#I love gabby so much hes my free therapy

[spinningchipfreak]

I have no idea if i showed you him but here have cardboard silly guy :]

[ripslingerfan13]

Since @cartoonicle was so awesome to draw Gabby for me I feel like I should explain more of her story… or more so her dad’s story.

Ok so here it is…

Wow I’ve never thought I’d connect so much to a single fan’s au I might even make a few short stories based on my AU of Cartoonical’s au?🤭

Now the only difference is that this version is an alternate timeline created when the creator’s original Blaine got caught in the backfire of one of Mariana’s practice spell. Spending him back in time (unspecified but near the invasion arc)

Wanting to set things right and make amends for his past mistakes tracks down his younger self to warn him of what his future is to be if he continues with Father’s plan, hoping and praying that his younger self will make the right decision. Though hesitant at first fear preventing him from heeding his future self’s warning…at the last second realizing that he does not want to suffer the same fate, assists Frederick in rescuing Gwen and taking down their father…

With lots of time and many apologies, relationships are mended, wounds healed, and in good time Maria even agreed to give Blaine a second chance, but only after he agreed to her terms which involved only 2 things. The first was that he’d give her the time and space she needed to process and heal from the whole experience, And the second was that in the duration of that time Blaine had to agree to not just prove that she can trust him again but to help himself as well. Which meant only one thing,,, therapy. And if she liked what saw then and only then will she give him a second chance…

Well it was a long and difficult battle, there were many panic attacks, thoughts of giving up and feeling it was hopeless… But the end was all worth it, though the anxiety attacks and that small bit of fear of being unloved still lingered, Blaine now had the strength and support to get through it all… and change his future for the better.

Blaine and Maria were the last of their siblings to be wed and now have a beautiful baby girl who they named Gabriella.

But despite finally being free from his father and getting the help he needed, his father’s actions still had an effect on Blaine’s life. And it had to do with his parenting style. Not wanted his daughter to ever feel the pain, insecurities, stress, let alone the fear of being unloved. Blaine made a promise to himself and his daughter that he would do anything and everything he can to make certain his daughter feels loved, cherished and important every second of everyday.

Why is this so bad you ask? Because Blaine has never once disciplined his daughter, letting her get away with anything and always giving her every single thing she asked for without a second thought. It got to a point where Maria was the only one disciplining and lecturing their daughter for her selfish action, not that it did much as Gabriella would just run straight to ‘Daddy’ who was very quick to take her side. Eventually Maria grew tired of this she knew this could not continue on for much longer before it was too late. The reason she never addressed this before was because she and pretty much everyone figured out very early on the real reason for Blaine’s own lack of disciplining his daughter…

And it was due to the fear of turning into his father.

There are people out there who believe that those who grew up in an abusive environment will eventually grow up to be abusive themselves… While ‘yes’ that has been the result in some cases. There is one scenario that is rarely ever brought up.

When growing up in such a hostile environment with violence being the only thing they’ve ever experienced in life will ‘sometimes’ grow up to be just as violent.

But… When you give them the love and kindness they’ve always longed for was always denied to them. You become the most important people their lives! And they will love and cherish you every second of everyday.

….

Now Blaine having a bit of an epiphany after the war becomes rather overprotective of his family and developed a bit of his own dark side. Refusing the crown and giving it to Frederick and sorta becomes his own personal bodyguard. Again much similar to Mariana becomes paranoid, always keeping an eye out for anyone who might hurt his baby brother… And he would also torment Leland whenever he had the time.😈

…

Gabby is the middle child, younger than Mari and Brandon by 2 to 3 years.

She and Marianna have a bit of a love hate relationship. They get along most of the time but often get into fights over petty little things. She does have a tiny bit of Mariana’s personality when it comes to protecting the family especially her dad who she loves with all her heart. And enjoys tormenting her Grandpa Leland when she gets bored. When she’s older she becomes a model and does a lot of traveling for fashion shows.

She still has a very strong bond with Mari and adapted a bit of Mari’s not so sane tactics but in her own unique way.

I already explained how Blaine spoiled her a lot when she was younger because just like Lance he was scared of becoming his father. Until Gabby’s own powers came out. Basically similar to Mari but she feels all emotions instead of just fear, so she was able to her father’s worries and insecurities and immediately felt bad. Then her mother explained her grandpa Leland to her Gabby started to change and not be such a brat anymore. And of course being able to feel everything she can also feel that lord David truly loves Mari for who she is and is constantly trying to get her cousin to see that.

Of yeah and she has a little crochet doll of her dad she got from her auntie Gwen!🥰

[theradicalace]

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

i see you talk about those funny kids from fnf (talk about lotsa characters itll be fun im interested)

"lotsa characters" you say 👀? alright, you asked for it /lh

this is gonna be decently long, cause it'll be a mix of headcanons (in bold) and other nonsense

so let's start with my personal favorite: pico (my beloved)!

-this orange haired man has rotted my brain entirely.

-oh my GOD i just want him to be happy

-canonically schizophrenic which i actually didn't know until now

-he's totally at least partially latino and can speak spanish change my mind

-he/it pico lives in my head rent free

-he can actually sing really well but usually doesn't around people

-secretly a massive theater kid but shh don't tell anyone he has a reputation to uphold

-taller than blake (bf), the same height as nene, NOT taller than gabby (gf) and darnell

-didn't formally graduate high school for obvious reasons but he did get his GED

-IN A HAPPY POLYAM RELATIONSHIP WITH BLAKE AND GABBY SHH THIS ONE'S CANON IN MY HEART

-they encouraged him to go to therapy

-learned sign language for blake the first time they dated

-taught sign language to gabby

-i think he's genuinely a very responsible gun owner. i normally don't like people who open carry in public but for some reason it doesn't bother me as much this time

-he canonically would have majored in computer science if he went to college i hate that he was robbed of the opportunity

-he goes back to college after he starts dating blake and gabby, at their encouragement

-he graduates top of his class

-he picks up ukelele as a hobby while he's in college because i think it suits him

-canonically wants to be a dj

-successfully becomes a dj as a side gig after graduation

-I SO DESPERATELY WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY

alright this post is gonna literally only be about pico if i don't stop so let's move on

the little beep bop man himself, boyfriend! (i call him blake):

-canonically bi we love that for him

-i know that his name has pretty much been confirmed to literally just be boyfriend but i refuse, i cannot call him that

-for some reason i seem to be the only one who wasn't surprised to find out he was 19

-a lot of people seem to think he was like 15?? i don't see it

-his concept art originally had bright pink hair what a king

-half japanese

-i accept the "miku is his sister" bit as canon it's just cool and fun okay

-the blue hair runs in the family

-he's CONFIRMED to be autistic and adhd i just found out i thought that was just a headcanon of mine but it turn out that i'm right as i always should be

-frequently nonverbal, communicates a lot with sign language

-japanese is his first language

-he learned spanish for pico bc it's pico's first language and LOOK im a sucker for "person learns their partner's first language for them"

-trans (but everyone knew i headcanoned this right? how could i not)

-he's actually the one who broke up with pico the first time around bc fuck those boring ass "pico breaks up with bf to keep him safe/bc he thinks he's not good enough/doesn't deserve him/whatever" hcs and fics, those are boring

-breaking up with pico was hard on him, but he did it because he recognized that pico was not ready for a relationship emotionally with regards to his trauma and everything, and staying would only hurt them both

-he was right, but that didn't make it any easier

-is him being a college dropout canon? i dont remember if that was canon or not

-i think his parents are probably not bad people, but they're the kind of parents who let work come before their kid. they were there, but not really THERE. trying to win him over with gifts and stuff when he just wants to spend time with him

-but they turn themselves around when he gets older and they realize "oh shit we actually weren't there for most of our son's life"

-it doesn't fix everything, obviously, but they put a sincere effort in and adult blake has a much better relationship with his parents than he did when he was younger

-hm maybe i'm projecting my own desires a bit with that last one haha what i didn't say anything

anyway

girlfriend! (i call her gabby):

-once again, it seems like a bunch of people thought she was younger than she is and i don't get it

-lost her SHIT when she found out that blake and miku are siblings

-she's a huge miku fan

-she tried to learn sign language on her own, but really struggled with it until she started getting lessons from pico

-she once dyed her hair blue to match with blake

-most people assume she's the fashionista of the poly trio, but she literally just wears her mom's clothes, shes not the fashionista

-she's also not the "brains of the relationship" like many people seem to think. that's just weird creepy language that i reject.

-SHE'S NOT MANIPULATING BLAKE FUCK OFF

-blake was her first partner, and she knows so little about being human, so when things got... let's say intimate for tumblr's sake, between them she needed a lot of guidance on what was good, what was painful, what walked the fine line inbetween, etc

-i mean, you should having those conversations and communication with your partner about intimacy regardless but especially when they're a demon who's never dated a human

-even outside of the bedroom, blake has taught her a lot about being human, and really helped her grow as a person

-it's growth she COULD have done by herself, sure, but it's a lot easier and faster when someone's helping you through it

-SHE IS ALSO CONFIRMED AUTISTIC AND ADHD EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU PHANTOMARCADE

-her parents homeschooled her

SPEAKING of her parents

the dearests! (i don't have names for them lol):

-lumping them together because i really only have one thing for them and that's that

-they're really not bad people either. they love their daughter to bits, and if they had someone to guide and teach them the way blake did to gabby, they would absolutely come around. they honestly think they're doing what's best for her. obviously this doesn't make it RIGHT, but they do say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

okay moving on

the spooky kids, skid and pump!:

-i'll be real i don't know much about them or their source material

-i just think they're cute

-they stay on good terms with blake and gabby after their appearance in week 2

anyway

senpai, our favorite slender bishonen ;) (i call him seth!):

-HE'S NOT DEAD FUCK YOU

-canonically an entirely different character from spirit, which is good, because idk fuck all abt spirit

-i want him out of that video game right now

-when i tell you this guy gives me such "gay and homophobic" vibes...

-he's also trans

-i accept "monika is his sister" as canon in my heart

and rounding off with...

tankman!:

-i dont know anything about tankman. literally zero.

-HOWEVER.

-he has this line of dialogue

-which implies that he either dyes his hair or at least used to, and has gotten hair dye in his eyes

-i love that for him

-also he's canonically asexual. king.

-like yeah the tweet that confirms it is a little bit mocking but confirmed representation is confirmed representation.

-okay i like tankdad a little bit

-i saw a really good tankdad fic with him apologizing to pico about the school shooting comment because that was genuinely fucked up

-look i just want pico to have a father figure of some sort because his actual (unnamed) father is implied to be a shitty dude who doesnt love him and

-dammit, i'm talking about pico again

-i went back like 6 times to add more stuff to the pico part of this post and now i can't even keep it contained to one section

[nuttycreationwitch]

Hi, I’m feelin extra good today and thought I would do two headcanons. So I was going to do the reunion with our girl Caz and Stefan, but I also said I’d do one about just Caz; her looks, her personality, her journey and stuff like her style or how she does her makeup.  Let’s gEt intO it. < if you know you know. 

-So I talked about Caz’s appearance in my first post for this series, so go check that out, but she’s basically just very beautiful 

-But she’s also alt

-We love a good alt girl  

-Especially one who writes poetry

 -Gabby Hannah who?

-But like good poetry 

-If you like poetry search Olivia Gatewood, I love her stuff

-Especially this one here  

-Or Blythe Bard

-Anyway, back on topic, I might post some pics with fashion references at some point but for now we talk personality

-I’ve said a bit about her personality already but i wanted to more

-Because I looooove Caz with all my heart 

-First off, watch these 1 2 3 4, these are some characters that have similar personality traits to Caz. I know not everybody has seen these shows so I thought I would include these for reference. But please don’t take anything but the personality from these, Caz is her own character, these characters are just similar to her.  

-45% Fallon Carrington, 30% Spencer Hastings, 15% Lorelai Gilmore, 10% Santana Lopez

-She is sarcastic, stubborn, thick skinned, blunt, sharply intelligent, competent, charismatic, quick witted, guarded, bold, brave, petty, fast-talking, rebellious, laid back, opinionated, wild, edgy, adventurous, and confident with people she doesn’t know well or doesn’t trust.

-But she’s kind, complicated, funny, carefree, bold, charismatic, quick witted, selfless, bold, brave, fast-talking, rebellious, laid back, adventurous, confident, intelligent, opinionated, and loving with the people she cares about. 

-And I know this has been mentioned before but this girl is literally so smart

 -I just wanted to stress that

-But she’s also very emotional, behind closed doors of course. 

-She lost her brothers, who she loved more than life itself, and that really broke her.

-she actually has a mental list of things she won’t do in front of people:               *cry                                                                                                                       *talk about her trauma                                                                                         *feed [because she still doesn’t feel right killing living things]                               *talk about her mental illnesses

-I AM QUEEN OF SEGWAYS, BOW TO ME

-Jokes aside, mental illness [I have or have had most of the illness mentioned and feel there should be more representation for them, but trigger warning: eating disorders, ptsd, depression, anxiety.]

-Mental health became much more accessible around the 2000s, and Caz decided that she should see a physiologist.

-Just in case

-She thought she might have depression and wanted to get diagnosed

-But oh boy

-It was much more than that 

-The physiologist told her to come in again and they’d run some mental tests 

-After weeks of testing and stressing about the testing Caz found out she was bipolar

-Along with having panic disorder, ptsd, adhd, anxiety, and highly functioning depression

-She was shocked

-The doctor gave her pills but they did next to nothing because she’s a vampire

-And she couldn’t really get therapy, because she can’t tell a normy about the things that a lot of her illnesses stemmed from

-She felt kind of....dirty?

-Like she’d lived with these things but now that she’s diagnosed she doesn’t know what to do

-And she feels selfish that she shut people out for so long 

-And she feels selfish that she is making a big deal about this 

-But it is a big deal, and it’s so fresh and new [if you ever need support or someone to vent too, my pm’s are open. Judgment free.]

-Caz honestly just feels so lost

-Rebekah disappeared, Damon’s chasing girls, and she’s just aimlessly traveling

-So she starts publishing her poetry

-Anonymously of course

-Because god forbid someone knows we have feelings 

-It’s actually because she’s like, y’know, immortal 

-And she can’t really have a well known public identity

-So she’s finding herself a lil

-Happy girl at last

-And she gets a call from Damon

-’Stefan’s in mystic falls again’ Really? tell me more’ I’ve given you all the information I have. But I thought we could have a little family reunion with our baby brother. He doesn’t know your not dead yet, but he’s always liked surprises.” 

-And Caz is like ‘Hell yeah!’

-Because she’s always wanted to be with Stefan again, but she could never track him down

-Or she was distracted

-Or depressed

-There was always something in the way, but now she’s gonna see him again

-And she could not be more exited

-But first she’s gonna make a detour

-In Louisiana  

[thecomicsnexus]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #57-62 (FINAL ISSUE) MARCH - AUGUST 1993 BY KEVIN EASTMAN, PETER LAIRD, JIM LAWSON, KEITH AIKEN, JASON TEMUJIN MINOR AND ERIC TALBOT

SYNOPSIS (FROM TURTLEPEDIA)

Mike, Don and Raph are on the rooftops overlooking some buildings. Don uses a payphone to contact Karai and is given a rendezvous point. Raph wonders if it's a trap, but Mike thinks that they can trust Karai.

"What choice do we have?" he muses.

Leonardo is bound at the feet of Karai and a cadre of Foot Soldiers in an abandoned warehouse. Karai orders her henchmen away and she cuts Leo's ropes, freeing him.

Just then the other three Turtles arrive. Karai explains that she is the leader of the Foot in Japan and that she's come to New York to restore order. Ever since Leo killed the Shredder (TMNT #21), the Foot faction in NYC has been in chaos, with different groups warring with one another for ultimate control... save for Shredder's Elite, who have been carrying out seemingly motiveless attacks on the other factions. Karai offers the TMNT a deal, if the Turtles kill the Elite and remove this unpredictable thorn from her side, she will offer them a truce with the Foot Clan.

Raph is angry and unwilling to partner with Karai, but she tells them to think about it and leaves.

By now, Gabby is quite pregnant. Casey is working in the diner with her and the two are thinking about moving out of their trailer and renting a house, since the baby will arrive soon and they'll need more space.

April and Robyn O'Neil attend their father's funeral. April tells Robyn that she's moving back to New York, as it's time for her to stop running from her problems and deal with them.

Master Splinter is beset upon by a monstrous Rat King, now in the guise of a huge, bipedal rat. Rat King commands Splinter to bow to his rule, but the Sensei refuses... causing the giant rat-beast to attack, screaming "You shall DIE!!!"

Splinter wakes from the dream, screaming himself. He quickly grabs a nearby rat and eats it.

"Yesss... good..." the Rat King observes, "Be happy little man-rat... rejoice! For with this step... the shattering of this taboo... your path is clear - your destiny... manifest!"

Meanwhile, we see a Foot Soldier near the destroyed water tower the Turtles had been living in. He is ambushed and killed by two Elite.

The pair then kick down the door of the room that was being used to spy on the Turtles and kill the remaining Foot Soldier.

The old man is in the hospital, getting physical therapy on his leg.

The Elite examine some photos of the TMNT, and realize that they've arrived too late. The leader crumples the picture and the deadly duo depart.

Casey dreams that he's walking with Gabby, when a monstrous version of himself shows up wearing the trademark hockey mask. Casey's evil twin knocks him out with a swing of a golf club and carries Gabby off to his waiting Chevy and speeds away. Casey stands up and notices a woman crying on a bench, as he walks over to comfort who he thinks is Gabby, he discovers that it's April.

Casey awakes from the dream in a doctor's waiting room. The physician asks Jones to step into his office, and promptly tells Casey that Gabby has died due to complications during childbirth.

"It's a small comfort, I know," the doc explains as Casey stares in shock, "But I was with her in those final moments and she looked quite at peace. The baby... we want to keep her in the maternity ward for a few extra days... just to be on the safe side. It's never easy losing loved ones, Mr. Jones. However... you have a little daughter now... and she needs you."

With that, the surgeon exits the office and Casey is left to himself, utterly dejected.

The TMNT are debating whether or not they should help Karai and ally themselves with the Foot Clan. Raphael is still against the idea, but Leonardo wants to finish this business, move on from their current path and stop living the lives Master Splinter assigned to them.

"Leo... what would Splinter say?" asks Mike.

"I'm unsure... I would gladly die for him... but... I don't know if I can give him my life." Leo responds.

As the guys debate the issues, Donatello finally surmises that it's a moot point to argue. Since the Foot Elite have sworn to kill Leo for slaying the Shredder, the Turtles will have to stop the Elite before they succeed in assassinating Leonardo. All four finally agree to seek Karai's assistance in dealing with the Elite.

Master Splinter is finally recovering from his wounds and lack of food, and is visited by a cheerful Rat King. The rodent liege tells the mutant rat that he's been trapped for two months, much longer than Splinter had thought.

"It has been educational" the Sensei notes.

"You came. You sought enlightenment," Rat King begins, "I was merely your guide..."

"And my tormentor." Splinter interrupts.

"Your beliefs, deeply held, sometimes blind you," states Rat King,"The walls erected in our minds block out the light of knowledge."

"That lesson is clear to me now... I can see why I was lead to this place." Splinter acknowledges.

"Yes... I've waited a long time for your arrival." announces the Rat King.

"You knew... I would come...?" asks Splinter.

"Of course," Rat King shrugs, "That's why I'm here."

"Hmmm... so... the Master becomes the student." the Sensei muses.

"...and may it ever be so." concludes Rat King.

Meanwhile, the old man is still recovering in the hospital from the injuries he received from the Elite's bombing. The fellow is sitting up by himself and watching TV, unfortunately the news of international war remains grim and he becomes morose.

The TMNT are climbing buildings to reach the rooftop of Karai's skyscraper headquarters. As they reach her rooftop, they find murdered Foot guards. The Turtles scramble through an open door and find the Foot's leader cradled over the body of a dead girl, surrounded by even more dead Foot Soldiers.

"Karai! Are you all right?!" Mike asks, "Your aide... is she...?"

"No... not my aide..." Karai cries, "...She was... my only daughter! A child...! Swear to me you will kill them... swear you will kill them all!!!"

Leo looks at her ruefully, and states, "I swear it."

Robyn and April meet with the executor of their father's estate in New York City and discover that they'll each be getting two hundred thousand dollars! Robyn asks April if she wants to go back to California with her to start a business, but April states that her mind is made up - she's going back to New York City. The sisters hug.

Casey is driving in the desert and crashes his Jeep into the side of a cliff. Uninjured, Jones emerges from the vehicle and starts climbing the rock face, carrying a container with him. As he reaches the top of the mountain, Casey removes the lid and scatters the ashes within.

"God speed, Gabe..."

The TMNT are working on some sort of mechanical project as Karai leads a troop of her Foot Soldiers on patrol. A Foot Elite spies Karai and her band and is shocked, because he thinks he's seen his Master, the Shredder (in reality it is only Karai wearing Shredder's armor).

The old man is standing in the hospital watching the TV news, and once again it features stories of political strife. The man leaves the room with the assistance of his walker.

Casey is at the diner where he had worked with Gabby, depressively nursing a cup of coffee. Suddenly a car screeches into the parking lot - it's Jones' Chevy! The cook asks Casey if he should call the cops, but Jones tells him he'll take care of it. Casey goes out to the parking lot and beats up the two thieves and retrieves his car.

Master Splinter is finally healed and exploring the bottom of the huge silo that he's trapped in. As he searches for a way out, he comes upon the skeletal remains of the Rat King.

"Ah... once more the universe allows a glimpse... of its myriad wonders... its imponderable mysteries!" the Sensei declares, "Yet, it is ever so... from Life, Death... and from Death... Life!"

Invigorated, Master Splinter uses his ninja skills to climb the sheer brick wall of the silo, ultimately achieving his freedom.

Casey Jones is driving east in his Chevy, his baby daughter named Shadow nestled in her baby carrier beside him.

Robyn and April are visiting the burned out remains of their father's antique shop in New York City. Robyn is distraught to see this place filled with so many wonderful childhood memories reduced to a shambles.

"I hate seeing it like this!" Robyn exclaims, "Growing up - there was so much life here!"

"I know," April agrees, "Now it just looks like... death."

"Maybe it's better that it'll be torn down... I mean, everything passes, huh April?" queries Robyn.

"Yeah..." April muses, "Seems like nothing's... permanent."

Robyn asks April what she plans to do, but April isn't sure. With that the sisters part ways, as Robyn has a flight to catch to California.

Before she leaves, April hears a noise from within the decrepit structure, but sees nothing.

"Hmm... probably the wind or a rat... a rat..." she sighs, and hails a cab to take her away.

Inside the building, Mike is watching April drive off. The Turtles are meeting with Karai and her Soldiers. Raph demands to know why Karai has called them here, and the Clan leader tells him that she was curious to see the place, as it holds so much significance to the events that lead them all to their current destiny.

Mike and Raph don't like being in the building, especially since it was the Foot who burned it down. Leo bends down and finds a photograph of April and Casey, in happier times. He folds the photograph in half and puts it in his belt for safe keeping.

"Enough reminiscing," the Turtle's leader announces, "We have a job to do."

"And scores to settle. Let's move on." Karai states.

Just then a crack appears in the ceiling and a group of Elite drop through the roof.

Five Elite Guard face off against the TMNT, Karai and her Foot Soldiers. Seizing the opportunity to confuse and deceive, the disguised Karai screams at the Elite.

"Traitors! I trained you to be steel tigers... not mad dogs! You dishonor me... and you dishonor the Foot Clan. All of you -- commit seppuku! NOW!!!"

One of the Elite, Tomei, falls for the trick and commits ritual suicide, but the others are not so easily deceived and demand to see "Shredder's" face. Karai removes the helmet and throws it at the Guard.

"I will show you my face! Look well, fools... gaze upon the face of vengeance... and see your doom!!!"

The Elite are taken aback and the Turtles use their pause to launch an attack.

Casey arrives at his mother's apartment building with his baby.

"Oh Arnold," Casey's Mom admonishes, "What did you do... go and get some girl pregnant?"

"Not exactly..." Casey states, "Can I come in, Ma?"

"Sure! Moving back in, are you?" Mrs' Jones asks.

"Well... maybe for a little bit," admits Casey, "Until I get us our own place..."

"Don't be silly, Arnold. I got an empty three-room in the basement."

"Thanks, Ma..." Casey smiles.

"So...who do we have here? Oh what a cutie-pie!" Mrs. Jones beams.

"That's Shadow... my... um... daughter." announces Casey.

"Shadow? Jeez... let me guess... you named her, right?"

"Sure did!" exclaims Casey.

"Is she yours?" Casey's mom asks.

"Well... legally, yeah... but biologically, no."

"So," Mrs. Jones wonders, "Where's the mother?"

"Ma," Casey begins, "Don't call me Arnold."

The Turtles and the Elite are battling furiously. Foot Soldiers are armed with submachine guns and firing at will, but most of them are being killed by the Guard.

April is seated at a restaurant. She's circled an item on the Real Estate page.

The old man is peering out of the window of the hospital. He walks away from it, needing no assistance, and sits on the bed.

Leonardo takes out one of the Elite, but another has cornered Karai. Raph has his hands full with one of the Guard who's utilizing a chain, but the Turtle defeats his opponent. Karai leaps onto a lighting fixture to escape her foe, but it pulls out of the ceiling and sends her careening to floor - the Elite dives after her but is slain when Karai uses a lamp post to impale him. Outside on the roof, Donatello is searching for his quarry. The Elite sneaks up on the Turtle and kicks him to the floor, breaks his leg and then kicks the injured terrapin off of the roof!

Karai has her hands full as another Elite attacks her.

"You profane the image of our Master, the Shredder," the Elite Guard growls as he punches Karai in the face, knocking her to the ground where he's able to get the advantage on her, "And for that.. you must DIE!"

As the Elite Guard prepares to deliver the killing blow to Karai, Donatello manages to overcome his injuries and grab one of the Foot Soldier's machine guns. Before the Elite can act, the Turtle pulls the trigger and kills him. Karai arises and goes over to Don, helping him stand with his broken leg.

April arrives at Mrs. Jones' apartment building. It seems that April has decided to invest the money she got from her father's estate into rental property, and coincidentally, Mrs. Jones is looking to sell her apartment building and retire in Florida. Mrs. Jones takes April on a tour of the place, first stop: the basement, where the "handy man" is working. Mrs. Jones asks April if she'll keep the handyman on, and O'Neil is tentative. Soon enough, Arnold Casey Jones is "introduced" to April.

Casey and April both exclaim "I can't believe it!" and give each other a big hug.

"Uh... does this mean you'll take it?" Casey's mom asks.

Leonardo is facing off with the final Elite in a sword battle. Both are cut seriously when Leonardo drops his katanas and lunges into his adversary. The leap takes both of them over the edge of the collapsed floor and they fall to the first floor - neither the worse for wear, the hand to hand fight begins. After initially getting the upper hand, the Elite is overpowered by the Turtle and dispatched.

The old man in the hospital, Mr. Buscheyev, is checking out, although he still looks depressed.

Leonardo makes a splint for Don's broken leg while Mikey gets to work constructing a travois. Karai thanks the Turtles for their help.

"I... I owe you a great deal." she begins.

"You owe us nothing but your word, Karai." Leonardo tells her.

"We made a deal," Don notes, "Just honor your part of it."

"I will keep my word, Turtles. No longer will the Foot Clan bother you. We have our world... and you will have yours."

"I'm just glad it's over... maybe now we can live a normal life..." Mike hopes.

"HAH!" snorts Raph.

"But... what of the price of this... peace," muses Don, "The blood shed, the lives lost..."

"I'll not say I'm pleased with the way it happened, Don... but can't you see? Finally... for the first time in our lives... we are not in the shadow of the Shredder." Leonardo explains.

"What about you, Karai?" Mike queries, "What will you do?"

"Once the reorganization of the Foot in New York is completed, I will return to Japan. There... I will spread the ashes of my daughter on Asana Bay and perhaps... begin the healing of my ravaged heart." Karai states.

"I'm sorry." Mike replies.

"But even my grief cannot intrude on my duties. The company's -- the Clan's -- interests supersede all else. It does me no good to wish it otherwise." Karai says.

"Can't you change things?" asks Mike.

"Perhaps... someday," Karai answers, "But for now, it is my path... as your path, until today, has been one of vengeance and reprisal, this path has ended, as life has offered you a new beginning... use this opportunity well."

"We will Karai," Leo states, "We will."

Casey, Shadow and April are at the farmhouse in Northampton, Massachusetts. Jones came back to pick up some items that he wants, and the pair set about cleaning up a little. April heats a bottle for Shadow and finds one of Casey's favorite mugs. Later that evening, after dinner the two reflect on their past.

"Y'know, it seems funny eating dinner at this table," Casey observes, "Just like old times... it's like we never left!"

"Well, there is one difference." April notes as she gets up and walks over to Casey.

"What's that?" Jones asks. April then plants a kiss on his surprised lips.

"I'll do the dishes!" Casey beams.

"Great! Then when Shadow falls asleep," April replies coyly, "You can tell me a bedtime story!"

Jones starts washing up and finds one of Leo's Aikuchi knives. He shows the blade to April.

"I wonder where they are now..." Casey ponders.

The next morning, April is swimming in the lake. As she treads water, something pulls her under. Casey springs into action, but before he dives in, April is pushed out of the water by 3 sets of green hands. Leo, Mike and Raph emerge from the lake with April in tow, Mikey lending an arm to her as the group makes its way to land.

"You guys!" April gasps, "Scare me half to death!"

Casey gives everyone a hug, except Raph, who he throws a punch at (much to Raph's delight).

The group relaxes on the grass and catch up with everything that's transpired over the previous months. April announces that she's definitely buying Casey's mom's apartment building and she'll be sharing it with Casey and Shadow. Mikey hits it off with Shadow. April asks where Donatello is and Leo explains that he's with Master Splinter. The friends hike out to the woods and find Master Splinter and Don in a cave. Stories are exchanged.

"So April and Casey have to be back in New York tomorrow and we were going to hitch a ride with them," Leo explains to Don and Splinter, "You feel up to it?"

"No," Don announces, "I've thought about it, and I'm going to stay here with Splinter."

"Huh?" Casey blurts out.

"You're sure about this, Don?" Leo inquires.

"Yeah... I need some time to... reflect on everything's that happened... my mind and body need recuperative time... and Splinter has agreed to help me." explains Donatello.

"Well, I..." Leo begins.

"Donatello's decision... he has made it." Splinter states.

"Yes, Master Splinter... as you wish." Leonardo bows.

April tells Don and Splinter to stay at Casey's farmhouse, something the mutants are hesitant to do, for fear of being discovered. As the group prepares to leave the cave, April pauses to say goodbye to Splinter, but he's gone.

"Please don't think ill of him," Donatello says, "He... while we were gone, something happened to him... something that he's been unwilling to talk about."

April and Casey are visibly disappointed with this explanation, but they ask Donatello to tell Splinter goodbye for them. Then April, Casey and Shadow depart with Mike, Leo and Raph. As they reach the edge of the farm and leave the forest behind, April pauses once again.

"Casey... can I have a few minutes alone?" she asks.

"Sure, babe." Casey assures her and walks off, leaving her at the edge of the woods.

"I don't know if you're there, Splinter... if you hear me. If you can... I want you to know... my father died recently. My Dad -- he raised me, taught me a lot about life, how to be a good person. I loved him. I still do. He's gone now, but... the last few years, I've felt that I've had two fathers and... and... I've loved them both. Goodbye, Splinter." April reveals through tears.

From the depths of the forest, Splinter emerges and walks over to the crying woman.

"April," he begins, and as he stands before her, he holds out his arms, "Daughter."

The two embrace as the rest of the family watches.

Mr. Buscheyev is being taken by a cab to his new home. A man is accompanying him and carries his suitcase up the steps of the apartment building to his unit. The younger fellow opens the door and escorts Mr. Buscheyev inside, pointing out the various features and rooms.

"Got any questions?" the young man asks.

"No... thank you." Mr. Buscheyev says.

"The director, Mrs. Broderick, will come by today to introduce herself and to acquaint you with the facilities. I'll be by next week to check up on you. Good luck, Mr. Buscheyev." the young man explains as he exits the tidy apartment.

Mr. Buscheyev turns on the TV on heads over to a window and looks out dejectedly, as the camera pans away from him.

The End.

REVIEW

This is a proper ending for volume one. Except for some plots, it almost seems like an ending.

And this is the type of arc TMNT should always have. I feel like volume 4 was a little like this in terms of ongoing plots, but that never got to an ending.

As for the specifics of the story. The old man in the hospital is supposed to represent the passage of time. At least, that is what it says in the letter columns. And you could understand it also from the point of view of Volume 1. This old man ends up in a retirement home, just like the volume.

I knew about Shadow Jones, but I didn’t know it wasn’t April’s. This was clever, as making April go through pregnancy would have brought all the tropes we don’t want to read about. Casey’s journey is not that obvious to me until the moment he gets his car back, that was an interesting arc.

As for Splinter and the Turtles... I am not sure what’s going on with Splinter, maybe he feels like his sons do not need him anymore? But that last moment between April and Splinter was very emotive.

The art is amazing for an action book. Regular human drama... is 50/50. Sometimes it looks like very muscular people having conversations. But fortunately, most of the time looks like TMNT.

I give these issues a score of 9.

[kylecoopers]

( trans male ) haven’t seen KYLE COOPER around in a while. the TYLER YOUNG lookalike has been known to be (+) OUTGOING & (+) SELFLESS, but HE can also be (-) STUBBORN & (-) SELF DEPRECATING. The 19 year old is a FRESHMEN majoring in CULINARY. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( gabby. 19. est. she/her. )

feel free to like if you’d like to plot !! or send an im idm

trigger warnings: transphobia, homophobia, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. pls read with caution, friends !

hello everyone !! i’m gabby and i bring my much plotted baby boi kyle with me ! i’m super excited to be in this rp and i really hope you guys like him; i’ve had him for a couple of years and i’m finally actually using him in a tumblr rp so ?? pls love him ?? lkfsjkh. like i assure you, i am not doing him justice with this bio as it’s just a quick, really terrible jot down of everything and i’ll go back to this later. 

history. 

kyle grew up in the suburbs in new york that for the life of me i can’t literally remember the name of so uh they’re tHERE, i just don’t remember the name. anyway he’s the youngest of the cooper family, and has an older brother named jeremiah. 

the family was picture perfect, honestly nauseously so. kyle was a ballerina for the first half of his life, jeremiah was a soccer star and a profound piano player, his father was a heart surgeon and his mother was an award winning author for books about parenting and such. 

of course, kyle never felt like anything was right. from a young age, he felt as if he was different than what his parents wanted him to be, a sense of anxiety washing over him constantly as he tried to be the perfect daughter and choke those emotions down. 

tw homophobia and transphobia. the household was extremely homophobic and transphobic on the inside. his parents were white republicans who often made terrible comments at the dinner table about the state of the world. it would just continue his spiral with his own gender id, causing very conflicted emotions within him when he finally put a definition to what he was experiencing. 

he’d start to isolate himself as he got into middle school, not wanting to be looked at or touched or even acknowledged by his peers. he’d start high school with no friends, simply hanging out in the library by himself writing in his journal and trying to ignore the loneliness he felt from the walls he built himself. 

when he turned 15, he went into the bathroom and cut all of his hair off and tried to bind his chest with a scarf and just sobbed as soon as he saw himself in the mirror and for once he hadn’t hated himself. his crying woke up his mother, who ended up unlocking the door and walked in on him simply standing there, shaking.

that would be the last night he was in the house. his parents would send him to live with his aunt in the city the next day, only getting him pack one suitcase and murmuring slurs to him the entire ride there.

they’d drop him off at her door and he’d spend the next month at her house hibernating in his new room, blinds drawn and just sitting in the dark.

tw self harm. he’d start self harming around this time. everything would just become dark and mundane and he’d have a strong disliking towards himself and everything would be so hard for him around this time. he’d get really close to hitting his edge, only talking himself out of it before

his aunt would kinda force him out though and try to be some sort of supportive force in his life, first by saying that she accepts him and then helping him transition by helping him fix his hair, taking him out shopping to get different clothes, buying him a binder, and getting him into therapy.

she’d end up becoming the mother he never ?? had tbh

during his senior year of high school, he’d turn 18 and she’d give him the opportunity to change his name legally from what it had been to kyle, and shortly afterwards he’d get accepted into the lockwood

as of now, he’s been saving up his money to get chest surgery and is pre-t. 

he still relapses occasionally but it’s a lot rarer than it had been, and overall he’s trying so so hard to be this positive person he likes to show he is

fun little bits!

he’s a culinary major and has always wanted to own his own bakery. also really wants a restaurant though so its like a constant “wHAT DO I WANT”

new york is his city and his home and he loves it so much so he’s constantly taking breaks to visit.

wILL get a dog at some point like he’s w/o a doubt gonna do it.

really likes to read poetry and all that jazz

favorite food is pizza, favorite pizza place is pizza hut in terms of chain but he loves a restaurant in new york that serves the best pizza.

doesn’t really eat red meat !!

zodiac sign is taurus

also loves chinese tho like he lives off of it in college tbh

doesn’t eat at chick fil a and boycotts it tbh

pinterest board can be found here !!

song most based on him is this is home by cavetown !!

[mackadesiac]

Anxiety and Finances

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The first time I realized that my general anxiety disorder may be impacting my spending habits was when I was in the middle of PetSmart, nearly in tears, because I was afraid I wasn’t spending enough money on my cat for his birthday.

I have a very cute cat. He is very sweet, very social, and very indifferent on the majority of toys he gets. He has two favorites, and that’s about it. I ended up blowing my fleeting budget on a cat tree (which he already had). He never touched it, and I ended up giving it away.

The next year, I briefly dated a coach from the gym. When we matched on Bumble, I convinced myself I needed to go to Old Navy to get a new workout top that was cute, and flirty, which would seal the date.

If did not. After two dates, he ghosted me and is now in love with a woman who is far more fit than me, but with the same first name. That does wonders for my self-esteem.

Writing these instances out feels juvenile. It feels silly to panic over a date, or a cat’s birthday, or the idea that my apartment wasn’t “fall enough”, leading to a binge shopping spree. It didn’t feel silly at the moment. It felt overwhelming. I still remember the panicked feeling in my chest, the single obsession I had, the rapid heart, the trick my mind did, which was assuring me that the second I made these purchases, Larry (the term I give my anxiety), would simply vanish.

I’ve been reading “Bad with Money”, a book by Gabby Dunn about finances. This was the first financial book, where mental health was addressed, and I didn’t feel like absolute shit at the end of reading it. Typically, every book I read or financial advice I get, revolves around “Be better.”

Here’s the truth: For those of us who are not neurotypical, “being better” is not as easy as you think.

I was in a denial for a long time that my mental health was impacting my financial behavior. I would do something impulsive and then feel devastated that I was a terrible, unworthy human being, spend some time in bed, crying and watching YouTube videos, telling myself “I AM GOING TO CHANGE”, then falling back into a terrible cycle.

For those of you who are reading this and thinking “You entitled millennial, saving money isn’t that hard, you’re just lazy”, let me tell you what an anxiety disorder feels like. 

unsplash-logoDarius Bashar

Something slightly unexpected happens, or a major work type thing is approaching (e.g., academic conferences, deadlines, a date). I start to think about it. I start to have graphic dreams about something going wrong during said event, usually involving blood, death, or something worse. My stomach starts to turn into knots. My heart rate starts to rise. It feels like I’m about to die or lose control. My head sometimes gets light. I get dizzy. I start to focus singularly on one thing that will “Fix this.” Typically it means purchasing something that may help, or at least something that will make me think I’m ready. I buy that thing, and I get a tempory relief.

It is not fun. It is not “all in my head. There are somatic symptoms. And it hurts my finances in ways I only realized recently. If you struggle with this, or mental health and managing finances here are a couple of things I want to say:

You are not a bad person for your finances. Likewise, if you have a ton of money, you are not automatically a good person. Money does not indicate self-worth.

Practice grounding. Whenever I get an anxiety attack, I have a list of things I try to focus on. I review all of the names of the Harry Potter books, the Horcruxes, where they were hidden, who killed them, etc. etc. Sometimes I even text my friends and say “I’m having an anxiety attack. Text me Harry Potter trivia.” It works. Pick something you know a lot about, or focus on reciting all the states you can.

See a therapist. I love therapy. I think it’s great.  I get to tell someone all about myself and they are forced to give me insightful information. It’s everything I have ever wanted.

Keep a list of self-care activities that are free with you. I have one in my Bullet Journal, broken down by category. If I spend ten minutes playing guitar, even if it takes every fiber of my being, I tend to feel better, and the anxiety lessens.

Understand the system is set up to fail you. You are not a failure, especially in graduate school, for not having a lot of money. I am insanely privileged to have parents to help me out when I get in a tough spot, and I understand not everyone has that ability. It’s hard for the average person to escape the consumerism culture. It’s even harder when you have mental health issues, and everyone is selling you on devices, and hair care in the name of “self-care.” If you end up spending some money or falling victim to that, it’s ok. You’re not a failure-the system is failing you. Look forward, not backward.

Forgive yourself once in a while. When I started being kinder to myself, I notice I stopped having as many spending sprees, and I’m better at controlling myself.

Talk to everyone. Ask your professors how they made it through grad school. I recently started asking my grad school friends how they manage their money, and it’s helpful. I know I’m not alone, and I occasionally get tips. When my professors mention budgets, I ask them how they keep track of them, and they’re helpful.

Avoid the people who make you feel bad. Graduate students aren’t always the most chill, down to earth people. Some people come into programs with a lot of money, and hearing them talk about blowing money on things I couldn’t dream of, or their ability to jet off when they want, makes me feel like I’m a failure. Other people will convince you that since you are not doing exactly what they are, you’re a failure. The older I get, the better I am at avoiding those people and cutting them out of my life.

Find the resources that work for you. Reading Bad with Money has helped me with the shame of my finances. The podcast was where I started. Also, You Need A Budget, has been the most helpful app in terms of understanding budgeting. It’s free for students for a year I believe, and they have some great information that doesn’t focus on shaming you. Dave Ramsey never did it to me-I just felt ashamed that I couldn’t add a pizza delivery job to my already full schedule. Plus I’m a left-leaning, brown, bisexual woman, and I couldn’t help believing that I was his target audience (this may not be true, but it’s a feeling I got).

Focus on positive feelings. I used to try and shame myself out of spending money, which didn’t end up working. I would focus on the guilt, which would just flip me into “I am so anxious that I need to spend 12 hours in bed to avoid the world.” I’ve been trying to think “If I save money, I can buy my parents something ice” or “This ten dollars can be spent on a vacation/tattoo rather than coffee.” Instead of shaming your current or past self, think of investing in your future self.

For the love of God, sleep. Therapy helps. Medication helps. Meditation helps. But sleeping is the best thing for my anxiety disorder. When I get a good nights rest, I feel so much more in control. I feel ready. I go to sleep around 8-8:45 pm, and I have learned to love it. Please do not fall into the stupid grad school myth that if you’re not working until 2 am, you’re failing. It’s bull. My work is so much better when I feel positive and rested.

I’m not going to pretend I am perfect with my finances yet. Hell, I’m not even close. But sharing my thoughts and perspectives with others may help someone down the line. And the more I share, the better I feel. I shouldn’t be ashamed about my mental health or my finances. Because the more I keep those in the dark, the worse they get.

[bittysvalentines]

Puppies and Hockey Players

To @missweber

From @maramcgregor

_______________

Local news stations were covering nothing but the sensationalist story in Providence. People talked about how horrified they were. There were calls to local officials.

 Georgia Martin, brilliant strategist and assistant GM of the Providence Falconers saw an opportunity.

 “Hey Bitty. Is Jack there?”

 “He’s in the shower, but I’m sure he’ll be out in a minute. Breakfast is almost done.”

 Georgia hummed, thinking about the crepes Bitty had made one morning when she dropped in unannounced. “If he can smell it in the bathroom, I’m sure he’ll be making an appearance sooner rather than later.”

 “Is there something I can help you with?”

 “Not really. It’s more of a PR/publicity thing I was hoping to rope Jack into. Make use of his not insubstantial assets for the greater good.”

 Bitty laughed, high and bright, “Well, he certainly has an abundance of those.” There was a pause and a bit of muffled conversation.

 “‘Allo?”

 “Jack! What do you think about puppies?”

 “Umm … they’re cute?”

 “Falconers PR is thinking of being a public face to help raise money for the rescue shelter that took in all those dogs from the Reservoir case.”

 Jack sighed. “We’ve had to keep the TV off. Bits can’t stand to see the conditions they were kept in. And everyone keeps playing the same video clips. It’s worse than those SPCA ads.”

 “We have an opportunity to raise money for their care and help them get adopted. You interested?”

 “Sure, George. What do you need me to do?”

 “Nothing, yet. We’re going to get the city engaged and set a date for a fundraising event. Something casual and fun.”

 “Sounds good. Just let me know.”

* * *

 It was the off-season and the days flew by. Bitty and Jack didn’t think too much of the upcoming PR event. It was pretty standard and low-key in comparison to most of the high dollar events Jack was usually asked to attend. Bitty sighed to himself and realized that he was probably not going to get out of those now that everyone knew he was dating Jack.

 The week before the fundraiser, the Falconers PR team revved up into high gear. They had Jack come in with the rest of the team that was still in Providence for the off-season and do photo ops with the dogs that had been approved to go to homes. The 15 dogs were the healthiest of the lot and were well-groomed by the shelter volunteers. These 15 were named by the Falconers with hockey themed names or after players themselves.

 The dogs that were named after players had their photos done with their namesakes. People lost their minds over Snowy holding a tiny ball of white fluff in his goalie glove. The die-hard Potatomann shippers were cooing over the littermates that were named Jack and Tater. They were black and tan large puppies, easily out-sizing every other dog up for adoption. The pictures were widely shared and certain sites tried to argue whether Snowy and his namesake or Jack and Tater with theirs were cuter. Georgia was ecstatic and posted an online poll encouraging the debate.

 Bitty retweeted the poll, kissed Jack on the cheek, and voted for Snowy with the hashtags #SnowyPupWins #SorryBabe.

 The day before the adoption event, Georgia called Bitty directly. “Hey, so we were going to have the WAGs help out with running the raffle and help the children that come to hold the puppies. There will be media there getting video and pictures of the SOs mingling with the fans, holding the puppies, etcetera. As the boyfriend of one of our As, and the face of the franchise, I was hoping to rope you into this. I know you have another year of college, so I’m not expecting this to be a common request, but as it’s the off season -”

 Bitty snorted quietly to himself. “Lifestyles of the rich and famous?”

 “Well, eventually. This is just a puff piece. Something easy and not truly demanding of anyone.”

 “And it’s a good look for the organization and all of the players.”

 “Hey, who doesn’t like large hockey guys and adorable dogs?”

 Bitty laughed. “Ya got me there!” He gazed at the bedroom where Jack was taking his afternoon nap. Well, his post-coital nap while Bitty baked some quick finger foods to snack on and tempt Jack back into wakefulness. Tater was at his physical therapy appointment. Bitty expected him back within the hour. “I have a vague idea of what I signed up for. Alicia has been more than helpful in letting me in on what might be expected once I’ve graduated. And Gabby and Carrie have been really great at making sure that I integrated with the group. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have benefited from starting at regular ol’ SO rather than face of the franchise level, but this might be good for me to get my feet wet with.”

 Georgia kept her voice low and sympathetic, it was a practiced tone, but honest. “I know this has the potential to be overwhelming. It’s why I’m hoping to start you out with a bit of a softball, get the town to really love you. Hockey fans have a tendency to defend their own. And if they see you doing local charity, it’ll go a long way.” Georgia paused and debated with herself for a minute. “Do you think you could make a couple of pies? Or, if it’s not too much trouble, some of that treacle tart?”

 Bitty laughed. “You think you could get me to go to a charity event and not bring pie?”

 “Well, I was thinking maybe you could have your own raffle table. Maybe an assortment of things? Some muffins, some fruit tarts, some pies …”

 “There won’t be any blueberry, unfortunately. Tater hasn’t left a single blueberry in peace since he moved in.”

 “Your instagram stories with him have been priceless. I have loved every update.”

 “Well, bless his heart, I love that boy, but dear lord I have no idea how he has survived on his own for this long.”

 * * *

 Bitty was a bit of a nervous wreck in the hours leading up to the adoption event. Jack chuckled and ruffled his hair as he desperately tried to tame his cowlick in the back.

 “Honey, please. I need this to go well. There’ll be cameras everywhere. And George has me running a dessert raffle. I can’t afford to have anything out of place.”

 Jack kissed him on the temple. “You’ll be fine, bud. And your raffle is going to be amazing. I’m sure you’ll sell plenty of tickets. I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up selling more tickets for your pies than some of the puppies get.”

 Bitty smiled up at him and raised one eyebrow. “Only some of the puppies, Mr. Zimmermann?”

 “Of course. Mine and Tater’s are going to get the most tickets out of everyone.”

 Bitty laughed and slapped Jack’s chest. “I believe you are mistaken. The most popular puppy is surely going to be Snowy. That tiny white ball of fluff sitting in that gigantic goalie glove is too cute for words.”

 “As long as it’s the puppy and not the guy you think is cute,” Jack chirped.

 “I’ll have you know Snowy is quite the looker. But, to be honest, I don’t think I could handle a goalie. They’re just plain weird.”

 Jack pinched his denim clad butt and laughed as Bitty squeaked in indignation.

 “Don’t you start something you don’t have time to finish!”

 * * *

The Providence Pups Charity Drive couldn’t have gone better. Georgia watched as reporters dutifully followed the narrative she wanted crafted. It was fluff, pure and simple. Pictures of the players skating with the dogs in hand, kissing them, photo ops with the fans and the lucky winners. It was perfection. And, to top it all off, Bitty had made her a separate batch of treacle tarts.

 There was stiff competition for most popular dog … if you added Jack and Tater’s together. Snowy won by a landslide. Tater argued that they campaigned their dogs together and it was only fair to add their tickets to come up with a correct count. Jack nodded along solemnly, and forced his face straight as Tater’s arguments grew more and more outlandish. Apparently, “treason from Little B” was now a high crime and the sole fault of why they lost. Bitty promptly informed them both that he was the one cooking their meals and if they didn’t at least try to behave they could go out for dinner for the foreseeable future.

 Jack gave him an overly scandalized look, “Bits, bud, I would never -”

 “Don’t you dare, Mr. Zimmermann. Those sad, blue eyes only get you so far. I’ve seen you sweet talk your way out of trouble with professors, don’t think I don’t recognize that look.”

 “You bribed your way into class with pie!”

 Before the chirping could get out of hand, a woman and her son came over. “Excuse me?”

 Bitty bit back his retort and smiled pleasantly before scooting to the side.

 Jack smiled at them and the small Parson Russell Terrier the boy held. “Congratulations on the dog. Can we help you with anything?”

 The woman, brunette with a few strands of gray, patted her son on the shoulder. “Go ahead.”

 The boy was maybe 13 or 14 years old. He shyly stepped forward and held the small dog to his chest. “Um, I actually have a question to ask - um, Bitty? Is that okay?”

 Bitty was momentarily shocked, but smiled gamely. “Of course. What can I help you with, sugar?”

 He glanced back over at his mom and cleared his throat. “Well, I know the Falcs named all these dogs, but I was wondering - I was wondering if it would be okay if I changed his name?”

 “You certainly don’t need anyone’s permission to change your dog’s name. He’s yours. Free and clear. I’m sure the Falcs won’t mind, just so long as you give him a good home and lots of love.” Bitty tried to keep his confusion out of his voice and off his face.

 “Well, you see, I was hoping to change his name to - um -” he looked down at the puppy that was snuggled into his chest and forced the last of his question out, “to Bitty. If that’s okay?”

 Bitty pressed a hand to his chest. “Of course that’s okay. I don’t know why on earth you’d want to bestow such an honor on me, but I’d be thrilled to know this little guy had my name.”

 The boy gained confidence at that and the words he’d been struggling with poured out. “I just want you to know that you’ve been such an inspiration to me. I know you haven’t been public with your relationship very long, but just the way you chose to be yourself. And being from Georgia and choosing to come all the way up here to go to school? It’s so amazing. And then joining the hockey team? That was really brave. I mean, I just started following your Twitter and YouTube when the Falcs announced who you were. But, I can’t believe you haven’t been playing hockey for very long and managed to get a scholarship to play Division I. And you coming out to your team in your first year? I couldn’t imagine doing that. And knowing that everyone was watching on TV and you are still in college? You declared your love so openly and honestly and I really hope that one day I can find a boy that I feel so much for that I would dare to do that with. I haven’t come out to my hockey team, yet. But seeing you and knowing how hard you worked to get to where you are is so amazing. And I can’t think of a better person to name my dog after. Terriers are supposed to be tough, and fierce, and loyal, all wrapped up in a small package. So, I just … you know … wanted you to know that.” The boy trailed off clearly started to become embarrassed by just how much he said and started toeing the ground with his sneaker.

 “That is just about the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I would love for your puppy to be named Bitty. And I hope that he gives you every bit of love and support that you deserve.”

 The boy smiled and left with his mom’s arm over his shoulder. Bitty held it together until they were out of sight and then let the tears stream down his face.

 “Awww, Bits, bring it in.” Jack held his arms open and wrapped them around Bitty as he buried his face into Jack’s chest.

 “That boy - if that wasn’t the sweetest - ugh, I’m a mess.” Bitty snuck a hand up between his face and Jack’s chest and wiped his eyes.

 “My hero.”

 “Don’t you chirp me right now, Mr. Zimmermann.”

 “Non, mon petit. You’re my hero, too,” Jack murmured into Bitty’s hair.

 Bitty chuckled through his tears. “My goodness, you’re not helping me stop the waterworks.”

 “Is fine! I am helping!” Tater grabbed Bitty from the back and wrapped his arms as far around the two of them as possible. “Little B is no longer persona non grata. Have little dog named after him just like Zimmboni and me. And all three have lost to Snowy. Is fair now.”

[thehappyheartbaker-blog]

My Thursday thoughts as posted on my Facebook this morning. 1/24/2019

Thoughts on Thursday

I am not sure how we can raise a child much smarter than ourselves, but in my case it happened. I am blessed.

The recent events in my life have changed me forever. I am stuck being very sad and stuck in the rut since early October of 2018. Things very quickly changed forever. And for my decisions, I have absolutely NO REGRETS. Although admittedly I am in the part of the grief process of being mad at God, but I'm willing to wait to see because I am sure HE has a plan.

------------------------

I know my closest friends always read my long and endless posts. Hopefully more are encouraging than discouraging.

I am embarking on a NEW journey. Call it, self discovery, self awareness or self improvement, but although I used to hate change, I plan to embrace it and give it my best effort.

My daughter, Gabby who has been the light of my life has really been my catalyst to attempting some positive changes. I know that success in a journey has a better chance of happening if,

1. You have support

2. You have those holding you accountable

3. You are willing to write it, claim it, or talk about it.

I talk all the time be it blessing or curse. I am always REAL and honestly my flawed and crazy self. I make no apologies. God don't make NO JUNK.

I'm not the only person to lose someone close to them, however I only know what that feels like to be in my shoes. I started writing a blog about grief and will share that info once I get a little farther along.

But to try and navigate through this process and literally survive, I am slowly making some transitions that I find myself doing totally alone for the first time in my life. But that's ok, because it's what I have. I have to move forward, although my heart is stuck in the past. That's the hardest part. That and being pretty much isolated from any family either by distance or circumstance.

So today, Thursday Jan. 24th, I've decided to change for hopefully the better. So for those interested, I will let you follow along. I intend to also include this on my blog.

Having friends around me, even though they are very few, have proven to be more valuable than gold. Although 2 of those are talking about moving, I have to learn to cultivate new & healthy relationships in my life. I have to be willing to get out of my house to do this. So here are my goals and feel free to jump in on my THOUGHTS ON THURSDAY ramblings and post comments or opinions.

I started meditating this morning. And my daughter took this goal on 1 year ago and declared it was literally LIFE CHANGING for the good and a transformation of self awareness and coping better with the stresses of life. How many of us would love that lil change? May I say, ME, ME, ME?

So I downloaded an app on my phone called, HEADSPACE. I started with 3 minutes sitting still in a chair this morning and listening to the calm voice speaking to me. Laughingly I texted Gabby to say I'm not miraculously cured. She reminded me that I'm like a garden, planting the seeds and cultivation comes before the eating the vegetables. Humm, sounds reasonable. That's where she's much smarter than I.

So I have listened to much of her advice in being able to recognize a weakness and make up our minds to implement change. There's that word, CHANGE. I admit change is necessary to making improvement. Yikes, hard to admit, right?

I also made a few other changes I will be glad to share for the hope of inspiring someone else that might be struggling too. But honestly, I have to have a way to not feel so alone and broken. I think I am not the only one ever sitting here and feeling this.

So I enrolled myself in a 9 month program called RECOVERY THROUGH CHRIST. And when I say RECOVERY, this is meant recovery from anything and everything from addiction, loss, childhood trauma and just anything that haunts us and makes us LESS THAN. Wow, talk about SELF DISCOVERY. Sharing with 10 other women and 9 of them strangers is more than eye opening, tear filled and such a feeling of connection. When I attended my first meeting on Tuesday evening, the first word on the board that jumped out was CHRIST. Admittedly, I almost left. But I was dropped off and had no vehicle. God had that all planned out.

So no one threw a Bible at me or anything. And I connected deeply with the stories of the other women in this group. The struggles that each of us face are personal and tragic in their own way. Trauma, heartbreak and feeling broken is more common than we want to admit sometimes and yet we carry, bury and try and cope. I carry trauma in my pocket from about as far back as I can remember. Maybe like 6 or 7. I've been in therapy for 20 years. I'm no longer afraid to admit weakness, feeling it's shameful to admit or even asking for help. God, meds, counseling, prayer or whatever is beneficial is okay. We can hope to pray away our problems and spiritual leaders in my life have told me this. Oops, no. Doesn't always happen without tools to help us along that path of hope and healing. Everything is a process, a journey and takes work and a willingness to change. You can be on the receiving end of a miracle, because I believe God is able. Yet, tools can be very helpful while we continue to pray and seek God.

So encouraging each other in women's groups or recovery groups or even groups for men, those aren't weaknesses as I had thought, but tools and a way to become WHOLE again.

So I'm about to leave for a local walking track at the university. My 9am standing appt of walking, thinking and contemplating the universe. Not all my problems can be solved through exercise, but strengthening my endurance and body cannot hurt.

I have enrolled myself in GriefShare classes, going to learn ASL (American Sign Language) and therapy and checking into a few college courses. And lastly looking for a local church family. But as my usual quest to make 50 changes and reap the benefits by this evening, I'm making them little by little with hopes of better results. So for those interested, please follow along on my Thursday updates. If nothing else, they will be entertaining.

Be kind and live your best day, every single day. Tomorrow is not promised.

[robronotics]

Post Ep Ponderings January 19

I swear to you all, right now, I took in depth notes while watching this episode, and I still likely forgot stuff I wanted to say. What the hell was that? I cannot believe how much they packed into that hour. I’m not even sure where to begin since it all seemed to overlap, but let’s dive in and see what happens.

You know, despite the fact that she can come off as too hard on people in situations like this, I still really like how Nicola handled all this. I was a little worried for Lisa for a minute because she really was just trying to be a friend to Kerry. She really didn’t deserve to be fired. Hell, even though Kerry would’ve been fired from any other job for doing the same thing (and less, if she’d ever been caught for the other stuff). I liked how Nicola used it all to teach them that she won’t be taken for granted, but they both still got their jobs back. Conversely though, I also have to admit that I liked Kerry’s sneaky bit about bringing up how they lost their jobs in front of Laurel. She’s kind of awesome. Okay, not kind of, definitely. Also love how great a friend she’s been to Laurel. She’s really been there for her. Hell, they’ve kind of been there for each other when you think about it.

Speaking of Laurel, Brenda hooking her up with the lingerie parties was HILARIOUS. Especially Doug’s reactions in the beginning. I love that for some reason his first thought was that Brenda was going to get Laurel into hooking. Brenda... making Laurel... a hooker? Yeah, no, still doesn’t compute. It was pretty priceless seeing Doug react that way. In fact, that was a bit of a theme for me because Vic’s reaction when the group of them are sitting in the pub was perfect.

Insert kudos here to Vic for running the pub and giving out the best advice ever all night. She was ON. But I will get back to her.

Another bit of a side note here is that I felt really bad for Gabby and Ashley. I don’t really have too much to add here except that I think this is leading into Gabby starting to realize that Ashley is going to have to go to a home.

Okay, deep breaths here, I’m going to try delving into the absolute mess that was Robron, Finn and Kasim now. I don’t have too much to add to with the generalities of Finn and Kasim. Finn is starting to act a bit too much like Emma, Kasim is scared of losing his family and Finn is pushing too hard, leading to the really bad. in fact, it’s clearly just gotten worse.

As for the Robron portion of this, I’m not really sure exactly what I want to say. Clearly the episode was written from the beginning to set up just how off the charts their fight was going to be. The bridezilla comment alone set me up for that. It was almost a joke, or at least I think Robert was trying to joke, but in Aaron’s current state of mind, it wasn’t coming across that way. There’s just so much going on with them both right now. Robert doesn’t really know how to deal with people, I think. He does on the surface, when they don’t mean anything to him, when lying isn’t a problem because they’ll never know. But I suspect that he has trouble actually dealing with the people he really cares about. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of that was just that he had to lie for so long. The few times he tried to tell the people he cared about the truth, in the past when he was a kid and stuff, well the impression that I’ve been given is that it didn’t turn out to well. Look how much Diane has jumped down his throat just in the last few months still. I think it might be a coping mechanism for him. I wouldn’t be surprised if his line about it just being easier wasn’t more about him rather than Aaron. It’s easier for him to lie, not that it’s hard for Aaron to hear the truth.

Aaron, of course, has his own issues. I really felt for him when he was telling Robert that he doesn’t like who he is when he’s with him. Honestly, I don’t know if that’s all the time, but either way, I’m not sure it matters. I wouldn’t want to feel like that all the time either. You have to be able to trust your partner, end of, and right now, for whatever reason, no matter who’s at fault (and honestly their relationship issues are down to the both of them. Neither one is more at fault than the other in my opinion), but right now Aaron doesn’t trust Robert and he feels shitty that he’s coming off as some horrible person. Not only does he want to be happy, but he wants Robert to be happy. He knows he’s not happy and he knows that how he’s acting is making Robert unhappy. I think he’s starting to wonder if it’s all worth it, if neither of them are happy. On the other hand, Robert is frustrated for similar reasons. I’m not one to pretend that he’s good at relationships, but I do believe he’s trying and that he wants Aaron more than he has ever wanted anyone or anything, but he just doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think he knows what else to do, even if it seems obvious to us. We all know that Aaron would feel better if he cut off Rebecca, but no one knows for sure how long that would work before Aaron was just worried about someone else. On the other hand, I don’t know that Robert realized until this ep that his relationship with Rebecca was hurting Aaron so much. I really think he was using the situation to get more money so he could help them buy (or rather fix up) a house hand have a wedding and all the rest of it.

One thing I want to say here that might be unpopular is that I agree with Robert that it’s not wrong to still find other people attractive. When you fall in love with someone, it doesn’t mean you stop finding other people attractive. It just means you don’t want to do anything about that attraction anymore. If someone that looked and acted like Danny Miller or Ryan Hawley started flirting with me in a bar tomorrow, it would be flattering for sure, but I wouldn’t want to sleep with them, no matter how much I’ve enjoyed staring at their beautiful faces. I would be going home to my bf guilt-free.

At any rate, the more they go on with this, the more I want to see them both in therapy. At first alone, and then in couples therapy. And when I say see, I mean see. This is a visual medium after all. I want to seem them work their shit out and have epic meaningful conversations on par with or better than the one from SSW. That would be my absolutely dream.

And how fucking amazing was Vic tonight? She is going to be a fantastic mother. The advice she gave everyone was spot on. I only wish they’d listened to her, then maybe Aaron wouldn’t be on his way to jail. Though I think I really enjoyed the fight scene. It was definitely unfortunate that Aaron started to work out all his pent up feelings on Kasim’s face though. What a mess all that is. I don’t think Kasim is ashamed of being gay either. I think he misses his dad and he’s trying to figure out a way to be with his family again. It takes a lot before most people would cut off really close family members (which it seems like Kasim was with his dad) and I think he’s really just trying to figure out his life, as one does at that age. Finn just went way too far and he kind of deserved that punch in the nose.

Another side note here: I loved Ross’s ‘what? Did your gay love triangle blow up outside?’ part simply for the look on his face when he realized his bad joke was correct.

Finally, I’m going to leave on a high note. CHAS AND FUCKING PADDY RULE THE WORLD. I could live on Paddy and Marlon scenes too, for real. Their jinxed dates are getting better and better. I don’t know the writers too well yet, but does anyone know who wrote that part? Holy shit, when Paddy passed out due to painful erection in his cake I just about died of laughter. What a brilliant scene. Not only does the restaurant burn down, but Paddy pulls a ‘There’s Something About Mary’ in epic fashion. And the bit where Marlon was trying to have a look for him? Now that’s a best friend! I simply cannot give enough kudos to that whole scene. Everyone was on point. The acting was superb, the writing was superb and any time you get Paddy, Marlon and Chas in a scene together, I’m so in! All the little lines were just so brilliant. The “Paddy, have you been crying?” The “I can make meatballs, or sausage.” And yes, I am that immature. These guys should win for best comedic team, for sure. It also made for a nice juxtaposition against some of the cruel words from Robert during their fight. 

In fact, the balance in the episode also deserves kudos. When it was dramatic, it was really dark, but when it was fun, it was hilarious. Great job Emmerdale!

I think this is my longest post ever.

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

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[dailyaudiobible]

03/17/2019 DAB Transcript

Numbers 26:1-51, Luke 2:36-52, Psalms 60:1-12, Proverbs 11:15

Today is the 17th day of March. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is always a pleasure to be here with you and its a special pleasure to be here with you today as we step into a brand-new week together and we like…at least I like stepping into these shiny, sparkly weeks because every Sunday I remember we’re starting over, and everything is out in front of us and it's a new adventure. And, so, this new adventure for this new week will have us reading from the God's Word Translation and we’ll pick up where we left off yesterday the book of Numbers today chapter 26 verses 1 through 51.

Prayer:

Thank You, Father for the opening of another week and that the promise of another week out in front of us. We thank You for Your word. We commit to the fact that Your word will be a part of this coming week. We invite Your Holy Spirit to speak through Your word planting the fruit of the spirit in our lives and yielding a bountiful harvest that gets poured out into the world through us because of the work of sanctification that You are doing each and every day in our lives. And one of the ways that that happens is through interaction with Your word and contemplation about Your word and inviting Your Holy Spirit in and all of the places that we may have walled off even from ourselves. Come Holy Spirit, make us whole, we want to be well, we want to see. We pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

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Looking at the calendar, the upcoming More Gathering for women is the next upcoming event and that is a little bit less than a month away. This will take place April 11th through 14th and it will be in the mountains of North Georgia just about an hour out of Atlanta and it is going to be spectacular. And I think I’ve shared plenty enough about it is as has my wife Jill. So, you kind of know the lay of the land but if it's been something that's calling to you then registration is still open for a couple more weeks and you can get all the details at moregathering.com or go to dailyaudiobible.com and click the Initiatives section and it’ll take you to the same place.

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And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, my name is Luke. I would like the Daily Audio Bible listeners to pray for my deliverance. Today I pray deliverance prayers for the spirit of Jezebel and the spirit of narcissism as well as a bunch of other things, like a lot of things. It seems like almost hopeless because the list was so long and the reality of my situation of things that I need to be delivered of is so big and I just have a lot going on mentally right now and just need a lot of prayer and just thankful for this program and, you know, pray that I can just continue to grow, not be fake because that is what the spirit of narcissism…and just some of the things that I have going on mentally from…I’ve sinned so much in my lifetime and, you know, I was involved in drugs and all kinds of things and just really bad, really bad. So, the list of things that I need to be delivered from is deeper than what I actually knew and it’s really tough and it’s a mental battle every day, but God’s been giving me the grace to get through it and his program is helping a lot. My friend…shout out to my brother Leonard for showing this program and I just thank you guys for praying for me and I’m praying the people that I hear on the prayer request line. So, yeah, just, you know, deliverance all around the board, mental stability. I’ve had God show up so much in my life especially in the past few months. I don’t know how doubt or unbelief whatever creeps in my brain, but it does somehow sometimes. So…

This is Kathy from Kentucky and I want to thank Blind Tony for praying for my nephew today. Also let you know he continues to need prayer for his addiction problem but also my brother has less a week to live. He could go at any time he’s in hospice care. It’s very hard on me and the rest of the family, but for me personally it means giving up the first childhood buddy I had, and I’ll always have those memories but just pray for my brother to go in peace, that he can go in his sleep. And Lord he’s suffering right now, and we ask you to send Lord we just ask you to send my brother to his people in peace. Sorry, I’, mixing up my prayer with a prayer request but that’s how I do it. Anyways, Kathy from Kentucky, pray for a peaceful death for my brother. Thank you. Bye.

Hi, it’s Nicola from California and I have a praise report. So, 2018 and the beginning of 2019 were a rough time for me. I basically was in the wilderness. I moved cross country for a job and I ended up being emotionally abused and exploited by a by employer and it was a dream job, so I had to quit that, and I moved in with my parents and was unemployed for several months. I was just feeling very lost and I unfortunately grumbled like the Israelites, yet God provided for me in so many ways. I had a home to stay in, I had food. He even found a way to __ free therapy. I had someone sponsor me so I could go to free sessions with a therapist who has been so incredible. He has even provided travel for me and I grumbled either way, but I have now entered the promised land. I was applying to jobs and things weren’t working out and I was getting very frustrated __ but then my dad had the brilliant idea about applying to grad school in Scotland. I’ve always wanted to study in the UK. Since my father is British I’ve always wanted to do that and within three weeks of deciding to apply and applying I have already been admitted and I’m moving to Scotland which is a dream come true. So, I just want to say, if you’re in the wilderness right now I know it’s so hard not to grumble and not to complain but know that your promised land is coming soon and that is gonna be bigger and better than you expected and as hard as it is just trust the Lord. He is going to take care of you and everything is going to work out greater than expected as it has for me. Thank you. Bye.

Hi, my name is Claire calling from Bloomington Minnesota. I’ve been listening for well probably around nine months now and I make it a part of my day every day __. My prayer request is for both of our daughters. I have a daughter that’s 22 and a daughter that 17 and both for the last five years have gone through some really tough stuff. My older daughter was in an abusive relationship for about __ we were finally able to get her out about a year ago. She has almost __. And my other daughter is 17 and a great athlete have her world pretty much taken away by suffering three ACL knee injuries in a row and never really found her way back or her plan for her life and I feel both daughters struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and sadness. If you could pray for both of them, Gabby is my older daughter and __ is my younger daughter, that the Holy Spirit would just fill them up and they look to the Lord with great joy __ for them and that they are among __ kids their age and people that can mentor them and guide them and help them and just so much __ the Holy Spirit to come upon their lives and that their on fire for the Lord. Thank you, family. We love you all. And I look forward to hearing and praying, continuing every day. And thank you Brian reading every day. You’re a great voice to listen to and so calming…