#I like him a lot okayyyy
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doodle17 · 17 days ago
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I knew I'd have a use for this image eventually :D
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(You at Raz)
first of all can I have this second of all AAHAHGGHGGHHHHHGGHUUUUUHH NOOOOO YEAH. YEAH THATS RIGHT. AUGH FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK
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leavethebagelalone · 21 days ago
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the bittersweet feeling of remembering what you could have lost
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dankovskaya · 7 months ago
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WHAT the fuck . Huh.
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adhdvane · 2 years ago
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Okay but the new gbf event, literally going to cry. I stayed up to read it last night (er this morning at 3 am), bc I was excited about it being a sequel to Together In Song. I loved Together in Song, that event fucking crushed my hear (also shipping Elta with Caro). This new event was SO GOOD. I LOVE CANTATE. WHAT THE FCUK WHAT A BABY. HER PASSION AND ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND STRUGGLE AND LOVE. What a wonderful character. I really wanted to start crying when she was so happily and excitedly info dumping about violins and Selfira was genuinely interested and enjoying listening. I need to ship this so bad. Like, I usually don’t go to hard for ships that seem mostly wholesome, but god. You can’t tell me not to hc Cantate as autistic, like there is no way I won’t. I want Selfira to meet Cantate again and for them to make music together and fall in love and ;ojlhkgjhfdghjhjgfdsfgh
more under the cut because i take issue with some of the ending of the event and started ranting about it lol
The only issue I had with the story was the ending with the “see the price is important so your instruments will be bought by professionals who can play well and bring joy to listeners.” Like whoa, I’m sorry lol, hold the fuck up. Please tell me why conflating wealth with skill (and talent as much as I hate the word talent, bc it’s often used to overlook the hard work people have put in to honing their skill lol) is a good and accurate idea. Like people who are poorer are incapable of being extremely skilled in music, what the fck gbf? Like I get the issue of don’t price your skill so slow because you put so much work into your ability. Your skill’s have value and unfortunately in a capitalistic society money is required to survive. It is her profession. In a perfect world it could just be a hobby and I think there should be zero issue letting her give instruments away for as cheap as possible. Let her do what she wants. And it was important for her to learn that letting someone thank you with materials things is not a bad thing, and it can be insulting or hurtful to refuse their gift (and explaining that there’s a cultural barrier here too that’s causing the conflict, which was great). I feel for Caro about not being sure if pushing her in the direction to leave the island and sell her instruments will make her happy. It did selfish to think of it like but all that waisted talent. Like cool, but maybe just let her do want she wants? I guess the idea was supposed to be like, well she wants to give more people a voice and doing that and helping her reach her goal means spreading her work beyond the island. I guess there was some level of, she also really needs to price higher for the sake of not being taken advantage of??? But the story insisted she was really good judge of character??? So like I guess in the end I think the only reasonable reason that I think should of been why she should price her instruments higher is that leaving the island means leaving her apprenticeship, means needing money to support herself, and the prices she was trying to charge before did not accurately reflect the hours of labor she was putting into each instrument. Like the island mentions that price of material sometimes affects the cost but did not say anything about the time that is put into making an item. I think the first part of the argument that she should value her ability more was a better argument than, you need to make your instruments more expensive so random people who cannot play them to their full potential don’t buy them all. Because professionals only care about the monetary value of an instrument. And also only professionals should play her instruments that’s literally not what she wanted. Idk that last bit came off really elitist/classist. Like let her make beautiful instruments for anybody who wants them, like fucking boo-hoo people who aren’t professional are playing them which means its a waist of such a good quality instrument, like fuck off with that. Low supply and high demand meaning only wealthy people get nice things is fucking messed up, lets not pretend it’s a good thing. Especially when the person suppling wants to let anyone be able to play. It’s fine to put value on the experiencing of listening to music but trying to gatekeep people out of playing via price is still shitty, you know. I’d rather we didn’t frame that as a “good” thing. So yeah, I agree that she should consider pricing higher because she needs desperately needs to value her own work more (and just value a lot of herself more, sob). But I don’t agree we should just pretend it’s totally good thing that society believes that high quality = most expensive and that the people who can afford them are the people that deserve them the most. :\\\\\ It’s a complicated subject and I think gbf fumbled on the end in that respect but I give them props for the, please value your work, bc there are a lot of young artists who underprice themselves because they don’t think about the amount of time they put into a piece and the amount of time they spent honing their craft. (obv the real solution lies in paying people more, a reasonable fucking wage, so people can fucking afford shit. and not letting .01% hoard money and not put it back into the fucking economy because they underpay their workers and [froths at the mouth]. anyways... it’s more complicated then that but I’m not here to have the discussion, it’s just relevant to mention with the topic of this event.)
#sammy liveblogs about granblue#sammy be quiet#regardless i love cantate#and i very very very much enjoyed the story#like tbh i don't fully read all that many gbf events because i'm usually mostly interested in a few characters#and gbf has a massive cast#and i tell myself the event story will go in my journal and i can go back and read it later#but i loved the previous event so i went in planing to not skimming it#and was very glad i did#tbh i like selfira way more now i was super indifferent about her before bc i am 100% guilty of skimming her fates#and i completely skimmed her previous event and she didn't do a whole lot in together in song#like elta was little more focused on in that event and i already like him bc he was sweet baby and had watched his sr events#bc when i was baby player and for a while when i did run sr teams for the pendents i used both his wind sr and light sr so i cared about him#im glad selfira got to shine more in this event and i do want to go back and read her other event#bc god also when she started crying about feeling like she ruined her great grandmothers legacy uhg it hit me in the chest#im very interested in her now <333#okayyyy i need to shut up now#im done i swear#OKAY ONE LAST THING#I JUST WANT TO SAY ITS NICE TO HAVE AN EVENT I ENJOYED THE STORY FOR AFTER DESTROYING MYSELF WITH GW#i needed some of my faith for why i love playing gbf so much after farming to the point of frying my brain#bc god do i really love some of the story in gbf (and i adore so many characters)#yes i'm a hopeless farming addict but i can burn out on that#and the reason i kept playing gbf was not just the gameplay loop but the story too#lol ''gameplay loop'' you mean farming hell]
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eyesocketinchworm · 2 years ago
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writing stuff set in present day is so dangerous because there's nothing that's happened in this world that hasn't also happened in the characters' and therefore none of my obsessions i can't make my main character (whos three quarters me on his mothers side) be annoying about. so re reading my writing is just like why is he talking about ziggy stardust why is he talking about donna tartt why is he talking about the odyssey why does he know the nine ranks of biblical angels
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gh0stsp1d3r · 6 months ago
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Can I request a cermy berzatto x reader ? Like the reader came to the restaurant many times and carmy look pretty flustered or something. So everyone one tries to make him have a date with the reader. Hope it’s okayyyy :))
I luv this! I’m so sorry this took a while babes ): this was so buried under my drafts
Hundred times better
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“Jesus- okay, you work the kitchen, and- and I guess I’ll work the register for a little.” He told his cousin, who had managed to fuck something up while working the register. How does that even happen?
Carmy attempted to fix it, grunting in annoyance when it didn’t work. You walked in quietly, he didn’t even hear you, just saw you in the corner of his eyes.
He glanced up, mouth falling open to say something. But when he looked at you, his movements paused and his mouth stayed open. You gave him a sweet smile, and a blush came over his face.
He snapped out of it, nodding and stuttering. “Uh- sorry, I’m just… having a bit of…” the cash register popped open, he sighed. “Trouble. What can I get for you?”
“You’re fine! you got it or…?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I’ll… fix this later.” He waved it off, looking back up at you, hands on his hips as he waited for your order. He listened, ringing it up.
“Alright, uhm… your total is 18.45.” He said, his eyes looking you up and down, his hands went over his face, giving you a small smile when he took your money.
“Thank you!” You told him, and even your voice had him weak in the knees. It was like honey, sweet.
You sat down, waiting for it to be brought out as you read through your book. You ignored the noises that came from the men.
“You fix it yet?” Richie yelled from inside the kitchen, looking at Carmy.
“Yes I f- yes!” He shouted, rolling his eyes as he entered the kitchen again. You glanced up, a small smile gracing your features. He was cute, you thought, watching him open the door, watching his muscles flex and his veins pop out his head. Angry, but cute.
You make it your life’s goal to come in often, so often that some of them learn your name. You know Richie, Sydney, Carmen, and a nice woman named Tina.
Carmen- or Carmy as most of them called him, was the one that intrigued you the most of all. He was the cute one- the one who smiled at no one but you, the one who complimented you every so often. You learned he was the owner.
And after a while, his chefs got tired of seeing Carmy angry and pissed off- more than he usually was. They quickly figured out what was wrong. He had a giant, fat, crush on you.
He didn’t want to accept it, but he knew the truth. In his heart.
He was packing up one day, cleaning up as Richie came up to him. He pat him on the back, Carmy jolted and shoved his hands off of him, glaring at him and beginning to walk towards the door.
“What?” He snapped finally, turning to Richie when he felt eyes burning in the back of his skull. They were outside, cars racing by.
“You should ask her out.”
“ What are you talking about, dude?” He furrowed an eyebrow.
“Y/n.”
Carmy rolled his eyes, letting out a huff and turning around.
“I’m serious! Think she seriously likes you. I catch her starin’ at you a lot when you’re not looking.” He told Carmy, wrapping an arm around him.
“No.” He grumbled out.
“Dude. Just ask her out. Sugar agrees.”
“I’m not asking her out while I’m working.”
“Then do it on your break or something.” He said, glancing over at his car. “But for real, tomorrow, I’m excepting to hear about a date.” He pointed, Carmy rolling his eyes and waving him off as he walked away and got into his car.
—-
The next day, it came naturally to the boy. He was sitting outside, a cigarette in between his lips, he blew out the smoke when he saw you form the corner of his eyes.
You were next to the alley, petting a little dog you have found, abandoned on the side of the road.
You didn’t even notice him until he came up.
“Uh, hey.” He spoke casually, throwing his cigarette onto the ground, smashing it with his foot. You looked up and over at him, smiling.
“Hey, Carmen. You on your break?”
“Yeah. Yeah. What uh.. who’s this little guy?”
“I don’t know. Saw him on the side of the road and I felt bad.” You told him, standing up, looking down at the dog and back at hjm.
“Oh.” He didn’t know how to respond.
“Yeah, might take him to the vet or something. But, how was your day? I was actually just about to come in.” You said with a giggle.
“It’s been going…” he told you, scratching the back of his neck and nodding. “How was yours?”
“It’s been okay.” You shrugged. “Well, I don’t wanna take up your time, and I should probably-“ you glanced down at the dog. “Get him in and stuff.”
“Yeah, yeah of course.”
You began to walk away, the dog following you before he called your name again.
“Uh- y/n?” He stuttered out.
“Yeah?” You turned around.
“Would you… wanna go out with me? Like… any time?”
You smiled at him again. “I would love that, Carmy.” You told him. And with his words, your day got a hundred times better.
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i-like-writing-stuff · 4 months ago
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the other five; part 2 [ five hargreeves x reader ]
okayyyy so it’s not my best work and i hope it is not too rushed or cheesy i have my best and i hope i didn’t crush y’all’s expectations 😭😭 writing this i literally gave no shit on the paradox psychosis, it’s also an AU where they did save the world, and not to mention again that everyone, including reader and five are around 32, basically the same age as the rest of the family
hope y’all still like it tho 🥹🥹🥹
part one
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“I can’t believe how bad you suck at Scrabble in every single timeline, my love,” Five laughed, shaking his head in disbelief as you threw a wooden piece at him over the table, offended to say the least;
“I can’t believe what a piece of shit you are in every timeline!”
“Oh, she’s also a sore loser in every timeline!”
As you threw yet another wooden piece at the man before you, you couldn’t help but get infected with his contagious laugh and burst into giggles as well. Five was smiling from ear to ear, as he was heavily laughing, with a hand over his chest, as his other one was resting peacefully on top of yours on the table.
You were sitting on the rug, on each side of the coffee table in your living room. It was a peaceful Thursday night, and you didn’t really have anything planned. You worked all day, so you figured that a glass of wine and some chocolate to snack on while watching a movie would be a decent end of the day, but a couple knocks on your door changed that.
It had been a while since you met Five, a couple of weeks maybe. Nothing short of a miracle helped you save the world for good this time, but that’s a story for another time. Things were actually looking up for you, as the Hargreeves siblings were all safe in one piece, as well as your own parents. Viktor was visiting you in the States a lot more often, Allison, Klaus and Claire resumed their day to day lives, Luther was trying to reabilitate the old mansion for good this time and actually own it, Ben and Jennifer were happily together, as Diego and Lila were doing their best to save their marriage for the sake of their three children.
As for Five, last you heard he was still in the CIA, but that was about it.
The Five from your timeline, that was.
The Five standing in front of you, he was an entirely different story.
After he comforted you the day you and Five broke up, you tried to prioritize your interests and went back to help the family stop the apocalypse. In spite of how much you wanted to just lay in his arms until you went completely numb, you knew that if that’s where you were meant to be, you’d find your way back eventually.
And you did.
“Fuck me, that was draining,” You rubbed your face, falling onto the dusty leather couch with a loud thud, next to Allison.
“You’d think we would get the hang of it by now,” She sarcastically said, letting her head fall on your shoulder.
“If there’s a fifth apocalypse, let’s just let it happen,” Klaus suggested, as some of you couldn’t help but nod in agreement.
“At least this one wasn’t Viktor’s fault,” Luther pointed out, making Viktor waive his arms;
“Excuse me?”
“I’m swear I’m gonna kill myself,” Ben rolled his eyes bored as ever. On the surface, that was.
“Jesus Christ, what the fuck?” Lila raised her brows at the man.
“Do it later, we literally just saved your sorry ass,” Five pointed out.
“And to think that after all this shit, on Monday I’m back to delivering packages…” Diego deeply sighed, as you all turned to judge him.
The nine of you were standing in the middle of the old mansion, trying to catch your breath after your hardest efforts yet to save the world. It was a mixture of everyone’s powers, a droplet of a miracle and lots of yelling around, but eventually you did it. You could finally breathe again and not worry that tomorrow may not come.
However, it didn’t mean that you weren’t suffering anymore. You tried your everything to keep your composure around the Five from your timeline and Lila, since apparently even Diego was willing to make amends. He loved his brother and his kids far too much, as well as his wife. He was willing to put it all behind, after all, you were given a second chance and he was not going to waste it.
“Am I going crazy or is that another Five?” Klaus pointed towards the main entrance to the living room, as your Five walked in with a slight smile across his lips and his hands in his pockets;
“I wouldn’t have bet my last two cents that you idiots would have actually managed to save the universe.”
“Asshole,” You giggled, getting up to run instantly into his arms.
Five was taken aback by your sudden excitement for a mere second, as he stumbled a step back, but not wasting another second to wrap his arms around your waist. He walked you back from the diner to the train station that would take you back to Five, and eventually back to your timeline a couple hours ago, but if you were to be honest it felt like forever since the last time you saw him. In spite of being literally yet not really the man who crushed your heart that day, you found such an intense comfort in him, it was stupid.
You were still grieving your old relationship, you were still heartbroken over what had happened. Six years with Five on your side were not that easy to get over, but this one truly helped you feel better. He was so thoughtful, so sweet and kind, yet sarcastic and sassy, he was totally your perfect match, which was insane since you thought that your ex-boyfriend of six years would be your soulmate.
“I hate you,” You declared, crossing your arms over your chest, “You have no business making fun of me- you’re like a hundred years old.”
“Don’t- Don’t go there and make it awkward,” Five instantly said, raising his hands in front of you, “You’re making me feel like a pervert.”
“As you should,” You lightly shrugged your shoulders, watching as he rolled his eyes playfully.
The two of you started spending a considerable amount of time together lately, as he managed to make himself comfortable in your timeline. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so happy, not only because he had lost his own Y/N, but he also hadn’t seen his siblings in such a long time. In his timeline, they didn’t manage to save themselves after Reggie reset the timeline at Hotel Oblivion, so getting his family back in a way was surreal to him as well.
Five felt alive again and it was all because of you.
All because he stumbled upon the love of his life that day in the subway system, the same woman who brought him back to his family. Maybe they weren’t actually the ones from his timeline, but they were his family nonetheless.
“Okay, one more round so I can shut your trash mouth again,” Five declared, straightening his jacket, as he leant over the table to rearrange the board.
“I can think of another way you can shut my trash mouth,” You smirked, leaning forward on the table as well, resting your weight on your elbows.
The two of you took things surprisingly slow. You couldn’t deny the instant connection, after all- you were a couple in every single timeline. But you couldn’t help the need to avoid the rush. Sure, you held hands sometimes and bump your knees under the table, or he would place wild strands of hair behind your ears and you would sometimes fix his tie for him. You also tended to share tight hugs that lasted maybe a second too long, or linger some touched here and there, but you neither of you ever had the courage to bring it up in a discussion.
You had never even kissed.
“My, my, is my little Y/N getting impatient?” Five mimicked your smirk, lightly grabbing your chin between his index and thumb.
One thing you knew for sure was that you didn’t have feelings anymore for your ex-boyfriend. There was no doubt about that. You just didn’t feel it would be wise to jump into another relationship so soon with his doppelgänger, but after these past few weeks you were so done waiting.
If there’s one thing you learned from saving the world one too many times it definitely was that you should not be wasting precious seconds.
“Aren’t you?” You asked, looking into his eyes, trying to figure out where he stood on all this.
“I’d wait for you decades, darling,” Five confessed, running his thumb across your bottom lip in a gentle manner.
He loved the feel of you, every square inch of your body- he couldn’t get enough of it. He would touch anywhere possible, he wanted to pepper kisses along every part of you, but he did mean every word he said. He did want to wait for you for as long as you needed until you were ready to be with him, truly.
“Promise?” You couldn’t help but wonder, as Five let go of your chin to put some fallen strands of hair behind your ears, “Would you actually wait for me?”
“It’s not even up for debate,” He nodded, getting up from the floor, straightening his three piece suit.
He offered you his hands, as he lifted you to your feet as well. You didn’t know exactly if your legs were numb because of how long you’d been sitting crisscrossed on the floor, or simply because the man before you made your knees weak with one smile, but you knew for certain that you never wanted this night to end.
Five cupped your cheeks in his hands, as you naturally rested your hands on his chest. You were so smitten by him, but in all fairness- how could you not be? He was doing everything right, giving you all the love he had and a bit more extra, while still being his true sassy self that you loved so much.
“Kiss me, please,” You whispered, looking into his beautiful eyes, feeling as you were slowly losing yourself into the moment.
Five smiled as he leaned in slowly to give your lips a light peck, as careful and attentive as possible. His long fingers found their way into your hair, as your own arms wrapped around his neck to pull him in closer. He took that as his cue to go in for a more passionate kiss, capturing your lips with his in just a matter of seconds, losing his whole being in that moment to wrap himself around your pinky finger.
Anything you wanted, he would go through the ends of the world to get it for you- and that was an understatement.
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artdcnaldson · 6 months ago
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need Olympics!au reader to be a little insane. a little bonkers. bouncing on arts cock and asking him to say things like he loves you and how you're the best hes ever had and that hes going to leave tashi, always when hes about to cum so he doesn't have time to think about it - just says whatever if it means you'll let him cum inside. not knowing you're taking it all to heart in your delusional little head. smiling when you nuzzle into his chest and play with his cum, pushing it back in your pussy, thinking about how art is loyal - he just needs a little push - and then he'll be yours, surely.
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Rating: E (18+)
Warnings: Toxic!Reader, infidelity, SMUT, Tashi catches strays but that’s only bc reader is respectfully insane <3
A/N: okay this was supposed to be a lot shorter but it ended up getting long so if anyone wants more of this AU lmk and I’ll keep going. Okayyyy thank you bye <3
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If he was really devoted to his marriage, he wouldn’t be fucking you. A loyal husband wouldn’t have been seeking out a younger woman, wouldn’t have been seeking out you.
You figured that Rio had been your shot— you’d fucked him, planted the seed of infidelity there. You had freed him— you gave him a back door to escape out of.
If nothing else, you gave yourself a fantasy to touch yourself to for the rest of your fucking life. That was something.
Two weeks after Rio, you saw a message from Art in your Instagram DMs. Somewhere safe, hidden from his wife’s prying eyes, you supposed. Even if she saw it, you didn’t really care. Maybe it’d start a fight, send him careening heartbroken into your bed, into your arms.
Can I see you again?
You opened it, left it on read for a couple of hours to make him sweat. When you responded, you played at regret. We shouldn’t see each other… you’re married.
Art was quick to respond. Please?
You smiled. It was just so easy that he had to have wanted out of the marriage. You were just the first one to throw him a rope.
Your home was modest compared to what he shared with his wife, but you figured being in your early twenties and being able to buy a home with cash was impressive on its own. He parked in your garage, had you pinned against the wall the second he crossed the threshold into your home.
Each kiss was hungry, desperate. Tongue licking into your mouth, moaning as he ground his already hard cock against your clothed cunt. I mean, Jesus, you were wearing tiny little shorts, a big Team USA tee shirt. When his hands slipped beneath it, you gasped and arched into his touch. No bra beneath it— nothing between his large hands and your tits.
Every nerve in your body was thrumming, begging for you to reach out and take. His lips never parted from yours as you led him deeper inside your house, kissing you hungrily, like he wouldn’t mind if you just stopped and let him fuck you on the floor.
Someday. You’d like to see him that desperate, that animalistic. But that wasn’t what you needed them, so you just pushed him down onto your couch. The hardwood dug against your knees as you settled between his thighs. He was so hard that you could see the imprint of him against his jeans— long and thick and mouthwatering.
You licked your lips, rubbed him through the thick fabric. He hissed at that first contact and looked down at you with half-lidded eyes.
He could hardly let himself look at you as you pulled his pants down, peeled them off and tossed them to the side. Wet, soft kisses peppered up his thighs as you brought yourself closer and closer to what you really wanted. You nudged his thighs apart, pulse thrumming at the sight of him laid out before you like a feast.
Your hand looked so small wrapped around him, pumping him slowly. His cock twitched in your grip as you spit onto it so each pass of your hand was slick and smooth. He swallowed hard, already panting.
His balls rested between his thighs— full and heavy, carrying loads you needed him to spill inside of your cunt. Your lips met the soft pink flesh and he fucking whined, a broken, needy sort of sound that made heat bloom in your stomach.
You peered up at him as you placed open mouthed kisses to his sack, continuing to pump his length in your hand. You took one of his balls into your mouth and laved it with your tongue, moaning around him. His fingers scratched against the leather of your couch, seeking some sort of grip to tether him, so you took one of his hands and moved it to your hair.
And, really, you could have spent all day between his legs with his balls in your mouth, feeling them pulse on your tongue as you sucked each between your lips. His balls felt so full, so heavy against your tongue. It made you wonder how often Tashi drained them for him— if she took care of him the way you would.
You kissed up his shaft, kitten-licked the head of his cock, sighing contentedly at the salty taste of precum. He moaned, bucking into your grip, towards the wet heat of your mouth.
The fingers he had tangled in your hair tightened as you took him into your mouth. You fought your gag reflex as you relaxed your throat, took him deeper until your nose pressed against the soft skin just above the base of his cock.
It was cute that he was hairless everywhere, all soft and smooth, but you wondered what he’d look like hairier. Maybe you could convince him to ease up on the grooming, just so you could see if you liked it. You moaned just thinking about that tiny bit of control over him as you ground down against your heel for friction.
His hand guided your movements as you began bobbing your head, almost reverent. Almost loving. You gave a contented hum as you looked up at him, meeting his gaze as you swallowed him down to the base again and again and again.
When you finally came up for air after god knows how long, your lips were slick with spit. His cock was shiny from how you drooled on it, messy with spit bubbles around the base. He rubbed his thumb along your jaw, holding your face in his hand.
“God, you’re something else,” He sighed, a pleased smile playing at his lips.
You tilted your head to the side, leaning into the warmth and comfort of his touch. Your eyes fluttered shut, a seraphic smile played at your lips. “Does your wife suck your cock as good as I do?” You asked, almost sweetly.
He took a shaky breath, and you could see the hesitation, the loyalty, the devotion in him fighting against what he really wanted. He wanted you— your perfect mouth, your tight pussy, your willingness to give him anything he wanted, anything Tashi wouldn’t let him have.
“Bend over the sofa,” he said suddenly. You didn’t argue— you accepted the redirection easily, because you knew what he was avoiding. He didn’t want to admit the truth. He tugged your shorts and panties around your ankles, exposing your wet, sticky cunt.
He manhandled you, rough and punishing, like he wanted to work out his guilt inside of your cunt. You were dripping down your thighs, onto the leather beneath your hips. Fuck it, you’d buy a new couch.
“Fuck me,” you gasped, reaching back to claw at his arm, to leave pretty nail marks, to stake your claim. He pushed your head down into the cushions, bullied his fat cock into you again and again and again.
His thumb circled your asshole like he wanted to test the waters. A soft moan escaped you, you pushed back against him as an invitation to keep going. He spat down onto your hole before he pressed his thumb inside, just past the tight ring of muscle. Your toes curled, your eyes rolled back— you were fucking game.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he groaned. His pace was punishing, brutal. From the angle you could’ve sworn you felt him punching at your fucking diaphragm, knocking out your breaths in weak, whiny pants. “You were fucking made to take this dick, huh?”
You couldn’t help but smile at his words. You were. You were you were you were. “Tell me—“ you cried out at a particularly deep thrust, eyes fluttering, rolling back. He continued to tease your ass with his thumb, pushing in, letting you feel full just to pull it out and leave you empty again. “Tell me I— oh, god— that I feel better than her.”
The couch scraped against the floor as he fucked into you, rough and relentless. His thumb pressed even deeper and you fucking keened. “Will that make you happy?” He repositioned your hips, made room to slide a hand beneath you and rub fast on your clit. “Even if I can’t mean it?”
Can’t, not don’t. You fucking sobbed at the sensation and nodded desperately as he played with your body like a toy. “So happy,” you practically babbled, panting onto the leather. Because he did mean it. You knew it, that he was there, bullying his cock into your right pussy instead of at home, for a reason. “Just tell me.”
A beat. Then another. He bent over you, so his chest pressed against your back, so he was crushing you beneath his weight. “You feel so much fucking better,” he said, practically panting in your ear as he fucked you. He was so deep that you felt whole, wished he would just stay there forever. “You’re tighter, and wetter— god— your pussy’s so, so, sweet, it’s fucking soaking me right now.”
You came when he said it, eyes rolling back, practically drooling onto the couch. Your cunt squeezed him, gushing as he bullied his cock inside your spasming walls. He made a weak noise in the back of his throat, like he knew you got off on him praising you and he fucking liked it.
“Are you gonna let me cum inside?” His voice sounded strained with thinly held restraint.
You nodded, whimpered weakly with the intense need for it. “Pleasepleasepleaseplease.” The words fell pathetically from your lips, over an over as he drilled into your sensitive cunt.
He came buried deep inside of you, so you felt the pulse of him, the flood of warmth. You whined as he pulled out and grabbed his clothes off the floor.
“You’re just leaving?” You asked with a frown, with big fat crocodile tears in your eyes as you stood up and pulled your clothes back up.
“Tashi thinks I’m visiting a friend from Stanford,” he said, looking at you with guilt plain on his face. For what he had done to you, or what he had done to her? You couldn’t even tell. It made annoyance sit hot in your stomach. “I can’t stay.”
“I thought…” you swallowed, played up your disappointment. “I thought you’d stay, maybe we could watch a movie, or order takeout. Did you… did you only come here to fuck me?”
He swallowed, looked at the floor. “I didn’t… it’s not that.” His gaze softened and he stepped closer, putting his hands on your shoulders. Touching you almost clinically until you blinked pretty, pathetic tears from your eyes. He pulled you into his arms, and you felt a thrill of victory.
His lips pressed against the crown of your head and you pulled back, peering up at him with glossy eyes. He sighed, let a soft smile spread across his lips. “Takeout sounds great.”
You smiled wide, stood on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his cheek. “Yeah? Okay, just get comfy and I’ll order something for us.”
Art looked right at home in your living room, flipping through your TV for something to watch. You rejoined him on the couch, curled up sweetly against his side. It felt so right; the two of you happy and content and freshly fucked.
You tangled your fingers with his, gave his hand a small squeeze. He smiled over at you, kissed your forehead sweetly.
“Will you kiss me?” You asked softly, meeting his gaze. “Please?”
He leaned in, pressed his lips to yours softly, tenderly. You smiled into the kiss, keeping it sweet and chaste before you pulled back and squeezed his hand.
Yeah, you got your takeout and a movie. It was the least he could do.
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@poppy-metal your mind is so amazing <3 I’m going to write the rest of this request also I prommy it’s just too good.
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ghoulphile · 8 months ago
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Coop would draw out that feeling of shame for being attracted to him so hard too, making you hold eye contact when he was on top of you OR BETTER YET; you not realizing the room you're in has a broken mirror until his tilts your head up to lock eyes with your own. "You just keep lookin there, darling. And I'll do the rest." Him stopping his hips if your eyes close for even second. "I believe we had a deal. Now you watch yourself get fucked, I want you to know who's making you sing like that."
Him pulling out and finishing on your thighs and not letting you cum bc you couldn't help but close your eyes and hes gotta punish you somehow 👀👀👀
okayyyy but jfc that's 🥵 you are SO right & you should say it
Like, him purposefully thrusting in hard and fast to make your lashes flutter, grinding close and hitting all those tender sweet spots that make your eyes roll into the back of your head because he wants you to fail.
wants to see how far he can push you and how long you can hold out while also knowing its impossible when he rocks juuuust right, drags the fat head of his cock along your g-spot until your hips buck and your thighs tremble.
holds you down and makes you take it while mocking you, gripping your jaw to keep your attention focused on the mirror above you, maybe shoves his fingers inside your mouth just to see you gag and drool.
"so fuckin' messy," he'd grunt. "see, now don' you look prettier than a picture? hanging off my cock, dumb 'n droolin'."
you'd beg and plead for him to stop, to slow down, to stop doing that because he knows you can't take it - it's too much! you can't be good and do what he says when he's fucking you like this; stuffing your mouth full while his cock thrusts so deep you feel him in your stomach, mean fingers pinching at your clit until you whine, pawing at his shoulders.
and every time you look away he does more than pause, he pulls out - slaps the heavy weight of his erection against your abused pussy until you throb, all swollen and needy. drags the head up and down your slit until you're crying, blurry eyes struggling to stay open and on your mirrored image.
when he fucks back in after teasing, it's nice and slow, making sure you feel every inch he feeds you until he's sheathed to the hilt, your walls rippling around his shaft, clamping down so hard he swears.
then the hard, fast pace starts again, your body jerking with every harsh thrust. over and over again (man has stamina) until you're cock drunk, mouth slack and mind hazy after hours of edging. and when you finally cum with a wet gush and shaking hands, he tsks and ruins your orgasm by pulling out before you're finished.
you'll whine, struggling to get your limbs to cooperate as you try to cling to him. he'll bat you away and wait til you refocus on him - the hard glint of his eyes and the cruel smirk tugging at his mouth. swallowing hard when he takes his cock in hand, glistening with your slick.
he'd jerk himself off while you watch before cumming with a grunt, shooting his spend all over your skin. then the real punishment begins... one ruined orgasm for every time you looked away, every time you shut your eyes. by the end of it you'd be a soaked, overstimulated mess - body wrung to its limits and nerves shot, knees weak and head full of cotton.
just.... i have a lot of thots 😭
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hearts4chriss · 9 months ago
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Slice of Pizza.
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Horny!Chris + Jake’s!little sister
prompt: your filming with ur brother Jake and the sturniolo triplets ur meeting for the first time, you and Chris had already been secretly talking behind their backs, he finally gets to meet you in person. After the videos over he offers to take you home and he can’t resist
Contains: public teasing, horny Chris, pet names (ma, mama, sweetheart??, baby, good girl, my girl, princess), m!oral receiving, unprotected sex ( wrap before u tap ), doggy , dirty talk, phat ass reader, creampie yktv
a/n- a lot of ppl wanted this one hope u like :)) ALL CREDS DUE TO ANYONE WHO INSPIRED ME ILYSM !! ( tags ran out )
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fuck fuck fuck fuck
Today was the day.
My brother Jake and I were collaborating with the sturniolo triplets, and I was so so nervous.
The main reason is that I was talking too one of them, Chris sturniolo.
We’d been talking for a little over a month and I was actually gonna meet him, but the thing is.
His brothers and my older brother Jake have no idea we’ve been talking.
let alone how much of a freak he is, as well as I am.
We’ve sent each other, images and texts and said things but I was going insane over meeting this man.
I had decided to reach out to one of my brothers friends and ex Tara fucking yummy.
my baby💞🫂
Tara help me, yk how I’ve been talking to Chris?
I’m fucking meeting him tdy bc Jake and I are collabing w the triplets.
taraa💋
baby you’ll be okayyyy
he wants you so bad trust
Chris is gonna beg to fuck you js wait 😛😛
My cheeks grew a pink hue just thinking of that, it was obviously Chris is very attractive and I’d love to have him fuck the absolute shit out of me.
so there I sat in my room wearing this outfit praying too impress him.
A white mini skirt and a fitted skims crop tank pushing my tits up even more highlighting my figure as I threw a grey zip up over it.
I walked downstairs being greeted with my brother.
Finally, took all day. Jake rolled his eyes and I stuck my tongue out
shut up come on I wanna meet these kids. I chuckle and he raised an eyebrow at me but didn't utter a word as we hoped in the car and began driving too the location.
We got there pretty quickly and I thankfully hadn't seen a text from chris today which calmed my nerves, but it was until I saw him standing outside of my car along with matt and nick.
I quickly got out the car.
holy- shit. was all I could utter under my breath at the 3 same faced men.
Matt had tattoos which i'd always loved and he was fairly attractive.
Nick also had tattoos and he was absolutely adorable I could see us becoming close.
Chris.
The one of three i'd been "sexting" and oh my fuck he was so attractive.
He had a small stubble but not too much, his pink plump lips i'd been dying too kiss and lord the all grey- I could see his dick outline was he not wearing boxers??
wow kid ur short. Chris chuckled reaching in too give me a hug
hey baby, I finally get too meet your fine ass. He whispered low enough in my ear so I could feel a wetness grow in my panties seeping from my cunt.
Hey chris! we wanna hug her too! Nick rolled his eyes pulling me in for a hug.
ur so pretty holy shit- nick said softly and i smiled giving him a thank you.
Why am I last? Matt rolled his eyes playfully and I gave him a tighter hug than the rest.
Alright, can I have my sister back? My older brother basically emerged from his tesla and they all gave me a smile and we piled into the car as we pulled out foods from, McDonalds, a pizza place, Wendy's and more.
I sat in the passenger seat and Chris in the driver whilst nick matt and jake were in the back and he started the intro
“Hey guys welcome back to another video, this time I’m actually In my car, I’m joined by…”
Y/n Webber, the better sibling. I give the camera a wave and Jake rolls his eyes at me
“And also this collab was highly requested so…”
“Nick, Matt and Chris are with us today the sturniolo triplets!” As we all clapped for a bit.
"So today we are gonna be eating a bunch of our favourite foods and just talking and yeah that’s it!" I smiled.
"McDonald’s first?" Chris asked and everyone nodded as we each grabbed fries.
The video was super funny, Chris kept making me and everyone else laugh as well as nick and Matt attacking him it made the whole thing better. Until…
"Alright last thing?" I asked and everyone nodded
I opened the pizza box letting everyone grab a piece, I watched how Chris’s almost slipped so I helped him.
"They weren’t wrong, you are the clumsiest one". I let out a soft laugh and he rolled his eyes
"Yeah yeah". Chris chuckled and I held up the pizza for him as he looked me in the eyes, god I felt something. As he shook his head slowly trying to get a bite he managed to do so after about 7 seconds.
"Is it good bro? "Matt asked him and I let out a laugh as well as nick and my brother
"Shut up Matt". Chris spoke in a monotone and everyone laughed at that as if he wasn’t just fucking teasing me, so I decided to get him back.
"Guys it’s kinda hot-" I say unzipping my jacket Chris’s eyes follow my hand on the zipper
"Right I was gonna say".. Nick chuckles eating his pizza.
I take off my hoodie leaving my tank top as is my tits sitting perfectly upright and I noticed Chris’s eyes and I smirked continuing to eat my pizza occasionally licking the grease off my fingers looking him in the eyes.
Paybacks a bitch huh
little did I know, Chris was a fucking freak
"what did you say too my brother to even allow me to be alone with you". I let out a laugh and he chuckled pulling me onto the couch.
"Im good with words baby. He gave me a small wink before pulling me onto his lap for a kiss".
"Mmm this was well worth the wait". Chris mumbles in between kisses before grabbing my ass making me gasp as he slipped his tongue into my mouth as they played together.
He moved me on his lap, groaning as my clit rubbed on his growing boner.
"Fuck- I need ur mouth so bad" - Chris rested his head on my shoulder before tapping my ass signaling me to get up.
I got on my knees and leaned up pulling down his sweatpants along with his boxers watching his cock spring out and my eyes grow wide.
The length of it wasn’t even describable, let alone the girth, the tip was a dark pink and the veins going up the side had my panties dripping.
"you gonna suck me off or keep staring because I love the sight baby". Chris smirked biting his lip down at me and I wrap my hand around him and he moaned softly.
"baby.. please I need you- been waiting so long for you to do this" - he pleaded, almost in a whiny voice of need for me and I’d been waiting to do this.
I kiss his tip first before spitting on his cock stroking him and he throws his head back on the couch cushion.
I wrap my lips around his cock hollowing my cheeks as I began to suck him off sloppily and his hand gravitated towards my hair.
"oh fuck- just like that" - he moaned softly his eyes fluttering shut his mouth slightly agape as his chest heaved as he felt my plump lips wrap around him beginning to deep throat his dick
"oh shit ma- feels so fuckin good" - he shudders on his words as his eyes open looking down at me sucking his cock, the sound of my gagging on him were enough to make him squirm, Chris’s large hand on my head guiding me while running it in my hair.
Sucking Chris off was an experience I’d never forget and the fact I was making him feel so good whilst doing it only made my thighs clench together with anticipation, needing his cock buried inside me.
his hips occasionally thrusting allowing his tip to hit the back of my throat aggressively knowing I’d be sore tomorrow.
"F-fuckk love that pretty mouth on my dick" - he shudders when my nose presses against his lower abdomen as I deep-throat him having to hollow my cheeks due to his size.
Chris always told me he loved sloppy head and that’s exactly what I was giving him, salvia and his pre cum was running down my chin whilst spit bubbles formed on the corners of my mouth and my mascara was sweating off from the tears in my eyes.
"God you look so fucking pretty sucking me off baby" - he praised, breaths in between each word pulling on my hair slightly tighter as we made eye contact and he moaned at the sight.
"there’s my girl, keep ur eyes on me, wanna see that pretty face- shit" - Chris tried to maintain eye contact with me as best he could, but the way I was looking at him alone made him cum deep in my mouth filling it to the brim and a deep moan as he came.
Chris’s cum smeared along my lips as I swallowed it and getting up off my knees and he smiled.
"C’mere, I gotta stretch you out". Chris’s fingers pressed against my panties and I moaned softly at the touch and he chuckled.
"Hold on baby, you’ll thank me later, trust me". He smirked sliding two of his fingers inside my sopping cunt making me squeal.
"Shit Chris" - I moaned as he held me by my waist on his lap stretching me out for a bit.
"hold on ma, I don’t want you to get hurt". He kissed my cheek curling his fingers making me moan in his ear.
"You feel stretched out?" He rubs my back and I nodded
"I need words princess". Chris spanked my ass and I jolted.
"Yes yes! I do, please Chris- please fuck me" - I beg and he halts his movements sliding his fingers out of me.
"On all 4s for me and strip". He taps my ass and I do so getting on the couch pealing my panties and skirt off along with my tank top allowing me to be bare for him.
"Your so beautiful, gonna fuck this pussy so good" - he pulled his sweats down fully positioning himself behind me rubbing his cock between my folds making me whimper with frustration and his hand came down smacking my ass.
"Patience baby, such a needy girl". Chris shakes his head before gripping my hips pushing himself inside me making my back arch at the girth and sudden sharp pain from the stretch.
"Chris I-it’s not gonna fit" - I cry out and he massages my hip reassuringly.
"shh it’s okay just tell me when, take ur time". He whispered, I took some deep breaths as I felt my body finally adjust to him.
"Y-you can move now" - I sigh deeply and he holds my hips beginning to thrust slowly at first.
"Oh fuck- m’faster" - I moan peering behind my shoulder and he gives me a sly smile before picking up the paste making my jaw hang open as his hips came in contact harshly with my ass.
"shit- ur so tight ma" - Chris groaned his hands grip my ass occasionally letting go to give it a slap rubbing over the soft skin.
"oh god- ur so deep Chris" - i drop my head breathing heavily before he grips my hair thrusting harder.
"huh? I wanna hear that again". He holds his grip firmly waiting for me to respond as I’m dazed out on his cock.
"f-fuck! Your so- deep" - I moan in between words shuddering in his grasp as he releases his grip from my hair gravitating towards my hips again.
"that’s a good girl" - Chris praised rutting his hips into mine, the sound of our bodies connecting and my moans and heavy breathing along with his filled the empty room creating a sex aroma
"shit Chriss" - I dragged out moaning as he arched my back making his cock reach depths I don’t think we’re possible before he paused.
"W-what are you doing?!" I whimper in frustration and he shushed me.
"I wanna watch you fuck yourself on my cock can you do that for me?" He whispers into my neck, tickling my skin, his raspy voice going to my core.
I positioned myself on my forearms arching my back beginning to move my hips back and forth on his dick and he moaned in response holding my hip for comfort.
"fuck- keep throwing that shit back on me ma" - Chris shuddered, biting his lip at the sight, my moans shooting to his throbbing cock as well as my moans fueling his ego and filling his ears
"fuckk yes- feels so good- I cried out". clenching my fists at the pleasure and the angle his dick was hitting, the tip feeling on my g spot made me shake each time.
Chris was in heaven, just the sight of this could've made him cum inside me.
"shit- there you go baby- love that ass" - he lets out a deep groan laying a smack across my cheeks making me squeal as he rubs over the soft skin as I continued fucking myself on his cock, picking up the pace, our breathing syncing picking up.
"oh shitt- yes yess!" I squirm and shake ever so slightly as his tip kisses my most sensitive spot.
"Looks like I found it". He mumbles to himself before grabbing my hips beginning to thrust his own into mine making my jaw hang open whilst only heavy breathing comes out
"shit- fucked you speechless?" He lets out a breathy moan and I can’t help but mimick his actions because he quite literally fucked me speechless.
"God you take me so well" - sound so pretty on my cock- he lays a harsh smack to my ass making me squeal out as I close my walls around him.
"Chris I-I’m gonna cum" - I turn my head to the side seeing his facial expression as my breath picks up fists clenched as his hand rubs my clit.
"come on baby give it to me" - he praises his fingers play with my pussy overstimulating it as I cried out Chris’s name repeatedly until I creamed his cock.
He pulls out painting white ropes on my back giving me a second to catch my breath.
"You okay?" Chris pants pulling me onto his lap.
"yeah I’m okay- that was- well worth it". I smile pushing the hair sticking to his forehead away.
All over a slice of pizza huh.
Shut up Chris. I roll my eyes as he presses kisses to my shoulder
@mattsleftnipple03  @bernardsleftbootycheek  @sturniolopowers @gdsvhtwa  @rac00ns-are-c00l4   @worldlxvlys  @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog  @mattslolita @guccifrog  @blahbel668 @mattsneezing  @trickywritters  @hearts4chris
@nonamegirlxsturniolo  @luvmxtt  @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt  @luv4kozume  @kikisturnioloo  @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly  @iiheartstef  @junnniiieee07 @vicsguitarr  @ast3ro1dzz  @sturniolowhore  @st7rnioioss  @emma4eva  @braindead4l  @ihearttsyouu  @kqyslyho3  @imaslut4kehlani @sturnsfav @sunsetsturniolos  @sturniololoverr  @gamermattsgf  @lilyloveschris   @dlyansworld  @chrisloyalgf  @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @ineedchriscock   @sturniol0s   @luhsexcbihh  @nicksmainbitch @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris @hysteria-things
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heavenlee773 · 5 months ago
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Fairly Odd Parents; A New Wish finale spoilers!!
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Okay so am I the only one who didn’t like the fact that Hazel’s friends now know about the fairies?
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Because like, how do you go on from that? Maybe it’s because I never really got attached to her friends the same way I did with Dev, but it’s just racking my mind over how the episodes in season two will go.
It kind of feels like them knowing about the fairies will only cause troublesome situations like “oh it’s fine! Hazel can just wish us out of this mess” or “Hazel can you wish this for us please?” Which will probably cause a lot of problems, and there’s no going back from that.
It could be because on every site I watched FOPANW for free, it’s missing “The Wellsington Hotellsington” episode which I’m pretty sure is the episode where Winn gets formally introduced, and the trio’s friendship cements. I’ll probably have to buy that episode since websites don’t want to add it for some reason…
But now Season 2 most likely will be focused more on the trio and their shenanigans, so I don’t knowww… I’m really biased though, I love Dev as a character and I love his and Hazel’s dynamic (before the whole taking over fairy world thing)☹️
I like Jasmine and Winn but I just don’t care for them, you know?
And onto Hazel’s brother Antony, he’s cool and all but why does he need to know about the fairies?
Like I know this makes it SO much easier for Hazel, and it’s basically a huge weight lifted off of her, but story wise?? Eughhh I don’t know😖
I mean, if they explore his and Deja’s relationshipppp hmmm okayyyy😋😋 But I just know how they’d segue way into that, and thinking about it makes me uncomfortableeee!!
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Basically what I’m saying is, I CAN’T WAIT FOR SEASON TWO AND I HOPE THERE IS MORE DEV CONTENT!!!
PLEASEE don’t have Dev just be a one off antagonist☹️☹️
The theory that Dev keeps his memories because of his shades (and also his similarities to some other rich kid that was in the original series of whom I forgot his name) is cool, but also awkwarddd— because what does he do with that information?? Like okay buddy, you remember. Now what? He never had the best relationship with Peri in the first place!! I’d prefer if maybe season one went on WITHOUT Irep interfering or at least appearing but not appearing again until the next season, because THEN Dev and Peri could’ve connected at least a little, and Dev could have more realizations about “maybe I don’t need my father’s approval” or something— then in season two when Dev goes on a spiral or something, let’s say his dad ticks him off;
Dev tries to have a heart to heart with his dad after Hazel and Peri push him to,
“I feel like you don’t care about me, and all I want is for you to be proud of me—“
And his dad is like,
“Come back to me when you do something I can be proud of.”
SO THEN he becomes bitter at Hazel and Peri for “making” him go do that, and turns to Irep to take over Fairy World.
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Eughhhh but this is a kid’s show after all, and they want to cater to their attention spans so a show that takes a while to fully flesh out their characters would probably go right over some kid’s heads (or not, they could probably become smarter.)
I still love the show, and fanfiction exists for this exact reason—
I guess that’s enough of my Ramb-Lee’s for now, if anyone wants to talk about FOPANW, I’m here😝.
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(Dev looks so CUTE in this scene🥺)
Peace!!
-🤍
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sports-on-sundays · 3 days ago
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this simple feeling / LN4 & OP81 / Part 3
Summary: Lando x female!Australian!McLaren marketing unit worker!reader x childhood best friend!Oscar - Two Formula 1 drivers who just so happen to race for McLaren also just so happen to have fallen for you. Link to part 1, link to part 2
Warnings: I think I might've messed up the timeline just alittle bit but that's okayyyy (probably should have all taken place like a week or two later but I only realized that after it was all written so I guess you'll just have to deal with it; I'm sincerely sorry), language, sickness, vertigo, let me know if there's more I missed
Requested?: To be honest, I don't think so, but let me know if I forgot about you.👍
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A handsome smile adorns Lando Norris's lips as he strolls down the Spanish paddock, and it's extraordinary to believe that despite his outside cover, he has the most pounding headache.
It's all my fucking fault, his mind roars as he catches the eye of Max Verstappen walking past and gives him a friendly wave. Y/n is a nervous wreck over the whole situation, and Oscar seems like he's going to blow if he sees me show Y/n affection one more time.
Why did I ever fucking start this stupid, stupid 'relationship?' It's a mess, and it's all my fault.
And I've got no way of fixing it.
Maybe I should have just given up Y/n in the first place, before all this happened.
Maybe I am wrong for getting in the way of her and Oscar.
But a part of him knows that's not right. He could never give you up. You could never give him up. And neither of you could ever give up on Oscar.
Even though it's starting to look like that might just be the best for him. Or at least, the best option at this point.
After I've gone and messed it all up.
For once in his life, sleep won't just take Oscar Piastri.
It sounds stupid, because he shouldn't be going to sleep. Not here. Not now. But as he lay in his driver's room, all he wishes is for sleep to take him away from his never-ending thoughts into a peaceful, sweet, dreamless slumber.
But every time he tries to replace his current ones with new ones, his brain always leads him back to the main point:
You messed up.
He sighs. He's just being over dramatic, isn't he? Isn't that all it is? Shouldn't he just get over himself?
It's not that he doesn't like Lando. In fact, he does. A... well, a lot. He could see himself having real affection towards him.
He might even want to.
But that longing, confused part in his brain keeps coming back to: But what if Y/n loves him more? Isn't he just getting in the way of what you always wanted?
Isn't this unfair, Oscar?
But that's just the worst part of it all.
It's not unfair. Not one bit.
For your whole life, Oscar has known you. For years, he's cared about you. He's even loved you. He just never said it. Always held back. When he shouldn't have.
If he had just acted way before, in the beginning, it would've been just you and him. That's the way it would have been, and Lando would have never gotten in the way.
But, Oscar's brain whispers, almost like a sneaking suspicion, do you really want Lando out of this, now that he's in it?
Maybe I just have to learn to accept it. Accept him. Trust them both.
Do I just need to get over myself?
Because I am the only reason why this isn't working...
Right?
No one else can feel it, but it's getting awkward. Not even so much in private. In private, Lando is honest, and Oscar tries. In private, you see. They're not all lovey dovey, but they care about each other. It's like all is well, though you and Lando both know how Oscar can get.
But in public, it's worse. Terribly worse. It's like Lando and Oscar want to have something, but they can't. It's like Lando wants it but Oscar won't let him... and, at the same time, as if Oscar wants it but Oscar also won't let himself.
Why not?
In public, since they have to fake, it's like it's hard not to. Because they're closer than friends, but not more than that.
In private, they're trying to fake, so it almost comes easier.
But in public, they almost avoid each other at the same time as being super friendly with each other when they do have to talk.
You hate it.
A huge part of you wonders: If Oscar likes Lando back, why doesn't he just relax and let this whole thing work? Doesn't he need it?
Doesn't he need Lando, just the same way I need him?
He certainly acts like it. Sometimes. The only solution you can think of, though a not very clear or perhaps not very accurate one, and one with certainly no answer, is this:
He wants you more than anything. But he needs Lando more than anything.
But because he wants you so bad, it hurts him to see Lando having you.
Though he has you, too.
But he can't let himself break out and let himself love Lando back, because his feelings towards you are so incredibly strong.
You sigh.
Oscar. Why can't you just give up? Give in? Why can't I show you just how much I adore you?
What do I have to do to show you?
Is there anything I can do that would be enough?
You sigh. What if you're all wrong? What if Oscar really can't love Lando back? What if this whole thing is bound to fail?
What if there's absolutely no solution?
As anxiety begins to fill your chest, you feel as though you're right back at square one again.
Why didn't I just choose, from the beginning? Wouldn't it have been better to break one of their hearts, than all three of our hearts?
Because isn't that what is going on right now?
We're all breaking.
And we wouldn't be if I hadn't ever, ever let it get this fair.
Damn it.
It really is all my fault.
Maybe it's all the stress, or maybe it's just the natural way of things, but either way, by the time a week later that the Austrian Grand Prix comes around, you are in no world feeling well enough to go to it.
Of course, that's fine. You're sick; no one will have a problem with you staying home to rest up and get better. There are plenty of other people who can take care of your usual responsibilities for one race weekend. That's not really a big deal at all.
Of course, Lando and Oscar sure treated the whole thing as one, both of them talking about how one of them should stay with you, and how are you going to get on by yourself, and they feel like such bad boyfriends for leaving you in your unwell state, and so on. Blah, blah, blah.
Really, it was the sweetest thing. You know you shouldn't complain. But you did end up telling the two they were both wrong, not to worry, go race, and it's quite easy to FaceTime and stay in touch so they can check up on you over the weekend.
So despite whatever your boyfriends think about it, that's the decision you made sure was made, because there was no way you'd let either of them do something so ridiculous as to miss a race because of you.
Especially not the Austrian Grand Prix, for God's sake.
Well, whether Lando and Oscar would admit it or not, both of them, in their own little ways, see this as an opportunity for connection with each other.
One-on-one.
So now, of course, Lando has been the sole thing, other than racing, that's been on Oscar's mind all weekend. So much so that he finds himself wandering towards Lando's driver's room after qualifying, his heart leading the way more so rather than his head.
When he reaches the door, he finds it ajar, and peeks in through the door frame, his heart pounding.
Why is his heart pounding?
He swallows, his eyes resting on Lando relaxing, scrolling his phone. He hasn't seen Oscar yet.
Lando. There's a lot I like about him.
Let's just try this. Just for now, forget about Y/n. Think about Lando. Think about all the reasons why you care about him. Think about it as if it were just you and him.
Would you want it to work?
He knows the answer, but wouldn't dare let himself consciously think it.
Oscar gently knocks on the door, as to avoid startling Lando, before saying softly, "Hey, Lando?"
The British man immediately looks up, his hazel eyes meeting Oscar's plain old brown ones. Though he doesn't smile, his eyes soften. And brighten. "Hey, Oscar." He sits up a bit, as to make more room on the sofa. "Wanna come in?"
Oscar nods, stepping inside. Gently closes the door behind himself. Somehow, Lando seems to understand.
He sits down. Closer to him. Turns and looks him right in the eyes. Opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it when he realizes he has nothing to say.
Lando talks instead. "How are you?"
"Fine... and you?"
"Good... I think the race should be promising."
Oscar nods in agreement. The silence feels so simply empty.
"You missing Y/n? Is that what it is?" Lando gently asks.
Oscar considers that for a few seconds, before slowly shaking his head 'no.' "Of course, I wouldn't mind her being here. But that's not it."
"What's 'it,' then?" Lando asks.
Somehow, he just knows, doesn't he?
Oscar's starting to see why you might love that about him so much.
"It's not Y/n I'm missing. I guess I'm missing you. And me. I'm missing us."
"Hm," Lando says simply, seeming to ponder that for a few seconds, before saying softly, almost as a dare, "How could you miss 'us,' if 'us' was never a thing?"
Oscar feels the sudden urge to reach out towards Lando. Put his hand on his, or fix that loose curl, or do something.
But he holds back. Like he's always done with you.
God damn it. Am I really doing it again?
What am I even doing?
"I guess..." Oscar murmurs after some hesitation, staring down towards the tiled floor, "I miss the 'us' that could be and should be but never has been."
Oscar feels Lando look up towards him, but continues staring at the floor.
"Look at me."
But Oscar doesn't dare.
That's when Lando gently moves his hand to grab Oscar's chin and force his head to look at him. Not in an overly gentle way, but not in a way that hurts.
Oscar sighs. Those eyes.
When did he start liking them so much?
"We can make that reality," Lando murmurs, in the same determined way he talks about sports, or strategies. "We can make it happen. You don't have to miss me, or Y/n, and we can make 'us' come true."
Oscar gulps. Nods, though he knows not why.
Maybe it's because I really do want it.
I do, don't I?
Us.
Lando reaches over and grabs Oscar's hand strongly. Wraps his hand around the other man's. "This simple feeling..." Lando whispers. "Don't you like it?"
Oscar swallows. "I don't know if I like it, but..."
Lando waits for him to finish, even after he's trailed off.
"...but I think I know that it's exactly what... what I need."
Lando sighs. A little smile even begins to sneak up on his lips, just gently. Softly. Hardly there.
That's when he leans in and pulls him into a hug. And embrace. And it's refuge that Oscar finds there, in his arms. The same kind of irreplaceable refuge he finds in your arms. He sighs, wrapping his arms back around Lando, feeling the warmth of his body around him like a blanket.
"This simple feeling," Oscar murmurs this time, mirroring Lando's words, swallowing, his voice cracking softly, though tears don't threaten to fall.
It's just a little raw.
"This simple feeling... it's exactly what I want. What I need. From both of you.
"It's like I'd be content if we let this last forever," Oscar finishes softly with, close to Lando's ear.
"We can make it last forever," Lando utters back.
And all time stops in that little room as the two men embrace. A cavern of honesty and truth.
A safe place that promises to hold them forever.
It's funny how someone's cares and concerns can be washed away so quickly.
Like, for example, Oscar's podium at the Austrian Grand Prix in 2024, seeing his team grin up at him, spraying the champagne with George and Carlos, the joy of getting second place.
Partially, also, the joy of being the one to score points for the team.
But once that's all done and he's talking and doing all that PR, it starts nagging at him. You're not here, which means Lando's all alone.
Probably fucking pissed off.
P20.
So it's a mix. He got 2nd! But Lando got 20th.
So he tries to get through all the PR gobbly-gook as fast as possible, while still putting on a good face, since he knows you'll particularly care a lot if he screws up all his interviews the one race you weren't able to make it.
As soon as he's set free from his duties, though, he rushes to Lando's driver's room. On the way, someone even grabs his arm, saying, "Oscar! Oscar! An autograph? Please?" but he brushes them off, saying, "If you stay around, I'll be back to give it to you!" before just running off again.
He honestly can't grasp why he's so particularly and intensely desperate to see Lando.
It's because he did something for me last night when I needed him. Now I can't just leave him when he needs me most.
Soon, he reaches the latched closed door and knocks hard, saying, "Lando? Are you in there?"
There's a few moments of silence, and for a moment Oscar's nerves tell him that Lando isn't even here, and that he ignored that fan for no reason at all, until those thoughts are interrupted with Lando responding with a heavy sigh in his voice, "Osc? You can come in."
Oscar sighs with a certain amount of relief before gently opening the door and letting it shut behind him.
Lando is standing, not facing Oscar, on his phone, texting. Head down.
"How're you-"
"Texting Y/n."
Oscar nods, slowly walking up behind him. He gently rests a hand on Lando's shoulder, and says softer, "What's she saying?"
"Everything she has to in order to try and make me feel less like shit."
"Is it working?"
Lando turns, looking over his shoulder back at Oscar with a wry smile, saying, "Not at all. Max is a fucking-"
"Cheater, aggressive driver, idiot, bad sportsman. I know that's everything you're going to say. You just need to blow off some steam, hm?"
Lando snorts, shutting off his phone, hanging his head. "I've had an hour and a half to do that since the race."
"It takes a while," Oscar says simply, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
Lando sighs, nodding. "I know... I guess I'm not even really that mad anymore. Just disappointed. And frustrated."
Oscar nods, glancing away, beginning to slip his hand off Lando's shoulder.
But Lando reaches back, slipping his hand over Oscar's to keep it there, dragging his other hand over his face with a heavy sigh
It's then that Oscar suddenly feels compelled to do something he never thought he would.
Yet he gives in, simply because it feels like exactly the right thing to do in the moment. So he wraps both arms around Lando from behind, pulling him towards himself, letting his nose and lips press against his neck, next to Lando's ear.
Lando sighs in something like contentment.
And Oscar feels himself smiling softly, before it quickly fades off, and he whispers gently in Lando's neck, "You're a good driver. You would've won that race. But I also know that means you'll be able to win the next one, hm?"
Lando nods, sighing. "You're right. I know you're right."
Oscar nods, murmuring, "But you have every right to be upset. And I'll be with you during that working through it as long as you want me to be."
Lando feels an unexpected smile begin to creep up on his face as he mutters, "I want you here with me every single moment you want to be here, Oscar."
"Yeah? It's funny how I've started to like to be with you more."
"I guess that's just my natural charm, hm?" Lando says softly, his smile growing.
Oscar can almost not believe how he naturally chuckles at that and responds softly, "I don't know about that..."
Lando is full on grinning now. That handsome, big, sunny smile of his. "Just ask Y/n about it. She'll tell you all about my charm."
"Hah," Oscar says sarcastically, but for some reason, instead of coldness, like that comment might used to have filled his chest with, he feels an undeniable, affectionate warmth fill his body.
A feeling that he seems to like a lot more.
He just re-wraps his arms around Lando and responds softly, "I'm sure Y/n would tell you all about my charm, too, Lando."
Lando smirks, glancing back at Oscar, meeting the Australian's milk chocolate eyes. "But you don't have to ask Y/n to hear about how charming you are, Oscar. I could talk about that all night." Lando's honestly not sure where all this bravery on his part is coming from, but he's honestly glad for it. Since it seems to be going down well.
Oscar's eyebrows raise as his light complexion becomes slightly flushed. "Hm. You could?"
"Oh yeah," Lando laughs a bit. A beautiful sound. Then the two remain in that peaceful silence, before Oscar lets his hands slip away from Lando gently.
Lando turns, taking the younger man's hand in his, looking earnestly into his eyes. "Hey. Congratulations on your P2, by the way. I was so caught up in my own shit, I completely forgot about your-"
"Don't worry," Oscar says, waving it off. "I don't mind. But thank you, anyway."
Lando grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek and saying simply, "No, thank you, Oscar. Look at the way you've managed to cheer me up like that, huh?"
Oscar smiles at that, his eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, perhaps in something like peace, or trust, for him to murmur, "Not sure how that happened..."
"Guess it's just that charm of yours we previously discussed, huh?"
And Oscar's eyes flutter open just in time to see Lando peck his lips.
And with Oscar's face fire hydrant red and Lando laughs filling the small room, I'll leave it up to the reader to go and imagine what could've happened next.
Oscar and Lando get out of the car, Lando holding some flowers and Oscar a grocery bag of goodies.
"You ready?" Lando says with a little smile, nodding to Oscar.
"Can't wait to see her, despite the poor state she must be in," Oscar says with a nod, and is about to start walking, when he suddenly stops and, with only a moment of hesitation beforehand, holds his hand out to Lando to take.
Lando looks at the hand, before looking up at Oscar again, taking his hand, with a little grin. He gives him a nod, before the two head off towards the house, hand-in-hand.
You're awakened in your feverish state by the ringing of the doorbell. You know you should get up and at least look to see who it is, but at the same time, who could it be? You're not expecting anyone. So you opt for the easier decision to just assume it's something unimportant like the mailman or something and leave it, letting yourself drift back into your feverish half-sleep.
But just as you're about to fully drift back off into slumber, it rings again. You sigh and stand up with an ornery groan, dragging your shaky legs to the window, to peek out of it, to see what on earth is so important.
But you stop as soon as you see them.
Your boys.
Lando holding flowers.
And what's more, they're holding each other's hands.
And they both look completely comfortable with it.
Really? Even Oscar?
He's not that good of an actor!
Soft smiles adorn both their handsome, perfect faces, shining like a charming prince and a shining knight.
Your foggy brain doesn't take the time to consider which is the prince and which is the knight, and you instead rush to the door right away, unlocking it and exclaiming, "Lan! Osc!" You stumble a bit dizzily as your weakened legs threaten to give out, but Lando's arm is there to steady you right away, keeping you from falling.
"Hey, Y/n," Oscar says gently, putting his arm on yours as Lando plants a quick kiss on your forehead, asking, "You okay?"
You sigh, nodding, and saying after the wave of vertigo subsides, "Just still a bit sick."
"No kidding. My God. Let's get you back inside and in your bed," Lando says gently, letting you use his arm to steady yourself as the three of you head inside and to your bedroom.
Once you're there and crawling back into bed, Lando hands Oscar the flowers and says, reaching in the shopping bag, "Got you some chicken noodle soup, Y/n. Want me to make you some?"
"Oh, God," you murmur, sinking back down against the pillow, "Yes, Lando, that'd be great."
He nods and leaves, going off to do that, leaving you with Oscar.
The first thing Oscar does is say, taking the blanket from the bottom of the bed, "Want this on?"
You nod, sniffing up your stuffed up nose. He gently tucks you in, kisses your forehead right where Lando kissed it, and grabs a tissue for you, seemingly out of thin air.
If you weren't a bit feverish, maybe you would of just known he got it out of the shopping bag. But you kind of missed that detail.
"We got you flowers," Oscar says gently, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to you.
You smile softly, leaning up to smell the bouquet, saying weakly, "Aw... that's so lovely... You guys didn't have to."
He smiles softly. "We wanted to treat you. To show you how much we missed you this weekend." He brushes a strand of hair from your forehead, before frowning and murmuring, "You're really warm. Hey, I'll be right back, m'kay?"
You're not sure how long it takes, but in a bit, Oscar comes back to place a cool cloth on your forehead, and puts the flowers, now in a vase, next to you, on your nightstand.
"They're so pretty," you murmur softly, gratefulness to you warm in your voice.
Oscar smiles. "Pretty flowers for a pretty girl."
You smile softly, reaching to take his hand. "I like you like this."
"Like what?" his eyebrows raise.
"All soft. I like that."
He smiles. "Just taking care of you." He leans down and kisses your cheek, saying, "Can I get you anything? A drink? Water, tea?"
"Oh... I think I'm good. But thank you," you weakly smile.
He nods. "Are you comfortable? Do you want a fan, or another blanket, or anything?"
You shrug. "I dunno... Maybe a fan would be nice. There's a big one in the closet. Jus' put it on low."
He nods and immediately heads to do that. Once he's done, he goes straight to the windows, saying, "And the blinds? Are they good the way they are, or should I-"
"Oscar, Oscar," you say softly, giving a lazy wave of your hand. "None of that matter. Not really. I don't really care. Why don't you just stop worrying and running around and taking care of me and doing everything for just a moment and just come and be with me, huh? That's what I want for you to do the most. Just come be with me. Let's just talk, hm?"
Oscar blinks. "Oh. Of course." He nods, making his way across the room. As he settles down on the bed next to you, he says simply, "Sorry."
"Don't worry. I like it. You just need to give yourself a break, too. And I want to talk with you, Osc." You slip your hand in his.
He nods, and after a few seconds murmurs, "Maybe that's just what I want, too."
"See?" you smile softly up at him.
You sit together in silence for a bit, him gently rubbing your hand in his, before you finally think to ask, "So... How... How are things with you and Lando?"
"You noticed a change, didn't you, huh?"
"For the better. Unless I'm imagining. Or you suddenly became an amazing actor in one week."
He smiles, nodding. "Lando, he... I think we worked it out. I worked it out."
"Worked what out?"
"That I love you, and I might just love Lando, and that in order to love one, I've got to love the other."
You stare. "You... You and Lando?"
Oscar nods. "We talked. I think I can make this work now. Let this work. We can let this work."
You smile. "Hm. Really?" you look at him with fluttery eyes.
He shrugs, smiling softly. "I can't just care about myself. That's not what a relationship is about. Nor can I just care about you. Nor can I just care about Lando. It needs to be selfless, you know? We need to be there for each other."
You grin and murmur, "For some reason, Osc, I really wanna kiss you right now, but I'm sick. It's like you've just said what I've been dreaming for you to say for weeks now. Probably months."
He smiles, nodding. "I guess it was bound to happen. I just had some things to work through. And even though I don't even know how, and don't think he does, either, Lando helped me work through them, partially, too... Oh, and by the way, with the kiss thing?" he smiles, leaning down a bit closer, before murmuring, "I'm sure you won't get me sick. You're probably way past being contagious." And with that, he closes his eyes and leans in to kiss you gently.
It's then that Lando walks in and says with that cheeky smile of his, "Hey, lovebirds, can I get in on this? When's it my turn?"
You pull away from Oscar and tease, "Oh, get back in the kitchen!"
"Jeez! I guess I'll just eat your soup, then, if you're going to be like that!"
"Wait! No!" you say, reaching your arms out for the tray in his arms.
He chuckles, placing it in your lap, and says, slipping on the bed next to you, on the opposite as Oscar, "Did you really think I would eat your food?"
"You might..."
He grins. "I might."
"Hey!" you giggle, rolling your eyes.
Lando lays down next to you as Oscar says, "My goodness, Y/n, you're so peppy as soon as Lando enters the room. You were acting so sick before, just a few minutes ago!"
You grin, looking him over with a shrug, "I guess I liked the way you were treating me so softly and delicately. I didn't want you to stop feeling like you had to take care of me. Now, come on. You lay down next to me, too, won't you?"
Oscar smiles and does so, murmuring, "I guess I can't say no, huh?"
You smile, contented, shutting your eyes as you feel the warmth from both of them, on each of your sides, envelop you. "I guess not."
As you eat your soup, your boys snuggle up to you, their arms wrapping around you, and the three of you talk. Mostly about Austria, and then about he upcoming British Grand Prix in less than a week now, which you're sure you'll be healed up enough for, especially since getting there doesn't require any planes or airports. Sometimes, that can be the worst part of travelling to Grand Prixs far away.
Soon, though, you finish your soup, and sink back down into the pillows, letting the tiredness seize your body once more. As you begin to drift off, the last thing you whisper is, "I love you guys..."
On each side, you feel each of their lips gently kiss your cheeks, but you don't stay awake long enough to hear how they respond to that.
Here you are, with your two McLaren boys.
Sure, there'll be rough spots. Lots of them. Something like this doesn't promise to be easy.
But sometimes, the harder path is the better one in the end.
And right now, in this simple moment, it feels perfectly worth it.
Well, maybe perfectly imperfect.
But would you really want it any other way?
This simple feeling...
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ambermeh · 5 months ago
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Their 21st birthday:
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A little treat because it’s my favourite comfort peoples birthday :)
Matt:
⋆ If he is drinking he is not doing a lot but mainly would be sipping beer or cocktails and trying to be a bit careful
⋆ Would be a giggly drunk hands down, this man would be laughing at anything that he would think is the most boring thing ever sober
⋆ His cute little comments about how he is so lucky to have such a cute girlfriend and how he is actually so grateful
⋆ Would 100% let a secret out that he was kinda hiding from you, like something he find attractive about you that’s a little bit odd or just a fantasy
⋆ ‘so I’m not supposed to say but when you have that other lipstick that you keep for the girls night out, I love it like I just imagine you wrapped around-‘ ‘okayyyy Matt you can stop we are near people’
⋆ Will need cuddles the next morning and won’t let you go and pulls the my head hurts card
Nick:
⋆ Is completely getting fucked
⋆ Honestly is a loud (but emotional) drink for sure, like I can imagine him not wanting to leave you while he is dancing etc he just wants to be close to you because he wants to share the moment with you
⋆ He will make you dance with him and will be kissing you and getting more touchy when he is drunk
⋆ The day after he will refuse to believe he was being a it emotional by the end of the night and will think you’re gaslighting him, but this is because he basically passed out on his bed and had to sleep for 12 hours straight
⋆ But he will just love that the both of you let loose and just enjoyed the night with all your friends and have all the memories in his camera (he was taking non stop photos the whole time so he could use it in the vlog as well)
Chris:
⋆ Again I feel like he is getting black out but not as much as Nick because he wants to remember the night
⋆ A flirty drunk for sure, this man is talking to you every second to see how much of a reaction he can get off of you with words
⋆ Is dancing for his life and making you join as well because why else would he have a party?
⋆ Becomes this non stop talking socialite with everyone and will want to speak to everyone, even if he doesn’t know them that well
⋆ ‘come on just let me take you home ma, I need you. Look at you, I want to be inside you, not with a bunch of stupid drunk people, you would look so pretty bent over in this’
⋆ obviously the two of you went home early
(Thanks @enchanthings for the divider)
Taglist: @soontosturniolo @blahbel668 @mulitfandomslvt
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nyxi-pixie · 3 months ago
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okayyyy ive been meaning to talk about this moment forever because i think the way i see it differs from a lot of general fandom opinion.
for context, this is from the dhc section of the dead apple manga. skk are talking about an executive who just died and dazai makes a joke about it, prompting chuuya to deck him in the face and say nobody could believe dazais human. (believe, very importantly. not that he Isnt, just that its unbelievable).
humanity is a key theme to all of bsd, but its Very explicitly central to the skk dynamic. chuuya is an intensely human character in the way that he acts and thinks, and yet! between his ability and ofc the history in the lab, it still gets called into question.
(its pretty solid that our chuuyas the real one, but thats not the point here. sb being an exploration of what it means to be human and whether Actually Being One is all that important to what you are and do, through a Distinctly human character- Thats the point. How you are being more important than what you are.)
then we have dazai on the other hand, where what he is doesnt come into question at all. Even his ability, despite its name, isnt dehumanising to an outside eye, compared to chuuyas corruption or atsushis tiger for example that can take away from their control of themselves. its the how he is, in contrast to chuuya, that comes into question with dazai. he very consistently holds himself outside of humanity both implicitly (through self isolation - shipping container being an extreme example) and explicitly (dead apple dazai talking about humanity as an Outside Observer. he is Not including himself as one of them).
When we are encouraged to doubt his humanity, its dazai Telling us to. he deliberately poses himself as inhuman because he FEELS it. and the dhc moment to me has always felt like chuuya seeing through it and calling his bullshit. Dazais making light of a death to be a dick, to push chuuyas buttons, but also because hes got this constant need to present the worst possible version of himself.
actually if you look at the panels of him when hes talking about the guy being dead, just before he gets dramatic ridiculous exaggerated dazai about it, he doesnt seem to think of it so lightly
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(smthn smthn dazai imposter syndrome. the need to deny any of his more human qualities because he feels they dont Fit him. and the links w his questions to atsushi at the beginning and end, his bs 'do i really seem like the type of guy to do x thing'.)
chuuya says hes acting inhuman, that his humanity isnt something people will believe because of the way he ACTS. and then chuuya does an example of his own Chuuya Humanity Act, an act of service for the people he cares about in the form of going to solve the situation himself. AND. ultimately, dazai ends up planning around this later to lead chuuya straight to him so the two of them can deal with it together.
skk pretty consistently ground eo to humanity. dazai through nullification/corruption, but outside of their abilities too (its the thought of dazai - more specifically, not thinking like him - that stops chuuya from killing N in stormbringer and denying verlaines assertion that he shouldnt have been born). and on the flipside, chuuya is part of the reason dazai doesnt khs during or after fifteen. dazais protecting people thing really starts out with chuuya. and again, chuuya makes it his business to call dazai on his shit. (even right the way back in chapter 31 of the main manga, we have that interaction over Q, with dazai saying he spared them only for self serving logical reasons, and chuuya saying he doesnt buy it).
this to me has always felt like part of that. its not 'youre not human', its 'the way you act makes it unbelievable that you are'. its an invitation to prove he is by doing something Real, something worth more than sleeping there til he dies.
and dazai does.
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thesecretwriter · 1 year ago
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how each moon boy would react to an argument with you – part 2. 
summary: what the title says!
warning: fluff – like I said in part 1!
word count:
a/n: okayyyy, i saw the impact of part 1, i’m sorry for the angst! so here is some fluff to make it all better
minors/ageless blogs dni.
Masterlists
part 1
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Steven Grant:
It was a sleepless night for him without you.
He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling aimlessly as he though back to the argument.
You were right, he shouldn’t be going to his ex-wife about issues in a private relationship.
He looked over to his nightstand and saw that his alarm clock read 2:35am.
He groaned in frustration and got out of bed to get dressed.
He had to make things right, tonight.
The corner store on your street was thankfully opened and he went into the store with the determination to get your favourite snacks.
The store had flowers, which he of course bought and in the corner of his eye he saw something shiny and knew he had to get it too.
You awoke from your sleep groggily when you heard constant knocking at your front door.
Upon opening it, you saw Steven standing there with his hands full and his hands full.
“What’re you doing here?” you ask feeling the emotions from hours ago resurfacing.
“Uh… well I came to apologize,” he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
With a roll of your eyes, you stepped aside to let him in.
He walked in with a small smile, behind him were helium balloons which said, ‘happy birthday’ and ‘congratulations’.
You couldn’t help the small smile that made its way to your lips, but you maintained a neutral expression and locked the front door to join him in your living room.
His posture was tense as you watched him leave the contents in his hands on the nearby table. He still held the flowers in his hands as he walked to you.
“I’m sorry for everything I said and previously did. You’re absolutely right in being upset,” he said and looked at you with sincere eyes.
You knew he meant the apology, but his words and actions still tugged at your heart.
“Steven… “ you said tiredly, “I don’t know if I can-“
“No, please don’t say that,” he knew the words that were waiting to be said.
He couldn’t bare to hear them.
“I hurt you, and I shouldn’t have an I know asking you to stay with me is a lot. I just… for the first time in my life I have something I’m genuinely happy with,” he said with that all too familiar smile.
You understood his reasoning, but you needed him to understand yours as well.
“Communication in this relationship isn’t the strongest, and we need to work on that,” you said to him.
He heaved a sigh of relief.
“Tell me what I can do, and I’ll do it,”
“Layla… “ you said her name softly.
“She’s gone, I-I realised that it was extremely wrong of me to talk about you to her. I feel as though I had an obligation to compensate for the sadness I brought her previously, but i cant do it at the expense of you. it also not my place to do so,” he said truthfully.
You listened to him intently.
“Doing all of that made me blind to the fact that I was hurting you. I’m sorry, darling, so so sorry,” he made his way to you and grasped your hand with his free one whilst the other held the flowers.
“I can’t say that it’s okay, but I hope you don’t repeat this,” you said looking at him with unshed tears.
“Of course, I would never hurt you like this again,” he said honestly.
“You better not,” you say sternly but with a hint of humour.
With that being said, Steven held you close to him and didn’t want to ever let go.
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Marc Spector:
He waited a few days, watching you from afar to make sure you were okay.
You were functioning well and doing things you’d usually do, but Marc could see through the front you were putting for everyone to see.
Pushing you away seemed like the best thing to do at the time, but having you away was like living without the sun in his dark world.
He needed you.
Which is why he found himself sitting in your apartment and waiting for you to come home. He’d entered your apartment by using his spare key.
It had since been 2 hours since you were supposed to be home.
Marc knew your schedule by heart.
He was about to go out and look for you when he heard the keys being put into your front door along with your muffled voice.
“Thanks for the chat, I really needed it,” you bid goodbye to whoever was outside and locked the door behind you.
Your apartment was still dark as you move around to leave your daily belongings in their respective places.
Upon turning the lights on, you saw Marc’s figure out of the corner in your eyes sitting on the couch.
You turned to him with a frown.
“If you’re here for your things, they’re in that box on the kitchen counter,” you said in a monotone, wanting to speech through the process of this one last meeting.
Marc wordlessly awoke from where he was and walked to you, the entire time he maintained eye contact with you.
He stopped walking till he was right in front of you, a hairs width away.
“What makes you think I came here for my things?” he asked in a hushed tone.
“What else would you be here for?” you said to him challengingly.
He smirked and looked to the side before looking back at you.
“You think I’d let you go that easily?” he said with a raised brow.
“You did that night,” you scoffed and folded your hands, causing him to step back.
He nodded with a clenched jaw.
“You know I didn’t mean anything I said,” he stated with sincerity.
“Sure you didn’t,” you breathed a sigh and walked away from him to the box on the counter.
He followed behind and trapped you between him and the counter before you could reach for the box and hand it to him.
“You wasted no time in gathering my things,” he said with a humourless chuckle.
“Hmm, I wouldn’t want you to deal with me any longer,” you used his words from that night.
“Y/n… “ he said trying to make you understand.
“No Marc, I can’t keep playing this game of push and pull,” you admitted, sounding tired.
“I’m not playing games,” he said offended.
You turn to face him, his body still trapping you between him and the counter.
You raised a brow at him.
“Okay. I admit, I’ve made mistakes and I’m sorry for that. Very sorry. But you’re the one thing that grounds me. I know what I said that night was out of line,” he finally apologizes.
You look at his expression intently. You can tell that he means his words.
“I need more than an apology from you,” you stated.
“Name what you want and I’ll do it,”
“I want you to be careful and take care of yourself. I know in that mind of yours you don’t care about your wellbeing, but if you care for me then you’ll take care of yourself,” you move your gaze to your hands as you talk to him.
“Of course I care about you, and if that is what you want, consider it done,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and brought you in for a hug.
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Jake Lockley:
“Mi corazón…”
“Go away Jake,” you said as you exited the grocery store.
He had been trying to make you speak with him for the passed week and all you’ve been doing is ignoring him.
Serves him right for what he did.
What you didn’t understand was why he was trying to talk to you.
“Just one moment, please,” he said sounding exhausted.
“Go bother one of your many girlfriends,” you said bitterly.
“You’re the only one,” he grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards you and hindered you from walking away.
“Jake,” you say in a warning tone.
He looks up and down the street before pulling you down an alley way. You try to protest, but he puts a hand over your mouth.
“You will listen to me,” he snapped.
You nodded tiredly and his hold on you loosened but it remained there.
“I was on Khonshu’s orders to get important information the night you came into the bar,” he said with annoyance.
Even though Jake had been the most easy to work with when it came to Khonshu, he maintained hostility when it came to you and Khonshu.
He knew you wouldn’t like Khonshu’s request, but he had to comply since it was part of the deal.
“That woman who was with me is the daughter to a man who is an avatar,” he explained further, hoping you would understand.
You studied his stoic expression. He was being truthful.
“Why didn’t you tell me before doing it?” you asked feeling hurt that he didn’t seem to trust you.
“It was too dangerous to tell you and I needed you to be safe, mi luz,”
“Well, look at the outcome of you not telling me,” you said with sadness.
Jake looked at you with equal sad eyes. The week spent without you was torture, he had an argument with Khonshu and wanted nothing more than to seek comfort from you.
“I know, mi corazón. I’m so sorry,” he said and pulled hugged you tightly.
It was rare to see Jake be so affectionate, but you know your time apart had affected him. It did the same to you.
You melted into the hug and wrapped your arms around him.
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tagging those that commented on part 1:
@milkypompon @hellomynameisells @brighterthanlonelywords @the-witheredroses @secretdazeobservation @stressed-cherry
417 notes · View notes
fatuismooches · 1 year ago
Text
fabulam diu oblitus - postlude.
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synopsis: The tale of the raven and the sparrow has long been forgotten by most, but some will always remember.
includes: dottore w/ gn! reader
notes: This is the fourth part of this fic, please read the other parts first! It seems that the fairy tale of you and Dottore comes to an end. Follows some of Sumeru's storyline. Warning for death. Angst. Thank you to my mootie @kaixserzz and my all of my dear anons (🎐, 🐓 <3) who kept me inspired to keep writing this fic :3
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prelude. first interlude. second interlude. postlude. sequel.
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“The raven and butterfly’s happiness continued for much longer. But of course, every creature is aware that nothing lasts forever, and even the lightning in the sky would agree with that statement. All fairytales must come to an end. That was no different for the raven and the butterfly.”
There had been a buzz around the lab lately. Some of the segments had been ordered to leave for a Fatui mission. Which, would have been a normal occurrence, were it not for the place they were headed to this time.
“Sumeru? You’re going to Sumeru?” Your home country had instantly gotten your attention, not only because you haven’t been back in centuries, but also because the segments were never usually dispatched there, instead causing their usual chaos in other nations.
“Indeed. We will see if the Balladeer is able to become the God he so desires to be,” Omega hummed, moving a hand underneath your shirt to record your heartbeat. Ah, that was right. The puppet had stolen the Electro Gnosis to use as his ascension into godhood… and Dottore would be there to see how his experiment plays out. Well, you already had a feeling about how that would turn out. 
Moving on to a different subject, although Sumeru was the home you and Zandik were chased out of, you still held fond memories of it. Many happy things happened there for you, so the thought of it made you smile.
“You have to bring back lots of stories for me! And souvenirs! Oh, I would love to see how much Sumeru has changed from all those years ago,” you dreamily smiled. Yeah, your favorite cafe was probably gone by now… but you’d love to see what replaced it!
“Of course. I expect there will be much to say with the God of Wisdom and the Traveler intervening as well,” Omega chuckled, scribbling down something on his clipboard after glancing at the monitor, before fixing your shirt back.
“Your vitals have been better lately,” the segment commented and patted your head, which you happily indulged in. It wasn’t too noticeable, but it seemed like your body was getting even a little bit better. Not much, a little. But that was good anyway. “But run along now. There is much preparation to be done regarding the trip to Sumeru.”
“Okayyyy,” you stretched your words a bit disappointedly, not wanting to leave the segment, but you knew he had a lot of work to do. So instead you settled with pecking him on the cheek which he of course returned tenfold before you went off on your way. You had quite a few segments to say goodbye to, after all! You’d miss them a lot, but, you still had the other segments here with you. And your lover of course.
Surely, they would be back in the blink of an eye. Yes, surely, they’d return just as they always did. You had no reason to think otherwise. And so for the next few days, everything was normal. Time passed regularly. You got through the days as you did with any other.
But one day was different.
You were in your room by yourself, enjoying your alone time. Because as much as you loved being around the segments, you still liked being by yourself too. But all of a sudden, your tranquility was interrupted by literally a bang on your door, which made you jump.
The knock on your door was frantic and loud. Immediately you hopped out of bed to see what could possibly be so important that your door was getting pounded, but when you opened the door there was no one there. You were very confused… how was that possible? This was a pretty long hallway. Even with the segments’ abilities, there was no way they could just disappear into thin air like that. 
A bad feeling began to creep up on you, your stomach twisting and turning. You don’t know why, but it just did. But surely you were overreacting. Perhaps… perhaps… actually, you didn’t have any valid reasoning you could think of right now. Maybe though, maybe you should go and check on them. Just in case. You know that they’ll be there, in the lab doing their experiments or perhaps bickering with each other as usual, but there was nothing wrong with double-checking. And then you’ll calm yourself with a nice hug from one of them. It would all be okay. 
But you found that your steps were quicker and longer than usual, your breathing heavier than usual. As you got closer to the main lab’s doors, you strained your ears for their voices, anything, something, but heard nothing. You licked and bit your lip that had gone dry, weak legs walking even faster if that was possible, before you swung open the doors, hoping to see those blue mops of hair you so desired to see.
Nothing. The room was empty.
Your footsteps slowed, walking into the room cautiously. It was strange because it looked as if there were people in here just a few minutes ago. Notes that were left unfinished halfway. Beakers that had broken on the floor, with some mysterious liquids soaking the floor. Strange, very strange. And yet no trace of any segments remained.
The bad feeling had grown into something much worse now. Where else? Where else could they be? 
Their rooms. You should check their rooms. They were usually there if they weren’t in the lab, doing their own respective work (because their office and rooms doubled as one since they didn’t need to sleep.) So despite how your chest burned, and your legs ached, it didn’t matter if it meant your heart would be soothed and relieved.
You ran as fast as you could, more like you tried to because your illness had really kicked in since your mind was stressing out a great amount. As you clung to the walls, catching your breath, you paid no mind to the random agents who were looking at you funny, nor did you manage to catch their words of “Omega” or “erased” or “gone.”
It took longer than it should have taken you, but at last, you made it to the corridor with the segments’ rooms. You didn’t bother to knock, swinging open the door to Alpha’s room.
Empty.
Beta’s room.
Empty.
Every single room was empty. Fuck, even Zandy’s room was empty. And he was always in there if he wasn’t with you. Your head was throbbing with unease now, your heavy, troubled breathing sounding throughout the whole hallway. Where? Where? Where did they go…?!
“[Name].” A voice sounded from behind you. Spinning around, it was Dottore. Your Dottore! Okay, at least he was still here!
“Dottore,” you breathed a sigh of relief. He would have an explanation for this. “Dottore, where are all the segments? I-I can’t find them anywhere. I mean, I know the lab is really big, but it’s strange for them not to be in these areas,” you placed a hand on your rapidly beating heart, trying to calm it, not noticing your husband’s expression.
“...” The scientist was unsure of how to break the news to you because he knew of the bond you shared with the segments.
“Dottore? Why aren’t you answering me?” He opened his mouth to respond, but paused, seemingly trying to determine the best way to phrase his words. That only worried you more, because he was never one to sugarcoat his words. Your nervousness had returned once more, burning heat from fear creeping up your shoulders. “Zandik, answer me.”
“They’re gone, [Name].” The words took a few moments to settle in, silence overtaking the area for a little bit. But only for a little bit, as your nervous laughter rang out interrupting it.
“Gone?” You repeated. “What do you mean gone? They just can’t be gone. Right? Right, Dottore?” The nervous smile that had etched its way onto your face hurt badly, the laughter mixed with wheezing was painful, but it was all you could do to convince yourself this was a lie.
“Omega has… deleted them in exchange for the Electro Gnosis.” You looked at him blankly, the former emotion on your face gone.
“Deleted? Deleted from this world? From existence?” Your tone got higher and higher as you continued speaking. You didn’t even know Omega had the ability to do that. Or that the segments could be erased in the first place. Dottore just nodded in response. 
“But- but why? Surely t-there was another way?” Your voice was on the verge of breaking into tears.
“He wanted to show respect to the God of-”
“Respect? To a God, of all people?” You hissed, bubbles of anger surfacing now through your agony. “He’s a Harbinger, is he not? And he’s stronger than that God! He- he could have easily found another way! He didn’t have to DELETE the segments! Another method HAD to have been possible! Did he even try to negotiate?!” Hot tears ran down your cheeks as you raised your voice at him. It took everything it had in you not to fully scream. You began to pace back and forth, hand covering your already tear-streaked face, whole body shaking. Your husband could only watch.
Dottore wasn’t thrilled with Omega deleting all his segments either, with the endless resources that went into creating them, but what’s done was done. And both the Electro and Dendro Gnoses were acquired. But you? You were on the verge of hysterics. He had never, not once, seen you like this. 
You had come to a stop, head buried into your arm as you braced against the wall. Oh, the segments were gone forever. They were never coming back. You could only imagine how they must have been in their last moments. That they only had a few more moments to live. You couldn’t bring yourself to think about what Zandy must have thought in his last few seconds.
And what’s more, the segments had disappeared into… nothingness. There was no trace, no remains of their bodies whatsoever. And although seeing their bodies on the floor would have certainly destroyed you, perhaps this was even a worse fate. Because it was as if they never existed at all. You couldn’t even hold their bodies one last time, or give them a proper farewell. They were just… gone. Oh, how you wished you could have at least been there in their last moments, to provide some comfort, some love, some sense of peace. The more you thought about it, the countless memories with them flowing through your mind, the weaker your violently shaking body became as you struggled to hold yourself up. Dottore instantly noticed and, worrying about your frail condition, walked up to you before you spat out at him.
“Do not come near me.” Out of all the centuries Zandik has spent with you, he has never been on the receiving end of much anger from you. Rather, it was you who dealt with that from him. But this wasn’t just anger. It felt like venom.
“Why…” You pulled yourself up once again before glaring at him with teary eyes. “Why didn’t you stop him, Zandik? You could have, couldn’t you? They didn’t have to die…!”
There was only one answer the Harbinger could provide, even though he knew you would not like it. “It was necessary to obtain the Electro and Dendro Gnoses for the Fatui.” To this, you could only laugh again once more before digging your nails into your palms so hard it hurt.
“I see. I see…” You mumbled brokenly before stepping off to the side, your steps still unsteady and wobbly as you nearly tripped. Dottore once again tensed up, body wanting to move to support you, but the look on your face made him decide against it. You then walked past him, not sparing another look at him before exiting the corridor, tears still silently running down your face. He could only watch you as you left him standing, wondering about many things yet nothing at all.
“From that day, there was a drastic shift in the butterfly and raven’s relationship. The butterfly was indescribably hurt by the loss of the other ravens, and could not bear the pain. It was the first time the raven had ever been subjected to such cold treatment by his lover. Usually, it was the other way around. And it seemed like fixing this would not be easy.”
Dottore thought that if he gave you some space, you’d cool off soon enough.
He thought wrong.
You had flat-out been ignoring Dottore since the day the segments were erased. And not just refusing to talk to him. You didn’t even want to be in the same space as him. If he came into your room, you would just leave. As soon as he opened his mouth, you were gone. In order to give you your meds, he had to wait until you were sleeping to slip in, because of the way you were acting. When it was time to eat, he had to leave the meal outside your door, otherwise, you wouldn’t eat. That is if you even took it. The grief made it hard for you to do a lot of things, which made it imperative for him to help, but you didn’t want it. You were distraught, but you were angry too. Why? 
Because you truly loved the segments.
Dottore did not. He did not feel the same connection as you did. So he was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do to resolve this. Apologize? No, he suspected even if he did, it wouldn’t mean anything, because you’d know he didn’t fully mean it, and it wouldn’t bring the segments back anyway. Comfort you? You wouldn’t allow him to hold you or talk to you. Il Dottore did not know what should be done.
Omega received similar treatment when finally returned from Sumeru, the Gnoses in hand. Normally, you would be waiting at the entrance whenever he returned from expeditions. This time, however, you were not, which he supposed he should have expected. You didn’t want his stories. His gifts. No, all you needed to know was that he deleted the segments. They were gone because of him, and you didn’t want to see him right now.
Omega was not a human. He was a segment. Though, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t feel emotions. He did - when it came to you. But Omega was a selfish segment. Selfish when it came to a lot of things, you included. And selfishness and emotions do not bode very well, as it becomes… a convoluted mixture.
The segment thinks of himself as a patient man. He knows how to wait, and wait, and wait until it pays off. He can do that for you, too. Wait for you to come back to your senses. After all, they were just segments, right? And the superior one, the best one of them all was still here - him. So surely you won’t be like this for too long.
Just like his creator, he was proven wrong. He learned the depth of your anger a day he tried reaching out to you, wanting to put this whole situation behind. But you certainly didn’t share the same sentiment. It was like any other day, him talking to you and you walking away, but this time he reached out for you. The segment unconsciously longed for your touch, your affection, that was once so commonplace.
But as soon as you felt his fingers brush yours, you slapped Omega’s hand away with a scowl. You didn’t need to say anything. That one action spoke everything you wanted to.
You would never view him the same ever again.
“And so the butterfly found themselves drowning and suffocating in grief. Their whole life had been changed, the creatures who helped them through so much were now gone. But that would not be the last of the butterfly’s sorrow.”
You had been giving the cold shoulder to Zandik and Omega for a long time. Considering how clingy and affectionate you were before, they didn’t even know you had it in you. But now, it was as different as night and day. However, it wasn’t as much as it was before, because you still had to rely on them in order to live. Despite how much you didn’t want to, without them, you’d be dead. They were the ones who had to administer your medicine and give you check-ups so your condition wouldn’t get worse (although it already happened after the segments were deleted.) It was funny how easily progress could be reversed. How one thing, one random day, could change everything.
So eventually you had to let them in a bit. Most of the time you just ignored them and rarely spoke. Even during the checkups and shots, you had your head turned the other way the whole time. They would still attempt to talk to you, in hopes you would even grace them with a “yes” or “no” rather than the rare nod of your head. But it wasn’t very fruitful. 
Another habit of yours now was that if you weren’t in your room, you were most likely in a segment’s room crying. Especially Zandy’s. Clutching his plushies. Or maybe Alpha’s. Trying to fix up the parts he left lying on his desk. Or Beta’s. Going into his closet to wear his coat. Dottore knew better than to clean out their rooms because you would most likely snap at him again.
You didn’t have much energy to do anything else but lay in your room, blankly staring at the ceiling all day, your head a foggy, grief-filled mess. It did not feel good… you hated the feeling… but what else should you do…? You just wished you could feel the warmth of your segments… the seemingly annoyed but secretly delighted posture of Alpha as you held him from behind. The bitey nature of Beta that didn’t let you go once you were in his clutches. The small, clingy body of Zandy as he cuddled into your body, sweet dreams blessing him instead of the nightmares. But you could only dream about those things now.
Even the regular Fatui agents had noticed this development. The lovey-dovey nature of Il Dottore’s spouse was now reduced to this. You heard them speak about it.
“Have you noticed? Lord Dottore has been far more irritable lately.”
“Oh yeah, both Omega and Prime! I feel bad for those who have to work directly with them…. At least my job is just standing at this door all day.”
“I know. They always were terrifying, but it seems even worse now. Ugh, and now there’s even more work for us since all the segments are gone.”
“Do you know why? Has Lord Pantalone decreased his budget again?”
“Yeah, it’s kind of obvious…” The agent lowered his voice to a whisper. “His spouse, [Name], has been giving them the silent treatment for ages now. Don’t tell anyone this but, I believe that our great Harbinger, Lord Il Dottore… is feeling the effects of this. I’ve never seen them act like this!”
“Is that so? Speaking of, I don’t think I’ve seen them around here very much.”
“Well yes… if you were here for as long as I have been, you’d normally see them all over the lab but, they tend to stay locked up in their room nowadays. And Lord Dottore as well, he doesn’t leave his office much either. Omega seems to take care of much of the outward responsibilities.”
So that was what it was like. You got your answer to if Dottore missed you. You wondered how many people accidentally became his test subjects due to his rising temper because of you. But though it may not have looked like it, not speaking to your husband was hurting you tremendously as well. Because at the end of the day… he was your love, your life. He was your Zandik, the one who meant everything to you. The one who went through everything and anything with you. He was the only one you had… you still loved him, terribly so. Maybe that was a bigger weakness than your illness.
But that didn’t mean you were any less mad at him.
Omega, on the other hand… ah, you didn’t even know what to think anymore… you were so conflicted, it was so hard to even think… when you said you loved all the segments, that included him too. But he deleted all of them… you hated him… but did you love him too? No, you should continue to hate him, he was the selfish one… Zandy was gone because of him… you couldn’t forgive him! So you didn’t forgive him. The days continued the same as always. 
Until one fateful day.
Omega was set to head out on a mission. Which was quite unusual nowadays, because ever since the clones were deleted, he couldn’t afford to leave Snezhnaya with all the work that had to be done. All you had heard was that the blonde-haired traveler would be there too, from all the whispering around the lab.
But what did it matter to you? Whether the segment was here or not, it was the same to you. His whereabouts were surely not of concern to you, so you had no feelings on this. Though the night before he was set to leave, he knocked on your door anyway. You immediately pulled the blankets over your face and curled to the side of the bed so you wouldn’t see Omega. The door shut with a click and his boots sounded against the floor.
“Hello, [Name]. I’m sure you’ve heard by now that I am leaving soon. It is another critical mission for the Fatui, and I suspect the Traveler will be there once again.” He didn’t receive a response from you, which he expected. “But I’m sure this is of no interest to you, anyway.” He guessed right, you thought, you didn’t care. However, even after saying what he had to say, he did not leave. A silence overtook the room as neither of you moved or spoke. But then Omega called your name, with another short silence coming after it before he spoke once more.
“I will not ask for your forgiveness, because I know I will not receive it, nor will I apologize, because I believe I took the right course of action. But…” Omega paused, “I still hold you fondly. I still…” He reached his hand out to your covered body but drew it back before his fingertips could brush you.
“I hope we will be able to talk more once I return.” He seemed to wait a few more seconds, perhaps hoping you would stay something, hoping he could at least see your face before he left, but to no avail. All you heard was the retreating footsteps and the click of your door shutting once more. You pulled the blankets off so you could breathe properly again, as you thought about his words.
What should you do? You didn’t know. The segments had passed quite a while ago, and the pain was still fresh in your heart, but Omega… ugh… perhaps, maybe, just maybe, you could try talking to him once more. Only an attempt. If you didn’t like how it felt, you’d stop. And he wasn’t returning from the mission for a few months, so you had ample time to make your decision anyway.
But Omega never returned.
The next few months flew by quickly, and though Omega had not returned yet, you thought nothing of it. Something must have come up that delayed his return. It’s happened before, it probably happened again. That was until you noticed groups of Fatui huddled together murmuring in the lab. As soon as they saw you, they went back to work and shut up their little gossip quickly, which was very strange. Now you really needed to know what was going on, so you decided to silently eavesdrop on the next pair you found. But you would have never thought of the words you heard next.
Omega had been killed by the Traveler. 
Omega was dead.
Omega wasn’t coming back.
You would never see him ever again. The realization made your body weak as you stumbled back, having to cling to the wall for support. He was gone… the tears immediately sprang to your eyes, as you covered your mouth to keep your sobs down. Omega killed the other segments. Maybe a part of you should feel glad. But no, all you felt was red-hot grief and pain, as you crashed into the nearest random room, and cried, and cried, and cried.
If you knew that was the last time you would see him, you wouldn’t have acted like that…
You wonder why things had to turn out like this.
“The butterfly never truly recovered from their loss, but as they say, time heals all wounds.”
After Omega died, you didn’t have the energy to be mad anymore. You were just tired. Tired of everything. Everything felt like a chore. Though you saw your husband more often now. Since there were no more segments, and Dottore obviously wouldn’t trust even the best Fatui doctors with you, he was the one who did all the usual medical stuff for you now.
Admittedly, his touch felt nice. It felt good. It felt like exactly what you needed right now. Comfort. So you gave in. When he had finished the usual procedure, as he turned his back on you, you reached out and wouldn’t let go of his hand. Dottore stiffened from the contact - it had been a while since you’d touched him so intimately - but you didn’t let go, and only weakly tugged him closer, which he complied to. You couldn’t bring your eyes to meet his, instead blankly staring at his shoes, but he seemed to get the message anyway. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around you to gauge your reaction, and when he saw no resistance, he pulled you into his chest and held you. You missed this feeling. You missed Zandik.
And maybe you were scared he would leave you too.
Things continued like that for a while. You’d seek your husband out for his touch. His presence. His voice. Anything that would bring you some peace. Though you still remained mostly silent during these times. You just didn’t know what to say. Sometimes you wondered if he was mad at you. Annoyed. Disappointed. You didn’t want to know though. You were content with the fact that Zandik would hold you in his lap even at the wildest hours of the night.
But now, it had been some time since Omega’s death and even longer since the other segments were erased.
You weren’t quite ready to move on, no, not yet, but it was inevitable. Or perhaps you would never truly move on, instead, they would always be a part of you. You’d always carry them with you. But regardless, you needed to try, at least for Zandy. You think he’d want you to try and smile more often. You were speaking a bit more to your Harbinger friends again, and finding some enjoyment in your hobbies. Not to mention your relationship with Zandik was becoming better again. He had still been there, even when your illness and grief had you at your worst, with no complaints. Even though he had nothing to gain from this relationship. Even though you had become someone different. He had always loved you.
But there was still a rift caused by everything that had happened, that you wanted to fix. Because at the end of the day, in this world, you two only had each other. So you decided to talk to him about it. You had a habit of this, just waltzing into his office without knocking, and came upon Dottore who had a small box in his hand, appearing to gaze at whatever was in it, before he quickly snapped it shut at your sudden arrival. You recognized that box. It was the one where he kept his wedding ring in. So he still had it like that after all these years. You pretended like you didn’t see it as he swiftly put it away.
“[Name].”
“Zandik. Are you busy right now?”
“No.” Both of you knew that was a lie. The Second Harbinger was always busy. You knew for a fact he was stretched thin, especially since he wasted so much time taking care of you along with his Fatui duties, which piled up quickly with no more segments.
“Alright… can we talk?”
“Of course.” Zandik had been especially attentive to your words lately. Perhaps because he missed the times you would talk his ear off.
“I want to make something clear.” Zandik looked at you curiously as you took a deep breath. Many possibilities raced through his head.
“I still love you, Zandik.”
Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting that, and you could tell, even though his expression did not betray his thoughts.
“You already know the reason I’m…” Your voice trailed off, not wanting to say the words aloud, but you continued. “But I… appreciate you for staying by me. For all these centuries, through everything. It’s been a… very long time. And although things are different now, I want us to be… happy again. It might not be immediately but… it’s because I love you, Zandik.” You swallowed, at the end, your voice growing a bit softer. Ah, you hoped that wasn’t too sentimental. Zandik’s expression was blank so you couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“So yeah, that’s all… I guess.” All of a sudden, the silence that followed made you embarrassed, and you wanted to leave there as quickly as possible. “Okay, I-I’ll let you do your work now.” And then you hastily made your exit and left the Harbinger alone, before he started chuckling to himself. He’d expect nothing less from you, his dear, darling spouse.
Though he wonders if you realize time is irrelevant for him. He’ll wait for you as long as it takes.
“One thing about the raven and the butterfly that would never change was that they were wholly intertwined with each other. Their fates were one. So even if they happened to go their separate ways, they would inevitably return to one another again.”
It was actually quite scary how fast time flew. From the time you woke up, to marrying Dottore, to the segments passing, to right now… it felt like a blur. You guess, now that your life span was no longer that of a regular human’s, time was starting to skew a bit for you. Well, you were just excited to spend decades more, even centuries with him.
Throughout all the years that had passed since that day, you found yourself falling more and more in love with Zandik again. You suppose that should be normal for a married couple but, it never ceased to amaze you how one man could make you feel like this.
Something that had become somewhat of a habit for the two of you was dancing. Yes, dancing. It had come up during one of your wedding anniversaries. To be honest, neither of you really did or planned anything special for the day. Perhaps there was a bit more kissing along with other affectionate activities, but you two didn’t look at it as something that big. First, because you didn’t want to waste his already precious time, but also because you knew from the beginning the wedding anniversaries would be countless. So every anniversary was more of something you expected, so it was nothing too big to celebrate, especially as people who lived this long… if that made sense. And Dottore… was Dottore after all. Never one to care much for dates.
But on one anniversary you were reminded of how you two danced during the wedding. Your clumsy steps as Dottore guided you through it all, and you wanted to relive that, so he indulged you. And funnily enough, you were a lot better! Your steps weren’t as unsteady and your body didn’t ache as much. Dottore’s feet didn’t get assaulted by yours too much. Even Dottore was pleasantly surprised. It probably had to do with the fact that although you weren’t cured yet, your health had been up on an upward curve. Of course, never the best but, much better than you first were. You were proud of yourself for making it this far.
So now, when you had time, you found yourself rehearsing your steps with him and your husband twirling you around. Perhaps one day you could reach his level.
You found that there were days that reminded you of the Akademiya. Where you could help him with his notes and research like a real assistant would. Obviously, it still wasn’t the best but it was something, and you could see that Dottore liked it. These days often came with you teasing him with embarrassing memories from the Akademiya.
“I still remember when you got motion sickness from piloting that ruin golem, Zandik.”
“For the last time, I did not get motion sickness, [Name].”
“Mhm, sure. If I didn’t drag you out, you would have-”
“That is enough from you.”
You found that there were more days he would take you out into the Snezhnayan winters (you were bundled up to the max) so you could finally see the snow. You found yourself attending your first balls at the Tsaritsa’s palace, as Dottore was now forced to attend himself rather than his segments. He didn’t want to leave you by yourself in the dreary lab so… you were often his plus one, where you spent the evening poking fun at him with Columbina. (You also were the one who publicly took sweets to-go from the parties for him so he wouldn’t get judged.)
And perhaps your favorite memory was when he took you back to Sumeru - yes, to another country - so you could witness the Akademiya Extravaganza festival. He, of course, had no interest in it, but you being you and loving fun things absolutely did. Many things happened, including meeting the Traveler… but that story was for another day.
All in all, you always knew this but, you found that no matter how many years passed, no matter what Il Dottore has done, no matter the amount of sins and wrongfulness he has committed… you were hopelessly in love with him. From the time he was that perpetually irritated but in love student from the Akademiya to his current self, the Harbinger that was a stark contrast to his former self but still possessed you for himself.
Sure, it was a bit lonely at times compared to before, but all the tender moments throughout the years made you happy to have Zandik in your life. Which is why you foolishly thought these times would last forever.
When Dottore told you he was leaving Snezhnaya, and therefore the lab, and therefore you, it jolted you right up from your sleepy daze on his lap.
“What?!” The word came out as a half yell, half-whisper. “What do you mean you’re leaving Snezhnaya?”
“It means I’m leaving Snezhnaya, dear,” he continued on his paperwork (which never seemed to end) as if this was common knowledge. “The mission needs a Harbinger to oversee it, and the task falls to me this time.” 
You were devastated. There were times when Dottore only had to leave the lab for a few days to attend to matters in different parts of Snezhnaya. (You spent the time at Columbina’s mansion because oddly enough, she always seemed to be there… how did she manage to shirk her duties so often?) But this was completely different. He would be so far out of reach, for a long time probably too. Foreign missions always took a while. You remember how long you had to wait for the segments to return from them.
“Okay, then I’ll come with you!”
“No, you’re not,” he immediately shut down your proposition. “Missions are still far too dangerous with your current state. You will stay in Snezhnaya, and wait for me to come back.” You knew when he used that tone, things were final, and you hung your head low, all sleepiness gone at the fact you wouldn’t be seeing him for months. Sure, you would be staying with Bina as usual but, you had a feeling it’d be hard to replace the rush of emotions Dottore gave you on a daily basis. 
Dottore noticed your dour expression, which he obviously expected, and sighed, setting down his pen. At this point, it was a sort of routine that he had memorized, comforting you and all. Although comfort would never be something he was adept in, years of doing it had let him become somewhat proficient. 
“[Name],” he moved his hand to guide your chin up so you could look at him. You were pouting. “These few months, or even less, depending on how quickly the work gets done, will only be a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. I’ll be back before you know it,” he hummed. Although he certainly was not pleased about leaving you by yourself for so long, such was the life of a Fatui Harbinger. It was at times like these he missed his segments. (Did that sound selfish? Well, he was a selfish man when it came to you.)
A drop in eternity, huh? Well, when he puts it like that, then maybe it would be just a bit bearable. And, when you think about it, he’s waited over four hundred years for you, all alone. So this little challenge couldn’t be too hard, right?
“Alright… I’ll wait for you, Zandik.”
“Good,” he chuckled at how easy it was to win you over sometimes and stroked your cheek. “In the meantime, you can work on the recipe you’ve been vehemently hiding from me and show me when I’m back.” You immediately brightened at that.
“Oh yeah! I promise you’re going to like these sweets better than the ones at the bakery!” You proudly declared.
“Oh? Now that’s a high standard you’ve set yourself to, dear. Are you sure you’re going to be able to live up to it?”
“Hmph, don’t underestimate me. My baking skills have improved over the years!”
The banter always made you two feel like regular humans, despite what you two really were.
“The days went by peacefully for the lonely butterfly, but soon that feeling was shattered when they learned of a golden comet’s presence near their raven.”
The days in Columbina’s mansion went by rather uneventfully. Surprisingly enough, she wasn’t home as often as usual. It seemed like the Fatui were really stepping up their business now. You’d have to ask Dottore about that. Maybe the day Celestia is defeated was closer than you thought. But today was a day Bina had some time to indulge in cakes and conversation with you. The chit-chat was mundane but brought a sense of comfort until the conversation somehow ended up with Dottore as the topic. Your friend always liked teasing you about him. Everything was lighthearted and sweet until she idly mentioned his mission.
“I wonder how your Doctor is doing on the mission~”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s Dottore after all.”
“Mhm, that’s right. I do wonder how he plans to deal with the Traveler though.” The mention of the blonde’s name nearly made you drop your teacup.
“W-What?” Your voice cracked as you implored your friend to tell you more. You were now realizing that you neglected to ask Dottore what the mission exactly was, and he did not reveal the contents as well, probably because he knew you’d freak even more if you knew he was most likely going to confront the Traveler. Columbina looked confused.
“Dear, did he not tell you?”
“No! I- ah, he only told me he has a mission in another nation, I guess it slipped my mind to ask him the details!” You now had your hand clutched to your head and another one trying to soothe your now rapidly beating heart. A naive and very stupid part of you thought it wouldn’t have to come to this, but it already did, so quickly too. 
Why were you so particularly scared? It was because all you could think of was Omega’s death by the Traveler’s hand, as well as your fellow colleagues. You knew that Dottore was far stronger than any of them but… you were in a panic. All the worst possible scenarios began invading your mind relentlessly.
“[Name], calm down. Dottore is strong. We do not even know if it will end in a battle or not, but regardless of the outcome, he is smart enough to-” Bina attempted to comfort you before you interrupted her and abruptly stood up.
“I need to go.”
“Go? Go to Dottore, dear?”
“Yes. Yes, I need to see him. I need-” Your words were becoming a jumbled mess from the anxiety this piece of news caused. “I need to see him in person if he’s okay.”
“You do not think you should think about this some more? I suspect the Doctor will not be happy if he sees you there, even if it’s you of all people.”
“It doesn’t matter. If I stay here, all I’ll be able to think about is him.” You could already see yourself losing sleep and appetite over this. “But as long as I can see him okay… even if he’s angry, I can deal with it. Anything is better than being over here helpless!” Columbina watched you silently.
“Alright. Be ready in a few days.” You looked at her in surprise.
“Bina? You’re helping me? You’re not going to… stop me?”
“Dear [Name], I will not get in the way of a decision you’ve made for yourself. If this is what you’ve decided, then it is my duty as your friend to assist you as I’ve done in the past. And perhaps this will teach the Doctor a lesson to stop withholding information from you,” the Harbinger sighed.
“…Thank you, Columbina.” You’d have to repay her sometime later.
“The raven and the butterfly found themselves reunited again at long last, and would stay together like that forever.”
It was funny you found yourself back here, your home country. It seems like you two were always drawn back here, despite no longer being welcomed. But that didn’t really matter too much, because as soon as the boat you were on pulled into the port, it was clear that today was not a normal day in Sumeru City.
You were too late. 
The fight had clearly already begun, probably only recently too, by the chaotic state of Sumeru. Obviously, it’d be out of order if there were two immensely powerful beings in battle with each other. Maybe, if you were just a bit sooner… but you already had your mind set. Although the Fatui agent entrusted with your safety was ready to head back already, his orders to not let you come to any danger, you just tranquilized him. (It was a courtesy device from Dottore in case he wasn’t near.)
And you ran. Was that a good idea considering your illness? Absolutely not, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Was it a good idea to walk into the middle of a battle? Also no, but you couldn’t shake the bad feeling you had this whole time. 
Although it was far away, it was easy to spot the place, as for one there were Fatui swarming the area and also regular citizens running in the opposite direction. Though your lungs were absolutely burning, your knees weak and scraped from tripping, tired from bumping into others, illness flaring up even worse from the added stress and exertion, you continued ahead with only one goal. To see your husband.
Throughout your haggard walking, you thought of the future. You thought of how great it would be to see Teyvat change in the next four hundred years just as he did. And this time, Dottore would not have to witness it by himself. He would have you. It would be amazing, just thinking of all the variety of new inventions and such that would be created! You two would surely dissect them and put them back together for fun. You two would do a lot of things, you think, as you finally made it to the door of the grand building the fight was in. It was already rather damaged, but the door managed to remain mostly intact, so you pushed it open.
Just in time to see the Traveler land the final fatal hit to Zandik, his body landing on the floor with a painful thud.
Your worst nightmare had become reality. But… Zandik told you he’d return to you in no time…
Suddenly, all the will you had before was gone in an instant. You didn’t have the energy or focus to call out his name. All you could do was blankly stare at his defeated body while taking some hesitant steps forward, all while mumbling something incoherent under your breath. The Traveler, despite their exhaustion, noticed you and immediately readied their sword again. But, they soon realized that there was no need for that from the exceedingly dull look in your eyes and the way you tripped over yourself again, landing on the floor, reaching out your hand towards the Doctor. You had to make it to him.
You pathetically dragged your body closer to Zandik, every part of it screaming out in part for you to stop. But you didn’t care. You could take it. After all, you knew the pain would soon be over. The Traveler merely watched you, still a bit on edge for what you could do, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about anything besides Zandik, so you continued inching your body to your husband before you finally reached him. His body was practically motionless, his face revealed as his mask was destroyed to the side somewhere. When you came into view, a flicker of surprise came across his face but it quickly morphed into one of acceptance.
“You’re not supposed to be here.” You half-laughed at that.
“I could say the same to you…” Your voice had dropped to a soft, defeated one. Huffing and panting, you used your last remaining strength to pull yourself up and kneel, tenderly bringing your husband’s head onto your lap. He did not resist. It wasn’t like he had the strength to anyway. “You didn’t tell me you were going to be here, either.”
“It was not necessary… at the time,” Zandik said, looking right at you the whole time with those red eyes of his. “But I suppose I should have expected this. You never do as you are told, do you?”
“Of course not. But you should remember that whenever I break the rules, things turn out fine for us.” You smiled, and you had a feeling both of you were thinking of the same memories. That time you helped him break into the Akademiya’s library when it was closed, or the time you threw a book at someone for him, or the time you two helped each other on what was supposed to be solo assignments. Or the times you ran away from his needles and medicine, or the times you went behind his back and befriended the others. Those times ended out okay, so this time would be okay too.
Then, the building began to rumble, most likely about to collapse. The battle must have been quite fierce. Although the Traveler felt no remorse for the two of you, their kind heart still couldn’t help but feel the slightest twinge of pity. After all, the blonde had read the notes the two of you left scattered around Sumeru. To think that a relationship could last so long, especially one with the mad Doctor… You noticed their expression before you rasped out a mixture of a plea and demand.
“Why are you still here? Leave us now. I want to be alone with him.” Your words were empty of emotion towards them. There was no point in any hostility anymore, not when you had to treasure the last moments with your beloved. The Traveler didn’t seem surprised by your words, as they nodded and threw the bloodied Harbinger one last glance, before running away with the little fairy. It seemed they knew… you’d rather die here along with him than live without him.
You looked back at Zandik’s face, his once brightly colored red eyes now a darkened hue.
“I’ve failed you, [Name].” Since it was the end of the line now, even a genius scholar such as him had to admit defeat. Dottore thought back to all the times he swore to cure you. He swore he would do it so that you could be who you used to be once more. But he failed. He let you lose centuries of your life and left you in pain for your conscious ones. But you didn’t seem to share the sentiment.
“Failed me?” You couldn’t help but laugh at that, despite the tears that began to run down your cheeks. “Oh darling, you have never failed me. Not once in over four hundred years.” Zandik continued to stare at you because that was all the strength he had to do, so you reached for his hand and brought it to your cheek.
“You’ve loved me continuously for so many centuries, haven’t you? How could that ever be a failure?” You nuzzled into his hand, his own blood beginning to smear on your face, but you didn’t care. 
“Your love has changed so much over time. From your prickly and thorny yet beautiful love from the Akademiya. To your smooth and unabashed love now. But your love was unfaltering, to me at least. Perhaps I may be delusional, and I overthink how much you love me. But I think it was real, even though you may never admit it, that is what matters to me. So if you’re thinking about the cure, forget it.” Your hands were shaking and struggling to hold his to your cheek for this long, energy spent, but you continued anyway, even as a piece of the infrastructure suddenly caved in and collapsed on the opposite side of the room with a loud crash. “The cure isn’t what mattered. It was you.”
Zandik thinks you are the only person who has forgiven him. Not even he has. He knows he does not deserve it, but he shouldn’t say that to you now. But he thinks, even at this moment, perhaps it may seem sick or morbid, your beauty still manages to surpass that of any other being in Teyvat.
You thought about the Tsaritsa, who had shown you much love and kindness. You hoped she would finally achieve her goals. You thought about the other Harbingers, the ones who were still alive at least. You would miss them. You looked at your wedding ring. It was still intact. How lovely. Lastly, you thought about Zandik as you looked at him, and he seemed to realize something.
“[Name], reach into my pocket.” You were confused but you complied, wincing in pain a bit but successfully reached it and pulled out a box. It was the box he kept his wedding wing in. Popping it open, you were correct, and still couldn’t help but be a bit incredulous.
“You brought it with you?” You were surprised because a part of you still believed he thought the whole thing was a bit dumb.
“I normally do not but, with the length of the mission, I believed it would be a simple and easy way to be reminded of you.” That was cute.
“Sorry. I guess the good luck charm didn’t work,” you smiled apologetically as you slipped the band onto his finger, to which Zandik scoffed.
“You know very well I do not believe in luck.” You only laughed, though it was mostly drowned out by multiple crashes and rocks falling all around you. Being buried was a fitting end, to be honest. No one else needed to know about the two of you. No one else needed to know your stories. It would be best if the two of you ended up forgotten, lost to time. Then, no one would be able to misunderstand or twist your relationship.
Despite all of the pains that had befallen you, the suffering and hardships, you could happily say you lived a good life. You were happy, so happy, thanks to Zandik. Zandik was what made this life worth living… so this was okay. You would have loved to have been cured and lived out many more happy memories with him but… this was alright. But the time was limited, so this conversation needed to be wrapped up in a way that would satisfy you.
“I love you, Zandik.” You don’t expect any response back because of your husband’s poor track record with saying those words. 
The times Zandik has said the words ‘I love you’ have admittedly been scarce and in-between despite the centuries he’s spent with you. It was a grand total of… two times. And both had been said when he thought you were sleeping. 
The first time had been in the Akademiya. It had been a while since you two were a couple, and he had yet to say it. You expected that obviously. But one random night, when you two were cuddling and drifting off into dreamland, you heard the three words mumbled into the crook of your neck. It took everything in you not to react.
The second time had been when you had recently woken up from your coma. Dottore was around you constantly, taking so many tests that it made your head spin, and you had to take naps more often than not. And once again, as you were just about to slip off into slumber, you heard the three words whispered as he gently bit your ear.
Surprisingly enough, the third time would be now. Perhaps because he had nothing to lose anymore, as it was the end.
“I love you as well, [Name].” Your eyes go wide for a few seconds before you grin widely one last time, and you give him a look that says ‘I know.’ Zandik watched your eyes flutter shut as you leaned down to his face, and he let himself be enveloped in your final kiss, neither of you paying attention to the shadows cast by the multitude of broken architecture about to fall on top of you.
Let the fairy tale come to a close.
“In his last moments, the raven was taken back to a memory from centuries ago. It was a memory where he was truly happy with his lovely sparrow.”
Zandik awoke to a blue sky and a gentle breeze. He blinked, immediately trying to gauge where he was. But then the sound of a familiar voice flooded his senses.
“And you know what this professor had the audacity to say to me, Zandik? ‘Figure it out!’ Like, you’re supposed to be helping me, not writing me off! You’re getting paid for this!” You were lying down on the grass next to him, hands folded as you huffed. “At least I have you, Zandik. Way better than any damn professor.” He blinks at you. 
Zandik remembers this moment. It was the day when exams and classes were finally over, and you wanted to relax before helping him with his experiments. And you also thought it was the perfect time to rant about all the professors you had to deal with over the last few months. But soon, you just started bringing up random things that occurred over the term. Zandik couldn’t remember the last time he saw you like this. Donning the Akademiya uniform, so happy and carefree… healthy, strong, like nothing in the world bothered you.
He found himself slightly smiling at how stupidly happy you looked, before reaching out to you. But as soon as merely his fingernails came into contact with you, you began to dissolve right in front of his eyes. Immediately, he stiffened and sat up, again trying to take hold of you but you were no longer there. Zandik’s hands began to shake, and that’s when he realized his surroundings were changing.
The blue sky was now fading away, becoming pitch black along with everything else that was chipping away, ready to swallow him whole into the darkness.
Ah, he understood now.
This was the end.
“Finally, the twisted raven met his fate.”
Or so he thought. Zandik woke up once more. Everything seemed normal at first, the blue sky was once again there and the Sumerian breeze caressed his hair. Until he realized there was a sticky substance coated all over his hands.
Blood.
This wasn’t an unfamiliar occurrence for him, after all, he would usually get hands-on with his experiments, but he had an… odd feeling about this. Zandik blinked and all of a sudden, there you were lying on the ground in front of him.
Dead. Coated with blood.
Did he… kill you?
All too quickly, before he could reach out to hold your body or begin to process what happened, he was suddenly somewhere else. The desert.
Zandik laid eyes upon you. What he would usually see was you complaining about the heat while you dug through the ruins. What he saw instead was an Eremite plunging a sword through you.
And again. This time he awoke to you being completely cold and limp in his arms. And again. It didn’t take his brain long for him to understand what was happening.
His victims and test subjects could torture him for eternity, yet Dottore would not feel bothered or a shred of remorse. It would be a useless endeavor. But this? This was the perfect punishment. 
His beloved being killed in front of him, by the world, by other people, by natural forces, by his own hands. And for all of the power and knowledge he once had, he was powerless to do anything yet again.
… How ironic, Zandik thought.
At last, the tiny Archon closed the storybook.
It had been ages since the events in this tale had taken place. The Fatui were no more, Celestia was gone, the Traveler had long left this world, and Teyvat was at peace. So much time, that the Outcast’s name no longer floated around the Akademiya, now long forgotten. The God of Wisdom herself had gained a tremendous amount of knowledge from all the years that had flown by. And even still, she has not forgotten this story.
Yet, in all of her wisdom, she still cannot hope to fully understand the raven and the sparrow. The Dendro Archon found herself coming back to this tale, trying to comprehend their actions and thoughts. She reads it aloud to herself, draws pictures, and crafts the tale with her own words, yet it only leaves her more lost. Perhaps one day she will understand. But perhaps she won’t. Perhaps no one ever will.
After all, there were only two people who would ever truly understand the bond between the raven and the sparrow. 
Zandik and [Name]. 
An unfriendly and cold scholar and a sweet and caring one.
An immoral villain and an accomplice.
A violator of this world’s laws and a supporter.
A Harbinger and an assistant.
Regardless of those titles, perhaps at the end of the day, they only saw themselves as one thing to each other.
Two people who loved each other as if nothing else mattered.
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