#I love bicci so much it's not even funny

[yourlocalconehead]

last night I was binge reading bicci fanfics and I realized that Conan gray is mentioned in every single one of them

one is literally called the cut that always bleeds (and it was so good I wish it had more chapters)

now I'm reading one that's called all I wanted was the final fight

yeah I desperately need friends who are coneheads and are as obsessed with iwbft as much I am

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Who says I want to go back

This contains spoilers for Friday's ep of Emmerdale, because it enraged me so much I had to write a fix-it. So have a Robert's the one helping with Liv fic. I've borrowed relevant bits of dialogue from the ep (watching that twice was not pleasant btw)

--------

"Well I need something to forget that I'm here with you. When you're in my face Aaron, I hate you." He can tell himself that she's just mouthing off, that she doesn't mean it but it still hurts, has every time she's said it.

"Yeah I know Liv, you keep telling me. What am I supposed to do, I'm terrified. I can't stop you hurting yourself."

"Please. I'm not in danger. You're just a control freak that can't stand me having fun." He can see Robert, standing just inside the door, trying not to intervene because just lately that makes everything worse, but he knows he's there, that's what's important. He should be on his way to see Seb, he's already late and he nods, tells him to go, he can manage.

"That's not true."

"You want everyone to be as miserable as you, don't ya. Oh poor Aaron. You wouldn't want to be happy if you knew how to. You just want to drag us down cos of what you've been through." He just shakes his head. Is it true, is she right, does he do that? Robert's always teasing him for being grumpy, but is it more than that, does he drag him down too. "What, no shouty comeback?"

"If that's what you think then there's nothing I can say is there." He doesn't wait for an answer, just grabs his coat and leaves. There's no point even trying to talk to her when she's like that.

He heads to the yard, maybe an hour or so of bashing the hell out of metal will help calm him down. He should've gone with Robert like he suggested, but he hadn't wanted to leave Liv alone all that time.

It doesn't work like it always had in the past, and Robert's not answering, even after enough time has passed for him not to be driving.

"You alright kiddo?" He throws the crowbar down as Cain approaches.

"What's she done now?"

"Who? Your demon of a sister? Nowt, but your Mum said you'd had words."

"Something like that." He collapses down on the steps, throwing his gloves on the ground.

"You alright? She said Sugden was off to Liverpool."

"Yeah, to see Seb. Not like we can have him at ours right now is it?"

"You know, it's not a failure to say you can't cope."

"There's no one else is there? Sandra's worse than useless and she doesn't have anyone else. I'll sort it Cain. You'd never leave Mum to fend for herself would ya?"

"I might if she didn't want my help. I'm just saying...it's alright to fail." He nods, because he can't. He's failed her once already, he left her behind. He won't do it again, no matter how hard she pushes him.

--------

She's not about when he gets home and after making himself a cuppa he tries Robert again, just wants to hear his voice.

"Robert, this is really not a good day for you to do that ignoring calls thing. Just, call me back, please. I need you."

"God that was pathetic. No wonder he's not answering. Maybe he's finally seen the light. He's gone off to Liverpool for a couple of days, who knows what he's getting up to there."

"Why would he Liv?" Her words don't even hurt anymore, he knows Robert better than that, trusts him properly now.

"Wouldn't be the first time with her would it? All he's got here is you leaving whiny messages on his phone."

"You don't have to pick a fight just to cover what you're really after. It's right there."

"Aw what's up, don't want to tell me what to do anymore cos hubby's off with the ex?"

"Enough! Do you know why he's gone there huh? It's cos we daren't have Seb here with you like this. Just go Liv, get out of my sight."

"You just can't face up to the truth can you? He's up there with her and you're here, alone. Face it Aaron, you're the fool."

"Oi! What the hell is going on?" Both of them turn round at the sound of Robert's voice. Aaron smiles when he sees he's got Seb in his arms, immediately reaching out for the little boy who he's sure has grown since the last time he saw him.

"Liv was just telling me what she thought you were getting up to in Liverpool." He can see when Robert realises what he means, and he takes Seb into the kitchen away from the pair of them. "Hey mate, it's alright, we're not mad at you. How about a biccy eh?"

"Oh was she. Why don't you enlighten me?" He sets Seb at the table with a colouring book they keep handy before watching the two of them.

"Well it wouldn't be the first time would it?"

"I think you're winning in the repeating mistakes game right now don't you? So what brought on this latest round of making everyone hate you? Run out of vodka?"

"Of course you're taking his side!"

"You've all but accused me of cheating so why would I take yours? How long are we doing this for Liv, because I'm tired. Aren't you?"

"Get off my back Robert!"

"Fine. Just get out."

"You can't throw me out. It's my house!"

"So you keep saying, except that's not actually true is it? It's half Aaron's and mine too." He stands his ground and Aaron stops himself from getting her to stay. He doesn't have the energy, just wants Robert and Seb, and some peace. Liv stares at him for minute before she grabs her bag and storms out.

"You know she's just going to drink all that at the pavilion don't you?"

"Yeah, probably. I'll go after her in a bit, when you tell me why I have thirty missed calls?"

"I should go. I'm her brother."

"Yeah well you married me. What's yours is mine and all that crap. I think you've taken enough off her for today don't you?" He runs a hand through Seb's hair before hugging Aaron, holding on until he relaxes properly. "Go on, what did she say?"

"Do I control people? Make them miserable?"

"What, no! Did she actually say that?" Aaron nods. "That's ridiculous."

"You're always saying I'm grumpy."

"Yeah cos you are, and I love you anyway don't I? You never make me miserable though, or anyone else. The only one doing that round here is Liv. I know she's suffering Aaron, but this can't go on."

"I don't know what to do anymore. She won't listen."

"Then we ask for help. As much as I love your Gran, her idea isn't going to work and your Mum's idea...well the less said the better. When I've found her, we're going to see Liam, or Manpreet."

"But..."

"No. We need proper advice Aaron. They'll know who to talk to, or how to talk to her. She doesn't have to know, not yet, but I'm not having you upset like this."

"Ok." He sniffs, pulling back from Robert's arms, feeling cold as soon as he does. "How come he's here?"

"When I got to Rebecca's I saw all your calls and guessed something had gone on so I asked if we could change the weekend to here. She didn't mind, her and Ross have some concert thing they want to go to anyway. Besides he missed ya. I don't do cuddles as well as Daddy Aaron apparently."

--------

"So this is where you're hiding." He sits down on the steps beside her. The bottles beside her are still mostly full so hopefully he can actually get through to her. "Make you feel good does it, hurting Aaron?"

"Does actually."

"Funny...I used to think I could manage all on my own, didn't need anyone else. Without the gallons of vodka obviously, but yeah, I pushed everyone away, said all the right things to make it happen even though inside I was begging someone to stay, to see how much I was hurting, how much I needed them."

"I don't need anyone."

"Except you do, if only to pay the bills so you can afford that." He points to the bottles. "So why don't you talk to me because if I come home again and find you've spoken to Aaron the way you have today you might just find yourself truly alone. Trust me, you don't want that to happen."

"Aaron would never do that."

"Maybe, maybe not. Everyone has their breaking point and I truly don't think he's far from his. So go ahead, if you want to lose your brother forever then I'll give you some tips from when Andy and I hated each other. Or," He picked up one of the bottles, unscrewing the cap and pouring it onto the grass. "You can come home with me now, apologise, and then tomorrow, we'll go to Manpreet or Liam and get some advice."

"And if I don't?"

"I reckon it'll take about an hour to pack the car and then Aaron and I would be gone."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me. I love you Liv, you know I think of you as my sister, but Aaron is my number one priority, him and Seb and I'm not having him putting up with your verbal abuse any longer." He gets up, brushing off the back of his jeans. "I'll leave you to think about it. We'll be at home."

The walk back to Mill calms him down, ready to tell Aaron what he'd said. Liv was likely right, he doesn't think Aaron would ever abandon her, anymore than Robert would Vic, but something had to happen, had to change.

"Do you think it'll work?" Aaron asks him as they watch Seb playing in the garden a while later. There's been no sign of Liv but Robert could only hope she'd listened.

"I don't know, but if it does, then it's a start."

[ghostofscarley]

hey yall, im bored, i hit 10 months of being sh free and my insomnia is playing up.. i read a george weasley fic and it had aussie slang (that ive never heard of) so i thought "hm, in celebration of 10 months, imma make a post of my favourite slangs and their meanings" as a 16yr old maori who has been australia since she was 4.. and then i thought "id love to hear abt others favourite slang words" so.. if youre interested, pls comment down where youre from and some of your favourite slang words, id love to hear all abt it <33

GHOSTOFSCARLEY'S FAVOURITE MĀORI SLANG

some music to set the mood (check out COTERIE, Six60, L.A.B, Sons of Zion, some of the best music bands from my home in nz)

You're an egg / Egghead

you're a clown

Hard out

a form of agreement ("the donuts are best when they're fresh" "hard out")

Mean as / Mean

that's cool

Keen

usually used when someone is enthusiatic abt going somewhere or doing something when asked ("do you want to go down to the beach?" "oh yeah i'm keen")

Tu Meke / Too Much

awesome, good job, informal thank you

Straight Up

absolutely (definite agreement) or if you're being straight up, you're telling the truth

Hiding

beating, physical punishment

Fizzy

soft drink or soda

Stiffy

boner, hard on

Bol (Later Bol, Chur Bol)

bro, g, cuzzy

Cuzzy

short for cousin tho its almost never your actual cousin, just someone you know or you're close too

Shot

another way to say thank you informally

Hundy / Go Hundy

go hard, 100%

Far / Far out

wow ("far out, this is a mean as pie" = "wow this is such a good pie")

She'll be right

it'll be ok, everything will be ok

Bloody oath / Fuckin' oath

absolutely, 100% certain

Pretty ... / ... as

pretty is often used as a describing word before another word and it means 'really' ("hes pretty funny" = "hes really funny"), and as is used as like.. an ending word to solidify a statement - an exclamation of sorts ("bro, i'm tired as" = "bro, i'm so tired")

Far, that's stink

that's no good, lame

Yeah, nah

uncertain, though most of the times its a no

Getting on the piss

getting drunk, absolutely hammered

Hammered / Wasted

absolutely drunk

Togs

swim wear

A feed / A munch

a meal

Lolly

sweets, candy

Chilly Bin

cooler, eski

Macca's

mcdonald's

Not even

no way, that's not true

What a sad guy

when someone does something mean, uncool or uncalled for

Biccy

biscuit, cookie

Crook

ill, sick

Mozzie

mosquito

I can see your breakfast / Your lunch is out

cleavage or the area under the belt and others can see it ("your dress is so short, i can almost see your breakfast") ("you need a new bra, your lunch is almost falling out")

[braddersbangerz]

Misc 6 with Dan Lewis please 🥺👉👈

This is 800+ words and I haven't really edited it lolololololo It's Danham

Getting a text in the morning before Graham has even had his first brew for the day is enough to sour his mood, but getting a text requesting urgent help means he'll have to put his annoyance aside for the moment. Dan rarely asked for help, he's a competent man after all, so this is worrying. He's running through every scenario that could've happened to his friend.

Has he been mugged?

Punched?

Shot by an alien?

Graham huffs out a sigh and shakes his head, pushing all those thoughts aside. It's not that, it's just something simple, yeah, simple, he decides the moment he lays eyes on Dan's white van parked outside his rented flat.

Seriously, he didn't have to move to Sheffield to be part of their little unit, but he did. Ryan and Yaz have been prodding him about it, asking what he thinks. What is he meant to think? They're friends, good friends; Dan is a nice, funny man, and he's someone Graham loves spending time with; what is there to think about?

Luckily, Dan slipped Graham a key for special occasions; well, that's what he said anyway; still, he's glad he has that key now; this will make this so much easier.

"Dan, mate?" Graham calls out the moment he's through the door. "You all right, cockle?" There's a muffled response, and Graham's frowns in the direction it came from. "I'm coming, okay?"

The muffled voice gets louder and louder until he can make out what Dan is saying.

"Graham, that yous?"

Graham rolls his eyes. "Do you know any other cockneys?"

"Nah, but I do know a cock-"

"I can go back home and have my cuppa considering that this probably isn't a life or death situation-" Graham trails away the moment he steps into the bathroom. He's faced with Dan, lying on the floor, legged pointed upwards, and foot hidden in the bowl of his toilet. "What in the god happened to you?"

"Slipped-"

"Doing what?" Graham snorts, not even trying to cover his snickering.

Dan angles his head to look Graham in the eye. "There was a bleeding spider 'bove the bog, thought I'd get the fucker, but I weren't gonna kill it, tried gettin' it with a' glass, but could only stand on the bloody toilet, well I got the shit, but then I slipped, and me foot fell into the bowl n' got stuck."

Graham slow blinks at Dan. "How's the spider?"

"Shut up, and help me, you prick-" Dan snaps. "-I've been here for a while now-"

"Fine," Graham sighs.

It takes a while, but sure enough, Graham got Dan's foot from the toilet. It's now resting on the coffee table in his living room with a bag of peas draped over it.

Graham feels bad for laughing in the beginning; the sight of Dan wincing made him feel guilty. Maybe that's why he's made him a brew and got a plate of biccies ready for the pair of them. At least Dan seems content for the most part now.

"Hey," Dan glances towards Graham. "Cheers for the helpin' hand, mate, didn't know what else to do, ya know?"

Graham shrugs. "That's what friends do."

Dan looks away quickly. "Yeah, friends."

Graham's head tilts to the side because that's not the first time Dan has looked away quickly with a pained expression written across his face. "Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Something's wrong," Graham states with a concerned frown. "Have I done something?"

Dan snaps his head back to Graham again, eyes widened. "No, god, no, you haven't done 'nout, it's me and me alone."

"What's you?"

"If I say, it'll just make it awkward between us 'cos it's obvious you don't feel the same way as I do, no matter how much Ryan 'n Yaz said you're just dense-" Graham brows furrow. "-Graham, mate," Dan begins, taking a breath to steady himself. "I like you, and before you say anything, when I say like, I mean, like-"

"Oh."

"Yeah, see-"

Graham shakes his head in response. "Nah, just you hold on for a second," He states. "You like me, as in-" He makes an awkward kissing motion with his hands, and Dan nods to confirm. "-right, uh-" His head tilts, and he observes Dan. "-I mean, well, look, I said we were friends, right? That's 'cos I thought we were, but like, I'd be lying if I said I didn't check out the goods when we first met 'n all-"

"What?"

Graham shrugs now. "Hey, you came out of that river, jeans tight against your ass; where else was my bi ass meant to look? At the Doc? Disgusting."

"Hold on, are you saying that you like me back?"

"Well, yes and no, it's something I gotta think about, but-" He smirks slightly. "-it's definitely something I can considering."

[vcg73]

Witch!Kurt #42: The Calm Before the Storm

As promised, I got back to work on this.  :)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Adam hummed as he moved through the kitchen, fetching plates, cups, and cutlery from their cabinets and drawers before dishing up the two servings of eggs and sausage links he’d just finished cooking.

He pulled a large orange from the refrigerator and cut it into halves, placing one on each plate. He really preferred grapefruit, but Kurt hated even the scent of them, so he compromised by purchasing a large bag of Mandarins on his last shopping trip. It made him feel better, since Kurt had ceased purchasing his own former staple of strawberries once he had discovered that Adam was allergic. Adam had insisted that there was no need for Kurt to give up a favorite food, and Kurt had made a noise of agreement but Adam had noticed soon afterward that their grocery list never had that particular fruit on it anymore. The bottle of strawberry pancake syrup that had formerly graced their little condiment shelf had also mysteriously vanished. It was the sort of sweet gesture that his husband tended to make without thought, and Adam was determined to show that he appreciated it in just as subtle a fashion. He refused to be another one of those people in Kurt’s life who took his generous nature for granted.

Pouring a steaming cup of tea for himself and coffee for Kurt, he smiled at how delightfully domestic this was. Other than company, the thing he had missed most during his seemingly endless span in the emptiness of the Void was simply having something to do. Getting his hands on some small chore and keeping busy with it. Adam had never been an idler, never one to just sit quietly with his hands folded and wait for something to come along. From earliest childhood, he had been a doer, taking satisfaction from playing games, cooking meals, scribbling notes, inventing choreography, learning some new skill, or sorting out an activity for others. He and Kurt had that in common, along with having work and living spaces that tended to stay tidy and well organized, though neither took it to neat-freak levels. Adam had missed being able to set his hand to a thing and see it completed, and a small part of him thrilled at the mundane little task.

It bothered him more than he liked to admit that he was still slightly off his game when it came to getting his nerve up for comings and goings beyond the loft, even after six months back in the real world, but having a full time stay-at-home job now helped immensely. Most of his daylight hours were kept busy making calls, booking online appointments, and sorting out talent for various casting calls about town. It made him feel useful again, and after only two months on the job, he was already earning praise from his employers and glowing reviews from their clients. That little boost to his self-esteem was making him bolder about going outdoors and meeting people again. Now that winter was over, greenery was beginning to pop up everywhere and the days were becoming mild and pleasant, beckoning him to take a nice walk through the park, or down to Bui’s for a spot of tea on his lunch hour. He no longer worked for Mrs. Bui, having given up his position as stock-boy to an eager young high schooler once his schedule with H&B had been set, but he still liked to pop round for a hot cup, two or three delicious chocolate biccies, and a nice gossip.

And then there was Kurt. How lucky he felt each day to wake up to the sight of that beautiful face on the pillow next to his, to phone him at lunchtime to say ‘how are you’, ‘what would you like for dinner’, and ‘I love you’. Such simple words, but so full of delight to them both. And he liked to be here, finishing up his work for the day, or bustling about getting the evening meal when it was his turn to cook, having it ready when Kurt came home from work or school, and seeing his face light up with joy at the sight of him.

“Hello, husband,” Kurt would say, with that loving look in his beautiful eyes as he came forward for a kiss and a fond embrace. “How was your day?”  

Kurt took positive delight in that greeting, and Adam enjoyed hearing it just as much. He supposed over time the shiny newness of being married would wear off, but for now it was still great fun.

Adam buttered four newly popped slices of toast and once again divided them between the waiting plates, adding a quick smear of marmalade to his own half and a dribble of honey to Kurt’s. He added a bit of honey to his tea as well, then used the spoon he’d stirred it with to mix a helping of nonfat creamer and a packet of sweetener into the coffee. He took a small sip of the latter to test the level of sweetness, and then grimaced, wondering what he’d been thinking as he took a quick swig of tea to banish the taste. Kurt had grown up drinking Burt Hummel’s noxious brew, and he still preferred his coffee strong enough to degrease an engine or melt the spines off a cactus.

“Breakfast is ready, husband of mine,” he said, setting a plate and the coffee on Kurt’s side of the breakfast table just in time to greet him with a kiss as he wandered out from the bathroom, wearing a towel about his waist, skin fresh and still ever so slightly damp after showering.

Kurt kissed him back with a smile and immediately went for the cup, taking an experimental sip followed by a large happy slurp. “Mmm, this is great!” he said. “You used hazelnut creamer, didn’t you?”

Vaguely amused at his enthusiasm, Adam said, “I did. I used that cocoa infused espresso you bought last trip, and I thought hazelnut would be a nice complement to it.”

“Nutella in a cup,” he sighed blissfully, belting back another swallow. He kissed Adam again, on the cheek this time and said, “Be right back.”

Kurt disappeared into the bedroom, and Adam had just enough time to top up his cup and add another good dollop of creamer before Kurt emerged again wearing a smart new outfit of gray checked trousers, black shoes and belt, and a shimmery green, patterned button down. Now that he had truly got the hang of using his assorted magics, Kurt could get himself dressed for the day in the literal blink of an eye. The only delay would be in choosing which outfit to wear. It was the one power that Adam envied him, though he doubted that even being able to instantly don and discard clothing would give him the impeccably chic and polished look that Kurt always had.

After all, even his own power to whisk his hair into order with a thought did not give him the ability to look sexily tumbled when rising from his pillow of a morning the way Kurt typically did. Adam usually looked as though he’d received electric shock until he got himself under a hot shower, and he knew he could potter around in his closet for a good half hour trying on assorted items and still look like he’d just escaped from a harrowing ride through a clothes dryer. Lucky for him that Kurt found the rumpled look attractive.

“What’s funny?” Kurt asked, sitting down to breakfast. He hadn’t been gone long enough for the food to grow cold and he tucked in with an appreciative appetite.

Adam just waved a hand. “Oh nothing. Just musing about how unfairly gorgeous you are for first thing in the morning.”

Flattered, he blushed a bit, his eyes sparkling at the compliment. “You look nice too.”  

And he did. Adam had a video call with a producer this morning, someone his agency had landed for casting of a big-budget film. Adam’s job was simply to take down the particulars of cast size, shooting schedule, and what sort of roles they were looking to fill, and then he would take down their availability and set up a second meeting with one of H&B’s more senior casting agents. But even that required a bit more spit and polish than usual.

He told Kurt as much. “I must let them see that Hanover & Bradley is a posh firm, even down to the lowliest of booking clerks.” He straightened his black and gold striped tie before lifting his nose in the air and sticking his pinky out with extreme dignity as he took a sip from his teacup.

As he had expected, Kurt laughed. “Well, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. I wish it wasn’t considered unprofessional to suggest casting yourself. I glanced at the script spec you were reading last night and that movie sounds right up your alley.”

Adam smiled. “Appreciated, but I don’t think I’m quite ready for the chaos of a film set yet. Though I must admit that I have been growing bolder of late. I’ve been considering scraping the rust off of my acting skills and joining the Lightning Circle for one or two evenings a week.”

For a moment Kurt looked blank, but then he brightened as the name clicked. “That’s the Improv group that your friend Joey runs, isn’t it?” At Adam’s nod, he clasped his hands. “Adam, that would be amazing! It’s a perfect way to stick a toe in the water and find out whether or not you’d be comfortable on stage again. Joey was an Apple, so he’ll totally get it if you’re not quite ready to get out in public yet. You two were really close during my freshman year, so I imagine it would be like slipping into a favorite pair of shoes to work with him again. It won’t even matter if you’re rusty, because figuring your way around an awkward moment is the whole idea of Improv.”  

Adam beamed at his support. “Exactly right. I had a talk with Janice during my last session about wanting to take baby steps back toward my aborted career. She suggested testing the waters in some small way, then reporting back on how it went. I was thinking Community Theater, or joining the Lexington retirees for one of their in-house productions, or a sketch comedy night somewhere. Then I recalled Joe telling us at the last Apples get-together that he’s renting a space in the Village. His troupe rehearses a few nights a week and performs on Sunday evenings. They write sketches, work out the framing, and then sort of fill in the blanks before an audience. I know for certain that I’m welcome to join.”

Kurt was grinning. “Then you should totally do it. Maybe we could start by attending a performance on the weekend, just to see what it’s like. That way you can make an informed decision about whether or not it’s something you want to do. I think it would be so good for you, honey. I know how refreshing it can be to put your problems aside and just be someone else for a little while. Plus it sounds like a lot of fun!”

Pleased at how easily Kurt had not only accepted the plan but dove straight in with his support, Adam said, “So, it’s a date then?” 

Privately he was thinking that if this worked out, it might be a bit of fun they could do together. The others always asked after Kurt, and seemed quite interested in his progress at NYADA, so they would be glad to have him.

“It’s a date,” Kurt confirmed. Munching the last bite of his breakfast, he glanced at his phone on the table beside him and made a startled sound. “Oh, gosh! Is that the time already? Isabelle asked me to help choose the summer dress selections for the website today and I don’t want to be late.”

Adam nodded. He needed to get himself ready for the meeting soon as well. “Have fun and I’ll see you this afternoon. Is it your turn for dinner tonight?”

“It was, but I’ll do it tomorrow. Brittany called earlier and asked if she, Santana, and Tubbington could join us. They’ll pick up something from the Golden Lotus on the way here.”

He was used to this. Members of their witch family dropped by at odd hours all the time and usually brought food with them, so Adam nodded. “I’ll text and ask them for an order of sweet and sour, or maybe some General Tso. That pineapple and green pepper concoction they picked out the last time was revolting. I was belching peppers for two days straight.”

Kurt laughed. “I already asked. Santana likes that stuff, but Brittany agrees with you, and of course Tubbington would probably stage a revolt if they didn’t get his beloved Kung Pao Chicken, so nobody balked at my request to add Pork Fried Rice and General Tsao.”

Taking one last swig of coffee, Kurt took his dishes to the kitchen, then hurried to the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth. Giving his husband a minty kiss goodbye, Kurt grabbed his bag and a light jacket and was out the door.

Adam stared fondly after him for a moment, then willed the magical ward back into place and went to his own work.

~*~*~*~*~

“What’s happened?” Adam asked when Kurt came through the door without his usual cheerful greeting. 

The buoyant mood Kurt had left home with this morning had transformed throughout the day into a feeling of tense foreboding that had been palpable the moment he walked in the door. Before that, actually. A more tamped-down version had been singing along their emotional bond for the past couple of hours. 

Adam found himself wondering if their idyllic breakfast this morning had just been the calm before some great storm. Whatever it was, he suspected that their Sunday theater plans had just been cancelled. “Is something wrong in Ohio?”

“No,” Kurt said, speaking the word with a hint of hesitation. He made an impatient gesture with his hands as he amended it to, “Not exactly. Nothing’s really wrong, but I had a text from Sue Sylvester today and I suspect it’s no coincidence that she sent it to me on the same day Brittany and Santana suddenly decided to drop by for dinner.”

Adam agreed that this was unlikely. Sue had kept her promise to keep tabs on the Blaine situation for them, but she wasn’t the ‘just dropping a friendly line’ sort of person. “What did it say?”

Pulling out his phone, Kurt showed him the message. ‘Red Alert. Paddington has taken a flea dip.’ “What on earth?”

“Sue always codes her messages,” Kurt explained. “She thinks satellites are sharing them with the C.I.A. or something. Paddington is the nickname she gave to Dave Karofsky after he came out as gay. Y’know, as in a baby bear.”

Adam snorted, picturing the hulking young man he had briefly glimpsed on his aborted surveillance trip to Lima dressed in a duffel coat, red hat and wellies. “So in her own peculiar way, she’s telling you that Dave has rid himself of a certain pest?”

“That’s how I read it,” Kurt agreed. “He must have broken up with Blaine. Either he shook off Blaine’s persuasive influence somehow, or he just wasn’t as taken in by it as we assumed. I’d be interested to find out what happened. The important thing for now is that if Dave is gone, then Blaine doesn’t have anyone handy to power-dump his stolen magic into. That might make Blaine vulnerable.”

“Or it might make him more of a problem,” Adam reminded him, willing away the shiver of apprehension that skittered down his spine at Kurt’s words. “If Blaine has suddenly found himself alone and forced to return to what Santana colorfully calls the ‘snatch and splooge’ technique of transferring power, he could be extremely dangerous.”

Kurt shook his head. “That’s assuming he hasn’t stored power in half the innocent Standards in Lima. He was always unnaturally good at swaying a crowd to his side, long before the soul-polluting began. He’s a lot easier to deal with one on one than with a pack of supporters behind him. Especially ones who are convinced against all logic and evidence that he can do no wrong.”

Reading his meaning in that, Adam said flatly, “You are not going to face him alone, Kurt.”

“Well, I’m not sending you to spy on him again,” Kurt countered with a trace of heat. “I don’t want you going anywhere near him.”

“Nor I you, so if you think I’m going to just sit here safely on the sidelines while that nasty blighter attacks you, then …”

“Adam, I’ll be at twice as much risk if I’m worrying about what might happen to you,” Kurt interrupted. “I’m not an idiot. I know how dangerous he can be, and that you both want and deserve to be with me when I face him, but he nearly killed you once, and then just seeing him for an instant all but paralyzed you! The last time you two were face to face, you were at full strength and he still nearly destroyed you. What if he finds out that you’re not only still alive, but that I’ve married you, and once and for all torpedoed his plans for me? He’ll go berserk and I don’t want to risk him taking that out on you. If I put you in his line of sight, I might as well be pulling the trigger on you myself.”

Adam wanted to argue back that he would be equally devastated if Kurt were to face their enemy alone and be killed or sent to the Void. Which might well be the same thing, since none of their group might be able to find and rescue him if he were to be banished to that place without an anchor. But Kurt would resist such reasoning. For all his instinctive mother-henning of loved ones, he could be remarkably blind when it came to his own well-being.

“Darling, what with all the Lima people who came to our reception, I highly doubt that Blaine has remained oblivious to my miraculous return from the great beyond. I’m safer with you, and the members of our coven, than I ever would be alone.” He struggled to keep his voice calm, even though he suspected that his emotions were broadcasting loud and clear anyway. “I may not be as physically strong as I was the first time I encountered him, but magically I’ve grown stronger. One of the upsides to being part of a good coven. Since Joining with you, I’ve gained new levels of control. But what you’re forgetting is that neither one of us is in this alone. We have a group of excellent witches and Familiars at our back, as well as friends and family. It may turn out that Blaine has put together an army of brain-washed sycophants, but if the Intelligence we’ve received thus far is true, then we also have Coach Sylvester’s magically-inclined Cheerio squad to counter them.”

As he had hoped, Kurt responded to the logic of this statement. “That’s true,” he said slowly. “I hate the idea of putting kids at risk, but I’d put my money on the Cheerios over Blaine’s personal Fight Club any day of the week.”

“I wouldn’t discount Sebastian’s influence over his former prep-school peers either,” Adam pressed. “Or for that matter Finn and Sam’s influence over your old Glee Club, which might even have countered Blaine’s a bit. Just because you’ve been left with that self-enamored tosser as your sole responsibility in the past, doesn’t mean you still are. You were a lone ship on a stormy ocean once upon a time, Kurt, but now you’re the captain of a veritable armada, and the rest of us are just waiting for an order to fire a shot across Blaine’s bow.”

Kurt’s mouth, which had fallen open during Adam’s impassioned speech, clicked shut and he gave him a wan smile. “I’m not sure you aren’t being just a little too optimistic here, but you have a good point.” The smile widened. “You like to claim that you’re not much of an orator, but you give a darned good rallying speech.”

“I think so too,” Santana said by way of greeting, making the two of them jump in surprise as she opened the door and walked casually into their discussion. Kurt had dropped the ward as he came inside, and left it down knowing his friends would be arriving right on his heels. “And he’s right, oh Captain my Captain. If you go back to Lima and cut us out of all the fun after keeping us waiting for months to kick Anderson’s bubble butt, we’ll disown you and elect a new coven leader. I hear Drumsticks has his eye on the spot.”

“Johnny? But he never…oh,” Kurt said in chagrin, laughing a little when he realized she was teasing. “I guess I’m being kind of stupid.”

“Never bothered us before,” she replied, a wicked twinkle in her eye. “I take it you heard from Sue?”

Brittany and Tubbington, who had come in behind her, put their sacks of food down on the kitchen island and Brittany said, “She sent us a message this morning before I called. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything then.”

“Paddington?” Adam queried, wondering if they’d got the same text Kurt had.

Tubbington gave him a frown and said, “Dawn Patrol”.

Not as familiar with Coach Sylvester’s unique personal code as the rest of them, Adam said, “What does that mean?”

“Be on alert because it might be time to come to Lima and get Blaine out of everybody’s way,” Santana translated casually.

Seeing his confusion, Kurt said, “Dawn. You know, as in the dish-washing soap that’s supposed to be extra good at clearing away greasy messes? It … never mind. The point is that Blaine has been dumped, and Coach thinks it might have him off balance enough for us to make our move.” He looked at their guests and said, “Adam was reminding me that we’re a team and that Blaine is no longer just my problem.”

“He’s right, Junior,” Tubbington garbled as he pulled a steaming box and a pair of chopsticks out of the nearest bag and stuffed a large bite of food into his mouth while he spoke. “I been keeping tabs on your family through Sebastian and he tells me that Blaine has already started sniffing around your house now that Sam is living there again.”

“What?” Kurt said in alarm, jumping up from the chair he had just taken.

Brittany patted his arm. “Don’t worry, nobody is in danger. That’s part of what we wanted to tell you tonight. Your dad has Fam, that’s what Sam and Finn call themselves when they’re not being individuals, did you know that? Anyway, Burt has made them wear that cologne Adam made for him at Christmas, just to be safe. He offered some to Sebastian too, but a Familiar can’t be influenced by Wild Magics so he didn’t need it.”

“I should mix them up a fresh batch if Burt is sharing,” Adam mused, already considering ways he might beef up the recipe while still keeping the cologne smelling pleasant. Having been victim to Blaine’s venomous influence once, Sam and Finn might be more than usually vulnerable, and that wasn’t a risk he wanted to take. “Perhaps I could mix it into a deodorant, so there would be no danger of anyone forgetting to wear the potion. ‘Magical Musk for Men’, or some such.”

“You should do it,” Santana agreed, shrugging when she saw that nobody was bothering with food except for the always voracious Lord Tubbington, and going for plates and forks, which she spread around the table before helping herself to a serving of fried rice. “The old stuff does its job, though. Sebastian reported to L.T. that Blaine showed up at the house last night, God only knows why, and Burt met him at the door with a wicked set of hedge-clippers in hand.”

She cackled at the thought and everyone else had to grin at the picture it painted when Brittany added, “Your dad told him he’d had a feeling that it was time to prune away the obnoxious weeds that were in his yard. Then he clacked the blades just a couple of inches from Blaine’s crotch and stared him down until he ran off.”

“Didn’t stop moving until he hit the Lima Bean, from what I hear,” L.T. said with satisfaction, treating them all to a window-shaking belch as he picked a stray vegetable from his beard and popped it into his mouth. “Damn, that’s great. The Lotus must have a new chef.”

Kurt, no longer surprised that his father hadn’t reported the visit, sighed and sad down, taking a spoonful of rice and another of steaming beef & broccoli. Adam and Brittany likewise sat down and helped themselves to a serving of mouthwatering entrees. Adam happily sailed into the box of spicy chicken, also accepting a spoonful of beef & broccoli when Kurt shook the box with an inquiring look. Santana pulled out a second container of Kung Pao, having known from experience that nobody else would have a chance at the initial serving of Tubbington’s favorite, and passed it around.

“If Blaine is already trying to get in good with Sam again,” Kurt mused after a moment, “then it really does support the idea that losing Dave must have come as an unpleasant shock. To his ego if not his magic-stealing. There’s no way he could know that Sam isn’t alone anymore, right?”

“No,” Adam said, “I’m sure he doesn’t know. After all, he believes that he murdered Finn, just as he thinks he did to me. But if he’s seen him around Lima, then even without Sight he must realize that Sam is suddenly a good bit healthier than he was when their friendship was broken off. I could see so clearly, and I don’t even know the poor fellow well.”

Brittany nodded. “We went to visit my folks a couple of weeks ago and I looked in on Fam. Sam’s almost back to his old self again. You did a really good thing for him when you joined him with Finn.”

“Technically that was Sebastian’s idea,” Kurt said, giving credit where it was due. “And all of you helped.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who actually did the heavy lifting,” Santana countered, having no patience for self-effacement. Not when it came to an act of combined delicacy and power, not to mention personal risk, that had left even her cynical self in awe. Sounding baffled by her next words, she added, “And Finn is happy riding around in the back of Sam’s brain. I thought sure he’d be going crazy by now, given how much he liked being the center of attention back in high school. Instead he seems to think he’s some kind of secret agent. As long as Sam lets him take the wheel and do what he wants a couple of times a day, he doesn’t seem to give a flying fuck that nobody else knows they’re taking to Finn Hudson, ex Lima superstar.”

“I suspect without the influence of power-hungry girlfriends, he’s actually happier out of the spotlight,” Kurt said dryly. “He liked being part of the Quarterback-Head Cheerleader power couple, until it became more pressure than fun. Then he hooked up with Rachel and she was a cattle prod in the backside as far as the craving for fame and popularity went. It wasn’t until they went long-distance and Finn didn’t have anyone to give him orders, or any independent direction of his own, that he kind of crashed.”

Brittany nodded. “And Sam always felt more comfortable having an image to hide behind, so he probably likes being able to sit back and let Finn take over some of the time.” She smiled gently. “I think the people who used to know them both are a little confused, though. People never seem to see things clearly without a map.”

Remembering some of the mind-bending leaps of logic this woman had taken in the years he had known her, Kurt had to agree. Brittany always saw things clearly, it was one reason she had the most powerful gifts of Sight and magical intuition he had yet encountered, but unfortunately her idea of clarity rarely matched up with anyone else’s. At least not without a lot of practice in translating her thoughts. He had become far better at ‘speaking Brit’ over this past year than he had ever done when they were schoolmates.

“Makes sense,” he said. “Okay, so assuming my family is safe, Fam’s secret is still intact, and Blaine is beginning to lose control, how much time do you think we have to deal with this?”

“Not long, I would say,” Adam said, brow furrowing in thought. “When I confronted him two years ago, he panicked and went into immediate attack mode. Same with your brother. If he’s reeling from the insult of being dumped, and possibly from the withdrawal of whatever power he’d stored up in your friend Dave … well, I fear we’ve left this kettle boiling too long as it is.”

Tubbington cut in, “Oh, he’ll be feeling it, I’m sure of that. I don’t know if that other kid is still in town or not, but if he broke off their relationship it’s a cinch Dave’s not willing to let Blaine cozy up for a nice easy power withdrawal. Whatever magic had been stored in him would have started draining away almost immediately once he was at a safe distance.” 

At Kurt’s querying noise, Adam said, “As you know, magic has a shelf-life. We can only do so much before we’re either starving or exhausted from having used up our reserves. Storing magic in a prepared object allows it to stay viable for a while, like storing perishables in the freezer. But storing it in a person would mean using their physical reserves. Like storing those perishables in a hot garage. The power would begin to ‘go bad’ in a very short amount of time, and while the vessel could be damaged in the long term, they could also be helped by it in the short.”

“In what way?” Kurt asked, resting his elbows on the table and pressing his lips to steepled fingers as he unconsciously adopted a studying pose.

Santana answered, “Like, if Sam had been critically injured and Blaine had siphoned a portion of his own power, his own life-force, into him to keep him alive until they could get medical help, that would be okay. Noble, even. Not that something that selfless would ever occur to him.”

Tubbington agreed, “I’ve been around long enough to see that happen a couple of times, but before the human litter-box came along, I’d never even heard of a witch, regular or Wild, stealing magic from other witches without their knowledge and power-dumping it into some poor unwitting Standard. Only to steal that power back for their own personal use with no thought as to how much damage they were causing. That he did it to supposed loved ones?” He made a sound that suggested he was about to reject the box of Chinese food he had just inhaled.

“The sorts of things we can do as witches gives us an advantage over the majority of society,” Adam resumed. “And it is widely accepted throughout the community that that sort of privilege gives us a firm ethical responsibility to not misuse our power, nor go mucking about in the lives of Standards. I have wondered from time to time if the general bias against the weak, uncontrolled power of most Wild witches hasn’t led to the rest of us dropping the ball there. After all, if one never knows they’re a witch, how is one to develop the ethical foundation that is, quite frankly, expected of us? Blaine Anderson is an extreme case of self-aggrandizing moral decay, but I doubt he’s alone in it.”

“Well, there’s a cheerful thought,” Santana said sourly. “You’re saying all this is somehow our fault?”

Surprising them all, Kurt who said, “No. I spent months, years even, blaming myself for all the crap Blaine pulled when we were together. I’ve finally accepted that I wasn’t responsible for his actions or responses, only for my own. I’m not going back to thinking otherwise. Blaine was hypocritical, oblivious to other people’s feelings, and painfully self-absorbed long before he and I first started having problems. I was just too infatuated at first, and too emotionally beaten down later, to actually see it. I suspect from certain things he’s told me about his childhood that he always has been that way.”

Adam nodded. “True, and we’re speaking of Blaine as though he were a child, with no ability to recognize how destructive his behavior has been. He’s not.”

Brittany nodded. “There are a lot of bad people out in the world who got there without any help from magic. People who commit terrible crimes every day. Blaine is just doing his the easy way.”

Making a frustrated motion with his hands, Kurt said, “If the magical community is at fault in any way, it’s in not actually behaving as a community. NYADA is as much a school for witches as a school for performing artists, but you’d never know it until something goes wrong.”

“Do you know they actually had the nerve to send us a sternly worded letter after our wedding, admonishing us for performing a Major Working without a senior coven official present?” Adam said to Santana, Brittany, and Tubbington in response to his husband’s disgusted tone. “Basically they scolded us for not asking permission. Kurt was ready to go down to NYADA on the spot, likely leaving a few scorch marks in his wake, but I convinced him to not ruin a promising academic career, and to take a different approach.”

Smiling slightly, having come to appreciate Adam’s occasionally twisted sense of humor, Santana said, “What did you do to them?”

He blinked at her with calculated innocence in his too-wide blue eyes. “I merely passed the letter over to Gran, with a gentle hint that she wasn’t being properly respected for her status as a Senior level witch, and reminding her that Carmen and her crew never did apologize for their laxity in my own rescue.”

She laughed, “Oh, you are evil!”

Kurt laughed as well. “We got another letter that same week advising us to ‘please disregard the former missive’ and congratulating us on our wedding and a ‘difficult job well done’.”

“Honestly it was as close to groveling as I ever expect to see from the Almighty Carmen,” Adam chuckled. “Gran must have given them a tongue-lashing they’ll never forget.”

A sigh came from Kurt. “That’s what’s so frustrating, though! If powerful coven leaders like Madame Tibideaux, whose business is supposed to be education, would only make it their mission to trade information, help those who need it and make sure nobody falls through the cracks the way Finn and I almost did, and assessing and training those with power without treating those with unusual types of magic as second-class or unimportant, the world would be a much better place. They have the power, and they could make sure that cases like Blaine’s wouldn’t happen, because someone would always have their eyes open to step in and redirect someone who’s going the wrong way before they turn into a complete disaster.”

A swift interested chain reaction of glances and nods passed between his companions. Every good coven eventually developed a higher purpose, something beyond mere friendship and the occasional Major Working. Kurt had, without quite realizing it, just hit upon theirs. Their peculiar mixture of powers and creative problem-solving, Adam’s interest in the history of witchcraft, Johnny’s fascination with the mechanics of spell crafting, the unexpected co-mingling of Animagus and Purebred Familiars, Kurt’s own seeming magnetism toward all manner of people, both magical and Standard, drawing even Wild witches and the extremely rare Magic Dampers into his sphere; all spoke to the blending of a wider, more open overall community.

Oblivious to their silent communication, Kurt went on, “I guess that’s why I still feel like confronting Blaine is up to me. Or rather, to us.”

“Well, you know you can count me in,” Lord Tubbington said. “I’ve wanted to flex my claws on that ugly little scratching post since the first time I saw him.”

“Mine too,” Brittany said with no trace of irony. “I knew he was up to something bad the first time he came to Glee Club dressed like male Rachel.”

Still smirking a bit, Santana said, “I’ve been waiting to kick his ass since last Thanksgiving. What do you say, Kurt?”

He nodded. "Let’s get Dani, Johnny, Monica, and Elliott over here. I think it’s time we put together a plan.”

THE END

[terrierontour-blog]

Week 9/10 - 31/10/17

Buckle up readers, you’re in for another ridiculously long post again. Having had yet another week off uni I’ve got a few fun things to fill you in on.

The week before last (Week 9) was relatively uneventful again. During the week the only notable thing was our visit to “HeyTea”, a store that’s always heaving and we’ve never understood why. After bucking up the courage to commit to the queue, ordering in Chinese (because I’m super clever) and waiting for what felt like a billion years (actually more like half an hour) Mhairi and I had the most incredible passionfruit tea I’ve ever had in the history of ever. Following this life changing experience I’ve decided I’m not ever coming home because I can’t survive without this tea in my life.

We also ventured to Suzhou Railway Station to collect our train tickets to Nanjing. While there we thought we may as well explore the city seeing as we do live here and had never actually been before. Bad decisions were made. So many regrets. The city sucks, the people are scary and we couldn’t even find the canals.

On Saturday Mhairi, Alicja and I finally left for Nanjing. We decided to be adventurous and take the slow train rather than the high speed one – it only took an extra hour and was a third of the price. Good decision right? WRONG. It was cramped, it was smelly, people were smoking, a Chinese man kept asking us questions about our lives and then talking to his friend in Chinese about us and we were not living our best lives. It was an experience, however, and we had to do it at some point. What we learnt from the experience was that the money savings are not worth it. Be fancy, get the bullet train, ‘Treat Yo Self’.

Our weekend in Nanjing was pretty short but we had a great time still. We visited the Sun Yat-sen Mausoleum, that would have been pretty cool if it wasn’t covered in scaffolding… We barely managed to get any good pictures here as every single time we stopped to pose random people would jump in them. Do we really look like we want all these randomers in our pictures? We see Chinese people every single day, why do they think we’re so excited about their existence!?

After being accosted every time we tried to take a picture we decided to head to the summit of Zijin Shan (the Purple Mountain) and what a palaver that was. We got lost. Really quite very lost, and ended up taking what we think was a shorter but way more difficult route up the mountain. Rather than the nicely paved, gentle incline path we expected, we ended up walking the equivalent to about 118 flights of stairs (number courtesy of Apple health app). Looking back, it was pretty funny, but at the time Rochelle and I were accepting death. When we finally got to the summit (Drama queen alert: it only took us about 40 minutes) the air quality was so bad that we couldn’t even see anything. Visibility was at about 50 metres so what should have been pictures of the incredible views are just pictures of greyness. Lovely pretty greyness.

In Nanjing we also went to a Confucian Temple that was recommended to us. The temple itself wasn’t the greatest we’d ever seen, but at night it looked so cool. Everything was lit up, the place was covered in candles and incense and there was a really cool fire pit. My happy memories of this bit of Nanjing may actually be down to my receiving the news that my beloved Town were 2-0 up against Man United, but I’m happy to keep those two memories attached. There are few places better to hear about such scores when one can’t make it to the games.

Now onto this week, which started in the most incredible way. After a short trip home Claire returned to us with the best gift I could ever possibly ask for. If you know me at all you know exactly what that is. The thing I hold closest to my heart and miss more than anything out here… Bourbon Biccies. I truly don’t think I’ll even love my own child as much as I do those biscuits. Unlike the ones I brought out here with me they’re going to be rationed in order to make them last as long as is humanly possible.

We decided that instead of spending our “mid-terms” week revising and catching up on our work, we should go for a day trip to Shanghai instead. Yeah, that’s right, we’re so fancy we day trip there. Overall it was a great day, Claire, Mhairi and I spent way too much money in Victoria’s Secret and we all had a super fun time.

This weekend involved two 5:30 wake up calls, which if you know me at all, you will be wondering what on earth got me up at that time. I wasn’t even sure if it was worth going to be worth it myself, but it 100% was. The disastrously early mornings were caused by a “cultural trip” to Huang Shan (the Yellow Mountains) with uni. The trip had a few cons but the pros were totally worth it.

I’ll start off with the bad points; firstly, 5:30 wake ups – totally gross, never again. Secondly, Anhui province food – totally gross, never again. Thirdly, our tour guide was the most annoying person I have ever met. Talk about a power trip… The guy was not only annoying every single one of us with his stupid mic and speaker, and the never ending “Boys and girls!” as though we were all 6 years old and on a school trip to Cannon Hall Farm, but he was also incredibly rude to other people around the group as well as ourselves. At one point we were watching some Chinese people dancing in a park, which is super cute and a really important part of communities here, and this fella decided to blast some god awful music from his phone through his stupid microphone over their music. We were all absolutely mortified. Thankfully the people in the park weren’t too offended and invited us to dance with them, which was so lovely of them after the way Rudey McRudePants acted.

The good points of the trip, however, outweighed the bad things. Even though the memory of that tour guide will irritate me for years to come. The views from the Yellow Mountain were incredible. One of the best things I have actually ever seen in my life. The mountains and landscape almost don’t look real, everything is so chaotic and dishevelled and yet somehow still so perfect and peaceful. I’d love to say the climb was really difficult but I’d be lying if I did. Not because it was easy, but because we were lazy and took the cable car halfway up. Shout-out to Harry though, who managed to hike the entire mountain and still reached the summit before we did. How he managed it I have no idea but he deserved (and was given) a medal for that.

Most of our time spent “climbing” was actually spent posing and taking pictures, but it was completely worth it. Every single picture we’ve taken looks incredible – some may even be worthy of the living room wall. We may finally have a replacement for the big picture of me in my Grandma’s house that I dislike…

I could go on forever about how incredible the place looked but there’s really no point because it’s something you have to see to believe. I would absolutely 100% recommend a trip to Huang Shan if anyone ever gets the chance to come, even if I did almost cry at one point because of the height and my being a chicken, it was really such an incredible experience.

心想事成

Bry x

Strange Experience Tallies

•Live Animals Awaiting Death in a Restaurant: 8

•Squat Toilets Experienced: 50

•Bad Squat Toilet Experiences: 4

•Photos Taken by Random Locals: 250

•Full Body Metal Scanners: 40

Get Out of Our Pictures????

Shoutout to Ollie For the Candids

Smoggy Purple Mountain

Confucian Temple

Why Am I So Extra?

Fearing For Our Lives...

This Is My “Terrified But Enjoying Myself” Face

I Risked My Life On This Rock and She TICKLED ME!!!!

Special Shout-Out To Nikhil and Ollie For Taking All of These Pictures and Not Being In Any

A Sample of The Incredible Views

Living My Best Life #Plandid