under Judd’s hard gaze, leaving Carlos some space to breathe. The effect is almost immediate; Carlos deflates a bit, the tension in his shoulders easing in the way he slumps slightly forward now that he isn’t under scrutiny.

“It’s fine,” TK finally says, when it’s evident that Carlos won’t say anything else as he continues to look at the ground. “You don’t have to like it or get used to it.”

“It just feels like everything is kinda scripted, if you know what I mean? Is everything in your life sponsored?”

“Most of it?” TK shrugs. “I guess I’ve gotten used to it by now, after all this time. I’m sorry I’ve kinda thrown you into this without warning. I guess I expect everyone to go along with this situation,” he adds. “But it’s okay if you don’t. Marj, leave him be. And just post my solo picture.”

Marjan pouts, but she nods. “Okay, just your pic, and no mention of where you’re headed. Also, it’s scheduled for a couple of hours from now, so you can ditch the paps.”

There’s noise coming from the corridor before Grace shows up from the bedroom area. “I’ve left Jonah all settled with the Marvel movie he’s chosen. He shouldn’t be any trouble,” she announces. “I’ll just grab my purse.”

TK is grateful that he gets to go on a date with Carlos Reyes, someone he’s pretty sure he would never have met under any other circumstances, but he hates that he needs to be monitored every single second of his day; that means that, for their first date, Carlos has chosen the place but TK has chosen the company. Judd’s bringing Grace along to keep up a semblance of normalcy, but that doesn’t mask the fact that TK needs a bodyguard — a babysitter, Judd would say — to go anywhere.

But when Carlos’ hand finds his on the way out of the penthouse, TK feels warmth seeping through his bones.

The bar Carlos has chosen is a somewhat hole-in-the-wall that TK would never have set foot in otherwise. It’s full of country music and cowboys trying to prove that they can line dance better than anyone else. TK steps on a few toes as they make their way to an empty table.

“This is an interesting place, Carlos,” he says once they’re settled, Judd and Grace at a table a few feet away from them. “How’d you come to find it?”

Carlos smiles. “It reminds me of home,” he explains. “I’m from Austin, Texas. When I was finding my footing here, I stumbled across this place and it reminded me so much of what I’d just left that I kinda got attached to it.” Carlos smiles softly down at him. “I met Nancy and Mateo here. You already know Nancy. Mateo works with us at the school. He is, uhm,” Carlos hesitates, “I think they don’t realize that they’re kind of dating.”

TK’s heart stutters in his chest at the mention of Austin, distracting him so much he almost misses the rest of what Carlos says. He isn't brave enough to tell him that he lived in Austin for a few months over a decade ago, because that would mean opening the Pandora's box of his not-so-ideal past. Instead, he clears his throat, focusing on the rest of what Carlos had said.

“Are they also from Texas?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Carlos replies with a nod. “It feels like we transplants were meant to find each other in the big city. Tommy, too.”

TK doesn’t recognize that name, it’s the first time Carlos has mentioned anyone called Tommy, and his heart beats traitorously faster at the mere idea of Tommy being someone special in Carlos’ life.

“We all work at the same school. Tommy used to be a paramedic back in Austin, and now she’s a school nurse. She moved all the way up here when her twin daughters were barely a few months old, following her husband. He was a chef.”

TK doesn’t comment on the sheen of nostalgia that blurs Carlos’ words as he speaks. He doesn’t ask the question that’s burning on his tongue either — he wonders if Leyre’s mother is also part of the close circle of friends that Carlos seems to surround himself with. He says nothing, though, feeling like it isn’t his place to pry, and Carlos changes subjects quickly.

“Want a beer?”

“I, uh,” TK stammers. He doesn’t want to tackle this particular topic right now, but he knows he should, sooner rather than later. However, he settles for, “I’ll have a water.”

“Water it is,” Carlos replies easily, walking away to the bar to fetch them their drinks.

TK takes advantage of his solitude to scan the bar; there are a few people dancing on the floor, and some others playing darts in a secluded corner. He smiles at how different this is from his usual scene. Here, nobody seems to know or at least care who he is or what he does for a living, and it’s exhilarating to just be.

Carlos comes back with two water bottles and flops down next to him. “Here,” he offers. “I hope you like this brand. They didn’t have fizzy water.”

“Thanks,” he replies automatically, realizing that Carlos hasn’t ordered anything with alcohol. “You didn’t need to—”

“It’s okay,” Carlos dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I was thirsty, and water’s better. Want to dance?”

Just then, a new song starts that apparently is well-loved by the masses, drawing them all in. All of a sudden, the dance floor is packed with people line dancing. But it doesn’t deter TK and they join the crowd, where he lets Carlos teach him the basic steps. TK is frustratingly bad at line dancing, as it turns out, and he’s growing antsy at his own inability to do it right. “I’m a damned singer,” he mutters under his breath when he steps on Carlos’ toes once again. “I should know how to do this!”

Carlos laughs, the sound of it reverberating on TK’s skin. It’s thrilling to be this close to him and yet not close enough, and it’s also frustrating because he can’t seem to get his steps straight.

“This is complicated,” Carlos offers almost breathlessly. He knows Carlos is just saying that to make him feel better, and TK would love nothing more than to believe him. He holds his breath as Carlos lands one hand on TK’s waist to guide him, only for TK to end up stumbling into a large man and making him lose his step.

“If you don’t know how to dance, go back to dancing school, city boy,” the man scoffs, leaving TK agape and Carlos snickering by his side as he attempts to apologize in between laughs.

“I’ll have you know,” TK says indignantly to Carlos as he turns around to face his date again, “I’m actually a pretty good dancer. I took classes for several years. And, sure, I’m a city boy, but there’s no need to say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like an insult! As if the guy isn't from the city too!"

Carlos chuckles. "He could perfectly well be a transplant just like me." He twirls TK as the music changes from country to something more intimate.

"Still, no need to be rude about my dance moves, which I know aren’t great."

“Guess he hit a nerve,” Carlos says lowly, tugging at TK until there’s virtually no space between them.

“What is that supposed to mean?” TK asks back, distracted by the press of Carlos’ body against his.

“Nothing. Just seems like nobody’s ever spoken to you that way before.”

TK stops swaying along the music to look Carlos dead in the eye. “Do you think he’s right? Do you think I’m a city boy? In a bad way?”

“Do you?” Carlos counteracts, and TK laughs.

“I like being able to be told those things without anyone actually recognizing me.”

“So you admit you’re a city boy.”

“Oh, shut up,” TK says, doing something bolder to stop Carlos from teasing him further.

He moves closer, until there’s virtually no space left between them, and lands his hands on Carlos’ biceps. TK is aware that line dancing isn’t supposed to be performed the way they are dancing right now, but he couldn’t care less. Carlos doesn’t seem to mind either; his smile morphs into something verging on wicked and he moves them across the dance floor without a trace of stutter in his step. TK is equally impressed at his elegance and turned on by Carlos’ self-confidence.

They don’t speak much more after their last teasing exchange; TK is too preoccupied with keeping himself upright when all he wants to do is lean into Carlos’ personal space and stay there forever, dragged into Carlos’ orbit. Carlos isn’t helping matters, either; he keeps his gaze locked to TK’s, smoldering glances that burn deep in TK’s soul and set him aflame.

The songs merge into one another, but TK loses count of them soon enough. His only focus becomes the tether of Carlos’ hands on his waist, the depth of brown eyes searching his soul, the shiver coursing up his spine as his skin comes alive in every single spot Carlos is touching him.

He can’t help himself.

He kisses Carlos when they’re about to spin — TK has tuned out the rest of the world, so he’s not even aware of what kind of music they’re dancing to, he’s just conscious of Carlos’ presence surrounding him. And Carlos is truly everywhere.

He responds to TK’s kiss eagerly; maybe too eagerly, for TK needs to take a step back from the force with which Carlos kisses him back. But he doesn’t break contact; if anything, his grip on Carlos’ arms tightens as he lunges forward again, the slide of tongue against tongue turning the kiss sloppy and almost filthy. Carlos’ teeth worry on TK’s lower lip, and it’s all TK can do not to come undone right there and then.

“Uh,” he says eloquently, breathlessly, when Carlos pulls away.

“Maybe we could continue this somewhere else?” Carlos offers, dark pupils blown as he stares down at TK.

“Yes, please,” TK agrees, nodding. He grabs Carlos’ hand and tugs at him towards the further end of the place, where he suspects the bathrooms are.

They barely make it there before they’re all over each other, mindless of the world outside their bubble.

* ~ * ~ *

Their first date is also the last one before TK needs to travel to Los Angeles for an event with his record label, so they keep texting and FaceTiming for two and a half weeks before they can even be in the same city again.

On a Wednesday, Carlos wakes up to the beeping of his phone’s alarm. He blindly aims to grab it, fingers colliding against it before actually picking it up and raising it to face-level. He stayed up late texting with TK, who’s once again back in New York City. They were very excited about being back in the same time zone, and Carlos hadn’t realized how late it was until he only got around three hours left to sleep. On the screen of his phone, he sees both the button to snooze his alarm and a notification from his work inbox. He huffs; he really isn’t looking forward to whatever nonsense the school board might be up to, and he’s sure it’s them since they’re the only ones who write to him on his work email — his friends and colleagues know better and text him directly. With a groan, he stands up and hurries for the bathroom before Leyre wakes up and starts her morning routine, which, after spending time with both the women in her life and TK Strand, has become more of a half-hour ritual of rinsing and getting her hair done.

They’re only three minutes late when they walk through the door of the building, Nancy already ushering them as Tommy and the twins turn around the corner.

“What’s with the hurry today?” Carlos mutters as he follows them all down the street. “We’ll be on time, just like any other day.”

“You haven’t read your work email, right?” Nancy complains. “I knew I should have texted you.”

“Texted me about what?”

But before Nancy can answer him, Mateo is joining them with a grim expression on his face.

“What’s going on today?” Carlos muses. “Everyone seems so worried.”

“Well, you would be too,” Mateo snaps at him. “If you weren’t so engrossed in your lovey-dovey story with TK Strand.”

“That was—” Carlos refrains himself from saying any expletives when the twins and Leyre turn around at the noise. “That wasn’t nice, Mateo. I’m not so disconnected from the world that I—”

“Rumor is that they’re thinking about closing the school,” Mateo sighs. Carlos stops dead in his tracks, breathing sharply in. “And you’d know if you’d read your texts or picked up the phone. We’ve tried calling you about this. We’ve texted you. But you were too busy going out with TK to even ask.”

“I’m sorry I’ve missed the teachers’ meetings. And I’m sorry for ignoring you,” Carlos mutters. He grabs Mateo’s arm and holds him for a moment while Tommy and Nancy walk with the girls a few steps ahead. “Tell me what’s going on? Please?”

“Well, Billy Tyson’s on the case,” Mateo explains. “He wants to tear down the school and build a luxury apartment complex with magnificent views to—” Mateo gestures in the general area around them, “—the finest part of the neighborhood.”

“Billy Tyson’s not the brightest bean in the pod, Mateo,” Carlos tries to calm his friend. “I doubt he has enough power to pull off such a feat. The school’s numbers have been good for years. Sure, we’ve faced a few bumps down the road, but I doubt the board would want to close it now. We’re in the middle of the school year!”

“Apparently that’s all everyone’s talking about through the grapevine,” Mateo mumbles. “The school board wants to meet with everyone today at nine sharp. We’re expected to leave our classes unattended for I don’t know how long just to be told to gather our things and leave by the end of the semester. I can’t believe we’re going to be separated like that.”

“We won’t,” Carlos insists. “If it comes to that, we’ll fight.”

The thing is, Carlos learns as he is pulled into the largest meeting room in the whole building during lunch break that day, they won’t be given much to fight for.

He barely has time to greet Mitchell, already sitting upright on a chair, looking tense as she holds a steaming mug of coffee, before the whole board steps into the room and everyone grows silent. Carlos finds a seat sandwiched between Tommy and Nancy while Mateo snatches a free chair on the other side of the room. The rest of the teachers quickly find somewhere to sit and everyone looks up as Billy Tyson enters the place and takes a seat presiding over the table.

“Welcome, everyone,” he begins. “I’d like to thank you all for taking the time out of your busy morning to meet here with us.”

“I think I’m talking for all the teachers here,” Mitchell replies in an even voice, “when I say that we’d like for this sudden meeting to be short, since we haven’t had the time to schedule proper backup for the classes, Mr. Tyson.”

“Well, as it turns out, this is not going to be long.” Billy Tyson looks straight over to where Carlos is sitting. “I know most of you have responsibilities to go back to. Others, I fear, are just waiting for the media circus to wake up.”

Carlos squirms uncomfortably under Billy’s pointed stare. He knows he’s been gathering a lot of attention as of late, but the paparazzi has been respectful of the school’s grounds — respect for the laws preventing them from filming where minors attend school or general respect, Carlos can’t be sure — and there haven’t been any weird situations. He doesn’t know why Billy is bringing it up now.

“I wanted you to be the first to know, directly from me,” he continues, “as soon as Superintendent Radford’s retirement is official, I’m going to be the next Superintendent.” There are mutters of approval and polite congratulations that Billy quietens with a wave of his hand. “Thank you, thanks. But, uh, as you all know, I consider this school to be sacred ground.”

Carlos scoffs, low enough that he’s not heard, but Nancy elbows him so he remains silent.

“This school was built out of the effort of teachers before you, valiant, amazing teachers whose legacy you’ve all lived up to.” Billy stands and begins pacing up and down the width. “That's about the highest compliment I could ever pay you. Which makes this next part so hard.” He clears his throat and Carlos knows that, whatever he’s going to say, it’s going to destroy the peace in their world. “The board knows the effort you have been making these past years, but the numbers don’t add up. I’m so sorry to be the one to have to tear down all your hopes and dreams, but the situation has become untenable. There's no reason to continue what you're doing here for another school year. We're shutting down the school by the end of the semester. Sadly, it will be permanent.”

Carlos blinks up at the board members who are sitting next to where Billy Tyson’s standing, their faces blank as they stare back at them. Some of his fellow teachers have stood up, proffering all sorts of complaints, but he manages to stay put. One of his hands lands on Nancy’s arm; he tries to infuse her with all the calm he can muster up as he also looks for Mateo. His friend seems glued to his spot, unable to even look up from the table. Carlos knows he’s probably feeling every bit of devastation his posture is oozing off.

"The Education Department is headed for a financial crisis," one of the members of the board pipes in; Carlos doesn't even remember his name, an old and bald man with too much time on his hands and too little respect for the kids, apparently. "I just read a very persuasive report that says there's gonna be dire consequences if we don't start making the hard choices."

"I wrote that report," Billy admits. When the whole room explodes in groans and even more complaints without Mitchell even trying to calm her teachers down, Billy lifts a hand in what Carlos thinks is supposed to be an authoritative manner, but falls short. "Don't worry, all the kids that don't find a new school by the end of second term will be placed in a nearby school. The department will make sure not a single kid stops attending school. Teachers, on the other hand…" he says with an insincere frown. "We can't afford such an expense. I'm sorry. I understand it is a painful sacrifice. But it is for the greater good."

It's then that Mitchell chooses to retaliate, standing up, a few hairs falling out of her tight bun. "So, let me recap," she starts in a calm tone that Carlos, who knows her inside out, can tell is anything but. "You're closing the school, placing our kids elsewhere, firing us, and there's no chance for anyone to save it, am I right?" When Billy nods, followed by the voices of some other board members expressing their acquiescence, Mitchell asks, "Then, when should I schedule the meeting with the parents so the board can explain the situation to them?"

"That's something for you to deal with," Billy announces, just when Carlos thinks he couldn't hate the man more. "This board has done its duty by delivering the news to you all. How you transmit it to the parents is your business, not ours. If there aren't any more questions, I'll let you go to your classes. We wouldn't want the kids to be unattended, now, would we?"

"We're short on staff because they cut our budget three years ago," Mitchell huffs under her breath when the whole board leaves the room. "That's why the kids seem to be unattended. We are making a great effort with what little you’ve given us."

"This can't be happening," some voice calls out. "What are we going to do? Mid-school year, it's impossible for us to find a new job with such short notice. All the schools will be full."

"And the kids?" Carlos asks. "What are they going to do, the ones who can't find another school in time?" He thinks of his daughter, who's been through enough changes lately, and about how this one is going to make her feel. "Are they going to scatter them like they don't matter?"

Tommy squeezes his hand. When he turns to her, he can see understanding in her warm gaze. "We'll find a solution, Carlos. There has to be a way to keep this school open."

"Unless we can find a way to snatch that report and see how much it'd take to—" Nancy begins, only to be cut off by Mateo.

"That's it!" he exclaims. "That report should be available somewhere. If we can find a way to match the numbers—maybe with a fundraiser, or a crowdsourcing thingie—"

"Crowdsourcing thingie," Nancy scoffs. "But you're right. Are we going down without a fight?"

Mitchell shakes her head. “I understand you all, and I feel your frustration. But as much as I’d like to have a magical solution, I doubt we can manage to get as much money as is probably needed to save this school.”

“We can at least try,” Tommy states, standing up. “We won’t go down without a fight. Even if we lose in the end.”

Everyone nods their assent, and even Mitchell sighs and says, “I’ll see what I can do about the report, but the rest is all on you. I’ll have to deal with angry parents for the remainder of the month, and I think it’s better if I start scheduling meetings right away. The sooner they know, the sooner they can choose a new school for their children.”

“That doesn’t sound like fighting the system,” Nancy mutters as they all stand up and slowly leave the meeting room. “She’s already given up.”

“She’s only being rational, Nancy,” Tommy tries to explain. “We need to be prepared in case this—We need to be prepared for the worst case scenario. She has to deal with a lot right now,” Tommy tries to explain. “She’s the one in charge of telling the parents, and she’ll get the brunt of the reactions even though none of this is her fault at all. So I think it’s only fair that we carry most of the weight of saving the school.”

“How are we going to go about it?” Carlos asks as they walk through the corridors. His classroom is the first they reach, and he stands outside, barely avoiding being seen by the kids through the door’s window. “I don’t have any idea.”

“I’ll think about it,” Mateo promises. “I have a couple of free hours right now before my next class.”

“We’ll wait impatiently for that,” Nancy promises in an acidic tone before bidding them all goodbye and fleeing to her own room, where she’s been holding meetings with the older students about what they want to do with their futures this whole week long.

Carlos breathes in deeply before opening his door and stepping inside. Luckily, his pupils have behaved while he's been gone, so he finds a classroom that's calmly reading their textbooks under the attentive gaze of Molly Shutters, a senior student who's usually put in charge of his class whenever he needs to step out for whatever administrative reason and there's no other teacher available. He thanks her and watches her leave, wondering how she's going to fare for the last semester of her last year of school when she'll be forced to switch schools — or worse, to become homeschooled for six months.

To say he's distracted the rest of the day is an understatement. To his credit, the rest of the teachers that share lunchtime with him are equally subdued, and the air is vicious with grief and resentment. He can see a few of the youngest teachers checking their phones and punching on their screens; spying over the shoulder of one of them, Carlos can see the logo of an app he’s heard of. Apparently it’s the hottest one to find a new job at the moment. Carlos shakes his head at the idea of them already giving up.

"We'll find a way," Tommy promises him as she sits down next to him. "I just don't know which one."

"The easiest way is to admit defeat and find a new job," Carlos retaliates. "The only problem is where."

"What did they teach you at that Police Academy you went to like, a century ago?" Nancy points out as she flops down at Carlos' other side. "We have to fight."

"Well, my dad thought I was too soft to become a police officer," Carlos mutters. "He wasn't happy when I changed jobs either, because I was moving up here then."

"Sounds like someone who can't settle for anything that's not in his life plan."

"He's a Texas Ranger," Carlos tries to explain. "He just didn't understand that I never wanted to become one, and then he didn't understand that I had to respect Iris' wishes."

There's a pregnant pause as he fits as much of his salad into his mouth to prevent him from speaking too much about his past; he's shared some bits with Tommy and Nancy, fewer details with Mateo, and he has definitely not talked about his relationship with his parents with TK. Whatever they have, it’s way too new to be burdened with the knowledge that his parents love him, and accept him, in a way — just not in the way Carlos would have loved them to. They adore Leyre; but Carlos has never felt safe enough to bring anyone back to Austin to meet his family. Dan had been the only one who stuck around enough for Carlos to even consider it, but then he hadn’t been sure about it — wanting to keep his family and his love life separated in order not to hurt his parents — and Dan had resorted to the next best thing.

Which had been sacking up with one of his colleagues from the law firm he’d been working at.

“Anyway,” Carlos continues, clearing his throat. “We need to come up with a plan, and we’ll need a lot of money. Anyone have any ideas?”

Mateo nods as he attacks his pasta with gusto. Carlos frowns when he recognizes the smell coming out of that dish and briefly eyes Nancy’s lunch. He refrains from commenting when he realizes Nancy’s eating the same pasta, and it’s not from her usual lunchbox.

“Why don’t you share this with your boyfriend?” Mateo suggests. “I mean, he’s famous, isn’t he? He could help with the fundraiser.”

“You can’t seriously be suggesting that,” Carlos says, taken aback. He would never have thought of asking TK for money for this, and he’s aghast his friend has even said that out loud. “I won’t be asking TK for mo—”

“Not for money, you silly,” Mateo continues. “I’m not barbaric. But he’s got traction. He has like, a million followers on Instagram. If we were looking for publicity, TK Strand would be my go-to man for all social media related marketing.”

“Marjan is a beast,” Carlos admits. “She’s the one managing all his social media profiles. Nancy knows her.”

“Oh, I do,” Nancy smiles around a mouthful of pappardelle. “She’s amazing.” When Nancy says nothing else, Carlos sighs.

“I guess I can talk to TK. This is just—”

“Special treatment?” Tommy offers when his words falter.

“Nepotism?” Nancy adds. Carlos scoffs.

“I’d say it’s a bedside conversation,” Mateo jokes.

Carlos dismisses them with a wave of his hand as he finishes his salad. “We need to set some boundaries about what’s a proper conversation and what’s not,” he warns before standing up. “I need to go back to my classroom. Some of us are trying to mold the new generation, you know,” he adds teasingly as he walks over to the sink and rinses his bowl before carefully drying it up and placing it back in his lunchbox. Without even saying anything else, he walks out of the teachers’ room and into the corridors.

Since there are still a few minutes left before lunch break ends and classes resume, the corridors are bursting with students rushing to their lockers and talking before they have to step into their late afternoon classes. However, as Carlos walks among the crowd, there’s a reverent silence that precedes him, and a string of hushed murmurs that follow as he steps across the corridors. Every single student is aware of his relationship with worldwide famous singer TK Strand; Carlos hasn’t fooled himself into believing that their dating would be coveted and secret. But he’s still trying to get used to the stares and the comments he overhears whenever the students think he’s not listening.

Being in the eye of the media hurricane isn’t as easy as it seems when celebrities show up on TV. Being followed by photographers, being talked about in yellow magazines, being the focus of all the gossip in the world — that’s something he could pretend to ignore because he still had the sanctuary of his classes and the school. Now, with every single student muttering about him, with every single teacher looking at him differently for who he’s dating — Carlos isn’t sure how he’s going to wade through that new situation.

And things with TK have been wonderful, he can’t complain about that. They’re slowly getting to know each other, after that first date that ended passionately in the bathroom of a bar. He isn’t ready to let his friends know that there haven’t been any bedside conversations as of late; he’s taking his sweet time with TK because, despite knowing that he’s falling hard and fast for the singer, both of them are in a delicate situation. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t fantasized about undressing TK, feeling his skin under his fingertips, and doing all sorts of naughty things that he really shouldn’t be thinking of while heading to his afternoon classes.

The rest of his school day flies by as he teaches Math and encourages his pupils to join the school’s math club that only he knows has little to no chance to make it even to the regionals, given the short notice Billy Tyson has given them for the closure of the school. Carlos wants to scream, but he can’t let his anger and frustration out while in front of the children, so he bites the inside of his cheek and answers the questions the kids ask as well as he possibly can. By the time the last bell rings, he’s worn out and itching to leave the building, and it’s not until Tommy passes by him when he’s locking the classroom that he remembers he’d agreed to go on a date with TK.

“I’ll be picking Leyre and the twins up now,” Tommy announces. “So you guys can relax,” she adds with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

Carlos shoots her a death glare. “I hate you,” he mutters.

Even though he isn’t a big fan of playdates in the middle of the school week, Carlos has to admit that he needs a moment without kids to just unravel, and Tommy knows exactly how to help. He feels a bit guilty, as well, since the source of his frustration is exactly the same as hers, but she’s better at managing it.

“Don’t rush,” she tells him. “I can feed them dinner, and she can stay for the night. It’s not the first time.”

"I don't think that will be necessary," Carlos insists. Before he can say anything else, he spies Leyre, Evie and Izzie waiting for them at the end of the corridor. "You've told them already, haven't you?" he accuses.

"Evie had a free period," Tommy explains. "And after what Mateo said at lunch, I remembered that you guys haven't had a proper date in forever, with TK’s crazy schedule these past weeks. So, you're welcome, lover boy."

"I hate you," Carlos grits out again as they approach the children.

Leyre surprises him by hugging him briefly in public, and whispering into his shirt, "I love you, Papi."

"That's all because I'm allowing a playdate on a school night. I will be picking you up at nine sharp," Carlos promises.

“I thought we’d agreed Leyre could spend the night,” Tommy insists.

“You offered,” Carlos says with a polite smile. “But it won’t be necessary. Maybe another time, okay?”

“Will your boyfriend,” Leyre asks with a pleading look in her eyes, “be coming as well?”

“To pick you up from Tommy’s?” Carlos feigns to think about it before saying, “We’ve talked about this, Leyre. I know you want to meet him. But not yet, okay?”

Leyre lets out a whoop and hugs him even tighter. Carlos is beginning to think that his preteen daughter might love TK Strand — boyfriend, singer and celebrity crush extraordinaire — more than she loves Carlos himself.

"Have fun, and behave," he tells the three of them before they take off, leaving him alone with Tommy. "Are you proud of yourself yet?"

"Very much so," she says smugly.

Carlos would have screamed right then and there, but he purses his lips in a tight line and walks to retrieve his things. The first thing he does as he grabs his phone is text TK.

Tommy has taken Leyre for the evening.

The reply is almost immediate. Your place or mine?

Mine's closer to Tommy’s.

You've got yourself a date.

Carlos has never in his life rushed so much to get back home. He gets to his apartment with just enough time to throw his messenger bag across the living room and try to tame the rebel curls that have fallen out of their gelled trap before the bell is ringing.

When he opens the door, he is greeted with a sight to behold — TK wearing a yellow hoodie that looks comfortable, with a hint of mischief in his impossible eyes.

"Wow," Carlos breathes out.

"Like what you see?" TK greets. Before Carlos can say anything, TK’s grabbing the front of his shirt and tugging at it so Carlos is leaning forward.

The kiss is both searing and calming, making him soar and grounding him all at once. Carlos kisses back, hands roaming up TK’s arms as the events and worries of the day are pushed to the back of his mind. He finds himself way too busy with TK to give room to any negative thoughts. Instead, he’s feeling and nipping and nibbling. He lets out a moan that suddenly reminds him where they are.

"We don't want to give my neighbors a whole show," he mumbles. "Come inside."

"That was the plan," TK says coyly, leaning in and dropping a kiss right below Carlos' ear that leaves him panting.

He closes the door behind his back with a well-aimed kick of his foot, and attaches himself once again to the plush lips and the pliant body that’s underneath his, pressed against the wall closest to the entrance. They separate long enough to take a breath and move blindly around the space, until Carlos’ legs hit his couch and he loses his balance, pulling TK down with him.

[blueskrugs]

Mary’s Song | Tyson Jost

happy friday! we’ve got josty this week! even better, this one’s longer and has minimal angst. I hope y’all like it, thanks again to @broadstbroskis​ for being my beta, and I’ll see you next week with the first song from Fearless!

length: 2.7k words

I looked at you like the stars that shined in the sky, the pretty lights And our daddies used to joke about the the two of us, growing up and falling in love

You’d known Tyson Jost for as long as you could remember . You had been neighbors when you were little, had gone to the same preschool and everything. Your moms said you’d been inseparable from the start. 

Well, really, Tyson had offered you some of his snack, and you’d declared that you were best friends. It had kinda just stuck.

You heard your moms laughing sometimes, and they would say that you looked at Tyson like he’d hung the stars in the sky, though you didn’t understand what it meant at the time. You just knew that Tyson was your favorite person, and that you wanted to be friends with him forever.

Take me back when our world was one block wide I dared you to kiss me, and ran when you tried

Tyson got into hockey when you were still little. He was head over heels from the start, though from the one time you had tagged along with Laura and a toddling Kacey to practice, it seemed like there was more falling than playing hockey.

“I bet I could teach you how to ice skate,” Tyson said one day after school. 

You laughed, because he knew that you were scared of falling, but Tyson was looking at you earnestly, all messy hair and bright brown eyes. You were seven, and Tyson was starting to show some talent on the ice, you knew he loved it, but you would like to keep your feet on solid ground, thank you very much.

“Aw, come on,” Tyson begged. 

“No way, Tys,” you said, but Tyson kept pushing, literally, shoving up into your space and leaning on you.

“It’ll be fun!” he tried. You just shook your head at him. “Alright, fine. Tyson’s eyes turned mischievous, and you knew then that this wasn’t going to end well for you. “What about a bet? If I win, I get to teach you how to ice skate.”

He had you there. You were nothing if not competitive, and Tyson knew that better than anyone. And when Tyson with you and competition, you would stop at nothing to win. 

“Ugh, fine,” you said, crossing your arms. “But a bet’s cheating, and you know it.” 

Tyson just grinned at you. You thought for a minute. Tyson was bigger than you, just a little, but still enough that he wasn’t above tackling you into a snowbank to get the upper hand. You knew because he had done it just last week. 

You had an idea.

“Bet you can’t catch me,” you said, and Tyson opened his mouth to complain. But you pressed a kiss to his cheek before scrambling off the steps you were sitting on, and Tyson was left staring after you, mouth still open.

You’d overheard the other boys in your class talking about cooties and teasing Tyson about being best friends with you just the other day. He’d been blushy and weird about it for a couple days before deciding that he could, in fact, be best friends with a girl, cooties or not.

You laughed, loud in the quiet of your neighborhood, as you heard Tyson shout, “Hey!” and collect himself enough to race after you. 

He did end up catching you, because you were too busy laughing to keep running. You’d never admit it to Tyson, either, but letting him teach you how to skate was fun.

Well, I was 16 when suddenly I wasn’t that little girl you used to see They never believed we’d really fall in love

In another few years, hockey went from something for Tyson to everything, and he was heading off to B.C. You didn’t let Tyson see you cry when he left you behind, but it was hard, only 12 years old and watching your best friend get on a plane for 800 miles away. You didn’t want him to forget about you.

Tyson always came home, though, and when he was too far away, he would always call, always answer the phone for you. Before you knew it, you weren’t kids anymore, and Tyson was getting drafted. You were there with his mom and Kacey when Colorado called his name. You were so happy for him, but as you watched him pull that jersey over his head, you couldn’t help but feel like you were losing your best friend again. You weren’t sure you’d get him back this time.

Except in the middle of the madness that was the draft party back home later that week, Tyson grabbed you by the arm and dragged you outside. He was still wearing an Avs hat, but it was crooked, and his cheeks were flushed.

“I’m proud of you,” you told him. You felt like you’d been saying that a lot lately, but you still meant it every time. Tyson just shrugged at you, ducking his head. 

“I wanna talk to you about something,” he said. Up close like this, Tyson seemed nervous.

“Tys. What’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna miss you,” he admitted, but there was still something he wasn’t saying. He’d left you before, that wasn’t anything new.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, Tys, but-”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Tyson blurted, cutting you off.

You froze. Tyson looked unsure, curls askew under that stupid hat, and, yeah, he was just your best friend, but you’d probably been a little bit in love with him for years, too.

You didn’t quite know how to say that, so you stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss to Tyson’s lips. When you pulled back, hands still on Tyson’s shoulders, he was grinning down at you.

“So.” Tyson’s hands found your hips. “Guess you love me, too?”

“I take it back.” Tyson was going to be annoying about this, you could already.

“Nope,” Tyson said. He kissed you again, because he could. “Too late.”

Not much changed after that. You and Tyson still spent all of your time together, except there was a lot more kissing. Tyson had always been a tactile person, always looking for an excuse to be close to you, to be touching you in some way, and now he didn’t need an excuse. You couldn’t turn around without Tyson being there, a kiss pressed to your cheek, your temple, your lips. 

You rolled your eyes at him every time, but you didn’t really mind. 

You saw your moms smiling knowingly at you two sometimes, when they saw you curled up on the couch watching a movie, and you remembered the way they used to say you looked at Tyson like he’d hung the stars. You knew what that meant now, and they might’ve been on to something all those years ago. 

You asked Tyson about it one night late that first summer together, underneath those very stars, on your backs in the grass. 

“How’d you know?” Tyson turned his head to look at you. “That you were in love with me?” You were still young, but with Tyson it just seemed right.

Tyson laughed, rolling to his side and propping himself up on one elbow.

“I think I’ve always been in love with you,” he admitted. He was blushing a little. 

You leaned up to kiss him, and when you pulled back, he was blushing harder. “Me too.” 

You weren’t able to be there the night Tyson made his debut, but he called you after the game, all bright eyes and flushed cheeks and messy curls that you loved so much. 

“I love you,” he said quietly, like he still didn’t quite believe any of this was happening.

You wished you could be there to hug him, tell him again how proud you were of him. 

Take me back to the time we had our very first fight, the slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight You stayed outside ‘til the morning light

The distance never did get easier, especially on the days Tyson struggled with his hockey, and you wondered if there would ever come a day where Tyson would have to decide which he loved more: you or hockey.

But there were always summers together, and long weekends and spring break. You made it work. Or, you thought you did. 

“Have you ever thought about transferring schools?” Tyson asked one day out of the blue. He’d only been home a couple of weeks after the Avs had been knocked out by San Jose.  You were sitting on the front porch swing after dinner, Tyson’s arm around your shoulders, but you tensed and pulled away from him.

“Why would I switch schools?” You had stayed close to home, and you were on pace to graduate early. Most importantly, you were happy.

Tyson shrugged, but his nonchalance seemed fake. “You could come down to Denver,” he said. He was looking over your shoulder at the sunset.

You raised your eyebrows at him. You hadn’t followed Tyson to UND, and you weren’t about to uproot your life to follow him to Denver. He’d been okay with that. You’d thought he’d been, at least.

“I’m not switching schools, Tys,” you said. You couldn’t decide if you were really angry or just hurt. This wasn’t Tyson asking you to move to Denver with him; it was him asking you to give up the life you were building and planning to be his girlfriend.

You stopped yourself from reminding Tyson that he couldn’t even stay in the lineup again this season, because he knew that already.

“Why not?” Tyson looked like he really didn’t get it. “You do want to come to Denver, one day, right?”

And, yeah, of course you did. There wasn’t a future in your head that didn’t have Tyson by your side. But you were supposed to graduate first, be able to start a life of your own out in Colorado, not just follow Tyson there.

“What if I don’t?” came out of your mouth instead. Tyson's face fell. He’d hurt you, and now you’d hurt him, too. “Tyson, my friends and family are all here, how am I just supposed to leave everyone behind?” You would, one day. You just weren’t ready yet.

“I did it.” Tyson’s voice was small. 

He had, and you’d been one of the ones he’d left behind, over and over.

“And what if you change your mind about me, about us?” 

Tyson recoiled as if you had slapped him. You supposed you had, in a way.

“I won’t,” Tyson said lowly. He looked like he wanted to grab your hand. “I would never.”

You believed him, but you couldn’t do this anymore tonight.

“Good night, Tyson,” you said, standing up and heading inside. You didn’t look over your shoulder to see Tyson’s face as the screen door shut behind you. 

You woke up the next morning to find Tyson passed out on your living room couch. He was still wearing yesterday’s clothes. 

“Sweetheart,” your mom said carefully as you walked into the kitchen. “Why did I find Tyson asleep on the porch swing when I went out for the paper this morning?”

You giggled a little in spite of yourself. Like a lot of things, last night’s fight felt a little stupid in the daylight. That also explained how Tyson was currently drooling on one of your mom’s throw pillows.

“We got in a little bit of a fight last night,” you told her. “I should probably wake him, eh?” He didn’t look very comfortable, but you didn’t imagine he’d slept very well outside, either.

Your mom just smiled into her coffee.

You watched Tyson sleep for a moment before poking him to wake up. He pressed his face deeper into the pillow for a second before blinking disgruntledly up at you.

“Hey.”

“You’re an idiot,” you told him, but it just came out fond. Tyson grinned up at you. He had pillow creases on his face.

You ended up going out for breakfast, after taking Tyson home to change into not-stale clothes. You both apologized over waffles, but you didn’t talk about it. It was fine, you were fine. The future was scary. 

Tyson didn’t bring it up again that summer. Not until you were on FaceTime one late night after the season started, when you were both tired and defenses were down. It was easier to talk about the future that way, for some reason, making plans while you were both half asleep. You dreamed of mountains that night.

Denver could wait, and Tyson would always be there waiting for you, too. 

A few years had gone and come around, we were sitting at our favorite spot in town And you looked at me, got down on one knee

Years passed. You graduated college. Moved to Denver, moved in with Tyson. You loved Denver, and you loved Tyson. And on late nights when you couldn’t sleep, you could just reach across the bed instead of reaching for the phone.

It happened back home in Alberta, though, because Tyson was sentimental like that, and home was where it all began.

You were next to Tyson on porch swing after dinner, just like you had so many times before, except tonight Tyson seemed nervous. He was clutching your hand tightly, and he was rambling, some story about JT you were pretty sure you’d heard before. When he paused to take a breath, you nudged him with your clasped hands. 

“What’s up, babe?” you asked. Tyson’s ears turned red the way they always did when you called him “babe.”

Tyson squeezed your hand, then brought it up to his mouth to press a quick kiss to the back of it. 

“Do you remember all the days we used to spend out here when we were kids?”

You did. You’d do your homework out on the porch swing on nice days, and when there wasn’t homework, you’d find some other reason to be outside. It had always been both of yours favorite spot. 

“I always hoped we’d end up back here like this one day, y’know?” 

You did know, but Tyson was letting go of your hand and sliding off the swing, down on one knee next to you, before you could respond.

“Tyson,” you breathed out instead.

There was a ring in Tyson’s hands, and he kept turning it over nervously as he continued talking. You had a half thought to hope he didn’t drop it.

“In my head, I was gonna have this great speech, and it was gonna be all romantic and shit, but now I can’t think of any words to say.”

You giggled and reached out to run your fingers through Tyson’s hair before cupping his cheek. He leaned into the touch. The sun was setting behind him, bright pinks and yellows across the sky, and it was just like every other time you’d sat right here together. 

“I love you,” you said, because it seemed important. 

“You’ve been in my life for as long as I can remember, and I can’t think of anyone else I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because that’s all I want, to be with you forever.” Tyson paused, took a deep breath. “Y/N, will you marry me?” he asked, looking up at you with big brown eyes.

“Yes, Tyson, of course,” you said, laughing. You might’ve been crying, too;  it was a little hard to tell. 

After all this time, you and I…

Alberta was home, but so was Denver. Tyson had been by your side for as long as you could remember, and he’d be there for as long as you could imagine.

You’d been lucky to fall in love with your best friend, but you’d probably always been a little bit in love with him, so maybe luck had nothing to do with it.

When you bought a new home together, Tyson insisted that you had to have a porch swing. Not that you would have objected.

“D’you think our kids will be like us one day?” he asked you once. There was a ring to match yours on his finger, now.

“What?” All those years, and sometimes you still didn’t understand half of what came out of Tyson’s mouth. 

“Like, cute, fall in love with the kid next door stuff,” Tyson said. 

You just laughed. 

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Here’s the ask to answer for your next try, lol. If only the people knew what we’re doing..

I don’t know what you’ve been planning with this, but I am scared.

Make me cry, Vaunna. Good luck!

we went for the happy kind of cry last time and it did not work SO here’s the soul-destroying kind of angst :3 good luck everybody

btw this is an AU to my fanon. it is in no way canon, it’s just a thing i thought might make Raven cry so :3 (and honestly im super proud of it so im happy whether or not it succeeds LOL)

a/n: bc a lot of my helsmits have the nickname Hels now, i’ve decided not to shorten their name to Hels when i’m writing them so that’s why Helsknight is continually referred to by his full name. sorry if it’s kinda awkward but it’s the way i wanna write it :)

…

Emerging from the forest, Wels takes in a deep breath of fresh air and sits down on a rock, the Yes Wings Club building in sight. After a nice walk out here with his hels counterpart, he needs to rest his legs for a moment.

“What is this?” asks Helsknight, approaching his counterpart with a thin pink object in his hand.

Wels glances up. “Oh, that’s an allium. It’s a flower.”

Helsknight stares at it for a moment. “What’s it for?”

“It looks pretty.”

“It does look pretty,” agrees Helsknight. “But is it functionally useful?”

Wels thinks for a moment. “It helps bees make honey. And you can give it to someone you like to show that you like them. But really, it’s just pretty.”

“Huh. Back in Helscraft, nothing exists just to be pretty.” After a moment, Helsknight sighs. “If I was in Helscraft, I’d just toss this back on the ground. Useless.”

“You’re not in Helscraft anymore,” Wels responds warmly. “You’re in Hermitcraft. If you like the flower, you should keep it. Useless doesn’t necessarily mean worthless.”

“That’s… That’s true.”

After a moment, Helsknight offers the flower to Wels, who gives a pleasantly confused frown. “What are you doing?”

Helsknight coughs awkwardly. “You, uh… You said you can give flowers to someone you like. I like you. Kind of.”

A wide grin appears on Wels’s face as he accepts the allium from his counterpart. “Aww. I think you’re actually starting to fit into Hermitcraft life.”

“How dare you,” Helsknight deadpans.

Wels laughs. “It’s not so bad. You seem a lot happier now than you were a few weeks ago. Maybe sometime soon, we can go ask Xisuma if you can be properly integrated into Hermitcraft.”

Helsknight stares at him hopefully. “Really? Do you think he’ll say yes?”

“If he sees how much you’ve changed and how valuable a member you can be, I think he might!”

“Wow…” Helsknight gazes down at the ground. “I can’t believe it might actually happen. I might never have to go back to Helscraft again.”

“If I have my way, you’ll stay here forever,” says Wels. “Anyway, you said you wanted to spar, right? It’s getting close to sunset; we’ll have to go home soon.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, let’s do it.”

Wels jumps up from his perch and the two start sparring with their swords. Within a minute, Helsknight sweeps Wels’s legs out from under him, causing him to crash to the ground, losing his weapon. “Hey!” Wels yelps. “That’s cheating!”

Helsknight laughs as he points his sword at Wels. “I believe that’s called a checkmate.”

Wels chuckles back and is about to respond when they both hear a voice scream Wels’s name from the direction of the Yes Wings Club building.

“Impulse?!” gasps Wels. “What is he-?!”

“Get away from Wels!” Impulse yells, charging at Helsknight with a sword. As the helsmit was not expecting an attack, Impulse is able to knock the sword out of Helsknight’s hand with no trouble.

“Impulse, don’t!” Wels yelps, struggling to get up. “He’s good now! He’s not evil anymore!”

But Impulse is already attacking Helsknight, who is unable to properly defend himself without a weapon.

Wels scrambles to his feet. “IMPULSE, STOP! HE’S NOT A THREAT ANYMORE!”

As Helsknight stumbles, Impulse lunges, clearly not thinking straight, clearly just trying to defend Wels from what he perceives to be an attack on his friend.

But he’s going to kill Helsknight. Forever.

So Wels shoves Helsknight out the way of Impulse’s attack. Impulse tries to stop his strike but it’s already too late.

Impulse’s blade pierces the centre of Wels’s chest and goes straight through the other side.

Letting go of his sword in shock and horror, Impulse stumbles backwards.

Helsknight quickly catches Wels as the latter’s knees sag and he lowers his counterpart to the ground, pulling out Impulse’s sword and tossing it away. He tries to stop the bleeding but it’s no use; the wound is too severe.

“Wels, I’m sorry!” Impulse cries. “I’m so sorry!”

Wels grasps weakly at Helsknight’s wrist, causing the latter to lift his torso up onto his lap. “Hels, don’t blame yourself,” Wels whispers. “P-Please. This was m-my choice, okay? Mine.”

“Wels…” Helsknight gazes down at his counterpart with anguished eyes. “Why would you do that for me…?”

“B-Because I like you,” rasps Wels with a weak smile. “Kind of.”

Helsknight squeezes his eyes shut, not trusting himself to speak again.

Finally, he feels Wels’s hand slide off his wrist, and he knows it’s over.

Welsknight was slain by impulseSV

Several seconds go by.

“Wh-Why isn’t he respawning?” Impulse croaks, starting to panic. “Why is his body still here? WHY ISN’T HE RESPAWNING?!”

Helsknight gazes down at Wels’s body with tears in his eyes. “I… Part of me didn’t think it was actually real…”

“WHAT’s real?” demands Impulse, his voice shrill with panic.

“It- It’s called the Hels Curse,” Helsknight explains shakily. “If a helsmit is directly or indirectly responsible for their counterpart’s death, their counterpart won’t respawn. It’s- It’s permadeath. And the curse is extremely specific, so it doesn’t matter that you were the one who killed him. Because you were aiming for me and he pushed me out of the way, I am indirectly responsible for his death.” Helsknight hangs his head and gently touches Wels’s shoulder. “He’s gone. Forever.”

His chest feels so heavy, weighed down by the knowledge that his best friend is dead. Wels loved Helsknight so much that he willingly sacrificed his life for him. That thought alone is enough to make a few tears flow from his eyes.

For the first time in his life, Helsknight is crying.

But after a few seconds, something springs to his mind and he hurriedly wipes his eyes. There IS something he can do. Another mechanism of being a helsmit that he can use here.

“This is your fault!” Impulse screams suddenly, kicking Helsknight away from Wels. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“Wait wait wait wait!” yelps Helsknight, frantically backing away from the furious hermit. “I can save him! I can save him!”

Impulse freezes in the process of picking up his sword. “What?”

“There’s a thing called the Altruist Failsafe,” Helsknight explains hurriedly. “Helsmits are created from the energy and lifeforce of their hermit counterparts. That’s why the curse exists: when a helsmit kills a hermit, they absorb the rest of their lifeforce, which is why they don’t respawn. But it also means they can give their lifeforce back to their hermit counterpart.”

Impulse stares at him suspiciously. “Are you saying you, an evil hermit, would sacrifice your life for Wels?”

Helsknights nods earnestly. “Wels took the blow you aimed at me. I was meant to die, not him. He deserves to live, not me. I can’t live in this world without him.”

With that, he moves over to Wels’s body and kneels down by his side. Impulse steps back, watching him with a mix of suspicion and curiosity.

Helsknight presses his hands to the centre of his chest and closes his eyes. After counting to three, he slowly moves them away from his chest, drawing out a small glowing red heart.

This is Helsknight’s lifeforce and without it, he can feel his strength already draining away.

So he quickly but carefully moves it down to Wels and pushes it into his chest the same way he had drawn it out of his own.

Immediately, Wels’s body starts to glow.

Helsknight rises unsteadily to his feet and staggers a few blocks away. He kneels beside the rock Wels had been sitting on earlier and props himself up against it, gazing up at the stars one last time.

They’re so beautiful.

Impulse, kneeling at Wels’s side, watches him. He watches Helsknight’s chest stop moving. He watches the light leave Helsknight’s eyes.

And at the same moment, Wels’s eyes open and he takes in an involuntary breath.

“Wels!” Impulse gasps. “You’re alive!”

Wels blinks in confusion, his gaze flickering all over as he tries to register where he is. “Wait, what happened? I-I’m supposed to be dead.”

“Helsknight gave his life for you,” explains Impulse quietly. “Some kind of… altruist thing, he said?”

“Oh-!” Wels’s heart freezes as his gaze lands on the limp body of Helsknight, propped up against the rock. Oh no! Nonononononono!”

He scrambles over to Helsknight and lifts his body onto his lap, trying desperately to awaken his counterpart. “Hels! HELS! NO!”

As it becomes increasingly obvious that Helsknight is dead, Wels hugs his body close to him, fighting back tears. “Why, Hels…?” he croaks. “Why would you do that for me…?”

“I’m sorry, Wels,” Impulse whispers, standing a few blocks behind Wels. “But… But you’re alive now. Isn’t that the best outcome?”

It takes Wels a few seconds to register what Impulse just said. “W-What…?! No!”

“A world where you’re dead and your hels counterpart is alive is not a good world, Wels,” says Impulse gently.

“I don’t care!” Wels’s voice cracks halfway through his sentence. “There’s a reason I jumped in front of your sword!”

Impulse, clearly taken aback by how furious Wels seems to be at him, gives a deep frown. “Wels, I don’t think you understand: you were permadead! You weren’t gonna respawn!”

“I KNOW!” Wels roars. “Hels told me about the curse!”

Impulse’s eyes widen in shock as he realises what his friend is trying to say. “Y-You were really okay with permadying for him?”

Wels carefully lowers Helsknight’s body to the ground and stands up to face his friend. “YES because HE would’ve permadied if you’d killed him! You just don’t LISTEN, do you?! I tried to tell you!”

“I-I’m sorry!” Impulse cries. “I saw him attacking you and I thought-!”

“I TRIED TO TELL YOU HE WASN’T A THREAT!” bellows Wels, unleashing all his grief and fury. “I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOOD NOW! AND YOU KILLED HIM ANYWAY!”

“I just wanted to protect y-!”

SLASH.

impulseSV was slain by Welsknight

Wels collapses to his hands and knees, his sword falling to the ground surrounded by Impulse’s items. He’s just killed his friend, but he no longer cares. Impulse will respawn. Helsknight will not.

He can’t believe Helsknight is gone. Not just gone but he sacrificed his life for Wels. He remembers Helsknight telling him about both the Hels Curse and the Altruist Failsafe. Part of him always knew he would die to the Hels Curse, but he never expected both of them to come into play within minutes of each other.

After a moment, he picks up Impulse’s shovel and starts to dig a hole in the ground not far from Helsknight’s body. When this is done, he carefully lifts his counterpart’s body into the hole and gently places Impulse’s sword in Helsknight’s hands, arranged so that the blade lies pointing towards the foot of the grave.

He sits back on his heels and takes a deep breath, letting tears fall from his eyes.

“Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms,” he says hoarsely, reciting an old soldiers’ prayer that he had learned during his service.

With that, he methodically fills in the hole and sticks his sword in the ground above its head as a makeshift gravestone. And as a final touch, he plants an allium over the site. The allium that Helsknight had given him just half an hour ago. When everything in the world was good and the future felt bright.

As Wels turns to leave, he spots an iron sword lying on the ground a little way off. He realises with a jerk that it’s Helsknight’s sword, lying where its owner had dropped it when he had been attacked by Impulse.

He picks it up and inspects the blade. A memory of Helsknight crafting this sword resurfaces and what he was talking about as he did.

If our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear.

He recalls the way Helsknight spoke about Helscraft back then, how it’s a horrible place because the universe gave the best worlds to Hermitcraft and abandoned Helscraft to fend for itself. How passionately he spoke about wanting to create a better life for his Hels siblings.

And another hand reaches out to take up our arms.

His hand closes around the hilt of the sword and he lifts it aloft, closing his eyes against the rain that has started to fall from the darkening sky, as if the server itself is weeping for Wels’s loss.

“I’ll fight in your name, Hels,” he vows. “I won’t let your sacrifice be in vain.”

[captain-jensen]

The Most Powerful Thing

Chris Evans x Reader

Request: Are you taking requests? If so, can you do a Chris (or Sebastian) x reader one where they're at an event and his ex (also an actress) comes up to Chris multiple times. Even when the reader isn't there but she sees from afar. And his ex is constantly flirting and bringing up the good times they had. And the reader feels insecure cuz how can she compete?

Warnings: Some angst, fluff, swearing.

Authors Note: It’s been a while since I’ve written so I’m rusty. No specified race or gender for the reader! I hope you all enjoy it. It hasn’t been proofread though so just a fair warning. 

       Stepping out of the car and into the flashing of the cameras for the first time ever was an extremely overwhelming experience to say the least. Tonight was yours and Chris’ first time going public with your relationship. It’s only been 6 months and you had no idea how people were going to react to one of Hollywoods’ most eligible bachelors dating a normal person, someone who isn’t a model, or an actress, or a singer. To be honest you were really scared. Scared of the judgement from his fans, and scared of the judgement from the public in general. Everyone was going to be looking for any possible imperfection that could exist. Chris on the other hand, couldn’t be more thrilled. Even though he understood your anxieties about tonight, he could not be more exstatic to show the world that you were his and that he was yours. Chris had become so used to the attention that was paid to him that he knew nothing anyone said could change how he feels, but he still made sure to pay extra close attention to how you were feeling and was very reassuring. Even though you were scared shitless you knew all you had to do was try really hard to not pay any mind to the negativity. One thing you absolutely could not get your mind off of however, was the fact that one of Chris’ gorgeous exs’ would be there. 

   Walking the carpet was easy enough. All the press seemed thrilled that they now had a juicy new piece to write about Chris Evans’ “mysterious new woman”. Getting inside the venue was something out of a dream. A great big ballroom lit up with beautiful coloured lights and decorations. You couldn’t stop yourself from gushing to Chris and taking pictures of everything, wanting to commit the evening to memory as best as you could. Chris watched in amusement as he realized for what seems like the first time ever how wonderful all of this stuff could be. Watching you experience it all made him develop a whole new type of appreciation for his life. Then, out of nowhere a voice came up from behind you and Chris. “Awe how sweet! Taking pictures to show to your mommy and daddy when you get home?” You heard a high pitched voice feign adoration. Just as you turn around you see a pair of small arms wrap themselves around your boyfriends slender waist. Chris very reluctantly gives a half-assed hug to the woman. “Chris it’s so good to see you again, it’s been a few months now hasn’t it?” 

“Well it’s actually been more like a year or so” Chris corrects her. “This is Y/N, Y/N this is an old friend” Chris moves to wrap an arm around your waist to introduce you. 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you” You sheepishly greet. She gives you nothing more than a daunting once-over before turning her attention back to Chris. You decide to shake it off though. 

“Chris you look absolutely delicious tonight! Is that the tie I bought for you for that one birthday? As I recall, we had some good times with that tie” She coos with a smirk and reminiscent eyes as she reaches a perfectly manicured hand out to his chest.

“No actually, this is just the tie that came with the rental suit” Chris replies emotionless. 

“Oh, well it looks really familiar” She says, clearly trying to get the last word. 

“Well you’re mistaken i guess. Anyways, we should find our seat” Before she can get another word in, Chris turns you and ushers you infront him with his hands on your waist. “Don’t pay any attention to her. She just really likes stirring the pot and getting attention”

Trying to seem chill and secure you simply respond with a sarcastic “Oh really? I thought she seemed really nice” which earns a chuckle from Chris. After finding your seats and settling in Chris offers to grab drinks for you both from the bar. Noticing that he’s been gone for a bit you turn to scan the crowd for him. When your eyes finally find him your heart stops beating. From a distance you see his ex girlfriend basically draping herself over him, giggling and obviously trying to fuck him with her eyes. Unable to bear the sight and the embarrasment you make your way to the bathroom. Just as Chris sees you practically running to the bathroom he pries himself out of the grip of the clout vulture to make his way to you. He makes it just as you’re about to open the door. Grabbing your wrist Chris gets your attention with a small “Hey!” When you turn around he can see the tears brimming your eyes and the poorly hidden pout on your lips. “Can we go talk outside?” he asks, earnestly concerned about you. Following him through the crowd you spot her eyes trailing you a glint of smugness that you just wanted to slap right off of her face. 

   When you finally maneuver your way across the building you find yourselves in a peaceful garden scene. “Do you want to talk about this” Chris asks, attempting to make eye contact with you. 

“What is there to talk about? Last time I checked you’re allowed to talk to your exes”

“Not when they talk to you like that though. Not when they purposefully try to make you feel like shit” he says. 

“What’s done is done Chris. Can we just go inside and try to have a good night?” You pry, wanting so badly to not dwell on this and have a good time.

“Not until you know that she’s just trying to be a bitch. It was barely even a 2 month fling. I don’t want you thinking badly about yourself just because of some attention seeker” 

“Chris, I said what’s done is done. There’s nothing I can do to make it go away now anyway” 

“You’re right. There’s nothing YOU can do. But I can make sure that you know what you mean to me. And that just so happens to be everything” Chris puts a finger under your chin, glancing in your eyes to make sure you see the full meaning of his words. “I love you so much Y/N. You know that” 

“Yeah I do. But it makes no difference knowing that I’ll never look like she does, or do what she does. I’m just some random person you met at a party” You admit. 

“First of all, what’s wrong with how we met? I love our story! Secondly, do you really think you can’t compare to some talentless wannabe actress? Y/N you’re a fucking genius! I can’t believe you’re being so dumb right now!” Chris exclaims. You get slightly annoyed at that last comment but decide to let him finish before making your rebuttal. “You are genuinely, the most beautiful person I”ve ever met. I mean your hilarious, you’re driven, you’re smart as fuck, and you’re the most genuine person in existence. You’ve honestly got the longest list of amazing qualities I’ve ever seen. Her? All she’s got is her legs and plastic surgery. I love you so fucking much I can’t handle it sometimes”

 You stand there shocked at Chris heartfelt admissions. Unable to speak, Chris senses your hesitancy and moves his hands to the sides of your head, placing a tender and loving kiss on your lips. Still unable to comprehend what he said you just reply with a simple “I love you too Chris, with everything I am”. He gives you the most glowing smile ever and you walk inside with a new found sense of confidence and security. You’ve never experienced this kind of love before, but you were sure it was the most powerful thing in existence. For the rest of the night the 2 of you were attached at the hip. Hearing praises from Chris’ friends about how happy you were and how much of a beautiful couple you made. Now when you scanned the room and found her eyes, there was nothing but an annoyed look in her eyes and a triumphant look in yours. 

[songtoyou]

Tempting Fate - Part Two

Paring: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Nothing major, but there is lots of smoking. 

Word Count: 2,080

Story Summary: Tommy is not a believer in fate or destiny. However, a new resident in Small Heath will question his beliefs and push his boundaries outside his comfort zone.

Chapter Summary: As you continue to live in Small Heath, you develop a strong camaraderie amongst its residents. The only one who continues to give you the cold shoulder is Mr. Tommy Shelby. Polly has a conversation with you and her nephew. She seems to know more than she may be letting on about the connection you and Tommy may have. 

A/N: For this story, Esme uses her maiden name and married name, so she goes by Esme Lee-Shelby. This story takes place during season two of the show. May Carleton is mentioned in this chapter and might be making an appearance in later chapters. I like May; she has never bothered me, and I like her “relationship” with Tommy. I did include a Romani phrase in this chapter, which translates to, “Go with God and in good health.” I found the phrase online and hope it is correct. If it isn’t, then I am profoundly sorry and do not wish to offend anyone. That is never my intent. Remember, there is no Grace or Greta in this fic. They do not exist in the realm of this alternate universe. 

Please do not post any of my fics to other sites without my permission.

Tag List: @owenniasstars​

You settled into Small Heath nicely, even making some friends along the way. Esme Lee-Shelby was one of those friends. When the two of you met, there was an instant connection. Both reminded the other of home, which helped with the homesickness both women tended to feel now and then. Being friends with Esme meant you were around the other Shelby’s, particularly at the family’s company headquarters. You most hung around the betting shop when it was not too busy and when Tommy was not around. You were not naïve to see that the man was not too fond of you for some reason.

Arthur and John would tell you not to pay too much mind to Tommy and explain that he was under a lot of stress.

“Tommy means well, love. He will come around eventually,” John reassured you one day while visiting Esme.

“It is because he likes you, and that probably scares him,” Esme would say, but you merely scoffed at the idea.

“I can admit that Tommy is cute, but he is not my type. He is too frigid. The guy is always so serious. Plus, I can tell he cannot stand the sight of me,” you replied, but Esme waved off your concerns.

“Trust me, Tommy will eventually come around to the point where he will seek out your presence because he will crave it. I have a feeling about it, and I’m never wrong,” assured Esme.

On another day at the betting shop, you stopped by; however, no one was around except for Aunt Polly. At first, the woman intimidated the hell out of you but soon saw the wonderfulness she possessed. She did not take shit from anyone, particularly the men who stopped by the betting shop. She kept everyone in line, including her nephews. You saw how Tommy would confide in Polly on specific business matters whenever the two murmured amongst each other.

“Where is everyone?” you asked, looking around the empty betting shop.

“Slow day,” Polly said, taking a sip of tea and reading a book with her feet up on one of the desks. “John and Esme are currently preoccupied with activities involving the expansion of their family if you know what I mean.”

“Well, that is…wonderful,” you stated sarcastically. “Will you tell Esme I stopped by and that I will see her tonight at The Garrison?”

Before you could leave, Polly called out to you to stay for a little while.

“Come sit with me, let’s talk,” Polly commanded and pointed to a seat for you to take.

You followed her orders and took a seat across from the older woman. She passed you one of her black cigarettes, and you happily accepted. The nicotine of the black cigarette had a pleasant taste to it, you noted.

“So, Tommy informs me that you are part of the Young clan in Cambridgeshire. I’ve met the Youngs; they are good people. Very dependable when one needs help. However, my nephew also shared that you aren’t a Young by blood, is that right?” Polly questioned the other woman.

“That is correct. My mother and father found me when I was a baby, so I am very much a Young,” you replied earnestly.

“Oh, that I can see. Especially in how you have taken it upon yourself to help out most of the Small Heath residents. From menial tasks such as making sure Ms. Wallace gets her weekly groceries, to assisting Old Man Pete and his family in finding their lost dog, and even going so far as to help out at the Yard with Charlie and Curly.”

“I only help with horses. I don’t do any of the moving of equipment or anything if that is what you or Tommy are worried about,” you reassured Polly.

“I wasn’t worried, but of course, Tommy was. You put him on edge,” said Polly with a smirk.

You took another drag of the cigarette, “That is not my fault that your nephew has his qualms about my mere presence in this place. All I am doing is trying to make a living, like everyone else. He has no reasons to doubt my intentions. I am not here to bewitch anyone or partake in any criminal activity that would undermine the Peaky Blinders. I may not have a proper education, but I am not stupid. I don’t have a death wish.”

“No, you don’t have a death wish. You have good intentions that Tommy will see that eventually. He always comes around. Someday, he will come to you because he will need your help,” shared Polly. “I can see things, my dear. I have the gift. I know why you are here. You are looking for your soulmate. Is that correct?”

You let out a sigh, “It is one of the reasons why I am here, yes. I only want to know who this man is; I don’t expect to fall for him. The idea of soulmates doesn’t ring true for me. It is a fabled concept.”

Polly let out a laugh, “Do not be so pessimistic, my girl. You have already met him, but I will let you figure out who it is; that is the fun part.”

As you were about to ask Polly for clarification on what she was talking about, in walked Tommy and stopped when he saw the two of you sitting together.

“Speaking of the devil, here he is, the man of the hour,” teased Polly, at least that is what you thought she was doing. She gave you a wink and put out her cigarette.

“Miss Young,” Tommy stiffly greeted you.

“Mr. Shelby, nice to see you.” While you may tend to put Tommy on edge, he did the same to you, but you were determined to make friends with the man.

When Tommy didn’t reply to your polite phrase, you knew it was your time to leave the premises. “Thank you for the cigarette and the chat, Polly.”

“Any time, dear,” Polly smiled and waved as you exited the betting shop. She saw that you did not say goodbye to Tommy, which she could not blame you.

While Tommy took off his cap and coat, Polly got up from the table and lightly smacked the back of the head. The move completely caught Tommy by surprise as he turned to face his aunt.

“What the hell, Pol!” yelled Tommy, perplexed.

Polly merely shook her head. “Do not have any manners, Thomas?”

“What are you on about?”

With a shake of her head, Polly grabbed her teacup and took a sip. The tea was long since cold. “She is a nice girl, Tommy. Why can’t you see that when everyone else can? What is it about his girl that has you so afraid?”

Lighting his cigarette, Tommy let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Everywhere he turned, he saw you. Not only at The Garrison, Uncle Charlie’s Yard, or the streets of Small Heath, he saw you in his dreams. The dreams where you were present brought him peace. He felt protected, which unnerved him since he was not used to the feeling of being safe, not after France.

“She’s me, Pol,” answered Tommy.

“What do you mean she is you, Tom?”

“Before the war. She was exactly how I was before everything changed,” Tommy replied honestly.

“Well, that should be viewed as a good thing. You two match. Why so cold towards this girl?” Polly asked again.

Tommy turned towards his aunt to bluntly say, “Because if I get close to her, then I will ruin her. I don’t think I could live with myself with that thought. I’m damaged goods, Pol. Nothing can save me. No one can save me.”

“Tommy, that is not true,” remarked Polly. “I still see the good in you.”

Tommy got up and headed towards his office, “Then you are wasting your time.”

Later that night at The Garrison, you were filling up drinks and talking to your regular patrons.

Noting was too out of the ordinary, except for the absence of the Shelby brothers. Typically, they would make an appearance, but not tonight.

“Harry, since it is rather slow tonight, do you mind if I head out early?” you asked.

“Sure, no problem, but do you mind coming in early?” Harry asked, which you agreed to do.

You waved goodbye to Harry and left the premises. You bundled your coat higher to offset the cold air and walked towards Charlie’s Yard. Curly mentioned they were getting a new horse for the races, and you wanted to see it. You loved horses, always have since you were a kid.

As you walked down the street, you saw the Shelby brothers exiting the betting shop.

Arthur called out your name, and you turned around to greet him. He asked where you were headed to and answered the Yard. When all three gave you a look, you told them that you wanted to see the new horse Curly kept boasting on about and, therefore, needed to see for yourself.

“I have to see for myself,” you commented.

Before John and Arthur were about to wave goodbye, Tommy spoke up, “I’ll walk you.”

His announcement took his brothers and you by surprise. “Come again?” you asked. You wanted to make sure you heard him correctly.  

“I said I’d walk you to Charlie’s.”

Before you could as Tommy ‘why’ he told his brothers, he would see them later and motioned for you to follow him. The walk to the Yard was quiet, with neither knowing if they should saying anything. Both opted that awkward quietness was probably the best outcome.

You bit the bullet as the quietness was beginning to drive you mad and spoke up. “Where did you find this horse? Curly mentioned you were going to train him for the races.”

“I got him at an auction, and I won’t be training him. I enlisted someone else to do the training to get him the horse ready for Epsom,” explained Tommy, lighting a cigarette. He offered you one as well, but you declined.

Finally arriving at the Yard, you continued to follow Tommy towards where the horse was residing. When you caught sight of the dapple-gray horse, you immediately picked up your speed to get a better look.

“He is beautiful, Curly,” you professed while rubbing your hand across its muzzle. The horse responded positively to you as it licked your hand. “Does he have a name?”

“No name, as of yet,” it was Tommy who spoke up to answer you. While you continued to pet the horse, Tommy quietly stood next to you. He reached over and began stroking the horse’s mane.

“May Carleton is expecting us to bring the horse for her to train in the coming days ahead, we need to get him ready for transport, Charlie,” declared Tommy while continuing to pet the horse. He then walked over to his uncle as the two men began to talk about how to transport the horse.

“It is a shame this horse has to leave,” you said to Curly, who quickly agreed.

When Charlie called Curly over to him, it left you alone with the horse. As you continued to pet the horse’s muzzle, slowly and softly, you placed your head against his, with no objection. The horse remained calm in your presence.

“Zhan le Devlesa tai sastimasa,” you whispered to the horse.

“Go with God and in good health,” translated Tommy as he stood next to the horse once again. “He’ll be fine, Ms. Young. This horse is going to be taken care of; I will make sure of that, I promise.”

You looked over at Tommy and smiled at him, “Oh, I know, Mr. Shelby. Pyramus knows you will make sure he is in good hands.”

“Pyramus?” Tommy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s his name. Pyramus. It is a mythological name meaning ‘fire.’ It fits him perfectly, don’t you think?”

At that moment, Tommy was taken back by your attentiveness of his horse. He was impressed by how you showed so much care for the creature. He saw how your smile brightened your face and appeared to stir something inside of himself. Something he thought was long gone, his heart.

“Yes, it is. Perfect,” Tommy expressed, but he was no longer talking about the horse.

It was at that moment, where Tommy knew he wanted you.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 3 (Ain’t Easy)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide mentions, health issues, panic/anxiety attack. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Sorry for how short this is. The vaccine’s really killing my body. My head his pounding from how bad my headache is so I only managed to finish the one chapter. Let’s hope tomorrow is better 🤞🏼

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Together Master List

Chapter 3: Ain’t Easy

You stirred awake, having been knocked out from your little outburst for almost a solid day apparently. You realized that you were now laying in Jihoon’s bed, it smelt like him. You could also see the sun beams make their way across the walls. Your apparent mate was sitting in a chair next to you, holding your small hand inside his. You fluttered your eyelids open completely, widening them hesitantly for the day.

“Oh good. You’re awake. I was getting really worried” He sighed, running his free hand through his hair and rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand fondly with the other.

“What- what happened?” You groggily asked, voice hoarse from the lack of use.

You sat up to sit upright and rubbed your eyes to awaken yourself more. You could tell you were in his room. You could smell him all over, that sweet honey smell was intoxicating to you. You could never get enough of it. You could also see you were in a bigger shirt still, though this one was different than the one you were wearing when you were awake before. It had 3/4 sleeves and was a soft cotton feeling that made you want to cuddle into your blankets and pillows to sleep again.

“Well after… everything, you go a little too overwhelmed and passed out.” Jihoon informed you, quickly pushing himself to sit on the bed next to you and rubbed your back sweetly.

You could also tell that you had been changed into a pair of sweatshorts, which you were grateful for. And given the conversation you had before you had probably passed out, there was a fairly good chance either Jihoon changed you or one of the other mates did. Though you highly doubted that Jihoon would let ANYONE else touch your naked body as your mate.

If he had known more about your love life and who you were attracted to, he may have been a little more open to someone other than him changing you. But for all he knew you were attracted to everyone in his pack. So he wasn’t about to risk it. He was a very private person and he figured from what he knew about you, you were too. Not that any of that even really mattered at this point, there was just as good a chance he would’ve refused to let anyone else touch you even if he had known about your sexuality. He could already feel his territorial wolf instincts for you getting stronger. And the more time he spent around you, the worse it got.

“Oh…” you trailed, still trying to come to terms with being suddenly so conscious after having been dreaming for such a long time.

“Does stuff like that happen often to you?” He questioned you, giving you a warm concerned smile.

He couldn’t lie, seeing you passed out made him beyond terrified. He had just confessed to you that he was your mate and then you blacked out. He was worried you’d reject him. But he was just as worried for your own health. You were small, even smaller than him, and you seemed really tired and weak all the time. What if this was something that happened to you a lot? What if he couldn’t help you get better? He didn’t like the idea of you being sick. He didn’t like the thought of having to see you unconscious from fainting. He didn’t like it at all.

“It used to happen a lot when I was younger, and only when I got scared or nervous. My tribe’s healer used to say that I was… missing part of me? Like part of my soul had been missing? Or something like that? I dont know, I don’t really remember. It was a long time ago. The passing out hasn’t happened much since I’ve been on my own though.” You told him, your head abruptly pounding at the mere mention of your health issues causing you to wince in slight pain.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon cautiously putting the back of his hand to your head, eyes full of panic.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. How- how long was I out?” You wondered aloud, turning your eyes to him to get a better look at him.

Truth be told, you were out for a while. Jihoon hadn’t left your bed for nearly three days now. And when he had to for bathroom or showering purposes, he had some of the mates sit with you until he could rush back. He was worried sick about you, Seungcheol had to have Soonyoung practically force feed him so he would eat. He could help it though, he knew that had it been any of his brothers with their mates, they’d have done the same thing. When your mate was sad or sick, you didn’t care about taking care of yourself. You only cared about them and their well being. It was just their natural instinct.

He hesitated for a minute before he spoke, trying his best to come up with words that might sooth you rather than worry you, “Well.. let’s just say You’ve missed a few meals…”

“How many’s a few?” You pushed him to give you a less vague answer.

“Wellllll… we just got done with lunch… so Nine in total give or take” Jihoon earnestly let out, bringing his hand to play with the small locks of your hair.

Upon hearing his answer, you nearly jumped out of the bed nearly three feet in the air. But thankfully, your mate had stopped you from moving your limbs so quickly. He didn’t want you to end up collapsing from the lack of muscle use you’ve had the past few days.

“Nine! Jesus why didn’t anyone try and get me up that’s like three whole days!?!” You almost started to hyperventilate again. Your sight was beginning to turn fuzzy. You felt your heartbeat fasten in your throat. Your mind was buzzing in thought, you couldn’t stop it.

The water on the bedside table started to shake and pull out of the glass while your state worsened. Jihoon quickly picked up on what was happening with you and grabbed you by your face gently to get you to focus on him. He didn’t want you to pass out again, but he also didn’t want you using your powers accidentally from the shock of the whole situation.

“Just breathe (Y/N) you’re gonna pass out again…” he rested his forehead on yours and continued to try and ease your heart rate and calm your anxiety.

“One in… Two out… Three in… Four out… Five in…. That’s it… Just like that.” He cooed at you, rubbing your temples lovingly before sitting you back up straight.

Your breathing finally evened out enough for your vision to return to normal. Once you felt your chest start to slow down, your brain started to cease in thought.

“You sure that doesn’t usually happen?” He joked, still clearly concerned and half serious about your current state.

You shook your head slowly from side to side in response. You were grateful he was there to comfort you, but you still had so many questions running through your head. Your thoughts were going a mile a minute again and you didn’t know what to tackle first or what was most pressing.

“…Jihoon?” You hesitantly spoke to grab his attention. He already loved the way you said his name, it was like listening to a symphony in his head and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Yes (Y/N)?” He responded while holding your small hand in his larger one, enjoying the way it fit in his perfectly. He looked at you with eyes of such love and adoration that you began to feel nervous.

“What are we gonna do?” You looked away from the dazzling man in front of you to instead down at the both of your hands that were laying in your lap. You began to fidget with the tips of his fingers to distract yourself so you could get the burn in your cheeks to die down.

“I- I don’t know. I never thought I’d get a mate, let alone have one show up bleeding at my doorstep. But now you’re… here…” he thought aloud, confusion masking his face the entire time.

He was glad he had found you, but he definitely never even once considered that the universe would bring you to him. He never thought of himself as someone’s boyfriend let alone someone’s mate. He wasn’t sure he would be very good at it, but he knew with you there he had to try. He just needed to figure out how to be one…

You took a moment to think. He was clearly just as lost as you were. But you knew what your heart felt for him, and you knew that being mates meant one of two things.

“Well… do you even want a mate Jihoon? From what everyone says, you don’t like being close to people. And I know I work better alone. So what do you want to do?” You anxiously awaited his response.

You could practically see the gears in his head turning. On one hand, he liked being independent and preferred his solitude. But on the other hand, he knew he would already die for you if he had to choose between himself or you. So, logically, that only left him with one alternative.

“I want us to be together (Y/N). I know it’ll be… a challenge, but I also know that as long as I have you, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.” He finally answered, bringing his hands to cup your cheeks that were still semi-swollen from your long rest.

Tears began to form in your tired eyes, “But… how do you know it’ll all work out? What if we can’t figure out how to cohabitate. We’re both so single alone, what if we can’t be a couple?” You whimpered, eyes full of fear as you looked into his caring ones.

“I won’t lie, it ain’t gonna be easy. But together, we’ll be okay.” He assured you, moving his gaze down to your lips.

He looked back at your face, silently asking for permission. You gave him a small smile and nodded, giving him the go ahead. With that, he leaned down to press his pillowy lips to your relatively chapped ones.

He moved softly, careful not to move too fast or too far so you would stay comfortable the entire time. Kissing him felt like you could actually walk on water if you tried. He made all your worries melt away with such a simple action. It made your heart flutter in a way it never had before.

He soon pulled away from you and leaned his forehead against yours, pecking the top of your button nose gently before a large smile formed on his perfect mouth.

“I suppose you could be right…” you trailed, teasing the small wolf slightly before breaking out in small fits of giggles while you tried to hold yourself back.

“You’re gonna have to get used to that you know.” He chuckled while caressing your jawline and gazing at you like you were a piece of artwork.

“Get used to what? Kissing?” You blushed at the thought, nuzzling your face into his warm hand to hide it.

“No- Me being right.” He declared, pushing his chest out with pride causing you to really burst out in full on laughter.

You could already feel the difficult times ahead of you both, but you also knew you would do whatever it took to stay with him. He made everything around you feel safe and at home. He’s all you ever needed.

(Updated 9/6)

[atopearth]

Brothers Conflict (Passion Pink) Part 4 - Asahina Tsubaki Route

Time for Tsubaki, yay! Aww, it's kinda cute how passionate Subaru and Yusuke are rooting for their respective basketball teams lol. I love how Azusa and Tsubaki invited Ema to their event, and I loved how Ema gave a lot of thought into her answers when they asked her how the event was. It was really cute how she felt proud that they were her brothers when people really liked the event and praised them hahaha. On the other hand, lmao at Tsubaki wanting to jump into her arms every time she said something cute, and lolll at Juli getting annoyed at Tsubaki getting so close to Ema. It was hilarious when Tsubaki told Ema to leave the squirrel behind next time there's an event since it's so noisy😂😂 Aww I love the aquarium date where Tsubaki touches her cheek saying she's cold, and Ema touches his hand to say he's cold too, that's pretty adorable, they even seemed to hold hands for a bit?!🥲 I also really liked how he guided her like a prince/butler to the horse riding part of the zoo haha, it's never boring with Tsubaki and his antics.

Loll at Rui getting heatstroke after building a sandcastle🤣 Wow, Azusa and Tsubaki can drive a boat? Dangg. Aww, I love how they both reassured Ema that they'll definitely protect her (when it started raining and the boat engine "broke down") and held her hand to show their conviction and give her warmth since it was cold. I knewww Tsubaki was lying about the engine! Poor Ema. She was so worried. I'm kinda sad that Tsubaki doesn't get an individual moment on the holiday with Ema though! Tsubaki picking clothes for Ema during a shopping date is the best~ I love how encouraging he is and how he earnestly loves dressing her up and wanting to match with her, it's so cute haha. It's so adorable how happy Tsubaki was to eat Ema's handmade bento, lmao when he kept telling her to feed him loll. Okay, lmao at if Ema stays to watch Tsubaki and Azusa and see them "confess their love" to each other with the roses CG hahahaha. They were pretty into it (for their acting)😂 At least Tsubaki was pretty upfront with her that a guy and a girl in the same room sleeping together would make him think about things hahaha, it's cute how he gave her a kiss on the forehead~ and I guess he gave her one on the lips too when she was "asleep". Wow, he even kissed her in the morning lol! I guess he's really going to try his best to make her realise she likes him too lol. Ohh woww, he kissed her in the bed and then asked to kiss her in other places loll, too bad Ema still wants to just treat him as an older brother even though as Tsubaki said, they've done things that have crossed the line ages ago lol. Anyway, lmao how when Ema can't fall asleep, instead of counting sheep, Tsubaki counts Azusas😂😂😂

I wonder why Tsubaki seems to be worried or sad over Azusa? Anyway, as I said before (in Hikaru's post), I really liked how Tsubaki convinced Ema to go back and talk to her dad (when she found out she was adopted) and told her that she's become someone important to him and not just a "moe" little sister to him, and that these thoughts didn't need actual ties of blood, so her dad should treasure her too regardless of their blood ties. LMAO at Ema shooing Juli out into the hallway because she wanted to concentrate on the game she was playing with Tsubaki and not hear Juli nagging and telling her to study lolol. I see...so Tsubaki feels like he's inferior to Azusa in terms of acting and everything, and it doesn't help that Azusa actually started voice acting stuff later than him and mainly did it because Tsubaki felt like something was missing when he went to classes without Azusa. I guess it's kinda like that with siblings who are "better" than you. You'll always feel a bit jealous, but having them beside you makes you happy so it's a pretty conflicting feeling. Awww, I loved how Ema was really good at the game and the strategies etc, and Tsubaki told her to make him "fall for her" with her strategies hahaha.

I honestly didn't think a depressed Tsubaki would make my heart break so much. It was so sad that Tsubaki was dropped from the audition for the lead of the anime series he always wanted to be in, it was basically his dream...and it wasn't because he lacked anything, it's just that the producers (I think?) decided on Azusa already. I'm glad Ema told him what she thought and how Azusa was really worried too but didn't want to hurt his feelings. Omgg when he asked her to stay overnight because he didn't want to be alone and wanted to be with her🥺 Lmaoo at Ema the pro gamer ordering Natsume, Tsubaki and Azusa around, she's such a leader when it comes to games. I find it hilarious that Natsume even said not many people in his company have played as many hours as her😂 It's so funny how they're all so shocked that her personality changes when she's playing games😂 Lmao at Azusa asking Ema to go with Tsubaki to the shops because he doesn't trust him and basically calls him a kid with an income so he probably can't control himself during Christmas time😂😂 I really liked how Tsubaki thanked her for her encouragement and made him think it's okay to be him, and move forward as his energetic self because everyone loves that part of him I guess? Okay, I did not expect Tsubaki to hold Ema's hands and blow on them to keep them warm because that was super cuteee! Awww and he put her hand in his pocket so she wouldn't be cold!

Honestly, seeing Tsubaki break down over the collapsed Azusa was really heartbreaking. Suzumura Kenichi (Tsubaki's VA) was so good here, because I could really feel Tsubaki's desperation and pain, and how much guilt he felt afterwards (at the hospital when he refused to leave until he saw Azusa) for being "selfish" at being absorbed by his feelings and forgetting that everyone else is worried and scared too. I really loved Ema at the hospital, she convinced and really helped Tsubaki realise that his worried and dejected face would not be what Azusa would like to see, and that he needs to go to the company and tell them about Azusa's condition so they can rearrange his jobs etc. I knew Azusa's condition would lead to Tsubaki being able to finally take on the lead of that robot anime role he always wanted, but yeah I think Tsubaki's complicated feelings about it are understandable. This role is his dream, but he doesn't feel like he earned it, and is merely Azusa's replacement and I think that's a saddening way to achieve your dream. But at the same time, I'm sure Ema and his fans will be able to show him that this isn't pity and underserved, that he's not a replacement and is his own person. And I really liked how Ema did it! She told him she liked Tsubaki's voice, so there was no point copying Azusa, and that even though they may be twins, they are their own person, and that both their voices are different and are wonderful in their own ways and have their respective charms. I think I really liked it when Ema said she wanted to hear HIS voice. I liked how he ended up asking her what else she liked about him aside from his voice hahaha. Awww he gave her a kiss! Omggg he totally went for it and kept giving her kisses! Woww, hahaha, Ema wasn't the most comfortable because she still wants to think of him as a brother and this was in the living room, but she was definitely just embarrassed.

I'm soo happy Tsubaki finally told Azusa about how he always had a inferiority complex towards him but now he’s decided to face himself and understand he has his own qualities. I'm sure that's a relief to Azusa as well since Azusa was also worried and didn't know what he should do. I can't believe Azusa had to stay in the hospital for a whole month though! And he's going to work again the day after?? He's so hard-working. Aww nooo, Azusa actually told Ema he likes her but knows that her heart is with Tsubaki😭 I'm sad that Tsubaki had to say that he found someone more important to him than Azusa because I loveee Azusa and Tsubaki, however I can understand that they are probably way too attached to each other and it's inevitable that they'll find other people they will love. Anyway, I loved how Tsubaki told Ema how much he appreciates her, loves her and wanted her to be his girlfriend~ And I'm glad Ema could finallyyyy accept his feelings hahaha. They're honestly soo cute as a couple and I love how she practises his lines with him but I hope he still practises with Azusa every now and then because I think those are very precious moments they should continue to cherish~ Omggg at him telling her the room was soundproof hahaha. The CG was niceeee. Omgggg at the twins ending? Harem ending? Hahahah. I mean, I definitely wouldn't mind Azusa and Tsubaki...because I love them both too lolll. Ema is so lucky🥺

Overall, I loved Tsubaki's route. Definitely my favourite route right now. It has great romance development with Ema AND I loved his personal struggles with work and his love for Azusa, but also his inferiority complex towards him. I think these were portrayed really well, and I honestly really felt for Tsubaki's emotions and his ups and downs. I really liked seeing the "other side" to Tsubaki where he gets down about stuff, but at the same time acknowledging that the energetic and cheerful Tsubaki is who he is and what everyone loves. I think Ema supported Tsubaki really well in this route and also showed how strong of a person she was too. I thought I would have to resist from loving Azusa too much, but as Tsubaki realised in the end, Tsubaki definitely has his own charms and I totally fell for them. He's loving, sweet and unafraid to show his emotions and his love to Ema and I think there's a great balance of him showing his physical affection towards her as well as the emotional connection he feels for her. I definitely enjoyed every moment of it, every time I think about Tsubaki and everything that happened in this route, my heart just feels so warm and happy haha🥲🥲

[jawritter]

Born Under The Wrong Sign

Part 1

Summary: Dean Winchester, hunter, killer of Gods, demons, and monster, was born as an Omega. It never felt right, and he wants a change of biology. After all, just cause it's what we're assigned, it shouldn't identify who we are...

Pairing: Omega!Dean Winchester x Alpha!Reader

Written For: @spnkinkbingo​

Square field: Omegaverse

Word Count: 1833

Beta’d By: @miss-nerd95​! Thanks again hun!

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics​

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Identity Crisis? ABO Dynamics, smut, unprotected smut, mention of past abusive parents. John’s A+ parenting,  knotting, dirty talk, language, talk of sex change and presentation changes. Some self hate. I think that’s about it.

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written like this one, even for ABO, and even though I’m sure they’re out there I’ve never read one quite like it. So, that being said, I’m pretty nervous about throwing this one out there for you guys! So I really do hope you enjoy it! Feedback is golden! Please do not copy my work! This is part 1, part 2 will drop later this week!!

My Masterlist      My Patreon

Being a hunter was hard, regardless of anyone's presentation. 

Dean had it a bit harder than most. It was bad enough when your father was John fucking Winchester, but if you were also born with the rare presentation of Omega, and you were a male on top of that, well, life was definitely not going to be in your favour. 

Dean had been able to hide his presentation from his father for the most part. He had presented late. He was already 19, and only just an year ago had endured his first heat, which nearly scared him to death because he had thought he was a Beta up until that point. 

Suppressants thankfully helped in keeping his scent from his Alpha father and Sammy was usually at Bobby’s most of the time. It was a lot harder to hide things from his little brother because he was with him 90 percent of the time, and had a knack to call him out when Dean was hiding something. 

Why couldn’t he just be born a Beta? Hell, nothing was better than this, was it.  

Male Omegas were rare, very rare, and usually went unwanted and almost never found a mate. It was almost impossible to find an Alpha female, because they were almost as rare as an Omega male and Dean had never been with a man before. It scared the fuck out of him that one day he might have to do just that in order to survive a heat. Then throwing pups into the equation with the life he lived and a not so supportive father? Fuck… This was bad, and he had to hide it and fight his biology as long as possible. 

The night John found him in heat in a Denver motel room when he was only 22 years old was a night he tried to respress. John had been so...angry. Dean thought he was going to beat him to death; he was so angry. How could the son of John Winchester be a Beta after all? That was unacceptable. 

It took almost a year for his father to look him in the eye again, and he had to work extra hard to prove that he could still follow orders, and could still hunt. It took him even longer to prove that his Omega presentation didn’t make him weaker than the Alphas they hunted with as well, and that he could hold his own. 

Dean was larger than any male Omega they had ever seen, and that was a good thing.  It meant John could hide the fact that his son was an Omega from other hunters. He was also just as strong as any Alpha male, and could carry himself with the same dominating demeanor when he needed too. It was a prodigy of being a child of war really. Cause that’s what this was, wasn’t it? War? 

Years after John’s death, when Dean was around 35, he met you. 

At first, he thought you were another Omega because you were too small and petite for an Alpha. That was until he caught your scent anyway. It threw him into an immediate heat, and he knew you were his. You took a little convincing, but after a while you came around to claiming your Omega. It was the first real knot Dean had ever taken, you made sure to keep his claiming mark low, because an Omega male hunter around other hunters was probably the equivalent of a black spot on a pirate. They would surely stop respecting him, if not kill him. 

For years now, whenever Dean’s heat would come close, the two of you would go and hide away in one of Bobby’s old cabins so that you could take care of your Omega, and he’d be safe during his heat. 

Pups were not an option for a hunter, regardless of whether the Omega was male or female. It just wasn’t wise. Dean was absolutely not for having pups, being knotted was nothing more than a means to an end for him, and he worked extra hard to keep up with all birth control. You even made sure to take it yourself, because being a female Alpha, you still oddly ran the risk of pregnancy, even if it were rare and a lot harder than it was for Dean to get pregnant, with him wanting no slips whatsoever. It was just too dangerous. 

Normally you got through Dean’s heat without much trouble, in fact you enjoyed your time during them with him. It was the only time Dean would ever let his guard down and let you take care of him the way an Alpha should of their Omega. 

This time though, it was different. The fever was a lot higher than usual. Dean was a lot more needy, and this heat was long, longer than his average anyway, and even Dean was getting frustrated. 

As you lay on the bed next to him now, your knot still holding his body in place to your own, and your fingers brushing through his sweat dampened hair, you couldn’t help but notice how sad he looked. Honestly, it killed you. You wanted to make it better for him. 

You’d reverse the roles if you could. You really would. You wouldn’t mind being an Omega, because in truth you hated being a female Alpha. There was no respect there as an Alpha, and it was tiring. 

“You know, people are born the wrong genders. Males can sometimes identify as females and vice versa all the time. Do you think it’s possible to be born with the wrong presentation?” Dean asked, his voice low, as if he was ashamed of even thinking of the question. 

You knew how Dean felt about his presentation, but you never would have guessed he would  ask you that question, and for a moment it stumped you. Slowly, as to not hurt him, you withdrew his length from your body as your knot subsided, not bothering to get dressed because you knew he was going to need you again in less than an hour. 

“Dean, I don’t know,” you told him honestly. “I mean, there’s a lot more than hormones and physical attributes that make up your presentation. It’s not as simple as a few operations and some hormone replacement therapy to change your biology. It’s something that’s part of you on a molecular level. I mean, what people who go through those types of changes is anything but easy, and they are damn brave for doing them, but as far as a presentation? I don’t know babe. That seems almost impossible.”

A high pitched whine escaped from his lips before he nuzzled deeper into your hair, and you couldn’t tell if it was his heat making him uncomfortable again, or if he was just that disappointed. 

“If I ever found a way, would you still love me?” he asked, and you felt as if you had been kicked in the face. How could you not love him? He was a part of you. He was your everything, and if he found a way to change his presentation you wouldn’t love him any less if it made him happier. Hell, you’d love to change yours too! So how could he even ask you that question? What had you done wrong for him to think that?

“Dean,” you coo, coaxing him out of your neck where he was scenting you and forcing him to look at you. 

You could see the Omega beneath was already crawling it’s way back towards the surface, and his cock was already twitching against your thigh, so you rolled him over on his back and start licking and kissing your way down his body until you reach his throbbing length, taking him in your hands and pumping him slowly before giving the tip a few kitten licks; reveling in the groan that fell from his lips. 

“I’d love you no matter what presentation you would be. You know damn well I’d love to change mine if I could. How could I hate you. You’re mine. You were literally created for me, and whether I’m calling you Alpha, Omega or Beta makes no difference to me,” you tell him earnestly before taking his length as deep into your mouth as you could, sucking until he was clawing at the sheets beneigh thim. 

“Fuck Alpha! Please! I need your knot,” Dean whimpered as he keened and arched into your touch as you licked your way up his torso to his lips, giving him a taste of himself as you captured his lips in yours before you sunk down on his ready length; swallowing up his little moans as you did . 

“Gonna take good care of you Omega, and after this heat is over, we will see what we can do about that presentation problem. I promise.”

Dean's groans and grunts turned into a deep moan as you started to ride him earnestly, rising and falling on his cock at a faster pace with each passing minute. You ran your fingers over the pebbled skin of his chest as goose bumps arose with every wave of pleasure that racked through his body. God he was so beautiful, it was almost painful. 

“You like that, baby,” you purred, leaning down long enough to run your tongue over his claiming mark, making him keen and grip your lips bruisingly. “Like the thought of me spread out real pretty for you, begging for your knot.”

“Fuck Alpha,” Dean cried, shuddering underneath you as you slowled your hips to an agonlizingly slowly roll over his, teasing him, and dragging out his release before your knot could lock you together again. 

“Bet you do like that don’t you? Bet you would love to have fucking spread open on your knot, milking you and letting you fill me with your pups; calling me a good little Omega.”

Dean’s orgasm raced through his body as he cried out, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as your knot locked the two of you in place, and your own release made you breathless. 

You helped Dean ride out his high, and when he fully came down, he slid the two of you on your sides so that you could lay there comfortably until you were able to release him. 

“I love you Dean, I always will,” you promised him. “When this is over, I'll do everything in my power to fulfill my promise.”

Dean nuzzled into your hold, and you could feel his body instantly start to cool as his heat finally waned, allowing him to fall into an almost immediate sleep. 

People should be identified by their genders, they should have the right to say when something feels off or different. Why should Dean and yourself be subjected to a biology that you don’t belong to. 

There had to be a way, and you wouldn’t stop until you found it.

Forever Tags: 

@deandreamernp​

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ABO Dean fics:

@akshi8278​

@love-jackles-37-blog​

ABO Forever: 

@lyarr24​

@anaelsbrunette​

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Twenty-Five - Kintsugi

Kintsugi - Kintsugi (金継ぎ, "golden joinery"), also known as kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair"),[1] is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique.

Wikipedia

He woke up in his bed, disoriented, wondering how he had gotten there in the first place. The last thing he remembered was being…

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The memories came all at once, flooding his senses, and he had no choice but to painfully relive every single one of them in his mind: the lawsuit, Mina’s death and funeral, his fight with Andrea, the glass hitting the wall, his panic attack. His wife’s hand, lovingly squeezing his, lighting his way back to sanity.

His son, crying, scared to lose yet another parent, called the paramedics. Victor recalled, in the middle of his mental chaos, being put on an oxygen mask and told to breathe, but the fact that he now had strangers witnessing his meltdown only made him panic more. Eventually, he was given an injection, as Andrea’s coaxing was no longer enough to have him relax. After the paramedics were sent away by her, she took him to bed, but not before helping him change his sweat-drenched clothes. He could remember how helpless he was, his body soft and useless, his eyes too heavy to be kept open. Andrea carefully laying him in bed.

“Stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked outside the bedroom window, it was already dark. He wondered if Andrea had already gone to bed, but he already knew the answer. Just like he refused to sleep before he put the glass back together, she would stay put until she saw all of his pieces back in place, sturdy and strong. No matter how hard her fingers bled.

Victor wondered how many times did a glass have to break to be deemed irreparable. He felt like the glass on his desk, ugly and useless, unable to hold anything. He wondered if she would see that in him, now that he had shown her his weak side. He wondered if she would regret spending the time trying to fix him. He heard the whiskey glass hitting the wall, and saw the frightened look on her face, all over again. He had committed an unforgivable sin. And still, she held his pieces.

Victor jumped off his bed and walked to the kitchen to get some water. Part of him wanted her to be there, he didn’t want to be alone. But at the same time, another part wished she had become wiser and just left him. He couldn’t make her happy, he was too broken. And he was afraid eventually he would break her too. Broken glasses don’t stand in the cupboard like the others. They are disposed of. That’s what he deserved.

But not what he got.

She looked spent, her dark circles standing out on her fair complexion, her curls disheveled and held in an updo with a pencil, some kind of voodoo only Andrea could accomplish. She was focused on her laptop screen, occasionally typing with one hand, the other touching her forehead, like she always did when she felt overwhelmed. She looked like a fragile crystal, the slightest vibration enough to shatter her.

“You’re awake.” She was startled by his presence. “How are you feeling?”

“You’re here.” You shouldn’t be. I’m a waste of your time.

“Of course I am.” She got up, turning to the stove, opening the pot standing there. “It’s late, Owen already had dinner and went to bed, but I have some stew for you. You should eat.”

Owen. Victor recalled again his frightened voice, panicking on the phone. He could only imagine how that small child had spent his day: anxious, scared, traumatized, worried about his father, who was too weak to keep it together. “You just have to make a scene, don’t you?” He heard his father’s voice again.

“How is he?”

“He was scared at first, but I told him you were still processing what happened.” She gave him a faint smile. “He’s really insightful for his age, I think he understood.”

“What about your trip?” You should stay away from me. Both of you will be happier away from me.

“I canceled it. You are unwell, we can go some other time.”

Victor’s stomach turned with self-loathing. Worse than any insult was the thought of someone staying by his side because he was weak, especially if he didn’t deserve the sympathy.

“You should go. I’m fine.” Victor turned to the door, wanting to get away from Andrea as fast as possible. The sight of what he had and what he had lost was simply unbearable.

“I already told you I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Victor.”

The statement felt like a heavy rock falling into a pond, agitating the waters inside him. Victor froze in place, unsure of how to answer. He loved her more than anything, but he didn’t deserve another chance. It was clearly over between them, yet he couldn’t say it. He was a coward. Tears started rolling down his face, as he stood in silence, his back turned to her, keeping his distance, but also selfishly refusing to release her.

For the second time that day, loving hands held the back of his neck, pulling him to a warm embrace, and then all hell broke loose. Tears quickly turned into hysterical sobs, as emotions broke out of him like a tsunami, spilling all over. He leaned against his wife and accepted her reassurance, even though he knew he shouldn’t get it. If only he could have her forgiveness.

“I’m sorry.” He croaked as the retching sobs made his legs wobble, making him kneel on the floor. “I’m so sorry.”

Victor wasn’t sure who he was really apologizing to, there was so much unsaid in his heart. Maybe it was to his mother, for not being the child that she wanted, the one that would make her stay. Or perhaps he was apologizing to Mina, for not honoring like she deserved, for not saying he loved her or holding her hand in her last moments. But mostly, he was apologizing to Andrea. For disappointing her. For not being the kind loving man she believed him to be all along.

All at once, Victor was an adult and a child, and both were crying in Andrea’s arms. A memory of long before came to mind. The smell of polished wood and silver, the echo of the large hallway, suitcases on the floor. His child self, holding his mother, fighting the tears. The words he wouldn’t say to her came, at last, twenty years later, for the love of his life.

“Please don’t leave me.” He sobbed. “Please.”

Her embrace tightened.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Her arms felt like a loving home, where he could be safe. Her voice was so sweet in his ears, her hands so warm in his back, her heartbeat so soothing. So, for the first time in decades, Victor decided to surrender, lay down the sword and simply stop fighting. He held onto her and cried, facing the storm of his emotions, hoping he would come out whole in the end. He just felt so tired. Surrendering seemed to be his only option.

Victor cried enough for a lifetime. All that was inside him, thirty years’ worth of pain erupted in hysterical sobs, landing as salty water on Andrea’s sweater, and he couldn’t stop it. He cried of fear for his kidnapping, of sadness for his mother’s departure, of anguish for her and Mina’s death. He cried for all those times he felt utterly lonely and unloved, for all those times he felt angry for being unable to draw people closer. For all his moments of self-loathing and despair. By the time he was done, he was exhausted. And scared. Scared that if he let her go, he would lose her forever. Afraid that if she stopped holding his broken pieces, he would fall to the ground to never get up.

So Victor simply lingered on Andrea’s embrace, wanting to enjoy a little more of her tenderness, as he knew it would be short-lived.

“We need to talk.” She announced, and Victor promptly left her arms, sitting against the kitchen island, creating the necessary distance. He prepared himself for the worse.

“I’m sorry for the glass.” He blurted out, fearing he would lose his courage if he waited for too long. “I hate that you saw this side of me.”

“What side?” She frowned.

“My ugly side.” His voice tightened. “But I need you to know I could never hurt you that way. I would never do that to you.”

“I know that!” She hurried to answer. “I do, it’s just…” She trailed off with a long sigh.

You can’t live with a violent man. Just say it.

“I pushed you into it. It was a cheap blow to mention your parents.”

Victor turned his eyes to her in surprise.

“I know you didn’t mean it, I-”

“Could you just listen?” She interrupted him.

Victor turned his eyes to the ground, obediently waiting for her to continue.

“I was hurt. And furious. I wanted you to hurt as much as I was, so I used something that you shared with me in our intimacy, knowing fully well how deep it would go, forgetting that you were acting that way because you were hurting too.”

Victor sighed, at a loss for words. How could he hold anything against her? None of them had acted in an honorable way.

“I have an ugly side too.” She muttered.

Silence filled the kitchen again, and Victor stared at Andrea’s hand, wanting to take it. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he feared he wasn’t entitled to anymore, or that more words would just lead to more strife. He was done bruising her, he had done so much of that already.

“Victor… I really want things to be well again.”

The words caught up in his throat. He wanted it too, more than anything. But he wasn’t entitled to ask.

“Look, I know that you have been through a lot, and I can’t possibly imagine what you are feeling right now.” She jumped, kneeling in front of him, her hand taking his, while her eyes gazed at his earnestly. “And I know you are not the kind of guy that goes around talking about feelings, and I don’t need you to… That is something you should do at your own pace.”

Victor’s heartbeat quickened, wondering what she would say next. He desperately needed to make amends, he desperately needed her by his side, he desperately needed her consent in holding her and having her again. At this point, whatever she asked, he would do. He loved his light, and he needed her, like he needed air to breathe.

“But you need to know, no, you need to acknowledge I’m here. Because I am, and I always will be. I need you to know that, even if we disagree, I won’t leave your side. And if you fall, even if you don’t hold on to me, I will hold on to you, do you understand? I’ll never let go of you.”

His fingers caressed hers, so small in comparison.

“The only reason I mentioned that trip was because I felt my presence was hurting you. Victor, for the last few days, all I wanted was to be by your side, to love you and support you. I don’t even care about our fights, or what was said, we should stick together no matter what!” She squeezed his hand tighter. “This is the closest I have been to you in days! I missed you!”

Victor couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled her to his arms and kissed her, with an urgency of someone who had been starving for love for days. When he broke the kiss, he held her tightly, his face buried in the nape of her neck, wanting to have as much from her as he could.

“I missed you too.” He spoke against her skin.

“Are we ok?”

“I want us to be.”

She smiled at him, and that’s when he noticed. While he had been crying, she had been crying too.

“I’m sorry.” He hurried to apologize again, seeing the full effects of his actions on the woman he loved. “I will be better, I will never hurt you like this again. I promise.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” She caressed his bangs. “This is something we both do, you know.”

He watched her shift in place as she seemingly organized her thoughts.

“Do you remember when we came back from Switzerland?”

He remembered, yes. Her being in unbearable pain, pushing him away, while he tried to comfort her. And then it dawned on him. He had done the same.

“You and I are not that different.” She let out a sad chuckle. “We both need to be in control, to always keep our feelings in check, so we bottle them up. But we are a couple now, we are not alone anymore. We should learn to depend on each other. Do you think you can do that? Can you trust me enough for that?”

“I trust you with my life, Andy.” He was an idiot. He let all of his childhood insecurities take so much relevance these days, that he actually forgot the woman he was married to. He didn’t need her to tell him she loved him and she would always be there for him, he knew she was loyal. He knew she loved him. How could he have forgotten that?

“Wait, I have an idea.” She broke free from his arms, taking out her wedding ring.

“What are you doing?” He frowned, confused.

“Give me yours.” She instructed. “Here’s mine.”

Victor removed his wedding ring, handing it to her. She took his left hand and inserted the wedding band halfway through his ring finger.

“We keep talking about renewing our wedding vows, but you know what? We shouldn’t do it when things are easy. We should do it when things are hard.”

Victor watched her take a solemn deep breath before speaking again.

“I, Andrea, renew my commitment to you, Victor. My love for you grows with each day, and I truly believe we can overcome whatever comes our way, as long as we are together.” She lifted her eyes to him. “And I am sorry I hurt you. I love you more than I can possibly say. You are the love of my life.”

Victor smiled as he saw her gently gazing at him with affection in her eyes. And miraculously, all of his shards were put back together again. He took her hand, hoping he would be able to convey what was in his heart.

“I, Victor, renew my commitment to you, Andrea. You are the light of my life. I promise to always keep my eyes on you, and search for you when in need. I have no other place to be, but beside you.” He felt a few tears coming again. “And I am sorry. I’m sorry I ignored you.”

“For better or worse, we are in this together.” She affirmed, her eyes locked on his.

“For better or worse, we are in this together.” He promised with all his heart.

He pulled her to his lap, kissing her lips, their bodies pressed against each other in a warm hug, Victor losing himself in their embrace. Their bodies fit beautifully together. Sometimes they would hold each other so close that Victor could no longer tell where her skin began and his ended, so perfectly united that they truly felt like one.

It reminded him of Kintsugi. Golden leaf and glass shards are useless apart but when united with the patience only real love can bring, they can make beautiful art. It was indeed a fitting analogy. Andrea held his pieces together and made him whole. Patiently, she had picked each one of his shards, unfazed by the cuts they brought, and put them all together.

His wife chuckled against his chest, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world. To hear Andrea laugh once again, while being held by him, was priceless.

“What is it?” He couldn’t help but chuckle as well. Her laughter was contagious.

“The time we spent planning where we would renew our wedding vows, and we ended up doing it on our kitchen floor.” She laughed.

“Well, we did want it to be meaningful.” He smiled, playing with one of her curls. “No place is more meaningful than this. We spent most of our happy moments in this kitchen.”

“Well, if we follow that line of thought, next year we could use the bedroom.” She smiled back.

“I said happy, not lewd.” He poked her nose, making her laugh again. “Any place will do, as long as you are there.”

“I feel the same.” She sighed, motioning to get up. “Maybe we should get up from the floor, you must be hungry and your buttocks must be getting numb.”

“We will in a minute.” He pulled her against him again. “Just a little while longer.”

She leaned against his chest, arms circling his waist, and he held her back, again marveled at how flawlessly they fit. He kissed her neck, lingering on her skin, taking a bit more of her scent. He held her as tight as he could, drinking from her love, letting her gold seep through his cracks.

Author's Note: This project has been going for a year now (it started in February 2020) and it won't be over any time soon, so I would like to ask you, as much as possible, for your support, because we still have a very long way to go. So, if you enjoy the work, don't forget to comment and reblog. It gives it traction and enables other people to learn about it, and for me to get more excited about what I do.

[marvelouspeterparker]

the perfect touch

pairing: tom holland x touchstarved!reader

summary: you’ve never really had an intimate relationship with anyone before, you’ve never really felt close to anyone either—literally. you rarely let people touch you but you secretly crave affection. what happens when you finally find the one person you want to touch you—tom.

warnings: smut (it gets a bit dirty lmao)

word count: 5.2k

notes: this came to me randomly when i was thinking about my crush so it’s a little personal. it’s how i think i would react to the situation, i’m sorry if you hope to relate to it but can’t :( #touchstarvedgang

give me feedback! :)

Tom knew what was going on inside your head—you made sure to tell him that he was your first boyfriend, that he would be the first to touch you, that you were a little scared but wanting. So he made sure to pay attention to you in case you were too nervous to say what you wanted. He had gotten pretty good at reading you.

Sometimes you would scoot just a little closer to him on the couch, you’d rest your hand on your thigh, right next to his, tapping your fingers anxiously against your leg—he’d take notice and smile to himself before taking your hand in his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. The first time he’d done it, you swear you forgot how to breathe for a few seconds.

Once, you were practically falling asleep in the back of your uber, your head was practically falling every five seconds but you were forcing yourself to stay up. You would have loved to rest your head on tom’s shoulder but you didn’t want to be annoying and you of all people could understand that sometimes people didn’t want to be touched. You also feared rejection so that was another issue... what if he said no? So you just resorted to letting your head roll around on the headrest as you tried your best not to pass out.

Tom finally noticed when your head snapped up rather sharply at a red light, the abrupt stop making you jolt. He turned to look at you, confused, but his gaze softened once he realized what you were up to.

“Darling, you can rest your head on me if you’d like.”

You immediately shook your head, “no it’s—“

But he interrupted you, “I’m not gonna let you break your neck trying to stay awake,” he looked at you earnestly, “I don’t mind, I swear.”

You just looked at him as he sat back making himself comfortable, before patting his shoulder, “Come on then,” he smiled.

You moved hesitantly and put your head on his shoulder and were a little disappointed when it wasn’t as comfortable as you’d hoped it would be. You tried to move around a bit a couple times but suddenly became very aware of the fact that moving around so much could be very annoying so you stayed in an uncomfortable position, your neck straining as you tried not to put your full weight on him.

He noticed that your body was tense, your posture stiff––so he nudged you a bit. Thinking he wanted you off of him, you got ready to lean against the window when he put a hand on your thigh, asking you to look at him. It took you a second to actually hear what he was saying since you could feel your skin burning under where he was touching.

“No wait, I just-thought you would be more comfortable like this” he said before opening his arm for you to tuck yourself into his chest, giving you a soft smile.

You replied a barely audible “oh” before moving into position again. Now this was way more comfortable—his arm wrapped around you and his hand subconsciously started rubbing up and down your arm, practically lulling you to sleep.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly. 

You nodded in response, leaning further into him. Though his exterior was calm and collected, you could feel his heart beating rather fast and you couldn’t help but smile. Tom was very aware of the fact that you could feel and hear his heartbeat, and he may or may not have suggested you move for you to be able to do so. Soon enough, the constant beat was putting you to sleep.

When you woke up something felt different. Your eyes were still closed but you could feel that something had changed. Before you could process anything you felt Tom’s lips press a gentle kiss to your forehead, “we’re almost there, darling.”

You hummed and opened your eyes to look up at him, noticing an almost knowing smile on his face. You were about to reply when you realized you were literally in his lap, your legs over his, his arms caging you protectively. Your eyes widened and you were about to get off of him when his arms tightened, “No, stay.” He held you closer, pressing his cheek to your forehead, “You feel nice.”

Instead of disagreeing, you settled back into your previous position. “How did I even manage to get on top of you?” you mumbled against his shirt.

“You kept shuffling around and putting one of your legs over mine, so I just moved you completely to save you the trouble.”

You cringed at the thought of your restless movements annoying him before he continued, “Was really cute, honestly.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you tucked your head further into his chest so he wouldn’t see you smile, but you were almost certain that he felt it.

                                                          ––––

As your relationship progressed, you could feel yourself getting more comfortable with Tom. Being with him felt like a dream, and sometimes you couldn’t believe he was real, that he was really with you––but he knew just how to assure you that he was here and that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

You felt his lips glide over your chest, just above the neck line of your shirt—you could have sworn your heart was going to beat out of your chest and the thought that Tom could hear and feel your elevating heart race made it beat even faster.

He looked up at you, his hands caressing your waist, “S’this okay, love?” he asked, a smirk on his face—he knew damn well you were enjoying yourself.

You nodded, licking your lips since suddenly your throat felt dryer than ever. “Really okay” you whispered, your voice raspy. You saw him swallow visibly at the sound of your voice and knowing that you could have that effect on him, boosted your ego just a little.

His hands squeezed your waist slightly and the feeling of his fingertips grasping you had you gasping and squirming in his lap. He bit his lip as he dragged his gaze up and down your body before leaning in again. Instead of just leaving pecks here and there, you sucked in a breath when you felt his tongue swipe across your collarbone. Your eyes rolled back to your head when he bit down softly and you could feel him smile against you.

One of his hands slid up your body, tracing every curve on its path before holding the side of your neck and you physically shivered at his touch. You almost felt embarrassed by your reactions but all that was pushed aside when you felt and heard him groan against you and you felt his bulge growing underneath you. 

His lips made their way back up to your neck, kissing and biting at every spot until he found the one that made your back arch into his touch. The movement made you rut against him and you couldn’t help but moan out loud. Shocked at how loud you were, you bit your lip but Tom was quick to pull away, his thumb tracing your lips, “Ah ah, I wanna hear you.” You released your lip and he pressed a chaste kiss to it before turning his attention back to your neck. 

“That felt nice, didn’t it?” You hummed an agreement and you felt him smile against your neck. “Why don’t you keep moving your hips like that, then? Wanna make you feel good.”

You were hesitant to do as he said, afraid that the action would make you seem a little desperate, almost like a dog humping something, you thought. But once you started and Tom began moving along with you, the pleasure clouded your doubts.

He growled into your neck and you swear you just about pooled in your underwear, “Just like that, love. Doing so good for me––fuck.”

Aaand yup––definitely have a praise kink, you thought to yourself. 

You felt yourself get closer and closer with every movement, every push and pull from Tom’s eager hands guiding you on top of him. Your movements became unsteady as you neared your high and Tom soon took full control of your hips, whispering sweet nothings to you, coaxing you to release. 

“Come on princess, let go for me.” He pulled back to look at you after leaving a small kiss on your jaw. “Look so pretty for me, riding my thigh like this.”

You let out a small whimper at his words, you felt like you were on fire.

“Come for me, love.” 

Your breath hitched and your body tensed on top of him, your hands gripping at his shoulders and he smiled at you, completely in awe of how incredible you looked. You collapsed onto his chest and his arms were quick to find their way around you. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Did so good for me, darling.”

Your heart fluttered at his words––at him. He always knew what to do, what to say. 

He wasn’t going to go any further until you explicitly told him you were ready, he was respectful and you couldn’t be more grateful that you found someone as sweet as him. That most definitely deserves a reward, you thought. You were tired of seeing him go to the bathroom to take care of himself after every time you guys did something––or more importantly he did something for you. You felt a little guilty, even though he told assured you it was no problem and he’d do it for as long as he needed to until you were ready. 

Before he could run off to the bathroom, you quickly got down on your knees in front of him, putting your hands on both of his thighs as you looked up at him with those innocent eyes of yours and you could have sworn you heard him swallow at the sight of you. 

“W--What are you doing?”

You licked your lips, “I wanna help you.”

He brought a hand to your cheek, his thumb softly caressing your skin and you turned your head to kiss his palm before nuzzling further into his touch. “It’s my turn to make you feel good.” 

He looked at you earnestly, “You know you don’t have to, right?”

You nodded, “I know,” you smiled, “I really want to, though.” You looked between his eyes and his bulge, biting your lip, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

You looked up at him again once you heard him curse. “Well, how can I say no to my girl?” He pulled down his sweats, then his underwear and you hate to admit it but your mouth may have watered. 

He bit his lip as he looked down at you on your knees in front of him, it was an even prettier sight than he had imagined––and trust me he thought about it a lot. He stroked his cock and you licked your lips. “D’you want me to sit or stand, love?” 

“Um,” you cleared your throat, “whichever is––more comfortable for you.” 

He smiled, taking his seat again. It seemed he was a bit nervous too. He just wanted to make this as enjoyable and comfortable for you as well. 

Once he was situated, you took a deep breath and moved closer. “Okay––I just––I might need you to teach me a bit, yeah?” You looked up at him and he tried his best to control his breathing. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He tried his best to make it seem as though he was totally composed and in control but on the inside he was freaking out, perhaps even more than you. You drove him crazy with just the looks you gave him and the sounds you made...Now that you were actually going to touch him? He was almost certain he’d immediately combust. 

You grabbed him at his base and he hissed at the feeling. You paused, eyes wide as you gauged his reaction. 

“Sorry, just felt good, that’s all––promise,” he chuckled nervously.

You nodded slowly and shifted your attention back to the task at hand. You noticed the precum pooling at his tip and swirled your thumb around it, spreading it around to make your movements smoother. You guessed it was the right move as Tom’s breathing became heavier from it. 

You swirled your hand around until his whole member was slick and he cursed under his breath. “Just like that––don’t even need my help you’re doing so good.” 

He tried his best to keep his eyes open but with how good you were making him feel, he couldn’t help but let his eyes flutter shut. But once he felt your tongue swirl around his tip, his eyes blew wide open, ”Holy shit––”

It was your plan the whole time to get your mouth on him, but from his reaction, it seemed that he wasn’t expecting it. You immediately popped off of him, “Oh! I’m sorry I––”

“No no,” he cut you off, leaning forward to kiss you. “I’m sorry love, I just wasn’t expecting that. But um you can, continue,” he laughed, sitting back. 

You put your mouth around him, swirling your tongue since you’d heard it felt good (and apparently that was true based on Tom’s reaction) and began to bob your head slowly. Meanwhile, Tom’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, as his hands came up to rest on your head––not to guide your movements but just to feel you. 

You started to suck as your movements sped up and that’s when Tom almost lost his mind. His hips were straining not to buck into your mouth––the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. 

You focused on your breathing and closed your eyes, putting all your effort in to pleasing him. He’d been the perfect boyfriend so far and you finally gathered the courage to actually do something for him. It had to be perfect. 

You peeked at him for a moment as you reached a hand up grasp his balls, and you could see it practically sucked a breath of air from him. Soon enough, he was reaching his high. 

“Oh god––I’m gonna cum darling.” He tried to move back so he could finish elsewhere but you put a hand on his thigh to stop him and his eyes widened. 

“Love I––” 

You pulled off of him causing an obscene wet noise but you were too focused on him to be embarrassed. You wiped your hand with the back of your mouth and looked up at him and though the action was sloppy and careless, it made him throb, “I want you to cum in my mouth,” you stated simply before diving back in, your hand pumping the rest of his length that your mouth couldn’t reach. And within seconds, before he could even react, he was shooting his load, muscles tensing as a broken cry escaped his lips. 

“F––Fuck darling.”

You pumped him through his high smiled up at him, feeling proud. Once he realized that you swallowed, he chuckled in disbelief, “How did I manage to get the most perfect girl in the world?” 

“I’m the one who got the most perfect boy.” You smiled, rolling your eyes and got into the bed as he pulled up his underwear and his sweats. He turned off the lights and made his way over to his side of the bed. He lied on his back and wrapped his arm around you and you settled in comfortably, feeling satisfied with the job you’d done. 

He kissed your forehead as you both settled in to sleep. “When you’re ready, I’m gonna return the favor––and I swear I’ll eat you for hours if you’ll let me.” 

You closed your eyes and nuzzled into his chest, the biggest smile on your face as you tried your best to calm your heartbeat–-the one in your chest...and the one between your legs.

                                                       –––––––

You had been thinking about it since before you started dating Tom––not that you were obsessed with sex or anything but you had always wondered what it would be like your first time, if it would feel good––a whole bunch of stuff, really. 

But more recently you had been thinking about it with Tom––you were ready to take that step with him, you were just hoping that your nerves would have calmed down by now. 

Here you were, Tom hovering over you and you couldn’t even focus on the pleasure––you were too busy being stuck in your own head, trapped by your own thoughts. Your boyfriend was shirtless on top of you and your anxiety couldn’t even wait for one moment and just let you have this–– 

Tom, always picking up on your signals, immediately pulled away from you, leaving the mark he was working on to slowly fade away. He looked into your eyes, “What’s wrong?” He moved so that he was sitting up beside you. “You’re not fully here with me, what’s up?”

You sat up, clasping your hands together in your lap. “I just––you know that I’ve never...done anything with anyone,” you paused to look at him, continuing after he gave you a small encouraging smile, his hand resting on your thigh reassuringly, not moving as he didn’t want to make you more nervous and he knew how much his touch gave you butterflies. “I guess I’m a little scared that you won’t like what you see? Or that...I don’t know––this is just a little overwhelming.” 

“Well darling, I am one hundred percent certain that I will find you absolutely breathtaking as soon as you take your clothes off, given the fact that you take my breath away fully clothed, already.” He chuckled before looking at you seriously and sincerely, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to today. You know that, right?”

You perked up immediately, “No no, Tom I’m sure that I want to do this with you,” you leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips. “I really do...”

You took a deep breath and stood up before peeling your sweats off. You heard Tom’s breathing slow down as you stepped out of them. You looked up at him and saw that his eyes were glued to your thighs, his lips parted. You started dating in the fall, and it was still winter, so he hadn’t even seen you in shorts yet. 

You bit your lip before and peeled your shirt off, leaving you in just your bra and panties. Seeming to snap himself out of his trance, Tom stood up as well. 

“Seems only fair,” he smiled, pulling his sweats down. He stepped close to you and you looked up at him, feeling goosebumps rise on your skin. “Can I?” He asked, gesturing to your undergarments. 

You nodded, swallowing thickly before turning around. You could feel his breath fanning your neck and jolted slightly when you felt him press a wet kiss to your neck. His hands came up to your waist, his fingers caressing you softly before reaching up and unclasping your bra. He pushed the straps down your arms and you gasped slightly as the cold air hit you, your nipples hardening immediately. 

You heard and felt his breath hitch behind you. His hands came up around you, feeling and squeezing your breasts, “You’re gorgeous.”

You turned around and leaned up to kiss him, his hands found their place on your ass and you moaned breathlessly into his lips. He broke the kiss reluctantly and got down on his knees in front of you. He looked up at you, leaving kisses on your stomach and you stopped breathing for a minute––he just looked so enticing, so lustful for you. 

His hands caressed your thighs, moving up slowly before reaching the waistline of your panties. Carefully, not moving his eyes from yours, he slid them down your legs, leaving soft kisses as you stepped out of them. He quickly stood up and rid himself of his own underwear before leaning in to kiss you again. 

“Let’s get on the bed, yeah?” You nodded into the kiss and moved backward until you hit the bed. You dropped down onto it and moved into the middle, Tom hovered on top of you, resuming his position from the start. 

He looked into your eyes, his hand gently holding your cheek “You ready, baby?”

You nuzzled into his touch and nodded, “Yes, promise.”

He muttered a soft okay before kissing you on the lips again, then began trailing his lips down your body ever so softly. He kissed between your breasts, while grasping them both in his hands. Your back arched at his touch and you felt him smile into your chest. 

His lips trailed down even further, until he reached under your belly button. He looked up at you and spread your legs, before finally looking down. “Can I finally taste you, sweetheart? Is that okay with you? You just look so beautiful I’m dying to get a taste.”

You nodded, and he smiled up at you. He kissed your thigh, making sure to keep eye contact with you. All you could focus on was each other––the whole world drowned out around the both of you. He slowly, teasingly made his way up to your inner thigh, then skipping his way over to the other thigh, still looking at you while doing so. 

He nipped your skin softly and you gasped at the feeling. You reached your hands down and placed them on his own, and he clasped your hands together before holding your waist down with his arms. He leaned in and licked along your slit. You weren’t sure what to expect, but with all the teasing and build up, just the slightest touch felt great. 

He curved his tongue up and down along your folds, soon leaving open mouthed kisses on your lips. You sighed contently and he hummed into your heat, only adding to your pleasure. 

Tom had picked up on your reaction to his praise, so he made sure to use it to his advantage, to make this as enjoyable for you as can be. 

“Y’taste so fucking good baby,” he mumbled in between his kisses and licks. You whimpered, your back arching, hips straining under his hold. “Meant it when I said I would taste you for hours. But I know you have other plans for today, so I’ll leave that for some other day.” 

He slid a finger into you and you let out a sound you couldn’t even describe if you wanted to, all you know is that it caused Tom to quicken his pace and tighten his hold on you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head but a squeeze of your hand brought your attention to the boy between your legs. “Eyes on me, love.” You nodded enthusiastically and he smirked at your increased eagerness. 

He started paying extra attention to your clit, lapping at it before sucking it harshly, and sliding another finger into your heat. He curved them at just the right spot and soon enough you felt yourself reaching your peak. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth dropped open and your thighs tightened around Tom’s head. 

When you came to and finally opened your eyes, Tom was leaving kisses around your heat, his hands no longer in yours but caressing all the skin he could touch.

“Such a good girl for me.” 

You moaned involuntarily and he chuckled at your reaction, his hands still rubbing your skin soothingly as you were still slightly shaking from your orgasm.

“How was that princess?” He smirked, knowing damn well it was mind-blowing.

You rolled your eyes, unable to wipe the smile off of your face, “Get up here and kiss me, Holland.” 

He was quick to scramble up and meet your lips with his and your hand found it’s place in his curls. You easily got lost in each other, and you could taste yourself on his lips and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on even more. 

Just as Tom slipped his tongue into your mouth, one of his hands slipped down to find your clit. You whined into the kiss, still a bit sensitive from your high. 

He pulled away to look at you, biting his lip. “Just one more, love.” He pressed his head against yours as you panted at the feeling of his fingers expertly handling your bundle of nerves. “Need at least one more to make sure you’re ready for my cock.”

You audibly groaned at his words and he slid his two fingers back in you, twisting them and curling them just right before adding another finger and stretching you open. 

Once his thumb reached up to rub at your clit––you were seeing stars. Your hand dropped down, your body going limp. Tom kissed your cheeks softly, coaxing you down. 

Once you opened your eyes again, Tom asked, “are you still up for more?”

You couldn’t have nodded more eagerly. 

He positioned himself between your legs and you noticed his throbbing member standing tall. You could tell he actually enjoyed pleasuring you––How could he get any more perfect? 

He stroked his member a few times, cursing under his breath and dropping his head back after finally paying attention to his neglected member––not that he was complaining. You swear your mouth practically watered at the sight. When he regained his composure, he looked at you, checking if you were still alright then down to your center. 

He swiped his member through your folds and hissed, “Holy shit you’re so wet, love.” He licked his lips, rubbing your clit with his tip, making you arch your back. “Gonna be so warm and tight for me.” His thumb was rubbing circles on your inner thigh, trying to calm any nerves you might have.

He rubbed your wetness all around your pussy, on your clit––the slightest touch had you jolting. But you needed more. 

“Tommy,” he perked up at the new nickname. To be honest, you had been saving it for when the two of you were intimate––you felt that it was too personal to be said otherwise. “I need more, baby. Need you.”

His eyes widened and his heart rate quickened, “Of course, darling.” He pressed his tip into your entrance and your breath hitched. “Breathe for me, love. Need you to relax.” 

You nodded and tried to even out your breathing, sink into the sheets so you could be ready for him. He slowly pushed his way in a little further, waiting for you to let him know when he could move. 

You felt like it was taking you forever to adjust, was it annoying or frustrating for him? It was for you, that’s for sure. After beating yourself up in your head for a moment you spoke up, “I’m sorry this is taking so long, Tom. I––I don’t know what to do...”

His brows furrowed, “Hey hey, no no no, this isn’t something you have to be sorry for, this is completely natural, love.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, careful not to move down there. “I will wait as long as you need, I promise.”

You smiled, but he could tell you were still worried. He brought his thumb to your clit and started rubbing it slowly, spreading your wetness and you felt yourself start to melt in the sheets. He leaned forward, resting his weight on one hand near your head, while the other held his member. 

He left wet kisses on your neck, leaving marks where he could reach. “Feel so good for me already, you know that? You’re so snug and tight, s’like your pussy was made for my cock.” He looked into your eyes “You’re mine.”

Your walls clenched around him and he almost choked on his breath. Your hands grasped his shoulders, and your legs wrapped around his waist, pushing him further inside you. “God love––you’ll be the death of me I swear.” 

You were almost there, almost completely filled and you were so eager to get there. Tom could tell you were yearning for it. He looked at you before leaning down to swirl his tongue around your nipple before sucking on it and you groaned loudly. “Fuck Tommy––”

“That’s what I like to hear, baby,” he switched to your other breast, making sure to pay equal attention to both. From the stimulation on your nipples and your clit, you loosened up a bit more and pulled Tom in all the way. He popped off of your chest to look at you, mouth hung open in shock. He caught his breath after a moment, “Feels so good––”

It took you a few more minutes, but soon you were ready for him to move. And once he did, you felt better than you thought you would. “Please don’t stop, Tommy.” You whispered in his ear and he growled and dropped his head into the crook your neck where he began leaving wet kisses as he thrusted faster. 

“This pussy feels like heaven, I swear,” he muttered half to himself. 

Between the feeling of his lips, his hand and his cock––you felt yourself get close rather quickly, in your opinion. “I’m gonna come, baby.” You looked up at him as he pulled away from your neck to look down at you. He leaned his forehead against yours, the both of you panting at the overwhelming feeling of pleasure. 

“Yeah, darling?” You nodded helplessly. “I’m close too––as soon as I pushed myself in that tight little pussy of yours it was practically coaxing me to the edge. 

He started pounding you faster, constantly checking to see if you were okay with the pace and the feeling. Your eyes rolled back and your back arched for who knows what time that night. “Oh my god Tom––”

“That’s it babygirl––fuck.” 

He was about to pull out when you held him in place, “I’m on the pill, Tommy.” He looked into your eyes, trying to figure out if you were really telling him what he was thinking or if he was just clouded by the pleasure you were giving him. “You can come inside me, baby. I want you to. ”

He came almost instantly, if it wasn’t obvious that you found it incredibly hot, he would have found it almost pathetic. A couple more thrusts and he emptied himself out inside of you. You sighed contently and bit your lip, trying to contain your beaming smile as you looked up at him and the fucked out look on his face––beyond happy that you were the reason that it was there. 

“You, my love, are the best thing that’s ever and will ever happen to me.” You felt your eyes tear up a bit at his confession but before you could say anything––not that you even know what you could have said, he pulled out of you and watched the cum drip out of your hole before taking his cock and thrusting it back into you, “Don’t want it to slip out just yet. Y’look so pretty full of my come, you know that?” He nuzzled his nose into your cheek. 

You swear only Tom could make a moment both incredibly dirty yet touching. He was yours. Your perfect boy. 

––––––––––––––

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[agmapansa3008]

Seeing Phupha open and relaxed like this was warming Tian’s heart. Contrary to his teasing, he knew that the Chief could have fun, could smile, could be easy going. But tipsy Phupha was something else. When he told Tian that he was feeling lonely, something tightened in his stomach and he placed his hand on Phupha’s knee. Leaning a bit closer, his smile returned: “I’m here. I’m here to keep you company.”

His heart skipped a beat when the Chief closed his own fingers around Tian’s hand. It squeezed painfully when Phupha earnestly told him that he didn’t just want a friend.

“You are drunk,” he said, with an amused smile, feeling off-kilter and… a bit hopeful.

Phupha kept his eyes fixed on Tian, tightening his hold. “Drunk people don’t lie.” A statement. A simple fact.

A confession?

Tian smiled down at their hands, heart fluttery and anxious. Happy. “Really?”

“Tian.” Phupha leaned closer, body pliant and warm against Tian, even through the added layer of the jacket. “There are times where a thought crosses my mind.” He couldn’t look away as the Chief opened up to him. They’ve been building up to this, he thought hazily. Was this really it? What all the teasing - flirting? - had been leading up to? Was he even ready? “The closer I get to you, the more I think of something that is impossible.” He couldn’t stop smiling. His hand felt warm in Phupha’s, his chest warm in the moment. He couldn’t quite- ”Sometimes you remind me of Torfun so much.”

The sound around Tian screeched to a halt. The heart that had happily raced just a moment ago, slowed to a painful reminder of everything that had happened. Tian’s smile slipped right off. He had worried about this exact thing. Had worried that his own feelings were not his own. Had worried that… that Phupha wasn’t really looking at him.

He knew that his own feelings were real, had known ever since he had his talk with Tul.

He loved the Chief.

Tian was in love with him. Just Tian, not Torfun.

The sound rushed back into his head when Phupha called his name, still so gentle. He had no idea that he had just broken Tian’s heart right in two. No idea, the damage his words had caused. Tian tried to smile again but didn’t quite manage to hold it up. He did listen, though and when Phupha asked him if Tian had something that he needed to tell him, he made up his mind, his mouth dry. “There is something I want to tell you, Chief.”

But he hesitated, his throat closing up as he struggled to form the words. How was he supposed to tell Phupha the truth? What would he do if the man started to hate him? He was scared. The Chief was staring at him with such intense eyes and he didn’t know where to start. Usually, Phupha’s presence meant safety, if exasperation. Now he felt like a mouse staring straight at a very hungry cat.

“What do you need to tell me?” Phupha’s question sounded serious, sounded important. But slowly, something in his eyes changed, turned teasing and sly, just like when they were bantering. “Are you going to confess your love to me?” He asked with humour in his voice and Tian’s heart cracked into more little pieces.

He had to blink a few times, the air rushing out of him in a quiet huff. His lips quirked into a smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace.

A joke.

It hurt.

But then the Chief was moving closer, his eyes dark and hooded and full of intent. Tian didn’t really know what to think anymore, his mind a jumbled mess of hope and hurt and heartbreak. Was Phupha going to kiss him?

Did he want to kiss Tian? Or Torfun? Was he drunk enough to confuse them? He had called Torfun a sister but had told Tian that he didn’t just want a casual friend in the same moment that he told him that they seemed to be the same person.

What was he supposed to do?

Everything felt wrong.

When Phupha’s head collided with his shoulder, his hand reached up to cup his neck on its own accord. “Chief. Are you alright?” But the man was out cold, heaving gentle breaths against Tian’s chest. Sighing, he kneaded his fingers into the Chief’s neck and willed his body to stop shaking. His heart to stop racing painfully against his chest.

He had to tell him.

He had to tell everyone.

And then would have to leave.

Maybe that was for the best.

It felt like a lie, even in his own head.

Tian closed his eyes.