#I love him. A normal amount. Yes. Totally. 100%

[arthur-lesters-hippocampus]

How tf is my favorite character a man we've never met ever and only heard about from arthur

[jazziejax]

𝐀𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

𝐌𝐬.𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥

Pairings- Black!OC x Abbott Elementary Cast, later Black!OC x Manny (Can be read as x Reader though!)

Summary- S1E1-Light Bulb with Naoya Lovel

Warnings- Swearing, kids, mixed race reader( those aren't warnings really, just what to expect)

Jazzie'sNotes!- let me know what you guys think!! I've been really obsessed with Abbott Elementary recently and I'm contemplating if I want to write S1&S2 just to get to the Manny season. I want to get there fast but I know what won't be possible with two seasons worth of writing. Let me know what you guys think I should do.

Word Count- 5,680

“Ten seconds!” Jacob yelled over his shoulder at the people in the room. Melissa and Barbra rushed over to the sitting area in front of the television that played the action news. Naoya sitting the opposite of them on the small couch.

“Oh, we love Action News! Get in early just to watch it.” Melissa said to the cameras. “It just really calms you down after wanting to take a wrench to someone's side mirror in traffic.” She beamed as if what she said was totally normal.

“But the Philadelphia region continues to suffer, temperature in the mid-90s with a heat index approaching 100…” The television said as they all sat and watched.

“Now I’m a proud married Christian woman and I love my husband. But there’s something about that Jim Gardner.” Barba gushed to the cameras. “That non-regional diction.” The woman was practically blushing just at the thought of the man.

“It is so important to support and acknowledge local journalism, okay?” Jacob started. “There’s no agenda here. This is—This is one going, in the streets, powerful stuff.” He explained seriously.

“I get in early just to see my aunt Magnolia on the screen. She’s a news anchor and I like telling her what I like and dislike about her outfits every morning.” Naoya nodded nonchalantly.

“Wouldn’t want to see that dog in traffic.” Jim Fardner said as they all laughed while watching a little Pomeranian dog drive a toy car.

“Yes, Jim.” Barbra agreed, not seeing the confused look Noaya gave her from the side.

“I like the news because that’s when I can say whatever I want and nobody asks any questions.” Mr.Johnson told the cameras with a smirk.

“I’m taking a personal day.” The old man said as he entered the room, looking at the backs of everyone’s heads as they continued to watch the morning news. “Going fishing with my friends. Anyways, toilet papers in the closet.” He said before walking out.

“I hear him.” Naoya nodded, giving the people behind the camera a small smile. “I hear everything. Plus he is a hilarious old man and I wanna know all his secrets. I am this close to cracking him.” She said with an evil smirk making its way into her face as she lined her fingers together to indicate a small amount.

“I saw Jim Gardner once. At the Chipotle.” Barbra smiled bashfully, not taking her eyes away from the television. “Ooh, he orders a bowl so handsomely.” She gushed. Naoya gave the older woman another look, this time more concern than confusion.

It was only a moment later that Jacob was going through the break room fridge, poking around for something. “Who’s branzino is this?” He asked, holding the fish dish in his hands. “This is a very powerfully smelling fish to put in a shared fridge.” The boy complained as politely as he could, closing the ice box with a disgusted look on his face.

“Don’t touch it,” Melissa said looking up from her phone. “I’m making it right at my cousin Annette’s.” She made her way over to have a seat in her usual spot next to Barb. “She thinks she’s the best cook in the family. I’m gonna show her in a non-threatening way. Imma look cuter than her too.” She smirked.

“I have a distant cousin named Annette,” Naoya said, finishing up the delicious breakfast sandwich that she had every morning. “She was psychotic though, used to put poison in the condiments at restaurants.” The younger woman stated, looking off in thought as the rest stared at her in disbelief. “I haven’t seen her in ages. Don’t want to either, she was butt ugly.” She then took a sip of her orange juice.

Just as she finished, Janine walked into the room, putting her bag down on the table in front of Melissa and Barbra. “Guys, the lights in the back hallways have been out for weeks.”

“Thank you for the update,” Melissa said as she applied more makeup.

“What are you wearing?” Barbra asked, looking her up and down.

“And we need to do something about it. Okay?” The short woman tried to sound demanding but it didn’t come off that way. “Uh, Melina, from your class.” She started, pointing at Melissa. “Yeah, she was afraid to come to school this morning. Said it looked like “The Shining.” And I don’t even get how she knows that reference.”

“She loves “The Shining,” Melissa stated.

“It’s a classic movie.” Jacob chimed in.

The camera panes Naoya’s way, who looks at them at their movements. ‘Never seen it.’ She mouthed with a shrug of her shoulders.

“This isn’t okay, alright?” Janine stressed. “And I already talked to Mr.Johnson and he said that there isn’t anything he can do.

“What do you want us to do about it?” Barbra asked the girl tiredly.

“I mean, it can’t be hard. It’s just screwing in a few new bulbs.” The small woman stated.

“Janine, just worry about what can be controlled.” Barbra cut her off.

“Exactly.” Melissa agreed. “All we can do on a hot day like this is our own jobs, anyway.”

“I know what’s right,” Ava said as she barged into the room and made her way over to the coffee machine. “Why is it February and hotter than the devil’s booty hole outside?” She asked.

“Climate Change.” Jacob and Naoya said at the same time, causing them to point at one another in recognition while Ava shot both of them a tired look. “We are living in the middle of its disastrous effects. The permafrost in Russia—” He was about to rant before Ava cut him off.

“Nerd.” The woman said between coughs, which sounded more like a laugh. Naoya rolled her eyes while Jacob just turned back to what he was doing.

“Ava.” Janine started, walking up to the woman who was still laughing from her childish joke. “Can someone from the city come and check on the back hallway lights?”

“Girl, no.” The woman answered, her usual judgmental look on her face. “Do I look like the Kool-Aid man?” She asked, halving around the room. Her eyes stopped on Naoya, who raised her eyebrows in question. “Don’t answer that.” She pointed at the woman, who just shrugged it off. “I don’t have enough juice to manipulate the inner workings of city hall.” The principal continued, looking back at Janine and scoffing before making her way out. “They’ll probably come in the summer.” She said as the bell rang.

“I’m the summer?” Janine asked after doing a double take at her words. But the woman was long gone and the others were making their way out of the room to their classes.

“Tough break. Want some egg white bites?” Jacob asked, easing closer to Janine and holding out a plate. The solemn woman looked up at him with a new determination. “No. I don’t have time to eat.” She said before walking out. Jacob was mid-bite when he turned and faced Naoya, who was putting her bag over her shoulder. And before the man could even speak, the woman stopped him. “No, I don’t want your peasant food, Jacob. It’s insulting that you would ask someone as cultured as myself such a question.” She started before strutting out of the break room. Jacob stood there in disbelief.

“It’s just egg white bites, you put them in the microwave.”

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“Janine, what on earth are you doing on that thing?” Naoya asked as she rushed down the hall to the smaller woman who stood on a ladder. She had just come from using the restroom and leaving a class of a bunch of nine to ten-year-olds unattended for even a few seconds could lead to chaos. She didn’t know that chaos would be the grown woman who was the height of a nine to ten-year-old.

“I’m going to fix this broken light.” The woman said determinedly, only a step above the floor in the heightening tool. Naoya made it next to her, seeing the woman wasn’t doing much movement. She placed her hands on her hips, a smug look on her face. “Janine, you are not meant to go to those heights. God gave you your stature for a reason. Plus you’re terrified.”

“I am not terrified.” The woman said, shooting a glance at her. At that, Naoya gave her a knowing look before ushering the woman to go ahead. Janine nodded and looked back at the matter, fear gripping her. She gulped looking back at Naoya. “Okay, I am terrified but I’m gonna do it because I’m on a mission.” She said before carefully making her way up the ladder.

“If this backfires, you buy my dinner,” Naoya asked, after checking in on her classroom through the glass door, seeing them still doing their reading time. At that, Janine gave a confused look to the air, since she was too scared to look down. “Uh, no. This bet is not in my face, at all.”

“Well, at least have some faith in yourself, goodness gracious.”

At that, Janine continued, taking the cover off the lights and continuing to tweak at the wires. “See, look at this. It was just a loose wire.” The woman said, briefly glancing down at the people below her. She then connected the wire with another one, watching as the light stopped flickering. But it didn’t stop for long, the bulbs brightening before bursting in her face.

“Oh!” The woman screamed as she ducked:

“Janine!” Naoya yelled from below her, hosing her arms out in case the woman fell. Instantly, all the rooms were filled with the sounds of confusion and discomfort. The doors opened as the teachers exited.

“Oh, God! Can someone please help me down?” Janine asked, her voice shaking from the fear of the height she was at and the bulb exploding before her.

“And why would we do that since you caused this situation?” Melissa asked as she propped her door open.

“Okay, I didn’t know doing this would cause all the power to go out.” Janie tried to justify, still clutching onto the ladder.

“Well, the power is not all out,” Barbra stated. “It’s on in some places and off in others.”

“It’s off in my room,” Gregory said.

“On in the gym.” The coach said tiredly, slugging up to the group.

“Yeah, it’s off in my room,” Melissa spoke back up. “Thank God we got the A/C or we’d all be meltin’ already.”

“Okay, well before anyone freaks out, the best thing to do in these situations is just stay calm and—” Naoya started as she looked around the group but was silenced by the frantic voice of their terrible and terrified principal.

“Okay! This is it, y'all! The End Times!” The woman said as she rounded the corner in a hurry, a light strapped to her head. “It’s three months early, but it’s happening!” She said, as she closed in on them, giving the closest thing to her a tousle, which happened to be the very thing that was holding Janine up.

“Aah, don’t shake the ladder.” The smaller woman yelled from up top.

“Gregory is the only person that can stay in my bunker, so stop asking.” The crazed principal continued. Naoya’s head jerked back at her words, shocked at the woman’s blatant advancements that were harassment at this point.

“Ava,” Barbra started, holding her arms out in a non-offensive manner to calm the woman. “It is just a partial power outage. Alright, listen up everyone—.”

“Listen to Barbra, y'all!” The doomsday woman yelled, still latched into the latter out of fear.

“Are you kidding me?” Janie asked, clasping at the top of the ladder for support as it shook again.

“This is what we’re gonna do.” Barbra started again. “Everybody without power, please, head to the gym.”

“Head!” Ava chimed in again.

“We will conduct classes there until this is all fixed. It is not ideal—.” She stressed, looking up at the culprit on the ladder. “But it will work.”

“You hear her. Let’s go!” Ava demanded with a nod.

“Guys!” Janie called from the top of the ladder, causing them all to look up at her. “I-I just wanna I-I’m sorry, everybody.” The woman said nervously. “I just thought if I could get up here and get this done then we wouldn’t have to wait and..”

“And look where it landed us, baby girl.” Barbra cut in. “Everybody please head to the gym. We’ve got bigger fish to fry now.”

“Oh, Jesus! My branzino! Everybody out of the way. Out of the way!” Melissa yelled as she sprinted down the hall filled with children.

“Well, if someone can please help me! I feel like I’m one wobble away from death!” Janie begged from where she fluted the top of the ladder. At that, Naoya walked closer, raising her hand to help guide the woman down but was intercepted by Gregory's large arms. The two people glanced at each other, unexpected by the other one's move. Naoya waved her hand, signaling him to help instead. “Thank you,” Jannie said, too spooked to even pay attention to the odd interaction before her. “Okay, give me your hand. Take your time.” Gregory soothed, his large hand latched onto Janine’s. When he was turned away from her, she gave the camera an odd look, scratching the back of her ear. “Whenever you're ready.”

“Okay.” Janine sighed. There was a moment of silence between them all as they waited. “Am I doing it?” Janie asked, just standing there.

“No, honey,” Naoya spoke up, raising an eyebrow at such an odd question.

“Okay, let’s do a count of three.” Janine reiterated, adjusting herself to prepare.

“Okay,” Gregory started. “One, two…three.” He finished and the woman still wasn’t moving. “One more time.” He said.

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“This is all my fault,” Janie said as she looked around the gymnasium at all the students. The shock clock then went off, the constant noise startling Gregory, who paused his class to speak to the woman. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have tried to do the job of a newly graduated DeVry student, but this is okay.” The man sassed, with an awkward smile as she gestured around the room. Melissa was teaching her kids the best she should with something in flashcards, while Barbra was teaching her students to tell time.

Naoya was on the other side of the room, all her students sitting in rows with their eyes closed and taking deep breaths, with her in the front as a group meditation process. She chose this alternative instead of their gym scheduled gym activities, so the kids weren’t accidentally hitting four-year-olds in the head with basketballs.

Janine sighed, going to pick up her phone that pinged. She read the messages she got from Tariq, and that pissed her off even more. Well, it wasn’t helping her attitude for today.

“I made this mess, and I need to fix this.” She said again, looking around at the distressed room of teachers.

“Okay, but fix this how? Gregory asked her. “It seems very outside of your skill set. You should probably just wait for somebody to get to it—.” He tried to reiterate what Barbra had been saying all along and Janine was not having it.

“I don’t want to wait for someone to get to it!” Janine hissed. “You know, our children have needs that deserve to be met. And I’m going to fix this. Nothing is going to get in my way.” She said determined.

“What if you have to climb another ladder?” Gregory finally asked. “Those seem very tricky for you.”

“No.” That was all Janie gave him. “Not today.

Sometime later, the bell rang, signaling to everyone that it was much time.

“Aren’t you going to lunch, Janine?” Melissa asked as she, Barbra, Gregory, and Naoya made their way to the gymnasium doors.

“Uh, no, I’m actually gonna stay and help the lunch ladies with lunch.” The shorter woman tried to find a reasonable excuse.

“The lunch ladies don’t like you, Janine. They never say hello back.” Naoya said, crossing her arms as she looked at the woman across from her. “So, is that what you’re really doing?”

“Yes!” She answered. “And maybe trying to get the lights back on.” She rushed out at the end, hoping no one heard. At that, the two older women groaned.

“Would you give that a rest?” Melissa started. What do you want? To make the whole school blow up?”

“No!” The woman said as she folded her arms. “Plus, I can’t. Luckily the school was built as a bomb shelter in WWII, so…”

“Let it go.” Barbra practically begged the girl before her before she and the rest of the teachers started walking away.

“Okay, I will.” The woman told them, watching them exit. She and Gregory held long eye contact, both knowing the truth deep down. After they were gone, Janine looked back down at her phone, not paying attention to her friends next to her.

“You’re not gonna let it go, are you?” Jacob spoke up.

“No, I’m not gonna let it go, Jacob, okay?” She said, giving the two of them a look. “I need to right my wrongs.”

“Okay, we’ll count me out.” He said, waving her off.

“I never counted you in,” Janine said to him, confused about where he got that from.

“Well, then count me in.” He restated. “Because I don’t have any lunch plans.”

“Okay.” She sighed. She then looked at the woman next to him, her purse on her shoulder. “Weren’t you going to lunch?” She asked.

“You owe me lunch, remember? Your plan backfired.” She reminded the woman from earlier with a shrug. Janine sighed, turning away from them and walking, knowing they would follow. “That’s not how bets work, Naoya. Both people have to agree.”

“That’s how my bets work and you owe me food, woman!”

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“This is just like the one in my apartment, this is going to be easy,” Janine stated as the three of them made their way to the breaker box that was in the custodian closet. “Me and Tariq have to go in that thing like three times a month.” She said them behind her, Jacob holding the flashlight above her head.

“Maybe you should move.” The man suggested.

“Yeah. Tariq says he is “practicing” his credit score.” Janine struggled out and she pushed to get the metal box open. “Apparently 380 isn’t a good—.” She continued to struggle, her words getting lost in her. “Let me try,” Naoya said as she softly nudged the smaller woman out of the way. She gave the box a pull and the thing popped open. She turned and smiled at the two. “I loosened it,” Jannie said, trying to save face.

“Sure, Jan,” Naoya said, going back to looking in the box. “Oh..” she said, looking at the jumbled mess of wires and switches.

“Oh, no,” Janie said, looking at the same thing. “Don’t touch. Not even a little bit.” She read out loud, giving the camera a certain look. “Uh, okay. What’s that say?”

“End of the Road? It’s so hard to say goodbye?” Naoya read out loud, looking at the labels next to some of the switches. “What? Motownphil—These are Boyz II Men songs.” She deadpanned, turning to the rest of them.

“Why?” Jannie asked, moving to stand in front of the box herself.

Jacob chuckled. “It’s ironic ‘cause I’m on Bended Knee.” He joked, giving the camera a brief look. Naoya genuinely snickered while Janie just laughed awkwardly. “Heh. Okay.” She said before going back to the wires. “Oh God, why is that one hot?” Offering them a glance of concern. “Let me try this one.” She said and just a flip of a switch caused a giant spark to erupt, the trio screamed and jumped back to dodge the sparks as best as they could.

“What in the world.”

“What going on?”

Melissa and Barba exclaimed as she entered the hot and dark school building with children running around. “It’s so hot I’m gonna frizz.” Just then, Janie and Jacob came out of the appliance closet, their hair a mess from the static they endured. The three teachers who left for lunch automatically knew who the culprit for everything was.

“Janine! What did you do?!” Barbra asked, quite fed up with the younger woman. “Looking like ‘who shot John.’”

“Barbra, look, I know you told me to let it go, but I couldn’t. Jacob and Naoya—.” At that, she looked back to see where the woman was but she was nowhere to be found. “Jacob helped me open the breaker.” She was quick to accuse.

“I ran away as soon as the sparks started flying. I was looking out for myself.” The woman shrugged as she leaned against the wall next to her. “Plus, I wasn’t about to get yelled at by Barb for this whole mess.”

“It was a chance to support a strong Black woman.” The man next to her breathed out, in a state of shock, quite literally.

“The breaker?!” Melissa asked. “Janine! You can’t do this stuff! What had you come to work today and lose your mind?”

“Look, I—.” She tried to find something to say. “I just have—she gulped—I feel lightheaded.” She said as she swayed.

“Ohh, okay,” Barbra said worriedly as they all closed in on the smaller girl.

“Did you eat today, because I know you didn’t have lunch,” Melissa asked the girl worriedly.

“And you didn’t have any breakfast,” Jacob stated, his tone showing his concern for the woman’s wellbeing. Janine couldn’t even say anything, her balance was off and her mind was delirious.

“Okay, we’re losing her,” Melissa yelled, easing up on the girl. “Do I have your consent to slap you?” At that, Janine fell backward into Gregory’s arms just as Ava and Naoya rounded the corner. “There she goes,” Melissa said over the shocked screams of her colleagues. “She’s out.”

“Yall feel this heat?” Ava asked, just now seeing the sight of the woman on the floor before her. “Oh my God! She’s pale like a zombie! You know, they eat the hottest people first, let me back my tasty ass up.” Ava said, going back to where she came from down the hall. At her stupid words, Naoya was tempted to follow her but snapped out of it when she saw Janine on the floor.

“Uh, okay! I’m gonna go see if I can get some water out of the fridge. Hopefully, it’s still cold.” Naoya said before running off.

“Oh my God, my branzino!” Melissa yelled, moving to push Barb back.” “Excuse me, Barb. She’ll be okay!” She yelled as she pushed the older woman out of her way and jumped over the unconscious woman.

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Once Janine woke up from her little coma, the coach told her that all the kids and teachers were outside. She walked out to see all of them playing in the water that was sprouting from the fire hydrants while the teachers lunged in chairs. “Oh, look who’s back in the land of the living,” Melissa said once she saw the small woman exit the school.

“Who opens the fire hydrant?” Janine asked

“Well, as Melissa would say, snitches get stitches,” Barbra said.

“It was Naoya,” Jacob whispered to his shorter friend, pointing over at said woman who was playing in the water with the children. She had her bat at her side, leaning her weight on it as she splashed the kids who came near her to throw water her way.

“That is correct.” Melissa started again. “But I am not talking to you on account of you killing my branzino.” She said, before leaning back in her seat. Barbra gave her a look and cleared her throat. Melissa looked at the woman from under her shades and sighed a little before sitting back up. Barbra then got up from her seat, allowing Janine to take it.

“So that’s it, huh?” Janine asked, looking around at the kids. “I , uh, gave it my all, passed out, and ruined the school day?”

“Oh, you tanked,” Melissa told her. “You tanked Janine. You took the whole school down with you. It was impressive.” She pressed, knowing she was pushing the woman’s buttons.

“Look, I know. I should’ve stopped. I’m sorry.” Janine sighed. “I just felt so bad when I saw that look on Melina’s face this morning.”

“You don’t think it kills us to see those faces in the morning?” Melissa asked her. “What, are we made of stone? You’re not the first person to feel things, kid. We care.”

It was silent for a moment as Janine thought over the woman’s words. “How do you and Barbra stop yourselves from caring too much if that’s a thing.”

“Because it’s the opposite.” Melissa smiled at the girl as she took off her shades. “We care so much we refuse to burn out. If we burn out, who’s here for these kids? That’s who you gotta take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, what’s with you today Nini?” Both women jumped at the sound of Naoya’s voice, while the woman just stood behind them with her bat. “You’re normally bananas, but…” She trailed off, waving at the girl's aura.

“Uh, I don’t know. Just some stuff at home, I think.” Janine shrugged with an answer.

“Oh, okay,” Melissa said with a nod. “See, that’s the other thing me and Barbra learned. All that at-home stuff—you gotta leave it at the door. Otherwise, you open up a whole nother Panera’s box of problems.”

“I think you mean Pandora’s box,” Naoya told the woman sitting in front of her.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s Panera’s box.” She nodded, while Janine and Naoya both gave the camera a look.

Later on that day, Naoya was in her room in the process of changing the clothes she had on into some that she kept in her closet. She enjoyed playing in the water with the kids but she was not going to go home wet. As she was in the process of changing, she got a phone call. Looking down at her phone, she saw the contact and quickly answered the phone.

“Hello, Adona.” The girl sighed into the phone as she pulled a new shirt over her head.

“Oh, well don’t sound so pleased.” The feminine voice over the phone said to her. Naoya rolled her eyes, as she opened the drawer of her desk and pulled out a plastic store bag. She offered the camera a glance, knowing they were probably thinking as to why she kept so many plastic bags in her drawer. But all she could offer them now was a shrug as the voice over the phone continued.

“Anyways, how are you?”

“What do you want, Adona?” Naoya spat, stuffing her semi-wet clothes into the plastic bag.

“What? I can’t see how my own sister is doing?” The woman said over the phone, the hurt in their voice obviously sarcastic.

“No, but I know you. And I know that you only call when you need money. Money for something other than your child.” The younger girl snapped over the phone. All she got in response was a sigh and some shuffling from the other end.

“You know, you don't have to rub it in.” Adona started, and Naoya rolled her eyes at the woman’s words, knowing this conversation was about to go to the argument they always had. “This all would have been so much easier if the rest of us weren’t left out of her will.”

“That’s not my fucking fault, Adona. I tell you that every time you call. Do you think I want the burden of you and the others calling me every month for some fucking bill for me to pay? Not to ask how I’m doing?” Naoya spat at her sister over the phone. She could feel her eyes start to sting, she was never the best at arguing when it came to her family. She’d been called sensitive all her life and it rang true every time she talked to her siblings.

“ “The others”? That’s what you call us? You’re family?” That was all Adona could say back. Naoya rolled her eyes and let out a scoff, pulling the phone away from her face as she sniffed and held her head back, trying to stop her tear flow. After only a few quick seconds, she brought the phone back to her face. “Uh, I can already see where this is going, so I’m gonna end it here. Just send the amount and I’ll talk to you some other time. Take care.” She said before pressing the red button on her screen to end the call.

She placed her phone in her back pocket and moved around her room to gather her things, trying her best to occupy her mind from what just ensued. She was so in her head that she forgot the cameras were there. And she didn’t hear the voice of Gregory at her door.

“Naoya?” He called out to her.

She looked up at the sound of his voice as she placed her things into her bag. “Oh, Hello Gregory.” She smiled, her face showing none of the emotions she was feeling.

“You’ve eaten?” He asked, just standing in the doorway of her classroom.

“Uh, no, actually. Janine was supposed to buy me lunch because I bet that her plan would backfire.” The woman said as she placed her things in her arms. At that, Gregory gave her a questioning look. Naoya raised her hands in surrender. “I know, I sound like a terrible friend. But it’s not that I don’t believe in Janine, I just know how to black a bet. Get it from my father.” The girl shrugged. She and Gregory both laughed lightly. And when it died down, they just started at one another, the air between them oddly peaceful.

“But, uh, are you offering?” She asked, looking at the man before her.

“Uh, yeah. I was going to ask Janine too.” He said, pointing his thumb in the direction of the said woman’s room.

“Cool! Let’s go.” She said with a genuine smile, causing the man to smile at her as well. They walked out and over to Janine’s room, where it looked like the woman was doing something on her phone. Gregory knocked on her door to get her attention. “Hey.” He said.

“Hey,” Jaimie said, looking at the two.

“Have you eaten?” He asked.

“Oh. No. The um, lunch lady gave me that can of peaches but no can opener, so, no.” She chuckled, pointing at the can on her desk.

“What? No fair! You’re so lucky. Well, besides the whole can opener situation. ” Naoya said jokingly.

“Alright, we’ll, you wanna go get something to eat? With me?” Gregory said before Naoya lightly cleared her throat. “With us?” Gregory was quick to reiterate. Naoya nodded, offering the slightly flustered older man a brief look.

“Oh,” Janine said, looking between the two. “I was gonna wait for my boyfriend to finish his show to eat…” She said. Naoya nodded at her words, understanding where she was coming from. Well, understanding as best as she could because she’d never wait to eat for a man. But maybe that was love. She caught the way Gregory’s posture changed at Janin’s words out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t say anything but she did give me a crazy side-eye, hoping he noticed.

“But…no.” The shorter woman started back up with a laugh. “I’m hungry now, so I should eat now, right?”

“That’s typically how hunger works, yeah.” Gregory played along.

“Right! Normal people eat at normal times, like…4:00.” She said, pointing over at the clock on her wall.

“Yeah. All true.” Gregory said with a nod before smiling. “So, let’s go eat.”

“Let’s. Okay.” Janine said with an equally large smile before moving to grab her things. At that, Naoya turned around to head out the door, not wanting to be in the middle of an obvious love fest. She gave the cameras outside a knowing look, a large smirk on her face.

Seconds later, the two of them walked out of the room, Naoya joining them to go down the hall. On their way, they ended up meeting Jacob.

“Oh, hey guys, what up?” The man said.

“We’re just headed to get something to eat,” Gregory answered.

“Oh, great, I’ll join.” The man just inserted himself, not catching the looks thrown his way by the three. “After school crew.” He continued.

“Ooh, “After School Crew.” I like that.” Janine smiled. They all ended up stopping at the lights coming on within the school. They looked over to see Mr.Johnson in the supply closet, standing next to the breaker machine in his fishing gear.

“You touch the lights, didn’t you, Janine?” He asked, shooting an accusatory look the woman’s way.

“Yes,” Janine answered with a defeated look.

“Good thing I got me a system.” The man told her, flicking the breaker box closed. “I’ll make love to you. Like you want me to.” He continued to sing. This caused them to all sigh and continue walking. Naoya stayed behind, a fond smile on her lips as she watched the old man. When he caught the sight of the woman still there, he paused and looked at her.

“You have a good fishing trip?” She asked the man, crossing her arms over another. The man looked at the girl kind of shocked that she asked and that she knew.

“Yeah. Yeah, I actually did.” He said, offering her a smile of his own. Naoya nodded at his words before walking away, following the crew that left her. Mr.Johnson looked at the spot she left, a fond smile on his face as she continued to sing the song.

[anticanonsposts]

wholesome proposal/wedding thoughts

i need könig so bad man

totally sfw :)

in the least love bomb-ish way possible he would be infatuated with you immediately and if you wanted to marry him within the first 3-4 months of dating, he would say yes

but, knowing you, he waited long enough until you guys had gotten serious, lived together, and waited until you had made multiple jokes or references to you guys being married

i love him but I don't think he’d be the most subtle guy when figuring out what ring to get you 

you first noticed when he spent an inordinate amount of time looking at your hands when you wore rings

you would also catch him looking in your jewelry to see what colors you usually got 

(he makes sure to get the absolute basics of if you prefer silver or gold)

as it gets closer to the proposal you notice a couple of your rings go missing briefly, because he took them to a ring shop to get them sized 

when you asked him if he had seen them around he just happened to know the obscure places you ‘left’ them

Like in the cupholder in your car, or in one of your dresser drawers…

once he found the perfect ring, he’d be sooooo paranoid that he was gonna lose it, and checked about 100 times each day to make sure it hadn’t magically disappeared 

he also would change his hiding spot for it, so that you never found it 

given that he is a very private (shy) person, the proposal is not done with a large audience

he most likely would take you on a semi-private dinner, in a less busy restaurant, or one that offered more private seating so that you two could be more alone 

however the one person he does invite is either one of your best friends or sibling (who ever is closest to you) and has them wait somewhere nearby so that they can capture photos of the proposal 

once again, he is not subtle…

you defo notice that he is more nervous than normal and barely touches his food, which is VERY unusual for him

then finally when dessert is served he grabs one of your hands and says that he wanted to ask you something (lol you already know) 

he tells you how fulfilling your relationship has been and how much he loves and appreciates you

then finally gets on one knee and says, “will you do me the honor of marrying me?....Please?” (guy’s hands are SHAKING) 

you obvi say ofc, yes!!!

both of your hands coming to his face pulling him towards you into a kiss

in return he pulls you completely against him, wrapping his (giant) arms around your torso and you are assaulting his face with kisses, only interrupted when he says

‘schatz schatz, I need to give you the ring’ a laugh rumbles through his chest, gently pulling you off of him and guiding the ring onto your finger 

both of you have glossy eyes at this point  

for the next two weeks he is on cloud nine, absolutely nothing deters his mood

he also holds your hand CONSTANTLY and stares at you even more than he normally does

man is just so happy 

[kaijuparfait]

I saw ur tags about indulging in the body horror aspect of the Symbiote/Host dynamic and im just here to say: do it >:3

YES.

GOD. ok so. I've always enjoyed the concept of body horror, not all the way, but it looked cool in art! But! Recently Symbrock (and Venom as a whole) has turned that up to 100- both in a "Wow! Cool alien creature biting people's heads off! >:D" way, but also in a "The goo is in his organs, his tissue, his cells... how romantic!" way.

And, if you'll excuse me, I'll only be talking about my (limited) knowledge/headcanons with Symbrock because I haven't read all the comics yet so this is all with Eddie and the Venom Symbiote in mind-

Firstly, I don't think I've ever seen anyone mention how the Symbiote can enter/exit it's Host's body through their skin, without damaging the Host. There's no wounds, just the easy slide in between layers of cells, Venom can be as solid as they want but can also come together so seamlessly, its like watching someone fold a deck of cards.

Even on a psychological standpoint, the idea of actually being "Venom". Singular. Not "We" are Venom. But the idea of two beings, from different sides of the universe, coming together perfectly as one being, one mind, one consciousness. A bit of an OC ramble, I have this OC that goes into this idea of acting as one being and I'll talk about them later but WOAH is it fun. The sheer intimacy of it.. not losing your own self, but simply combing it with another to create something- someone new.

Ok onto the actual body horror-

I am not normal about the Symbiote literally being in Eddie's blood. Blood is everywhere in the body, anywhere you poke, blood will come out- and in that, the Symbiote, ready to heal the wound.

Speaking of healing wounds, and also this post because I keep rereading it, it makes me ill, the Venom Symbiote truly sees it's Host as it's home. and that does something to me. The way it keeps the body healthy, like how you would clean your house, no longer having to worry about illnesses or infections; how it heals any injuries, like fixing a broken wall, repainting it, like there was no damage in the first place.

Knowing it's home so well, able to know what's wrong and how to make it right. Complete and utter devotion to it's beloved home, the one that keeps it safe, willingly, lovingly let's it- wants it inside to keep it safe. To know that something that could tear apart planets if it so wanted to, something that bares it's rows of teeth as a natural expression, something that has destroyed countless lives- to know something like that gently rests in the space between your organs because it wants to. And how much you want it to too.

And this goes both ways too! When they're Venom and get hurt, they way the Symbiote peels away from the body is.. its amazing that the Symbiote can be torn away from it's Host. When Eddie gets hurt, the Symbiote comes out, from inside- When Venom gets hurt, instead of blood or organs, it's Eddie at the center, but he acts as the same anyways. Eddie is the Symbiote's life, he is it's heart, carefully tucked away and protected.

Even though Eddie doesn't particularly enjoy eating people's brains, he comes up with a compromise for the 2 of them anyways, he buys tons of chocolate for it to eat too, and that adds up for a guy that is living in a one room flat. and AND AND I will never get over how, in LTBC, Venom leaves all the red m&m's, because the red dye is said to be harmful to humans in large amounts, so even though it's one of the few things it needs to live, it refuses it to keep Eddie- it's Host- it's home safe.

and, I mean, Venom totally could eat Eddie if it so wanted to, in the first movie, Eddie's literally going through.. several organ failures- but Venom puts him back together, back better! and i am suddenly ill-

excuse my weird ideas but hhhhhh Eddie being torn apart and put back together..... yeah. how much trust is needed for that? how much love is shown from letting it consume his flesh and bones, from it eating the thing it loves the most, from it knowing every ridge and curve of every organ and cell to put everything back where it was?

how much love is needed to destroy something, to be destroyed, and come back together?

also Trust Exercise is a dang good fic, i need more of this. please. or i'll start making it myself (i'll do it anyways)

This, too, can go both ways, I am a big fan of swapping how Eddie and Venom and portrayed, both in canon and in fanon, just for the fun of it- and I'm just saying... let Eddie tear apart the Symbiote! maybe Eddie wants to rip it apart with his teeth and bare hands! Let them fight and rip each other apart, but with love <3 (oh fight/sparring scenes between friends/lovers, how i love you so)

you can't really see it well, and i'll make a better show of it later, but my design for (movie) Eddie has sharp teeth and that isn't for no reason. I.... ADORE the idea that, after being Venom for so long, Eddie starts adapting parts of them into his "normal" body- sharper teeth, clouded eyes, maybe even some of his skin is pitch black too, just because it makes him feel like Venom in his everyday life, even a little bit.

ough i need to lay down after that but- THANK YOU so much for asking me this, this was such a treat to let out, it's like a weight has been lifted off me lmao

i'll probably have more on this topic later on, but i'll probably use those ideas for art/writing, i love thinking about them :3

EDIT: ALSO ALSO ALSO the way the Venom Symbiote literally goes against it's very nature to love Eddie, it goes against what every other Symbiote does, it betrays it's entire race and planet- JUST TO BE VENOM WITH EDDIE <3

[sammyluvr]

hiiii marí!!! how are you??? ;))

hmm, like, i've been thinking about sam x reader with amnesia (platonic or romantic), do you have any hc about that?? thanks <33

HI BABYDOLL <33 i'm good i missed you! how are you <33

i wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be a full set of hcs which might be why i missed this ask so sorry love! but i’m just gonna do a little brain dump for now since it felt hard to format as request headcanons for some reason if that’s okay <33 lmk if you want them as a full set of hcs like i do for requests though!!

i’m also not sure what kind of amnesia you mean but that just means i can talk about lots of different things hehe <33

if it was a simple(ish) case of retrograde trauma amnesia where you lose a bit of your memory because of getting hit in the head and getting a concussion, well, even though he knows it’s normal and that you’ll likely regain the memories, he’s still so worried. it really scares him that you don’t remember what happened to you or how you got injured, especially if it happened while he wasn’t with you for whatever reason!! he would really really really hate not knowing and he’d hate the confusion that he’s sure that you’re feeling. 

he knows you well enough to know that it’s really frustrating for you not to remember exactly what happened :(( so he’s really very comforting about it!! promises that you’ll remember in time and that it’ll be alright. and you’re alright now so that’s all that matters!!! lots of kisses (if you’re romantic) and trying his hardest not to show you how worried he is.

or we have the very dramatic total amnesia which is very rare medically so why not have it be that a witch cursed you!! at first, he’s so confused and concerned, what do you mean you don’t remember who you are? who i am? but he quickly catches on to realize that you’ve forgotten literally everything except for basic functioning skills. and he wants to comfort you and hold you and kiss you and reassure you like he normally would about anything else scary. but he knows that you technically don’t know him, so that would just confuse you further.

so instead, he’s still very comforting and sweet because you’re very obviously frightened and confused. he just has to keep his distance :// but he’s incredibly kind and caring and promises over and over again that he’ll help you figure this out. he also understands (and hates) that you have no idea if you should trust him. but it’s likely your only option, so you let him help you. and of course, he sticks to his promise, being sure to take care of you until he can break the spell and bring your memory back.

ugh the angst if your memory only returns slowly though for whatever reason. so in the very first few moments/minutes after the spell is broken, you’re still clueless and he’s terrified that it didn’t work. but slowly, you start to remember and he’s so relieved. sometimes your memories return in big swaths and you get so overwhelmed, or little moments that you don’t even notice. he’s always there to comfort you if you’re overwhelmed by the amount of memories you gain back. or if it’s a particularly heavy and difficult memory that you basically have to process all over again :(( he’s just so sweet and comforting through all of it.

maybe it’s a few hours after the spell breaks and you’ve begun to remember the details about him and your relationship, and that part is lovely of course, but there’s lots of heavy things for you to remember too, so you’re just very stressed and quiet in the small motel room. and sam doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but he also wants to comfort you. and you’re still you 100%, so he knows just how much his kisses comfort you :,) so he gently asks if it’s alright to kiss you. and that immediately sounds like such a comfort, so you instantly agree. plus you very clearly remember loving the act of kissing him. in fact, you very clearly remember loving him, and you certainly still feel that exact way. and yes, when he kisses you, everything starts to feel a little bit better and you get a new, soft rush of sweet and simple memories of him and it’s quite lovely.

[eddsworld-nonsense]

Very random thought of an ask, but what would make the best present for each of them? (Can be main or all I lorve them)

Will probably draw some of these out later, but here is the list and explaination:

Edd: Literally Anything

• He is somehow astonished by even the dumbest of gifts, he still gets sparkles in his eyes when Ringo brings him dead mice

• He is also big on the "its the thought that counts" mindset, so even if he doesn't like it he will still be grateful just to receive a gift

• Wow hopefully this doesnt stem from childhood trauma

Tom: Handmade Gifts

• While he tends to ASK for things like music supplies and booze, anytime he gets something handmade his heart just melts

• The thought of someone putting in any amount of dedication to a present makes it something he cherishes forever

• It also reminds him of his childhood, when him and Jon would make each other goofy little gifts when things got rough

Matt: A Painting of Himself

• Yes, he still has a massive ego and would love a giant picture of himself

• But he likes getting paintings because it 1) shows how that person sees him and 2) it lets him see himself again since mirrors don't work anymore

• I imagine he has a wall of his room dedicated to paintings of himself, occasionally swapping them out with newer ones (He still saves the older ones dw)

Tord: A Hug

• "Ew cringe wtf do you mean a hug for Tord, he is an asshole and--" SHUT UP AND LET ME COOK

• Anything you could give Tord, they could ignore. They are so heavily convinced they are horrible that most items will be assumed to be some sort of threat/bribe/danger.

• The one thing that they can't chalk up to lying is physical affection, so hugs are the best way for them to actually realize "this person wants me to feel good"

Eduardo: Costumes for His Dog

• Eduardo doesn't really like gifts, he appreciates the thought but he isn't really attached to any of his items

• But, he always gets a kick out of dressing Doguardo up in silly little outfits

• He goes from total jerk to total softie if he sees the dog in a goofy ass sweafer

Mark: A Spa Day

• Mark hasn't been able to take care of himself as much as he wants to, mainly due to work and depression

• So being able to take a day just to focus on himself, with everything he could worry about being covered

• He would like, probably smile at you and that is big for him

Jon: A Companion of Some Kind

• Jon gets pretty lonely with Mark and Eduardo working most of the week

• He doesn't want to get a pet because of his fear of hurting them on accident (he already worries a lot over Doguardo)

• So either a pet he 100% couldn't hurt or something that could keep him company when alone

Laurel: Pot

• She is a simple women with simple wants

• She would 100% want to get high and watch adult swim

• Either that or just give her money

Fawn: Therapy

• She insists that she wants Tom, she just needs to talk to a professional

• She should also probably go to jail because girl has committed crimes

• She would be fine if she actually got help, but instead she just stalks a stranger

Margo: A Ticket Out of Here

• Margo wouldn't need to kill his doppelganger if he didn't live in the same town

• He isn't supposed to leave, Bing won't let him, but if he could book it without being found he would

• He just wants to live a normal life without the looming guilt of Tord

Mim: Nothing

• They wouldn't understand anything you try to give them/do

• You would need to explain any gift given

• Idk they would probably like stuffed animals once they understand them

[kdramahunter]

alchemy of souls

Okay let me start this by saying I don’t really like what you call “period pieces” or historical dramas, which is why I kept putting this one off because it just seemed like one based on the images I saw everywhere. Once i decided to start I couldn’t stop watching it. I swear I normally keep a note with my comments so that I don’t forget what I thought while watching but the note for this drama is just all caps, shocked and entranced, so you know it’s good. 

I think that the acting was a little off putting at first because it’s a drama set in the past but the acting felt like it was set in the present in a way. However, I think that helped a lot because normally those dramas are slower and this was just not, it had the perfect amount of wits. It’s not like I can fully comprehend Korean, but I understand enough to pick up when dialect changes or when the language is from the past, and this one didn’t feel like that, even though of course it did have that essence the overall feel of the dialogue was much more present like in my opinion. 

See this drama made me torn between the two male leads, I was going crazy trying to decide who I preferred but they were able to balance the love I had or felt for bot leads because yes I loved them both but I still believed more in the main couple. In my opinion when it’s a love triangle you need the perfect balance of loving both leads but understanding which couple makes the most sense, and this clicked perfectly to me. Loved Hwang Minhyun’s acting, I think Seo Yul’s role was perfect for him. 

The amount of shock and plot twists that it had was insane. I was so entranced with the story line I wanted it to end to know what would happen but also I wanted it to be longer, the anticipation was insane to me. 

It definitely felt like a rollercoaster of emotions, the heart ache, sadness, but then the romance that made me giggle was a really good balance. This is one of the longer dramas I’ve watched, it having two parts and all but I swear I don’t think I was ever bored and no matter what happened I kind of knew the ending but I couldn’t really predict it which is exactly what I love. 

Fair to say it’s a really good watch and I will absolutely be rewatching it soon. 

Plot: 85

Acting: 90

Ending: 95 the cheesiness dropped half a point

TOTAL: 90/100

recommend? yes

links:

explore tags | about the blog | recommend kdramas

[slingshot78]

Ahh, so I'm not the only one who thinks that the interaction between the characters (especially with the Transformers) are a complete disaster/confusing. I want to see some emotions and friendships explained, not only rage and revenge or just... Being neutral??? I'm not sure if I explained that right :') I'm sorry for my broken English, I totally agree with your opinion in this

Absolutely!!!! (also LOVE the gif)

I feel like bayverse does a horrible job with making the characters seem like real sentient beings than just robots who fight. Because that's not all they do, they have relationships, friendships, likes, dislikes, personalities.

Age of extinction was probably the closest we'd get to the transformers interacting on a normal sentient like level. With OP grieving ratchets death, Bumblebee and Drift fighting, and Crosshairs and drift.

Other than that, everyother duo absolutely was trashed by Bayverse complete incompetence at focusing on the main focal point (the transformers) than the humans. You can def tell Bayverse tried to make them "tough" and that involved erasing every amount of interaction possible between the characters.

That's one of the reasons I love Crosshairs and drifts duo so much. They actually interact on more than just a "fighting over bs" level. Whereas bumblebee and cross fight, cross and Hound fight, etc etc. We get to see them, slightly, interact with eachother on a more friendly level.

Drift didn't have Crosshairs at his throat everytime he said something about him or touched him AND drift and Crosshairs have their own attack combo together which is 100% something I wanted to have seen more!

But I don't want to go babbling on about every little detail on Crosshairs and Drifts interactions so I'll just finish this off with yes.

Bayverse sucks at making their characters REAL.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts (June 27-July-04)

Tsukihime

Screw it, Akiha ABDL

Pet play: Ciel takes Arcuied round the back and puts her down like Old Yeller

Fate/Stay Night

Shinji gets isekaid after that one time he gets killed in canon but life isn't any better for him in the new world(by his standards at least)

shiki vs taiga swordfight. battle of the ages

taiga learns tiger drop which negates all damage

okay , for real , outta all the f/sn masters, i bet shirou would have the easiest time adjusting to the chaos of life at chaldea . an rin is stuck on the struggle bus with now way out the second she meets BB.

a wave of peace and quiet flows through the clocktower , why ? rin & luvia were tf'd into hex maniacs and no one wants to turn 'em back to normal b/c they aren't total assholes in that state . hell, shirou's even okay with those remaining like that , especially since luvia's taken up gardening. having a friend bring fresh produce when they pop over unannounced has done wonders for his cooking.

Rin Tohsaka being TF'd into Luvia's trophy wife

Smut, unsanitary, Ruby fully re-brainwashes Rin like when she was a kid and makes her piss herself live on stage in front of thousands of people in her old Magical Girl costume. The brainwashed Rin of course finds this very erotic and ends up fingering herself as she pisses buckets.

Fate/Extra

edit BB.exe, setvar arousal=TRUE, setvar canorgasm=FALSE, setvar pleasure=5*pleasure, exit

FGO

Gudako after eating Van Gogh's flesh from her valentine present is in great need to get another bite

kadoc & gudako should bond through shoplifting at sephora

Smut, there’s plenty of content about morgan and her husband. where’s the content of morgan and her wife??? I wanna see gudako dutifully satisfying her witch wife’s needs in the bedroom; bonus if Morgan has a dick (as in in a trans way, because fuck yes). let gudako suck her wife off dammit!!!

somebody at chaldea figures out after xxx or more years of repression they are not straight and/or cis. specifically a servant because post mortem milestones of life are extremely funny to me

Smut, I humbly request for mash/morgan porn where morgan refers to mash as her "trophy."

Ophelia Phamrsolone learns her last name is entirely because of a centuries-old typo. Several typos. Drunken insistence a scribble was legible, really.

all of the support servants of Chaldea (such as Scathach Skadi, Merlin, Waver, etc) decide to go against Gudako because she always overworks them during grinding sessions. It’s up to the writer to decide if they succeed or DIE because of Chen Gong

Raikou and Tiamat fight over who's Guda's mother. End up solving the problem by marrying each other.

The Chaldea mom club learn about the amount of servants in love with Gudako and decide as Gudako's mother(s) that they need figure out who is worthy of taking the masters hand in marriage. Cut to B.B hosting the matchmaking equivalent of America's Got Talent with them prize being to marry Gudako.

let's put beryl in the chen gong cannon

castoria and guda use each other as chew toys and nobody is sure whether or not its a sex thing or not(correct answer is sometimes yeah but not always)

Guda finds out that she has a weight gaining kink/wants to fatten up after spending too much time watching how happy Caesar and Cleopatra are

warhammer 40k tournament at chaldea ,

a few people at chaldea play 2 truths and a lie : here's gudako's list: i run a salamanders army on the Warhammer 40k table top ( true) when i took this job , my main goal was to not die a virgin & by the emperor did i succeed !(true) and i have my coochie pierced ( false)

Chaldea holds a pride parade. Turns out every single servant is queer in some way, at least once modern concepts of gay and bi and trans and whatnot are explained to them, so there's a 100% turnout rate. Somehow nobody saw this coming.

this is a *big* request but with most of his lines being translated now i crave bhima gorging the absolute hell out (wg, stuffing, anything in between)

Smut, Due to the presence of a large number of people who can actually go blow for blow with her in Chaldea, Barghest regularly engages in battle sex. Powerbomb into mating press is a hell of a drug.

Smut, After Morgan tells Gudao to get rid of all his other Berserkers and asserting that she's the only one he'll ever need, he finally puts his foot down and disciplines the former Queen of Fairy Britain. Things don't go quite as planned and naturally, this has unintended (sexy) consequences. Now, Morgan starts causing problems on purpose just so she can be "punished" by Gudao, much to his consternation.

Smut, Gudako gets sent with Mash to Aesc and the threesome is so good that all their traumas vanish, the Lostbelt is fixed, and Queen Morgan has two new Consorts.

gudako convinces castoria to kill gudao so castoria can stay with Gudako. unfortunately castoria and Gudao murder each other, and what will gudako do?

There’s a reason why despite the constant Arts farming, Castoria is still alive: She drinks 10 cups of Monster just to stay awake and alive. Bonus points if her stash of Monster Energy Drinks are stolen or is found.

Arcueid & Kukulkan, ultimate one squad

Smut, Dobryna getting summoned in place of her husband to protect him and then fucking Guda sounds like an ntr plot, so why not write it like one?

Alexander/Iskandar meets Berserker Darius only to realize his ancient rival is nothing like he remembered. Can be played for comedy but I'm imagining more the scene from Sopranos where Tony and Junior meet for the last time

Scheherazade plans for, and goes on a date with, Nitocris. Swaps back and forth between Scheherazade being anxious and hyper-over-planning for every negative contingency and Nitocris comforting her as things go very well actually.

Smut, nitocris says she wants to marry master( which ever one you want) and the other pharaoh/egyptian servants and their partner help her become a good wife in-n-out of bed due to this master pass out the first time they have sex.

Baobhan Sith keeps trying to be a mean girl, but ends up accidentally helping everyone, and gets mad about it. The last straw is when Guda praises her, so she decides, in a fit of impulsiveness, to do the most diabolical thing she can think of doing to Guda; Baobhan Sith steals their first kiss. The only problem is that Guda was actually saving their first kiss for them anyway, so it was all for nothing.

arjuna & junao try out the twin- switch trick , their success in fooling people will depend on the prompt filler

Dinofucker Olgamarie

Join us on our new Chaldea game show, “Justify! That! Atrocity!” Starring featuring guest stars like Gawain, Mordred, Abigail, and many more!

Ereshkigal and Ishtar inherited Rin's dumb Bissexual rizz and end up creating their own harem without even realizing it

chaldea summoning galahad by complete accident. meanwhile, lancelot is FREAKING OUT about this

Berserker Lancelot is always just emitting that freaky growling noise of his due to the chronic pain, and thus is constantly miserable. That is is, until Tomoe Gozen shows him Microsoft Flight Simulator, and the simple happiness overtakes the pain and rage

Smut, Director Olga Marie can't stop masturbating

Smut, Castoria + prostitution. A country girl gotta do what she gotta do all alone in britain yknow.

After Guda is captured by the mages Association so they can transfer their command seals to a more trustful user who will give better use to their army of servants, a servant finds them and begs them to escape, that Chaldea can keep them safe, while Guda begs them to kill them, that way nobody will go after Chaldea and there won't be a risk that these command seals will fall in dangerous hands

the real dobryna already had imposter syndrome due to being just a squishy human while his wife & daughter(s?) are some pretty dang strong monsters. and his wife committing identity theft in order to join chaldea just rubbed salt in the wound. now it's up to the koyan twins to solve their dad's problem , because if they don't , he's gonna run off & elope with gudako.

due to boredom, Castoria tries the Grimace Shake. It is up to the writer to decide if she dies or not from drinking the shake

FGO, again

Rasputin has a skill with a chance to trigger guts, chaldea plays a game and bet how many times they will have to kill Rasputin before he dies

Chaldea ends up summoning Saber Galahad Alter AKA the Cooler Galahad from Fate/Requiem, and Mash ends up experiencing what it's like to have a big brother, while the original Galahad is low-key seething because everyone likes his far more approachable Alter self, including Mash.

Smut, Morgan x Ronald McDonald smut

Gudako and Castoria left too many bite marks on each other just for Oberon to tease them about it.

warhammer 40k tournament at chaldea : you've got gudako with her salamander army, tomoe of all people is running a chaos undivided set up, osakabehime has her Astra Militarum (aka guardsmen) & a back up adeptus mechanicus army, and sei is in possession of some very impressive Ork kitbashes., and then there's morgan spectating ; she currently does not have a good grasp on how to play the game , but she did enjoy painting a few sisters of battle minis with gudako.

locusta finds out that people on the internet call her nasu.

Due to the constant pause in the flow of time due to the world nearly ending and the constant rayshifting that puts their physical body in suspension Guda's mind has aged much faster than their body, so i propose: Mid 40s Guda that still looks like they're is in his early 20s and acts like they're in their 60s

Jing Ke runs out of her monthly supply of booze, and Moriarty has cut her off from the bar due to making a mess last time- leaving her with only one option, Shuten Douji. She starts drinking Shuten’s Oni-wine, and begins developing Oni traits because of it.

Tiamat comforting a character with mommy issues, Raikou, Mordred or Jack would be ideal, but given the amount of tragic backstorys in this franchise, everyone needs some motherly love

Sei Shōnagon called Scheherazade’s summons pokemon once a week ago, and she’s been in an existential crisis ever since, trying to figure out if she needs to collect gym badges or not

Li Shuwen is not allowed to fist his partners anymore :(

[cutepervert]

ty to @tigertofu for the tag <3 dont have many friends on here yet but i'll tag the people that i can think of off the top of my head, @rreskk @chloe12801 @heisentwerk

Were you named after anyone?

not as far as I can tell. my mom likes to say im named after julius caesar but i think shes lying

Do you have kids?

no and have noooo interest it is simply not for me i think

Use sarcasm a lot?

yes, less so on the internet but irl i do a LOT

First thing you notice 'bout people?

it's hard to pick out one thing because i often interpret the totality of a person (like their vibe ig?) before i focus on any details. this is not to say that i dont focus on details i absolutely do but that's often long after i've determined the person has an interesting vibe based off their outfit/the way they carry themselves/etc

Eye color?

hazel. i think? like a light brown with greenish bits in the central heterochromia zone

Scary movies or happy ending?

hard to say tbh! I like a neat ending (not necessarily a happy one) and both scary movies and 'happy ending' movies tend to have neat endings (or at least neat enough to set-up for a sequel LOL). I like both, it all kinda depends on my mood

Special talent?

oh i struggle so hard with this question... like, i have several things i am moderately good at (writing, drawing, et cetera) but ive never been especially skilled or talented at a single thing like other people are. jack of all trades master of none that's the kinda bitch i am. also sidenote but i think talent isn't real. if it is real it describes nothing but someones desire to practice a given thing which then makes them good at it. nobodys born good at shit. prodigies are fake and they are all lying to u!!!!

Your hobbies?

lol. hobbies... what are those! no frfr i play video games write fanfic and once in a while when i have the energy to set up a workspace i like doing very hands-on sculptural art like papier mache and clay sculpture.

Any pets?

no i wish :( want a cat so bad but our aint shit landlord (who tbf is usually really fine and normal and chill so i guess there had to be ONE THING at least that sucked abt him) said no

Playing any sport?

LOL. no. fuck sports..... except i like watching basketball because those men are freaks of nature in the best way and i like to imagine in ancient times we'd have them do feats of strength like climbing up a very steep mountain face. i just love those lengthy boys. kevin durant especially is such an extruded guy every time he falls during a game (which as it turns out is way more often than i thought) im like okay this time his legs have to have snapped in half. and they dont! probably because he drinks his milk or w/e. takes him vitamines. wild shit. anyway yeah i dont do sports

How tall..?

5'7 last time i checked.... imo the perfect height. not too short not too tall but also not too medium. on the tall side of medium sized. love being this height.

Favourite subject in school?

hard to say bc it depended so much on the teacher but i loved most of my english classes and a good amount of my history classes. history is sooo girlypop to me like we're truly just sharing 100+ year old gossip like it's not nosy as fuuuuuck

Dream job:

i do not dream of labor but i think the ideal job for me is one that doesn't feel like it's sucking 100% of my soul out my mouth (will settle for like 30 to 50% soul sucking) and hopefully serves to help other people through creative expression (because i dont know how to do anything else LMAO). i basically have that job rn but it's still Hard and Annoying so i suppose nothing will ever b perfect

[psychedelic-ink]

this was 9.3k???? I often read fics on ao3 because the tumblr app keeps shutting down and believe me did this not feel like 9k AT ALL-- It was so beautifully written and the story just sucks you in. This is literally perfect to read during cold winter mornings and I'm enjoying every last bit of it ❤️❄️

I just can imagine Pero being a grump so clearly and laughed at him keep saying "magic, witchcraft" that man must be so confused %100 of the time. Them opening up to one another and being friends is warming my heart and I love the way you laced the fact that their time is limited in both of their perspectives. The car scene absolutely killed me lmaodfvdfvdf and the way Tessa reeled him in with food????? perfect

Also, god, Tessa's backstory was so sad. I just wanna crawl into my screen and give her a hug, I would also want to bake her something for a change

Tessa taking him axe throwing was so freaking cute, and him teaching her 🥺🥺🥺🥺 then the scene where her ex shows up???? and Pero in the car being angry and telling her they scared her and that's harmful by itself. I loved every part of this chapter so much, everything is so perfect, and brilliant storytelling

I love this series a normal amount....yes....totally normal

Thank you for sharing!!! and happy holidays ❤️❄️❤️❄️

Stranger At My Gate - Chapter 4 (Pero Tovar x modern!OFC)

A time-traveling Pero. A modern woman trying her best. A kitchen full of possibility. A helping of Midwest kindness. A dash of magic. And a lot of Christmas spirit.

paring: Pero Tovar x modern!OFC

ratings & warnings: T for now [mentions of food insecurity; mentions of a toxic workplace; discussion of parents/grandparents dying; men being vaguely threatening towards Tessa (not Pero); protective!Pero; yearning out the wahzoo; arguably way too much OC backstory; non-explicit hints of Tessa’s praise kink]

word count: 9.3k [yeah I dunno what happened there either]

a/n: Oh my. Strap in, folks. This one got away from me. A lot of things happen in this chapter. Probably too many things. The garbage disposal reference is dedicated to @whataperfectwasteoftime, who sent me the lovely ask that inspired it. ❤️

Previous chapter.

Masterlist.

————

Four.

When Tessa was in college, she spent a semester in London.

For a young history major who’d never left the borders of her own country before, exploring Europe had been a dream. Things and places she’d only ever seen via images on a screen were suddenly there, in real life, to see and hear and touch and feel. Things and places that were old, older than she felt she could truly conceive of, that felt holy and sacred by the mere fact that they had endured.

Westminster Abbey.

The Tower of London.

A Gutenberg Bible.

Notre Dame.

The Mona Lisa.

St. Peter’s.

Even in the pub she’d frequented with her friends in Hampstead she’d felt the enormous weight of history, a shiver of distinctly nerdy excitement accompanying every pint with the knowledge that the pub had been there for more than four centuries.

It is especially astonishing to her then that, as old as all of those things are, all of them had been created far into Pero’s future.

What little information she’s been able to wheedle out of him since Moira had bridged their language barrier has allowed her to narrow down the year he’s from to about 1030 or so. Pre-Battle of Hastings, as Moira had suspected. And every day, Tessa is stunned anew as she remembers something else that didn’t exist in Pero’s time.

Forget Dickens or Milton or even Shakespeare. Pero is centuries too early for Dante, for Chaucer.

Sixty years too early for the First Crusade.

Two hundred years too early for the Magna Carta.

Three hundred years too early for the Black Death.

Tessa thinks she probably won’t tell Pero about that last one.

She tries to introduce Pero to things slowly, and only as needed. No use showing the man all of the ways life has changed and become easier in the past thousand years if he’s only going to be here seven weeks.

The problem is that Tessa is realizing just how much she doesn’t know about how really any of the modern conveniences she’s used to actually work. She’d accepted the morning Pero had woken up in her house that she would never be able to explain things like electricity without language, but now she’s realizing she can’t really explain those things with language either.

She tries anyway.

She plays him bits of music from her phone, trying to pick things at first that might have some shared familiar element with things he’s heard before: soft acoustic versions of songs with just a guitar; Irish drinking songs; hymns. Songs that tell a story the way a bard might once have done and that don’t contain too many modern, synthesized sounds. Hotel California. Scenes from an Italian Restaurant. Goodbye Earl.

But it’s tough to convey that there’s an actual logical, science-based, technological explanation for why and how these sounds are emanating from a tiny rectangular piece of metal.

Tessa lasts three days before she graduates Pero from listening to audio to watching video, going absolutely insane from not being able to have her tv on while she goes about her day.

She tries to give him as much information as she can beforehand, to reassure him that what he will see is mostly very elaborate - but very fake - storytelling, but she also recognizes that at the end of the day, she’s asking him to place an awful lot of trust in her.

The first time she turns on the tv, Pero’s whole body goes rigid. Tessa can see his eyes get big as she tries not to be too obvious about watching his reaction. It’s clear that telling him about what he would see and him actually experiencing it are two very different things. After a moment, he gets up and slowly approaches the tv, reaching up to where it’s mounted over her fireplace and placing his hand on the screen. The image changes to a different camera angle and he jumps, startled, and Tessa has to bite back a giggle at how utterly innocent a reaction it is.

“Magic,” he murmurs, with a small shake of his head. “Witchcraft.”

“Technology, Pero,” Tessa gently corrects him.

He says that a lot when she shows him something new, often grumbled half under his breath like he doesn’t quite believe that there isn’t any magic involved in any of this. Tessa honestly can’t blame him.

Once she can use her tv in front of him it actually becomes easier to give him more information about how things work, and to give him a little better picture of how the world is now. But she still mostly sticks to streaming platforms without ads, every commercial break revealing a hundred new things Pero has no context for.

The two of them end up sitting down most evenings after dinner and watching something. Tessa mostly picks historical or fantasy movies. The Three Musketeers. Robin Hood. Pirates of the Caribbean.

As far as she can tell, Pero relies on her to gauge his reaction to the things she shows him the way Tessa looks to flight attendants during turbulence: if she doesn’t seem concerned, there probably isn’t cause for alarm.

Still, on the whole, he’s not as visibly freaked out by any of this as she would expect him to be. One evening, as they share a skillet’s worth of spicy shakshuka and slices of crusty garlic bread, she brings it up.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He nods, a mouthful of food precluding him from answering her otherwise.

“You seem astonishingly calm about - “ she gestures broadly to everything around them, “all of this.”

He looks at her expectantly.

“That is not a question, Tessa Walsh.”

“My question is - why? How? I’m a literal witch and I know I would be losing my mind if I were in your situation. I find it pretty remarkable, actually. Your...fortitude.”

Pero doesn’t say anything right away. He does this, she’s noticed. He takes time to respond to her, and she’s had to learn to be patient.

“A few years ago, I was part of a company of travelers making their way to the far eastern land of China.”

Tessa sits up in her chair. Pero is an anthropologist’s wet dream, but he hasn’t been terribly proactive about sharing much about his life with her thus far.

“Only myself and my friend William survived the journey.”

“Why were you trying to get to China at all?” Tessa asks softly, attempting to hide how much she desperately wants to know everything about this, about him.

But suddenly Pero’s not sure he wants to tell her the rest of this story. Not because he’s worried she won’t believe what he has to say about the Tao Tei, but because he’s afraid of what she may think of him and his actions.

William had stayed and fought, he’d faced death and come out a hero. Pero had selfishly abandoned his friend and fled, a thief in the night.

“We were...looking for something. We had heard rumors of a new kind of weapon, a black powder that could do unimaginable damage to an enemy.”

“Gunpowder,” Tessa says, eyebrows rising in surprise. “That’s right...the Chinese invented gunpowder.”

“You know of it?”

“Everybody knows of it, Pero. It changed the course of human history. But that doesn’t explain why you haven’t run from here in terror after seeing my microwave or hearing my garbage disposal.”

Pero still isn’t convinced that the garbage disposal isn’t really a demon living in Tessa’s sink, but he continues.

“When we made it to China, we found the black powder we were looking for. But we also found...something else.”

He tells her about the Tao Tei, how he and William had fought the monsters and witnessed the incredible invention and bravery of the Nameless Order. He doesn’t look at Tessa when he describes his attempted theft of the black powder, his recapture, and William coming to his rescue.

“He should have left me there,” Pero says bitterly to his plate.

Tessa pauses with her fork halfway to her mouth. “What?”

“He should have left me there,” Pero repeats. “He should have taken the powder instead and left me to rot. It was nothing more than I’d deserved.”

Tessa sets the fork down and reaches across the table, gently gripping his chin in her hand, tilting it up so he's forced to look at her again.

“I’m glad he didn’t,” she says with a quiet fierceness. She has to stop herself from giving him a gentle rub of her thumb against his jaw (his strong, scruff-covered jaw) before pulling her hand back.

“And I guess that explains your nerves of steel about everything new you’ve seen, huh? Subjecting you to my Spotify playlists and movies full of fake monsters is nothing after you’ve actually faced ones in real life.”

———

The house is noisy in ways Pero isn’t used to. It’s loud.

Not that the places he’d been accustomed to in his own time had been silent, whether he was camped outside, or staying at an inn, or bunking with fellow soldiers. The whistle of the wind was usually a constant, always finding some new way to infiltrate under a door or a window or a through a crack in the wall. Depending on where he was, he’d hear the sounds of animals nearby, horses or chickens or songbirds. The crackle of a fire in a hearth. The patter of rain on a roof. The rustle of fellow soldiers in their bedrolls, or the movement of other patrons outside the room he’d have bought for the night. The sound of William’s voice, chattering on at him despite his usual reluctance to respond.

But this house is full of unfamiliar sounds. The dull hum of the larder Tessa calls a fridge. The whirs and thumps of the machines down the hall that wash and dry his clothes. The trickles and whooshes of water from the sink or the toilet or the shower. The cyclical murmur of the house’s invisible heating system (despite there being a perfectly adequate and working fireplace). It never stops. It’s never truly quiet. The house is, it seems to Pero, alive in ways he does not understand. It’s unsettling.

And then there is Tessa.

Tessa, who hums and sighs and mutters to herself as she goes about her day. Who sits in her armchair many an afternoon with a book, rustling pages as she reads, sometimes laughing or gasping quietly at some part of the story. Who plays her music and sometimes sings along as she rustles through the many instruments in her kitchen until finding the thing she needs and working through another recipe. Who talks to Pero and asks him things and watches him through her long lashes like she’s actually interested in what he has to say.

Tessa makes the house feel alive in ways Pero does understand, but finds no less unsettling.

———

Three days into sharing her house with her strange new roommate, Tessa works through the next recipe she wants to post to her site, a crumb cake made with thick slices of apples cooked in cinnamon and brown sugar. She has two different kinds of apples, sweeter Honeycrisps and more tart Braeburns, and decides to try them both separately. As they bake, the entire house fills with the quintessential scents of warmth and spices and autumn. After they’re done, Tessa calls Pero over, cutting each of them a slice of both cakes.

For the first time, Tessa asks him for feedback on something she’s cooked.

“My preference is for the Honeycrisp,” she tells him, “but I always go for the sweeter version of anything. I need a second opinion.”

He takes bites of both.

“They’re good.”

Tessa waits, but he doesn’t seem inclined to elaborate.

“And?”

He shrugs, methodically making his way through the rest of the portions on his plate.

“They’re good. Everything you make is good, Tessa.”

Something pleasant and warm blooms in her chest at his quiet, direct praise. But it’s still not an answer to what she’s asking of him.

“But is there one that you prefer? The Braeburn’s a little more tart, but I think that it does go nicely with the brown sugar. And what do you think of the cinnamon? Have you ever had cinnamon before?”

He shakes his head.

“Not that I recall. And I don’t prefer one; they’re both good.”

Tessa chews her lip thoughtfully. She pulls out and sits on the stool closest to where Pero is standing, getting as near to his personal space as she dares.

“Pero, I have a very important question to ask you.”

He looks up at her as he chews.

“What’s your favorite food?”

Again, he shrugs. “I don’t have one.”

Tessa frowns in surprise.

“What do you mean, you don’t have one?”

“I don’t have one.”

Tessa’s mouth hangs open as she tries to wrap her head around the concept.

“How is that possible? How can someone not have a favorite food? How can you not have a favorite food? You put away food like it’s your job, Pero. You devour everything I’ve put in front of you thus far. How can you not have a preference for at least something you like?”

The corners of Pero’s mouth tighten.

“Food is not about preference, Tessa. Food is about taking what you can get so you do not starve, and eating it quickly enough so that no one can take it from you.”

Oh.

The queasy sour feeling of shame grips Tessa’s stomach. Of course. How could she have so easily dismissed and forgotten about what she knows of Pero’s life?

In an instant, a whole new perspective on food opens up in her mind’s eye. Tessa isn’t ignorant of her own privilege, of the fact that so many people, even in her own community, don’t have enough, and that food isn’t something she’s ever had to worry about. She’s not ignorant of nor indifferent to the truth that there is so much food in the world that no one should ever go hungry, and the injustice that millions of people do anyway.

But never has Tessa considered that someone might view food solely as a means of survival. That someone might have known so little pleasure from food in their life that they cannot even conceive of having a favorite dish.

Tessa doesn’t push Pero any further on the matter, and they finish their crumb cake in silence.

But later that night, Tessa becomes a woman possessed.

Long after Pero’s gone to bed, she sits on the couch with her laptop, having tumbled head first down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about the diet of Europeans during the Middle Ages.

It was mostly a lot of grains, she discovers. Grains and extremely weak beers because most water sources would make you sick.

Bleak. Bland and bleak.

Tessa makes as comprehensive a list as she can of all the foods she has in her kitchen and a bunch of foods she could easily get on her next grocery run that she knows did not exist in Europe in Pero’s time.

Pero may not have a favorite food, but Tessa is sure as shit gonna give him the opportunity to find one.

———

Tessa finally meets some resistance from Pero about a modern invention the day she pulls her car out of the garage, no longer able to put off several errands she needs to run.

“Pero, come on!”

“No.”

The man crosses his arms, plants his feet, and pouts.

“I have tried to take in all the things you have shown me thus far with an open mind, Tessa. Your little communication device that also plays music and the moving images on your teevee and your internet portal of knowledge, but this is clearly a cursed death trap you’re trying to lure me into for your own amusement.”

Tessa is a little insulted on behalf of her car.

“Pero, it is not a death trap,” she says, indignant. “It’s a Ford Fusion, for fuck’s sake. And it is much safer and more comfortable than any horse you’ve ever been on, I promise. Besides, you’re gonna be here for a little while, you can’t spend that entire time cooped up in the house. Let me show you my town. Come on, don’t you wanna go to the post office?” She teases, knowing full well he has no clue what that is, and probably still wouldn’t be interested in it if he did.

Pero attempts to stare her down. Tessa plays her trump card.

“Did I mention that one of the places I need to stop by is the grocery store? You know, the place where I buy all of our food?”

Pero’s scowl doesn’t shift, but Tessa sees the interest creep into his eyes.

“You mean a market?”

Tessa nods. “But bigger and full of more kinds of food than you can possibly imagine, Pero. If you come with me, I’ll buy you anything you want. And I’ll take you to the McDonald’s drive-thru after. We’ll get cheeseburgers and fries.”

“Are you attempting to bribe me with food?” he asks.

“Is it working?”

He huffs, rolling his eyes, and awkwardly folds himself into the passenger seat. Tessa’s grin is akin to the Cheshire Cat’s.

“Magic,” she hears him mutter. “Witchcraft.”

Tessa doesn’t bother to correct him, instead showing how to fasten his seatbelt.

———

Tessa is certain she gets more pleasure out of introducing Pero to new foods than she does introducing him to anything else.

Stuffed eggplant parmesan. Oven-braised beef with tomatoes and garlic. Pear, cranberry, and gingersnap crumble.

And as Pero discovers new dishes for the first time, it’s like Tessa re-discovers them along with him. She can’t remember the last time she felt this excited about cooking. It even inspires her to make progress on her book (much to her editor’s relief). In between home-cooked meals she shares her favorite processed snack foods with him, too.

Frosted brown sugar cinnamon PopTarts. Double Stuf Oreos. Blueberry Eggo waffles.

And slowly, Pero starts to figure out how to actually enjoy food. Tesssa tries to be so careful about not pressuring him in any way, to never make him feel like the way he views and consumes food is wrong. Instead, she coaxes him to take the time to savor meals, to take notice of different flavors and textures. She gives him a safe space to be able to say no, I don’t like this, or yes, I do, and I want more of it.

“What do you think?” she asks him one afternoon, several days into this exercise.

Pero sips a spoonful of the soup she’s put in front of him with a thoughtful expression. He swallows, and Tessa tries her best not to focus on the way his throat moves when he does so.

Then he shrugs.

“I’ve had better.”

He’s never said that before. For a moment, Tessa just gapes at him.

“What do you mean, ‘you’ve had better’? Confidence in my own skills aside, it’s squash - it’s a native North American crop, not to mention there’s a bunch of spices in there that also wouldn’t find their way to Europe for centuries after your time. It would be literally impossible for you to have had - “

She stops, mid-sentence. The corners of Pero’s lips have quirked up, and there’s the tiniest little shake in his shoulders.

“Hang on,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him. “Are you - Pero Tovar, are you messing with me?”

He looks down at his bowl and quickly scoops another spoonful into his mouth, but he cannot hide his smirk.

“Oh my god, you are. You’re totally messing with me!”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You do too, you absolute bastard.” She tries to make it sound stern, but she can’t make her expression obey, her lips stretching wide in a smile no matter how she fights it.

“That is not funny, Pero,” she says through her laughter, and the more she tries to suppress it, the funnier it becomes, and the more Pero starts to laugh too.

It might be the first time she’s seen him truly smile, let alone heard him laugh.

It’s beautiful. He’s beautiful.

———

That same evening, as they sit in their usual places on the couch, Pero finally asks Tessa something he’s been curious about.

“Would you tell me more about your Gift?”

Tessa pauses the credits to another episode of M*A*S*H.

“What do you want to know?” She’d told him the bare basics the first day she could speak to him, if only to clarify that whatever witchy stereotypes he may be familiar with didn’t apply to her family’s type of magic. But he hadn’t asked for more information. Not until now.

“You always tell me that all of these things -” he gestures to the tv, “have nothing to do with your magic. Perhaps I should get better at recognizing magic when I see it. If only for my own safety,” he adds wryly.

And I want to know more, he thinks. I don’t understand why, but I want to know more about you.

Tessa turns to fully face him, putting her legs up on the couch and wedging her toes in between the cushions.

She starts telling him about her Gift: what it feels like, when it first started to make itself known, what it’s been like to live with and to keep secret.

“I could feel it, you know. That you would come here. Not that I knew that’s what was going to happen, but just...this feeling. That something was coming.”

“Does it frighten you?” He asks. “Being able to feel these things?”

“Only when the thing I’m feeling is bad.”

Pero cocks his head at her. “Bad?”

“Sometimes, the feeling heralds something good or hopeful. Like I knew my sister was pregnant all three times before anyone else, even her. But other times, it feels...wrong. It’s a sick, sour feeling in my gut.” She pauses, trying to figure out if she wants to tell him more. She decides she does.

“I felt it before my parents died.” She says it so quietly Pero almost doesn’t hear her. “I was sixteen, and had barely slept for days. This awful feeling of dread kept me up at night, stronger than I’d ever felt before, but I didn’t know what it meant. And because I never quite know what the feeling refers to, I can’t ever do anything about it. Henry and Amie were both away at college by then, and I didn’t say anything to my parents because I didn’t want to worry them.”

She props her elbow up on the back of the couch and rests her cheek on her hand.

“They were in a car accident. A drunk driver ran a red light and hit them,” she tries to say it without emotion, to just relay facts, but Pero can hear the pain that is still so evident in her voice. “The EMTs - the medics who get called to help when things like this happen - told me they probably died instantly. So at least they - “ she has to pause here for a moment, before continuing, “at least they didn’t suffer. They didn’t feel any pain.”

“I’m sorry,” Pero says, not sure what else to do except to look Tessa in the eye and try to convey to her how much he means it.

“After that, I moved into this house, actually. It was my Gran’s; my grandfather died before I was born and afterwards she moved in here to be closer to us grandkids, and to Moira. We got each other through our grief, I like to think. I learned how to cook from her. Every spare minute we had we’d be in that kitchen together; it was like as long as we kept busy, kept cooking, kept creating, we could bear back our grief, keep it from consuming us whole.”

Tessa looks over the back of the couch at the kitchen, and Pero is sure she’s seeing the ghosts of a thousand memories of that space in her mind.

“She was like me,” Tessa murmurs, a faraway look in her eyes. “We had the same Gift. So she understood more intimately than anyone that I wasn’t just sad, I was angry. Angry at myself, angry at my Gift for not giving me the ability to prevent what had happened. She was angry at herself too, for not having been able to save her daughter and her son-in-law.”

Pero thinks he might understand in some small way what that’s like. He recalls moments from when he’d been younger, when he’d been foolish enough to get swept up in camaraderie and brotherhood with his fellow soldiers, only to see them get cut down time and time again on the battlefield before his eyes, unable to prevent it despite all his fighting skill. He can’t imagine how much worse that helpless feeling would be if it had involved his own family.

“I started Kitchen Witchery to share and document what we made,” Tessa continues, “and the site remained this little hobby that I kept coming back to all through college, and then law school, and then even when I was out working.”

“Three years ago, I started having that feeling again. But I was...not in a good place. I was working at a big law firm in Chicago, and it was killing me. I was so overworked and so miserable, I didn’t even recognize the feeling for what it was until Henry called me to tell me Gran had passed in her sleep one night. I hadn’t been home to visit her in a long time, and then suddenly, the person who had become my best friend was gone.”

Pero is not someone accustomed to giving, or receiving, physical comfort, but he has the strangest urge to reach across the couch and gather Tessa up in his arms.

“She left me the house. We’d never talked about it, I’d never expressed any interest in it, but she left it to me anyway. She always seemed to know what I needed, even if I didn’t. I quit my job and moved back in here and now,” the barest hint of a smile crosses her face, “here we are.”

A sneaking suspicion that there is more to that story flares in Pero’s mind, but he ignores it.

“I’ve never told anyone any of this before,” Tessa says quietly, almost surprised at herself. “It’s actually nice to have someone to talk about it with, outside of my family.”

“I’d never told anyone about the Tao Tei before,” Pero responds. “I’d never thought anyone would believe me if I did.”

She meets his eye and something shifts between them, now that they’ve laughed together and exchanged secrets, a new sense of ease and understanding weaving itself into the fabric of their relationship.

They may be in the running for the oddest pair of roommates in history, but now, they’re friends too.

———

The next day marks a week since Pero’s arrival. The occasion ends up being marked by Tessa’s sister barging into her house before nine in the morning.

“Oh good, so you are alive,” Amie says in greeting, her tone thick with exasperation.

Tessa blinks at her from where she sits in her breakfast nook, sipping her coffee and scrolling through Twitter while she waits for Pero to be done in the shower before starting breakfast.

“Good morning, Amie,” Tessa replies, “please, do come in.”

“Don’t get cute with me,” her sister says. “How am I the last person to know that you’ve been harbouring a time-traveling thief in your house?”

Tessa gets up from her seat, glancing down the hallway.

“Please keep your voice down,” she murmurs, holding her hands out in front of her to try to placate Amie.

“Pero is not a time-traveling thief,” he is, technically, but that’s not the point, “he is my guest and I’m just helping him out until he’s able to go back to his own time - “ she squints at the calendar stuck to her fridge, “six weeks from now.”

Her sister sighs.

“Tessa Elizabeth Walsh, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Amelia Margaret Walsh, how did you even find out?”

Amie rolls her eyes. “How do you think? From Moira, of course.”

Now it’s Tessa’s turn to sigh. This conversation was inevitable, she supposes.

“Amie, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But I was handling it and I didn’t want you to worry. You’ve got a lot going on right now and the farm opens up in two weeks - “

“That does not mean I’m too busy to know what is going on in your life, especially if this is what is going on in your life! Are you going to bring him to Thanksgiving?”

Tessa has an inch or so on her sister, but Amie’s presence has always completely filled and dominated any space she’s found herself in. A tiny, sandy blonde tour de force.

“I don’t know, I - I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

“Because if you want to bring a complete stranger to Thanksgiving at my house and have him be around my children, I am going to first have to meet - “

“Tessa?”

They both turn and look at Pero, who’s emerged from the bathroom. His attention is entirely on Tessa, as though he’s waiting for her to let him know whether to be concerned about the steadily rising volume of voices in the house.

“Well Amie, I have good news. Amie, Pero. Pero, Amie.”

There’s an awkward moment of silence before Pero nods his head politely and offers Amie a quiet, “Hello.”

Amie eyes Pero up and down, though what she’s thinking even Tessa cannot say.

“You vouch for him?” she asks Tessa.

“I do,” Tessa replies without hesitation.

Amie exhales, then opens her mouth to say something else but she’s interrupted by the buzzing of her phone in her pocket.

“Shit,” she hisses, fishing it out and looking at the screen. “I’ve got to get to the farm for a delivery. Nice to meet you,” she says to Pero, “and you -” she looks at Tessa, “be good.”

Then she’s out the door faster than Tessa can remember that she has a tin of cookies intended for her niece and nephews sitting next to her stove.

“My sister, everybody.” Tessa turns back to the table and takes a long sip of her coffee.

“Is her Gift...intimidation?” Pero tentatively asks. “Because I’ve been in the presence of noblemen who did not give off such an imposing air.”

Tessa laughs, and she sincerely hopes Pero will keep showing her more glimpses of what she suspects is a very dry, very intelligent sense of humor.

“You get used to it,” she replies. “And no, her Gift is, well...”

There’s not a particularly elegant or imposing term to describe Amie’s Gift, not like intuition or healing or manipulation. Personally Tessa thinks the coolest-sounding magic in their family is their great-great-great grandfather’s Gift of metamorphosis, a talent he’d used to great effect as a Union spy during the Civil War. Compared to those, horticulture just didn’t have the same ring to it. But anyone fortunate enough to witness Amie’s Gift soon found that her power was at least as impressive as anyone else’s.

“It’s plants,” Tessa tells Pero. “Growing things. Our mom had the same Gift. It’s why Amie took over the family business after she died. The Walsh Family Christmas Tree Farm.”

“Christmas tree farm?”

“Mhm. You can see it from here, actually.” Pero follows her to the window over the sink, looking over her shoulder as she points to the rows upon rows of pine trees that come all the way up to the back of Tessa’s yard. “Finest Christmas trees in the whole Midwest. But it does unfortunately mean that this time of year my poor sister is particularly high-strung.”

She turns around to face him, and the entire front of her body is all at once very, very close to his. Close enough that Pero doesn’t dare breathe.

“Don’t take it personally. She - she doesn’t mean to be rude,” Tessa says softly. Pero knows he should take a step back, but he can’t get his limbs to cooperate. She’s so close to him, if he wanted he could lean down and close the distance between their mouths, he could find out what she tastes like, it would take no time at all -

But then Tessa looks down and away from him. She slides her body around his, reaching in the direction of the coffeemaker and mumbling at him about breakfast. For the first time in his life, Pero has a hard time refocusing his attention on food.

It’s not until many hours later that he thinks to ask her what the hell a Christmas tree is.

———

There’s an odd scraping sound coming from outside her front door.

It’s now ten days since Pero’s arrival, and the November air has turned cold, too sharp and brisk for Tessa, but Pero doesn’t seem to mind it much as he sits on the small settee on her front porch. Tessa joins him, curious, and sees that he has the small axe that’s been sitting stuck in an old tree trunk in her backyard for who knows how long in his lap. Several stones he must have also pilfered from her backyard are laid out on the table in front of him, along with both of his swords. He has one stone in his hand and runs it over the edge of the axe blade, generating the unusual sound.

“You should not neglect your tools so, Tessa,” Pero says, instead of hello.

He’s been digging around in her garage and the old shed/greenhouse structure in her backyard lately, looking for ways to make himself useful. A week and a half of modern luxury and idleness are all that he can take, it seems. Several days of cold, late fall drizzle have impacted his plans to use some spare lumber sitting in the shed to patch up parts of the fence around Tessa’s backyard, despite her protests that he absolutely does not need to do anything other than help her wash dishes after dinner.

Today, he’s apparently focusing on sharpening her axe, and doing a little maintenance on his own weapons.

“Well you’re not giving me much incentive to do this myself when you seem so determined to do it for me, Pero,” Tessa teases him back.

“Yes, but I’m not always going to be here, am I?” He responds gruffly, and there’s an uncomfortable squeezing sensation around Tessa’s heart as she remembers that Pero’s seven weeks are down to five and a half. It’s strange and completely unexpected, how quickly she’s gotten used to him being here, and that the thought of him leaving already makes her a little sad.

She pushes the feeling aside and asks him about his weapons instead. He lets her hold his broadsword, showing her how to properly grip it. She can only swing it around for a minute or so before her arm starts to hurt, gaining a new level of respect for the strength Pero must have to wield not just one, but two swords competently in battle.

He guides her through the proper way to sharpen the axe, slowly filing the blade with each progressively smoother stone until the metal shines bright and sharp again. As they work he tells her stories of how he learned to use an axe, not just as a tool, but as a weapon, until he was as competent with one as he was with his swords.

“When you are a mercenary, it pays to be skilled with more than one type of weapon. Increases the chances you’ll survive the job.”

Tessa is in the middle of trying not to stare too obviously at the way one of Pero’s large, calloused hands grips the stone and confidently scraps it along the axe blade when a thought occurs to her.

“I’ve just had an idea,” she says excitedly, pulling out her phone to fire off texts to Henry and Amie. “One I think you’ll enjoy, Pero. This weekend, we’re going out.”

———

Tessa bills it as a night of food and drink out at a tavern with her siblings and their spouses. Pero’s hardly an eager social butterfly, but the promise of food and drink is enough for him. And if it’s important to Tessa that he get to know her family a little better, well, then, he’s happy to oblige.

Pero’s gotten a bit of a crash course in modern feminism and gender roles by sheer virtue of the fact that he lives with Tessa, but she’d also sat him down before they’d headed out to the bar to explain to him what it meant that her brother was gay, and if Pero couldn’t be, in her words, “cool and accepting as fuck” about it, he’d better be prepared to sleep in the backseat of her car until the solstice. But she’d been pleasantly surprised to find that apart from asking a few good-faith questions, he had, in fact, seemed pretty cool and accepting about it.

That Saturday night she drives him to a place about twenty minutes from home, located in the next, and much larger, town over from her own.

“I’m surprised you didn’t invite your aunt to join us,” Pero mutters with dark humor when he gets out of her car.

“Moira’s been banned from this establishment,” Tessa quips back without missing a beat, and Pero can’t decide if he wants to know the story there or not.

When they walk inside, a rumble of noise hits them. People talking and laughing, glasses and dishes clinking, music playing over the sound system, and -

Thunk.

The sound of sharp metal axes hitting wood.

Along one entire wall of the bar are brightly lit throwing lanes, most occupied by a group of people taking turns throwing, sure enough, small axes at wooden targets. The rest of the place has the darker, slightly grungy atmosphere of a classic dive bar, neon signs advertising Budweiser on the walls and a jukebox playing Springsteen.

“Is it common now to combine weapons training with drinking?” Pero asks.

Tessa shakes her head as she grins.

Not typically. But this is like a trendy thing now. Instead of going bowling or playing pool at a bar, you throw axes.” She looks up at him, her expression becoming a little bashful. “I thought you might like it. Henry, Amie and I have been here a few times and I thought it might be fun. And besides,” she nudges him towards the lane where her siblings and their husbands are waiting for them, “I refuse to believe this is the first time you’ve combined weapons training and drinking.”

———

They have the lane for an hour, and each lane is supervised by a trained staff member. Theirs introduces himself as Robby, who seems to enjoy the fact that five of the six of them have been here before, and therefore don’t need the standard skill and safety tutorial.

But nowhere near as much as Tessa enjoys watching Robby walk Pero through the basics of how to throw an axe, only to then have Pero take one of the instruments, square up to the throw line, and embed the axe so deeply in the dead center of the target it takes several tries to dislodge it again.

Robby lets them all go through a few practice throws before offering them the option to keep score. If any person in their group scores over one hundred points across ten total throws, their tab is on the house.

It’s a bet they readily take.

It’s clear from the jump that Pero knows exactly what he’s doing. Tessa wishes she could take video of his throws without being obvious about it. What she wouldn’t give for slow-motion evidence of the way the blue flannel shirt he’s wearing stretches across his shoulders as he raises the axe above his head, the muscles of his back and arms bunching beneath the fabric, a low noise of satisfaction leaving him every time the axe inevitably finds its target.

She isn’t half-bad herself, glad she at least hits the target consistently, if not always where she wants to. Halfway through the game, Tessa humphs in quiet frustration as her axe once again misses the center to lodge on the lower edge of the target.

“You’re releasing too late,” Pero says behind her. He hands her another axe. When she lifts it up, he moves to stand close enough beside her she can feel his breath in her ear. He places one hand on her back and another around her forearm. “You’re letting go of it here,” he says, guiding her arms forward to the point where she would typically release the axe, “when you should be letting go here.” He moves her arms several inches up and back.

“Try again,” he murmurs, his voice so gravelly and warm she has to suppress a shiver. He steps back, and Tessa throws. The axe doesn’t land dead center, but it does catch the edge of the bullseye.

Tessa whirls around with a gasp. Pero folds his arms in front of him, and Tessa feels like she could exist for days on the look of pride in his eyes. What she would not give, she thinks, to have him look at her like that again, to have him look at her like that all the time -

Far too soon, their hour is up, and Pero walks away with a score of one hundred and ten to roars of approval from Tessa’s family.

After all that a celebratory feast is in order, Henry declares, and they all take great joy in introducing Pero to the wonders of modern beer and greasy bar food. Pero is amazed at the contents of the brightly colored plastic baskets that soon cover their table, full of deep-fried onion rings, chips and salsa and guacamole, mozzarella sticks, golden pretzels studded with salt alongside cups of beer cheese for dipping, and chicken wings in several flavors accompanied by copious amounts of a white substance Tessa inexplicably calls “ranch.”

The lights are brighter, the noise level is louder, and the smell is (barely) better, but despite all that Pero is surprised to find that it feels much the same as a night of food and drink and revelry at a local tavern would when he and William were fresh off a job with coin to spare. Many things may have changed over the last millenia, but it is a bit of a comfort to know that some things, at least, had not.

He likes Tessa’s siblings and their spouses, he finds. Martin, Henry’s husband, is a doctor too. A pediatric oncologist, and though Pero doesn’t really understand what that means even after Martin attempts to explain it, it’s clear that the man is passionate about helping the sick children in his care. Amie’s husband Thom is relaxed and easygoing where his wife is energetic and quick to rile (a trait, Pero notes, that she and Tessa share). He’s a professor of literature at a local college, and looks at his wife like she hung the moon.

After the third round of beers her siblings head out, leaving Tessa and Pero to linger, determined to polish off the remaining food.

“So, did you have fun?” she asks him, swirling her fifth mozzarella stick in what’s left of a tub of marinara.

He frowns, like he actually has to think about it.

“I...did,” he answers slowly. “I did have fun.”

“Good.” The light from a vintage Coca-Cola sign on the wall behind her casts Pero in a reddish hue. It makes his scar look even fiercer and Tessa has to force herself to look away.

When they’re finally ready to leave, Pero makes a quick detour to the restroom while Tessa heads to the car.

The instant she leaves the building, dread shoots up her spine.

Her Gift. A warning.

Then she notices them. A group of four men standing near the entrance, having a quick smoke before heading into the bar.

Men she recognizes. Maybe if she just keeps walking -

“Tessa?”

Shit.

“Ryan,” she says, turning to face her ex-fiance. He takes a few steps towards her, wobbling slightly. She wonders if he’s already been drinking. Probably.

“Tessa,” he says again. He’s got a beard now, the neatly trimmed hair covering his face and neck. “Long time.”

“Yeah,” she replies. “What are - what are you doing here?”

He spreads his arms wide, the other three men coming up behind him.

“Just getting some air, you know. Just getting out of the city for the weekend.”

“Figured we’d let Ryan show us his neck of the woods,” chimes in one of the other men, a cruel edge to his voice. “See if there’s actually any fuckin’ culture out here in suburbia.”

“Daniel.” Tessa hopes that her clipped tone belies the anxiety thrumming through every vein. But even so, she can’t help her retort. “Finally got banned from every club in Chicago, did you? What indiscretion of yours is your daddy trying to keep out of the Tribune this week that he sent you and your buddies an hour and a half from the city to keep a low profile for a couple of days?”

Daniel’s face contorts in rage.

“You never did know when to quit runnin’ your mouth, did you, you little bi-”

“Everything alright, Tessa?”

Pero.

Relief floods her down to the tips of her toes.

He’s suddenly there, a solid, warm presence at her back. Tessa doesn’t take her eyes off the men in front of her, who are less cocky about encroaching on her space now that Pero is undoubtedly levelling them with his trademark scowl. There’s a firm pressure on her right hip and she knows without looking that Pero’s wrapped his hand around her there, a gesture of comfort to her and a further warning to the other men to back off.

“Everything’s fine, Pero,” she says, less confidently than she’d like. “Come on, let’s go home.”

She turns to go but he doesn’t move, glaring at Daniel and the others. She reaches back and takes hold of the hand that had been on her hip, giving it a tug.

“Pero, it’s okay. Please.”

Finally, he moves, allowing her to pull him towards where her car is parked. She doesn’t let go of his hand until she has to open her door.

“Tessa...” he starts, once they’re buckled in and Tessa’s cranked up the heater. “Who were those men?”

“No one, Pero. Just some people I know. It’s fine.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“No. No, they’re - they may talk big, but it’s harmless. It’s fine.”

“It is not fine.” Pero’s bluntness cuts right through her attempts to wave the situation away, startling her. “Tessa - “ He shifts in his seat to face her. “Those men made you afraid. That is not harmless. That is not fine.”

He actually sounds angry, the harsh rumble of his voice filling the small space in the car. It’s the first time she’s ever heard him raise his voice.

“Whether they tried to put a hand on you or not, they made you afraid. That is harm.” She grips the steering wheel as hard as she can, watching the skin on her knuckles stretch and distort. Then she sighs in defeat.

“I know, Pero. I just...I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s better to just walk away. If we hadn’t, it might - it might have escalated. This is what women do, Pero. We downplay how unsafe men make us feel from small harms in the present in the hopes of preventing larger harms in the future.”

He doesn’t respond, like he doesn’t know what to do now with his frustration. He just turns back to face the windshield, letting his back fall against the seat.

Tessa puts the car in gear and silently drives them home.

———

When they arrive back at her house, she turns the car off, but doesn’t move to get out.

“Do you remember,” she says after a moment, “when I told you I’d almost been married once?”

She sees Pero nod out of the corner of her eye.

“Ryan, the man back there with the beard, is the person I almost called my husband.”

“We didn’t meet until law school, even though he grew up not far from here. We got engaged the day we graduated, and we thought we were so lucky that the same firm had hired us both.” She hasn’t let go of the gear lever, the stitched leather creaking under her grip.

“It was a hard, stressful work environment, but we expected that. We put in ungodly long hours, put up with difficult bosses, but we did it together. We were a team. Then, two years in, we were assigned a new case working for one of the name partners of the firm. One of the wealthiest, most powerful people in the city of Chicago. You met his son Daniel tonight. The one who called me a little bitch.”

Tendons stretch and release in Pero’s neck as he grinds his teeth.

“I won't bore you with the details of the case, but at one point Ryan and I came across evidence that would almost certainly lose us the case if the other side got to it. But we had to give it to them. We were legally obligated to give it to them. The partner instructed us to get rid of it instead, which is a crime in and of itself. Ryan was willing to do it.”

“And you?” Pero murmurs, already suspecting the answer.

“I leaked it to the opposing council. We lost the case. And we should have lost it. It’s good that we lost it. And my boss couldn’t outright discipline me for it, because then he’d have to admit that he’d directed us to break the law. I didn’t lose my job, but...” She takes a breath. “They made my life a living hell. The worst cases. The longest hours. I was set up to fail, assigned impossible tasks so that when I inevitably couldn’t complete them, they had a reason not to promote me. And Daniel, who worked at the firm by sheer virtue of his name, and who already got away with so much because of it, took it as an opportunity to target me with his sense of cruelty.”

“And Ryan?”

It’s been three years, and it’s still hard for her to talk about. It’s still hard for her to admit, still feels like maybe she did something wrong.

“He kept his head down. He’d be there for me in private, but was too scared of losing his own position to stand up for me in public. We were supposed to be a team. And instead - well, you saw him there tonight with Daniel. And I couldn’t just quit - as part of my contract with the firm, they were paying off the loans I’d taken out for law school. But in return, I had to work for them for at least five years, and if I left before then, I’d have to pay back the firm all the money they’d put towards the loans. I couldn’t afford it.”

She looks over at the house.

“And then Gran died. And in addition to the house, she left me just enough money that I could get out of there. I could pay the firm back. Suddenly, I was free. And I knew I couldn’t take Ryan with me. I didn’t want to take him with me. I left the firm, I left Chicago...I left him.”

Tessa Walsh, Pero thinks, is a remarkable woman.

“Such a man has no honor,” Pero growls. “Such a man is not worthy of you, Tessa.”

She gives him a slightly watery smile.

“I’m glad you were there tonight, Pero.”

“If any of them had so much as tried to lay a hand on you -”

“I know,” she says, reaching out to squeeze his hand again. “I know. Come on, let’s go inside, before we freeze out here.”

———

I’m glad you were there.

She’d been afraid of those men, and as he lies in bed that night, Pero still sees red when he thinks of how those men had made the bright, fierce woman that is Tessa tremble and retreat.

But then, he thinks, she’s never acted like that towards him.

She’s not afraid of him, Pero realizes, and it’s like a punch to the chest.

He glowers and grumbles and glares and is so much bigger than she is, but apart from the first time he woke up in her house, she’s never so much as flinched from him. In the face of his surliness she just smiles at him, a determined little ray of talkative, stubborn sunshine completely unfazed by any attempt of his to be intimidating.

It should annoy him. But instead, he thinks it might be wonderful.

He can’t remember the last time a woman looked at him without fear. He is a warrior, a mercenary, a hardened criminal. His demeanor is armor just as much as the leather and metal he wears. It protects him - with his lifestyle, it’s better if he never gets close, never lets anyone get too attached.

But Tessa...

Tessa doesn’t know Pero Tovar, sellsword, thief, murderer. Not really. She only knows the man who fell, literally, into her life one day who needed her help. Who doesn’t know how to navigate this strange new world, where so many of his skills have been obsolete for centuries.

Tessa, who is kind and giving and understanding when she has absolutely no reason to be. Who takes him out to a bar she picked because she thought he might like it. Who takes the time to explain things to him without making him feel stupid, to make him feel safe and comfortable in her life and her space, who makes him laugh and makes him feel like a different person. The sort of person who could let someone else in, who could be worthy of someone like her. The sort of person who could care for her, could protect her, could belong here -

He shakes himself out of it. It’s a dangerous road to wander down. His time here is limited, is finite. Better not to consider such fanciful possibilities at all.

———

The next morning, Pero finds Tessa up early, pouring over her planner that’s open on the countertop to a page dedicated to a series of lists and timelines color-coded in a frankly concerning number of hues.

“I need your help.” Her eyes burn with a renewed intensity, and Pero wonders if she’s going to just try and pretend like the encounter outside the bar last night never happened.

“I’ve been thinking; I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to do this year given the additional workload of my book, but if you’d be willing to help me with the prep, I think we might be able to actually pull off everything typically involved in a Walsh Thanksgiving after all.”

A ridiculous sense of pride bubbles up inside Pero’s chest at the idea that Tessa might need him for something, even if he doesn’t understand for what yet. He shoves it aside, and instead asks the first question that comes to mind.

“What is a thanksgiving?”

Chapter 5.

———————————————————————a/n: For those of you familiar with London’s geography, I know Hampstead is a little out of the way of the major universities, tourist sites, etc., but the pub I refer to at the beginning is a real place there that’s really that old called The Spaniard’s Inn, and with a name like that it was too tempting not to use here.

Tagging interested parties (some of you have explicitly asked to be tagged, while others just indicated they’re interested in reading where this story goes, so if you would not like to be directly tagged, please let me know!): @littlemisspascal @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @whataperfectwasteoftime @toomanystoriessolittletime @oonajaeadira @bunniesofsteel @jazzelsaur @ezrasbirdie @Kiizhikehn-cedar @hopeamarsu @iamskyereads @thosewickedlovelies @theredwritingwitch @cannedsoupsucks @xoxabs88xox @gypsydjarin @girlofchaos @misslolasworld @becauseismellgood @donnaa @sherala007 @grogusmum @dihra-vesa @graphiteprincessa @luxmundee @missredherring @elinedjarin @gingersnappe-9 @tintinn16 @alpaca-swimsuit @fan-of-encouragement @i-love-movies @the-feckless-wonder @feralhotmess @radiowallet @green-socks @brandyllyn @starlightmornings @sergeantbannerbarnes @lavxndr-lilies @gallowsjoker @menshipsandthesea @knittingqueen13 @mostclevermiss @bison-writes @quietpainter @thirstworldproblemss @ktmadden86 @mstgsmy

If you asked to be tagged in this story and I missed you, apologies! Please shoot me a message and I’ll put you on the list.

[baekhvuns]

Oh god he is a Superman look alike in that movie, you're right 😭

Yes, a girl was bleeding, I had a cut and a bump <3 I still have a small scar and bump

Meghan's treatment is disgusting, obviously we don't know if everything is 100% true, but I wouldn't be surprised. Harry is talking about WHAT??? I do think it's a bit hard to separate himself completely from that bastards and some things should be said out loud, but maybe NOTHING ABOUT HIS GENITALIA pls Henryyyyyy. But he has a lot of tea on his bro, like 😵

Heeeey, maybe Pepe is normal irl, I doubt he fights people in a grocery store 😭

I'm a mummy at this point! I have another story with the same friend, we were on a swing together, swinging while standing which was dumb obviously and I was standing on the edge wearing flip flops... needless to say I fell cause he was swinging us too high 🔪 landed on my face and cut my lip I WAS BLEEDING LIKE HELL, thought I lost some teeth. I still had baby teeth so it wouldn't be a huuuugr issue but stil not nice. Thankfully my lip was just cut, but lips bleed heavily. Tune in for the next episode, I'm gonna reveal another story.

Lookass? When WayV had a whole ass comeback and he was totally ignored, naaaaah it can't be. If it's true then 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Omfg poor Ive tbh, people act like they have 0 talent, but if you're normal you know companies do this lipsync shit for no reason. But the attempt was not made there 😭

Actually My Way was the first time I acknowledged Seonghwa's voice without even knowing it was him! I really like when he sings "shwipjin anketjiman meomchul sun eopseo nan ouye" after Yunho's "grow up". Speaking of, the amount of lines Seonghwa has now vs during their debut GROWTH 👌🏻

??? That company said "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, you make me feel like eleven" where are the parents though, collect your child!!! Oh no I know BM's lyrics will be bad 🔫

Exactly the excuses for hair cutting are sickening 😡 I'm emvisioning a long hair comeback. Also @ Joong do something bestieeeee, black hair for that long? *Mingi's voice*: WHO ARE YOU. Honestly I'm not into under cuts, Hwa makes it work, but I prefer my man not bald </3 I know he likes it so I'm tolerating it

The Ugly Shoes unit, they need to make a song called "These Shoes Aren't Made For Walking"

The webtoon is called Operation True Love, idc I'm imagining Hwa, but sometimes the eyes scream Taehyung... but the other guy is called BAEK DO HWA 😭 Yes, long hair, blonde hair, I see, I click. Okay, but my mega brain just connected the dots I said the forehead guy from A Whirlwind Campus Affair reminds me a bit of Seojun. And his name is Seongjun... anyways why are men whose names start with Seo my weaknesses lmao 💀

Honestly so many 2nd gen song embody kpop perfectly, I miss that sound sometimes

The bandages are back and live on TV . I heard that the Inkigayo fits are gothic-like and Hwa has another amazing fit, can't wait to wake up and get killed by him!

Boxer just keeps coming back to wreck us 🥊

We need to survive the fan signs and concerts era again........🤡

I think it's because I answered the quiz thinking of my friends, so the result is??? Yours though... maybe we should switch 😭

Unfortunately there are a few white men I find (or found) attractive, but omg you're right Heath and Cillian. Maybe not as The Joker and Scarecrow, but...

Huh? Sounds too good to be true - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Oh god he is a Superman look alike in that movie, you're right 😭 //// Yes, a girl was bleeding, I had a cut and a bump <3 I still have a small scar and bump

RIGHT FBDBDB 😭😭😭 superman but now avatar too ???? im am so utterly fascinated by the way ur life unfolds, im so into this pls tell us more ur my inspiration for a yn right now

Meghan's treatment is disgusting, obviously we don't know if everything is 100% true, but I wouldn't be surprised. Harry is talking about WHAT??? I do think it's a bit hard to separate himself completely from that bastards and some things should be said out loud, but maybe NOTHING ABOUT HIS GENITALIA pls Henryyyyyy. But he has a lot of tea on his bro, like 😵 /// Heeeey, maybe Pepe is normal irl, I doubt he fights people in a grocery store 😭

i think both sides aren’t 100% innocent either so seeing everything is so 🔫🔫 selling ur family for 20mil damn, id be mad too,, yEAH HE IS 😭😭😭 DID NOT WANT TO KNOW WHY HE WAS FROSTBITTEN AT WILLIAMS WEDDING 😭😭 somethings should jUST STAY IN THE FAMILY <33 the tea on his brother made me laugh bc bro rly took down a ginger and half of it is harry being mad bc he’s the younger sibling LIKE UR YOUNGER UR SUPPOSED TO GET THE SMALLER SHARE FVREBD THATS SIBLINGS 😭😭 and this,,, sigh

me @ harry

LMFAOOOO i am convinced ramos and pepe’s future son-in-laws would be scared shitless <3

I'm a mummy at this point! I have another story with the same friend, we were on a swing together, swinging while standing which was dumb obviously and I was standing on the edge wearing flip flops... needless to say I fell cause he was swinging us too high 🔪 landed on my face and cut my lip I WAS BLEEDING LIKE HELL, thought I lost some teeth. I still had baby teeth so it wouldn't be a huuuugr issue but stil not nice. Thankfully my lip was just cut, but lips bleed heavily. Tune in for the next episode, I'm gonna reveal another story.

DHDHDHD I NEED U IN A MUSEM !!!!!

u what.

ANON???? DBWKDWK U AND THAT FRIEND ARE ALWAYS AT SIGHT FOR TROUBLE,,, WHAT GOES ON???? standing on the edge wearing flip flops,,,, what a smart person 🔫 tell me more pls <33

Lookass? When WayV had a whole ass comeback and he was totally ignored, naaaaah it can't be. If it's true then 🤡🤡🤡🤡 //// Omfg poor Ive tbh, people act like they have 0 talent, but if you're normal you know companies do this lipsync shit for no reason. But the attempt was not made there 😭

yEAAAAAH 😭😭😭 expected to come back now fbwndbsj how will that go 🧍🏻‍♀️ & i think they still have his pictures up on their accs so that’ll be fun to see,,, yEAH! ive and lesserafim too now,, no seriously like there’s multiple stages where they have sang live but i guess maybe the attempt was disoriented and the way this has 20mil reaches

Actually My Way was the first time I acknowledged Seonghwa's voice without even knowing it was him! I really like when he sings "shwipjin anketjiman meomchul sun eopseo nan ouye" after Yunho's "grow up". Speaking of, the amount of lines Seonghwa has now vs during their debut GROWTH 👌🏻

my way truly an underrated gem! NO UR RIGHT I DO TOO HIS VOICE SOUNDS SO GOOD WHEN HE SINGS THAT and then followed by san’s “row up row up row up, go faster!” 🤌🏻🤌🏻 masterpiece <3 THE GROWTH IN AMT OF LINES AND HIS VOCALS ARE SHINNING!!!

??? That company said "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, you make me feel like eleven" where are the parents though, collect your child!!! Oh no I know BM's lyrics will be bad 🔫 //// Exactly the excuses for hair cutting are sickening 😡 I'm emvisioning a long hair comeback. Also @ Joong do something bestieeeee, black hair for that long? *Mingi's voice*: WHO ARE YOU. Honestly I'm not into under cuts, Hwa makes it work, but I prefer my man not bald </3 I know he likes it so I'm tolerating it

LMFAOOOO GET OUT FBWKDHWKJCJCJC you make me feel eleven 😭😭😭 no seriously! sometimes i feel like parents just be sending their kids out to academies solely so they can become famous bc i know damn well 11yo’s be on the streets chasing each other or vaping instead of going on variety shows 🔫🔫

the excuse for hair is sickening but what is the excuse for this 😭😭😭 NO UR RIGHT HE’S HAD BLACK HAIR FOR SUSPICIOUSLY LONG and if he goes to blue for euro tour 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ JCBSNCK undercuts are hwa’s fboy look <3

The Ugly Shoes unit, they need to make a song called "These Shoes Aren't Made For Walking"

LMFAOOOO one of the lyrics be “i pay my dues, throw a couple million, come walk a day in my shoes” need this unit asap

The webtoon is called Operation True Love, idc I'm imagining Hwa, but sometimes the eyes scream Taehyung... but the other guy is called BAEK DO HWA 😭 Yes, long hair, blonde hair, I see, I click. Okay, but my mega brain just connected the dots I said the forehead guy from A Whirlwind Campus Affair reminds me a bit of Seojun. And his name is Seongjun... anyways why are men whose names start with Seo my weaknesses lmao 💀

oh my god…..that is kim taehyung omg

FBKWDHWK BAEK DO HWA?? THE BLONDIE IS BAEK DO HWA??? i see a black haired one in there too?? he’s awfully a lot like hwa but its a thv too at the same time 😭😭 i looked up the whirlwind guy again and wHYS HE WET IN A WHITE SHIRT GBWNBDWKHDWKB seo’s are ur weaknesses LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭

Honestly so many 2nd gen song embody kpop perfectly, I miss that sound sometimes /// The bandages are back and live on TV . I heard that the Inkigayo fits are gothic-like and Hwa has another amazing fit, can't wait to wake up and get killed by him!

the boys 🤚🏻 ultimate kpop song, but i am the best too! bring back those days of experimental music pls 😭 the whore is back whoring on live tv. and he?? BUT HIM????? I AM DECEASED. [rest.]

Boxer just keeps coming back to wreck us 🥊

We need to survive the fan signs and concerts era again........🤡 /// I think it's because I answered the quiz thinking of my friends, so the result is??? Yours though... maybe we should switch 😭

he really does and i might revive him <3 inkigayo didn’t even end and they already on them damn calls 😭😭 OH??? UHUH ANON, OFFERING EXPLANATIONS I SEE I SEE FBWKDHWKJCJC I WOULD NEVER IM ON THE SAME BOAT AS U <3

Unfortunately there are a few white men I find (or found) attractive, but omg you're right Heath and Cillian. Maybe not as The Joker and Scarecrow, but... //// Huh? Sounds too good to be true - DV 💖

i need u to lost them down bc im about to judge u on them, here’s my list, feel free to judge me <3 heath, cillian, matthew mcconaughey, alain delon, robert pattinson, damiano david! sometimes keanu reeves!

HOLDON SUGA X TAEYEON???? FUCK???? KAI AND YOUNHA?????? skz and paul kim? how’s that gonna work 😭😭😭

anon we won

a prince, a literal prince fuels my delulu again

[ssadumba55]

Break (Bernard the Elf x Reader)

Request: Ok I've been brainstorming an idea for Bernard and ok here's what I got ok Reader is Santa's introverted kid and them and Bernard are in an established relationship and he's like the reader's emotional support so they follow him everywhere like an introvert dragged to a party but they would totally back off if he told them to

A/N: @fo-babes I believe this was your request ;) just in time for the holiday season and some new Bernard content next week. Part 1 of your birthday one shots. No matter how retired I am on this blog, I'll always room to post for you. This blog brought us together and I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, you've kept me sane this year when nothing else would. Here's to another 19 years of life for you, hopefully that I'll be able to tag along for! I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. Also, yes you did make me that gif I used of Bernard. Thanks!

“Make sure the painting gets done before Santa gets back or he’s going to freak out. Nice work though!”

Bernard stood up straight from where he’d been bent over, assessing one of the many jobs that needed to be done in the workshop. Christmas was still, thankfully, a ways off. Just over 100 days to be exact, they had time to perfect every little thing before it came. He was in good spirits today. There was a lot of time to get things ready and Santa was out, visiting the Millers, leaving him to run the workshop on his own.

He loved having Santa around, but sometimes it was nice to have him gone so he could keep all the elves on task.

Another reason for his good mood was the lack of Curtis, the keeper of the handbook. Normally he was attached at Bernard’s hip, talking his ear off and giving him a splintering headache. Today, however, it seemed he decided his talents would be better used elsewhere. Bernard was grateful for that, he began to continue on his way.

In Curtis’ place, was you. Santa’s eldest child, you’d made the move to the Pole with him when he came to stay here full time. Your relationship with the Millers from what he understood was rocky, you rarely left the Pole with your dad to visit. The only way you would come was if Charlie, your little brother, specifically requested your presence.

He wished he understood why. Laura and Neil had been a little too much when he’d encountered them, but they were generally harmless. In his opinion, at least. Santa enjoyed spending time with the family so that had to account for something.

He wouldn’t pressure you to tell him, though. Some things were just better left unsaid.

When Santa was gone, you always hung around him, even if you hated being around the workshop. The alternatives were hanging out with the other elves or sitting at home with Carol, who you were still getting used to and neither were super appealing to you.

Bernard had noticed when you first arrived here that people (or elves) were not your thing. In the beginning, being around anyone but Santa and Charlie would immediately cause you to shut down. He had been determined to win over both the Calvin kids, and his persistence was eventually rewarded tenfold. The two of you ended up becoming close friends, then later a couple. Everyone was really surprised you warmed up to him, none moreso than your father.

He felt extremely blessed to be in the fortunate few who got to see the real you.

You huffed behind him as he walked to the next table. The long hours in the workshop were starting to get to you, he knew. But there was no way you were going to leave, unless he told you to and he wasn’t about to force you out of the comfort that being near him brought.

He did feel a little guilty though, this was probably very exhausting to endure and he wasn’t about to be finished any time soon.

He smiled apologetically back at you as he bent down to oversee the teddy bear fluffing.

While he offered his advice, your gaze wandered around you to the bustling around you to get work done. The amount of elves here made your head spin, back in the regular world being in a place like this would be something you avoided, of course, you had to date a guy… an elf… who worked in one of the busiest places in the world.

“... we can go somewhere quieter.”

You came back to your senses when you realized Bernard was talking to you, his hand gently went up to rest on your forehead. You leaned into the touch, bringing yourself back to reality as his concerned eyes searched your face.

“I’m fine, you have work to do. You can’t leave the workshop,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. Soon dad would be back and then you could spend more time with Carol without feeling awkward. You could make it until then, but Bernard didn’t seem convinced.

He set what he’d picked up from the work table in his other hand back down, patted the elf seated there on the back and turned back to you. Taking your hand, he pulled you along with him to the front doors of the workshop.

“Bernard, what are you doing- you have work and dad-”

Stepping out into the cool air where there were less loud noises and bustling immediately calmed you inside. You still felt tired from the long exposure but at least your senses weren’t being constantly inundated with new stimuli.

He pointed to the edge of the little North Pole village. “Do you remember when we grabbed cocoa and snuck out here while Santa was busy being distracted by a mess Curtis made? And you still wouldn’t talk to me so I did most of the talking?”

You did remember that day. Back in those days, Bernard often looked for moments to steal away with you. He had been so determined to spend time with you, it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest that you weren’t too keen on making friends. It had been a huge shock for you, so used to the people back in Lakeside. Back there, if you weren’t super extroverted and talkative you just kind of fell to the wayside.

You had never told him but you’d been super bummed that day, it was one of those rare days where you wondered if moving to the North Pole was a good idea. You missed your brother and weirdly, your mother and Neil. It had been a shock to find yourself missing them, considering you’d always been closer to your dad. During the divorce, you’d taken his side which had stung your mother. The relationship ever since had been rocky, but you knew she still wanted the best for you.

Sneaking out for cocoa with someone had been exactly what you had needed that day.

“Yeah. And dad found us hours later. He dragged you back to work, I’ve never seen him so annoyed with you,” you laughed as the two of you began a leisurely stroll. 

His cheeks turned slightly red, as he looked away. “Not one of my brighter moments, I’ll admit. I’ve never had a Santa lecture me like that in the thousands of years I’ve been working here.”

There was comfortable silence between the two of you for a few moments after that as you thought about what he’d said and wondered why he’d brought it up.

“The next time we talked, you spoke to me for the first time outside of forced, curt introductions. I was ecstatic, I think getting in trouble really broke the ice.”

“I felt bad for getting you in trouble. After all, you only suggested leaving because you noticed I was getting uncomfortable in the workshop. And dad shouting orders wasn’t really helping. I felt like I owed you something,” you kicked the snow, smiling, “you just did it again. Risked your spot, even though dad’s not here, to comfort me.”

He looked at you. “It was worth it then and it’s worth it now. You’re worth it, I mean.”

You nudged him with your shoulder, not knowing what to say. After all, everyone here knows Bernard is proud of his position as Santa’s Head Elf. To hear him say he’d risk it any time for you, is a little surprising.

The shock must’ve been apparent on your face because he suddenly stopped walking. At his side, you stopped yourself from walking forward abruptly not expecting the sudden stop. The stop made you lose your balance and he reached out to steady you, realizing that he should’ve warned you vocally before randomly deciding to stop.

“Are you surprised?”

“To hear you’d prioritize anything over work? Surprised is an understatement. I know I can be a little much, especially when dad’s not around-”

Bernard nudged you with his shoulder. “You’re not a little much. You just need time and patience, the best things in life do.”

Your face heated up at his words, it was hard sometimes to be the way you were. To struggle with speaking to people, to fight the urge to isolate yourself from everyone. You had always assumed that was a burden to everyone around you, even the ones who managed to crack your hard shell.

To hear Bernard speak as if it was just perfectly normal…

“We should go get cocoa! On me!” You broke the weird mood that had temporarily settled over the two of you and before he could say anything, began to pull him along in the direction of the nearest spot for cocoa. 

He let you drag him.

Sure, there were a lot of things about you that other people might find annoying but seeing you in moments like this made it all the worthwhile. He rushed to keep up with your pace, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he caught up with you, no longer needing to be dragged.

You smiled and he felt his heart skip a beat.

He needed to take breaks more often.

[hellofeanor]

Fëanorian Quenya

Hey friends! Do you like elves? Do you like the Silmarillion? Do you like Fëanor and co? And most of all, do you like spending hours thinking about minor details pertaining to made-up languages??? If so, boy do I have a treat for you! Let’s delve into the weird world of Fëanorian Quenya and explore some history and mechanics of why they talk Like That.

I’ve seen a lot of posts joking about the Fëanorian lisp, which is about as funny as a joke about a speech impediment can be. 👍 It’s important to understand, though, that this IS a joke. No, they didn’t really speak with a lisp. Yes, they did pronounce some S sounds as TH. That’s the critical disclaimer here: SOME. It’s not a blanket pronunciation. There’s a lot of background research that goes into determining which words would be pronounced with S and which would be TH, and that’s what we’re going to look at.

So if this is something you’ve come across in fandom and you’re not totally sure on the details, or if you ARE sure and just want some more in-depth info, read on.

The stuff probably everybody knows already

For anyone who’s been hanging around the Fëanorian corner of the Silm fandom for more than three minutes, there’s about a 100% chance you’ve heard of Fëanor’s penchant for retaining an archaic TH pronunciation after the majority of the Noldor went ahead and started pronouncing this sound as S instead. You may also know that this sound is represented by the letter thorn (Þ) in HoME, but since thorn doesn’t exist in modern English orthography and it’s a pain to keep typing the ALT code, I’m sticking to TH here. Anyway, all this was due to the fact that Fëanor was a huge mama’s boy, and his mom Míriel Therindë (later called Serindë, which made Fëanor want to punch walls and possibly also fellow elves) was an outlier who retained the TH after it fell out of use. Her son Fëanor, in turn, kept this up to honor her. Now, whether or not he would have bothered if this sound hadn’t literally been a critical part of her name is debatable, but that debate is outside the scope of this essay.

Fëanor continued to use the TH pronunciation until his death, and required his sons to use it as well. Finwë, however, switched over to S after the death of Míriel and before his marriage to Indis. Fëanor, reasonable and level-headed as he was, took this as a personal insult and decided that anybody who rejected TH likewise rejected him. So presumably, his loyal followers would have obeyed his totally reasonable demands not to give in to the seductive S-shift.

Why tho

Why did the Noldor decide to alter their pronunciation from TH to S? Great question. Nobody really knows. For the hell of it? IDK. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But the important thing to understand is that elves, and especially Noldor, were really committed to making sure their language sounds cool. This is why it changed so much and so comparatively quickly for an immortal population: they were actively invested in changing it. They liked inventing new words and exploring new sounds and messing around with grammar.

So at some point some influential Noldo might have been like, hey y’all, let’s stop saying TH and say S instead! And everyone (except Míriel I guess, who was known for her elegant manner of speech and didn’t want to muck that up by changing pronunciation of a whole letter) was like, whoa, capital idea my good egg. And they went with it. Previous ideas along these lines included ‘hey y’all, let’s stop saying KH and say H instead’ and ‘hey y’all, let’s stop saying Z and say R instead’, and those went over swimmingly. Nobody could have foreseen the problem this TH to S business would cause.

Now here’s a fun fact. There was another change to Noldorin pronunciation that happened AFTER Fëanor’s birth, that he himself was involved in. This one was all about bilabial to labiodental F. And those sure are some words, so if you don’t know what I’m talking about (I don’t blame you), BILABIAL is a more whispery sound that happens when you say F using only air passing through your pursed lips, and LABIODENTAL is when you say F with your top teeth touching your bottom lip. Going forward I’m going to use PH to represent the bilabial sound, and F for the labiodental.

So F got on the radar of the Noldor via the Teleri, who used this sound in their language. And ol’ Fëanor figured it would be awesome to incorporate it into Quenya because he thought the PH sounded too close to HW, and the two were getting confused by lazy speakers. Why did he care? Because of his dad’s name and his own, of course. If people started to get lazy in their pronunciation, we’d end up with Hwinwë and Hwëanáro, which would be terrible and stupid and unacceptable. He accused the Vanyar of leaning down that road, and he wanted to stop that kind of shift before it happened to the Noldor. How to do that? Why, by instigating a different shift from traditional Noldorin PH to Telerin F!

“Hey y’all, let’s stop saying PH and say F instead!”

“Whoa, capital idea my good egg.”

Moral of the story: Fëanor is only concerned with Quenya pronunciation insofar as it affects his own name and the names of family members he likes. He does not care whether it’s staying the same or moving to a new sound so long as it personally makes him feel good and his name sound cool. Therefore the true way to piss him off would be to call him Curuhwinwë Hwëanáro, son of Serindë.

Okay so here’s how it works

Now that history is out of the way, let’s get back to how TH was used by the Fëanorians. As I mentioned earlier, TH wasn’t a blanket pronunciation. It all depended on the original form of the word, and whether the root had a TH or an S. And some very similar-sounding words come from different roots, so this can get tricky. A great resource that’ll give you this information is Eldamo: Quenya words where the S was originally TH are marked out with the Þ (thorn) symbol in the wordlist.

Some examples:

Súlë (spirit, breath) comes from the root THŪ, which means it would be pronounced with a TH. Silma (white crystal) comes from the root SIL, so it and related words like Silmaril would be pronounced with an S. No Fëanorian would say Thilmaril. Isil (moon), however, is a similar-sounding word that comes from a different root: THIL. Olos (mass of flowers) comes from the word LOTH, but: Olos (dream) comes from the root LOS. Fëanorian pronunciation would immediately differentiate between these two words.

While Fëanorians may have retained the distinct pronunciation of TH vs S, other Noldor can still differentiate between original S and S-that-used-to-be-TH in their writing. There are specific tengwar to use depending on the word’s original form. Silmë (the one that looks like a 6) is used for original S, while súlë (or thúlë, the one that looks like an h) is used for original TH.

Which other elves used this sound in their speech?

Fandom has really latched on to this TH as a Fëanorian thing, but it wasn’t that exclusively. The TH sound was actually ubiquitous in other elven languages, and in Valinor, only the Noldor dropped it. It was still used in Telerin and in Vanyarin Quendya. The Vanyar retained the TH not because of anything to do with Míriel, but just because they were a little more conservative and their language didn’t pick up on all the changes that the Noldor made. They also noped out of the Z to R shift the Noldor initiated, opting to keep the Z around.

When Indis married Finwë, she stopped using the normal Vanyarin TH and switched over to S as a gesture of loyalty to him and his people. Finarfin, however, out of love for the Vanyar and Teleri, switched BACK to TH. I like to think about how much it would have annoyed Fëanor that his snot-nosed kid brother was speaking correctly, but for the wrong reason. Go down one more generation, and Galadriel very specifically did not use TH. But this time it was absolutely a choice made as a glaring middle finger to Fëanor.

What this means for your fanfic or whatever

The big takeaway here: you can’t just have Fëanorians replace every S with TH and call it a day.

If you’re inventing names for your Fëanorian OCs or coming up with phrases for them to say, it’s important to look into the history of all Quenya S-words you end up using to determine if they should be S or TH. If Fëanor got mad about somebody saying Serindë instead of Therindë, he’d get equally mad about somebody saying Thilmaril instead of Silmaril and assume they were mocking him. Remember: this is a dude with no chill. (On the other hand, if you WANT somebody to be mocking Fëanor, Galadriel would 100% do this because she has an equally negligible amount of chill.)

It’s also important to note that the TH isn’t a true shibboleth, since pretty much all elves EXCEPT the non-Fëanorian Noldor use it. And even the S-preferring Noldor would still be able to pronounce the TH. Those who went into exile would go on to use it commonly in Sindarin, and those who remained in Valinor would still encounter it among the Vanyar and Teleri. So if you’re writing a scene where somebody has to pronounce a TH word to prove their loyalty… yeah, everyone can pass this test. And in the opposite direction, you can’t use TH to prove somebody’s an evil Fëanorian, either. They might just be Vanyarin or something. Or, like. Really Old.

Would the sons (and followers) of Fëanor keep using TH after his death? Oh hell yeah. This is an entire family unfamiliar with the concept of not dying on hills. They will keep using it unto the ending of the world. Actually, with Sindarin becoming the common language of Middle-earth from the First Age, probably not a lot of change happened in exilic Quenya. It became a lore language: a piece of living history. It would have been preserved as it was when the original speakers left Valinor.

(And then, thousands of years later, Galadriel finally returns home to Tirion like, Long have mine eyes awaited this most blissful of sights, and ne’er hath my sprit soared with such grace, for I am returned! And all the Amanyar Noldor stare at her like, whatchu bangin on bout, eh? Because they had nothing better to do in the peace of Valinor than push Quenya to brave and frankly questionable new horizons.)

Anyway, there you go: a somewhat brief history of Fëanorian Quenya. I hope you found this informative and useful, or at the very least not boring. Obvs this is super condensed and, uh, not particularly scholarly, but I promise I know what I’m talking about. I have a university degree! (Not in anything even remotely related to what’s written above, but I hardly see how that’s relevant. It’s still a DEGREE.)

Questions? Need clarification or want more info? My asks are always open!

[redfurrycat]

They could have a wall at home dedicated to "embarrassing" [softly embarrassing] pictures, and the Mav and Bradley pinching each other's cheeks is the latest one. Taken by Ice. =D

Name of their conversation: Mission Impossible - SurprICEing the Berg. [Slider is also a part of the group. I'd say the whole 86 flyboys but then I'd fear for the secrecy of the conversation. So only Slider. And then another group conversation with all the flyboys!]

The dog tags and pic make me really emotional... :'( Bradley is always going to be Baby Goose. Always.

Bradley on his lap helping Ice doing crosswords and sudoku games meanwhile Ice half-hugs Bradley, head resting on his Gooseflake [I'm testing other nicknames...]. Mav took a picture!

Nat adopted Ice and Mav as her parents! YES. So maybe Nat and Bradley have known each other for a really long time..... Or maybe Nat is a foster kid that REALLY ends up being adopted by Ice and Mav? And I'm sucker for Rooster and Phoenix the BFFs and brother/sister and platonic soulmates dynamic!!! Also, they have a special activity they like to do all four of them...I don't know what yet.

JAKE MAN CRUSHING ON ICEMAN! 100% approuved!

Possible story behind his callsign. Fanboy Jake Seresin was hung on Iceman's every word [Let's say he gave different speeches to young teens who wish to go to the Navy/young recruits at the academy/...] and used to shush everyone talking at the same time as Ice?

Imagine if he has a copy of the COMPACFLT portrait? XD I don't know how he would have got one though...Mav is involved maybe?

Jake peacocking minutes before meeting Bradley's parents - "I'm a delight of course they're going to love me Bradley-poo"- and then saw the COMPACFLT trying to shake hands with him. [THE. COMPACFLT. IS. TRYING. TO. SHAKE. MY. HAND. WHY. IS. THE. COMPACFLT. HERE. IS MY HAIR OK. SHIT. MY HAND IS SWEATING. OR. SHOULD. I. SALUTE. HIM. BRADLEY? BRADLEY! HELP. ME!] Jake's brain can't compute the fact that he's meeting his hero. XD [I ship Hangster....a totally normal amount...huh-huh]

Another wall at their home is dedicated to the Daggers too!

au in which Carole dying doesn't mean she loses her sharpness and knows his chickens, Mav in particular, too well. So she writes a long, nice letter to the future eighteen Bradley about why Maverick is going to do what he's going to do. She writes "I know you're angry with him but baby, he just did what I asked" and "Mav is your family and you haven't much of that now, so watch carefully what comes out of your mouth, boy". And Carole leaves it with her lawyer because she knows Mav. The letters arrives a day before the Navy's letter.

(Bradley is still going to find his way out of Mav and Ice's house, screaming he hates him so much and that they ruined his life. But Bradley finds his way back home a week later, Carole's letter between his hands and too many questions only they can give him.)

[attemptinghaikyuu]

Joking About Dating A Friend But They Take You Seriously

A/n: woohoo, we’re doing another one babbyyy! I’ll never get tired of these sorts of situations honestly <3

G/n reader

Team Captains (most of them~)

Kuroo Tetsurou

He was walking behind you, about to tap your shoulder, witty conversation starter at the tip of his tongue one he totally hadn’t prepared a day beforehand, only to be hit with you saying “Wow, look at you! A fantastic boyfriend i have indeed.”

Reals back, all thoughts flying out of his head

All internal excitement dissipates as panic and dread take its place

You had introduced Kuroo to the guy you were calling your boyfriend, saying you were only friends and yet…

How come he didn’t know? Him and you were close to each other, right? Had he been so deep into your smiles and pretty eyes that he had misread everything? Maybe he had made up the little signs that meant you felt the same

It was probably his feelings making him a lovesick fool

That thought stuck with him the most because that made him pretty delusional if he got everything this mixed up

He has so many questions rattling in his brain, pinning him down, that he doesn’t realize you’ve turned around and are staring at him

It takes your hand waving back and forth in front of him to startle him out of his trance

His panic doubles, voice strained

“Ahh, hey there kitten. What’s new?”

It’s missing his usual excitement and he sounds strangled, you notice right away that he’s also turned away from you

“Tets are you all good? Are you sick, I could get you some medicine if you aren’t feeling well?”

“What no, I’m not- you don’t have to do any of that, I’m better than I could ever be.” He chuckles and he knows he’s not being convincing in the slightest

“Huh, I’ll get the truth out of you in a sec, I’m gonna say bye to my friend and then we can go, okay?”

“Don’t you mean boyfriend.” It comes out before he can stop himself

The bitter tone is so obvious he’s tempted to bolt, maybe start over as a circus clown

He’s positive he could pull that wig off

Your voice is laced with laughter when you ask if he really does need to go see a doctor

“And what boyfriend?” You pause, smile growing. “Are you talking about yourself or what?”

Now he’s flustered and confused. It’s not like you didn’t talk like that with him but you had a boyfriend now didn’t you or was that..?

“WAIT EARLIER YOU-

He takes a deep breath, he could be wrong, he needs to stay calm

“We’re, we’re you just kidding around when you said your friend was, well ya know?”

You laugh again and explain, slightly embarrassed by the mishap, that yes you were kidding around

He feels all of his confidence come back and asks the question that leads to you two finally dating

“If that’s the case and the spot really isn’t taken, how about I become your boyfriend?”

Bokuto Koutaro

He. Is. Crushed.

Everyone around him can feel the tense atmosphere and looking at his face is like a punch to the gut with his heartbroken eyes, he’s staring at you like you’ve died instead of said you loved your girlfriend

All bokuto had wanted was to give you a quick hug before he headed off to practice

Instead he has to deal with the weight of knowing you’re with someone else, that and the realization that he needs to put away his own feelings so he doesn’t ruin your relationship with the person you love

He had known he liked you for quite awhile, it was hard figuring out a time he should confess or whether that would make you uncomfortable

He’s glad he never tried anything since it saved him from the possibility of making things hard for you, seeing as how you would’ve had to let your friend down

Bokuto looks at you closely, there’s a grin on your face as you stare at her and if you’re happy then he can live with this

That’s what he firmly thinks

And so pulling himself up with a smile, he walks over to you with a solidly convincing amount of energy

He talks excitedly and almost exactly like he would normally

What he’s saying doesn’t sit right with you though

His words are depressing and he looks like he’s forcing himself to talk like this

You stop him in the middle of a joke, that wasn’t all that funny with the sad way it was being told, and ask if he’s okay

His smile gets even bigger, and now you can see it’s clearly fake as he gives you some excuse about training being harder on him lately

You decide to wait and give him a little space, you assume he’ll walk off to volleyball practice, and later you’ll be able to talk with him about whatever’s going on

When he keeps talking and it becomes clear he’s not moving, stalling for time, you ask if you can talk alone with him

“Bo, is um, did something happen? You’re upset aren’t you?” You question him cautiously

“Nope! I’m just glad I get to talk with you, it’s not something I’ll be able to do as often since you have to spend time with your girlfriend and all!”

His smile finally slips as what he said hits you both

You’re quick in explaining the mistake now that you know what’s eating away at him

He can’t believe his luck when he hears you say it was just a joke, it’s too good to be true

But he doesn’t care, he’s just happy

Doesn’t even let himself process it all before he’s asking you to please, think about dating him

You’re both glad his smile is back to normal when you say you’d love to

Kita Shinsuke

Keeps it together like the seemingly impassive and parent friend that he is

Hurts so much more then he wants to admit

Doesn’t want to believe what he just heard but if you say that you have a partner, than those are the facts and he can’t change anything

But shit, does he wish he could

He’s standing right next to you, a step away and if he took it you would be pressed against his side

That’s an impossible reality, a fantasy he needs to put to rest now that he knows your feelings for someone else

That step however, is ungraciously closed when you trip backward from what appears to be your partner moving their foot as you had moved forward, resulting in you falling onto Kita

Instantly flustered by it and is feeling so betrayed by his body when he automatically puts an arm around you to keep you upright

He tries to be respectful as he removes himself from your side, it isn’t right for him to be that close to you, he’ll just have to push down the disappointment he feels from the lack of contact

“Kita-kun! I’m really sorry about that, my friend” you give a pointed glare towards the person of your affection. “accidentally knocked me into you.”

He gives a small smile at you, slightly unsure as to why you would address your partner as just your friend

If he’s being truthful, he doesn’t want to think about it anymore and that’s why he allows himself to shrug off the strange event

He acts like he always does in the next couple days, though the aggressive lilt in his voice that appears at any mistake he spots, gives away his frustration

His feelings are boiling over the surface and he realizes he needs to find a way to get over this

The best way to do that, he concludes, is to tell you his feelings so he can take the rejection and move on

A resolution that he puts into motion the next time he’s with you

He does it simply and tries to make it as small and meaningless as possible

“Thanks for listening to this, I know it must be difficult to deal with.”

You’re speechless and Kita wishes this could be easier but he steels himself for what’s about to come next

“I- Kita, I know you’re not and I apologize in advance, but are you a dumbass?” You’re expression is both mortified and happy and he really doesn’t know what’s happening

“I like you. I was messing around with my friend and I promise you, I will never be doing that again.”

Oh, Kita is so relieved and the first thing he does when you become official is pull you in for a hug

And he’s gonna keep pulling you in for hugs :3

Ushijima Wakatoshi

His surprise is on full display and he ends up staring at you so intensely you automatically come up to ask him what was wrong

Isn’t sure how to put into words how he feels at the moment

You are your own person, so he shouldn’t feel any right to being the one to call you his partner

Yet he can’t stop the disappointment from filling every part of him

Ushijima wants to be mature about this though, If you think that girl is good enough for you then he will live with the heartache

So he shakes his head and comes up with a small excuse for his behavior

He seems normal to most in the following week, quite and stoic, more silent around you than he’s probably ever been but nothing really out of place per say

However his annoyance with your girlfriend only grows when he sees that you are not being treated how most would in a romantic relationship

He’s had enough when he hears her tell you about this pretty girl she saw the other day

She’s all casual and smiles when she says it too

Walks over, taps your shoulder, and asks if you can talk in private

It wasn’t right and he was 100% calm when he explained why he thought you weren’t being treated right

And he definitely wasn’t a little jealous and using the way your girlfriend was acting as a way to see if he could prove he could treat you better

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t being completely rational when he was making his points as to why you should maybe, just possibly reconsider the whole dating your girlfriend thing

But the fact that she hadn’t held your hand was very important and he needed you to know that

He needed you to know that you shouldn’t have to listen to the one you cared for like that, speak of another person they found good looking, especially when the most attractive one was you

Ushijima doesn’t know how to take your silence when he finishes, and you seem… embarrassed?

Had he gone too far? Over stepped a boundary in his jealousy?

He was considering an apology for his rash behavior when you spoke up, though it was more appropriate to call it spoke down with the way you had your head lowered and voice quiet

“Toshi, did you mean all that?”

He’s not sure where this is going, he responds honestly regardless

“Yes, I meant it and I’m sorry if I insulted you.” He doesn’t apologize for insulting your girlfriend tho~

“Then you should probably know that I was only playing around when I said I was dating my friend. We’re not together.” You finally look into his eyes. “I’m pretty single and uh, if you really wanna help me in my dating problems you could date me, that’d fix them all.”

The slightest blush appears on his cheeks and when he reply’s with his yes, it’s almost like a happy sigh

He makes sure to show you how much he loves you everyday, he’s also still slightly bitter around your friend <3

Terushima Yuuji

Freaking out

He is having a hardcore internal screaming sesh

Walks away from you so he can pretend he didn’t just hear that

Also wants to make sure you don’t see him panicking

He finds a place where he’s alone, a field outside the gym he had been in, that is till he’d heard you talk to your boyfriend

Who was apparently, very entertaining if the way you had been laughing was any indication

Stands there, blank for a few seconds

Is so set on not crying over something like this because he knows that you’re amazing and shouldn’t be so surprised over you dating some other dude

He should go back inside and act like he always does, or maybe not since you are with your boyfriend

He’s being stupid, acting this overworked

It’s what he tells himself but he can feel a couple tears slip down his cheeks and there’s a sob bubbling up in his chest against his will

This didn’t feel fair

He wants to do something, he just doesn’t know what

Pretending he’s fine would be a good option if he could stop crying

It’s not looking feasible at the moment however

Takes a shaky breath and is coming to the decision he should leave you alone for now when he hears his name

Someone’s calling him, someone who absolutely cannot see him right now

He starts sprinting, but the thing about crying is that it’s pretty exhausting and before he knows it he’s gasping for breath, too slow to move out of your reach

“Terushima! Why would you-

You stare at his tear stained face, concern pulling your features into a deep frown and he desperately wishes he wasn’t the cause of it

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask the question softly, making it all hurt a little more

His eyes are closed when he replies. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty head with.”

“Whatever it is I won’t judge and if you want advice or someone to just listen I’m listening.”

“You, it’s really not..” he breaks. “Are you really with that guy?”

It’s none of his business, why’d he have to ask that?

Understanding lights up your face, and with the new information having connected the dots you move closer to him

“I’m not. He and I were joking, so please don’t cry.” He feels a hand wipe a stray tear from his face

“Would you maybe wanna go out sometime,” you laugh a little. “I hope I didn’t completely misread this, if I did I suppose we’d be matching.. and I wouldn’t mind so much if that was the case.”

He answers by grabbing your hand.

“That answer shouldn’t have been so cute, I’ll forgive you by taking you up on that date though.”