#I like to think they're waiting for the girls so they can go solve some fun summer mysteries together

[coolsvilleprincess]

Today's warm up, the lads. Tomorrow??? Who really is to say.

[strangersteddierthings]

Platonic Stobin bodyswap AU idea I'll never write. This has been in my drafts for over a year (since July 2023 per the timestamp)

Post season 3; During the season 3 bathroom confession scene Robin came out to Steve, and Steve came out to her. She knows he's bi, and she's the only one who knows. Swap starts off slowly for Steve and Robin. Little moments of vertigo where the world doesn't look right for a few seconds, that progresses to black out periods of time spanning 5-15 minutes. It's them switching bodies but it's so traumatizing (they are FREAKING out) that they don't remember it. So, it's like they're just losing moments in time, which still freaks them out.

Then one day they wake up and they're... each other. And they just don't go back.

And Steve can't really pass as Robin to her parents but thankfully they just blame it on 'moody teenage angst' and "you can talk to us about anything babygirl we love you so much and we're here when you need us." Which. Yeah, Steve cries about. But it also comes with the side of GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HAVE TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN??? I CAN'T PLAY THE TRUMPET ROBIN YOU HAVE TO DROP OUT OF BAND

And Robin also cannot pass as Steve at first, but she gets to see how that matters exactly 0% because the Harrington's don't even notice. They also aren't around near as much as Steve makes them out to be. But she does get to enjoy the freedom of a legal drivers license and no job currently. HOWEVER she has walked Steve's pretty face into several doors/poles/walls because cute girls keep looking at her with hunger in their eyes and she doesn't know how to handle this.

(It makes more girls interested in a suddenly shy, stumbling, nervous Steve because those girls think they're the reason Confident Sex God Steve turns into a mess but really it's just Robin not knowing how to exist in a world where woman want her and fish fear her (sorry bad joke))

Anyway, queue shenanigannary for a bit. Steve encourages Robin to go on dates because why not get some practice in while they wait to swap back again? (he's holding out hope)

Do they have the awkward discussion of 'what are the limits to what I'm allowed to do in your body????? I dunno yet.

Anyway, Robin goes on dates. ((Does she end up going on a date with Vickie? Canonically Vickie's got no problem dating older boys? How to solve this plot line for when(if?) they switch back bodies? IDK dudes, that's Future Jess's issue.))

At some point, the gang finds out. Probably Dustin realizing Steve isn't as Steve-like as usual. He'd sniff out something was wrong with his brother for sure.

But then season 4 starts. Robin taught Steve how to play the trumpet back in August/Sept and it's then they realize that they kind of share their knowledge? Like... Steve picks up how to play the trumpet EASY. At first they think it's just Robin's body using muscle memory but then Robin realizes she knows things only Steve should.

Anyway, Steve is in band with Vickie the night of the Championshipgame, chatting easily while also trying to hint that 'Hey, I think Steve Harrington is checking you out???" while trying to tell Robin with telepathy (that they don't have... yet? Decide if they end up with telepathy later) to try and subtly check out Vickie. But neither girl is subtle so they both just whip around to stare at each other and Steve is facepalming.

NO WAIT. DO I MAKE CHANGES TO THE NARRATIVE BECAUSE IF STEVE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN, THERE IS NO WAY HE'D LET DUSTIN AND MIKE SKIP OUT ON THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. Maybe??? Will decide on this point later. Until then, above points stay.

Anyway, Chrissy still dies (sorry) and Eddie's still on the run, but like this time in the boathouse, Robin invites Eddie to stay at 'his' big empty house 'cause the parents are gone and Robin has no hangups about Eddie like Steve did in canon (he is the first person we hear call Eddie The Freak).

The end point here is that Robin, Steve, and Eddie spend A LOT of time together at Steve's house and then the angst falls in because Steve starts to fall in love with Eddie.

So, he has a breakdown in a bathroom with Robin about it, all sad and crying like "I really fuckin' like him Robs, but I can't- there- we can't-"

"I need you to take a breath and tell me what the issue is," Robin says.

"I like him Robs, but this is your body. I can't take things from you. Like your first kiss. And I certainly can't- I won't put your body through... you know. I can't do that to you."

And it takes Robin a moment to process what he means. Romantic entanglements that Steve might want to have would have to happen with her body. And maybe Robin isn't sure what to say/do because the thought of a guy and his dick anywhere near her body immediately freaks her out but... she's not in her body. She's in Steves, and has been doing things with girls in it. It never occurred to her that Steve might want to get hot and heavy with a guy in her body and maybe she's got something to unpack there???

Anyway, no time to worry about that. Vecna's gonna kill Max so they gotta go. Also, Eddie does NOT know about the body swap.

She does tell Steve to kiss Eddie, though, in the end. When they're not sure they'll live. So, Eddie calls out to Steve. "Make him pay." So, to Eddie, it looks like Steve gives him a nod and it's Robin who marches up, grabs his face, and plants one on him. Robin(Steve) doesn't stick around long enough for Eddie to kiss back (Steve wants him to because he wants a proper kiss from Eddie, but he also doesn't want him to because Eddie thinks he's kissing Robin and if he kisses back it means he likes Robin, not Steve, so Steve doesn't lock lips long enough find out).

Something something they all survive and then Eddie, hopped up on pain meds in the hospital, demands to speak to Robin. So, Steve slinks in, afraid of what's going to happen, and Eddie's like 'Robin. I appreciate that you like me but you are unfortunately a girl and I am not into that.' And Steve is like!!! my time!! It's come!!! I HAVE to get back to my body.

And then at some point they switch back. Maybe El doing some mind fuckery? Idk.

And for fun, here's the beginning of the fic that idea written out:

"Whoa," Steve blinks rapidly as the world tilts and shifts. It's very sudden, and over just as quickly as it started, but it still leaves Steve unanchored for a moment. It was probably brought on by the concussion he's been nursing these last two days, since the whole Starcourt shit. He leans sideways to try and use the wall as an anchor until everything feel right again.

He should, probably, be more concerned about this because this has been like, the fourth time this has happened and when he told Robin about it, she confessed it was happening to her, too. That Owens guy had told them there could be unknown side effects to whatever the fuck they'd been injected with and this might just be part of that. It'll fade, Steve's sure, as the days go on. Never mind that it has been happening more lately. It's going to fade. It has to.

Except, it doesn't. The sensation of be unanchored gets worse, and now it comes accompanied with loss of time. Steve will feel the tilt and shift while standing in the doorway to his room and the next thing he knows he's got a hand on his front door, keys in his hand, and doesn't know where he was trying to go.

Ring Ring

Steve shakes his head, shakes away the feeling of wrongness and goes to answer the phone. "Harrington residence, Steve speaking."

"Steve! Steve, it's getting worse!" Robin's voice sobs at him from the other end of the phone. "I-I was in the kitchen and then I was, like, huddled in the bathroom and I don't remember going there."

"Fuck, me too. I just came to standing at my front door, about to leave but I don't remember getting there, or where I was planning to go," Steve confesses back. It's strange, how easily Robin has become a part of his life. He was expecting her to not want to be withing five miles of him ever again, after what he got her dragged into, but it seems Robin isn't scared away. Perhaps it's just that he's the only other person she knows who went through Russian torture. Even if that is the case, Steve'll take it. He likes Robin a lot.

"Should we... call Dr. Owens?" Robin sounds so small when she asks.

"I don't want to," Steve confesses but doesn't elaborate. Calling Dr. Owens means admitting that something is wrong wrong. Steve doesn't want anything to be that wrong. He wants to get back to his life. He's got to get back to job searching, too, and Dr. Owens might deny him that.

[coff-in]

Okie so I was thinking about requesting for a while but never stuck with an idea. Maybe something with a reader who has been neighbors with the graves since they lived in the apartments. Like they’re a tad younger than Ashley (about two years) and looks up to the both of them like they’re older siblings and follows them around like a lost puppy. Like reader’s parents would want them to make friends with other kids but they refuse because “I want Leyley and Andy:(“ . They’re a little too touchy during childhood to both siblings, and it might bother Andrew and Ashley (Ashley a little more than Andrew lol) but eventually the neighbor mellows out. They’re still sweet and kind to those around them but they’re not as physically touchy and trying to talk to other people. Like, reader explains they can’t make it to a hangout cause they made plans with other people and the Graves siblings are like “Wait, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go-“ And now they unconsciously try to do anything to get reader to stay with them and isolate them from others. Like taking any opportunity to get what they want. Andrew’s sick? How about you skip your date to help him out? Their parents are gone for a while? Sleepover time! Just like we used to do when we were little! Oh you can’t find you’re sleeping bag and it’s conveniently colder than Antarctica? Cuddle time! You’re now stuck between two attractive goth siblings. And you’re not gonna ever leave. Ever.

notes from coff-in: i feel it in my heart (and in my delusional head) that ashley would constantly sneak over to [reader]'s place to hang out with them. and if ashley's going then andrew has to follow her to make sure she doesn't cause any trouble.

[gender neutral] reader-insert

[reader] following around leyley and andy put put her very on edge. why the fuck are you following them around?! are you trying to steal andy's gaze, you fucking floozy? go away! back off! andy's is hers!! it would take befriending leyley first before you can actually hang out with them both, and befriending leyley can take a lot. she's whiny, and clingy, and pushes and pulls [reader] away and close all the time. like an ocean of insecurity... but they're finally able to safely traverse her waves.

andy appreciates [reader]'s patience. he's also happy that ashley was able to make a genuine friend. they both found [reader]'s fixation on them weird, like go hang out with someone else already! but eventually [reader]'s unstoppable force clashed with them, the unmovable objects, and they were able to be friends. best friends, even! with friendship bracelets, sleepovers, going out to parks or streets together; honestly three peas in a pod.

other people think you're weird for hanging out with the graves siblings as much as you do. some girls talk [reader] being so brave to touch andrew so brazenly with ashley around. it's not too much of a big deal- i mean, you can't touch him for too long without giving ashley some attention too :3

and then [reader] gets older, they notice how distant they get. sure, school can be pretty hectic and busy but surely you would still have time for them, right? why aren't you coming over as much? sure, their mom isn't the most welcoming... but they can still come over to your place! oh... you're busy studying... and tomorrow you'll be out with other friends... well, they can join you! problem solved :)

ashley throws a fucking tantrum over [reader] having other friends. what do you mean you have other friends?! are you leaving them?! you can't do that! you chose them! they chose you! ashley's spreading rumors and fighting harlots in the parking lot in order for you to stay close to them. andrew is less... obvious about it? he offers to do your work (he's done it before for ashley) in exchange for you to hang out with them. simple, right? he's not asking much and you get guaranteed passing grades in return. just snuggle up next to them while you watch a movie together... simple.

they really don't know why you'd throw this away for other people.

-----

coff-in

[alexanderwales]

A small girl who was about four years old came up to me at the park while I was on the bench. Her parents were far away, but she had a large dog with her, who she informed me was named Sunno. After she offered to have me pet the dog, she couldn't get the dog to leave me, even after the petting was done.

"Sunno, come!" she said. There's a thing that four-year-olds do when they're mimicking the 'serious adult' expression, knitting the eyebrows, using their serious voice, and it's always adorable. The dog did not move at all. It was looking at me expectantly, for more pets.

So me and this little girl had this problem that we were wracking our brains about how to solve, because the dog was firmly planted in front of me. She couldn't move it.

"Do you think if I pet him enough he'll want to go?" I asked.

"He doesn't like to move sometimes," she replied.

"I worry if I pet him he'll just want to be petted more," I said.

Sunno stared at me.

"You can pet him if you want," said the little girl.

I reached my hand out to pet the dog again, and as soon as I did, she yelled, "Sunno, come!" in her serious voice and ineffectually tugged at the leash. I held my hand still, not knowing if this was a new strategy we were trying with a combination of petting and pulling, or if she was just changing course without me.

Sunno, for his part, was doing that dog thing where he pretends that the person on the other end of the leash does not exist. He was waiting patiently for my hand to descend, and at that point it felt cruel not to, so I petted him for a bit while the little girl tried to pull him away some more.

This whole thing was eventually resolved by the girl's mother coming over.

"Sorry, this is Sunno, he always does this," she explained. "Sunno, come!" I don't know how to explain it, but she used the exact same tone that the little girl had used. But this time the magic words worked, and Sunno trotted off with the little girl following behind, leash around her waist.

I guess for this little girl and her equally-sized dog this was a regular occurrence, the thing they do every Tuesday. Like Sisyphus, but a dog.

[oh-no-its-dragons]

Baby Names

And then @suebswrites also prompted me for "naming children after the war" which actually dovetailed nicely with a conversation @sarcasticmothwrites and I had the other day. 600 words of Riorgail fluff.

"Twins, Violence? You never cease to amaze me."

"You say that like I did it all by myself," she laughed. "Okay so... names."

"Do we need to have this conversation now? I expect we have some time."

"And I expect *everyone* will have their own opinions so we might want to get ahead of them."

Xaden laughed. "And brilliant too, of course. Very well. I have one name in mind immediately. Did Andarna tell you which sorts of names we should be picking?"

"She's pretty sure they're a boy and a girl. And I have one name in mind too, but... well."

"It's probably the same one, is that what you're thinking? I don't have to read your mind to guess that one. Liam."

"Yes, that's the easy one. I've got no idea what to name a girl, though."

"What would sound good with Liam?"

"Not Lilith," Violet shuddered. "That'd be too complicated even if she'd just been my mother."

"I appreciate you taking that out of my hands," Xaden nodded. "Was that the one you're worried about other people having opinions about?"

"One of them. But if Mira thinks a child should be named after Mom, she can have one of her own. Besides, if I was naming someone in honor of a parent, it'd be my father."

"Maybe the next one," Xaden kissed the top of her head.

She laughed. "Don't get ahead of yourself, I'm not sure how well my body's going to handle *one* pregnancy, let alone more than that."

Xaden stilled. "Are you..."

"Oh, I want this. It'll hurt, but I did the math and I think the calculus works out that it'll be worth it in the end."

"So we're back to names," he changed the subject. He'd gotten used to the way Violet talked about her pain, but still struggled with accepting that it was a problem he couldn't solve for her. "Is there anyone else...?"

They both paused, thinking about those they'd lost in the war. A few suggestions tossed back and forth, but there weren't any clear answers like Liam had been, and Violet felt oddly superstitious about naming one after someone living when the other was named in honor of someone dead.

"Maybe we need to think about an entirely different angle. You're named for a flower, what about something like Lily? That would sound good with Liam," Xaden suggested.

"No flowers," Violet grumbled. "I got enough of that before I entered the Quadrant, people assuming I liked the flower as if I'd names myself after it. It's one thing when it comes from someone who means it, but too many people don't."

"No flowers," Xaden liked the flustered anger in her eyes about it, though, and he kissed her again. "Maybe this can wait a few days, at least. We don't have to tell anyone until your ready. The right name will come to us."

Violet leaned into him as his hands reached down to cup her ass, then shook her head. "No good. I'm still thinking about it."

Xaden managed to make a sound half way between a groan and a laugh.

"Does your family have any naming traditions," she prompted. "I know your mom is... Did you have a grandmother you were close to or anything?"

"Bodhi's mother was the only figure I really had and considering he's talking about starting his own family I wouldn't want to without asking him."

"Oh absolutely." Violet sighed. "If only there was someone who was as obvious a choice as Liam."

"I'm fairly certain the only person you spent as much time thinking about was Lyra of Morraine, and that was because you spent so long in her journal," Xaden said, and then Violet looked at him.

"Lyra and Liam?"

"You don't think it's too much, do you?"

"No, I think it's perfect."

"Excellent," Xaden agreed, picking her up to kiss her again. "Now then, is your mind clear enough to celebrate...?"

[allwormdiet]

1.1 Gestation

Before the text even starts I'm a little impressed that Wildbow has already been like "hey if you want trigger warnings then don't read this," that's really helpful and not at all a sign of dismissive attitudes towards trauma hey I wonder if that's gonna come up at some p

Apropos of nothing I wish I'd gotten an hour for lunches back in high school, that would've ruled.

Mr. Gladly already grates pretty impressively as a character, honestly, but that's probably just me. Taylor's own biases aside, like half my family are educators and it's not a good sign when a teacher doesn't take their job seriously. Also not a good sign when a grown adult apparently craves being seen as "cool" by teenagers, but that's more a case of being kind of a loser

Taylor's voice as a narrator is already strong. You can feel her bitterness, resentment, and self-deprecation with how she looks at Madison and at herself, and she's convinced that a lack of femininity is part of what marks her as an outsider. Appearances are a tool, or in the case of Taylor's torturers, a weapon, and she has no armor against it.

This is just. So miserable. The paranoia and the desperation to try and find safety in a bathroom stall, and the fact that it doesn't protect her from getting bathed in cranberry juice? Agony.

Gee Taylor you sure spend a lot of time thinking about the specific categories of attractiveness that other women fall into (I know Wildbow says that Taylor is straight but I don't know if Wildbow is reading his own text)

The juxtaposition of anger and futility is powerful here. Taylor realizes who's penning her into the stall and it lights a fire inside of her that immediately proves useless for actually solving or escaping the problem.

Yeah called it.

Haha, she said crystal

But no for real this is such an awesome first time for both displaying a power and describing what it's like for Taylor to be connected to this, to have a constant link with so so so many bodies and senses. Do people really think this is a weak power? What's up with that.

If I remember correctly she never actually gets back at her bullies with the bugs, which is a reflection of incredible restraint on her part, and even when her capacity and willingness to inflict violence escalates there's still enough of her rationale to just never cross this one line.

Can't wait to watch her speed past all the others.

Poor girl. I know you get there eventually, but you're going to have to pay so dearly for it.

Immediate thoughts

1.1 leaves a really strong first impression; you're sympathetic to the protagonist immediately, you can see who she is and what she cares about and how she thinks, and you get a sample of what her status quo is, which is in a word: miserable. Great job setting the tone.

The impressions from other characters are shallow so far but I get the sense they're meant to be. Any depth on the part of Gladly or the bullies is incidental rn, and frankly not something that Taylor would be privy to.

I want to see what's next. I've got time before work so I'm gonna keep going, and then depending how slow things are going I might get some reading in on the clock. Stay tuned.

[wifelinkmtg]

Wifelink: Murders! #sponsored

Welcome back to the best dumb idea I've ever had! Murder has come to the City of Guilds. Well, murder lives here, but it's crept out of the shadows, crawled up from the undercity, slunk through steam and oozed its way out of the breeding pools, and guild leaders are dropping like coins from a debtor's mouth. Who could be responsible? Who could be next? Who was that woman slipping furtively into an alley, and what's her deal? Is she single? Some of these questions and more will be answered on today's episode. Live from Ravnica, this... is Wifelink.

But first, a word from today's sponsor: picture this - it's your turn to host the monthly meeting of your true crime book club, and you maybe haven't finished Massacre: the true story of Ravnica's bloodiest killings and the woman behind them, and now you're trying to decide whether to finish it so you don't look like an idiot in the discussion group, or to spend time whipping up hors d'oeuvres so you don't have to serve everyone the same stupid veggies-and-ranch plate you did last time and suffer once more through Joanna's veiled disapproval. But what if I told you there was a way to get professionally-made charcuterie shipped directly to your home, leaving you the time you need to finish your last few chapters and craft a trenchant discussion question just in time for the doorbell? With Hello Flesh, it's just that easy: the incredible chefs at Hellbender will provide you with a mouthwatering selection of their finest meats: prosciutto, summer sausage, capicola, pastrami, and much, much more! Go to helloflesh dot com now, and sign up using offer code KNIFELINK to get your first month absolutely free! That's helloflesh dot com, offer code K-N-I-F-E-L-I-N-K. Hello Flesh: Don't ask where the meat comes from.

WAIT, WE'RE DOING RAVNICA? DIDN'T YOU SKIP A COUPLE SETS

What are you, Azorius? I've never felt any fondness for Eldraine, and I really didn't vibe with the new Ixalan set, so we're doing the Ravnica Murder Mystery set. I'm not going to do every single set that comes out or this will be my full-time job by 2026.

Cold Case Cracker (art by Wayne Wu)

Some things are very simple. Good cheekbones and the classic trench coat with the wide belt. I particularly enjoy the way her hair looks more like strips of fabric or parchment.

Merchant of Truth (art by Carissa Susilo)

"Goth angel" works on me every time, and this piece is particularly gorgeous - the composition and that dress, my goodness. You don't see a lot of angels from behind in Magic, on account of you would have to figure out what the anatomy and clothing situation is where the wings connect to the back, and Carissa has solved the clothing problem rather elegantly, and refused to engage with the anatomy problem at all. I can respect that.

I've never quite understood what's going on with Orzhov angels - I think they're mostly supposed to be disillusioned ex-Boros, but they don't really get much of a voice in story. You've got the flavor text on Angel of Despair, "it is as if their duty is to an empty void," but that's a quote from the most Boros of all the angels. Perhaps it's simply that the Orzhov don't labor under the same illusions as the other white-aligned guilds - the Boros and the Azorius and as we see in this story, even the Selesnya are all firmly entrenched in the idea that they stand for what's Right and Good on Ravnica, but ultimately they stand only for themselves and their own power and pre-eminence. The Orzhov, at least, make no secret of this. Maybe that's a comfort, to an angel.

Experiment Twelve (art by Michele Giorgi)

Oh baby girl the Simic fucked you right up, didn't they. Claws and scales and some sort of muzzle - do you feel like an animal, now? Do you hate what they did to you, or do you glory in your new sharpness? Did you escape, or are you on their leash? Are you hunted, or am I?

Bubble Smuggler (art by Leesha Hannigan)

This is Glovax. I've only had them for a day but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.

Honestly I'm disconsolate that this isn't a real animal that exists in the world and that I'll never get to rescue one from an aquarium and have an octopus fish best friend for life. You know that soul-sick feeling you get when you remember that Anomalocaris has been extinct for 500 million years ago and that you will never be able to pet one? Yeah. Goddammit they're going to make this a pet on Arena and I will spend real earth dollars on it.

ALL THESE TENTACLES AND STILL THE BIGGEST SUCKER IS YOU. NOW MAKE WITH THE LEGENDARIES

Etrata, Deadly Fugitive (art by Livia Prima)

I have looked at a whole lot of Etrata art, and do you want to know my considered opinion? This outfit fucking rules. It's got one and a quarter sleeves, thirteen visible buckles, a circular collar that connects only at the sternum, and a clingy ankle-length skirt with a slit damn near up to the thigh to reveal more buckles. It is the least practical outfit I can imagine an assassin wearing short of an inflatable dinosaur costume but god, it looks like it's meant for deadly stealth, and I am in love. Etrata is broody and gorgeous and has a big knife and extraordinarily naked shoulders, and what else could you want?

Judith, Carnage Connoisseur (art by Jodie Muir)

A look specifically crafted to elicit "step on me mommy"s from the general public. I'm on record as saying that there's no way Judith does any sort of aftercare, so maybe have a Selesnya cleric on speed-dial if you're gonna run that risk.

Judith, Carnage Connoisseur (alternate art by Alex Dos Diaz)

I think Loxodon Hierarch is screening my calls.

Honestly, I would do stupid, stupid things for a pretty girl with red eyes, sharp nails and facial scarring. I'm not sure what kinds of things I would do for a pretty girl with gold flame decals on her arms, but based on prior evidence, they would probably also be extremely stupid.

Izoni, Center of the Web (art by Justine Cruz)

It's weird how people get locked in your memory at the point in time you knew them. You know you've changed a lot since then, and if you thought about it you'd agree other people might well also have changed, but you don't think about it, and then you run into an old friend or an ex and the things you knew them for, the things you've tied their memory to in your mind, aren't even still part of their life.

So Izoni, my beloved Izoni, Ravnica's foremost bug girl and finder of beetles, has moved on with her life in the past six years. She's into spiders now, that's her thing. She's a spider girl. And that's cool, spiders are cool, too, but the way this went in my head I was going to tell her about the mantis-riders of Tarkir and the dune-beetles of Amonkhet and the behavioral quirks of giant ants on Innistrad and now, instead, I'm not sure what to say. "You're looking well," I suppose, or something about, "so, leading the Swarm now? How's that going for you?"

Analyze the Pollen (art by Anna Christenson)

It's not even that big a change, really. Hardly noticeable. She still has that same intensity, that same curiosity. Her brows still furrow in concentration. She's still covered in crawling things, and she is still the most beautiful woman on Ravnica. Spiders or insects, what's the difference? All it means is that six years have passed. All it means is that the places and people you love continue to move in your absence. All it means is that you're both talking past each other to your echoes, to the people you used to know, who no longer exist. Time has eaten them both.

And if you, like time, get hungry, don't forget to use our affiliate code KNIFELINK at -

HEY. HELLO FLESH IS A RAKDOS JOINT, RIGHT

- in the middle of the ad read, dude?

YOU SAID HELLBENDER CHEFS DO THE CHARCUTERIE. THAT'S JUDITH'S PLACE

Yeah, what about it?

DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA BE GOOD WITH CONTENT SHE SPONSORED CALLING SOMEONE ELSE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN RAVNICA

Ah.

OR LIKE DO YOU THINK SHE'S GENERALLY COMFORTABLE SHARING THE SPOTLIGHT

...so thank you all so much for listening to this episode of Wifelink! I'm going to lay low for a bit, and if my body turns up face-down in an undercity canal, y'all know who did it.

[karahofthedawn]

You Owe Us One (Part 6) - The Amended Agreement

Fred Weasley x reader x George Weasley

After a steamy argument at the Yule Ball, you are asked to meet Fred and George at your usual spot. You're tired of the back and forth and are determined to figure out just what the brothers want.

Words: 4.1k

Contains: Oral sex (male and female), vaginal and anal sex, edging and threesome. No incest.

---------------------------------------

The stars above are nothing but a distant memory as you fumble your way back to the Yule Ball with the bitter cold winter wind nipping at your heels. There was still a sea of students on the dance floor that you carefully elbow your way through. 

You aren't entirely sure how this meeting is going to go with both of the Weasley twins. Part of you is angry with George for not being truthful when you had repeatedly asked if his brother was fine with him taking you to the dance. It not only made you look like a jerk, but it caused unnecessary tension between them. If you had any clue that Fred would be so jealous, then you would have called the entire date off.

Yet, you aren't regretful of tonight either. Being in George's arms on the dance floor felt like a dream come true. The way his eyes sparkled as he looked down at you made you feel like you were dancing in the clouds. He always had the effortless ability to prove that you are the only person in his mind when he was with you.

Though learning the fact that they hadn’t intended for these rendezvous to continue is weighing heavily on your mind. It’s not like you had either, but learning that it was something they had discussed with each other and not you was a bit infuriating.

You snap out of your thoughts as you approach the table that George had been seated with his brother and friends. He was gone, leaving a very flustered Ron behind. The messy dark haired boy, Harry, looks up from his hands and gives a polite smile.

"George just left," he says and slouches back into his chair.

You notice that the girls that were with them have vanished too. You decide that it is probably why they're so glum. Being dumped by a date in the middle of a dance wouldn't be a great experience for anyone.

You move closer so that they can hear you over the Weird Sisters. "Did you see where he went?"

"I don't know and I don't care," Ron snaps and crosses his arms.

Harry rubs the bridge of his nose and quickly responds with, "he left with Fred, but I don't know where they headed off to."

Right, Fred did say he was going to get George first then meet her in the secret room. It just feels wrong leaving the Yule Ball without him. You were hoping that you could have some time to get an honest explanation on why George hid Fred's jealousy from you.

"Thanks," you say with a nod.

I guess that solves it then, you'll just have to make your way there alone and quickly. The last thing you need is to gather attention from any of the professors or your classmates.

Not just that, but the encounter with Fred pushing you against that rough stone wall left you yearning for more. There was something so different about how he touched you. It's like the ball of jealousy in his gut that was festering inside of him for weeks finally bursted when he put his hands on you. You play the scenario over and over in your head while walking through the dark tunnels. You know you're supposed to wait until later, but it was impossible when all you could think about was being around them again and possibly getting some answers.

It didn't take long for you to find that familiar damp hallway. The door is partially ajar and the dancing flames guide you to the threshold. The murmur of their argument immediately stops as you push your way into the room.

Fred and George are scowling at each other, then soften as they look at you. George is the first to reach you with outstretched arms. You take a step back away from him and close the door behind you. He scans your face, his eyebrows knotting in confusion.

"What is it, Y/N?" He asks, lowering his now wringing hands.

"Oh come off it," Fred snaps. "You couldn't hide the truth forever."

George glances between you and his brother. "What did you tell her?"

"That you both agreed that this was only supposed to be a one time thing," you answer for him. "That this was supposed to end after the first time we.. well," you trail off as you nod towards the couch. You lower your gaze and feel your cheeks grow warm.

George huffs and pulls at his tie, shooting daggers at Fred. "Because we were trying to focus on our future! But things have changed, and he knows that." 

The tension in the room only thickens as Fred strides to your side and drapes an arm over your shoulders. For a moment they stare at each other. From the subtle movements and expressions from both brothers, you know that there was a battle going on in their own strange twin telepathic way. You wonder if this was normal, or if they were holding back their frustrations with each other because you are present.

"Georgie is right about that," Fred says, breaking the silence at once. "Things have changed."

George crosses his arms and his eyes flick between the both of you. His jaw clenches as Fred's arm tightens his arm around you, resembling just how his twin did in the crowd of the Yule ball. Anxiety is building in your chest as the conversation goes to another stand still.

Are you supposed to interject yourself and calm the situation? Even though it is about you, it doesn't necessarily feel like your place to do so. You watch as they continue to stare each other down like two distrustful feral cats. You can feel the muscles in Fred's forearm twitch every time George slightly shifts.

Are they really about to fight?

You see George open his mouth, and without a second thought you decide to interject with a confident and stern, "listen!"

They both raise their brows in surprise and look at you. With anxiety knotting in your stomach you pull away from Fred and stand between them, your arms tight against your chest. You aren't sure what to follow this up with, but letting them solve this themselves doesn't seem to be cutting it.

"I don't know what you both agreed on exactly before we 'officially met'," you start shakily with your gaze glued to the stone floor. "But whatever it was, I wasn't even informed of any of it until tonight. That isn't fair, especially because it seems as if you were just going to ditch me after."

As the words left your mouth the realization of how careless they both were with you hit like a ton of bricks. Being with them was something you had wanted for so long. Those few times that you were entwined with both was beyond comparable to anything. Yet, you have wanted more from the very beginning, not just a few hookups.

"It's like you hadn't even thought about how I'd feel after all of this," you hiss as you dig your nails into your biceps. "What if things hadn't changed? Was I supposed to just move on?" You feel tears sting the corners of your eyes. You blink them away quickly and finally lift your chin to face them.

Both of the boys are standing there stiffly, like two kids who just got caught doing something they shouldn't have. George is wiping his palms on his black dress robes, avoiding your gaze all together. Fred watches you with a frown pulling at his lips.

You turn on your heel and brush past them, you grab the cold metal of the door and open it. The darkness of the passageway greets you.

"Here I thought you both really liked me," you cry out, your voice echoing back at you. "But it turns out that you are just fighting over me like I'm some toy."

The door slips from your hands and it slams in front of you. You stand frozen in place as a pair of footsteps approach from behind you.

"Now that's just mean to say," one of them says.

The other finishes with, "really, is that what you think of us?"

You swing around and see them towering over you with matching concerned expressions. They both are back in sync with their arms crossed, like their argument with each other was distant history. 

"We were never going to ditch you," Fred starts.

"Never!" George exclaims. "We aren't that callous."

You wipe away tears from your red cheeks and lean back against the wooden door.

"We didn't know what to make of you, Y/N." Fred says earnestly as he reaches out and gently caresses your arm with his fingers. "Sure, we wanted to focus on our future."

George finishes with, "but we just couldn't stop thinking about you. Even after we tried to get it out of our system."

"It's true!" Fred says while nodding. "Bloody hell, it's like you're a drug."

You blush and glance between the now smiling Weasley twins. Your heart skips a beat as the knowledge of how they really feel sinks in. They take one of your hands each to pull you towards them.

Here you are again now, between the two people you can never get enough of. Your thighs squeeze together as the memories and urges flood in and coarse through your mind and veins. 

You nervously swallow, then ask the question that's been burning in your mind. "Then what should we do?"

The brothers regard each other for a few seconds, then George examines you as his thumb catches the last of your tears. Then the sentence that comes next from him sends you into orbit.

"We are going to share you."

“Share?” You repeat back and step back, bumping into his ginger haired twin behind you.

“I think that was always the idea,” Fred responds and places both hands on your shoulders.

George nods, his eyes squinting from his large grin. “Even if we never said it outloud.”

You are left speechless as their words echo in your brain. Is this another dream? Could this really be what they want? Before you can think of what to say, Fred turns you and holds your chin with his forefinger and thumb. His irises capture the flames from the fireplace behind you, the color perfectly matching his copper hair.

“That is, if you’ll have us,” He muses with a lifting brow. “Right, George?”

“Right,” he agrees with a chuckle. Two hands slither from your lower back and land on your hips. Your breath hitches as George’s warm breath tickles your skin. The shadows that are stretched across the floor and up the stonewall show his silhouette enveloping yours. Even quieter than before, he leans forward and whispers, “and selfishly I hope you say yes.”

You want to stay angry, to hold your ground and walk away from this situation that will no doubt become a disaster, but there was no hope of that. Their attention is already fully on you, their claws hooking into the desires that you so deeply have for them. How can you ever tell them no? You are burning for them at your very core, and it was building so rapidly that your answer came out in a hasty and breathy, “Yes.”

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you grab Fred by the collar and pull him into a hungry kiss. The taste of the punch from the Yule Ball lingers on his tongue. A ball of jealousy pangs in your chest as you wonder if Angelina had tasted him tonight as well. This only fuels you to grip onto his neck with both hands, leaving tiny crescent marks from your nails. He breathes out sharply, enjoying the sensation of you digging into his flesh. You want everyone to see it, so nobody else dares to tread on what you have with him again.

George moves fluidly with you both, brushing your hair off your shoulders so he can trail kisses over your exposed shoulder. His teeth sinks into the crook of your neck, his tongue rolling against your tender skin as he sucks lightly. You break the kiss with Fred and crane your neck to the side, tiny moans escaping as he increases his bite. Your world is spinning as they both press against you and sandwich you between their bodies.

As George releases his bite, he spins you to face him. He meets your lips softly, his palms holding your flushed face as he probes your mouth. His fingers move to tangle in your hair. Fred grips your hips with force as he pushes his erection against your ass. You gasp and hold onto the twin in front of you for support.

“Look at you,” George coos while looking down at you. “You’re so perfect.” His thumb traces your bruised lips before slipping it past your teeth and landing on your tongue. You purse your lips and swirl around him, making his eyes swim with lust.

You keep his gaze and drop to your knees on the hard cold stone floor. The Weasley twins glance at each other grinning, then quickly begin undoing their pants. Within seconds they had their identical cocks out and level with your face. You took them both in each hand, starting at the thick tips, then moving down the shafts with gentle and precise strokes.

You meet the tip of Fred's erection with your lips and begin tracing the head with your tongue. With his hand grabbing the roots of your hair, he encourages you to take him in. You start slow, letting your mouth get used to his girth. Bobbing back and forth, his member slides further towards the back of your throat.

George bucks his hips as he watches you work on his brother, your hand still gripping around him as well. You focus to make sure to be pleasing both of them, there could be no misunderstandings that you want more than the other. You are theirs to share, equally and wholly.

Fred's thick cock slips past the threshold of the back of your throat. You tense as you go to gag and back away, but he keeps you from doing so. His fist is full of your hair and he pushes himself even deeper, your chokes echo in the room. He smiles down at you as soon as you make eye contact with him.

"Hold it," he coaches. You feel him twitch in your throat, triggering another gag. Mascara stained tears stream down your face as you do your best to obey.

Finally, he pulls you back and slips out his wet cock. You take a few deep breaths in between coughs.

"Good girl," George says sweetly, reaching down to stroke your cheek.

Fred turns your head with the fist full of your hair and guides you to his brother. You take him in immediately, using your tongue to swirl around his sensitive tip and shaft. He groans, replacing his brother's firm grip in your hair with his gentleness. His hips move with you, deepening with every careful thrust. As his speed increases, you gag and your throat contracts on his cock. 

"F-fuck!" George moans out and grabs your face with both hands to prevent you from continuing. "You're doing so good."

You swap between the two of them several times, allowing them to use you exactly the way they want. George, gentle and fast. Fred, rough and slow. You're becoming more aware of your aching knees on the stone floor, but you don't want to stop. Hearing them moan your name as you take them in your mouth was euphoric. Right here on the floor between them, you are their entire universe.

In a swift movement, Fred drops down and scoops you up. He carries you to the familiar red cushion that envelops you as he places you down. You sit there in your pink Yule Ball gown that Fred begged you to not change out of tonight. This time they were in front of you on their knees, George carefully guiding your legs apart.

"You're not just some toy," Fred starts, his mouth slack as he gazes upon your exposed panties.

"Not at all," George agrees. "You're so much more than that."

Fred laughs and his fingers loop between the lacy fabric and your outer thigh, then he slips your panties down your legs. Your wet cunt meets the cold air and you attempt to close your legs, but they both prevent you.

"Now," Fred says with a smile as George begins kissing his way up your thigh. You can barely focus on anything other than the boy who is inches away from where you ache. "You're going to tell us when you're close. Do you understand?"

"Y-ye- ah!" Your voice cracks as George leaves lick right up your slit, just barely grazing your clit.

Fred tilts his head with a devilish grin. "Sorry, I didn't catch that."

You scowl at him, but it's cut short by George parting your folds and running his wet tongue against your sensitive nub. You gasp and grab him by the hair, your back arches as he flicks and sucks you. Your legs shake as Fred leaves fingertip bruises from keeping them open.

George slips in a finger and you give a loud gasp. Your body feels like it's on fire as he works on you. Fred rips down your dress and exposes your breasts, his hands engulfing the left as he nips at the right. 

You grip Fred by the bicep and George by his flaming red hair. "G-George! I'm close!" You shout and feel the ripples threaten to escape throughout your body.

He stops and they switch. This time Fred is lapping at you while George is muffling your moans with his mouth. Your eyes roll in the back of your skull as the twin working on your pussy wiggles his finger inside of you. It feels like only minutes that he's doing this when you become close again.

You voice it, they switch. You are throbbing now, as George is on you again. You can feel your slick running down your ass as he fingers you roughly.

"Please let me cum!" You beg Fred, who is biting above your breast so hard that you know it'll leave a perfect mouth shaped bruise.

"Not yet, darling," he says coyly.

George lifts off of you as your walls squeeze his fingers. His eyes flick to your face, so you try to plead with him. *Please, don't stop." He shakes his head and moves so his brother can continue on you. 

George's lips hover over yours as he looks into your completely flushed and needing face. His chin is still wet from your cunt as he kisses you. "How many times did you almost cum?" He asks with a strangely demanding tone.

You quiver as another orgasm approaches and you can't remember. All you know is that you need release more than ever. Right before you go over the edge, Fred stops and your entire body quakes.

"How many times?" George asks again, his eyes trained on you. 

You try to think back and push your head against the cushion. Your pulsating clit was making it almost impossible to focus. After a few seconds you reply with a shaky, "four.."

Fred and George grin at each other, then pull you to your feet. Your legs fail and George catches you. He guides you to the bed, climbing on top of you and giving you a long and passionate kiss. 

"Please," you beg. "I need you both."

He responds by grabbing your hip and forcing you on your side. His fingers trace your jawline and run against your scalp. Fred joins behind you, his hard cock pressing against your back.

You're in such a haze that it feels like a dream. You're so pent up that it's all you can think about as the twins position themselves around you. It wasn't until you  feel the pressure of their cocks on both of your entrances that you realize what they want.

"I never did this before," you admit to George nervously. 

He kisses your forehead and coos, "relax for us, Y/N. We got you."

You do as you're told and release any tension in your hips and core. George starts first, he angles his hips and pushes the head of his cock past your folds. You're so slick that he slides in with ease. You shake and hold onto his biceps as his hips finally meet yours. He thrusts carefully as he reaches his hand down and rubs your sensitive clit with his thumb.

It is Fred's turn, and he holds your hips tightly as he enters you from behind. You are being stretched somewhere new, bringing a burning and strange sensation that almost immediately tips you over the edge. He's gentle as he carefully finishes pushing the head of his erection past your gripping entrance. 

You're crying out with your arms tightly around George's neck. He pauses and watches you patiently, waiting for you to get accustomed to the both of them. Fred's hips are against your ass now, and you know that he is completely inside of you. The thought alone makes your body shake in anticipation. They remain still until you grind your hips to let them know you're ready for them to continue.

George starts first, thrusting slowly into your dripping cunt. Fred rolls his hips and stretches you, sending another shockwave of pleasure down your spine. They are sync like nothing before, pushing in while the other pulls out. Your screams of pleasure fill the air as they increase their speed. George's thumb is still on your clit, leaving you a shaking mess as you get close for the fifth time in the night.

"P-Please, can I?" You beg through tears, your quavering body being jostled around from their thrusting.

George grips you by the hair and stares deep into your eyes. "Can you P-Please what?" He teases, mocking your stuttering. "Use your words and tell us what you want."

"I want to cum! Please!" You yell and collapse against his chest pathetically as you have another wave of intense shaking take over you. You become ever more aware of the squeaking bed beneath you as their speed increases.

Fred slaps your ass so hard with his palm that you squeal with pleasure. The heat in your chest rises and you feel yourself start to come undone. You didn't think they heard you, and you aren't sure if you ever have the strength to ask again. Their cocks slide in and out of you, your cunt pulsates and you know you're just about at your peak.

"Please," you sob and dig your nails into George's shoulders. "Please!!"

Fred speaks up from behind you. "Cum for us, right now," he demands while panting.

Without a second's hesitation, you let go. A tremor releases throughout your body, and you cry out. Your back arches and your walls spasm and clench their cocks as another shockwave hits you. A haze takes over your brain as you dissolve into pleasure and you collapse against George's chest, your running mascara smudging against his shirt.

With one final thrust from each of them, they groan out in unison. Their cum fills both of your holes, trickles of it escape onto your thigh. They stay buried deep inside of you with their shafts pulsating.

Fred and George are both panting. George smiles at you, his hair stuck to the beads of sweat on his forehead. You wince and gasp as they both pull out of you, leaving the rest of their cum to pour onto the sheets. You tremble and lay squeezed between them.

"Merlin's pants," Fred laughs and wipes at his forehead.

"You can say that again," George sighs happily and pulls you flush against his chest. Fred snakes an arm around your waist.

"And to think we were going to attend that stupid ball all evening," Fred scoffs. "We would have really been missing out."

"I don't regret making an appearance though," George remarks and kisses the top of your head. "I did have the prettiest date, after all."

After a long silence, Fred grumbles, "thanks for rubbing it in."

You burst out laughing and they both join 

in. That feud was far behind all of you now. 

You lay entwined with them for the next few hours, and even though your classmates are dancing, having fun and making memories across the castle; there is no place on Earth you'd rather be than nestled between Fred and George.

[10yearsatleast]

Yknow I feel like watching the world burn today so let's do some playful and not so playful jab at some AoT Ships >;}

Warning: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN- Don't be pulling a Reiner on me and feeding me to Titans cause they're your OTP we all just F-ing around right now and it's MY take. I haven't really been exposed to why some ships work or not I'm sorta ignorant.

Warning 2: I KNOW VERY LITTLE- These are MY GUESSES as to why peeps ship this and just my take on them. I kind of like some of them but some of them I'm side eying so let's all share and be chill like that.

Ready? Let's go!

ErenxMikasa: You ship this because it's the first ship/heteronormative couple Shonen writers always prop up and as a fan you accept whatever Isayama gives you regardless of chemistry and logic.

ErenxArmin: You ship this because you've seen these two grow together and notice they have a closeness the token Canon "Hetero" couple doesn't. History will say they were close friends.

ErenxHistoria: You ship this because you saw there was chemistry and feel it had the strongest ground to grow but got screwed over and feel bitter because the first ship always wins and logic be damned.

ErenxSasha: You ship this because honestly.... Why do you ship this? I mean I get it but I don't yknow??

ErenxAnnie: You exist?

ErenxConnie: You ship this because damn it they're both bastards and you love more chaotic bastards in your life.

ErenxJean: You ship this because you have the hots for a rival dynamic and you like to believe any call outs and aggression can be solved by saying it's sexual tension.

ErenxReiner: You ship this because you got a thing for bigger guys railing the scrub even if the tension isn't as prevalent.

ErenxBertholdt: You ship this?

ErenxLevi: You ship this because the bare minimum of emotion Levi showed to Eren was enough to get you riled and you haven't recovered from your Fujoshi mindset yet. Plus age be damned by your take.

Erenx[Minor Character]: You're a mad lad.

Erenx[Other]: You fight a battle not many would

ArminxMikasa: You ship this because you know deep down neither of them could function in a relationship without Eren so they're coping hard and so are you.

ArminxAnnie: You ship this because you saw the chemistry and love the malewifexgirlboss trope and also love that just like you Armin ignores real atrocities for cute guys/girls

ArminxHistoria: You ship this because.... Wait you ship this?

ArminxSasha: You ship this because you love the dumb girl x smart boy trope even though you're fighting a losing battle given their limited time

ArminxConnie: You love the straight man and clown dynamic

ArminxJean: You ship this because you feel like Jean is the only one who truly saw Armin but at the same time you also know Jean deserves better and probably ship them because it's the silver medal to JeanxMarco in your head.

ArminxReiner: You love the stereotypical jock x nerd trope and feel like it's pseudo ReinerxBertholdt since Bert had to die for Armin to live

ArminxBertholdt: They're underrated and you're obsessed because you feel like if they had a chance they'd be closer friends than Eren and Reiner were to them

ArminxLevi: You and Levi are both coping with the fact Erwin is dead and you ship it because you don't care about the age gap and know Levi sees Armin as the replacement.

Arminx[Minor Character]: You deserve more.

Arminx[Other]: You choose the nonsensical battles and consequence be damned

MikasaxHistoria: You ship them because you feel like they're too good for Eren and they're the equivalent of LevixErwin just fem and younger.

MikasaxSasha: You ship them because you recognize that Sasha is the first friend Mikasa had outside of her childhood friend group and you think if Mikasa touched grass she'd be better off.

MikasaxAnnie: You ship them because you love strong girls and have a strong thing for the short gremlin girlfriend and her tall handler. Plus you get scaroused by tension and they had a lot of it too

MikasaxConnie: Wait you ship them??

MikasaxJean: You ship them because you like Jean and you feel like he deserved a W even though you know the two have different values and he will always be the silver medal in Mikasa's life.

MikasaxReiner: I'm assuming you ship them because they both were top in their class and you love the perfect duo even though we all know one of them would end up dead in the street if we aren't careful

MikasaxBertholdt: You are a unicorn hidden in the rough

MikasaxLevi: You ship them because you feel they're practically the same person and as the token bad ass of their trio you want them together because "like attracts like". That and to you the age gap and genetics don't matter.

Mikasax[Minor Character]: You're a brave soul for assuming Mikasa would notice anyone else.

Mikasax[Other]: You are one soldier in a sea of teams and armies against you.

HistoriaxYmir: You ship them because you are desperate for LGBTQ rep in anime and don't mind it falls into the stereotypical token gay/lesbian ship because problematic representation is better than no representation.

HistoriaxSasha: You ship them because you like cute girls??

HistoriaxAnnie: You either like the tough girl x soft girl ship or you REALLY like blonde haired blue eyed girls.

HistoriaxConnie: .... You are a unique breed

HistoriaxJean: You think Eren doesn't deserve someone like Historia/Mikasa and you think Jean doesn't deserve/deserves better than Mikasa

HistoriaxReiner: You supported Reiner sniffing her letter.

HistoriaxBertholdt: ????

HistoriaxLevi: You live vicariously through her even though Levi choked the shit out of her that one time.

Historiax[Minor Character]: You think Historia is too good for the main cast

Historiax[Other]: You crave change

SashaxAnnie: You feel like Sasha could fix her better than Armin could.

SashaxConnie: You ship them because you think they're a fun dynamic and love their friendship and honestly they're the best two of the whole series so it felt natural to you

SashaxJean: You love that they're both idiots but one tries to be fake while the other owns their nonsense. You may also feel like Jean deserves more with someone he spends more time with

SashaxReiner: You feel like if given a chance they would be the sweetest couple and probably live out your RoguexWarrior through them

SashaxBertholdt: No really you people exist?

SashaxLevi: You ship it because Sasha is the only one with balls to tell Levi when he talks too much. Plus you don't mind ignoring age gaps.

Sashax[Minor Character]: You just want your girl happy

Sashax[Other]: You crave better

AnniexConnie: You love the Idiot Guy x Girlboss dynamic and you don't care if it don't make sense. Connie is the trophy husband.

AnniexJean: You feel like Annie's attitude makes Jean scareoused

AnniexReiner: You ship them because they're the two bastards who didn't deserve a 2nd chance at life and are probably both going to hell but at least it's together

AnniexBertholdt: You ship them because you think Bertholdt deserved better and would've loved to see it explored if a brunette didn't have to be sacrificed for it.

AnniexLevi: You don't wanna get shit for shipping Levi with Mikasa so you ship him with Annie since it's a decent substitute age gap be damned

Anniex[Minor Character]: You feel like Annie deserves better

Anniex[Other]: You believe if she had someone who was an outsider to it all she may have been better than what she was

ConniexJean: You ship them because you love that they're both idiots and can flip flop between bros and bros who experimented while being nonchalant about it

ConniexReiner: You ship them because you like how close he and Reiner were and you feel like despite the bullshit they would've been happier without pussy

ConniexBertholdt: You ship them..... Idk why??

ConniexLevi: NANI!?!?

Conniex[Minor Character]: You feel like your boy could pull random strangers

Conniex[Other]: You're a unicorn fighting a war

JeanxReiner: You ship them because you feel like their bond is strong and despite being oppositional they grew close. Plus you don't mind ignoring that Reiner killed Marco.

JeanxBertholdt: Seriously you exist?

JeanxLevi: Age gap be damned you like what you see!

JeanxPieck: You ship it because you don't want Jean and Mikasa together but you do want Jean to have his black haired beauty still

JeanxMarco: You ship them because you love their friendship and you feel like they could've been gay husbands with a pet cat if given a chance lol

Jeanx[Minor Character]: You feel like anyone outside of the main cast would've been better for Jean than what he got

Jeanx[Other]: You just want Jean to have better.

ReinerxBertholdt: You ship them because they were childhood friends and you feel like they're both pretty enough and knowing each other as kids is enough to let a ship sail

ReinerxLevi: No but like really why? Is it cause Erwin's dead and you don't care about age gaps?

Reinerx[Minor Character]: You feel like that minor character could fix Reiner's baggage

Reinerx[Other]: You feel like any character could fix Reiner's baggage.

BertholdtxLevi: What?

Bertholdtx[Minor Character]: You feel like he could bag them if given a chance

Bertholdtx[Other]: You want Bertholdt happy.

LevixHange: You ship them because with how small Levi's dating pool is you felt like it was the strongest and you're obsessed with the "Polar Opposites Attract" trope even though Levi has to touch Hange with three layers of gloves.

LevixErwin: You ship them because you like dilfs and you feel like Erwin shouldve become colossal titan.

LevixMiche: What?

LevixPetra: You ship them because Petra was the one female character who was close to him/in his circle and you love the SunshinexStormy vibes they give.

Levix[Minor Character]: You feel like this Minor Character could change things up with him

Levix[Other]: You're an intriguing creature.

AoT CharacterxOC/ OCxCanon: You're an awesome ass peep who wants these characters to have better than what they're given- And you're simping bad too

And there we go that's most of the ships I could think of- Some strong some not so much.

Remember this was just for FUN- If you ship them GREAT if not that's Cool. Let's all be chill and if you feel called out just know it's not that deep.

Anyways if you think I should do an "Anti Ship" Version lemme know. Fair's fair after all!

[itsclydebitches]

CLYDE. I was thinking about the RWBY vs Ace Ops fight again because it's one my least favourite moments in the entire show and I realised that Qrow/Clover/Robyn weren't part of the conversation prior, nor were they ever acknowledged. Nothing of the effect that "Hey, maybe we should wait for Qrow/Robyn/Clover's opinion on this plan before moving onwards, considering their experience and leadership skills?" before being shut down that time is of the essence and they can't wait for them. It just feels illogical to have the Ace Ops leader, Mantle's primary representative and the leader of the Happy Huntresses and one of James' closest allies be completely absence from one the most impactful turning points of the Volume. It feels they were either purposely left out arbitrarily for the sake of two poorly conceived fights or the writers just forgot...which wouldn't be the first time. This show is very...frustrating to say the least.

YEAH. The other day I was thinking about RWBY and ludonarrative dissonance in video games. Specifically, the number of action/adventure games I've played that have a, "OMG COMPLETE THIS MISSION IMMEDIATELY TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE SOMEONE IS GONNA DIE!!" narrative paired with a "Look at all these fun side quests populating the map, you should totally spend a month of in-game time leisurely exploring them" gameplay. RWBY feels similar to me (minus the interactive elements, obviously). The narrative continually pushes the urgency of the situation, but what the characters do don't align with that. Waiting in the mansion is the classic, go-to example of this, but it's also seen in questions like, "If the group is so concerned with the safety of the Relic why don't they.... put it in the vault?" and "If Qrow needs to speak to Ironwood so badly, why doesn't he just... go to Ironwood in handcuffs rather than starting a fight that, unforeseen airship crash or not, is gonna SUPER delay him getting there." Importantly, these moments go beyond the characters simply making impulsive, fallible, human decisions. It always feels like the writers haven't thought through the situation, or are so focused on one (badly chosen) outcome that they'll ignore all logic to get there.

So, same idea with this fight. I completely understand Ironwood's position because there is a clear line of logic here. Salem is about to attack, the group has consistently lied/undermined him, ergo he is removing a potential threat by locking them up until this battle/escape is complete. No one has to agree with him, but I think the reasoning makes sense both in general and for his specific character. (Which is also one of the reasons why I think some fans are willing to hear consider his side: his writing, however messy in other places, is leagues beyond the group's, particularly in the first half of the Atlas arc.) The girls though? They're all over the place. They don't want secrets but they're going to keep them from Ironwood. But they're also going to spill them all to Robyn, someone they don't know and shouldn't trust. They want to save everyone but have no idea how and can't/won't troubleshoot an answer. They're determined to unite the people but are simultaneously determined to solve their problems with a fight. They start said fight and then Ruby immediately tries to talk her way out of it again. And, as you say, they ignore that unity/experience/help available to them by not looping the others in because, supposedly, there's just no time... but then we have long scenes where they just sit around the mansion, tearfully bemoaning the fact that they don't know what to do and getting angry that no one has magically shown up to help.

I can EASILY picture a better-if-not-perfect scenario where the girls' decisions in that fight actually follow their proclaimed intentions AND the not-actually-very-critical timeline they have (because remember, even after all this Salem just sits there for an extended time.) What if Ruby ordered the team to let themselves get arrested and then we got a cool break out of jail scene? (I mean... Ruby blasts through Ironwood's steel doors that are meant to keep people in + they sneak into Atlas HQ. Clearly this would not have been difficult for them.) What if they ran into Qrow and Robyn while in their cells? Or what if they escaped, realized they needed their uncle, and started a help Mantle/find Qrow dual mission? What if instead of broadcasting a horrifying and near incomprehensible message to the whole world, they spoke to all their allies in Atlas about the plan they'd come up with, calling them together? Maybe coded so Cinder wouldn't understand. Maybe bluntly honest like a gauntlet throw-down: we know you're here, but we're ready for you this time.

Instead Ruby forgets she exists...

There are just SO many things you can do with that fight/the aftermath that don't completely undermine the themes, the tension, the proclaimed desires, and the narrative expectations. If there has to be a battle of ally vs. ally when Salem is on her way and half our villains are roaming the streets (god I can't emphasize that enough), why is everyone with the wrong person? Why isn't Robyn fighting the Ace Ops, her political enemy long before the girls showed up? Why isn't Qrow fighting Ironwood, the guy he (stupidly) blames for Clover's death? Why isn't Clover with his team? Why isn't Ruby facing Salem? Why the hell would you have Qrow team up with Tyrian?

As a side note, I've seen a resurgence of discussion about Ruby's breakdown in Volume 9 and everything above re-emphasizes for me just how much she HAS demanded this power and responsibility. "Hey, maybe we should wait for Qrow/Robyn/Clover's opinion on this plan before moving onwards, considering their experience and leadership skills?" is one of MANY considerations when weighing the question of whether Ruby has truly been burdened with the unwanted expectations of others... because they've never been unwanted and she has never down a thing to lessen that burden. She doesn't wait. She doesn't ask. She doesn't lean on others' experience and leadership. And this goes all the way back to Ruby responding, "Yes, I want to attend Beacon and take on all the responsibilities of that despite not being old enough," but there is also a LOT in the Atlas arc - right before her Volume 9 breakdown, literal hours in-world - where Ruby stood her ground and said, "No, we're doing this my way and my team, whether they've disagreed with this decision, or suggested this course of action in the first place, will ultimately follow me because I am the leader." She told Qrow to stand down and let her continue fighting Cordovin. She made the decision to lie to Ironwood and talked the others out of coming clean. She made the call to attack the Ace Ops instead of submitting to arrest. Using the Relic and dropping Atlas was a group suggestion, but Ruby sanctioned it. Based on literally 8 Volumes of content, if anyone HAD said no to her Ruby would not have listened to them. That is an overt, consistent characterization of hers.

And then Volume 9 expects me to feel bad because she's going, "Everyone expects me to take the lead"??? Like sure, in a very general, "That's indeed stressful no matter who's at the helm" sense, but Ruby has spent years at this point loudly yelling, "I'M THE PERSON YOU SHOULD LOOK TO AND I'LL FIX IT. IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY PLAN I'LL FIGHT YOU :)" Not roping Qrow and the others in is a part of all that. Not overtly on screen - we don't have a scene where Ruby goes, "We don't need to talk to them" - but the story doesn't think their input is important. We get the closeup on her smiling face when she thinks of using the Relic and then the others just inform Winter of what is happening when she happens to call. Major decisions in RWBY have often been collaborative when it comes to suggestions, but the final call is always Ruby. Whether we're talking about "This is my fight too!" when Qrow warns her to stay back, or using the Lamp's question when Ozpin is begging her not to, or shrugging off Yang's concern that she lied to Ironwood, or telling the whole damn world about Salem when numerous people with more experience than her have said, "That's a terrible idea" for generations, Ruby forcibly takes the lead and will not back down no matter who is asking that of her, or how they're asking. In fact, I'd say that is the most OVERT and CONSISTENT way in which she displays agency in this show (which, ugh).

[romanovsonelastdance]

Hello!

From what I understand, is it true that the Vladimrivich and Alexandrovich branch of the Romanov family didn't get along. I know Nicholas II and Alexandra weren't really fans of Grand Duke Vladimir and Maria Pavlova the Elder (although Nicholas likely got some of the hate from mother dear since Maria Feodorovna and Maria Pavlova were social rivals. Although also apparently the Vladimirovichs were jealous of Nicholas and Alexandra position and "schemed" against them?). I think also Nicholas rejecting the Kiril and Victoria Melita match and then them marrying against his wishes, strengthen the animosity. Anyways, I'm writing a timeline for the Romanov monarchy to survive a bit longer (for now) and for Alexei im seriously contending Princess Elisabeth of Greece and Denmark or her older sister Princess Olga as brides for Alexei since they were "good chums" with him as a child quoted by their father Nicholas of Greece and Denmark. But realistically speaking, I'm a little puzzled how can it be accepted or allowed by Nicholas. Sure I don't think he has anything against his Greek Cousin or his daughters but they have a connection to Vladmiriovich (grandfather is Vladimir and uncle is Kiril 😜). While Alexandra has already died in my timeline due to heart complications, there is likely one obstacle Maria Feodorovna (I feel like she would have some involvement in her grandchildren marriage prospects. ), although the Greek Girls are technically on her side of the family so not sure if she would be that upset about them being Maria Pavlova's Granddaughters. Do you know if Nicholas and Alexandra'e opinion of his cousin and his daughters? And if this may outweigh the fact that the Vladimirovich branch would be absolutely taking advantage of this potential match between Alexei and Elizabeth/Olga?

The Vladimirovichi just kind of never got over how close they were to getting the throne. Vladimir was the third brother, but so was Nicholas I, so Vladimir grew up thinking maybe there was a chance. Then the oldest brother, Tsesarevich Nicholas (Nixa), died. And the second brother, Alexander, considered renouncing the throne to marry a lady-in-waiting, but was ordered to go to Denmark and propose to Nixa's fiancee, Dagmar of Denmark. They ended up actually having a happy marriage and became Alexander III and Maria Feodorovna. But Vladimir knew how close he had gotten. And then years later when Alexander III and his whole family survived a train accident, Alexander apparently said something to the effect of "How disappointed Vladimir will be when he hears we survived." And he wasn't wrong, really, because Vladimir's wife Maria Pavlovna allegedly said, "We'll never get a chance like that again."

So, yeah. Not like, great relations.

But! Everyone LOVED Prince Nicholas of Greece. He was supposedly Maria Feodorovna's favorite nephew, and was a close cousin/friend of Nicholas II. They were "Greek Nicky" and "Russian Nicky." Greek Nicky was a lot of fun, known for his sense of humor, but also for his artistic talents. He was a gifted painter and signed his works as 'Nicolas Leprince."

The two Nickys with Elena Vladimirovna in the middle.

Elena Vladimirovna (Ellen) was somewhat less beloved, she was snobbish and haughty but also devoted to charity work, and there are plenty of photographs of her and her kids with NAOTMAA, so there didn't seem to be any hard feelings at all. Whatever Nicky and Alix felt about Vladimir, Maria Pavlovna, and Kirill, they seemed to be on good terms with Greek Nicky and Ellen. So I think they would be happy with Alexei marrying one of the girls. They're Orthodox princesses with an impeccable royal pedigree including Romanov ancestry. And honestly? It might actually solve the Vladimirovichi's problem. They want the throne. Through one of Ellen's girls marrying Alexei . . . they'd kind of get it? I mean, indirectly, but still a descendent of Vladimir's would end up on the throne. They might chill out after that!

And it's still a thing with them! The current pretender to the throne is Maria Vladimirovna, Kirill's granddaughter!

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Prompt: 2) our muses with unspoken feelings forced to share a bed and end up cuddling. 

Pairing: Crubbles

In Nav School, they learn they'll have to know how to work the bomb sight. Joey doesn't have to look over to know that Harry's going pale at the implications. He reaches over and touches Harry's wrist with two fingers. Harry gives him a wide-eyed look of terror, but a little color comes back to his face.

"You'll be going for that training in pairs," their teacher says. "To minimize lost training time here, and to keep things less obvious."

In case of spies, Joey thinks. No one ever says that part out loud, but they all hear it anyway. It's their big cheat against the Krauts, the bomb sight. He can't wait to see it, even if having to use it means the worst for the bombardier. 

He and Harry go for a walk after class like they always do. Hands behind their backs, like they always do. Joey wants to reach out and touch Harry's wrist again, with two fingers or his whole hand even, if Harry's okay with it. But Joey isn't sure, and there's never a good time to ask. After class, Harry's always tense from trying to remember everything, and Joey can't say he doesn't feel the same, though he's not as tense as Harry. 

"The bomb sight," Harry says into a lull in conversation. Well, he whispers it. Like maybe the grass around them is bugged. 

"Uh-huh," Joey agrees. "KInd of excited to see it, honestly."

"Even knowing why we'd have to use it?"

"You mean the bombardier being dead or the Krauts trying to take over the world?" Joey asks.

Harry stares straight ahead, then shrugs. "Both," he says. 'Either.' He shakes his head and glances at Joey, his head cocked in that way that always makes his eyes look even bigger. "You ever scared of any of this?" Harry asks. 

Joey nods. "Sure," he says. "But I signed up for it."

"Does that help?"

You help, Joey thinks but swallows back. "Some," Joey admits. "But there's also the fact I'm good at it. So are you, in fact." Joey bites the tip of his tongue at the way Harry goes bashful. He's so smart and quick with it, too. But he's so humble. So nervy. Joey wants to pull him close and murmur every compliment he ever thinks in his ear. 

"Well, glad you're with me for all of this," Harry says. He's said it before. He says it near every day, in fact. Joey can't figure out if it means what he wants it to. That Harry's glad for him. For them. Can't figure out if Harry's dropping a subtle hint at what they could mean to each other.

Joey's gotten real good at understanding how to put his coordinates in code, but Harry, well, there's still an enigma there to solve. 

*

It's their turn for bomb sight training three weeks later. They get on a troop train with a bunch of other guys. Some get off before them. Some stay aboard when they get off at their own stop. No one asks anyone where they're going. 

They check in at the hotel, surrounded by other men in uniform. There are Red Cross girls with coffee and doughnuts, and Joey snags two plain glaze ones for him and Harry as Harry gets them squared away at the desk. 

Their room is on the first floor, way in the back, and Joey takes a big bite of his doughnut as Harry jiggles the key, then gets it to turn, then pushes the door open. 

He nearly chokes on his doughnut a few seconds later when he bumps against Harry's back and wonders why, then sees where Harry's looking. 

There's only one bed.

Joey swallows hard and opens his mouth to offer to take the couch, but he closes it again when he realizes there isn't one. Just a table with two chairs. The floor is clean, and he sets his duffel on the floor, about to say he'll sleep there when Harry huffs and gives him an amused look. 

"Guess we're sharing," he says. "At least you don't snore."

Joey stares at him. "What?" he asks.

Harry walks over to the table and sets his duffel on top of it. He gestures to the bed. "We're sharing the bed," he says like it's no matter. "The hotel's completely full. I can see if they have a rollaway, but I doubt it, and I don't mind sharing if you don't."

The thing about Harry that Joey always forgets is that he's a bundle of nerves but he's also quick to action. Of course he'd sized up the situation in an instant and made a plan. And of course he'd just laid it out simple because he and Joey are friends–best friends–and he knows Joey will listen to his suggestion. 

"Fine by me," Joey says, even as he wonders exactly how he's going to sleep with Harry right fucking next to him. Sharing the bed. The blanket. The sheet. 

"What side do you sleep on?" Harry asks. "Hard to tell with the cots."

Joey chuckles at that because, yeah, it is. "Left," he says. "Unless you can't sleep unless you're on the left."

"I like being close to the door," Harry replies, "and that's on the right, so that works."

Of course he does, Harry thinks. To make an escape in case he embarasses himself. Or to stand between anyone else and danger if it comes through. 

"Okay," Joey says. "Sounds like we're square. Want to find a place to eat?"

"Sure," Harry replies. 

They leave the room and the one bed, Harry's hand warm on the center of Joey's back for a moment as they walk down the hall. Joey wonders how warm Harry gets when he sleeps, but he pushes the thought away. Of all the not-right times to tell Harry he's got a great big crush, just before splitting a bed for the first time is an especially not-right one.

*

They have dinner, and they talk like they always do. They end up in an argument about calculations that they carry with them to the bar next to the hotel and scribble out on napkins. They're invited into a game of darts, and Joey does his best 'aw shucks' routine to get the other boys to up the bet before easily winning with a grin on his face. The other boys laugh it off and pat their shoulders and take off. Another set stand up to play and let Joey know they've seen his act. 

"You haven't seen mine," Harry says, and misses the dartboard by about three inches. 

Joey laughs into his drink as the other boys try to figure out if Harry's funning them or really that bad. Harry tells them there's only one way to find out. 

After the second game, they head back to their room. Joey opens the door this time, and he waves Harry in with a slightly loose wave. Harry grins and goes in first. By the time Joey closes the door behind them, Harry's got his tie loose and his shirt mostly unbuttoned. Joey catches up, and soon enough, they're stripped to their shorts and undershirts. 

"Teeth," Harry murmurs and walks to the bathroom. 

Joey pulls back the covers as he hears the bathroom sink turn on. Three whiskeys in, sharing a bed with Harry doesn't feel as big and serious as it had earlier. And he's not so far gone he's going to blurt out anything that could be embarrassing. He plumps his pillow then turns towards the bathroom. Harry's peeing, but Joey pays him no mind. Barracks bathrooms don't allow for privacy for any acts, so Joey just brushes his teeth and takes his turn after Harry's done. 

When he walks back into the room, Harry's on his back, hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling. 

"No thinking," Joey tells him. "It's time to sleep."

Harry cuts him an amused look and reaches for the covers, pulling them up to his chin. They sleep next to each other in barracks, and Joey's seen him settle the same way a hundred times. But this time, he's climbing into the bed on the other side and pulling his share of the blanket up to his chest. 

For a moment, Joey's chest goes fluttery and wild. He's going to sleep here next to Harry. Feel his warmth and feel the bed move when he does. He almost blurts his feelings out, but Harry closes his eyes and burrows his face into his pillow, and Joey's breath catches. 

"Goodnight, Joey," Harry says. 

Joey reaches out and turns off the lamp on his side of the bed, the only light left on in the room. "Goodnight, Harry," he replies as he lays on his back and stares at the ceiling. 

Harry shifts, and his knee brushes Joey's leg, and he murmurs an apology, but he doesn't try to pull away and make himself smaller. Joey stares at the ceiling and feels the warmth rolling off Harry and wonders what would happen if he turned his head and just watched Harry for a few minutes. 

He closes his eyes instead, then turns. He takes slow, deep breaths, and he falls asleep quick like he always does. 

*

He wakes up in the wee hours because he needs the bathroom. Harry's got an arm across his waist and his face against Joey's shoulder, and Joey doesn't think before he busses a kiss to Harry's forehead and moves slowly so he can get out of bed without waking him. 

"Where'going?" Harry mutters, hand opening and closing on the sheet. 

"Bathroom," Joey whispers and hurries along. It's only as he flushes the toilet that he realizes what he's just done. Kissed Harry on the forehead. He goes still, wondering what to do, then he takes a deep breath and turns on the tap and washes his hands. By the time he leaves the bathroom, Harry's turned over the other way, clearly asleep. Joey sighs silently in relief and climbs back into bed. He won't even remember it tomorrow, he thinks. Harry was barely awake at all. He'll probably think it was a dream. 

And then Harry rolls back over and slings his arm back around Joey's waist, and he mouths at Joey's shoulder through his shirt and pulls Joey until Joey's fully pressed against him, and then his leg tangles with Joey's, and then Harry's still again. 

Joey counts to five very slowly. "Harry?" he finally whispers. Harry doesn't answer. 

It takes Joey a lot longer to fall asleep. 

*

When he wakes up in the morning, the alarm is clanging, and Harry is muttering dire threats, and then the alarm goes quiet. Joey feels the bed shift as Harry moves around, and just as he's about to open his eyes, he feels Harry's arm slip around his waist again. 

Joey goes very, very still, then opens his eyes. Harry's watching him, gaze curious and a little scared but also desperately determined. He spreads his fingers across Joey's side and licks his lips. 

"We–uh. We were pretty–well, I was pretty cuddled up to you when I woke up," Harry says. "And you…you kissed my forehead last night, right?"

Joey nods. "I didn't mean to," he says. "But I…" he swallows hard and watches the fear leave Harry's face. He leans in and presses his lips to Harry's forehead like he had in the middle of the night. When he pulls back, Harry's eyes are closed, and he's smiling. 

"You're my best friend," Harry says, eyes still closed. "But I wanna…I mean. You know. I…"

Joey laughs. He can't help it. Trust Harry to be brave enough to push the issue then get shy about saying the words. "I know," he says. "And I wanna, too."

Harry pulls Joey in and wraps him in a hug. "Okay, but don't kiss me until I've brushed my teeth. I don't want it to be gross."

Joey laughs again and pretends like he wants to steal a kiss, then drops one of each of Harry's flushed cheeks. 

"Cheating!" Harry declares. 

"You started it," Joey replies, trailing his fingers up Harry's bicep. "With your cuddling."

Harry looks relaxed; something that Joey is always very proud he can make happen. "Can't overthink in my sleep," he says, "and my body knew what it wanted."

Joey presses his smile next to Harry's ear. "Shame we've gotta go back to cots in a couple of days," he says. "We'll have to make the most of sharing."

Harry nuzzles his temple. "Yeah," he breathes, and he gives Joey a tight hug. "Yeah, we will."

[11queensupreme11]

Everybody fucking minds and always doing it the no sexy way 😞😔

Do love no war babygirls

If we're very decided we can solve all of this in bed! The sexy way

Or play UNO and whoever wins is the top

Sincerely, after watching the dress... Totally would think they're doing some kinky shit 🤣

Beelzebub: we can hold hands if you want 🥺 totally platonic no second intentions here

Percy: *didn't hear anything, cared no shit for what's happening, wants a hot dog with meat that probably is from a rat* what did you say?

Percy watching Sally being happier without her, her friends being happy with some girl... Queen, totally trauma, I'd cry and beg my mom to hold me even if that makes us miserable

Beelzebub, your yandere tendencies are showing. Giving her traumas and comforting her after. Get a man that can do both (please don't get you a man that can do that)

(Give us moooooore I'm starving)

(Waiting for what you're going to do with that, Percy progress- maybe fall is the correct word- is showing queen. Love it)

Anyway, can someone please draw them on their date? 😭 That's so cute, they're literally so perfect together, like that couple that is the black cat boyfriend with his golden retriever girlfriend and they're precious 💞

(Beelzebub worrying about her suicidal thoughts and he admitting he doesn't want to die so much... *Cheff kiss* we love an emo boy that is self aware)

Now, Loki?

Loki, my boy, your panic is beautiful to watch, horrific to endure.

I'm wondering how they are going to deal with being in the same harem? Fight to be the favorite concubine? Seduce their way to Percy's bed?

Percy: you're just a pathetic simp pretending to be an alpha man and you just go destroy mode whenever you're confronted with your own emotions. You love me so much that is making you look pathetic

Loki:

Him switching sides in the moment he accepts he loves her is gold.

He may be crazy, sadistic and a psychopath, but by the gods he's not going to fool himself.

He loves the girl, now he needs to kill all the other people that love the same girl.

Assassination! His favorite hobby! She's so much fun and they haven't even had sex yet! Wonderful wife indeed

And starting with Beelzebub is a wise move, you know? From all of them he's the one that she's the most comfortable with, he could play the slow game he's the one she'd fall at the end (you know, once she forgets about the other world, that he could make happen too).

Right now Beelzebub is that best friend that is the one for her (the other, even if I love them, aren't so close to her). He just needs to wait, fool her and she'd be his

(as if the other are going to let that happen, but is the scent, you know?)

Loki is right to be jealous of him, no one (with a dick) is close to her like him, she's herself with him and is the only one that likes him with his depressive tendencies.

He could say: Percy, for medical reasons, undress yourself and let me study your body. It may end in sexy medical porn, depending on my self control

And she wouldn't see no wrong.

Is Beelzebub! Her bestie! She can trust him with her security (poor navy girl, you can't never trust a man that much). Even if he has feelings for her she wouldn't worry about him doing anything to her, just worry about the uncomfortable situation.

Wondering if they're going to guilty trappe her to stay (You made us love you! We are learning to be open and to accept love and you want to leave us? Leave us in a world where we're fated to yearn for you for eternity and be alone again?), Percy would suffer whatever if she thinks she's saving people, such a naive and dumb girl, too good to this world.

This whole situation is pure chaos, they're planning so many things just to crash with each other. Would be funny to see them working together but also don't know how that situation would happen.

Anyway, thanks for the amazing chapter Queen! 👑

im sorry but this part cracked me up 😭

"for medical reasons we may need to fuck 😔"

"yeah sure ok"

😭😭😭

IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER!!

i had a blast writing this chapter lmao, and im currently writing another chapter (not the next one) that's gonna be even better

maybe... idk. all i can say is that beel digs an even deeper grave in this one chapter and i just love watching him lose his shit

[indigosabyss]

Gwen Poole: Informant Ex Machina

[@luimnigh made a joke while liveblogging watching the marvels if the dossier on Kamala was written by Gwenpool, which an anon followed up on, and I really liked it. So, while I was getting some gov identification stuff done I wrote this scene. Might follow up with more stuff maybe]

The mystery of the anomalous CMBR readings had been solved to reveal the 1970s sitcom encoded in it, which just sparked so many more questions.

Technically speaking, if some faceless entity could brainwash a town, revive an Avenger, and trap them too, this was an Avengers-level threat. But there weren't any Avengers anymore, so it was on Darcy to sit and watch TV all day, while still being on payroll.

She didn't want to say it was out of her league, because it wasn't. But she would also like to know she wasn't going to be warped into this nightmare sitcom just like all the townspeople. It was a scary thought, okay?

"Hey, scoot some?" a voice said next to her. Darcy looked up to see a young woman dragging a chair with one arm and holding a notebook and pen with the other.

She moved to let her sit, obviously, and the woman immediately flipped open the notebook to start writing, as the episode progressed on the screen.

"What's your specialty?" Darcy asked, not remembering her from her earlier tour. And this one had pink hair, so she should have stuck in her mind.

"Superheroics," the woman replied, making a quick sketch. "I'm Gwendolyn Poole. SWORD sent me over when they realized that this involved some interesting people."

"Superheroes are being studied now?" Darcy shook her head. She looked a bit too young to be anything but an undergrad, if she was in academia.

"I don't study them. I know and live and breathe them," Gwen said, with far too much intensity as she threw the pen onto the table. "And when I came to this universe, I really thought I would be done looking at characters through a screen!"

"Okay chill, girl," Darcy told her nervously. "So, if you're the expert you say you are, who do you think is doing this?"

Gwen perked up at that, "Well, obviously they're playing with them both, so I wanna say Arcade. Maybe the Beyonder? He's got that Battleworld thing going on."

Darcy couldn't understand anything she was saying. She didn't know who any of these people were. Had she really been cut off from the news this badly?

Gwen was still ranting, "But I don't think that's it. You're coming at it with the perspective that the villain is external."

Something about this train of thought wasn't sitting right with her, but Darcy nodded, "Keep going..."

"I'm just saying, this whole thing is giving House of M vibes," Gwen said, shrugging.

"What's that?"

"You know, where the Scarlet Witch transforms the world to fit her own image?"

"Wait, who's the Scarlet Witch?" Darcy couldn't keep up with these leaps in logic.

Gwen groaned, "Do you not read the dossier? I specifically outline that Wanda Maximoff is the Scarlet Witch, she can manipulate reality, and she may or may not be a Nexus Being in this dimension."

"Manipulate reality as in... mind control," Darcy checked.

"Manipulate reality as in rewrite currently existing things so that they then become something different. Please, I've outlined this in her dossier, just read it," Gwen leaned back, feet resting on the table and eyes glued to the screen.

But that's impossible. If she could do that much- well, people would be making a much bigger deal about it.

"How do you know this?" she asked. Gwen smiled enigmatically, "Same way I know Wanda's going to have twins."

This episode was airing in real time. There was no way Gwen knew that was going to happen. Darcy settled in and watched as the sprinkler system finally gave up.

But she was right.

They were twins.

[grimtermemeing]

No Context, Only Chaos P6

"My friends are way funnier than I am" edition.

Okay, you're engaging in waterless behavior. Do you need moss enrichment?

You go home... then you go home... and then you go home...

And also because fuck attempting to travel alone in particular.

What is this heresy?

You know what, I am going to dunk you sideways.

Give me your fucking hand, [name.]

Don't chop off your hand, just give it to me.

... Instructions unclear, I have no hands now.

It's the moon, it does it to all of us.

Oh shit, I forgot I had a kazoo.

There are worse times and bad times, and right now is a pretty bad time.

Wait, did you say beasts or bees?

Imagine a normal ass first name and then your middle name is Gilgamesh.

You spin me right round baby right rou-- why is this light not rotating?

I didn't fall into the cliff, I t-posed into the cliff!

I can't help it, I only have so many frames!

Well then break more frames!

Just pay a subscription to get more frames, it's only $19.99 plus your soul.

They're MY frames and I need them now!

The butterflies really said 'fuck you, yeet!'

Why the fuck? Oh, okay, that was why.

You're hurting my poor carrot heart!

So that's what at the center of a moss. A carrot.

I said Karen, not carrot!

Are you saying you're not sweet and crunchy?

I'm not crunchy at all! I'm soft and squishy!!

You can't just demand memes on command!

Yeah they're just like me for real but they're normal.

Ghosts are inherently autistic.

Well [Name]'s crops are getting watered tonight!

He's just got a waffle hat, it's fine.

You've seen the e-girl outfit [Name] runs around in, right?

He looks like a middle-aged guy who fell off the Titanic!

He is kind of CEO-coded.

So what you're saying is we're going to assassinate him, got it.

Oh that's a non-issue, with his creations he's gonna assassinate himself one day.

Unmasked, unhinged, and autistic as hell.

It's fine! In absence of neck, take out your spine.

Okay but have you tried to take out your spine?

What you do, right, is you grab your [relation] and you take out his kneecaps and then that solves your problem!

So then take his legs, and then he'll never be tall again!

I don't got words, I don't got verbs, I don't got birbs... but I do got nerds.

No thank you, I get enough migraines out of this.

Look I'm pretty sure I'm ineligible for that kind of thing, I voided my warranty a long time ago.

That's the best thing about percussive maintenance! It's for when you don't got a warranty!

It's the maintenance for when you need a dose of violence in your life, but you don't want to commit the violence.

I dunno, I'm just here.

Time to go into the pit!

They awoo.

Those are some conspicuous particles.

Oh, I need to honk you.

When you get ready for a majestic leap, and instead you just bonk your head on the ceiling.

The jellyfish are doing their best!

The funniest part about the crabs is you can pick them up afterwards.

I need to slow down... just a little faster... no, faster!

No, they're not okay! No one is ever okay!

Whatever's going on there, I'm not sure I wanna be part of it. I think it might be a murder.

What do you mean you don't wanna be part of a murder?

JELLYFIMSCH.

[ P1 - P2 - P3 - P4 - P5 ]

[petrichor-idyllic]

heyy, hope ur doing well <33

so i have a request for thomas tmr x glader fem!reader, where they both came up together in the box and like the entire time theyre in the glade theyre js inseparable. so when thomas goes into the maze to save minho n alby, reader gets rlly worried and as soon as minho and thomas come back reader feels so relieved and gets emotional and thomas says something like 'dont worry, im never leaving you'. and one of them confesses to the other at the end <333

Oooo finally! I get to write for Tommy boy- that man does not get enough recognition in his own series lmao. He's the main character for a reason.

WAITING GAME

MASTERLIST | THOMAS MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Movie based fic.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, sappy stuff, that's really it.

Thomas was the first person you ever met. Well, the first person you can remember meeting.

In the Box, screeching metal surrounding you with a (admittedly handsome) teenage boy freaking out, trying to wake you up. For some reason, you were a lot calmer than Thomas was. He was bouncing off of the walls and you were just sat on the floor trying to process what was going on.

Then the ceiling opened and Thomas became a human shield.

The Gladers that you would come to know, treated you like an object and a piece of meat, bar a few exceptions. They'd never seen a girl before, but Thomas was there to protect you and make sure they didn't dare lay a hand on you.

Not that it mattered because the second you were both out of the Box, the boy grabbed your wrist and made a sprint for it.

It had somehow silently been decided that you were going to stick with each other. Which included tripping over him when he fumbled over himself and face-planted, as Newt would say.

Though, after the initial shock, you both started to relax more. Joined at the hip, wherever one of you went, the other wouldn't be too far behind.

You learnt about each other at the same rate you learnt about yourselves.

Thomas is reckless- he acts before he thinks and isn't scared of getting in a fight. He also asks a lot of questions and is more than willing to tell everyone his opinion.

You, however, are calmer. You think things through and explore more options. You prefer to let Thomas do the talking and get himself in trouble whilst you're there to try and solve whatever problem he's caused.

And you learnt this is a very small space of time.

Apart from Thomas, you get along with Newt, probably because he is one of the most respectful, and Alby, because he's more than willing to kill anyone that hurts you. Oh, and Chuck- Thomas thinks he's kind of annoying, but you already adore the small boy.

So, when Thomas gets attacked by Ben and Alby and Minho have to go into the Maze after his Banishment, you have a bad feeling about it.

You join Thomas and Newt at the giant Glade Doors, staring down the incredibly long and daunting corridor that almost feels twisting and nauseating. How Minho spends every day out there is beyond you- not that you've ever actually spoken to the guy.

Chuck stands next to you, anxiously looking between Thomas and a very stoic looking Newt. You put your hand on his shoulder.

"They're gonna be fine, Chuck," you smile at him. "Promise."

Glancing at Thomas, you brush your hand against his, making him look at you before he accepts the gesture. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you attempt to playfully nudge him.

Thomas has already become very passionate and caring about everyone here. And with his determination to be a Runner, you can tell he holds Minho very highly despite neither of you having anything to do with him.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" He scoffs, taking a second to let your reassuring presence calm him.

He hesitates. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't developed a crush on you. Well, a lot of people have developed a crush on you because you're the only girl, but you and Thomas have some kind of connection. It's obvious the creators see it too, since you came up with him.

And the feeling is mutual.

"If Minho and Alby don't come back, what are our chances of actually getting out of here?" Thomas says. You understand what he means. Minho knows the Maze better than anyone, and Alby has survived all this time.

"They're gonna make it." Newt repeats himself for what must be the fifth time.

"Newt, they-"

"He's right," you cut Thomas off. "They're gonna make it."

Over time, a crowd begins to form, and Thomas is starting to squeeze your hand a lot harder, shifting on his feet and fiddling with anything he can find. The boy is stressed. At some point, Chuck decided to hold your other hand, so now your holding the hands of two very anxious teenage boys, acting like their mother.

The Doors closing time is drawing dangerous near, and you're starting to get stressed yourself. You stare at the ground, only for your breath to catch in your throat when you look back up.

"There!" You shout, a blur of motion catching your attention as Minho struggles to carry your unconscious leader.

Almost as soon as they emerge, the Doors start to move.

"They're not gonna make it," Newt mumbles. You and Chuck exchange glances, seemingly having the same idea. Letting go of both boys, you cup your hands around your mouth.

"Minho! Come on!" You shout. "You can do it!"

"Come on, Minho!" Chuck joins in, and soon the entire Glade is cheering on the Keeper to return. Some people even telling him to leave Alby, and it doesn't take a genius to tell that Minho isn't going to do that.

"I'm sorry," Thomas grabs your wrist, making you look at him.

"What?"

Without warning, Thomas bolts forward into the Maze. Newt tries to grab him but misses as he squeezes through the Doors, which close with a thud as he just about makes it to the other side.

The crowd stands there in a stunned silence.

You, Newt and Chuck all remain where you stand, almost like if you move, what just happened will become real.

You look at Newt, who stands with his fists balled. Your hand comes to the Doors, your face crunshing as you touch the stone, almost like you're willing it to open.

Newt takes a deep breath. "Everyone bed, now." He commands.

"But, Newt-" Zart starts.

"Now." He sighs. "We can't do anything about this now- and Alby's left me in charge. Bed. Go!"

The crowd disperses, slowly, until it's just you and Chuck left, with Newt standing just behind you.

Your forehead bumps against the stone as a sob shakes your body. The situation has finally set in and you can't stop the tears.

"Hey," Newt puts his hand on your shoulder, "if anyone can survive out there; it's Minho." You raise your head, looking at him and pushing your lips into a thin line. "Get some rest." He gives you a friendly boyish tap and turns to leave.

You look at Chuck, who is sitting on the floor now.

Thomas was the first person you ever met and the only person here you actually trust, so the weird feeling of loneliness and presumptuous guilt hits more than you expected.

You also sit down, taking your place next to Chuck and ignoring Newt's orders.

"They might make it," Chuck says. "Minho knows the Maze more than anyone- if Thomas is with him, he might be okay."

You sit there for what feels like forever, but you have no intention of leaving. Neither does Chuck.

Newt comes over several times in an attempt to get either of you to move, which falls completely flat and he eventually gives up. Though, he does bring you both blankets.

Chuck falls asleep after a while, and you let him use your leg as a pillow. But you stay awake.

You've known Thomas for only a few days but it feels like your whole entire life. You, for some reason, even liked Thomas when he was just a random boy you were trapped in a box with that didn't even know his name.

And now he was gone.

You were drifting in and out of consciousness when Chuck jumps up. That and the loud sounds of the Doors opening startles you back to reality. Sitting in the same position all night definitely wasn't good for your back but you have different priorities.

Scrambling to your feet, Chuck gets the other Gladers' attention and a small crowd forms, Newt leading the group.

It's like your surroundings become static and nothing feels real as the corridor remains empty.

People start to move away, with Newt putting his hand on the small of your back in an attempt to comfort you, making you look at him.

"No way," Zart mumbles, making your attention snap back to the Maze. Rounding the corner is Thomas and Minho, both exhausted and struggling to drag Alby back to the Maze.

You freeze, relief and shock overwhelming you as you stare at them. Cheers break out as they reach the Glade, dropping to their knees and panting.

"Did you see a Griever?" Chuck asks- because of course he does.

"Yeah," Thomas pants, "I saw one."

"He didn't just see it; he killed it." Minho adds, causing a new air of unease to spread across the crowd.

"Alright," Newt clears his throat, "get to the Med hut- all of you. We gotta make sure you're not shuckin' dyin' or some klunk."

Clint and Jeff help grab Alby. Minho and Thomas pick themselves up.

Thomas pauses, looking at you.

"You're a fucking idiot," you say, watching as Thomas nervously swallows, opening his mouth but he doesn't get chance to speak.

"Oi, Greenie," Minho calls after him, "let's go!"

You jolt your head in the direction of the Keeper, silently telling Thomas to go.

"Are you happy to see him or do you wanna se him?" Chuck asks, clearly more chipper than you.

"Both?"

He laughs.

You leave them to it as Thomas and Minho get patched up. But it's a weird feeling. You replayed it in your head- you expected to dive into his arms, confess your feelings or some shit.

But you just stood there.

Unmoving. And unsure what to do.

You watch Thomas leave the hut, talking briefly to Newt before making a beline for you as you sit at the edge of the Deadheads.

You look up at him from your seat in front of an old tree, pushing your lips into a thin line.

"Hi." He says.

"Hey." You respond.

"Newt wants us to have some Gathering in Council Hall." He awkwardly rocks on his heels. "He wants us all there. The Glade' goin' crazy."

"Why would you do that?"

"What?"

"Run into the Maze?"

"I had to help," he sighs, "I couldn't just leave them-"

"You could've died!" You snap, making Thomas jump. Your voice breaks slightly, the emotions of last night coming back up. "I would've lost you." The last part comes out as more of a whisper.

Thomas sighs, moving and crouching so he can sit next to you.

"Don't worry," he looks at you, slipping his fingers into yours as your arms fall falt at your sides. "I'm never leaving you."

You look at him out of the corner of your eye. Overwhelmed by feelings and unsure what else to do, you lean in.

Kissing him in the cheek, Thomas' body immediately tenses and his skin quickly becomes warm and red. You pull back, struggling to repress the smirk of your flustered friend.

"You know," he mumbles, facing you properly, "Minho ran off and left me, and all I could do was think about getting back to you. I was going to get back to you- whatever it took."

Your heart beat picks up as he glances at your lips for a second. "I like you, (Y/N). I feel... connected to you. I don't get it and I don't remember why, but you're all I think about even though I spend all my time with you. And I guess nearly dying has made me say it."

You smiles, and the images somehow makes him more flustered. "I- uh, I want- I mean-"

"Shut up, Thomas," you lean in, brushing you nose against his and giving him a hint, which he takes.

Your body feels on fire when he kisses you, and the relief that he's still here hits you all over again. He's safe here, and he's not going anywhere.

"Oi!" Newt's voice scares the shit out of you both. "I told you shanks we have a Gathering! Quit makin' out and get your sorry butts to Council Hall!"

You sit there, both of you blinking at Newt, who clearly isn't properly equipped to deal with this because he leaves pretty quick.

Thomas chuckles, standing up and offering you a hand. You smile, taking it and allowing him to help you up.

Woooooo Thomas request- Done! I absolutely adore Minho, but it is nice to write for other characters sometimes.

He isn't going anywhere, and he's yours.

I hope you enjoyed :))