#I legit only feel relaxed in the shower

[ace-turned-confused]

sea spray | dbf!joel miller x f!reader

joel masterlist

summary: a relaxing weekend break by the sea is just what you need, but spending it under the same roof as joel miller might not be the kind of relaxing you had in mind word count: 3,4k warnings: 18+ only, reader is able-bodied / wears a bikini & a dress / can swim, pet names, unspecified age gap, food & alcohol consumption, smut, m masturbation, oral (f receiving), fingering, squirting, unprotected p in v, spitting, creampie, overstimulation, joel's filthy mouth, praise kink, size kink a/n: i actually did spend the past weekend by the sea, unfortunately without joel miller 😔 written for @mermaidgirl30's Ocean Challenge! of course it took the entire timeframe of your challenge for inspiration to strike, but it was super fun! 🩵 big hugs to @morallyinept for beta'ing & the kind words, your message legit put the biggest grin on my face LMAO ily 💜

Going away with your parents for a long weekend is just what you need — walks along the cliff path, cocktails on the beach, lounging in the sun. Plus the bonus of free accommodation and your meals being paid for. You’re long overdue for a break and this will be a good change of scenery.

The bricks burn through your sandals as you unload your bags. Midday sun blazing down on you, you’re desperate for a cold shower after two hours of traffic to get here.

“Hello?”

You’re met with silence as you push open the front door, a rare breeze coming through the windows. They must’ve gone into town. Kicking off your shoes, you pad through to your room at the back of the house and dump your bags.

You peel your clothes off and run a shower, washing off the sweat and stress of the morning. Unpacking your bags, most of your weekend attire is swimsuits and dresses; you’ll just be floating around the house the rest of the day and decide on a blue and white check bikini, pulling on plain linen shorts.

Making your way upstairs, the rest of the house is still, the only sound coming from slow waves rolling against the rocks. Kelp bobs up and down in the swell and wispy clouds dot the sky, you pull your phone out to snap some pictures to send to your friends, relishing in the tranquillity.

You hear muted footsteps and turn around, expecting to see your parents come up the stairs. Instead, you’re met with Joel Miller — your dad's best friend with nothing but a thin towel hanging low on his hips.

“Oh! Didn’t uh- didn’t hear you come in sweetheart.”

Your eyes flicker down as he adjusts his towel — he clears his throat and you snap your eyes back up to his face.

“I got in about half an hour ago, I just got out of the shower. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Your old man told me to come up for the weekend, he didn’t mention what time they’d be back this afternoon though.”

You nod and turn to look outside again, the image of Joel in his towel now burned into your mind. You don’t ask him about it — no possible explanation would stop your mind from wandering.

You were much younger the last time you saw him — just a sweet girl harbouring an innocent crush on a handsome man. Now you’re far from sweet, and that crush is far from innocent. This is the most you’ve ever seen of him — greying curls in every direction, wide chest into a soft tummy, dark trail of hair below his navel disappearing beneath his towel.

You can feel a wet spot forming on your bikini bottoms — so much for a relaxing weekend.

-

Joel’s seen you in passing and heard about your various achievements and adventures from your parents, but it’s been years since he spent so much time with you in such close quarters. He can’t remember you being so… grown up.

Seeing you stand there in just your bikini, your eyes flitting down to his towel, he almost instantly began to harden. Maybe some light conversation will calm him down.

“So, what you got planned for the rest of the day?”

You turn to face him again and he takes a steadying breath.

“I was gonna head down to the beach but it’s fucking hot out, so I think I’ll just be lazy here instead.”

“Pool’s nice if you’re keen on a swim.”

You slink past to head downstairs, stopping in front of him to look up at him.

“You wanna join me?”

“Think I’ll uh, sit this one out. Don’t worry ‘bout me.”

Scratching at the nape of his neck as you descend the stairs, he’s not sure how he’s going to survive this weekend. He shouldn’t be looking at you like this — you’re young, spritely, his best friend’s daughter — but he watches out the window anyway as you pull down your shorts, glass in hand, and dip down into the water.

He sneaks off to his room before you can notice.

-

Sitting on the edge of the bed with his head tilted to the ceiling, he’s already fully hard. He lets the towel fall open and wraps a hand around his throbbing cock. He shouldn’t do this, but who’s going to know?

Stroking himself with long, slow pumps, he closes his eyes and all he can see is you. Ass peeking out the edge of your bottoms, your tits spilling out your bikini top, so much skin. You sighed as you sat down in the water, a breathy, satiated sound — he wishes he could make those sounds spill from your mouth.

Precome leaking from his tip, he’s reaching his end embarrassingly fast. Speeding up to fist himself tightly, he imagines your hand wrapped around his cock instead. He imagines burying his tongue, fingers, cock into your cunt, tight and wet and his to have however he pleases.

It takes just one, two, three more strokes of his cock and he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, biting back a moan as he comes, spilling milky ropes across his hand and lower stomach. Using the same towel to clean up his mess, he tells himself he won’t do this again, he can’t do this again.

He shifts up to lean against the headboard as he comes down from his high, deciding to stay clear of you until your parents get home. Keeping you out of sight is the best way forward, even if he can’t keep you out of his mind.

-

You spend the rest of the day in the pool, nursing a Long Island iced tea and paging through your book. Joel doesn’t show face again, but it’s for the best — you can’t stop thinking about that damn towel and how easily it could slip down.

Your phone rings and pulls you from your daydreaming; you haul yourself out of the pool and pat yourself dry, fingertips wrinkled from the water. You see it’s your mom calling, and slide to answer.

You don’t get a chance to say hello and she’s bombarding you with questions.

“Hi, sweetie! How was the drive? I hope you didn’t have too much traffic. Oh! And did you see Joel? He’s with us for the weekend, maybe he went out for the day too.”

You certainly did see Joel. You still can even with your eyes closed.

“Hi, Mom. The drive was fine, and Joel’s been here the whole day.”

“That’s nice. I hope you don’t mind, you two always got along well so your father didn’t think to tell you beforehand. Listen, why don’t you and Joel come through to town for dinner with us? I’ll send you the restaurant name.”

“Yeah, okay sure. See you soon.”

“Bye, sweetie. See you.”

She hangs up the phone and you venture inside to find Joel, heading towards the spare room. Pressing your ear to the door, you don’t hear any movement. Maybe he’s sleeping.

“Joel?” You knock on the door and hear rustling, he responds a few moments later.

“Yeah? You can- you can come in.”

You nudge the door open and he’s sitting up in bed, sheets pulled to the same height his towel was hanging earlier and it takes everything you have not to stare, debate if he’s still got that towel on or is stark naked.

Stepping just over the threshold, you lean against the wall to steady yourself and focus your eyes on his face.

“My mom called, she said we must go into town to meet them for dinner. She texted me the address.”

“Sounds good, I can drive us. I’ll just uh, get ready.”

You nod and retreat from his room in silence — you’ll be able to hold a conversation once he’s fully clothed.

-

Tonight’s restaurant is right along the shoreline, carved into the cliffside. It’s a good climb down the hillside and you’re glad you’re wearing flats, mentally noting to go easy on the drinks tonight to make it back up again. Gentle waves lap against the rocks and the sea breeze is just the refresher you need after a hot summer day.

You’ve changed into a strappy dress, the hemline falling just above your knees and Joel’s in a loose button-down and board shorts. Your parents are sitting across from you, and they’d spent the better part of an hour asking you about work and romantic prospects.

Once satisfied with your answers, they turn to focus on each other, leaving you and Joel to your own devices. With them both engrossed in conversation, you try and test the waters.

You shift your legs under the table and bump your knee into Joel’s — his hand falters as he scoops more food onto his spoon, but doesn’t pull away. You push further, pressing your thigh against his and he stills completely, peering at you out of the corner of his eye.

The unfortunate combination of the summer heat and your heavy hand when pouring your drink earlier has made you fearless. You snake a hand below the table, resting it dangerously close to the growing bulge in his shorts.

He drops his spoon, catching your dad’s attention.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, uh… Yeah, fine.” He swallows and gives them a tight smile, waiting for them to continue their conversation.

“What the hell are you doin’?” Joel practically hisses at you under his breath, eyes flashing in your direction.

You ignore him and flatten your hand, unsure if the heat you can feel is radiating from him or yourself. You continue moving upwards, the tips of your fingers brushing against the outline of his cock.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” You whisper back to him, unmoving in your chair.

You start palming him through his shorts, angling your head to look at him and a fresh wave of arousal floods your panties.

“Sweetheart, you can’t be doin’ this. Not here.”

“Say stop and I will.”

His eyes flutter closed, taking in a shaky breath. It feels like he’s already fully hard.

Just when you think you’ve won, your parents stand up and you rip your hand away, heart racing in your chest. Caught up in your teasing you hadn’t noticed they’d finished dessert and paid the bill. You look at your dad with wide eyes, hoping nobody saw anything.

“Nice dinner, everyone. Good to have you here, kiddo. We’ll see you back at the house, been a long day.”

“Um, yeah, we’ll follow you guys.” You hope you sound less startled than you feel. 

He rounds the table, a hand coming down on your and Joel’s shoulders and he walks off. You and Joel stand to follow him — your mind foggy with lust, you can feel his eyes burn into you, but you don’t dare look at him.

-

Arriving home after a charged car ride with Joel, your parents say goodnight and their door shuts behind them. The room falls silent, you’re unsure who will make the first move. Joel grabs onto your arm, dragging you through the house.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me now, sweetheart. You’re gonna finish what you started.”

He pulls your dress over your head, leaving you in just your bra and panties. Pushing you onto your bed, his eyes trail up and down your figure as you lie before him.

“What were you doing all afternoon? Didn’t see you at all.”

“You wanna know what I was doing?”

You nod and he leans down to speak into your ear, voice low and raspy.

“I was thinkin’ of you, baby. That skimpy little bikini of yours got me all hard, so instead of spendin’ my time out by the beach, I was jacking off in my room and all I could think of was you.”

A shiver runs down your spine, a small whine escaping at his words.

“Thought a lotta things about how you’d be, now we’re gonna see how much of it is true.”

He pushes you down to lie on your back, pulling your panties down. You try to cross your legs out of habit and he grabs your knees, spreading you open before him.

“Now we’re shy, are we? Don’t want me seeing this pretty pussy?”

He cups you entirely and you tilt your hips, chasing the friction of his palm against your clit.

“After that little game you played just now, you’re gonna take what I give you, and you’re gonna enjoy it.”

He wraps his arms under your legs, dragging you to the edge of the bed and drops to his knees, draping one leg over each of his shoulders. You look down at him and he stares into your eyes, flattening his tongue against you and licking a broad stripe up through your folds. He sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue swirling in tight circles and your head falls back against the bed.

“Oh, fuck, Joel.”

He chuckles into you, causing you to moan again.

“Better than the boys you normally go out with?”

He doesn’t give you time to answer, tongue circling your clit again and he drags his fingers up and down, coating them in your arousal. Pushing two fingers into your cunt, the stretch is already far more than with your own — you’re not sure how you’ll ever satisfy yourself after this.

He pumps his fingers in and out, in and out, curling them upwards and you feel heat spreading across your abdomen, your legs just beginning to tremble. You move your hands into his hair, tugging on his curls and he groans against you, speeding up his movements.

“You gonna come for me?”

“Please, Joel. Oh, god, please.”

“Go on then, come. I know you can.”

You tighten your grip on his hair, legs going stiff as you come on his fingers and his movements don’t stop, tongue flicking back and forth over your clit, fingers fucking into you relentlessly to drag out your high. With no chance to recover, he pushes a third finger into you, his pace never faltering.

“Joel, please. It’s too much.”

He pulls off from you just enough to speak, a devilish grin on his face.

“Say stop and I will. I told you you were gonna take what I gave you.”

Mouth latching onto you again, he ignores your protesting, eyes boring into your own. You can see him rutting into the side of the bed and your moans turn into whines and whimpers, the heat pooling at the base of your spine more intense than before.

“Come on, sweetheart, be a good girl for me.”

Pushing his free hand down onto you, he curls his fingers inside of you, grazing over that one spongy spot and your vision blurs. You dig your heels into his back, hips lifting off the bed as you come again, a warm stream of liquid soaking his beard that’s scratching at your inner thighs.

Chest heaving as you come down, he pulls his fingers out and sucks one into his mouth, licking it clean.

“Better than I imagined.”

He leans over you, shoving his other two sticky fingers into your mouth and you whine at tasting yourself on him.

“All that messing around and look where it got you.”

He unbuttons his shirt agonisingly slowly, a smirk spreading across his face. His eyes are blown wide, beard slick with your release as he trails his fingertips up and down your leg, the small hairs standing in his wake. You close your legs and flop back onto the bed, already feeling spent.

“Just one more thing I needa see for myself.”

Finally pulling his shorts down, that tantalising trail of hair you saw this morning spreads into wiry curls surrounding the base of his cock. He’s bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with, fully stiff as he takes himself in his hand with long strokes — thick, throbbing, and precome pearling from his tip.

“Are you gonna fuck my mouth?”

He draws circles into your leg, still stroking himself.

“Not this time. Wanna feel how tight this pussy’s gonna squeeze my cock.”

Not this time. You clench around nothing in anticipation, and he starts crawling up the bed to you.

“Be good and maybe we can use that mouth of yours another day.”

Propping yourself up on your elbows, Joel drags himself through your wetness, nudging the tip of his cock against your clit.

“Gonna be a tight fit, sweetheart. Might just ruin this cunt for anyone else.”

He lines himself up with your entrance, both of your eyes locked on where you join. Pushing in just past his tip, your mouth falls open with a strangled moan.

“Warned you. Feels good, doesn’t it?” All you do is whimper in response.

“Gonna feel even better.”

He sheaths himself completely inside of you, hair at his base pressed against your clit and balls pressed against your ass. It’s the most stretched out you’ve ever been — it’s also the best you’ve ever felt and he hasn’t even started moving.

He leans over you and starts grinding his hips, pulling your bra down. Pinching a hardened nipple between his fingers, he takes the other into his mouth, swirling his tongue just the same as before.

You lock your ankles behind his back, legs wrapped around his waist and arms wrapped around his neck, holding onto him as if you’d float away. He lifts his head, a trail of spit connecting his lips to your breast. Bringing a hand up to your face, he squeezes your cheeks to force your mouth open, looking into your eyes as he spits into the back of your throat.

You moan quietly, clenching around his length and he huffs a laugh, shaking his head.

“Dirty girl. You let other boys spit into your mouth, too?”

You shake your head clumsily and tighten your legs, trying your hardest to grind yourself against him.

“What’s wrong, baby? What happened to it’s too much?”

He straightens up and pries your legs off him, pressing them into your chest. His eyes are dark as he watches how you squirm and stretch around him. He angles his head forward, letting another string of saliva fall from his mouth onto your cunt and it drips down around his cock.

Using two fingers, he puts slight pressure on your clit but doesn’t move.

“You’re gonna come on my cock, and then I’m gonna come inside you. Understand?”

You’re not sure how to string words together on your own accord anymore, clit throbbing and cunt stretched out, mind filled with just Joel.

“Hey, repeat after me, come on: I’m gonna be a good girl.”

“I’m gonna be a… a good girl.”

“Next: I’m gonna come on your big cock.”

“I’m gonna come- on your big cock.”

“And to finish off: You’re gonna come inside me.”

“You’re… gonna come inside me.”

“Was that so difficult?”

He readjusts his grip on your legs and starts pounding into you, the force of his thrusts shifting you up and down, your clit rubbing against his steady fingers. Your moans are only broken by the need for more air, your voice becoming hoarse and getting higher and higher in pitch as he keeps going harder.

You start clamping down on him, the day’s heat and your teasing and the way he’s using you relentlessly quickly becoming too much.

“Come on, sweetheart. You’ve been such a good girl. Come one last time for me and I’ll fill you up.”

His words push you over the edge and he keeps fucking into you as you come. You reach down to hold onto him, your hands wrapping around his arm and you dig your nails into his skin, carving out crescent moons.

Through the ringing in your ears, you can hear him grunting, his resolve finally breaking after a few more thrusts as he spills inside of you, your walls coated in his spend as the warmth spreads throughout your body. He loosens his hold on your legs, bringing them down and massages your tired muscles.

Pulling out of you, you feel his come slowly leak out and down your folds, landing in thick droplets on the sheets. You turn onto your side, sleep already creeping up on you and he drops down behind you, his chest pressed against your back and softening cock against your ass.

“We’re going to the beach tomorrow, and I wanna see what other little outfits you got with you. Try another game like you did tonight, though, and I’m gonna have to put you in your place again.”

You huff a laugh, a gentle, satisfied smile on your face. This long weekend is suddenly far more exciting than you prepared for.

comments & reblogs are hugely appreciated, forehead kisses to all 💜

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[atl4ntxc]

“ 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐬 𝐭ú . ”

— how they confess.

RIDDLE ROSEHEART will make sure everything goes perfectly. this is his big day! he wants to impress you, he wants to see your awed face. he is willing to collar anybody that dares to go against his plan. nothing will ruin it, this is his moment. first, he would invite you to an unbirthday tea party, just you and him. then, he would spend the whole evening with you before gulping down his anxiety and confessing. “i’m in love with you, prefect.”

baking will always be TREY CLOVER’S speciality. he goes along the flow, waiting to get signals from you. how does he confess? he confessed by leaving a box of homemade truffles on your bed, a sticky note attached to it. “i like you, [name]. be mine? yes or no?” you couldn’t help but swoon, a delicate hue decorating your face. you took out your phone and ticked ‘yes’ on the paper, sending a picture of the truffles and note you received with the answer.

CATER DIAMOND confesses through text. although he feels like it’s one-sided, he couldn’t help but notice the mixed signals you give him. do you like him or not?! so one day, he texted you out of the blue “i like you! no— i love you!”. you just got out of the shower and was drying your hair before receiving a notification from cater. a soft smile appeared on your lips as you texted back at him, “i love you too. where do you want to meet up? <3 :)”

it’ll take a millenia to get ACE TRAPPOLA to admit his feelings for you. nah, he likes you, but not like that. right? he is so stubborn. literally everybody can see the way he flutters his eyelashes at you 🙄 though one fateful night, the both of you were stargazing— you rambling your thoughts away. “i like to travel” “i like you.” silence overlapped the atmosphere before you looked at him, confused. “you like me?” he realized he couldn’t sugarcoat it anymore. “you’re an idiot— of course i like you. you’re so smart yet so dumb AND dense!”

DEUCE SPADE is so conflicted. should he confess or should he not? what happens if he ruins your friendship? agh, it’s so frustrating! he just wants to hold your face and kiss every part of your features! why must you be so complicated? he asks his mother, now this is where it led him. deuce at your doorstep, holding a bouquet of flowers while wearing a suit with his hair slicked back and a nervous smile. “deuce?” you stared at him then at the flowers. “[name], i like— no, i love you a lot! will you go out with me?” he trembles.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR is too lazy to set up a whole ass plan for this. yeah, he likes you, he admits— but he’s just gonna go with the flow, relaxing while letting fate do this for him. it’s obvious to everyone that this lion has the feels for you— i mean... he only uses you (and only you) as a pillow, cuddle buddy AND he lets you scratch his ears?? fuck yeah he likes u. if you haven’t taken the hint, you’re either really dense or really dumb. “leona, do you like me?” he snuggles into your shoulder and growls. “you just noticed?”

RUGGIE BUCCHI honestly doesn’t know what to do. i mean... he does like you, but he doesn’t know how to approach you. screw that, he’s 100% sure he’s in love with you. he isn’t an expert in the romance field, what do you expect? so, there’s only one way he confesses. asking you out on a date when he thought he was gonna die during leona’s overblot :D isn’t that so romantic? “hey prefect, if we survive this, wanna go out?” “ruggie what the fuck”

what the hell is that. JACK HOWL is the dense one here, not you. yes, his heart beats at an abnormal pace whenever you’re near, yes he misses you whenever you are not near him but nah, he thinks that it’s normal for friends to feel that way. this fr made epel hit his head and tell him that no, it is not friendship. that’s legit a crush!! now that’s when he realized he likes you. yeah once he realizes he just goes up to you and says “prefect, i like you”

AZUL ASHENGROTTO plans literally everything out. unlike riddle, his doesn’t go as plan. everything went wrong and he is about to lose his absolute shit. why must he be so unlucky? jade is putting his hand on floyd’s mouth so he doesn’t burst out laughing. just as he was about to ask you to meet him, the first years dragged you away to create another batch of chaos that are legit nightmare fuel. now at the end of the day, he’s sick of everything and with a fake smile, drags you away from these goons you call friends. “this took me all day. i will not let them steal you away this time. i like you, prefect.”

the moment JADE LEECH realizes his feelings for you, his eyes would never leave your form. it becomes a whole ass mission to find out whether you like him back or not, and it wasn’t difficult for him to decipher your feelings. oh dear, what’s this? you’re getting flustered over simple things that he does. this truly amuses him, and he enjoys every second of it. he holds your hand and gave a gentle kiss on top of it, a teasing grin on his face. “prefect, would you be mine?” JADE>>>>

FLOYD LEECH is a pain in the ass. once he realizes that he’s in love with you, he’s glued to your hip 24/7, it’s not even funny. he always say “i love you”. those words are always leaving his mouth. you might take it as a joke, but he is not joking at all. now, on a particular day, he wasn’t feeling it. so you know what he did? “floyd?” he kabedon’d you. “listen, shrimpy! i’m sick of you thinking that everything’s a joke! do you want me to squeeze you as hard as i can so that you know that i’m in love with you?”

KALIM AL-ASIM is trying his best, okay? jamil was the one who made him realize that he was in fact, in love with you. when found out, he was dying to tell you his feelings. so, the only solution to that is *drum roll* confessing his undying feelings for you! now how did he confess? inviting you on a carpet ride (pretty cliché, but i agree w/ the fandom) and showing you the true beauty of this world. that moment he realized, nothing could compare to your beauty. “i love you, prefect! i’m falling harder each day!”

love who? yeah, JAMIL VIPER is not confident enough to confess. he believes that you deserve someone better, someone like kalim, not a servant like him. although you like him a lot and he is aware, he couldn’t bring himself to confess. i strongly believe that jamil would try to make you hate him so that you wouldn’t get hurt by him. during his overblot, he banished everyone from scarabia except for you— who he kept by his side. that is when you found out what he actually felt for you. “don’t you dare leave me. i have fallen for you, and you will stay by my side forever— i’ll make sure of it.”

now, VIL SCHOENHEIT couldn’t believe that he would fall for a rotten potato like you! what spell did you cast on him, oh dear prefect? you’ve got him wrapped around your finger like a thread. he is definitely one of the romantic types, preferring to confess face to face. “potato, i can’t help but notice how wonderful you look today.” thanks for calling me a potato, vil. it’s highly unlikely for him to confess, so you’re gonna confess first. then, he would ask you to meet him at pomefiore, he told you to ‘dress nicely’. “finally arrived, prefect? i’ve made reservations, just you and me.”

ROOK HUNT is folding for you. he would appear during the most random times, confessing his undying love for you through poems. “oh, mon trésor—” “rook we are literally about to die” honestly, everyone questions your sanity. he follows you everywhere, sometimes it gets on your nerves. so one day, while sitting under a tree, an arrow was shot right beside you. “I love you, mon trésor. will you do the honours of being mine?” you could only stare at the paper in your hands. what’s your answer, prefect?

believe it or not, EPEL FELMIER would rather dive off a cliff than admit that he wrote love letters for you. love letters? haha what’s that? he’s so in love with you, i’m not joking. he definitely imagine scenarios of him protecting you (prove me wrong LOL). although he is very nervous to confess to you, he needs to man up for the love of his life! and when he gets in front of you to confess, he wastes no time to tell you what he feels... in great detail. this is honestly a great view, seeing epel all flustered and ready to be teased by you and his friends.

IDIA would be caught dead before confessing to you. nothing, absolutely nothing will make him confess to you. so, you will be the one to confess to this guy. he is too nervous for his own good, and would rather die than go through rejection by his long-time crush, aka you. although ortho knows that you like his brother back, idia can't help but feel his anxiety rise each time he feels like confessing. so he goes nope. i'm good 👍. so the big question is, will YOU confess?

it is clear to everyone that MALLEUS DRACONIA has fallen head over heels for you. just the mere mention of your name has got him smiling and feeling all giddy. the confession happened during a night walk with him, and as usual, he can't help but admire you. “child of man, i have something to say.” you turned to look at him and noticed how gentle he looked at you. "what is it, tsunotarou?" he gently cupped your cheek and confessed his undying love for you. his eyes would glimmer with delight once he finishes.

LILIA VANROUGE prefers traditional ways of confessing. he is an old man after all. he tends to scare you a lot just to show that he cares for you. he literally confessed like this: lilia was upside down when he spooked you. with a grin, he handed you a letter that smelled just like him. it makes you think, did he spray his perfume on this letter or something? the envelope itself was very pleasing to look at, a beautiful colour of beige and rose gold wax seal. open it, prefect! what was contained either made your heart flutter or not.

SILVER prefers simple ways to confess. of course, he asks lilia for help. while he had his head in your lap, you placed a flower crown on his head, making him stir awake. “did i wake you, silver? i’m sorry.” his lips curled into a gentle smile, pleasured to wake up by seeing your face. you could only look at his delicate features that were staring up at you. silver closed his eyes to continue his slumber, but before that, he whispered a delicate “i love you.”

SEBEK ZIGVOLT simply yells out what he feels for you. it was quite an odd scenario, him holding on to your shoulders while his face flushed a red hue. the tips of his ears turned pink as he stared at your face, eyebrows furrowed. “sebek??” he gulped his fears away and took a deep breath before confessing his feelings for you. “human! how dare you make me feel such things? you make my heart flutter at each mention of your name, so tell me— what have you done?”

©atl4ntxc 2023 — any type of plagiarization, copying, stealing, reposting or translating without my permission is forbidden.

[struckd0wn]

Could you make s'more Johnny Sawyer/Slaughter content pls? There's legit zero to none f'him with m/ftm readers, your kinktober fic of'him is the first i've seen in the time span the game's been out /(;^;)\

a/n: I am so sorry I am just now getting to this, I'm also sorry if this is not exactly what you imagined for a fic, I was just thinking off the top of my head lol

Tw: blood and cannibalism

Bath time - Johnny Sawyer

You're covered in deep crimson blood. It drips off of you, seeping into you clothes. It's smeared all over your skin, you face and arms getting the worst of it. You had helped with the weekly dismembering, chopping up bodies the family would eat for dinner. You still refused to eat the flesh of strangers, opting for eggs you'd get from the chickens around the farm.

Johnny comes up from behind you, wrapping his muscular arms around you. "Nice job baby," The taller male whispers into your ear, kissing along the crook of your neck. "Your so hot when you're dripping in blood, you look so badass." Your boyfriend teases, turning you around in his arms so he can meet your eyes. You complain about the mess, annoyed from the strong metallic smell that was starting to give you a headache.

Although Johnny didn't really mind the mess, he didn't know if he wanted to deal with you begin irritated for the rest of the day so he drags you into the house. You're careful to not touch anything once inside, not wanting to dirty anything as you walk up the stairs and to the bathroom.

The bathroom is poorly lit, not extremely clean but it's not to terrible. It's small, Johnny takes up a lot of the space as he undresses, throwing his bloodied clothes all over the floor. You think to scold him, the clothes would surely mess up the floor but you don't say anything, turning your back to the large male as you strip. You hear John shuffle behind you, placing his large hands on the waistband of you jeans, jeans that were actually his. He slides them over you hips, letting them drop the the floor with a soft thud.

His hands roam along you sides and abdomen, fingers further smearing the blood on your soft skin. You want to enjoy his touch but when his bare chest meats you back you can feel the blood on him rub of on you, pushing him of with a gentle jab to his gut with you elbow. You lover laughs playfully, turning the shower on to warm. You cover yourself with the best of your ability, and although you shouldn't be so self-conscious (seeing as Johnny has seen you in such vulnerable states before), you can't help but feel a little insecure in comparison to him.

Johnny has much more muscle mass then you, his chest and back are defined from hard work on the farm. His legs as strong and he shoulders broad. Top surgery had helped your dysphoria a bit but now everytime you look at your boyfriend you felt a bit jealous, or maybe even a yearning. Johnny, of course, was oblivious to this. He was brought up extremely sheltered, only able to get out to hunter for dinner.

Johnny hadn't seen much trans people at all and to be fair he didn't really understand but always respected people regardless. You've tried to explain to him but he just hasn't fully grasped the concept yet, doesn't understand why you'd be jealous of his physique. John thinks you're stunning regardless.

----

The two of you sit in the tub together, deciding after your shower to just relaxe a bit in the bath. The bathtub is small, Johnny has to bend his legs at the knee to fit, you sit in between his legs, leaning against his strong chest. His hand rake through you wet hair, almost sending you to sleep. "Don't fall asleep on me now." A chuckle rumbles through his chest, making the water ripple around you.

Johnny shuffles underneath you, his fingers hold you tight against him. He kisses the nape of your neck, his callused hands kneed the soft flesh of your thighs from under the water. You turn to your side, looking at your boyfriend as he lazily drags his hands all over you. He watches your flustered expression as he caresses you, smirking down at you wildly. The bigger male grabs hold of your waist, turning you so you face him directly.

You struggle to straddling Johnny in the cramped bathtub, but you manage. He pulls you into him, kissing you roughly as the water around you sloshed around. He palms at the flesh of you ass, squeezing it softly. You moan pathetically into his mouth when you feel his erection throb underneath you. John moves a hand off of you ass, bringing it to your front and inbetween the both of you. He runs his fingers through you folds, the sensation of water adding additional wetness to your already leaking cunt. You moan again, only louder, your lover chuckles deeply, pressing another quick kiss to your swollen lips. "You'll have to keep quiet, we don't know who's all in the house."

You blush brightly at the thought of the others hearing you. You know Drayton is probably in the house, either cooking food or tidying up the kitchen. Bubba would most likely be outside, but you're unsure of where Nubbins and Sissy might be. While you're distracted the man below you slides a finger into you pussy, brushing against the spot that drives you insane. He smiled as you try to keep quiet, shoving your face into the crook of his neck to do so.

Johnny groans lowly after hearing you moan his name, feeling you rub against his erection needely as he fucks you on his long fingers. He hoped to tease you a bit longer but he really can't help himself. The bigger male removes his fingers from your cunt but he's sure to replace it soon after with the tip of his cock. You whine as he pushes into your heat, filling you effortlessly. "Fuck baby, you feel so good." He purrs, holding your ass in both hands and he grinds you against his cock.

The strain of trying to keep quiet almost gives you a headache, biting down on your boyfriends collarbone to hush yourself. Johnny hisses at the pain, laughing at your futile attempts. "You know what, let then hear you. I want them to hear how good I fuck you." He teases, watching you turn bright red at the thought. You shake your head no, biting down on him harder to maybe silence his teasing. He continues regardless, lifting you up and down on his cock, the water around the two of you splashing slightly, some ever spilling out of the tub and onto the bathroom floor.

"You looked so hot earlier, dripping in blood," John reminds you, mouth falling open in a silent groan, composing himself before he continues to talk. "It got me so hard, it was difficult to keep working. I was waiting for this." Your lover continues to ramble on, thrusting up into you harshly. "Next time will you let me fuck you like that, covered in blood." The thought eggs him on, speeding up as he imagines it. You can't even respond, fucked dumb on his shaft as he plows into your wet cunt.

Inevitably it was impossible for you to stay quiet, and to be fair John was being much louder than you anyways. What a hypocrite. Your orgasms coils in the pit of you stomach, you grow louder and louder, ultimately forgetting your embarrassment and need to be quite. His name spills from your lips, whining loudly before you cum, shaking in his strong arms.

Johnny curses profanities, feeling your pussy clench and pulse around him in result of your orgasm. His grip on you is tight, leaving bruises on your soft flesh. "Yeah just like that darling." He mumbles, it doesn't take long for Johnny to cum, filling you full of his warm seed. He uses you to ride out his orgasm, making you cry out in overstimulation.

The water stills and both of your laboured breaths filll the small room. You whince as the bigger man pulls you off of him, soiling the water with a mixture of both of your juices.

After a bit, johnny stands, pulling you up with him. He dries you off gently before wrapping the towel around your naked form, tying his own towel around his waist. He kisses you sweetly on the forehead, draining the tub before leading you twords the bathroom door.

You almost run right into the figure on the other side, Johnny has to stop you with a strong arm. Bubba stands there awkwardly, silent as per usual. You hold the towel against yourself tightly, averting your gaze in embarrassment. "Hey, don't you know it's weird to ease drop!" Johnny exclaims, pushing the masked man to the side.

"There's no need too, we could all hear you anyways." You hear Sissy scoffs as she descends the wooden staircase.

Well, dinner tonight was going to be awkward.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Shanks. Oh Shanks…

Yes he is kinda the guy on the beach who wasn’t lying about knowing karate.

When we meet him he’s relaxing/chilling/taking a breather in a little hidden away port to get away from the Navy. This is in a world where stories about Pirates (and many actual Pirates) are about how much chaos and pain and destruction they bring simply looking for treasure. But not Shanks and not in Foosha.

He puts people at ease because there is no reason to antagonize or bully the locals. He spends his days flirting it up at the bar. When someone does come looking for a fight, he’s not easily baited either. Some things aren’t worth it, a message he teaches Luffy. It takes a kidnapping for Shanks to step up and remind everyone that not only is he a real pirate, but a dangerous one at that.

He also has scars. Very sexy scars. And they don’t seem to turn him bitter or spur him on life. His facial scarring is a lesson about how there are people who will never fight fair and if you’re going to get anywhere you should recognize and respond appropriately. And they really give some character and contrast to him. I really can’t explain why. He also SCARIFICED HIS ARM FOR A CHILD. This man jumps into the ocean knowing full well there is a legit sea monster waiting for a snack and swims out to save a boy who had idolized him, acted out, and eaten Shanks’ treasure. What kind of Pirate risks life and limb for a kid who took their most powerful possession? THEN!! Then this man is able to TURN BACK THE SEA MONSTER WITH A LOOK. That’s all! Just a very intense look saying “you may be called a Sea King but I am an Emperor so get!” (Ps he’s not an emperor yet) And it works!!

Now yes, he is a total slut. I personally subscribe to a specific endgame ship where such behavior changes when he falls in love but man is always going to have his manwhore vibe. But they are the best? Like he’s not creeping or forceful about it. He knows he’s attractive and he knows what parties interested in a night (or so) of fun look like. And if he were in this world now or back during the golden age of piracy, I would be like “yeah walking STD” but it seems like everyone whose anyone in One Piece has a capable doctor. If he did catch something he’d appropriatly take care of it.

Shanks is also not completely irresponsible. Man is captain of a ship with a crew and fleet who like him and believe in him. He makes world altering decisions on the regular. He has been granted audiences with the 5 elders. He fights other Emperors. He’s been playing a long game. His first teacher was the Pirate King. Yes, Beckmann definitely keeps things on track at times but Shanks isn’t like a toddler running in all the directions at once. He’s got a plan and he’s been sticking to it. And it’s been working really well.

As for the showers: I personally never thought about it but…in the world of One Piece every ship is complete with all the luxuries of life. This means Red Force is bound to have baths/showers. Shanks isn’t a DF eater so he can take baths and I assume while he might not everyday he does regularly. Plus with a man whose identity/brand is tied to his hair, he’s not letting that get grimy and greasy and dirty. I do believe there is some dependable vanity here which Zoro would lack.

TLDR; Shanks may initially look like a scary threat based on reputation, build, and scaring, but he has a gift for putting people at ease so they see him as some beach bum. But right below that his dangerous aura is ready to burst out when needed (usually in aide of a friend/ally or for his plan). He is an intelligent man who knows what is happening in the World and a very talented swordsman. And the layer below is someone who clearly loves life and all the wonderful things it can offer.

In summary: he has a genuine peacefulness about him that makes him feel safe (when not actively fighting as I mean “peaceful” in relation to being capible of great violence.) and he’s just sexy as sin.

For context, they're responding to this post about Shanks

That's the dichotomy of shakes. He goes from complete dork

To the absolutely terrifying Emperor of the Sea.

People like to talk about the yesification and glow-up of most of the characters post-time skip. The most prominent glow-up to me was the dedorkification of shanks. That man was a complete dork for most of the pre-time skip. Now in Wano. What happened?

He's got a whole new jawline and everything

But at least he still has his dorky moments

[cupidsdescendant]

Mercs helping with Periods (Part 3)

GENDER NEUTRAL :DD

AM I OKAY?!??!! (changing the name bc the original was about periods in general and not just cramps) THE LONG-AWAITED ENDING OF THE SERIES AHHHH- I wanted to do part 3 for hella long but my ass forgot for like....4 months lmao- (NSFW WARNING FOR MEDIC'S PART)

Spy:

-ugly stupid frenchman who doesn't care about anyone but himself

-but this is fandom so you think I really care? no.

-He's a womanizer, man. like his ass doesn't know what a period is.

-Anyways he's super romantic! Always showering you in kisses everywhere, stomach, neck, shoulders, everywhere!

-"Aw, Mon Cheri~ Vill this make you feel better ?" He lays you on his bed and pulls your shirt up kissing all around your hip bones and belly. You giggly tell him to stop cus it tickles.

-Whenever you lash out at him/get angry if he does something you don't like he smoothly gets out of being punished

-Like you could be fucking furious but his ass will make you fall for him once more in less than an hour

-Massage expert. Like. Massages anytime anywhere.

-He's the one that makes baths for you to relax your muscles in

-the few times he's physically romantic (like with the kissing) he hugs you and holds onto you more often

-He actually sleeps in the same bed as you! Win win!

-When you get hungry he makes you food <3 mostly french food but he's open to making you something you crave

-THEE. shoulder to cry on dude. He comforts you so much and whenever you latch onto him his body is all warm. presumably from all the smoking

-He doesn't want you to talk to the mercs while you're on your cycle because if they say something slightly offensive he doesn't want you to be hurt by them

-"You all must be less of imbeciles while shes around, le bien?" He says angrily pointing at everyone. They all nod nervously, they don't really want him sneaking up on them anyways

-Oh how he loves his Mon Cheri <3 everything just for them

Medic:

-the one i've been waiting for, for so long.

-As an ex doctor, Medic is always caring and loving with you

-He's the one that asks you to take pamprin or other menstrual medication

-He knows when your period comes after a bunch of tests, and after all as his love he wants to make sure he's always available!

-Coddles you 24/7, he treats you like you're bed ridden and only wants you to stay in so he can take care of you <3

-He's always trying to make sure you're okay. At the drop of a hat he would zoom off to you if you yell his name

-"Oh vat's wrong, liebling?" He says as he rubs your aching stomach. He would lay his head on your stomach and hum.

-Always feeding you, does the stupid airplane thing if you're acting angry

-Speaking of angry, if you lash out to him he usually ignores it and continues to baby you.

okay. I'm sorry but I had to write a NSFW part because he legit. like. the demons in my brain are telling me to (NSFW WARNING AHEAD)

-He's into period sex, he finds it fascinating. absolutely hot.

-He already has fun teasing you with blood on his hands after surgery, so having your own blood on him turns him on 100%

-likes the smell. yeah i know it's gross but what do you expect from a fucking freak doctor who stole a patients skeleton

-"Did jou know sex is a great way to relieve menstrual cramps?" He taunts you as he kisses you up against your neck.

-Knowing you're on you period turns him on so much. All he wants to do is fuck you until there's blood on over your thighs

-Now this man is disgusting and unsanitary but! He still gives you showers and baths, of course, he has to be in it with you.

-He likes watching the blood fall from your legs and down the drain, usually muttering the most unhinged horny things in german.

k I'm sorry. like. fr. Thanks 4 reading though!

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hello! I'm here for the Home ask game.

My initials are I.S.

If money wasn't an issue I'd love to have a very large beautifully landscaped garden🍃 Also I'd love to have a custom made well designed home library and a gym full of expensive equipments lol🙃

And my ideal self care routine begins with peace. I would love to not be overly stimulated by responsibilities. I'd love to have some peace and quiet for myself, a good cup of tea or fancy coffee with some good music playing in the background. I would like to do skincare after a shower and then relax and play a game or read a book. Also I would cook a meal after feeling energized by good rest. That is heaven to me after a long day🥺

Also thank you for this game🥳I'm looking forward to your answer.

Hi IS,

Thank you so much for participating in my Home ask game.

A beautiful landscape, library, and a fully equipped gym?!?! OOooohh you go get that dream house!! You deserve it!

OMG, I love how you want to begin with Peace as part of your self-care routine. Yes, ideally, it's great to start the day as gently as possible. Seriously your ideal self-care routine is legit soothing!

So the cards I pulled are: Moon, Hierophant, 3 of Cups

I found it rather fitting that the first card that popped up in your reading is to use your intuition to discern what is meant for you versus who came into your life as mere lessons. There's this strong suggestion to learn to hear what your body needs as a means to feel more at home in your body and life. Which is very on-brand in this game's theme.

Another to interpret this is to drown out all the noise of the world that pressures you to do and be somebody you're not, and focus on always doing right by yourself.

Hierophant feels more like a suggestion to do thorough research about your culture's holistic approach to healing. This is such a specifically odd intuitive nudge, but I'll say it because it might be important for you: don't waste your resources and time on big pharma companies and find a way to heal and help yourself as nature has intended. Somatic healing is such a loud suggestion. Now do what you will with this information, okay?

Finally, you help yourself feel at home in your body by leaning on to your friends and community for support. Sure, everyone has problems; we all have our own crosses to bear. But sometimes, some burdens are too heavy for our heads to carry and comprehend. That's why you're highly suggested to seek out and reconnect with individuals who you know will always do right by you, especially in moments you needed them the most.

The line that strongly demands to be heard is: "Don't deprive your friends the privilege of being there for you at your lowest, when you have always been there for them when they needed you the most."

and also...

"To be your safe space is an honor and privilege of those who have earned your trust."

This concludes the end of your reading. Do let me know how this resonates with you. Feel free to show some support via my Buy Me A Coffee here (This reading is for entertainment purposes only.)

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

The Scent of You: Nero x Male Reader

MINORS DNI: THIS IS FOR 18+ ONLY (ngl I don't know if this stuff is allowed here, but I think it is lmao)

SUMMARY: Nero has been on a job for almost a month. When he returns to your shared home, he decides to relax and take a hot shower. While doing so, he gets really horny and tries to control himself. However, your scent is driving him up the wall with need. 🌟🌟🌟 🌟🌟🌟 🌟🌟🌟 Wrote this to try and get a better feel for what I want Nero to be like; kinda what I did with Vergil ngl. ... I didn’t realize it till typing this, I am legit doing the same thing I did for Vergil for Nero because I had the same issue--wtf lmaooo 🌟🌟🌟 I also was having a hard time describing certain locations on the body; so there are some “real” names for muscles and whatnot; sorry if that throws you off a bit lmao. 🌟🌟🌟 Semi-mindless smut. Minor fluff. Very minor description of masturbation (Nero). Pre-established relationship; implied marriage. First time Devil Trigger sex; mentions of blood (which Nero gets aroused by) and knotting Male Bottom Sub. Reader x Top Dom. Nero (side note: Nero does use his teeth on your dick; I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I wanted to write it in idk). 🌟🌟🌟

     The van ride from the DMC to Nero’s was abnormally quiet. The only noise was the van's engine and the faint humming that Nico made to the tunes on the stereo. That being said, a nuke could've gone off and Nero, who was sitting in his usual spot on the passenger seat, wouldn't have noticed. The teal demon had zoned out a long time ago. He was looking out the window, watching the buildings pass as they got further toward the outside edge of Red Grave. 

     It had been one hell of a month for the youngest descendant of Sparda. Between having to work alongside the rest of the Sparda line and the contract being a bigger pain than they were informed; he was beyond exhausted. All Nero wanted to do was take a hot shower, eat something, and cuddle into you. 

     He groaned in irritation; God did he miss you. All that he could think about the past week or so was how much he yearned to hold you in a tight loving hug. Feeling your heartbeat against his chest, running his fingers through your hair, kissing your sweet face and lips--there are no words to even describe how much the young devil hunter craved you.

     “Welp, here we are,” Nico spoke and gestured to the house in front of the van; breaking Nero from his thoughts, “Don’t forget any of your shit now, alright?” 

     Nero scoffed and rolled his eyes, “You’re never going to let that go are you?”

     “Not a chance,”

     He got up from the passenger seat, “Figures--” with a smooth motion he grabbed Red Queen and his duffle bag of gear from the couch, “Thanks for the ride, asshole.”

     “Anytime, dickhead!” Nico waved a short goodbye as Nero departed from the van onto the asphalt. 

     He watched the van drive off for a moment; attempting to gather himself. Nero hadn’t told you he was coming home and wanted to surprise you-- hopefully, you won’t stab him thinking he is an intruder (again). With a springing giddiness to his walk, he went up to the front door. It took him a moment of rummaging in his pockets for him to find his keys. 

     Upon finding them, he unlocked the doorknob and deadbolt as quietly as he could. Once inside, he slowly shut the door behind him. Nero focused for a moment, trying to place where you were in the house; he found out you were in the kitchen through your heartbeat. Discarding his bag on the floor and leaning Red Queen up against the wall, he crept toward your location. You were turned away from him doing something on the counter, not paying any attention to the stalking paces of the sly hunter. 

     “Miss me, baby?” a set of muscular arms wrapped around your torso making you jolt forward and knock your head backward into Nero’s jaw.

     “Jesus-!” you shouted as your heart raced.

     Nero chuckled as he kissed the top of your head, “Not quite, but, at least you didn’t stab me this time.”

     “No,” you looked down at the cutting board on the counter in front of you, “I just stabbed myself instead.”

     “What.”

     Nero removed his arms from your waist. You casually walked over to the sink to rinse your newly formed cut on your hand’s purlicue. Blood didn’t bother you much since Nero’s constantly covered in it, however, the placement of this particular cut is going to be a bitch to heal. 

     Nero re-wrapped himself around your waist and pouted, “Sorry.”

     With a grin and shake of your head, you turned off the water. Feeling how warm he was, you couldn’t help but lean back into your teal devil, “It’s fine, Nero… I’m glad you’re home.” 

     Nero grabbed the cut hand and gently placed a kiss on the small wound, “There, good as new.”

     A loud snort of a snicker came from your nose, “Oh my god, Nero,” you wiggled in his arms to turn and face him, “you are a dork.”

     He winked and smiled, “and I’m yours forever.”

     With an exaggerated roll of your eyes, you gently kissed his cheek, “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

     “Nope, sorry. That title’s mine,” he placed tender kisses on your neck.

     The feeling of his warm lips against you sent a shiver up your spine. You placed one of your hands in his hair and ruffled it a bit. Nero’s kisses stopped and turned into nuzzling as you continued your motion; the teal demon practically melted into you. 

     Your face turned to a scrunch and you removed your hand. His hair was full of dried blood. 

     “Nero--” you looked down at him, who was now staring at you with the most puppy-dog-eyed stare you’ve ever seen, “Don’t give me that look…”

     He stuck out his lip in a pout and made a fake sniffling sound, “Why’d you stop?”

     “You’re full of blood and stuff,” you gently took your hand and placed it on his cheek, thumbing over his soft skin, “You need a bath.”

     With a sigh, he stopped pouting, “Care to join me~?”

     “I would but,” you looked over to the stove, “the soup won’t cook itself.”

     Nero stood back upright with the energy of a small child, “You’re makin’ soup?!”

     “Yeah…” you laughed at his excitement, “You told me last week that you were coming home so I bought the stuff for it… It was gonna go bad if I waited any longer so,” you shrugged, “I made soup.”

     “God, I love you,” He kissed your forehead, “You need any help?”

     With a shake of your head, you responded, “Nope; just for you to wash up before dinner--please?”

     “Sure thing babe,” with a large over-the-top kiss (and a 'mwah' sound to go with it), he trotted off. 

     Shaking your head with a smile, you continued your cooking.

     The young hunter went and retrieved his bag and Red Queen from the entryway. Then waltz over to the bedroom. He tossed the bag off to the side and set his sword against one of the walls; leaving them to deal with later. Mindlessly, Nero grabbed some clothes and a towel. 

     He sauntered into the bathroom and stripped himself bare--removing his Overture devil breaker as well. With the flip of a switch, he turned on the bathroom fan and moved to turn on the shower. Since his body was aching, Nero decided to turn the knob as hot as he could; creating an almost sauna-like feel to the bathroom.

     A sigh of relief left his lips as he stepped into and under the scorching water. Nero began to purr in comfort as he felt the stress and strain of the past month leave his body. He reached for some body wash--not paying much attention to his actions. It wasn’t until he began to lather his body that he realized that it wasn’t his body wash; it was yours. 

     “Shit,” Nero mumbled to himself. 

     It’s not that the young hunter disliked the smell of your wash; he loves it and that’s the problem. A strained growl emanated from his throat. The smell of you drives Nero insane normally; however, due to the past month of being around his family constantly, Nero was beyond pent-up. Typically he wouldn’t have had any problems asking for some physical affection, but he didn’t want to seem rude for being home less than an hour and already asking for sex. So, the young man decided to take care of it himself.

     Nero bit down on his lip as he slowly began to stroke himself. He leaned forward, placing a flat hand against a tile wall of the shower. Admittedly, his demon was screaming to go get you and claim you; which only made him bite down harder on his lip. Blood trickled down his chin as he began to move his hand faster; fantasizing about what he would do if you were there with him. How good it would feel to ram you against the wall. The sound of your strained moans while he choked you. His hand would be around your cock as you trembled beneath him; only allowing you to cum when he said so. Nero’s pace became ragged. His fingers pressed against the wall hard enough they were turning white. He imagined telling you how much of a good boy you were being. The sound of your voice as you begged to be allowed to cum. That thought broke him. A loud guttural groan slipped past Nero’s (still-bleeding) lips as he came. 

     Slowly coming back down from his high, Nero finished showering; this time paying close attention to what wash he was using. Trying to ignore the still very lustful thoughts that lingered at the edges of his mind.

===

     It had nearly been forty-five minutes since Nero went to shower; a part of you was beginning to worry that he fell asleep while bathing. Since all the soup had left to do was simmer, you decided to leave the kitchen to find out if he was okay.

     First, you checked the bathroom. It was muggy and the showerhead still had water dripping from it. Nero’s devil breaker was still resting on the countertop, which made you raise a brow in confusion; however, he wasn’t in there. So you moved on to the bedroom.

     What you came upon was quite a sight. 

     On the bed, Nero was facing upwards. His legs were lazily hung over the edge of the bed that was facing you. Around his hips was a towel that had been thrown on as an afterthought; seeing as it was barely covering anything besides his dick. You bit your lip slightly at the sight. Despite seeing your lover naked a thousand times, it still managed to give you butterflies. 

     Nero hadn’t moved to acknowledge that you were in the doorway, so you decided to get a closer look. In the past, he had taken some unintentional cat naps after a hot shower; so you figured that’s what happened.

     You peered over his body. His eyes snapped to you; both his eyes were glowing his goldenrod coloration from his triggered form. In an instant, Nero had pulled you onto the bed and had you pinned beneath him. The towel had been discarded and it took everything in your body to not look downwards; not wanting to break eye contact. One of his hands held both of your wrists above your head while the other gently ran up your middle. A faint growling caught your attention as you tilted your head slightly. 

     He leaned into your neck and lightly kissed along your jugular. A shiver ran through your body, Nero’s breath was hot and the growling had only grown louder. Although this would have typically been super hot, the fact that he hadn’t said anything was a bit odd.

     “Nero--?” your voice was laced with an aroused, yet, confused tone. 

     His kisses stopped and he stilled for a moment. He moved up to your face and placed his cheek against yours; which you noted was scorching. Along with that, he also pressed the rest of his body into you. You felt his stiff cock grind against the ever-growing tent in your pants.

     “I’m sorry but,” Nero’s voice was needy as he gently bit your earlobe, “I need you, please .”

     Another shiver ran through your body, “I- I have to turn off the stove f-first.”

     Nero sat back upward narrowing his eyes and placed a hand on your chest, “Stay,” with that, Nero got up and left the room (presumably to turn off the stove for you.).

     This gave you a brief moment to think, “ Nero doesn’t usually growl like that… I wonder if-- ” your thoughts were cut short.

     A set of bioluminescent blue wings moved you to the center of the mattress. Not wasting any time, Nero was back on top and straddling you. His lips were immediately intertwined with yours. A hot tongue was forced within the confines of your mouth, desperately exploring every corner. He used his wings to pin your wrists out to your sides as he used his hands to strip you of your clothing; not caring that he was ripping them from your body. 

     Once you were barren of your clothing, Nero broke off the kiss and leaned back upwards--and let go of your wrists. You were panting heavily and awaited his next move. 

     His eyes fluttered all over your body as barely-there fingertips ghosted down your body, only to stop before reaching your aching flesh, “God,” he leaned back down and whispered against your shoulder, “you’re gorgeous.”

     Nero bit down on your shoulder and gripped your middle. Your body arched upwards as you grabbed a hand full of his slate-grey hair, pulling slightly. His growling intensified as did his bite. 

     “Fuck-” you pulled Nero off of you a bit, “Nero that hurt.”. He looked up at you with an intense stare you hadn’t seen before. Seeing the slightly red tint to his lips made you realize that he had actually bitten you, “Nero?”

     His lips parted slightly as he continued to stare into your eyes and, after a moment, he spoke, “Sorry.”

     His grip loosened on your body slightly and he placed a gentle peck on your new bite mark. Admittedly this had happened before but it had only happened when he was cumming.

     Squashing down your questions and concerns (blaming it on your long separation), you whispered, "It's okay," following that with a gentle kiss on his neck. Knowing that Nero tends to dwell on accidentally hurting you when sleeping together, you decided to move things forward by leaning upwards. 

     However, he used his wings to pin your wrists down once again as his hands pushed you back down into the plush bedding, "What do you think you're doing?" his voice was low and husky; just oozing with dominance. 

     A slight confusion settled in your mind, seeing as Nero had never stopped you from moving to give him head. You decided that he was just adding to the foreplay, "I wanted to have a taste of you~"

     He ran his tongue along your neckline, "I didn't tell you that I wanted you to move, in fact," Nero sat upward, "I want you right where you are…" he firmly grabbed your external obliques, leaving his hands temptingly close to your hips. 

     You swallowed hard. Seeing Nero taking such an intense approach to things after not being together for so long made your body ache and your cock twitch--which he noticed.

     With a devilish smirk, Nero slowly began to kiss down your middle. Stopping every few to give you a hickey or bite mark; taking extra care to make sure he wasn’t being too rough. You squirmed under his firm grasp of wings and hands. It was uncommon for Nero to go down on you; typically, Nero enjoyed frotting against you instead. Seems he really wants to step out of the norm today. 

     A bite against your inner thigh pulled you from your thoughts. A loud sharp moan escaped your lips as you, unintentionally, bucked your hips upward. Nero growled at your movement and placed his hands harshly down on your hips, keeping them pinned down. 

     "Nero," you whimpered, desperately wanting to touch him and yourself. 

     His golden eyes met with yours, "Be a good boy or I stop--got it?" Wanting him to continue, you nodded frantically, making him smirk, "Good."

     Tepid kisses ran up your inner thighs. Before he reached your balls, he would stop and place a hickey on the sensitive flesh; creating matching marks on each side. Nero looked up at you; his stare was different. A strange semi-nervous feeling began to pool in your stomach at the predatory gaze of your lover. 

     The young man placed kisses along your balls and up to the tip of your dick, giving your slit a small kitten lick. Nero’s lips were broiling hot against your skin, which only added to the effects of the uncommon action. You bit your lip and let out a strangled groan; resisting the urge to buck your hips again. Nero seemed to notice your restraint and rewarded you with a long drawn-out kiss to the underside of your cock head. 

     He smirked as he watched your internal struggle to stay composed. His tongue ran along the slit of your tip; cleaning the small amount of pre-cum there was. 

     “You taste good,” he whispered as he ran his tongue up the side of your shaft. You whimpered as he continued his teasing; never quite putting his lips around you.

     “Nero,” your voice was whiney and laced with need. He looked up at you and gave you a small ‘hm?’ as he continued his ministrations along your cock, “please--” you gasped as you felt his teeth carefully and gently nibble along the side of your dick, “f-fuck--”

     He stopped for a moment; debating what he wanted to do. A part of him wanted to keep teasing your sensitive flesh and the other wanted to hear you cry out for him. Seeing the desperation in your eyes as you stared down at him made him shudder. 

     Slowly, Nero placed his lips around the tip of your dick and inched his way down to the base of your dick; gagging slightly as it hit the back of his throat. 

     You threw your head back, “Fuck- Nero--”

     His growling intensified upon hearing your voice. Nero pulled his head back up and removed his lips, “I want you to look at me,” his eyes met with yours as he bobbed slowly up and down your dick.

     All the while, the grip his wings had on your wrists let go and he allowed you to grab his hair. Using his blue-feathery extensions, he reached over to the side table and grabbed a bottle of lube from the drawer--dropping it near your hips for later. He then took his wings and used them to push your hips into the bed, replacing his hands. As he continued to slow down and speed up on your cock, he took his hands and gently groped at the under and inner sides of your thighs. 

     Nero’s eyes stayed locked with yours as he pulled his lips off of your dick and bite down over one of the already-there hickeys on your thighs. Then gave the tip of your dick a few more licks and then circled the tip, all the while you were praising and moaning your lover’s name. 

     “Nero, please-- fuck, I-- ugh,” your hands pulled harder on his hair as he took your dick and placed it against his cheek, his breath grazing your aching flesh.

     A shiver ran up your spine as you stared into his eyes; the primal feeling held in his stare only increased with each of your words and sounds. Once again his mouth took your dick in; this time, however, he kept a faster pace. One of his hands moved to the base of your shaft, adding small strokes alongside the movements of his mouth. 

     You felt your peak coming on, which Nero seemed to notice too. He moved his hand from your dick to your balls, massaging them slightly. The tip of your dick hit the back of his throat again; as he made sure to take in as much of you as he could. With a loud groan of Nero’s name, you came into his mouth. He made sure to savor every drop, still staring you in the eyes. 

     You expected Nero to pause a minute before continuing, as you normally would; however, before you had even come back down from your euphoria, he was back up on top of you--kissing you wildly. There was a fire in his lip's motions as he felt you grope at every inch of his body; enjoying being able to finally touch your teal demon. A small moan left Nero’s lips as you kneaded into his chest.

     After a minute or two, Nero stopped kissing you and moved out of his straddling position, “Turn over.” the growling had now become interlaced with his voice; reminding you of his devil trigger.

     “You’re quite dominating today…” you flipped over, “it’s pretty hot.”

     You could practically feel him smirk at your comment, but he said nothing; only pushing a lubed-up finger inside of your ass.

     He leaned down and began to kiss along your shoulder as he mumbled, “You’re tight; although you seem to have prepped for me-?”

     A small smile tugged at your lips, “I cleaned up before coming to find you; figured you were going to-- ah~”

     Nero bit down on your shoulder and began to leave yet another loving mark, “What a good boy.”

     You moved your head to allow him to bite your neck; which he moved to do right away. He pushed another finger into your hole. Nero was dying to fuck you and was steadily growing impatient with things. 

     However, he knew that he had to take it slower than normal; since you were much tighter with him being gone so long. So he had to control himself, which did by continuing to bite along your shoulders, neck, and back.

     After another few minutes, he slid a third digit inside you. At this point, you were as desperate as he was, “Nero I can take it,”

     The twisting of his fingers stopped as did his kisses, but he didn’t move, “Beg.”

     Your heart skipped a beat, “What?”

     His voice was husky against your ear, the growling only getting worse with each passing moment, “Beg for me.”

     Nero had never asked for you to beg before and you took a long shaky breath before mumbling, “Please, Nero.”

     “I didn’t quite catch that,” one of his wings yanked your head back allowing him even more access to your neck, “louder. ” he harshly bit down on your neck; much harder than before.

     “Fuck!” you jerked your body from the unexpected sharp stinging of his teeth, “Please, Nero-- I need you inside me!”

     He licked the fresh wound he created in your neck, “Good boy.”

     You let out a whimper as you felt Nero remove his fingers. However before you got too lonely, you felt his hands on your hips. Nero took a deep breath as he lined himself with your needy hole; teasing you slightly.

     “Please Nero, please, ” you slightly rolled your hips against him, encouraging him to continue.

     His lip twitched upwards as he let out a dark snarl. Suddenly, he slammed himself inside of your body; not allowing you to take him slowly.

     “Fuck!” your body jolted forward from the force of his thrust as your hands violently grasped at the bedding beneath you. Tears had sprung up to the edges of your eyes as you tried to steady yourself by breathing slowly.

     Seeing movement out of the corner of your eyes, you looked over to one side. Nero had braced himself with his palms on the mattress. Which was fine; however, your breath hitched upon seeing the ever-growing blue and iron-grey scales crawling up his arms. 

     “Nero-” you squirmed a bit, “I want to see you--please?” your voice was soft in hopes he would listen to you.

     Which he did. He pulled himself out of you and flipped you over. This allowed you to get a better idea of what was going on. 

     Nero’s breathing had become quite labored. His brow was furrowed slightly and his eyes were still golden; however, his pupils had dilated heavily--something that you had never seen before--and was avoiding looking you in the eyes. Long hair covered his face and was sprawling down his back. And although his forearms were covered in scales, the rest of him was still quite human. A twitch of his lip revealed a much sharper set of teeth than normal. You could see the internal conflict he was having over this.

     “Hey,” you placed a hand on his cheek, which he leaned into, “It’s okay. I can take it.”

     His eyes met with yours, his voice barely audible, “What if I hurt you…”

     With a warm soft smile, you gently caressed him with your thumb, “You won’t, Nero. I promise. You can let go.”

     In reality, you had no idea if you were going to be fine. Nero had already bitten you hard enough to make you bleed, twice, and he tended to kiss along very vulnerable parts of your body. Over all the years you have been with the teal devil, he had never triggered during sex nor had either of you broached the subject before. 

     Nero allowed himself to let go as you continued to hold the side of his face; watching the metamorphosis before you. A new poking caught your attention as you looked down towards your hips. His cock grew several inches and became thicker; which, in hindsight, you should’ve thought about before agreeing.

     Without wasting another moment, Nero animalistically shoved himself back inside you.

     With a sharp gasp, you sputtered in response, “f-fuck, f-fuck, s-shit,” your head hit the bed as you continued your strand of ‘fucks’ and ‘shits’.

     He placed his hands around your hips and pulled his cock out; barely leaving the tip inside. Only to slam into you twice as hard; not allowing you to slowly adjust to the large cock inside you.

     The teal demon’s pace was brutal. You were going to stroke yourself; however, the bucking of his hips against your prostate negated the need for that. He used his wings to brace behind your shoulders and pulled you up to him. His kisses were scorching and filled with an unyielding lust. You had tried to break from his kiss, only to be brought right back with a growl to accompany it. 

     When Nero finally did decide to let you out of the kiss, he noticed that he had nicked your chin with one of his spikes. With a swift motion, your lover lapped up the blood that had trickled from the wound; which aroused you, much to your confusion and concern.

     However, your thoughts were silenced as he pushed you into the bed with a choke. His hand gripped around your neck; making sure to keep it at a comfortable squeeze--the last thing he wants is for you to pass out. 

     You moaned loudly, arching your back as his wings gripped your legs and pulled them upwards; holding them above the ridges of his shoulders. The other hand slowly raked up your torso, leaving light claw marks up your middle. He brought his claws up to his lips and licked your blood clean off of them. If you had been able to think, you would’ve been afraid of how much Nero seemed to enjoy tasting your blood. 

     His once hard languid motions became hard uneven motions. You knew that meant he was getting close, you were too. He moved your legs back down, so he could get closer to you. The devil’s hot breath washed over your neck as you gripped the base of his horns, massaging them slightly. This rewarded you with even harder slams of his strong hips. 

     “God,” your voice was hoarse and cracked slightly, “I love you.”

     Nero nuzzled your neck in response.

     You whimpered as his thrusts became short and even harsher, “Please, I need you-- Ah~!”

     His sharp teeth bit down into your platysma muscle; making yet another deep puncture through your soft flesh. Nero’s hips aggressively ground into yours and forced something larger inside of you; making you jerk your hips and hiss in pain. 

     A few minutes passed as he kept his teeth locked into your body and his cock buried deep into you. Despite that, however, you could feel that cum had already begun to leak from your body. Your insides were twitching as you felt him pull his hips back a little but he was unable to remove himself. Whatever had been pushed into you was keeping the both of you intimately interlocked. 

     You had a tired smile on your face as you gently pet his hair and his horns. Nero had begun to purr from your soft touches. You’d hoped that maybe he would relax enough to pull himself from your body; even if you weren’t 100% sure of what was going on. 

     After another few minutes, Nero pulled back on his hips again. This time he was able to remove himself with an audible ‘pop’. Your hips quaked as you groaned from the feeling of his hot seed dripping down your overly-sensitive body. He released his bite on your body, making you shut your eyes and cuss in pain. 

     Nero had gotten up from the bed before you reopened your eyes. Attempting to get a better idea of what was going on, you tried to sit upward. However, the feeling of sharp intense pain shot up your body. So you gave up on the idea of trying to move.

     “ Maybe he went to get a towel? ” you thought to yourself, feeling a bit lonely without him. 

     You were nearly asleep by the time Nero came back into the room. 

     “Hey, baby,” Nero’s voice was soft. He walked over to the bed with a towel in hand, “I drew up a bath, stay still a minute.” his voice was quiet enough that his words came off as more of a question than a statement. Your young lover used the towel to wipe your body and ass off a bit as he sat at the corner of the bed; secretly enjoying the view of your undone body. 

     “Nero-” you propped yourself up on your elbows with a grunt. He looked up at you, his eyes were now back to his normal sea-blue eyes, “Why were we… uh… stuck together?”

     His eyes widened as a faint blush tugged at his face, “I um…” he swallowed audibly and laughed to himself, “I knotted you.”

     It was your turn to go wide-eyed and blush, “What?”

     “It’s used to--”

     “I know what it does,” you laughed and avoided his eyes, letting yourself lay back down, “just didn’t know you could do that.”

     The younger hunter grinned at you as he stood, “There’s a lot I can do with that side of me; I just worry about what those things are.”

     He moved to your side and picked you up to take you to the bathroom. You tiredly mumbled into his shoulder, “If you want, we can experiment more with your demonic side; I’m okay with it.”

     Nero smiled. He sat in the bath with you in his lap so he could help clean you off, “Sure, I-” his smile quickly faded, turning to a frown, “Did I--?” his fingers lightly brushed over the final bite that he had left, making you unintentionally wince. 

     It had turned to a dark purple, almost black coloration, and was still bleeding quite badly. Nero looked as if he was about to cry as he stared at you with a furrowed brow. You gently grabbed his hand and removed it from the bite, “I’m fine Nero. It’s not that big of--”

     “I hurt you,” Nero pursed his lips as he let out a shaky breath noticing the claw marks down your middle, “I could have killed you; you know that right? Using that form--” he pulled his hand back from yours.

     “Nero, look at me,” you used your hands to cup the sides of his face, “I wouldn’t have let you do that if I didn’t want it; besides, I trust you.”

     “But--”

     “No buts,” you gently rubbed his face with your thumbs, “We both enjoyed ourselves, right?”

     He nodded.

     “And I am still alive; aren’t I?”

     Once more, he nodded.

     “So we are both okay?”

     Nero nodded finally looking back at your face.

     “I understand your concern but… you aren’t a mindless beast, you know? ” Nero placed his hands gently over the top of yours, “I know what I signed up for and I trust you, Nero; completely and entirely,” you could hear a very faint purr coming from him.

     He took each of your hands and placed a slow soft kiss on each, “Trusting a demon, huh? Not the smartest thing to do.”

     A loving smile spread across your face, “Then consider me the happiest idiot around.”

     Nero laughed with a wide grin, “I really love you,” he sighed contently, “so fuckin’ much.”

---

Hope I did Nero justice with this and that y'all enjoyed this little story! Wasn't sure how to end this, so forgive me if it is abrupt lmao. 🌟🌟🌟 Thank you so much for reading!! :)))

==

Want to see more like this? Want to read my work quicker and several stories that are not on Tumblr? Check this out on my AO3 (Linked here)

MASTER LIST FOR TUMBLR

[tinywitchgoblin]

Hey wassup, I’m delusional (and insane) and I saw your past posts, so which bad batch member would you ship me with?

Im Hispanic (Dunno if that’s important lol). Brown curly hair and brown eyes. Tan skin but I have low iron so I kinda look pale but not too pale. I got two little moles on my chin that I’m insecure about but sometimes I’m confident about them. I’m 5’5. I struggle with anxiety but I’m coping with my depression, I occasionally have really bad depressive episodes. I’m bipolar. Sometimes I act so confident in myself and other times I get insecure and try to hide my stomach.

Some things about me is that I love to write and make poetic shit, like I will sound like a insane hopeless romantic. I like to use cheesy pick up lines when I get comfortable enough. Music is my life and savior. Will legit make a whole playlist or CD dedicated to someone. I LOVE to dance to literally anything, usually if I try to get someone to dance with me is because I just wanna have fun with someone and be able to laugh and feel alive. Dancing is just a way to express myself and have someone alongside me. I love painting, cooking and reading. I adore romantic poetry. My friends consider me as the mom of the group. I’m loyal and I’ll always put other before me ( it’s a curse). If you need anything, honey I’m right here like a genie. I hopelessly devote myself to others. I LOVE taking care of others though, maybe it’s because that’s what I’ve been doing for majority of my life.

I Love cinema. Like deeply love cinema. I’m always up for a night or day full of movies and shows and being lazy on the couch or bed. My definition of Netflix and chill is to literally Netflix and chill, we are watching movies only! Will use quotes from movies on a daily basis and expect someone to get it and finish the quote. Kind of a introverted but I can be social if I know enough people in one space. I’m always up for adventure and thrill in life, like wanna go on a roller coaster? Heck yeah. Wanna dance? Aint gotta ask me twice. Try new things? Might be nervous but I’m up for it.

My standards for love and a relationship can be described as Melanie Martínez’s song High School Sweethearts.

Alright that’s it. Thank you and have a blessed day! <3

Thanks, you too 💚

I ship you with...

Wrecker!

You'd actually met Omega first, but once she introduced you to her brother Wrecker, the two of you were inseparable. You would write him love letters and make playlists for him, and he would shower you with compliments and support you in every aspect of your life. Once, he tried to write you a romantic poem back because he loved the ones you gave him, but it... didn't go as well as he wanted. When you asked him about it, he told you he wanted to make you feel the happiness he got when you gave him a poem or a playlist, but nothing was working. You reassured him that you felt his love in other ways, that his love was as unique as him.

One of Wrecker's many love languages is quality time, and he wants to spend it all with you. Sometiems you'll end up in the kitchen, attempting a new recipe (or maybe just dancing while some pasta is boiling away in the background). Other times, you're just relaxing on the couch, watching something on Netflix. If you're into it, he'll pull you into his lap and keep you close especially if you're watching a horror movie. Both you and he get super frustrated when Hunter has to drag Wrecker away because he needs help with something, but there's always the promise of hanging out again later.

Wrecker doesn't know much about mental illnesses in the clinical sense like Tech does, but he's really good at not only telling when you're not feeling well, but sussing out what the underlying issue is. He's very in touch with emotions (both his and yours), so he's usually able to tell if you're anxious, depressed, insecure, or any of the above. Wrecker doesn't like seeing you in any type of pain, so he will do anything he can to make you feel better. He'll sit with you, talk with you, make you some good, make sure you take your meds and/or get appointments scheduled (if applicable), etc. He isn't someone who does things halfway, and that includes loving you; making sure you feel your best is only a small fraction of that.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this one, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog 💚 it may take a little bit, but I'll get to it eventually!

[lost-girl-2021]

The Walking Dead

Okay, so I have (yet another) new obsession and I can't deal with it. Guys, I am so scared of zombies and scary stuff, but I love this show. And you want to know why I started watching it? I saw an edit of a fanfic. Is it over 200,000 words? Yes. Have I read all of it? Yes. I quite literally refresh my Ao3 page to check for updates every day (said fanfic is Future Ghosts by dieasthedevil on Ao3).

(Now, I promise I will finish Days Into Decades, I just also need to rnat about this new fic idea)

So, I usually don't do OC fics anymore, because I feel like they aren't as popular on Ao3 as they are on Wattpad and I prefer Ao3 (and feel like more people 14+ use Ao3 instead of Wattpad). And I legit skip half the zombie scenes because I only care about the plot (I'm being 100% rn). I also started at season 9, because I wanted to see Daryl and Negan on the same(ish) side and see the kids grown up (ish). (I promise I'm gonna watch it from 1-11 next, but I was too hyped to watch what I've already read in fanfic lol).

Anyways, despite my best efforts not to, I've started writing a new fic for TWD with an original character. And, I personally think it's not half bad. Idk where I'm going with it, but I do know it'd be set in season 9ish (also, nothing romantic between the oc and any of the characters, but maybe something between the oc and another oc, though I'd honestly prob kill him off eventually). So, for anyone still with me, here's some of what I've written so far.

— (snippet 1) —

“Are you tanning during the apocalypse?” A curious voice called out, startling her from her daydream. Jerking herself up, she had one hand on her knife and she turned to face the intruder.

He was kind of cute. If it wasn’t for the sweaty, blood-stained clothes and the eyebags. He could probably do with a shower too, judging by the state of his hair. She smiled over at him anyways, relaxing her grip on the blade.

“Might as well have some fun, right?” she asked, propping herself up on her elbows. “Can’t all be doom and gloom.”

“It’s— it’s dangerous to be out here.” He insisted, taking a step closer.

“Do you see any freaks?” She glanced around, nothing and nobody in sight.

“Not yet. But— but, it’s still dangerous. You shouldn’t let your guard down.”

“Who says I have?”

The man (barely, he was probably only a little older than her) looked lost, opening and closing his mouth like he couldn’t quite figure out what to say.

— (Snippet 2) —

“I should’ve locked you out.” She snapped. “Or, I should’ve let you in and then set the place on fire. I never should’ve trusted you, never should've helped you.”

“When have you ever trusted anyone, Skipper?” Carol asked, voice soft despite the accusation.

Her eyes darted to Daryl, thinking about quiet mornings spent hunting and the shared thread of orphaned siblings. She shook her head anyways, pushing back good memories of the cabin and the short time when she was actually happy in the end of the world. Who was she to think about any of these people as hers?

“I’m leaving at dawn.” She said in lieu of an answer, looking away from the both of them. “Will you keep an eye on P.J. for me?”

“You don’t need to leave— “

“I should, though.”

[juliathesuccubus]

Don't Panic

This... This can't be real... Right?

Looking at something so small that made such a big difference in her crappy mundane life. Between her fingers was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.

How was this even possible?! She didn't sleep with a human—her first and only time was with a monster! And there have been no records of human and monsters hybrids! How the hell did she get pregnant?! But... Say this was true, that right now, there is a magical monster bun in the oven. That would explain the strange stares from other monsters you get. Monsters can see souls. And the stares were a result from... Well... Something they didn't even think was possible, most likely.

"Shit... I really can't believe this. I'm... Like, legit pregnant. I'm... I'm gonna be a Mom. I... I should try to go to Grillby's. Maybe he can gimme some advice or maybe get in contact with the skeleton monster I was with?"

This wasn't a joke. Not at all. The monster doctor said it and taking 3 at home tests to be sure said it—pregnant. This is... Life now. This meana trying to find a new job and maybe a better place to live so the kid can grow up in a good and safe environment. But for right now, let's go to Grillby's to find info on where Baby Daddy went off to.

After a long shower, Julia threw on some clothes and with the note and black rose in hand, she heads out the door.

—

"You're... Pregnant?"

"Yeah. It, uh... The real deal. Grillby, please don't make that face, I'm trying my best to put on a brave one for my own sake..."

"You're pregnant with a boss monster's child. How is this—?"

"The skeleton monster I met that one night. We, uh, really hit it off and kinda... Had a one night stand situation thing. Eheheh... Grillby, you're making a face—what did I just say, dude?"

"Sorry, it's just... I didn't think Orion would be the type of monster to do that." Grillby sets down the glass and cloth on the bar.

"'Orion'? So that's his name? You know him Grillby?! Where is he? He needs to know this and... And what we should do—the monster doctor said with with pregnancy, both parents need to be present, especially in my case since I'm not a monster and the souling's survival relies on the monster parent providing magic!" Julia couldn't help but raise her voice as she grew more and more anxious. She didn't want to, but was already attached to the little souling. It was as if shd could feel what they felt. Confused. Concerned. Hungry. Tired. Where is Daddy?

"Julia, breathe... Orion is a regular here, but is probably on the job. He makes delieveries here and should be stopping by sometime today. Just sit down for a bit, relax, and I'll make you your usual with some extra magic. It's not much, but enough magic for you and your souling. I'll try to send Orion a message." Grillby guides Julia towards one of the booths to sit down and pats her shoulder before heading into the back.

—

After sometime, Julia lifted her head up immediately when she felt a pressure in the air and suddenly, she wasn't alone in the pub. Over by the bar, sitting or... Rather floating over the bar stool was a skeleton monster. Was... Was this the Orion she met that one night? Had to be. Dressed in that same ultra fluffy but sparkly looking hoodie. Those freckles that looked like pretty nebula, but... Something was... Off. Something felt off. Was this really the same skeleton? His... Eyelights are... Different. His... No, no, this had to be the same monster who rocked her world and knocked her up that night.

No time like the present.

Getting up, Julia makes her way over towards him. Her nerves getting worse as she felt each step she took forward getting heavier. But she has to do this. For her sake and their baby.

"Um. Excuse me. Orion?"

"that's my name, don't wear it out."

"Um do you... Remember me? We, uh, met a while back."

"hmm... nope, don't think so. not too many humans visit this grillby's and i think i'd remember a cute face like yours, kiddo."

...What? No, no, something is way off.

"No? We have met. I remember you distinctly. You tried comforting me when I was crying into my drink that night. We joked around and exchanged a few puns. I mean, yeah, we got kinda shitfaced, but... I remember you. I... You were my first and... And that night we... We had sex. I-I know it was a one night stand, but surely yo—"

"whoa whoa whoa!" Orion looked absolutely stunned and confused. His zygomatic bones flushing a mixture of blue and gold, bringing out his sparkly freckles more. "i-i dunno who you slept with, but i know for sure it wasn't me! i swear! you got me confused for someone else..."

"What?! You're gonna tell me you got a twin or something?"

"... depends on your definition of what a twin is, because that's... heh..." Orion shrugs, sweat already beading and running down his skull.

"..."

With a frustrated groan, she pulls out the note and black rose.

"You left this note and rose for me the morning after remember?! Dude, please...don't be a dick. A little souling's life is on the line here!" Julia snaps, her voice already cracked and tears threatening to start running down her cheeks.

Orion looked over the note and rose before looking at Julia, or rather... The small souling she was carrying before he had a look of shock and nearly slipped off the barstool.

"... n o. there is no way that's possible. you said the skeleton you met that night looked like me? are you sure? nothin felt off?" Orion looked directly at Julia, taking on a serious tone.

"Yes. But... Wait, are you seriously going to tell me it wasn't you?"

"i know it wasn't me—i had to work overtime at my job and make a delivery to underfell's grillby's that night." Orion pulls out his phone and shows his route of deliveries that week.

"What the f... Then... WHO IN THE HELL DID I SLEEP WITH?!" Julia steps back, panicking.

"...i think you just slept with the most dangerous monster in the entire multiverse..."

"Who...?"

"nightmare. the god of negativity." Orion looked very uneasy, and the faint rattling of bones could be heard as he continued. "...but the most concerning thing is that souling. they shouldn't even be here."

"How fucking DARE—"

"no, no! i mean, that souling existing shouldn't be possible because as far as anyone who knows about nightmare... nightmare shouldn't be able to have kids. his corruption makes him infertile. yet, here you are, pregnant with his kid." Orion lets out a nervous chuckle, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

Julia was stunned. She had to take a moment to just... Collect and absorbed everything that was told to her to try and to understand. And once she did...

She fainted.

[Previous: A Black Rose]

[First: What A Night]

[miiscreants]

When my sudden urge to clean everything turns into a big mess because I see one thing and I stop one task to do another and then see one thing and stop that other task to start another. Give up and go shower to relax only to see I still have the mess. So now I’m overwhelmed while wet….

This has got to be a sign of adhd?

Edit: I legit feel like that one scene on Malcom in the Middle where Hal tries to do one thing but a chain of mini tasks happens.

[anonymous-dentist]

If it counts for anything, I’m no stranger to anxiety and stress and burnout. I have anxiety disorders, I know some ways to help manage anxiety and stress.

These won’t work for everyone, but here’s what I’ve been told by doctors I’ve been to, and here’s what I’ve figured out by myself over my life:

Cold water will shock your body, so cold showers or even a splash of cold water on your face will take your mind off of the Bad for even just a moment

Find ways to try and distract yourself. I personally exercise in the mornings to shake off the Morning Bad, and I like cooking my own meals to distract myself from the Waiting Bad

Exercise itself has been shown to release stress. There are plenty of exercise routines for people of all body types and abilities. Personally, I do that Ring Fit game, but I also take walks around the neighborhood, play with my family’s dogs, clean the house. There are exercise videos all over the place online, even for exercises you can do while sitting if you aren’t able to stand for long periods of time

Go outside. Even if you’re just going out to sit on your porch, that’s fresh air and sunlight. And sunlight is important! Getting 10 minutes of sunlight a day actually helps you sleep! Seeing nature will remind you of what really matters: yourself, and the world around you

Cry. Crying isn’t embarrassing! It’s important! If you feel like you need to cry, go somewhere private and just cry. Same goes for screaming, though I recommend screaming into a pillow if only for your ears’ sakes

Try and get into a relaxing hobby of some kind. It’s easier to take out your stress doing those than you’d think. Like, if you bake like I do, it’s really satisfying to punch the shit out of your bread dough.

This goes double for if you find a podcast or a long video to distract your brain with while you’re doing your relaxing hobby. My sister crochets very angrily and she catches up on Vinesauce vods as she does so

If you’re having trouble sleeping because of anxiety, legit what you need to do is just tire yourself out. If you aren’t asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and do something until you’re tired again. Eventually, your brain will just. Shut off.

But if that’s a bit too hard, which it sometimes can be!, sometimes all you need is something to fill your brain with that isn’t your own thoughts. White noise is great for that, or brown noise, or classical music, or just anything that brings you comfort. When I have bad anxiety spells, I can’t sleep unless I have something filling the back of my brain up

If you can find these affordably, weighted blankets and sleep eye masks are GREAT! My weighted blanket is about 25 pounds and, after being put on it by my old therapist, I’ve legit gotten better sleep than I have in my life. I got my eye mask from 5 Below, but they can easily be ordered online

Coloring!!! It might sound stupid, but there’s a reason why there are so many adult coloring books on the market rn. It’s just relaxing. Put on some music and color if you’re having a Bad Moment

Get a journal or a self care app or a something you can vent in and think in and release your thoughts into. I have a physical journal, and I have this self care app called Finch that’s completely free and gives you a little bird to take care of in exchange for you doing things like taking meds, eating breakfast, or even just getting out of bed.

Take comfort in familiar things. They’re comforting for a reason. Just make sure they aren’t related to the thing that’s giving you anxiety, that’s counterproductive

And, most importantly:

Have a support network you can talk to when it’s Bad-Bad. Your family, your personal friends. People you know IRL. Actual therapists if you can afford them. A support group. Nobody you don’t absolutely 100% trust. Support groups are vital. Even if it’s just one person to start with, that’s one more person besides yourself to hear you think, and they can usually help sort your brain out

I hope at least some of these ideas can help. There are thousands of anxiety-relieving tips online, and there are even more in books at your local library.

It’ll get better. Anxiety, despite what you may feel like right now, is not a forever thing. It’s terrifying, but it’s also just as temporary as any other thought process. It comes and goes, but it is not eternal.

My heart goes out to every single member of the Quackity Studios team, both former and current, that have had their lives ruined due to the negligent and abusive behavior of their higher-ups. I’m heartbroken for you both as a fellow creative and as a human being with a goddamn moral backbone. The lack of respect I’ve seen accounts of over the past several weeks appalls me, and that’s what this whole thing boils down to. Respect.

Respect has not been given to Quackity Studios employees. No communication, no professionalism. Working conditions that are illegal in several countries. Lack of accountability and action. The employees deserve better than to have their hard work and their passion and love for the project wasted working for people who just don’t seem to give a damn.

If there are any Quackity Studios employees following me who haven’t spoken out of fear or because of that freaky bogus NDA, just know that it will get better. You are all massively talented individuals and you WILL get that big break you’ve been waiting for, I just know it!!

There isn’t much the rest of us can do but support the admins during this time, but I wish you all the best in the world. You are worth so much more than what you have gotten, and your minds are beautiful. Don’t let the burnout and stress get to you. For this, just like everything else, is just a moment in time. It’ll be better soon, and we’ll all be supporting you until soon happens.

[haldenlith]

Coexist

You know, I’ve never seen anyone address just how difficult it is to live with other people, especially if you are suffering from mental health issues. You’re already struggling to find equilibrium in living with yourself, but then you have to deal with these other fuckers who are completely independent from you, living under the same roof, with their own habits, problems, and agendas. Having roommates is legitimately exhausting if you’re not compatible with them.

I’m serious.

If you’re someone who works a night schedule with day roommates, the likelihood that you’ll get woken up at one point, or wake them up, is pretty high, especially if one of the parties involved isn’t very considerate or are just generally loud people. If you like having a perfectly manicured, clean space, and find that you, unfortunately, live with slobs, or at the very least people with considerably more... lax standards, you’re going to be stressed out by fighting a constant uphill battle of the common areas being a mess, and constantly arguing about it being a problem. There’s even just the general dealing with the other person, be it literally dealing with them in the kitchen, when you just wanted to get a drink and not talk to anyone, but of course they want to chat you up, to less direct instances of them having their friends over, or, in one of my unfortunate past experiences, having significant others over and, well, having loud sex.

I feel like it’s like getting married with none of the benefits, not even the fun party bit, a lot of the time.

It blows my mind that when it comes to moving, people just throw out the casual “Oh just get a roomie” suggestion like it’s nothing. Aside from the dangers presented of rooming with complete strangers, there’s all of the above items, tacked on with the ever present danger that they’ll just vanish and leave you hanging with the bills and the lease. I’ve had that happen to way too many friends.

As said, this is all way worse when you’re dealing with issues, when you’re, basically, unwell. Case in point, I recognize a great deal of why I have such a hard time improving, or even just managing my anxiety and depression, is largely because I already don’t have the energy to deal with average day to day shit, but then I’m dealing with the fact that I am very much in that “neat freak living with a slob” scenario. I can’t cook because the kitchen is always dirty, and I have to hype myself up just make food without the added shit, and when the kitchen ISN’T dirty, it’s actually worse, as the OTHER roommate is half blind but insists on trying to clean house anyway. Nine times out of ten, I have rewash everything when she does dishes, as they’ll still be oily and caked with food, but put away in the cabinets. It’s a constant guessing game of “Is this clean?” when I grab a dish or a glass, or even a fork, unless I personally cleaned it. It is exhausting and a lot of times I just eat some ramen, or a meal bar. I know it’s bad for me, I know I need to eat more, but I legit don’t have the energy.

Or, you know, there’s the fact that being social just doesn’t happen. People don’t get invited here, these days. I’m ashamed of this place and I don’t want people seeing that I live here.

Like, seriously, living with people is incredibly hard if you don’t mesh with them, and you can’t just up and move out. That requires money, time, planning... I just wish more thought was given to the casual “Just get roommates” thing, or even to the general idea of cohabitation, because when you get it wrong, it grinds you down.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Day 17 - Somnophilia & Blowjobs]

Pairing: sub!Namjoon x soft Domme!Reader

Kinks: consensual somnophilia, blowjob, nippleplay, finger sucking, body worship, praise, tears, clothed cock worship, blindfold, they are so in love

Wordcount: 3k

a/n: besties, sub!joon is now my new official obsession uhm? help? Enjoy besties he is legit the bestest boy 💛

Being a self-publishing author means that your hours are long and the days at home are way too little. Your husband understands, as his own job as a music producer keeps him terribly busy and often far away from home, but you still can’t help but feel shitty for always having to leave. 

Tonight however, you are finally coming home again after a month-long business trip. The hour is way past midnight when you enter your house. Until last November, you and Namjoon still lived in an apartment in the city, but with your careers finally taking off, you were finally able to afford your dream house right at the nature-heavy outskirts of the city. Namjoon has been busy filling your house with artworks and wooden furniture while you have been busy staying away far too much.

But not anymore. You will finally stay at home for the rest of the year, looking forward to it greatly.

You don’t call out for your husband when you come home, knowing very well that he will be fast asleep. So you abandon your luggage by the shoe rack and go straight for the kitchen for a light snack. The flight took way too long for you not to get hungry. Once the snack has been successfully consumed, you make your way to the bathroom, admiring all the new artwork you meet on your way. You can't wait to talk about it with Namjoon, you are sure he has the greatest stories to tell about all of them.

The shower you take feels relaxing and like everything you ever needed, leaving you with a feeling of intense comfort. And then it was finally time for you to meet your husband.

Namjoon, just as you had figured, is sleeping soundly, wearing his sleeping mask because he seemed to have been too lazy to close the blinds.

You appreciate his laziness, not only for allowing you to maneuver through the room successfully but also for giving you an opportunity to look at your sweetheart. 

You sit down at the edge of his side, placing your arm around him. 

Namjoon has his legs pulled to his chest and one hand under the pillow. His mouth is open, letting free the smallest snores. You can’t see his eyes, but you know that they are oh so pretty. 

"Hello my love, I’m back", you whisper, running the back of your hand down his cheek, "I missed you like crazy", you say, leaning down to kiss his temple. 

Namjoon mumbles in his sleep. It was incoherent, but sounded happy. Maybe he was greeting you. 

You kiss his temple a second time, then lift yourself to finally get into bed with him. You have just managed to get under the duvet when Namjoon rolls over in his sleep and drapes his arm over you. 

"Oh my god, baby", you almost squeal because of how cute he was, but control yourself to instead hug him back. His head slips into your chest, his back rumbles in his content little mumble and his fingers come resting on your lower back. 

"My baby", you sigh, hugging him tightly, "oh my big, soft baby. I missed you." 

Namjoon whimpers softly, nuzzling into you. You are aware that he is still asleep. But it makes you feel so much. To know that Namjoon searches for you the second you are back in your bed and the fact that he will chase you with soft whimpers even when deep asleep, breaks something inside you. You feel so guilty and terrible for ever abandoning him for so long, so happy to finally be back again and so desperate to make it up to him.

You push Namjoon to his back as gently as possible, placing yourself halfway on top of him and with your leg between his thighs. 

"I'm sorry", you whisper, "I'm sorry for taking so long", you breathe, rolling his head to the side gently to kiss up and down his neck. 

Namjoon sighs in his sleep, lips parting and never closing again.

You know that you are allowed to touch him. You and Namjoon had a long and thorough conversation about somnophilia and whether or not this was an enjoyable kink for both of you. You unanimously came to the decision that you indeed loved it both and just two days after that conversation, Namjoon woke you up with the most mind numbing, pussy-wetting head ever. Ever since then, you regularly wake each other for sex. Sometimes it is simply for a quick midnight wank, other times it serves as a sweet morning wake up call, other times it's the result of your wettest dreams and most of the times it is the desperate craving for another after a long business trip. 

Just like tonight. You are desperate, oh so desperate, for him. 

You abandon his neck to kiss down his collarbones, doing so with your eyes closed in bliss. His skin is softer than you remember, tasting oh so sweet. His pecs feel bigger under your lips, making you roll your hips against his thigh. Even that feels bigger than a month ago, grinding right against your sensitive clit. He is becoming so strong these days. Bear in mind, he will always stay your sweet baby, but you can’t deny that Namjoon's tits feel especially meaty tonight.

"So sexy", you murmur, massaging them with eager fingers, "so big. They’re so big all of a sudden", you add, kissing your way right along his underboob before moving on to his nipples. 

"Ah", the sound he lets out is still distorted in obvious sleep, but it manages to make your pussy wet nonetheless. Sucking on his pretty nipple, you massage the other, basking in how swollen they already feel.

Namjoon writhes slightly, letting out another sound. He must be caught in a deep sleep, because despite the very obvious pleasure you bring him, he continues slumbering. 

"So sexy", you sigh, slipping off his nipple to kiss down his soft tummy, "oh Joonie, you’re so pretty", you say and whimper, holding his waist between your hands as you suck hickeys onto his lower tummy. 

Namjoon moans softly, lips opening and closing and cock throbbing in his boxer shorts. The movement manages to make it grind against your chin. 

You lift your lips, now gawking down at the big bulge. 

"Fuck baby", you press out, placing your hand over his cock to rub it softly. 

"Ah mhm", Namjoon moans, cock throbbing under your palm. You look up at his face, realising that he was still sleeping. Poor boy, he must feel so desperate right now. 

You look back at this cock, wrapping your fingers around it as best as possible to glide them right along the shape of him. His boxers prevent it from standing free, forcing it to lie against his thigh and stretch the cotton fabric. It looks so big and hard. You touch his tip, rubbing it between your two fingers. 

Namjoon whimpers, squeezing his thighs together and failing miserably as you sit right between them.

"Cute, so cute", you mumble to yourself before lowering your lips to his cock. You kiss every inch of it, sighing from how nice it feels against your lips. Even if fabric covers it, the shape of him is already enough to still some of your aching hunger. 

Namjoon begins panting when you reach his tip to suck it right through the fabric. Your hand is on his balls, rubbing them slowly. Your eyes are closed, burning in grateful tears. You can taste him through the fabric. You missed the flavour so much. 

You tasted many cocks before Namjoon came into your life. Many, many terrible ones. But Namjoon is different. Not only is he a passionately clean person with a very hygenic cock, he also tastes so very sweet. Maybe it is because you really love him, but you genuinely think that Namjoon tastes oh so sweet. 

"I missed this", you croak, "fucking missed this like crazy", you rasp, kissing your way up his cock to the hem of his boxers. You tug them down as best as possible, revealing nothing more than his well groomed bush of pubes to you. You kiss them because you’re so crazy for him, inhaling his scent like an addict. 

"Fuck baby, you smell so good", you groan, trying somehow to get him outside. 

You manage after some struggle, holding his big cock by its base as your hungry eyes race over it. 

It looks so pretty in the moonlight.

His veins are swollen and throbbing, his tip is glistening and oh so dark in desperation. Truly, it is so much darker than the rest of his pretty cock, letting you know that his sleepy body is burning up in pleasure. 

You give it to him gladly, opening your mouth as far as possible to take him as deep as you can. You can’t waste any time easing into it, all you wanted for the past month was your husband’s pretty cock. You want to suck it until you're dizzy and his soul has left his body. Suck it, lick it, fuck it. You need it. Want it. Crave it. 

Your hand is around his balls, wrist aching from getting it bended weirdly by his shorts. Your lips are stretching around his girthy shaft, his tongue is swirling right around it. You spill some tears of happiness, moaning around his cock even if that sends an aggressive jerk through him.

"A-ah", Namjoon moans loudly, arching his back before dropping it. He flinches and gasps loudly, making you moan again because you know that means he is finally awake.

You begin bopping your head up and down his cock, eyes glued to his face even if the position is difficult to hold. 

"What the fuck?" Namjoon croaks out, deep voice three octaves lower than normally. 

"Mhhm", you moan loudly, squeezing his balls. 

"What the fuck?" Namjoon groans, ripping off his eye mask to look down at where he feels the hottest aching. He whimpers, face contorting in both happiness and pleasure, "you're back", he gets out. 

You slip off, flashing him a smile, "I'm back baby, I’m back", you say, fighting against your happy tears.

"Oh", he gets out and with his hands cupping your cheeks tugs you up his body. He giggles happily. You giggle just as happily, stumbling into the happiest, most desperate kiss ever. Hands grip the other, fingers are gluttonous in their touch, tongues waste no time finding each other. All you need and want is to kiss each other. You couldn’t do so for thirty long days and now it feels like heaven. 

"I'm so happy", he gets out, squeezing your head softly, "when, when did you come back?"

"An hour ago? Don’t know", you sob softly, "I missed you so much."

"Me too", he says, pulling you back into the kiss. 

You giggle, cradling him against your chest. Namjoon giggles, hugging you oh so tightly. He is so happy to have you back. This is all he craved for since you left him. 

The kiss breaks because you need to look at his face again. You caress his cheeks, eyebrows, temples and cute button nose before tracing his lips. They are puffy and soft from kissing. 

His eyes race over your face, his fingers trace your cheeks.

"I fucking missed you", you press out, wiping his happy tears.

"I missed you too", he whispers, drying your own remnants of tears.

"You've got new art."

"I did. Do you like it?" 

You nod your head, "you've gotta tell me all about it tomorrow, baby", you say nuzzling into his neck for one kiss before you shimmy down his body again back to his cock. You want to taste him.

Namjoon moans softly, lifting his hips so you can finally tug down his shorts. The piece of clothing gets thrown to the side. Then you kiss your way up his inner thigh, guiding your lips with your fingers.

"Ah, please", Namjoon moans, parting his legs. 

"So strong. Joonie, you became so strong while I was gone", you say, kneading his thigh.

"I worked out", he gets out then retorts to moaning again. One month without you left him so desperate for your touches. He jerked off a lot, but nothing compared to you. All masturbating did, was make him even needier for you. And now that he finally has you again, kissing his inner thigh, Namjoon swears that he is on fire. 

You trail your kisses from his inner thigh to his balls, taking them between your lips to suck on them gently. 

Namjoon bucks hls hips up, legs closing around your head in reaction. 

Chuckling, you force them open again, making him lie them back down.

"Relax baby, everything's okay", you soothe him, caressing his thighs as you sink him back into your mouth.

"Oh god", Namjoon croaks, throwing his hands over his face to moan into them. He throbs inside you, thighs trembling and hips trying to chase you. He tastes even sweeter than before, courtesy of being awake and actively taking in the sensations. And how he takes them in, gasping and wheezing for air as his body squirms desperately just for you. 

"I missed this", you tell him, flicking your tongue over his frenulum while jerking off his shaft.

"Please slow please", he begs, rubbing his hands over his face before burying them in his own messy hair. 

"Why? Is someone sensitive?" you tease, taking him back inside. You let his girth glide over your tongue, moving your head up and down slowly whilst massaging his heavy balls. 

"Yes, ah", Namjoon arches his back, "p-please it's been too long."

You merely moan him around him, reaching up with your unoccupied hand to play with his nipples instead.

"Please", Namjoon croaks, twisting the pillow, "please, please s-slow."

"Joonie", you slip off of him, "I am slow, you’re just too sensitive", you say in a faux scolding voice, fingers busy with flicking his right nipple.  

"I can't help it. I, I didn’t have you for a month", he whines and pouts, reaching down to touch your shoulder, "please slow", he whispers. 

"Okay, I’ll go slow", you say, taking him back inside to fuck his cock with minimal movements.

Namjoon sighs softly, eyes glued to your lips and mouth agape in bliss. His hand slips from your shoulder to instead dance up to your fingers on his nipple. He touches your wrist softly, drawing little circles on your skin. He doesn’t pull your hand away however, and something let's you know that his touch was actually meant to keep you close. 

You purr softly, still moving slowly but making sure to slip more and more inside, massaging his balls as you do. When Namjoon finally realises what exactly you were doing, it was already too late and you managed to take him all the way to the back of your throat.

"Oh my god", he presses out, head dropping into the pillow, "p-please slow, please." 

You merely chuckle, shaking your head in disbelief. The movement shifts his cock even deeper and Namjoon makes the most desperate sound ever. He touches the back of your head, hips chasing you in an involuntary thrust. One you take with a grateful moan, throat clenching right around his sensitive tip. 

"Fuck, oh fuck. Oh god", he chants, "oh-" he stops talking to instead grip your wrist and tug your hand to his face. He wraps his lips around two of your fingers, whimpering loudly.

You almost pass out. This is so hot. Your husband is such a good boy. You suck him harder, head finally moving faster and moans growing in volume. 

Namjoon mewls around your digits, sucking on them harshly while his eyes are squeezed shut tightly. If he didn’t do that right now, if he didn’t stuff his own mouth with your fingers, he would scream.

All that is keeping him sane is the heaviness of your digits. Namjoon is losing himself and he can’t stop it from happening. 

He throbs inside your mouth, feeding you the distinct taste of his approaching high. You welcome it hungrily, licking it right off his burning tip before sinking back down and fucking him quickly. 

Namjoon bites down on your fingers just slightly, moaning oh so loudly and arching his back. 

His thighs try to fall closed, his balls tense in your hand. 

You growl, throat filled with his girth and spit running down his shaft. 

Namjoon squeaks and then you feel his hot cum shoot down your throat. You take it happily, sucking him hungrily to really get every last drop. 

And Namjoon is writhing, sobbing around your fingers while his head pounds and his limbs feel weak. 

He drops with an aggressive arch of his back, slipping your fingers free to wheeze for air. He feels changed. This orgasm just changed him.

You slip off of him, lying his spent cock on his tummy as gently as possible, before kissing your way up to his lips.

Namjoon lets you kiss him gladly, moaning softly at the taste of himself lingering on your tongue. He probably would have kissed you for the rest of the night, but you break it before he can, cupping his heated cheeks.

"I love you", you say.

"I love you too", he rasps tiredly.

"This was amazing."

"Yeah, it was amazing", he agrees and smiles softly, "thank you."

Your eyes light up in fondness, "god Joonie, you are the cutest person ever. I fucking love you like crazy", you say, climbing on top of his lap to attack him with kisses.

Namjoon takes them with sweet giggles, hands falling to your hips and heart racing like crazy.

"Your pussy's so wet", he mumbles into the kiss. 

"I'm so horny", you answer him.

"Then use me", he whispers, "please."

"Fuck baby, I’m gonna fuck you all night", you moan, shimmying up his body until his face rests under your pussy, waiting desperately to be used.

[arrogantsonofabiscuit]

How do they cuddle up to you

Feat:- Sakusa, Kuroo, Bokuto & Atsumu

A/n:- why does my every single post consists of either Kuroo or Sakusa anyways I love them<3 . I don’t know how long it has been since I last wrote . But I really hope you guys like it! I am planning to write again as I have gotten my vacations! And I am done with my second year. It was so long and hectic damn.

Genre:- Fluff and mentions of pet names (Bokuto being a bit insecure )

♡Sakusa, Training was brutal as always, he wanted to just come home and cuddle with you, but you had other plans. You were busy playing games on the computer as you were bored.Omi enters the bedroom with a pout prominent on his face as he wanted all your attention on him and nobody else (y/n what’s wrong with you???? Give Omi some loveee). “Hey love how are you?” You ask as you take one side of the headphones off. “I am fine just extremely tired” you hmm as he replies and resume playing the game. He was not having any of it today, he takes a quick shower , rushing all his skin care routine and legit drops his entire body on you. “O-Omi??” “What?” “If you want attention you can ask me you know?” You chuckle as he hides his face on your shoulder. You turn off your gaming system and get up from the chair and gesture your tall grumpy boyfriend towards you. He smiles as he cuddles you closer on the bed nuzzling his head on your chest. “That’s what you wanted?” “It’s even better”.

☆

♡Kuroo, he was out with Kenma for celebrating his first win in a gaming tournament. You were home thinking what to watch next. As you were deciding what to watch your eyes started to feel heavy and you fell asleep ok the couch with the tv remote in your hand. After an hour or so Kuroo opens your shared apartment door and he quietly places his shoes on the rack and locks the door. When he was about to leave the drawing room he saw your sleeping form with the tv remote about to fall off from your hand. He chuckles lightly and kisses your forehead and places the remote on the coffee table.He changes into his comfort clothes and brings a blanket with him. He slowly settles right beside you and wraps his arm around you. “Tetsu?” “Hmm?” “Welcome back” you place a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips and nuzzle closer to him. “Want to watch something tetsu?” “Nah I just wanna cuddle and admire the beauty right next to me” he pinches your cheeks as you were blushing.

☆

♡Bokuto,You were cheering for his team he was extremely happy and in his zone. He hits the last shot and they win the match. His teammates were celebrating their win and decided to call it a day. Bokuto enters the changing room and changes into his regular attire and pulls you by your waist. “Did you see my last shot??” He looks at you expectantly and sees you smile and kiss his cheek. “You were so cool baby! What do you want to do today? “Can we order take out and relax watching some movies?” He asks you as he opens the door for you. “Anything you want” you smile. As you guys entered the house, you order some takeout and relax on the couch. You felt like someone was staring at you. You look at your boyfriend only to realise he has a pout prominent on his face and he was fidgeting with his hands. “Kou? What’s wrong?” “Nothing” he looks away. “Kou? You don’t need to ask for cuddling you know? I am all yours. C’mere.” You open your arms and hug him tightly placing butterfly kisses on his face. “I love you y/n” “I know, I love you too, and don’t even think about getting up now” you huff. “I wasn’t planning to” he smirks.

☆

♡Atsumu,

You guys were out on a date , he had finally gotten a day off and he wanted to take you out (not that he wanted you to wear that one piece which he got you the other day). “Yer the most prettiest Angel face” “and you are the most handsome guy I know, you know?” “I kinda know” he kisses your cheek and opens the exit door for you. He opens the car door of your side and makes you sit on your seat. You giggle as his head hits the car door . “Sh-“ and he laughs it off. As you guys were driving by you play the radio and start singing to some songs.he gently grabs your hand and places it on his thighs (sir, that’s not legal to do 😭) You enter your apartment and place the bouquet of flowers in the vase and place your keys next to it. You guys quickly change into your comfy clothes and turn on the tv to watch a series which you always watch together. Atsumu brings some popcorn along with a cold drink you take a sip and place it on the nightstand. Atsumu looks over and keeps his drink next to yours. As the time passes by you realise that it was only you who was watching the show whereas Atsumu was slowly falling asleep. You smile and him and mess his hair to which he pouts and looks at you with his eyes filled with sleep. “Angel face..” “hmm?” “Can I rest my head on your shoulder?” “Only that” you tease. “Can we cuddle?” He asks as his cheeks were blushing slightly. You start playing with his hair lulling him to sleep and soon after you fall asleep too hugging each other tightly.

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it <3.

. Take care and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

[tsintotwo]

[59 Hours, Part 6. (Part 5 here). Jake (Sweetbitter) x Reader. Guys, this is done. Finished. This last part is a bit long, and expect a bunch of angst for obvious reasons. I legit only had one idea for one scene when I started this, and it turned into a literal novella- a journey I enjoyed. Thank you so much if you’ve been with it thus far, reading and engaging, and let me know if this wrapped up okay for you.]

Hour 39

‘For fuck’s sake.’, mutters Jake, as the apartment plunges into darkness for the fourth time within the hour.

It started happening just when you were finally getting ready to settle down for the night. After being together, both of you had collapsed in place on the floor. The shadow panic from your past was trying to pull you under again, so you held onto Jake. It was more desperate clutching than holding, and you were aware of that, but you couldn’t stop yourself, because what if he pushes me away now, he didn’t even want me, just games, he’s angry with me anyway, he hates me, he’ll shake me off and walk away disgusted right now, please no- but Jake didn’t do any of that. He just hugged you close, catching his breath, slowly relaxing into your arms.

There wasn’t much talking. You cleaned yourselves up a while later. In addition to all the other things, it was already past any sort of reasonable bedtime (for you anyway, you’re sure Jake is the late-nights-late-mornings kinda dude), so you should’ve been exhausted. And you were, but you still felt wound up and restless. 

Truth is, as soon as Jake and you'd broken apart, you felt his absence all over you, with your whole being. You didn't want to let go of him. And when you physically did, when you weren’t holding him, touching him, you wanted to feel that you still could- that anytime you reached out, he’d reach back, and it would be as easy as breathing. It’s what you wanted because it’s what you felt- the amount of closeness you felt with him was powerful without rhyme or reason, wreaking havoc within you like the blizzard did in the city yesterday.

But Jake- how did he feel? The fight and then the intimacy – it was tangled, and complicated, and now you didn’t know where you stood with him. And you were scared, so scared, because you were thinking- what if he doesn’t feel the same way?, and then, but what if he does? What then?

You tried to compose yourself as Jake walked back into the bedroom. It didn’t matter that as soon as you saw him again you wanted to go right back into his arms. He deserved space, and maybe you needed distance too. Needed to clear your head, think. Though how any sort of thinking was going to help you anymore, you didn’t know. You were just opening your mouth to tell him you were fine with the couch tonight- will he shrug and go to sleep on his own, will he throw me a look, then pull me into the bed with him- and that’s when the lights went out.

The power lines are glitching. You lit the two candles you got from the Chinese takeout people and were getting ready for a trial like last night- putting on clothes, socks- Jake also doing the same- when the lights came back. Then they went out again ten minutes later. It’s been happening in irregular intervals since. Something must have gone pop in a shower of sparks somewhere, and they’re trying to fix it now.

You guess you could still go to sleep. Turn off the lights, keep all the clothes on, curl into your couch, and when you started feeling so hot it woke you up, you’d know the heating was on and power came back for real (or if you started feeling so cold your feet felt like they were going to fall off, maybe you’d ask Jake to please share his bed and blanket). But Jake sits in his bed, leaning back, one knee up, one stretched, absently pulling on the strings of his hoodie, looking like he has no intention of sleeping tonight. So you sit quietly on the couch too, not knowing what to do.

But just taking some time to relax, just being in your own space and watching Jake be in his has calmed you somewhat. The chaos of your feelings is settling into a deep blue harmony, and the one outstanding note says end, finish, over- this is your last night here, one of your last few hours with Jake. You’ll be gone tomorrow, never see him again. And soon as that happens, you’ll probably dissipate from his mind and memory like the smoke of his cigarettes, because why would he bother to remember you? All you did was try to meddle in business that’s not yours. You’ve known him for two days- what gave you the right to charge him about how he handles his relationships and feelings?

So while you’re still here, maybe you should make sure to set things right. So that if he ever thinks of you, he won’t feel like shoving the thought away the next second- you hope.

‘I said things maybe I shouldn’t have.’, you say, gathering the courage finally. ‘I’m sorry, Jake.’,

‘Are you?’, he is looking out the window, even though it’s just a blotted square and the only thing to see through it is dark gray nothing.

You take a deep breath, ‘I am if I hurt you, made you feel bad with the way I said them. I-I wanted to-‘, you stop. It’s hard for you to make this apology because while you are sorry if you hurt him, you don’t actually think you were wrong about any of the things you said, and you do still think hearing them- maybe in a better way than you told it- was necessary for him.

‘I wanted you to know that talking to people about deep things isn’t so bad, and you gotta do it sometimes. I guess I did that the worst possible way, and I’m sorry.‘

‘Hm’, Jake sits up straighter, leans towards you slightly from his position on the bed, ‘so tell me, exactly how sorry were you when you couldn’t stop moaning and scr-‘

‘Jake!’, you stop him, blushing in the dark, and see him smile in the flickering orange glow of the candles on his bedside table. He’s making jokes, and you’re relieved beyond anything else- he doesn’t hate you. ‘No, I’m not sorry about that part.’, you confess.

He nods slightly, ‘Good.’ Then he sighs, ‘And I do have people that I talk to. So, whatever, you don’t need to worry.’ He doesn’t mean it in a snarky way, he’s just letting you know.

‘You mean Simone.’, you say before you can stop yourself.

‘Yes.’, he’s watching you, wary, and oh, God, oh, God, here you go again.

‘Have you told her about me yet?’, you ask.

He looks away, not answering.

‘Are you going to?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Why? She’s your best friend, best confidante- you just said that.’

‘She doesn’t need to know everything-‘

‘Jake-’ you realize your pulse rate is rising, and try to calm yourself down. If you’re doing this, you aren’t botching it like last time. ‘I get that this- me being here- might not be such a big event for you that you’d want to promote it everywhere. But if you’re talking about what you did for the two days stuck at home, and you don’t even mention me, that’s weird-’

‘Oh, yeah, maybe I’ll mention you. Tell everyone I fucked a random girl in my apartment. They haven’t heard that enough times, I’m sure they’ll be riveted-‘

He’s doing it again, retreating and hitting back, trying to hurt whoever tries to peer too close- but you know what, you’re not backing down this time, you’re not losing your calm, because if he can say his things, you can say yours too, can’t you?

‘Yeah, that’s what you’ll say. But you won’t say how you liked it when I cooked for you or how nice that conversation was, you won’t say that you had me in your bed but not for sex- you found peace with me holding you, you won’t say how you felt when I touched and kissed every inch of you and it wasn’t just because I wanted your body, or how you felt when you did the same to me. You won’t say how easy it is to talk to me or even to be with me in silence when you’re not pulling away. You won’t say any of that, to anyone, and not to Simone.’

You can hear Jake’s breathing from here, can make out his chest rising and falling with the effort of it. Then a sudden harsh glare blinds both of you for a moment- power is back again.

As you both blink, adjusting to the light, you take deep breaths. Where did your resolve go- that you wouldn’t do this? Jake has lived his life without you this far and he will for the rest of it, where do you, a two-day stranger- figure into this? Just because he makes you feel things you haven’t in a long while, or ever, you can’t hope it’s the same for him. Nothing that happened in this apartment was meant to last, was it? How you feel- just push it down, bury it under, and go on to your real life, because this is what you do- the sensible thing.

But is it sensible to ignore what’s right in front of you, what you can clearly see- that however he feels about you, it’s not nothing, that you have an effect on him just as he has one on you? Is it sensible to try spending the rest of your life forgetting a person and regretting how you could have tried- if not to have them, then to have them be in a place they deserve to be?

And you’re not you in this apartment, you’re someone else. You’re reckless. You don’t calculate, don’t make the best plans. You rush in headfirst, you fall dizzyingly, you defy, you hope. So what if you didn’t give up just yet, even if you don’t know what it is that you’re trying to save? What if you wanted more, even if it meant you have to fight tooth-and-claws for it? Maybe there's nothing to gain, but you've got nothing to lose.

You go and sit on the foot of Jake’s bed. Talking to people is your job, and while survey questionnaires might be the same for everyone you talk to, the exact way of asking the questions is up to you. Everyone responds to a different style, and with Jake, you have to take every bit of care you can.

‘Jake’, you are calm and steady, imploring softly, ‘I’m just trying to understand, please. Just a few simple questions that I have- would you answer? It’s okay if you don’t, but please try. When you said you had the idea for a business, did you tell Simone right away?’

The pause is long enough that you think he won’t answer. But then he says, ‘No. I told her when I wanted to sell the house. She needed to know…’

‘Okay. And you were telling me about how you don’t like to visit home, but she insists that you go?’

‘It’s not fair for her to go alone either. It’s our house, if she’s going-‘

‘What would she do if she found you like I found you last night? Bad trip?’, you hold your breath, this is a touchy one. But Jake answers like he doesn’t have to think, ‘Take care of me, then call me a fucking idiot for swallowing that stuff alone at home’. He wasn’t alone, but you guess he means not in a group or having a party.

‘So she’d judge you for it?’, you ask.

Jake frowns, ‘It’s not judging, we can say that stuff to each other. Whatever.’

‘And if the whole thing was reversed? You found her in her apartment, alone, having a bad trip? Would you call her a fucking idiot?’

‘Wh- no! She’s not an idiot, if she did something like that, that’d mean something was seriously messed up-‘

‘So she is not an idiot, but you are, for the same thing? Jake, is that what you believe?’

Jake’s face crumples in confusion and annoyance. ‘Stop talking.’, he says, holding up a hand, ‘Turning around my words- you don’t even know Simone-‘

‘No, I don’t!’, you interrupt, ‘And that’s why I’m asking. And, completely based on what you’ve told me here’s what I now know- she chose most of your workplaces. She chooses when you visit the cape. She judges your decisions. And when you told her you’d start a new thing for yourself, she wasn’t happy, excited, or encouraging, she was just sad. And that made you give it up. Jake, there’s a… power imbalance here. Her terms always matter more than yours.’

‘Will you shut the fuck up?’, Jake slides off the bed so quickly, you almost miss it. ‘Jesus!’, he’s shouting at you now, only his voice gets deeper instead of higher, so the sound is like an animal growling. ‘What is wrong with you? Simone looks out for me, and you’d twist that like-‘

‘I’m sorry!’, your voice is rising to keep up with his volume, but you still try to keep it steady, ‘I get it! If someone I’ve known for two days started talking trash about someone I’ve known and loved my whole life, I wouldn’t trust them either. I swear I’m not trying to come between you two. I- you told me you both only had each other growing up, and of course you care about each other. It’s just, you two are different, so over the years you learned how to stay no matter what, and she learned how to not let go no matter what-‘

‘She was the only one there!’, Jake’s eyes are burning. He looks at you, but you feel like he’s seeing something that’s not even here. ‘That whole day, looking for mom, not even- no one even looking at first, because who knew where the fuck she decided to hole up today- and then looking, everyone, me waiting for her, crying myself to sleep, and then they pull her up from the sea that day’- Some kind of floodgate has opened, and he talks like he’s mad, ‘the house full of police and reporters from some shit local paper and people I haven’t seen once in my life, bringing stupid seafood platters, going ‘Aw, poor kid’, pinching my cheek, then leaving like they’d fucking done something.’ Jake’s eyes are glistening with tears, and you feel your eyes sting too. The pain is so raw in the air now, still. ‘My dad didn’t even know where I was half the time- Simone found me, she gave me cookies, took me in her house, played with me.’

The energy that’s always so coiled within Jake is pouring out now, uncontrolled, and he pants, hands flailing, feet shifting, ‘And, and the kids at school- where’s your mommy, Jake? Where’s mommy?- Teachers looking at me like I was some fucking alien they didn’t know how to talk to-‘

He’s moving away as he talks, and you stand up, taking steps toward him. ‘-My dad drinking all day every day, disappearing to who knows where then coming back just to fucking beat me up, I was fucking glad when he didn’t come back-‘

‘Jake-‘, you whisper, your heart breaking for him.

‘And I was all alone, no one wanted me, who would? Only Simone, she’s the only one who gives a shit-‘, he’s walking backwards, ‘So don’t fucking tell me I don’t need her. You don’t know -‘

‘Jake!’, you’re trying to stand in front of him, but he keeps moving away, ‘Listen to me-‘

‘No! Just how much more of this bullshit do you have left? ‘Cause-‘

‘Just listen-‘

‘WHY?’, he roars, ‘Who the fuck are you?’ And you don’t know what comes over you, but in two steps you’re almost onto him, and using all your strength, you push him back to the wall that you both were nearing, your hands on his chest. He’s shaking, and you are too. Your entire inside feels like it’s burning up in hot, agonizing flames and with a sinking feeling you think this- this is what we become-I don’t make him better, we both make each other worse- but no. No. You won’t give into that dynamic, that thought, you won’t scream, won’t lose it, won’t be toxic. You will tell him what you want to, that much you’ll do. And then you’ll let go- of him, of it, of everything.

Jake’s eyes blaze. He's just shocked enough that he hasn't shaken you off, shoved you away yet, but he will, and you have to start before that.

‘Jake.’, you gulp in as much air as you can, ‘I’m nobody. No one. I’m just a random girl. But I have a story for you. I’ll tell that story now. You don’t have to do anything but listen.’ You take one second to gather your thoughts. ‘On my fourteenth birthday, my mom sat me down and told me how proud she was of me. Dad had left, and things were tough, but I had been so good. Such a big girl already, always doing my homework, helping with my siblings, never a complaint, always by her side when she needed me. And then she told me she’d need more help.’

Jake is listening, good, ‘She was picking up another job, and I would need to babysit more, and do more chores, and I would, wouldn’t I, I was her best girl! She hugged me, braided my hair all nice, sent me to bed with the sweetest forehead kiss. And seven years later, when I was twenty one, I realized no one in the world actually gives a single fuck about me.’

You take a shaky breath, ‘It was right after I finally managed to leave my ex, breaking into millions of pieces inside even though I knew he was terrible to me. I came home at night, and it was like a cemetery, even with three people in it. My sister was 15, up in her room with her phone, texting boys she’d never tell me about because I was too strict, I tried to control everything. My brother was 11, asleep, and I was too old to feel like a sister to him, he was afraid of me- and I don’t blame him, I had been cross and impatient with him so many times. And my mom- she was in one of her depressive episodes, more and more every month, she hadn’t gone to work for three days, locked herself in her room. No one had cooked anything, no one ever did when I didn’t. No leftover for me in the fridge that I’d hoped would be there, no one to talk to. This was the emptiness I was afraid of, that made me take so long to break it off with that fucker, that if I let go of that one thing, there would be nothing for me. There wasn’t, not a single person who had a single thought to spare for me, and you know what I realized? I only had myself to blame.’

It's harder for you to talk now, and you have to make an effort to keep your voice from shaking, ‘At fourteen, I got stuck being my mom’s ‘best girl’. I didn’t have time to hang out with friends, I didn’t have time for the boys who liked me- there was one who swore he was in love with me in senior year, and I broke his heart in front of his friends when I told him I wouldn’t go to prom with him. I didn’t have time. I worked jobs, I did household chores, I took care of my siblings, and I felt it was all worth it when mom looked at me in that way, smiled that smile at me- letting me know how much of a relief it is that she could count on me, that I was there, telling me and anyone she met that I was the best daughter in the whole world. It didn’t matter dad left, and my sister and brother felt more like jobs than siblings- I wasn’t unloved, mom loved me so much, so, so much. I didn’t notice it dry up over the years, I didn’t see that she started taking everything I did for granted, I didn’t see when everyone who cared about me, or tried to care about me dropped off from my periphery. I lived for my mother’s smile, and as it became rarer, I became more desperate, tried to do more, blamed it all on her depression, but at twenty one, I realized all that’s left was me, all alone.’

You swallow, feeling tears run down your cheek. You have never told anyone all this. Jake is like a stone statue, listening to you, ‘We do that, Jake.’, you say, wiping your face, ‘We get stuck. We think the one person who loved us at fourteen is still the only one who’d care about us at forty, and we put all our coins on that bet, becoming what they wanted us to become. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes you need them, and they need you, but sometimes, it’s all you, blind, going around in a circle.’

You take your hands off Jake’s body, stepping back. ‘You were right, I don’t know Simone. But I know we all are some kind of broken. She must be too, she’s dealing with that like she knows how, and maybe that’s how you get stuck, you both do.’

You’re fully clothed still, you realize, but the power has been back for a while now, and it’s hot. You take off your coat, feeling so tired, suddenly. You’ve been talking so much. ‘I’m not trying to save you or anything, Jake- ha, goodness knows I got my hands full with myself- and no one can save anyone anyway. You don’t need saving. You just need to see. You weren’t loved enough when you were a kid, and I’m so sorry about that, but that isn’t a lifelong truth about who you are. Simone was the only one who gave a shit, but she doesn’t have to be the only one now, and you don't have to be the only one for her either. I’m nobody, and you wouldn’t want me anyway, but one day you’ll meet someone and-’, stupid tears welling up again, weren’t you supposed to let go?-‘if you let them, you’ll see just how much they’ll love you. Or maybe you don’t meet just one person- you have beautiful things with multiple people- that can also happen. But you have to let them know and love you, Jake, let them have the whole of you, not a walled-up version, not just a Jake half of Jake-and-Simone. You can’t get stuck being that, trying to live your life around that forever. Just being with you for two days I’ve seen it, and you have to see too- you could be so much more.’

Jake is very still, barely even blinking, and you don’t have anything else to tell him that he needs to hear. You still talk though, you can’t stop, because as pathetic as it is, you never had anyone to say this stuff to before, ‘As for me, I’m still at home taking care of things, but I don’t plan to be doing this forever. Mom- her depression is real, and while what she did to me wasn’t fair, I can’t hate her for that. I’ll get her help. Mental health treatment is so fucking expensive… but I’m trying to talk to some organizations who might help. I can’t keep taking care of her all her life. My siblings are growing up, they won’t need me that much. I’m saving money. I’ll get out one day. And meanwhile, I took on this job because I get to travel. Thought I’d meet people, live a little, even if that means getting stuck in surprise blizzards in crazy cities.’ You try to smile, though your eyes are hazy with tears, ‘Maybe I’ll meet someone too, and they’ll love me, take care of me for a change. I want that. Not gonna lie, kinda forgot what it feels like-‘

Jake’s hand reaches out to grab you behind your neck, then he’s pressing your face onto his chest, and hugging you so tight you think he’s trying to mark your skin, get under it, sink into your bloodstream. You’re sobbing, holding him like he’s the last iceberg while the Titanic sinks behind you, and you think maybe he’s crying too, but you don’t know, you can’t see his face, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because at this moment, right now, you two understand each other, know each other perfectly, without having to exchange a single word.

Hour 42

Huddling under the blanket together, you two have Chinese leftover right out of the boxes like little kids. Crying really takes it out of you, and it’s been hours since you last ate. Jake groans about the possibility of food getting on his bed- he’s a bit of a clean freak- and you counter that you got much worse things on his carpet earlier, and he has to agree. He asks about birth control, serious- he didn’t use protection the last time, and you assure him that based on your cycle, you should be safe, but you’ll take a pill tomorrow anyway.

Then you’re ready for sleep, finally. It’s about to be dawn, but peering out of his window, you can’t see anything, the sky still dark with clouds. The big Chinese place sign is lit, washing his bed with soft yellow light as Jake turns the apartment lights off. He comes up behind you on the bed, you turn, and somehow you end up on your knees opposite each other, foreheads touching.

‘Jake,’, you say, voice tiny.

‘Mm.’, his arms are around your back, pinpricks of light in his eyes, earring glinting.

‘I like you.’, you feel like you’re in fifth grade again, confessing to a boy for the first time, but you didn’t get to do that stuff in fifth grade, did you, so you’ll do it now. Maybe the person is wrong, or maybe it’s the time, or the place, or just the situation, but why think so much when it’s all about to be over anyway? You’ve got enough of living with regrets. ‘You don’t have to-‘, you swallow, ‘You don’t have to say anything. I just thought I’d tell-‘

He stops you with a kiss, his mouth slowly devouring yours, long and tender. When you come up for air after what seems like ages, breathless, foreheads touching again, he murmurs, ‘Move to New York.’

‘You move to my hometown.’, you whisper, challenging him back, ‘I think that pub in the next town over is still looking for a bartender.’

He laughs, shaking silently, and you laugh too, and you both know neither of you are moving. Life is not a movie, and be it your roots or be it shackles, you don’t get to cut off and escape in a day. The best you can hope for is the promise of trying- to no one else, but to yourself.

‘Come to sleep.’, Jake pulls you next to him under the blanket, and when he kisses you on the forehead you think you might cry, but then you’re all snug and tiny in his arms, your face pressed against his chest, breathing him in, and you think how you have this moment, how you’ll always have this moment, no matter what.

Hour 49

You wake up to see Jake ready for going out. He’s wearing what must be their uniform at the restaurant- striped button-up, slacks, and a tie.

‘Nice outfit’, you observe.

‘Shut up’, he mutters, trying to get his hair to behave with a brush. ‘Locker room lock is jammed, apparently.’

‘Pulling it off, though.’, you tell him, ‘I want to tip you already.’

He half-smiles, putting down the brush. ‘I gotta be at work.’, he says, ‘We open at four but lots to do before-‘

‘Okay.’, you don’t need to know any more than the fact that he’s leaving now. ‘When does your shift end?’

‘Eleven.’

You’re not seeing him again. Trying to ignore the snaking pain the thought brings with it, you say, ‘Okay. Give me just fifteen minutes. I’ll get out with you now and wait it out at the airport-‘

He gives you a look, ‘Where do you get these ideas? Your plane is at two in the morning.’

He was listening last evening after all, even though all he’d said was ‘Good.’

‘Yeah, but-‘

He throws you his keys, ‘Just lock up before you leave. Leave the keys with the Chinese people.’

‘What, you know them?’

‘No, but I think I should. Food was great.’

You smile, ‘Yeah.’

Jake has shaved this morning. It makes him look much younger, and softer, and it hurts to look at him. ‘I’ll get out around ten at night.’, you tell him.

He nods, not saying anything.

At the door, you kiss. He tells you he’s running late, then kisses you again. He lets his forehead fall on your shoulder for a few seconds, breathing, arms around your waist, and you keep blinking as you run your hand on the back of his head, letting your fingers wind in his hair, messing it up again.

He doesn’t know where you work, your address except the name of your town. He doesn’t ask for your phone number, your social media handles (which in any case you don’t have that many of). He was never going to call you anyway, and what would he have said if he did? And what would you say back? So you understand, and you don’t ask for his things either.

You two lock eyes for a few moments, and you try to memorize him- the raven black hair messy in the back, the ring of amber around the pupils of his blue eyes, the groove on his nose, the unexpectedly pretty mouth. The earring and the chain, the tattoo on his arm that you can see because he has his sleeves rolled back. All of it is overlaid on memories that you made in the last two days- his smokey kisses and pink cheeks when he came in from the snow and hoarse voice and saying your name over and over- too many memories. They’ll last you a lifetime. They have to.

He puts on his coat and leaves, not looking back.

You walk aimlessly around the apartment. Shower. Gather your things in the backpack. Go to the place downstairs, now open, and get some more Chinese food. Chat with the owner folks again for a few minutes, thanking them for the candles. Come back, browse the internet- parts of the city are still ravaged but things are almost back to normal- it’s NYC after all. You plan your travel and work schedule for the next two days, putting things down in the calendar. You never did get the survey done in the city, you’ll tell them to send someone else for it next time.

Time moves slowly, and you miss Jake like you can’t breathe. Eventually, you pick up the t-shirt he took off before leaving. You take off your own top, slip Jake’s shirt on, and curl up on his side of the bed. ‘Very 90s rom-comey’, you think to yourself, ‘but nobody’s gonna see me anyway.’

Hour 59

You thought about it many times- you could just go to him. Swing by the Union Square Café. Just show up. He’ll be the one mixing drinks behind the bar. Maybe you could order something. Really tip him this time, bring that joke full circle.

But you don’t do it. You won’t. You’ve said your goodbyes. You don’t know how he’ll feel about you showing up unannounced in his workplace. And what’s the point anyway? You’ll just be saying the same goodbyes again.

Your Uber is arriving, so you come downstairs. You look up at the building once, at the window with the big Chinese sign. In that apartment, you were someone else, but now, outside it, you still feel different. Jake gave you something, you can’t put your finger on it. Maybe it’s just the part of you that felt that he gave you back. Day after day, thinking about work, plans, moves, strategies about life, things, other people- all of it blended into an endless muddy brown haze, with only the possibility of a light at the distant end of it, and then you met Jake, and he made you feel- emotions and connection and so many things you can’t even name. He’s hot and smooth and all that, and he and you bonded over trauma maybe, but this is really why you liked him so much. Still do- you think, helplessly trying to push down the clench of hurt inside your chest. God, imagine having to get over someone you were never even with- ooh no, you don’t have to imagine, you’ll be doing that now, for who know how long.

You look at the app. Your Uber car is stuck in traffic. Someone veers their bike into the alley with an alarmingly reckless speed, as if their life depended on it, and then they come to stop in front of you and your heart stops beating. It’s Jake. He’s back.

He lets the bike fall, ‘Thought I’d missed you. My windows are dark and you weren’t at the front door of the building.’, he’s panting, trying to catch his breath.

It occurs to you that this is the side door. You used this one because it’s the one you know.

‘What are you doing here?’, you manage to ask. You’ll have to leave in minutes but just seeing him now your body hums and buzzes like it just received the headiest dose of happiness of your life.

‘Wanted to see you.’, Jake says, and this man of yours, words are not his preference, are they, because then he pins you to the wall, and kisses you on the mouth.

‘Thought you didn’t get off until eleven’, you say in between the kisses, breathless, unbuttoning his coat and slipping your hand inside, sliding it on his chest over his shirt.

‘Oh, I’m not off. Just told Nick to cover me for five minutes and bailed.’ He unzips your coat, and the cold is a shock, but then his hand slips inside your sweater and it’s not cold, it’s getting a bit hot actually- ‘It’s already been twenty minutes.’ He says, kissing you again, ‘Howard’s gonna freak’. He grins against your jaw.

‘Really.’, you’ve been clutching on his collar, and the tie is loose. You like it much better this way, ‘Lots of trouble, just to see me.’

‘You’re worth some trouble.’, he murmurs against your ear, gently sucking on your earlobe.

‘Oh, yeah?’, you shiver- not from the cold.

‘Oh, yeah.’

Your Uber driver is calling you. ‘Just a minute!’, you gasp into your phone as Jake kisses your neck, ‘Just wait there for a couple minutes, please. I’m almost there.’

The car is at the front door, you realize, and now it’s really time to go.

You give Jake one last quick and full kiss on the mouth before peeling off of him. You bend down, and take out a black sharpie from your backpack that landed on the ground. You always have a few of these handy for marking questionnaires.

Jake is watching as you loosen his tie more and unbutton the top buttons of his shirt. You write your phone number along his right collarbone with the sharpie, pushing aside his white tank. You touch your lips there before you button his shirt back up and close the front of his coat for him.

‘A tattoo from me.’, you smile at him, ‘Don’t sweat too much tonight.’

You like that he could though. He could sweat, or could shower, messing up the numbers, or could just forget to copy it. Or he could have it and just choose not to call you. You’d never know which. You like that.

Jake nods, murmurs, ‘Thank you.’

‘I won’t-‘, you have to tell him, ‘I won’t wait for you to call me. But-‘

‘But I will, if I’m feeling too fucked up some time and in need of talking about my feelings.’

‘Or makeup advice.’, you add.

‘Or that,’, he agrees.

You hug him. It’s harder to feel with your heavy jackets, but you can tell he’s hugging you back with all he has.

You won’t cry. You understand how big a deal it is for him to want to call you for talking about real stuff if he ever feels the need. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment and he won’t ever, but he trusts you, and feels that you are close. You’re friends. And friends is the best you could hope for, given everything else.

You kiss his cheek. Say goodbye. He lets you go, taking just a second too long to do it.

You turn back once. You thought you wouldn’t cry, but your eyes are blurry, and through them you can see him, standing there looking back at you. You swallow your stupid sob, and smile through it.

Maybe it’s the end. Maybe it isn’t. You get to find out. And that- that is glorious.