#I love 5 minute stupid distractions

[xiaomao-ai-wo]

there is no crossover between two pieces of content or media I enjoy that is too stupid for me to not be compelled to spend 5 minutes drawing

[charliemwrites]

Part 5 of Nikto’s Commandments

Content: Mentions of Past Torture/Injury, Declarations of Love, Codependency, Protective Behavior

Nikto is familiar with torture. So, so intimately familiar with it. When he knew nothing else, he knew pain. He knew flayed skin and cracked bone and burnt flesh. He knew screams tangled up in chipped teeth and pulpy tongue. Agony became a filter through which all the world’s color bled.

He didn’t know how sweet torture could be.

He didn’t know he could crave the blade of a kind word. That he could relish the bone-deep ache of a gentle touch. He longs to be drowned in your soap and burned on your skin, wishes every brush would scar as badly as acid. Somehow, he remains intact.

You are a torture he could languish in for eternity. Would gladly be hung with a braid of your hair.

But you, blessed thing, don’t even realize what you do to him. The exquisite suffering that’s remaking him. Or maybe if you do, you’re too merciful to take it from him.

“Nikto…” you croon. You’re flushed and giggly, all but in his lap. “Is this three or four?”

“Four.” He’s been counting, but he won’t stop you from having more.

You wanted to go out with the rest of the KorTac team you two have been sent with. Ever generous, you asked if he’d rather stay in, but Nikto just nudged you out the door and sunk into your shadow like always.

“One more?” you ask.

He grunts in agreement. If you wanted to stay out till sunrise, he would escort you over sunbeams.

Aksel stands to get the next round and you cuddle in against Nikto’s side again. Don’t seem to mind the Kevlar under his shirt, or the knife pressed against your thigh.

“You sure you don’t want to play another round?” Roze goads, smirking, as she shuffles the deck.

You grin, wide and pretty and so blindingly happy. “You just want to cheat me at cards.”

“I could never with your guard dog on duty,” she purrs.

You scrunch your nose this time. “He’s not.”

“A guard dog or on duty?”

“Either! Both!”

Nikto clicks his tongue and slides your half-finished water closer. You agreeably accept the distraction, dutifully sipping another quarter of it under his watchful gaze.

“I am just teasing,” Roze soothes when you set the glass down again. “Nikto just takes care of you. It is good.”

You hum, apparently pleased with her roundabout apology. “It is good.”

You thank Aksel as he sets another glass in front of you, wiping at the side with an already-soggy napkin.

“Courtesy of a man at the bar,” he adds, winking and pointing.

Nikto whips around instantly, makes cold, deadly eye contact with a normal weak unbroken stupid man at the bar. He shifts when he realizes that it’s not your attention he’s getting and awkwardly turns away.

“It’s not drugged, right?” you ask. When Nikto turns back, there’s a frown on your face. He clenches the hand farthest from you, creak of leather lost in the noisy bar.

“No, I kept a close eye,” Aksel assures. “He just tossed some cash down to ‘pay,’ that’s all.”

You snort, shrug. “Whatever.”

Nikto settles again as you continue watching the card game, seemingly content just to be in the company of others. You sip at your last drink of the night, cheering Aksel on as the underdog of the table. Nikto tucks you close and counts cards.

It’s not long before you make an uncomfortable noise and pat at Nikto’s thigh. “Restroom, please!”

He slides out of the booth and silently helps you after him, a shriveled but mending part of him endeared by the wobbly way you cling.

“Okay I think I’ve got it from here,” you assure him, patting his arm.

“You want company?” Roze asks, frowning.

“Only if you need to go too,” you reply, “but it’s right there. I’ll be okay.”

She hums and pushes another few peanuts into the center of the table with the rest of the “pot”. Nikto hesitates, but you point out the door, clearly within eyesight.

“It’ll only be a minute,” you promise, stretching up on your toes to kiss his cheek over the mask. You toddle off before he can do more than freeze.

The whole team is snickering, grinning, or shooting him knowing looks when he haltingly turns back. If he wouldn’t take their hands for it, he’s sure at least one of them would be patting him on the back. But they know better than to try to make conversation, especially without you present, and return to their game. (He thinks this is what you would call “social interaction” and it’s tolerable, for now.)

Nikto counts exactly sixty seconds before turning to watch the hallway to the bathroom. Just in time to see the man that bought you the drink stand and saunter that way. He doesn’t enter the men’s bathroom, only hovers at the edge of the hallway. Waiting.

Nikto stands and crosses the bar with a speed usually reserved for those who don’t know they’re dead yet.

The man sees him coming, wavers between pride and the smart choice. Survival instinct wins out to make the smart choice and he slinks off before Nikto is even within arm’s reach. Not a word is exchanged.

Thirteen seconds later, you stroll from the restroom and instantly catch sight of him.

“Miss me?” you tease, coming right to him.

He hums because you’ll realize he’s being honest if he says yes. But you’re a little too tipsy to do more than grab his hand as he leads you back to the table. Seem amused as he ushers you back into your safe spot in the interior.

Another blissful half hour passes before you lean into him, big eyes peering up through your lashes.

“Ready to go home?” you ask in slow, imperfect Russian.

He’s hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol and his head swims like he’s drunk. You make a surprised noise as he grabs your cheeks in one massive hand, gives a little squeeze.

“Again.”

You blink, a little cross-eyed from how he leans in. “Ready to go home?” you repeat, only slightly less stuttering this time.

It’s obscene how quickly he fills out his pants.

“Yes,” he responds in kind. Your eyes light up.

He tosses some money on the table to cover your drinks and then maneuvers you out. You happily follow along, fingers curled in the edge of his glove.

He bundles you into the separate car you insisted the two of you take, knowing he’s not one for socializing or public. Only goes to the driver’s side once you’re comfortable and buckled in.

“You have been learning Russian,” he asks. It comes out flat, but you know him well enough to just sense the inflection in his voice.

“A little bit,” you admit, beaming. “I’m not good at it. I haven’t had a lot of time to learn.”

He shakes his head. Where did you find the time? And how did he not notice sooner?

“Say something,” he commands, too fascinated to remember who he’s speaking to.

“Ummmmm oh! I love you, Nikto!”

You squeal as he hits the breaks and jerks the wheel, taking the car to the side of the road. Parks there and twists to look at you.

“Say again.”

“I love you, Nikto.”

He narrows his eyes. Leans in. “Do you know what you are saying?”

You must not. How could you of all blessed creatures say something so—

“Yes.” You tilt your head, brows furrowing. “Unless I’m pronouncing it wrong?”

“You are not.”

You are but not so badly that he doesn’t understand - on a surface level at least. He can’t fathom those words coming from your mouth. Directed at him.

His hands convulse on the steering wheel. Wanting to reach for you but unsure why. What he’ll do. He’d never hurt you, that’s the furthest thing from his mind, but he doesn’t trust himself with you either. Not right now.

And then you say something else.

A handful of sounds. A name he hasn’t heard in years. A name he barely remembers but jerks him like a leash. What he was before Nikto.

“I love you,” you repeat once more in English. “Didn’t you know that?”

On his best day words are difficult. Right now, he can’t fathom what combination of syllables would explain to you the jumbled chaos in his head.

That you can’t love him, because he is a Thing of blood and bone and agony. That even if you could love him, he would be undeserving of it. Your voice rings in his head, church bells for a broken soul.

“No,” is all he rasps out.

You make a sad face. He feels like the lowest scum.

Then you’re scrambling out of your seatbelt, out of your seat. Climbing over the center console and into his lap. He doesn’t even feel it when your knee clips his ribs or the toe of your shoe hits his thigh. It’s nothing compared to the warm lapful of you he’s got peering down at him now.

“You know how I always remind you that you’re a person?” you ask.

He hesitates, then jerks his head in a nod. You mirror him, face so serious.

“Well you’re not just a person, you’re my person,” you explain. As if it’s so simple as spelling it out. “And I love you.”

“I do not…”

You wait for him to finish, but he can’t. He just squeezes his hands into helpless fists, unable to let himself touch you.

“Don’t what?” you murmur softly. “Don’t deserve it? That’s not your choice. Don’t love me back? I don’t care. I don’t love you to get something in return. Don’t understand? You don’t have to. I just do. It wasn’t a choice I made.”

You gently tug the topmost layer of his face coverings aside, drop a kiss to the tiniest sliver of skin visible beneath his eye.

“You’re my person and I’m your person,” you finish.

“Is that… what love is?” his voice is barely more than a scraped whisper. What little he remembers of people who used the word “love” towards him in the past made it seem like the blackest curse.

“That’s what our love is,” you answer easily. “Or can be, I suppose. You’re not required to feel the same way.”

He doesn’t think he does; what he feels for you is beyond that. Beyond, he suspects, what you might even have a word for.

“Again.”

Your face breaks out into a huge smile, lighting up the dark interior of the car.

“I love you, Nikto.” You press your palm to his heart and breathe softly in awe when you feel how his heart trips over itself for you. “Will you teach me to say it right?”

He leans his head back against the seat to take in the whole of you. Warm and comfortable and unafraid. Safe. (His…)

“Da. Repeat after me.”

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Masterlist

[girlgenius1111]

all of my past i tried to erase it

part 3 of family line tensions are still high between Ingrid and her sister. Mapi tries to keep the peace. Solstråle tries to pretend she's fine. Ingrid tries to pretend she isn't going insane not understanding what is going on. cw: mentions of poor mental health / panic attacks. ingrid is pretty worried about solstråle and whether or not she is safe.

-------

It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Mapi bringing her parents to the match shouldn’t have gotten to you the way it did. You didn’t really have an explanation for it, either. You saw Ingrid talking to Mapi’s mom and it felt like everything that had gotten marginally better in the last few days had miraculously disappeared. 

You were 8 again, sitting in the office at school, fielding pitying looks from the office ladies. Both of your parents were busy watching one of Ingrid’s matches; at just 16, she was playing for Rosenborg. Your mom was supposed to bring you to watch, too. She’d forgotten. 

You were 10 again, lying to the school nurse that your parents hadn’t known you’d hurt your hand. She said it looked broken, and you pretended that you hadn’t asked your mom to take you to the doctor the night before. You pretended your mom hadn’t told you to stop faking injuries when the attention wasn’t on you for one minute. 

You were 13 again, sobbing into your pillow, while everyone celebrated just down the hall. Ingrid was leaving to play in Lillestrøm. 5 hours away. She was leaving you behind. 

You were 16, having just been dumped by your first girlfriend. You’d come home in tears, and when you told your dad what was wrong, he told you it was for the best, that a girlfriend was just a distraction. He warned you not to bother your sister with this, because she was busy with much more important things in Barcelona. 

You were 17, so drunk you could barely speak, walking home on a dark road in the middle of the night because neither of your parents had answered the phone to come and get you from the horrific party you already regretted attending. It was dark, a windy road you were walking along, and if a car came, you weren’t sure your reflexes would be quick enough. You were 17, stumbling over the smooth pavement, the depression you’d been trying to drown in alcohol making a reappearance. You were 17,  thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it all ended there, just like this. 

You were 17, standing in the airport with your parents, preparing to board the plane to Spain. You leaned in towards your mother for a hug. She avoided it, pinching your cheek lightly, and reminding your father that they had a dinner reservation to get to. You watched them walk out of the airport from your place in the security line. Your vision was blurred with tears, but you still could tell that they didn’t look back at you once. You were 17, and your mom hadn’t told you she loved you before you moved across the continent. 

In a second, all of these memories that you’d fought so hard to keep locked away deep inside your head were flooding out. Tears were pricking your eyes, and you cursed yourself for being so stupid. Ingrid didn’t care. Mapi didn’t care. You weren’t worth caring about. How had you forgotten that? How had you let yourself forget that, after everything? 

Ingrid didn’t see your expression change, too busy thanking Mapi’s parents profusely for coming to see her play. Mapi did, though. She watched as you caught sight of your sister talking to her mom, and she watched as you flinched like someone had swung at you.  She watched as you slipped out of the crowd, speed walking into the building. Mapi was torn in 2 directions, Ingrid on one side, and you running off the other way. You needed Ingrid, most definitely but Mapi didn’t like the look on your face as you ran off, like all of the emotion had been sucked out of you, and all that was left was exhaustion. 

Someone else had noticed your disappearing act, though. Caro stood, staring after you, before her gaze fell to Mapi, raising an eyebrow. The defender nodded, and Caro followed after you, while Mapi turned to her girlfriend. She pulled her away from her parents with an apologetic smile, appreciating that Alexia walked over and picked up the conversation where it had left off. 

“Ingrid, vamos,” Mapi whispered urgently. Ingrid looked at her, confused and unmoving. 

“What? I was in the middle of a conversation, María,” the Norwegian scolded. 

“I know, it’s your Solstråle, though, she’s upset, come on,” Mapi insisted, pulling on Ingrid’s hand, who finally seemed to feel a sense of urgency, and let Mapi lead her into the building. 

“Upset? Why? Did something happen?” 

“She saw you with my mom and just looked really upset.” Mapi explained. A bit of understanding washed over Ingrid’s face, and now she was the one leading her girlfriend, rushing down the hall and beginning to open door after door in search of you. 

Caro, meanwhile, had found you pretty easily. You were on the floor of a room she often came to when she was overwhelmed, although that happened much less these days. You knew Caro, obviously, and she knew you, had known you since you were pretty young. She had a calming presence, and the minute she sat next to you, and extended her hand in your direction, you took it gratefully. 

“Mapi is bringing Ingrid.” She told you, but didn’t say anything else. She just sat next to your trembling form and held your hand.  It was enough for now, enough until your sister arrived. 

And when Ingrid did arrive, it was with a loud bang as she threw the door open, sighing in relief at the sight of you. Though, that relief quickly dissolved back into worry at the state you were in. She quickly took Caro’s place at your side, hesitantly wrapping an arm around your shoulders. Your sister was surprised when you turned and threw your arms around her neck, crying silently into her shirt. 

“Jeg har deg, kjære. Det er greit, du er ok.” She murmured, looking worriedly at the other two women hovering in the doorway of the room. Mapi nodded at her encouragingly, and Ingrid refocused, rubbing a hand slowly up and down your back. 

“Thank you,” Mapi muttered to Caro, as they both stepped into the hall to give you some space. 

“Of course.” Caro said easily. “She having a hard time?” 

“Which one?” Mapi asked wryly. “Yes. It’s… it’s a work in progress.” 

“She’s a good kid.” Caro noted, Mapi nodding her head in agreement. “Well, Marta and I are around if either of you need anything.” 

“Thank you, Caro. Really.” Mapi said, squeezing the forward’s shoulder. Caro just shrugged like it was no big deal, and headed back out to the pitch. When Mapi reentered the room, you were tucked perfectly into Ingrid’s lap, although you seemed to have calmed down some. Ingrid was speaking to you in hushed Norwegian, and something she said had you lurching away from her and to your feet, stumbling blindly to the door. 

“Solstråle, wait,” Ingrid called, not really sure what she said to upset you, but well aware that it had been something. You fell right into Mapi’s arms, and though she looked a little startled, she easily pulled you close. 

“Okay, it’s alright. We’re all okay.” She murmured, noticing the rather heartbroken expression on her girlfriend’s face at the fact that you had fled from her right into Mapi’s arms. After a few minutes, you said something quietly that neither girl could hear. “What was that, nena?”

“Can we go ho- back to the house?” You asked, correcting yourself quickly, and pulling away from the comforting embrace Mapi had you in. Ingrid felt like you’d stabbed her, honestly, when you didn’t let yourself call it home. You were stoic again, though, your face void of emotion, wiping roughly at your cheeks to rid them of tears. 

“Kjære,” Ingrid said, hating the way you forced all evidence of your breakdown away. You’d been so upset, about something, but now you were acting as though nothing had happened. Your sister would have climbed into your brain if she could’ve, just to understand what was going on in there. 

“Let’s go home.” Mapi said easily, shooting her girlfriend a meaningful look. Ingrid wasn’t supposed to push you, she knew that. It was just getting harder and harder to not do so, especially when she could see how much pain you were in. She couldn't understand why you wouldn’t just talk to her, and you couldn’t understand why she was so concerned or why she was so desperate to hear what you were feeling. And considering it was the two of you, the situation was bound to blow up into an argument. It was just a matter of time. 

-------

Ingrid knew what was coming before her phone rang, but she still desperately wanted to avoid it. She was quite comfortable at the moment, curled up on top of Mapi in their bed, a show playing softly in the background. Mapi was scratching lightly at Ingrid’s scalp with one hand, and tracing lines over her back with the other. The movements made Ingrid’s entire body relax, which had definitely been Mapi’s goal, but it was all interrupted when her phone went off from next to her. 

She sat up off her girlfriend, glancing at the screen, her expression hardening. 

“Your mom?” Mapi guessed, pulling Ingrid back down into her when the Norwegian declined the call. 

“Yes.”

“You haven’t talked to her since Solstråle’s letter, have you?” 

“No.” Ingrid said. “I think I hate her right now.” 

Mapi was surprised, only because Ingrid didn’t hate anyone. If there was going to be a person, though, it would be someone who had hurt you. Because Ingrid didn’t like to kill spiders she found in the house, but Mapi knew she would kill a person for you without a second thought. “That’s okay. You can hate her.” 

“I miss her.” Ingrid admitted after another minute, her voice cracking. Her forehead was scrunched with sadness, and her hands gripped Mapi’s shirt tight in her hands. 

Mapi sighed, wishing she could take Ingrid’s pain away. And yours too, for that matter. “You can miss her too. You can feel whatever you need to feel.” 

“No, I can’t, not when Solstråle is so upset,” 

“How your sister feels does not limit how you feel. You can be hurt, and sad, and frustrated too. It doesn’t take away from pequeña’s feelings. Just like her feelings don’t take away from yours. You are both upset. That’s alright.” Mapi said confidently. “This isn’t just happening to your sister. It’s happening to you, too, and you can be sad, mi amor. You can cry.” 

Ingrid hadn’t even known she’d been about to cry until Mapi said that, but suddenly there were tears running down her face, and she was clutching tightly to the Spaniard underneath her, who did not seem surprised at all at the sudden emotion. 

“I know, baby.” Mapi husked, pressing kiss after kiss to the top of Ingrid’s head. She knew Ingrid needed this, and was content to let her cry it out until she heard a sharp breath from the doorway. You were standing just outside the room, frozen and horrified. 

“I’m sorry, Ing,” you mumbled, having come in to say goodnight, rather stunned to see your sister so distraught. 

Ingrid could only cry harder, now furious with herself for letting you see this, but too upset to do anything but squeeze Mapi’s hand, wordlessly begging for her to do something. 

“Ven aqui, nena, it’s alright.” Mapi said, gesturing you over to the bed. You looked skeptical, but you did so anyway, carefully sitting on the bed next to your sister. 

“I’m really sorry, Ingrid, I don’t mean to stress you out.” You whispered. You were in a guilty mood, it seemed, not an angry one, and Ingrid felt that somehow, she preferred when you were angry to this. 

“Don’t apologize, pequeña. You haven’t done anything wrong. Ingrid is upset, and you’re upset. It’s okay to be upset, and it’s okay to cry.” Sometimes, Mapi felt like she was teaching preschoolers how to identify and express their emotions when she talked to the both of you, though that might be an easier task.

“I’m not upset with you, Solstråle, I am upset with mom, and I am upset with myself. You don’t need to say sorry. Not for having a panic attack, for having a hard time, for any of it.” Ingrid managed then, taking your hand in hers. 

“I’m doing my best.” You said. “I know I’m not making it easy, but I promise I’m trying.” 

“We know you are. You’re doing so well, nena.” Mapi said enthusiastically, with so much excitement at you saying something remotely positive about yourself that you and Ingrid both cracked smiles. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ingrid asked after a minute. At that, you withdrew, pulling your hand from Ingrid’s and rising from the bed. Both your sister and her girlfriend repressed sighs at your sudden withdrawal. 

“No, I’m really tired. I came to say goodnight. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” You rushed out, before bolting out of the room at a speed that could barely be considered a walk. 

Ingrid sighed once you were out of earshot, settling back into Mapi. “She’s so difficult.”

“She’s stubborn. Like her sister. She’ll come around, just give her time.” Mapi assured her. 

Giving you time, though, was a lot harder than it seemed. 

-------

Your whole life, you had been encouraged by your parents to be smaller, to take up less space. If you were upset, you should keep it to yourself. If you were angry, you should calm down. You were taught that your needs always came second to everyone else’s. You didn’t like to be vulnerable with people, and you didn’t like to put your emotions on others. 

So when you woke up the next day, it was the feeling of intense shame swirling around inside of you. You’d ruined what was an impressive win for your sister, and a nice moment with Mapi’s parents. You’d upset Ingrid, so much so that she had cried about it. 

Too much. You were being too much. 

You resolved yourself to be happy today. If not happy, content. Mapi and Ingrid probably needed a day off from your ridiculous, all over the place, emotions. So today, you wouldn’t feel. You’d be perfect, you’d be small, and you’d cause as little trouble as possible. 

What you didn’t expect, though, was for that to be the opposite of what Mapi and Ingrid wanted from you. They didn’t care if you took up space. They just wanted you to talk. More than anything, they just wanted you to be okay, no matter how inconvenient that process was for them. 

It was a day off for both girls, due to the match the day before, and they were able to let you sleep in. Ingrid was worried you were sleeping too much, but Mapi assured her that angsty teens always needed a lot of sleep, and depressed teens going through a rough time needed even more sleep. Pair that with the intense panic attack you’d had the day before, you were bound to be exhausted. 

When noon rolled around, though, and you’d yet to make an appearance, Mapi relented, much to Ingrid’s relief, who had half a mind to check you for a pulse. Mapi made a coffee to bring up to you, opening your door quietly to find you out cold under the covers. 

With Snø clutched tightly in your arms, your nose pressed against the soft polar bear, you looked so young. 

“Pequeña, despierta,” Mapi murmured, sitting on the edge of your bed and pulling the covers away from your face a bit. 

You blinked up at her groggily, an adorably sleepy expression on your face, and Mapi couldn’t help but push some hair out of your face and smile down at you. You looked slightly suspicious, as you couldn’t remember being woken up like this in the entire time living in Spain, but Mapi just handed you your coffee, and settled on the edge of your bed. 

“Morning,” you said after a minute and a rather large sip of coffee. 

“Afternoon.” Mapi corrected, a little confused when your face turned red at the comment. “It’s 12:15.” 

“That’s weird. Normally Ingrid comes to make sure I’m breathing if I sleep past 10.” You noted. 

Mapi chuckled. “We’re working on some of your sister’s annoying habits.” 

“Don’t get rid of too many, or there won’t be anything left.” You said, your lips tugging up into a smirk. 

“Okay! I will just go through this chocolate croissant I made for you in the garbage!” Ingrid scoffed from the doorway, turning on her heel and marching back down the stairs. 

If there was any surefire way to get you out of bed, it was to present you with a breakfast pastry. 

Within 90 seconds, you had kicked Mapi out, thrown some clothes on and bounded down the stairs, in search of the promised croissant. It was sitting on a plate at the counter, waiting for you, next to your sister who was glaring at you slightly. 

“Thank you, Ing,” you said sweetly, throwing her a charming smile. She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. 

You hit Mapi’s hand playfully when she reached for your croissant, and she withdrew it with a laugh. “You’re like breakfast pastries the way Ingrid is about coffee.” 

“Reasonable? Reasonably attached to it? Is that what you mean, María?” Ingrid asked with a frown. 

“Of course, mi amor.” Mapi said with a smile, kissing Ingrid’s cheek softly. You averted your eyes, but you couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t make you happy to see your sister loved so well. 

The morning, or afternoon, was going exactly as you’d hoped. No attempts at conversation. No feelings. Of course, it couldn’t last. Once you’d finished eating, Ingrid perked up and seemed to prepare herself for what she was about to say, which instantly made you weary. 

“We should talk about last night, kjære.” Ingrid said calmly. 

You froze, slowly putting your mug back on the counter. Both other girls watched the way your whole body tense, the way every ounce of emotion was wiped off your face. 

“I’m fine. There’s nothing to talk about.” You said stiffly. 

“That is not true. Something upset you, and we should discuss it.” Ingrid argued. 

“Ingrid, it’s fine. Just leave it. We don’t need to talk about that. We don’t need to talk about anything.” You replied defensively. 

“It’s not fine!” Ingrid said, raising her voice, and shaking off Mapi’s gestures to calm down. “None of this is fine. We need to talk about last night. We need to talk about the letter you wrote. We need to get you in therapy. These are all things that need to happen, solstråle. We’ve given you time, now we need to do this.” 

“I am not going to therapy.” You declared, standing up with a scoff and crossing your arms across your chest. “Ingrid, I am fine. I don’t need to talk and I don’t need help.” 

Ingrid grew visibly more angry with you at that, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. 

“Amor, take a breath.” Mapi said quietly, sighing to herself when Ingrid did not do so. 

“You don’t need help? That is the most untrue thing I have ever heard. You do not write the things that you wrote and then turn around and say you’re fine. You. Need. Help.” 

“Ingrid. I am not going to therapy, and I am done talking about this.” You said, your voice dangerously quiet. 

Your sister wasn’t phased, stepping closer to you with her eyes narrowed. “You will go to therapy if I say you will, and this conversation is not over until I say it is.” 

In retrospect, even Ingrid realized that this was decidedly the wrong thing to say. You didn’t take well to being told what to do. Your reaction really should have been worse; Ingrid had gotten off easy. 

“Jesus, Ingrid, do you hear yourself? You sound just like mom.” You spit back, feeling a bit of satisfaction at the hurt that flashed across your sister’s face. “I don’t want to talk about this, especially not with you.” You spun around and began stomping towards the stairs. “Don’t fucking follow me.” You warned over your shoulder, causing Ingrid’s jaw to drop. 

“Do not-” Ingrid began, starting after you. 

“Amor, leave her.” Mapi said, intervening before Ingrid got very far, and pulling her back. 

“She is the most frustrating person on the planet.” Ingrid huffed, slamming a hand down onto the counter. Mapi looked unimpressed. 

“She is probably thinking the same thing about you right now. I told you not to push her.” 

Ingrid rolled her eyes. “Could you be on my side here for once?” She asked bitingly. 

Mapi very calmly shook her head, opening her mouth to explain when Ingrid’s eyebrows flew up on her forehead. “No. I am on your sister’s side, and you should be too. No one has been for a really long time.”

The Norwegian deflated at that, sinking down into one of the stools at the counter. Mapi continued speaking, pulling Ingrid’s hair gently out of the bun it was in, and running her fingers through it. “You’re looking at this wrong, mi amor. She doesn’t need you to talk her into therapy. She’ll get there on her own, you just need to give her time. That girl has a long way to go before she admits she needs help, believe me.” 

Ingrid sighed deeply. “Can you go check on her? She’s mad at me, I just need you to make sure she’s okay and she isn’t going to do anything stupid.” 

“Of course.” Mapi said, delicately kissing Ingrid’s lips. “I love you.” She reminded the Norwegian with a soft, almost shy smile. 

Ingrid wanted to cry at how sweet, how perfect, how helpful and kind and funny and beautiful her girlfriend was. “I love you, so so much.” 

Mapi headed for the stairs, and Ingrid made yet another cup of coffee, a coffee she wouldn’t drink.

Because Mapi came running back down the stairs a minute later, an apprehensive look on her face as she approached her girlfriend. 

“Mi amor, she isn’t up there.” She said carefully. 

“What do you mean she isn’t up there,” Ingrid asked, rising to her feet and feeling panic rise within her. 

Mapi just shook her head, putting her hands on Ingrid’s shoulders. “She isn’t up there. Her window is open, I think she snuck out.” 

Ingrid felt like something inside of her was collapsing, leaving behind a chasm that was quickly filling with anxiety. “Where… what? She… she’s gone? She…we have to-” 

What had you left to do? Only horrible, life shattering options of where you were and what you were doing were flying through Ingrid’s head, and she reached out, latching on to Mapi’s outstretched hands. 

“Amor, breathe. Calm down. We’ll find her. Where would she go?” 

Mapi hoped, with everything in her, that Ingrid had an answer. Because she had to be calm right now, for Ingrid, but Barcelona was a big city. And if you didn’t want to be found… Mapi didn’t know what would happen. 

Ingrid’s mind was racing, but one thought pushed to the front of everything else. “The lake, there’s a lake in Melhus she would always go to when she was upset. She’d go to water, a body of water.” 

Mapi nodded. “Okay, there are 2 beaches in walking distance, in opposite directions. We’ll go to one, and we’ll send Frido to the other.” 

Privately, Mapi hoped Frido found you first. She wasn’t quite sure that you wouldn’t bolt away from Ingrid, but you wouldn’t be expecting Frido to pop up. 

-------

A quick call to Frido later, Mapi was directing one very frazzled Norwegian into the car, and setting off for the beach. Ingrid was deep in thought, and Mapi kept her hand on her girlfriend’s leg, softly and soothingly rubbing her thumb back and forth. It was only a few minutes to the beach, and Mapi knew Ingrid would talk before they arrived. 

“Do you think she’d do something stupid?” Ingrid asked anxiously, her hand covering Mapi’s and gripping tightly. The Spaniard didn’t need her to explain what she meant; she knew this question was coming, really. 

“She said she wouldn’t.” Mapi said calmly. 

“She said she wouldn’t ‘do that to me,’ that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t do it, especially now that she’s mad at me.”

“This is a little fight. She wouldn’t… do that. Not over this.” Mapi reassured her, but Ingrid remained unconvinced. 

“I don’t know what she’s thinking, María, maybe she was lying before.” 

“Ingrid, mi amor, calm down. You have to trust her. Even when you’re scared, and even when it feels like you should take her bedroom door off the hinges and implant her with a GPS chip. You have to trust her not to hurt herself.”

“But what if she does?” Ingrid asked softly, as if saying the words loud enough would somehow will it into existence. 

“We can’t think like that. Promise me you won’t think like that, okay?” 

“Okay.” Ingrid agreed faintly. Both of them knew she was lying. It was all she’d been worrying about for days, and all she would worry about for many to come. 

--------

Frido found you first. When she drove by the beach and didn't see you there, she got another idea. There was a rock climbing place nearby; Ingrid had said you always used to go to a lake back home when you were upset. Though Frido didn’t want to say so, it had been a long time since Ingrid had lived with you, and it wouldn’t have surprised her if your habits had changed. And the Swede knew from your instagram that you spent a lot of time rock climbing. She told Mapi where she was headed, and sped over to the gym. 

Sure enough, as soon as she walked in the building, she spotted you in the middle of the hardest wall, seemingly only using the smallest holds to get yourself up. You were breathing hard, and the worker belaying you looked a bit concerned. 

Frido pulled her phone out, shooting off a quick text to Mapi.  “She’s here, she’s okay. Let me talk to her, don’t let Ingrid come in. I’ll bring her out.” 

Ingrid probably wouldn’t help the situation, if you were as angry as you seemed. The blonde spoke quickly to the front desk attendant, and headed over to where you were. 

She stood, just watching you. You were a few feet from the top now, luckily for your hands, which you clearly had not put enough chalk on, and were beginning to really hurt. With only a bit to go, you took a risk, attempting an impressive, one armed pull to get your other hand to the next hold. You just barely missed, falling away from the wall. 

“Fuck,” you cursed, swinging back towards the wall and smacking it with your hand. You were lowered down, clearly fuming, and Frido took the opportunity to step in front of you, giving the girl attached to the other end of the rope a look. 

“Again,” you requested, avoiding Frido’s gaze. 

She took your hand in hers, though, inspecting the tear in your skin, shaking her head. “No, that’s enough Solstråle.” 

“Leave me alone, Frido.” You snapped, trying to pull away from her when you felt the rope fall slack. You turned, seeing that the worker had abandoned her harness in favor of going to help someone else, no doubt at Frido’s direction. 

You rolled your eyes, quickly regretting it when the Swede raised an eyebrow at you. Ingrid could be scary sometimes, but she had nothing on Frido. 

“Are they here?” You asked, loosening the harness and stepping out of it with an exasperated sigh. 

“They’re outside. You terrified your sister.” Frido said, pulling you over to a bench and making you sit down, before handing you a bottle of water. 

You looked unimpressed. “I’m 18, I can handle myself in the city for an hour.” 

“She wasn’t worried about that, she was worried you were going to hurt yourself.” Frido said bluntly, sitting down next to you. She ignored how stiff you’d grown and how uncomfortable you seemed, reaching for your hand and looking at it critically. 

“That wasn’t on purpose.” You said defensively, wrenching your hand away once again. “And I told her I wouldn’t do that.” 

“Can you blame her for worrying, Solstråle, really? And maybe you didn’t do that on purpose, but you came here to push yourself instead of dealing with your feelings in a healthy way.” 

You really hated that she was right. Frido was always right. It was simultaneously her worst and best trait.

“Are they mad?” You asked in a small voice, suddenly looking very much your age. Frido stood and held out a hand to help you up.

“Not right now. Just worried. Ingrid’s going to give you a hug and you’re going to let her.” Frido instructed. You supposed that was fair. And really, you could use a hug. Hugs from your sister always made you feel better, even if you’d never admit it. 

As you exited the building, you instantly spotted your sister and her girlfriend by their car. Mapi was leaning calmly against the Cupra, while Ingrid was pacing frantically, speaking fast and gesturing wildly with her hands. 

“Did I do that?” You asked quietly. 

Frido laughed. “I think she was born like that.” 

As you neared the car, Ingrid turned as Mapi pointed at you, her face melting with relief at the sight of you. It really hit you, then, how worried she must have been, to still be so anxious even after Frido had likely told her you were okay. You weren’t making this easy on your sister. 

She practically knocked you over with the force of her hug. “You’re okay.” She murmured into the top of your head, leaving a kiss there. 

“I’m okay.” You reiterated, letting yourself hug her back tightly, even if it was just for a moment. She felt you tighten your arms around her almost unconsciously, and made a note to hug you more often. Even if it seemed like you weren’t very interested. After a minute she pulled back, placing both hands on your cheeks and making you look at her. 

“Next time leave through the front door? And tell me where you’re going? Please?” She asked. You appreciated that she didn’t tell you to do this, leaving it more as a request, although you knew it was a reasonable rule for her to put in place.

“Promise.” You said quietly. She nodded her head, satisfied, before pulling Frido into a hug that also looked to be too tight. Mapi was looking at you, rather unimpressed. You knew she was not happy with you for upsetting your sister so much, and though it annoyed you a bit, you knew it was deserved. And you appreciated that your sister had someone that was so protective over her. 

“In the car, nena. I want to talk to you when we get home.” Mapi instructed. You got in the car with no argument, the fight having gone out of you a bit. It had nothing to do with the hug Ingrid had given you, nothing at all. Definitely not. Instead of anger, you only felt apprehension, because Mapi looked dead serious about whatever she wanted to talk about. 

-------

You were nothing short of shocked when Mapi opened the door to the garage and gestured you inside upon arriving home. Ingrid watched on anxiously, and you pretended not to see the way Mapi whispered some reassurance to her and kissed her cheek, before pointing her towards the kitchen

You’d never been in the garage before; it was Mapi’s space. You were already invading her home, you wouldn’t invade the one place of the house that was really hers, too. You knew she worked something out there, knew there was a reason both cars parked in the driveway instead of in the garage. 

Mapi followed you into the room and sat down on a stool next to the large motorcycle in the middle of the garage. It was clearly in the process of being restored. You hadn’t known Mapi rode motorcycles. Well, you hadn’t known that your sister let Mapi ride a motorcycle. You stood awkwardly in the door as Mapi inspected 2 different wrenches, until she pointed at the stool next to her. 

“Ven aqui, nena.” She said. 

You took a seat, not really enjoying the tense silence that washed over the room. “Are you mad at me?” You asked after a minute. For all your anger, and all your bravado, you didn’t like it when people were mad at you. Especially not people you looked up to, people you admired. 

“No. Not mad, nena. Never mad. I wish you hadn’t snuck out your window, but I understand why you did. I wish sometimes you thought a bit more about how your actions affect me and your sister, but I know how hard that is to do when you’re as angry as you are.” 

“I’m not angry.” You said defensively. Mapi rolled her eyes, handing you a couple of tools and beginning to tighten something on the bike. 

“You are angry. You’re so angry that you feel like you’re going to explode sometimes. You’re so angry that sometimes you forget that you’re sad, too. You’re angry, and you’re hurt, and I cannot blame you for that. If anyone has a right to those emotions, it’s you.” You didn’t really enjoy being perceived so well, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. “I know angry, nena. Do you remember when I hurt my knee?” 

You nodded. The first few weeks of Mapi's injury hadn’t been a fun time, your sister beyond stressed with dealing with Mapi’s injury and her new role in the team, and you’d tried hard to be on your best behavior. 

“I started working on this bike a year ago, when everything happened with the Spanish federation. It was Ingrid’s idea, a way for me to distract myself. When I hurt my knee, it had been a bit since I’d worked on it, but suddenly I was back in this garage until all hours of the night. It’s nice to be able to control something like this, when everything else feels out of your control. That is how climbing is for you, yes?” 

You relaxed a bit at the turn the conversation was taking, and Mapi wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t just the topic; it was the fact that she wasn’t staring at you, putting pressure on you to give her an answer she wanted to hear. You were just talking. Casually. 

“Yeah. I’m in control, and I don’t have to think about anything else. It’s relaxing.” 

“It’s good for you to have an outlet like that.” Mapi stated. “This bike was Ingrid’s idea, when we first got together. Do you know what her other idea was?” 

You were pretty sure you did, and you grimaced at the thought. “Therapy?” 

Mapi snorted, handing you the wrench she was using and taking the screwdriver from your hand. “Yes therapy. You don’t have to look at it like that, though, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

“It’s not for me.” You said decisively. 

Mapi just shrugged. “I didn’t think it was for me either.” She paused, knowing your curiosity would get the better of you, and you’d ask for more information. 

“What changed your mind?” You asked after a minute. 

“Your sister did. After the euros, I had a hard time coming back to Barça and playing. Those weeks were some of the hardest of my life, trying to find my rhythm again but trying to recover from the stress I’d been under that summer. I was a mess. And Ingrid was right there with me, through all of it. I’d had a really bad day, and I asked Ingrid to come home early from a lunch she had. She came home, calmed me down, and afterwards, she asked me if I trusted her. I said I did. And she said that she really wanted me to try therapy. That I didn’t have to feel how I felt, and I deserved help. I deserved to not be miserable. She asked me to try it, for her, just give it a try.” 

“And you did.” 

“And I did. Because she’d done so much for me, I couldn’t refuse her request. Not when I knew she just wanted the best for me. I gave it a shot, and it helped, more than anything else had helped. It wasn’t a fix all, but it helped. It made me feel like I was doing something to get better.” 

Mapi abandoned her work on the bike, looking at you for the first time since you’d entered the garage. You could only see sincerity in her gaze. Not anger, but annoyance. Just sincerity. “You deserve help, Solstråle. No matter how you feel about yourself, Ingrid and I know you. And we know you deserve help. You’re a good person, and you deserve to be happy.” 

María sounded so sure. So completely convinced. You looked away from her, blinking hard. 

“You don’t have to agree to anything now. Keep an open mind about it. Think about it. Okay?” 

“Okay.” You agreed quietly, grateful that Mapi didn’t make a big deal out of it, only nodding slightly. 

“One more promise?” She asked. 

“What?” 

“Talk to us. Or just me, or just Ingrid. We’re a little lost here, nena. It feels like we were just kind of plopped down in the middle of this. We had no idea anything was going on, not really. And all of a sudden we’re reading that letter, and realizing we missed a lot. That’s on us; we should have noticed sooner. We don’t have the whole picture, though, and that makes it really hard for us to figure out how to help you. We’ll both worry a lot less if you talked to us, just a little bit.” 

That was reasonable, you had to admit. When she put it like that. You’d spent so much time being annoyed that no one had noticed, then being annoyed when they finally did notice, you hadn’t really spent a ton of time thinking about how little they knew. There was no context to your behavior, aside from what you’d put in the letter. And that just barely scratched the surface. You supposed they deserved an explanation. At least a bit of one. 

“I’ll try.” You promised. 

Mapi grinned at you this time, an infectious smile. “Bueno! Come here with that wrench. No, that one. Put it on this bolt. Twist.” 

And just like that, the conversation was over. Easily. You got the feeling that Mapi would have let it go if you’d insisted on it, but you miraculously felt better. Talking, listening had made you feel better. Mapi had made you feel better. 

-------

You both emerged from the garage around an hour and a half later, when the smell of baking cookies became too strong to resist. Ingrid had clearly been stress baking, one of your favorite of her habits. There were at least 3 different types of cookies on the counter, some done baking, some still in progress. It smelled so distinctly of home in the house, it was almost overwhelming. 

“I have something for you,” Ingrid said, drying her hands and stepping away from the counter when you walked into the room. 

“I can see that.” You said, nodding to the cookies appreciatively, but Ingrid shook her head. 

“No, something else.” Ingrid said.

“OH! I do too.” Mapi said excitedly, and they both disappeared in different directions. You stood bewildered in the kitchen, not quite sure what you were about to be given. 

They returned simultaneously, each holding what looked to be 2 frames. “Mapi’s first.” Ingrid directed. “I haven’t seen it yet.” 

You looked surprisingly at Mapi, taking the present and beginning to unwrap the wrapping paper. “What is this for?” You asked. 

“Your birthday.” Ingrid said quietly. You froze momentarily, an unreadable expression flashing across your face. “I know it seems like we forgot, but we didn’t. We got the dates messed up, but we had presents, and we had dinner reservations, just… for the 25th. Not the 15th.” 

“Oh. I thought you’d forgotten.” You said slowly, seemingly slightly emotional. 

“Nope, just bad at remembering dates. Now open your present.” Mapi said impatiently, bouncing on her feet like an overexcited child. 

You unwrapped it slowly, as if you were slightly weary of what it might be. When you pulled the frame from the wrapping paper, though, every wall you’d put up fell instantly, your jaw dropping open at the piece of art in your hands. 

It was a map. Not just a map, but a map of all the hiking trails in Barcelona. It was textured, detailed, labeled. It was intricate, all neutrals and earthy colors. It was so you. From the contents to the design, it was like it had been made just for you. 

“Mapi…” You whispered, staring, stunned, at the map. “Where did you… how did you… what?” 

“Ale’s sister Fresa  went to school with this girl that hand makes maps like this. I got her name from diablillo, and I told her what I wanted. Do you like it, do you like it?” Mapi asked excitedly. 

Mapi got her answer when you handed the frame to Ingrid, and launched yourself the few feet between you and Mapi, wrapping her in a tight hug. Mapi beamed at Ingrid, who was trying very hard not to cry. She hadn’t even given Mapi any advice on the gift. It had been all her girlfriend’s idea, she executed it all by herself, determined to get Solstråle the perfect gift. 

“It’s perfect, thank you María,” you mumbled. The ridiculous smile on Mapi’s lips didn’t falter at the use of her real name, only squeezing you tighter. 

“Te amo, Solstråle.” She said back. For once, you believed it. When you pulled away from the hug, it was to see Mapi looking smugly at your sister. “INGRID I DEFINITELY WON.”

Ingrid rolled her eyes. “She hasn’t even opened my present yet.”

“Still. I won.” Mapi smirked. 

Now it was Ingrid’s turn to hand you your gift. It was wrapped in the same paper, and you tore it off, almost cautiously, not quite sure what Ingrid would have gotten you. 

You were, once again, speechless at what you saw. This time, your eyes filled with tears immediately. Ingrid wasn’t as excited as Mapi had been, instead looking at you anxiously. 

It was a painting of a waterfall back home not far from your house. It was so distinct, you knew Ingrid must have paid a ridiculous amount of money to get someone to hand paint it. Each individual stroke was so precise, blending perfectly into the image it was supposed to be, but if you focused hard, you could pick out the greens and greys and blues and whites that you’d grown up with. 

It felt like home. It felt comforting. You could almost smell the trees, feel the cool sting of wind on your cheeks. It was a little piece of home just for you, and it was perfect. So beautiful and artistic that you weren’t sure you were worthy of it, but you looked at it in awe nonetheless. You wiped at your cheeks, not able to control the tidal wave of emotion washing over you. 

“Kjære? Is it okay?” Ingrid asked anxiously, her eyes searching your face, trying to figure out if these were good tears or bad tears. 

You let out an incredulous laugh. “Okay? Ingrid… it’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s… perfect. Thank you.” You said, turning to her with a look of complete shock. And even though it pained Ingrid that you were so surprised to receive a nice gift for your birthday, she pushed that feeling down. Instead, she pulled you in towards her, placing the frame on the counter so she could hug you properly. You were happy with it, now, and that was all Ingrid had control over. 

After a few seconds, Ingrid moved to pull away and break the hug, but you kept your arms wrapped around her, not quite ready to let go yet. Maybe it was the homesickness, or maybe it was your sister making you feel so known, and so loved. Whatever the reason, you just wanted her near you for a minute more, holding you nice and tight and safe against her. 

“I love you,” she whispered, hearing you mumble the words back, your voice thick with emotion. When you did pull away, a minute later, it was to wipe at your face in an almost embarrassed manner. 

Seeing how desperate you were for the attention to be off your tears, Mapi spoke up, her voice light and easy. “You can put them up in your room, you don’t have anything on the walls.” 

You looked at the ground, then, almost sheepishly. “I didn’t know I could put anything up on them.” You admitted.

The room fell quiet, but even though you could tell that what you said had hurt Ingrid and Mapi, they just shook their heads softly. “It’s your room, for good, you can do whatever you want to it.” Ingrid told you. 

You were about to thank her, and try to move the conversation long when Mapi let out a dramatic gasp. Both you and Ingrid whipped your heads to look at her, confused at the mischievous grin on her face. 

“Ikea. WE CAN GO TO IKEA AND GET FURNITURE FOR SOLSTRÅLE’S ROOM.” 

“María, calm down. Maybe she doesn’t want to redo her room.” Ingrid looked at you hopefully, and you knew it had nothing to do with your room, and everything to do with her not wanting to take Mapi to ikea. 

You simply smirked back at Ingrid, who sighed and shut her eyes for a minute. 

“Okay. Ikea.” She said finally. You and Mapi cheered, comically loudly, completely ignoring the rules she was setting in favor of high fiving each other and going to get ready to leave. “María, you are not building anything. Solstråle does not need her bed to collapse under her in the middle of the night. And kjære, please, please, don’t let Mapi talk you into a loft bed, you’ll fall off of it and break your arm. Amor? Kjære? ARE EITHER OF YOU LISTENING!” Ingrid shouted after you, rolling her eyes at the chants of ikea echoing around the house. 

Mapi in Ikea was a handful. You, too, were a handful at the store. Together? She was going to lose one of you, she was sure of it. It had been a long day already. And it was only set to get longer. 

--------

fluffy engen-león family trying to put furniture together in the next part?

yes, that IS all i have to say about this chapter thank you for your time.

[sweetnans]

Stuck in the moment || Bakugo, K. (pt.4)

Pairing: fuckboy Bakugo/hopelessly romantic fem. reader

Trope: Enemies/friends to lovers.

summary: You made a mistake, a huge mistake. You fucked the most cocky, annoying, bastard, fuckboy you knew. Bakugo Katsuki. And that fact was against all your beliefs. Now, after the rumor (truth) spread like a pandemic virus in college you'll have to live with the stormy consequences of your acts and whatever trash was brought with it.

a/c: Hey, it's me again. Here we are in a new series I plan to continue. I really hope you enjoy it. I put my favorite man in action (bakugo) being a selfish bastard that you would love eventually and I couldn't help to put another "trope" I'm a sucker for (guardian/father figure Aizawa) I'm so sorry if that bothers you. Once again, I'm sorry if I misspelled something, English is not my first language. (Not proofread yet)

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3♡ -> Pt.5

m.list

Is there anything better than privacy?

Nope.

Bakugo had a room for his own. His roommate bailed from college right after the first class. He had an awakening about his future or something like that he had said before taking all his clothes and leaving. Bakugo felt some sort of relief that lasted...ten minutes? His friends used to invade his space quiet often. When he came to his room after seeing your flirting with Todoroki (from afar according to him), Kirishima and Sero were there talking about a game. They noticed in an instant that something was happening to his friend. He had his usual scowl on his face, but his brows were knitted together. A bad omen.

"Hey dude, what's up with that face?" Seemed like Sero was the one who grew a pair overnight.

Bakugo only grunted on his way to the closet. He needed to change his clothes to go to the stupid party you were attending. He made sure of that.

What if he sees you with Todoroki? Was it going to make his stupid stomach churn again?

"Hey man, we were talking about the party," Kirishima said, gaining part of his attention. "We were thinking about staying here, playing games, drinking our secret stash-"

"Fuck no" he didn't even stutter.

The reaction from Bakugo set an alarm to both of his friends. They knew about how casanova Bakugo could be, but he never, ever, showed that much, the fact that they were almost certain, after what happened with you just a week ago, that his friend's response was going to be a solid yes.

"Why so eager?" Sero asked.

"I just need the distraction," Bakugo shrugged while picking and searching the proper outfit.

He was vane most of the time, but he never took more than five minutes to choose a plain shirt and baggy jeans. Kirishima knew very well what was going on.

"Sero, why don't you go knock Mina's door and tell her about the change of plans"

Kirishima tried to be subtle. Man, he tried. Fortunately, Bakugo was so busy trying to decide between a white shirt and a black shirt that he didn't notice the exchange of looks that his friends were doing right under his nose.

"Sure," Sero winked to Kirishima and left the room.

Kirishima didn't know how to address the topic. His friend would definitely deny it, and they would be doing a full circle with yes and no that would end up in Bakugo just answering with noises.

Bakugo couldn't stop touching the fabric of his clothes. Was it too soft? Was it too white? What if there was a theme he didn't know about?

"You're panicking." Kirishima crossed his arms while leaning on his desk chair. He wouldn't lie, the scene was comical to witness. "You know you can talk to me"

The friendship between the two of them was something that most people didn't understand. Kirishima was always smiling, talking to everyone and telling jokes, while Bakugo, well, he had a permanent scowl on his face, rarely showed any other emotion than bored superiority and the only events that people saw him interacting with other people was with only one purpose, to state that he was better than everybody else. He was considered a private man and someone who had a police tape that said, do not cross.

"I don't know what's happening to me," he said, exposing his heart. He wasn't going to start naming or counting details. It was implicit, and Kirishima understood very well.

"You know what, man, you need to clear your head a little. This week had been rough. What about a beer pong to drain some stress off?"

Bakugo nodded to himself without even glancing at his friend. He needed a distraction, and he was almost sure that a party was a good place to find it.

...

"I can't believe that you, the queen of punctuality, is late" Jirou was losing it with you, the fact that you left her on read after she sent that demanding text and that you were also taking your time on getting ready.

"I'm sorry, Aizawa asked me to feed his cat, and you know how she is"

Blaming your non-biological dad was the ultimate movement in your pocket, so gen z of you.

"Oh yeah, Denki told me about the rizz in your training class. How did it go?" She asked you while picking her nails looking uninterested but you caught her side glancing you.

You slid your black leather skirt on your legs and shrugged.

"Well, you can see the burn marks on my legs here," you pointed above your left knee. "And here," you pointed your right mid thigh.

"Ugh, did you put something on it? That's gonna leave a nasty scar, " you denied, shaking your head.

She was right, but you didn't have anything to tend the wound.

"Does it hurt?" She asked this time, getting close to your leg.

"Yeah it does, like a motherfucker" you giggled. "But it's okay, it's a one-time thing, Aizawa is coming back and I would never ever ever have to sparr with him again"

There wasn't a pun intended in the mention of the one-time thing, but still, you really hoped that you would never have to be in that situation again.

"Well, at least this time was something professional"

You nodded, putting your boots on.

"Oh, but then, when I went to feed the cat, he was there, waiting outside Aizawa's door"

"He was where?"

Denki, as always, appeared out of nowhere, startling the shit out of you. Thank god he was outside the room this time and not hiding in the closet or under the bed.

"I'm pretty sure you heard me right," you said, putting some gloss on your lips. They stayed quiet, urging you to follow the story. "I finished my chores as a good daughter, and when I opened the door to leave Aizawa's apartment, I stumbled against him"

"What was he doing there?" Jirou asked with a quizzed look on her face.

"I don't know, he didn't tell me," you shrugged and turned around. Both of them were looking at each other with suspicious eyes. "What?," you inquired.

"I mean, not because we are your friends and we have to be delulu for you, but it's weird, don't you think?" Kaminari said and looked straight to Jirou for support.

"In a normal situation, we would be feeding you with improbable situations, but right now, I'm even intrigued with Bakugo and his behavior towards you. He seems like he's always trying to bump into you"

You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"Wait a minute, we don't know why he was there. We haven't seen each other in a week less talk to each other, he's not trying anything, maybe he was lost or-"

"Yeah, right, lost." Jirou rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"I know the guy better than you two, and I think that Jirou is more on the correct side than you," Kaminari mumbled.

"Thank you!" Jirou stated, hoping off the bed.

"I think you're both wrong. He's not behaving in a way that's unnatural for him, he's just being obnoxious because what I said to him the other day, he's gonna leave me alone in a couple of weeks and move on to the next" you grabbed your jacket from the hanger and pointed to the door to get them going.

"You're basically saying that he's in fact following you." Kaminari dropped one of his heavy hands in your shoulder to keep you steady on the way to the party.

"She just proved my point without even meaning it." Jirou winked at you while you shook your head.

...

The lights inside the house were faint, a dim glow of absence in the middle of a considerable amount of bodies dancing at the rhythm of the music that was blasting through the speakers.

Jirou and Kaminari were the first ones to get lost inside the crowd, and it was perfectly fine for you. You weren't the kind of friends that were attached to the hip all the time. You respected each other spaces and you knew that eventually, you would find them slightly drunk, and you would hang with them again.

The party was situated inside of someone's home. A person you clearly didn't know. At that point, seeing nothing but unfamiliar faces, you started to doubt that Kaminari knew the owner of the house too.

You poured a transparent liquor in a red cup. You knew that you said earlier that you weren't going to drink, but just a drink won't hurt you.

You were looking at everything, trying to spot someone familiar or a thing to do. You wouldn't consider yourself socially awkward. In fact, people always found you easy to talk to, but you didn't make the first move. Between hi's and hey's, you recognized the characteristically two color bush of hair.

Todoroki was for you, an acquaintance. You knew him for a few classes. He always greeted you back when you raised your hand at him saying hi, but there was always something more. He was handsome and quiet, the mysterious pretty boy full of secrets that every girl wants to conquer. You weren't sure if you were one of them or if it was his vibe and mismatched eyes that always lit a little sparkle inside of you, tingling in your stomach with curiosity.

Well, you know what they say about curiosity killing the cat. Your only job was maintaining the cat alive, so for the sake of that...

"Hey," he said when he saw you approaching.

"Hi," you elevated your voice because of the music. He mimicked that he didn't hear you because of the speakers, so you leaned a little to his side. "Sorry, I didn't know you were into this"

The music, the flashing colored lights, the high pitch of voices from people trying to talk to each other. You included.

"It's friday night. What else can I do?" He shrugged hiding himself a little.

He was still a ball of cotton.

After everything that happened after the war, everyone evolved into a new facet of themselves, forming new angles, new emotions, and new personalities trying to rationale the traumas of the past into something positive.

He suffered a lot, and the fact that his suffering was being broadcast and watched by everyone in the world hurt a thousand times more. He lost all his privacy and the right to deal with the sorrow in his own way without staying in the public eye.

"I can relate to that." You sipped your liquor and scrunched your nose a little. "What are you drinking?" You glanced to his cup, but it seemed to only have water inside.

"It's vodka," he swung the cup in his hand and then gulped all the content down his throat in one go.

"It was vodka," you stated, quirking a brow. That was unexpected. And sexy. "Take mine, I don't like plain vodka"

You gave him your cup, and he accepted without second guesses.

"Do you want me to make you a drink?" He said.

It was subtle. There was no hint of flirtatious intentions. He was soft and friendly but unintentionally.

"Do you know how to make drinks?" You were surprised by his confidence. You doubted your capacities daily, so it was uncommon for you seeing this kind of demeanor, let alone in him. You were projecting.

"Yeah, there's this barman who always appears on my for you page"

He didn't laugh when he said the most mundane thing on the world, so you didn't laugh either.

"Sure, show me what you got"

You followed through the people, and in a moment where everyone was stuck like glue with everybody he grabbed you by your wrist to not lose you.

His fingers were warm, so you could bet it was his left hand. You wouldn't lie to yourself. The pads of his fingers carresing your pulse point in a firm, but soft grip made your cheeks turn red, but there was no chill in your spine or butterflies in your stomach. It was pure tenderness.

Once in the kitchen, the sound of the music lowered a little because of the close doors and the panels of ceramics doing their jobs, preventing the outside.

He moved through the kitchen, hesitating every step he took.

"What do you have in mind?" You leaned in the counter, forgetting you were wearing a slutty top that propelled your boobs almost to you neck.

He side eyed you, and after a peak to your neckline, he became more clumsy.

Your boobs were firm. They weren't big, but they weren't small. Your ex-boyfriends or past flings had always said to you that they were perfect. You knew that tits were tits for them, and the mere concept of boobs was attractive for every straight man.

Lifting your hand without making much fuzz over it, you pulled the top covering the skin.

"I-I," he stuttered, opening and closing a few drawers. He cleared his throat, regaining his confidence again, and showed you a couple of lemons. "Kaminari said once that your favorite drink was Cosmopolitans"

You were surprised by two things. The first was Kaminari talking about you. You needed the context of that conversation, the why, the who, and the how. The second thing was him remembering that unimportant fact about someone who didn't even talk to.

"Yeah," you came back from your stunishment.

Completely, contrary to how he moved in the kitchen fetching all the ingredients, he showed that he was a total expert making drinks, or at least he was good pretending to know how to make them. He used his hands graciously to pour all the things into a shaker he found, and then he poured the most delicated drink you ever saw.

You were used to Kaminari and Jirou mixing all the ingredients stirring them with a straw but that was different.

"Here you go"

The glamor ended when the drink touched the red cup, but we are going to skip that detail.

In your mind, you cursed yourself from the past, the one that swore that would never drink again because after sipping just a drop of that elixir, you couldn't help but want more.

"You shouldn't be moaning like that in front of everybody"

His gruff voice coming from behind made all the hairs in the nape of your neck react.

Of course, the only one that could ruin the perfect moment with the perfect drink and the perfect company was nothing more and nothing less than Bakugo Katsuki himself.

Oh, beloved earth, could it please swallow you already?

...

Bakugo meshed well because of his friends. They were talkative enough to supply the lack of social rudeness of him.

After they arrived at the party, he planted himself in a giant group of men playing beer pong. He played a few rounds and then got bored because everyone was wasted, and for him, it was no fun watching them stumble and laughing at the most stupid things.

His friend helped a little with that. They were talking with Sato and Shoji about some game and some fighting techniques that Bakugo was more than pleased to show interest and even help them with their doubts.

They engaged in a conversation that evolved to many topics that he actually enjoyed. He was fully focused on them when a glance of the color of your hair and the characteristically smile of you dragged all his attention out of the group.

You were wearing just a top and a tiny skirt with black boots that made him want to be stomped on.

Bakugo excused himself of the group. His friends were too busy to realize what was happening and why he was so exalted.

You weren't alone.

You were following that half n' half shithead.

He was the opposite of idiot. He knew how to play his game and how to act when he was committed to spying on someone. He observed from the slight opening between the frame and the door how Todoroki reacted to your presence and vice-versa.

He had a great view of your ass in that skirt. You were leaning on the counter with your ass popping up, and he could notice that Todoroki had a nice peak of your tits. He saw you covering yourself quietly after he became the stupidest person of all times acting distracted and awkward.

"Fucking icyhot," he thought.

Bakugo needed to do something quick, and for one moment, his lack of reasoning won over his structure and square shaped mind.

After that one sentence that drew your attention completely, he saw the change in your posture, the way your smile faded, and how suddenly all your muscles were rigid against every part of your skin that you were showing because of your outfit choice.

He felt intrigued because of the sudden change of your demeanor in response to his presence, and he also felt satisfied with that.

"Oh dear," you sighed, turning around to face him. He never showed any particular emotion, but this time, he couldn't hide the little smirk that appeared on his lips.

"I never expected to see you here," he continued.

You were about to answer when you realized that it wasn't directed to you. He was talking to Todoroki, ignoring your presence in front of him.

"Yeah, I'm not a fan of this kinda stuff," Todoroki said impassive.

"I can notice that," he said with superiority and because of the silence he added. "So what's going on in here? Are you having a little party for yourselves?"

Bakugo knew very well how to play the who can be more annoying game. In a matter of competition, he always won. This wasn't an exception.

"Todoroki was making me a drink, and that's all, now if you excuse us -" you said, opening your eyes and directing them to the door so he could read the room.

"Cool, what'cha drinking?" He didn't wait for your answer and grabbed the drink that you left in the counter taking a giant sip.

The tension in the room was palpable, and you were dying of embarrassment. The booze in your system was not the sufficient amount to get you through what was happening. You wanted to die.

"That's a little too acid for me, but it's good, sure you did a great job"

The way he was saying things was taking you to the verge of lightning him up with your quirk. You looked at Todoroki. He was more than used to weird interactions, but he was looking at Bakugo in a way you couldn't decipher.

"I have an early training at my dad's agency tomorrow, I have to go." Todoroki voice was plain, but when he looked at you, you could see the pity in his eyes. "Maybe next time"

Your entire body was saying sorry, but the words never got to your mouth. You only nodded. He was a good guy and someone that you were actually interested in getting to know, but there was the other bastard ruining everything again.

Both of you saw Todoroki leaving the kitchen, and if someone was looking at the scene from outside, they could've seen how Bakugo puffed out his chest and how the pure rage invaded your body.

"Look what you just did!" You smacked his bicep, and he smirked wider, making you regret smacking him so lightly.

"What? He was totally shitting on himself with you here. I saved his ass. " he pointed towards the door that was still moving with the tandem of Todoroki storming out. "I bet he wouldn't have made it to the second base with you"

"Jeez, that's for me to decide," you whined like a little girl.

"I just did what I had to do"

"Oh my god, what's gotten into you lately?" The bravery made only by the alcohol in your system took control of yourself. "You've been following me and riling me up just for the fun of it. It's been a fucking week I thought that what happened between you and me was more than over, what do you want from me?"

Just as the booze took over your system, Bakugo had his own little thing commanding his decisions. He wasn't sure of what it was.

"I want us to be friends"

You were taken by surprise.

He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't do friends, he didn't need a friend, he had enough but you, what was the deal with you? He found exhausting the feeling of you feeling repulsed by him, the avoidance game that you played very well.

Damn he felt intrigued by your lack of excitement when it came to him. Excitement? The euphoria that tagged along with having the experience with him, people talked about his stamina in bed very often, and that was the clear answer in his head. Was he good enough? Yeah, he was, but it seemed that he wasn't enough for you.

He always knew that his attitude was bad and people loathed him because of it, and it was alright for him. He could definitely still live knowing that. It made sense, at least, hating him for something bad like his demeanor...but sex? He thought he was one of the dudes that the girls wanted more of, the type of guy that the girls will speak of with their friends, the type of guy that would be top tier in a chick's list, well, that really happened before, many times, but what was the problem with you? Why did everyone else he sleep with do that but not you?

He didn't expect the sudden feelings that came along with the concept of you.

Rage. He remained calm in the most stressful situations, but you, with the snap of your fingers and your smart mouth, did everything to put his world upside down, and that wasn't fair for him.

Jealousy. Seeing you flirting, talking with other people when the number of times he had ever spoken to you were almost close to zero than to ten.

Even dependency. He wanted to be close to you so much.

And...confusion, why? why was he feeling so out of control out of nothing?

That's how it felt being pussy whipped?

"Friends?" You snapped him out of his senses.

"Yeah, friends is a word that means -"

"I know what friends are, you stupid asshole." You rolled your eyes at him who was still standing there with superiority after destroying your moment with Todoroki.

"So?" He urged. He was calm even when his mind was racing at the possibility of you saying no.

"What's in for you?" You were suspicious. You knew very well the closed circle of friends he had, only four at best.

"Nothing, I found you not a total waste of space," he said nonchalantly. If you were expecting him to shower you with compliments, you were wrong.

You knew how he was. Always believing he was the best, that his position in the world was above the others, how he called 'extras' the people that were surrounding him but not fulfilling his expectations or even near his expectations, well, if he had one because most of the time people weren't worth his time.

You were exactly the opposite of him. You never had the need to test people out. You never had the need to prove yourself against others. You lived your life day by day, almost unnoticed. You needed to be smarter than him.

"Fine," you conceded. "But, there's one condition"

He scoffed, clearly enjoying and making fun of you for thinking you had the position on making conditions.

"We are not fucking again"

You drew the line.

You've had your friends with benefits before because you knew them. Bakugo was a completely different scenario for you.

He wouldn't lie. He, in his men mind, thought that maybe offering his friendship to you would be the easiest way to get inside your panties. You were not just a pretty face. You had brains.

"Sure, you don't see me fucking with raccoon eyes" he rolled his eyes pretending to be offended.

"Then we have a deal." You smiled tensely at him. He extended his hand for you to take it. "That's how you normally make friends? Like you are selling something?"

"Shake the damn hand"

He used the opportunity of you closing your hand in his to pull you closer to him, stumbling against his broad chest.

You looked at him squirming your eyes, waiting patiently for the moment he decided to fuck everything up. He looked closely at your face, the smuged marks of your eyeliner under the corner of your eyes, the way your lashes curled up and marked more the shape of your eye. He was perplexed by your beauty.

"You left some hair on my pillow, " he said with his voice hoarse, tugging a string of your hair behind your ear.

"We said friends, didn't we?" You smacked his hand far away from near you and he smirked.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "To be honest, I don't know how long this is going to last"

"What do you mean?" You asked, taking the remaining amount of drink in your cup.

"Don't get me wrong. Im a man of my word, but I don't know if you would be able to keep up with our promise"

You laughed at him. You've seen the man naked. You had him on top of you. You didn't need anything from him.

If he wanted a challenge, you would be more than happy to comply.

"Yeah, of course," you scoffed, "I have so little control of myself that I won't be able to keep my hands to myself."

The tone in your sarcasm was rich. He found it amusing.

"Laugh all you want, but I'm not going to be the one suffering because of this dumb decision of keeping us as only friends"

The seriousness on his voice sent a chill up and down through your spine.

"You are so full of yourself." You laughed again, but this time, it was a nervous laugh.

He put his hands up in redemption while walking backward toward the door and then left you all alone in the kitchen with your thoughts.

Was he drunk, too?

He was, only ten minutes after you accepted on being his friend, in fact, suffering because of your quick answer and condition to not mess with each other. He needed strategy, thinking logically to make you make the first move with him.

He didn't know what was the thing responsible for him being so stubborn when it came to you. He didn't know if it was like those occasions when you became obsessed with the things that were out of your reach. The negative of you about being even near him again. He didn't understand a thing about what was going on. But he did know that he was Bakugo Katsuki, and when he had something - someone in this case - in mind, he didn't give up until he had it in his hands.

(Not proofread yet)

End note: I'm working late cause I'm a writer. I tried to make it longer because I made you wait a week for it, so enjoy! Todoroki making us our favorite drink? We know that since he discovered youtube shorts and reels (not tiktok because he is half boomer and socially awkward) he's been stuck with watching short videos every day, cocktail videos and house projects are his favorite, I have no doubt about that.

A penny for your thoughts about this (not really but express yourself)

taglist: @kiridagremiln @aefillor @screechingfangirlaf @chuugarettes @gold24fish @dreamcastgirl99 @andyetshewrote @budibbly @candiiee @linkfromskywardsword @galaneiaeris @fantasynerd05 @big-denki-energy @3thr3al @marsbars09 @whatswrong7 @scaranthropy @cc1306 @junehasnotbeenfound @jeanbabygirl @pirana10 @sappho-the-kitten-tamer @ahbeautifulexistence @polarbvnny @th0tformikasa @surprisemodafakas @xxjesshuxx @katsuisbaby @azzo0 @atashiboba @azzo0 @berryvioo @hiimsaraandyou @bizzybkd @regrexx @justsinri @slut-4-gojo @bexxs @lemuhr @monkeycheeks-lvl26 @tsukikoxo @sikuthealien @mia-luvs @dondeh-zedonutqueen @the-queen-yn @stardream14 @pretty-sparkle-bomb @itzjustj-1000 @m-atcha-tea @liluvtojineteyam @shosuki @v3n7s @yoyolovesdaiki @jenna-sakura @femi12hhf @aejabba @im-nowhere-but-also-somewhere

taglist continues on the comments.

Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.

[cherryredstars]

Hi cherry! First of all thank you for your work, your writing has permanently altered my brain chemistry 😳😳 I was wondering if u could write something where Miguel and his ex reunite after a bad breakup, perhaps a few months after (maybe they bump into each other during a party or smth) and as they finally talk both admit that they never managed to move on (like reader went on a few unsuccessful dates, since shes still obsessed with Miguel it has been pointless) they are still in love and they want to make it work this time!!! And since they are back together reader is rlly needy and touchstarved 🥴🥴 she missed him so so much and all,,,,

thx again for feeding my miguel’s hyperfixation!! you are one of my fave authors here ❤️❤️ you deserve the world!!

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Fingering, Squirting

A/N: Hello and thank you, love 🫶🏼! Enjoy!!

Unedited

Well, this was another disaster.

You’re practically moping at your reflection in the bar’s bathroom. You’ve been hiding in there for more than ten minutes, but you would be surprised if your date- even if he’s not worthy of the small title- has even noticed your absence.

The whole night had been a disaster, right from the very start. Not only had your date been twenty minutes late, but he also failed to so much as greet you for more than 5 seconds before ordering himself a beer and turning his eyes to the small bar TV to watch the old sports rerun from the night before. You would cringe when he loudly reacted to the events on the screen as if it were happening in real time, making the people around you turn to him with perplexed and judgmental looks that made you want to crawl under the bar and out the door. Your attempts to distract him from the game with small talk only turned to him giving half-assed information about himself and him asking if you’re covering the tab for his beers.

What a stellar experience!

You stall in the bathroom a bit longer by being extra delicate in your lip reapplication, all the while whining to yourself in your head about how you could have saved your outfit for a better occasion. With another sigh and a planned excuse to end the night early, you hype yourself up to leave the bathroom and return to your date.

When you open the door, you almost stumble into someone’s chest. You blink in surprise, an apology forming on your lips as you slowly lift your head up. The words instantly shrivel up and die when you meet familiar red tinted eyes, the air in your lungs suspending.

Miguel, sporting his usual grumpy look, instantly softens as he meets your eyes. He seems to take you in, like your the first sign of water since taking a cruel journey through the desert. The look alone is enough for your heart to go into overdrive

Despite the sudden dryness in your throat, you manage a small smile, “Hi.”

The one word is soft, almost tentative. It makes something in Miguel crave more. He’s been wanting more the moment the two of you broke up, the reason stupid after a few months apart.

He returns the smile, hands going to his pockets to fight off the temptation to grab you and never let you go, “Hi, I like the dress.”

Your eyes instantly fall down to take in your outfit, cheeks blazing from the compliment. Your fingers play with the hem of the skirt, a bashful thank you bubbling from your lips. It makes Miguel’s smile just slightly larger as your eyes hesitantly meet his again.

A silence fills the space, both of you caught up on things you could- should- say to each other. The silence begins to grow awkward, and Miguel finds it to be the perfect opportunity to slowly reach his hand out.

He means to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, but the pounding in his chest makes him miscalculate slightly and instead skims the apple of your cheek. The touch shoots rapid jolts of electricity down your spine, awakening your nerves from a long hibernation. Your hand desperately grabs at his wrist, trying to keep his hand in place. Then suddenly, everything is fast forwarded.

Your lips crash together in a hungry, desperate urge to be closer. Your bodies pushing against each other until your smaller body is pushed back through the bathroom door, the lock faintly clicking behind the two of you as you’re lifted up and placed onto the counter. Your hands exploring inches of skin that you still know like it’s your own. Refamilarising yourself with every bulge of muscle and every dip.

Despite the vicious need to have you naked against him, for your skin to press against his and swap a cycle of warmth, Miguel grits his teeth and restrains for ripping clothes off of your body. This place is filthy, and he doesn’t want to tarnish your skin. Instead, his hand slips under the hem of your dress, pressing into the soaked spot growing in the fabric of your panties.

Your body bristles from the contact, your sex burning hot and throbbing. You squirm, your body already begging for more. Miguel reads you instantly, slipping his fingers under the fabric until he grazes your twitchy clit and reaches your leaking hole. He circles his fingers around the wet entrance, lubricating his fingers with your arousal before slowly pushing them in.

A low whine escapes you, your walls clamping down hard around his fingers. Miguel hisses at the vice grip you have on him, his thumb attempting to relax you by circling your clit. It makes you whine more, practically squirming on his hand.

Miguel buries his face into your neck, kissing and sucking at the column of skin, “Fuck baby, you’re so sensitive.”

You can only sniffle in response, your mind zeroing in on the slow curling of Miguel’s fingers. Your eyes are half lidded and hazy, small moans leaving your lips as the tips of his fingers press into the gummy spot inside of you. The pleasure grows quickly, pent up sexual frustration from dates you wouldn’t even let into your home and late nights at work to distract yourself from the ache in your heart unleashing and flowing down Miguel’s wrist.

With a combination of thrusting and curling, your body spasms with a choked moan as you collapse against him. He can feel the gush of your release spray against his hand, creating wet squelches as he continues to work you through it. Clear drops landing on the counter eventually begin to form a small puddle under you as your panties become completely soaked through.

You’re fighting for breath once you come down from your high, mind foggy and stuck in a state of bliss. Miguel slowly pulls his fingers out, his entire palm soaked with clear arousal. A stray drop runs down his arm, and he’s quick to catch it with his tongue. He almost comes in his pants as the sweet taste explodes in his mouth, making him hungry for more. He fights the urge for now, promising himself it’ll come with time before grabbing napkins from the dispenser and cleaning the inside of your thighs and the puddle under you.

He slowly pulls your soaked underwear down, recognizing the flash of discomfort that comes over your face as you come back to earth, stuffing the fabric in his pocket before helping you down onto your shaky feet. You hold onto his arm tightly feeling as if you’re trying to balance on jello, and Miguel wraps an arm around your waist to stabilize you. Your breath is still slightly irregular, and you take the moment to close your eyes and lean your head against his chest. You can hear the pace of his heart, not a bit surprised that it mimics yours.

“Come home with me.”

You smile into his chest, humming.

Like he even had to ask.

[bluejutdae]

best friend Stray Kids saving you (or being saved by you) from a bad date | Hyunjin x you

Chan , Minho, Changbin, Jisung , Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin.

a/n: finally I managed to write the last part of this series, the Hyunjin part! There’s not much “saving” here because I had this dramatic idea in my head and I didn’t want to renounce to it. Enjoy!

The rain outside has been incessant for days, so many that it started to be difficult to recognize the time of the day just by looking at the sky. Everything it’s gray, and you almost forgot about this date. The guy is the cousin of one of your colleagues, and you would have canceled it if only you had a bit more hope. Not on this date, you know it’s gonna end up with you telling the guy it’s not the time for you for a relationship or some other fake excuse, you’ll apologize for wasting his time and the truth is: you do feel sorry for wasting his time, but staying home knowing Hyunjin is probably out there kissing his girlfriend and having fun made you a bit selfish. You ignored him for the last 5 days, after he called you at 2 am and you couldn’t help it but hope it meant something. But what would it mean? You’ll never know, cause you didn’t answer.

Your heartache clings to you like molasses, covers you head to toes, you can feel it under your teeth. You’re so used to it, it doesn’t scare you anymore. But it’s so tiring to wake up everyday and do the same routine: wear your clothes, slip in your shoes, put on your grief, grab your purse. Day after day.

The restaurant you’re having your date at is a nice one, you often order takeout from it. The only downside is that it doesn’t deliver home, so anytime you want its amazing food, you have to get out of your house and come collect it. It’s worth it.

Shivering in your cute top, you nod to something your date just said and reach for the wine glass. You have nothing in common with him, you barely remember his name. Was it Minjoon? Minhyun? Once again something distracts you from the conversation (it’s a monologue, at this point) when you hear your phone chime, signaling a message. And since love is blind, and most days it’s also stupid, you can clearly recognize the tune you use for Hyunjin and Hyunjin only.

You have been ignoring him, but you were sure he didn’t even notice. Ten minutes pass and you’re on the verge of just leaving the date, apologize profusely and go home to cry. The bell on the door chimes as someone enters and, once again not paying attention to the man in front of you, your eyes wanders to look at whoever enters. It could have been a couple grabbing dinner, it could have been parents celebrating their kid’s success, it could have been anyone. But just as love is blind, so is luck. Because it’s Hyunjin who just entered the restaurant, and it’s Hyunjin looking directly at you, eyebrows knit in a frown and a sour expression distorting his lips. You’re frozen in your seat, watching him shaking his head, speaking with a waiter, collecting his dinner and leaving. You can't have him leave like this. Something in your gut is telling you it’s now or never, if you let him go now, you might as well let him go forever. And you’re not ready for that.

In a blur of apologies and confused sentences you leave your share of money on the tablecloth and, grabbing your purse, you flee the restaurant. It doesn’t matter that you left your jacket on the back of your chair, it doesn’t matter that’s it’s pouring outside, it matters only your voice calling his name.

He doesn’t turn, doesn’t stop, keeps on waking under the rain, head down and fast steps. You start doing that awkward running walk, reaching to grab his wrist. This effectively makes him stop, but he looks displeased.

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?”

“You’re on a date.” He frees himself from your grasp, almost like your touch burns him.

“So?”

“So you’re having dinner with another man. Why would I interrupt?”

“Because you always come say ‘hi’ when you meet me by chance.”

“Not when you’re on a date!” He snips. You’re still both under the rain. For a moment you wonder why he hasn’t insisted on moving under a covering. You haven’t because the cold rain is soothing your nerves, soothing the pain you feel anytime you’re too close to him. Did Icarus feel like this when he was soaring too close to the sun? Did he wish for the rain when the scorching wax burned his skin? Did he love the freedom so much he reveled in the pain, hating it at the same time?

“I never go on dates!”

“Clearly, you do.”

You sigh, “this was my first date in 4 years, Hyune.”

“And I didn’t know you had a date, wanna guess why? Because you ignored me for days!” He uses his free hand to push back the strands of hair that fell on his face, dripping wet.

“I thought you were busy. Last time we talked you were really focused on getting ready to meet your girlfriend. Why would I interrupt that?” He’s baffled, and rightly so. In the past, you had no qualms about texting him at all hours.

“Well, I was focused”, you can hear his mocking tone. When did this transform into a fight? “because I was meeting her to put an end to our relationship, because I realized I’ll never be in love with her because I am crazy in love with you. And I tried to call you because I needed to tell you so, I needed to know I did the right thing. I thought this wasn’t one sided. And yet you ignored me and- fuck” he laughs disheartened. “-and went on a date with another man.”

“I- you, what?” You blink rapidly, drops of rain blurring your sight. “You broke up with her? For…” you can’t say it. You can’t bring yourself to say ‘for me’, because it’d make it real. And it could be the best thing or the worst thing. Or both, at the same time. Did Icarus ever think he’d succeed? Did he ever consider he could fly, escape and be free; or did he -like you- only ever imagined failure in front of him? Was he like you, swimming stroke after stroke towards something, wishing for the best but never thinking it could come true? There’s a certain push that animates the despairings, there’s no fight or flight response. There’s only the pilgrimage towards the unreachable goal.

“For you.”

A beat passes. Another. Another one.

“Since when?”

“Since you held my hand after that nightmare. Since I realized I'm not scared when I’m with you.”

There’s something they don’t tell you about desperation, about wanting something so bad that you can feel it missing from your own body. For weeks, for months, you get used to the longing, the yearning. When you can finally wrap your hands around his shoulder, when you can press your lips against his and hear him utter a soft groan, all that you used to feel transforms into electricity, it runs through your whole body and sets you aflame from the inside. This kind of burning, though? It’s a welcomed feeling.

[mrsparrasblog]

You're losing me pt. 5

prev. part. first part.

TW: Gun, violence, mentioned rape, gaslighting, medic is shit

It was your last day on sick leave, so you spent it grading papers, cuddling with Winston, and getting distracted by Kyle's messages and his slutty pictures. You were so thankful for Kyle; he never pressed you for what happened with Johnny, just distracted you.

After you send a picture of Winston you heard the bell ringing and rolled your eyes. You knew Kyle never listened when you said not to come over, even though you really needed that time alone right now. Johnny is an artist, even though he didn't admit it, and so was being in a relationship with him. It was like being in a colorful picture, so vibrant. But since you left him, it felt like someone drained out the color; the painting is black and white, no longer golden.

You went to the door, opened it, and to your surprise, it wasn’t Kyle behind the door. She was there, her eyes puffy and red. 

"What do you want?" If she was there to humiliate you, you’re going to throw up. You shortly texted Ky that she was there.

"I wanted to talk to you, I need your help," she sobbed.

Simon always called you one of the nicest people on earth, but right now, it was enough of being nice. "Well, you can ask Johnny for help." You tried to shut your door, but her foot was already between the frame.

"He is the problem."

"What, did he leave you?" you snorted out.

"He threatened to kill me because of the baby." You clearly misheard her. This can't be true, as if you can do anything against Johnny, and as if Johnny would do something against his own teammate.

"Baby?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant, three months." She rubs her nonexistent belly in front of you. Three months? Johnny cheated on you for three months? And a baby? No, this can't be true. Johnny loves babies; he’d never kill a pregnant woman, none of them.

"And he is threatening you?" You asked while slowly trying to pull out your phone again. You knew Si would be here in 4 minutes if you called him.

"Yes, he wants to tell everyone that I raped him, just so I get an abortion." With that, you burst out laughing. This was the worst joke you ever heard. When she wanted you to pull you away from him for real.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid to believe this shit now leave my apartment before I call the police." You already pulled out your phone to dial the number of the police, who are you kidding, dial the number of Simon. Simon and John always explained if something happens to you, call them instead of the police, they solve your problem faster, and that was a gigantic slag-formed problem.

"Bad mistake," she points out a gun to you, calculating. You trained for this situation endless times in school, but it was still different when someone held a gun against you. Would it work to tell her that there are people that love her? Or maybe you should argue with logic.

"When you kill me, they won't forgive you, it's not worth it," you said trying to sound as calm as possible.

"They won't find out," she laughed. God, that woman was batshit crazy.

"Here are cameras," they weren’t recording, but maybe she was stupid enough to believe you.

"They will understand," she said. Maybe she was stupid enough but also crazy enough to not care. There is only the last logical thing you could say to her.

"Then kill me."

"What?" She was surprised at your bluntness, but you knew she couldn’t really kill you, and if Kyle looked at his phone, he would have already been on his way, so you need to get through this for 10 minutes, 10 minutes, and you are safe.

"If you kill me, Johnny will find you, Kyle will break you, Simon will torture you, and John will finish your miserable life, my death isn’t worth this." You slowly walked backward towards the counter, there must be a gun. John put it in there when you first got together. You didn't quite know how to use it, but better than nothing.

"You're right," finally.

"So why don’t we put the gun down and just, you know, talk about it like adults," you suggested, still moving tiny steps backward.

"Stop moving, or I'll kill you," the same words over and over again. She sounded like a broken record recorder. You stopped moving, but this wasn’t enough for her.

"Maybe I should kill your rat, so you listen." Rat? Her gun pointed toward Winston. Fuck, she should better kill you than your baby. You lost complete hope in turning her; she is crazy.

"He is Kyle's dog, not mine. If you kill him, he will be sad." The shake in your voice was evident; tears started to storm out of your eyes; you didn't know what to do anymore.

"Three of four are enough, anyways." Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I can call them; I'll break up with them, just let Winston be safe, okay?"

"Really, you give up your boyfriends for that rat?" She gestured disgusted at your precious baby.

"Yes."

"Okay, call them," you walked to the counter, dialing Simon's number, close enough to the gun. You really hoped they don’t show a sign that they know; they are SAS; they need to understand, right?

"Hello," good, Simon's voice.

"Are the others with you?" You asked, trying not to tremble; she couldn’t find out what you planned.

"Yes, I put them on speaker, luv."

"I'm breaking up with you, with all of you for final this time. John, you're always putting me in danger, Johnny, you're always with her instead of my home, always on deployment with Simon, and you’re carrying all these scary guns with you that make me afraid, and I hate your stupid dog, Kyle." She looked proud and relieved at you, too stupid to realize. But they were smart, right?

"Okay, just give me back my keys to the office, they’re in the cupboard in the kitchen. I don’t want to see you anytime soon, I will pick it up at three tomorrow, bye." She gained heavily, and all you could feel was relief; you looked at the clock; it was 2:57, three minutes, and the gun. God, you loved your smart boys.

"Will you let me go now?" you asked, and she shook her head.

"Just need to make sure that you never go to my boys again, you can understand, right?"

"I'll move abroad if you want, the US, Germany, Italy, call it and I'll be gone." Before she could reply, she heard a loud bang outside, and that was your chance to grab the gun as she turned around, loaded fucking genius John, but not in safety, idiot. And then you shot, closing your eyes. You never did this before; the closest you came was a water gun at the beach; you didn't hit anything major, only her shoulder, but it was enough for her to lose her stance and fall. Seconds after, the boys went in Simon pulled her to the ground like a bulldozer with John. While Kyle and Johnny ran to you.

"Are you okay?" Both men asked, checking you for any injury.

"I don't feel okay."

"We know, love." You wrapped your arms around Johnny and began to sob. You needed him; you missed him and you were so scared. You knew for a fact he didn't cheat on you after that stunt that woman pulled today.

"We'll take care of her; we will be back soon, luv," Simon said with a devious grin while putting his boot on her to press down on her bullet wound.

John and Ghost left with her, and you knew for a fact your shot would be the nicest thing she witnessed in the next few days.

"I shot someone."

"Proud of you, hen."

"Never shoot again, please, babe; you're terrible at it," Kyle joked, but you still felt shitty. He knelt down, hugging Winston tight. "Oh, you've been such a brave and good boy protecting your mama. Let me take you to the park, pup," he said while Winston barked happily. "You two need to talk this out."

"Only we two now, Johnny."

"Aye, only we two."

"Where do we start?"

--------------------

Taglist: @cod-z , @kaoyamamegami, @postmortem-angel, @jackrabbitem , @sseleniaa , @thigh-o-saur , @littlechomper @ab12305 @darkangel4121 @thychuvaluswife

A/N : so I added the picture of Eliot to make up for the Angst I write 😭

For any who has a light belly (do you say that in english or only in German lol?) the next chapter will be half torture of her and the other half Johnny and Reader <3

[thecapricunt1616]

It’s 5:30 am and I literally have been awake for the past 3 hours trying to fall asleep but this fucking guy

This beautiful British blonde FUCK has been plaguing my every brain cell and it’s SICK. Thinking abt early mornings with him and how tender and sweet he’d be GRRRAH (more BTC)

But okok so imagine you’re having a hard time falling back asleep, it’s like 3:45 am but you don’t care, it’s actually a pleasant surprise for you when you wake earlier then normal, because your man isn’t usually far behind.

Like Carmy, he wants to be the first one up, the first one ready, the first one that gets to work. So naturally he’s rousing at 4, taking a good 5 minutes to lay with you and smother you in gentle kisses, light enough to assure you wouldn’t wake too soon, but enough to satisfy himself that he gave you enough love and attention before he got to work.

That is something different between those two. Carmy sees a relationship as a distraction and something he needs to tread carefully with so he doesn’t dedicate too much of his mind or time to it - but Luca? He worships his girl, and he will spend any second possible at your side while still maintaining his regimented routine.

Lucas anxiety comes about time, it’s different than Carmys. Luca is always early, he has mastered knowing the very minute he has to be out of bed and taking the 5 steps to the boat houses bathroom and cutting the water on that takes 3 minutes to come to a comfortable temperature. But until then? He is kissing your cheeks, your nose, your hairline, your neck, your chest, your stomach, your thighs. He’s snuggling you close and whispering how much he loves you, and his plans for the day even if he well knows you’re dead to the world still.

He would work extra minutes and seconds into his morning routine between brushing his teeth and getting dressed and styling his hair he would come and give you a sweet kiss to the head or lips, sometimes gently caressing your hair if you stirred from the action.

But this particular morning, Luca was elated, but a bit confused, to see you looking right back at him when he hit stop on his alarm after the second beep. “Morning, trying to come for my gig as being the early riser in this relationship?” His voice was deep and rich with sleep. He pulled you in, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your back soothingly which caused your eyes to flutter shut at the lovely feeling. He was so warm, he smelt so distinctly him. You nuzzled your face into his bare chest, planting gentle kisses on the skin

“The universe is against me. I feel tired but I’ve been laying with my eyes closed for hours, this is helping though- but I don’t want it to now cause I love you and wanna talk” you said and he chuckled a bit, kissing the top of your head again and giving you a loving squeeze

“I love you, darling. What’s on your mind, mm?” He asked and gently pets your hair. You nuzzle into his neck, a small smile on your lips.

“I’m not telling you cause you work too hard as it is” you said and he smiled himself, snorting a laugh

“So you’re thinking of something you want to eat, got it. Well what is plaguing that pretty mind baby I may have some spare time today” he resumed his gentle back rub, his short nails running along your skin and giving you goosebumps where he touched.

“Lemon posset” you admit and he hums, pressing another kiss to your forehead this time

“And why do you think that’s so hard love? I’ll bring you some back later.” He said and you groan

“Luca you work 10 hours today, I’d rather you be home with me then making me some stupid intricate craving”

“Hush, I can work it out love don’t worry. Just gotta move some things around it’ll be no big deal”

And yeah he’s gonna be home early, with dessert and dinner - just to prove a point that he knows how to manage his time

[sk8terhoons]

Sunghoon fic recs

@asahicore Cherry Pits

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Dilf!hoon x younger!fem reader, neighbors to lovers

Word Count: 12.9k

Synopsis: Your alarmingly empty bank account forces you to find a last-minute summer job so that you can afford a trip with your friends. The extremely handsome customer that comes into the store just happens to be a young single dad who's renovating the old house next to yours. The tension that settles between the two of you as you start helping him fix up his house soon becomes unbearable, but it's all one-sided anyway, right?

More fics under cut!

@asahicore Stupid In Love

This fic contains smut

Pairing: hoon x fem reader, childhood best friends to lovers

Word Count: 22.1k

Synopsis: One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.

@jaylaxies To All The Boys I’ve Fucked Before, To The Boy: Who Took Me To Prom

This fic contains smut

pairing: Best friends brother!hoon x fem reader

Word Count: 19.6k

Synopsis: Prom—the last event of senior high school was right around the corner, but the only person who you wanted to go with had rejected you for his own reasons, leaving you upset and unwilling to attend the event. however, your best friend, mina, was hellbent on making you attend it and being a sweetheart, she ends up persuading her brother, sunghoon, to be your date for the night.

@zreamy SPF 23

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader

Word Count: 31.8k

Synopsis: For as long as you can remember, your summers have been much the same, largely spent in your hometown, relaxing by the local pool. when you get back home this summer, things seem like they'll go the same way, until you get to the pool that is — when did the lifeguard get so hot?

@neo-percs Deep End

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Rich!Sunghoon x fem!reader

Word Count: 36.6k

Synopsis: After saving Sunghoon from drowning at the local pool; y/n offers to give him swimming lessons which leads into way more than expected.

@simpjaes Night Shift

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Boss/ Cam boy!hoon x afab reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Synopsis: Sunghoon, a keen and professional man between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM. ServiceKing, a faceless and proud man between the hours of 9 PM to 12 AM. Sunghoon’s secret night-life has nothing to do with the faces he sees day after day...until it does.

Or the one where you pay for a one on one call with a faceless cam guy you’ve been watching for a little while, and the next day your boss is avoiding you like the plague. 

@simpjaes Day Shift

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Boss/ Cam boy!hoon x afab reader

Word Count: 14.5k

Synopsis: After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesn’t appear to be nearly enough time to erase what’s happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided.

Or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isn’t an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy. 

@jlheon Love Exists, I’m Full Of It

This fic contains smut

Pairing: Situationship!hoon x fem reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Synopsis: When park sunghoon breaks up with his long time girlfriend he needs something to get his mind off her, you happen to be the perfect distraction : a girl who’s naive and has never had a boyfriend

My 1st fic rec list! I hope you all love it, I worked super hard to pick my favs so i hope you all enjoy!

[featherandferns]

daylight - three

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 3 of the daylight series | read part 2 here

content warnings: alcohol

word count: 2k.

blurb: after finding a box of memories, you jump at the chance to go fishing with JJ. There, you open up a little more about your life in Vancouver.

You come downstairs at the sound of your dad calling your name. You find him standing by a stack of cardboard boxes, labelled with marker pen scribbles. 

“Can you take your stuff upstairs? That other delivery van finally arrived. Only a God damn month late,” your dad grumbles. 

“Sure thing,” you say.

It takes about ten minutes to lug your boxes upstairs. Closing your bedroom door, you begin to unpack. Most of them are full of clothes and accessories: caps and bags that you probably don’t even need, since you didn’t miss them in their lack. Another box has school things, in case you need your old notes for the next year of classes. The final box is full of miscellaneous items. Childhood memorabilia and wads of photographs and photo albums. Stupid dress-up gear from costume parties you and Mimsy had attended. You snap a selfie dressed in the get-up and send it to Mimsy.

A shoebox at the bottom has you taking pause. You take it out and set it on your bed, opening it. Your heart stops when you see what’s inside. 

How could you forget?

The box is piled high with various things, and at the top is a journal. It's frayed on the corners from excessive wear and tear. It was the journal you had kept when dating your ex boyfriend, Tyler. You take it out and promptly put it to the side like it’s coated in anthrax. There is absolutely no urge to flick through the pages and relive every moment of that tumultuous, tortuous affair. Below the journal is a t-shirt that belonged to him, then an impressive stack of photos. Happy photos. Smiling photos. Photos that are mostly of just the two of you, always in one or the other’s bedroom. Any photos taken in public have the two of you standing apart, acting as though you don’t know the feel of the other’s skin. There's a birthday present he gave you; a card; a ‘love letter’ that had made you so happy at the time, and only bitter in the aftermath. In fact, all of it made you bitter. All emotions led back to anger, and betrayal, and hurt. 

And yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to get rid of it. Even now, even still, in a different country, on a different coast: you feel the need to keep it. Treasure it like a cursed artefact. 

You’re happy to be taken out of your nightmarish thoughts by the ping of your phone. You pick it up, expecting a text from Mimsy, only to be surprised at finding one from JJ. 

I’m bored.

Smiling, glad for the distraction, you reply. 

Hi bored. 

Nerd. Srsly tho. I wanna do something. 

You turn your back on the box of memories.

Wanna go to the cinema?

Hello I’m poor??? U acting mad expensive rn

Laughing, you roll your eyes and offer something that you know JJ would never refuse.

Fishing then?

Dope. Pick u up in 5.

You kill the time waiting for JJ by tidying away the last few belongings. The items are returned to the shoe box and hidden under your bed following the philosophy out of sight, out of mind.

The honk of a car horn outside has you grabbing your backpack and heading for the door. JJ sits behind the steering wheel, staring off into the distance as he mindlessly taps along to the beat of the Kendrick song he’s playing. You whistle as you approach and he smiles when he spots you. 

“Where we fishing?”

“Found a good spot the other day,” JJ says, setting off once you’re in the passenger seat. “Caught some good bass and stuff. Spotted bass too.”

“Sounds good,” you hum. You kick your feet up onto the dashboard and pick at the peeling nail varnish on your fingertips. 

There’s no need to fill the quiet of the campervan as JJ drives. You eye him in your peripheral as he concentrates on the road.

His resting face sits with a set jaw and you suddenly imagine him to clench his jaw in his sleep. Lips somewhere between a frown and smile, his eyes are somewhat hooded. His neck is so attractive. You never thought necks could be attractive before, but seeing it tense and relax when he swallows and sighs, the way the skin teases over the Adam’s apple...it's tortuous. You can just picture stretching your hands around it, scratching against the skin of his jugular with your nails, marking his pretty flesh with love bites…

“What’s up?”

“Huh?”

“You lookin' at me. Something up?” JJ asks in all his innocence. 

Your dart your eyes to the road ahead. “Uh, no, no. I’m good.”

“A'right,” he says. Back to quiet. You don’t dare spare another glance at him for the rest of the ride. 

JJ parks up on a quiet country road. You both get out of the car and load up with fishing gear and snackage. JJ takes the cooler, biceps flexing, and the fishing rods. Lugging two collapsable chairs on either shoulder, you follow him with a box of bait and your backpack in hand. He guides you up a dirt path, overgrown with ivy and stinging nettles. A dilapidating jetty comes into view and you’re happy to see it empty. You both take to setting up shop. You weren’t lying to him, the first time that you met: you didn’t much care for fishing. But honestly, you’d take any excuse to spend time with JJ. It’s pathetic to admit to yourself that he could ask you to help him drain a sewer and you’d say yes without a second thought. 

Cracking open a beer, you offer it to JJ. 

“Thanks,” he smiles.

You open your own and the two of you cheers before taking a swig. It’s crisp and cooling in the muggy summer sun. He hands you a prepared fishing rod and you lean against the shaky railing beside him. He’s dug out his cap: the red one that he wore the first time you met. It shadows his face beautifully. You look out to the water and admire the calming view. A sea bird darts across the sky in the distance and you half want to grab for your camera. 

“You have good fishing in Vancouver?” he asks. 

“S’alright,” you reply. “My uncle loves fishing. He used to take me to this spot where you could catch trout as long as your leg.”

“Fuck off,” JJ laughs. 

“I’m serious! Swear to God, I thought this thing was gonna eat me!”

The two of you laugh. Your smile turns solemn at the memory. It hurts to think about your life in Vancouver. It feels like it was years ago, hazy like a lucid dream, distorted with nostalgia. Never before have you been more grateful for facetime or else you might forget Mimsy’s voice.

The day stretches on with the two of you passing drinks and chips and refreshing bait. The bucket starts to fill with some catches. Nothing impressive. Somehow you both end up sitting in your chairs. One hand remains on the rod, waiting for a bite and holding it steady. JJ is reclined in his chair somewhat precariously, feet up on the bannister, weighed down by heavy, black boots. 

“I don’t think I ever asked,” JJ says, catching your attention. He looks to you. “Why’d you move to Kildare anyway?”

“Well, you know the old saying,” you reply. “If at first your marriage fails: pick up and move country, eh?”

“Ah,” JJ replies, chuckling a little. “Is the marriage fixed, then?”

“Hell no,” you snort. “They fucking hate each other. Hardly talk. I think my dad just wanted an excuse to move back to North Carolina.”

“He from here?”

“Yeah, he was born here. I have a ton of family out here too. Well, not in Kildare but in Carolina.”

“Damn,” JJ mumbles. 

“It’s typical of my dad though. He's selfish like that. I mean, it's kind of messed up, don't you think? Dragging me away from my friends. From my life.” Your anger sparks suddenly. “You know, he didn’t even ask me if I wanted to leave. Because why the fuck would I want to leave? My entire life was there! Everything was there!”

JJ doesn’t speak. You catch yourself. Taking a shaky breath, you close your eyes, embarrassed for the outburst. 

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I just…I haven’t really talked about it to anyone yet.”

“You’re good,” JJ says. You look at him to find a small, reassuring smile. “I get it. Parents suck.”

You laugh, shaking your head. Leaning your head back, eyes slipping closed, you agree. “Yep. Parents suck.”

“I’m sorry, by the way,” JJ quietly adds. You open your eyes on him. “That you had to leave Vancouver.”

“Thanks,” you smile, eyes sad. “I know I’ll find a way to be happy here. But right now, I just miss home. I miss Mimsy.”

“Mimsy?”

“My best friend,” you clarify. “She’s the fucking best. Completely unhinged. Obsessed with true crime and conspiracy theories. Zero filter.”

“She sounds like fun.”

“She is. She’d get along with you guys great,” you say. “It’s hard though. The time difference and everything sucks. And we talk a lot now but I’m just worried about the future. Like, what if it gets too much, with the distance, and we get busy and drift apart. She’s been in my life since I was like six years old. I guess it freaks me out to think about her not being there, you know?”

JJ nods. “Guess that’s like me and John B. We’ve been best friends since kindergarten. I can’t imagine how it would feel being, like, six hours apart.”

“It sucks,” you chuckle. “And it’s not just that, either. I feel like I have unfinished things in Vancouver. It’s like I left before I could close the book, if that makes sense.”

“What kind of things?” JJ wonders. He shifts in his seat to face you better. Neither of you are paying much attention to fishing now. 

“Romance things,” you say with a joking roll of your eyes. 

JJ’s brows raise. “You leave a man behind or something?”

“Man is a generous word,” you snigger. “But yeah, sort of. We weren’t together anymore - I mean, maybe we weren’t together ever - but I never got all the answers I wanted…I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“Most things are,” JJ hums. You have to agree there. Nothing is ever clear-cut, black-and-white. At least not in your experience. “So, what’s the story? He cheat on you.”

“No. Least, I don’t think so,” you say. Shaking your head, you shoot him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I don’t think I really wanna talk about it.”

“You’re good,” JJ says for a second time that day. He looks down to watch his thumb stroking the condensation on the side of his can. Tactfully avoiding your request, he then asks, “where you, like, in love with him?”

“Yes. God knows why, but, yeah,” you reply with a self-deprecating laugh. “Have you ever been in love?”

JJ squints against the sun as he looks out to the horizon. “Dunno, really. I guess you’d know if you had been in love, right? Like you’d know what that feels like.”

“Yeah, you would,” you return. 

Looking at you, JJ only hesitates a moment before he asks, “what does it feel like? Being in love?”

Smiling wistfully, you reply honestly. “It’s the worst feeling in the world.”

read part four here!

taglist:

@princessuki21 | @psyches-reid | @heybank | @avengersgirllorianna | @rrosiitas | @yourmumstoy | @jjsfavgirl | @void21 | @fictionalcomforts | @gsp420 | @redhead1180 |

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[4:59 pm]

(cw: spoilers for Bridgerton season 3, description of a steamy scene from Bridgerton)

You had been waiting two long years for season 3. A season that for you and many other was highly anticipated since you already knew the characters that were going to fall in love. You were excited to see the shenanigans the Bridgertons would get up to, if Eloise and Penelope would med their friendship, and how Anthony and Kate would act like a married couple. You were beyond excited.

You'd gotten all your errands and some chores done earlier in the day just so you could have your afternoon free to watch part 1 of season 3.

You'd made it all the way through episode 1 with no distractions. Then came episode 2 and Jaehyun had lingered behind you while watching Colin "train" Penelope. 10 minutes later he was still standing behind you and asking questions. You were frustrated, sure, but you still paused the show to explain the Bridgerton lore. And 5 minutes later you were restarting part 1 for Jaehyun to watch from the beginning.

Now, here you were on the last episode of part 1 at the edge of your seat. You felt your heart ache for Penelope, Lord Debling really could have been a nice match for her. Was she in love with him? No, but what else was Colin doing besides being stupid?

"Wait!" You heard from the screen.

Jaehyun gasped, "it's Colin!"

"Shut up! I can't hear!"

The door of the carriage was pulled open and sure enough, there stood Colin. Jaehyun turned up the volume and you leaned forward, closer to the screen. Something big was going to happen, you knew it.

You bit your lip as you watched Penelope snap at Colin, ugh she was so right. You rolled your eyes as he gave his reasoning, as if she owed him anything. And then feelings! Colin has feelings for Penelope!

You throw yourself back and kick your legs with excitement, he likes her! Your heart soared hearing his confession, god, every confession in every season was amazing.

"But I'd very much like to be more than friends," Penelope breathed heavily.

Jaehyun yelled excitedly, "they're kissing! Again!"

You watched with your jaw dropped as the kissing got steamier and steamier, then the kissing led down her chest, and woah- exposed shoulder.

"What is his hand doing?! What is he doing!?" Jaehyun yelled with his hands in his hair, stressed but intrigued.

Penelope's jaw drops and the music peaks, Jaehyun gasps, "People can see! There's a window right there!"

Your own hand is over your mouth, watching in absolute shock as Jaehyun watches Colin... explore beneath Penelope's dress until the carriage comes to a stop in front of the Bridgerton house.

You both sit in silence, trying to process what you watched, taking in the words and the rest of the scene, too in shock to laugh at Colin's horniness.

Colin pulls Penelope's strap back onto her shoulder and your jaw drops once again. You can hear Jaehyun's surprised whisper, "his fingers."

Colin steps out of the carriage and you're confused, eyebrows furrowed, until Colin says, "Are you going to marry me or not?"

You squeal and Jaehyun stands in shock before pausing the show to gather his thoughts.

"That's it? He kisses the girl 2 times, has a sex dream, and gets under her dress and he wants to marry the girl? All the seasons are like this?"Jaehyun asks out loud.

You think it over, "um, similar but more angst."

"More?! What are we doing? Put them on!"

[bugs1nmybrain]

Mommy's Boy: Shigaraki x Fem!Reader~Mommy Kink~☆•°♡☆°●♡

As always, Minors do NOT interact!

I remember saying how I thought writing Shigaraki fucking you in front of Dabi was out of pocket, but I've pretty much thrown all humility out the window at this point. Upsidaisy.

Updated: Nov 26th, 2023

Traits about the reader: Medium to big boobs, curvy, thick thighs, implied to be either shigaraki's age (20 in this) or older, implied to be on birth control, bad at playing video games

Notes: NSFW/smut, mommy kink, sub/switch Shigaraki, fem reader, shy and moody Shigaraki???????, Shigaraki loves boobs, awkward reader and Shigaraki interactions, spanking (reader receiving), tit sucking, vulgar language, mutual masturbation, slight degrading, a sprinkle of praise, hair pulling (Tomura receiving), no condom, reader and Shigaraki play GTA 5 in the beginning, kinda cringe tbh, season 4 era Shigaraki

I know each of my fics always end right after sex I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to get better at some plot after sex because I feel like it's so cliché.

"You suck!"

Unfortunately for you and Shigaraki, there was only one controller for the PlayStation. He had wanted a gaming date but there wasn't much you two could do together, so you had compromised by taking turns on GTA (story mode by your request).

Tomura watched as you continued to knock into every car in your line of view. You'd back out of a car you had hit only to knock into another. When you finally made it to a mission that required shooting, you were doing halfway ok, but only because of the auto-aim mechanics to be completely honest. However, the cops just showed up, and now it was you (Trevor), Franklin, and Lamar against a shit load of police. Shigaraki hoped and prayed you'd start catching on, but you just kept on dying.

"GTA 5 is easy! How are you fucking up this bad?" Shigaraki ponders in a near-genuine tone.

"It's been a while! I haven't played for maybe over 6 months."

"It's not even hard whatsoever, I don't get this. Give me a turn."

"You played like 4 minutes ago."

"Yes, but you're bad at this and it's making my head hurt. Give me that stupid controller," Tomura, without your input, snatches the controller out of your hand and plows through the mission for you with ease. You slouch on his shoulder and mope, your feelings hurt by your own pathetic gaming abilities.

"Maybe we should do something that we could both do. Why do I want to just sit here and watch you play GTA all night?" You whine. Shiggy responds with an annoyed groan.

"Take it then! It's not my fault you're shit at this. Maybe try a strangers and freaks mission," Shigaraki drops the controller on your lap. You breathe in and set your waypoint to Vinewood Boulevard. Tomura observes you drive so cautiously that it's almost worse to watch you drive so slow than to smash into cars.

Tomura sighs in agitation and slumps his chest against your back, wrapping his arms around your soft tummy and burying his face in the crook of your neck. He hugs you tight as he watches you fuck up your game and turns his attention away from your awful playthrough to something that he'd consider you to take more pride in.

Tomura glances at the v-neck of your black shirt that looked like his, only short-sleeved. He allows himself to look at your tits while you're distracted. He's had some pretty good self-restraint today, he'd say, as the push-up you were wearing was driving him fucking crazy. They looked so hot and the complexion of your skin gave them a lovely glow. He felt like a pathetic little bitchboy, wanting nothing more than to touch them and bury his face in your tits. It was a good thing you were so distracted by GTA because he was scoping the terrain out to plot his next move.

He felt embarrassed. The two of you have had sex many times, but he still felt annoying to want to appreciate your tits. Would he seem like a little bitch with mommy issues or something? Oh well, you were his girlfriend, right? If you didn't like it then you'd need to find a better toy to play with, though the thought fueled his blood because Shigaraki hadn't ever found anyone that took interest in him like you did.

There was no helping it. He was already growing a boner and you were already feeling it press against your ass as you sat in his lap.

"Tomura?"

He felt a shock surge through him, knowing full well why you were calling his name. So he didn't answer.

"Tomura, are you okay?" You giggle teasingly.

Don't do this to him, he thought. This was supposed to be a simple gaming night. But who was he kidding? 9 times out of 10 your dates ended in kind of sex.

"What gives you the impression that I'm not?" He says in an embarrassed tone. Was he feeling flustered? Cutie.

"Because something's poking me."

"Haha."

You laugh, a little surprised that he's not trying to come back with some cocky monologue like he always does. You turn around to face him to see the cutest scowl on his face. He's clearly frustrated and the boner in his pants only makes it cuter. You take it upon yourself to straddle his lap, resting on his thin frame with your thick thighs. The outline of your crotch presses against his bulge and he grunts in response.

"What's wrong, Tomura?" You coo at him and begin stroking his hair tenderly. You're going to kill him, he swears. His gaze stays stuck on the TV screen as your player stands outside of the Los Santos hospital, but you turn his face to look at you instead. "Why are you being so moody?"

"Your tits have been distracting me all day," he pouts with a flustered face, his eyes now making their way toward your cleavage.

The immediate cackle you respond with almost softens Shiggy's cock all the way, feeling insulted.

"I'm serious," he says with a grumpy voice.

"Really? Is that all, baby?" You smirk with a nurturing voice.

"Pretty much."

Taking Tomura's neck, you kiss his nape gently. He cups your hips with his hands, leaving some fingers up so as to not harm the only person who has both shown him love as well as not piss him off to no end (well, for the most part). You begin grinding on his cock which creates heavy, frustrated sighs from him.

You continue to play with Tomura's hair, messaging his scalp in between your fingers. He tilts his head backwards with a drawn-out whine as if he hasn't been touched in his whole life. That notion wasn't entirely false, before you Tomura hadn't received physical affection like this from anyone and assumed he never would because of his quirk. You were such a lucky catch for him. Maybe it was why he was hesitant to say his needs, he was scared he'd weird you out and that you'd ditch him.

Damn, when did he start caring about how somebody else would feel about his actions?

"What's wrong?" You ask caringly.

"I told you what's wrong."

"Oh, right. What can I do to make it better?"

"Mm.." Shigaraki stares at your chest and back up to you, hoping that you would pick up on his desires without him having to say it. He felt so cringy right now, like a little subby boy begging for access to your tits.

He gives up on trying to be nice when you continue to play dumb. You were doing it on purpose, for sure. A part of you loved seeing Tomura shy and polite like this, as he was usually so abrasive. He tugs on the V of your shirt and whispers in your ear, "are you too numb to get the idea?"

"And what's that?" You banter.

"Bitch. What am I supposed to tell you? That I want to suck on your tits?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Shut up!!"

"It's okay," You laugh. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I know you've got mommy issues."

"What of it? Is that a problem for you?"

"No," you giggle. "Do you need me to spoil you, baby?"

"Ew."

"I'm trying."

Tomura cackles, his broody demeanor. He squeezes your love handles and buries his face in your neck again.

"It's not my fault that you've got the body of a MILF. How am I supposed to react?"

"Wow, what a compliment."

"It is a compliment," Shigaraki snickers as he begins kissing your neck and down your chest. His hands travel from your love handles up to your waist, gripping like his life depended on it. "So, are you going to let me indulge or what?"

You giggle are stroke his long hair as he hums in question, embarrassed by his request, but somehow honored.

"Knock yourself out."

"Mmm, thank you mommy.."

"Oh my god you didn't just say that."

"Just roll with it."

Shigaraki takes a finger and tugs at your V-neck, but is disappointed at your bra. He reaches underneath to unclasp the back and yanks it out from your shirt. His attention focuses back on your tits. Tomura pulls your collar down to reveal one. He wastes no time and begins sucking tenderly. You can feel his cock growing more inside his pants, so you start grinding on the fabric, causing him to grunt while your tit is in his mouth.

Tomura pulls the other breast out from your shirt, taking a moment to gawk at them before going for the other. He teases your other nipple with his fingers. You hadn't realized how sensitive your tits really were as his tongue was flickering against your nipple causing a dripping arousal to seep through your underwear. You whine at the pleasure.

"Is this making you feel good baby?" You ask sultrily to Tomura. He responds with an eager "Mhm" and continues sucking. After what seemed like forever he lifts his head up and pulls your face down to kiss him, his saliva-coated mouth being a lovely adhesive between your lips.

"Your tits are so cute, mommy.."

"When did I consent to this mommy treatment?" You giggle.

"You're literally the one who told me I have mommy issues! Don't make me feel like shit for this."

"I'm not!" you laugh. "I'm just teasing."

You kiss him and continue to tug at his hair, "Does my baby boy need mommy to take good care of him?"

"Yes please.."

"Please, who?"

"Please mommy.."

"Mm.." You lift off of his lap and take your leggings and shirt off, leaving your full figure out for him. He puts up a finger to signal "wait" and reaches over to his bag on the floor and pulls out his special gloves. Fuck what would he do without them? He needs his hand condoms if he's gonna thoroughly make love with you.

"You're so sexy," he says, trailing his fingers to your wet cunt as he begins stroking your clit. You whimper in excitement and begin to pull down his pants. His cute cock slips out, standing proud with pre-cum already leaking out from the tip. As he continues toying with your pussy, you stroke his sensitive cock which creates lovely scratchy moans from his throat.

"God..that's it...," Shigaraki his horny, pulsing cock out on your clit, rubbing circles on it rapidly. You moan out lightly, grinding your clit against his fingers to create more friction. You rub his dick in fast as he submissively cries out in pleasure. Your clit twitches in familiar waves of pleasure once he begins sucking on your tit again.

"Is mommy gonna cum?" Tomura teases, releasing his mouth from your breast to only go to the other.

"Mhm!"

The look on his face when you began falling onto him as you came was unlike him. Tomura snickers in pride, pulling you in for a kiss while you kept stroking his cock.

"I think you deserve some privileges," you coo at him, and you sit on his lap yet again.

"I do? Have I been a good boy?"

"Mhm. Very good boy."

You circle your groin around Tomura's leaking cock as he whines out in pleading.

"Please, mommy..."

"Please mommy what?"

"Fuck me. Fuck me mommy, pleaaaase...."

With a pleasant hum in your throat, you reach down to rub Tomura's cock, then inserting it inside of your dripping cunt. Tomura groans loudly at your gooey, wet walls and attempts to push his cock deeper into you, begging for you to fuck him. To his satisfaction, to begin to bounce on his cock in rhythm, and Tomura swears you're going to drive him insane.

"Mm..does my baby boy like this? Does he feel good?"

"Fuck, yes...," Shigaraki moans. He watches intently as your tits bounce while you fuck him. He smacks your ass in frustration, shocking you.

"I guess I'm a bad boy, then. Are you gonna punish me?" He chuckles maniacally.

"Tomura, that wasn't very nice of you," you squeal, pulling at his hair in response.

Without speaking you begin bouncing on him in a quicker pace than before. Shigaraki holds around your waist tight as he thrusts, trying to savor every inch of your pussy. You were so fucking tight, but so wet too. Your cunt always made him leak, but tonight it was driving him mad.

"..fuck me...fuck me harder, mommy!"

"MmmMM! Fuck! God, mommy, you're gonna milk me.."

You oblige, hopping on him while you clench your walls, purposely trying to milk him.

"That's it, baby. Cum for me. Cum inside of mommy's pussy."

You definitely didn't have to tell him twice. Tomura sufficates himself into your neck as he holds you tight, fucking you until he finally cums deep. His orgasm is intense and long, as he continues to pump you full of cum for many seconds.

Panting and sweating, Shigaraki kisses you once more before you lift your pussy off of his cock, cum oozing out onto his lap. He snuggles in your arms and you stroke his hair. He whines from his cock that's still throbbing after his orgasm.

"Did that feel good, baby?" You ask with a nurturing tone, kissing his scrunkly forehead.

"Uh-huh...I don't know if I've ever came that hard."

"Mommy told you she'd take good care of you."

"Okay stop it. That shit is over and done with," he laughs and flicks your forehead. You rest your head down on his chest while he holds you tight, breathing heavily as he pets your skin.

"I love you," Tomura says and kisses your head as he yawns, sleepy from his orgasm.

"I love you too, Tomura."

"Next time Daddy's gonna have to do something special for you."

[deonsx]

If They Take Care Of You When You Get Sick

Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Nikolai

Dazai Osamu

He really is very cautious in taking care of his one and only bella, He will hug you and give you lots of kisses regardless of your sickness, we know how bad he is at cooking but what will he do in a situation where he has to cook right now?

He thought about ordering food but didn't think it would be healthy so he tried making soup on his own from the cooking videos he really gave him full attention just to look at you, he ditched his job

"My beautiful bella, if anything happens to you, I would never be able to live" He's a real drama creator “Osamu I'm fine you're exaggerating"

I can imagine him holding you in his arms and not letting you walk "My love I can walk" You were told to him, His eyes were squinting looking at you "Still I will take care of you in the best of circumstances"

While you were sleeping, the moonlight hit your face and he watched you sleep, his eyes searched everywhere, he couldn't believe that he had found that true love and that she was lying in his bed like an angel right now "My beautiful angel"

Chuuya Nakahara

He's truly a masterpiece and he's a master at these, I can tell you he's the only man with excellent taste. He cooks with show even when You sick, which makes you smile, She takes her temperature every 10 minutes, pays a lot of attention, water bag and many things, pills, injections, serums, they are all here just for you now

He does 2-3 jobs at the same time, when you don't have control at home, things are only balanced by his power. You offered to call a doctor to the house, but he refused, "I'm the one who wants to take care of you, no one else is needed"

Of course he doesn't care if you're sick to kiss you too, he just lays you on his lap and watches you sleep, You rested your head on his orange hair and you fell asleep with his beautiful harmonizing perfume "My princess, I will always take care of you"

Ranpo Edogawa

No matter how cute and frivolous your boyfriend is, everything stops when it comes to you "I'll give you candy if you get better dear" you laughed at what he said "Ranpo I'm not a kid"

"I'm sure you will love it my love"he left kisses on your head, stroked your hair with his hands and tried to tell you a fairy tale "Once upon a time a princess..." He chose a beautiful story to put you to sleep

He can be very distracted while he cooks because you are the reason for making the food here, if you leave the room he is in and try to do anything while he is cooking he will scold you "Where were you s / he while I was cooking" he really asked you with a stupid seriousness on his face

"My love I just went out on the balcony" Ranpo shook his head disapprovingly "My wisdom instinct tells me you stood up for the laundry" He's not really serious at all. "If you try to get up again, I'll have to tie you to the bed in handcuffs, honey, be nice"

Fyodor Dostoyevski

He may indeed be the most normal lover among them, but just because he's normal doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, But of course he was interested in your illness and he wasn't that indifferent. "You still have a high fever, you need to take medicine dear"

He wasn't the best at cooking, he only cooked when it was absolutely necessary, but he wanted the best for you and brought home a chef who never took his money into consideration, yet you know how rich he is "The chef will make you 4-5 different main courses, if you don't like any of them just tell me my love"

He also considered calling a doctor home but didn't want to put you at any risk afterward because he had too many enemies, He left his job halfway just for you and took the best precautions for your recovery He tried every hour to heal you with special pills and serums "I don't know if you have any medical experience?"you asked him with a laugh. "Just for you, my dear”

Nikolai Gogol

"Darling please don't die yet we'll live a long life with you" He said stroking and kissing you "Ohh I'm fine please let me mind my business" "This is not possible, my love, I hired servants for you.." he spoke to you "Servants??" As soon as you asked, the door of the house opened and two women and two men entered. "People here will take care of your food, cleaning and your illness."

Your eyes really opened in surprise, you were expecting something, but you didn't think that he would exaggerate everything so much, He did make you feel like you were a princess in a castle, he was constantly teleporting around the house bringing you a water bag, ice cloth and a lot of things

He told you about his childhood while you were lying on a bed and you memorized everything he said word for word, he was saying it to sleep you, but when he turned his head to you he saw that you were not sleeping "My beautiful love is still listening to me?”

Enjoy!

I want to write them more as a father the time he spends with his children and his wife

[www-loser-org]

Tulips and a Broken Clock

Pairing: Post-Scratch!Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Bookstore-Owner!Reader

MDNI 17/18+ ONLY

SMUT WARNING

A/N: Unfortunately, English is my first language, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! No use of y/n. This was inspired by a post prison Spencer fic called Hourglass by @nereidprinc3ss , it was so good and I loved the premise of it, so I decided to attempt my own.

Content Warnings: 17/18+ ONLY, MDNI, semi-canon Hotch, smitten!Hotch, time skips, not physically descriptive reader, physically descriptive Hotch, 1st person reader, protected sex, interchangeable use of cock and dick, oral sex (fem! receiving), missionary, fluff, angst, smut, use of pet names (darling, honey, baby, sir, counselor, captain, etc.), dirty talk, female is vocal, Hotch isn’t (not surprising), tit sucking, clit play, mention of real life events (COVID), I DO NOT OWN ANY CRIMINAL MINDS CHARACTERS, hair pulling (male receiving), scratching (no mentions of Scratch/Peter Lewis), “I need to know you’re real” sex, OC side characters (Mrs. Johnson), mentions of Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan, let me know if there’s more

Word Count: 5,375 words

The clock was ticking by very slowly today. Too slow. I kept eyeballing it as I anxiously waited for the seconds to pass by, silently wishing it would go by faster. It was just another day at the cozy bookshop I had opened a little over 2 years ago. The smell of vintage, used, and new books blended together in harmony with the mix of my lavender essence I had at the front. A few customers roamed amongst the shelves, skimming their fingers along the edges and quiet voices humming in the air. It was a slow day, by any means, but it was even slower as I waited impatiently for the clock to start my wonderful date night. I tapped against the book I was reading and watched as the seconds clock ticked by. Is it getting slower? I should have the mechanic check it out. But that’s so expensive, I can just do i-

“Are you okay there, sugarplum?” The customer asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I shook a little, but smiled nonetheless. “Yes, Mrs. Johnson. I’m just a little distracted today.” I replied, scanning her books. 

“What’s got your mind warped, sugar?” She asks, taking out her wallet.

“Well,” I started, bagging her order and tapping on the screen. “I have a date tonight.”

“Oooo, is it that attractive, serious, brunette man? He’s been looking at you with sparkles in his eyes.” She said.

I nodded, cheekily smiling. “Yes, we had gone out on a few dates over the past 4 months and I really like him.”

She chuckled. “That’s good, sugarplum. Have fun tonight, and be safe.” She warned, pointing an accusatory finger at me as she grabbed her bag and walked out. I giggled and waved at her. “I will, goodnight Mrs. Johnson!” 

I looked back at the clock and not even 5 minutes went by, the hour hand remaining on the 5. I sighed and pulled out my book again, attempting to continue my reading as the remaining customers wandered and filed out. Purchasing or window shopping. 

One by one, chapter by chapter, it soon became 6:30 and I was able to close for the night. I counted out the change and the register and placed them in the safe, putting in the code to ensure its safety. It was then I heard the bell go off in the store. I got up quickly and reached for the bat behind the door. “We’re closed!” I shouted into the store, my hand twisting the bat nervously. I stepped out and closed the door to the office, placing the bat in both my hands. Stupid! You should’ve just hid and called the police! I scolded myself. I walked out slowly, crouching slightly in case the intruder could see me. 

“It’s just me.” I suddenly heard from my right side. I swung the bat towards my intruder before hearing a yelp. “Aaron?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know we agreed on 7:30, but I was off earlier than expected and came over immediately.” He explained as I turned on the lights, revealing him in his work attire and holding a bouquet of tulips. Pink tulips. Aaron had fallen and was now laying in between the back reading chairs. He held out the tulips for me to take. I breathed the sweet scent of them and sighed, smiling sweetly at him before holding a hand down to him. He took it and I pulled him up. He stood up quickly and so close to me, I could feel his breath on my nose. I smiled and looked up into his eyes. “Hi.” I whispered.

“Hi.” He whispered back. He smiled and I stole a glance at his lips. He noticed and glanced at mine. Slowly, he leaned in, closing most of the gap between us until his were brushing mine, teasing mine. I decided to minimize the distance and close the gap, kissing him fully. The kiss was soft and sweet, slow enough to stop the world. I closed my eyes, heaven taking over my senses. I let go of his hand and reached to cup his jaw and his grazed my other hand that held the roses. The kiss stole our breath away as we’d break apart for a few seconds and return to the kisses. Heaven blessed this world as we continued to kiss each other in the back reading area of the store. 

Soon his hands caressed my waist as he gently pushed me back. I opened my eyes and pouted teasingly. “Don’t you have to get dressed?” Aaron asked.

I giggled lightly. “You’re right, I do. Give me 20 minutes. You can come up if you’d like. My place is just above the store if you wanna wash up and wait.”

He nodded and followed me upstairs. I led him into the living room, nodding my head as I told him to sit. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a clear vase for the flowers. I felt a presence behind me as he grabbed the vase with one hand. “I got this, it’s okay. Go get ready, don’t worry, we’re still early.” I smiled and kissed his cheek before briskly walking towards my bedroom. 

***

We were walking towards the restaurant doors, hand in hand, smiling at each other. Aaron had a reservation at 8 for the place. I was decked out in a white dress with white shoes, opposite of his dark suit and red tie. Aaron told the hostess his name and she then led us to our table. Aaron had let go of my hand briefly to pull out my chair. “And they say chivalry is dead.” I teased as I sat down, pulling my chair in slightly. 

“Well honey, I keep the chivalry's heart pumping.” He smiled before sitting down in his seat, pulling out his menu as I pulled out mine.

We spent hours there, just talking, laughing, and smiling overall. My heart fluttered at every little thing Aaron had done. From asking the waiter for a refill for my water to asking me little questions about my shop. Whether it be the workload, the stock of books, or even the customer shenanigans, I understood that he cared. I also discussed my past life, parts I never really discussed with anyone else, how I never kept in contact with my parents because their dreams for me were different from mine, how my fiance died in a car crash, how hard it was to start up another small business bookshop, etc. We also discussed some of his old cases. They were brutal, not brutal enough for nightmares, but enough to scare me a little. He had told me about his late ex-wife, Haley, and his son Jack, who was with the babysitter tonight. He spoke highly of her, mentioning how though they divorced, she had always understood his job and odd hours. He stated how she had aggressive opinions against it, but it was understandable given the circumstances and the effects on the relationship. I reached out for his hand and grasped it softly, hoping to comfort him. He explained that his job is what got her killed, how a serial killer named George Foyet had shot and killed Haley. He also talked about Jack and how tough it was to raise him with his job and how much help Jessica, Haley’s sister, had helped out when watching Jack when Aaron had a case. I nodded in understanding, allowing him to continue his stories throughout the night. 

Later that night, he walked me home. He held an arm around my waist as we slowly walked the path to my home. I adorned his black trench jacket and his tie was loosened. We shared whispers of little things that had happened today, swapping little stories with each other as the wind brushed around us. 

Once we reached the front door of the store, we stopped. I looked at him and turned to fully face him. “You can say no, but do you wanna head up with me?” I asked hesitantly with hopeful eyes. 

He eyed upstairs before closing his eyes, groaning quietly. “I would love to, honey. But I forgot that the babysitter doesn’t do nights.”

I nodded, slightly disappointed. “It’s alright. I understand. Besides, we had that other time a few weeks ago.”

He chuckled before pulling me in close, kissing my forehead. “I’m really sorry, sweetheart. I promise, I’ll make it up to you next week. I’ll push Jack to have a sleepover or something.” He looked into my eyes, guilt glossing over the surface. “I’ll think of something, I swear.”

I smiled before leaning more into him. “I know you will, Hotchner. You always do.” I kissed him. And then I kissed him again. And then I leaned in for another kiss, brushing his lips with mine. He laughed lightly at the trick and held my jaw in his hands before leaning in and kissing me slowly, closing his eyes. I closed mine as I grabbed his torso and pulled him closer to me.

We eventually let go and breathed in the fresh air. “Good night, darling.” Aaron whispered, letting go.

“Good night, Captain.” I replied, unlocking and opening the door. Once I entered, I immediately went upstairs before realizing that I still had his jacket. I placed it on the coat rack and took a picture of it, sending it to Aaron. You forget something? I texted him. 

He replied, Keep it, save it for our next date.

I smiled before replying, Ok ;). My heart buzzed as I thought of all the possibilities of our next date. I was so excited. I think I like him a little more than I thought. 

***

The next date never came. In fact, there were only a few texts exchanged before Aaron completely ghosted me. A 44 year old man with PTSD and a 11 year old son ghosted me. I scoff at the fact less than I cry over the fact. I thought we were going somewhere with this. I thought we were lovers at that point. I guess I was wrong. I was still managing my bookshop, as usual. From 9 am to 8 pm, customers came and went, buying books, selling books, etc. The pandemic made it hard for the store to survive. I reopened the store as soon as it was allowed, following all the regulations and rules in hopes that I could sell more books and keep the store on its feet. However, during the pandemic, my late grandmother had caught COVID and had died, leaving me an inheritance that kept the store alive and thriving. That and the coffee bar I had installed along with the 9 am to 6 pm barista, who gets paid separately and pays rent on the space.

The tulips from my last date with Aaron sit on the desk, wilted and dried out. I kept them there out of hope, no matter how many times my friends had told me to get rid of them and no matter how many dates I went on, no one could compare to Aaron. It’s silly and stupid, that after 8 years of him disappearing, I still had hope he would come back for his jacket. But he didn’t. And so the tulips were one of the good memories I had with Aaron. 

Sighing, I looked at the clock and saw that it had not moved since noon. I checked the time on my computer and saw that time had sufficiently passed. It was 6:52 and I knew I had to get ready to close. Looking around, I saw the only person left was Mrs. Johnson in the back reading area. I smiled before getting up and tapping her shoulder lightly. “Mrs. Johnson, it’s almost closing time. Would you like me to ring you up?”

“Oh, yes please, sugarplum. Just the one, please.” She replied, holding out one book, Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan as I helped her up.

“Good book?” I ask, walking up to the register and ringing her up.

“Oh, it’s great! Reminds me of my husband, Richard, and I,” She smiled fondly. “Falling back in love after thinking we fell out of it.”

“That’s sweet, Mrs. Johnson. I’ll have to check it out myself.” I smiled back.

She nodded, glancing at the flowers. “Don’t lose hope, dear.”

I solemnly smiled. “Good night, Mrs. Johnson.”

She nodded in reply and walked out of the store. I followed behind her and started to pull in the outside coffee tables and chairs, wiping them down as I brought them in. I locked the door, making sure the door didn’t budge. I wiped down all the shelves and the register area, placing the cleaning items under the desk. I glanced up and saw the clock. Snapping my fingers, I pulled out a drawer in the register desk and grabbed a couple batteries along with a screwdriver. I grabbed a ladder and opened it out. Stepping up the ladder, I grabbed the clock off the screw in the wall. I stepped back down the ladder when I heard a knock at the door. Stopping my movements, I placed the clock down on a nearby shelf before walking out into the main area. Looking through the glass, my breath stopped. His back was turned to me, but I knew it was him. Aaron Hotchner.

He was holding white tulips and anxiously looking around. I walked closer to the door, my eyes trained on him and his stature. He turned around and our eyes met. Slowly, I walked over to the door. My hands shook as I slowly pressed the handle bar of the door. I pushed the door open and looked back up at him. His eyes stared back into mine. He looked different. More rugged features on his face. He had grown out his beard and was more fit in. He was wearing much more casual wear, no suits. He was wearing an open blue button down with a white shirt and jeans, sneaker clad. I slowly reached a hand up to his face before cupping his cheek. He leaned in a little to my hand. I gasped quietly before caressing more of his face. His eyes were glazed with tears, reflecting mine. “You’re really here.” I confirmed, tears slowly falling from my eyes. 

“Yes. And I’m so sorry.” He replied, sincerity in his voice.

I shook my head. “Shut up.” I grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him in for a kiss. I closed my eyes as he reciprocated immediately. He wrapped his arms around my waist, careful for the flowers. This gave me the opportunity to pull him closer to me, wrapping my hands around his neck. His beard tickled my chin and tears flavored the kiss. I pulled away with my head still against his, a quiet sob wracking my throat. “You’re really here.” I said again, more breathily than the first time. My eyes were still closed because I feared that if I opened them, he would be gone again. “I’m really here.” He confirmed, as if he had heard my thoughts. I laughed lightly before opening my eyes. He was already looking at me, quiet tears flowing down his face. I kissed him again, much softer than the first time. 

I kicked out my foot and pushed the door more open while pulling him inside by his neck. As I pulled him inside, the kisses got more desperate as we swerved towards my cash desk. Aaron placed his hands on either side of the desk, placing the flowers down on the counter. I pulled him closer, molding our bodies as close as possible, grinding against his clothed dick. His hands gripped the desk counter, knuckles turning white at my movement. He groaned into my mouth, which sent shivers down my back. He pulled away first, both of us gasping for breath. “Wait.” He said and I paused, opening my eyes and looking at his. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

I placed my hand against his mouth. “Aaron, I’m positive. You’re alive and I hate you for that and I want to understand why. But right now, I need you to fuck me like you promised. I need to know you’re still here and you won’t leave again.”

He shook his head, eyes running crazy. He removed my hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“And Jack?”

He chuckled, reminiscence in his eyes. “Jack is almost 19 years old and in college. I’m pretty sure we’re fine.”

“Okay, just double checking.” I confirmed. He tapped my hips. I immediately understood and jumped, him catching me. I placed a hand around his shoulder and patted his chest with the other. “Why don’t we take this to my room.” I said.

“Absolutely.” He replied. He then walked as quickly as possible towards the office door, opening and closing it while still holding me. He walked us up the stairs and put me down once we reached the living room. I grabbed his face and pulled him towards mine, heavy breaths mingling with one another. I pulled him in for another hot kiss before my hands moved to push the button down off “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” He replied, desperately, allowing the garment to fall onto the ground. He fiddled with the hem of my own shirt, teasing my skin. “Is this okay?” He asked, raising a brow.

“God, yes.” I replied, lifting my arms. He removed the shirt and pulled me into him by my hips. His lips sought mine out and I followed the suit, kissing him deeper. I kicked off my shoes and he did his. I pulled him by his neck into my bedroom, the door pushing open with our force. I let go of his lips and gasped for air, falling back into my queen bed. I pushed myself all the way up to my pillows, curling my finger to tease him towards me, smiling cheekily. He followed me up, lips kissing up my skin from my jean clad hips. My hands sought his hair as I basked in the heat of his lips. He reached my bra and pulled it down enough to reveal my nipples. They hardened at the cold air and at his movements. He kissed each one teasingly. I watched him with bated breath. His eyes bore back into mine as he proceeded to take my right nipple in his mouth, sucking sweetly and swirling his tongue. I moaned at the contact, grabbing his hair. He continued his mantra of sensuality, taking moments between suckling and swirling his tongue. His right hand twisted and flicked my other nipple. The movements alone had me moaning at the contact and pulling him closer into me. He switched to the opposite side, making sure to give the second nipple just as much attention as the first. I let out another moan at the switch, leaning my head back and shutting my eyes. He continued this mantra as much as he did the first one until both nipples were perked and red from the attention. His trail of kisses reached my neck as he sucked bruising kisses on my neck. His lips reached mine and he pressed deep, hot kisses on my lips. He teased his tongue, prodding at my lips and I opened my mouth. His tongue and taste invaded my senses, he tasted of cinnamon vanilla as I explored more, fighting him for dominance. He won, as usual, taking over all my senses, smell, taste, touch, you name it, he owned it. 

His fingers tapped the waistband of my jeans. He let go of my swollen lips with a gasp. “Is this okay?”

“Please.” I whispered.

“Huh? I didn’t hear that darling. You need to speak up for me, darling girl.” Aaron teased

“Please, Aaron.” I pleaded louder, lifting my hips to meet his. 

He chuckled. “So impatient.” He kissed my jaw. “So needy.” He kissed my neck, trailing his kisses back down until they reached my belt. His fingers fiddled with the buckle, opening the belt. His fingers unbuttoned my pants and he pulled the zipper down, easily pulling the pants down. I lifted my hips off the bed to give him more access to pull the jeans off. After he pulled my pants off, I reached around my back and unclasped my bra, throwing it off to the side. Aaron positioned himself right in front of my entrance, licking his lips as if he were starved. He looked up at my eyes from his position. “May I?” He asked gently against my pussy, ever the gentleman. 

I nodded. “Yes, please, Aaron.” I pleaded. 

He obeyed, chuckling slightly. He pulled down my panties and groaned when he saw how wet I had gotten. He looked completely enamored with my pussy, watching how it glistened and clenched, waiting for him. I felt him breathing at the entrance and felt my walls clench around nothing. I made a small noise from my throat. “Please sir, I need you.”

Aaron’s eyes lit up and he smirked. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. I got you.” His tongue reached out and licked a big stripe against my pussy. I gasped at the sudden contact but lifted my hips nonetheless. He wrapped his (big, beefy) arms around my thighs and grounded my body against my bed. He pulled my lower half towards his mouth, licking his way into my entrance. I moaned and gasped at the feeling, allowing him in. His tongue licked stripes on and inside my pussy, varying in patterns and paces. He moved one hand from my thigh and prodded one finger inside. I felt it slide in and moaned at the contact, leaning my head back and shutting my eyes. His finger pumped in and out in a slow rhythm as he licked stripes up and down my labia. 

After a few more pumps, Aaron added another finger inside my entrance. He moved his tongue up from its position and swirled it around my clit. I gasped at the sudden change and grabbed his hair, pulling slightly. He groaned a little and it sent vibrations up my body, letting moans fall out my mouth like a river. His mouth switched from swirling to sucking my clit. His fingers pumped in and out of my pussy. One of my hands was down grabbing his hair, pulling him closer to my pussy. My other hand was under my pillow, grasping the sheets of it and twisting. He sped up his fingers, pumping them in and out of me faster. I gasped at the change and moaned. His tongue swirled my clit until his thumb replaced it, circling it slowly. His fingers sped up as well as his thumb and it made me gasp, my thighs threatening to close in. “Oh shit, Aaron.” I moaned out.

“That’s it, darling. Say my name.” He replied, continuing his movements at the same pace. “Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.” I repeated, like a chorus, my moans and gasps making up the verse. His fingers were quickly working me up, closer and closer. “Oh my god, Aaron. Don’t stop.” I gasped out. He started leaving kisses over my thighs, stopping every few kisses to suck hickies into my thighs. “Please, don’t -fuck, don’t stop!” I pleaded, moving both hands to grip his hair, pulling slightly. The overwhelming pleasure of everything, his thumb, his fingers, his kisses, it all hit me as that knot twisted tighter in my stomach. “Oh fuck, I’m about to cum!” I let out, gasping and moaning, unable to stop myself. His fingers kept the pace but went harder and harder, making me gasp even more than before. “Oh fuck Aaron, I’m about to-” I was cut off when the knot broke in my stomach and I came with a moan. Aaron reached his head down, licking up every droplet like a man starved. His fingers continued to slowly fuck me through my orgasm, drawing it out until the first load was gone. I moved both of my hands to my forehead, catching my breath.

After he had finished, he brought himself back up to my face. “Breathe, darling. It’s okay.” He said. He kissed me softly on my cheeks and nose. I brushed my fingers through his hair and brought it to the back of his neck. I pulled him back to my lips and kissed him desperately. I moved my other hand down his chest and fiddled with the hem of his white shirt. He immediately understood, sitting up and taking it off. I moved my hands to his belt buckle and tried to get it off. He grabbed my hands and placed them above my head. “I know that you’re impatient, baby, but I gave you what you want-”

“Please Aaron, I want more.” I reply, lifting my hips to grind towards his. 

“First of all, it’s sir. Second of all, it’s going to be sir for the rest of tonight, or you’re not gonna cum. If you want anything, you ask. Are we clear?” He responded in a demanding tone.

“Yes, counselor.” I tested, smile spreading, testing him. He turned his head to the side curiously, smiling curving in his features. He chuckled, “I’ll allow it.”

Slowly, he let go of my wrists and sat back on his knees. I pulled my elbows up, positioning myself towards him. He unclasped his belt and pulled down his pants, leaving him in his white boxer briefs. I sat up and slowly reached for his cock, feeling out how hard he was. Aaron wrapped a hand around my wrist and pulled it away slowly. “No, not tonight,” He laid me back down and I wriggled to get more comfortable. He grabbed the spare pillow from beside me and tapped my hips. I obeyed and raised them. “Tonight’s all about you, my darling.” Aaron put the pillow under my hips and stripped himself of his boxer briefs. His dick was leaking with precum, the red tip begging for attention. I stared with my mouth agape. He was 6.5 inches and I knew I was in trouble. I had forgotten how big he was, 8 years time will do that to a person. He reached behind and pulled a condom from his pants pocket. He opened the package, pinched the tip of the rubber and rolled it down his cock. He looked at my face and caught me staring. Aaron chuckled and it caught my attention, changing my line of sight to look at his eyes. “Have you not been taken care of, baby? I’m sorry, I’m here now.” He said, teasing my pussy with his tip. I gasped at the contact, looking down at him holding his cock and where our bodies met. He hissed slightly. “God, you’re so wet.”

“Please sir.” I pleaded.

“Please what?”

“Please stop teasing.” I whined, slowly reaching a hand down to his dick. I reached down and gathered some slick from my pussy and rubbed it on Aaron’s dick, pumping it a couple times. He hissed again before fully grabbing his dick and slowly entered my pussy. I gasped at the stretch, not used to it like I was and closed my eyes, concentrating on relaxing. He leaned down and kissed my neck softly. “Just let me know honey. When you want me to move.” He whispered. 

Once he fully entered me, I moaned at the contact, taking time to adjust. Eventually, I whispered a small yes and Aaron started to thrust back and forth into me. I moaned at the contact as he groaned. Slowly he thrusted in and out of my pussy, taking one of my hands on his and placing it above my head. I moaned out at his thrusts as they hit my pussy deep and hard. Aaron grunted as he thrusted, the sexy sound spilling from his lips as he kissed my neck. I took my free hand and wrapped it around his neck and down his back, softly clawing at it as he moved. “Faster.” I whispered.

“What was that?” He asked in a teasing tone, hitting harder, causing me to yelp in surprise. 

“Please sir, faster.” I gasped out. He obeyed, moving his hips faster and harder, hitting that sweet spot. A high pitched moan left my lips as I clawed his back, my legs wrapped around his waist. He suckled more hickies into my skin, moving his hips faster. “Oh god, sir.” I called out, gasping at the pace of his thrusts. “Yeah? How do you feel, honey?” He teased. 

“So. Fucking. Good.” I replied in a gaspy, whiny tone. He moved my hand to his hair and moved his lips down towards my boobs, suckling more hickies down the trail. He latched his mouth around one of my nipples. His hips moved faster, the veins of his dick rutting pleasure through my walls. His tip continued to hit my spongy sweet spot, causing me to silently scream. My hand tightened on his hair, not pushing or pulling him anywhere, just tightening which caused him to groan. My other hand dug my nails into his shoulder blade, scratching and grabbing onto anything to ground me in my heavenly state. Serieses of “oh fuck” spilled out of my lips like a chorus. Our sweaty bodies are moving with the shaking of the bed.

I decided to open my eyes and look down at Aaron. His eyes were focused on my boobs before he looked up into my eyes, switching nipples. The multitude of sensations were overwhelming, but not enough to get me where I needed to be. That knot in my stomach was so close to breaking. I leaned my head back and squeezed my eyes shut, mouth forming an “o”. “Harder, please sir.” I called out, scratching his head. He obeyed, snapping his hips into me, fast and hard, causing me to gasp and throw my head to the side. I continued my series of “fucks” and moans as he continued to fuck me into oblivion. I squeezed around his cock, getting closer and closer. He got the message, reaching a hand down and swirled his thumb around my clit. “I know baby, you’re so close.”

“God, yes.” I replied, gasping at the contact, arching my back some more. 

“I am too, come on baby.” He groaned out. My moans staggered with his thrusts. His fingers. His mouth. His voice. His words. His dick. It all hit me as the knot tightened even more. “Oh fuck, sir, I’m about t- oh god.” I cried out, rutting my hips to match his pace. 

“That’s it honey, let go, I got you.” He said and I did. I let go and came at that. He grunted and came as well, the condom filling up inside me. 

We both took deep breaths and I whined as he pulled out of me. We were both breathing heavily and Aaron got up from the bed. He walked towards the bathroom and threw away the condom. He closed the door and I heard the sound of him using the restroom. I reached a hand out, vision blurry and searching for him. I needed his touch. My fingers twitched for him, gasping his name out. He came back out with a damp towel and a cup of water. He handed me the cup of water and went down to my legs and pussy, gently wiping away the juices and cum from the sheets and my body. I sat up after he was finished and drank the water greedily as he removed the pillow from under my back. He used the remnants of the damp towel to wipe down my sweaty body. He threw the towel in the laundry basket before getting up again. I grabbed his wrist quickly and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Please don’t leave again.” I pleaded, tears forming in my eyes. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, firmly with his hand on the back of my head. I closed my eyes at the contact and the tears fell down my face. I felt him pull his lips back and wipe the tears from my face. I opened my eyes and looked at him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here with you.” He confirmed. 

Aaron walked around the bed to the other side and got under the covers, motioning me to join him. I got under the covers and wrapped my arms around his torso, leaning my head on his chest. He placed his chin on the top of my head as I drifted off to sleep.

***

I woke up to my alarm and an empty bed. Blearily, I got up and grabbed a shirt off the floor and pulled on the panties, too. Aaron! I thought to myself, waking me up quickly. Putting on my slippers quickly, I headed out into the common area. Hope had faded as I didn’t see him. Panicking, I quickly thought if it was a dream and reached for the counter. Tears pricked my eyes as the lonely presence loomed over me. That was until I heard a muffled clank and a quiet “shit!” from downstairs. I gasped before turning towards the stairs.

I headed down them and opened the door to find Aaron on the ladder, positioning the clock on the nail in the wall. As if he sensed my presence, he turned towards me and smiled. “Good morning, I got us breakfast and coffee. Made it the way you like it.” He said, climbing down the ladder. I saw the food and drinks at the register desk as well as the white tulips in a vase with water, right next to the dried tulips. I walked towards the desk and Aaron appeared behind me. He kissed my cheek. He licked his lips before concern crossed his features, turning me to face him. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

I smiled and nodded. “I am now.”

He smiled back and hugged me tightly, swaying slightly as we drank in each other's presence.

A/N: Hehe, it's finally done and I honestly love it, let me know what you guys think and if I should start a taglist on this or something.

Buy me a ko-fi if you enjoyed it. I also do commissions! Likes and reblogs are also helpful!

https://ko-fi.com/katelynyava1130

[spiderfunkz]

✦ I LOVE THE SMITHS, AND YOU!

summary : you love the smiths, peter loves you.

word count : 0,8k

warnings : fluff, reader is oblivious & peter is just peter, not proofread btw.

a/n : based on this request!! my requests for peter are like always open so feel free to send in your thoughts <33 also this is inspired by that one scene in 500 days of summer but on a budget.

peter parker was in love.

sorry, correction, is in love.

he didn't know when this little crush started.

maybe it was in the 5th grade, when he was paired with you to do a project together, that's when he first met you. he remembered how he'd admire you as you glued those stupid looking dinosaurs on the cardboard.

he remembered how your overgrown bangs were almost covering your eyes. he remembered how he'd ask why you didn't cut it, and how you replied with — "i dunno, i don't want to cut it yet. my mumma told me hair holds memories. and i don't want to forget those memories."

he remembered how that reply made him smile. how he'd knew you two would get along somehow. and also, since then he became really picky when it comes to haircuts.

or maybe it was in the 9th grade. when you were one of the few people that wished him a happy birthday. he remembered that you gave him a really big smile, and he always noted how it was the prettiest smile he has ever seen, well, other than aunt may's of course.

or maybe it was last week. when you sat next to him in french class.

maybe it's because he noticed how your bangs were now blended with the rest of your hair, how he'd realized you never cut it since 5th grade. he wondered how many memories you have kept because of it. he wonders if he's in any of those.

he also wonders if you ever noticed that he liked you. how he'd always steal a glance when you're not looking, how he had your birthday marked on every calendar he has owned, or how he'd save up to buy you the things you looked at for too long.

maybe you did. and maybe you didn't know what to think of it.

to be completely honest, you were never much of a romantic.

never really. in your entire life you only liked two and a half things. the pasta your mom cooked, your hair, and sometimes, peter parker.

well, most of the time, peter parker. i mean he's your friend of course you like him! he's funny, he has nice soft hair that you just want to run your fingers through, he's smart and witty but he never brags about it, he cares for you, and his hand intertwines with yours perfectly.

okay, maybe you like him more than a friend. but that's another story you don't want to get too deep into.

"how about this?" you ask, holding peter's 'the smiths ; the queen is dead' cd in your hand.

you were supposed to do your english essay with peter today in his room, but like every other work you do with peter in his room, you both end up getting distracted.

"i forgot i had that, i loved it." he smiles, "put it on." he says, gesturing to the cd player.

"i love love this album! i can't believe you forgot you had this." you turn the player on as the song starts to play.

"you can keep it if you want, since you like it so much." peter says. "really?" — "of course." peter nods.

"thanks, peter. you're the best." you sat next to him.

peter hands you the paper you were supposed to do your essay on. "i wrote half of it with a pencil, you can just trace it with a pen." he smiles. "oh my god, peter. you know i could've done it myself." — "yeah but then it'll take you 5 hours and no sleep. besides, i'm almost done with mine too, so."

"aw, thanks." you lean your head on his shoulder as you read what he wrote on the paper. you focus on the paper, not noticing that peter's face is turning bright red.

a few minutes pass by and peter's calming down, he leans his head on yours. but when he does your head immediately jerk up. "oh i love this part!" you turn the volume up. "don't you?" you turn to peter, he nods.

"to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die!" you sang. "ugh, i love the smiths." you lean forward to grab a pen so you could finish the essay.

peter looks at you as you hum to the song. he notices your cherry tinted lips, and how your hair is clipped to the side with a clip that peter bought you years ago. he looks at you with such care and love. though unfortunately, you don't notice that.

you look to peter, "what do i have something on my face?". peter looks away, "oh uh no, sorry."

you furrow your brows. "you sure?" peter nods. "okay..." you laugh.

you continue to nod to the song, the pen in your hand overwriting peter's messy handwriting. "i loveee the smiths." you repeated.

"i loveee you." peter blurts out. he hopes it wasn't too loud, but you seem to be focused on the song and your paper.

"huh?" you turn to peter. "what? huh." peter awkwardly looks away, again. you look at him for a bit before smiling, "did you say you loveee the smiths too? i thought you weren't that big of a fan anymore." you clearly misheard him.

peter was dumbfounded, sure he didn't want you to hear that. but at the same time he did want you to hear that. "no i uh- i said, i love you."

"you love, me?" you ask.

"yeah, l-o-v-e."

"love love?"

"yeah. love love."

[farfromharry]

I love you, forever | Eddie Munson fic

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend was an idiot, the biggest idiot you had ever met. The belief he was a loser and a coward had broke him down so much that he was willing to risk his life to be a hero, only he didn’t consider the consequences it would have on everyone else if he didn’t make it out alive.

Word count - 5566

Warnings - character death, angst sorry lol

a/n i literally started this july 2022 and got the sudden urge to finish it now, so pls enjoy

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Your boyfriend, though you liked to rave about how smart he was, was an idiot. He was the biggest idiot you had ever known to be.

The plan was to distract the bats, nothing more, nothing less and that had been made abundantly clear. As soon as that had been done he and Dustin should have been making their way out of the upside down and to safety, as agreed. But no, despite the fact that his motto was ‘there’s no shame in running’, this time he didn’t run. This time he went back, he endangered himself, he endangered everyone. You were all so close, so close to being back in Hawkins and this being over when everything turned to shit.

As the adults, you let Dustin climb back through the gate first, back into the destroyed Munson trailer where you would be safe– safer, at least. You were to follow as insisted by your boyfriend. There was no tell you picked up on that Eddie was going to deviate from your plan at any point. Not even when he’d called your name, catching you off guard with a long kiss. Now you knew that he had been confirming to himself what he was going to do. At the time it hadn’t felt like a goodbye kiss, but clearly you had misjudged.

He helped you up the rope, waiting until he was sure you were safe on the mattress at the other end of the gate, where Dustin helped you to your feet.

You looked back expecting to see him making his way towards you, but instead were just in time to see as he cut the remainder of your makeshift rope, severing his way out. Your body felt frozen, heart dropping into the pits of your stomach as you became overwhelmed with a new sense of fear. You cursed under your breath.

“Eddie.” Your voice was shaky as you tried to combat the tears. Nothing good would come out of him trying to be a hero. “Don’t do this. Think about what Steve said… don’t be a hero.” At the time you had thought Steve was being pretty dramatic. None of the 3 of you would be stupid enough to do anything life threatening, or at least more life threatening than what you were already doing, least of all Eddie. But now it felt like very fitting advice, almost like he had already known what could happen.

He looked to be reconsidering for a second, pausing in his movements. You could practically see the cogs turning and you were praying he would do the right thing. However the second he looked at you, you knew.

“I’m sorry.”

He ignored every one of your pleas to come back.

When you looked at Dustin, you could barely see him through the water building in your eyes. You were sure you’d both come to the same agreement. “We have to go get him.” And you never expected him to protest.

There was another problem when the 2 of you remembered he had made it difficult for you to get back through the gate. You no longer had a functional rope and the drop was pretty big. It was going to take some guts to head through. You lead the way, despite hoping 5 minutes ago that you would never have to step foot in the upside down again. The landing was far from graceful, but you seemed to be intact and without injury. The same couldn’t be said for Dustin though, who hit the floor with a pretty nasty crack from his knee.

“Shit, are you okay?” you asked. Your hand hovered over his leg, scared to touch it in case you made it any worse. It sounded bad enough already, especially if his face was anything to go by. You had heard the snap, so you could only imagine the kind of agony he was in. But even so, he was still willing to get back up on his feet (with your help) if it meant saving Eddie. He wasn’t backing down that easily.

You helped the boy limp his way out of the trailer, rounding the corner until your eyes landed on Eddie with his spear and makeshift shield. You could see the weird bats circling around him and you did not have a good feeling about what was going to happen next.

“Eddie!”

Maybe it was all your fault for distracting him, or maybe he never really stood a chance with the sheer amount of the animals that were there, but he couldn’t defend himself when they all began swarming him.

The scream that ripped from your throat was one you never thought you’d be able to produce, but the sight in front of you was one that was enough to shock you to your core. A pair of arms wrapped around you the second Dustin caught on to the way in which your knees were giving way beneath you. He didn’t expect the impact of having to catch your entire body though, not with his injured leg, so as a result the both of you descended to the floor.

You tried your hardest to get out of his arms, to run to Eddie to see if you could help him in any way, but the kid was surprisingly strong. In his defence, he didn’t think he could handle losing 2 people he cared about in the same moment. If you could help Eddie, it needed to be after the bats cleared. None of you stood a chance against those things. They were out for blood.

You had never felt as useless as you did in that moment. You just sat there, crying and watching as the things mauled your boyfriend. There had to be something you could do.

It was sudden when it came to an end. You didn’t know what happened, seeing all the bats drop, you just assumed your other friends had been successful in their half of the plan, that things were finally coming to an end. Dustin didn’t care to speculate, he just took off limping within a second towards the boy lying motionless on the floor. In any other scenario you probably would’ve teased the kid about how much he cared for your boyfriend, but the reality of the moment was beginning to weigh on you and it was heavy.

It took you a little longer to gather yourself, but when you finally stopped crying and built up the courage to head over there, you only caught the tail end of their conversation. You didn’t expect that any of it would be relevant to you though.

“Take care of her, Henderson,” he said, pleading with the boy with those big doe eyes. His grip on the kid’s arm was as tight as he had the strength for, telling the curly haired boy just how serious he was. He would have told you to take care of yourself, but he knew you far too well. This was going to ruin you, there was no way you could get past this on your own. Dustin nodded. It was easy for him to make the promise, because he would fulfil it for Eddie no matter what.

Now that he had mentioned you, it was hitting him that he couldn’t see you. He vaguely recalled the scream he had heard earlier and suddenly he was nervous. Had the scream been because the bats were coming after you too? What had happened that he didn’t know about?

“Where is she?” he asked, frantically. He tried turning his head to look for you, but he was only making his injuries worse. Dustin was trying to calm him, to tell him you were right there and you were fine, but it seemed nothing would put a stop to his writhing until he heard the sound of your voice.

“I’m here. I’m right here, Eddie.”

You switched places with Dustin, the younger putting some distance between you so he could go and feel his emotions without interrupting your goodbye. You took Eddie’s hand, bringing it up close to your face so you could feel him. “You’re such an idiot. We were almost out and you just–” you frowned. “It was so dumb.”

He took your words in his stride, managing to let out a strangled laugh. “But I didn’t run. I was the hero this time… right?” There was hope swimming in his eyes as he waited for your response. He needed you to confirm it.

The fact he didn’t consider himself a hero broke your heart a little bit. You forgot he couldn’t see himself the way you saw him. In your eyes he was the biggest hero in the entire world. More importantly, he was your hero. “You were always my hero, Eds.” It was important to you that he knew that. “Remember that time in junior year, the first– and last– time I ever played D&D?” Initially he looked confused. He sure remembered it, it was the first time he realised he might have feelings for you, but he didn’t understand its relevance now. “Man, I was so terrible at the game, and all your friends were mad, but you did everything to try and save me. That day was the first time I ever called you Eddie the hero, and I meant every word. Do you remember that?”

The sight of a tear rolling down from the corner of his eye made your heart clench. It wasn’t the first time you’d met, but it was the first time he really thought that maybe he wasn’t going to be on his own forever. That had been the day he really fell in love with you. Never in his life had he ever forged one of his beloved games so much for a single person, but he couldn’t destroy the excitement that was written all over your face. That was how he knew he was completely whipped.

After that game you had waited in the room until everyone had left, leaving you alone with Eddie as he tidied up. He didn’t notice you at first, too busy with cleaning all his gear and such away, so you had to clear your throat to catch his attention. You remember the way he jumped as he realised there was another person in there with him.

“Oh hey. Did you forget something?” he asked, rubbing his hands together nervously. You didn’t know exactly what was making him like that, but part of your brain thought it might have been you. It was quite the ego boost to know outspoken junior Eddie Munson was intimidated by you.

“I actually wanted to thank you.” The look on his face was one of pure confusion. “For all the help,” you clarified. He made a quiet ‘ah’ sound in understanding. “I know I sucked, so bad, but I really appreciate all the times you saved my ass so I could keep playing.”

The two of you laughed together. “Yeah, uh, you just looked so excited. I really wanted to give you a fair chance, but you sucked so hard, dude.” Although he’d been nervous to be alone with his crush at first, he was starting to realise how easy it was to talk to you. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so comfortable around someone who was essentially a stranger.

“I appreciated it, maybe you should change your character's name to, like, Eddie the hero or something. I think it has a nice ring to it.”

He shrugged, trying to force away the blush that donned his cheeks. “Round here I’m just known as Eddie the freak, so I don’t know how well that hero stuff would go down.” The way he brought up the insult regularly used to belittle him so casually shocked you. You knew what people said about him in Hawkins, but you also didn’t believe it. The people in the town were judgemental and loved to gossip about everything, but more than half of what they said was never true.

“I don’t think you’re a freak,” you told him. “I think everyone else is an asshole.”

“Trust me, sweetheart. You don’t want to let other people hear you say that, ‘cause you’ll no sooner be joining me and the outcast club.” He didn’t know why he was trying to scare you away when he wanted to do nothing more than confess his every last feeling to you. But you didn’t seem repelled at all.

“Look, maybe I’m not a full blown freak because Dungeons and Dragons isn’t my forté at all, but I’d like to hang out again sometime, if you want to that is, and if that makes me an outcast then so be it.” You were taking a big leap there.

His eyes were wide and he was slightly taken aback. “Are you sure? There’s no going back.”

“A thousand percent sure, Munson. You guys seem so much cooler than them losers anyway.” You meant every word.

That had been almost four years ago. Since that day you’d been pretty much inseparable. The love that blossomed between the two of you over the years withstood everything. Eddie’s dad going to jail and the boy having to move in with his uncle permanently, his decision to start selling drugs when he needed the extra money, when your constant ridiculing from being associated with him started to get to him. That had been a real rough patch for you guys. Never in your life had you received so much negative attention than you had from the moment you’d been spotted outside Hawkin’s high school kissing Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson. He wanted to protect you from it and the only way he could think to do that was put distance between you. But you didn’t want that. In the end you made it pretty clear that he was stuck with you.

“You mean it… I’m your hero?”

You smiled. “Not only did you save me again, but, you saved the world, saved all of us. ‘M so proud of you, baby. Of course you’re my hero.”

His gaze was beginning to wander, to grow unfocused and it made you panic. “Hey. Hey, look at me,” you whispered, choking back your tears as the boy’s gentle eyes stared up at you blankly. Usually they were so full of life, emotion– he was very expressive with his eyes– but now there was almost nothing. He managed to offer you the sweetest smile he could, given the pain he was in, and you couldn’t help but admire his selflessness. “There’s that gorgeous smile.”

You stroked his cold cheek with your thumb. Sometimes when you would compliment him, especially right at the beginning of your relationship, his cheeks would burn the brightest pink and he would get so flustered that he wanted nothing more than to hide. But now there was nothing. He was cold to the touch.

He grunted slightly from the pain as he began to speak. It must have been taking a lot of energy that he didn’t really have just to even talk to you. “‘M glad that if this is it… how I die–” You saw the way he winced. “Then the last thing I saw was your face…”

You hated that he had used that word, that he was reminding you of what was basically the inevitable now. You didn’t want him to die. He couldn’t die. Part of you was still under the belief that the others would find you down here, that they would just know something was wrong and they would be able to help you. Maybe there was a possibility of Eddie walking out of here alive. You just had to get him to a hospital. They could help him there.

“You can’t die on me.” You were very insistent. “This is meant to be our year. We were gonna get out of here, remember? Head down to Chicago, find somewhere you could play your music and I could teach.” It had been the plan for a while actually, something you’d talked about in depth on nights when it was just the 2 of you wrapped up together. He just needed to graduate first and then your plan could be put into motion. You were excited; so was he.

“In the house, with the pretty garden…” he muttered.

You nodded, laughing wetly as you pushed some of his hair from his clammy skin. You didn’t remember when the tears began to fall so freely. “Yeah, Ed, the pretty garden.” It was so vivid in your mind. “And I was gonna help people fit in; the outcasts that aren’t given a chance. Just like you and me.”

He hummed. “Those kids would love you.”

“I hope so,” you said, continuing to run your fingers through his crazy curls, being as gentle as you could when untangling. You didn’t want to hurt him more than he already was. “And you, you were gonna be some big shot musician and I was gonna come to all your shows.”

“Gonna be a rockstar…”

Your chest ached painfully. “Yeah. You’re gonna be a rockstar.” Neither of you acknowledged how you weren’t using past tense when you probably should be. It wasn’t important right now.

As the seconds passed by it was clear that less and less of him was present. He was slipping away from you and far too fast. There was no way you could hold it against him though. He deserved some relief.

“It’s okay. You can rest now, baby.” It pained you to even say it. Hell, it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest, but it wasn’t right to be selfish. He was in a lot of pain, you were sure and he was only holding on to keep you happy. You were asking too much of him in a state like this. The smile you offered him was clearly forced, but it didn’t take a genius to realise that, not when your face was already covered in tears.

It was clear his pain was growing, but there was something holding him back. “Kiss me first?”

Really you shouldn’t have been surprised. That was typical Eddie. He believed even the worst of things could be healed with a kiss. Whenever he was sick, despite how much medicine or home remedies you supplied him with, he would insist it was your kisses which had made him better. Whenever he was sad, his mood could be improved with the gentlest of kisses from you. It all came down to you and your little pecks filled with love.

You chuckled and nodded. He had a little bit of blood on his lips but it didn’t bother you. This might be the last time you ever got to kiss him, you weren’t going to let something so trivial get in the way. You wiped it away with your sleeve, uncaring of how it was probably going to stain your clothing. Clothing could be replaced. Without another second to spare, you dipped your head down, lightly pressing your lips to his. The kiss was a weird tasting mix of metallic-y dried blood and salty tears, but you wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

As you pulled away, he smiled, managing to raise his arm enough to place his hand on your cheek. “One last thing…” Right now you’d listen to anything he had to say, no matter how silly. “Go into my jacket for me,” he instructed.

Obviously you did as he asked, ignoring the way your hands seemed to be getting covered in specks of blood. You tried to push that thought into the back of your mind. If you paid too much attention to the fact that your lover’s blood was literally on your hands, you didn’t know if you’d be able to function any longer. You didn’t know what you were looking for– he hadn’t told you– but eventually your fingers brushed against a velvety box and you saw him nod out of the corner of your eye.

You opened it as it came into your view, but the last thing you had expected was to see a ring sitting there. “What…?” You kept glancing between the object in your hands and the boy in front of you. What was going on? Surely he couldn’t be proposing right now. You were already certain you were going to be destroyed for who knows how long after this, but throw a proposal into the mix too and you knew you would never recover.

“A promise ring,” he clarified. “Was gonna give it to you to tide me over until we get out of here…” The breath he took was wheezy. “Then I was gonna get you a real one. Was gonna marry you as soon as we got to Chicago.”

That prompted another pained cry from your lips. You wished you would have been able to hold it back in a bid to protect his feelings, but you had no choice. You didn’t want his last image of you to be this heartbroken girl, he would feel guilt that he didn’t need to. This wasn’t his fault. But you had no way of reeling it in when you were so overwhelmed with anger and sadness. “Eddie, I would’ve married you in a rundown courthouse with some dirty, old shoelaces or something as rings.” You meant every single word of it. It didn’t even matter that he was still trying to pass high school– you’d marry him regardless. “You’re my world.”

He sighed. “Wanted the best for my girl.” You didn’t doubt that for a second. “But… you have to promise me that you’ll try and be happy without me.”

“You know I can’t promise you that.” There was no way you could be happy without him. He was your other half, your whole heart, your Eddie. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. It certainly didn’t help that you weren’t going to be able to talk about what had happened either. Whether it was to your parents or possibly even a therapist, you couldn’t tell them the real story behind what had happened. To Hawkins, Eddie was missing, they might never even know that he was…

“You have to try. For me.” And at the very least you could do that. Even if you ended up being unsuccessful, at least you’d have tried. “I will love you, forever,” he said, breathlessly.

You smiled, brushing all his hair back from his face. He truly was the most handsome man you had ever seen. “I love you forever, Edward Munson.”

On a whim, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to the centre of his forehead. You heard him exhale shakily, in what was presumably his final breath. Eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to keep your tears at bay. He probably felt the drops of water landing on his skin.

The feeling of him going limp in your arms was one you were sure you would never forget. It would be the very thing that haunted your dreams until the day you died yourself. How many people could say they had held their lover as they literally died in their arms? The thought of it was overwhelmingly horrible, but you couldn’t help but find slight amusement in the fact you knew Eddie would have found it extremely metal. As tragic as it had been, he would have been thrilled at how cool the whole thing made him sound.

After a few minutes of just trying to accept what had happened, you finally lifted your head and noticed Henderson was watching you. You were sure the look in your eyes was just as broken as the one in his. Neither of you said anything to one another. What were you even supposed to say? In the end you sat in silence with Eddie’s body between you, replaying the horrid final moments of his life in a way to torture yourselves.

Even when Dustin staggered away you couldn’t bring yourself to leave Eddie just yet. He looked so peaceful now, so calm that you were almost jealous. You stroked his hair, trying not to think about how this was probably the last time you would ever see him. If you had known that when you woke up this morning, you wouldn’t have gone through with this crazy plan. You might have even pitched a life on the run to Eddie. Anything was better than this outcome. You felt like you’d failed him, like everyone had failed your sweet boy.

So many in this town viewed him as a freak, a creep, a satan worshipper. None of those things were true. Eddie was the sweetest man you had ever met, a ray of sunshine who brightened up your life. He was nothing like people said he was– he had just been stuck with an unfortunate label that in the end had cost him his life. Life wasn’t fair.

It was the kid’s voice that broke you from your thoughts. “We have to go.”

You couldn’t stay in the upside down forever. This place was dangerous, hugely so and even if your friends had managed to put an end to Vecna’s reign of terror, that didn’t mean all the other horrors this place had to offer were gone.

You frowned, feeling a bubble of anger situate itself in your chest. “We can’t leave him here.” He deserved more than that. He deserved a send off, a proper funeral. His uncle deserved to know what had happened to his boy. It didn’t look like the kid had any plans of helping you get him out of here. Despite how much he cared for Eddie, there was no explaining this in the real world. You were in disbelief. “Dustin…”

“It’s not–” his voice broke and he quickly blinked back tears. “It’s not safe for him back there.”

He was obviously referring to people like Jason, who had jumped at the opportunity of leading a witch hunt against him. If they got their hands on Eddie’s body, god forbid, you didn’t know what kind of terrible things they’d do with it. But the same could be said for whatever lurked down here. At least there was a chance he could be at rest back in your world. He deserved a grave, where people would lay flowers and you could talk to him. The look on Dustin’s face though told you you weren’t gonna get that.

“We can’t just leave him.” The tears had begun falling again at the idea of just abandoning him here. During your late night talks with him, you had come to learn that thanks to his parents, he had a fear of being abandoned by those he loved. He was already outcast by Hawkins enough, he didn’t want to end up completely alone. Leaving him here would feel like you were betraying him in a way. “He shouldn’t be on his own. He–” It was easy to forget he was still young. He was just a kid, a kid who got scared just like anyone else. Leaving him here alone would surely be terrifying for him.

“Y/N, we can’t…”

Your sadness was beginning to morph into anger, but it didn’t feel like you could take it out on the kid. He was only doing what he thought was best.

You took some deep breaths, then looked back at your lover, then the ring that he’d given you and slowly felt your anger subside. It was for the best. Maybe if you left him here the weird ways of the upside down could even bring him back. At least that was what you hoped– but it was a little crazy. With a sigh and a final kiss to his head, you got up to your feet, allowing Dustin to lead you out of this hellhole, one man down from when you entered.

You barely even remembered him taking you back to the rest of your group. It wasn’t until someone actually spoke that you realised it wasn’t just the 2 of you anymore.

“Is that blood?” Robin yelped. Her loud voice had caught the attention of Steve and Nancy, their eyes trailing over you and Dustin looking like you’d both just seen ghosts. He could see your body shaking, the dried tear stains on your face when the light hit just right, it all terrified him. Were you bleeding? Was Dustin? Was someone hurt?

“Who’s blood is that?” he asked, scanning you over for any visible injuries. He couldn’t see any, though he didn’t like the mass of blood that was staining your shirt either. When you didn’t respond he became more firm with it, repeating his question. “Y/N, who’s blood is on your hands?” He was getting more impatient the longer you took to answer. If someone was hurt, or bleeding, he needed to know so he could help stop it.

There was radio silence from you. You thought if you opened your mouth all that would come out was another wave of sobs that you couldn’t stop. But that dam was soon to break when Nancy couldn’t help but notice the last member of your trio was nowhere to be seen. She asked the question that hadn’t seemed to hit your other 2 friends yet.

“Where’s Eddie?” Nancy spoke. Your teary eyes finally looked up at them and the sight of your resolve breaking was all they needed to know. There was a round of curses from them as you began to quietly cry again, standing frozen in your place helplessly.

The lack of Eddie, the blood, the horror on your faces, it could only mean one thing.

Robin cursed under her breath, she was really starting to like Eddie. Meanwhile Steve took it upon himself to try and be the comforter in this situation. A large hand settled itself on your shoulder and you didn’t have the energy to work out who it belonged to. You believed it was Harringtons, but you didn’t care enough to check.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

What was anyone supposed to do in this situation?

They all looked around at one another, silently asking where they went from here. They had hoped that things were fixed, they’d go back to normal finally, but really their interdimensional problems had just flipped even more people’s lives on their heads. You and Eddie should have never gotten mixed up in this.

You didn’t really know what was happening around you after that, it was like time was moving but you weren’t. Somehow though you ended up in Dustin’s house, being led through the halls until he sat you down in a bathroom. He was washing the blood from your hands; Eddie’s blood.

“Tell me about your plan.”

Your brow furrowed and your head finally raised to look from your bloodied hands to the boy helping to clean them. Sometimes when Dustin spoke you truly had no idea what he was getting at. He liked to say things that only seemed to make sense to himself. “What?” you questioned, hoping for a little more context at least.

His plan was to try and distract you, something that seemed to be working already. “I heard you saying you had a plan to get out of Hawkins, tell me about it.” Maybe it was personal, maybe you didn’t want anyone else to know, but there was also the chance that this would help you, that you could get some of your pent up anger at the world out here.

“He–” you didn’t know if you could say his name. “He wanted to go to Chicago, hoped he could find his big break with his music.” You smiled at the thought. There had been so many late nights spent talking about your hopes and dreams. Your future together was planned out to a tee pretty much. The idea had always been there, you just had to figure out together how you were going to execute it. None of that mattered though, not as long as you were together.

Dustin listened to every single word you had to say, interrupting every now and then to ask a question. It completely distracted you from the fact he was cleaning your boyfriend’s blood from your hands. At least until you had that thought and then suddenly you were conscious of it all over again.

“That all sounds lovely. I’m sure Chicago’s nice this time of year too.”

His words had tears welling up in your eyes for what felt like the millionth time today. It wasn’t his mistake that had made you cry, more so just the reminder of the situation, but he cursed like he was to blame all the same. There was nothing he could do but give you a hug as you dealt with a million thoughts about what you were supposed to do now that you were alone. This whole thing wasn’t a dream. Those damn bats had attacked him and left him for dead. You should’ve all gotten out of this unscathed. But you didn’t. Eddie didn’t make it out. He was never going to make it out. Eddie was dead.

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