#I legit am now fighting with a completely blocked nose

[mebiselfandi]

I’m starting to crash but I still have a lot of asks to answer. This is horrible

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 7 Thoughts Part 2

 Part 1 can be found here.

7x14:

- Love how none of the other Winx’ animals were impressed with Bloom’s unicorn. And it got its butt handed to it as well. Poor Amarok, though.

- Why is Roxy the one training the animals and not Winx, who are literally bonded with them? I am so sick of them having these animals without being shown to take care of them or anything. Layla was tending to Squonk at first but she has abandoned that now as well. The rest never even bothered.

- Oh, of course, Bloom’s unicorn is even more special than the other fairy animals and has magic even though the rest don’t. Of course!

- Seriously? That’s the surprise? That’s more of a lesson or revelation than a surprise.

- They are the Guardians of the Ultimate Power? Weren’t Winx supposed to find the animal with the first color of the universe? What the hell happened to that? Please, tell me they didn’t just drop it.

- Oh, and they just got a new transformation without doing shit for it! They didn’t even try to work with their own fairy animals. But who cares? They get a transformation because they are just so special! And which commercial did the creators rip off for the Tynix transformation this time?

- Tynix is a bit... much. But the animals look kinda cool. I am just not sure why they become bigger in order to go into smaller worlds. How does that make sense?

- What do they even need from the mini worlds? The animal? The Ultimate Power? One leading to the other? Do the writers even know what they’re doing anymore?

- And what is Brafilius supposed to do when he can’t ride on Kalshara’s back and he can’t transform either?

- Beware the Dragon Council!

- Oh, so that’s what he’s supposed to do. Get a concussion!

- How is this not Pyros? This should have been Pyros. Not that I am thrilled about going there again but come on! It would have made so much sense and been a good throwback. Edit: It’s Pyros but it does not look like Pyros and everyone has confirmed that.

- So she made a fire eater? How did she “forge[d] a creature”? Wtf.

- Oh, damn! I forgot that getting Tynix didn’t mean that we were getting rid of Butterflix. *sigh* I was so ready to move on.

- At this point Kalshara should know that Brafilius doesn’t have that much and even using everything he has is just not going to be enough. She is failing them both by being so stubborn when it comes to their strategy.

- How did Brafilius made more of those creatures?

- The quips aren’t smart or creative. Winx just sound like overconfident idiots.

- Shiny really do be over here eating precious stones? And that is actually helping them win? Wow, okay.

- So what? The dragons die without the fire? Why did Kalshara tell them what she did so that they can find a way to fix everything?

- They’re really gonna fall for the “Do you have any other choice but to trust me thing?”

7x15:

- Why is this episode named “The Magic Stones”? How many more stones? What is up with this season and all the goddamn stones?

- The fairy animals really seem to be defeating the fire eater things that have the flames. They can just... use that in some way to release the fires back. Edit: Those are different creatures from the one Kalshara sent after the fire.

- So they actually redid the footage from season 3 and kept the original transformation BUT then they added something we have never seen and Bloom was wearing an outfit from season 4? What the hell? Also, Maia literally gave Bloom a necklace with the essence of Pyros to strengthen her powers implying that the essence of Pyros is very similar if not the same as the essence of the Dragon Fire. But now they decided that using the Dragon Fire would be too convenient because they wouldn’t get to show their Tynix powers. Great fucking logic!

- So that’s why they have Tynix warping time. So that they can just leave a battle whenever and just pop right back in a couple of seconds to not worry about losing. Bloom could have just gone on her own and left Winx behind to handle Kalshara but that would have been a too advanced strategy.

- Lucky that Shiny isn’t eating the whole mini world. But how did they get there when they were just fighting Brafilius? Of course, the time warping bullshit they pulled.

- So that’s why the animals got bigger - so that Winx can ride them. They have wings and could have been flying just fine.

- Their bonded animals being proud is what means that Winx have strength inside? What the hell?

- Why is there a song even though they should be rushing and can you see me skipping it? Because that is exactly what I’m doing.

- The vampire of fire? Wow, okay.

- They are gonna restore a volcano with techno magic? Makes perfect sense. And why are they surprised that the Tynix powers are working? They’re supposed to be working!

- The “vampire” looks like a dragon. That eats fire energy and then shoots back fire.

- Why does Squonk look like a completely different animal? (Yes, I noticed just now.)

- Really? Combining their powers is how they solved this? And the rest of Winx didn’t even join her? Bloom and Elas did all on their own? *eternal sigh*

- They asked for a spa day as payment? I am straight up not having a good time with this season.

7x16:

- They took Riven out of the show only to have Nex take his place as the competitive asshole of the group? Really? That was the big plan?

- The dolphins are so precious and perfect! They knocked both Sky and Nex off their surfs. XD And Layla rubbed their noses in it. That was actually nice (yes, I am going to be petty like that).

- They made that crab more menacing than the main villains of the season. And you’re telling me that Stella sensed the crab but did not notice the turtles burying her alive?

- Brandon getting hit with wild magic by those flowers he wanted to pick would have been way more interesting. And why are all the animals being assholes on purpose? That is not how animals would usually behave in the presence of people even if they are used to the tourists in Paradise Bay.

- Love how Helia is dissing Earth.

- Did I mention that I hate the fact that all the fairy animals can talk now?

- Oh, you mean that there’s gonna be an episode in this episode? And they are actually right where the danger is? Because that is not convenient at all. It’s like the writers don’t even want to send them to more places on Earth even if it actually exists and they don’t have to make stuff up.

- How convenient that the threat only showed up now that they have their Tynix.

- If you really feel so happy, Flora, then why don’t you stay there? Maybe that will bring you back to your old self when you weren’t being a bitch to an animal for no reason.

- Those monsters look like upgraded ants. Plant-mites? You mean termites but for leaves?

- Their spells are now tied to their home planets? Is it because they’re going to the mini worlds? So they’re bringing something from their own worlds?

- Wait. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Stella just called Brandon her fiance? FIANCE?!?!?!?!?! UM, YES??????????? THANK YOU FOR ACTUALLY CONFIRMING THAT THEY’RE ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Oh, this time they have to fight the tiny creatures of the world because they thought they’re enemies? This is getting mildly interesting!

- Oh, come on! They have wings! Falling shouldn’t be a problem when they can fly!

- Please, just let Bloom get caught by the weeds! Flora got caught but Bloom is legit riding over the weeds???

7x17:

- The leaf creature is called Chloe?

- Winx really didn’t catch on to the fact that the creatures attacked them after Stella mentioned that Brandon gave her those flowers?

- Flora, in order for everyone to know Winx wouldn’t harm nature, everyone needs to know about Winx. And I doubt the creatures in the mini worlds care about who you are. They obviously don’t know you! I don’t know how to tell you this but popularity has gotten to your head.

- You’re telling me that picking just one flower destroys the whole balance? Do they forget that Tritanus spread pollution in Paradise Bay back in season 5? If what they’re saying is true, the whole bay should have died back then! Also, are you seriously telling me that the people we have seen go to Paradise Bay have never ever picked a flower? This is bullshit!

- Another mini world in this mini arc (though, that implies that there is plot)?

- Weee, water slides! Not like this is an important mission that has a bearing on the fate of an entire ecosystem!

- Wait, those are the real colors of nature? Can’t that help them figure out which is the first color of the universe so that they can find the animal with it more easily?

- I thought that they were in a hurry to save the Bay but they have wasted so much time and oh, that’s right! It doesn’t matter because time is what the writers want it to be in the mini worlds!

- These episodes are endless when they keep wasting so much time!

- Gems of light? Did I miss something? Are the seeds for the gems? I don’t care enough to go back and check.

- They really thought that it was gonna be that easy? And the writers really thought that a black globe is a good enough obstacle? And do they really only have one spell available each in the Tynix transformation?

- Tell me Bloom is gonna fly right into another globe blocking her way! (Of course, she won’t. If anyone will be fucking up like that, they’re gonna make it be Stella.)

- Oh, you mean that they actually got caught? All of them? But where the hell is Layla’s morphix? That could have helped. But what the hell? The fairy animals are now making bubbles of their own? AND it is because Squonk gets stronger due to Layla being the fairy of waves? Then why is she not stronger? This is ridiculous.

- Oh, the plants needed water? Huh, who would’ve thought, right? Not like Flora is the fairy of nature or anything!

- So... how did picking the flowers hurt the mini world when they actually needed to plant some seeds?

- Why did Stella go crazy on Brandon about the flowers when she could have just explained to him what happened?

7x18:

- Why are they... what are they... thinking with this competition against lemurs? What the hell?

- Aren’t raccoons supposed to be vicious little beasts and not the lemurs? Wtf.

- You know, Brafilius is annoying as hell but Kalshara is actually pissing me off more because there is much more that she can do and she just... doesn’t? Like, do you wanna get defeated? Also, no wonder your brother needs rest when you don’t since he’s the one doing everything. And did she just call him jellyfish? Because they’re soft and just drift around and don’t have brains? Wow, that’s so nice of you.

- The lemurs talk?????????????? Wtf?!

- Love how Kalshara doesn’t even bother remembering their group name. To her they’re just fairies like all other fairies. That is actually kinda funny.

- How did they not see Kalshara and Brafilius? It wasn’t like they were hiding!

- They are making... the bananas fight... Instead of, like, feeding the bananas to the lemurs and making them fight? They looked pretty vicious and that would have been a better strategy.

- Okay, how can they tell the trees are contaminated?! They just tried the spell on the fruits, not the trees themselves? And now they’re going in the past for bananas? Really?

- A giant lemur falling in love with Stella? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Why are they doing this to me? This season just got an awful lot worse and that is saying something.

- Wow, use bananas to lure the thing that eats bananas. What a complex plan. Why did it take them so long to figure it out?

- Okay, that dress from leaves is actually much better than some of Stella’s designs have been but doesn’t she notice that the lemur is preparing her for a wedding? Like, literally dressing her as a bride? And here I thought that this couldn’t get worse (Lmao @ Stella keeping her manners while being kidnapped by a gigantic lovesick lemur, though.)

- Oh, my god, the wedding march. That wouldn’t be composed for about a couple thousand years more! (Yes, I am focusing on logical failures because this is too much of a disaster.)

- It’s trying to kiss her... I really need Winx to show up at this point!... Good. But I won’t thank anyone for this because the creators should have never made this happen.

- Oh, come on! It followed them into the present and they’re having Brandon vs giant lemur and having Brandon losing?

- Finally the end to that. But will the giant lemur remain in the present? At least they got the goddamn bananas! Good because I am going bananas over here!

7x19:

- These guards look familiar... Oppositus? Yes, that is. They have the symbol of the planet on them.

- Isn’t there a better way to find the animal with the first color than just teleporting around and leaning on luck? Like, idk, research?

- Well done to what? The animals are still as chaotic as ever and seem to have gone back to being prickly to each other. Aaaaand, they’re fucking up the party.

- Okay, but to be fair, Critty told them not to touch and what did that woman do? She started petting her! Yeah, you had this coming, hon!

- Love how Marion and Oritel handled the situation, though! Real talent at dispersing the tension right there. I was looking forward to seeing them ever since the synopsis from last episode. At least they haven’t fucked up the two of them... yet.

- “[The fairy animals] aren’t used to formal settings” Then why did you bring them in a formal setting?????????????????????????????????

- Aren’t you on Oppositus? There opposites exist in harmony all the time! What is so weird about that?

- The creature of the rainbow mantle? Didn’t they have that in season 5 and the Winx had to save it from the Trix? Now they have to save it again? Also, don’t tell me that’s the one with the first color.

- Man, Butterflix is so fucking useless. How many battles have they won with it? Like, two? This is episode 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- They already know that this is Kalshara’s doing!!!!!!!!!!! And wasn’t the collar supposed to not have worked?????????????????

- Chaos in the rainbow? Awesome! I mean, we already know it because this season (and the previous... three (more or less)) have been a fucking disaster but it’s good that Rainbow is giving some meta on itself!

- Musa, you look like you’re gonna faint! How can you handle this?

- Poor kitty! Stop torturing the cat! Why did none of the others join them so that they could pull them out after they’re done in case they’re too weak? But the two of them harmonizing to keep out the disharmony from outside was actually a pretty cool idea! This season hasn’t failed completely yet.

- Can I ask why the royal family of Oppositus even had the collar made? Seems like a colossally dumb choice!

- Finally they found someone to ask... And they have a riddle now! Goodie!

7x20:

- I still can’t guess which animal is the one that is “close to fairy power” and it’s driving me insane! Obviously, it isn’t any of their bonded animals (we even know it’s not Squonk and Amarok). My first guess was actually Kalshara but a) she was a person that changed magically and b) she can turn in many animals so that is just not it. My other guess was Kiko but that seems highly unlikely because he literally hasn’t been important since, like, season 3 when Bloom stopped actually spending time with him. So... I have no idea which one they’re talking about.

- Lmaoooo, another animal cock-blocking (sort of). XD And it is Sky and Bloom. XDDD Good! And Bloom is calling him out on it! Even better! And she left to go after Elas! I am dying of laughter.

- Wait, that seal was Kalshara? And they were none the wiser? ...Okay.

- Oh, no! Not the kid thing! How did the stones make them kids? What is this? Avengers: Endgame? Instead of taking Winx through time the Stones took time through Winx? And why do they still have the same hair? We know Bloom had much shorter hair when she was little!

- And they know that they are children? But lmao, little Bloom yelling after the others to listen to her as they scatter is what her “leadership” should have looked like. XD

- The Specialists really can’t recognize their girlfriends even though a) they literally look the exact same way and b) this has already happened to Brandon before!

- Omg, Butterflix worked! I was actually hoping that it would because Sky’s realization that he fucked up is priceless!

- Well, of course the animals recognized them! They can probably catch their scent or something. But wow, Winx are having the upper hand even when they’re children.

- Skipping the clownery during the song.

- DId Sky just call the little Winx “pests”?

- Well, that was fast. Both Kalshara getting defeated and Sky and Elas becoming best buds. And of course, Elas can also restore Winx as they were before.

- Lmao, Roxy is right that Winx shouldn’t be left to their own devices.

7x21:

- Don’t tell me they’re hosting a dog show. A fairy animal show. *sigh* But it is surprisingly on topic since the season is all about the fairy animals.

- What is Brafilius’ guilt that his sister scared the other dog? Why should he get hit over the head? Come on!

- Why does Kalshara need to get into Alfea? She just needs to find a way to get the fairy animals.

- You know they have nothing to do in an episode when they show the full Butterflix transformation.

- And now there’s pixie clownery because they literally don’t have anything to put in this episode. Cherie sure seems to have it all under control. (Did they even say why the weather has gone crazy? I skipped, like, half of this episode already.)

- They are really saying that they can’t handle a blizzard? Not like they have fought Stormy for five seasons! Not like they’re supposed to be more powerful than the pixies. At least they said why the weather is acting up.

- This is definitely not the weirdest place you have been, Stella. At least Amentia’s kingdom and Havram top it.

- Why are there so many different kinds of animals in this mini world? Oh. OH! I actually love this idea! Different species of animals looking after the different seasons according to the sun of whichever season is up! That is awesome! I am less so a fan of the fact that they had to ask why the animals are fighting when it was obvious that the wild magic was influencing them!

- Love how they still haven’t realized how to recognize which animal is Kalshara. But why are they surprised that the “digmole” said Faragonda’s name? They know she used to take care of a digmole!

7x22:

- Wait! Flashback of footage that we haven’t actually seen? Are you calling this vague memories?

- Yeah, no shit that Alfea has the most fairy magic in the whole universe!

- Omg, the statue is actually going to be important! The same statue that Faragonda didn’t bother explaining even though Bloom made a remark about it. And she even found it in the hall of fairy animals (or whatever). And it was right there the whole time?????? God, I hate this!

- Okay, the green animals in the diamond mini world? So obviously stolen from Pokemon. And the floating cutlery is screaming Beauty and the Beast. It even moves in the same way.

- Why is it surprising that they eat diamonds? Shiny eats diamonds as well!

- Why do we care about the diamonds?

- Oh, because the ultimate power is a diamond... that the king and queen would rather die for than give away. Amazing!

- Okay, an orchard of diamonds. We get it! It’s not that impressive! It looks like a normal orchard but it is all shiny! Moving on!

- Wtf how is Flora’s magic working on these! Diamonds are not living nature. I am tired of this episode.

- Oh, did you expect the Ultimate Power to be easy to control instead of volatile?

- So now Flora’s magic isn’t working because the plants are only half natural and the diamonds are resistant to magic? They seemed to be very magic absorbing and malleable a few seconds ago!

- It just popped into Kalshara’s hands. And Faragonda isn’t going to do anything to stop her. She’s just gonna wait for Winx. She is just about as useful and smart as she was when she was young in this season which was not much.

- Ooh, Brafilius is actually standing up to Kalshara! I like that! Tbh I have a feeling that he can stir more chaos because of how incompetent he is. He will do something wrong and it will backfire so hard that it will blow up in all their faces.

- How DID the Trix get here? What, they found their bonded FAIRY animals in the Legendarium and the connection pulled them out? Wtf? Also, why did the audio disappear on the last few lines. I didn’t hear what they said! Love how even the writers realized that they can’t pull off a good finale with just Brafilius and Kalshara, though, and were like “Yep, time to bring back the Trix!”

7x23:

- Secret of Alfea? What secret?

- Oh, Kalshara knows about them? But most powerful witches of the universe? I know the Ancestral Witches were destroyed but still. And look! My theory about how they got out was spot-on! It was just too damn easy... and dumb!

- The ultimate power is supposed to be... ultimate, you know! If Brafilius has it, they shouldn’t be able to defeat him. But nah.

- We already know that the animals can find them wherever. It was established earlier.

- Stella, it’s not you that’s ruining the moment. It’s the shaking cave threatening to collapse on you that’s ruining it!

- Why are Flora’s powers working when no one’s powers wanted to work before that, even her own?

- Hey, wait a second! Tynix was supposed to warp time so that while they’re in the mini worlds barely any time passes in the normal world. But now time seems to be moving with the same speed at both places! Because it is convenient for the plot!

- If an animal is bonded to you, you should be able to tell that what you’re holding is an impostor! Because the impostor is not bonded to you! That was literally so fucking dumb!

- IT CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “Did you miss us?” “Oh, yes. But after today, we’ll get to miss you forever!” Oh, damn! That was a glorious comeback! I am glad the Trix are back especially after this dumpster fire of a season and with this smarter behavior. But that’s because it wasn’t them failing all season long.

- Lmao, of course, Darcy’s animal is fighting Critty! Love how the Trix’ animals are 3-4 times the size of the Winx’.

- You’re not telling me Alfea’s power comes from the fairy animals? But wait! Alfea mini world? That might be interesting!

- It’s the world of butterflies? I should have known! So Butterflix can only be won on the territory of Alfea?

- If I were the Trix, I would just attack the magical source of Alfea and be done with it! See what Winx would do then!

- Come on, Bloom! Brafilius literally had the face of a dog all along! It shouldn’t be so hard to grasp that!

- Darcy was just about to destroy all of Alfea singlehandedly! And it was so cool and so intense! I was getting really hyped... and then Stella kinda stabilized things for enough time to let them get away. Dammit! It would have been cool to see them more in danger.

- Golden butterfly? I was gonna say that that would be a great chance for it to be Roxy’s bonded animal. Or even more perfect - Daphne’s! But they said that it lived long ago... Oh, so not that long ago. Faragonda was a teen back then so Daphne could have been born at the time (since she also didn’t age for about 20 years and is older than she looks). The butterfly could still be her bonded animal (but it most probably won’t be.)

7x24:

- Why do you care about the barrier? The problem is in the mini world at the heart of Alfea!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- DAPHNE!!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME BACK!

- Can Roxy do anything about the Trix’ animals? She is the fairy of all animals, after all. She should be able to communicate with them at the very least. Not that she could talk sense into them but still.

- For all his snobbery in the beginning of the season, Wizgiz isn’t doing all that well.

- Well, you’d hope that your husband will come help you out when the universe is threatened! Though, you’d think that there would be a whole army of Specialists sent to Alfea considering the high stakes of the situation.

- What defenses? The other fairies are the defenses and they still have their magic so it doesn’t seem to be that bad. At least until they can fix it.

- How did Faragonda get so much better at magic when it seems like there hasn’t passed that much time since Mavilla still hasn’t cast the memory wipe spell? And why couldn’t the animals introduce themselves? They can talk now! Or have the writers forgotten?!

- Daphne has new spells even if she doesn’t have a new transformation. Honestly, she has already been more useful than Winx were the whole season.

- Icy, you know very well who has the other stones! It is obvious! Even more so by the fact that Winx aren’t there to fight you! I knew that the Trix would notice the Stone and Brafilius would spill the beans, though! They couldn’t miss the opportunity to fuck shit up in the past as well.

- Lmaoooo @ Griselda passing out at the thought of Faragonda being the Headmistress of Alfea! XDDD She’s gonna have a fun time living through the future. But ooh, imagine the Trix going back in time and telling Faragonda about her future in order to fuck it up! That would be cool!

- Faragonda really is an idiot of a klutz in the past (and in this season - in the present too (without the klutz part... I think)).

- Is this a different mini world? Shouldn’t there be only one mini world in Alfea?

- Bug bunnies? Do I have to say that I heard Bugs bunnies at first?

- So the golden butterfly is sucking out the energy around for her metamorphosis.

- Why are Winx surprised the Trix were in the mini world when they already fought them in Alfea’s mini world?

- If I were Icy, I would fuck up the butterfly but we can’t have that!

- Why did they spoil the cliffhanger in the synopsis for the next episode? Not that we didn’t know that Bloom wasn’t going to get impaled on the ice but still.

7x25:

- This scene reminds me of a Kim Possible episode. Except, Kim saved herself.

- Oh, so now Elas’ power evolved even more? Of course, it did! They need to be upgraded constantly because no one bother to improve through practice anymore.

- How did that attack not send Icy into oblivion?

- Oh! A Tynix spell that isn’t tied to one of their home worlds! Go, Tecna!

- Hatched? Does a cocoon hatch? I honestly don’t know when it comes to English. But the butterfly isn’t really that beautiful. It looks like something a child cut out from a sheet of paper. Golden paper but still paper.

- Wasn’t the butterfly supposed to work in their favor? How come its actions were what threw Brafilius back in the hands of the Trix?

- “Are we lost in some other when?” XDDD  But how tf did they get back without using the memory stones? Goddammit! At least keep the bare minimum of consistency!!!

- They won’t escape us, he says as if they didn’t just get defeated by the “they” that do no need escape because they have the power advantage.

- Don’t the other fairies learn History of Magic? They should know about the Trix and what their powers are at the very least so they don’t act so stupid against Darcy.

- Stormy’s Occula is the only one from the Trix’ animals whose name I can even hear!

- Daphne is beating Icy! But damn, she got defeated when Icy got help from her animal. See? This is why Daphne needed to have an animal bonded to her!

- Why is Faragonda sending Grsielda on roundup duty instead of using her in the battle? Griselda is one of her strongest fighters!

- I thought it would be Kalshara that snagged Brafilius away but nope! He just can’t shake the Trix and their animals!

- Oh, so Roxy can sense that that is the dgmole that is connected to Faragonda but Faragonda herself couldn’t? And she acts like she has never heard of an aura? Man, they really brought her down this season, didn’t they?

- Really? A party now? Man, there really isn’t much plot in this season, is there?

- Well, seeing Daphne and Thoren together is actually kinda cute. We don’t get to really see any of the married couples. Which is stupid because they legit act the same way that Winx and their boyfriends do. Like, Daphne and Thoren are literally doing the same things!

- Don’t tell me Stella is jealous because Brandon is dancing with Shiny. But aww @ Kiko and Tecna’s bunny eating so much stuff together. XD I like the idea of the two bunnies being friends and it kinda relates to Bloom and Tecna’s friendship (that we haven’t really seen since season 5 and we haven’t had a good scene since season 3).

- I knew Kalshara wasn’t coming for a fight. She couldn’t beat them alone even if she tried. Especially when Daphne is also with them.

- Oh, wow! The Trix are fighting something that isn’t Winx? And their animals having their backs is actually pretty cute, too!

- Don’t tell me that they actually believe Kalshara wants to save Brafilius. I mean, if it’s true, that would be the best twist they’ve had all season but I somehow can’t imagine it.

7x26:

- “Can we trust you?” What do you think that she’ll say? No? There is literally not a case in which she’s gonna say “no” which means that you can’t take her answer for an honest one. Wtf?! Please, tell me that they’ll be mindful at the very least and ready to be double crossed.

- Why, of course, Icy’s animal would be called Frostbite. I should have guessed.

- See? Brafilius is actually the smarter sibling! He knows better than to get mixed up with wild magic.

- I knew that they were gonna show the whole Butterflix transformation. For the last time. It still doesn’t mean that I’m watching it.

- Winx act like they haven’t seen the way Kalshara treats Brafilius. But it was still kinda cute how relieved he was to see her.

- Stella is right. The Trix have not looked worse... yet. But wasn’t Brafilius with Kalshara. How did the Trix get him back again?

- Cat!Darcy vs cat!Kalshara is actually kinda cool. And the Trix did turn into shapeshifting witches! But does Kalshara only have the handful of forms we have already seen? Can’t she transform in anything else?

- One last hug? Don’t tell me Winx will merge with their animals as well! But damn, this talk about Winx standing no chance is getting depressing.

- Don’t tell me that the animals will merge with each other to form the damn swan!!!!!!!!

- “rulers of nature”? Wow, really? The power has totally gone to your head and you need to calm down!

- What are they gonna do with the stones? Oh, trap Trix out of time? That’s actually... pretty smart... and intense.

- Man, I feel bad about the Trix. But what about Brafilius and Kalshara?

- Kalshara really thought that she was gonna get away with the ultimate power? But why do the wild magic animals care about manners and Brafilius? Oh, well, it’s cute that he actually has someone to like and accept him. It was actually Kalshara’s idea to even make him turn into a half animal. He didn’t want that. He just wanted her to love him.

- The goodbye of the fairy animals was actually pretty emotional! If the season had been done better, this could have been such a tearjerker! If they’d actually bothered to show how the animals bonded both with each other and with Winx but that really wasn’t driven home.

- Oh, no! Why did they bring back the band again?! We really didn’t need that.

Well, this season was annoying as hell at times but it actually had some really cool concepts... that, of course, failed upon execution. I kinda liked it better than season 6, though, and I am not even sure why. Maybe because I had less expectations and they were topped more often than my expectations were for season 6. Really, the Legendarium was a great concept that they just completely and utterly failed to utilize while there wasn’t that much potential with the fairy animals but from time to time, the writers really came up with some great idea. Brafilius’ “arc” had a surprisingly touching end and so did that of the fairy animals. I don’t think Winx learned shit this season and they were completely useless - but hey, not much more can be said about them in season 6 either so... What I’m saying is that this season wasn’t as bad as the posts I have seen floating around the fandom had made me believe it would be. Though, don’t get me wrong, there were a couple of moments that I wish I could erase forever.

[donteattheappleshook]

Just Human Volume 2  Part 3/5

Ao3

A continuation of last year’s CSSNS story Just Human. Now that Killian is a ghost and Mary Margaret knows everything, what does life have in store for a group of supernatural misfits? With the threat of Gold gone, Emma learns that sometimes just being human is the most complicated challenge of all.

Thank you to the ever patient and talented @djlbg​ for her beautiful artwork and to the wonderful @thejollyroger-writer​ “the comma queen” for all her work and support as an excellent beta!

.... this one’s a little sad. 

PART THREE

Another week passes and David’s time of the month comes and goes without a transformation. With the tension of the unknown finally gone from him, her friend is back to normal and the whole house seems lighter. Mary Margaret is fully moved in, Killian and Emma are enjoying marital bliss and even discussing the possibility of a honeymoon if they can figure out the logistics of “how do we do this without people realising we’re dead”. Killian really wants to show her Paris. And Amsterdam. And Santorini. And the Isle of Skye.

But mostly, they’ve gone back to their old routine. Killian, who is now fully corporeal, has returned to work although at a different hospital after his month-long absence from the General. He found a job as an orderly at the children’s hospital and seems much happier for it - especially now that he can work days. David continues his work at the police station and Mary Margaret is getting ready for the beginning of a new school year.

And Emma, well, Emma has gone back to being in the house by herself for most of the day. Reading books, going for walks, watching movies, cleaning, cooking, and slowly going out of her mind.

They’re all sitting around the table having dinner when Emma makes an announcement.

“I’ve decided to get a job.” Three heads turn to her in surprise - supportive surprise but surprise nonetheless. “I need to get out of the house. Now that I know I can… I need to do something with my days,” she finishes, hoping her friends understand.

Killian reaches across the table and takes her hand. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, love.”

“Absolutely!” David adds.

“I think it’s great,” Mary Margaret starts but then she pauses, hesitant to add whatever ‘but’ is coming.

“What is it?” Emma asks.

“Well, you’re legally dead aren’t you? How are you going to get a job with no identity?”

Emma’s heart sinks. She hadn’t considered that.

“Ladies, please,” Killian says with a slightly arrogant smile. “Do you think I’ve survived three hundred years without learning how to fake an identity or two in my day?” Emma’s heart rises as he shoots her an encouraging wink then turns to David. “Of course, it never hurts to have the cooperation of law enforcement.”

David bristles a little, torn between his love for his friend and his commitment to his career but then he looks at Emma, her expression hopeful and vulnerable, and his face softens.

“I might know a guy,” he says, shrugging, and Emma’s heart soars.

“Amazing!” Mary Margaret cheers. “What do you think you might do?” she asks and it gives Emma pause.

“I was hoping I could go back to being a bail bondsperson” she says honestly. “I’ve missed it.” She did miss it. She missed the satisfaction of a job where she felt like she was doing good - where she felt like she was helping people out in some small way. There was a special place in hell for people who skipped out on their bail, leaving their loved one’s who’d put forth the money destitute and abandoned. It made Emma feel good to find them, to make them pay. And she was good at it. It was one of the few things in her life Emma ever felt she had a true talent for - the other was crime and while she wasn’t ashamed (she’d done what she needed to to survive), it had felt good to be on the right side of the law for those few months she’d been legit before her death.

Killian smiles at her and she’s brought back to a conversation that feels like ages ago ‘You must have been very good at your job’. Yeah, Emma thinks. Yeah, she really was.

A week later Emma holds her new passport and driver’s license. Emma Jones, née Nolan, David’s half-sister and Killian’s wife. It’s perfect.

Killian comes up behind her as she stands in the kitchen looking over her papers. He wraps his arms around her and rests his head on her shoulder.

“Hmm,” he hums. “Emma Jones, it has a nice ring to it don’t you think?” he teases. She can’t bring herself to dig her elbow into his ribs because as much as she knows he’s trying to get a rise out of her… she really really likes it. More than she ever thought she would.

“You know,” she says. “It kind of does.”

Killian turns her in his arms backing her up against the counter until she’s wedged between it and his body.

“I like it,” he says. “Mrs. Jones.” He places a kiss to one side of her neck. “Mrs. Jones,” he says again moving to the other side of her neck. Emma laughs.

“You’re not going to go all caveman on me are you?” she teases and Killian brings his head up to look at her, matching her smile.

“No love, you’ll always be Swan to me,” he promises, kissing the tip of her nose before he kisses her firmly on the lips.

“Good.”

***

Two weeks later, Emma is out chasing a skip when she hears it. The sound of screeching tires then a loud crash and the sound of metal being bent in an unnatural way. She stops in her tracks and runs towards the sound, heart racing in fear of what she might find. She’s only just rounded the corner when she sees it and her stomach drops. There’s a car, wrapped around a light post. The front is completely smashed in, actually curving around the solid cement block. Emma watches in horror as the post sways before falling onto the car, crushing the roof.

She looks around in a panic. She left her phone in her car and there’s nobody around. She needs to call an ambulance. But the driver - what if they’re still alive? She has to help them, she has to -

“Whats going on!?” the voice is young and it’s panicked and terrified. She whirls around and sees a boy standing behind her, only a few feet from the car. He can’t be more than sixteen, skinny with blonde hair and a scar running down one cheek. He runs up to the car and it suddenly hits Emma when she sees the person in the driver’s seat. It’s him. It’s the boy. Which means - fuck.

“What the hell is happening!?” He demands, turning to her for answers now. She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know how to handle this. She tries to center herself, to remember the panic and fear of the first few hours after her death. She needs to help him. What did she need that day? She thinks of Killian. What would he do? He would help.

She turns to him, steps cautiously forward and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, you’re gonna be okay,” she tells him, her voice shaky. She needs to pull herself together. She needs to be the strong one here. He needs her to be. He’s so young. She quickly casts a glance inside the car, relieved to find there are no other passengers. The boy turns his frightened eyes on her.

“Am I dead?” he says and she knows he’s desperately hoping she’ll tell him he isn’t. But she can’t lie to him.

She decides to be direct. “Yes. I’m sorry. But you’re gonna be okay. I’m dead too,” she adds, hoping it’ll make this feel more real - not that anything could make this feel real. She expects the boy to hound her with questions but instead he only says:

“My mom.”

Emma turns her eyes back to the car, worried she missed someone. But the boy has collapsed on the ground now, his head in his hands.

“My mom. This will kill her. I was so awful. No, no, no.” He keeps mumbling to himself. Emma gently kneels down beside him.

“Hey, kid, what’s your name?” she asks. He looks up at her, fresh tears in his eyes.

“Felix.” Emma breathes a sigh of relief. Okay, she can do this.

“Okay, Felix. I know this is scary. But I promise you’re going to be okay. I’m going to help you okay? I’m here to help you.”

“My mom,” he says again and Emma puts a reassuring hand on his back.

“Your mom will be okay. She -”

“No!” He says suddenly, shocking her. “No, I was so awful. I yelled at her. I said such horrible awful things to her! And now - now she’s going to think I felt that way forever.”

Emma looks around. Where is it? Where is the door. This boy is a child. It’s not fair that there’s no door waiting for him. He shouldn’t have unfinished business. He’s too young. It’s not fair.

“Hey, Felix. Your mom knows you love her. Mom’s always know. Listen… kids and parents fight. I’m sure she knows you love her. She knows you didn’t mean what you said.” Emma doesn’t know. She has no idea what moms and their kids are like. She never had one. She’s making it up but she hopes it will help him.

“No, I told her I hated her. I said she was the worst mom ever. And now that'll always be the last thing I said to her!” He doubles over and starts weeping. “I have to tell her. I have to tell her I’m sorry.” He looks at her now, eyes almost crazed. “You have to help me. You promised you’d help me!”

Emma looks at him, lost. She doesn’t know how to help him. He can’t see his mom - well, she won’t see him. Maybe she could pass on a message for him? Maybe he could send her one somehow - then it hits her.

“Hey. you have a phone?” she asks and he looks at her in confusion and then seems to catch on.

“Yeah! Yeah it was in my pocket!” He says standing suddenly. He reaches into his own pocket but comes up empty. Emma shuts her eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath. She knows what she has to do - she’s not going to like it but she’s going to do it. She makes her way over to the car, reaching in through the smashed passenger window, doing her best to ignore the body in the seat as she reaches into the pocket of the dead boy's jeans and retrieves a phone. She returns to him and asks what his passcode is.

“Tell me what you want to say to her and I’ll type it out for you,” she tells him.

He nods, almost frantic in his relief. “Just - just tell her that I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry we fought and I didn’t mean what I said. Tell her I love her and that she’s the best mom ever.”

Emma does as he asks, typing the message doing her best to sound like a teenage boy and hitting send. They both wait, neither saying a word or even breathing until the phone pings and a message comes through.

I know, I’m sorry too. I love you always x.

Emma shows him the message and the boy collapses again, this time in relief. Emma uses his phone to call 911. She’ll stick around, tell them she took his phone to call because she didn’t have hers. She sits with him for a minute, letting him cry on her shoulder, sure he can’t possibly be processing everything that just happened to him. That’s probably best. He shouldn’t have to suffer more. Suddenly, Emma looks up and there it is. A door. Right there in the middle of the street. A door to nowhere.

“Hey, kid,” she nudges Felix. “That’s for you.” She motions to the door.

“For me?” He stares at it. “Where does it go?” he asks her, eyes vulnerable.

She goes for honesty. “I don’t know. That’s something you have to find out for yourself, I guess,” she tells him.

“Will it hurt?” he asks. Emma shakes her head.

“I don’t think so. What do you say? Beats sticking around here?”

Felix looks at the door for a moment, the sound of sirens starting to make themselves heard in the distance. Finally, he stands and steps slowly towards the door. He looks back at her one last time, a little unsure and she gives him a thumbs up. He turns back and opens the door and walks through. And just as suddenly as the door appeared, it’s gone.

Emma sticks around for a while, answering questions from the police, watching as the body is taken away in the ambulance before finally making her way home. She tells Killian what happened and he gathers her in his arms, holding her tightly as he kisses the top of her head.

“You did good, Swan. You helped him.”

“I know,” she says.

“But?” he asks. He always knows what she’s thinking. Always sees through her.

“It’s nothing. I just… do you ever wonder if we made the right choice? Not going through the door? I know you haven’t gotten one yet, but I’d have dragged you through mine if I decided to go. Don’t get me wrong,” she insists, “I’m so, so happy here with you and with David and Mary Margaret. But what happens when they’re gone? When everyone is gone? Do we only get one door? I know it’s silly…”

“It’s not silly,” he tells her, pulling her in closer. “I’ve had the same conversation with myself many times since I was turned all those years ago. I wish I had an answer for you. I’ve never met a ghost who turned down their door.”

Emma thinks for a while, considering this. “What do you think is on the other side?” she asks finally.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “All I know is that I don’t want any part of it if you’re not there beside me.”

Emma wraps her arms around his waist and places a kiss in the middle of his chest, right over his heart.

Another month passes and the four of them are sitting at the table having breakfast on one of those wonderful lazy Sunday mornings where everyone got to sleep in and then stumble down for coffee, nobody in any rush to get anywhere.

Suddenly, Killian looks up from the paper and asks the group: “What day is it?”

“Sunday,” Mary Margaret answers, giving him a confused look.

He shakes his head. “No, the number.”

“The 28th,” David answers equally confused. Killian stares at him.

“David, last night was the full moon.”

David’s eyes widen.

“Holy shit,” Emma says. “Dude, you skipped your time of the month and didn’t even realise!”

David looks at them all, shocked. This is huge. They knew he didn’t necessarily change on the full moon anymore, but to know that it didn’t even need to be a part of his life anymore. That he didn’t have to worry, to stress, to fear. It’s huge.

Mary Margaret clears her throat. They all turn to her.

“He’s not the only one…”

Emma’s eyes go wide. “Are you?” She asks and Mary Margaret nods, taking David’s hand. Both of them wearing smiles so bright it’s almost blinding. She nods and Emma jumps up from her seat rushing over and hugging her friends. Killian looks at the three of them, confused.

“She’s pregnant, you idiot,” David explains and Killian’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

“Bloody hell,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “We’re gonna have a baby?”

David bursts out laughing at his friend’s rocked expression and choice of words.  

“Yeah, man,” he says, coming over to

clap Killian on the back. “We’re having a baby.”

Emma and Mary Margaret look over at their boys bemusedly. Mary Margaret giggles. “You know, he’s actually handling it better than David did,” she jokes and Emma smiles at her husband who seems to have finally snapped out of it and is now wrapping David in a giant bear hug, patting him on the back and congratulating him.

She’s so happy, really, she is. As she puts her hand on her friend’s still flat stomach and asks her all the questions you’re supposed to ask, she’s all smiles and excitement and happy. But there’s something, a little thought or feeling in the back of her mind that she can’t shake. A little dark cloud that she doesn’t understand but that continues to follow her around for the rest of the day. And as the day goes on the cloud grows, becomes darker and heavier until it consumes her and Killian finds her hiding in their bedroom, curled up beside the bed, trying and failing to cry the awful feeling out.

“Hey,” Killian says, voice worried and soothing all at once as he rushes over to her side. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He sits next to her and gathers her into his lap, rocking her gently as he strokes her hair and hushes her cries. “Love, please, tell me what happened,” he begs and Emma’s cries get louder.

“I don’t know,” she sobs, her whole body shaking. “I guess… I - I didn’t even know it was something I wanted. I don’t even know if I want it… but now I can’t ever have it,” she tries to explain, her hand curling into the fabric of his shirt. And that’s it. That’s the feeling that’s been following her around, the one that’s been gnawing at her since Mary Margaret told them all she was having a baby. A baby. Something Emma never thought about wanting. Something she can never have. She’s dead. She’s dead and so are her chances of having a child, of having children. She’ll never have babies, never have Killian’s babies. And it hurts.

“Oh, love,” Killian says and she can hear the sadness in his voice, wonders if he’s only sad for her or if there’s a part of him that hurts as much as she does. They stay there, curled up on the bedroom floor until the first rays of morning sun make their way through the window.

[unholyhelbig]

Can you do the black Eye au (From Au ideas) where Aubrey is a self- defense instructor and Emily punches her right in the face during a lesson on confidence?

[A/N: Sure thing dude. Heads up, I’m very overworked and very tired right now so this is absolute shit! anyway, hope you guys have a great day!] 

Emily felt like this place needed motivational posters. Not the kind that were outlined in black and had a scenic picture of the still water that backed a mountain top. They would talk about synergy and how to work in a company better. But this place was drab enough to need a couple of fluffy cats plastered to the wall. Hang in there, don’t furget to be awesome. She smiled at herself and pulled the t-shirt over her head.

“You won’t completely hate it,” Chloe said, pulling her sneaker into her lap as she struggled with the laces. They were discolored in a powdery terra cotta. She played a lot of baseball with a local league, which is exactly where she had seen the flyer for this course in the first place.

“It’s exercise, Chloe. I hated it before we started.” Beca said, her foot resting on the bench as she laced up her own joggers. “I broke a sweat getting changed. Is that not enough to appease you?”

The answer was a firm no. Chloe had an overbearing sense of safety when it came to people she loved in her life. It started with the little things: she would make sure Emily’s shirt was tucked in before she went to the office and leave little sticky notes on the mirror of their apartment telling her to be confident before a meeting. She had bought Emily a taser when she started taking the subway, and now she had convinced her girlfriend to join them for a lesson in self-defense. It was all because she cared.

“That radio station is sketchy, babe.” Chloe continued, tugging at the tongue of her sneaker before she shoved her foot into it. “I don’t like the way Ryan looks at you.”

“He’s my co-host on a radio show. You don’t know how he looks at me.”

“I gave him a background check when I hired him.” Emily defended, earning a hard glare from the redhead. “or, you know, totally can’t check for personality on those things.”

Emily closed her locker and got a raised eyebrow from Beca. She had been no help to the situation, but she couldn’t’ quite refuse the offer to a class like this. More like she was two drinks in when Chloe leaned close and asked her to take it with her. It was hard to so no to eyes like that, especially when her bottom lip jutted and began to quiver.

That’s how she ended up at the YMCA on her only night off during the week. The locker room was thick with the scent of floral perfume and pool water. “Let’s just give it a chance. I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“You’re too hopeful, Legacy,” Beca said, slamming her own locker shut with a clang.

The training room reminded Emily of a karate studio that her older brother insisted on dragging her to when she still lived at home. He lasted about a week before he figured out, he wouldn’t’ actually be able to break boards of wood with the strike of his hand. It had the same squishy blue mats and could fit the three of them plus four more, which was a good start. Emily still thought it smelled like feet.

She rocked back and forth on her heels and didn’t exactly know why here palms were sweating as much as they were. Maybe it was the odd number of people in the class or the fact that Chloe had her chin resting on Beca’s shoulder as she tried to scold her into actually behaving for a forty-five-minute class for once in her life.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that Emily’s eyes met with the instructors almost immediately. She had seen her reflection in the mirror, attention caught by the shift of light. She was blonde, a stoic look on ever-tender features that seemed to soften when she lifted her eyebrows at Emily- still in the mirror, her fingers clenching a water bottle that had the YMCA logo on it, and Emily wondered if this was her full-time job or just something she liked to pass along. Either way, she had to be passionate about it.

“Alright, you guys!” She caught the rooms attention as she took perch at the very front, Chloe untangling herself from her girlfriend as she gave Emily a half-hearted nudge, lifting her eyebrows as if to say this looked more legit than a flyer at the softball field. “My name is Aubrey and I am your instructor in self-defense for the next couple of weeks. Can anyone tell me why it’s important to know how to defend yourself?”

Beca crinkled up her nose and raised her hand halfway, “Um, so we don’t… die?”

“Well yes,” The instructor cracked a smile and Emily thought that was about the most beautiful thing she had seen in the world. “Hopefully it would never come to that point, but in your worst-case scenario, it is a primal defense against death.”

Aubrey tucked her hands behind her like she was giving military orders and lifted her chin. “Women walk around constantly in fear. We can’t get to our cars safely anyone without shoving our keys through our fingers to use as a makeshift weapon. But today, I’m going to teach you guys something a little more effective. Krav Maga.”

Emily was trying to pay attention, she was. She had been instantly captivated by the stern looks that were thrown across the room at all the woman who surrounded her. Even Beca had quieted as she listed to the woman talk, which was a feat in itself.

“There are five steps when it comes to defending yourself with Krav Maga: Avoid, Prevent, De-escalate, defend, and then fight if necessary.” Aubrey looked around the room “Over the course of the next few weeks, I’ll teach you different defense moves. Today, It’s all about the open-handed strike.”

“Like a bitch slap?”  

Chloe shoved her elbow into Beca’s ribs, earning a sharp exhale of air before giving her a pointed glare. Aubrey chuckled and that smile returned back to her face. The one that distracted Emily to no end.

“Kind of like a bitch slap, but it’s calculated. I’m going to need someone to come up here so I can demonstrate it.” She should have known that those orbs of green speckled with icebergs of blue would find hers. It was met with an almost teasing expression that made her press her legs together softly to quell the heat. Maybe it was the workout clothes. “How about you?”

“Emily,” Her voice broke like a teenager asking a girl to the dance.

“Right, Emily. Can you come up here with me?”

She nodded dumbly and realized with appt speed that Aubrey smelled floral and musky all at once. Like a tobacco pipe filled with fresh clippings of lavender. She almost forgot about the crowd of women watching her and the stupid smug look on Chloe’s face as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Right, so can I see your hand?” Emily nodded again and took notice in the giant floor to ceiling mirrors that her cheeks had reddened significantly. Her skin buzzed where Aubrey had taken her hand as she curled her fingers back and traced them along her heated skin. “A punch can do a lot, but it can also wind up hurting you more than your attacker. You need to strike someone with the base of your palm where it meets your wrist. Nothing above or below.”

She took a step back but continued to hold Emily’s hand. “say I was your attacker, you would keep your elbow lined with you rib and use a punch like motion to hit at my eyes, or my jaw. It works more effectively if you head for the eyes, though.”

Aubrey went through the motions a few times, guiding Emily’s hand in a way that would just barely miss her face as she angled it slightly away before she told the rest of the group to break up in pairs and try exactly as she had- without actually making contact, of course. Emily took note of Beca shaking out her arms like she was preparing for a noble war and Chloe rolling her eyes before steadying her position. Aubrey watched them for a few moments before turning to face Emily.

“What to try it without me taking the lead?” She asked, softly in a tone that she hadn’t used in the class so far. “I promise it’s not as intimidating as it looks.”

“Yeah, yes,” Emily said, squaring her shoulders.

She had gone through the motions like it was second nature, and that wasn’t something easy with someone like Aubrey staring her down with a prideful smile and a bit of a sparkle in her eyes. She ducked down each time, missing the way Emily’s palm thrust forward.

“Is this your first self-defense class?” Aubrey asked, “Because you seem like a natural.”

“No, I’m just like, this super kickass vigilante at night.”

“Is that so?” Aubrey snorted “Than what’s your name? Every great vigilante I know has a super cool persona.”

“White Thunder.” Emily blurted out with a smile.

“Is that because you’re super-fast, or?”

“No.” She deadpanned, “I’m just really pale, and kind of loud.”  

Aubrey laughed and Emily decided that she liked the way her eyes crinkled at the sides when she did. Emily beamed and went through the motions, pushing her palm forward like it was second nature because at this point, it was.

She hadn’t accounted for Aubrey not moving back, or the loud sound that moved through the room when the base of her palm came in contact with the side of Aubrey’s face. She instantly pulled back and sucked in a sharp breath, moving her fingers to her mouth “Oh my stars!”

“Oh, ow” Aubrey hissed out, blocking the area of her eye as she scrunched up her nose and Emily stiffened. “Right in the face.”  

“Aubrey I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, it’s fine, we’re fine” She moved her palm and blinked a couple of times, trying to regain composure. A deep purple bruise to the point of black had already started to form against soft skin. It made the color of her eyes pop and Emily’s heart twinge. “I just- have you always had a twin?”

“Maybe you should sit down.”

“Okay, yes, yeah.”

The instructor blinked a couple of times before she allowed Emily to lower her to the spongy mat. Aubrey was a good teacher, that much was clear, if Emily could shift her laser focus to dizzy, then any attacker willing to try something could easily be thwarted. The second thing Emily realized was how many eyes were on the two of them, still standing at the front of the class.

Aubrey put her head against the cool glass of the mirror. “I think the class is over for today guys, good work”

Beca let out something that was a mix between a laugh and a scoff, and Chloe couldn’t help the smile that was on her lips. The rest of the class gave sparing glances before resounding to shrugging their shoulders and going to the locker room that smelled too much like sweat and cucumber melon.

“I’m going to go get some ice,” Chloe said, biting back her smile, “Beca?”

“I don’t know where the ice is- Oh!” She narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend, who gave her a pensive stare “Oh, yeah. No, we’ll find it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Emily pleaded, kneeling next to Aubrey as the woman pressed her fingers to her temple. She ignored the sound of the door creaking open and then closing a few seconds later. It left them in a start silence for a few moments.

“I’m good, White Lightning.” Aubrey moved her stare to Emily, despite the nasty bruise stretching against her eye, she had a small smile on her face. “Though, I should have known better going up against a superhero.”

“White Thunder, but nice try,” Emily said moving her cool fingers under Aubrey’s chin as she got a better look at the colors that overtook her face. “Oo, I got you good.”

“It’s not the first time, trust me.” She moved a breath into her lungs easily “It is the first time I’m going to make the person buy me a drink, though.”

“Oh really?”

“You’ve wounded me, Emily. The least you can do is entertain the idea of a whiskey.”  

[mrscasnovak]

Yandere Bruce Banner HC

Bruce Banner is bae <3 

Bruce is shy around people

He is less shy around Tony, but you he doesn't know how to feel

You make him brave but also completely nervous

He can feel the ‘Other Guy’s’ voice ringing through his head to take what is his, to take you from prying eyes

You notice that Bruce seemed more jumpy than usual, so you ask him if he wants to watch Doctor Who with you

He stammers, wide-eyed and red cheeked unsure of what to do

You just smiled and grabbed his hand leading the way to watch your favourite show

He is in disbelief, your skin is so soft, he hears the ‘Other guy’ purring in the deep recesses of his mind at your touch

You let go of his hand, as you go into the kitchen to make him a cup of tea

Meanwhile on the couch, Bruce sat wringing his hands

SHE IS OURS! TAKE HER! NOW! CRUSH ANYONE THAT GETS IN THE WAY! 

Bruce closed his eyes at the onslaught of the ‘Other Guy’ roaring in his head

He brought his hands up to head, trying to block out everything

Walking into the common area, you noticed Bruce with his head in his hands

You set his cup of tea down and place a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at you with wide eyes

Bruce felt a hand softly touch his shoulder causing him to look up from his mental argument

You calmed his inner rage, you made everything so much better, he felt like a better person just being in your presence

“Are you okay?” you asked concern present in your voice

“Y-yeah, thank you.” He said quietly, while he pushed his glasses up his nose

“I am glad, ready to watch some Doctor Who?” you asked sitting cross-legged on the seat next to Bruce

Bruce nodded, as he became more comfortable around you

Everything was perfect, you made his tea perfectly and watching his favourite program with you

Boi is in perfect bliss

Nothing can ruin this perfect moment

Well, until Tony walked in

Bruce swears that Tony has something that lets him know when Bruce is alone with you

“Hey, whatcha guys watchin’?” Tony asked grabbing himself a glass of whiskey and plopping down between you and Bruce

“Hi, Iron-ass, no one else around to bug?” You quipped, a smile on your face

“Oh, how you wound me.” Tony said as he put his hand to his heart, acting wounded

“Drama queen…” you muttered

“To answer your question, watching Doctor Who.” You replied clicking to the next episode

“Wanna join?” You asked being nice

Bruce growled not wanting his precious time with you ruined

Tony looked towards Bruce, before replying to you

“I would love to, but I gotta get some stuff done for Eyepatch. Thanks for the offer sweet-cheeks.” He replied throwing a wink your way before sauntering out of the room

Bruce had a dark look in eyes as he watched Tony leave the room

“You okay, Brucie?” You asked before your eyes fell upon the current episode that was playing

“Peachy…” he muttered before moving closer to you on the couch, your legs  touching

What turned into a few episodes, became a massive binge watching session

Bruce couldn’t be happier, he had never spent this much time alone with you before

He was in heaven

Halfway through your marathon, he finally had made up his mind

He was going to take you away, from everything

The only thing that him and the ‘Other guy’ agreed on was you    

He waited several weeks, before he enacted his plan, everyone was out doing their own thing, even you.

He made sure everything was in place, for the both of you

Erasing any possible footage that may have caught anything he was planning, he made sure to erase

Making sure he had the bags with your stuff, he placed them into the back of his car, before closing the trunk lid

Getting into his car, he made the decision to follow you *cough stalk you cough*  

Easily finding you, he bade his time, watching you as you walked around a smaller part of New York

You didn’t notice how dark it got, you spent most of the day window shopping and enjoying a very rare day off

Deciding to walk back to the Tower, you were a mile or so away, making use of the dark alleyways [ not the smartest idea, you have had]

Hearing a empty can being moved, you stopped and quickly turned around only to see darkness before you

Moving your eyes to check for any anomalies, you found nothing

Shrugging your shoulders, you turned back around to continue on your way

Feeling someone’s gaze on you, you stopped and spun around yelling into the darkness, the only sound was your previous yell, ringing into the  darkness

You breathed deeply trying to shake off your nerves

You heard someone call your name

“Hi [Name]”

Spinning back around quickly, you spotted someone in front of you

“Fucking Hell!?!” You shouted not expecting anyone to be in front of you

“Can I help you? How do you know my name?” You asked feeling creeped out

The stranger in front of you, cloaked in darkness remained silent

“O-okay, then.” You muttered as you walked around the stranger, only to be thrown back into the brick wall to your right

“Shit!” You grunted as your back hit the wall

“What the hell is your problem?!” You yelled trying to push your attacker back, only to be pushed back more forcefully, causing your head to hit the wall

Bright spots danced across your vision, as you tried to regain your balance

You felt yourself being pulled up by your jacket, only to have unknown lips being pressed to yours, in your shock you swallowed whatever your assailant had slipped into your mouth

Feeling darkness creep up on your vision, you started to swing your fists hoping to collide with something [preferably your attackers face]

Dodging your slow feeble attempt at punching, your attacker side-steps out of your trajectory, and watches as you fall towards the ground

“I am sorry, [Name]. This is the only way.” The stranger said as he watched your eyes close

You awoke to the sun shining brightly, too brightly

Now completely awake, throwing the sheets off your body, you walk to the window by the bed

Looking out the window, you realized why the sun was so bright…

There was snow on the ground, a lot of snow

Your eyes widened as you noticed a thick forest out by the far-reaching edges of the house.

‘More like cabin’ You thought

You still had no idea who brought you here

You could hardly remember anything from the night before

You sighed rubbing your temples, trying to figure a way out of this

“Good morning, [Name]”

You jumped not expecting the voice beside you

“What the-?” You exclaimed falling off the side of the bed

Looking up from the floor, you noticed that is was Bruce that said good morning to you

“Bruce, Wha-What is going on?” You stammered climbing back on to the bed

Bruce is quiet, he doesn’t want to tell you  

“Bruce tell me. What is going on here?” You asked progressively becoming more agitated

“[Name], please, just calm down.” Bruce said trying to placate you

“Here, I made us breakfast.” Bruce said, trying to redirect the conversation slightly

“Are you the one that attacked me in the alleyway? And you brought me here, why?” You asked again

Bruce looked nervous, which confirmed your suspicions

“Bruce, What The Hell?! Why Would You Do This?” You yelled your voice raising showing your anger

Bruce sighs *Why won’t you stop being angry at him?*

Pouty Boi

Why can’t you accept that he is doing this for you? Everything he has done is always for you

“[Name], this is for you, for us.” Bruce said getting up to pace around the bed

Begs you to eat, he knows that you get angerier on an empty stomach

After much begging and pleading, you finally relent and eat the breakfast he had placed in front of you

Once you took a bite of the food that lay before you, you realized the just how hungry you were

Bruce watched as you all but devoured the food in front of you.

Finishing the food that was before you, you looked towards Bruce narrowing your eyes

“Talk….Now” You growled your arms across your chest, unintentionally emphasizing your chest

Bruce’s jaw almost dropped, before he shook his head to get rid of any distracting thoughts

“I don’t have anything to say to defend or excuse my actions.” Bruce said as he lowered his head

Your hardened gaze on him, never left his form

“Then take me home.” You growled

Bruce looked up at you, eyes wide

‘No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no’ Were the thoughts running through his head

What was left of Bruce’s sanity snapped. He gave you a soft smile and replied “Okay, your right, [Name].”

“Thank you, Bruce. We can forget this ever happened.” You said, returning his smile

“Okay, well, why don’t you take a shower? I will get everything ready and we can leave.” He said as he left you to your own devices

‘You were grimy..’ You thought as you walked towards the bathroom and started the shower, warm steam filling the bathroom quickly

Bruce stood in the living room, as he heard the shower turn on, before he enacted his plan

After washing yourself of the dirt/grime and all over stress of your experience

Turning off the shower and stepping out, you wrapped a towel around yourself to dry off

After you finished drying yourself off, you put on some clean clothes and walked out of the steamy bathroom

You noticed the cabin seemed colder somehow, and Bruce was nowhere to be found….

“Bruce?” You called out, also noticing the absence of light in the cabin

Your nerves were on end, something wasn't right

You heard something behind you, spinning around to face whatever was behind you, however you didn’t get very far as something hard smacked against the side of your head. Dizzying you,it made it easier for Bruce to carry you to the master bedroom and lock you up.

~ Minutes Later…~  

You awoke out of your daze, fighting, only to realize that there wasn’t anyone fighting you

You jumped out of bed ready to run, only to be yanked back by something holding your ankle, you looked down and noticed a chain tying you to the bed

He legit chained you to a bed. He didn’t want to do this, but your forced his hand

“[Name], I didn’t want it to come to this.” Bruce said as he bent down to help you back on to the bed

You fought him, even as he sat you on the edge of the bed

“Bruce!!! Goddamnit Let Me Fucking Go!” You shouted getting into his face

Calmly sighing as you yelled and ranted in front of him

“You Will see that this is for the best.” he says as he leaves the room, and you to the darkness

A week, that is how long you last. You wanted to last longer, you really did.  

But...living with so many people, you were never completely alone

Now, it was taking a toll on you, you didn’t like the loneliness or the darkness. It was too silent….

You didn’t like this!

Bruce came back, into the room and you would have jumped on him from excitement, if the chain wasn’t holding you to the bed

“ Hi, [Name]! I brought you some food.” He said sitting everything on the bed and taking a seat next to you

You jumped on Bruce when he sat next to you, and you basked in his warmth and scent

This is his favourite place wrapped in your arms

Nuzzling your head, into the side of his face and neck

Bruce tries to hold back a moan, as you rub your soft cheek against his.

The soft scent of your body wash and shampoo that still lingers on your body envelopes him

The Hulk purred inside Bruce’s head, feeling Bruce’s content emotions

“[Name], would you like to go back?”

You shook your head no, wanting to stay with him.

Bruce smiled, he had never been so happy before

“ Come on, let’s go take a shower.”

You nodded with excitement, as you let him lead you to the bathroom

He won’t ever let you go, you keep him sane. You are his now and forever

[smrtboi2120-blog]

Absence/From The Heart

So I’ve been gone quite some time. But as usual, I don’t want to spend too much time on that and I just want to dive into reflection and feelings concerning my mother. But I should mention some things. I felt compelled to start this blog, and it’s almost like, once I started it and wrote so much in the beginning, it relived a lot of what I was struggling with inside about all this, so I didn’t feel as compelled to write anymore. That and I’ve gotten busier and busier getting my life back together.

My life right now feels crazy. My mom’s appearing sicker and sicker from chemo treatment. I just received some very concerning news about a family member very close to my heart. And I’ve just seen 3 of the greatest films of the year within a 2 week period. My life feels so intense. It sounds silly but it’s true. I wouldn’t call it a dream, because I feel that implies something I desire. And I wouldn’t call it a movie because that implies a base of fiction, and this is all very real. Surreal would probably be the right word to describe this.

But let me just dive into free flowing thoughts about my mom and see what becomes of this.

I think about my mom and how I remember her when I was smaller. She had a lot of energy. She still does now, but it’s hidden and fighting under an ugly sickness, I don’t know how to address it properly. Cancer sounds so scary.

She’s lost basically all of her hair now. I tell her to shave it so it doesn’t look so....I don’t know...outstanding in a rough sort of way basically. But I think she’d like to hang on to all the hair she can.

It’s so hard for me to talk about my mom like this. She always seemed so strong to me, and she still does, but it’s hard to think about how this sickness is bringing her down, or at least trying to.

It’s been so long and I’d rather save time by not re-reading everything so far so I’m not sure if I’m repeating myself. But she’s putting all of us to shame. She’s still busy running around the house, keeping things in order and clean. What are we going to do without her. Us two males, my stepfather and me might become quite lost. My mom doesn’t want me to think that way of course, but I cannot help it.

Have I talked about how my mom is my best friend in the whole world? She is my whole world. I know that probably doesn’t sound exceptional. I’m sure most people are close to their mothers and I’m just another person. But this is all I can do as my own person, my own personal “catharsis” for all this as my sister said.

Maybe I should talk about what my mom was long when I was much smaller, in her younger years. She was very outgoing with all her female friends early on from what I can remember in my early adolescence. Actually, there were multiple times where I would cry so hard at night missing her and hoping she was okay when she stayed out late. I just couldn’t slip. My brain insisted on crying until she came home. That’s just one of many examples of my extreme attachment. It may be a bad thing, but it is what it is. I’m not going to shy away from it now, in this moment.

It’s been hard seeing her get sicker and sicker, suffering side effects from the chemo. But as long as it works, I believe this wil be all worth it. She had stomach problems, and then we got her medicine for that. She complained of severe throat pain and started losing her voice so I googled remedies for that on reddit like I do for EVERYTHING and like I’ve been doing for EVERYTHING concerning her and even my own personal life and daily remedies I need. And I saw that honey/ginger/and lemon tea seemed to be a popular soothing solution. So I made her some and it seemed to make a difference.

I know it seems small compared to everything else, but I don’t know, I don’t know what else to do. I feel so helpless so many times thinking about it. I’m ashamed I might not be a good son. That I’m not stronger. That I’m not more independent. I can’t help it. I’m not trying to make excuses and I can explain it but that’s not what I want this to be about. I wish I could make this go away for her with all of my might. Like I wish I could hug and squeeze the sickness out of her. I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless. Sometimes I feel inadequate, but medication is help even/block that out. 

Then she got a bloody nose recently and that’s worried us. But again, I just want her to be strong because I know chemo is the most effective form of treatment we basically have, so all my faith is in it. I just want to keep her weight up and her emotions high.

Not so long ago we got into an argument that I really regret. And I’ve vowed to never get into another argument with her again, no mater what, to keep her stress levels as low as possible.

I even want her to stop going outside because I know she can protect her vital immune system that way. When I secluded myself for almost a whole year on two different occassions, I NEVER got sick during them. I firmly believe this is because I never left the house and we keep our house very clean. All the various viruses and bacteria are all out there, in the wild atmosphere. But I honestly don’t think I’m going to get her to stop. She wants to stay active and for things to appear as normal and possible, and I totally respect that. I just really really want to protect her health.

I could talk about us going to the movie theater together, but idk. That’s not really striking me right now.

I might of mentioned this before, but something that’s been consistent about the way my brain has been dealing with this, is, a lot of times I’ll forget about this reality and like block out the fact that she’s sick and go about myself as if everything is fine, not thinking about it. I’ll sort of lose myself, like I really tend to do. And then, out of nowhere, like in some moments of boredom or stillness, it’ll hit me. How crazy it is to see my mom like this with such a grave sickness. The fact that I could very well lose her. The fact that the rest of my life could be without her completely. And then it just kills me. Like a punch in the gut, I lose the control or feeling of air or oxygen in my system and I sort of feel lifeless or like nothingness, a sort of loss of identity or purpose on top of the lack of them that I already have. And it only adds to the helplessness.

I really didn’t ever think things would be this way, that my life would turn out like this. I suppose I took my relationship with her for granted, but I don’t know, I just figured we still had some decades together. That eventually I would figure myself out and I could really start to pay my mom back and we could really start doing things together worthy of dreams. But now I don’t know if that time is ever going to come. It’s probably just best to look back on the life we had together for what it is. I don’t even know what to call it or how to classify or quantify it.

I should have been such a better son. As my mom said, this whole experience has been so “eye-opening”.

I miss my mom ALL THE TIME at work. ALL THE TIME. I just wish I could lay with her forever as she experiences this thing and rides it all out, however it ends. That’s why it’s so important for me to take her to chemo myself. I have to do this. I need to do a better job at creating moments with her while I still have her and I really am getting better rapidly and rapidly. It’s a funny thing what you do in desperate times when survival instincts really kick in. We should make simulators for that to help out people before things get seriously bad.

I’m fortunate enough to have sorted enough of my own problems out for this, to be able to be there for her in whatever capacity I am able to.

I want to get better and better at cleaning the house and upkeeping it, I’m going to have to, and I should have just in general. I’ve been cleaning the floors on my hands and knees and I’ve actually been enjoying it.

I really want my mom to write an epic list of everything important about life, all her advice, her guidelines, her tips, her ways. I want her to write a book. A guide to life for me. So she could still be with me when she’s gone. Maybe we’ll start to work on that, but I’m so busy.

I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying to get better, I really am, and I truly believe I’m making quite the head way. I miss her every moment I’m gone. When I drove to the theater in Chicago alone for the first time in a long time, I immediately felt her abscence in the car as I started to make the drive there. It was so quick and powerful, so noticeable and loud. It hurt so much. I seriously debated turning the car around and just staying home and hugging her. But I know she wouldn’t want me to do that. She would want me to live my own life and follow my own desires, as hard as that may be for me.

I’m getting tired unfortunately, but frankly I’m quite proud I finally got around to writing this. I told myself today at work that this was the first thing I was going to do after spending time with her when I got home from work until she fell asleep, if it’s the last thing I do. And I did it.

I just think about the punishment I’m seeing her body and mind and spirit take and I just have to block it out and fight the thoughts because if I really think about it, I might lose it. The reality of living a life without her in it at all is so mindblowing, it just leaves me with no air, that’s the best way to describe it. It feels like this huge black hole or void engulfs my whole chest/rib cage inside of me. I want to be a better son, a better person, and I am working on it. So far, so good.

Hopefully I don’t take a long break from writing here again. I’d like to get more specific or focused next time, but I just really wanted a legit refresher at least and I think I got it. I still have to go into more depth about what she was like when I was much smaller, a child. You guys, please ask specific questions to help spark ideas from me, to bring it out from me, and to keep me writing. 

I don’t know. It feels like such a crazy ridiculous time. And I’m always worried that my anxiety will come back and I’ll shut off and seclude once more, but luckily it hasn’t really these past couple months especially. You have NO IDEA how truly grateful I am for that. And you have no idea how grateful I am for everyone’s support. I want to send a special shout out to my close internet friends Rosa, Chelsea, and Lily who were there for me from the first day I found out about my mother’s sickness and have always made themselves available for me throughout this whole time and have never really faltered. And a big thanks to each and every one of my family members for everything they’ve done, the gifts they bring, and the love they give. It’s invaluable. And to my co-workers who know my mom, thank you for your kind words and concerns.

Alright, I’ll leave for now and just be happy that I did this.

[thiswasasuperterribleidea]

I’m baaack!

And I know I’ve said this before, but this time I am “back back” like, “big mad”…but “big back”, so I am “BIG mad, and BIG back”.

The only reason I ever took my little blogging hiatus was because some stuff went down, and I promised Darren I wouldn’t let strangers in on his life choices and share and blog about it…. But then I opened my big ass mouth, broke my promise and told actual real life humans what was going on… and now he hates me for a handful of reasons soooo FUCK IT, HERE’S THE TEA!!!! (PS-Sorry for acting as if you aren’t real life humans…. You know you’re my virtual fam for life)

So while you were all out enjoying your holidays, and I was remaining silent.. I was busy having really, REALLY hot breakup sex. The kind where you can barely make it up the stairs without ripping eachother’s clothes off, driving 30 minutes away at midnight for a quickie, and fucking in the kitchen before making it to the couch or bed..,. yeah it was THAT hot.

And yet here I am, after all that hot and dying for more sex… currently eternally blocked…  for the second and fair enough… probably final time… I’m calling it my third breakup…. WITH THE SAME DUDE.

So of course me and Darren have broken up way more than 3 times. But here’s the logic I have recently created. (Which is obviously very illogical, along with almost all of my thoughts).  I never once accepted our breaking up.  Legit until about a month ago when he brought some new broad around in public and I had to watch them check into a hotel room directly next to mine, and black out and sleep with a pillow over my ears so I didn’t hear them fucking through the hotels paper thin walls…. *takes massive gasp for air after that run on sentence * That did it for me TBH.  I think that would do it for anyone TBH. But I like to think that I almost accepted him breaking up with me one time prior... Back in May –ish when I was essentially kicked out on the mean streets and living with my Nonny, Darren dumped me for what iiiii personally consider to be the first time. (He’ll for sure say it was probably the 50th time). I was so devastated, I decided I’d go out and buy a Louis Vuitton bag cause it made me feel like a boss ass bitch.  It legit made me feel sooo good though. Like I was still shopping around the mall after, and store employees and other shoppers were having me unpack the bag and pose with the bag showing them which one I got. I was strutting around Nordstrom like the boujee girl that I am while everyone “oooed and ah-ed”. It was as close as I was to being famous before this blog. (Still not close to being famous lol)  Thennnn, the other day I decided no break up can be deemed a breakup until a new Louis Vuitton is purchased. SO. Here we are, the first step in recovery… ACCEPTANCE.  While I bought hundreds of other things when Darren broke up with me at the end of August, I didn’t buy a Louis.  So now that I’m making dumb money at my job, I decided I’d backtrack and make all these breakups official. So in May I bought my first child.. and today I bought my second and third. So I had bought brown leather in May, so now it’s time for a white bag to make up for the August break up. But let’s be real. We broke up in August, but it was NOT cold turkey. Darren loves telling me “WE BROKE UP 6 MONTHS AGO YOU OBSESSIVE FUCKING WEIRDO” But let me just say, breaking up 6 months ago and having breakup sex on Christmas is not exactly a 6 month old breakup…SO third breakup is right now, present day, and I of course think I deserve another bag for that too! So I bought myself a Louis clutch as well. (Which is really the only thing I intended to buy in the first place… but I’ve been listening to my girl Ariana Grande too much lately, and 7 Rings is a verrrry dangerous song . SO therefore I was over inspired  to buy them both). And now. I have accepted my three breakups, the third of which I completely created on my own to justify retail therapy, and now just like that…I have a realistic mind set on where I’m at.

So let me stop rambling, and explain what you’re actually looking to hear. This part isn’t going to be long. Or funny. Because it’s something I want out of my head, not to talk about but I want you guys to be able to follow my mind. Darren teased me with the idea of trying again. He was very open and honest, and the whole thing was my idea.. but he agreed that if we were to continue hooking up and talk a little here and there, that we could potentially try again. Now he did let me know he was also talking to someone else, that he did have feelings for them, and that he did not have feelings for me. Dope. So my dumbass went forward with opening my legs, and arguing with him over time he spent fucking me but not talking to me. GUYS- we all know go with the flow is not my fucking thing. But the sex was toooo good. Still too good. Like better than any other sex I have had. I’m thinking it hasss to be in my head now. Like I must be ruining other experiences for myself just comparing penises… anyway besides the point. I ruined it by insecure arguing over who he was spending time with instead of me. And now I have no hot breakup sex, or communication with Darren.

But the thing is. I don’t get me... I am doing well. Really well. It’s not a front. It’s not me tricking myself. I do positive things for myself and my mind all of the time and I feel good about them and I am happy. I feel good about myself, my life, where I’m at. But for some reason… I can’t control my other thoughts. It’s like whenever I talk to Darren, (WHICH I SHOULDN’T EVER BE DOING) my mind screams out, “TELL HIM HOW SAD YOU ARE, LET YOUR DESPARTE OUT, TELL HIM HOW IN LOVE WITH HIM YOU ARE” As if my mind thinks that’s doing myself a favor, or telling him what he wants to hear.. when I know it isn’t. So let me brag to all of you people, and maybe it’ll help you guys. So here’s some more classic advice from your emotionally unstable girl.

I meditate before going to bed, and first thing in the morning. Instead of waking up and texting Darren to see if I am unblocked, or to continue an argument…. I do a 5 minute meditation. Insecurity was always something I struggled with, so I wake up and tell myself things I like about myself. It doesn’t matter if anyone else likes them about me, because what I’ve been working on is falling in love with myself. Sometimes it’s my appearance.. like my eyebrows are on fucking point. Or …my life may not be perfect, buy my eyelashes always are!!!  Or I remind myself of the freckles on my nose that I always make sure I don’t cover up with my concealer. Or my smile with my big white teeth, and disappearing top lip. I make sure to look in the mirror and be happy with what I have and to not get down on myself and pick out everything I see is wrong. Darren was a pro at comparing me to anyone else. Like how this new girl is a dime, and I am just kind of cute and that’s all I’ll ever be. What the fuck, right??? Sometimes it’s not my appearance at all… it’s how big my heart is. How despite what people have put me through, I still try to see the best in them and not let their nasty traits or actions be what I judge them for. It’s my vulnerability, that makes me a good human. Or the fact that I am good at my job. Dwight was a good mentor to me, Darren helped me from time to time. But now this is me. Or even the little details about me like how I close my eyes and lift my feet and make wishes over railroad tracks. (I NEED AT LEAST ONE OF YOU TO TELL ME YOU’VE HEARD OF THAT BEFORE BY THE WAY). I am a hopeless romantic and I love it. I am an awesome fucking person.

I started karate classes again! (I know weird flex, right?)

Well I did karate when I was a kid. Like 5 year old kid. I quit when I was 10. I did it with my family friend Zach. I would cry every time I had to go to class. It was because once I reached a certain age, we had to spar . Like put on full head pieces, equipment and fight for points. I was the only girl and I would always spar against Zach who I had a massive little kid crush on because he was like… the only boy I even knew lol. And one night sparing, he punched me in the area of what I still to this day call my non-existent boob. I was so humiliated so I went home cried and quit.

BUT NOWWW . I’m ready to get my black belt bitches. My Sensai and I did the math the other night. I haven’t been to classes in 14 years. 14 FUCKING YEARS, IT’S DAY 1  AND THIS GUY IS WORKING ME LIKE I’M STILL A PURPLE BELT AND CAN REMEMBER SHIT FROM BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I CAN BARELY EVEN REMEMBER WHAT CAR I DROVE HOME TONIGHT. It’s wild. But it’s so good for stress and honestly guys are such perverts that being single I deff need to know self defense on how to fuck a dude up. I’ve has some scary uber drivers.

Uhm uhm uhm what else do I have to report…

I have been talking to this kid. We’ve been out a bunch. He makes me really happy. He listens to me, always is so interested in my day, and is golden retriever innocent. But I’ve been trying to force it more than I should. He’s so sweet and so fun to talk to and hang out with which I love. But I just don’t feel the right sexual chemistry (ironic because he’s a science teacher ) . But like that is such a huge deal to me. Let’s be real … not all girls are comfortable saying they love sex.. But I LOVEEEE sex. No shame. It’s natural. But I am also very cautious of who I am sleeping with. I’ve told you my 3 time rule.  Anyway, the chemistry wasn’t right. And while this 2019 dating world is not something I have really ANY experience with… I decided the next move was “ghosting” . Kind of fucked up huh? I would hate that happening to me. I am such a talker, I need answers so bad. But I mean he wasn’t my boyfriend, we were just talking for a few months, I didn’t have the energy to explain myself and it was so causal like I just didn’t think I needed to. BUT THEN I MADE A ROOKIE MISTAKE. I planned to leave that night and never respond again. But as soon as I got in my car to drive home… I realized I was missing one of my hoop earrings. Mind you this was not just my 17 dollar cheap sterling silver hoop earrings…. This was my SOLID GOLD FAVORITE HOOP EARRING EVER.  I was so mad at myself. Girls literally do shit like this on purpose. They’ll leave earrings , or underwear fucking anything to prove they were there. Whether it be to make sure they have another excuse to talk to the guy again or to show any other girl that there’s someone else in his life too, it’s all an evil plot. BUT NOT ME. How could something like that happen to me by accident?!?! Just my damn luck. So I texted him and asked him to put the earring in his mailbox that way I don’t have to do a walk of shame back to my earring, and he can hopefully take the hint that was that. But no. The hint was not taken. I had to hit him with the classic Dwight line, “It’s not you, and it’s not me”. Lmao I am a bitch. It’s nothing I’m proud of honestly. But I am just truly done looking for anyone. I’m just waiting for my future husband to walk into my branch and rent a car, someone to just fall into my life. I am not searching, and I am not trying. I like being alone anyway. The only thing that I wish I had was someone to just lay with at the end of the night when I’m lonely to talk to about my day. Someone to wake up next to in the morning with their hands all over me making me late for work… Other than that I’m so busy Monday- Friday that I don’t even have time for a boyfriend. I’m finally content.

The only real problem I have is that my mind still races about blowing it with Darren. I have accepted it’s over, but I haven’t been able to cope well with the fact that I completely fucked up the only thing I wanted, which was him. But I have to be careful cause I haven’t calmed down enough for those restraining order threats to stop yet… and I don’t think they are threats any more.  I have to get better control over my emotions.

But now you guys are completely all caught up on my crazy ass life. I hope I didn’t get too boring on y’all. I’ll be back to posting regularly as soon as the next fucked up shit happens. Cause you knowwww there will be something. 

[strawberryspeachy]

K so like I talked to another dude from tinder last week

(I was talking to 5. The asshole my preivious posts were about, a dude I worked at the haunted house with, a French dude a state away, a Swedish dude who I’ve been talking to for a while and hopefully is not my next nightmare story cause he seems really cool, and this terrifying dude)

Anywho I add this dude and he talks pretty normal. He went on about how he didn’t have any friends which the other guy with 1000s of friends said as well - idk why tinder guys always give some kind of sob story- but he talked about how he likes doing art and stuff blah fine

So I agreed to meet him sometime and we picked getting pizza which was actually the same day I went out to meet the other guy afterwards.

So I see him and he looks a bit different and is just generally not what I find attractive at all - but I’m like whatever - I’m lonely I could always use more art friends.

Now what should have been strike 123 bye - he showed me a picture of a dead animal “he saw on his way and wanted to show me” and I was like wtf um why would you take a pic or show me. And he backtracked and talked about other stuff - I so bullits

1) he kept trying to shame me for not watching dragonball super recently while trying to tell me spoilers even though I told him repeatedly I didn’t wanna hear about it

2) he kept trying to convince me I should like random anime’s I don’t like and should get back into that shit

3) he kept shining a light on his keychain in my eyes when I told him to stop and tried to ok this by saying he liked being annoying

4) I said I was gonna leave if he kept doing one of those things and he put his foot up on my bench and told me not to

Ok so I should have never talked to him again after that esp since I was so bored that I just wanted to leave - but I wasn’t suffering. I also hung out with annoying ass kids in high school like that and didn’t really take most of it as grounds to just opt out

So he messaged me the night that dude had me drive to his house and then blocked me and I was upset and I mentioned it and also told him I’m not interested in him that way but that I’m ok with being friends (bad me bad me)

And he responded by saying he just wants friends and it’s fine but also immediately going “so this means you’re free Saturday” and since I felt bad entirely rejecting him I said I was and after a lot of me saying ya we can just meet up and hang out and him going let me take you to dinner and the movies and pick you up

And I just said fine after like 40 min of that

Ugh so Saturday comes and he didn’t overtext me or anything so I thought it was fine... time for bullit points again

1) it was pouring rain and he sped and stopped at the last second

He ran every stop sign I didn’t point out and when he’d see them as he passed them he just got angry

He had major road rage for absolutely no reason and was generally a bad driver and terrified me while he got angry at red lights and other people while he attempted to merge really badly. Also at me when I gave him directions far in advance and he’d act like it was last second as he acted like he didn’t understand “get in the right lane” for over a minute

2) he told me he bought me a Christmas present that was over 200 dollars and did this thing I realized he had been doing where when I tell him no thanks he gets offended going “you’re rejecting me??”

3) he told me he likes to cat call women but one time a girl liked it and it was weird to him and made him awkward

4) he told me when he lived in Mexico there were wild dogs that he and his family one time went and hit with baseball bats because sometimes they were territorial and would pretend they were gonna bite you and it scared him — mind you not in the same instance

5) he still kept shining that fucking light in my face all day no matter how many times I told him to stop

6) he was playing that whole “I’m a really nice guy so you should date me” russe and just making me really uncomfortable constantly asking me if I’m happy and that he’s doing this all to make me happy and like... I was being nice and friendly and hiding how uncomfortable I was so like... there was no reason for that

7) at the movies I took out my little squishy toy which I had showed him earlier and he had no interest in but because I was about to play with it he like demanded i give it to him to play with first which I didn’t cause the way he seemed he was totally gonna rip it in half

8) he spent like 10 minutes throwing his phone at me because “it was too heavy and he didn’t wanna hold it” HIS phone

9) he kept making plans for us for the future the whole day and ALL these things we were gonna do together

10) every story he told me from him not wanting birthday party’s to his friend cancelling plans with him after being so happy she cried last time he saw her to the male half of his family physically fighting over small stuff because that’s how men do things - was just creepy

By the end I seriously wanted to cry I was so uncomfortable and miserable like I couldn’t breathe.

Before we went in the theatre i thought “this boy might actually kill me and for the first time I would not appreciate that - I do NOT want him to be the last thing I ever see” that’s a first for me

And yet again my being stupid had got me in a predicament where a terrifying guy knows where I live and I’ve never wanted to block someone more but am afraid they’ll show up at my house

Like like like it’s not fair. It’s like life punishing me for freaking out at guys who entirely go out of their way to fuck with me and play with me and just be super mean to me after saying they want the complete opposite to me. And I just try to treat people nicely and considerately and instead get myself in situations with.... these terrifying guys

Like like I had a legit stalker in 8th and 9th grade. I wasn’t friends with this boy but he followed me around right behind me. Watched my every move. Memorized my schedual from when my bus got there to which hallways i took to each class and my morning hang out spots. Do you know how I got this stalker? He was a super weird kid that stuttered and picked his nose and shit but I didn’t make fun of him with everyone else. I don’t even specifically remember ever going out of my way to be nice to him I just remember telling my friends “aw leave him alone - he didn’t do anything to you” I assume I probably said hi to him in passing sometimes - or smiled at him briefly as I do with people I accidentally make eye contact with

What did I do to get a stalker? I treated him like a normal person and wasn’t an asshole to him. This is always how I end up having to deal with crazy people.

Literally so many that havnt entirely freaked me out to the point where I think they’ll show up at my house (I seriously had a strategy for if they dude from 8th grade showed up at my house) but just in general. I’ve had weird experiences with so many crazy people just because I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and treat them like humans.