#I like Monét as well I just have less to say about her so far

[horsegirlhob]

The great thing about this Dimension 20 season is that, as someone who does not watch drag race but who has a lot of friends who do, I can now finally provide opinions on at least some of the people they talk about. 

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic | Bad Girls Club (2/?)

Title: Bad Girls Club Summary:  Los Angeles’ new program, the Juvenile Female Rehabilitation Program (JFRP) was created with the purpose of taking at-risk girls in the county and send them to a summer-long program located where a sleepaway camp once stood. There, they will take classes in ethics, behavior, and other courses to help mold these young minds. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa have been sent there for wildly different reasons, but with the same result - a clean permanent record. Being roomed together, the pair might find an unlikely alliance (and maybe more) in each other. Word Count: ~2.7k (this chapter)/~5.2k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: E

Read on AO3

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“Why am I keeping watch, again?” Brooke Lynn asked in an anxious whisper, looking over her shoulder every few seconds as they walked, as if she sincerely expected someone to jump out of the bushes and catch them.

A’keria rolled her eyes. “Because you’ll take the least heat if you get caught,” she explained, murmuring to herself that letting her tag along was a bad idea and, “If Vanjie wasn’t so horny, we wouldn’t be stuck with her…”

“Both of you shut up, we’re almost there,” Vanessa snapped, the group of five pushing forward until they reached their destination.

Under the moonlight, the lake was beautifully illuminated, bringing a calm, picturesque frame around it. At the right angle, it could’ve been the stock image for a postcard. And it was quiet – a drastic contrast from every other moment of the program – only the sound of crickets and frogs filled the air. Truly, it felt like the only good and pure location they could reach for miles.

Then the girls began stripping and ‘pure’ was promptly removed from the descriptors. That had been the plan – sneak out after dinner for a late-night skinny dip, an act of rebellion both towards the program and the societal constraints that led them there in the first place. It was a moment to be fun and free – they would be damned if they didn’t jump on the chance.

“Hey Vanj, do you think the water’s clean? I bet it’s full of—Vanj? Vanjie?” Yvie made a couple of attempts to get the other girl’s attention, waving her hand in front of her face, before realizing why she didn’t stand a chance.

As soon as Brooke Lynn started undressing, Vanessa was a goner. Her gaze instantly fixated on the statuesque silhouette, watching the way the moonlight bounced off her porcelain skin, the way her toned muscles flexed as she moved. It almost felt too good to be true to be able to get to see her naked like this, so open and exposed.

“Would you like a bucket for your drool?” Scarlet teased, bumping shoulders with Vanessa and bringing her back to Earth, reluctant as she may be.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and shoved her away. “Eat me, bitch.”

“Uh-uh, you’ve got the wrong white girl.” She smirked before following Yvie and A’keria down the dock, a blissfully oblivious Brooke Lynn following the three of them with Vanessa on their tails.

Splash after splash, each girl descended into the freezing lake water, all of them doing their best not to squeal at the jarring temperature change. They all swam to the edge, giggling and catching their breath.

“Why does swimming naked feel so good anyway? Like, I feel like that’s objectively weird, but it’s nice,” Brooke mused, propping her arms up on the grass and looking back towards the main grounds.

“Freedom,” Vanessa offered as an answer. “We got full control of our bodies, choices, it’s like sticking it to the man and shit."

The other girls nodded in agreement. “That’s so profound, Vanjie.” Yvie toed the line of sincerity. “But we better wrap this up fast if we wanna escape with our lives.” And with that, they all pushed themselves out of the water and towards the pile of their clothes. The fabric clung to their wet bodies, but nobody seemed to mind, still reveling in the experiences all the way back to their respective rooms.

“You know,” Brooke started as she changed into her pajamas. “I felt like I got a lot closer to everyone. It felt like a summer camp moment.” She smiled as she towel-dried her still damp hair. “Is that lame?”

Vanessa chuckled fondly. “Nah, that’s sweet. Don’t tell no one I said that though,” she told her as she got into bed. Honestly, she kind of loved that cheesy holding hands around the campfire bonding she was talking about. “You feeling less boring now, at least?”

Brooke Lynn beamed proudly as she tucked herself in. “I do! And I’m gonna help you too next time. You know, with getting authority figures on your side.”

“We make a good team.” She hummed sleepily before her eyes shut.

------

“I’ve seen you staring at me, Vanjie,” Brooke Lynn cooed as she sauntered towards her. “You like what you see, baby?” She had Vanessa trapped on the bed, hovering over her with a wide smirk.

And Vanessa was helpless, frozen with no desire to move. She gazed up at Brooke with wide eyes, her heart racing. “Yes” was all she had managed to get out before Brooke’s lips were on her neck, hands roaming up and down her body. She shuddered as her smooth, slender fingers trailed down her torso until they hooked into the waistband of her pajama shorts, starting to tug them down and—

That fucking alarm. Vanessa groaned into her pillow, her arm flapping around blindly until it landed on her phone to shut it off. It was as bad a punishment as everything else in this goddamn program. She rolled onto her back reluctantly and noticed that Brooke Lynn wasn’t even in the room, let alone her bed. And, considering the wetness that had pooled between her thighs overnight, she was more than a little relieved.

“Oh good, you’re up,” Brooke chirped as she returned to the room – hair in a high ponytail and dressed in a sweat-stained tank top and shorts. “I just went for a jog. I would’ve invited you, but you looked so cute and peaceful.” She hummed as she got changed. Truth be told, she would have been far too distracted to get any actual exercise in had Vanessa accompanied her. Being around Vanessa in general was distracting if she thought about it – not that she would ever allow herself to.

Vanessa put on her most convincingly nonchalant smile as she swung her legs over to dangle off the side of the bed, toes just grazing the wooden floor. “Yeah, set my alarm like you been telling me, thank god.” She confirmed as she did her hair. “Did you do any of the assignments for today?” she asked offhandedly – anything to distract herself from that dream.

“I did and you can copy whatever you need to.” Brooke shrugged.“Yeah? You don’t have some sort of fuckin’… moral issue with it or whatever?” Vanessa asked with a laugh as they headed towards the other building.

Brooke shook her head. “Listen, I know we’re all here for the same reason, to stay out of trouble. No one gives a fuck if we actually learn anything as long as we don’t make any fuss,” she explained. “Everyone cheats to get ahead in private schools. Better grades get bigger grants, it’s the name of the game, babe.” Not leaving room for a rebuttal, she made her way into the classroom with her breakfast bag in hand.

Vanessa had to consciously close her mouth as she stared after Brooke Lynn. She blinked rapidly and pattered after her. Was that side of her there the whole time? Suffice it to say, more than her interest was piqued.

“How have you been holding up, honey?” Nina asked as Brooke perched herself on her desk. “I can only imagine this has been a bit of a roller coaster for you.”

Brooke laughed dryly, staring off in front of her. Roller coaster was one way of putting it, sure, but a tornado might be more accurate. “That’s one way of putting it.” She sighed, then looked towards her. “Can I ask you something?” After the teacher nodded, she continued. “How do you feel about summer flings?”

“Why, what have you heard?” Nina’s eyes darted back and forth anxiously.

While Brooke did often confide in Nina, the opportunity to deflect and distract was just too good to pass up. “Oh my god, do you have a crush on someone? Here? Who? You have to tell me,” she insisted, bouncing excitedly.

Nina, of course, instantly regretted jumping to conclusions. In retrospect, it was glaringly obvious that the student had come to her to discuss her own matters of the heart. Great. Fantastic. Well, there was nothing else she could do but bite the bullet and confess. “Your home ec teacher, Monét. I don’t know how or why it happened but… Well, I guess it started over a group discussion over how we were going to structure our classes, and we both got mad about how some of the people in charge were talking about you guys. She’s so passionate about making sure you guys still get to be teenagers, it’s so sweet.”

This was thrilling for Brooke Lynn. Some high schoolers might find it weird or gross to know about their teachers’ love lives. There was always that moment when a teacher would come to class visibly pregnant and after the excitement died down, the class was left with the thought of someone fucking them raw. But she didn’t see Nina as a teacher, or any authority figure, really. She was more of an older sister or cousin, a friend with more life experience. So, to find out she was going through such a similar issue? It was nearly too perfect.

“That’s so cute, I’m gonna die. Does she know? Does she like you?”

“Oh, I regret this already.” Nina chuckled dryly and hid her face in her hands. “You know I have no idea when someone’s flirting with me, Brooke. I have no idea.” She lamented before bolting upright. “But don’t you dare try to meddle in this shit.” Her eyes narrowed at Brooke, trying her best to look stern and serious towards someone that was physically incapable of being intimidated by her.

Brooke Lynn gave an exaggerated roll of the eyes. “Fine, fine, I’ll be good. I promise.” She raised her hand to swear and hopped off the desk. “I’ll get out of your hair. I promised Vanessa I’d teach her how to skip stones by the lake during rec time anyway.”

Nina cocked her head to the side curiously. “Mateo? Your roommate?” She leaned forward. “Is that, perchance, who you were going to ask me about in regards to a summer fling?”

“Hey, don’t try to deflect onto me.” Brooke laughed despite how red her cheeks had turned. “Good luck with your teacher crush!” she called out, already halfway out the door.

------

“On Ms. Monét? Deadass?” Vanessa asked as she and Brooke Lynn walked towards the lake. Occasionally their hands would brush against each other, but they would always stop just shy of letting their fingers interlace. “That’s fuckin’ wild. You know, she and A’keria been real buddy-buddy, I could have her put in a good word if—”

“Don’t you dare!” Brooke laughed. “She’ll lose her shit if she finds out I told you, let alone have it spread around,” she explained, stopping when they reached their destination. “It feels different in the daytime, doesn’t it?”It was the same lake that they had all been naked in the night before, but it may as well have been another body of water entirely. It was still serene, but it had a vibrant hue and warmth that retreated into the shadows when the sun went down. Now, it’d feel wrong to interrupt that scene with nudity – not that either would be opposed to watching the other strip down in better lighting.

Brooke Lynn crouched down, picked up a smooth stone, and walked towards the edge, stopping about a foot before the land meets the sea and waited for Vanessa to join her. She handed her the rock with a smile. “I want you to give it a try on your own first,” she instructed, taking a few cautious steps back.

Vanessa hurled the stone into the water like it’d just catcalled her from across the street. It didn’t skip, instead crashing into the water with a splash. Even though she doubted that she did it right, she still turned to Brooke with a toothy grin. “How was that?”

“Angry,” she answered, giggling softly. “Like the lake owes you money.” It took a couple of moments to procure another stone that could get the job done, and Brooke placed it gingerly in her hand. “Okay, I’m going to get you in the right position.”

And Vanessa was about to make some sort of sexual innuendo, but then Brooke got behind her and wrapped her arms around her like the pottery scene in Ghost and words were suddenly unnecessary. She felt her hand move from her shoulder to her wrist, placing her arm just so. Vanessa bit her lip – Brooke’s body was pressed right against her from behind, the taller girl manipulating her stance and sending her heartbeat into overdrive.

Was it actually necessary for Brooke to be all up on her like that? No, but she wasn’t about to point that out any time soon. “Perfect.” She took a step to the side. “Try it now.”

To her pleasant surprise, Vanessa got the stone to skip four times before it was submerged under water. “I did it!” Her face lit up with excitement. She turned to Brooke, eyes wide and sparkling with joy. “That was so fucking cool!”

Brooke’s smile reached her eyes as she watched Vanessa bubble over with enthusiasm. “God, you’re so adorable.”

“Huh?”

“I said… I think I heard the bell. We better head back inside.”

------

It was just past one in the morning and Brooke Lynn was wide awake, staring silently at the ceiling. She couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was preventing her from sleeping but avoiding talking about her growing feelings for the girl in the bed five feet from was probably playing a role in it. And normally she avoided staring at her for long, but her brows furrowed, and she rolled onto her side when she heard Vanessa mumbling because she swore, she heard her name somewhere in the otherwise unintelligible noises.

Vanessa lay with her head pushed back into her pillows and her back curved up, though being under her blanket it wasn’t fully visible. That was necessary, as she was doing more than just arching her back under the covers. Her hand was hidden inside her shorts, two fingers pressed against her clit and rubbing in increasingly fervent circles. The other hand moved up under her tank top, groping her breasts and tweaking her nipples, anything to get any more stimulation. Her eyes fluttered shut, letting her imagination take over and her hands do all the work.

For the most part, Vanessa was biting down on her lip, but whenever they parted, soft, breathy moans escaped. But that wasn’t all – when she tilted her head towards the wall, “Fuck, Brooke…” slipped out in a whimper. It devolved back to heavy breathing as her fingers moved down, pressing into her pussy as she only continued to work herself into a frenzy.

Brooke’s eyes shot wide as she flopped onto her back, feeling a blush spread across her face and down her chest. There was little room for misinterpretation – Vanessa was getting off and thinking of her. Her mind went wild with curiosity – was this the first time it happened? Or the more pressing question – what specifically was she imagining? She was hit with the intense desire to run over and act out whatever fantasy was eliciting those pretty moans from Vanessa.

Vanessa pushed her face into her pillows when she found it more difficult to stay quiet. Her hand left her breasts, allowing her to focus on pumping two fingers in and out, bucking into her own touch, chasing the sensation. Her hips started to jerk unsteadily and her teeth gnashing at the pillowcase just to keep herself quiet. And within a few minutes, she was still and silent. Her breathing evened out and she was out cold.

God, if Brooke was having trouble sleeping before, it would be impossible now. It didn’t seem real – maybe she was delirious from lack of sleep. Or maybe she was projecting, some wishful thinking perhaps. Either way, she was left with a hot, throbbing sensation that wasn’t about to go away any time soon.

“Fuck it,” she muttered, hand going into her pajama bottoms and eyes closing. Feelings could wait until the morning, she needed this now.

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic | Bad Girls Club (7/8)

Title: Bad Girls Club Summary:  Los Angeles’ new program, the Juvenile Female Rehabilitation Program (JFRP) was created with the purpose of taking at-risk girls in the county and send them to a summer-long program located where a sleepaway camp once stood. There, they will take classes in ethics, behavior, and other courses to help mold these young minds. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa have been sent there for wildly different reasons, but with the same result - a clean permanent record. Being roomed together, the pair might find an unlikely alliance (and maybe more) in each other. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter)/~19.2k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: E

Read on AO3

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“So, how have you been?”

It was the most innocuous question possible, but Brooke Lynn already felt like she was in an interrogation room – the kind where the only light came from a lamp that was being shone in her face. Her hands were clammy, and her gaze fixated on the table. The pounding in her chest coupled with a ringing in her ears and made it near impossible to think straight. “Good enough,” she answered with no idea if it was actually her voice.

Kameron gave a short nod of understanding. “Maybe not the best question to ask, all things considered,” she conceded. “But I couldn’t leave without catching up with you, and maybe a few other things…”

“I’m not having sex with you.”

She quirked her brow before laughing and shaking her head. “No, no, that ship has sailed. I’m much more interested in whatever’s going on between you and that little firecracker you were staring at the whole time. This is new for you and I’m intrigued.”

Brooke flushed a deep red, swallowing thickly and clearing her throat. “Why are you so interested in my love life? I figured you of all people would be the last to want to meddle.” In this camp alone, she could think of at least three more obvious suspects for that sort of thing.

Kameron shrugged. “My shift ended, and I have an hour to kill, might as well make you squirm. Besides, I meant it when I said you and I are cool – just because you’re used to everyone lying and being passive aggressive doesn’t mean I’m looped into that.”

And she had a point – realizing that some people actually do mean what they say was an important life lesson Brooke Lynn had been taking away from her time here. It had been jarring at first, how blunt everyone could be, but she had come to appreciate the fact that, nine times out of ten, she knew exactly what she was getting into with someone. Sure, growing up in an emotionally repressed environment made her more intuitive, but at the cost of constantly questioning where she actually stood with people. “So, what, you’re gonna mediate some sort of therapy session between us?”

“Oh, good idea!”

“Wait, no—” But she was already being dragged across the dining hall.

Then Kameron got a hold of Vanessa’s wrist with her free hand and suddenly they were both being escorted outside without anyone around them giving it a second thought. This allowed her to take the girls outside, sitting in a patch of grass. “Okay, ladies! Couples’ therapy is in session.”

“Couples?” Both girls questioned in unison.

“Situationship therapy isn’t as catchy, work with me,” she rolled her eyes. “Now, tell Dr. Michaels what the trouble is.”

“Hey, I wanna see your medical license!” Vanessa could feel Kameron’s glare burning a hole into the side of her head, and – despite the fact it did make Brooke laugh – she gave in. “Fine, fine,” she sighed dramatically. “I took it personally when Brooke Lynn said she wanted to forget this place and go back to her normal life because it felt like I don’t mean nothing to her. Can I go now?”

“That’s not how therapy works. Sit,” Kameron reprimanded and watched Vanessa sit with crossed arms and furrowed brows, finding her defiant pout almost amusing.

Brooke Lynn, on the other hand, was far less amused. “That’s what this was about? My family life is strained to the breaking point, my future has been dangling in the balance, I have no fucking idea what sort of hell on earth I could be facing when I go back to school, and you made all of that about yourself?” She was seething, vitriol shooting off every word. It was hard to avoid tripping over herself as she scrambled to her feet. “This is beyond playing Dr. Phil, Kameron. This is… I don’t know what the fuck this is, other than fucking insane.” Turning on her heel, she all but sprinted off.

Vanessa was quick on her feet despite the sudden panic that sunk her heart into the pit of her stomach. “Brooke! Brooke Lynn, wait! Let me explain!” she shouted, running as fast as her short legs would carry her across the wide expanse of grass.

Even though Kameron suddenly found herself left in the dust, she was unfazed. She nodded observantly, brows knitting together. “Guess ‘marriage counselor’ is off the potential career list,” she decided, brushing herself off and returning to the dining hall. The other girls from her group had asked about her disappearance with marginal interest but accepted ‘just needed some air’ at face value.

Meanwhile, Brooke Lynn had made it nearly a quarter mile down the camp’s nature trail before Vanessa caught up to her. Sure, she could have pushed it further, but despite her fury, she knew she couldn’t outrun the inevitable confrontation forever. They did still share a room, after all – and it was way too far into the summer to try to change that. She whirled around, making the other girl skid to a halt, dirt kicking up at her heels. “Fine. Talk,” Brooke snapped.

There was a brief moment where Vanessa forgot all she had to say, but as soon as she began, the words flowed out. “Look, I know I always be walkin’ around like I’m the shit and all that. And I don’t really suffer from no low self-esteem or whatever, but I know I’m not smart, I know I probably won’t ever amount to nothing. So when someone like you, someone so fucking far out of my league… when whatever we had started… I don’t know, I felt special.” She looked away and sniffled, a wave of humiliation hitting her as she forced herself to come to terms with what had been building up inside of her over the past few weeks. “Then you started talking about going home and it was the reality check I was afraid of. Guess I was mad at you ‘cause I was mad at myself or something.”

Brooke Lynn didn’t know what she was expecting Vanessa to say – she had learned early on in their relationship that anticipating anything that came out of her mouth was essentially impossible – but that confession had caught her completely off guard. There was an emotional self-awareness that blew her away. She was sure A’keria had helped her get there, but that didn’t lessen how impressed she was. But at the same time, her heart broke for her – those insecurities were real and raw and spoke volumes about who Vanessa was. Yes, she was still frustrated, but it was hard to stay angry at her, leaving her quiet as she took it all in.

“You probably hate me now, huh?”

The brokenness in Vanessa’s voice hit her again. Brooke shook her head, shoving her hands into the pockets of her shorts. “I could never hate you. I just don’t have it in me.” She exhaled deeply, looking up at the bright, sunny sky. It almost mocked them with how perfectly cheery it was, like the sun had no right to shine that bright when their hearts felt so dark and heavy. “And for what it’s worth, you don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. You are the very definition of special, Vanessa.” There was a brief pause before she followed up with, “I meant that as a compliment, not shade.”

Vanessa managed a soft laugh, pushing the hair out of her eyes, even if her gaze was fixed squarely on the ground. “I know what you meant,” she assured and let out a deep sigh. When her mom would say that sort of thing to her, she could never fully shake the sense that there was a hint of obligation – your mom has to tell you you’re special, right? But when Brooke said it, it felt real and made her feel special. “So, where we at now?”

That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? Brooke Lynn hesitated, chewing on her lip. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Meet me at the lake after dinner, we’ll see how we feel then.” The lake had grown to have a sentimental meaning for them – if there were any spot to determine their fate, that had to be it.

“We’ll see how we feel,” Vanessa echoed and turned to make the walk back to the dining hall. It felt like such a long trek when she wasn’t chasing after someone.

------

“It kind of sounds like you’ve got your course of action figured out,” Nina mused observantly. “What are you looking for me to tell you, exactly?”

Brooke shrugged, tugging at the strings hanging off the frayed ends of her denim shorts. “I just wish I knew how to figure out what I feel. I’m used to everything being clear cut. Vanessa is just… She’s so… I’ve never met anyone like her before. And no one has ever made me feel like this before.”

Her teacher let out a good-natured laugh and shook her head. “I swear, it’s like you forget that you’re seventeen. You’re experiencing a lot of firsts, that’s what being a teenager is all about. I think meeting someone like Vanessa is good for you, and no matter what your relationship ends up being, I think you’ll have grown for it.”

“That doesn’t make this any easier.” She kicked her legs and whined. “This is tonight, I need to bring an answer or I’m gonna look like an asshole.”

“You’re overthinking things again, Brooke,” Nina gently pointed out. “All you need to do is speak from the heart and the rest will follow.” At the end of the day, she knew the teen wanted an impossible solution that wrapped up her story in a neat bow. While she was flattered by her unwavering faith, she just couldn’t seem to drive home the reality of the situation.

Brooke rolled her eyes dramatically and laid back on the desk. “God, that’s so lame. Does Monét like that sort of cheesy shit?” Deflecting to their relationship seemed to be a go-to for both herself and Vanessa when they didn’t want to be faced with the reality of their circumstances.

It was most likely due to the fact that it always garnered the same reaction – the teachers would recoil and blush. They would stammer and lose their train of thought and give the flustered teens a moment to recuperate.

Unfortunately for Brooke, Nina seemed unfazed this time around. In fact, she smirked. “Actually, she does,” she grinned. “And do you know why I know that? Because we talk and communicate our feelings like human beings. You should try it.”

“You didn’t have to come for me like that,” Brooke mumbled. Nina must have picked that up from Monét, she thought and momentarily regretted her matchmaking decision.

------

A’keria looked at Vanessa with pursed lips and furrowed brows. She pensively cocked her head to the side, and it took much longer than her friend would have liked before she started talking. “You’re a hot fucking mess, you know that, right? You both are.”

“Maybe so.” Vanessa clicked her tongue. “But that doesn’t answer my question, bitch. What the fuck am I s’posed to do at the lake?”

The eyeroll she received in response wasn’t helpful, but it wasn’t unexpected either. “Have you ever solved a romantic problem by yourself? When you gonna realize that there ain’t no one that can tell you how to feel about Brooke Lynn. That’s between you and her.”

Vanessa pouted and crossed her arms, actively looking down and away from her. “Look, you know damn well I ain’t never gonna meet another girl like her… Maybe that’s for the best. But I don’t wanna fuck this shit up. I’ll never forgive myself if I do.”

A’keria sighed, her expression softening. She wrapped her arm around the smaller girl and squeezed her shoulder. “Vanjie, even if it is the worst-case scenario – you guys don’t work out and don’t see each other again – life goes on. Your heart will heal, and you’ll find another girl worthy of all the love you’ve got to give and will welcome it with open arms.”

Deep in her heart, Vanessa knew there was truth in her friend’s words. She had healed her broken heart before, life had gone on. Even with that, however, she couldn’t let go of the idea that this would be her ‘one that got away,’ the ‘what if’ that she would look back on with a sense of longing when she was old and gray. But she didn’t have the words to convey that sense of fear. “I guess so.”

It wasn’t an especially convincing statement, but A’keria knew when to stop pushing. She gave her a hug from the side before letting go and standing up. “Come on, let’s get a snack or something. Can’t have romantic revelations on an empty stomach, right?”

------

The lake was as serene as ever when Vanessa and Brooke Lynn approached it. Crickets were chirping, the water was still, the full moon illuminated the picturesque scene. It was just the neutral environment that they needed for this conversation.

They sat down cross-legged and faced each other. It took what felt like ages (but in reality, was less than a minute) before either of them spoke, but Vanessa was the one to break the silence.

“I thought I’d know what to say when I got here, but I still don’t know shit,” she confessed. “All I know is I’m tired of fighting with you and worrying about everything I do. I don’t care if I’m not good enough for you – one of the first things you said to me was that we’re equal here.”

Brooke Lynn shook her head. “I don’t want you to think you not being good enough is the issue. I’m not better than you because of where I come from, or at all.” She reached out and took her hands. “Why don’t we just make the most of the time we have together?”

Vanessa didn’t need clarification when it came to that. She moved closer until she was sat on Brooke’s lap, her arms draped around her neck and their lips connecting in a tender kiss. That was all they needed, it seemed, for all their worries and fears to melt away.

Brooke’s arms wrapped around Vanessa’s waist and held her close as the kiss deepened. After a moment, she slipped her hand under her shirt, pushing it up inch by inch before she pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” she breathed out.

“And you not half bad yourself,” Vanessa smirked, trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, until her lips latched onto her pulse point and left a hickey in its wake. If the moan Brooke let out was any clue, that was the right spot, leading her to pay extra attention to the dark, purple mark that was forming, only breaking contact to take her shirt off as well.

They didn’t talk much after that – instead, there was an eager, haphazard mess of limbs as they tried to undress each other as quickly as they could manage, each article of clothing landing somewhere in the grass.

When they were naked, Vanessa pinned Brooke to the ground, a mischievous smirk on her lips. Normally, she would have submitted control to the blonde, but she wanted to channel everything she had been feeling over the past few days into the perfect, lustful expression. She trailed her lips down her body, not leaving an inch of skin untouched.

While Vanessa’s hand moved between Brooke Lynn’s thighs, her mouth moved to both of her breasts, massaging her nipples with her tongue and savoring the moans it elicited. She started with her hand by pressing her thumb to her clit, rubbing in small circles while she slowly kissed down to her lower abdomen.

“Turn around, baby. I wanna take care of you too,” Brooke insisted, and – despite Vanessa’s original plan – she had her hands bracing on her hips in a matter of seconds. She didn’t wait for her to start before she traced her tongue in a line down her slit before wiggling it inside.

“Fuck…” Vanessa exhaled softly, momentarily distracted before she gathered herself enough to reciprocate. She had a firm grip on Brooke’s thighs, fingernails digging into her flesh as she licked and sucked on her clit with a fervor that was reserved exclusively for her.

Vanessa’s skill and enthusiasm had a clear effect on Brooke Lynn. Her body twitched and trembled under her touch, causing her own ministrations to be erratic and fierce. She was the first to come, too, moaning out despite how stifled it was.

Even though she couldn’t hear it clearly, Vanessa knew when she had gotten Brooke off, paying extra attention to work her through her orgasm. It wasn’t until she was certain she was spent before she shifted to just riding her face, clasping her hand over her mouth in a vain attempt at keeping quiet – the last thing they needed was to wake up an adult.

Brooke was able to focus all of her attention on eating Vanessa out as soon as she was able to move her body as she needed to, her hands roaming the expanse of her thighs and torso while she refused to come up for air.

“O-Oh god, fuck, fuck, Brooke!” Staying quiet proved to be too difficult of a task when Vanessa approached her climax. She bit down on her lip, whimpering and whining as she rode it out.

When Vanessa had calmed down from her orgasmic high, Brooke scooped her up in her arms and held her close. They lay in relative silence – their breathing still audibly heavy – and basked in the warmth of each other’s bodies.

Maybe this did clear the fog of confused emotions that had incessantly followed them, or maybe it threw a wrench into things. All either of them knew was that there was nowhere in the world they’d rather be than in each other’s arms.

[artificialqueens]

Exercise in folly 2.0 - Chapter 2.1 (Craquaria) - SamWhity

Title: Exercise in Folly 2.0

Summary: Monét looked at her with disbelief, before sighing: “Giovanni never saw the damn video. He dodged the whole thing like a pro because he was trying to be your friend”. “He’s my friend”. Cracker’s answer came without any hesitation, so natural and passionate that the other queen smiled softly. “Cracks…” Summary of the chapter: Maxwell tries again and receives an unexpected answer. Giovanni sulks and Kevin and Nicola are the best friends we all should wish for. Author’s note: Even though Aquaria and Jordan Stawecki seem to be friendly with eachother again, I decided to have them still un-reconciled for the time being. Everything you will read about this moment in time and the so-called drama should be furthermore considered purely fictional and nothing that is portrayed here has any legitimacy.

Chapter one

You keep me up at night To my messages, you do not reply You know I still like you the most The best of the best and the worst of the worst Well, you can never know The places that I go I still like you the most You’ll always be my favorite ghost

(Florence + The Machine, Big God)

Even though he deeply enjoyed touring with others queens, Maxwell Heller couldn’t help himself from sighing contently while putting down his luggage in the entrance of his apartment.

“Home sweet home”, he mumbled with a smile, before closing the door behind him.

“Coffee?”, Kathelyn asked while making her way to the kitchen.

“Of course”, the man answered, then he picked up one suitcase and started unpacking the gifts and fanarts he received on the road.

Just as he started reading a very long letter, his phone vibrated.

Monét X-Change, 2:34 pm: Got home safe?

Monét X-Change, 2:34 pm: We’re having dinner at mine, with Dustin and Yuhua. You coming?

Monét X-Change, 2:35 pm: I’ll ask Giovanni as well, but only the Lord knows what is up with that twink nowadays…

Monét X-Change, 2:35 pm: You coming, right?

Monét X-Change, 2:36 pm: Come on Cracks, answer already!

Maxwell chuckled, clearly amused by his friend’s lack of patience, before typing a short answer.

Miz Cracker, 2:37 pm: All right, all right. I’ll be there.

Monét X-Change, 2:38 pm: Perfect! Bring Kathelyn with you, it will be fun!

“What are you laughing at?”, his best friend asked, while handing him a mug full of steaming coffee.

“Kevin is being ridiculous as usual”, he explained, before taking a sip of the beverage and wincing in pain “Shit! That was really hot!”.

Kathelyn rolled her eyes, before going to her bedroom and starting to unpack.

“I’ll see a couple of friends tonight, don’t wait for me”, she said, while folding a shirt.

Maxwell nodded, then he added: “I’ll be at Kevin’s for dinner, don’t worry”.

The scoff he received as an answer was followed by a quick: “Well now I’m worried. Don’t get into any trouble, Mister”.

The look she received as an answer was enough to make her giggle.

“I love you too”, she conceded with a soft smile, then she closed the door behind her.

Kathelyn, 2:43 pm: I’m serious. We don’t have enough money to pay bail yet.

Kathelyn, 2:43 pm: Can you imagine? Okay, Kathelyn, time for slob.

Kathelyn, 2:44 pm: You have to admit that it was pretty funny.

Kathelyn, 2:44 pm: Right?

Kathelyn, 2:44 pm: RIGHT?!

Maxwell, 2:45 pm: I was waiting for you to finish your little piece…

Kathelyn, 2:45 pm: Don’t be so salty… :P

Maxwell, 2:46 pm: I will call in intervention, if you don’t stop

Maxwell, 2:47 pm: I’ve warned you

Kathelyn, 2:47 pm: You’re no fun…

After a couple of minutes, Maxwell’s phone vibrated once again, making him snort.

Kathelyn, 2:52 pm: You have to admit it. It’s time for slob was HILARIOUS.

***

Nicola, 2:43 pm: I just received the upteenth video of “Viva Las Vegas”. Please send help.

Giovanni Palandrani, barely awake but already in a weird mood, chuckled at his phone. With a little smile on his lips, he typed an answer.

Giovanni, 2:44 pm: Oh, poor you. Do you want me to send you “New York, New York”, just to switch it up a little bit?

The answer he got made him giggle stupidly.

Nicola, 2:45 pm: Do not even dare, kid! Otherwise I will personally ask Gaga to strike you from her beloved list of the most loyal fans!

Nicola, 2:45 pm: Where has the respect for the elders gone?

Nicola, 2:46 pm: Not that I’m old.

Nicola, 2:46 pm: Because I am certainly not old, understood?

Giovanni’s smile grew bigger. He quickly replied, before making his way to the balcony of the hotel room.

Giovanni, 2:47 pm: I would never imply you are old. I will just state that Shaquida was still going to daycare, while you were already driving one of those ugly tanks you like so much.

Giovanni, 2:48 pm: To quote Bob the Drag Queen, Nicola Formichetti is so old, he would probably die the moment he decided to act his age.

He did not receive any kind of answer for a couple of minutes and the lack of response made him worry he took it too far. Why was he always taking it too far?

“Goddamn it, Giovanni”, he murmured, before typing quickly.

Giovanni, 2:51 pm: It was totally inappropriate, I am so sorry! I should have just shut up.

Giovanni, 2:51 pm: Sorry, I am just in a weird mood. I am so so sorry…

Giovanni, 2:52 pm: I understand if you’re mad now but please know I really did not mean it in a disrespectful way.

The answer he got made him snort his water and sigh with relief at the same time.

Nicola, 2:54 pm: RELAX, I was just busy. I know how to roll with the punches kid… ;)

“You bastard”, he whispered, before answering.

Giovanni, 2:55 pm: Busy recording yourself playing the piano? Charming… :P

Nicola, 2:55 pm: Can we please go back to the apology? I liked you way better when you were sincerely apologizing…

Giovanni started laughing, before realising someone knocked at his hotel door.

“It’s open”, he said.

One of the hotel’s butlers was standing in front of the door, looking at him composedly, his hands hidden behind his back.

“The car will be here in less than forty minutes, sir”, he announced, before handing him a bouquet of flowers and adding: “Someone left this for you at the counter, today”.

The young man thanked him, before closing the door behind him and starting to gather his suitcases. He could do it even without Jordan, he thought to himself.

He put the bouquet on top of his carry-on, before picking the card and reading it out loud.

“To Aquaria. Thanks for the most amazing show I could possibly wish for. You are one of the best performers I had the pleasure to witness and I can’t wait to see you again, slaying on stage. Xoxo”

The boy smiled, before taking a picture of the sweet gift and uploading it to his Instastories with the caption “Blessed” and a smiling kitty.

In that exact moment, his phone vibrated again.

Monét X-Change, 3:04 pm: We’re having dinner at mine today! You’re in right?

He smiled, excited at the idea of seeing Kevin, before realizing he could not possibly make it to New York on time and sighing.

Aquaria, 3:04 pm: I wish! I’ll be back later tonight :(

Aquaria, 3:05 pm: You can feed me leftovers for brunch tomorrow, if you’re free. :D

Monét X-Change 3:05 pm: Lunch at mine and it’s a date. ;)

Aquaria, 3:06 pm: Now that took a turn…

Monét X-Change, 3:06 pm: You bitch!!!

Monét X-Change, 3:06 pm: You only wish…

A quick glance at his watch made him realize his ride would have arrived in a couple of minutes. He put his bags on the trolley he got from the reception and made his way to the elevator.

“You can make it, see?”, he murmured to himself, trying to avoid thinking about the whole drama around Jordan and his sudden interest in Los Angeles.

Once in the elevator, he found another text.

Miz Cracker, 3:12 pm: Are you coming to Monét’s?

He quickly left the message on read, before going back to the other one and trying to come up with a silly if not funny answer.

Aquaria, 3:12 pm: Last time I checked, I already gave to charity. Like a ton. Maybe next year you’ll be luckier ;)

“Weak”, he murmured to himself, before exiting the elevator and waiting for the car in the lobby of the hotel.

His phone vibrated again.

Miz Cracker, 3:14 pm: Are you purposefully ignoring me?

Miz Cracker, 3:14 pm: If you do not feel like talking it’s fine, just stop leaving me on read.

Miz Cracker, 3:15 pm: For real, Giovanni.

With a sigh, Giovanni locked the screen and saw the car approaching. He exited the building, put his sunglasses on and smiled at the driver, who then proceeded to load the suitcases in the trunk. He sat in the back-seat and put on his headphones, trying to come up with an answer for Cracker as well. Nothing. His phone vibrated once again.

Monét X-Change, 3:22 pm: You little sly bitch…

Monét X-Change, 3:22 pm: Have you talked to Cracks, btw?

Monét X-Change, 3:23 pm: And don’t you even dare to play dumb. You know better.

“Shit”, Giovanni murmured, before biting his lower lip and typing a couple of words.

Aquaria, 3:24 pm: I don’t know what to say.

Monét X-Change, 3:25 pm: Kid… just tell him how you felt while watching that video.

Aquaria, 3:25 pm: It’s not that.

Aquaria, 3:25 pm: It’s a lot more than that and I do not know how to react. And fucking everything around me is crumbling…

Monét X-Change, 3:26 pm: I heard about Jordan. I’m sorry, baby.

Aquaria, 3:26 pm: Can we please not talk about it now? I don’t really feel like crying in a taxi…

Monét X-Change, 3:27 pm: Of course, baby. Of course. I will see you tomorrow okay? Come at around one and we’ll have a kiki.

Aquaria, 3:27 pm: Thank you, Kevin. :*

“We’re here”, the driver pulled over, before exiting and starting to look for a cart to put Giovanni’s luggage on.

The young man exited the car as well, then took his bag and thanked the driver with a polite smile.

“Keep the change”, he said, while handing him some cash.

He quickly entered the airport and deposited his suitcases, before heading to the lounge and helping himself with a glass of juice.With a sigh, he took his phone out of his bag and tried to come up with a reply for Maxwell.

Nothing. Again.

The screen lit up for a quick second.

Nicola, 3:51 pm: Already at the airport? How are you feeling?

He bit his lower lip, before answering.

Giovanni, 3:52 pm: Honestly? I don’t know… I have so many things on my mind and I can’t stop thinking about other things and all this thinking is making me crazy.

“Way to go, Giovanni. You really have a way with words”, he sneered, after reading the message once again.

Nicola, 3:52 pm: Care to untuck? (See what I did there?)

Giovanni smiled at the attempt at making him laugh, before typing further.

Aquaria, 3:53 pm: I do not know where to begin, honestly… there is so much going on and I have so little control over how things are going…

Nicola, 3:54 pm: I will take an educated guess and say it has little to do with the lack of creativity in your current work, right?

Nicola, 3:54 pm: And before you start, your work is still fucking incredible.

Nicola, 3:55 pm: But I’ve known you long enough, kid…

The young man sighed, before answering.

Giovanni, 3:56 pm: I am in a weird place, right now. After all this drama about Jordan and people assuming I treated him like a fucking slave, I had to sit and watch that video. And it stung more than I could ever predict.

Giovanni quickly realized he was close to tears and decided to put his sunglasses back on, just to prevent a scene.

The other man’s answer was concise.

Nicola, 3:58 pm: Tell him

Nicola, 3:58 pm: Tell him that it hurt and maybe you can sort this shit out

Giovanni, 3:59 pm: Maybe

Nicola, 4:00 pm: Listen, I’ll be in NYC tomorrow afternoon. Sushi at mine?

Giovanni smiled: the care that man had for him was something he was incredibly grateful for, even if he could not quite figure out why the older one was caring so much. He quickly typed an answer.

Giovanni, 4:01 pm: I could use some sushi for dinner tomorrow, actually

Nicola, 4:01 pm: Then it’s a date! Let’s say at 9 PM?

Giovanni, 4:02 pm: That sounds perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Nicola, 4:03 pm: See you tomorrow, kid. Be safe xoxo

When his flight was announced, the young man got up quickly and made his way towards the gate. Once seated, he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

***

“Guess who’s back in da house!”.

Kevin welcomed him with a solid hug and a warm smile. Maxwell entered the apartment, hung is coat and made his way to the kitchen, where Yuhua and Dustin were chatting sipping on some cheap wine.

“Hi guys”, he smiled and took a couple of steps forward to hug the both of them.

Yuhua hugged him back, with a big smile.

“How have you been, girl?”, the queen asked, before making space for Dustin to hug him too.

Max hugged the friend back, before answering: “Good. Busy but I can’t complain”.

They quickly sat at the table, waiting for the food to be delivered.

“Has someone heard from Giovanni?”, Dustin asked, while sipping on his glass of wine.

Kevin raised his glass, nodding.

“I did. He’s not home until later tonight”, he explained, then he added: “I will meet with him tomorrow, to see how he’s doing and stuff”.

Yuhua raised an eyebrow.

“Stuff?”.

In that exact moment, Maxwell chocked on his glass of soda and started coughing, causing Dustin to laugh manically.

“You bitch!”, Kevin laughed, patting his best friend on the back in order to prevent him from choking any further, “I want to see how he’s doing, what he’s up to and this kind of things. I also have yet to give him my Christmas present”, he said with a proud smile.

The sound of the doorbell interrupted the conversation and the host stood up to go take the food and pay.

“I’ll be right back, ladies”.

After a couple of minutes, they were sitting in front of a plethora of boxes and paper bags full of Thai food.

“You really went all out”, Yuhua looked at the food with disbelief, before adding: “Are you sure you don’t need anything from us?”.

Kevin pinched his friend, before opening a container and smiling at the sight of the steaming hot curry inside it.

“I just thought it would be nice to spend time all together again”, he said before pausing and adding: “Well, without Giovanni… but you know what I mean”.

The others nodded, before starting to eat.

***

Finally in his apartment, Giovanni left the suitcases in the hallway and sighed.

“Home sweet home”, he murmured, before switching the light on and deciding he might as well turn the heating on and warm up the rooms a little bit.

His phone vibrated, making him jump.

Jordan, 00:17 am: In February I will be gone.

Jordan, 00:17 am: Just letting you know.

The young man bit his lower lip, before typing a quick answer.

Giovanni, 00:18 am: Thank you for letting me know.

He put his phone back in his pocket, then he went to his room and opened a drawer, taking out a small plastic bag. He rolled himself a joint and went to smoke it on the balcony, trying to clear his head.

“Shit”, he murmured, before closing his eyes and sighing.

He did not know what to do, let alone how to react to Jordan’s antics any more. After the whole fiasco in London, he had absolutely no idea how to go further without ruining their friendship. When the management stepped in, he had no other options than to fire him and the expression in his eyes was one of defiance and cockiness he had never seen before.

“As if you would survive a day without me”, Jordan sneered, before collecting his jacket and leaving the room.

Giovanni took his phone out of his jacket, hoping Nicola would be awake and willing to listen to him vent.

Aquaria, 00:23 am: I am currently sitting on the staircase outside and all I can think about is how many friendships I’ve fucked up. It’s making me slowly insane and paranoid and so unsure of myself it is almost disgusting. I don’t recognise this part of me and it scares me, I don’t know how to react to Maxwell’s messages or to Jordan’s rage and it is making me go crazy.

He sent the message without checking the name of the receiver. Needless to say, just because karma and faith every once in a while love to play tricks on people, he sent it to Maxwell instead without realizing the mistake he made.

He locked the screen, finished his joint and headed to the bathroom to have a shower, blissfully unaware of what just happened.

***

Maxwell’s phone vibrated, making the man jump slightly.

“Everything allright, Cracks?”, Kevin asked, before looking at him quizzically.

The other man nodded.

“It’s just my phone, Kathelyn must have gotten home or something”, he replied, before taking his phone out of his pocket.

The message he got was definitely not from Kathelyn.

Aquaria, 00:23 am: I am currently sitting on the staircase outside and all I can think about is how many friendships I’ve fucked up. It’s making me slowly insane and paranoid and so unsure of myself it is almost disgusting. I don’t recognise this part of me and it scares me, I don’t know how to react to Maxwell’s messages or to Jordan’s rage and it is making me go crazy.

Needless to say, the man barely managed to whisper a confused: “What…?”, before signalling to his best friend to join him on the balcony.

Once the door behind them was closed, much to Yuhua and Dustin’s disappointment, the younger man was presented with the other one’s phone.

“What is happening, Max?”, he then asked.

“Read it”, Maxwell said, sighing.

Kevin read everything twice, before looking at his friend with concern in his eyes.

“I reckon it wasn’t for me either”, he then commented, trying to lighten up the mood and failing miserably at it.

Max sat on the floor, before closing his eyes and murmuring: “What should I do?”.

The other one shrugged, before joining him on the floor and giving him his phone back.

“Well, now at least you know he’s not mad or something…”, he murmured, trying to sound comforting, “I’ll see him tomorrow and maybe I can try…”.

“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea”, the other one interrupted him, “I don’t want him to feel trapped or some shit”.

Kevin nodded.

“Yeah, it makes sense”, he mumbled, before getting up: “Let’s go and see what the others are doing. I will keep you posted tomorrow, okay?”.

Maxwell nodded, then he got up as well and squeezed his friend’s hand.

“Thank you”.

[artificialqueens]

we break but we're not broken (craquaria) - dis_connected

AN: Aquaria cares far too much for her friends.

Inspired by this prompt from happylilprompts on tumblr: Person A has had a crush on Person B, literal sunshine that gets top grades, for years. Recently B smiles and studies less, and is even skipping class. A’s the only one who pays close enough attention to see something is seriously wrong au

Read on ao3

Aquaria has given up with school. Well, she gave up with school not long after she started school. But, still, officially now, all she’s doing is focusing on trying to get into the Fashion Institute of Technology, which has been her only dream since she tried on her first pair of her mom’s heels as a kid, and now she’s just trying to keep all her grades at a C so she can successfully scrape by high school and leave it all behind for good.  

Meanwhile, a friend of hers, Brianna, is a model pupil. Aquaria has sat behind her in both History and French since freshman year, watching the way she flicks her blonde hair over her shoulder, how her head tilts back when she’s laughing and her confidence when talking in class in comparison to Aquaria’s stumbling awkwardness. Not that it’s a big deal that she watches her. She’s just hard to miss, with her big personality and even bigger hair, and you know, she’s right there, what else is she supposed to look at?

Brianna is popular amongst the students, like Aquaria, but, drastically opposite to Aquaria, she’s also loved by all of her teachers, thanks to her general friendliness and attitude to study hard in all her subjects. Brianna has truly excelled in high school. As their four years come to a close, she’s on track to go to a great college and have a great future, whereas Aquaria can hardly wait to get out of this hellhole and finally make a name for herself in fashion.

But, leaving behind high school means leaving her friends, and, unfortunately, that includes leaving behind Brianna. And the back of her head. Which is nice. The big, curly hair that the blonde does when she has a bit more time is Aquaria’s favourite, by far. She remembers vividly the day that she did it for the first time.

It’s a Monday. Aquaria spent the weekend in isolation from the outside world, trying to put together some looks for her portfolio, which she has changed and altered a million times, at least. Just last night, she redrew and redesigned a whole outfit she was obsessed with the week before, meaning she was up until the early hours of the morning furiously scribbling, sketching and sewing until her fingers were red raw.

Now, she’s sitting in her assigned seat at the back of Madame Dupont’s class as it starts, her pen tapping on her desk and her eyelids starting to droop already. Concentrating on the boring lectures on the imperfect subjunctive is hard enough as it is, without the added bonus of just two hours sleep. Aquaria is so tired that she hasn’t noticed that Brianna isn’t already sitting in front of her until she walks in, five minutes late, shooting an apologetic smile to the teacher and the usual grin to Aquaria, and hurriedly making her way to seat, the second row from the back.

“Bonne matin, mademoiselle, et qu’est-ce que la raison que vous êtes si tard?” Madame Dupont demands before she has the chance to sit down, even though the lesson has barely begun.

“Je suis desolée, Madame,” Brianna mumbles, her flawless accent still clear as she sits down and starts to pull out her things.

Aquaria is shocked. Brianna has never been late to class before, especially not French. Normally, she has to drag Aquaria by the arm so they’re on time, or she’s already there by the time the other girl decides to finally trudge into the room at the last possible, looking eager for whatever boring grammar shit they’ll be looking at.

“Et pouvez-vous conjuguer le verbe faire au conditionnel pour la classe?” The teacher continues. Brianna does so, perfectly of course, but she seems tired to Aquaria, who stares at the back of her friend’s head with worry.

Obviously, she’s just looking out for her friend, as she would any of them. Aquaria knows that Monét threw a party that she had to decline thanks to her portfolio work, and Brianna most likely went to it, or slept through her alarm, or would rather not be here, which is fair enough, but she still can’t help but worry.

Aquaria almost has to slap herself, as Madame Dupont starts to drone on about when to use the imperfect subjunctive (which is never in real life. Seriously who needs this?). She tells herself that she’s just looking for something to think about in this dull, dull class, and Brianna being late and tired has literally zero significance. People are allowed to be late sometimes, even Brianna. So, she just watches her as she twirls her hair round her finger, hair that she’s just shoved up in a ponytail without even brushing it. Not that she doesn’t look nice, still, annoyingly.

The class manages to end with no incident, and thankfully Aquaria is one of the few not called on for Madame Dupont’s never ending questions, because she wouldn’t have had a single clue what the hell to answer. She never really does.

She’s packing up to go at the end, grumbling to herself, when Brianna turns around, like she normally does to catch up with her friend after class, but today a frown is furrowing her features, as she looks right at the other girl, who does a slight double take at her unusually sad demeanour.

“Hey, Aqua,” Brianna says, slinging her bag over her shoulder and leaning forward on her friend’s desk.

“Hi, Bri, how was Monét’s?” Aquaria asks casually, trying to pretend that she isn’t worried as she shoves her notebook in her own bag carelessly, too tired to give a shit about the state of it.

“Oh, I dunno, I didn’t go,” Brianna seems uninterested. “Do we have history today?”

“Um, no, not until third tomorrow,” Aquaria replies, a little shocked at the unusual bluntness from her friend.

Okay, something’s definitely wrong. Brianna knows her timetable off by heart, she always has done. Aquaria tries not to think too much of it, but it stays on her mind the whole day. She’s ferociously munching her salad at lunch, sat with her friends on their regular table and staring into space as they talk about what happened at the party she didn’t go to.

Brianna is strangely absent; usually she’s the heart of the table, always cracking the jokes and puns and causing their table to be the nosiest in the cafeteria, but today, though the noise of the girls screaming about the party is extremely prominent, one voice is missing. Well, two, but Aquaria’s quietness is never that unusual. Nobody else has commented on the lack of Brianna, which annoys Aquaria slightly, but also makes her think she’s kind of making a big deal out of nothing.

She notices after a while a drop in chatter and a shift in atmosphere and looks up at everyone.

They’re all looking at their friend aggressively stabbing a poor lettuce leaf with her fork like she has a personal vendetta against it, concern and amusement etched across their faces.

“Um, Q, are you planning on eating you salad, or murdering it?” Blair, Aquaria’s best friend, asks her, laughing slightly.

“Sorry,” she mumbles in reply simply, rolling her eyes as the focus remains on her.

“What’s eating you, bitch? Your portfolio?” Vixen, the most blunt and unabashed of the group, asks. Everyone knows the stress that Aquaria has put herself under; her whole life has basically boiled down to this portfolio that is supposed to showcase who she is as a person, and, more importantly, a designer. To say there has been tears shed would be saying the least.

Aquaria puts down her fork and pushes her salad away, no longer hungry. “I’m bored. You’re all boring,” she jokes, rolling her eyes again.

“Well, sorry you’re too focused on your career to come to the best party of senior year,” Monet cheers.

“Actually, bitch,” argues Asia. “The best party of senior year was definitely my pool party right before school started!”

“Hah, that was before school started so it was technically it was a summerparty and not in senior year, so I win!” Monét laughs back loudly.

Aquaria stops listening. This argument is a regular occurrence between Asia and Monét, who constantly keep a friendly competition with each other. Their group has a specific dynamic, especially as they happen to be the most popular girls in the school, not that Aquaria really cares that much. She’s definitely not a people person.

Each girl in the group seems to have a specific, unspoken role and dynamic, and somehow they all create a powerful sort of clique. There’s no room for anyone else, not that Vixen would let them in anyway, unless they proved themselves to her, a task which few have ever succeeded at.

Which is why Aquaria notices so much when someone is missing, it doesn’t matter who. Just because it’s Brianna now that she’s worrying about, doesn’t mean that if, say, Kameron was acting differently next week she wouldn’t be just as worried about her. Aquaria cares about her friends, so what?

So what?

The week continues in pretty much the same way as Monday. Aquaria picks up on the subtle differences in Brianna, including her lateness to most of her classes, and her lack of makeup. To most people, it’s not a big deal at all, and she could blame it on the stress of nearing the end of the year. In fact, that’s what it would look like to any other person but Aquaria, especially the rest of their friendship group which have failed to notice the shift in Brianna’s behaviour.

God, she is going insane. She starts to drive herself crazy, overanalysing Brianna’s every move, from the back of her head in class, which is unusually slumped and bent over, to her weak attempts at jokes and uncharacteristic quietness at lunchtime, to the bluntness of their normally flowing conversation. It’s ridiculous, and distracting. Especially because none of their other friends have mentioned anything, at least not to Aquaria, and she really doesn’t want to bring anything up for fear of looking like a total idiot.

The worry is crippling to Aquaria, as though somebody is repeatedly whacking her over the head with a huge stick. Every time she tries to forget about it, bam and it’s back. She knows it’s ridiculous, and she blames her own stress. Her mind is clearly looking for something to do, bored to death of her sewing, sketching and designing the same pieces over and over again. It’s insanity. Complete and utter insanity.

But on Thursday, her insanity is justified, just slightly; after the class get a test back in History and Aquaria peers over to see she did better than Brianna, she can tell it’s with due reason. Brianna studies hard. Brianna puts school before everything. Brianna never gets below a B. In anything. And here she is with a C-, not even looking that fazed by it.

It’s like she’s given up. It’s eating away at Aquaria’s brain, so much so that she starts to design a new garment inspired by melting flesh and a revealed skull, and then hates it and screws it all up again. She wants to know why, without having to ask her. Confrontation is not her strong suit, especially when she could be completely wrong.

She’s hanging out at Blair’s house on Thursday night, an excuse to use her mom’s sewing machine, which is a million times better than her own, to test out some material she found that she wants to work with, but it keeps going wrong.

Aquaria is a good seamstress. She prides herself on it, in fact. It’s her thing. But after she fucks up the hem for the millionth time, she screams and rips apart her fabric, throwing it in the air in the most dramatic fashion ever.

Blair looks up from her laptop, where she’s trying to complete some homework, concern and worry etched onto her face as she witnesses her best friend’s outburst.

“Um, are you okay?” she asks, knowing that Aquaria is someone that tends to bottle up her emotions, not scream and throw things.

“I’m just stressed about this whole portfolio shit, I need it to be perfect,” Aquaria lies, rubbing her forehead aggressively.

“Lie,” says Blair nonchalantly, closing her laptop lid and moving to sit beside her best friend, who is trying desperately to stop her eyes from watering.

“Excuse me?” Aquaria says timidly, not looking her friend as she blinks furiously down at the sewing machine.

“You’ve been stressed about this for months. And when you’re stressed you turn it out, not fuck it up. Something else is on your mind and you’re telling me what it is right now,” Blair demands.

“You’ll think I’m stupid.”

“If it’s got you this worked up, it can’t be stupid. Spill! Spill!” Blair starts chanting and it almost puts a smile on Aquaria’s face, who pushes her friend playfully to get her to shut up.

“Okay, fine, Jesus. I’m just worried about a friend of ours who I think there’s something wrong with. She’s just acting really weird and I’m wondering if she’s okay,” she mumbles, trying to play it off as no big deal, which it probably isn’t.

“Who is this?” There’s a long pause whilst Aquaria stares down at her manicured nails in shame. “Aquaria, who?”

“Brianna.”

“Oh for god’s – you can’t let her ruin this for you. I know you’re obsessed with her-”

“Woah, woah, wait a minute, I am not obsessed with her. She got a C- today, B,” Aquaria says dramatically, like that’s supposed to clear everything up. Blair seems unbothered.

“So what?”

“So what?” Aquaria repeats in disbelief, annoyed at the lack of reaction. “This is Brianna. She always gets A’s.”

“Q, I love you, but I don’t think that Brianna getting a C- on one test should be the focus of you little brain right now,” Blair says, gesturing to Aquaria’s sketches that are now littering her room, along with the torn bit of fabric. “Have you even talked to her about it?”

“Well, no, but she’s not really given me much of a chance. We’re not exactly super close anymore, are we?” Aquaria feels her throat close up a little, before shaking her head, her friend giving her a pitying look.

“If it stops you worrying, just grab her after class and ask her if she’s okay. It’s really not hard, babe, it’s just being a good friend, and I’ll bet she’ll be happy to know you’re thinking of her.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to her,” Aquaria mumbles, choosing to ignore the last statement, knowing it probably won’t help, especially as she’s the fucking worst at giving advice.

“Okay?” Blair asks, receiving a reluctant nod in reply from her friend, who picks up her material from the floor in shame.

Aquaria knows how she feels about Brianna isn’t just friendly. She does. Blair might be her best friend, and Monét might be Brianna’s, but they’ve known each other a long time, longer than any of the other girls in their friendship group.

Aquaria recalls the day they met, almost ten years ago. She was always left out and picked on by the other kids; they thought she was way too weird and stupid, always laughing at the things she said and how she acted, which is a huge deal when you’re eight. Aquaria hated them all, and hated school. And then, a new girl moved to Aquaria’s town, and started at the school.

She had the biggest, kindest brown eyes that Aquaria had ever seen, and made it her mission to befriend the quirky girl who preferred to be alone. She sat down next to her whilst all the other kids went out to play, and handed her half her sandwich without a second word.

And that was that.

And then they grew back apart again, after a night which left Aquaria in tears, and unable to look her former best friend in the eye for months. They remained friends, tied together by mutual friends and mutual classes, but it’s nothing like it used to be.

So they’re not the closest of friends, not anymore, but conversation still comes naturally and easily, they can laugh together without it being awkward, and pick up wherever they left off. Aquaria’s quite an awkward person, but Brianna feels like someone who will never judge or ridicule her, who she can always come to for any sort of advice.

Feelings have been brewing under the surface for Aquaria for years now, of course she knows that, she’s just been pretending they’re not there, because a harmless crush is pointless when Brianna has no interest in her in the slightest. Her act of indifference has most people convinced, everyone except for Blair, who can see right through the paper-thin charade and has been teasing her best friend about it ever since.

Aquaria tries not to care. She can admire Brianna in class and be her friend the rest of the time. It’s not that hard, really. It’s not.

Aquaria has French the period before lunch on Friday, so she plans on grabbing Brianna after the class so they can have some time to talk. Her plan, however, is foiled when the blonde doesn’t even show up.

Aquaria spends the whole class sick with worry, unable to concentrate on her work, her nails tapping the surface of the desk rapidly, staring at the door and expecting her friend’s face to poke round it at any second, an apologetic smile pulling at her plump lips. Her mind is in overdrive, and it feels like everything is going off track.

As soon as class is over, she starts to walk to lunch slowly, pulling out her phone and calling her friend once, twice, three times with no reply. Aquaria rakes her hand through her black hair, almost clawing at her scalp.

She needs to calm down. Brianna is probably sick, and that’s why she’s off school, and sleeping, and that’s why her phone is left unanswered. Something in the back of Aquaria’s mind is still buzzing, however, drowning out her attempts to reassure herself and filling her mind with anxiety, like the sea pulling her under on a stormy day.

So, she bypasses the cafeteria and heads instead straight to her locker. Aquaria takes a second to linger over the polaroids decorating the inside of the door, adorned with stickers and hearts drawn sloppily in black sharpie. They’re mostly of herself and Blair, though it’s closely followed by some of her favourites of her and Brianna throughout their ten years of up-and-down friendship, as well as the other girls that Aquaria is friends with, group selfies and candid shots from parties and movie nights. Her eyes stop on a picture the summer before she started high school, of her and Brianna lounging by a pool, goofy grins on their faces, their bodies clad in bikinis. They had been so excited, buzzing with nervous energy about the adventures of high school that were to come.

Aquaria shakes her head and grabs her gym bag, slamming her locker shut and cutting off her thoughts of a simpler time, before she realised what a hellhole this place actually is, and what the hell it did to her friendship.

She storms through school like a lady on a mission. No matter what, Aquaria can always calm herself down through a vigorous dance session, pushing her body to the limit until she’s drenched in sweat and her only thought is of a shower.

She has a free period next, so she changes quickly, shooting a quick text to the group chat to let them know what she’s up to, planning to use all the time she can get to try to push the ridiculous thoughts of Brianna from her mind, at least for a little bit.

The high school is attached to a leisure centre, which the students use themselves in classes, but is open to the general public also, therefore the students have access to private rooms they can use to practise sports, as the public do, considering they pay.

Aquaria makes use of this any time she can, choosing the smaller rooms any time she can to practise her dance in peace.

Aside from a class playing volleyball in the gym, the area is empty as Aquaria walks back to the changing rooms, every single muscle on her whole body screaming out in pain. She loves to push herself or she feels like there’s no point, but today she obliterated the limit, only stopping when her throat screamed for water.

It worked, as well, as she soaks herself in the scolding water of the shower, her mind is taken up by the success of her session and not a certain blonde. As the heat from the water cascades over her body, she lets her mind empty of all thoughts, closing her eyes against the surprisingly decent stream of water and takes her time washing her body, allowing herself to be at peace for a while.

Finally, Aquaria steps out the shower, grabbing a towel to wrap around her glistening body. The changing rooms are empty, therefore she is free to take her time to dry herself with the scratchy material of the towel from her gym bag, not quite ready to face the outside world yet.

She still has half of the period left before the next class starts, so, after redressing and pulling her damp hair into a careless messy bun, she decides to head to the library. Not to do school work, of course, just to flip through the latest issue of Vogue in search for inspiration.

Aquaria is happily walking up to her locker through the deserted hallways of the school, feeling surprisingly refreshed, her usually busy mind feeling almost new again, before it will be undoubtedly hit with a new tidal wave of thoughts. Her locker is up in the music block, as that’s where she has homeroom, and she’s just walking past one of the sound proof practise rooms when she happens to glance inside, through the glass panel in the door, and spots a familiar face, distorted by the glass, but familiar all the same.

Brianna.

She’s sitting at the far end of the tiny room, with her feet propped up on a chair, her head bent over a guitar, and she appears to be singing something. Aquaria inches carefully closer to the door, watching her friend who is oblivious to her presence. She looks so sad.

Brianna has always loved music, Aquaria knows that. She taught herself how to play guitar at a young age, and constantly came up with little melodies and songs that went with them, getting her best friend to chip in on the harmonies once in a while. But, to Aquaria’s knowledge, she hasn’t played in a while. And here she is, when she should probably be in class, strumming her old guitar, distinguishable by the old band stickers that faded a long time ago, and the dent from the time Aquaria dropped in on her wooden floor, by accident

And then Brianna looks up, and spots Aquaria standing in the doorway holding a gym bag and a concerned gaze, and lifts her hand up in a sort of half-hearted wave, getting up and placing the battered guitar down. She goes over to the door where Aquaria is frozen in a sort of silent embarrassment at being caught, and opens it.

“Hi,” Brianna says simply, before walking back into the room and retaking her seat.

Aquaria supposes that this as an invitation, and cautiously enters the room, shutting the door softly behind her, before perching on the piano stool close to where her friend is sitting. She studies her face for a second, all the worry and anxiety that she just worked so hard to get rid of flooding back and smacking her across the head again.

“What are you doing? Are you okay, Bri?”

At least she can finally talk to Brianna, again, and settle the matter for good, but the response from her friend is not at all what she’s expecting, her sad brown eyes lifting up to gaze into her own, her mind clearly occupied by something that has been pressing down on her for a while.

“What happened to me and you?”

It feels like a slap across the face, a cold, hard slap with a wet fish. That’s not even dead. And covered in slime.

“What do you mean?” Aquaria’s mouth feels dry, so she runs her tongue across her lower lip, which helps very little. She knows exactly what she means.

“We used to be best friends, Aqua. We were inseparable. Don’t you remember us sharing everything? I stayed at your house, like, every other night. What the fuck went wrong?” Brianna is angry now, and it takes Aquaria by surprise – it’s a rare emotion in the usually laid back, easy going and happy girl that she used to know so well.

“We’re still friends,” Aquaria mumbles, though it’s a poor attempt at reassurance. Is this what’s been weighing down on Brianna the last week? Surely it can’t be? And yet, a small part of Aquaria’s heart, dedicated to Brianna, lights up in hope that it could be.

“Yeah, great. I can’t remember the last time I was alone with you. When did we last hang out that wasn’t at fucking lunchtime?”

It hurts. It really fucking hurts. Aquaria’s chest feels like it’s closing in on her. Brianna doesn’t remember. She doesn’t remember the fatal night that caused Aquaria to distance herself from Brianna, gradually, slowly, because the more time she spent with her, the more it hurt, like a dagger twisted into her chest, plunging deeper as the days, weeks, months passed. She had to get it out, even if that meant the end of their friendship, which it almost did.

She sure as hell isn’t going to bring it up.

“I know,” she says instead, shaking her head, hoping that the hurt she feels hasn’t seeped into her voice. “You know I still care about you. Which is why I want to know what’s been going on with you?”

“Don’t change the subject!” Brianna groans, clearly uncomfortable at what she knows Aquaria is about to bring up.

“Bri, you got a C and didn’t even care. You missed French, and you’re in here in a free period! I’m not crazy, something is the matter,” Aquaria says, mostly to reassure herself. There’s a long pause, as Brianna appears to be thinking something over, painfully slowly. Aquaria chews at the inside of her cheek anxiously, enough so that the metallic taste of her own blood seeps into her mouth

“Well, okay,” Brianna says, at last, looking up at Aquaria with a small, sad smile on her face. “Maybe you can help me. I could use your advice.”

“You know I’m shit at advice. You do know I’m shit at advice?” Aquaria says. If Brianna remembered who she was at all she would know that, but the girl just shakes her head, looking at Aquaria as if she holds a cure for all her troubles.

“I think you’re my best bet, right now.”

There’s something about this statement that makes Aquaria extremely nervous, the worry now pounding through her mind, amplified to a million times to what it was before, but how the hell can she refuse now?

“Um, okay, I’ll try my best.”

“I’ve been, sort of, realising some things about myself recently.”

“Things?”

There’s a long, painful, drawn out pause. Brianna can’t even look at Aquaria, who’s staring at her so intensely she might possibly be about to burn a hole through her skull.

“Like, maybe I’m not actually straight?”

Oh. That was not what Aquaria was expecting, at all. She almost chokes on air, trying her best to maintain a neutral disposition as she nods encouragingly, willing Brianna to continue as her mind starts whirring at a million miles an hour. Is this about her? Can she possibly dare to hope that it is?

“You’re… gay?”

“Maybe, god, I don’t know. I haven’t talked to a single person about this yet.”

God, that feels like old times. A bittersweet wave of nostalgia washes over Aquaria. Sitting up for hours and blurting any random thing that they could ever possibly think of. No secrets, no lies. Come to think of it, Brianna did once say that she had an unexplainable crush on the groovy chick girl that adorned her bedding as a kid.

“I just feel so lost, all of a sudden. I’m eighteen years old and I’m only just figuring out that I like girls?”

“Hey, that’s not that old. People don’t figure it out until college normally.”

Brianna laughs, though it’s painfully bitter, shaking her head in amusement, causing her friend to smile, just slightly.

“See, bad advice! What did I tell you?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about it, like, it’s keeping me up at night. And I have to avoid her, which is where you come in.”

“What?”

“Well, she made me realise I like girls at all. I have a huge, ridiculous crush on her.”

“Who, Bri?”

“Blair.”

And, just like that, the world comes crumbling down.