#I love being the guy who posts the article and gets to completely tear it up paragraph by paragraph until I have all my favorite parts

[steveyockey]

While some of both Davis and Crawford’s work could arguably be described as camp (for the former, King Vidor’s Beyond the Forest; for the latter, later-era films such as Strait-Jacket and aspects of the wondrous Nicholas Ray film Johnny Guitar), that their entire careers and places within film history are defined as such does a disservice to their artistry. But they aren’t alone in representing what has become a troubling trend when it comes to women’s work. As camp entered the mainstream lexicon, especially after Susan Sontag’s landmark 1964 essay, “Notes on ‘Camp,’” the term has been increasingly tied to work featuring women who disregard societal norms. Camp is often improperly and broadly applied to pop culture that features highly emotional, bold, complex, cold, and so-called “unlikable” female characters. I’ve seen films and TV shows such as the witty masterwork All About Eve; the beguiling Mulholland Drive; the stylized yet heartwarming Jane the Virgin; Todd Haynes’s Patricia Highsmith adaptation Carol; the blistering biopic Jackie; the deliciously malevolent horror film Black Swan; Joss Whedon’s exploration of girlhood and horror, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; the landmark documentary Grey Gardens (which inspired the 2009 HBO film starring Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore); and even icons such as Beyoncé and Rihanna be described as camp. Look at any list of the best camp films and you’ll see an overwhelming number of works that feature women and don’t actually fit the label. Usually, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, the film whose behind-the-scenes story provides Murphy’s launching pad for Feud, will be at the top of the list.

While camp need not be a pejorative, that hasn’t stopped it from being widely used as such. In effect, being labeled as camp can turn the boldest works about the interior lives of complex women into a curiosity, a joke, a punch line. The ease with which camp is applied to female-led films and shows of this ilk demonstrates that for all the (still-paltry) gains Hollywood has made for women in the decades since Davis and Crawford worked, our culture is still uncomfortable respecting women’s stories.

That major Hollywood icons such as Marlene Dietrich, Bette Davis, Joan Crawford (and, more recently, Natalie Portman, thanks to Jackie) have been roped into this lineage isn’t surprising. Society doesn’t know what to do with women of this ilk without discrediting their very womanhood. Take artist and filmmaker Bruce LaBruce’s offensive description of Mae West in an essay on camp: “[She] played with androgyny to the degree that her final performance — her autopsy — was necessary to prove her biological femaleness.” In his 2013 essay “Why Is Camp So Obsessed with Women?”, J. Bryan Lowder expands on Sontag’s most well-known line: “It’s not a lamp, but a ‘lamp’; not a woman, but a ‘woman.’ To perceive Camp in objects and persons is to understand Being-as-Playing-a-Role.” Lowder writes, “‘Woman,’ the concept within the quotation marks, is not the same thing, at all, as a real woman; the former is a mythology, a style, a set of conventions, taboos, and references, while the latter is a shifting, changeable, and ultimately indefinable living being. Of course, there may be some overlap.” But if all gender is a performance, where does the “real” woman begin? And why does the presence of camp hold more importance than the actual work and voices of actresses such as Crawford, who have come to be defined by it?

At times, camp can feel like a suffocating label. Its proponents often misconstrue the fact that recreating oneself as a character is not merely an aesthetic for women, but rather, for many, a matter of survival. Living in a culture that profoundly scorns ambition, autonomy, and independence in women, girls learn quickly the narrow parameters of femininity available to them. When they transcend these parameters, life can get even more difficult. Women often pick up and drop various forms of presentation in order to move through the world more easily. Performance as a woman — in terms of how one speaks, walks, talks, acts — can be a means of controlling one’s own narrative. Camp often limits this part of the discussion, focusing instead on the sheer thrill of watching larger-than-life female characters cut and snark their way across the screen. How these works speak to women, past and present, becomes a tertiary concern at best, and the work loses a bit of its importance in the process; it either comes to be regarded as niche or, if it still has mainstream prominence, as abject spectacle. In turn, the conversations around these works become less about the women at their centers and more about how those women are presented.

Much of Baby Jane’s camp legacy comes down to how more recent audiences have interpreted Davis’s performance. She’s ferocious, frightening, and grotesque. But framing Davis’s performance as camp, as Murphy does, doesn’t take into account how dramatically acting has shifted over the course of film history. In some ways, camp has become a label used when modern audiences don’t quite understand older styles of acting. Modern actors privilege the remote, the cold, the detached. The more scenery-chewing performances that make the labor of acting visible — such as the transformative work that Jake Gyllenhaal did in Nightcrawler, or most of Christian Bale’s career — is typically the domain of men. (Or, at least, it’s only men who can get away with it without being called campy.) As Shonni Enelow writes in a marvelous piece for Film Comment, “[Jennifer] Lawrence’s characters in Winter’s Bone and The Hunger Games don’t arrive at emotional release or revelation; rather than fight to express themselves, her characters fight not to. We can see the same kind of emotional retrenchment and wariness in a number of performances by the most popular young actors of the last several years.” Davis’s work as an actor was the antithesis of that; she painted in bold colors. Even her quietest moments brim with an intensity that cannot be denied.

[jeanboyjean]

BIRTHDAY GIFT - ft jean kirstein. nsfw.

a/n: it's still the 7th somewhere right?? guys i grinded so hard to get this done but i did it!!! i hope this means my writing block is over D: idk why i made this angsty to start with but i promise it gets cute at the end. i picture this being kind of earlier on in the relo when ur still figuring each other out. HAPPY BDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!

cw: mdni. fem/afab reader. established relationship (break up), getting back together sex, piv, sappy? missionary, creampie, idiots in love. pet name: baby. jean is so boyfriend i want to cry.

wc: 3.5k

Your bedroom was a mess. 

You heaved a big sigh to yourself as you stood in your doorway and took a look around. Various articles of clothing were scattered everywhere… a shirt slung over the back of a chair, jackets stacked on top of each other on the foot of your bed, worn socks littered around on the floor. A basket of clean laundry you hadn’t bothered to fold and put away sat on the carpet and next to it was a pile of dirty clothes that was waiting to be washed. It was a true reflection of the state of your mind over the past few weeks after your break up with Jean. There was no good way to spin it - you were a complete and utter mess. 

The end of your relationship was the last thing you had expected when you had gone over to his place that day, but one thing had led to another and you had both said things you couldn’t take back. Now here you were... alone and missing him and miserable. You didn't know how long was acceptable to be crying over someone - after all, Jean was your first and only boyfriend. What you did know though was that the pain of losing him was far too fresh in your heart and you were nowhere close to being over him in the slightest.

It hurt even more because you knew he was doing so much better than you. One look at his instagram revealed more than you wanted to know. It seemed he was perfectly happy hanging out with his friends and now that he had deleted all of his photos of you, his comments were filled with girls who had been hiding in the bushes, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Meanwhile, you hadn’t taken down a single post because you couldn’t bear the thought of losing all of the memories you had together. To be honest, you couldn’t blame them - he was a catch after all. Too bad you had let him slip out of your fingertips.

With all the energy you could muster, you dragged yourself to your wardrobe and hauled open the doors. You needed to snap out of this. If he could move on, then why couldn’t you? You were better than this, damn it! Your vision flashed red as you angrily tipped out the clean laundry onto your bed and began folding it. You were going to do whatever it took to get over him and live your best life. That would show him! 

A petty fire fueled you as you imagined every scenario where you could rub it in his face that you were doing perfectly fine without him, but it was snuffed out in an instant when you reached into your closet to hang a shirt and your fingers brushed against a familiar soft fabric. Your hand stilled and your heart seized as you looked at the hoodie tucked away in the corner. You had shoved it away the night of your break up when you realised you had gone home wearing it and hadn’t had the heart to do anything about it since. Tears burned behind your eyes and your vision began to blur as you pulled it out and clutched it to your chest. No matter what you told yourself, you still loved him and the thought of moving on just made you want him back even more. You buried your face into the jersey and sobbed as you breathed in the faint scent of his cologne and clung onto the memory of him. 

If only you knew that Jean was doing a lot worse than you thought. 

It may have seemed like he was having the time of his life, but truthfully he was one bad moment away from honest to god ending it all. If it hadn’t been for Connie, he would have done what he really wanted to do and stayed in bed all day to wallow in his misery. Unfortunately, his friend would not let him rest and insisted on dragging him out whenever he could. 

Jean supposed he should be grateful that he had someone who was looking out for him and making sure he wasn’t drinking himself to death on his own. In fact, Connie had been the one to tell Jean to archive all of his photos with you and block your number after a close call one night when he’d had a little too much to drink and you had been ever present in his mind. It was just one more reminder that you were no longer his and it wrecked him, but he had followed through and he was trying to move on because isn’t that what you wanted? 

Over the weeks, he had replayed your last conversation over and over, trying to find the moment when everything had gone awry but there was no way to reason it. Every day without you was a day he wished he didn’t have to live. How could he move on when you were everything to him? All he wanted to do was to call you and see how you were doing, but he couldn’t do that to you. You hated him, you had said as much and you wanted nothing more to do with him. He was probably the last person you wanted to see. 

His phone dinged on the coffee table in front of him as he slumped into the couch, staring blankly at the TV screen in front of him. He picked it up and took a quick glance at the screen before tossing it to the side. Yet another notification, a message from someone but not the person he was hoping to hear from. It was pathetic the way he was still holding out hope, but he had thought that maybe, you would have reached out today. It was his birthday after all… but it was radio silence just as it had been for almost a month.

A knock on his door made his ears perk up. He frowned as he got up from the couch, smoothing down his shirt and ruffling a hand to fix his hair. He wasn’t expecting any visitors today, especially since he had specifically requested a quiet day for his birthday. Trust Connie though, he was probably here to pester him into going out and doing something “fun!” and “distracting!”. 

“I told you, man. I don’t want to do anything today,” Jean grumbled as he swung open his door with a roll of his eyes. “I just want to stay inside and -” 

His voice trailed off into a choked silence when his eyes met yours. You stood frozen in front of him, your eyes wide and your arms wrapped tight around yourself protectively. Jean’s mouth hung open in shock as he stared at you, unsure if you were real or just an apparition from his dreams. His eyes darted up and down at your form, blinking quickly a few times to clear his vision. As the realisation that you were actually in front of him sank in, he took in your appearance. Your shoulders were hunched up towards your ears, your hair a little messy and your eyelids puffy and tinged just a little red. Truthfully, you had looked better. And yet, his chest constricted and his heart clenched, because you were still the best thing he had ever seen. 

Your arms tightened as you shifted uncomfortably on your feet. His eyes snapped to the material you were gripping close to your front. That was... his hoodie. Time seemed to slow down as his vision tunnelled to just you in front of him, standing at his door, holding his clothes. 

“What are you doing here?” His voice was rough and low with emotion and he cleared his throat, swallowing thickly. 

You tried to look anywhere but at his face and instead watched his throat bob as your heart hammered in your chest. This was a mistake. Seeing him was too much, you should have known you weren’t ready. Just the sight of him was enough to make you weak and you willed the tears to stay at bay as you stared a hole into the door behind him. Your hands shook as you thrust your arms out, shoving his hoodie into his chest. 

“I came to give you this.” The words tumbled out of your mouth in a hurry and you clamped your lips shut as a lump lodged itself in your throat.

His hands reached up slowly to take the item and his fingers brushed against yours ever so slightly. The contact was enough to make you want to flinch but you tried not to let it show as you let go and dropped your arms to your side. Of course, Jean noticed but he chose not to say anything. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed at you, his knuckles turning white as his hands balled into the fabric. The silence was louder than ever as the two of you stood at his door, neither of you sure of where to go from there. 

You rocked back on your heels and cleared your throat. Your now empty arms hugged around yourself, resisting the urge to itch at your skin that was crawling from the overwhelming emotions of seeing Jean. Heat flooded your cheeks when you chanced a glance at his face and your eyes locked together, his expression unreadable and gaze heavy with unsaid words. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have come,” you said thickly as the tears threatened to fall again. 

You whirled around to leave but only managed a step away before you were stopped by Jean’s hand. His fingers wrapped around your wrist and he tugged tight, pulling you back toward him. The air in your lungs left you in a shocked gasp and your surroundings blurred as you spun around to face him. In one quick motion, his hands fell to your waist before you could lose your balance and yours planted on his chest as you caught your breath. His eyes bore into yours, swimming with emotion and now that you were really looking at him, you could see the red rims and the dark shadows that surrounded them. It had obviously been a while since he had last shaved, judging by the scruffy facial hair he had grown since you last saw him. It made you wonder if maybe he wasn’t doing as well as you had thought.

Or maybe he’d just had a few too many late nights out. 

The thought jerked you back into reality and you shook your head as you pushed against his chest. It was to no avail - you might as well have been trying to push away a cement wall. His hands held you firm in front of him, his fingers digging hard into your skin. 

“Why are you leaving?” 

You blinked hard. How could he ask that when he was the reason why you had to leave in the first place?

“Stay.” His arms snaked around your back and tightened until you were forced to take a step forward. “Don’t go.”

You shook your head again. His shirt crumpled in your hands as you clenched them into tight fists. You attempted to push against him again but your strength was starting to fail you. 

“Why should I stay?” You snapped, but there was none of the malice you hoped for. 

It was a loaded question and your shaking words sliced through like an arrow to strike into in his heart. His mind raced as he scrambled to find the right answer. Because he needed you. Because he couldn’t live without you. Because losing you would be the biggest mistake he ever made. Because, because, because… 

“I miss you,” was all he could manage. As soon as he uttered the words, he knew they were the wrong thing to say, confirmed by your humourless laugh in response, but it was the truth and he could barely find the words to string a sentence together at this moment. 

“Yeah, sure,” you snorted. “Let me go, Jean. You’re the one that wanted us to break up in the first place.” 

The world tilted on its axis around him and he could feel the bile rising in his throat. Was that true? 

“Please… I’m sorry. I miss you and I never meant for it to get like this.” He blinked hard as his vision began to blur. The desperation was clear in his tone. “I’m so sorry. Please, take me back.” 

You watched as the tears fell from his eyes and slipped down his cheeks. As if moving by instinct, you released his shirt and cupped his face, wiping his damp skin with your thumbs. His eyelids fluttered shut as he inhaled deeply and he dipped his head to press his forehead against yours. The ice in your heart thawed with each tear that he shed - curse him and his stupid face. You would always be weak when it came to him. 

He pulled you in even closer with his arms until your body was pressed flush against his and the heat between you was enough for the dam to break and you were moving without even thinking about it. You tugged his face down and his lips crashed into yours which parted instinctively and then he was kissing you as if it was the last thing he would do on earth.

His hands slid up your back until he was cradling your head at the nape of your neck. His tongue slipped between your lips, finally savouring your taste after the weeks apart. He kissed you fervently, each press of his lips against yours an apology and a promise that he intended to keep. In the back of your mind, you registered the click of the door shutting behind you as he led you into his home and guided you towards his room. 

The back of your legs hit the edge of his bed and you parted for a moment as you fell back onto the mattress. Jean gazed down at you with the kind of heavy lidded look someone might call hungry, predatory even. His eyes burned into yours and you glanced away quickly with a gulp. As much as you wanted this, the time apart and the tension was making you more nervous than you had ever been in his presence. What if it wasn’t as good as it had been in the past? What if you weren’t good enough anymore?

“Jean…” 

His name slipped from your lips, a little breathless and unsure, but all uncertainty died out in an instant when he reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt off with a flourish, revealing his toned torso. Desire coursed through your body, heat flooding from your core to rise to your cheeks and pool between your legs. He wasted no time in climbing onto the bed and guiding you back until you were laying on your back with him pressed on top of you. His weight kept you pinned down as his lips met yours again. This time, he let his hands roam over you, sliding under your shirt to palm at your skin. You gasped into his mouth as he cupped your breast with one hand and pinched a nipple with his fingers. 

“Take off your shirt,” he mumbled hazily. He peppered soft kisses along your jaw before pulling away. “I need to see you. Please.” 

You hastily removed your shirt with his guidance and since it was clear where this was heading, you slipped your pants and underwear down and kicked them off the bed. Jean’s eyes flashed his delight and he groaned as he took in the sight of you finally naked underneath him. His hands trailed down your body, skimming over your soft dips and curves, tracing your skin as if wanting to commit it all to memory.  

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “I can’t believe I almost lost you. So fucking stupid.”

You reached up to his face and yanked him down in another kiss. Heat blazed within you and you ached to feel him in every way you had before. You could reminisce another time, right now you needed him, all of him.

“You’re stupid,” you replied as you caught your breath. “But that’s why I love you.” 

His movements stilled at your words. His eyes shone as his lips stretched in a full grin. “I love you too… so much. I love you so much it hurts.” 

You giggled softly. “Show me then,” you urged and he smirked in response. 

“Needy much?”

He savoured every moment as he kissed down your neck, sucking into the soft flesh. A hand slid along your thigh to cup your aching pussy and the feeling of your heat had his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He sucked in a breath as he slipped a finger between your folds, feeling the wetness gather. 

“You’re so wet, baby. Did you miss me that much?” He chuckled lowly, eyes dark with lust as he watched his fingers slide against your entrance. 

You whined in response, desperate to feel more of him. “Fuck you, Jean. Bet you missed me more.” 

He snorted and plunged two fingers inside you instead of replying. Your back arched and you moaned in delight at the sudden intrusion. The heat in your core began building even more as he fucked you with his fingers, just the way he knew you liked. 

“Oh, I missed this so much. I love you, I love you.” The words spilled out of him as you moaned in pleasure. “Are you ready for me baby? I want to fuck you so bad.” 

You nodded eagerly, fingernails digging into his bed sheets as you spread your legs further in anticipation. Never had you been more ready than now and your mouth watered as you watched him shuck off his pants and free his heavy cock. He leaned his weight on one hand while he used the other to line himself up and enter you slowly. Despite the urgency you were both feeling, neither of you wanted to rush this. You relished in the feeling of him filling you up inch by inch, stretching you open, moulding your insides to fit perfectly around him and his breathing quickened and his hips stuttered as he bottomed out. 

“Oh god, you feel just as good as I remembered,” he groaned as he began to thrust his hips. His pace began to build and you wrapped your legs around his waist while he lifted your hips up to deepen the angle. His cock slid in and out steadily, the tip hitting the sensitive bundle of nerves inside your walls with every stroke. “Actually no, this is so much better than I remember,” he corrected himself. “So much better. So good, so good.” He was rambling now, the pleasure of being inside you the exact drug he needed to loosen his tongue. “I’m sorry for everything I said. I love you so much. I’m never going to let you go.” 

You struggled to find the words to form a coherent sentence, your mind too clouded with lust. Instead, you chanted his name as his hips snapped into you relentlessly. You were tumbling toward your release and the building pleasure was almost too much to bear. He reached a hand between you and your walls clenched in response, sucking him in even more as he rubbed at your clit.  

“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight, baby. I’m not gonna last much longer. Are you close? You gonna cum with me?” 

You cried out as he drove into you harder. A fever burned within you; only Jean could make you feel this way.  “I’m gonna cum!” 

He dipped his head down to press his lips onto your forehead as he neared his own orgasm. “Okay fuck. Come on then. Cum with me, baby.”

Your vision went white and your mind blanked out as your body flooded with pleasure. Your fingernails dug into his back as you hurtled over the edge and you pulsed around him, milking him for all he could give you. He hissed out curses in response as he thrust into you hard and his hips jerked as he came too. He spilled inside you and his cock twitched as he fucked his cum into you deeper, not wanting to waste a single drop, before he pulled out slowly. The primal urge to claim you as his was too much to ignore.

Jean tumbled onto the bed next to you, his legs still laying over yours as the two of you panted heavily. His arm snaked around your waist and tugged you into his embrace, ignoring how your sweaty limbs stuck to each other. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and breathed in your familiar scent. This was the home he was missing. You smiled as you brought a hand to his face and carded your fingers through his hair to sweep it away from his forehead. 

“Happy birthday, Jean,” you said softly. 

He blinked up at you sleepily. His cheeks were rosy with exertion and his eyes sparkled with joy. “You remembered?” 

“Of course I did. I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

He let out a laugh at that, the joyous sound bounced off the walls of his bedroom, the first time he had laughed so wholeheartedly in a while. It felt as if the weight of the whole world had been lifted off his shoulders. 

“Are you kidding? You’re the best gift I could ask for.” 

He turned your cheek and began peppering kisses on your face. You joined him in his laughter and giggles bubbled out of you as he made sure to bless every part of your skin with his lips. The press of his hardening cock on your side made you narrow your eyes at him playfully and you reached down to wrap your fingers around it, swiping your thumb at the cum that had leaked from his tip and spreading it down his length.

“Again already?” You teased. 

The hungry look was back on his face in the dark glint to his eyes and the way he licked his lips as he grinded into your hand. He pressed himself up onto his forearms and moved back to cage you underneath his weight. His hair hung around his face as he hovered over you and something told you to strap in for a long night. 

“What can I say... I missed you and I want to make up for lost time.” 

[zozo-01]

"you’ve learned a long time ago to stop thinking things would change. (it didn't stop you from hoping anyways.)"

So, it's that time of year again, and I don't have the Raptors to distract me. It's the NHL playoffs and I am a Leafs fan. If you know, you know. I wrote this a year ago for myself and @thatlesbeanjew because being a hockey fan is not the faint of heart, and I completely forgot to post it to Tumblr ;-;. The title is from Jason's Spezza's retirement article and I think it applies well here.

For my sports (specifically hockey) fans who're in an toxic relationship with your favourite team, here's some southern comfort for you.

CW: author is being sentimental about grown men playing a game, i wrote this with the last years Bruins' collapse in mind (sorry tay), but no team is mentioned!!, city wolf darlin makes a comeback, Fluff, Comfort, so much comfort, someone send me to therapy

--

There’s never an easy way to say goodbye.

No one wants to say goodbye, and even if it has to be said, let it be said with finality, with a sense of accomplishment. That even if this is the end, the journey was enjoyable. That the blood, sweat, tears (and really dumb questions) were worth it. That the years, your childhood, spent hoping were worth it.

No one wants to end on a whimper, especially if it’s broadcasted on national TV.

They still can’t believe that final goal went in.

Darlin’ stared at the TV, watching the series-winning goal over and over again. Their eyes tried to rewrite history, using what magic they have to will the puck to not cross the red line. Go wide right, hit the post, or even knock a player's teeth out for all they care! All their efforts were for naught. The goal still goes in, the building goes silent save for the cheers from the opposing team, and the season was over.

It was hard to believe that just a moment ago, their body was buzzing with anxiety, every sensation was cranked up to an eleven. Only for all that excitement collapsing inside their body, creating a black hole within their heart, numbing them to the result of the game in front of them.

All of that emotional investment just to get the same result. They felt silly for letting themselves dream, believe, with nothing to prove their faith. Everyone around them had been right, but they insisted on their foolish delusion, stubborn to the very end for this hockey team that has brought them nothing but pain.

Darlin’ had always preferred the painful route, embodying the sentiment that ‘love is pain’. It just so happened that it applied to more than the people in their life.

Their legs lost all their strength, causing them to fall backwards onto the couch. Their eyes stayed glued to the screen, ears ringing louder than any goal horn they’d heard in their life. Part of them wished they had never decided to care for this stupid team that only does stupid things and makes them cheer like a stupid idiot.

Ok, maybe this seems like an exaggerated reaction to a hockey team losing a game, but truly, this is how Darlin’ felt at this moment.

And Sam knew it.

They barely registered the soft blanket wrapping around their shoulders, but the warmth helped ground them a little bit. Sam always knew how to bring them out of their daze, with gentle pressure and plenty of space. Always giving them the choice of when to ask for help, a choice they’ve found themselves making more often.

They heard the faint clink of a plate on the coffee table in front of them. But what had knocked them out of their trance was Sam finally turning off the damn TV. It didn’t stop the goal horn from ringing in their ears, but at least they didn’t have to see that fucking rat’s shit-eating grin again. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fuck that guy, fuck that team, fuck everything-

They blinked repeatedly, feeling Sam’s hand playing with their hair. “I can feel your rage from here,” he chuckled. “Can’t imagine what you’re plannin’ to do to the other team in that pretty brain of yours.” Slowly, he shifted his arm to wrap around their shoulder to pull them closer to his chest. The tension that built up in their forehead had finally gone away when they heard his heartbeat. “Knowin’ you, you’re plannin’ something nefarious.”

“...I know where they’re stayin’,” they mumbled, nuzzling their face deeper into Sam’s chest. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

He kissed their hair line and pulled them closer. “For the record, I will not be an accessory to your murderous rampage.” The small smile on their face prompted him to continue. “But I promise I won’t tell no one about your little scheme.” Leave it to Sam to make them smile when all they want to do is curl under a blanket and bleach the game from their mind.

They huffed in his chest. “I appreciate you not snitchin’ on me, but come on? You ain’t gonna help your mate with the body? Fake ass bitch.” Darlin’ let out a quiet giggle. Seeing the southern man deadpan at them is a surefire way to make them smile.

He pinched their nose and scoffed, “forgive me if I don’t want to see my mate in jail because a hockey team decided to beat your team.”

They pout at his statement, not appreciating the blunt tone he used. Come to think of it, when he puts it like that, their reaction to the ending of this game seems ridiculous. Wanting to kill grown men for doing their job? Because they just happen to beat their team? They’re a grown adult damn it! They’re better than being emotional over a team!

Sam flicked their forehead, knocking them out of their spiral. He pulled his wolf closer to him, letting their head rest on his shoulder. “No self-deprecatin’ spiral for you, Darlin’. You’re allowed to feel shitty over a game.” He continued to pet their hair, content with sitting in silence until they were ready to speak.

Darlin’ kissed his cheek and sighed. “I know, I know, I’m valid with my feelins’, it’s just…” They trailed off, biting their bottom lip while trying to articulate their thoughts into words. If only incoherent screaming was enough for Sam to understand their emotions. “When I say this team has sucked for my entire life… there hasn’t been a year where shit has gone right for us.”

Their vision blurred as they continued. “And I’m so fuckin’ tired of- of having hope that things will end different and then they never do!” The more words that poured out of them, the more anger bled into their voice. “It’s like, come on! They’ve had decades and so many different fuckin’ players and management to get their shit together and they never do! How much longer do they think people are gonna blindly follow them until…” A sob crept up their throat. “...Until we all decide to just… not care.”

They sighed in frustration. “I know it’s so stupid to fuckin’ care about a stupid team this much… I don’t know… They were the only good thing from my childhood.” Darlin’ chuckled at their last statement. “God, how has mt life been if this fuckin’ team was the best part?”

He rubbed their arm to comfort them. “Well on the bright side, it led you to my arms, so could it have been that bad?” Darlin’ pinched his chest, but that only caused their vampire to laugh harder. “Am I wrong, Darlin’? You seem to be enjoyin’ my arms a little too much,” he teased, acting as if it was a complaint against them. They both knew that Sam would rather die again than see his wolf in another person’s arms.

He held their face in his hands. Sam knew every little habit and quirk that Darlin’ had, and he knew that they wouldn’t look him in the eyes whenever they got emotional like this. “Darlin’, I need you to look at me please.”

They did as he asked them to, lifting their gaze and getting lost in his silver eyes. He kissed their forehead, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ against their skin. They don’t know if he’ll ever understand how fucking terrifying it was to have someone know them so well. But they wouldn’t trade that blissful feeling for anything else.

“It’s not stupid to care about this team, Darlin’. They were a huge part of your best memories as a kid. And maybe you will get tired of them one day and it will suck. But there’s no shame in lovin’ unconditionally.”

Darlin’s vision blurred again and cleared their throat to stop themselves from sobbing. “Even if they hurt me over and over again?”

Sam smirked, “well if they hurt you again, I’ll have to pay a visit down to their office and make sure they win.” Darlin’ scoffed at his cockiness but didn’t stop him from continuing. “‘Sides, like you always say.”

“Oh God, don’t say it-”

“There’s always next year.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

comparisons ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2195

request?: yes!

“Can I get a Colson Baker one where you’re dating after him and Megan where you get a bunch of hate and they both defend you against the hate please”

description: when her boyfriend’s ex is one of the most beautiful actresses of this generation, she finds herself being constantly compared to her and receiving hateful messages

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, hate messages, insecurities

masterlist (one, two)

There was some sort of assumption that when you start dating someone, you immediately hate their ex. That could not be further from the truth for me and Colson. In fact, Colson’s ex-girlfriend introduced us shortly after their break up, and had constantly pushed for the two of us to get together.

Megan was basically the backbone in our friendship. She pushed me to pursue my dreams in acting (as well as helped you with that since she was so much more famous than you were when you started), then she pushed me to start auditioning for bigger roles. The moment she introduced me to Colson, I knew exactly what was coming next.

“That’s weird, Meg,” I had told her. “Isn’t there, like, a girl code about dating your best friend’s ex?”

“I’m literally shoving you onto him,” she had responded. “I think you’re fine with the girl code.”

A few months after meeting, I finally caved and asked Colson out on a date. Six months later, I was still thanking Megan for giving me that push.

Shortly after making our relationship public, however, the happiness slowly came to a stop. For me, anyways. Colson, bless his heart, was blissfully ignorant to the comments his fanbase started to send me.

“yikes, he really downgraded huh?”

“how do you go from megan fox to...that?”

“guess mgk couldn’t keep up his streak of hot girlfriends”

Hate comes with fame, I knew that. I had my fair share of hate comments ever since the start. It was easy to ignore them when they were just a handful of hate comments here and there, but this was different. This was a bombardment of hate that was so heavy I could barley go online.

Colson was oblivious for a while, until he found out I had deleted all my social media accounts.

“Did you delete your Instagram babe?” he asked the minute he got home the day I had done it.

“Yeah,” I responded, nonchalantly. “I deleted all my social media.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I just thought it’d be better for me mentally. They say being so attached to social media is bad for you or whatever.”

“But you weren’t even addicted to social media. You just liked sharing your memories - our memories.”

I shrugged again and turned back to my cooking. I wasn’t about to tell him his fans drove me off the internet. He loved his fans, I couldn’t fuck that up for him, even if what they were saying hurt me so much.

My back was to him as I cooked, so he couldn’t see my reaction when he asked, “Is it because people were comparing you to Megan?”

I froze completely. I could feel his eyes staring into the back of my head, but I just couldn’t convince myself to turn around to face him. I knew that if I did, I’d crack. I had gone too long pretending everything was okay, keeping this secret from Colson, to finally let it slip now. I just had to throw him off of his thought process.

“Where did you get that idea?” I asked, trying to keep my voice light.

He was next to me suddenly, holding his phone up so I could see it. On the screen was a picture of me at a red carpet just below a headline that read “(Y/F/N) deletes social media accounts amid hateful comments from boyfriend Machine Gun Kelly’s fans”.

I sighed in frustration. Of course the tabloid vultures had already written articles about it. I had only done it a few hours earlier, but they always had to be the first ones to write another story about me.

“I didn’t even know I was getting hate,” I said, trying to keep up the lie even though it was pretty obvious I had been found out. “I just decided to delete my accounts, it must be a coincidence.”

“Really? Because this article says you were receiving so much hate that you couldn’t even go into the comments on your pictures or replies on your tweets without seeing a mass amount of hate from my fans.”

I turned off the stove and turned around suddenly, abandoning my cooking completely as I quickly walked out of the kitchen and towards mine and Colson’s room. I felt a lump forming in my throat, and the last thing I wanted was for Colson to see me cry.

I wasn’t shocked to hear his footsteps coming after me. I forgot how much longer his legs were than mine, so it didn’t take long for him to catch up with me and stop me before I could get too far away. He took hold of my arm and turned me around to look at him. The moment my eyes landed on his face, it felt like someone had finally broke the dam holding back my tears.

Colson pulled me in for a hug and held me tightly as I sobbed into his chest. Every ounce of overwhelming feelings I had been bottling up for months was finally starting to come out, and I realized it was long overdue when I eventually began to grow tired from my crying.

I felt Colson pick me up and bring me to his bed. My eyes were starting to grow heavy despite how much I was fighting against them to stay awake. The minute my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep, but it was obvious I had needed that rest, because when I woke up again I felt more well rested than I had in a long time.

I opened my eyes to find myself facing the window, which helped me to pinpoint that it was now nighttime as the sky was pitch black. I rolled over, expecting to find Colson asleep next to me only to find that I was alone in his bed. I was confused at first, forgetting the events that happened mere hours earlier.

I could hear a distant voice talking and was able to identify it as Colson’s. I got up from his bed and made my way towards the stairs, hearing it get louder as I stood at the top.

“I wish she would’ve told me,” he was saying. “I don’t know why she would’ve kept this a secret from me.”

“She didn’t want you upset with your fans,” came another voice. This one was distorted like it was coming from a phone. When she spoke again, I realized it was Megan’s voice. “And she’s stubborn. She was probably determined to deal with this by herself.”

“I just hate that she felt that way,” Colson sighed. “I don’t want her believing anything any of those people said to her, but I saw screenshots and fuck...they really did just bombard her with hate.”

“I know, but none of us could’ve predicted this. Your fans were so cool with us dating, I thought they’d love (Y/N) since we’re so similar.”

I sat down on the top of the stairs and peeked down enough that I could see Colson without him seeing me. He was laid out on the couch in just his sweat pants. In his hand he was holding his phone up, the other was slung over the back of his couch. I could see the guilt on his face, which broke my heart to see. I didn’t want Colson feeling guilty for something that was out of his control.

“You think what I posted will do anything?” he asked Megan.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. When people want to hate, they just want to hate.”

Hearing that Colson had posted something made me curious. I felt around my pants for my phone, but realized I had probably left it in the room or downstairs somewhere. I was in too deep now to give myself away, but I really wanted to know what he had posted about the situation.

“Thanks for talking to me about this, Megan,” he said.

“Of course, Colson. Anytime.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Colson tossed his phone onto the coffee table and put his arm under his head. “Are you gonna come down babe?”

I wanted to ask how he knew I was there, but instead I stood from my spot and made my way down the stairs. When I entered the living room, Colson just looked up at me for a moment, almost expectantly. I smiled down at him and laid on top of him with my head on his chest. The arm that was over the back of the couch wrapped around me and he gently kissed the top of my head.

“How much did you hear?” he asked.

“Just the last bit,” I admitted. “Something about a post you made.”

Colson hummed, his chest vibrating underneath my ear as he did. “I wanted to address the issue, and I knew you wouldn’t let me do it if you were awake.”

“I still don’t like that you did it now,” I said, half joking. “Can I see the post?”

He moved his head to look down at me. “How do I know you’re not going to delete the post?”

“You don’t,” I responded. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

He smiled and reached over to grab his phone from the coffee table. He opened it and pulled up a post he had made on Instagram: it was your usual white background with text post you saw celebrities make from time to time.

It read:

“I love my fans so much. You guys are my EST family, and I’m so proud of this family that we have built over the last few years. However, it came to my attention today that some of you have been less than nice to my girlfriend to a point where she felt the need to delete her social media accounts. I will admit, I was oblivious to this at first as I am not one to go onto other people’s social media to read comments and replies, and (Y/N) kept this to herself instead of telling me about it. But now that I do know, I have to say I am beyond pissed. (Y/N) is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, inside and out. She is not Megan, and honestly - with all respect to Megan - I’m glad that she’s not. I love Megan as a friend, but truly that’s all she is to me. (Y/N) is my soulmate, the love of my life. These comparisons and jabs at her because she isn’t my ex are absolutely disgusting, especially coming from people who claim they love me as much as you guys do. Please learn how to treat the people in my life with love and respect, or else take my face out of your profile pictures and my name out of your usernames/bios as you are not a true fan of mine. From the bottom of my heart, fuck you to anyone that made my girlfriend feel like shit.”

I scrolled down to see the comments and saw that the top one was from Megan, and was already liked by Colson.

“(Y/N) is not my competition, nor is she my enemy. She is my friend and she has been since before Colson and I were ever together. The fact that people feel the need to pit two women against one another just because they both dated the same person is absolutely appalling to me. I’d like to emphasis Colson’s statement - fuck you to whoever hurt my friend.”

I handed Colson his phone back, not wanting to read any more. I could feel a lump in my throat again, but this one was from happiness. I felt so lucky to have two amazing people in my corner during a time that was otherwise very trying for me.

“I’m sorry I never told you,” I said as I rested against his chest again.

“You shouldn’t be sorry, (Y/N). I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry either. You can’t control your fans.”

“Then neither of us will be sorry.”

I chuckled at this. For a moment we were both silent, the only sound being Colson’s heart beating under my ear. It was a soothing sound, and combined with his fingers tracing over my back, I was almost lulled back to sleep.

“I love you,” he mumbled against my hair.

I lifted my head to look at him. “What?”

“I said I love you.”

I was speechless. It was the first time he had seriously said those words and he had managed to shock me into silence with them.

He looked at me, his face slowly becoming concerned with my silence.

“I love you, too,” I finally managed.

A smile broke out across Colson’s face as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him. For the rest of the night, he would whisper those three words to me randomly, and I would whisper back my response every time.

[wizkiddx]

Please I request you and Tom Holland being the sort of ‘it/star couple’ and being really popular in the media and fans

Req if you want?🤪 + I’d love any feedback/tips <3

Sorry I changed this a bit just cos tom rn seems the opposite of being that public and I have 0 imagination, hope this is still okay!

Summary: Tomhollandxactress!reader - as the two of you go on your first public and official event, Tom cant help but show everyone how enamoured he is by you

The fallout of from yesterdays ceremony was definitely not what either of you had expected. Having stirred from sleep before your boyfriend, naturally you’d killed the morning flicking through your phone. As much as you normally tried to avoid the tabloids and twitter, especially after you released your relationship to the world, having had a bunch of your friends actually sent you links to them - it would be rude not to have a quick scan. Especially because, for once, they seemed to be positive.

You see, it had always been the little things with Tom. Even when you had just been getting to know him, it was the small and unconscious actions that even he didn’t know he did. You always said Toms love language was physical - as much as he wanted to say that it was ‘words if affirmation’ or something else corny he’d read on buzzfeed (you’d got him addicted and now lived to regret it). That didn’t mean that he had to be clinging on to you, or excessive PDA or anything of the sort. It was more subtle which somehow made them more special to you. Now though, the whole world seemed to have picked up on it too.

This was the first event the two of you had actually attended together. As in together together. As in not hiding. You had been nominated for best actress; whilst Tom’s newest movie was up for a few accolades too - so fair to say it was a big night for Hollywoods newest couple. Naturally since your instagram post 3 weeks ago, the world was obsessed with you both. All the way in the car, you leg had actually been trembling with nerves - bouncing up and down in your silhettohe heels. In attempt to calm you, Tom bumped his knee against yours before reaching over to actually squeeze your thigh. 

“It’ll be fine you know?” You sighed shakily, turning your head to face Tom’s soft features. Both of you were dressed to the nines, you were in a glittery red chain-look scrappy dress; Tom in an all black suit, except the little pocket square of satin deep red - embellished with a single chain that came from your dress. Hopefully not too cliche but now the both of you were done with hiding - Tom seemed to want to just a little something. You hummed in response, searching the flicks of warm brown in his eyes with yours. 

“It’s just new and we haven’t encountered all the questions yet so I don’t know how to answer them and -”

“We’ll do them together and-and you can say no Y/n/n… you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to.” Taking a long exhale, you hesitantly nodded, allowing a small smile to grow on your face. It was terrifying but you had this doting and angelic boy by your side. You’d get through any tough questions.

However it wasn’t actually the answers you spoke that evening that stuck in the public mind. 

When you’d first pulled up to the carpet, Tom instantly hopped out and rounded the car door to get to your side just as you swung your legs out toe doorway. After waving quickly at the screaming crowd, he looked down and offered up his hand to you - which you gladly accepted. The LA weather was beautiful, and the evening was just rolling into golden hour- the suns brilliant yellow-orange light bathing your body as you climbed out the car. 

The screaming used to be terrifying and although today was a little more nerve wracking than normal, you still could be nothing but appreciative for all these people showing up. In your head it was so bizarre that anyone would spend so much time and effort to meet you - really you were just normal person, and pretty boring one at that. Yet here you were in the most bizarre situation, there was nothing else to do but smile and wave. 

Just like that you went into the ‘celebrity mode’. The pair of you worked your way down the sides, smiling warmly for selfies and signing various posters and memorabilia. Really there was nothing to worry about, everyone there was nothing but lovely -  many fan girls squealing about how amazing you looked. Tom kept himself close by, occasionally hovering his hand against the small of your back just to reassure you he was there. 

Eventually you worked up to the press line, all of them calling your names with mics outstretched. The two of you approached the first in a long line, Tom taking the moment to just hook his pinky with yours (thinking no one else would notice) because this was clearly the more threatening part of the evening and he just knew you were feeling the anxieties all over again. 

“Tom and Y/n!!! Wow how are you guys doing?” Hence began the start of overenthusiastic small talk from the blonde interviewer. 

“I mean first I gotta ask you Tom…” She drew out the words, increasing the suspense somewhat, making Tom wiggle his brows “How insane does your girl look tonight?” 

“Oh well” Tom chuckled whilst you tried to shake off the embarrassment. He looked you up and down with the biggest smirk on his face. “It’s fair to say my woman looks absolutely breathtaking. She came out the room and I did a little excited dance before we left.” The interviewer laughed and you bumped into his side, rolling your eyes in a joking fashion- though to be fair it was completely true. The interviewer then asked you a couple questions that were a bit more serious, relating to the darker material of work you were nominated for. During it a random gust of wind flew down the carpet, shocking everyone a little - none more so that the minimal pins in the top of your hair, which did little to restrict its movement and instead was flying allover the place. Squealing a little, your trial of though momentarily broken, both yours and Tom’s hands went to pull the long locks back down into place. You thought nothing of it, Tom had developed this weird thing about wanting to do you hair weeks ago - but you weren’t to complain. Constantly during movie nights, he’s be running his fingers through your strands of hair; or even after a shower he’d learn to plait it whilst you did your skincare routine. Whispering a little thanks to him, Tom then reached down to squeeze your hand as the attention was turned back to yet another interview. 

The first article you clicked on was one that your best mate had texted you the link of. On opening it up, the title already made you scoff a little ‘Tom Holland single handedly restoring all hopes that men aren’t always trash’. What followed was 4 points. 

You ever struggled to get out a car in heels? Get yourself a Spiderman to help you up

Hand holding too much PDA? How about a pinky grip?

Oh and he’s trained himself to become a hairdresser when the wind picks up….

Accompanying each subheading was photos of each moment that as it had happened yesterday evening. Unable to help yourself, you kept looking between your phone screen and Tom - who was still fast asleep, his arm wrapped protectively round your middle.  The hair that had been so securely gelled back yesterday evening, now was falling over the front of his forehead and the sight was enough to give you that feeling in the centre of your chest. The dropping feeling as if you were jumping off the edge of a cliff - the adrenalin rush and heart in mouth moment. It had been 18 months you and Tom had been like this and he still gave you the most intense flutters - even if he was snoring. 

Managing to tear your eyes away from him, you scrolled to the last point of the article.

      4.  And yes we know this is cliche… but we swear we have never seen ‘heart eyes’ in reality more that this.

And there was a photo of you, probably chatting pure shit to the interviewer, paying absolutely no attention to a particular pair of brown eyes on you. It was the way the outer corner of his eyes dropped a little to normal position; the way the corner of his lips were turned up just enough to show the slight dimples on his cheeks. Tom’s face had literally been the definition of uwu and you could not suppress the teenage girl like giggle that burst out your chest. That was enough to rouse Tom with a heavy groan, as he pulled himself flush against your side releasing a deep breath.

“Mhmmm… you laughin at me?” He slurred, eyes still shut against your stomach as you stared to card your fingers through his curls. 

“Actually… I might just be” Smirking down at him, Tom yanked his his neck up, squinting at you with a scowl and barely open eyes. “You look so soft” laughing at his expression, you brought your hand out of his curls to smooth over his frown lines.

“ Don’t try and distract me… what you laughing at?” Still pouting, of course, the boy had never been a morning person

“Just… I think you’ve accidentally made us the new Hollywood ‘it’ couple.”

[elliesguitarstrings]

promises, promises || part one: what used to be

masterlist || series masterlist

tom holland x reader

summary: you're crying over someone you haven't seen in two years, tom is straight up depressed, your friends are trying to set you up, and sam is just trying his best to help

warnings: ANGST, language, mentions of sex, little bit of fluff, probably typos

A/N: PART ONE IS HERE!!!! i absolutely love this fic and i hope you guys love it as much as i do :)

p.s. this ended up being really long sooooo i decided to make it into a series instead lol if y'all haven't figured that out

wc: 5k

~~~~~~~~

"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.

"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.

"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.

The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND

"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.

"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.

The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.

Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"

This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.

Paddy pipes up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"

"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"

You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.

"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."

Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.

"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.

The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.

"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"

You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.

"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"

Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."

"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."

She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.

You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.

"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.

"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.

"But I want you here too!" he pouts.

"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.

"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.

"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"

Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.

You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.

After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.

You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.

"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.

"Everything's gonna change you know. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.

He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"

You smile softly, "You promise?"

"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment forever with him, and only him.

That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything had changed. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.

Now, Tom is a world-famous actor, living a luxurious life out in Hollywood. You, however, have stayed in England, living only thirty minutes away from your childhood home with your newfound best friends Julia and Finn. You are no longer a part of Tom's life, and he is no longer a part of yours. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten about him.

How could you possibly forget about Tom? Your entire childhood was spent with him. From the ages of two to twenty-two, you were inseparable. To this day, you still remember when you first met, and you think about it often.

"I no wanna go! I stay home and watch princesses!" you cry, defiantly pulling away from your mother's firm grip as she tries to stuff you into shoes that are much too small for your rapidly growing feet.

"I know honey, but we have to go welcome the new neighbors who just moved in across the street. We made them brownies, remember?" she smiles.

You scrunch your face up, " No! I stay home!"

Your dad chimes in, kneeling down to your level. "Listen peanut. How about we make a deal. You come with us and say hello to the new neighbors, and then after we get home you can watch any princess movie you want and maybe even have some ice cream, how does that sound?"

You smile, "Ice cream with rainbow sprinkles?"

He rubs your head, "With rainbow sprinkles."

"Okay. I go then."

Your parents smile, and you hold their hands as you walk across the street to meet the neighbors. Your mom rings the doorbell, and the door opens to reveal a red-headed woman, smiling at you and your parents. Hiding behind her is a small, curly-headed brunette boy about the same height as you.

Your mom introduces herself, "Hi! My name is Y/M/N, this is my husband Y/D/N, and this is my daughter Y/N. We live right across the street, and we just wanted to welcome you into the neighborhood." She outstretches her arms, holding the brownies, "I made these for you as well, I hope you like them!"

The woman smiles, "Oh, wow, thank you so much, you are so sweet! Would you like to come in for a bit?"

"Of course, as long as you'll have us."

She ushers the three of you in and you stay close to your mom, still wary of entering a stranger's home.

As she closes the door behind her, she introduces herself as well, "Sorry, the house is a little messy, we’re still getting settled in. But I'm Nikki, my husband Dominic is unpacking in the kitchen, and this is Tom." She motions to the boy behind her, "Tom, say hello to the nice people!"

He timidly steps forward, waving at you and your parents. "Hello." he says quietly.

"Oh my, he is adorable!" your mom gushes. She walks over to him, "How old are you Tom?"

He holds up two fingers, "This many."

She smiles, "Two years old? Wow, you're so big! Guess what, you know who else is that many?" Tom shakes his head no. "My daughter Y/N!" She motions for you to come, and you shyly walk forward.

You wave at him, and that makes him smile. Nikki taps Tom on the shoulder, "Do you maybe want to show Y/N your toys upstairs?

He nods his head, smiling at you, "Wanna go play?" he asks.

You smile back, looking at your mom for permission. She nods her head and pushes you forward. "Okay, we go." you respond. He takes your hand and pulls you upstairs, seemingly coming out of his shell. You don't know what it is about this boy, but he makes you feel warm, like a hug. It's something your two-year-old brain can't quite comprehend, but suddenly you couldn't care less about watching princess movies or eating ice cream.

Sometimes you wish that day had never happened, that you had never met him. You wish your little two-year-old self had fought harder against your parents so that you wouldn’t have to endure the years of pain he would cause you later in life. But you can’t go back, and in part, you’re glad about that. He was your first friend, your first crush, and your first love. But he was also your first heartbreak, and that’s something you can never forget.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by a sharp knock on your bedroom door. "Hey, are you almost ready? We have to leave in ten or we'll be late!" you hear Julia's muffled voice from the other side of the door. Finn is hosting a gala tonight for his art studio, and being his best friends and roommates, you and Julia are basically required to go.

"Uh, yeah, I'm about done, I'll be out in a minute!" You haven't even started getting ready, but you don't have any more time. You quickly raid your closet and find a short v-neck black dress and matching heels. You wiggle into the dress as you make your way into the bathroom. You had planned on straightening your hair, but you have no time, so instead, you brush it back into a sleek low ponytail and spray it with a bit of hairspray. There's no time for the elaborate makeup look you had planned either, so you quickly throw on some concealer, blush, mascara, eyeliner, a bit of highlight, and you're set. As you walk to the door, you grab your purse and slip on your heels, making sure you have your phone and keys. Finn and Julia are already waiting in the car, both with disapproving looks.

"What the fuck took you so long? We were supposed to leave five minutes ago! You know I can't be late for this thing." Finn complains as you slip into the backseat.

"Sorry, I, uhm, don't feel well. A little nauseous." you lie. You don't feel like telling them that you were actually crying about someone you haven't seen or talked to in two and a half years like you do every other night.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Julia chuckles.

"Oh please, we all know that Y/N hasn't gotten any since he who must not be named." Finn replies for you.

"Thanks Finn, what a great friend." you joke sarcastically.

He's not wrong though. Since you and Tom broke up, you haven’t slept with a single person. You’ve been on a few dates and kissed a few guys, but nothing past that. The closest you got was about a month after Tom broke it off with you. You were looking for someone to take your mind off of him, so you found a random guy named David at a pub and took him back to your place. But as soon as he took off his shirt, you saw a birthmark on his back that looked eerily similar to Tom’s, and you promptly broke down crying.

No matter what you do, you just can’t seem to get him off your mind.

"Alright bitches, we're here." Finn sighs. "Help me bring my stuff in, we don't have much time thanks to someone who took ages to get ready."

You give a halfhearted apology as you grab Finn's paintings from the back of his car. Julia stops you before you follow Finn into the venue, "Babe, are you sure you're doing alright?"

You smile lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Okay, if you say so. And sorry about Finn mentioning... him. It's been two years, he should know better."

"Oh, no. No, don't worry about that. It's okay. I don't care." you lie.

She gives you an encouraging nudge on the shoulder, "Hey, who knows, maybe you'll find a hottie here tonight and finally get back out there! What do you think, huh?"

"Yeah, that would be great, actually. Maybe Finn can introduce me to his friend James, I know he's pretty hot." you say just to get her off your back. You know for a fact that you won't be going home with anyone tonight, but you want to ease her conscience, so you continue to lie.

"That's the spirit! Good luck hun, love you."

"Thanks Jules, love you too." you smile.

Halfway through the gala, you already want to go home. Finn is over at the bar flirting with some guy, probably trying to get him to buy his artwork. Meanwhile, Julia has disappeared into the bathroom with her boyfriend Ollie, who she invited about thirty minutes into the event because she "got bored."

You look at your phone and realize it's already midnight, and you know the event won't be ending anytime soon. You slowly make your way over to Finn through the sea of people and tap him on the shoulder, drawing his attention away from whatever guy he's flirting with.

"Hey Y/N, how's it going with James?" he asks excitedly.

"Oh, um, it didn't work out, thanks for introducing me though. I just wanted to come tell you that I'm still not feeling well, so I think I'm gonna head home, sorry."

"Oh, okay, no problem. You're probably gonna be alone tonight though, just a heads up. Jules is going back to Ollie's for the night, and" he starts to whisper, "I think I might be going home with this hunk."

You laugh, "Okay, thanks Finn, see you tomorrow then."

"Bye babe. Do you have a ride?" he questions.

"Uh, no, I'm just gonna Uber home, it's no problem."

Finn gasps, "Not this late at night you're not! Let me drive you, hottie with a body over here can wait."

"No, no, don't let me ruin your night. I'll just call Sam then."

His eyes widen, "Like... his brother Sam?"

"Yeah, we're friends still, it's not a big deal. Trust me."

"Okay, fine. But text me when you get home, okay?"

"Okay, love you Finn, see you later." you give him a quick hug and walk outside to call Sam.

You aren't lying, you and Sam are still good friends. Back when you and Tom were together, Sam was the brother that you were closest to, and you felt that it would be unfair to cut ties with the rest of the Hollands just because Tom was a dick to you seeing as they were as much of a family to you as your own parents were, maybe even more. He was attending culinary school in the area anyway, so you decide he’s the best person to call.

As expected, he's happy to drive you home, and about ten minutes later he arrives at the venue where you are still standing outside.

"Hey Sam, I'm sorry for calling this late, but thank you so much for picking me up." you smile as you slide into the passenger seat.

"It's no problem, I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. How've you been?"

"Fine, I guess. How about you?"

"C'mon, I know that look. Something's up with you." he pries.

"I told you on the phone, I'm just not feeling well." you lie, hoping he doesn't catch on.

"It's Tom isn't it?"

"How the fuck do you always know?"

He chuckles. "He is my brother, remember? And you're basically my sister too. I've known you both for literally my entire life, so trust me, I know when it's about him."

You sign in defeat, "I don't know why I can't get over him Sam. It's been nearly three years since we broke up, and I haven't seen him since. My roommates think I'm overreacting, and honestly, I'm starting to agree with them. I should be moved on by now, but I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Hey, hey, don't listen to them, you aren't overreacting. You and Tom were literally attached at the hip for twenty two years, and you weren't even dating for most of them. It's completely normal for you to feel like this, trust me. And I know it doesn't help much for me to say this because I've said it a million times before, but Tom's a complete dick for what he did to you. He's my brother, and I love him, but he's a dick."

"Thanks Sam. I just wish I knew why, y'know? Why, after twenty-two fucking years, he just completely cut me out of his life." you feel your eyes brimming with tears.

"I wish I could have an answer for you Y/N, I really do. But I haven't got a clue. Hell, I honestly don't even know if Tom knows why he did it."

You sigh, "Well, he must have had a reason. Plus, he seems to be doing great in Hollywood. He seems perfectly happy without me."

"You've been stalking him on Instagram, haven't you?" Sam chuckles.

You laugh, "Shut up." That's the great thing about Sam. He can always lighten up a situation, no matter how serious or how sad. Tom did the same thing, that was one of the things you liked most about him.

You and Sam sit in silence for a few minutes, until he finally breaks it. "He's not, you know."

"Huh?" you question, confused.

"He's not happy. You said he seems happy without you, but he's not. He's doing terribly, and it's not just from stress or his work. He won't admit it, but he misses you." he pauses, "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but he asked about you the other day. About how you were doing and shit like that. I think he would take it back if he could."

You want so badly to believe him, belief that Tom actually still cares about you after all this time. But false hope is the last thing you need right now.

"Well, he can't, can he?" you say sharply, tears still threatening to flow out.

You and Sam sit in silence for the last five minutes of the ride back to your apartment. As he slows the car to a stop, Sam looks over at you sympathetically, "Look, I'm sorry if what I said made things worse. I just wanted you to know that your feelings aren't... one-sided I guess."

You know better than to yell at Sam, he was just trying to make you feel better, so instead of spitting out the sarcastic remark that was on your tongue, you manage out a half-hearted, "It's okay, thanks Sam." and shut the car door.

As soon as the door of your apartment closes behind you, all of the emotions come crashing down on you. A mixture of sadness, anger, guilt, and regret crushed your heart, smashing it into a million little pieces. It feels like two and a half years ago, when he first broke up with you, all over again. Everything was fine until Sam brought him up again, and the memories just all flooded back in. You fall to the floor, clutching your chest in pain, wishing someone was here for you. Wishing he was here for you. At the moment, it feels like you have no one. In reality, you do; you have an entire support system of people who love you so much and would do anything to protect you. But you only want him. You need him. He is the only person you have ever wanted, ever needed, and he's gone.

You want to hate him, you really do. He's caused you more pain in the past two and a half years than anyone or anything has ever caused you in your entire life. But you can't. You can never, and will never, hate him. Which makes you hate yourself.

After what feels like hours of crying, you finally calm down. There's no one at home to talk to and it's too late to call anyone at this point, so you flip on the tv. There's nothing good on Netflix or Hulu that you haven't seen yet, so you scroll through the other apps. You remember that you just got a free Apple TV subscription with your new phone, so you check to see what's on there.

And there it is. Cherry.

His face right on the screen in front of you, lighting your dark bedroom red. You know it's a bad idea and you know you'll regret it, but something draws you to watch it. You need him right now, and this is about the closest you're going to get.

It's fine at first. It's actually nice to see his face again after so long. He looks basically the same as the last time you saw him, just a little more mature. You feel good supporting him, even if he doesn't know it.

But then it's not fine. His character had just gotten into a fight with his girlfriend, so she comes to visit him in his apartment. They talk, and eventually he reveals that he joined the army and has to go away for two years.

"It's just a couple years. Just a couple years and a lifetime together." he whispers.

Then it all hits you, and you break down crying once again. You can't help but think back to that night in the treehouse, and how the conversation is so eerily similar. You wonder if Tom was thinking about it too, while he was filming the scene. Obviously, the circumstances were different, but it still makes you wonder.

You quickly shut the TV off, unable to bear it anymore. With nothing else to do, you try to sleep, but your thoughts keep you up. And as much as you try to fight it, your mind drifts back to the day you so badly want to forget. The day that it all ended.

"Hey, Tommy, what's up? I'm excited to see you tonight!" you pick up the phone. Tom is supposed to come back to London after filming his first solo Spiderman movie, and you could not be more excited to see him. It's been almost a full year since he left for America, and you miss him so much.

"Yea, uhm, about that. Plans have, er, changed a bit." you can hear the solemn tone in his voice.

"Oh no, what happened? Did your flight get delayed or something? I know there's some rough weather in Atlanta, but I didn't realize it was that bad."

"No, no, it's not that. I don't really know how to say this," he sighs, "I'm not coming home."

Your heart drops to your stomach. "What?"

"Yeah. I'm, um, I'm staying in America for now. I found a house in LA, it's nice."

"Well when are you coming back then?" you utter in disbelief.

"Not anytime soon. I have work, so it's just easier for me to be in America. I'm sorry." his tone is stiff.

"But what about us? I miss you so much, these past few months have already been hell for me. I don't think I can survive much longer without seeing you."

No response.

"Tom, are you still there? You know I can't move in with you. I'm already enrolled in university here in London, I can't drop everything and come to America if that's what you want."

"That's not what I want." At this point he seems to have no emotion in his voice, as if he's reading directly from a script.

"So then what do you want?" you start to really worry, tears already stinging your eyes.

"I think you can probably figure that out by now, Y/N."

"Tom, no. You seriously can't be thinking-"

"Yeah, I am thinking that. You've already said that these past few months have been hell, and I'm too busy with work, so I think that's the only option."

You plead with him, "Tom, please! We can figure this out, I love you so much. We can't break up Tom, I can't lose you." You're sobbing at this point, scared to lose the one person you need the most.

"No, we can't figure this out. We have to break up, there's no other choice."

"What happened to you and me forever? That- that night in the treehouse you said you wouldn't let anything come between us!"

"We were kids, Y/N! We had no idea what our lives were going to turn out like. That was a stupid thing to say and I never should have said it, okay? You can't keep every promise you make, especially when you're eighteen. But we're mature adults now, and the mature way to handle this is to break up. Understand?" His voice is booming through your phone speaker, and it's nothing you've ever heard come from him before. He was always calm, looking for a way to work things out. But now, he's completely giving up.

"Tom, please, I-"

"No, Y/N, I don't have time for this right now, I'm sorry. Goodbye."

He hung up. He's gone.

That was the last time you spoke to him. You didn't even get to properly say goodbye, let alone see his face before he was gone forever.

Unbeknownst to you, that phone call is still, to this day, Tom's biggest regret. Almost immediately after he hung up, he wished he had never called you in the first place. He was stressed from work, he was angry at his management team for making him stay in America, but most of all he missed you. So he did the only thing he could think of to take it all away - separate himself from you. He thought that if he broke up with you, he would feel better about his career choices and he wouldn’t have to wwc:orry about missing you anymore because it would be over.

He was wrong.

Every day since then, he’s wanted to call you, text, you, or somehow contact you to apologize; explain why he did what he did and how he still loves you, still needs you, still misses you every second of his life. But he knows he can’t. You would never be able to forgive him for breaking it all off so suddenly. There’s no way in hell you could still love him after something like that.

So he’s stayed out of reach from you for good. And he hopes that maybe one day he’ll be able to move on, find someone new like you’ve probably done by now. But deep down he knows he never will.

You’re still unable to sleep, and now that it’s almost four in the morning, you decide that you probably won’t be able to for the rest of the night. Not knowing what else’s to do, you begrudgingly roll out of bed and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As you fill up your mug with warm water, you hear a knock at the door.

Who the fuck would be coming to your apartment this early? You suspect it’s Finn, as he always manages to forget his key. Maybe his night with the mystery bar hunk didn’t go as well as he had planned. You quickly set a tea bag in your mug and walk to open the door.

“Back so soon Fi... what the fuck.” your heart drops to your stomach.

It’s him. The same brown-haired, brown-eyed, British boy that you remember, staring down at you from outside your apartment at four in the morning.

“Hey.”

~~~~~~~~

tags: @pxkajesus @roseke @agentsofparker @lifeasjazzz @damnrancidchicken @tomhoelland01 @iwannabekilledtwice @rafehogwarts @non-eexistent @rosiexx8 @nearlydanger9 @realityisabitch07 @midgardassassins @jbreenr @cap-marvxl @ellesmythe @deepestcolorgiantopera @that-one-person @nevertrustapanda16 @rxmanxff @bubbleskz @quinn-spn58 @idkkkkaaw @aayaissaa @pjmjams @tiredstudenttrinity @isabella-bby @hollandprkr @pure-ghost @ladykxxx08 @white-wolf1940 @runawayolives @geekgirleve @thathurtbrolol @lost-girl24 @justafangirlduh @emistrash @writingrem @hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @mathletemadison @paulaabellag @miraclesoflove @captainamirica @mlmarint @quaksonhehe @laneybobeczko-g @peterspideysense @hollandstanevans @anna-sofia

[perfectly-imperfect82]

Custody fight part 2-Kellex

We were currently eating dinner in the conference. All of us just hanging out and preparing for our game tomorrow.

"Have you guys heard from her?" Allie asked looking at me. I knew her and everyone the team missed and her not talking to them or us was also getting to them.

"No, she hasn't even posted on any social media" I said looking at Allie who was looking at me sadly.

"It killing Kelley and I to not even know if she is okay. At least if she posted something we could have an idea" I continued

"I'm sure she is doing good. If she wasn't, I'm sure she would have reached out to someone by now. She is probably just busy playing sports and trying to be the top of her class like she was in Orlando" Allie said

"You guys, look what I found!" Emily yelled running into the conference room waving her phone around with smile.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to Allie, it was probably just another TikTok or meme

That when I felt the phone shoved in my face causing me to shove it away and glare at the blonde defender as she then shove it in Kelley's face.

I watched as my wife scanned over the phone before she looked at me with tears in her eyes before handing me the phone

I looked at it  and the first thing I notice was picture of (Y/n) with another girl in an USA soccer uniform. I quickly read the article and looked at the pictures and videos.

My heart broke even more when I saw that her last name was changed to her biological parents, no longer Morgan-O'Hara.

"They moved her up to the U-16 team as a 13 year old" I said with a sad  but proud smile as I handed the phone back to Emily as everyone was saying that was a good thing.

"She doesn't have our last name anymore" Kelley said sadly and instantly everyone went silent. We all watched as she sadly walked out of the conference room as Allie pulled me into a side hug. I watch as Christen and Emily went to go after her.

I quickly stood up, stopping them.

"I got her" I said, they haven't seen how bad Kelley can get over (y/n) and I know they won't know how to deal with her.

"If you need anything, just let us know" Christen said and I nodded with a tight lipped smile before I went after my wife.

I quickly made my way up to our hotel room. I took a deep breath before walking into the room.

The sight pulled at my heart, I hated seeing my wife upset and knowing I couldn't fully take away her pain.

"Kel" I said quietly as I made my way over to her, she was staring at her phone with tears coming down her face.

I sat on the bed and pulled her on to my lap as I saw what she was staring at. It was videos and pictures of the games the (y/n) just played in.

"She is playing amazingly" kel said quietly

"She looks happy and healthy" I said as I grabbed her phone and locked it

"No" Kelley said as she reached for her phone and I put it on the nightstand and grabbed her hands

"No, we are not having that talk again. About how we still need to live our life" Kelley said angrily as she moved from my lap and glared at me

"Kelley, we are doing everything we can to get her back. We can't be depressed and sad all the time. We still have to live. We can see she is living her life, we need to also"

"She is our kid Alex and she isn't with either one of us. It's been 2 months and you don't even seem sad or like you care anymore!" Kelley said which caused me to get mad as I was now glaring back at her

"You have no right to say that! I do care. I love our kid more than anything in this world, but their is only so much we can do" I said glaring at the women in front of me.

How dare she say that. I'm used to coming home everyday and seeing (y/n) since she chose to live in Orlando because the beach was there. It was killing me not being able to she her everyday, her not responding to us making it even worst.

"I'm sorry, I had no right to say that" Kelley said as more tears fell down her face "it's just what if she doesn't want to come back home. What if she likes her life better with them then us. What if we never get her back?" Kelley continued which caused all anger to leave my body as I pulled her back into my arms.

"That's not true, we both know if she got the option she would come back. Our kid is just really good at making the best of bad situations"  I said but even now I was also feeling unsure if she would come back

"Are you sure? she hasn't had talked with anyone she considers family and us. She even left all the clothes she loves to steal from us. It's like she planned on acting we never met" Kelley said as she looked completely defeated

"I'm positive Kelley, she loves us just as much as we love her. I can't tell you why she isn't responding. It could be for many different reasons that have nothing to do with her not wanting to come back to us"

Kelley just nodded, not looking convinced but more calm then before. She moved back up me and laid down, causing me to join her and pull her into my chest.

"I just want her back with us" Kelley whispered

"Me to" I whispered as we both fell asleep

[beevean]

SEGA and its most recent Sonamy side – more canon than ever

[Translator’s note: this article was originally written in Spanish by @latin-dr-robotnik​]

Hello again! Today we’d like to discuss about something that’s been happening recently, and probably taking Sonic fans by surprise: what is going on with SEGA and its stance about Sonamy?

At the beginning of this year, to celebrate the 200 articles on Seaside Hill Paradise, I finished what I call “the Sonamy trilogy” of articles that I started in 2018 and which cover different themes, such as:

SEGA and the eternal issue of the Sonic-Amy dynamic

“I love you” – Forbidden words in Sonic

SEGA and the eternal issue of “Sonic’s girlfriend”

The idea was to offer a more-or-less complete analysis about the many facets of their dynamic in the last 27 years; a dynamic that, you may have noticed, is not that easy to pin down, and that we’ve been updating almost regularly (although I also intended to investigate on other dynamics, like Knuckles and Rouge’s for example, and write about them). Generally speaking, in these articles I don’t draw objective conclusions about the status of the ship in canon (despite the fact that the available information tends to confirm it in various occasions). I also like to repeat myself and say that shipping is supposed to be for fun, not for tearing each other’s hair in that black hole of misery that is Twitter, but recent events left us slightly perplexed, and this is why we’re here once again.

We left the status of the Sonamy canonicity with these two peculiar instances back in August: Sonic mentioning his “girlfriend” in the Japanese version of Sonic Battle, and the Twitter account of SEGA of Europe saying Sonamy is their “favorite videogame romance”. Now, let’s recap a bit…

Sonamy in Sonic IDW... Round 3

[SPOILERS ALERT FOR IDW SONIC #14-#35]

In 2018, when IDW just started, I decided to study a little how the Sonamy dynamic worked in this new universe. To our surprise, the comic didn’t waste time in dropping its biggest bomb, in one of the cutest scenes we had seen in ages. Since the very beginning, IDW proved that it didn’t intend to deceive those fans that looked for a bit of development of both characters.

I wrote an article about it in June 2019, and it coincided with the beginning of one of the most infamous arc I’ve seen in a Sonic comic for a long time: the Metal Virus Saga. The question is, what has happened since then?

Well, in 2019, with the same accuracy of an aimbot, I said “We’ll probably see some new interactions between Sonic and Amy sometime around IDW #20”. And wouldn’t you know, as misery and tragedy settled in that arc, it was exactly around IDW #20 that we saw some Sonamy interactions: both exhausted, to their limit, with a Sonic that couldn’t even touch Amy to soothe her pain, due to him being infected with the virus.

The arc developed like this in what felt like an eternity, to finally conclude in one the most absurd ways in Sonic history. But it wasn’t a complete disappointment, as, after months and months of asking and discussing on the internet about how much Sonic and Amy deserved a hug at the end of the arc… it actually happened.

Since that moment in IDW #32, we shippers thought that it was what both of them deserved after so much time spent separated and pushed to their limit to survive, but also that after the end of the arc everything would go back to normal. However, what we didn’t know was that the Sonamy train had no intention of stopping, not in IDW, nor anywhere else.

A recurring detail in IDW Sonic is that Amy’s tail starts wagging every time she sees Sonic, as if she was a happy dog. I swear, it happens every time.

Come IDW #35, once again we have some hugs and bits of dialogue between our hedgehogs. For sure, the question here isn’t their relationship itself, as it was for IDW #2, but rather the issues this arc is slowly dealing with. But it’s really nice to see them again, sharing that closeness that they’ve had in the comic since the beginning– be it with some gestures of affection, a wink, a gesture, a private joke.

My favorite image is the first one, Belle’s reaction to seeing Amy hugging Sonic. It’s like she’s thinking “oh, is she his girlfriend?”, and she wouldn’t even be wrong in thinking that.

It can’t be denied that IDW Sonic provided us the conversations and the emotions that the games seldom do. Certainly, the comic has its share of issues and it’s not really a story that I personally follow for its own merits (it’s more because it’s still Sonic, for my interest for things like this, and Belle’s existence… whom I already ship with Tails, sorry not sorry), but what it does well it does really well.

For now, we have to see how IDW Sonic will follow the development of the characters, especially in view of the closure of the current story and beyond. And we may be done with this part of the article, but there is still a lot left.

Sonamy in merchandise

Taking us completely by surprise, recently SEGA launched, in collaboration with Hot Topic, a series of Sonamy-themed t-shirts. No, seriously.

So many people told me this as soon as the voice spread (you know who you are, thank you guys for thinking about me <3), and I can’t help being still surprised that this is actually a thing. T-shirts with lines like “You’re my favorite”, “Love in the fast lane”, and my personal favorite, “S&A Forever”, with drawings of Classic Sonic and Amy… in SEGA-approved products. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal this is, even more than “Celebrate the 25 years of Sonic’s girlfriend” from 2018.

One of the things that surprised me the most (aside from how explicit they are in officializing the relationship, and the fact that there are still 2 months left before Valentine’s Day 2021), was the decision to use Classic Sonic and Classic Amy. I tried to understand this decision by analyzing the simplicity and easiness with which the Classic designs convey a message (let’s not forget that Classic Sonic was so iconic because it was specifically designed to convey his expressions without words), besides the fact that they’re inherently cuter than their modern designs. There’s also the controversial aspect of post-Adventure Sonamy, with all the dubbing and weird interpretations that the fandom made over the years… By comparison, the Classic design are a much simpler choice.

What is actually going on?

Well, let’s take a step back and think about what we just saw. The way SEGA has been recently trying to push Sonic and Amy in front view (and for the entirety of 2020, based on the articles I mentioned in the beginning) tells us the harsh truth we all have to accept sooner or later: Sonamy sells, and it sells a lot.

From a strictly business point of view, the ship is so iconic and popular, with fans and detractors alike, that it would be absurd for SEGA to ignore the chance to print these two characters and get a load of money. As I said in my 2018 article, despite the fact that in Japan Sonic isn’t as big of an icon as it is elsewhere, they know pretty well that Sonic + Amy = love, and they have huge amounts of merchandise to back it up. It’s in the West that because of different cultural values, of which we’ve already talked about, along with some internal resistance, left this aspect of the franchise a little on the side. But they’ve been trying to fix it… and how…

Let’s not forget that a decade and a half ago Sonic Team seriously favored Sonamy. They officially said it, Sonic X was their purest view of Sonic they had at the time.

Outside of the business perspective, I believe we’re facing the moment that we’ve been waiting for: it’s time they’ll establish once and for all the dynamic of these two characters, following more closely the original Japanese vision of Sonic. I said many times that, in trying to change canon, the West, especially SEGA of America, did nothing but confuse fans and generate more discussions than needed, by introducing different data and portrayals that contradict the canon established by Sonic Team.

We’ve talked about Unleashed and emotional support, about Sonic X, about the major moments that opened the door to interpreting this dynamic as something more. We don’t threaten at gunpoint those who would rather stay away, but we respond to those declarations that still try to violently discredit the simple fact that Sonic and Amy, who are most of all close friends, form in some measure a couple that, even with its imposed limitations, manages to captivate fans and not fans everywhere in the world. Even the Simpsons used it as a joke, and that says a lot.

What the future has in store for us.

Unless something else happens in this last month of 2020, this is the most complete compilation I can offer at the moment about the status of Sonamy in the fandom and in the official canon. Yes, canon.

It’s impossible to ignore the signals. As you may have noticed, I’ve been considering Sonic and Amy as an official couple, with its clarifications (for example, that at the end it’s more of a friendship, that it’s not a romantic relationship in the most explicit way, that it’s more of a personal perspective to justify a more mature vision of the relationship in the future, not right now), but nowadays I think that SEGA has spoken loud and clear. I think canon is ready to negotiate the idea that Sonic and Amy, apart from being excellent friends who would risk their lives for each other in a heartbeat, have something else on their hands (probably the other’s hand). This won’t automatically translate into a kiss, or a complete love declaration (although Sonic X came close…), or a commitment to a formal relationship like we know them in real life. SEGA canon affirms that Amy is “Sonic’s girlfriend” and nothing more. Outside of that detail, they still pretty much function as friends interacting with a little flirting here, and a little Sonic running away there. It’s the basis of their dynamic, now enhanced by the fact that SEGA is giving us a clearer message.

I think that this all may culminate in a game or an animated series, but I wouldn’t completely count on that. It is good to recognize how far the official position goes on this issue, but at the same time I want to reaffirm that there are things that are better left in the hands of the fandom, and in the meantime that IDW or any other continuity gives us hugs, winks, gestures and words of encouragement, we as the fandom will take care of exploring other avenues and hypothetical scenarios.

This is all I have to say on the matter for now, and I hope you’re happy with this wonderful Sonamy experience we’re going through – I certainly am. See you next time!

[kaitycole]

Love One: the love that looks right

Summary: Ushijima has been your neighbor and best friend for most of your life, so it's no surprise that you two end up being each other's first relationship. But can a relationship that's label as perfect from the beginning, that's seen as being 'The One', can it last?

Parings: Ushijima x Reader

Word Count: 4916

Warnings: Fluff? Light angst.

Rating: 16+

A/N: This series is based on an article that talks about how in live, most of us experience three types of love. I’ll link the article in the series master post for anyone who wants to read it!

2000 – 6 years old

“Toshi! Toshi!” You ran down the steps in front of your house, skipping across the yard and into the neighboring yard, continuing to shout out of the young boy. You found him, watering can in hand, inspecting some plant whose name you can’t remember even though he’s told you several times.

A smirk appeared as you slowed your pace, creeping up behind him before you jumped onto his back, yelling his name a bit too loudly and too close to his ear. He gasped, water spilled everywhere as the can fell, and before he could balance his footing, you fell off his back, landing directly on his plant.

“Oops, sorry Toshi.” You took the hand that he offered, fixed your eyes on the tips of your shoes, tears pooled in your eyes. “It was an accident. Promise.”

He didn’t say anything, gentle hands tried to get the plant to stand, but the broken stem caused it to just fall back onto the soil. His face remained stoic and you couldn’t help but feel terrible, waiting for him to get mad at you. But he didn’t, he just stared at the broken plant, small hands tightly gripped the watering can handle.

He finally looked over at you, tears fell down your cheeks as you stood there, trembling.

He looked around until bright yellow and blue caught your eye, walking to the other side of the yard he picked up the volleyball, turning towards you. “Let’s play.”

A huge smile tugged at your lips before you eagerly agreed, running over towards him, this time just throwing your arms around him. Even though you do most of the talking and he’s usually just going along with one of your various demands, Wakatoshi always seemed to know how to make you feel better. After all, you had both promised to be best friends forever.

*                      * 2010– 16 years old

You let out a sigh, tugging at the purple tie around your neck before glancing out the window. For some reason that day just won’t end, each minute creeping by at a snail-pace, but the blur of green catches your eye. You watch at Ushijima walks through the courtyard, carrying some large box for a teacher who seems to be repeatedly thanking him and you can’t help but smile.

The Ushijimas have been in your life since before you were even born, both of your dads had attended Shiratorizawa Academy back in the day and never really lost contact, even when Utsui moved overseas. Unlike Ushijima, you have a younger brother who’s five years younger than you, but most days the two of you would be found together, usually with either him suggesting volleyball or him just dragging his feet to follow after whatever you wanted to do.

The bell finally rings, signaling the lunch break and you eagerly pack up your books before grabbing your bag and heading out to the courtyard. At first you were worried about school, wondering how you’d be able to fit in, but you ended up going to the same schools with Ushijima and even if you’d only get a small head nod, you still knew he was there. The downside was the amounts of classmates that would try to use you to get close to him, those confessing their crushes for him to you in hopes you’d spread it along with a good word. Not to mention the lack of confessions you’d receive due to the intimidating aura that surrounded Ushijima and the well-known fact you two were close.

“Y/N!” Your best friend, Ren, smiles as she waves you over to your usual table. Ren is one of the only girls who hadn’t tried to get you to talk them up to Ushijima, her sight is set on Yamagata Hayato.

“You okay? You look tired.” Tensei asks, sitting across from you, unscrewing the bottle of juice in his hand.

“The day just feels like it’s dragging for some reason.” You let out a small yawn, excusing yourself as you start to eat the lunch you packed.

“Are you—” Ren starts before she’s interrupted, a random second year coming up to your table.

“Hey, L/N-san,” she starts, “is Ushijima seeing anyone?”

You want to roll your eyes, to let out an agitated sigh and tell her to just leave, but you don’t because it’s not entirely her fault that you get asked this frequently. You couldn’t blame her, he was easy on the eyes, but it didn’t stop part of you from getting a tad bit jealous.

“He’s actually in a committed relationship with Mizuna.” Tensei says, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Or was it Misaka?” Ren teasingly add, watching the second year cross her arms as she storms off.

“You two are trouble.” You laugh, taking a bit of the sandwich you brought, “what are you gonna do when she figures out they are sporting brands?”

“I doubt it. She’ll probably spend the rest of the term trying to figure out which year and class they are in.”

You just shake your head, completely entertained by that idea, mentally noting to use that next time someone asked you about Ushijima’s relationship status. Ren and Tensei are talking about something, but your focus shifts to Ushijima as you see him and Tendou walking through the courtyard, missing the smirk that your two friends share.

“Y/N,” you snap your attention to Ren, “speaking of Ushijima, when are you two going to date?”

It feels like the wind has been knocked out of you, but when you try to breathe in, it’s an icy sensation like winter air. The topic has come up before, several times in fact, but why did this time feel different? You feel your cheeks heat up when Ushijima makes eye contact, he throws up a hand, the closest anyone gets to a wave from him.

“You guys would make a good couple.” Tensei adds, getting an encouraging nod from Ren.

“We’re just friends.” You wave them both off, hoping they’d let it go.

Ren shrugs, “I don’t know. He looks at you differently than everyone else.”

You feel your heart start to thump against your chest, the heat from your cheeks rising to your ears and all you can hear is your racing heart. Did he? Was there a chance that maybe he felt the same way you had? It didn’t take a genius to see that he’s handsome or that even if he’s not the brightest academically, he makes up for it with his athletics.

It never bothered you when you had to help him study, in fact you preferred it because the little crease he got between his eyebrows when he was determined to get something, it was one of your favorite sights. You just never bothered to voice those feelings, hoping that maybe it would help things hurt less when he started dating someone else.

** “Y/N~”

“Tendou!” You jump up from the spot you’ve been sitting outside the gym, wrapping the middle blocker into a hug.

“Have you been out here the whole time? It’s cold, Y/N!”

You give him a sheepish smile, “I forgot my jacket and was waiting for Toshi.”

Tendou shakes his head before tightening his hug around you, he’s warm and you try to soak up the heat. “Ushijima, give me your jacket.” “You have yours on, why do you need mine?” “Just hand it here.” Tendou leans his head backwards to see Ushijima, “please~”

Unfazed, the wing spiker slips out of his jacket, handing it over. Tendou takes it and drapes it over your shoulders, it practically swallows your smaller frame.

“Thanks,” you mumble, basking in the warmth the oversized jacket brings you, your nose burying into the collar as you take in Wakatoshi’s scent. Your eyes widen when you realize what you’re doing, the heat you felt at lunch covering your face again.

“Y/N?” The tall olive-brown haired boy calls out to you and you slowly peak around Tendou, who has a mischievous grin on his face.

“Hey there, Toshi!” You grip the strap of your bag a bit tighter.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, I’d have given you my jacket before practice.” There’s a flicker of concern in his eyes as he walks closer to you.

“I was fine, really.” You smile up at him before Tendou announces his departure leaving just the two of you. It’s not an uncommon situation, you grew up together but for some reason ever since lunch, just the topic of Ushijima leaves you a mess. Ren’s comment from lunch running through your mind repeatedly.

He looks at you differently than everyone else.

“Ren said we should date.” You tell him, laughing as you recall the conversation. The walk to your dorms is rather peaceful, the two of you exchanging highlights of your day, er well more of you talking about everything that happened while Ushijima listens.

“Okay.”

“Hm?”

“Let’s date then.” Ushijima says matter-of-factly, before he leaves you standing in front of your dorm, dazed and confused, as he heads towards his.

** Your eyes are closed, sleep still weighing them down as you sling your bag over your shoulder, opening the door of your room to head out. But you stop abruptly when you feel yourself run into something, or rather someone and looking up confirms it’s Toshi.

“Uh—” You’re at a loss for what to say, this wasn’t something that happened…ever. Sure, you’d both would sometimes hang out in each other’s rooms, but he never just showed up to yours first thing in the morning.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice is his usual even tone which confuses you even more because Ushijima didn’t do anything without a reason, everything had purpose.

“Toshi?” He raises an eyebrow at your question, “don’t take this the wrong way, but uhm, why are you here?”

“Tendou said people in relationships do things like walking to classes and such together. Should I not have come?”

For the first time in 10 years, Ushijima looks unsure and even a bit nervous which is new to you. He’s always put together on the court and at school that it’s almost refreshing to know this was as nerve-wracking for him as it is you.

“I like that you came.” You smile up to him, closing your door before you both begin walking down the hallway. The warmth his hand brings yours causes your heart to thump against your ribs, his larger hand embracing yours. “Tendou tell you about that too?” “No, I figured this out on my own.” He clears his throat, looking away from you but slow enough for you to catch the faint blush under his eyes.

** A month had passed since you and Toshi started dating before you had been able to go home and tell both sets of parents. You felt that a phone call would’ve sufficed, if you were honest, Toshi’s mom scared you a bit, but he persuaded you that in person was better.

The first half of the dinner is awkward, the atmosphere feels heavy around you as you engage in simple small talk about your studies and clubs, luckily for you Toshi had lots to say about volleyball and took over the conversation.

“Anything new in your lives?” Toshi’s mom gave you a look and you could’ve swore that she already knew.

“Actually, Y/N and I are dating.” Toshi’s tone is flat and even, throwing you off on how he just continues eating after dropping such a bomb. It wasn’t lost on you that his family still has traditional views and part of you wonders if you’re good enough to fill the spot at his side. A comforting hand is placed on your thigh, as if he’s read your mind and you smile to yourself.

“That’s wonderful news.” His mother smiles, turning to yours before they start discussing officially announcing the relationship (whatever that meant) and how it was about time the two of you got together. Listening to them going on and on about things made a lot of your worries fade away, it was a relief that they both were so onboard with the relationship.

*                      * 2011 – 17 years old

It’s been a year since you started dating Ushijima and it’s been a lot different that you thought it would be, not that you thought about it that much. And while things didn’t seem to change all that much, they changed completely. You weren’t just two friends walking to classes, but a couple. You weren’t just watching his matches like a childhood friend, but as a supportive partner.

When you had thought of dating, of being in a relationship, there was always the anticipation of getting to know your partner, but with Ushijima, you don’t get that. With Ushijima, it’s just seeing what you’re always known within a different light, but somehow that makes you feel like he’s ‘The One’ because how romantic is it to fall in love with the one who has been by your side for as long as you can remember? Even with the deep level of comfort you two share, your face still heats up when he reaches down to grab your hand, when he leans to kiss you goodnight and even when someone refers to him as your boyfriend.

*                      * “SHIIIIRATORIZAWA!!”

The beatings of drums and cheers of support fill the gymnasium, your voice getting hoarse from chanting as loudly as you can. For as long as you can remember, you attended Toshi’s volleyball games and somewhere during one of the games you found yourself truly loving the sport. Nothing really changed now that you were dating, other than the fact you seemed your swell up with even more pride when he hit spike or made a service ace and you were also seen sporting one of his spare athletic jackets with a simple purple shirt.

There was just something special about seeing the person you love doing something they’re so passionate about that make it impossible to not smile the whole time you’re watching them.

“You two are the cutest couple!”

“Oh, thank you.” Even after a year, you still weren’t used to people commenting on your relationship, mostly because no other relationship was talked about as much as yours.

“Talk about a perfect match!”

Another classmate seems to appear out of nowhere, adding the other comments, “I’m so jealous!”

You try to drown out their conversation, not wanting to hear about their surface deep comments, but you can’t. Standing up you look at the court one more time, Ushijima clearly in his element, a few points away from taking not just the set, but the match. Then, for the first time since you started attending his matches, you left the game early.

** “So, Y/N, when’s the wedding?” Ren jokes, getting a glare from Tensei who wants to get back to the focus of their gathering: studying for their upcoming math exam.

“What?” There’s a lot more panic in your voice that you intended and you can’t help but feel your face burn with embarrassment. You grab your math textbook, trying to hide your face before either of them sees, but of course they do.

“You and Toshi, are you planning to get married out of high school? Or waiting until after college?”

“Clearly Y/N wants to get back to studying. You remember, the whole reason we are here?” Tensei side eyes Ren before shaking his head. The two start to bicker back and forth, arguing about if breaks are really needed during studying or if they just cause unnecessary distractions that derail the whole point.

Your thoughts have you far from their debate and more so on what Ren asked. Marriage, it wasn’t like you didn’t think about it happening…eventually. But lately the whole concept, even the word alone has you on edge.

Back when you first started dating, you two were quick to share the news with your families and while you had a feeling they assumed this would happen eventually, they still seemed thrilled. Part of you could barely contain your happiness that your relationship had been accepted so quickly, knowing from movies and books you’ve read, not all relationships get family support. Another part of you was filled with a sinking feeling, a fear that eventually as your relationship grew and matured, the expectations from your families would increase, and they were doing just that.

Just a few weeks ago, you heard both of your mothers talking about it between themselves, seemingly making plans without any consideration of you or Toshi’s feelings. After that it left you wondering about your future and how your plans would fit into the heavy expectations the Ushijimas seemed to already have. Remembering the almost pitying laugh Toshi’s mother had given when you mentioned going to college and how she was quick to remind you that someone had to be the stay-at-home parent with children and Toshi couldn’t since he had a promising future in volleyball.

** “Happy birthday, Y/N!” Ren, Tensei and Tendou shout at you, crossing the courtyard to get closer to the table you were sitting at. Embarrassment crept across your skin, feeling like everyone’s eyes were suddenly on you, something you hated.

“Thanks.” You give them all a tight ‘please never do that again’ smile which just makes them laugh.

“Y/N.”

The voice causes you to quickly turn and you see Toshi standing there, a slightly obnoxiously large bouquet in his hand and you wish you hadn’t felt so embarrassed over your friends because now you definitely knew people were looking.

It had been a while since you and Toshi had gotten together for more than ten minutes, his schedule had gotten busier, you couldn’t remember when he was ever this busy before. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he remembered your birthday and gotten you something.

“Toshi!” You throw your arms around him, smiling even more when he tells you happy birthday, loud  enough for just you to hear.

Comments about how cute you two were, how great a relationship you had start to fill the courtyard and while you usually get sick of hearing it, it reminded you that you didn’t have much to complain about. Sure, Toshi’s schedule seemed to get busier every day, but he still carved time out for you and that’s what really mattered.

*                      * 2012 – 18 years old

You look up and towards the door when you hear the bell ring, hoping that it’s Toshi. The two of you agreed to meet up at a café before seeing a movie, he was running a bit late because he had a meeting with Coach Washijō. A deep sigh leaves you as you realize that it’s not Toshi and instead you are still alone.

DING!

Toshi: Coach Washijō wants me to meet with some alumni players. (12:31PM) Toshi: I can’t make it today. (12:32PM)

You should’ve seen it coming, honestly. He has always been a force in the volleyball circuit, but with graduation coming up and professional scouters about, he seems to be in even more demand. You are proud of him, proud of all he’s accomplished, but as his partner, you felt like you were just getting the short end of the stick most of the time.

** “I’m all yours today, I promise.” Toshi says, standing at your room door, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You can’t help but smile, you’re still upset about yesterday, but you know he’s trying and that the small amount of free time he actually gets, he spends with you. You step aside and let him in and he takes a seat in your desk chair, even after years of being friends and almost two years of dating, he refuses to just sit on your bed. He really could be a huge dork sometimes.

“Did you have something in mind?” You wrap your blanket back around you, originally planning to spend your free Sunday catching up on shows you missed.

“Anything you want to do, I owe you.”

A mischievous smirk crosses your face as you jump up, rushing into the bathroom. “Face masks!”

He nods, “whatever you want.”

** You look over at your calendar that’s hanging on the wall, today’s date is circled and you feel a little silly for being so upset. Today marks two years with Toshi, but for what felt like the hundredth time this month, you were in your room alone. He had sent flowers and a small gift, of course, he never missed sending something on anniversaries, birthdays or other holidays, but coming second to volleyball was getting old.

The part of you that is petty wants to think Coach Washijō is doing it on purpose, but what did you think would happen when dating one of the top 3 aces in Japan? Still, you just thought this time could be different. Then you were hit with an overwhelming feeling that this would be your life. At least your life if you ended up staying with Toshi. He would go pro, you knew that and with his family’s traditional ways, you’d end up staying at home with children your mothers had envisioned for you, not bothering to ask either of you what you wanted.

Waiting, that’s what their future held for you, just waiting for him to come home. And just like yesterday and today, every day would just feel the same.

Did you want that?

There was nothing wrong with those who wanted that life, but it wasn’t ever what you thought yours would be. You wanted to go to a good university, to join the career field you dreamed of and definitely saw traveling in that future.

What’s worse that the feeling of a bleak future is knowing if you told Toshi, he’d do anything he could to fix it. And what’s worse that that is the feeling that while you love him so much you could feel it deep in your bones, a future without him was more desirable that one with him.

How could a relationship that seemed so perfect to everyone around you, feel so wrong to those in it?

** “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

Finals were just around the corner and Toshi had thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to visit home, not to mention being at home meant less volleyball obligations and more time he could spend with you.

“I don’t think things are going to work out with Toshi.”

The room stilled, though you’re sure if it had been a movie scene, the glass vase in her hands would’ve shattered as it hit the ground.

Yesterday when you two got home, both your parents had been acting strange, so happy that it was like they were floating. It wasn’t until later in the night when you met up with Toshi for a walk that he told you his mother mentioned you two getting engaged, dropping not subtle hints of a post-graduation proposal.

The ground fell from beneath you, all the air in your lungs being sucked out, the only thing saving you was how Toshi told you that he didn’t agree with her plans. That you two should be the ones discussing it, not your parents and that his focus on volleyball blurred out things like proposals and weddings. Even with those words, you still knew how hard it would be for family-oriented Wakatoshi to go against his family; the thought of how different he would be if his dad had raised him crossed your mind.

“Whatever the problem is, I’m sure you can fix it.”

You snort, how cliché for her to blame you. “I just don’t know if our futures line up. We both want such different lives.’

She finally turns to face you, her jaw clenched, “nonsense, you two are perfect together.”

Perfect.

That word has long been on a list of words you hate, one you are tired of hearing, sick of being called that when you know it was far from true. By definition, it means having desirable qualities or characteristic, something that was as good as it could possibly. If you tried hard enough to see your relationship from an outsider’s perspective, maybe after you squint hard enough you could see it. Could understand why perfect was used, how great things looked. You had a boyfriend who would try to move the sun for you if you asked, one who did his best to be there for you and see every chance he got, on the surface level you really had nothing to complain about.

But on the inside, you were two ships passing in opposite directions. Maybe it was true that some relationships are just too good to be true, that some people are better as just friends, that some friendships can’t last when changed to a relationship.

** “Y/N~”

You look over to see Tendou practically skipping towards you, a smile on his face while he wrapped his arms around you from behind, leaning to rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Tendou!”

“What’s wrong?” He lets go of, taking the empty seat beside you. You had been sitting on a bench, hoping some fresh air could clear your head. It was just a few days until graduation and the looming expectations of both families started weighing down more, plus Toshi was even more busy with volleyball since word got out that he had gotten a few offers already, so you didn’t have anyone to really talk to about it.

“Nothing. Just tired.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you know Tendou doesn’t believe you. He had an uncanny ability to pick up on things like that.

“Tell me, Y/N.”

That’s all it took for you to finally break, the mix of the gently words and his soft tone. He listened as you tell him about Toshi’s traditional family (most of which he already knows) and the over the top expectations both your families seem to have.

How a future together seems more like a nightmare than a dream come true but not because you don’t love him, maybe because you love him too much. Love him so much that you don’t want him pushed into some life just or being with you. And by the time you finish up by telling him how it’s been hurting you to hold everything in, not wanting to burden Toshi, you are in tears.

** “Can we talk, Y/N?”

You nod, biting on the inside of your cheek. Graduation had been a week ago and since coming home, your parents (namely mother) had been discussing wedding plans and wondering just when Toshi would pop the questions, so it’s no surprise when they light up when seeing it’s him at the door.

He takes your hand, gently squeezing when he feels you flinch, the notion instantly calming you. He motions for you to sit on a bench in the nearby park that you’ve been walking towards, but when he sighs, you start to worry.

“I spoke to Tendou a few days ago and he helped me understand a few things.” “Toshi, I—”

He holds up a hand, “please let me talk first.”

You nod, noting a small crack in his voice as he squats in front of you, taking your hands.

“My life has always been volleyball, it’s what I’m good at and I know that being a boyfriend isn’t something I’m good at. But even with that, you still carried our relationship even when you stopped being happy.” He keeps his eyes focused on your hands, leaving you to look at the top of his head. “Now It’s time for me to take the burden from you and I’m okay with being the bad guy if it means that you’ll smile like you used to. So, Y/N, will you break up with me?”

You burst into laughter and tear, knowing that he must’ve been given that words from Tendou and practiced them ‘because it didn’t sound like him. “Our parents are going to be disappointed.” He shrugs, “I’ll blame volleyball.”

You wipe the tears from your cheeks, the sleeve of your sweater gets a bit damp. “It hurts because I love you so much.”

He grabs your wrists, tugging you into his chest, the calming scent of his body wash soothes you. “I love you too.”

“Is it selfish to ask if we can still be friends?” You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, fresh tears pricking your eyes. How was it fair that two people who love each other so deeply, just weren’t meant to be? You didn’t have a breakup to compare this one too, but you didn’t think anything else could ever hurt this much.

“I believe someone declared we’d be friends forever. I might have been a bad boyfriend, but I think I’m a good friend.”

Smiling, you look at him, he wipes the tears away with his thumb, his hand cupping your cheek. “I don’t think you were a bad boyfriend, just a busy one.” “You were a perfect girlfriend.” He stands up, pulling you to your feet as well.

“I can still come to your games, right? Having an ex wouldn’t be too weird?” “No. I’ll always need my number one fan.”

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

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[msbeliever05]

Has anyone heard of the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment?

(Yes, this is different then the Tuskegee Airmen, although there is a connection, I’m not going over it right now)

No? You haven't? Well here’s a quick history lesson.

My friend and I just did some research on this, because after watching The Falcon and The Winter Soldier episode two, there is a victim of this experiment (Isaiah Bradley) who has a brief conversation with Sam and Bucky, and I was curious about his character. Apparently this experiment was a real thing, and I never heard of it. I even brought it up to some of my friends and they had never heard of it either, so I was wondering how many other people hadn't heard of it. It’s kind of ridiculous that it took me 16 years and a show about an angry man with a metal arm and a confused guy with a bird costume to open up about the racism in our histories past, and it was only a subtle nod at that. (Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the show and I applaud marvel for bringing it to light)

Here goes. Buckle up and hold on to your seat, folks, because this will spangle your stars -- and not in a good way.

The Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment was a program from 1932-1972 that experimented on African American people in Alabama concerning the Syphilis disease. The government told the patients they were being tested for bad blood, and, in exchange for a free meal and free healthcare, they would consent to the government's experiments. However, they were actually being tested and studied for Syphilis, an STD commonly found in black culture in Alabama. The researchers didn't want to cure these black men, they just wanted to study the disease. Later, penicillin was discovered and became an accepted cure for Syphilis, but these patients were never told about this cure. In fact, they were prevented from getting it just so the study could continue. They were told they were getting another cure, so they were injected with fake medicine. This unethical and illegal experimentation was initially only supposed to last 6 months, but it ended up lasting over 40 years. It started with just men, but later women and children were brought in as well. A lot of people died due to them not getting the cure or medicine they needed. What's even worse about this is that the government completely sponsored this horrendous treatment of black Americans for FORTY YEARS. They outwardly slammed Nazi Germany and other countries for the atrocities that they committed, defending the Nuremberg Code, and upholding the belief that ALL men are created equal. Secretly, however, they allowed scientists to torture and experiment on human beings solely for the color of their skin. Finally, in 1972, a man was concerned about the ethical practice of subjecting other humans to experimentation while lying to them and saying they were curing them. The government was forced to call a halt to the experimentation and gave the victims who were still alive -- 74 out of the 600+ men who had started in '32 -- healthcare money to cure their syphilis disease. It wasn't until 1996 that President Clinton officially apologized for the atrocities committed to the black Americans.

I’m usually not one for political arguments or conversations, but this is an important part of our heritage that I've never heard about. Americans need to know where we come from and how we have changed throughout the years. Americans can't set goals and directions for ourselves if we don't know the scars that have defined America's past. If we don't know our history, then it is ultimately destined to repeat itself. We can't let horrors like this happen again in our country. The government also needs to understand that when they try to push black people into a new thing -- like they are doing with this vaccine -- there is a reason many of them do not trust the new medicine. They have been abused in the past, and they're not willing to be abused again. The government needs to recognize the hurt that it has caused many people and realize that with its power, it had the ability to tear people down, as it so often has done to so many people: black or white, young or old, weak or strong. We call ourselves America, the land of the free. Well, maybe we can make it like that someday.

Sorry for this long post, I’m just really upset about this, really about the fact that I’ve never even heard of it so I had to let out this rant.

So, has anyone heard of the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment?

(Ps, my friend helped me write this as well)

Bibliography:

https://www.history.com/news/the-infamous-40-year-tuskegee-study

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuskegee_Syphilis_Study

https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/history/40-years-human-experimentation-america-tuskegee-study

[falcqns]

Adore You

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: 3 times Chris tries to tell you he loves you, and the 1 time he does.

Warnings: smut, angst, swearing, fluff

A/N: hope you enjoy!

Walk in your rainbow paradise  Strawberry lipstick state of mind

He first realized he was in love with you the first time he hung out with you off set.

The rest of your co stars were going to be filming late except you two, so you invited him over for a movie night, to which he agreed.

You had run around before he arrived making sure your apartment was presentable before he arrived. You made a whole bunch of snack, including your moms hot dip, which was a favourite of everyone who tried it.

When the doorbell rang, you walked up to let him in, and greeted him.

“Hey!” You said, giving him a smile.

“Hey, thanks for having me,” He said, taking off his shoes.

“Well, if you hadn’t come over, I would have had a very boring night involving me, my cat, and Harry Potter,” You joked. 

He took off his coat and hung it up. He looked around at your apartment as he followed you. You didn't have a very big apartment, but it looked very spacious, especially for Los Angeles. 

It was open concept, the kitchen, dining and living room all connected with a hallway leading back to what he guessed was the bedroom and bathroom.

“You've got a pretty nice place here,” He mentioned, as you poured him a drink in the kitchen.

You chuckled. “Well, it’s super cheap, it’s in a nice spot, and I knew the girl who rented it before me, she just moved to Hawaii with her baby daughter.” You finished before taking a sip of your own drink, and leading Chris over to the couch. 

Your faded calico cat, Rella, lifted her head up and meowed at the two of you, before climbing onto Chris.

“What’s her name?” He asked, as he pet her gently, and listened to her purr.

“Her names Rella, she’s my childhood cat. She’s getting older and my mom thought she’s be happier out here with me instead of home in Canada with my 3 loud siblings,” You said, watching as she got comfortable on his lap.

The two of you spent the rest of the night watching Harry Potter, and chatting, before Chris headed out around midnight with a promise of movie night being at his place. 

As he hugged you goodbye, he knew he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

I get so lost inside your eyes Would you believe it?

The first time he tried to confess his feelings, he messed up.

He was too scared to tell you face to face, so he settled on sending you a bouquet of flowers with a note confessing.

Which, he did, but he (stupidly) forgot to sign the card which would tell you it was from him until after it was sent and he couldn't cancel it.

So when you called him ecstatic about having a secret admirer, his heart hurt a little. 

He was going to tell you it was him, but then you almost broke him in two with one sentence.

“I wonder if it’s from the man I’m in love with,” You asked, and his stomach dropped.

Of course you were in love with someone else. You were beautiful, strong, and an amazing actress. It only made sense, but it didn't hurt any less.

You don't have to say you love me You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine

When you announced you had a boyfriend, he tried to tell you again, which obviously didn't work either. 

Instead of just calmly telling you about his feelings, and acknowledging that he couldn't have you, he got angry. 

He wasn't angry at the fact that you were taken, he was angry at who you were dating. “I cannot believe you're dating Noah Centeno of all people,” He said.

You crossed your arms. “What’s wrong with Noah? He’s a nice guy, and I like him.” You reasoned.

He scoffed and looked up from the carrots he was cutting. “You don’t love him.”   

“I can see myself loving him,” 

He dropped the knife, and braced his hands on the counter before lifting his head and looking at you. 

“You should be dating someone you’re in love with, and who loves you back,” He said.

You slammed your glass on the counter top, and stood up.

“JUST BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE HIM NOW, DOESN’T MEAN I NEVER WILL!” You screamed. “WE’VE BEEN DATING A WEEK!”

“I DON’T CARE, Y/N! I’M TELLING YOU HE’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, AND IT’S JUST GOING TO END BADLY!” He screamed right back at you.

“FUCK YOU! YOU SAY THAT ABOUT EVERY GUY I TAKE AN INTEREST IN AS IF IT’S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS! I’M DONE WITH IT, CHRIS!” You screamed, tears streaming down your face as you turned away from him and grabbed your purse. You walked towards the door, and he came after you.

“Y/N, wait-” He started to say before you slammed the door in his face.

He turned away from the door to face Dodger.

“I fucked up bad, I know.” He said, and Dodger barked in agreement.

Honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

Just as he’d suspected, your relationship crashed and sank to the bottom of the ocean quicker than the Titanic, but he didn’t find out until a drama news source got hold of the story, and announced it.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Noah Centeno are over,” The title read. 

He knew he shouldn’t click on it, that he shouldn’t believe it. But, as he scrolled further, he saw a post from you confirming the breakup.

‘I hate to have to make this post, but certain organizations have somehow gotten ahold of the news, and there’s no denying it. Noah and I have decided to end our relationship. I will not go into details about what happened between us in this post, but it’s not hard to figure out what happened if you google it. I have no ill feelings towards Noah, sometimes things just don’t work out. We had a great time together, and I will always be grateful for him.’ The post read.

He scrolled back up and clicked on the article. He lightly skimmed through it, before a sentence caught his eye.

‘Sources are reporting that the relationship ended when Centeno was spotted kissing another woman in a Las Vegas night club, when Y/N was at home in Canada visiting family.’

That mother fucker. 

He dialled your number and tried to call you, but you didn't answer, so he decided to text you instead.

‘Hey, Y/N. I just saw your post about you and Noah and I wanted to saw that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things that I won't mention over text, but I’m mainly sorry for what that asshole did to you. I’m here for you if you  need anything, just let me know,” The message read. Sure, he had thought about telling you how he felt in that message, but he knew it wasn't the right time.

He sent the message, and you responded less than a minute later.

‘Why do you care? You got what you wanted, him out of my life. You were right, so I don’t know why you're even pretending to care.’

That hurt, he thought to himself, before putting his phone down. You were right of course. He was a complete asshole to you, so why was he pretending he cared, when he obviously didn't. He had gotten what he wanted, shouldn't he be happy?

Because you were hurting, that’s why.

Your wonder under summer skies (summer skies) Brown skin and lemon over ice Would you believe it?

He woke up the next morning, and decided that enough was enough, and he needed to tell you.

You hadn’t answered him all week, and he was getting annoyed. He wanted to talk to you, and sort shit out, but it’s kind of hard for him to do that when you refuse to talk to him, so he called Adrianne Palicki.

You were a part of the cast of The Orville, and Adrianne was one of your best friends.

“Hello?” She said as she answered.

“Hey, it’s Chris,” He said.

“Hey, what’s up,” she responded.

“Well, I was wondering if you could convince Y/N to talk to me,” he pleaded.

Adrianne sighed, before continuing. “I don’t know Chris, she’s pretty mad at you. I mean she refuses to even watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. any more, she’s so mad at you,” 

He ran his hands through his hair as he spoke again. “I know. I messed up bad. I just- I’m in love with her, and I let my feelings get the best of me, and I want to make it right. I just need you to get her to talk to me,”    

“Alright, I’ll talk to her. What do you want me to tell her?” Adrianne asked. 

“J-Just tell her to come to my place Saturday at 8, and I’ll explain everything.”

“Kay, I’ll tell her. But Evans, if you hurt her, I think I still have my Mockingbird batons around here somewhere,” She threatened, and Chris chuckled.

“You got it,” He said before hanging up. 

You had no idea how you had managed to let Adrianne talk you into this. I mean, you were still mad at Chris, and didn't see that ending anytime soon, yet here you were. Standing at his doorstep, at 7:55 on Saturday night.

You knocked, and heard Dodger barking before the door opened to reveal Chris.

“Hey,” He said, giving you a smile.

“Why am I here?” You stated, plainly.

He gestured you to come in, and you followed him. You took your shoes off, and followed him into the kitchen before you were attacked by Dodger.

“Hey, buddy! I missed you!” You exclaimed.

“Well, he’s not the only one,” Chris said, before handing you a drink as you stood up.

“Are you going to tell me why I’m here?” You said.

Chris sighed, before getting straight to the point. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted, and for what I said. It was stupid, and I let my personal feelings get in the way of our friendship. I really am sorry,” he said, looking you deeply in the eyes.

Your eyebrows scrunched. 

“You’re personal feelings? What does that mean?”

He cleared his throat before confessing.

“You remember that bouquet of flowers you got from your ‘secret admirer’?”

You nodded. “Yeah...”   

He looked up at you. “That was from me,” He said, looking down at his feet.

He heard the sound of you putting your glass on the counter, and he looked up just in time to see you walk up to him, grab his face, and press your lips to his.

He put his glass down, and wrapped his arms around you, before lifting you up and onto the counter.

A few moments later, he broke the kiss, and looked you in the eyes.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You asked, resting your forehead against his.

“I was scared. It’s a stupid excuse, but that’s it.” He responded, before kissing you again.

You don't have to say you love me I just wanna tell you something Lately you've been on my mind

Less than a minute later your back was pressed against the sheets of his bed, with his lips still on yours.

His lips left yours to trail down your neck, his beard tickling you sensitive skin there.

Chris ran his hand down your sundress clad body, and gripped your left leg, bringing it over his hip.

You moaned at the feeling of his jean covered hard on against your core.

You brought your hands up and around his neck. He pushed his tongue into your mouth as you tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

He disconnected his lips from your skin, and looked you in the eye.

“You want this?” He mumbled out, and you nodded. He sat up on his knees and fumbled with the buttons on the front of your dress. He struggled for a few more moments before he gave up.

“I can’t get it,” He groaned, and you giggled.

You sat up and quickly undid them. Chris watched you for a few moments before he began stripping himself. Your dress was thrown on the floor, followed by his shirt and jeans moments later, before his mouth attacked yours once more.

You moaned out when he moved his mouth from your mouth to your chest. His hands trailed up from your hips, to your back to undo your bra, which he did successfully. 

He threw his head back and moaned at the sight of your uncovered breasts, before pressing kisses to them. 

You ran your fingers through his hair as his mouth moved lower.

He stopped just below your belly button, and his fingers looped into your underwear, before pulling them down.

He made eye contact with you, before lifting your left leg over his right shoulder, and diving into you. His tongue swiped over your clit twice, befarepressing into your entrance.

You cried out, and tugged on his hair.

“C-Chris, please,” You begged.

He removed his mouth from you to smirk in your direction.

“Yes, my love?”    

You groaned, and tugged on his hair again. “Get up here, and fuck me,”

He chuckled, but did as you asked. He sat up and tugged off his own underwear.

He spread your legs again, before gripping his own hard cock, and lining himself up with your entrance.

“Not my fault you taste like fucking heaven, baby,” He quipped. 

You rolled your eyes, and then threw your head back as he began to push in.

He bottomed out, and hovered over you again.

“You ready?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your nose.

“Obviously,” You said, before Chris pulled out slightly, and then snapped his hips against yours.

You cried out, gripping his biceps while he set a quick pace in his hips. 

Honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

“I’ve wanted you like this for months, baby,” Chris growled out, snapping his hips against yours. “Ever since our first movie night, fuck.”

You moaned out. “I’ve wanted you like this since before we met,” 

Chris bottomed out, and ground his hips against yours. 

“Did he make you feel this good? Did he fill you like this?” Chris growled into your ear.

“N-No!” “Yeah, I’m the only one who makes you feel this good, right?” 

You nodded, and moved your hips under his. “I’m close, Chris,” You whined.

“Me too, baby, me too. God, you kill me,” He moaned out. “How’d you manage to make me last barely 5 minutes inside you,”

He dropped his torso against yours, and grasped your face in his hands.

“I want you to look at me when you cum baby,” He moaned, his thrusts becoming erratic.

You nodded, and wrapped your arms around his torso as you were barrelling towards your high, as was he.

He moved his right hand from your face, and snaked it in between your bodies, his thumb coming to rub circles on your clit.

“C’mon, baby, let go all over me,” He moaned in your ear, and you were pushed over the edge. 

You clamped down on. him, and he was pushed over as well.

Moments later, Chris collapsed against you, his head falling to your shoulder.

“I love you, too.” You whispered into his ear. “I realized I never told you.”

Chris chuckled. “We were a little busy, weren’t we?”      

You giggled, before connecting your lips once again.

Oh, honey Just let me adore you Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

[gamergirl929]

Secret Sisters (Emily Sonnett x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Could you do an Emily x reader where R is Tobin's sister but no-one knows (except for Emily) and the team thinks R is cheating on Em with Toby because you know sisters bonding time and you know Chaos and Disaster ensures?

“Em, how are you holding up?” Lindsey asks with a frown and her brows furrow.

“Ummmm, just fine.” She says, confused and Lindsey glances at Mallory, the forward frowning.

“Look, we’ve noticed Y/N has been spending so much time with Tobin lately, we just wanted to check on you.”  

Emily shakes her head, remembering the promise she’d made to you when you got together.

“Well, I’m fine.” She grins, the two again sharing a glance.

“Well, we’re here for you, whatever you need.”  

The two take their leave and Emily takes a deep breath.

She had noticed you’d been spending more and more time with Tobin, but only she and a select few on the team knew why.

You were Tobin’s sister, adopted-sister, the two of you wanting to keep it under wraps, well mostly you because you didn’t want anything given to you because you were Tobin Heath's sister, you knew it was; how younger siblings got lost in the mix and you didn’t want to be JUST Tobin Heath’s little sister.  

Though, it was kept under wraps, that didn’t mean the two of you spent any less time together.

The media had started to talk, noting the way you’d spend more and more time with Tobin, the paparazzi quick to make assumptions about the relationship between the two of you.  

Emily was one of a chosen few that knew you were Tobin’s adopted sister, the two of you meeting when you were younger.  

You were her younger brother’s best friend, the boy always coming home with you from school.  

The more you came over, the closer you got with the entire Heath family, up until the day the secret you’d been hiding for so long was revealed.  

Tobin and her family knew your home life wasn’t the best, but when your parents were arrested for abuse, they were first in line to take you in, eventually adopting you, something you would never be able to repay them for.  

Thus, you became Y/N Heath, though you’d decided to keep your last name, wanting to stay under the radar.  

Being a Heath in the WNT soccer industry came with pretty big shoes to fill, and the last thing you wanted was to be given opportunities just because you were a Heath.  

Only two people on the USWNT knew about the real relationship between you and Tobin, and that was Christen Press and of course Emily Sonnett.  

Christen, because she and Tobin were literally attached at the hip, and Emily, because it wasn’t like you could really hide from your girlfriend that you weren’t just Tobin’s friend, but her family.  

“Hey.”  

Emily jumps, smiling when she realizes you’re standing beside her, a warm smile on your face as you flop down onto the ground beside her.  

“Hey.” She grins, pressing a kiss to your cheek and you beam, your cheeks pink. Your eyes narrow as you look at the blonde, humming.  

“What’s wrong?”  

Emily scoffs.  

“What do you mean?”  

You hum, your eyes narrowing further as you lean closer to her.  

“Stop being a weirdo.” She giggles as you keep leaning towards her until your nose is pressing against her cheek.  

“Something is bothering you, I can tell.”  

Emily rolls her hazel orbs, her own eyes narrowing.  

“Really? How can you tell?”  

You cup her cheek.  

“Your eyes shine less when something is bothering you.”  

Emily’s eyes widen, the woman’s cheeks flushing bright red.  

“It’s just...” Emily sighs, glancing around the field. “We’ll talk about it when we get back, okay?” She says and you nod, swallowing hard, wondering what could be bothering her so much.  

                                                            ***

You sigh, staring down at your phone at another article questioning the relationship between you and Tobin.  

Out of the corner of your eye you see Emily reading the same article, a frown on her face.  

You briefly wondered if that was what was bothering her, but you knew, deep down that it was.  

The media had been relentless lately in their examination of your and Tobin’s relationship, some even questioning if you were cheating on the blonde with the older forward, but it was far from that.  

You’d even noticed some side eyed glances from your teammates, they too questioning the relationship between you and Tobin.

Just in that moment you pick your head up, seeing Kelley’s narrowed eyes on you.

Your head hangs in shame, a frown on your face, that is until Emily leans against you, resting her head on your shoulder.    

You smile softly, your heart aching in your chest.  

Maybe it was time to tell everyone the truth, that you were Tobin Heath’s sister.

                                                            ***

“We need to talk.” You mumble, shuffling nervously back and forth as your eyes dart from Tobin, to Christen and back.  

“What’s wrong kid?” Tobin asks and you sigh, realizing a number of the team’s eyes are on you, the women whispering among themselves.  

Emily walks up, taking your hand and you frown.  

“Can we do this in private?” You ask and Tobin nods, frowning sadly.  

“Of course, whatever you want.”  

The four of you move towards the elevators, remaining completely silent, Emily’s hand in yours.  

You keep your head down, the three women noting the change in your behavior, they all knew that the articles were weighting heavily on you, the whispers among your teammates getting to you most of all.  

Christen ushers you and the others into her and Tobin’s hotel room, the second the door shuts behind her you burst into tears, Tobin and Emily wrapping their arms tightly around you.  

“We have to tell them.”  

Tobin’s eyes widen as she cups your cheeks, ridding your cheeks of tears with the pads of her thumbs.  

“Hey... Sh. Sh. Sh. It’s okay.” Tobin kisses your forehead and you shake your head.  

“Everyone thinks I’m this monster, and I’m cheating on Em, even our teammates look at me funny... I can’t... I just-

Tobin rests her forehead against yours.  

“We love you Y/N, and whatever you want to do, we’ll do.”  

You sniffle, leaning against Emily, the woman whispering sweet assurances in your ear.  

Christen too joins the fray, wrapping her arms around the three of you from behind.  

“We’re here for you Y/N.” She whispers and you nod, turning to Emily who gives you a smile, her hazel orbs full of tears as she leans in to press a kiss to your lips.  

“I’ll be by your side, no matter what. I love you.” She whispers against your lips and you smile.  

“I love you too... And if it’s alright with you guys... I’m ready.”  

Tobin nods, glancing at Christen and Emily, earning nods from the two of them before she turns back to you with a grin.  

“Of course, it is.”  

“We’re behind you Y/N.”  

“No matter what.”  

                                                            ***

Vlatko claps his hands together, gathering the attention of your teammates who all make their way towards the benches, flopping down on top of it, the others sitting on the ground around it.  

“Now I understand, Y/N, Emily and Tobin have something they’d like to say.”  

Everyone’s eyes widen as the three of you move to stand in front of them, your and Emily’s fingers intertwined, your knuckles white considering you’re holding her hand so tightly.  

You take a deep breath, glancing at Tobin, the woman smiling softly.  

“I’m sure you’ve all seen the articles talking about the relationship between Y/N and I...” Tobin takes a deep breath and you swallow hard.  

“And we decided it was time to come clean... About what we were hiding.”  

Everyone leans forwards, hanging on your and Tobin’s every word.  

“Y/N grew up with my little brother, they were best friends and still are...” Tobin slips an arm around you.  

“Life didn’t... I wasn’t given the best parents in the world, and when they were arrested, the Heath’s were the first to step up and want to take me in.”  

Kelley’s brown orbs widen.  

“Wait...”  

You shrug, sighing.  

“Tobin and I are sisters, I just didn’t want anyone knowing because I wanted to make my own path, I didn’t want to be known as Tobin Heath’s adopted little sister...” You shuffle nervously from foot to foot, Emily leaning towards you to press a kiss to your cheek.  

“So, all the time you’ve been spending together...” Lindsey starts, Mallory’s brown orbs wide.  

“Was sister bonding time?” She squeaks, you and Tobin both nodding.  

The entire team stares at the three of you, wide eyed, their mouths opening and closing a few times as they try to find the words they’re searching for.  

“And we thought you were cheating the whole time, we’re so sorry Y/N.” Julie frowns, her head hanging in shame.  

“Yeah, you and everyone else.” Emily grumbles and you smile, giving her a nudge.  

“We’re so sorry Y/N.” Alex frowns.

“We should’ve just asked instead of assuming, we’re a family.” Becky moves to her feet, wrapping her arms around you, the others following suit, besides Kelley, the woman’s brown orbs wide.  

“You alright Worm??” Alex snorts and the defender huffs.  

“So that’s why your mom liked Y/N better than me...” The defender pouts and you bark out a laugh. 

You grunt when she practically leaps on you, wrapping her arms tightly around you.  

“I’m sorry Y/N, I was just worried about Son, and...”  

You give her a tight squeeze, the woman grunting.  

“It’s alright, I understand.”  

Everyone pulls apart, all chattering softly before Ashlyn screeches.  

“WAIT.”  

You all jump, turning to the goalie, her eyes narrowed.  

“How the hell do you hide a sibling these days!?” She asks and you snicker, glancing at Tobin.  

“Very. VERY carefully.”  

“WAIT.” Kelley yells this time, everyone turning to her.  

“YOU KNEW!?” Kelley yells, pointing at her offspring, the woman grinning apologetically.  

“Maybe?”  

“AND IF EMILY KNEW THERE’S NO WAY CHRISTEN DIDN’T KNOW.” Megan points to the forward, the woman shrugging.  

“Maybe.”  

Kelley growls.  

“You let me try to win your mom over when you knew she’d always love Y/N over me!” The defender pouts and you smile, wrapping your arms around her.  

“Well, I love you Kel.” You beam and the defender rolls her eyes, grinning.  

“I love you too.”  

                                                            ***

The news broke later that same day, the two of you making a lengthy post, posting pictures of you and the rest of Tobin’s family together when you were first officially adopted to you most recent photo with the entire Heath crew.  

The two of you thoug,h decided to recreate an old photo, where you were hanging off Tobin’s back, the little girl grinning, widely as you rested your chin on the top of her head, smiling just as wide, but it was the next photo recreation that the fans enjoyed the most, you and Tobin wrestling on the ground, the older woman in a headlock as you grinned.  

Emily giggles, leaning her head against your shoulder.  

“That one’s my favorite.” She nods to the picture and you grin, a huff causing you both to turn around, Tobin’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout.  

“Not mine.”

“You were just mad because I was kicking your ass.”  

Tobin growls, everyone turning to her eyes wide.  

“Is that a challenge?” She asks and you smirk.  

“Uh oh.” Christen mumbles as Tobin literally tackles you, the two of you falling to the turf, fans and opponents alike watching as the two of you roll around, playfully fighting one another.  

“TEN BUCKS ON Y/N!” Kelley yells and Alex snorts.  

“Sorry Y/N, I’m going with Tobe on this one.”  

Emily leans against Christen, shaking her head as she watches her girlfriend play fighting with her older sister, eventually getting her into a choke hold, something Emily is quick to snap a picture of, the blonde grinning.  

“Some things never change.”  

“PAY UP JAN.” Kelley screams and Alex grumbles.  

“I misplaced my wallet.”  

“Bullshi-

Alex pulls the defender into a choke hold, the woman’s cheeks flushing as the two wrestle.  

“Hey.”  

Emily leans in, pressing a kiss to your lips, your smile splitting into a grin as Emily shows you the picture she’d taken.  

“More proof I totally kicked Tobin’s ass.” You smirk, winking.  

You wrap your arms around Emily, pressing another kiss to her lips.  

“I love you Em. Thank you for being there for me...” You whisper, cheeks flushing. “Through everything.”  

Emily grins.  

“I’ll be here for you always.”

“Ew.”  

You turn, glaring at Tobin, the woman sticking her tongue out before she runs away, you chasing after her.  

Emily turns towards Christen, the forward watching as Kelley and Alex still wrestle, Ashlyn egging it on while Ali stands beside her, shaking her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.  

You eventually tackle Tobin down, the two of you again rolling around on the ground, playfully fighting like you had growing up.  

“Again?” Christen shakes her head, leaning towards Emily, the blonde giggling.  

“Somethings never change.”  

[otonymous]

A Bolt From The Blue (MLQC Shaw - NSFW) - Part I: A Matter Of Convenience

Description: An extraordinary man arrives to shake up your ordinary life Warnings: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language & mature themes — reader discretion is advised.  Potential trigger warnings: robberies and mentions of firearms, physical violence, mild depictions of bodily injury, blood and masturbation, profanity Word Count: 1650 words (~8 mins of action, drama and the start of a slow burn 🔥)  Author’s Notes: This multi-chapter fic is dedicated to the lovely @op-peccatori​​​, one of the winners of my Follower Milestone Celebration!  Thank you so much, Nana, for requesting a mafia AU story starring everyone’s favourite lavender-haired man 😆 This is actually my first time writing an AU fic, and the experience thus far has been incredibly eye-opening and lots of fun!

For this piece, I wanted to localize the AU to better fit the world of MLQC, so instead of using a traditional mafia setting, the events take place in the milieu of the triads and “black societies” that are more likely to be found in corresponding parts of the world.  For those who are interested, Wikipedia has an incredibly comprehensive article on triads and organized crime.

This piece turned out to be much longer than I anticipated and is still ongoing as of the time of this post!  That being said, I hope you’ll join me on this wild ride 😂 As always, wishing you all a very happy read 😊

Jump to Chapter(s): Two | Three | Four

“Put the money in the bag and no one gets hurt.”

A black duffel bag is thrust onto the counter before you, panels wide open like a gaping maw.  You look up at the man in the bomber jacket and the only things you can process are:

One: his nostrils are flaring.

Two: why bother trying to be nondescript by dressing in all black if you’re going to leave your face uncovered during a robbery?

“I ain’t playin’ around, little girl.  Put the goddamn money in the bag right now or else I’ll shoot—”

WHACK!

The man’s eyes widen in the split second before his face crumples, teeth yellowed and uneven protruding in an ugly grimace.  His hand flies to his head, trying to stem the blood already streaking down his face when he collapses onto the counter, taking out a display of collectible miniature keychains next to the register as he does.  They scatter, some rolling across the floor before being stopped by a pair of purple Chuck Taylors tapping out an impatient rhythm on the linoleum.

You look up from those sneakers in a daze, eyes following the silhouette of a pair of jeans so worn in places you doubted the rips and tears were purely for aesthetic purposes.  And if you’d had to guess, you’d say that purple was your saviour’s favourite colour, given the lavender hair that fell over his eyes the moment he pulled back the hood of his sweatshirt, also in a shade of violet.  His other hand — clad in a fingerless leather glove — gripped the skateboard that had just connected with the head of the would-be robber, still groaning before you.

Pop!

You startle at the sound, heart slowing only when you see the pink bubble deflating between the young man’s lips before the gum is pulled back by the tip of his tongue.  And from where you stood — glued to the spot behind the counter — you swear you can detect the hint of cinnamon.  

He crouches, picking up the gun that had slid out of the thief’s hand when he was unceremoniously hit from behind, and when he chuckles — the sound dangerous and cocksure — it ignites something deep within you.

“Tsk, tsk.  Can’t very well go around robbing people with toys guns, now can you?  Especially not on my turf.  Piece of advice: don’t mess with Boss Li’s territory or else I’ll be doing more than just breaking your head the next time around.  Don’t let me catch you here again.”  

Letting out a pathetic whimper, the robber snatches the empty bag from the counter, running for the doors in such haste he almost trips over his own feet.  The electronic refrains of the door chime still ring in your ears when you realize the man has already made his way to the beverage dispenser, one long finger pressing the Pepsi button before switching to Coke, both drinks mixing in the same paper cup.

Smoothly stepping over the mess on the floor, he places the drink on the counter right next to a smear of blood.  Mind still reeling, your customer service instincts take over.

“H-hello.  Just this?”  

He nods, popping a purple straw through the plastic lid before fixing you with his amber eyes as he pays, a hint of a smirk on his face.  And that is when it hits you that he is actually…actually…

…incredibly gorgeous.

An intense wave of heat washes over your face and you can’t help but look down.  By the time you’ve worked up the courage to lift your head again, he is already at the door, merging with the dark night beyond.  He throws up one hand in goodbye, not even bothering to look back when he says, “Relax.  That guy won’t be bothering you again.”

You hear his skateboard hit the pavement, listen to it rolling away.  Only when the sound completely fades do you remember to breathe.

There was a certain tranquility in working late-night shifts at the 24-hour convenience store — aisles empty save for the occasional customer breaking the monotony: high-strung lovers grabbing last-minute condoms and overworked salarymen buying the beer and discounted meals they subsisted on.

And though your coworkers complained bitterly about the graveyard shift, they were more than happy to pass them on to you, making up every excuse as to why they were unable to show up during those times.  It was unnecessary, really.  You didn’t mind it, even preferred the solitary calm it afforded.

Until now.

Your peace has been shattered, replaced by something that made your hands ball into nervous fists — fingers gripping at the hem of your polyester uniform and wondering for the first time ever whether blue stripes made you look ridiculous.

Because for the first time in a very long while, there was something, someone, to look forward to.

Night after night, it’s the same.  Repeated glances at the clock above the magazine rack, your breath growing shallow to see it approach 1:30.  Heart leaping into your throat to hear the automatic doors slide open followed by the scuff of purple sneakers, tracing a path through the store.

Since the night of that foiled robbery attempt a month ago, he has visited like clockwork and you still haven’t figured out how to remain calm.  So you find contentment from behind the safety of the counter, watching the man with lavender hair — soft, even when lit beneath a harsh fluorescent glare as he stands at the drink dispenser, always filling a cup with Pepsi first, then Coke.

Only ever buying the same thing every time.

This strange ritual lasts all of ten minutes, fifteen at most.  And it takes just as long after he leaves for the hairs of your body to cease standing on end, as if electrified by the intensity of his eyes on yours.  

That gaze of molten gold stays with you even when you return home in the early morning hours, pulling blackout curtains across your window before falling into bed to pretend your hands were his: tracing the outline of your lips, caressing the swell of your breasts, dipping between your legs.

And when your breath falters in a quick succession of shudders, you wonder at your own sanity.  Because in spite of your suspicions about the guy with the purple hair, the warning signs that pointed to his obvious involvement with the triads that extorted money from local businesses as ‘protection fees,’ you still couldn’t help but think about the man who visited you every night without fail.

“You’re hurt—”

“I-I’m fine.  Just…just ring this up, will ya?  I’m…in a rush…”

One arm crossed over his abdomen, he places the cup onto the counter as if it took all the concentration in the world — his efforts squandered anyways when his hand spasms at the last minute to send dark liquid sloshing over the lip.  He hadn’t even bothered to put a lid on.

“…Emergency responders have just arrived on scene and are dealing with scores of injuries.  Eyewitnesses describe what appears to have been a violent clash between rival gangs in a longstanding feud over contested territory.  The police are seeking help from the public in locating several key suspects believed to have fled the scene.  Please do not approach them under any circumstances as they are considered armed and dangerous…”

The news anchor’s face on the wall-mounted television is replaced by another: that of a youthful man with lavender hair and multiple piercings on his ears — challenge exuding from amber eyes.  You scramble for the remote on the shelf behind you, mashing the power button until the screen goes black.  And in the eerie silence that descends upon the store, all you can focus on is the laboured breathing of the man slouched before you.

Skin pale, beads of sweat dot a face drained of colour save for the crimson protrusion above his left eye — soon set to transform, ironically, into his favourite shade of purple.  He tries to suppress a cough but it is too late: you’ve already caught sight of the blood spreading out from beneath the palm pressed to his stomach.

“It’s on me tonight.”

The words leave your lips without second thought as you make for the storefront, flipping the light switch even as you reach to turn the lock on the automatic doors.

“No, don’t…don’t get yourself involved…”

Ignoring his protests, you gingerly place his arm over your shoulder, doing your best to support his weight as you make an awkward attempt to hobble together towards the back of the store.

Suddenly, the darkened interior is lit by flashes of red and blue and you are pulled in the direction of the nearest pillar, a strong arm flexed as it tenses around your waist, holding you to him in an intimate embrace.

He is close…so close that your senses are flooded with him: the heartbeat thunderous in your ear, leather and sweat tickling your nostrils; the scent of blood thick enough you can almost taste it on your tongue.  The hand on your hip — grip firm in a way it almost seemed possessive, and you are ashamed to find that you can become aroused even in a situation like this.

When you finally gather the courage to look up at his face — seeking a sign in the tension dissolving from the firm set of his jaw that the police cruiser had passed — you are shocked to see his pale lips stretched into a smirk instead.

“You know...I’ve been coming here every day…for weeks now…and this is the most you’ve ever said to me.”

He is still smiling when he passes out.

Thanks so much for reading!  Hope you all enjoyed it and please stay tuned for part 2!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

(Updated): Jump to Chapter(s): Two | Three | Four

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 1 rewatch commentary

The first scene was so beautiful. I loved that we didn't start directly with the fight sequence. It feels way closer to the quiet beginning of CATWS and I love it so much.

The title is also SO NEAT, music's on point too but hey it’s Henry Jackman the one thing I’m sure it’s going to be great overall is the score.

The choreography is AMAZING, really well shot. Sam shielding himself with only one wing was MA-JES-TIC.

“WHAT'S UP” EXACTLY SAM EXACTLY

I did feel so uncomfortable in regards to the military aspect of it. Not that I was expecting anything else, but both here and in Captain Marvel the military we're good guys < 3 propaganda is so blatant and ugh:/ At least there wasn’t a literal recruitment spot like with CM. 

The yellow filter in the Tunisia scene BYE please stop with the yellow filters 2k21

"I've been working with the Air Force for six months now" So, did Sam even catch a break at all after Endgame? Or did he just throw himself to work like SOMEONE did after being iced for 70 years. Hmmm? Sam????

"Essentially, these people, they want a world that's unified without borders" OH NO! HOW AWFUL, how evil of these bad guys smh

Joaquin: SO about Steve

Sam: :)))))) nope

"Moon stuff" SAAAM

#1 cry with Sam's speech, full on chills.. Fuck. Me. His voice about to break before saying thank you bYE.

Shady politician: "It was the right decision" (FUCKKKKK YOUUU)

Rhodey: *press any key to doubt *

I need someone to analyze the different curation of the two exhibits pretty please

NOT THE PHOTO POST-AZZANO JFC. That photo is my weakness, Bucky sweetie (also I find hilarious that usually when there are articles about Stucky and/or #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend they aaaalways use that photo LMAO)

In case someone wants to read the transcription of the texts about Bucky: "In 1944, while on a mission to thwart a Hydra weapon transport in the Alps, Barnes was thrown from a train and believed to have been killed in action. It wasn't until 2014, over seventy years later, that it was revealed that Barnes was alive, having been found by Hydra operatives. Captain America himself (i can't read) the effort to bring Barnes in only to later aid in a escape from custody having been convinced of his innocence. Steve's loyalty to his old friend, coupled with his refusal to sign the Sokovia Accords, led to the dissolution of the Avengers and drove the Captain into hiding with other like-minded Avengers including Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Sam Wilson. The current whereabouts of Barnes remains unknown, habing been labeled a fugitive following his escape from custody."

"current wherabout unknown" but not the government, interesting. Also, pretty good summary of CACW from the public's perspective, although one of the things I always wanted to see explored was the public's reaction of the fallout of them going into hiding after Civil War (which I'm hoping we'll get to see a little bit of in Black Widow).

Interesting point about the 70 years without having Captain America. Clearly the sacrifice play wasn't enough this time to fuel the nationalism so they went with a squeaky clean John Walker instead.

Sam saying the shield belongs to Steve I'm going to cry now excuse me. Sam. Sam sweetie.

The No. 1 Captain America comic in the display ugH fuck yes

See this is how you do a cameo that has actual meaning. Thank god for Malcolm Spellman being a competent writer. That scene was so well written.

HAVE YOU PRAISED ANTHONY MACKIE'S PERFORMANCE TODAY?? Holy shit that last shot fucked me up.

I'm loving the use of the wide shots, especially in the flashback. The camera movements are in synch with The Soldier's state of mind and mission focus, so good.

EVERYONE STAND UP FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM aka The Winter Soldier theme composed by Henry Jackman.

Without a doubt the most brutal TWS fight scene there has been, People involved in Punisher and John Wick are involved in this and it SHOWS. 

For the record, still stands that the only time we've seen him chocking someone with his right hand instead of the metal arm remains the Maria Stark assasination. I know it's probably because of blocking and the way the shot was composed but the implications are still bone chilling. God.

Uhhmmmm I'm very ambivalent about the "Hail Hydra". On one hand, it was 100% fanservice and the internet is probably going to go insane over it, and the dead way Sebastian Stan delivered the line. Good shit. Buuut what I love about CATWS is the way Bucky never, ever ever, mouths Hydra rethoric, and even when Pierce tries to gaslight him with it, it's just an empty effort. The Winter Soldier isn't doing anything because of ideological loyalty to Hydra, even if it's product of brainwashing, it's just sheer dehumanization. They don’t need him to say the words because he’s just An Asset. There are people who have put it more eloquently but yeah, I rather go with the fanon interpretation of that aspect.

The music growing louder with the shot of the keys. GOD.

I'm fine this is fine.

#2 cry with the therapy scene of fucking course.

The government monitoring Bucky is noooot going to end well lmao.

"We need to know that you're not gonna * slowmo stabbing motions *

Bucky: * nodding along slowly * 

I laughed out loud.

"It's passive agressive" I love him.

The way this scene just sucker punched me in the face, made me weep and then had me cracking up. Amazing.

Therapist: You can't do anything illegal

Bucky: yup yup check checkity check. What IS considered illegal tho?

*aggresive tablet finger pressing *

"Then why isn't it rule number one?" Bucky your Steve is showing.

I love the close up shot. I'll keep saying it. It's so good.

"I'm James Bucky Barnes" yeah you are🥺

That smile is nightmare fuel LMFAO I love it.

Uhm the way I'm kinning Bucky it's not funny anymore damn

That whole “are you lashing out at me” rambling is really reminiscent of the bar scene in CATFA and how he lashed out at Steve after Peggy left. Uhm yeah fuck.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "Peace"

"That is UTTER BULLSHIT" "You're a terrible shrink"

yeah ugly crying to ugly laughing speedrun for me

"You're free" "To do what?" jesus. That entire scene. #3 and #4 and #5 cries for moi.

Ugh that Brooklyn shot. Someone needs to do a gifset compairing it to the one in CATFA asap.

"It's like Monique but it's got a "U" in there for uniqueness" "That's absurd" LMAO

"You can't keep fighting with your neighbors" uHM * redacted redacted i'm shifting into 1940s mode abort abort *

"Nobody passed 90" "So young. Such a shame" FGADHGA

🥺🥺 yes flex those flirting skills good for you

"It's a dance to this things. You can't… you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943. Feels like." #6 cry I completely broke down into tears with that.

This Yori storyline is going to punch me in the face with a metal fist. Great!

The TWS theme when he looks at Yori fuuuuuck.

GREAT LET'S GO TO LOUISIANA THAT WAS GETTING HEAVY.

Those shots of Sam in the car. Immaculate. Showstoping. Yes.

Marvel, what if instead of promoting the military industrial complex you put a lot of publicity about cars?

"Uncle Sam!" LMAO subtle.

Everyone trying to have the wings lmao same.

I've only had Sarah for a day but etc. Brooklyn 99 meme

Good mirroring about Steve and Sam family's legacy. Good shit. Goooood shit.

Sam is trying so hard ouch my heart. I can't imagine how painful the scene with them reuniting must have been. He 100% still feels a lot of guilt about being gone for those 5 years (and even longer before that).

"Maybe it is time for us to move on" uuuuuuuuuuh

"To the rescue" "Always" 🥺🥺 i love them so much already

That shot outside the restaurant is so beautiful. Can't wait to see the night scenes in Madripoor tbh.

"I tried the whole online dating thing. It's pretty crazy". Uhm well that is something that Bucky Barnes has now said. In canon. Damn.

"It's a lot" "You sound like my dad" LMAO

Every Bucky fanfic trope speedrun with this scene

"Wow you really can drink" OH you have no idea

Just realized we don't even know her name, well.

"You have any siblings?" "I have a sister" THE WAY I SCREECHED. We're definitely getting Becca

Well that escalated quickly. The important thing is to try?

I can't deal with this BUCKY SWEETIE #8 cry right there fuck

The wardrobe department is KILLING IT, there's such a difference between the outfits of the shows vs how ugly and generic it usually is.

"ThEre is NO such thiNg as on time. You're either EARLY or LATE . picK One" lmao the way he delivered that line

At first I thought the flag smashers had thrown two cars out of a window LMAO

"I don't know how jurisdiction works here, but I'mma have to place you under arrest" uhm yikes. The way they changed Joaquín Torres backstory to just random army nice guy #1 is not sitting well with me, what can I say.

Sam's wings motions I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR

Fuuuuck this guy.

"Funny how thing's always thighten around us" "Look, I'm on your side. After all, he's a hero". This script is C R I S P as hell, great fucking job.

"I don't care, I'm not gonna quit" "What are you trying to prove? And who you trying to prove it to" SHIT HSIT SHIT!!! UGH amazing. Look it's not necessary to say the show's questions out loud but how they flow between the conversations is still very satisfactory without feeling in your face about it. Inner conflicts have been set up fucking perfectly everyone * claps *

Ugh here we fucking go.  I knew this was how the episode was going to end but my stomach still dropped like a rollercoster. God.

The score is on point. Damn. Damn.

God, Sam.🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The captain america franchise's visuals in the credits are always so amazing.

Also, does anybody know why Mackie isn't first in the billing?  Uhm what's that about?

ANYWAY CONCLUSION THAT EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HOLY SHIT. I love them so much. The balance between the personal conflicts and the political aspect (although the military aspect is still very much yikes) was on point and it was overall a joy to watch.

[odetogyus]

ropes

↳pairing/s: boyfriend!seungcheol x fem!reader (w/ ceo!jaebeom on the side)

↳genre: angst

↳warnings: slight suggestive content, profanity, mentions of infidelity, mentions of death

↳song: apologize by timbaland

✎author's note: not my best work but this oneshot has been sitting in my notes for the longest time, and after hours of contemplating on whether or not I should post my works here.. well, I finally gave in. hope you find this, and I hope it makes you feel something.

—

It's been almost a year.

It's been almost a year since the last time she woke up next to him.

It's been almost a year since the last time he came home to her.

It's been almost a year.

Since the last time they kept their promise to each other.

“Seungcheol, don’t you ever break my heart. Don’t you dare break me.”

"The day I hurt you, is the day I die with the regret of breaking your heart, Y/N."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

But, Choi Seungcheol most definitely did not die with the regret of breaking her heart.

Instead, he watched her suffer from a good distance until she nearly lost everything– breaking from the inside out, with the regret of loving him.

—

The media and pretty much the entire country loved them as a couple, and after "careful" consideration, the two agreed that it would be best for the both of them to remain in the relationship– but just for show. And since Seungcheol believed that he had the upper-hand in the relationship, he paid little to no attention to his lover's feelings or opinions– leaving her with nothing but the name tag “Choi Seungcheol's Girlfriend”, highlighted in bold colours attached invisibly on her sleeve.

Their shared apartment was nothing but hollow bones and haunted memories.

Y/N L/N, who ended up keeping their once shared apartment after weeks of thinking about her boyfriend’s offer for her to stay, was tightly bound to shackles– the shackles that were everything Choi Seungcheol.

Being an editor for a men’s magazine had its perks, but Y/N never truly delved into the hole of the unfaithful. Well.. not yet, at least.

Meanwhile, Choi Seungcheol– full-time idol, rapper, and producer, lounged at his new place–an apartment unit right next to the one he once shared with his girlfriend. If you could even call her that.

Nothing seemed to bother the superstar other than the fact that he had to make tough choices every night when it came to who he was going to sleep with, and how long he would keep her around.

But, everything changes.

And they weren’t ready for that.

—

The photographers swarmed around the newly promoted editor-in-chief of the famous print, Men's Health Korea.

A tight body-con dress in fiery red hugged her body in all the right places. With her hair down and styled in loose waves, a sexy neutral lip, red bottoms, and a 6-figure designer handbag, no one would ever think that the glamorous and beloved Y/N L/N was a prisoner in her own relationship.

Except for one person.

Men's Health Korea's boss, and the youngest CEO in the editorial industry–the conglomerate son, Lim Jaebeom.

Standing next to each other at the podium set up right outside their headquarters, CEO Lim addressed Ms. Y/N L/N's promotion with so much passion and admiration.

“There is no one more deserving..” the CEO bit his lip and paused, staring lovingly at the beautiful woman beside him, racking his brain for words to say about his new editor-in-chief. “Than our lovely Ms. Y/N L/N. Congratulations! I cannot wait to work with the best of the best. Please give her love and wish her the best of luck. Thank you, everyone!"

And with that, the woman of the hour graced everyone with her presence by saying a few words of gratitude to the attendees of the surprise, and very last minute press-con.

“Wow.. I can’t really thank everyone enough for coming. I know that this was organized at the very last minute, but I would like to thank you all for coming. To my staff, my team, we did it. To every single employee working for Men's Health Korea, we did well. And to my boss, my CEO– our CEO, Mr. Lim, thank you for trusting me. I am looking forward to working right beside you from now on. Again, thank you all for coming! Please wish me luck, thank you so much."

Reporters and photographers from various media outlets desperately tried to get the CEO and the EIC's attention, and as expected from the ever charismatic and generous man that he was, Lim Jaebeom happily obliged to answer a few questions.

And.. maybe, he shouldn’t have.

But what was there to stop him?

He had nothing to lose.

But another man sure had.

—

Watching the news was never important to him, but it was now– after seeing another man stare at his girlfriend the way he used to.

Quickly grabbing the remote control next to him to put the volume all the way up, Seungcheol froze in place while his playmate from the night before straddled his lap, leaving dirty bites on his neck for breakfast.

Listening carefully, the celebrity’s eyes and ears never left the screen– his mind going through a million things by the minute.

Reporter: Mr. Lim, could you tell us a bit about the turning point for you in regards to Ms. L/N's promotion? And.. do you have a girlfriend at the moment, Sir? The people would like to know.

CEO Lim: Well, Y/N– I'm sorry, Ms. L/N– has been working for Men's Health Korea for 5 years now, and I have to admit, that I have never seen or met someone with the same drive as her when it comes to writing articles. She's truly an asset to the company, and to me.

Reporter: Mr. Lim, you have yet to answer the last question.. in regards to your dating life. Also, you referred to Ms. L/N as your asset. What exactly do you mean by that? And, a question for Ms. L/N, the press would like to know about your current relationship status. Your long-time boyfriend, Choi Seungcheol, was not present at today’s press-con, nor have we seen the two of you around together. Have you two called it quits?

At that very moment, Choi Seungcheol found himself in complete distress. Not only was his girlfriend being undressed and devoured by another man’s gaze, but their real relationship status was also at risk.

CEO Lim: Ah, yes. You're a quick one, aren’t you? Ms. L/N is an asset to me because let’s be honest here, shall we? If you’re ever in the same position as I am.. you know– blessed to know and work with someone as hardworking, bright, genuine, supportive, beautiful, and kind– would you not think of that person as an asset? Think about it.

Members of the press whispered amongst themselves and agreed with the CEO's positive remarks about his chief editor.

But the man in apartment unit 17 was not having it. He wasn’t ready to face the truth, and he wasn’t ready to lose her.

He just wasn’t ready for anything at all.

Reporter: Thank you, Mr. Lim. Ms. L/N? Would you like to answer the question?

Praying hard that his girlfriend would not reveal the truth about their status, SEVENTEEN's leader, Choi Seungcheol, felt his eyes prickle with tears as his old lover rose to the podium once more to finally answer the questions asked by the press.

“Please.. don’t,” Seungcheol muttered under his breath, not giving a damn about the woman from the night before that had already left his apartment in annoyance.

Smiling sweetly, Y/N held onto the microphone carefully, as if preparing herself for the worst. Her gaze was strong, but her tears were on its way down her cheeks.

That was the final straw, the last teardrop.

The end of the rope.

Editor L/N: Again, thank you all for coming. I think.. that this needs to be said, sooner than later. But, Choi Seungcheol and I are no longer together. I am now.. single, and I hope that answers your question.

Seungcheol's heart broke after hearing the painful words his girlfriend– now ex, just said.

Editor L/N: I will not discuss private matters with everyone, because my relationship with him remains between us only. But, I will say this. We all hold onto the ropes of life, and sometimes, we might just have to let go of some, especially if they’re hurting us. But no matter what, we should always choose the better climb for ourselves, and our future. To my former partner, thank you.. for everything. I wish you all the best, I truly mean that. Please continue to give Seungcheol and the rest of SEVENTEEN your love and support! Thank you to everyone that came today!

To say that he crumbled from the inside out was an understatement. He felt defeated– and boy, he really was, and it stung so much that the pain he felt was unbearable.

Everyone present at the press-con had their lips sealed, but had their eyes glued onto the face of the woman who no longer wanted to hold onto the ropes that bound her to a miserable life as Choi Seungcheol’s girlfriend.

It was a bittersweet moment for Y/N L/N– breaking away from the shackles that were once loving arms, and moving forward freely without any restraints.

No one dared to say a thing, and with every bit of confidence in his body, the conglomerate son stood from his seat, and spoke.

CEO Lim: Now that I think about it.. I believe I have one unanswered question.

Reporter: Apologies, Mr. Lim.. but, please.

CEO Lim: So, about me dating..

All eyes were on the CEO now, but Seungcheol only had eyes for her– watching his ex-lover’s gaze go up from the floor to her boss’ face.

It was the day he would dread forever, but he never prepared himself for that.

“Please don’t.. don’t love her, she’s mine,” he pleaded, but he could only beg a man he never really knew, from where he sat. In his living room, far from where she was– helpless, and wrecked to the core.

CEO Lim: I’m not dating anyone.. at the moment. But if you really want to know, I’ll tell you this much. The woman I am in love with had just been promoted as Chief Editor. She’s the one I would want to date, the one I want to give the world to. And, she’s sitting right there. I’ll let you guys put two and two together, but have a good day everyone, thanks for coming.

It was at that very moment, that Choi Seungcheol remembered the promise he had made a while ago. And seeing the hope in her eyes as she stared back at Lim Jaebeom, made him realize that it was just too late to undo everything. There was nothing he could do to stitch their love together, because the love they once had was dead and gone.

The day I hurt you, is the day I die with the regret of breaking your heart.

And so he relived the day where they promised each other the world– keeping his end of the rope that was long broken because of his mistakes.

Choi Seungcheol clutched his chest and cried himself to death– crying over a forgotten promise, and dying slowly with the regret of breaking her heart.

[quietmyfearswith]

perfect fit {ransom drysdale x fem!reader}

perfect fit {ransom drysdale x fem!reader} 

status — completed 

warnings — cursing, unprotected penetrative sex (pls be safe when havinf sex), mirror sex, semi-public sex, degradation (slight), oral sex (female receiving), mentions of blood and being poked (briefly and not detailed)

word count — 3,370 words

a/n — lmao i have no shame i got inspired to write this because of an something i listened to which had a similar premise. i had a sequel in mind but idk if im gonna write that since i have a lot of fics planned out. feedback is appreciated and hope u guys have a lovely day !! :> 

masterlist

It was something no one expected Ransom to do; but he did it anyway.

He was just lounging in his home one day and he took one of the many notebooks he had lying around and suddenly found himself sketching different clothing articles. By the time he was able to tear his focus and hands away from the notebook, it was already 11:45 at night, “Huh, so in the past five hours I was able to design 11 clothes,” he quietly thought to himself as he closed the notebook that contained his ideas and headed to bed.

The following day consisted mostly of doing two things; more designing and making calls. He was looking for possible suppliers who could give him the materials he needed in order to bring his designs to life. He also ordered his assistant to look for tailors who were willing to sew and stitch them to life, as he did not have any intentions on making those himself. Searching for a place to lease to station where the clothes would be made and sold was also something he did.

All of that happened almost 19 months ago; Ransom just suddenly had the idea of creating his own clothing line and he was successful in that endeavor. His brand was known for its eloquent and classy designs, while still being comfortable and affordable. It was also a bonus that the materials they used were cruelty-free and vegan; though this wasn’t really his idea, something his assistant had suggested and something he mindlessly agreed with as he was burying himself in designing a dress.

When his family found out about his current endeavor, there were various reactions in response. Joni seemed to be legitimately excited to see if Ransom’s design would match her taste and even told him how she was willing to post about his line on her Instagram. Meg and Walt finally had something in common as they both teased him and questioned his sexuality since he suddenly became interested in fashion; even his own father silently had the same thoughts and concerns. His mother, however, was somewhat proud of her son following in her footsteps and making a name for himself. While Harlan was surprised on how he was persistent in pursuing fashion, for he always thought that his first grandson would be his successor in terms of writing and in handling the publishing company.

Ransom, having had enough of their judgmental comments and half-assed support, snapped at them once he broke the news as they were enjoying dessert, “Alright, all of you, eat shit! No offense, Mom, but you had a loan from Granddad and without his money you’d be nowhere! Joni, cut the shit! We all know you rely on those brand deals you have and of course, on our family’s money. And Walt? At least I’m gonna make something of my own! Unlike you who just relies heavily on the books Granddad gives you to publish. And what the fuck does fashion have to do with one’s sexuality? If clothes make people gay then why are you wearing that sorry excuse of an outfit? Scared people might find your dick too small?” 

And with that, he left the house as a sea of screams and commotion followed him, but he chose to ignore it of course.

In the span of those 19 months, his clothing line took off. Critics spoke highly of it, consumers couldn't get enough of his designs, and he was being constantly praised for his creativity. So it made Ransom feel as if he was on top of the world.

After his designs being featured on various fashion shows and being worn by numerous celebrities, the pressure to put out equally great designs was taking a toll on Ransom. Hence why he often spends time on the main store and headquarters he had in Boston. The place was fairly spacious — it had an office for where he could have meetings or design some of his clothes, a spacious and luxurious space for the customers to try on the clothes, rows of sewing machine next to an array of cloth for the workers whom he fairly compensated for their hard work, and even a small circular platform placed in front of mirrors for alterations. 

Ransom advised his staff to go home early to enjoy the start of the weekend and he would be the one to close the store and balance what they had already sold and what was left. As he was busy in the counter checking the log and counting the money, he heard the chimes of the bell that hung above the door make a sound, directing his attention to where a lovely woman stepped into the store and it felt as if all the oxygen in his body left his body with how breathtaking the woman was.

“We’re about to close in a few minutes,” was all he managed to let out as the woman stood on the opposite side of the counter; she just smiled as she placed the gown wrapped in plastic down on the counter, “Oh? I’m so sorry but I was just wondering if I can have this gown altered? I bought it hastily last week and only got to try it on two days ago since I was incredibly busy with work and realized how loose it was on me.”

He looked down on the gown as he spoke, “Yeah well we close earlier on Fridays so,” prolonging the word so, he noticed how she moved as if she was about to exit the establishment, but he wondered, “What is the work you do that kept you busy?”

The question surprised both of them; Ransom didn’t know as to why he was curious about it, but it probably had to do with how he just wanted an excuse to talk to her and listen to her soothing voice. While Y/N didn’t realize that those were one of the requirements in order to have a dress altered, she told him anyway what kept her busy.

Nodding his head, he made an impulsive decision, “My assistants just left, but I can take care of it. It shouldn’t be a big problem” Her eyes lit up excitedly and she smiled widely and thanked him for being able to accommodate her. “Just go to one of the dressing rooms and change to the gown, and head to where the platform is — just right across, okay?” She nodded and followed to where his hands pointed to where he’d be waiting for her.

As she scurried off to the change, he found himself questioning himself as he switched off the open sign, grabbed a notebook, pen, and measuring tape, and waited for her to come out. Why the hell am I making such an effort for her? And when she did step out of the dressing room and made her way to step on the circular elevated platform, he remembered just why he was going out of his way to serve her; because she looked fucking gorgeous, especially seeing her wear a gown he designed.

Standing on the platform, she shyly looked at him to which he found adorable, “Why don’t you spin around slowly for me?” She nodded and did so, “What seems to be the problem with the gown?”

With her back facing him, she craned her neck and replied, “I found the length to be too long, I’m afraid I might trip on it,” as she faced him he noticed how he was standing dangerously close, and his facial features were dead serious, “So you just want to trim it a bit?”

She nodded, “Would it be possible to create a slit?” And just as she made that suggestion, she bunched up a bit of the gown and showed him how she wanted the slit to look like; but all it did to Ransom was make him drool with how luscious and soft her legs looked like. “Okay, yeah that’s something we can do.” 

Grabbing a small container full of sewing pins he took hold of the bunched up fabric she held in her hand and told her he got it. “You know when I designed these gowns, you were exactly the target buyers I had in mind,” she tilted her to the side, confused with what he meant so he further explained, “Gorgeous, elegant, and absolutely stunning; especially once they wear my clothes.”

Her cheeks suddenly became a dark shade of red as she tried to shrug off his compliment, “Well I don’t really wear these kinds of clothes, but when a wedding comes, you have to.” As he was placing the pins on the fabrics, he looked up from where he was sitting on the platform, him being eye level with her thigh was doing nothing to prevent him from nursing a hard on, “A wedding you say?” 

Snatching a glance from where her hands rested on her hips to get out of his way, he took note of the lack of ring and voiced out his observation, “I’m not seeing any ring on both your hands, so I’m gonna assume that you’re not the bride?” She laughed softly and shook her head, “No, I'm not the bride-to-be, my best friend is.”

“Good to know,” Ransom said softly and she didn’t hear it well and was about to question what he just said as she felt the sewing pins poke her skin. “Ow, fuck!” She yelped, which made the designer realize that instead of piercing through the dress, he accidently lightly grazed her leg. “Fuck, I’m sorry!” He apologized as he pulled the pin and wiped her upper thigh that started to bleed a little. 

Feeling his warm hand envelope her hand and the thumb swiping away the crimson liquid, made her feel tingly as she looked down on him. Inching his face closer to her thigh, he looked up at her as his lips touched the area that he unintentionally hurt her in, “I’m so sorry for hurting you,” Y/N was stunned as his lips were back on her thigh after apologizing. 

Breathlessly, she just nodded and was surprised both his hands took a hold of her ankles and were softly caressing her just like how his lips were being gentle with her flesh. As his hands were sliding up towards her shins, she could feel the goosebumps on her skin rise, and by the time they reached her thighs, that was the only time Ransom detached his lips from her skin, “You taste divine, baby girl. But I’m not done with making it up to you.”

Having a sudden surge of confidence, Y/N spoke out, “Then keep kissing me if you want to make it up to me.” Ransom too, was surprised because this meek-looking beauty demanded him to do something, “I beg your pardon?” It was her turn to be brave and brazen as she smirked down on him, “Keep on kissing my thighs or else I’ll leave a bad review of your services.”

Quickly, Ransom placed his lips back on her thigh, kissing and smooching every inch he could find; he wasn’t sure if he was threatened with how his business could be negatively affected or was he just turned out at the prospect of being told by this beautiful woman to keep on admiring her figure.

Tangling her fingers on his hair, she tugged at him and guided her where she wanted his mouth as he gave verbal directions, “Higher, baby, kiss me higher.” Though his eyes were darkened with pleasure of having to know what her skin tastes like and aroused with how he met someone who was able to tell her what she wants and bosses him around; he’s never had someone do that to him, for it was always him calling the shots.

Poking his tongue out, he traced over the outline of her lace underwear which resulted in her letting out a moan and tightening her grip on his hair — urging him to keep going. Moving from her thigh, he kissed his way until he was face to face with the center of her pussy. Inhaling her scent, he closed his eyes as he groaned and took in her addictive scent and lunged forward to kiss and lick her clothed core. Even with the fabric in its way, he was nipping on her pussy lips and licking through it, getting a faint taste of her.

“Oh, more please,” she gasped out in pleasure; and with that plea Ransom moaned as he tore his mouth from where he was making out with her clit and smirked as she heard her sigh at the sudden loss of contact. Looking up at her, he gave her a grin as he asked, “Did you honestly think you would be the one who’ll call all the shots, baby?”

Somehow, her crimson red cheeks managed to turn into an even deeper shade of it at what he said. He then moved to pull her panties down her legs, he didn’t even wait for her to kick them out of her as he immediately licked from her clit down to her opening. Moaning out, she trembled a bit and Ransom’s hands latched themselves onto her thighs to help prevent her from falling.

“Careful now baby girl,” he warned her as he looked up to see her flushed face starting to drip with sweat, his lips never fully removing themselves from her clit so with every word he spoke the vibrations was felt throughout her core, “Wouldn’t want you to injure yourself. How are you gonna turn up to the wedding then?” 

As he finished his question, his tongue pushed itself into her tight opening and swirled around inside. Feeling dainty fingers push his face further, he was able to get a better taste of her juices that began to drip down to his tongue and he hissed at how delectable they were. Pulling out his tongue from her pussy, he immediately licked his way up to her swollen clit, “You taste amazing, baby,” he moaned out as he focused his efforts into sucking her clit hard and fast, feeling her thighs began to shake — a sign that she was close to her orgasm.

But Ransom wouldn’t let her cum right away, his left hand left the warmth of her thigh and slapped her clit multiple times, she opened her eyes in shock and looked down on the designer, aroused and elated with what he did. Getting the hint that she enjoyed what he did he teased her by saying, “You like it when I slap that clit?” Seeing how she nodded and bit her lip, he went on and slapped her clit multiple times but with not a lot of force, and his tongue went on to caress her tight opening until she once again began to quiver. 

“God you’re such a filthy slut,” he stated as he stopped the movements his tongue and hand were doing, and went on to bite lightly her thigh, “I’m gonna have so much fun with you. Have to make sure my customer leaves this place satisfied with my services.” As he mentioned the double entendre, his voice was laced with desire and hunger.

Giving her thigh one last kiss, he stood up from the platform and placed his hands on her hips and lifted her so she stood on the ground just like he was. Grabbing the back of her neck, he pushed her against him so their lips met and they began to hungrily make out. Her hands were at his cheeks, softly grazing his cheeks which contradicts how their tongues were roughly dancing with each other. While Ransom’s other hand was feeling for the zipper on her back, unzipping it and pushing the dress off of her.

Moving both his hands to touch her back, he noticed the lack of bra and felt how her nipples harden against the fabric of his shirt, he separated their lips from where they were entangled and looked down to see her breasts, “Such a nasty little girl you are, aren’t you? Wearing this gown with no bra underneath, like you wanted me to see just how good your boobs are.”

She shook her head, “The gown goes well best without a bra,” she defended. Amused with her reply Ransom decided that they’ve had enough foreplay; both his hands planted on her hips and pulled her back so it was flush against his front, “And you know what would go best with your divine body? My cock and cum,” one of his hands grabbed onto his cock and rubbed the tip of it against her folds, feeling her shudder at the sensation, “So come on and take it.”

“Shit baby girl, you’re so tight for a slut,” Ransom groaned as he threw his head back with how her walls squeezed his hard dick in one smooth motion. The hand that guided his cock in repositioned itself and held onto her hair, pulling her head back and arching her back away from his chest, which contrasted the way her ass was pushing back to accommodate Ransom’s cock.

Hand in her hair and the other on her hip, Ransom was pulling her into his cock with sharp, fast, and harsh thrusts; while her moans and whines did nothing but to fuel him to drive his thick meat deeper in her. “You like this don’t you, baby? You like how I’m just ramming into you like you’re nothing but a whore?” He taunted as he let go of her hip and began to rub, twist, and pull at her nipples.

Y/N could only nod, too blissed out to give out a verbal response for the way he was deliciously torturing her nipples disabled her from forming a coherent sentence, much less a thought. Unhappy with how she responded, he let go of her hair and slapped both her ass cheeks, “Answer me! Tell me you like it!”

She went still for a moment due to the sting of his slaps, she widened her eyes and peered over her shoulder to look at him, “I love it! I love how you’re treating me, sir.” The title she had given him made him even more feral as he ordered her, “Look in the mirror slut, look at how desperate you are for me.”

Feeling shy from seeing her blissed out state on the reflection, she instead diverted her gaze on the man behind her who was mercilessly pounding into her. She found it absolutely hot how his jaw was clenched so hard and his eyebrows were furrowed; it made her clench down on him hard which led to Ransom to slam deep inside her and grab onto her shoulders, “You’re close aren’t you, baby? You’re about to cum on my cock aren’t you?” She nodded and whined, “Yes, sir, I’m so close. Please let me cum,” he chuckled in appreciation, she begged him to cum without even telling her to do so. 

Speeding up the pace of his thrusts, his one hand was now alternating with rubbing and pinching her clit, in order to get her right on the edge. His lips were resting against her ear, his pants were only turning her on even more and with a final pinch of his fingers, she was cumming hard and with a loud wail.

Feeling how her walls squeezed him too tight to the point he couldn’t move anymore, Ransom stilled inside her and wrapped his arms around her stomach, “Fuck, you feel good.” After a couple of breaths, Ransom collapsed to sit down on the platform, taking her with him. Sitting down, he took the time to steady his breaths and recover from the intensity of their intercourse and orgasm. 

Snaking his hand to her cheek, he tilted her head enough for him to plant his lips on hers and let her give a faint taste of her own juices and he pulled apart from her not without planting a small kiss, “The gown will be ready in a week, baby. And it’s on me.”