#I like that you did it on paper too... digital art is cool but im biased in favor of paper and pen | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jaxieus · 1 year ago

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ive written this three times but tumblr keeps messing up and undoing all the writing i did :'(

but i wont let it discourage me! ive got a lot to say about the art i made even though its messy sketches on mspain(t) XD

i had been feeling burnt out and decided to draw comfort characters ( some that ive not drawn in a long time or have acknowledged but never drew before) and the carebears is a franchise thats been with me for so long i made a whole painting for class about it!

i made a list and with utter shock i realized that i basically bacame my owm worts enemy! the list grew so much (and is still growing :')) and i only drew a few characters so far

i know ill render these soon but the others will take a while

(but im really concerned about how im gonna tag this without being obnoxious 🥲)

i have like alot to say about these characters i drew because they mean so much to me and i never really could delve into them at school.

theres more i want to say and its under the cut! :D

so this is gonna get a lil personal but hopefully not too much to the point its boring ,:)

the first character i want to talk about is Ursula. i remember when i was younger being increadibly infatuated with her. i would draw her whenever i could. on chalkboards, the wall, i made paper cut-out of her and digitally drew her on ms paint! she was the first character that a had a desire to be close to in a way. a character albeit evil felt comforting and till this day make me tear up from how beautiful her design is! Ursula was the first female character i felt a strong aesthetic attraction to. (im just kinda a sucker for powerful women)

so i made sure to stay true to her design by keeping her body type and tentacles. basically just switching her hands and head to the carebears design (im still deciding whether or not to keep her hair)

second has to be Rosalina. she really made me accept and realize that i did have an attraction to the same sex ':) i loved playing as her in smash bros, listening/watching her story in galaxy. i never really 'got' the whole thing but reflecting and growing as a person did make me realize that not just fictional men look great but women too!

her design is based on the carebear cousins because the main thing was the mane! you dont really see a bear with a long loc covering its eye so having her different from the others i think gives good variety

third King Candy. oka y i recently feel back inlove with him! mostly because of @/ blackthewolf17's drawings of him!! and that made me rewatch the movie and wow! i remember liking his character a while back but i never really appreciated his as a villain! watching the movie and seeing the art made me remember the discussions i had with my fam about liking him and them not really understanding. (its kinda a running theme with a lot of the characters i like)

i wanted the characters the pop out and look recognizable. i kept the crown and collar. his belly badge is a paper covering his original badge! this one shows the crown and a few bits of candy. (leaning into the fact that he doesnt belong)

next is NME SalesGuy for Four. (such a clever name) this dude is literally a character that i was shocked by his stature! i mean what did i expect? falling for a dude that exudes tall energy but is literally a short king! this dude was there during some cool family times while watching right back at ya!

while looking for references, i found i cb comic and i loved how their legs looked. it wasnt bent like the originals on the cards and i thought they looked really goofy! so i went with that with the design becasue he just doesnt really fit with everyone elses stlye

fifth Rick Sanchez. man, this old man. has been with me through a lot. i saw a poster if the show before it premiered and two years after, i watched it and ive obsessed over him so much i made people watch Rick and Morty so i could talk with them about it. R&M really got me back onto tumblr because it was my entire personality since the show was at its peak and after. (old men tsk tsk) i made OCs Self inserts and played the mobile game. i literally memorized episodes to recite as i went to sleep. and analyzed frames of my fave episode to get better at animation!

i gave Rick clothes because i wanted him to have some flair. iconic elements of him is his tousled hair, coat and alcohol. (hes drinking 'happy juice')

Sixth is Coach Brunt. a girlboss of a villain! she took care of and orphan and made her feel like she was her own! shes determined, strong, fierce, fit, has a great voice, money, and kind. what more could a girl ask for?? this was another character that i had seen while watching CS with the fam. (still havent completed it tho)

i did break the rule and give her a tuft of hair also ':/ but i like her BB i gave her.

its a paw punching a heart (maybe too violent)

Seventh is Johan liebert. i really loved this dude. the series just made me think more about human nature and nurture. i met some cool people becasue of this dude. Johan in a way made me cope with the problems that happened in my life. he really was the character that i also found out i was ace+aro. i just loved drawing him. filling pages of my sketchbook and centering english papers based around him and the lessons i learned from seeing the bad in his character and how people might turnout to be similar and how it can be a problem. (idk if it made sense, but i learned to appreciate humanity more and not be so headstrong and become blinded by my views. but also learning that its good for people to know whats coming for the people that wronged you)

Johans BB is painted on white, so you wouldnt be able to see what he is all about :)

theres is so much already but eighth is Senpai. this Fker is my worst enemy, just like all the characters i drew soo much of this guy that i thought i was gonna go crazy, there was a pang in my chest when the drawings looked like trash. he was the character that made me want to get better at art and engage more with people. i made a fnf OC to be this dudes father. (it was some of the most wholesome thing i ever drew)

Senpai has a more basic design. he also has his identifying elements like the backpack and mic

ninth is Saul. my bbg. it started with the character but sadlt turned into a full obsession over Bob Odenkirk and finding all of his shows and movies that he directed of acted in. thankfully im not deep into it anymore. but when i regularly used instagram, you could see the decent into madness for him. i made animations and really detailed fanart. if Sen got me to draw my fave better, Bob made me attempt to perfect it.

his design sadly is my weakest. i wanted to add some fake hair on him. but im sure you can see that i got lazy. a few weeks ago i made versions of the BRBA&BCS cast as Geronimo Stilton characters and (sad excusee) but i didnt want to put more into the design because i became drained from looking at the growing list D;<

his BB is based on themis :)

tenth is Big Jack Horner. i love this man. i ironically said "he was the hottest character in the movie" on my third watch and man i actually believed it on the way out of the theatre. i wanted to see if anyone liked him like i did and to my surprise people did! this dude has such a great bod, voice, attitude and like many of the characters i like i ask, "is there any proof of death? i dont think so".

i havent drawn him in months and i dont like that i havents so he was the first bear i drew. his BB is a pie but i think ill add his insignia or have him draw on it like Oopsie bear to fit his situation.

like maybe something silly like a frowning face on his BB

im going to put eleven and twelve together because both play a similar role. my two men of science. ive only recently started to like Medic and Scudworth. these two bring such a great jot to me just like all to kooky men i like as well.

sadly, they both look the same, the only thing differentiating them is the glasses. i love their voices and design.

i ahve yet to give Scudsy his own BB tho.

last thing i want to say is why i chose carebears as the main style.

the franchise has been with me since i can even remember or at least before i could comprehend what it was. i remember seeining either oopsie or good luck bear plush at a carnival and i really wanted it but it was closing and i mean it was probably bigger than me so i couldnt get it and it became an obsession of mine! i loved green and a already had a few at home whats one more? so i tried to drop hints at my mom. well as good as a 5-7 yr old could do with drawings.

theres a lot more to say but i might go one for so long it wont fit here!

this was very long and if you read it thank you very much! im glad i got to comfortably speak my mind (well write it) in my own way that did have structure but felt more personal and less embarrassing that my english teacher asking me to write something about myself and my life. or my Art teacher saying i have the freedom to create something but then talk about it with in a time span because im not the only one that has something good to say about their art.

im not sure if all of it was understandable and might've been really unnecessary but im glad either way.

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naumin · 2 years ago

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2022 in review

in an effort to blog about art on my art blog more i will be writing a post covering my work in 2022 and maybe some aspirations going forward into 2023

2022 was the year of learning to paint! at the beginning i was really frustrated, a lot of my pieces were very hit or miss and i couldnt tell why some sucked and some fuckd. i nibbled at some online courses for fundamentals, James Gurney’s Color & Light book and Marco Bucci’s painting videos, and was looking for a mentor at one point but i think i stopped cuz i broke my thumb briefly lol

a piece from december 2021 that is just a bit random and i think representative of my stabbing in the dark

studying...

in June i split a schoolism sub with emma and it was an amazing decision. i think if you have limited time to practice drawing or dont know where to go the best thing is to take a course, and ive taken cheap or free courses online but the tutors on schoolism are top of the industry and the quality of their teaching is stellar imo. literally felt my brain explode with knowledge they are the best of the best. i finished the painting workout course with wouter tulp and ive dipped in and out of numerous others since then. its cool bcus u can study at your own pace.

July was artfight, i did talk about it here so not gonna repeat myself heh

then i was really busy with my MA, its been so fun and so exhausting. a year is so short and i want to try all the printing techniques and ceramics and everything cry. but hey now i know indesign and can make my own zines and stuff which is amazing. i also tabled at my first market :) i did really like it and would love to do more, dont want to put pressure on myself to do that this year but at least wanna visit them and scope out the audiences and stuff.

school really is making me appreciate traditional art again, tbh it is nothing like digital. you just cant get that chaos or physical resistance from your materials in digital, everything is very deliberate and constructed and almost predictable. ive started to incorporate more traditional work into my pieces where i can, especially photobashing. i can use photos i offhandedly took years ago and it feels really nice to get to repurpose them.

a spread from my school project, a book about one of my passions (i chose the story of how i got into elden ring!!!) i made it from paper cutting, photobashing, and digital. (im going to sell pdf and physical copies in the new year)

so circling back to the start of the year, i think you can see marked progress in my illustrations that ive posted here. i think i learned a lot about techniques within a painting but i want to learn more about pictorial composition bcus my default tends to be 3:4, portrait, charas centre, and i want to break that habit and tell more effective stories :)

over the past 2 years ive been incorporating more realism into the characters i draw and trying to be really deliberate with what features, proportions etc they have.

a 2021 isa and a 2022 isa

i think i want to maintain this level of detail because its descriptive enough for my needs but i want to push it to be more dynamic and stylised. i really admire the way disney animators like jin kim do it. its because im not confident enough with structure and anatomy to really play with it.

on the other hand with life drawing i really want to do more realism and capture exactly whats in front of me because i think i rely on style as a crutch too much hahaha.

from december. proud of these!!!

thats whats on my mind really. again really dont want to put any undue pressure on myself and i am going to be really busy until october at least. i am seriously proud of my progress in 2022. and im really looking forward to playing bloodborne x

#diary

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translationandbetrayals · 11 months ago

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Corridor Digital Animes that are not animes Pt.2

In a past post I talked about Corridor’s anime-like sketches a shorts but I purposely avoided talking about their series: ANIME ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS (1 & 2), where they use AI filters to take their live action performance and transform those into what looks like a 2D animation, and released those videos under the motto “Did We Just Change Animation Forever? ” .

First of all, I have to address the elephant in the room; The use of AI.

As someone very interested on the tech space but also surrounded by a lot of artists Im very interested on the advances in AI technology, but I'm also conscious about the ethical use and im trying to form a more studied opinion than just saying “AI is cool I dont care about anything” nor “AI is bad, everything made with AI is bad”.

To begin with something, the first Corridor video was trained (trained as in: the filter applied over the frames of the video was made by an AI trained to replicate the mentioned artstyle) in the style of the movie Vampire Hunter D and people got very mad, and I my opinion that was the only thing that was a bit shady, but we have to understand the first video was essentially a proof of concept and they fixed it by commissioning character art for the second video with an artist that was willing to hand their art for the training process. At the moment I don't remember what platform was used to do the training, I know some where trained with copyrighted material but right now there are programs that only use owned material or can be trained with your own data so you can have copyright free generated images.

The other thing I have to say about AI is that people gets mad very fast with the concept of AI and how “its stolen art and lazy” and I have to ask where is the art in a multimedia piece? Its just the art style or there is more? Im going to make a very bold comparison now, but we all know Marcel Duchamp and the fact he brought a urinal to an art exposition, the “art” in that instance wasn’t the urinal itself, the art piece was the action; the absurdism; the boldness; the critic to the status quo and every analysis of that situation is the art piece, not the material piece itself. In the other hand this youtube video we are talking about ain’t a masterpiece, but it has an interesting original story, voice acting, all the character actions were interpreted by real actors so it has a lot of art and true effort in it, if they didn’t used an AI generated art style and keep the live action format of their old anime videos, no one would have complain and people would loved it, but as VFX artists they wanted to see how far they can go visual effects and made something really interesting.

I also have to make the comparison to Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (Or Yugioh Abridged, or YGOTAS), that's a pretty beloved series where some guy just take the original Yu-Gi-Oh anime and makes its own collage, dubs everything and tells a new story loosely based on the original series. Isn’t that stealing the art and the concepts of the characters to create something new and profit from that too? Why YGOTAS wasn’t (or is) equally controversial? Someone could say that's because Yugioh Abridged is a parody, but Corridor’s video is a parody of its genre too, just less explicit.

Anyways I kinda forgot my original point, but the ANIME ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS videos are cool, as with the ones before Corridor nailed the anime language, they did not change animation forever, but I'm pretty sure that title is just the youtube game. AI criticism is valid, but have a little more critical thinking and don't criticize things just because part of them are made with AI.

ANIME ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVT3WUa-48Y

ANIME ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWZOEFvczzA

Did We Just Change Animation Forever?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9LX9HSQkWo

Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series: https://ygotas.fandom.com/wiki/Main_Page

- Oscar Garrido

#Anime #essay

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elaichoi · 1 year ago

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gasp 🔴 live viewing of soulmates au unfolding irl

yes in fact i am (confirmed)

to be fair i haven't been on tumblr that long i joined somewhere btwn jan-mar of this year and so i don't think ive experienced many of your themes (blog profile wise), but i remember stalking the tags and it was easy to spot what works were yours based on the header edit, it stands out and is v eyecatching among other stuffs in the tags ^_^

mhm i think your style is very deviantart fs hehe,,, NAUR FR they r the ogs i used to want to be them so bad. for reference i started getting into kpop around 2/2.5 gen,, i was an admin on a facebook snsd fanpage and posted like png shadow/swirl edits 😭😭😭 simple times

hell i'd love to! i don't think i'm mentally there i fr lack the creative capacity, its in very rare circumstances do i see something that i kind of envision and edit in my head and ill usually screenshot it to keep the idea there but i even more rarely ever jump into starting the edit.

yes it is! i still have and use it, it was the 'it' app for photo editors back then me thinks, kind of like the ae of photo editing... at least from my viewpoint on the ig fanpage editing scene. it was the hotter sister to picsart lmaoo

see soulmates au!! we couldve crossed paths but we didn't!! until now!! 😾

omg wait stop it cus i used to love reading imagines n shit on ig but im pretty sure i stopped because i felt like it wasn't a popular content type esp since its a photography platform. i browsed the tags for imagines n stuff but it was meh,, i only followed ONE imagines account 🥲

wait so to clarify, u also edited on ig alongside writing?? imagine if we crossed paths on the algorithm dats crazy 😭 you're the cool one i wish i could be skilled in both literature and art ?? i simply do not have enough brain cells for that ^_^

canva on phone is my enemy‼️ at least the last time i used the mobile app,, bc i now use it only on desktop, sometimes on ipad... cus u alr cannot see the layers i cannot be doing anything complex bc i will def tap on the wrong layer and thats annoying -_- the patience u have ㅠㅠ well assuming the app is still like that idk maybe it changed

HAHAH i used to draw before like pencil paper shit so i thought i could do it digitally....and after years of not drawing on pencil paper too 💀💀

u are so much more articulate than me goodbye thats embarrassing 4 me T_T

soulmate does exist <3 look at us being prime example!!

actually i think ive active with my account within the time frame as well, probably feb-march i think, but before that i didn't care about the account that much but like slowly started make headers im a tryhard ( only after i stopped obsessing tumblr themes bc i couldn't figure it out) ARE you fr?? like u could tell my works in the tags of my header?! dude that's so,,, that's like such a huge compliment that I've got something that makes someone go ah yes it's that same. author like it feels so fulfilling, YOURE REALLY BUTTERING ME UP ILYSM!!! thousand consentual kisses!!!!

YOURE SO COOL WTH YOU'VE BEEN HERE SINCE 2/2.5 GEN PLS THATS SO awesome ive been into kpop since mid 2017 so most of my groups like og ones were third gen but I listened to 2nd gens too and SNSD my beloved!!! genie was my introduction of kpop tbh and replay by shinee is what made me stay so i can say im a child of 2nd gens too lmao but holy shit I want YOUR PLAYLIST!!!!!!!! GIVE ME SONG RECS!

tbh i get you i only edit for my headers or blog too tbh like usually if there is no purpose you don't really feel like editing bc it's like what are you even gonna do with it? and you've said that you've always posted them so maybe the fact you don't have anywhere to showcase your art has you feeling like that too?

"hotter sister of picsart" this is so real bc all the hot editorson Instagram ( the western artists collage style specially) all used superimpose and thr fact they used to pay for it too.

bro like imagine if we did cross paths i think i was more active on ig during 2019-2021? imagine if we had ever crossed paths since we both worked on kpop lmao, okay but if you like posted your work under #kpopgfx im pretty sure i have came across at least once!

did kpop have imagine accounts? i knew a lot of dating door accounts tho lmao but then again i was stuck in wattpad, and that's all the delulu you need lmao.

lmao yeah i always wrote with my works, most of my edits were based on stuff i wrote basically like love stories based on songs, certain ideas (was BIG on mythologies and all the other things.) but really fr tho i wonder if I actually ever saw your work tho because i never had the guts to interact with other editors.

lmao im the same with canva but on laptop i for the life of me cant do that plus i just use it get pngs and other stuff also when i want to do masking lmao. i usually collect shit on there and then manipulate those on my own app.

bro that is insane that you used to actually drawing like as someone who can't draw a single straight line this is so cool to me i really wish i could draw tbh

articulate and me? lmao im literally all over the place but it's so sooo fun to talk to you!!

#love mails from my beloved anon!

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megacarapa · 1 year ago

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ok so the original drawing for this was literally so cool to me so ive been wanting to color it for a while n really do it justice anddd maybe i didnt reach the golden expectation in my head but i had fun with it😂

i didnt actually choose the colors myself, i WAS TRYING to choose the colors back when i wanted to make him soft yellow and i had a whole system planned out for how to choose them but that ended up looking kinda washed out n not that good so in the end i just colorpicked from his anime colors and then later was messing around adding different colors on top of it and ended up liking the orange so much i left it like that, and then tried to make a bg that fits those colors, heres the picture before any of that

i thought the shadows you drew on him were already cool enough so when doing the shadows i just went over what you already drew, but what you drew traditionally still looks so much cooler to me so i saved a version with your original drawing under the colors bc i mean LOOK AT IT its so cool

i think its probably the paper texture and the red sketch lines being visible and the marker shadows and and its all so cool to me idk you know how i feel about markers

but the most interesting part to me was doing the lineart

i wanted to digitalize the drawing and only really just went over the lines you already did, i gotta do this for your pencil drawings bc it looks a bit awkward otherwise ashdjd (but it can still work), i did this for the tkkh coloring too and its genuinely kinda fun to me

so anyway it was a really interesting feeling seeing the finished lineart like ok i go over your lines one by one and finish it and i turn off the layer with your original drawing and look at it and i know im the one who just made all these lines but it still looks like leon's art, it kinda felt like you were there with me and like guiding my hands, you know like imagine a tiny mouse on my head showing me how to do it or even controlling mHEY WAIT A MINUTE

before anything you need to know i already had this done since yesterday just havent sent it so its not like im sending u sth just bc you sent me a cute ask (real) JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR anyway UKYOOOOOOO

ive been meaning to color this one for so long the last few months but now doing that isaac coloring finally inspired me to try it, i wanted to make him a nice soft yellow color but he somehow ended up orange idk he got away from me, i saved a bunch of versions of this i wanna show you but didnt wanna spam the inbox since the images will stack so ill show you those in a reblog or sth.....👀

LIVE UKYO REACTION YEAAAA

The gradient background and textures are so nice. I think you did good with the yellow orange color, it matches the background. Whenever I pick the yellow for his outfit it ends up being too bright and kinda greenish, which is weird cuz I really don't like yellow-green

Now the other versions 👀👀👀

#dr stone #colorings #ukyo

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toxooz · 2 years ago

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You're an amazing artist, and I look up to you. And I just wanna say that I can't wait till you post more art!!

Your style is amazing, and I'm just starting to do digital art, is there any tips you can offer? ^^

Also- have an amazing day/night!!

THANK YOUUU!!!!!! uuuh i dont think i rlly have any super special tips as far as digital art goes- with me it was more so getting used to the hand eye coordination since I'm not looking directly at what my hand is drawing and also unless ur some big super fancy Digital Artist as a profession or something i personally say dont pay a damn CENT for any art programs or w/e if you want to that's cool no problem but as far as the weird pressure of ''o i need a fancy art program with all these expensive brushes in order to make anything gOoD'' its horse shit tbh!!!! I just use Fire Alpaca its totally free with a bunch of cool little features that also lets you make your own brushes n stuff plus its virus free as far as I can see I'm sure my dad would've beat my ass over it yeeears ago when i first downloaded it if it did have any 😂 so from downloading it on the family computer to my shitty 2006 laptop to my "PC" now it seems to be doin fine 👍 SAME GOES 4 TABELTS I had my first tablet that i assume was like 70 bucks back then and I had it for like over a decade and the only reason I finally recently got a new one was my 1st tablet's wire was getting bent and i almost drew a hole it it and it had blind spots and reaaally having trouble with pen pressure lmfao(still works tho so it's now a backup):

and it seems like the no screen tablets are getting waaay cheaper bc my new one feels like im living the luxury and it was 70 bucks too but with may more pen sensor things and a little mini touch screen thing:

so yeah u aint gotta have the newest coolest tablet neither 😤 uuuuh another one is be patient ig?? as in u dont gotta do a whole ass illustration with shading and background n all that at first, I think for a good couple years I had my tablet I just colored over scanned drawings i did on paper bc I just didn't like actually drawing with my tablet pffft so i mean easing into it worked for me. I suppose, with anything, just trust the process and an unfinished digital piece may look different than an unfinished piece done traditionally so don't discouraged aaand yeah i think thats all I got hOPE U HAVE AN AMAZING DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!

#plus hell u see people making fukkin masterpeices on paint so if theres a will theres a way by god #probably not the best answer comin from just a simple hoe who draws afer work for free and hardly thinks bUT #i tried ppffft #idk man if u want something more specific lemme kno cause my ass rambles #and i just checked the new tablet price and apparaent its on sale for only like 50 bucks so my point furthurs sksksk

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nightroo · 2 years ago

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Here are the last pages of my sketchbook+something im gonna put in the new one

First page is concept art for a future location in my comic. I've been doing a lot of renditions of the same place, because I want to try everything before I put it in the comic, since after that I can't change it.

Next is a random doodle I decided to color with my alcohol markers. Have'nt used those in years, but I wanted to add some color to my sketchbook. It worked suprisingly well on this paper, which makes me a bit sad I didn't try it before lol

After that I made some concept art for a robot in Old Blood. If you follow my sideblog you might've seen my huge lore dump about the robots, but tldr there's now a few types of robots, and this one is the "animalistic" type. Considering I didn't sketch at all, the perspective is actually decent. On the right of that is just me using up the left over paint I had. I always do this because I dont want to waste paint. I never plan anything with them, I just throw paint on the page and see what comes out.

On the last pages I have sketches of fantady creatures inspired by Pliny the Elder's animal descreptions. Most of them dont have a real counterpart, except the scorpion. I used the descreptions, the illustrasions, and the real animals (because a lot of times he would describe stuff like "head of a badger", "legs of a stag" etc). Theres a lot of interesting stuff there. Completly innaccurate, but facinating lmao.

Last pics are of a painting I did on a saparate piece of paper, since I'm not 100% sure of which sketchbook should I use next...

Either way I'm gonna glue it there when I choose. As for what I painted, this is more concept art for the comic / Old Blood. The idea is like a fire forest. I got inspired by the practice of controlled fires in forests, and of trees that take advantage of periodic fires to spread their seeds. I just pushed the idea of a fire dependent forest to the extreme.

Next to it is what I used the leftover paint on. I had a sketchbook I got when I finished highschool from my art major, and the paper there is... kinda bad so I knew I'm not gonna choose this one. It ended up looking pretty cool, and I might use this as concept art as well.

Overall I've been really enjoying messing around with gouache, but now I want to get back to digital, and to the comic. It's been... way too long since I worked on it. And the idea of changing the style of it excites me.

#original art #traditional art #sketchbook #i forgot to mention the paper i painted the fire forest on is like beige #so everything has a nice brown tint to it #but you can also see the difference white paper #wouldve made bc i painted with the leftovers on white #btw the sketchbook i finished was number 7 #i used to draw on loose pieces of paper before 2016 #so i did... 7 sketchbooks in 6 years #considering how much i draw digitally... thats a lot #god i also have all the art i did for my major too.....#i wonder how much paper i actually used #maybe it reaches 1000?#im not gonna even try to do the math lol

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carnymassacre · 3 years ago

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hi dear :)c um um for the questions

4, 6, 9, 16, 18, 19, 20 (but for drawing), 21, 22, 23, 28, 29 (:]c), 40, 58, 59, 68, 93

i'm so sorry if this is too much but also i wish you much fun !

hi sweetheart mwahmwahmwah i will put this under a cut

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

its hard to remember but i remember one of them calling me impulsive, another one called me smart and a pleasure to have in class or something like that

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

you know im just gonna say goth lol also what the hell is boho okay i looked it up and its ugly and i dont like it so who cares

9. favorite smell in the summer?

uhhh idk. im gonna say funnel cake and meat on the grill. this is something i smell more in autumn but i also love the smell of fire

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

flat on my stomach with my chin propped up on a blanket pillow ect i also lay on my side often

18. ideal weather?

storm/heavy rain during the day. where it's not pitch black outside but it's certainly darker than it normally would be during that time of day. absolute bliss

19. sleeping position?

when i was younger i slept in a fetal position but nowadays i mostly end up passing out flat on my back with my limbs splayed out however is most comfortable to me at the moment

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i always draw digitally on my laptop but very rarely i will break out an old sketchbook and scribble in there there's also a special feeling to drawing on lined notebook paper

21. obsession from childhood?

DINOSAURS AND DRAGONS. my god i devoted my life to dinosaurs i wanted to be a paleontologist i was always looking at the rocks around our area to see if they had fossils in them (i actually did see some fossils twice) i had so many dinosaur books and toys i watched dinosaur movies we went to a place called the science center and looked at their cool ass dinosaur exhibit all the time, and i loved dragons too i had a ton of dragon toys and dragon books i had that dragonology book which was like the literal coolest thing ever to me (its still awesome) and i loved how to train your dragon with all my heart. dragons are some of the first things i remember drawing EVER.

22. role model?

grimharlequin is definitely my biggest inspiration as both an artist and a person. his philosophy of none of his work or interests being "ironic" really speaks to me and his artwork has such a wonderful genuine raw feeling to it. i think hes one of the only artists ive ever seen whos work retains the spirit of artwork drawn in childhood before you have any inhibitions about making your art look "good" or appealing to an audience. its very special to me. i also look up massively to toby fox, sparkleanimal here on tumblr, zun and gerard way

23. strange habits?

i have the ability to put my tongue up and behind my uvula into the flap over your throat and i do that often. why? who fucking knows

28. five songs to describe you?

god okay give me a moment im ogign to try and think about this. 1. love me normally by will wood and the tapeworms 2. lover dearest by marianas trench 3. we will commit wolf murder by of montreal 4. hate me by blue october i dotn fucking know what else im sorry i ithink these are just songs i relate to more than ones that describe me but whatever listen to three cheers for sweet revenge

29. best way to bond with you?

this is a difficult question to answer because its been a long time since any new person was able to form a bond with me but i'd say just, talking about something that we both have an interest in or engaging in it together (for example if theres a certain show we both like then watching it together) games are a good way too actually games are definitely the best way idk why i said any of that other stuff

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i barely remember anything from school im sorry

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

oh god i have to invent FOUR entire talents i have um. i guess drawing is a given? i can read japanese easily save for most kanji. i can handle doing really tedious boring shit (like shiny hunting lol) and i suppose if im really interested in something i can soak up information on it like a sponge, i remember memorizing hiragana in a day or two

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

HAIL SATAN and i just add it to the end of my sentences at random

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

does medicine count? i had mucinex once and it was genuinely the most vile thing to ever touch my tongue

93. nicknames?

my friends used to call me alexander jackson slugman adn i think danny called me ajax once. its hard to make a nickname out of alex

thank you for the ask sweetie

#ask

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tepperz · 1 year ago

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happy out of touch thursday!

Ooh I didn’t know page cliffhangers were a thing but I know what you mean! There really is this undertow that pulls the reader through the story, always to the next panel and next page. I wouldn’t even know what to look for to make that happen (except questions like you said?)

yeah!! It's an important thing to do with any manga!! Leading the leader to the next page with a mystery. Furthermore, in every page you can lead the reader to the next panel as well, with the art and bubbles too. Sugisaki does both really well. Heres an example from a random page. I could go on and talk about the next page too for a clearer example study, but I think this is enough to get a rough idea of what im talking about.

its all a lot of manga-comic-paneling technical stuff that she does to make things very fun to read. That's why its easy for you (and me!) to get sucked into reading the same volume for the millionth time after just trying to reference one scene. I mean even looking at this one page again, its so masterful. The way the buildings at the end lead to the next bubble? Genius. I haven't even spoken about how the screentones prioritizing certain objects while also setting the mood. Then the unique panel arrangement with a slight dutch angle? The lineart skill and also her use of blacks? Sugisaki is a queen at fun paneling. Theres a reason why every panel feels like a masterpiece. This is all super geek nerd stuff from a comic makers perspective, but I could just rant. endlessly. It's just so good. Chefs kiss. Again, I have my gripes with sugisaki's artistic choices and storytelling, but I can't deny that she's a genius at a lot of other things. Even just studying this one page blew my mind again.

I can’t blame anyone for avoiding backgrounds lol. But it’s a shame because she goes all out on them when she does try! The level of detail is delicious.

true. And so many of her backgrounds are so western themed. I wonder if she had to do a lot of research. Did she travel a lot for her references? hmmmm

Nah, thanks for rambling! It’s interesting to see her works analyzed from a comic creator!

I RAMBLED MORE ∑(°〇°)

It is orz We stare at our pieces for hours so there isn’t that element of freshness!

ohhhh good point. I hadnt thought about it like that. I guess its like cooking a meal -- like, it tastes so much better if someone else makes it. Because if you cook it yourself you're basically already smelling it and taste testing it the whole time. I read about that.

Oh yeah, I miss the days of deviantart tutorials where they wrote paragraphs beside each stage to explain why they did things. I try to do that in my “tutorials” since I liked them so much!

I also like that style of tutorial!! Yo people shit on deviantart all the time and I get it but it had some real good trends. Like art memes? I still have so many art memes saved. Nowadays hashtags are so cliquey and you kind of have to already know about them to participate. But back then you could just look up art meme and find so many fun challenges. I still have a big folder of all these art memes I wanted to fill out thanks to deviantart! I dont care if its not cool anymore!!! >U

Σ(°△°|||)︴ so that’s what’s in there… 🧠

i have nothing to say except that was cute and funny xD

Ye, I color correct to try to match my irl colors since so much gets lost in scanning, but I’ll definitely add more contrast and alter it if I think it’d look better that way.

yeah that makes sense i do the same thing when I scan my traditional stuff. Its hard to digitize! Sometimes I wonder if those really industrial scanners they have in art schools would make a difference. What would it actually look like if something could be *perfectly* scanned? idk. Maybe it always has to be touched up by human hands first. I don't know! :U Technology!

Stuff that’s fine in person like paper texture and color intensity (or lack of) become kind of distracting when they’re turned into digital scans, at least for my works, so I do what I can to fix those.

I get that. They weirdly look like mistakes even though they're not. Thats the beauty of traditional work though, that it's hard to replicate authentically. I've gotten into these metallic watercolors lately? They do NOT scan well lol. But They look so pretty shimmering in the light...

only half related but heres something interesting. I have a distant relative who does prints himself, and what he does afterwards is put clear paint on after printing, so it looks like it has brush strokes after it dries, even though it was printed. It shocked me at first!

I see what you mean on your piece– The second one does look much bolder and has a stronger impact!! Your color corrections changed the piece a lot! Do you like to use layer modes to add shadows and lights or is it easier to mix the colors on just a few layers and then adjust afterward?

Yeah, im glad you noticed!!! So when I'm doing those kind of corrections, I usually just combine the whole painting to one layer and then use a brightness/contrast layer in clip studio paint. Makes things a little more saturated.

Agreed 100% on dark pieces. They’re a whole different mood! Oh canson mixed media are pretty durable! I used them a lot back in the day. The number of pages in the sketchbooks are great too. I mostly used strathmore 400 and fabriano 25%, but now I’m finally switching over to cotton papers.

oooooh. What is cotton paper like? owo

I’ve never painted the front of a sketchbook either! Just lots of stickers… But having your own style on the front would set the mood for whatever you put inside! :3c What do you think you’d put on there?

I just did it yesterday! lol

Ahh I know that struggle with other language videos orz I wish there was a TTS for the subtitles or something (but then I’d miss out on the personality in his voice, dang) I guess that ensures we absorb the information lol! I didn’t know it got taken down wtf… That’s awful!! Why him of all channels?? I’m glad he didn’t give up after a setback like that. He is inspiring…

Yeah! So, from what i gathered... he had this google drive folder that was open to the public, so people could submit their art to be corrected in his videos. Well, japans laws being what they are, probably some of the art sent to him in the folders were considered against american law. Specifically, anime characters drawn in a lewd way that were submitted to him that could be read as being child-like in appearance. Naoki didn't see the art and doesn't think that it was sent in with any ill will, but that's what he guessed happened. And because google drive and youtube are both owned by google, his entire account got taken down with no chance of recovery. He was really devastated when he talked about it, especially because he uses that channel to support his family. But im really happy he's staying positive and continuing to upload, because his knowledge is so great. And not giving up, like you said, is amazing. But yeah, that's pretty much the sum of what happened to him.

Awesome I’m happy the references can be useful!! I have the digital version of the Artist’s Masters book too (wanted to read it before investing~) so I’ll add that to my drive if you want to check it out! And thanks, I really appreciate what you sent too ;v; I’m just trying to soak it all in now but I’ll let you know once I start applying all the lessons! I really like the skin ones at the moment. I “know” the rules about core shadows and subsurface scattering but actually putting them into practice is so much harder so it’s nice to see clear examples! o7

Oh yes, when you have time id love to hoard it! I mean, read it! :D I also have a lot of other tutorials and art books I can send as well.

Do you like motivational books? I feel like some of those I have are my favorites. Like "Growing Gills: How to Find Creative Focus When You're Drowning in Your Daily Life" and my audiobook version of "the subtle art of not giving a fuck"

I actually never seal my works unless it’s a gift. I’ve seen some artists use wax for watercolor and gouache but idk how archival that is. It’s tempting for postcards though since being waterproof is important! So I just put those gift paintings in a glass frame. For dry stuff like charcoal I do use a spray fixative though; I like Krylon workable fixative because it lets me keep adding afterward (though it gives everything a sandpaper texture so not the most pleasant to touch).

ohhhhhh yeah framing is a good way to preserve them. Do you put the glass over the frames too or do you leave it out? I've seen some artist used packing tape over their stuff (I was planning to do it over my sketchbook cover to waterproof it), and recently I've seen people use something called "matte Mod Podge" to glue their work down as well, but it takes like a whole day to dry each page. I have a matte cover spray that dries quicklky but the fumes from it are suuuper thick and toxic, and I don't like using it because i don't want it to harm my kitties (or myself I guess, and i also feel weird about spraying it into the environment?). I've never heard of Krylon but it sounds super handy even if it makes the texture eeeeh.

I’ve heard that about hairspray too! For personal stuff or in a sketchbook it must be really convenient. Some artists say it yellows the paper but then some never have issues so maybe that depends on the brand of hairspray (and the quality like you said)?

Yeah it needs to be really high quality hairspray. I used it for my art one time and I didn't get a yellow texture or whatever. I also tried a cheaper brand and it kinda just made stuff wet and didn't even really seal anything. Hmm.... you know, thats a good question as to how its holding up now. Ill have to dig for that sketchbook to check when I get the energy. It was kinda funny though, I did buy and use the nice hairspray on my art... and afterwards gifted it to my mom for her hair because she said it was a great brand LOL

Hahaha honestly the cleanup is what makes watercolor so wonderful in comparison to oils. Just wash it away with water =v=

True, it really makes it easy to bust out and have fun with!

You DON’T like mixing them!? But the urge to smear colors around on a palette…! Irresistible

8U NOOOOOOOOOO. LOL. When I'm mixing oils the only thing I can think is "this is going to be such a pain to clean"!!!!!!!!!! And the texture is so... eeeew. DISLIKE! It's like the oils are specifically trying to run away from me. Jail! Jail for oils!

I like mixing colors in general though lol. All my poor green watercolors are neglected because I just like mixing blue and yellow too much~ That wastes a lot of time though so just having your stuff ready is way more efficient~

Ohhh that means your watercolor sets will all look unique, as well as your pictures! Seeing used pallets are so aesthetic. Mixing real colors sure is different from digital, I'm learning. You really do need magenta and cyan and neon yellow to get any bright mixes, and white doesn't necessarily make things brighter. It's weird to me! An entirely different skillet.

I’ll wait a million years to see that Kirby (still half-dried probably. damn oils ;;;;)

I will check on kirby. I have checked on Kirby.

KIRBY IS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lool on top of the regular mess of oil paints you also had to deal with cats around just waiting to smear it onto the fur! Plus their loose hairs would find a way onto the wet paint no matter what.

YES. BOTH OF THAT. YES.

Still love cats but making art with them is Extreme Hard Mode!! An ice cooler is a brilliant way to keep them out xD Maximum security from paws.

kirby actually was stepped by a few paws before he knew safety for a time.

[Also. You have cats? What’re their names? How cute/troublemaking are they?? o//]

YES I HAVE CATS!!!! god i know this message is getting super long but LOOK AT MY BOYS!!!!

Jungle (nicknamed Juju, medium boy, medium, and medium fry), about 1 year 3 months old. He's named Jungle because he's such a creature. He paws around and looks at you with big eyes like he's taking the world in. Sometimes he acts like a cat (cat shaped? Uses litter box, check), or a lizard (kind of walks like a iguana), or a bird (he doesn't meow, he squeeks and it sounds like a high pitched bird chirp). He just does what he wants and never takes no for an answer. Me and Ashley (my wife) thought he was an idiot for a while but he's really not, hes just Weird and unpredictable. He had a couple injuries when we got him and can't raise his arms above his head, and his tail is broken in two places. Charm points: He's slightly cross-eyed, drools when he's pet and is VERY embarrassed about it (tries to lick it up afterwards), is vERY soft, and checks on you if you make any loud noises. A kind but stoic soft boy.

Second is Sandy (/Tiny, Tiny baby, Small boy, Small Fry) whos about 9 months old. He's named after Sha Wujing/Sandy in journey to the west. He's a little psychopath. A little bully with a lot of energy. He's also so sweet too though, you can pick him up virtually anytime and he also actively seeks cuddles. If you're doing something and he wants attention he will try to kill and replace whatever you're holding out of jealousy. If you give more attention to another cat, the kill bill noises go off. Charm points: he has a fat bottom and a tiny head, he doesn't come to his name because he expects to be waited on, and he'll play fetch if he feels like it. His texture is carpet-y. He's my current therapy cat.

Third is Neopoliton (Neo/Big Boy), about 7 years old. He's named because of the three colors on his nose -- chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. This boy isn't fat, just big boned. Truly a dumpus cat. Very soft, very shy. He's EXTREMELY polite. Charm points: general anxiety, has a pronounced snaggel tooth, THICC.

And an Honorary mention for Hammond, who passed away this year in a tragic accident. I can't make a list of my animals without mentioning my most beautiful and precious son. Hammond was almost 3 when he passed and he was my best friend. He followed me everywhere and constantly snuggled me. We even took walks outside together without a leash. I make art of him because he's my spirit guide now. He passed away two days after Sandy was born and I see a lot of Hammond in him. Jungle and Sandy both came to us this year after we lost him. Not to get heavy, but he means a lot to me.

It’s wild that you’ve had the opposite experience though!! Professional paints giving you less color… They’re supposed to make life easier, not harder! @@ Well, I got a couple used Daniel Smith paints and everyone says they're the best brand, but they’re ridiculously hard for me to rewet so they can be frustratingly weak too. I guess tubes are a way to guarantee you’re picking up all the color, but pans shouldn’t be fighting back quite so much!!

._.

Y... you're supposed to wet them in advance?

Coughs. Maaaaybe that was my problem >>???????

???????????

How did you learn to draw so well? Like was it from classes or a book on fundamentals or just trial and error?

//// thanks for the kind question!

I guarantee you I would have improved faster if I’d taken a class, but I hope some of the materials I’ve used over the years can be of use to you too:

Andrew Loomis’ books - I never made it past the first chapters, but those had some great advice.

Youtube - Proko’s bean method. Figure drawing references will greatly improve anatomy and “drawing what you see”. It’s boring imo, so doing just 5-10 minutes a day can keep one from burning out while still seeing improvement. Speed painting videos are a nice way to relax and study.

Will Terrell’s People Drawing series - He’s a humble man with personal advice for artists. I watch his videos when I feel discouraged or lost.

Art, art, art - Whenever I see an artwork that I like, I figure out exactly what pleases me: line thickness, nose shape, finger positions, composition, the way the hair bends in the wind, etc. Then I try to incorporate that specific characteristic into my own art.

I have growing folders of (I’m a bit embarrassed) almost 8,000 pictures, organized by characteristics, for the sole purpose of studying their prettiness. Sometimes we don’t need a tutorial to spell everything out, just an example can help us envision our own works’ potential. Also, staring at pictures is a relaxing way to study too!

And of course, trial and error~ I don’t post my sad, failed paintings or all the weird sketches I make, but they exist and teach a lot!

#art talk #text post #hammond

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pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid · 4 years ago

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wait i didn't know you did art??! you're one of those mutuals that i think are really cool but are too scared to interact with,, so i just saw the sketched of octavian and it's so good??! the lines are so clean and it's on paper. how.

Ah!!😆 thank you! 💜🌸🌸🌸

Im really insecure about my art and u really made me happy💕💕💕🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank u🌸🌸🌸 I’m so happy you liked my Octavian sketch.

I’m still practicing digital art tho and trying really hard to perfect it😭

Thank you so much! I’d love to talk to you!!! You don’t need to be scared!!! 😂🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸💜💜💜💕💕

#aahhhhh so sweeet💕💕#tributetotheliving tag #mutuals tag #love u 💜💜#reply post #not pjo

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rosebushsystem · 3 years ago

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🕳🎤🎹

🕳- Do you ever lose time? If so, how does it affect your life?

I always *think* i dont lose time, until i try and remember things other people are talking about me having been a part of, and having zero recollection of ever doing those things. So, maybe? I don’t really ever have a sudden amnesia moment, especially as typically my switches very are fluid and we rarely notice we’ve switched until it’s like, obvious and right there that a new person is fronting. So i wouldn’t say it impacts our lives too much!

🎤- Do you feel comfortable talking about your DID?

I feel fairly comfortable talking about it online, especially as pretty much everyone rattling around in the body is an oversharer, so we always jump on the opportunity to talk about ourselves.

However, it’s a completely different story irl. I rarely talk about it at all, maybe occasionally making a vague reference to something about it when i’m doing visibly badly because of it, but really irl im very,, closed off when it comes to actually talking about the deeper stuff of my mental health. I make a lot of deflecting jokes, referencing my anxiety, or depression or what have you when my friends inquire about my mental health, both as a way to deflect further probing into everything else, but also as a way to say that, yes i am struggling a ton right now, yes things are bad in my head at the moment, but im joking about it and talking about it would make it worse, ya know? So uh yeah, online, for sure, irl, you’ll have to pry my mental secrets from my cold dead hands :P

🎹- What do you create as a system?

I mean other than trauma, pretty much everyone has some interest in writing, main ones being Sam/Rose (Hi me writing this rn, also the most frequent hosts :P) we all really love stories, but as a consequence we’ve also got quite a lot of book ideas, movie ideas, webcomic ideas, etc etc, but atm we’re focusing on one big story we hope to turn into a book series one day :)

Also, a couple of us sing! Some in our schools choir, but mostly we like making our own songs, either madeup little songs about random things we’re thinking of, but we also think of large more uhh, ballad like songs, which can be a bit annoying when one of us is singing while the rest are trying to focus.

Speaking of music though, we all play piano, and are trying to figure out how to write piano music!

Also also, a few of us like to draw and are trying to get better! (That includes but is not limited to, traditional pencil and paper, digital art, pixel art, voxel art, 3d art, animation, just alllll the 3d art and modelling, etc etc suffice it to say we have tried a looooot of art forms and are making slow progress in all of them :P)

We also want to make custom animations and songs and stories and put em on youtube, like a couple of really cool songwriters have done (Ferry with PAFL, R.I.P with their cool but graphic and terrifying stuff, etc) but that’s a far off hope, we’re not that talented at either yet.

And finally we all are interested in coding and making games and stuff, yet another big hobby floating around and vying for our attention and work :P

Sorry towards the end that sorta just became a list of hobbies lol. Thank you for the ask though!! Have a good day/night :)

#asks #ask game #pafl

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writers-hes · 5 years ago

Text

christmas record.

hello! thank you so much for reading cherry, falling, and late christmas. if you haven’t read them yet, you could do so by clicking the link here.

if you want to be a part of my taglist, you can do so by clicking this link.

this is a fluffy christmas fic and even though christmas is done, i hope you enjoy it! this is my longest fic yet, with 6785 words! how cool is that? anyways, read and enjoy! send me feed back and requests, i really appreciate them :)

HAPPY 100+ FOLLOWERS I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

warning: unedited ! i was rushing to post this before christmas but i’ll be going over my fics soon to edit everything. thank you!

------------

you were a photographer. you liked going to free shows around town, taking pictures of everyone in it. you liked how music swayed them and made them live in the moment. photography was your way of immortalising that fleeting moment. still, you weren’t as successful as other photographers to make it as your main source of income and that was okay. as long as you get to share your art with an audience, you knew you were doing something. you were on a break from your shift at baskin robbins when your phone notified that you just received a message.

helenepamburn.photography: Hello i just want to say i absolutely love your work!!

your phone read. helene pemburn was a photographer you’ve never heard of before. you decided to look at her instagram and check out her work and damn, it is amazing. it seems as though her muse was harry styles, your best friend’s favourite male artist. you have listened to his songs before, even downloaded his first album and he was good.

35mmdiary: oh my god!! thank you so much. i love yours too!! portrait is something that i’m not entirely good at :-)

helenepamburn.photography: Im helene, by the way ! What camera set-up do you usually use? 35mmdiary: hi, helene!! i’m y/n. i usually just use a minolta xg-1 camera and i switch up on the lenses…i’m more of a film photographer than a digital one… helenepamburn.photography: Ah! so you don’t use dlsr cameras?? 😮

35mmdiary: i do but i just take whatever photo and then edit it on lightroom…with my old presets hehehe

35mmdiary: oh im sorry i have to go i have to finish my shift!!

 the conversation ended at that at first but weeks into it and you found yourself really enjoying talking to helene. she became an instant friend, exchanging tips and tricks on photography. she would even talk about how it was touring with harry and etcetera. you wanted to meet each other soon but it was hard, seeing as your finals was right around the corner and harry releasing his new album.

———

“helene, who are you talking to? you’ve been on that phone for so long!” jeff azzof asked. it wasn’t unlike helene to type away at her phone 24/7. she was usually in her corner, editing harry’s photos for the world to see. “y/n,” she muttered. “who?”  “i found her on instagram and she really has amazing shots! look,” helene said, showing your instagram to jeff. “and this is all film! no editing,” she praised. “oh wow, she is good,” jeff commended. “yeah, well…about that. i think i’m gonna take a break from work first,” helene started. jeff looked at her quizzically. “i know harry’s about to release his album and there’s the thing at the forum and etcetera but i think y/n is gonna be a good replacement, no?”  “does harry know?” he asked. he was a little concerned that helene’s leave was a little sudden. sure, she’s been working hard, always going where harry was and taking photographs of him but still, it was abdrupt and it wasn’t quite what he was expecting. “ah, no not yet. i was hoping you could talk to him about it?” she shyly asked. harry’s been a ball of stress lately and helene knew that if something out of the schedule were to happen, harry would freak. “helene…” jeff warned. helene looked at him, practically begging him to go tell harry. jeff only sighed and nodded. “thank you!” she gushed. “i owe you one, big time,”

———

it was almost the holiday break, and you can already feel the christmas in l.a.—it’s not snowing, particularly and it’s not as iconic as new york christmas but you can already see christmas lights hanging downtown and at the grove. starbucks already released their holiday drinks and their holiday cups. you were finishing your last paper for the term, ready to finally get back to photography. you finished ahead of everyone else in class and begged some of your professors to let you take some quizzes and tests in advance. perhaps you were lucky this christmas because they allowed you to and you passed your term with good grades.

helenepemburn.photography: y/n I have a question to ask… 35mmdiary: sure what is it??

helenepemburn.photography: Are you done with classes? The semester?? 35mmdiary: yeah why?? helenepemburn.photography: How would you feel about replacing me as a photographer??? Im about to go on a break and I want you to be my fill-in??? You will be paid the same fee as I do during those days too

35mmdiary: What??? are you sure?? helenepemburn.photography: Yes!! The team will be in l.a. next week for a couple of interviews and etc so would be able to meet you and show you the ropes and hang out!!

35mmdiary: sure!! send me the details…i’m free until christmas anyway :)

helenepemburn.photography: See you then !! Im so excited to finally meet you !!

———

it’s been a few days and your best friend was absolutely ecstatic to know that you were harry styles’ photographer for a few weeks. you’ve been thinking about backing out but from your conversations with helene, it seems like she was really craving for a short break. she told you about going to japan and malibu with harry to take behind the scenes photographs. she loved it, of course but she was getting drained. besides, you will be paid a good amount of money for your services, unlike some of the previous bands who told you that you will have a shoutout for the ‘free’ photos you would give them. artists who don’t support artists suck, don’t they?

“i can’t believe! harry fucking styles!” your best friend, gina, exclaims. she was a harrie, the biggest one you’ve seen. she went to the forum, the closing venue for his first solo world tour, bought merch, and runs a fan account on twitter. “shh! keep it down, gina! it’s just a temporary job. i just took it as a favour to helene and also because it pays well. i can pay a little more to my college debt,” you muttered. “still! once you’re on tour with him, don’t you ever forget me,” she fake cries. “i just want a video greeting for harry, okay? like the one that i got you when i met adore delano,” she told you. you nodded and she squealed, jumpy in her seat because she was about to receive a personalised video from harry styles.

———

helenepamburn.photography: Im free right now if you want to meet up!! Im in la and i forgot how much i hated la traffic ://

35mmdiary: sure! where do you wanna meet? helenepamburn.photography: Harry rented an airbnb for all of us in beverly hills…would you like to meet in a coffee shop near it?? Im really craving for american starbucks right now 35mmdiary: sure! i’ll meet you there at 2:30? helenpamburn.photography: Ok and then we can go to the airbnb to meet up with jeff so he could walk you through the details sound good? 35mmdiary: okay…i’ll see you in a bit! be safe !  

you immediately went inside your shower to take a bath. you were finally meeting helene! you didn’t know who jeff was but you decided to dress a little nicer today just in case this jeff guy was a little strict. opting for minimal make up, your favourite floral pants, white shirt, and your boots, you decided to head out with your iPad and film camera to show helene some of your photos.

it’s almost 2:30 when you arrived at the coffee shop. helene was already there, waving at you excitedly. you smiled and jogged up to her. “helene!” you called as she greeted you with a hug. “y/n! i’m so happy i get to finally meet you!” she laughs. “i hope it’s alright, i already ordered for you,” she says. “oh! thank you. how much was it? i’ll pa—“ “don’t be silly now! it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about it. now, tell me, how have you been?” she asked. you chuckled. “i’m good! i finished all my papers early to focus a little bit on my photography,” you tell her. “college is really sucking the life out of me! i worked part time in baskin robbins too so the stress is just too much,” you grumbled. “ah, well, i promise photographing harry isn’t that stressful. he’s quite chill with whatever you present him as long as it’s in black and white,” she joked. “kidding aside, harry’s whole crew is kind. very approachable and very good people,” she informed you. her words brought comfort over you as you were worrying about how they would treat a newbie. “i’m just really taking a break because i’m so tired! besides, my best friend will get married on christmas and i wanted to be there and take some pictures,” she says.

“you did mention that you like wedding photographs too,” you told her. “i love them! they’re so fun and the vibe is so different. i’m a bridesmaid so i just have to be there, you know? i’m wearing a really cute dress too! here, i’ll show you,” she gushed. she took out her phone and opened the picture. it was a great dress. it was a long peach dress and helene said that all the bridesmaids had dresses inspired by the colours of the sunset. “that’s so cool! i wanna get married someday but then again, not really,” you shared. helene nodded at that. you both spent the afternoon together, walking around beverly hills and just talking.

“hey, let’s go back to the airbnb so i can introduce you to everyone!” she gushed. she booked an uber and then immediately dragged you to the car. you loved how chatty and enthusiastic she was, basically telling you her life story and her friend’s life story in just a few hours. you rode the car once it arrived and it zoomed past the fancy beverly hills neighbourhood. it was a few minutes after when you arrived at a big house. “we’re here! i’m so excited for you to meet jeff, mitch, sara, claire, and everyone else!” she squealed. she beat you into paying for the fare and then dragged you again to the main, where she knocked and cursed at jeff for not opening the door immediately in french.

“fuck’s sake, helene! hold on!” a man called from the inside. “that’s jeff, he’s the oldest in this house but doesn’t seem like it,” she snickered. you were about to reply to helene when a friendly-looking man opened the door. he was scowling at helene, a facial expression she only chuckled at. “hello, jeff! this is y/n, y/n, this is jeff,” she introduced. “hi, it’s nice to meet you,” you told jeff. “same here,” he brushed off. “come in, enter,” he said cooly. you frowned, helene said that they were nice people but jeff seems so intimidating. “give the poor girl a break, jeffrey!” helene said. she guided you to the living room and made you sit on the the couch. “so, i take you’re helene’s replacement while she’s away?” he asked.

“uh—yeah,” you replied, picking on the loose thread of your white shirt. he chuckled at your nervousness. “you dress like harry,” “sorry?” you asked. helene laughed, noticing how similar you dressed with the star. “she does! i just noticed that!” your friend exclaimed.

“anyways, i’ll be fetching some papers and documents you have to sign. harry’s a big star after all, we can’t trust everyone,” he said before going to god-knows-where. “i’m sorry! he’s not really like that. it’s just that many people before you came here with me as an intern or something but they always end up leaking photos, putting harry in trouble and all that,” helene apologised. “oh, i totally understand. it’s no problem,” you reassured. you were fumbling on your shirt, once more, when jeff arrived. “here,” he put the folder on the coffee table. “read the document over and sign it if you agree, of course…it’s just about harry’s privacy and all that,” he said. “call me when you’re don, i’ll just make us a drink,” he left the room again and probably into the kitchen. you read over the document a few times before signing on the required pages. it was basically concerned with harry’s privacy and how you couldn’t sell harry’s photographs to the tabloids. helene was there with you to explain the whole contract and how the ropes would work.

“she’s done, jeff!” she called. jeff emerged from the kitchen with a tray of iced coffee and some fruits. he laid the tray down on the table gently and took the folder from your grasp. you watched as he made sure that you signed all of the pages on the papers and smiled. “welcome to the team!” he suddenly beamed.

“thanks,” you smiled at him.

“i’m sorry for being rude earlier. it’s just that some photographers and ‘newbies’ take this job for granted. so, anyway,” he coughed. “help yourself to some coffee and tell me about yourself,”

“well, uh—i’m y/n y/l/n. 21 years old and i’m currently taking up business ad. i really love photography but my parents aren’t really set on supporting me have it as my profession in the future. i, uh, also take photographs of artists in free shows but i mostly do film, if that’s okay? harry’s photos will be developed after four hours if we’re here in l.a. but probably more than that if we’re not here, which i’m assuming won’t happen? i have a friend from one of my electives who knows how to develop film,” you told him.

“it’s worth the wait, jeff! do you have some photos, y/n?” helene interjected. you nodded and took out your iPad.

“uh, you can just swipe through the images of the scenes and people i took,” you told him, opening the photos app and into your digital portfolio. you handed jeff the ipad and waited anxiously. “wow, these are good. helene actually showed me your instagram already and i’m impressed. now, we will give you some money for the films and the development process when you start working, which is tomorrow—“

“ah, it’s okay. the salary is enough to cover for everything,” you reassured. “no, no. i insist. helene also had the same budget. besides, you’re doing us a favour for agreeing to this job instantly,” he said. you nodded shyly. “anyways, you could stay here in the house or something since helene will leave the day after but that’s your choice, completely.” he said. “i’ll just stay in my apartment,” you told him. he nodded and looked at the time. “well, dinner’s about to start. i suggest you attend so you could meet everyone,” he smiled. you nodded, not really wanting to piss your new boss. “i’m sure everyone’s excited to meet the baby of the team,” he chuckled.

“ah! i’m so excited for you to meet claire and sara. you’re gonna love them!” helene squealed. “wait here, okay? i’ll just change into my pyjamas,” she said. you nodded and watched her leave the living room, leaving you alone with jeff.

“so, where did you grow up?” he asked. “i actually grew up here in california and then moved here in l.a. for my studies,” you informed him.

“that’s great,” he nodded. “let’s just wait for everyone else to come,” he said. you nodded and spent the following minutes chatting with helene and jeff. he may have been intimidating at first but he was a pretty chill guy. you liked his humour and immediately clicked once helene told him about the time some bands were lowballing you with a shoutout, to which jeff told you you should be charging more for your shots. it was nearing eight when two girls barged in the door, bringing some takeout.

“sara, claire!” jeff greeted. “this is y/n, the newest baby of our team,” he said. you waved at them shyly.

“she dresses like harry,” sara observed. “that’s what i thought so too!” jeff chuckled. he took the paper bags from the girls. “i’ll just fix this up in the kitchen while your girls chat,” he said while going back to the kitchen. “jeff is such a dad to all of us,” sara said once she sat in front of you with claire. “yeah, it’s nice knowing that there’s parental love going around here or it would be such a mess! mitch is the slobbiest person ever while sara here, hates his mess!” claire said. “so, how did you know helene was about to leave?” she asked. she wasn’t asking in an intruding way, she was just curious.

“well, helene and i are ‘internet friends’,” you told them. “i’m a photographer and i mostly use film. it was her who told me to come fill-in for her while she was away,”

“wait, youre 35mmdiary?” sara asked. you nodded. “she’s been raving about your work and harry seemed to like it too! i follow you on social media!”

“me too! i love your work! so, so good,” claire added.

“thanks, guys! that really means a lot to me,” you said. you took a mental note to follow them back once you go back home.

“where are the guys, anyway?” helene asked. “we couldn’t start dinner without them,”

“mitch told me he was with harry, buying some chinese food. they’re on their way back, though.” sara said.

“oh well, let’s just wait for them to come back,” helene said. you girls nodded and chatted for a bit until eighteen minutes later, the door opened, revealing the harry styles himself and mitch.

“i told you, haz! you should’ve bought soup dumplings instead of the fried ones,” a guy with long hair complained.

“but there might be holes in the dumplings and all the soup would fall out. fried dumplings are the safe option, honestly,”

“guys—“

“sarah, tell harry that soup dumplings are better that fried o—“ he stopped, just realising that there was another person in the house. “hello, who are you?” he asked, utterly confused.

“i’m the photographer filling in for helene while she’s away,” you spoke. “ah, well in that case, hello! my name is mitch,” he said. when he noticed that harry wasn’t speaking soon, he spoke again. “this is harry and that over there is adam,” “oh yeah, i know. hi, harry,” you shyly waved at him. you also waved a greeting to adam to which he returned. harry gave you a tight-lipped smile. you always imagined this moment to be somewhat chill but right now, your cheeks were absolutely burning because of how beautiful he was. pictures didn’t do him justice, no offense to helene but it was the reality. “i’m y/n,” you added.

“hi, y/n. i’m harry but mitch already beat me to it,” he muttered. mitch only laughed and told him to go to jeff so he could set up the table.

“she kinda dresses like you, no?” mitch commented once he thought they were out of earshot.

it was less than ten minutes when jeff called you girls to go to the dining room. you were sat beside helene and in front of harry, who seemed to look everywhere but you.

“well, this was supposed to be a simple dinner but it isn’t. let’s welcome y/n into the family and bid farewell to helene,” jeff started. “everyone say ‘welcome to the family, y/n’!” there was a chorus of welcomes around the table and you only managed to mutter a shy ‘thank you’ to everyone.

“so, how did you know helene?” mitch asked. “oh we met through the internet,” you replied. “she messaged me about my work and then i looked at her profile a bit and decided that i loved he work too,”

“we’ve known each other for months but only met today, actually.” helene said. “huh, i would’ve thought that you knew each other for years but then again, helene has always been the noisy one,” adam commented.

“you’re just as noisy as i am! i cant believe this is how you treat me on my last day until i come back,” helene faked sobbed.

“let’s jusy eat dinner, yeah? poor y/n must’ve been so tired and hungry from all the talk you’ve been drilling into her,” adam said. everyone nodded and took their food. you shyly opened your chinese take-out box.

“y/n, i’m sorry if this is rude but i haven’t seen any of your work before,” mitch suddenly said.

“i’m not really a big photographer,” you started. “honestly, i just go to free shows and then offer my services for a cheaper price,”

“you should definitely see her work, babe. so, so, good! she does film and that’s like, super hard,” sarah added. babe? “y/n, show him your ipad so they’ll believe me!”

“alright...” you nodded and fished for your ipad, opening the album that contained your beat shots so far. you handed it to mitch. you stared at him for any reactions and was glad to see him focus on your pictures, zooming in on some of them.

“these aren’t filters? damn, you’re good. yo, look at this, adam! isn’t this the band you’ve been listening to on soundcloud?” mitch asked, showing adam your photograph of the vocalist of peach pit. adam looks over and gapes.

“y/n, this is so good! what’s your username on insta? i’ll give you a follow!”

“it’s 35mmdiary! i’ve been showing you gus her work for months now,” helene grumbled.

the dinner started and ended like that, with friendly banter from what seems to be a loving environment. jeff was definitely the father of the group. you liked everyone but harry. he hasn’t talked to you all night, just stealing some glances at your direction. helene booked you an uber and told you to text her once you’re home. you nodded and bid her good bye before riding into the car.

———

“harry, what do you think of y/n?” jeff asked once you left.

“pretty cool girl, yeah?” he commented.

“you barely looked at her! she’s quite lovely,” claire added.

“probably because he finds her cute or something,” mitch teased. “always does that! playing hard to get but really, what is there to get?”

“shut up, mitch,” he blushed. it was true. harry did sort of find tou attractive. you were so kind to everyone, taking their compliments gracefully. you got along so well with the other members and he wanted to talk to you but adam and helene hogged the conversation. perhaps he should talk to you alone, sometime?

“okay so, christmas is coming soon and once again, we will be needing to have our secret santa!” sarah said, changing the subject as harry looked like a poor fish gaping.

“should we include y/n?” adam asked.

“of course! she’s a part of our family now, even if it’s temporarily,” helene said.

“yeah and we should take you out instead...” harry teased.

“hey! that’s not nice,”

“well, she’ll be coming in tomorrow and basically everyday to accompany harry on photoshoots and to get some shots as well. we could talk to her about it tomorrow,” jeff informed. everybody nodded at that.

“gotta go back to my room, m’tired from today,” harry yawned. everybody said good night as he left tahe living room.

———

unknown to them, harry was actually looking theough your instagram. he decided to follow you once he reached his assigned room. everybody was right, you are good. he was so excited to have you as a part of the team.

harrystyles: Nice meeting you today, y/n. x

35mmdiary: hi hi!! it was nice meeting you today too :-)

harrystyles: Your works are lovely. I’m so excited to see more of your work.

35mmdiary: thanks ! i hope you like what you see so far. thanks for hiring me by the way

harrystyles: It’s quite alright! I loved what Helene showed me. I tried to get into film photography but it never worked out. So hard to figure out the settings. :(

35mmdiary: i actually started with dispposable cameras! they really helped me know what i like! i could teach you some of the stuff i know if you like. im not a pro or anything but i think there’s a few things i could teach you?

harrystyles: That sounds great! When are we doing it?

harrystyles: Can we do it tomorrow? I’m free tomorrow.

harrystyles: Only if it’s okay with you. :)

35mmdiary: yes of course ! i could meet you in the house tomorrow morning ?

harrystyles: No, it’s okay. I’ll just have someone pick you up just send me your address. I’m not a serial killer, I promise.

you gave harry your address and your number, just in case he needed it. that night, you looked for your spare disposable films while harry told jeff that you would be accompanying him tomorrow. jeff only teased harry but allowed it anyway.

———

“good morning!” you chirped as you entered the black range rover. harry smiled at you. the driver at the driver’s seat nodded at you.

“good morning, love. i got you breakfast, if it’s okay. if you don’t like it i could eat it and we could go somewhere else for breakfast,” harry rambled, offering you a brown bag. you looked into it and saw a ham and cheese croissant—your favourite sandwich.

“this will do just fine. this is my favourite sandwich,” you said as you dug into the bag to get your sandwich. “would you like some? we could share if you like,” you offered. harry shook his head no, telling you that he already ate the same sadnwich as you did.

“by the way,” you started as you swallowed the pastry. “i got some disposable cameras that you could use in my bag,”

“you shouldn’t have...” harry pouted. “i basically hogged your whole day and now you’re giving me stuff too?”

“it’s okay. i wanted to. as long as we end just in time for me and helene to say goodbye to each other,” you smiled.

“lunch is on me then! i know this place near santa monica that served the best chicken wings!” he declared. you chuckled at his etermination to get even with you. “what are we doing today, by the way?”

“well, i was thinking we could go on a classic photowalk. it’s basically just us walking and taking photos of the things we like,” you told him. “i was thinking we could take photos downtown...” you trailed off, not realizing that the paparazzi might see harry. “or somewhere else you like so we could avoid the paparazzi,”

“we’ll go downtown then!” he said, not really caring about tomorrow’s tabloids. harry liked your presence. for some reason, it made him feel at ease. he didn’t care if you’d be labelled as harry’s girlfriend tomorrow. he just wanted to have a nice afternoon walking around and taking photos that he like.

“well, for me, it’s the perfect place. if you’re into portraits, you could photograph people! if you’re into sceneries, you could do that too,” you gushed as you finished the last of your croissant. “i like sceneries and candids a lot. taking portraits is something that i’m not really good at,”

“at least you know something! i’m such a beginner,” he admitted. “drop us off here, please, thank you.” harry told the driver. the driver nodded and stopped the car. harry immediately went out, dragging tou by the hand to hide from onlookers. it’s not like he didn’t want to meet fans, he did. it was just that he’d rather be unnoticed when dealing with private matters, such as spending time with a girl whom he finds cute to gain some brownie points. he led you to an empty alley.

“you alright?” he asked. you nodded and fished out for the cameras in your bag.

“harry? here are the cameras. there are 36 shots per camera and because i brought you theee, you could do more than a hunderd. just give them back to me after you use it so i could have my friend develop them,” you breathed.

“thank you so much, y/n! you didn’t have to because i also have my own camera. just don’t know how to adjust it,” he frowned, looking down at the expensive camera hanging on his chest.

“i could take a look at it, if you like,” you offered. harry beamed at you and nodded rapidly. that day, you spent the afternoon taking photos of people living their daily lives. it was such a great day, walking downtown with cameras at hand. the day consisted of you and him talking about the most embarrassing stories you could think of when you were younger. he told you about the many times he fell onstage during his concerts, to which you laughed at, saying that you tripped on a wire once when you were photographing a gig for a local band. onlookers wouldn’t think that you were strangers at all but you didn’t mind.

that night, at the beverly hills mansion, you and the team huddled together to pick names for the small exchange gift. you left the house with a smile on your face a few hours after, really loving the group.

“alright, who picked y/n?” harry asked as soon as he walked back in from waiting outside until you left.

“why?” mitch asked. “well--” “he obviously likes her, dumbass,” adam said.

“you just met twice why would you like her immediately?” mitch asked again, clearly missing out on something. “she’s really a nice girl. besides, what’s wrong with finding her cute?” harry asked, clearly giddy about the day he spent with you. “she’s so cute especially when i told her earlier that she looked good in what she was wearing! then, she gave me these disposable cameras,” he added, showing off the cameras hanging on his wrist. “i really wanna get her something for christmas but i think it’s a little straightforward to just give her one, no?”

“what would you do for you to get her name?” sarah asked. “i’ll pay you a hundred dollars and treat you and a friend to a nice dinner,”

“i got her,” jeff said, giving the paper to harry and harry giving another piece with a different name on it. he gave jeff 300 dollars for the dinner and the monetary gift and said thank you. he smiled with his dimples showing and retired to bed.

“he’s whipped,” mitch mouthed to sarah. sarah only nodded, really finding it cute how harry found y/n cute.

-------

you’ve been photographing harry and his band for so many days now, rarely even having the time to clean your apartment, which was fine. it was always clean, only feeling like it wasn’t because harry was at your place, going over the photographs that he would be posting on his social media. you told him that you could come by the house in beverly hills but he told you to just stay at home so it would be safer. you didn’t protest but you did stress clean for a little bit.

“i really like this photo,” he pointed at your laptop. “i think mum would really like this, yeah?”

you nodded. it wasn’t your best shot but so far, it looked like it was harry’s favourite image of himself. you were done for the night and you were tired but you didn’t want harry to leave yet. you were enjoying his company and it seems as though he was feeling the same when he decided to open a new conversation.

“so, who did you pick for secret santa?” he asked as you opened your spotify christmas playlist and played it softly on the bluetooth speaker on the coffee table. “i can’t tell you that! it would ruin the whole thing,” you replied. you were perched on your couch, facing harry.

“why not? it’s not like you got me, unless you did…” he teased.

“maybe, maybe not,” you shrugged. harry pouted but started to hum to the christmas music anyway before sipping on his hot cocoa. “you know what i would love from you?”

“what?” he asked. he’s been tearing his hair for a perfect gift for you but nothing really came up. he wanted to get you a film camera but that would be too basic. “a christmas record from you! your voice is so good,” you gushed. “it would sound so great and i’m sure you’d sing christmas classics like the one paul mccartney sang,” you mused, clearly unaware of what was going through harry’s head. he finally found a perfect gift for you. “if you ever release a christmas album, hit me up immediately! i’d stream and buy the hell out of it. i’ll even wear your christmas merch,”

--------

“everyone shut up! i’m gonna record something in my room, don’t bother me,” harry breathed as soon as he arrived in the rented home. everyone’s eyebrows shot forward. they were huddled in the living room, playing uno. “okay, i’m sorry just don’t make too much noise!” he apologised. he ran to his assigned room after that, locking his door and taking out his guitar. clueless as to where he would start off, he decided to text helene.

harry styles: Helene!

Helene.: Harry !

harry styles: Do you know y/n’s favourite Christmas songs?

Helene: Not really but she’d be into classics dont you think?? Why ??

harry styles: I kinda got her for secret Santa and I don’t know what to give.

harry styles: Do you really think she’d be into the classics? Helene: Yes now stop talking to me i have to attend the dinner rehearsals why do you have to rehearse for dinner?

that night, harry set up his personal microphone, a device that he could just slip into his laptop’s usb, and sang at least three songs that he would sing with gemma whenever he was home for the holidays.

-------

it was after harry’s successful live show at the forum. you were busy capturing every moment of the tour with your camera. gina, your best friend was in the crowd too. it was your early christmas gift for her, along with a personalised video from harry like you promised. she squealed and hug you for being the ‘best best friend ever’. you laughed and received her hugs with joy. you were supposed to have a small staff-only after show party but decided not to come. you were tired and all you wanted was sleep. you told jeff about it and he nodded, hugging you and asking you if it was okay if you left alone. you nodded and wished him a good party. that night, you went home to your apartment, looking over the new photos that your friend e-mailed you so you could show them to harry the next time you see him. you took note of the pictures you liked alot.

“where’s y/n?” harry asked as soon as he greeted everyone. “oh, she left! said she felt tired and just wanted to sleep,” jeff shouted over the loud music and the loud people. the party became bigger as staff invited friends and family to come over. harry didn’t mind, he liked crowds. harry nodded at jeff, a little disappointed because he was hoping to get to you. he would be leaving for london next week for another live show and he was sure that you wouldn’t be able to come. the live show at the forum was supposed to be the big ending for the celebration of harry’s album in america. if he wouldn’t be able to see you now, he wouldn’t see you at all, probably.

--------

it was nearing 1 am when your doorbell rang. being a light sleeper, you woke up from your slumber in the couch. you must’ve fallen to sleep while finalising images you wanted to show harry next day. you fixed the coffee table a little bit then begrudgingly walking to the door, only to reveal the man who’s been keeping you busy.

“hi, y/n. may i come in?” harry asked. you nodded and opened the door wider, the cold from your air conditioning unit greeting harry.

“what are you doing here?” you asked as you and your guest settled on your couch. “well, i was at the party and i noticed you were gone so, i decided to come by. i’m sorry if it was so sudden it’s just that, i picked you for secret santa and i wanted to give you my gift before i leave for london next week,” he rambled. he the handed you a pretty christmas box.

“thank you, harry. what about your party?” you asked. “it’s fine, they’re fine. i just wanted to be here with you more.” he smiled. “go on, open it!”

you opened the box that revealed a red sweater.

“you said you wanted christmas merch, right? that you would wear it?” he asked. you nodded and unfolded the sweater to reveal a ‘harry’ sweatshirt in red. it was the one that gina wanted for so long but in the colour pink. harry’s name was embroidered on the soft red sweater in white, and his motto ‘treat people with kindness’ was embroidered on one of the sleeves in red.

“i picked out the colours and i hope you like it! it’s not from the same manufacturer but i figured you would like it,” he said. you looked deeper into the box to find a cd and a flashdrive. the cd cover was you and harry, a selfie he took using his phone when you were out having a photowalk. “you said you wanted a christmas record and here it is,” he said. you were smiling widely and thanking harry for the thoughtful gifts he got you. “i, uh, you have to listen to the songs and text me if you liked them, alright? text me as soon as you finish it.i have to go back to the party and entertain but i’d really love to hear your thoughts on the record, okay?” he asked, standing up from his seat and kissing your forehead. you nodded and watched him go outside your door, too overwhelmed with his thoughtful gift. you inserted the flashdrive in your laptop’s usb and clicked on track 1.

track 1 was harry’s rendition for paul mccartney’s wonderful christmas time--your favourite christmas song. you casually mentioned it to him once but didn’t think that he would remember. there were 8 tracks in the flashdrive, harry’s voice and guitar playing filling your apartment. you were wearing the sweater he gave you, feeling giddy at the gifts he gave you. you just finished track 7 and waited for track 8 to play when harry’s talking voice was heard from the speakers.

“hi, y/n,” he started. “well, i hope you like my gifts for you. the truth is, jeff was actually the one who picked you and i picked claire but i bribed him so i could give you this gift. truth be told, i like you. like, i’m crushing on you and if you feel the same way, i’m waiting in the parking lot. i just wanted to say this and was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date before i go back to london for the show and the holidays. wow this feels like a goddamn movie and i sort of like it. i hope you really love my gifts. i’m waiting outs--” you stopped the audio and immediately ran to the door, opening it. it revealed harry who was sitting beside the door, waiting anxiously. once he heard you go out, he stood up and smiled at you.

“silly boy! of course i’d go out on a date with you,” you said as you hugged him. he was chuckling, thanking the heavens for giving hime a wonderful christmas.

“what about when i’m in london? how would we talk then?” he asked. “we’ll make it work, yeah? see how it plays out,” you said. you felt him put his chin on the top of your head after kissing it.

it was the perfect ending to a perfect night and as the christmas lights surround you with your wreath hung on your door, you both wished for this christmas miracle to last.

-----

im soff

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