#I listened to it on my lunch break like a fool | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

m3l0nfl0at · 3 months ago

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hey blondie - k. tsukishima

tsukishima kei x f!reader ; brothers best friend! tsukki x yamaguchi’s sister! reader, accidental meetings, kind of slow burn, grumpy x sunshine trope, loosely based off of hey blondie by dominic fike, fluff, angst, sendai frogs team cameo!!, overprotective brother yams, yapper gf x listener bf, they both misunderstand each other at times, and 12k words

summary ; accepting a blind date with your coworkers brother leads you to meeting one of your brothers friends. will you hit it off? or will your brother's overprotectiveness prevent you from being with each other?

melody's recommended melody ; hey blondie playlist

Feeling something bump you on the back of your head, you turn around quickly to be met with Akiteru’s gaze. Your eyebrows lifted in confusion while shrugging your shoulders. He points his finger downward at the paper he threw at you. Following his finger, you see the jumbled up piece of paper lying on the floor. Uncrumpling it with a huff to find Akiteru’s messy handwriting, “Blind date with my brother tomorrow?”. You lift your eyes up to see him staring at you in anticipation, knowing that Akiteru has been trying to set you up with his brother since forever. Now normally, you would politely decline saying you wanted nothing to do with dating. However, seeing all of your friends introduce you to their newfound partners, you think you’ll take a chance on Akiteru’s brother.

Checking the box that says yes, crumpling the paper up, throwing it back to Akiteru. You find him slowly unfolding the paper with both eyes shut tightly. His uneasiness soon turned into celebration, feeling victorious that he finally got you to agree. Taking note of the time you see that it’s lunch time, gathering your things to head out only to be stopped. Akiteru hands you his brother's number, telling you to text him when you get the chance. You grab it curious on why Akiteru was so fixated on getting you together with his brother. Not thinking much of it, you stuff the paper in your pocket deciding to deal with the situation when you get back. As you start to get a quick bite you get a call from your brother, “What’s up Tadashi?”.

“Well if it isn’t my sister who finally answers my calls! Do you know how long I’ve been calling you for?”, you giggle at your brother's frantic tone. “Sorry Yams, I was busy with work but what’re you calling for?”, you hear a sigh from your brother. “I know this is when you take lunch. I'm near your work and want to meet up at that new cafe?”, open the door to said new cafe. “I’m already here, so hurry up. Since you’re so deprived of Vitamin me.” Yamaguchi goes quiet, hearing only the mutter of city life behind him. “Sorry.”, Yamaguchi laughs. “Yeah, you should be. See you in five!”, hanging up the call to order for your brother and you.

Sitting down after retrieving your order to only hear the little bell on the door jingling, looking up to be met with a green head of hair. “Took you long enough, Tadashi. You took so long that my lunch break is over.” Yamaguchi stares at you wide eyed, as you start grabbing your things pausing halfway. “Oh man Yams, you should see your face! I’m joking, sit down before my lunch is actually over. I have like a whole hour for lunch, don’t worry about it.”, Yamaguchi sits down pouting, upset that you made him look like a fool. “So big brother, anything new and interesting with you?”, you look up at him while sipping your coffee, almost burning your lip. “I told you to stop drinking things that are so hot! You’re going to burn your taste buds!”, he grabs the cup from you, placing it down. “Nothing is new, Yachi and I went to go watch our friend play volleyball yesterday. Oh! I fixed the copier today, so that’s new today, I guess.”, you giggle. Wiggling your eyebrows, “Yachi, huh? Who’s that, a new girlfriend?”. Yamaguchi chokes on his drink, furiously waving his hands around, “No! No! We’re just friends! I swear!”.

“What about you, huh? Anything new sis?”, you hesitate about telling him that your coworker is setting you up on a fake date. “Well, not really but you know my friend, Hana, she got married last week. Oh, and Sayuri got a new girlfriend! So, yeah I think your copier story has got me beat this time.”, you look blankly at the pastry you picked up. Yamaguchi looks at you pitifully, thinking of someone who he could set you up with. Yet, it didn’t help that he only had a handful of friends plus they were all off limits. None of them were good enough for you, not even Tsukki. You’ve never even met them before so it’s not like he can just randomly tell all his friends, hey did you know I have a sister! Shaking off the thought, “Well, love comes when you least expect it right?”, you nod knowing you were in no rush.

Yamaguchi’s phone rings, he holds it up before excusing himself to go outside. Staring at him through the glass to find him red-faced. Taken back, you try to read his lips only to make out the words, no way and no you can’t come. You laugh at your brother refusing someone until you see him deflate, knowing that whatever goofy tactics he did ended up failing. Dragging his feet all the way back into the cafe, “What was it? Did the great copier break again?”. “No, it was my friend. He said he wanted to join us, even though I told him no.”, you laugh knowing your brother has always been a pushover. “Well, is it so bad that your sister finally meets your friends?”, your brother nods. “Yes, it is bad. They’re boys, I don’t trust them. You can meet Yachi and that’s it everyone else is off limits!” Yamaguchi crosses his hands making an X.

“What are you even saying?”, you look up to find a stranger with tousled blonde hair and half rimmed glasses. Yamaguchi freezes, slowly lifting his gaze up to the stranger. “Is this why you didn’t want me to come? You were meeting someone?”, you freeze but not out of fear. “I’m Yamaguchi’s sister, nice to meet you!”, the stranger stares at you before sending you a soft wave, his face puzzled. “Well look at the time. Tadashi, it was nice seeing you but I got to go! Let’s meet up soon, okay.”, you get up quickly, worrying you won't make it to work on time. Tsukishima looks to where you were sitting before looking at Yamaguchi, “Spill.”.

Yamaguchi lets out a deep exhale, “Ok, yes I do have a sister. Regardless, she’s off limits so don’t even think about it Tsukki!”. Tsukishima rolls his eyes at Yamaguchi’s refusal. Of course he thought you were… aesthetically pleasing to look at. Yet, Tsukishima still respects Yamaguchi and decides to not protrude where he’s not welcomed, it’s not like he’ll actively seek you out anyway. He’s sure if he did Yamaguchi would reject every time he tried. Going about their day, the pair stay in that quaint cafe. Tsukishima pretending he didn’t just meet you for the sake of Yamaguchi. While you quickly walk your way to work trying to forget the handsome stranger's face.

Heading into work, settling back into the flow as you suddenly get interrupted, “Have you texted him yet?”. You turn around watching Akiteru question you, “No, I'm sorry I went to lunch with my brother but you know what I’ll text him after my shift.”. As Akiteru starts walking away you remember what you wanted to ask him, “Hey Aki, can I ask you why you’ve been wanting to set me up with your brother?”. He turns around placing his hand on the back of his neck, “My brother is kind of…reserved. He doesn’t really go for things. Seeing your personality, I figured that maybe you can take him out of his shell a bit.”, you think about his answer and debate if you could be with someone the opposite of your outgoing nature.

Well, you never know unless you try! You smile at him, thanking him for being honest and saying you look forward to meeting his brother. You grab the piece of paper from out of your pocket, inputting it into your contacts before sending out a quick message. “Hello, Is this Akiteru’s brother? He told me to contact you regarding our date, are you available tomorrow night? (‘•.•’)?” Putting your phone away to continue your work day, feeling confident as to what’ll come out of this date.

Back at the cafe, Tsukishima’s phone vibrates on the table interrupting Yamaguchi mid conversation. Tsukishima glances down looking at the notification being from an unknown number, picking it up seeing your text. “Who is it, Tsukki?”, he quickly replies, placing down the phone. “Nothing, my brother set me up on a blind date with his coworker.”, Yamaguchi perks up excited to see Tsukki show some initiative on his love life. “What? You? You agreed to a blind date with someone your brother picked for you?” Yamaguchi chuckles a bit at Tsukki’s abnormal behavior. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

Just as quickly as the day started, it ended. Beginning to pack up your things to leave so you could make the train. Walking to the station looking down at your phone to see a response from Akiteru’s brother. Not paying attention you bump into someone, “Oh, I’m so sorry!”. Looking up to find the stranger at the cafe, your brother’s friend. “Just be sure to watch where you’re going. I don’t think Yamaguchi would want you hurt taking the train.”, you freeze at his monotone voice. You see him heading the same way as you, not wanting to think you’re following him you decide to lurk steps behind him.

As you see him taking the same local train you were, dammit! Hoping on looking for a spot anywhere but near him. Glancing around to find none, deciding to stand holding onto the bar above. Pulling out your phone glancing at the text Akiteru’s brother left, “I’m available. Did you have a place in mind? Call me Kei, my brother talks very highly of you so no need to be formal.”, you feel hopeful especially since he sounds so nice over text. “Let’s do hotpot! The weather is getting slightly chillier, it’s the perfect season for it! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)”, sending it excited for tomorrow. Tsukishima faintly chuckles at your joyful response, agreeing that the weather was getting slightly chillier enough to enjoy hot food.

Looking over at the stranger you met earlier today to see him zoned into whatever was on his phone, the train comes to a stop. He looks up catching you staring at him, you wave. He looks around to make sure you’re waving at him. You knew your stop was next, deciding to overcome your nervousness you sat next to him. “Hey, I’m Yamaguchi’s sister! I know I left abruptly earlier, sorry about that. You’re Yamaguchi’s friend, right?”, Tsukki blankly looks at you taken aback by how friendly you are. “Yeah, I’m Yamaguchi’s longtime best friend. My name is Tsukishima by the way.”, you repeat his name to make sure to keep it stored. “Well Tsukishima, it’s really late what’re you doing out so late at night?”, you cock your head to the side, curious. “I could ask you the same thing.”, he raises an eyebrow in your direction. You pout, “Well don’t tell Yams but I usually leave work this late. Now, your turn.”. “I practiced a little too late, I wanted to practice on my jump float serve.”, you quirk up knowing that that was Yams signature move in high school.

Before being able to respond you feel the train come to a stop, looking to see your stop was already coming up. “Man, I was looking forward to talking to you more. Maybe get some dirt on Yams but it seems like the universe has a different plan, my stops approaching. It was nice talking to you Tsukishima!” You get up and wave goodbye seeing him wave back this time. Tsukishima realizes he never got your name, doubting Yamaguchi would give it to him. He feels a bit exhausted after that conversation, you were the embodiment of energy. It kind of creeped him out, you were like a combination of Yamaguchi and Hinata. Pulling back out his phone to respond to his blind date, “Hotpot sounds good, send me the address and I’ll meet you there tomorrow at 7:30.”

Getting ready to leave, you make sure to stop by Akiteru’s cubicle, letting him know to give you good luck. He sends you off with two thumbs up, telling you not to worry and if Kei does anything let him know so he can reprimand him. Walking to the station you look at your phone texting Kei that he is still able to make the date to which he responds with a simple yes and see you soon. Getting onto the train, you see Tsukishima sitting down already. “Is this seat taken Tsukishima?”, you smile at him. He looks up to you shaking his head allowing you to sit down, “You know I didn’t get your name. All I know is that you’re Yamaguchi’s sister.”. Sitting up you realize you never told him your name, urgently telling him and apologizing for your manners. “What brought you on the train this early today?”, you giggle as Tsukishima calmly manners your conversation from yesterday. “I have a blind date actually, I didn’t want to tell Yams yesterday because he gets all overprotective.”, Tsukishima pauses.

Suddenly everything goes in slow motion. Were you Akiteru’s coworker? No way that’s bizarre, maybe you have a different blind date? You look over to Tsukishima seeing him stare into oblivion, poking his shoulder. “Earth to Tsukki-”, “Do you know Akiteru?”, you laugh. “Yeah I do, he's my coworker actually, why?” Tsukishima pauses, staring at you deeply waiting for it to click in your mind. You stare at him oblivious, before it suddenly dawns on you why he would know Akiteru and how he suddenly had the same facial features as him. Laughing to fill the awkward silence from Tsukishima, “Who could’ve guessed? I mean I should’ve, you resemble Akiteru! Whew, I feel relieved. I’m not going on a date with a complete stranger.”

Tsukishima panics mentally, Yamaguchi said you were off limits. Should he say now that you guys can’t be anything but friends? Can he even be friends with you? How should he go about this? “Don’t overthink so much Tsukishima! My brother won’t care, let’s just enjoy our hangout together!” hearing you take off the label of a date eases him a bit. Deciding to just stop the overthinking mess in his head to enjoy this hangout with you, a hangout that’s all it was. “It’s not like we have to tell my brother anyway. He keeps Yachi and him a secret anyway.”, Tsukishima looks over at you surprised. “He says Yachi doesn’t like him but they both attend all my games together. If someone as oblivious as you can figure that out then I feel bad for Yachi.”, you look at him offended.

“I’m not oblivious! I just use my brain only for work. Anything after that doesn’t need much thought.”, Tsukishima grimaces at that. “Any improvements on your jump float serve?” Tsukishima is surprised your brain remembered that small detail. “No actually, now I see why Yamaguchi practiced religiously. It’s like just when I’m about to do it, I hit it and instead serve regularly.”, you place your elbow on your stomach thinking back to Yams practicing. Remembering how relentlessly he trained to hit that complicated serve. “Well knowing how hard Yams worked in high school he was like on level twenty.”, Tsukishima questions what you’re about to say next. “Whereas you’re like level five, don’t get so down on yourself. It’s not like you suck at volleyball, take your time.”, he’s shocked how realistic you are while also being so aloof.

“If you were paying attention, mister, I'm so oblivious. Then you would know our stop is next, see I pay attention. Come on, let's get our things together.”, you smile, grabbing Tsukishima’s hand. He falters, shy by the sudden physical touch. You look back, seeing him nervous before pulling back your hand. “Oh, I’m sorry! I should’ve asked before grabbing your hand.” Tsukishima brushes off saying it’s fine as he clasps his hands together. Following your lead to the hotpot place, Tsukishima learns you only allow yourself a hotpot twice a year. You tell him he should feel lucky that you’re sharing this rare experience with him to which Tsukishima side eyes you.

Entering the hotpot restaurant you say hello to the owner who welcomes you and Tsukishima kindly. Tsukishima likes how friendly you are, it allows him to sit back and observe. He prefers not talking too much instead enjoying the rare opportunity to be silent. However, you snap him back into reality as you let him choose what broth he wants to go into the hotpot. After picking an equal amount of veggies before heading to sit down at the table. After settling in, Tsukishima starts cooking the meat, adding that he doesn’t really have a big appetite. You wave him off saying it’s fine, “Let’s get to the good part Tsukishima. Have any good dirt on Yamaguchi?”

Tsukishima looks up at you to see you grinning evilly with your chopsticks in hand placing the veggies in the broth. He really thinks to himself if he did have dirt on Yamaguchi only thinking of one story. “Yamaguchi drunkenly admitted one time that he had a crush on Akiteru.”, you blink before belly laughing. “Oh my gosh, is that why he never let me hangout with you? Maybe we should try getting them together! Oh but he likes Yachi now.” you deeply think how to redeem Yams love life. Tsukishima playfully rolls his eyes, “What about you? Why did Yamaguchi keep you a secret for so long huh?”, you look at him surprised that he was so blunt. “Well, Yams told me it’s because he didn't want any of you making a pass at me. You know the overprotective type but I guess time has a different plan, huh?”

Tsukishima fiddles with his fingers after plating all the beef, knowing he was thinking so much you lift up a baby corn. “These are my favorite, the veggies have been cooking for a while so they should be perfect! Here try.”, Tsukishima closes in, taking your offer and trying the baby corn off of your chopsticks. He agrees that the veggies are done and cooked to perfection, lifting up a thumbs up. You visibly light up at Tsukishima’s agreement to which he smiles just a bit. Even though you and Yamaguchi don’t really look alike, he sees it in the mannerisms you share. Both liking affirmations that you’re doing something right, opening up to people more when you feel comfortable with them, and both sharing the same smile.

Tsukishima leans over to grab more vegetables and broth, just because he wants to see you smile again he praises you for the tasty broth you picked saying he was suddenly feeling really hungry. Not much to his surprise you light up and Tsukishima feels satisfied, when he gets home he’ll have to thank Akiteru for making him go on this date after all. You lift up the broth with your ladle, Tsukishima stops you. “That’s way too hot. You’re going to burn yourself.”, you look at him puzzled. “How do you know that?”, Tsukishima questions if you’re just oblivious or if you have poor eyesight. “The steam coming out of it? Let it cool down first.”, you listen, looking at him as he nods. Lifting it again only to realize he was right, the temperature allowed you to really take in the flavor. That bastard!

Not wanting to give him the satisfaction you changed the conversation. “I know you play volleyball but what’s your position?”, Tsukishima glances at you. “Middle blocker, I essentially just block the ball. Not very flashy, I know.” You stop him, “What that’s awesome! That’s why you’re super tall, it gives you the advantage! Plus, I would watch all the rallies with Yams. Men's Volleyball players spike that ball hardcore, meaning you would have to keep a really steady arm.” you stop yourself realizing your rambling. “It might not be flashy but you’re a part of the team so it’s important.”, Tsukishima agrees. Happy that you made his insecurity into something positive.

That night, you and Tsukishima continue to talk about various things from your siblings, your past school life, and your jobs. This is where you find out Tsukishima actually works near you at the Sendai museum. You hype up his job even more than you did him being a pro volleyball player. Tsukishima didn’t talk often, he gave the occasional nod and even some small input here and there but it never felt forced. He was actually paying attention to what you were saying, putting importance on every single word you were saying. Talking to him felt comforting even if he just stayed quiet, you liked someone who just listened to you talk about the random things in life.

After finishing up your hotpot, you bid a goodbye to the owner, thanking them for the delicious meal. They laugh saying to enjoy the rest of your night. You find Tsukishima glancing over at you holding your bag. You walk over to him, “So are you taking the same train as me again?”, Tsukishima nods. “I’m taking the same route as you. It would be rude of me to not walk you home. I can’t let my friend's sister walk home alone, it wouldn’t be safe.”, you accept his offer as he links your arms making sure not to get lost in the crowd. Making it to the train he offers you a seat, sitting down next to you, handing you your bag.

You didn’t know if it was the broth or the hard day at work but you were exhausted, glad that you ended the day with a new found friend. Feeling your phone vibrate you take it out to see a text from Tsukishima, he points to your phone when you look at him confused. The text read, Are you tired?. “Did you really save me on your phone as Kei?”, you nod. “You told me I could call you Kei, did you redact that statement?”, Tsukishima glances anywhere but at you. “No, you can call me Kei.” you laugh, you guess Yams isn’t the only pushover. You text him, I’m tired. (っ,-) My stop is next though so I’ll be fine! ദ്ദി(• ˕ •マ.ᐟ). “How do you come up with those things so fast?”, “If I teach you will you start sending them back?”. “No, no way.”

On the train ride you learned that Tsukishima isn’t really enthusiastic unless it’s about Volleyball, he never has a big appetite, and he loves music and dinosaurs. To which you added that your favorite dinosaur is a Pterodactyl due to always wanting to fly instead of being tall. Tsukishima sidney’s you thinking you made a dig at him, to which you start laughing. You tell him later to text you his playlist, wanting to hear his music taste but Tsukishima rejected saying he doesn’t just share that information with anyone. Approaching your apartment, you declare that you will get close enough one day that he’ll have no problem giving it to you.

“Well blondie, we’re here! Thanks for walking me, I mean you’re right who would mess with me when I have a six foot personal guard dog.”, Tsukishima huffs brushing off your comment. “When can we hang out again?”, Tsukishima is surprised you wanted to hangout again due to him being mostly silent this date. He didn’t think you would find him interesting enough, “I guess we could meet at the cafe tomorrow for lunch?”. He fiddles with his fingers, “Ok! I take lunch at one so make sure to meet me there. Don’t leave me waiting.” You walk off forgetting something, “Thank you Kei, I had a lot of fun.”, you walk up to your door waving to him before closing your door. He watches you close the door before calling Akiteru, “Hello, Kei. What’s up?”. Tsukishima takes a breathe, walking back to the station, “Thanks.”. “Thanks for what?”, Tsukishima hangs up not wanting to get gushy over the phone, opting to instead put on his headphones.

Walking to your office in the morning you expected Akiteru to question you. However you did not imagine that he would be sitting in your cubicle waiting for you. Akiteru hands you a cup of coffee as you settle into your workflow. “How was it?!”, you flash a smile towards him as Akiteru stares at you wide eyed. “It went well! Tell me about it!”, you think about telling him, debating whether or not you should. “We went to get some hotpot and we’re going to hangout today for lunch. That’s about it.”, Akiteru lights up, excited about the potential of your relationship.

“I don’t want to put a label on anything but I want to be friends first. So sorry Akiteru, you’re going to be playing the long game.” He deflates at your comment expecting a love at first sight story. Akiteru thanks you for your intel because he knows Kei would never tell him anything. You sip on the coffee Akiteru brought you almost instantly burning your tongue. Remembering last night where Tsukishima stopped you and Yams scolding you the day before. Placing down the coffee cup with a huff. Of course they were best friends, they both nagged at you like they were the same person. Thinking of Tsukishima, you pull out your phone to see if he ever texted you back last night about what cafe you guys were going to be at. “Did you forget already? The one we first met at, you need to pay more attention.” You huff, he even reprimands you while texting. Reacting to the text with a thumbs up, anticipating your lunch break.

Hours go by slowly as you spend every hour glancing at the clock. As soon as the clock strikes 12:00 you get up to head to lunch, telling Akiteru you were heading out. Walking to the cafe you feel your phone vibrate, “You’re late.”, you know that tone anywhere. “I’m actually on time, you’re earlier. It’s a five minute walk, just sit down and look pretty you’ll be fine.” you hang up on him, laughing at your remark. As you were putting your phone back in your pocket you feel it buzzing again. “Kei-“, “Kei? Who’re you talking too!”, you freeze, Yamaguchi called. “Keitru, Akiteru, sorry my coworker was bothering me.”, you hesitate wondering if he’ll believe your cover up.

“Whatever, want to meet up for lunch?”, you open the door to the cafe, Tsukishima waving you over. “Sorry Yams, I’m actually with my coworker eating lunch.”, Tsukishima glances up blankly, scared. “Oh that sucks, ok well maybe some other day then.” You exchange kick goodbyes, hanging up. “You should totally see your face, Kei. You're paler than you usually are, chill out. Let’s go order!” Tsukishima gets up as you both leave your belongings in the booth. Tsukishima orders first and you’re up next ordering something iced to which Tsukishima glances at you sideways. He pays again, even though he paid for a hotpot last time.

“Why’re you getting your coffee iced?”, you look at him questionably. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”, he chuckles knowing you were going to tell him anyway. “I burned my tongue on some coffee in the morning.”, now he laughs. You roll your eyes, of course the only time he laughs is at the sake of your misery. You go to retort but he suddenly gets a call, he doesn’t make the same mistake you do. Actually looking at the caller ID, flashing his phone to you which shows the screen that said Yamaguchi. Now it’s your turn to laugh as you watch him accept the call, paler than a ghost, “What is it Yamaguchi?”.

You hear a loud “Tsukki!” over the phone as Tsukishima backs up from his phone. You beg him to put it on speaker to which he mouths no. As you start pouting he rolls his eyes, switching to speaker. “Tsukki, do you want to go to lunch together?”, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “No Yamaguchi, I’m already at lunch with someone.”, you hear Yama gasp. “Tsukki you’re with someone else?”, Tsukishima agrees with Yama. “Well I can join! Who is it with?”, Tsukishima trips over his words. “I’m with my brother.”. Yamaguchi goes silent as you giggle silently, knowing the lore between Yamaguchi and Akiteru.

“Man, first my sister and now you too. Well, I’ll leave you to it Tsukki! Have fun!”, Tsukishima hangs up. Eyes zeroing on you, furiously. “I’m never doing that again.”, you laugh at how scared Tsukishima is of Yamaguchi. “Anyways Kei, how is your day going? Besides almost dying at my brother's phone call.”, you look at him taking a sip of your drink. “Well the museum got some new properties for the new exhibit opening up.”, you urge him to continue. “It’s nothing cool, just a couple of exoskeletons of prehistoric animals.”. “Tsukishima, you have to work with me here. Please, I bet working at a museum is awesome! It’s like Night at The Museum!”, Tsukishima lifts a brow. “No way, you’ve never seen Night at the Museum?”, he shakes his head as you realize what your next hangout is.

“Basically this guy works at a museum as a guard and everything in the museum comes to life. It’s awesome.”, Tsukishima huffs. “It’s not like that at all, at least what I do isn’t. However, I really doubt anything comes to life, sorry.”, you laugh rolling your eyes. “Then tell me mister my work is nothing cool, what is your job?”, he thinks for a minute really thinking of something that won’t sugarcoat his job. “I file the paperwork for all new objects, I do bidding offers on new items for upcoming exhibits, and I give little kids tours. Does that sound interesting?”, he takes a sip of his drink thinking he finally exceeded in making his job sound lame. “So let me get this straight, you do bidding wars, talk to adorable children almost every week, and get to over analyze pre historic objects?”, he nods. “That doesn’t sound lame at all, you fraud!”, he shakes his head, disagreeing with you.

Only you could find the right words to make his job sound more exciting than it is. “Man your job is so cool, what’s the oldest thing you’ve ever bid on?”, you light up. Every time Tsukishima talks to you, he realizes just how much you remind him of that pipsqueak Hinata, are you and Hinata secretly related instead of Yamaguchi? “Nothing too crazy, I recently won some 400 year old armor the other day. That should be coming in soon along with a couple of swords and stuff.” you let your mouth hang open in shock. “You’re telling me that you’ve held a real sword before and you don’t think that’s cool!?”

Tsukishima blushes, confused as to why you’re so convinced of making his job seem cooler than it was to him. “Kei, you’re so cool. You’re a pro-volleyball player who works at a museum? So not only are you athletic but you’re also super smart? I see why my brother hid you from me.”, Tsukishima chokes on his drink. You patted his back making sure he was okay. Tsukishima gave a thumbs up, looking down at his fingers. He’s received compliments before just not like this. Not compliments that felt like they’re permanently going to be etched in his mind. Or compliments that felt so heavy on his heart that he wanted to explode in embarrassment.

“Oh look at the time! I hope I didn’t keep you too long Kei! My work isn’t too far but I’m not sure how far your commute is?”, he waved his hand not wanting to concern you with that. “Bye bye Kei! We can hangout this weekend! Movie date at mine!”. You left Tsukishima to deal with all the glances of nosy people who overheard you. He picks up after him heading back to his work, texting you “If we’re both picking movies then we have to watch Jurassic Park.”. His eyes bulge out of his sockets, “Deal! I’ve actually never seen it before. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)”. You wait for Tsukishima’s reply, shocked when you look at your phone. “Lame.”

The weekend approached, texting with Tsukishima on and off about what you had planned to do on your date. He wasn’t really surprised when you didn’t end up telling him, chalking it up to it being a suprise. Tsukishima rolls his eyes at your response, heading out with his headphones and bag. Opening the door and locking up, “Hey Tsukki! Where are you headed to?”, he turns around seeing Yamaguchi and sighs, upset that he locked the door for nothing. “I��m going to my brothers for the day. I won’t be back till later so don’t wait up.”, Yamaguchi nods, unlocking the door and stepping in saying goodbye to Tsukki. Closing the door, Tsukishima lets out a breath, maybe he shouldn’t keep doing this. What’ll happen if Yamaguchi finds out, is keeping this a secret even worth it?

Tsukishima’s thoughts cloud over his head, he doesn’t even know how he ended up at your door. Lost in the music and his thoughts, he pulls out his phone double checking if he had the correct address. Knocking once he’s confirmed everything, you open the door, sparkles and all. While he wasn’t going to exaggerate saying all his thoughts just magically went away, being with you did lessen the weight on his shoulders. With you he wasn’t in his head all the time, more present in the moment. When you took in Tsukishima’s quietness you opened the door wider, “Don’t leave me hanging Kei, we have two movies to get through and some cake to make!”.

You know Tsukishima was abnormally quiet, you didn’t want to bother him though. Tsukishima didn’t seem like the person to open up so easily. So instead you choose to distract him, pulling him by his sleeve to your kitchen seeing all the ingredients displayed nicely. “We’re going to be making strawberry shortcake!”, Tsukishima looks over to you. “Did you ask Yamaguchi what my favorite dessert was?”, you blankly stare at him. “No way it’s my favorite dessert too! As if Yams would ever answer any of my questions about you. Plus, it’s super easy to make!”

“What Jurassic Park are we watching?” Tsukishima snaps out of his daze. “The very first one, it’s the only important one anyway.”, you whisk all the wet ingredients together missing the Tsukishima that was more vocal than usual at the cafe. Deciding to do what you do best, fill the silence for the both of you. “I wouldn’t take you as someone who likes something as sweet as Strawberry Shortcake.”, Tsukishima laughs. “I may not be the cheeriest person but that doesn’t mean I lack taste.”, you chuckle looking over to Tsukishima. Starting to see things you haven’t seen before like how he has the faintest smile lines or how he has a scar in between his fingers, most likely from volleyball. These details don’t really stand out to you but once you start looking at Tsukishima as more than just your brother’s Pro-Volleyball player friend, you’ll see that maybe there's more to him than you think.

“Can I ask what you like about strawberry shortcake?”, you say with a soft tone. Tsukishima looks at you, fully taking in your expression before answering. Curious if you were actually asking what he likes about the strawberry shortcake or what he likes about you. Yet you showed no change in your emotion, he debates whether or not to be blunt and define what you're asking. Not willing to put his pride aside, he decides to find common aspects in you and strawberry shortcake. “It’s very vibrant and pretty. It’s not overly sweet, more like sweet in a refreshing way. Every time I take a bite it’s like being at ease, nothing else but me and the shortcake.”, you turn around confused. “Are you attracted to the shortcake Kei? Why are you so detailed?”, Tsukishima’s speechless and embarrassed. You really were just talking about the shortcake. “I was expecting, it’s so yummy or I love strawberries! However, I think you might be in love with strawberry shortcake, maybe you should marry it.”, you pat him on the back then place the cakes in the oven.

Tsukishima fills the awkward silence with what he knows best, music. Playing his monthly playlist, you turn around quickly lighting up at the music playing. You look at Tsukishima but he hastily looks away, feeling very vulnerable at this moment. Your heart pumps in joy, knowing that Tsukishima trusts you enough to share something he loves with you. “Is this ADOY?”, Tsukishima glances down at his fingers, nodding. “You’re right, you’re a man with taste.”, you playfully wink at him. “I saw them live last year, they were so cool! This song is my favorite!”, you reach out your hand in Tsukishima’s direction while singing along. He looks up, shaking his head, accepting defeat and retracting your hand. Feeling that Tsukishima might not be the dancing type. Until Tsukishima reaches for your hand as it almost completely retreats, linking it together with his. You both swayed back and forth, spinning until you felt dizzy as the cake scent filled the room. Laughing when you had to go on your tiptoes to reach your arm over him. At this moment, his thoughts were now completely gone.

As the music stops, you hear your timer beeping. You slowly pull away your hand with a smile, cautious not to cause any misunderstandings. “Oh Kei, you have to come look at this. It’s beautiful!”, Kei looks at the cake not understanding what you’re seeing. Nodding anyway, you put the cake away to chill as you grab some snacks so you can watch Jurassic Park while the cakes chill. “Kei if this movie sucks, you’re so taking me to hotpot again.”, Tsukishima rolls his eyes. “If it sucks it's because you’re uncultured, not because of me.”, you smile happy that he’s back to normal.

“You’re telling me this all happens because some jerk turns off the power in the park?”, Tsukishima nods. “Ok, but who’s smart idea was it to be like “Hey, let’s replicate dinosaurs!”? They’re extinct for a reason!”, Tsukishima questions your opinions. “At least the T-Rex saved them at the last minute. Not all dinosaurs were bad.”, you agree with Tsukishima. “That is until the new ones where they do the exact same thing again!”, Tsukishima chuckles, shaking his head. “No, the Chris Pratt one’s don’t exist, forget those from your brain altogether.”, you laugh. “Well at least my movie won’t scare the crap out of you but first, let’s frost that cake!” you grab Tsukishima’s hand, dragging him to the kitchen.

Grabbing the piping bag and handing it to him, Tsukishima looks at you questionably. “You can’t pipe frosting dino boy?”, his face falls. “Here let me show you, since you’re so clueless without me.”, you press down on the piping bag. Really concentrating on how to delicately place the frosting, Tsukishima watches you. Really glancing at your concentrated face more than your piping technique. “See it’s easy, even though it looks kind of crooked that doesn’t matter.”, you look up to see Tsukishima grinning. You’re taken aback, having never really seen Tsukishima smile before, curious what’s got him smiling. “You must really like strawberry shortcake, if it makes you smile that much.” He shakes his head, scoffing. Tsukishima couldn’t love something, that’s lame.

He picks the piping bag from you copying exactly what you were doing, he backs up noticing that his piping was off. He looks back to see if you were watching, disappointed to see you snickering. Going behind him to help him, “You’re putting too much pressure Kei! Here, softly and pick up, see!”. He feels your hands encapsulate his, your hold firm but yet so gentle as if putting too much pressure would mess up the cake. Blushing at your frame behind him, you slowly let go letting him handle the rest of the frosting. “There you go Kei! You’re the best!”, you flash him a thumbs up, he scoffs in return but you see the blush lightly decorating his face. You smile going off to fetch the strawberries that he cut. Placing them down on the cake while Tsukishima frosts. Grabbing some frosting and placing it on Tsukishima’s nose, he eyes his nose in disbelief, grabbing it and spreading it back onto your cheek. You laugh going to your sink to wash your face, grabbing a knife and some plates.

“Are you ready for the best strawberry shortcake you’ve ever had?”, Tsukishima lifts a brow. “You did hear me when I said this is my favorite dessert right? Meaning I get this often.”, you nod still stubbornly confident. “Meaning I’ve eaten this many times and am a very harsh critic.”, you close your eyes smirking. “Tsukishima, you underestimate my baking abilities. My brother says I have the best shortcake recipe ever.”, he stays quiet. “Your brother's favorite food is soggy fries, I don’t think I trust his opinion.”, your shoulders fall. Cutting a piece and handing it to Tsukishima, feeling defeat in talking up your baking abilities. He takes a bite and falls silent but you notice this small sparkle in his eyes, “I made you eat crow! Tell me Tsukishima, it’s the best! Come on, tell me.”, you wag your finger waiting for his compliments.

Tsukishima avoids eye contact, “It’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be, I’ve had better.”. You lean closer to him, “I’ll accept your feedback but you have to look me in my eyes and say it.”. Tsukishima’s voice falters as he tries to look you in the eye, he notices your eyes zeroed in on him, wanting to prove him wrong. “It’s ok, I’ve had better.”, you laugh calling his bluff. “Well since it’s so bad, I’ll let you take the leftovers home. Any objections?” Tsukishima stays silent, no rebuttal. “That’s what I thought blondie, come on take your cake and let’s watch the superior movie.”

“That is nothing like working at my job. Maybe if I was more delusional and romanticize everything like you do it would feel like that but no, not even remotely close.”, . “I know that this is not what your job is like, duh, it’s a kids movie. But you have to admit it was more entertaining than Jurassic Park.”, Tsukishima shakes his head. You huff, Tsukishima sure was prideful never admitting you were right. “You know if you don’t say i’m wrong then you’re saying i’m right.”, you smirk getting close to him.

Tsukishima laughs, “I aspire to be as wrong and delusional as you one day.”. You stutter back, before getting really close to his face, “At least I can admit when I'm wrong blondie.”, you smirk. Tsukishima’s jaw clenched, his voice lowers as he moves more into your personal space only a couple of inches separating you two. “Are you saying I’m stubborn?”, you smile, knowing he’s playing right into your game. Whispering in a sarcastic tone, “Well look at the state of you, not wanting to admit that I’m right. What would you call yourself Kei?”. You inch closer to him, he stares at your lips, “Tenacious, I would say I’m tenacious.”. You chuckle, holding eye contact with him, not wanting to let him win in making you feel timid.

Kei looks at you then down at your lips, you start to tilt your head. Waiting for Kei to lean in, giving you the green light to continue. He leans in slowly, you start to anticipate feeling his lips on yours. Wondering how he would kiss you, would he kiss you softly? Just as you start leaning in you back away, interrupted by Tsukishima’s phone ringing. You feel yourself deflate, laughing. Of course, the universe was against you. Tsukishima pulls away, groaning as he picks up the call. “What do you want Kogane?”, his voice very sharp and his hands rubbing his brows. “Yes Kogane, I know practice is tomorrow, what about it?”, he now answers very calmly and sarcastically.

Tsukishima looks over to you before quickly fleeting his gaze somewhere else as if he didn’t just try to kiss you. “No way. I’m not going to put it on speaker Kogane.”, he rolls his eyes. “I should’ve never shared my location with you. Fine, I’ll ask her. Don’t call me back.”, you laugh wondering what he was going to ask you. He hangs up, suddenly standing up right, “Want to come to my practice tomorrow?”. Tsukishima watches as your eyes sparkle, happy that he asked you. “Of course! It’s going to be so sweet! I can see your block and you can show me that new serve you’ve been working on!”

Tsukishima gets up after looking at the time, cursing himself for losing track of time. Grabbing his tote bag, “Don’t get your hopes up, I haven’t fully aced it yet.”. You get up going to the fridge, handing him the cake you packed for him. “With me there I think you’ll kill it!”, you wink and open the door. “Be safe Kei! I can’t wait to see you at practice tomorrow!”. Tsukishima watches as you close the door feeling nervous that you’re going to watch him practice. He puts on his headphones listening to the song you were dancing to earlier, smiling. Heading home and text you on the bus where his practice is and a playlist of his. “We’re officially best friends! The famous Tsukishima Kei sent me his playlist! (ó﹏ò｡)”, he locks his phone. Rolling his eyes and smiling at your dorky response.

Arriving home, he hears Yamaguchi still awake. As he places his things on the table, trying to make space in the refrigerator. “You’re finally home Tsukki. Oh? What’s that big container?”, Tsukishima glances back at him. “Shortcake.”. Yamaguchi jolts up, voice raising, “Can I have some Tsukki?”. Tsukishima nods, “Get some before I put it away.”, Yamaguchi scrambles to find a plate and utensils. “This is so good Tsukki, it reminds me of my sister's shortcake! She makes it the best!”, Tsukishima tenses up. “Whatever Yamaguchi, I’m going to go to my room.”, he places it back in the fridge. Quickly retreating to his room to ignore any further questions or comments. He reflects on the day he had with you, anticipating tomorrow as he listens to the same song on repeat.

Walking to the gymnasium Tsukishima sent you, humming while feeling your heart bump out of your chest in excitement. You were never really allowed at Yamaguchi’s games due to your presence making him more nervous. Reaching the gym, walking in to look around, bumping into a stranger, immediately apologizing. He turns around as you look up to him, noticing he kind of looks like a mix of the Pokémon, Dodrio and Farfetch’d. “Sorry miss but interviewers aren’t allowed in here.”, you clear your throat. “Sorry, I just came from work but I’m with Tsukishima, he invited me to watch his practice.”, you scold yourself for coming straight from work. The man perks up in excitement, “You're her!”. You slightly start to shake your head, “Yeah, I’m her? All good things said, I hope.”, the stranger laughs before extending his hand out to you. “I’m Koganegawa, Tsukishima’s teammate.”, you reach out shaking his hand. “You’ve heard about me?”, your chest tightens. Feeling surprised that Tsukishima talks about you since he seemed like the type to keep his personal life quiet. “Oh, we had to drag it out of Tsukishima that he is seeing someone.”, your heart speeds up.

Were you seeing Tsukishima, is that how he described it? You hadn’t thought about it that way, everytime you were going on these dates, you just felt so comfortable that it didn’t even feel like a date. Usually when you went on dates you felt uncomfortable and uneasy but with Tsukishima it felt simple. Shaking your head, paying attention to what Koganegawa is saying. “He was showing up to practice less uptight and leaving practice earlier than usual. When we asked he turned all flushed, we knew something was up.”, he leaned in whispering. “He must really like you if he wanted to keep you a secret that bad.”. You force down your foolish grin, opting to laugh instead, Koganegawa starts laughing with you, finding you and Tsukishima’s relationship adorable. “Ok, Kogane, that’s enough. We’re scrimmaging in ten, get ready.”, you tilt over Koganegawa’s silhouette to see Tsukishima walking over to you. He suddenly stands taller than before, as if he's trying to one-up Koganegawa.

He comes up to you, placing a hand on your back, your eyes widen in surprise. Is this really the Tsukishima who was awkward when you grabbed his hand? Looking up at Tsukishima, who shows no change in his face yet his body language says everything you need to hear. “I’ll show you to the bleachers, Kogane tell Kyotani I’ll be there soon.”, Koganegawa nods, bidding you both goodbye. You laugh taking Tsukishima’s hand off your back, “Jealous much, Sulkyshima?”. Tsukishima turns away, rubbing the back of his neck, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”. Following him to the bleachers, “Whatever you say Tenacious Kei.”, wiggling your brows at him. Tsukishima suddenly regrets ever asking you here, especially if you were just going to poke him while he’s down.

Reaching the bleachers you glance down amazed, seeing all of his teammates getting ready for the practice match. Tsukishima fiddles with his hands, “Best seats in the house for my supposed “Good Luck charm”.”. You glance back grinning ear to ear, “Do well Tsukishima!”. Everyone from below you looks up to see Tsukishima ears turning the deepest shade of red. He nods, heading down knowing that his teammates were going to be picking on him as soon as he gets down.

“Do well Tsukishima!”, Kyotani fakes an obnoxious female voice. Tsukishima stops before facing him, “Who’s cheering for you Kyotani?”, he says smirking. Kyotani quiets down, retreating back to his position. Tsukishima looks up at you in the bleachers, watching you admire the whole gymnasium and the decorations that adorn it. Catching him look at you, sending him double peace signs and smiling. He feels his brain short circuit, sending you a discrete peace sign back not wanting to get any further attention. He hears a whistle blow, his brain instantly focuses on the game ahead of him wanting to put on a good show for you.

You watch as Tsukishima shuts down a couple of blocks, some he deflects to bounce off his hand. Scared to cheer but internally screaming for Tsukishima every time he helps score. A timeout gets called and you watch the teams gather together to rework their strategy. You see Tsukishima shocked with how tiny he looks compared to his other teammates. Even though he isn’t the tallest on his team, his shoulders were still pretty wide. You see why he’s a blocker now, you feel yourself start to get flushed. You smack your cheeks, giving yourself no time to get flustered instead focusing on the game below you.

You continue watching the game, excited that it’s now Tsukishima’s turn to serve. He looks at his hand then to you, you flash him a thumbs up with shiny eyes. Taking a deep breath before hitting it over, accomplishing a jump float serve for the first time. You celebrate because even though it’s picked up by the other team, he did it! You guess you really were his good luck charm. The ball gets passed back to Tsukishima again, watching him serve again but with more confidence than last time. In your head screaming one more point, watching as the ball floats over hitting the ground.

Celebrating as Tsukishima looks over to you as you mouth the phrase “good luck charm” and puff out your chest. Tsukishima covers the bottom of his face so you can’t see his small smile. He feels proud at this moment, winning for you, even if it’s just a scrimmage game. Although he wouldn’t admit that he won or prolonged the game just for you specifically, never. The coach calls the team together, congratulating the team who won before dismissing the team. You look at Tsukishima who waves you to come down. Excitedly jumping down the stairs, jumping into Tsukishima.

“That was awesome! You were like BAM! and BOOM! That serve was unlike anything I've ever seen! It looked regular but then it turned at the last minute! You’re awesome Tsukishima!”, Tsukishima backtracks. “Um, I’m not that great! I guess I was just having a good day today.”, you shake your head. Koganegawa and Kyotani appear behind you, clasping their hands together to mimic you and Kei’s stature. Tsukishima pulls away from you, “I can show you how to serve. Maybe not a jump float but something new for a beginner.”, grabbing Tsukishima’s arm quickly. “Let’s go!”

Tsukishima excuses himself to go get a clean ball for you as you see Koganegawa behind you. “Kogane! You were awesome in the scrimmage too! When you spiked the ball down it was so cool!”, Koganegawa laughs, feeling confident. “It’s called a setters dump. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. You can only do it every once in a while though!”, you feel your heart jump in excitement. Fascinated with the world that was volleyball. Tsukishima comes up behind you, tapping your shoulder. You turn to see Tsukishima guide you to the line. “The net looks so far away from here!”, you glance back at Tsukishima. “You got this!”, you hear Koganegawa cheer for you.

You send him a thumbs up feeling a little bit better now that you have an audience. Tsukishima rests his head near your head, placing the ball in your hand, fixing your arm. He slowly talks through the way to throw the ball and when you should hit it but you’re too focused on him being so close and feeling his heartbeat on your shoulder. He suddenly backs away, watching you from the sidelines now. You throw it up, hitting it over, only for it to hit the net. Sulking that you missed, Tsukishima laughs. “It’s your first time, you’d be naive to think you’d be able to hit it over instantly.”, you sneer at him. “Hey! Not naive, I was just optimistic!”, you square up to Tsukishima trying to copy his posture. Kyotani and Koganegawa walk up to you,

“Don’t worry he sulks when he misses too. I’m Kyotani.”, you wave, saying hi and introducing yourself back. “He’s so pessimistic, he needs someone who balances him out. Right Kogane?”, Kogane agrees with Kyotani, focusing on practicing his serves. “Shut up Kyotani. Come on, pass the ball.”, you look at Tsukishima questioning what he’ll do next. “You’re going to pass to me next, miss optimistic.”, smirking as he grabs a ball from Kyotani. You look him right in the eye, “Ok, you’re on. Don’t go easy on me either blondie.”.

“For someone who was so confident, you’re not the best.”, you pout. “I’m not a professional volleyball player, okay?”, Tsukishima notices you’ve both been practicing for a long time. Kyotani and Koganegawa both left, leaving you both in the gym alone. “Want to serve one last time, I’ll guide you through it.”, you nod. Wanting redemption for what was your last sucky serve, you can’t tarnish the Yamaguchi lineage. Tsukishima comes up behind you aligning his body with yours, softly grabbing your hand. Placing the ball in your hand, as he guides you to throwing it. Lifting both of your other hands up to hit it, watching it go over the met with additional strength from Tsukishima. You gasp, feeling victorious.

Looking behind to see Tsukishima smiling down at you. You freeze, feeling your hands become sweaty and your ears ringing. Without hesitation he softly grabs your face, you lean in tired of waiting for him to make the move. Feeling your lips meet, dancing against each other as sweetly as you both did in the kitchen. You smile into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck as he bends down a bit. Kissing as if it was second nature to both of you, feeling comfortable and vulnerable in this moment. The way Tsukishima always felt hanging out with you, vulnerable but yet so comforted in your presence. Not wanting to pull away but slowly losing your breath, you feel him pull away first, wanting to see your face. He looks at your kiss bitten lips, the flush slowly decorating your face and your eyes glossed over with happiness.

When you pull away all you see is reluctance, Tsukishima’s brows are furrowed, his posture is tight, and he can’t meet your eyes. “I have to close up the gym. You should walk home before it gets dark.”, you reach out to Tsukishima but he just pulls away, retreating quickly to the locker room. You stand there for a couple of minutes wondering if he’ll come out but he never does. You pick yourself up and walk home, wondering what happened in that millisecond of you kissing and backing away. Did he want to keep going, did he not want to kiss you, did you misread his actions? You spiral all the way home, texting him as soon as you get home. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong Kei?”

Tsukishima was still standing in the locker room when he got your text, he watched you leave the gym. He couldn’t help but think that this all got the best of him. He’s going behind his longest friend's back, kissing his little sister. What was he thinking? Yes, he believes you should date anyone you want by why him? Him out of everyone? He knew he messed up when your text had no personal touch to it, at first he thought he misread the ID. Hesitant to answer, scared of betraying Yamaguchi any further but also scared that he’ll hurt your feelings even more.

Yamaguchi was dear to him, Yamaguchi was the one to always snap him out of whatever mental issues he was going through, he shouldn’t pursue this further. He shouldn’t betray the only one who knows the best and worst of him. However, when he thought of you nothing even held a candle to you. Nothing was dearer than you, you supported him, comforted him, made all his faults sound positive. How could he just break your trust like that, he might have been an asshole in high school but he will not allow that to happen again. He won’t let you see that side of him, you don’t deserve it.

Feeling a vibration on your bed you look to your phone, seeing a notification pop up. “I’m fine, I just need to get something off my chest. Tomorrow, can we talk?”, you let out a sigh. Relieved that he even texted you back, “Sure but don’t scare me like that again Tsukishima! (•̀⤙•́ )”. He texts you his address, knowing that Yamaguchi won’t be home till later since he didn’t have a day off. You go to sleep feeling lighter than you did earlier. Curious as to what was going on in Tsukishima’s head. While Tsukishima was charting up all the possibilities to break his problems to you politely as he could.

Knocking on Tsukishima’s door, biting at your lips in nervousness. You watch him open the door as you take in his appearance. His hair is all out of order,, the bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever, and he’s still in his pajamas. Your heart crumbles at the sight, wanting to relieve him of whatever troubles he was having but scared to push him. He welcomes you in and you see Tadashi’s shoes and clothes misplaced everywhere. “Why do you have so much of Tadashi’s clothes?”, you side eye him. Was he cheating on your brother with you? Is that why he pulled away! Oh god this is why he pulled away! “Are you together with Tadashi?”, Tsukishima’s eyes widen looking over at you. “What? No! What are you even saying?”, you still remain stiff not believing him. “We’re just roommates. Did your brother not tell you that he lives with someone?”, you relax just a bit. Sure, they 're just “roommates”, they’re always just roommates. “Show me his room then if you’re just “roommates” then.”. Tsukishima rolls his eyes, walking you to his room, where you walk in and see no signs of your existence, did he really want to hide you that badly.

Tsukishima sees your eyes start watering, following your eyes to see you glancing at all the pictures above his desk. None featuring you or your family, you make a mental note to ask him about that later and reprimand him in the future. Turning to Tsukishima, “Okay, I believe you for now. Next, tell me what’s on your mind because you look awful.”, paying back to him his blunt comments. “I’d prefer we don’t speak in Tadashi’s room. Seems a bit odd.”, you look around nodding. Not wanting to think about your brother at this moment, following Tsukishima to his room. Sitting next to him on his bed while he gathers all the words he rehearsed all night, fiddling with his fingers. You watch as he trips over his words the first couple of times and decide to comfort him. “Tsukishima, you won’t hurt my feelings no matter what you say. You’re my friend no matter what, I’ll harbor no hard feelings. I just want you to be truthful with me, okay?”, you see him nod.

Giving him the confidence to start living outside his mind and speak up, “I don’t regret kissing you yesterday. I regret what’s going to happen after though.”, you look at him intensely. Waiting for him to finish, knowing he’s done with his talk when he stops playing with his fingers. “I thought about it and I like you as more than a friend, I like being with you. However, when we first met Tadashi told me not to go anywhere near you, something about you being off limits.”, you feel your eye twitch. Your brother proclaimed you were off limits while he hid you like the plague. If Tsukishima wasn’t being so vulnerable right now you would’ve raced to him and scolded him. Opting to instead take a deep breath and hold all your comments for the last minute. “I’m nervous that if I get with you, I’ll be giving up my friendship with Yamaguchi.”, he stops playing with his fingers, giving you the okay to talk.

“I appreciate you being so considerate of my brother’s opinion but I’m my own person. Tadashi doesn’t own me, he can’t decide who I like and don’t. I like you too, Kei. I understand though if you don’t want to go through with this relationship if you’re sacrificing a piece of you. I’ve waited for this long, I can wait longer for someone as perfect as you Kei.”, you kiss his cheek getting up for his bed. “Let me know when you’re ready, Kei.”, you start walking to the entrance looking back at him. He nods, glad you’re giving him time to thoroughly think his decision through. He hears the door click, still feeling your lips on his cheek. He goes to lock the door and sit on the couch in silence, letting the clock pass by. Waiting for Yamaguchi to come home, as he contemplates every possible decision in his head. The good outcomes, the bad outcomes, and even the extreme ones, letting them all occupy every corner of his brain.

He hears the door click, “Tsukki, I’m home!”. Yamaguchi turns on the light, jolting when he sees Tsukishima on the couch. “What are you doing? Is this how you spend your days off?”, Tsukishima slowly looks up to where Yamaguchi is. Instead of being overtaken by nerves instead tired, tired of waiting, tired of hiding, and tired of not having you by him. “I like your sister.”, Yamaguchi laughs, waving off Tsukishima’s absurd comment. “Tsukki, did you not sleep today? You met my sister for a second a couple of months ago?”, Tsukishima gets up. Walking to Yamaguchi slowly, “Your sister and I have been seeing each other for those couple of months, secretly going on dates.”. Yamaguchi looks around before meeting Tsukishima’s eyes, “Tsukki, are you sure you're okay? My sister hasn’t mentioned you once?”.

Tsukishima nods, “I wanted to keep it a secret knowing that you said she was off limits. I came to terms the other day that I liked her, I don’t want to hide it anymore.”. Yamaguchi brows furrow because suddenly it all makes sense, from Tsukki staying out late to you ignoring his lunch dates, and the final straw the shortcake. Yamaguchi fastly paces to his bag, grabbing his phone and dialing your number. “Hello Tadashi, What’s up?”, Yamaguchi hands the phone to Tsukishima angrily. “I told him.”, you freeze hearing Kei’s voice over the phone. “Is it true? No, scratch that, why hide it from me?”, you scoff. “The same reason you hid me from your friends, Tadashi. Look, I’m at a cafe near your apartment, I’ll head over right now. Tadashi don’t do anything stupid, please.”, you hang up.

To be honest, Yamaguchi wasn’t upset at the fact you both liked each other more at the fact you both hid everything from him, did everything behind his back. Yamaguchi sits on the couch angrily tapping his feet, awaiting you to arrive. He hears a knock on his door, watching Tsukishima open the door. You smile at Tsukishima, knowing it must’ve taken a lot out of him to tell your brother. “Get in here, now.”, your brother ruins the moment as per usual. Not letting him take hold of the conversation in anger, “Stop, first I want you to calm down.”, Yamaguchi looks over at you frustratedly. “Calm down, you're seeing my best friend and hiding it from me!”, you shake your head. “I didn’t mean to go out with Tsukishima on purpose, okay? My co-worker is Akiteru, when I accepted the date I didn't know they were brothers. It was just a simple fortunate event!”. Tsukishima sees you rambling but he’s never seen you rambling quite like this, this rambling is more like the nervous kind.

Yamaguchi suddenly points at him, snapping him out of his analysis of your unseen behavior. “Speaking of Akiteru, you! You don’t see me sneaking off with your brother! Don’t you hold any form of shame?”, Tsukishima clears his throat. “I wouldn’t mind if you got with my brother because that would be my brother’s decision not mine.”, Tsukishima glances back at you. You feel your breath ease, knowing exactly what Tsukishima is hinting at. “He’s right, it’s my decision. I like Tsukishima and I want you to support me and him, together.”, Yamaguchi glares at you, reluctant to let you and Tsukki get off so easily. “You’re right, I shouldn't hold a grudge against you, you’re a grown woman. You, however, Tsukki apologize to me. This is not very best friend-like behavior.”, you scoff at Tadashi's childish behavior. “Tadashi, stop it.”, you wave away Tadashi knowing he’s just grasping at straws.

“I’m sorry Yamaguchi.”, you and Yams both look at each other than look at Tsukishima, frozen. “You’re right I should’ve told you. I was scared to lose you as a friend.”, Tadashi trips over his words before you stop him knowing Tsukishima wasn’t done talking yet. Tadashi stands there surprised that you know Tsukishima’s body language despite only knowing each other for a couple of months. “More importantly I wanted my relationship to grow with your sister first before I told you anything, I’m sorry for that.”, Tsukishima looks at you. Hoping that you see that you’ve changed his mindset a bit. Yes, he’s tenacious but he’s also pessimistic and not one to admit he’s in the wrong. With you though, he thinks he can improve those parts of himself.

“I’m asking you as my best friend, if you could support us?”, Tsukishima grabs your hand, linking it together with his. As you stumble a bit at the sudden touch but quickly recover and stand up straight. Tadashi looks at you both, nodding. “Okay but you have to name your first born Tadashi.”, you go to hug him, choosing to ignore his comment. “Can I meet the rest of your friends, properly. Start letting people know you have a sister jerk! I’m off the market now, you know so you don’t have to worry!”, Tsukishima rolls his eyes thinking how dorky you sound. You pull back to go by Tsukishima’s side. “So, you apologize now Mr. Tenacious?”, Yamaguchi looks around awkwardly. “I’m heading to my room, don’t be gross!”, you roll your eyes. “I don’t apologize for just anyone, you know.”, you laugh. “Oh, so I should feel extra special since you apologized just to be with me?”, Tsukishima smiles. “Yeah something like that.”, pulling you to him. Kissing him felt even better than last time, he felt free not being held back by secrets or thoughts, overwhelmed by the senses of you.

“Hurry up Kei, we’re already the last ones there!”, Tsukishima rolls his eyes. Not really excited to meet up with his old friends, knowing they’ll just embarrass him. Grabbing his hand and dragging him to the restaurant, “Do you think anything new has happened with Hinata and Kags?”. Tsukishima lets out a breath, “From joining the olympic team, I don’t think so? They just have more of a reason to lose more brain cells over volleyball.”. You smile, “You have to be nice, Stingyshima.”. Tsukishima looks at you in disbelief, “Not you too. See, this is why I was reluctant to meet them. You’re going to start with the name calling.”, you kiss his cheek. “At least I mean it in a loving way, now stop sulking and let’s have some fun.”

Tsukishima and you enter, being greeted by your brother and Yachi first, then making your way to Hinata and Kageyama. Watching as Kageyama and Tsukishima have a weird stare off, Hinata and you laugh at how awkward the two could be. “Hinata, have you learned any new tricks?”, you glare at him excitedly. “Oh nothing too new, Kageyama and I just have to rework our quick but that’ll come naturally.”, you smile excited to see the two work together again.

Tsukishima sits next to you, grabbing your hand under the table. “Don’t worry, these freaks will have their quick down easily. It’s like second nature to them.”, Tsukishima adds slyly. Riling up the pair, “Damn it, Tsukishima.”, Hinata adds. You squeeze Kei’s hand letting him know to cut it out. To which he deflates, knowing he got caught. “What about you Yachi? Design anything new lately?”, she nods. “I designed a new ad to help support the Sendai Frogs actually.”, she pulls out her phone showing the picture to everyone. “Wow, Yachi, this is great!”, you look over the poster and see how it highlights everyone on the team.

“Your teammates look great on this Kei.”, you feel him glare at you. “You’re giving them too much credit.”, you smile. “Yachi, we should talk to our management and maybe get you to design something for the olympic team!”, you fall back watching the conversation flow. Your brother was grateful to have such good friends and you were grateful to now be a part of their group too. Taking a look around, feeling comfort in the conversation, Tsukishima lays his head on your shoulder. The conversation falls silent, “Has Tsukki gone soft?”, Tsukishima looks over. “Shut up Yamaguchi.”

divider credit to @/saradika-graphics, @/thecutestgrotto, @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @/princessantisocial

taglist: @0tsukie

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ melon's marginalia: happy (late) birthday to my pookie pie! i’m kind of on the fence with how this turned out but i’m a tsukishima girly like nothing is ever perfect, okay? ty for reading!! ♡

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyu #hq #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima angst #anime x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukki

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hahaifolded · 4 months ago

Text

141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - Ending Things (Long Drabble) Author's Note: Oh this one hurt to write. And I'm not gonna lie - it's going to keep getting worse from here Warnings: MDNI, Angst

After that one night you over did it at the bar, you woke up, hungover and worried that you had done something stupid in front of the 141. But it seemed like things were fine as everything went on as usual the next few weeks. If anything you assumed something happened between them as you sensed some weird tension among them. But you weren't worried, they're the 141. They'll figure it out.

And it seems like they did after that random meeting in Price's office. But as they returned to normal, your relationship with everyone shifted.

It's like these last few months of camaraderie just disappeared. No more "good mornings", "how are you", "any plans tonight" - nothing of the sort. Instead, it's just commands, orders, and the occasional question about intel and reports, but overall nothing too comfortable. Confused by the sudden switch up, you decide to reach out first and figure out what happened.

If you had done something, then the least they can do is be mature about it and tell you. Because that's what teams do.

So with some recently dropped intel, you knock on Soap's door. After hearing him say enter, you walk in and take note of how the sergeant faltered, surprised to see you in his office.

"Hey Johnny-boy, I was wondering if you could help me go through some files we just got?" This was y'all's thing. He's never turned you down before so in your mind, this was foolproof. Or at least, you thought it was.

"If you can't handle some measly reports, you should probably re-evaluate your career choices. I can't always hold your hand when things get hard. I got my own work to do, you know?," he says, eyes still on his paperwork. Annoyance clear in his voice.

Your mouth runs dry. You try to save face and explain that you just value his insight on things. Your face heats up when he looks at you with the most unimpressed eyes. You apologize for wasting his time and quickly leave his office, feeling embarrassed by the interaction.

What you don't see is the way the Scotsman winced when he sees his door close, knowing that you left feeling like a fool.

Things with Soap did not go well, but you try not to dwell too much on his words. You knew that he had his days so if anything, you probably just picked a bad one.

So that's why you approach Kyle next as he always kept his cool when things were rough. If you anyone would listen to you, it would be Kyle. So the next day, you head to his office, lunch in hand, excited to catch up with the sergeant.

Seeing his door open, you stop at the entrance and knock on the door frame. He glances up and asks if you needed anything.

"No, just wanted to check up on you. Maybe see if you had any ideas you wanted to work through before the meeting," you chirp, eyes beaming with joy. Kyle usually workshopped his ideas with you before suggesting them to the team. But it's been awhile. He's probably been busy with reports and all that.

"With you? Not really."

"Oh, I just thought, you know since you usually--"

"Yeah, I know, but honestly what's the point? You've never been out in the field so what would you know?" He shrugs with that last phrase.

While he had somewhat of a point, that didn't mean you were completely useless. The last few months should speak on that. You try to push back, but he doesn't bother to look at you. Realizing he wasn't going to listen, you leave.

But, Gaz does listen. He hears how your steps get further and further away until he hears the distinct sound of your office door closing.

Okay, things weren't looking great. But if there was one constant in your life, it was Ghost. Despite his prickly exterior, you knew he was a softie at heart.

So you look for him at the base's gym, instead of his office, knowing that he was probably getting some reps in during his break. And just like you predicted, you found Ghost at the bench press with some rookies that liked to test your boundaries. But with Ghost nearby, you knew you'd be safe. Now with a gift in hand, you stand in front of the Lieutenant and wait for him to finish.

After a few minutes, he sits up and questions your presence, adding that he didn't think pencil pushers like yourself went to the gym. Ouch, that was uncalled for, but this was part of his shtick... right?

"Good to see you too, Ghost" you quip. He doesn't react. You falter a bit, but you quickly regained your composure. This was Ghost who you were talking to, he wouldn't hurt you. "Remember the other day when you were complaining about the calluses on your hands? Well, I got you some new gloves to see if they could help," you proudly announce as you drop the bag in his lap.

He carefully opens the bag and takes out the gloves. This had to do it. He's probably going to say thank you, maybe even ask you how you been. And that's your way in.

Or it would have been if the sound of fabric tearing didn't fill the air. Right before your eyes, Ghost was tearing a glove right through the middle. He stands up and towers over you, throwing your gift to the ground.

"Honestly if you spent even half of this energy in your actual work, maybe you'd be worth keeping," he spits. You hear the nearby rookies snicker. After staring you down for a few more seconds, he lays back down and starts another set. You don't bother saying anything as the lump in your throat threatens to give you away. You walk out of the gym, shame filling your core.

But with tears blurring your eyes, you fail to notice Ghost quickly grabbing the gloves off the floor.

And now with three failed attempts in figuring out what's wrong, Price calls you into his office for a check-in. During these check-ins, he'd ask you if everything was going well with the team. You really wanted to avoid inconveniencing him with such a trivial matter, but the other three left you with no choice.

You walk into his office, determined for answers. Or at least, were until he asked you to close the door behind him, an action only reserved for when the conversation was serious. After shutting the door, you take a seat, nervous as his usually friendly eyes aren't there to greet you.

With a cold gaze, Price looks you over and begins. "Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. Your work on the team has been decent at best." Decent? "It's clear that you're more interested in harassing my men than working alongside them." Harassing? "So if you're actually serious about your future here, I'd recommend you get your priorities straight. Do I make myself clear?"

You sat there dumbfounded. How did you get here? Just a few weeks ago, you were confident in your place on the team, and now you're at risk of losing everything you worked for. How? What caused this sudden-- oh.

The night at the bar. The night you can't remember. You probably crossed a line and despite their best efforts to ignore it, they just couldn't. Whatever you did, it must have been bad, because why else would they switch up on you like this? You obviously messed up.

That's why at the next team meeting, you ask Price if you could say a couple of words. Realizing the second chance they were gifting you, you decide to apologize for your inadequacies, for ever making them uncomfortable, and for overall failing them as a teammate when they never once failed you. With that, you promise to do better from here on out.

You leave that meeting determined to prove yourself once again to the team. While Johnny, Kyle, Ghost, and Price leave feeling horrible for making you feel like the monster here.

But that's what best for the team... right?

Word Count: 1371

More Thoughts - Next Thought

#141 x reader #cod x poc!reader #cod fanfic #cod x reader #john price x reader #kyle gaz x reader #simon riley x reader #john mactavish x reader #cod angst #tf 141 x reader

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chaengluva · 6 months ago

Text

Dare - 2

Part 2/2

Regina gets dared to date the loser, no one thinks that she could make Y/n fall in love with her, (Resulting in a bet with Shane) Regina ends up doing the unexpected

Warnings: Nothing too extreme, just light bullying and mocking

As the weeks passed, Regina found herself genuinely enjoying your company. The initial dare began to blur as she laughed with you, shared secrets, and experienced genuine moments of connection. You were kind, funny, and smart—qualities that Regina hadn't expected to find in someone she initially labelled as a "loser."

She liked you

You had another date with each other, she took you out to the theme park and you played games and rode on roller-coaster for hours, at the end of the night was when she asked you to be her girlfriend, of course you said yes.

That was 5 months ago and 29 days, Regina dreaded knowing that she had to break your heart soon, but she didn't want to.

You were sitting on your table alone, eating your lunch and patiently waiting for Regina, as soon as she sits down, you speak up. "Can we go out tonight." You ask Regina, looking at her with hopeful eyes, Regina sighs, looking down at her feet, "I'm hanging out with my friends, sorry."

You always thought that it was strange that she never allowed you close to her when her friends were around, you knew about her high status but it still was sad.

"It's okay, I'm watching a movie with my dad anyway." You say, you were hoping that she would come with you, "Maybe it's time, we meet each others parents." You suggest. Regina frowns, knowing that she doesn't want to break your heart because, she loves you.

"My parents are homophobic, I don't think they would want to meet you." Regina lied, she told her parents that she was lesbian a while ago and they expected her but she didn't want for you to form a bond and then be heartbroken so it was easier if she lied. You frowned at first but then you said, "Well maybe you could meet my dad!"

"Yeah, Maybe." Regina said, giving you a kiss, then the bell rang, "I'll see you tomorrow baby." She hated knowing that she would have to break your heart tomorrow or she would have to deal with the embarrassment of her friends making fun of her, she had to spend her time thinking which one she would rather bare.

She made her way into Shanes house and they all smirked at her, Shane and the others pulled her all into the living room and told her to tell them everything., she put on a façade, boasting about how easy it was to fool you. But inside, she was torn. She started dreading the moment when the truth would come out, knowing it would hurt you deeply.

Regina's friends noticed the change in her behaviour. Aaron, in particular, began to suspect that Regina was no longer just playing a game. "You know, if you keep this up, you might actually start caring for her," Aaron teased one afternoon.

Regina scoffed, but her heart wasn't in it. "As if, she's a fucking loser." she replied, rolling her eyes her friends laughed along to Regina's reply, but her heart broke having to talk about you like that.

"Are you ready to break her heart tomorrow?" Shane asked with a smirk, Regina nodded sadly, she wasn't, but she thought that her social status mattered more so she agreed to go along with the original plan.

The next day at school, you had planed to get her a gift for your 6 month anniversary, you got Regina a necklace that you picked out with your dad.

You make your way to Regina, but, your heart breaks when you see her kissing Shane, you walk away before she could see you, but her friends did and everyone of them laughed. "She looked so sad!" Gretchen exclaimed, "She's probably going to cry to her dad." Aaron said.

"I wanna give her a hug." Karen frowned, Regina agreed, that was all she wanted to do but she was stuck next to Shane.

During lunch, Regina made her way up to you, she knew you would try to walk away or not listen, so she had to play it suddenly. "Uh hey Y/n." She whispered, You stood up and tried to walk away but she grabbed your wrist and pulled you down.

"Don't touch me." You said, she nodded pulling away, "Can I please explain this to you." She says, you throw the necklace you bought her on the table.

"Explain what? That you got dared to date me then break my heart?" You asked and she stepped back, "Look, I'm really sorry." Regina said again, but you weren't having any of it, you just stood up and walked away.

The next few days were the worst Regina had ever experienced. You avoided her at all costs, and she felt the loss deeply. She realised she had to make things right, not just for the bet, but for herself and you.

Regina decided to confess everything in front of her friends. She spoke up when she was sitting on the cafeteria table, drawing everyone's attention. "I have something to say," she began, her voice shaking. She explained the dare, her initial intentions, and how everything changed. "I hurt someone I care about deeply, and I am truly sorry," she finished, looking directly at you. Who happened to be walking by the table and overhearing the conversation.

The table was silent. You were stunned by her confession to her friends, it felt like for once her status didn't matter. After she told everyone she came up to you, "Hey." She said, "Hi." You smiled.

It took time, but eventually, you forgave her. You saw the sincerity in her eyes and realized that people could change.

Regina and you began anew, this time without any lies or dares. She worked hard to prove her sincerity, and slowly, you started to trust her again. The experience changed Regina, making her more genuine and considerate.

Your relationship grew stronger, built on mutual respect and understanding. Regina's friends saw the change in her and slowly began to accept your place in her life. The bet was long forgotten, replaced by a real, meaningful connection.

Regina learned a valuable lesson about honesty and the importance of genuine connections. She no longer cared about the opinions of those who thrived on petty games. She had found something real with you, and that was worth more than any dare or bet.

In the end, Regina won something far more valuable than $200—she won your heart and discovered her own capacity for true love.

#regina george #reneé rapp #regina x reader #regina george x you #regina george x reader #lesbian #gxg #mean girls #mean girls 2024 #angst #fluff #wlw #renee rapp x reader #relationship

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yawujin · 7 months ago

Note

Hello

So I don't know if you're opposed to writing for the v2 boys but if you aren't

Could you please write v2 boys x s/o who is very hard working so when they get focused they forget to eat or drink water a lot &(if you're comfy trans male reader) they forget to take their binder off and rest.

Thxxxxxxxx

ofc i'll write the sdr2 boys i love them

request | sdr2 boys x an S/O who is hard working

type | react , light hearted , non killing game , established relationship , trans male reader

hajime hinata ♡

respects you for working so hard

always reminding you to take a break

hajime's a good listener so you can go to him to talk about work troubles you have

he secretly daydreams of another life where you two can just relax 24/7 so you do not have to worry so much about work

admires and appreciates all that you do

gets really excited when you finally finish your work for the day

kazuichi souda ♡

he gets it

relates to you bc he has had to stay up late working and fixing things

he learned the hard way that he must always keep water or something to hydrate himself while working

he's lowkey the type to ask "have you eaten yet?"

he cares sm about you

even though sometimes he also forgets to pack some lunch for himself for work lol

you two look out for each other always <3

fuyuhiko kuzuryu ♡

you already know he's the type to text you constantly throughout the day

"you're going to eat right?" "there has to be something in the vending machines there you can buy."

angry texts when you say all you had so far was some crappy instant coffee

even angrier texts when you tell him you're working after hours

always insistant on you taking a break (even if you just started working on something)

"i love you so much and if somehow someday you collapse while working i'll never forgive myself"

gundham tanaka ♡

orders you to stop working and take a break

no seriously, he orders you to take some time off

"the supreme overlord of ice commands you to STOP!"

he demands you come to bed and keep him warm

but first he reminds you to take off your armor (referring to your binder)

you still had it on oops

you just laugh a little bit and change

finally, you both can get some rest after a long day

nekomaru nidai ♡

he reminds you not to push yourself too hard

"it's kind of like training, you must know your limits!"

is willing to make a list for with designated times for breaks in your schedule

gets hyped up when you have a day off so you two can finally have a date/datenight

has a whole lot of respect for you and your ability to push through especially hard days

"just keep it in the back of your mind that i'll always be here if you need me for something, got it?"

ultimate imposter ♡

brings food to you

gently urges you to take a break

hugs from behind while you work

prefers it when you work from home

picks you up from work whenever he can

teruteru hanamura ♡

when you come home, the first thing he does is feed you

he makes all your favorite dishes ofc

he can always tell if you neglected yourself during work hours

"can't fool me, as your boyfriend i know what you need!"

keeps track of your days off incase you try to get a head start in working on something new

"nope sorry! can't have that today. you and i are due for a date at the diner"

sends you positive and encouraging and rather suggestive messages while you are at work

nagito komaeda ♡

very persuasive when he's trying to get you to rest after a long work day

you finally choose rest and nagito over more paperwork you need to sort out

"tomorrow's always there" he reassures you

"oh and, make sure to take that off" he says, looking at your binder

you almost finished changing without doing so

nagito gives you some affirmations while you drift off to sleep

"you work too hard..." he sighs sadly. "goodnight~"

⋆ ˚｡⋆ my ao3

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lacybunie · 11 months ago

Text

adieu, mon dieu!

“forgive me, father, for i have committed the biggest sin of all!”

pairing: afab!reader x re4r!leon

warnings: smut, virginity loss, blasphemy, dub-con, inexperienced/pure reader, religious reader, manipulation, cum eating, creampie, pussy slapping, pet names, breeding kink, slight choking, crying during sex, age gap mention (reader is 19 while leon is 27), fingering, porn with plot (?), bit of ooc leon

note: first time writing hence why it’s so long :3 also wrote this based on leon saying “i’ll give you a holy body” in re4r bc nobody freaks out over it like i do

“holy mary, mother of god, pray for us sinners.” the prayer is muscle memory. a smile adorns your face as you walk out of sunday mass with your family. oh how you cherish the time spent in god’s temple. you would not have it any other way. this small, quiet town in washington homes jesus freaks like yourself. where every summer, all children through teens spend their time at church camp. cross necklaces or rosaries are worn around the necks of bypassers and neighbors. you feel as though you are blessed with such a life.

so when leon appears in your life, you think you’re the most blessed girl alive. as the two of you go steady, he starts attending church with you and listens to the word of the lord with you in his black jeep. he listens to your prayers and readings of the bible. leon couldn’t be anymore perfect. “our heavenly father has blessed me with a man who loves me.” pink hues flush your cheeks as you smile giddishly during confession. “do not let temptation fool you.” the priest on the other side taunts, almost as if it’s a warning.

the people of the church disagree with the relationship you have with leon, the eight year gap between you two. more so, they dislike leon. they tell you he is not a man of the lord, he is a walking sin. they share their stories of glancing at him during mass and how he’s appearing to hold back laughter, how he doesn’t actually consume the blood and body of christ, how his eyes are filled with something evil. you choose to not believe them as they don’t know leon as you do. “he is nothing like that, sister olivia.” you defend during sunday lunch, biting your tongue. “you have found the devil in a lover.” sister olivia spews with disgust.

her words are a distraction during your date, echoing and bleeding into the grooves of your brain. “sweetheart?” leon calls as he catches your zoned out state. your eyes connect with his, you break yourself out of thought. “i’m sorry, i was just lost in thought.” you apologize, gleaming with a shy smile. the warmth of leon’s hand engulfs yours across the table, the cold silver of your ring turning hot. “i was asking if you would want to go back to my place after this?” leon repeats what you had muffled seconds ago.

“i’ll have to ask my dad first.” you embarrassingly respond as pinks heat your cheeks. there’s limited privacy with leon, daytime stays at his home with an hour max limit and once every two weeks only. your father implemented this as a way to keep a better peace of mind. “c’mon sweetheart, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” leon persuades with sugar on his tongue. the veil of orange from the candles illuminating the table is covering his face, you might just burst from the ethereal beauty he holds. he’s saying something color-coded yet it’s muffled as the tidal wave of his eyes are drowning you. “okay.” you mindlessly respond, leon faintly smirks.

the little skirt you wear is almost halfway off while you and leon makeout on his couch, something you shamelessly leave out during confessions. you keep your hands on his broad shoulders while he dangerously lingers his hands at your hips and thighs. you think you’re seeping through your panties as you feel a wet patch forming, making you feel bothered. “i feel weird.” you pant between a kiss, lungs aflame from the little oxygen you grant yourself. leon pulls away with furrowing eyebrows, “did i do something wrong?”

yet you’re struggling to understand what IS wrong. why do you feel so…wet down there? maybe you started your period but you realize it ended a week ago. leon’s eyes are burning into your skin, the gaze causing you to feel mortified. how can you tell him this? what if he thinks you’re weird? his girlfriend is wetting herself like a damn fool for no reason. “what is it?” that soft tone of his makes you feel even worse. embarrassment is starting to creep itself into the flesh of your body.

“i feel wet.” you say it so clearly and slowly as if you’re dumbing it down for yourself. you don’t know why you feel like this and you don’t know why it’s happening. leon smiles at the frustration you show, clearly not thinking of your situation weirdly. “that’s a good thing, doll.” he coos while holding your hands. head tilting and ditzy eyes searching for an answer, you are clueless by how this is a good thing. “what do you mean, leon?” “you’re turned on, that’s what i mean.” the blood pumping into your heart turns cold at the realization of what you have let yourself done. one of the deadliest sins of all: lust

how can you let yourself get carried away and almost give into something sacred? something you promised to your heavenly father that you will wait till marriage to do? you clutch the rosary wrapped around your neck, “please forgive me. i’m sorry, leon.” you think leon must be feeling the same way too, realizing you both almost gave into sin. oh how awful he must feel, to almost have betrayed the lord and gave into temptation. leon searches your face in hopes to find something you’re not sure of. “why are you apologizing?” he questions, hands no longer embracing your own.

“for getting you caught up in almost sinning.” “it’s not a bad thing to be turned on.” his voice is laced with something unfamiliar, a tone you’re not even aware of. “but it can lead to having sex and we’re not-” “there’s nothing bad about having sex either.” leon interrupts with annoyance. you can’t fathom how he thinks premature sex is not bad, he’s read the bible with you countless times. the purity ring wrapped around your finger symbolizes the commitment you vowed to and he’s reminded every time he holds your hand. “we can’t have sex, leon. you know that.”

“do you not love me?” leon is frowning at you, taking you aback with his words. “i love you, leon. of course i do.” you profusely confess as you get closer to him. the weight of your chest growing heavy while he shakes his head. “you’re supposed to have sex with the one you love right? then why don’t you? if you love me enough, then it’s not sin.” leon preaches with eyes glimmering with something indescribable. “we won’t have sex, we’ll be making love. that’s different. the lord doesn’t view it as sin.”

different strokes of blue are piercing into your soul, almost like his eyes are trapping you. your mind is foggy as you try to think of something to say. “i don’t think...” you trail off with unsure certainty, but what you want to actually say becomes lost in thought as leon’s cherry-bruised lips pull apart in a smile. you think he’s right, it’s something you probably skimmed over. cold hands caress your bare thighs, leon’s lips kiss the skin below your jaw. “you know i’m right, doll.” he mutters while his teeth lightly nip your skin, you grow hot. “i would never lie to such a pretty angel.”

“i’ll make you feel so good.” leon promises with his hands scrunching up your skirt. the sudden action causing your heart to burst within itself. your dry mouth defeats the words wanting to escape, to tell him to not touch there. you’re also battling the urge to let yourself do so as his hands grasp your inner thigh, sending a rush throughout your body. doe eyes noticing the way leon is looking at you as if you’re a sheep, tethered in his sharp teeth, bracing to become a meal.

two fingers rub you over your panties, the new feeling quickly has you inhale sharply. butterflies flutter around in your abdomen. leon hums as his fingers gather your essence that is leaking through the fabric. “there you are, pretty.” leon lays you further down on the couch. his lips kiss you again roughly and you grip at his bicep as his hands quickly discard your skirt. leon impatiently pulls away from your lips to look at the newly found view, lilac panties adorned with a baby blue ribbon. leon’s favorite color.

the wetness from earlier feels as if it’s completely soaking the fabric. you feel utterly exposed like this, so vulnerable in front of leon. “you’re so fucking sexy.” he sighs out once he finally removes the one thing keeping him away from your forbidden fruit. “please leon.” you’re unsure if you’re begging or pleading. the temperature of your body is uncomfortably hot and you’re sure it’s because your soul is already spiraling down to hell. you want to stop leon from inserting his finger into your sopping cunt, but of course you don’t.

“have you ever touched yourself, doll?” leon asks, while fingering you agonizingly slow. you crave for more, not exactly sure of what. you need more of him. you’re heaving at this point, staring into leon’s eyes as he watches you unfold before him, a flower blooming almost too late. “i’m not supposed to.” you choke out the answer while he begins to messily rub your clit. the smirk resting on leon’s lips is haunting you, why does he always look so desirable with that stupid smirk?

“says who? your god?” leon pushes a second finger into your sopping hole, an uncomfortable stretch soon followed by an indescribable pleasure. the erotic sounds of your cunt being touched for the first time reach your hot pink ears. leon curls his fingers against your spongey walls causing you to squirm. the imaginary coil in your lower stomach feels like it’s on the brink of snapping.

“yes.” you moan while he lightly slaps your cunt. “what kind of god deprives his children of a pleasure such as this? don’t you feel good, angel? i know your pussy sure does.” leon smiles at your reaction for his choice of words, you forget how blunt he tends to be. “d-don’t say that.” “your god can’t be all that great if he won’t even let me feel how your pussy squeezes around my fingers.” the blasphemy hits you like a gunshot only temporarily, the pleasure you’re receiving rids it right away.

you’re shaking your head but you don’t know if it’s from the frustration of leon speaking against the lord or if you’re about to reach sweet relief. “leon.” you hiccup, the pleasure becoming too much and your mind is turning into mush. a tight grip on leon’s bicep has him chuckling, looking down at you so pathetically. “you look so fucking stupid. go ahead and cum for me, pretty.” he grants while your cunt is squeezing so tightly around his digits.

back arching off the couch along with the most pornographic moan to ever come out of your chest, the coil snaps. waves of ecstasy crashes within your body, releasing out of your sopping hole. your thighs are shaking to snap close but leon doesn’t let it happen as he gathers your essence up with his fingers. “god, you’re just so fucking perfect.” leon grunts before sticking his own fingers in his mouth, the honey he has been craving falls onto his tongue. you feel yourself get dizzy at the sight.

leon reaches down to give you a messy kiss, tasting your cum on his tongue. “wanna fuck you.” he moans into your mouth, his jeans rub against your cunt and you’re sure your cum smeared onto the denim. you want to stop right here, you want to run straight to church and plead for your life in the confessional booth. however, when leon pulls away to strip off his pants and his fat, long cock hits his abdomen, you feel that indescribable want grow stronger.

your breathing becomes heavy as leon rubs the tip of his cock at your entrance. his cock looks too big for you, fearing he’ll split you open. the taste of bitter metallic hits your tongue and you realize you’re biting your bottom lip too hard. “i’m so lucky.” leon grunts, dragging his thumb across your bleeding lip. “get to be the first to fuck this virgin pussy.” he barely pushes the tip into your tight cunt when you start crying. the pain of slight tearing mixed with the eternal damnation you’re going to face is cutting at your skin. “please.” your vision is blurry through the tears when leon pushes his cock fully into you, you can hear him let out a deep groan.

the way leon’s cock feels inside of you makes you feel so full. the pain of being ripped open for the first time is soon subsided by a mind clouded with desire, yet you’re still crying. leon moves in and out slowly but roughly, hitting a spot within you just right. you moan wearily, salty tears trickling down into your agape mouth. when leon begins to thrust a bit more hard, you’re sobbing out loud moans. leon presses his hand against your throat, “so fucking loud.” he’s snapping his hips into you, his cock bruising the inside of your cunt so sweetly that you feel the coil about to snap again.

“need to shut that mouth of yours next time.” leon grunts, looking at you in a haze. he squeezes your throat as if to test the waters and you choke out a needy moan, your cunt almost suffocating his cock at the action. “such a nasty girl.” leon smirks while picking up the pace of the abuse on your cunt. baby pink nails are scratching at leon’s biceps. you slur out an apology, clearly not in the right headspace to realize that leon is toying with the rosary tangled in your neck. “oh my-” you cut yourself off when leon’s cock repeatedly hits against a spot so sweet, the coil in your stomach feels like it’s tightening.

“say it.” leon taunts. his hand reaches down to messily rub at your clit once more, your eyes flutter shut. you know what he wants and you don’t think you can push yourself further into damnation by saying the lord’s name in vain. “c’mon, doll. tell your god how my cock is making you feel.” leon tightly wraps his fingers around the dainty rosary, you’re pleading at him through your eyes, mouth too occupied by the moans you let out. “leon please.” you cry out, you’re not sure if you’re begging him to stop the blasphemy or to make you cum.

leon soon loses himself in your cunt, grasping at your hips to drill his cock deeper in you. the stars in your eyes are getting brighter, you’re almost there. dirty blonde hair covers leon’s eyes, relieving yourself of the gaze he had on you. “gonna fucking breed you.” leon laps at your neck, biting at your soft skin as if it’s the bread he eats at church. “you want that? want me to fill you up?” you moan out a incoherent yes, too fucked out to understand what he’s even saying. leon captures your lips in a heated kiss, tongues relentlessly clash against each other.

leon’s cock hits that sweet spot one final time before the coil within you finally snaps. “oh my god, leon!” you moan so loudly, throat becoming faintly sore. your body is shaking at the ecstasy that’s somehow stronger than before, nails clawing at leon’s back that you feel like you may draw blood. “there you go, angel.” leon’s words are drowned out by pure euphoria. you feel the warm essence escape out of your cunt but it’s soon mixed with another hot feeling, leon’s own cum. he desperately shoves his cock into you to rid himself of every last drop. you look down to where you two are connected, the lewd sight brings you back down to earth.

if anyone were to rip open your chest to view the way your heart is pounding, almost punching itself out, they’d think you murdered a man. the burden of betrayal is sitting heavy on your shoulders, all the prayers in the world couldn’t save you now. when you look at leon, who is taking in the sight of his cum dripping out of your cunt, the thought begins to become a crimson haze. a string of pearl beads clutched in leon’s fist catches your eye, you look up at him. a blue hue meet yours, the once bright shade now dark. leon lets out a daunting chuckle, “won’t be needing that anymore.”

sprawled out on his palm is a broken chain along with a few pearls and a tiny cross. leon ripped off your rosary.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil 4 smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x fem reader #idk how to tag this

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fakescenariosbeforesleepblog · 7 days ago

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S.O.S.

König × Wife reader.

I'm the only big guy you need to handle. That's all you need dear y/n.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Warning ⚠️: mentions of violence, weapons but nothing too dark or extreme. Grammar and spelling errors. I wrote it during my lunch break, so have mercy if it's not good.

You're in the kitchen washing dishes, checking if your husband's laundry is already dry, listening to music and dancing everywhere.

Your usual routine is interrupted by a stranger knocking on your door, visitors are unusual since you and König live far from the city and almost in the middle of nowhere.

König always does everything in his possibilities to protect you when he travels or goes on long missions. It's not precisely that you need protection, you can handle the danger very well, but he insists.

And with all the reason, now you're here with a knife from the kitchen, hiding it behind your back. You Open the door and there's two big guys wearing suits.

- Oh, Good afternoon, We're looking for... König?

- He's not here, sorry.

You're closing the door when one of them plants his foot in the doorframe.

- I understand, well, can you tell me when we can find him?

Exasperated and sighing loudly to show how annoyed you're feeling by these intruders, you talk again.

- What do you need from him? I mean, if you know where he lives, how is it possible you don't know at what time you can find him?

One of them is not happy with this attitude, so he lost his Temper.

- Listen To me you little fucker!

The other who looks more professional in his job, puts a hand over the chest of his partner indicating him he needs to calm down to mess up the whole plan.

- Pardon my mate, we had a long trip and we're thirsty, hungry and tired. If we can't find him at least can you serve me a glass of water?

All the danger and alarms in your brain are turned on, ringing uncontrollably, the adrenaline is increasing and running through your veins, it has been a while since you had combat, you're out of practice, so... Why not?.

You left the knife quickly at the flowerpot near to the door, opening it and allowing them to come in, playing fool, inviting them to take a seat while you go to the kitchen.

You're serving the water when you feel the presence of someone behind you. You know what will happen, you've been in this kind of situation before, more times that you can tell. So, it's quick, one of them tries to bring you down, fails, the other runs to you ready to stab you without mercy, avoiding the hit but somehow you feel like you didn't take the best decision, two guys almost tall and big as your husband against you, who's not very strong as before, bad idea Y/n.

So while you're still avoiding punches and trying to not die, you press the hidden button in your bracelet, yes, König idea and after you thought he was overreacting, now you're blessed you have it, basically the bracelet sends an S.O.S text with your location and periodically sends a message with your health status. König doesn't need more details, as long as you're still breathing, that's enough for him to find you and kill whoever made the big mistake to hurt or take what is his.

And it worked, König was landing at the base when his phone received a new notification he couldn't ignore. A red icon that he recognizes instantly. 'S.O.S Y/N'. He felt shivers running up and down, a cold sweat in his forehead and the palm of his hands, his heart beat increased. He runs to his car, driving as crazy while he tries to read about your health status, your location, thank god you're breathing, dehydrated and at home... Well, actually that's not good, how is it possible you're in danger if you're at home? He will know it as soon as he's at the house.

He doesn't know how fast he drove, he only cares about you. He needs to see you with his own eyes. As soon as he saw the house he parked, not exactly out of the house but also not so far, just at the right distance to not make much noise. Taking a different way to get in the house through the backyard, he can see you now, there's broken furniture, bullets in the walls. You have a purple eye, bathed in sweat but you don't seem badly injured. But these two guys are still pointing at you with their weapons, spitting on your face, hurting you, he can't, he can't stay there just observing how they disrespect his wife. His thoughts are interrupted by the conversation between you and the intruders.

- Where is König! You're making me lose my patience!

- I already told you. I don't know.

- You're stubborn. I'll change that soon, we have the whole day little one.

- Go ahead, try.

König always admired how good you are to keep your confidence and calm in this kind of situation. But his heart aches just to see how they treat his woman.

Once again and before he could move, he listens again, this time the conversation is not about him. The man who has been behind his comrade all this time, finally participates in your conversation.

- Wait a minute, I've seen you before, you worked for KorTac. Am I right?

- So what? (His comrade asks like if it wasn't important)

- Man, you were like a legend, a fuckin' pain in our asses during your years of service, how did they call you? Your codename... It was an animal.

- Maus.

- Yeah! That one, oh man! Now look at you, trapped after all those years escaping and surviving to all those explosions you orchestrated, now you're here. How does it feel to be with the claws against your throat?

You're trying to not get mad before responding when a black big shadow passes outside, you could see him through the window. Now you can relax, you're safe. So you can laugh at their faces with that mocking smile.

- Well... Who says it's me the one who's trapped?

Both look at each other concerned by your response, looking around the room searching for any danger, but there's nothing at the sight.

One of them points with his gun on your forehead.

- What do you mean? Tell me, NOW!

He's finishing the sentence when the gasp of his comrade fills the silence, then, the sound of his corpse hitting the ground.

The guy who's still pointing at you doesn't know what hits him, just a giant in black jumping on him, hitting over and over and over again, before the man can die, König demands answers.

- Who sent you? How dare you to point at my wife with your weapon, huh? In my fuckin' house! How did you find us?

The poor guy can't even speak anymore, his jaw is broken. König's anger can be controlled, once he starts it's difficult to make him stop. So he goes back to hit him over and over until his victim can't keep breathing.

König takes a few seconds to recover himself, you have never been afraid of his anger or in whatever he becomes when he wears his mask, he knows it and yet, he tries his best to not let you see that part of him, even if you already saw it like a thousand times before.

Once he's calmed he walks and starts to help you with the ropes around your hands and ankles.

- Liebling, geht es dir gut? (Darling, are you alright?) what happened?

- I'm okay Kö, It's my fault, I thought I could still handle two big guys... They were looking for you and I just thought I could... I'm Sorry my love.

While you're observing him with your puppy eyes, His eyes are full of surprise, but then he simply laughs. He certainly wasn't expecting that answer.

- Oh, Liebling. Wann wirst du es verstehen? (Oh sweetheart, when will you understand?) I'm the only big guy you need to handle.

He places his hands around your face and starts to kiss you, carefully to not hurt you but at the same time intensely to let you know how blessed he feels knowing you're safe. Of course he would find out who sent those guys and he will make them pay for what they did, no one comes to his house and hurts his pretty wife without paying for such disrespect.

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porkcutletbowl44 · 3 months ago

Text

Tags!: MDNI🔞, mutual voyeurism, comfort

(my smut skills are rusty, it's been some time, mostly just practice)

Another note, this is unrelated to Far From Perfect, I just need an outlet because I'm ovulating

Keegan P. Russ x reader

═══════•°• ⚠ •°•═══════

Everything might have just changed permanently, he fears.

Not even 15 minutes ago there was fire and passion, lips and teeth, the taste of skin and leftover sweets from lunch, months of contained lust spilling out in messy bursts, eager touches and labored breathing.

And now? Silence.

You are curled up on the other side of the couch in the corner in a tight ball, wearing one of his shirts and your panties, your eyes cast downward.

Fear? Embarrassment? Anxious? maybe all.

Keegan glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, trying and failing to act as if he wasn't paying attention, how can he not pay attention to you?

He's smoked his cigarette and was halfway through a second one now. The silence is deafening, but the TV in front of you both was on for white noise; a reality TV show running about the lives of rich people, who are now bickering over something stupid like what brand new car to buy and add to the collection.

He tried to pretend like he didn’t notice your hesitance, but that's asking a starving man to not eat. Every movement, every shiver of your body. He noticed it all, refusing to push you further past the limit you've reached.

He didn't want to scare you, or make you feel bad.

He also didn’t know why you backed out.

Keegan let out a sigh, placing the half-smoked cigarette in the overfilling ash tray, as he leaned back into the couch, running a hand through his hair to get it back into place, something you passionately ruffled into a mess.

"Baby," he muttered, turning his head to look at you.

Meekly, your eyes meet his.

Keegan’s heart almost breaks. He hated this. Hated seeing you like this, nervous and unsure, wary and skittish.

Usually you were strong, confident, and outgoing— but right now, you're none of those. He swallows the lump in his throat, slowly sitting up and placing a careful hand on your knee.

"Are you okay…?"

Keegan's frown matches your own as you worry your lip, still swollen from the usual make out session, you avoid eye contact. He lightly squeezes your knee, silently coaxing you to say something, when you won't under these circumstances.

"Listen."

Keegan slowly scoots closer, moving to press his hip against yours, looking down at you as you sit like a curled up, nervous animal.

"Did I pressure you?"

You shake your head, exhaling nervously.

"No, I'm sorry..."

Keegan scoffs. "Don't be sorry. If you didn't wanna, you didn't have to."

Despite his words, his stomach twisted. What if you were lying? He knew sometimes you did that to try and avoid upsetting him, or worrying him. What if you were playing two roles here, unwilling to face his concerns?

He could feel a sickening, cold chill of guilt settle deep into his bone marrow, wondering if he did push you. Did he do something wrong? Is there something you don't like?

His mind begins to whirl with thoughts like a storm: Was I too pushy? Did I go too fast? Did I say something wrong? Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?

Keegan thought he had been respectful, waiting patiently while you were comfortable.

He hadn't tried to push you, pressure you. But now he was worried that maybe he had. He had hoped you wanted this. That you'd be ready, as he was. After months of secret, testing the water touches, sneaking off like teenagers to get a taste of lips, he thought that now would be perfect.

He wanted this. To be physically intimate with you, to seal the deal into something more after months of slowly waiting.

But now?

Now he wasn't sure, and he felt like a fool.

"Promise to not be mad?" You whispered.

Keegan's jaw tenses, his nerves on full alert.

Oh, god. I did something. I pushed her, now it's all over.

Without a second thought, he quickly nodded. You uncomfortably shift in place, fingers wringing together. Immediately, Keegan's mind thinks of a million different reasons why you would be nervous.

Did you have a bad experience? Did something happen before you met him? Was it something he had done? Was it something he will do?

As you finally look at him, you're pumping with anxiety. "I have trouble,"

Keegan’s brows furrow together, head canting to the side like a confused puppy. What could you possibly ‘have trouble’ with?

"Trouble with what?"

You sigh, shoulders slumping in what he assumes to be reluctance.

"I don't have much... experience. And, I had to stop, because I can't... Finish,"

Oh.

Keegan’s mind instantly settles of all the worrisome thoughts, his shoulders sagging as relief washes over his body like a tidal wave. While he isn't the problem in this equation, you have worries of your own that dwarf his.

He wasn't the problem, thank god.

"Hey," he soothes, scooting a little closer. "It's alright. That's alright, baby."

"It's not," you almost cry, turning your head away.

"Yes it is," Keegan counters quickly.

He reaches out to gently grip your chin, coaxing your face to look at him. "You didn't do anything wrong, you don't have experience, that's okay. It's not a bad thing." he explains, leaning in to brush his lips against your temple.

Keegan hates everything about this— the embarrassment, the hesitation and anxiety you feel. How you must feel like something's wrong with you, is fucking jarring.

There's nothing wrong with you.

"I swear, it's okay." he softly reiterates, releasing your chin and wrapping an arm around your waist to scoot you on his lap.

"I disappointed you..." You mumbled, face planting into his shoulder in a lazy slump.

He'd never be, at all, disappointed in you.

For this? For something you can't even control, especially for your lack of experience? Not at all.

"No, no, you didn't." he immediately reassures, pressing a firm warm kiss onto the crown of your head, squeezing you tightly. He tucks his face down into the crook of your neck, gently nuzzling against your skin.

"Never. You could never disappoint me, baby."

He leans back into the couch, fingers pressed into the soft flesh of your hip, his chin resting on your shoulder giving side of your neck a trail of warm kisses.

"I don't care if you have experience or not. I don't care if we don't have sex," he murmurs beside your ear.

It was half true for the most part; he'd been dreaming of finally getting you in his bed, waking up to you, taking the next step in a relationship he was taking seriously for once. And if you didn't want that, or you still weren't ready, then no harm.

"As long as you're comfortable, I don't care. That's all I want.”

"But you will care,"

"No, I won't."

He gently grips your jaw to turn your face and face his, pushing your hair away from your face with his knuckles.

"As long as you don’t care, I won't care. I don't need sex. I just need you."

You pout, he sighs, his shoulders slumping, you're not letting this go or being reassured. He can't blame you, men are known for being needy, needing something tight and warm to dump their cum in and expect enthusiastic moaning in response.

"You're not thinking properly," he murmurs, "You're makin' a problem in your head when you're not thinking logically. Do you honestly believe I'd be mad at you because you don't have experience? Really?"

"I'm mad at myself, I do want to, but it's going to be the same thing every time..."

Keegan groans.

He knew it.

He knew you were thinking something you shouldn't have been.

"Don't blame yourself. You can't help it, and I'm not blaming you. It happens. I understand that. We'll figure it out. Baby, it doesn't bother me."

"It bothers me!" You correct frustratedly, "I want to have a sex life, I want to enjoy it like you can, I want... I want what I can't have,"

Keegan's chest twists into a knot of pain, your confession is raw and honest.

It's insane hearing you speak like this, how you're getting down on yourself, thinking you can't do something or that something isn't right with you.

The first step is making you feel better.

The second is helping you feel good.

And maybe, some wisdom can help.

"Hey, look at me," he whispers, gently tipping your chin up. "It's not just about gettin' off."

Your eyebrows knit tightly, "what?"

He gives a slight scoff, gently rubbing the nape of your neck.

"It’s not about the end. It’s not about gettin' off. That's just the bonus. It’s not the main goal." he states matter-of-factly, lightly squeezing your hip. "You think that you're not satisfying my needs by not having an orgasm, but you are. You're pleasing me. You're makin' me feel closer to you."

"But that's..." You faulter, confused.

You must think it's supposed to be like porn or some shit. Like you're supposed to feel what they are acting, what isn't real. Shame on the ones who didn't treat you fairly, shame on them.

"But what? But how? Don't tell me no one's taken the time to do what you like." he echoes, lightly rubbing your hip.

What you need to understand, is to get out of your own head for a while. That's one of the problems, you're thinking too much about it. You are too caught up in your head, the what if's, the how's, all of that needs to leave you conscious.

"Do you want to know what actually does get me going?" he murmurs, leaning in to brush his nose against yours.

"It's how you smile at me," he confesses, his fingers tracing over your spine, rubbing small circles, "The way your laugh makes me laugh. The way you look, the way you talk," his voice drops an octave lower, the words coming out like a grumble. "That's what makes me want you, and those small things are better than an orgasm."

"So you just pop a boner every second I'm here?"

The bark of laughter that escapes is true and gravelly, a slight chuckle bubbling in your own throat. And, yes, you are correct.

"You make it sound so crude," he retorts, "but I ain't gonna lie. I do get hard for you. Lots. Especially with the way you dress, and the things you do, even if you're just going about your day."

His fingers trail up and down your spine, tracing the outline of your shoulder blades. He nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, enjoying the intimacy of just holding you.

"Being hard is just a little reaction, baby," he murmurs, lips lightly brushing against your neck. "It doesn't mean it has to lead to something."

"I want something like that with you, though,"

Keegan frowns.

"You already have something like that with me," he soothes, placing kisses down your neck, lips pressing against your racing pulse. His hand slides up under your– his –shirt to rest against the small of your back.

"I told you, you're already pleasing me. I get like this without you trying to do anything." he murmurs in your ear, gently nipping your earlobe. "It just happens, baby."

You let out a ragged sigh in frustration, and this time you are trying to focus to his satisfaction. "No, Keegan, I want to sleep with you,"

You want him.

It awakens something in the deep, dark recess of his mind. A low growl echoing in his ribcage, ricocheting off the columns of bones, a beast coming out of a deep hibernation with an insatiable hunger shows it's ugly head.

"Yeah," he exhales, shifting in his seat, trying to ignore the way your words and bluntness are stirring something in his gut.

"That's obvious." he breathes.

"And it makes me think I'm selfish to say that I won't get anything out of it, because my body doesn't want to cooperate."

Keegan's eyes soften, the sight of you being like this cutting through his feels like a knife. He looks at you for a moment, silently trying to think of what to say. To reassure you, to comfort you.

To whoever hurt you like this, death is too kind of a sentence.

Then he lifts his hand, gently running his knuckles down your jaw, "You aren't selfish for wanting something. Nothin's wrong with you— there ain't a person alive who works perfectly."

You're going to keep blaming yourself, he knows it.

He knows you’re going to continue to tell yourself that there’s something wrong with you, that you won’t satisfy him, that you’re a disappointing partner and will continue to feel this way until you snap.

You won't break while he's around.

He won't let you be like this.

He has an idea.

"Listen to me, angel." he rasps.

He cups your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. His thumbs gently graze your cheeks, forcing you to pay attention to him.

"You're gonna do it."

Do what? The question sits on your tongue before it's squashed out of existence as he lays you against the arm of the couch, his legs prying yours apart to lay opposite of you.

"I'm going to teach you something," he grunts, settling on his back while you're splayed out half on his lap like a silver platter.

"Show me what you like."

"Like...?" You prompt tensely, fingers curling into the hem of his tee sprawled on the top of your thighs.

"I'm serious," he responds, his hands slowly trailing up your leg, fingertips brushing over the outside of your thighs. He gently pushes up the fabric of his shirt that you're wearing, your pretty panties on full view for him to see again.

"I'm completely serious. I wanna know what you like, baby. This," he grabs the inside of your thigh, giving it a squeeze, "—its all about connection. Not the sex itself. It's trust,"

You squirm under his gaze, your skin painting with color, teeth capturing your swollen lips- oh, Keegan's always had a thing for the shy ones.

"You want me to—"

"Touch yourself."

He slowly drags his hand down to your knee, pushing it further away, tucking the bend over a thick thigh. His touch is careful, and his words come out low and quiet. Hungry.

"I want you to show me. I want you to trust me enough to show me what you like. Tell me. Guide me."

For a moment, you just blink and stare in shock. He just rubs his hand up and down your calf, trying to bring you out of your stupor. This, the problem, is that you think too much. You're over complicating something that is meant to be fun, something that can be amazing.

"Hey, hey." he calls, giving your calf a small squeeze. "Don't get lost in your head, baby. Come back here. Just nod and then tell me. I won't even touch you,"

The trepidation in your eyes holds you back, the cogs churn in your head, a dozen thoughts flashing through. You need to trust him with this, but he also understands that he shouldn't push you. He can't push you and he won't.

"It's just me here, baby. Just wanna watch, that's all I'll do." he reassures, "Nobody else. It's just us."

Your skin is silk under rough callouses, like a calm night in the ocean pushing against the barnacle riddled hull cutting through in a choppy push and turn.

"Don't think, just follow what feels right. I won't pressure you or touch you unless you want me to. It's all up to you. Can you do that for me, baby?"

And then the moment of truth, you nod.

"Good girl."

Keegan gives a slight nod, his expression struggling to hide his excitement, the curiosity for something new. He gently grabs both of your thighs, coaxing you to bring your legs up until your feet lay next to his ribs. From his angle he can see between your legs, that small wet spot at your slit already forming, he's becoming hot and heavy at the mere sight.

"Just relax," he mutters, "Just relax, baby. I just want you to feel comfortable."

You hum quietly, moving with his guidance to situate yourself.

"That's it," he whispers, his breath coming out in a deep exhale.

His hands slide down your soft thighs, watching intently as you make yourself comfortable, your body open and exposed to him. You squirm your back around, elbowing the pillow behind you to lay comfortably on a even surface. Your hips wiggle down, accommodating for his wide man spread.

God, this: seeing you like this, the way you trust him, the way you listen to him. It makes his heart race to no end.

"Alright," he murmurs. "You're all done? You're comfortable?"

You nod again, your face tucked down as it turns a warm, deep red color from the exposure and sheer shyness of the exposure.

"Look at me," he quietly reminds you. "Stay here, don't get lost in your head. You're doing good, baby."

You exhale softly and nod, limbs going lax over his legs.

Keegan's eyes rake over you, taking in the sight of your bare legs opened for him, your thighs trembling softly around firm muscle prying them open. His hands glide over your calves, fingers tracing along the soft flesh.

"Fucking beautiful like this," he murmurs, the comment slipping from his lips before he can even realize it.

He bites the inside of his cheek, silently scolding himself for his outburst. He not trying to scare you, doesn’t want you to think he’s some perverted freak. He might be, with you. He just thinks you look amazing like this.

He rubs his hand up and down the inside of your calf, hoping to distract you so he can get his bearings.

"So smooth," he comments, shifting his hips, "No razor burn."

He watches as your hand drifts down the front of the shirt you’re wearing, tracing down your stomach to the waistband of your panties. He swallows hard, thoughts becoming dirtier by the second.

"I want you to take the shirt off," he instructs rough and deep, a way to gather himself before the show starts, "I want to see you."

A low growl vibrates in his throat as you pull off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. His eyes rake over every exposed inch of skin for the second time, drinking in the sight of you like a starving man.

It's just as good as 20 minutes ago, seeing you shirtless for the first time and this is just as good.

He lets out a shaky pant, his hand gripping the edge of the couch cushion as he forces himself to stay still.

"God, look at you." he whispers, his eyes roaming over your breasts heaving with your breathing.

Keegan's eyes are snap to your hands as they go to your panties, watching as your fingers lightly dip beneath the edge of the lacy waistband.

He keeps his lips pressed tight together, forcing himself to remain still and quiet. A quick rush of excitement and anticipation swirls inside of him, stirring up his insides.

"Slide them down." he instructs in a rough and gravelly strain, "Slowly, take them off, baby."

Your fingers push them down over each swell of your hips, hooking off your ankle for his greedy hand to snatch them away from you, stuffing them unceremoniously into his pocket.

He returns his hands to rubbing your legs, trying to soothe and distract you so you’re not so shy and uncomfortable.

"So good to me," he murmurs, shifting in excitement. "You’re doing so good."

You shiver under his hot touch, the gentle brush of his fingers sending tremors through you.

"So goddamn sexy, baby," he whispers, squeezing your thighs. His gaze rakes down your now-naked body, his dark eyes drinking in your glistening pussy.

He knows he's losing control. He's slowly becoming more impatient. He wants to touch you, to take you, but he has to remain vigilant. Has to do this for you.

He has to hold back his base primal instincts. He can’t remember the last time he was this excited, this turned on.

You look so goddamn beautiful.

Your fingers shyly touch, aware that there is an audience as you play with your slippery folds.

Keegan has almost turned into a statue, his body unmoving save for the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He watches intently, his hands clawing into his thighs to keep himself under control.

You're so unbelievably wet, and he promised to not touch you and he hasn't, and you're wet.

He’s almost aching to, so tempted to take over, to bring you the pleasure he knows you want, what he knows he can bring.

For now he can imagine your hand has his.

"Go on." he murmurs, his voice thick, "just go slow for me, baby. I'm right here."

Your fingers push your folds apart for him, your hood pulling back to expose that oh so sensitive clit poking out. Your labia slumps to the side, your drooling hole leaking everywhere—

Keegan purrs in need, at least he gets to see your bare cunt like this for the first time. Every tease, every ghosting touch, he imagined as his own.

You let out a shuttering breath as you circle your clit slowly,

"Y-You're just gonna... Sit there?"

He wants to touch you, to replace your own fingers with his, that is something he will confidently admit.

A low guttural growl rumbles deep in his throat, his breathing becoming more and more ragged. This was a bad idea. He should've just picked you up and brought you to the bedroom, took it much slower, gave you all the attention you need, not done this.

He didn't realize how torturous and good this would be.

"Yes," he grits out, his eyes glued to your fingers. "Just watching you."

Your fingers trace down to your hole, curling in only to cover it from his eyes.

He tears his gaze up to you like a heavy weight with a heated look, "Unless you want me to do something?"

He does want to do something, to touch you and give you the sex you deserve, but this is for you. This is to see what you like, how you react to things, how you want it.

He's doing this for you.

He's doing it to please you.

"Relax. Do what you'd normally do. What you like, feels good doesn't it, baby?" he rumbles. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, trying to ease the dryness in his mouth.

Your hips jerk up softly, the length of your finger grinding up and down, up and down, slow and rhythmic, every pass of your second knuckle brings a twitch to your thighs.

"Can you... Do it too?" You breathe, forcing your eyes to stay open as your fingers work.

A small smile stretches across his features, a thrill of excitement running through him at your request.

"I'm gonna need a little more than that, baby," he growls, his eyes struggling to decide looking at you, your hand, and your absolutely soaked pussy, "Say exactly what you want me to do."

You whine, "Touch yourself too,"

A shudder runs down his spine at your words. This…this is not how he thought this would go. He didn't expect the roles to be reversed, to be the one being put on the spot like this.

The thought of you watching him as he touched himself…

"Fuck," he grunts gruffly, his cock twitching against the inside of his waistband.

He palms himself as his head dips back, growling lowly. He just needs a moment to collect himself. He just needs one moment of clarity.

Finally, after a few tense seconds, he looks up at you, undoing the button and fly to tug himself out. He definitely didn't think this would be how you see him for the first time, but fuck it there's a first time for everything tonight now.

He's unbelievably hard. Tip tacky with smears of pre cum that's still drying on his hip, flushed red and angry, veins popping on the underside of his shaft.

You whimper softly, fingers slipping down to collect slick and rotating back.

He lets out a harsh breath, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head. He'd just need a little bit of stimulation, just something to match you.

"Give me some," he orders.

Your fingers delve into your folds, gathering what you can and coyly reaching for him, lathering his base up to the ridge of skin on the underside of his cock.

Keegan lets out a hiss, his eyes fluttering shut. The muscles in his abdomen flex hard as you touch carefully, a shudder running through his body at the contact.

He feels like he's going to bust any second.

Your touch was heavenly. He was aching and now your touch was just teasing him.

A low guttural growl emits from him, a deep rumble in his chest.

"Don't look away." he demands, his eyes locked on you like a predator and it's prey.

His hand closes around your wrist, stilling your movement for a moment.

"See how bad you've made me want you?" He rasps darkly.

He releases you, purring in satisfaction as your fingers work desperately on yourself, chasing that lightning bolt feeling deep inside your aching cunt.

"Do what you'd normally do," he instructs in a low rumble, his hand stroking in time with you. "I won’t move."

You've done a number on him, making him so hard he's almost about to cum at just the sight.

He wants to break.

He's just about reached his limit.

His muscles are tense and his blood is pumping, and it's taking every ounce of his restraint to not pounce and devour you.

He's in too deep now. He can't back out.

He's just got to see it through.

This is about trust and about letting you take control.

It's not unwelcome, but it is certainly different.

"I like watching this. Seeing you like this," he pants, his hand squeezing as he downstrokes hard, "So damn sexy, knowing you're all mine, huh?"

"Yours," you mewl, your hips straining up against your fingers.

Keegan's other hand is curled into a fist so tight he feels as if he might break it. He strokes himself tighter, ruddy tip peeking with every pass.

The sight of him makes you writhe in place, your fingers almost slipping off yourself with every frantic motion.

"Yeah, that's right," he grunts, shifting himself so he has a better view. "All mine. This is mine. Show me. Show me what mine looks like."

One dainty finger sinks into your far to empty hole, your slit stretching around the thicker base of your finger.

Every muscle in his body tightens, his eyes rolling almost to the back of his head. His hand speeds up as he watches it live, his breath turning into hot pants.

"Holy shit," he rasps, unable to look away how your finger tells him how tight you are.

His hips roll upward, aching for pressure, for someone to touch him. He's dying to be in you, to feel that tight heat.

"Yeah?" he breathes huskily, "Feels good? You like that angel?"

"So good, especially right here—" you whimper, palm angling down on hyper sensitive nerves.

He looks wrecked, he is wrecked, his mouth open and panting, his eyes locked on your body like a starving man.

"Show me, let me see more,"

"I-Its inside," you murmur meekly, your pupils blown wide, showing the pretty glimmer of tiny tears.

"Yeah?" he purrs hoarsely.

He shifts his legs wider and dips his chin down to watch you fuck yourself to him fucking himself. His brain is overloaded, completely overwhelmed. He's not sure how much more he can handle, how much more he can watch.

"How deep?" he growls, flaring tip coming into view as each tug pulls foreskin away.

Your thighs twitch, toes curling next to his waist.

"I can barely reach," you whimper.

A guttural sound emanates from his chest, his body almost trembling from the effort of staying still.

"Show me, baby," he instructs, "Show me how far you can reach."

His eyes are glued to your glistening finger as you lay it on your pussy, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, He's never seen someone like this wet before, this needy, for him. He's going to lose it, the control he's kept so closely being ripped from his grasp.

This was too much.

Having you so willing, so open. It's almost too much

All from him.

"Shit, I'd do anything to taste you. C'mon, don't stop now," he begs breathlessly.

This, you were driving him crazy, making him want to do things, say things.

He's never like this, normally in control of himself, but there is something about you that just makes his head spin, makes his control slip.

You're an image of pure lust and ecstasy, something for him to relish and drink in, and that's all he can do.

"Good girl," he croons roughly, "so pretty when you do what you're told."

He’s completely lost in the moment, his breathing heavy and ragged, the wet sound of your slick as lube for his cock, the soft feminine pants coming from you, this is the best he's had and he's not even fucking you.

"So good, aren't you?" he rumbles, his eyes locked on you like a hawk. "You like this, huh? Tell me how it feels."

The sounds coming out of you have him absolutely weak he hasn't done anything to you, his head is almost spinning from lack of blood.

"S'good," you slur, the pads of your fingers pressing into your bud harder.

He pants and grits his teeth at the sight, resisting the urge to move closer to you, fuck you with his fingers, his cock. His eyes are hooded, his gaze dark and heated as he watches you, a low guttural growl purring in his chest.

"Yeah?" he grunts, his body trembling with the effort to remain still and not cum. "Keep going, you gotta tell me more than that."

Keegan is a man of straight to the point. Always has been, needing direct and clear.

You gasp softly, your hips canting against your fingers, "Feels s'good I wanna... Put your cock in my mouth and.. play with myself,"

His body jerks and trembles when your words ring in his ears.

"Oh fuck." he hisses, his head tossing back.

He loves watching this, seeing you tease and play like he's not there.

He's never heard you this vulgar before, this crude, he's pushed you so much to this point.

He doesn't mind it though, in fact he thinks it’s beyond hot.

"You want that? You gotta come first," his hand pumps faster.

You whine, "yes,"

His hand is almost a blur, his eyes glued to you. His head struggling to not roll back.

"You're so damn close baby," he croons. "I can see it. You just gotta let go." He pants, swallowing hard.

The pressure is building, rapidly, unstoppable.

"Stay with me, alright? Keep going, just focus, you're doing so good,"

Two of your fingers rub furiously at your clit, moaning and watching his fist tug himself off to you.

"Don't look away," he warns, his voice gruff and thick. "Keep those eyes on me."

He's barely holding it together, barely holding himself back as he watches you. He's completely captivated, unable to look away.

"Just a little more," he rumbles, his hand working in time with your own, "You close?" He almost mocks.

"Yes," you whimper, legs shaking and flexing.

"That's it, baby, I can see it," he groans, his hand pumping faster. "You're almost there."

He's almost delirious, so lost in the moment he's not even caring that he's dry jerking.

Your fingers circle twice more, a breath stuttering in your lungs, eyebrows scrunching, and oh— there it is.

It's pure, raw bliss on your face. Your eyes screw shut, your thighs shake on top of his, your hole fluttering around nothing—

That does it for him.

With a throaty groan he creates a tight fist over his cock head, cumming messily and seeping out through his fingers on his stomach and soft patch of hair below his navel.

“Goddamn," he murmurs roughly, watching as your body quakes and trembles with pleasure. "Good girl, good girl," he praises with heavy grit in his voice, his hand slowing with every pulse of his cock.

The look on your face is one of pure bliss, of pleasure. He's absolutely enamored by it.

"Come here," he rumbles, reaching out for you. He pulls you to him effortlessly, placing you between his legs.

His skin is burning, his drive to show you how good you are, how good you did overpowering all logic. He grips the back of your neck, fiercely kissing you with fervour.

"Did so fucking good, angel."

You melt against him, ass perched in the air chest to chest and kissing him back. He grabs a handful of your hair, tilting your head to kiss you deeper and knead one of your ass cheeks.

"How'd you like that?" he rasps as he continues to kiss you, nipping softly along your jaw.

He can't stop his hands, they're roaming and touching you everywhere they can, pushing your tits up to sit in his palms, finger dimpling into your soft waist, his tongue licking into your empty maw.

"Believe me now? How perfect you are?"

You moan brokenly against his lips, and just like that he's hard again.

#sorry I'll go back in my cage #This is down bad #can you blame me though?#keegan p russ x reader #keegan p russ smut #keegan p russ #cod ghosts #keegan x reader #keegan russ x reader #call of duty #keegan russ #cod keegan

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enderlovez · 7 days ago

Text

How To Never Stop Being Sad

Spencer Reid x Female Reader WORD COUNT: 2900+

Summary: After the death of your parents, you have nobody to talk to, nobody to turn to for help. Spencer wants to help, but how can he when you don't want him to?

Content Warning: readers parents are dead, brief description of a car accident, insinuated abuse, readers dad was an alcoholic, readers mother was a drug addict, mentions of heroin and being high, mentions of overdose, self-blame, intentional sleep-deprivation is insinuated, metaphors about demons and God, prescribed drugs and irresponsible mixing of drugs and alcohol, reader is depressed and lonely, suicidal ideation, references to self-harm (nothing happens and it's not explicit)

────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────

Repeat to yourself that they're not really gone Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie Is the most effective way to deal with things You have no control over

Realistically I know it's not really my fault.

I've made it clear time and time again that I never wanted to see them again, and yet, their car went off that bridge when they were on their way to come see me.

I was on my lunch break when I got the call. My parent's car had driven off a bridge into a river. My dad was intoxicated so he didn't see the truck driving head-on at them until it was too late to do anything but swerve off the road, and they found that my mother had a substantial amount of heroin in her bloodstream.

Enough to overdose, had she not died in the accident.

It's not my fault, I know it's not my fault...

But I can't help but think that maybe if I had been a little more clear about what I wanted from them, or better yet, sucked it up and stayed in contact, things might've turned out a little bit differently.

Growing up with a drunk dad and an addict mom was never easy, and it was a relief to leave home the moment I turned eighteen and move across the country, but they're dead now. They're my parents.

They were my parents.

What kind of girl kills her own parents?

Now I just try not to think about the bad stuff. Pretend that they're safe at home in Washington, still distanced from me, but breathing.

But they're not. Now they're just hunks of decomposing flesh six feet underground, like they never even existed in the first place.

Trying to convince myself otherwise only makes it hurt more.

Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you Overanalyze every single word you hear 'Was this a sign that things were going wrong?' No, no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

My mom was much like me in the way she never really had any friends, partly because she didn't want to burden them with her addiction issues, but mostly because she never had the time.

'Hi, it's Rachel. I can't answer the phone right now, but please feel free to leave a message after the beep! BEEP — only kidding, that wasn't the real beep."

She sounds so chipper in her voicemail, but I know the truth. I was there when she recorded it, sitting right next to her on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands, she was high out of her mind the entire time.

It's one of my best memories of her — the only fond memory I have, actually, because it was the first night since I was a toddler she actually realized I was even in the room with her.

A low bar, but one I happily set for her.

I was a child, after all, what else was I supposed to think? All I knew was that Mommy was finally paying attention to me.

'Hi, it's Rachel. I can't answer the phone right now, but please feel free to leave a message after the beep! BEEP — only kidding, that wasn't the real beep.'

'Hi it's Rachel. I can't answer the phone right now, but please feel free to leave a message after the beep! BEEP — only kidding, that wasn't the real beep.'

'Hi, it's Rachel. I can't answer the phone right now—'

She may have been a terrible mother at times, but God do I miss her voice.

And sometimes I wonder if this little moment together was the real her breaking through the drug-induced haze she seemed to be in at all times. I wonder if this was a sign that she cared enough to make some changes for my sake, possibly run away from Dad with me.

For the love of her only child — her daughter.

But I know that's not the truth. I was always the one who loved her, not the other way around, and that's the way it always has been.

She was just a little delirious.

Stay up every single night staring at your phone Either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons, These constant reminders of your loneliness Into nothing more than a bad dream Or praying just for one second You could feel the warmth of equally returned love

Most nights I don't even go to bed anymore. Instead I lay on the bathroom floor with the light switched off, the bright light of my phone illuminating my face.

I'm not doing anything on it, just staring at my home screen, as if that'll fix all my problems for me.

I think I'm too far gone to even be fixed.

Maybe it would be better if I just... didn't exist anymore.

It's a thought that frequently crosses my mind. My coworkers never speak to me enough to be considered my friends, yet they're the closest thing I have to them. My parents never had another child, and they themselves were only children, so I have to family I can talk to.

Really, when you think about, there's not that many people that would care if I were to die tonight.

But I'm already shattered beyond human comprehension. I don't want to be seen as weak, too.

So here I am — not religious in any sense of the word, but silently praying to anything that might be listening as I stare blankly at my phone screen. To bring anyone along that'll keep me from being completely alone, anything that'll give me a reason to continue living.

A person to love me. Just for a moment or two, just enough to keep me here a little while longer. To free me of the burning chains shackling me down.

Only God could relinquish these demons, is the conclusion I come to, and for a single, morbid moment, a thought crosses my mind —

What if that relinquishes me, too.

Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself Always bring your notebook, never stop writing Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip Watch them smile as you get in your car

Coffee doesn't mix very well with the antidepressants I'm on, it makes me all anxious and jittery. But the pain of the adrenaline racing through me at all times, it's like an addiction.

I hated coffee when I was younger. Still do hate the bitter taste of the stuff, but the effects it has on me are like a drug.

Coffee doesn't mix well with the antidepressants I'm on, it makes me anxious and makes it harder to sleep at night. But the pain of having to keep my eyes open, it's like an addiction.

I hated coffee when I was younger, and I still do hate the bitter taste of the stuff, but it's effects are like a drug.

The worn pink notebook in front of me is open, its pages filled with my thoughts and whatever random ramblings I come up with that I have nobody to share with.

It's the only way I can properly get my thoughts in order, having them written down. It's what my therapist suggested I do. Not going out for coffee, but sitting down and journaling. And she said that being kind to others might lead to more self-acceptance.

It won't, but surely there's no harm in trying.

Lately, I've been leaving little thank you notes with my tips as I leave the café I frequent. I have to admit, it lightens my mood a little to see the smile on the workers' faces as they tuck the little pieces of paper into their pockets, but I wouldn't say it makes me feel any better.

Not about myself, anyway.

Still, I continue to leave them on the table for whoever cleans up my mess to find, car idling out front until the smile brightens their face.

Talk down to yourself whenever possible 'My life is shit because I deserve it, right?' You must have done something really bad It's nearly impossibly for you to cry now

There are times that I wonder if I'm worth all the trouble.

I'm so battered and damaged and broken, there's really not much point trying to put me back together.

There's this one man I work with — Spencer — who I think is trying to undo all the hurt. He's extremely intelligent and a profiler, so I think know he can see everything that's wrong with me.

And I hate it, more than anything.

I hate being so vulnerable in front of someone, that's the one thing he doesn't seem to realize. The discomfort I feel when he watches me, peels my psyche apart piece by piece like I'm some kind of project.

But the thing I hate the most is how much I enjoy his presence. I've had friends in my life, but they're few and far between, and they almost never want to deal with me.

Spencer is unlike anyone I've ever met. He doesn't seem to mind the extra weight I carry on my back or how it's often hard for me to communicate — doesn't care that I'm practically never okay.

I've told him so much about myself, more than I've ever told anybody before, practically everything I can think of. Never having someone to talk to leads to major oversharing, but he doesn't complain, just quietly listens.

The one thing I don't bring up much is my childhood, but I'm sure he can deduce that it wasn't very good, from the things I've already said.

'Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I deserve this,' I told him once, face blank of any emotion as I typed on my computer. He never commented on that, but responded with a non-question of his own.

'You never cry when you talk about this stuff,' he'd mentioned one time while he was sitting in my office with me, eating his lunch as I worked. 'Generally speaking, when someone's talking about something that upsets them, the natural reaction would be to cry.'

I wanted to tell him that nothing about me is natural.

'Suppose I just don't have any tears left.'

And in true Spencer fashion, he rattled on about how you physically can't just run out of tears.

Avoid your friends for weeks even though They're the only sense of consistency you have left in your life If they really wanted to see you they'd come, but they won't Who cares?

Spencer is my friend, there's not doubt about it. He does his best to make me feel better about myself when I'm down, which is all the time, and horrifyingly enough, it works.

Horrifyingly enough, I hate the feeling of it.

So, for that very reason, I've been avoiding him whenever possible. It's been weeks now, and the only time I've seen him is when he shows up at my office before I can rush out for my lunch break. His sad puppy-dog eyes only work to make me feel worse, as I leave.

My address is with the rest of my information, which is (strangely) quite easy to access. Admittedly, I've been hoping that he'll find it and show up at my door. That he'll care enough to make sure I'm okay. That he likes being around me enough to come see me himself.

But he never does.

I can't really blame him for that, though. I think I would do the exact same thing, if I were in his shoes.

The truth is that I miss him, more than I've missed anyone before. I miss his constant ramblings about things too complicated for my understanding, and the sympathy he shows me when I share just a little too much about my life. It's comforting, and that disturbs me.

Why does that disturb me.

I don't want his comfort to disturb me as much as it does.

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love Watch as you begin to take a backseat To the world around you, don't fight it Become a secondary character in your own motion picture

Spencer is standing outside my front door.

Why is Spencer standing outside my front door?

"Why are you here?" I ask, more snap in my tone than I mean to have.

He doesn't flinch at my hostility, holding something out towards me with a small smile on his face. "I thought you could use the company, so I brought you some food," he replies, as if it's the most casual thing in the world for him to be here. "We don't have to talk, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone."

I'm always alone, though.

The hidden meaning in his words is not lost on me, but I don't say anything about it — I don't want you to do anything to yourself, so I'm here to keep an eye on you whether you like it or not.

I hesitantly take the warm dish into my own hands and step aside so he can come in. My apartment is a mess, enough to color my face with embarrassment, but he says nothing as he sits on my couch and looks around the place. He's never been here before. Nobody's been here before, nobody except myself.

So just... nobody, then?

Spencer is the first person here, ever.

It's clear when he spots the easel in the corner, a half-finished painting on the canvas upon it.

"I didn't know you like to paint," he says softly as I sit on the couch beside him, peeling the foil off the top of the ceramic dish. I'm not quite sure what it is, but it looks homemade, and smells better than any of the takeout I've been eating recently.

He watches me curiously as I stand to grab two plates and two forks from the kitchen.

"I used to like doing a lot of things," I mutter, dropping back down beside him and handing him a plate and a fork. "There's not much I like doing anymore."

Painting, reading, writing — you name it and I've probably enjoyed doing it at some point in my life.

"That's understandable. You've been thorough a lot," he says. A faint smile flits across my mouth before it evaporates again. I place my plate onto the table, appetite next to gone, and let myself curl up onto a ball, pressing my face into my knees as I begin to silently cry.

I have been though a lot, but I barely ever cry about it anymore.

This is the first time I've cried in months, and it's in front of Spencer, the only person I have left now.

I don't want to scare him away.

He doesn't say anything, gently rubbing my shoulder for a short moment before removing it and (presumably) putting some food onto his plate. I want him to touch me again, to comfort me.

"You should eat something," he says, using his thumb to carefully lift my head and handing me a plate. I'm not hungry, but I take it from him anyway and place a small bite into my mouth.

But most importantly Drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach You're drinking bottled love now

It was never my intention to end up in the same situation that my father found himself in most nights, laying limp in an armchair with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in my hand.

As a child I'd promised myself it'd never get to this point — promised myself that I'd never turn to alcohol like he did, scared to hurt the people I love the way he hurt me.

But here I am, and I'm ashamed of myself.

Spencer is standing across the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I don't know why he's even still here. Most people would run for the hills the second they hear how messed up I really am, let alone when they actually have a chance to see it.

He's probably so disappointed in me — isn't everyone? Disappointed in the... miserable creature I'm turning into.

It's not like I can stop, though. The fuzzy feeling in my head is the only thing that can take me away from it all nowadays, the warm tingling in my stomach bringing me more comfort than anybody in my life ever has.

Not for the first time, I wonder if this is what it feels like to be loved.

"It's a bad idea to mix drugs and alcohol," he says. I don't know why he cares so much about what I do. Nobody ever has before.

"It's none of your business," I slur, words barely coherent.

"Mixing antidepressants and hard liqueur increases the risk of overdose and blackouts," he sighs, pushing off the wall and stepping towards me, "so it actually is my business."

'Please help me,' my mouth begs to say. 'Please don't let me end up like him.'

Anger bubbles up inside me instead. "Piss off, Reid."

And for some reasons beyond my comprehension, he doesn't.

Spencer doesn't leave.

And I think I might be kind of in love with him.

You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness You just needed to find a way to talk to it

#spencer reid x bau reader #spencer reid oneshot #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x female reader #spencer reid #content warning #depressed reader #sensitive topics #self harm #enderlovez

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sorryformyleviathanheskindasoggy · 14 days ago

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Sigh...another Viktor fic...

Studying

Viktor × gender neutral? reader (I mostly intend them to be transmasc. There is no specific gendering though.)

Summary: Viktor cheers you up after a breakup with a crappy dude.

Word count 1075

Warnings: none, really

You weren't known very well at the academy and nobody really considered getting to know you, so when you caught the attention of one of the more popular guys there you were astonished. You thought he was being earnest when he “confessed” his “feelings” to you but that was just to butter you up. He lied when he was assuring you that “Nooo, we were laughing about something entirely different, you're just so eye-catching that when you walked in the room I HAD to look at you.” Your naive heart fell for his snake ish charms.

He had you so fooled with a false sense of security that he convinced you to undress for him and pleasure him with barely anything in return half ass pleasuring you until he “got bored” and turned over to go to sleep.

Viktor had a few classes with you and noticed how your innocent eyes looked up to that hooligan who was going to inevitably break your sweet heart. He wanted to warn you or say how bad that guy was but you never listened to him.

On the day where the jerk you dated finally dumped you, it was agonizing. He had you all snotfaced and red because he spilt the fact that he only got with you because his friends thought it would be funny. Of course you became a joke, that's all you ever were.

When Viktor missed you in class, he realized why by the way that jerk and his friends were guffawing and making immature jokes about the whole ordeal. His quiet glares toward them went unnoticed And his blood boiled at their carefree and emotional unintelligence towards people, especially you.

After class Viktor knocked on your door to which he heard sniffling and the mumbling of words. He knocked again and stood there, leaning on his cane as you slowly got up from your disheveled nest of blankets and tissue to answer the door. Viktor was going to get that man after seeing your puffy eyes and red nose.

“Look Viktor…I'm not in the mood to work on the project, I know you like to get things done early but-”

“I'm not here for that. I heard what happened.”

“Oh…” your face was full of despair and expecting judgement or even taunting from him.

“I didn't mean it like that…sorry, I saw you weren't in class today so I thought I'd share my notes and I brought food.” he held up a small lunch box in his unoccupied hand.

“My room's a mess, I don't think you'd want to go inside.”

“I don't mind.”

You allow him to pass through the door of your room and he goes to sit at your desk, trying to make it obvious he really didn't care about the mess. You still try to kick things under your bed to make your room more tidy.

“Come on, I've seen your room worse, sit, sit I made you what you like.” Viktor successfully diverted you from your task of picking up your room with the mention of yummy food. You came and awkwardly sat down and he passed the lunchbox towards you. You tentatively opened it as he started filling you in on today's lesson. Even though your mind could be occupied on Viktor's delectable cooking or what he was saying, you still were caught up on the knowledge that your ex is most definitely talking about you negatively. Viktor takes notice of this and pauses his brief explanation.

He puts a hand on your shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze, he already knows what yout mind is stuck on.

“Would you like to talk about it?” He asks, not in a nosey way, just to give you the opportunity to get it off your chest.

You swipe your wrist across your still sniffly nose and nod meekly. It took you a moment to find your voice, shaky and still feeling like you were going to cry. “He said he liked me and I thought he was genuine with it all but then he broke up with me saying he only got with me because his friends dared him to… I even told him I was a guy and he just disregarded it.” You wipe your eyes with your sleeve before continuing, “I was just happy to be dating someone that I didn't really care at the time but now I really regret it.” You start breaking down again and Viktor catches it, taking your face in his hands, speaking softly to you, “Hey, it's okay…” his thumb brushes away a tear.

His lips come to your forehead, instinctively as it was the only way he could think of to comfort a crying person, his friend. You were put off by it and felt heat rise to your cheeks, it was an awkward feeling to be kissed in an affectionate way after so long. “Sorry!” Viktor apologized profusely, trying to wipe his kiss off your forehead, red as a beet.

“It's fine…” you said, sounding congested because of how much crying you've been doing. He gives you that look, one saying that he needed reassurance it was okay and you weren't mad and you awkwardly kissed his forehead, somehow as a display to say it was okay.

Now you both looked like dummies staring at each other red in the face. You tapped at the wood of your desk as a nervous tick and Viktor placed his hand on top of yours.

You could feel butterflies stumble around in your stomach and if pushed aside the lingering wound your heart had taken. Your eyes searched Viktor’s face, he was thinking, but about what?

Your question was answered when his free hand cradled your chin in his palm, gazing into your eyes, asking “Can I…kiss you..?”

When you gave him a shy nod he brushed his lips against yours hesitantly, to test the waters, before pressing them to yours. Your arms tentatively wrapped around his shoulders in an embrace as you broke the kiss. You felt breathless and certainly not as sad with all these other feelings bubbling up that you had stored away.

You played with his hair at the top of his nape as you gazed at him, lost in his eyes. Cliche, but who could blame you, he was being such an angel to you.

#arcane viktor #viktor season 2 #viktor x reader #viktor league of legends #viktor arcane #viktor season 1 #viktor lol

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kingkatsuki · 2 years ago

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Part two to this.

Bakugou is glad he introduced you to his parents. Not only because they approve of you, Mitsuki regularly makes it clear that he’s extremely lucky someone like you settled for the likes of him— and for once he agrees.

But he likes you with Mitsuki now, because he doesn’t worry about you at work as much.

Guilt racks his body whenever he comes home hours later than planned, the dinner you’ve prepared for him sat waiting in the microwave, the time already set so all he has to do is press the button. All the lights off as you lay in a big, empty bed— another night falling asleep without him. Cancelled dates when missions overlap, and those last minute calls that he has to take when you’re out for coffee or lunch as he gives you that same apologetic look. Bakugou isn’t a fool, he can see the hurt masked behind your eyes when you tell him it’s okay, that he has to go. And he knows you understand, but that doesn’t make it right.

So knowing you’re not quite as alone anymore, a welcome break from Kirishima, Mina, Denki and Sero whenever he has them check up on you during the day.

His only real worry now is how much Mitsuki will talk your ear off about getting married and babies, or bore you about old childhood memories. He hopes his mum won’t spill about him asking for his grandmothers wedding ring, and keeping it safe and secure from you until he finds the right moment. And he certainly hopes you won’t tell her about the times you’ve bought pregnancy tests when you’ve been late, the “scares” secretly not all that scary when the both of you have been thinking about kids for a while now. Waiting for that perfect moment where you have more time for each other between your busy, hectic lives. And maybe it’s time that he listened to his lower back and finally began to start settling down, his sidekicks more than capable of handling the agency when he’s away. Not like the shitty kids that Deku keeps hiring that constantly call him for help when Midoriya is off for the day.

It makes him happy when he gets home and hears you talking about what a nice day you had with his mother and what you did. He loves the sparkle in your eyes when you lean against him on the couch as he takes a sip from his beer and you talk about your day, certain he could listen to you talk about anything for hours on end.

But more than anything, he loves when his mother calls him the next day. Telling him that he better hurry the hell up and ask you to marry him before it’s too late, his father in the background heard telling Mitsuki that he’ll ask when he’s ready as they both break into an argument about how she had to ask him first.

Until she softens, and shares a memory with Bakugou that has him thumbing the engagement ring that sits inside his pocket. When he was a young boy and said he’d never get married or have kids, his only goal, only thought was becoming Number One.

“You better propose soon, brat. I’ve already designed my dress.”

“Fuckin’ hell, it ain’t supposed to be about you, Ma.” Bakugou rolled his eyes, his thoughts immediately gravitating towards how ethereal you’d look walking down the aisle on your wedding day. Making you his forever. His dream.

“Don’t worry, I won’t outshine the bride,” Mitsuki smiles on the other end of the line, “I don’t think anyone could outshine her. You did good, kid.”

Now he’s older, wiser and has experienced the weight of the world on his shoulders he can see the way his priorities have shifted. His scowl softening as he listens to his mum on the other side of the line. The dreams he had as a child have been surpassed since you came into his life, his goals and aspirations changed.

Because now his main priority is you.

#soft Bakugou #bakugou x reader

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kivino · 1 year ago

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CLOSER || SLASHER!SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY X M!READER

my masterlist

ao3 link to this fic

Word counter – ~2.9k

Tags/Warnings – very much dead dove do not eat, dealing with dark topics, stalking, unhealthy obsession, kidnapping.

Summary – You hear various dark rumors from your colleagues and you don’t believe them, until there is one particular ghost looking you right in the eye.

A/n – Fair warning, I am not trying to romanticize all those things. Requested by the anon from this post. Not proofread, so i'm very sorry if there are any mistakes.

At first, you didn’t believe all the rumors about ghosts, ghouls, and serial killers scouring every corner of the town in the dark, scratching the brick walls and howling in the tight alleyways. Your coworkers who usually talked about that kind of stuff appeared like gossiping teenagers exchanging something they heard or saw. Whispering on their breaks over lunch, or in those hours when business in the little coffee shop you worked in was slow.

You thought their talks about some boogeyman hunting on the streets for new victims each night were silly at their best, and just distracting at their worst. You, coincidentally, were also usually the one working night shifts, taking over them after your female coworkers kept complaining about some creep waiting around until the end of the shift and scaring the crap out of them.

So, how could you not help your colleagues out in a dire situation like this? Those shifts paid more anyway, and you needed all the money you could get. And, to be completely honest, you enjoyed the night. The lack of annoying customers, who’d scream at you for getting their order wrong, not smiling or some other stupid bullshit (whatever it takes to get that glossy paper with the words “20% off”, right?) died down by the night, so it was a breeze. Of course, you’d have to clean up and prep so much stuff for the morning shift, but then again, it was better money. So you could do with stacking some cups and taking out the trash and so on. After closing, you’d walk out a bit tired, but still enjoying the fresh night air, that would knock out any insistent worry straight out of your mind.

And oh, what a fool you were for that.

Ghost wanted to laugh, really. It was very amusing to him when you’d bravely head out into the dark, back to your shitty rundown apartment complex, listening to your music in your silly little headphones and not paying enough attention. Not a fucking thought inside this handsome head sometimes. Just perfect. Ghost knew he liked you for a reason. Which, of course, your appearance wasn’t solely why he felt drawn to you like you were a damn magnet.

At first, he didn’t even notice you. Out and about, searching for any potential victims. Which became harder and harder each time he got bored and finished off the last one – their names fading from his memory as soon as the ringing from their strained, ear-splitting screams died down to a complete silence. They were borderline shrieks of wild, trapped animals that rang in his mind endlessly, day and night, echoes waking him from his restless dreams and lulling him back to sleep. Eyes snapped from figure to figure – searching, looking like a hound dog for something, someone that could satiate his hunger for blood.

Followed a potentially interesting target to a small, cozy-looking establishment. Tried to look around more, still not completely set on the decision to commit to them. But then he laid his eyes on you and felt that familiar buzz under his skin, the pleasant vibrations that spurred him on like a prized stallion during a race. His blood felt scorching hot in his own body, anticipation for the desired thrill of the hunt already boiling in his veins. That’s who he needed.

The huge man would follow you home with light, silent footsteps, uncharacteristic for his burly form. He would observe you from the dark corners of the forest, from between trees bunched together in thick, impenetrable layers. Ghost would come in during different times of the day, but wouldn’t ask for you, in fear of drawing too much attention – your coworkers looked like the types to run their mouths for fun, so he figured they would snitch on him to you. And that would just spoil all the fun, wouldn’t it? But then Ghost started feeling something he never thought he would. The more his eyes went over your form, over and over, like fingers picking at a bloody scab, or a tongue grazing gums where the tooth is missing, the more Ghost felt that ache poke needles through his skin, then change and transform into unfamiliar shapes and forms. Prickling on his insides, thorns gashing and bleeding his heart dry, his mind reeling at the mere sight of you in this stupid uniform, or just going about your business, and not knowing what kind of predator was following close behind in the shadows.

He craved more than your blood, your skin, and your smell on his knife, pooling between his fingers and onto the dirty floor of the basement. Etching scarlet lines into your sole being, slicing, cutting, and handling you like he would a piece of precious wood for his woodcarving projects. Ghost’s mind would go rampant with various images of you being with him. Not a victim, but a companion. A worthy one at that. The one Ghost deserves, with your presences intertwining until you two could not be separated from one another, grown together so deeply that you’d find parts of yourselves in each other wherever you’d look.

The only wish Ghost had was to be consumed by you wholly. And to consume you was a natural outcome of that. You’ll come around eventually. One way or another.

The images of his previous trophies resurfaced like thin, melting ice from fresh lake water. Each and every single one of them was an animal. In their life and their death. Scared but swift rabbits. Talkative crows that liked shiny things. Rabid hyenas that bared their teeth at him in a taunting grin. Gorgeous pheasants with their gentle coos. All of them so different, yet same in their dullness and lack of something Ghost was searching for in his prey.

You though, you were special. That’s why Ghost didn’t want to kill you, oh no. He wanted to keep you. All to himself. Lock you up like a wild bird in a golden, intricate cage and hear you sing lullabies and arias for him, and only him. Not for your stupid friends. Not for your idiot classmates. And not for your lazy ass coworkers. Only for him.

So naturally if he wanted this songbird to be his, he had to get to work. Simon was a man of his words and actions, but Ghost preferred to act, rather than talk. First things first – he had to prepare a “cage”. One where you won’t escape from. One that will keep you safe from any harm. But not from him. He’d never harm you, in a million years. Ghost had to rearrange a room in the basement for that. And while it took some time and care, his feelings only grew stronger, when he would move and carry around so much stuff he had piling up in that dusty room. Then he had to know your schedule by heart, to know when and where he’ll be able to finally get his hands on the beloved songbird. It turned out to be pretty easy, Ghost got it down in a week and everything was working out perfectly. Finally, he had to catch you. Which, he was working on right now.

He waited until the perfect moment came to strike, like a hunter he was. One chance, that’s all it is going to take. And you’ll be his. His gut stirred with anticipation and excitement, that familiar buzz intensifying with each second, he waited to finally start his pursuit while hiding in the darkness. If it was anyone else but you the chase would’ve been lethal. For you, he had to contain his strength. Balling his fists together, beaten and bloody under the rough fabric of his gloves, he could easily snap a neck or break some fingers with the sheer power contained inside of his body, trained and adapted into the perfect shape for his…line of work and “hobbies”. For your sake, Ghost will have to use less force, for once in a long time. You’re only worthy while you’re alive.

The whole shift you felt like something was wrong. That sudden gut feeling, along with impending doom and anxiety that ate away at you was overtaking slowly but surely. Every second ticking away on the digital clock near the register only stretched that unusual, weird feeling like something (you weren’t sure what) was going to happen to you. You even felt a bit of cold sweat pop up right on your forehead, and the worst thing is, you couldn’t even point out what exactly threw you off your usual rhythm. So, all you had left to do was try to pretend like there wasn’t a whole hurricane of worry and panic bubbling inside of you.

You felt like you could snap any minute now from how tense you were. Intuition wasn’t your best suit, but you could not ignore a gut feeling so strong that you felt like vomiting up your lunch each time you were left in silence, alone with your thoughts, that spun around a variety of outcomes where you ended up dead on the side of the road because you didn’t listen to that gnawing dread curled inside your gut.

And you should’ve, really.

Maybe then you wouldn’t have been in the position that you’re in right now. Your chest and throat hurt, cold air burning with every shallow and quick inhale, as you ran, as fast as you could, blood pulsing in your ears with increasing pressure. You were pretty sure your heart was about to jump out of your chest. If it wasn’t for your headphones running out of battery and you having to walk back without any music you wouldn’t have heard the quiet, rapidly approaching footsteps. You couldn’t see your pursuer, too focused on the road, or lack thereof in front of you.

Why did you think dipping into the dark grove at the first opportunity to lose the person who was following you was a good idea? Your feet stumbled over the thick roots that webbed the fresh, wet ground, moonlight barely managed to pierce through the thick layer of leaves overhead and it seemed like any animal in your close vicinity disappeared, with how eerily quiet everything was, safe for your heaving and wheezing, that easily gave away your position.

You’re scared, oh, you’re so fucking scared you could feel the way hairs all over your body stand up from the terror, unknown follower sparkling fear so primal your thoughts are reduced to barely a semblance of your usual self.

You could hear the crunch of the leaves under your shoes, vines, and branches smacking you, as you ram through them in your attempt to get away, to save yourself from whatever wild beast was chasing you, whose heavy breath you could almost feel on the nape of your neck. You were pretty sure your face got smacked by another thorny vine, this time delivering a harsh, stinging cut that made you wince. You didn’t slow down, however, adrenaline made you push yourself to surprising lengths, that you didn’t think were possible in a normal, safe environment. The cut felt warm. You were pretty sure it started bleeding.

That is until your foot slips and you feel everything going upside down, crashing onto you, sharp pain digging into your sides, as you tumble down. And from water in your nose, eyes, and airway, you can give a wild guess that you fell into some kind of creek. If it’s true, then your clothes and your backpack are most likely busted. You try to get up, but your hands slide over slick, wet rocks on the bottom of the stream, making you slip back into the water and sending you into a whole coughing fit, bitter water resting on your tongue like a layer of algae. You yank your foot from under some rock, desperately trying to listen to the footsteps that at the moment were as loud as hell’s bells for you, stumbling to your feet, and through the thick darkness, you see that the path ahead will only be uphill. The ground is wet and muddy, but you don’t care, hands and nails digging into it, crawling upwards as fast as you can. You feel yourself grow cold when you hear a quiet slide and feel a hand grab you by your leg.

And then you start kicking, screaming, howling until a bitter burn on your throat makes you cough, spreading the sharp pain with every collapse of your chest. Fingers digging into the fresh mud and leaves, raking through them, earth sticking to the underside of your nails, as you try to grapple onto something, anything, to hold onto and save yourself from the iron hold on your ankle. Your heart is beating so fast you can hear it pumping the blood through every single artery and vein, and you’re sure that animalistic fear is being spread through your body along with it.

“Sing for me, boy. Nobody will hear you.” The man’s voice, devoid of emotions, littered with deep sighs and grunts of exertion rumbled from above you, as he dragged you down from the insignificant height you managed to climb.

“Fuck off! Let go of me!” You scream, your body contorted into a bizarre shape as you turn your head, trying to catch a glimpse of the man and correct the aim of your kicks. Your neck was weeping in pain and strain, along with every other muscle in your body. Fear scorched your insides. This was it for you, truly. Nobody will find your body in this stupid fucking forest and you’re just going to become the food for local fauna. Beautiful.

You expected anything – harsh blows to the back of your head, being drowned inside this shallow creek, stabbed to death, until you paint the water red, getting your head bashed in, or even shot like a rabid, stray dog who had no one to care for it. Instead, you’re getting your hands and legs tied together, and the man throws you over his shoulder, despite your attempts to scratch or punch him. You scream and cry, burning your throat raw, kicking and writing in the hold of the unknown person. Chanting harsh insults, and trying to kick or punch didn’t work either, but you didn’t care. You weren’t about to find out more about the local serial killer. However, no matter your intentions, you could not see where you were going, dark earth being the only thing in front of your eyes. Your thoughts and presence float far away from here, as the man brings you somewhere, jabbing a needle with something that makes you light-headed and sleepy.

When you finally wake up you’re changed from your dirt-stained, wet clothes, with your body aching like no tomorrow and the cut on your face dressed. The room has barely any light in it, and you feel the warm covers enveloping you, reminding you of home until you turn your head and see…something. Someone. His presence is enough to send shivers through your body.

He’s sitting by the bed you’re tucked into. Skull mask. Large, looming figure. Dark eyes gleaming right at you. You feel your face contorting into an angry scowl when you look at him and try to get out of bed. He doesn’t move. You get yanked back, and promptly turn your head again, feeling the muscles in your back and neck ache. Your hand is cuffed to the radiator. You feel a rough lump in your throat rise and drowsiness floating away. It doesn’t quite sink in yet, but you could feel the anxiety forming once again in the pit of your stomach and that lump rising as if you’re about to vomit whatever was left of your insides.

You hear the man get up from his chair with a quiet shuffle and the squeak of the chair legs on the floorboards. You flinch back, your back pressing into the warm metal of the radiator, almost burning the skin through your clothes. The bed dips down under the weight of the man. He’s not taking away his eyes from you, even for a second. It makes you want to crawl under the blanket that is now resting at your feet, just to hide from the piercing, heated gaze that you want to avoid at any cost.

You close your eyes, trying to calm down and think about anything else, but what surrounded you. Which proved impossible the moment you felt a rough, calloused hand shift from its position on the bed and rest on the side of your face. Warm, scorching fingers stroking your cheek gently, like that same hand wasn’t just dragging you through water and muck in the shallow forest creek.

Ghost felt…Good. Despite the bad first impression, he was sure that he was on the right track. Your skin felt divine, your beautiful eyes made him want to keep you here forever and never let go. And the way you looked while sleeping made him want to abandon observing altogether and crawl into the bed with you, caging in a tight, bone-crushing embrace that would show you just how much he craves you. But for you, it would probably be too fast, too shocking. For now, just being able to look at you and touch you was enough.

Maybe, if Ghost had a little more bravery he would whisper:

“You’re mine, songbird. Forever”

But for now, it’ll do. You’ll come around. One way or another.

check out my masterlist for more fics or send me a request/comment!

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officialaemondtargaryen · 1 year ago

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A Fine Line [part 1]

Summary: You've been with Aegon for a little over four years and the relationship just isn't the same. His brother isn't helping the situation, either. This is a Modern Day AU!

Pairing: Aegon x Reader / Aemond x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Author’s Note: Guys, I think it goes without saying that you should never cheat on anyone. Just don’t do it. This is a complete re-write of an old Marvel idea that I had. It is also my very first HOTD fic, so I am open to any feedback that you may have. This man just has a motherfuckin' hold on me, like I don't even know what happened. Nevertheless, I hope that you enjoy this! Please let me know if you would like to be tagged.

Warnings for the entire series: severe angst, cheating, unprotected sex, jealousy, lying, possessiveness, stalking, manipulation, and language.

Masterlist & Playlist

You felt the bed shift.

The sun hadn’t yet made a break in the early morning sky, and the room was still dark; only dimly lit by the bathroom light that had just been turned on. You could hear the faucet running and the faint sound of teeth being brushed as you reached over and checked the time. The intense light of the screen made your vision blur and eyes squint, but after a few blinks, you could make out those three numbers; 5:06 AM.

A shadow moved along the hallway walls, and you quickly placed your phone back on the bedside table and turned on your side. With your eyes clamped shut, you listened as he moved around the room, mentally picturing every action; opening the closet door, pulling a shirt from the hanger, crossing the room to the dresser, finding a pair of socks and boxers in the drawer. It was the same every morning, every day, at the same time.

Aegon wasn’t Aegon without his daily routine; wake up, brush teeth, shower, breakfast, work, lunch, work, home, dinner, bed. You used to enjoy it, the structure that you had both brought to each other's lives. It was a complete change from when you had first met him. He used to be completely haphazard; snoozing through every alarm and perpetually late, but he had come into his own after he had met you.

You used to wake up with him and get an early start on your day; making breakfast together, sitting at the table together, reading your emails while he scrolled through the news. You'd make plans for dinner and talk about your friends, and your jobs, and you'd laugh and joke. And it used to be nice. But now you just pretended to be asleep, waiting until he left before getting out of bed.

You wondered if it was wrong to do that, because, to you, it certainly felt like it was. Aegon brought it up, too, a couple of times; always wanting to know if something was wrong, or if you were okay. Truth be told, you weren't even sure of the reason for the change, so you just told him that you were tired and that work was stressful.

Often, you wondered if maybe you should start again.

Start trying...

Maybe it’d make things better.

Or as your best friend, coworker, and self-proclaimed love guru, Baela, liked to say, there was no getting better. According to the white-haired cynic, the vast majority of relationships are doomed from the start, and that you should take your unhappiness as a sign that things just weren’t meant to work out with Aegon.

Some mornings, you’d look in the mirror- bare feet cold on the tile floor, hands gripping the sides of the porcelain sink- and asked yourself if Bae was right; if all of this was a sign that you just weren’t meant to be. You’d ask yourself if you really loved Aegon, and if it’d be better to break things off than to dig yourself in deeper. You knew that the answer was probably ‘yes’, because if the answer was ‘no’, you wouldn’t even be asking those questions in the first place.

But then you’d remember what it was like to be together when the two of you first started dating, and couldn’t help but hope that one day it’d go back to that. Fooling yourself into believing that this was just something that all couples went through, and allowing yourself to continue on with your boring, auto-pilot type life.

The subway platform was cold and damp as you waited in the crowd of a hundred people. Melting snow from the streets above had water dripping down the walls, and it smelled of musty leather and dirty shoes. Your scarf and jacket weren’t doing much to keep you warm, and you cursed yourself for not grabbing your gloves before you left the house. Although, you probably wouldn’t have kept them on very long because you couldn’t use your phone while wearing them.

It was the first week of January. Christmas and New Years had come and gone and people were making their way back to work after a long weekend. In the office, there was a giant board in the break room for people to write down their resolutions; serving as a reminder to keep people on track for the first few months. Most of them were ‘eat healthy’ and ‘exercise more’, and most people would fall off the wagon before February.

Baela was already at her desk when you got to your tiny, cluttered, shared cubicle. A red coffee cup in one hand and cellphone in the other; her hair was pinned up to perfection and shined underneath the fluorescent lights; swaying softly as she turned around in her desk chair.

“Good morning!” She said with a smile. “Coffee’s on your desk.”

“Thank you,” you replied. “I didn’t have time to stop this morning.” You shrugged out of your jacket and hung it over the back of the chair before grabbing the small, cardboard cup and bringing it to your lips; eyes fluttering shut at the taste and warmth of the beverage. “You’re too good to me, B.”

“I know,” she replied with a kind smile. “How was your weekend? Did you and Aegon do anything exciting?”

“We stayed home, had a couple glasses of champagne and watched the ball drop.” You replied with your back turned to your coworker, fingers dancing over the keyboard as you logged into your computer. “I broke out that pretty, purple lace lingerie set,” Baela made a sound to let you know that she was still listening. “He said that he really liked it, but he didn’t want to do anything because he was too tired, and had to go into work early.”

You could hear her clicking her tongue against her teeth.

“It’s like, we have these really good moments together,” you continued. “And most of the time, things are pretty good, but they just aren’t the same. There’s no passion, or spontaneity, it’s like we don’t have fun anymore.”

“Yeah, but you guys have been together for a few years,” Baela replied, turning slightly in her chair to look at you. “Relationships usually change after awhile, that’s normal.”

“Bae, the last time we really had fun was Tyland’s birthday.”

"Our boss Tyland?" She gulped. You nodded and her eyes widened in disbelief. "But that was last May!"

“That’s exactly my point.”

“Speaking of birthdays,” Baela began, finally changing the subject. “I was planning to celebrate Jace's is on Saturday, and I was thinking we could take him out for a few drinks, let him beat us both at bowling, I might even make a cake.”

“I can do Saturday,” you replied as you marked the date on your desk calendar.

“Great!” Baela exclaimed. “He’ll really like that, I think.”

As if on queue, Jace popped his head over the wall of your cubicle, eyebrows raised. “Hey ladies,” he said smoothly with a slight smile. “How are you both on this Monday morning?”

“Great!" Baela answered first with a wide, sparkling smile.

“I wouldn’t have used that much enthusiasm, but sure, it’s great.” You mumbled in return, not taking your gaze off of your calendar after having noticed that it was almost four years to the day that you met Aegon. Little, red hearts outlined the box that marked the day.

You remembered that day so vividly, as if it was just yesterday; stumbling out of the snow and into an inviting coffeeshop on the corner of 39th & 7th. Your boss had asked you, of all people, to interview the son of the President & CEO of the most well-known oil company in the world regarding the mass job cuts that continued during the COVID-19 pandemic. He was late to the interview by twenty-three minutes and you found it out-of-place that he wasn't wearing a suit. His hair was unkempt and his blazer was not doing a very good job of hiding a toothpaste stain on his button-up. And to make matters worse, he wasn't wearing his mask properly.

"Thank you for waiting, the train ran late." He greeted as he shook the snow from his hair and extended his hand to you. The closer he became, the more apparent it was that he was either high or hungover. "Aegon."

"Y/N," you replied and gestured towards the table. "Your assistant said that you liked one cream and two sugars?"

What was supposed to be a 30-45 minute interview turned into an hour and a half long conversation. Aegon had an answer for every one of your pointed questions, and gave great responses about the future of the company with his father's dwindling health and the succession of his business- which was what everyone really cared about, really. But you found yourself nearly hanging on every word, even if you truly thought most of it was bullshit. There was something you found incredibly attractive about his sarcastic smile and the way that he quipped back at you when you'd try to back him into a corner.

When it came to the article, you didn't hold back- you couldn't; blasting Aegon for his unprofessionalism and the excuses that he made for his father and grandfather regarding the layoffs. After the paper was printed and distributed, you received a bouquet for roses to your desk with a card that read, "Thank you for your honesty and the conversation. Let me take you out on a real coffee date some time? 212-555-8598"

You remember the look on Baela's face as she stood over your shoulder reading the tiny, rectangular card along with you. Her elbow digging into your side as she wagged her eyebrows, teasing you as if you were children. But nevertheless, you did text him, and you did let him take you out on that date, and you had been together ever since.

“Hello?” Jace’s voice pierced through your thoughts. “Earth to Y/N! You coming to the meeting or are you just going to sit at your desk and daydream all day?”

You looked up to see Baela and Jace both standing, waiting for you. There was a mandatory team meeting in five minutes.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” You said quickly, grabbing your coffee and following your coworkers towards the conference room.

“What’s got your head in the clouds?” Bae asked under her breath as you walked side-by-side.

“Just thinking about when Aegon and I first met," you replied.

She just shook her head at you and took her seat at the table, pulling a pen from behind her ear, and waited for the meeting to start. Her face was determined and focused, ready to spill all of her new ideas for this week’s paper, and knowing Baela, she had a million and one.

After the meeting, you both went straight back to work, only letting up off of your keyboard for your lunch hour. Your cubicle mate was strictly relationship advice, and had an entire bin in the mail room dedicated to letters from her fans; who were mostly women in their late 30′s to mid 40′s, wondering what to do about their lazy husband who failed to notice that they got their hair cut.

You had your own column that was rightfully called ‘Popular Now’, where you wrote about everything that was popular that week; including television shows, music, people, movies, and restaurants. Sometimes you got to go to fancy restaurants and club openings, movie premiers, and concerts. Despite your life long dream to be a front-page, investigative crime journalist, you enjoyed your job and the perks it offered.

“You want to go grab a drink?” Baela asked, turning off her computer. She had a stack of fan mail in her hand. “We can read about all the horrible break ups that happened this past week.”

“As fun as that sounds,” you began. “I have to go to the grocery store before I head home. I’m making Linguine tonight. Aegon's favorite.” You said as you shut off your desk lamp and began stuffing some papers into you bag.

“Suit yourself,” she replied with a shrug. “I’ll ask Jace.”

“You two have fun, then!”

The streets were overcrowded with overworked city-dwellers who were desperate to get home. The wind had picked up significantly since that morning, numbing your face as you walked through the crowd of double-breasted, suit wearing men and women who were yakking on their phones about what was for dinner. Your tights did nothing to keep your knees from shaking, and you started to regret your decision to walk instead of call a cab. It would have only taken longer for the latter in the stop-and-go traffic of rush hour.

You tried to call Aegon once you got into the store to make sure that there wasn’t anything else he needed added to the list, but he didn’t answer. He barely ever did. He was almost always on his phone, taking business calls and messages for his father, but could never answer the phone for you. At this point you didn’t even bother leaving a message, knowing that he wouldn’t take the time to return it.

After you had made your way through the aisles with your basket in hand, you walked towards the checkout lanes, only to find two long lines that were moving much, too slow. Your foot tapped impatiently against the floor as you waited. You turned your head slightly, watching as more and more patrons continued to line up with their carts. You noticed the gentleman standing behind you with only one item. He looked oddly familiar, but you shrugged him off as just being another hipster guy with long hair.

"Would you like to go in front of me?" You asked him politely.

The corners of his lips turned into a small smile as he eyed your basket. "I appreciate the gesture," his voice was smooth. "Are you sure you don't mind?" You shook your head and stepped to the side for him to move in front of you. "Thank you."

"Of course," you responded.

The line was still moving painfully slow; coming to a halt as the cashier called for a manager on the overhead speaker over the price of a shampoo bottle. Your eyes perused the magazines on the shelf to your left, glossing over the headlines and laughing to yourself at the more ridiculous ones. As you continued to wait, you couldn't help but steal another glance at the man now standing in front of you. Your eyes must have lingered a little longer than they should've, tracing across his sharp features, because you were brought back to reality when you heard him clear his throat- his steely gaze returning yours.

"I'm sorry," you confessed to him as your cheeks grew warm. "You just look so incredibly familiar and I can't put my finger on it- have we met?"

"You're implying that I'm forgettable," he responded with a smirk. "I don't think we have, I would certainly remember if we had as there is nothing forgettable about you." Your blush only intensified as he held his hand out and took your hand into his. "I'm Aemond."

"Y/N," you replied, fingers curing around his. "Wait, Aemond?" It finally clicked. This was Aegon's brother that you had never met due to the fact that he was always traveling for business. You had only seen his picture on your refrigerator a million times. Only, in the picture he was about twenty years younger, his cheeks were more plump, and he had both eyes. "You're Aegon's brother, there's a picture of the two of you as kids on our fridge."

"You must be his lady, then." He replied and you thought you could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice. You hadn't even realized that he was still holding on to your hand until he dropped it. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," you smiled as he placed his item onto the conveyor belt as the line began to move again. "Aegon says that you are always traveling for work? How long are you in town for?"

“I actually got promoted,” he replied and you placed the plastic divider on the belt, signaling to the cashier where his order stopped and yours began. "I’m home for good now.”

“Oh that’s great!” You exclaimed. “You should come by some time. I’m sure Aegon would love to see you.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he handed his card to the cashier. “I will.” He took his bag from the end of the counter and looked back at you one last time before taking his receipt from the cashier. “I’ll see you around, then.”

You nodded as the cashier asked if you had your discount card.

Aegon wasn’t home when you got there, and you reveled in coming home to an empty apartment. It was so quiet; no loud television or hour long conversations with his financial advisers about the business. Just the sounds of boiling water and the sizzling of shrimp in the frying pan.

It was peaceful.

You stood in front of the refrigerator staring at the small photo of Aegon and his brother held to the stainless steel with a smiley face magnet. Aemond's freckles and messy hair, Aegon's toothy grin and mischievous eyes as they pulled funny faces for the camera. Aegon didn't talk about his brother much, but you knew that he missed him.

“Yeah man! It’ll be great to have you around again.” You heard the front door open shortly after you drained the noodles, signaling that Aegon was home. The door slammed behind him, followed by the thud of his briefcase on the living room floor. “You should definitely come by soon,” he said loudly into his phone. Moments later, he joined you in the kitchen and placed a kiss on the side of your cheek without saying a word and then headed up the stairs to change into something more comfortable. “I can’t wait for you to meet, Y/N. You’re going to love her, brother.”

You smiled to yourself as you pushed the shrimp around in the pan one last time before shutting off the heat. Everything looked and smelled amazing, and you couldn’t wait for Aegon to try it. You had the table completely set up; white wine, the nice plates that were only for when there was company, and the candles were burning.

“Hey babe,” he said as he stepped back into the kitchen. “That was Aemond. He’s back in town for good now, he’s going to come for dinner Friday night.”

“That’s great!” You replied, and Aegon picked a plate off of the table.

“He’s excited to finally meet you.” He was grinning from ear to ear. “I was thinking maybe you could invite Baela?” he followed up as he sat the plate on the counter next to you and moved to grab a bottle of beer from the fridge. “So that you have someone to talk to if we get caught up in catching up."

“Y-yeah,” you replied with your back to him, wondering why Aemond didn’t mention your run-in at the grocery store. “That sounds like a great idea.” You placed the pot on the kitchen table with an oven mitt underneath and took to your usual seat.

Aegon, still standing, hurriedly fixed himself a plate and popped a shrimp in his mouth. “Mm, this is delicious. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to eat in the office. I have a lot of work to catch up on.” He told you quickly and dashed up the stairs.

Before you could say anything, he was already gone.

You took a sip from your wine glass and sighed, staring at the dinner you had prepared. Despite how hungry you might have been before you cooked dinner, your appetite seemed to have completely vanished. You didn’t even bother to fix yourself a plate, just finished your wine instead before standing up and putting the leftovers away.

370 notes · View notes

yenqa · 2 years ago

Text

APPLE CIDER!

thank u @soov for helping me pick the banner!

sypnosis : you haven’t experienced much love in your life. well reciprocated romantic love, your first “boyfriend”, was only with you because a bet. until you unexpectedly meet jay, a frat boy whose known for breaking hearts. you’d be a fool to give him a chance right? too bad you both like apple cider.

when a heartbroken girl meets a heart breaker and they bond over apple cider.

featuring : enhypen, chaewon of lsfm, eunbi, one member of txt (EL OH EL THERES LIKE NO ONE)

warnings : literally the most cliche story ever, swearing, underage drinking, food, parties, crying, kissing (not in detail), being drunk (not reader), crying, angsty, reader hates parties, mentions of hooking up/sex, mentions of weed, reader has bad habits, blood, i think thats it?

wc : 7.9k (only 900 words over the expected amount!!)

pairing : jay x fem!reader (uses she/her)

a/n : hey guys… this fic is the most cliche shit ever and idk how it happened,,, u would think this would be like original but its not 😂 🤣. heres the playlist i listened to while making it! and everyone thank @wonieleles and @redm4ri for proof reading it !! anyways,,, enjoy!

READ PART TWO HERE!

cut glitch pls spare me

001 THE INVITATION

“c’mon y/n! i know you’re not over hyun-woo but please! one party! it’s been like a month since you broke up, and yeonjun personally invited me to this party!”

“way to put it lightly chaewon,” you’re tempted to leave and sit somewhere else. can’t she just understand you don’t want to go?

“please! i’ll get you um- coffee for a week!”

you scoff at her suggestion, but after thinking about it, it does seem like a pretty good offer. i mean, it will be just one party right?

“when’s the party ?” you ask, almost persuaded.

“it’s this friday, i can pick you up, and we can get there at nine. the party starts at like eight, but everyone goes at nine.” she pauses for a moment before continuing.

“if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave right away! plus, your beloved chaewon would be right next to you the whole time! isn’t that tempting?” she elbows you softly, and you give her a disgusted look before changing back to your normal one.

“fine. but! you have to let me borrow a dress because i don’t really have any party dresses.”

“you have that one green one! that’s like a v-neck!” chaewon shapes the dress out with her hands, trying to prove her point.

“it’s too big,” you point out, taking a bite out of your forgotten lunch.

“okay fine… i’ll pick you up at seven, and we can get ready and stuff at my house! i’m not lending you any makeup though.” she picks back up her fork, stuffing her mouth with food.

“fine with me.” you shrug, taking a sip of water.

chaewon’s voice suddenly goes quiet, “y/n, you know those really popular guys? well one of them is looking at you!” she whisper-shouts, trying her best to hide her expression.

“so? you’re popular too, maybe he’s staring at you.” you brush it off, why would it even matter anyways?

“no y/n- that’s jay park. he’s like- he has some major beef with hyun-woo.”

“and what does that have to do with me?”

“jay is a heartbreaker, maybe you’re his next subject to get hyun-woo mad or some shit because i know sunghoon told him about you two.”

“so? hyun-woo didn’t even like me, nothing bad will happen,” you reassure her, patting her shoulder. okay, but who the hell is sunghoon? you wonder.

“whatever you say. but stay away from him okay?” she looks at you seriously.

“okay but what does he even look like-?” you whip your head around to see a group of guys laughing. one shamelessly staring at you. he smirks at you, a wink coming soon after. you look at him in disgust, turning around.

“why did you look y/n!” chaewon whisper-shouts again.

“what? i was curious. how am i supposed to stay away from him if i don’t know who he is?” you put your hands up in defense.

“okay fine…” she groans.

“you’re still going to the party right?”

“yeah sure, whatever.”

002 FIRST MEETING

you enter your last period of the day, which also happens to be your least favorite, math. you never really understood why it was necessary in the real world, when would you need to figure out what the integral of a function is? but it’s not like you want to retake math in your senior year. so you get your notebook, and mechanical pencil out, clicking the end a few times before writing the date at the top of the page.

as you’re writing the date down, you can hear the repeated taps on your shoulder from the person behind you, so you turn around to face eunbi.

“hey, are you going to yeonjun’s party?” eunbi asked curiously.

you don’t know why she asked considering you two weren’t the closest of friends, and honestly, you thought she trusted people too easily, which included you. but it wouldn’t hurt to answer right?

“yeah i’m going with chaewon, are you?”

“yeah, me and hyun-woo will be there,” she says almost teasingly. eunbi gives you a genuine smile like she had no clue that you and hyun-woo ever dated. but in reality, she didn’t.

you and hyun-woo kept it on the low, so no one really knew about you two unless they saw you on dates. maybe he did that so he could cheat on you at parties you didn’t go to without anyone knowing. but you tried not to think about him anymore. it’s not like he’s going to beg on his knees for you to take him back.

“oh, well i think class is starting soon, but i’ll make sure to say hi at the party.” you notice how your voice almost deflates after she mentioned him. and eunbi almost notices it too. until her train of thought is broken when your math teacher, mrs. lim, walks in.

one thing you had forgotten was that jay was in your math class. he seems to be having the time of his life on his phone, and sometimes during that period, it’s obvious that mrs. lim catches him, clearly typing away under his desk, but she never seems to point it out.

you never seemed to be mrs. lim favorite. but you definitely weren’t her least favorite. you participated sometimes, usually getting the answers right, and you never really talked or interrupted anything in that class. it was obvious to you at least, that jay was mrs. lim’s favorite. he never got detention for being late, didn’t even have his laptop charged a majority of the time, and he never seemed to look at the board. any of this would’ve easily gotten you detention with an email to your parents, but unless mrs. lim had been doing this on the down low (which she never does), then it’s obvious she favors him over the rest.

mrs. lim had this annoying thing where she would write three questions on the board, and would draw sticks with each person's name on it to see who would answer the question. and to your luck, you were the second person to be called.

you step up to the whiteboard, trying to solve the equation as efficiently as possible so you could quickly sit back down. she calls out the next person's name to which you didn’t really care, it’s not like it would change anything. well until you saw a familiar sharp jawline, standing right next to you. whatever side fate was on, it wasn’t on yours because just as you had suspected, he had no idea what to write.

“y/n right?” he whispers closely to your ear, making you scoot away, “can you help me solve this?”

“no i can’t” you smile sarcastically, “maybe if you’d pay attention you would know.” you finish writing the answer as you place the cap back onto the marker, walking back to your seat. he smirks at your interaction, writing his solution on the whiteboard. okay, so he did know how to solve the equation? he just asked me for fun i guess. you internally groan, realizing that chaewon was right, you truly were jay’s new target.

003 THE PARTY

friday rolled around more quickly than you would like. you told your parents previously that you were going to sleep over at chaewon’s house, and luckily they allowed it. so, you grabbed your makeup bag and everything you needed to stay the night, (including some medicine in case chaewon got a hangover). you wave goodbye to your parents when you see chaewon’s car parked outside your house. as you head to her house, you start to regret even agreeing to her deal. was a week’s worth of coffee really worth going to some stupid fuck-boys party? it was already too late when you started to put on your makeup, deciding to have some slightly brighter eyeshadow than your usual going-out look.

“no one will notice my eyeshadow, right? i feel like it’s kind of bright.” you turn to face chaewon, who’s picking an outfit out for the both of you.

she scans your eyes, stopping with an outfit in her hands.

“put more on your left eye, to balance it out.” she replies, laying out the clothes on her bed.

you touch up your eye, adding your eyeliner and some lip tint to your lips as you turn to see all the outfit options.

“ta-daa~ do you like these?” she gives you jazz hands, picking the clothes up and imagining they’re on you. in the end, you both chose the outfit with the skirt rather than the dresses. chaewon picked out her outfit, and you both left the house. luckily, chaewon’s parents were taking a vacation somewhere for a week. you two sang your hearts out, laughing at whatever joke you guys made, or every time one of your voices would crack or sing completely wrong. you thought you enjoyed the ride more than whatever the party had to offer, (which wasn’t much).

you could hear the music booming once you entered the small neighborhood. it played softly as you entered, soon becoming much louder as chaewon parked her car. when you finally exited the car and entered the house, you felt like you could go blind from the rainbow lights moving around as you and chaewon tried to navigate your way through the dancing crowd and to the kitchen where all the drinks are. you enter the kitchen, which happens to be much less crowded than the living room.

“it’s so loud in here, why would you bring me here?” you joke, projecting your voice as she shrugs.

“whatever! but i’m going to go find yeonjun, bye! don’t take drinks from anyone!” she yells much louder than you did, walking away and trying to spot her familiar ‘friend’.

you groan, she said she wasn’t going to leave me here. you decide to get a drink, looking at each bottle to find your favorite one. soon, you turn one to see the words “sparkling apple cider”; you smile, grabbing the drink and pouring it into your own.

“not a drinker?”

you turn to see the infamous jay park next to you again.

“not really no, someone has to drive home, and i just really like apple cider,” you take a small sip of the carbonated drink, feeling the fizzy feeling in your throat. jay pours himself some apple cider, looking up while drinking it.

“yeah, i enjoy sparkling apple cider a lot too, i don’t really like the taste of any alcoholic drinks too much, i only really take shots, unlike my friends.” he chuckles at his sentence, sneakily placing his hand on your waist, looking slightly down at you. you slightly flinch at the contact, taking another sip of the cider to cover your reddening cheeks.

you hum, acknowledging his sentence, he continues. “you look nice in that skirt, you should wear it more often.” he flashes you a wink, to which you roll your eyes.

“maybe i’ll wear them less then,” you answer, escaping from his grasp; you grab the bottle of apple cider again and pouring more for yourself. he smirks at the scene, leaving you confused.

“what’s so funny about me pouring apple cider?” you defend yourself, giving him a confused look.

“nothing, you just pour it weirdly, honey.” he flashes you a smile, pushing back his hair.

“don’t call me that, and i’m just pouring it? what’s the difference?” you ask, bewildered by what he said.

“i’ll show you, can you pour it for me?” he hands you his cup, gesturing you to give him some.

“is this a trick for me to pour your drink for you?”

“just do it apple,” he chuckles at your accusation. you place the cup down and pick up the bottle with both hands.

“apple? why that nickname?” you ask, pouring some cider into his plastic cup.

“isn’t it obvious? you love apple cider so much so why can’t it?”

jay notices how you didn’t exactly deny his request for a nickname. apple it is, he thinks as you roll your eyes and place the bottle down, turning to face him. “what is so wrong with how i pour the drink?”

“here let me show you.” he grabs your hand, guiding it with his hands on your own, tilting both items towards each other. letting the bottle spill out into the cup.

“that way, there are fewer bubbles on the top babe,” he continues, taking yet another gulp of his apple cider.

“i-i’ll make sure to wash my hands after this.” you try to make a rude remark back at him without sounding flustered.

he feels giggly at your flustered state. wait, what is wrong with him? he softly lifts your chin to face him, a teasing smile evident on his face.

“why so flustered apple?”

he stares at you, waiting for your answer.

“what?”

“i said,” he maintains eye contact with you, “why-”

“y/n!” you quickly push jay away from you, turning your head to see eunbi, waving at you. you wave back, smiling at her. next to her, was hyun-woo, you noticed he had been trying to keep eye contact with you, which you avoided.

“i love your skirt y/n! where’d you get it?” she checks you out, grabbing whatever clean cup was near to pour herself a drink. you give a knowing look to jay smiling at her.

“i actually have no idea,” you chuckle, “i’m wearing chaewon’s clothes because i had nothing to wear, but i can ask her for you! she might be a little busy with yeonjun though.”

she pats your shoulder, “it’s okay hun! i’ll ask her later, but it was nice talking to you! come on hyun-woo let’s go back to the dance floor.” she grabs his arm walking away. you let out a sigh of relief, forgetting jay was there.

“i told you that skirt looked good on you.” he confidently adds, putting your hair behind your ear.

“it’s different when it comes from the school's heartbreaker, you should know that with your reputation and all.” instead of being offended, he looks at you in a flirty manner.

“and what do you know about my reputation?”

“i know you’re probably toying with me right now like you’ve done with countless of girls, yet somehow you have a bunch of fangirls waiting in line for their chance,” you pick at your skin, watching as the skin turns a dark shade of red.

he’s almost stunned at your reply, sure he did have a pretty bad reputation with girls, but since when was he that easy to read?

you acknowledge his silence, nodding in acceptance. walking away from the conversation before it could get any worse. he's tempted to follow you before he sees you walking up to chaewon, begging to go home. however, yeonjun and chaewon insist that you two would stay, as the party hasn’t even started yet. you were stubborn as always, walking outside, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, and waiting for chaewon to leave. jay almost thanks yeonjun, for making you stay longer. this way, it would be easier for hyun-woo to spot you two together again. making jay’s job even easier.

he starts thinking of what to say, to maybe change your view of him. so he stands in the doorway, he notices how you shiver in the cold, but you ignore it, putting all your focus on stopping your finger from bleeding more.

jay gracefully takes off his jacket, walks over to you, and places it on your shoulders, you pause the round you were playing, looking at him in annoyance. you take off his jacket, placing it back in his hands.

“i don’t need your jacket, i’m fine.”

jay continues your previous conversation, handing back his jacket and firmly placing his arm around your shoulder, so you wouldn’t take it off.

“what could i do to prove i’m not trying to break your heart?” jay asks, trying his best to look saddened at what you had said earlier.

this time you’re the one left stunned, however, you quickly pick yourself back up, “by leaving me alone,” you answer, continuing the game you had just paused.

he chuckles at your response, leaning towards you, “you know i can’t do that apple.” he flirtatiously replies. you for the nth time that day, roll your eyes at him. you scoot away from him, coming up with a bright idea.

“then can you take me to chaewon’s house then? i am so sick of this party.” jay smirks at your reply.

“are you sure i’m the one who wants to hook up with you so bad?” he gets up, grabbing his key, “but yeah, i’ll drive you to her house.”

you smile at him, texting chaewon that somebody offered to take you home and that she’d have fun. Then jay leads you to his car, making some small talk on the way. he opens your door for you, letting you in. “wow, what a gentleman.” you sarcastically say, stepping into the car. he just smiles.

“just trying to prove that i’m not trying to break your heart.”

in his car, he luckily had a bandage, which you gladly accepted.

while he was driving, jay almost felt bad he was playing you. i mean you had just broken up with hyun-woo weeks ago, or was it months ago? whatever, it’s not like i care. he thought as he stopped at the red light. he looked over at you, smiling while watching whatever was outside the window. he turned back to the road, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he listened to your directions.

“oh! take a left at the next light.”

he nods, and the lights turn green. his car blends in with the crowd by keeping up with the pace. jay places his right hand on your thigh. he notices how your legs tense at the feeling, slowly relaxing.

jay usually never made the first moves, usually, the girl made the first moves and he played along with it. he didn’t seem to realize why he was so consistent with you. usually, if the girl left, or played hard to get, he gave up on her. for the reason that he could always find another girl. this is to get back at hyun-woo. he thought. but did hyun-woo really deserve this? jay definitely thought he did.

he remembered how distraught he was when hyun-woo was chosen by the coach to be captain of the rugby team. not that he was a bad player or he was a sore loser, but jay thought that hyun-woo was such a stuck-up, which was probably why he was chosen to be captain. the whole team truly believed jay would get the role. he always knew how to pull the team together and get them to play their best. hyun-woo however, always seemed to bring the mood down. after hyun-woo started to continuously mock jay for not getting captain, he knew that his time with that team was over. so he left. even now, a majority of the team still talks to jay, the few who he was close to, told him that hyun-woo was always talking shit about him.

he didn’t care at first. it’s not like it’ll do anything to my reputation. he assured himself, continuing to ignore every time he was told hyun-woo said that stuff. but when sunoo told him hyun-woo felt guilty for breaking your heart and how he only dated you because of a bet. jay knew he had to take the opportunity and seize the girl. he didn’t think this would backfire on him feeling guilt. but here he was, driving you home from a party he desperately wanted to stay at.

you remember suddenly why you were so warm inside and outside the car, you quickly take his jacket off placing it in the middle of your seat.

“you can return it to me on monday, just in case you get cold over the weekend” he sends you a flirty smile, quickly turning back to the road.

“are you sure? i mean it looks pretty expensive, and it seems special since it had your initials on it.” you flip the jacket around, showcasing to him the large letters spelling P.J.

“yeah, i’m sure.”

“and if you’re fangirls see me with your jacket, they’ll go crazy and think we’re dating! i don’t want that, so please take it.” you almost beg, holding the jacket near his shoulder.

“why would they think we’re dating?”

“oh, i don’t know. maybe it’s because your initials are on the back of it? and you’re in the rugby team and it says decelis rugby team under it?” you sarcastically answer.

“well i’m not on the team anymore, but also it could stand for peanut butter and jelly for all they know. so who cares?” he chuckles at his own joke, as you look at him in disgust.

you wonder if hyun-woo would care, hopefully, he did. hyun-woo had always been a jealous man. well, he might’ve been faking it for all you know, he was faking it the whole relationship, why would that be different? you quickly pull yourself together, responding to jay’s joke. “very funny. take a right at the light then turn left on the first turn.” you almost forget your job, quickly directing him the right way and placing the jacket on your lap.

he nods, moving through the road until you spot chaewon’s familiar brown house. you point at it, “that’s hers,” you say, as he pulls into the driveway.

you exit the car and wave goodbye as he drives away. you look at your hand and realize, shit, you’re holding his jacket. you must’ve picked it up when getting out of the car. damn it! now you have to deal with jay, one more time.

004 TEARS

when you had gotten onto chaewon’s bed after washing up, you couldn’t but feel saddened by the deja vu you were experiencing.

every second you were talking to him, you were reminded of hyun-woo.

his flirty words, his smirk, his infamous charming smile, his party boy persona. all lead you back to hyun-woo.

all jay did was remind you of hyun-woo.

you don’t even know when you had fallen so deeply for hyun-woo. maybe it was because he noticed things nobody else did. maybe it was because of his stupid smile. his stupid smile that made you fall in love.

when you got to the party you two were meeting at and he drunkenly admitted to the bet he had made, you knew you should’ve listened to what everyone had said, to what chaewon said. chaewon was always right. and you should’ve known that.

so with tears slowly trickling down your face, you opened his contact. looking through old text messages since you didn’t dare to text him. you ignored the ones where you were arguing since they weren’t the most comforting. but the more you read, the more blurry your eyes got.

deciding it was time for you to go to sleep, you roll over plugging in your phone charger and staring at the ceiling of chaewon’s room.

005 CONFRONTATION

the monday of, you believed the math gods were testing you every day. who decided to make you take calculus and then put jay park in my class? if you could ask your homeroom teacher to change your schedule, you would do it in a heartbeat, if he wasn’t creepy. but that's beside the point, whatever curse was placed on you, it was working.

you sit down in your usual seat. doing your usual routine as eunbi sits behind you. you turn around, feeling bad she always started the conversations.

“hi eunbi! did you have fun at the party?” you ask, knowing she probably loved it much more than you.

“yeah i did!” she leans towards you, quieting down “you know the guy i was with? hyun-woo?” you nod, praying that they didn’t do much together. “i made out with him.” she giggles at her sentence, as your face falls, quickly changing it to a smile, “congrats girl!” you clap a little bit for her, “i thought you were already dating, to be honest.” you didn’t think that, but it wouldn’t hurt to be nice sometimes.

“i wish, i have such a huge crush on him. what about you? do you have a crush on anyone? i won’t tell anyone i promise!” she pulls out her pinky, you don’t bring yours, as you don’t have a secret to tell. you glance at jay walking in, and eunbi’s eyes follow yours.

“you have a crush on jay park?” she whispers shouts, looking at you in disbelief.

“no!” you quickly exclaim, earning the stares of classmates around you, you apologize, quickly immersing yourself back into the conversation.

“i literally don’t even like him-”

“who don’t you like apple?” of course, jay joins your conversations, moving the seat next to you to sit down. you glare at him, “why are you even here? go sit at your seat.” you signal him to move away, to which he doesn’t listen. “well you have my jacket don’t you, princess?” eunbi watches the scene in shock as you pull out his jacket from your bag, handing it to him. “don’t call me that, i barely even know you,” you add, zipping up your bag.

“it won’t be like that for long, i'm sure,” he replies, moving the chair back as he sits in his assigned seat. eunbi, still in shock from the scene, hits you on the shoulder.

“what was that y/n?” she covers her mouth with her hand, laying her other hand on your shoulder. you hear the bell ring, meaning your conversation is over, “i’ll tell you later,” you whisper to her, turning to face the front.

when you told eunbi you would be telling her later, you didn’t mean her and chaewon. chaewon was waiting for you outside your class like always, when eunbi asked what happened between you and jay as you passed by the doorway she knew she had to join in.

“wait so jay did what?” chaewon asks, almost disappointed.

“while you were busy dancing your ass off with yeonjun, i was talking to jay in the kitchen and he kept flirting with me so i told him i knew he was playing with me and left. then i went to you and ya know, asked to go home. you declined so i went outside and sat on the sidewalk. he followed me outside and was like what can i do to prove i’m not playing you,” eunbi snickers at your imitation of him, as chaewon nods, letting you keep talking.

“and i guess he noticed i was cold so he gave me his jacket. anyways, i was like leave me alone and he was like no! so i was like okay can you drive me to your house?” you point to chaewon, so they know whose house it was. “and he did, and i tried to return the jacket and he was like no keep it and i was like no! but i accidentally brought it out of the car so i returned it to him today.” you finally finish, taking a deep breath.

“also chaewon you forgot my coffee today.”

“y/n, i told you to stay away from him! not ask him to drive you home!” chaewon disappointedly mentions, as you roll your eyes.

“that wouldn't've happened if you drove me home!” you counter, as eunbi watches the scene unfold.

“hey why don’t you give jay a chance? he might’ve changed his ways.” eunbi suggests, shrugging at your little argument.

“eunbi, we’re talking about jay park here. he wouldn't randomly just change his ways because of one girl.” you mention, reminding yourself of hyun-woo.

“you never know! maybe he will!” eunbi argues.

“yeah right, eunbi” you almost scoff.

006 ONE CHANCE

when you finally lie down after getting home, you feel a little vibration coming from your phone. you look at the notification, thinking it was a text from chaewon or eunbi, you open it.

unknown

hi apple, this is jay. are you free this saturday?

read 3:24pm

you

how’d you get my number?

jay

i have my ways 😉

are you free?

you

i am,,, i think, why?

jay

because i want to take you out

you

jay

we can go to the drive in, watch the movie yk

you

what movie?

jay

spirited away

you

jay

cmon it’s just one date

you

whatever

jay

i’ll pick you up at 7 apple ;)

read 3:32

the fact you knew you were going on that date almost infuriated you. it’s like you were begging for another hyun-woo situation. you didn’t want to say this was different, but something about it was. you had heard that jay doesn’t make first moves, so why was he so keen on you? what was so different about you that he wanted?

you couldn’t think of anything, nothing really made you special from anyone else, and you were fine with that.

but maybe, you could give jay a chance, just one.

007 THE DATE

the week felt much quicker knowing your date was on saturday, not like that was a good thing. you weren’t sure how you felt about the ‘giving jay a chance’ thing, but if this date goes well, hopefully, you wouldn’t be as opposed to it as you are now.

you looked in the mirror, deciding on your outfit. which took a lot longer than necessary. after about ten minutes, you chose your outfit, sprayed on some perfume, and packed things in your purse. the familiar sound of your phone vibrating filled the room, as you checked your messages, seeing that jay was outside your house. you rushed to the front door, carefully putting on your shoes and locking the door. in your driveway, you spot jay inside his familiar black car. you stepped inside, placing your bag on your lap.

“hi apple,” he smiles at you, backing out of the driveway, “you look nice,” he says, looking through the back window.

“thank you.” you return his smile, picking at the skin on your fingernails. he quickly notices, grabbing your hands and encasing it in his.

your face turns warm, as jay keeps his eyes on the road. “stop picking at your hands, i don’t have enough bandages for you.”

you side-eye him, turning to the window, watching each tree and car as they pass by. “have you watched spirited away before?” you ask, keeping your head facing the window,

he brushes your hand with his thumb, “i have when i was younger, i haven’t watched it for a while though.” he replies, turning the steering wheel to the left.

“i’m so excited to watch it!” you squeal, letting your excitement out. he chuckles, slightly turning down the music he played.

he turns into an open field, with a huge screen at the end of it, he continues to drive forward to find a spot and parks as carefully as he can, to help others park near him too.

he glances at you, then your lips only for a second, and looks back to your eyes. he leans forward as you stay frozen. was he trying to kiss you? right now? you want to move but you can’t. almost like your waist is frozen as you look at him with wide eyes.

he quickly grabs a bag behind your seat, looking in the bag with his infamous smirk. you try to ignore that trick, looking in the bag which is filled with snacks. you look up at him, asking for permission to take one, he nods, a smirk turning into a smile as you look through the (many) options he brought. noticing he brought your favorite, you take it, open it, and pop one into your mouth.

“thank you,” you say, taking another one.

he opens his bag, looking at you “you’re welcome, the cashier thought i was buying snacks for a party.”

“well, you didn’t have to buy so many snacks! you would’ve saved money if you had just asked me what i wanted,” you argue, looking at the filled grocery bag.

“well, spending money isn’t a problem when it’s for you.”

“yeah okay,” you turn your head to the window, whatever car had driven in suddenly seeming more interesting than the conversation you guys were having.

he almost giggles at your fake obliviousness, a toothy smile spreading on his face as he glances at the screen, looking for the countdown.

“the movie starts in under a minute, hope you aren’t looking to your side the whole time.”

“why would i be looking at you?” you scoff, shuffling around to comfortably sit as a yawn comes out of you.

“that’s not what i meant,” he teasingly adds, placing his arm back onto your thigh, leaning towards you.

“okay then what did you-” you quickly get interrupted when the countdown on the screen ends, starting the movie (idk how drive in theaters work). “nevermind,” you give in, leaning your arm on the side of the car as you prop your hand up to keep your head up. around halfway into the movie, your drowsiness slowly takes hold of you putting you to sleep.

008 DROWSINESS

you didn’t think you were that tired once you got there to the drive-in, but something about jay must’ve put you to sleep like a baby because why had you woken up in front of your house, on jay’s shoulder?

“when did we get here?” you mumble, sitting up and stretching your arms.

his eyes soften at your slightly messed up hair, barely being able to keep yourself awake.

“i just parked, you missed the whole movie,” he replies, turning towards you.

“what!” you exclaim, “but i was so excited to watch spirited away!” you complain, a pout forming on your face.

“so excited to watch the movie you fell asleep yeah?”

“shut up, i was tired!” you argue, grabbing your purse and opening the door to leave, “thank you for taking me, i had fun.” you blurt out, a red tint appearing on your face.

“i did too,” he smiles warmly at you, waving goodbye as you close the door and enter your house.

009 JAY’S DILEMMA

jay wasn’t usually one to fall in love he wasn’t one at all. every girlfriend he had, every situationship he had. never even came close to what falling in love was. jay wasn’t one to worry too much about a lot of things. but one thing he did care a lot about was his reputation. if he wasn’t able to make you fall in love with him. then he would be claimed as a homewrecker even if he didn’t even like you. but that’s not the point jay was trying to make.

the point was he could never get you out of his head. whether it would be a math question he was having trouble solving or even some of sunghoon’s arrogant comments, everything reminded him of you. jay never had this problem before. he never really cared about his old relationships, until you came in. messing up jay’s whole heartbreaker persona, with only him knowing.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you on the drive home after dropping you off.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he was laying in bed thinking at ungodly hours.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when you waved at him the monday after your date, which he waved back.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he walked into your shared math class, watching you excitedly talk to eunbi about whatever.

he had embarrassed himself during the period because he was too busy with the thought of dating you, would he like that? would he like you to kiss him on the cheek or maybe on the lips? jay thought his answer was no.

but deep down, he knew it was yes.

but he would never admit that at least not to you.

010 LOVE

by now, jay had taken you on several dates throughout december to january. whether it would be studying, ice cream dates, or even museum dates. whatever date idea there was, he probably had done it. but one date he was saving for the big question, was a walk. late at night, with the moon shining brightly above the both of you, and only you two.

you two had already decided to meet at the closest park to your house. which he said was fine since it was the closest to his. he parked his car in a hidden spot, and walked to the swings, sitting down and rocking his legs slightly.

when he saw you excitedly walking towards him, he smiled.

this time, jay knew what he felt for you.

he didn’t have a simple crush or attraction towards you.

love is what he felt towards you.

love.

this wasn’t supposed to happen, but deep down, he knew all along.

love is what he felt when you walked side by side, talking about whatever came to mind.

love is what he felt when you stopped to take a picture of the moon, as he stopped to secretly take a photo of you.

love is what he felt when he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you had said yes.

love is what he felt when you cuddled into his arm when you were cold.

love is what he felt when you stopped to tie his shoe.

jay’s night was filled with love. and so was yours.

jay hoped it would be like that forever.

011 BUS STATION

it had been two months since he asked you out. and since then he was always asking you to go to parties with him. this time, he asked for you to go to jungwon’s birthday party the following saturday (which was tomorrow).

you hesitate as always, declining to go, opting for a cuddle session in your room.

“apple, please! just for one of my closest friends!” he sulks, as he walks you to the bus stop you share.

he knows you can’t say no to him. which he always uses to his benefit.

“they’ll be some sparkling apple cider there, i know you don’t get to drink that a lot.” he confidently raises his eyebrows, trying to get something out of you.

you look back at him, putting on your pretend thinking face, “hmmm, maybe, i’ll think about it.”

he gives you a quick peck on the lips, to which your hands suddenly become jittery. “fine.” you mumble, looking away. he giggles, wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close as you continue to walk towards the bus station.

when you finally got there you quickly ran to the convenience store right next to the stop with jay. buying snacks as quickly as you could before running back out, not wanting to miss the bus.

that was a routine you two always had, and never had you missing the bus. you two proudly ate your snacks as the bus started to move. another routine you two had was jay giving you one of his airpods, to which you accepted listening to the cheesy love songs he enjoyed.

when you had gotten to your stop you two had both gotten up, hands intertwined as you exited the bus, turning the way to your neighborhood. you had stopped in place when you noticed apple cider by beabadoobee was playing.

“this doesn’t sound like the kind of songs you listen to. how do you know about beabadoobee?” you ask curiously.

“i don’t,” he answers honestly, before continuing, “i was looking at your playlist and i saw this song. and since it was called apple cider i decided to play it since you know, apple cider is kind of your thing.”

your smile grows, as you look at him with soft eyes, “then i decided to look at the lyrics, and it reminded me of us.”

if you weren’t blushing before, you were a flaming tomato now, butterflies erupted in your stomach as you try to keep your cool and keep walking, to which he noticed (but he didn’t say anything.)

when you had finally made it yourself you had given him a quick kiss goodbye, as he drove off to his house.

later you decided to facetime him to pick an outfit for you. which he did and stayed on call until hours on end. the call ended when you fell asleep, and jay hung up, letting himself get some sleep too.

012 APPLE CIDER

when you two arrived at the party it seemed much more sweaty than you had expected, the smell of weed and alcohol filled the air as you navigated your way to wish the birthday boy a happy birthday,

jay had finally spotted him in the living room, squeezing your hand and walking towards him.

“happy birthday jungwon!” you exclaim, projecting your voice over the speakers.

jay gives jungwon a side hug wishing him a happy birthday too.

“thank you for coming!” he points to a hallway, “drinks are over there, and jay, do you wanna play beer pong? losers have to take a shot after each round.” he grins at him, as jay looks at you for approval. you nod, as he smiles back at you. jay turns back to jungwon with a smile on his face.

“yeah for sure! uh let me get a drink first with y/n,” he tells jungwon, jungwon nods sending you two off to the kitchen.

when you walk into the kitchen you both grab a cup, you fill yours with sparkling apple cider as always, filling jay’s cup too.

“guess you listened to my pouring advice didn’t you?” he asks as you hand him his drink.

“i listen to all your advice.”

“but that was before we started dating,” he adds, you roll your eyes, handing him his drink and heading back to the living room to watch them play.

the teams were revealed as jay and jungwon teamed up versus heeseung and sunoo, you weren’t paying attention to any other games.

heeseung and sunoo had lost miserably, taking 5/5 shots. which was definitely too much alcohol for sunoo’s system.

sunoo seemed to be blabbering nonsense, as you and jay tried to bring him up to jungwon’s bedroom, where he could get some rest.

“ya know what jay once saidd,'' his voice came out slurred, as he stumbled after each step he took. jay looks at him confused.

“what did jay say?” you asked amused, hoping you would get some kind of blackmail against him.

“he saidd that he waz going to make you fall in love with him-” he trips with jay barely catching him.

“so he could get back on hyun-woo,”

“what?” you ask, looking at jay’s face worriedly.

sunoo’s drunk, you assure yourself. not capable of thinking straight at all.

“come on, let’s get you to bed,” jay responds, opening the door to jungwon’s room and laying him down on the bed.

don’t do this to me jay, not again. you worry, exiting the room and letting him fall asleep. jay looks at you anxious about what to say.

silence fills the hallway. you try to analyze his face to see some sort of innocence in his expression.

he didn’t seem to start talking, so you did, “was what sunoo said true? was i just your girlfriend so you could get back at hyun-woo and that stupid grudge you had against him?” your fingers automatically start picking near the nail bed.

he sighs in defeat, “look, yes you were but let me explain-”

“no! you don’t get to explain because you’ve been playing me for two months! two fucking months i could’ve spent with someone who actually loved me.” you argue, as he looks at you with guilt.

“i do love you apple! i swear-”

“if you loved me why didn’t you tell me earlier? I'm sure we would’ve resolved it by now instead of keeping it from me and letting me run along all oblivious to your plan.” you scoff, trying to head back downstairs.

the wound on your finger just seems to grow with each step you take, the red liquid slowly covering the new injury.

“apple please let me explain-”

you face him again, “did you not feel any guilt keeping this from me? every date we went on, every kiss we shared, was that all because of a stupid revenge plan? were you faking it throughout this whole relationship?” your lips quiver, as you prayed and prayed he would say the right thing.

but for some reason, he's frozen. like his world has stopped and so has he.

he knows he loves you and he knows he wasn’t faking it. so why was he blanking now?

you nod, wiping your tears away, wincing at the soreness of your picked finger as you leave that cursed hallway, heading to the stairwell.

“i don’t even get a goodbye?” was he serious right now?

you turn around, “jay, i was just told you dated me to get back on hyun-woo, do you think you deserve fucking goodbye?” you scoff, “honestly, i don’t even know why i gave you a chance,” and with that, you walked down the stairs, your legs slumping after each step.

you should have known, was all you could think. you should have known at the first party when he was shamelessly flirting with you. you should’ve learned that when you cried because he reminded you of hyun-woo. you should’ve known when he confidently asked you on that date. you should’ve known because chaewon warned you.

you should’ve known because it was all the same.

the flirting, the dates, the guy, and the breakup.

you grab your forgotten drink, throwing it in the trash, as you ask eunbi to drive you home.

eunbi had always been by your side. and you were always by hers. you two got so close that when you told her about hyun-woo, she immediately blocked him, and continued supporting you for which you were ever so grateful.

eunbi hurriedly rushes you to her car after seeing your messed up mascara, helping you get in.

“what happened?” eunbi asks once you're both settled, handing you tissues from the glove compartment and rubbing your shoulder.

“he dated me because he had a grudge against hyun-woo.”

“he what?” she exclaims, mouth hanging open.

i know,” you sniffle, trying to wipe away the tears coming down.

“i’m so sorry honey,” she mutters.

you don’t even want to hear any nicknames again, you don’t want to hear any “sorrys”. all you wanted was to be home.

why was it always you? why did you always have to be played? what was so bad about you that people just needed to break your heart? maybe jay would know, or hyun-woo.

“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh through your blocked nose, “is what crazy?” eunbi asks.

“this all started because i chose some dumb apple cider as a drink.”

taglist : @bookishcalls @jwonsociety @byhees @trsrina @quokkas-leebit @captivq @felixsunshine28 @lojocas @yeniiverse @starikizs @hanniluvi @misojunghwan

sorry if i missed yours!

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