#I like how phoenix takes a moment to appreciate her response

[beyondthesefourwalls]

Remember You Even When I Don't (3)

Summary: A training accident, the doctor had told him. A nasty one that led him here, laying in a hospital bed with a splitting headache and an inability to remember the woman sitting beside him. What he did know, though, was that you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and you felt important to him. That, as it turns out, would become an understatement.

Words: 4.7K

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw/Reader (no use of y/n, so can be read as unnamed oc)

Warnings: angst, hospitals, memory loss, language.

Notes: The response for this continues to blow me away. Thank you all so much! Hearing your thoughts about these two makes me so happy and is so encouraging to write a little bit faster. Please continue to comment and reblog, and my inbox is always open!

This was inspired by a one shot by the lovely @roosterforme and would not exist without her assistance. If you haven't read any of her stuff, please check out her masterlist - you won't be disappointed!

Part Two

_________

He dreamt of sparkling lights and cobblestone streets. When he roused consciousness, he thought he could smell pumpkin candles and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. 

He woke slowly, chasing after the smell and the visuals as they evaporated from his view. He blinked several times, adjusting to the fluorescent light and white walls of his hospital room. 

“Well well well, look who decided to wake up.” 

It took a moment for the words to register in his mind. He looked to his left, where he had grown accustomed to seeing you sitting, only you weren’t there this time. Instead, he saw someone he recognized very well, smirking at him like only she could. 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting,” he grunted out as he adjusted himself on the bed and raised it up so he wasn’t lying down as far, making it easier to look at her. 

“You look like shit,” she continued. 

Bradley snorted. “Thanks, Phoenix. Appreciate that.” 

The smirk on her face fell into a soft smile. She reached out and laid her hand on his, squeezing gently. “It’s good to see you, Rooster.” 

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too,” he nodded, and he meant it. “How…long has it been?” 

Like she usually did, Nat knew exactly what he meant, and he was grateful he didn’t have to explain. “For me? Five days. I hear it may be a little longer for you, though. Based on the date you told the doctor, it’s been six months since I was sent to Korea without you.” 

“Five days? So…” 

“I was in the air with you when you went down,” she confirmed. “We’ve been stationed here together for almost three years.” 

“Lucky you,” he murmured as he rolled this new information over in his head. Learning that he was stationed in San Diego, Fightertown of all places, as part of a permanent detachment at Top Gun was a lot for him. The last place he remembered was D.C. But learning he had been with Phoenix here the whole time, for three years, brought another question to his mind. He took a glance around the room, even though he knew they were alone. 

“We finally talked her into going home and taking a shower about an hour and a half ago. One of the guys might con her into taking a nap, too.” 

The coffee cup from the day prior flashed in his mind again. “We?” 

“Mhm,” She hummed, meeting his eyes again. “It’s not just you and me anymore, Bradshaw. We found ourselves a whole, big ass family here. Imagine that, huh?” 

He could always count on Nat to never beat around the bush with him. He never knew how much he appreciated it until now, when he had never felt so out of the loop before. 

“Anyone I know?” 

She barked out a laugh, her eyes shining with something that looked like mischief. “Oh, Rooster. I don’t know that you’d even believe me if I told you.” 

“That bad, huh?” 

She was still laughing when she leant forward, speaking like she was sharing a secret with him. Bradley supposed that in a way, she was. 

“What would you say if I told you Bagman has been here to visit you everyday?” 

Bradley’s face scrunched up in disbelief, “Good joke.” 

“I told you that you wouldn’t believe me,” she said, her voice very much taking on the I told you so tone that she was so good at. She picked her phone up from her lap, scrolling for a few seconds before handing it over to him. There was a picture displayed on the screen of a group of people all donning their traditional green flight suits with an F/A-18 in the background. And there, right in the middle with his signature smug grin, was Jake fucking Seresin, arm wrapped around Bradley’s own shoulders like it was completely normal to do so. 

“Well I’ll be damned.” 

“Tell me. What’s more shocking? Hangman being your best friend, or finding out you have a wife?” 

She was teasing him, Bradley knew, trying to ease some of the obvious tension in the room. He looked at the picture again, trying to place names with faces. He recognized Payback and Coyote, and Harvard and Yale, but the rest were unfamiliar to him. He studied it for another moment, but no memories came with it. There was a flash of disappointment when he handed her phone back to her. 

“Pretty even, I guess.” 

Despite his words, they both knew it wasn’t really even. He had known Hangman for a decade and the rivalry had never really been more than that. But you, on the other hand…you were something Bradley never anticipated or thought he’d have. He’s still in shock at your existence, still something more than perplexed at how you made him feel even if he knew little more than your name. 

“This is….a lot, Nat. I have a wife. A wife and a whole life I don’t remember.” It was the first time he had said it out loud. His voice cracked, and his eyes stung, but he knew she would never use it against him. “This is crazy.” 

Her face was sympathetic now and she reached back out to hold his hand again. “You’ll get through it, Bradley. I know you will. We’ll all help you. Especially her.” She said it with such certainty that he almost believed her. 

“Can you tell me about her?” he asked her tentatively, and Nat shrugged in response. 

“It’s not my place to tell you your entire love story with her,” she said. Bradley couldn’t hide his disappointment. 

“What I will tell you though,” she continued, and he perked up just the slightest bit, “is that you two are ridiculously happy. And you love one another more than I’ve seen two people be capable of loving one another, and my parents have been married for like 40 years. You, her, and Florence are the perfect little family and we all make fun of you for it on a regular basis but it’s just because we’re jealous.” 

Her words made him feel better, but then he replayed them in his head and felt panic course through his body. The heart monitor beeped a little faster. “Florence? Who is Florence? Nat, do I have a kid?” 

By the way she bursted out laughing, he assumed that no, he did not, or her sense of humor has seriously changed in the last four years that she would find his panic at the thought funny if it were true. 

“No,” she snorted, “not as far as I’m aware. Florence is your cat. You call her Florry, most of the time.” 

His sigh of relief was so deep that it hurt his still very broken ribs, but it was worth it. Waking up to a wife he didn’t remember was one thing. He didn’t know if he could handle forgetting a child on top of that. Hell, he could barely handle all of this as it was. 

“I don’t remember her,” he started, and despite him stating the obvious, Nat was quiet as he worked out his thoughts. “But I feel like I know her. That’s…that’s crazy, right?” 

“I don’t think so,” she shrugged, “You do know her. Better than anyone. Your mind may not remember her, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t.” 

Bradley considered her words for a moment, feeling like he got punched right in his broken ribs. 

“Yeah,” he croaked, “I feel like I do.” 

Phoenix smiled at him sadly, giving him a moment to breathe before she started talking again. She spoke about the last four years of his career. He was stationed in D.C. when he was sent on a six week deployment to Belgium, only to be pulled out of that halfway through for a special mission out of Top Gun. It led to all of those that were called back to form a new unit with this as their homebase. 

“The Dagger Squad?” he questioned with a snort. Natascha hit him gently in his arm, but he winced anyway just to mess with her as they’ve always done. “Ow.” 

“Jokes on you, asshole. You were the first one to say it and it stuck.” 

He groaned. “Of course I was.” 

She talks him through how he was promoted in 2020, nearly a year after being stationed here. Lieutenant Commander Bradley Bradshaw, she had teased. She had since been promoted as well, but he got it before the rest of them. He felt a certain level of satisfaction in that. They had done additional missions together, deploying for mostly short stints when necessary, and had taught a few Top Gun classes of their own. 

Their crew was close, like family. Some of them had been in the air with him when he went down days prior, while the others remained in the tower. They all searched for him and made sure he was found, unwilling and unable to leave him behind.

They had been here everyday since his accident, rotating out in shifts so that you were never alone, staying until the nurses kicked them out at the end of the night. Bob, one of the ones in the photo that Bradley didn’t recognize, had been down in the cafeteria getting you both food when he had woken up the previous morning. It warmed him, knowing you had people here for you when he had been unconscious. That there was someone making sure you ate and drank water and slept. It was important to him that you weren’t alone. 

Coyote and Hangman had been the ones to drive you home this evening. You had agreed only if Phoenix stayed in case he woke up, so that he wasn’t alone. 

“She thought you would appreciate seeing a face you recognized,” she explained, and the thought that you were that considerate nearly took his breath away. He did appreciate it, more than he thought. The two of them talked for a long time, but Bradley felt himself missing you. There was an ache in his chest that was getting harder to ignore. He found himself looking toward the door and at the clock near the window. The sun had gone down hours ago. When the nurse came in a little while ago to check on him, she had warned Nat that visiting hours were almost over. 

“Everything alright?” Nat asked him, noticing how his gaze was wandering and he was taking longer pauses between responding to her. “Pain okay?” 

There was an ever present ache in his head and his ribs hurt, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. It wasn’t what he was focused on right now. 

You were upset when you had left the room earlier. He still wanted to know who you were talking to and what the doctor had said to you and to just know you. He was starting to get anxious that you weren’t coming back. 

He didn’t like the thought. Your presence soothed something. Anytime you were in the room with him, he felt a little less outside of his own skin. You had said the day before that there was nowhere else you would be than beside him, so he had to believe you wouldn’t leave him alone tonight. 

“Fine,” he muttered, deciding to keep the thoughts to himself, too embarrassed to ask after where you were and when you were coming back. He suspected that Nat saw right through him, but gracefully, she moved on. Even when another thirty minutes had passed and the nurse came in again, informing the two of them that visiting hours were over and she was hugging him goodbye as gently as she could, he didn’t say anything. 

When the door closed behind her, he realized it was the first time he had been alone since he woke up in this bed the morning before. Being on his own had never bothered him before. He had always preferred solitude over anything else, yet this felt strangely empty. Lonely, even. Your face was there at the forefront of his mind. He found himself wondering what you were doing right now. If you had ended up taking that nap at home and if you were okay. His heart ached remembering the broken look in your eyes yesterday when he didn’t know who you were and how distraught you looked with the doctors and nurses earlier. 

He wished he would have had the thought to ask Phoenix for your phone number. He had no idea where his own cell phone was, but the old corded phone in the hospital room could certainly dial out if he needed to reach you. 

He wondered if this same sense of longing had happened so quickly the first time around, too. 

He wasn’t sure how much time passed as he thought about you, but his ears picked up on hurried footsteps making their way to his door. They barely paused before it was thrown open, but grabbed before it could hit off the wall. 

The tightness in his chest eased when he saw you. You paused in the doorway when you saw he was awake and looking at you. 

You looked more frazzled than he had ever seen you, not that that was a lot, but it still unsettled him. 

“Are you-” 

“I’m so sorry,” you blurted, making your way into the room after you gently closed the door, almost as to make up for your brash opening of it. The notion almost made him smile. “I went home to take a shower so you could talk to Nat and I ended up falling asleep. I didn’t mean to be gone for this long.” 

“It’s alright,” he assured you, but the frazzled look didn’t go away. Seeing it made him forget all about how distraught he almost was that you weren’t here. “Try and convince me differently all you want, but I bet an actual bed was a lot better than this chair. I’m glad you got some sleep.” 

You gave him a small smile and it made him feel something akin to pride to be the cause of it. 

The smile slipped after a moment. You twisted your ring on your finger, your eyes cautious. You looked small, and he didn’t like that. You cleared your throat before speaking. 

“Your doctor, he uh, he told me I should give you some space. That I might be overwhelming for you? But I didn’t want you to be alone. That’s why I had Nat come, but non-family members can’t stay overnight so…”

A flash of anger hit them then. He had known when you walked back into his hospital room when the doctor had requested your presence outside that he had said something to you. He should have known after he had made the comment about you leaving the room during his consultation that it was something to do with that. 

“He didn’t have a right to say that to you.”

“Bradley-“

“Just because I don’t remember you doesn’t mean you don’t exist,” he said, his voice firm, and he heard the breath you sucked in. 

His tone softened with his next words, “And even if I don’t understand it, I want you here. I mean…as long as you still want to be?”

It didn’t occur to him, before, that maybe this was too much for you. He was your husband who had been in the hospital for a week who woke up not remembering who you were. Maybe you needed some space. But you were nodding your head before he could overthink it too much. 

“I do. I told you, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. But I want to do what’s going to be best for you more, okay? I know you don’t know me enough to trust me right now, but I need you to promise me that if it ever is too overwhelming for me to be here, you tell me, okay?” 

That was the thing. He did trust you. It was a feeling deeply rooted in his bones that he could trust you with anything. 

“I promise,” he said instead of telling you what he was really feeling. The emotions were too raw, too jumbled, and he hadn’t made sense of them yet. 

“Alright,” you nodded. You finally made your way from where you had been standing at the end of his hospital bed over to the chair beside it. A pressure lifted off of him when you sat down. 

Yes, he thought, that’s better. 

“How was your visit with Phoenix?” you asked, kicking your tennis shoes off and curling your legs up underneath you. You were in another pair of black leggings and another oversized pullover, UPENN displayed across the front of the dark gray material. Your hair was down again, and he decided he liked how the color looked against your skin as you pushed it out of your eyes. You raised your eyebrows at him and he realized he must have been staring. 

He cleared his throat, fighting off reddening cheeks. Damn. 

“It was good,” he admitted. “She caught me up a lot; told me about being stationed out here and the squad we’re on. She kinda laid out the last four years of my career for me.” 

“Congrats on your promotion,” you joked, and Bradley found himself letting out a surprised chuckle at your humor. 

“Did she say anything specific? About the mission you were called for that got you stationed here?” you asked. Bradley shook his head. 

“She didn’t go into many details. Why?” You let out a long, low breath, and Bradley felt his stomach knot. “Is there something else I should know about it?” 

“Yes,” you nodded, “and it may not be easy for you to hear, but..well, it’s important. Kind of a big part of the last three years of your life.” 

That could mean a lot of things. He tried to stamp down all the worst case scenarios that played around in his head and watched you fiddle with the phone in your hand. You paused, took a breath, and then handed it over to him. Your fingers brushed against his when you did and the spark it sent through him made him take a second to realize what it is he was looking at. His breath caught in his throat when he did. 

Staring back at him was the two of you. You were both smiling, clearly happy, with you tucked into his side like you belonged there. On his other side, he had his arm thrown around the neck of someone he hadn’t seen in years. At least that he could remember. He couldn’t pinpoint what he was feeling. A decades worth of anger and bitterness, he supposed, but the underlying hurt and regret that he always tried to not acknowledge were there too. If he focused hard enough, there was even the smallest flicker of hope. 

“I don’t understand,” he muttered, still staring at the picture. 

“You asked me earlier who Pete was, when you saw the name on my coffee cup,” you reminded him, “not many people call him that, but I do.”

You went on to tell him an abridged version of what sounded like a mission report. Mav was their mission leader and he was his wingman. He got shot down trying to save him, and Bradley disobeyed direct orders to go find him, where he was then shot down trying to save him. It ended fine. They clearly made it out, with some assistance, and had taken a lot of time to work through things. They had completely rebuilt their relationship in the last three years and by the looks of them in this picture, it was hard not to believe you when you said they were stronger than ever. 

“I know how badly he hurt you, and that hearing this might bring up those feelings,” you whispered, your voice sympathetic but not pitying, which was something he appreciated more than he could say, “but the two of you love each other so much. When the time came, you were ready to forgive him. It may be hard to believe, but I wouldn’t lie to you about this. I promise. He’s family. To both of us.”

“He’s been here?” Bradley brought himself to ask, and though he already knew the answer based on the sharpied evidence on a plastic coffee cup, the nod you gave him in response winded him. 

“Everyday,” you confirmed. 

Bradley nods slowly, processing your words. 

“I don’t…know that I’m ready to see him,” he finally said. 

“That’s okay,” you assured him immediately, “you don’t have to right now. But I didn’t want to keep it from you, okay? I don’t want to keep anything from you.” 

He looked away from the phone he had been staring at to meet your eyes, and he knew that you were being sincere. Your eyes were earnest, your expression open, and he was blown away that anyone so beautiful would look at him like that. He let out a breath that was shakier than he would want to admit before he handed your phone back to you. 

“Are you tired?” you asked him, and he shrugged his shoulders. He was, truthfully, but this was the longest conversation the two of you have had; he wasn’t ready for it to end. 

“Tell me something else,” he said instead. 

“What would you like to know?” you asked, clicking your phone off and setting it on the table near his bed. 

“You,” he said instantly, not needing any time to think and not second guessing his honesty, “I want to know you. Us.” 

Your smile was shy, and your cheeks bloomed again, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth as you nodded. His heart raced in his chest again. “Alright.” 

______

Listening to your voice had quickly become one of his favorite things. The two of you talked for a long time that night, and he grasped onto every detail you gave him. 

You were a few years younger than him. You worked in journalism, covering politics and policy, for the most part completely remote from your home here in San Diego. You grew up in Philadelphia (the Eagles sweatshirt was yours) and were the only child of only children. You weren’t overly close with your parents, but you didn’t seem bothered by it, either. You loved spicy food and sour beers, and things always got a little interesting when you indulged in too much white wine. You had adopted Florence, the adorable brown tabby that you proudly showed him pictures of, when you moved to DC all on your own, and Bradley was apparently the only man the cat tolerated. 

The two of you hosted board game nights or dinner parties on a regular basis, and it had surprisingly only ended in a physical fight between him and Hangman once in the last three years. 

The night nurse came in for her rounds and was surprised to see him still awake, but he refused additional pain medication when she offered it because he wasn’t ready for how they would inevitably put him to sleep. 

He wanted to know everything about you. 

“Tell me how we met?” He requested. 

Your smile was soft, like you liked how the memory made you feel. 

“We were both subjected to the ‘single guest with no date’ table at a wedding,” you revealed. Bradley wracked his brain and remembered a save the date he had sloppily stuck to his fridge in his DC apartment. He asked if that was the one you were referencing and your smile grew as you confirmed it. 

“We met in Philadelphia?” 

“We did,” you laughed, “which is incredibly ironic, considering we were both living in DC at the time.”

It sounded more like fate, but Bradley kept those thoughts to himself for now. 

“Did I ask you to dance?” he asked, almost certain of the answer considering where they ended up years later, but to his surprise, you shook your head. His eyes widened. “You’re kidding.” 

“I’m not,” you swore with a chuckle.

“I was at the same table with you and I didn’t even ask you to dance?”

You threw your head back with a full laugh, and Bradley was sure if they pulled the data from the monitor he was still hooked up to, it would show that his heart skipped a beat at the sight. 

“The rest of the people at the table were admittedly not that nice, and when we realized that we weren’t that bad, we ended up escaping and sitting outside at one of the cocktail hour tables for the majority of the night.”

He wished he could remember what you looked like that night. He wondered what color dress you wore, and if you had your hair up or down, when he was apparently not dancing with you.

“That seems like a crime,” you flushed at the words he mumbled mostly to himself. 

It was difficult for him to comprehend that he had someone in his life like you, but it wasn’t hard at all to see how he fell in love with you as quickly as he must have. You were beautiful outwardly, but he was seeing you were even more so inwardly, as well. You were funny and witty and kept him on his toes, and he was sure he hadn’t even scratched the surface of you yet. 

The more he learned, the more infatuated he became. 

It was nearing two in the morning when your yawning became more frequent amongst your conversation. Watching your face scrunch up every time it happened was adorable, and he wondered if you were as unwilling to go to sleep as he was. The bubble of storytelling you had found yourself in was warm and comforting, but he finally took pity when you started rubbing your eyes under your glasses. The urge to somehow take care of you was brewing inside of him. He wanted to be selfish, but he had kept you up long enough. 

“We should get some sleep,” he murmured. Your hair fell in your eyes when you nodded and he found himself wanting to tuck it behind your ear for you. 

“Are you in any pain?” you asked. You were worrying for him, despite how tired you obviously were. He had been shown more concern in the last 48 hours than he could remember getting in the last decade; his heart ached at the thought. 

“It’s not so bad right now.”

“I can get the nurse.” You were already rising to do so, and before he could stop himself, he reached out to grab your arm. You froze from your position half raised out of the chair. Your wide eyes flickered down to his hand before meeting his again. 

Bradley swallowed deeply, but didn’t let go. He couldn’t stop his thumb from gently rubbing your skin through the thick material of your sweatshirt. 

“I’m okay,” he whispered, “promise.”

The breath you let out was shaky, but you nodded. Without disconnecting from him, you pulled your chair just the slightest bit closer to his bed with your other hand, but you didn’t move to sit down yet. Instead, you took a step closer and leaned down to press a gentle kiss against his forehead. Your scent invaded his senses and he suddenly felt dizzy again for a completely different reason. You lingered for a moment and he reveled in it.

“Thank you,” he didn’t quite know what he was thanking you for, but he needed to say it. His voice was thick all of a sudden, feeling overwhelmed with the influx of emotions he was feeling. 

You just smiled at him, and he released the hold he had on your arm so you could settle back into the chair that had become your temporary residence for the last week. 

“Goodnight, Bradley.”

-------

Notes: Things are starting to pick up with these two! The next part is when we really get into the fun stuff, I think :)

Tagging those who asked or interacted. I think I caught everyone, but I'm very new to this so apologies if I missed you! Please let me know if you'd like to be added or taken off this list :)

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[vivalas-vega]

boyfriend / natasha ‘phoenix’ trace x reader

this is porn. this is literally porn with minimal plot based on boyfriend by dove cameron. sorry to my jake girlies, he’s not portrayed the nicest in this lol I love him I really do but..... I just have thoughts about phoenix. this is my psa that my requests are open for nat, send them all my way pls n thx

boyfriend / natasha ‘phoenix’ trace x reader

add yourself to my taglist

word count: 1.8k

warnings: drinking, infidelity, as mentioned porn with minimal plot, oral (f-receiving), a little bit of edging

Your boyfriend’s arm felt heavy slung around your waist as you sat at the bar ordering a drink. The energy in the club was infectious and the energy of your group even more so as everyone celebrated Rooster’s birthday. You ordered something strong, something to loosen you up, something to hopefully make you enjoy your surroundings. You felt fingers trail down your arm before gripping your hand and you turned to see Phoenix looking at you with that look that had you rising from your seat and following her in an instant to the dance floor, vaguely gesturing behind you at Jake to join you. You let the alcohol do its job, washing over you and lowering your inhibitions as you danced with your friends, leaning against Jake as he swayed behind you. Your skin felt hot and a grin never left your face, hips moving to the beat and getting lost in the moment.

Two drinks turned to three, then four and then your group was somehow meandering to the Hard Deck just like you always did, the home base… Penny had given you all looks of disappointment at your varying ranges of inebriation and disarray but poured your drinks anyways as you settled in to close out the night. You’d started by Jake’s side but slowly as the evening progressed he got more and more invested in his conversations with Coyote, or Rooster, or Bob and you found yourself shrinking back and claiming a seat near the bar, your absence being missed by your boyfriend as you watched him for a moment before mindlessly scrolling on your phone and waiting for last call so you could drag him home. 

“Didn’t think I’d find you not glued to his side tonight,” Phoenix said and it stirred something in your chest, you didn’t know if you should be defensive or shrug it off.

“Taking a breather,” you decided to respond and she nodded as she slid into the booth beside you. You felt the hair on the back of your neck rise as she looked you over appreciatively, “didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier but you really look beautiful tonight.” she said and your cheeks burned under the praise, unsure of how to accept it.

“Thank you,” you said softly, taking a moment to look at her and you felt struck by how stunning she was. You’d always admired her. Her cool and collected demeanor was alluring and her sharp gaze had captivated you on countless occasions but her proximity made it feel all the more overwhelming. “You look beautiful tonight too, always do.” you added and she softly smiled. 

“Did you really need a breather or is there another reason you’re not over with your boyfriend right now?” she asked and you again didn’t know how to feel about the statement. 

“Didn’t think he’d miss me,” you said and she hummed in response.

“Don’t know how he couldn’t,” she replied and your eyebrows furrowed as her fingers trailed your arm for the second time this evening… to the outside eye it would look innocent, like two friends drunk and spilling life stories in a secluded booth but on the inside there was something bubbling beneath the surface, just about to reach its boiling point. “If I were him, I’d never leave you alone,” she said, eyes holding yours intently and you wanted to look away but you couldn’t.

“Why is that?” you asked.

“Pretty girl sitting all alone in a booth near last call? Someone else might swoop in,” she said and you let out a laugh though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Especially you, he should know better than to ever take his attention off you… I know I don’t,” she whispered the last part and goosebumps rose on your skin. Her fingers were still drawing absentminded patterns against your skin and it felt like she was leaving fire in their wake. 

“You don’t?” you asked and you felt dumb, but you were having a hard time conjuring anything else when she was holding your gaze the way she was, touching you so innocently that you felt ridiculous for feeling so affected. 

She shook her head and removed her fingers from your arm to trail across your cheekbone before pushing strands of hair behind your ear and you leaned into the touch, “never… can’t seem to take my eyes off you.” she said and you flushed again. She smirked at the response, clearly enjoying how little it took to wrap you around her finger. “If I’m not reading into things I recall you not being able to take your eyes off me either,” she accused and you felt stripped bare, eyes widening at the truth her words held and she chuckled.

“I’m sorry-” you started, looking down to your palms but her finger hooked under your chin and forced your eyes back to hers.

“I’m not,” she said and you missed her touch when she pulled her hand back… she noticed and instead placed it on your thigh. Her fingers danced higher, slipping under the hem of your skirt and your breath caught in your throat, heart pounding so loud it clouded your hearing and your mind felt dizzy at how little it took for her to wind you up so tight.

“Jake is…” you sighed, not knowing how to finish that sentence and she glanced over to your friends briefly before returning her attention to you.

“Not wondering where you are,” she said, and you thought those words should have hurt you… the fact that he was so preoccupied elsewhere that in the past twenty minutes he hadn’t thought to check where you’d gone. She raised her other hand to cup your jaw and pull you closer as she whispered in your ear, “besides… I can be a much better boyfriend than him.” Her fingers gripped the soft skin of your thighs and you leaned into her. Her perfume was intoxicating, sandalwood and jasmine, and when you leaned back slightly to look in her eyes suddenly there was no one else in this bar. You leaned forward tentatively, letting your lips brush against hers and you felt electricity thrumming in your veins as she surged forward and captured you in a kiss. She tasted like tequila and peppermint and you wanted more, you gently bit her bottom lip before you pulled back and suddenly she was gripping your wrist and tugging you out of the booth to someplace more private.

The bathroom door swung shut behind you and she pressed you against it in an instant, locking it as she did and it was a clash of tongues and teeth as you desperately tried to pull her closer. She led you by the waist to the bathroom sink and slid her hands underneath your ass to lift you onto it. You wrapped your legs around her and dipped your head back as she kissed down your neck, leaving traces of her lipstick in her wake but you didn’t seem to care. Her touch was gentle but firm, caressing you in all the right ways as she sank to the floor and pushed your skirt up to your waist. You thought to yourself that you should be stopping this, you should be going back to your boyfriend and trying to forget this ever happened but you wanted the way she was looking up at you as she spread your legs apart to be burned into your memory forever. Her fingers trailed over your clothed heat delicately as she placed kisses along your thighs and you bucked into her touch, whining as she teased you and you could feel her lips curl into a smirk against your skin.

“I’d be willing to bet he can’t get you this worked up,” she said and you moaned as she applied pressure to your clit. She was right… he couldn’t, no one had ever had you so close to careening off a ledge before they’d even properly touched you. “Such a shame,” she whispered, tugging your underwear down your legs and you shivered as the cold air hit your already soaked cunt. She moaned against you as she licked a stripe through your folds, savoring the taste of you and your hands instinctively went to thread through her silky hair and push it away from her face as you bucked against her. “So responsive,” she cooed, tongue circling your clit and you fought to stifle the sound that threatened to rip through you. 

“Phoenix,” you sighed as she expertly licked and sucked at you, using a hand to steady your hips and keep you from falling off the counter. You whined as you felt a finger press into your entrance, then two and your hand flew to cover your mouth when she began massaging that spot inside you that had pleasure radiating through every nerve ending. This was all so new and foreign but felt so right as she worked you up, pulling back slightly to tease you as your walls began clenching around her fingers.

“Poor thing, wound up so tight, already going to cum for me?” she taunted and you let out a soft groan as she lightly flicked her tongue across your sensitive bundle of nerves, body jolting and writhing as she instead focused on sucking marks into your thighs, fingers shallowly thrusting into you before pulling out completely to shove her fingers in your mouth and you eagerly closed around them, sucking off every trace of yourself. She lifted her head briefly to watch and moaned at the sight before returning to her worship of your soft skin and your chest heaved as your hips wiggled, your body yearning for her to touch you again as you felt your arousal dripping down your legs. She kissed her way back to your clit and you gasped when she sucked it into her mouth and pushed her fingers back into you, curling and thrusting just right as your eyes rolled back. 

Heat was prickling across your skin as you tried to keep quiet but all you wanted to do was scream her name as you felt the tension begin to grow and she moaned against you when she felt you clenching around her fingers, the vibration sending jolts through your body. She slid her free hand up your body to intertwine her fingers with yours and your legs shook around her head as your climax overtook you, pure ecstasy flooding through your veins and clouding your vision as she worked you through it, lapping up everything you had to give her. She pulled away when you jerked back at the overstimulation and stood where you pulled her in for a kiss, tasting yourself on her and wrapping your legs around her again. 

“I’m going home… I think you should ditch your boyfriend and meet me there,” she said, stepping back and giving you a smirk as she wiped her face and left you alone in the bathroom reeling, body still trembling and aching for her in her absence. You slid off the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and wiping at your smudged lipstick before walking out of the bathroom and out of the bar without even looking back.

[saltsicklover]

Part Five

You guys, thank you so much for all the love on this series! I see your comments and tags, and I just want you to know that I do! Thank you for interacting. I want to reply but I don't know how to do so without using my personal blog. Anyway, just know that I see you and I appreciate you! Happy Reading!

Title: Once an Asshole, Always an Asshole

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3100+

Rating: R

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, Pining Hangman, Crying, Nat throwing herself from a moving vehicle, Sunny finding out about The Bet.

Second Chance Romance!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bob Floyd, or anything related to Top Gun Maverick within this piece. Not Proof Read or BETA'd. All mistakes are my own.

I do not consent for my work to be edited, reposted, or translated.

You are responsible for your own media consumption. This is a work of fiction that may contain mature themes. If you are sensitive to those subjects, please do not read.

---

Hangman watches Sunny for a few moments, taking in the soft features of her face as she watches the point where the sunset meets the waves. He notices the numerous earrings that decorate the expanse of her ear, the jewelry glittering in the sunset. He traces the jewels with his eyes, fighting the urge to move the piece of hair that has fallen in front of her ear. 

Hangman sighs, running a hand down his face, attempting to regain some composure. He continues to remind himself that this is not a date, Sunny is not here for him. Jake wonders if Phoenix would ever forgive him for making a move- the thought of thinking before acting on impulse almost new to Jake. 

He gives her another moment to sit before breaking the silence- he tells himself it's for her, but really, he wants to sit there and look at her for just a moment longer. Jake doesn't know what it is, but he can't seem to take his eyes off of her, something resonating from her aura that just draws him in without her even trying. 

He almost reaches over the bench seat to take her hand in his, just to feel the heat of her soft palm in his again, but he shoves the desire down, letting it sit deep in his stomach almost aching. So, he speaks, to keep himself from doing something stupid- something he can't take back. 

"You ready to get the party started?" He smirks, fingers unbuckling his seatbelt. She follows suit, the seatbelt unclicking before retracting behind her right shoulder. Hangman slides out of his side of the truck before winding around the front and over to her door. He pulls it open and offers a hand to Sunny. She rolls her eyes, sliding out, then hitting his out turned hand on the back with her own, smacking it away. 

"I was trying to be polite," Jake rolls his eyes, nothing but playful jest behind them, though he aches to feel her skin against his again, "My Mama would smack me if I was anything but polite to a lady while she gets out of a vehicle,"

"Looks like she raised you right," Sunny moves around him and down the bed of the truck. She grabs the side of the bed before planting one foot on the tire, pulling herself up into the bed with one swift motion. Hangman watches her with delight, taking note of the mismatched piercings that cover her other ear. "Too bad I was raised by my Uncle Remy, who taught me to never trust a man, "'cuz he's never met a man who wasn't playin' games","

"I never said that I wasn't playin'," Hangman watches as she roots around in her duffel. He takes in the way the tip of her tongue juts out from between her teeth, her eyes drifting to the side in concentration while she searches through the bag by touch alone. When she pulls her hand out, she grasps a magic marker and a handful of red "Hello My Name Is" stickers. 

Jake quirks a brow, watching as she balances a nametag on her knee, marker cap held between her front teeth as she scribbles something across the tag. She quickly peels the tag from its backing before slapping it to her chest, smack on her left breast, her name and a small doodle of the sun adorn it. She moves to the next tag, the beginning of an 'H' being written before Jake speaks again. 

"You do realize we wear our names on our uniforms, right?" Sunny's eyes drop Jake's chest, his last name printed in crisp white letters on the black plastic tag. 

"Seresin, huh?" Her words are muffled a bit by the marker cap that's still placed between her teeth. Her hands move, eyes still locked on him. He beams with pride, smirk a little larger than before. 

"Yes, Ma'am, that's me," Sunny caps the marker as she pushes herself to stand again, "That's why it's on my chest," He lets his finger trace the underside of the perfectly placed nameplate.

Sunny takes the chance to throw herself over the side of the pickup, landing loudly next to Hangman. He jumps back a bit at the suddenness of her movement and how she moved with such ease, eyes darting around her form, checking for any sign of distress. As quick as his eyes snap to her, a sticky nametag is pressed crookedly over the already pristine one on his chest. It reads "Hanged Man" in sloppy letters, a little doodle of a stick figure in the space next to it, the same kind of stick figure children use for the game Hangman. It's clever, really, but he glares down at it anyway. 

"That's more correct, I think," She pats him again on the chest, right in the middle of his sturdy frame, a proud look on her face. There is a playfulness behind her eyes and it drives Hangman a bit more crazy. He hopes that she didn't feel the quickening of his heart under her palm. 

She pulls her hand back as quickly as it was pressed against his chest. He almost reached out to grasp her wrist, to bring her hand back up to rest over his heart. Thankfully, he catches himself mid movement, instead, bringing his hand up to run through his hair. 

Jake knows this woman will be the death of him, from the way she throws smirks around, to the red of her dress and down to the worn in cowboy boots. He's smitten, more than enough to put his best game forward for a chance at taking her home. He almost forgot she was there for Phoenix, almost, until a loud shriek pulls him out of his Sunny induced daydream. 

He turns to see Phoenix practically throwing herself out of Rooster's Bronco, the vehicle still in the process of slowing down as she throws herself out of it. The nametags and marker are thrust into his hands as Sunny moves to round the bed of the truck. 

The women move quickly, embracing each other with too much force. They would've ended up on the ground if Sunny hadn't braced herself for the impact of Natasha's body against her own. There is a mess of laughter and tears, the women pulling back to look each other in the face before pulling each other close again. 

Hangman watches as tears spill down Natasha's face, her eyes scrunched together. This is the first time he has seen Natasha cry. It humanizes her. Her hard exterior breaking apart, glimpses of her true self now visible through the cracks. 

The women rock back and fourth, spinning themselves around in a circle. Natasha is whispering to Sunny- Jake is too far away to make out the words. Then, his eyes catch Sunny's face, slick with tears but the look on her face is nothing but pure contentment. This is the first time Jake has ever seen a woman cry without pain marking the face. This repeats for a couple minutes, Hangman standing there next to the truck, watching women he barely knows, cling to each other like they might float away if they let go. Rooster's clapping Hangman on the back to signal his presence, pulling the Aviator from his thoughts. 

"Let's go get some beers, give them a minute," Rooster speaks, motioning towards the door. Hangman nods an agreement and they move towards the front door, leaving the women to embrace in the parking lot. 

"Oh my God, let me look at you," Phoenix cries, pushing Sunny back to peer into her eyes. They are full of tears, threatening to overflow as Phoenix's own dart around her face with her watery gaze before she is quickly pulling Sunny right back into her chest whispering 'oh, come here'.  

"Nash, you are gonna kill me if you squeeze me any tighter!" Sunny almost has to claw Natasha further away from her body, but when they finally separate, Sunny brings her hands up to wipe tears from her best friend's cheeks. 

Sunny lets her eyes dart around her friend's features, taking in the darkness of her eyes first. They are richer than the soil, with so much life within them, glittering gold in the sun. She brings a hand up to run her fingers over the slicked back hair on the side of Nat's head, right over her ear. Sunny traces the hair a few times, taking in the sharp corners of her brows, letting her eyes travel down to the sharpness of her jaw. 

"You're beautiful, Nash, you know that, right?" Sunny compliments, giving her friend's shoulders a squeeze. 

"Oh shut it," Nat laughs a bit, her cheeks tinted with a slight blush, "You are too," 

"Of course I am, what do you expect?" The women both stifle laughs, the joy continuing to bubble out of the pair. 

"Come on, lets get some drinks and I'll introduce you to Rooster," Natasha grabs Sunny's hand firmly, lacing their fingers together and pulling her towards the door, "How was the ride down with Hangman? Did he behave himself?" 

The women push into the bar and Sunny barely gets a chance to glace around before she is being pulled to the back of the large room, near an expansive set of windows with a perfect view of the sunset. Sunny lets her eyes catch the sunset for a brief second before turning back to Natasha. 

"He was fine, kept his hands to himself. I can't say the same thing about his eyes, but a fine man like him can look at me anytime," Sunny laughs as Natasha's face crinkles up in disgust. 

There is no awkwardness between the women. They behave like they have known each other for a lifetime, and in a way, they have known each other for some of the most important years of their lives. Sunny was there for every deployment and rank change and every course Natasha passed. Nat was there for Sunny when her first book got published, and then again for the next two. She has them on her book shelf, displayed proudly. 

"Hangman, seriously?" She fake gags, grimacing. 

"What? I said look, not touch," She nudges her friend's shoulder with her own, earning a half laugh from the other. "He's not my type, but it's nice to be noticed by a conventionally attractive man, okay! Even if he does look like some Mattel reject for the Ken Doll," 

"Who looks like a rejected Ken doll?" A voice breaks through the laughter. Sunny looks away from Natasha to see a sandy haired man, clad with a porn 'stache, looking too hot for his own good. He is looking up from the tabletop, magic marker in hand. 

Sunny leans over to whisper in Natasha's ear, "Oh, my God, what is with all the hotties?" The comment makes Natasha turn a light shade of pink as she stifles a laugh behind her hand. 

"Hanged Man does," Sunny replies simply, turning her attention back to the new man, earning a hearty snort from him in return. 

"Oh, Darlin', you wound me," Hangman places a hand over his heart, feigning pain with a hearty grimace. All he earns is three distinct eye rolls from the group as he turns to walk towards the bar. 

"I'm Bradley," The new man interrupts, holding a hand out towards Sunny, a wide smile on his face. 

"Sunny," She shakes his hand, making sure to squeeze it tight. 'Folks remember good handshakes', the words play in her head.

"I gathered as much," Bradley sends a look to Nat, a small smirk on his lips, "This one hasn't stopped talking about you since she found out you were making your way to Fighter Town," 

"That's okay," Sunny smiles brightly, "I talk about her all the time too, I'm sure the guys at work are tired of hearing about her." 

Natasha chuckles a bit, pulling Sunny in for another hug. Bradley puts his attention back to the tabletop where he is making his own nametag. The sight makes Sunny's smile a thousand watts brighter.

"I can't decide if I should draw a mustache or a dick on this," He speaks, gesturing down to the nametag, his cheeks sucked in in concentration. Sunny peeks over his shoulder, the nametag already reading "Rooster" in bold strokes. Nat looks too. 

"Dick, definitely," The ladies respond at the same time. 

"Oh my God, you better not do that all night," Hangman speaks, stealing the attention away from Rooster's new artistic endeavor. He holds four beers, two in glasses and two in cans, as well as a glass with dark liquid fizzing away inside. 

"I can't make any promises," Natasha informs, taking the glass and a beer from Hangman. She hands Sunny the glass, her hands working before her brain, almost like they have done this exact thing a thousand times before. Probably because she is used to handing the glass to Bob. 

"I didn't know if you drank, so I got you a beer, and a Coke," Hangman gestures to the glass, "It's a Pepsi, sorry, its San Diego, y'know?"

"Didn't you just say it was a Coke?" Sunny quirks an eyebrow, bringing the beverage up to her nose to give it a sniff. Definitely not a coke. 

"Ignore, him," Bradley interjects, "He's from Texas so all Soda is a Coke to him, then they specify. It's stupid," 

"Well, I don't drink, so the thought was very sweet, thank you Jake," Sunny nods, raising the glass to him, "However, the 'Coke' first thing is dumb," and then she turns to Bradley, "And counterpoint, so is 'soda', where I'm from, we call it a 'pop'!" 

"A pop?" The three Aviators speak in unison, sharing slightly bewildered looks with one another. 

"The only other lunatic that calls a soda a 'pop' is Bob," Rooster reminds the group, his explanation complete with air quotes. 

"Yeah!" Sunny is equally as bewildered at the thought, "Because the can makes a pop sound when you open it?" She explains it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. The Aviators "ahh" in unison, but at very different pitches, Sunny isn't sure anyone believes her explanation. "I'm just glad it's a Pepsi, honestly," 

Hangman looks offended, his mouth slack, eyebrows down. 

"Texas," Rooster and Phoenix chime, each shaking their head side to side, much like one would while disciplining a child. 

"So, Nash," Sunny slings her arm over her best friends shoulders, bringing the cup to her own lips with the other hand, "Where is this famous Bob I am supposed to meet?" 

"Oh! He offered to stay back and finish the maintenance on the jet so I could get out here and meet you! He should be here in an hour or so," 

"He better be, he's usually the D.D.," Rooster sends a wink Hangman's way before he is reprimanded by Natasha. 

"Nope, don't even think about it, boys! He is our ride, remember? That was the deal, breakfast burritos in exchange for getting him off of D.D. duty this week," 

The boys whine about it, mentioning that the burritos better be worth it, and that's when Nat leans into Sunny's side, whispering that they just might have to make the boys breakfast burritos now. Sunny agrees with a roll of her eyes, pleased to be getting roped into the shenanigans right off the bat. 

"Or maybe, you guys can use your portion of the bet winnings to buy some burritos for yourselves," Nat speaks, the idea popping into her mind. "I really don't want to cook for your asses more than I already do," 

"Bet?" Sunny inquires. 

"Oh right, the bet, I almost forgot," Bradley speaks, a wide grin falling over his lips.

"I hadn't forgotten," Jake interjects, "I knew from the moment I saw her that we'd won,"

Sunny is even more confused now, looking at Natasha for some sort of clue. 

"You didn't tell her?" Jake asks, a bit surprised. Phoenix just shakes her head, a blush coming to life on her cheeks and over the tips of her ears. She hasn't blushed this much in a long, long time, but the warmth that spreads over her features also warms her heart a bit. 

"What did you do?" Sunny asks, grabbing her friends shoulder. The gesture is playful, but Sunny attempts to make a serious face. It cracks when the corner of her lip quirks up just a bit, alluding to the smile she is holding back. 

"We- the squad- sort of bet on if youwouldbehotornot" The last few words come out all together, mumbled under Nat's breath. She tried her best to cover them up, but Sunny wears a stern expression that reads 'try again'.

"We took bets on if you would be hot or not, since we didn't know what you looked like," Natasha explains a bit sheepishly, feeling a bit ashamed about it now. "In my defense, it was Rooster's idea."

"And you won?" Sunny asks. The group nods. "Great, then what's my cut?" 

"Your cut?" Jake's a bit taken aback, his eyebrows jumping to his hairline. A wide smile has broken his usual smirk, the joy he is feeling no longer tucked behind a well rehearsed exterior. 

"Yeah, my cut. You bet on me, and you won, because I am hot as fuck, and I think I deserve my share because I delivered," Sunny's explanation is nonchalant as she sips on her Pepsi. The Daggers break out into fits of laughter, their eyes squeezing shut, each wearing a bright smile. 

Sunny worries for a second as the Daggers stare at her, smiling. She worries she might have said the wrong thing, gone too far with a group who doesn't know her humor. 

"I knew I liked you for a reason," Natasha wraps her arm around Sunny, bringing her close yet again. The words comfort Sunny instantly. 

"You like me for a lot of reasons," Her elbow meets the space between Nat's ribs, "Including the fact that I have continued to put up with your shenanigans for the last ten years. Remember when you were twenty-six and you met that couple outside the-" 

Hangman and Rooster's eyes snap up to meet Sunny's, Natasha's hands coming up to conseal the words coming out of her friend's mouth. She is shaking her head violently, begging Sunny to quit talking, her eyes wide. Sunny tries to lean away from the hands on her face, a couple of words coming out unmuffled. 'Chevy' 'Cherry Flavored' and 'Inches' are the only words the boys could clearly make out, leaving them more confused than they began as Natasha's whole body flushed a deep raspberry, no doubt reliving the memory in her head. 

Sunny sat there laughing, her hands around her friend's wrists, keeping her upright as she began to cackle, her whole body shaking with laughter. Everything feels right between the four, the laughter ringing out through the air. 

[nico-esoterica]

Cardi's Self Worth Awakening (Astro Analysis x Surprise Channeling) ✨

Disclaimer: I did not expect Cardi's energy to just come rushing in to tell me everything but apparently..that happened as you read along.

I love the way the eclipse season finishing up in Cardi's chart w/ Libra/Aries is helping her fully realize her worth. We're seeing a massive shift w/ this where many in her position are having wake up calls more than ever due to Saturn in Pisces because it makes us what's aware of the wrong that needs to be exorcised or rectified. With Pluto transgressing back into Capricorn one final time w/ said Saturn ruling it, for some, it's about demolishing structures where we were taught we needed to save space and handle business as usual that can't be tolerated any longer.

Belacalis was born on a full moon in Libra-Aries and is experiencing a Mars Return in Cancer. This eclipse season will be all about her vocalizing and expressing the years of pent up rage she was made to endure. It'll feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes best case scenario. Especially since her Juno's also being hit since it's also in Cancer. There's a lot of 'aha' moments she's been feeling in private. She's wanted to pull away but I'm intuitively getting that the timing just wasn't right and she needed time to properly process and let him go. She has a tendency to want to not only fight for her family, as she should, but fight to hold onto things which don't want her anymore.

There's an insecure attachment issue and as a Cancer placement we have a tendency to just keep things and people around that hurt us but that pain is familiar and brings us comfort. We often don't realize how dangerous it is. I think she genuinely wanted him to change. But a lot of it had to do with this image of a perfect family she wanted to fight to maintain so she wouldn't look like a stereotype or a statistic in public while she was being humiliated privately. She was keeping it together for her children's sake. But in the back of her mind, she knew this man could never actually want her. He would never fight for her and wanted to make her feel small to punish her for being powerful. I feel like she could smell that coming but he was very good at manipulating and gaslighting her because she'd never make a fool of him or smear his reputation publicly and could 'take the abuse' and he used that to his advantage.

The man is a child, honestly. Energetically, he's extremely immature but his dreams/creativity but overall childishness are facilitated/enabled by his team and the people around him. He hasn't grown up since he was 11 (I also see 8!) and still has the mind of someone much younger. He may have grown up in other ways physically or responsibility wise but nothing else caught up with him because he wasn't challenged to do so. As in, if no one around him held him accountable, he never took it upon himself to be. I felt this from Beyonce's energy too when hers came to me but they both wanted to nurture the wounded children in their partners. Cardi always loves feeling needed and cherished but it's exploited by people who don't honor and appreciate her properly. You also cannot breast feed a grown man, she's realizing. Like, this phrase came up in my head just now.

Her family helps her feel the most secure but there's also this..feeling I'm getting..that she didn't feel exactly..welcome? So she overcompensated by leaning into more of her Madonna/Mother-Mary side (there's a lot of religious feeling and reverence/iconography here) to be the perfect mother to support the family as a whole. But it drained her and cannibalized her. I'm seeing that they rely on her for everything as a suped-up breadwinner and 'all of a sudden, no one wants to take responsibility'. People are just dumping things on her like 'Cardi, fix it, Cardi fix it' and it's not as if she doesn't have money per se but she's being abused as a resource.

A lot of her best brand deals and money moves happen when there's the right surge of creativity and 'perfect timing' is what I'm hearing. There's a lot of that's divined that she trusts in. Like, she just 'knows' it's the right move for her to make and she's taken care of. She rests a lot of her faith in intuition and God because the combination has honestly saved her in many ways. I really think that she wanted this man to change. I keep getting that. Because I'm also getting that she thought that he was the only man that could ever 'deal' with her so she just endured and kept him around. She felt like she could make him into the man that she deserved but 'nothing worked..we done talked to all the therapists and counselors and head shrinks'. So what I'm getting is that she just tapped out at some point.

Disassociated. There's a lot of feelings of her using drugs/alcohol to help her do it. There's also an underlying addiction issue here that's a coping mechanism. But a lot of it has to do with him. The way this man would talk to her is 'ungodly' and she needed to cope in ways which hurt her but allowed her to keep her head straight or save face or seem like nothing was going on. But she was very big on making sure it never happened around her kids or anything because she 'isn't stupid'. But he...wasn't so careful himself, apparently. She literally had to play Mommy for him too. She was always telling him to not do this and not do that. There's a lot of him that felt like a teenager trying to raise children. I think she feels as if he loved their kids more than her..but she kept that buried. That resentment. But it was never aimed at their kids. It was just like...'If I'm their mother...how come you don't love me???'

For the sake of personal boundaries, I'm cutting this off now because I really genuinely feel like she's fine with letting me just see everything and I'm going to let her keep that private. Her energy is just very..spill-y at the moment and I appreciate what she's shown me but I know when to stop.

But ...jesus fucking christ? This eclipse finally helped her leave for the better. BUT SHE NEEDS TO STAY GONE. SHE NEEDS SKY HIGH BOUNDARIES WITH THIS MAN.

[lynzishell]

~*~The Beginning~*~

*knock* *knock* *knock* [keys jangling, fitting into lock] [muffled voices] Aurelio: Thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it.

Aurelio: Phoenix? You here? Phoenix: *muffled* Go away. Aurelio: He’s here, he’s okay. Thank you again!

Aurelio: Hey man, you gave us quite a scare. You okay? Phoenix: …. Aurelio: No, of course you’re not okay. I heard about Greta. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved her. Phoenix: … Aurelio: Hey. Talk to me. Phoenix: … Aurelio: Come on. You’ll feel better if you sit up and talk about it. Phoenix: …

Aurelio: Alright. I’ll tell you what. If you don’t talk, then I’ll have to sing. Phoenix: … Aurelio: I will sing to you. Phoenix: … Aurelio: Okay.. [clears throat and begins singing] Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow. Phoenix: *groaning* Aurelio: [continues singing] But if we are wise, we know that there’s always tomorrow. Phoenix: Ok Aurelio: [singing louder] Lean on me when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on!

Phoenix: Ok ok I’m up Aurelio: [singing louder still] For it won’t be long, till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on! Phoenix: I said I’m up!

Aurelio: Good… good, now talk to me.

Phoenix: [taking a breath] I fucked up! I fucked everything up! And now everything’s gone to shit. I fucking killed him. Sure, he was a monster, but what am I? I’m a fucking killer now? What am I supposed to do with that? And I lost Greta. Do you know what she said to me? She doesn’t feel safe with me. What the fuck?! I appreciate you all having my back and lying for me… but maybe you shouldn’t have. What do I even do now? I’m alone in this dump of an apartment. I have no job. I only have enough in savings to get through next month. Then what? I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I don’t know who I am anymore, Aurelio.

He didn’t even notice he had started crying until he had to stop to wipe his nose.

Phoenix: FUCK! Why are you here?!

Aurelio: I’m here because I care about you, because you’re my best friend. I know exactly who you are. You are Phoenix fucking Realta. You are smart, resourceful, determined. All the things you moved here for, they’re all still out there waiting for you. And you’re not alone. I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I got into SMMI. I’m moving into the student housing apartments in the Arts Quarter in a couple months.

Phoenix: Congratulations. Aurelio: Thank you. Look, I know it’s been an awful year so far. Maybe you need someone to talk to, to work through the whole mess, and that’s okay. I've started seeing a therapist, only a couple sessions so far, but it's good. And I think it'd be good for you too, if you're willing. Julian and I will help. Phoenix: Ok. Aurelio: Yeah? Phoenix: Yeah. Aurelio: Good.

Phoenix: Thanks. Aurelio: You’re welcome. Phoenix: … Aurelio: Y’know, we have our whole lives ahead of us. And you are going to do great things. I know it.

Aurelio: This isn’t the end, ok? This is just the beginning.

Prev // Next

Personal story under the cut:

This post is dedicated to two amazing friends I had in high school. At the time, I was suffering from a deep depression, and had stopped speaking (a trauma response that still affects me from time to time). One day my friends pulled me out of bed and took me for a walk to the park on a sunny day. While we were there, they tried to get me to talk to them. But I couldn’t. So, instead, they sang this song to me… at the top of their lungs. And it was amazing. It didn’t solve anything. I didn’t speak for another couple months, and my depression lasted years more. But that moment will forever be a bright spot in a very dark time. To this day, anytime I feel down, I think back to that day and smile. After everything I put Phoenix through this week, I felt like he needed a moment like that… even if it’s super cheesy.

[express-archives]

do not ask me what any of this means. i was just typing. i have no idea what this means. uhhh. faye & hestia interactions! yeag. btw idk if anyone would recall but hestia was 22 at one point; i pushed her age up just slightly to 24.

       "Do you loathe it?"

       Faye laughs—melodiously, but nevertheless void of any actual amusement. Her eyes seem to gleam with curiosity and what Hestia believes to be some level of confusion, but to the vision bearer, it is all too clearly feigned. "Loathe what exactly, Ms. Hestia?"

       The other Fatuus blinks, sunset gaze vaguely flicking in the direction of the Ninth Harbinger's office door a few feet away. Assuming that Pantalone is in there, he would not be able to hear through the thick wood of the door, unless she were to go out of her way to make a scene; Hestia knows this for a certain fact, from experience with her own Harbinger's office (not that Rosalyne is often in her office; her work pertains to the field more than it does to logistics or other background operations, and the phoenix themselves tends to use that office more than its actual owner, but upon occassion, Hestia does find the Eighth Harbinger in there). Therefore, they do not hesitate to elaborate.

       "How he treats you," they finally reply, meeting Faye's violet gaze, swirling with something that they cannot quite place. "You are a dog in his eyes, Ms. Faye. Little more than that, I dare say."

       "...Indeed," comes the woman's slow, calculated response. The songlike tones of her voice have been all but swept away by something far colder. "But I do not loathe it, dear one. Perhaps it is hard for you to understand. You did not come from the same place as I, after all."

       "No. I didn't," Hestia admits, nodding. "It is hard for me to fathom."

       "Think of it this way, then." Faye steps closer, taking a lock of Hestia's wavy hair in between her fingertips. "If an inanimate object is offered a chance to be a tool, does it not appreciate its new role? After all, a tool is wanted, but an object typically is not."

       "But you are no object. This analogy means nothing."

       "Lucky little thing you are, Hestia... you must not know what it is like to be one. Unsurprisingly, I suppose, since we have all seen how your Lady treats you."

       Faye smiles. It is empty in all respects and does not reach her eyes.

       ...But then, she pulls back, and her smile brightens. It is as if she has put the mask she so often dons back on, as if she has retreated back into the facade she oh-so carefully built up for herself over the years.

       (Hestia has always been able to see through Faye, however. Perhaps being raised by little more than the snarling winter winds of Snezhnaya and the occasional piece of advice from her sickly father when he found the strength to speak made them more sensitive to trickery. Regardless of what made her this way, the Crimson Witch's adored little phoenix has always known better.

       Faye knows this, so maybe that was what made her so eager to slip out of her act for even the briefest of moments.)

       "Nevertheless, Hestia, we are all here to serve the same cause. We are all comrades, no?" Comrades. The word seems foreign on Faye's lips; she still carries the slightest of Fontainian accents when she speaks, so it does not surprise Hestia that the word still seems unfamiliar on her tongue... but something nags in the back of her mind that Faye is unfamiliar with the word for another reason. "Let's not create unnecessary tension between one another."

       Hestia hesitates, but nods.

       "Very well, then. Off you go. Return to the Fair Lady's side where you belong."

       'You do not belong here.'

       Here, in the Regrator's unit, on the side of the Winter Palace allocated to him and his operations. That is what Hestia believes Faye is trying to imply, and for once, they agree with the younger woman.

       However...

       "Do not presume to belittle me, Faye." The fire in her eyes flares threateningly. "I have been here far longer than you. Do not forget that. I treat you with respect not out of necessity, but out of my own professionalism."

       Faye's smile twitches.

       "Of course, of course," the Electro-bearer dismisses with an elegant wave of her hand. "I mean no harm. You know this."

       "...Sure, Ms. Faye. If you say so."

       Hestia turns on her heel and, without another word, leaves.

[incarnadinedreams]

What do you think about jyl's death? And how it's described? I have always find interesting how she doesn't talk to jc

Aaah, this is a tough one. It's another one where I go back and forth and change my mind or feel a bit differently each time I read it and can definitely be swayed by persuasive arguments!

On the one hand, I do think it's one of the areas of the story where she actually gets to show more agency and one of the very few scenes we actually get to see any of her thoughts directly. But on the other hand, it also feels a bit… fridgy. From like an out-of-universe level I did kinda feel like the setup for it was pretty weak. It does feel a bit like MXTX just needed to set up her tragic death that's kinda-but-not-fully WWX's fault, and there's a littttttle too much handwaving about how she got there, why she made the decisions she did, and so on. So that ends up making it feel not quite as impactful or fully fleshed-out for me as maybe it could have.

With the way the scene plays out, even though she's the one dying it still feels like her death scene is really more about WWX than it is about her, and even more about giving Jiang Cheng the final snapping point, the singular crystallized moment when his faith in Wei Wuxian truly shatters, when he realizes that Wei Wuxian really can't control it after all, that things won't be fine. So even in her death it still feels like it's a little too much about other people for my taste.

Because of that, I do go back and forth a lot about what to take from that scene and their interactions. I do appreciate that she didn't just forgive WWX for killing JZX, that what glimpses we do get of her thoughts are so interesting, I just wish it felt like it came together in a way that didn't feel quite so much like the author going "welp, time for Dutiful Elder Sister randomly show up and die tragically." Part of what I think feels awkward about the scene (again, from a more meta standpoint) is the way we've got her being seriously injuried (but not fatally) by one of the uncontrolled corpses, then a small interlude, and then her actually dying from an attack from someone else entirely.

But all that aside, I do think it is sort of the culmination of a pattern of interactions throughout their lives. Wei Wuxian at the center of a whirlwind of events, Jiang Yanli the self-sacrificing attempted mediator, and Jiang Cheng is either not involved, shows up late and confused, or is left cleaning up the pieces at the end. It ramps up throughout the pre-ressurrection timeline: first in fun, innocent ways (childhood shenanigans, their hijinks in Lotus Pier and at Cloud Recesses), then escalating again and again in scenes like the soup catastrophe at Langya or the Phoenix Mountain night hunt, until it culminates in this scene.

I don't think it's evidence that she loved Wei Wuxian more than Jiang Cheng (which I've seen floating around before, sometimes in a 'proof that JC is so awful even his sister doesn't care about him at all' sort of way), but I do think it plays into a common pattern we see playing out throughout their lives, where Wei Wuxian is simply more… attention grabbing, I guess? At least in the scenes we're shown (biased narration and all that). So much of Jiang Cheng's efforts are to follow the rules, succeed in very traditional and in-the-box ways, to be responsible and fulfill his duties, to do well enough to keep his mother happy (or at least not actively angry) without drawing too much attention or trouble. Cautious, steady, hardworking, but not flashy.

Wei Wuxian was always the opposite of that, the shining star that can't be ignored no matter what. Flashy, attention-grabbing, shameless, charming, funny, talented, all the things that set him apart in the best of times. And in the worst of times, he's the one she's there to talk to, he's the one who killed her husband (if unintentionally), he's the one with the zombie horde he can't fully control, he's the one with the Extremely Overpowered Magical Artifact, and he's the one she just sacrificed herself for. So in some ways it does naturally follow that she would be more focused on him. And as a side effect of all that, Jiang Cheng is once again just kind of… there but not the focus.

I do like to headcanon that it does bring him a lot of grief and insecurity, mostly because 'grief and insecurity' are basically Jiang Cheng's calling cards. And grief brings nearly inevitable anger, and there's a ton of juicy potential with him dealing with his secret anger at her for the choice she made, dealing with the feeling of being a helpless bystander, and feeling always second-place, even then in that moment. And of course the most forbidden question of all, why would she rather die for him than live for us?

So I think in the context of how Jiang Cheng might have felt about it (and exploring that in headcanons/fic/etc) there's a ton of potential to go absolutely buck wild with all kinds of repressed anger and resentment and have it still feel totally authentic to me, because grief is just Like That.

[sweetwhispersofchaos]

Eject Chapter 8

Story Summary: Ejecting from your plane in the face of danger? Expected. Forbidden love amongst pilots? Not so much. Will they bond or will this break them for good?

Chapter Summary: Swim call, tough talk with Mav, and vacay plans

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace All the Daggers, Mav x Penny, Amelia, OC's

Warnings: Language. Assault (not by a major character). Injury. Eventual smut. Alcohol consumption. Smoking. Discussions of mental health. (It's a rollercoaster. You've been warned!) Chapter

Word Count: 4272

Eject Masterlist

I do not own anything except the original characters.

Swim calls weren’t an often occurrence, but they were very much appreciated when they happened. They were also like a coordinated dance, with safety of the swimmers being the top priority. Regulations required two sharp shooters from above to watch for sharks and one safety swimmer in the ocean with the sailors, who wore diving gear and watched for unwelcome guests as well. Sometimes a smaller rescue boat would launch to watch and help evacuate, if need be, but with only 12 swimmers today, it was just a safety swimmer and the sharp shooters.

When the four pilots reached the aircraft hangar on the starboard side of the ship most of the other pilots were already waiting in line on the aircraft elevator.

“Bradshaw, how’s the battle wound? Soldiers take bullets. Bradshaw takes a tree branch. Now there’s a story for the grandkids.” Hangman drawled with a shit eating grin.

Rooster just shook his head with a grin and gave the other pilot a bro shake. “Well someone around here has to give you more material to work with. Glad I could oblige asshole.”

Phoenix walked past Hangman and smacked his chiseled abs with the back of her hand before stopping next to Bob. Hangman feigned injury then let out a loud laugh.

Maverick walked up at that moment with Hondo, smiling at the scene in front of him.

Rooster nodded his head but didn’t get enthusiastic about the elder pilots’ appearance, unlike the rest of his crew mates.

“Coming to watch the fun Pops?” Hangman blurted out, laughter from a few and gasps from others for his boldness to a commanding officer. Maverick, however, just smiled and shot back “That’s Captain Pops to you.” And everyone laughed emphatically. “And no, I’ve come to join you. I’ve done plenty of these things in my time and they’re always worth the hard work it takes to earn them.”

Payback let out an enthusiastic “Hooyah” and smacked Fanboy on the shoulder. Fanboy didn’t smile though, visibly nervous. Rooster gave him a supportive look and fist bump.

“We ready to get this party started?” Maverick asked as he walked out onto the elevator. Cheers and whoops surrounded him as several deck crew prepped them with the rules. The more they spoke, the more Fanboy looked ready to barf. Bradley leaned over and asked, “You going to be ok, man?”

“I’m scared of heights dude. And yes, I know how dumb that sounds. The planes go too fast to think about it.”

“Whatever you say. Trust me, you’re going to appreciate this. The jump is a rush, but the swim is fun and relaxing after the hell your body just went through with those G’s. If I could I’d be the first one in.”

“Ok, ok. You don’t have to sell me on it. I’m going. I wouldn’t dare chicken out now.” Fanboy shook his head and moved closer to the railing.

Unbeknownst to Bradley, Nat had moved in closer to him and heard the entire exchange.

“That was a nice thing you did, encouraging him. I’m glad Bagman didn’t hear him though.”

Rooster looked down at her and winked from behind his aviators. She grinned in response then turned her attention back to the deck hand giving the rules. Once the instructions were given, everyone began removing shirts and shoes. Rooster moved to the railing and turned to lean on it, ready to watch everyone take their plunge. Nat stood in the hangar door, talking to bob as she slid her sandals off. Then she removed her t shirt and shorts to reveal a simple black bathing suit. It took everything Bradley had in him not to fall backwards over the railing. Of course he had seen her in bathing suits before for swim tests and at the beach. But somehow, he felt like this striptease was intentional and just for him. The smirk on her face she was giving him as she did it helped fuel his thoughts. He finally had to look away otherwise he would have a rising issue.

The pilots began lining up in two rows and Hondo came to stand next to Rooster, leaning over and placing his elbows on the railing.

“Sorry about the injury Rooster.”

“It’s no biggie. Just annoying at this point. But thank you. Are you going swimming?”

“Oh nooo. No siree.” The man replied shaking his head. “I don’t do sharks unless I have to. So unless some random enemy missile finds us, I am staying put right here.”

The men shared a chuckle and Rooster said “understood” before turning his attention back to the line. The first two jumpers would be Hangman and Phoenix. Of course.

She wasn’t going to let Hangman have all the glory. That woman was bound and determined to be the best and he loved her for it. Her determination to make her gender proud really did something for him. Nat’s ability to be a role model to other young women and girls touched his heart. This wasn’t just a job to her, and she didn’t do it just because it was fun. The feeling of deep gratitude for her presence in his life was overwhelming.

The deck hand told the first two to step to the edge and cross their arms over their chest. Hangman looked over at Phoenix as he crossed his arms “First one to the water has to wash the others laundry tonight?” he asked smugly.

“You are so on.” She shot back, looking over her shoulder with a smile at Bradley. He shook his head with a smile. Those two were going to be a blast in Tahoe. If they didn’t kill each other in the water today.

An officer did a count down from three and the pilots leapt off the deck. It was a tight race down, but Phoenix splashed in first, barely. When they made it to the surface Hangman looked pissed and Phoenix raised her arms over her head triumphantly as everyone on the elevator erupted in cheers and hollers of congratulations.

She looked at Hangman and splashed him then took off swimming, Hangman chasing after her, no doubt to dunk her. Roosters heart felt a small pain. He wished like hell it was him after her right now. Fucking Dickman getting to play with his girl.

Each paired up pilots jumped in one after the other until the only ones left on deck were Bob, Fanboy, Payback, and Maverick.

Rooster called out “Fanboy, watch the horizon. You’re not gonna want to miss the view.” Fanboy nodded but looked ghastly pale. Poor guy. Hopefully he found the experience fun after the fall.

Maverick stepped over to Roosters perch and watched Payback and Fanboy jump off. Fanboy screamed all the way down and came back up still screaming. But his screams after the fact were joyful and everyone cheered again. Maverick chuckled then turned to Bob. “Gimme just a sec Bob?” he asked.

“Sure sir.” Bob replied and then stepped up to the edge to wait.

“Bradley, I was wondering if I could have a word with you afterwhile?”

Rooster contemplated this. He figured they would have to talk eventually, although he wasn’t entirely looking forward to hashing out a decade of pain and crap. He crossed his arms to his chest and nodded finally. Maverick nodded back then turned to take his place on the edge. After the last two pilots leapt to the water below, Rooster walked to the hangar door to grab his food then returned to take a seat on the edge to watch the festivities.

For an hour his friends splashed in the water, joking around, singing songs, and in general acting like a group of fourth graders at the neighborhood pool on spring break. Rooster let his feet swing in the breeze while eating some cold chicken and rice. He was thankful for his sunglasses because it was incredibly hard to keep his eyes off his gorgeous fire bird. Her smile was blinding, even from 50 feet away. She waved up to him at one point and he smiled and waved back with his fork hand. For now no one knew anything was different. But he wondered what it would be like in these situations if their relationship were to take a drastic change.

They could never be stationed in the same unit again. No more being each other’s wingman. More time apart due to differing stations and deployment schedules. It would be nothing but emails, facetime, and when out to sea, months without contact at all. He realized that maybe he was being a little unfair to her. She knew all too well the same things he was thinking and maybe that was part of her fear to concede to whatever was happening. Keep quiet and still be in each other’s life. It was a tough line of thinking, and his heart began to hurt again as he watched her splash in the water.

All too soon the hour was up, and the swimmers began climbing the cargo nets back into the ship. Bradley watched the small, perfectly curved frame in the black swimsuit shimmy up the net and he realized he had stopped breathing. She really was perfect, in every way possible. He made a mental note to compliment her on her looks later. As a female pilot he wasn’t sure if she heard how beautiful she was nearly enough in the sea of testosterone she lived in day in and day out.

Rooster tossed his trash in a can inside the hangar and waited for the pilots to return to gather their towels and clothing items. They trailed in laughing and high fiving each other. Bradley was leaning against a plane wheel near Phoenix and Bobs pile of clothing and towels. Bob walked up first, grinning ear to ear.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t get to join in buddy. Gosh that is such a rush.”

“Yeah, it is. Next time.” Rooster replied and Bob gave him a pat on the arm as he placed his glasses on his face and toweled off.

Bradley looked up at that moment and saw Nat slinking towards him, dripping wet in her skin hugging bathing suit, a huge smile on her face. He smiled back but then realized there was something wicked behind her smile. Before he could stop it, she slung her hair around and wrung it out on his feet, giggling as she did.

He jumped up from his leaning position and made a scoffing noise, with a smile on his face.

“Just thought you deserved a little bit of the ocean in your life after the torture of having to watch us.”

“Gee thanks” he said in feigned exasperation.

He watched her from behind his shades as she rubbed her body with the towel and internally groaned. She was doing this on purpose just to get under his skin and it was working. Little minx, he thought. He had always been a hopeless flirt, but he was discovering that two could play that game, and hers was so stealthy you would almost miss it. Damn she was good.

Maverick walked up, blocking Roosters view of Phoenix, and placing his hand on Roosters shoulder.

“What do you say we go up on deck after I dry off and take a walk?” he asked.

“Sure” was Roosters only response, and it was said with no emotion.

*****

Rooster bid farewell to the other pilots as they all ran off to shower, popping towels at each other along the way. The squadron agreed to meet for chow later in their ready room and discuss plans for their trip to Tahoe. Phoenix held back as the group dispersed. Bob walked about 3 feet away and stopped, his back to the couple, fidgeting with his towel.

“I’m going to get a shower. What are you going to do until chow?” she asked.

“Mav asked me to meet him on deck to take a walk. Wants to talk to me.”

“Hmm” she said in deep contemplation. “You ok with that?”

“It needs to be done. I’m not looking forward to it. But we can’t leave things like this, at least for our professional relationship. Not after what went down here.”

“That’s true. Go. Talk to him. I bet you will feel better after. He’s too important in your life to keep him at arm’s length forever.” She said and reached out with her right hand to touch his forearm. “His heart was in the right place. Doesn’t make what he did right, but maybe he’s finally earned the right to some forgiveness. For your parents’ sake?”

Rooster took a deep breath and looked up over her head. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go. But I make no promises.” And he lowered his gaze back to her beautiful, tanned face.

“I would never expect you to in this set of circumstances.” She spoke. Nat squeezed his arm then reached down to grab her towel. “I’ll see you later at chow?” she asked.

Knowing they had a lookout, bless that man, Rooster bent down and placed a quick peck on her check and replied quietly in her ear, “I’ll be there. And just so you know, you look gorgeous.”

She looked up at him confused at first, then smirked. She winked at him then turned to her WSO “Ready friend?” Bob looked cautiously over his shoulder and gave a small knowing grin to Rooster, before looping arm with Phoenix and walking off. Rooster just chuckled to himself and shook his head before making his way to the deck stairs. Time to face the inevitable, whether he liked it or not.

*****

Once on deck, Rooster didn’t immediately see Maverick. The sun was very bright this afternoon and there was quite a bit of noise coming from working deck hands. He stood at the top of the stairs with his hand over his glasses to shield the glare, searching around for the man. He finally saw an arm waving from across the landing strip and waved his hand back in recognition.

Rooster crossed to the older man, coming to a stop just feet from the edge of the ship, facing him. They stood in silence for a few moments then Maverick spoke, holding out a hand.

“Let’s walk, yeah?”

“After you old man.” Rooster said with a smirk.

Maverick chuckled as he began to walk next to Rooster. “After those G’s and the swim I’m definitely starting to feel my age.”

Rooster snorted in response, placing his hands in his pocket as they walked.

“So, you wanted to talk to me?”

“I do. We need to hash some things out. I hurt you and I think you deserve an honest explanation from me.”

“Fair enough.” Was Roosters only response as they continued to wander down the air strip.

“I don’t know that this will come as a huge surprise to you, but I was only half truthful with you. I didn’t think you were ready. You had a chip on your shoulder from the loss of your dad and wanted to prove something. To me. To yourself. To his ghost. Am I right?”

Rooster only shrugged his shoulders as he walked. He was not going to make this easy on the man.

“Well there was another part to it. Your mom, “but Rooster cut in. “Mom didn’t want me to fly, did she?”

Maverick stopped, causing Rooster to put on the brakes and turn to face him. Mav removed his shades to look at Rooster. “You knew?” he asked.

“Not for sure. But I sort of figured it out eventually. Guess this confirms it.”

Mav huffed and squeezed the bridge of his nose before continuing. “Just before she died, she made me promise. I knew you would be angry, but I couldn’t let you be angry at her.”

Rooster nodded, “I guess I can understand that. I’m sure she was appreciative?” he asked.

“Very. She knew she was sick and, other than me, she was worried about you being left alone. But she just couldn’t stand the thought of you going out like your dad. The end of the Bradshaw line.”

“Guess I disappointed her.”

“Nah kid. I think deep down she knew you would end up doing it anyway. You just needed some more time to grow up. And she would have been damn proud of you. Just like I am.”

Rooster looked out at the ocean and spoke into the wind. “Thanks for telling me this. And, uh, look” he turned back to Maverick “I can’t guarantee that things will ever go back to the way they were. I’m trying really hard not to harbor resentment here. You’re obviously important to me. But I’m going to need some time to work through this. I’ve got a lot going on right now and it’ll take some time. But I’d like to try to fix some of this.”

“That’s fair kid.” Mav replied. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come out to my hangar, see the P-52, hang out for a few days on your leave?”

“Uhhh maybe.” Rooster replied hesitantly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m going to Tahoe with some of the squad for a week but maybe after we get back. Got any Turkey Day plans?”

Maverick chuckled, “As a matter of fact I don’t. So the offer stands. Just, uh, let me know. Tahoe huh?”

Rooster smiled a crooked smile “Uh, yeah. Should be fun.”

Mav placed his shades back on his face, smiling wide. “Oh no doubt. Just don’t have too much fun. I’ll see you later.” And Mav patted his arm before turning on his heel and wandering off towards some deck hands working on a plane.

Rooster stood facing the ocean for a while, watching the waves lap and the sun begin to sink. That wasn’t so bad. Not nearly as painful as he thought it would be. Deep down he loved Mav. He was the only Dad he really remembered having and he knew that Mav loved him in return. He really was his kid. Maybe he shouldn’t be so hard on him? Mav was the only family he had left, and with the thought of keeping Nat in his life, he was going to need help treading these unknown waters.

****

By the time Rooster made his way through the chow line and down to the ready room, the group was already digging into their meals and rowdy as ever. As he entered the room, a wadded-up paper towel smacked him in the side of the face.

“About time you showed up!” Coyote called out, laughter ringing from around the room.

Rooster just shot him a dirty look while maneuvering his stuff to the table at the end of the room where Fritz was sitting.

“What have I missed?” he asked the other pilot as he took a bite of his baked potato.

“So far there has been discussion about a pool tournament, the game not the swimming apparatus. Apparently, the winner gets to choose one person to dive into the snow in the nude.”

Rooster sucked air between his teeth. “Ouch”

“Yeah man. That one is still under debate.” Rooster just nodded his head.

“Also, Thanksgiving dinner, Dagger style, will be Saturday. Menu includes Turkey, fixins, and copious amounts of alcohol.”

“Is there any other way to have a holiday with this crowd?” Rooster asked through a deadpan expression.

Fritz just said “nope” then returned to eating his meal.

After wiping his mouth, Rooster took a look around the room. His eyes landed on Natasha, seated across from him on one of the small couches, this time her back to Bob, leaning against his shoulder with her legs over the arm of the couch. He was eating and they were chatting. She glanced over to Rooster while speaking to Bob, the corner of her mouth turning up ever so slightly, then she turned around in her seat to face Bob, continuing their discussion. Sneaky little thing.

Just then Hangman jumped up on the bench and raised his hands “Alrighty gang, this is your Captain speaking.” At that several groans crossed the room, and a few napkins flew at his head. “Thought yall would like that. First of all, you’re welcome. For saving this mission and your leave from disappearing before your eyes.”

Fanboy let out a long “booooo” and others giggled, but Hangman ignored him and continued.

“We’ll caravan up there Thursday morning. It’ll take almost all day so no pussy footin around that morning. Get your shit and let’s get out of dodge.”

No one spoke so he moved on to the next matter at hand. “Let’s talk cars. Who all has one in North Island?”

Rooster, Bob, Fanboy, and Fritz raised their hands.

“Perfect.” Hangman said “Yall talk amongst yourselves and figure out who is riding with who. Being that I prefer not riding in cheap death traps, Rooster, you’re on your own. I’ll take shotgun with Fritz. Nice truck man.”

Fritz rolled his eyes and let out a “gee thanks”. It was true though. Fritz had a nice, extended cab brand new F350. It had plenty of room to tote bodies and a bed full of stuff.

“Well I’m riding shotgun with Bob. It’s about time we switch roles.” Phoenix announced and Roosters heart sank a little. He had hoped they would have the drive up to talk.

Coyote and Omaha decided to ride in the truck with Fritz and Hangman. Fanboy told Rooster he would ride with him and that was settled.

“Now that we figured that all out, one last thing. Rooms. Now I have my own room on the second floor. I think it’s only fair, being the only female on this little excursion, that Phoenix gets the master.”

“Well isn’t that nice of you, douche man.”

“You’re welcome” he said with a wink. “There are four other rooms with two beds in each and six of yall. I am automatically bequeathing the room next to me to Coyote because I like him more than the rest of yall.” And he smiled while more napkins flew across the room.

“That leaves five of yall and three rooms. So who is going to be the other Lone Ranger?”

Fanboy cleared his throat and spoke up, “Bob and I already agreed we would share a room.”

“Ok, the nerds are taking their own room.” Fanboy and Bob just rolled their eyes. “That leaves Omaha, Fritz, and Big Bird.”

Rooster flipped the bird at Hangman but before he could say anything Omaha spoke up “Rooster, it’s cool with us if you take the room to yourself. We don’t mind rooming, right Fritz?”

Several suspicious looks went between the two pilots and Fritz nonchalantly said “Sure, sounds good.” Without looking up from his book. Rooster and Bob made eye contact, Roosters eyebrow raised, Bobs shoulder shrugging.

“That was way too easy. I was expecting some bloodshed. Yall better get more fun on this trip.” Hangman said.

“It’s not our level of fun anyone is worried about.” Phoenix mused and several agreed.

Ignoring her, Hangman spoke again “Last thing. Ground rules, per my mother.”

“Oooo Hangmans a Mama’s boy.” Fanboy cooed to chuckles around the room.

“Damn straight. Anyways. Ground rules. We have to keep it tidy and leave the place just as clean, if not more so than how we found it since we have renters coming after us. No sex on the pool table. Or in the pool. You know what, no sex.”

“Well now who’s raining on the fun parade?” Fritz scoffed.

“Ok ok, since I can’t promise to follow that rule,” he wagged his eyebrows “if you bring someone back to the house, just keep it in your room so the rest of us don’t have to suffer.” He paused and when no one else argued he continued. “We have to provide our own food and beverages, so I figured several of us can go to the store once we get up there. Pool our money and just make one big shopping trip. Sound good?”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“My mama would have my ass if I did anything too stupid in her house. I promise to be on my best behavior so yall better be too” he said as he stepped down from his perch. To which several groaned and Phoenix rolled her eyes.

“Back to shore tomorrow gentlemen, oh, and lady” Coyote said to which Phoenix middle finger shot up. “I’m going to hit the hay.”

“Yeah, me too, I’m sore from that swim.” Phoenix said as she stood, Bob standing with her.

Everyone began to disperse slowly, Rooster still sitting in his chair finishing his food. After everyone had left, he realized someone was still in the room. He looked over to see Phoenix rummaging in her locker. Was she actually looking for something or stalling? Once the coast was clear she closed her locker and walked over to the table where he sat, resting her arms on the back of one of the tall chairs.

“Ready to be on dry land again?” she asked.

“I’m ready to be in Tahoe. With you.” Was his reply.

“I’m ready to be in Tahoe with you too.” She said with a smirk. Phoenix came around behind his chair, reached up, and kissed his cheek.

“Night Old Bird.”

“Night Fire Bird.”

And he watched her walk out of the room, visions of bedroom assignments dancing in his head.

Chapter 9 ->

[snezfics-n-shit]

Sicktember (Belated) Day 21: "But if you stay, you'll get sick too"

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, Trucy Wright, Pess Notes: A little late, and day 22 is still in the works, but I like to stick to my word so here's Day 21 at last. It’s been about a year since Phoenix and his daughter moved into Miles’s home; said year being filled with all sorts of changes and adjustments to everyone’s lifestyle. Today is the day it truly dawns on Miles just how much things have changed. Also, Pess gets to be a pretty pretty princess, even though she’s always been one. Set early in 7yg, so enjoy the mental image of scruffy Nick because awooga. Established Wrightworth. If you like the things I write, I always appreciate reblogs and comments; they really make my day!

    Miles Edgeworth was unpresentable. Dark bags made their home under his eyes and his nose ran like it was trying out for the track team. It was obvious to anyone who might have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of him that he was in no shape to be anywhere that wasn’t a warm bed. Had it been over a year ago, he wouldn’t dare let a human soul see him in this state, save for Franziska, but even her visits when he was ill were typically against his wishes. If Miles had his way, he would gladly lock down his house and only have his dog keeping him company until he fully recovered.

Now? Having his boyfriend and said boyfriend’s newly adopted daughter made hiding away from human view not just impossible, but not nearly as desirable either. As Phoenix would leave a fresh, damp cloth on his forehead or return from the store with a restock of cold medicine, Miles couldn’t help but be grateful to have a man so attentive cohabitating with him. 

“How are you feeling, babe?” Phoenix asked, just as he had asked the day before when Miles had finally conceded he was feeling unwell. “It sure sounded like you slept well last night; I heard a lot more snoring than coughing.”

“Better than the night before, yes.” Miles confirmed, his voice rough in a way that Phoenix always considered to be incredibly attractive. “It probably helped that I could breathe through my nose when I went to bed, too.” 

“I’m sure of that.” Phoenix smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, but I applied some more vapor rub just before you woke up.” 

That explained the strong, yet soothing scent of menthol Miles awoke to. 

“I don’t mind at all, love.” Miles gently grabbed Phoenix’s nearest hand to give his knuckles a kiss. 

He loved this man so much. Even at such a low point of his life, Phoenix was so attentive, so kind, so–

“Daddy!” Trucy called out just before opening the master bedroom door. Luckily, there was nothing going on to truly warrant a lecture on knocking first. 

Miles then realized another thing Phoenix was: responsible for a young daughter. 

“Sweetheart,” Miles tugged his boyfriend’s sleeve to get his attention, “perhaps you and Trucy should pay a visit to your parents.” 

Phoenix pulled himself back, unsure where that suggestion came from. 

“We’re gonna visit grandma and grandpa?” Trucy tilted her head. “Does that mean I have to undress Pess?” 

Undress? 

As if on cue, the friendly Samoyed entered the room, donning a pink, sparkly tiara on her head between her ears and an oversized chunky plastic necklace that dangled around, showing it was thankfully not tight at all.

A laugh slowly built up in Miles before its full release. He couldn’t recall laughing so hard in years, and it was rather unfortunate that this wasn’t able to last long with that pesky cough interrupting such a joyful moment. Whatever medicine laughter was supposed to be, it definitely wasn’t a cough suppressant. 

“Ah, you probably could use some peace and quiet, huh?” Phoenix guessed. “No disturbances like, well,” he gestured to the dressed-up pup, “like that.” 

“No, it’s not that at all.” Miles took another moment to really take in the presence of the newly crowned princess Pess. “It’s just that if you stay, you’ll get sick too.”

“When did that become a problem?” 

“When it finally dawned on me that you have a daughter to care for.” Miles answered calmly. “We can’t afford to both be out of commission anymore.” 

“I suppose you’re right about that.” Phoenix sighed and gave Miles a quick kiss on the forehead before getting up from the bed. “You know you can call me anytime if you need anything. You have both my cell number and my parents’ home number, right?” He waited for Miles to nod, then turned his attention over to Trucy. “Alright, Trucy. It’s time to wrap up playing dress-up with Pess and get ready to go to grandma and grandpa’s.” 

“Okay!” Trucy gently freed Pess from the sparkly accessories, though Pess’s easygoing nature made the use of the word ‘freed’ debatable. She pivoted on one foot to happily wave goodbye to Miles. “Feel better soon, Papa!”

Papa. 

[stitchlingbelle]

Watching Avatar, the Grand Finale

I am NOT ready for this show to be over and I'm sure once I've sat with it a bit I'll be brimming with takes and hooking myself to AO3 with an IV. For now, let's see how they stuck the landing.

18. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King”: Yikes, what an opener. When did Ozai go batshit? I never understand the burn it all down mentality from people who want to rule—what are you ruling over at that point?? Isn’t the point of your power-hunger to, you know, EXERT that power? Over other people? Can’t do that if they’re dead! I don’t envy Aang his moral decision here, especially since, again. He is 12. My kid is older! (Barely.) Loved the bit about Zuko being the expert Aang tracker, which, fair, glad he’s using it for good now. Adored seeing June again, she’s great fun. (Where is Iroh??) What IS this ambulant island Aang just found himself on? Oh well, at least it’s nice to have our boy back in focus after the last few Zuko-themed episodes. Not sure if Azula should be pleased about being Firelord if Firelord just became a subordinate position. Nor do I think this is going to go well. The Phoenix King reveal was creepy and well-done. (I keep forgetting that’s Mark Hamill and freaking out a little bit when I see it in the credits.)

19. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters”: IROH’S BACK. I legitimately cried when he grabbed Zuko and hugged him. It was lovely seeing the mentor squad and having the White Lotus stuff pay off. (Please let Iroh have his tea shop back!) The plan to split the group sounds interesting and also like a good storytelling choice, allowing Aang to go face off with Ozai without the others complicating the scene. The past Avatars were interesting, although Aang doesn’t seem to notice that none of them actually SAY to kill Ozai—they tell him to act, to be decisive, and to put his responsibilities before himself. Also, I will exempt the lion turtle from my usual cries of “wtf is with the ANIMALS on this SHOW” because as a Discworld fan I am predisposed to believe in giant magical turtles that carry landmasses around.  

20. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 3: Into the Inferno”: Annnnd here we go. This was intense, although since we watched all four parts in a row, it was less cliff-hanger-y than it could have been. Iroh and team were obviously the optimistic part of the episode, giving you something hopeful before SLAPPING YOU IN THE FACE with the other three plotlines. Azula’s breakdown I did NOT see coming, and while it was a little abrupt and convenient, the paranoia does make sense as both a fatal flaw and a logical reaction to Mai and Ty Lee’s rebellion. (Also she 100% would have tried to blast Katara regardless of her state of mind, I don’t know why they didn’t see that coming.) Sokka/ Toph/ Suki’s plotline was actually the most wrenching, to me—the stakes were obvious and sickening, they were horrifically outnumbered, and the sense of danger felt very real. (They didn’t kill Suki, right? Guess I’ll find out in like twenty minutes but still.) Aang’s part of the story didn’t have much—I was proud of his stand and the fight kicked off well, I appreciated the lightning redirect, but I feel like the meat is coming in the next episode. This was just a fight scene so far, albeit a good one.

21. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang”: I’m not ready for this to be over. Here we go. Again, the liberation of Ba Sing Se was just a grace note against the other fights, though I’m always happy to see Iroh and the mentor squad in action. (Belatedly it occurs to me that it would’ve been nice to see an old woman in that squad…) LOVED Katara’s defeat of Azula, immersing them like that was very cool. (What happened to Azula after all this? I hope Aang took her firebending too, or she’s going to be a problem.) Sokka and Toph continued to be the most intense part of the fighting for me. That broken leg, clinging to each other’s hands moment was very visceral, maybe because it wasn’t magic in nature. We can all picture broken bones and falling from great heights, you know? Thrilled that Suki survived and rescued them. (But kinda bummed Sokka lost his boomerang and sword). Aang reactivating the Avatar State at last was a fantastic OH SHIT moment. Just the way it went from “these guys are almost evenly matched” to “Ozai done fucked up” in a heartbeat was intensely satisfying. I was also happy with Aang getting to find a third path—taking Ozai’s bending was a very elegant solution. (And arguably an even more fitting punishment, since Ozai will suffer more in powerless disgrace than he ever would just dying. “To the pain” and all that jazz.) From a purely aesthetic view, I was happy when the comet left just because I was tired of the screen being solid orange for like an hour, but it did leave me with a lot of questions about the orbital mechanics here. (Are there fics with spacebenders? Please say yes.) The rest of the episode felt like it went really quickly, trying to wrap up in the leftover time—WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON’T FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ZUKO’S MOM. Seriously??? Fine, fine, that’s what we call a sequel hook, I guess. But at least the final scene AT THE TEA SHOP YAY so happy for Iroh—ahem. At least the final scene was really cute. An expanded version of the Gaang, having fun together, getting to be kids again, getting to be friends, family (and eventually more, for Aang and Katara). Just getting to live. That’s what all the fighting was for. And there’s still magic in the world, and they can still fly. What more can you dream of?

[shouldershimmycity]

Les Pilotes n'parlent pas Français (Hangman x Reader)

This is a short, self indulgent fic, inspired by someone I know who got drunk after their Spanish exam and began speaking fluent Spanish. Alcohol takes away your reservations and unlocks knowledge apparently. IF MY FRENCH IS WRONG DON'T FIGHT ME ON IT, I WRITE LIKE A TODDLER AND I SPEAK LIKE A BABY! I'VE HAD A LONG SEMESTER AND I WILL CRY

tw: drunk reader

*****

“Hey, Bagman? Your girl is drunk, you might want to come get her,” Phoenix sounds like she’s fighting back laughter from whatever is going on on the other end of the line. He could hear babbling in the background.

“Uh oh, is it good or bad?” he asked, only mild concern able to come from the smirk that filled his face while he stood from his couch. 

You had been waiting on your grades to come back from your exam. It was the final class you had to take before graduating and getting your degree, and if you failed you were undoubtedly going to be crushed. You loved to learn languages, and adored the idea of being able to communicate. However, your appreciation for the practice stopped at appreciation; despite all your efforts you found it hard to actually comprehend them, so the academic aspect of it was tough on you. Hangman was desperately hoping you passed. He wasn’t sure if he could watch you break down from French verb conjugations all over again for another semester.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. At the very least it’s impressive, I think?” she was belly laughing at something now, and said something to someone that he couldn’t comprehend. 

“Uh, what?” he raised an eyebrow to no one in particular.

“You’ll have to come see for yourself,” she gave up trying to explain, and said her farewells to Jake, who was already out the door.

*****

Jake opened the door to the Hard Deck, and music floated out into the open world. He looked around the bar, which wasn’t sure busy on a weeknight, but busy enough that it took him a second to spot you sitting with Phoenix, Bob, Rooster and his wife Knuckles. 

(A/N: I’m aDDING A KNUCKLES CAMEO BECAUSE I CAN; I LOVE HER, YOUR HONOR).

Bob waved at Jake, who began walking towards you and the group, smiling in greeting.

“Il y a un beau pilote, Phoenix!” your voice was heavy with alcohol, “Je voudrais le pilote là-bas!” You giggled, and pointed at Jake, who put his hands up in defense and walked over to you cautiously. Phoenix simply nodded to appease you, not having a clue what was said otherwise.

“What, hon?” he asked, cracking a smile but beyond confused. Natasha and Bob tossed him a look that was similar to now do you understand? 

“J'ai réussi mon examen, Jake!” your hands were thrown into the air in celebration, and you leaned forward. Hangman quickly stepped forward to catch you before you face planted, and you were wrapped around his torso. It was good to hear that, from what he could tell, you passed your exam. Wiggling, you danced in his arms and he wiggled in response as it felt appropriate. Hangman wiggling in unison with his girlfriend was not the most unusual thing to occur at that moment, but then suddenly you pulled away to look at him fervently.

“Pouvons-nous manger des frites ensemble, s'il vous plaît? Avec du fromage? Et avec du bacon?!” your words were hushed, but frantic as if you had just come to an earth shattering realization, which had to be remedied immediately. Hangman looked between you and Phoenix and Bob, unsure how to respond.

“Is she asking me a questio– I feel like she’s asking me a question?” his panic made you giggle, and you patted his chest goodnaturedly. 

“Ahh, j’aime les pilotes,” you sighed, hugging him tighter. 

He wasn’t sure what was going on, he was entirely lost, but he sure didn’t mind.

[ready-steady-freddie]

Swim until you can't see land

Robert Bob Floyd + Natasha Phoenix Trace (friendship)

Warnings: Infant death/child loss (non-graphic) and suicidal thoughts. This fic ties in with my reader POV fic Nothing breaks like a heart.

Word count: 2,2K

Notes: I swear I love Bob to bits and I'm not trying to make him suffer intentionally. OK, so maybe I am. Huge, huge, huge thanks to @nixnbob for their input on this piece. It made it so much better and helped me convey what I was trying to say as I wrote this. They are amazing, I love their storytelling, so go read their Phoenix x Bob fic Free Fall on AO3.

Thank you for reading! Every like, comment and reblog is appreciated ❤️ YouTube song playlist is found here.

"Bob …"

He stood at the edge of the ocean. It called to him. It always did, inviting him in. Both calming him and setting his nerves on end. He heard his name called in the mild lapping and the loud crashing of the waves against the shore.

"Bob …"

For now, his breathing had evened out. He had been on the verge of another panic attack and rather than making a scene inside the Hard Deck, he had fled to the oceanside. There was something about the sea, perhaps vast expanses of water in general, that made him feel safe. Humble. Safe in the repetitiveness of the motions, humble in knowing that such a force could take his life under the right circumstances. He was not afraid of that force and it made him immensely calm. 

"Bob …"

He wondered how far into the ocean he would have to go to feel its weight crushing around him, holding him down, filling his lungs with water, darkness forever surrounding him. Quite far, he supposed. Further than he could go before his natural instincts for survival took over. But it would be so easy to just disappear in the ocean. People did it all the time. Why not him?

"Bob?"

It was not until Phoenix touched his arm that he realised it was not the ocean calling his name. It was her. Her brow was furrowed with concern, lips strained into thin lines and eyes searching his deeply. He blinked once and Phoenix had tears spilling over slowly. Her thumb came away wet when she dragged it across his cheek. He had not noticed that he was also crying.

"Oh, Bob." He found himself engulfed by her petite frame, arms thrown around his neck and shoulder. Phoenix hugged him close and he swallowed hard as he did a halfhearted attempt at hugging her back. Beyond his control, a sob came over his trembling lips. Her embrace was warm and strong but never too much. It was a rare moment for them to show affection towards each other like this. Through the chaos and absolute hopelessness of his situation, he appreciated it. And he appreciated that she had been the one to invite him tonight and that she had been the one to hug him first. He needed that. To see another living, breathing human being. To not be reminded constantly of death, grief and despair.

"I am so sorry for what happened. I don't even know what to- I can't pretend to know what you're going through. But my heart breaks for you and your wife and your little boy. Please know that I think about you guys all the time and- i-if there's anything I can do-"

She held onto him still. Tight. She spoke into his neck, her breath hot against his skin. She felt how skinny he had suddenly become and it broke her heart even more.

Bob was the first one to pull away. He had stopped crying and wiped his cheeks and nose with one hand. He shrugged. 

"There isn't. But thanks."

Phoenix sighed as she wiped away her own tears. Bob stood with his hands in his pockets, gazing out across the ocean again.

"Do they know?" He nodded back towards the bar where the rest of the Dagger Squad were waiting for them.

"I haven't told them."

He breathed out bitterly. Her response changed nothing.

"Please tell them when you think it's appropriate. I just … I can't face them. Not tonight."

He would not be joining them. He could not. It had been a mistake for him to come tonight. The well-intentioned platitudes would not fill the hollowness that had taken hold of him.

"It's okay. I'll tell them before you return to base." Phoenix supplied, restless beside him, busying herself with correcting the wings on her khaki uniform - which  were not even askew to begin with. Sensing he was still closed off, she glanced at him - still facing the ocean - before asking, "How, uhm … How are you?"

Finally. He exhaled. A crack formed in the ice around his heart.

"I'm scared," he answered quietly, a tremor in his voice. 

"Scared?" she asked, gaze shifting back to him.

"I'm scared that this is my new normal," he began, trying to tamp down the shaking that had settled in, "Scared I'll wake up every day for the rest of my life feeling like this. Scared my wife'll wake up every day for the rest of hers, to feel that pain �� It's hard."

"You won't." 

She sounded so certain.

"You don't know that," he shot back, harder than he had meant to, but not in anger.

"You're right, I don't. I don't know anything because you don't tell me," she said sadly, "I am in the dark here, but all I want to do is help you."

He sniffled softly. "I don't think you can."

She touched his arm again. Instinct urging her to ground him. To keep him here. Safe. Present. She felt helpless. Unable to protect him.

"Are you getting the help you need?" she pressed.

He shrugged her hand off his arm, prompting her to take a tiny step back. He lifted his glasses and ran a hand over his face in a futile effort to disperse his unease. 

"I don't know what I need or what my purpose in life is anymore. I don't know how to help her. I don't know anything." He blinked a few times, like he was starting to disappear back within himself. "I need to get away from here."

"... Bob?" Phoenix sounded wary. His words hit her like a physical blow.

"I, uhm, I signed up for the Pakistani mission," came his quiet response.

"No. No, no, no." Her voice flared with incredulity. She moved to stand right in front of him, blocking any route of escape, looking up at him with thunderous eyes. "Are you actually insane? Do you have a death wish?!" 

"Yes!" He all but snapped. "Yes, I do! Because I can't go on living with the pain of having lost my son. I will never see him again. Or hold him. Or get to watch him grow up. He's gone … and it's breaking my heart more than I can-" His words came tearing out harsher than he had intended, but the dam had broken. "There's no words. None. It's too much, Nix. It's just … It's too much." 

Warm droplets rolled down his cheeks again. He did not bother to wipe them away. It was true. For the first time, he wanted to die. To be done. He could not bear to live his life in such suffocating hurt and sorrow and there being no end to it. He had many times wondered what it would be like to die of heartbreak. Would it be swift and painless as he hoped his son's death had been? Or slow and agonising? 

Bob wanted to leave this place so he could be with his son in some - any - form of afterlife. Instead of reliving that fixed point in time. There were times when he wished that his heart had stopped beating in that same instant as his baby's so he would not have to live with the agony and loneliness of that rendering loss. He knew whatever he felt, his wife felt it so much more intimately. An infinite and unbounded times worse. She had to endure the shame and guilt of her body not being able to keep him alive. Her vessel that was meant to give life to their dream. As desperately as he wanted to, Bob could not take that feeling away from her. It broke him. Over and over.

"Bob, please. I get it. I know you don't believe me, but I do. You can't do that to your wife. Or yourself. Didn't you agree that you would no longer go on high-risk missions? And no more long deployments? Are you even mentally fit to fly so soon?" Phoenix rushed out, fingers ghosting in the air with the desire to connect with him, to bring him back to himself. To help him.

"Yeah, well, things change," he answered, almost nonchalantly, his timbre sour. "It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore. She hasn't talked to me in like a month."

"Don't leave her. She needs you, Bob. You need each other," Phoenix pleaded, wishing upon wishes that he would see reason.

Bob flopped down onto the still-warm sand, drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He closed his eyes briefly as he rested his forehead on his knees.

"I miss him so, so much."

Phoenix sat down beside him, putting an arm around his back, rubbing her hand in small, consoling circles.

"He was still warm when I held him the first time. He was so dang beautiful, Nix. The most gorgeous little being I've ever laid my eyes on. I would have been so proud to show him to everyone." 

Bob's voice was full of love. Overflowing. He gave her such a broken expression that she felt her heart was being shredded. 

"Do you … Do you have any photos of him? Can I see?" she asked, trepidation in her voice, though her small ghosting smile was genuine.

Bob's eyebrows flew up in surprise, his mouth slightly agape, caught off-guard by her question. "I have pictures. But he's … He's already gone in those pictures."

"I know. I don't mind. But he's your kid and I want to see him … If you will share him with me." Her words were an unexpected balm to the agonising burn of loss that he felt.

Bob had not expected to weep when he showed Phoenix the pictures of his son. But it happened quite naturally, each sob raking gently through his body. Every swipe through his phone's gallery brought on a new emotion for both him and Phoenix. It was otherworldly for her to be looking at those pictures with him. Knowing his baby was not just sleeping. But still looking peaceful. A cute, rosy-cheeked baby. She realised that Bob did not even know the colour of his boy's eyes. 

She was grateful that Bob shared this with her. She felt honoured that he trusted her this much, a trust reserved only for those closest to Bob.

"I think … I think this is my favourite," Bob sniffled, stopping at a picture where he cradled the lifeless child to his chest, five tiny fingers curled around Bob's much longer ones. He was looking at his son with such a soft expression, eyes shining with something Phoenix had never seen in them before. Unconditional, undying love.

"You are such a proud dad here." She nudged his shoulder with hers, lips trembling as she spoke. She looked up at him with a slight smile and fresh tears now ran down her cheeks, too. "He looks like you."

Bob let out a chuckle, even through his tears. "He does, doesn't he?"

"Slap a pair of aviators on the kid and it's basically you," she sniggered, blotting at her eyes.

Bob laughed again and dried his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. "Thank you for saying that. I'm having such a difficult time connecting with him these days, and it means the world to me that you see me in him."

"I'm so sorry that this happened to you both, Bob. It's not fair that you didn't get to spend the rest of your life with him. You love him so much, anyone can see that."

Phoenix placed a hand on top of Bob's. She sent him a brief smile but she hoped the love she felt for Bob and his family lingered in her eyes. He was her family too now, after all.

Another painful, raking sob fell from Bob's lips and he started shuddering. Phoenix moved around him to hug his larger frame awkwardly, letting him bury his face in her neck. Wanting so desperately to be able to shield him from this.

"Hey. It's going to be okay," she spoke softly, brushing her hands through his sandy hair.

"You don't know that." His reply came quickly, his tone agitated again. He had heard those words spoken many times before and he grew weary of them.

"You're right, I don't. But neither do you. So stop being a fucking idiot and retract your application for the Pakistani mission!" she fired back at him, her love for him and her frustration at his recklessness battling in her voice.

Bob laughed despite himself, his dry sarcasm painting his speech. "You always know just what to say. And in such a mild manner."

"I really don't," Phoenix grinned. "I just care too much about you to let you do something dumb like that."

"Thanks." Bob sought her forehead with his own and breathed out heavily, the remnants of the current squall of his emotions temporarily exorcised from his body. "I'm still not fine, you know."

"I know, buddy. It's OK. Take your time. I'm here for you. Always." 

She smiled, glad he was getting even the smallest reprieve.

[aurorablue22]

Reunited - Sirius Black x Reader

Summary/(A/N): After 14 years, Harry’s Godmother is finally reunited with her husband. I made this sort of specific to whatever my own mind came up with; (Y/N) is Harry’s Godmother, and has of course known the Marauders since their school days. She’s known Harry since the events of POA, and she took him in. Harry and (Y/N) have lived together for the past two years, and although Harry has met and seen Sirius, the most that (Y/N) has received is letters. Finally, in OOTP, they’re reunited. 

Warnings: None really, maybe a lil’ kissing scene <3 

“Good morning my dear!” you said as you walked into the kitchen, where Harry was cracking an egg over the frying pan.

“Mornin’ (Y/N).” he smiled, and you walked over to him.

“Y’know Harry, you don’t have to make breakfast for us. Even after all this time I feel bad-”

“(Y/N), I’m fine, I promise. Besides, I already made you tea.” he nodded towards the counter, and you gave a pouty smile as you picked up the mug. “Sweet boy.” you cooed, and ruffled his hair. 

You and your godson were enjoying whatever Harry had whipped up, and talking about the strange dream he had last night, when an owl tapped on the window. You took a swig from your tea mug and lifted the latch, letting the dusty creature inside. It gave a polite hoot, and you bowed your head in return. 

You unfastened the letter from the owl’s foot while Harry filled a bowl with water and a plate with bacon scraps.

“Oh, it’s from Rem!” you hastily tore the envelope, and slipped the parchment through the folds. Sprawled across the yellowed paper was half-messy, half-loopy writing, which you’d grown quite familiar with. 

“What’s he up to?” Harry asks nonchalantly. 

Your eyes quickly moved from left to right, scanning over the message. Your brain hung onto specific words; Order, Phoenix, Army, The Dark Lord... and Padfoot. 

You took a breath in as you read your husband’s name, and Harry peeked over your shoulder, raising his eyebrows. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, my dear..” you shook your hand, handing him the message. “It’s just..”

Harry immediately understood. “Well, that’s a good thing, right? You do want to see him... right?” 

You whipped around, your updo falling loose. “Of course I want to see him! I just... I just don’t know.. “ you sighed, and sat back at the kitchen table. Your brain floated back to what Remus had written; how the Order was reassembling, and he was extending the invite to you, just like he had in the 70s. 

Not only that, but he had scribbled something along the lines of “Padfoot will be joining us as well. I do hope you’re willing to see him.”

Of course you did! But it was complicated to explain to others. You were nervous. The most communication you’d had with Sirius over the past two years was letters. Most of his were on scraps of newspaper, so you always made sure to pack extra parchment into your envelopes.

Within the past few weeks, his message arrived a lot cleaner and appeared less rushed, which you appreciated. Each time an owl arrived, your heart soared. But in those letters, you couldn’t reveal anything about your lives, in case they fell into the wrong hands. That being said, the most you two could say to each other was “I love you”. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was just after 7 o’clock, when Remus and a girl with purple hair had come to pick up you and Harry. She introduced herself as ‘Tonks”. Of course, you hadn’t realized at the time she was your cousin in law. 

You both waved them off, Remus assuring them you’d catch up soon. You gave your Godson a kiss on the cheek.

“Be good,” you pointed your finger at him “Listen to Tonks”.

“I will, I will!” he teased. 

When they’d both left, you and Remus sat on the tiny loveseat in comfortable silence. 

“I wanted to check up on you,” he stated, and you looked up to reach his gaze. Oh, Remus. Your best friend. “I realize when I sent my letter it must’ve been a bit of a shock to you.” he placed his hand over yours.

“Oh yes, well, I think I might’ve frightened Harry more than anything. I’m not sure if he’s used to how dramatic I am yet.” you two laughed, Remus teasing you that it took him a long time to get used to it too. 

Your laughter died down, and Remus spoke again. “He’s very excited to see you, (Y/N). In fact, he’s been fixing up his hair all day.”

You couldn’t even laugh. That was such a Sirius thing to do. 

Your eyes glossed over at the thought, which Remus noticed immediately. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze. 

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to see him Rem.” you cut him off, and you saw relief wash over his features. “I’m just a little nervous.”

It took a few minutes, but after a warm hug and Remus’s signature pep talks, you were ready to go. Never letting go of his hand, the two of you apparated to 12 Grimmauld Place. 

Always a gentleman, Remus opened the front door for you, and you were greeted by the distant chatter at the end of the hall. Although you couldn’t see any faces, you recognized the voice of your Godson and his friends, along with that of Mad-Eye and Mrs. Weasley, to be followed by- 

him. 

It was that glorious laugh you’d waited 14 years to hear, the sound bounced around your head and you began to feel faint. Remus patted your shoulder, and you turned your head to look at him. 

He nodded towards the end of the corridor, smiling. You took a deep breath, staring down the long hallway ahead of you. You brushed the stray hair out of your face and clenched your fists. As you began walking, you could hear Remus following close behind. 

Your footsteps were booming across the corridor, your pace picking up with every step. Your breathing heightened and your heart was in your throat. You pushed open the door in front of you, and it slammed against the wall. The sound alerted the entire room, and you scanned over everyone’s faces. You finally landed on those eyes, his eyes, still as grey and dreamy as you’d left them. 

“(Y/N)!” he shouted, getting up from his seat, looking anything but composed. 

“Sirius” you breathed, tears already forming. The two of you ran towards each other, and finally, after 14 long years, you found yourself in his embrace once more. 

It was tight and strong, he held you protectively yet with extreme caution. You sobbed into his chest, knowing that there weren’t enough words in the English language to describe how you felt at the moment. 

Much to your surprise, and those in the room, Sirius began to cry as well. Not as much as you, but tears fell from his eyes as though he was only a boy. You held onto him, not wanting to let go, your hands digging into his jacket, and your face buried in his chest. 

The world fizzled out around you, and you didn’t even notice how people were reacting to the scene. Remus leaned against the doorframe, wiping away a few tears himself; he felt so grateful he could see his best friends together once more. 

Although they would deny it later on, Harry and Hermione hid their emotions behind Ron, the both of them on the verge of an entire breakdown. This was followed by Mrs. Weasley, who was sniffing loudly as her husband passed her a handkerchief. 

Sirius was the first to pull away, and he cupped your face with his hands. He had a certain look on his face, as though he’d fallen in love all over again. He wiped away your tears with his thumb, and looked into your eyes. 

Your knees might’ve given out at that very moment if he wasn’t there to steady you. “Even more beautiful then when I left you.” he spoke, barely over a whisper, his voice sending those familiar tingles down your spine. 

You couldn’t even form words, you were so lost in his features. You only smiled, which he returned. “Why don’t we go into the other room, hmm?” he wrapped an arm around your waist, leading you out of the dining room. You could barely hear Ginny burst into loud sobs behind you, and how Mrs. Weasley followed suit. 

He walked you down the hall, and you never took your eyes off each other, only breaking the gaze when he opened the door to the living room. 

You two sat on the dusty couch in the dimly lit room, and he took your hands in his. You realized then and there how much you’d missed his loving gaze; at this point he was practically drooling at the sigh of you. 

He wrapped his arms around you once more, his head resting atop yours. “I’ve missed you so much my love, so very much.”

You only gripped him harder, breathing in the smell of cigarette smoke and his old cologne. Your eyes pricked yet again; it was the cologne you used to spray on his pillow when he was first imprisoned. 

“Sirius..” you said his name as though it were your only prayer. He hummed in response, lifting your face to meet his. You leaned in closer to him, your faces not even an inch apart. You closed the gap, your lips finally meeting his. You took in a breath through your nose, and butterflies began swarming in your stomach. 

You parted your lips, which Sirius took as an invite, and his tongue slipped into your mouth. Your hands found their way into his hair, and his around your waist. You felt your cheeks getting wet, and you realized it was from Sirius. A few tears had spilled from his eyes, but he didn’t let up from the kiss. 

It was full of passion and love, sprinkled with a bit of lust. He laid you gently on the couch, his body hovering over yours, and you finally broke apart. He gave a few gentle pecks down your neck, and returned to eye level with you. 

“Oh darling..” you spoke, trying to contain the emotions that were sure to spill out of you. Both of you were at a loss for words, simply staring at each other, taking in everything you’d missed out on. You smiled lovingly at him, and the corners of his mustache quirked as he did the same. You giggled, fiddling with his locks. 

“You grew a beard.” you stated, still admiring the sight before you.

“Do you not like it?” he asked, more so a rhetorical question than anything. 

“I find it very sexy.” you reassured him. 

He chuckled a bit, never taking his eyes off you. “Oh my dear,” he stroked the side of your face, and he brought you to sit back up. “I haven’t a clue how I managed without you.” 

A certain emotion flashed over his eyes, and he fought off a grimace, trying to outrun the hell that lived within him. You placed a hand on his cheek, your wedding band giving a bit of a cold sting to his face. 

He gently took your hand and brought it into view; his eyes crystallized once he saw the ring he’d given you so many years ago. “You kept it..” his tone was unsure, as though he was confused as to why you did. 

“Of course I did Siri, I love you.” your heart ached for him; he must’ve thought you’d moved on before he’d seen Remus again. You remembered the conversation you had with Remus a few months ago, where he opened up about seeing Sirius again. They’d been writing every couple of months, and Remus had to constantly reassure him that you were still available; that you’d never given up on your husband. 

“I’ll always love you.” you furrowed your brow in an attempt to conceal yet another sob.

“And I, you. My sweet girl.” Sirius placed a kiss on your knuckles, then moved back to your lips. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.” he mumbled into the kiss, and you felt yourself melt in his embrace, knowing that you and your husband were finally reunited. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi my lovelies!! I hope you enjoyed reading this just as much as I loved writing it! Let me know if I should follow up on this “Reunited” fic, because I’m really looking forward to adding more. That would include something romantic and/or something smutty, I’m honestly up for anything bahaha. Please send in your requests, whether it be for this fic or really anyone in Harry Potter. And don’t be afraid of giving feedback, I’d love to know what you think! <3

~Aurora 

[characteroulette]

well all rightie then, it’s time to analyse how DGS1 handles grief really well in my opinion

(once again, spoilers for all of DGS1)

(also some spoilers for the original trilogy games) (and a little of DGS2)

okay So my thesis statement here is that Asougi’s character in DGS1 is the vessel through which Ryuunosuke and Susato’s grief is explained. Everything about how they relate to Asougi is their dealing with their grief in a simple message: Loss hits hard, but you have to continue to live and love. Life Goes On, shaping that grief into yourself if you allow it.

We start off with Case 1 as our baseline. The set-up. It’s a routine to show what life is like for Ryuunosuke before tragedy. (Fitting for an AA protagonist to have their baseline of normal being accused of murder.) This case does a really, really good job of setting up Asougi as our friend, our partner, whom we might spend the rest of the game with.

(I mean, the death flag’s kinda obvious if you’re genre-savvy; the mentor must die so that the student may grow into their own. But Asougi’s so likeable! He’s confident, genuine with Ryuunosuke, comfortably teasing, and looks at you with the same eyes as Klavier. What’s not to love? Also that small hint of something deeper is so tantalising that for it to go unresolved is pretty unthinkable.)

It’s important for us to see how much Asougi means to Ryuunosuke, how much the two really are best friends. This set-up is pivotal to what happens next in Case 2: the drop.

The way Ryuunosuke reacts to learning about Asougi’s death is real. He tries to deny it at first, can’t bring himself to believe it. Especially since he’s been accused of the crime! But the moment he sees that photo of Asougi that Sherlock took, that’s where the truth of it hits and he can’t run from it anymore. All he can do is try to push past that biting grief to at least solve his friend’s murder and set things right.

Susato’s own grief is portrayed really well here, too. She’s so angered and clouded by it that she totally ignores the fact that Asougi and Ryuunosuke are best friends and believes Ryuunosuke to be the murderer. Really, she just blames Ryuunosuke because it’s easier that way, since the wound cuts just as deep for her.

What really strikes me, though, is how the whole case isn’t just a one-note misery. Like real life, the two slip into sadness when they remember their dear friend, but they’re still able to joke around. They still get upset or sarcastic or excited. Because, though their grief affects them immensely, the message is that life continues. It can’t just stop for them like it did for their friend; life goes on. Not out of malice, but out of necessity.

Also, the way Sherlock acknowledges their grief is pretty great. That felt hugely validating to me, how he tells them that their mourning is important and how his jovial, joking tone was never properly taking that into account. The way he continues breaking in at the end to lighten the mood, too, is his own genuine way of trying to help, exhausting though he may be. It’s appreciated, at the least, to keep us the players from breaking down into tears as the conclusion rolls with no real satisfaction at the mystery being solved.

That final conversation between Susato and Ryuunosuke, at least, is hugely cathartic to make up for that. It sounds like it should feel rushed, honestly, dealing with the majority of the grieving process in just Case 2, but it doesn’t at all. It seems properly healthy, like the two are doing their best by confiding and taking comfort in one another in order to celebrate Asougi’s goals, to keep going where he can’t. Ryuunosuke and Susato both form their resolve here to continue to live, not just for Asougi, but for themselves as well. For life’s sake.

Because, again, life goes on.

(A brief tangent: Seeing the contrast of this story versus the original trilogy is also a really neat sort of view into Shu Takumi’s growth as a writer. Or the AA series’ growth as a whole. How Edgeworth handled his grief by never really acknowledging it in AA1, how he basically ran away from it by refusing to live as a sort of punishment against himself, is really sad. Then Phoenix handling his grief in JFA by turning to anger and resentment is just as heartbreaking. Phoenix disavows himself from it, trying to spare himself the pain by denying it, which only hurt him more and he had to have everyone around him break him out of that awful mindset. Then in T&T it’s Godot’s grief which drives the plot, as he turns his anger on Phoenix unjustly. He blames Phoenix for Mia’s death and lashes out at everyone instead of allowing himself the time to properly grieve.

And then DGS1 comes along to say that maybe the answer is just that life goes on and we have healthier ways to reconcile with our grief and it’s just real neat to see!)

In Case 3 and 4, we can see through Ryuunosuke’s discussion with Lord Vortex (/Stronghart) the continuation of his handling this grief. It’s a burden, one Ryuunosuke doesn’t fully understand, but he fervently takes upon himself because we want to live for those we’ve lost. (It is the Wright way, the Naruhodou way, to take on the aspirations of the friends you’ve lost. To mimic their mannerisms, their ambitions, in order to keep them close to your heart.)

(That’s a whole other can of worms I could dive into, honestly, how their decision to give Ryuunosuke all of Phoenix’s poses for the whole ancestor vibe while ALSO making it clear that Ryuunosuke took them from Asougi to begin with, it’s just. It’s good, it’s perfect, it’s the same brand of gay the series is known for and I’m love it.)

You also see, as the trial of Case 3 progresses, how Ryuunosuke is basically just living off of ‘what would Asougi do?’ as Susato coaches him along and it’s fun and bittersweet all the way through. Case 4 is where he gains more confidence in himself, but he still defaults to thinking of Asougi’s unwavering trust in him to help him and every time it’s handled with tenderness and shows just how much Ryuunosuke loved his friend.

And, if you’re like me and take every opportunity to examine Asougi’s badge and present it to Susato (/others), you see how they continue to grow with their grief. It starts off with both of them being unable to say much, still weighed down heavily by Asougi’s loss. Though they are continuing and life goes on, it’s still a wound too fresh to approach and hard for them to properly explain.

By Case 5, though, the two of them are more conversational. They’ve found their words, they’ve mended that wound as much as possible so that life won’t leave without them. It still hurts, of course, but it’s easier to think about. It’s easier to reconcile when they’ve been working hard and making friends and continuing to live. It’s small, but the progression is there and I really appreciate it.

Speaking of Case 5, though, everything about this one, in regards to Asougi, is pure catharsis. It really is like they’re looking their grief right in the face and accepting it as a part of themselves. Ryuunosuke looks back on his friend not just with fondness, but with gratefulness that Asougi could make such a big impact on his life.

(This is similar to the whole Phoenix and Mia thing, I feel, since Phoenix often thought of his mentor with the same sort of tone. At least, I think so. Remarkable how Phoenix’s grief can mirror the finalised version of Ryuunosuke’s with the help of spirit channeling! /joke)

Ryuunosuke and Susato have etched Asougi into their hearts and their persons and it’s just really, very good I like it a lot.

(okay time for a few paragraphs on DGS2 and Asougi)

Case 1 one DGS2 is a neat look into Susato’s mind and thought process. You can definitely tell she’s still just a 16-year-old with the mistakes she makes and how she tries to handle her own arguments, which is very cute. We also get to see her actually talking to Asougi’s grave and then see how her own relationship with Asougi has influenced her style (/poses) and aspirations. (Ryuunosuke, too. It’s cute to see how she’s ended up a mixture of both of them.) And it’s a great rug pull moment for the player, since the way that the grief is handled in DGS1 is so good and (almost) final that hearing Asougi might not actually be dead is a bit like digging up old wounds. I mean, we went the entirety of the first game coming to terms with his death, what do you mean his body went missing??

(Case 2 serves as a reminder. Like haha remember how Susato and Ryuunosuke both love Asougi and are sad about his death? Here’s the baseline again, get ready to have it wrecked!)

And Case 3 is phenomenal, too. The way Van Zieks is so understanding in his response to showing him Asougi’s badge is just. It’s perfect, he’s so gentle and empathetic that it shocks Ryuunosuke (even though Ryuunosuke did the same understanding and concern for Van Ziek’s situation Ryuunosuke please). Then the way that Ryuunosuke sees Asougi, disguised in a cloak and mask, and immediately recognises him. To me, that really shows how much he loved his friend. He knew Asougi for about a year and it’s been about nine months since Asougi’s death, yet Ryuunosuke recognises him just by the way he carries himself.

But, to him, Asougi is dead. He’s made peace with that. So, even if it plays on his mind, he can’t allow himself to think that. He puts it out of his mind completely and doesn’t think on it again.

At least, until Susato (who reacted very realistically by shutting down the possibility that Asougi might still be alive because that means Sherlock lied and she couldn’t take having that hope break her worse than before) sees the exact same thing just as immediately and shouts after him. The fact that they both see this disguised man and know it can be no one besides Asougi is insane. It’s love. It makes me cry, I wish they could’ve hugged him during the big reveal (though I know Japanese culture’s just not like that).

Anyway, DGS2 diatribe over. Back to the conclusion.

The whole of DGS1 is just a masterful example of how grief doesn’t have to destroy you, of how life can go on and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and how channeling that grief into motivation to keep their memories alive can be powerful. That it’s okay to still feel grief even as you heal, that it’s okay to have fun and keep living even as you mourn. Life is a mixture of levity and tragedy and, to me, DGS1 nails that mixture with perfection.

Absolutely legendary. Join me next time when I dive into the main theme of DGS2, which is literally ‘the dead will come back to life to haunt you’ thanks for coming to my essay talk

[kiss-inthekitchen]

of the jealous kind

summary: you and Harry are out at the local farmer’s market when a girl starts flirting with you and Harry gets jealous. only thing is, you don’t exactly realize she’s flirting with you. classic wlw vibes, am i right ladies? (please say yes)

my submission for @bopbopstyles and @harrysclementines bi-ficathon!

a/n: fun times with Harry calling you “his girl” and being just a bit pathetically jealous (his words!) also i might continue this...in a smut type of fashion... if y’all are interested

word count: 2.2k 

--

“Oh, let’s stop over there! I want to get one of those chocolate chip custard things,” you exclaimed, spotting your favorite bakery stand at the farmer’s market and dragging Harry along by your joined hands. 

“A’right, love, m’comin,” he laughed, trying to keep in step with your suddenly quickened pace. 

It was a Sunday morning, cloudy but not too cold, and you and Harry were visiting your favorite farmer’s market in town. You tried to come here at least twice a month if your schedules allowed it. Today, it just so happened, you both had the entire day free to spend with each other. 

Harry knew you had to look at everything the bakery had to offer before you inevitably bought the same items as usual (a good, crusty country loaf and the same danish you never remembered the name of). There was a produce stand across the way that immediately caught Harry’s eye, a “buy 2 get 1 free” sign atop a display of various berries calling out to him. You noticed his distraction, the two of you speaking at the same time.

“M’gonna-” 

“Go on, then.”

“Know me so well, don’t you?” He gave you a soft smile and pressed a kiss to your temple before heading off in pursuit of his beloved fruit. 

You took the last few steps over to the booth’s main table, which held a majority of the baked goods as well as this week’s free sample: a garlic rosemary bread, cut into bite size pieces. You picked one up, on instinct taking a sidelong glance at the basket of your favorite pastries by the register, when the woman behind the counter finished ringing up a customer and turned to you.   

“Can I help you with anything, hon?”

“Oh, um, I’m just looking,” you answered, looking up at her. She must’ve been new, you thought, not recognizing her from your previous visits. She had dark hair, twisted up into a bun at the back of her head, an oversized t-shirt with a phoenix decal on it. Her name tag informed you that her name was Allie. 

“Alright, well, I will say that’s the best flavor we’ve got,” she gestures to the small wedge still held between your fingers. 

“Really? That’s quite a bold statement,” you smile back at her, appreciating her friendliness.  

“You’re gonna want to trust me on this one,” she said, nodding at you to go ahead. 

You took a bite, blushing a bit at the knowledge you were being watched and that she was awaiting your response. “Mhm,” you agreed, around a mouthful of bread. “Okay, you’re right, that’s better.” 

“Thought so. I have been told I’ve got very good taste.” 

“Well, I’m not surprised.” 

She made eye contact with you, the hint of a smile playing on her lips. “So, will you be taking a loaf of the garlic rosemary then?” she asked. 

“Yes, please.” Why not try something new, you thought. And she was right, it was delicious. You’re sure Harry would like it too, and you could just imagine the playful ribbing he was going to give you when he noticed you’d deviated from your usual order. “Oh, could I also get that-” 

“The chocolate chip danish? I saw you eyeing it earlier,” she said, picking one up with a gloved hand and placing it in a small paper bag. “That one’s on the house.” 

“Oh, you’re so sweet! Thank you.” Allie was really on top of it with the customer service. 

“Anytime,” she said, “Anything else I can get you?” 

“No, that’s all for me! Thanks again.”

She rang up your order, handing you the bag before speaking. “You know, we also come out to the beachside farmer’s market on Wednesday’s, if you’re ever in the area. I’ll write it down for you,” she said, picking up a business card from a stack on the table and turning it over to write on the back. 

“Sounds great,” you replied, mostly to be polite. You probably wouldn’t make it out, Wednesdays being a busy day for you with classes. 

Just as she was handing it back to you, Harry appeared behind you, fruit in tow. 

“Thank you so much, have a good one!” you said cheerily, dropping the card into the bag with your goods. You’d look at it when you got home.

She waved back. “See you soon, hopefully.”

You smiled as you turned around to see Harry already standing there, startling a bit at his unexpected presence. He raised his eyebrows a bit, but didn’t say anything as he put his free arm around your shoulders. The two of you headed back to the main walkway, and he waited until your new friend was out of earshot before he spoke. 

“So, yeh just gonna let someone flirt with my girl like that?” 

“What?” That was not what you were expecting. “She wasn’t flirting with me, Harry.” 

“Oh, please, love. Saw the way she was lookin’ at you. Poor girl. I’m sure you led her on.” 

“Excuse me, I did no such thing,” you scoffed. “And she wasn’t even flirting with me, so I couldn’t have.” 

He breezed right past your denial, having already made up his mind. You weren’t going to be able to convince him otherwise, you knew that by now. “Told ya before love, you come off very flirtatious. Almost feel bad for her.” He was smirking down at you, the bastard. “Almost.” 

“Being a pest,” you grumbled, shoving against his shoulder with yours to throw him off balance. 

He stumbled a bit, but recovered quickly. “Oi! ‘S not very nice, is it?” 

You giggled in response, loving when he used that playful tone. He tried to keep a serious face on while looking back at you but failed almost immediately, looking at you with such adoration in his eyes that you forgot what you’d both been talking about. 

“Anyway,” you sang, reaching out for his free hand and threading your fingers through his. “What did you buy?” 

His face lights up at the memory of his purchase. “Got strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries, plus some local clover honey.” 

“Such a sweet tooth, hm?” 

“S’pose I do,” he said with a slight smirk. “Ready to go home and eat, then?” 

“We’ve barely been here half an hour, H. Trying to get me home already?”

“Look too good today, love. Worried if we stick around I’ll have to beat the other vendors off with a stick.” 

“I thought we were done with this conversation,” you rolled your eyes at him playfully, but allowed him to steer you back toward the car park. You were getting kind of hungry anyway. 

--

You’re sat on your kitchen island at home, Harry placing the bags on the counter next to you. 

“Have a nice time, love?” He asks, moving over to you and situating his body between your knees at the edge of the counter. 

You drape your arms around his neck, thumb coming up to his cheek to rub back and forth as he leans into your touch. “Always have a good time when I’m with you,” you breathe. 

“That’s m’girl,” he speaks in a husky tone, before leaning in to press his lips to yours, slow and lazy at first. That is, until he lifts his hands to your thighs, sliding them around to your back and suddenly tugging you closer to the edge of the island, body flush with his. You gasp into his mouth at the action, and you can feel rather than see his resounding smirk. 

“Harry,” you pull back, attempting to admonish him but no one would know from the way your voice shakes. 

“Sorry, love. Know what they say, kitchen’s the most romantic room in the house.” 

“I don’t know anyone who says that.” 

“Y’do now,” he grins lopsidedly at you, and it’s all you can do to remember that the two of you still need to eat. 

You grin back at him. “You’re a dork, you know that?” 

“But you love me,” he responds, and you can’t argue with that. “A’right, I’ll take everything out and we can have a picnic in the backyard, how’s that sound?” 

Your smile nearly knocks him off his feet. “I’ll go get the picnic blanket!” 

He removes himself from between your legs and you slide off the counter and head towards the linen closet in the hallway. When you return, Harry’s taken out the loaf of bread and the danish, and is holding the business card in between two fingers. 

“What’s this, then?” He asks, holding up the bakery’s business card, logo facing you. 

“It’s just their card, the cashier told me they come out to another farmer’s market during the week and she was gonna write it down for me.” 

“Oh, she wrote it down, love.” In a second, he elegantly flips the card over in his fingers to show you the back. “But that’s not all she wrote.” Underneath the name of the other market is her name and, unmistakably, a phone number. 

“No!” you gasp, not believing he was right and you’d fucking missed it. 

“And you bought a new flavor bread?”

“Well, I-  Allie said it was the best one…” you trail off, trying to remember the details of your earlier interaction. Maybe Harry was right, you guess you did seem a bit flirtatious.

“Oh, Allie said, did she? That’s all it takes?” He’s kind of joking, kind of not, when it finally sinks in for you that you’ve, yet again, completely failed to notice when another woman was trying to flirt with you. 

“Oh, god damn it!” you exclaim, completely in your own head and you didn’t even hear what Harry had said to you. “I do this every time!” 

What’s left of Harry’s joking demeanor drops. “Every time? How often does this happen?!” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice again.” 

Your friends were gonna have a field day with this one. Three out of the four of you identified as bi or pan, though when you’d all become friends back in high school only one of you had actually been out. Now, you all joked that you had one “token straight” in the friend group. 

“Y/N?!”

“I know, H, can you give me just a moment, I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m apparently a raging stereotype,” you reply, laughing at yourself a bit for being so predictable. 

“Oh, of course, don't mind me. I’ll just be here. Waiting. Very patiently.” It’s a wonder he doesn’t start tapping his foot, clearly the farthest thing from patient right now. 

You snap back to attention, realizing that if you don’t stop Harry he’s just going to keep spiraling. “You do know I’m dating you, right?”

“Do I?” 

“Oh, come on. You’re being such a baby about this!” 

“Oi! I am not!” He huffs, and you can just picture him as an indignant toddler, standing with his arms folded and a deep frown set on his face. 

You hold back a laugh at the image you’ve conjured, closing the distance between the two of you. “Baby, I love you,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek.“You know I do.” His jaw. “Why don’t we just throw that out, hm?” You kiss his lips this time, reaching for the card and plucking it from his fingers before tossing it away from you.  

“I guess,” he grumbles as you pull away, but you can tell he’s not quite over it. 

You rest your chin against his chest, looking up at him with your best puppy dog eyes. “You don’t believe me, gorgeous? Need me to prove it to you?” 

“Maybe,” he mumbles, and you know that you’ve brought him back from his little jealousy spiral at the mere suggestion, so you decide to make him wait for it. Just a little while.  

“More than happy to,” you murmur, tracing your fingertips over the back of his hand. “Only thing is, you’re gonna have to have this picnic with me first,” you reach behind him for the blanket, “and you have to stop pouting.” You step around him, laughing as you run toward the glass door that leads to the yard.

“M’not pouting,” he lies to the empty kitchen as he grabs the rest of the food and some utensils before following you outside. 

His mood is definitely lifted, though, when he comes outside to find you seated on the blanket already, grinning widely at him and holding your arms out for him to crawl into. 

Maybe he had been just a tad bit dramatic. 

--

About half the bread is gone now, a bowl of honeyed berries and a plate full of crumbs resting on the cloth-covered grass next to you. Harry’s shifted so he’s laying down with his head resting on your soft thighs, with you carding your fingers through his short curls, just enjoying each other’s company. 

“Wait a minute,” you break the comfortable silence, a thought suddenly popping into your mind. “Other people flirt with you all the time! Sometimes right in front of me!” 

“And?” he muses, reluctantly sitting up in order to face you. 

“And! I never get jealous like that!” 

“I know. Rather insulting, if you ask me. You can get possessive, love. I certainly won’t mind it.”

[falconcoast]

the parent trap | diluc x reader | two.

two. phoenix 

phoenix’s plan is brilliant. nothing is wrong with it. until one donna blake comes along to ruin it. 

masterlist

author’s note; this was fun!! i can’t wait to write dawn’s section :) 

waiting was never a fun game to diluc as he rolled on the balls of his feet in napa airport’s parking lot. under the bright california sun, the white charter plane shined. his little girl, phoenix, would be on that plane. when the white steps to the plane fluttered down, his heart soared. 

stepping off the private plane first was phoenix, little arms full of red luggage. my god, she’s growing up too fast! diluc immediately thought as he tucked his hands into his pockets. she stopped for a moment, putting a hand to her mouth. he opened his arms to her as she ran up to him in glee. 

“welcome home, phoenix,” diluc gleefully cheered as he swept her up into his arms. her laugh rang out as he kissed her forehead. he could see small remnants of you, despite looking mostly like himself. 

“dad!” she squealed with equal enthusiasm and arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “finally!”

“finally is right,” he laughed as he placed her down. “eight weeks is far too long away at camp. i’m never sending you back.” 

“so, father, what’s been going on at the winery?” she asked as they began making their way to his car. he shouldered phoenix’s bag. “i mean, how’s adelinde and the rest?” 

“every one is great. they all can’t wait to see you,” he grinned as he unlocked the jeep. “eight weeks really is too long. we missed you, phoenie. and a lot’s been going on around here too.”

“well, a lot’s happened to me too, dad,” she chuckled as she watched him put in her luggage. “i mean, i practically feel like a new woman, ahaha!” 

“oh, don’t say that, i feel old.” as they entered the front of the car and buckled up, diluc’s daughter went quiet while she observed his face. “did i cut myself while shaving? what’s wrong?”

“oh, no, no! that’s not it at all, dad!” she waved her hands in defense. “it’s just--i’m seeing you for the first time! in-in a long time, i mean!”

“hmph,” he said with a little chuckle while backing up his car. “yes, i feel like you have also changed, phoenix.”

the napa valley vineyards stretched as far as the eye could see, rolling hills ripe with juicy grapes that were perfect for harvest. warm, california air flooded through the car. under a bright blue sky, diluc and his daughter made their way back to the dawn winery and vineyards. briefly, he watched as phoenix stuck her head out the window, bright red hair fluttering in the wind. 

“dad, the valley is so beautiful,” she said wistfully, turning to face him. 

“really now? you’ve lived here all your life and you’re only coming to appreciate it now?” he teased lightly, but she only laughed.

“i-i guess going to camp has taught me the beauty of nature, dad, haha!” phoenix said frantically, and her father raised an eyebrow.

“you’ve been saying that quite a bit. ‘dad’. why so?” he asked.

“well, dad,” she began, looking out the window once more. “there was a girl i met at camp, and she was telling me about how she didn’t have a dad like how i don’t have a mom. during those eight weeks, i realized just how lucky i am to have a dad. so i’m gonna take every opportunity i can to call you it!”

“how endearing of you,” he only smiled back, shaking his head. as the car began slowing down for a turn, the sight of the the winery and vineyards were in view.  

“oh my god, oh my god!” phoenix all but squealed, causing diluc to smile. “it’s so pretty!”

“you’re beginnning to sound like the phoenie i know,” he chuckled in response.  

dawn winery was a sight to behold. the manor was stood high on the hill, with a winding driveway. the vineyards were neatly made of lattices and lines, plump with ruby red grapes. the winery’s workers waved as they drove by, shouting out greetings to phoenix. she grinned in response, waving back. 

phoenix’s eagerness and general happiness reminded diluc of you. as he pulled into the driveway, he saw a small head of blond hair peek out from the front door.

“master diluc! welcome home from the airport,” adelinde called, waving distantly. 

“afternoon, adelinde!” he replied as he unbuckled his seat. phoenix jumped out of the car instantly, running to the front steps of the mansion. “phoenie’s home from camp!”

“oh my goodness, let me see her!” she squealed as he pulled out the suitcases from the back. with a distant smile, he shook his head. this was the good life. 

“my goodness! i can’t put my finger on it, but you’ve changed, phoenix!” adelinde said with widened eyes as diluc rolled his sleeves up and lugged the suitcases up the stairs. 

“really? i think i’m just the same old me, if anything,” his daughter laughed. “all i’ve done is grown an inch.”

“that must be it! you’ve gotten more pretty! you almost remind me of…” the maid looked over at diluc. he froze, looking at phoenix and her. maybe it was the time he hadn’t seen her, but she reminded him even more of you now than ever. the way she carried herself with grace and the way she even talked seemed to be all inherited from you. “ah, you know what? let’s unpack upstairs.” the maid grabbed the suitcases from diluc, escorting phoenix inside.

“by the way, master diluc, she’s here for you. she’s out in the courtyard, i think.”

“she? who’s she?” phoenix asked.

“once you’re done, do you mind meeting me at the courtyard? i have someone who i’d like you to meet, dear.” diluc replied, waving her off distantly.

“well, adelinde, who’s this ‘she’ that father was talking about?” phoenix asked with curious eyes as they reached her room. on the wall hung several horse competition ribbons and books of all kind in a shelf nearby. the latest laptop was idle on her desk and the newest game console was at the ready nearby. wow, phoenix thought. 

“really? you’re not going to tell me about your time at camp?” she teased before setting down the suitcases. “well, i suppose it won’t hurt to let you know what’s happened in the short span of time that you’ve been gone. take a look out the window and see for yourself.”

the girl clambered to the window, peering out and to the courtyard. to her surprise, it was her father and a woman with short hair in his arms. they were talking eagerly and she even saw him smiling. the maid continued on as she put away her clothes. “i know your father’s a grown man, but this...this is ridiculous. he’s reverting back to his old habits of being blindly in love.”

“what’s she doing with m-i mean, dad?” she asked, slight panic in her eyes. 

“her name’s donna blake, and she’s a publicist from san francisco. your father hired her at the start of the summer to do some publicity on the vineyard, but i think that she’s selling herself more than those grapes. she’s obsessed with him.”

“whaddya mean? do you think that she doesn’t even like father?” outside, the woman placed a hand on diluc’s chest and heat rose to his cheeks. phoenix cringed, looking back at adelinde. 

“well, think about it. has your father ever been interested in anyone? your father is so focused on his business that he’s never had enough time to think about love. and then this--this slinky young thing comes along, and it hit me. there’s a million reasons why he’s got that girl is giggling, and all of them are in the napa valley community bank.”

“so she just wants him for his money?” 

“what do i know? maybe she really does like him. but if anything, she’s got him wrapped right around her finger. they ride your horses together, they go out to dinner every night, and they always drink your father’s special champagne. but don’t let me influence you. why not meet her for yourself?”

“yeah…” phoenix replied, looking at the happy looking couple. something about those two didn’t sit right with her, and she practically ran out the door, grabbing her swimsuit with her. “yeah, i’ll meet her, alright.”

the ragnvindr courtyard, like the rest of the manor, was grand. the centerpiece was the pool, bordered with lounge chairs. neatly trimmed topiary bushes and fully bloomed daisies burst forth in the garden. rolling mountains nestled beside the manor, and the back view of the vineyard was visible. phoenix made her way out of the mansion and to the poolside, already dressed in her bathing suit. 

“oh, there she is,” diluc said, rising from his lounge chair by the pool and escorting her to a long-legged woman. “phoenie, this is my friend i’d like you to meet, donna blake.” 

she’s pretty, phoenix thought. not as pretty as mom, but pretty. donna blake was the definition of a femme fatale. her chestnut brown hair was tucked neatly behind her sunhat, and red lipstick bright against her pale skin. she was sipping on wine that was no doubt from her father’s finest collection.  her smile seemed friendly enough, but it didn’t sit right with the younger girl. “hi there! i cannot believe that i’m meeting the famous phoenix. i’ve really looked forward to this all summer long.”

“really now?” she replied. “well, here i am.” unfortunately, she thought. 

“oh, luc, she’s adorable!” donna cooed and to which phoenix grimaced. no one ever called her father by a nickname. “you know, the way your father talked about you, i thought you were a little girl, but you are so grown up.”

“i’ll be 12 soon. how old are you?” phoenix countered with an angelic smile, tucking her hands behind her back. 

with a pained laugh, donna replied. “twenty-six.”

phoenix looked at diluc with a grimace. “really now? only fifteen years older than i am. how old are you again, dad?”

“and you said that you weren’t interested in math,” diluc only chuckled, attempting to alleviate the tense air. “look, i’m going to head to the cellar to fetch me and donna more wine. how about you two get to know each other? i’ll be right back.”

“see you in a bit, darling,” the older lady replied, waving back to him with a wink. suddenly her phone rang, and she picked it up. curiously, phoenix listened in as she picked up, sitting by the poolside. “donna blake speaking. oh, hello, cardinal of daybreak! of course, yes. it’s for a local charity? it sounds very worthwhile to the winery, i agree. unfortunately, mr. ragnvindr will be out of the country those days. oh, yes, absolutely. i’ll relay it right back to him, mhm! bye-bye now.” turning to phoenix, she addressed her. “so! how was your summer camp in maine? was it fabulous?”

“my dad is going out of the country?” the girl replied with incredulous eyes. this was the first she had heard of anything of the sort. 

“oh, no,” she chuckled. “i just had to tell a little white lie to get him out of something.” changing the subject, she leaned forward in her pool chair. “you know, i have never heard a man talk about his daughter the way he talks about you. you two are obviously incredibly close.”

“well, y’know, we’re closer than close. father and i are all we have,” she said as she stood up, cannonballing into the pool. with a shriek, a splash of water landed on donna’s white dress. as phoenix rose to the surface of the pool, she only smiled innocently. “sorry, don! did i get you wet?”

“just a little, phoenie,” donna grimaced before walking over to the side of the pool. she put her hands on her knees as she looked down on the red-headed girl. “hey, look. your daddy took me riding through the vineyard the other day and he let me ride your horse. i hope you don’t mind.” 

“oh, sure. sprout’s used to strange women riding her. not that you’re strange or anything. actually, compared to the others, you’re relatively normal, which i like!”   

“others? what others?”

“you want the 411?” 

“what’s the 411?”

“the information, the lowdown on other women. can’t say i blame you,” phoenix said as she floated on her back. “i mean, i’d wanna know if i was number 28--i mean, 29--in a man’s life too.”

“i’m number 29?” she asked with widened eyes.

“yeah. 28 was abigail from detroit, 27 was philippa from los angeles, 26 was maria from new york. i could go on and on. it’s always the same routine, too. horseback riding through the vineyards, romantic dinners with the special wine because he usually drinks grape juice, and the moonlight swims.”

“here we are,” diluc announced as he strolled back into the courtyard. “my special wine. did you find something to talk about while i was gone?” phoenix gave a knowing look at donna before diving down into the pool. 

for a moment, she floated in the dark, under the surface, grasping at her thoughts. clearly, diluc was infatuated with her, which was worrisome. as adelinde had said, all she wanted was to be a trophy wife living a comfortable life. donna’s smiles were pointed and sharp, but her father didn’t see anything like that. 

when she rose to the surface, swimming on her back, she had a revelation. phoenix did not want this donna lady to stick around, and for two reasons. one: it would ruin the plan. and two: 

she was nothing like mother. 

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