#I like that Eli doesn’t give up on him despite everything

[firephoenix23]

I like that Eli still tries to talk to Twist even after he helped Blakk kill the Unbeatable Master. He still has so much hope for him

[crispy-dib]

Tell me everything about your oc NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha jk, ,,,,,, unless ?

Because tumblr was mean and kicked me out here’s an image of the first lil blurb I wrote

CONTINUING ON THOUGH!

Currently Eli’s main trials is 1 of his very own and 2 MK events (will elaborate further later), but in events where multiple PA’s can be in the same area (like Prime Time, any other events like that in the past I may have missed due to just getting the game recently lol) he will automatically be placed alongside Franco Barbi - typically in The Docks, but he has attended The Fun Park a few times. He is never found in The Orphanage or The Police Station.

As for Eli’s actual past? What brought him to Project Lathe? It’s a long story.

Let’s go back to the very beginning.

Eli, as he’s known, is a multidimensional being that I created in order to have a baseline sona for fictional universes. He started back in 2022 as a Sonic OC, and has just grown ever since.

He was born from a quasar and searches the multiverse for companionship and to study life on planets.

His consciousness splits upon every universe (meaning that only this version of it is present in the universe).

Only one can exist per dimension, so there is only one Elisheva for every fictional world.

and this is where we bring it back to Outlast.

Upon traversing to this world in New York, Elisheva finds he can’t achieve his regular form. He’s human in this world, against his will. Spoiler alert! that’s due to Murkoff fuckery.

For reference: Eli is usually in the appearance of an anthropomorphic rabbit because again, thats how he began (a sonic oc.) Tosses these at ya!

He attempts to live a normal life in the Outlast world, despite being SO out of his element. This doesn’t really go well.

Being a human version of himself, and in the 1930s-50s where he grows up in New York…things aren’t…great.

Firstly those scars? Those aren’t there. He grows into “a woman”. With all the societal pressures of being an adult in the 50s, he has to perform femininity to an incredulous degree. Or, he should.

He refuses. Living as himself rather than the fraudulent woman people around him wishes him to be. What used to be friends are now enemies, and the world begins to crumble beneath him.

On top of that, I give him my epilepsy in EVERY world, so he’s super fucked in that stance. ADA didn’t pass until the 1990s, and there was no goddamn way people would accommodate for him.

Slowly being stripped of his personhood, he loses himself. And if he can’t look the way he truly is, and if he cannot be helped without death, then death it shall be.

He begins an impressive murder spree, the mask fused to his face being the flesh of his victims. The only reason Clyde Perry isn’t harmed from attempting to find him is because Elisheva already almost took himself out.

Clyde finds him half dead bleeding from…it’d be easier to name where he WASN’T bleeding from, but the most shocking part to many was his chest. He lopped parts of it off (an actually written moment of my own intrusive/impulsive thoughts if I had no restraint)

So Eli is taken to Sinyala without much of a hitch and slight reconstruction on his breasts, arms, legs- really everywhere but his face, which, of course, now bore the mask.

^ A transcription of an interview :)

He’s named Project Patchwork after the mask and Patchwork Rabbit for the same reason.

I and others have this headcanon of The Prime Assets having their own holding rooms at Sinyala - and I know it’s cliché, but at first Eli is held WITH Franco in an effort to calm the both of them. Franco needs a Mommy and Eli needs a damn friend. I’m not sure if I do want them to separate their rooms, but if they ever do it’ll just add more interesting things to their dynamic. They will EVENTUALLY become an item, but it takes a very long time.

Eli’s Trial is called “Reform the Formless”, and it takes place on The Campsite.

His MK Challenges are “Evacuate The Grounds” and “Drown the Counselor”

RTF has tasks that builds to you eventually rushing out with mannequin “children” and putting them into a cart, pushing them to safety. Eli will try to protect these children. This is a 45 minute trial.

“Taking away the bonds that which the cow has with her calf is how we create more cows. More milk. More money. Take these lost cows from their mother. Take them. Reform them. And we will let you out.”

ETG is a shorter version, where you pretty much only take the kids out, versus everything else in the made up trial (which includes gaining access to the grounds through summer camp-like quests) this is a 15 minute trial.

DTC is actually a lot like Vindicate The Guilty or Cleanse The Orphans in the sense of ya need keys to activate a thing to kill a man. This time its boat keys and a “dunk the ___” minigame to complete the trial. 15 minute trial

Eli tends to kill using only his teeth and nails as well as general brute force. He can also pick up things like bricks and bottles to throw at you, but he much prefers the former.

Uhh that’s all I have. If you read this far I’m giving you a kiss on the forehead and hugs (with consent of course)

[ofsappho]

Hello! So I enjoyed the new treehouse chapter but I feel like I didn't understand the reader's mentality during the whole thing.

So in the last chapter, she just simply collapsed on the field because she was tired, both physically and mentally.

Then when she wakes up, she wakes up running to try to leave the dreaming.

Then she's also super furious with Morpheus during the whole romp in the woods, but still sleeps with him, nonetheless.

I thought that it would have been at least another chapter or two before she let him even get within three feet of her.

So I was wondering if you could expand a bit more on what the reader's current mental and what she's thinking and feeling currently, please?

And I'm not trying to be rude in any way. Just trying to understand her position a bit better. Thank you!

Hi! Thanks for reading! I don’t mind explaining, hopefully this makes sense.

So after she kills the guy holding Morpheus captive, Morpheus lies to get her close to him so he can kidnap her into the Dreaming. She is very upset by this, naturally, but she loves him as much as she hates him. That complexity of loving someone despite them hurting you and you resenting them, but also resenting yourself for still having feelings, but also not wanting anything to happen to your love, is what I’m exploring for Reader.

Not only is she a survivor who is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure her freedom, she is also not afraid of violence and vengeance. (And after killing that guy, she’s in a very violent state of mind.) Morpheus might be someone she doesn’t like very much right now, but he’s hers.

Her mother took her childhood from her. Eli, her abuser/former teacher/groomer/rapist, took tons of stuff from her as well.

While she “hates” him, she wants to punish him, she wants him to suffer, she still loves him and doesn’t want anyone else to hurt him or for him to truly leave.

As soon as she takes a much needed breather/rest, her survival instincts kick in. The Dreaming, and particularly this palace, that bed chamber, which Morpheus made for her, are *his territory*. He created everything. His influence touches everything.

While Morpheus is *not* abusive, Eli, the man who groomed and abused her, would have done something similar in isolating Reader from her friends and forcing her to be in his house, not have anything of her own, have her completely rely on him.

She is now critically aware of exactly how much power Dream holds over her and that scares the shit out of her. But she also loves him despite that fear and she *knows him*. She knows that he wasn’t really trying to hurt her, even though he did.

And even though she knows that she won’t get into the Waking, the idea behind running is to equalize the power dynamic and make him go after her.

If he’s chasing her, if he’s trying to persuade her to stay while she refuses him repeatedly, that’s time/effort/energy he is NOT spending on anything other than her.

While they addressed many things in their first convo after his identity was revealed, they both agreed to not address his past romantic history so as not to overwhelm her.

For men with incomprehensible power, for gods/kings/sultans/emperors, there is no shortage of people who will say “yes”. Desire told her that Morpheus has had lovers before but they were ultimately disposable. Goddesses, stars, queens. They had more power and beauty and immortality than Reader, but that still wasn’t enough for Morpheus because he refused to compromise on anything and they were the ones who had to sacrifice everything. Of course, they didn’t want to do that. Morpheus saw himself as above being a partner who gives in the same way he takes.

We know that in canon, Morpheus refused to compromise with Alex Burgess, with his siblings by potentially asking for help, and stayed in captivity far longer than necessary because he saw compromise/asking for help as weak and beneath him.

But Reader knows him. And she knows that when he hid his identity from her, he was holding all the power in the dynamic by keeping it a secret and keeping her from understanding the truth of their relationship, which would’ve allowed her to make an educated decision about being with him.

So the whole smut scene of chapter 29 is really her asking him, “are you willing to debase yourself for me?” “Are you willing to keep trying for eternity if I say no for eternity, because you’re that in love and you don’t care how foolish/pathetic you look?” “Would you still want me if I was as cruel to you as you were to me?” ��Are you willing to give up your power in our relationship just to keep me?” “I am not always a good person. I do bad things. I have bad impulses in my soul. Do you still want me now that you can’t put me on a pedestal?” “I am a regular mortal - will you do for me what you couldn’t lower your pride enough to do for calliope/nada/alianora/killala?”

(It’s not that she is more deserving of a healthy relationship than any of his past lovers/wives. It’s asking him if he’s developed enough and grown enough to have a healthy relationship)

These are questions that I realized had to be answered between these characters if there was even a hope of reconciliation between them in the fic.

Morpheus has tried sweet words. But she knows, more than anything, how words can be nothing. And she doesn’t trust his words right now. So sex is how he’s able to communicate with her because it’s real, it’s physical, she doesn’t need to guess if he’s lying.

And his answer to all of those questions is a wholehearted, enthusiastic, besotted “yes”

I hope this breakdown wasn’t too rambling and answers your question!

[midnight-in-town]

Choujin X ch33.2 be like

Azuma keeps on learning the hard way that he’s not the hero of Tokio’s story anymore

“if I can’t have the power, then at least Tokio should get it”

Bless Ely, this girl is the absolute soul of this story

oh Tokio, my sweet, very sweet, summer child (poor boy can’t take on the heat of the hero trope)

okay so yeah we definitely don’t stan a goddess cult leader who forces her “prophecies” on a whim onto people around her

finally, i have my doubts about how long that trio of theirs can keep on working half decently without Azuma someone eventually leaving but…

i do enjoy them, they’re cute xD

TL;DR

(additional thoughts on the series overall under read more)

So by ch33 or so, we finally understand the premises of this manga. Slow built-up stories usually don’t bother me, but with the rather shallow depiction of worldbuilding so far, the Choujin X series really mostly has the cast holding the spotlight. And by that, I mean the main characters. So I hope it’ll pick up, because I don’t really understand how this series currently gets a full serialization?

Honestly, I really enjoy the rather strained dynamic between Azuma (who lacks self control) and Tokio (who can’t seem to give it his all) and, as a mirror, the more trusting and complementary dynamic between Tokio and Ely. The dynamic between Ely and Azuma revolves more around Tokio than either of them, but it’s slowly developing on its own terms, which creates a nice contrast between them. 

Ely is an absolute ray of sunshine, who seems more sure of her goals only because she lives with the bad example of her mother as a constant reminder of who she might become, whereas Tokio was sheltered so far by his sister and Azuma and has trouble deciding on how he should live his life. Azuma’s more in a blind corner, because he can’t seem to let go of his knight in shining armor role that he and Tokio bestowed upon him when they were kids: I’d say it’s Expectations™ that would eventually do the most damage on him, but he might still manage to change paths in time. :)

However, the rest of the cast isn’t particularly interesting or well written.

Kagomura’s tragic backstory and Momoma’s obvious kindness are too cliché and don’t cut it for me, though I’d say it’s interesting that Kagomura’s predicament doesn’t put him more at the center of the story. 

Sandek is boring as hell despite supposedly being some kind of mentor and leader figure. 

I enjoy Ichiro’s character, though it’s interesting that he’s not more morally ambiguous considering the emotional strain his choujin powers should put on him. 

As for the villains, the guy in the noh mask is creepy, but for now they’re all nothing more than cultists who believe in the “prophecies” of a mad woman, or mercenaries who get paid for the job. 

Biggest issue with this series and why, in my opinion, it doesn’t get a lot of hype is the lack of worldbuilding. While we now understand the first chapter of the series thanks to the latest released chapter, Choujin themselves and their related powers are still a huge question mark ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This is most likely because the pace is slow and we have two or three worldbuilding elements which make barely any sense. Specifically, it’s an issue because, without worlbuilding, it’s impossible to replace everything that happens within context. 

If Sensei were to spend a little more thoughts on the worldbuilding, I don’t doubt that this series could become more interesting than it currently is. I don’t know how well it’s received by Japanese readers but, if I’m honest, Ishida-sensei’s previous success with TG is probably the reason why Choujin X has a continued serialization, because I find that on every aspects, aside from the main characters, Choujin X unfortunately doesn’t stand strongly. :/

Soooo, to be continued.

[bonesandthebees]

Also, I really love the Tattoo! I knew the Shrike convo was going to come back, but the two heads!!! It’s foreshadowed in the damn chapter title. It’s so cool! It’s the way Wilbur decides himself based on headspace. It’s 1 person in the same badly so confused he has to compartalise himself, so we get two heads and one body.

Also, it’s really well described. I can picture the entire thing in my head. Though it’s mirror in my head because I read left and my brain just went right! And I’m not going to bother mentally turning it around since it doesn’t really make a difference. Same with the blueprint btw! Everything is relatively the same as in my heads but mirrored. (It’s a dyslexia thing, the amount of times I’ve said left with full confidence and pointed right is ridiculous.) other small details, in my head Kristin’ statue was in the middle of the main cave; the cafeteria somehow connected to the star room directly even though it’s been mentioned there’s a hallway a lot and I didn’t realise there was so much space between al the different rooms. It was very nice to see an official blue print though, but it shows your descriptions are really good.

Anyway, back to the tattoo. So obviously one half is Wilbur and the other the Pythia. And Niki clearly sees it as Wilbur killing the Pythia and trying to free himself of it and fly off. Though I feel like unless one bird is somehow ripping itself out of the other I don’t think they can actually be separated. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s more about the fact that being the Pythia is hurting him, but he’s overcoming it. There’s a lot of possible interpretations and the symbolism is very nice.

Either way, I have a feeling Wilbur isn’t fully at Niki’s intended meaning yet. Which is fine, it’s his tattoo, he can give it whatever meaning he wants. But from what I understand, Wilbur feels like he (Wilbur) is the one getting impaled rather than the Pythia. The bird in his chest has been impaling him which is why he asks to change it to a rib. There’s also the imprecation that being the Pythia has killed him (Wilbur) and he should be dead, but he’s not (the bird’s eye is still open).

There’s a lot of options and I’m having a fun time okay. There’s also many theories and some I was going to throw out or have already thrown out (I can’ remeber), but I’ve definite seen other anons throw them out and it’s not really full confirmation (because we’ll never get that when it comes to Clara), but it feels like a lot of arrows being pointed.

Anyway, have fun at Lovejoy Bee! Thanks for the fun chapter and a chance to catch up and get all my thoughts out.

- 🌲

YEAHHH I'm so happy with how the tattoo design description came out. again shoutout to eli for helping me come up with it. I think the two-headed bird describes glass!wilbur's struggle sooooo well

lmao if your mental image is a bit flipped that's fine it's not like it matters as long as you have the general layout so you know what's going on when I describe stuff

eh honestly the cafeteria could be directly connected to the starry room and it wouldn't change anything. like no that's not exactly how i pictured it but again if your mental image is a bit different than mine it's fine

I love hearing everyones different interpretations of the tattoo. maybe they can't separate without killing each other. maybe they can. who knows? maybe it's a piece of wilbur he's never going to be able to fully leave behind despite how much he wants to.

not gonna say anything more than that though like I said I want you all to have your own interpretations. very interesting theories for sure!!

[elijahkelly]

6/30/2023

I don’t know.

It’s been 3 days since I took my Prozac and I’m starting to be able to tell.  Champagne (my cat) was scratching at my door and it made me mad so I threw my tv remote across the room.  I regretted it as soon as the remote left my fingers.  Thankfully it just hit the wall, but I was embarrassed that I got so angry.

Dylan.  Where do I start?  I guess I’ll start by saying this.

I’m scared to admit that it feels like there are cracks in our relationship, because it feels like once you acknowledge those cracks, that’s when everything collapses.  But I’m seeing the cracks.  And they’re fissuring.

Dylan has lost trust in me.  He’s constantly on my case about what I’m doing on my phone, who I’m talking to, etc.  He sees a name on my phone that he doesn’t recognize and suddenly I’m being bombarded about who it is and where they’re from.  He makes jokes about me having hoes in my phone, despite how much I tell him it makes me uncomfortable.

Dylan literally went from wanting to propose to me in LA to going through my phone while I’m sleeping and running background checks on everyone I talk to.  What’s going on?

Before I talk about this next part, I need to give some backstory about a character.  His name is Brennan.  Brennan is a fellow gay, and he got a job at Sanderson a few months after I did.  He worked the front desk with me and Dylan, and over that time, he and Dylan became friends.  His abrasive personality and crude humor wasn’t appealing to me, so we’re “friends” I guess? But not as close as he and Dylan are.  Eventually, Brennan quit his job at the front desk and transitioned over to working in our fitness department as a spin instructor.  Dylan trained him to teach spin, and he went on to become Dylan’s boss in the department, which gave them something else to bond over.  During shifts where I was the manager on duty and Dylan was working with me, Brennan would come up to the front desk to bother us.  By “bother us,” I mean he would come over and talk to Dylan, mess around with Dylan, make jokes with Dylan, beat up on Dylan, make tiktoks with Dylan, you name it.  All while I’m sitting there, just watching.  I’ve told Dylan on multiple occasions that I am not Brennan’s biggest fan, but for some reason Dylan keeps him around.

Last night.  Dylan and I went with some friends to a bingo night hosted by Trinity Devine, a drag queen and friend of ours.  While we were there, Brennan showed up.  He was already pretty drunk, and he brought the guy he had been seeing.  He came and said hi to everyone at our table, of course not forgetting to give Dylan a big hug.  Then he got around to me and I was waiting on him to say hi to me, when he goes “are you just gonna pretend you don’t like me, Eli?”  I really wanted to tell him I’m not pretending, but I just played it off.  Anyways, throughout the night, he progressively got more drunk.  He kept coming up and hugging on Dylan, play wrestling with him, tickling him, etc.  All while I’m sitting right there and the guy he brought was at the next table over.  I made eye contact with Sav and she just widened her eyes at me, kinda like a “what the fuck is going on” look.  It was uncomfortable.

I don’t know what’s going on with me and Dylan.  I don’t know why we’re suddenly so hellbent on hurting each other.  I want to go back to when we were good and everything felt okay.  Because this does not feel okay.

Hopefully things will change soon.  Dylan got a GA position for Housing, and this position requires him to stay in a building on campus.  So in a couple weeks, he’ll be moving out of my apartment.  It’ll be sad not seeing him all the time, but I think that’s why we’ve been so toxic to one another.  Not to mention he will also have to leave his job at Sanderson, so we won’t work together anymore either.  Having some time apart will be much needed.  Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Let me set this straight.  I love Dylan with my entire capacity.  Nothing in this goddamn world is gonna take him away from me except for Death themselves.  Relationships are not perfect, not even the best ones.  Dylan is my best friend and he will be in my life for the rest of it if I can help it.  We’re allowed to have cracks, we’re allowed to struggle, we’re allowed to have our moments.  There is purity and love between us that can’t be stifled.  No relationship is perfect.  Relationships are fabricated for media to look perfect but that isn’t real.  Real relationships have grit, stakes, growth, disputes, mistakes, trials, and change.

We will be okay.

We can get through this.

[overnightheartbeats]

"Hm, in that case, I might be here a while." Reading between the lines, Isaac was telling him he'd be here, for him, for a while. Who cares about Texas? The heat was insane, sure, but he'd endure it. That was the least of his problems. "Don't let your jealousy show, I have saved all my dances for you," he said with a chuckle. Despite everything happening right now, he had missed this ridiculousness.

Isaac was expecting resistance, to hear fifty different versions of 'i'm fine' but instead he was met with the opposite. It was better, but still unexpected. Here he was, gearing up with reasons to his reasons, ready to say as soon as he finished speaking. He was in uncharted territory, the situation was foreign to him, so he was really just making educated guesses based on how well he knew his friend. Giving his feelings space was probably the last thing there, prioritizing her instead. Isaac understood that to some level, but he couldn't accept that Eli was keeping everything to himself. Not for something like this. "I was wondering if you'd notice, been working out," he offered with a wink. Their friendship was certainly close, the kind that could raise an eyebrow or two if they heard them in public. Others in their life didn't bat an eye, accustomed to their long list of shenanigans. It was always entertaining for Isaac though, keeping this commodity between them. Earlier, he noticed that he may need to have this conversation through banter. Odd, but doable he supposed. "My broad shoulders are all yours, that's what I'm here for."

Another laugh came from him, shaking his head at his own idea. He should’ve known, a suggestion was never just that with Eli. Now, he had to deliver, and he would. “Why am I not surprised? You want the fancy font and shit too? Hm, I could do four course, killer dessert too.” Leave it to him to overpromise. His eye roll amused Isaac, expected. He could be cagey about his work, preferring to keep part of his life separate. And sure, he knew they worked in adjacent fields, but he didn’t meet Eli through work. So, out of habit, work was pushed to the side. He shrugged in response, he was a bit overconfident. He’ll give him that, his counselor had also pointed that out at some point. “Modesty doesn’t get you the girl.” Then again, his current approach had clearly not been too successful. But, a topic for another time. “Unheard of, but not impossible. Maybe I’ll even out my tan and what not. Might even grow fond of Texas, visit more often. Glad to be here man, it’s been too long.”

Plans were coming together, and as Eli confirmed that his girlfriend wasn’t home and it wasn’t good for her to be here, Isaac nodded. Probably also wasn’t good for him to be here. On his own too. There was a momentary sparkle in his eyes, blink and you miss the glimpse of his friend’s old happiness. “Let’s skip on dinner here tonight then. We can get you a..not so healthy meal at the bar, and yep I’ll get started on my summer drinks.” Not really. He wasn’t a big drinker, but he’d push the plan to go out, just to get Eli out of here for a bit. Isaac couldn’t help the brief smile on his lips at the mention of their other friend. “Of course I remember her. She still single?” Not the appropriate question, but he was curious. “Got it though. Well, glad I didn’t come in to disrupt her peace, and hey - that means guy’s night for us.” But his lighthearted comments didn’t last long as Eli continued. In between their banter, he couldn’t forget the tragedy. It was still too recent, and the fact that Eli stood together now did scare him a bit, unsure when he’d crash. He followed his gaze to the room, probably the place the nursery they planned. The thought was heartbreaking. He figured he wouldn’t agree, and he’d want to stay busy, but it was worth a shot. To offer doing it on his own. “Right, yeah it’s not the best place to be. I could do it, I’ll take care of taking things out. You don’t have to walk back in there.” Now, that the bar plan was brought up, home cooked meal would be postponed for another time. “Probably not before your hunger kicks in. I’ll take it out though, let it defrost, and I’ll add chicken Alfredo to the menu.” While he spoke, he turned to the freezer and searched for the poultry, dropping it in the kitchen sink. “Okay you planning on going like that or want to get changed?”

"You can count on it. Texas grows on you the more you're here. The heat becomes even more of an unbearable bitch but you get used to it." he stated. Texas had become home as soon as he found Laurel or rather she found him. He found himself chuckling and licked his lips. "You do perform better with an audience. Don't give away all your secrets."

In an attempt to say no he was fine and didn't need someone to lean on like she did, his eyes gave him away. While, yes he had her, he couldn't tell her how he felt. Emotions were still raw and he knew that stating his piece would do more harm than good. So, he kept it in but Issac being here now made a world of difference. Who better to get him through this than the one that knew him better than he did himself and scarily so at that. "I guess you're right. I'll give you that. I could use your broad shoulders to lean on. They're sturdy." Again, Issac brought out the quick banter within him. He felt like the shield could drop and Eli could be a real person. They wouldn't be who they were if they didn't constantly blur the line. Lucky for both, Laurel understood their friendship. "We'll see how hilarious you are. Don't choke."

"I'll hold you to that. I would love little menus. Is this you talking a four course meal?" he asked, already loving the direction of the conversation. This, he could handle. Listening to his reasons why he was given a vacation he hummed, and eye roll quickly following. "Modesty sure didn't skip you." But, it was in fact true. Issac was pretty much everyone's dream boat with those beady eyes and killer cheekbones. "You enjoying sun is unheard of. Texas is gonna get you even if you stick to the shadows." Eli knew all about missions going longer than expected. "For what its worth, glad you're back and at my home."

The laugh at the mention of piña coladas made his eyes sparkle for a brief moment. "There's a happy hour bar two blocks from here. I'll take you. Can eat while you drink that refreshing summer in a glass." He sighed as he felt the tap and followed him over. It wasn't chores necessarily he was trying to do. The room that they coverted into the would be playroom was still in tact like it was waiting on its guest. Now it just felt like the heaviest room in their house. Shaking his head he cleared his throat as he sat on the island chair and played with his hands. "She's with Jolie, remember her? You thought she was hot. She didn't want to be here so jolie took her. She'll be back in a few days. Figured it'd do her better than staying here staring at the walls. She'd been in the uh..." he gestured toward the room and shrugged. "Everyday since and I don't think it did any good. I have to take things out but haven't been able to walk in there yet." The topic of food made him turn his gaze and smiled. "That sounds good. Let's go with the chicken Alfredo. There's chicken in the freezer. Think it'll defrost in time?"

[danoscigarette]

Eli Sunday x f!Reader

Chapter II - My Mind holds the Key

Summary: The Reader and her family attend one of Eli’s sermons, its intense as you can imagine but what the Reader doesn’t know is how intense it actually can get.

Warnings: misogyny, violence, extreme religious practice and erotic thoughts! 18+

A/N: Well this chapter is a bit of a journey! Though I am excited to release chapter 3 😌

Yet another mostly sleepless night, your eyes fixated to the ceiling, feeling your body sink into the hard bed; the dinner party still very much on your mind. Not that you were a proud woman, but you were humiliated in front of strangers. You weren't one to care about what people thought of you, but you at least tried to behave. Your frustration kept you up all night, tossing and turning until giving up completely; the face of that bastard pastor flashed before you and you had no understanding as to why. 

You weren't the only one who had stayed up all night. Eli Sunday, despite having a sermon in the morning had laid in his bed, open eyed and staring into the void; the dinner party also being on his mind. Though he hadn't of seen the full extent of your nature, he knew by the tone in your mothers voice that you were a force not to be reckoned with; this greatly excited him. He took notice of every facial expression, every slight movement of yours whilst talking amongst your families; there was something great within you that was threatening to be unleashed. 

Such little contact and he already assumed everything about you and yet, he wanted to know more. If you were indeed "hesitant of the religion", it was his goal to enforce it onto you. Eli had convinced himself that it was to save your damned soul, but in reality, he took thrill of the challenge. The thought of breaking you, moulding you and lifting your soul to the Heavenly Father was almost... euphoric. Eli drew a plan for his service in the morning - he was sure to bring you into the light. 

-

8am sharp, your family had left for the church wearing their Sunday best. Even though you had barely slept a wink, you were running on pure adrenaline alone. The sun a deathly laser on your bodies as you were practically dragged to the service, saw to by Joe who had given you a warning to be on your best behaviour. He wasn't going to put up with your bullshit, he had at least granted you space leading up to this point but now you have to 'put on your big girl shoes' and suck it up. 

As much as you tried to get out of it, Joe had a firm grip on your arm as you walked into the Chruch - it was a rickety old thing that was barely standing. It wasn't much of a church, just a shack with some religious imagery inside. You couldn't quite believe how many people it fit - it was almost like an optical illusion - a small building fitting as many as 30 or so people inside. Taking your seats, you notice Eli preparing his sermon, he looked rather proud in doing so. It sickened you. 

His eyes glance up to see your family enter, a smile spread across his face when he finally saw you. It sent shivers down your spine, 'the fuck is he looking at?' You thought. 

The service was long and…eventful. Not only did Eli claim to heal, but he did it with such theatrics it almost felt like a circus performance. It both amused and astonished you that the crowd, including your family, ate it all up. They stared, yelled and cheered in awe for this charlatan who screamed insanely at the sick and elderly; You couldn’t lie though, his energy was entertaining and it took a lot of passion to be able to perform like this. 

You didn’t exactly feel the Holy Spirit, more so baffled at the whole show; the energy that flowed in that humble church was immense and rowdy - not even your family had acted so feverishly in church before. Admittedly, you almost got indoctrinated to joining in with the rabble, the temptation to participate was strong; but your will was stronger. All the while you kept your head high, deep breaths and a look of stubbornness on your face; this frustrated Eli to no end. You dug your heels into the ground as he poured his heart and soul into his speeches and his whimsical healing; the more you denied the more he soared. You were a tough egg to crack, but it never stunted Eli’s determination to bring you round. 

At one point Eli had turned to your family in particular. 

“My friends, I believe I can sense distraught in your lives. A darkness that corrupts and spreads like a sickness” his hand waves over you for a moment too long. You furrow a brow at him, insulated by this insinuation. 

“Yes!” Your mother threw herself forward and took hold of his hands. “My daughter, she is sick” 

‘HUH?’ you scowled at your mother and Eli, both looking at you in panic and concern. This hysteria had gone on quite long enough. As you were about to leave, Eli takes hold of your hand; he is extremely sweaty and you took great discomfort in touching it. 

“Is it true you are sick Y/N?” His eyes pleaded to you, face red, and looking as though he was about to weep. You don’t answer, your face written with great confusion and irritation. You turn to your ma for answers, the whole room stares and almost weeps with the pastor, your mother included. 

“She has lost faith Eli!” Her voice cracks, she had allowed years of built up sorrow to break lose finally; dare you say it even broke your heart to see her this way; because of you. 

“Y/N has lost faith, please help her!” your sisters added with a wail, the crowd boo, hiss and moan at these words. What mental institute did you fall into? 

“Then it is with great power that I draw upon the will of God above and bless you my child!” Eli sweeps you down into his embrace, he is on his knees, an arm rests under your back whilst the rest of your body lays on the ground - your head mere inches away from the floor, the pastor cradles it with one hand whilst the other either draws crosses in the air or palming at your forehead. Being more than a little star struck and sensorily overwhelmed you watch as if taking a backseat in your mind, observing what played out before you rather than being physically present; your eyes purely remained on Eli’s strained face. The crowd, including your family had looked upon you in desperation, crying out to you to believe. 

Your ears begin to ring, your heart beats at a thousand miles per minute as you were screamed at by the pastor. 

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” Eli spouted, using quotes directly from the Bible to justify his means of causing distress. His grip on you was tight, rough and intense; never had you been man handled like this before; sure, you had taken a beating by your father when he was alive but never this. The noise begins to blur, all you could sense was one hand behind your head, entwined fingers in your hair, your bodies close together and heaving with occasionally another hand caressing your face or forehead, tracing you with his fingers; it was deeply intimate. 

Such a bizarre occurrence, you had believed so deeply that you would never experience a spiritual awakening and yet there you were, in the arms of a man, screaming at you and surrounded by yelling strangers. Here you found yourself in the most twisted and darkest parts of your psyche - you were aroused. 

This realisation was followed by grave, dire shame. You had felt arousal before, like most people, especially during puberty but this…this was something else. All eyes on you, pleading to the Lord to save your damned soul whilst being touched so desperately by a holy man. 

Although lost in thought, you eventually woke yourself when realising you had completely stopped breathing. You manage to ascend and slip away from Eli’s grip. Shaking, you watch him rise and tower above you; this was the first time you felt this way about a man. Abel, his father was right; he was good. 

“What doth the lady say? May God’s love flow through you and speak to us now and tell us your revelation!” Eli holds his hands either side of your head, your eyes never leaving his. You wanted his hands to remain there, this simple touch had you breathless and bewildered; you couldn’t hear anything other than him, couldn’t feel anything other than him. 

“I…” you couldn’t quite get the words out, you were too afraid; a war inside your mind conflicted with the ideas to submit and other to be defiant. The combination of heat, noise and madness took you, finally your body gave in and fainted. ‘Twas lucky that Eli had been so close as he caught you mid fall, taking this as a sign of God, the fruits of his labour. 

-

You stayed in your room once again for 2 days straight, barely a word to anyone. Your family weren’t sure how to address what happened in Church on Sunday; they would occasionally leave a kind word or two and left food outside your door. Needless to say, you were traumatised by the whole ordeal; had mania taken over this town so easily by the pastor? 

“What…what was that?” You spoke out loud, head still buzzing days later. After your fainting accident, you found yourself in your bed an hour or so after going under, the only people by your side were your sisters who took care of you. 

Across the land Eli had indeed lost sleep over the incident. It wasn’t unusual for him to get carried away with his followers but you were different. The way you clung to his arm so helplessly, your face of utter perplexity drove something mad within him. He needed to see that face again, it had to be you. The first night after the service Eli had stayed in the church, looking up at the cross he cursed his thoughts of you - he was a man of God and yet there you were; the potential to being his greatest achievement. Words of what you and your mother said during the dinner party stayed with him, the desire to ‘tame’ you was at the forefront of his mind. 

Eli sobbed before the cross for his sinful ideas and imagery, all the while fisting at his cock with a handkerchief. You felt incredible underneath him, submissive and trembling. That feeling flowed through his veins, consuming his waking mind; it was more than a want, it was a need to feel that once more. 

-

After a few hours of trying, Violet and Liz succeeded in convincing you to join them for dinner. It was a difficult task for them, but they managed it anyway. Your eyes remained to the floor, if you had met your mothers of Joe’s gaze you would surely flip your shit; though you weren’t sure whether it would be out of anger or confusion. 

The table was silent, the atmosphere thick with awkwardness, the only noise came from your step-father who was chewing a little too loudly that the others; his eyes bore into you the entire time. You could tell he wanted to say something, question you on your beliefs. Not so long ago would you argue and debate but now, you were a shell of what you once were. Barely even a week in Little Boston and you had succumbed to its environment. 

“So. Y/N, how do you feel?” 

You didn’t answer, you couldn’t. Feeling a hand reach for your thigh, you look up to see Violet give you a sympathetic face. You nodded and cleared your throat. 

“Better today”

“No. I mean how do you feel about…” Joe pointed to the sky, alluding to God. 

“Joe honey-” Your mother tries to jump in to save you but Joe raises a hand to hush her. 

“What a mighty fine service Sunday was. Did you feel our Lord breath new life into yer?” 

You slowly and hesitantly shook your head, the slither of your former self still present and stubborn. Joe was displeased at this, banging his fork on the table and startling everyone. Even Mark and Jason, two usually rowdy men had buckled under Joe’s harsh actions. 

“God damn it girl, what will pull you through?” Joe’s voice is darker now, you could sense the rage that was building up. 

“Perhaps nothing” you whisper, none of your family could hear it, this only pressed at joe further. 

“Speak up woman!” You snarled. 

“I said, perhaps nothing. Joseph” You spat back at him, and that was it. Joe had thrown his plate to the side, taking the table cloth with it and stormed to your chair, pulling you by the neck and slamming you against the wall. He hate being called Joseph and you knew it. 

“Joe! JESUS CHRIST!” Your mother ran to save you, both of your brother-in-laws held her back. 

“Now listen to me hear you little whore, you are either going to respect the word of our lord and by extension our family or you are never gunna see the light of day, do I make myself clear?” 

Before he could hurt you further, you kick Joe in his groin and bolted for the front door. It took a moment or two for Joe to gain his strength and he tackles you to the floor. 

“Oh you wanna play dirty huh? Just because you’re a little girl doesn’t mean your hide won’t get a beatin’” your step father throws in a punch or two before pulling you up by the collar and slamming you against the wall once more. 

"You have gotten on my last nerve you bitch" Joe shouted in your face - you wince at his harsh words. "You are going to the church and you WILL be baptised"

"Stop it Joe, stop it! She's already baptised" You mother shrieks, tears streaming down her face as she attempts to pull you away from him. 

"An' she'll be baptised again!" He throws you to the floor before leaving out of the door. 

"Where are you goin?" You hear your mother yell, chasing after the bastard. 

"I’ve had quite enough of this bullshit, I’m off for a little chat with our pastor, he’ll see it done that our daughter finds God so she can finally leave our family in PEACE" Joe spits, his stride never faltering. You were left curled on the floor, coughing and sobbing - your sisters Vi and Liz run to your side in an embrace. You were trapped here, Little Boston was your prison and you wanted to die. 

Your mother continued following Joe, his step was fast and full of determination - the man was on a mission to fix you once and for all. Reaching the Sunday's property, he knocks aggressively on their door. 

"H-Hello?" Abel answers timidly, opening the door with hesitation. 

"Abel I need to speak to your son Eli" Joe demands, Abel reluctantly lets him in. Seeing Eli sat by the fire, Joe rushes towards him followed by your out of breath mother. 

"Can I help you sir?" Eli asks, unsure as to whatever the matter was with Joe; but for some reason he assumed it was your doing. 

"Yeah you can. You're a healer right?"

"Why yes I am" Eli takes a cautious stand

"It's my step-daughter Y/N...she needs discipline, divine discipline and I need you to fix her. You were so close on Sunday, I need you to do that again" 

"I will do the best I can, I know her transgressions have troubled you-" 

Joe didn’t let Eli finish, he came mere inches away from his face and his fists clenched so tightly they shook. 

"Eli, I want you to put the fear of god in that woman"

And so the plans were set in motion. You were to see Eli for a service on Friday and you had no choice in the matter but to attend. It was understood that you were to be given a private, emergency baptism and a ‘spiritual beating’ as Joe described it. Your mother and sisters were less than pleased but unfortunately saw it as a cruel necessity; if you were to survive in Little Boston, you were to adapt and adhere to the town’s customs - even if it meant losing who you are as a person. 

The prospect terrified you. 

[owlpartytime]

Days of Thranto Past Appreciation Post Day 3

Rather than writing new this Thrantovember, I am featuring the works of others that I love. Most of these are probably well known already, but it's always someone's first time seeing a fic! Rules were: 1. Story must be completed, and 2. Thranto must be the primary focus of the story. I'm featuring 3 a day (because I couldn't cut the list down) at random - I'd love to hear your thoughts on the selections (and please give the authors some love, too!)

Today's features:

Of Estuaries by cordage

Eli jerked in fright as its head shot up, a gleam in its eyes. It gently raised a hand covered in blood and flecks of viscera to the middle of its chest, telegraphing every movement, and as it tapped itself, it spoke in a humanoid language. “Æ ɛɦɱ Ɱɪθʔɻɑʟʔɳɯɻuʊɗɔ. Ɱɪθʔɻɑʟʔɳɯɻuʊɗɔ.”

“I… I don’t understand you.”

It breathed through its nose and tapped its chest again, “Ɱɪθʔɻɑʟʔɳɯɻuʊɗɔ.” It then pointed to Eli, a decidedly human “Hmm?” expressed.

“You want my name?” Eli mulled over it for a minute, then placed the pants he was holding in his lap, bringing his own hand to his chest. “Eli.” He sucked on his teeth, and then gestured to the chiss, “You’re Myth-raaw-nurodo?”

The chiss looked displeased, its eyes narrowed. “Θɻɑʟɳ.” It tried, drawing the sounds out so Eli could understand.

“Thrawn, then?”

Eli watched on as the chiss, Thrawn, returned to his meal.

An AU where the Chiss are Sirens and Eli falls overboard his ship into the sea. As with all cordage's fics, it's really important to mind the tags, but if you can tolerate the contents the story is beautifully written and full of emotion.

--

my home is you by junesunsets

“I am afraid that if I do what I want, I will not be able to stop myself,” Thrawn finally admits quietly, after what feels like an eternity. He lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he is holding and is looking at the floor. And at that same time, Eli grasps his hands a little tighter and brings them a little bit closer.

Eli knows that if he does what he wants, he won’t be able to stop either.

They both slowly start to creep into the small space that separates them and as soon as they feel their breaths just mere millimeters from their lips, Eli’s com’s ping rips through the silence of the room.

Loud. Obnoxious. Unpleasant. A reminder that they can’t escape the reality outside.

Eli and Thrawn really can't win.. but at least now they're together, and the delayed moment will be revisited. A lovely little piece about their dedication and loyalty to each other, despite everything conspiring to keep them apart.

---

If It Weren't For You Meddling Chiss by ZsforSs

“I've got you.” Thrawn said stepping between Eli and the sprung trap.

For a moment there was no suspicion, just shock. Eli let Thrawn maneuver him back into the wall, letting him lean there. “What- What happened?”

“Are you alright?” Thrawn asked, lifting Eli's chin to make him look up at Thrawn.

“Yeah, I'm- I'm alright.”

“Good, good.” Thrawn leaned down and pressed his lips to Eli's.

Eli kissed back on auto-pilot and through the terrified white noise in his head noted that this was nice, very nice.

It was too bad this wasn't Thrawn.

I think this was one of the first Thranto stories I read and it's lived rent free in my head ever since. A mystery, a fascinating monster, Thrawn being clever, Eli being capable, and the two of them working together to overcome the danger they find themselves in.

[doc-pickles]

I would never fall unless it's you I fall into

hey y'all... nina wrote a thing... and I am soRRY but it's been sitting in my drafts for months and I finally resurrected it and @cicinicole-14 helped me work out some of the details and I am In love with it. so there will be a second part. and a third part. but for now enjoy this.

this is my jolex single parents AU and it is my new pride and joy so... enjoy. or don't. idc.

xoxo nina

The on call room she’d found is quiet, exactly what she needs after the past 48 hours of her life. Jo takes a deep breath as she leans against the wall, willing her tears to stay back. The door opens and she attempts to put on a brave face but her facade falls when she sees Alex in front of her. Relief courses through him as he shuts the door behind him, eyes locked on Jo as he steps ever closer.

“Hey.”

Jo smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Alex wants to reach out and touch her, but her demeanor clearly tells him she’s not open to the idea. She sighs, turning to look out the window that’s streaked with rain, “This place looks so different in the dark.”

“Yeah,” Alex lets a sigh of his own out, one hand rubbing against his neck as he tries to choose what he wants to say to her. It’s not that he doesn’t know what he wants to say but more so he’s deciding what isn’t going to make Jo run for the hills. “You think the tree ruined my couch?”

Jo can’t help the laugh that slips through her lips at the words. Surely Alex knows the answer to that, “I think it ruined your entire living room. You’re lucky the twins weren’t home.”

Alex grins, but just like Jo it’s not convincing enough. His mind now swirls with thoughts of Alexis and Eli and if they’re still sleeping down in the daycare. He thinks back to when he first found out about their existence, how one unassuming day in July had changed his whole entire life. 

They had been trying for months with no results. He wanted to stop, Alex couldn’t stand the disappointed look on Izzie’s face everytime she took a pregnancy test that ended up only showing one line. He loved Izzie more than anything, he hated seeing her hurt. But she wanted a baby, she wanted everything with him and who was he to deny her. So he let her continue to torture herself month after month until finally she became fed up and declared she was going in for fertility testing.

That’s when it had all gone wrong.

Her doctor had run a few blood panels and then called both of them into her office. The day was still fresh in Alex’s mind even almost five years on. How the older woman had told them that Izzie was finally pregnant, but that her labs had revealed something else besides just a baby.

Izzie had cancer. And it was spreading quickly. 

Refusing to give up the child that she wanted so badly Izzie decided right then in the doctors office to forego treatment to continue her pregnancy. When they went home that night Alex begged her to take the treatment and assured her that they could try again or adopt or anything else. But Izzie was adamant that the baby they’d been given was a blessing and that she didn’t want the treatment. 

Alex let her make the decision, despite how his brain told him to keep fighting with her. That night they crawled into bed and as he held his wife Alex prayed that things would turn out okay for them.

One week later at Izzie’s first appointment, they were both shocked to find out that they were having twins. 

Immediately Alex began charting out worst-case scenarios, knowing that twins would take an even larger toll on Izzie’s already fragile body. He was a doctor for god’s sake, he knew the risks of both pregnancy and cancer. But he never said anything, he simply supported Izzie and helped her the best that he could. As her pregnancy progressed and her cancer worsened it became evident that everything Alex had ever held dear was holding on by a thin thread. 

Izzie was admitted to the hospital when she was almost 19 weeks. She was on strict bedrest orders until the twins were delivered, her body barely supporting her let alone the two babies sucking all of her energy. Alex spent every waking moment of his life at the hospital for ten weeks, barely seeing the sun for more than a few moments a day. When he wasn’t working or operating he was sitting at his wifes bedside, only leaving to get the nursery ready at Izzie’s insistence. 

They day that Izzie hit 28 weeks Alex went up to visit her after he finished rounds like he’d made a habit of doing. Her room was empty, the bed was gone and there were medical supplies littering the floor. His heart had dropped out of his chest as he raced to the OR. He stood in the gallery motionless, Meredith on one side and Cristina on the other as he watched his wife flatline. 

The only thing that kept Alex upright and on his feet was that the twins hadn’t been delivered yet. He watched in slow motion as one then two impossibly tiny babies were held up high, tiny high-pitched screams echoing from them as they were placed into incubators and rolled out of the OR. As soon as his children were out of sight Alex collapsed to the floor, sobs wracking his body not only for his wife but for their son and daughter who she had sacrificed so much for but would never get to meet.

From the moment he first held his children in his arms his whole life had been about them. Every day from the moment he woke to the moment he fell asleep all he thought about was Alexis and Eli and if they were okay, if they were happy, if they felt loved. He tried to be as present as he could, always playing Legos with them or reading them as many stories as he possibly could before they fell asleep at night. That’s the only life Alexis and Eli have known over the past five years, one with their dad there for every single minute of their lives and stories of their mom coming from him and the many aunts and uncles they have around the hospital. 

But now, now Alex thought of other things. When he woke up he would wonder if he and Jo would have a case together, if she would scrunch up her nose when he told a bad joke. He fell asleep sometimes thinking of her laugh and the way she would always tease him. When his kids ran through the house screaming he would fight off the urge to tell them to quiet down in case they woke Luna up, even when her and Jo weren’t visiting. He couldn’t help the way his mind always drifted to Jo.

And so now he stood across from her, eyes wide and heart open ready to tell her that he wanted her. He wanted everything with her and even though it scared the shit out of him he knew he had to tell her.

“Listen, I have to tell you something,” as soon as the words leave Alex’s mouth he knows they’re wrong. Jo looks at him and blinks up silently and she’s scared. She’s terrified of what he’s going to say and it’s clear as day on her face. 

“No, you don't,” Jo shakes her head, taking a step back from Alex. Her heart is pounding and she can’t help the way she settles her hand above it as if to slow the beats.

“You don't even know what I'm gonna say,” Alex huffs, as if he’s right. But he isn’t because Jo knows what three words he’s going to say. Three words that will ruin their friendship, that will have her running out the door before he can finish the phrase. 

“I think I do, and you shouldn't.”

“Jo…,” Alex wants to scream it from the rooftops, his feelings for her. But he also wants to make sure he doesn’t scare Jo because she happens to be the most important thing in his life besides his kids. “Please?”

“No way, I'll mess it up, Alex. I mess everything good in my life up, and... and we have kids. Both of us. We have three kids and they’re already messy enough without whatever this is between us. Okay? Things are already messy and we work as friends really well and our kids get along, well as much as an infant and some really adorable five year olds can. But I… I don't wanna mess that up. I can’t mess something else up for Luna, I can’t do that to her.”

Jo's journey to motherhood was full of hardships and started with a turbulent marriage. Fresh out of med school Jo had married Paul, her former professor who had gotten her a job at Mass Gen. She was riding a high of graduation, a new job at a prestigious hospital, and a brand new marriage that she missed all the signs. The passive-aggressive behavior, the need to check her phone, the constant control over every aspect of her life. She had pushed her worries aside at first, hoping that she was overreacting. She loved Paul, she wanted everything with him and she wouldn’t let her stupid worries ruing that. By the time Jo had finally taken notice of how bad things had gotten it had been almost a year and she had added ‘get kicked around before bed’ to her daily routine.

She’d finally had enough, ten months into their tumultuous marriage to Paul Jo had made a plan to leave him. And then she’d gotten sick. By the fourth morning of being hunched over the toilet, she’d known that there was no leaving now. Or maybe it was more important than ever to leave, but Jo couldn’t be certain. Not when she could barely keep enough food down to support her already frail body.

Paul had been… Confusing. When she’d first told him he’d cried and promised to take care of her and their child. And he had, really. He’d taken her to her appointments and made sure she ate well. If he was in a particularly good mood he would hold her hair back while she puked or bring her a water bottle. Jo was sure that whatever version of Paul she was dealing with would be gone in a flash.

And he was.

She was almost seven months along and they’d just found out that they were having a girl. Jo had wanted to be surprised, but Paul had convinced the ultrasound tech to tell them at her appointment much to her dismay. The thought kept Jo up at night, sleep evading her as she turned the idea of a little girl with her bright hazel eyes falling to the same fate as her at the hands of her father over and over again in her head. 

She couldn’t sleep, she had stopped attempting to after the first three nights. Instead, she sat in the living room, the TV droning on as background noise to the intrusive thoughts about her daughter that plagued her.

Daughter.

The word evoked so much feeling in Jo. She’d never had anyone call her their daughter. How could Jo care for her daughter when she never had a mom? How could she love her daughter when no one had ever shown her the love a daughter should receive? These thoughts kept her up too, the fact that she still had yet to form an emotional bond with the baby that was beginning to roll around in her womb. Despite the fact that she still felt indifferent about her child, she knew that she couldn’t let her go through what she had.

She needed to leave.

She needed to but she couldn’t. 

It was nine days after the news had come to Jo that Paul’s attitude flipped. She’d been up all night sitting with her thoughts and was just coming upstairs to slip into bed so that Paul wouldn’t assume that anything was wrong. As soon as she’d stepped onto the second-floor landing he’d been in front of her, yelling and screaming about how he knew she was cheating on him and that’s why she wasn’t in bed. How the baby she was carrying wasn’t his and that he should’ve ‘taken care of the problem’ when he had the chance. 

As soon as his voice raised Jo knew she was screwed. Whatever white picket fence life Paul had tried to convince her she wanted disappeared in a flash. 

Jo prayed. She never had before but she found herself praying and begging whatever God was out there to watch over her daughter, to keep her safe and not let any harm come to her.

In a single instant and three distinct moves, Jo’s life changed forever.

One. Her daughter kicked against her palm, the movement reminding Jo she wasn’t alone. 

Two. Jo’s heart burst wide open and a rush of love for the baby growing inside of her filled her chest.

Three. Paul’s hands found her shoulders and Jo went tumbling down the stairs.

She doesn’t remember much after that, blurry scenes from the next few days clouding her memory. 

Jo knew Paul called 911, had cried and begged them for help.

Jo knew that she’d pleaded with the EMTs to save her daughter, to not let her get hurt like she had.

Jo knew Paul was walked out of the house in handcuffs, his volatile words flying through the air.

Jo knew that her daughter was ripped from her body as soon as she made it to Mass Gen, the too small infant being whisked away from her before she even had a chance to ask if she was okay or not.

Jo knew that her body was broken and bruised, hurt beyond anything that Paul had put her through before. 

Jo knew without a shadow of a doubt that her life would never be the same.

When she woke two days later, mind foggy and body aching, all Jo could feel was fear. The nurse at her side assured her that she was okay, that her daughter was in the NICU and she was doing fine. 

(She’d also whispered under her breath that Paul was in prison and that multiple women had come forward when Jo’s story had been plastered over every media outlet in Boston)

Before she could process what the nurse had told her, Atticus Lincoln was standing in the doorway of her hospital room, sheepishly explaining that while Paul was her emergency contact he was still her next of kin. Jo hadn’t seen him in almost two years, not since Paul had unceremoniously kicked Link and all of her friends out of her life. 

The sight of her best friend, of her brother, brought fresh tears to her eyes and her heart leapt as Link moved forward to hug her. Jo was bruised and broken but doing well considering what had happened.

“Have you seen her?”

Jo didn’t need to specify who she was talking about as Link immediately got his phone out and pulled up a photo for her.

“She looks just like you.”

The moment she saw the tiny baby in the incubator for herself Jo knew that she could never not love the little girl in front of her. Her tiny hand had curled around Jo’s finger and the tears had come instantly. She proudly declared to Link that she felt as if her daughter had hung the moon and stars for her.�� 

“So what, you’re gonna name her Moony?”

As Link laughed in the background a small smile lit her face up.

“No. Link, I’d like to introduce you to Luna Grace.”

The next few months weren’t easy on Jo. Link took a sabbatical from his new ortho fellowship to help her get on her feet. Her physical recovery was long and gruesome, her body almost unrecognizable as she looked in the mirror every day. Her mental battle was even harder, the horrors and atrocities of her marriage and her past quickly coming to light as she truly tried to better herself for her daughter.

Luna quickly became the best part of her days. After physical therapy and regular therapy, Jo would make her way down to the NICU to visit Luna. For being born at 28 weeks the little girl quickly proved to her mom and Link that she was a fighter. Every day there was more and more progress and all of the nurses continued to compliment Jo on her daughter’s growth.

After Jo was released from the hospital but before Luna was, their case went to trial. The day had been nerve-wracking, Paul’s ice-cold stare had followed her across the courtroom and she could almost hear his venomous words hurled at her. 

In the end, Paul had gone to prison for two counts of attempted murder, not including the dozens of women who were waiting to testify against him now. As he was walked out of the courtroom Jo took her first deep breath in what felt like decades. 

“You know, Luna is going to be discharged soon.”

Jo turned to Link, the two of them sat across from each other next to Luna’s incubator. She was cooing and making a variety of noises, clearly an attempt to redirect the conversation back toward her. 

“Yeah, her doctor said by the end of the month. Why?”

“You both deserve a fresh start, Jo. Boston can’t give you that.”

Link leaned forward as Jo’s expression mirrored one of confusion.

“Come back with me to Seattle. You’re brilliant, you’ll be able to land a job with me at Seattle Grace in no time.”

The decision really made itself. Jo knew that Link was right, that Boston would not be a welcoming home for her or for Luna. And so, five weeks later Jo found herself seated on a plane with Luna squeezed between her and Link headed for a fresh start in Seattle.

“You won't mess anything up. And our kids already love each other, you know that. Alexis can’t stop talking about Luna and Eli is determined to get her walking before the end of the year,” Alex takes a step forward and when Jo doesn’t step back he reaches out, taking her hand in his. “Last night, before the tree, you asked me a question. You wanted to hear me say the words and honestly, that scared me.”

“Alex…”

“I haven’t said… that to anyone since Izzie and it scared me but,” Alex takes a deep breath and meets Jo’s gaze, both of them filled with an odd mix of fear and excitement. “The longer I thought about it the more it felt real, felt right. And you’re right, we work well as friends and we have kids but I know there’s something there.  So I'm... Saying the words right now.”

And Alex was right, he and Jo were the perfect team. From the moment they met they’d worked in perfect tandem, always anticipating the others next move in and out of the OR. The first day they’d met Jo had been in the middle of what was supposed to be a routine c-section, Alex waiting to take the baby who was five weeks early. Things had been going fine, Alex was checking over the infant and Jo was closing up when the monitors began to ring out around them. 

“Shit… can someone page general? I need another set of hands here,” Jo was working frantically, knowing she had done everything by the book but hoping against hope that she hadn’t accidentally ruined her first solo c-section. 

Alex, who had already confirmed that the infant in his care would be fine to go to the NICU without any complications, hopped up, immediately coming to Jo’s aide, “I’m here, what do you need?”

Truthfully Alex was expecting a fight, he hadn’t worked with Jo yet but he’d heard stories already of how she was a firecracker who didn’t take shit from anyone. He was pleasantly surprised when she pointed out where the hemmorage was and they both worked to control it. The issue solved itself quickly and once he was sure that she’d be okay on her own again Alex left to check on his own patient who was already heading to the NICU.

“You’re good, not that I doubted it but it’s nice to see the evidence for myself,” Jo’s voice had shocked him later that night when she’d sidled up next to him as he finished a chart. Looking back now he’s sure that he looked like an idiot when he turned to her. They’d only met in the OR where Jo had been gowned up with her surgical mask and cap on. In the hallway though she stood in her dark blue scrubs with her hair in two identical braids, wide hazel eyes staring up at him and pert pink lips curving into an amused smile. “Jo Wilson, I know we worked together earlier but I figured a formal introduction was needed.”

“Alex Karev, nice to meet you,” while Jo had indeed noticed Alex staring at her, she couldn’t help but reciprocate the action herself. Out of his surgical gear he was downright gorgeous with his chiseled jawline and the scruff along his cheeks. “You came from Mass Gen?”

Jo nodded, but before she could respond one of the nurses in front of her interrupted, “Doctor Wilson, the daycare is paging you. Sounds like your daughter might have been injured.”

Jo was off and running before the nurse had finished talking. Alex, who had nothing better to do at almost 8 PM, had followed her into the elevator. It wasn’t until the metal doors shut that she’d turned to him, “Where are you going?”“The nurse said your daughter is hurt, I’m a pediatric surgeon,” Alex shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. He suddenly felt nervous, like maybe he shouldn’t have followed Jo. “Figured I might be of some help.”

Nothing else was said on their elevator ride, both doctors standing in silence until the doors slid open on the ground floor. Alex kept up with Jo’s quick pace, even sprinting after her when loud wails began to echo through the halls as they got closer to the daycare. When they arrived, one of the daycare workers was holding an infant who’s face was bright red as she continued to cry.

“Luna’s been fussy all day but she just spiked a fever about half an hour ago,” the worker’s words were hurried as Jo brought Luna into her arms. “I don’t know what happened.”“What happened is you should’ve called me hours ago,” Jo’s voice was biting as she checked over her daughter was was still crying. Alex understood Jo’s frustration, had been there many times himself, but he felt compelled to comfort her. 

“Can I look her over? I promise I know what I’m doing,” Alex’s kept his voice calm and low as he placed a hand on Jo’s back. She looked up at him with teary eyes and he could feel the fear radiating off of her. “Jo, she’s gonna be okay.”

Jo followed him without question as he headed toward the ER just around the corner from the daycare. Alex commandeered a triage room and began to look over Luna, who was whimpering in Jo’s arms as her mother attempted to calm her down.

“She’s six months old but she was born at 28 weeks. So it’s been really hard for me to trust anyone with her, let alone try and get through a work day,” Alex realizes that Jo is sniffling too now. “I just… if something is wrong, after everything we’ve been through, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.”

“My twins were born at 28 weeks too, so I understand where you’re coming from,” Alex grabbed an otoscope from the counter, checking both of Luna’s ears quickly. “That would be it, double ear infection. Should clear up with antibiotics and some TLC.”

Jo let out a heavy sigh before breaking into a round of cries herself, shoulders shaking as she held Luna to her chest. Alex set his tools down, unsure of whether to comfort Jo or give her some space. Jo chose for him, her entire history with her ex husband and Luna’s birth and how they came to Seattle spilling out before she could stop it. She still doesn’t know why she chose to share the most traumatic events of her life with Alex so easily but she did. 

Alex in turn shared the story of Alexis and Eli’s birth and by the time they’ve both opened up Luna was fast asleep in Jo’s arms and there were tears on both of their cheeks. Despite only meeting hours earlier, Jo and Alex had quickly formed a bond that wouldn’t soon be broken.

“Alex,” Jo’s voice is barely above a whisper as they stand across from each other in the on call room. “I don't hear anything.”

“Shut up,” Alex grumbles, a deep breath leaving him as he fixes Jo with a gaze that has her heart beating faster. 

“Okay, but I-”

“I'm serious Jo.”

“Fine.”

There’s silence around them as Jo and Alex stare at each other, Alex steeling his nerves and Jo smirking up at him. Finally, his lips part and the words Jo had so desperately been telling herself weren’t coming hang in the air. 

“I love you. I love you and Luna and the dynamic we all have together and I want… I want you, I want us and our family, I was everything with you Jo. I love you.”

And it’s true, Alex loves Jo. It hit him weeks ago, and almost knocked the wind out of him with such a monumental feeling for a moment so mundane. 

Jo had brought Luna over and they hadn’t even been there for five minutes before Alexis and Eli had dragged her off to the playroom and insisted that she play dressup with them. The day was burned into his mind, the way he peaked in down the hall to find Jo in a tiara and a feather boa while Alexis served her ‘tea’ and Eli asked her about her life as a princess. Jo was speaking in a fake British accent while she let Alexis put more sparkly clips into her hair and it hit him then.

He loved her.

Alex loved Jo in the way he loved Izzie once upon a time, in a way he didn’t think he would ever love anyone again. 

At first it had scared him but ultimately it ignited a fire inside his chest that he couldn't wait to watch grow ablaze. The love he felt for Jo had consumed him in all of a second and he let the feeling overtake him.

And then Luna had crawled across the floor to him, tugging on the leg of his pants. He’d hoisted the almost one year old onto his hip and Luna had cuddled into him immediately, her blonde curls splaying against his shoulder as she hugged him tightly and he realized with a start that Jo wasn’t the only person that he loved. 

Because he loved her daughter too, who fit so easily into his life and his heart, who slipped in alongside her mother. 

The air in the on call room changes and both of them let out a deep breath, Jo not hesitating even a second as she throws herself into Alex’s arms and lets her lips brush against his. His hands find purchase on her hips and their bodies are pushed so closely together that they can feel the other breathing. Jo finally pulls back, her forehead resting against Alex’s.

[firephoenix23]

Episode 6: Hidden Depths

Wow okay I feel like there it a lot to unpack with this episode from uni to the high plains monster and what this means for ascension to well everything. I’m just gonna start off with how the short begins. So the gang are following Uni just like we left off with the last short and he is little oblivious to everything but he’s having a good time

Look at him he’s just hopping around and helping the gang out not even aware of what’s going on. I absolutely love him so much!! So they get to a tunnel that’s blocked, they unblock it (I know enriching stuff right now) but then Eli wants to see what Uni can do. Trixie isn’t convinced that he can do anything but Eli says he knows Uni special. Which he definitely is

Skipping the high plains monster for second we come to the main event of the shorts which is that Uni turns all of the slugs into babies. And if I can just gush for a second look how cute they all are. They’re just so tiny and I love that they are still in they’re megamorph designs and colors despite being little babies. I’m just so excited to see what baby slugs look like because they have shown them before in the show but never really went into depths. Like I know I won’t get any answers to my big questions about baby slugs but it’s still nice to see them like this instead of that little brown one that was in the original show

Now back to Uni he’s the only one that didn’t get turned into a baby so Eli decides to use him to fight against the high plains monster. What’s interesting is that in the picture you can see that he has a little fire on his chest and considering he transformed into Burpy maybe that’s how he uses their powers.

Maybe the little yellow beam that he shoots causes him to like store the powers in himself which would make him a pretty powerful slug if he can store the powers of multiple slugs. So we know the slugs are suck as babies for how long we don’t know but I’m gonna bet that the way the slugs go back to being adults is that Uni has to release his powers??? Like I’m not entirely sure but if he can call them up on his chest there must be a way to give them back. Maybe with a different colored beam.

Also if Uni was ghouled does that mean all the powers that he has from Eli and Trixie’s slugs are ghouled too? I know he stole the powers of the hop jack’s from episode 4 so can he use their powers now? I mean we have to find out later at some point but now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the high plains monster

Or Eels as Eli apparently calls them on the slugterra wiki. Not sure why that’s the name he thought of when he seems them but okay Eli go off I guess 😅. Yeah unfortunately I had to look up what the hell this guy was on the wiki because I’m not at the episode it comes by night. I know that’s like it’s debut episode but I don’t really care about spoiling it for myself since I did recognize the monster as soon as it showed up. I just couldn’t remember anything about it so all of this comes from the wiki so bare with me.

So the high plains monster is a beast from the deep caverns which might be confirming my theory that ascension means like coming back up from the deep caverns. It’s the only being from the deep caverns that can pass through the barrier that guards slugterra from the darkbane of the deep caverns. When it does pass through the barrier loses it’s physical form. This means it has to suck up the energy or life source from any living creature like people or slugs. And apparently it’s weakness is light and fire.

I think what strikes me the most here is that it doesn’t have a physical form when it comes into slugterra but it looked like it did in ascension. It tripped Trixie and Burpy bounced off of it when Eli shot at it. Now I’m not sure how it worked in it comes by night but I can assume if it said no physical form it’s kinda like a ghost. So anything that is shot at it would go right through it. So the only way that it could have a physical form is if it sucked up a lot of slug and people energy or, here is the big one, the barrier is open.

I think the barrier being opened is the most likely answer and this would explain why blakk is back why the eel (I can’t with that name it doesn’t even look like an eel 😂) has a physical form. This could be huge for the show because if Blakk can come back then that means Will can come back too. But it also means the darkbane could as well. I don’t know all of this is speculation but if anyone else has any other ideas about this I would love to hear them

[cow-smells]

Knock It Off (Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz x reader)

Request: Do you think you could write something about the reader being in cobra kai, and she’s new to everything and little more quiet and reserved, but she’s talented and sensai lawrence likes her for that, and hawk takes a liking to her and constantly flirts with her in class and sensai lawrence is like protective of her and always tells him to knock it off even though you secretly like it? (anon)

A/n: I really enjoyed this request!! I feel like I could go on forever on this dynamic. Is this me projecting my lack of a father figure on to a fictional character? Perhaps.

Words: 1216

Warnings: none

read this on AO3

It took .003 seconds from you entering the dojo to when his eyes caught on you, and the theatrics began.

    “Hey,” Hawk nudged Miguel, shrugging off the top of his gi nonchalantly, as though it wasn't an obvious attempt to obtain your attention. “look. Recoloured the hawk to Red. Gotta keep him up with the times.”

Miguel didn't even have to look back to ask. “Y/n's here?”

    “Is she?” Hawk asked, his voice higher than usual – as it would get when he lied. “Didn't notice.”

That doesn't stop him from approaching you a millisecond later, his torso still bare. You're talking to Aisha when Hawk strides over, fist bumps Aisha and turns to you, giving you a long once-over.

    “Y/n. Looking fine as usual.” You can't help the blush that creeps up your cheeks. “You girls coming to the party at the canyon tomorrow night? I can come get you on my bike,” he finishes, looking at you.

You smile and part your lips to answer but sensei Lawrence beats you to it. “Students. Fall in!” he yells authoritatively as he eyes you and Hawk.

Not missing a beat, you all cut your conversation immediately to fall in to rows. Sensei Lawrence has Miguel warm up the class. Right after he commands you all in to an open square, standing at the open side to referee. “Tory. Aisha.” sensei calls, and no one needs an explanation as to what's about to happen. The All Vally tournament was closer than ever and Sensei had you all sparring constantly.

    The girls drive a hard fight, but eventually Tory takes the win. Both roughed-up Tory hands an arm out to Aisha, picking her up from the mat before bowing and returning to their respective places.

    “Y/n.” Sensei calls and you step forward. You were only three girls in his class so you were used to fighting the boys. You weren't shaken by it by any means – you were good – but the boys tended to go easy on you, fearing for your delicate hollow bones – despite you being fully capable of winning without them holding back.

    Both you and Sensei Lawrence scan the crowd of boys, trying to catch the eye of someone with the nerve to take you – when Hawk steps forward, signature cocky grin on his lips. “May I, Sensei?”

You loved how Hawk showed Sensei proper respect, knowing that outside the dojo he wouldn't ask anyone permission for anything, he'd just take or do what he wanted. Caring for Sensei Lawrence as you did, you appreciated Hawks matching adoration of your teacher.

    It looks like Johnny might turn him down before he says, “You may.”

    You and Hawk step towards each other and a surge of excitement rushes through you as you bow to each other. You take a fighting position and block when Hawk sends the first punch. Before he can recover you attack, spinning on your heel to deliver a kick so strong it knocks him over.

Usually Hawk jumps right back in to action when sparring with anyone else; but now he slowly peels himself off the mat, hand on his chest where you hit him. “Damn, Y/n. Was that a spinning back kick or am I just falling for you?”

    “Knock it off,” Sensei roars in annoyance, the heat in your cheeks rising furiously. You return to a fighting position without responding, trying to drown the whole thing out.

Hawk obeys Sensei and the rest of the fight goes by as any fight would, Hawk treating you as an equal – definitely not showing mercy, which, despite the pain, you appreciated – eventually ending with him straddling you on the mat, delivering a final hit to your chest, just under you clavicle. It wasn't a strong one, but it didn't need to be. Tournament rules declared him winner. Johnny called Hawk's name in triumph, but Hawk didn't seem to care. He was reluctant to get off you, the intense eye contact you held holding him back from breaking away.

    That is, until Johnny grabbed hold of his shoulder and forced him up and away from you. “Bow,” he commanded, and the intense irritation in his voice was unmistakable. You do so shakily, even though you know Sensei's irritation is not towards you. Sensei Lawrence had a soft spot for you, always had since you joined – and you reveled in it. He knew about your home life situation, and together with your quick learning and dedication to his teachings he quickly grew fond of you, and together with the fondness he became protective, as though you were his own.

    The rest of the class goes by uneventfully, apart from a bloody nose and chipped tooth, nothing that was foreign to you all at this point of your intense training.

The class dispersed. People headed out or to the locker rooms to change as Johnny called, “Y/n. My office.” You follow him in.

    “Is he bothering you?” Johnny asks, not bothering to close the door. You didn't need to ask who “he” is.

    “N-no,” you admit, slightly blushing as you do. If anything, you were enjoying Hawks attention on you, his actions fueling your crush on him even further.

    “Are you sure?” Sensei Lawrence goes on. “because if he is, I-”

    “I'm sure,” you quickly interject. You slowly shut the door behind you as you confess,  “actually, he kinda asked me to a party tomorrow. I'm going to say yes.”

Sensei's brow quirks. “You are not going to a party with that boy.”

    “Why not?” you ask like a disgruntled child at Johnny's words, holding them as a command though to be realistic – he had no power over you. No power that you didn't willingly give him.

    “Look, I-” Johnny begins to say, thinking back to the things he used to do as a teenager at beach parties, bringing girls along on his bike. “I don't like it.”

    “What's so wrong with Hawk?” you frown. “He's one of your best students.”

    “That's unrelated. Look, you can get in to all kinds of trouble at these types of things.”

You try to suppress your smile. “Don't worry about me, Sensei. I won't get in to trouble, promise. Besides, you wouldn't have this conversation with Miguel, would you?”

Johnny sighs, realizing he's fighting a losing battle. Grabbing his keys from his desk, he motions you out. “Come on, I'll give you a ride home.”

You feel a strange kind of contentedness as you leave the empty dojo with Johnny, who rattles his keys in his hands.

    You definitely don't expect to see Hawk waiting outside, leaning on his bike with an extra helmet in hand.

    “Hey,” he says and looks timidly from you to Sensei. “I – was wondering if you want a lift home.”

You open your mouth to reply, before shutting it and looking to Sensei pleadingly. He frowns. “Fine, go,” he huffs, acting annoyed. “Don't do anything I wouldn't.”

You send a final smile to your sensei before skipping over to Hawk, taking the helmet from his hands and mounting the bike behind him, your arms curling around him as you take off.

[the-bugs-under-ur-skin]

Yandere Volks, Poe, and Eli HCs - Blush Blush

busy day but i wanted to clean my inbox a bit so here we are! i really like writing for blush blush, so you guys shouldn’t be scared to request! thank you for taking the time to support me, i love all of you! :)

[yandere Volks x reader]

-i could see Volks being a little bit of a stalker honestly

-he doesn’t do it because he’s too nervous to talk to you or whatever, he does it because he’s very possessive of you

-he doesn’t do it that often, but sometimes he’ll get really on edge so he decides to follow you around

-he’ll get pissed at almost every person you talk to, every person you give a kind smile or wave to

-Volks would be super violent when it comes to rivals

-by the way if you were wondering what “rivals” Volks has encountered, that basically just means anyone you know

-he’ll even get jealous by people you don’t get along with; “what makes them so special? if you hate them then why do you talk with them all the time?”

-he would not hold back when fighting/killing them, doing it in the most painful way he can think of

-he’s probably one of the most ruthless yanderes to be thought of and its clear to anyone who sees the carnage he’s left behind

-he’ll never admit it, but he gets jealous super easily

-i also think that despite him being very violent towards others, he’d be really soft with you

-kind of like the typical “mean guy blushes and smiles at nice protagonist” in the manga, but a little more twisted

-you might even be surprised by it, especially because his attitude can shift almost instantly

-maybe you notice that something is really making him stressed so you just give him a kiss on the cheek and talk to him in a soft voice

-he goes from like “passive aggressive” to “tsundere simp” in a second

-he gets embarrassed when acting like this in public, but he’d do it for you if you really wanted him to 

-he’d honestly do anything for you

-if you asked him to do something, it’d be that cliché where he’s like “pft, no” and then immediately does it

-he’s just a genuinely soft guy under that murderous shell of his

-well, at least that’s what he hopes you think of him...

[yandere Poe x reader]

-Poe also gives me strong stalker vibes

-and the stalking doesn’t stop after the relationship begins by any means

-he’ll always enjoy watching you from behind the scenes, just wanting to see how you live your life 

-he’d also write little things about your life down, hyperfocusing on everything you do

-he’ll feel connected to you in a way

-if you’re feeling down, he’ll spend days just feeling depressed and only writing about your struggles in his poems

-but if you’re really happy or excited, then suddenly he’s mr. sunshine, expressing all of the joy you have in his writing

-it would be especially strange if this happened while he was working on something in his classes, his professor would definitely be surprised

-he also will observe you a lot when you’re aware of him

-like, you think you’re just having quality time with you’re boyfriend and then you look up and he’s just intensely staring at you 

-i could definitely see Poe as an obsessive guy

-that, and also a worshipper

-i’m pretty sure this guy was already obsessed with you in the og game so he’d probably be 10x worse

-if you were ever to look around his room, you’d find pages and notebooks filled with absolute adoration for you

-he also wouldn’t really see what’s actually wrong with it, he’s just more embarrassed that you saw some of his poems

-it’s always you in his mind

-throughout the day he’ll always be thinking about you, writing about you, following you

-you’re probably what keeps him up at night, too

-whether it be because his head is just so loud from all the thoughts about you or because he’s actually watching you sleep, it’s pretty obvious you’re the main cause of those eyebags

-and even when he finally gets to drift off into sleep it’s obviously going to be you haunting his dreams

-on the bright side, the obscurity the comes with both a dream and his love for you will probably end up inspiring him

-but luckily, all of the nonstop thoughts about you are usually him just worshipping you

-Poe has almost never had a negative thought about you, it probably only happened when he first met you

-but he worships every little thing about you, no matter how odd it is

-he would probably even rant about something as simple as your hair for hours and hours with no sign of him stopping anytime soon

-he just adores you so much, but he’d do just about anything you say, so if you want him to do something he’ll do it

-the only problem with abusing you power over him is that the more you ask favors from him, the more clingy he’ll get

-after awhile, he’s almost always hovering over you, following you around, and staring at you constantly

-but that should be fine, it’s not like you’d ever want him to leave, right?

[yandere Eli x reader]

-Eli is probably not very violent at all

-sure, he’ll probably get into fights for you, but it’s mostly just arguments instead of actually throwing hands

-he’s just not very willing to get all dirtied up by the blood of some worthless nobody

-but even though he’s not very violent, he does get jealous often

-he gets jealous of everyone you talk good about, which is surprising for you since he’s usually such a “the more the merrier” kind of guy

-like, if you and him were just talking and suddenly you brought up your friend he would immediately start acting like a baby

-he’ll puff out his cheeks and start rolling his eyes

-the same goes for when you’re out in public, but sometimes he’ll even drag you away from the place you’re both at

-he might seem angry at you but just know that he’s more agitated with the person he’s jealous of rather than you

-he makes that especially clear when the person agitating him is right next to you guys

-sometimes Eli will start acting passive-aggressive towards the person and make subtle jabs towards them to make them self-conscious

-other times he’ll just cling onto you and whine until you both leave

-on that note, Eli is very clingy as well

-he follows you everywhere you go, and he’s always showing some sort of affection along the way, too

-if you’re just sitting around a home, he’ll there too with an arm around your shoulder 

-or if you want to go out somewhere, Eli would be happy to accompany you with an arm around your waist

-you’re most likely going to get annoyed quickly by Eli’s constant affection, but he’ll keep doing it anyways

-if you were wondering, he’s also a lot more... loyal (selfish)

-he just suddenly has a lot harder of a time having more people in your relationship than he regularly does

-like, he could but he’s not going to beg for it

-maybe he’ll be more accepting if you give him more attention and say you’re his favorite constantly

-other than that, he’s not too bad of a yandere to deal with

-sure, you’re almost never alone, but at least you get constant affection!

-and it’s constant affection from your favorite person in the whole world, obviously, so there’s no reason to complain!

[sonodaten]

Okay, now that I’ve finished the main story for the game and am wrapping up with the criminal ventures/side hustles/discoveries/etc., I wanna give my final thoughts for the Saints Row reboot (spoilers undercut):

TLDR Final Rating if I had to put a number on it: 7.5/10. But that’s a solid 7.5. Like when I tell people Dragon’s Dogma is a 7.5 despite the fact I’m still recommending it to people 10 years after it’s initial release.

The Good:

I loved, loved, loved the story. I understand why some people say it was rushed towards the end—I especially would’ve loved to learned more about the inner workings of Los Panteros and the Idols (heck, even Marshall, and our character got to see the most of them personally while working for them!)—but wow did that twist with the Nahualli come out of nowhere and he was such a good character when he revealed his true intentions. Even if we didn’t get to spend much time with him outside those few missions, the betrayal hit so hard. I think it’s because it’s kind of like a reverse of what happened in Saints Row 2, where the Boss takes control from and ultimately kills Julius, the man responsible for bringing them into the 3rd Street Saints in the first place, and Julius just kind of has to watch as the gang he founded to bring an end of gang violence in Stilwater gets puppeteered by a murdering psychopath to become the center of it all instead. The Nahualli takes the crew from the Boss because he believes he can do everything they can’t and anything they can better, even down to fucking re-enacting one of the game’s opening scenes from the crew’s old apartment. God it was so twisted and so cool just to see how far the games have come in terms of story and the characters within them.

Speaking of characters, they were another huge highlight. Eli, Kevin, and Neenah had big shoes to fill left in my heart by the old crew, but I loved them the moment they appeared on my screen and suggested robbery to pay rent. While their character stories can come pretty quickly and early on (see rushed plot above), it doesn’t take away from how multi-faceted they are as characters, and they never really fall into a rut, per se, that defines them early on. I loved taking part in the LARPing event of the season, the Dustmoot, alongside business whiz Eli, or stealing her favorite art pieces from rich snobs with Neenah (even if that FUCKING COW SCULPTURE made me restart that mission like seven times). And while they might not get as much screen time (a crime, frankly, in some cases), a lot of the side and supporting characters really shine as well, like Gwen, JR, and Tamira.

Santo Illeso itself is stunning. If Nevada/Las Vegas is what they were going for, then the developers can pay themselves on the back, because they got it. I mentioned in my previous post about the game that I recently visited during my grandfather’s funeral, and while we did spend some time on the strip, a majority of the time was spent in the outlying neighborhoods where my grandfather and other family lived. I think that’s what I liked most about Santo Illeso because they could’ve made the map like 80% inspired by the strip and filled with lights and casino and stuff and like 20% other stuff, but it really wouldn’t have felt the same. The strip is really such a small, small part of Vegas, and I think that’s really well reflected with just how small the El Dorado and it’s district is on the map. There’s so much of the city in those parts outside of the strip—in the Old Town and the Mercado it’s just a shame there’s interiors for us to see it. AND THE DUST STORMS don’t even get me started on how cool those are. I freaked out the first time I got one because I drove into one from a tunnel so I had no idea what was happening and I thought my monitor was like melting or something 😂 Plus the endless little discoveries on the map that give you money, EXP, or just some lore tidbits are always a fun way to explore the map when I’m looking to take a load off the activities or missions.

Criminal Ventures/Activities are fun, and I was happy to see Insurance Fraud (my personal favorite) return. I also really liked Eurekabator and unlocking the cool perks and weapons from it, as well as Chalupacabra. But trying to figure out the clues to Edith’s “Vision Journal” is also a pretty fun puzzle, and it’s a nice way to relax from driving around literal waste. I’m still working my way through the last of them so I can build Saints Tower, tho, so maybe one of the others will unseat them as my new favorite!

The Bad:

Was not a huge fan of the Criminal Ventures themselves needing to be bought and placed. I understand it’s probably not as big of a deal bc you literally just have money collecting in that cash app when you play but once you hit the bump from Ventures costing $400k to $1.6M, it can be a real time sink just to get the venture, let alone completing all the activities for it. Now, I had the benefit of being able to leave my console running while I went and did other stuff (namely, sleep, because I’ve had COVID this past week) so letting the game sit open and letting cash accumulate in the app so I could buy the ventures took literally no sweat (okay there was some sweat to be had I was sick but you get the idea). But I could easily see someone who maybe doesn’t have that option having a harder time. Not to mention some parts of the story are gated until you place/complete a certain number of Ventures which just to me felt like an unnecessary measure taken to inflate the game’s playtime :/ it would’ve been better to just make all the ventures/activities available from the get-go.

The driving in this one feels…not great. And as someone who has NEVER played these games for their driving mechanics, that is saying something. I feel like there wasn’t a lot of middle ground between the controls being too sensitive or just not registering my inputs at all, regardless of how much I tinkered with the options/accessibility settings. Not to mention just the handling in general is just…weird. Taking a corner in any car is like “I’m sorry, did you want to turn into the on-coming lane or did you want to shoot off into the brush?” And the bikes…if it’s not pulling 360s in an intersection while trying to turn, it’s popping a wheelie for no reason. Also, not a fan of how there aren’t off-roading kits for motorcycles. I know I could just use a motorbike but…I don’t want to. I want to use my Kenshin.

The writing could be a little cringe at times. Like that one portion during the last Idols missions where the Boss is telling Kevin “AF” is for texts only (apparently?), and then proceeds for the rest of the mission (and only this mission) to say “Hellz yeah” without a hint of irony. And I play with subtitles, so I know that ‘z’ was there. Idk if it was meant to be a joke or smth, but if it was a joke, it went right over my head. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s like anything that’s trying to parody or satirize recent trends: sometimes they’re good, and sometimes they just fall flat.

The Loyalty outfits. This one is extremely personal and probably more than extremely petty but just…wow. Not worth the challenge.

The radio selection is…kind of boring? I think this one is also more personal because I haven’t listened to the radio proper in the last 8 or so years, but at least for SR: TT and SR IV where when I didn’t know any of the songs on the radio, I was still able to find a handful that I really liked and could build a playlist out of them to play while I drove around. But on this one…I don’t know any of the songs, and I could only really catch myself jamming along to like one or two of them. Coincidentally, they also played during missions! I dunno, just seems like most of the time I wish I could play my own music in-game than anything else…

The Ugly:

They have already been talked about enough by others, and I haven’t experienced them enough to say much more, but I do feel inclined to mention them: The Bugs. Now, having completed the game (and most ventures) without encountering anything “game breaking,” I will admit to leading a blessed existence on the bug front. However, when they do rear their head, it can get ugly real fast. I had the floor of the Church HQ just? Disappear out from under me? And I fell through the floor and under the map??? I wingsuited onto some hidden rooms underneath and was able to fast travel somewhere else without incident, so no harm done but????? What??? And there are a couple Discoveries/Threats refusing to get checked off despite the fact that I very much completed them (for example, blew up a police van for a police surveillance threat, but the map and area marker are still active; there are a few drug pallets that I picked up but did not disappear, and I cannot pick them up again). I haven’t checked trophies or anything yet, but if these not checking off prevents me from getting a Plat, I will be way more pissed in a couple days. I think the worst was trying to start Chalupacabra tho, and the guy you’re supposed to talk to just??? Wasn’t there? I tried driving around and coming back but he wasn’t there and when I started up the game today, there he was! Lmao I haven’t tried co-op, and I’ve heard that’s where some of the worst bugs are, but none of my friends play Saints Row and my brother is too busy playing Pathfinder right now to want to get it so :’) but maybe it’s for the best if co-op is fucked up right now. Hopefully Volition/Deep Silver can get things back on track and patched up so more people can start enjoying this game!

What I hope to see in the future:

Future what? Patch? Expansion? DLC? Sequel? Doesn’t matter, just what I’d like to see in the future for this game—whatever form that may take:

Return of human shields. It was a staple of the SR series and I can see why, with the origin of the new Saints, why they removed it buuuuuuuuuut I think we are all mature and responsible enough to suspend disbelief enough for this 🙂

Return of robbing stores. I understand why with the new Saints muggings are no longer a thing, but robbing stores—especially big chains like Friendly Fire and Impressions—wouldn’t be out of their MO

Better weapon wheel. Either make combat pause while I am selecting a new weapon, or make the cursor better at selecting from the distinct wedges on the wheel in the middle of a firefight. My preference would be pausing, bc sometimes I pick weapons based on the enemy bc of their unlock condition, and it’s helpful that it’s displayed on the weapon wheel, but less so when I have 0 time to read it

Unlockable Menu. Similar to previous entries, but a menu that lists unlockable perks/skills/weapons/etc. and their unlock conditions. As I mentioned above with Ventures/Activities being a sort of bottleneck experience, it would be nice if players knew which ones they needed to play to unlock certain things (unlimited ammo, for example) to prioritize certain ventures and better customize their experience.

Werewolf DLC. With all the mention of werewolves as part of Santo Illeso’s history, if there’s a Halloween DLC, I would definitely want to see werewolves as a featured part of it!

Recordings app? Similar to how the newscasts can be found on the playlist app, but recordings of the Hidden Histories that you’ve cleared so players can go back and revisit them.

Parachute option 😅 not that I don’t think wing suits are cool, but I was just better with parachute controls

I have a feeling for an Expansion we’ll get some sort of resolution for Marshall/Atticus if you didn’t kill him. I’d be interested to see if they actually do something different if you fire him vs killed him

Speaking of Expansions, I’d loved to see some more lore about how this universe is not only similar to the previous games’, but also how it differs. Drop something atomic on us. Just have fucking Lin show up for no reason other than to walk by the camera and show us she’s alive in this universe. Spell Stilwater with two l’s…bitch.

Also, this goes without saying, but cool DLC crewmates if we get them.

Saints. Save. Christmas. DLC. Non-negotiable./j

EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot my biggest want ever is MORE INTERIORS. There’s nothing I’ve ever missed more from SR2 than being able to go into buildings and just walk around, even if there was nothing in there really. Like you could go into the mall and buy clothes and stuff in SR2 like??? It was a whole mall??? I’m not saying it has to be anything that big, but I’d love to be able to go into some of the buildings outside of missions and stuff bc the city is so well made and I think interiors would just add another level to it :)

And I’m sure I’ll think of more later, but that’s all for now. Anyway, if you missed the one at the top for some reason:

TLDR: This reboot is a SOLID 7.5/10, with charming characters and setting to hold up a rushed, albeit good story. The activities are top-notch as always, but suffer from a bottleneck issue when their completion is required to progress in the main story. Driving controls are a little sensitive, and the radio is lackluster. Experience with bugs in this game may vary in that you will experience them and it will vary whether that means you are falling through the map and out of existence, having button input problems, or just a few cosmetic issues.

[demetrisflannel]

valentine | eli moskowitz

summary: eli’s tough now, but you still find yourself falling for him, so you take a chance and ask him to be your first ever valentine, despite his flaws. he’s experienced (only as of recently), but that’s still something compared to you. is he a good choice to show you what love is?

warnings: none i don’t think? unless you include swearing

a/n: this is probably kinda ooc so i apologise <3 enjoy!

part one | part two (coming soon)

He’s nothing but trouble. You know this.

You know that Eli Moskowitz is a whirlwind of bright blue eyes and a tough exterior and the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen.

You also know that Eli Moskowitz can actually be a big softie.

Conflicted, you throw your head back and sigh. It’s Valentine’s Day soon, and you really, really want to ask him to be your valentine - despite his new personality, he still makes you feel safe. He laughs at your dumb jokes and you somehow never annoy him and he’s so reckless and stupid sometimes but he’s still so kind despite the stupid things he says and-

And you think you might be in love with him, as much as you hate to admit it.

Yes, he fights. Yes, he doesn’t think before he speaks. Yes, he smokes (which you hate).

And yes, you really fucking hate all of the above. But when it’s just you two, he’s smiling and he feels like someone you could make your safe place.

He’s silly and he’d probably give great hugs and he could protect you. He’s (somewhat) unafraid to show his emotions, beyond the alpha act at least.

You can’t stop thinking about him, and how he makes you feel and all that he is. Eli Moskowitz is, quite simply, exciting. And he makes you feel alive.

You can practically hear what he’d tell you to do. (“Go for it, pussy, if you like someone that much then I’m sure it’d make them really happy to hear!”)

So you ask him.

At first, you consider sending a meme or something, but that’d make it look like you were just joking, right?

You don’t want to come across as too eager, because ‘Hawk’ would probably be turned off by that (ugh), so you just send a simple ‘You got a valentine yet?”

He probably has. He’s Hawk, for fuck’s sake, he could get any damn person he wanted. He and Moon’s closeness made you green with envy sometimes, but you often wondered how you could possibly compare to a girl as fashionable and effortlessly cool as her.

He opens the message almost immediately, and your stomach jumps like every other time you guys talk, except now, your fear is actually somewhat valid.

“Nah. Wbu?”

You almost roll your eyes as you grin. You wish you could just shake him and tell him that he’s okay and cool as Eli and that he doesn’t need to be Hawk.

“I haven’t either, would you”

You stop yourself. Would he... ‘be down’? ‘Like to be yours’?

“I haven’t either, would you do the honours for me?”

Shit. You actually sent it.

You immediately shut off your phone, palms clammy and heart racing. It’s okay. You could just play it off if he says no. Valentines aren’t a biggie. Are they?

Your phone buzzes.

A notification from ‘Eagle softie’. (You’d forever cringe at it, but, hell, was it accurate.)

“What the fuck does that mean lmao”

He wasn’t that clueless, was he?

Unless he wanted you to straight up ask - which you could never see yourself doing, but you hadn’t come this far for nothing.

“You wanna be my valentine?”

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.

Yeah, you’d never turn your phone back on now.

It buzzes after an agonising few seconds, and you swear your heart stops.

This message could change everything.

“Sure.”

Oh.

Relief washes over you, but also doubt. What the fuck are you meant to do now?

“I don’t really know what to do now lmao” you admit, fighting the urge to bite your nails. Maybe this was a bad idea. Regret tinges the pit of your stomach.

“Don’t worry, it’s easy. Just regular valentine shit”

Easy. Being with Hawk felt just like that - easy. Having your first ever valentine was daunting, but he somehow washed away that drowning feeling.

He made it easy.

“I uh, haven’t had a valentine before” you reply.

“Firstly, “uh”? You type how you speak? That’s fucking adorable”

He called you adorable, and your mouth reacts before your brain does, a massive smile painting your face.

“Also I “uh” (haha see what I did there?) haven’t either, but I totally didn’t say that”

You can’t help but reply firmly.

“Eli. You don’t need to put on an act around me.”

“Okay lol if you say so. Send me your address, it’s a date. If that’s cool.”

Yeah, now you were freaking out.

“Yeah I haven’t been on a date before either” you hurriedly type, anticipating his reply. Were you being annoying at this point? Would he be put off?

“Great, I’ll make it fun x”

Nope. Just regular Hawk protocol, with a stupid kiss at the end. You’d never admit it, but it made you blush like a wildfire.

“Stop with the kisses before I send you a murderer’s address”

“No. x”

Eli Moskowitz was unpredictable and thrilling and a total badass. You were surprised he’d even agreed.

And in exactly a week, he’d be your valentine and you’d be on your first ever date.

It would help if time could go slower right now, so you could prepare, but you also desperately want to hug him and see him in person and you really, really missed him.

Valentine’s Day, here you come.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Concept: Miguel and Demetri are the last two people at the beach party. Maybe Miguel doesn't call his mom right away because he doesn't want to get in trouble for drinking, and Demetri offers to stay with him so he won't be the last one to leave. There's an awkward silence for a little while--Demetri can tell Miguel's in a mood, and he doesn't want to push his luck.

After what feels like hours, Miguel speaks up. “She broke up with me. I...I tried to hit that guy she came with, and she got in the middle of it, and I...accidentally hit her instead.”

Demetri winces. "Oof. I'm really sorry, dude. That sucks."

"Damn right it does," Miguel grumbles. "I messed everything up with her. And she was just so...she was amazing. I don't know when I'll find someone like that again.”

"Well, if it makes you feel any better..." Demetri laughs bitterly. "I got my heart broken tonight, too."

"Yasmine?" Miguel looks up, frowning. "You made a move on her?"

"Nah." Demetri waves a hand dismissively. “I was really making a token effort more than anything. Didn't know when I'd ever be in close vicinity to her again in an environment where it was socially acceptable to talk to her. To be frank, I didn't expect anything to come of it.”

Miguel's eyes widen as he remembers something. “You like Moon? I...I saw how you were looking at them, when her and Hawk were kissing. You didn't look happy.”

Demetri chuckles. “No, not her.”

“Then why were you sulk--” Miguel cuts himself off as he realizes. “Oh. Oh.”

Demetri sighs, smiling wanly and shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah. It's Eli. Please, uh...please don't tell anyone. I don't want to lose what little respectability I do have in this school."

Despite himself, Miguel laughs a little. “It's okay, dude, my lips are sealed. How long?”

Demetri shrugs. “I don't know. Years? To be honest, I can’t tell you exactly when it started. But this one time in 6th grade we were watching Doctor Who, and Eli just started ranting about how annoying Stephen Moffat’s plotlines were, and how he could run the damn show infinitely better if given the chance. And I just thought to myself damn...I could watch tv with this kid for the rest of my life. I could look at this kid for the rest of my life. Is that stupid?”

He turns and looks at Miguel expectantly, eyes worried. Miguel just shakes his head.

“Not at all, man. I get it. Have you ever told him anything?”

Demetri scoffs, rolling his eyes. “He's got no idea. It's better that way.”

There's a screech of tires as a car pulls up, and Demetri stands up. “Well, gotta go. My ride's here.”

As he’s leaving, he gives Miguel an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Cheer up, dude. I've seen how Sam is around you--she really likes you. I think she'll come around eventually, you know--once you tell her it was an accident and all that. Me, though? I'm screwed.”

He laughs bitterly again, and walks to his car.

As the taillights vanish into the night, Miguel remembers how Demetri looked at Hawk and Moon, kissing by that bonfire. It must've been the same way Miguel looked at Sam and that other boy, walking down that hill with their hands entwined.

Like his heart was ripping in half.