#I know the second 2 look so similar that is why my closet is a mess ahaha

[fxreflyes]

new boots!! i have no idea how to style them so now my closet is mess

[jezabelle9299]

Broken Lungs S.R x FEM!Reader

CWs- Spoilers for season 5, depictions of asthma and use of a nebulizer, mentions of gunshot wounds, and health insurance not covering necessary medication.

Quick Infodump- Oxygen saturation levels should be 95-100%, lower than 93% should seek immediate help from a healthcare professional, and lower than 85% can cause severe damage to the brain because of a lack of oxygen.

Overture: Spencer is recovering from the knee surgery he needed after being shot in the field, when he sees a familiar face in the hospital being treated for an asthma attack.

A/N- This is based on my own experience with asthma, but it's different for everyone, so the relatability may vary with this one. But I was stuck at home all day because of an air quality alert so I did this instead of getting ready for the semester that starts in two weeks.

After one of his worst days in the field, Spencer ended the day in a hospital bed unable to walk. Hotch had been stabbed, and he had been shot. Both would be ok, and they were in separate hospitals to recover. The team alternated who would come to visit, and when. It usually took until the nurses kicked them out at the end of visiting hours, for them to actually leave. 

It’d been 2 days since his surgery, and the nurses had given him permission to walk around with his brace, on crutches. He’d never used them before, so he walked around the floor to the nurses’ station to get some more jell-o, and then around the hall back to his room. He allowed his curiosity (or nosiness) to get the better of him, occasionally glancing in at the people with their doors open, giving them a small smile or wave. Until he saw a familiar face. 

You’d worked for the FBI for a few years, working on the same floor as the BAU, but you weren’t in the field. You were sitting up in a hospital bed, playing solitaire in one hand, holding what looked like an oxygen mask to your face with the other. You looked up when you felt his eyes on you, and there he was, trapped in the doorway. You’d think you were hallucinating if not for the brace on his knee, and the crutches he was propping himself up on. He didn’t move from the threshold until you gave him a small wave, jumpstarting his movement into your room. 

You’d heard about Hotch’s incident, but you weren’t in the office yesterday, and since Spencer’s injury happened later in the day, you had no idea why he was here. You pulled the mask spraying (terrible tasting) medicine into your lungs from your face. You could stop for 30 seconds to see what he was here for. 

“Hey Spencer, what–um, what brings you here?” He hesitated, because you’d know since the 5th floor of the FBI building was the most gossip-ridden place he’d seen since high school. Yet he had no idea you’d be here. It’s not even as if you never talked, whenever he was in the office he’d stop by your desk to talk to you. He figured that you hadn’t gotten tired of him yet because he was gone a lot, although in reality you’d never tire of hearing his voice.

“I got shot in the knee, I’ll be fine, the real question is why are you here?” You’re sure it’s on government record, something Garcia could find in two minutes if she looked, but you still didn’t like talking about it. You knew it was stupid to be embarrassed of it, but you couldn’t help it. Every time it got brought up, you felt like the dorky character in a movie carting around their inhaler all the time, the butt of some cosmic joke. 

You preferred to think of it as an inconvenience more than anything. It didn’t come up often because you weren’t in the field, and when you needed to use an inhaler, you measured your breathing long enough to get to an empty bathroom or supply closet. You’d just blame the jitters that came after on too much coffee, and no one would ask any questions. This time, the inhaler wasn’t working, the next step in medication, a small machine similar to what you were supposed to be hooked up to now, wasn’t working either. So you drove to the ER feeling like you’d just run 10 miles, and they were making you stay 36 hours to give you stronger medication in intervals. 

“No reason.” You didn’t know why you even bothered with that response. Neither did Spencer, tossing you an apathetic look. He knew how squeamish you got when attention was drawn to something that made you look vulnerable, which is why he let it slide every time you walked into a supply closet looking flushed and panicked, with a soundtrack accompanying every time you took a breath, only to come out 5 minutes later with no supplies. 

 “Ok, really? Why would you even try it, you’re hooked up to a nebulizer and your oxygen saturation is at 90. What happened?” He was using the tone he only ever broke out for interrogations and proving Morgan wrong, but you still wanted to minimize the attention drawn to this not so glamorous piece of your life. You wanted Spencer to see you as someone he could date, even someone he could love, so this was not ideal to the image you’d been trying to show at work. 

“I have gross broken lungs. It’s really no big deal.” He laughed, but there was minimal humor behind it. Like he couldn’t even fathom you thinking this was ‘no big deal’. 

“I would venture to say you being in the hospital because you were unable to breathe is a very big deal.” While you loved when Spencer got a little bit cocky, you decided it would be more fun to make the little vein in his forehead appear again. So you tossed a vague shrug.

“Well I’d say getting shot is a much bigger deal. So why don’t you sit down, eat your jello, and tell me what happened to you, while I finish this thing.” He couldn’t argue with that, because at the very least he wanted you to feel better and the medicine currently going to waste while you were talking was the only way to accomplish that, so he relented. 

He didn’t want to move your things to the floor, but they were occupying the only chair in the room, so he made himself comfortable at the foot of your bed. He always wanted to be closer to you anyway. Setting his crutches next to him and opening the small cup of jello he’d somehow been holding this whole time, he reiterated his answer from before. 

“I told you already, I got shot in the knee, went into surgery, and now other than having to use these crutches for a while, I’m fine. Just need to spend a little longer in recovery before I can go back home to minimize the risk of infection.” He took a bite of jell-o just as a show of finality, like there was nothing more to say. Like a gunshot wound was not a huge deal. 

The whirr of the machine started to slow down, the medicine sputtering instead of coming out in a steady steam, meaning you could finally be done. You set it on the table by the bed, right next to your abandoned game of solitaire, and as soon as you set it down Spencer’s attention was back on your wellbeing. 

“Ok your turn, what happened?” 

“I’ve had asthma since I was a kid, and I just got unlucky today. It’s always worse this time of year, and my inhaler wasn’t really doing anything for me. Our health insurance plan doesn’t cover the more expensive meds unless I’m in the hospital, so here I am, for the next 36 hours.” You made a point to turn your exasperated expression into a cheesy smile, hoping to convince him to stay for just a little while longer.  “But the bright side is that since you're here I don’t have to play solitaire anymore. That was getting old fast.” You grabbed the cards, giving them a quick shuffle.

“So what do you say Vegas, are you up for a round of poker?” You hoped that would distract him from fussing over you, and luckily it did. He was satisfied you were ok, and the last thing he wanted was to push you too far, and for you to ask him to leave. So he let the smile take over his face. 

“Always. But i'm not going to go easy on you just because of your- what did you call them- broken lungs?” That got a good laugh out of you. Admittedly wheezy, but still one of the most beautiful sounds in the world to him. 

“Gross, broken lungs. And I wouldn’t dream of it.” You dealt the cards, already knowing you’d lose. You didn’t even know how to play poker. But word around the office was that most of your coworkers wouldn’t play with him since he always won. But you didn’t mind, you mostly just wanted someone to hang out with, and you were overjoyed that person was Spencer. He won, of course. Only gloating a little bit at how badly he beat you, and while you were dealing the second round of cards, you couldn’t help but vocalize what had been in the back of your mind for a few minutes now. 

“Hey Spencer, could I ask you a favor?” He had a mix of worry and willingness to help all over his face. 

“Anything.”

“Could you–not tell anyone in the office? Just. You know how they are, they would make a fuss about the whole hospital thing and it’s just not necessary.” 

“Where do they think you’re going to be for the next day and a half?”

You looked down like a kid who just got caught in a lie. “I kind of told Hotch I had a cold.” Spencer just sighed in response. 

“I really do think you should let them fuss over you. You deserve it, and you know Penelope lives for that sort of thing.” That you couldn’t deny, no matter how much you disagreed with him saying you deserved to be cared for. 

“Please, Spencer?” 

“Alright, but they might walk past your room in the morning. Garcia said she was coming, and you know she’ll drag at least one person along with her.” 

“Noted. I’ll close the door in the morning. Thank you Spencer, seriously, it means a lot.” You put your hand over his and it felt like every thought he’d ever had was gone from his brain at your touch. He couldn’t believe his dumb luck at meeting someone like you. Just to be in your orbit, to see and know you, felt like it could only be accomplished by divine intervention. Selfishly, he wished that you’d be staying a little longer, so that you could both leave together. Even more selfishly, he wished that you would leave with him, and come to his apartment. There he could take care of you, make you feel special until he could finally convince you that you deserved it. Deserved everything. 

You moved your hand to start tapping it on your leg, and while Spencer knew the side effects of respiratory steroids, he couldn’t help the nagging feeling that something was wrong. That maybe he did something wrong. 

“Is there something on your mind?” 

“No, it’s just the jitters. I used to get them so bad when I was a kid, my parents would have to practically hold me down. It’s like I have the energy to run a mile, but I can’t actually do it. I’ll calm down in a bit, but I’m probably going to get really rambly first.” 

“I’d love to listen to you talk, and I love being on the other side of a ramble.” It was just then that a nurse came in to ask if you were feeling better, charting your vials,  reminding you that you need to take your next dose in 4 hours, and telling you that an orderly would be in to set it up then.

Just when she was getting ready to leave she turned her attention to Spencer. “I’m sorry, but I am going to need you to go back to your room Dr. Reid. You both need to get some rest.”

He reluctantly told her that he would and just as soon as he’d come in, he disappeared again. He gave you a wave when he was gathering his crutches, but no real goodbye. You of course waved back, but you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. You really liked him, and you thought maybe he really liked you too. And yet, he only gave you a wave. 

All of the adrenaline moving through you, getting you all worked up finally won out, and stupid as it may sound, tears started to prick the corners of your eyes. Just as you closed the door to your room to get some privacy while you cried, your phone started to ring, and you couldn’t help but think; What now? You answered it without looking, and on the other side of the line was the person you wanted to hear from the most. 

“So what did you want to talk about? I have all the time in the world.”

[mingis-orangejuice]

Asking the L&Ds boys "What are we?" Part 1: Zayne

Summary: MC and her boy have been in a sort of situation-ship but MC wants to know why they haven't officially called her their girlfriend

a/n: This ended up being much longer than I thought so I'm making it into 4 parts (one for each boy) starting with Zayne. you can request who you want me to post next if you want

Genres/Warnings: angst, fluff, kinda slow burn

Word count: 635

Other parts: 2, 3, 4

You’re sitting in his office for your scheduled check-up. The bulk of the check-up was done and since you were his last patient that evening he asked you to wait for him to finish so he could drive you home. While he finished up some final notes on his computer you sat in the chair across from him mindlessly scrolling on social media while you waited. After a few minutes of silence, you hear a small knock on the door of the office.

“Come in” Zayne called as he looked up from his computer, you also turned around to see who it could be. A younger man in a lab coat similar to Zayne’s pokes his head in and starts talking

“Sorry to bother you Dr. Zayne… oh,” he stopped talking when he saw you sitting there looking up from your chair. “I didn’t realize your girlfriend was here, I’ll just ask you tomorrow, sorry again” Your heart skipped a beat at the word girlfriend.

The young doctor was about to leave when Zayne cut him off “It’s ok you’re already here now, you might as well just ask.

“Oh..uhh… ok” the young doctor awkwardly steps closer to Zaynes desk and hands him a few papers “Would you be able to sign these for me, since I’m shadowing you for my class I need you to sign them so I can get my class credit” 

“Oh he must be a student,” you thought

Zayne takes them from him and quickly looks through all of them, signs on the dotted line and promptly hands them back to the student. “You did very well these past few weeks, I was glad to have you as my apprentice. I hope to see you someday as a doctor here at Akso” Zayne’s voice sounded so sincere and sweet that even the student blushed a little.

“Thank you, sir, I’ll try my hardest” the student does a deep bow and quickly leaves the room

After he left Zayne went back to finishing up his work, but instead of going back to your doom scrolling you looked up at Zayne. “Why didn’t you correct him?”

Zayne looks up over his computer screen “Huh? correct him on what?” Zayne questioned

“Just now when that student called me your girlfriend, you didn’t correct him.” you scooted your chair closer to his desk and looked him in the eye trying to read his expression

“Why would I correct him? Was he wrong, are you not my girlfriend?” the feigned ignorance in his voice made you lose your words for a second. Once you regain your composure you stand up and look down at Zayne whose lips have now curled up into a slight smirk “no thats not… well you … uh... you’ve never called me that before” you sit back down and look away after that sudden burst of confidence.

Zayne chuckles lightly. “Naturally, I assumed you already were, since every night we have dinner together, I’m the one you call when you’ve had a rough day, we spend hours on the phone together talking about nothing and you stay at my house so often that you even have your own designated closet space and a toothbrush. ” 

You can still barely look at him “yeah but..”

“You’re right I should have corrected him,” he says with a mischievous grin

“What?!” you jump up from your seat worried that you accidentally messed up what you had with Zayne.

“Because at this point we’re basically married” he stands up, takes your hand and lightly kisses it. “But if you need to hear me say it I will” he looks up at your flustered expression, his smile gets even bigger and he looks you in the eye and says “Alright shall we get going, girlfriend?”

[kamii-2]

KK FIC WHERE HER SND READER GET A DOG AND THEY GET INTO A PLAYFUL ARGUMENT BC KK WANTED TO NAME THE DOG TRU FU

the dog looks a different color in one of the pics but let’s just act like it’s bc of the lighting (it probably actually is from the lighting 😭) also act like the dog is a boy bc i couldn’t find any pics that looked similar that the dog wasn’t a different gender in each pic. also idk how to do realistic comments so i gave up, i tried it on the app and it looked like booty and on here i dont know how to do it 🥸

warning(s): cussing

genre: fluff

pairing(s): kk arnold x reader

==================================

“kk we should get a dog.” you said randomly as you were on face book looking at pitbull puppies for sale. “oh my gosh, yes we should.” she gasped while looking over at your phone and seeing the adorable little puppies. she grabbed your phone and looked at the facebook post closely, looking at all of the little puppies, “this one is so cute!” she yelled while turning the phone to you, it was a grey boy with white on his chest and he had the cutest little blue eyes, “oh my gosh kk we need that one like now!” you gasped while getting excited. “i’m texting the lady right now and i’ll let you know what she says.” you told kk, she nodded in response.

since it was late at night, you guys went to bed a little bit after and when you woke up you checked your phone and seen that the lady had responded 15 minutes before you woke up. “kk wake up.” you nudged her, “what.” she replied with her face in the pillow, “the lady said we can come get the puppy at 2 and it’s 10:30 so we need to get up and get ready because it’s a 2 hour drive.” kk nodded and turned over on her back, getting up and headed to the bathroom while you went to the your closet to find some clothes to wear after your shower. at 11:50 you both got in the car, you set up the gps and you two were on your way to get your new baby.

-

when you reached the destination, you were in and out, she gave you the dog and you cashapped her the money. kk was so happy and asked you to drive so she could hold the puppy. “what are we gonna name him?” kk asked while hugging him. “i don’t know.” you said while shrugging and pulling into the nearest pet store. you two got out and went inside to get all of the necessary supplies. you bought him a small bed, small kennel you’ll use until he’s trained, puppy pads, toys, puppy food, and whatever else you needed. the ride home was full of kk squealing, the puppy snoring while he sleeps, and both of you laughing.

-

the second you posted your instagram post, kayla texted you asking to come over and see the new puppy, you obviously said yes and somehow you ended up with the entire team at your apartment. the puppy was loving all off attention he was getting, licking people and getting excited when someone pet him.

“so what’s his name?” caroline questioned while petting the small dog, playing with his paws as well. “uh.” you replied while look at kk, she was already looking at you. “tru fru-” “no.” you quickly cut her off. “why.” she whined, dragging the ‘y’ out. “he doesn’t have a name and his name will not be tru fru.” you said while trying to think of other names for him besides the ridiculous one kk chose. “you guys should name lloyd because it means grey in welsh.” morgan suggested, “wait that’s literally perfect because of lloyd the musician too.” you gasped while shaking kk, “who the fuck is lloyd?” she asked, “are you dumb?” your eyes brows furrowed while dropping your hands off her shoulders, “oh wait it’s the guy who made all those freaky songs.” kk said while gasping and suddenly agree to it.

-

after everyone went home you two went to bed and the puppy slept with you, right in the middle. the night was peaceful, sleeping in the bed with the puppy made you two feel complete, like he was your child.

==================================

sorry it’s kinda short but i wanted to get something out. i hope you guys enjoyed it and i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[i-cant-sing]

im WRITING NOTES AGAIN!!!

ok so i had to reread the ending of TTAU pt 9 cos i was confused on why y/n was crying! but im refreshed, that’s just so sad to me. it must’ve felt very dehumanizing with how the royals (specifically Miriham ) treats y/n and to have her niqab ripped off of her. and her broach stolen too, but idk if she cares for that. i’m mostly focusing on the niqab being her coverage and her way to feel closer to her religion. idk maybe im reading too into it.

AGH BALDWIN MENTION!! RAHHHH RAHHHH RAHHHHH

Ibrahim PRAYING to have y/n fall in love with him too. I FEEL SO ROMANTICAL!! that’s just too cute , it’s not forcing y/n to be with him but hoping she comes to love him aswell , RAHHH I LOVE IT

also i feel like with him wanting her…idk if he’ll actually help her get Out. maybe get out of the royal area , or something. but idk about…letting her leave him?! it makes me suspicious but then he prayed for her and now idk…his intentions just seem 🫨 to me. it’s shaking me around

mustafa bringing more broaches for y/n to wear, i wonder if he realizes that mihirmah is taking them without asking yet. or if he fr thinks y/n is still giving them away cos she doesn’t care.

im so stupid for not finishing that paragraph before writing something.

“there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.” is deadass the next sentence

“Baris asked as he looked through your closet.” i bet, he’s judging so hard. his ass is the type to throw something out cos he thinks it’s ugly.

another baldwin flashback 😭 STAWP , i’m trying to hate him in peace

"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa." SHE PLAYING BARIS LIKE MONOPOLY “present for Mustafa ☺️” LIAR !!!

"Have you stolen it?" RAHHHH I FEEL SOMETHING WEIRD IN MY TUMMY! DOES SHE KNOW ? DOES SULTANA KNOW SOMETHKNG SHE SHOULDNT ?

“Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" bruh nvm. i’m stupid for thinking she’s smart.

“Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.” that’s gotta be rough. like y/n has no one. literally no one. she’s just by herself until she can get home to her family, to her brother. i mean, y/n is clearly capable of surviving on her own, but it must be incredibly lonely and sad ! RAHHHH Y/N ! GOVE Y/N A BREAK!

“But... where did the portrait go?”

1. one of the boys has it hanging up cos “oh it looks so similar to the loml” 🤮

2. someone took it as black mail and is going to accuse y/n of witchery

3. it’s getting fixed up from where bladwin made out with it and they’ll find out it looks so similar to y/n and think y/n is related to royalty cos “why did a king 400 years ago have this portrait painted IF NOT IT BEING THE LOVE OF HIS CRAZY ASS LIFE ! AND Y/N IS A DESCENDANT AND CLEARLY NEEDS TO MARRY ONE OF THE BOYS THIS INSTANT! “

4. someone burnt it for y/n already

“ "I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse. “ y/n just makes herself seem like the weirdest person ever in both time periods cos she just wants to get OUTTA THERE! she does Not care if they think she’s crazy, she’ll say whatever to get where she needs to go.

“You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.” this horseback riding/chase scene is giving Anthony & Kate love story in Bridgerton. next thing we know Mustafa is gonna be going 🥴😵‍💫🤯 for how y/n smells. (this joke is gonna be lame if u haven’t seen bridgerton, i apologize)

“And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.” this shit corny as hell.

do it again

“…looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.” RAHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! thats so saaaaad,

“‘…Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?” *5 Seconds of Summer’s song Wrapped Around Your Finger starts playing *

“Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life?” oh damn. this dude fell in love with a time traveling scammer. get in liiiine buddy, GET IN LINE!!!

“Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan?” this whole paragraph just opened this character to me in such a naked way, it makes me FEEL REAL EMOTIONS! STOP IT! 🤮😭 also #daddyissues

“ "Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. “ hey, i’m just gonna jump off this cliff rq, ok? but fr tho? THIS IS TOO CUTE!! idk y/n’s plan with this is cos she doesn’t NEED to get him a gift, maybe it’s to get closer with him so he’ll have more leeway with her walking off without him? i’m under the delusion that she might be falling in love tho 🤷🏽‍♀️

“…or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.” her pupils dilated ? well, she’s definitely attracted to the man 😀 right ? RIGHT?

“ "crochet your anger away, Y/n." “ I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT Y/N’s FAMILY!! THEYRE TOO CUTE !!

“…you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.” awe damn, mother fucking bitch. I AM DELULU! I HATE IT! i should’ve known, y/n is a scammer girl 4 lyfe 😣

“ “I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." “ liar. he’s got it. i’m calling it rn. he’s got IT ! HES HIDING IT SOMEWHERE!!!!!! RAHHHH U LIAR!!! I DONT TRUST ANYONE NOW!!!!

“By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.” damn bruh. u quick asf with that, huh? u love y/n thaaat bad ? OOOOH u wanna kiss y/n soooo baaad! he’s a little simp! simp! simp! simp!

“Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect. “ oh damn that spiral was a little crazy. i like that. that’s my type of spiral.

“…he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait.” …i knew it 😩 I KNEW IT 😣 YOU CANT TRUST BITCHES ANYMORE ! WHAT HAPPENED TO HONEST GODLY MEN WHO DIDNT LIE 👹 AND CHEAT 👹 AND BE MEN 👹 ! RAHHHHH

“For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.” hey now. let’s all chill out and not look into that, ok! let’s just stare at the portrait that was made 400 years ago, and is missing the bottom half of its face cos of no reason what so ever. don’t ever try to make a artist try to replicate it. don’t do anything crazy.

“On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul),” instantly reminded me of that scene in Umbrella Academy w/ Five fighting all those agents in a doughnut parlor. (i keep referencing things and just hoping you know one of them 😎)

“…your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables.” RAHHH STOP I FEEL SO SAD ! THESE TWISTS OF EMOTIONS ARE TORTURE (i’m jk, i love being melodramatic)

“…but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.” HEADASS! this dude a simp.

“Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period. “ period 💅🏽

him still thinking of y/n saying she’s proud of him? HES SO INFATUATED WITH HERRRRR RAHHHHHHH

“…not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.”

1. mihirmah is mad

2. the other lover boy (Mehmed) is mad

3. the sultana (that ISNT mustafa’s mom) is mad cos her kids are mad

“…but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you” ok? bitch tf? SAVE MY GRANDFATHER FROM GETTING HARASSED AND PAY OFF HIS DEBT! then we can talk, tf? Y/n DOESNT OWE U ANYTHING BITCH

“ "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it." “ oh man, i just love when a women doesn’t let bitchass men walk over them. PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE GIRL ! YES BITCH!!

“…they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along." “ you saying only a lady’s baby daddy or real daddy can take them out of the house ? get the FAWK out of my face , THIS DUDE GOT ME MAD!

“Is he- did he just say you tempt men?” barf. this man is the definition of “i trust You, i just don’t trust men around u,” BITCH SHUT UUUUUUUUPPP

“…but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them.” this sounds like projection, mother fucker. get into some therapy. BARF

“This veil that you seem so proud of?…” why did this make me feel attacked? this made me even more upset for y/n, cos ??? y/n has every right to be proud of it even if “It only makes men to want to rip it off you more”, that isn’t Why y/n wears her veil. maybe i’m not using the right words or expressing my feelings right but it just made me really mad.

“but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." “ oh beautiful. she put it into words for me.

"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" the gasp that i just gusped!! HOW DARE YOU!!

“His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you.” i’m feeling VERY VIOLENT THOUGHTS!

“Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"” 😮.

“he found it necessary to reprimand you.” 🤢

“He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

“how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.” that was a deadass traumatizing scene between the two and all the palace bitches got from that was “ohhhh they’re in loooooove” SHUT UUUUUUUP

“You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!” oh this bitch is crazy. her thots spirals just like her sons, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“..it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face.” god damn. y/n never catches a break in this awful place. GET HER OUT ! GET HER OUT NOOOOW!!

“Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.” oh god damn. i just hate everyone atp.

“…then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me.” y/n is too smart for her own good. FUCK THEM BITCHES UP WITH INTELLIGENCE GIRL!! GET THEM WITH UR UPDATED SCHOOL TEACHINGS!!

“But if you were to help me escape-" “ i hope to god this bitch helps y/n leave PLEASE GOD PLEASE

“Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face.” oh damn, my girl isn’t wearing her niqab 😩

“…it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.” he’s cool for that, ig. i still hate him and want him to die and want him to fall on his face and break his nose and i want his dad to stop loving him.

“Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen.” THIS ANGST IS CRAAAAAZY! DUDE ITS CRAAAAAZY !! I GET WHY Y/N WONT SNITCH BUT PLEASE ! PLEASE ! LET SOMEONE BE SMART ENOUGH TO FOGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN ! (i’m asking for too much ik) WHERE THEY CAN IGNORE Y/N TRYING TO LIE ABOUT HOW SHE DOESNT KNOW! PLEASE

“No. No, she couldnt have.” YES SHE COULDVE U DUMB BOY! PLEASE ! PLEASE ! JUST FIGURE OUT UR MOM IS A DUMB BITCH ��� PLEASE

“ Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled” NAUR BITCH ! ITS MORE LIKE A 5 1/4th OF A SENSE ! UR SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR ! PLEASE ! SOMEONE PLEASE !

“ Her hands hiding under her sleeves.” OH THANK GOD ITS A FR 6th SENSE ! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!

“ "It’s okay, sultana. It was an accident." “ i did all this begging and for WHAT? whyyyy y/n ?! whyyyy do you have to care about the timeline and the fact that you’re literally controlling the future with what you doooo! whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

“ All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. “ so CLOSE! YOURE SO CLOSE! Hurrem’s son is just a fucking crazy misogynistic that deserves the PLAGUE ! idk what plague, of if there is a plague at this time , but i hope he gets something bad!

“He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne…” i like that he Just now got it! i like to think he truly likes y/n all on his own without the mission of the throne. it definitely helps his feelings, he gets the girl he likes and the throne. but he liked her fr, just for her.

“…had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.” is this dude ever Not mad ? gtfo

“He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly” i just realized this dude is a real yandere. like an actual yandere. i forgot that this is what it’s all about. i’m all like “hes dehumanizing y/n!” “hes misogynistic !” like bitch look at wtf ur reading. ofc he is. he’s a yANDERE ! i’m sorry, dear author! i forgot where i was for a second!

"If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" i still hate him.

“…because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.” as far as we know….as far as we know.

“…besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-“ BARF BARF BARF! i hate him

“Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.” PLEASE PLEASE GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN! PLEASEEEE

"I'm saving your ass. Duh." i don’t trust ur Baris. someone def paid him to do it.

"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you." oh he’s CRAZY CRAZY! those poor people! y/n is going to feel so guiltyyyyy NAUUUR ! nawt more trauma ! leave my girl aloooooone!

“Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men.” little does Baris know…theyre in a story written by someone who will definitely have that happen :)! i’m sorry y/n ! i’m sorry for what the author with put u thru!!

“He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe.” ibrahim! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU IBRAHIM!!

“So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.” Y/n ! LOVE IBRAHIM! PLEASE LOVE HIM! (i’m jk, but fr, i’m glad y/n is getting out)

“They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. “ baris, you devil man. i knew you were good this whole time…

“Maybe you just lucked out-“ i don’t want to scroll down. i don’t WANT TO MNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN! I JUST WANT TO TURN OFF MY PHONE AND DELETE TUMBLR AND LET THAH BE IT!!!

“You were struck by lightening.” god damn. just god damn. just- ohmygod! OHMYGOD! HO ! MA ! GAWD ! CAN SHE HAVE ANYTHING ? CAN SHE JUST GET A BREAK FOR A SECOND?’ CAN SHE JUST FEEL HOPE AND JOY FOR A SECOND?!

“ "I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him. “ NAUUUR! THE GRANDPARENTS!! THEYRE GONNA DIIIIIE ! PLEASE NO! PLEASE GAWD NOOOOOOO!!!

“She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.” the old couples daughter, nooooo! just nooooooo! at least they can meet with her when they die,,,hopefully from old age!!

"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" it’s not gonna be from old age, they are Not dying from old age.

“ "Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, “ IM ACTUALLY CRYING. LIKE FR ! this isn’t faiiiiir! i mean? i know they were gonna die and i kept joking but IT WAS TO COVER THE PAIN! PLEASE NOOOOOO

“Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. “ she died just like her daughter…kinda ? that’s so sad. i’m so upset!

"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win." god damn. just god damn.

“Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.” she’s as crazy as her damn brother. why tf did i think she was a lesbian and in love with y/n. i should’ve known 😣 i was pushing my gay agenda , the republicans r right 🫨 IM JUST FUCKING AROJND! i’m KIDDING

“ "I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.” SCREAMING! IM SCREAMING!!

“But that will be for another day-“ nauuur bitch. ur brother is gonna kill you! TURN AROUND BITCH ! TURN AROUND’ RAHHH NOOOO RAHHHHH

“People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.” i didn’t Not expect this. ho em gee

“You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.” y/n and fire! god damn. you’d think fire is a yandere for this poor girl. ohmygodddd

“The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.” THE. GASP. I. JUST. GUSPED. NAUUUUUR I LIKED HIM THE MOST! NAUUUUR NAUUUUR NAUUUUUR

“It’s on.” oh mygod. OH MYGDOD

“Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death. Right?” RIGHT ?! RIGHT?! god PLEASE SOMEONE! GET THAT DAMN SCREEN FIXED ! PLEASE !

i’m feeling so many emotions. everyone died. girl when u said “ no one gets hurt “ or something like that. i was like “oh some ONE will die” bitch i didn’t think EVERYONE! the old couple! mustafa ! fuck head! like god damn bruh. i wonder how badly this will fuck with the timeline in the future.

ibrahim is at war rn and waiting to get home to his soon to be wife! the sultanas have lost both of their eldest sons! hurrem has some leftovers, so i wonder who will be in charge next.

the old couple gets to see their daughter again, and i loved how they loved y/n. i wonder why the old lady was choking y/n tho? was it to kill her so she didn’t have to go with mehmed & mustafa?

mustafa dying really upset me too. he had a genuine connection with y/n i feel like (besides ibrahim ofc) and i really liked him. you fleshed out his character so well that it shocked me when he died! he must’ve been scared, surrounded by people who wanted him dead. his mom far away. the love of his life (y/n) meeting an uncertain fate in that random castle. his brother just dying infront of him. i thot he had his army with him too, so im surprised Mehmed’s men were surrounding him. it’s just sad!

BUT SO GOOD! i’m so excited to see how this goes! how far it goes! i’ve really enjoyed annotating while i read as well, i feel like im more immersed in the story! thank you for chapter 10! it was delicious 😩

11/10 review, amazing, showstopping fabulous <3333

and yes, the old couple was killing y/n to save her from being taken advantage of by the ottomans, as their daughter was. in a way, they had good intentions for y/n.

[thegaangneedstherapy]

Hiya!!!

Do you happen to know this fic?

Ozai kept Zuko imprisoned (I think underground/in a hole?), and eventually Zuko killed him and escaped. He became the Fire Lord, but was obviously not "normal" and everyone was kind of afraid of him. Ambassador Sokka is the one to befriend him and eventually they fall in love.

I cannot for the life of me find it again!

could it be ? Averno series OR Ambassador Sokka and His Very Bad (Turned Very Good) Idea

violence has changed me - Averno series Sokka's heard a lot about Fire Lord Zuko. / Zuko keeps staring at his hands in his lap. After a long time he says, “My cell was under the palace.” “Baby,” Sokka says. “Your cell is the palace.” Zuko leans forward, knees on his thighs, covering his face with his hands. “Yeah,” he says. “I know that.”

Ambassador Sokka and His Very Bad (Turned Very Good) Idea The war is officially over. With Fire Lord Ozai and his daughter dead, Fire Lord Zuko now takes the throne. He takes the throne, and sets to fixing the destruction left over from the war, starting with his own people and ending with everyone else's. That was how Sokka found himself, the next chief of the Southern Water Tribe, negotiating new treaties in the heart of the Fire Nation with the new Fire Lord. Who, if he must say, is really good looking for a guy who spent the last few years in the cells beneath the palace.

if not here is a few other fics with similar plot points.

1. There Is No Fire Lord After committing treason, Zuko spends months in prison, and even after both his father and Azula go missing, the guards can't coax him out of his cell. And then the Avatar shows up. How's the Gaang supposed to talk to a Fire Lord who doesn't even believe he's the Fire Lord? this one looks the second closet to what you described.

2. half in the shadows, half burned in flames “They say you tried to kill the Firelord,” Hakoda says. "Why?" Zuko doesn’t know how to answer. Because I hate him. Because I love him. Because he wants to see the world burn. Because he knotted one hand in my hair and cupped flames against my face with the other. Because my mother is dead. Because my uncle is dead. Instead, he shrugs tiredly and says: “Someone has to.”

3. Of Dead Fire and Dragon Dreams Ozai said he'd killed Iroh. So when he shot lightning at Zuko- the lightning came back. Azula's fire broke when she saw Ozai dead- Zuko promised to fix things. Everyone is confused about where the Fire Nation troopes are going. Zuko is Fire Lord. Everyone is kind of confused about that too.

4. The Spirit Stone Hidden in the deepest darkest corner of the Palace, the imprisoned Prince Zuko serves out his punishment and waits - and waits to be pardoned and released by his father. Not knowing that Fire Lord Ozai has already declared to the world that his son has died. Until a strange group of kids invade the Royal Palace, and accidentally rescue the formerly dead Prince Zuko...

Hopefully I found the one you were looking for! if it's not one of these tell me and I can find a few more. Thank you for using the question box!! I've been waiting for the day someone asks me a question

[34saveme34]

Snowtrapped 2 but it's emotional instead

I barely edited this thing but I must post it <3 I like it too much tbh

anyways light touches of suggestive, and references at snowtrapped obviously, although they don't outright talk about it, no cover this time we die like men

anyways word count: 4602

It started like any other day. With the usual arguments following them, as they perpetrated the intense part of their dynamic. 3 agitated 4, 4 agitated 3, hijinks ensued. It was how it always went these days. The 2 were fine with this… for the most part. The worst part of this was that both of them were sensitive but still liked to mess with each other. They had to walk a thin line for nothing bad to happen. And boy, was that hard. 

It was a snowy day, and 3, 4 and friends went to an especially snowy place as a vacation. They all deserved it. Although, the snow could bring out memories for the 2, it was a bit easier now to push it to the back of their heads. It was the past. It was a different time. They were different. They felt different. They’re friends at this point! Although 3 seemed to deny it a lot, 4 could see through that. Which is also why it was so tragic when he accidentally pushed 3 too hard and had to again see the man upset by his own actions. It always reminded him of the past. Something he had a complex relationship with, as it was something that affected him to this day, with all its differences, similarities and furthermore things that would just confuse him. Confuse him in so many ways. He wished he had answers. Maybe he wished a bit too hard. 

As their snowy hijinks, which they were doing with their friends brought them to an all too familiar situation: being snowed in. No escape. Only each other’s company. It was almost like faith that it was only those 2. Or maybe it was planned, who knows.

“Ugh…” 4 got up as he fell in pretty hard, he was on top of 3, more or less.

“Get off me, you bitch!” 3 quickly pushed him off, annoyed at 4. 

As they got up, looking at the door, both realized what happened. And that they were stuck together.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” both said at the same time which made the 2 glare at each other.

“This is all your fault!” 3 yelled at 4.

“Mine??! How would it be mine?? I wasn’t the one launching a whole damn avalanche!”

“Shut the fuck up” 3 sat down, grabbing at his face. It seemed he was trying to keep at least some sanity.

“No, you shut the fuck up!” 4 said, also sitting down, facing away from 3. 

Truly maturely they stayed like this for a while not uttering a word. But soon, the cold set in.

“Hey… 3…. m… my man” 4 sat beside 3, who looked at him cautiously.

“Yeeees?” he squinted at 4, not trusting him for a second.

“I’m cold”

“Well, shit, 4, I don’t control the weather!”

“No, I mean-”

“I’m definitely not desperate enough for that yet…”

“Yet?” 4 teased him, for which 3 hit him hard in the head.

“Stupid”

“In the meantime while you get over that, we could try and get out somehow. At least try.”

3 sighed as he got up.

“You’re unfortunately right…”

“Maybe we could even find a meme and use it to get out!”

“Yea, good thinking” 3 mumbled it a bit, although 4 could still understand.

“Don’t know why you need to be so defensive about me being right”

“YOU do the same thing as well”

4 was about to protest but realised that 3 was kind of right.

“Oookay…” 

They started really examining the place. Not much food, no meme in sight, a single blanket folded neatly in a closet.

4 took it for himself fast.

“Hey, you hogger!” 3 glared at 4.

“As I said before-”

“I’m not cuddling your stupid ass!”

4 looked down to his feet. He knew that it was just their thing but.

“I really thought we got further…”

“What did you say?” 3 looked at him with an expression that was hard to read.

This scared 4. He wasn’t sure what to do, repeating it felt like a hard task, so he just stared.

“You can’t just talk in half sentences, 4”

“I just… thought you’d be more comfortable with me at this point”

3 was about to protest but thinking about it, he really should’ve been less stupid about it.

“I can’t just- I’m tense, okay, I’m tense! Are you happy now that I told you??”

4 chuckled.

“You never really tell me. I just have to guess myself how you feel”

“Well, you aren’t the easiest case yourself- it- ugh, I don’t want to go into it, definitely not right now-”

“Into what?”

“It doesn’t matter, forget about it”

“3…”

“Don’t 3 me”

4 sat down with the blanket under him so it wouldn’t be as uncomfortable to sit. 3 paced around for a bit. Tried to use his hands as shovels to maybe get out then quickly gave up. This kept repeating. It was kind of tiring to watch. 4 was on the verge of commenting on it. But he could see that he shouldn’t: 3 looked close to snapping. He knew that look. It was upsetting.

Especially as 3 seemed to tire, having to keep up with the cold, now he was starting to feel it too. He leaned against the cold wall, trying not to let the cold get to him. 

4 was watching him. It was awful to watch. He could see 3 slowly slipping down against the wall. 

“Alright, that’s enough” 4 had enough of this as he wrapped his arms and blanket around 3, who didn’t have nearly as much fight in himself as before.

“Dude…”

“What?”

“...Thanks.” 3 lightly leaned closer into 4 arms. That was shocking to 4. He wasn’t sure how to feel.

Sure, he insisted on 3 joining him, but he… never really considered what he would do once he did. He never considered what would happen if 3 didn’t fight him. The comfort made him weird. He wanted to stay somewhere deep in his heart but decided to just slip right out of the blanket and just put it on 3.

“Oh..?” 3 looked at him, the weakness in his eyes showing. He looked painfully genuine.

“I’ll try myself this time”

3 glared then looked away from 4. It was hard to tell what he might be thinking.

4 tried to separate the snow. It was easy, the snow was soft yet cold, and the more he would shovel with his hands to the side, the more would fall in. He panicked, which made him feel agitated as he started to get faster with it. He got so fast the snow of the ceiling fell on him, leaving him colder than ever.

3 rolled his eyes.

“I always think you can’t be more stupid but you always manage to prove that wrong”

“Sh-Shut U-Up” 4 was practically shaking from the cold. Who knew he was so sensitive.

3 sighed and got up. He brushed the snow off of 4. Usually such casual touch wouldn’t be this bad for him but the isolation was getting to him. He cared so much. But, right now, especially right now, he didn’t want that to come out. He didn’t want his caring side out in the open, for 4 to witness and tease. 

to his surprise 4 only gave him a soft smile before adding a few words to his reaction.

“You didn’t need to do that, I can take care of myself”

3 was disappointed.

“I don’t want to be in the same space with a dead body”

“Hey now, you’re already thinking of me dying??”

“Well… It would be funny now that you say it” 3 grinned.

“I don’t find it funny”

“When did I say I care?”

“I see through you, my friend, I do”

“You’re as blind as a bat actually”

“I’m not, I got the 20/20 vision going for me!”

“Crazy if true, considering how much you’re on your pc”

“SAYS WHO”

“ME”

The 2 glared at each other. For quite a few painful seconds. The tenseness in them took over as they started to fight physically.

Although it was one of those little slap fights. It felt less like a fight and more like a comedy bit.

The 2 separated, although 4 found himself cold again. He stared at 3 without realising.

“What?” 3 asked, in a defensive manner as if 4 was about to strip him with his eyes. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. It just further reminded him of past events… But they were different now, it wouldn’t happen.

4 took a bit but he did manage to snap out of it.

“Huh? Nothing! Nothing at all”

“You’re cold, aren’t you?”

“Noooo, what gave you the impression?”

“You shivering”

4 facepalmed. 3 was right, he couldn’t believe how obvious he was.

“Come here, I did say I don’t want to be stuck with a dead body”

4 resisted first but the cold got to him, he had to. He didn’t like it but he had to.

“Jeez, I didn’t think you would be this cold”

“Why did you think I was shivering”

“... Fair point”

4 leaned into 3’s chest, trying to get closer in a less uncomfortable way. It was really hard though, considering how they were just a few moments ago. He was too tired and cold to care though. He even wrapped his arms around 3, having a secure hold on him. 4 didn’t like how comforting this felt. Something about cuddling 3 felt different. Suddenly  the memories hit him again, of the past. It made him feel a bit gross for his thoughts. He wouldn’t ever wanna think of 3 that way. Not again at least.

The 2 stayed silent for a while, it felt illegal to speak. Even though both of them still felt tense. 3 felt too weird in all this, he had to comment on it.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you enjoyed this”

“What?? You think I do?” 4 looked offended.

“You were cuddling me with the same glee Eggdog would and oooh he loves me a lot” he talked with with his baby voice at the end when mentioning his child. Just simply the thought of him made him feel happy.

4 rolled his eyes.

“I’m just trying to stay warm, really. If I liked cuddling you, I’d do it  outside of dire situations like this”

“Like I’d care if you would… stupid”

“Would you?”

“No!”

“Oooh, but it looks like you would” he found 3’s reaction just a little bit entertaining. Indulging a little shouldn’t hurt much!

“Shut up! I wouldn’t! Even the hand holding feel unnecessary”

“Well, we had to do that, to save the world and all that stuff”

“Okay? Doesn’t change a thing. I don’t like to do it”

4 stared at 3, unimpressed. 3 felt a bit nervous.

“You’re as annoying as ever” 4 said as he got up “You know what, I rather freeze”

3 felt that struck at his heart. That HURT to hear, christ. 

“The fuck you mean you’d rather freeze??”

“If you don’t want to be near me so badly, then I won’t bother you. I can try and bury myself in the snow so you don’t have to face me dead cold”

“Jeez, how kind of you to- HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? You THINK I WANT THAT??!”

“FELT LIKE IT”

“YOU DUMB IDIOT”

“DUMB AND IDIOT MEANS THE SAME THING”

“YES, I’M POINTING OUT YOUR SPECIALLY LACK OF SMARTS”

“FUCK YOU”

Aaaand they fought again. This time a bit more violent as 3 pinned 4 down.

“Any last words?” 3 was tired so he didn’t sound as threatening as he would’ve wanted to.

“You’re gay” 4 teased as he pulled 3 down on him with the little strength he had left. Unfortunately, this way they were left to stare at each other, it was kind of hard to pay attention to anything else when they were this close. 3 didn’t look amused. 4 chuckled.

“Gotcha”

“And you said you don’t want me near”

“I would push you off if I had the energy to”

“Nice excuse”

“It’s a reason, not an excuse”

3 sighed as he fully laid his head down on 4’s chest. He was now truly too tired to care.

“Why can’t we just get along”

“Cuz you’re a piece of shit”

3 looked at 4 again, clearly unamused.

“Like yourself, of course”

4 found it interesting how 3 deflected by calling him an ass too.

“Maybe, yeah… I don’t know why really”

“We’re just like this? I guess, I don’t know. We should be, right?”

“It’s… what’s the best, right?”

3 thought for a bit, some hard words on his mind.

“We’re… friends”

“I… I know”

Air felt heavy, as the 2 were trying to comprehend each other, what were they going for.

“You know…” 3 started, already feeling his face heat up “Ever since we became friends, it’s been… a bit less fun to be a villain. Juuust a smidge”

4 found himself smiling, hearing that his heart just warmed up whole.

“Glad to hear that…”

“It’s something I struggle with it a lot though”

“Why so?”

“Who… am I if not your local villain… who would I be?”

The question caught 4 so off guard, staring shocked at 3. He never thought 3 could feel that way. He kind of felt bad for a lot of the things he’s said and done now. He gently grabbed 3’s face by his cheek, by which he noticed 3 being a bit more hot. He was sure it’s just them slowly feeling weird from the cold.

“Hey now, don’t say that… you’re so much more… a cool streamer, a great meme guardian partner… a great friend, maybe… my greatest”

3 was practically turning into a heater from the compliments. But it definitely didn’t mean anything. 3 collected all his courage, to ask one thing he wanted to know.

“Your greatest?”

“Yea… pretty much”

“Isn’t it Mario for you?”

“You’re… different”

“Different?”

“Well, you know- yeah, you’re a friend in a different way than he is to me. You’re just… different… I guess, we just work differently”

“You mean the meme guardian stuff?”

4 glanced to the side, it was hard to guess what he could mean by that.

“That too”

“You know… I do kind of find it weird… that we have to hold hands to use our powers.. or at least touch”

“Yeah… but I don’t think you would be this close to me without it”

“Let’s not even think about that”

3 looked kind of bummed about the idea.

“Awww, you’d miss being friends with me that much?”

3 growled, though too tired to act.

“You say that like you wouldn’t”

“Of course, I would miss it so much” 4 said, hugging 3. The air being not so tense felt nice. It was easier to express himself.

3 was in deep, Jesus. He could barely think, besides lightly hugging back. 

“You could’ve warned me at least”

“Nope, it’s more fun this way”

“But you said you care about me”

“There’s some privileges you’ll never get”

“Tch… stupid”

“Ahem… Tsundere”

3 stared at 4, a single word making him feel energy come back to him. Out of anger of course. God, that made him so so angry.

“Not that word again, no, shut the fuck up. No one wants to hear that, idiot”

“I wanted to hear it personally” 4 chuckled.

“For what? You’re implying you’re my crush or something? You’re wrong then, bitch” 3 got up, angrily pointing and gesticulating. Oh, that touched a nerve, didn’t it.

4 raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say that… Only you did, just now” 

3’s face was painted with realisation, as then colour drained from his face. Oh no, he did not fucking do that!!

“The word is literally used that way. How am I supposed to take it then? Why did you call me that anyways, asshole” 3 turned away from 4.

“I just found it fits… even in a platonic way. It’s so obvious you want affection but you still push people away”

3 looked back at 4 then away.

“Just like that” 4 sighed.

“You… YOU” 3 turned back “ You ALWAYS think you’re the bigger and better person”

“Well, I am right now? I’m not the one misinterpreting shit”

“You just have this air around you, you know? Like you always think you’re the god of this show! That nobody is better than you, especially me, I’m really tired of that. Really fucking tired”

“Are you really getting mad about me calling you a tsundere??”

“IT’S MORE THAN THAT”

“HOW CAN IT BE MORE???”

“IT’S A PATTERN… a long going one” 3 stared daggers into 4. It was like a whiplash compared to what they had previously.

“What pattern???”

“Stuff’s always about you. You’re always trying to one up me as well. It feels like whenever you butt into something, it becomes about you.”

4 stared. He didn’t know what to do with that information.

“You’re so weird. First you say you wished we were friends earlier, now you berate me”

“Because you can’t shut the fuck up when you need to. Maybe if you did, we would get along better”

“Well, MAYBE, if you stopped being an ASSHOLE, that would help a lot more”

“MAYBE. IF YOU STOPPED BEING SUCH A WHINY BITCH IT’D HELP EVEN MORE”

The 2 stared at each other, unsure whether to feel angry or sad. 

“You know where it hurts, huh? You know me so well you know EXACTLY what to say to make me angry” 4 spoke, anger seething through him.

“Not hard when you get upset about everything!!”

“You make me more than upset”

“Oh yeah? What do I make you, huh? Tell me”

4 looked down.

“Confused. And sad. You make me sad”

3 stared at him.

“That’s it? Really?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Well, now I god damn do, not like I care about your thoughts”

4 had enough, as he got up and pushed 3 against the wall. It was cold, just as cold as 4’s stare.

“Do you REALLY want to know, 3?”

3 tried to look anywhere but 4. 4 grabbed 3’s chin.

“I… I guess… I can’t really back down now, can I?” 3 was visibly nervous. 

“You make me so… bad. I feel bad, each time. I don’t know why”

3 still tried looking away from 4. This was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“So… you don’t even know how I make you feel, huh?”

“Well, how do I make YOU feel then? Huh?”

“Tense, very tense. Especially right now, with backing me into a wall and everything”

“Ah-” 4 stepped back, giving 3 his space back. He felt a bit embarrassed about what he did. He realised what that looked like now- he was glad it was only 3 to see him do something like this. Since considering how they were, this was definitely not getting out from between the 2 of them.

As they stood there, they felt cold again. 3 thought for a bit then grabbed the blanket and threw it over 4’s shoulder as he then leaned into him, shoulder to shoulder. It wasn’t too much to handle at least. 4 stayed silent but he didn’t move either. His head seemed to be full of thoughts. 

“Hey… I’m sorry, 3… I gotta learn how to control myself around you”

3 looked at him, with a questioning look.

“I mean yeah but… what the hell do you mean? Around me”

“You just bring the worst out of me”

“Well… I can’t argue with that”

“I think… I do the same to you…”

“Hmm…”

Both stayed silent for a while, then 4 spoke words that had no right to hurt so much.

“It feels like we’d be better apart…”

3 didn’t even know how to react. He just… stood there. 4 couldn’t look at him for a bit, feeling his own words even claw at his own heart. But when he did… oh, he wished he didn’t.

He didn’t want to see 3 so sad, tears running down his cheek. His lips trembled looking back at 4 before punching him in the face.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT??” 

4 stumbled but didn’t fall. He was never able to say the right words.

“I… well” he felt himself getting drawn to tears as well “We… fight so much…”

“I care too much about you”

“I know but… look, it feels like we never get along… I care too and the idea hurts me too…” his tears came too, matching 3.

I just- I can’t do this-” 3 started pacing and suddenly decided to get back to the snow again, desperately wanting to get out.

4 felt guilty. He felt awful. He thought this would give him some peace of mind but it didn’t. He thought, he thought very hard- how could he solve this? How could he make this right for 3?

“How could I… make this right for you?” 4 asked, his voice weak.

“By shutting the fuck up” 3 continued shovelling the snow with desperation. 3’s hands felt cold. Way too cold. But at least it was almost distracting him from 4’s stinging words. 

4 hated looking at what 3 was doing. He turned away, trying to close him out but the quiet sobs and the soft noises of the snow being shovelled by hand was too prominent in his mind. He wasn’t able to close it out, not even a little bit. He clenched his fists. He must do something. Anything. Just stop this.

3’s hands were starting to hurt so much he could barely take it. But it didn’t make him want to stop. What stopped him was 4 grabbing both of his hands and pulling him away from the snow. And 4 wasn’t easy on him, having strong grips on both his hands. As 4 felt just how cold 3’s hands were, he held on even more, pulling 3 close.

“I can’t… I can’t just watch you hurt yourself.. you mean too much to me”

“I thought you wanted us apart”

“Want and need are different”

3 looked ahead of himself, embracing he was now trapped in 4’s hold, as much as he didn’t want to be.

“Are you saying you need me?”

“Yes”

4 replied so fast, it made 3 feel a bit hot again. 

“So… you need me, even if I… cause you to be worse?”

“I need you because I…” 4 stopped. 3 paid attention for a bit, waiting for an answer. The more seconds passed the more tense he felt.

“Don’t leave me hanging, dude!” 3 spoke nervously, he hated feeling this uncomfortable.

4 just didn’t move, not until he whipped 3 into a deep embrace, pulling as close as he could. It was the kind of hug you couldn’t escape from, no matter how much you wanted to. It was tight, scary, full of emotion yet somehow fulfilling. 3 slowly hugged him back. It still wasn’t quite as comfortable as he wished it should be, but the tightness definitely helped. He wished it would be just that easy to press the bad things out of him.

This lasted a while, neither wanted to speak. Neither knew what to say. But they both had a lot on their minds. But they chose to remain this way. At least for a while, some peace.

4 slowly pulled out a bit, looking at 3. 3 only noticed a bit after, his face still red from crying and the cold. The 2 just stared at each other. Felt like no one else existed to them but each other. It felt so obvious. It felt so obvious what they wanted, it was written all over them. Just a single thing on their mind, a simple yet disastrous wish. Something so easy yet so hard.

3’s grip tightened on 4 as he pulled him in, it happened so fast, yet 4 followed along immediately. The desperation finally kicked in. They needed each other so so badly and it showed. And when they’d pull away, they’d just pull right back in. Their lips touching were too addictive. It was a rush of excitement neither have felt in a while. 3 was the one to end up against the wall, then quickly switching to 4. 3 had a strong hold on 4 that made him feel weak. He didn’t know that feeling weak by someone could feel so good. It felt like it should be a crime.

They slowly let go, although they didn’t want to. Especially since they then had to face each other. It felt… weird. Where did this come from? Why were they both so into it?

“So… that happened” 4 awkwardly scratched his neck.

3 facepalmed.

“Is that all you’re gonna say?”

“Umm well… I guess I always liked you, heh,... uh… yeah”

3 couldn’t keep a straight face, he laughed. He found 4 ridiculous, yet somehow cute.

“I love you too, idiot” 3 replied finally, after leaving 4 hanging with just laughing.

4 looked down then back at 3. He was visibly getting so giddy it was a joy to watch. 3 pressed a kiss on 4’s cheek. 4 could explode the world with the happiness he was feeling. This whole thing really made him realise what he was feeling, as it was previously an unknown thing to him. He didn’t realise, even though he felt it badly. He’s a fucking idiot.

3 knew very well but it wasn’t exactly something he liked to think about. It was already hard to make friends, let alone admit his feelings for his ex rival. 

“I’m… glad you do, 3”

“Do you know how hard it was to keep this away from you??”

“Uh.. no? I think you hid it well”

“That was the intention”

“Yeah… you know, I only realised just now”

3 blinked at 4.

“You.. You can’t be serious”

“Why can I not be?”

“Whatever… I’m just glad you feel the same”

“Yeah… we’re still trapped though”

“No shit” 3 sighed.

The 2 rested against each other. At least now they had less reason to be tense about that. 

“I mean… the others know we got stuck, right? They should be able to help then…”

“I sure do hope so”

The 2 thought though, anything they can come up with. 3 had an idea float in his mind, now feeling like it’s less embarrassing to suggest.

“Hey so, 4… you know how we channel meme energy with touch?”

“Yeah?”

“What if… it’s possible to channel it with kissing as well?”

4 rubbed his chin then with seemingly zero hesitation, he pulled 3 in for a kiss, and concentrated. Maybe a bit too hard at that, or maybe it was just such a powerful move that the energy practically blew up around them. Their prison was gone. Literally, they blew the whole thing up with their meme energy kiss.

“Woah” 3 chimed up quietly, trying not to look too impressed but… meme explosion?? 2 of the greatest things together??

“Yippee we’re free we’re free!!” 4 hugged 3 and jumped up and down.

That’s when the crew noticed the 2, with 4 jumping around crazy. That’s just how it is with them sometimes. At least they chilled out now! It’s been needed for a long while now.

[blacksorrow-untiltheend]

Drops MILGRAM Au

001: Kamishiro Rui (WXS)

002: Momoi Airi (MMJ)

003: Shinonome Akito (VBS)

004: Shinonome Ena (N25)

005: Aoyagi Touya (VBS)

006: Hinomori Shizuku (MMJ)

007: Akiyama Mizuki (N25)

008: Otori Emu (WXS)

009: Tenma Tsukasa (WXS)

010: Hinomori Shiho (L/N)

Warden: Hoshino Ichika (L/N)

Jackalope: Hatsune Miku (VS)

I planned out Tsukasa first, because he’s my favorite…

009: Tenma Tsukasa

Obviously my favorite character is gonna have the most ideas.

there are so many things i could do with his character, like,, i could give him DID like Mikoto, or he could be similar to his character in PJSK

“(cheerful) ..My name is Tenma Tsukasa! (saddened) Formerly, a Future star.. I’m 18, a third year at Kamiyama High School.”

This would be his introduction, or something like that.

He would, like Mikoto, have DID.. and he would, like Mikoto, not quite understand why he was there. He wouldn’t be violent for awhile, and he’d try to be kind. The friendships he’d make would 003, 001, 005, and 008. After trial 2, it depends if he gets guilty or innocent.

Guilty → changes to violent, closeted(?), untalkative. Still talks to 003, 001, 005, and 008, but never to others. Usually, him talking leads to fights.

Innocent → cheerful, happy, talkative, sympathetic. Attempts to befriend those voted guilty, and attempts to comfort them. Gets violent when the attacker of the guilty is near to them.

And then I wrote a script!

action: ichika walks in. clattering of boots, it catches Tsukasa’s attention.]

Ichika: “Prisoner Nine, state your name and age.”

Tsukasa: “Tenma Tsukasa! 18 years old, third year at Kamiyama High School.”

Ichika: “I am prison warden Hoshino Ichika.”

[Action: extend arm, hand out to shake hands.]

[Action: Tsukasa shakes Ichika hand. Energetic, but not too energetic.]

Tsukasa: “Pleasure to meet you, Warden-kun.”

Ichika: “I believe we’ve met before, Tenma-san.”

Tsukasa: “..eh? What do you mean, “we’ve met?””

Ichika: “Don’t you remember Saki-chan’s childhood friends?”

[action: Tsukasa stands there for a second, seemingly thinking.]

[action: Tsukasa has a surprised face.]

Tsukasa: “ahh, Ichika-chan! I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. You look different, per say..”

Ichika: “Well, i’m glad you haven’t forgotten me. But don't get formal, Tenma-san.”

Tsukasa: “of course. I’ll stick to Warden-kun, then..”

Ichika: “it doesn’t matter.”

Tsukasa: “okay.. You can call me whatever you’d like.”

Ichika: “of course. Now, we shall began the interrogation. We’ve wasted too much time.”

Tsukasa: “yes, of course.”

Ichika: “silence.”

[action: Tsukasa darts his eyes to the side and nods.]

Ichika: “Sekaigram exists for one purpose; Everyone in here are murderers, and it’s our, Sekaigram’s, duty to come to the judgement if your sin is forgiven.”

Ichika: “Tenma-san, do you remember anything that happened before or during the event of the murder you committed?”

Tsukasa: “..no. This feels like a mistake, i shouldn’t be in prison. You know that, right, Ichika-chan? I haven’t committed any sort of murde—”

Ichika: “Silence! I will not be biased, and you are to call me the Warden. Understood?”

Tsukasa: “yes, ma’am.. “

Ichika: “Tenma-san, what have you been doing as of late? Perhaps, do you have a job? Something you do for fun?”

[action: Tsukasa opens his mouth to speak. He hesitates.]

Tsukasa: “I work at.. Phoenix Wonderland.”

[action: Ichika confused at hesitation.]

Ichika: “do you work with anyone? Perhaps someone I might know?”

Tsukasa: “…Kamishiro-kun and Emu-chan.”

Ichika: “Ehh? Prisoner one and prisoner eight?”

Ichika: “But… did anything ever happen between you guys? It seems like your bonds aren’t very… strong.”

Tsukasa: “Emu-chan was acting weird, and then she got arrested for some reason. I don’t remember why, but she had been a little.. off. As for Kamishiro-kun…”

[action: Tsukasa has a fearful, maybe worried(?) expression.]

Ichika: “Tenma-san? Is something wrong?”

Tsukasa: “....Kamishiro-kun is my best friend. He trusts me. I trust him.”

Ichika: “what are you hiding from me?”

Tsukasa: “Nothing, warden-kun.”

[action: Tsukasa smiles. He is sitting with his hands in his lap.]

[action: ichika seems aggravated, or rather, upset.]

Ichika: “Tenma-san! Speak now! Is Kamishiro-san threatening you?!”

Tsukasa: “ehh? No.. nothing of the sort. Warden-kun, are you okay?”

Ichika: “Shut up! I’m fine, i’m asking you whats wrong! Answer me, Tenma-san! What is it that Kamishiro-kun did?!”

[action: Ichika’s boot clatter on the floor as she walks closer to Tsukasa. Her hands are in fists.]

Tsukasa: “He didn’t do anything. Kamishiro-kun is innocent.”

[action: Ichika looks dumbfounded. She has a blank expression.]

[action: ichika laughs slightly and quietly.]

Ichika: “hhaha… hahahaha… AHAHAHAHA! Tenma-san, do you coin me as a FOOL?!”

[action: ichika kicks down a chair, turning around with her hand in fists.]

Ichika: “I’ll give you one chance. What did Kamishiro-kun do?”

Tsukasa: “...I saw him.”

Ichika: “eh?”

Tsukasa: “I saw him, watched him, commit his murder.”

Ichika: “...!!”

Tsukasa: “It was on accident. He didn’t mean to. It’s not his fault, it’s not.”

Ichika: “..that’s for me to decide!!”

Tsukasa: “I request you give him the verdict of innocent, please.”

Ichika: “ghh.. And what about you?! Do you want a guilty verdict?! You, Tenma-san, are a murderer! As well as Kamishiro-kun, Otori-kun, Hinomori-san, and everyone else!”

Tsukasa: “i’m not a murderer! Warden-kun, i’ve told you so many times!”

Ichika: “ you are a murderer! There is no doubt about it, do you understand?!”

Tsukasa: “no.. no… im not.. I’m not.. I’m not, i’m not, i’m not, i’m not… I’M NOT! I’M NOT A MURDERER! I’M INNOCENT! SHUT UP!”

Ichika: “.....!!!”

Tsukasa: “dang it.. So aggravating… aahaaha.. Stop it… shut up..”

Tsukasa: “you think you’re so great because you’re the prison warden?!”

Tsukasa: “you think you can boss people around!?”

Tsukasa: “hahaha… stupid.. Stupid.. Stupid..”

[action: Tsukasa kicks Ichika, she falls.]

Ichika: “--gah..!!”

Ichika: “..what? But– you– thats.. Impossible..”

Tsukasa: “hahaa.. Impossible, you say? ahahaa… impossible… impossible…”

[action: Tsukasa punches ichika.]

Tsukasa: “You’re sooo high and mighty, you can’t get hurt! Ahahaaahahaa… that’s what you thought, isn’t it?”

[action: Tsukasa punches ichika again, and again, and again. Ichika is wincing in pain, eyes slightly teary.]

[action: Shiho hits Tsukasa in the back of the head after swinging her bat.]

[action: Tsukasa gasps and falls, passing out.]

Ichika: “--!! Ggh..”

Shiho: “..ichika, can you get up?”

[action: Shiho reaches her hand out. Ichika uses it to stand up, using Shiho as support.]

Shiho: “It seems like Tenma-san can loose his temper very easily.”

Shiho: “but it seems like you can too, Ichika.”

[action: Ichika looks to the side and frowns.]

Shiho: “we’ll talk later. For now, get Tsukasa-kun to wake up. I assume he won’t remember anything.”

Ichika: “..mhm.”

[action: Ichika nods. Body language indicates tiredness.]

[antebunny]

So there's a subgenre of fics in the Harry Potter fandom wherein a person conceived while one of their parents is under the influence of a love potion will become aroace at birth. The origin, afaik, are two insidiously awful decisions of JKR combining: 1) she reinvented date rape drugs/roofies aka love potions, without realizing it I guess, and 2) she said that Voldemort was asexual, because she's never seen a marginalized identity she didn't spit on.

Since Merope Gaunt (Voldemort's mother) used a love potion on Tom Riddle Sr. (Voldemort's dad) I guess people got the idea that what if love potions caused asexuality? And asexuality + aromanticism, of course, meant evil. Here's an excerpt from one of those fics in which Bill Weasley explains being aro/ace to Hermione:

[Image ID]

"No. I just dated because that was what you did. I never really felt anything for them. A few kisses, plenty of hand-holding. I made out in a few broom closets, and had one very uncomfortable make-out session up the top of the Astronomy Tower that I eventually ended by pretending I heard Filch coming past on a patrol. I even tried making out with a guy once in case that was it–nothing. I never told mum about that, of course. Good wizards don't shame their families like that."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay, you know."

He shrugged. "It doesn't apply to me anyway. I'm not gay. I wasn't anything, and I was trying to accept that and be content with it. It was good enough. Until I met Fleur." His eyes lit up with joy as he spoke about her.

[Second Image ID]

"Look, the point is with her allure from being part-Veela, I love her. Like I can never love anyone else. I don't want to lose that. You don't understand what it's like to go through life feeling nothing for anyone else. I've dated people I said I cared for, but I wouldn't have died for them. Well, out of logical choice I might risk my life, but not from love. But I would die for Fleur. Do you understand? She makes me a better person. I would do anything to make her happy. I'm not alone in the world anymore."

She nodded slowly. "I see." It wasn't so much him manipulating Fleur, as him permitting her to manipulate him. Into feeling. "I didn't realise it could be that bad." She still thought he should confess, but it didn't sound like he was hurting Fleur–he really did love her.

[End Image ID]

I read this fic years ago, and at the time I genuinely had not thought about my sexuality at all. I would've never called myself aro or ace. Still, reading this felt like being repeatedly punched in the face. I kept on waiting for Hermione to say something similar to what she said after Bill made a homophobic comment. After all, she went out of her way the first time, didn't she. Instead, what I got was essentially:

Bill: I don't usually feel romantic or sexual attraction. So there's something wrong with me.

Hermione: Yeah lmao. But there's nothing wrong with being gay!

I've been (reading) on Ao3 since 2016, and in all that time I've seen plenty of subtle racism, sexism, etc. But I've never seen anything as plainly stated as this. To this day I have yet to hear any aro/ace people describe the experience of being aro/ace in any of the following ways: "How could I forgive myself if we brought a child into the world to suffer the emptiness I lived with my whole existence[?]" /"You should be unable to love." / "You don't understand what it's like to go through life feeling nothing for anyone else."

I could not understand why Bill described it as "emptiness" or "feeling nothing." I still cannot find a single aro/ace person who would describe themselves as empty. The most I have ever heard is: "I wish I was normal" (meaning I wish I fit in, I wish to be accepted by other people). Historically, many aro/ace people married and had kids, conforming to societal norms, and I am sure many believed there was something wrong with them or hoped to grow out of it. I was one of them. On a very personal note, I suspect that my father is too. I am certain that he's never heard the terms asexual or aromantic in his life. But if you think I'll ever discuss his sexuality with him, you're out of your damn mind.

Now, I know it's really easy to find this fic from these quotes. I chose to include them anyways because I think it's important to show how blatant it was. My Tumblr blog isn't exactly a platform, but for the five people reading this: please, please do not go after the author. I truly believe that they had no ill-intent. In the comments of this fic, a few people bring up variations of "it sounds like Bill is just aro/ace" and the author is consistently understanding. Here are some of the author's comment on that fic:

[Image ID]

I very much understand what you're saying. It's a tricky thing for me to address, however. For the core idea I'm playing with is basically the evilness of "love potions". And part of that is exploring JKR's idea that Voldemort, being unable to love due to his mother using a love potion on his father, was a *monster* because of that. Perhaps that doesn't come across very clearly (there's a little bit more of it in the prequel), that it's one of the assumptions I'm trying to undermine. ("Love potions are funny/romantic", "Voldemort is a monster because he could not love", "Harry's power was that he could love - he's not a monster like Voldemort", "There's nothing wrong with selling love potions to teens/adults because it's not 'real' love".)

I feel like I'm already poking at the inherent problem of framing "people who cannot love" as "monsters/psychopaths" by showing Bill and Harry's struggles with self acceptance, and Bill finding a way to love (though do note he'd been making peace with the idea he wasn't attracted to anyone, prior to meeting Fleur). I really don't like the canonical take on love-redeems/love-is-the-best-power/the-loveless-are-monsters, so I'm messing with it a bit. Exploring other people than Voldemort, ones we admire, who are also dealing with being unable to love. Does that make sense? Now, that doesn't mean I'm doing a perfect job at it, but I'm trying my best to explore that theme around the edges of my Dramione story.

[End Image ID]

The author's intention was to show how other characters, made aro/ace via love potion like Voldemort, were not evil or sociopaths. I don't know why all the characters were so aro/acephobic, but sometimes fics get away from you and you don't address everything you wanted to. I don't know why the aro/ace characters had so much internalized shame and hatred when the term bachelor has been in use for centuries, but we fanfic authors love writing self-esteem issues and I would be a hypocrite to say otherwise. I don't know why the author never tagged acephobia or internalized acephobia, but no one HAS to tag anything.

I don't know if the author ended up writing that fic where Harry comes to accept his aro/asexuality. It's totally understable if they didn't; I have failed to write many fics that I really did want to write. Sometimes it's just like that. I really, truly believe that the author had the best of intentions and is not aro/acephobic, just severely misled on what that experience is like.

My beef is not with this author. I used their words to highlight a reoccurring and popular sentiment that I hate. My real beef is that this fic is popular. This is an entire subgenre of Harry Potter fics. I actually decided to write this post because some random person on the internet said, a few days ago, something along the lines of: "Remember when JKR invented a date rape drug that turned people into sociopaths? Yeah…" (And also because I was up until 3 am last night writing a dumb trash angst one-shot about it).

I'd wager that the vast, vast majority of people who write or read those fics don't feel the same way. But the condescension is baked into the very premise of that trope. "Oh poor you, it must be so hard, so lonely going through life without ever loving another person. You must feel so empty inside."

It's actually people who say similar things that make me feel isolated. Most of the time I feel free, like I've cracked this secret code, like I'm able to see things clearly that people so hung up over sex and romance can't. Other times I feel so left out I wish I was "normal." Mostly, being aro/ace is lonely, annoying, exhausting, and liberating.

It wasn't until last year that a friend told me that some people actually do have trouble speaking to someone they've never met before, just because they find that someone attractive. I thought that only happened in stories. But I don't want to get nervous meeting new people based on their looks, I don't want to treat people differently based on how much I want to have sex with them. I wish my friends in high school had never pressured me to come out as bisexual. I wish all the other similarly liberal, queer communities I've found since didn't insist on associating sex and dating with emotional comfort. I wish I could magically stop my parents from expecting me to ever get married and have kids.

But I can't.

Anyways, that's it for today. I'm not sure what the point of writing this was. I really don't want anyone to get hurt or attacked because of it. This is not a callout, or a hate brigade, or any sort of call-to-action. I don't want people to get up-in-arms about this. I'm just tired. I suppose I just wanted to put my feelings out there, and well, this is my Tumblr.

[chronicbeans]

hihi !! i loved ur wally x reader of the maladaptive daydreaming and autism! :p

i don’t know if you have requests on, i did check your bio and also pinned post but anyway! if you aren’t doing requests you can just ignore this :D

human!wally x human!reader who HAS to sleep with a plushie/teddy else they’d have nightmares/sleep paralysis? sorry if it’s too much to ask or i haven’t put enough detail !! <33

Oh no I am still taking requests! They are just coming out very, veeerrrryyy slowly. Lol my brain is becoming a mixture of like... 2-3 fandoms, so everything is slower. Sorry!

Human Wally and a Human Reader who needs Plushies to Sleep:

TW: Insomnia, Sleep Paralysis

🧸 You were embarrassed to say that you need a plush or teddy to sleep. He will grow silent for a moment, causing you to grow even more embarrassed. Then, he will raise a finger to tell you to stay still, before turning around and opening up his closet. Next thing you know, you are buried in apple plushies as the tumble out of his closet.

🧸 Turns out, he is in a similar situation! He just can't fall asleep in general. Stupid insomnia. So, he has a bunch of apple plushies he hoards onto his bed, which is a part of why he keeps his bed in the corner, against a wall. He crowds them in a corner against a wall, making sure they won't fly off if he moves in his sleep, then falls asleep.

🧸 So... You can borrow some! He has like, what? Thirty plushies? Fourth? He lost count after the fiftieth plush apple.

🧸 He hasn't experiences sleep paralysis, but... from the one time he has seen you during it, it didn't look too nice. Then, when you talked to him about it afterward, he was horrified by it! It sounds like torture! Now he REALLY knows you need his apples!

🧸 Are you having a sleepover? Did you move in? It doesn't matter the situation, but if you ever have to sleep in the same bed as Wally, there WILL be a system to make sure you both get equal plushie distribution. He has three plans:

🧸 1: Wall. Just a wall of plush apples between you two. This is not the best option, because whoever is against the wall will probably be sore from being pressed against it.

🧸 2: Shell. Two equal rows of plushies along the outside of the bed, with you and Wally smooshed in the middle. Wally likes this option the best, because he likes human contact just as much as his plush apples. However, during late spring or summer, it might get a bit hot from body heat. There is also the fact that you might be uncomfortable being pressed against him. Everyone has their own idea of personal space, after all!

🧸 3: Stripes. Two rows on the outside, with one row in the middle. This is the second best option, in Wally's opinion. Protection from the wall the bed is against, with a protective wall between you and Wally, in case human contact isn't your thing while trying to sleep. It kinda looks like stripes along his bed, hence the name!

🧸 So, which option is the best? Do you need him to demonstrate each option? Maybe alternate between them, depending on the season? Just let him know!

[radioactive-dazey]

My orange side dreams (I've had 4)

A description of my multiple orange side dreams and some of my commentary on them.

The first one

I had this dream back in 2022. Logan was sitting in a closet looking into a mirror. But his reflection wasnt himself, it was Thomas with a scraggly beard, dirty grey hoodie, messy hair, etc. Logan was talking to him about backing off, the reflection was mocking him, and all of a sudden the reflection reaches out and pulls Logan into the mirror. He starts laughing evilly and takes on Logan's appearance, walking out of the mirror and out of the closet. The dream changes to me scrolling through the comment sections of youtube trying to look for theories about this video, when i find in the description for the video theres a single name: Julius.

What I find super funny about this dream was that, the original appearance is super similar to an old dark side OC I had before Remus was introduced. He represented procrastination.

The name Julius is also funny because I'm fairly certain my subconscious took it from the drink "orange Julius"

Also lmao me predicting Thomas having facial hair is wild, God damn 2022 Dazey.

The second one

Previously posted elsewhere on my tumblr, I'm basically copying and pasting the post here.

I had a dream that Thomas posted a sander sides video featuring Janus, Remus, and the orange side. The orange side had no defined appearance, he was constantly switching between looking like Patton, Virgil, and Logan.

Janus and Remus didn't like him. The orange side did things in the video that actually made REMUS feel disgusted. I wont describe how (info in the replies of the original post), but he was able to completely shut down other sides. He picked them off one by one and made them faint, disappear, etc...

You could tell by the end of the episode Janus was majorly unhappy but before he could do anything, the orange side rendered him unconscious and Thomas was left alone with him. The episode ended with the orange side laughing as the screen faded to black. The endcard featured Thomas announcing the next episode would come out in 2 years :) (ouch, the accuracy still hurts a bit)

The third one (short and sweet)

Orange side had this ability to influence other sides, like a temporary possession. He wore glasses, which let me tell you, I don't see many orange sides interpretations with glasses so this was just wild.

Despite the fact I know he wore glasses, he also didn't have a set appearance, like he was invisible. Similar to dream 2, he was constantly changing how he looked through this possession concept I brought up.

He was influencing Logan to lash out a lot. Weird huh *gestures vaguely to my complicated feelings to the wrath theory*

Different dream again, the final one

The orange side adopted the appearance and actions of my personal theory for what the orange side should be. Those who have read my orange side theories will already know what im about to say: He represented ignorance, his dark side animal was a bird (some sort of falcon or hawk), his name was Icarus. The entire dream (read: episode) was more or less about how the others fucking suck when it comes to addressing their issues. It felt like they were going in circles. Why did they have to constantly fight?

I've seen the arguments against my particular ignorance theory, saying it's basically just lying to yourself and we can't have two Deceits. But ignorance is more than just 'turning a blind eye.' It's purposefully ignoring new nformation to stay in a comfortable and familiar idea space. Most of the dream works from the angle of Logan not being listened to. The other sides ignorance is what makes Logan angry.

This means nothing but I feel like sharing. In this dream I got to meet Thomas and I asked him "so, Is the orange sides name icarus?" And he looked personally so offended that I guessed it.

[studywgabi]

I'm a Method Cashier!

And this was a role I could really sink my teeth into.

Okay, so, first of all, to work at Store there are 2 online applications, an online training course, 3 questionnaires for your references to fill out, 3 interviews (2 alone and 1 group), a background check, an unpaid 4-hr. orientation, a drug test, a pacer test, a polygraph test administered by an F.B.I. agent (and not like the sexy ones on Criminal Minds), a blood oath, and you have to be able to put on lipstick like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club. Jesus, there are less requirements to be elected president. And a cult wouldn't make you jump through this many hoops to join.

My Marketable Skills: I'm a warm body and I'm not an asshole. I'm not going to say "we should hang out outside of work" to my coworkers or mouth off to the customers. Basically, you should hire me because you could do a whole lot worse.

But I couldn't just say that. I couldn't just be honest. It had to be, with tears glistening in my eyes: "It has been my lifelong dream to be a cashier at Store. Cashiering is my passion. I have 3 Ph.D.s in Applied Cashiering, Cashiering Theory, and Experimental Cashiering from Harvard University's School of Cashiering, and I completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Oxford University's St. Cashier Cashiering College. I have 97 years of experience in the field."

So, I get there, for the first interview, in my silly little outfit, mostly stolen from my mom's closet. I walk in and say excuse me to the first employee I see. She clutches her chest, looks bewildered, and says "excuse me" back.

Gabi, apprehensively: "Hi, I'm here for an interview, could I speak to a manager please?"

Employee #1, startled: "Yeah." She walks off and I assume I'm meant to follow her.

My dead name sounds vaguely similar to the name of a character from a classic poem you read the Wikipedia summary of in ninth grade English class. The first five letters are the same, but the character's name ends with an a, and mine with an e. Anyway, while we were walking, we introduced ourselves and she said, and I've never have cause to use the word "chortling" before, but if there was ever a time, it was then, "Well, your mother must have been a big The Poet fan, huh?" (as if I've never heard that one before). I mustered a polite chuckle and said nothing.

Employee #1, sneering: "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Gabi, wishing for death: "No, I know the poem."

Employee #1, under her breath: "Big deal."

The rest of the walk is silent. We turn a corner and see a boy about my age. She starts calling his name, he fully makes eye contact with her, and then turns and speedwalks away. She keeps calling after him and picks up the pace to reach him, but he outruns her. No need to watch the documentary through your fingers, the antelope is safe this time. It turns out he wasn't even the manager, because I meet her next. The interview goes okay and I get the second one. I ask a different employee this time. She says into her walkie-talkie, "Anthony, Gabriella is here for an interview, do you want to deal with that?"

Anthony comes be-bopping up to me at 1,000 mph. When he's still several aisles away, he calls out "Hi, Friend!!" in an acoustic guitar-playing, jeans-wearing youth pastor voice. He leads me to the office, racing down the aisles like there's an serial killer revving a chainsaw behind him, and by the time I catch up in my pencil skirt and heels, I'm panting and sweating. Maybe this is part of the interview: seeing if you can keep up metaphorically and literally. The weakest shall be sacrificed.

Tony asks me, not why I want to work at Store, but why I want to work in general, as if earning money to eat is a casual hobby, like knitting. He asks me if I've applied anywhere else, like Store is a jealous girlfriend. Then he asks me if I have any questions, and I know you're supposed to have something, so I pull a couple out my ass. After he answers them, he asks if I have any more, and, thinking I'm out of the woods, I say not for now.

Anthony, ominously: "You sure?" Slowly pan back to Gabi.

Gabi, brightly: "I'm sure I'll have more during orientation if I'm hired, but I think I'm covered for now. Thank you!"

(Beat.) Anthony: "Well, you know, I'm just gonna give you some advice: you really should have more questions. But don't worry, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you a little bit more about how the Store family does things."

45 minutes later, he asks for a third set of questions, and then, believe or not, a fourth. Sir, this is my interview. You're not a celebrity guest on The Fucking Tonight Show. If you're so desperate for me to ask you questions, why don't you apply to this job? Or do like the rest of us and pretend you're on Ricki Lake talking about how brave you are to share the story of your divorce from Tim McGraw and how it inspired your new album, "Warm Regards, Gabi," currently topping the country charts while you shampoo your hair.

Three business days later, my email: "Congratulations! You have been selected to join the Store Family! Please report for orientation next Wednesday at noon."

Another day, another dollar.

[ilovespec]

Dangerous obsession ~

| Yandere FEM ! Dangerous gangster × FEM ! civilian reader | part 2

WARNINGS !!! : breaking and entering, arrest, your boyfriend in this story is a freaking freak, yandere is a woman АААААААА ЖЕНЩИНА ?!??!?!???!!!?? АААААААААААААА ЖЕНЩИНА !!!!!!!!!!!!! yandere and y/n are female here, their pronouns are she/her, all the characters my similarities with real people are random.

Part 1

Character description

After you told your boyfriend what happened... He just ignored you.

" (your name), just ignore it. And be grateful that people are paying attention to you ."

That's right... Not his style. He used to be more caring and kind... He resents you for being noticed by his boss...? Maybe. You were sitting on the couch and thinking about what to do... But, you gathered your thoughts and wrote to your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, but when you say that... I'm going to have to leave you... Don't come to my house anymore. "

After you wrote that, you immediately added him to the blacklist and put the phone on silent mode. Just in case.

At night, when you were already asleep, you heard people simply shooting at your door and through the shots you heard the angry screams of your already ex-boyfriend ...!!! You immediately grabbed the phone and dialed 112 (112 is the police number. It's like 911 in America and 112 in Russia)

- Telephone operator : What are you calling about?

- You: MY EX IS SHOOTING AT MY DAMN DOOR!!!

- Telephone operator: dear , stay calm and hide. What is your address?

In a panic, you give your address and name and hide in the closet, among mountains of clothes and other junk. Hoping that this psycho won't find you... After a couple of seconds, you heard sounds like something fell on the floor and footsteps. And then the voice of your ex-boyfriend.

- Just a crazy ex : (your name) ~... I know you're here somewhere~

And as soon as you heard the sound of footsteps in your room, and saw that the closet door began to slowly open, the police broke into your apartment and chased after your ex. And he immediately jumped out the window, but judging by the sounds, someone began to actively restrain him...

As soon as you were called by name, you immediately got out of the closet. And a young policewoman came up to you. She has red hair, tanned skin and blue eyes.

- Policewoman - Dear , are you all right ? Have you been injured?

You shook your head, shaking violently. And she gently smiling, she patted you on the back..

- Policewoman: do you have a place to spend the night? I doubt it's safe to sleep without a door...

as soon as you wanted to say something, you heard a very familiar, hoarse voice...With a German accent.

- ??? : Yes. She has a place to spend the night. She's staying with me for now, it's not safe here.

You looked at the owner of that voice... It was Belinda!! After the stress and the incident, you just walked up to her regardless of her status and hugged her. And without wasting a second, she took off her coat and threw it over you. Trying to make you as comfortable as possible. Today she is wearing her usual black turtleneck, black wide-leg trousers, a leather belt, ordinary sneakers and a black coat, which is thrown over you right now. Then Belinda looks at the policewoman with a strained smile, and takes you in her arms and leaves. And you , surrounded by warmth , unconsciously pass out burying yourself in her shoulder , and inhaling her scent : a mixture of cigarettes and citrus fruits.

The next morning you wake up in a place you don't know... This is a room decorated in Gothic style. You sit up in bed, looking around the room, and are startled by the voice behind you. It was Belinda.

- Belinda: Good morning to you. And yes, don't worry, stay with me for a couple of days. It's not very safe for you to walk our streets right now. What if your ex-boyfriend's friends try to find you?

Stop.. How does she know that you broke up?? And she noticed your look... She pulls you to her and hugs you. Yes. You are being hugged by the most dangerous dangerous gangster in your area.. Maybe even countries. And you, afraid of what will happen to you without a response, hesitantly hug her back. Than you deserve... A kiss on the top of the head...???? You immediately blush, and she just smiles softly and pats your head.

- Belinda: Let's sit like this... A little more..

You don't answer, but just quietly close your eyes... She smells like that .. It's kind of sleep-inducing... And when you open your eyes, you try discreetly examine Belinda up close. She has a thin face, her only dark turquoise eye is half closed, her short blonde hair looks soft up close... You asked quietly.

- You: Uh... Miss Belinda.. And why are you wearing this black patch on your right eye..?

- Belinda: First of all, mein schatz, not "Miss Belinda" but just Belinda. Or Bel. Call me whatever you want... And about the bandage.

With her free hand, she lifts her black headband to show...EMPTY FUCK EYE SOCKET

- Belinda : When I was just at the beginning of my gangster career, they just stuck a knife in my eye, lol.

Then, laughing softly , she lowers her blindfold , and ... She took you by the face with amazing care.

- Belinda: I'm shocked to be honest... You're so young.. And now you're sitting here with me. And I'm 40 years old, hehe..

Belinda smiles calmly, and completely wrapping both arms around you, puts you on your back, thereby forcing you to lie down. And then... She hugs you like a koala hugs a tree branch, and puts her head right over your heart.

Belinda : Kätzchen ...Can we go on a date later? Now, go get some sleep.

WHY IS IT SO STRAIGHTFORWARD?!??!!!

+ BONUS !!

A lil art of these kind policewoman <3

[venusxsturnio]

✧.* 𝒟𝐸𝒥𝒜 𝒱𝒰 ✧.* - Olivia Rodrigo

EP.2.GOOD 4 U

EP.1.PILOT

PAIRINGღ matt x ex!black!fem!reader!influencer

SUMMARYღmatt and y/n, were the perfect couple. until everything started to go downhill for them. the secrets, the lies, the gaslighting. It became too much for y/n. 8 1/2 months later...here we are.

FROM VENUSღ hey y'all. i just want to thank everyone who read the first part of this series and returned for the second. i hope you guys like this chapter, and it also might be really long because there is some sh!t that's about to go on...✿ (shout out to xduinen for helping me. y'all go follow her. my #1 supporter!) sorry there wasn't a lotta dialogue in the last part, i was just trying to give a general gist of the story anyways let me stop yappin. hope y'all enjoy :)

WARNINGSღ cussing...use of the word babe/baby...featuring Olivia's song(do not own the song. or other characters only mine. only plot.)

kinda proofread...i was kinda lazy today it was a lotta writing...sorry if i messed anything up. :)

REALITY...

POV: 3RD PERSON

9:45 AM

Y/N'S PLACE:

y/n was in her bathroom doing her facial routine for vidcon when she heard a faint sound of her phone ringing. she got up and walked in her room searching for her phone. she lifted up the blanket on her bed to find her phone buzzing. she flipped the phone over to find that her manager, miguel was calling. "Hello?" she answered "I have a job for you today. You're performing at vidcon. Like singing." y/n's face lit up at the thought of her performing at vidcon for all her fans. "OMG! Are you serious.?" y/n asked still in shock.

"Deadly." her manager stated. y/n silently jumped up and down in excitement. "What time do I need to be there?" y/n questioned. "12. But you might want to get there a little earlier being as it can get very hectic. You remember last year." her manager explained, laughing a little at the end. y/n chuckled a little at the thought of last years vidcon, the two hung up as y/n went to her closet to grab some gray gallery dept sweats, a white fitted long-sleeve top, and her white/black/gray retro 4's, along with her gray beanie, keys, purse and her phone as she walked out of her room, downstairs, out the door, and to her car.

10:04 AM

STURNIOLO HOUSE:

the triplets and megan were all getting ready to go to vidcon. they all got dressed and headed down stairs to eat breakfast. "So what creators are gonna be there?" chris said breaking the silence. "I know for sure that my favorite tiktoker is gonna be there. She's like the best. I can't wait for you guys to meet her." megan squealed. nick and chris looked at her in confusion, being they never really liked megan. similar to someone, they really missed y/n.

that's why they still keep in contact with her. "Who is it?" matt asked with a confused expression on his face. "You'll find out when we get there." megan stated. "Uh, guys I think we should get going. We don't wanna get caught up in traffic this time. Remember last year?" chris changed the subject, laughing at the last part. "I agree." nick said. the group finished eating, gathered their things and left.

11:40 AM

ANAHIEM CONVETION CENTER:

y/n was in her dressing room just chillin when she heard a knock at her door. "come in!" y/n yelled. her manager walked in with a rack that had a white dress and some bedazzled heels on it. "ok so this is what you're wearing on stage." miguel stated grabbing the dress and showing her. "thanks, i love it." y/n said admiring her dress. "you're welcome" miguel said as he walked out. y/n smiled to herself. she sat back down and got on her phone.

12:05 PM

a few moments later she got a text on her phone from miguel saying "come on out the ppl are waiting!". y/n grabbed her phone as she walked out of her room. she made it to the door of the building and walked into the big room, with all the booths, and tables, and people. every section she walked by people were screaming and cheering for her. she laughed as she walked over to her section, and everyone started screaming. "OMG HI!." one fan said. "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! CAN I GET A PIC!" another said.

y/n got flustered and she felt her cheeks go hot. she smiled and waved at the fans, as she went to sit down at her booth. even some people from other booths were running over to hers. that's how much people loved her. she started grabbing books, and papers, and started signing them. she even took some pictures. y/n was happy until...

12:10 PM

the triplets walked into the building and to their booth while megan went to grab a chair and sit on the sidelines, since she was kind of irrelevant in this situation. she watched as all the girls piled up all over the triplets. giving them hugs, and fake little kisses on the cheek. some might say she even got jealous. the boys signed some books, and papers as well. they also took pictures, you know the usual. megan was kind of getting tired of it, so she went to go see if her favorite tiktoker was here. she walked around for some time, until she came up on a long, line. she gazed her view from the back of the line to the front. she met eyes with y/n. she smiled and waved, y/n smiled back as megan ran to the line, to wait for her turn.

the guys took a break from taking pictures and went back to signing autographs as matt looked around for megan. "Guys, where's Megan?" matt asked confused. why would she leave without telling him. "Don't know don't care." nick said with a bit of an attitude in his voice. "Same here." chris said with a sarcastic tone. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" matt asked. he always wondered why the boys would act like that whenever megan was brought up, or she said something. "What do you mean?" nick said, acting clueless as usual. "You know what the hell I mean. Why do you guys act that way towards her?" matt asked started to get irritated. "BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE HER!" the boys yelled out of frustration. the fans jumped back a little at the tone of voice that was being used.

the triplets went back and forth for a little while longer until matt saw megan running excitedly. "OMG MATT! LOOK I GOT HER SIGNATURE!" megan yelled. before matt could get a good look at the autograph, smoke started shooting out of canons, and everyone looked towards the stage. lots of people started running towards the stage to figure out what was going on. before everyone knew it CoryxKenshin walked out onto the stage.

"What's up everybody. It's ya boy CoryxKenshin and welcome to Vidcon! We have a special guest joining us today. She has over 4.3M followers on tiktok and she just got to 1M subscribers on YouTube. Please welcome our special guest!" Cory exited the stage as 'Good 4 U' started blast on the stage speakers. y/n entered stage left in her dress in heels. she walked like a model. once she reached the mic she grabbed it, spun around and blew a kiss at the crowd. everyone started cheering and y/n started singing. "Well good for you I guess you moved on really easily."'

matt was frozen he didn't know what the hell to do, as he looked towards the stage to find a familiar face.

MATT POV

i looked towards the stage and i saw a girl who looked to be y/n. she looked so...different. she looked good. she dyed her hair. she shaped up. damn, is that what breakups do to someone. i-i can't believe she's here. and where did she learn to sing like that. i felt megan's grip on my arm and she jumped up and down signing with y/n.

Y/N POV

"Well good for you I guess you're getting everything you want." 'you bought a new car and your careers really taking off' i sung. wow, this was amazing, i cannot believe i am on stage right now. wait is that who i think it is. oh my fucking god. it's matt. omg i cannot believe i signed her picture and she dates...matt.

MATT POV

damn she's really good. wait is this the tiktoker megan was talking about? is this the whole reason megan wanted to come? i can't believe how much y/n's changed. i wonder...has she been thinking about me to?

Y/N POV

why does he keep staring at me. maybe he's enjoying it. alright maybe i should do something big for the end to impress him. or make him jealous. i think i should jump into the crowd. 'like a damn sociopath, i've lost my mind and i've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom' alright get ready.

3RD POV

y/n got ready to finish the song as she l=made eye contact with matt. she jumped off the stage and into the crowd. she made her way onto the floor in the middle right with megan and matt. they made eye contact. she spun around whipping him in the face with her long goddess braids as she ran back up stage and finished the song. "Well good for you I guess you moved on really easily."

MATT POV

well ouch for one. why did she jump off the stage and come to me. why did she make eye contact with me. why did she whip her hair onto me. i can't help but to think this song, this performance, that dress, the new look, was all meant for. me.

FROM VENUSღ hey guys! hope you liked this chapter, it was A LOT to write! how did y'all like my suprise. i mean coryxkenshin, like what ? when did he get here. anyways remember my dm's are always open, so if you have any ideas or suggestion, i'm happy to help. :)

[s0methingmoonlit]

So what if O!Sky was soft?

Ah, the brainrot just won’t go away. I think FNF Soft is wonderful! Mostly because the concept and aesthetic, and Grace! She’s my favorite of the bunch. Oh, I could ramble on and on about her, but we’re focusing on the Skyverse, especially O!Sky! This is my design for her! I tried my best to imitate Alex’s style, I think it’s pretty good. A little wonky on the limbs though.

Madison has a unique sense of fashion, I mean she wants to look stylish so makes sense. She’s a part time hair stylist, but dreams of becoming a fashion designer. She dyed parts of her hair blue because that was her second favorite color. She loves purple the most, and it’s pretty much 99% of her closet. Madison is not too short, only 5”2. But there are many more people taller than her, which is why she wears platform shoes. I was originally going to make her similar to her sister, but I think it’s better not to do that since that wouldn’t make much sense, mostly because of her backstory. If you wanna read it, just click or tap the magic button (aka keep reading LOL)

The two photos above are two other outfits. Madison’s outfit on her reference sheet is very similar to the second image, only that in the traditional drawing, the skirt is flowing, while in the one above, is a tight skirt, like the one in the third image.

Now let’s get into the backstory…

Madison wasn’t abused in her past like Benjamin was, but instead she heavily bullied someone. Specifically her younger sister. Yes, I do mean the Soft Sky we all know and love.

The Sky Siblings used to live in “The city of Stars” together with their parents. The father worked very busy as a Tailor, so they didn’t suffer too much financially. When they were young, Madison was always the one doing better at… pretty much anything. Sports, art, singing…whatever you name. At least their mom’s eyes. Mom would always give her older daughter attention and neglects her younger daughter. Because of that, Madison liked to treat her sister like crap, always bragging about herself and how she was better while Sky couldn’t “do anything” or was just “stupid and talentless.” She said lots mean things every single time she had a chance to. Their mother always just brushed it off as playful teasing because they were just kids! Kids don’t know morals. Same thing happened with the dad, but unlike mom, he actually started to slowly catch on to Madison’s hateful behavior. He then constantly reminds her to be more nicer to her younger sister, but that didn’t seem to work. He also began noticing that his wife was actually neglecting Sky. Before the siblings started middle school, the parents had a discussion with each other, which then turned into an argument, which lead to them getting a divorce. Sky and their father stayed at home, while Madison and their mother moved to another city. And that’s when Madison slowly starts to realize her behavior that past years. The less she was with her sister, the more days that went on, the more she felt guilty for her past actions. Her superiority complex slowly turned into an inferiority complex.

Nowadays, she’s much more mature, but isn’t very open to others. In other words, she’s very mysterious. She has a nice facade in order to please customers at her job, but in college she’s very avoidant of others. Like I said before, she strives to become a fashion designer, but also mustn’t reveal too much of herself. So yeah the reason Mother Mairest reminds Madison so much of herself is because she acted too much like her younger self. Also she only sees herself in Marilyn and not Frank is because 1) He’s ugly (at least Marilyn has a decent fashion sense) and 2) Madison never physically hurt Sky, at all. Even as a child she would never go far to physical harm. So no, Madison couldnt have caused that to Sky’s left eye.

Unfortunately, Mama Sky is a not a good mom in this AU. Actually, we know absolutely nothing about O!Sky’s mom OG universe, but I’ve always assumed she’s a good mother! But despite this, Madison still maintains a good relationship with mom. I mean, Mama Sky isn’t manipulative or abusive towards her, just was playing the favorite game in the worst way possible. I know many parents play favorites but this mother just takes it too far

“Ok, but what about Benjamin Fairest? What does Madison think of him?” Good question! You see… I actually didn’t think that far. Well, this is literally called the soft AU so the characters should seem less rambunctious and more calm. I guess Madison would just be neutral towards him. Like she wouldn’t care about his existence, she only wants his parents to get a good well deserved punishment. So yeah, he’s just okay in her eyes.

“What about Grace/Pico?” She has no idea who either of them are. Actually she knows the latter, but that’s only because a bunch of people made jokes about him in her high school.

“Wait, Sky Sky Curls?” I headcanon Soft Sky’s real name would be “Libby” but again, it’s only canon in my head, so I tend to stay away from using that.

I went on several different baby name websites for names that meant “heart.” Yes that is a reference to Old O!Sky’s sister being named Hearts. I kinda sorta gave up because I was doing this late at night. I chose Libby, or Libi, because it meant “my heart” or “girl” which isn’t exactly what I wanted, but I guess it was good enough.

Basically Libby was what I personally thought was most fitting for Soft Sky. If you read the small crossed out text, ok then.

Hmm… I guess that’s about all I could say! If you have any more questions, then the ask box is open! I think even people who don’t have a Tumblr and only came from my insta can use the ask box. You can ask anonymously or not.

[kmoplq]

My Mother’s Café

Johnny ‘Soap’ McTavish x GN!Reader

Synopsis: All of 141 is on leave and you thought you’d relax at your local and favorite café with the nice lady working there. Little did you know McTavish would take her place.

Notes: This was the most random idea ive ever had and the fastest ive ever went up with an idea like that 💀💀

WC:596

Twice a year, unless of injury, all of 141 gets to go on leave. This was 1 out of 2 of those weeks. You laid in bed, wondering what you should do on your time off.

Normally, you’d sleep or only go out for groceries since no one else besides Laswell, from the task force was in America. You didn’t want to disturb her and her wife’s time asking to go out somewhere.

You decided to at least get up and take a shower. After you got home last night, you just striped and went straight to your bed.

While getting undressed, you remembered the café that you’d always visit on your time off. That’s when you decided to go there instead of sleeping the break away.

You got out the shower, dried off, and went to your closet. Since you hadn’t been home for a while, it never crossed your mind to do the laundry. You looked up to the tiny amount of clothes on the white plastic hangers to pick out.

You thought about going to the gym later, so you just threw on your compression shirt and some shorts. You grabbed your keys and phone and headed out the door.

As you pulled up to the café, you noticed the usual long line. The place had very few people come around, reason being why you loved it so much. You turned off your car and walked in.

What you didn’t expect to see is Soap panicking behind the counter with a red apron on and hair threw back into a mohawk ponytail with a scrunchie.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sight almost making you belly laugh in the blaring café. You didn’t realize that you were next in line until you heard Soap clear his throat.

“Hello and welcome to Scottish delights how can i help you today?”

You finally looked up to him. Getting a good glimpse of him made your face warm. His scar down his eye shining in the early morning, almost afternoon.

“I didn’t know you worked another job, McTavish?”

“I don’t. Im here on my mama’s behalf.” “Your mom?” “Yeah, shes out sick. The flu.”

You had to do some mental mathematics in your head to calculate what he meant.

“Like.. Your mom is an employee??”

“No dimwit, she owns the place.”

You had to blink at him for a split second, but your small dick sized brain finally caught on.

“O-“ “Listen hurry up and order and i’ll explain more after my shift, I get off at 6.”

You ordered your usual and waited at a table patiently. You thought about the woman, finally noticing the smile so similar to Soap’s, the body language, the eyes, and most definitely the accent.

You can tell he got most of his traits from her too.

“number 65 with a black tea, 3 sugar cubes, and one cranachan.”

You heard Soap yell, he almost sounded like he was on the field.

Seeing peoples heads and faces turn startled was funny. You got up from your seat and walked over ti the counter.

“Hm, maybe I should meet your mother more personally?”

“Don’t sweat it, she doesn’t like dimwits like you.” “Really? Because every time i’d come here, she seems very fond of me.”

He started turning pink and shoved the bag and cup towards me.

“Just get the hell out and i’ll see you at your place later.” “Ok, seems like a date though. See you later!!”

You took your order and headed out the café towards your car.

IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING BUT UH HERE U GO SS MY APOLOGY 😞😞 (might be a part 2??)