#I love clothes though........... not like Real clothes just funny stuff from the thrift store
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my daily uniform in high school was always some version of Sweater Or Buttoned Shirt Tucked Into Pants because I hated how t shirts fit me (always so fucking LONG because im short) and then one day in college i magically realized that I could just take a pair of scissors to my t shirts and cut them so that the hemlines at the bottom/arms actually fit me in the right places.......... never looked back bro all my shirts are at various states of mutilation now but its so awsom........ Im Living Life...... in high school u never wouldve caught me dead in a tank top or any form of cropped shirt but thats because i didnt see the light. its also so practical........... its always 10000 degrees in the school studios and i'm always lugging heavy shit around... and all my hobbies involve full motion of my rotator cuffs okay they need breathing room. So That's The Story How I Became A Sleeveless Shirt Wearer like mac from its always sunny. and the cropped shirt..... POCKET ACCESS! POCKET ACCESS! a long-ass t shirt will drape over all ur pockets. absolutely diabolical when you keep as many treasures within your pockets as i do. anway.......... thats my speech about how everyone should mutilate their shirts if its applicable to them. peace on earth.
#im going to make a fashion blog but i never post fit checks i just describe in words what im wearing. jk#I love clothes though........... not like Real clothes just funny stuff from the thrift store#but i wouldnt make it far as a fashion content creator. i wear the same fits for like 3 days in a row and half of my clothing dates back to#middle school. but i can dream#wow this is the longest post on earth and I’m literally Shirtposting. sorry world . this is just who I am
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15 questions tag!
I was tagged by @andromedaexists ! I don't think I've done this before so I'll do myself to start it off
1. Are you named after anyone?
Kind of. My dead name is a combination of my parents' and my real name, Jason, I got off an old sketchbook my brother gave me.
2. When was the last time you cried?
I almost cried last night but it's honestly very hard for me to cry except for certain topics.
3. Do you have kids?
Nope!
4. Do you use sarcasm?
Not really, unless I'm trying to be funny
5. What's the first thing you notice about people?
That they're there, honestly.
6. What's your eye color?
I have a kind of heterochromia, I don't remember what is called, partial heterochromia I think? But I have a ring of gold around my pupils on both eyes. Legally though, they're hazel.
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
I don't really watch movies very much
8. Any special talents?
I can catch things really easily, even if they're moving in the corner of my eye.
9. Where were you born?
On a military base, I live within driving distance of it so I don't wanna say too much
10. What are your hobbies?
Roleplaying, watching YouTube videos, and... Honestly I need more hobbies.
11. Have you any pets?
No but I adore one of my neighbor's cats, he's a pale orange boy who loves to lay next to me and purr in the sunshine.
12. What sports do you play/have played?
I'm a bit out of shape but when I can play basketball I have a great time
13. How tall are you?
I think 5'2
14. Favorite subject in school?
I honestly don't remember.
15. Dream job?
I'd like to make things. Paint furniture, make things from old clothes, hand sew dolls and scented pillows, stuff like that. I want to live within my means and go to thrift stores and recreate things other people threw away. This doesn't sound like it would be that hard but it really is just a dream.
I tag @angelsofprey @abalonetea @fenrir-kin @fictionalbullshitter aaaand open tag because I can't remember how to spell anyone else rn 😅
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That fluff alphabet really is super cute, wow. If you're feeling up to it, could I request G, K, M, R and Z for Gentaro or Samatoki? (Whoever has the least requests the moment you decide to take this one on, please. I simp hard for both and cant make up my mind)
Aohitsugi Samatoki:
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?):
Samatoki is gentle in his own way but overall, you don’t think the word really suits him. He’s more rough around the edges when it comes to love and he can be very direct when he wants to be, even if he also skates around certain topics as he fears what the outcome might be (he’s no pushover but he’s not rushing to lose you either). He handles you and your heart with far more care than you ever suspected though, knowing his gentle side mostly comes out when he’s putting the effort into being romantic.
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?):
The emotional weight and intensity that are in each one of Samatoki’s kisses leave you always feeling satisfied if not a bit exhausted, putting forth all your effort into the more passionate ones as you don’t want to disappoint. It also almost always leads to more if you want it to and Samatoki is always raring to go even if you’re in his office or out in public together. He at least has the tact to kiss you chastly when you’re around others and in crowded public spaces but you can always tell by how he lingers that he hungers for more.
Samatoki did without a hint of hesitation. He knew he wanted this more than anything and you’d be showing the same signs, staring at his lips all night and flirting so hard he wondered how he hadn’t realized you had feelings for him before. It’s so incredibly surreal to finally be kissing someone he loved, someone he had been pining over for months, and he’s almost afraid to blink in case it all dissolves away before his very eyes.
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?):
The time you spent an entire day inside a thrift store slowly carding through each and every item to find a totally new wardrobe. You seemed more excited than him when you found the store that was practically a warehouse, excitedly jabbering on about all the hidden gems that might be there. He couldn’t say he was extremely interested in finding some of these ‘hidden gems’ and thus started the journey of finding interesting new articles of clothing, finding stuff for Rio and Jyuto too (which you wanted to get for them more than him). You even walked out with matching hawaiian style shirts and you were so happy Samatoki knew he’d wear the ugly thing out in public just to see you smile.
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?):
Samatoki always gets bored and restless on rainy days, finding them to be tedious to deal with as it’s not as though he still doesn’t have to work in the rain. On days he doesn’t feel like going in and just stays at home he tends to cook just due to pure boredom, enlisting you in these activities and making you taste test new things he wants to try out for dinner. You always have a good time when Samatoki throws on the old cooking apron and you admire him from kitchen table as he cooks, trying to hold back all the househusband jokes brewing in your head.
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?):
Samatoki isn’t really a pet person and he thinks his ideal pet would be something like a snake or a lizard of some sort. The only thing stopping him from getting one is his hatred of bugs but if he found a way around having to handle the squishy bundles of protein for his pet he’d buy one in a heartbeat. Dogs are too high maintenance but cats are lowkey enough that he’d consider them, too. He thinks owning a bird would be funny considering how much Jyuto detests them and would threaten to have it in the front entrance of his office for days he doesn’t want to be bothered by the cop.
Yumeno Gentaro:
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?):
Gentaro exudes gentleness and you’ll find that when romantically involved with him, things generally remain light-hearted. He doesn’t like to force situations and he’s the ‘sit back and see what happens’ type of person, approaching romance in a rather relaxed way that said there’d be no hard feelings if things didn’t work out. It can be to the point you don’t know how seriously he takes the relationship but heavy emotions wear Gentaro out, it’s why he lies so much because honesty is more exhausting but if you’re worth his time, you’ll get to see this side of him.
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?):
Gentaro’s kisses are gentle in nature, starting off with him pressing his nose against yours and asking in a soft tone if you’d like him to kiss you. When you agree he briefly gives you exactly what you want but pulls away to tease, saying if you want more from him than you’d have to come get it. He’s almost always playful when he kisses you and he always manages to lift your spirits with his kisses; he seems surprised and flustered to hear you admit that but happy kissing you isn’t just self-serving (as his mood is always improved by you giving him a smooch too).
It was a real 50/50 decision, the two of you having to work together to achieve it in the long run. Gentaro liked to sit back, watch, and wait to see what you’d do, never acting even when you got so close to him you could feel his breath on your skin. It was almost annoying how he managed to hold out and keep it together while you were stumbling over yourself but when you finally tell him to kiss you he does so without complaint. He ends up stuttering afterwards which shows he’s not quite as together as he’d like you to think and you’re pleased that he’s now embarrassed after an entire night of leaving you guessing.
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?):
Gentaro’s favorite memory was when the two of you were sitting on a bench in the park, holding hands as the sun set while chattering about this or that. There had been a few storytelling sessions where he’d seen how quick you were on the draw when he asked you about random passerby, a lot of laughs shared at the absolutely nonsensical stories of vampires and monsters that you came up with. He said you had a mind that rivaled his and that he’d gladly collaborate with you on a novel some day.
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?):
Rainy days are never boring with Gentaro as he can come up with a story for just about anything, though he’s sad he can’t people watch as he normally does. He’ll bury his nose in a book while sitting curled up on the couch under a thick warm blanket (you want to joke he looks like a very comfortable grandma but you don’t know if he’ll take it well) and if he’s not reading, he’s likely trying to write something using the rain as a type of white noise to help him concentrate.
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?):
Gentaro would love an elderly cat who just wants to live out its final years in peace, having it sit on his lap and tending to its needs. He loves cooing at the fluff ball and only gives it the best care, brushing its hair and humming happily to himself as he realizes, without caring, that he’s become a crazy cat man. He just enjoys the calmness an older cat brings with it and the lack of destruction to his house, amused that Dice doesn’t seem to trust it (nor does his cat trust Dice until he brings a can of tuna as an offering).
#Samatoki Aohitsugi#Aohitsugi Samatoki#Yumeno Gentaro#Gentaro Yumeno#Hypnosis Microphone#Hypnosis Mic#Hypnomic#Hypmic#Hypnosis Microphone Imagines#Hypnosis Mic Imagines#Hypmic Imagines#Hypnosis Microphone x Reader#Hypnosis Mic x Reader#Hypmic x Reader#aohitsugi samatoki x reader#samatoki aohitsugi x reader#gentaro yumeno x reader#yumeno gentaro x reader#Cute Alphabet
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Carey’s dad, Bernard! I gave him heterochromia based on my URL namesake, a childhood dog of mine named Pidgeon, who had one blue eye and one brown.
Bio under cut! CW for descriptions of death, illness, and mentioned suicide!
Name: Bernard Jess (Birth name: Ralph Ellis) Playlist: Here! (Spotify)
Age: 48 Occupation: Con artist Location: Varies; travels around Northamer in his RV Birthplace: Sand Blast City Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Species: Dog (Based on tricolor Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) Sexuality: Bisexual
Personality: +Positives: Charismatic; Clever; Exuberant; Jolly; Optimistic; -Negatives: Conniving; Fraudulent; Cowardly; Selfish; Opportunistic A real “people person” at his core, Bernard knows exactly what to say to get people to drop their guard around him. Armed with his wit and a silver tongue, he picks his marks and runs his scams, playing his short cons and booking it at the first sign of trouble. While he isn’t shy about his lifestyle of lying, cheating and bullshitting his way through life, he does truly love his wife, and holds the memories of his mother and father close to his heart. Likes: Bluegrass; Country music; Whiskey; Swindling people; Dislikes: The law; working; his hometown; dwelling on the past; violence; hospitals Hobbies: Acoustic guitar, fishing, storytelling, people-watching
Backstory (remember to heed the content warnings above!):
Born to Shirley and Maverick Ellis in the smog-filled, dome-covered rogues gallery known as Sand Blast City, Ralph had a fairly average childhood. While he attended school, his mother Shirly worked as a waitress in a dingy but well-known diner and his father, Maverick, worked the nearby mines. The Ellis family were very poor, and young Ralph often wore hand-me-downs and frequently struggled to keep up with his peers, making him a target for bullying.
When Ralph was 9 years old, Maverick perished as the mine collapsed. Shirley took a second job in a desperate effort to both pay for his funeral, and provide for their son. Ralph found himself targeted by bullies even more, though found support from other children who lost family in the mines. Life went on, the Ellis’ struggling to make ends meet and cope with the death of Maverick.
With no one to babysit, Ralph began heading into the diner after school, sitting at a booth and doing his homework. Over the years, he came to know its patrons, became familiar with its regulars and staff, and slowly began to master the art of people-watching. Ralph would sit, and listen, and watch these people - and got an earful of all the latest gossip. He learned that the man living in the apartment across had a nasty divorce and was a recovering alcoholic. The mother of one of his bullies was working the streets to keep food on the table. The stories of the neighborhood gambler, the old woman who also lost her son in the mines, the local politicians, of the baker who was having an affair, of the rich tourists who would make yearly stops in town - Ralph knew everyone.
And just like that, school life had become easier. No one would dare cross Ralph Ellis, because Ralph had all the dirty laundry on everyone - kids were less keen on bullying him when he threatened to expose their families as drug addicts or whores, or when he could tear their family apart with news of an affair. It wasn’t long until Ralph realized the power he held over his peers, and began blackmailing them into doing favors, such as carrying his stuff, doing his homework, and buying him clothes -- for the first time in his life, Ralph was able to wear more than hand-me-downs from the local thrift store. Life was starting to look up, and things were good.
Then it wasn’t. When Ralph was 15, his mother discovered she had cancer. They couldn’t afford treatment, and Shirley certainly couldn’t stop working her two jobs. Ralph took up a part-time job as a delivery boy, then a full-time job as Shirley’s condition worsened, dropping out of school to help. Within a year, she passed away.
And suddenly, at the tender age of 16, Ralph found himself orphaned, and within a few months, homeless. Despite everything - his father working his whole life and dying in those rotten mines, his mother taking two jobs, and Ralph himself giving up his education and taking up work - the Ellis family just couldn’t get ahead. Honest work didn’t pay. But he remembered coasting along in school, being able to pull peoples strings and manipulate others into working for him. He remembered the woes and weaknesses of the people around him. In a dog-eat-dog world, Ralph was determined to make his mark and make the most of the lemons life gave him.
Then, when Ralph was 19, a great plague swept over Sand Blast City. People were dying in the streets, and even more were panicking, desperate for a way to save themselves. Ralph saw an opportunity - his customers already trusted him, and he’d made it this far. It was time for his biggest, and riskiest, con yet. With a few local herbs, clean water, and a bit of cheap cold medicine, Ralph began marketing his miracle potion, promising immunity from the plague. With help from his silver tongue and the trust of the locals, the potions flew off the shelves. Ralph made more money than ever, and was, briefly, toted as a local hero. He knew he should have packed up shop and gotten the hell outta dodge, but he wanted to milk this operation for all it was worth. He stayed, intending to make and sell more of his miracle tonics…
And then, the plague got him.
The virus wracked Ralph’s body. For days, he lay by his wagon, delirious with high fever, struggling for breath, believing this would surely be his end -- and it almost was. Family of his customers tracked him down, furious that their loved ones weren’t protected as advertised. They beat the sickly con artist, and left him at death's door.
Ralph survived by the skin of his teeth, although not unscathed; as if a reminder of his treachery and what he’d done, his lungs were ruined, leaving him athsmatic, with a persistent cough and physically frail. But Ralph was nothing if not determined - as soon as he was well enough, he high-tailed it out of Sand Blast City.
Ralph would spend the next 5 years as a vagabond con-artist, selling cheap or bootlegged wares, which he either stole from yard sales or breaking and entering homes, pulling cat-in-a-bag cons and change raising, and continuing with his snake-oil salesman act. He often found himself being chased out of town, or on the run from local bounty hunters for crossing the wrong people. He also began using different names, switching his alias every few months or every year.
Then his life was changed when he stumbled into the Southern Baronies; an uppity, bountiful region famous for its large chao gardens and wine exports. It was then he met Margaret Blanche, one of Josiah Blanche’s daughters.
The Blanche’s were a prestigious family, renowned for their famous vineyard and exports, as well as owning the land upon which the Chao Garden was located. They were filthy rich, and acted the part -- which may be precisely why when Ralph, under the name ‘Bernard Jess’ - showed up, Margaret was smitten. ‘Bernard’ was exciting; he was handsome, charismatic, entertaining, funny, and judging by the stories he told the Blanche family, he led quite an adventurous life. Margaret had grown so bored of her life and wanted what Bernard had. Likewise, Bernard wanted what the Blanche’s had - their lavish lifestyle and money. He had come to them with the intention of robbing them blind, but found himself enamored with Margaret.
Josiah, of course, didn’t approve. He forbade the young couple from seeing one another, and had Bernard escorted from the property, deciding the young man wasn’t good enough for his daughter. Bernard knew he couldn’t really do anything about it, and focused on his cons with the other families in the Baronies. He and Margaret occasionally crossed paths during this time, and the two would spend time together in secret. Margaret fell more and more in love with the whimsy and rebellious attitude Bernard had towards life, and when it came time for Bernard to leave the Baronies, Margaret ran away with him
Life on the run together was golden. The two of them staged robberies, worked cons, and had made a small name for themselves. However, within a year, things suddenly took a turn when Margaret realized she had become pregnant. Fearing for her future, she pleaded with Bernard to take her back to the Baronies -- this had been great fun, but she was already tired of living off meager meals and on the run, and the pregnancy scared her. She wasn’t cut out for Bernard’s lifestyle, but promised him that upon returning, they would marry and he would join the Blanche family proper, and be able to leave this life behind.
And so they returned to the Baronies… Only to be humiliated by Josiah and the rest of the Blanches as they sneered and mocked and chastised Margaret for her stupid naivete and revealed that during her year-long romp with Bernard, they’d completely disowned her. Margaret, Bernard, nor their unborn child would see a penny of the Blanche fortune, nor were they even allowed on the property. Margaret was disgraced, disowned and suddenly, for the first time in her life, left with absolutely nothing. She was terrified and heartbroken, and all Bernard could do was be a shoulder to cry on - while knowing all too well this was his fault.
Bernard managed to make a very small arrangement with Josiah to make things just a little easier; on the very edge of the Baronies, hidden out of sight so as to not tarnish the view of the Chao Gardens and beautiful manors, was a small trailer park known as Barrow Creek. Bernard convinced Josiah to at the very least buy them a small plot of land, allow them to set up a RV to live in so Margaret could, at the very least, have a roof over her head. Josiah agreed, and the young couple moved into their new home.
Carey was born that year.
Margaret hadn’t wanted the child; as far as she was concerned, this was more Carey’s fault than Bernard’s. It didn’t help that Carey had been born with a defect - her left arm hadn’t formed past the shoulder. The baby was weak, requiring constant care and attention, and oh, how Margaret wished to smother the life from it and be done with this burden.
It was only on Bernard’s insistence that Carey was kept alive and fed; already, he was scheming how to make the most out of the situation. He felt nothing towards his daughter but inspiration -- he could make this work to his advantage. A disabled child would bring out the sympathy in people, making his cons go a lot smoother. People would give money out of pity or adoration for the disadvantaged family, he could spin a thousand sob stories about how she lost her arm, open donations to go towards putting her in school or getting her a prosthetic - in reality keeping the money for himself - and the possibilities for profit were endless.
For much of her infancy and childhood, Carey was toted around during Bernard’s many schemes, helping rake in donations from charitable and kind people. As she got older, Bernard got Carey more and more involved in his cons, reciting lines with her and having her partake in more elaborate schemes. He also taught her the art of picking pockets, breaking locks, lying, and stealing. By age 7, Carey was doing all this and more, being made to cook and clean and was expected to earn her keep for living with them, with Bernard making sure she understood that she was a financial burden unto her parents, all while using his charisma and manipulation to keep her adoring him.
However, during all of this, Margaret’s mental health was declining.
Gone was the bright, sheltered woman who wanted a life of risk and adventure - Margaret was bitter, angry, and jealous… but never directed any of it towards her husband, instead taking it out on their daughter and anyone else unfortunate enough to cross her path. She spent most of the day drunk and unhappy, or waiting for Bernard to return when he’d drive with Carey out of town to run a con.
Bernard was oblivious, for a time - and when he did become aware, he tried to ignore the problem. The rising tension between Margaret and Carey, Margaret’s drinking problem, and their growing debt were all things he tried to brush off, even as Margaret attempted to drown Carey out of jealousy for her spending so much time with Bernard.
By the time Carey was 10, the Baronies were no longer safe for the Jess family. People had wisened up to their act, the bounty hunters were closing in, as was the law. Desperate to get some cash for the road ahead, Bernard conspired to rob the Blanche’s estate. It would be a final sendoff, the last big gig before the Jess family laid low for a long time. Margaret was eager to reclaim what she’d left behind, but Carey had grown ill from neglect. She was sick with pneumonia, and thus sluggish and of little help - and so Bernard put her on guard duty, to keep an eye out if the cops or other signs of trouble appeared.
The heist didn’t quite go as planned.
In the end, the cops were called, and Bernard had shot and killed Josiah in an altercation. As Bernard and Margaret fled the scene, they left behind Carey purposefully, knowing the cops would stop for the small, sickly child. This allowed the couple to make a clean getaway, while ridding themselves of Carey’s burden.
It has now been 13 years since that day.
Bernard’s working alone now, with Margaret having taken her own life a few years ago. He carries that weight with him, knowing full well he ruined her life and that his neglect led to her deteriorating mental health. He still wears their wedding band, and insists on remaining loyal to her memory, though he does oftentimes feel lonely.
It’s difficult to pin where Bernard is at any given moment, as his cons often see him travelling all over Northamer. He’s still running his cons, hoping for that one big break and dodging bounty hunters and cops at every corner, keeping his past and his regrets close to his heart and hidden under lock and key.
#my art#my sonic fcs#sonic oc#sonic fc#OC: Bernard#ref sheets#they always say yeehaw but never ask haw yee :-(
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The Moonwalker and the Time-Traveler Prologue
California, 2020
“Ms. L/N, I suggest you wake up for my class if you want to pass this course.” I blink up at my professor, it seems that I fell asleep during history class again. “I’m sorry Professor Berkley, I was up all last night with my roommate tinkering all night.” At that he softens, a grandfatherly look in his eye. “Oh Y/N, I understand, but if you truly want to be a history major, you have to stay awake! I will not simply give you a free pass while trying to adjust, just please, try to stay awake in my class.” Standing, I nod. “Yes sir. I’ll do my best.” After this, I am dismissed and head back to my dorm room to hopefully catch a nap.
Kicking the door shut, I move to collapse onto my bed, but am blocked by whatever my engineering major roommate has built in the dorm for his latest project. “Seriously dude? Don’t you have a lab for this kind of stuff?” I kick off my shoes and do my best to move around it, finally, truly collapsing onto my bed. I fall asleep quickly, hopefully revisiting the dream I had during class.
Lord knows how much later, I wake up to my roommate continuing to tinker on his project. Grumbling under my pillow, “Danny, don’t you have a lab for this shit? Why do you have to do it here, I’m sleeping in classes because of this!�� He sheepishly lifts his head up to respond. “Uh, well, I uh… It’satimemachine.” Snapping my head up, I question “It’s a what?” Once again he looks shy and guilty. “It’s a, uh, Time Machine. Or at least that’s what I’m wanting it to be. I’m still working on it.” Well, I’m definitely awake now. “So, like, what’s the problem?” Finally putting down his tools, Danny turns to me, “It should work. I ran the simulations and used the one that worked. It’s just… not connecting I guess.” Glancing at the clock, it’s getting late. “Look Danny, I’m going to clean up some of my stuff. Go get some food. I know you haven’t eaten yet.” With a defeated sigh, Danny agrees and leaves the room. I slip into a pair of shorts and an old David Bowie tour shirt I had found at a thrift store. Picking up things here and there, folding abandoned pieces of laundry, I hum and bop around the room, dancing along to “Working Day and Night”, practicing turns and isolations to the beat. Taking a deep breath I prep and spin as fast and as long as I can, but my foot slips out from under me. I tumble to the floor, tripping over some cord. Oh well, it’s probably Danny's “mood lighting”, I plug it in and decide to check out the “Time Machine”. “Ground Control to Major Tom! Prepare for lift-off!” I press random buttons, dicking around and typing 1984, then some other buttons. “Huh, sucks it really doesn’t work. It’d be cool if you really could time travel.” Once again I trip over Danny’s junk on the floor of the project and slam into one last button I had yet to press. On the way down I hit my head, and the world went black as a whirring sound filled my ears.
Waking up, I find myself in a room about the size of mine, decorated much like my side of the dorm, with a funky retro feeling to it. “Danny, this isn’t funny, I get it, I’m gullible for believing the machine was real. Now how the Hell did you change all this so quick… and get rid of the machine?” I continue searching the room for Danny, and realise that the sun had already risen hours ago. I may have been out for longer than I thought, and come crashing into a body. Awesome! Now I can really teach that boy a lesson for pulling that. “Hey, what are you doing in my dorm? Nice shirt by the way, I was at the Anaheim show a couple months ago. That’s where you got the shirt, right?” I blink at the guy my age, still processing the amount of denim and hair products he has decided to use for the day. “What? Oh, uh, my shirt. Wait, did you say you saw him in Anaheim a couple months ago? What year are you from?” He knits his brows together. “1984. Are you ok? Did you get a bad hit or something? Do I need to call someone for you?” I space myself from him, the stimulation of this whole situation too much. “No, no I’m ok. What’s today’s date?” His eyes are still filled with concern as he replies with January 26th 1984, and that I’m still at University of Redlands, just 36 years before I attend. “Wait, January 26th, why does that sound so familiar? I hear Beat It blare down the hall and I can practically see the light bulb above my head. “Do you know how to get to the Shrine Auditorium?”
We zip down the highway on Tyler’s motorcycle, making a trip down to L.A. He had me explain my whole ordeal to him before he just drove me to a random concert venue. It took a bit to convince him, but the second I pulled my smartphone out he was on board. He pulls off to a strip mall and helps me dismount. “Wait, why are we at a mall? I need to get to that venue before security secures it.” He just rolls his eyes. “If you want to get in and stay in without too much attention, you need to look a little bit different. Time to fit in.” He drags me into store after store, and I finally piece together a “Bad” inspired outfit. A black crop top slips off one shoulder, leather pants pull tight around my legs and hips, a blood red leather jacket drapes my shoulders, and matching leather boots clutch my feet. “Tyler, this is too much. I can’t even pay you back.” He rolls his eyes and pays for the clothes, letting me keep my own hoops and rings. “Look, just meeting a time traveler is cool, dressing one is even better. When you get back home and you still want to pay me back, we’ll figure it out. Let’s get you to the moonwalker himself.”
As we pull into the parking lot for the venue, there isn’t another soul in sight. “Hey, here’s my address, if you ever want to mail me, or just let me know that you’re doing ok.” He hands me a slip of paper, and I hug him tightly. “Thank you Tyler, I am forever in your debt. If you’re anywhere near the university in 2020, let me know.” With that, he rides back home into the sunset, and I sneak into the venue before security shows up.
It’s a good thing I like the song Billie Jean, because I have heard it about 72 times in the last hour. During sound check alone I almost lost my mind, with just the baseline intro playing for 30 minutes. As I hear the cue from the director that it is time to actually film the commercial. I hear “Take One!” in the distance and I ditch my jacket behind a stack of crates, my phone hidden in the pocket. I find the side entrance of the stage as take 3 is anounced. I crouch down in a runners position at take 5, launching myself at take 6. Michael nears the pyrotechnic and I slam my body into his as it goes off, now missing him by inches. There are screams of terror and shock as we fly through the air, now spun so that I land on my back, Michael on top of me. His brothers quickly help him up and off of me as I am seized by security, doing my best to put as little weight on my now injured ankle as possible. I raise my hands in surrender, trying to think my way out of this. “Look! Look, I can explain all of this, including how I knew that this take wasn’t going to go well. Let me explain and I will never try to contact any of you again!” Everyone around me exchanges glances, deciding whether to trust me or not. Tito steps forward, his eyes full of scrutiny. “Alright girl, explain.” I sigh and grimace in pain. “I can’t do it out here. Too many people. And my evidence of my claims are in my jacket backstage.” He glances back at Michael, nodding in response to his younger brother. I am escorted backstage, am allowed to sit down to relieve my ankle, and I start my story. “I’m from the future, 36 years in the future to be a bit more specific. I’m not crazy.” Michael crouches down in front of me, “If you’re really a time traveler I would love to talk about the future with you!” He’s nudged and given a look from his older brothers, and his smile is dimmed a bit. “But if you’re from the future, wouldn’t you know songs I haven’t released yet?” I nod my head, but I get hit with the issue of Thriller already being released and the “Bad” sessions not yet started for at least another 6 months, if not more. I flip through the collection of Michael songs I know by heart, trying to find one he’s recorded but not yet released. “Oh! I know about “Love never felt so good”! The one you recorded with Paul Anka! I can sing it for you!” I start at the chorus, my brain too frazzled to remember it’s entirety. Everyone else who knows about the song exchanges looks, one brother even shouting questions of how I knew it. “It’s on my phone, and I’m from the future. All your music’s been released. Well, almost all of it. There’s still tracks from your upcoming session that I have yet to find. Here, I can show you.” Lifting myself from my seat, I reach to retrieve my jacket from behind the crates. Everyone watches me with baited breath, wanting to see what the time traveler will pull out next. I pull out my phone and search for the Xscape album. I press play on the original track and Michael's voice rings out from the speaker. I switch it up to “Working Day and Night”, what I was listening to before I got here.
“Look, I can play you anything you’ve already recorded. I just can’t play you anything you haven’t done yet. Those are the rules.” Michael escorts me back to his dressing room to ask me questions about the future since I am no longer seen as crazy. “Are there flying cars ? What about people living in space? Are there aliens?” I giggle at his excitement. “Well, we do have people living in space, it isn’t commercialized yet, so you and I couldn’t go. We don’t have flying cars, but we do have self driving ones. And there are no known aliens yet. Music is accessible though. If I had any service in 1984, I could play you any song any time from anyone. I could listen to “Wanna be Startin Somethin’” for 3 days straight if I wanted to. All I’d have to do is type it in and press play.” His eyes sparkle in awe of the future. He opens his mouth to ask more questions, but Jermaine and another man enters the room before he can get a word out, “Come on Mike, we need to finish the commercial. This is an EMT we had on site, he’s here to fix her ankle.” As Michael leaves his seat, I grab his hand. “Please, don’t let them turn the pyrotechnics back on. Please.” He nods and pats my hand before leaving the room. The EMT removes my new boots and my ankle swells before my eyes, no longer constrained in the tight leather. We make small talk as he works until the commercial is done recording.
#80's imagine#michael jackson x reader#michael jackson#michael jackson imagine#80's x reader#series#80's series#80's fanfiction#time travel au
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674.
have you ever violated school dress code? >> I wasn’t allowed to wear anything that would have violated any school dress codes, so I have no idea how that would have ever happened.
if you are listening to music, is the singer male / female? >> I’m not listening to music.
what [ if anything ] do you give up for Lent? >> I don’t observe Lent.
what phrase leads your mind directly to the gutter? >> I mean, I can’t think of any on command, but there are plenty I come across online and stuff that make me snicker. I just like wordplay, tbh.
when you feel like giving up, how do you convince yourself not to? >> I mean, it’s mostly Can Calah who gives the impassioned arguments in defense of not giving up. I just listen and gripe and wait for his infallible logic to work its magic.
what are your opinions on immigration? >> I don’t have a blanket opinion on immigration. I have no personal issue with individual immigrants, no matter their story. They’re just people to me, who want the same things I want -- to survive, to have their needs met, to make a better life.
would you tell an actual immigrant your views? >> Of course I would, if they were unsure where they stood with me.
what was the subject of the last list you made? >> I don’t remember the last time I made a list.
do you ever get nervous before interviews / important meetings? >> I mean, I would if that was a thing that occurred in my life.
who pays for the majority of your belongings? >> It’s pretty evenly split between me and Sparrow.
would you ever willingly shop in a thrift store? >> Of course...?
what is the most that you would ever spend on an outfit? >> I mean... that depends on many factors, including what the outfit is for and how much money I have.
is there anything you do that just outrages your parents? >> ---
when was the last time you were embarrassed in public? >> I don’t remember.
have you ever won an award you were actually proud of? >> I mean, maybe a long time ago. Doubtful, though.
the importance of education, rate it from 1-10, 10 as most important? explain your choice to rate it as such? >> I rank formal education rather low on my personal importance scale, but I rank informal, interest-based learning very high on my personal importance scale. I love to learn, but I don’t operate well in school settings and actually end up learning less in those settings.
what is the coolest science experiment you've ever done? >> I haven’t done any cool science experiments. :(
are you experiencing difficulties with any friends right now? >> No.
how do you deal with a fight between yourself and a friend? >> I don’t know how to deal with that kind of thing anymore.
when you apologize to someone after a fight, how do you go about saying that you are sorry? >> I haven’t been in this situation in a long time, I don’t know.
have you ever played around with "dry ice"? >> No.
do you think parents are responsible for the actions of their children? >> Of course they are, if we’re talking literal children (not teenagers). It takes some time for a small human to develop the sense of independent reasoning and reckoning of consequence that would allow them to take full responsibility for their actions.
how do you, personally, define music? >> I never really thought about it, it’s one of those concepts where I basically take my understanding of it for granted.
should the military draft take both men AND women? why / why not? >> That’s not a debate I’m willing to get into. I want nothing to do with a draft and I ideally wouldn’t want anyone else to have to deal with getting drafted, actually.
when was the last time that you corrected someone? >> I don’t remember. It was probably something really minor and not a big deal for either party. --Oh yeah I remember now, it was about why Bourbon Street is named Bourbon Street.
when was the last time you were corrected? >> It was also probably about something minor and nbd. I think the last time might have been when I misspelled “Lolth” because believe it or not, I’ve been doing that since 2009. I always misspell it “Lloth”, it’s just what happens.
when did you last say " i told you so "? >> I don’t remember. I try to avoid saying that unless it’s about something funny/silly.
is there any celebrity you like to " keep up with "? >> Not especially. I mean, there are definitely actors and directors that I pay attention to more than others when they get involved in new things, but I always forget to like, keep regular tabs on them or whatever.
celebrity gossip: YAY or BOO? >> Boo.
what is the most life-changing book you have read? >> I couldn’t say. A lot of books I’ve read have had a significant impact on me in some way.
have you had a negative impact on anyone's life? >> Sure.
has anyone had a negative impact on yours? who / why? >> Absolutely. I’m not going to elaborate, the negative impact that others have had on me is both 1) way too lengthy and sensitive to elaborate on and 2) not worth dwelling on right now when I just want to chill and take a survey.
what does marriage mean to you, specifically? >> It means legal recognition of our partnership, which is necessary for things like, say, being each other’s advocates in a medical emergency.
how will you know when you are ready to get married? >> I didn’t bother fretting over whether I was “ready” or not. We’d been living together for a couple of years by the time the topic even came up, it didn’t seem like a weird next step to make.
how much time have you spent contemplating your own death? >> Way more time than is logical, probably.
is there a joke that you just can't stand? >> I mean, probably. There are a lot of insensitive jokes out there.
have you ever read any self-help books? >> Yeah.
what's your take on the obesity problem in america? >> I don’t have a take on it. You know what I do have a take on? The constant social pressure to be thin, and the resultant contagious obsessions with eating the “right” foods, compulsive exercising, and worrying about a number on a scale. Being fat, of all things, shouldn’t be this dramatically frightening or repulsive to people, but that’s what we’re made to believe, and that’s the message we’re all internalising on a daily basis. I’m fucking tired of it. I got enough problems.
what is something you used to love, but now greatly dislike? >> I don’t think I’ve ever flipped that hard on anything. There are things I’ve liked casually that I ended up not caring about later on, but nothing that I loved that I started hating later. I might shift from being obsessed with something to just being chill about it, but that’s it.
what is something you used to dislike, but now like? >> I disliked Metallica as a child.
when ( if ) you become a parent, what will you do differently, compared to how your parents raised you? >> I don’t plan on being a parent, but how I treat children in general is almost directly in contrast to how I was treated as a child. I treat them with respect, I listen to what they have to say, I let them feel their feelings, I show interest in their interests, etc.
do you equate spanking with physical abuse? would you spank a child? >> Let’s just say that I did not ever feel loved or respected when I was spanked. I felt terrified and shameful and being left alone to self-soothe afterwards with no real understanding of why I was being punished so harshly definitely didn’t help. I don’t feel like my understanding of right and wrong was healthily developed by corporal punishment. I don’t see any benefit to it, but I see a lot of harm. So, no. I would not spank a child.
what's the most ridiculous thing you've done this week? >> I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve done anything especially ridiculous?
--- did you regret it / love it / hate it / want to do it again / etc? >> ---
is emotional cheating ( in a relationship ) as bad as physically cheating? >> I have no opinion on this, it’s irrelevant to my life.
if your bf/gf wanted to wait until marriage for sex, would you be willing? >> ---
when you look at the sunset, what do you think about / feel? >> I mean, it all depends, don’t it? I don’t have the exact same thought every time I look at something.
is there someone you wish you could trust / you wish was trustworthy? >> No. I just wish I didn’t have such overdeveloped trust issues.
is there anyone that you no longer want in you life? who / why? >> Well, yeah, and those people are, therefore, no longer in my life.
how has your outlook on life changed in the past few years? >> I’m not sure, I haven’t really kept track.
have you ever walked out of a boring movie ( in theaters )? >> No. I did want to walk out of Infinity War, though. Not because it was boring, but because it was pissing me off. (Also, that was back when Anthony was still around, and he wanted to walk out too.)
how open are you with people you know online? >> It depends on how I know them, what we have in common, how long I’ve known them and to what degree, etc.
what do you think of athletes that take steroids? >> I don’t think about that.
if a celebrity is involved in scandal after scandal, is that likely to effect how you view him/her & his/her work? >> Not really. I barely notice when scandals like that happen, anyway. It also seems like most scandals are just sensationalised overhyped nonsense to get people talking about whoever it is, for publicity, and has nothing to do with, like, the merits of the performer’s art or whatever.
what is one celebrity that you have zero respect for? >> ---
what is one fashion trend that you hope makes a comeback? >> ---
what is one that you wish would just die out already? >> ---
have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol / drugs? >> I don’t drive, period.
are you overly attached to your material possessions? >> No. I can be a bit under-attached, in fact. I’ll throw a thing away in a heartbeat. (This doesn’t apply to like, electronics, or any other expensive thing that I use on a constant basis. But like, t-shirts, books, toys, novelty items, other shit that ends up just taking up space and collecting dust? Bye.)
have you ever ridiculed anyone for their clothing choices? >> Not since I was a teenager, most likely.
living in poverty: what do you think it'd be like? >> I... I have lived in poverty. Poverty is my default state of existence. I don’t really know what to tell you about “what it’s like”. What’s it like to not be poor?
what is one " diet " that you think is just utterly worthless? >> All of them are worthless to me.
what advice would you give someone that is uncomfortable with his or her body / appearance? >> I wouldn’t give them advice. Advice is what the entire world is going to try to give them. I’d imagine they’d be tired of advice (unless they’re specifically asking me for it, I guess). But I’ll always have a “mood” or “I know that feel” to offer, because... yeah. Same. The shit sucks and there’s no easy way out of it.
what advice would you give someone about to start high school? >> I don’t even want to think about that phase of life, I’ll pass.
what foreign food are you NOT interested in trying? >> *shrug*
what foreign country do you believe is misunderstood? >> I mean, I don’t know. USian attitudes towards and assumptions about a lot of countries are... misinformed at best.
have you ever felt entirely unwanted and alone? >> Yeah.
in your eyes, which is worse: rape or murder? >> Nope, don’t care.
do you understand / read shakespeare? >> I have never been able to grok Shakespeare, and I’m not interested enough to keep trying.
would you feel comfortable living with someone that owned a gun? >> Most likely not. Luckily, that’s not likely to happen.
do you know anyone that lives in a foreign country? >> I mean, yeah, I use the internet.
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Adventures in Becoming Esme Gigi Genevieve Squalor
For Halloween this year, I have convinced my beautiful friend J or @jebug29 (who you all may or may not remember from the original “Count Olaf is a power bottom” post) to accompany me as the Count Olaf to my Esme. While finding his costume has been relatively simple (we found a good portion of this costume at the local thrift store because Olaf isn’t incredibly hard to dress and will mainly be a challenge with prosthetic facial hair), mine has displayed some difficulties.
I’ve decided to record them, along with my thoughts and feelings on the matter, and will release this post after all is said and done.
-
Chapter 1
After getting J’s clothes all for under 5 dollars, I also found a GIGANTIC martini glass to use as a prop. I love it. I didn’t buy a second one for J, but he can use my wine glass.
Olaf’s more a wine guy anyway.
We also did technically find a pinstripe blazer I could use, but unfortunately I had too copious amount of titty for it, so no go.
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Chapter 2
J has fallen in love with the Gunther disguise.
Hate to let the guy down, but ya girl doesn’t have Gunther disguise money (I’m the only one funding this little venture because to be fair I pestered poor J into this), so he’ll have to settle for regular Count Olaf despite the fact the Gunther is technically more thematically appropriate.
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Chapter 3
Checking Amazon just in case we continue to have poor luck at the thrift store.
It has come to my attention that J and I may need to contemplate actually stealing a fortune.
Esme is an expensive bitch.
The first pinstripe suit came up at $119!
1-800-fuck-that.
So, we’re gonna compromise and try to just buy a pinstripe blazer and pair it with a plain skirt I already have (plus the accessories and make-up I already had prepared)
I mean, I still gotta buy a blonde wig and J’s cosmetics, after all.
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Chapter 4
Amazon: Oh! We have a pinstripe blazer in your price range!
Me: Really?!
Amazon: Sure! ...For anyone with a significantly smaller bust size than you :)
Me:...
Me: *singing* There are no happy endings. Not here and not now~ This tale’s full of sorrows and woes~
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Chapter 5
I FOUND THE PERFECT THING ON AMAZON AT A REASONABLE PRICE! A WHITE PINSTRIPE SUIT WITH BODYCON DRESS THAT LOOKS ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE ESME WORE ON THE SHOW!
But then I tried to put in in my cart and those motherfuckers told me it wouldn’t show up until DECEMBER. So, back the square one.
FUCK!
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Chapter 6
I’m screaming. This shit’s expensive and it may not even get here in time.
At least I found a nice wig?
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Chapter 7
Did you guys know that when you ask for a costume unibrow every online shopping thing thinks you want a Rick Sanchez costume?
Because I do now
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Chapter 8
You know, this would be a hell of a lot easier if the original Series of Unfortunate Events movie didn’t suck an entire ass and got the same fame that Harry Potter managed.
Everybody just take a moment to imagine that timeline.
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Chapter 9
Ok, here’s the haps, peeps.
Still no luck on the blazer. I found one, but it wouldn’t actually arrive until the 30th, so no.
However, I did manage to get myself a blonde wig and stuff to make J’s facial hair Olaf-approved!
I’m gonna make the unibrow out of costume mustaches and spirit gum (you know, that stuff cosplayers use to stick the side pieces of their wigs to their heads so it looks more real) and I bought a goatee set that should work well too.
In this house, we improvise!
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Chapter 10
I also got myself some new matches to use as a prop and also for personal use.
(I find striking matches calming)
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Chapter 11
Me: Oh look! I found another blazer!
Me:...
Me: What the fuck do you mean you don’t deliver to P.O. Boxes?
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Chapter 12
My matches are here
Also the stuff for J’s eyebrow and facial hair
and my absolutely beautiful wig
Hot damn!
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Chapter 13
I FINALLY FOUND IT!
NOT ONLY DID I FIND A BEAUTIFUL PINSTRIPE BLAZER, I FOUND AN ENTIRE PINSTRIPE SUIT IN MY SIZE!
We just needed a bigger thrift store!
We also got J some new suit pants so both of our costumes are finally complete!
Hopefully my next update will be the reveal!
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Chapter 14
I know I said the next update would be the reveal, but this exchange was too funny:
J: *trying on the jacket for my pinstripe suit for some reason*
J: *struggling* The buttons are on the wrong side.
Me: Yeah, it’s a women’s jacket.
J: Oh.
J: *horrified realization that we bought a women’s blazer for his Count Olaf costume*
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Chapter 15
J has been growing his hair out so it’ll be easier for me to style his hair into Olaf’s devil horns.
Ya know, these little things:
(Tbh, I do that to his hair at every chance because I find it hilarious and it makes me happy, along with his Count Olaf voice.)
He didn’t really need to do that, but God I love my friends.
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Chapter 16
8 hours before the Halloween party:
I have not started getting dressed yet.
J decided to try on his costume and has realized his shirt is also a women’s shirt.
I had to tie his ascot for him.
Then he tried to go eat sushi dressed as Count Olaf.
I proceeded to tell him to not do that and put his costume on later after we’ve all eaten dinner and won’t be sitting around waiting for hours.
- Chapter 17: The Reveal!
(Please don’t judge too harshly)
After preparing for months (and spending more money than I’d like to admit) I finally had a proper Esme Gigi Genevieve Squalor!
Cute necklace right?
Full-body picture taken by J, who is a hilarious photographer.
Finally a costume where I can incorporate my tattoo! (Though I filled in the iris and pupil)
And, of course I had my Count Olaf: @jebug29
Ya’ll, I’m actually hella proud of the job I did on his fail hair. Hot damn!
A selfie he took with my phone
Why does he look so sad???
His “tattoo”. To be fair, I had less space to work with than what I thought.
And some pictures of the two of us together:
A toast to murder and arson
Idk why J’s back is to the camera, but I look cute.
And finally us posing with the picture J drew of us as Olaf and Esme
And to those of you wondering: Yes, I won that bet with my roommate.
#asoue#a series of unfortunate events#esme gigi genevieve squalor#esme squalor#count olaf#long post is long
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If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? Yes. I don’t know if I could do that, but I do want to cut it really short. I can’t manage the long hair right now. Do you live by a forest? No. How old are your parents? They’re in their mid and late 50s. What do you prefer: Small cars, hybrids, trucks or SUVs? Like a typical 4-door car such as a Honda or something. What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? I haven’t read a book that like really scared me I don’t think.
Do your parents drink? My dad enjoys a beer. My mom very rarely drinks, maybe for a holiday and she’ll have like one. Does downloading music without paying make you feel guilty? It did, but it didn’t seem to stop me ha. Man, I haven’t done that in yearssss. Do you have any pet fish? Nope. What’s your favorite seafood to eat? Ew, none. Does your house have air conditioning? Yes. Name the creepiest horror movie character for you: Ghostface, ever since I was a kid. I was horrified of him, and I still think his design is mega creepy. <<< Omg, he terrified me as a kid, too! I used to have a recurring nightmare about him chasing me around with the knife. It’s funny cause now I love horror movies and he’s one of my faves lol. How many college degrees do you want? I have the one that’s just collecting dust, I don’t want more. Do you like animals? Yes, absolutely. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yeah. What do you wear to sleep? My pjs are the same type of clothes I wear during the day: leggings and oversized graphic tees. How many keys do you carry with you? One. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Both are pretty important. Have you ever been covered in mud? No. Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, but that would be amazing. Ever lost your voice? Yeah, I’ve had laryngitis a few times. It’s been several years since I’ve had that, though. I feel like that was a more common thing growing up, but I haven’t encountered anyone that has had it in a long time. Do you take your time when making an important decision? I take a lot of time going over and over it. Are you a cautious person? Yes. Do you chew gum? I haven’t in a long time, but sure.
What makeup product do you never use? I haven’t worn any makeup at all for the past few years. Have you ever been offered drugs on the street? I have, actually. Have you ever seen a jellyfish? Only at aquariums. <<< Do you ever put bread in your soup? I sometimes have a sandwich with my ramen and I dunk it in there. It’s so good. Do you want some soup? Not soup, but I do love ramen. I eat some every night. Is there anything in the USB key slots in your computer/laptop? Yeah, my iPhone and Beats wireless earbuds chargers. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? My cousins and I have done that as kids when we had sleepovers. Have you ever done that to someone else? ^^^ Is there any TV show you watch religiously? Yeah, there’s several I keep up with. Do you like the window seat or aisle seat on an airplane? The few times I’ve flown I was in the middle. Has anyone ever really insulted you? Yes. Do you ever make banana sandwiches? Peanut butter and banana sandwiches are delicious. I haven’t had one in years, but perhaps I should soon cause that sounds good now. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Sweeney Todd is one that comes to mind. Did your parents teach you how to cook/bake when you were growing up? I helped out with baking sometimes as a kid. I never had an interest in really learning to cook, though. If you could own any three fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show) That’s too much to think about and I don’t feel like it, ha. What’s the shortest amount of time you’ve worked somewhere? I’ve never had a job, so. Have you ever negotiated a pay raise? -- Have you ever been a victim of identity theft? No, thankfully. Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services? Yes. What is your favorite smell/scent? I have several that I don’t feel like listing, especially since I’ve done so many times before in surveys. How long can you run without stopping? I don’t have the energy or strength for any running right now that’s for sure. What age do you want to live to? I don’t know. Have you ever been infatuated with someone and you didn’t even know why? Yes. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No, just aftershocks. Is your more photogenic side your left or right? I don’t have a photogenic side. Do you currently owe money to anyone? No. If you were ever to be on the news, what would you want it to be for? I’ve been on the news, but it was for my accident. It was covered when it happened and then awhile after like a follow-up. What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? I don’t drive. Have you ever donated blood? Have you ever done a blood test? I’ve never donated, but I’ve had countless blood tests throughout my life. Have you been inside of a burning building? What happened? No, thankfully I have not. Do you believe in astrology/horoscopes? Nope. Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? Yes. Have you been in a car accident? What happened? No. Have you ever lived alone? No. Have you ever been stung by a bee? Nope. Have you ever bought stuff at a thrift store? Yes. What was your very first email address? Back in the late 90s when we got our first computer I was like a big fan of Jim Carrey and I remember it being something like mrsjimarrey or something lmaooooo. I don’t know why as a kid I was such a fan of his. I used to watch The Mask all the time and could like quote the entire movie. How often do you take naps? Just about every day. <<< Yeah, these days especially I’ve been doing a lot of that. Have you ever won a game of pool? I’ve never played a game of pool. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? No, but that sounds absolutely terrifying. Have you been in a long-distance relationship? No. Have you swam in the ocean? Nooo. I love the beac and being near the ocean, but no way am I ever getting in it. I can’t swim and I have a fear of deep water. Have you gone ziplining? No. Have you been rock climbing? No. Have you hitchhiked? Uh, hell no. Never. Have you had stitches? Where? Yeah, many times. I’ve has several surgeries. Have you ridden in a taxi? What about an Uber/Lyft? Taxies and Ubers. Have you ridden on a horse? No. Have you taken part in a protest? What for? I haven’t. Have you ever signed a petition? Yeah. Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? I’ve never had a job. Have you ever given someone else a haircut? Nooo. I would not do that and mess up someone’s hair. Back when I had bangs I used to trim them myself sometimes, but that was the most I risked doing. I wouldn’t do that or anything more on someone else. What is the longest your hair has been? Currently, it goes down to my butt. Have you ever been stranded because your car broke down? Not really stranded, but yeah I’ve been in situations before when our car broke down and we just called someone we knew to give us a jump or get it towed. Have you performed on stage? What did you do? For school choir and band concerts. Have you ever used a tanning bed? What about tanning spray? Nope. How do you prefer to celebrate your birthday? I’m all about super low-key, chill birthdays. Who is the best cook that you know? My parents and brother. Do you believe in Bigfoot? What about the Loch Ness Monster? No. Do your friends tend to be male or female? Female. If you could change anything about human nature, what would it be? No violence or hate would be nice. Have you ever fainted? No. What skills would you like to learn? I’d like to have a skill at least, ha. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Huh? Like stuffed animals and stuff? If so, then giraffes. They’re all over my room. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don’t, but I have in the past and tried different ways and probably just the typical way. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? -- Are there any flowers planted outside your house? Yeah. Do you have a favourite outfit that you like to wear for nights out? I don't have "nights out." <<< Haven’t had those in a very long time. When you have a soft drink, do you prefer it in a bottle or can? I like either one. Who was the last person to embarrass you? What did they do? I’m just a constant embarrassment to myself. When you’re upset, do you tend to comfort eat or lose your appetite? I lose my appetite. Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? Does/did that person go to the same school as you? My aunt and no. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? No. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Yes, he has blue eyes. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? The Golden Girls theme song is a classic.
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Hi everyone! As many of you may already know, Amsterdam is like a place I feel like home. This city is well… gold! Lacking for better words to say this simply 😉 As I was chatting via Instagram with the lovely Chloé (@chloe_mrnr), who is going to visit for the first time the Venice of the West, I was giving her my own Amsterdam city guide so I might as well share the tips with you all.
Amsterdam Centraal
Amsterdam Canal View from Amsterdam Centraal
Ok, so where would you like to start the city tour? If you are arriving by train (like me most of the times), then you are getting off from Amsterdam Central. Make sure to head outside to be mesmerized by the train station architecture once out there and you will quickly grab a sight on beautiful canals, the white and blue tram railing by, and among other things a handful of tourists. Your eyes will also intercept from a distance the church of Saint Nicholas and some covered gallery shops.
Keep walking over the canals and see from a distance the Saint Nicholas Church
Inside of Saint Nicholas Church. Free entrance!
Look at these colorful buildings hanging over the canal!
Amsterdam Centraal from a short walking distance away, admire this architecture!
Then, as you are walking further away from Amsterdam Centraal, there is the notorious Red Light District area with funky empty shops by day but at night fall, this neighborhood gets seriously busy. I still recall the awkwardness I felt when I visited this area with my mom the first time a few years back where she was describing each woman behind those recognizable red light windows as they were lacking of something she would call “normal”. I couldn’t help than laughing at this precious moment with her by having her refusing to be convinced that women are made of a variety of shapes and colors just like the sweet skittles we enjoy so much. Euhh sorry for this poor comparison, ok then I’ll skip there! Shall we?
Amsterdam is very simple to navigate through: walk, hop on the tram, or do as the Dutch; bike everywhere! The city is divided into 4 areas and I’ll start clockwise from the North West.
The North West:
Toki is a fav local coffee shop (but don’t you worry! There is business there. I just happened to take a photo when it was closed).
The street of Haarlemmerdijk is where there is lots of tiny independent designer boutiques along with delicious bakeries that have window glasses where everyone can drool over the artful pastries, delicious sandwiches, and you gotta check out all the variety of fresh Dutch bread. The locals can be proud of their breads but also the coffee is quite remarkable. One of the locals’ fav is Toki (Binnen Dommersstraat 15, 1013 HK Amsterdam), where I’d meet up with friend Kimberley (@theotherway) for coffee and cake!
Meet Kimberley! (@theotherway)
Kimberley is one of the very first Dutch women I met during my first visit to the Netherlands! Let me just start by saying that she set a very high standard for other Dutch folks haha. She is one of the sweetest and kindest person I know. I still recall meeting her over in Eindhoven de Burger (5, Kerkstraat, 5611 GH Eindhoven), where she had waited for me (Sorry!) then surprised me with the world renown Dutch Stoop waffles from Albert Heijn (a typical Dutch grocery store should you need anything) and some other goodies. I still have so many stories to share about our meet ups but let’s save it for some other post 😉
Kimberley street style is always impeccable! I wonder how she does it?!
I love strolling these streets, wouldn’t you?
A great place for a brunch is The Breakfast Club (Haarlemmerplein 31, 1013 HR Amsterdam) where Kimberley likes her pancakes haha. I also recommend strolling through the street of Haarlemmerplein where there are those tiny boutiques and lots of greens and flowers sprouting here and there in front porches of the apartments. I think it’s an Amsterdam signature landscape.
The Breakfast Club for brunch is delicious!
The Breakfast Club
Sorry, I couldn’t help to creep snapped a photo of these Dutch girls as they wore the exact same things as I was and found that twinning was funny (striped top, jeans, and Celine trio) 😉
Other great coffee spot is Café Thijssen (Brouwersgracht 107, 1015 GD Amsterdam) but also great for late night bites. This is where I met up on the terrace with friend Nikki (@sartreuse). After shopping, you may get great pizzas at de Pizzabakkers (Haarlemmerdijk 128, 1013 JJ Amsterdam).You must check out the Movies (Haarlemmerdijk 161, 1013 KH Amsterdam)! Aside from catching a movie, you can have a romantic dinner too!
Meet Nicki (@sartreuse)
de PizzaBakkers is a fav local place!
And the pizzas are delicious at de PizzaBakkers 🙂
at The Movies
At the Movies is a place for movies but food too!!
Some interesting architecture
The North:
In the Northern area, it’s easy to find A’dam Toren (Overhoeksplein 23-B, 1031 KS Amsterdam) because it’s a very tall modernistic building. There, take the elevator which has cool light shows (each elevator gives a different experience) all the way to the 20th floor and the observatory deck offers a sweeping 360º view over Amsterdam and the river and if you ain’t afraid of heights and seeking a thrilling experience then you can try to get on the red sensational swings where you get to be propelled in the air over the edge of the building. A tad bit scary in my opinion! There is good ambiance there for night out with drinks and clubs. Downstairs though, there is the Butcher for burgers and fish chips with a beautiful bar setup right in the middle of an arcade. For culture, nearby there is the EYE Filmmuseum (IJpromenade 1, 1031 KT Amsterdam).
Sweeping view of Amstedam from A’dam Toren penthouse
Not afraid of heights, then try out these swings at the A’dam Toren! It’s the highest swing in Europe!
The Butcher’s Fish n Chips and yummy burger
The Butcher Bar overlooking at the river has an arcade there
The East:
On my last trip, I went to this English place for brunch at Bakers & Roasters (Kadijksplein 16, 1018 AC Amsterdam) to meet with Kimberley and Silvana (@saisonlune). In need for green space, there are Hortus Botanicus (Plantage Middenlaan 2a, 1018 DD Amsterdam) and the Oosterparkbuurt. Oh check out the Skylounge for a great view and a great drink (Oosterdoksstraat 4, 1011 DK Amsterdam). After a visit to the park, there is time for shopping at the Waterlooplein Market (Waterlooplein 2, 1011 AL Amsterdam).
Bakers & Roasters
Bakers & Roasters’ crumble eggs and green juice are delicious. Very friendly staff!
Oosterparkbuurt is very relaxing
WaterloopleinMarkt
WaterloopleinMarkt has lots of jewelry, interior decor, and more!
The South:
Park Museumsplein
Rijksmuseum
Rijksmuseum
This is the cultured area where we have many museums to visit like Van Gogh Museum and the beautiful Rijksmuseum. Don’t forget to take a break in between and stroll around the Park Museumsplein for a break. Are you now ready to shop, then go to Albert Cuyp Market (Albert Cuypstraat, 1073 BD Amsterdam).
Ok, now the real break to me is here at the Sweet Cup (Lange Leidsedwarsstraat 93HS, 1017 NH Amsterdam) where they make the best coffee in town in my mind. But then, others might say the Bocca Coffee (Kerkstraat 96HS, 1017 GP Amsterdam) is better maybe because the baristas are hotties. Hmmm I don’t really know why would some people think this place serves coffee best haha.
Bocca
Bocca coffees
Wait, there is far more so if you need to stay over the night, the Hoxton (Herengracht 255, 1016 BJ Amsterdam)!! There is great breakfast with yummy avocado toasts and carrot juice, and some cool kitchen to host parties like this wine tasting tour I once attended.
The Hoxton Bar
The Hoxton brunch!
If you are in the mood for shopping in quirky boutiques in this area, go along de 9 Straatjes (Wolvenstraat 9, 1016 EM Amsterdam). But I also personally like to stop by my fav designer spots such as Loves Stories for the sleepwear, and Filippa K for the essential wear.
When dinner time is ringing, I’d go to San George (Stadhouderskade 7, 1054 ES Amsterdam). The staffs speak loud Italian and the pasta is just beyond words can describe. See the pics for yourself! But I also recall my double date with Silvana here at Caffe Restaurant Panini (Vijzelgracht 3, 1017 HM Amsterdam) a while ago.
San George pastas are delicious!
The West:
The Breakfast Club Brunch!
Some of my favorite things to do in Amsterdam are if you haven’t already noticed eat and drink hahaha which may explain the weight gained. To satisfy my taste bud, thanks goodness there is Foohallen (Bellamyplein 51, 1053 AT Amsterdam) where anyone can find whatever he or she desires (sushi, small bites of tapas, sandwiches, beers, wine, cocktails, tacos, and even ramen). I last went with my frenchies Jo, Adrien, and Yohann. If you like thrifting and need art works for the interiors, I’m sure you will like de Hallen (Hannie Dankbaarpassage 47, 1053 RT Amsterdam).
Foodhallen
Ramen & Beer!
Back to The Center:
Jordaan District (Rozengracht 76I, 1016 NE Amsterdam) I think is really cool! The narrow canals and streets there are filled with indie boutiques, cozy pubs and hipster eateries. At Noordermarkt square market there are stalls that sell jewelry, clothes, antiques and even organic food. But this is not just for the hipsters, there are also galleries in the area for innovative contemporary art. Other attractions include the Houseboat Museum and the Amsterdam Cheese Museum. Hmm must have Gouda cheese! But I also like Waterlooplein Market (Waterlooplein 2, 1011 AL Amsterdam) for more second hand stuff and quirky finds. And if you are hungry (like me, I’m hungry all the time!!!), Cut Throat is a barber shop brunch & Bar (Beursplein 5, 1012 JW Amsterdam) where the beau gets his hair done while I get food and drinks haha.
At Cut Throat
Cut Throat Brunch
If you can’t get enough of Amsterdam yet, supplemental guides can be found below just for you my friends:
Handy Guide: iamsterdam
Handy Book for the foodies: The Amsterdam Gourmet
Amsterdam Hi everyone! As many of you may already know, Amsterdam is like a place I feel like home.
#Amsterdam#Brunch#City Break#City Guide#Coffee Shops#Europe#Life#The Breakfast Club#The Netherlands#Travel
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I’m so tired. I keep almost falling asleep laying here. So I’m going to get this up quick so it’s alright if I get some rest. Today was a good day. I slept okay last night the pillows on this bed still suck but it’s fine. I woke up at 930 and was very confused because it was dark in here. It was like wicked foggy outside. Creepy. But it was fine. I went to go get ready but I got distracted and went to lay in the living room and talk to mom. Sweetp and Molly aren’t exactly getting along but it’s not as bad as last night. Sweetp is calming down and Molly just wants to be friends. It’ll all be okay. Me and mom decided to leave around 1030 and so I went to go get dressed. I felt real cute today. I had this great 90s mall baby look going on and I was very pleased. I wore heart earrings and turned out mom did too. Cute. It had started to rain. But thats okay. Mom and me went to McDonald’s first and then over to the thrift store. They were having a store wide sale. I got a pretty pair of enamel earrings I’m going to turn into a necklace. We found some creepy broken dolls. Some pretty civil war looking dolls. A whole bunch of lions. I found a pretty glass apple. I picked up a couple pairs of pj pants. I finally found a 3 quarter zip pull over! It was fun just hanging out with mom though. Making fun of stuff. It was good. We went and got groceries next. A little old man parked in the middle of 2 spots and it was very funny and then there were preteens with their mom making a big deal about it and it was very silly. I got free samples of canoli chips and I liked it so much and so we picked them up. We got all the stuff we needed for Christmas day and left not long after that. It want raining to much anymore. Still foggy and stuff but not so gross. Once we got home I chilled in bed for a bit. Jess texted me that she wasn’t feeling so good and didn’t think she could go to the movies. Which is totally fine. But we could still hang out. So around 230 Jess and her mom came and got me. Poor Jess was loosing her voice. But we were determined to have a good time. We exhanged gifts. She seemed to really like what I got her. 2 NYC posters, 2 cat chopstick rests, and a crayola calculator. And I love what she got for me. A surprise pack of photos from the 50s and 70s. They were even christmas photos! A letter keychain I had wanted for a while. A bear shaped dish/tray. Bat clothes pins. And a little ring stand that looks like a polar bear. I love it so much. Jess knows me so well. We headed out not long after that. Jess still wasn’t feeling great but she struggled through. We went to feeney’s which is a fancy outdoor store. We enjoyed the christmas displays and even got our photo taken with Santa. It was a lot of fun. We made a stop at five below so I could get new chargers. And then we went to the mall. The parking lot there was very full but the mall wasn’t the crowded. We walked around. Waved at their Santa. Went and said hi to her sister in law who works at the game store. And then went to find a photo booth which was our whole reason to be there. We found 3. The first one was weird and didn’t have normal prints. And then the 2nd wouldn’t work. So we ended up at the farthest one near the movie theater. All good. But Jess isn’t feeling good and looks a bit pained in some of the pics. But we still look cute. We left there and went to get dinner. This is where Jess started having trouble breathing and I got really concerned. But we had our food and enjoyed each others company but I was very worried. Jess took me home and I made sure she let me know when she got home. Didn’t want her in a ditch somewhere. I hope she feels better fast. I’m going to go take a shower now. I can’t believe tomorrow is Christmas eve. I think most of the day will just be resting. And then dinner and church. Im hoping we can go to the live nativity. I hope you all sleep well tonight and stay safe out there. Goodnight everyone!
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ccxxv.
What kind of makeup do you think is appropriate for church? >> The kind that makes one the most comfortable to wear.
What would you wear to church? >> I wear anything I want to church. None of my clothes are blatantly inappropriate church attire except for a couple of band shirts.
Would/Do you like having brown eyes? >> Having brown eyes is fine with me.
Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? >> I sure do.
Could you live without the internet? >> I’d survive, I’m sure, but internet access enriches my life in ways that I find indispensable. I would be loath to give that up.
Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? >> I bought three people Christmas gifts, and about ten people got cards.
Do you have a Christmas tree in your house now? >> Yes.
How do you feel when someone hates on Apple? >> Understanding.
Do you have an Iphone? If so, which one? >> I don’t.
Favorite flavor of jello? >> I like cherry.
I see. Do you have long toes? >> Not any longer than anyone else’s, I don’t think.
What’s something someone said to you that bothered you? >> I can’t remember anything off the top of my head.
What is one of your favorite compliments to receive? >> Anything regarding my fiction.
Do you compliment other random people? >> Occasionally.
Could you see yourself buying a truck as your go to vehicle? >> I could see that, yes.
What kind of car do you want? Something less than $100,000. >> A Tesla Model 3.
What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? >> I’d appreciate being given a gift, period. Books are nice, if we must be specific.
Can you type fast? >> Sure.
Can you type without looking at the letters? >> Yes.
Did you take typing classes? >> I was self-taught. I think I might have had a few half-hearted attempts at typing classes in my school career, but I didn’t pay them much attention since I already knew how.
What do you use Facebook for? >> Lately, as a meme repository (and a login device, since a lot of websites have that “login through facebook” feature and I’ve used it enough times that keeping an account is necessary). I find a lot of things about facebook -- format wise and content wise -- to be more trouble than it’s worth.
What do you look like in your profile picture? >> On facebook? I look like me sitting by the river.
Do you love cartoons? >> Sure.
Name a band that you like. >> Vanden Plas.
Name a band you don’t like. >> Mumford & Sons.
Name a genre of music you don’t like? >> Bluegrass.
What genre of music do you listen to around the house? >> No specific genre.
You think it’s wrong to tell a person ____. >> That they should off themselves because of some perceived moral failing.
What kind of compliments have you given? >> No specific kind.
Would you rather give or receive? >> ---
Do you paint your own nails? >> Yes.
Do you like acrylic nails? >> No.
What is your favorite red lipstick? >> I don’t have one.
What are your favorite colors to wear? >> Black, gold, green.
What colors do you NOT wear? >> I don’t wear white, but that’s mostly because wearing white makes me paranoid about getting it dirty. I think black people in white is a compelling aesthetic. Maybe I’ll get over the paranoia one day.
Where do you shop for most of clothes? >> Amazon, Hot Topic, Rue 21-type stores, Plato’s Closet, thrift shops.
What are your favorite clothing stores/shops? >> I don’t know if I have any. All clothing stores manage to disappoint me in some way eventually.
What kind of shoes do you like? >> Boots.
Describe your style in one word. >> Eclectic.
Describe your current personality in one or two words. >> I’m not sure I can do that.
What is your opinion on weed? >> I enjoy it and I think other people should be able to enjoy it (or abstain from it) at their leisure.
Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? >> Yes, which is why I refuse to experience it.
What are your favorite bottoms to wear? >> Pajama bottoms, rave pants, Gap jeans, long layered skirts.
Do you like dresses? >> I do, but I’m particular about the kinds I’ll wear.
Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork? >> It doesn’t matter to me.
Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? >> Some with a fork, some with a spoon. Depends on the consistency of the cake.
What age will you be next? >> 31.
Did you graduate high school? >> I did.
Do you make youtube videos? If so, leave your URL >> I used to take video surveys. That was wild.
Do you flat iron your hair? >> No.
What physical features do you wish you had? ( name 2 ). >> Ram horns and a big dick.
Would you ever get plastic cosmetic surgery? >> Probably not. (Also, I’m being facetious about the big dick. It just sounded funny. Dead ass serious about the ram horns, though.)
Ever broken a bone? >> No.
What are your favorite youtube videos to watch? >> Music videos, Honest Trailers, and stuff like School of Life.
What is your favorite sex position? ;) >> Definitely missionary.
Do you like red lipstick? >> Sure.
What color will you paint your nails next? >> I don’t know yet. I need some new colours. I desperately need a good vibrant shimmery gold.
What is one of your favorite Disney movies? >> Hunchback of Notre Dame.
If you could meet a real life Disney character who would it be? >> Tia Dalma, hands down.
Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? >> No.
Do you like to play computer games a lot? >> Yes.
Are you a sore loser? >> Not usually.
What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? >> ---
What is your beer of choice? >> I’ll always go for something by Founder’s, Abita, or Leinenkugel.
What do you plan to buy next? >> Probably groceries, and maybe a couple of things for my room.
Do you like shopping? >> Not especially, but I try to find ways to make it less boring/aggravating.
What is one of your favorite things to do on the weekend? >> Hm.
Here, I’m giving you $500 dollars to one store, where would you spend it? >> Let’s just go for Amazon and call it a day.
Would you look good in a Beatle car? >> I’d look good in any kind of car, I’m sure.
Do you play slug bug? >> Sometimes.
What kind of computer are on? >> Normandy is a Lenovo IdeaPad.
You are attracted to ___. >> Where do I even begin.
Do you like glitter? >> I like looking at it sometimes, but I don’t like having it all over me (which is what inevitably happens any time you even think about glitter).
Have you ever owned a Quija board? >> No.
Do you like to text? >> Meh. I prefer instant messaging, especially since that means I can use my computer keyboard.
If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? >> Let’s stay on-brand and go with spider.
Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? >> Dry.
What kind of shampoo do you use? Be specific. >> I use OGX’s teatree and mint conditioner.
Do you have acne? >> No.
You’re glad that you don’t ___. >> have to do anything specific tomorrow.
You’re glad that you do ___. >> have a new library book to read.
Your favorite cuss word? >> I guess “fuck”.
Are you obsessed with any superheros? >> I’m really into Doc Strange.
Do you read comic books? >> Sure.
Do you like the Sunday paper and why or why not? >> I have no opinion on the Sunday papers.
Do you have cable? >> No.
What’s a show you wish that was still on air? >> I wish Carnivale had gotten to run its full course.
Do you listen to the radio at all? >> Not unless it’s playing in the car.
Do you like hip hop? >> Sure do.
Do you like pretzels? >> The big soft ones. But I’ll eat a few of the small crunchy ones too, if they’re there.
Do you like snow? >> Yeah.
What’s your favorite thing about your favorite season? Name the season. >> I am currently in the market for a new favourite season.
Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. >> Ley lines.
Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? >> Frogs.
And your lastname. >> Dryads.
Do you have pets? If so, what and what are their names? >> I personally don’t, no.
You want your next pet to be what? >> I’m not even sure I personally like the idea of pets anymore. (Human ones aside, I suppose--)
Are you a religious person? >> Yes.
Do you like pina coladas? >> I’ve never had one.
Do you like coconut scents? >> BPAL’s Elegba fragrance has coconut in it, and at first I was like “hrm...” but it works. Anyway, I like coconut circumstantially. Sometimes it’s just too much, but sometimes it just works.
What is your favorite Bath and Body Works candles? >> ---
Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? >> Eh, I can get candles I like for cheaper than that, so probably not.
What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? >> I’m not sure.
Do you look in the mirror a lot? >> Nah.
Do you brush your teeth twice a day everyday? >> No, once.
What brand of toothpaste do you use? >> Tom’s of Maine.
What is a dessert that you DON’T like? >> Chocolate cake.
And one that you love? >> Tiramisu. --Dammit, I accidentally left the rest of my tiramisu and Chinese food at Sparrow’s parents’ house! >:|
Twilight or Harry Potter? >> I prefer HP to Twilight.
Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? >> I don’t think either of those would suit me very well.
About how many times do you fart in a day? >> I mean, I don’t count or anything.
I see… well… what is your favorite angry music? >> I don’t know.
Do you have a favorite number? >> Nine...? You know, I think I’m just going to settle on nine for a number. It’s eight plus one (and eight is my dad’s number, so that makes a kind of sense), and it’s in nineteen, and there are some mythological connotations to consider. Eight’s a really good number too, though. But maybe I’ll go with nine. Nine will be mine.
Had a crush on somebody that every1 around u thought was ugly? >> Sure.
Are you happy with your physical features? >> Most of the time.
P.E or Math? >> Math.
Math or Science? >> Hm.
Creative Writing or Art? >> Creative Writing.
When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? >> Spirals, shapes. Little dancing stick figures.
What is something that you like that is really cheap in price? >> Incense from Sleeping Bear or whatever the name of that mall store is.
What is something that you like that is kind of expensive? >> Travel.
What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? >> Depends on where my head is at. I’ve done everything from laugh to ignore to fly off the handle.
Do you argue with your significant other a lot? >> No.
Have you ever had a really painful breakup? >> Yes.
Which is better smoking or vaping? >> I assume vaping is less risky.
Do you write in print or cursive? >> Mostly print, for legibility, but I enjoy writing in script.
Do you have neat handwriting? >> It’s gotten less neat over the years, since I’m always on the computer. But it’s still quite legible most of the time, I think. I just have to get the fluidity back into it.
What do you like to write with? >> Pentel Flair type pens.
Do you keep a journal/diary? >> I keep a dreamwidth, and sometimes I even update it.
You should. Do you eat salads? >> Yes.
What do you like in your salad? If you do. If not, what is 1+1? >> Multiple types of greens, a bit of vinaigrette, a little feta, something crunchy like onion or celery or chip shards or small crackers. Pieces of apple is nice too.
If you HAD to change your eyecolor, what would you change it to? >> Hazel.
What would you not change it to? >> Blue. Although it’d be funny from a Deschain point of view.
What is one of your favorite colors? >> Dusky purple.
Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don’t say in between. >> I definitely prefer being dark.
Favorite thing to do on your phone? >> Animal Crossing Pocket Camp, Bejeweled, reading ebooks.
What magazines do you like? >> New Scientist and Revolver.
What is your favorite book? >> I can’t possibly choose anymore.
What is your favorite thing about Christmas? >> The music.
I’m giving a ticket to wherever you want, where would you go? >> New Orleans.
Here’s $5, what do you do with it? >> Right now, nothing. I’d probably use it for a snack at the gas station during one of my walks.
Cool. Cool. Favorite flavor of Ice Cream? >> Butter pecan, I guess.
Least favorite flavor of ice cream? >> Anything chocolate.
Do you prefer white or black electronics? >> Black.
What is your favorite deodorant? >> I like the smell of my lavender one.
Are you a good kisser ( make out )? >> I like to think so.
A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? >> Recoil and fight my way out of it.
Do your eyes tear up when you’re nervous? >> No.
Have you ever gotten the shakes in public? >> Sure.
What do you like to order from Starbucks? >> Eh.
Vanilla or Chocolate? >> Vanilla.
Apples or Bananas? >> Apples.
Fruit or Veggies? >> Veggies.
Water or Milk? >> Water.
Regular Milk or Chocolate Milk? >> Regular, if I must.
Would you milk a cow given the chance? >> I’d have to at least try it.
What kind of underwear do you like? >> The kind that doesn’t give me a wedgie or some other kind of discomfort. (That’s... harder to do than it seems. A lot of underwear styles don’t sit right on me for some reason. Sparrow says it’s because my butt’s big. Probably.)
Where do you shop for your underwear? >> I don’t have a specific place.
Chicken or Fish? >> Fish.
Firm pillow or soft pillow? >> I prefer it to be a little firm.
What are you wearing when you go to sleep? >> Usually a t-shirt and pj pants, in this season.
Do you take any meds? If so which and why? >> No.
Do you like this survey? >> Sure, it was fine.
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all of the Ask things
Okay so shout out to this anon who is supporting my “Christmas in August” fantasy by asking me to answer all of these. You get it. Thank yooou
Silent Night: What is your favorite Christmas tradition
Decorating my house! But specifically putting together my Christmas village. I spend all year looking in thrift stores for new figures and buildings! Maybe I’ll post a picture this Christmas so keep an eye out for that ;) (I’ll tag it ‘Christmas village’ for anyone who is interested to check back in)
Joy to the World: Any New Years resolutions?
Well because it is August.. I’ll just tell you the one I made back in the beginning of the year. Be less hard on myself. I think I’ve been holding it up pretty well!
O Come All Ye Faithful: Is Christmas a religious or a secular holiday for you?
It has been secular for me for the past few years but I really wanna return it back to religious this year. I think religion is very important, but it can be easy to put it in the back of my mind.
Deck the Halls: How does your family decorate?
We all decorate the tree. My dad does the lights outside, with the help of a sibling or me usually. I put of the Christmas village. Everyone just goes to the boxes and puts up whatever they grab. The whole house is decked out! (and I decorate my own room)
Oh Holy Night: What do you do on Christmas eve?
My family goes to my grandma’s house and my mom’s side of the family is all there. We open the gifts we give each other by taking turns in a circle--it’s cute. I love my family so much.
Away in a Manger: Favorite Christmas Movie?
This is SO hard! But I always make time to watch “A Christmas Story” and “Elf.” (And usually “A Charlie Brown Christmas”)
The First Noel: Do you have a favorite tree ornament?
I don’t actually! But I have some of those small frame ornaments you are supposed to put a picture of someone in. For those, I print new pictures of famous people each year and hang them on the tree. (Usually referring to them as “Uncle/Aunt [insert famous person’s name]”
Oh Tannenbaum: Does your family get a real tree every year or do you have a fake one?
A real tree every year! We all go out together to pick it--one of my favorite traditions because we take my dog (a yorky) and he has such a fun time running between the trees.
Good King Wenceslas: Do you hang stockings up?
Yes! Everyone in my family has a stocking (including my dog). They get filled with nuts, gum, and airheads!--we snack on the airheads all morning while everyone is taking turns opening their gifts.--
My dog’s gets stuffed with dog treats.
Patapan: Are you traveling for Christmas this year?
Nope, I’m staying home. Though I might go to visit a friend for a week out of the break. But Christmas day is defiantly at home.
God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen: What's the earliest Christmas memory you have?
When I was younger, my sister, my two cousins, and I would put on these little nativity plays for our family on Christmas Eve at our grandma’s house. Those were fun :)
The Little Drummer Boy: Josh Dun.
Yeah
The Holly and the Ivy: Favorite christmas dessert?
We don’t eat it as a dessert but it is sweet enough to be! Each Christmas morning, my mom makes Monkey Bread for breakfast.
Ding Dong Merrily on High: Favorite Christmas piece of clothing? (Hat, sweater, etc?)
Duuuuuuude I have SO much Christmas clothing! But I guess my favorite is this big Christmas dress I got from a thrift store. It is an XL while I am a Medium... so it’s pretty big on me. It is a checker board print of a bunch of Christmas stuff (cookies and milk, santa, candy cane, etc.) It is ugly BUT i wear it on Christmas Eve, usually with a long sleeve turtle neck undershirt (with Santa’s on it), and a white belt.
But a close second favorite is my shirt with yoda dressed as Santa.
We Wish You A Merry Christmas: Does your family send Christmas cards?
Yes! We send Christmas cards with a picture of the family in it.
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing: Do you still believe in Santa? If not when did you stop?
Unfortunately, I no longer believe in Santa. But there is so much magic in believing in him and keeping him apart of Christmas tradition + talk. So whenever I am talking about gifts I received, I refer to the gifts under the tree as family gifts and the ones put out for Christmas morning as Santa gifts.
I stopped believing maybe in the fifth or sixth grade. Idk if that is too old to believe in him BUT I was in denial.
We Three Kings: What do you want for Christmas?
Because Christmas is so far away, idk what I’ll ask for. But I know I want to help get Christmas gifts for families who need help. I did that last year and I really wanna start making it a tradition to do so.
Angels we Have Heard on High: Angel or star on the top of the tree?
When I was younger, we had a angel. Now we have a star. (We still have the angel though)
Lo, How A Rose: What's your Christmas dinner menu?
For Christmas night, my family goes like an hour away to this family friend’s house--they have a open house type of thing. We just eat whatever is there.
What Child is This: Do you like eggnog?
I do! But I can’t drink a whole cup... it starts tasting kinda funny if I drink too much.
sweet winter asks
❄️: name something that makes you unique.
Something that I do that is unique in my house during Christmas would be putting it into my own hands to decorate the upstairs. We never did that till I decided I wanted to
But outside of my family Christmas, I honestly don’t know what makes me unique :P
🍦: do you have a favorite holiday sweet?
Holiday specific would be gingerbread! -- through the year i get random cravings for it .. but no where sells it out of season for a chill price :P
🌫: what’s your favorite indoor snow day activity?
I Answered this for someone else :)
☃️: what’s your favorite outdoor snow day activity?
It doesn’t snow where I live (I’ll never not be bitter about it). But my favorite Christmas outdoor activity is going to see Christmas lights.
🌟: what would you wish for on a shooting star?
In General: For my dog to be able to talk
Christmas Wise: For all kids to have pleasant Holiday experiences (and pleasant childhoods)
🎀: what’s the best gift to give a loved one in your eyes?
Honestly, anything from the heart. If you are excited to give it to them because you think they will be just as excited to receive it—Then it is a good gift.
A gift I gave that is my favorite is this vest that I sewed for my sister. I embroidered these box patches of the Bob’s Burgers main cast silhouettes. And then I sewed the patches to the back of the vest--also put hamburger buttons on the front. I think it was my finest work B)
✨: do you have special songs that you like to listen to during winter?
I Answered this for someone else :)
💝: describe your idea of a perfect winter date.
The perfect winter date would include going to the park to look at the lights and go to the lil amusement park there. Also, if the dude can play on the piano some Christmas songs that’d be fun--if he can’t, I will.
🐇: would you say you’re more of a bunny, an owl, or a fawn?
I Answered this for someone else :)
💎: if you could be gifted a piece of jewelry, what would you like?
I would want a necklace
👼🏼: would you rather be an angel or an elf?
I wanna be an angel plssss
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Event interviews
Notes:
Dumbo flea market
3pm oct 7 2018
Muggy day
Flea market is very busy
Went up to a few people who said they were too busy
Walked further in to the flea market
Lisa Ferrari-Sullivan owns a vintage clothing store called “Pimbeche Vintage”
Me: What's your name?
Lisa: My name is Lisa Ferrari-Sulivan
Me: And what is the business called?
Lisa: It’s called “Pimbeche Vintage”
Me: I can take breaks or pause the recording if you need to talk to people
Me: When did it start?
Lisa: Well, I started probably like seven years ago
Me: So did you just start coming to the flea market here?
Lisa: I’ve been collecting vintage for probably over ten years
Me: Oh wow
Lisa: Maybe fifteen years. Then I just decided kind of to sell it.
Me: Where do you find your clothes?
Lisa: Everywhere! I go to thrift shops I go to estate sales, I go to auctions
Me: So do you just travel and do it or have you been to the Washington Square Park market? Or anything like that?
Lisa: No, I travel. I travel around to different areas
Me: In New York City?
Lisa: And just all over.
Me: Do you live here?
Lisa: I live in Queens
Me: You’re trying to open a shop right?
Lisa: Maybe eventually, yes.
Me: Do you have a specific thing you look for whenever you’re trying to find clothes?
Lisa: Quality.
Me: What type of thrift shops do you go to? Do you find them at Goodwill….
Lisa: All different ones. It doesn’t matter, I usually find one or two things wherever I go.
Me: Does it sell well here?
Lisa: Yes, usually I do pretty well there's slow days and good days but today hasnt been a very good day.
Me: What made you start wanting to do this though?
Lisa: I started to accumulate a lot of stuff because I was collecting vintage and it kind of took over. I was working full time, then I got married and had kids and thought “okay I need something I can do part time” and it just kind of worked out.
Me: You want to open up a store, have you thought about where?
Lisa: Maybe somewhere in Queens, I feel like there's not a lot of it there
Me: Bushwick would be good too, there's a lot of young people in Bushwick
Me: What drew you towards clothing?
Lisa: Well I worked in the fashion industry, I have a business degree I didn't study fashion per say but I worked in the commercial offices for a lot of french companies so then i was doing that full time then when I got married and had kids I thought I needed to do something but I was a stay at home mom
Me: So you wanted a side job
Lisa: Right and then this took off
Me: So now it's working pretty well
Me: And expanding?
Lisa: I hope too
Me: Have you looked at depop do you know that shop
Lisa: No i don't
Me: It's like etsy, you sell to a younger crowd
Lisa: Oh that could actually work because i sell to younger customers
Me: Do you have a certain type of vintage that you lean towards? Like grunge, 80s?
Lisa: I personally love older things from the 30s or 40s but those things are very delicate, I dont bring them here and they don't sell as well as the grunge and the 90s
Me: So that's what sells very well
Lisa: Definitely and a bunch of 90s dresses more of a grunge look. So I guess because thats what in the mainstream right now
Me: Do you add yourself to it? Does it have aspects of you?
Lisa: I do because I like glamours things so i throw that in there to mix it up and let people decide for themselves
Me: So is fashion your passion?
Lisa: Ya i'm really good at buying but i'm not very good at selling I love buying it and I know what to get.
Me: How long has this been around though
Lisa: Here, I’ve been doing the brooklyn flea almost 6 years now I think So it's doing very well I like it.
Me: Have you ever had to deal with anybody trying to steal anything?
Lisa: Yeah i had a bunch of bags stolen a couple weeks ago
Me: How do you stop that?
Lisa: I try to look but i'm not very observant
Me: Where do you find the handbags?
Lisa: The same places
Me: Were you fashionable when you were younger
Lisa: When i was working in the fashion industry I had to step up my game because you have to look put together I was fashionable when i was younger too but a lot of the stuff i’m selling now I wouldn’t have worn in the 90s which is funny but its cool some of the dresses that i actually see on girls look super cool but they didn't look cool back then.
Interview 2
Danielle and Jamie of Positive Times
A:What's your company called?
D: It’s called positive times we started about four years ago
A: How did you get started
D: We started off as a jewelry company we played around in our parents basements then it escalated to the point where we now have a studio in greenpoint
It started off as jewelry and now we offer home goods so we have either beauty products which we have our new line of nail polishes which contain crystal dust in them if you want to talk about that a little bit because that's your-
J: oh so the moonstone nail polish has real moonstone in it nail polish and it's also free from the ten most harmful chemicals that are normally found in nail polish
A: How did you pick the crystals to go in it
D: so each crystals have its own properties that go in it
Example amethyst has insight if you want to bring more insight into your life rose quartz is love and hope we talk about the properties, we offer cards that tell you about the properties and we say that if you find a stone you’re drawn towards than that's the one you should choose
A: How did you guys get started with that part of the jewelry
D:It started with the jewelry our jewelry has crystals in it in our personal lives we keep crystals around throw it in some water to charge them We both when we were younger collected a lot of stones i would go on family trips to national parks and to the south west so i always liked crystals and it played a part in my life later because and influenced my career path because i went to school for education and earth science and took a lot of geology classes that had a lot to do with minerals and the way they form in the earth and then that kind of escalated
A: How do you guys know each other
D: We are actually friends from middle school, we’ve been friends for over fifteen years now
A: So you chose the business then you chose her as a partner
D: The jewelry started because we both have allergies to certain things i can only wear sterling silver or 14 carat gold so we made sure all our jewelry had that then we also have very odd sized fingers i have very small fingers and she has bigger ring sizes so we just decided to make our own jewelry and then it kind of escalated from there we were making simple things and now we’re actually using torches and shaping things and using different tools to make it more sturdy
A: How long does it take to make things like the necklace
J : we have an assembly line so it's not a certain time
D: But it is a process because we have to shape the brass, punch a hole in the brass sand the brass and then we make the thing to hold the crystals in and then we obviously have to add the chain
How did you guys learn to do this?
J: youtube university
A: Has it been pretty successful?
D: Yeah it's also been quite a ride it's definitely taking off
A:How did it start?
D: Just kind of friends and family were purchasing and then it escalated, we have a website and do flea markets and pop up shops and we are in storefronts too we don't have a store but that would be the goal it'd be really nice but right now we just have a studio and sell to shops out of brooklyn and out of new jersey
How long have you been doing it?
J: We started making the jewelry around six years ago the business about five years ago
A: Did you start the business by going to flea markets?
D: Yeah
A: Do you have to have a license to do that?
D: Yes 100% you have to register with the sales tax you have to pay taxes you get insurance too to sell as well
A: You guys are really young how did you decide you wanted to do this instead of other things?
D: I dont know, we still have our day jobs but we do this on the weekends
A: What's your day jobs?
D: I work with kids she's a graphic designer that also molded how we do our packaging
J: If were being honest this started because i designed a logo which we had nothing to do with
D: It was a plus and an X and we got positive times from there
A: Do you guys have a big group of buyers?
D: Yeah we do most of our advertisement is on social media its the best way to get publicity I couldn't imagine not knowing how to use social media especially in a business.
A: Are there a lot of online orders
D: Yeah we get a lot of online orders it's nice to see when its not people we know. We’re coming out with a new fall line our nail polishes will be darker and deeper tones which are more appropriate for fall and winter
A: Do you have a place in the county where you have a lot of sales?
D: Mostly california and nyc people like to shop locally we have a lot o orders in California
A: How old are yall
D: We’re turning 30 in a month
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Inside the Apartment of Refinery29’s Creative Director
http://fashion-trendin.com/inside-the-apartment-of-refinery29s-creative-director/
Inside the Apartment of Refinery29’s Creative Director
As with clothes, the way you decorate a room expresses your personality. In its most ideal form, it signals to guests how you interpret yourself. In this round of Real Cool People, Real Cool Apartments, we check out the London home of Piera Gelardi, the Executive Creative Director and co-founder of Refinery29 . Our intentions behind the creeping: to learn what she’s all about.
Name:
Piera Gelardi
Neighborhood, # of rooms:
Williamsburg-Greenpoint, 3 rooms, 2 bathrooms
What do you do?
If you mean for work, I started Refinery29 (with three other co-founders), and I now act as the Executive Creative Director. That means overseeing the creative vision, leading big brand initiatives, working to shape our company culture, being a spokesperson and mentoring all the super talented creative people who do the real heavy lifting. In my personal time, I love living a big, expressive life full of friends and family, collage nights, dancing in subway cars, adventuring, and appreciating art in all its many forms.
How long have you lived here?
On earth? 37 glorious rotations. In NYC? 20 years. In my current apartment? Five years.
Who do you live with, animals included?
I live with one human man and 15 odd ceramic figurines.
What do you like about the neighborhood?
My favorite thing about the neighborhood is that there are so many entrepreneurial spirits and emerging businesses popping up and a cornucopia of cultural happenings going on at all times — from new restaurants and music venues, to parking lot radio stations, galleries, eat-in movie theaters, and boutiques. Just generally lots going on, lots to discover. The best thing is wandering around on a summer weekend, weaving into different scenes and people-watching. I always come across something new.
What’s the best thing about your home?
I love looking out at McCarren Park. There’s always something going on there… breakdancing, soccer games, toddler birthday parties, drum circles, snowball fights. There’s a magic to watching the leaves change, and the snow come and go, and people’s lives passing by at the park. Sometimes I feel like I’m watching a Pixar movie, especially when an old Italian lady passes by with her little dog and makes all the pigeons fly away.
Do you ever work from home and if so, what’s that like?
When we started Refinery29, we often worked out of my former apartment (which I shared with my “roommate” Philippe. who is also my husband and co-founder). I found it hugely distracting to work from home. I never want to fold laundry but when I worked from home, I found myself constantly procrastinating by doing otherwise-dreaded household chores. I remember doing all sorts of random things when I should have been working, like making arancini out of leftover risotto for lunch with my co-founder Justin. Getting our first real office was a huge blessing for my focus and productivity.
Now, I usually work at home for an hour or two in the morning over coffee and some fried eggs — it’s my most peaceful time of day when I can really concentrate. But eventually I have to get the fuck out of the house or else I’ll find myself organizing a sock drawer.
What did you think about when decorating? What was the process like?
Growing up, I was fascinated by my Nonna’s house where I spent a lot of time. She lived all over the world and had so many objects in her house that had a back story and memory attached to them. I similarly like to surround myself with art, tchotchkes and furniture that reminds me of people, places and experiences.
I guess I decorate like a collector, adding as I go. A lot of things in my house have come from family and friends, like my dad’s tool cart, my Nonna’s camel stool, a poster from my childhood bathroom, artwork from my college roommates. Most of my other art and objects are from my travels or from creative projects I’ve worked on. I’m a maximalist at heart and being surrounded by things makes me happy and reminds me of all the life I have lived.
Did you have an overall vision in mind when you started decorating? What was it and where’d you get it from?
There is a shoot from World Of Interiors magazine that I’ve always loved that inspired me a lot. It’s from an art collector’s house in Venice, a house that feels at once modern and eclectic, chock-a-block with art, intrigue and painted with beautiful colors. It also had a giant red canoe suspended from the ceiling which looked surprisingly great.
My ceiling isn’t high enough for a hanging boat and we only have three rooms, not a whole house — also, our place isn’t directly on a canal — but otherwise, I feel like I’ve created a similar vibe to that Venice house in my Brooklyn apartment. A storied space.
What are your favorite home “scores” and where are they from?
My favorite objects in my home have a soul that perhaps only I can see. They’re objects that haunt me in the best way, that have drawn me in from dusty corners of thrift stores, or lurking behind the counter at a market, or as the sole object of interest in an otherwise cheesy tourist shop. Some of my besties: a mask from Mexico depicting the most benevolent being on earth, a $1 pencil drawing of a woman with beautifully sad eyes, and a wild, cross-eyed ceramic deer with golden hoofs and a tulle tutu that I swear I could put on a shelf at MoMA and no one would be the wiser. I like to think about the artists who made these objects and hope they can sense that their creations are being doted on.
For someone young and trying to nest, what are your top three tips when it comes to finding /buying items for the home?
Put all your favorite things all over your walls! You can find old frames for cheap and put art or magazine pictures you like in them. I once found a gold, baroque frame on the street and put a picture of Björk and her son in it. We had it on our mantel as though they were part of our family. If you don’t have frames, you can use T-pins — they look chic, like an architect’s office. If you’re a maximalist and visual person like me, having lots of images up is a great way to be surrounded by the abundance of life.
Paint your walls a color. It makes a huge difference and can completely change the mood of your space. If you don’t have any art, you can paint shapes onto your wall. In my old apartment, I used tape to paint stripes on a wall and it looked rad and everyone thought it was so super fancy.
Mix old and new together. Old things have the most character but sometimes IKEA is the most convenient to meet your needs. Having pieces that look brand spanking new next to patinated vintage things can look very intentional and keep your IKEA stuff from looking generic.
Get creative. A coat of paint or a switch-a-roo of drawer handles can totally transform the furniture that you have access to. I’m all about the hack.
What are your favorite household goods/home decor stores?
I love thrift and vintage stores most of all. There are so many treasures — I have fun imagining their backstories. Also, I find that the things I buy that are vintage stay with me a lot longer than any of the generic new things I’ve purchased. The vintage stuff has so much more mojo. Housing Works and RePop are some good brick-and-mortar spots in NYC (also Brooklyn Flea). For vintage finds online, my go-tos are eBay and Craigslist. On the pricey side, 1stDibs has super exquisite things worthy of a museum.
My favorite contemporary home store is my friends’ store Coming Soon on the Lower East Side. I just like to go hang out in there because it smells really good, they’re friendly and funny and have the coolest taste. The store is full of gems on gems on gems. Another beautiful home store is Mociun in Williamsburg. The store is so beautifully designed, I want to move in. Both places work with a lot of super-talented emerging designers too. Oh, now that I’m rambling on about under-the-radar designers, I also want to add Tictail Market into the mix! It’s great for affordable art. They all have online stores, too.
I’ve also found things from all the usual places: Muji, Urban Outfitters, CB2, West Elm, Anthropologie, Target, Etsy. It’s all in the mix.
Most unexpected place to find great things for the home?
The street! People throw all kinds of awesome things away… Craigslist Curb Alerts are a good place to preview what’s being tossed but you often find the best things when you least expect them, wandering around the night before trash pick-up. Now everyone is so paranoid about bed bugs, though, that they’ll probably hate this idea (or worse, sue me).
What’s the one thing every home should have?
Art!
Anything else you want to add?
Like you, your apartment is a work in progress and will change over time.
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Photos by Heidi’s Bridge;@heidisbridge
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BY: JACK SUNNUCKS | ALL IMAGES COURTESY OF VANCE STUDIOS
If you frequent the right sort of place (not that we’re entirely sure where that might be), you’re probably already acquainted with Vance Studio’s t-shirts. Vaguely ‘70s cherries are expertly placed over nipples, a nervous looking duckis underlined with the words “American Prayer,” a skipping dog yelps “Happiness” while being struck by lightning. These vaguely surreal scenes are the work of Zoe Vance, an artist who after moving to Los Angeles felt like her work might be better on someone’s chest than on the wall of a gallery. Vance started her line in 2016, encompassing the aforementioned shirts, stenciled denim and the odd dress. Next spring however will see the launch of a much broader collection. Here, she talks the t-shirts that inspired her, how bizarre the fashion industry’s idea of seasons is, and what it means to be a unisex brand.
What was it that made you want to start with t-shirts?
I moved out to LA five years ago. I grew up painting, but I hadn’t painted [for a while]. I got to LA and I was like, I don’t know how to do that anymore, because I had kind of lost touch with it. So I just started making t-shirts as a way to get into it without it being super scary, and it kind of snowballed from there.
It’s nice because you can get someone something, like a t-shirt, and you don’t have to explain it in the same way. Even though t-shirts to me, especially now, are more interesting than a lot of the art that’s going on, I feel like it’s a way for everyone to enjoy something without it being precious or anything like that. It’s just easy, a t-shirt with jeans. You can’t fight either of them.
Where do your graphics come from?
I spend an inordinate amount of time sourcing images. I go to the library, I go on the internet, I draw them myself. For a very long time was super into old animations. And it’s funny because when I draw something, it’s a subconscious thing where it’s very anxiety-driven. You have something where, this is going to go here, and then you go here, and you look at it after you’re finished and you’re like, oh, this is about this feeling I’m having, or this anxiety about this, or what’s going on in the world over there. Which is funny because cartoons are kind of the perfect platform for that.
Had you done fashion stuff before?
No, hadn’t. And that was another reason that the t-shirt thing was just another way to try and get into it without it being scary. Because I’ve always wanted to design clothing, and now in the spring I’m doing a full collection. And it’s really exciting to finally have gotten to that point, but no, I had not before then.
The cycle of clothing is a real mind fuck, where you make something and by the time it’s a finished product and you have to wait to show the world, you’re like, I’ve already dealt with this.
Where do you sell through?
I mostly sell through my website. I was really scared to do it at first, but it actually has been really helpful. And there’s this store in LA called Shop Super Street, and the owner is amazing, she’s a friend. But the thing is, it’s hard for designers. I feel like there’s a bit of a gap between what our generation wants and what stores are selling. You go in and you’re like, “This looks like something from a thrift shop and it has weird buttons on it, and there’s a weird thing on the back, and I don’t know why it’s $7,000.”
I understand having craftsmanship, like Valentino, you go in there and you see how it’s embroidered and you know that it probably took two weeks just to have this panel made. And that I totally understand, but just the parka, there’s no reason for it to be that expensive.
Was there a t-shirt of your own where looking at the cotton or the quality or even the design of it, you were inspired to have your own work look the same way?
This goes back to image sources, because I have so many photos on my computer, it’s insane. There’s that book, Brooklyn Gang, and there’s that one photo of that kid with the glasses getting up from the table, and his t-shirt is just a white t-shirt. And it’s just rolled up and it’s just a t-shirt, but references like that. Where it’s not so much the t-shirt itself, it’s just the way that it feels.
The reason why I started was because there are shirts that should exist, but don’t. It’s just like a band t-shirt that doesn’t exist. I listen to reggae music a lot, there are a lot of amazing recording artists, and the artists that did all the records from the ‘60s to early ‘80s, and that whole era of reggae where the covers and the typography are so amazing. It just looks like the most beautiful thing ever.
The reason why I started was because there are shirts that should exist, but don’t.
I really like your lookbook images on your website. Who do you get to be in them? I like the people.
All of the people I have used so far are girls that I just know from being around. The first look book that I shot, I had no idea what I was doing. My friend Stevie shot it and my friend Annabelle modeled for it, and we’re all super tight. My friend Clara did the look book for all of the bleached denim, the kind of the skinhead ‘60s mod culture, which is the collection that I did last year.
It’s one of those things where I collect images all day long and I love looking at them, so it’s really exciting to be able to create your own, even though I literally cannot take a picture to save my life. When people on the street ask me to take photos of them, if I have a friend with me, they’ll be like, “I’ll do it, don’t have her do it, she’ll ruin it, please don’t.”
And you have both men and women in your shoots it seems.
I just started having men in the shoot, because I like men’s tailoring and detail so much more than women’s. Men’s clothing is just made better for some reason. It’s really disappointing. Even the difference between a women’s Barbour jacket and a men’s Barbour jacket is mind-boggling. It’s round, and the cord is very thin, versus a men’s jacket has a nice beefy beautiful thick rope cord and a bright green against navy that’s so beautiful. You’re like, “Why can’t it just be like that? Why does it have to change?” It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot.
I’m a white woman, and I have a boyfriend, I don’t have an alternate point of view, so when I think about unisex clothing, it’s not like Eckhaus Latta. But at the same time, trying to go about dealing with unisex clothing without it necessarily being stated that it’s unisex, I’m still trying to figure it out. Because people write to me and are like, “Do you make women’s clothes or men’s clothes? I really don’t understand.” But I always get so excited, because men do like wearing my stuff and it’s nice to have it be that unisex quality. And then there are certain graphics, the cherry tee is definitely my best seller. And men write to me about it all the time and it has cherries on the nipples! It doesn’t make any sense to me, but men really like it for themselves.
Trying to go about dealing with unisex clothing without it necessarily being stated that it’s unisex, I’m still trying to figure it out.
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