#I literally performed watch what happens as a singing/acting number for a competition

[myfairkatiecat]

MY SCHOOL IS DOING NEWSIES

[dorizardthewizard]

So I watched the Eurovision movie

Uh, I have a lot of thoughts because this is the closest we’re gonna get to the real thing this year ;^; First, the positives!

What they got right:

Overall, I like that it wasn’t really taking the piss out of the competition – whether you agree or not with how it was portrayed, the creators do have a lot of love for the show and that is reflected in how much it means to the characters. I think it was fitting to start with the kids watching and being inspired by ABBA’s win (I’m always up for showing people where the group’s fame started), and making it their life goal to perform in the contest. Just like Lars and Sigrit, many musicians in Europe grow up with Eurovision being an annual tradition and it’s their big dream to one day perform on that international stage, so yeah I think it decently showed how important ESC is here.

They got the overall vibe right too – most of the songs really felt like Eurovision songs (maybe a little dated but still), from the Viking-Europop opener to the Lordi-aesthetic one to whatever the hell Russia was doing. I don’t think Greece’s song was something they’d ever send though; it fits the character but not what the country typically sends. Then again, Estonia have sent an opera song in Italian and Romania sent yodel rap so actually, I take back that statement. They were missing a Balkan ballad though! Staging was on point – I think it was filmed at the Tel Aviv stage so that’s obviously a factor, but big angel wings and hamster wheels also bring a lot of familiarity :P No pianos being set on fire though, which, in a movie with so many on-stage disasters, is honestly surprising.

Of course there’s also the past contestant cameos, for that I’ll say one thing – needs more Verka. Maybe some contestants from earlier years would have been nice too, at least we did hear Céline Dion’s song in the song-along. Would also have been nice if the whole mashup was Eurovision songs, instead of throwing in some other ones just to make it more recognizable for non-Eurofans. Otherwise, the mashup was really seamless and sounded good.

Another thing the movie got right was European’s attitudes to Americans, not sure how I feel about it since the movie was made by Americans, but it’s self-aware and pretty funny :P There’s also the funny gag about countries not wanting to host because of how expensive it is, not sure why a guy working for the national broadcaster would care about that but looking at Iceland’s population size, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was also an economist for the government or something.

What they got wrong:

Of course, there were some things they didn’t quite get right. First of all, did the UK win for it to be hosted in Scotland??? Unless Australia won, or some other country that didn’t want to host or something. They actually made a joke about UK getting zero points, but they said it’s because no one likes us, when in reality we just send the blandest songs :/

There were also a whole lot of technical inaccuracies like Sweden breaking the rule on number of people allowed on stage, big five countries taking part in the semi-final (come on, how can you not get that right? Maybe they were afraid Americans wouldn’t recognise half the flags? :P), the contestants were just sitting by themselves in some room like it’s The Voice or something, their delegations nowhere to be seen, and then there’s the total lack of security or planning around the competition, with Lars just running around doing whatever. The countries presenting their votes in the semi-final stood out as well, but since we didn’t get to see the final I can brush over it, just so we experience the voting somewhere in the movie. Wonder why they didn’t use past contestants for the points announcements? They also had the French one speaking in English but you know what, they remembered to make sure he was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower so I’ll let them off :P

One thing that did bother me was how hard the movie tried to make us think the Icelandic song was a failure, except the song wasn’t even bad so they had to resort to all the incidents on stage. They even had that complete silence after the hamster wheel incident, and there is NO WAY that would ever happen – even the null points songs get cheers! In fact, people would cheer harder, and I don’t think Graham Norton, or anyone for that matter, would be that surprised that people remembered the song and actually gave it points (oh yeah, great to see him in this!).

Okay, some of those inaccuracies were nitpicks, but they’re just fun to point out. I don’t think they quite nailed the portrayal though, but more on that later.

The movie itself:

Judging the rest of the film, the humour really didn’t do it for me- it was just kind of jarring that one half of the movie felt like your usual light-hearted music contest film that was fairly rooted in reality, then the next there’s a dismembered ghost of Demi Lovato and a guy getting stabbed by Elves??? I know it’s classic Will Ferrel random comedy but honestly, those parts could have been cut out of the movie just fine, it’s like half an hour too long anyway and you can tell by the way the humour drags. It can basically be summarised by the ending scene where Lars is yelling at the Americans and then just keeps going, and I know that’s the joke in that scene but they do this throughout the whole movie – something will happen and the characters will keep reacting back and forth and it’s honestly exhausting. That might just be me though, maybe I’d prefer more witty and self-aware humour in a Eurovision movie but I guess non-fans wouldn’t get half the jokes so they went for over-the-top ridiculousness ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As for the characters, Sigrit was great; she’s a good mix between cute and weird. Lars is… annoying tbh, maybe I just don’t care for Will Ferrel's character type but when Alexander asks Lars what he can possibly offer Sigrit I was like “yeah Lars, what CAN you offer?”. Their relationship was cute though and his arc about caring too much about winning was decent, it does kind of resonate with Eurovision because yeah, lots of countries will revamp their songs to have English lyrics and the style is increasingly converging to Americanized radio-friendly pop music. I do wish they’d focused more on this conflict, rather than bringing in a love square (?) with Alexander and Mita.

Speaking of Alexander, I actually liked how they portrayed the Russian character; he wasn’t a villain, he was fun to watch and was genuinely happy to see Sigrit succeed. I did not expect them to go there with the whole “there are no gays in Russia” thing – I laughed but also actually felt for the guy, and his friendship with Mita was peak mlm/wlw solidarity, it was sweet.

The ending:

For me, this is where it goes American Hollywood style and kinda reminds me of Madonna’s speech about everyone being winners. Felt like I was watching Camp Rock for a second then (which is funny since Demi is in this movie) – all the other acts are fun songs but we’ll just change ours to a ballad so it must be more heartfelt and resonate with the audience, as if a good chunk of ESC songs aren’t ballads already!! To be fair, they do well in having it be a personal song about her hometown and adding in parts in Icelandic (although I’ve heard it’s so butchered you can’t understand what’s being said), it’s a sweet ode to one of the best parts of Eurovision – celebrating where you’re from and making your country proud.

Wish they’d focused more on that tbh, we really could have done without Lars speaking to the audience – that’s the more Hollywood moment for me and kind of reminds me of acts that try to connect with the audience like it’s a concert. Sorry but we don’t do that here :P Instead of the “music is feeling”-like message, it would have been nice if the movie was more directed towards celebrating why the contest is so big and important even decades after it began, and how it literally brings an entire continent together for one night. This would have been nice especially because of all the cynicism towards ESC and its dismissal as just a dumb, campy event with no quality music whatsoever.

Huh, I just remembered there are no live instruments at Eurovision so how everyone can hear the piano at the end is beyond me, also the instrumental kicks in despite the fact that that song has never been recorded in a studio, let alone able to be played out loud onstage. But I’ll just imagine that’s for us to see, the audience actually just heard her singing and nothing else. I don’t think it would have been that impressive, so Iceland probably won everyone’s hearts through memes instead :’D

Overall, I don’t think the movie was terribly offensive or anything, just some silly fun that missed out on the potential of better portraying the Eurovision spirit. I might eventually watch it again, but with skipping out half the comedy :P

[ruffiorocks]

Issues with Will Shuester

I just can't get on board with this guy!

1. Remember when Will flirted with Emma while he had a wife he thought was pregnant at home?

2. Remember when Will planted drugs on Finn to force him to join Glee club or he would report him and ruin this Innocent kids life just so Will could get what he wanted? There's no way Finn would have joined if he hadnt been blackmailed, Will ensured that Finn who had been popular and who's life was going pretty well would now spend the remainder of his highschool life being a target.

3. Remember when Will refused to listen to his kids when they told him the songs they would like to do? How Glee club was all about what Will wanted and only what Will wanted?

4. Remember how uncomfortable Kurt was when he had to work with the boys who didn't all treat him with respect? That he was so much more comfortable with the girls but Will ignored all of this and forced Kurt to work with the boys?

5. Remember when Kurt lost his rag with Will because he just wouldn't listen when everyone was telling him they wanted to sing Britney? Kurt got sent to the principal's office because his teacher refused to listen to him.

6. Remember how Will only really gave a crap about Rachel and Finn? How he ignored Mercedes to the point that she quit and joined another Glee club?

7. Remember how Will had zero interest in the fact that Mercedes was feeling over worked, tired and was about to sick in Booty Camp but Will just told her to power through and she would be fine?

8. Remember how Emma told Will she had issues with dirt and mess and he told her he wanted to do an experiment and put chalk dust in her nose she quite explicitly said she wasn't ready for but he completely ignored her and did it anyway?

9. Remember how Will pressured Emma into saying she had OCD when she just wasn't comfortable with the term?

10. Remember when Will pressured Emma into having sex?

11. Remember when Will told Sue and Figgins in the principal's office about his lack of a sex life with Emma and how he was frustrated she wasn't putting out for him? To Emma's colleagues?!!

12. Remember when Emma wasn't comfortable with inviting parents over and Will ignored her wishes ans invited them anyway only to see that they bully Emma and that's why she doesn't like being around them?

13. Remember when Will got sick ans Terry came to take care of him? He feebly protested wile allowing her to do everything for him while putting her down. He then had sex with her because she was there, only to tell her the next day it was a mistake and he didn't want her to ever come back? How he used her for sex and then kicked her to the curb ?

14. Remember how Will had weirdly inappropriate relationships with his students?

15. Remember when Will was OK with his students being half naked on stage?

16. Remember when Marley came out dressed as Katie Perry when she was supposed to be Gaga? Will didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact the Sam, the half naked teenage boy had picked out a gold bikini for the underage teenage girl to wear in front of the students and dance around with boys and in front of her teacher? No he didn't care about that at all, all he chose to acknowledge was that she was Katie and not Gaga. Will Shuester suspended an underage teenage girl from Glee club because she refused to dance half naked because a boy told her to. Sam? Sam wasn't even reprimanded.

17. Remember how Marley had bulimia and no one cared? Remember how she passed out during a competition and the students and Will all acted like she had done something wrong? Then later Will did the above completely disregarded the fact that Marley had body issues?

18. Remember when Finn outed Santana to the whole school and wasn't reprimanded at all even though it was overheard, was used in a campaign against Sue and forced Santana to come out sooner than she was ready to?

19. Remember how the Glee club boys would always fight? Puck and Finn, Sam and Finn did, even the girls fought each other but nothing ever happened to them? Then Finn outs Santana risking ruining her life and she slapped him. Suddenly she's in the principal's office being told she will be suspended for two weeks because it was witnessed? Will is right there calling her out. But where was this justice when the boys were fighting? Where was his Justice when the girls were fighting? Where was this justice when Karofski was literally physically assaulting Kurt everyday? Nowhere! Any hit on Finn and suddenly justice becomes a thing?

20. Remember how Will never actually gave to shits about the kids problems unless it directly affected the Glee club? How he would just break up fights and arguments and tell them enough and they had to work together no matter what issues there were? Will liked to ignore the issues and the wondered why the team would be fighting. He ignored the fact that there was bullying, cheating and physical abuse going on and forced the kids to work together.

21. Remember when Will forced the kids to dance and sing with the football team? He took away the place they felt safe in and brought in the very people who made their lives hell outside of the choir room.

22. Remember when Will would insert himself into the numbers the kids were doing? Dancing around with then? Remember the creepy provocative dancing he did during the Britney performance? The one that turned into a sex riot?

23. Remember when Emma met a wonderful dentist names Karl and Will couldn't let her be happy? Remember the Rocky Horror Episode? He brought the same car as Karl in an attempt to seduce Emma who was in a relationship. He then chose Rocky Horror for the musical number because Emma said she enjoyed it with Karl. Completely inappropriate! He then got pissed that Karl agreed to play a role. He wanted so badly to impress Emma that he made Sam feel insecure about his body and claimed the told of Rocky for himself. He lured Emma into a classroom under the pretence that he needed help rehearsing and it ended in him getting half naked and simulating sex with Emma in a classroom at school while two students watched?!

24. Remember how Will just assumed that Kurt would play Frankenfurter because he was gay and into fashion?

25. Remember how Tina was there from day one and even the show made fun of the fact no one knew anything about her? She got given the solo once I think and ended up giving it to Rachel.

26. Remember when Blaine joined and Finn was awful to him but Will did absolutely nothing to stop it?

27. Remember how Santana bullied everyone but Will would just ignore it or say enough and move on?

28. Remember when Sebastian nearly blinded Blaine and all Will did waa contact the headmaster of Dalton, nothing was done and Will was like 'well i tried,'.

29. Remember when Sebastian threatened to upload Photoshopped naked pictures of Finn to the internet if Rachel didn't drop out of the competition? Finn was going to kick his ass and Will told him he would just have to learn to deal with these things since it will happen if he ever gets famous. All will was prepared to do was tell Dalton's headmaster, once again only caring about the competition and not his actual students and what this could do to Finn.

I could go on but I think that's enough for now!

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

So. Homecoming. Holy fuck. It’s taken me this long to even start to get my thoughts together. Very spoilery post under the cut. Like, as much as I can possibly remember of the show spoilery. Also rambly. And long. Ridiculously long. So you’ve been warned.

Also disclaimer, this is just homecoming to the best of my recollection and it might not be 100% accurate. So first of all the setlist (this was everything they sang but the order of songs in act 2 is a bit hazy, I think it’s about half right. Also I don’t think hardly anyone at the show could tell you exactly because it was just so overwhelming). They did medleys for all the non-Potter shows in act 1 in reverse chronological order, act 2 they did full songs from all the Potter musicals.

Act 1 TGWDLM, Join Us And Die, Show Stoppin Number We Got Work To Do, Make The Most Of It Ani, With My Own Eyes, Back On Top Gone To Oregon, Naked In A Lake, Speedrun No One Remembers Achmed, A Thousand And One Nights, Happy Ending Holy Musical B@man, Rogues Are We, Superfriends Status Quo, Kick It Up A Notch, I Wanna Be Me And My Dick, Listen To Your Heart, Ready To Go Act 2 Going Back To Hogwarts Harry Freaking Potter To Have A Home Different As Can Be (and reprise) Coolest Girl Cho’s Song Hey Dragon Granger Danger Guys Like Potter Wizard Of The Year To Dance Again Sidekick Voldemort Is Going Down Everything Ends Not Alone Days Of Summer Not Alone (reprise)

Thursday 25th The more I think about it the more I realise I really had no idea what I was expecting from the show. We’d been planning before they even announced what it was to fly out for it, but we had very few details. I didn’t even know they had an orchestra until like two hours before. I’d barely been able to watch any of their rehearsal stories. But I don’t think I’d ever been more excited for anything in my life. I was super excited for AVPW but also, it was my first time seeing any of them, the whole thing felt like a dream, and I had no idea how much it was gonna mean to me so it didn’t even hit me properly until the last night. Whereas I already knew exactly how special this would be, it was entirely once in a lifetime and I was nearly shaking.

Outside the theatre I’ve said it before but genuinely my favourite place in the world to be is surrounded by Starkid fans. Seeing people in cosplay, in merch, talking about the same shows and people I love, I just get such a sense of ‘this is home’. There was the classic waiting-in-line going back to hogwarts singalong. And some la dee da da day thrown in for good measure. Liam was walking along the line filming and doing interviews for the bts. Tessa got out of a car right next to us, we saw Jade and Traci and their friend Bella. They’re all gorgeous it’s insane and unfair.

Inside the theatre Spent over $100 on merch but honestly could have spent so much more, really I showed a lot of self restraint. They didn’t have the programmes though which I’m still heartbroken over. Saw Denise Richter which I was maybe too excited about. Didn’t speak to her or anything but even just to see her she exudes kindness she’s the best. Then we were hanging out in the lobby and Tessa was talking to everyone and hugging them and taking selfies and jumping in people’s group pics and I love her. Like she made my night even without me talking to her because she was SO sweet to everyone she spoke to and I was stood there falling in love with her by the second. Also, let’s talk about how cool the venue was? It looked unbelievable and they had a bunch of posters up with AVPM quotes. And the stage? Y’all have seen by now but they made it look like an actual homecoming dance and it was amazing. Considering how far back our seats were it was actually a very good view, it helped that I had an aisle seat so had a clear view of the entire stage. I’ve posted the pre-show playlist here, it was perfect, especially the JATP like, hell yeah to celebrating all their various projects. At this point I literally thought I was gonna die of excitement. AJ and Clark came on stage and as much as I was having great fun freaking out with the groupchat about how soon the show was I couldn’t wait to put my phone away cause that meant the show was starting. And then the lights went down.

Darren Very pleased to say it was not the Darren show, even though he did give the opening and closing speech. And as much as I have opinions about him, when he walked out for the first time it was a pretty special moment because it’s like, this is it this is really happening. The amount of energy in that room when he came on stage my god. You would not have believed there were only 1600 people there. The whole show people could barely get a sentence out without cheering, which in hindsight was probably annoying but it just shows how incredibly loved they are, and we were as grateful to them as they were to us. I loved the atmosphere in both shows, it was completely different both times and I’ll obviously get to the Friday night show, but there was something special about being in a room of majority backers, all of us seeing these show for the very first time, it was totally new. Again, literally no idea what to expect and it was the most exhilarating feeling. Darren did a little ‘look for your exits pretend we’re at Disney’ which was cute after being at Disney for two days beforehand. Classic starkid fashion, he told us they had no idea how long the show would run for. He made a G.L.E.E. joke so it’s nice to know he’s still on our side at the end of the day. I don’t know if it was him that talked about Starkid performing with a 13 piece orchestra for the first time, but I’m gonna bring it up here anyway. I’m so grateful they were overfunded and that they were able to have the orchestra, because it’s probably something they really wanted and it’s also something they 100% deserve. I’d sell my soul to hear every starkid song with that orchestra, it was magnificent. I really hope we do get an album because it all sounded SO GOOD. Unsurprisingly don’t remember much else of what Darren said because I was just so excited for the show to start.

TGWDLM medley  So as soon as the opening started playing even as Darren was still introducing people went insane, literally within two seconds I knew undoubtedly that this was gonna be the best two hours of my life (also the fastest. Often watching theatre shows I lose attention a little bit but there wasn’t a single second of this show that I wasn’t 100% in the moment they’re completely captivating, and it went by way too fast). Oh wow this is where we got to see Joey and Lauren for the first time. Fuck. I cannot describe to you how good they looked. Pictures do not do it justice. Thank god the mustache was gone. Thank god Lauren didn’t wear the boots. She was wearing my favourite hairstyle. Joey’s hair looked great. Their outfits were incredible. They literally could not have been more perfect looks for me and I’m so grateful. I could have cried happy tears at seeing them. This in itself could go on for five pages so I’ll leave it there. They all did the whole iconic zombie pose entrance. Corey sang Joey’s astronomical line which was kinda a shame cause I love the way he sings that line however I’m glad they did it like that cause Joey got to sing a lot in the show (still not enough for my liking but then again my liking is Joey and Lauren singing the whole show so I’m good). Wish they did Lauren’s ‘pines after a cute lil barista’ bit. Also kinda wish they did inevitable so Jon could sing because I love him and he deserves better @ starkid when are you going to hire me. However they made up for that when Jaime went ‘it is time’ and the room was absolutely electric because everyone knew exactly what was coming. That note had me shook from the moment I heard it on the digital ticket and I feel honoured to have heard it in person. Jeff was still her hype man. Jaime’s voice is honestly out of this world, she’s the person I’d most heard sing live but it was still mind blowing. She’s incredible I love her so much. Then Robert came on stage so like, room exploded again. Joey and Lauren should have been on stage doing their bit for show stopping number but again, what do I know? This song was 100% pandering but as much as it’s overhyped it is a good song and Robert fucking killed it, he actually impresses me so much. His voice? He did the hip wiggles, maybe even more than were in the show, and people went absolutely wild for it. He did the working boys bit and of course everyone lost their minds. And I loved it, I loved that atmosphere of everyone being entirely obsessed with every tiny thing these people do because that’s what connects us all. Jon did get to be a working boy (as did Mariah) and sounded great. They actually sang so much of this song holy shit definitely pandering. But they really were giving Hamilton some competition.

Firebringer medley Lauren Walker introduced this one, do I remember what she said? No, I was too busy wondering if they were going to sing Climate Change. They didn’t. You sang three songs from every other show but two from firebringer and one of them wasn’t climate change? Okay sure. This sounds like I’m complaining I’m not this section was still gorgeous and I loved every second of it. Hearing music from firebringer was amazing because it has some of my favourite music from all the starkid shows, and also because apart from TGWDLM which was so recent it’s the only show we hadn’t heard anything from since. They sang we got work to do which again, pandering and not even to what most people actually wanted if we’re being honest. But I’m happy about it because hearing Lauren sing that first line was a spiritual experience. Her voice? No words. So good. Can’t believe I got to hear it live? Properly?!? Also Joey got to be in this bless his heart and I couldn’t stop watching him doing the choreography. Lauren’s little expressions throughout the whole thing are adorable god I love her. Meredith sounded so good. Rachael got so much of a cheer when she sang her bit. Joey comforted Joe after the shadow bit. Then they sang from the proposal bit of the finale. Brian was pretending to be jealous when Meredith was singing to Lauren which made my life, p.s. Joey step up your game. The first time hearing Lauren sing ‘this is the dawn’ literally took my breath away. And with that orchestra!? (Will I ever shut up about the orchestra? The answer is no). The CHEERS for ‘we are womankind’. Hell yeah. And then Lauren did the arm thing like way to literally flex on us Lo. Not okay. They did the little Molag dialogue bit and Denise did the being-blessed-with-knowledge face. Watching Denise off to the side was honestly one of the highlights of the whole show. 

TTO medley

Now I’m questioning my memory but I think Jaime went offstage after Firebringer when she wasn’t supposed to because I’m sure I remember her not being on stage for this at first. Like everyone else was there and there was a moment where I was like ‘I feel like someone’s missing...’ and then Jaime walked on late. She did mention Julia having to remind her of her cues. Anyway. Gone to oregon was first and I was reminded what an actually good performer Jeff is. He’s great in that show. Corey got the cheers he deserved at his ‘wisconsin’ bit. Lauren singing Naked in a lake was beautiful. Even if not enough people sang with her when she asked for help (spoiler, we stepped up Friday). She was definitely trying to get us to sing the high bits cause her voice was tired and she didn’t want to but that’s fine. This was one of the songs from that show I really wanted them to sing and I’m glad they did, it’s so much fun. Also Lauren does kinda steal the show but watching everyone else in this song is great. Shoutout to the sax guy, I’m glad we as a fandom always appreciate the band/orchestra. I still can’t believe everyone just lets Lauren sing a whole song about skinny dipping but I’m here for it. Then they did speedrun which was. An experience. Still think Joey should have sung wagon on fire but would I have passed out most likely yes so maybe it was better off this way. I’m glad Rachael got a moment. The ‘faster’ bit was fucking insane I don’t know how they had the breath for it. Everyone clapped pace and I’m pretty sure we clapped faster than the song ever goes so, sorry guys that you had to go through that? I think I have a newfound appreciation for this song. It was either in this or possibly in Naked in a lake that Joey did something stupid and Lo looked at him and shook her head. There were a lot of little looks throughout the show and trying to catch each other’s eye across the stage and it was very cute and probably won’t make the cut even though it should it’s the best part of the show.

Ani medley Moses introduced it and he was wearing like the jacket that’s one of his costumes and he wore in the final SK10 livestream idk you guys I’ve seen that show twice. The Ani band is fucking great, they had Mark, Nick Gage (?? idk there was definitely a fourth person I was mostly watching Meredith let’s be real here), Clark and Meredith all sing. Meredith had the biggest smile on her face at all times it was a joy. Ani is such a fun song so many starkid songs are so fun. Also they added a key change (was it even a key change? I’ve never studied music whatever they did it sounded good.) Actually the whole arrangement of this medley I loved, I hope it makes the people who don’t appreciate the music in this show appreciate it. With my own eyes is my favourite song in that show and I’m very happy they did it. They should have had Denise do her choreo when they did Back on top tbh. I love Meredith in this song though.

Twisted medley Joe came out to introduce it but kept hyping everyone up about Ani first. I really miss Joe he has so much onstage energy. I knew they were doing No one remembers achmed but I was still so excited about it. It’s such a good song. And the whole ‘you ooze sex’ bit in the flesh? That’s all. Obviously the best part was everyone yelling tigerfucker. Experiencing that in person is unbeatable. Then they had Britney and Carlos sing their version of 1001 nights and it was beautiful, I very rarely listen to that version of the song but I should, Britney is unbelievable and I love her so much. I can’t believe she’d just flown in and had such a rough time right before the show, you wouldn’t have known it. Dylan walked out and I kinda thought they were gonna have him and Meredith do a quartet (starkid when are you gonna hire me??) but then he sang ‘and with my wife beside me’ and I was like :’) this is good. That part of the song always gets me and Dylan’s voice is a goddamn gift. I love the overlapping parts at the end of Happy ending too so it’s always a good choice. But why they didn’t sing dream a little harder when Alex was right there I do not know. 

HMB medley Pretty sure they had Julia introduce it? Guys it’s been a week gimme a break. Either way she definitely introduced something at some point and I’m glad everyone cheered so much for her because she was the glue of Starkid for a while. Nick Gage sang HMB and they had a reverb (again, is that the right term? not a clue) and he looked so pleased with himself every time we laughed. Then they sang rogues are we (rogues medley would have been better but in fairness that would have ruined the whole thing they had going). I do love Lauren singing we are the harlots and the hussies. A lot. But Denise does it so well. And Jaime’s ‘we’re rising up from the underground’?? I don’t think I have a single thing to say about any of the men in this song and I’m not sorry. Superfriends sounded very cool. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, I always love the matching tattoos bit, and seeing Meredith’s story afterwards about how she was directing hers at Jade made it even better. I don’t even remember who sang Robin’s lines because I was too busy watching Lauren do the dance, she’s adorable. It was funny watching like five of them doing it cause they were the only ones who had learned it before and the rest not knowing it. Also, I don’t know which makes me happier, when they point into the audience for ‘I wanna be your friend forever’, or when they point at each other. Both are good.

Starship medley Denise introduced the show and um hi I love Denise she’s so cute. She said the thing about her mom calling Starship a show for dreamers and I still think that’s the most adorable thing. I will say for the rest of time that having Alex and Mariah sing Status quo was a weird choice. Also made me pissed that basically no one cheered for Alex but of course everyone went fucking crazy for Mariah. Not even that Mariah didn’t deserve it, but she didn’t deserve it more than Alex. Just saying. It did sound very good with the orchestra and they both have good voices, but I still think we deserved it sounding good with JOEY and the orchestra. I would have died to hear Joey sing that song. Moving on though. Kick it up a notch is always better in rogues medley but I do adore the Jim Brian and Jaime trio anyway. And it’s SUCH a good song. Then they sang I wanna be which I was psyched about I love that song (it was straight from Brant’s verse though like hello what happened to Joey rights). Hearing the older songs makes me wish so much they’d remount them because they all sound so good now it would be amazing. Joey’s voice is legitimately a blessing from the gods. 

MAMD medley Brian introduced the show and walked away from the mic before he said dick, which was funny but also reminded me of how they said this would be the most PG show starkid had done which is laughable. Joey did a whole bit in the beginning that reminded me a lot of his jekyll and hyde performance in shitty broadway. I love that man. Again, we deserve a remount of this show if only for Joey’s voice. Then we have maybe the most iconic moment of the thursday show which is when Joe had way too much excitement for his entrance, fucking sprinted on stage, knocked over the mic stand and had to rescue it, spraining his ankle in the process. And recovered BADLY, he was trying to figure out what to say to pull it back and Joey basically had to tell him to just sing already. I feel a little guilty now because it looked pretty bad, but it was really fucking funny. And then the cheer at the head tilt, why do we all love it so much??!? Then Joey sang Listen to your heart with AJ (him and Brian are a better duo fight me). I loved their little added dialogue, with Joey being like ‘do I smell?’ and AJ being like ‘so bad’. I always always love the little dance break Joey is the sweetest boy. I think I remember something like ‘am I doing it?’ ‘not even close Joey’. Then Alle Faye and Ali came out for ready to go and it went from their bit. It was really nice seeing them back together again. It wasn’t like nearly ten years had gone by at all. God it’s weird how nostalgic I was/am for something I wasn’t even there for. The ‘we’re finally ready’ bit sounded so gorgeous with the orchestra, I had it stuck in my head for days. They slowed it down, and we had everyone on stage, and it was just beautiful. The perfect way to end the act, which was over way too soon, and I was already feeling sad about the show nearly being over even though there was so much good to come. Wait how could I forget to mention the ‘my hormones are freaking out’ bit. Fuck all of them for that. Even if I pretty much just watched Lauren with a quick glance at Joey, which is an accurate description of what I did for a lot of the show.

Intermission First quick thing to say, as much as I wish we’d heard some more full songs from the non-Potter shows, I think I like that they kept it separate. The first half was celebrating everything they achieved since where it all started for them, and the second half was pure nostalgia. And even though I wish it wasn’t the case, more people know the potter shows so it was kinda nice that everyone was even more united than they had been for the first half. Secondly, what I should have done during intermission was used the time to recover, because the show was a whole lot of excitement and emotions and I knew it was only going to get worse in the second half. But instead I yelled to the groupchat and met @starkidmelly. More JATP was played, everyone was buzzing, I couldn’t believe I was there. I think it was a long intermission but it did not feel it, Nick came out on stage and it’s like oh shit here we go again.

Nick’s speech He worried me because he said he wanted to take a minute to get sentimental, and I’d already cried a couple of times it was too early in the show to do it again. But then he just talked about the movie Starkid and how it was a bad movie and made us all laugh which I appreciated. What I really did love was how much people cheered for him when he came out, and also for Matt in the audience when Nick shouted him out. Especially on that first night the happiness on Nick’s face at everyone cheering made me want to cry it was so special and he deserves every bit of it and you could tell it still comes as a surprise even now. Also I’ll tag it on now because I don’t remember exactly at what point it was, but at some point in the second act Corey was telling people to stop filming, which kinda made me mad cause they’d asked people not to film and he looked so mad, but was also kinda funny because like, it’s one thing being stopped from filming by an usher but it’s a whole other thing being stopped by Corey Lubowich himself. I probably would have volunteered to leave the theatre if I disappointed Corey like that tbh. But anyway back to Nick, he introduced GBTH with the original cast of AVPM and everyone fucking lost it.

GBTH So you already know what you’re about to be blessed with and then you hear that opening note and people are impossibly screaming even louder and Darren comes onstage and crouches down and it’s like nothing has really changed at all. I’ve been in a room of people singing this song before and it was magical, but this was even more people and even more special. This is where it all started, and there we were ten years later. And it was so surreal actually hearing them sing this in person. Darren put the glasses on and people went insane. The amount of anticipation I felt for Joey’s entrance was ridiculous, and he got the cheers he deserved (almost. he always deserves more). And no matter how many times we see it or how long it’s been it always makes me feel a lot of feelings seeing Darren and Joey on stage singing this together. Joey messed up the floo powder a bit and it was cute. Still iconic. It was deafening when Bonnie came out, which I guess was to be expected we haven’t seen her in nine years. I will say that she did look genuinely happy to be there, and they looked genuinely happy to have her there. Plus the line ‘why do you have to be such a buzzkill’ was so much more funny with the irony of her pretty much bringing the house down. The nostalgia factor ramped up even more here and it was pretty awesome to have that original trio back on stage after so long. Again, so much but simultaneously so little had changed in ten years and trying to articulate those feelings would require a hundred page essay. I didn’t expect them to change the original but I still think they should have kept Lauren’s altered ‘that would be cool’ line. It’s better. But I digress. Jaime got to do her bit and it was a masterpiece. But rest in peace to the whole Cho Chang and Cedric bit, you were deeply missed. Lauren’s entrance, do I even need to say more? Fucking iconic as ever. One of the best moments in all of history. I’m glad they kept in most of the dialogue-y bits although I do not remember what her accent was like. People delivered on ‘whatever I say’ and I love how that’s become our thing. The train bit always makes me emotional, even more so this time with so many people old and new onstage. I always think of Lauren saying she hates the train move but she should have told her face that. Dylan did his entrance from the back of the theatre aka right by us and it was magnificent, he held the note all the way down to the front. They added in the lines about sorting here so Tyler got to do ‘hufflepuffs are particularly good finders’ which was a good choice they did good on that one, Dylan’s ‘what the hell is a hufflepuff’ was drowned out by people still cheering for Tyler, it was a pretty great moment. I may have cried a bit at ‘it’s all that I love and it’s all that I need’. Just a bit. I loved so much that they got everyone to be a part of this song.

Harry Freaking Potter Have I lost all my memories of this song? Maybe. I remember it being amazing. Predictably I watched Lauren a lot, it’s very hard not to she’s so cute when she’s dancing. It’s funny to me how they hold out the mics for the last ‘harry freaking potter’ but most people are already cheering so they get nothing. They should have learned by now.

To Have A Home Was possibly next? I know I got teary again pretty early on in the act (saved the full crying at this song for Friday though stay tuned). I know I’m very far from being the only person who felt the most at home I’ve ever felt. How can you not, surrounded by so much support and mutual love for these incredible people who’ve done so much for us. Starkid is a huge family and it’s tangible in moments like that. And ‘to know this is real’ hits hard. Especially because you can really feel it from Darren, as famous as he is now being on stage with his friends is truly home.

Different As Can Be There’s just something about this song that brings so much energy and Joe and Brian are an iconic duo. And they brought the Quirrelmort vibes strong. Loved everyone shouting ‘prevails’. I’m super glad they did the reprise too. The reaction when they go back to back is incredible. Also, Joe’s ‘Quirrell’ was impeccable. 

Coolest Girl I will say to Bonnie’s credit that she did a very good job opening this song, considering how many people were there and how much pressure there must have been seeing as she’s suddenly making a reappearance after so many years. And she did get a lot of love for it. But Meredith coming out to duet with her actually made me cry, she looked so happy and they did a cute little ‘hi’ and I really truly consider this Meredith’s song, even if she didn’t originally sing it, so I’m glad she got to do it. It was a special moment having them sing it together with no resentment or jealousy. And then Meredith confirmed that Bonnie was pregnant again at the end of the song.

Cho Chang Of course Darren sang this. Of course. What would a starkid show be without Darren playing his dumb songs on guitar. But nothing beats a room full of people shout-singing ‘that’s in canada’ (side note, why did this stick so much? every time I saw it on the map when I flew to Canada it’s all I could think of). But also, idk why Darren introduced this song by saying he wanted to test if we knew the words like buddy pretty sure we know the words to your songs better than you do but sure.

Hey Dragon More of Darren playing dumb songs on guitar but this is also a pretty fun song so we’re letting it slide. Also he did say that he didn’t want to do this song and said they should cut it to make time for better songs but that everyone else made him do it, which does not surprise me. He obviously had to call out his own songwriting abilities from ten years ago, it makes me laugh every time he does it but this time he really came for himself with how bad the rhyming was and how the lyrics are dumb. I love that he can’t get through the song without laughing because it is pretty stupid but we love it anyway. They trusted us on the ‘la la la’s and I think we came through. 

Granger Danger Okay. OKAY. So after all that Darren was like ‘let’s take it to a school dance’ which did not register for me at all because that song has gone way beyond that and now it’s just Joey and Lauren’s song. But then Darren’s playing it (which I found ??? sweet?? for some reason? idk it was good) and Joey and Lauren are on stage and I’m like here we fucking go. This is what I’m here for. Cannot begin to describe how happy I was to hear this song. I literally had said I refused to die before I heard them sing this live and now it will forever be one of the highlights of my life. The amount of power on that stage. Also the amount of attractiveness. They honestly are a power couple. The most iconic duo singing one of the most iconic songs. Their stage presence just blows me away. And it always makes me feel things too because they’ve done this song so many times and when they were first performing it they had no idea where they’d end up and now they’re fucking living the dream together and I can’t believe how far they’ve come. This is a hole we don’t need to go down though. It absolutely is a crime that they haven’t had more songs together but it does make this one particularly special because it’s fucking THEIR song and there’s no doubt they love performing together and their chemistry is so good anyway anyway I swear I’ll get back on track. This song with the orchestra??!? Holy shit you guys it sounded so good. They managed to take a song I love with every inch of me and make me love it even more. They came out and did a handshake because they’re fucking dorks. My heart genuinely felt like it was about to pump out of my chest, the adrenaline rush from seeing this live was crazy it’s a fucking experience. Joey was remarkably in character when it got to Lauren’s bit but she could not be in character for the life of her when he was singing my god she just did not give a fuck. Her heart eyes were off the charts I swear to god I couldn’t believe that dumb girl. Also Lauren was practically making love to her mic stand half the song which was honestly unnecessary but I love her. And her looking at her crotch murdered me. And then Joey was looking at her for most of the ending and she didn’t look at him once so she sucks. As always the last note was heavenly. When do we get a two hour concert version of this song??

Guys Like Potter Maybe came next? I love the apocalyptour arrangement of this song but it was nice to throw it back to the original and Tyler’s great. Joe tried? We’ll leave it at that.

Wizard Of The Year I think this followed after purely because of AJ saying something like ‘that’s enough about that Potter boy’?? And then he only went and did the whole fucking mouse monologue. And the entire time I was sat there having an internal conflict between ‘this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed’ and ‘they could have used this time to do climate change’. Honestly hearing him pull that out was wild. But then he sang the song and some of the girls came out to do the ‘gilderoy’ bit (which was the best part duh).

To Dance Again The beginning of this song is always iconic. Most important thing to say here is how I’m even more impressed now with Joe’s dancing after seeing what his ankle looked like. Also, hearing all the tapping (thudding) from the audience brings me inexplicable joy. Lauren ran on stage before her cue when Darren came off and had to book it back off and I feel a bit bad immortalising it because I’m sure she’s glad they weren’t filming that night. While we’re on the subject, the Thursday show was a little messy but like, there were no HUGE fuck ups apart from maybe Joe’s in MAMD and it was all surprisingly well rehearsed considering they’d had barely two days of rehearsal and they’re all so so impressive. Still think they should have had a 40 person kickline but the three person Joe Darren and Brosenthal kickline was still pretty good. Also, I remember someone doing a very cool harmony? It maybe sounded like Holden? His voice is underrated. 

Sidekick I cannot remember for the life of me if this is actually where this song goes?? I don’t remember if Joey went offstage or not. I just know that he ended up alone on stage and I damn near lost my mind. I know I’ve said it before but Joey’s performance of sidekick genuinely is a show stealer and I never in a million years thought I’d get to see it live so I feel extremely privileged that I did. God bless whoever included this in the setlist you have my eternal thanks. It’s what Joey deserves (and what I deserve). His voice!?! The high notes?!? Still love the irony of Joey singing this song. Classic cheering at ‘am I the hottest’ because yes you fucking are. He messed up a bit and sang ‘am I the one who takes you home’ twice but we love him. He absolutely killed it and being reminded that they’d not long got back from SDCC and finding out he had a fever made me even more impressed because you literally wouldn’t have known it.

Voldemort Is Going Down More on Joey continuing to kill it (but maybe not in this order). It was good to hear this song again, it slaps. And they all sounded so good too. And there was a super cool little piano riff at one point. This song makes everyone so hype I love it so much.

Everything Ends Haha tear time (jk just about managed to save them for Friday). But it is very much when things get sad because you can feel that the show’s coming to a close. This was Robert’s duet with a person he’d never sung with before and it sounded beautiful. We got the return of Joe’s snape voice or am I imagining that? I don’t remember what he said but I’m sure he said something and it probably made me sad. Literally the whole end of the show is just a blur because I couldn’t believe it was almost over so quickly.

Not Alone Jaime. Just, Jaime. Incredible every time she sings this song. Also, so many AVPW feelings because this is what they came out and sang and this song has been extra special to me since. So I was in tears from the get go tbh. God I’m really really really missing AVPW today so this is a lot just thinking about it. And personal feelings about Bonnie and also how much I love newer arrangements of not alone aside, it was unimaginably special to see the original four singing this together again. 

Days Of Summer We knew they’d save this to the end (or at least so we thought) but it was still a bit of an asshole move ngl. Like, do you enjoy our suffering? Seeing everyone on stage together singing this song that’s at the heart of starkid, if there was anyone who didn’t cry I applaud them. Darren gave a closing speech where he didn’t thank half the people he needed to because he hadn’t rehearsed. I wish I remembered more of what he said because it wasn’t exactly the same as Friday, it also didn’t make me cry half as much which I guess was a bonus. They did the little going back to hogwarts reprise probably partly to make us all feel a bit better and got everyone on their feet for it and as much as I never know which house to say I still love that moment of everyone yelling their house. Then they had “curtain call”, except they faked us out because Brian stayed on stage with his fist in the air and I’m like okay what are these idiots up to now. And Nick came out to tell him they sang all the songs and Voldemort’s dead, which of course meant ‘dead?! *skips stone*’ and we all needed that laugh. And then Joe came out and they did the ‘okay is good’ bit so I was sad again and god they really messed with our emotions. And everyone came back out and did the not alone reprise and literally stomped all over my heart because ten years ago they did the exact same thing, except now they were on a bigger stage with a bigger audience and a bigger family and they’ve all grown so much and achieved so many amazing things in their careers and their personal lives and they’ve grown up a lot but they’re still these college kids at heart who love performing with their friends and making people laugh and I didn’t want to leave my seat after they all walked offstage because it really felt like my soul had left my body and I was just completely emotionally drained. And unbelievably happy that I was getting to experience it all again the next day.

Friday 26th The one thing I have to say about the line this time round is shoutout to the kid handing out red vines, I don’t know how many people actually wanted one but it made me smile. As we were waiting in the lobby we saw Denise x2 (Joey’s mom still looked like the embodiment of kindness and Denise always seems so happy to be there I love them both).

Anyway when we got to our seats I just sat down and was internally screaming because we were So Close to the stage and I was like how on earth am I going to survive seeing this much beauty. Also I knew that some people had different outfits and I was trying to figure out if Lauren and Joey were wearing the same thing cause that was the most important thing so it was an anxious wait. Then when they came out being that close to the crop top nearly killed me and Joey looked even hotter in that red shirt than he did on Thursday so like, I want that image tattooed on my eyelids.

Oh and we saw MK, Sean, Sarah and Whitney up in the balcony before the show started. This is how the conversation went down... Sophie: is that MK up there? Me: I think so, that looks like Sean Sophie: it doesn’t look like Sean? (spoiler alert, it was Sean)

Also to quickly go back to the live atmosphere, Friday night was INSANE oh my god. Whether it was that it was the last show or whether it was being closer to the stage but the room was absolutely electric, it seemed like so many more people - including me this time - were singing and fucking reciting all the lines like it makes me so happy that we’re all fucking nerds who love these other nerds to death and memorise all their shows. As was my plan, the first night I took everything in and then the second night I just got to enjoy it and make the most of it. So the Thursday show it was kind of like I was observing everything but Friday I was LIVING it, and I really was living. It was a fucking party. And I could anticipate what was coming and it somehow made it even more exciting than witnessing everything fresh for the first time. I was literally sat there having the time of my life for two hours and I hope they all saw it, they would have just seen me with a huge fucking grin the whole time (apart from when I was crying we’re not talking about that rn). Maybe the most fun I’ve ever had. It made all the money I’d spent to get there 10000% worth it because as amazing as the DVD is going to be and you bet I’m getting it (well the digital download shipping’s an outrage), you can’t buy the atmosphere in the room and it was incredible to be there.

Okay y’all know the drill now so this is gonna be quickfire:

Act 1

Seeing everyone doing their crazy eyes in TGWDLM up close was an EXPERIENCE. Jon was a stand out. Also Jaime. Being so much closer the energy was so much higher for Join us and die. I think that was really my main thing about Friday, aside from how emotions were even higher, was how crazy the energy was it was SO MUCH FUN. And Robert is pretty great.

Have I mentioned Lauren’s look nearly killing me? Yes? Good. The gay came out full force in Firebringer. Lo’s talent is out of this world and I feel so lucky to have witnessed it live.

So many more people sang for Lauren in Naked in a lake and she looked so happy my baby. I made eye contact with her at one of the points she was holding the out mic for the audience to sing so I’m glad she saw me (quietly but extremely enthusiastically) singing my heart out for her. Joey made Lauren laugh when they were dancing during speedrun and it’s the most adorable shit I’ve ever seen. Those two are genuinely in their own world half the time they’re on stage together and I live for it.

Carlos wasn’t there this night so I think Dylan should have filled in for his verse of 1001 nights but my ideas are worthless right? Oh have I mentioned how much I live for over a thousand people yelling tigerfucker? And Robert smashed ‘he fucked a tiger’. Also I’m sure they did it the first night too but I noticed even more Denise and Meredith encouraging everyone to cheer when Joe was doing the dialogue bit I adore them.

Brant got so out of time on I wanna be my god Joey looked like he was trying to telepathically tell him to slow down but he never really recovered. But the chaotic energy felt appropriate? It’s not a starkid show without a mess up.

Joe’s MAMD entrance was more controlled this time but honestly it’s a shame the fuck up won’t be on the filmed version because it was definitely a highlight (I hope you’re okay Joe). Mere and Brian had their arms round each other when they were singing ready to go and I was hit with the ‘oh my god they’re getting MARRIED’ feels. Look how far they’ve come. They were also making faces at each other during one song, I don’t remember which one, and giving Joey and Lauren a run for their money for being in their own world. Still not nearly as bad though.

Intermission 

I remember even less of this intermission than the first one. I was just in total shock. Also when we came back from the intermission Nick went ‘two people just got engaged’ and almost literally stopped my heart like I KNOW that’s not how it’s gonna happen but where did he expect me to go with it. And then he wanted to be reminded of their names but someone shouted ‘Joe and Traci’ so he had to be like ‘no I’m not talking about them’ which made me laugh a lot.

Act 2

GBTH was somehow even better this time round. It’s actually a spiritual experience. 100% my happy place. Also Joey didn’t have the headband the first night and I didn’t know I needed it until he came out wearing one on Friday, it was weirdly emotional.

To have a home was worse this time around because I had to come to the realisation that I was gonna leave this home behind. That’s always the worst part, it was the same with AVPW, it’s not just that I miss it it’s also that it’s this happy, safe little bubble where everything feels okay and it’s so sad to lose that. So yeah, cried a lot this time. Also Darren went offstage on Thursday too in the instrumental but this time he went offstage and ran round to the other side to come back on which was so much better good job Darren.

When Lo and Joey shook hands for granger danger they both had such cute smiles my HEART. Lauren still had heart eyes for Joey singing, she was just stood there grinning at him the whole time she loves him so much jesus christ. Also she was staring at him when they were both singing the ‘falling in love’ bit just saying. And they got super close to each other for the end but kept alternating looking at the other person and the audience so they were never actually looking at each other and it KILLED me I hate them. I also didn’t even think twice about singing Lauren’s part during granger danger until halfway through oops and now I kind of want to apologise, Mr Joey Richter I love you.

You could tell there were a fair few people in the audience who’d seen one or both of the other shows and knew what was coming so actually shouted out ‘what’s your fantasy’ when AJ was working up to the mouse monologue which made it even better. It was just as insane and funny the second time, but I still couldn’t believe they actually put it in there.

Back to Mr Joey Richter, he brought the house down with sidekick even more than on Thursday. He’s so talented y’all. You’d expect more cheering for ‘am I the one who takes you home’ but the urge for everyone to yell ‘definitely not’ is too much and it cracks me up. And he pointed at the very least in my direction when he sang the last ‘I love being at your side’ so I’ll take it for SURE.

They got everyone standing even earlier on in the show (during voldemort is going down) and I just felt a sense of elation, the whole show but at this point in particular, because everyone was there having a fucking amazing time and pouring out so much love, from our direction and from theirs, and I feel like that song really does do what it’s supposed to and make us feel united.

Everything ends made me cry a lot because it actually was the end this time, and starkid have some fucking heart wrenching goodbye songs that are supposed to make you feel better but really don’t at all. Not alone made me cry more, obviously. Days of summer was so much worse because it really was goodbye, me having to say goodbye to seeing them and one of the best experiences of my life, them having to say goodbye to each other. SO. MANY. TEARS.

Random point, Lauren looked so fucking cute when she came out in her varsity jacket with the sleeves pushed up because it was too big for her I just wanted to hug her.

Joey and Lauren kept looking at each other during Darren’s speech, Joey in particular kept trying to catch Lo’s eye which killed me he’s too soft. And Lauren pulled a face at the mention of a twenty year reunion like she felt way too old for that and he was smiling at her I hate them. 

There were a lot of tears, Joey and Tiffany especially and Lauren pulled her trying not to cry face. In the speech Darren said something about starkid bringing about this group of friends and Joey’s wide eyed already-crying-but-trying-not-to-cry-even-more-face was both heartbreaking and funny and I hope it makes it onto the DVD. I don’t remember much else of the speech other than that it was incredibly emotional and it very well summed up a lot of what we were all feeling about the show and how special starkid was. Also I made eye contact with Joey when we were both crying and we smiled at each other (tried to) and honestly that was a bonding moment for us.

And we saw Bob and Denise on our way out which caused a whole lot more feelings because those are their kids up there performing with all their other honorary kids and yep we’re done here.

I don’t really know how to bring this all to a neat end. I don’t really think there is one. It’s an experience that can’t fully be put into words, the emotions it brought up aren’t ones that I can properly label, and it’s going to stick with me forever. But it was a reminder of how special starkid is. Watching their shows at home, scrolling through their social media, of course it brings me so much joy it’s my reason for living. But getting to see them live and feel the impact they’ve had on so many people? Getting to do it with a friend I made because of them? I just wish I had the words or the time to give them the thanks I wish I could. I really hope they felt the sheer, deep love we all feel for them over those two days.

Anyway, I know this was way too long and half of it wasn’t information people care about but I’m done now. And I’m so excited for the DVD and (hopefully) album so I can experience it all again!

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 25

25: Diva

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Paris Barclay

Overall Thoughts: The entertainment value in this episode is fantastic. Part of why it’s so high up in my list is because I genuinely feel it’s one of Glee’s strongest episodes. Something you will already know if you’ve read my previous reviews is that something I greatly value in an episode is how obvious it is that Glee is an ensemble show. Here, we get four fantastic storylines, all of which are given equal screen time. I love when Glee does this, because 1) it means the show isn’t entirely focusing on Rachel and 2) it gives every viewer a little bit of something. Don’t like Kurt and Rachel? That’s okay, because they’re only 25% of the episode. Tired of the Blaine/Tina stuff? All good! It’s just 25% of the episode. Plus, from a subjective point of view, I enjoy all the storylines this episode. Also, no newbies, and no Finchel drama.  So extra bonus for that! Oh, and also, the music is fantastic.

What I Like:

As already mentioned, this episode is divided up into four stories, and they all get equal screen time (or, at least they do a good job of making it seem that way). Unlike “Dream On”, though, which also followed a similar format, this episode manages to include many of its protagonists throughout the stories. I mean, Blaine, Tina, Kurt, Rachel, Brittany, Santana, Sam, Emma, and Finn all get the spotlight, and Sue, Artie and Unique get some moments too. Compare that to just Will, Bryan, Rachel, Jesse, Tina, and Artie with a little bit of Shelby in “Dream On”. It just makes for a stronger episode.

THE MUSIC. I’ll talk about that more later.

Kurt calling Rachel the fuck out, and putting her in her place. As I’ve mentioned before, it can be exhausting sometimes watching Rachel just get everything handed to her time and time again, so its nice to see her lose every now and again.

Rachel is the one who apologizes to Kurt, and not the other way around. Although I do have issues with that final scene between them, I do really appreciate that they didn’t make Kurt apologize for making Rachel see she is not the only talented person in the world. Even though the scene completely revolved around her and making her feel better, Rachel was still the one who said she was sorry, therefore admitting that Kurt was right to knock her down a peg.

In a similar vein, it’s refreshing to see Rachel acknowledge her flaws, and for once actually vocalize that she has a serious problem of putting her ambition before her friendships. It sucks that this doesn’t stick and that by the time she does achieve fame she becomes exactly what she was so afraid of becoming – and unapologetically so.

Kurt is so epically sassy in this episode oh my god. One of my all time favourite Kurt Hummel episodes. The way he so easily destroys Rachel, and her legion of sycophants makes my life.

There’s only like, one scene with them, but I always thought Kurt and Adam were cute.

I really appreciated that they included Rachel telling those two guys that Kurt earned his spot at NYADA just as much as they did. Like I already said, it’s nice when she actually manages to put her friendships above of her ambition.

Emma’s giant-ass wedding to-do list.

“I know Will trusts me, but I’m a Libra. I can’t do this.”

Finn helping Emma out with her wedding stuff, and Emma helping Finn out as well. They make a good team, those two!

The scene at the end where Brittany tells Santana that she isn’t going to break up with Sam. Glee has a really serious problem when they write love triangles, and that is that very often they take away the agency of whoever is being “fought” over (Exhibit A: Jake, Ryder, and Marley). They do that here, but they do include a scene where Brittany takes her agency back. She makes a decision, and she stands by it. Even though season four Brittany drives me up the fucking wall, you can already see the hints of maturity she will gain by season five.

Although most of her actions are questionable in this episode, it is cute that Santana wants to take the job with Sue just to be closer to Brittany.

Sam sticking up for Brittany and their relationship (even if I don’t really understand why given how the events in “Naked” unfolded).

Blaine is the fucking cutest. Don’t even talk to me. When Tina calls him a “precious Tiger Beat shrinky dink” I almost died because what a fucking accurate description of Blaine Anderson.

His little smirk after “Don’t Stop Me Now”, plus his continuous repition of “um, guys can be divas” is the fucking best.

Sam saying he won’t hit a girl always makes me laugh cause like, lmao, bitch thinks he can beat Santana fucking Lopez in a fight.

Tina’s sassy “Don’t even worry about it” after absolutely killing “Hung Up”.

Tina winning the Diva-Off and Brittany shouting “She never wins anything!”

I actually think the Emma and Finn kiss made for excellent shock value.

Tina is in both my likes and dislikes of this episode. As you may have gleaned from past reviews, I’m basically the only person on the planet who actually enjoyed Tina’s take-charge attitude season four onward, and in a lot of ways felt it very merited. I mean, her reaction to seeing Santana show up yet again? It’s fair. She sat in the back of Glee for three fucking years, watching Rachel win solo after solo (and the few she didn’t get go to Mercedes, Santana, and Kurt), and barely complained. Now, it’s her turn. It’s her senior year. And who keeps getting the spotlight? A fucking sophomore, and a girl who doesn’t even attend the school anymore. It’s totally fair that she’s annoyed. It’s fair that she wants to be the girl who kicks down the door and gets what she wants. I think she was completely in her right to act the way she did in this specific regard. However…

What I Don’t Like:

… I hate that the thing she is taking charge of is her desire to be in a relationship with Blaine rather than her desire to be the star of the glee club. Again, I am probably one of the only people who wasn’t annoyed when they first introduced the Tina crushing on Blaine storyline, but by the time I was finished with this episode, I was done. They turned it from “this is something that happens so we want to showcase that” into “I deserve the love of this gay man because I did something he never asked me to do”. Blaine didn’t ask Tina to look after him, and therefore its kind of ridiculous that she would be so upset that he didn’t fall into her arms because of it. Also, she’s acting like he told her to go fuck herself once he got better, which isn’t what happened. He thanked her. He helped her pick out a song. He can be seen very clearly enjoying her performance of “Hung Up”. So why the hell did Glee make Tina act like she somehow deserved his romantic love? She knew he was gay. He literally just reminded her that he was gay and would never be interested in women in this very episode. I hate that they went in this direction with this story, because honestly? It could have been one of their sweetest, most relatable storylines. I mean, who hasn’t fallen in love with someone who can’t love them back? But instead they acted as though Blaine was the bad guy even though Tina literally rubbed vapo-rub on his chest while he was fucking asleep (to this day I have to look away when that scene comes on because it makes me genuinely furious). So like, on one hand I can appreciate what they were doing with Tina’s character, but on the other hand I simply cannot support her behaviour in this episode. It’s absolutely appalling, and the fact that Blaine not only apologizes to her, but asks her to be his date to Will and Emma’s wedding, effectively rewarding her for her terrible behaviour? God, it pisses me off. I’m so glad he blows her off to make out with Kurt in the next episode.

On top of all of that, Tina also makes both homophobic and transphobic comments in this episode. It’s so annoying to dislike Tina in an episode that I otherwise enjoy so fucking much, because she’s legit one of my favourite characters. I just really hate how they dealt with this whole thing.

Sue’s racist comment about Santana’s mom.

Santana and Sam basically taking Brittany’s desires out of the equation by fighting about her via song, as though Brittany dating Sam wasn’t enough indication of who she was going to chose.

While what I said in the above section about the Kurt/Rachel end scene still stands, it has always annoyed me that Rachel threw such a massive fucking pity party after losing literally one competition to her best fucking friend that said best friend – whose entire goal in this episode was to knock her down a peg – has to build her back up and basically say “fuck everything I said before, you’re the most amazing person ever and the world should revolve around you always”. At least he didn’t apologize.

That comment Rachel makes about all of her confidence being built on beating Kurt in “Wheels”. See, this is why I have such a hard time with Hummelberry. What kind of fucked up friendship is built on the foundation of “All of my confidence comes from the fact that I am better than you” like what the literal fuck?!

This isn’t a huge one, but I think the episode would have had stronger shock value if the Finn/Emma scene came after “Girl on Fire”. I think ending on that note would have left the audience with the biggest shock. Having a whole other scene and musical performance after just kind of softens the blow.

Songs:

Diva: Starting off strong with a fantastic group number. Unique kills it, of course, as does Tina. When they first revealed who would be singing this song, I thought Brittany was an odd choice to include, but she honestly sounds fantastic. My only wish is that you could hear Blaine more than you can. Also, I find Kitty and Marley kind of hilarious in this performance, because it’s so obvious that they are not on the same level as the other four. I don’t actually know why they felt the need to include them.

Don’t Stop Me Now: An awesome song, and an awesome cover. It also makes me incredibly happy that Blaine chose this particular song to prove that guys can be divas. It’s not just him that’s the diva, it’s Freddie Mercury as well. Such a fantastic choice.

Nutbush City Limits: This is the only song I’m not so crazy about. I think Santana sounds a bit odd in this song, like its just slightly out of her range and she’s straining a bit too hard to reach it. Also, I know this song is technically considered Rock, but it has a bit too much of a country vibe for me.

Make No Mistake (She’s Mine): I’m not a fan of the actual lyrics of this song, as the two singers are literally fighting about someone who is clearly cheating on both of them. That being said, Sam and Santana sound absolutely fantastic together, and I really enjoy the flow of this song.

Bring Him Home: Another strong song. I think Kurt was way better than Rachel, but that’s just me. My only frustration is that Rachel gets the final note. It feels like she always gets the last say in these things.

Hung Up: This is probably Tina’s strongest solo in the entire course of the show. She absolutely kills it, and the performance is amazing. It’s too bad that there’s such shitty motive behind it, but seriously, this song is amazing.

Girl on Fire: A really strong vocal performance, with a mediocre visual performance. Why was Glee so obsessed with having people sing in the auditorium and in the choir room? The end of it is good, with her finally leaving McKinley behind and going to New York, but the beginning is so lackluster. It’s disappointing considering what an amazing cover of an already amazing song it is.

Final Thoughts: I know there seems to be a lot of negatives in this review considering how high up this episode is on my list, but honestly, its one of my favourites. Obviously there’s stuff I don’t like, but the stuff I do like far outweighs the stuff I don’t. Plus, it’s just a strong episode, even from an objective standpoint.

[archivistsrock]

The Boys in the Band, pt. 2: The Performance

Someone asked for a spoilery review, so I’m going to go into detail here. Maybe a mix of review, plot, and specific cute/hot things that happen during the show. I don’t really consider anything in the show to be “spoilery”, but if you’re planning on seeing this and just love surprises and not knowing anything about what’s to come...don’t read this, I guess. ;) [eta: Okay, so it seems like it’s mostly plot overview with random other observations sprinkled in. I’m not good at this! Also, I go into much more detail about the first half...it’s funnier, has more Matt, and I just peetered out]

Also, read on if you want deets on just how much Matt we see during the shower scene… :P

The general plot of the play is that Michael (Jim Parsons) is holding a birthday party for his friend Harold (Zachary Quinto). The entire play takes place in Michael’s apartment. There is an upstairs (bedroom and bathroom) and a downstairs (living room, mostly). If your seats are really close to the front of the stage, there will be some parts of the upstairs that will be blocked from your view. But they’ve cleverly placed mirrors on the ceiling, so what you can’t see straight-on, you can see in reflections. It’s not a problem at all. I was in the second row and was really worried I’d be too close and have obstructed sightlines, but I LOVED IT. You’re so close to the actors; it’s pretty amazing. I wouldn’t change my seats if given the chance. I think if I was able to see it again, I’d like to have a mezzanine seat. But I wouldn’t give up my up-close seat for the world. It was awesome. For...reasons...if you’re near the front, I think being left of center is better than to the right. Just as a tip, if you haven’t bought tickets yet.

Donald (Matt Bomer) is Michael’s best friend from college. He moved out of the city because he couldn’t handle all the people and stresses of city life. Donald is depressed. Loves to read. Likes to chill on the sidelines and just watch other people. He’s very caring. I totally dig Donald. He’s...a janitor? and works hard, but also has issues with failure that he attributes to his parents. He equates failure with receiving love. He’s known he was gay since forever. He drives into the city each weekend to see his therapist and visit Michael. He knows the other men that are invited to the party, but he isn’t in their friend group. He knows them bc he knows Michael, iykwim. He and Harold don’t seem to particularly like each other. Maybe bc they’re both best friends of Michael so there’s some competition/protectiveness?? idk. Haven’t thought about it enough.

Michael lives beyond his means. He’s also pretty depressed and has issues with being gay. I mean, that’s a huge theme of the play. How these guys deal with living in a time and place where society clearly doesn’t support or approve of homosexuality. As many of the actors have said in interviews, it’s interesting to see the play and notice how much things have changed, but also how many things in the play still resonate today. Oh, I guess it’s important to point out that it takes place in 1968.

The play starts with Michael in his apartment getting ready for the party. His doorbell rings and Donald enters. ::raucous applause:: The next 15 minutes (I’m really bad with time, so don’t take too much stock in that) is Michael and Donald talking with one another about their parents, lives, etc. General banter of friends. Donald notices that Michael is not drinking alcohol and hasn’t been for the last few weeks. He can tell because Michael gets mean when he’s drunk (keep this in mind). Michael says his therapist encouraged him to lay off drinking bc it’s obviously becoming a problem for him.

It’s been a long day and Donald needs a shower. ::extremely raucous applause:: So Matt strips down to his undies and walks around a bit. Lays on a bed. Adjusts himself. Lots of this is only seen through the mirrors on the ceiling. Not sure about people in the mezzanine? They might be able to just see him laying there, idk. Then he wanders to the shower and strips...ALL THE WAY DOWN to shower. So yes. Not only do we see Matt’s ass, but we see his dick, too. Where I was sitting, I only saw it in reflections, but still. HEY THERE, MATT’S DICK! :P Whether or not other people in different seats see more or less of him, I’m not sure. This is why I say that the left is better than the right. The shower is on the right side of the stage, and there’s a sink/pedestal in front of the shower. So I think some people’s view of Matt in the shower is blocked by the sink? I was at enough of an angle where it wasn’t a problem. People were literally gasping. LOLOL.  The theater was definitely a-twitter. Lol. [random aside that I saw Angels in America during this trip, and in that play Lee Pace gets naked and just walks around the stage in the buff, so I guess it was my week for seeing ass and penis on stage? Lol]

Then he gets out and puts on a towel and walks around in that for a while, which is nice. Then he goes into the bedroom and changes and you can see him in his undies briefly (lol pun) again. So anyway, THAT HAPPENS. Lol

While Matt is showering and getting ready, Michael’s phone rings. It’s his old college roommate, Alan (Brian Hutchison) who’s having a breakdown of some sort and wants to come over and talk to Michael. The problem? Alan is straight (or is he??) and “square” and doesn’t know that Michael is gay.  Which is a problem bc a bunch of gay men are about to descend on Michael’s apt. Michael tells him to quickly come over with the hope that he will arrive and leave before too many people show up (lol right).  But honestly, who’s listening to Michael at this point bc OMG MATT IS NAKED. Seriously, I think I just stared at Matt for 95% of the show regardless of who was talking. Lol. It helped that I read the play beforehand and watched the movie so I knew what was going on.  ;)

So Michael tells Donald that Alan is coming over and warns him that Alan doesn’t know he’s gay so don’t act gay. Donald is mildly offended and has a funny line about sitting with his legs spread and talking in a deep register. Lol. But anyway, Jim and Matt are great together and you can really see their friendship (well, Michael and Donald’s friendship). They’re very funny together. The doorbell rings and we all think it’s going to be Alan, but it’s the first of the party guests – Larry (Andrew Rannells), Hank (Tuc Watkins), and Emory (Robin de Jesus). Hank and Larry are a couple (with issues). Emory is unapologetically flamboyant. He is hilarious. So Hank was married (he’s in the process of getting divorced) and has 2 kids. He’s the most stereotypically masculine of the group. He’s bi, “with a definite  lean in one direction” (hint: not chicks). He’s a math teacher. The oldest of the group. He’s dating Larry, who’s a bit of a man-whore (and a commercial artist). Larry doesn’t believe in monogamy, and this makes Hank sad. So this is a running issue between the two throughout the night. Andrew is hilarious in the play. He has GREAT facial expressions and reactions.

So Michael introduces everyone and it’s a bit awkward between Larry and Donald. Clearly, they have some sort of history (spoiler alert that’s pretty obvious: They “know” each other because they fucked in the baths once, but never spoke to one another. Yes, they enjoyed their fuck). Throughout the night, Larry is continuously coming on to Donald. Leaning into his space, stroking his arm, etc. It’s pretty great.

Doorbell rings again. Michael warns everyone about Alan and to PLEASE ACT STRAIGHT. Cue lots of hilarity with Emory who is just not into pretending to be butch. So he opens the door...and it’s not Alan. It’s Bernard (Michael B. Washington). Bernard is black (relevant to later parts of the play). He works at the library (a bookstore? Can’t recall which now). Anyway, he knows Donald bc he’s always supplying Donald with books. Lots of comments on how Donald reads a shit-ton. Bernard is besties with Emory.

More hilarity and banter ensues. There is a song and dance number (Donald does not participate, but Matt looks cute standing there and he does cute mini hand/arm motions). While they’re all dancing and being silly, the doorbell rings, but no one hears it but Hank, who goes to open the door and...it’s Alan. So he walks in on all the guys doing a choreographed dance. AWKWARD. Michael is all...”Uh...we’re just being silly!” haha. Yeah. More introductions. Emory is Emory and is pissing Michael off with his refusal to stop being camp. Alan takes to Hank because he’s the most traditionally masculine. Hank and Alan talk about their kids and Larry is getting increasingly pissed bc Hank is hiding the fact that he’s gay and with Larry (although they’re all—poorly-- hiding the fact that they’re gay). Michael goes upstairs to speak with Alan and what his breakdown/problem is.

So the action shifts to upstairs, but we can still see everyone downstairs. So they’re all acting like they’re at the party and are fake talking, etc. This is when Larry really gets into Donald’s space. He’s pissed at Hank because Hank are Alan were being all chummy. So he’s taking it out on Hank by being extra flirty with Donald. Donald isn’t really..opposed?...to it, but he’s maybe a little confused and awkward about it bc...hello?!? Hank is here? What even...? lol.

So upstairs, Alan decides he doesn’t want to talk about his issue and instead talks about how attractive Hank is. Lol. He also likes Donald. Alan’s been downing drinks (Donald is kind of the unofficial drink maker) and he’s drunk. Then he gets all homophobic and says shitty things about Emory. Michael gets a little pissed and goes downstairs while Alan stays upstairs in the bathroom.

Downstairs, the doorbell rings. Michael answers it, expecting it to be Harold (the birthday boy who is clearly very late). It’s a young studly guy dressed as a cowboy (Charlie Carver) who sings Happy Birthday to Michael and kisses him. Oops! Wrong guy! Cowboy is Emory’s gift to Harold. Harold was supposed to answer the door. But cowboy is early (you’re supposed to show up at midnight bc you’re a midnight cowboy!) and Harold is late, so...yeah. Didn’t work out. Then Alan comes downstairs and thinks Cowboy is Harold. Emory says, “No, he’s FOR Harold.” Alan is increasingly hostile and Emory is done with the fucking charades. Emory makes a comment about Alan’s wife, and Alan goes fucking berserk and starts punching Emory while calling him a bunch of gay slurs. Alan is pulled off Emory who is bleeding. Chaos is breaking out. The doorbell rings. Donald answers it and in walks Harold (Zach).

Harold is quite the character. He used to be a professional ice skater. He describes himself as an “ugly, pockmarked Jew fairy”.  He’s high. He’s very sardonic. He looks around and it’s like...WTF is happening? Lol. Alan is passed out on the floor. Emory has blood all over his face. Cowboy sings happy birthday to Harold, kisses him, then Harold reads the card tied to him and starts laughing hysterically.  (this technically ends the first act in the play, but there’s no intermission or anything so the action keeps going)

[Note Larry leaning into Donald’s space in the background]

Bernard and Emory go upstairs to clean up. Up until this point, the play has been really really funny. The general tone is pretty light and humorous. At this point, the tone starts to change dramatically. At some point, I don’t remember exactly when, this change is made blatantly clear by the lights going dim, and all the action on stage freezes, aside from Michael. He heads to the bar and pours and downs a drink. Remember what Donald said about Michael when he’s drunk? MEAN. So this marks the turning point. Light go back up, action resumes. [I’m not sure what I think about them doing it this way, but it hammers the point home that Michael is now drinking and things are about to get dark, so eh. Whatever. ] Michael gets increasingly asshole-ish. You really start to hate Michael.

Alan declares he’s going to puke, so Hank leads him upstairs to the bathroom. Michael and Harold exchange barbs. You really start to wonder why they’re friends. Every time Michael takes a drink, Harold proclaims, “Turning!” Like Donald, he knows alcohol turns Michael into an asshole. Michael is getting drunker and meaner and Harold is not one to just put up with things.  If something gets dished out, he’ll deal it right back ten-fold. But while brutally honest, he’s not being as downright cruel as Michael, who even starts throwing racist remarks at Bernard and cruel comments to Emory (which really horrifies Donald).

Alan comes downstairs and proclaims his intention to leave, and bizarrely announces that Hank should leave with him. This leads to the announcement that Hank and Larry and lovers, and basically the charade is up and hey! We’re all gay; and btw, we think you are too, Alan. Michael won’t let anyone leave and invents a “party game” for them all to play. Basically, you have to call someone that you’ve truly loved. You get different amounts of points for various things – if someone answers, you say who you are, you get the person on the line that you want to speak with, you tell them you love them. A total of 10 possible points. Donald and Harold are immediately like, YEAH NO. Not playing. So Bernard and Emory both call people. Does not turn out particularly well. I literally cried for Bernard. Michael B. Washington does a phenomenal job.

Hank and Larry have it out again, but they end up calling each other, saying they love each other, and going upstairs to have sex in Michael’s bedroom.

Michael starts harassing Alan and telling him he should call their other college roommate, Justin, that Michael is convinced Alan was in love with. He’s in total asshole mode. Alan dials a number and ends up telling the person he loves them. Michael grabs the phone assuming it’s Justin..it’s not. It’s his wife.

Alan leaves. The mood of the party has degenerated into a total morose atmosphere. Harold just goes off on Michael with a huge truth bomb about how self-loathing Michael is and how badly he doesn’t want to be gay, but guess what? You’re gay and you’ll always be gay. He then takes off with Cowboy. Emory and Bernard (who is super drunk by this point) then leave, and Michael has a breakdown. He basically starts hyperventilating and is comforted by Donald. He pulls himself together and leaves to go to a midnight mass. Donald stays behind to read a bit, after assuring Michael that he’ll be back next weekend. The play ends with Donald reading and the silhouette of Hank and Larry making love upstairs in bed.

So yeah, I was much more brief when it came to the second half, in part bc it’s not as much “fun.” It’s much more dramatic. Very good, but not as fun to retell, and as far as Matt goes, aside from the end scene, he kind of disappears in the second half. I mean, he’s physically present and had lines, but there is definitely more focus on the other characters. He kinda just hangs in the periphery watching everything go down. And silently flirting with Larry lol.

All the characters do a stellar job. Charlie Carver/The Cowboy has the smallest role. He’s basically a big dummy, and provides some comic relief with his idiocy and innocence.  Tuc (Hank) does a great job, but his role isn’t as humorous or flashy as the others. Michael B. Washington is great as Bernard, and I was really feeling for him at the end. He has a great monologue that delves into race and slurs. He and Emory have a touching moment. Robin de Jesus is hilarious as Emory. Jim does a good job as insecure Michael. Apparently, he wears special shoes during the show because of his broken foot. I would not have known anything was wrong with his foot. He’s pretty spry walking around that stage. He does a good job playing a mean asshole. Lol. Andrew has hilarious reactions and facial expressions. Zach is hilarious as Harold. Very sarcastic and kind of deadpan? He has a very interesting way of speaking. Harold is super weird, and Zach does a super job. He comes in late in the play, but has an integral part once he arrives. And I love Donald. His role is definitely not as flashy as some of the others, but I feel you really get to know and like Donald.

You laugh A LOT during the first half of the show. You still have funny moments in the second half, but it is also more shocking and dramatic. Pretty thought provoking. And thinking about the time period that this play takes place in (1968) and how tough it was to be out (or not out) at that time, and looking on stage at the all gay cast...it’s a pretty special feeling. They look like they probably have a blast on stage every night.

I happened to be there on Zach’s actual birthday, which was funny because it’s his character’s birthday in the play. When Matt opens the door and it’s Zach standing there, the first line Donald says is, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Harold.” He said it VERY pointedly and I was like !!!!!!!! So that was special. Oh! A Matt insta post:

If you aren’t going to be able to see it, you can watch the original movie. Obviously, it’s not as cool as seeing your faves in the role, but the original play, movie, and the revival are all very faithful to each other. Same dialogue and everything. The movie does add a few scenes at the beginning outside of Michael’s apartment, and some of the movie takes place outside on a balcony instead of all inside, but those are very minor details. I think they cut out a few lines of dialogue in the revival so they could cut down on the time, but offhand I don’t recall what they cut out. I’ll have to read the play again. So you’ll hear all the stuff that happens and all the funny lines and stuff that they say in the play. Then you can envision Matt in the role of Donald. I like Matt’s portrayal of Donald better than the original actor’s, but OBVIOUSLY I am biased. lol

[ts1989fanatic]

Spencer Pratt Reviews Taylor Swift's Reputation Tour

"If the world felt more like a Taylor Swift concert, I don't think there would be wars."

If you've paid any attention to Spencer Pratt's Snapchat in the last eight months or so, then you know he's one of Taylor Swift's biggest fans, if not the biggest. On Saturday, he finally got to live his dream of seeing Reputation performed live, when he attended Taylor's show at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena with his wife Heidi and their son Gunnar. It was the first time Spencer had ever seen Taylor, but he's already thinking about rearranging his schedule so he can go see her in Colorado. Here, Spencer weighs in on everything from the openers to the costumes to Taylor's mid-concert surprise guests.

On the opening acts, Charli XCX and Camila Cabello

"My only issue is I wish the openers just covered Taylor songs. I kept thinking they would be so good if they were singing Taylor songs."

On meeting Taylor

"Right when Camila Cabello is winding down, I'm like, 'Oh my god, I don't think we're gonna meet Taylor, she's gotta go on stage.' And then I get an email like, 'We're coming to get you guys, stay in your seats.' Then we go backstage and Taylor's mom talked about how wild it is that we met Taylor ten years ago...and we're still in each other's lives. I was like, 'We're in Taylor's life? AHHHH!' Taylor brought up my hummingbirds and was talking about what a pure love it is. Then it hit me, I was like, 'Are you on Snapchat?' And she's like, 'No.' She only knows my IG story. I was like, 'Oh my god, I'm quitting Snapchat again.' So Taylor in her freakin' robe in her dressing room, holding Miracle Baby. I'm gonna have to have Heidi talk."

Heidi: "So we get in there and they're so nice offering to take the photos, and then I put Miracle Baby in her arms and he was so happy. He loved her. She held him for a while and he's really heavy, so I think she was probably like, 'OK, here's your baby! I’m not babysitting, I’m about to go on stage!'"

"I just run right in and I'm like, Please take Miracle Baby! Give him your energy!' My dad can't even hold Miracle Baby, he's so heavy. I could have gone home for the rest of my life happy right then and the show hadn't even started. She literally left us and walked on stage. I started thinking she's not a human. That's the level."

On the opening number

"She has this like trailer going off about all the media [that starts the show]. It's kind of like a little highlight sizzle reel about how the media was turning on her, like a little movie. It got me so pumped up. I was like, — sorry media — 'I HATE YOU MEDIA, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO TAYLOR?!' And then this ghost says, 'REPUTATION,' and then it's like, [sings opening notes of "...Ready for It?"] 'Are you ready for it?' Then '...Ready for It?' drops and it's like, oh my god. The album is insane bumping loud in your car on eight espressos, but two skinny margaritas, front row, when that goes off? I swear to god I thought I was gonna explode.

I didn't realize until last night, but her album is designed for a stadium tour. It’s designed for that level of sound and light. The coolest part about getting there at 12:00 is watching hundreds and hundreds of 18-wheelers with the Reputation art on them loading in. It looked like she was invading Pasadena. My heart's pounding right now thinking about it.

It was easily the most fun at an event I've had in my whole life, times 100. And the fact that I'm looking over and Miracle Baby's got his headphones on, right there, like could reach out and touch Taylor. He's listened to this album as much as I have. He's a real fan! It was just so magical."

On his run-in with Taylor's security

"I had the most realistic dream a couple months ago [where] Taylor grabbed my phone from me and did a Snapchat with my phone, and that ended up happening. Then also in that dream, Taylor's security jumped over a fence and tackled me. They thought I was some crazed super stan. I told people all this stuff months ago, I’m not making this up."

Heidi: "I heard!"

"Heidi heard. But last night out of nowhere, all this security and the sheriffs jump over the fence and surround me and grab my diaper bag that I'm carrying. Like, 'How did you get this backpack in the building?' It's not really a diaper bag, I just call it the diaper bag because I put diapers in it, but it's the biggest Gucci backpack you can buy. Keep in mind you're only allowed to have a clutch the size of, like, a sticker, or a clear handbag the size of a sticker. It couldn't look more suspicious. And I rushed the stage into the Snake Pit. Heidi said I looked like a psychotic fan. So they all circle me and grab me and open up my bag and everything. I'm like, 'It’s just diapers! We're with Taylor!' So they emptied out my whole bag right there in the front row. My dreams literally were like premonitions."

On how Taylor's performance compares to other concerts he's seen

"I think everybody else should just quit. There's no competition. Nobody's gonna bring that level of performance. How does she do that? How many espressos is Taylor getting? She is running and flying, she's in cages, crossing stages."

Heidi: "You're turning into a poet!"

"Flying in the air, in these like...Heidi, help me! Help me, Heidi! Nobody's even in the realm of this. I never went to a Michael Jackson concert, but I...feel like it's that level of superstardom. I don't think anyone's ever gonna catch this. Maybe people say things about her right now, but 20 years from now they're gonna look back and be like, 'Who was this?' Obviously I knew she was a huge superstar, but I didn't appreciate the level of actual performer. You think of performers that are good, and everyone's like — I'm gonna have the Beyhive coming for me — Beyoncé's amazing. She's also got like 15 years on Taylor. Fifteen years of performing and practice, and Taylor in my opinion is right there at that level right now. People are gonna be like, 'How did you say Taylor's like Beyoncé?' Well I said it, OK? I said it."

On Taylor's fans

"Taylor's fans are like the best humans. I've never been anywhere where the energy was just so electric but, like, pure. I felt like I was at a birth or a wedding. It felt like everyone was like a big family. Everyone's dressed up like it's freaking Halloween, too — the amount of time and energy people put into their looks and outfits and makeup. I'm so upset this isn't every Saturday night.

My only issue with the whole experience is it's over. If the world felt more like a Taylor Swift concert, I don't think there would be wars. I don't want to shade anybody, but you don't need to take a bunch of drugs and go into the desert for Burning Man. Have a skinny margarita and go to a Taylor show. You need to trip out? You don’t need to go to EDC and OD. Just put on one of these Taylor wristbands and just get in the middle."

On the merch

"I got a black hoodie, I got the Taylor PopSockets, I got the snake ring, I got the Rep hat, Heidi got the gray sweater. My one issue with the tour is they don't sell baby clothes, but then when Taylor was holding Miracle Baby in her dressing room, she did say he's definitely the youngest human in the entire building, so it made me think that's probably why they don't sell baby merch. I'm not sure how many babies are buying merch."

On Selena Gomez's surprise appearance

"I'm not gonna say which one, but Selena's best friend DM-ed me and was like, 'It's gonna be so amazing.' I felt like she was telling me she knew the secret, so I was telling everyone I think Selena's the [guest], and when Selena came out I was like, 'Oh my god, everything in my brain is happening!' Selena gave a talk that was like — I mean I'm all about women empowerment and all the hashtags women wanna have, I back that — but whatever Selena said I was just like, 'Say that every day on the internet!' It was like, 'Yes, girl!' And then after meeting Taylor, obviously we only knew Taylor for so little time, but I was like, 'I feel that Selena! That is who she is! Yes! I'm voting for her!'"

On the other celebrities in attendance

"Kobe Bryant was sitting to the left of us. That's when you know Taylor's a superstar, when I was not even Snapping him. I was like, 'I don't care about you, fool.' Any other setting I'd be like, 'Kobe, Kobe, I love you!'"

On the stage, costumes, etc.

"It's definitely on a Cirque du Soleil level. If Taylor wasn't even there and they were just playing the music with the lights and the pyrotechnics, it would be worth paying the money, like if it was just a live show in Vegas without her. That's how good the dancers are, the costumes. When were backstage with these dancers, their costumes are legitimate like, Mad Max, Game of Thrones–level leather. I bet each costume is like 10 grand. They look like action movie outfits. The snake that comes out of the stage? It's like Universal Studios level. It looked doper than King Kong. I was like, 'How's she beating King Kong right now?'"

On how much he'd spend to see Taylor, if Taylor hadn't gifted him with a VIP pass

"I would easily drop 25 hundo. Because it's a priceless memory! People are like, 'They're so high priced,' but when you see the amount of budget that goes into it, there are a lot of people that are needing to get paid. That money is not all going in Taylor's pocket. I saw 200 18-wheelers. The gas alone! She performs for hours. So you spend $2,500, I'm obviously not good at math, but if you do the math on that, what you're actually paying Taylor per minute? She's worth more than even that. She's a wizard. Let's just go ahead and say it. She's a dang wizard."

[artquenga]

! SPOILER ALERT !

RPDR All Stars 3 Thoughts So Far

Episode 1

I’m going to be reviewing all the episodes (at least as long as they’re interesting)  Yall gonna read it?

Am i gonna share it online anyway?

But i’m gonna make it with reaction gifs and pics so yall can be at least entertained while scrolling down. Starting with Milk.

I’m a HUGE Milk fan but she belonged in the bottom, if not bottom 2, a bottom 3. If instead of wearing that cardboard stuff, which looks great for a photoshoot btw, she could have done a lot of “real” costume changes or a whole ~deconstructing drag~ performance art, or even ice skating (if possible...) in drag it would be way more succesful in my opinion. It’s a competition... take the fuck THERE miss THANG!!  But i loved her entrance look, and even in the challenge she looked good doing it, her face was gorgeous and i love that the hair she was wearing paired well with the silhouettes that she presented.

Ok, miss DeLa is playing a game, girl we all clocked it. 

The editing may influence our perspectives a little but that’s sooo last season... CLOCKED. It would be way better saying “i think yall are fierce blablabla but I choose the bitch who might send me home next week *shows lipstick*” That’s what i would probably do. It would be ok bc they all can handle that...  Dela is serving some “miss congeniality” storyline for the show... and they are going to      e d i t    t h e     s h i t     o u t     o f    i t     so we can watch good television...

I hope they don’t make her look like a bitch... and if they do, she better own it... 

But i’m gonna say that in a competition like this you keep your strategy with yourself as long as you can. Morgan laid the cards down way too soon which gave her competitors the chance to make easy reasons to send her home. So in this situation you better be at the mf top all the time... and i don’t think she was expecting to be one of the bottom.

I think Morgan wanted to set the tone of the competition before the first elimination and it worked against her. I was not expecting her to be the first eliminated. And i hope she’s coming back, that two past bitches in red surelly came to “rescue”... Maybe they are not doing a ruvenge... maybe it’s another shenanigan to bring some eliminated bitch back.

Before moving on i might say that I’m keeping distance from the drag race fandom for the obvious reasons: I don’t wanna be bothered with the bullshit and also I wanna avoid spoilers...  so i might not know stuff that the rest of the fandom already knows because i’m kinda off ~or very select with~ social media... and tbh that’s the only way you can see the show without spoilers. So, seing Bebe as the 10th contestant was kind of ~ok what’s happening?~

It was sort of an “it’s not right but it’s okay" feeling initially. Not because i don’t think Bebe shouldn’t be featured on rpdr again, but i think if she’s gonna compete again i believe that she should compete against “royalty”. IJS.

But girl... that outfit... she walked in the work room in good drag, and here’s the reason: she showed that she’s current, her makeup was good, the hair was right and the outfit was right... i woulda liked to see some kinda jewelry tho... but instead of going for obvious crowned queen with a bunch of bling and this and that... she went simple and she walked in like royalty because, girl... that cape was the only thing that she needed to show that... that red pattern with the plain soft blue inside was so chique... And on the stage she was Fierce. 

Me watching Bebe’s number:

Honestly all season 1 bitches deserves to be featured again on the show at least once. (ok we have exceptions but i’m not gonna get into that)

I’m noticing that Trixie knows how television works and she wants that camera on her... she wants her interviews on air... good for her, i like her so she better do it... but then again we have backstage/workroom trixie and mainstage trixie. It’s only episode 1, i know... i     a      m     A    W    A    R    E    ... but that’s the first impression. Her act was too soft for my taste. I was expecting her to sing, but i was also expecting her to bring more comedy into it... she has gimmicks that would work. (Except that hooooneeey thing, girl, don’t wear it out please...) Thorgy... i love Thorgy... i was O B S E S S E D with the two outfits that she rocked. The entrance look was fierce, those pants and that pin/buttom thing on the shirt i loved... very fashion clown. On the main stage that white jumpsuit with that hair... Fierce.

I’m not as obsessed with her as much as she’s still obsessed with Bob, girl... I know in the interviews they must’ve asked her something that brought up the subject, but she did bring Bob up in the reading challenge... so... snap out of it!

As far as her performance, i loved it. I knew she wouldn’t just play the violin and wrap it up, she put her character into that and brought a fun act, but i agree with the critique that the girl from hsm gave to her. She could be a little more extra... Speaking of extra. BenDeLaCreme... THAT’S 👏🏻 WHAT 👏🏻 I‘M 👏🏻 HERE 👏🏻 FOR!! Brilliant, amazing, showstoping, never the same*, put it on a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, give birth to it! Her number was my favorite, i thought that it was very funny and entertaining. She’s one of my all time favorites and she did not let me down.

* OK the entrance look. Not my favorite... recycled drag is not my favorite thing in the world when you’re gonna appear on worldwide television.

Aja slayed... she gave me all the loife i needed. I thought that she were moving too fast, but that’s part of the whole vogue thing, maybe i wished to see more precision in her movements... but hey, she put on a good show, she’s a young queen and she brought good drag show like i want to see, and that jump in the end was fierce.

Shablamgela... I am so happy that she’s on the show again, she is one of my favorites to watch... and she worked it. Her entrance look was very cute, i liked it. Not my favorite number but still very good, she edited the shit out of her act i can tell, but honestly... I WANTED TO SEE MORE SHABLAM!!!

Her performance paid off for the outfit she was wearing which was kinda meh. But hey... the bitch is already messing in the workroom jumping in the conversations and talk shit back on that mirror bitch. LOVE IT. Speaking of talking shit...

Kennedy... Her entrance look was kinda bad, i thought that she had too much going on... the mirrors on the face i like, but not with that gown, not with that hair... i like some elements but not all together. Her number in the challenge i loved it... maybe she and Aja planned to use that high platform, or maybe one of them did it first and then the other one went like

And then asked the crew to use the same “prop”. But they used it in very different ways which was awesome.  I love seeing Kennedy perform. I just want to see this bitch live (a lot of them, but these dancing queens honey... i LIVE) Me while these hos are defying gravity and the human body:

Morgan. I was underwhelmed with the performance, she should do the thing for the audience not so much for the other girls. But i loved her look, that bodysuit looks expensive as fuck!! 

That brings me back to Milk... it’s frustrating... imma be honest because i love her sooo much... i know that Milk could do way better... like, i was more impressed with the fashion from the queens who are not “fashion queens” than with Milk’s, like i said before the performance was not my favorite by far... Her number was all about fashion but... we only heard of it, we haven’t really seen it... so... that for me was a bummer...   i liked the beggining, when she fell on the floor i died... BUT then it got predictable,  ~thats my real proboblem with it~ , and I GET the whole “touch the fashion” thing, but it felt kinda lazy. I KNOW... I AM HURTING myself with my own words but i CANNOT read the bitch bellow if i’m not honest about Milk just because she’s one of my favorites... I hope she step her pussy up... but i thought she was great in the reading challenge.

[edit] Ok, watching it again (and again and again and again the whole episode) and hearing other peoples opinions i might have been a little too harsh, but that’s because i love Milk and i was expecting her to surprise me with something more fierce, because it’s a competition beetween the ~crème de la crème~ of drag race and the girls have to kinda outdo themselves in this particular challenge... i saw that number with her lipsynching before and its fun for a Milk show but for the competition it wasn’t really succesfull, i do give her props for singing live but... ya... i think she were capable of planning something better [/edit]

ChiChi... honey... when i saw those flats... girl she was done... bottom 2. I knew it. You can wear flats and still put on a fierce show, and she could be wearing heels... she admited that she made a bad decision but... how can someone see other bitches like Kennedy Motherfucking Davenport, Shangela and Morgan putting on some heels in the workroom and walk out in those shoes knowing that their act is going to be “similar”?

It’s not the same act, but if she could work it in heels then she should work it in heels... I love ChiChi... but i couldn’t even pay atention to the performance because those shoes were distracting me the whole time... maybe if the tights were the same color as the shoe it wouldn’t be so bad, and then the hair was not a good choice, not with that outfit, it should be kinda pulled back so she can whip it better. (Bebe was barefoot but that was a part of her number and her look... it makes sense... Katya performed her gymnastics thing with flats last season but her overall look was on point. That’s the difference) The whole look literally lowered way down the level of her performance, that’s why the look is SO important, because we know that the talent, the energy and the work that she put into that was there, but because of the look it felt kinda messy. Her makeup was fine and her entrance look was cute. I liked it.

But hey... can I do 0.5% of what she did on that stage?

But yea, i can still, you know... be a bitch.

So the lipsync was amazing, DeLa managed to perform anaconda the right way, because it IS a fun/funny song and she brought it. Both of them were good but ben was better in my humble opinion. And then she sent Morgan home with the excuse that she were defeating the evil so the children can walk fearlessly in nature on the set of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3...

Girl... i can not wait to see how this turns out.. but I’m done for now. 

So hey, if yall (people who had nothing better to do and decided to read this shit) want to message me, and kiki about the show, feel free to do it. Thanks and

[nearmidnightannex]

Eurovision 2018! commentary as it happened

Reposting from something done elsewhere. It is very very long, what with the competition lasting, you know, FOUR HOURS, so there is a keep-reading tag below.

No idea who the performers were, but I really liked that second number leading into the beginning and the parade of nations.

Interesting that Ross and Shangela felt the need to explicitly state that they will not be talking over the performers. I'm guessing that they had comments about that in previous years. (Also, totally forgot that Celine Dion got her start with Eurovision. And also somewhat confused, what with her being, you know, Canadian. Then, there are random Americans here this year, and I think Norway’s performer last year was actually from Australia, so.)

I do not remember the Ukranian boy band hosts from last year doing the instructions in English and French. I'm guessing in part because as they stated they were very new to English, so handling both would have been a bit much.

And here we go!

Melovin, Ukraine, "Under the ladder". Had a few problems wandering off key at the start, but then the number went insane and he was fine. Seriously, that ending was kind of nuts for a song that really wasn't all that intense. Didn't like it that much, meself, but we shall see.

Amaia y Alfred, Spain, "Tu Cancion". Surrounded by a sea of phone screens on one side, and a stage of things that aren't phone screens but might as well be on the other. It's actually the sort of very sweet ballad that wouldn't tolerate Eurovision-standard overproduction, so the lack of LED screen probably doesn't hurt them at all. No sense of whether or not it will do well, but the audience (and Ross and Shangela) seem to love them. (Cat Valente on Twitter: "Oof, Spain's only special stage effect was heterosexuality.")

Lea Sirk, Slovenia, "Hvala, ne!". A song and performance with attiTUDE, at the least. And about ninety million more flashing laser lights and spotlights than any song needs; I'm not epileptic, but I literally could not watch the chorus because it hurt. I can't imagine how difficult it was to be in the room.

Ieva Zasimauskaitė, Lithuania, "When we're old". A very very small and sweet ballad. If we didn't have the example of last year's winner, I wouldn't think a song this small would have any chance of making it through. Given that there's no projection screen on stage with her, I'm guessing that the images of couples we see next to her can't be seen in the auditorium, so they're aimed squarely at the juries and viewers, all of whom are watching on television elsewhere. And that staged ending, however hokey, was really sweet.

Cesar Sampson, Austria, "Nobody but you". I like the sound of the song, although I think it may have a shade too much repetition. His pants are ... weird. (People, if I, the fashion-impaired, am wondering why his spandex pants have a crotch at his knees, something is decided ODD.)

Elina Nechayeva, Estonia, "La Forza". Oh, Opera. Or at least operatic. And she gets around the LED screen restriction by wearing her own. Man, that skirt is MAGNIFICENT. It also provides all the motion, which is good, because she can't possibly be able to move without screwing up the screen. (Um ... were those sperm cells zipping around on her dress for a hot minute there?) I do wonder how much the auditorium can see, though; the main seating/standing level is all below stage level, and the balconies are all very far away.

Alexander Rybak, Norway, "That's how you write a song". A previous winner performing again. And again, effects that the audience can't see because they're composited into the camera. And it was fun, I guess, and I suppose that's how you write a song, but ... eh. Whatever.

There is a LOT more direct outreach to the auditorium audience this year than there has been in the past. The Slovenian grrrl group asking them to sing along, the Austrian guy saying  "How are you, Lisbon" in a song that really didn't tolerate it, Norway throwing his jacket into the audience ... I wonder how much this is a reflection of them compensating for the LED effects they don't have.

Claudia Pascoal, Portugal, defending champeeen, "O Jardim". Apparently, Portugal has decided that "small and quirky" is their niche, and they're going to OWN that. That said, the song built a little, in a way that last year's song never did, if only a very little.

And now a bit of business, both literal and figurative, in which the entire world sprints for the bathroom. Plumbing system managers around the world are thinking, "What the ... must be a break in Eurovision."

SuRie, Great Britain, "Storm". A very energetic performance, in which some rando grabbed the mic from her to get political. It was handled expeditiously, to put it mildly. She was able to get the audience back with her pretty quickly. Intrusions aside, the song was ... OK, I guess.

Sanja Ilić & Balkanika, Serbia, "Nova Deca". Cant understand a word, of course, but I like the sound and staging. Also the studmuffinly lead singer who set sail on a shorter version of the SS Kaftanic.

Michael Schulte, Germany, "You let me walk alone". It's a very nice, low-ish key song. Again, very simple staging accompanying effects ... although, judging from the reflections on the stage floor, unless the floor itself was part of the effects, the audience actually could see those. I wonder if management changed its mind about the LED screen ... or if he somehow brought his own with him. (EDIT: judging from later acts, the latter.)

Eugent Bushpepa, Albania, "Mall". Very dynamic. I mostly liked the sound of it, although I could have done with less of the falsetto blasts. Back of his jacket was ... odd. And ... that's it. That's all I got.

Madame Monsieur, France, "Mercy". So ... being able to kinda sorta just a little understand parts of the song are throwing me. Not least because it took me a couple rounds to catch up with the concept of "My name is Mercy", and not "My name is Thank you." Not helped by the fact that they were actually playing on that confusion deliberately. That aside, the song was ... very very French.

Mikolas Josef, Czech Republic, "Lie to me".  It's a fun song -- why is he wearing a backpack? -- but good lord, there's a lot of just standing more or less in place this Eurovision. (Well, OK, until the end of the song, for him. Bopping about with dancers and the occasional backflip off stairs is not “just standing in place”, no.) Also, it would have been helpful to have established the context that the other dancers were standing in light boxes bseside him; it looked on screen like they were somewhere else entirely at first. It's one hell of a dynamic performance, I'll give it that.

Rasmussen, Denmark, "Higher ground". Selected to perform the song because he looks like a viking. Which cannot be denied, really. Also, putting him in all black makes him look simultaneously undead and slightly terrifying. (Cat Valente on Twitter: "The lead singer for #Denmark looks like undead bearded Jared Leto when he hasn't had lunch yet.") The choice to stage with a bunch of long-haired burly trenchcoat-clad guys sorta kinda marching around is ... interesting. The song is sort of monotone; the performance is making a LOT more of it than it is, which is saying something. (And again, the appeal to the audience: "Come on, walk with us!" Which explains the marching.) Not quite sure what the snow effects have to do with anything. (The stagehands and crew for Eurovision must be both very good and feel very put-upon by the end.)

Jessica Malboy, Eurofied Australia, "We got love". It's dynamic, and it's ... fine. Although this is as close to typically Eurvision staging as we've had in a while. She did go badly off on her big glory note near the end, but she had a fair amount of song left to recover with.

And another break for business, and for business. The bit with the Serbian ... whatever he was, was very cute. The bit with Cesar Sampson was also very cute; hope he didn't hurt anything. And the bit with the Portuguese pod was also very cute. Cuteness abounded.

A very brief "in memoriam" bit to the first Eurovision winner, who passed away earlier this year.

Saara Aalto, Finland, "Monsters". Weirdly, I mostly like this song a lot. I think parts of it needed ... something, but I have no idea what. It just felt a bit off in places. (Not helped by the fact that nerves pulled her off key a bit here and there.) But that aside, it was energetic and interestingly staged. No sense of how well it might do.

Equinox, Bulgaria, "Bones". A motley of a group, with random Americans, according to Ross. Staged -- and presented -- as a really stark music video, sort of. Everyone in black. (My, this is a grim Eurovision this year.) That said, the blond woman singer does look as though she apported in from some completely different futuristic video. The song was ... fine, I guess. Can't quite see it going anywhere, though.

DoReDoS, Moldova, "My Lucky Day". Clever staging -- VERY clever staging, fifties doorway farce translated to music. Not that fifties doorway farce would have involved quite so much groping. It was really a lot of fun. It's so relentlessly out of anything even vaguely popular that I have no sense of how well it will do, but if there's any justice, that should be at least a top five finish.

"It's a very good chicken, sir."

Benjamin Ingrosso, Sweden, "Dance you off". And apparently some performers did indeed find their own projection stage solutions. Song is ... fine. (Saying that a lot this year, but that's all I got. It's not awful, it's not outstanding, it's FINE. If he were on the US version of The Voice, he would probably win.)

AWS, Hungary, "Viszlát Nyár". Um ... well. It's ... dynamic. Yes. It is ... that. Also apparently a fire hazard. And the lead screamer was barefoot. And the electric guitarist/bassist (couldn't tell which) decided to use Eurovision's audience as a mosh pit. (I bet the lead screamer can't talk after concerts, if he tries do to whole sets like that.)

Netta, Israel, "Toy". I really do love this song. Even the first few seconds have graduated from "intensely annoying" to "kind of growing on me". (They also sound MUCH better without autotune.) Not quite sure that the HEY light board thing really translated. Other than that, the staging is kind of lunatic, in initially small-scale Eurovision tradition. Oh, hey, sparkle shooters! And then the lighting went utterly insane! And then fire! And smoke! Ah, Eurovision!

Waylon, Netherlands, "Outlaw in 'em". A country song. Huh. I wouldn't expect that to do well at Eurovision -- an American-style country song being, you know, not even vaguely Euro-anything -- but as CW songs go, that was fun. Although you can tell that this was European, because he would have been Strongly Discouraged From That Staging here. The black guys having angry violent fits around the white singer was ... yeah. THAT. (Probably deliberately, given that the lead singer had lived in the US for a while, but still.)

Ryan O'Shaughnessy, Ireland, "Together". Low-key, lovely mid-tempo ballad. And I think he’s also been to Eurovision before, so he was able to keep his falsetto strong and on-key until near the very end. A nice all-male romance portrayed by the dancers on the stage and bridge. (Weirdly, given that the song itself is very clearly about the breakup and not the romance. Reportedly, the semifinal performance was censored in China, and the Eurovision broadcasting team promptly yanked China’s license to broadcast the grand final and blocked them.)

Eleni Foureira, Cyprus, "Fuego". It's fun, but still not seeing how this song is one of the favorites. To repeat myself: It was FINE. Lots of fire effects at the end, which, given the titlte, were rather required.

Ermal Meta e Fabrizio Moro, Italy, "Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente". Lyrics in many languages pretty clearly composited directly to camera -- they must have been in a complete panic when they discovered that they wouldn't have a big LED stage to work with. The song had sort of a nice build that they played with. Beyond that ... it was (say it with me!) FINE.

Honestly, I'm kind of clueless about what to expect. The staging was very low key. Very few of the numbers stood out. At a guess, my picks, vaguely in order, would be:

Israel Finland Moldova Austria Serbia Estonia Ukraine Ireland Cyprus Czech Republic Lithuania Slovenia Spain Portugal Netherlands Norway Sweden Italy Eurofied Australia (Yes, that's right, outside the top ten for the first time) Albania Denmark Bulgaria Hungary France United Kingdom (may do better with sympathy vote for rando invading the stage) Germany

I think the top three that I listed will actually be the top three, but beyond that ... I have no clue. And, to be scruplously accurate, I don't expect Israel to win, although I think they should. I think the geopolitical moment that we're in, which kept Russia out of the final for the first time ever, will also keep Israel from winning.

And now, the interval acts! The first couple singers are really nice. Can't understand a word, but the songs are still lovely.

The skit about the journey to Portugal's win was ... interesting.

And Salvador Sobral himself returns to the stage (sans last year's manbunnage) to sing another "I won't do Eurovision style" song at Eurovision. Which, to be fair, is a very nice sounding lament ... which his movements on stage do not at all match -- I wonder if he usually performs with a guitar or something and just has no idea what to do with himself. Or maybe I'm missing a lot because I don't speak Portuguese. Either way, he just looks odd up there.  ... oh. And now the song acquires tempo as he plays the piano like a drum. (In all seriousness, this is the most Eurovision-style performance I've seen from him; adding in a certain dynamism along with a certain amount of "What is he DOING?") And then he performed his Eurovision-winning song with a person who I guess is his idol. And the audience sort of sang along. (I wish I liked that song more, and I did like it better than last year’s Eurovision performance. Because that was a Moment.)

Interesting that Ross and Shangela, when they picked their top five, had almost NOTHING in common. They both had Israel and Germany in their top five, but nothing else.

And now: the jury vote! And judging from the early vote, the juries are going to be all over the place; Israel, for example, has been in second on one ballot, third on another, out of the top ten on the third and fourth jury ballots, first on the fifth; Cyrprus has a first and a few random other points; France has one first place (...the hell?), and not a single top ten vote anywhere else, and so on. But apparently the pre-competition love for Cyprus was justified; they're doing very well. But countries are bouncing all over the rankings in ways that they haven't the past two years. (Barring a massive televote result, it does seem clear that Eurofied Australia will indeed finish outside the top ten this year.) Unfortunately, Moldova is getting hammered in the jury vote, so they won't finish in the top five. SO UNFAIR!

Halfway through the jury vote, a pause for whatever reason, in which they cover the Eurovision young musicians orchestra very briefly. Israel very narrowly leads Austria and Cyprus. A pattern is emerging, slowly, that if Austria, Germany, Cyprus, Israel or Sweden isn't shown in a particular national jury's top ten, they will usually be the first place vote. Usually. But not always. (Hungary gave their 12 points to Denmark. And again: the hell?)

The green room for Eurovision is MASSIVE. For some reason, I thought all the pods were somewhere front of house. Also, Cesar should forego mentioning his Twitter password methods on international television.

Russia's jury got booed in the auditorium during the jury vote. (I do not have the slightest idea what Shangela was talking about when she said there was a hush in the auditorium.) This may go some to explaining their first-ever shut out from the Grand Final.

Unlike the past two years, at the end of the jury vote, it was utterly unclear which country would win. Last year, Portugal would have needed an unprecedented collapse in the televote to lose (it won the televote, so it didn’t matter); this year, it could easily go to either Austria or Sweden having a roughly equal shot, and Israel, Germany, and even Cyprus (which dropped back to fifth) having a not-unreasonable chance.

And now, the public televote results! Sweden, shockingly, finishes well down the public vote, so now their chances depend on Austria and Israel getting hammered. (Which does not happen.) And the public televote is ... weird. Seriously, how did Hungary do so well? And Austria does not win the televote, or even do particularly well! Serbia does well in the televote! But does not do well enough to matter! Ditto Norway! Moldova did very well in the televote, indicating that some people out there had decent taste!

Weirdly enough, as soon as they announced the fifth highest score, it became apparent that either Israel or Cyprus was going to win, because Austria getting hammered in the televote meant that they couldn't maintain first place. Italy, somehow, miraculously, managed a top three televote result, but finishing third meant that they couldn't win, because they got hammered in the jury vote.

Second place in the televote goes to ... Cyprus!

ISRAEL WINS! ISRAEL WINS! WOO-HOO! 

I only got one of top three (and two of the top six) right (and Germany kind of epically wrong), and it was (sort of) the winner! Woot! And other nonsense noises! (Cat Valente on Twitter: "YES YES YES WEIRD #EUROVISION RETURNS TRIUMPHANT TAKE THAT BLACK SUITS AND EARNEST BALLADS ALIEN CHICKEN MUSIC FOREVER!")

Next year's Eurovision will be in either Tel Aviv or Jerusalem, belike. That should be ... interesting. (I'm guessing probably Tel Aviv ... although one of the announcers did just say Jerusalem. Well. That may be ... fraught.)

While I am glad that Netta won -- I really did think it was the best song and performance -- part of me was secretly wanting Austria to win so that next year we could have Conchita and Cesar co-hosting. But I am really happy about this result.

One of the things I both love and hate about this type of competition. "Hey, Netta, you have just won the biggest competition of your life! Now, get it all together and perform for us! RIGHT NOW! No, you can't take the trophy with you ... Oh, all right, take the trophy. LOOSE THE CONFETTI!"

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Subtext

So i saw Cats. I had to know if it really was as bad as everyone says. It is. It’s terrible. It’s literally one of the worst films i have have ever seen but for different reasons than publicized. I plan to describe every short coming this film proudly presents, at length. Before we get into why it’s so goddamn awful, there are certain things that deserve recognition.

The Good

Cats is kind of ambitious. I like that they decided to build actual sets to scale. There is a sense of realness to this world and you have to this movie that i didn’t expect.

The actual effects on the cats, themselves, are pretty legit once you get outside of that uncanny valley. Like, the process to create those fur suits was ridiculous. It’s every bit as impressive as what Cameron did with Avatar. The theory of those cats i mean.

Francesca Hayward is pretty dope in this. She’s a great singer, brilliant dancer, and absolutely gorgeous. If this were a play, it would have been dope. If they would have used actual makeup and sh*t, it wold have been dope. choosing the way they decoded to present this sh*t? A waste. This was a waste of Francesca’s talent.

Jennifer Hudson singing Memory was f*cking incredible. I’m told the version she sang on one of those reality talent shows was much better, so i googled it, and it was. So much better. Still, the one they decided to film was decent. Hudson is one of the best singers of her generation and Memory has ample opportunity to belt out them emotional notes.

You can tell Tom Hooper had a passion for this material. Like, he wanted to make this grandiose film based on the garish play. That’s going to come back to bite him in the ass overall, but it’s nice to see a director making something that the actually loves.

The Bad

Literally everything else. his entire film is, quite literally, one of the worst films i have ever seen in my entire life. There is just SO much wrong with this thing. So goddamn much. Every decision made during this production was wrong and it’s kind of amazing.

First and foremost, why the f*ck did they choose to portray the Cats the way that did? These things are HIDEOUS! I mean, uncanny valley, for sure, but i’ve seen enough films and played enough games not to be unnerved by bad graphics. But this? this sh*t is so much more than that. These little cat people things are unforgivably odious in so many ways. I’m not going to get into the way they have people hands or can’t decide to be bipedal or how ridiculous they look on all fours. No, my thing is the way the faces are integrated into the fur suit. That’s not makeup. It’s legit CG. They tried to emulate the Cats Broadway makeup in a more realistic way and it misses the mark by a long shot. They’re gross. Gross and weird. Your main characters are gross and weird to look at.

Bro, these cats are constantly f*cking Like, all of the time. It’s not outright but you can tell they are constantly making with the coitus, figuratively. I’m pretty sure there’s a catnip fuels orgy there toward the end? Middle? i don’t know. I thought maybe it was just, you know, Hooper being cheeky in the beginning but then Jason Derulo, f*cking Rum Tum Tugger, shows up and just simulates the f*ck while Rebel Wilson cat, quite literally, makes overtly objectifying about Tugger’s tugger. It’s gross and weird.

Everything is washed in neon lights and i don’t understand why. The majority of this film supposed to take place at night so it make sense that there would be neon signs and everything but. even indoors, during that big Taylor Swift number, fluorescent neon lights. It’s unnerving and grates on the eyes, man. You put in all this work to create these detailed sets and thing but then immediately erased the detail by saturating it in artificial, scathingly colored, light? Really, dude?

There is no substance to this film. There is no character growth, no pathos, no stakes. Nothing. It’s a bunch of dance numbers introducing a bunch of asshole cats, looking to be ritually murdered. That’s it. That’s the entire plot. One cat wants to be murdered more than all the others so he’s kidnapping the competition to be the only option left for sacrifice. That’s stupid when you hear it like that, right? Because it is. Cats is stupid. Giving it that big budget, Hollywood Oscar bait treatment doesn’t change any of that stupid. The play Cats is fundamentally retarded so how could the movie version not be? I hate films that never grow, that never have resolution but this sh*t doesn’t even have anything to resolve. It’s a literal waste of time and my time is actually valuable.

Im not going to get into the many, many, MANY plot contrivances because then i’d have to actually think about this movie instead of just referencing the notes i already took down. I did the work beforehand and i do not want to revisit this feline hellscape any time ever. That said, nothing makes f*cking sense in this move. There are Jellical cats, magic cats, gangster cats, thief cats; it’s all over the place. Motherf*ckers are in cahoots with the main villain cat and when the does a villainous thing, they are all, “ We didn’t know he was a villain.” Really? Magic cat is magic but literally doesn’t us it until the plot absolutely demands it making that use that cat the definition of deus ex machina. Like, they’re not even clever about it. It’s actually insulting how blatant it is.

Interesting enough, outside of Memory, the music in this musical is forgettable. I can’t name one song from this thing that sticks with me. I still remember the first few lines to the opening song of Sweeney Todd. I can sing to you the colors of the wind. Hakuna Matata means no worries. I can show you the world. We’re of to see the wizard. I bet you know those songs. Bet you don’t even know the original track Swift and Webber wrote for this fart of a film.

The writing in this thing is f*cking putrid, man. The source material is sh*t and i didn’t expect anything great from an adaption but this? I expected more than this. Nothing makes sense. The dialogue is, one could say stylized but i’d say it’s dumb. This sh*t is dumb. Nothing feels organic, especially at the end. That whole situation with Judi Dench accepting Francesca James into her little weird stray cat cult was all cringe, no love. Everything said in this ridiculous movie is cringe. It’s just a goddamn cringefest! Seriously, the writing in this “movie’ is about as good as the writing in a Michael Bay flick. It’s that bad.

This movie has some of the most uninspired camera work i have ever seen in my entire life. It’s shot like a play; A single camera, centered on the shot, with no dynamism at all. There’s no pans or strafe or anything of that nature which works if you’re filming a play but this ain’t a play. It’s a film. Take Sweeney Todd for example. That’s how you make a film musical. West Side Story is another decent example. F*ck, that one movie with Gosling and Stone, La La Land? Yeah, even THAT one was shot dynamically. it was shot like a f*cking film. An even better example? the Les Miserables example. That Hooper, himself, shot! You did this once before and got Oscar for it. The f*ck happened? Yu forget hoe to make movies or something?

While i’m on Hooper, the f*ck kind of direction is any of this? It’s terrible! All of these performances, outside of Jason Derulo who was truly awful but brought a very refreshing energy to his nonsense, were uninspired. Like, they all just kind of went through the motions, you know? tom Hooper had been trying to get this film made for years and THIS was what he was able to muster? With THAT cast? are you f*cking serious??

Now, i lauded Francesca Hayward in her performance as Victoria, and that is legitimate praise, but everyone else in this thing is sh*t. Like, James as spectacular in her role, but her role is sh*t. That’s the ebb and flow of this movie. One thing is decent, but it’s mired in sh*t. James is gorgeous in real life and you see a bit of that in Victoria’s face but Victoria is a computer generated monstrosity and this movie insists upon reminding you of that every time she does anything with her face It’s weird and gross, man.

Speaking of probably brilliant performances mired by the outright sh*ttiness of the visual aesthetic in this clusterf*ck masquerading as cinema, i’m pretty sure Rebel Wilson has a beautiful voice. I wouldn’t know for sure because they limited her character to kind of a terrible lounge lizard set piece full of cockroaches and baby mice. I got a whole eyeful of her cat puss though. Thanks for that, assholes.

Another anecdotal performance that it thought might have been really good belonged to Idris Elba but i think his shortcoming had more to do with the character writing that screen time. Elba is almost always brilliant in any role he accepts and dude is musically incline, Elba was once a DJ and raps wonderfully if you didn’t know, so i can see them throwing a hip-hop curve to Macavity that could have worked if approached with respectful aplomb. Nope. This motherf*cker is a campy goober in a fur coat and a derby. Macavity is the main villain if this entire bullsh*t and i’m supposed to be afraid of him when he looks like a brown, nude, 70s style pimp with cat ears? For Real?

Jame Corden is the goddamn worst. That’s it. That’s the grievance. James Corden is the goddamn worst.

Why was Jason Derulo in this? He’s a singer, not a film actor, which is easier than being a theater actor. Dude just acts like he’s in a music video. Like, i’m watching his little set pieces or whatever and all i see is 90s Usher, dancing to My Way or some sh*t.

Why was Taylor Swift in this movie? I mean, i know why. They promised her a chance to win win an Oscar with an original song, that’s why. Hooper thought this thing was going to sweep the Oscars but this it sh*t the bed in theaters. it probably should have sh*t Swift out before production, though. She’s kind of awful.

And then there’s the two most egregious offenses in this entire film; The casting of Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen. These are Actors. They are Oscar caliber talent, Dench winning several while McKellen being nominated twice. Both of these individuals have a background IN theater. Hell, Dame Dench was cast as Girsabella in the original 80s run but had to drop out due to injury! They live this life! How are they so goddamn awful in this movie??

The Verdict

I said this in the beginning but Cats is one of the worst films i have ever seen in my entire f*cking life. I feel like there were more decent performances in this thing, Idris Elba was probably fantastic, bit the material the had to perform and the god-awful cat effects just wash over anything these actors can possibly do. Who is this for? Why are all of these cats so f*cking horny? What was the point of this aimless journey Hooper took us on? There are no answer for anything, which is hilarious, because this movie asks no questions. It asks nothing of the audience. It just kind of happens to you. I reference the writing being as terrible as a Michael Bay film but Cats IS a Michael Bay film. If you replace the dance numbers with explosions or creepy shots of Francesca Hayward’s butt, and it’s Revenge of the Fallen. Straight up Bayhem in a fur suit.

Cats is vapid, superficial, and insists upon itself. This movie thinks it’s more than what it is and believes it should be recognized when, in reality, it’s lowest common denominator film making and should be forgotten. This thing was constructed to swoon over the Academy but it ends up grossing out the audience. Cats is hollow and a waste of time while being one of the most visually revolting experiences i have ever had the displeasure of enduring. Do not watch this film unless you want to be angry you wasted damn near two hours of your time. Also, it’s ugly.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Subtext

So i saw Cats. I had to know if it really was as bad as everyone says. It is. It’s terrible. It’s literally one of the worst films i have have ever seen but for different reasons than publicized. I plan to describe every short coming this film proudly presents, at length. Before we get into why it’s so goddamn awful, there are certain things that deserve recognition.

The Good

Cats is kind of ambitious. I like that they decided to build actual sets to scale. There is a sense of realness to this world and you have to this movie that i didn’t expect.

The actual effects on the cats, themselves, are pretty legit once you get outside of that uncanny valley. Like, the process to create those fur suits was ridiculous. It’s every bit as impressive as what Cameron did with Avatar. The theory of those cats i mean.

Francesca Hayward is pretty dope in this. She’s a great singer, brilliant dancer, and absolutely gorgeous. If this were a play, it would have been dope. If they would have used actual makeup and sh*t, it wold have been dope. choosing the way they decoded to present this sh*t? A waste. This was a waste of Francesca’s talent.

Jennifer Hudson singing Memory was f*cking incredible. I’m told the version she sang on one of those reality talent shows was much better, so i googled it, and it was. So much better. Still, the one they decided to film was decent. Hudson is one of the best singers of her generation and Memory has ample opportunity to belt out them emotional notes.

You can tell Tom Hooper had a passion for this material. Like, he wanted to make this grandiose film based on the garish play. That’s going to come back to bite him in the ass overall, but it’s nice to see a director making something that the actually loves.

The Bad

Literally everything else. his entire film is, quite literally, one of the worst films i have ever seen in my entire life. There is just SO much wrong with this thing. So goddamn much. Every decision made during this production was wrong and it’s kind of amazing.

First and foremost, why the f*ck did they choose to portray the Cats the way that did? These things are HIDEOUS! I mean, uncanny valley, for sure, but i’ve seen enough films and played enough games not to be unnerved by bad graphics. But this? this sh*t is so much more than that. These little cat people things are unforgivably odious in so many ways. I’m not going to get into the way they have people hands or can’t decide to be bipedal or how ridiculous they look on all fours. No, my thing is the way the faces are integrated into the fur suit. That’s not makeup. It’s legit CG. They tried to emulate the Cats Broadway makeup in a more realistic way and it misses the mark by a long shot. They’re gross. Gross and weird. Your main characters are gross and weird to look at.

Bro, these cats are constantly f*cking Like, all of the time. It’s not outright but you can tell they are constantly making with the coitus, figuratively. I’m pretty sure there’s a catnip fuels orgy there toward the end? Middle? i don’t know. I thought maybe it was just, you know, Hooper being cheeky in the beginning but then Jason Derulo, f*cking Rum Tum Tugger, shows up and just simulates the f*ck while Rebel Wilson cat, quite literally, makes overtly objectifying about Tugger’s tugger. It’s gross and weird.

Everything is washed in neon lights and i don’t understand why. The majority of this film supposed to take place at night so it make sense that there would be neon signs and everything but. even indoors, during that big Taylor Swift number, fluorescent neon lights. It’s unnerving and grates on the eyes, man. You put in all this work to create these detailed sets and thing but then immediately erased the detail by saturating it in artificial, scathingly colored, light? Really, dude?

There is no substance to this film. There is no character growth, no pathos, no stakes. Nothing. It’s a bunch of dance numbers introducing a bunch of asshole cats, looking to be ritually murdered. That’s it. That’s the entire plot. One cat wants to be murdered more than all the others so he’s kidnapping the competition to be the only option left for sacrifice. That’s stupid when you hear it like that, right? Because it is. Cats is stupid. Giving it that big budget, Hollywood Oscar bait treatment doesn’t change any of that stupid. The play Cats is fundamentally retarded so how could the movie version not be? I hate films that never grow, that never have resolution but this sh*t doesn’t even have anything to resolve. It’s a literal waste of time and my time is actually valuable.

Im not going to get into the many, many, MANY plot contrivances because then i’d have to actually think about this movie instead of just referencing the notes i already took down. I did the work beforehand and i do not want to revisit this feline hellscape any time ever. That said, nothing makes f*cking sense in this move. There are Jellical cats, magic cats, gangster cats, thief cats; it’s all over the place. Motherf*ckers are in cahoots with the main villain cat and when the does a villainous thing, they are all, “ We didn’t know he was a villain.” Really? Magic cat is magic but literally doesn’t us it until the plot absolutely demands it making that use that cat the definition of deus ex machina. Like, they’re not even clever about it. It’s actually insulting how blatant it is.

Interesting enough, outside of Memory, the music in this musical is forgettable. I can’t name one song from this thing that sticks with me. I still remember the first few lines to the opening song of Sweeney Todd. I can sing to you the colors of the wind. Hakuna Matata means no worries. I can show you the world. We’re of to see the wizard. I bet you know those songs. Bet you don’t even know the original track Swift and Webber wrote for this fart of a film.

The writing in this thing is f*cking putrid, man. The source material is sh*t and i didn’t expect anything great from an adaption but this? I expected more than this. Nothing makes sense. The dialogue is, one could say stylized but i’d say it’s dumb. This sh*t is dumb. Nothing feels organic, especially at the end. That whole situation with Judi Dench accepting Francesca James into her little weird stray cat cult was all cringe, no love. Everything said in this ridiculous movie is cringe. It’s just a goddamn cringefest! Seriously, the writing in this “movie’ is about as good as the writing in a Michael Bay flick. It’s that bad.

This movie has some of the most uninspired camera work i have ever seen in my entire life. It’s shot like a play; A single camera, centered on the shot, with no dynamism at all. There’s no pans or strafe or anything of that nature which works if you’re filming a play but this ain’t a play. It’s a film. Take Sweeney Todd for example. That’s how you make a film musical. West Side Story is another decent example. F*ck, that one movie with Gosling and Stone, La La Land? Yeah, even THAT one was shot dynamically. it was shot like a f*cking film. An even better example? the Les Miserables example. That Hooper, himself, shot! You did this once before and got Oscar for it. The f*ck happened? Yu forget hoe to make movies or something?

While i’m on Hooper, the f*ck kind of direction is any of this? It’s terrible! All of these performances, outside of Jason Derulo who was truly awful but brought a very refreshing energy to his nonsense, were uninspired. Like, they all just kind of went through the motions, you know? tom Hooper had been trying to get this film made for years and THIS was what he was able to muster? With THAT cast? are you f*cking serious??

Now, i lauded Francesca Hayward in her performance as Victoria, and that is legitimate praise, but everyone else in this thing is sh*t. Like, James as spectacular in her role, but her role is sh*t. That’s the ebb and flow of this movie. One thing is decent, but it’s mired in sh*t. James is gorgeous in real life and you see a bit of that in Victoria’s face but Victoria is a computer generated monstrosity and this movie insists upon reminding you of that every time she does anything with her face It’s weird and gross, man.

Speaking of probably brilliant performances mired by the outright sh*ttiness of the visual aesthetic in this clusterf*ck masquerading as cinema, i’m pretty sure Rebel Wilson has a beautiful voice. I wouldn’t know for sure because they limited her character to kind of a terrible lounge lizard set piece full of cockroaches and baby mice. I got a whole eyeful of her cat puss though. Thanks for that, assholes.

Another anecdotal performance that it thought might have been really good belonged to Idris Elba but i think his shortcoming had more to do with the character writing that screen time. Elba is almost always brilliant in any role he accepts and dude is musically incline, Elba was once a DJ and raps wonderfully if you didn’t know, so i can see them throwing a hip-hop curve to Macavity that could have worked if approached with respectful aplomb. Nope. This motherf*cker is a campy goober in a fur coat and a derby. Macavity is the main villain if this entire bullsh*t and i’m supposed to be afraid of him when he looks like a brown, nude, 70s style pimp with cat ears? For Real?

Jame Corden is the goddamn worst. That’s it. That’s the grievance. James Corden is the goddamn worst.

Why was Jason Derulo in this? He’s a singer, not a film actor, which is easier than being a theater actor. Dude just acts like he’s in a music video. Like, i’m watching his little set pieces or whatever and all i see is 90s Usher, dancing to My Way or some sh*t.

Why was Taylor Swift in this movie? I mean, i know why. They promised her a chance to win win an Oscar with an original song, that’s why. Hooper thought this thing was going to sweep the Oscars but this it sh*t the bed in theaters. it probably should have sh*t Swift out before production, though. She’s kind of awful.

And then there’s the two most egregious offenses in this entire film; The casting of Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen. These are Actors. They are Oscar caliber talent, Dench winning several while McKellen being nominated twice. Both of these individuals have a background IN theater. Hell, Dame Dench was cast as Girsabella in the original 80s run but had to drop out due to injury! They live this life! How are they so goddamn awful in this movie??

The Verdict

I said this in the beginning but Cats is one of the worst films i have ever seen in my entire f*cking life. I feel like there were more decent performances in this thing, Idris Elba was probably fantastic, bit the material the had to perform and the god-awful cat effects just wash over anything these actors can possibly do. Who is this for? Why are all of these cats so f*cking horny? What was the point of this aimless journey Hooper took us on? There are no answer for anything, which is hilarious, because this movie asks no questions. It asks nothing of the audience. It just kind of happens to you. I reference the writing being as terrible as a Michael Bay film but Cats IS a Michael Bay film. If you replace the dance numbers with explosions or creepy shots of Francesca Hayward’s butt, and it’s Revenge of the Fallen. Straight up Bayhem in a fur suit.

Cats is vapid, superficial, and insists upon itself. This movie thinks it’s more than what it is and believes it should be recognized when, in reality, it’s lowest common denominator film making and should be forgotten. This thing was constructed to swoon over the Academy but it ends up grossing out the audience. Cats is hollow and a waste of time while being one of the most visually revolting experiences i have ever had the displeasure of enduring. Do not watch this film unless you want to be angry you wasted damn near two hours of your time. Also, it’s ugly.

[ramblingsrantsreviews]

My Casting Predictions for 'High School Musical: The Musical: The Series' Take on 'Beauty and the Beast'

Today’s the day we’ve been waiting for. Disney+ announced what production the cast of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series will be tackling in their second season. Bad news, they’re stepping away from the High School Musical franchise, something we knew was going to happen. Good news, they’re staying close to their Disney roots and their fall musical will be … Beauty and the Beast! Oh, and the cast and creators have promised that we’re still going to get High School Musical AND original songs in season two too!

To say I’m excited is an understatement!

If you watched the first season you’ll know the casting process was extremely difficult for Miss Jenn and the students. Everyone was vying for the roles of Troy and Gabriela and I’m certain we’re going to see the same sense of competition when they go out for Belle and the Beast.

One big thing to consider for this season is the possibility that Nini might not be an East High Wildcat anymore. Obviously, her presence or absence is going to affect the casting. It’s also worth noting that the season one finale of HSMTMTS left us with a hint that two other cast members have a lot of talent that we didn’t get to see — Kourtney and Big Red.

With all these factors in play, my mind immediately started wondering who was going to be playing who. I’ll admit I had some crazy thoughts — like Ashlyn and Big Red taking the stage as Belle and the Beast but I’ve reigned them in a bit. So without further ado, here are my casting predictions for HSMTMTS‘s production of Beauty and the Beast.

Ricky as The Beast

With Ricky’s newfound love for theater and a leading role under his belt, there’s no denying that he’s probably going to go out for the lead role in Beauty and the Beast. Though it might be fun to see him channel his inner anger and take on the role of Gaston or even channel is goofiness into Lefou, he’s destined to be the Beast.

One of Ricky’s strong suits according to Miss Jenn is his ability to relate to the material and make it feel real. I think Ricky can relate to the Beast. They’re both still learning to be comfortable with themselves and trying to adjust to their new normal. And they’re both a tad insecure. Beast definitely has more of a temper than Ricky has but it’ll be a challenge I know he’ll be willing to take.

Besides, if nothing else Ricky has to be the Beast because Nini is obviously going to be Belle and their real-life love story parallels Belle and Beast’s love story to a tee.

Nini as Belle

Nini’s future at the end of season one is unclear. She has just been offered a spot at a prestigious arts school in the city but she’s also just rekindled her relationship with Ricky. Just like in the original HSM franchise, Nini’s going to be forced to choose between her dreams and her relationship.

To be honest, I think Nini is going to give the new school a shot and realize she hates it making her transfer back to East High just in time to audition for Beauty and the Beast. I’m really, there’s no possible way they can put on this production without their star. Sure, Gina, Ashlyn or even Seb could rise to the occasion of being Belle, but no one is more inherently Belle than Nini.

And like I said, she has to be Belle because Ricky has to be the Beast because their love story is Beauty and the Beast. I mean come on the song “Beauty and the Beast” was practically written for them!

E.J. as Gaston

If Ricky is Beast, E.J. is going to be Gaston there’s no question about it.

Unlike E.J.’s disappointment in being cast as Chad in the first season, I think E.J. would love being cast as Gaston. I also think it would allow him to show Miss Jenn that he can connect to the material. After all, he basically was Gaston last season.

E.J. and Gaston have a lot in common. Plus, I really do think E.J. has the perfect singing range for Gaston.

Gina as Babette 

For those of you not familiar with the Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast, Babette is the feather-duster who has a bigger role than she does in the film. And Gina is the perfect Babette!

Babette is confident, fun, and flirt. So, basically, she’s Gina if Gina was turned into a feather-duster. She also gets to dance the Tango with Lumiere which Gina would obviously be great at giving her dancing talents.

Honestly, I think it would be a really fun role for Gina to tackle and she needs a little bit of fun right now! Plus, it would be fun to see Gina get to perform an original song as Babette.

I will say, I would also love to see Gina take on Lumiere’s role but for now, I’m sticking with my prediction that she’ll be Babette … unless they decide to get ride of Babette’s character which would be a shame.

Ashlyn as Mrs. Potts

I hate to typecast since Ashlyn played the motherly role in their production of High School Musical, but in this case, I just can’t help it. Ashlyn would make the perfect Mrs. Potts.

Ashlyn is kind and sincere. She wants everybody to be happy. She looks after her friends. I mean, hell, she basically invited Gina to live with her so she doesn’t have to leave East High!

Mrs. Potts is also kind and sincere. She’s attentive to Chip and to Belle. She just wants to make Belle feel comfortable and at home in her scary new reality. Ashlyn did the same thing for Nina when she got cast as Gabriela.

There’s just no denying it Ashlyn would make the perfect Mrs. Potts. Plus, she would kill it seeing “Beauty and the Beast.”

If for some reason Nini doesn’t return to East High, the only other person I would accept as a Belle is Ashlyn. They have a lot in common too. Plus if Big Red somehow manages to be the Beast well then their love stories will parallel too.

Big Red as LeFou

Last season Big Red was part of the crew which was a perfect place for him to be. After his epic tap number in the season finale, I can’t help but feel like it’s Big Red’s turn to take the stage. Though I’d love to see Big Red tackle the Beast or even Lumiere, I think he’ll shine the best as LeFou. Plus, it’s a minor role to ease him into the acting life of the theater world.

LeFou and Big Red have a lot in common in that they’re both underdogs and kind of goofy. Even though they’re similar, Big Red might find LeFou challenging to play if E.J. is in fact cast as Gaston because they’re supposed to be best friends. What’s even more fun about this is that it could add some off-stage drama to the season. Who knows maybe Big Red and E.J. will really hit it off making Ricky jealous.

Kourtney as Madame De La Grande Bouche

If you didn’t know who Babette was you probably don’t know who Madame De la Grande Bouche is. Well, she’s the enchanted wardrobe who used to be a famous opera singer. Obviously, she’s the perfect role for Kourtney who we have just learned can really belt out a song.

Not only can Kourtney sing, but she also loves the world of fashion and was part of the costuming department during season one. Hello, she’s basically already Madame De La Grande Bouche just in reverse.

Seb as Lumiere

Lumiere was really hard for me to envision. Not because the HSMTMTS cast couldn’t do him justice but because so many of them could! Eventually, I ended up deciding that Seb would make the perfect Lumiere.

Lumiere is charming and so is Seb. He’s also gets arguably one of the best numbers in the entire musical which obviously Seb would love! We’ve seen Seb command the stage as Sharpay and kill it which makes me know that he would kill it as Lumiere.

Carlos as Cogsworth

Similar to my struggle with casting Lumiere, Cogsworth was another difficult one for me to envision. Honestly, Seb could make an amazing Cogsworth too but I think I’m going to stick with my prediction that Carlos will be Cogsworth.

Now, in the first season, Carlos stayed behind the scenes, working as assistant director and choreographer. Obviously, he loved his job but I for one would love to see him take center stage this time around.

Cogsworth would be a fun character for Carlos to take on because they’re similar and yet different. Carlos knows how to have fun, something Cogsworth isn’t so great at. But he’s also very tightly-wound and loves perfect, which is literally the Broadway character description of Cogsworth.

Plus, I love the idea of watching Carlos and Seb play off each other on stage!

As far as Chip and Maurice go well, maybe they’ll be played by some new characters. I mean this is a high school show so people are going to graduate. It’s always a good idea to bring in younger cast members. We’ll just have to wait and see!

As I said, I have a few crazy theories but these are my more realistic predictions for who will be cast in East High’s production of Beauty and the Beast. I can’t wait to see if I’m right or wrong!

What do you think? Do you agree with me? Who would you like to see be Belle and the Beast? Let me know in the comments below or by tweeting be @3RsBlog.

Don’t forget season one of High School Musical, The Musical, The Series is streaming now on Disney+, along with a sing-a-long version. Season 2 is expected to start streaming in late-2020.

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Featured Image Source: Disney/Disney+ | ET Online

[quotespicture]

https://quoteswithpicture.com/speech-debate-2017-movie-review/

Speech & Debate (2017) Movie Review

By Evan Hancock (Kansas)

  Thoughts on Speech and Debate from a Debate & Forensics champ (who is also a snob about movies)

Hi, my name is Evan and I just graduated from high school. I was pretty successful in Speech and Debate throughout my career – to avoid looking like a tool, I won’t list every medal I ever won but I would like to point out that during my senior year, my partner and I won our division at state debate (policy debate, obviously – the superior kind for super cool people). I also placed at state forensics in extemp and impromptu, so I know my stuff decently well when it comes to Speech and Debate.

I was sitting in an airport one day on a 6 hour layover and my debate partner unexpectedly texted me about this movie she had caught on Netflix during a day off – Speech and Debate, it was called. She said it wasn’t great, but the subject matter appealed to her. A week and change later, I’m going to watch the movie myself. I texted my partner to let her know that I was diving in, and her exact text was, “You’ll probably regret but it’s worth it.”

*DISCLAIMER* I don’t know every single event! I’m a speaker, so I have limited experience with acting. Also, Speech and Debate is not the same in every state. Each place has different events, so I might think something from the film is unrealistic that is actually just what forensics is like in another state. Also, I’m going to write this as a sort of stream of consciousness. By reading, you accept all liability for stress caused by bad grammar or spelling.

As I watch the film, I am going to jot down bullet points on what I’m thinking. It’ll be like live-tweeting, except less stupid!

– This is shot like a TV show for some reason? – Diwata is completely unlikeable. She’s exactly what an out-of-touch older person thinks a theater nerd sounds like. – The meeting scene is just obscene. The actors playing Solomon and Diwata clearly have never done Duo Interp, because they cannot do a scene where they interrupt each other. – HOLY SHIT DIWATA IS LITERALLY BLACKMAILING HOWIE INTO JOINING THE CLUB! Like, seriously. She just brings up how he’s meeting a teacher at night in public. – The fact that the debate topic just happens to coincide with their situation screams “THE WRITER IS A HAAAAAAAACK.” – Using The Crucible as a symbol of the struggles the students are facing is p a t h e t i c. That sounds like something a sophomore in high school would write. You know the type of kid I’m talking about: that little spaz who just found out about McCarthyism and Arthur Miller and now thinks he’s a groundbreaking thinker. – The Oksana character is actually interesting. I want to see a bleak-ass movie about her. – At about 37:45, Howie has a scene where he has to tell a lie. It looks like the director said, “OK take 43. Act like you’re really, really, really obviously lying.” – The kids from Holy Ghost high are hilarious, but don’t belong in an actual film. The chant they do is very accurate to actual forensics though. – What are the two kids in persuasive speaking doing standing next to each other at podiums? – I was never an actor, but I’m pretty sure that the kid who did “Sophie’s choice” would be disqualified just like Diwata was (or at least severely marked down) for tossing his jacket, effectively using it as a prop. – The LD scene with the motormouth kid conflates LD and Policy debate. I’ve never done LD, but I’m pretty sure they talk a little slower in that event. The incoherent speed-rambling does match what bad policy debaters from larger schools do frequently, though. – After the party scene, the movie is left with only one likable main character – Solomon. Diwata is incredibly annoying, and Howie is legitimately stupid, disreputable, dangerous scum. I hope he gets hit by a bus at some point during this movie for drugging an unaware teenager. – Well the pool scene was literally meaningless except for the two boys to say “we give up” and Diwata so say “don’t plz” – The principal is just objectively right in the scene at about 57:00. I don’t know how we’re supposed to sympathize with the speech team. – In the principal’s office scene, he said that the bills they racked up were $937, right? And Howie has a job in a pizza place. Assuming he makes at least $7.50/hr, which is what I made when I first started my shitty restaurant job, he alone could have that paid off after just over 6 weeks working 20 hours. If he’s working over the summer, 20 hours should be no problem and he could put half of his money towards the bills over about 12 weeks of summer. Now that Diwata’s mom has insisted that she go back to working at Olive Garden, the two of them could have it paid off before the end of June. – The “food baby – too soon” joke at about 1:00:02 is actually funny writing, which I didn’t expect from this film. The only problem is that it renders Diwata’s pregnancy scare utterly meaningless. I’m guessing that subplot was supposed to have at least a little weight, but it’s just been pulled out from under it. – I like Diwata’s mom, she’s one out of three sympathetic characters in this film. – On that point, more than an hour into the movie, the only characters I don’t hate are Solomon, Diwata’s mom, Oksana, and the principal. Those last two are small enough bit parts that they hardly even count. – Diwata’s obsession with The Crucible is starting to border on unhealthy. – At about 1:10:00, the scene between Diwata and her mom in the restroom is actually well written and entertaining! – Aaaaaaaand it’s immediately followed up by a second song from Diwata that sounds like it was written by a 9-year-old. – Ok. Right now I’m about 1:15:00 in and a boring scene is going on where Diwata is asking for advice from a lunatic so I’m researching the writer. His name is Stephen Karam and according to this article (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/27/theater/stephen-karams-plays-treat-anguish-as-a-laughing-matter.html) he was 35 in 2015. How is that possible? This play opened in 2007 according to Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speech_%26_Debate_(play)) so Karam would have been 27 or so? How, then, did he churn out something that sounds like it was written by someone in middle school. Of course, I’m not familiar with the play script so all of these issues could have come from his reworking into a screenplay at 36 or 37 years of age. In which case, he became the worst type of screenwriter; the out-of-touch adult looking for ways to appeal to “the cool kidz.” – Wow I like “Deus Ex Arnie.” Of course Diwata was able to somehow bribe or otherwise coerce the janitor into playing her backing tracks and do the lights. – Oh god. I just realized that Karam must have crammed in all of these Hamilton references as he adapted his script into a screenplay. That is so fucking cringy it makes me want to close my Netflix tab right now. – That ending screams “There was another 20 minutes of play left but I have to wrap it up before the movie gets too much longer than 1:30:00.” – Of course there’s a fucking post-credits scene. – This is a seriously minor nitpick but it drives me nuts. In the post-credits scene, several of Diwata’s videos are shown to have a high ratio of dislikes to likes (ex. “THE SOUND OF MUSIC – Sophomore Year” with 5 likes and 13 dislikes). Despite this fact, the like bar is about 95% blue. Now, if I’m not mistaken, it’s quite expensive for films to license properties like the real emojis they displayed in this film, as well as the actual layout of YouTube. If they’re going to license something like that to make the movie more believable to the hip youngsters, wouldn’t it be reasonable for someone to make sure that the movie keeps the websites they’re licensing accurate? Like making the YouTube like bar work properly? That would have taken an editor 5 minutes or less to fix, but nobody caught that fuckup at any point during the production. Just another example of a film made by out-of-touch, older people failing to relate to young people.

Ok! Now that that’s over, I guess I’ll leave my final thoughts here:

Speech and Debate is not a good film. Because I’m not familiar with all of his work, I’m not going to call Stephen Karam a hack – all I’m saying is that this script wouldn’t be out of place in a high school writing competition. As a film, its two biggest problems are these: 67% of the main characters are completely unlikeable, and the script’s use of The Crucible as a stand-in for the character’s struggles is somehow offensively ham-fisted and utterly boring at the same time. The final nail in this film’s coffin is its title. Speech and Debate is relevant during the first half of the movie, then falls out of the picture completely.

As it turns out, the Speech and Debate team is only a vehicle to get the protagonists into trouble, then give them an excuse to perform the big musical number at the end. Early in the film, one of the main characters pushes for his high school to establish a Gay-Straight Alliance. He is shot down by the school board president, who tells him that there’s no need for a GSA – he should just join the “recycling club” instead. Obviously, this character is written to be bigoted and comically dumb. However, his words become something of an ironic parallel to the film’s problems, because after the film ended, his words echoed in my memory.

I pictured myself as him, telling the film’s writer and director “Why does this film need to be about a Speech and Debate team? Couldn’t it be about a chess club or a singing water polo team instead?” It’s almost as if this movie was created specifically for forensics dorks like me to watch and think “Oh wow I’m just like Diwata. I’m so oppressed and stuff. #relatable.” Corner the nerd market without putting any effort into a movie that’s actually about speech and debate. Now that this thought has occurred to me, I can’t shake the feeling that I have been cheated out of an hour and a half of my life by this pandering piece of tripe. All this film does is create a TV-drama-style “teens overcoming difficulty” story with Speech and Debate tacked on as a gimmick, not a unique selling point.

TL;DR: Speech and Debate gets 5 out of 5 stars. That’s the activity, of course; it helps students build character and important skills. Speech and Debate (2017), the movie, gets 0 out of 5 stars because it didn’t even try. Do I regret watching this film like my partner said I might? No. If anything positive can be said about it, it’s this: The movie was entertaining despite being rather bad. However, I still don’t think the movie had a lot of artistic merit.

TL;DR was TL;DR: MOVIE NOT GOOD STILL KINDA FUNNY THO

Rating: 0/5

  Return to Movie Reviews

[jonghyundroppedthesoap]

My Number One Fan

Chapter 6 Pairing: JongKey Word Count: 3,056 Summary: Kibum goes to the same, run-down bar every week to watch the man of his affections sing his heart out with a mere guitar for company. He wasn’t expecting the coffee, nor the beautiful personality within the singer. And he definitely wasn’t expecting to fall in love.

A/N: originally posted on @ourshineeshrine

Kibum decided not to question the fact that it was indeed a warm day, and Jonghyun being cold was quite unlikely. After all, at that moment, with the older boy’s hand locked with his, he felt as though he was on cloud nine and wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I don’t come to the park often,” spoke Kibum casually as they strolled, breathing in the smell of flowers that wafted around the vast, green landscape.

Jonghyun grinned at Kibum as he watched him taking in the serenity, a voice in the back of his head telling him that he’d never seen a more beautiful sight. “Is there not one close to your house?”

Kibum looked in thought for a few seconds and then began to nod slowly in agreement. “Well I mean…as a kid I remember going to those small parks on street corners. You know those ones with a small playground and that’s about it?”

“Yeah, I remember those.”

“I do have a few memories of them, but I’ve never really been to a big park like this one and just…relaxed. I know that sounds really stupid, but I just never saw the point in going out of my way to relax at a park.” continued Kibum, nodding his head softly as he recalled why he had never been.

“But now that I’m here, I realise that I should’ve come before now…It’s really serene.”

Jonghyun nodded joyfully in agreement, nonchalantly swinging their hands back and forth. “Yeah, I think that’s part of the reason why I come so often. It really helps if it’s too noisy at home, and it’s the best place to write new songs. I’ve probably written at least a half of my songs here, to be honest.”

Kibum gaped in shock, but inwardly understood why the park was such a great place for Jonghyun. “That’s pretty amazing.”

“Right? The ice cream helps too though, if I’m being completely honest. I’m a sucker for sweets.” the older boy laughed, and Kibum found it was contagious as he begun to chuckle along too.

“Maybe I’ll just stick with a donut for today. Let me tell you though, I once won a sexy donut eating competition.” spoke Kibum with an impish grin, Jonghyun turning to face him with an incredulous expression upon his face.

“You did not.” he retorted with a suspicious, raised brow.

Kibum threw his head back and laughed loudly, taking Jonghyun by surprise yet causing a large grin to spread over his red cheeks nonetheless.

“Fine, I didn’t win one…But trust me, if there was such a thing I would win.” defended Kibum with a bark of laughter, a confident smirk appearing on his face.

“Ah Kibum, when you laugh like that you are seriously too cute,” complimented Jonghyun, before pointing towards an ice cream truck around fifty metres from where they currently stood. “And yes, I’m sure you would win. Care to demonstrate?”

Kibum’s cheeks burned crimson, looking at Jonghyun with a flabbergasted expression. “Now?”

“Yes now.”

The younger of the two sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “Whatever Jjong…just be prepared to faint because when you get a load of my donut eating skills…let’s just say you won’t be able to think straight.”

Jonghyun tilted his head with doubt, a look upon his face which read ‘are you seriously kidding me right now?’ “Sure, sure Kibum. Whatever floats your boat.”

However despite Jonghyun’s exterior attitude towards Kibum’s claims, inwardly, he didn’t doubt them at all. Of course Jonghyun knew he wouldn’t be able to think straight…Kibum already had that part under control. Ever since he had met the younger boy, all of his prior confusion about his sexuality had disappeared completely. He was definitely bisexual…or gay for Kibum at least. Jonghyun didn’t mind feeling that way personally; however he was afraid of what would happen if others were to find out – especially Kibum himself.

“You ready to be blown away then?” smirked Kibum cheekily, tugging Jonghyun gently towards the van to study the vast amount of choices displayed on the board. “I’d pick a cream filled donut, but I don’t think you could handle it.”

Jonghyun choked a little on his spit, looking at the younger male in disbelief. How was he so confident about his suggestive word choice?

“I’ll have one cinnamon donut please!“ spoke Kibum brightly, an impish grin which displayed his dimples perfectly etching onto his face.

“And a double caramel swirl ice cream!” added Jonghyun with a laugh, meeting the younger’s beautiful gaze and feeling truly lucky to be holding hands with an amazing man such as Kibum.

The owner of the van nodded silently, eyeing their interlocked hands sceptically yet staying quiet on the matter nonetheless. “Just four dollars for them today thanks.”

Jonghyun moved towards his wallet for the second time that day, but this time Kibum was prepared, handing over the four dollars immediately and poking his tongue out mischievously at the elder. “Not letting you pay again, Jjong.” he winked.

Jonghyun shook his head amusedly and gave Kibum’s hand a small ‘thank you’ squeeze. “You’re way too stubborn for your own good, you know?”

“Get used to it now, because I sure as heck ain’t changing.” Kibum replied sassily, smirking at Jonghyun in what seemed to be a sexy manner (in Jonghyun’s opinion), before turning around and taking the paper bag from the vendor.

The man had been watching their exchange awkwardly, screwing up his face in distaste at the public displays of affection occurring between the two. “And your ice cream, sir.”

“Ah, thank you!” exclaimed Jonghyun brightly, reaching out for his treat with his free hand excitedly.

Kibum giggled into his shoulder cutely, tugging on Jonghyun’s hand gently to lead him away from the van and towards the relaxing sound of the trickling waterfall.

“You sure you’re prepared, tough boy?” teased Kibum playfully, swishing the paper bag in front of Jonghyun’s face flirtatiously as the older boy shook his head in mock disbelief.

He turned his head in both directions to take in his surroundings, and licked his lips in anticipation. “I can’t believe you’re seriously doing this – look at all the people!”

“Well they better take a photo while they can, it’ll last longer.”

Jonghyun chucked heartily, smiling brightly at the perfection beside him and giving his hand a small, almost unnoticeable squeeze. “Ah Kibum, you’re seriously amazing.” he whispered fondly, a pure tone of admiration lacing his voice.

Kibum flushed rouge, yet brushed off the compliment with fake nonchalance and pulled the donut from the paper bag.

“Let’s see if you seriously deserve to win this competition then, huh?” the singer jeered playfully, regretfully pulling his hand away from Kibum’s gently so the younger would be able to demonstrate his donut eating skills with more grace.

The two felt an immediate loss of warmth as their hands lost contact, Kibum having no other desire at that moment than to entwine their hands again to be able to feel the tingles run down his spine once more. He didn’t act on his desire however, and instead concentrated on the donut before him, contemplating the best possible way to impress the older male.

It might have been a bit immature of him to be thinking like this; after all, he was literally about to eat a donut in an attempt to impress Jonghyun and pray to god the elder would find at least a little humour in his stupid endeavour.

“Oh god, why am I only getting embarrassed now,” muttered Kibum regretfully, Jonghyun merely throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

“Come on, ‘Bummie.” he cheered mischievously, poking his tongue out at the school uniform clad Kibum as the said boy’s heart jolted in his chest at the cute nickname.

“You asked for it,” shot Kibum with a smug smirk, before he turned away from Jonghyun in preparation.

“What the heck are you doi-“ began Jonghyun confusedly, only to be cut off in astonishment as Kibum swished around with a determined look upon his adorable face.

Jonghyun stood startled, cheeks slowly growing warmer as Kibum stared penetratingly into his wide eyes. He had mistakenly convinced himself before that he was in for a good laugh, finding it amusing to no end at the thought of Kibum embarrassing himself before a crowd of strangers. Yet by the way Kibum was looking at him, with slightly narrowed eyes and a sultry expression glazing over his face, Jonghyun was now quite convinced that he would be doing little to no laughing, and much more drooling than he bargained for.

Kibum lips tilted up at the ends slightly in what Jonghyun deemed a sexy smirk, before the student brought the sugary sweet to his lips and gnawed a piece of the donut off in an aggressive yet teasing manner. Jonghyun’s jaw dropped in gobsmacked disbelief, and his facial aerobics only intensified as Kibum’s tongue shot out to lick the cinnamon from his lips. The younger took a slow step backwards without breaking eye contact, Jonghyun not missing the subtle wink Kibum aimed at him as his index finger gestured towards his smug form suggestively.

The heat that overcame Jonghyun’s body was inevitable, blood rushing up to his cheeks and down to his nether regions at the raunchy actions performed by the younger boy. He was practically screaming with no audible sound, both in shock and surprise but also pure delight at this new side of Kibum.

‘Perfect.’ his brain kept telling him, and there was not one single thought inside of his head that disagreed with that revelation.

Kibum wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his blazer, his sexy look of confidence gone having been replaced with flushed cheeks and a nervous lip bite.

Jonghyun, still holding his ice cream, looked at Kibum with the biggest look of awe, admiration and disbelief on his features. “You seriously weren’t kidding, Kibum.” he breathed.

Kibum smiled sheepishly, lifting his hands up to cover his cheeks in pure embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! Are you kidding me, Kibum? That was…that was hot! And I know that probably sounds really weird coming from me, but yeah, you would definitely win a sexy donut eating competition. No doubt about it.” exclaimed Jonghyun, eyes widening once he realised what he had said.

Kibum’s face turned into a tomato, flushing crimson at the elder’s bluntness. Mounds of pure delight poured over him, butterflies of all sorts filling his stomach and going crazy within their confines. Did he seriously have that kind of effect on Jonghyun? No…the mere thought was preposterous. He was merely stating it as a fact. No biased opinions. Definitely not.

Jonghyun’s thoughts were going crazy, images of the flirtatious Kibum still ingrained in his mind. Had he seriously said all of that aloud? The student probably thought he was a psycho – a creep! Yet despite his fear of the other boy’s reaction, he knew for a fact that every single thing he had said was true. The shy, nervous, yet secretly sassy side of Kibum was perfect. Ever since he had talked to the boy he had been infatuated with him - every little thing he did, every little detail on his gorgeous face. And just when Jonghyun had begun to think that the younger couldn’t get any more perfect, he had been proven wrong once again, witnessing this secret side of Kibum that possibly only he knew of.

He coughed awkwardly at the immediate change in mood, avoiding eye contact but slowly inching towards Kibum in an attempt to intertwine the younger’s hand with his own. Kibum bit his lip cutely, and gave one of those endearing grins that turned Jonghyun’s legs to jelly.

“So, what’s my prize?” spoke Kibum mischievously, looking at Jonghyun through his long, black lashes as the two fiddled with each other’s hands in a cute, teenager-esque manner.

Jonghyun laughed breathily and took a daring step closer to the younger male, moving his head forward slightly to rest right beside Kibum’s ear. Kibum’s heart ceased completely, Jonghyun’s warm breath tickling his ear and sending chills down his spine at the close proximity.

“How about another date?” he whispered in suggestion, the hairs on Kibum’s neck standing on edge at the feeling of the elder’s mouth so close to his face.

“Y-yeah.” stuttered Kibum immediately in response, finding it quite difficult to concentrate and focus on his words with the lack of distance between Jonghyun and himself.

Jonghyun allowed a smirk to grace his lips before he pulled back slowly, an innocent look returning to his features as though what he had just done had never occurred. “Do you wanna decide what we’ll do? You can text me later about it.”

Kibum nodded shyly, smiling up at Jonghyun happily with his forever lasting tinted cheeks on display. “I’ll probably text you tonight…Don’t get your hopes up for bungee jumping or anything though, ‘cause there is no way I’d ever agree to that, let alone suggest it.”

“Trust me, I definitely wasn’t hoping you’d say that. Let’s just say extreme sports aren’t my cup of tea, so you have nothing to worry about.” snickered Jonghyun lightly, before taking a big lick of his ice cream.

He held the dessert out to Kibum in offering, a cheeky grin plastered onto his face as Kibum stood deadpanned in disbelief. “Seriously, Jonghyun?” he questioned, cocking his eyebrow dubiously.

Jonghyun gave a small, mischievous nod, poking his tongue out the side of his mouth in a way that screamed ‘confidence.’ Kibum pursed his lips, and just as Jonghyun thought that the younger had made up his mind and began to pull the treat away, Kibum leaned forward out of the blue and took a large lick of the double caramel swirl.

He pulled away with an impish smile covering his face, Jonghyun’s jaw dropping in joyous surprise. The two boys looked at each other for a few seconds in deafening silence, before they both broke out in simultaneous laughter at the smear of ice cream on Kibum’s face.

“K-Kibum!” choked out Jonghyun in laughter, before breaking out into another fit of giggles.

The two immature males held onto his each other for support, Kibum lifting their locked hands and using the back of Jonghyun’s to wipe the mess off of his chin. Despite the absurdity of the situation, the boys couldn’t help but continue to chortle, finding every little detail of their ruffled predicament even more amusing than the last.

“Why are we so stupid?” breathed Kibum amusedly after he had regained his breath, releasing his clutching hold on Jonghyun yet making sure to keep his hand entwined firmly with his.

“And to think you’re graduating school this year…” spoke Jonghyun with a disappointed tut, Kibum merely shooting him an incredulous look.

“And to think you graduated school two years ago.” the younger shot back with a smirk, Jonghyun’s cheeks turning pink as he nodded in crestfallen agreement.

“Touché, my friend. Touché.”

The two shared a wide, jubilant smile before they began walking off back towards Jonghyun’s trashy vehicle. Kibum dug into his pocket with his free hand and checked the time on his phone out of habit, blanching at the digits displayed.

“Shit. How on earth is it already 6:30?” he exclaimed, gnawing on his bottom lip in sudden anxiety.

“Wow, time sure flies when you’re having fun! Is there somewhere you have to go?” replied Jonghyun cheerfully, tone fading into slight disappointment by the time he had completed his sentence.

Kibum stared down at his feet wistfully, scuffing his foot against the gravel beneath his shoes. “My parents don’t know that I went out today…They’d start to question it if I didn’t return home by dinner.”

Jonghyun sighed. “’Bum, why didn’t you ask them? You’re still a student; I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Kibum frowned guiltily, lifting his gaze to look Jonghyun in the eyes. “If I had asked them, I wouldn’t be here right now. All they ever ask me to do is ‘study, study, study.’ They work late every Wednesday so there was no way I could’ve disagreed!” he argued, staring at Jonghyun with wide, pleading eyes.

Jonghyun’s lips tilted up slightly at the ends, before he pulled Kibum closer and wrapped him in a warm embrace. “Thank you for coming today. It really means a lot…I’ll drive you home, okay?”

Kibum nodded happily and took one last deep inhale of Jonghyun’s scent before pulling away reluctantly. “Yes please…that’d be nice.”

They grudgingly released hands and slid into the car, before reversing back onto the road with a comfortable silence floating between them. The vehicle eventually pulled up before Kibum’s middle class home, both of the boys being overcome with a dreadful feeling of disappointment.

“I’m sorry this had to be cut short.” apologized Kibum sincerely, looking at Jonghyun with furrowed brows.

Jonghyun smiled reassuringly at the younger boy, reaching over and rubbing his thumb over the back of Kibum’s hand. “I don’t mind, ‘Bummie. Besides, we had loads of fun! Text me tonight, okay?”

Kibum nodded enthusiastically, unbuckling his seat belt before biting his lower lip in contemplation. The singer tilted his head to the side in confusion, before all of a sudden he felt Kibum’s warm lips resting on his cheek in a quick peck before the younger pulled away and opened the car door with haste.

“Bye, Jjong!” he spoke in farewell, a pink hue tinting his cheekbones before he closed the door gently and scurried back up to his front door.

Jonghyun sat in shock, fingers reaching up slowly to touch the place where Kibum’s lips had been less than a minute ago. “Wow.” he whispered in awe, a large grin etching onto his face as the reality of the situation finally sunk in.

Kibum lied upon his bed wearily, the scolding he had received from his parents earlier still fresh within his mind. He shook his head to rid his mind from the unpleasant thoughts, before fishing his phone out of his pocket and conjuring a text.

‘Hey, Jjong! My parents are going away for the weekend, so I was thinking you could come over for a movie night on Saturday! Thank you so much for a great day :’)

Your Number One Fan x’

[kisipie]

My Got7 Chicago Fanmeet Recap (W/ Hi- Touch)

Aye! It’s Kisipie and I’m finally home from Chicago safe and sound~ Now let me drop this thot7 tea for yall before I knock out again lmao 

Alright so @coconutheadjawbum Ken and I arrived on Tuesday morning and had a chill ass time in Chicago. I mean we didn’t get to see the city the way we wanted to but lowkey Chicago is definitely a place I’ll be visiting again the people are extremely nice!. 

Now the day of the concert!

Since our hotel was literally across the street there was no need for us to stay outside and wait to get our wristbands. However some fans had been there since 9am I believe (Y’all hella dedicated for that my ass would’ve been freezing at 12pm lmao). Once we got our wristbands we decided to stay in our hotel for a while. Now from our room we could see the fans outside lining up and a few others were waiting at the back entrance(....Hm trying to give that lowkey succ to thot7 or nah? lmao nah I’m just messing around any small glimpse of the boys is worth it~) Anyways it was really fun to watch so many people already lining up and hyping themselves up to see the boys! 

Once it reached 6pm we were finally ready and headed down to the venue to go inside. Now I don’t want to sound conceited but Ken and I were killing it we really weren’t playing around with our outfits at all. Especially Ken she had her blue fur coat on ready to kill! However, I understand some fans decide it’s better to dress down but that doesn’t mean you have to give weird looks at those who’d rather try something different and dress up. I mean, at the end of the day we’re all there to have a good time, there shouldn’t be any form of ‘competition’ between us IGOT7s just saying~

As we got inside Ken and I had to split up because she had P1 and I had P2~ It’s was fine though I still had a good spot at least.

ONCE 7:11PM HIT SHIT WENT DOWN!!!!! 

The boys came up on stage and started to perform ‘Let Me’ and I was already on cloud 9. They all sounded so good and of course my man Jackson was glowing~. Once they finished performing the host came out and introduced himself (Forgot his name damnnnnn lmao) then the boys came back out and did the same. All of them are so good looking and have the nicest voices I swear I could listen to them talk all day. But one person specifically who got me doing a double take was......MR. DOUBLE B!!. 

Like y’all I don’t know what happened since July 5, 2016 when I last saw them but BamBam seriously had my ass shook the minute he walked in. Jackson still my main but if bambam about that life and wanna go at it real quick....I mean....

Now Imma skip to when they performed BOOMX3. I knew that shit was coming because as soon as Jackson hit his chest a bitch was already screaming. Once the beat dropped I shit you not I was with my ‘I got my fresh brand new kicks on...feeling like a G6!!!!′ 

No one could tell me nothing at that point I was already rapping along with my man and he was delivering them lines to the gods! I swear Jackson has such an amazing presence on stage I could feel myself shaking a bit every time he would sing/rap. Like ‘Yasssss!!!! There he go!!! There he go!’ 

Onto the games! GOT7 ARE A BUNCH OF BIG ASS KIDS THAT DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO RAISE THEIR FUCKING HANDS! They were so cute trying to guess the songs and I think Youngjae was the one who failed the most (Aww it’s okay sunshine you’re still number 1 to me!). Then it was time to bring the fans on stage. Now I’ll admit I was a bit salty when my number wasn’t called but then I realized the game they were playing and I couldn’t even be able to pull it off due to my skirt and heels. God was truly looking out for me and was like ‘Don’t play yourself out in these streets’ so I was chilling while Jackson and his partner were the absolute cutest!!! BUT YUGYEOM’S TEAM WON AND WERE THE CUTEST PAIR OF THE NIGHT IDC WHAT ANYONE ELSE HAS TO SAY. 

OH SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT ‘PROVE IT’ JB and those notes could turn me into a skeleton right there and I would be 100% okay with it. I love each and every song the boys performed but Prove it and Boomx3 was the shit!!! My two favs from the album. And of course when ‘Just Right’ came on a bitch was dead after that followed by ‘If You Do’ to bring me back to life. 

HI-TOUCH TIME~~

Now before I say this Ken had group photo so I saw her go on stage and she was in the first group. And let me tell y’all the next time she spots JB I’m going to have my popcorn ready because those two were going back and forth with each other but once it came to group photo JB and his little ass hands wanna act all shy lmao

But you know what? That’s JB, he’s a push/pull type of guy but at the end of the day he’s a sweetheart that deserves all the love. 

After group photo was done I was up for hi-touch and around that time I met up with a lovely follower @va-va-rouge Ashley, She’s so sweet and beautiful and her heels were so dope! Now when we went up, Ashley was in front and thanks to both of us wearing heels we took a little extra time and created a small little 3 second window from the group in front of us. Y’ALL WHEN I TELL YOU MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY THE MOMENT I SAW YOUNGJAE I SWEAR I WAS WATCHING MYSELF FROM ABOVE BECAUSE THE VOCAL KING CHOI YOUNGJAE JUST SENT ME TO HEAVEN BECAUSE HIS SMILE WAS SO BRIGHT! I WAS TRULY BLESSED. 

Jinyoung was next and it was a quick little smile and head nod. lowkey was getting those fatherly vibes from him because he’s just so well put together like damn that man fine as hell up close and looks like he just wanna save a hoe one time before he goes lmao. 

NEXT WAS FUCKING JACKSON AND I ALMOST CURVED HIS ASS BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE FURTHER DOWN THE LINE BUT AS ALWAYS BIG DADDY WANG PULLED YOUR GIRL BACK BY LEANING CLOSER WITH HIS HAND READY SO I WOULDN’T MISS HIM!

I was so surprised to see him being third in line and when I hi-fived him, our hands.....Y’ALL OUR MOTHERFUCKING HANDS LINGERED A BIT TOO LONG WHILE HIS EYES STARED INTO MY SOUL.I honestly think he leaned a little back into yugyeom because the hand after his only skimmed mines briefly. Jackson probably knows my name, social security number, email address, my dog and cat’s name and the last meal I had because he was really looking at your girl like he knew what the fuck I was about! 

Honestly no gif of him in this world could compare to seeing his cute ass smile up close in person. Like the way he’s able to connect to his fans on a personal level is just so amazing and I’m so happy I had the chance to meet him again. He will always be my ideal type and he probably knows it too because I played myself and was like ‘Jackson~....’ my brooklyn accent coming out to play once again whenever I see him. But he was so sweet about it and gave a smile that I can’t even put into words how amazing it was...y’all I’m gone this man done killed me. It’s alright I’m typing from 6 ft under the wifi lit down here lmao. Also his hands are so soft and his fingers Y’ALLLLL THOSE FINGERS TIPS ARE GOLDEN! IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT HIS FINGERS BUT THEY FEEL SO NICE!

Next was Yugyeom I believe but to be honest I can’t remember because anyone right after Jackson I couldn’t notice lmao. BUT YUGYEOM ON STAGE!!! HIS SHOULDERS HAD ME SHOOK! LIKE I WANT TO LEARN CHOREOGRAPHY FROM HIM!!! HE’S SO AMAZING! I LOVE HIM!

Then BamBam followed with that beautiful ass Platinum Blonde hair and skin glowing like he just dipped himself in a pile full of highlighter! BamBam is my bias wrecker! JB done lost his place to the Dab King. How did this happpen? IDK!!!! 

BamBam just got that vibe about him I can mess around with and I lowkey love him so much so I’ll allow this to happen.

Jb was after I think and it was a short and sweet hi five with his nice smile. I was about to stop and be like ‘So you really gonna play my girl ken like that? Really? You know you about to catch these hands after the show right?.’ But I didn’t let myself to do it because Ken got something coming his way soon enough best believe that! 

MARK!!!!! OMG MARK I’M SO SORRY I CURVED YOU LIKE THAT I DIDN’T MEAN IT! Y’all I really walked past him about to leave before I noticed his hand sticking out. So real quick before the staff told me to leave I took a step back and gave him a quick hi-five and he smiled like ‘Yes bitch you better notice my ass the fuck?’ lmao nah he just laughed a little and smiled at me. 

AND THAT’S THE END OF MY FANMEET EXPERIENCE! AS ALWAYS I LOVE THESE GROUP OF YOUNG MEN SO MUCH I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAS ABLE TO SEE THEM AGAIN. WHEN THEY COME BACK TO AMERICA I’M GOING TO TRY TO GET P1 BUT P2 IS JUST AS GOOD~ 

[hentaihunblog-blog]

Love Live! Sunshine!! Season 2 Episode 13: Our Own Radiance (Final Impression)

New Post has been published on https://hentaihun.com/blog/2017/12/31/love-live-sunshine-season-2-episode-13-our-own-radiance-final-impression/

Love Live! Sunshine!! Season 2 Episode 13: Our Own Radiance (Final Impression)

It’s not over! Not just yet!

Aqours’ story comes to a close, but only temporarily as a movie was announced right after the finale aired. Which probably surprised absolutely no one. But I’m sure fans are scratching their heads wondering what could possibly happen next. Sunshine received a much more final and finished ending compared to LLSIP’s ending which was a hook to the movie. There’s no “IT’S BIG NEWS!” at the end, just smiles and rainbows. I just hope for the movie they don’t go to New York. I’m still holding out on Italy. International school idols, anyone?

Really long review, coming up!

This episode was definitely a finale. It’s the last day of school at Uranohoshi and we see Aqours saying their goodbyes to the school. The graduation ceremony is held, the students grab paint brushes and write out happy messages on the school walls, and of course we learn that Aqours had won Love Live. We saw the girls in rooms significant to them, the first years it was the library, Riko and You in the music room, the third years in Mari’s office, and of course the club room. The girls closing the doors together was a nice touch, especially when they closed the gates of the school together. It was pretty bittersweet, where at first everyone was pretty happy but memories of their time in the school came back. Another very touching scene was when Dia and Kanan gave Mari her diploma in her office. Handing her a special diploma like that was basically their way of saying “Thank you so much for all that you’ve done. You shouldered so much for us and fought until the end, and we appreciate it”. More on that later.

The episode itself is pretty straightforward. Chika still struggles with not knowing Aqours’ radiance and her mother gives her a little push to not give up and figure it out. Chika throws the paper airplane, which was there as a symbol in the show that many fans couldn’t figure out (the path to their “radiance”), and it flies so far it lands on top of the school’s roof. As Chika walks the halls she hears her friend’s voices from memories in certain areas and when reaching the roof, finally starts to cry. After hearing a noise, she heads to the gym and finds all the students there, even the third years even though they were supposed to be gone? Wanting to sing together one last time, that’s exactly what they do, and Chika realizes that the radiance she was looking for was always there with her, in their struggles and singing and dancing. It was literally “Maybe the radiance was the friends we made along the way”.

I hadn’t felt emotional until that point. The way the final song was constructed, with going back to Aqours’ beginnings and showing them in every single outfit and performance they ever did, it definitely made me emotional. Seeing how far they’ve come made me smile. Plus, the song’s lyrics were really sweet.

Aqours isn’t completely done as of yet, but we won’t be seeing them for awhile until the movie releases which I’m guessing probably won’t be until the end of 2018. So now, we need to look back on this season and Love Live Sunshine in general.

This season was easily much better than the first season. It goes to show how much more enjoyable the show can be when they completely drop the Muse references. In the first season, and I know this was the whole point, Aqours was too dependent on Muse and trying to emulate them, that Aqours didn’t even feel like an actual group. They didn’t have their own identity so in some ways it was hard to really care for them. However in season two that’s been rectified and you can see how Aqours is their own group now. We’ve seen their struggles and how they still continued to have struggles when it came to interpersonal relationships, money issues, winning Love Live, and their school. Some characters got to shine and show different sides to themselves with some much needed growth, and we also had the treat of getting to have a connection with the rival group! There were things that this season did right, but not without its shortcomings.

One glaring issue I had with Sunshine was the plot: the closing of the school. For LLSIP I understood the significance Otonokizaka had, such as the school being a tradition for the females in Honoka’s family, it would mean Kotori’s mother would lose her job, and so on. When it comes to Uranohoshi…why? Why do they care so much about the school? What is so significant about it that they want to save it so badly? Their school is being combined, it’s not like they’re going to be separated. There was never this huge reason why us as viewers can understand why they wanted to save the school. While of course the third years would leave, the second years and first years would still go to the same school and still be friends, so why was this so hard for them? I guess the only reason would be a sense of community. They live in a tiny rural town where all the kids that live there go to the school. Uranohoshi was one of the few things they felt that really belonged to them and made them special, but this was never outright said making the message unclear or just not powerful enough. And speaking of the school, it felt like that was more of the plot than Love Live was. So much more attention was placed on saving the school than on the actual Love Live, showing significantly less idol activities. Which is pretty funny to say considering that we had a huge number of insert songs, but not all having to do with the actual Love Live competition. I really felt this way in last week’s episode with their finals performance not having enough emotional backup because so little time was spent on building up to their song. In a show called Love Live, there was…so little Love Live. Drama could also be a little cheesy, and there were moments that I didn’t like (look at my review for episode 7).

One of the main things that I had wanted when coming into this season was more development and intermingling among the girls, and to an extent, that’s what I got. Many characters had gotten their time to shine, with much needed episodes for Dia and Ruby and a bonding episode. But I felt like the series didn’t push enough.

Everyone knows that Hanamaru’s character was completely twisted to something else, and that You was basically insignificant but I’ll touch more on that later. While there was development for some of the girls, there was still a lack of unity. And by that, I mean that the girls still stuck to their year groups and didn’t branch out. While we did have the first and third years bonding in episode two, it still stuck with the usual pairs of Kanan/Mari and Yoshiko/Hanamaru with the Kurosawa sisters in the background. We did have that wonderful Riko/Yoshiko episode that was a step in the right direction, but that was the most we got. The first years stuck with each other, the second years stuck with each other, and the third years did the same. This is something the original did much better, where I thought of Muse as a little family. We had Nico and Hanayo as the ultimate idol experts, Nico, Honoka, and Rin as the baka trio, Eli and Umi watching over the group in practices, Nozomi and Maki having their moments when Nozomi helped her fit in with the group, Honoka and Hanayo’s solidarity of loving food and having to diet, Nico and Kotori working on costumes together, we had the subunit episode, and we also had that episode where they acted like each other. They didn’t just stay in their groups, they actually spoke and interacted with one another. Aqours was not like that. We could have had You and Ruby work on outfits together, Riko and Dia being the responsible ones of the group, Chika and Yoshiko being the baka duo, or something! But they were just so separate and clung to themselves that there was this sense of family that I didn’t feel from them that I felt from Muse. This could also be seen in their songs where the second years would sing together, the first years would sing together in another part, and so on. It’s too late to fix this problem, and it’s pretty disappointing.

Now, when it comes to individual characters I’ll leave that to my rankings.

Enough with the bad, there was still a lot of good in this season. Visually, it was stunning. The animation was starting to dip in the last few episodes and I don’t blame them considering how much work they put into this series. It’s amazing how much the CG has improved from the original series. I felt like each performance was more beautiful than the last, with sparkles and shiny and colors. The CG models look fantastic, not having the problem of porcelain doll face the original had and instead having natural expressions. It looks almost seamless with the 2D animation so that’s a major win, especially with more and more CG shows popping up trying to achieve quality like this. And when it comes to music, Love Live always nails it. This had to be the best set of songs we’ve ever gotten. I know I said at first that I wasn’t a fan of MIRACLE WAVE, but the song has grown on me a lot. However, my favorite song is still MY Mai TONIGHT and the full version is great. We also got the full versions of Saint Snow’s songs and…they left me speechless. The girls are cute and shiny, their outfits are cute and shiny, it’s all just cute, colorful, and fun. It was always a treat to watch their performances because of all the work that was put into it. So, shoutout to the animators.

And just like with my final review of the first season, I have to give my rankings on the girls. I’ll try not to make it too long as I talk about them individually, but man my ranking sure has changed.

Riko continues to be best girl. Previously Mari was my number one but after the anime I had this sudden realization of my love for Riko. I’ve always identified with her and see a lot of myself in her. I love that she she’s polite and sweet but also isn’t afraid to show a more assertive side, and in this season we also see a more silly side to herself. We knew she had her little guilty pleasures, but seeing Yoshiko kind of rub off on her was entertaining. She finally was able to get rid of her fear of dogs, and knowing people in real life that do fear dogs, I’m so proud of her! She was able to conquer her fear and move on, so much that she actually has her own little dog now! Riko had nice moments, her little discussion with Yoshiko being my favorite. She had most of her development in the previous season, but Riko was still there to put a smile on my face and make me happy. She’s cute, silly, responsible, and just so sweet. I just love Riko to death.

Dia shoots up from her previous seventh spot to second, surprising me still. I hadn’t liked Dia last time because I thought she was too rude and harsh to the girls, even though I knew how she was watching out for them. I didn’t find her likeable and I thought her sudden change to the silly character was off putting. However, that changed completely in this season. It turns out that Dia is awkward as hell and can’t really make friends easily. She’s strict, sure, but she puts up this responsible leader type because she felt like she needed to act that way. Because of that, it shaped her to be distant among her peers. Dia is socially awkward, something to which I relate to, and I found it endearing when she tried so hard to get the others to call her Dia-chan. Under that harsh exterior, she’s an incredibly sweet person. She’s also a great older sister to Ruby. Just like Riko, she’s responsible, sweet, and a little silly and her episode made her one of the most relateable characters in the show.

Ruby was in dire need of another episode, because while I always loved Ruby and had her in fourth place last time, she still had this baby side of her personality the anime kept shoving in our face that made many people just dislike her. Again, I always loved Ruby but her two episodes with Saint Snow had to be the best episodes this season and made her even better than before. Ruby was given this opportunity to really shine and step forward by herself. She was always dependent on her older sister and she knew this herself, and she also knew that her sister would leave. Ruby took the initiative to console Leah, a person Ruby normally wouldn’t associate with (at least alone) and decided to make a song with her. Ruby stood on her own two feet, learned to be more self-reliant and independent, and even more confident. She’s grown from little shy Roobs to the more grown Ruby we know now. I’ve seen more people love Ruby more and it makes me real happy. She’s a great character that deserves a lot more love.

It hurts to move Mari down two places from second to fourth, but it’s just that Dia and Ruby shone brighter than her. Yes, other people shone more than Ms. Shiny. Well, only slightly. Honestly, I love Riko, Dia, Ruby, and Mari pretty much equally. They all make me feel so happy the same way, which is how I feel with the Muse third years. Now, Mari didn’t really get her own episode but she got lots of great moments. Sure we had the fun meme-y Mari we all know and love, but we also got lots of serious moments. Serious moments where she showed her vulnerable side. Mari was one hell of a trooper this season as she carried ALL of the stress and weight of the school’s closing. She tried her hardest to convince her father to give them more time, to not close the school, etc. What Mari didn’t want to do was disappoint everyone in the school, so the school’s closing probably hit her the most out of everyone as we saw her shed tears many times. Seeing this caring side of Mari was great because my one fear for Mari coming into this season was that they were going to make her into the meme character and nothing else, and thankfully they did the exact opposite. She’s a strong girl that dealt with so much stress that I wish the anime had mentioned maybe a little bit more, but either way I’m happy with how they treated her. Also, no washi washi! Thank god!

Kanan went from third to fifth. I’m disappointed that she didn’t get her own episode, I still think MIRACLE WAVE should have been about her but whatever. I wanted Kanan to get an episode because she had the least amount of time in the first season. I liked Kanan a lot though because I thought she was really cool, I liked her simple design, and her friendship with Mari and Dia was nice. This season Kanan had good moments but it wasn’t enough. We did see some surprising funny moments with her, such as her being afraid of heights and the dark, giving her a suddenly cute side. I still think she’s cool and her friendship with Mari and Dia is still great, but I just wish there was more to her.

Yoshiko actually stayed in the same spot in my list at sixth, which is kind of hilarious. Yoshiko is a disappointing case. I had wanted her to get more development, which I thought we had gotten in the dog episode. In that episode she explained why she stuck to her fallen angel persona, believing in invisible forces, and destiny and all that. And it was all to cover up, or explain her bad luck. It showed this sad and vulnerable side to Yoshiko we had never seen, and I thought that would have been the start to her gradually letting go of her chuuni side and working her way to accept herself. Because using her fallen angel shtick to cover for her bad luck isn’t exactly accepting or loving herself, it’s more of an escape. Yoshiko putting her chuuni side away would have done wonders for her character, but instead she stayed completely the same and stayed in the background as the comic relief character with dumb one liners who never really contributed to anything. It’s sad because I was starting to like her a little more but seeing as how she’s stayed completely the same, she’s staying the same in my list too.

This is a surprise as You was previously “worst girl” but now she’s bumped herself up a couple places to seventh. Last season You was at the bottom of my list because I thought she was boring and bland. Her episode was terrible and there wasn’t much You content other than her being a good friend and being good at pretty much everything. Unfortunately this season did her wrong. Let’s be honest here, if You was taken out of this season it wouldn’t change the show in any way. That’s how insignificant she is. It says a lot when the rival characters get more development and spotlight than You. It’s just…really sad. I feel bad for the fans though I never understood the popularity in the first place. But, believe it or not, the very few You moments we got in the last few episodes bumped up her ranking for me. The way she stood on the box when they were preparing for the closing festival and acting like Chika did on the very first episode, and her response to Chika’s question in episode 12 were good additions. She has a strong bond with Chika as they’ve been friends since childhood and she always wanted to do something with her together but Chika was never good at sports. So to finally do something with her best friend made her really happy. She loves Chika a lot and always watches over her, so yes, she’s a good friend. But I like that we got to see how strongly she felt about being in Aqours. It’s small, but it’s something at least. It’s just sad that You was pretty much ignored this time. It’s so telling how ignored she was because it took me awhile to find a You screenshot to use here. I only found this one. Yikes.

Hanamaru took the biggest dip from being fourth/fifth to eighth and this is another sad case. She suffers pretty much the same problem as Yoshiko as being the comic relief character in the background, but much worse. I liked Hanamaru in the first season because I could relate also to her social awkwardness and her love of books. She was a little snarky but she showed a strong side to her when she confronted Dia when it came to Ruby wanting to be a school idol. She was sweet and a little naive, but at the same time very mature with her love of difficult literature. But for some strange reason, the anime decided to change her character completely to be nothing but the girl that says zura and eats. all. the. damn. time. There’s nothing wrong with eating, we had Honoka and Hanayo who loved to eat but that trait wasn’t their entire character. Hanamaru was literally only there to eat and talk with her mouth full, and also there to play off of Yoshiko. Speaking of which, I thought she was really mean to Yoshiko. There’s nothing wrong with playful teasing among friends but sometimes her teasing was just really mean, like talking shit about Yoshiko being fat, how she’s bad at talking to people, that she’s weird, etc. Sometimes she would really just cross the line and I found myself getting really annoyed with Hanamaru. And again, that makes me sad because I had liked her before but now sometimes I don’t want to even look at her. Why? Why did they have to do Hanamaru so wrong?

And, it comes to no surprise that Chika is dead last. I never was a fan of Chika honestly, as she was eighth last time. I never like characters like Chika who are too loud, brash, a little dumb, and impulsive who don’t think before acting. Now don’t get me wrong, I know Chika has a good heart. She cares about others. One thing I always liked about Chika was that she thought herself as a normal girl, to which I can relate. She found something where a normal girl like her can shine in, but the thing with Chika is that there was an oversaturation of her and not much development. I know Chika thinks she’s normal, I know that she wants to save the school and make others happy, but what else is there to her? The anime would constantly tell us this about her but it just because repetitive and boring, and instead of seeing more interesting sides to her, I just kept finding how annoying and selfish she can be. The episode where the school didn’t get enough applicants still bothers me because of how easily Chika was ready to give up the Love Live because they didn’t save their school. Again, read that review to understand. And just because Chika is the main character, she gets the most screentime, she gets the most centers, the most solos, so much that she sometimes takes up too much screen time. Like, get out of the way! There are eight other girls there, give them a chance! This is more of the anime’s problem and not exactly Chika, but I’ve already made it clear why I can’t just stand her.

It bugs me to hear people say that it’s hard to give equal development to nine characters, when the original, while not perfectly, did a much better job at it. There’s some decisions in this season that were very questionable and aggravating, but I still had fun watching this season. I’m looking forward to the movie because we still don’t know what’ll be of Aqours. Will they continue, or disband to give us a chance at the Perfect Dream Project girls? That…seems like the best bet. All in all, this season was better but I’m still unsure of the rating I’d give this. For now, I’ll stick with a 7/10 and give myself more time to think. Hopefully the movie will come soon, but until then this’ll be the last one. Thanks for reading this far!

Aqours! Sunshine!

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